[Help] Just keep slimming š
/u/lilith2569
Created: Thu Sep 6 20:56:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dq5hu/just_keep_slimming/
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I used to have access to ADHD meds or adipex. I no longer do. Is there anything that mimics that appetite suppressant? I have recently heard of EC stacking.. but I canāt get ephedrine without a prescription. Iām thinking the ephedra extract is sold but Iām unsure of where to buy, what brand to buy, if itās worth it, etc. Does anyone know of anything that acts like the adipex or if the EC is worth it and can recommend what to get?
Halo top is finally in NZ!
/u/moisiny
Created: Thu Sep 6 20:54:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dq4xr/halo_top_is_finally_in_nz/
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https://i.redd.it/nst8y47udqk11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I binged and Iām wasted
/u/throwmoneyatme223388
Created: Thu Sep 6 20:35:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpztv/i_binged_and_im_wasted/
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I binged in chips and Queso and margaritas. Iām drunk and Iām ugly and worthless. I just want to be skinny and beautiful and guys to like me but here I am fat and fucking ugly and unlikable.
I wish I had never been abused by an older man when I was younger. I just want to be that normal, skinny, beautiful girl and Iām not. God I want to cut myself. I wish I would just starve until I die, but I canāt because Iām a fucking hippo. Sorry for the rant. I just wish I didnāt exist.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Just binged for the first time in a while
/u/xz8362614455921r [5'2.5" | CW: 109lbs | GW: 84lbs | 26y/o]
Created: Thu Sep 6 20:33:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpz8v/rant_just_binged_for_the_first_time_in_a_while/
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[Also: mild drug TW]
I made it 19 days (almost three weeks) without binge-eating. That's the best I've done in ages.
But fucked up today. Yesterday, my intake was the lowest it's been in a while, and I've been ill. Then tonight, a friend came over to smoke a bl/nt with my roommates and me. I haven't smoked in ages, and ended up getting 'the muchines.' Ate at least a couple hundred cals of tortilla chips and salsa, WHILE one of my roommates was chatting with and watching me.
So disgusted. I feel like I could barf. Roomie insists it's fine and 'making up for [me] not eating enough,' but I don't necessarily believe her, haha.
Anyway, sorry/thanks to anyone who read that trash. I guess lately I've been dealing with the first relapse I've had of a problem I've been dealing with for over a decade and I'm tired of this life, lol. [/end pity party]
Found in another sub...
/u/AbjectRepresentative [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Sep 6 20:32:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpz15/found_in_another_sub/
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https://imgur.com/NCIxHHt
Fuck I miss starving
/u/WarriorChica
Created: Thu Sep 6 20:18:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpus3/fuck_i_miss_starving/
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A couple of years ago I was crashing hard & did the whole treatment thing (Castlewood, McCallum, EDCA, UCLA, fucking River Oaks, I maybe forgot one or two). Kinda got my shit together. Scale says I'm maintaining (on the wrong side of a Big Weight indent, but w/e). Got my career established. Got out of foreclosure. Could concentrate on work. All that shit. But a friend asked me out for "drinks and nibbles" so I skipped lunch like I do when nothing critical has to be done in the afternoon and there's going to be OMG Such Intake in the evening. Got to the place before they did. And it hit me like a wave. That opioid flood of starving. "Hello starving my old friend..."
[Discussion] Different periods of eating?
/u/staticphat [Height: 5'3 | CW: Rice Paddle | GW: Chopstick]
Created: Thu Sep 6 20:17:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpudz/different_periods_of_eating/
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Does anyone else have binge/restriction/maintenance periods? Like Iāll have periods of several days where I binge heavily, days where I restrict, days where I restrict, and days where I maintain. Then it starts all over again :( Iām trying to get over the binging but itās really hard
Favorite (un)intentional thinsporation? This singer used to post stuff like this so often it almost seemed purposefully pro, although not so much anymore. I still look at old pictures every day tho
/u/AbjectRepresentative [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Sep 6 20:16:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpu8k/favorite_unintentional_thinsporation_this_singer/
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https://imgur.com/a/r5H74JM
DAE get muscle twitches
/u/cicadashellgirl
Created: Thu Sep 6 19:52:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpmwa/dae_get_muscle_twitches/
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this past week ive been restricting and fasting and i keep getting these awful muscle twitches that i think are related... there is this one in my upper back that has been twitching for 12hr today its so annoying and borderline painful. anyone else get these? anything help them go away?
[Help] Anyone ever purge with other people in the room?
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" | CW 119| GW 115 | UGW 110 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 19:39:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpj3w/anyone_ever_purge_with_other_people_in_the_room/
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I live in a dorm with a bathroom. I wake up before my roommate and usually I wait till Iām alone to purge but itās getting harder to keep food down. If I turn on the shower and play music that should cover the sound right?
[Discussion] SO DAF?
/u/youcansaynoyouknow
Created: Thu Sep 6 19:36:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpi7d/so_daf/
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Just curious. Iām married and was borderline underweight to begin with, so I donāt blame him. But I do still. My BMI is below 17.5 for the first time in several years, but he shows ZERO interest/concern, so I am starting to feel like, wow, you really DGAF about me? Or are you just dense? Or think Iām fine, or think Iām totally doing this with full control? I donāt think he understands how messed up my head and obsessive tendencies areāexcept when he rolls his eyes. Which is super helpful... š I mean, I donāt bring it up except in very casual chat, but come on, dude. Iām your wife. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] I've hit a plateau and thinking about using ADHD meds to help my restriction
/u/sucrederable
Created: Thu Sep 6 19:32:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dph2p/ive_hit_a_plateau_and_thinking_about_using_adhd/
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I do have ADD with a prescription and now I think I might take it more often. Especially on the weekends. I need to control my hunger and intake.
It's driving me insane. I eat 200-250 cals for breakfast, then fast until 5pm. But then I just eat so much in the evening. I try to hit 1,000 every day. The weekends are worse, because there is nothing keeping me busy. It's so frustrating.
I really need to lose this weight. I'm at a 21.5 bmi, but want to get down to 18.
[Rant/Rave] Sleep-sleep eating
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 114 | 17.8 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 19:21:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpdy4/sleepsleep_eating/
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Ok I have to admit this is kinda funny. Last night I had a dream that I went to eat pizza, but there was none left. My mom told me I had eaten the entire thing IN MY SLEEP. Thatās right folks. I didnāt even get to dream about eating a whole pizza because it happened while I was asleep IN A DREAM. so disappointed lol
Can we have a moment of appreciation for Pepto Bismol?
/u/xx420bluntymcbongxx [5'7" | CW 125 | BMI 19.51 | 25F šØš¦]
Created: Thu Sep 6 19:21:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpds2/can_we_have_a_moment_of_appreciation_for_pepto/
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I mean, come on now - not only is it great for a sour stomach after a purge/binge, but it tastes BETTER THAN CANDY!!
You're the one thing in my life that never lets me down, you saucy pink ambrosia of the gods.
[Help] what were the first symptoms of malnutrition you felt?
/u/aplanetkid [5'7" | 21.44 | -12.4 | male | GW 110]
Created: Thu Sep 6 19:20:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpdg5/what_were_the_first_symptoms_of_malnutrition_you/
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ive been restricting for a little while now and starting to feel different, wondering if these are due to restricting and normal
[Rant/Rave] you ever freak out over eating normal amount of calories
/u/summerservice [5'2 | ??? | 19F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 19:15:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpbwm/you_ever_freak_out_over_eating_normal_amount_of/
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I'm kidding obviously y'all know what I mean
I'm trying to restrict to 800 and I've been good the past few days but today I missed lunch and my roommate got a lil upset with me and so I ended up with about 1200 for the day (my dumb ass stayed wanting JUICE for some reason) and I was stressing hardcore but like... 1200 is totally normal for a person who is dieting.... I will still lose at 1200.......... I'm still mad though
also I didn't bring my scale to school so lol no idea what I weigh rn !! I have lost about an inch off my waist since the last time I measured though ;-)
[Help] Any documentaries about EDās that donāt focus on bulimia or anorexia?
/u/trappedinaclub
Created: Thu Sep 6 19:10:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpal6/any_documentaries_about_eds_that_dont_focus_on/
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Ok does anyone know of any documentaries about eating disorders or people with an eating disorder that donāt focus on the extremes? Like I feel like all of them just look at the extremely thin side or the extremely obese side of EDās but i donāt know of any documentaries or movies that look at people with an ED that are like more middle range
Having trouble deciding
/u/Adventurous_Mango
Created: Thu Sep 6 19:10:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dpaha/having_trouble_deciding/
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Ive been a lurker for a while. I was hoping for some advice. Going back to my Mental Health doctor in a few days to get a prescription for my ADHD. Im looking forward honestly because with my bipolar i get stuck in these binge and purge loops for days. I have seen that vyvanse is something that might help me and help me to reach my restricting goals. Does Ritalin help as much as vyvanse does with appetite? ritalin is cheaper with my insurance, but if vyvanse is better i will try to go with that. Thanks in advance for the words of wisdom.
[Help] Thinspo of women with HUGE AF ribcages?
/u/110_percent_bot
Created: Thu Sep 6 18:58:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dp6w5/thinspo_of_women_with_huge_af_ribcages/
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Does anyone know where I can find thinspo of women with huge ribcages?
Reason: I have a huge ribcage. It's just...really thick. Like even if you get rid of back fat and just measure the bones, it is huge. I hate it so much since I know I'll never be able to look petite and dainty like I want to. I just want to see what I could look like at my ideal BMI (20 or lower)...
[Rant/Rave] DAE hate compliments?
/u/katkicksthesky
Created: Thu Sep 6 18:57:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dp6aa/dae_hate_compliments/
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I've been heavy restricting since February and I've lost 55 pounds as of today. Everyone keeps telling me how good I look and honestly, I fucking hate it. I don't feel good. I still have so much weight left to lose before I hit my gw. I don't get how they look at me and can say that with me still being such a fucking whale.
I can't restrict like I used to as a teen
/u/moderatefemme
Created: Thu Sep 6 18:56:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dp61c/i_cant_restrict_like_i_used_to_as_a_teen/
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Im 25 now, and I tried to go a whole day without food. I got incredibly angry and lashed out, I was too weak to walk more than a mile, and had to order something with sugar from a cafe so that I could have the strength to walk home. My previous record was a week on just fresh juice at age 20. I feel like I don't know to restrict anymore now that my body is older and apparently fed up with my bullshit. My ED has been in remission for a few years, and now that my metabolism is healed and my body is healthy, restricting is like this! Where is my fasting high and feeling of invincibility? What's wrong with my body?!
[Rant/Rave] I've been telling my friend more and more about my ED habits and I'm beginning to think I'm being a burden on him
/u/110_percent_bot
Created: Thu Sep 6 18:52:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dp4vw/ive_been_telling_my_friend_more_and_more_about_my/
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I have this close friend. A while ago we were talking about some personal stuff, he was having relationship problems with his now ex girlfriend, and my ED came up, and I sort of hinted at it "oh back in high school I starved myself". Ever since, I've been opening up to him about it more. Very slowly, I'd say over the span of six months. Now he's heard quite a bit. I'll sometimes tell him if I'm fasting that day, or if I had ephedrine and am feeling jittery. I never tell him about binges though, because I don't want him to think I am disgusting. We even sort of joke about it. Like he'll say "I'm going out to dinner with friends" and I'll say "Haha eating" and he'll say "Please eat", stuff like that. He is supportive and kind and never says anything wrong, he doesn't lie to me and tell me I'm skinny but also doesn't hurt me and tell me I'm fat or need to lose weight.....
But I also worry I'm becoming a burden on him. I'll sometimes say "sorry this is too much I shouldn't be saying this" and he will just ignore it. Also in a way having a person to tell ED stuff makes me feel successful in a really fucked up way, like, I must be losing weight if I'm restricting enough for someone to be worried.
For example, today I just did a 24 hour fast and am still going strong...I really want to tell him (we text a lot, sometimes just small stuff like "I saw X movie today", so saying this isn't so weird other than the subject matter) ....but I can't tell why, is it because I am proud and want to share my accomplishment, is it because I want him to care about me more? Will he just be annoyed that I am not following his advice to get help from a doctor?
What makes things even more complicated is that I think I have a crush on him. So a part of me wants him to know this stuff so he cares about me more, and the other part is wondering whether I blew my chances since I told him too much and now he thinks I'm too messed up. And then I also catch myself thinking how great it'd be to lose weight "for him" and ugggh... This is just the worst. I hate myself
[Discussion] dae use b/ping like a drug?
/u/sleepyboyblue [5'5 | CW 110 | GW 100 | M]
Created: Thu Sep 6 18:48:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dp3ih/dae_use_bping_like_a_drug/
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i like drugs bc they let me forget im me, and when you blank out and have a good big b/p sesh it kinda feels the same. is this just me or do u guys do it too??
[Discussion] DAE watch cartoon/movies/shows and focus on what the characters diets are like more than actually watching it?
/u/bunnywithbpd [5"2 || 104]
Created: Thu Sep 6 18:43:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dp1xl/dae_watch_cartoonmoviesshows_and_focus_on_what/
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Movies like Black Swan, I monitor everything the main ballerina (Natalie portman) eats as well as mila kunis's character.
In Skins too, I watch Effys eating pattern, Cassie's (obviously), and Michelle's.
I watched Alpha the other day and I was like wow! This guy is unintentionally fasting (as a man in the Ice Age lol) what goals!
Then watching the Last Airbender I'm like, wow Katara and Aang are such skinny goals, they must burn so many calories and eat so healthy in that world
Then NGL, spongebob makes me mad jealous knowing he can eat krabby patties and have such thigh gap goals š¤ (OK I'm joking on this one)
Anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] anddddd I binged -_-
/u/ohdarlingyourefucked
Created: Thu Sep 6 18:42:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dp1h9/anddddd_i_binged/
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I was doing great today. But needed to go grocery shopping because we were almost out of everything. Because I was hungry and bought anything and everything my gluttonous eyes saw. Then got home and tore through all the junk I shouldnāt have bought in the first place. Now Iām hating myself but still wanting to go back for more. Why am I like this omg š«
FUCK DINING HALLS
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 106|16.5|UGW: 100|F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 18:37:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dozxm/fuck_dining_halls/
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i've been trying really hard to restrict well since i'm at my original UGW (104/105) but damn i still feel fat lol. my college dining hall is all you can eat but they list the calories in everything and portion it all out, which is nice? they also have sandwich and salad bars. yesterday i planned on making half a sandwich for ~100 calories, a small salad, and a bit of vegetable soup (~80) and have that as an OMAD, but nope!!! i ate all of that plus a fuckton of desserts and i ate like 3 entrees and it was fucking terrible. i can't control myself if i'm surrounded by food and i hate hate hate knowing i can't go back there. i've binged almost every time i've gone in and it fucking sucks. i purged maybe half of it and then my dad visited in the afternoon and bought fast food so of course i ate a ton of it and then purged that too, at least fasting today went pretty well because my throat hurts too bad to eat anything :')
[Discussion] Is it bad to want irl ed friends?
/u/FatsiaJaponica
Created: Thu Sep 6 18:36:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dozfw/is_it_bad_to_want_irl_ed_friends/
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As much as I hate having a shit relationship with food, and not wishing it on anybody else, or wanting to trigger/encourage others to have bad relationships with food, I still sort of wish I had someone irl I could just hang with that also had an ed? I mean, I dunno. Being at university and having friends who want to do food-related things oe have perfectly normal food-relationships gets tiring. They're so fine, and I have to act fine as well (or have them comment on my habita). It would just be nice to have someone to talk to... That being said triggering another human would suck ass.
[Help] How many calories are in general tspās chicken
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Thu Sep 6 18:27:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9downa/how_many_calories_are_in_general_tsps_chicken/
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I really love this dish but I canāt bring myself to eat it because I have no idea how many calories are in it. Itās been so long since Iāve had it too.
[Discussion] Anyone else on here NOT skinny?
/u/FeatherMahogany59
Created: Thu Sep 6 18:18:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dou1d/anyone_else_on_here_not_skinny/
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I mean, I know none of us think we are... but I mean actually overweight or close to it? I just this month lost enough that Iām considered healthy weight. I lost a TON of weight from restricting while in college (after a long time binge eating), gained it back, and recently started restricting a lot again.
Just wanted to see if anyone was in the same boat as me. Is anyone else trying to lose a lot of weight, or are you guys working to get to 100 instead of 105?
Stuff we already know, but probs a good all-in-one guide
/u/rizzie_ [5ā2 | 126.7 | HW: 142 | F | š: rizzie_]
Created: Thu Sep 6 18:10:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dorgp/stuff_we_already_know_but_probs_a_good_allinone/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/1200isplenty/comments/9dmyet/starbucks_guide_by_a_1200isplenty_barista/
[Rant/Rave] New record??
/u/ManWithTheHands [6'5" | HW-333|CW-250 | GW-220 | BMI-27.56 | -83 | M19]
Created: Thu Sep 6 17:52:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9domd1/new_record/
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I just weighed in at 248, the lowest I can remember being before this is 280 lmao, I'm closing in on my GW
[Rant/Rave] UGHHHHHHHHH
/u/kahmanee [6ā2ā | 180 | 23.1 | 80+ lbs | Male]
Created: Thu Sep 6 17:46:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dokd2/ughhhhhhhhh/
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why is it whenever Iām having a good day I manage to screw it up somehow? I fasted for 23 hours today and I felt so nice and skinny, it was amazing. of fucking course I ruined it and binged. I wouldnāt be feeling too bad about binging but unfortunately this past week iāve been eating around maintenance and I hate it. I just know the bloat and water weight is gonna stick around for a while too ugh
[Tip] **PSA** Feeling a binge coming on? Trying to kill time while restricting? Having a bad day? Volunteer at your local animal shelter!
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | 17.1 | 21F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 17:35:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9doh4s/psa_feeling_a_binge_coming_on_trying_to_kill_time/
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I can answer yes to at least one of those questions almost daily.
This never occurred to me so I wanted to mention it. I was having a really shitty day, but then I went to a volunteer orientation at the animal shelter. I feel so much better!! Didn't even get to see animals today, it was just a really wholesome environment.
Kill time, give some love to animals that need it, and let them give some love back! It's a win win win.
Please consider for both your sake and the animals ;)
[Tip] Starbucks guide by a 1200isplenty barista
/u/groovedude
Created: Thu Sep 6 17:29:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dof1h/starbucks_guide_by_a_1200isplenty_barista/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/1200isplenty/comments/9dmyet/starbucks_guide_by_a_1200isplenty_barista/
Gonna do a No-Body-Checking challenge for the rest of the month.
/u/bunnywithbpd [5"2 || 104]
Created: Thu Sep 6 17:23:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dodgz/gonna_do_a_nobodychecking_challenge_for_the_rest/
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No mirrors, no poking my thighs, no tight clothes, no fat pinching, no measuring, no scales nadaaa.
Had some sort of mass hysteria yesterday for half an hour with my legs looked like they were huge, had a horrible freakout, then after I looked at them again and they looked back to normal. Excuse me but what the fuck brain? LOL.
Decided looking at my body causes a lot of triggers and I perform better on my diet by not feeling like a sack of blob. I'm pretty sure I'll feel a lot better after.
Here's to oversized shirts and shorts for a month š
[Rant/Rave] struggle
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1.5" | CW202.4 | BMI38 | -18 | 22M]
Created: Thu Sep 6 17:12:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9do9p8/struggle/
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yesterday my girlfriend (which, apparently, I've got one now) told me I look "AMAZING" with my shirt off. I almost never take my shirt off.
she also told me it pisses her off when people don't take care of themselves & their bodies and she could never be with someone like that. I started laughing and asked her if she was aware that I was fat. she said it's different and I obviously put in effort. she has no idea.
an old friend told me today that I'm like a superhero because I got through school, kick ass at work, am dieting, etc. I couldn't take her seriously.
I'm doing well at work, & the person training me has to harass me to eat or else I'll go all 12 hours on caffeine and bronkaid. If she catches me skipping breaks, I'll eat a 200 calorie "meal" or some graham crackers and peanut butter.
But on my days off I lay here like a lump, don't go to the gym, and eat a disgusting amount of food. I can't get my mind right on my off days. I don't even want to leave bed. Why am I like this?! I smell a looong restriction phase coming on. It seems to be part of what people admire me for.... Or my delusional brain tells me everyone will love me more this way.
Everyone loves me except me. š¤·āāļø
[Other] Looking for people to add on MFP
/u/madeinny88 [5'8" | 125 | 19.0 | 30/F ]
Created: Thu Sep 6 16:51:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9do32g/looking_for_people_to_add_on_mfp/
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Letās keep each other accountable... my username on MFP is Madeinny88, please feel free to add me or leave your MFP username in the comments and I will add you! š
Fitbit friends
/u/sugarfreeicetea [5'7"|-50|18F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 16:43:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9do0af/fitbit_friends/
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I just got a fitbit and I want to add friends to do challenges with!
If anyone would like to join message me your email and I will add you to the challenge!
[Rant/Rave] DAE remember that episode of Freaky Eaters with the woman who would chew and spit all her meals?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 š» CW: 93lbs š» 21F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 16:40:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dnzi0/dae_remember_that_episode_of_freaky_eaters_with/
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I think the episode was called like āaddicted to liquidsā or something (I donāt exactly remember), but Iām surprised this hasnāt been talked about on here!
I remember watching this episode like 3 years ago, before I had even thought of chewing and spitting as a means of weight loss (I was just fasting).
After seeing this episode, I immediately bought a package of Oreos and adopted chewing and spitting. Itās now an every day, multiple-times-a-day ordeal.
This episode quite literally ruined my life.:(
Ahhh, last-minute meal out w/ coworkers...
/u/DinosaursAndStarStuf [5'3.5| 106 | 18.5| F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 16:33:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dnww9/ahhh_lastminute_meal_out_w_coworkers/
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I started smoking weed again because I missed it and because my fiance was worried about me - I got down to 103lbs which is around an 18.1 BMI. I got up to 20 BMI last month and felt super uncomfortable so I just cut out weed again this week. I'm already back at an 18.8 and finally feelin' groovy and like myself again after about 2 months of smoking+eating more than I wanted to in the evening.
So we had our staff meeting and there's a girl from corporate visiting and at like 3:30pm everyone decided we're going out for dinner at 7pm and she's paying - plus we're all leaving from work together. We're a small group - only 7 of us - and I really do like my coworkers. I'm so conflicted. I do want to go, and maybe I'll just have a salad and say I had a snack before dinner. I kinda wanna come up with an excuse and go home to eat my tiny portion of stir-fry leftovers w/ shiritaki rice too though!!
Fuuuuuck I had no time to prepare for this! Halp.
I start university in a week. I'm freaking the fuck out.
/u/bangsofsteel2 [5"3/BMI 19ish/ (made a new account)]
Created: Thu Sep 6 16:26:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dnuuc/i_start_university_in_a_week_im_freaking_the_fuck/
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1. I lost to 103lbs back in June and I *know* I've gained so fucking much since then I'm scared to weigh myself.
2. I've been binging for the past week and I'm super bloated.
3. The only thing I can think about is my ED.
4. My time table shows I only have lessons 2 days a week and I'm scared free time might be the literal death of me.
5. I have this drive to restrict hard whenever I have my own space, social life and responsibilities be damned.
I'm so out of my element. I literally have no clue how to handle everything right now.
[Rant/Rave] Embarrassed
/u/thingsarestranger [5ā2ā | CW: 125 | -35 | GW:95 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 16:08:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dnovy/embarrassed/
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So Iām honestly ashamed bc Iām the one who made the binge free September post but after school today I went home and b/p a shit ton of food. Ice cream, a brownie, a fuckton of leftover Chinese, and a slurpee. Went to the gym for 50 mins to try and make myself feel better but I just feel fat and gross. Howās everyone else doing?
Binge :(
/u/ViceIsNotNice
Created: Thu Sep 6 16:06:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dno21/binge/
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Saw that I had lost more weight than I was expecting since yesterday. Rationally, I knew it didnāt really mean anything. But I was so hungry, and I decided to have a piece of cheese. Five minutes later, 800 calories gone.
I feel so ashamed. My spouse is encouraging me to at least eat up to maintenance today. Probably because they think Iām going to fast for the next three days now. Thatās not entirely wrong...
So angry with myself.
[Rant/Rave] Ummm I just weighed in at 132.2
/u/not-creative-enough-
Created: Thu Sep 6 16:02:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dnmmj/ummm_i_just_weighed_in_at_1322/
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WOW!!! I mean Iām sure itās just a lot of water weight that I lost, but I havenāt been able to break the 140ās for awhile now. And Iāve binged quite a bit the past couple of days, but even when I did restrict and run I hadnāt lost nearly as much water weight. I was super scared to step on the scale lol Hopefully itāll stay on a downward trend and now that school has started itās easier to restrict!!
Btw, Iām 5ā5 and a bmi of 22.22 as of now!!!
[Discussion] Has anyone ever felt bad about relaxing all day?
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Thu Sep 6 15:57:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dnkwu/has_anyone_ever_felt_bad_about_relaxing_all_day/
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I know this is somewhat off-topic from ED things, but, it's been something on my mind.
I have school from Mondays through Thursdays, 7am to 5pm, I'm constantly going. Even after 5pm, I have homework, notes, studying, etc. (it never ends).
On the times, the little and big moments that I have, sometimes even days, I take time to relax. And by relax, I mean scroll through reddit, chill out on my bed, drink a nice cold coke zero, scroll through pinterest, and just veg out. Sometimes, this lasts for a couple hours then I start being productive again. But some days, I legit do this all day aside from making meals and what not. And, well, I can't help but feel somewhat bad about that?
Has anyone ever spent a whole day relaxing, not doing anything, and vegging out? Maybe even more? How do you feel about that?
Iām a 6ft tall and 140 pounds girl
/u/patjetski
Created: Thu Sep 6 15:54:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dnk3w/im_a_6ft_tall_and_140_pounds_girl/
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And I still feel fat.
Should I loss?
I Have Dentures now!
/u/Jessica_Briefly
Created: Thu Sep 6 15:42:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dnfwp/i_have_dentures_now/
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I'm 34 I been struggling with an ED of one or another since my teen years. Here I am back at it again. I have NEVER been the skinny girl. I was born to a young mother who just stuck a bottle/food in my mouth to keep me quite. Lowest size was 12 which I got down to after bulimia and anorexia and exercise. Couldn't get any lower ever :( . Gave up and binged myself up to 300+ I did this Twice. Now I am back down to 194.6 and hoping to get to a healthy weight at least. All of this made my teeth rot out of my skull and last year I got dentures. It was a bit to get used to but hey it ain't that bad... Anyway I just want to be healthy, eat healthier foods, and get down to size 11 ššš Hi Everyone!!!
[Rant/Rave] I begged my mother to hide the scale.
/u/misssarajones [5'2 | CW: 139 | HW: 175 | UGW: 110-115 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 15:32:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dncim/i_begged_my_mother_to_hide_the_scale/
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I begged her to hide the scale, for atleast a week. I've been driving myself nuts with my weightloss, and I even purged for the first time yesterday in my life to lose a pound.
​
Every morning.
Every evening.
Every night.
​
I would just weigh myself constantly. It was driving me nuts. The number was making me scared to eat. I'm sick of this!
I begged my mother to hide the scale.
/u/misssarajones [5'2 | CW: 139 | HW: 175 | UGW: 110-115 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 15:31:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dnc4n/i_begged_my_mother_to_hide_the_scale/
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I begged her to hide the scale, for atleast a week. I've been driving myself nuts with my weightloss, and I even purged for the first time yesterday in my life to lose a pound.
​
Every morning.
Every evening.
Every night.
​
I would just weigh myself constantly. It was driving me nuts. The number was making me scared to eat. I'm sick of this!
[Goal] Woooooo for the win! I hit my goal!
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 258 | Goal: 250 | 40.9 | 30 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 15:23:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dn9l4/woooooo_for_the_win_i_hit_my_goal/
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ok ok ok, it's not strictly my goal, I have another .8 lbs to go, but I'm at 250.8! I haven't been this low since I left college!
New goal: 225
I haven't been there since the beginning of college. I got this now, lessgo!
Just bad lately, so bad.
/u/Newbeginningtake2 [5'2" | 81 | 15.35 | 54lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Sep 6 15:22:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dn91l/just_bad_lately_so_bad/
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In the past four months I've gained 10 pounds. I'm at 92 as of this morning. B/p-ing has become my new cutting. Cutting does so much for me, feels when I don't feel anything, stops the feelings when they are too much, etc etc etc and now I feel like since almost every cut of my past few times have been so major and requiring medical attention, stitches, I'm too afraid to cut. Even though I miss it. I drank heavily for 3 months. I'm 3 days sober and not planning on drinking again, ever. Not worth it. My depression is at an all time high making me choose 12 hours of sleep a day rather than my 10 mile runs. Everything feels like it has fallen to shit. I've gotten my period three months in a row after 3 years of not having one for crying out loud. I know the weight gain is from the bing in ng and purging. But every morning I step on my Aria and see both my weight AND BF% going up and I want to absolutely die. However, I want to leave a 75 lb corpse, so I cant even fucking kill myself yet! Divorce sucks, it has been almost 4 years and it still hurts, I am only workingb2 days a week, have 2 classes, and I'm a 35 year old, single mom with primary custody of an amazing girl who asks, does this swimsuit make me look fat? Fuck. I'm a horrible role model. I dont know where to turn. Meds and therapy aren't effective anymore and I am at my wits end. I'm too embarrassed of my gain to even update my flair. Sorry. I dont know where else to vent this, but at least it is out now. How dangerous or expensive are these EC stacks I hear about? Can they curb sweets cravings that lead me to binging?! Is anyone out there? š
[Rant/Rave] Relapsed into restrictive yesterday, binging today. Kill. Me.
/u/WaffleWolf14 [5ā7ā | CW: 113.8 | BMI: 17.7 | F | GW:100 |]
Created: Thu Sep 6 15:19:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dn817/relapsed_into_restrictive_yesterday_binging_today/
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So yesterday I started restricting again, and fasted for most of the day until I got home. Did okay.
Then I got my first period in 3 or so months š
Cue binging on fruit gummies and chips while Iām at home sick, already eating three meals a day because my parents are home and we eat meals together. I donāt even wanna know how many calories Iāve had, and a part of me doesnāt even wanna give a shit.
And Iām bloated so I feel pregnant already, which doesnāt help... I would have purged this by now but my parents are home and I canāt, uGHHhhhHh.
Itās always really bad the first day and then usually goes away, so hopefully by tomorrow the restriction will continue as scheduled. Wish me luck while I go eat some cookies because Iām a fatass! š
So today I was invited on a date for the first time in my life
/u/burn_herostratus
Created: Thu Sep 6 15:10:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dn4to/so_today_i_was_invited_on_a_date_for_the_first/
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I've always been fat and never was taken out before. What am I worrying of?
That man? Nah, son, he's kinda nice but I'm just mildly interested, not infatuated. So if it doesn't work out no hard feelings for me.
My personallity? Would he like me? Ha! I know I'm fucked up beyond repaire so I'm just tracking time before he runs away screaming.
My body? Well, it's a shit. You can't be 275 lbs and then go to 150 lbs without a trace. The poor man gonna take it as it is or leave me be but I'm not gonna freak out whatever.
No, the only thing that's bothering me is what we gonna at least drink some wine and I am on my fucking week-long fast. Not sure my 'first ever' date is worth breaking it.
Yep, I am that fucked up.
restricting makes me feel like i have my shit together
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | relapse| gw: 97 | 23f]
Created: Thu Sep 6 15:09:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dn4jm/restricting_makes_me_feel_like_i_have_my_shit/
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me when not restricting: procrastinating everything, stressed out, spends too much energy on food guilt, generally feels lazy and shitty
me while restricting: Extremely Productive, running a million errands, planning lowcal recipes and focusing on dressing well, thriving, wayyyyy over-caffeinated, literally unstoppable
lmfao anyone else?!
Fasting for a 5 days
/u/frozensun202
Created: Thu Sep 6 14:58:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dn0hc/fasting_for_a_5_days/
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Gonna do my first fast, aiming for 5 days... Anyone got any tips or advice to help me get through it?
[Other] my anatomy teacher basically gave me tips on how to restrict better
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5ā8ā| CW: 249| BMI: š|20F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 14:45:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dmw0z/my_anatomy_teacher_basically_gave_me_tips_on_how/
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she told us about the whole myth of starvation mode, and stuff like that, but she then talked about dieting. and she told us that even if we eat nothing, the body will function normally, if not better, if you provide it with a bunch of water and vitamins and electrolytes. i immediately went to cvs and picked up a bunch of different vitamins and zero cal gatorade.
she also said that very thin women have a hard time getting pregnant which is great for me because i wanna look like a skeleton and i never want kids!!
My 7 year old tells me sheās sick...
/u/playboyhunties
Created: Thu Sep 6 14:38:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dmtb5/my_7_year_old_tells_me_shes_sick/
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And as soon as she started throwing up trust and believe I kissed my baby right on the mouth. Give me that flu, baby girl. Why am I like this?! š
[Discussion] I am going to attempt this for my October month cover page. Anyone else here into bullet journalling/tracking your progress offline?
/u/fluobun [183cm | 31.05 | 23F | BED]
Created: Thu Sep 6 14:11:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dmjkq/i_am_going_to_attempt_this_for_my_october_month/
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https://i.redd.it/97ftdr6g8dk01.jpg
[Discussion] DAE doubt their logged food, even when they know they've not eaten more?
/u/BunnyAwesome [5'7"| F | CW 120 | GW 110]
Created: Thu Sep 6 13:53:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dmd3u/dae_doubt_their_logged_food_even_when_they_know/
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Basically title. I've found the last couple of weeks I've been somewhat obsessively looking at MFP and doubting the number I see... even though I know for a fact I've not eaten any more or less and i feel like I must have eaten twice or more what's in the app? It's the weirdest thing and i wonder whether anyone else gets it or if I'm actually going loony.
Back on my bullshit after a year long binge
/u/back-on-mybullshit
Created: Thu Sep 6 13:53:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dmcyp/back_on_my_bullshit_after_a_year_long_binge/
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Just needed to make a throwaway to vent. Lost 20 pounds in a couple months last summer after relapsing, then developed an alcohol problem. I binge eat when I drink. I'm officially the fattest I've ever been even though my weight has been up and down for like 8 years. Officially obese now. I literally hate my body and since I gained so much weight so fast (like 50 pounds in a few months) I now have stretch marks everywhere - stomach, thighs, arms, even my calves.
Anyway I'm back on my bullshit now, I'm quitting drinking and I bought my first pack of Bronkaid in like a year. Only thing that sucks is I'm going to have to purge since I moved back home and can't just fast like I could when I lived alone - I have to at least eat one normal-ish meal a day.
I'm just so disgusted with myself and how I let myself get this way. I was once able to get down to 115 with restriction alone and that was like 4 years ago. I've refused to buy new clothes since like 30 pounds ago and so I just look like a stuffed sausage hoping it shames me into losing weight faster.
[Rant/Rave] My baggy sweater betrayed me
/u/sorryihaveaboyfriend [5'6" | 119 | 19.2 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 13:48:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dmb6c/my_baggy_sweater_betrayed_me/
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I'm having so many mixed feelings right now omg
Okay, so even though it's still really hot where I live, it's freezing in the morning and I work at 6am so I dress rather warm. Today I was wearing a baggy, oversized cardigan and kinda feeling myself tbh but then THIS happened and I wanna cry lmao
I get off work and stop by the mall really quickly because I had a 20 off of 50 rewards card for Victoria's Secret and I'm a slut for coupons. I was just browsing the underwear when the sales associate greets me and tells me about a sale on sports bras and I'm like oh hey I actually need one so we walk over to the display and she's telling me about the styles and just getting a feel for what I'm looking for. I let her know my size (32D), and that I prefer a good amount of support because I'm a runner (an enormous exaggeration - I run a ten minute mile on a good day and wheeze all the while buuuut I digress).
Anyway, she ends up showing me one I really like and I immediately grab a small because like that's my size but noooo this girl looks me up and down and then suggests a medium "just in case".
š
I'm a pathetically polite person so I just smiled and took both to the fitting room and GUESS WHAT
THE SMALL WAS TOO BIG
I NEEDED AN XS
But apparently I look much bigger than I am so fuck me lol
Like she was unbelievably nice and professional and whatnot but the fact that she just assumed I was a bigger size than I am totally killed me and I just needed to rant
But hey, it's motivation to fast for the rest of the day so yay
[Discussion] Anyone else feel guilty after eating?
/u/ohdarlingyourefucked
Created: Thu Sep 6 13:32:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dm59b/anyone_else_feel_guilty_after_eating/
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Like it doesnāt matter what it is..it could be a couple hard candies or even a glass of water and I feel guilty. I had a roll with some peanut butter..first think I had all day aside from a coke zero (itās 3:30pm) and I feel so damn guilty about it. Ugh.
[Other] Fucking ayy lmao
/u/Grellous8 [5'6.5" | Fatkunt (CW: ~150lbs.) | LW (110lbs.) | 16M]
Created: Thu Sep 6 13:24:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dm2ju/fucking_ayy_lmao/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9dm1ue/as_a_kid_you_love_to_eat_junk_food_and_not_care/
[Discussion] DAE have really bitchy weight-related thoughts?
/u/doses_and_neuroses
Created: Thu Sep 6 13:21:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dm1f4/dae_have_really_bitchy_weightrelated_thoughts/
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Ever since I fully descended into bulimia/madness like a year and a half ago I have such judgmental and awful thoughts when I see overweight women. I would never, ever want to make anyone feel bad or say any of those thoughts out loud, but itās like an automatic response to seeing fat women these days. Like there are a lot of bigger girls in one of my classes and I find myself just automatically judging them when they bring frapps and snacks to class or wear revealing outfits Iām too chicken shit to wear in public. Theyāre so nice and, again, I would never want to make them feel bad, but itās like an automatic response.
I think itās because when I see an overweight woman, I project my own self hatred into them. Like they represent some of the things I dislike the most about myself, i.e. binging, having no self control, et cetera. Even saying that sounds so awful. Maybe Iām just a bit of a cunt :(
[Help] heart palpitations?
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | god help me | M]
Created: Thu Sep 6 13:11:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dlxz1/heart_palpitations/
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My heart will beat more heavily than normal ā enough for me to feel it ā for a while sometimes, not just after exercise but after a walk home from class or whatever. Is this worth getting checked, or ...? I stopped using EC stacks 4 months ago but I still vape.
šYoušaren'tšhungryšuntilšyoušarešeatingšvicariouslyšthroughšMukbangsš
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9" | CW Fat | GW 115 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 13:06:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dlw3e/youarenthungryuntilyouareeatingvicariouslythroughm/
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Shit post
[Other] Imposter syndrome/ feeling 'normal'
/u/Xelaalba [165cm | CW52.4kg | 19.2 | GW 50kg | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 13:00:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dltue/imposter_syndrome_feeling_normal/
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Does anyone else go through phases of just not giving a shit and eating almost normally?? ? Like not counting cals, eating without guilt, not body checking, or not even looking at thinspo or anything. If I told my friend I was feeling like this she'd be ecstatic, and would tell me she's proud of me for doing so well, for recovering or whatever. But I don't want to recover. Not yet. So I feel so fucking guilty for even feeling okay because it means that I'm probably gaining since I'm not counting my cals, or working out at 2am lol.
Then coming on this sub and seeing you guys fasting and shit, while I'm sitting here thinking about having cookies after dinner, I don't feel 'sick'. It's like it comes in cycles - when I'm not feeling guilty about eating, I feel guilty about.. NOT feeling guilty. what the fuck.
But the next day I'll wake up and sob over how fat I look and not leave the house that day, or straight up cry when thinspo comes up on insta (does that ever happen to anyone else?? just crying because their bones show and yours don't??). And it goes back to normal and ED brain wakes up again and makes me care about my body and hate myself again.
It's just frustrating having your ED be a source of some fucked up type of validation and then doubting if this huge part of your life is REAL whenever you feel okay. It's like doubting a part of your identity every other day.
Like fuck I'd love to someday get over this and feel good about myself at a healthy weight but I'm not ready for that yet, I'm quite not ready to erase that part of me so I'll continue to resent myself for feeling normal, yeee hawwww
[Rant/Rave] DAE try to trigger themselves into a previous fucked up time in their life where restriction was so easy?
/u/rotting_the_crown
Created: Thu Sep 6 12:38:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dlmbm/dae_try_to_trigger_themselves_into_a_previous/
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Or is it just me š
A long time ago in a city far away (hehe) I was super fucked up mentally. Iām moderately better (read: heavily medicated) now, but at the time, I was having an extreme mixed episode of mania and depression. I was out of mind. No meds would work, I was planning murder/suicide type of stuff, basically it was all bad.
BUT, the only good thing was that I was able to restrict so easily! I lost so much weight in such a short amount of time, and felt so wonderful and small (looking at pics, I could have lost another 10 lb at least š).
But now, all I do is binge, binge, binge no matter what, got goodies on my mind I can never get enough! (š¤)
Iām trying to trigger myself back into that mind frame, which is horrible. All I can think of right now is playing the same music that I did back then, but itās not helping. Sigh. Can anyone relate?
Sorry about the emojis š if you canāt laugh then you cry š
[Rant/Rave] Friends with problems
/u/songfireleaf [5'8 | CW 159 | BMI 23.91 | GW 100| he/him]
Created: Thu Sep 6 12:26:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dli3c/friends_with_problems/
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Just a bit of a... kinda happy but also awful thing? I think this counts as a rave. We're gonna go with that.
My best friend's sister (who is also a coworker of mine) has an eating disorder, and we've talked about our issues a little in the past. But today we're just texting back and forth about our issues and general ED problems, complaints, etc, and it feels so good.
Like, you can't just talk to a person without an ED about fasts or calorie obsession or binges or safe foods without feeling a little awkward, and they always get (validly) concerned. And personally, the concern just eggs on any issues I'm having, because I feel like I'm "not sick enough" for them to be concerned, so then I feel like I have to be "worse." It feels amazing to be able to just casually talk and complain with a friend about our food issues. Especially since my hardcore restricting urges (which calmed down a little in July) have decided to punch me in the face again. Eating disorders are so, so isolating and being able to relate to someone I know about this stuff is incredible.
It's awful that she's dealing with this too, and I desperately wish she didn't have these problems. But I can't make her magically recover, just like she can't make me. In the meantime, it's nice not to be so alone while struggling.
[Discussion] Watching choices
/u/gracgrac
Created: Thu Sep 6 12:25:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dlhpn/watching_choices/
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When I'm restricting, I catch myself watching shows like Supersize vs Superskinny, Secret Eaters and such, but after binging I always feel like watching teen pregnancy related videos.
I think it's partially because I want to make myself feel better, as in"look it could be worse, at least you're not pregnant". Also, binges obviously make my belly big and bloated so if the 'thank god ur not pregnant' thing doesn't work, I start pretending I AM pregnant and can totally relate to teen moms. The only difference is that they deliver their babies within 9 months while my (food) baby arrives a day or two (depends if there's sauerkraut in the house or not) later.
How do your watching choices differ from restricting and binging or anything in between?
(P.S. I do not mean to disrespect or mock teen mothers with this, you guys are incredibly strong and brave. I can only wish to have the same traits as you.)
[Rant/Rave] My roommate keeps eating my food!!! Aaaaarghhhh
/u/kleinecapricorn
Created: Thu Sep 6 12:24:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dlh4d/my_roommate_keeps_eating_my_food_aaaaarghhhh/
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The title says it all! I live with a girl who is 6 feet tall and runs at least an hour a day... so she eats like a monster. When we first moved in together, we agreed to split groceries. I have been regretting that decision for over a year now and Iām at my breaking point. Youād think having her eat all the food would be comforting bc it means I donāt have to. But instead, it means weāre splitting grocery bills and she eats three times as much as I do and I have no control over how much food I have to chose from or how long I can make it last.
Iām at my wits end!!! I used my therapist as an excuse to get her to buy her own groceries the past week, but seeing how much and how fast she eats is so triggering and infuriating. I guess Iām probably jealous.
What do I do? Does anyone have advice for successfully coexisting with a roommate like this? I swear to god she eats like 3000 calories a day and is underweight from running so much...
every time I look at her Iām pissed. :,( maybe Iām meant to be alone.
[Rant/Rave] This is the worst thought I have ever had
/u/ThrowPotential [5'6 | CW: 170lbs | BMI: 27 | -7lbs | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 12:06:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dla9w/this_is_the_worst_thought_i_have_ever_had/
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I teach in school, and have a class for the first time this year. There's one child who has a terrible home life and has 2 meals a day provided for her by the school. This means she probably hasn't eaten well or food of enough quality for her development over the summer break.
And yet, my stupid brain wants me to be as thin as she is. It's horrible. I'm an awful person. I can't believe my head has had this thought. Certifiable trash human and idk what to do with my brain.
Feeling like a complete impostor
/u/ladeda1312
Created: Thu Sep 6 11:40:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dl0fv/feeling_like_a_complete_impostor/
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I feel like a complete impostor as of lately. I don't feel tiny at all even though people around me keep telling me so. I can still see all the fat on my body and just feel it weighing me down. I was called small by a friend because he thought I was making a negative comment about my body even though it wasn't about that. That took me by surprise because I don't see myself as small at all. My grandma told me that I look tiny like my mom, and while it made me super happy to hear, it still didn't register in my mind. What are all these people seeing?? I can still grab so much fat from my legs, belly, and arms. I still have about 15 pounds that I want to lose. I feel like I take up so much space and I just want to hide my body behind my clothes, so that no one can see what my form really looks like.
​
I went shopping for a new pair of work pants yesterday and I was really nervous. This was the first time I had been shopping in months, so I had do idea what my size would be. I went to different stores and tried on different pants....each store had me in a size 0. It made me kind of upset?? Like I shouldn't be fitting into that size based on how I look?? And then thinking about vanity sizing. And I wonder if other people look at me and think that I'm not actually that size or that I'm really not tiny at all. I feel stocky and pudgy. My measurements from the last time I took them are: 35-25-35, but then I wonder if I'm even measuring correctly or maybe my tape measure is off. I still want my waist to get down another 2-3 inches and I think that's completely possibly considering how much fat I can grab still. But then I'm worried that even if I get down to where I want to be....what if I still don't look small and dainty??
​
What are your experiences for not feeling like your size? How do you feel when other people perceive you as something different than how you perceive yourself?
[Other] I have bronchitis for the 3rd time this year
/u/raspberryfleur [5'4 | 102 | 17.5 | -75 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 11:28:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dkvvn/i_have_bronchitis_for_the_3rd_time_this_year/
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I got it for 2 weeks in January.
2 weeks in March.
And now itās September, and Iāve had this cough for a week. I hate bronchitis so much. I canāt sleep on my back, or else I get coughing spasms and stop breathing. Itās the worst.
First two times I got it, I was 115lb. Now Iām 105lb.
I wonder how long this thing will stay. After my work saw me have a coughing spasm, I got pressured to go to the doctors.
They gave me an inhaler and asked me ādo you eat enough? We need to take your weight.ā I think they low key want me to gain.
:/ yet I donāt want to gain. No advice please, I just need this off my conscience.
[Rant/Rave] I want this week to end and my self control to come back ugh
/u/twa1238 [F25| 158cm | CW š |]
Created: Thu Sep 6 11:23:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dku3a/i_want_this_week_to_end_and_my_self_control_to/
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Warning this is just me rambling
Iāve been restricting for a while now,fasting on the weekends, I didnāt crave anything, I had energy, all was well. Monday I felt like binging, but I didnāt. Ate 900 cal though (usually around 600?), then Tuesday I fucking ate 1000 because I thought it might prevent binging and I really really wanted to binge that day. Felt happy and full after that and thought Iād forgive myself and just restrict/fast the next days. Wednesday my friends made me eat a dish while staring at me and when I got home I was so angry and frustrated that I just continued to eat. 1100 calories. I drowned a pack of lax,was too late anyway but at least I didnāt feel it inside me anymore and thought that was a great start to fast again. While Iām siting there crying because it hurts so bad MY FUCKING BODY GETS HUNGRY AGAIN????? WTF???So I manage to ignore it because the pain is real bad and go to bed. Wake up at night, lax still kicking in. Morning still terrible.
My body still demands food. Ate 1450 calories. 1.4.5.0. all in chocolate and fries. Didnāt do anything else. Just ate and felt miserable and ate more. I have my whole kitchen packed with snacks and food because usually Iām really good when Iām restricting and now I canāt stop about anything else.
I Donāt have any laxatives at home anymore which sucks but maybe thatās good for my stomach...look at me trying to be positive.
I always measure myself on fridays so Iām pretty afraid of tomorrow. I lost weight this week though wich angers me even more because Iām so close to my goal and I fuck it up every time. Every time Iām close I start to binge again.
I feel like I gained at least a kilo today fuck my life
[Other] Binge + awkward compliment = me
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Thu Sep 6 11:03:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dkmxw/binge_awkward_compliment_me/
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So i had a total of 4 slices of pizza + 1 pizza induced panic attack last night.
Woke up this morning feeling disgusting but of course THATS when my mom says "your so skinny skinny".
​
She has NEVER complimented my weight. Shes only ever made fun of me for being overweight...since i was 6.
im not sure why i feel off about everything :)
[Rant/Rave] Moving out
/u/gierschotel [Height: 172 | CW: 67 | BMI: 22.5 | GW: 57 | ]
Created: Thu Sep 6 11:01:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dklsd/moving_out/
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I recently moved out and I now live in a house with 4 others. I feel too depressed to properly cook or even talk to them while I'm cooking. Every time I get home I just get a sense of purposelessness and I don't want to do anything. I'm afraid they will notice my eating habits, and I think it's really getting in the way of my recovery. Having the ability to control all the food that enters my body is not giving me freedom it's trapping me.
Sorry for this rant I just needed to vent it somewhere and you are the only ones who would understand <3
my boyfriend supports my ED
/u/thindreaming [5'9 | 158.6lb | 25f]
Created: Thu Sep 6 10:57:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dkka3/my_boyfriend_supports_my_ed/
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When we first started dating, I told my bf that I had struggled with bulimia in the past and had some serious body image issues. He was supportive at first about helping me avoid purging, but then it kind of... changed?
We've been dating for a year and a bit now and sometimes after a big meal I'll say that I feel sick and he'll suggest throwing up cause it will make me feel better. Or when I downloaded the Zero app I'll talk to him about fasts that I want to do and he'll suggest going on longer ones, even joining in on them with me.
Now he definitely doesn't have an ED but he wants to lose 5-10 lbs, so I think he may be encouraging this behavior to be supportive and not in a malicious way at all. But I think I weirdly like it - today I said I wasn't going to eat until I had accomplished X and Y tasks, and he replied "sounds perfect!" and said I had been looking skinnier lately.
Idk I've never been able to restrict/fast, I just b/p and work out like crazy but I think having this support may be what I need to finally get some control on my eating.
Side note: I haven't purged in 11 days and I've lost 5lbs even though I've been eating way more than I should sooo I'm hoping to finally get off the b/p train and get on the restricting wagon!!!
Stomach issues post recovery
/u/HellloHannah
Created: Thu Sep 6 10:52:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dkis7/stomach_issues_post_recovery/
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They don't tell you, or at least I was never told, that I would likely deal with stomach issues for a long time after I recovered from anorexia. It's been about 3 years since I "got better" and by that i mean stoped restricting, but I've only just started to link my intestinal problems with my ED. I never had intestinal issues before I was anorexic. I ate whatever and didn't have any problems. Now, I can't eat cabbage, garlic, onions, I'm sure some other things. But I didn't really put two and two together until recently. In doing some research, it seems it might be a fructose malabsorption. Since cutting out foods high in fructose, I have not had any stomach issues. It's been 3 days. I'm really hoping this trend continues because my stomach problems have been keeping me from living a happy life, not feeling good, not able to work out regularly, etc. Anyone else have intestinal problems after they recovered? If so, what were your symptoms and what foods did you notice you could not tolerate?
[Help] Should I get the pound cake?
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Thu Sep 6 10:50:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dkhzz/should_i_get_the_pound_cake/
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Iāve been craving Starbucks lemon pound cake. Itās 400 calories and Iām already at 250 for the day. My fear is that Iāll end up bingeing in it the longer I gonwith out it. But I want to stay strong and functio only off breakfast.
[Help] What do I do?
/u/nihilistatari [5'2 | Too much | 21 | Not enough | Male]
Created: Thu Sep 6 10:40:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dke7k/what_do_i_do/
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Iāve been binging everyday for a little over a month. I will be able to get through with no breakfast, but then I have to go to hell on earth priso- I mean high school, and my complete and utter hatred of this horrible place just inspires me to stop caring about not eating, so I binge at lunch. However, sometimes I can get through both! HOWEVER AGAIN, I DO THAY, THEN I GO HOME AND EAT 2k CALORIES IN ONE SITTING EITHERWAY.
Iām serious. I am so damn unhappy at my current weight and I just need to get back into restricting. Please help me. I need serious advice.
I've stopped weighing myself.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone [Too Short | Too Fat | Too Old | Duderino]
Created: Thu Sep 6 10:39:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dkdyd/ive_stopped_weighing_myself/
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I can't deal with the emotional roller coaster that is stepping on the scale in the morning. I cannot keep living a life where my entire day is informed by the number that comes up on the scale. I can't do it anymore, and so I've stopped.
[Rant/Rave] I can't see a future without my ed
/u/wannathrowyouaway
Created: Thu Sep 6 10:37:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dkdfj/i_cant_see_a_future_without_my_ed/
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I know the title sounds so bad. I should want to recover, right? But I don't. I honestly see myself living a life that accommodates my eating disorder, if that makes sense.
I'm going to live alone. A clean and neat apartment. I'll obsessively clean every day. No food in the pastries. Maybe some veggies and fruit in the fridge, and obviously diet coke, but nothing more. I won't have any temptation around. Breakfast will be black coffee, lunch maybe sushi but not enough to go over 800 calories, dinner it's black coffee again. I can always have diet coke if I get hungry. And I'll have a personal "gym" with a yoga mat, dumbells, a kettlebell and maybe some cardio machine if I can afford it. I'll work a job that I like and that keeps me away from food, but gives me enough free time to exercise. I won't spend unnecessary money on food, because the only meal I'll eat is lunch. And nobody can stop me.
This is my dream life. I know it's fucked up. But maybe I won't feel so damn empty without him, if I have this life that I imagine? Because I'll have something else to put all my energy into, that I won't even think about him.
[Rant/Rave] ate a normal meal but my brainās convinced it was a binge
/u/choustrings [5ā10 | cw: 155 | 22.2 | -30 | f]
Created: Thu Sep 6 10:31:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dkb3j/ate_a_normal_meal_but_my_brains_convinced_it_was/
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i cooked dinner for my boyfriend and our friend and initially had plans not to eat but took a xanax and decided to let go. realistically, it was a normal meal. a bit of pasta and chicken. some wine, a couple of cookies for dessert. i feel like shit now and donāt even want to calculate calories. on top of this i had the worst dreams of my life including my abusive ex, my deceased alcoholic father, my boyfriends ex gf who plagued my every day thoughts. i woke up panicking and crying multiple times and now i donāt want to eat ever again even though that feels like it wonāt repair the damage done.
this is truly the worst iāve felt in a long while
Has anyone ever just snacked on salsa?
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Thu Sep 6 10:21:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dk7ok/has_anyone_ever_just_snacked_on_salsa/
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I know that's kind of a weird and random question, but, it's low calorie and tasty, so, i'm curious. Anyone?
[Help] Been overeating for two weeks help me stop please. How to start restricting?
/u/im_an_actual_hippie [5'1 | 123 lbs | 23 .2 | 17 lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Sep 6 10:15:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dk5pq/been_overeating_for_two_weeks_help_me_stop_please/
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Just a reminder to take calcium!
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 10:09:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dk3st/just_a_reminder_to_take_calcium/
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Osteoporosis is real guys (especially if you take certain alternate birth controls like me) Anyone know low cal foods that have calcium? I have suppliments too but I don't always remember to take them.
[Discussion] favorite fall coffee/other drink order?
/u/3ghostly [5ā3 | CW: 118 | GW: 110 ]
Created: Thu Sep 6 10:02:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dk19w/favorite_fall_coffeeother_drink_order/
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i was wondering what everyoneās favorite drinks are this time of year!
i personally love dirty chai lattes. got ofc because iām cold all the time. theyāre the perfect mix of espresso (blonde for me, because iām a weenie) and the spiciness of the chai. its hard to make them low cal because i NEED the milk in it. thatās what makes it so delicious, u know?
i absolutely adore fall and iām SO excited that itās coming around. granted, itās still getting to be 90 degrees where i live, but STILL.
off note: i wish there was a drive through soup place. i want to drink my soup out of a to-go cup. soup would definitely be my favorite fall drink if that was an actual thing where i am.
when you love skin care but have an ED at the same time
/u/cursedconcubine
Created: Thu Sep 6 09:00:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9djfyg/when_you_love_skin_care_but_have_an_ed_at_the/
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https://i.redd.it/mrew92szqmk11.jpg
[Help] Resist snacking?
/u/Hellah8ed [5'11 | 17.7| 127lbs | M]
Created: Thu Sep 6 08:56:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9djeuq/resist_snacking/
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How do you guys resist snacking? About 2 years ago I was thin and once I got in a relationship, I started eating and snacking a lot with my SO and got chubby. Now I'm single again but the eating habits won't go away. Every time I think of crispy chips and pizza and soda, I try to have a cigarette instead or get on the weight and remind myself of how fat I am, but it has the opposite effect and I start to pity eat instead.. it gets worse in the evening because I play computer games as a hobby and I automatically start snacking at that point... so any tips on how to resist eating when I'm bored/depressed or just hungry? :<
[Help] In horrendous pain what do I do
/u/SoylentGAhhItsPpl [š¤5'2" CW:106 BMI:19.5 UGW:99š¤]
Created: Thu Sep 6 08:53:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9djdrd/in_horrendous_pain_what_do_i_do/
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Hoh boy so I discovered sugar free butter candy. I have also discovered it does NOT go well with chugging diet coke. My stomach really hurts, it honestly reminds me of when I had kidney stones it hurts so bad. Also my throat feels like it's burning and I don't know wtf is going on. Literally lying in bed and howling in pain
​
​
Anyone else been here??? What can I do (if anything) to alleviate the pain? Should I try purging or drinking water or should it get better soon? Hope this doesn't break any rules :(
Would Anyone Be Interested?
/u/MarieAmber
Created: Thu Sep 6 08:46:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9djbap/would_anyone_be_interested/
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Iām thinking about making a discord server for us. I know about Peach, but it doesnāt feel like enough. It doesnāt feel like Iām able to connect with anyone. Maybe because discord feels more accessible to me than Peach. So if youāre content with Peach then forget it. Iām fine with that, but Iām planning on making a discord server with different chats for difference reasons like a venting corner, memes, general, and any other that people may suggest. And of course corners for those with the different types of disorders. If no oneās interested thatās fine. Iāll just delete this, but if so then leave a comment or pm me. If enough people are interested then I will make it.
[Discussion] DAE experience a sudden decrease in caffeine tolerance?
/u/eloana12
Created: Thu Sep 6 08:30:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dj5x4/dae_experience_a_sudden_decrease_in_caffeine/
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The first thing that goes down my throat every morning (that isnāt water) is coffee. During lunch Iāll usually grab another. Today, whilst working, about half an hour after my coffee lunch, I felt the caffeine kick me way too hard. Had trouble concentrating, was really fidgety, basically felt like I drank too much coffee even tho it was the same amount as always. I did go over my calories the day before and the day before that, so today I was fasting to counteract that. But this has never happened before despite fasting while drinking that bitter bean from the gods.
Plateauing
/u/xoidontgiveashit
Created: Thu Sep 6 08:29:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dj5im/plateauing/
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I've had a plateau of about 49kg for almost two weeks now, despite being on the 2468 diet (the 8 boosting metabolism while 2 obv restricts you know the story) for 10 days now. I thought it could be water weight so I did literally everything Google said to get back on track if it was that, but nope. It's super depressing because I'm super close to my current goal weight (45). The only thing I hadn't tried yet was upping my calorie intake to my TDEE then going back to restricting. I don't think I'd reach my TDEE easily since I have a naturally low appetite and not even my binges exceed 1,000cal. I'm just going for an intake of 1,000 today, but I'm seriously worried it's just gonna let me gain. If this doesn't work I'm going back to fasting, since that usually worked even (though it usually led to binging...)
[Tip] PSA these Walmart mushrooms are 25 cals and 3g protein for a whole little can! š
/u/PsychadelicSpaceCat [65"| 122lb | BMI 20 | GW1: 119lb | 24F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 08:21:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dj2se/psa_these_walmart_mushrooms_are_25_cals_and_3g/
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https://i.redd.it/w23h0q9snmk11.jpg
[Discussion] Dae lose weight in a series of plateaus and wooshes?
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 149 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -12| f21]
Created: Thu Sep 6 08:18:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dj1oa/dae_lose_weight_in_a_series_of_plateaus_and/
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I'm starting to learn that I tend to hang around one number for 5-10 days then suddenly drop a pound or three over a couple days, Then repeat. It's very inconsistent but I end up losing the same or more than I'm supposed to all together.
Which you'd think at this point I'd realise that I don't make much progress day to day so I need to stop weighing everyday and getting frustrated over the same thing that's happened 4 times before haha.
Just ran my hand through my hair and a bunch of hair came out
/u/starvy_punk
Created: Thu Sep 6 08:09:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9diy6x/just_ran_my_hand_through_my_hair_and_a_bunch_of/
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Comung out of work, and on...well tbh a pretty long restriction run. Ive lost track. I ran my hand through my hair when i got out and a clump of hair came with. Idk what to think. Kinda nervous. Kinda just bummed knowing im orobabky just doing this to myself and its not just a product of my haircare routine. š
[Rant/Rave] Todayās been great but really bad in terms of ED shit
/u/blmatsuu [5'2 | 100 | 18.3 | -51 | FTM]
Created: Thu Sep 6 08:00:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9div0t/todays_been_great_but_really_bad_in_terms_of_ed/
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I hit 99lbs this morning!!!! Thatās been a goal for ages, but then I had therapy and holy shit my therapist wasnāt happy when she weighed me, apparently because I keep losing weight she said I need to eat more and have āsome mashed potatoes with butter and a milkshakeā like how the fuck are two massive fear foods gonna cure my ED? To be fair after that she said itād be fine if I just had more of my safe foods but fuckkkk. Also she told my parents to sneak butter into my food so looks like Iām never trusting them make me anything again :ā)
Plus on the way back my parents got fucking McDonaldās and I had to get something so I had a plain grilled chicken wrap (āhealthiestā thing on the menuā) and haha I want to die, I feel like Iāve just fucked all my progress up and now Iām going to have to waterload and start trying to cheat the scales because I need to keep losing weight, Iām just in the double digits now and I need to keep going ://
[Help] Mom hid my scale.
/u/Heartfeltregret [5ā4| CW:104| BMI:17.85| SW:121 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 07:52:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9disel/mom_hid_my_scale/
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Or got rid of it. She knows I have āweird food habitsā and ābody image issuesā but isnāt aware of the full extent. I think sheās been getting more and concerned about me as Iāve dropped pounds. I was going to weigh myself yesterday morning but low and behold it was gone. I know that itās probably for the best and I should be grateful sheās saving me from myself... but tbh now Iām just going to buy a new one in secret and hide it in my room.
[Rant/Rave] Mom found trash from binge food
/u/narkisseh
Created: Thu Sep 6 07:50:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dirto/mom_found_trash_from_binge_food/
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My mom found two bags full of empty binge food wrappers/containers/etc in my closet and she just yelled at me why I had all that trash and why I didnāt throw it away and shit like that and I didnāt really answer bc honestly what was I supposed to say. I just feel so weird rn because my family doesntāt even suspect that my eating is disordered I think and now she found all that garbage and of course told my sister and dad like???? Fuckkk
Hahahaha! I should be a beautiful instagram model. Thinspo or what?
/u/cherryxnut
Created: Thu Sep 6 07:35:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dimze/hahahaha_i_should_be_a_beautiful_instagram_model/
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https://i.imgur.com/eH75WuW.jpg
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] Went to buy some soy sauce today and I am confused
/u/LateAsparagus [24F | BMI 24.5 -> 20.3 -> 22.7 | queen of weight fluctuation]
Created: Thu Sep 6 07:21:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9diig3/rantrave_went_to_buy_some_soy_sauce_today_and_i/
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Man. What the hell. Went trough all the bottles the store had, and they were all similar stuff in similar bottles, but some were 24 calories per 100ml, some 77, and the highest I saw was 117. There was nothing to mark that they were any different from one another, none of them was labeled to be "low" in anything or "free" from anything, and (apart from maybe the preservatives, I wasn't about to start comparing all the different e-codes) they all had the same ingredients.
Anyway, let this be example #/3747 why you should always read the label.
[Rant/Rave] My brain says yes by my body says no
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" | CW 119| GW 115 | UGW 110 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 07:21:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9diidk/my_brain_says_yes_by_my_body_says_no/
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I wanna lose weight, but my body doesnāt. Iāve stalled at 119 and it sucks cuz i need to lose 14 pounds in like 2 months. Why body, why must you spite me. Just let me get to my goal weight.
[Tip] Sources for progress pictures
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 96.8 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 70 š smallest_madeline]
Created: Thu Sep 6 07:19:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dihl8/sources_for_progress_pictures/
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I love seeing progress pictures and before/after pictures of weight loss. I scour the subreddit called progress pics but most of those peopleās after pics are bigger than Iāve ever been. Itās hard to find good ones on Instagram too because most of those show thicc people. I just want to be triggered! Lol! What do you guys search or how do you find good progress pictures? Especially people going from normal weights to underweight (or close to it)?
Starting Over
/u/Renegade_always_was [5'6 | cw 129 | gw 115 | 20.8 | 31 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 07:11:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9diexk/starting_over/
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My personal life got really happy really fast; i have an amazing girlfriend who means the world from me and im about to graduate college. But i have found that i do this thing where when i get into a new relationship i put on weight, even if it is only 5 pounds, and then when i notice it i break down, thats where i am now. My girlfriend is tiny with a crazy fast metabolism and just looks amazing and i feel inferior, im neraly 35 pounds more than her and it makes me so self concious, so i guess im back on my old shit.
Holy shit I forgot about fasting euphoria
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9" | CW Fat | GW 115 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 06:58:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9diafx/holy_shit_i_forgot_about_fasting_euphoria/
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On only day 3 of fast. Smile plastered on my face. I forgot about the fasting high (at least, I forgot how great it was). Basically I feel like when you have two glasses of wine at a dinner with really good girlfriends and laugh all night. Why don't I do this more often?!
[Rant/Rave] Ive been hanging out with a guy that hardly ever eats and its been awesome
/u/crazylama13 [5'2 | CW:103 | BMI: 18.8 | GW:100]
Created: Thu Sep 6 06:56:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9di9o3/ive_been_hanging_out_with_a_guy_that_hardly_ever/
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I met a really nice, interesting guy last week and we have been spending a lot of time together for the past few days. We have just been going on really long walks to places because it's my favorite thing to do and he never asks about food. Like on one of our walks the entire day I only saw him eat half a piece of cheese bread and throw it away. It's gotten to the point that I have been favoring plans with him over my friends because my friends always want to eat out. Im not sure if he has an Ed but I really don't think so. Maybe he's just one of those lucky people who forgets to eat.
[Help] How to explain things to my overweight friends
/u/facesonplaces
Created: Thu Sep 6 06:53:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9di8q3/how_to_explain_things_to_my_overweight_friends/
---
Iām trying to explain that just because I think Iām fat doesnāt mean I think theyāre fat. I try not to put myself down in front of them and I try to keep my body hatred to myself. But they know I have an ED and think Iām fat. One of my friends in particular got really offended when I told her I hated my body. How do I explain to them that I have severe dysmorphia and I donāt see everyoneās body the way I see my own? I couldnāt care less what my friends look like and I would never body shame anyone that isnāt me. Help?
[Rant/Rave] How to deal with HANGER
/u/gauntlyghost [1.68cm | CW :cake: | BMI 19something | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 06:49:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9di7ey/how_to_deal_with_hanger/
---
I've been fasting since about 19:30 last night and I'm doing OMAD for dinner.
This is the longest I've fasted (I know it's not very long, it's been 19 hours).
How do you not get HANGRY? I'm not too bothered about food and I'm not thinking about food. My thoughts about food are replaced by thoughts about violent murders (please don't report me, I'm not crazy) - Well maybe a little but I won't murder anyone.
So basically if anyone has any wisdom on how to deal with HANGER that would be so great.
Is anyone here willing to send meanspo
/u/sabeneanie
Created: Thu Sep 6 06:27:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9di0rg/is_anyone_here_willing_to_send_meanspo/
---
I'm jumping back into my usual restriction, but I keep allowing recovery thoughts to slip in. Can some of you here with low or underweight BMIs tear me apart as a person (and my physique) so that I can cut that shit and actually reach my goals? You'd think my self loathing would do the trick but my fat ass seems to like indulging more lately...
[Other] Tumblr
/u/throwaway4638294y
Created: Thu Sep 6 06:18:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dhy3g/tumblr/
---
Posting from a throwaway cos I'm deffinitely being watched. But I've just joined Tumblr (cos I'm definitely being watched) and wanted to know who of y'all are on cos I'd really like some Tumblr friends hahaha
[Tip] New pro-recovery server!
/u/Lunnaris [5ā | CW: 110ā2 | UGW: 99ā2 | 25F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 06:12:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dhwch/new_prorecovery_server/
---
Hello there! A friend made this brand new server thatās all about pro-recovery. You donāt have to be in recovery to join, what matters is your attitude, and maybe it helps!
Give it a try, youāll feel loved and supported here :)
https://discord.gg/2aTAUnF
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support September 06, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Sep 6 06:11:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dhw0c/weekly_emotional_support_september_06_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 06, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Sep 6 06:10:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dhvng/daily_food_diary_september_06_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 06, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] When you fāed your joints working out to hard and have to quit doing high intensity
/u/gkelleyr
Created: Thu Sep 6 05:23:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dhium/when_you_fed_your_joints_working_out_to_hard_and/
---
https://i.redd.it/dbakd14xrlk11.jpg
FREE Pint of Halo TopĀ® Pumpkin Pie (or any flavor) - Print Coupon 9/22 at 12:01 a.m. EDT while supplies last, redeem 9/22 only
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Thu Sep 6 04:51:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dhaqr/free_pint_of_halo_top_pumpkin_pie_or_any_flavor/
---
https://halotop.com/new
[Rant/Rave] I just wanna be normal for once
/u/The_Immortal_Unicorn [167cm | cw: 62kg | gw: 52kg | 17f]
Created: Thu Sep 6 04:29:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dh5ey/i_just_wanna_be_normal_for_once/
---
I haven't been eating much the past few days, and even though I'm proud of it, it's horrible. I'm super tired, my stomach is killing me, I have no energy in my body whatsoever, I'm extremely dizzy all the time and right now I can't even get up from the kitchen floor because I'm scared I'll pass out. All these problems and yet, I still don't wanna eat. It's not like I'm deliberately not eating to lose weight, I'm actually scared of losing so much I also lose my boobs (aka the only thing I actually like about my body) I know I have to eat something, but I'm not even hungry anymore. Nothing seems appetizing anymore, nothing seems worth the calories. And yeah, I know I have to eat much more than 800 cals to stay at this weight, but then I also wanna lose my stomach and be in control of the number of calories I eat everyday. It feels like a failure when I eat enough, it feels like an accomplishment when I eat as little as possible. I have no idea why I'm like this. I'm a mess. I wanna eat, but I can't. I tried. I really did, but after two tiny bites I threw my bread away because I didn't want anymore food. I don't wanna be like this anymore but I don't know how. I just wanna be normal and like my body and don't have a fucked up relation with food...
[Tip] Just found my new favorite meal/drink ever
/u/BlondeActually [Height 5ā4 | CW 94| BMI 16.1| HW 120| LW 89| GW 88 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 6 04:08:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dh08x/just_found_my_new_favorite_mealdrink_ever/
---
Guys why has nobody told me about this before - ayran! Itās like a drinking yogurt but super salty (great for electrolytes and kills cravings like a motherfucker). The best part is 14 calories per 100ml!! Itās 30 calories a bottle. And it keeps me full and itās just sooooo good. Iāve found it while on vacation in Azerbaijan so Iām hoping itās not only a regional thing because if I canāt have it again I might cry.
I got this brand [ayran](https://imgur.com/gallery/f1l7KUh) if anyone is interested. Iām going to scout all the supermarkets around my house till I find more!
[Discussion] favorite low-cal Dutch Bros orders?
/u/luckyskunk
Created: Thu Sep 6 03:21:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dgp7u/favorite_lowcal_dutch_bros_orders/
---
i live on the west coast and while i like Starbucks, Dutch is usually my go-to. ive found tons of yummy low cal starbucks orders but i can never really translate them into a dutch bros drinks & i haven't found many lowcal dutch options that aren't, like, basic boring drinks š any help would be hella appreciated!
I think if I was more patient, i wouldn't starve myself so much
/u/gorgingpuddle
Created: Thu Sep 6 02:20:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dgc0i/i_think_if_i_was_more_patient_i_wouldnt_starve/
---
I always bounce around with weights every 3 or so years, usually underweight , sometimes slim, and now I'm just a chunky fuck. I have EDS, so I have stretch marks everywhere, and ugh. I just want them to go away.
I've been restricting for a couple weeks now, and I wish it would happen faster. I measure myself, and don't weigh myself...even though I'm eating LITERALLY NOTHING, and then eating ~800 calories...I'm losing like, half an inch a week, combined, across my whole body. I'm getting very frustrated tbh. One of those instances where it sucks being tall.
[Rant/Rave] How to stop twisting EVERYTHING ?
/u/BowlWithLegs
Created: Thu Sep 6 02:15:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dgaxh/how_to_stop_twisting_everything/
---
So I'm *trying* to recover but I've realised my biggest set back is that I COMPLETELY twist everyone's postive/helpful/encouraging comments.
I'm literally laying in bed having a big ol' cry because my partner told me he'd put my dinner in the fridge because I said I'm not sure if I'm hungry. I've convinced myself he's putting it in the fridge because I don't deserve dinner. But I know that's not true, but then again I'm sure that's what his intensions are ?!
Heeeeeelp
[Rant/Rave] I am so upset right now
/u/remmyowlbean
Created: Thu Sep 6 02:03:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dg8a3/i_am_so_upset_right_now/
---
My husband started only drinking zero calorie energy drinks last week and has lost 10 pounds already. I am proud of him for losing some weight but also, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?
10 pounds! In one week! Just by drinking zero calorie energy drinks instead of his normal ones. Do you know the last time I had a calorie drink???
[Discussion] DAE rotate between eating disorders?
/u/undertheweather123
Created: Thu Sep 6 01:04:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dfubx/dae_rotate_between_eating_disorders/
---
I was thinking about this tonight after a particularly bad b/p session, and found it kinda weird how my mindset can āswitchā so often.
When I was younger, I would binge intentionally to make myself uglier (long, complicated, & traumatic reasoning behind this), but once I got to fifth grade I began purging along with binging. I was primarily bulimic until 9th grade where, even though I pretty much stopped binging, I kept purging almost everything I ate while restricting my calories.
Over time the restriction just got heavier and heavier until around eleventh grade when I slipped back into binging and purging along with chewing and spitting. That went on through the beginning of my senior year, but around halfway through I fell back into restriction again.
After graduating, I became very depressed/anxious/stressed and honestly stopped caring. I went back into binging, with just the occasional purge. Now, after gaining weight from binging, Iām going back and forth between light and heavy restriction, fasting, & binging and purging.
So, I was just curious as to other peopleās experience with going between different EDs, or if youāve always just stuck to (for lack of a better term) one?
[Help] Is it even an ED if I donāt feel any guilt towards food?
/u/lupoverde
Created: Thu Sep 6 00:51:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dfqzw/is_it_even_an_ed_if_i_dont_feel_any_guilt_towards/
---
Basically the title. I restrict every day so Iām ALWAYS below 1200 (I try to aim for below 1000). I used to calorie count but I got lazy and now I just basically skip meals and go a longer time without eating. Yesterday I stopped eating at 2:30pm and the day before I only ate a few bites. If I count up what I ate yesterday I guess itāll be around 700-800 cals.
But anyway. Whatās weird is that I do this kind of effortlessly and donāt even have food guilt. And basically I eat in public/in front of people but I rarely eat by myself, like I never actually make a meal for myself ever unless Iām at a friends house. And yeah when I do eat I kinda shrug it off like āwell you probably wonāt eat much tomorrow so itās okayā. But itās weird like, how is it possible to eat little and kind of be okay with it?? Like Iām hungry yeah but ??? And when I do eat I have NO guilt at all??? I also often eat sweet things like cake or muffin but I always make sure that by the end of the day Iāve eaten less than 1200.
Maybe itās because I high calorie restrict? Iāve lost like 9lbs in 5 weeks or something so Iām definitely losing weight
[Rant/Rave] Is anyone else tired of the "lol can't you just eat a small piece of x food/eat healthy instead of binging" bullshit?
/u/churromatsuisbae
Created: Thu Sep 6 00:48:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dfqcy/is_anyone_else_tired_of_the_lol_cant_you_just_eat/
---
I'm so done with thissss.
Like, if I could eat small portions instead of ending up consuming 3000+ calories on a binge *of course I would* but it's not that easy. Do they really think we haven't thought that before? I'm just so mad rn.
Is anyone else dealing with this shit?
[Discussion] DAE bruise like a peach when restricting?
/u/transedthrowaway
Created: Thu Sep 6 00:18:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dfj2f/dae_bruise_like_a_peach_when_restricting/
---
Pretty much what it says on the label.
I normally don't bruise easily, but when I first started restricting last year bruises started popping up everywhere on my body. Then it stopped when I was in "recovery" for like 6 months. And now that I'm restricting again, I've got small bruises all over just like last time.
Is this common with restriction, or is my body just weird? (Which tbh it very well could be. I've got both fibromyalgia and PCOS, buuuut afaik bruising isn't something those conditions are well known for.)
Battle of the horrible coping mechanisms
/u/asiaticlily
Created: Wed Sep 5 23:52:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dfcwi/battle_of_the_horrible_coping_mechanisms/
---
literally fml. I count cals like a psycho, while also trying to starve myself. Sober me used to be able to restrict to >1000 a day for months on end. Now that fatass/drunk me is back in action, I canāt even restrict because Iām drinking and eating so much. Literally would like if someone would sew my mouth shut :)))
Purging is starting to become excessive
/u/daintynfainty [5'4 | cw: 117 | bmi: not ok | gw: 92 | 21F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 23:15:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9df3l6/purging_is_starting_to_become_excessive/
---
During the early stages of my BED I would only purge after a big binge. Recently, however, (i'd say the entire past week) I have been purging after every meal, up to 4-5 times a day. I freak out imagining the food in my stomach and it's so relieving to rid myself of it. I think this is mostly because I don't want my ED to be obvious, so I eat normal meals/bigger portions when I am around my bf/friends which I justify because I tell myself I can just purge after.
​
Anyone have advice on how to cut down the purge urge?
​
All my best, always.
Lost weight and got uglier.
/u/xStingx
Created: Wed Sep 5 23:06:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9df18c/lost_weight_and_got_uglier/
---
I thought losing weight would make me happier and make me feel more confident in myself. I've suffered from low self esteem since I was so young. I'm talking kindergarten. I have vivid memories of me not liking who I am. I was also bullied a lot because of my LOOKS. I'm 25 now and seeing myself makes me really depressed. Last year I had so much anxiety that I didn't leave my apartment except for work because I was scared of people seeing me. Now I know what some of you are thinking. ''I'm sure you're not ugly.'' sigh. I've lost a lot of weight this year and although I do like that my body is coming together slowly but surely, I'm still at war with my face. It sucks and it makes me even more depressed and anxious because I feel like no one will ever love me. I've lost all hope at this point. For the most part, I try to put it behind me and just accept myself but it's hard. Especially with an eating disorder and I'm quite sure I have body dysmorphia. I've been to counseling but nothing has changed. I just want to be okay with who I am. Just okay. But it's impossible.
[Other] Other tracking apps?
/u/ketokitty13
Created: Wed Sep 5 23:04:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9df0nk/other_tracking_apps/
---
I use MyFitnessPal, but Iāve heard of others using tracking apps that arenāt MyFitnessPal. If you do, which one and why? Maybe Iāll change what I use!
[Discussion] Gum and Binging? Any Correlation?
/u/kingarthersixties [166cm | CW: 130lbs| GW: 126lbs]
Created: Wed Sep 5 22:58:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dez5z/gum_and_binging_any_correlation/
---
I've notice when I'm in my binging phase I chew a lot of gum. Do I chew a lot of gum because I'm in a binging phase, or does chewing a lot of gum lead me to binges?
I've deadass chewed like 10 pieces of gum in the last 2 hours idk what's happening. Any ideas? Or actual knowledge about this Lol.
I can kind of tell, "Oh no, I'm probably going to go through a binge later," based on if I chew a lot of gum earlier that day. I was just curious.
[Rant/Rave] I just started using Carrot
/u/staticphat [Height: 5'3 | CW: Rice Paddle | GW: Chopstick]
Created: Wed Sep 5 22:53:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dey0r/i_just_started_using_carrot/
---
I had a bad binge yesterday and started using Carrot today to record my calories. I ate over maintenance by 600 cals bc I went out with some friends. At least I didnāt binge and even though I feel fat tomorrow is a new day and I can electrocute my avatar and hate myself.
[Rant/Rave] Sick of hiding
/u/remiisme
Created: Wed Sep 5 22:41:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dev17/sick_of_hiding/
---
Iām so sick of trying to hide my disordered behaviour from everyone! Just let me fucking suffer in peace, donāt judge me, yes my sense of humour is EDmemes just laugh along STOP GETTING MAD seriously one of my best friends and only Ana Buddy killed herself last month and now I have no one to talk to just LET ME LIVE
(/end drunk rant sorry everyone)
[Goal] iāve lost 5 pounds in the past week
/u/pringlesbutthole [6ā|F|CW:114.1|BMI:14.88|20]
Created: Wed Sep 5 22:39:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9deuj3/ive_lost_5_pounds_in_the_past_week/
---
and now itās only 1.6 pounds to go until my UGW ??
all I did was started intermittent fasting 22/2, OMAD and restricting at 500~ calories a day. I started on Sunday, itās Wednesday. Iām fucking SHOOK. Iām only 1.2 pounds more than my LW?!?!
Iām fucking THRILLED
[Rant/Rave] What the fuck is wrong with me
/u/IsAFailure [~5'6 | Last known weight: 110~]
Created: Wed Sep 5 22:36:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9detsr/what_the_fuck_is_wrong_with_me/
---
Wanted to have fun with my best friend so I came out and smoked with him. We ran in Walmart and I bought a whole baguette. (1,440 cal) Ate half of the baguette in his car.
I went to his work with him and am hanging around because heās working the night shift. Ate the rest of the baguette with packets of grape jelly and a big chunk of it with fucking ketchup. Gonna try to fast again tomorrow because I deserve it.
I feel guilty because I'm on my college's meal plan.
/u/cortizonegnome [5'3" | CW: 108 | GW 94 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 22:27:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9derix/i_feel_guilty_because_im_on_my_colleges_meal_plan/
---
My dad is super cheap but since he grew up without food or access to education higher than the elementary level he's always said not to skimp on food or schooling. So as a result he paid for me to stay on my university's meal plan. I feel so guilty:/ Oftentimes I don't use up my meal swipes by the end of the week and I'm definitely not eating enough to make up for the price. I keep telling him I want to just cook for myself but he's always worried for my nutrition and he thinks the only reason is that I don't want him to spend money (while this is true it's only like half the reason why) so he won't take me off of it. I feel guilted into eating even though he's miles and miles away. I'm not even trying to restrict rn tbh b/c I've been on the road to #recovery and eating like a normal person which led me to message a tinder match and he ghosted me and asdfs basically I don't even have an appetite anymore which only makes me feel WORSE and idk this rant has lost its direction. I just feel sad and I want to stop eating to make myself feel better but it only makes me feel worse for wasting money. Also it turns out one of my fave Kpop singers is only like 5 lbs from my weight on their profile but I feel like I look so much fatter?? The weight loss feels kind of meaningless b/c I won't have their face anyways and no one will ever love me and jeebus I sound like a sad sack of potatoes. idk where im going with this love u all here's a million warm ooey gooey zero calories cookies if you've read this all
[Rant/Rave] Almost out of the overweight bmi
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Wed Sep 5 22:18:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dep0p/almost_out_of_the_overweight_bmi/
---
HW was 158lbs on a 5 ft 1 body
Bmi of 29.9 literally one point from being obese
CW 134lbs! Bmi of 25.5 sooo close to being "normal"
Hahaha isn't it funny all the times I've puked to be normal now LOL
[Help] Do artificial sweeteners cause weight gain?
/u/tarynughhh
Created: Wed Sep 5 22:13:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9denoe/do_artificial_sweeteners_cause_weight_gain/
---
I just came across several websites that were all saying that people who consumed artificial sweeteners were more prone to weight gain?? wtf?? sweetnlow is all i drink so iām screwed if thatās true, please tell me itās not!!
[Other] dae use a weight tracker to track progress?
/u/mindlessly_ [161cm | 49.9kg | BMI: 19.3]
Created: Wed Sep 5 22:10:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9den1j/dae_use_a_weight_tracker_to_track_progress/
---
https://i.redd.it/rh85svlrmjk11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Been having tons of little bumps crop up all over my face.
/u/poip67
Created: Wed Sep 5 21:51:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dehtx/been_having_tons_of_little_bumps_crop_up_all_over/
---
Itās Splenda. One fucking packet a day plus one sparkling ice.
Fuck everything.
[Rant/Rave] Ughh this day was trash
/u/brattybiologist [5'8" | CW: 140 | 21.3 | UGW: 123 | 25F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 21:50:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dehjc/ughh_this_day_was_trash/
---
tldr - had a bad day, needed to rant. Sort of ed-related, but also I donāt really have anyone to vent to irl and I had to get this out.
So I got a new job last month and Iām still getting to know my new coworkers. I think generally itās going well, but not today! I sat down to lunch with a few coworkers and one of them was eating a veggie burger and was sort of going on about what was in it. Maybe it was rude of me but I asked if she was a vegetarian. She said she was, so I was like āoh cool, Iām vegan! we should swap recipes somewtimeā (not that I would actually eat them lol, I was really just trying to make a connection since Iām new and still getting to know people). And then she goes, āIām actually vegan too, I just donāt go around announcing it.ā Like?? Okay?? Sorry for trying to relate to you?? For some reason her response bothers me way more than when people think my diet is a joke? Like, shouldnāt we have some kind of solidarity? Idk it just really rubbed me the wrong way and yeah I honestly never want to tell anyone Iām vegan ever again. š
Also the fall semester at my school just started and being constantly surrounded by girls who are skinnier, prettier, younger, and smarter than me has me triggered af š¬š¬š¬ My thoughts are like a constant stream of āI hate myselfā every moment on campus that Iām not actively in class or working on homework. And lol I was so excited to get back to working out the rec center? I must have forgotton that all the girls there are freaking models and Iām just... not. I hate college so much.
So anyways. How was yāallās day? Anyone else have any rants they want to get out? We can bitch about school together if you hate it too š
[Discussion] DAE get excited about the prospect of growing old on your deathbed so you can finally binge on all the foods you ever wanted without caring at all
/u/miugee [5'2 | CW: ? | BMI: 19.12 | WL: 25 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 21:48:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9degxv/dae_get_excited_about_the_prospect_of_growing_old/
---
im craving so many foods rn......i finally moved out and started college a few weeks ago so i've been restricting and tbh this sucks
granted i havent binged since i got here (food in ny is so expensive wtf) but im thinking of visiting home this weekend just so i can eat everything
idk what to do if i go then i'll come back heavier and if i stay then i'll starve and be miserable. just wish i was old and on the verge of dying so i can eat as many jars of nutella as i want
[Rant/Rave] People telling me I look good is messing with my head
/u/binches [5'1 | SW 160 | CW 142 | WL -18 | GW 120]
Created: Wed Sep 5 21:43:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9defib/people_telling_me_i_look_good_is_messing_with_my/
---
Hey everyone!
During the summer I lost 20 pounds due to strict restrictions and eating around 700 calories every day. Coming back to school, I've had plenty of people tell me how good I look which you think would be motivating, but instead it just reminds me how ugly and fat I must've looked. It just makes me never want to eat again. Anyways just wanted to get that off my chest.
[Rant/Rave] iām done. so done
/u/rainbowcatvomit
Created: Wed Sep 5 21:40:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9deesl/im_done_so_done/
---
eating sushi as i type this. great job.
iāve had such a bad september and i know itās just started and i have the whole month to make it better but fuck iām just so tired of doing this. iāve binged every day since friday, gained so much weight and it definitely shows. i need to cut this shit out but man itās not easy right now. iām so stressed and i just canāt help myself.
okay so now that iām done eating that delicious mess iām done. i need to get my shit together.
hope everyone else is having a nice september.
[Rant/Rave] lifehack; if u cant stop compulsively b/ping just get so depressed you cant leave your bed, much less get food!
/u/sleepyboyblue [5'5 | CW 110 | GW 100 | M]
Created: Wed Sep 5 21:30:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dec0k/lifehack_if_u_cant_stop_compulsively_bping_just/
---
/s
​
i want to die lol
[Rant/Rave] The loss of other interests is something I hate most
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 149 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -12| f21]
Created: Wed Sep 5 21:29:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9debya/the_loss_of_other_interests_is_something_i_hate/
---
I try to force myself to do ANYTHING other than food related and it's extremely boring or anxiety inducing. All I want to do is go into the world of weight loss documentaries, Counting up tomorrows food, How can I get rid of calories here or there. When I first relapsed I still was sewing and playing Splatoon a lot, I thought "oh yeah this time I won't lose interest if I force myself" but uh...Yeah it happened. Nothing feels rewarding as food(or lack there of) now, I don't care about ANYTHING else. and I HATE IT SO MUCH, My interests are what keep me happy.
​
Fuck this ED sometimes
[Discussion] Who is your worst Trigger Person? (Discussion + TLDR rant)
/u/markexclamationmark
Created: Wed Sep 5 21:24:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9deadj/who_is_your_worst_trigger_person_discussion_tldr/
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We all have events/comments/shows that we find triggering, but DEA have a person that just sets them off in the worst way possible?
I've been staying with my Grandma for 4 days and I swear I've gained at least 2kg. Bless her heart she is very kind and giving, but now she is approaching 85, lives alone, and her mind and body are starting to give out a bit. I'm someone who needs time alone to recharge, but if my Grandma doesn't know exactly where I am and what I'm doing she will call out for me. She will try and talk to me when I'm on the toilet, when I've gone outside, when we're both in bed in separate rooms. Even when I have gone off to do something she asked me to do, she will ask where I've gone. You can hear her trying to have a whole convo with you when you can hear her properly.
I went up to the shops for her and was gone for 1.5 hours. When I came back she grilled me on why I had taken so long, saying "i thought you might have run off home" (i literally live in another state). I was dawdling just to get a bit of time to myself. The stress of doing all the cooking and cleaning for her makes me reach for food like crazy. She keeps a ton of junk food in the house, but is forgetful enough that I could eat almost all of it and she wouldn't notice.
Every night I have been saying I'm going to bed an hour early, just so i can sit on my bed in the dark (she comes by to check if I'm asleep) binging on food and watching youtube because it's the only way I can release enough nervous energy to sleep. I was going to try and fast today to get my eating under control, but then at 8:30am, while I'm still in bed, Grandma's friend comes around and she says "my granddaughter is here why don't you go and say hi". Nothing like a strange 80yr old man waking me up early to get my stress-binge muscle working overtime.
She asks me to make her specific meals that she rarely finishes (she is ill so not much appetite, i feel awful that I'm jealous). And every time she eats she will insist that I also eat the same thing, even if I don't like it.
She has always triggered me to an extent because she will try and feed me junk, but then comment on my weight.
Above all, I don't want to complain or isolate myself because she is old and unwell and my time with her is precious š
TL;DR:
Staying with demanding, aging Grandma, never getting a moment's peace from the stress and anxiety, binging like mad to compensate.
[Rant/Rave] Tomorrow is my birthday and Iām freaking out because people are going to make me eat
/u/fight-me-grrm
Created: Wed Sep 5 21:24:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9deabp/tomorrow_is_my_birthday_and_im_freaking_out/
---
So tomorrow is my birthday... honestly I donāt really see the point in celebrating since birthdays donāt seem like they should be a big deal to me. But my coworkers want to take me out to lunch, and my parents want to do a fancy dinner, and my friends want to have a party. I tried to ask my parents if we could move the dinner to the weekend instead and now they want to have a weekend dinner AND do something for my birthday.
I donāt object to all of these by themselves... but these are a lot of things that revolve around food. I normally restrict on weekdays so I can chill about eating over the weekend. I fast or eat one meal MAX. I try not to make exceptions for special occasions because the last time I did that set off a year-long binge that started at Thanksgiving and ended 70 pounds later.
Now weāre talking about a full dayās worth of food... four times over. Itās stressing me out and it means Iām going to have to restrict over the weekend which messes with the only rhythm Iāve found that keeps me from going off the deep end.
Not to mention the fact that Iām turning 25 and I feel like my ED has stolen the last ten years of my life and Iāve wasted my youth :(
[Discussion] Goal clothes
/u/CrushedOats
Created: Wed Sep 5 21:19:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9de93y/goal_clothes/
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Iāve had this Vera wang childrenās dress I picked up while preparing for my first year of high school. Itās blue, starry non-stretch fabric with an adorable collar on top. Four fucking years itās been my goal to wear it comfortably. It fucking fits. Itās the weirdest feeling in the world. Senior year is on to a wild start š
Do you guys have any goal clothes youāve been saving?
[Help] Help me not cancel the doctor appt I scheduled myself?
/u/youcansaynoyouknow
Created: Wed Sep 5 21:17:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9de8hg/help_me_not_cancel_the_doctor_appt_i_scheduled/
---
Tldr: relapsed underweight runner in 30s, have scheduled doctor appointment tomorrow but have every reason to just cancel it.
Help me go or cancel and just use this as a guidepost to straighten up. Iām old and body isnāt what it once was.
Iām a mom. I donāt want to die. Iāve had an ED since whenever (a teen?) and Iāve been to outpatient treatment. Got to a borderline healthy BMI. Still obsessive. Afraid of my own binge tendencies. Once I was healthy, I got back down to probably Iām guessing 114-116, probably yo-yoing up to 125 sometimes, but I never weighed myself really. This was, like, 8 years. Iām old. Ok so, then I had a kid and sort of couldnāt/wouldnāt get below what I was when I initially got pregnant (basically an 18.5 BMI, just enough to ovulate, for my body). I was breastfeeding and then just maintaining while running a lot.
But THEN I gained a bit (long story) up past 125, though I was afraid to weigh, so I flipped a switch and lost down to borderline underweight. My running suffered. My anger management suffered. My energy suffered. It was worth it. And I havenāt stopped. I restrict REALLY high because I run so much (40+ miles/week). I keep thinking, ok, Iām testing out higher ranges, like from 1400s to 1500s to now 1800s and Iām still randomly losing a whole pound or two every week or two. Itās sudden, because Iāll be retaining water and then boom. So now Iām at 110 in the morning even after a big dinner. Oh and Iām 5ā7ā. My heart rate feels funky. I donāt feel as energy-zombied as I did, but I want someone to tell me itās ok to run and just try to do better. That Iām not risking my life. I want to maintain, and I want someone to reassure me that itās ok to run while I do that.
But WHY would a doctor encourage me right now? That seems unlikely. And I do NOT want someone to tell me not to run based on an arbitrary gut feeling and then leave me all freaked out. Should I go for the sake of getting as much information as I can? Tell me not to cancel? Halp!
FINALLY
/u/birdsbirdsbirds339 [25F| 160cm | gw1: 137 | -24]
Created: Wed Sep 5 21:13:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9de79u/finally/
---
Broke into the 140s I've been waiting SO long for this!!! Fuck you plateau!!! I'm still fat as hell but still!!!
And fasting will be easy because I got into a fight with my SO and now I dont want to eat for the next week!! Trust in the process amirite?
[Rant/Rave] Welp. Here comes a binge.
/u/boneybabybitch [5'4" | GW birthweight | BMI 16.3 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 21:02:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9de46t/welp_here_comes_a_binge/
---
I ate so well today. I got super motivated by something I read (on reddit) yesterday, and put it into action all day today. I ate breakfast AND lunch (wow! I usually OMAD, at most eat 2 meals, but 3 is scary!). Both added up to 341 calories. I was prepared to go home and make myself a sensible dinner.
Then comes the text.
āI need a drink!ā
Well, duh. Iām never one to pass up a drink. āDinner will be liquid now,ā I thought.
Five hours later and I just ordered pizza. A $20 minimum means I ordered a LOT of pizza.
I already know what will happen. I already know how I will feel after.
I donāt know why I needed to project this into the void, but thanks for listening.
OMAD vs. 24 hour fast?
/u/ketokitty13
Created: Wed Sep 5 20:57:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9de2rs/omad_vs_24_hour_fast/
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Sorry if this is silly, but could anyone elaborate on the difference? OMAD just sounds like sustainable, everyday 24 hour fasting?
i cannot wait until i live on my own
/u/DavidMitchellTurtle [5'8" | M/18 | CW 193.8lbs | UGW 115 | BMI 29.9 | Lost 70]
Created: Wed Sep 5 20:52:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9de17w/i_cannot_wait_until_i_live_on_my_own/
---
being able to just not eat? only keep safe foods in the house? self harm, drink, and smoke without having to explain myself or hide it? fasting to save up for a giant meal i'd be embarrassed to eat in front of others? weighing myself all the time without question? working out at 3 am with no one to wake up?
god dammit i need some fucking privacy for once in my short, short life
[Rant/Rave] Wake up call [rant]
/u/Thtcrazygiraffe
Created: Wed Sep 5 20:50:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9de0ks/wake_up_call_rant/
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So for over a week Iāve been bingeing non stop, constantly reassuring myself with the trope, āoh Iāll start fresh tomorrow!ā But tonight I was on a hammock and it fucking broke because Iām a fat whale. So Iām not going to eat until I donāt know when. Maybe when I look in the mirror and donāt hate what I see.
I will say though, I havenāt purged in a really long time, but even though Iāve been bingeing and by not purging itās caused me to gain weight, I think in the long run itāll be way better that Iāve gotten out of the habit of purging. So thatās me trying to see the silver lining.
Just a few questions regarding nutritionists...
/u/digiskunk
Created: Wed Sep 5 20:34:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ddvzo/just_a_few_questions_regarding_nutritionists/
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hey guys,
i'm a long-time lurker and perhaps you've seen me comment on a few threads here or there. i've been seeing a therapist lately and she's been quite concerned about my eating (or lack thereof), so she suggested that i seek out a nutritionist who can help me balance out my diet. i'm assuming i can do this on my own or ask my primary doctor for a referral, ether/or.
i'm honestly quite intrigued by this because i think it may be a step in the right direction for me, and helping me combat how i view food.
however, i have no clue what seeing a nutritionist really encompasses, so if any kind souls here could shed some light on this subject, i'd be utmost grateful. i know i could easily search google but i'd prefer to hear first-hand experiences so i really know what to expect, what these visits consist of, etc.
if this breaks the rules in any way, i apologize, i will remove this thread if necessary
thank you guys! <3
fasting for ice cream
/u/jujuyk
Created: Wed Sep 5 20:20:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ddrmq/fasting_for_ice_cream/
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didnāt eat all day so I could eat at my programs ice cream social. feel so bloated from the dairy but the cherry garcia was worth it lol. + nobody questioned me at all.
[Other] What are electrolytes?
/u/tvshve
Created: Wed Sep 5 20:14:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ddpxn/what_are_electrolytes/
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What are electrolytes and how can I get them with minimum caloric intake? I know there drinks like Gatorade but Iām trying to save money.
Obsessing over my stats for today- finally feel like Iāve done one thing right this whole week
/u/justoliverflynn
Created: Wed Sep 5 20:13:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ddplp/obsessing_over_my_stats_for_today_finally_feel/
---
https://i.redd.it/tchbpmat1jk11.jpg
I can't be positive and I don't think I can change
/u/SpaceWhale88 [5'3 | CW 20lbs overweight | HW 197 | LW 122 | 30F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 19:58:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ddl3e/i_cant_be_positive_and_i_dont_think_i_can_change/
---
My sponsor ended our call early because I was being too negative. I knew I'd chase her away with my real feelings eventually.
I kinda feel the fuck it attitude right now. I wanna eat some ice cream and throw it up out of spite.
I'm irl a terrible person and I always have been and always will be. I just cant change. I've been rewatching Bojack Horseman and when he has that [sad break up with his Lisa Kudrow Owl GF](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huPtWcb982o) describes me perfectly. Once people know the real me they leave.
Why try and change? I'll always feel empty so why not just continue on like I have been? Why not just restrict and binge and purge? I can still lose weight like that. Why bother with recovery? No one who knows the real me wants anything to do with me. I just chase them away. So why not allow myself the comfort that allows me to function and pretend to be someone who people like? Every time I open up people leave. My insides are necrotic.
Sugar-free candy doesnāt give me the ālaxative effectā
/u/ghostlythin [61.25ā | CW 98.4 | BMI 18.4]
Created: Wed Sep 5 19:54:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ddjr1/sugarfree_candy_doesnt_give_me_the_laxative_effect/
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...which is bad, because that means I wasted 400 calories on 10 Wertherās sugar free caramels, in a weird attempt to satisfy my sugar cravings (during a binge) AND be able to shit SOMETHING out after my binge.
Or Iāve got a big storm coming š
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I've lost
/u/CrabGothHero [5'6" | 204.5lbs | 33.0bmi | 3.4lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Sep 5 19:45:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ddgw1/i_feel_like_ive_lost/
---
Hey there, I'm new. I hope this is allowed, but I just wanted to vent a bit. That being said, it might be triggering. (Also, I don't know if I should tag this as a rant/rave or an intro, I'm sorry)
Ever since I was little, I've had a weird relationship with my weight. I would be at the playground, and see all these kids whose arms were half the size of mine. I'd come up to my mom later and tell her, "I'm fat," and she'd tell me I'm not. This was a consistent thing until I was 13. At that point, the conversation would go,
"Hey mom, I think I should lose weight,"
"We've had this conversation since you were little, you're fine." So I'd leave it alone for a while. I wasn't comfortable with my weight, but my mom said I was fine, and she's smarter than me, so I must be fine.
Then I noticed my thighs were large, and I made the comment at a friends house. Her mom told me that they're good for having kids. I was happy about that for a while, because I want to be a mother.
Then, by the time I was 15, I had developed depression. I hated looking in the mirror. I hated wearing a swimsuit. I hated it all. But every time I'd ask Momma, she would say, "You're fine." You're fine. You're fine. You're fine. I hated those words. I don't feel fine. I don't look fine.
Momma and I got in a fight, I decided I'd kill two birds with one stone. I wanted to lose weight, and I wanted to punish myself for doing wrong, so I'd just not eat. Almost went a day without food, but then Momma made supper, and I thought, "What am I thinking?" and gave in. But the idea never really went away.
I've been battling with the idea of not eating, or not eating enough, for three years. I'd never stuck with it, I'd never gone through with it. Until this year. You can see where I'm at right now. I'm over 200 pounds. I feel like a whale. It's to the point where my mom actually told me that I'm obese according to the BMI (where before she said the BMI was bullshit).
So here I am now, restricting my calories to anywhere from 400-1000 under my Base Metabolic Rate. It didn't start that way. I wanted to know how many I should eat so I could stay there or above. But as time progresses, I set less and less to eat. I feel like I've lost. I've lost a battle with my OCPD, I've lost a battle with my self destructive tendencies.
But I'm winning against my depression. I'm actually happy. I'm actually out exercising when just last year I could barely get out of bed. I'm losing weight so quickly. I feel awful when I think of how this is going to affect my fiance, but it goes away when I complete that mile, or when that number on the scale goes down way quicker than it should, or when I feel empty by exercising right after eating a meal. It feels liberating, even though I know it's not.
I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. And it is really confusing.
Just want to be normal. Why can't you be normal?
/u/SoftElevator [5'5.5"| CW 138.6 | SW 153.8 | 28 F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 19:42:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ddg5s/just_want_to_be_normal_why_cant_you_be_normal/
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I just want to be normal. Why can't you be normal...? Eminem understands me, why can't I understand me? Ugh. This new album is FIRE btw loves.
[Discussion] DAE eat food that will intentionally make them sick?
/u/BladderPatrol
Created: Wed Sep 5 19:40:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ddffl/dae_eat_food_that_will_intentionally_make_them/
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Ive done this my whole life. If I eat something way too spicy or drink too much coffee or eat some McDonaldās ice cream my body just decides to get rid of everything and it makes me sooo happy. I caught myself today getting excited because my spicy lunch and black coffee combo was making me super sick.
Iāve done this since I was a little kid! I guess Iāve always had issues with food, but I donāt abuse laxatives like I did when I was a teenager so yay recovery.
[Discussion] recipes with rice paper?
/u/pringlesbutthole [6ā|F|CW:115.3|BMI:15.03|20]
Created: Wed Sep 5 19:40:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ddfde/recipes_with_rice_paper/
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I bought some rice paper the other day bc 1 sheet is only 25 calories but I have no idea what to put inside of them thatāll be low cal and not gross. I was thinking tuna/salmon maybe?? i really donāt know lol. any ideas?
[Rant/Rave] I have the ultimate thinspiration right now.
/u/dyingtobepretty [5ft|85lbs|F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 19:36:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dde7n/i_have_the_ultimate_thinspiration_right_now/
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Iām sorry if this is weird to post here, but I need to talk about this and idk where else Iād be free to talk about it.
A little over a year ago, my life spiraled out of control. My 5 year relationship ended, and I cut off contact with nearly everyone and moved hours away. I became so incredibly depressed and anxiety-filled, I really stopped living. I havenāt done something fun in so long. I havenāt felt like myself in so long. Eventually, I broke. I called my family and asked to move back in with them, so Iām doing that at the end of the month.
During my, like, 10 day total breakdown, I texted my ex. Within 5mins of talking, we both admitted we were still holding onto the hope that weād end up together, and that we felt in our hearts we were soulmates. Itās going to be a while before we can actually be together, but he wants to see me when I move back. Iām already thinner than I was when I saw him last, but I just need to be thinner. I need to look as good as I possibly can. I need Alexis Renās body in 3 weeks.
Iām gonna eat as little as I possibly can, and workout as much as I can, for the rest of this month (and prob longer). I used to go full weeks without eating, but I havenāt restricted in sooo long, itās only been about 20 hours and itās already hard. The only thing I want more than steak ān shake right now is to look good when I move back. I just keep thinking about how critical every calorie is right now. I keep imagining how flat I could get my stomach, and how much easier itāll get the longer I go. I keep pinching my arms and thighs. I keep looking up thinspo on pinterest and planning all the cute outfits Iāll finally be able to buy (since I wonāt have bills to pay anymore) and imagining how good I could make them look. Ugh. I want to eat but I also want to get more fat off my body before I move back than is even humanly possibly. So nothing but coffee, diet coke and water until Iām passing out. The restricting highs already setting in a little and jesus did I miss this.
[Help] worried about my sister.
/u/lightningmcqueef69 [5'5" | 119.6 | 19.75 | 18 | enby ]
Created: Wed Sep 5 19:35:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dddvo/worried_about_my_sister/
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I'm a snooper. I love looking through other people's shit, especially when I know I shouldn't be. I never take anything, it's just sheer curiosity.
While looking through my (14 year old) sister's room, I found her journal. It's absolutely an invasion of privacy, but I peeked.
She has a food log. She writes about feeling fat, someone making fun of her, counting calories, crying at night. She has her exact body measurements written down, everything. Luckily she doesn't know about my scale.
She just went vegan, and because I just discovered all this I suspect part of it was so she can prepare her own food all the time, and avoid going to restaurants. At least that's what I would do, but I'm fucked up.
I don't know what to do. Do I tell my parents? I feel like a fucking hypocrite. I've been dealing with my own mental health issues since I was even younger than her, and I don't want her to feel alone like I did. I don't want her to go down the same path. I didn't get help until I was almost 18, and it wasn't even for my ED. My ED is my dirty little secret but I don't want her to keep the same secrets as me. I want hers to be good.
...What do I do? Fuck.
bruh Iām so dumb??
/u/BEDBulimic [153cm | CW: 55.8 | GW1: 55 | -8.2 | 20F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 19:34:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dddp2/bruh_im_so_dumb/
---
I just realised I can use sparkling water to dilute my beloved white Monster Zero.
Iām so dumb this is PERFECT how did I not think of this sooner?
* still hella strong flavour (1:1 ratio)
* my water intake is upped and I donāt like drinking plain water ha
* thereās so much liquid and bubbles in me I canāt even think of food??
* Iām trying to cut down sweeteners (growing kinda dependent on them for my sweet tooth lol) and caffeine (since Iām high restricting and caffeine is death)... so win-win
Lmao sorry if this was hella obvious to everyone but I am newly in love donāt @ me
[Rant/Rave] My new twisted hobby
/u/landfill7707
Created: Wed Sep 5 19:33:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ddd9n/my_new_twisted_hobby/
---
Long story short, our water filter broke and we have to go to another floor of our dorm to fill up our water bottles. Next to the closest fountain is a private bathroom. Itās the easiest excuse to go to the fountain after a meal, let my bottle fill up, slip into the bathroom, purge it all out, and then head back to the room without any suspicion. Itās honestly the best and worst thing for me rn
[Other] This subreddit keeps me from relapsing
/u/daintywannabe
Created: Wed Sep 5 19:29:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ddc14/this_subreddit_keeps_me_from_relapsing/
---
So I don't know why this happens. I've been struggling with binge eating and with "anorexia" (it feels weird to write that). I've gotten to the point where I would see black spots by just walking upstairs. And I've also been overweight. I didn't think it was a problem until I counted my calories. I joined this subreddit shortly after (and made my first post).
After almost fainting again at the gym and being told by the doctor that my heart rate was "weird", I decided to stop restricting. I realized that I had gone too far for too long. I decided to start eating 1200 calories. But I became kinda addicted to this site.
It's been hard. Sometimes I binge and sometimes I feel like even drinking water in the morning will make me fatter... At both times I get into this subreddit and read some posts... and somehow, that stops me from binging/not eating.
It's weird, I know. I don't even read anything specific, just being with you all, reading your posts... it helps me. It's like this subreddit keeps me from falling back down the rabbit hole. Idk, just wanted to say thank you. Thank you all for always being supportive and nice. ā”
i felt hella weak today so i'm gonna try to get my health back before it's too late
/u/itsyaboifranzi [5'0| 105.6 lbs | 20.6 | ~20 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 18:52:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dd0s4/i_felt_hella_weak_today_so_im_gonna_try_to_get_my/
---
i know i just celebrated reaching 105, but ill be very careful and try not to gain. i wont binge or restrict or fast for the rest of the month or until i feel good again, it's been nice here but i think for my own safety i should ease up as well as i can for a bit. see you guys later, stay safe ā”
[Discussion] Letās talk business travel
/u/crazy-mcgee [5ā5ā | 140 | 23.3 | who even knows anymore| F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 18:33:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dcv86/lets_talk_business_travel/
---
Do any of you have a jobs that require business travel? How do you manage it?
Without going too much in detail, I have a job that requires extensive travel about 25% of the time. In a few days, Iām leaving home and wonāt be back until the end of next month. Iāll be driving 10,000+ miles in that time around the US. It sounds exciting, but it really isnāt. I wanted to be Eloise when I was little, but the Comfort Inn isnāt quite the Plaza! Anyway, we have to turn in receipts for all of our food expenses (company credit card). My last boss used to make fun of the receipts weād turn in during the last trip, when I was going through a hard binge phase and gained a ton of weight (āhaha crazy-mcgee, sour patch kids arenāt a food group!ā), so now Iām very self-conscious even if no one sees the receipts. Thankfully, all my meals are on my own, so thereās no pressure at group dinners.
Iāve relapsed hard to restricting in recent weeks, and am nervous about managing my intake. What if I donāt eat enough and crash the car? How can I justify eating nothing but a Panera salad, Diet Coke, and black coffee on my receipts? What if I start binging with access to so much trash food and canāt stop?
ugh I hate this
[Help] Alcohol help
/u/lilith2569
Created: Wed Sep 5 18:29:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dctnv/alcohol_help/
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I am a borderline alcoholic. Well, I used to be. I would buy mini bottles of liquor and drink them in the bathroom at work sometimes because my job was boring. I drank a bottle of wine every night. Now itās a little different. I live in a dry county and canāt get it as often as I used to, however my mother buys it and keeps it in the house and I can drink with her. I do so so SO good during the day. And then At night I want to sit down with my mom and have a glass of wine. Or the whole bottle. How do I not want the alcohol?
[Help] Anyone else have weird heartbeats when restricting?
/u/sellie41434
Created: Wed Sep 5 18:25:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dcsp4/anyone_else_have_weird_heartbeats_when_restricting/
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I'm restricting heavily (400-800) and I've noticed that my heartbeat feels off. Like, it feels like my heart is beating too fast even if I'm sitting down and it beats weirdly. Does this happen to anyone else? Should I go to a doctor? I'm not underweight by any means (I'm 5"1' and 128.6 lbs) and I thought stuff like this only happens when you get underweight
[Tip] Vapour snacks - potentially genius idea??
/u/jazledisko
Created: Wed Sep 5 18:02:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dcld3/vapour_snacks_potentially_genius_idea/
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Sooo I'm sure i can't be the only one whos thought of this, but vaping yummy food flavours instead of eating the foods? Does anyone do this and how has it worked out?
I gave up smoking years ago and know that was always something to do instead of food and since vape liquids come nicotine free and so many yummy flavours it seems like a great idea right?
Side note - do proper carb heavy meal flavours exist and if so are they any good?? If there's a garlic bread vape liquid out there then i need it in my life!!
Awkward interaction at work
/u/jazzcatss
Created: Wed Sep 5 17:46:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dcg6i/awkward_interaction_at_work/
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I was sitting on my break at work just eating my lunch and a coworker made a comment about losing weight and how they dislike eating healthy. My lunch was not healthy by any means (I was stuffing a ready made meal into my face + other snacks PLUS red bull because I desperately need the energy to function properly at work). I thought I would make a joke to lighten the mood and said "just be fat and miserable like the rest of us" followed by taking in a mouthful of food. Few people in the staff room laughed but this person was then like "yeah but you lost all your weight so you can't talk". I didn't really know how to respond. All I said was "hmm I haven't lost all of it yet" and they were like "yeah you have". Then a couple minutes later they were like "you just CAN'T say you're fat and miserable when you've lost all that weight." I didn't know how to respond so I just nodded my head and continued to eat my lunch while they sat and stared at every bite of shitty food I took.
​
I still quiet haven't processed the interaction I had with them. It just keeps coming across my mind. I still don't know whether I liked their response or not. idk I just thought I would share this awkward story with y'all.
[Other] Around how many calories does walking burn?
/u/mks_993
Created: Wed Sep 5 17:36:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dcd5a/around_how_many_calories_does_walking_burn/
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I know it varies, but generally how many calories per mile can I expect to burn when walking?
My personal stats are F/5ā6/133
I looked at my Apple health app and so far today it says 2.5 miles walked (which is from walking to and from the train, and around my office - which is quite large). Canāt tell if thatās an overestimate tho.
Anyway, what do you guys think?
I keep falling off the wagon
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" | CW 119| GW 115 | UGW 110 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 16:58:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dc12t/i_keep_falling_off_the_wagon/
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And Iām not losing weight and itās so frustrating. I keep binging and then I end up throwing it up. I just wanna lose 5-10 pounds and itās so difficult.
[Discussion] Tell Me About Your Day
/u/AnaTroi [5'9" | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 16:52:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dbz8m/tell_me_about_your_day/
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Having an extra-super-duper crap-fest of a day. It's great, because if I cry it completely wrecks my appetite. Now if I can just avoid the temptation to chug half a bottle of whiskey when I get home.
Sitting at 130 cals for the day and intended to stay there!
Anyway, how's your day? Distract me. š
I feel like such a baby Iām only on my 21st hour of fasting and Iām already feeling so fucked up!
/u/lizard_dreams
Created: Wed Sep 5 16:22:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dbpgg/i_feel_like_such_a_baby_im_only_on_my_21st_hour/
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Im not even underweight so I donāt know why my head already feels like itās swimming! Itās true though that the feeling is really float. I am planning on eating today but Iām just seeing how long i can go... Iāve had so much coffee i feel totally dissociated from the desire to eat.
[Rant/Rave] Has anyone had success on 700-800 a day?
/u/notadolphin1823
Created: Wed Sep 5 16:14:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dbmu6/has_anyone_had_success_on_700800_a_day/
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I want to try to stay a functional human, but the anxiety I feel eating over 1000 cals a day is unbearable. Is 700-800 too much? Iām 5ā7. Iām sorry if this isnāt allowed, but Iām just honestly panicking that Iām going to gain with that much and not lose.
[Rant/Rave] Forgot how good the restriction high feels
/u/fernsandfoxes [5'5.5"|CW:109|BMI:18|GW:100|19F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 16:04:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dbjg5/forgot_how_good_the_restriction_high_feels/
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Iām getting out of a bad binge/purge cycle rn and oh man did I forget how good that restriction high is. It feels like Iām waking on air.
[Discussion] For those in College, where do you study?
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [š5'5|110|GW:105š]
Created: Wed Sep 5 16:04:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dbj8k/for_those_in_college_where_do_you_study/
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Right now, I'm in one of those slightly caffeine induced manicy states that I enter whenever I am working on essays or my research for my honors thesis. I don't want to brag, but I am pretty good writer. This is only because I obsess over every damn sentence. When I'm working on an essay or reading papers related to my research, hours pass like minutes and if I add coffee then woop now its 3:00 AM and I haven't thought about food once. The only thing that will get me to leave is running out of coffee and being to cheap to buy more from the cafe. These are the times when I'm super content with everything in life and feel like I've got all my shit together, and I like working on these at the library or cafe's because there are no distractions and the white noise is kind of calming.
Anyway, where do you guys like to study? For those of you who study at home, how do you do it? I live super far away now and don't like walking home alone late at night for numerous reasons, so usually I try to stay on campus as long as I can before it gets too dark. There are some things I can't do at home because they require me to be in lab, but in general, my bed tends to distract me so I only do "light" classwork at home like reading and reviewing notes. I'm a morning person so I try to get to campus by 7:30-8:00 everyday and I can be very productive for a few hours before I need to go into class or lab. I find that the ideal environment really depends on the work that needs to get done, but the longer I am away from home, the less food I am around so that is plus. What about you guys?
​
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​
​
There are a few very specific subjects that cause me to enter a manic state in which I work endlessly
Family making you eat breakfast
/u/BadHeart25
Created: Wed Sep 5 15:38:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dbaak/family_making_you_eat_breakfast/
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Iāve lied about me eating twice and my mom caught me both times. I donāt want to eat breakfast but my parents wonāt let me. I feel so upset when I eat breakfast. Any ideas in how to fake eating? My mom and Dad donāt know that I consume 800 cal a day or that I weigh myself.
I hate throwing away food but that may be my next thing.
I need control over my body again
/u/multicolour-squirrel [5'8 |71kg? 67kg? who knows|GW:60kg|26F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 15:22:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9db4ud/i_need_control_over_my_body_again/
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I have decided it is time to fix my relationship with my body and with food. ALL I have done is restrict, binge, restrict, binge. I have nothing to show for it. I weighed in at 71.5kg this morning, my highest weight in months. I have completely lost control and it is time to regain it back. No more fasting, just straight CICO steady every day at at least 1200 calories. No more massive cardio binge sessions. No more pushing myself through various injuries to try and just lose some weight. I need control over my body.
Peace out, you're all fabulous and amazing. I hope to not come back.
[Other] it is SO much easier to restrict at school!
/u/manfromanother-place [5ā1.75 | CW:102.5 | GW: 98 | 19.62]
Created: Wed Sep 5 15:07:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dazcy/it_is_so_much_easier_to_restrict_at_school/
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i at a slice of pizza at lunch and a half bag of lays at quizbowl practice. 450 calories š
[Rant/Rave] Not sure whatās worse...
/u/ShannonAnon
Created: Wed Sep 5 14:48:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dasxe/not_sure_whats_worse/
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...that I screwed up not one, BUT TWO very important presentations in my first week of school, or that when I ran home crying I realized I had to no one to reach out to.
Seriously, I donāt call family up crying and Iām not close enough to any of my friends to justify ugly-crying to them. My boyfriend broke his phone and is unreachable unless in front of his computer, so here I am. Now I get to go to a class where I know I did the homework wrong and the teacher is terrifying.
I wish I had friends hahahahaa
[Goal] Made it! I think?
/u/myedthrowawaydotcom
Created: Wed Sep 5 14:39:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dapo9/made_it_i_think/
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Today marks the first 24hr fast I have done in my entire life, I really didnāt think I would make it, especially since today is also my first āI quit smokingā day, and Iāve been craving everything. Cigarettes. And a sandwich. A cigarette sandwich. But I made it!! Unless chewing sugar free gum and drinking diet coke and tea counts as breaking the fast??? Oh dear God is my life a lie?
Either way, hereās to doubling this (hopefully) fast! š„¤
[Discussion] Thoughts on Drunkorexia?
/u/queen_of_quartz
Created: Wed Sep 5 14:36:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9daok0/thoughts_on_drunkorexia/
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Iāve inevitably fallen into starting to eat at 2pm and having one small meal and just drinking for the rest of the day. Not like until Iām drunk. Talk me out of this or share experiences. Iām so stuck.
[Other] Thank you!
/u/twa1238 [F25| 158cm | CW š |]
Created: Wed Sep 5 14:15:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dahd4/thank_you/
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I just wanted to tell you all how much I appreciate this sub. This is such a relaxing and calming place for me, itās so great to not feel judged. And I love the friendly atmosphere and that everyoneās genuinely happy for others when they talk about recovering but that itās also okay to say youāre not ready.
In other ED forums I always felt left out and the general tone was so bossy and condescending and I canāt deal with that, but here itās just so nice. Idk.
Sorry for rambling but you all saved my day many times.
Thank you.
[Other] Found out my body dysmorphia is way worse than I thought
/u/thingsarestranger [5ā2ā | CW: 125 | -35 | GW:95 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 14:06:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9dadyy/found_out_my_body_dysmorphia_is_way_worse_than_i/
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I had always figured my bf and I were pretty close in weight and Iām pretty sure I had weighed the same as him when I met him bc I was at my HW of 160 and he had just gotten over being rly sick and was super skinny. Heās 5ā11ā and Iām 5ā2ā. Heās beefed up since we started dating (I feed him what I wonāt feed myself lol) and Iāve dropped weight. Got new batteries for my scale so I went to class came home and he says he weighed himself and heās 190 and that his BMI is overweight and he was upset about it. He has a lot of muscle tho (like I can pinch his stomach but thatās it he isnāt fat) but I weighed myself and I was 125. I weigh 65 pounds less than him?????? I figured maybe I was down to like 20 pounds less than him. Really is fucking with my brain right now lol anyone ever have a similar experience?
dae buy clothes that are way too small because 'when i'm skinny i'll be able to fit into them'
/u/kittenbun [5'9 | GW 140 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 13:32:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9da1i8/dae_buy_clothes_that_are_way_too_small_because/
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because i've been doing this for literally 10 years and it's ridiculous because i play 'favourites' with my clothes and i'm 99% sure that even when i've lost 27lb i will still favour all my tatty old jumpers and the fluffy pink dressing gown i've been wearing for the last decade lmao
[Help] Shaking/trembling?
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 114 | 17.8 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 13:31:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9da15s/shakingtrembling/
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Does anyone else shake when theyāre restricting? Normally I can keep up with restricting and exercising but today at breakfast it seemed my motor functions wanted to make me look like a goddamn fool. Like, food was falling off my fork and at one point I even spilled water on myself. Does this happen to anyone else? Iām so confused.
I finally went down thank god! Soon my weight will actually match my flair!!
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 13:24:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d9yrj/i_finally_went_down_thank_god_soon_my_weight_will/
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147 and today im 130. Yaasssss bitch the past 3 days I've been between 133 and 132. I fasted all day yesterday and plan to today. Coffee, water, powerade zero. I will get to 128 soon, havent been in my 120's in two years. Goal is 117. I feel like I'm so fucking close. I just cant fuck it up, no binge sept. Woot.
[Help] Conflicted about eating meaningful meals
/u/impkidz [165cm ā” CW: 114lbs ā” GW: 90lbs ā” BMI: 19.22 ā” F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 13:20:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d9x99/conflicted_about_eating_meaningful_meals/
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My mom recently has seen how depressed I've been (and I've been at a very critical low lately) and has been trying really hard to cheer me up and show she cares because she wants to be supportive of me (our relationship is rocky, but were trying to make it better lately). Shes been doing it this past week by making my favorite meals from when I was a kid. It makes me cry when I see how thoughtful it is of her, but I've been faking nausea because the meals are all super rich and fattening and I know if I eat them it would be even more damaging to my mental health because I'd be terrified of gaining weight from it. I'm scared she's going to catch on soon and I'll hurt her feelings because I'm turning down her really sweet attempts to help me. Should I just start working out even more and just make her meals my OMAD? Should i just keep faking sick? I can't tell her the truth, it would only make her more worried for me. I really don't want to hurt my mom because my ana makes me selfish like this.
WATERMELON RIND BROS
/u/bingeyboa
Created: Wed Sep 5 13:18:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d9wl1/watermelon_rind_bros/
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Fuck me, but I have discovered the joy of watermelon rind. I love me a good melon. Red/pink life cubes? Low cal? Count me in!
But they're expensive, and there's a whole rind left behind.
Well, my dudes, cube that bad boy and freeze it and you have smoothie fodder for the rest of recorded history. Not even kidding. Frozen rind, water, sweetener, and ice in the blender and you have a mild sweet drink. I sometimes put 0-cal drink powder in there instead of sweetener (my favorite so far is peach), and add more ice and water.
Damn. So good.
100g of rind is 18 calories, and for a good full-textured smoothie, it takes at most 50-70g of rind, so like, 10 cal smoothie of delicious filling joy.
Damn good shit.
Of course, my dumb ass still panic purges it sometimes, because I usually have it with air-popped pop corn which can become a binge food if I'm not careful, but when I have it alone, I love life.
Just make sure you blend the rind and water alone first, to get the texture right, or else it will be a little stringy. Once you've got it blended then add the powder a bit more water, and the ice.
It's also amazingly fibrous which is a blessing.
I ate a bunch of protein and fiber. Kill me now.
/u/HistrionicSlut
Created: Wed Sep 5 12:46:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d9l3j/i_ate_a_bunch_of_protein_and_fiber_kill_me_now/
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My intestines hurt. Iām dying. I have an abdominal CT because I got issues and Iām so embarrassed they are gonna know. I want to run away but I already drank the drink they gave me. I think that is killing me too. Send help. Iām so bloated.
Goal tracking for September
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3"| GW 96 lbs |33 y/o]
Created: Wed Sep 5 12:38:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d9i9t/goal_tracking_for_september/
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https://imgur.com/BYv0qy1
[Rant/Rave] I keep saying I'll stop weighing tomorrow and then I weigh again
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 149 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -12| f21]
Created: Wed Sep 5 12:33:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d9ggz/i_keep_saying_ill_stop_weighing_tomorrow_and_then/
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I'm like an addict š£. Didn't weigh for a week+ in August and it was great, Lost 2 pounds and I didn't have the stress. So I keep meaning to not weigh,but every morning I just NEED to know , or it's out of habit I dunno. I feel bad for failing to meet my own goal but also for not weighing Haha
[Help] How do you avoid eating at work?
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: binged]
Created: Wed Sep 5 12:15:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d9a7c/how_do_you_avoid_eating_at_work/
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I started an internship last week and itās my 4th day here. People keep asking me if I brought my lunch and why I didnāt bring anything. They also bring in catering a lot and I had to eat a slice of pizza today to fit in. I like to ECA stack on days that I go in and really donāt want to eat if Iām not even hungry or craving anything. How do you guys avoid food at work?
Am I supposed to just accept that my medication will make me gain weight?
/u/KlokWerkN [5'9" | 128 | 18.9 | -59 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 11:35:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d8vcc/am_i_supposed_to_just_accept_that_my_medication/
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I have been having a really hard time lately. I am on a current combination that makes everything better except it makes me hungry all the time and I can't control my eating. So I either take my medication that makes me feel pretty good but it makes me gain weight or do I stop taking that medication, spend months possibly a year until I find a new combination that works while starving myself and give in to my ED.
Was doing so good
/u/ButDoYouHaveCookies
Created: Wed Sep 5 11:34:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d8v29/was_doing_so_good/
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Sorry if format is weird also this is my first time posting here. I signed up for a 5k next month and promised myself not to binge eat and to eat almost at maintenance untill my race. Which has been really hard. Well today I had a test at school for welding and I was told I'd get a perfect score if my weld bent so after all the work I did It cracked and I got a zero so I stoped at a gas station on the way home and ate 4 chocolate brownies and a coke (hasn't had coke in forever) and now I hate myself.
Today I will fight the urge. [other]
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: 155 | GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 11:33:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d8usw/today_i_will_fight_the_urge_other/
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I will not binge on a whole bag of chicken nuggets.
I will not set my calories to an unsustainable amount.
I will not go on LoserTown to see how quickly I can get to 100lbs
I will not stand in the grocery store for unreasonable amounts of time staring at nutrition labels Iāve already memorized
I will not spend hours inputting food combinations into MyFitnessPal only to eat nothing
Yeah I know itās gonna be hard and Iām gonna mess up. But I want to be different this time. I *want* to eat a reasonable amount of calories. I *want* to have the energy to exercise. I *want* to put an end to the restricting/binging cycles. I *want* to stop obsessing over food. I want control over my life and my weight again
Slimfast - Does it work?
/u/ladydaft
Created: Wed Sep 5 11:08:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d8m1g/slimfast_does_it_work/
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Ive bought the slimfast meal replacement powder and have been having it the last few days with a normal dinner.
I think when i next go shopping ill be getting another tub and taking it more seriously cause I enjoy the taste.
Has anyone had any experience with Slimfast?
Lunch breaks
/u/snottygurl [5'2" |CW 108 | BMI 19.6 | UGW 100 | 24F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 11:08:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d8lqc/lunch_breaks/
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What do you guys do when you have lunch breaks at work. I feel weird when I donāt have any food with me but Iām forced to take at least a 30 min lunch break every day...
Since itās still warm out I can sit outside but when it gets colder Iām not sure where I can hide!!
[Intro] Well this is a story all about how my ed recovery turned upsidown
/u/handzies
Created: Wed Sep 5 10:51:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d8fke/well_this_is_a_story_all_about_how_my_ed_recovery/
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I would like to take a minute just sit right there,
I'll tell you how I gained 20 pounds and never left my chair.
Hi everyone. I used to be a very active member here till I had some health issues and had to be put on a mess of supplements so I would stay kicking. I also had one comment in a popular thread that got a good bit of attention and I did not want to invite trolls into the garden.
I have had my ED for a very long time, on and off for 10 years about. Low weight was about 112 and high weight was about 172. I am now about 150 (typeing that makes me want to die). I did not intend to gain this much but somewhere in my recovery after I was no longer supervised I turned to fear eating. Aka bineging. š„
My health issues did not actually occur at my low weight. I was about 120(a low healthy weight for my height) when I finally had to go to the doctor. I was severly anemic. Im talking 3% blood iron.
Now! I am healthy. But heavy. But I have an odd fear that I am still not eating enough and going to die. Because I feel like im not eating enough, I'm not working out. Because im not working out I'm depressed. Also, when I look in the mirror I am like "what the fuck handsie how could you do this to us, plz starve hoe"
Long story short, I am about to struggle through "healthy weight loss methods" friggin pray for me.
[Other] "Your dedication to health and fitness is inspiring"
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Wed Sep 5 10:51:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d8fj2/your_dedication_to_health_and_fitness_is_inspiring/
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\*sips second coke zero of the day\*
Me everytime I go to eat a cheeseburger
/u/holakitty123
Created: Wed Sep 5 10:47:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d8ecw/me_everytime_i_go_to_eat_a_cheeseburger/
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Fuck it. My husband thinks I'm cute. Just be fat. Eat the cheeseburger. Enjoy the cheeseburger. Cheeseburger is life.
Me post cheeseburger: Fuck I'm fat. How do I live like this?
[Rant/Rave] Why do I keep gaining weight?
/u/snaafuuu [5'3| 185 | 34.41 | -19.7 | 22F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 10:39:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d8b4n/why_do_i_keep_gaining_weight/
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I ask myself as I eat two family size bags of salt and vinegar chips in one sitting and washing it down with 2 full calorie Rockstars. Like, Hello?????????????? OBVIOUSLY THERES SOMETHING WRONG HERE?????? WHY AM I SURPRISED EVERY TIME I STEP ON THE SCALE???????
​
Sorry guys I'm just super fucking annoyed at my shit tier self control.
How much do you think I weigh? (NSFW)
/u/throwaway86_443
Created: Wed Sep 5 10:37:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d8ai0/how_much_do_you_think_i_weigh_nsfw/
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Iām just really curious what others think. Please be *completely* honest
Iām 5ā6 btw. And Iāll probably delete this soon š
https://imgur.com/a/1HXRivP
[Discussion] I drink coke zero and other "diet drinks" as if they were water. Is that bad?
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Wed Sep 5 10:36:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d8a9n/i_drink_coke_zero_and_other_diet_drinks_as_if/
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Coke Zero is honestly what keeps me at 700 - 900 calories a day (I eventually want to eat less, but, baby steps, baby steps...). It's the lifesaver that keeps me from going on rampant binges and the drink that satisfies my sweet cravings. It's a godsend.
But, thing is, I drink it all day, every day, several times a day, (like maybe two to four 24oz bottles a day), and I don't drink water. Is that, well, bad?
In the past when I've attempted eating 700-900 calories a day and stuck with only water, seltzer water, coffee, and tea, I always ended up binging on sweet things, whereas, Coke Zero, Sprite Zero, Zero Vitamin Water, and Diet Tea keep me from binging and always helps me in hitting my low calorie goals.
So, what do you guys think? What's your relationship with diet drinks? Healthy? Unhealthy? Don't care?
[Discussion] Coke Zero, (and other diet drinks), are like a godsend. But, are they "healthy"?
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Wed Sep 5 10:35:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d89pz/coke_zero_and_other_diet_drinks_are_like_a/
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Coke Zero is honestly what keeps me at 700 - 900 calories a day (I eventually want to eat less, but, baby steps, baby steps...). It's the lifesaver that keeps me from going on rampant binges and the drink that satisfies my sweet cravings. It's a godsend.
​
But, thing is, I drink it all day, every day, several times a day, (like maybe two to four 24oz bottles a day), and I don't drink water. Is that, well, bad?
​
In the past when I've attempted eating 700-900 calories a day and stuck with only water, seltzer water, coffee, and tea, I always ended up binging on sweet things, whereas, Coke Zero, Sprite Zero, Zero Vitamin Water, and Diet Tea keep me from binging and hitting my low calorie goals.
​
So, what do you guys think? What's your relationship with diet drinks?
[Help] I finally don't feel hungry but it's at the worst possible time.
/u/PersonInTheBack
Created: Wed Sep 5 10:31:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d88gz/i_finally_dont_feel_hungry_but_its_at_the_worst/
---
I've been restricting pretty heavily for 3 weeks, since the first time I got weighed in a long time, keeping myself at 500-800 calories a day. I know I personally think that's great and that's exactly where I want to be. It may not be much, but I feel like it keeps me energized enough to get through the day and I'm finally breaking through a plateau I've been at all summer.
The problem is, my appetite is slowly disappearing. I'm eating less and less and I can't even manage to eat a meal of 250 calories. The reason this is becoming a problem is because I exercise a lot to get around campus (about 10,000-12,000 steps a day) and it's starting to take a toll on my mind and my body.
I failed a chemistry quiz after an accidental all-day fast simply because it was at the end of the day and my body just couldn't take any more. My brain was in such a fog I couldn't understand a single question.
I've always dreamed of reaching this point. Of eating very little and never missing it, but I can't be like this at the expense of my grades. I'm at school almost full-ride, on a scholarship I can't afford to lose.
I know this is a little weird to ask here, but I really need to know how to overcome the loss of appetite that comes with restricting at least enough to function. Does anybody have any experience with this issue?
[Rant/Rave] How does my weight keep going up when Iām eating below my TDEE?
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 10:22:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d855c/how_does_my_weight_keep_going_up_when_im_eating/
---
I only ate around 900 calories yesterday which seems high but my appetite has been through the roof lately - and I went to the gym for an hour. I was so sure I would wake up today and be back down to my weight from last week. Nope. Last week I was 94lbs and now today I just got on the scale and it says 100. Three digits. How does that make any sense??? Iām so hungry but I just want to curl into a ball and cry
[Rant/Rave] I have no idea what I look like and it constantly fucks with my head
/u/myrtlewils0n [5'5" | CW: 120lbs | BMI: 20 | UGW: 110 | 22F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 10:20:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d84s2/i_have_no_idea_what_i_look_like_and_it_constantly/
---
I have a job interview next Monday. Hurrah! This means I have to get something nice to make a good first impression. Uh....
So be me, in Macyās. Go to the petit section. I grab a skirt in a 2 for shits and giggles, then a 4 and a 6 bc sometimes I fluctuate depending on the brand. Get into the dressing room. The 2 is baggy on me and the four is falling off my hips. The six i could pull up over my chest.
Wow! Maybe I shrunk? Go grab a size 2 in jeans ā cannot pull them up over my thighs. Proceed to feel like a tube of sausage being pushed thru a garden hose. Sigh and put EVERYTHING back on the rack, even a cute dress that fit perfectly because it canāt POSSIBLY be a 2 Iām sure thatās just a misprint.
Walk around the mall aimlessly, donāt buy anything, waste an hour and a half and achieve nothing.
Bottom line: fuck vanity sizing. Fuck self image but also fuck vanity sizing. Everything should just written out in inches or cm and you should be able to buy clothes based off your real measurements and not an arbitrary ā2ā or ā14ā that at this point mean NOTHING.
(Can you tell this interview is stressing me some? Sorry.)
Thoughts on meal replacement/protein shakes ??
/u/lecollecteur
Created: Wed Sep 5 09:57:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d7w2x/thoughts_on_meal_replacementprotein_shakes/
---
Do they keep the hunger at bay? Do you feel the usual brain fog from restricting when drinking them ?? Iām really trying to focus on studying this year and Iām terrified of not being able to concentrate. Do you have any recommendations on the best kind of shakes ??
Thanks ! ā¤ļø
Just binged and I feel like death
/u/nope707
Created: Wed Sep 5 09:56:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d7vzr/just_binged_and_i_feel_like_death/
---
I just binged and I'm freaking out. Will exercising today make me gain less or will it just be a waste of time and effort at this point?
The combination of new BMI and Asian BMI.
/u/bunnywithbpd [5"2 || 104]
Created: Wed Sep 5 09:43:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d7qy4/the_combination_of_new_bmi_and_asian_bmi/
---
puts me freaking 15 pounds less to be classified as overweight. Are you freaking kidding me. Let me just die and realize I was medically overweight for most of my life.
With old bmi and 25 bmi being overweight meant 135+ pounds for my height.
With Asian bmi of being overweight at 23 (Asians develop health risks at lower weight because we just have more fat percentage) and new bmi, my "medically overweight" minimum is 120. SERIOUSLY?!? I want to scream
//on mobile so rant
[Rant/Rave] Labor Day/Gordon
/u/lilith2569
Created: Wed Sep 5 09:17:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d7i0m/labor_daygordon/
---
Itās so irritating to have a holiday when you restrict. Macaroni, bacon, green bean casserole, honey ham, and rolls for Labor Day. It was like a mini thanksgiving. Oh and banana pudding, canāt forget that. So instead of being a strong, disciplined Ana worshipper, I basically said fuck it. And ate. Whatever I wanted, I ate it. And now Iām disgusting and fat and a stupid bitch. I have yet to be able to fast for 24 hours. I am going to try today. Again. But when your family is telling you ādinner is ready come to the table and eatā itās hard to say no thanks without raising suspicion. If I can get home first Iāll say I ate and early dinner and all will be well.
[Discussion] Is this an ED thing?
/u/NovANDP [5'2' :cake: 150 lb :cake: 27.4 bmi :cake: Neutrois]
Created: Wed Sep 5 08:47:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d78eu/is_this_an_ed_thing/
---
Goes to the mall without buying anything. All the time. Either because I want to save my money for when I'm thin enough, or because I think I look too fat in everything. Relatable?
i really cant with myself
/u/sexsymboI [5'9 | CW: 156lbs | BMI: 23.4 | 18F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 08:30:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d72r3/i_really_cant_with_myself/
---
sat next to an older gentleman on public transport. my bigass thighs expanded in the seat of course, spilling over into his seat & he spent the whole bus ride trying to subtly pull away from my fat.
he's my african studies prof.
Iām such a pig but immmm so hungry.
/u/justaskthebear
Created: Wed Sep 5 08:20:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d6zmk/im_such_a_pig_but_immmm_so_hungry/
---
I am trying to do homework before my film theory class and I canāt even focus because I want to eat so bad. But Iām such a pig and I want to be lovely.
Encouragement needed pls... vacation nightmare!
/u/Anonymous_fiend [5'3 | CW:115lbs | HW:145 LW:83]
Created: Wed Sep 5 07:54:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d6rbt/encouragement_needed_pls_vacation_nightmare/
---
I just got back this morning redeye from a 10 day vacation where I hiked/swam/climbed mountains for 1+ hour every day. My left thigh even was sore for days after possibly hurting it from being so active. I skipped breakfast so I could have some beer at night. I didn't think I ate that much but there was no food scale or reliable internet. With my activity level (calculated by my bfs apple watch) I burned at least 400 extra calories than normal. I purged 3x when eating a normal meals/not binging towards the end of the trip (once on the plane even) after not purging in months. And yet I gained 2lbs. My bf said it could be from muscle since he lost 4+ lbs on this trip. Did I really pig out that badly? To gain I'd have to eat about 2500 which is pretty hard for me. At least I thought. Maybe it's water retention from all the salt, heat, and exercise? Or hormones and whoosh? I don't feel bloated like when I drink too much and haven't had severe constipation. Maybe I'm just a š. Whelp there goes my cute school body plans for next week š
[Discussion] It's time for another š post ya'll
/u/BroItsJesus [š ebirdy | 5'4 | CW ? | GW100 | 18F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 07:24:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d6ico/its_time_for_another_post_yall/
---
Comment your usernames below
​
Ya girl goes by ebirdy, happy to add you guys
SKORTS are the BEST THING to wear!
/u/BadLifePLanner
Created: Wed Sep 5 06:44:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d66br/skorts_are_the_best_thing_to_wear/
---
I'm skinny and I have cute long legs that would be a shame not to show off. Now, I love me some short skirt, but god, it flies up, you can see, hm, under it (think stairs or all glass elevators lmao). I WILL WEAR TONS OF SKORTS FROM NOW ON. Just google skorts and take a peak at how cute (and short!) they are. Woohoo!
[Discussion] Before Iāve asked what triggered you lately, but what about the opposite? Has anything made you feel good or validated your ED behavior?
/u/sunnshine67 [5'4 vampire | CW 137.2 | 23.7 | -27.8 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 06:31:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d62ev/before_ive_asked_what_triggered_you_lately_but/
---
This guy that Iāve been friends with since my freshman year (Iām a senior) and I have started talking, after a year of losing touch after I started seeing my ex. Before he would have never looked at me in a sexual way but Iāve lost weight and I think weāre going to hook up really soon. Based on his history of partners and his own straight up admission, his type is skinny women and while we were flirting and talking about types he said āyour skinny tbhā. I mean heās def wrong, Iām not skinny Iām a normal BMI but the fact that he said it made me fucking ecstatic lol
[Rant/Rave] Vanity sizing at my college...
/u/skeletonsofawhale [5'2 | 140 š³ | -45 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 5 06:16:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d5y79/vanity_sizing_at_my_college/
---
So my first day of college was yesterday, and I went to visit the bookstore to shop for clothes.
​
At most stores, I fit into size M (US/Canada sizing).
At my college bookstore, I fucking fit into a size XS!?!?!?!?!? like how???? I'm still technically overweight for my height, thankfully not by much, but still.
I get that I'm only 5'2, but I saw a couple girls that must have been like 4'10 that were at a healthy weight, and \*countless\* girls that were super skinny at 5'4. If I fit into XS now, then what would I even be able to wear when I'm at my UGW?
​
This is euphoric, confusing, and triggering all at once.
​
Too bad all the sweaters cost $65 dollars each so I probably won't buy them anyways.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 05, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 5 06:11:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d5wpu/daily_food_diary_september_05_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 05, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday September 05, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 5 06:11:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d5wjq/way_to_go_wednesday_september_05_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for September 05, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Discussion] What do you guys usually have for breakfast?
/u/httpram
Created: Wed Sep 5 06:05:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d5uz5/what_do_you_guys_usually_have_for_breakfast/
---
i always have eggs, but ive been looking to change it up recently.
[Discussion] Can we talk about what we like about our bodies
/u/audreyhepburnwho [25F | 5'8 | cw 159 | hw 196 | sw 172 | lw 150 | ugw 145]
Created: Wed Sep 5 05:47:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d5pza/can_we_talk_about_what_we_like_about_our_bodies/
---
I know there's been posts like this but, we spend so much time hating our bodies and talking about it here, what we wish we could change, what we're trying to change... Can everyone mention at least one thing they actually like? I'll start.
I like my face. It's puffy when I gain but at least when I'm thinner, i find it to be pretty. At least when i feel like shit about my body i can try to fix my hair and makeup and like how i look.
Now you.
[Goal] Iām doing my first ever fast today.
/u/notadolphin1823
Created: Wed Sep 5 04:22:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d54qg/im_doing_my_first_ever_fast_today/
---
Iām allowing myself broth when needed, calorie-free liquids, and coffee. I just want to make it 24 hours. Wish me luck.
Do any of y'all also constantly shop for korean/japanese fashion?
/u/taikutsuu [5'9'' | cw: 120, -32 | 17.2 bmi | gw: 110 | 18f]
Created: Wed Sep 5 04:21:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d54j6/do_any_of_yall_also_constantly_shop_for/
---
I have this whole bookmark file with all kinds of dresses and tops and stuff, their fashion is so.. stylish, and classy.. All the models in asian fashion are so dainty and slim and it just makes me wanna be them. Once I hit my fucking GW I'll buy all of that shit. I haven't bought any clothes for myself in years, I'm wearing my jeans from seventh grade again.
goal weight ahoi
[Help] Can someone please help me
/u/twa1238
Created: Wed Sep 5 04:16:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d53a6/can_someone_please_help_me/
---
please I need your help
Iām at IKEA with two friends right now and I knew they would want to eat something and one of them always gets pissed when I donāt so I looked up the calories and figured a small dish with meatballs for 800 calories would be okay as my OMAD since Iām in a huge deficit anyway
but I just CANT its the worst and humiliating and I ate so slowly and it didnāt even taste good I just didnāt want to have it inside me
The whole dish (8 meatballs, huge ball of mashed potatoes, sauce) is 802 calories according to the website but I donāt believe it
Iām currently still sitting in front of my food while theyāre getting dessert please can someone help me count the calories please please please
I ate 6!!!!!!!! of the meatballs and a spoonful of mashed potatoes but there was a little of the sauce on it- maybe a teaspoon, letās say two.
I have to watch their stuff and canāt go to the bathroom to cry omg Iām so pathetic
My hands were literally shaking while eating I hate this
Bought 11 cans this morning, already drank 3
/u/acykq
Created: Wed Sep 5 03:08:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d4ooh/bought_11_cans_this_morning_already_drank_3/
---
https://i.redd.it/hkhe9imnydk11.jpg
[Help] What are the best laxatives from the grocery store?
/u/rayodelunalele
Created: Wed Sep 5 03:00:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d4n8b/what_are_the_best_laxatives_from_the_grocery_store/
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Totally TMI but Iām backed up right now, and I really just want to clean my entire fucking colon out. š
[Discussion] It is time get sex with your local girls!-----xFUCSzSa
/u/maparrar
Created: Wed Sep 5 01:57:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d4a6p/it_is_time_get_sex_with_your_local_girlsxfucszsa/
---
http://t.support-ch.link/?iamlink??proED?2D8YC4FsMASumX=hgtlicWk1ioMdpR
[Discussion] Buddies?
/u/jazledisko
Created: Wed Sep 5 01:42:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d4783/buddies/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Attack of the binge.
/u/jazledisko
Created: Wed Sep 5 01:15:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d41q3/attack_of_the_binge/
---
So I'm in the midst of a ridiculous day-long binge... at work no less... i literally cannot stop eating today and I've pretty much consumed everything last thing i had at work plus about 100 pieces of gum, i don't know how my guts haven't exploded yet honestly.
But the worst of it is that i don't have time to leave the building during the day and the vending machine has like 2 things i can eat... neither are filling or THAT good.
Not that it even matters cause even filling stuff I'll just eat and eat and eat. Does anyone else binge on really wholesome food though or is it just me?? I swear id eat an entire tray of lasagne if the opportunity arose. Can't wait to go home and have left over veggie tacos then go the heck to sleep so i stop freaking eating š«
When your husband walks out on you first thing in the morning... Guess this is mu breakfast,lunch and dinner today...
/u/glitchydowner
Created: Wed Sep 5 00:43:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d3uot/when_your_husband_walks_out_on_you_first_thing_in/
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https://i.redd.it/kzuoksg29dk11.jpg
[Discussion] Do you get that satisfying feeling after eating?
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Wed Sep 5 00:29:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d3rre/do_you_get_that_satisfying_feeling_after_eating/
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I dont. I tried to eat two meals in a row and i dont feel satisfied, just full. It seems like the feeling is gone? Whats going on?
Sleeping pill binge
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Tue Sep 4 23:59:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d3kyt/sleeping_pill_binge/
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I took a sleeping pill last night at about 10 pm and I have this insane memory of me waking up around midnight and binging on like a loaf of plain bread, four bowls of cereal, all of the fruit in the house, all the icrcreams from tbe freezer. Pretty much anything I could shove directly in my face was gone.
I come downstairs this morning, and sure enough I've completely cleaned out all my food.
I hate sleeping pills so much because I feel they don't even leave me rested but I hadn't taken any for ages and I needed to get a good night sleep, so I thought why not.
Well now I now why. I feel like shit this morning from eating so much carbs and sugar. It's like I have the hangover from hell. Looks like I'm not going to be doing this again.
Does anyone else binge like crazy on sleeping pills?
[Rant/Rave] I canāt believe Iāve let myself get this fat. 5ā4 // CW: 165lbs // GW: 130lbs // UGW: 115lbs // AGE: 18
/u/rayodelunalele
Created: Tue Sep 4 23:59:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d3kyq/i_cant_believe_ive_let_myself_get_this_fat_54_cw/
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The past two years for me have been a crazy binge/restrict cycle. But lately Iāve been on a binge cycle that has lasted way too long. Since I was online schooled I just totally gave up on my appearance and let myself become such a huge lard ass. I was talking to a really attractive and perfect for me guy, first guy Iāve liked in years. He said heās only ever dated skinny girls. He said itās not because he prefers them itās just because thatās who heās dated. He also told me one of his friends (who is also my like acquaintance weāve hung out before several times) called me fat but he didnāt think so. It just hurt so much to know that his friends were telling him that because even if he didnāt care about my size he had to think about it and know that other people think Iām fat. Oh the story gets better! Weād been talking for two weeks planning a date and then one day he just texted me saying he didnāt wanna talk anymore and it wasnāt gonna work out. Iām just so disgusted with myself right now. Not even just because of the above mentioned situations, just because Iāve let myself go. I used to be sexy and confident now Iām shy and a fucking whale. I have a fucked up relationship with food. Itās not for taste anymore. Itās for indulgence. Whenever Iām having a shitty day I plan a huge binge. This was okay, it used to be just comfort food when it was happening once a month or whatever. But itās come to being every fucking week, 3-5 times a week. I need to cut the fucking bullshit and get back on my grind. Iām done being sloppy. Iām done being ugly. Iām done binging. Iām going back to restricting. Iām going back to no carbs. Iām going back to working my ass off everyday. Iām going back to being pretty and confident and doing whatever the fuck I want because Iām pretty and confident. I have no friends because I isolated myself because I was so embarrassed about my weight. I could really use some buddies (off all stats) to help me stay focused and motivated towards my goals. Iād love to make a group chat if any of you are interested? Please help guys at this rate Iāll be 200lbs by next summer, PLEASE help me help myself.
Iām gonna be doing a salt water flush tomorrow followed by an extended water fast for HOPEFULLY 21 days( Iāve got enough fat right not to be able to do that healthily because Iām overweight, I donāt suggest if you are already underweight!) DOES ANYBODY WANNA DO THIS WITH ME? IāM READY TO BE SKINNY AGAIN.
What's the safest way to prolong a fast?
/u/Kaynobii [5'3 | CW: 116 | GW: 105 | HW: 148 | 19F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 23:52:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d3jar/whats_the_safest_way_to_prolong_a_fast/
---
I would like to lose weight as fast as possible without reaching the point of passing out or getting so hungry I binge. Ideally I'd like to lose 10 pounds within two months. How many calories should I restrict? I'm considering a juice/smoothie fast.
[Help] Obsessed with food, finding alternatives?? Advice please
/u/justoliverflynn
Created: Tue Sep 4 23:40:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d3gnr/obsessed_with_food_finding_alternatives_advice/
---
My BED has been especially bad lately, but I think Iāve chalked it up to liking to have something in my mouth, so yes- gum, but I want to know other ideas as well.
I was thinking about like a pacifier just for when Iām alone obviously but I need some other ideas!!
[Help] how to calculate maintenance?
/u/problemproblem420 [5'6''| 124| 20 | 19F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 23:30:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d3ehv/how_to_calculate_maintenance/
---
how can i calculate the fewest calories needed to just maintain? is it really 1200? help
[Help] Night/post dinner hunger
/u/ihate-chicken
Created: Tue Sep 4 23:22:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d3cwg/nightpost_dinner_hunger/
---
Iāve recently been super hungry after dinner/at night and canāt seem but get rid of this feeling. It usually leads me to binge or at least snack which I hate doing so ālateā at night.
Any thoughts on why this? Help?
Cereal sadness
/u/guesstimate217
Created: Tue Sep 4 23:13:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d3au6/cereal_sadness/
---
So this week I bought my favourite cereal growing up (honey flavoured weetbix bites) and decided to eat the same serving as a used to as a 13yo. Turns out I was eating 500 calories for breakfast every day hahahaha no wonder I was so fat. Cereal is so misleading š¢
[Other] How bad is a birthday binge?
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 114 | 17.8 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 22:56:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d3709/how_bad_is_a_birthday_binge/
---
My birthday is on Sunday and I think Iāll treat myself that day. This is stupid but how bad of an effect will it have if I eat:
-calorically dense breakfast like French toast or eggs Benedict
-a cheeseburger or steak and fries for dinner
-two scoops of ice cream
I feel like I sound shallow but this is really stressing me out and any insight is appreciated. I also am planning on going to the gym between breakfast and dinner. Thanks!
[Help] Just got a positive pregnancy test
/u/LumosMegan
Created: Tue Sep 4 22:46:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d351b/just_got_a_positive_pregnancy_test/
---
Iām kind of freaking out. It isnāt a bad thing. I have two little girls. But I hate myself because Iāve lost ten lbs purging and restricting since July and now all I can think about is how Iām going to gain weight and not be able to lose anymore. Iāve worked so hard. I am purging like 5 times a day. Now what the hell do I do? Treatment, I guess. Because I have to or else Iāll miscarry, and I have a history of recurrent miscarriages.
Like seriously what kind of selfish monster am I that all I can think about is myself and my body
[Rant/Rave] I got a massage tonight and it helped me quite a bit mentally
/u/button_eyed_coraline [5'4" | 165 | 28.3 | -75 | Female]
Created: Tue Sep 4 22:25:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d3058/i_got_a_massage_tonight_and_it_helped_me_quite_a/
---
I have this friend, Iāve known her almost a decade. Sheās a retired massage therapist and basically only massages my husband and me at this point. She comes to our house and sets up in a room, plays soft music and dims the lights. Itās fantastic. Iād give her half my budget to come more often.
As she was massaging me tonight, I had this strange epiphany: she has been massaging me for nearly 10 years. Whether I was thinner, heavier, pregnant, or injured, Iāve been baring it all for this woman and she touches me with tender kindness every time. She finds all the hidden places where I keep my pain and my anxiety and soothes them, if only for a brief time.
I wish I could see myself through her eyes. I wish I knew what she sees when Iām laying on the table. But most of all, I wish I could be as kind to my body as she has been all these years. This train of thought caused me to start crying silently as she massaged my head and face. She wiped my tears without a word and kept going.
Thatās all. I just wanted to share that somewhere and this felt like the right place. Iām a limp noodle now and Iām going to bed. Tomorrow may not be any easier for me but I have a feeling that Iāll sleep well tonight all the same.
Meal prep!
/u/plaidbluejammies
Created: Tue Sep 4 21:41:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d2q5u/meal_prep/
---
https://i.redd.it/zjx8m12mcck11.jpg
Okay not sure if this will kill me guys.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 21:31:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d2nns/okay_not_sure_if_this_will_kill_me_guys/
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I've almost completely replaced water with powerade zero. I drink two of the huge bottles a day. Am i going to die? XD No, but really is this terrible for me?
[Tip] People to Follow on Insta??
/u/versperalaxis
Created: Tue Sep 4 21:18:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d2kc9/people_to_follow_on_insta/
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weight loss goals, basically. preferably ED accounts. looking for motivation rn.
[Discussion] Anyone else aiming to lose muscle?
/u/ketokitty13
Created: Tue Sep 4 21:18:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d2k5y/anyone_else_aiming_to_lose_muscle/
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Title pretty much says it all! Iām curious. If so, how are you going about it?
I was lifting for over a year, but gained weight a few months ago, so now I look bulky and I just want EVERYTHING off. Prior to weight lifting, I used to be so skinny :(
How much do you think I weigh? [NSFW]
/u/throwaway86_443
Created: Tue Sep 4 20:58:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d2esq/how_much_do_you_think_i_weigh_nsfw/
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Please be *completely* honest. Iām just really curious what other people think.
Iām 5ā6 btw. And Iāll probably delete this soon!!
https://imgur.com/a/1HXRivP
[Help] I want to quit therapy...
/u/bmalaur [5'4" | 24F | HW: 127 | CW: 103 | LW: 85]
Created: Tue Sep 4 20:51:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d2coi/i_want_to_quit_therapy/
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Every session I'm like "So I don't think I'm really getting anything else out of this and it's really expensive and my weight is stable" and then they somehow guilt me into continuing? I've been doing this for a year. I'm not doing "great" but I'm like relatively stable all things considered and am doing OK at maintaining.
How do I just fucking quit??? It's outpatient fyi.
[Other] To everyone vowing September to be a binge free month
/u/Just-Another-Mom [5'8" | 143.4 | 21.7 | 41.6lbs | F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 20:47:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d2bfp/to_everyone_vowing_september_to_be_a_binge_free/
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I failed this weekend. I really wanted to have an incredible month with you all, but I failed you more than once in the span of 2 days.
Iām sorry.
Those of you going strong, keep going. Much love to everyone.
[Rant/Rave] my entire thought process while shovelling pasta into my mouth
/u/throwingaweight [šø5ā7ā | CW:129 | BMI:20 | GW:120šø]
Created: Tue Sep 4 20:33:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d27rk/my_entire_thought_process_while_shovelling_pasta/
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āyou are bingeing. you are bingeing. you are bingeingā
i can feel myself thinking it, i can feel my stomach protesting, but i just have to finish this bowl, then iāll be done i swear
At the beginning of July I couldn't even run a mile, now I'm at a 10 minute mile! š
/u/Bisexuwhale21
Created: Tue Sep 4 20:19:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d2437/at_the_beginning_of_july_i_couldnt_even_run_a/
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https://imgur.com/n1jhgHV.jpg
[Rant/Rave] The recent discovery of my ED. I dont know how to move forward.
/u/halfblueshirt
Created: Tue Sep 4 20:11:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d226r/the_recent_discovery_of_my_ed_i_dont_know_how_to/
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I (24 F) was a competitive gymnast growing up and was always in pretty good shape. About 2 years ago I realized that eating like trash and binge drinking didnt agree with my body so I made an effort to change. It started with small changes, like choosing sweet potato fries over normal fries or ordering chicken grilled instead of fried. In addition to healthier food choices, I got back into my hobby of bouldering. The weight started to come off and I was feeling more confident again. I noticed that the less I weighed, the better I could climb. The more weight I lost, the more "health conscious" (neurotic) I became. I would weigh out my food and check the calories of everything. I developed the weirdest habits of taking small bites of food or spitting out food if it didnt feel worth it. I was climbing 5-6 times a week and was hungry ALL the time. I stopped losing weight because I would restrict too closely then binge and regain any lost weight. I was stuck in a cycle. I recognized this cycle and I was going to change. I was going to break it. I started crossfit. I was already strong so it seemed like the perfect extra activity to add. Some gymnastics, some cardio, a bit of weightlifting. **que horrible idea lightbulb** I got bulky. I dont like looking so damn strong but the workouts were too much fun, I didnt want to stop going. So what did I do? I tried to cut weight again. I got down to my lowest body fat percentage. You could see my abs. I still looked too strong but I didnt have any fluff. I was climbing better than I ever have. I wasnt happy with my body but it was the closest I've been to being happy with my appearance. Ever. Who wants to guess what happens next? I started getting dizzy while bouldering and at workouts and eventually I started over eating again. I couldn't stop binging. I still cant. My body is on overdrive. I've gained 6 pounds in 2 weeks. I look in the mirror and feel disgusted with my body.
Then the other night my ex told me I had an eating disorder. I cried immediately because I always knew something was wrong but I had never heard it out loud. He was concerned and understanding. For once it felt like someone was on my side. Until I find out that he has told our entire friend group that I openly admitted to having an eating disorder. He told everyone. Why would anyone do that? I already feel so isolated and now I want nothing more than to not face them.
Well there is one thing I want more than perpetual isolation: to stop binging.
TLDR: too much exercise + not enough food= eventual binging. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I have an eating disorder. I did not have the opportunity to share it with any close friends because my ex beat me to the punch. I feel disgusting and I don't know how to move forward from here.
Afraid of taking medication because of weight gain side effect
/u/mabver321 [5'1 | CW 143 | GW 108| F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 20:01:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1z46/afraid_of_taking_medication_because_of_weight/
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So im currently taking latuda and ive noticed that the side effect of many medications or antidepressants like this one is a ton of weight gain so ive been too afraid to take it
someone compared me to jonah hill
/u/DavidMitchellTurtle [5'8" | M/17 | CW 192lbs | GW 115 | BMI 28.8 | Lost 68]
Created: Tue Sep 4 19:58:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1yg4/someone_compared_me_to_jonah_hill/
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no offense to jonah hill, but i'm gonna go starve myself for ten years
The most weight you've lost in a short amount of time?
/u/awildEDhasappeared
Created: Tue Sep 4 19:56:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1xx7/the_most_weight_youve_lost_in_a_short_amount_of/
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Honestly curious, I'm a fucking fat shit right now at 5'7 and 160 pounds because BINGEBINGEBINGEBINGEBINGE for months and I want this shit to fall off right now. I'm restricting to 900 calories a day to get back into the swing of things before I cut more. I need to be 120 pounds fucking yesterday. I've done fast weight loss before and I can do it again, wish me luck.
Also post inspiration if you ever managed to lose super speed
[Discussion] DAE eat coffee beans?
/u/tifaloch
Created: Tue Sep 4 19:48:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1vsn/dae_eat_coffee_beans/
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theyāre crunchy, have caffeine... you can buy flavored kind, so itās kind of desserty.
also, they have such an unpleasant texture after you chew them (gritty), that i end up feeling disgustingly full, even if iām not, for hours.
not to mention, laxative side effect. š
[Help] How to combat fasting mania?
/u/poetsandscientists
Created: Tue Sep 4 19:38:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1t98/how_to_combat_fasting_mania/
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Title says it all. Every time I restrict my calories I lot I have an insane amount of energy and literally canāt focus/sleep/anything. I do drink a lot of caffeine but u can pry my Diet Coke out of my cold dead hands lol. Anyone have any good tips????
[Tip] here's a tip: taco bell is nothing to be afraid of
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 107|16.7|UGW: 100|F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 19:29:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1qub/heres_a_tip_taco_bell_is_nothing_to_be_afraid_of/
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fresco style is the bomb! a fresco soft taco is 140 cals, a side of black beans is 80, a side of seasoned rice is 120, the chips and pico de gallo are 170, a fuckin nacho cheese doritos locos taco is only 160 y'all. their sauce packets are 0 cals. if your friends want fast food you could order 3 fresco style beef soft tacos and be under 500 cals, get a giant diet soda, you appear normal! i've had so many taco bell OMADs while low restricting it's incredible. just letting all of u that have sworn off fast food forever kno that [taco bell has ur back](https://www.tacobell.com/how-to-eat-fewer-calories)
[Rant/Rave] Itās not a big deal, but itās a big deal.
/u/drowing_dancer
Created: Tue Sep 4 19:26:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1q5s/its_not_a_big_deal_but_its_a_big_deal/
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I desperately needed legitimate groceries and I decided to go to the grocery after work. I thought about low cal meals and planned while I was shopping because my weight is shit at the moment. All of a sudden, all of my urges to buy food to purge on later came up for me (lol). I started putting my usual binge foods in my cart and then I thought about it for a second and how miserable Iāve felt during this bulimic phase of my EDs. AND I PUT IT ALL BACK AND LEFT WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT. I know itās not a huge deal, but it felt good to say no to that finally.
56 hours into a fast and nothing seems worth breaking it. But if I keep going I'll end up binging...
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 258 | Goal: 250 | 40.9 | 30 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 19:22:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1p5e/56_hours_into_a_fast_and_nothing_seems_worth/
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I've gone over all my options, I really should break this fast, but my appetite is nil and nothing sounds good. Like starting eating again is gonna be a thing now, it's gonna lead to me losing control as it always does.
I'm afraid to eat too much of anything, because calories, and anything that's not too high in calories doesn't seem worth shooting myself in the foot for. Even broth is a fear food right now and I don't know what to do with myself.
[Rant/Rave] "Enjoying" food
/u/Xelaalba [165cm | CW52.4kg | 19.2 | GW 50kg | F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 19:20:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1oe6/enjoying_food/
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**I just want to get this off my chest - feel free to ignore as it's going to be a long post.**
I've been thinking lately... I don't have a favourite food anymore because of my ED. Not because there's so many amazing things to eat out there that I couldn't possibly choose, but I literally couldn't pick out something I "love". I used to live to eat but now I eat to live. Not only that but the idea of having a favourite just makes me feel so guilty, as if for some reason enjoying food and wanting to eat certain things makes me a greedy, fat, cow. It's frustrating. I mean.. it's not the end of the world that I don't have a favourite but it seems a little bit sad to me now. The fact that I would really enjoy a slice of pie or a doughnut doesn't make me fat. Having cravings and favourites don't make me fat, they make me *human*. Why is this illness so fucking illogical. We can't exist on air, so why is even just thinking about delicious things so sinful to me now??
I used to love cooking and trying new things and got really excited about food, but years of relapses and being too poor and stressed as a college student just killed it for me. I used to spend hours finding recipes, saving them and actually TRYING THEM but now I just think, "what's the point if I'm just gonna eat it, spend money on it and then feel shit about myself". If i make something that sounds good, I'll have to actually eat it and deal with the mental consequences, and that outweighs the excitement I used to feel. Yes I want my food to taste good, but it has to be safe, vegan, not too much, and not interesting by anyone's standards. I'll feel guilty for merely *considering* food that I want purely for enjoyment, not for sustenance. OOOF.
I've just been comparing my thoughts on food with those of my friends lately and it seems like another world.. my boyfriend doesn't believe in not eating at certain times just because it's too late/too early to eat, he eats when he's hungry and has told me he has never even considered relating body image to food. Imagine!!!! When he eats, he doesn't think about how it could affect how his body looks, he just enjoys the food and appreciates that he will have more energy after eating. I'd kill for that mentality. He straight up doesn't think about food, to the point of forgetting to eat. This in turn makes me feel worse about myself - "wow fatty, you're thinking about what to have for dinner when he will probably forget to eat until 9-10pm?"
It feels like such a waste of energy now, to obsess over the impact of say a COOKIE, on my life - it's just a cookie, why can't i just fucking eat it and forget about it!!! I once watched my bf sit and eat a whole bag of mini brioches without a care in the world, while I debated having one for the entire time and ended up not having anything. Ugh.
Essay over, it's bedtime. Feels good to just write this stuff down, even if nobody reads it, and if you did: thanks, random human <3
​
​
Iām just pumped about all the good diet drinks I got today!
/u/robreinerismydad
Created: Tue Sep 4 19:19:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1o3v/im_just_pumped_about_all_the_good_diet_drinks_i/
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Grocery shopping rocked. I picked up Vanilla Coke Zero, diet squirt, diet iced tea, sparkling water, and tried a Monster Zero for the first time! The monster really surprised meāit was tasty! I actually really enjoyed it. It felt like a fairly successful trip.
[Discussion] anyone else get really fuckin sad in grocery stores?
/u/itsyaboifranzi
Created: Tue Sep 4 19:04:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1kh4/anyone_else_get_really_fuckin_sad_in_grocery/
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i was just in a grocery store and it made me feel so sad knowing i'll never get to eat any of it. the bakery was the worst part. i'm in the middle of a 2 day fast and now i just crave bananas and oreos. fuck this. why does everything have so many fucking calories
Canāt stop binging. Want desperately to be back on restriction.
/u/Emorito [5'3 |CW: 109 |-36 | 22F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 18:46:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1fiu/cant_stop_binging_want_desperately_to_be_back_on/
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So Iāve been binging the past few days without purging and I just want this shit to stop. My gag reflex is shot right now so I canāt throw up but I also canāt stop purging either. I tried getting back to restricting today but then I just kept going and going and going when I tried to finally do OMAD at 8:30 pm.... fuck. What should I do :( I just want to be back on my restriction cycle but it feels so impossible Rn. I feel worthless as I am at this weight.
[Discussion] DAE take showers in the dark
/u/sstephenn [Recovering 5'10 | 126.2/57.2 | 18.1 | -60/27.2 | Male ]
Created: Tue Sep 4 18:35:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1co5/dae_take_showers_in_the_dark/
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I did today and it was very nice Iām not scared of the dark well not the darkness thatās in my bathroom anyways but I organize my soaps so I know where to grab them from š and u donāt rlly see ur body but like a silhouette if thereās light coming from under ur bathroom door so itās kinda aesthetically pleasing
[Rant/Rave] Dreamed up a binge
/u/StarburnerRav [5' 10" |Trumps salary in lbs | -40 lbs | Male]
Created: Tue Sep 4 18:18:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d1878/dreamed_up_a_binge/
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I have an important trip I'm taking in a month so I've been restricting like crazy and working out. I haven't been sleeping well at all and I was finally able to pass out for a few hours after 2.5 days of no sleep. I dreamt up this super elaborate plot and a large portion of it was dream me having the binge of a lifetime. Dream-me was loving it and then I woke up and real-me was extra upset that I fallen off the wagon. Except I hadn't fallen off the wagon. I stayed cranky for like 4 hours because 'damn me for eating that bean dip what is wrong with me?' BUT THERE WAS NO FREAKING BEAN DIP. If I'm going to feel like garbage about myself I should at least get bean dip.
[Discussion] Vision going black/blotchy
/u/DisguisedAsMe [5'3" | 115 lbs | BMI: 20.93| -13.7 | 21F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 18:10:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d15u2/vision_going_blackblotchy/
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I have been restricting and had to leave my sports practice early today cuz my vision started to go black and I felt like I was going to pass out. Any tips for handling this?
[TW?] What do you guys think of the hypothetical connection between EDs and sexual abuse?
/u/MiauMiau1919
Created: Tue Sep 4 17:49:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d10hp/tw_what_do_you_guys_think_of_the_hypothetical/
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I found some studies that suggest a correlation between bulimia and being a victim of (childhood) sexual abuse, others that seem to cast doubt on that. What do you guys think?
[Intro] I'm new
/u/sellie41434
Created: Tue Sep 4 17:31:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d0vqm/im_new/
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Hi everyone, I'm new here (I've had ednos for about two years but I just now found out about the community on reddit). I'm 5"1' 16 girl my SW was 140, my CW is 130.8 my CGW is 120 and my UGW is 98. I just wanted to say hi!
[Rant/Rave] Completed my very first >20 hr fast!
/u/yungelectric [5'7 | CW: 132| HW: 202 | 23F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 16:39:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d0hc1/completed_my_very_first_20_hr_fast/
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I made it to 40:34 hours yāall! I know itās probably not that big of a deal, but Iāve been doing 18:6 IF since January and have always been weirdly scared of doing a 24 hour fast. Until now my longest was 22 hours, but I finally managed to push myself further than I had even planned for
No wonder people fast all the time lmao, what an easy way to drop extra weight on top of regular old restriction
Odd request for winter coat recs from my UK ladies
/u/isdrunknskinnyathing [5'2" | CW 102 | GW 95 | the floor is calories]
Created: Tue Sep 4 16:34:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d0fuy/odd_request_for_winter_coat_recs_from_my_uk_ladies/
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I know this is not *totally* related to EDs but it kinda is. Cause you get really fuckin cold when you haven't eaten anything all day. I'm about to move up country for uni and I need a really good winter coat to keep me warm this winter because I know my weight is going to drop like a sack of yesterdays potatoes once I have autonomous control over my eating habits in student accommodation. Plus I drive a moped so that makes my life 10x colder. So if any of you lovely UK ladies (which I have noticed, there are quite a few of us here) have a bomb-ass winter coat that they want to try and claim advertising money for, please let me know. Every winter it's as if I have to choose between eating and being a comfortable temperature (guess which ones wins hahaaaaaa kill me). I just wanna be cosy.
​
Please delete this if its not allowed, I'm a little drunk and have an irrational fear of the cold
Iām so alonei
/u/lasirenexx [5'4" | CW: 104.5 | BMI: 17.9 | GW: 99.5 | 29F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 16:31:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d0f42/im_so_alonei/
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Iām such a fucking baby because Iām 3 pounds up from my adult LW where I modeled and felt beautiful and LIKED MY BODY but now I feel like a gross pig and of course my dumbass is drinking cheap wine and binging because my husband is out of town and my reflection horrifies me... my face is even more horrifying than this run on sentence. Why does the slightest gain effect my face so much? I feel so ugly; itās one thing to hate my body, but now I despise my face which I actually loved at times! I feel like a worthless pig and Iām so alone and itās all my fault and Iāll probably delete this rant but I just need some human acknowledgement. Iām in so much pain. Please help me before I cut... Iām going to drink more horrible wine
[Help] Should I b/p tonight
/u/facesonplaces
Created: Tue Sep 4 16:25:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d0deq/should_i_bp_tonight/
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Or should I try not to? Regardless Iāll end up eating over my limit cause im a fucking pig. I hate myself. Anyone else stuck in the cycle?
I should be thin by now [Rant]
/u/xz8362614455921r [5'2.5" | CW: 109lbs | GW: 84lbs | 26y/o]
Created: Tue Sep 4 16:01:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9d06l3/i_should_be_thin_by_now_rant/
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On mobile, so apologies for bad formatting and/or typos!!!
Dear lord, I went from binge-eating nightly to OMAD ~700 or less (that's a lot, I know, but am easing back into actual restriction), and I still!!! Cannot lose weight!!!!
Sorry for the lame post, I'm just frustrated by my lack of progress. Obv the answer is restricting more and, most importantly, finding distractions, but I'm just.....shocked that cutting my intake hasn't worked as well as it used to :/
Genius Foods
/u/strawstring [5'10 | CW 155 | GW 140 | 21F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 15:30:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9czxi9/genius_foods/
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So I'm in a sort of pseudo-recovery type mode right now, making active moves to primarily stop purging but also to stop fasting unreasonably and lose the last 15lbs ~healthfully~ and all (but still kinda low restricting). One of my biggest issues is that I love how I feel when I'm "empty" and hate feeling food in me, even if it's just a ton of raw veggies that I know won't make me gain or anything. I think this might also be the case for some of you guys, and if it is I recommend reading Genius Foods by Max Lugavere. I initially bought it because the primary focus of the style of eating he recommends is to help the brain - things like preventing dementia and alzheimer's and boosting neuroplasticity which can also help depression, anxiety, etc. I have a huge fear of (for lack of better wording lol) losing my mind through mental illness or early onset dementia or any loss of memory/function. It initially freaked me out because healthy fats are given a huge emphasis, and obviously things like nuts and egg yolks are calorically dense and scary and I usually avoid olive oil like the plague, BUT I've found a lot of unexpected upsides:
1. Eating healthy fats keeps me much more focused than anything else
2. My stomach is not as full feeling after I have a meal since I've been eating things with smaller volume and the same calorie count, so I can continue on with my day and not feel pregnant
3. It gives me peace of mind knowing that the things I'm eating are directly affecting my brain in a beneficial way
4. Instead of not eating processed carbs and sugar because "it will make me fat" I've mentally switched to "that will affect the chemicals in my body and cause direct harm to brain function" (this is also a better excuse to say no when someone offers you processed foods - people don't argue when you hit them with a "i'm preventing dementia")
Everything he claims is backed by soooo many studies and pure evidence, the specific biochemical pathways that occur are explained, and there is even a lose meal plan and recipes at the end. There's also a lot of ways to find alternatives to the nutrients in meat/eggs that are recommended if you're plant based because he lays out exactly what in the foods is good and where else you can get them.
The book really really helped me with a bit of peace of mind so I thought maybe it could help someone else too!
Anyone want to fast with me?
/u/conuretrash
Created: Tue Sep 4 15:11:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9czrt1/anyone_want_to_fast_with_me/
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Hey yāall. I binged 1,280 calories today so Iāve decided Iām not eating until Saturday. Anyone wish to join? Maybe we can make a group chat lol. I need help being held accountable, my longest fast was 51 hours. Itās so much easier to just not eat than to eat at a deficit.
[Rant/Rave] The perfect day is upon me
/u/PainlessMe [17F | 1.75 | CW: 58 | GW: 50 | SW: 70.1]
Created: Tue Sep 4 15:07:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9czqpi/the_perfect_day_is_upon_me/
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Tomorrow is like literally the perfect fasting day for me, and I havenāt fasted in a while so Iām very excited and wanted to share.
For starters, my school starts quite late, so I wake up when my mum is already gone for work. Skipping breakfast? Check.
When Iām at school I usually only drink Coke Zero and my friends donāt seem to notice, which I really donāt mind. Skipping lunch? Check.
Lastly, I have a movie thing at 18:00 so I already told my parents Iām eating with a friend beforehand and I told her Iām eating at home. Skipping dinner? Check.
Now all I have to do is remember to bring my water bottle, and remember to stay away from snacks. So I think this is quite easily achievable.
God, I love planning so much.
I wore the (previously too-small) shirt my friends got me for Christmas!
/u/SlutForGarrus [5ā6ā|CW:148|HW:240lbs|GW1:130|GW2:118|F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 14:55:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9czmp8/i_wore_the_previously_toosmall_shirt_my_friends/
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As the title says. It sat in my closet all this time. I only see them a couple of times per year and had gained a few pounds last fall, so the juniors medium they picked was too snug (which I was in denial about initially and then just didnāt want to say anything to them about it). But we had them over for dinner the other night and I wore the shirt they bought me and it fit perfectly! (And one of them called me āboneyā when he hugged me. Hehehe.
[Rant/Rave] back back again
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | recovery/relapsing | 23f]
Created: Tue Sep 4 14:51:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9czlq6/back_back_again/
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welllll, looks like my disordered ass is back in business!
​
in january of this last year, i finally started to recover. i've gained about 15lbs, my waist is 2 inches bigger, clothes that used to be ridiculously big on me fit again. i deleted all my calorie tracking apps AND made it through a totally heartbreaking breakup without relapsing. and it's just.......not working??? i can feel myself relapsing and i don't have \*any\* desire to stop it. it's cool to see new users on here and familiar usernames too! this community is so welcoming and supportive. it's good to be back.
[Discussion] Has anyone tried XLS Medical supplements ??
/u/lecollecteur
Created: Tue Sep 4 14:49:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9czkwu/has_anyone_tried_xls_medical_supplements/
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Did they work? What was your experience with them?
Have you tried any other weight loss supplements or aids that really worked?
[Discussion] DAE cries listening to The Carpenters?
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Tue Sep 4 14:42:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cziyb/dae_cries_listening_to_the_carpenters/
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Goodbye to love is so sad and the fact that she died of anorexia makes everything more sad.
I feel like a creep.
/u/Slice_n_diced
Created: Tue Sep 4 14:27:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cze8q/i_feel_like_a_creep/
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I work at a highschool guys, so all day I'm surrounded by skinny teenage girls and I feel like I'm ALWAYS checking them out. They're such a source of thinspo for me. I love looking at their legs and arms and wrists and guessing how much they weight and wishing I could look so small and dainty like they do.
I also am a little delighted when I notice one of them has gained weight lmao.
I feel like a creepy asshole and I need to Stop.
I think I woodshed? 7.6lbs since Saturday
/u/schwarz-loch
Created: Tue Sep 4 14:11:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cz99i/i_think_i_woodshed_76lbs_since_saturday/
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https://i.redd.it/vkrkt26c4ak11.jpg
Felt like this might belong here tbh
/u/SpacePrinxePhoenix
Created: Tue Sep 4 14:10:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cz8y9/felt_like_this_might_belong_here_tbh/
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https://i.redd.it/ciual8wa3ak11.jpg
[Tip] A flower a day.
/u/audreyhepburnwho [25F | 5'8 | cw 159 | hw 196 | sw 172 | lw 150 | ugw 145]
Created: Tue Sep 4 13:53:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cz370/a_flower_a_day/
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Ok so, where my September Goals peeps at? I know a lot of us have specific plans set out for this month, a lot of us having come from a rather shitty August. A lot of us are doing No Binge September. I have a few other rules for this month but that's the most specific daily one. No bingeing. So i came up with a way to keep track of it. It's kind of like when you check a day off the calendar and watch the streak grow longer, but, better. I'm buying myself one of my favorite flowers for every successful day. It's a way to reward myself with something non food related, it's something i can look forward to because i love having these flowers. I don't have to go to the flower shop every day, but then when i do ill buy as many flowers as I'm allowed, not more. And yes, they'll eventually start dying so it's not like I'll have 30 flowers at the end of the month but that's just kinda extra motivation to keep going, otherwise I'll end up with zero flowers again. Seeing as many of them as possible in my apartment will give me joy. Obviously this won't mean the same for everyone but mayne you can think of something else? Another idea i had was making a cute origami for each day and taping it to the wall as decoration. I like this better than keeping a chain calendar because if i do break the chain eventually it'll be hard to feel like I'm restarting from day 1. If i do have a bad day and don't buy a flower for that day, I can easily get back on track the next day. Hopefully that won't.happen though. I have 3 flowers so far.
[Rant/Rave] finally got down to 105 lbs!!
/u/itsyaboifranzi
Created: Tue Sep 4 13:51:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cz2s9/finally_got_down_to_105_lbs/
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ive been stuck at 106-7for two or so months (tbf last month i was binging mostly but still) and today when i weighed myself it read 105.6. i havent had a single calorie today (so far, its only 4pm) and i'm so fucking hungry but that just motivated me to keep going and not have any more calories today. now i'm 10 lbs from my first goal and im so hyped!!
Starting school again means eating like an idiot, apparently!
/u/rawtruism [5'2 | cw: 100.5 lbs | gw: 88 lbs]
Created: Tue Sep 4 13:44:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cz0gm/starting_school_again_means_eating_like_an_idiot/
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Ugh. Blegh. I have seriously been eating SO HORRIBLY for the past three weeks. Starting school really was tough. I can't stop eating, but I don't have the energy for cooking, especially since when I actually do cook, I don't have the energy to clean up again, so my kitchen is fucking disgusting right now. But anyhow, I don't have the energy, so I eat snacks or order food, or make something simple that's still fucking disgusting.
I need to get out of this horrible cycle !!! Does anyone have any advice? I need to just. stick to eating fruit or something.
[Rant/Rave] Found a private purge spot and now I feel sneaky
/u/7M7j7KGMM8uuwNnW [5'3" | CW 153 | GW 120 | BMI 27 | -14 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 13:41:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cyzpw/found_a_private_purge_spot_and_now_i_feel_sneaky/
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My company is on the edge of town and encourages office employees to take outside walks every day. I take full advantage for the sake of my weight loss and my mental health.
I gave into hunger and quit my fast after 20 hours, the food I ate (not my usual safe food) made me queasy and I hated how it felt in my stomach.
The multi-stall employee bathrooms are gross, plus traffic in and out makes it less than ideal for purging.
Out on my walk I realized thereās a small hill behind our building out of sight. I purged in peace and itās my new secret spot!
I hope you all are so fortunate to have a purge spot that isnāt a disgusting public bathroom!
[Rant/Rave] suddenly lost the mojo
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | god help me | M]
Created: Tue Sep 4 13:22:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cytr8/suddenly_lost_the_mojo/
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I was doing great for August, and then three days after being back at uni I binged & am barely holding it back today. How do I get my momentum back before I spend another year wallowing in the binge/restrict cycle?
[Goal] If you're starting school in a body that's not your goal body:
/u/bunnyalert [62'' (167cm) | 164lbs (74kg) | F? :illuminati:]
Created: Tue Sep 4 13:20:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cyt9z/if_youre_starting_school_in_a_body_thats_not_your/
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I'm with you and I wanted to give you the same pep talk I just gave myself to get me out of bed.
It sucks to be on the other side of summer without achieving what you wanted, but whatever progress you made is still progress. And if you didn't make any progress and are starting today, you'll be much closer to your goal in two months. Tomorrow, you will have wished you started today. You're going to be okay, just start working towards that goal in any little way you can.
The marking period / semester / trimester will be over before you know it and you have a chance to start the new calendar year off in a better body. Imagine yourself in January, proud of everything you accomplished this fall and proud to show off your figure in cute new clothes for the new season.
I love you and I believe in you! And good luck with school!
Losing weight in all the wrong places
/u/moon___night
Created: Tue Sep 4 13:12:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cyqph/losing_weight_in_all_the_wrong_places/
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Parts of me look skeletal while other parts look flabby, my tits are gone but my stomach pudge clings on for dear life. I look like shit but I can't stop wanting to lose more weight :/ It's like my brain thinks that if I just reach my GW I'll magically start looking great even though I know that's a lie
[Rant/Rave] Getting blocked after sending a picture of myself
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 150 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -12| f21]
Created: Tue Sep 4 12:41:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cygzm/getting_blocked_after_sending_a_picture_of_myself/
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Wow what a confident boost that is! I don't usually talk to people, but hey someone messaged me and I thought I might be interested in them. So when they asked for a current picture I sent one, I immediately get blocked. Wtf, not explanation. I know I'm fat and look young, and maybe you don't like puppies...but why block me after asking for a picture? At least say WHY or something dude.
[Other] [Other] Want to be miserable
/u/sriracha_henny
Created: Tue Sep 4 12:37:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cyftt/other_want_to_be_miserable/
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I have a therapy appointment coming up, after months of hemming and hawing and not getting around to it. Now I desperately want out, but I canāt cancel this time. I know how stupid this sounds, but Iām not thin enough for therapy. I donāt have a fucking problem; itās all in my head and I need to stop being a baby.
I deserve to be this miserable because I made myself fat. I genuinely donāt want to feel good about myself for any reason until Iāve given myself a reason toāi.e being thin. Will it require a 30 pound weight loss? Yeah. Will that take me MONTHS, by which time I will get worse? Yeah. Do I care? Honesty, not really. I donāt care about my own well-being because if I did, Iād stop raiding the pantry every other day at 11pm.
I want to isolate myself until I lose weight. I want to be alone with my campus gym and Clif bars until Iām ready to come out and be a functional human again. Iām so tired of seeing my fat face in the reflection and thinking that anybody can help me out of this except for myself.
TL;DR: Angry uppity bitch is too fat for therapy.
Who needs friends tbh
/u/Literally_a_Gorilla
Created: Tue Sep 4 12:25:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cyc0b/who_needs_friends_tbh/
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I'll just be friends with my skeleton.
[Help] Having a hard time being rational
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 12:03:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cy4z3/having_a_hard_time_being_rational/
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So, I successfully avoiding binging over the long weekend (yay!) though I did eat slightly above maintenance yesterday but It was controlled and I also hiked for like 2 hours so I figure itās ok.
What Iām having a hard time with is despite this binge, my weekly average is about the same as last weeks with my two binges. And despite the fact that was kind of the whole point (increase cals slightly, reduce binging) I still am sort of upset?
Itās dumb because I only want to lose like ten lbs. I donāt need to do it fast or aggressively. But still, seeing an average of 1100 is upsetting me so much and I am having a hard time focusing at work bc of it. I also know itās even a little lower than that bc I didnāt include my exercise cals.
I hate that I canāt just be rational and normal about all this. Iām not doing anything wrong or to be ashamed of but I feel like I am.
Oh, my sweet summer child. How do I answer this without my crazy seeping through?
/u/DoNotEatAllTheDonuts
Created: Tue Sep 4 11:54:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cy25s/oh_my_sweet_summer_child_how_do_i_answer_this/
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https://i.imgur.com/sPaivk0.jpg
[Goal] September goals--what are yours. Check in for Week 1.
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3"| GW 96 lbs |33 y/o]
Created: Tue Sep 4 11:40:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cxx8b/september_goalswhat_are_yours_check_in_for_week_1/
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Alright. Let's set some September goals. Then I'll start a thread in October and see how we managed. Maybe I'll make a thread each week on this for all of us to check-in and get support for accountability and to tweak our plan so we can be successful.
**Start**
I am currently about 108 lbs, and that is far from okay. I would like to be 102 lbs by October, which is fairly reasonable.
** Plan **
* Target of 850 calories and 50 g protein.
* Get in 10,000 steps a day everyday and exercise 3-4 times a week
[Discussion] What would you be binging on right now if you could?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Tue Sep 4 11:37:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cxwc2/what_would_you_be_binging_on_right_now_if_you/
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(Sourdough bread, olive oil coated pasta, roast potatoes for YEARS)
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend starts his new job today, meaning I have a B/P window.... every single weekday.
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 167 lbs | -10.2 lbs |29.23 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 11:31:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cxuay/boyfriend_starts_his_new_job_today_meaning_i_have/
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I get home from work at 3:15 in the afternoon.
Starting today, he will get home around 6:30 in the evening.
I'm getting really excited for a massive binge and purge session already. I feel like it's inevitable at this point and now I'm just really stoked and planning what I'm going to eat.
Why... am I such a nightmare
[Rant/Rave] Forced out of my comfort zone for NOTHING
/u/BladderPatrol
Created: Tue Sep 4 11:28:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cxt62/forced_out_of_my_comfort_zone_for_nothing/
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I spent the whole Labor Day weekend visiting my partnerās family and being forced to eat out of my comfort zone and way, way beyond even my maintenance calorie limit (I logged everything). Every time we visit food is always a weird issue (I canāt tell if itās my ED that I donāt really have or if they are just totally weird), so this time I even brought a ton of safe foods that I could eat secretly (what ED??) and not feel totally helpless.
I spent the whole weekend eating fondue and sausages and fucking bacon and cheese eggs so that I could look like a normal part of the family and support my partner. MY PARTNER HAD A HORRIBLE TRIP SO IT WASNāT WORTH IT. I go on these food bender trips with him to try to make him happy but heās always just so miserable and I feel like I ate thousands of calories to appease people that are miserable.
Hope your Labor Day weekends were a delight!
anyone else troubled by how their ed conflicts with their personal beliefs
/u/cowboyhatcowboyhat
Created: Tue Sep 4 11:14:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cxogq/anyone_else_troubled_by_how_their_ed_conflicts/
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i feel like my relationship with food/my body really makes me view other women in a really misogynistic light - my initial mental response to meeting another woman is so often to look at her body, compare it to my own, and, to be perfectly honest, draw some conclusions about her as an individual on that basis - something i OF COURSE make a conscious effort to correct whenever i become aware of it (and i do try to be constantly aware nowadays, since noticing it as a pattern of thought).
i know it's a complex issue, and that all women, even ones who have a more 'normal' relationship with food, are encouraged by our capitalist patriarchal frame of society to view other women as rivals in our never ending quest to become the perfect thkinnyyy commodity but i do think it's something exacerbated by ed thinking?? and it's something that rly bothers me
what are people's thoughts !!
[Tip] This product literally changed my lifeā itās SO much easier to lose weight now
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 š» CW: 93lbs š» 21F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 10:50:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cxg8s/this_product_literally_changed_my_life_its_so/
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[This mini bike pedal-y boi was literally the best investment Iāve ever made](https://www.amazon.com/Portable-Pedal-Exerciser-Vive-Equipment/dp/B01G8ZU2N0)
I just sit on the couch all day, use my phone, watch TV, strap my Fitbit to my ankle, and pedal away! It doesnāt even feel like exercise. I literally get like 18,000 steps alone using this bike and I donāt even have to leave the living room lol.
I was skeptical at first but Iāve lost like 5lbs because of it. I didnāt really want to spend the $45 at first, but honestly this bike has changed my life.
I donāt have to go on 55849393 walks/day, and I can finally focus on other things like school work without worrying about being sedentary.
Itās also nice because I can spend time watching movies with my boyfriendā something Iāve always had a hard time with.
Iād definitely recommend thisā itās seriously improved my quality of life and has made my ED waaaay more bearable.
I want my ed to kill me
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Tue Sep 4 10:42:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cxd6p/i_want_my_ed_to_kill_me/
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On mobile, flair as rant.
I have nothing left other than my eating disorder. No friends, no relatives that I trust, my boyfriend constantly ignores me, I have no passions or dreams, nothing. I'm numb and absent most of the time. I'm so scared of the future, actually I can't even see a future.
But I still have my ed. Starving, binging, purging, obsessing over numbers. It keeps my mind busy. My ed will never leave me or ignore me, it won't kiss its friend after saying it wants me.
I just hope it'll kill me eventually. I think it'd be a good way to go.
Are you hungry or are you FLABS?
/u/thinandmint [5' | 110 | GW 90 | š thinandmint]
Created: Tue Sep 4 10:42:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cxd0r/are_you_hungry_or_are_you_flabs/
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F = frustrated
L = lonely
A = angry
B = bored
S = stresssed
Saw this acronym in a psych video and thought it was a good way to prevent emotional binging. Thought I should share!
(Yeah, looks like I'm always just flabs š³)
[Rant/Rave] Feeling motivated to get on track after a rocky weekend
/u/TumericTea
Created: Tue Sep 4 10:28:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cx80r/feeling_motivated_to_get_on_track_after_a_rocky/
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This weekend kind of was awful, I isolated myself and felt extremely lonely. I binged and purged multiple times. But today I feel better. I realized Iām going off to college in 3 weeks and I want so badly to be skinny to make a good first impression. I re downloaded my fitness pal and am going to work out after work. Iām planning to start at 900 calories, which may sound like a lot, but I know Iāll binge otherwise. I can work my way down from there. I can definitely do this.
shitpost - not a professional quotemaker or anything
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9" | CW Fat | GW 115 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 10:04:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cx004/shitpost_not_a_professional_quotemaker_or_anything/
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In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony God's blessing, but because I am fasting. ššš
[Rant/Rave] Beating my flair
/u/blewlurker [5'3 | 125 | 22.1 | F | 18]
Created: Tue Sep 4 10:03:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cwzk5/beating_my_flair/
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Like my flair says, my CW was 125 at some point but then I got into a nasty binge cycle and I def gained like 10-12 lbs. Iāve been successfully restricting for about 2 months. I recently came back to school and I didnāt want to bring my scale because i get too obsessive about it. Iāve noticed my clothes are bigger on me and my friends have complimented me on my weight loss so logically I knew I lost weight but I finally broke down and bought one to see. This was this morning after three days of eating & drinking and I weighed in at 124.6, even after a big breakfast!!! Iām so proud of myself strangely even after eating a shit ton this weekend. Iām finally back at what my CW says and Iām probably lower without all of the water retention and bloating. Itās also encouraging me to not weigh myself as often and that I can lose weight without being a slave to my scale!!!
[Goal] Overcame my gym anxiety!!!
/u/thingsarestranger [5ā2ā | CW: 125 | -35 | GW:95 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 09:50:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cwurb/overcame_my_gym_anxiety/
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Used to be in the gym 5-7 days a week then this past month I found it hard to go at all and went maybe 1-3 times. Ended up having a 2-3 week streak where I didnāt go at all. Finally got over it and went back today. Only did 30 mind cardio and burned 300 cals but itās a good start. Binge free September has started off meh I havenāt binged but I have eaten a lot more than Iād like to.
[Intro] Found somewhere I feel safe
/u/Kittyscatsspeed [5'5 | CW: 11 st 12 | TW: 10 st | Female :cat_blep:]
Created: Tue Sep 4 09:49:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cwucf/found_somewhere_i_feel_safe/
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Hey, I've finally found somewhere I can talk about my illness. I've got other MH issues, that have caused me to be on pysch drugs that have made me balloon. This has raised my old bulimia and anorexia, as well as body dysmorphia. I'm not telling my pysch about it, even though I have weekly meetings, she is proud I'm exercising, if only she knew the half of it. I see myself as a whale so I have started under 500 cals, ive lost 4 pounds in 4 days! Im finally out of my low where I didnt have the energy to exercise and I'm burning off most the calories I eat.
I'm struggling with what I can eat to keep me under 500, if anyone has any ideas help. Im not really eating but with my meds and not eating im starting to feel faint. So i need something low calorie yet filling.
Thank you guys for being so understanding and non judgemental. My SO is aware how far this can go and is starting to worry. Im ignoring his pleas because I know he wants me to lose weight.
Dinner party hosting PANIC
/u/PermanentHysteria
Created: Tue Sep 4 09:24:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cwlz3/dinner_party_hosting_panic/
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My parents are coming over tomorrow for dinner. I just found out and am nervous. What do normal people eat? My SO is fighting some unresolved food allergies and meat is one of my fear foods. My question is, 1) what is a normal meal template, and 2) what are some foods I can make to serve?
My parents know about my ED so every time they come over, I go a little overboard trying to prove I'm normal. This is a farce. I have no idea what normal people eat.
I eat a one-pot rice/beans/veg meal on the daily so doing multiple dishes is stressing me out. Is roast chicken, baked potatoes, and salad an acceptable meal?
Is chicken okay or should I do pork chops or fish? If so, how to season?
Do I need to serve a bread basket? What is a gluten free alternative?
Do people eat dessert after dinner everyday or just on holidays?
Do tasty low-cal gluten-free desserts exist?
What else should I be aware of?
omg ive had to put new holes in my belt and im so happy
/u/dreamtforyears [5'9 | GW: 100 | -44 | 15M]
Created: Tue Sep 4 09:20:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cwkpo/omg_ive_had_to_put_new_holes_in_my_belt_and_im_so/
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so today was my first actual day back at school after like 6 weeks of summer
before that break, i was struggling to get my belt to the last hole, and sometimes i wouldnt even make it and go second to last
now over the break i wasnt noticing *any* change at all, like i thought i looked *exactly* the same as when it started, so i thought my belt'd be fine for the first day back
anyway, this morning my trousers were literally falling to my ankles if i didnt hold them up, and even the last hole on my belt didnt feel secure enough to hold em up
i know it sounds so stupid and small but its really validating to me lol, literally one of the biggest reasons i wanted to lose weight was because i hated the amount of space i felt i took up just by existing, and this just shows that im getting smaller and im really happy about it lol
[Rant/Rave] Rant
/u/suckkira505
Created: Tue Sep 4 09:09:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cwh48/rant/
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I am so unbelievable scared to go to school tommorow. They're gonna measure us and weigh us so our uniforms fit well. Since they announced this, the only thing i can think about is how i am gonna be emarassed in front of others because of my weight and measurements. It's driving me crazy. I have never thought about buying laxatives but i need to have lower weight so i bought them. I can't think of anything worse, some older students said that we will have to get in to our underwear so they can get the perfect measurements. For real i am so stressed and stress makes me eat even more. Oh god i hate myself for being so fat... anyone feels the same?
Ps: i am sorry about my english, it's not my first language
[Discussion] Jealousy
/u/Lilith-Rising [5'7'' (170cm)|F|CW:165|GW:130]
Created: Tue Sep 4 09:02:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cwevy/jealousy/
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Do you experience jealousy, and how does this interact with your ED? How do you cope with jealousy? Iām a self-aware and introspective lass, but when it comes to envy, it consumes me. I see beautiful thin and smol women, especially on insta, and Iām almost angry(not at them of course lol). Iām in therapy but Iām just wondering what you do thatās effective to cope.
Itās not healthy which is why Iām asking, but the best I can do is frame it like āDonāt be jealous, you will be that delicate and beautiful too, soon enough. Just donāt eat until then(btw which I think isnāt a concern bc Iām overweight anyway so restricting and fasting is healthy at this point so itās kinda laughable).ā Itās the only thought that can soothe my distress. Itās constant anxiety and envy when Iām around thin women, I canāt think of anything else. Iāve literally always been this way, Iāve only just noticed how deep the feeling goes. Itās my biggest aesthetic inadequacy.
[Intro] First Post
/u/shortLavender [5'3 | cw:127 | gw1: 125 | gw2: 120 | ugw: 110]
Created: Tue Sep 4 08:40:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cw7hf/first_post/
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(long time lurker etc...)
Made this profile since the husband knows my other one and I would like to start posting here. I don't have anyone I can talk to about this stuff and this community is really supportive. This isn't my first go-round, but last time I was much younger and had a close friend that I was able to talk, restrict, c/s, and over exercise with. She has since fully recovered and that was many years ago. This time I thought I could do it all alone, but with no one to even share the small victories or stresses with, I am feeling more frustrated with my plateaus. It also feels much more secretive, but since I am really the only one who KNOWS it also feels like I am more under a microscope. Sorry for the rambling, I have never posted to Reddit or participated in a community like this one and just wanted to make initial contact with hopes that it will at least temporarily make me feel better :)
[Goal] I fit into a uk 10 in jeans!
/u/softdyke
Created: Tue Sep 4 08:27:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cw3hg/i_fit_into_a_uk_10_in_jeans/
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I have been overweight since I was about 14 and my goal had been to fit into a uk size 10 pair of jeans!!!! I carry most of my weight on my lower half and I canāt believe I reached this goal!!!! Still a long way to go but I have lost over 40lbs and I can finally see a difference!!! Also the jeans were top shop so even better !!!
[Discussion] cucumber snack ideas?
/u/iluvmnms [164cm (5'4) | 50.2kg (110lbs) | 18.7 | GW: 47 (103lbs) | 18F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 08:10:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cvyg4/cucumber_snack_ideas/
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I've had the most weirdest craving for cucumbers and just saw a post about eating them with sriracha sauce which sounds sooo yummy. I'm not much of a cook but would love for anyone to share any prepping ideas or weird combos that would spice these lil babies up!!
[Discussion] I just want to say something about the ED community:
/u/iidktorii
Created: Tue Sep 4 07:48:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cvrn2/i_just_want_to_say_something_about_the_ed/
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Well, not specifically the reddit community, I'm talking about the ED community as a whole and everyone who suffers. You guys (or we..) are the most kind and accepting community I have ever come across. We are honestly such beautiful souls. We are dying and suffering and we just spread kindness and love to each other and others and I think its just so beautiful. Like I feel that we truly accept everyone for who they are and we our differences as as beauty and confront everyone with love and care whereas others view differences as flaws and confront them with hatred and aggression. Whenever I go to an ED community whether or be here, on tumblr, maybe YouTube even, I just find myself feeling somewhat grateful that I am included in such a wonderful group of people all over the world.
I ate probably 6k calories over my 4 day weekend. That's double what I've been eating per week lately :( buttttt
/u/gorgingpuddle
Created: Tue Sep 4 07:32:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cvmx3/i_ate_probably_6k_calories_over_my_4_day_weekend/
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Man, fasting after all that food this weekend feels great. I have that gnawing hunger feeling back in my stomach from eating and then ceasing, but not the mental "omg, must eat now" feeling I've had in the past. Usually, day 1 of a fast is the hardest mentally for me ...but today, I feel nice about it. I kinda enjoy that hunger, and being able to resist it.
I'm not trying to brag or make you feel bad if you're having a hard time with whatever you have going on, because believe me...it's usually not this easy to start fasting after eating again, lol. I just feel really happy that I have some self control again. Saying "no" after all that is super satisfying.
6k might not seem like a lot of calories, but considering at least 1.5k of that was from alcohol....yeah. whoops.
[Rant/Rave] I hate being so fixated on food!
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Tue Sep 4 07:21:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cvjf9/i_hate_being_so_fixated_on_food/
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Restricting makes me so crazy obsessed with food and it is the WORST. Over summer Iāve ended up eating normally for most of the time - obviously that started in binging but I got to the stage where I was eating when hungry and I could legitimately turn down food. Now Iām back to restriction I kick myself for all the food I turned down! I just hate it. I hate being hungry and I want to eat so badly, so many wonderful foods! Even earlier my mum offered to make grilled cheese and I turned it down bc the thought of the calories was way too high - I wanted the grilled cheese so fucking bad but my wish to be skinny wins higher I guess.
This is such a rant - I apologise, but Iām just really fed up of food being my every thought. Why the hell cant I be normal :(
[Goal] Finally Completed My First 24 Hour Fast! And then binged and gained 2lbs
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Tue Sep 4 07:20:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cvj6f/finally_completed_my_first_24_hour_fast_and_then/
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Well i finally did it. I completed my first 24 hour fast. and then my boyfriend took on an amazing date and i ended up gaining 2lbs. But now that i know i can do it...FASTING HERE I COME
[Help] Effect of gaining weight on breast size?
/u/kernalmustache [169cm ā | CW 105lbs | BMI 16.7 | SW 130lbs šø]
Created: Tue Sep 4 06:46:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cv9vs/effect_of_gaining_weight_on_breast_size/
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So like, when you gain weight does it tend to be proportional, as in 2 inches to bust at the same time as 2 inches to underbust? I'm a 26D now, so if I gain weight could I reasonably expect to become like a 30D?
[Rant/Rave] My friend who also has an ED, makes sure I eat even though she doesnāt herself
/u/EvenRainbowsScream [4'11 | SW:117| CW:106 | GW:85 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 06:36:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cv73o/my_friend_who_also_has_an_ed_makes_sure_i_eat/
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From the title, itās pretty self explanatory. My friend and I are open about our emotions and the things that are going through our life, one of them being our eating disorder.
Sheās a bit on the heavier side but when it comes to food, she eats nothing. Sheāll drink 4 cups of coffee and 96oz of red bull. I try to tell her there are alternatives like tea instead of red bull since it can be very damaging to her heart, but she ignores me.
Itās so hypocritical of her to ask me to eat when Iām not looking to recover and still in the process of getting to my goal weight. I know she cares about me but weāre both in the same situation and understand why our goals are..
Has anyone else dealt with this?
[Rant/Rave] I see normal size girls and think, "Holy shit she's so thin and beautiful." And then I realize she's just normal, but I see them as something amazing.
/u/Ironicbanana14
Created: Tue Sep 4 06:34:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cv6nt/i_see_normal_size_girls_and_think_holy_shit_shes/
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I probably see them with such amazement and admiration because I know i can never be like them and im past the stage of jealousy into acceptance.
Thin girls or even just slightly overweight girls look so much better than me, they look so good with thin arms and tight, tanned skin. Hipbones and collar bones, wrists, jawline, all the simple little beautiful dainty things I wish i could have. I admire them as people and almost like an art piece I will never be able to afford. And just like an art piece, im afraid to hug any thin person out of fear of hurting them or them feeling how fat I really am...
I just hope they realize how blessed they are, and if they somehow went through the same struggle as us, then I really hope they can see how beautiful they are.
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday September 04, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 4 06:10:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cv0kw/thinspo_tuesday_september_04_2018/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
Daily Food Diary! September 04, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 4 06:10:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cv0j8/daily_food_diary_september_04_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for September 04, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
waking up super bloated
/u/relativeletter6 [161cm | 54.2kg | gw 50kg]
Created: Tue Sep 4 05:13:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cuno4/waking_up_super_bloated/
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gah. these shorts are typically slightly loose and now they fit perfectly. i dunno why iām so bloated. period is 2 weeks away, ate <1000 i of fairly low-volume food yesterday, currently 17 hours fasted, drank 3 litres of water yesterday. so fucking WHY this is so annoying. i wasnāt even bloated when i went to sleep.
i havenāt weighed yet, canāt till i get home later so another ~10 hours and hopefully itās gone down by then and iām back to normal but i look like iāve gained 5 pounds and i want to die
anyone else wake up bloated for no fucking reason?
Fucking hate my sister (triggering af)
/u/BEDBulimic [153cm | CW: 55.8 | GW1: 55 | -8.2 | 20F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 05:10:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cumz3/fucking_hate_my_sister_triggering_af/
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Sorry canāt flair as rant since Iām on mobile.
My sister caught me eating ONE handful of granola straight from the pantry.
I wasnāt even going to embark on a full blown binge, and she knows I eat absolute junk when I do.
She fucking RECORDS ME on her phone and is fucking AFFRONTED and FILMS ME FOR 5 MINUTES FORCING ME TO EXPLAIN MYSELF and interrogatig me about what Iām doing. Sheās shaking with the self righteous indignation of a āI want to speak to the managerā type of mom.
She sends this clip to my mom, who knows I emotionally eat (and yes Iām pretty stressed rn from exams). Thank god my momās in a good supportive spell so she helped calm me down and let me off the hook.
Iām fucking triggered and I hate her. I am already ashamed eating normal, healthy food and she does this shit. At least now Iām motivated to fast for the next few days out of spite- sheās trying to lose weight too and I have to beat her, since sheās the one who made this a fucking competition to begin with.
Fuck her.
How much does ana slow down BMR?
/u/heyimbored_
Created: Tue Sep 4 05:04:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9culj3/how_much_does_ana_slow_down_bmr/
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So I read something online saying that extreme dieting/fasting damaged the metabolism quite a bit so I was wondering if anyone knows if itās true, and how much?
I just discovered this song. So relatable, but in a sick twisted way, this motivates me to keep my fast going. ([TW] because I haven't watched the video)
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 258 | Goal: 250 | 40.9 | 30 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 04:59:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cukh1/i_just_discovered_this_song_so_relatable_but_in_a/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36QMyiRAv-Y
Has anyone ate the same thing or at the same place everyday for a month?
/u/PM_ME_BrusselSprouts [5'3" | CW: 165 | BMI: 30.0 | 33, F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 04:46:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cuhx8/has_anyone_ate_the_same_thing_or_at_the_same/
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Just got a new job that's quite exhausting, there is a Subway on the way home. Thinking about getting a veggie sub everyday as my one meal. I would do it with Chipotle but that's a bit out of my way. Just wondering everyone's experiences.
Chia seeds wtf???
/u/ImpishImp
Created: Tue Sep 4 04:35:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cufo6/chia_seeds_wtf/
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I've always put chia seeds in everything, lately my favorite was unsweetened applesauce with chia seeds and cinnamon, I just thought to look at the nutrition facts. 160 cals per 2 tbsp??? And 10 grams of fat?!?! Holy shit I hate myself.
[Discussion] How do you deal with weight gain?
/u/BlondeActually [Height 5ā4 | CW 94| BMI 16.1| HW 120| LW 89| GW 88 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 04:11:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cuao5/how_do_you_deal_with_weight_gain/
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Having gained about 5 pounds and visibly being a bit larger to the point where my jeans are now a bit uncomfortable and my face is slightly rounder, Iām back in full restriction mode but I feel so shit about the weight gain. I donāt want to see anybody that I know in case they comment, Iām embarrassed for being a failure and giving in to one too many binges. I feel ashamed to show my face in public until Iām back down to 95 pounds.
How do you deal with slightly visible weight gain? Do you wear your biggest clothes to stay comfy or squeeze into your skinny jeans? What do you say when people comment that you look ābetterā now, or respond when they tell you that you look āhealthierā or you āwere too thinā before?
It feels like the only reason I eat anymore is to remind myself how much I hate eating
/u/littledeadkitty
Created: Tue Sep 4 04:10:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cuaiq/it_feels_like_the_only_reason_i_eat_anymore_is_to/
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Has anyone on here ever gone back to long term restriction after a prolonged binge/restrict cycle?
/u/PM_M3_UR_SECRETS [163cm | CW 48kg | GW 45kg | HW 80kg]
Created: Tue Sep 4 04:05:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cu9fr/has_anyone_on_here_ever_gone_back_to_long_term/
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I was doing so well restricting a while ago, I reached two of my GWs and was feeling in control. Then I had a protein deficiency and was made to up my protein intake drastically by my doctor and I've been in a horrible binge/restrict cycle ever since. I binge for 2-3 days, fast for 2 days, restrict for 2-3 days and then it starts all over again.
I've tried upping my daily calories, but I can't force myself to stop counting calories or eating at maintenance longterm. I've been pretty much maintaining at my first GW, but it doesn't feel good enough anymore because it's not my lowest. And I'm constantly bloated and puffy from binging.
Has anyone ever gotten out of this cycle and felt in control again? I'm starting to lose hope that I ever will tbh and it feels so fucking horrible. I feel so fat and weak willed, and my anorexia diagnosis feels so wrong and fake because what kind of anorexic stuffs their fucking face like this? I'm around like a 17.8 BMI now I think, so technically I don't even qualify anymore. It's so stupid and it seems so ridiculous (because who the fuck wants to have any kind of eating disorder, whether it's binge eating or anorexia) but I honestly just want to go back to when I was in control and not the disgusting binge monster inside me.
[Rant/Rave] Kill Me Right Now: 6 pounds in 3 days
/u/_Pulltab_ [5' 7| CW 165.4 | BMI 25.9 | -30.6 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 03:58:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cu7rc/kill_me_right_now_6_pounds_in_3_days/
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This weekend was a total trash fire. It went from a controlled burn to an all out inferno. I had breakfast with a friend on Saturday, which I knew would lead to me wanting to eat all day so I was like, fuck it, Iāll just be cool and it will be fine. We wound up going out to dinner and I ate a giant appetizer of avocado egg roles, tons of bread, etc.
Sunday we were on the road and food options were limited so I was like, fuck it, just one meal, who cares if itās bad except we got home late that evening and I proceeded to vacuum up a bunch of bullshit food.
Yesterday we had family over and I was like, fuck it, this whole weekend has been a train wreck. Iāll start fresh tomorrow when everything is back under control and I ate chips and corn and potato salad and like 4 cookies.
Since I normally do keto, and ate ALL the carbs this weekend, I knew I would see a gain related to water/inflammation, and I KNOW itās not possible that I gained more than an actual pound or so of fat (I know what it takes to gain a pound of fat and while I ate a lot, I didnāt eat THAT much). And I knew weighing myself this morning would be the biggest of mindfucks because the scale was going to lie. And I did it anyway. Because I am not rational or reasonable.
So. 6 pounds in 3 days. Actually, 6.4 pounds. Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] I lost the weight I gained from binging and am still fat.
/u/twa1238
Created: Tue Sep 4 03:49:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cu62m/i_lost_the_weight_i_gained_from_binging_and_am/
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I donāt get it. I am 500gram over my starting weight (before I started to binge for months) and I looked healthy and good before. Not skinny but thin enough for me to be happy. (I hadnāt had an issue with my ED for a long time then so that might have helped)
Then it came back and I started to gain weight and felt terrible and gross. Lost almost all the weight now. But I look FATTER????????
I went on the scale today and saw that I reached the goal I set up a month ago but I didnāt feel happy or motivated at all.
I take progress pictures for like two years now, just to know what I look like with different weights, and I canāt see even a tiny difference between my fattest time (five kilos more than now) and now????? I see my clothes are loose and I see the scale and all but I donāt SEE it.
It drives me crazy. My legs look okay in the mirror but when I look down I canāt believe how fat I am. I had to drive home again yesterday to change my tight jeans into a long skirt because I suddenly noticed I look like a whale.My wrists look tiny and kinda gross honestly when I look at them when Iām around others but my arms in general are so FAT. My collarbones are there, i can feel them poking out but when I look in the mirror theyāre just...gone??? Can I be bloated on my shoulders? What?
I donāt know where all the weight is hiding, I mean I know a few kilos are gone but it seems like my body doesnāt know????
No one commented on my weight loss but to be honest I donāt think anyone cares about me enough to look so thatās not the best argument maybe.
Is it possible I only lost muscles and all my fat is still there? Last time I lost my binge weight in a short time I exercised 6 times a week but I canāt do that right now and am too weak to even get in my steps some days.
[Rant/Rave] Mias are tougher than US Marines
/u/whatsacal
Created: Tue Sep 4 03:11:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ctyr6/mias_are_tougher_than_us_marines/
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got a stomach virus and spent the last two days just puking over and over and over again. as a super-restrictive ana I thought I was tough, but you mia folks are next level
the whole time I kept thinking "see this is why we dont eat in the first place, putting up with this regularly is next level"
so shout out to the purgers, you're harder than nails
[Discussion] i can't keep doing this forever. (post-binge thoughts and a goodbye for now)
/u/scornedcinnamon
Created: Tue Sep 4 02:53:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ctvc2/i_cant_keep_doing_this_forever_postbinge_thoughts/
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i just had one of the biggest binges i've ever personally experienced at 12:30 in the morning and i just feel like letting my thoughts out. i can just feel the food sitting in my stomach and know that i'll be super bloated when i wake up. i've been lurking on here since the beginning of my relapse this summer and have actually found this subreddit to be a really supportive place despite only being here for a short time. for some reason, this particular binge made me really stop and think about what this summer has been like for me. restricting for a few weeks only to binge for the weeks after. rinse and repeat.
i go back to college in a few weeks and i just get so much anxiety at the thought of my food situation there. i get so much anxiety when i'm at the market wanting to buy all of the snacks but being worried i'll binge on it so i get nothing, but i binge on my family's food later. i get so much anxiety looking at nutritional facts at food i'll never eat. i get so much anxiety thinking about going out to restaurants and dreaming what i'll order on yelp. i get so much anxiety at the thought of my relationship with food when i'm older.
i thought i had the recovery thing down when i recovered the first time but i'm human and i have an eating disorder. this subreddit has actually provided me with a community where i feel others will understand (and has reintroduced me to pickles and kombucha). that being said, even though i haven't been here for a long time, i will be leaving this account indefinitely to try and sort out my relationship with food. my head is fighting this so badly and i want to get back to restricting but i feel like that will be my one way ticket to rebounding. i hope i will be able to maintain around the weight i am now because if i average out my restriction and binge days, it is around my supposed maintenance, but a girl can dream.
wishing you all the best and hoping you all stay safe. thank you.
[Rant/Rave] Binged with a waist trainer on!
/u/congratty
Created: Tue Sep 4 02:41:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ctt2q/binged_with_a_waist_trainer_on/
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(Rave) i feel SO FULL on so little rn, i planned on eating a lot but i only had a 270 cal sandwich and a little bit of chicken soup and two mini cookies (probably about 600/700 cal total) and i can hardly breathe. honestly whatās wrong with me? why do i break fasts by eating until i canāt breathe lmfaoo but at least i donāt have to clear my pantry when i have an urge
I ate 300cals in the last two days and still feel like a walking sack of lard
/u/JayLenoBlows [literal sack of human garbage]
Created: Tue Sep 4 02:00:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ctlij/i_ate_300cals_in_the_last_two_days_and_still_feel/
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What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't I feel ok about myself even though I'm underweight?
[Rant/Rave] I Can't Believe I Fucking Hate Food Even Though It's So Good
/u/pugsaremydrugs [Height 5'8" | CW 114 | BMI 17.3 | Weight Lost 3 | Gender Male]
Created: Tue Sep 4 01:47:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ctixs/i_cant_believe_i_fucking_hate_food_even_though/
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All through this fucking week I've been looking at pictures of food on Tumblr and Reddit. Fatty, great, sugary foods; hamburgers, pizza, and the worst is cheese.
Before I became whatever the fuck I am now I used to love cheese so much. I used to know lots of types, technical terms, histories, the places they're made. I bought at least two blocks a month, and now I realize they're probably filled with calories.
Even when I get to points that near recovery I think of cheese and then I go back to thinking of only calories.
Invent negative calorie gouda please
[Discussion] DAE have other dysmorphias?
/u/ManicPixieBallerina
Created: Tue Sep 4 00:52:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ct7nu/dae_have_other_dysmorphias/
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So apparently my hands don't look the same to me as they do to other people. I see short, kinda stubby, and very childish looking hands.
But other people are seeing something else. Ladylike, elegant, and "piano hands" are common ones. But just looking at my hands I don't see it most of the time. Occasionally, I see it, in flashes around a thin stemmed wine glass, with long, painted nails (though not anymore, no more nails), practicing keyboard, but only for a few seconds.
The only thing I know for sure is I have small hands, that or XS are the size of gloves that get thrown at me, and my ring size is 4.75. I don't know what I look like, and up until recently when I brought up the hand thing nobody believed me, and now it's only 3 maybe 4 people who believe me about my hand thing.
I'm so confused.
[Help] Australian Multivitamins?
/u/sleepyperi [5'2" | CW: 155 | GW: 100 | 20F]
Created: Tue Sep 4 00:32:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ct3tp/australian_multivitamins/
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Basically title. Do any Australians here have recommendations for multivitamins I can buy? Or non-Australians: what should I be looking for in a quality multivitamin?
[Rant/Rave] Food = Energy = Power
/u/PhoneWalletSanity [156cm/5'1.5| 100 lbs| 19.4| 18F| Exploring Recovery]
Created: Mon Sep 3 23:49:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9csvbx/food_energy_power/
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I'll admit, eating two scoops of ice cream at 1:00 am wasn't exactly a super meal.
But it gave me the energy to go through every single photo of my ex that I've kept hidden in my phone for months, put them all in a folder on Google Drive and delete all 118 of them off my phone. I looked at every picture, even the ones of us together and still haven't cried.
Yes, a lot of the motivation behind this came from my supportive group of friends but having something I genuinely enjoy in my system gave me that final push to free myself of him and the rest of the "friends" I made a year ago.
Despite knowing I ate 600 calories, I feel very little guilt or regret. This time six months ago I'd eat a nutritious 300 calorie bowl of oatmeal and still feel like I "wasted" those calories.
Food gave me the power to be free of parts of a dark year. While I'm not even close to recovered yet, this was one huge step in the right direction
how many calories are actually absorbed when c/sing?
/u/altoristics [5ā3 | cw 109 | bmi 19.85 | ugw 95 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 23:49:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9csv85/how_many_calories_are_actually_absorbed_when_csing/
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i just c/sed some fries and Iām wondering like what % of cals do you actually take in?
[Rant/Rave] how the hell do i spend $1000 on food?
/u/peachypeachy9 [5'6.75" | CW: 136 | GW: 110 | F18]
Created: Mon Sep 3 23:36:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9csspl/how_the_hell_do_i_spend_1000_on_food/
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my university requires me to be on a meal plan. this includes a prepaid $1000 to spend at dining locations and food retail stuff around campus. theres 15 weeks in the semester.
i have no idea what im gonna do. spend it on starbucks and diet coke? i cant think of any nonperishable + available in shitty-gas-station-type of store foods that are good for restriction.
Ok google, how do i drown out my sorrows with vodka without the calories?
/u/deadpetz [6' 0" | CW: 149 | 20.2 BMI | 112.8 Lbs Lost | Male]
Created: Mon Sep 3 23:34:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cssac/ok_google_how_do_i_drown_out_my_sorrows_with/
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seriously
[Help] Relationships and EDs
/u/monstersona
Created: Mon Sep 3 23:06:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9csmmm/relationships_and_eds/
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So the other day I was making these special low cal brownies I like and messed up the measurements. My boyfriend said to add more water but that just made it runny. He said "So just add more flower or something" and I started hyperventilating because with these I know how many calories are in them. If I added more flour or cocoa I wouldn't know for sure and it was really freaking me out and when my freak out was over he told me I need to start seeing a support group or something. He said he was really worried and scared and he started to cry and say "this is seriously taking a toll on us." Weve been together for 7 years and hes known all this time Ive had an ED but its never been this bad. I know hes right but the very idea of eating more than 200 calories a day drives me into panic mode and Im scared hes gonna get fed up and leave me. I know that might be unrealistic but Im so paranoid and insecure ALL THE TIME that this has got me so on edge. Hes my rock and he tries to tell me he loves how I am everytime I pull out my scale but Im so so terrified hes gonna leave soon. Does anyone else have any advice or experience with this?
I knew ana was ruining me but I didnt expect it to ruin us too. I really want to recover but I could never do that before reaching my UGW. Can anyone help me? Or at least talk to me. Thanks.
[Rant/Rave] Big personal victory: turned down work lunches for the rest of the year
/u/linedryonly [5'5"ā| CW 133 | SW 145 | LW 102 | GW 110]
Created: Mon Sep 3 23:03:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9csm01/big_personal_victory_turned_down_work_lunches_for/
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I started a new job in February and workplace lunches have been a huge trigger for me. I live in Korea where communal lunches are a big part of the workplace and it's frowned upon to sit them out. I tried to stick it out, but I was getting triggered so bad- no way to measure or calculate calories, don't know what we're having until moments before, social pressure for not cleaning my plate, etc. It was torture.
So yesterday I notified my employer that I will no longer be part of communal lunches. My boss is mad at me, but I don't care. My level of anxiety is so much lower now that I don't have to worry so much about food at work.
It's a small thing, but I'm really proud of myself:)
[Discussion] Scale anxiety
/u/monstersona
Created: Mon Sep 3 22:40:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9csgsz/scale_anxiety/
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Every morning I weigh myself and for some reason tonight I'm terrified to go to sleep bc in the morning I'll have to weigh myself and even though I ate under goal today I feel like Im going to have gained weight. Does anybody else have this problem, an overwhelming fear of weighing yourself, even when by yourself? How do you handle it?
Right know, in this moment, I want so bad to be curvy, sexy or some kind of normalweight. 5 minutes later "omg i am fat"
/u/tryllebukser
Created: Mon Sep 3 22:34:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9csfif/right_know_in_this_moment_i_want_so_bad_to_be/
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I feel fat and disgusting or sometimes bony and disgusting. There is no where in between. Im thinking about eating something rn but i know the fat feeling will appear with the food in my stomach. I know im not the only one. Just really sick of it
gotta love triggering yourself
/u/scaledrops [5'8" | CW: too much | i do art | F16]
Created: Mon Sep 3 22:26:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9csduo/gotta_love_triggering_yourself/
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why do i even go on tumblr at this point
i know ill spend hours scrolling through thinspo and just eventually turning to my sketchbooks because holy crap i just wanna look like that
my best friend has a bmi of 18 because he's tall and just naturally lanky and skinny, like?? give me that holy shit.
thanks for coming to my ted talk
Why am I such a wide set bitch!!!!
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 22:05:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cs925/why_am_i_such_a_wide_set_bitch/
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Mama always told me I have birthing hips.. too bad even when I was underweight they just stayed. Damn it I don't even want kids why they gotta be so damn WIDE. I never see thinspo with wider set women, I always see long lean ballet girls (which is obvi what i want, but bitch I cant have it) I feel stout... i know I'm relatively tall compared to some of you lucky 5 ft cuties, but i feel like i lool like a tall dwarf. Broad shoulder wide set ass mother fucking genes. Unless my bmi is like 16 i dont think i could even touch a size 0. BUT LIKE HELL IF I WON'T TRY. Since relapse I went from 146 to 132 in two and a half weeks, so at least there is something I'm doing right for now. Sorry for the rant, other wide set people plzzz vent back to me. Make me feel less alone here
[Help] water weight is the WORST
/u/pringlesbutthole [6ā0|CW:116.6|BMI:15.2|20]
Created: Mon Sep 3 22:01:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cs85i/water_weight_is_the_worst/
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weighed myself this morning at 116.6, got super excited bc I havenāt been that low in months. i just kept repeating ā116.6ā in my head all day, i felt so tiny and clean. i drank nothing but water and energy drinks. just got home, weighed myself at 118.7. lmao Iām pissed.
iāve always had really bad problems with bloating, no matter what it is I eat. idk if there are any reliable ways to prevent water retention, but any tips?
[Rant/Rave] Bad but relatable? Poetry
/u/rubytwilights
Created: Mon Sep 3 21:54:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cs6ri/bad_but_relatable_poetry/
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I never post here but Iāve been lurking for a while, also Iām in a Mood and wrote some shitty slam poetry about how my ex only made my EDās worse. Just tell me if you hate it or if I shouldnāt be posting it here I guess
Anything It Takes To Feel Something
Hungry? No.
Full? Never.
I can eat and eat until my pants are bursting but I still canāt fill the emptiness she left in me.
Even trying the āless is moreā and leaving my esophagus an open door helps nothing.
Letting only water fall down the rabbit hole into my deprived digestive system at least gives me something I can control.
But this isnāt Alice in Wonderland.
The only mad hatter here is myself.
I want to be filled with her touch, her lips, her attention, her love.
But instead I shove and shove food into my gaping mouth until the conveyor belt turns in reverse and suddenly Iām even more empty than I was before.
I sit on the bathroom floor, crying and wondering when or if Iāll be able to endure life without her.
[Rant/Rave] watching call me by your name and got triggered
/u/bigbeyoncefan
Created: Mon Sep 3 21:54:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cs6n7/watching_call_me_by_your_name_and_got_triggered/
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Iāve been trying to recover my restricting eating habits but i got high and started watching cmbyn and man oh man! Elios body is making me go insane and the fact heās shirtless half the movie smh...heās definitely how I want to look like once I lose weight, and Iām a girl idk why my ideal body for myself is a lanky twink???
Being around others who are eating
/u/passionmango82
Created: Mon Sep 3 21:29:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cs14m/being_around_others_who_are_eating/
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The people around me get extremely uncomfortable when I'm not eating something and they are (e.g lunch breaks). How do I distract them from the fact I'm not eating or... What are some very low calorie foods I can bring with me to eat in front of them? At the moment I am eating one meal a day (dinner).
[Other] Guess who limped 11,000 steps with a broken toe? šš»āāļøšš»āāļøšš»āāļø
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 115 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 20:50:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9crrxf/guess_who_limped_11000_steps_with_a_broken_toe/
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Iām such a dumb ass and my big toe hurts even more but at least I got my steps in. Why tf am I like this?
Tomorrow is a new day
/u/littledutchbird [24F|5'8"|150 lbs|BMI 22.5|-35 lbs]
Created: Mon Sep 3 20:48:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9crrfy/tomorrow_is_a_new_day/
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Labour day weekend is over and I'm starting over. I am more than my food cravings. I am bigger than them. I can control them. I can fast. I'll show them. Please help me, I need all the support. Food is a bad friend.
help! how do i keep sugarfree gum from hurting my stomach?
/u/bayareagoddess
Created: Mon Sep 3 20:32:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9crncr/help_how_do_i_keep_sugarfree_gum_from_hurting_my/
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i used to chew gum a lot in high school, as an oral fixation thing and as an appetite surpressant (5 gum reactmint flavor all day lmaooo). i had to take a break from all gum after a particularly bad upset stomach and bathroom adventure.
i want to start chewing gum again so i don't eat all day at school. what are the best ways to keep the gum from messing with my stomach/making me go to the bathroom? i'm assuming drinking more water will help but is there anything else?
[Rant/Rave] My dad/family ate the best parts of the food I was gonna binge on tonight so I said screw it, went to bed hungry, and gonna start watching Insatiable instead.
/u/pinkie-pie-promise
Created: Mon Sep 3 20:11:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9crihs/my_dadfamily_ate_the_best_parts_of_the_food_i_was/
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https://i.redd.it/i2oojyxor4k11.jpg
My doctor weighs me tomorrow and Iām screwed.
/u/sonospaventato
Created: Mon Sep 3 20:02:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9crg2y/my_doctor_weighs_me_tomorrow_and_im_screwed/
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I saw her on Thursday and she told me if I lose too much before Tuesday she would recommend group therapy š I liked her, but looks like after I get my implant Iāll be looking for another doctor lol.
[Discussion] Salt Craving?
/u/installmentplan [5'0" | 143 | 28.1 | -19 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 19:59:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9crfgg/salt_craving/
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Does anyone else get uncontrollable salt cravings? Like driven to the point of just eating salt straight? I've been doing it a lot lately and the bloat is unreal.
stress relief??
/u/problemproblem420 [5'6''| 125| 20.2 | 19F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 19:57:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9crexv/stress_relief/
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i got 4 hrs of sleep last night and then had class from 8-4 and came home feeling so stressed---so naturally i decided to let myself indulge ED voice as reward??? wtf?? i went to the grocery store and walked around for an hour and a half looking at food that i did not buy. i layed in bed and read ED stuff for hours. i feel too weak to go do anything else but resolving to eat something makes my stomach turn. somehow this makes me feel like im relieving my stress, when i know i am doing the opposite! maybe it is cuz its easier to listen to that voice then to not?
does anyone else do this?? am i just digging myself deeper into the hole??
[Rant/Rave] I ate a normal serving and my mom brought it up.
/u/milk-and-honie
Created: Mon Sep 3 19:56:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cremk/i_ate_a_normal_serving_and_my_mom_brought_it_up/
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My mom got pizza for the first time in two months, she served herself first. I didnāt eat breakfast or lunch, so I grabbed three (I know I shouldnāt have...god, the calories).
The second I pick up the third slice she says:
āLeave some for the rest of us!!!ā as if she doesnāt already have two slices and some breadsticks and a coke. So now I feel doubly as shitty about eating. I literally donāt deserve to eat on the most fundamental level. Itās so lame and it makes me feel horrible but hey on the bright side I didnāt go back for more pizza or breadsticks tonight and Iām fasting for the next four days now. :,-)
What do you all think of canned soup for a lazy meal?
/u/maerynbird
Created: Mon Sep 3 19:22:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cr5qr/what_do_you_all_think_of_canned_soup_for_a_lazy/
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Hi all! I was wondering what you all thought of classic canned soup. I love cooking but calorie counting is SO exhausting and sometimes i just want to cook something up thatās warm and quick and require almost no effort. Recently canned soup has come to mind. The can already has cal counts on it too.
Low sodium varieties are an obvious choice because soup has so much sodium in it and i donāt want to retain water. If itās bland i can spice it up with my extensive spice pantry and maybe eat it with some boiled broccoli or bell pepper slices for a crunch. I already make my own soups but iām so tired after college every day since i get home late and have to immediately start on hw that it would just be easier to warm some up. I could even only use half the tin and freeze the other half for later.
What are your favorite brands of soup or some other lazy meal ideas that you have?
[Rant/Rave] Craving chips and gravy?
/u/celestialmisstep [5'4" | -37lb | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 19:09:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cr29f/craving_chips_and_gravy/
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Just drink a whole fucking mug of gravy. The whole fucking thing. Why am I like this.
[Discussion] #Discussion Does Anyone Else Feel Like Recovery is Hell?
/u/chachival
Created: Mon Sep 3 19:05:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cr194/discussion_does_anyone_else_feel_like_recovery_is/
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It could be that because Iāve been dying to binge (and subsequently purge) all day but recovery really sucks. I didnt have many close friends before recovery, and now that I am avoiding triggers I lost many friends I thought were close now. Iāve havent told anyone and itās so hard for me. I feel so alone and this is just really hard to not give in. Basically while feeling v sad and sorry for myself, how can I get through recovery while Iām completely alone in this?
I just wanna look hot when I see this guy š
/u/mks_993
Created: Mon Sep 3 19:03:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cr0ht/i_just_wanna_look_hot_when_i_see_this_guy/
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So Iām meeting up with this guy in exactly 18 days (long story, but the abbreviated version is: we matched on tinder, and our schedules donāt line up until ~2 1/2 weeks from now bc of traveling, etc)
But heās literally my DREAM GUY. Heās super hot, and heās a musician ... basically my kryptonite. Lol
Anyway, I suck at restricting normally, but when thereās an end goal in mind (like this date) Iām way more motivated.
Iām 5ā6 and my cw is 133 (bleh) but if I stick to 800-1000/day, which is probably a lot to most people here but itās the lowest I can do without ending up bingeing, how much do you think I could lose? I also do exercise (not intense cardio though, but 3-4 mile walks everyday)
Thoughts??? If I have to go lower.... I can try. I want this guy so damn bad. Hahha
iāve only eaten a clementine and drank 2 hot teas today
/u/iamacrazycatlady
Created: Mon Sep 3 18:52:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cqxng/ive_only_eaten_a_clementine_and_drank_2_hot_teas/
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why do i still feel like a fat piece of shit lol
[Rant/Rave] My roommate got the food Iāve been craving
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" | CW 119| GW 115 | UGW 110 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 18:37:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cqtp9/my_roommate_got_the_food_ive_been_craving/
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Thereās this food truck that comes on campus on weekends and they serve fries and and fried food. Iāve been craving itās since Iāve been back but I havenāt been able to bring myself to get it. So i was happy that i got to smell it. Maybe Iāll fast Thursday evening to Friday evening and eat it.
[Discussion] high cal to low cal?
/u/dollydomer [Height 5'5 | CW 109 lbs| Weight Lost 15 lbs | Gender F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 18:27:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cqr3g/high_cal_to_low_cal/
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(cant figure out a good title) what are some ways that you guys make usually high calorie foods lower cals? like making your own tortilla chips from low cal tortillas ..
[Discussion] Whatās up with the double edged sword called weight loss?
/u/AnnahxD [5'9" CW137 GW127 | F21]
Created: Mon Sep 3 18:25:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cqqgo/whats_up_with_the_double_edged_sword_called/
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Can someone please tell me why in a certain sub for progress pics if you post your end goal as still in the over weight range everyone is totally cool with that, like Iāve seen people borderline obese stating to have met their goal and no one comments BUT if you are even close to the low end of your healthy BMI everyone will call you out almost immediately? Iām talking not even officially underweight, just on the low end. What the heck is up?
Weigh-in went surprisingly well!!
/u/i-want-to-be-little [5ā2ā | 18F | CW: 117 | GW: 105]
Created: Mon Sep 3 18:15:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cqns5/weighin_went_surprisingly_well/
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So last month I was bitching on here about weigh-in for fall season of my sport. Well guess what? The scale at sports medicine is .5 pounds lower than my scale at home, and I weighed in at 116.9 pounds! I started off at 125 two weeks ago (mostly water weight but it was very stubborn water weight) and Iām so proud of myself for making it through this weight-loss sprint. Last year I was 119, so this is some progress. Most people gain weight between yearly weigh-ins, and I think this number is really good for my prospects on this team.
Iām going to go get drunk now. Hereās to a good fall season!
Does adding a flavor to a diet soda add calories?
/u/conuretrash [5'4" | 165 | rotund | -30 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 18:13:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cqni8/does_adding_a_flavor_to_a_diet_soda_add_calories/
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Hey guys, my school has a soda machine dispenser thing. It has Diet Pepsi and all the normal soda drinks. You can add flavors (vanilla, strawberry, etc.) to the diet soda but Iām not sure if this adds calories? Iāve been choosing Diet Pepsi with vanilla but now Iām freaked Iāve been adding sugar or something. Help ya peep out please :)
Scale batteries are dead and itās giving me major anxiety
/u/thingsarestranger [5ā2ā | CW: 125 | -35 | GW:95 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 18:08:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cqlsa/scale_batteries_are_dead_and_its_giving_me_major/
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I have no idea how much I weigh rn and my bf is coming to see me tonight. Iāve been eating a lot lately and Iām just afraid Iāll look super fat so I wanted to weigh myself so I can know if I gained or not. The stupid batteries died on my scale today so I have no idea how much I weigh. Torn between wearing something super baggy to look not huge (but my bf said when I wear huge clothes it isnāt āflatteringā) or wearing something form fitting to hope it slims me down. UGH. Heās going to want to have sex and i feel so uncomfortable in my disgusting fat body rn I donāt even want him to see me naked or touch me sos
[Rant/Rave] back at college, depressed
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | god help me | M]
Created: Mon Sep 3 17:53:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cqhvf/back_at_college_depressed/
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Iām 6ā2ā, 193(before today) pounds, and 19yo.
That said, I canāt fucking cope anymore. I go on Grindr just to be ghosted / sometimes weakly complimented by guys who barely looked at my photo. There are lots of times where I delusionally feel attractive enough to chat with someone but as soon as they ask me to come over I panic.
I donāt want an STI. I donāt want somebody more attractive (even if heavier) to see my body. I want to rot in my apartment with my juul and my homework and my protein bars. And then sometimes, like today, I end up binging and then I donāt even have the happiness of looking a little better the next morning.
I donāt know what to do, guys. If I get to 170lbs (sort of a GW for me) will I suddenly be capable of living somewhat normally? Will I always just be a prisoner of my own crushing thoughts? Is fixing my body enough, or is my face even worse?
Iām sorry that this isnāt really interesting content for the sub Iām just feeling so exhausted & wondered how you guys deal with intimacy / relationships while having an ED.
[Rant/Rave] My favourite thing about travelling to the USA from overseas.
/u/CalmConcern [5'9" | 54kg/119lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Sep 3 17:46:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cqg3c/my_favourite_thing_about_travelling_to_the_usa/
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... nutrition info/calories provided for most popular restaurants!! I never eat out at home if I have a choice because it makes it makes me so anxious to try to track without certainty. But i was able to eat out with a lot more ease because I could look up the nutrition information online/on the menus and plan accordingly. :')
I know this might be the norm for most countries, but it isn't in mine, so it really helped me enjoy my holiday!! Just needed to rave about this because I was so chuffed!
Anyone else in here in their 30's have BED and unable to think how they would even look at GW?
/u/confused123456
Created: Mon Sep 3 17:23:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cq9zx/anyone_else_in_here_in_their_30s_have_bed_and/
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I keep bingeing thinking whats the point but I'm so large that if I lost 100lbs to be normal weight again I don't even know how I would look like... a melted candle? Then I go what's the point and binge. My life is shit anyway.
[Rant/Rave] Mom walked in on a binge
/u/killingtiimee
Created: Mon Sep 3 16:38:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cpxz4/mom_walked_in_on_a_binge/
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My mom walked in my room at 3 am to see my bed covered in Twix rappers. I started yelling and crying, āPlease leave! Please leave!ā
She was so confused asking, āwhat are you so embarrassed about? Itās okay?ā
God. Does anyone else try and hide food? Even if Iām eating alone, I will hide all reminisce of it. Eating is such a shameful act to me.
Overweight
/u/heyimbored_
Created: Mon Sep 3 16:35:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cpx72/overweight/
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So Iām overweight/obese, still have a while to go until normal/under. But the fact that I donāt look anorexic makes me feel a bit isolated and jealous of all the overweight girls in the community and I was wondering if anyone else felt like this?
[Rant/Rave] fReSHmAn fiFTeEn
/u/aplanetkid [5'7" | 139.4 | 21.76 | GW 110 | Male]
Created: Mon Sep 3 16:23:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cpu1h/freshman_fifteen/
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i just started college and it seems like everyone i talk to is telling me about the freshman fifteen and that "everyone gets it" etc etc etc.
now, i see some kids eating absolute garbage in the dining hall and i have no doubt they're going to gain weight. but hearing that shit just makes me twice as determined to lose 15 (hopefully like 30) pounds, whoops š
[Discussion] Does anyone else drink bullion cubes like tea? They are only 5 calories and it helps me ton when Iām craving salt.
/u/beeeleave
Created: Mon Sep 3 16:14:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cprlt/does_anyone_else_drink_bullion_cubes_like_tea/
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i need help how to not empty out my fridge at night
/u/-sadgarden [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Mon Sep 3 16:14:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cprh8/i_need_help_how_to_not_empty_out_my_fridge_at/
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like srly. EVEN when i had totally normal meals at day and reached my recommended calorie goal, i still cant avoid adding like 500-1000 cals after going to sleep š
when i wake up in the middle of the night or am about to fall asleep i basically have no control over my thoughts. and not being restricted by thoughts is the signal for my brain to just go and binge.
this is fucking frustrating, especially since i cant plan ahead for this.
and theres the issue with "do i log these for today or tomorrow?". like ive gone to sleep already so the day has passed. but the next day hasnt begun?? and i also dont want to wake up and already have x amount of cals logged for the day.
ughhhhhhhhhh
[Rant/Rave] Labor Day meal semi-averted
/u/7M7j7KGMM8uuwNnW [5'3" | CW 153 | GW 120 | BMI 27 | -14 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 16:01:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cpnz0/labor_day_meal_semiaverted/
---
Was at my in-laws for Labor Day dinner. Iād had a normal lunch (by non-ED standards) and was feeling stuck. Like, how can I avoid dinner but not arouse suspicion?
Ate my dinner, decided I was going to purge, ate desert because why the fuck not, itās coming back out anyway. Snuck away downstairs and purged about half.
Balance in the universe has been restored. Back to my normal fasting routine tomorrow!
Fuck calories, I have a GW to hit.
[Rant/Rave] Had a weird day yesterday
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | 105lbs | 19.11 | 30lbs | 23F | šsorryqueen]
Created: Mon Sep 3 16:00:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cpnqx/had_a_weird_day_yesterday/
---
Let me just timeline this out for yall.
In the morning I made muffins. We had a pool party coming up later and I decided to say "fuck it" and let myself have the day. I made blueberry muffins and put two on a plate: one for me, one for the boyfriend. I also brought the butter over, because I put some butter on my blueberry muffins. I asked him if he wanted any and he said "HAHA NO! I don't want it to be like, 800 calories! HA!"
Oh ok, one small muffin and a small pat of butter is not even close to 800 calories, but thanks for making my little cheat day feel fucking awful from the start.
So I said something along the lines of "Wow, that was fucking rude." and sat there all pissed off while he started apologizing.
Then, if that wasn't enough, I told him I think I have back fat, which I totally do. He then started pinching all the places on his body saying he was fat so I should be talking.
Oh ok, invalidate what I'm saying and feeling. Great response.
So I told him to drop it and just kind of sat in silence while we finished breakfast.
Then, the pool party was supposed to start at noon. People didn't show up until 1pm or later. I cannot fucking stand when people are late. I'm never late, it's so rude. But I digress.
Since people didn't show until later, my boyfriend and I started snacking on the food we prepared for people. I shoved apple slices, hummus, pita chips, and even meatballs (I'm a vegetarian so UGH) into my face because everyone probably hates me and that's why they were late.
So once a few people showed, we started getting ready to head to the pool. I put on my bathing suit and it was...loose? Even though I was eating like a madwoman? Uh, whatever, I'll take it.
At the pool, everyone started talking about dinner. Uh, what? We just ate lunch and snacks? Ok, sure, dinner. Suggestions were: McDonalds, Panda Express, or Olive Garden. The party decides on Olive Garden.
Great, so now in addition to being fat, I'm going to broke. Nice. What I wanted.
So we all head to Olive Garden. I order alfredo because I hate myself. Ate about 1/2 of it. My boyfriend wants the rest of it, so I ask for a box to take it home. They bring me a box and anOTHER WHOLE ENTREE OF ALFREDO BECAUSE ITS THE STUPID "BUY ONE TAKE ONE" DEAL. Fine, whatever. I'll just eat it all and add another breadstick on top for good measure.
So we get home and I'm in a shitty mood, shocking, I know. My boyfriend and I sit on the couch because #foodcoma. He asks if I want ice cream. I say no.
\-End Scene-
I mean. JFC. Is that a normal person's day? Because fuck that.
[Discussion] DAE get weird about touching their own body?
/u/planetskinny
Created: Mon Sep 3 16:00:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cpnmq/dae_get_weird_about_touching_their_own_body/
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TW - body dysmorphia and semi-detailed imagery of said body dysmorphia
okay, so let me explain if you have NO IDEA what iām talking about.
my theory is that itās a side effect of bad body image/body dysmorphia. like, being able to feel all of the fat that hangs off your bones kind of body image. so when you touch yourself (not in that way!), you just kind of cringe and feel repulsed by your own body.
for example, i was trying to sleep a few nights ago but my thighs and arms were touching so i couldnāt. i felt so disgusted with myself that it probably took an hour to fall asleep.
TDLR: is anyone else not able to touch their own body sometimes? i think itās because of body dysmorphia. i was trying to sleep but couldnāt because i could feel my own body (?).
Work is my biggest binge trigger.
/u/DramaticDoubt5
Created: Mon Sep 3 15:48:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cpkei/work_is_my_biggest_binge_trigger/
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I work alone almost everyday (for atleast 4-5 hours) in a small store that barely gets any customers. Being alone with even a small selection of food in front of me is enough to spark the urge to binge.
I also have the privilege of getting a free protein bar for every shift I work. I take advantage of this often, but don't feel satisfied after one so I end buying 5+ bars extra on top of other snacks like chips and candy.
I've ended up eating almost all the free chocolates that are only meant for customers. The store has also ran out of bars much faster than anticipated and sometimes they question it. I feel so guilty, but don't want to confess that I'm the one who eats everything.
To make matters worse, this is probably one of the better jobs I have because there's no bathrooms to clean, no uniforms to wear and most of my time is spent making phone calls, doing paper work, dusting and organizing shelves. It does get very boring most weekends and evenings which leaves me with a stronger urge to binge.
I've contemplated going back to a job that's crappier, but has a lot more customers and employees around, just to avoid binging. Any advice?
[Help] Need help finding the lowest calorie option!
/u/fernsandfoxes [5'5.5"|CW:109|BMI:18|GW:100|19F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 15:27:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cpeh6/need_help_finding_the_lowest_calorie_option/
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Iām going to a vegan cafe with friends for lunch tomorrow and Iām freaking out cause thereās no calorie counts. Any guesses as to what the safest option might be?
[Menu](http://tnkvegancafe.com/gallery/)
[Help] losing pounds but gaining inches?
/u/cole-ck
Created: Mon Sep 3 15:14:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cpano/losing_pounds_but_gaining_inches/
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today i weighed in at ~2 lbs less than i did last time, but my waist measurement has gone up an inch or two?? i donāt track my waist measurements very strictly (yet) but i remember that last time was lower than this time even though i actually weigh less now. have any of you guys had the same problem??
[Help] You guys, I canāt stop eating/buying chocolate! I just ate a whole 6oz huge bar! Canāt stop buying the shit!!!! Wtf is wrong with me and why canāt I just be a normal fucking person!!!!
/u/madeinny88 [5'8" | 125 | 19.0 | 30/F ]
Created: Mon Sep 3 15:13:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cpaja/you_guys_i_cant_stop_eatingbuying_chocolate_i/
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I feel disgusting and straight up toxic after eating the whole bar. Itās called Tonyās Chocolonely and I get the milk chocolate sea salt caramel crunch bar. Itās the only chocolate I get anymore, itās like the last thing that I just cannot stop getting. Itās also between 5 and 6 dollars per bar depending on the store.
I promised myself I wouldnāt buy any more chocolate/candy after my birthday and I broke that promise, I bought 2 big ass bars of the amazing chocolate I mentioned a few days ago, and just ate one of them in one sitting (?!!!) one bar is like 1,000 calories. Why am I such a gluttonous hog?
How can I be smarter and not buy any more sugar? Iām trying to eat a healthy diet with minimal sugar and failing MISERABLY! Itās so disgusting! Iāve successfully quit cigarettes, alcohol, heroin, cocaine, adderall and ephedrine, but never once have successfully quit fucking eating sugar. Itās pathetic.
I feel soooo sick to my stomach and feel a massive fucking migraine coming on. Worst part is I wasnāt even enjoying the second half of the bar, in fact I pretty much stopped enjoying it after the first few bites to be honest š
[Discussion] does anyone eat less when they donāt count calories via app?
/u/dollydomer [Height 5'5 | CW 109 lbs| Weight Lost 15 lbs | Gender F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 15:11:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cp9uc/does_anyone_eat_less_when_they_dont_count/
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i find that when i track my calories and scan the barcode and measure food out i eat more because i can see what my actual calorie count for the day is and justify eating more. when i donāt track or even look at the calorie counts on foods or measure anything out i tend to round WAY UP and eat way less. i know i round up but iām too scared to go close to the prolly actual calorie count of a food
Cravings Suck
/u/mabver321 [5'1 | CW 143 | GW 108| F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 15:01:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cp6x4/cravings_suck/
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So i've been craving like the fattest burger imaginable for a week now and it tearing me apart (ą²„_ą²„)
I havenāt eaten a thing today Iām so proud of myself.
/u/EDm-
Created: Mon Sep 3 15:00:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cp6o5/i_havent_eaten_a_thing_today_im_so_proud_of_myself/
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I was out with my friends and they all had such nice food and they wanted to share with me. But I said no each time and I have only drank water too. I feel so good about it and I donāt really feel that shit physically too
[Rant/Rave] [Trigger Warning] I fucked up bad today.
/u/kayasawyer [ 4'11 | 119.8 | 18.5 | 20 | 22 F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 14:54:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cp4yl/trigger_warning_i_fucked_up_bad_today/
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I purged 3 times today. For the first time ever. I found the perfect mix of things to help me succeed in doing that which I obviously will not share. I just hope I have the strength to not do it again. It literally happened 3 times but I have such an addictive personality Iām afraid Iām going to do it again and again and again. Iām going to try as hard as I fucking can not to. Maybe I can do it. Maybe I can.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like shit, so here is a rant (-:
/u/slightlyannoyed0 [5'5 | CW: 123 | GW: 100 | UGW: 90]
Created: Mon Sep 3 14:44:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cp217/i_feel_like_shit_so_here_is_a_rant/
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Does anyone ever feel like ABSOLUTE shit after eating? I want to cry everytime I do eat, I just cried from eating a damn banana. I want to lose so much weight, and I don't know how to because my fatass loves to eat! I feel like I HAVE to be the skinniest person in the room, and on top of that, I have problems with wanting to be 5'5 and 80 pounds because that sounds like the definition of "beautiful" and "perfect" for my height, not what I am at now. I want to lose 10 pounds before September ends, maybe even more. I am so desperate to lose that weight, that my grades are already terrible focusing my time on not eating and day-dreaming during class about being skinny and how other people in the classroom are skinnier than me. There are times where I think "I have an eating disorder, these thoughts mean nothing and I am better than this", but then there is always that large portion of my conscience telling me "no one will believe you have an eating disorder or give you attention until you are smaller than everyone else". I'm just so sick and tired of this and being upset every night, and I have this feeling of if I weren't so fucking fat, I wouldn't be upset. I just don't know how to help myself anymore, and no one else does either. Whether that help means being close to death trying to be skinny or not, I just wish I were somewhat normal, if that's even a thing.
Sorry if that was a long post... I just feel worthless right now
c/s chocolate macaroons
/u/pastelmang [ 5'10 | cw167.5 | bmi24.0 | gw150 |-82.5 | 24f]
Created: Mon Sep 3 14:40:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cp0om/cs_chocolate_macaroons/
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that are 200 cals for 6... terrified of how much got sucked in by my salvia. i've been doing too good to have this fuck me up. i broke though, there's so much bad food here cause we had guests all weekend. big fuck.
[Discussion] DAE feel like theyāre drowning when they lay down?
/u/spacekookiyo [5'4 | CW: the fat friend | -50 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 14:38:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cp08b/dae_feel_like_theyre_drowning_when_they_lay_down/
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I feel all weight of the fat when I lay down. Like my real face is buried under these chubby cheeks and double chin.
[Discussion] "Controlled binge" went as planned.... cool?
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 167 lbs | -10.2 lbs |29.23 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 14:36:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cozp1/controlled_binge_went_as_planned_cool/
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I've been restricting pretty successfully over the past several weeks, which is longer than I've gone without giving up or falling back into binging and purging. I'm trying to be more lenient with myself to prevent a total loss of control.
I felt the warning signs of a major BP session today, so I decided to have a controlled binge. I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to come get junk food with me, and then I had a meal worth 1,104 calories. It wasn't NEARLY the amount of calories I would have eaten if I'd let myself really binge, and I didn't purge, which is cool.
I don't know. I still feel like a failure and SO SICK and hopefully I won't eat anything else today, which would put me well under maintenance.
I don't know whether I should feel proud or disgusted. A bacon cheeseburger and fries, really?
TLDR; fat girl binged and will still bitch about not meeting goal weight next month
Started the month with a binge weekend. Gained 7 pounds
/u/Call_me_Cassius [5'5" | CW: š | GW: 98lb | -45lb | M21]
Created: Mon Sep 3 14:33:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9coyqx/started_the_month_with_a_binge_weekend_gained_7/
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TL;DR I had a binge weekend, scale went up 7 pounds even though I think technically I ate at a deficit, but the anxiety that has been pushing my restriction hasn't come out to play and I'm worried I'm going to keep binging and I genuinely am not sure how I want to react to these events
It's been two months since I've had a real binge. I'm out at college, and my mom came out to visit and wanted to go out for dinner every night and also buy me a bunch of groceries. So I decided I was gonna let it be a weekend where I ate what I wanted and didn't restrict and didn't weigh myself and didn't take laxatives or anything. Of course, I couldn't stop myself from counting calories in my head. Friday my total was 1,940. Saturday was 2,770. Yesterday was 3,220. 7,930 for the weekend.
Now, I trust my fitbit's calories burned, because it's generally pretty accurate. And we were doing a lot of hiking and climbing this weekend and whatever, and I have a high TDEE. So when my fitbit tells me my average for the weekend was 3,584 a day, I believe it. And even if I use the absolute lowest estimate I can find for my BMR, I only ate enough over that to have gained only about 0.6lb the whole weekend. And last night, at midnight, when binge weekend was officially over, I took laxatives, and I have completely drained myself of massive amounts of food waste.
So why, if the weight of the food is out of me, and I only overate by calories by a max of 2,270 calories and almost assuredly significantly less than that and possibly even was at that much of a deficit, if even my "I'm eating so much I'm physically ill" numbers aren't that bad, WHY THE FUCK DID I JUST STEP ON THE SCALE AND WEIGH 7 POUNDS KORE THAN I DID FRIDAY MORNING.
I know it's water weight. It has to be, right? The numbers don't add up for it to be anything else. It was a lot of carbs, a lot of salt. But holy fuck, that means before I took the laxatives I was probably in a whole nother decade of weight! I was two pounds from a goal and now I'm nine.
7lb. 7 pounds. Seven pounds. Even if it's just all water weight, it'll take me a week to undo. And now my apartment is full of food, and the front of my brain is screaming "you have to fast to fix this as quickly as possible!" and the back of my brain is screaming "quick, eat all the other food before we starve again!" and I genuinely don't know what I'll do. I don't know what I want to do. I want the number to go back down of course, but do I use this as a chance to try to balance out my carb intake to avoid getting so spooked by water weight in the future? Do I use this as a turning point in my strategy, just give myself a calorie limit and stick to it and trust the numbers and be patient instead of my current strategy of weighing myself every day, fasting if the number hasn't gone down, and eating as little as possible to avoid ruining the progress when it does?
I didn't think I'd make it the weekend without weighing myself, but I did. I was able to count up the calories in my head without immediately switching to restrict mode the second I passed 300. I was able to reassure myself, "you're a young adult man who just went bouldering for 10 hours and carried his adult sister on his back for most of it, you can eat 3,000 calories, it won't kill you" and I listened and believed it. But stepping on the scale and seeing the number that much higher was just a shocking reminder of why I *don't* do those things. If I weigh myself every day, the number can't shock me so much with its fluctuations. If I decide to eat less when I've only eaten a little to begin with, I'll never eat a lot. If I never eat a lot, I'll never have to worry about whether or not my activity justified the food.
But what scares me the most is that it's not bothering me as much as I think it should. Intellectually, of course, losing my mind. But viscerally, I'm not that upset. I'm not upset at all. I'm hungry. My brain says restrict, my body says keep eating. And without the anxiety pushing me from my gut, I don't know if my brain can win.
I only need to repeat this weekend six times to undo all of my progress. But there are eggrolls in my freezer and I want them, and there's only 1,040 calories in the whole box.
Can I bitch for a sec about my vape?
/u/dorisholliday
Created: Mon Sep 3 14:17:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cotqd/can_i_bitch_for_a_sec_about_my_vape/
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Because dude at the vape store told me Phix has more flavors than Juul, so I bought it. He was wrong.
:-( :-( :-(
Sorry if this a low effort post. I'm just really sad now. I had to get it off my chest.
[Discussion] Howās day 3 going for the other September goal setters?
/u/enviose
Created: Mon Sep 3 14:16:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cot9m/hows_day_3_going_for_the_other_september_goal/
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Iām not sure about you guys but Iām doing OMAD this whole month and trying to keep things below 1000 cal/day. Is anyone else doing a 30 day September challenge? Things have been going alright for me so far. I topped out at just below 900 yesterday and felt almost too full after my meal, while during the day I only got distractingly hungry like twice. Drinking a ton of water really helps and so does going for a run (the Nike run club app will make you a workout plan!) because I swear running is an appetite suppressant (plus it makes you thirsty so you drink more water).
Anyway, I know a few people here mentioned going zero binge for September, which is also my primary goal, so I wanted to check in and see how everyoneās doing. Are things easy, hard, weird, boring?
[Rant/Rave] Woke up to a 2 lb gain...
/u/catalystrose [5'1 | 114 | BMI:21.5| GW 98 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 14:01:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9coou1/woke_up_to_a_2_lb_gain/
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My weight increased by two pounds this morning, which came as a shock since I hadn't binged the day before or anything. I had gotten invited to a BBQ potluck, made a whole casserole of homemade mac and cheese, and let everyone else finish it so I wouldn't eat any then or later. There was so much food there, but I barely had any. I was so proud of myself, and really upset about the gain.
But, I just found out that I'm on my period! A whole week early, so I wasn't expecting it, but I usually gain a little around my period. Thankful that it's just water weight, hopefully! Hope y'all are having a wonderful day.
Anyone else anxious about the holiday food already?
/u/ButterflyThin [66" | 177 | 28.68 | -73 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 13:58:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9coo2w/anyone_else_anxious_about_the_holiday_food_already/
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I am HYPED for the holidays but already stressed about all the food.
A post about recovery
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | in recovery ]
Created: Mon Sep 3 13:24:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cods1/a_post_about_recovery/
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Hey guys, I haven't posted here in a really long time. I used to post here avidly, and I've had posts get over 100 upvotes. You get what I mean.
A little background: I was very very deep in my ED exactly a year ago. Things went from concerning to extremely bad from August 17' to December 17'. I was in IOP from the end of October until December, and then stepped up to PHP. I was supposed to go back to college in January 18', but my treatment team essentially said that if I didn't go into Residential treatment I'd not be able to make it even a month into the semester. I was in Residential from January until March. Then did PHP, then IOP, until May. Now I'm just in therapy.
It's been an absolute BITCH. But I'd like to post here to give you some hope.
I was at my absolute worst back in January. Every day felt like a bad fever dream. I had bald spots, bruises everywhere, blue fingernails, etc. I couldn't go a single day without purging or restricting. Life felt so awful. Yet I still saw myself as this obese whale. I was severely underweight.
After going through treatment my life has only gotten better and better. I still struggle with body dysmorphia and some days are worse than others, but I would not change a thing about what I decided to do. Going into a treatment program changed my life, and I am so grateful. I'm learning to accept this new form I have now, and honestly I can say I am infinitely happier than I was a year ago.
Before I did it, I was terrified. I was resistant. I fought the program every step of the way, until finally it was so bad that I had the chance of being forcibly made to seek a higher level of care. It took every bit of strength I had to get through treatment.
If any of you are seeking out treatment options, please DM me or feel free to comment. I hope the best for each and every one of you. I know how incredibly difficult it is to seek out help and start the process of recovery, but I promise you that in time it will only make you feel better about yourself and your life. I used to restrict extremely heavily, and purge daily. Now I feel as though I can eat fear foods, not exercise obsessively, I don't purge, and I don't think about calories as much.
I love you all endlessly, as always. I hope nothing but the absolute best for you. <3
[Help] Need help finding the lowest calorie option!
/u/fernsandfoxes [5'5.5"|CW:109|BMI:18|GW:100|19F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 13:16:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cobba/need_help_finding_the_lowest_calorie_option/
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http://tnkvegancafe.com/gallery/
Permission to scream ?
/u/ghostcandi
Created: Mon Sep 3 13:11:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9co9wz/permission_to_scream/
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This has been my third attempt at fasting in three days . All of which started off well and went into a gradual descent around 6. How is it possible to be social and not eat ?? Why canāt I turn down food ?? Iāve just binged around 1500 calories - probably more.
I was planning on purging it, until I realise I physically canāt make myself sick. So that time slot has been filled with looking in the mirror and crying !! I can feel myself getting fatter but I seriously cannot stop eating . Kinda hating myself more everyday.
On the bright side I ate a whole pack of sugar free wafers. Maybe Iāll shit myself into oblivion ?
Back to (new) School
/u/Grellous8 [5'6.5" | Fatkunt (CW: ~150lbs.) | Better (110lbs.) | 16M]
Created: Mon Sep 3 13:02:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9co78z/back_to_new_school/
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Back to school is tomorrow. Tell me what you guys think about wearing the red wristband thingy to see if there's anyone from here that we go to school with. Meh...
[Discussion] Does this work?
/u/ManWithTheHands
Created: Mon Sep 3 12:57:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9co5ny/does_this_work/
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I heard that having a shot of apple cider vinegar kills appetite, does it really work?
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel unattractive even though you're close to your goal weight?
/u/Butterfly_Rose
Created: Mon Sep 3 12:55:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9co50a/dae_feel_unattractive_even_though_youre_close_to/
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My anniversary is coming up and I want to dress nice. I'm trying on all my nice dresses but they're all too loose and saggy, I look like I'm wearing bags :(
In a way it's a good thing I suppose, that I'm too small for them now. In fact I reached a BMI of 18 today!
Just sucks that I still feel unattractive even though I'm still close to my goal, I don't want him to think that I'm gross :(
Is anyone else going through/ have gone through this?
[Help] phenylephrine vs ephedrine? (EC stacking)
/u/lightningmcqueef69 [5'5" | 119.6 | 19.75 | 18 | enby ]
Created: Mon Sep 3 12:53:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9co448/phenylephrine_vs_ephedrine_ec_stacking/
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has anyone tried sudafed (phenylephrine) as a substitute for bronkaid (ephedrine)? i'm too chicken to ask for bronkaid so i bought sudafed and vivarin but i've never had sudafed when i'm not actually sick and i'm kinda terrified of it fucking me up somehow; i'm on hour 63 of an 84 hour minimum fast and i have work in the morning so i'm scrambling to find a combo that will keep me awake and alert enough to get through my early ass shift. tia ššš
Busy College Students, what do you eat when you study?
/u/Paisleybabe
Created: Mon Sep 3 12:51:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9co3qi/busy_college_students_what_do_you_eat_when_you/
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This may sound so dumb to most people but I need food when I'm studying like before I relapsed I really didn't care how bad the food was or the quantity of what I was eating because it motivated me to sit there for 5+ hours. Also now that school started I seriously have no time for anything it feels like so now my hobbies are put on the side which sucks.
​
But my main question is how do you guys continue to restrict when going to school fulltime and taking hard classes. Its like I cant put in half as much effort into restricting because I'm so focused on school. GAH
back to school stresses? (college)
/u/tamootto
Created: Mon Sep 3 12:51:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9co3jt/back_to_school_stresses_college/
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is anybody here going back to school and is in full panic mode? socializing is all about food in the first few days of school, iāve been doing my best on restricting and itās going fine but itās fueled by my stress and panic about the freshman 15. does anyone have any recommendations on keeping this stress at a low so i can just focus on my ED
it was also really hard to word how iām feeling without sounding like iām fat shaming my peers. :/ iām not upset at them for eating but every time i watch them eat/go out i have this thought in my head that their stupid for not realizing what their doing. does anyone have any tips on not being judge mental of other peopleās eating habits? mine alone are enough to deal with.
[Rant/Rave] Is anyone else already freaking out about holiday food?
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 150 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -12| f21]
Created: Mon Sep 3 12:41:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9co0nm/is_anyone_else_already_freaking_out_about_holiday/
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Autumn is nigh and people around me are already talking about Halloween, thanksgiven, christmas foods. In my family we basically have a solid 2-3 months of constant baked goods and rich food between various get togethers and just for the hell of it.
My first goal weight is projected to be achieved by November/December just for added fun! I'm just not ready for the holidays, Maybe by then I'd be okay at eating around maintenance for awhile, but internally I'm still freaking out about food by other people and uncountable stuff :|
Supplements?
/u/MOSEDalt [5'1 | 104.2 | 19.2 | GW 84 | NB]
Created: Mon Sep 3 12:39:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cnzxe/supplements/
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What supplements do yāall use? Iāve just started high restricting and Iām def feeling the effects.
I FOUND A RARE GEM, AND I GOT FIVE MORE!!
/u/Chocomelandcookies
Created: Mon Sep 3 12:31:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cnxh6/i_found_a_rare_gem_and_i_got_five_more/
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https://i.redd.it/jxjcn9zhh2k11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I don't know if it's okay to be upset
/u/flightlesspotato [5'5 | CW: 134 | 22.4 ]
Created: Mon Sep 3 12:18:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cnti6/i_dont_know_if_its_okay_to_be_upset/
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My friends threw me a surprise farewell party today because I'm moving to another continent completely for college. I really should be happy. I am. I've never been important enough before for anyone to even bring me out for a surprise dinner on my birthday or anything. I've never had anyone plan anything like this for me before. So is it wrong for me to feel like complete shit at the end of the day because when we were taking photos one of them said that I look fat?
I've been binging the past week and I've noticed my weight gain. I've gone up about 6-8lbs over the past 2 weeks and I know that my face shows my weight loss and gain first, but tonight I was really feeling quite ugly and I had to take so many photos. I'm so angry at myself for feeling like shit when my friends put in so much effort to do something nice for me and I had to be all sensitive over one comment. In his defence, he doesn't know that I have an ED and in my culture it's very normal to comment on other people's bodies.
But I can't stop myself from thinking about it and how I've really let myself go over the past couple of weeks and I feel my clothes getting tighter but now it feels like his words have wrapped a cord around my neck and it's getting hard to breathe.
Just last week I underwent surgery for a whole slew of intestinal problems and I was told that I might have colon cancer, and it really shook me to my core. I'm thankfully cancer-free, but I was told that my gastritis may develop into stomach cancer if I don't watch out. One of the causes include skipping meals. Actually, almost all of my conditions happened because of my ED. This isn't fucking helping I just want to not die and not be fat why is this so difficult haha
I just feel so guilty for not being happy.
[Help] What laxatives work for you?
/u/iidktorii
Created: Mon Sep 3 12:08:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cnqho/what_laxatives_work_for_you/
---
What lax actually works???? What do you take and how often??
Self care is not weighing yourself the day after bingeing
/u/trillbabe
Created: Mon Sep 3 12:06:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cnpvc/self_care_is_not_weighing_yourself_the_day_after/
---
It was so hard
[Goal] Holy fuck Iām officially underweight
/u/blmatsuu [5'2 | 100 | 18.3 | -51 | FTM]
Created: Mon Sep 3 11:54:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cnm8y/holy_fuck_im_officially_underweight/
---
My old scales were breaking so I got new ones today; thought I was 103 pounds, but now Iām 100!!! Doesnāt sound like much but those few pounds were the difference to me being underweight or not and holy shit Iām so excited??? I mean I donāt see a difference between me now and me when I was overweight but idk how to word shit right Iām just really happy!!! And within the next day or two I should be into double digits for the first time since I was around 5, Iām really happy and Iām gonna treat myself to a chicken wrap (~200 cals), Iām just waiting for the chicken to defrost lmfao. This is genuinely the happiest Iāve been with my weight in ages, like I still want to go lower, but Iām proud of myself :ā))
[Goal] My lowest weight this year!
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Mon Sep 3 11:28:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cndyy/my_lowest_weight_this_year/
---
https://i.redd.it/4mp4o4zd62k11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I canāt stop buying goal clothes
/u/lawsoflife [5'5'' | CW: 173 GW: 110 | -37 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 11:20:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cnbcj/i_cant_stop_buying_goal_clothes/
---
Ugh Iāve gained about 5-6 pounds since heading back to school, mostly just from drinking and not being able to work out as much because going to my universityās gym makes me anxious. Thatās fine, I can live with it for the most part and will get back into the swing of things sooner or later. But whyyyyy has my new way to cope become buying clothes a size or two too small :-) I think being able to fit into my first set of goal clothes a few weeks ago has flipped the crazy/obsessive switch in my brain
20 pounds down after 6 weeks! But itās not good enough!
/u/ThermalAnvil [5ā4ā | SW: 232 | CW: 212]
Created: Mon Sep 3 10:47:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cn16i/20_pounds_down_after_6_weeks_but_its_not_good/
---
Donāt normal people lose 2 pounds a week? So Iām losing a little over 3 pounds a week. But Iām restricting myself! High Restriction for one extra pound??? Iād rather just completely starve than the satisfaction I get from eating one meal only to lose one extra pound!
[Help] Feeling so irritated at night
/u/eva1588
Created: Mon Sep 3 10:17:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cmrzp/feeling_so_irritated_at_night/
---
In the evening I get sooooo irritated. It usually starts about 3 hours after I have my dinner. I have a salad for dinner and a couple bits of chicken. I exercise during the day to create a larger deficit, but idk if it is making restriction more difficult. I do budget calories for a snack before bed so I can sleep but lately the snack isn't doing it for me. I like feel like screaming. I don't know if it is physiological or psychological at this point. I don't physically feel hungry, but but it is like my mind and body can't rest until I feel full or satisfied. Does anyone else get this feeling? What do you do to cope? Do you end of eating something or does the feeling go away on its own?
[Rant/Rave] If I say Iām not hungry it took everything I had to do so, donāt ignore my wishes...
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 10:01:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cmn18/if_i_say_im_not_hungry_it_took_everything_i_had/
---
Iām at the cottage and my friends step mom is a lovely person but just doesnāt listen to me and now Iām sitting here wanting to cry because she ignored what I said. She asked if I wanted an āegg McMuffinā for breakfast and I said no thank you. I had already eaten a yogurt and a clementine. And yes, I wanted one - they smelled amazing - but I donāt eat bread, or cheese, or egg yolk, like itās literally a sandwich of fear foods.....fast forward ten minutes she comes out and puts a plate in front of me and says āhere you go, I made you one without buttering the bread!ā And itās like....wow ok I appreciate the effort, but the egg is dripping in the butter you fried it in, thereās an unholy amount of cheddar cheese melted all over it, and you replaced the butter with Caesar dressing....but now sheās made it, and put it in front of me, and I canāt get out of it. So I just had to eat it. And now Iām bloated and disgusted and Iāve already been doing nothing but eating all weekend and Iām terrified to weigh myself. I start university in a couple days and all I wanted was to be thin and look good and now I feel like Iām just fat and a failure. Over a sandwich. Whyyyyy
[Help] Controlled binging??
/u/twa1238
Created: Mon Sep 3 09:49:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cmjey/controlled_binging/
---
Okay I have to take up my vacation days this week which is always a nightmare to me when Iām broke and just staying at home. I live alone and Iāve got adhd and without structure itās all just very chaotic and nerve wracking to say the least and I want to have at least one day of smoking weed and watching adventure time and just stay on the couch to kill time.
Iāve been restricting and fasting a lot lately and I lost weight and I am terrified Iāll binge when Iām high. So Iām thinking of doing it once- but in full control. Like Iāll order JUST a pizza and logg the calories and stuff my face and go right to sleep after and maybe thatāll help not binging uncontrolled and staying strict on restricting?
I canāt purge pizza but I take lax
Do you think this will work or am I kidding myself? I know this sounds stupid but free time is so bad for me, Iām so afraid Iāll binge anyway and I think about just getting it over with tbh (and after that i may feel so gross I wonāt need to do it again? Idkkkkk)
Doritos is gaslighting me
/u/MissLovelorn
Created: Mon Sep 3 09:39:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cmgbr/doritos_is_gaslighting_me/
---
Two days ago I got a bag of Doritos from the convenience store in my building, and it was 140 calories per serving, or 420 for the whole bag. I bought the exact same thing today from the exact same store, and the label says 150/serving, or 450 for the bag...
I love my life šššš
[Rant/Rave] Is this hell?
/u/ManWithTheHands
Created: Mon Sep 3 09:38:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cmg39/is_this_hell/
---
My weight fluctuates by 8 pounds every fucking week, going between restricting and overeating is causing me so much grief but I dont know how to stop, I wish I could just take the parts of me i dont like away.
I told my husband.
/u/dharmaticate
Created: Mon Sep 3 09:23:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cmbig/i_told_my_husband/
---
I've been disordered the entire time he's known me. I've wanted to tell him for a very long time, but there was always an excuse to avoid it.
First I didn't want to tell him before I got skinny so that he couldn't "stop" me.
Then I got skinny, and I still didn't want to tell him so that he wouldn't be stressed before our wedding or during our honeymoon.
Then we got married, and I didn't want to tell him because I didn't want him to think I was hiding it until he couldn't back out.
But I finally told him. I feel like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders.
Middle-aged man is my best ED partner....?
/u/PM_ME_BrusselSprouts [5'3" | CW: 165 | BMI: 30.0 | 33, F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 09:22:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cmbae/middleaged_man_is_my_best_ed_partner/
---
[removed]
My results from majorly restricting, exercising, and being raw vegan for two-three weeks
/u/thinning_bones
Created: Mon Sep 3 09:19:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cmagb/my_results_from_majorly_restricting_exercising/
---
So I went to juvie for running away. I got super depressed and let my mind take full control of me. I started this at ~130lbs. I stopped eating all together for a couple days, and when they noticed, I had to eat at least a little, so I ate maybe an apple and an orange a day. I drank lots of water and read a lot of books in my free time. I worked out by doing squats, planks, hydrant leg lifts, jogging in place, push-ups, three different types of crunches, and butterfly stretches, all with 100 reps each a day. I became obsessed with working out and loved how I looked. I never once touched the food they served because one it was disgusting and two I wouldnāt let myself open my mouth to that shit. I felt amazing for the first time in my life. I had a thigh gap and toned abs and a butt!! My acne went away, my hair looked great, and somehow my depression started to lessen. But then I had to fly home. The clothes I had brought didnāt fit properly but thatās okay. I felt attractive and sexy and so many other great feelings. When I finally arrived home I got to weigh myself. I went down to 116!! I couldnāt believe it. Everything was great until it settled in that I had to stay there for a couple years still. He went back to his old ways and all of my progress went down the drain. Now Iām fat, no thighgap, no abs, no ass, greasy face and hair. Iām feeling worse than ever from eating my stress and feelings away. Help.
[Rant/Rave] I lost a pound over the weekend instead of gaining four
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | CW 120 | GW 115 | UGW 110/115 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 09:05:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cm6f0/i_lost_a_pound_over_the_weekend_instead_of/
---
Last weekend when I was with my bf i was up to 120. Idk how, but i ate more this week and somehow managed to lose a pound. Now Iām at 119 and hopefully I can get to 115 by Friday. Today and maybe tomorrow Iāll fast. But I just worry about gaining water weight after it.
[Rant/Rave] I broke my stupid toe aaaaaahhhhhh
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 115 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 09:04:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cm6bs/i_broke_my_stupid_toe_aaaaaahhhhhh/
---
Iām so upset, yesterday I broke my big toe and it hurts like a mofo and I can barely walk. Now I canāt get all my steps in and Iām so upset even though itās stupid. :(
[Goal] Back to school, got complimented a lot!!!
/u/s_chill_er [5'7''|CW: 117|GW:110|18.3|18F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 08:56:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cm408/back_to_school_got_complimented_a_lot/
---
Im sorry to brag or something but i always had really low self esteem and not happy with my looks but after today im so happy rn i had to share!!! So I havent seen most of my classmates during the summer because of travelling and i lost around 15lbs in the summer and i was working out almost everyday (i did not lose a lot but i wasnt really that heavy to begin with) I noticed i lost a bit but still couldnt see changes just that im still fat and have to lose a bit more. Im friends with the boys in the class and they kept coming to tell me that i lost so much and they were talking about how hot im and how good in a shape i am and they were talking about me between each other various times!! Im so sorry to ramble but i was so depressed this summer and didnt notice (positive) changes so that i had to share!!! But on the other hand my mind keeps telling me that i cant eat because then i will lose this form...cant win i guess lol .Thank you for letting me share because this is the only place i trust and sorry for my bad englishšš
Just broke a 3-day fast by ordering $50 worth of Oreoās and Poptarts and frosting online.
/u/dxylightt [short | 125 | GW: 95 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 08:38:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9clyue/just_broke_a_3day_fast_by_ordering_50_worth_of/
---
Why am I like this :)))))
Anyone ever fuck up a fasting streak with ridiculous food/binge choices? Let me hear some and make me feel better please
[Other] Ever been called out by a sweater?
/u/mendozaaaaaa [šmytiredeyesš]
Created: Mon Sep 3 08:17:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9clt8c/ever_been_called_out_by_a_sweater/
---
https://i.redd.it/efdek89681k11.jpg
I really hate my mom...
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | +12.2 | LW: 107.8 | GW: 95]
Created: Mon Sep 3 07:35:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9clilk/i_really_hate_my_mom/
---
I saw my parents and aunt yesterday. My aunt saw me and said that I looked fantastic and wanted to take pics of me - I'm pretty sure she's trying to find me a husband. She congratulated me on keeping my figure. I felt uncomfortable and nodded and smiled. My mother said that I had poor manners bc I didn't say thank you. I should prolly mention I'm in my mid 30's...
Later on in the day, I had dinner with my parents. I split a meal with my dad, and we didn't finish it. My mom gave me the remainders to take home. We came home and I saw my parents had a huge tin of chocolates. I took 3 pieces of chocolate while I drank tea. My mom saw me eating the chocolates and said that she's noticed that I'm eating a lot and that I'm getting fat... In the mean time, I'm trying to watch what I eat but I've still gained some weight.
I have lunch plans for today... and I'm considering canceling them. I hate how everything is revolves around food. I STILL don't know how to handle this...
[Rant/Rave] I am not happy with my weight..
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Mon Sep 3 07:33:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cli5f/i_am_not_happy_with_my_weight/
---
and I am reaching a point where it is hard for my weight to drop. Worst of all, I felt like co workers have been taking notice of how I eat and it is making me stressed and self concious. I wanna see how far I can go with my weight. I want to make scarifices even if it means to starve myself of food I love. I am willing to go the distance. You can say, i am kind of desperate for my weight to to down. Besides my co workers noticing how i eat, they have been commenting about my weight. like "too skinny", "you should eat more", "do you not eat because you are scared of eating or do you not eat because you are not hungry".. at first, i feel happy knowing that people care but some of my co workers seem to be overly corncerned and its causing me some stress on my part.. i wish they would just stop and let me be myself for abit. i am aware they find me skinny but i cant convince myself i am skinny but only do better to lose weight and feel happy about it. just ranting .. just wanna lose weight and be satisfied with myself
[Rant/Rave] Greek yogurt is the best
/u/androgynousgoals
Created: Mon Sep 3 07:30:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9clhdl/greek_yogurt_is_the_best/
---
Its taste so good and you can add small fruit to it if you dont like the normal flavor. Its low fat usually and has less sodium and more calcium. Greek yogurt is top quality food.
[Goal] Only 11.7 pounds to go until iām no longer overweightš
/u/turdddburger [5ā3 | cw149 | 27.5 | gw100 | f]
Created: Mon Sep 3 07:27:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9clgl8/only_117_pounds_to_go_until_im_no_longer/
---
iām. so. fucking. surprised????? but happy at the same time??? iām in the 140s for the first time in 3 YEARS. iām still a fucking whale, but iām getting closer and closer to my goal. iām so excited man
[Discussion] Need a bit of encouragement
/u/softdyke
Created: Mon Sep 3 07:08:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9clccc/need_a_bit_of_encouragement/
---
Hi, Iāve been fasting / heavily restricting the last week and had a day of eating normally/ more than I would like to yesterday as it was my housemates birthday and my girlfriend was really paying attention to what I ate. Trying to fast today and tomorrow but I think my gf might try and make me eat dinner, does anyone have any advice or encouragement ? X
Left residential AMA, am now a fat piece of shit that canāt lose the weight
/u/reallypissedoffrant
Created: Mon Sep 3 06:30:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cl3ai/left_residential_ama_am_now_a_fat_piece_of_shit/
---
hi there. 18F here. sorry for wall of text.
I have had an ED (AN) since I was 13. To make a long story short, I was forced into impatient/res for 3 months and weight restored from 95 to 120 lbs (Iām 5ā3). I feel like they WAY overshot my weight because I am disgustingly fat now- giant thighs, potbelly, cellulite everywhere. I sighed myself out AMA the day I turned 18. That was mid July.
Itās 60 days later and Iāve lost 4 pounds. Four. Iāve also out on a decent amount of muscle, but still. I used to be able to restrict fairly easily. I went years without touching desserts and once went an entire summer sub-90 lbs dancing for 6 hours a day. Now, even high restriction feels impossible. Itās like my body is rebelling after being fed well for a couple months.
I HAD been managing fairly well and mostly sticking to my 1500cal/day with workouts (Iām on my feet all day at my job so thatās a loss of about 1.5lbs/week if consistent), but I smoked a lot last Thursday and greened out (it was out of a bong which I donāt usually do) and it reacted horribly with my medication- paranoia, panic attacks, hallucinations, and a whole slew of other things. I also binged (yay, munchies) and purged, which Iāve never done before. It was a new low for me. Iām still extremely bloated, feel like shit physically because I tore my throat up, and am ashamed because my friend saw me binge. Iām also more depressed than Iāve ever been because what tiny amount of weight Iāve lose is probably now gone.
Iām not sure what Iām looking for here. Support? Hope from someone whoās been in the same situation? Thanks for reading. Sorry Iām such a mess.
[Discussion] What weight related goals do you have that aren't based on the scale?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Mon Sep 3 06:29:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cl35f/what_weight_related_goals_do_you_have_that_arent/
---
I'm looking forward to breaking 18.5 BMI, and seeing my hip bones again :)
[Discussion] How does ED affect your daily life?
/u/Jani110
Created: Mon Sep 3 06:18:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cl0to/how_does_ed_affect_your_daily_life/
---
I desperately want to stop counting calories, restricting, and caring so much about my weight or looks. Why is it that my weight my greatest source of preoccupation right now? I'm thin enough. I need to gain weight. I can't even find clothes that fit me in stores. They're all too big. Nothing looks good on me. I'm too conscious to wear short sleeves because I'm too bony. Nonetheless, I still run every day. If I don't get my exercise fix, I get super stressed.
I find I don't have the energy to be spontaneous and exciting like I wish I can be. I would rather stay home, not meet people, thus I'm not in a relationship like I wish I could be. I wish I could be more caring for people, but I just am not. I can't eat with people either.
I feel selfish as well. I despise fat people, but I envy the fact that they dont restrict themselves or feel like a zombie.
How has ED affected you, and how would you like to change?
Weekly Stats Update! September 03, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 3 06:15:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cl024/weekly_stats_update_september_03_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for September 03, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 03, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 3 06:14:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cl018/daily_food_diary_september_03_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 03, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Did anyone else develop their ED super young?
/u/jewishtemptress
Created: Mon Sep 3 06:11:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ckz8k/did_anyone_else_develop_their_ed_super_young/
---
I started restricting super hard when I was 11. I only ate exactly 370 calories every day ā a can of Cherry Coke and a Hershey bar. Not exactly the most nutritious food, but it is what it is. I dropped 8 pant sizes in a matter of months; I honestly think I stunted my own growth until I was sent to an inpatient facility.
[Rant/Rave] My restrictions
/u/Jani110
Created: Mon Sep 3 06:04:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ckxs4/my_restrictions/
---
I don't eat anything I dont know the exact calories of.
I also don't eat anything during the day besides coffee, chewing gum, diet sodas, and other zero-calorie drinks.
[Intro] Hello, I think I have disordered eating
/u/mandolinwaterfall
Created: Mon Sep 3 06:03:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ckxgp/hello_i_think_i_have_disordered_eating/
---
Hey, I'm not sure if I belong here or not.
F/24/ SW - 168lb, CW - 130lb, GW - 120lb, Lowest weight - 123lb.
I've was always a chubby kid who did zero exercise. It never used to bother me. I then went to university, got depressed and gained, gained, gained. Highest weight was 12 stone (168lbs for those across the pond). I was very depressed. After my long term university relationship ended, I made a conscious effort to get healthy and to kick depressions arse. It was rough, but I did it. I managed to get down to 9 stone over a period of 12 months. I did it with what I thought was healthy eating. I still believe it is. I was consistently at 1000 calories (usually coming in around 800, exercising 6 times a week). I also socialised regularly and partook in a moderate amount of alcohol. I was doing so well.
I then met my fab partner. He's brilliant but he can eat like a horse and never gain. And I found myself getting fat again because it was just so easy to overeat and not do any exercise because we were out doing fun things instead. This is amplified by the fact he works away 6 months of the year, so when he's home we really go wild. When he's away I can restrict as much as I want. The problem is when he comes home. I binge and binge and binge, do no exercise.
And now I've lost my motivation, I'm struggling with getting back to my old pattern and instead can't stop myself binging. Last night he left for another trip and I found myself binging, but like never before. I started chewing and spitting. I literally stood next to the bin with a packet of crisps, chewed it and then spat directly into the bin. I'm absolutely disgusted with myself. It's foul and it's made me realise maybe I have some form of eating disorder. I have tried to vomit before now but my gag reflex is non existent so (luckily) I can't do that.
I just want to go back to my regime, with my exercise and 1000 calorie diet. I was happy, it was simple. I was alone but it was okay.
My partner brings me so much joy and happiness, but it's countered by the feelings of failure and disappointment because I lack any sort of self control when he's around. I also met him at a time when I was the lowest weight I've ever been, so when I gain I feel extremely unattractive and unsexy (which is made worse since he is muscly with very low body fat).
So, TL:DR - When I am left alone to my own devices I'm happy and so in control. I can consistently see the results I crave. When I'm with the people I love, I hate myself.
Do you guys feel like this? If so, how do you manage your weight loss successfully and not end up isolating yourself?
Im not really even sure what the point of this post was, but it was cathartic so thanks for reading if you came this far.
[Rant/Rave] Why do companies post incorrect calories?
/u/Snowbae
Created: Mon Sep 3 05:35:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ckro6/why_do_companies_post_incorrect_calories/
---
Hartleyās 10 cal jelly pots are actually 5 calories per pot, yet monster ultra says that is zero calories but actually is 15 for a can. Wtf ??? Why the inconsistency ???
Me_irl @losing weight
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 š» CW: 93lbs š» 21F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 04:53:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ckijs/me_irl_losing_weight/
---
https://i.redd.it/go3zrgst70k11.jpg
[Discussion] The era of abject "fat people hate" is pretty much over on reddit, but the consequences live on in my skull.
/u/neutralities [5'5 | 103.2 | BMI 17.2 | F | GW: 95]
Created: Mon Sep 3 04:44:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ckgwq/the_era_of_abject_fat_people_hate_is_pretty_much/
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I am underweight. I have been for quite some time now, and this is a fact that I can understand and articulate.
Unfortunately, understanding that fact doesn't mean my perception of self is on the same page. I'm obsessed with how I stand/walk/sit, and whether or not anyone can tell I'm fat. I'm obsessed with how people perceive me, to the point I avoid any and all social outings, I shop online almost exclusively, and avoid people to a psychotic extent.
Prior to this behavior forming, I remember being obsessed primarily with how I viewed myself.
I really think my POV changed with the explosion of FPH/Fat People Stories, which I read obsessively when it was at the height of popularity.
Not because I derived any sort of sick satisfaction from reading it, but because having multiple subreddits obsessed with discussing/bullying fat people convinced me that there would be a random stranger that would see me eating something and go home and post about me on reddit.
It's been ages since FPH got banned, but I still can't stop thinking about whether or not someone is judging me for how I look or sit or dress. If my thighs spill a certain way that make me look fat.
Anyways, regardless of the effect social media has on me, I wish people would stop making content solely for the purpose of belittling other people and doing nothing to help literally anyone
also it's 4 am so goodnight proed
Colloquial/regional words for food?
/u/clare988
Created: Mon Sep 3 04:33:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ckero/colloquialregional_words_for_food/
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I'm interested in language and stuff and since we're from all over the place I thought it might be kinda fun to hear what slang words yall have for food. I'm from the North of England and here lunch is called Dinner and dinner is called Tea. And we call food scran. Eating is sometimes called "scanning"
Pls feel free to delete if u think this is lame
[Discussion] DAE have particularly triggering meals?
/u/mpjcx
Created: Mon Sep 3 04:33:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ckeqq/dae_have_particularly_triggering_meals/
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Like, what the fuck is lunch? I'm serious, what IS it? It gives me so much anxiety. It's just a random meal in the middle of the day!!!! Who decided lunch was a good idea?!
[Discussion] DAE watch Lexi Babe on Youtube?
/u/jackolantern_hat [5'9.5" | CW:149 | BMI: 21.22 | 21F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 04:26:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ckdgo/dae_watch_lexi_babe_on_youtube/
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She does mukbangs on Youtube about 2-3 times a week but is tiny! And it doesn't look like she exercises it off since I see no muscle definition at all.
Most of her meals look to be 2,000+ calories eaten in 30 minutes or less and she says she eats normal the rest of the week so how is she managing to stay so skinny?
Side note: her mukbangs are pretty satisfying to watch
[Rant/Rave] My mum bought me coke
/u/BlurJAMD [5'4" | CW: 140lbs | GW: 110lbs | NB]
Created: Mon Sep 3 02:16:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cjpyq/my_mum_bought_me_coke/
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I love her and everything but cmon full sugar full calorie coke? 20 CANS. I'll feel bad if I don't drink it :(
i got prescribed adhd meds
/u/dollydomer [Height 5'5 | CW 109 lbs| Weight Lost 15 lbs | Gender F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 01:29:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cjh8y/i_got_prescribed_adhd_meds/
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so i am a junior and this year i have been really struggling with keeping up with my classes. every other year i have been doing fine because i am smart so i wouldnāt do my homework but do well on tests. this year is hard because iām taking college level classes (2, the rest are reg) so i have to keep up with homework and all that jazz. so i talked to my psych who is a family friend and he said that just from knowing me he knows i have severe adhd. it was never treated before because 1) we had to treat other issues first (depression, suicidal thoughts, eating disorder, which still arenāt fixed but i lied a lot) and 2) i was doing well in my classes. he asked some questions and i got prescribed a long acting stimulant. not adderal but pretty much the same thing but long acting. suppresses appetite really well and iām so excited because i have never taken anything except caffeine to suppress appetite. itāll be way easier to restrict now plus if my mom or family member notice iām loosing weight i can blame it on the meds and say i will try and eat more :)
tldr: i got prescribed a stimulant for adhd and now i can restrict easily and blame weight loss on the meds
[Other] ED "quizzes"
/u/aplanetkid [5'7" | 139.4 | 21.76 | GW 110 | Male]
Created: Mon Sep 3 01:22:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cjfyy/ed_quizzes/
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is anyone else kind of addicted to those intake/self dx quizzes that test you for different signs of eating disorders?
ive taken a shit ton in the past and just got an ad on instagram saying "test your knowledge about eating disorders?" and i hit that link so fast.
logically i know it's probably because every time ive told people about my ED they discount and invalidate/don't believe me so this is sort of a way i can prove to myself that i DO have one.
also obligatory if you have links to any good quizzes like this, i love validation!
[Other] WhatsApp group for support, or just for chatting in general?
/u/lemondropsicle [5'3.5" | now: 24" waist | goal: 22" waist| ]
Created: Mon Sep 3 00:56:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cjan6/whatsapp_group_for_support_or_just_for_chatting/
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Hi! I was wondering whether anyone would be interested in joining a WhatsApp group where we could just hang? š
it could be for support or just talking about your day, anything really :-)
If youāre interested dm me your number! If I get a few Iāll make a group :ā)))
how much weight do you guys consecutively lose per week/per month?
/u/kittenbun [5'9 | GW 140 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 3 00:43:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cj7r8/how_much_weight_do_you_guys_consecutively_lose/
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i'm really curious to know what the 'norm' is for everyone, granted i know all of our bodies are different but an 'average' would be something great to go by. i feel like my 2lb a week is *really* slow considering i've been at a 1000 calorie deficit every single day for the last 6 weeks and 4 days.
[Other] yāall wish me luck
/u/MyGloriousMane
Created: Mon Sep 3 00:30:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cj567/yall_wish_me_luck/
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i justgot hella crossfaded w friends for the first time in foreve. i ate a pint of ben n jerryās, like a whole bag of chips, and cookies. ya bitch is fucked lol. i already gained 2 pounds andn now imma gain more from this shit :ā)
Is weight loss possible in 25 mg Topamax
/u/earthcrossers
Created: Sun Sep 2 23:59:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ciytl/is_weight_loss_possible_in_25_mg_topamax/
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Iām not sure if I want to go up, but itās useless to take it unless it will help with weight loss. Does anyone have experience?
[Rant/Rave] I canāt believe this...
/u/undertheweather123
Created: Sun Sep 2 23:46:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ciw99/i_cant_believe_this/
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Iāve been fucking reading the calorie count wrong on Outshine frozen yogurt/ice cream this whole fucking time.
Iām trying to give myself the benefit of the doubt because I was trying a new flavor tonight when I noticed it (so like maybe it was just on this specific flavor) but the serving size was 3.5 servings per container and Iāve been reading it as 2.5 for months!!!
The worst is I didnāt realize my mistake until I finished it (I usually check the calories before and after I eat something) so the damage has already been done.
Iām so upset...not only did I eat a whole serving more than I thought I was but I found out apparently I canāt read either. I hate myself.
[Discussion] DAE make food taste bad on purpose?
/u/backup4reelz [5'5" F | 124 | 115]
Created: Sun Sep 2 23:32:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cita4/dae_make_food_taste_bad_on_purpose/
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I find it easier to justify eating less/nothing if I purposefully make my meals taste like shit. Either no seasoning or too much or whatever and then I can tell myself that I cant have anything else to eat until I finish that, which will take longer because im getting myself smaller portions and putting off eating meals because it tastes so bad.
iām super drunk and i just told someone abt my ed
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 107|16.7|UGW: 103|F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 22:49:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cik5u/im_super_drunk_and_i_just_told_someone_abt_my_ed/
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iām about to eat pizza please kill me iām not gonna log the calories i swear i love her so much sheās so accepting she told me nobody can stop me if i starve myself til iām 99, itās not ok and i need help but nobody can stop me and sheās the second person iāve told and iām gonna eat calories without putting them into myfitnesspal i swear ok i swear it
i love you all please stay safe i love you all so much if youāre new please donāt make yourself worse itāll ruin your life itās not worth it keep yourself safe and take care of yourself, itās going to be okay
[Rant/Rave] The problem is Iām fucking SKINNY FAT in my stomach!!!!
/u/lynnB123
Created: Sun Sep 2 22:07:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ciaxk/the_problem_is_im_fucking_skinny_fat_in_my_stomach/
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Depending on which way I position myself Iām either okay this is fine or Iāll be about to have a psychotic break. Fuck
[Help] How do you print photos?
/u/LnD13313
Created: Sun Sep 2 21:48:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ci6wt/how_do_you_print_photos/
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I love printing out photos and making collages in my exercise/food diary. Lately I havenāt been able to print anything because my printer has been messing up. Basically what happens is I print something it wonāt print and then will print out later on in the week usually when itās the most inconvenient time and someoneās there. Does anybody know of any places that you can print out photos where they wonāt judge you?
Anyone else terrified of dying from a heart attack or something from EC stacking
/u/fortunefeaster
Created: Sun Sep 2 21:26:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ci204/anyone_else_terrified_of_dying_from_a_heart/
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I currently am sitting up, unable to go to sleep cause I took an event stack like 5 hours ago and I'm paranoid that all have a heart attack in my sleep. Worries about my health are always on the back of my mind when it comes to stacking but whenever I stop I almost always binge. Guess I'd rather be thin and die horribly than be fat and alive š¤·āāļø
DAE get the feeling their fingers fall asleep?
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 21:19:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ci0hb/dae_get_the_feeling_their_fingers_fall_asleep/
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When I'm driving they go and i jave to shake it off. Same with my feet when i pee. I started taking more vitamins so hopefully it's something to do with that. I just relapsed and always noticed it starts happening when i start restricting.
It feels like my bf is meaner when I gain
/u/ookateookate
Created: Sun Sep 2 21:18:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ci0cl/it_feels_like_my_bf_is_meaner_when_i_gain/
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I know part of it has to be my mood when I gain any weight. It can't be fun to deal with. Though even when I try my hardest to be kind and thoughtful he loses patience so much quicker. He makes more comments on my posture and clothing choices. I feel like it doesn't happen as often when I am at a lower weight. He is a good person otherwise. I'm not sure how to feel. Maybe I am just paranoid.
being anorexic is being your own skeleton in your closet
/u/DavidMitchellTurtle [5'8" | M/17 | CW 192lbs | GW 115 | BMI 28.8 | Lost 68]
Created: Sun Sep 2 21:07:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9chxqa/being_anorexic_is_being_your_own_skeleton_in_your/
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this joke has been brought to you by my sleep, food, and blood deprived brain
please don't delete for being low effort. I put a lot of effort into this and also /r/proedmemes doesn't allow text posts
How to stop a days' long binging spree?
/u/thatantlerssong
Created: Sun Sep 2 20:55:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9chv7r/how_to_stop_a_days_long_binging_spree/
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Omg, I've been binging TERRIBLY the past week or so. I'm talking 2500+ calorie days, every day. I'm pretty sure I've gained like 5 lbs. I was 105.6 lbs a week ago but I'm pretty sure I'm 110 by now and I can SEE all the fat building on my body (I'm 5'1 so every lb really shows) and it bums me out so much. HOW DO YOU STOP THE BINGING SPREE.
I go from periods of being really disciplined to periods of binging but I CAN'T GET OUT OF THE BINGING SOMEONE PLS HELPPPPPPPP
[Help] Calorie estimation help - Sunlife Organics
/u/fxuk
Created: Sun Sep 2 20:53:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9chur7/calorie_estimation_help_sunlife_organics/
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Visited Pasadena today and ate at Sunlife Organics. I got the Hawaiian bowl. Any idea how many calories???
[Discussion] DAE start eating when you feel overwhelmed/stressed even though you otherwise try to restrict?
/u/WantsToPetAllTheDogs
Created: Sun Sep 2 20:16:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9chmgi/dae_start_eating_when_you_feel/
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School has me feeling so overwhelmed and lonely and sad that the only comfort I have is with food now. Food is my go-to when avoiding tons of work. In my final year of law school and itās all hitting me now.
[Help] How do you guys exercise for multiple hours?
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | CW 120 | GW 115 | UGW 110/115 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 20:02:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9chj9r/how_do_you_guys_exercise_for_multiple_hours/
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I was in the gym for about 25-30 minutes today and was bored as hell. How do you do this for hours at a time?
[Help] waist training
/u/acid_chunk
Created: Sun Sep 2 19:28:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9chbfv/waist_training/
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Anyone do this, or have done this?
I'm 5'7" and I just don't have a defined waist. My mom doesn't either. And my dads side is pretty solidly built. So it's just how the cookie crumbled, whatever.
But I really don't like it. I feel very unfeminine. I feel like even a half inch more narrow would do-I'm not talking anything obscene.
Just wondering if anyone here had a similar distaste for their rib cage shape, and if waist training is a real option.
[Discussion] What and how much do you eat/drink on a normal day?
/u/almc879213
Created: Sun Sep 2 18:56:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ch4cc/what_and_how_much_do_you_eatdrink_on_a_normal_day/
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[Discussion] Weight Question
/u/thingsarestranger [5ā2ā | CW: 125 | -35 | GW:95 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 18:20:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cgw4w/weight_question/
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So Iām curious if I weigh myself before I binge then weigh myself after and purge until Iām the weight I was before will I still gain weight? Like I canāt figure it out mathematically or scientifically like am I dumb or would i still get fat?
[Rant/Rave] Recovered physically, but suicidal!
/u/Sisi21cent
Created: Sun Sep 2 18:04:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cgs7c/recovered_physically_but_suicidal/
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Hi there!
Iām a bit older than most over here I guess. Iām 24yo and I have been doing well for the last couple of years.
I donāt even consider myself an anorexic.
But, mentally Iām a train wreck. And itās not about the lack of control that I miss.
All day everyday I think about suicide. Crashing my car or something like that.
I canāt cope with this, pretending itās not there anymore.
So basically I got on thing in control and got myself in trouble somewhere else.
Has anyone been through this?
Who are your favorite proED / restricting youtubers?
/u/Paisleybabe
Created: Sun Sep 2 18:01:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cgrk9/who_are_your_favorite_proed_restricting_youtubers/
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Mine is oatfiber, I'm trying to find more like her hence my question :p
​
But what I like about her, is her recipes and her days in the life because I get inspiration from it
[Discussion] Do you remember the origins/first flags of your disordered eating?
/u/The_Lovely_Lonesome
Created: Sun Sep 2 17:57:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cgqhw/do_you_remember_the_originsfirst_flags_of_your/
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I remember breaking down at dinner once. It was really embarrassing and my younger brother made fun of me for it.
Then my dad also told me to āwatch what I eatā. My mom heard it and brought it up recently when we talked about his abuse, so at least she felt for me.
She knew about my ED all along, but I didnāt know it until we talked about it recently. So thatās also kind of embarrassing. I cringe thinking about who else knows.
Feeling lonely and YUGE
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: idk | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 17:48:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cgofk/feeling_lonely_and_yuge/
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Anyone else? I just need a friend. If anyone feels like talking, my inbox is always open <3
[Help] How do you get yourself to start restraining?
/u/qt-bunny
Created: Sun Sep 2 17:31:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cgkab/how_do_you_get_yourself_to_start_restraining/
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Iām not sure I can consider myself having an ED yet, but Iāve had a nasty relationship with food and my body for as long as I can remember.
Right now Iām at my heaviest due to a 3 year-long fight with anxiety caused by PTSD, and I canāt stand myself any longer. I feel totally out of control when there is food involved: I eat and then I regret it all the other times that Iām not eating.
I want to gain more control over my intakes, reducing or eliminating portions until I can reach one meal a day. What are your motivations that started you gain control over the situation? Thinspos? Meanspos? Group support?
Please I need all the ideas I can get. If I donāt start getting myself to eat less Iāll rip my fat out with my bare hands.
What are you craving right now?
/u/PM_UR_PUPPY [5'7" | CW 130 | GW 120 | LW 118]
Created: Sun Sep 2 17:25:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cgiwl/what_are_you_craving_right_now/
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Rather than going out and buying / binging what I'm craving, I'm going to post it here instead. For the past few days I've been dying for peanut butter and jelly. Like, I want to make PB&J sandwiches with white bread and cut the crusts off and dip the sandwiches in cold milk. Also, just eating it straight out of the jar would be amazing.
[Rant/Rave] Buc-eeās is like an EDās dream. 32oz Coke Zero for 69 cents. And fucking airheads gum. Bless.
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Sun Sep 2 17:13:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cgg5a/bucees_is_like_an_eds_dream_32oz_coke_zero_for_69/
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https://i.redd.it/np5clysxqwj11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Studying abroad is making me worse
/u/violetteskies
Created: Sun Sep 2 16:59:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cgcns/studying_abroad_is_making_me_worse/
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Iāve only been here a week but I can already tell Iām dropping weight. (No scale but my abs are becoming more visible in the mirror..) The thing is I really donāt want to restrict right now. I wanted this to be the best year of my life and I wanted to immerse myself in the culture, not worry about my weight and food. But my anxiety and self hatred have really been getting to me lately. I can barely get myself to get groceries or order food so Iāve been skipping meals.
But I just feel like such a freak here. I donāt know anyone yet so Iāve just been going out alone and all the girls here are so beautiful and skinny. I canāt imagine any of them wanting to be my friend. Doesnāt help that the moment I open my mouth everyone notices my accent/and or canāt understand me. Iāll never fit in.
I just really hate myself right now. At least being skinny will make me feel better about myself
[Rant/Rave] i have lied about my ed my entire life
/u/dollydomer [Height 5'5 | CW 109 lbs| Weight Lost 15 lbs | Gender F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 16:43:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cg8i6/i_have_lied_about_my_ed_my_entire_life/
---
there have been time when i have been honest about it, just small things like having anxiety about food. i donāt lie to my friends about it as much but when i was sent to treatment, they sent me to an eating disorder residential because i was severely depressed and had a āslight edā. i never told my psych that the reason i attempted suicide was because i was so done with feeling guilty after eating and having trouble restricting hard enough. i lied when i was in treatment about my ed behaviors and depression and suicidal thoughts so thatās why i was discharged. when i got out i lied my way out of iop but i was restricting and not doing well. i took myself off of my meds without consulting with my psych and then tried to kms with the pills i had stockpiled. and then i ended up in the hospital and told them i just wanted to get high. my ed got bad again after that and it was killing me so i told my mom i needed to go to treatment and she tried to but the insurance wouldnāt pay for it. so i lied again and gained weight so she wouldnāt think iām struggling but i lost it all again. i recently went to my psych and my ed thoughts are worse then ever but i still lied and said i get a little anxiety about it but not bad, even though iām still really depressed due to it. he told my mom that i am perfectly fine besides adhd and my mom agreed and said i have never been happier. i never realized how much i lied about my mental health until now, when my ed is worse than ever. i weigh a little more than i used to but i am 2 inches taller and can see my ribs a little bit and my hips. im depressed but happy with my weight and looks but of course still donāt think itās good enough. when will i be able to be honest about my thoughts? i donāt think i ever will be ready. fortunately i am not suicidal, just depressed but i am learning to be happy
[Help] Is anyone's migraine triggered by binges...?
/u/Nyriss
Created: Sun Sep 2 15:54:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cfw55/is_anyones_migraine_triggered_by_binges/
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Had an episode worse than usual today, and trying to figure out what might have caused it. I'm not feeling more stressed than normally, no alcohol or a lot of coffein - and I've had worse binges, but Friday was my birthday, so there's cake at home...
I read that restricting is a trigger for some people, at least I didn't have a problem with that yet.
On the bright side, it made me throw up the small amount of food I had today and I feel completely incapable of eating anything right now... yay?
[Help] Do I eat tonight?
/u/7M7j7KGMM8uuwNnW
Created: Sun Sep 2 15:52:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cfvng/do_i_eat_tonight/
---
Breakfast: 1 egg (with butter and salt)
Lunch: Yogurt with raspberries + 2 cookies
Dinner: ??
Iām down -14lbs but I want to hit -45lb. I donāt count calories, I just eat as little as possible and call it good. Yesterday I fasted for 24 hours, Iād do it for days if I could but I eat dinner to appear healthy in front of my husband.
Iām feeling like shit because of some family drama (trying to avoid). I want to eat for therapy but I canāt eat *and* lose weight.
I could always eat a modest dinner and purge it.
Please tell me your thoughts...
Tried Bronkaid today
/u/lilbabymonkeys
Created: Sun Sep 2 15:52:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cfvlw/tried_bronkaid_today/
---
I took adderall every day (about 20 - 40 mg) for about 2 years when I was younger - I didn't have a prescription but my room mate did and didn't want them. They legitimately made me feel normal when it came to eating; I didn't over eat, and I didn't really under eat. I just ate when I felt hungry and stopped when I didn't feel hungry. It was like a whole new world. Well, that room mate moved away lol.
So I've been trying to deal with my appetite, binge eating, and overall obsession with food on my own for a year now and I've gained an upwards of 30lbs. I tried Bronkaid today with some sugar free monster and it's definitely not adderall but I can feel a difference when it comes to my cravings and constant dwelling on food. I ate a normal breakfast and haven't really been hungry since. I forgot what that felt like. So I took a whole one in the morning after my work out and another whole one later in the afternoon. Honestly it just makes me really miss amphetamines. :(
Grocery Shopping Woes
/u/thetexangypsy
Created: Sun Sep 2 15:25:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cfohi/grocery_shopping_woes/
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My wife and I had to move back in with my dad temporarily and hes been commenting on my eating habits... today he gave me money to go grocery shopping, and told me "go get real food. None of that low cal bullshit!" and expects a full pantry when he gets home in the morning. I really don't understand what he wants, I feel if I go by his wants that it'll be wasted food because I won't eat it.
Does anyone else ever deal with this?
[Other] Oh yeah I remember being keto..(what I get for eating only cheese for lunch)
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 150 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -12| f21]
Created: Sun Sep 2 14:46:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cfe70/oh_yeah_i_remember_being_ketowhat_i_get_for/
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https://i.redd.it/cjc1c83u0wj11.png
[Discussion] Iām gonna try to do a 2 day liquid fast
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Sun Sep 2 14:18:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cf6es/im_gonna_try_to_do_a_2_day_liquid_fast/
---
Iāve done one day days before but I ate like shit this weekend and need to undo it. Or at least make up for it, so weāll see how this goes.
Ugh, family BBQ
/u/newforvevernever [5'6'' | CW 113.7 | GW 101 | WL 4 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 14:12:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cf4t8/ugh_family_bbq/
---
I invited the in-laws over for a labor day get together. Lord knows why. Kindness? Boredom? Well-meaningness? MIL is a super eater, always looming over my intake (much like my conniving acquaintances.) Crossing my fingers I can make it through this. I've gained about 7 pounds in the last two months and I'm dying at how heavy I feel. God. People and their food obsessions, or worse, reallyātheir obsession with making people behave and consume just like them. I don't criticize your 5 helpings of potato salad. leave me alone with my quarter serving, thanks.
I'm so fucking ashamed and tired and I just want to go back to how I was before.
/u/pm_me_for_nudes
Created: Sun Sep 2 14:10:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cf477/im_so_fucking_ashamed_and_tired_and_i_just_want/
---
Exactly a year ago, during my second year of uni, I joined the swim and volleyball club. I'd become a little chubby in my freshman year, and just wanted to be a little more healthy and active. Everything was fine for a while. I exercised 4-5 times a week, ate a balanced diet, was able to keep up with schoolwork, and even went to a couple parties. I was so intensely happy.
At one point something inside me broke. I got my period, and it wouldn't stop for a month. I stopped swimming, volleyball, weight training, and fell behind on schoolwork. I didn't go to parties. I became irritable and anti-social, a hermit.
I don't know exactly what triggered it, but in may, the day after mothers day to be exact, I decided bc I wasn't exercising as much and it was almost summer, I'd cut down my calories. I found r/1200isplenty, and while I loved the community at first, and I was able to stick to my diet for the most part, I could tell I was become obsessive. I weighed out EVERYTHING (including onions like wtf why) and I isolated myself from eating with my friends/roommates. I binged during the weekends when I went home to visit my family.
When second year uni ended, after about 3 months of the "diet," I went home to my family for the summer. I was terrified at first, because I knew I wouldn't have a set schedule, and the thing I feared the most in the world happened: binging. I couldn't stop eating. I ate so much bread, with fuckin mayonaise, or butter mixed with sugar, or 3 billion slices of cheese. I'd go to bed feeling nauseous and guilty and ashamed. I tried purging but that didn't work.
I left home a week early to chill on my own at uni bc I thought I wouldn't get triggered, and the food I had here was "healthy" but it didn't work. I bought a bunch of boring healthy snacks to take with me to classes, and I ate all of them over the course of two days. Today I turned down pizza bc I'd eaten the snacks and was just gonna fast for dinner, but I proceeded to eat more bread and a ridiculous amount of oatmeal with nut butter. I don't even mind my the way my body looks atm but I just want to stop having this urge to binge, and the bloated guilty feelings after binging (also if it continues like this i will start to hate my body). Every night I go to sleep promising myself the next day will be different.
I also met this guy and I'm meeting him tomorrow and I was planning on wearing this tight dress that makes me feel bomb af, and I wanted to feel light and fresh, but after binging the entire day today there's no way I'm wearing that dress, and I'm dreading seeing him and having him see me as the fat, bloated, hot mess I am. (also i know that having a guy's approval shouldn't be worth everything but sometimes it's nice to know that someone appreciates you)
I don't even know what I'm trying to achieve by writing this post. I'm venting, but also hoping someone has some advice or some kind words of anything.
I am so done
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: idk | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 14:08:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cf3kp/i_am_so_done/
---
This is just one of those ākeeping myself accountableā rants. Iām so sick of this place, this food, my brain, my body. In a year I went from 135 to 106 to 120. I havenāt had a period in 11 months. Iāve binged everyday for the past two weeks minimum. Iāve purged half of those times. I canāt take it anymore. Iām ballooning tf up. Iām not comfortable in my body. I wake up thinking itās going to be a good day just to fuck it all up. I just donāt know anymore. Iām destroying myself, my relationship, my friendships, my life. Idk.
[Rant/Rave] Iām trapped in a body that I hate
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | CW 120 | GW 115 | UGW 110/115 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 14:04:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cf2kk/im_trapped_in_a_body_that_i_hate/
---
Iām too fat, my boobs arenāt big enough, my feet are too big, my Afro isnāt big enough. Iām too small but also too large and I have the ability to have offspring. I hate everything about my body from my fat stomach to my ugly face and I get pleasure out of depriving it of food until itās perfect.
[Rant/Rave] Found old pics
/u/avocado4life
Created: Sun Sep 2 13:52:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cez13/found_old_pics/
---
https://i.redd.it/oyj67072rvj11.jpg
I have no more hobbies or interests. [rant, only vaguely ed-related]
/u/7x-2x [š¦]
Created: Sun Sep 2 13:41:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cew20/i_have_no_more_hobbies_or_interests_rant_only/
---
I just... don't do anything. I have a pile of books I just got from the library, and even though I USED to love to read, I don't want to open them.
I'm on the verge of quitting my job because I absolutely cannot stand it. I'm calling in sick tomorrow, because the thought of having to go in is sending my stomach in knots. I'm also anxious because I feel like I've taken way too many sick days and days off for Dr's appointments in the last few weeks. Which is dumb because I'm about to quite so I shouldn't worry about being a ~bad employee~, but I Don't Like Failing and right now I'm Failing.
I have a ā¬5,500 dentist bill coming up. Even though I'm in Germany, the land of good, free health care, I've managed to fuck up my mouth *so badly* that I'm still stuck with a huge bill.
When I'm not stressed, I'm bored. So bored. Everything is either terrifying or boring. I have somehow lost the ability to feel any other emotions.
And because I'm a big huge faker, I'm too bored/lazy to even bother restricting, and also too bored/lazy to go get binge food. I kind of want cake or chocolate muffins or something, but the thought of getting on the train to go to the one store open on Sunday? Meh.
I'm too lazy to even pick something to watch on Netflix. I scrolled through and nothing looked appealing. I don't want to re-watch any old favourites, but I don't have the energy to watch something new.
I want my emotions back.
/rant
[Help] Getting a defined butt?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 13:38:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cev4s/getting_a_defined_butt/
---
Sorry if this is a little OT but I figured one of you might know. Currently, my upper thigh and butt are pretty much the same thing. Are there any exercises to help make my upper thigh slimmer or my butt more defined? I feel like it would help me look more proportional and my legs look longer. Also, will the problem get better once I lose more weight?
[Discussion] DAE feel soooo sleepy after eating
/u/twa1238
Created: Sun Sep 2 13:25:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cerfp/dae_feel_soooo_sleepy_after_eating/
---
When restricting Iām full of energy but then in the evening when I sit down and eat something, no matter how little and light, I get so tired suddenly, like I just took a sleeping pill. not in a bad way, super peaceful and cozy, but I have to be careful to time my meal because I canāt do anything else after
can anyone relate?
[Discussion] Does anyone ever view subreddits for skinny people?
/u/Belarie
Created: Sun Sep 2 12:46:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cegdi/does_anyone_ever_view_subreddits_for_skinny_people/
---
So I like to overlook subreddits such as r/XXS or other subs for skinny people. Just seeing the sizes they put and the problems and perks they have of being smaller is motivating to me. I feel bad because I kind of feel like Iām fetishizing them or something even if thatās not my intent. :,/ I donāt post there because Iām definitely not skinny enough to even think of posting there yet. Anyone frequent any subs like this?
Pitching major league worthy fits...
/u/Invisiblimp
Created: Sun Sep 2 12:34:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ced2n/pitching_major_league_worthy_fits/
---
Anyone else get some *extreme* rage up in this life? Anybody so much as thinks about telling me no or changing something without my explicit permission and I LOSE IT.
It's like, full on angry crying with a side of the meanest shit I can think to say to put that who-the-fuck-do-they-think-they-are asshole back where they belong.
Idk, misery loves company? Crazy is as crazy does? I cannot figure out how to curb it without benzos because mothafuckin' alcohol just *had* to be a high calorie vice D':
Please share with me your most hardcore meltdowns so I can feel less alone?
How to avoid bloating while fasting?
/u/AnaBrideToBe
Created: Sun Sep 2 12:11:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ce6fd/how_to_avoid_bloating_while_fasting/
---
I read online that fasting can cause bloating. I was wondering if there is a way to cut down on it? How soon before I need to be not bloated should I stop fasting?
[Rant/Rave] "At least you're not fat"
/u/monday-mundane
Created: Sun Sep 2 11:15:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cdq7t/at_least_youre_not_fat/
---
I opened up to a friend about my ED and they just said it's better than being fat. They're only mildly overweight and are perfectly healthy otherwise.
Ugh. Sounds like something I would tell myself.
[Rant/Rave] Another "imposter syndrome" rant
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 150 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -12| f21]
Created: Sun Sep 2 11:12:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cdpfd/another_imposter_syndrome_rant/
---
I really don't know where I belong, I think I might just be a anxious dieter. Back when I got the suggestion of ednos/aa I totally understand why, but this time around I'm way less...disordered. I still have the obsession and anxiety but I tend to do that with ANYTHING I get interested in tbh.
Like I know I'm going about this in a relatively unhealthy way but, I have a end goal of a healthy bmi I plan to maintain. So I dunno, I think in the end I just have a odd personality but maybe not a ed in it's truest sense.
[Discussion] DAE get triggered to relapse while attempting to live healthier?
/u/nomuddnolotus [5'5" | CW: 122.2 | GW: 105 | 28F | šgingerteababy]
Created: Sun Sep 2 11:01:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cdluh/dae_get_triggered_to_relapse_while_attempting_to/
---
Basically, during my periods of pseudo-recovery (aka eating a totally unhealthy diet at maintenance cals and not exercising at all), Iāll decide at some point that itās time I get my shit together and ~sTaRt LiViNg A hEaLtHy LiFeStYle~. Which in my mind means working out a reasonable amount and making healthy eating choices. Iāll start off relatively ok, like just monitoring my macros rather than calories, opting for healthier food options, and working out moderately a couple of days per week. But then at some point a switch gets flipped and the next thing I know Iām restricting super low and doing intense cardio up two hours every day. Itās like Iām either at 0 or 100, no in between. Itās like my brain cannot fathom moderation in any aspect. I also wonder if it might be that I have a subconscious urge to compete with myself. Can anyone relate?
[Rant/Rave] Everything crashing down
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 114 | 17.8 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 11:00:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cdlj4/everything_crashing_down/
---
Probably will delete soon. But Iām at the lowest Iāve ever been (110), and Iām losing my mind. Because of things going on in my life (school, commitments), Iāve been so stressed and restricting. However, lately Iāve started to feel so incredibly sick and I cry for no reason ALL THE TIME. I have a therapist and weāre having another meeting tomorrow, but until then I donāt know what to do with myself. Iām spread so thin and have never felt more alone.
[Tip] PSA: if youāre restricting a lot or skipping eating altogether, please make sure youāre getting enough electrolytes!
/u/puzzledbutton [5ā0ā | GW: 110 | 24F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 10:59:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cdl0x/psa_if_youre_restricting_a_lot_or_skipping_eating/
---
Hope this post is okay!
Iāve been seeing a lot of posts here recently about lightheadedness or dizziness. I wanted to share an electrolyte supplement Iāve found that I use for extended fasts:
https://www.lyteline.com/products/lyteshow-4-oz-bottle-electrolyte-concentrate-for-rapid-rehydration
Itās very reasonably priced and comes with a little travel flask that has a cap for measuring. PLEASE NOTE that the single dose should be mixed with at least 32 ounces of water because itās pretty gross otherwise! I know a lot of ppl here either work in restaurants or are working out a lot so if youāre restricting heavily or not eating at all itās important you have your electrolytes replenished!
If you do end up buying these definitely donāt go overboard! Iām not a medical professional by any means, but overdoing it with supplements of any sort can usually be dangerous. I just wanted to make this post since Iāve been seeing a lot of āIām about to pass outā posts lately.
Stay safe everyone :)
[Intro] Iām back.
/u/hijainen_enkeli [5' 3" | 146.2 | 26.61 | -49.8 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 10:43:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cdgff/im_back/
---
Well, Iām back. I guess Iāve been back for a while but I decided to announce it now. I left back in 2016 when I found out I was pregnant. The entire pregnancy was a mess. I ended up in the hospital twice for dehydration from getting sick. Then I developed gestational diabetes. I gained back all the weight I lost plus some. The only good thing to come from it was my little man. He turns 2 in December.
I started eating ānormallyā after I gave birth. Then I started binging a bit while dealing with undiagnosed postpartum. I started getting back on track around his first birthday. Then there was an event (police shootout in front of our house) and we decided it was time to move back to our home state. I stress ate the entire time we looked for a house and dealt with the moving process.
Now weāre back home by family and friends. Itās a blessing and a curse. Some times this means I can go all day without eating because I know Iām having dinner with my family. Other times it means eating too much because Iām spending the day with friends. One plus, is two of my friends want to start working out together. One is because she wants to lose the weight from having a little one of her own. The other is to help me with my weight loss. I think she has an idea about my ed but she wants to help me in a healthy way.
The last two months have been a mess of my new dr putting me on meds for bipolar and migraines. Then she messed things up and put me on a blood pressure medicine. That gave me ridiculous vertigo. Now Iām completely med free and thinking about fight back to ec stacks.
I donāt necessarily want to be back, but I canāt seem to help it. Iāve been viewing posts on here for quite a while now but Iāve been to afraid to comment on any of them. I was afraid to admit that I never really let go of this.
Sorry this is so long.
Losing my mind
/u/pizzaneet
Created: Sun Sep 2 10:41:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cdfzq/losing_my_mind/
---
Iāve been stuck at the same weight for two weeks, and Iāve been eating 750 or less. Iām so worried that Iām gonna be this weight forever, I donāt want to be this fat anymore, I feel sick
What do I do? Should I restrict down to 600 or less? I canāt fast because I live with family and they already think I donāt eat enough with OMAD.
Can I get a sharper jawline by exercising my face?
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Sun Sep 2 10:22:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cda9x/can_i_get_a_sharper_jawline_by_exercising_my_face/
---
Im already thin but I have a weak jawline game. How can I lose the double chin?
[Other] Our messiah
/u/Fatalope [Height 5'4 | CW 136 | GW 104 | HW 168 | 21 F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 10:12:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cd7kk/our_messiah/
---
https://i.redd.it/9ry5n46unuj11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Scared for college
/u/staticphat [Height: 5'3 | CW: Rice Paddle | GW: Chopstick]
Created: Sun Sep 2 09:53:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cd2e0/scared_for_college/
---
I start school this month, but in October/November Iām going to start living on my own and Iām so excited to have full control of what Iām going to eat but Iām also scared of not eating enough and fucking up my education (school is really important to me). My plan was to lose as much weight as I can this month starting after this weekend (Iām with relatives rn and Iām overeating and hate myself but thatās irrelevant) and work on maintaining during the school year but I know that Iām going to binge during the school year because of the stress and thatās going to make me want to restrict really low/fast.
My roommate is going to get suspicious..
/u/warmcorgi53
Created: Sun Sep 2 08:53:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cclj5/my_roommate_is_going_to_get_suspicious/
---
I am obsessed with weighing out my food and counting calories. I move into college tomorrow and I'm horrified of her finding me weighing out precisely 30 mL of coffee creamer every morning and thinking I'm psycho.
Dorm snack suggestions?
/u/warmcorgi53
Created: Sun Sep 2 08:51:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cckx8/dorm_snack_suggestions/
---
I'm going grocery shopping for my college dorm today. I have a mini fridge with a freezer compartment. I mainly will be using the dining hall but I'd like some suggestions!
[Rant/Rave] Unmotivated, depressed, and not sure what to do next
/u/lvalmp
Created: Sun Sep 2 08:44:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ccj5i/unmotivated_depressed_and_not_sure_what_to_do_next/
---
I have had just a shit few years. Domestic violence, divorce, losing my job. Just life kicking my ass.
Today I found out my dream job opened up in my dream location. It's about 2000km away from where I am now, in a tropical climate, in my field... just totally what I've always wanted to do and where I've always wanted to live. I'm so on the fence feeling like I'm not good enough to get this job, feeling like if I apply and don't get it I'll feel worse... if I don't apply I'll hate myself. Ugh!!
Back
/u/bannaberry
Created: Sun Sep 2 08:22:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ccdjo/back/
---
Iām back to ECA stacking.
I have 2 big events happening in April: my 29th birthday and a festival in Austin.
I want to be in the 120s by then.
Only 30 lbs to go šŖ
[Rant/Rave] Iām never leaving the house without brushing my teeth EVER AGAIN.
/u/2ndfirstday [5'5" | 101 lbs | 16.8 BMI | -3 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 08:04:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cc9bx/im_never_leaving_the_house_without_brushing_my/
---
I went to a party last night. No one told me I had basil in my teeth from my rice cakes for about TWO HOURS. Iām so embarrassed.
And after thinking about it, Iām going to start brushing my teeth after every single meal as well, to avoid snacking between meals.
UGH I hate basil now!!!!
[Rant/Rave] I am stuck at 88lbs (40kg) and I have been stuck at this weight for past few months.
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Sun Sep 2 07:58:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cc7s6/i_am_stuck_at_88lbs_40kg_and_i_have_been_stuck_at/
---
Guess I need to do smth more drastic, like have only black coffee, cucumber, and few sweets to eat when i work. Hopefully my weight drops. Good luck to me, I am going to try until i succeed. ā
Lose weight fast!! - Go through a terrible breakup and donāt eat anything because you donāt care anymore.
/u/Jumpedunderjumpman
Created: Sun Sep 2 07:12:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cbxun/lose_weight_fast_go_through_a_terrible_breakup/
---
Iāve lost somewhere around 3lbs in 3 days! I still hate everything though and my heart is in a million pieces but at least iām becoming thin!!!
Iām a bit of a mess rn.
[Rant/Rave] The whoosh is real
/u/ShannonAnon
Created: Sun Sep 2 07:11:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cbxmq/the_whoosh_is_real/
---
Iāve been stuck at the same weight just constantly gaining a few pounds then getting back down to the same exact weight. Well, I was trying to figure out what causes a āwhoosh,ā and I read that eating carbs after fasting/eating at a big deficit can cause a whoosh... 2.5 pounds yāall
Weighing more in the morning than at night?
/u/sonorie [5'4" | F | SW 135 | CW 119 | LW 113 | GW 105]
Created: Sun Sep 2 06:55:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cbu74/weighing_more_in_the_morning_than_at_night/
---
I weighed myself last night, went straight to bed, woke up and weighed myself again and the number WENT UP? Wtf how is that possible??? Has this happened to anyone else? I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind
[Discussion] Marina - Teen Idle ???
/u/kernalmustache [169cm ā | CW 105lbs | BMI 16.7 | SW 130lbs šø]
Created: Sun Sep 2 06:31:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cbphz/marina_teen_idle/
---
When Marina sings the line *"* *I'm gonna puke it anyway"* do you think she's talking about in an ED way or in a getting alcohol poisoning way?
I have a problem....(And this excludes the cans in my garbage)
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | CW: 68kg | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 06:28:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cbp3f/i_have_a_problemand_this_excludes_the_cans_in_my/
---
https://i.imgur.com/MGr5Lzf.jpg
[Goal] My plan for the next 2 weeks
/u/audreyhepburnwho [25F | 5'8 | cw 159 | hw 196 | sw 172 | lw 150 | ugw 145]
Created: Sun Sep 2 06:16:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cbmxq/my_plan_for_the_next_2_weeks/
---
Idk if the flair is right, i didnt reach a goal, i made a new one.
I am gonna go HAM these next two weeks. This is for accountability, and for me to have somewhere i can come back to if i "forget" what my plan is, and also maybe for motivating anyone else out there.
I hate how much time i spent trying to calculate how much i can lose in a certain amount of time and freaking out if i dont like predicted amount and ending up not following the plan because "iTs nOT woRth It"
So im just gonna go ballistic for two weeks and see where that brings me. Im always losing slow, then faster, then regaining but I haven't gone 2 weeks straight on track. I want to treat this almost like a science experiment, instead of thinking oh if i burn x calories and eat y calories i will lose z lbs, i want to just do my best, whatever that is, and see where i am in two weeks.
I also am gonna take progress pictures which i usually don't. So, my plan:
- stay everyday under 500cals, less if possible
- IF 18:6
- I can, if i want to, skip a whole day of eating but i can't go longer than 48 hours cuz that leads me to binge
- gym every day. If i dont do to the gym I'll go for a hour long walk instead.
- obviously, no binge September
- keep carbs under 30g
- ive started ec stacking recently so hopefully that'll help with restricting and energy levels
Wish me luck
How much more calories do you burn when you don't sleep?
/u/kernalmustache [169cm ā | CW 105lbs | BMI 16.7 | SW 130lbs šø]
Created: Sun Sep 2 06:14:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cbmku/how_much_more_calories_do_you_burn_when_you_dont/
---
So I often don't sleep and when I don't sleep I tend to get way hungry. My guess is that being awake and doing stuff burns more calories than sleeping. Further evidence, it's much easier to go over 12 hours without eating when you sleep in the middle of that than when you stay awake doing even very simple things like lying in bed on your phone. Anyway, anyone have any idea how many extra calories you burn by staying awake all night?
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 02, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 2 06:11:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cblzk/daily_food_diary_september_02_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 02, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 2 06:11:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cblyi/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
---
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend went to a party
/u/UsualLetter
Created: Sun Sep 2 06:00:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cbk2d/boyfriend_went_to_a_party/
---
My boyfriend went out to a party last night (drinking, weed, ect.) with a few friends and didnāt invite me. I feel inadequate, like i dont look good enough for him to want to go places with me. there was a girl there that weāre friends with and she is so much prettier and skinner than me and i know he was drunk and high last night and iām nervous heās going to love her more. shes more interesting and pretty and more skinny than me. ive been having a panic attack about it all morning and i just needed to get this out.
I wish I could talk to my boyfriend about all this
/u/ChasingHouse
Created: Sun Sep 2 05:16:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cbcm4/i_wish_i_could_talk_to_my_boyfriend_about_all_this/
---
My boyfriend knows Iām a little iffy with food but not details.
Iām having a shit day and Iāve had 971 calories today and I feel so fat and gross and I just wish I could talk to him about it because heās the only one I want to talk with when Iām upset but I know itāll just stress him if I say Iāve been low restricting š
:/
/u/cankle_skank [5'7" | 123 | 19.4 | 18F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 04:41:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cb73k/_/
---
Having just recently moved to college, I havenāt purged in the longest amount of time since it started, and I feel extremely guilty about it... I start to wonder if this was ever really an issue to begin with or just something I exaggerate.
[Goal] So happy!!
/u/biciklici
Created: Sun Sep 2 04:02:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cb14s/so_happy/
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im finally at 45kgs (99pounds)!!!!
im so happy,i just weighed myself! I finally passed the plateau i have been at for weeks, i took 2kgs in few days, from now on im only taking those number down faster ^^
Think of weight loss like Warfare.
/u/RJW256
Created: Sun Sep 2 03:21:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9cavaj/think_of_weight_loss_like_warfare/
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You could, with great difficulty, beat your enemy with superior weapons and tactics.
Its much more efficient to starve the bastards out. Cut their supply lines and watch them reduce.
[Help] A weekend away
/u/glitchydowner
Created: Sun Sep 2 02:52:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9caqy3/a_weekend_away/
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Going away to stay at a friend's house weekend coming and I can't get over eating out of my head!! I'm having issues losing atm as I'm stuck at a plateau and scared I'll ruin everything if I just binge out :( (probably doesn't help that I'm nearing my period but I just wanna cry!) Anyone got any advice??
[Rant/Rave] Done it again !! Canāt be normal
/u/just-average1
Created: Sun Sep 2 02:46:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9caq5z/done_it_again_cant_be_normal/
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Iām at my heaviest weight ever, Iām in my 30s now and i havenāt felt any ED symptoms for around 5 years ... but then I joined Slimming World. Itās like weight watchers but concentrated on allowed unlimited foods and counting non unlimited foods. Anyway week one I stick to it and I lose 7lbs. Great.
Week 4 and Iām restricting heavily even though I know I donāt need to. I canāt get out of this mindset and Iām drained with it. Iām eating once a day 700 calories! Why why why do I do this?
Sorry just needed to vent
DAE feel fatter after losing weight?
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 00:57:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ca8mb/dae_feel_fatter_after_losing_weight/
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I've lost 10 lbs and i just feel fatter. (Relapse was about 2-3 weeks ago) i don't remember feeling like this before. I always noticed progress. I feel like maybe I haven't really even lost weight. Maybe my scale is wrong. Maybe i was retaining water before, am i losing my shit? I'm so depressed. Nobody has noticed, nobody is concerned, nobody has asked if i lost weight. All i see is more fat...
I have food in my fridge for once
/u/kolimop
Created: Sun Sep 2 00:48:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ca794/i_have_food_in_my_fridge_for_once/
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Is this what being a normal person is like?? I typically have a near empty fridge bc anything brought into my apt will be binged on.
But today...
I boxed part of my brunch and it's STILL in the fridge! I ate reasonably at the restaurant and I didn't shame eat the takeout an hr afterwards!!
I bought two mini cakes and decided... to just not eat them and save them for another day.
I have a pack of cookies and I didn't shove all 30 of them down my throat in one sitting.
I mean, I'll probably binge tomorrow, but today I feel proud of my disordered self.
[Rant/Rave] Coming clean to my boyfriend
/u/toe-beanz [5'2" | CW: 118 | 21.6 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 00:40:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ca60j/coming_clean_to_my_boyfriend/
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I have an uncontrollable desire to come clean to my boyfriend. We live together but he has been gone almost every weekend for a couple months for work / family things. His absent allows me a lot of time to act on impulse, harmful, and unhealthy behaviors. I just purged for the first time after binging, which is a regular occurrence (every night) that he is away. Coming clean would explain a lot of emotional and impulse issues to him, but it scares the shit out of me. I feel as though it would benefit our relationship by reassuring to him that he isnāt the cause of my emotional problems, which he often thinks but I think it may produce more issues. Help??
[Rant/Rave] Does it drive anyone else crazy how people never take their measurements properly?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 2 00:37:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ca5hi/does_it_drive_anyone_else_crazy_how_people_never/
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This is maybe a super specific ED thing but Iāve been doing a lot of online shopping lately and it baffles me how many people donāt take their measurements correctly. I see people all the time claiming to be 145 pounds with a 28 inch bust and 30 inch hips and itās like, maybe your bone structure is abnormally tiny but usually itās that theyāve measured their underbust and highest part of their hips... I know itās not actually a big deal but I find it soooooo triggering because it makes me feel like my bone structure is freakishly large. Just had to get that off my chest somewhere I thought people might understand.
[Other] when you're hungry but you already used up all your calories earlier in the day
/u/chubbyshrimpo
Created: Sun Sep 2 00:12:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ca1dw/when_youre_hungry_but_you_already_used_up_all/
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https://i.redd.it/jwzu1ssjorj11.jpg
[Discussion] Kids meals at restaurants
/u/BunnyAwesome [5'7"| F | CW 120 | GW 110]
Created: Sat Sep 1 23:42:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c9wf4/kids_meals_at_restaurants/
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I'm wondering if anyone has ever ordered a kids meal at restaurants, especially chain restaurants and in the UK but any experience is appreciated. I've done a bit of research and the calorific content is far less scary and more manageable for me but there's a part of me that wonders if I'd be... allowed? to order it as a grown ass woman?
This feels like a weird thing to be asking but i feel awful leaving most of my meal uneaten (It's another thing to leave my own food but the guilt is real when someone else has cooked it, especially as I've worked in food places) and the smaller portion would make the whole debacle so much simpler for me and my anxiety.
Thanks, and love to you all šø
What the fuck is wrong with me
/u/katie1220
Created: Sat Sep 1 23:39:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c9vtf/what_the_fuck_is_wrong_with_me/
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All I want in the world is to be thinner but all I ever think about is food. How do I gain self control so I donāt spend the majority of time eating or thinking about eating. I hate my body and I know everyone else thinks Iām disgusting all I want is to lose weight I need advice
[Discussion] Does anyone else obsess over not just calories but also macros?
/u/xanmanorbartard
Created: Sat Sep 1 23:33:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c9up5/does_anyone_else_obsess_over_not_just_calories/
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I high restrict at about 1200 a day (I'm 5'8, CW: 130) and have found that I'll do almost anything to keep my macros in order. For me this looks like less than 120g carbs, less than 1500mg of sodium, and more than 70g of protein. There's literally no reason for this except I'm terrified of the temporary change in water weight on the scale in the morning. If I go over my allotted carb or sodium budget I'll flush my system with a TON of water, like just under the amount that might give me water toxicity.
It's so maddening because if I didn't have this pointless obsession with macros my eating would be SO much less disordered than it is. I deprive myself of so much and force myself to eat things I hate to keep within my macro guidelines that again, are TOTALLY arbitrary and fucking made up, pulled out of my ass, bullshit. It fucking sucks. It's mostly the sodium that fucks me because there's a ton of things within my budget that just have like 800+ mg of sodium which is more than half of what I allow myself every day.
Like I've been craving pancakes for weeks and watching ihop mukbangs which is ridiculous because I've never had ihop in my entire fucking life. I checked the label of pancake mix that I have in the house out of curiosity and one serving (prepared) is 230 calories, make that 275 with margarine and honey, and yet I can't bring myself to make any in the morning because there's 42g of carbs and I can't rationalize it. Even though it's totally reasonable given my calorie limit. I'm almost in tears rn over some gotdamn pancakes. Anyway hope all y'all are doing better than I am at the moment.
-a long time lurker
Also shoutout to me for using the throwaway i have used literally once before to post in a drug forum with a stupid ass handle. No comment on my username please hah
[Intro] new account, word vomit, need friends, etc
/u/choustrings
Created: Sat Sep 1 22:41:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c9kmk/new_account_word_vomit_need_friends_etc/
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today i ditched my old reddit and started anew, despite the fact that i didnāt post often enough for any of you to remember who i was anyway.
forgive me for the format but iām super sleepy and just wanted to purge my brain before i call it a night.
1. itās been about two months only having lost 5 pounds. before then i was doing well, losing quickly (30 pounds total, although i have a bad memory due to benzos so i canāt exactly remember the time frame)
2. how do you update flairs on this site? lol. is it possible on mobile?
3. i had an irl acquaintance whoās mutually expressed wanting to become friends ask on twitter for someone to talk to about ed things, but i think i got a bit too excited and scared her away. along with my message being very open about my inability to assure her that is talking like that could be constructive in any way, i was sort of looking forward to having someone to talk about this to. even if it turns out to be encouraging to us, tbh thatās kind of want i want right now because holy fuck i feel like shit about myself and have so close until i hit my temporary goal.
4. i got a second job and now work every day, which helps me to forget about food. iām happy about that.
thanks for listening, yāall. this place has always been a sort of safe haven for me.
[Rant/Rave] I hate that i view myself like this now
/u/tarynughhh
Created: Sat Sep 1 22:28:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c9i4z/i_hate_that_i_view_myself_like_this_now/
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I NEVER HAD BODY IMAGE ISSUES BEFORE THIS SUMMER
now all i do is restrict,then binge and purge, and exercise in my room for 2 hours
i hate what i see in the mirror and iām at an all time low weight and all i see is fat and iām disgusted (5ā8 and 115 lbs) i just want things to go back to the way they were and not hate myself as much as i do now
iām literally such a mess (TW) iām suicidal, i cut, i drink, i smoke and NOW THIS as if i need more shit to deal with i hate my mind SO MUCH i just want it to END
DAE not believe their calorie counter?
/u/DistortionPuddle [5'7" | CW:138.5 | BMI:21.7 | GW: 125| 31F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 22:25:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c9hh9/dae_not_believe_their_calorie_counter/
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I enter all my food faithfully, but sometimes I look at the total during the day and think āyeah right, what bullshit.ā
Today, for example, my total count is 660. I feel like Iāve eaten more like 1200. I even overestimated servings just to be safe, but still I feel like the total shown on the Lose It app at the end of the day canāt possibly be correct and that surely Iāll wake up like five pounds heavier. Iām not alone, right?
[Tip] i am panicking because i am going on vacation
/u/chzkayla
Created: Sat Sep 1 22:15:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c9fgl/i_am_panicking_because_i_am_going_on_vacation/
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fuck my life fuck fuck fuck fuck
i am pretty sure i am gonna weigh a ton after my 10 days trip, and i am fucking nervous bc i am gonna be with people, i have considered to bring my weighing machine with me
but if my friends sees that i bring my machine with me, they will know that i am a fucked up disordered asshole, and i cannot let them know that. fuck fuck fuck
i will be walking a lot, and in one of the apartment they have a gym, but fuck i am so scared wkeoqnekqnelrnwkdnlwneowwnk
i donāt even think iāll be able to enjoy the vacation that i have been dreaming about since last december now. fuck i hate this shit.
any tips on how to deal with an eating disorder on a vacation. because i really really want to enjoy myself, and have all the food that i want. fuck fuck fuck. please somebody just give me like a tip or 2.
My pants don't fit anymore
/u/Slice_n_diced
Created: Sat Sep 1 22:10:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c9efh/my_pants_dont_fit_anymore/
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My pants are too loose but not yet loose enough to justify getting new pants, so it's really inconvenient. I got drunk and opened up to a friend about my eating disorder, and how I believe no one will take me seriously because of my current weight (I'm actually obese lmao). I also drunkenly came out as gay to a different friend. Basically, I've made a complete ass of myself and I'm hiding in the bathroom as I'm writing this.
But hey, at least my pants don't fit.
[Discussion] DAE feel too old to have an eating disorder?
/u/pmmesadclowns
Created: Sat Sep 1 22:08:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c9dx7/dae_feel_too_old_to_have_an_eating_disorder/
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OBVIOUSLY eating disorders donāt age discriminate but try telling my dumb brain that.
Maybe itās because Iām mostly active on tumblr (which has a pretty young user base) thatās making me feel like an elderly woman around a bunch of kids, but I definitely feel like a senior citizen in the eating disorder community.
Iām 20 now and sometimes feel like thereās no point to even losing weight because my āprimeā years are gone, even though I know logically that Iām still SO young. Itās a stupid insecurity but an insecurity nonetheless.
[Help] When I move out
/u/avocados_on_toast [168cm | CW: 47kg | BMI: 16.7 | lost: 23kg | F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 21:49:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c99wd/when_i_move_out/
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With my final year of school finishing in a couple of months, I'm hoping to move out next year. Most people are worried about finances and stability, but I'm most worried about my ED getting worse as I'll have full control over my food intake.
At home my family forces us all to sit and eat dinner so there's really no avoiding it when I'm here, but at school I rarely eat. At this point in time I'm unable to get any kind of professional help to get me started on proper recovery, so it's really up to me at the moment. People who've recovered, what's something that helped the most? I hope to have improved majorly before I really start my life I guess
[Rant/Rave] Worried about my roommate even though sheās kind of annoying?
/u/peachypetrina
Created: Sat Sep 1 21:39:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c97ty/worried_about_my_roommate_even_though_shes_kind/
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This week I moved into college and just started living with my randomly assigned roommate. I already know sheās not gonna be one of my close friends because sheās a little bit over-the-top/extra (Iām more laidback and quiet so sheās just too intense for me) but with her over-sharing personality Iāve heard her make different comments about her body.
She spends a lot of time going through different outfits and poses when looking at the mirror while simultaneously sighing and making frustrated remarks. Like, she literally changed into 5 different outfits before she left our room one time. The other day she did that and told me she hates the proportion of her chest to her waist. She goes to the gym a lot (although she says she loves working out) and tonight she ācasuallyā told me she hadnāt eaten anything since 10 am.
So this is conflicting because I do feel bad and I relate to not liking your own body. But damn like she has an attention-seeking personality at the same time so Iām also annoyed and donāt know what to say?
I should mention that sometimes I feel like I could be influencing this. Iām definitely skinnier than her (and who the fuck doesnāt compare their body to this new person they have to live with) and Idk I donāt want to be conceited lol but I wear a lot of nice, flattering outfits. I also brought my scale to college and put it in our bathroom ā she could be tempted to constantly weigh herself and itās a little bit my fault for having it. She doesnāt know Iāve dealt with an eating disorder though because Iāve kind of put disordered eating on a pause this week since so many social events revolve around it and I need to make some damn friends here.
She also has issues with her self esteem when it comes to guys since sheās been led on before so of course this stuff doesnāt come from nowhere. And sheās a theater major and I think any career where youāre in the spotlight makes your susceptible to an ED. Still, Iām not sure if these signs Iāve noticed are her trying to get attention ā especially telling me she hasnāt eaten since morning and then refusing the food I offered her after she told me?? Iām not one to police EDs but usually people keep that shit secret?
[Help] When you have a āgrand master planā of going to gym and doing 1hr cardio/jogging 1hr weights 1hr stretching+sauna+shower BUT....
/u/ohhhhk3
Created: Sat Sep 1 21:12:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c924r/when_you_have_a_grand_master_plan_of_going_to_gym/
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Youāre too anxious to go and feel like a deer in fucking head lights.
Help.
Irrationally triggered by my momās supportive comments
/u/catacomical
Created: Sat Sep 1 21:08:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c91b4/irrationally_triggered_by_my_moms_supportive/
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Just need to rant, sorry guys. So Iāve been lifting for about a year and half now, and have gotten pretty strong. Iām still slim but noticeably more muscular, and my mom is super proud of my progress. One of the ways she shows this is by squeezing my shoulders and marvelling at the muscle Iāve accumulated there. I love my mom and I know sheās just being supportive, but this triggers the FUCK out of me. I can feel my fat and the weight Iāve gained underneath her fingers and urgh it just feels terrible, especially when she compares it to her own skinny shoulders. She also makes some passive aggressive comments sometimes like āwow those arms are like a mans! Well done!ā Or āthem thighs look nice and bigā! I honestly donāt know to cope, I HATE it when other people squeeze parts of my body that Iām insecure about it
How do you deal with body dysmorphia as a bride?
/u/whenthepawndrops
Created: Sat Sep 1 20:57:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c8ywv/how_do_you_deal_with_body_dysmorphia_as_a_bride/
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I know my disordered eating and self image has taking a sharp turn for the worse as I get closer to my wedding. I already told my therapist I didn't think I could make progress on the eating front until after the wedding but I didn't expect my reflection to get this distorted. I feel like I could look at a photo of myself in my wedding dress and think I look huge, or thin, or top heavy, or big bottomed, or just a big blur. It's gotten to a point where I feel so much anxiety about whether my dress fits me because I don't even know anymore. I think the woman who is taking my dress in thinks I am just plain nuts at this point. I honestly wanted to get down two more pounds before my wedding but if I do that now I'll need to have the dress taken in more and it's expensive because of the detail.
Have you experienced this? I'm torn between wanting to feel the satisfaction of my next goal weight and not wanting to have my dress sagging on me. I'm stuck feeling like I have no idea if I look nice anymore or just hating myself so much. On this one day I just want to feel beautiful for once. Lame. True.
Day 19 no-binge and I have my period and just want to consume all
/u/multicolour-squirrel [5'8 |147lbs|-18lbs|GW:132|25F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 20:34:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c8tlt/day_19_nobinge_and_i_have_my_period_and_just_want/
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even my boyfriend is offering to buy me a burger and curly fries for dinner š the struggle is real
[Help] shortness of breath/having to take deep breaths related to ed?
/u/scornedcinnamon
Created: Sat Sep 1 20:22:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c8r2y/shortness_of_breathhaving_to_take_deep_breaths/
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for the past week for so, i've been feeling like i have to take deep breaths somewhat often, especially after i eat. i've also had a few light sinus headaches since noticing this. i do have a history of asthma but that was when i was a lot younger. i started reducing my cals around the end of june but started paying more attention to it by the end of july. i'm high restricting right now (800-1000) with moderate exercise for context. the last time i recall feeling like this was during the school year when i was highly stressed before my midterms but i'm relatively relaxed in the summer now.
i could be just reaching, but i'm not sure if this is indicative of something more serious. could this be related to my eating disorder? or is asthma linked to EDs? it doesn't feel wheezy but the shortness of breath is frustrating. it interferes with my desire to physically eat, which might be considered good, but it makes me feel bloated and i feel super weak and irritable when i'm not able to eat the low cal option i planned. i normally end up eating the food anyway lol but it's not a great feeling.
[Other] HOW TO LOSE YOUR APPETITE FOREVER *WARNING THIS IS ACTUALLY DISGUSTING & NOT ACTUALLY A TIP*
/u/heyheypicklejay [5'1 | cw 98 | gw 90 | bmi 19.32 | 20F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 19:58:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c8lkw/how_to_lose_your_appetite_forever_warning_this_is/
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WANNA KNOW HOW TO LOSE YOUR APPETITE FOREVER?!
Just do what I did & store some food in your oven to save some space in your tiny kitchen (just a single bag of onions will do the trick) & then accidentally forget about them! Eventually, they'll rot without you ever even knowing, & by the time you finally remember they're in there, fruit flies will have caught on to the rotting food in your oven and lay eggs in that fucking wasted space!!!!
The shock of finding LIVE FLY LARVAE ALL OVER THE BOTTOM OF YOUR FUCKING OVEN will make you never want to step back into your kitchen! Not to mention, the self-loathing you'll feel after knowing you did this all to yourself will make you feel even less deserving of food ever again!
Sorry to be totally gross but I am so completely disgusted at my own ignorance. I actually really dont know what to do because I live alone and am too embarassed and feel too stupid to ask anyone else what I should do. Sorry again for the vivid imagery.
TLDR; I left onions in my oven to rot & my oven is now filled with fruit fly larvae.
[Rant/Rave] Stop fucking commenting on how I look already
/u/sadboy4life
Created: Sat Sep 1 19:35:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c8g7x/stop_fucking_commenting_on_how_i_look_already/
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First time writer, long time lurker here.
Just need to vent a bit and donāt really know where else to do it, so here we go.
Spent last week on an educational program for work. It was great except for this one college who is really one of my best friends from work, who kept commenting on my body and how I dressed. It was not even only mean comments but it made me really uncomfortable and angry anyways. Like one time he touched my stomach and said āyou almost have a six pack.ā I just wanted to tell him that comments like that is the reason I lock my self in a room just to purge and the reason that Iāve spent the last 5 years in-and-out of psychiatrics-offices.
On the last night we all had a big dinner together and he commented on my eating habits and then on my clothes and I just lost it. All the feelings I had built up from all his comments through out the week just bursted out and I had to leave. I ended up crying outside the restaurant.
I was just so angry. Why do people think itās ok to comment on me all the time? I just want to tell them to mind their own fucking business but Iām to scared of confrontation so I always just end up not telling them off.
[Tip] Anti-weekend binging trick
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 18:57:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c87g4/antiweekend_binging_trick/
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I posted a few days ago about being committed to not binging, and so far so good! I ate at maintenance yesterday, which I donāt feel guilty about whatsoever, though I do feel like I look bigger today but thatās probably inaccurate. Anyway, I noticed myself doing this thing where I would relive last Saturdayās binge. So at like ten Iād think āby this time last Saturday I had eaten x,y,z.ā And then Iād relive all the shame and bloated feelings and it has really helped motivate me. I also wrote a note in my phone w reasons not to binge and then set a few reminders that said āread the noteā and that has helped. tbh I havenāt eaten since yesterday and Iām 20 hours away from accidentally finishing my 24 hour fast but I am so tempted to just keep it going. Though Iām scared that might trigger a binge...
Family BBQ happening rn..
/u/speedayyyy
Created: Sat Sep 1 18:55:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c86wp/family_bbq_happening_rn/
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I fasted for two days to prepare for this, worked out like crazy and didnāt eat at work despite running around for 10 hours today. Iām still freaking out. Iām having one tiny burger and one hot dog. Amounting to a whopping 600 calories. The food isnāt donāt yet but Iām still freaking out internally about eating all of it. I probably wonāt be able to finish it :/ I hate outings with food.
[Discussion] Dae find their appetite/hunger varies a lot day to day?
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 150 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -12| f21]
Created: Sat Sep 1 18:31:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c81b0/dae_find_their_appetitehunger_varies_a_lot_day_to/
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Some days I can eat very little with no issue, I'm happy, energetic and don't think much about food. Other days I can barely stay under 1200 and feel like I'm biding time to eat again. But not In a binge way, I'm just super, Super hungry. I eat similar stuff at the same time everyday so I don't think that's related, I just feel famished some days and not others.
[Help] Binge Free Day 1
/u/thingsarestranger [5ā2ā | CW: 125 | HW: 160 | GW: 95 | F ]
Created: Sat Sep 1 18:06:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c7vji/binge_free_day_1/
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Hi all. Iām already struggling with day 1 :( for the past week or two I have binged and purged 3-5 times a day everyday so Iām like going crazy craving a binge right now. Iāve only had 250 cals rn. I know logically I should just eat a snack or a meal but nope my stupid brain wants to eat everything and throw it all up. Helppppp. Iām the one who made the stupid post and Iām already struggling. How are you all doing? Were you successful today or did you slip up? Any plans for getting back on track if you did slip up?
What is it like having body dysmorphia? How do you know if you have it?
/u/catsrule-humansdrool [5'5 | CW 153 | -58 lbs | 25.5 BMI | 23F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 17:51:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c7ryp/what_is_it_like_having_body_dysmorphia_how_do_you/
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I went to my therapist again recently because my depression has gotten pretty unmanageable, and I mentioned that I will consider getting back on meds, but only if they're not any of the ones that can make you gain weight. And then after a while of talking more about my eating disorder (but she won't formally diagnose me because it's not her area of expertise), she mentioned that she thinks I might have body dysmorphia. Honestly, I don't really think I do, but if I did... how would I know?
[Discussion] Weirdest things youāve done during a binge?
/u/fernsandfoxes [5'5.5"|CW:109|BMI:18|GW:100|19F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 17:10:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c7i3e/weirdest_things_youve_done_during_a_binge/
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Mine are eating brown sugar straight from the bag and pitting an avocado with my teeth because the knives were all dirty. I really wanted that fucking avocado š³
[Help] I can't help but involuntary purge anymore when I eat something I know I shouldn't have
/u/Minicarrotmuffin
Created: Sat Sep 1 17:08:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c7hfn/i_cant_help_but_involuntary_purge_anymore_when_i/
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I ate cake and immediately threw it up because my body just didn't want it. I don't even have to stick my finger down my throat anymore so I guess this is a win :/
Hydroxycut
/u/Pettyinblack [5'2|CW130|HW170|F28]
Created: Sat Sep 1 16:57:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c7env/hydroxycut/
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Ok yāall, Iām hoping I can get some feedback.
What version of hydroxycut have you taken? I went to check it out and there are like 5 different variations. For women? Gummyās? Max? Normal? Whatās the difference? What have you tried? Did it work for you? Side effects?
[Rant/Rave] Stress
/u/n34543 [5'5 | CW: 127 | 21.1 | GW: 117 ]
Created: Sat Sep 1 16:44:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c7b7n/stress/
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Are you ever just stressed and losing weight and restricting and not fucking hungry but then get the urge to fucking eat?
BECAUSE I JUST HAD A HALF OF A WHOLE BRAND NEW BAG OF GRANOLA THAT MY MOM HAD HID SO I WOULDNT BINGE AND I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE
How do I stop
[Help] i almost passed out please help
/u/rainesaway
Created: Sat Sep 1 16:31:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c77sv/i_almost_passed_out_please_help/
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so i was restricting a lot for about 2 months and for the past couple days iāve been eating ānormallyā. but, i didnāt eat more than 300 calories until about 4 and i almost passed out. any idea of why?
[Help] What are other things that you eat to prevent snacking (i.e. other than gum or diet coke)?
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Sat Sep 1 16:31:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c77sp/what_are_other_things_that_you_eat_to_prevent/
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Typically whenever Iām in a āsnackyā mood at home, I always turn to drowning my body in diet coke or chewing packets of gum.
Thatās starting to get old so, what do you do?
Thank you to this sub!! ā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø
/u/jjamjamm
Created: Sat Sep 1 16:17:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c746h/thank_you_to_this_sub/
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Just wanted to give my thanks to everyone in this sub. You guys built me up when irl didn't know how to and encouraged me to work on a healthy relationship with food. I wasn't the most vocal person on this sub but when I was here, the people were very compassionate and welcoming about my circumstances. Y'all comforted me when I was at my lowest and I couldn't be more proud to be a part of a group of internet friends. I probably wouldn't be alive without you guys.
It's been about four months since I last weighed my food and two since I felt guilty about the numbers on the scale and I couldn't be more relieved. Today I checked something off of my food bucket list a slice from artichoke pizza, which if you're from New York you know is giant, (buttery, creamy, and so so cheesey) and a large cup of bubble tea by myself. Didn't even think about the calories the entire time either!
I still have some issues to work through (how slowly I eat, planning a workout around my consumption, buying backup gum etc) but it's been weeks since I thought about purging, so I want to give a shout-out to everyone who was imvolved in this healing process, either via a reply or an upvote.
ED making going back to uni hard
/u/cherryxnut
Created: Sat Sep 1 15:57:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c6yu1/ed_making_going_back_to_uni_hard/
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I start my second year in about 2 weeks. Iāve never been happy with my body but my recent relapse is making me feel borderline suicidal about it. The idea of going back to uni, being around loads of people, being judged etc is really provoking a lot of anxiety. I donāt have friends there either for support. Just feel sick even thinking about classes... ugh!
[Other] Has anyone made Zero Point Soup?
/u/OmegaChance
Created: Sat Sep 1 15:39:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c6u3a/has_anyone_made_zero_point_soup/
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https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.geniuskitchen.com/amp/recipe/ww-0-point-weight-watchers-cabbage-soup-128956
DAE get brief "glimpses into reality"?
/u/whatsacal
Created: Sat Sep 1 15:08:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c6l6l/dae_get_brief_glimpses_into_reality/
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got in the shower today and, in the mirror, was able to get a good look at my collarbones and ribs and waist and was like "yeah this is definitely progress. this could probably be a good final weight"
but then i got out of the shower and was somehow fat in the same mirror??
does anyone else have these moments? like, I could see my actual weight for a second, I swear
I don't have any particular cravings or hunger...
/u/CountingKittyCats
Created: Sat Sep 1 15:00:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c6iri/i_dont_have_any_particular_cravings_or_hunger/
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So why am I sitting around c/sing a box of chips ahoy, a bag of skittles, some fun sized snickers, a "party" pizza, another generic frozen pizza, and a coconut cake drinking?
I needed to fill up the gas in my car, so then I figured I might as well go to Walmart on the way back and gave myself $12 to spend on junk food despite not really craving anything particular. I basically just figured I'd get some as "entertainment" while drinking today.
RIP.
I can't think of a relevant title šÆ
/u/rachelrayromano [5'4" | CW BINGE BLIMP | 19.86 |F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 14:34:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c6bxh/i_cant_think_of_a_relevant_title/
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I'm taking my lunch break at the park across from my work. There's an art in the park event and they have live music and performers who dance. Two belly dancers just danced so freely and they were so happy and the crowd loved them. One was close to my weight, but the other was bigger. They both smiled and enjoyed themselves, they seemed so calm and happy. They both showed off their stomachs and I was so happy for them both, but also so jealous that I couldn't do that ever. I just can't put myself in that mental space and I can't give myself permission to enjoy my body. I froze and couldn't leave and I'm kind of glad because I made myself sit though a baby panic attack and I'm trying to deal with whatever these feelings are instead of ignoring them. I didn't have breakfast and I'm not eating lunch and I'm just sitting here watching them dance and wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. What kind of life am I living? I'm shaking just trying to comprehend this existential crisis. Idk what to do. I just want to be happy and normal, whatever that is.
[Rant/Rave] REVERSE REVERSE
/u/fastingfrycook
Created: Sat Sep 1 14:03:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c63ed/reverse_reverse/
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I told myself this wasn'tĀ going to be a real problem. That giving in to this relapse would be fine. IĀ mean, ifĀ even really was one -- was that first episode real? Was I faking it then? It seemed to end so quickly, though I think I put in effort.Ā
Other people have been worse. I was faking it. This episode was probably the real first one, but was it really? I haven't lost weight. I restrict and I binge and i purge, but I don't do any of that THAT much, not as much as other people. I'm obsessed, yeah, but I could quit any time I wanted to. I panic all the time and this is putting a strain on all my relationships but it's fine.Ā
In fact, I'm only letting this happen because I probably should just work it out with my therapist when I go back to school in January. That can be when I start recovery! Until then it'll be fine. Just like when I spent all summer doing drugs and planned to just quit cold turkey when back to school.
Except I got high a lot that semester! š¤ And except now I'm thinking about how hard it is sometimes to get away with my bullshit here, how easy it was when I ACTUALLY started to show symptoms again during my last semester, not just at the start of the summer when I finally realized what was going on.
Not that I really accepted it.Ā
I thought shrooms would cure me but all they did was make me feel in tune with my skeleton. I panicked over disappointing everyone with my mental illnesses and did a line of meth because fuck it, then spent 2 days without sleep (and more meth the next day) and suffered the depressive, suicidal comedown. Not before making an idiot of myself to my friends and boyfriend, though, in some attempt to make them finally hate me enough to let me die alone.
But I talked to my sister for hours and hours about my daily life with an eating disorder. She listened to all of it and she doesn't fully understand but she is supportive of me eventually getting better but she even said it's something that, while on some level I'll have to deal with my whole life, is something I can manage and is worth managing as recovery becomes something I'm willing to work toward.
I'm scared about how much I feel sometimes that my real self is dying under this. What if I made a mistake letting this take over? Why didn't I expect that to make recovery harder to want?Ā
Why did I let this become real and why can't I accept that it's real?
Just taken 6 sachets of Andrews salts
/u/littlegoldsmith
Created: Sat Sep 1 13:46:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c5yqr/just_taken_6_sachets_of_andrews_salts/
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Had a bad cold on holiday for the last three days an didnāt want to b/p yesterday so ate normally which I havenāt done in nearly a year. Fast forward to today and I look very pregnant š¤° so went and bought some Andrews salts original. Took 6 sachets, will it take a while to kick in or just a few hours? In a lotttt of pain from being backed up
[Goal] September 1st! Anyone wanna be fresh start buddies?
/u/foxmilk [5'3 | 138 | 24.2 | f]
Created: Sat Sep 1 13:44:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c5y6z/september_1st_anyone_wanna_be_fresh_start_buddies/
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[removed]
Weight has been at a plateau and it's killing me?
/u/beezythegiraffe
Created: Sat Sep 1 13:37:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c5vy2/weight_has_been_at_a_plateau_and_its_killing_me/
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So I'm currently at 95.2 lb. Occasionally it will fluctuate by a pound or two due to water weight, but on average ive been 95 for six months. I've been steadily trying to lose it this whole time but *it just won't go away!* I eat about 700 cal a day and I'm extremely active, I just don't understand?? I was at my lowest weight ever a few years ago at 83.2 lb, but that was with the assistance of cocaine and meth, and ever since I went clean (3 years now) I just can't get back down that low! It's killing me but I would never turn to drugs to lose weight again. What do I do?? Do you guys have any tricks for getting out of a hard plateau?
[Goal] Starting my first ever 24h- 48h fast
/u/gauntlyghost [1.68cm | CW :cake: | BMI 19something | F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 12:48:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c5i9z/starting_my_first_ever_24h_48h_fast/
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Starting my first ever 24h- 48h fast. I've never tried to do it for longer than 16 hours but I'm planning on doing a Junk Food Free September and I want to be 'empty' when I start. Please send me some good positive vibes!
Relapsed after 6 months of not purging
/u/lizbites
Created: Sat Sep 1 12:43:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c5goz/relapsed_after_6_months_of_not_purging/
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Today I ate some leftover sushi after a workout... Iām not sure if it had actually gone bad or if I just convinced myself that it had, but I made myself throw it up afterwards.
If any of you have purged sushi before, then you know itās fucking disgusting and it literally looks like sewage in the toilet.
Iām grossed out and disappointed with myself but I also canāt help but enjoy the high afterwards... not sure what to do from here.
Anyway, just wanted to tell somebody who might understand. Thanks for listening.
[Rant/Rave] I ate a mustard packet at work today
/u/solidpenis
Created: Sat Sep 1 12:42:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c5gj5/i_ate_a_mustard_packet_at_work_today/
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How does shit like this happen lmao. Iāve been so anxious about gaining recently too feels like Iām losing my fucking mind over one stupid binge day after a couple weeks of heavy restricting. Itās so much more of an emotional set back than a physical one every time but I try convincing myself of that and itās like I canāt compute
[Goal] Bought a pair of goal pants
/u/sadbirdie12
Created: Sat Sep 1 12:08:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c56vl/bought_a_pair_of_goal_pants/
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Iām on track towards my GW, having an easy time water fasting and extremely low restricting. Bought myself a pair of 24 inch waist pants to fit in when I get there... and I can fit in them! They button and zip up, very uncomfortable and not wearable now but it makes me feel so close.
[Discussion] Fasting with a bunch of stimulants and almost fainted on day one - what went wrong?
/u/ineedalifeee
Created: Sat Sep 1 11:55:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c533r/fasting_with_a_bunch_of_stimulants_and_almost/
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Yesterday I started a fast, except Iād eat around 200 calories when itās time to take vitamins/meds so I wouldnāt hurt my stomach. I had almost all of an egg white delight from McDonaldās around 9am (yuck was gross). Around 5pm whenever Iād stand up my vision went black, and Iād stumble. I used to be able to water fast for days in a row without dying! It got really scary so I had to eventually force myself to eat, to which it then stopped. I also noticed before I ate, whenever I laid down my hands and feet were more prone to becoming numb than usual.
In the morning I took 200mg caffeine and 12.5mg ephedrine, which I shouldnāt have issues with because I drink caffeine on a regular basis as well as using bronkaid.
Would it be right to assume it was my blood sugar and not lack of electrolytes? I would like to try fasting again today, but maybe including half a regular Gatorade a day (with added sugar). What are you guys thoughts?
Anyone else use Losertown and lost faster than what it said?
/u/Tatytat24
Created: Sat Sep 1 11:15:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c4rpa/anyone_else_use_losertown_and_lost_faster_than/
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If you're not familiar with Losertown it's a website where you can input your info and calories to see where your weight can be if you continue on that diet.. I've been losing faster than what it said I would. Just curious if anyone else had that happen to them as well.
[Discussion] Anybody else have any IRL ED friends and cherish those friendships?
/u/sunnshine67 [5'4 vampire | CW 137.2 | 23.7 | -27.8 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 11:12:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c4qx4/anybody_else_have_any_irl_ed_friends_and_cherish/
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I have a friend with an ED and idk how we both figured out we both have issues but we did and now we can talk about it openly and itās honestly so fucking freeing. Like some of my close friends know about my ED and they are supportive but they donāt get it ya know? But with my one friend I can say something fucked up and she doesnāt judge and she understands and honestly itās so nice
Fellow ladies that are usually the heavier ones in the group at bars and clubs and then get generally avoided, can we talk about it?
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 11:06:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c4p0n/fellow_ladies_that_are_usually_the_heavier_ones/
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Iām on vacation and Iāve binged all week
/u/robreinerismydad
Created: Sat Sep 1 11:03:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c4o7l/im_on_vacation_and_ive_binged_all_week/
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After 3 weeks of successful IF, Iām sure I have gained it all back and then some. I have constant heartburn and sour stomach. Iām not pooping normally, I think Iām throwing off my digestive system by stuffing so much junk in. I had to buy new shirts bc I couldnāt stand how my stomach looked in the smaller tanks I brought. I eat chips, candy, and donuts for breakfast. I eat all day long, into the night. I feel disgusting and I canāt wait to get back home and starve myself again. I literally cannot stop. Every day I wake up and tell myself ātoday will be differentā, but itās like a drug. During a normal week, I can control my eating. But vacation just wrecks everything. My MIL has taken photos of me, and I just look huge. I just needed to vent.
ok
/u/cursedconcubine
Created: Sat Sep 1 10:45:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c4iwq/ok/
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https://i.redd.it/cn6gpecvonj11.jpg
[Other] Ugh....
/u/ohdarlingyourefucked
Created: Sat Sep 1 10:44:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c4igo/ugh/
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I was doing so well until a last minute family dinner yesterday. I was planning on just a salad but I ended up eating a bit of the two appetizers that got ordered plus an order of chicken bites. I told myself it would be fine and Iād just continue on and try better today. Well I just downed an large iced pumpkin latte and a bacon waffle sandwich. Iām disgustingly full. š Iām going to a ball game tonight but Iām planning to just fast for the rest of the day. I hate myself. I want this food out of me!
Can't weight myself for a month
/u/Freaks-Cacao [176cm | 71,5kg | 22,3 | 3,5kg | Female]
Created: Sat Sep 1 10:29:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c4e08/cant_weight_myself_for_a_month/
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Hello !
So this month I will live with my brother. Good thing is I won't be homeless. Bad thing is that he's really, really mad about letting me live with him.
Other Bad thing is that he does not own a body scale (how ?!). I already have a body scale that is in a box in a storage room somewhere in Paris, so I should not buy another one just for this month, especially since I will have money issues this month. But at the same time, I can't see myself not weighting myself for a month. I really risk to go in the storage room and unpack a box so I can find my scale, but it would really be messy, over the top, and it might get my brother suspicious. He was already kind of pissed and worried when I ate something like a fourth of the amount of pasta he ate yesterday, and with nous sauce...
Also, I hate that I can't weight what I eat, that I'm scrutinized, that my brother and his flatmates drink beers every evening and eat sooo much, and that I can't really cook my weird ED foods for myself. I will have to find a ton of excuses and "eat with friends" all the time, which won't be realistic since I have no money.
But I'm not homeless, and that rocks !!
I found this journal entry and, while not the most eloquent, it really sums up how I feel at my lowest. I just wanted to share.
/u/trytostay
Created: Sat Sep 1 10:28:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c4dpn/i_found_this_journal_entry_and_while_not_the_most/
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https://i.redd.it/v25uzmcrlnj11.jpg
@ Ladies (and Gents) who did/are doing C25K
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8" | CW: 128.2 & BMI: 19.5 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 10:27:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c4diz/ladies_and_gents_who_didare_doing_c25k/
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How do you not die?? I couldnāt make survive the 1/2 half of Week 1 Day 1 because it felt like my legs were tingle and were gonna fall off? And I wasnāt even going hard on the jogging portions. Advice please.
[Help] Does anyone here have any experience with wigs after hair loss?
/u/halconpequena [5'7" | gw 108 | f24 | formerly /u/screamingfalcon]
Created: Sat Sep 1 10:11:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c48up/does_anyone_here_have_any_experience_with_wigs/
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So my constant binging and restricting, vitamin deficiency, and stress/depression has led to A LOT of my hair being much much thinner :( maybe bleaching it for a few years also, not sure... my hair was so nice before and I cry about this sometimes lol.
Itās now so thin you can see my scalp and I just want to die being out in public. Iām about to start some classes and I want to have a wig so no one can tell. Even someone I was recently casually seeing always commented on my hair and āoh wow your hair is soooo thin I can see your scalp?ā on a regular basis and it made me feel like trash. Does anyone here have an recommendations where to buy relatively cheap wigs? I would actually prefer them to be synthetic hair for now so I get some practice and can switch them out more often. I would also like to find some lace front wigs so it looks more like my actual hair. In case it matters, I have very dark brown hair that is naturally pretty wavy/big curled.
Really any advice is appreciated, and hopefully someone else can use the advice here also!
Restricting is easy...
/u/intothepanicroom
Created: Sat Sep 1 10:00:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c45lb/restricting_is_easy/
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Restricting is easy when you canāt afford food š© what the fuck is my life?
[Discussion] SEPTEMBER 1ST WEIGH IN THREAD AYYYYEEEE
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 167 lbs | -10.2 lbs |29.23 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 09:59:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c450s/september_1st_weigh_in_thread_ayyyyeeee/
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Hey, everyone <3
​
So a bunch of people here, myself included, were waiting until September 1st to weigh ourselves for various reasons. I felt like it motivated me a lot to have a specific date set in mind when I would find out how well I've done, and it kept me from getting discouraged by minor gains from water, bloating, etc.
All told, I went two weeks and three days without weighing myself at all (and I own a scale).
So how did we do??? I'll go first :\]
I went from 177.2 (disgusting) to 167.0 (still disgusting BUT I LOST OVER TEN POUNDS and I was terrified I would have only lost 1-3 pounds or even gained somehow.
I am finally just "overweight" instead of "obese" and I could cry. I feel so motivated and I decided I'm only going to weigh myself once or twice a week at the most from now on.
I hope all of you had a good weigh in, whatever that means for you personally <3
[Discussion] What do you guys consider a binge?
/u/not-creative-enough-
Created: Sat Sep 1 09:57:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c44ms/what_do_you_guys_consider_a_binge/
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For me itās my intention with how I ate. Like today I āsigned upā for no-binge September (another member made a post) and within a couple hours I completely forgot and just ate like 800 calories in binge-mode. Iām still under my calorie goal and can keep that there for the rest of the day, but I still think of what I did as a binge and feel like I failed already.
Also, how do you guys pull yourself from binge mode? My body has felt absolutely sick at the thought of food and I donāt want to eat but my head is still like āfuck it!! Letās go binge and feel like shit!! That sounds like a great time ya know!ā
i sure do wish i could feel something!
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 107|16.7|UGW: 103|F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 09:46:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c41b9/i_sure_do_wish_i_could_feel_something/
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just weighed myself, 104.4, guess i wooshed? i weighed multiple times in different areas to make sure it was accurate and yep. thatās under my previous UGW of 105 and a pound and a half away from my new UGW. iām supposed to switch to maintenance calories now but uhhhhh calorie machine broke so now iām just laying in bed sadly on my phone as usual, just knowing iām at the weight i was supposed to want :/
[Rant/Rave] Waitressing at a restaurant while fasting
/u/bvad4780
Created: Sat Sep 1 09:43:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c40m9/waitressing_at_a_restaurant_while_fasting/
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Itās fucking impossible, I have to watch people eat, I have to smell it, look at it, make it in some cases. Sometimes itās almost unbearable to not eat, Iām constantly thinking about food because I have to to do my job. I get unlimited free drinks while I work (black coffee and Diet Coke get me through). The only thing stopping me from eating is keeping myself busy constantly and thinking about all the calories in each dish (a panzorotti alone is easily 2500kcals and that turns me right off.) I try to work as hard as possible to stop from eating and burning as many calories as possible. Iām in the middle the longest fast Iāve ever done (38 hours as of now) and Iām about to go into an 8 hour shift and Iām super nervous about whatās going to happen today.
Being around so much bad food while fasting is doing my head in. Thanks for letting me vent ā¤ļø
[Discussion] Anyone else get excited about trying a new lax?
/u/SensiblePizza
Created: Sat Sep 1 09:31:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c3x8t/anyone_else_get_excited_about_trying_a_new_lax/
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Sometimes when I fall into a total despondent state with my diet (10+ days of over 2500 calories) I find the only way to snap back into it is to get something new like a new meal or a new type of lax /appetite suppressant.
Over the years I've slowly introduced and now take regularly senna, biscodyl, Andrews salts, lactulose, colax aloe vera, milk of magnesia, sodium docusate, psyllium husk, various types of suppositories, orlistat.
Now I'm trying califig sugar free syrup - never tried it before so here's hoping for some miracles. I'm looking forward to trying it and hope I can replace some of the other types of lax.
[Rant/Rave] Rant: having to eat lunch and not even understanding the concept anymore
/u/LemonsnRoses
Created: Sat Sep 1 09:23:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c3v22/rant_having_to_eat_lunch_and_not_even/
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So all of last year and the year before I would skip lunch at school or eat like one granola bar. The people who I sat with would do the same or have like a sandwich. Normal, right? Wrong. This year Iām sitting with a ton of people who eat A TON of lunch. And this isnāt to shame anyone, obviously. I donāt think thereās anything wrong with it, I just donāt get it. Their lunch boxes are marry poppinsās bag. Every time Iām like, āokay, so youāve had chips, carrots, a granola bar, a sandwich, and an apple...youāre done ri-OH THERES A YOGURT!?ā It makes it so much harder to restrict because it looks weird if Iām not eating too.
The following is my ānot looking like I have an edā experiment:
- Day one I brought like an apple and something else small but shared it with everyone, and that was normal for me before. But obviously it looked weird.
-Day two: So the next day I tried to do better and brought a small dish that I made for 185 calories, but looked substantial. It looked like stir fry to the untrained eye, but it was all cauliflower rice and low cal veggies in hot sauce and soy sauce. Normal, rIGHT?? Nope. Only brought one thing. Clearly not right yet.
-Day three: this baby rolls around the corner like a truck, okay? Wasnāt ready. Like an amateur, I brought only an energy drink because I binged the night before and didnāt allow myself the orange that I had packed. Major fail. Experiment normal is crumbling before my very eyes.
-Day four: upping the ante. Decided that if I brought some carrots, some salad, and some fruit I would pass. Normal, right?? Eating only veg and fruits and salad with no dressing?? Slightly less of a fail than the previous days. Most normal day yet, I hope. I mean, I did bring multiple items?? That has to count for something??
-Day five: gave up. Brought a protein shake. Binged on pizza and ice cream when I got home because I was stressed. Undid this whole week. Fasting over Labor Day weekend. Why is it so bad to be normal?
Just got an airfryer. What are some foods I can make tastier with this?
/u/DexterIbarbo
Created: Sat Sep 1 09:21:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c3ubd/just_got_an_airfryer_what_are_some_foods_i_can/
---
I've gained so much and I hate myself
/u/CaloriesInCaloriesIn [160cm| 61.8kg | 24 | -11kg | F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 09:20:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c3u30/ive_gained_so_much_and_i_hate_myself/
---
Do you ever wish you could go back in time just a few months? Back in February I was so close to my UGW. I was around 53kg I only needed to lose 3 more kilos! I decided to fast and low restrict to get there quicker, but then I fucked up so bad and binged from then until now. I kept trying to get back into restricting but I just kept on fucking up every day, hating myself more and more, avoiding the scales.
I finally weighed myself today I was expecting around 60kg and I'm so pissed for letting myself get to 62kg. That's nearly 10 kilos gained in 7 months. I'm so disgusted by myself. It makes me wanna low restrict and fast for months but I know that's what got me into this binge-restrict cycle in the first place. I'm gonna try losing weight more healthily, high restricting around 1200-1400 calories a day and exercising most days. Iāll only weigh myself a couple of times a week, otherwise I know I'll get impatient or depressed if my weight fluctuates too much. It'll be slow but I'll get there.
​
[Discussion] Is it just me or is it easier to fast on your period?
/u/LemonsnRoses
Created: Sat Sep 1 09:08:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c3qq8/is_it_just_me_or_is_it_easier_to_fast_on_your/
---
I know that when youāre on your period, youāre supposed to get tons of cravings and stuff, but I kinda donāt? I binge a couple of times the week before, but during my period I almost always can fast for like 3-4 days. As someone who prefers to restrict, this isnāt exactly normal for me to be able to just pull a 4 day fast out of my ass. I was just wondering if anyone can relate or if thereās a reason.
I desperately need to eat but I can't physically leave my apartment.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 52.5 | 17.54/17.34 | (U)GW: 52.3 (50) | 26F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 08:52:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c3mcz/i_desperately_need_to_eat_but_i_cant_physically/
---
I'm struggling so much right now. I got up to go to the bathroom and had to lay down first. My pulse is light and fluttery. I'm scared that if I try to walk down my five flights of stairs I'll pass out.
I think/hope it's just blood sugar. I tried to have a full calorie Coke earlier but I think it just delayed the inevitable crash. But I've never felt this utterly helpless and shitty before...
I'm so scared.
How many mg of caffeine do you usually consume in a day?
/u/cornpoppet [160cm | CW~116lbs | BMI 20 | -35lbs | 17F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 08:40:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c3j1n/how_many_mg_of_caffeine_do_you_usually_consume_in/
---
Like a lot of others on here, I rely on caffeine to get thru most days. I noticed that my tolerance has gone up a bit, but personally I dont want to up my intake by much.
I usually have something like 2 cups of black coffee a day, and sometimes a 100mg tabletbat a later point in the day. Also started drinking monster but im apprenhensive to drinking coffee until some hours after that.
[Rant/Rave] BY CHLOE nutritional information????
/u/crossdressingcarp
Created: Sat Sep 1 08:26:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c3fb0/by_chloe_nutritional_information/
---
i love by chloe with all my heart, but i hardly ever eat there because not knowing the calories turns me into an anxious mess. i haaaaate it when restaurant chains donāt provide nutritional information. š©
Help Iām panicking
/u/UnlikelyTaste
Created: Sat Sep 1 08:25:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c3f3g/help_im_panicking/
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Iāve been restricting the whole week, and now I have eaten around 2000 calories and I feel like shit. Will I gain a lot of weight? Please will someone reassure me that the world is not going to explode
[Goal] Letās see how long I can fast
/u/7M7j7KGMM8uuwNnW
Created: Sat Sep 1 08:21:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c3e90/lets_see_how_long_i_can_fast/
---
I think I hit a wall with my weight loss, Iām down -14 lbs but my goal is -45 lbs.
I havenāt been fasting like I did in the beginning, plus I had way more calories than usual yesterday so my goal today is fasting 24 hours. Iām sitting at 16 hours right now and hanging in. Just now starting to be a struggle.
Water, tea, coffee. Iāve seen women on this sub do 72 hours so I know I can do 24.
I can do this. Stay strong, me.
ALL HAIL VODKA
/u/incognitomiscreant [5'6 | CW: 129 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 08:18:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c3dck/all_hail_vodka/
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USUALLY I DRINK BEER AND GET FAT BUT TODAY I WOKE UP NOT FAT BECAUSE I GOT DRUNK ON VODKA bye <3
Curious as to most of your breakfasts
/u/PikachuQueen
Created: Sat Sep 1 08:12:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c3bwn/curious_as_to_most_of_your_breakfasts/
---
https://i.redd.it/muvipcimxmj11.jpg
[Goal] Is my goal too low?
/u/NoMoneyForDrugs
Created: Sat Sep 1 08:09:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c3b0d/is_my_goal_too_low/
---
Male 22 183cm 62.7kg. Do you think I can go to 58kg without negative side effects?
I really believe BMI doesnāt apply in my case since I donāt have a lot of muscle so I should be okay I think?
[Discussion] DAE have nightmares of eating?
/u/feellikegucci [5'2 | cw: 145 | 26.4 | gw: 88 | -13lbs | 18 F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 07:36:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c338j/dae_have_nightmares_of_eating/
---
Lately I've been having so many of those: I go to sleep on an empty stomach, usually when I did well and ate much less than my maximum intake, and it happens. I dream that I've woken up and decided to eat a lot, thus ruining my intake. I dream that I'm binging and purging in the middle of the night. I dream of someone force feeding me hundreds and thousands of calories.
And then I wake up terrified because for those moments, I actually think it was real and "damn this day was a failure I ate so much". Sometimes it's so convincing I go through the whole day doubting myself "but wait what if it wasn't a dream and I really did eat??". Thus a fast or a low restriction is triggered just to be sure.
I hate how illogical my ed makes me sometimes.
[Help] Best way to help my ED GF?
/u/fringing
Created: Sat Sep 1 07:05:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c2wdl/best_way_to_help_my_ed_gf/
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My GF has been struggling with an ED for the better part of her life. I know she likes to binge and purge but she tries really hard not to cause she doesnāt want to do it anymore. She says that she just literally canāt help it and has to get it out cause itās gonna come up either way. I go out and buy her whatever food sheās craving or wants and I hold her a lot afterwards while she tries to keep it down. I try really hard not to suggest any kind of foods or stress her out at all before we eat. I just recently started dieting again and restricting my calories (in an unhealthy way) I say itās cause Iām sick (cause I am just got out of the ER today with pneumonia) Iām starting to think the jig is up though cause sheās starting to notice I donāt eat very much at all. Sheās starting puking behind my back and I donāt know what to do. I used to be over a 40 BMI and refuse to go back but if itās triggering her to not eat I really donāt know what Iām supposed to do :(
[Goal] When the numbers on the digital scale dip down, but then level out the to same dang number as yesterday
/u/BeginningBarnacle [5'4.5"|126lbs|21.3 BMI|10lbs:downvote:|F:redditgold:]
Created: Sat Sep 1 06:26:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c2odm/when_the_numbers_on_the_digital_scale_dip_down/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/Prematurecelebration/comments/9c080m/goddamn_i_said_wait_for_it/?st=JLJEFRJ2&sh=d9e9b9e1
[Discussion] Did anyone loss weight going off birth control?
/u/blesseday
Created: Sat Sep 1 06:23:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c2nrt/did_anyone_loss_weight_going_off_birth_control/
---
Iām getting my Mirena removed next week in an attempt to fix my hormonal acne, wondering if anyone has lost/gained weight after stopping birth control? I have been on some form of birth control for 10 years straight now and Iām wondering what life is like without it š
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 01, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 1 06:12:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c2log/daily_food_diary_september_01_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 01, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! September 01, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 1 06:11:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c2lhn/stupid_questions_saturday_september_01_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for September 01, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Gotta eat "normal" this weekend.
/u/Hairless_Human [6' | CW 145 | BMI 18.87 | WL -135 |M 21]
Created: Sat Sep 1 05:50:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c2hkc/gotta_eat_normal_this_weekend/
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Spending the weekend at my moms and she has no idea about my ED (I see her maybe 1 time a year). I have spent the last 2 months on just naked juice and physilum husk. Just had a sausage egg and biscuit mcmuffin and it was extremely hard to eat but I managed. Gonna try and not eat anything else today. Thankfully food doesnt tempt me to binge let alone feel hungry. Just eat and done. Another thing is I can't even weigh myself cause she don't have a scale. Hopefully I poop this sucker out quick.
[Rant/Rave] Good god, y'all. Knorr spring veg soup (72 calories)
/u/Judo_Noob_PTX [5'1" | CW: 126 | BMI: 23.8 | WL: 24 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 05:31:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c2e35/good_god_yall_knorr_spring_veg_soup_72_calories/
---
https://i.redd.it/me9v5adq4mj11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Guys holy fuck I am a disaster, tifu
/u/alonlioak
Created: Sat Sep 1 04:34:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c24g0/guys_holy_fuck_i_am_a_disaster_tifu/
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Oh my god I canāt believe this is happening.
I stopped going to piano lessons this year and my mum bought a pie for my piano teacher as a present without asking if I wanted to actually give her something bc my phone doesnāt accept her messages for some reason.
I sound like a child now, Iām 17.
SO I told her yday, no Mum I donāt want to give the teacher (Iāll call her A)a present tomorrow, Iām not that close with her. I felt like it would be awkward. I figure if I donāt want to do this, I donāt have to. Iām pretty much an adult, and that pie wonāt get to her unless I bring it.
Cue half an hour to midnight last night and Iām already planning my September fasting, so naturally I wanted something to binge before midnight bc I have issues like that. There was nothing in the kitchen except this beautiful pecan pie. I see the pie and think yeah my family is going to end up eating this anyway. Itās happened before where my mum buys stuff for people and we somehow end up eating it, and sheās fine with that.
Now hereās the thing; I knew it would be obnoxious of me and I didnāt want the rest of my family to know before today when I presumed they would be cracking it open themselves. So I do it in secret. I carefully peel off the sellotape and open the box. I was lucky. It was a box I could open, and close without tearing anything. So I open it, flip it upside down, and start eating with a fork. Naturally, I take it quite far and binge on approx half of the inside of the pie.
I flip it around, and seal it up again with sellotape, return it to the bag, and cover it with the treats my mother also bought for Aās kids. I even got a bit of a high out of it, a well executed little crime. Now, when I say you wouldnāt be able to tell looking at this box, I mean it. You would only be able to tell by slicing open the thick pastry and finding...an enormous hole in the pie.
I wake up this morning and run downstairs to find...no bag with the goodies. I ring my mum, sheās at Aās workplace, about to give her the pie. I tell her no please donāt, thatās inappropriate, Iāll give it myself etc. before she hangs up the phone she says oh I see her now, Iām going over to give it to her, why are you so ungrateful and standoffish etc.
Holy shit. That poor woman is in for an interesting surprise there. My only consolation is that I never have to see her again. I could tell myself she might think itās some kind of production error but in reality it looks like some kind of petty joke.
I know Iām a bratty, spoilt, raging bitch and I need to see this as a wake up call and stop being so incredibly selfish and gain a little bit of maturity and self control.
Aahhh when did I become this person. I should be using a throwaway but fuck it Iāll delete this in a while
[Rant/Rave] PFFFT WOW
/u/acrsita [Height 5'7| CW 47kg | BMI 16.5| Weight Lost ??| Gender ??]
Created: Sat Sep 1 04:26:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c231m/pffft_wow/
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itās 11:23am on the first day of no binge september.
but guess whoās already eaten around 4000 cals and is showing no signs of stopping!
i was finally happy today cause my leggings were super baggy on me, but here i am filling them up again. what a fucking miserable existence. if this doesnāt purge good iām fucking ending it tonight.
[Goal] Hit my GW1 :o
/u/Linnaliis
Created: Sat Sep 1 03:58:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c1y6g/hit_my_gw1_o/
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Like whoah. This happened two days ago already, but I didn't quite believe it then because I barely ate the day before so I put it on the "water weight account" when my scales showed 65,0 kilogrammes. The day after (yesterday) it was at 65,6 again, which is still less than I would have thought since I haven't even been on 65,X this year at all.
...And today I am back at 65,0 :ooo So surreal. Maybe this keto thing is actually working. I am having a lot of weird symptoms tho, and going to a party tonight, so probably won't stay here. Going to try to stay with vodka and diet coke for the drinking part, though.
Backhanded compliment ruined my day
/u/guesstimate217
Created: Sat Sep 1 03:02:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c1oz1/backhanded_compliment_ruined_my_day/
---
Yesterday someone said to me āyou have lost so much weight, you look like everyone else nowā.
Wow thanks. Good to know I was so repulsive before. Urgh.
[Discussion] Is anyone else a massive hypocrite?
/u/BroItsJesus [5'4 | CW ? | GW 100 | 18F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 03:01:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c1oud/is_anyone_else_a_massive_hypocrite/
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I hate myself for being fat. I think I deserve less, deserve bad things etc. because of my weight
Other fat people? Don't care. You do you, that dress looks great, have that piece of cake, whatever
The self hate is too real
[Other] Wasnāt a ābadā binge, but still...
/u/blood-n-caffiene
Created: Sat Sep 1 02:52:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c1nef/wasnt_a_bad_binge_but_still/
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Celery, broccoli, vegan cheese, string cheese, sriracha and ranch. Ugh, still:/
[Discussion] what are your dumbest rules when it comes to food?
/u/twa1238
Created: Sat Sep 1 02:37:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c1l51/what_are_your_dumbest_rules_when_it_comes_to_food/
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What rules do you follow that you know make no sense but you canāt shake them off?
Iāll start:
I have to force myself to ever eat anything over 350 calories at once. Omad is Hard for me because I canāt convince myself to eat one meal with around 500 calories. Iād rather eat something with 300 calories, wait a little, eat something like that again. Even though thatās often more calorie dense then just eating once a day.
I cannot drink my calories, which is why liquid diets and (veggie) juice fasts arenāt possible. I completely freak out when I donāt have to chew and my body still absorbs calories.
Curious to hear about your random rules!
Drunken purge
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Sat Sep 1 02:24:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c1j25/drunken_purge/
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I told myself I wasn't going to do it , but I got drunk last night and took the opportunity of feeling queezy to have a full on purge session. I hate myself.
But at the same time it feels so good to do it again. I feel like I want to fully dive in. Indulge in it. There is something addictive about the exhausted empty feeling.
[Discussion] DAE panic when food plans change?
/u/rikococoriko
Created: Sat Sep 1 01:54:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c1e3o/dae_panic_when_food_plans_change/
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So Iāve been solidly eating well under my caloric deficit for a few weeks without any slip ups, binges, and have been exercising regularly. Well, today went pretty much the same plus I burned over 1000 calories jumping rope, walking, and doing body work outs. By early evening Iād usually have a few snacks and then make a small ~400-500 cal dinner. However, mid-day my friends popped in to hang out and all of that went out of the window as we were talking for a while and I forgot to curb my appetite so by nighttime Iām STARVING and they suggest ordering Chinese take away. At this point Iām screaming internally but I wonāt let them know that bc theyāre very body-positive and aware that Iāve struggled with disordered eating in the past, so would be suspicious of me suddenly eating dramatically less or not ordering anything. So I pick something that seemed healthy (but not like too healthy? lmfao)
We ate. They left. The meal was estimated about 1100 calories. Now Iām like tossing and turning thinking that i binged even tho like *technically* still under my calorie goal for the day.
So, my question is: does any one else panic when plans related to food change suddenly? And like, what do you do to cope with those feelings? Like, itās not normal for me to have an internal melt down over an otherwise positive experience with people I love lol
This sums up my life pretty well
/u/sadgab_ [5'8.5 | CW:120| GW: 114 | 19]
Created: Sat Sep 1 01:49:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c1da3/this_sums_up_my_life_pretty_well/
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https://i.redd.it/ve4vq6h81lj11.jpg
[Discussion] Sorry if this is controversial but does anyone else starve for love?
/u/eighttorches [5'2 | 15 from goal | F]
Created: Sat Sep 1 01:24:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c199i/sorry_if_this_is_controversial_but_does_anyone/
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My mind tells me that if i eat ill be unattractive and if im unattractive the few people i have left wont love me or care for me and thats all i want. I tell myself every bite i take i love my boyfriend a little less. I hate thinking this way so much but im going to admit it. I starve so i will be more attractive so i can be loved. Eds are so sick.
[Goal] same weight as I was when I began recovering!
/u/pringlesbutthole [6ā0|CW:117.5|BMI:15.9(!!!)|20]
Created: Sat Sep 1 00:05:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c0vdu/same_weight_as_i_was_when_i_began_recovering/
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kinda sorta lol. I was 117.5 when I realized, oh fuck I should get better. I stopped purging but kept restricting and went down to 112.9 (I fucking wish). Then I went up to 125 real quick. But now Iām back at 117.5! The lowest Iāve been in the past 6 months was 116.2, but usually around then I end up fucking up and go back up to 120 (which is usually what I maintain) bc Iām like, fuck it Iām hungry and want chinese food.
But Iām not giving in this time. Iām trying out 20/4 IT, which isnāt that hard bc all I have to do is cut out 1 mid-day granola bar and stop drinking high cal energy drinks and sodas. I have been eating a lot of mints and chewing gum tho which I know isnāt technically IF but it comes out to around only 25-35 calories, which isnāt a biggie to me. I havenāt eaten in about 22 hours now, might just say fuck it and go on for a 36-48 hr liquid fast.
idk! Iām pretty excited rn. I know I shouldnāt be bc I was kind of trying to recover lol and I know this isnāt healthy. But maaaan if I donāt want to reach my UGW. 5 pounds to go!!!
Mother-in-lawās birthday tomorrow. Ugh.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone [Too Short | Too Fat | Too Old | Duderino]
Created: Fri Aug 31 23:45:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c0rqd/motherinlaws_birthday_tomorrow_ugh/
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I donāt want to eat cake and ice cream tomorrow, but it will be weird if I donāt. Then my parents are celebrating Labor Day with pizza and diabetes-inducing treats.
Why. Why the hell couldnāt I be a normal person who didnāt give a shit about the food I eat.
[Rant/Rave] why the fuck am i so triggered rn
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 148 | lw: 102 | ugw: 98 | 18F | š: starvingprincess]
Created: Fri Aug 31 23:30:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c0p5e/why_the_fuck_am_i_so_triggered_rn/
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i posted in a selfie thread in r/teenagers (used a throwaway bc i donāt want my little brother to find my real account) and it was one i felt really, really good about. then literally no one paid any attention to it. and this sounds really shallow and mean, but people i think iām much more attractive than (iām really sort of vain tbh) got lots of attention. i guess it turns out iām much uglier than i think i am. itās because iām fat as fuck tho tbh. so i guess itās a good thing that the dining hall at my university is closed on saturdays bc i canāt eat tomorrow then. i hate that this is so triggering, but honestly i really live for attention and it kind of sickens me how validated i get just by one person calling me pretty. but i have literally no reason to be vain. iām fat and ugly and i shouldnāt expect people to pay attention to me until iām skinny again.
What do you do after purging
/u/guava_pastille [5'8" | CW 157 | GW 120 | BMI 24 | Lost 47.2 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 31 23:16:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c0mg3/what_do_you_do_after_purging/
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Iāve heard that itās not good to brush your teeth immediately. What can I do to protect my teeth from damage? Any other tips after a purge? I normally rinse with and drink water or electrolyte... anything else?
Hell yeah Friday night š š Hate my life rn
[Other] How many calories do you think this has in it? Iām think no more then 250 but also my mind like no it more and I canāt decide how much it is
/u/inxthewolf1
Created: Fri Aug 31 22:38:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c0f0w/how_many_calories_do_you_think_this_has_in_it_im/
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https://i.redd.it/4uatkm763kj11.jpg
[Goal] Binge Free September
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Fri Aug 31 22:36:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c0egy/binge_free_september/
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Anyone care to join me? (Hope a post like this hasnāt already been made) I plan on losing 10-15 pounds this month and restricting low all month no slip-ups. No excuses. I will reach my goals. Tired of being controlled by food like a fat animal
Does anyone else have anxiety with eating out, etc. ?
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Fri Aug 31 22:15:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c0a6a/does_anyone_else_have_anxiety_with_eating_out_etc/
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Does anyone else have a difficult time with weekends, holidays, family get togethers, your friends/family/partner asking you out to dinner and so forth?
Does anyone else have anxiety over that? Because jesuschrist, I do.
I canāt stand not being able to count my calories and have some kind of accuracy about my food when weāre eating out almost every night or eating at home and them cooking for me, etc.
I just canāt.
I hate knowing that when these days come, I know my getting closer to my goal weight gets pushed back because I always eat too much.
Just let me lose this goddamn weight and get to my goal weight and maybe weāll talk about eating out or me eating your cookies.
But for now, please just let me do me. Please. (Even though I know that wonāt/canāt happen and I just have to deal with it.)
[Rant/Rave] Im so gddmn lonely
/u/redhotjillypepper
Created: Fri Aug 31 22:09:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c08x8/im_so_gddmn_lonely/
---
Its my first weekend of my junior year of college and I mve been relapsing for over a year now. Ive had a fixation on being thin so I could go out to parties with my flat stomach and my tight outfit. I never got invited to parties in high school because everyone thought I was āweirdā and probably also because I wasnāt particularly boner-inducing.
Anyways now im here and all of my friends from the past two years are gone. All moved away. Im thin and I feel beautiful but I have nowhere to go, nothing to do, and no one to be with. Even my roommate is out of town. I tried going to the school sponsored dance party to make friends but I lost my ID on the way and couldnāt get in. Thank god im 21 and can drink the sadness away but I just want to go out and be drunk and beautiful with people who know and love me but no one knows me and im lost and alone. All I have is my ED and at least that can never just move away and leave me.
[Rant/Rave] My mother is starting to notice
/u/vandxm
Created: Fri Aug 31 21:47:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c044b/my_mother_is_starting_to_notice/
---
I've been eating very little amount of calories in the past 2 months and I've lost around 7 kilos. My mom told me today that I'm starting to look sick (I'm 168cm and weight 53kg). I'm not even close to my goal weight yet and she is already complaining and I don't know what to do because if I keep losing weight she is probably going to make me get help or something and I really don't want to. Any advice on what to say to her? :(
Eating in 10-hour window can override disease-causing genetic defects, nurture health - Salk scientists discover that periods of fasting can protect against obesity and diabetes, in a new study in mice published in Cell Metabolism.
/u/DiscombobulatedAnus
Created: Fri Aug 31 21:46:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c03wz/eating_in_10hour_window_can_override/
---
https://www.salk.edu/news-release/eating-in-10-hour-window-can-override-disease-causing-genetic-defects-nurture-health/
[Discussion] Where do you first lose weight/what is the hardest place for you to lose weight?
/u/ihate-chicken
Created: Fri Aug 31 21:36:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9c01qb/where_do_you_first_lose_weightwhat_is_the_hardest/
---
I feel like this differs for everyone and itās so weird/interesting to me
For me I first lose weight around my chest and boobs (no boobs! Wooohooo...)
Last place would probably be legs which is frustrating
[Discussion] Is anyone else scared of recovery or even just gaining...Incase others they know start to diet and lose? My biggest fear that I canāt shake.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Fri Aug 31 21:20:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bzybp/is_anyone_else_scared_of_recovery_or_even_just/
---
Sometimes I truly think āfuck it, is this really my life, I need to get it together.ā This will last for 2 days lolol. As a logical adult I know my ED is wrong and really bad. My anemia is out of control as of my blood work results today......fuck itās not good. But as myself my ED is this bittersweet sense of self. My main fear of ever recovering is seeing people so tiny, as tiny as I could have been and not feeling beautiful. Also Iām scared of others.... friends, family, coworkers losing weight...itās like I always want to be good at it and this petrifies me. Also if someone else I know develops an ED I will feel 1. Completely devastated....and 2. I feel that is my thing and how can I cope. Random, idk...I feel really bad and this thought has been on my mind so much. Itās my roadblock, my wall, to never get better.
[Rant/Rave] Just paranoid talking
/u/Scarab-Beetle
Created: Fri Aug 31 21:03:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bzugn/just_paranoid_talking/
---
I eat 1,200 calories because I canāt be as disordered in my eating at home. At college I eat much less.
Now Iāve been at this 1,200 for awhile and despite it being below my BMR i feel like Iām gaining weight and it doesnāt really make sense.
1,200 is the bare minimum, why would I be gaining weight. I just hate struggling with this shit.
just found out my scale is wrong!
/u/hhhhh4
Created: Fri Aug 31 20:49:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bzrj9/just_found_out_my_scale_is_wrong/
---
itās been showing my weight as about 10 pounds less than i actually weigh. iām devastated. guess i need to work harder at losing weight now. i thought i was finally getting skinny.
[Other] making the most out of my long fast
/u/xlaaane
Created: Fri Aug 31 20:36:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bzon2/making_the_most_out_of_my_long_fast/
---
because of circumstances that are too complicated to get in to, i canāt grocery shop until the 12th so i decided it would just be easiest to fast until then. today i had my best friend over and we just smoked tons of weed. of course, she got super hungry then she suggested we take a pic of her stomach before and after munching on a ton of the goods. of course i was on board. extremely on board. i smoked some cigs to tame my appetite and enjoyed watching her inhale some funyuns, chick fil a, and sāmores which we made with a lighter. she bloated up like a balloon and passed out half an hour after. we were both super content. it was awesome.
[Other] Started an exercise plan as a way to get the most out of the last few months of 2018
/u/BlurJAMD [5'4" | CW: 140lbs | GW: 110lbs | NB]
Created: Fri Aug 31 20:26:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bzmje/started_an_exercise_plan_as_a_way_to_get_the_most/
---
It's one of those cheesy '30 day plan' apps cus I'm too stupid to come up with my own :') HERE'S HOPING IT WORKS
This in combination with restricting more, I should hopefully start losing again!!
[Rant/Rave] Told my parents and it did not go well.
/u/angryandawkward
Created: Fri Aug 31 20:02:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bzhbc/told_my_parents_and_it_did_not_go_well/
---
Hi guys, this is my first time posting after months of lurking here.
So last week I decided to consult a psychiatrist, who suggested therapy. Since I live with my parents, I decided to tell them about my ed, thinking that they could maybe help with recovery. Big mistake. They were not supportive at all.
When I told them, my mom started asking herself "why she had so many problems and what did she do to deserve this", they were not taking me seriously and were laughing, telling me to just eat less/more. Then they told me that the psychiatrist was just trying to get my money and that therapy was too expensive. Oh, and when I was explaining my symptoms and said that since I couldn't make myself vomit, I c/s instead, my dad just told me to stick a finger in my throat. Great.
Anyway, I feel so defeated right now. It's been a few days and I've been so depressed. We haven't talked about it again (not like I want to). I know they reacted like that because they don't understand what an eating disorder is, but it still hurts. This totally killed my will to recover. I will not call the psychiatrist to start therapy, I feel so ashamed. I know my parents don't think it's a big deal since I'm at a ""normal bmi"", but they don't know how distressed I am because of my disorder. Even though I'll pay for treatment (the majority of which will be reimbursed), I feel like, for them, I'm not even worth the effort nor the money.
Sorry for the long rant haha
[Rant/Rave] I just found out that Iām actually three inches shorter than I thought I was
/u/jewishtemptress
Created: Fri Aug 31 19:31:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bzal2/i_just_found_out_that_im_actually_three_inches/
---
Holy fuck, Iām a dumbass. I thought I was 5ā8ā for the longest time thanks to the added height on my sneakers. I recently got a tape measure and decided to measure my height again ā turns out that Iām actually 5ā5ā even. My UGW was 115, but now 115 is still considered āhealthyā for my new height. The only upside is that I can go even lower in terms of weight.
Students of proED, what do you study? Has the particular environment or program affected your mental health?
/u/daeboo [5ft1šø96lbsšø19Fšø]
Created: Fri Aug 31 19:24:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bz8xd/students_of_proed_what_do_you_study_has_the/
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I saw the earlier thread on what the redditors around these parts do for a living and got curious about those of us who are in school.
what am i not getting when it comes to the obsession with popcorn on here?
/u/Paisleybabe
Created: Fri Aug 31 19:18:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bz7nu/what_am_i_not_getting_when_it_comes_to_the/
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I checked out pretty much all the boxes at my local grocer and for one bag its like at least >460 calories even the light ones. And tbh if I'm eating popcorn I don't want them to be naked, I want there to be at least some butter. I ended up getting regular butter by this organic brand because ya'll made me crave it. But like I wasn't expecting them to be so high in calorie. Do you guys eat them as a meal or like what am I not getting?
on fasting days all I can seem to do is doodle & paint food *sigh* enjoy my zero calorie bento box! š
/u/chubbyshrimpo
Created: Fri Aug 31 19:06:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bz4r6/on_fasting_days_all_i_can_seem_to_do_is_doodle/
---
https://i.redd.it/lmioy3f81jj11.jpg
Sister who I confided in about my ED told family members...and now I am incredibly hurt and feel betrayed. Trust feels broken, advice?
/u/hardlyyjewish
Created: Fri Aug 31 18:59:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bz385/sister_who_i_confided_in_about_my_ed_told_family/
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Not sure exactly if this is the right sub for this. BUT.
Title pretty much says the main gist of it. But I had struggled (still sometimes do) with bulimia and restriction for years. I decided to get healthy, eat right, work out, and started the path towards recovery. It is still very difficult some days but I have overcome those patterns for the most part.
I had confided in my sister about it when it was at itās worse over a year ago. And I had a sneaking suspicion she told our father but I wasnāt sure.
Not until a few weeks ago when my dad hinted it and when I told him to just say what she said, what he was hinting at but he refused and changed the subject.
Thereās been a few situations like this in the past and I donāt know...I feel beyond betrayed. This is something I donāt tell a lot of people because itās so embarrassing. And if I wanted someone to know I would tell them.
Am I wrong for being so hurt and upset?
I appreciate the advice /u/
Sister who I confused in a year ago about my struggles with Mia, told others in our family
/u/hardlyyjewish
Created: Fri Aug 31 18:44:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9byzox/sister_who_i_confused_in_a_year_ago_about_my/
---
Not sure exactly if this is the right sub for this. BUT.
Title pretty much says the main gist of it. But I had struggled (still sometimes do) with bulimia and restriction for years. I decided to get healthy, eat right, work out, and started the path towards recovery. It is still very difficult some days but I have overcome those patterns for the most part.
I had confided in my sister about it when it was at itās worse over a year ago. And I had a sneaking suspicion she told our father but I wasnāt sure.
Not until a few weeks ago when my dad hinted it and when I told him to just say what she said, what he was hinting at he refused and changed the subject. Or simply says āwell we know what Iām talking aboutā (which is another situation entirely that he wonāt just say it/talk about it)
Thereās been a few situations like this in the past and I donāt know...I feel beyond betrayed. This is something I donāt tell a lot of people because itās so embarrassing. And if I wanted someone to know I would tell them.
Am I wrong for being so hurt and upset?
I appreciate the advice
[Rant/Rave] so... iām big boned?
/u/planetskinny
Created: Fri Aug 31 18:33:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9byx80/so_im_big_boned/
---
so apparently iām ābig bonedā and i feel like my mom is onto me. i let it slip that i donāt get hungry because she put in a MONTHāS worth of lunch money into my school account. i wanted her to give me cash so i could keep it. fucked up, right? anyway, i lowkey hate myself because i canāt change being big boned.
so my ugw is 115 lbs; keep this in mind. my mom asked me two thing while having a conversation with her: āare you restricting what you eat?ā and āwhatās your goal weight?ā i said, āno, iām not restricting what i eat. iām just seeing what goes into my body.ā and āmy goal weight is 130 lbs.ā (both were lies, of course.)
she said when she was in high school her lowest weight was 140 lbs and she wished she was that now. she told me the average american woman wears a size 14. i wear a size 9 pants/large or medium in tees and she thinks iām 177 lbs when in reality iām 168.2 lbs. (i weighed myself yesterday.)
she told me that an ideal weight for me would be 140 lbs or a little bit more. iām 168.2 lbs right now. itās a normal bmi but i really want to be 115 lbs. she said iād look like a cancer survivor who just got out of chemo if i was 130 lbs! are you kidding?
what do i do? iām having a crisis because i seriously want to be 115 lbs. itās a 20.4 bmi. should i lose weight until i like how my body looks? or should i try to recover again? (although iāll probably relapse like i am now...)
I always come back to my ED
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Fri Aug 31 18:21:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9byu9r/i_always_come_back_to_my_ed/
---
Lmao my title makes it seem like it ever leaves me. It doesnāt.
The past two weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions to say the least. Firstly my bf came home from a summer of long distance. Then exam results came out - I didnāt get what I expected and didnāt get into the university I really wanted. (Queue depression) Then I got a grade remarked and it went up! I did get into the university I really wanted! Then with his results my bf decided to go to a different country for uni (still U.K. where I live). Heās literally just left and I feel heartbroken.
So yah. Thatās a hell of a lot of emotions and during this time I had more on my plate to worry about than food (pardon the pun). Iāve been on the cusp of eating normally/binging for two weeks and I feel ugly and disgusting - but I just canāt stop. Gonna allow myself a few more days of eating and then Iām back on my restriction shit. This bitch isnāt gonna be fat in uni. The last time I weighed myself I was EUPHORIC bc I had restricted back to 111. Probably closer to 120 rn š Lol kill me but Iām still gonna eat far too much ramen tomorrow
gross
/u/httpram
Created: Fri Aug 31 18:07:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9byqvn/gross/
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I hate myself.
iām 15 and my head is 10 times smaller than my body, i cut my hair way too short, iām stupid and short and fat and all i want is to just lose weight and it isnt happening. I dont exercise and i eat around 1k cal a day on average and some days i only eat 800 and nothing is happening. I just want to be skinny and pretty like every other girl in my class but i canāt itās like i donāt deserve it my proportions are so disgusting and i look so stupid with all the extra weight on my arms and my stomach and my hips and my legs and i just never want to touch food again but i cant stop eating
[Help] embarrassing request for validation
/u/lucaaa7 [5ā8 | 128lb | 19.3 | -57lb | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 31 17:38:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9byjtv/embarrassing_request_for_validation/
---
my measurements are 84, 68, 88cm and iām 173cm (33, 26, 34in and 5ā8)
at this point i have no idea whatās normal or not... i know iām flat chested but like am i still pretty average?? is this small?? i feel like i still look really big but i know thatās probably just BDD
can someone who like has some sense let me know if iām big or small or what
[Other] Itās that time of the month and Iām currently stuffing my face with cucumber slices tin prevent a binge and it feels great let me tell you! Also I had to update my flair to a higher weight/BMI and strangely I donāt care as much as I thought I would.
/u/madeinny88 [5'8" | 125 | 19.0 | 30/F ]
Created: Fri Aug 31 17:22:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9byg3y/its_that_time_of_the_month_and_im_currently/
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It is so hard to not overeat this time of month...
So Iām just going to eat watermelon and cucumbers until there is no room in my stomach for anything else!
[Tip] Hot outside but you don't want to wear shorts?
/u/celinat0r [5'3 | CW: 107lb | GW: 99.9lb | 18F]
Created: Fri Aug 31 17:15:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9byegl/hot_outside_but_you_dont_want_to_wear_shorts/
---
Stop eating and you'll feel cold even in 85 degree weather :):
Help with supporting GF
/u/aidantheman18
Created: Fri Aug 31 16:38:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9by4kw/help_with_supporting_gf/
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GF is ednos. She struggles with binging and hating herself, and has been down the bulimia / exercise bulimia / Ana / etc. road for many years before we were together. In actuality she is a sexy beautiful goddess and I love her. I tell her that as often as I can, try to offer what supporting words I think of, and try to avoid saying anything she could misconstrue or could trigger the mental illness. For the most part I think she is doing great, she has told me she is miles healthier being with me. But she still has really bad body days where she just hates how she looks, and I've found that these days are very precarious in terms of what I say to her; one accidentally triggering thing can send her further into the spiral. I'm still not really sure what I should / shouldn't say on these days despite my hours of researching EDs. So I'm here to ask y'all some questions. Also please comment if my usual responses are not good.
* What are some topics / things that I should avoid saying or bringing up at all costs? What do I say if that topic comes up from an outside source?
* How do I respond when she lets slip an unhealthy ED thought? E.g. she says something like "I ate so much last night and now I want to die / look bloated / etc". What's the best response that enforces healthy thoughts but doesn't seem pushy or unrealistic?
* She tells me how she's going to get thinner to look better for me. I respond that that doesn't matter, she's sexy and beautiful how she is and besides I love her for who she is not what she looks like. She'll usually take the compliments, but if it's a bad day she might say "well I would look better if I were skinnier and you can't dispute that" or something along those lines. What is best response? Disputing that seems like a cop out and does not work usually.
* What can I say when she compares herself to other girls? Doesnt happen often, but it has happened where she might see a really skinny girl and comment on how much better she'd look if she had her body or something. This one is a real minefield in terms of my response, again I usually say the "I love you not her, I love you for who you are, you're beautiful how you are, arbitrary standards of beauty etc." But in this scenario it often seems like anything I say makes it worse, and not responding at all is NOT A GOOD IDEA
* What can I do if she is actively binging? Usually I just eat with her and/or try to draw attention away from body stuff / sex / food, and pretend like I don't notice. Any better techniques to promote healthier eating, or help her not binge or not hate herself for binging? Cause usually binging just makes her hate herself a ton and I want to help mitigate that. I know I should never point it out, right?
* Related to this she sometimes tells me to remind her to not eat if she wants to, like before we smoke or something. I usually don't because she should be able to eat whenever she wants to and not be held captive by her negative thoughts. However if I don't she'll hate herself for binging, but if I do I'm actively telling her not to eat which is bad. ????
* Conversely, what to do if she is actively fasting? Much harder to recognize than binging obviously, but if I notice she hasn't eaten an entire day or two that makes me worry. Should I tell her to eat? That can be slippery but I feel it's the right thing to do.
* What do I say when she says she's lost weight? I don't want to reinforce thoughts like skinnier = better because that can make it worse... But complimenting is good?? Help???
In case this paints her in a negative light I want to emphasize these kinds of things only happen on bad days which aren't very often, for the most part our relationship is super healthy and happy and we both love each other very much. We're just moving in together soon and I want to be prepared to help her love herself. Thanks.
[Help] I'm so scared right now. Please help me. Can't stop dissociating.
/u/MissNietzsche
Created: Fri Aug 31 16:33:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9by3gy/im_so_scared_right_now_please_help_me_cant_stop/
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For a full month I was doing very well and was almost completely recovered. Then, all of a sudden, the past two weeks, I started bingeing insane amounts every single day, with extreme negative thoughts to accompany them afterwards.
Last night, I binged, and for the first time in a long time, I was happy. I finally thought I hit the end of my binge cycle.
Today, I woke up, took my normal EC stack, started dissociating a bit, so I binged on like 800 Cals, and now I'm dissociating like crazy. I feel high. My entire body and mind are floaty. I can't think straight. I'm usually able to force myself to pull myself together, but no matter how hard I try, I can't pull myself back to earth.
Please help me. I'm really scared. It's never been this bad in my life. I genuinely feel like I had some weed (haven't had it in over a year). I don't know what to do. Help.
[Other] Last minute dinner with the family.
/u/ohdarlingyourefucked
Created: Fri Aug 31 16:30:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9by2ln/last_minute_dinner_with_the_family/
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Ugh, I was doing SO good today. Then we got invited out to eat. Without thinking I said yes. Iām at about 500 cals so far today..so Iām thinking maybe I will just get a salad. The old me would get boneless wings or something unhealthy but thereās not nutritional information on this menu and I feel like salad is the healthiest option. š£
Biggest mood
/u/prettypleaser
Created: Fri Aug 31 16:05:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bxvwi/biggest_mood/
---
https://i.redd.it/fqkmtjbm2hj11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Why do people get mad at me for throwing up??
/u/remiisme
Created: Fri Aug 31 16:02:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bxv0o/why_do_people_get_mad_at_me_for_throwing_up/
---
Today is my boyfriends first day back home from a long work trip away, so I tried to be normal and happy and we went out to visit his family who live about an hour away, and I tried to eat like normal and not think about it, but on the drive home I got panicky and when we got home I had to throw everything up, and now heās not talking to me.
What do you want from me?? Like yeah, seriously, I know, I hate it too! Itās not my fault!!
š¢
[Discussion] What do y'all do for a living?
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | 105lbs | 19.11 | 30lbs | 23F]
Created: Fri Aug 31 15:42:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bxplz/what_do_yall_do_for_a_living/
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Just a curiosity question, but what do y'all do for a living? I'm a high school teacher, which makes it so hard for me to fast. I have to at least eat lunch or breakfast so I can focus on teaching and so my students don't hear my stomach growling. But I'm on my feet pretty much all day, running around, and I truly love my job and my students so there are positives and negatives!
I'm also in grad school, but that's a different beast LOL.
Refocusing after slipping for a bit:)
/u/amooni95
Created: Fri Aug 31 15:37:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bxo92/refocusing_after_slipping_for_a_bit/
---
https://i.redd.it/fi88aup30ij11.jpg
paranoid about college dining hall workers...
/u/fxuk
Created: Fri Aug 31 15:34:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bxng6/paranoid_about_college_dining_hall_workers/
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Ok so iām a frosh at a small college that uses ala carte dining style, so you get what you want and then you pay based on that, and like if its like an assortment you sometimes have you specify at the cash register (like what type of soup is in the container, vegan vs veg vs meat or something , etc). And iām becoming paranoid because there are only like 3 or so rotating workers and I swear they recognize me already, probably know me as the girl who only buys low cal ice cream, kombucha, diet soda, prepackaged frozen burritos, fruit, etc. And so now iām starting to buy food from the hot meal section just cuz and not actually eating it...ugh. anyone else have this issue?
I'm happy to have refocused :) I was slipping for a bit there
/u/amooni95
Created: Fri Aug 31 15:34:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bxndy/im_happy_to_have_refocused_i_was_slipping_for_a/
---
https://i.redd.it/uvc1b7ejzhj11.jpg
Kelp noodles?
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5" | CW:127 | GW:115 | lost -72 | 20M]
Created: Fri Aug 31 15:28:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bxlhl/kelp_noodles/
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I just bought some kelp noodles from Whole Foods because I am craving pasta but I'm afraid of pasta. Kelp noodles are somehow only 6 calories a serving??
​
Have any of you had these? Are they good? Any good recipes?
how does alcohol affect your appetite?
/u/relativeletter6 [161cm | 54.4kg | gw 50kg]
Created: Fri Aug 31 15:04:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bxevx/how_does_alcohol_affect_your_appetite/
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for me, when iām drunk, i donāt think about food at all. i might be like āi want some mcdonaldsā or some shit, but if actually presented with food i donāt have any interest in it
while tipsy iām the same as i always am, maybe slightly more prone to binging. but drunk? yeah, fuck food when iām drunk. i love being drunk because of this.
i also donāt get hungover so itās really just a win-win, tho i am more prone to binging the day after being drunk (usually just cuz i tend to eat less on days i drink tho, so itās a result of restriction not alcohol)
Surprise on the scale
/u/FreeHugsFromSenpai
Created: Fri Aug 31 14:55:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bxc42/surprise_on_the_scale/
---
Zipped into my local Sam's club today, and against my better judgement decided to hop onto the bench for the little health kiosk to check my weight. (I don't currently have a scale at home, because if I weighed myself everyday I'd probably never eat at all)
I was expecting something around 110+, due to my wish washy restricting. Well to my delight, I'm actually at 104!! I didn't believe it so I retested a few more times, sitting in different positions on the bench.
It may seem like a small milestone for some, but just knowing I'm below 110 is a big motivator that I'm moving towards my goals.
Iāve binged for 3 days in a row
/u/shonamairead [5'6 | CW 140lbs | GW1 - 120 | -20lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 31 14:50:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bxane/ive_binged_for_3_days_in_a_row/
---
And now I want to die. Thatās all
[Rant/Rave] OMAD is my only hope
/u/_Pulltab_ [5' 7| CW 165.4 | BMI 25.9 | -30.6 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 31 14:40:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bx7u1/omad_is_my_only_hope/
---
I have been doing IF/OMAD for a little over three months now which simultaneously allows me to restrict heavily and maintain ketosis. But Iāve noticed that over the past month or so, if for any reason I have to eat earlier in the day (meetings, plans with family/friends) that I am also guaranteed to binge. Today I had a protein bar because I was getting a tattoo and when I got home I just stood in the kitchen eating one thing after another. Itās like once the seal is popped, Iām fucked. And Iām so close to my next goal weight.
Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] Shortbread
/u/pelq [14 | Healthy | Almost recovered]
Created: Fri Aug 31 14:39:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bx7kq/shortbread/
---
So, yesterday I baked some shortbread, and it turned out amazing, but thats not the best part.
I ate what I made. I ate some of the batter while cooking, I didn't even think about calories while doing it. After it had baked I ate 3 more of my biscuits, on top of my daily allowance without thinking twice.
I wouldnt have been able to do this a year ago, everything just feels so much better. I realise this sub isnt really for me anymore, but at my worst you guys supported me (on a different account) and I've gotten so far.
I hardly think about food, nor stress about how much I'm eating anymore. I haven't looked at my weight in around 6 months, I havent counted my calories in 11, and I havent hated my body for 3 weeks.
I feel amazing, it's surreal.
Jeffree Star's fast metabolism?
/u/sugafreedreams [17 / M / 181cm š³ļøāš HW: 89 / CW: 56 š³ļøāš BMI 27.2 ā 17.1]
Created: Fri Aug 31 14:12:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bwzle/jeffree_stars_fast_metabolism/
---
I should start this post off by saying that I'm not accusing Jeffree of anything, he's denied having any sort of eating disorder, and I completely trust him with that. I just happen to also have an eagle eye for anything eating-related even with normal people, and a couple of things about his eating habits have struck out as interesting to me.
The first thing that sparked my interest was Shane's 5-part series documenting Jeffree's real daily life. In the first episode during the house tour Jeffree's fridge is opened on camera, showing that it contains nothing but approximately 10 thousand calories of ice-cream in it. Shane (who has struggled with bulimia for years) gives Jeffree a long suspicious stare after seeing all the ice-cream, after which Jeffree assures to him that he doesn't have an ED and just has a fast metabolism and can never gain weight:
[https://youtu.be/xUf2-sjGqQw?t=965](https://youtu.be/xUf2-sjGqQw?t=965)
Jeffree had extremely damaged and worn out teeth in his early 20's before getting crowns on all of them, and back in the MySpace era has had multiple photoshoots depicting sticking fingers down the throat and throwing up food:
[https://ugc.reveliststatic.com/gen/constrain/640/640/80/2017/02/22/15/c8/pr/phqqvh3qgo2qbwe.jpg](https://ugc.reveliststatic.com/gen/constrain/640/640/80/2017/02/22/15/c8/pr/phqqvh3qgo2qbwe.jpg)
[https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ea/a7/b8/eaa7b8e176f4d6fad6c5620d1e8cbe37.jpg](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ea/a7/b8/eaa7b8e176f4d6fad6c5620d1e8cbe37.jpg)
Then, despite having +10k calories of ice-cream in his fridge (half of which is pure sugar), he takes the top bun off a 300-calorie cheeseburger because he "doesn't need the unnecessary carbs that it has":
[https://youtu.be/7O93LsGyYRw?t=1021](https://youtu.be/7O93LsGyYRw?t=1021)
In his latest video about an esophagus-dilating procedure he mentions that he has no gag reflex, can't make himself throw up, and actually sticks a finger down his throat on camera to prove it (although I doubt anyone would gag from what he does here with one finger without movement, finger-fucking the throat on camera just wouldn't be appropriate):
[https://youtu.be/H6cFpbn0DNI?t=140](https://youtu.be/H6cFpbn0DNI?t=140)
After waking up from the esophagus-dilating procedure and still being groggy from the anesthetic used, he immediately starts talking about food and mentions how his boyfriend's ass wouldn't have a lot of calories in it. I find it interesting that someone who doesn't have to care about what or how much they eat would even think of calories in a context like that:
[https://youtu.be/H6cFpbn0DNI?t=1165](https://youtu.be/H6cFpbn0DNI?t=1165)
It's also worth noting that in Shane's first episode Jeffree mentioned that we were going to see him eat a lot of food during the series, but we ended up seeing him eat one Oreo cookie and a small 7-eleven slurpee. Maybe he just doesn't realize that he's not eating a lot and is the type of person to eat ice-cream one spoonful at a time, just like most people who claim to have a fast metabolism like him.
My BMI is in the teens now!!
/u/Hairless_Human [6' | CW 146 | BMI 19.8 | WL -134 |M 21]
Created: Fri Aug 31 13:52:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bwtr3/my_bmi_is_in_the_teens_now/
---
19.8 but still its in the teens. I use googles bmi thing to get my bmi. Idk how accurate it is but im to lazy to actually scroll down a little to find a more accurate one.
[Discussion] (Discussion) Effects of EC Stack
/u/weightliftingwaif [5'2.5" | 111.8lbs | 20.76| 2lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 31 13:44:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bwrd9/discussion_effects_of_ec_stack/
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So I just started my stack again. I was on Zyprexa for bipolar and it made me gain so much weight by effecting me in three different ways: increased hunger, loss of focus, and sluggish when trying to exercise. I wanted to wait until it was out of my system bc I know with seroquel it wasnāt as effective when I tried doing both at the same time. My question is this: DAE notice it has to kind of build up in their system for it to be totally effective? I feel like at first I can only high restrict (1200ish) calories/day, but that the longer Iām consistently on it the less hungry I get.
Venting
/u/rcherry72
Created: Fri Aug 31 13:41:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bwqem/venting/
---
So I donāt really post on here. I usually just lurk. Anyways Iām not diagnosed with an eating disorder but I have very disordered eating and mindset around food. I currently binge and purge at least once a day. Well I throw up once usually. I go all day without eating in the hopes that I can just not eat that day to cancel out the binges and to not puke. But I end up being weak, usually because I smoke weed and get hungry. So Iām just stuck in this cycle of starving, binging, purging. I gained over 100 lbs from a variety of factors ( birth control, Pcos, life changes). So like I didnāt get fat by eating or by choice. So Iām very frustrated with my body now. I donāt feel like myself. I donāt recognize my body in the mirror.
I used to weigh around 160lbs which is decently healthy for 5ā8ā. I had so many cute clothes and Iāve had to buy new clothes now :( I keep trying to wait to buy clothes that I actually want because I want to lose weight, but then I just wear sweats and t shorts and I look even more awful.
Iām just so down about gaining weight and everything is triggering me rn. I just want to die š¢š¢
[Rant/Rave] Co-workers eating what im craving FUUUUUUUU
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Fri Aug 31 13:10:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bwh6e/coworkers_eating_what_im_craving_fuuuuuuuu/
---
Me at 10:00AM: I want chicken nuggets.
ALL THREE CO-WORKERS: \*Gets chucken nuggets for lunch and eats at the desks surrounding me at the same time\*
​
Coke zero as always <3
Wish me luck
/u/PM_UR_PUPPY [5'7" | CW 133 | GW 120 | LW 118 ]
Created: Fri Aug 31 12:45:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bw9be/wish_me_luck/
---
I'm 24 hrs into my fast, aiming for 72 hrs / when I see a whoosh. Feeling chilly and hungry but otherwise ok.
I'm just so so so done with trying to be healthy when all that happens is that I overeat and gain. It's not necessarily healthier, it's still disordered because I still treat food as forbidden the only difference is that I let myself overeat. Either way I still have an unhealthy relationship with food and I'd rather be skinny.
[Rant/Rave] Iām fucking stupid.
/u/whereismaimind
Created: Fri Aug 31 12:41:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bw87v/im_fucking_stupid/
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I usually take my birth control at noon everyday. Today I took it as normal, then went out to eat. I got a huge burrito bowl with chips. I finished it at 2 and immediately decided to purge it without even thinking about the fact that I just took my birth control at noon. Now Iām just an anxious mess š©
Fasting buddies?
/u/PM_UR_PUPPY [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Fri Aug 31 12:39:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bw7dj/fasting_buddies/
---
[removed]
have any of you taken Seroquel?
/u/praduh [š„š° * 15.6, 5'5"]
Created: Fri Aug 31 12:10:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bvyh4/have_any_of_you_taken_seroquel/
---
today I was prescribed 25mg to take nightly for insomnia and my psychiatrist said a side effect is an increased appetite. just wondering if anyone here has taken it and experienced that? ugh. my worst nightmare. ā ļø I know I won't gain unless I actually eat more but I don't even wanna /feel/ like I have to eat more.
Shoutout to this community for being more supportive and less judgmental than any other place I've found on the internet
/u/DandelionsDandelions
Created: Fri Aug 31 12:05:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bvx2f/shoutout_to_this_community_for_being_more/
---
...or in real life. Every day I see others posting about struggling with their disordered eating, and I've seen nothing but love and support from this community and I just wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my rotten lil heart. I'm so grateful to have found a space where I can be honest about my thoughts and behaviors and never feel judged or "less worthy," and I never feel like I'll be rejected when I decide I'd like to focus on recovery. Despite the name, from everything I've seen r/proED is more pro-recovery than any other similar forum I've come across in the last 10 years of my disorder. Thank you all, ladies and gentlemen, for giving me a outlet where I can really be honest with others and with myself. :\~) I love you all.
[Discussion] DAES feel a strong urge to lick the spoon / eat the crumbs when youāre preparing food?
/u/chezpajama
Created: Fri Aug 31 12:00:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bvv9b/daes_feel_a_strong_urge_to_lick_the_spoon_eat_the/
---
This seems to happen when I restrict below 800.
Sometimes I just throw the spoon, knife, whatever in the sink. Other times I do it sneakily so my boyfriend doesnāt look at me like Iām a freak.
[Rant/Rave] I want to cry
/u/twa1238
Created: Fri Aug 31 11:51:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bvsp2/i_want_to_cry/
---
man I hate it. I hate my body I hate eating I hate food I hate hating food.
I hate how long it takes to lose weight. If I eat 645 calories a day Iāll reach my goal on September 20th says LoseIt but I know itās not true. I know weight loss is not linear blah blah blah and oh my tdee yeah yeah watch out your metabolism I know I know but it sucks. I eat next to nothing and keep gaining. I exercised today and drank enough water and ate 45gram of protein and didnāt use laxatives even though I really wanted to. I really tried to reach the calories I need to maintain but it felt so wrong and I was full and now I counted my budget and how much I need to cut out and looked it up on LoseIt and Iām angry at myself for not fasting today.
I hate myself for being in this again. I was over my ED for such a long time but then I stopped going to the gym and gained a little bit of weight which triggered me and I started binging again and I swear I told myself to just lose the weight in a healthy way and it was only a few kilos but noooOOoooO I couldnāt stop myself. I seriously thought I might just get back A LITTLE until I reach my goal weight but now I am so deep into this again. I feel fatter than ever, even though all my recently bought clothes are too big now.
I donāt know why my body hurts.it hurts as if I was over eating, you know when you get this pain in your lower stomach after binging? Why do I feel this now?!?!???!!!! I canāt eat anything, I want to throw up, I have to force myself to eat, it drives me crazy. I donāt WANT to eat and Iām not hungry itās not fair that I HAVE too when Iām fat anyway. On the IF sub people talk about not eating for WEEKS, just their bodies living off their fat, Iām so jealous and I donāt get it. How do they do that. How is that possible. My body acts like itās dying when I donāt eat for half a day, heart racing and bruising and getting sick and all.
Sorry this got so long. Iām just so sad because I feel so fat. lol. See, I said I FEEL fat, not I AM. Recovery, right.
Tl;dr: I hate everything today and also Iām fat
[Help] quiet exercises
/u/menswear98
Created: Fri Aug 31 11:49:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bvs23/quiet_exercises/
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i want to exercise every day but i donāt want everyone i live with to know iām doing this again. i have an exercise bike that i use but i donāt want them to know iām doing more than that because theyāll probably stop me altogether. i donāt know if this sounds stupid but yeah just wondering if anyone knows any easy, quiet exercises that i can do??
embarrassed about always measuring your food in cup measures?
/u/throwingaweight [šø5ā7ā | CW:129 | BMI:20 | GW:120šø]
Created: Fri Aug 31 11:28:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bvlm8/embarrassed_about_always_measuring_your_food_in/
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get cute cup measures!!! i got some really sweet copper ones from anthropologie, and i just am like, āoh itās just a really cute and easy way to have a tiny bowl for my 1/4 cup of blueberries i am allotted!!!ā
doesnāt quite work for stuff like cereal but it works wonders for snacks
i fucking ate myself and entire BMI point up. jesussss.
/u/QariatAlFingan
Created: Fri Aug 31 11:11:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bvg72/i_fucking_ate_myself_and_entire_bmi_point_up/
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Pre binge bmi 18.8
post binge bmi 19.8 HOLY CRAP.
probably cause i drank a lot of water (my tummy is still goig sploosh sploosh) but still damn thats some scary shit
How do you deal with rumors
/u/thinraindrop
Created: Fri Aug 31 10:57:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bvbpg/how_do_you_deal_with_rumors/
---
*boom boom boom rumor has it boom boom*
Fuck I hate myself
So recently a couple of people in my group of friends have been spreading rumors about finding lax in my backpack and me relapsing and stuff. It got to the point where even my sister heard about it, and I had to lie to her which is the worst feeling in the world.
How do you guys deal with confrontation and shit? Like, what would be a good default answer to have to make people stop talking about me?
Thanks k bye
Love this group: A small appreciation letter
/u/suranzuri
Created: Fri Aug 31 10:54:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bvarq/love_this_group_a_small_appreciation_letter/
---
So happy to have found this group and love that you're all so active. It's great to finally know that I'm not alone in this struggle and that there are people out ther who fully understand, are and have been in the same situation, and that we can all come here to laugh and cry together.
You know when you find a friend([s] group) and you just feel like the universe brought you all together? Like, you're always so excited to see them and be around them - that's how I feel with this sub.
Honestly, thank you all for being so kind to one another, for taking time to offer a shoulder or an ear, for offering advice or your opinion. I appreciate every single post on here and again, am so glad to have found you all. š
this reddit 'community chat' thing?
/u/whatsacal
Created: Fri Aug 31 10:48:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bv92b/this_reddit_community_chat_thing/
---
is that something this sub has?
[Rant/Rave] Holy shit I told my husband last night and it went okay! (Reposted to add flair)
/u/button_eyed_coraline [5'4" | 165 | 28.3 | -75 | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 31 10:48:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bv8yl/holy_shit_i_told_my_husband_last_night_and_it/
---
I got some great advice and support from fellow users here encouraging me to open up to my husband about my current relapse. I took a day or so to mull it over and decided to be brave and bring it up with him.
He got home early last night and we had a great evening! He helped with the babyās bath and bedtime routine, and then I made him dinner and we went in our hot tub. We live on property and our hot tub faces an empty field and hills, so we turn off all the lights and look at the stars and pretend weāre all alone. So peaceful. I felt really positive and that seemed like the best frame of mind for a serious conversation, so I brought it up gently.
I told him how my doctor was concerned about my dramatic and rapid weight loss, and that she had asked if I was eating enough or having issues with my eating. He joked that I should have said yes, and I went for it. I told him about the anxiety, how controlling my food helps to assuage my feelings of powerlessness, and how I feel very badly about my body right now. Apparently heād been suspecting this because Iām not as sneaky as I like to think I am. He had some really nice things to say, and didnāt freak out at all.
I made sure to let him know that I may be restricting, but that I intentionally do not restrict as heavily as I did 10 years ago because my number one priority is to be a good mom and that means having the energy and clarity of mind to care for my daughter all day. He said he wasnāt even worried about that because he knows how good of a mother I am. (Cue tears)
We came to the conclusion that he isnāt the Food Police, and that we will reassess once I reach a healthy BMI (about 22 more lbs, I need to update my flair). In the meantime, heās going to let me do whatās working for my anxiety because thatās keeping me from escalating my restrictions. As long as my bloodwork comes back okay from my doctor, he wonāt press the issue. Once I reach a healthy weight range, he wants to discuss me returning to Real Food (I am on 100% Soylent) and potentially seeing a therapist if we can find a good one. Iām anticipating that will be more dramatic because his idea of an ideal weight for me is way higher than mine, but at least I started the conversation.
Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to be honest with him. It was hard and scary, but ended up being just fine. I feel a lot less encumbered by my Big Secret.
[Help] Weight increase even though I'm below maintenance.
/u/edcody729
Created: Fri Aug 31 10:46:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bv8hf/weight_increase_even_though_im_below_maintenance/
---
I'm eating below maintenance but more than I've been eating, and the scale keeps going up. What gives?
Holy shit I told my husband last night and it went okay!
/u/button_eyed_coraline [5'4" | 165 | 28.3 | -75 | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 31 10:45:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bv7v2/holy_shit_i_told_my_husband_last_night_and_it/
---
I got some great advice and support from fellow users here encouraging me to open up to my husband about my current relapse. I took a day or so to mull it over and decided to be brave and bring it up with him.
He got home early last night and we had a great evening! He helped with the babyās bath and bedtime routine, and then I made him dinner and we went in our hot tub. We live on property and our hot tub faces an empty field and hills, so we turn off all the lights and look at the stars and pretend weāre all alone. So peaceful. I felt really positive and that seemed like the best frame of mind for a serious conversation, so I brought it up gently.
I told him how my doctor was concerned about my dramatic and rapid weight loss, and that she had asked if I was eating enough or having issues with my eating. He joked that I should have said yes, and I went for it. I told him about the anxiety, how controlling my food helps to assuage my feelings of powerlessness, and how I feel very badly about my body right now. Apparently heād been suspecting this because Iām not as sneaky as I like to think I am. He had some really nice things to say, and didnāt freak out at all.
I made sure to let him know that I may be restricting, but that I intentionally do not restrict as heavily as I did 10 years ago because my number one priority is to be a good mom and that means having the energy and clarity of mind to care for my daughter all day. He said he wasnāt even worried about that because he knows how good of a mother I am. (Cue tears)
We came to the conclusion that he isnāt the Food Police, and that we will reassess once I reach a healthy BMI (about 22 more lbs, I need to update my flair). In the meantime, heās going to let me do whatās working for my anxiety because thatās keeping me from escalating my restrictions. As long as my bloodwork comes back okay from my doctor, he wonāt press the issue. Once I reach a healthy weight range, he wants to discuss me returning to Real Food (I am on 100% Soylent) and potentially seeing a therapist if we can find a good one. Iām anticipating that will be more dramatic because his idea of an ideal weight for me is way higher than mine, but at least I started the conversation.
Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to be honest with him. It was hard and scary, but ended up being just fine. I feel a lot less encumbered by my Big Secret.
[Rant/Rave] Drunk binging
/u/gabebega
Created: Fri Aug 31 10:30:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bv3gb/drunk_binging/
---
Yesterday some colleagues noticed my weight loss āOMG you look so good so thinā. I felt happy. Then I went out, had a few drinks and was feeling super happy. Until I started flirting with this guy and I didnāt know if it was mutual pr not until he kissed another girl in front of me. I felt pretty stupid, my ED screaming: YOU HAVE TO GET VERY SKINNY VERY SKINNY SO PEOPLE WILL LIKE YOU ITāS NOT ENOUGH!!!!!
Back at home I binged. Delivery. Woke up sick, the boxes of food on the bed. The cherry on the cake: the cleaning lady came today and when she saw me she said: āOMG YOU ARE SO THIN I WANNE BE LIKE YOU ONE DAYā
AAAAAAAAAA SHIT I AM A MESS
[Help] Is anyone here on medication?
/u/ohdarlingyourefucked
Created: Fri Aug 31 10:30:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bv3e9/is_anyone_here_on_medication/
---
I take Propanolol and Hydroxyzine for my anxiety. A few months ago I was also prescribed Prozac and Abilify to help with other things. Up until this point I have refused to take them. But now both my psych and therapist have told me if I donāt take them they will be no longer willing to work with me which honestly sucks. The psych I could care less about..but Iāve been seeing this therapist for months now and I really hate the idea of having to start over with someone else. Iām so stressed and sad about this. I donāt know what to do. I feel like Iām being backed into a corner with no choice but to take my meds. I just so scared of some of the side effects which I did explain to them but they just told me āthat wonāt happen to you, take the meds.ā Which just made me even more frustrated. I know this isnāt ED related really but I need advice. š
which body fat calculator do you use?
/u/manfromanother-place [5ā1.75 | CW:102.5 | GW: 98 | 19.62]
Created: Fri Aug 31 10:28:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bv2yp/which_body_fat_calculator_do_you_use/
---
one i used said 24%, while the other said 17.5% D:
[Other] I love this sub
/u/glitterfitte
Created: Fri Aug 31 10:18:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9buzw9/i_love_this_sub/
---
I have a lot of thoughts I need to get out of my brain today. So, dear diary, here's a little bit of background story. I've been recovered for about a year and a half after an ED stint that lasted for two years and that put me at 105-110 at my lowest. Today I'm just over 150 pounds.
I've been wanting to lose a lot of the weight I put on but I only recently took the plunge and started seriously cutting calories, writing a food/weight diary, fasting and whatnot. I feel kind of weird being in this sub though, because I still eat so much more than most people in this sub and my goal weight is pretty much at a normal BMI. I know that might change pretty fast but for now I actually feel good about what I'm doing and for once I don't feel like I want to fully destroy myself.
I guess what I eventually wanted to say that I want to thank you guys for being so supportive to everyone regardless of where they're at in their journey or what they're doing. For me this sub isn't as much about fueling my ED as it is just having a place to share both positive and negative thoughts with people who know what I've been through, because I feel too scared to air my thoughts in other subs. I thought this sub would be a pretty toxic place to spend my time at, but it turned out to be something completely different. Maybe someday I'll be able to completely rid myself of any disordered behaviour and I'll know this sub helped a lot.
Fuckkkkk
/u/blmatsuu [5'2 | 104 | 19.0 | -51 | FTM]
Created: Fri Aug 31 10:03:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9buv9r/fuckkkkk/
---
Went to therapy and they weighed me as usual and apparently Iāve lost 2kg since they saw me last week and honestly Iām fucking hyped about the weight loss but my therapist is saying she wonāt let me get any lower and she doesnāt want me to end up being sectioned or getting āreally sickā?? Like sheās sweet and helps a lot tbh but h o w the fuck am I going to die when Iām not even underweight yet, I think Iām gonna have to start water loading and stuff,, and it sucks because my own scales are shit and it was always cool being able to see my actual weight on proper scales but looks like I canāt do that anymore or sheāll section me š¤Ŗ
Coping with the fear of gaining weight
/u/eva1588
Created: Fri Aug 31 09:55:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9buswv/coping_with_the_fear_of_gaining_weight/
---
I have terrible coping skills when it comes to my fear of weight gain. I am constantly nervous that I am gaining weight or not loosing it. Then I will try to exercise, sometimes too much and then it increases my appetite :( How do you guys cope with this fear, if you have it?
Why are you trying to loose?
/u/eva1588
Created: Fri Aug 31 09:50:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bur6z/why_are_you_trying_to_loose/
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For me I want to loose weight to feel younger, have more energy and be happier. I want to have a NO stomach fat and feel long and lean. Im not sure what number that is on the scale but i know I got to loose at least 5-7 more pounds. What are your goals and why?
DAE feel like they'll never reach their goal weight?
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | CW 120 | GW 115 | UGW 110/115 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 31 09:46:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9buq0i/dae_feel_like_theyll_never_reach_their_goal_weight/
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My scale has been stuck at 120 and I need to lose 10 pounds. I feel like it'll never happen and it makes me feel like I'll be trapped in this terrible body forever.
[Discussion] What are your experiences with recovery? (If any)
/u/kpatable [5'9.5" | 134 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 31 09:39:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bunw6/what_are_your_experiences_with_recovery_if_any/
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And I'm asking everyone regardless of if you have AN, BN, BED, EDNOS, or whatever. And like, I want to get a discussion going about what recovery looks like for eating disorders other than AN, too. It would enlighten me, and I'm hoping it would enlighten others, too~
Personally, I have been doing what I can to recover from EDNOS for about 2ish years. I've been trying to build a better relationship with food, basically. I binge/overeat to feel comfort, and I restrict as a form of self-harm. It's been really difficult to find balance.
But yeah. Now y'all go c:
Binge eating (tw)
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Fri Aug 31 09:39:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bunpv/binge_eating_tw/
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It's been three years since the person who was my step father committed suicide. I told my boyfriend last night about the time my step father lay on my bed next to me and stroked my stomach and then put his down my pants. I want to tell him about what my bio dad has done to me as well. But my bio dad is coming to stay in a few months and he is dying of cancer..so it's not worth it.
I hate my life.
Now I can't stop eating since opening up about it. I want to feel something so I keep forcing food into myself. I want to purge but I'm at work.
I just needed to get this out.
I am so disassociated I want slash my arms and legs so I can feel something. I feel like I'm under water. Everything is numb but I'm still drowning.
Just a friendly reminder that water/waste weight can be 5+ pounds and stick around for weeks before a "woosh"
/u/exmorbidly
Created: Fri Aug 31 09:19:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9buhkx/just_a_friendly_reminder_that_waterwaste_weight/
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I ate like literal garbage on vacation 2 weeks ago. 2400 calories a day for 6 days, I counted. When I got home, I was up 6 pounds. I thought "oh this is just water weight.. it'll be gone in a couple days! I should have only gained like 2lbs max." 2 weeks go by and the scale has only gone back down 1 or 2 pounds, even though I was eating at a deficit again. I was panicking. Then randomly (without laxatives or anything) the past 2 days I have literally pooped and peed 500 times and lost 4lbs, bringing me back down to where I was before the trip. I seriously think my body was holding all of that in me for 2 weeks. Fking insane.
I need to hide my weight loss
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | CW 120 | GW 115 | UGW 110/115 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 31 09:16:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bugv4/i_need_to_hide_my_weight_loss/
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And it's killing me. I'm trying to restrict higher and exercise so I lose at a rate of 1-2 pounds per week. If I lose faster and restrict lower, people will notice. But it's so painfully slow and I have a hard time keeping the food down. I usually purge whenever I get the chance. Yet if people know they'll stop me. Thus is gonna be a long, grueling slow journey.
[Rant/Rave] Waking up from dreams where I binged is like one of the best feelings ever!!!!
/u/not-creative-enough-
Created: Fri Aug 31 09:05:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9budfl/waking_up_from_dreams_where_i_binged_is_like_one/
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I woke up at like 5am this morning (wayyy too early), decided I was hungry so I made a low-cal breakfast and passed out shortly after. In my dream I ate way too much food and felt like utter crap, I soon woke up and realized I hadnāt done any of that and god it felt amazing!!! Knowing I didnāt lose control and screw up my day felt so good!! Itās like having a do-over!
(Sorry if I didnāt flair it properly)
I'm choosing recovery.
/u/wannathrowyouaway
Created: Fri Aug 31 09:01:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9buc4d/im_choosing_recovery/
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I'm on vacation and I've gained some fat and lost muscle. I don't even know my current weight, nor do I want to know. I haven't been working out at all until yesterday and I've been eating like shit. But you know what, I've learned to not hate myself. Now, I'm not saying I don't want to lose weight. But I'm not going to actively try, not now at least. I'm just going to focus on building muscle and I'm also going vegetarian because that's what's best for me.
[Other] do you guys see your veins more when youāre fasting?? lmao itās kind of cool
/u/kahmanee [6ā2ā | 180 | 23.1 | 80+ lbs | Male]
Created: Fri Aug 31 08:36:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bu4w0/do_you_guys_see_your_veins_more_when_youre/
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https://i.redd.it/sr5le3uvwfj11.jpg
back on my bullshit!!
/u/sadfatho [5'5" | HW: 220 lbs | CW:190 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | 23F]
Created: Fri Aug 31 08:33:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bu3xx/back_on_my_bullshit/
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I've been "recovered" from my ED for a few years, but what that actually means is that I've been binging and have gained so much weight I look like a literal tomato. It's like I can't stop.
Well a few days ago I was looking through old pictures with my bf, and he commented "Wow you used to be so skinny! You couldn't have weighed more than 90 lbs!" and it was the most TRIGGERING shit I've dealt with in a while. I know he didn't mean anything negative by it, but I literally haven't been able to eat since then. I wanna be seen as sickly thin again :)))))
DAE not want to be very very thin?
/u/hammerprice [5'11" | obese | -4kg | 26F | vegan | inbox always open to talk!]
Created: Fri Aug 31 08:15:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9btypw/dae_not_want_to_be_very_very_thin/
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I want to lose weight as fast as possible but I don't want to look very very thin. A lot of people talk about specifically wanting to look bone-thin or even look sick/gaunt, wanting their ribs to stick out, etc. but that's not what I want, I just want to lose weight ASAP by any means necessary. I would actually love to look really muscular, like [Jessica Olaya Bentacur](https://www.instagram.com/jessicaolaya15/). But that takes effort lol and I don't feel comfortable working out at my current size so, lose weight first. I do see a lot of people mentioning that they hit their goal weight and still don't feel fulfilled so IDK if this is just how I feel because I'm so overweight and that my opinion would change the closer I got to my current GW.
I feel like I can't be the only one because a lot of dudes with EDs are also trying to look really cut, not skinny, but does this mean I shouldn't post here? I just never hear about anyone whose goal weight isn't underweight. In so many other ways I relate to the posts here, I share so many similar anxieties around eating and food and body image etc, but I never see people aiming for different body types - except for people talking about gender identity/androgyny which I also heavily relate to and I think it's why I want to look so ripped.
What even is the point of fasting??
/u/DinosaursAndStarStuf [5'3.5| 106 | 18.5| F]
Created: Fri Aug 31 08:07:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9btwn8/what_even_is_the_point_of_fasting/
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I last ate at 9pm Wednesday night. Ran 4 miles Thursday morning and had about 120oz of fluid during the day - mostly water, one decaf black coffee, one caffeine free diet soda, and some Gatorade zero. I also hit my step goal of 11k. Weighed in this morning (Friday) at hour 32 of my fast after using the bathroom (I even pooped!!) and I am THE EXACT SAME WEIGHT AS YESTERDAY.
Ugh, fucking how and why. I am so grumpy today now! Plz send happy thoughts if you have any to spare. š
The upside of breaking up with my BF of over a year
/u/myworkhandle
Created: Fri Aug 31 08:02:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9btva8/the_upside_of_breaking_up_with_my_bf_of_over_a/
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He beat me up last week. I've been in abusive relationships before- I WILL NOT participate in another one.
He came to my apartment in the middle of the night last night to get his things- including a TV we just bought together. I didn't want the damn thing anyway- I'm GLAD it's gone.
I stayed sober for him when we were together. Now I can drink as much as I want and binge/purge/ starve AS MUCH AS I WANT. My jeans are already fitting looser.
I had to eat when he was around and had to hide any B/P as best as I could. NOT ANYMORE!!!! If I don't want to eat, I won't. If I feel like sleeping all day, I will. If I want to drink my life away, it's on. FUCK THAT ASSHOLE. My life is mine again. THANK GOD.
[Goal] Reached a few goals but thats apparently even more triggering lol
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Fri Aug 31 07:50:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9btrqs/reached_a_few_goals_but_thats_apparently_even/
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Some great things have happened.
* im officially down from 152lbs to 126lbs since May! So close to my UGW 100lbs <3
* My boyfriend can lift me without struggling (as much \*eye-roll\*)
* Hes been commenting every time we have sex how small ive gotten and how my ribs are more noticeable. This would be great...if my mind didn't tell me hes only saying what i want to hear and he actually thinks im a fat cow :)
* He mentioned to me last night as i was hunched over putting music on that my "back bones are popping out"
i ate a handful of wheat things and a cookie from a 3 pack he bought yesterday so im trying to stay on this right track. I really wouldn't be able to do it without you guys <3 thank you for being here
​
Waterloading
/u/pelq
Created: Fri Aug 31 07:43:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9btpv4/waterloading/
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I'm currently in recovery, have been for over a year, and I'm at the point where my anorexia is almost completely gone, thank god.
My therapist doesnt care about that though, and neither do my parents, right now they want me to continue to gain weight.
I've been trying my hardest, and eating everything which I've been told to, even more sometimes, but I'm scared my weight won't go up since that will lead to a lot of my privileges being taken away, and my parents no longer trusting me at all.
I have my appointment today, how do I make waterloading more efficient so that the scale definitely does go up?
I'm not doing this because I'm scared to gain, I honestly dont give a damn about how I look or how much I weigh anymore, I just *can't* physically gain anymore.
[Discussion] Is anyone else here really passionate about cooking?
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 175 lbs | 30.63 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 31 07:26:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9btle8/is_anyone_else_here_really_passionate_about/
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I know this is pretty common for people with eating disorders, but I don't hear much about it. I absolutely love cooking. So much so that I've considered going to culinary school before. I'm obsessed with trying new spices, experimenting with different recipes, watching cooking shows, watching eating videos, discussing food and cooking techniques and kitchen gadgets and ingredients and all the rest of it. Very few things make me happier than cooking a meal for people. I threw a dinner party is at my apartment really often - at least once a week.
Sometimes it breaks my heart because I know that I have to choose between actually appreciating and enjoying my love of food, and making it to my goal weight... Because for some reason I'm not the kind of person who can have manage healthy middle ground.
I made a giant pot of really good authentic Cajun gumbo with steamed rice on the side for my office today, and it smells amazing and everyone is really excited. And I'm not going to be able to eat any without logging it and worrying about it and wanting more but not letting myself have seconds. I don't know. It's just making me sad today.
TLDR; cooking is probably the greatest passion in my life, but I can't fully participate in it right now because of my eating disorder. Feeling weird.
[Goal] Pre-New Years resolutions! š instead of making New Years resolutions .................. there is ample time for us to BE the Nyrs resolution by 2019! š¤š½š¤š¾ Goal weights~Binge/purge free~calorie goals~recovery goals~therapy goals
/u/BeginningBarnacle [5'4.5"|126lbs|21.3 BMI|10lbs:downvote:|F:redditgold:]
Created: Fri Aug 31 07:07:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9btgcs/prenew_years_resolutions_instead_of_making_new/
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Letās do this ladies and germs!
I am amped and confident we can slay whatās left of 2018 and start 2019 with our heads high.
My goals for the beginning of 2019 are:
1) get a therapist. If that therapist is lame, keep looking (Iāve only been to two and they werenāt helpful and Iād give up)
2) stay on the 5:2 religiously
3) no bingeing or purgingā
4) start exercising š±
5) meditate daily
[Thinspo] Who is everyoneās celebrity thinspo??
/u/refinnejjjj
Created: Fri Aug 31 06:28:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bt6d9/who_is_everyones_celebrity_thinspo/
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I canāt stop stalking Ariana Grandeās Instagram lol...Iām obsessed with her legs and jawline
[Other] My first day with EC stack: a f*cking roller-coaster.
/u/audreyhepburnwho [25F | 5'8 | cw 159 | hw 196 | sw 172 | lw 150 | ugw 145]
Created: Fri Aug 31 06:24:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bt5el/my_first_day_with_ec_stack_a_fcking_rollercoaster/
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Ooooo boy do I have a story for you. Spoiler alert, I didn't die :D this is gonna be a long one but i suggest you stick around till the end if a) you're considering or are already starting to EC stack, or b) are bored and could use some entertaining storytelling.
So my day yesterday was, fun. A bit of back story, I've been fasting a lot. I kinda fast for a few days and usually end up bingeing but overall still losing.. I wanted to try the stack to see if it'd help with my energy levels during fasts and appetite suppression so i wouldn't binge on refeed days... I ordered bronkaid online and did a shit ton of research on the topic. I had everything down, and a very good plan to start on a very low dose and slowly work my way up.
Bronkaid arrived on Wednesday. It was already afternoon but i wanted to test if I might be sensitive to it, and took a quarter of a pill, which is basically nothing. Didn't feel anything which was a good sign.
Thursday i wanted to actually start. My plan for the first day was to take half a pill in the morning, and another half later on if everything went well (to put it into perspective, normally people work their way up to 3 pills a day). At this point i was fasted for 36 hours. Which for me is practically nothing, I fast a lot. I didn't find anything saying the pills really needed to be taken with food. So I took the first half, along with the equivalent amount of caffeine in the form of an energy drink, and some omega 3, in the morning. Nothing. Around lunch time i crashed, was suuuuper tired, super sleepy. Which to me isn't normal even during fasts, and i had taken my electrolytes per usual.. . I figured it was because i hadn't had my coffee(s)... I usually drink a shit ton of coffee but didn't want to bring too much caffeine into the mix... But then i thought, what if I'm just so desensitized from caffeine that the EC won't take effect, like maybe i need to take the caffeine for the EC on top of my regular coffee cups? Ok so, i drank a coffee. Then another. But all I felt was tired, soool very tired. And then i started feeling cold.... Veeeery cold. I was at work and no one else felt cold but my fingers were practically white, and i started also feeling a bit nauseous.
Now, these could be symptoms of fasting for too long but that's usually what i get like 5 or 6 days into a fast (except for the cold, i never get that, im not underweight) , not on the second day... It was weird. And I knew eating something could help at least with the nausea but i was adamant on not breaking the fast.... Dumbass. So, 4 hours after my first EC dose i took the second one, figuring maybe half was just too low to feel anything. This time i took it with a caffeine pill. But still, hours after, didn't feel any rise in energy, not at all. And Stil felt super cold, while the ephedrine is supposed to make your body temperature go slightly up.
So i came home and i collapsed on my sofa under the covers because i was shivering even though my apartment is quite warm, and wondered if i should just ride the storm. I could try to sleep and hopefully feel better the next day. I thought maybe it's just taking me longer to get to get into ketosis this time or maybe I'm catching the flu..... I was SO weak, cold, tired, i could barely walk and I have absolutely no food at home, ever. At this point i didnt care about my fast but i physically couldn't walk to the store to get something without the fear that i might collapse. So i decided to order in.... I ordered from a burger joint and was kinda in the excited binge mode but it was more like, legit starvation.
The food arrives and i go HAM. However, i got full much earlier than usual. At some point i was c/s'ing just because i felt like there was no room left in my stomach. But seriously ive binged on amounts much bigger than this before, like literally last week lol so i dont think my stomach shrank since then .... Then i realized, it wasnt that i was really full, it was more that this food wasn't tasting that good. I even considered going to the supermarket to grab some dessert, something i often do after ordering in, but i thought about it... And turns out I didn't crave it at all.
Normally, once the binge gates are open, i can't stop, and one thing i never turn down is chocolate. But the thought of it just seemed unappealing... Huh. This is important because this is what i believe to be the first effect of the stack i felt.
About an hour after i started eating, i was much more awake/energized. Again, normal, i just ate for the first time in like almost 48 hours. I was also not cold anymore. Yay! Then i started feeling... Restless. I already have restless leg syndrome (the thing where people mindlessly tap their foot or shake their leg when sitting still) but this was on another level. I was watching tv and fidgeting. I started feeling it more and more.... Wow. Energy. I considered going for a long walk to ride it out. I even considered going to the gym which thank god i didnt do. Ok, finally the ec is kicking in, i thought! Cool. :) hah. But my night was just about to start.
I then start feeling warm. Nice change after a whole day of coldness... My cheeks were pink, my thighs and my stomach were particularly warm, and i was feeling more and more restless. I noticed my heartbeat was clearly faster. This is what i should have felt shortly after dosing the EC, not so many hours later (i took the first one at 7am, the second at 12pm, and by now it was around 6pm.)
I just kept getting warmer and warmer.... Like, very very very warm. I was sweating. Then i noticed i was dehydrated (while ec stacking you're supposed to drink more water than usual), my eyes were dry. I started drinking a lot of water hoping it would calm my body down. I went to bed.
I lay in bed still restless. By now i have a terrible headache and i do the math and realize i ended up having about twice the amount of caffeine i usually do (: which explains the headache. My mind was tired but my body was like, ready to go. I felt like RUNNING ffs, and i dont run. I've seen people say you might need to workout or at least move more because you need to use the extra energy, but i didnt think my first days dose would be enough for that and also i didnt want to go workout in the state i was in because overheating is a serious risk. So i just lay in bed and hope I'll fall asleep and it'll stop.
I did indeed fall asleep, probably sometime after 8pm. I was waking up here and there to go pee and every time i woke up i was still ridiculously hot, sweating, and dehydrated, and every time i drank as much water as i could handle. After a few times doing this, and never looking at the clock, i wake up feeling much better. Temperature was back to normal, heartbeat as well. Stil sweating a lot but i felt really well rested. At this point i have no idea what time it was, but i felt like i had slept 10 hours straight. I look at the clock. 11pm. I had only slept 3 hours. It was a very deep sleep.
So i went back to bed, woke up to pee a few more times, and woke up in the morning fully rested, no more headache or other symptoms.
What a ride. I realize now typing this, it sounds way scarier than it was. I would've been freaking out if i hadn't taken the ec or if these were abnormal side effects. I wasn't freaked because i have a solid theory for what happened..... I think that because i took the ec on a empty stomach it wasn't properly digested and probably kinda sat in my stomach for a while. So when i finally ate, it was absorbed and the effect kicked in, and by now i already had a ton of caffeine in my system which amplified the effects.
Today i feel much much better. In order to rule out an over sensibility to the ephedrine that would keep me from being able to use it at all, i did it again today. At 9am, i ate a very light breakfast (only some vegetables) and took half a pill then. I'm much more careful with caffeine intake today and only took the amount needed for the ec dose. It's now 2pm, i haven't felt any changes in body temperature, but do feel only slightly more energized than usual, and food is indeed rather unappealing right now. Im gonna take the other half soon and keep it at that. Tomorrow I'm gonna try 3 doses of a half a pill and I'm going to the gym to test how it affects my workout. I plan on VERY slowly working up to 2 whole pills (bodybuilders take 3 whole pills but I'm no bodybuilder so i might not need as much). Again, today i feel completely fine and there's no weird reaction. This gave me the last push i needed to stop cycling with fasts and binges, my plan for this month is to low restrict, with 2 small meals a day which would be when i take the ec, hopefully the ec will make restricting easier (i fast because i find not eating to be easier than restricting... But hopefully the ec will make it easier) and this way I'll hopefully not binge.
Thanks for making it this far!
Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! August 31, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 31 06:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bt2mb/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_august/
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This is the weekly picture thread for August 31, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! August 31, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 31 06:12:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bt2l3/daily_food_diary_august_31_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 31, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
2nd day of fasting, gained even more
/u/pipercloe
Created: Fri Aug 31 05:37:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bsusy/2nd_day_of_fasting_gained_even_more/
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Iām fucking losing it. Just completed hour 56 of a fast and am UP 1.2 lbs. This shouldnāt even be possible. I feel like Iām carrying the antichrist of water weight that is growing despite all odds. Iām not sure if I should fast for another 24 hours or eat something, or if itās just my whack ass scale. Seriously what is happening to me!!!
[Other] 1 year with bulimia. I feel like Iām stuck in place running and getting nowhere.
/u/WaityKaity [5'4" | LW 46kg | HW 65kg | -5kg]
Created: Fri Aug 31 05:21:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bsr7q/1_year_with_bulimia_i_feel_like_im_stuck_in_place/
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https://i.redd.it/45v21dz2yej11.jpg
[Discussion] In regards to weight loss do you focus on anything besides calories?
/u/gothicapples
Created: Fri Aug 31 04:11:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bsdad/in_regards_to_weight_loss_do_you_focus_on/
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I personally donāt care about carbs,fat,sugar etc
I donāt focus on any of those things I only watch my calorie intake
I never also never exercise (besides basic fidgeting/legs always shaking) and I have always been able to lose weights just fine
I just always see people saying like yea itās only 100 calories but like 25 carbs or yea itās only 50 calories but so much sugar I just donāt care about things like that just calories going in my body BUT I always calculate the true calories and use that unless the package is higher then I use the higher number
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else just fucking love fasting ??
/u/softdyke
Created: Fri Aug 31 02:20:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9brtvt/does_anyone_else_just_fucking_love_fasting/
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Iām on hour 33 and feel completely fine and good and excited and Iām about to have a coffee and a cigarette and Iām going to try and fast until Sunday ! Feeling good and happy
[Other] [NSFW] do you ever fantasize about being smaller in an intimate way?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Fri Aug 31 02:12:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9brsg6/nsfw_do_you_ever_fantasize_about_being_smaller_in/
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I noticed last night that as my minor ed has taken root I've started to fantasize about intimacy after reaching my next goal weight, or the one after that. Does anyone else do this or am I going insane?
[Rant/Rave] My health is so fucked up
/u/Nutellapples
Created: Fri Aug 31 02:11:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9brs96/my_health_is_so_fucked_up/
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And I'm not even skinny yet! Gosh I'm angry. I thought I would actually start getting sick at 120lbs or so , but im getting super sick and stuck at 150lbs... fuck , I hope In the end it's all worth it and I can get to my goal weight or my body just gives up in the process.
[Help] I just ate a tea bag
/u/cookingwine2 [173cm | CW: 55.7kg | GW: 44kg | 16F]
Created: Fri Aug 31 01:33:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9brlkl/i_just_ate_a_tea_bag/
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I brought a tea bag into my room because I was hungry and could smell it and I ate it. I hope there wasnāt more than 20 calories. Has anyone else done that?
I fainted after a binge last night, and my eating disorder has once again proven what an irrational monster I have become.
/u/brbaaaa
Created: Fri Aug 31 01:18:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9britc/i_fainted_after_a_binge_last_night_and_my_eating/
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Last night I had a pretty small binge (I mean small compared to my usual binges) after restricting for a while, but when I went to the bathroom to purge I suddenly started to feel so dizzy and disoriented. It felt like a bad anxiety attack at first, so I tried to calm myself down WHILE trying to purge, on my knees, basically leaning on the toilet seat because I had NO energy. I knew something more was going on when my heart started beating even faster and I began hyperventilating. My vision became blurry, too, which upon research I found out that all of those symptoms could be the result of sudden increase in blood sugar.
So I got up (barely) and started walking to my bed, all the while 1. concerned about weight gain, 2. planning to fast & figuring out how much I should exercise the next day, and 3. I CANNOT DIE WITH ALL THIS FOOD IN ME. because I really felt like I was going to die.
On my way to my bed I just collapsed on the floor and I'm genuinely grateful there was no physical injury because I fell head first.. Not too sure but I don't think I was out for a long time, maybe around 3-5 minutes? But you know what I did as soon as I "woke up?" I went straight back to the bathroom and started purging, thinking "thank god I can purge now." A normal person would have just gone to bed or to the ER. I almost died and even then I let bulimia control my every move. What the hell is wrong with me?
[Help] OCPD, anyone?
/u/cccant_you_see [5'6" | 121lbs | ā]
Created: Thu Aug 30 23:38:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqz9m/ocpd_anyone/
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I guess Iām looking for some sort of solidarity. I have OCPD, and itās a recent realization (not self-diagnosed). I understand it goes hand in hand with depression (I have MDD) and eating disorders (not officially diagnosed with one, but got the āif you were underweight, youād meet the criteriaā answer).
With other psychological problems in my life, Iāve managed to come to terms with them pretty easily. But with OCPD... itās like every single part of my life is so obvious now. Everything about me is fucked up. My way of being is *wrong*, and itās not fully intentional, most of it is deeply ingrained and automatic.
I used to think all of this was normal. My entire history feels like a lie. I am a bad joke.
Naturally, I canāt stop obsessing over it, and I canāt stop thinking about killing myself. Iāve dealt with suicidal ideation for a long time, but this is so bad. It feels physically painful, I am disgusted by myself and my life, I canāt imagine ever getting better. Iāve spent my whole life on a quest for self improvement, now I need to do it over again but with a new set of standards or rules, or WITHOUT those things?
Iām so fucking exhausted.
The more I let go of trying to perfect and control other things in my life, the more the focus is on my weight and appearance. Itās like the last, and the easiest thing I can try to exert control over.
Donāt eat. Obsess over food. Triple-check calorie counts. Weigh yourself in the morning, before eating or drinking, but after relieving yourself.
It all hurts so much.
finally not a lurker
/u/asiaticlily
Created: Thu Aug 30 23:27:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqwzn/finally_not_a_lurker/
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Oh hiiiii friends,
Iāve been lurking here for months, and Iām finally ready to post here after having a bottle of wine. Yeah, alcohol calories are shit. Can confirm.
So, I relapsed into my eating disorder when I got sober from alcohol like 9 months ago. I was just telling myself I was concerned with being fit again and losing the weight from drinking a lot..but then I relapsed with the booze, and here I am. Still concerned with calories. Lost 45 pounds from my HW an now stuck with the starving myself and the alcoholism. Super fun times. Funny how my mind copes with addiction. Iām now 5ā10ā, and 136 pounds and thatās definitely not near good enough for me. Just finally trying to put myself out here and admit to myself publicly that yes, I have alcoholism , and yup, Iāve coped with that fact with an eating disorder. Yikes. Double whammy.
Fuck my dinner right?
/u/PainfulKneeZit
Created: Thu Aug 30 23:27:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqwxv/fuck_my_dinner_right/
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Thanks clumsy me (I was gonna eat a snack box [140cals]) for dinner, but accidentally flipped it off the table onto the floor, and was only able to salvage maybe 100cals worth. Whatever, probably the universe telling me I don't need so much anywayyy.
[Discussion] How did you find this sub?
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 105 | 19.2 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 23:01:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqrns/how_did_you_find_this_sub/
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Genuinely curious how everyone came across this sub. I found it when I was investigating how efficient chewing and spitting was on google.
Experiencing cold/flu symptoms
/u/fxuk
Created: Thu Aug 30 22:51:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqpln/experiencing_coldflu_symptoms/
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Been restricting about 750 cals for the past couple days, and Iām getting some cold-like symptoms. Have you experienced this?
[Rant/Rave] Terrified for the weekend
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 22:44:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqnuw/terrified_for_the_weekend/
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Tomorrow is Friday. The beginning of a three day weekend. For the last few weeks, I have been stuck in a fast/restrict on weekdays and binge on weekends cycle. Iām still losing weight, albeit slowly, but itās taking a huge emotional toll on me. I have made a whole plan of things I am gonna do to keep myself busy. Ways Iām gonna talk myself out of the binge. I want this so badly. Just ONE successful weekend. Just one. I can binge next weekend But let me have this one. I have so much anxiety about this that I canāt sleep. How do I tow the line between not eating too much and triggering a binge and not eating too little and triggering a binge? Iām gonna try so hard to listen to my body but at this point Iām not even sure what that sentence means entirely.
I wanna believe that I can do this. Thereās no reason I canāt do this.
Beginning a 40 day liquid fast and really need some support
/u/suranzuri
Created: Thu Aug 30 22:42:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqncb/beginning_a_40_day_liquid_fast_and_really_need/
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Everything was going so well at the beginning of the year: I was eating well and had a fixed gym schedule... then I meta guy a the gym who broke my heart a few months later. Badly. I quickly fell back into depression, avoided the gym and steadily added all the weight I'd lost back on (9 lbs). 3 weeks ago, I was raped by a guy who followed me home from the bar and have been binging daily since. I put on another 10 lbs and now I'm back to where I was two years ago. All my hard work, gone.
I'm currently feeling super hopeless but today I've decided that I will do my best to lose as much weight as possible within the next 40 days... but I really need some support and words of encouragement. I did a 48 day caloric restriction diet before - living solely on coffee and maybe 200 - 300 calories of solid food, and I worked out daily for 1hr 20 mins, and on some days even 2 hrs - and I dropped around 50 lbs (SW: ~ 245 and the end weight stalled at ~ 195).
Since then, I slowly but steadily lost more until I hit my lowest in the longest time, 161 lbs this past January. Due to terrible eating habits and depression, today I weighed in at 180 lbs and I am mortified. The only reason I won't be going on a full water fast is because I would like to have the energy to be active and enjoy the day. I would like to workout while still losing. My current weight goal is 130 lbs and I'm certain that if I remain accountable and honest with myself, I can reach it within the next 40 days.
I just want to feel like somebody is on my side... I know at the end of the tunnel is better health and a better lifestyle which I will stick to. Can't tell my family because they would never support such a thing. I'm new to the community and see how well you all treat one another, I think this will serve as a good space until then. :)
[Tip] PSA: please never abuse laxatives it will change your digestive system forever
/u/gothicapples
Created: Thu Aug 30 22:40:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqn0l/psa_please_never_abuse_laxatives_it_will_change/
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I abused laxatives 7 years ago and stopped 5 years ago TMI things have NEVER been the same I can now not use the bathroom regularly and laxatives donāt even work for me anymore so even after not going for weeks there is very little I can do until my body chooses
I know most things about anorexia,bulimia etc is bad but this really is so irreversible
Just my two cents
Not so slim friends can make things worse?
/u/lamepianist
Created: Thu Aug 30 22:29:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqkq6/not_so_slim_friends_can_make_things_worse/
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Okay so I get it weight loss is great (sometimes)
But it so hard not to restrict when I get comments on how good I look or how people wish they could lose weight like me or wish they could be my size.
And like I know they all mean well, but theyāre unintentionally fueling my ED
Like how can I be a healthy eating person, when my unhealthy eating habits are rewarded?
For example, earlier today I mini binged and ate half a quesadilla and got full (150 cal). And my ānot so slimā friend immediately said āI wish that could get me full, must be niceā
Which positively enforced my lack of appetite, little do they know my lack of appetite is due to fasting and restricting.
Any tips on how to deal with this? I donāt want to tell them to stop because then that means explaining why itās not good.
But also if I ever want a healthier relationship with food, then this canāt continue. IDK what to do :/
[Other] Not going to purge
/u/aisha7 [5'2'' | HW 141 |CW 129| -11 lbs | 18F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 22:19:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqil5/not_going_to_purge/
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I just binged. I have been eating at around 1000 calories for the past two weeks and running every day. Today I got my period unexpectedly and I got some crazy cravings. I ate an entire dominos pizza for about 2400 calories. I am uncomfortable, but I will not purge. Tomorrow I should still be full from today, so I will not eat unless I get hungry. I will go out and do my regular schedule. I know that my total caloric weekly average this week is under 1200. I know that my net intake is much lower than that due to running practice. I know one bad night is not going to turn into a binge purge cycle. I am refusing to let this one night ruin a good week. I owe it to myself to keep myself accountable for my mistakes and love myself despite them.
I just binged, but I will not purge.
META: Can someone create one of those new Reddit chat things?
/u/Grellous8 [5'6.5" | Fatkunt | 16M]
Created: Thu Aug 30 22:09:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqg7y/meta_can_someone_create_one_of_those_new_reddit/
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I just found out about Reddit's new update with the chat room function. It would be pretty cool to get some *somewhat* more live interaction with everyone here as support and good conversation can be made more accessible. I only ask and don't do because TBH I don't really know how this whole thing works and would appreciate if someone more knowledgeable could help me/us out. Let me know what you guys think...
[Discussion] "Meals" vs. "snacks": what's your definition?
/u/tofu_igloo
Created: Thu Aug 30 22:08:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqg2v/meals_vs_snacks_whats_your_definition/
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I've seen some really comforting "commiserating about weird ED thoughts/behaviors" threads lately and it got me thinking about one of mine that I want to see some more theories on.
I try to figure out my food plan for the night (i'm at work all day 6 days a week so I essentially only eat after dark?) by weighing myself and using whatever my current guidelines are to determine how much is fine to eat. So above X weight is, like, negligible cals food only (raw veggies?) the next category down is "snacks only, no meals" then "a meal is fine" then if I'm at the lowest it's "hell yes eat everything."
But the thing is, volume/complexity of food scares me maybe even more than calories so I know my meals vs. snacks definitions are kind of weird. Basically a meal is anything that:
Goes in a bowl or on a dinner plate instead of in a coffee mug or on a saucer
Is served hot (exception: instant miso soup)
Has more than two food groups at the same time (so, like, a piece of wrap bread dipped in hummus = a snack, but the same piece of bread rolled up with the same amount of hummus but also spinach = a meal)
DAE have similar wack-ass definitions/justifications re: food semantics?
[Help] Post class binge
/u/CrushedOats
Created: Thu Aug 30 21:56:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqd93/post_class_binge/
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School just started for me I had a perfectly planned out lunch (one strawberry, apple slice, and grilled tofu all 100cals total!) and proceeded to come home & eat 600 cals of yogurt, cheese and other fruits. Now Iām lying in bed feeling bloated as hell & sad that Iām over my 500 a day limit.
Anyway how do yāall stop yourself from snacking when you come home from work/school? Thank you so much!!
[Discussion] Film school project?
/u/trappedinaclub
Created: Thu Aug 30 21:52:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bqcbp/film_school_project/
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So basically Iām going to film school and Iām focusing on documentary filmmaking. For one of our bigger projects, Iāve had it in the back of my mind for awhile to do one about eating disorders, more specifically the way that some people with eating disorders are sort of brushed off or not taken seriously when opening up about their eating disorder. For example, when my ED was at its worst, I had confided in a really good friend of mine how I was struggling and eating so much and then just purging, and she basically just said you donāt have an eating disorder just stop eating so much. Iāve seen quite a few posts on here about people going to a doctor or a professional and not being taken seriously because perhaps theyāre not terribly thin or they may be overweight, which to me is absurd because an eating disorder is an eating disorder, and no matter what end of the spectrum eating disorders can be dangerous both mentally and physically.
So thatās sort of what I want to focus on. Iām just kind of wondering like how would you guys feel about seeing something that looks into that issue? I just really want to make this but I want to handle it with delicacy because itās such a complicated issue. If thereās any reservations or potential issues you guys can see please tell me!
Also if you guys know of any good documentaries that do deal with EDās in a similar way please recommend them!
Found in loseit.Well, I'm triggered as fuck now ,
/u/AbjectRepresentative [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Aug 30 21:35:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bq8rn/found_in_loseitwell_im_triggered_as_fuck_now/
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http://imgur.com/gallery/79YOZi3
[Help] Donāt know how much to restrict
/u/kireua
Created: Thu Aug 30 21:31:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bq7ni/dont_know_how_much_to_restrict/
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I restrict under 600 calories a day, usually closer to 200-300 but Iāll try to hit 600.
The other day I noticed my hair pulling out v easily and got super scared so I ate 800 calories that day. I had a mental breakdown that night and I was super sad. I was like lmao Iām fat AND Iām gonna lose my hair (which is the only part of me I actually like)
I ate 505 today, and I told myself that I have to up my calorie intake to 900 but even thinking about that many cals makes me terrified. I donāt know what to do. I feel so fat and gross I donāt know if I should push myself up to 900 (bec last time I restricted to 1k i gained ???)
also lmao if anyone used to have love handles, and lost them when u lost weight plz tell me god I despise mine even going from a BMI of 27 to 23 they havenāt gone away remotely
Emotional support cats
/u/sninas24
Created: Thu Aug 30 21:30:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bq7j5/emotional_support_cats/
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Hi! Does anyone have any experiences with adopting a cat as emotional support animal? Iād love to adopt a dog, but Iām just not home enough. My ED and depression have gotten really bad, and Iām trying to find anything that may help. I have always loved animals and being around them does make me happier, so Iām definitely thinking about it. Was the process of getting the ācertificationā difficult? Was it hard to work with your landlord? Any advice would help!
[Rant/Rave] TIL that a US size 2 is apparently a medium in Europe
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 21:25:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bq6i1/til_that_a_us_size_2_is_apparently_a_medium_in/
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I ordered a bunch of stuff from Mango, which I love, and I was ordering from the US version of the website so I did US sizing. I put everything into my cart and thought nothing of it. It arrived today and everything was marked as a size medium. Apparently in Europe Iām a size medium. So now Iām sort of scared to try everything on because what if they fit?...but also what if they donāt. Idk. Just frustrated because Iām never quite the smallest.
[Rant/Rave] I ate 4,000 calories today
/u/NathansRattail
Created: Thu Aug 30 21:13:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bq3ow/i_ate_4000_calories_today/
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My goal is 1,000.
Maintenance is 1,600.
MFP says if every day was like today I'd gain 20 lbs in 5 weeks.
I was 2 lbs away from my initial goal weight.
Fuck PMS.
[Rant/Rave] Iām ignoring it again...
/u/drowing_dancer
Created: Thu Aug 30 21:12:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bq3dw/im_ignoring_it_again/
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So I was doing really well over the summer with my bulimia for a few weeks while on vacation. Then I came back and it all went to shit. I isolated myself for weeks and was falling apart for about the millionth time before having one of my worst panic attacks to date. I went to my familyās house for about a week and felt calm. Then as soon as I got back it all got bad again. I was really conscious of it for a while but then it just became a normal thing I do at least once a day. Until yesterday, when I didnāt have the time for it. It was so nice to feel like myself and not wrapped up in this stupid, stupid game Iām playing with myself.
And then today I did it again. Enormous b/p. I feel like shit. I feel bad saying it, but wish I was anorexic again, at least my throat wouldnāt hurt so damn bad. The WORST thing about all of it though is I know exactly what my problems are that make me do all of this and I just canāt seem to knock my habits, be it restricting or b/ping.
[Discussion] Anyone else's apartment/house/bedroom reflect their current mode?
/u/AnaTroi [5'9" | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 21:06:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bq285/anyone_elses_apartmenthousebedroom_reflect_their/
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I'm sure this has come up before, but I'm really noticing it in myself lately. Does your living situation reflect your disorder? When I'm hardcore restricting, my apartment is immaculate. In fact, my whole life is just generally "more together.
When I'm purging and not paying close enough attention to my calories to make my obsessive brain happy, my apartment goes to hell in a handbasket.
Anyone else?
Starving, then finally eat. Then can't finish my food, start feeling naseous
/u/Paisleybabe
Created: Thu Aug 30 20:57:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bpzzz/starving_then_finally_eat_then_cant_finish_my/
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Does anyone else relate? I don't mind it but I also don't want to waste the food / my money
How do you dial down sweetness without looking like a dweeb?
/u/MOSEDalt [5'1 | 104.2 | 19.2 | GW 84 | NB]
Created: Thu Aug 30 20:55:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bpzl8/how_do_you_dial_down_sweetness_without_looking/
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For the most part, I stick to coffee and tea (with sugar, I'm not a monster). To stay away from desserts, I tend to lean more towards diet sodas. I'm sure all know that pop companies like to go nuts with their "100x sweeter than sugar" bullshit, and it's' way too sweet for me. How can I make it less sweet without looking like an idiot who's watering down diet sodas?
6 years away from palaces like this and now I'm back
/u/NerdyLisa
Created: Thu Aug 30 20:40:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bpw4z/6_years_away_from_palaces_like_this_and_now_im/
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I have been healthy and eating without any disordered behavior for about 6 years. I had to go for a physical for my new job last week. I was shocked by how high my weight has gotten. I am seriously overweight, and it has sent me over the edge into a cycle of craziness in my head where all I hear is "you are fat, you are fat, you are fat" like I am talking to people but it is there "you are fat" I guess I didn't realize it because to me when I look in the mirror I look exactly the same as I always look, fat. But now the number is matching what I see, fat. Normal dieting never works for me, I hired a personal trainer a few years ago to try to change the shape of my body and maybe look leaner, and it was a constant fight, she had me on 1500 calories, I gained, she had me on 1200 calories I gained. She accused me of lying, said I had to be eating things I wasn't writing down. I told her I wouldn't stop gaining unless I was around 800 a day. I don't know any other way to get rid of weight but to restrict, maybe that is why I got so fat, I only know 2 things eat anything I want or eat nearly nothing. I don't know what I want now, I can't continue to gain and become obese, but I'm not sure I want to go the other way again, but part of me does. Part of me is like it would be fun to restrict, to play that game, to see how little I can make it through the day on and try to eat less the next day. Ugh, if you read this thanks, I just had to get it all out.
[Discussion] Stopped counting calories therefore stopped binging
/u/philoqueen [5'7 | CW: 110 | BMI: 17.2 | GW: 105 | 23F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 20:37:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bpv7j/stopped_counting_calories_therefore_stopped/
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After an awful binge episode in the beginning of August, I deleted MFP, stopped counting calories, I stopped fasting, I stopped intentionally limiting myself to under 500 calories a day (it was always unintentional when it did happen), I ate a burger when I craved it, a muffin when I craved it, I light restricted naturally (I think?) and I walked a lot. I also stopped watching ED videos, food related videos, etc. and started going out and DOING things besides sitting at home and staring at my fridge.
It has changed my life yāall. I literally donāt want to binge, I donāt crave junk food, I donāt crave food at all in general. All because I donāt have the āI canāt have thatā attitude. Iāve been trying to develop the perspective of āI CAN have that, I can have whatever food I want, but I donāt WANT that.ā But I donāt beat myself up over eating something ābadā I say ālol that was bad, oh well š¤·š»āāļøā
And the weight (after a 3 month plateau) is melting off me absurdly fast. I weighed 108 this morning which is the lowest Iāve ever weighed.
I never thought this would work, Iām getting closer and closer to my UGW and I am STOKED.
Not implying this will or wonāt work for you, but I AM implying to do what intuitively feels right and youāll reach your goals. Forcing yourself to do something someone else does may not work for you and thatās fine.
Everyoneās mind and body really do work vastly differently. Maybe Iām dumb but I never really realized the extent until now.
i want to be fetishized
/u/backbysix
Created: Thu Aug 30 20:14:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bppph/i_want_to_be_fetishized/
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i read about those āpro-ana coachesā who are actually predatory guys taking advantage of insecure girls, and itās terrible, and i want it.
it could be coming from my mental illnesses, or my sexuality, or my self-loathing, or my ED, or some overlap. i canāt tell.
all i know is i never personified my ED as āana.ā i donāt personify it at all really, but if i did, it would be a man demeaning me.
i feel like iām probably the only one like this. and i donāt want to encourage anyone to take my desire as something anyone other than me has.
iām fucked up.
āI only eat 1000 a day, why am I so big?ā
/u/lessismost
Created: Thu Aug 30 20:04:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bpn4d/i_only_eat_1000_a_day_why_am_i_so_big/
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I wouldnāt rub it in, even in secret, even in a throw away if you didnāt keep running your mouth about it,
A bagel, cream cheese and butter. A double double. 320 plus 100 plus 100 plus 150? 650, there was no āone tablespoonā of anything on it.
Apple and heaping peanut butter? 72 plus 94 plus 94 .... 260.
Half a pizza: 920.
Thatās only what I saw you eat. I know you had chips. I know you drank booze. Can you stop pretending that you are anorexic, please and have metabolism problem??! It belittles us all. And Iām not your āskinny bitchā and āluckyā friend. Iām sick. Stop it.
[Rant/Rave] Iāve binged for 3 days straight
/u/staticphat [Height: 5'3 | CW: 125 | BMI: 22.1]
Created: Thu Aug 30 19:48:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bpj2s/ive_binged_for_3_days_straight/
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And I know Iām probably gonna overeat this weekend bc I have relatives coming over tmmrw and a family reunion and all my family likes to do is eat.
I wanna cut my stomach out :(((((
Girlfriend told me she thinks she has eating disorder
/u/Flvr_blstd_gldfsh
Created: Thu Aug 30 19:40:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bpgvb/girlfriend_told_me_she_thinks_she_has_eating/
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She just told me that she has been occasionally making herself puke after eating; or chewing food up, tasting it, then spitting it out. She is really skinny (not like anorexic), but always says she feels fat and hates her body. It is hard for me to understand because she is clearly and obviously skinny and in shape, and it doesn't help when I reassure her. I don't know what to say or do because I don't know anything about eating disorders. any advice? Her mom is a psychologist, maybe I should tell her (even if she wasn't a psychologist that might be a good idea?).
[Discussion] IAE really open, except for this?
/u/summerservice [5'2 | 180 | -20 | 19F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 19:31:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bpeof/iae_really_open_except_for_this/
---
I donāt really keep secrets. I tell all of my friends embarrassing things about myself freely so we can laugh together. all of my misfortunes have the potential to be funny; even while Iām crying and venting Iām still cracking jokes about what happened. it makes me feel better yāknow?
but I canāt be open about my ed. thereās no way. I get close - I make an iffy joke and then immediately cover it up. I comment on how high calorie a restaurantās food is and then rush to claim itās a cheat day, so fuck it. I exaggerate how long Iāve been on this ādiet,ā this new āhealth kickā so the weight loss doesnāt seem so sudden. I lie about having eaten earlier in the day, or if Iām at lunch I say something about saving calories for dinner. āyou know how my dadās cooking is.ā all young girls diet. itās not that weird to talk about calories or to only order diet soda or to go for hour-long walks every single day.
I can joke about being āhydrated as SHIT, dudeā but I canāt joke about how those 120 ounces of water were all I put in my body in the last 36 hours. I can laugh about vertigo and how āIāve never felt balanced at any point in my life, so jot that down,ā but I canāt really be truthful about why Iām so dizzy out of nowhere and canāt walk straight sometimes.
this feels really melodramatic haha but itās just weird to me to have something thatās a total secret. I donāt know how to feel better about it. (except by looking at r/proedmemes love that shit)
[Rant/Rave] Anxiety building up
/u/KrustyKup
Created: Thu Aug 30 19:28:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bpdvl/anxiety_building_up/
---
Feeling out of control bc I did so good restricting a couple of weeks ago that I actually started to lose my appetite for some time and then I felt the need to over eat bc people were noticing my lack of eating and now Iāve gotten my appetite back and Iām compulsively eating (somewhere in the middle of overeating and binging, more than I should eat to lose weight but not huge amounts of food like I used to). I always yearn to be in a heavy restricting phase bc I feel like Iām not he biggest failure on the planet. Gonna do OMAD tomorrow, Iām not gonna snack. MARK MY WORDS REDDIT
Body check
/u/KaitlynMK
Created: Thu Aug 30 19:24:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bpcpz/body_check/
---
http://imgur.com/M6Fbeub
[Rant/Rave] I think I'm starting to recover. Thank you to everyone on ProED, EDfood and ProEDmemes for making me feel less alone in this dark time in my life.
/u/HungryThrowMeAway [š¹4'11 | CW 98-96 lbs | GW 95 lbs | -27 lbs | Fš¹]
Created: Thu Aug 30 19:04:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bp7pz/i_think_im_starting_to_recover_thank_you_to/
---
Hello to everyone here.
​
So yes, this may be my last post for awhile.
​
Because I'm doing better.
I don't hate myself as much as I used to.
Everyday it's getting easier to tell my insecure "you're a subhuman waste of space" thoughts to eff off.
Food is starting to become something besides just fear and dread.
​
I feel like I matter again.
​
Now, things are still not perfect, of course.
I still sometimes feel like less of a human being for not exercising enough.
I still don't eat enough.
I still have to watch every ding dong calorie that enters my mouth.
​
So it's far from perfect. But it's better.
​
Basically, I hate my body less. But, my obsessive tendencies reared their neatly arranged heads, and fixated on restriction.
BUT (And yes, I know this post has more butts than a rap music video)
I'm doing better. I went from restricting under 400 calories a day, to trying to meet 800-1000. I'm starting to feel less afraid of food, and I've started caring about myself more. I deserve to eat. I deserve to exist. Since my need to restrict is now fuelled mostly by obsession and habit surrounding the calories themselves rather than self hatred, it has become easier to eat more. I feel proud when I eat 800 calories, instead of guilty.
​
Of course I know it won't be all sunshine and rainbows (it needs sprinkles too).
I know that I'm going to have bad days. I know I'm going to mess up. But for the first time in I-don't-know-how-long, I feel like maybe, just maybe, it'll be okay.
​
BUT
BIG
(or small)
SMEXY
BUTT
Before I go
I want to thank everyone here.
I really needed somebody, and I had you all. I had people I could relate to, a group of people who could understand me, and what I was going through. People who weren't going to treat me like a freak, force me into a hospital ward, or tell me to eat a cheeseburger. And I really appreciate that. Outsiders like to make out this subreddit as if it causes people to develop eating disorders. Well, to them, I say that if it wasn't for ProED, I might not be starting to recover. You all helped me get through this. So thank you.
​
Bye everyone.
(Though I will be back one more time, I still do have one last ED-related story to share, which involves getting caught in the middle of a forest by a little old lady, while pitching rotten sausages into a tree Babe Ruth style, but that's for me to type up another day when I'm less sleepy)
​
​
[Discussion] What kind of exercise do you do?
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | CW 120 | GW 115 | UGW 110/115 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 19:02:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bp77z/what_kind_of_exercise_do_you_do/
---
I tend to stick to cardio, but was wondering what else works. Just curious if you run or do weights or whatever you might do.
[Tip] Stop eating Vasaline pls
/u/0kcalHaldol
Created: Thu Aug 30 18:54:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bp59e/stop_eating_vasaline_pls/
---
Ok children and people who call themselves adults!
Itās time for your Pro-Ana/Mia Tipz! /s
Now apparently on some sites we are eating Vasaline to make the food just slip through and not absorb!
Stop this if you have started!
If you have not started then DONāT!
Think of the diarrhea!
(And to those of you who wonder about the calories, they **say** it does not absorb, however I personally am skeptical of that, I would not risk all those fatty cals myself so yea)
Have a great day you guys and stay safe!
Either eat it now or dont eat at all
/u/mabver321 [5'1 | CW 143 | GW 108| F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 18:53:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bp4wx/either_eat_it_now_or_dont_eat_at_all/
---
Did anyone else grow up in a household where it was every person for themselves? Like if any food was around the house you would have to get to it really fast or someone else would eat all of it and leave you hungry? I think thats what really started my insatiable binging.
[Rant/Rave] Omg irony š
/u/ruckertlieder
Created: Thu Aug 30 18:50:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bp46t/omg_irony/
---
So tomorrow at 9am I have an appointment at the local ED treatment centre. I saw them a month ago for the big 3-hour āintakeā. Tomorrow they ātell me what kind of eating disorder, if anyā I have. Great. Yay.
I am 36, been like this since I was 14. Mostly phases of purging and restriction, but once every few months I add laxatives to the mix because...fuck me, I guess.
I got home tonight from work after another 12 hour work day in a month of 12 hour work days and suddenly the morning laxatives hit. And I ran to the bathroom.
But not fast enough.
I shat myself the night before an appointment where theyāre going to tell me if I have an eating disorder. š
It shouldnāt be funny because wtf. But also lol.
And I cleaned up, started a load of laundry, and then hopped on my three scales to see if it made a difference.
It did, on all 3 scales.
And now Iām sitting on my bleached bathroom bathroom floor (just in case) wondering if I should take more because Iām really afraid Iām going to show up tomorrow and weigh the same as I did when they weighed me a month ago and theyāll decide Iām not sick and it took me so long to get to the point of wanting to get help....but maybe Iāll show up and theyāll tell me Iām really sick and force me to get help and Iāll have to take time off work and people will know and...
So. Share your worst/grossest ED moments or your night before treatment stories please?
Iām so terrified.
[Rant/Rave] Ode to Vitamin Water Zero
/u/angelic-rose [š¹ 19F | 5ā6 | 127 | 20.41 | GW1 120]
Created: Thu Aug 30 18:34:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bozym/ode_to_vitamin_water_zero/
---
I skipped dinner bc I only had 200 calories left for the day, which is fine bc I only had cravings anyways. I went to my campus convenience store to buy other stuff (probs binge food) and finally found that they sell a 0-cal drink.
Itās refreshing. Itās loaded with vitamins. It looks pretty. Itās free under my meal plan. Best of all...itās 0 calories. Bless up.
I hope yāall are having a good night.
[Rant/Rave] My weight loss was noticed. [RAVE]
/u/NachoVodka
Created: Thu Aug 30 18:33:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bozo7/my_weight_loss_was_noticed_rave/
---
My girl crush was taken aback when she saw me, last weekend. While she didn't specifically comment on my weight loss, the look on her face showed that she noticed it.
This has only encouraged me to keep doing what I'm doing.
[Discussion] Is anyone else seriously embarrassed with how they used to look?
/u/acrsita
Created: Thu Aug 30 18:32:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bozbs/is_anyone_else_seriously_embarrassed_with_how/
---
I've taken way more pictures of myself while I've been suffering from an eating disorder, so it's a good tool to validate my weight loss to myself. I have real troubles with memory, I don't even really know when or why my eating disorder relapsed (though it was this year) so I can never go off of memory alone to truly believe I'm skinnier. I just use bodychecks and other people's concern.
But today I was going through my camera roll, to last year when I was truly recovered and carefree about food. There were a few casual pictures of me on there, and
Oh.
My.
God.
I know objectively I wasn't 'fat'? I was chubby at most. But HOW was I okay with that? HOOOWWW could I leave the house with those arms on show?? It genuinely makes me never want to recover, because I know I'll get back into old (normal) habits, and I know I'll look like that again. I was at most around 8kg heavier, but it's ridiculous how ashamed I am of those pictures.
Another thing, I had a boyfriend at that weight! Twice! How could anyone genuinely be attracted to that? It embarrasses the hell out of me that that's the me they must remember. It just makes me so, so incredibly ashamed to have even, existed at that size.
It makes this hell feel worth it, somehow. Or at least it does right now.
Bulimia makes me feel disgusting
/u/ribcage666 [5'8.5" | bmi 21.2 | -62 lbs | F šæ]
Created: Thu Aug 30 18:21:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bowom/bulimia_makes_me_feel_disgusting/
---
I've been 120 lbs and I've been 220 lbs. I gained 20 lbs recently and I live in constant fear of bingeing until I reach my high weight again. I know I don't look bad but I know I'm fat and I constantly worry that my bf will think I'm fat and leave me, or the people around me will think I've let myself go.
It doesnt help that I do still binge maybe once a week. I find that I'm my most stable when I eat regular vegan/wholefood meals but after bingeing my natural compulsion is to purge and starve the next day. But I know that cycle only makes me sick and sad and doesnt even result in weight loss. I'm trying to recover and that cycle won't help anything.
So now I'm sitting here after lowkey bingeing (a buddha bowl, tofu "chicken nuggets" with dip+coleslaw, 3/4 a pan of no bake squares and a slice of vegan cheesecake. Everything inside of me says to purge, I feel so disgustingly full. I don't want to purge. I'll look even fatter tomorrow from water weight and swollen glands. But I can't be fat again. Fuck
All I want is to be thin. All I want is to be small. I feel so fucking lost.
If anyone has kind words or wisdom to share I could use it :(
Fuck it.
/u/taikutsuu [5'9'' | cw: 120 | 17.2 bmi | gw: 110 | 18f]
Created: Thu Aug 30 18:20:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bowj6/fuck_it/
---
I'm at my lowest weight ever. I wear a smaller pants size than my 14 year old sister, I weigh less than her, at over 10 cm taller. These past few months have been utter hell.
This won't be the first time I'm trying, and it will certainly not be the last, but I'm getting sushi tomorrow. Fuck calories. Fuck anorexia. Awful shit like eating disorders deserve to be fought, and to be defeated. I'm going to kick Ana's ass.
[Discussion] DAE feel a compulsive need to do shitty pro-ana diets?
/u/tseokii [BMI 19.8 | 19F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 18:14:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bouuv/dae_feel_a_compulsive_need_to_do_shitty_proana/
---
hi i think this is the first time i've ever made a thread on reddit.
i saw these shitty restrictive diets floating around on pro-ana tumblr when i first started developing ED behaviors but i never did them. OR i never stuck to them longer than a day and gave up
but at some point i saw a couple and they just- they're stuck to me. i have to succeed. i have to live on tea and apples and rice cakes because that's what a stupid image on the internet suggested to me.
i don't know. i think it might be a more OCD thing than an ED thing but the idea won't leave me alone, no matter how many times i fail.
i want to lose weight. it's important to me. but this isn't the best way to lose weight. this is a terrible way to lose weight. but i have to.
probably no one can relate so please just leave me some encouragement haha
[Rant/Rave] My stepdad only made enough food for himself
/u/Doctordoomduck
Created: Thu Aug 30 17:58:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9boqqc/my_stepdad_only_made_enough_food_for_himself/
---
Itās not that I would have eaten anyway, but he made deep fried shrimp and a small bowl of buttered asparagus. Only enough for himself so neither I or my mom can enjoy any of it. It pisses me off, both of us were home and I would have been so easy to just double the recipe so we all could have eaten.
Now I want to go out and bring back food just to spite him. Buy my mom a steak or something.
I think my boss found my reddit account
/u/sagittorius
Created: Thu Aug 30 17:58:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9boqnb/i_think_my_boss_found_my_reddit_account/
---
You guys...
I posted a thread in a sub pertaining to my line of work about my perceived failure in my position at my company, asking for advice from experienced internet strangers in my field. My complaints were general enough, though specific to my situation, and I didnāt divulge my location, but I did mention my role in the company and that I feel like Iām not receiving any mentoring - plus some info about my length of time in my role & my output stats.
Soooooo, today my boss spent 5 hours mentoring me and addressed like 100% of the concerns outlined in my thread. If I were a normal person I would be stoked that my boss cares about me and doesnāt consider me an incompetent fuck-up.
But Iām not normal. Iām a woman with an eating disorder.
Throughout the mentoring session I made small comments about how I feel incompetent and may have apologized profusely for my lack of results. At the end of the day he told me that he has never thought that Iām incompetent and I responded that I just engage in a lot of self-talk, to which he replied āYeah, Iāve noticed.ā
If he saw the post in the other sub, he probably clicked on my account and read all of my other posts and comments, many/most of which are in the proEd community.
Plus side: our mentoring session allowed me to skip lunch š¤
Even if this is all in my mind, I feel like a piece of shit. Iāve been purging at work (in the womenās bathroom on our floor that I share with 2 women from other companies), and amazing boss brought in fizzy electrolyte supplements, which I hope is purely coincidental.
HOW CAN HE KNOW?!?! š³šššš
Dr. Is threatening hospitalization
/u/edcody729
Created: Thu Aug 30 17:57:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9boqf4/dr_is_threatening_hospitalization/
---
So I've been really honest with my doc lately as I do want to get better, but in the last month I have lost 16 pounds. Because of this my doctor is threatening to send me to the hospital if I don't maintain my weight by my next appointment. I don't think it's possible to maintain right now. I'd have to increase my calories by over 1000 and I just can't do that all at once. I'm not underweight at this point. I'm 5'1 and 113 lbs the only thing that was off on my bloodwork was that my glucose was low. Can he force me into the hospital without my consent if I'm not really sick?
[Rant/Rave] Iām petty, and I get jealous that more people comment on my boyfriendās weight loss than mine.
/u/chezpajama
Created: Thu Aug 30 17:56:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9boqcy/im_petty_and_i_get_jealous_that_more_people/
---
So my boyfriend has lost a lot of weight since we got together. He was 5ā10 and around 210, and now heās around 180.
To clarify, Iām not putting my ED logic on him. I cook 90% of our meals and theyāre pretty healthy and I give him normal portions. Sometimes I even make him utter junk [like this](https://instagram.com/p/BjiNbErA1Om/) as a treat.
Weāve actually lost about the same amount of weight, albeit mine has been in 3 months vs almost a year for him. But his just looks so much more dramatic. He gets compliments on it constantly.
Iāve gotten compliments / remarks too, even from other women (the best) but rarely.
My ex husband and I are close friends and he always mentions I look thinner when we get together for lunch. Sometimes it feels like heās the only person close to me who notices.
I feel shitty and vain because I want people to praise me for my weight loss.
Does soda make you more flabby?
/u/finnkat [5'3 | 90lbs | 16.4 | 19f]
Created: Thu Aug 30 17:41:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9boma9/does_soda_make_you_more_flabby/
---
I live off of diet soda. Last I weighed I was 92lbs but I have such a flabby tummy and thighs. If I cut out soda and replaced it with water and caffine pills would that help me get a flatter stomach, or does that have more to do with exercise than with diet?
[Rant/Rave] Leave my artificial sweeteners alone
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 17:36:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bol4m/leave_my_artificial_sweeteners_alone/
---
I am SO SICK of the Keto/fitness/diet community bashing on artificial sweeteners and babbling about the nuances and GI and insulin effects of maltodextrin or stevia or whatever. I DO NOT CARE. Let me have this one pleasure in life. Crystal light is not gonna āstall meā or ākick me out of Ketoā if Iām fasting or eating 900 calories a day. Itās like the one thing Iām not afraid of is being threatened and LISTEN I am ready to go to war for it.
[Help] Hair loss
/u/crankyhedgiebutt
Created: Thu Aug 30 17:23:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bohhs/hair_loss/
---
Iāve noticed my hair is at its thinnest itās ever been, itās scary thin. I guess itās from stress/ restriction. Iāve read that your hair growth is two or three months behind on reacting to nutrition. This summer I ate mainly celery, carrots, cucumbers, and spinach with only a little chicken. So maybe thatās it? What should I do? Iāve started multivitamins and biotin gummies. As well as probiotics.
Iāve been eating 700 calories a day for a couple weeks now is that too high?
/u/beeeleave
Created: Thu Aug 30 17:15:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bof0h/ive_been_eating_700_calories_a_day_for_a_couple/
---
[Other] Someone tell my stomach to shut it.
/u/ohdarlingyourefucked
Created: Thu Aug 30 17:12:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9boe9u/someone_tell_my_stomach_to_shut_it/
---
*stomach growls*
Me: āReally? I just fed you a filling 200cal dinner...ā
*growls again*
Me: āYouāre not hungry, just fat.ā
[Other] Oh no!
/u/NovANDP [5'4" | 166 lb | 28.5 | 15 lb | Trying]
Created: Thu Aug 30 17:10:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bodno/oh_no/
---
https://i.redd.it/019s60mnbbj11.png
Some days I feel like I'm just a walking life support system for my giant ass
/u/asunshinefix
Created: Thu Aug 30 16:41:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bo5l9/some_days_i_feel_like_im_just_a_walking_life/
---
I had to buy pants today and it only confirmed what I already knew. Fuck pants. Fuck having a body honestly. I just want to float around as a disembodied assless consciousness.
I donāt want your god damn muffins
/u/BladderPatrol
Created: Thu Aug 30 16:30:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bo330/i_dont_want_your_god_damn_muffins/
---
My semi-boss is always baking things to make herself feel good and then she brings them in to share with everyone. Everyone at work thinks itās the sweetest thing but EVERY time I feel so awkward because I never take them. Once she baked a cake and expected everyone to take a huge slice for breakfast!!! (I took one and discretely threw it away later) I always refuse what she makes as politely as possible (I just ate, I donāt eat sugar, sugar this early will upset my stomach, etc) but she never seems to grasp what it boils down to: I donāt want your god damn muffins.
[Other] Checking out other people at the gym...
/u/Brookie696
Created: Thu Aug 30 16:19:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bo0kp/checking_out_other_people_at_the_gym/
---
DAE look at people at the gym with more muscle/ booty/ weight in general, and youāre like I wish I could look like that. And like literally everyone checks them out. But when you look at yourself all you can see is way too much fat??? Like even if youāre the skinniest person I the gym or even slightly underweight??? I hate that I feel like I could never carry my weight like these girls. Idk.
[Discussion] Feeling okay!
/u/softdyke
Created: Thu Aug 30 16:03:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bnx18/feeling_okay/
---
Hello I am happy and am just about to have a cup of tea and have managed not to eat today I hope u are all good!
[Help] You guys please help. I was purging and really hurt the back of my throat.
/u/missyou0111
Created: Thu Aug 30 14:57:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bnh1x/you_guys_please_help_i_was_purging_and_really/
---
The back of my throat / esophagus really hurts, with some inflammation and maybe a little blood.
I know I should be okay, just need to rest my throat, but please I need words of reassurance. Tell me Iām gonna be okay.
[Rant/Rave] I was genuinely happy today
/u/ash_alah
Created: Thu Aug 30 14:56:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bngpw/i_was_genuinely_happy_today/
---
So last week i got an email from spotify with an invitation to hang out with pretty much my favourite artist ever while heās practicing with his band for his upcoming tour. It was today and there were only like 20 ppl and its amazing that i was one of them. He complimented my hair and i got a pic with him(i look fat but i dont even care). There was food but i didnt touch it. Im doing so well with restricting, i bought new jeans on monday and tbh i couldve gotten them one size smaller and idk i just had to share this with u. I dont know the last time i was genuinely happy but i was today and im really glad
Gained 5 pounds in a week. This is me dealing
/u/KatIsFab [157 cm | HW: 64 | CW: 56.40 | BMI: 22.88 | GW: 55 | F |]
Created: Thu Aug 30 14:54:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bng7l/gained_5_pounds_in_a_week_this_is_me_dealing/
---
https://i.redd.it/0ojw7nzcnaj11.jpg
[Goal] I just fit into another piece of goal clothing š
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Thu Aug 30 14:53:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bng4n/i_just_fit_into_another_piece_of_goal_clothing/
---
I've had this business skirt in my wardrobe for...I'll say four years...that I never wore because it was too small. Like too small to zip up. But now it fits and I'm so freaking pleased with myself and this proves that everything is worth it and sometimes you are the winner š
What is it you do to avoid eating out of boredom? Activities, rituals, what do you do?
/u/sundown73
Created: Thu Aug 30 14:45:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bndxf/what_is_it_you_do_to_avoid_eating_out_of_boredom/
---
It doesn't matter if a food is "so filling" because when I'm in binge mode I continue to eat even when my tummy is beyond full and painful.
/u/FIREAccountOnly
Created: Thu Aug 30 14:43:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bnd5t/it_doesnt_matter_if_a_food_is_so_filling_because/
---
"So filling" things only help if your binging isn't emotional. When I'm binging I eat "filling" foods. Doesn't help when I just want to shove anything in my mouth. I eat things that don't even taste good, then I figure, since I'm already in a binge, I might as well eat food that does taste good. Then the salty/sweet cycle starts. And it usually ends with me trying to eat something "healthy" to make up for it while knowing I should just fucking stop eating. My tummy was full halfway through this... My dumb ass kept eating anyway š¤¦š»āāļø
[Rant/Rave] my boobs :(
/u/pringlesbutthole [6ā0|CW:118|BMI:16|20]
Created: Thu Aug 30 14:41:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bncrw/my_boobs/
---
My tits are like GONE theyāve shrunk so much during this relapse :ā( Even at my lowest weight of 113 I was like a 30 DD-DDD now at 118 Iām probably around a small C cup and Iām so mad!! I donāt have a booty so Iābe been counting on my boobs to get me by and now I donāt even have any! My ex said I looked like an anime girl bc they were so disproportionate from the rest of my body lmaooo Iām just really bummed out tbh. Out of everything, including hair falling out and my skin turning to shit this is the biggest downside tbh :ā(( rest in peace to my boobs </3 until we meet again ...
[Rant/Rave] So Far In That My Disorder Feels Normal
/u/Hippiethecat124
Created: Thu Aug 30 14:19:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bn60g/so_far_in_that_my_disorder_feels_normal/
---
I've been struggling with self-loathing, garbage body image, and a terrible relationship with food since I was really young. I remember having to draw/describe myself for a class project when I was about 9 and describing myself as "chubby." I've never been clinically obese, but I've almost always been overweight.
The past few years I started reading more and more about eating disorders and found that its symptoms fit almost verbatim with what goes through my mind everyday. Counting calories, skipping meals, trying to exercise until I feel like I'm going pass out, crying for hours and triggering a depressive episode after shopping for school clothes and feeling like a whale... It's been such a regular part of my life that I have a hard time thinking of it as a disorder and not just how I am - how I'm supposed to be.
And even in the face of hard science, knowing that 1,000 calories or under a day is technically bordering on starvation, I count them religiously. *I can't eat that bread, it'll put me over too much.* *Can I eat dinner tonight? Did those chips put me over?* I feel like I can't eat the recommended 2,000 cals a day because my body won't process it correctly and I'll gain weight. I see pictures of chubby girls and while I say to them and think to myself that they're brave and bold and beautiful, I see the dimples on my thighs and the fat on my stomach and want to cut it all off.
This is my first post here, and I haven't really talked to anyone about it. People in my life know I have a bad self-image, but they refuse to call it an ED, especially since I'm still overweight. I don't know if anyone will read this, and I hope it doesn't upset or trigger bad feelings for anyone. I just needed to vent about a daily struggle that I feel like no one in my life truly comprehends.
Just binged.
/u/elsacouchnaps
Created: Thu Aug 30 14:05:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bn1l5/just_binged/
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Ugh, I feel like shit. It always happens so quick. I raided the vending machine at work...ate roughly 2000 calories in 20 minutes. Fuck. I hate this life. Please let me be strong enough to avoid eating anything else for the rest of the night. Iām going to take my dog for at least an hour long walk later tonight to help burn some extra calories. But I know Iām going to fucking gain. Ughhh. Hope everyone else is having a better day!
[Discussion] DAE want to get sicker?
/u/sun_divine [5'3" | CW 105 | GW under 100 | TM]
Created: Thu Aug 30 13:13:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bmlig/dae_want_to_get_sicker/
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I'm pretty close.. if I lose like 10 more pounds my BMI will be about 17 and I guess I'll be a "real anorexic" then. I want my period to stop and I want my hair to fall out and I want to pass out in the middle of class.
I guess maybe I just want people to recognize how badly I'm hurting instead of congratulating me on being borderline underweight? I dunno. I've never really talked about this.
[Discussion] Friend ignored me during school open house and i was hit with a reality
/u/eighttorches [5'2 | 15 from goal | F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 13:07:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bmjj1/friend_ignored_me_during_school_open_house_and_i/
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I've lost all my friends to depression and my ed. It just motivates me to keep going deeper into it so maybe ive been subconsciously wanting this my whole time, but my eating disorder is my only real friend now. Ive been ghosting everyone for so long im sure nobody cares anynore. Maybe if i look sick enough ill have an excuse and they'll feel sorry and want to talk to me again. God im so fucked up. Does anyone else here have no friends? The loneliness is catching up to me and i want to know if anyone else can relate. Sorry.
[Rant/Rave] I thought clothing sizes didn't bother me :D:D they do
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 152 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -10 Lost | f21]
Created: Thu Aug 30 13:00:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bmhc8/i_thought_clothing_sizes_didnt_bother_me_dd_they/
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Birthday is going o.k, Except one of the things I got was a pair of pants. I rarely buy clothes, much less pants so I barely know sizing
My mom was like "I know you were size 12 but you lost weight over the summer so I got you 8s!" They just BARELY fit me, I just remember being a size 2 a couple years ago :/. At the very least they're super nice and I guess I have cute mustard pants to wear while I'm losing weight.
I also got a japanese sewing book and damn those sizes are TINY. I'm just feeling so giant right now It's pretty crumby.
even if i gained 10 pounds i would still be underweight
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 107|16.7|UGW: 103|F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 12:56:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bmg7a/even_if_i_gained_10_pounds_i_would_still_be/
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so why can't i just eat the 70 cal pack of tuna i planned today?
It's getting bad again, boys.
/u/Atsugaruru [4"10 | CW : 126 | 20F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 12:53:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bmfc6/its_getting_bad_again_boys/
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CW: This might be a little gross and unsanitary, but I feel like if anyone will understand what I'm going through, it's you guys.
I'm stupid and this morning at 5 am I triggered myself. I skipped class and bought a baguette that was over a foot long to binge on. A little over halfway into the binge I was like "Hey... I don't have to do this." and put the rest of the baguette into the garbage. I've been known to eat food out of the garbage before, so I made sure to put it on top of one of my dog's pee pads to make sure I wouldn't be tempted.
But guess what? I didn't care that it was contaminated with my dog's pee, I *needed* to binge. I started crying and almost ate the pee bread. So I poured a liquid cleaner onto the baguette to make sure I wouldn't eat it. And I cried some more because I *still* wanted to eat it.
Any normal person would be disgusted at just the thought of eating food out of the garbage, let alone food smeared with dog piss. I feel so stupid and crazy. I hate being like this.
[Goal] Wow, I decided I was going to do it for sure this time and I guess I wasnāt lying. I canāt believe I actually completed a 24+ hour fast.
/u/IsAFailure [~5'6 | Last known weight: 107~]
Created: Thu Aug 30 12:29:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bm7hx/wow_i_decided_i_was_going_to_do_it_for_sure_this/
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I just broke it at 36~ hours with 3 shrimp, green beans, a hush puppy, and some batter crumbs at around 430~cal. Now Iāve got plenty of room to stay under 1,000 at dinner and probably start another fast tomorrow.
I guess weighing in at 117 Monday night screwed with me enough.
[Rant/Rave] I'll never look normal
/u/escapecord
Created: Thu Aug 30 12:27:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bm74m/ill_never_look_normal/
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I was obese in childhood and around 200 lbs at my highest weight. I remember being yelled at from cars driving past "you're the fattest person I've ever seen" and "join a gym fatty". My cw is 118 and I genuinely look like the Pale Man from Pan's Labrynth. I doubt I'll ever be able to afford the extensive surgery needed to fix my saggy disgusting body. I have the breasts of an old woman, I can gather my stomach in my hands, there's a flaps of skin hanging from my upper arms. My body is so confusing and disproportionate that my ex literally thought I was still obese. I will literally never look skinny. I completely missed out on being pretty because of decisions I made as a child. :') When I'm clothed I get described as tiny, and petite. Ha! I'm not a skinny person I'm a fat person who lost weight. Once someone saw my chest and asked "what happened".
Anyone else start from a high weight without being prepared for the excess skin?
[Help] Are there any ārestrictingā weight loss estimators on the web?
/u/ineedalifeee
Created: Thu Aug 30 12:24:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bm64j/are_there_any_restricting_weight_loss_estimators/
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Like, I would like to calculate how long itād take to lose 10 lbs, averaging 700-800cals a day and being sedentary. All the ones I tried kept saying under 1200 is too unhealthy :(
[Tip] Chilli sauce when you want to binge.
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Thu Aug 30 12:22:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bm5ay/chilli_sauce_when_you_want_to_binge/
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I read about this one online. I don't have much of a stomach for spice but just tried it and wont be eating anything but ice tonight.
[Rant/Rave] Saggy Pants
/u/2worried2care [5'6" | CW 122.4 lb | BMI 19.8| 26F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 12:20:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bm4ua/saggy_pants/
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Iāve been going to school full-time for the past year and havenāt been able to work very much because of it. School is coming to an end so Iām working 3 days this week. This morning I tried to put on 5 different pairs of work pants and every single one was so big that they sagged off me. I havenāt really noticed this with any of my jeans, probably because skinny jeans are so clingy anyway, so I was really shocked. I ended up wearing a pair anyway because I couldnāt find anything else and several people have noticed. Itās exciting but also annoying because I definitely canāt afford to buy new work clothes right now so I donāt know how Iām going to make this work.
Then I went to Target to buy a pair of shorts because Iām going out later and I fit into a size 0! That hasnāt happened in YEARS and Iām sure the sizing is weird because Iām definitely not that small but there was still something exciting about it.
I gained 10 lb while on vacation
/u/ButterflyThin [66" | 177 | 28.68 | -73 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 12:02:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9blz60/i_gained_10_lb_while_on_vacation/
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I know I can't have gained 10lb really but the weight just will not come off. I was 175 when I left and the scale refuses to budge under 181. I was only gone for 5 days and averaged about 2700 calories a day (which is a ton but not 10 lb over 5 days). I've been home for 3 days and the scale keeps fluctuating between 185 and 181 and it is making me crazy.
Opportunity to work out at work! Advice?
/u/PM_ME_BrusselSprouts [5'3" | CW: 165 | BMI: 30.0 | 33, F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 11:05:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9blgj1/opportunity_to_work_out_at_work_advice/
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I work alone and usually have about 20-40 minutes several times a day where I can work out. I am already dirty and sweaty from work and in exercise clothes (more or less). I have 60 lbs to lose and my thighs are enormous so I tend not to want to run/do squats which has bulked them in the past. I can bring any small equipment I need (yoga mat, dumbbells), I have access to outside stairs, some room outside (on good days), mostly just a 10x7 dirty room. Watching YT videos would be hard (but I could memorize them?), a DVD situation could be possible, a book would be fine.
I don't eat until about 10 hours into my shift (I do IF) and so I don't want to get too hungry. I have worked out fasted before and I believe it leads to quicker fat loss, but anything too strenuous and I do get pretty hungry.
tl;dr: Need a quick, simple 20 minute workout for fatloss that won't make me hungry.
So tempted to start purging - help!
/u/alysiakw
Created: Thu Aug 30 10:57:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ble1m/so_tempted_to_start_purging_help/
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I'm not a purger. Strictly restriction/fasting- I'm on hour 42 of a fast now, no problem. But I'm visiting my mom this weekend. My mom, who shows love with food. Who will be watching me like a hawk to see if I eat, to see what I eat, and when and how much. I'm doing so well losing weight... so, so well. But I feel like this weekend I'll be forced into a backslide. And my dumb ED brain keeps telling me that I can eat in front of my mom and then just get rid of it all. Other people do it all the time, why not me?
I don't know why I'm posting this. I just feel really overwhelmed and I don't want to slip further down this rabbit hole. Help?
Anyone else always sick?
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 10:52:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9blcbo/anyone_else_always_sick/
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I used to get sick a lot when I was in h/s (peak of my disorder) well I've relapsed off and on since then and i noticed whenever I'm restricting or fasting, I'm constantly sick. The past three days i had a tickle throat and slight cough, but now I'm full blown sneezing, sniffling, and all around dying. I am scared to take vitamins because usually if i dont eat with them I'll throw up. Idk if its stress, or if i could be deficient after only 2 weeks of relapse. Oh well, i have no appetite right now. Fasting motivation it is, nothing but water and powerade zero.
Just Gonna Leave This Here and Feel More Guilt
/u/MrsBluebeard [5'4" | 96 lbs. | 16.8 | UGW- 90 lbs. | Bee]
Created: Thu Aug 30 10:48:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9blb39/just_gonna_leave_this_here_and_feel_more_guilt/
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https://i.redd.it/l10pmn8ot6j11.png
[Discussion] DAE get high key triggered by junk food?
/u/happy_but_unhappy [5'9 |CW 118.8 | 17.5 | GW 110]
Created: Thu Aug 30 10:41:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bl8z0/dae_get_high_key_triggered_by_junk_food/
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Recently I've been getting so triggered from junk food (doesn't stop me from eating it though does it eugh). Like my anxiety goes through the roof looking at it.. smelling it... eating it? Or watching those tv shows of obese people eating junk? It makes me want to be sick it makes me so damn upset? Please tell me I'm not alone
[Rant/Rave] *sad whale noises"
/u/throwaway002300 [25F | 5ā3 | CW 102 | BMI 18 | GW ???]
Created: Thu Aug 30 10:36:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bl7dl/sad_whale_noises/
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I'm so disappointed in myself y'all. This time last year I was breaking goal weights, losing like crazy and had total control over what went into my body. Now I'm sleep walking and eating whole jars of peanut butter, or b/ping without planning ahead; I'm eating during the day and some days I'm lax on counting calories. Sometimes I even eat and don't purge afterward.
What. The. Eff. Where has my motivation gone? I have to wear a swimsuit like every weekend for some reason or other, plus we are going on a week long cruise for our anniversary in October. This is not okay!
I need to get my shit back together soon, my rigidity to all these crazy rules was the only thing to help me succeed. I need to just suck it up and get back on it before I gain any more weight.
Sorry for the rant I just had to get this off my chest and hold myself accountable for sabotaging all the hard work I accomplished, just to throw it away right when I need to look my absolute best...I'm just super frustrated and I feel like a gross whale.
For my fellow drunkorexics
/u/MistrrrOrgasmo [5'9" | HW: 191lbs | CW: 168lbs | GW: 135 lbs | BMI: 25 | 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 10:27:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bl4j4/for_my_fellow_drunkorexics/
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https://i.redd.it/tptlt20ub9j11.jpg
Error at the juice shop
/u/Amoryed
Created: Thu Aug 30 10:10:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bkyzi/error_at_the_juice_shop/
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So what I usually do when I want to semi fast for 3 days is Iāll get this pack of 7 juices (for $40) that are meant for a one day cleanse and drink them over 3 days right
I ordered it on Grubhub for pickup and the cashier was getting like three bags of cleanses for what I assumed were different customers
I told them what my order was and picked up just one of the bags and thanked them but then they were like āall of them are yoursā
So i said oh ok thanks and left absentmindedly but I didnāt realize until like 3 seconds later that I have 2x the amount now and i can fast for even longer !!
thank you juice shop for fueling my ed habits lmao
https://cdn.pbrd.co/images/HBAz4kP.jpg
Benefits of the Occasional 'Binge'
/u/funnyhappygirl123
Created: Thu Aug 30 09:58:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bkv64/benefits_of_the_occasional_binge/
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Hi all! I've been restricting for a while (dropped 10 pounds in over a month), but was recently alarmed by my lack of bowel movements (TMI, sorry!). So this Tuesday, I decided to eat 'normally'. Well, normally kinda turned into a binge; I ate way over my TDEE, but it was all healthy, good stuff (eggs, wheat toast, rice, fish, pistachio biscuits, dried fruits/nuts, dark chocolate). I then heavily restricted yesterday (around 300 calories). I didn't weigh myself yesterday out of fear, but weighed myself today morning--and I actually dropped some weight! So here are the benefits of an occasional binge:
1. It actually does break a weight loss plateau--I had been stuck at the same weight for a while, but think that my metabolism is finally speeding up
2. I had a couple bowel movements--which is great, because I lost weight through that, too
3. My parents saw me eat more than them, so if they see me losing weight they won't blame my ED
4. I got most of my healthier cravings out of the way.
Let me know what you all think!
[Rant/Rave] New boy, new triggers
/u/jmiles00
Created: Thu Aug 30 09:43:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bkqfh/new_boy_new_triggers/
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I've recently started seeing a guy who's a lot- I would estimate 25-ish lbs smaller than me. He's all collar bones and hip bones and everything I want to be. I've never been with someone smaller than me and as if sex/being naked/being vulnerable with someone else wasn't already difficult ENOUGH as it is, now I get to be reminded of what a fucking mammoth I am anytime I see him. Should I just try to use this as the ultimate irl thinspo??
Can you tone your arms in 2 weeks for a strapless dress?
/u/29THD03Z
Created: Thu Aug 30 09:23:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bkk9m/can_you_tone_your_arms_in_2_weeks_for_a_strapless/
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Asking here cause you guys suprisingly seem to be the most open minded and educated about health and fitness ( so ironic ) . I dont have REALLY bad arm flab, just the regular 170lbs little doughy by the tricep kinda problem?
Rewarding yourself for GWs?
/u/jmiles00
Created: Thu Aug 30 09:16:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bki0y/rewarding_yourself_for_gws/
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I'm curious as to if anyone else has little rewards for themselves assigned to their goals. Mine are:
GW1: New pair of chucks
GW2: I can redye my hair
GW3: Get my next tattoo
I guess I'll come up with more as my goals get smaller and smaller....
So unless I feel like I'm dying, I'm a failure wtf ED???
/u/Bookeisha [182 cm | 57.3 kg | BMI 17.3 | M ]
Created: Thu Aug 30 09:14:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bkhh4/so_unless_i_feel_like_im_dying_im_a_failure_wtf_ed/
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Day 3 of eating at maintenance because you know my heart does weird shit and my body can only take so much abuse for so long
However the bloatness I'm experiencing is seriously making me dysphoric. I can just feel all the water I'm retaining and I hate it so much
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel sad when theyāre lighter than their license weight?
/u/EDthrowaway8888 [5'6 | 142 | 22.9 | -24 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 08:55:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bkbpv/dae_feel_sad_when_theyre_lighter_than_their/
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I mean, itās obvious a great thing, but Iām now 27ish lbs lighter than my license weight and that fucker is going to be immortalized until 2026. FML.
[Rant/Rave] Korean Noraebang (ė
øėė°©) is where you find me alone scream crying and singing to Skinny Love. Sometimes the social stigma is too much for me here and I moved here after years of BED and purging. My recovery is in shambles.
/u/ueno_stn_54 [5'3|CW220|GW140|N/A|23F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 08:32:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bk4la/korean_noraebang_ė
øėė°©_is_where_you_find_me_alone/
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https://i.redd.it/8iuhhshbr8j11.jpg
[Discussion] What's your September resolution?
/u/audreyhepburnwho [25F | 5'8 | cw 159 | hw 196 | sw 172 | lw 150 | ugw 145]
Created: Thu Aug 30 08:26:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bk2qj/whats_your_september_resolution/
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They say it takes 21 days to break or create a habit. For pisses of shit like me im gonna go ahead and round that up to a month.
I am not bingeing this month, i sweat on my damn life.
Things you do because of your ED that others would be confused by
/u/lexielou48 [5'9 | 125 |BMI: 18 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 08:16:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bjzsx/things_you_do_because_of_your_ed_that_others/
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For me it's my roommates hearing my shower turn on at random times throughout the day because I'm busy purging
Counting out things one by one like chips or nuts for portion control instead of just grabbing a handful
Spending hours grocery shopping while comparing nutrition labels and constantly putting food back on the shelves and swapping for something else
Risking skin cancer and tanning because it makes you look thinner
Alternatively, loving your pale sickly skin and accentuating it with even paler makeup and using makeup to draw attention to your under eye circles and hollow cheeks.
Youtube playlist being: Thin documentary, Skinny Love by Bon Iver, My 600lb life, Mukbangs, Dr. Phil talks to anorexic twins, supersize v superskinny, yoga tutorials, 4st 7lb, Eugenia Cooney, and what i eat in a day videos.
Eating and drinking everything out of oversized mugs so that your hands/body looks very smol in comparison
Wearing big shoes/boots and an oversized shirt with tight leggings to make legs look thinner
"binging" on foods like Halo Top and Quest bars
Having an account on Myproana
Reasearching Mila Kunis' Black Swan diet and being insanely jealous
Porn search history: Very skinny girl gets fucked hard
Meeting someone irl with an ED and weirdly being competitive about who is more messed up
Feeling hungry so taking a nap to avoid eating
Secretly loving it when someone asks you to please eat something because it means they have noticed you not eating, even though them asking you isn't going to actually make you eat
Having fear foods
Being very skeptical of the FDA and how they label foods for calories
Weighing yourself at least 5 times a day and being insanely happy when you lose a pound and wanting to jump off a cliff when you gain a pound
Conflicted because you want to buy your clothes in XS or S because they'll fit you and that makes you proud,but also wanting to buy clothes in a L or XL because it will be baggy on you, thus making you look smaller
----> Y'all are amazing and I hope that each of you have a wonderful day and find new ways to love and appreciate yourself.
You're not alone <3
[Other] Until we meet again...
/u/KattyWampus666 [:karma:163cm | SW: 123kg CW: 93kg GW: ? | 27F:karma:]
Created: Thu Aug 30 08:15:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bjzig/until_we_meet_again/
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Hey folks.
Im giving recovery a real shot this time. Im terrified of passing this ED demon on to my daughter. With therapy Im hoping that I can really do this. Ive ditched my fitbit and slowing down with MyFitnessPal for now, going to try to lose weight with intuitive eating and portion control. Maybe doing this will slow down the binge eating. I can only hope eh! I still have approximately 60lbs to lose as I am still quite obese (5'4" and just over 200lbs).
<3 I wish every single one of you ALL THE HAPPY THINGS. And thank you so much for being here throughout this struggle, I may be in and out to vent but for now I am unsubscribed. I love you guys. <3
If anyone has any tips for healthy weight loss Id love to hear them.
[Help] mitigating disaster?
/u/ccyybb
Created: Thu Aug 30 08:11:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bjyem/mitigating_disaster/
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what would you guys do?
i have a buffet lunch on sunday. itās going to be a big old binge, no doubt about it, iāve resigned myself to that (semi-looking forward to it lol)
i usually restrict around 700 cals a day. if you knew you had a binge day coming, would you fast the day before and after it to try and mitigate the effects, or just stick with your normal restriction?
Working in food helps me not eat
/u/impkidz
Created: Thu Aug 30 08:10:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bjy1e/working_in_food_helps_me_not_eat/
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Being a barista and seeing how much sugar/syrups and calories being poured into each drink helps me fight the urge to drink/eat anything sugary or high cal. anymore. It really almost grosses me out to watch people gulp down almost inches-high of syrups and "flavors" that just clog up and stay in your body... It makes me afraid that even a small cup of it would never burn off. I can't stand to have more than an occasional sip from all that mess. Anybody else bothered by food when you work with it?
Difficult day
/u/cherryxnut
Created: Thu Aug 30 07:52:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bjsvg/difficult_day/
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Iāve been bingeing all day. I donāt keep bad food in the house, so Iāve been eating veggie burgers, vegetables, low cal kids yoghurts... all my safe food basically cause I was so hungry. Iāve been with this disease for 10 years. I need to stop bingeing. My stomach hurts, my eyes hurts, Iām shaking, blood sugar is low. Anyone able to help me stop bingeing right now?
I think my chicken soup has upset my stomach...
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Thu Aug 30 07:37:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bjow6/i_think_my_chicken_soup_has_upset_my_stomach/
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Yesssss!
(Is that bad that I think that)
The happiest I was with my eating was when I was made to fast before giving birth
/u/Solidly-secretive
Created: Thu Aug 30 06:58:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bjecr/the_happiest_i_was_with_my_eating_was_when_i_was/
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I was being induced because my baby was gigantic.
I was on pitocin for 3 days, cycling up and down twice before my c section. I couldn't have anything other than clear liquids that entire time, plus over a day after giving birth.
I wasn't hungry at all. It was the easiest fast I've ever done. Maybe because of the 12 pound baby that was about to be cut out of me.
I'm constantly trying to get back to that contented fast. It's my dream to experience it again.
I just wanted to get that out.
God coffee is amazing
/u/not-creative-enough-
Created: Thu Aug 30 06:55:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bjdf6/god_coffee_is_amazing/
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I stopped drinking coffee for a couple weeks trying to quit my caffeine addiction cause of headaches (lol went at most 1 day without caffeine). Anyway, I started drinking coffee again and it kills my appetite and makes me slightly nauseous, I love it!!!
What happens when you can't stop
/u/ydboy
Created: Thu Aug 30 06:23:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bj5gp/what_happens_when_you_cant_stop/
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I'm so numb right now. I've lost every bit of care I had for my health and I don't know where it's gonna be 1 month, 2 months.... 3 months from now. Binge-restrict cycles were what plagued me for so long and I've finally broken it and at first it frightened me how easy it was and now I'm not so sure. I've started medication for a world of other problems and it just so happens that it kills my appetite. I haven't eaten over 300 calories in 2 weeks sometimes not at all. I just keep losing hair but I keep ignoring it because it's in my carpet and I can't see it... but it's a mess when I shower. I keep waking up with strange bruises on my legs where I've only just sat on. I know these are all typical signs of health issues associated with eds but I feel like I'm just floating in the ocean. I've kind of lost this obsessive want to become "beautiful" but in place of that I've become so indifferent to myself. I don't care about anything that's happening to me now.
But even if I don't care despite the no appetite I'm forcing further restriction upon myself. I keep telling myself to not eat, that I can't eat until later. I don't take any supplements, I don't even know where to start anymore. I don't know how long my body will keep up if this restriction continues. I can't bring myself to eat above because I feel illogical failure. I feel like everything has fizzled away and what was *I want to lose weight and be skinny for once so I can wear nice things* became *I just want to waste away*.
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support August 30, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 30 06:11:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bj2jn/weekly_emotional_support_august_30_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! August 30, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 30 06:10:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bj2as/daily_food_diary_august_30_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 30, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
gained after fasting
/u/pipercloe
Created: Thu Aug 30 06:07:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bj1jf/gained_after_fasting/
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i fasted all day yesterday, like an actual water fast. i didnāt even have diet coke, which i normally do. and i somehow managed to gain a pound after fasting. i GAINED weight after eating nothing. now i just want to lie in bed all day, iām so upset. every day i become more convinced that thereās no actual science to weight loss and that bad things just happen for no apparent fucking reason. someone please kill me.
anyone kinda okay with people calling them fat?
/u/milk_yy [161cm | 77kg | 29.7 | 7kg | F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 05:26:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bis38/anyone_kinda_okay_with_people_calling_them_fat/
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I know it sounds crazy, it hurts me so much to be called fat. It motivates me to do better, and to eat less. I can see myself losing weight more quickly if I accept the fat jokes are because I am fat. If I lose weight then they will stop. Does anyone relate to this?
[Other] when even your manga app knows whatās up ššš
/u/a1sha
Created: Thu Aug 30 04:54:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bil7c/when_even_your_manga_app_knows_whats_up/
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https://i.redd.it/muw6q0fdo7j11.jpg
[Other] lmao
/u/kahmanee [6ā2ā | 180 | 23.1 | 80+ lbs | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 30 04:32:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bigu7/lmao/
---
https://i.redd.it/jhemms4hk7j11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Keen for a binge free September šš¼
/u/narkreturn
Created: Thu Aug 30 03:47:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bi809/keen_for_a_binge_free_september/
---
August destroyed me, constant binging and weight gain. Iām ready to be in control. Food Iām not scared of you anymore. I have the power not you. I choose how much of you I eat. You have nothing on me. Restriction is life. I will not eat until dinner and Iāll eat as little as possible. No more numbers. Iāll be to my goal weight in no time. No more giving up, giving in or feeling guilty/sorry for myself. I have the power and Iām strong and know what Iām doing. Food will no longer be my every train of thought. I will not sit home all day thinking about food. Iām going to move on with my life and eat as little food as possible because I deserve to feel and look good. Fuck you food. Fuck binging. Fuck counting calories. Diet soda and chewys are my saviours. I will accomplish great things this month I will be great at my hobbies and I will be thin. Iāve banned peanut butter, Nutella, dips and packaged snacks (my trigger binge foods). OMAD will be my jam.
and I will no longer fear or lose control over food because I fkn hate food now. I have allowed today to be my last binge because I will never let this happen to myself ever again. I will not purge this binge, I will let myself feel ugly fat and heavy. I will remember how I feel and I will never let myself feel this way again.
This September Iām gonna be a free bitch āš»
[Help] can someone rationally ELI5 weight loss to me, please?
/u/twa1238
Created: Thu Aug 30 03:44:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bi7c5/can_someone_rationally_eli5_weight_loss_to_me/
---
My tdee is around 1900, I think itās a bit higher even but want to be safe.
Everyone says you need to cut around 500 calories a day to lose half a kilo in a week- which would be 3500 calories you cut in a week and make 7000 calories the amount of calories you need to cut for a kilo.
I am eating around 500 calories on an average day, around 800-900 when I have to be more active at work (but I run around a lot on those days), and I usually donāt eat on the weekends (Friday afternoon to Sunday evenings). Sometimes I have to eat more, sometimes I eat less, but overall I am way under my weekly budget.
I donāt exercise because I feel like fainting, but I donāt sit at work, I have to stand most of the time/walk around. I take around 10.000 steps a day besides that.
Iām in week 3 of restricting, my head hurts, I canāt take shits, Iām cold all the time, so I donāt think my tdee magically dropped to 500 calories (I mean I do think that but itās not possible is what I try to tell myself lol) or else Iād be fine right?? (I take my vitamins!)
But I donāt lose as much weight as fast as I SHOULD if this whole 7000cal/Kilo thing was true. Iāve only lost 3,5 kilos and last week my weight fluctuated around a plateau, today I thankfully dropped 200 gram more but I suspect thatās water weight since I took lax yesterday.
Everyday I get the urge to eat less and less I donāt even want to drink water anymore because my scale keeps stressing me out.
I donāt want any tips on how to cut more calories or anything, I just want to understand why I donāt lose more!
BTW Iām not underweight (but would it even make a difference if I were?? I donāt get it)
post for our plateaus !!! [please come in and let's mope together about this]
/u/kittenbun [5'9 | CW 167 | GW 140 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 03:22:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bi34e/post_for_our_plateaus_please_come_in_and_lets/
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welp i've been the same weight (169lb) for 10 days now. there was one glitch in the matrix where i lost 3lb but put it all back on the next day (For No Reason At All) so i'm just not gonna count it. my weekly GW for yesterday was 168lb and next week's is 166lb which i feel i have no chance of hitting now.
do you guys set weekly GWs ? have you had any recent setbacks?
i want sushi SO BAD
/u/taikutsuu [5'9'' | cw: 122 | 17.4 bmi | gw: 110 | 18f]
Created: Thu Aug 30 02:44:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bhwgh/i_want_sushi_so_bad/
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I'm so conflicted. I really want to go to my local sushi buffet (because it's incredibly cost efficient), but I have legit nobody to go with and my ED is quaking. I give myself one day where I don't think about calories every two weeks and this would be it, but going on my own makes me so self conscious and like I don't deserve it. Fucking hell :(
Instagram food diary
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Thu Aug 30 02:21:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bhsna/instagram_food_diary/
---
If you have one, please share it here.
Mine is @skinnikki š
I want to talk to more people!
Relapse, Relapse, Pow!
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:FAT | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Thu Aug 30 01:42:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bhlwj/relapse_relapse_pow/
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Alcoholism aside, I threw away ED thoughts for four months. I gained a little weight. In the healthy range. I was okay with that.
My coworker starts grabbing my fats. And after lunch today it just came over me. I threw it up so naturally. No fingers in the mouth. It came so clean. I don't know how to feel. I want to be skinny again.
[Help] Strange request, but how do you make your face look fuller??
/u/losemore [5'10" | 141b | 20.4 | -39lb | 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 30 00:53:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bhcmi/strange_request_but_how_do_you_make_your_face/
---
So Iāve got a medication review with my psych in 1 week for my ADHD meds, and for obvious reasons I want to hide the sudden weight loss so she doesnāt get suspicious. So far Iāve lost approx 20lbs since I last saw her. Iāve got the outfit part down (formal winter coat, boxy dress and 2 pairs of stockings), but how do I hide the weight loss in my face? I donāt wear makeup on a daily basis and have never worn it before in my past appointments with her, but my face is looking extremely tired and my cheekbones are now sunken in.
So I was thinking, maybe foundation and concealer? Iām at a loss though as to what to do to make it look āfullerā
If anybody has any tips, that would be great.
Cycling through the same six pounds.
/u/Kummerspeck101
Created: Thu Aug 30 00:50:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bhc1o/cycling_through_the_same_six_pounds/
---
Every two or three weeks, it's the same fucking thing. I get to 130 or 132 and then panic and restrict until I get to 126 or 125 and then I go through a period where I panic and purge if I go over 900 calories and then I get tired of purging and so I just let myself eat and then I get back to 130 or 132 and then panic and restrict until I get to 126 or 125 and then I go through a period where I panic and purge if I go over 900 calories and then I get tired of purging so
[Tip] >5 calorie shirley temples!!!!
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5" | CW:127 | GW:115 | lost -72 | 20M]
Created: Wed Aug 29 23:50:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bh0pu/5_calorie_shirley_temples/
---
I accidentally made a drink that tastes exactly like a shirley temple, as far as i can tell... a big cup of Sprite Zero (the best diet soda imo) and Ocean Spray Diet cranberry juice to taste (i use maybe a 4:1 ratio).
​
it's delicious, it totally satisfies by sweet craving, and it's refreshing!
Anyone else binge tonight?
/u/flowertaco
Created: Wed Aug 29 23:22:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bgv03/anyone_else_binge_tonight/
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If so, what did you have? Iāve been going since about 4 pm. I feel like shit.
Iāll start: Oreos with cream taken out and replaced with peanut butter, ruffles, coke, fajitas, pepperoni pizza, frozen burritos topped with refried beans and cheese. Fuuuuck.
Can't stop thinking about food
/u/Moonlight_Unicorn
Created: Wed Aug 29 23:22:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bguwn/cant_stop_thinking_about_food/
---
I'm trying to fast since I'm a fatty since having my son. I can't stop thinking about food though. It consumes every thought I have.
Ugh. Help.
My anxiety attack of the day, someone please comfort me.
/u/anxiety-and-theatre
Created: Wed Aug 29 22:49:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bgnk3/my_anxiety_attack_of_the_day_someone_please/
---
So it was my first day of school and all the girls walked into my medical class. Every one of them are way skinny. The second heaviest one there probably had a BMI of 22 at most. They walked in one at a time and weighed between 90-130 pounds and I wanted to fucking die. How am I supposed to survive in this class if everyone around me is a fucking Barbie Doll?!? And then I saw the scale in the corner. I might get weighed someday this year in class. I was ready to cry right then and there. I got home and cried 3 times since. I want to die, I feel so terrible.
The girls who weighed closer to 130 had that whole, āslim thiccā thing going for them. Everyone was so goddamn perfect and I was there like the fat sack of crap I am. This is the hardest I cried since May.
Ponytails and neck humps
/u/redhotjillypepper
Created: Wed Aug 29 22:47:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bgn6c/ponytails_and_neck_humps/
---
Im 21 and I havent worn a ponytail in public since I was 15. I have this HIDEOUS hump at the top of my back/base of my neck. Im hyperaware of it when Iām walking, sitting, showering, laying down...
the idea of not covering that hump with my hair is anxiety anxiety anxiety. I use this as proof that im not truly pretty even though I feel nice when my hair is down. I feel like I need to drop a 45 lb dumbbell on my back in hopes itll fix the hump.
Does anyone else have this??? It makes me feel so fat and Ive started obsessing over my posture in hopes of making it go away but IT WONT!!!!!
Saw a new therapist today...
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 22:30:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bgjjt/saw_a_new_therapist_today/
---
Obviously I was honest about my ed history and that Iāve been inpatient. She asked me if I was still was maintaining recovery and somewhat healthy eating habits. To which I , 72 hours into a fast, replied āyeah!!!!ā
..... letās see how long I can keep this up lol
[Discussion] Do you start counting cals for a new day at midnight/morning/??
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5" | CW:127 | GW:115 | lost -72 | 20M]
Created: Wed Aug 29 22:15:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bgfyn/do_you_start_counting_cals_for_a_new_day_at/
---
MFP starts counting calories after midnight as the next day, which seems weird. How do you do it? I guess it doesn't really matter either way.
What am I doing wrong!!!!!!!
/u/cutetinytroll
Created: Wed Aug 29 22:01:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bgcpl/what_am_i_doing_wrong/
---
I normally try to eat 1,200 calories max but for the pat 3 weeks Iāve been eating under 1000 calories and not to mention occasionally purging 1 of the meals, if I still feel gross. yet I havenāt dropped any weight!! NOT TO MENTION I look even more bloated than before I donāt know whatās wrong and I feel worse than before
[Discussion] Have you ever thought about what you were trying to solve by binging?
/u/halfcigarette [5'4"| CW: too freaked to check | BMI:20ish | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 21:55:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bgb93/have_you_ever_thought_about_what_you_were_trying/
---
I did today, and it stopped me in my tracks. I donāt know how I havenāt done this before.
I think usually, for me, itās always about stress management or feeling out of control in some form.
I feel like this is the first step towards developing coping mechanisms that arenāt just destructive.
What about you? What usually triggers you/what helps you deal with the root cause of the feeling instead?
Wishing everyone a beautiful Thursday
[Help] I ate 4000 calories today
/u/silverblackbriscoe
Created: Wed Aug 29 21:41:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bg85s/i_ate_4000_calories_today/
---
ššš Wanted to get that off my chest bc I feel guilty and disgusting as fuck. Y I K E S.
Tomorrow has to be better. What do you usually do after a massive binge like this?
Luck with kratom?
/u/Thekillersofficial
Created: Wed Aug 29 21:37:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bg7at/luck_with_kratom/
---
I was googling it for my mom and turns out one of the "bad" "side effects" was weight loss. Anyone use it for that routinely? Ive never tried it but I think i may tonight
[Rant/Rave] Eating while sick: a shit show
/u/sorryqueen [5'3" | 102 | 18.57 | 33lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 21:25:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bg4bm/eating_while_sick_a_shit_show/
---
Iāve had a cold for the past couple of days and have been eating maintenance to try and get better faster. I canāt tell if itās actually doing anything because I still feel awful and itās pissing me off so bad. I have so much anxiety about gaining and itās effecting my work self so hard, which is effecting my anxiety levels. Send healthy thoughts my way I need to not be sick anymore Iām going INSANE.
[Rant/Rave] Haunting Memories
/u/gabebega
Created: Wed Aug 29 21:20:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bg3ap/haunting_memories/
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I am losing weight, I am restricting and I donāt even feel hungry anymore. I feel good. But then I get these memories, those moments that absolutely traumatized me...the time I cried in the dressing room...the time a shitty pseudo psychologist told me I just had a ālittle extra weightā...that ugly picture someone took of me...AND I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING, I FEEL SO ANGRY! stuff that happened a long time ago just popping everytime in my head you know. I am closer and closer fo my goal but these thoughts make me so anxious I immediately check myself on the mirror, I am so afraid of going back to that. Just want to be underweight to be far far away from fat :( feels horrible
[Discussion] What now
/u/createusernamehard
Created: Wed Aug 29 21:03:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bfz4l/what_now/
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I eat literally just to take vitamins and night meds and itās usually like yogurt or a pickle. I lost maybe a pound a day for three entire weeks and now Iām not losing anything. Nothing has changed. I donāt want food. I donāt crave anything. I still hate how I look and getting on the scale makes me feel like such a failure.
[Discussion] anyone else trying not to count calories
/u/aworkinprogress_ [5'6 | 116.4 lbs | BMI 18.8 | UGW 102]
Created: Wed Aug 29 20:44:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bfubo/anyone_else_trying_not_to_count_calories/
---
im still trying to lose but I deleted MFP. Iām so stressed out like I couldāve eaten anywhere from 1000-1600 today and itās driving me crazy. wish me luck :/
Treatment AND underground behaviors
/u/theHBIC [5'2" | CW 190 | GW 110 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 20:42:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bftmc/treatment_and_underground_behaviors/
---
Hey all,
I'm struggling.
I was AN in high school then transitioned to bulimia- I have been bulimic for the last 7 years. I finally fessed up to my boyfriend because I started exploring treatment centers, because I'm honestly ready to be better. That being said, I have some MAJOR barriers:
​
1. Money. Over $20,000 a month for inpatient? WTF?
2. No good providers in my state. I am at the mercy of my insurance provider, who only covers in-state inpatient
3. I teach. How do I take 2-3 months off for the inpatient I KNOW I need in a small town that gossips?
4. My BF wants me to be better. He expressed early on that he wanted me to stop throwing up. I get it. That's the most concerning part of my ED. But he stressed how disappointed he would be if I couldn't stop so I just started throwing up in secret again.
I just feel stuck and want to talk to some people in my shoes. Bulimia makes me feel like a failure; I can't control myself enough to not eat, so instead I need to throw up to undo the damage I do when I eat. I feel out of control and I'm really isolated and struggling.
[Discussion] DAE have a drinking problem?
/u/stella-p96
Created: Wed Aug 29 20:42:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bftlz/dae_have_a_drinking_problem/
---
I had some (probably disordered) eating issues in high school while I was trying to work through depression. Then, late into high school and especially in college, my eating issues became drinking issues. Feeling bad about myself? Drink! Anxious about school/friends/boys? Drink!
I went from my lowest weight (130, 5'11) to my highest weight (170) over the span of 4 years.
To make things worse, my eating issues have newly returned. I'm restricting to less than 300 calories from the hours of 8AM to 7PM, then between 7PM to 10PM I get "drunk" every night. Like 3 drinks is enough to do it now. And I have no idea what my calorie count is like. But I'm certainly not losing any weight this way.
I guess I just feel kinda alone in this. Like how weak do I have to be to ruin all this effort for a buzz?
Meh.
[Rant/Rave] This makes no logical sense
/u/squishysponges [19F|5'5"|GW108]
Created: Wed Aug 29 20:16:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bfmwi/this_makes_no_logical_sense/
---
So Iāve been trying to lose weight the āhealthyā way, having at max 1200 cals a day. Thatās already like a 600-700 cal deficit for me. Iāve been doing this steadily for 2 weeks, averaging 1100 a week, and havenāt even binged! Everything is measured and logged. So why have I gone up 3 pounds :-). I know itās not literally possible and itās probably just water in my fat cells but ffs, how long do I hav etc wait for this whoosh??? It makes me feel like I need to go back to 500 a day.
[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate myself
/u/chained_love
Created: Wed Aug 29 20:10:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bfl7t/i_fucking_hate_myself/
---
I canāt fucking stand looking at my body. I saw myself in a mirror after showering and now Iām in a super shitty mood. I hate the way my body looks. Iām not skinny enough. I hate this.
I really hate this disease, I was doing so good not purging!
/u/not-creative-enough-
Created: Wed Aug 29 19:56:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bfhls/i_really_hate_this_disease_i_was_doing_so_good/
---
I planned to fast today (and probably for the next couple of days) and my boyfriend came over(he knows about my ed and is usually helpful). I avoided food/calories most of the day, then dinner came around and I knew heād be pretty upset if I didnāt eat, so I figured I would eat a little and start my fast over tomorrow, I had burned 200 calories earlier anyway so I should still be under 500, Iād be okay! But like an idiot, after he left I felt like shit about myself and starting binging (more dinner, toast and cottage cheese). Afterwards of course guilt set in and for the first time in months I purged, now I feel like even more shit and just want to die. I could hardly even get anything up which made it so much worse.
School is starting soon and I really wanted to fit into some jeans I have but thatās clearly not going to happen... god i hate myself
[Goal] Starting in September I will lose weight
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | CW 120 | GW 115 | UGW 110/115 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 19:55:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bfhh4/starting_in_september_i_will_lose_weight/
---
Summer has been weird since I was supposedly on that recovery shit, then vacation happened, and Iāve been eating more.
But no more. I will restrict high (800-1200) so I wonāt get cravings and Iāll exercise since my schools gym is opening. And I will get to 110/115. I donāt care what people say. I will weigh myself at least once a week and eat three small meals a day. If anyone wants to join, HMU!
Curse you, delicious bread, you vile demon
/u/WWEisVegan
Created: Wed Aug 29 19:23:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bf8yt/curse_you_delicious_bread_you_vile_demon/
---
Today was the first day of class and I actually hit the goal I had set for this date! And then I ate a bunch of carbs and salt. I know I only ate 675 calories, but I also know I'm gonna step on the scale tomorrow and be back up above my goal, which is gonna make it impossible for me to hit my next one in time. And I've taken laxatives every day for the last three days, so taking more today won't really do much, though I'll probably do it anyway just to punish myself. And then on Friday my mom is coming out to visit and she's got a bunch of local restaurants she wants to go to, so even if I keep calorie-restricting this next week is gonna be water weight hell. It's just so frustrating because even though I hit a major goal, I'm still juuuuust above my wiggle room goal for this weight, which is where I wanted to be by Friday. I fasted yesterday and I really needed today and tomorrow as fasts as well and instead I tore into an unsliced loaf of bread and shoved chunks of it in my face like a fucking starving medieval peasant.
I hit a normal bmi this morning. I'm two pounds from the lowest weight I can remember being, five pounds from the goal I never reached the last time I tried to lose weight, twenty pounds from a safe, normal, healthy weight, halfway to my underweight goal I've had since I was 12. I was in such a good place this morning. And then my friend asked me to bake him bread but only wanted one loaf. There's a reason I don't keep bread in my house, August! There's a reason you had to go out and buy flour!
I know I'm still at a deficit. I know this is a temporary setback. But this is around where I was when I fucked myself up last time and I'm so scared I'll do it again. I'm so close to normal but I could be fat again in a heartbeat and how much bread I eat is gonna be the difference.
[Help] Afraid of asking for Bronkaid
/u/littleblackrainclowd
Created: Wed Aug 29 19:16:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bf7gf/afraid_of_asking_for_bronkaid/
---
Iāve been really wanting to try Bronkaid recently but Iāve been really nervous about asking the pharmacist for it. I have asthma so it wouldnāt be sketchy to ask for any, but it still makes me feel like vomiting whenever I plan to ask and always chicken out. I did see recently that I guess itās not available in every state over the counter, which makes me even more nervous because with how things have been going I can see myself breaking down in tears in the pharmacy (which would be even more mortifying). Does anyone have any experience with this?
[Other] Stop it! Donāt taunt me! š«
/u/ohdarlingyourefucked
Created: Wed Aug 29 19:00:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bf2x8/stop_it_dont_taunt_me/
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https://i.redd.it/mcam0llcq4j11.jpg
[Help] How do you count cake batter licks?!
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 152 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -10 Lost | f21]
Created: Wed Aug 29 18:56:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bf239/how_do_you_count_cake_batter_licks/
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I was helping make my birthday cake mainly so I could weigh and accurately log in the cake Hahaha no rest for the weary. Anyway, I had some batter, maybe 3 tablespoons. Do I log 1/8th of a serving? Add 100 just to be sure? Birthday calories don't count? I'm mildly annoyed how much this bothers me, but I'm dying here.
[Other] What are the staples of your diet currently?
/u/stellazellarozella
Created: Wed Aug 29 18:27:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9beubu/what_are_the_staples_of_your_diet_currently/
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I'm looking for new ideas. I've been eating pretty much the same food for the past three months.
I donāt understand what it is about me that makes no one want to keep me
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 18:22:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bet75/i_dont_understand_what_it_is_about_me_that_makes/
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I dated this toxic guy for 9 months and I treated him like gold every single day despite him doing nothing in return...finally my feelings got too strong and he essentially said āyeah I told you I wasnāt going to want a relationship and that hasnāt changed.ā So obviously I was devastated and thinking...I donāt know, how can someone get to know me and see me and be with me for 9 months and still look at me and think ānahā
So I decided to try dating...I usually have one date and no interest in whatever guy. But this one was different. We went out Sunday night and had so much fun - heās cute and charming and sweet to me, but still witty and with the sarcastic banter that I love to engage in. I went back to his apartment and ended up hanging out for the morning on Monday. Monday night he asks if I want to go to trivia at a bar - score, second date! So we went. And I thought it went well. But he hasnāt messaged me once today...didnāt try to hangout yesterday....before we met and the day after we met we texted non stop. Heās looked at my Instagram and snap stories but hasnāt said one word to me. Am I wrong for thinking....āwow guess I did it again.ā I canāt think of anything I would have done. But I really thought we hit it off :( and here I am thrown to the curb again. I donāt know. I donāt know if I want advice or just love. But I love you guys. Thanks for listening ā¤ļø
[Rant/Rave] [RANT]"You're a much better size now"
/u/happy_but_unhappy [5'9 |CW 118.8 | 17.5 | GW 110]
Created: Wed Aug 29 18:10:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9beprt/rantyoure_a_much_better_size_now/
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Sooooo ive been eating quite a lot recently... like the last month I haven't weighed myself and I haven't tracked calories like at all which I guess is good? But scary at the same time. All my clothes fit exactly the same so logic would have it I haven't gained that much.... but today my dad commented that I'm a "much better size now" and he's glad I've "gained some weight" my granny said the exact same thing tonight and honestly I feel like crying. I was looking for an excuse to restrict anyway as I'm off to uni in a few days so I can cook for myself again but it's honestly made me feel super sad and upset
[Other] DAE browse restaurant menus online and imagine what it would be like to eat food there??
/u/lilllyyy [5'7 | 123.6lbs | 19.4 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 18:07:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9beoyo/dae_browse_restaurant_menus_online_and_imagine/
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Lately I've been obsessively looking at restaurant menus online, especially when I'm restricting & hungry. I browse menus for hours every night and imagine what I'd order and what it would be like to eat the food. Even places I've never been before or haven't been in years... i'm just obsessed. tonight i've been looking at the taco bell, burger king, & krispy kreme menus. But I've also recently discovered YouTubers that do 10,000 calorie challenges or record their entire "cheat days". I can't get enough of it and it's probably not healthy. like i should read a book instead but i can't look away lol yikes
​
This can't be normal? tell me I'm not the only one who does this haha
[Rant/Rave] FINALLY found the thing that works for me!
/u/itszwee
Created: Wed Aug 29 17:43:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9beil7/finally_found_the_thing_that_works_for_me/
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I've been seeing people swear by \[x\] specific diet/routine/behaviour forever and it's always been frustrating entering a cycle of "omg this will change my life" to being frustrated that it's clearly not something that'll work for me. But I've been doing OMAD at dinner (because I live with my family and that's when we all eat together) for the past couple weeks, with my days off being an exception because of eating for social things/not being suspicious when skipping lunch. I used to be a habitual snacker, with only one *real* meal a day, so the transition was pretty easy. All I really had to do was say no to everything until dinner time. Even from the first day of doing this, I knew I found something that actuall*y wor*ks for me, and I felt euphoric. Anyway, just wanted to share and gently remind everyone that just because someone else swears by a certain method, doesn't mean it's necessarily for you and that you're doomed to stay the same forever just because it doesn't work out for you.
Dark thoughts
/u/boyandgirlmom
Created: Wed Aug 29 17:07:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9be8t0/dark_thoughts/
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I seriously just hate everything right now. My kids are struggling in their own ways. I feel like a) I have no idea how to get them through life to be successful adults and b) like it's mostly my fault. Why did I ever think I was good enough to have kids. I'm barely holding my life together right now and I can't even eat because I know if I eat I'll get hungrier and hungrier and then everything will just completely fall apart. Someone remind me of this day in 10 years and hopefully I'll have a better story to tell š
(I've never posted in here before so please don't be mean...I literally cannot handle anything else right now) I don't even know how to help myself from this. I haven't felt this low in a really long time.
When you eat so fast you cant even count calories....
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 16:54:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9be58j/when_you_eat_so_fast_you_cant_even_count_calories/
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Rant. Fucking A. I fasted yesterday and planned to until dinner tonight. I was gonna make veggie noodle spaghetti. Its 3:30 and i ate an abnormally large cucumber dipped in salted vegan yogurt (i make my own dip) okay I'm done. Right? You'd think so, I mean i am full? NOPE i ate at least 1/4 a bag of costco sized salad topper (contains pumpkin seed, sunflower seed, and dried cranberries) who binges on fucking seeds????? I know that was lot of calories, high in protien though... so.... yay? Kill me now. I literally just mindlessly ate that until i couldnt move. I feel like that fat squirrel that ate all the bird seed, just add self loathing.
(Sorry no flair and probably a lot of errors. Posting via mobile.)
[Thinspo] Warning to everyone posting on thinspo. There are a lot of pervs with ed kinks
/u/heyimbored_
Created: Wed Aug 29 16:38:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9be12x/warning_to_everyone_posting_on_thinspo_there_are/
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https://i.redd.it/32gfsgx514j11.jpg
[Thinspo] Does anybody else have thinspo music?
/u/Warmtongue
Created: Wed Aug 29 16:38:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9be0tp/does_anybody_else_have_thinspo_music/
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I started working out and I've found that some music is like thinspo for me. Mainly Frank Ocean's Blonde. I don't know why but it makes me start thinking about getting the body I want. I'm a gay male and a loner and I think something about how feminine it is and how it makes me think about the life that my struggles with body dysmorphia and weight have held me back from. I also quite like St. Vincent's MASSEDUCTION for some reason. Does anybody else have thinspo music?
[Help] Whatās your favorite broth?
/u/ProseBeforeHoes1
Created: Wed Aug 29 16:37:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9be0re/whats_your_favorite_broth/
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I find that hot broth is really soothing and acts as a ācomfort foodā ... Iāve been trying different ones, but do any of you have any favorites ?
How to tell if you are actually skinny or have body dysmorphia...?
/u/throw8712away
Created: Wed Aug 29 16:18:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bdvd0/how_to_tell_if_you_are_actually_skinny_or_have/
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I am 5ā6, 104 pounds (technically 106 but I have breast implants which weigh 2 pounds total so I always subtract that from my weight), and my BMI is 16.8.
Now, I know that sounds tiny because of my height/weight/BMI. My friends always tell me how skinny I am. I just honestly donāt see myself that way or feel like I look āthatā skinny.
When I look in the mirror or in pics, I see fat on my upper inner thighs. I see a little bit of fat still on my stomach. I donāt feel like my legs are lean, even though I wear 00 jeans.
I see pics of other girls who Iām sure weigh more than me, yet look so much thinner. I think I have that āskinny-fatā look but any time Iāve brought that up to anyone, they assure me that isnāt the case.
I guess Iām just having a hard time seeing myself how others see me- I donāt know if that means I have body dysmorphia or that people lie to me about what I look like or what. Itās super frustrating, does anyone else feel like this?
[Rant/Rave] Iām gonna lose weight if I damn well please
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | CW 120 | GW 115 | UGW 110/115 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 16:14:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bduhz/im_gonna_lose_weight_if_i_damn_well_please/
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My boyfriend tells me not lose more weight. He said Iād be āuglyā at 110. I donāt give a damn. First off, youāre Triggering and second I donāt care. I lose weight to accept my body. Itās my body so Iāll do with it whag I please. Now this means Iāll have to lose weight slowly, so it wonāt be noticeable. But eh people telling me how to treat my body can fuck off.
Visiting His Family
/u/thinwin [5'1.8 | CW: 112.2 | UGW: 100 | BMI: 20.7 | -5lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 29 15:47:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bdmia/visiting_his_family/
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Hi everyone, itās been a good long while since Iāve last posted anything here but I just have the need to vent.
So Iām visiting my boyfriendās family and they are extremely nice and are always looking to keep me entertained or make me feel welcome and I appreciate it entirely but when it comes to dinner time they put out large bowls of the sides, main entrees, rolls and all sorts of high calorie foods. Problem is that Iām trying my best to restrict as much as I can but i can see them staring out the small portions on my plate and it makes me feel really awkward and Iām trying to hide my ED as much as I can without it concerning my boyfriend or his family. I already skip breakfast so they already think thatās weird and I just donāt know how to hide my true self from them... ok. Vent done.
Just ate like a tablespoon of plain mustard
/u/gorgingpuddle
Created: Wed Aug 29 15:21:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bdei8/just_ate_like_a_tablespoon_of_plain_mustard/
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And it was fucking fantastic.
Not sure what the point of this post is, just...yeah. mustard is great. I made homemade pretzel bites and my ass almost gave in and ate one (I made them for my boyfriend, cause he loves them, and had a bad day at work), but instead, I put some mustard from his plate on my finger and ate it, then went straight to the bottle and licked some off a spoon. I know mustard has calories but shiiiit, much less than a pretzel.
I've been 17 days binge free thus far! And tbh, I owe it to mustard.
Chew slowly. Savor every bite.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone [Too Short | Too Fat | Too Old | Duderino]
Created: Wed Aug 29 15:05:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bd9je/chew_slowly_savor_every_bite/
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Fruit is one of those foods that can be tricky. It's sweet and succulent and healthy, but it's also sugary and full of calories. While eating some today, I wanted *more*. I wanted to eat five more apples right then and there. I could've. I could've just grabbed them out of the fridge and consumed them in about five minutes flat.
Instead, I stopped myself. Instead, I took a minute to collect myself. I had part of my apple left. I took a bite, and chewed it, and I really savored it. I chewed it up until it was soft and mushy, and I swallowed slowly. I did this for each and every bite, and by the end of it, I had a tiny bit of apple left and I didn't feel like eating the apple anymore.
[Help] Stress eating
/u/NuShoozy
Created: Wed Aug 29 15:00:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bd81a/stress_eating/
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I thought I did a pretty good job of reigning in my ED when I got pregnant but now my kid is almost 2 and itās creeping back. It started with stress eating, then the purge and now itās been cycling for a few days. Iām trying to eat minimally today and kind of give myself a reset but I donāt know how to keep myself from falling back into those negative patterns. Iām open suggestions from anyone whoās can relate. I know long term I probably need some therapy but itās just not possible right now. How do you stop yourself from stress eating cause thatās the biggest thing that leads to a full blown binge for me.
[Rant/Rave] Iām not doing residential.
/u/pringlesbutthole
Created: Wed Aug 29 14:54:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bd655/im_not_doing_residential/
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Every doctor, therapist, psych etc etc is telling me to do this 30 day residential treatment and not to be dramatic but I would rather diiiiie. I donāt need that. Like I really donāt think itās severe enough for 30 fucking days consecutive. My BMI is super low, to be fair, but at my healthiest ever Iād still be considered āunderweight.ā My body is working like it should be, for the most part. I told my doc today that if thatās all they could offer me Iām giving up on treatment lol.
Why is every professionals go to when learning about your ED the most severe and intensive treatment available? Like as soon as I say āI restrict and eat less than 1000 calories a dayā they freak out. Itās... not that deep lmao
[Discussion] Pumpkin Spice
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 105 | 19.2 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 14:30:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bcydd/pumpkin_spice/
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How do you all get through PSL and Pumpkin Spice in general season? Iāve started adding in PSL to my daily calories. Itās started becoming my OMAD. I forgot how difficult it is this time of the year to successfully restrict. š«
[Help] Still hungry while EC stacking???
/u/yungelectric [5'7 | CW: 135 | HW: 202 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 14:16:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bcu3h/still_hungry_while_ec_stacking/
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Does this happen to anyone else?? Iāll take 3 8mg pills with 100 or 200 mg caffeine (depends if I have coffee at the same time) 2 to 3 times a day and for whatever the fuck reason Iām still hungry and just extra anxious which is so frustrating and makes me feel so stupid :(( I definitely drink way more water too because it makes me feel like Iām dying lmfao
[Rant/Rave] Stop eating my food!
/u/skinthin [5'0| 100 | 19.3 | 35 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 14:11:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bcsg4/stop_eating_my_food/
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Just a little mini rant because Iām really frustrated today. I spend a lot of money on groceries that I know I will be able to tolerate eating for days that I work, like fruits and vegetables, eggs, oatmeal, granola bars, etc because my house is full of junk food (I live with 6 other roommates) and every day I come home after class to get something in my system before work only to find it has been eaten. Today, an entire box of organic almond granola bars, veggie tots, and fresh pineapple have all been consumed!! I am nearly broke, Iām tired, and Iām already cranky about eating so when the only tolerable foods go missing I just come apart. I donāt eat your pop-tarts or your pizzas or your frozen burritos, so WHY DO YOU TOUCH THE ONLY LOW CALORIE THINGS IN THE HOUSE? WHY NOT EAT POTENTIAL BINGE FOOD FOR ME? š«
Advice for first-time therapy?
/u/sriracha_henny
Created: Wed Aug 29 14:06:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bcqvg/advice_for_firsttime_therapy/
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I have some issues outside of my eating that I wanna discuss with a therapist. I want to work through some of them, but I do NOT want to discuss ED stuff. Iām still clinically overweight and frankly, Iām really embarrassed to even refer to myself jokingly as having an ed. Any advice on how to effectively talk to my therapist without unraveling the ed stuff?
PS: I will address it eventually. I know itās inevitable. I just donāt feel comfortable doing it yet.
[Goal] I hit my first goal weight!
/u/ThrowPotential [5'6 | CW: 170lbs | BMI: 27 | -7lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 14:04:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bcpzf/i_hit_my_first_goal_weight/
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167.8 lbs, baby!!
As well as that, I've eaten 700 calories today (my lowest in a LONG time), just done a 4k run AND I'm not hungry! Who am I?!
I hate my boyfriends family
/u/ineedalifeee
Created: Wed Aug 29 13:37:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bchfp/i_hate_my_boyfriends_family/
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...Because they brought back sweets from vacation. Now Iām gonna inhale a bunch of chocolate :( theyāre too nice!!!
Obsession with weighing yourself?
/u/PikachuQueen
Created: Wed Aug 29 13:20:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bcbut/obsession_with_weighing_yourself/
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Iām not sure if anyone else does this, but I weigh myself more than 20 times a day. When I first wake up, about 30 mins later, when Iām done showering, when my hair dries, before and after every meal, and bathroom trip too, before bed..... it goes on and on.
If Iām out in the city and I havenāt weighed myself, I wonāt eat 99% of the time even if everyone else is. I will step on an off the scale 10 times and shift it around the floor to make sure the number is correct. Jeez, I have issues.
[Rant/Rave] Lunch Politics...Again
/u/coolmistmama
Created: Wed Aug 29 13:03:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bc6ey/lunch_politicsagain/
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Thereās essentially a āmoraleā group that tries to do events to perk up the workplace. Usually always surrounding food, but whatever.
So I recently went Vegan for some good reasons, some ED reasons. I havenāt made it a secret that Iām Vegan now and itās relatively known. So we are having this big event and they have pizza and ice cream. Typical.
I made an aside to one of my colleagues that I wish for once we could have something that didnāt center around dairy. She took that to heart and tried to advocate for me and have them order a salad. Now I never asked her to do that and had brought my lunch anyways. It was just a sarcastic comment.
But then the Office Bitch took it personally and kept making a million asides about how we are already over budget, how we couldnāt add it last minute, just on and on. And having all of these people talk about my fucking food choices did nothing good for my anxiety.
Eventually it comes to a point where the food is delivered. I had already eaten at this point and was getting ready for my walk. But lo and behold she had three salads for people, individually ordered but fuck me right?
To make matters worse she made sure to make a huge point of telling the office vegetarian that she had options for her etc etc. Just mean girl bullshit. And it was offensive enough to me that Iām actually thinking of talking to HR.
Literally on my way back in she rolled her stupid fucking eyes at me. Just because sheās a fat cow who canāt stick with a diet and lose any weight. Maybe if she had some fucking self control she wouldnāt have to be mad at me all the time for weighing a solid 100 pounds less than her.
I get jealous all the time of women who I feel are thinner/prettier than me but Iād never lash out at them and Iād never try and make them miserable.
I wasnāt going to eat the food anyways but the point remains she went out of her way to make me feel excluded simply because sheās a jealous cunt.
I'm in a LDR with my boyfriend and I'm scared he's falling for another girl.
/u/Throwawaymylife5678
Created: Wed Aug 29 12:53:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bc3fh/im_in_a_ldr_with_my_boyfriend_and_im_scared_hes/
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Background:
Me: 19, history of ED, loses and gains weight crazy fast. Alabama.
Boyfriend: 24, BED, had gastric bypass and has lost like 200 lb. He's now around 250. Illinois.
So my boyfriend and I have been together for going on 2 years. He was a heavy guy when we first started talking but he was so cute. Very flirty personality, etc. He was popular when he was younger and he was everyone's friend.
Since he lost weight, his flirty personality hasn't changed but his body did. He has been getting attention from girls, namely one he told me about last night.
He works 2 jobs and goes to college part time. He proceeds to tell me about this girl who sits next to him, who he talks to the entire class, who he walks out to her car because she wanted to smoke a cig with him. They brag about who's car is faster. He totally clicks with this girl. She sounded very into him.
He also gave another girl his number.
Maybe I'm reading into this too much. He said he doesn't mean for it to hurt me. I let him know it crossed lines. He said he still loves me and that he wants to be with me, and that I'm permanent and that if he ever dated her, she would be the temporary kind.
I've been pacing my house, sobbing and unsure. I don't want to eat and I don't want to go to work. I just want to lay down and die.
[Discussion] DAE have that special outfit that makes you feel better?
/u/Rotten_Muffin [5"3 | 105 lbs | 19.1 | LW: 30 lbs | Girl | Age: 20]
Created: Wed Aug 29 12:42:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bc024/dae_have_that_special_outfit_that_makes_you_feel/
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We all know the one. That one particular outfit you wear because it makes you look a certain way, hides that certain thing, makes that other thing very obvious. And thus it makes you feel better.
For me it's the combination of certain grey sweatpants that hide my hip dips and in combination with an XS sports bra it makes my belly look really flat and my waist thinner. As well as my frame.
I still kind of hate how my arms look like though. But if it's cold I'll use a shoulderless oversized shirt and it'll make my arms look slimmer. Also I usually wear this at night and so it makes me look good I feel good and so I can allow myself to eat something without some of the guilt. Kind of like "I look good! It won't matter if I eat this"
If you're curious, there are pictures of said shirt in my profile. But on Friday I'll post the full outfit!
So, what's your "safe" outfit and what do you like about it?
[Discussion] SECRET EATERS (TW)
/u/PsychadelicSpaceCat
Created: Wed Aug 29 12:15:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bbrjf/secret_eaters_tw/
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Does anyone else watch this insane show?!? OMG
I stumbled across the first season on YouTube and I kid you NOT I have never been more triggered yet transfixed in my life.
For anyone who hasn't watched it, they literally use secret cameras to help people track their food intake to lose weight, but it's just all about confronting people who secretly binge on food. They film people eating fast food in their freaking CARS and they pick through their trash!!! I'm deaded. One clip of a woman eating fries had a little calorie counter in the corner, and with every bite of fry it would go up to show her calorie intake. Triggered for LIFE
Sorry for the rant. Anyone else feel unreasonably called out by British weight loss shows? lmao
If you have ever been on Wellbutrin/Buproprion and then quit, did you gain weight afterwards?
/u/dxylightt [short | 125 | GW: 95 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 12:12:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bbqrm/if_you_have_ever_been_on_wellbutrinbuproprion_and/
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Iāve been on Buproprion (generic form of Wellbutrin) for a year, but recently switched to Prozac since the Buproprion just made me agitated and paranoid all the time. Despite it being commonly known as a weight neutral/weight loss antidepressant, it really didnāt do much to help my binging since anxiety is 99% the reason why I binge, and the med just made me more anxious.
Iām seeing a lot of stories on the internet where people are like āIām counting my calories and eating healthy but still have gained SO much weight after quitting Wellbutrin.ā I know CICO obviously is key, but Iām a little paranoid about it since Iām reading a ton of how people gained a ton of weight after quitting without doing anything and despite eating healthy.
Iām just getting back in a restricting swing again, but now Iām paranoid that because Iām coming off the med Iām going to have a hell of a time losing weight. I figured I would ask you guys about any of your experiences and hopefully reassure my mind a bit. If you ever took Wellbutrin/Buproprion, did quitting cause weight gain for you?
[Rant/Rave] My Ultimate Wish
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8" | CW: 128.2 & BMI: 19.5 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 12:03:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bbnpo/my_ultimate_wish/
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If I could have one thing in this world it would be the chance to switch bodies with someone for 5 minutes just for the opportunity to see what I look like. The mirror tells me one thing, photos tell me anyhow. My reflection in the glass door at home isnāt half bad and I look reasonably skinny but the mirror in my bathroom hates me. I canāt be happy with myself until I know what other people see because I have no idea what I look like.
[Help] MY PARENTS ARE BRINGING BURRITOS HOME WHAT DO I DO
/u/BackgroundHole [5'5" | HW 135 | LW 119 | CW 126 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 11:53:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bbklo/my_parents_are_bringing_burritos_home_what_do_i_do/
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hi so uhhh recently i took a break from restriction while i was on vacation/at camp and gained like five pounds. ive just gotten back to restriction after having over a week of straight up binge days and i had a whole meal plan ready for today (less that 100 calories!!) but my mom just told me we're getting burritos for dinner!! which are, like, my favorite food!! ahhhhhhahahaha im probably gonna keep up this binge streak for the rest of my life!!! what do you think i should do? go to bed before dinner, eat some vegetables instead, eat the burrito and get fat??? hahaha my life is falling apart
Something in my brain broke last week (aka the story of my relapse)
/u/Bisexuwhale21
Created: Wed Aug 29 11:24:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bbbjr/something_in_my_brain_broke_last_week_aka_the/
---
I have always struggled with eating and food. And I used to be a daily user of this subreddit on a different account.
Last year I become so entrenched in my ED I became underweight. Then I met SO, fell off the rails, ate literally huge portions all the time, now I'm overweight again and hate myself #morethanever. It's like everytime I look in the mirror, I look worse. I get fatter.
Well, last week- like Monday or some shit- I just decided I won't eat anymore if Im not hungry. My stomach has to be growling. At first it was weird to break the habit of not constantly shoving food down my piehole. But I got in the swing of it in a couple days and was eating 800-1200 calories. I really thought I kind of found a healthy medium of not starving, but not overeating. I still hated myself but that was the closest to normal I'd been in years.
Then my cat had to be put down and I literally never want to eat. My stomach growls and I just ignore it until it goes away. But I'm stuck in my rule where my stomach has to be growling, so I end up eating maybe 500 calories a day-if that- despite running and doing a weight training class.
Ive lost somewhere close to 5lbs just this week alone... and I still never feel really hungry. I just feel weak and my muscles ache all the time.
Anyways... thanks for reading if you got this far. There's not really a point to this besides for me to rant a little bit about the relapse I knew was coming. See you all around.
[Help] Low-Restrict (High-Restrict?) Help/Advice Needed
/u/puzzledbutton [5ā0ā | GW: 110 | 24F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 11:22:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bbb04/lowrestrict_highrestrict_helpadvice_needed/
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Hi all!!!
Never posted here before. Currently Iām at a normal (too high) weight and have about 7 more pounds to lose where Iāll at least be content with my body (at least I was before at my height/weight) and would REALLY like to get to it before a wedding at the end of next month.
I do fasting pretty often but sometimes struggle to get past 48 hours (sometimes Iāll psych myself out at 24 hours lololol and make myself think Iām not gonna be able to fall asleep IDK itās weird) so Iām looking for some advice for maybe foods or any tips/tricks for keeping calories under 500? I feel like I can totally manage that if I am struggling to just fast. I usually am good at it but since I have a deadline Iām trying to meet Iām of course nervous I will psych myself out.
Iām short (5ā0ā) so realistically Iād like to keep it under 300 but I think under 500 would be fine. I also do OMAD because I find it the easiest to sleep when I have food in my stomach.
Any advice would be appreciated!!!
1100 calories??
/u/notchillen
Created: Wed Aug 29 11:07:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bb60c/1100_calories/
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if I eat 1100 calories a day will I have a slow but sured weight loss?? im trying to weigh 117 by November
Iām not even binging and purging anymore. Itās just purging.
/u/sonospaventato
Created: Wed Aug 29 10:59:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bb37t/im_not_even_binging_and_purging_anymore_its_just/
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Ate celery yesterday and made myself throw it up. At least when I was binging Iām pretty sure some of the calories were sticking... I just want to know what itās like to be beautiful.
Bragging on myself rn
/u/PermanentHysteria
Created: Wed Aug 29 10:46:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bayvb/bragging_on_myself_rn/
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Flair: Rave
I went to a pool party weekend last week and wore a bathing suit instead of covering up. I participated in group activities and took pictures with no makeup on. I look so average. But I had so much fun, really relaxed and enjoyed myself, got to know people, and stepped outside of my comfort zone.
And you know what? It was great. The girls there were all small and healthy probably BMI 20-23 and each of them had cellulite when sitting down. For some reason, seeing that flipped a switch in my brain and I realized. I'm never going to be a super model or look like one, and I can stop being myself up over it. I still need to lose weight to be healthy, but somehow seeing people be the size I want to be, and not being perfect, was really freeing. It just made it feel more achievable while taking some stress of. IDK, I'm rambling.
Came down with a fever...I am so happy!
/u/ripwanwinkle
Created: Wed Aug 29 10:36:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bavuv/came_down_with_a_feveri_am_so_happy/
---
Generally I get sick a lot but have been in pretty good health for a while now. Came down with a fever last night and I am so happy that I have absolutely zero appetite. Even the thought of eating my favorite foods has me turning nauseous.
What the fuck is wrong with me...
[Discussion] DAE feel like they're in ED limbo?
/u/LowStory
Created: Wed Aug 29 10:35:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bavgp/dae_feel_like_theyre_in_ed_limbo/
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So, I'm a full time student with a part time job, and I try to do community work on top of that. I see a dietician and a therapist to help with my binging and such. I'm also in a restriction period right now, and I find myself wanting to restrict more and more. It's super frustrating because I feel like I don't have the time to work on recovery because it requires so much mental energy, but I also know I don't have the time for things to get worse because I know that if I pass out or something (which almost happened recently) I will be forced to take time off of school and work to recover. Right now I just feel like I'm in a limbo state where I'm fighting the urge to restrict more because it's easier than fighting to become healthier. Anyone else ever felt this way, and if so, what did you do?
[Discussion] How do you guys deal with being hangry?
/u/cactirootz [4'11 | 84 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 10:32:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bauj9/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_being_hangry/
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I feel like itās affecting my relationship and thatās kinda a big concern for me since Iām codependent as fuck on my boyfriend and would probably go off the deep(er) end if we broke up but thatās a story for another time!!! but literally like anything. what do you do that makes you happy/content?? tell me thangzzzz
Isn't it ironic that we don't want to tell anybody about our issues, yet desperately want people to notice
/u/taikutsuu [5'9'' | cw: 122 | 17.4 bmi | gw: 110 | 18f]
Created: Wed Aug 29 10:30:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9batre/isnt_it_ironic_that_we_dont_want_to_tell_anybody/
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I've shared some of my mental health issues in the past, with some selected friends, but with my ED it's kind of different. I don't know why, actually. Maybe it's because we want people to notice our weight loss and compliment us on it, without saying we're sick? I have no fucking idea. It's confusing.
what's the saddest thing you've eaten lately
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 107|16.7|UGW: 103|F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 10:26:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9basoj/whats_the_saddest_thing_youve_eaten_lately/
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my lunch that i'm eating rn is packets of taco bell mild sauce and water mixed together and microwaved to make 'soup'
it's kinda good
I want to be free.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Wed Aug 29 10:24:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9barw5/i_want_to_be_free/
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Free from calorie counting. Free from meticulous "clean eating." Free from weight anxiety. Free from self-loathing. Free from body checking.
I'm in a cage of my own making, and I deserve this.
[Rant/Rave] Super gross and super happy content
/u/twa1238
Created: Wed Aug 29 10:19:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9baqbg/super_gross_and_super_happy_content/
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Ok so every morning I weigh myself and write down the number, no matter if good or bad. I donāt know whatās happening but Iām not losing anything right now even though Iām restricting/fasting so hard, weight fluctuates around a plateau and this morning I weighed 200gram more which was KILLING me and I really really didnāt want to have to write down something depressing like that again tomorrow.
So since I had to work this afternoon I thought letās go and buy laxatives this morning. Mind you, I havenāt bought them in three years and didnāt really remember how they ~~~worked~~~~. So I swallowed the smallest recommend dose because I was being responsible (haha) and ate a little non-fat yoghurt after and nothing happened. I waited a few more hours and nothing happened. I got frustrated and took more, nothing happened besides a little grumbling in my stomach. I said to myself oh well the laxatives are too weak, forgot about them, went to work.
At work I had to eat my lunch (looks like Mac and cheese, keeps my co-workers from constantly talking about my eating habits and has 310 calories) and OH BOY IT STARTED.
Iām currently on the toilet at work which usually would be so embarrassing for me but Iām just SO HAPPYYYYYY. I didnāt take a shit in four (five?) days even though I tried so hard lol. Iām in here for like 15 minutes now and itās sooooo good Hahahaha
THANK YOU LAXATIVES I LOVE YOU(but I wonāt take you before work anymore)
sorry @ my co-workers though
[Rant/Rave] Take that you fucking cunt.
/u/RJW256
Created: Wed Aug 29 10:11:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bans4/take_that_you_fucking_cunt/
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My stomach is rumbling, well fuck you you're going to fucking starve for being a piece of shit lol.
[Tip] just made the saddest hot chocolate ever
/u/burrochevola [5ā3āā | 127 lbs | ugw: š»]
Created: Wed Aug 29 10:03:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bal1i/just_made_the_saddest_hot_chocolate_ever/
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it was literally hot water, unsweetened cocoa powder n stevia and i'm not gonna lie to u it was horrible lmao
literally tasted like hot water chocolate flavored but i was craving chocolate n it was only 36 calories so wHO eVEN cAreS
[Goal] Sometimes actaully listening to your body is good
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 152 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -10 Lost | f21]
Created: Wed Aug 29 10:01:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bakc2/sometimes_actaully_listening_to_your_body_is_good/
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Yeah I know that's foreign to us, But hear me out.
For the longest time I've tried to force myself into eating only once or twice during the day because I only really eat at night for binges or "normal" cycles so acsociation with gaining weight and everyone talks about OMAD being great. I finally realized that I legitimately get hungry around 8pm because I'm a night owl who basically only does stuff at night, plus cico right? Doesn't matter WHEN, in theory.
So I've been shaving off calories at lunch and dinner and saving about 100 for late snack(still staying at 800-900) and I feel SO much better it's amazing how it's the same amount of food but just reorganizing makes the difference. I no longer want to binge at night and I don't overeat at dinner because I feel like it's my "last" food for the day and it's allowed. Also it's amazing how much food I can configure for 75-100
I'm also proud I've not gone off the deep end and started skipping lunch , I still basically have my routine with added snack and I'm finally feeling not anxious about it. Pretty confident in fact, even though I'm not weighing I'll see the results eventually. But I feel like this is 100% more sustainable
[Discussion] Tell me one thing you hate about yourself...
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 10:00:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9bak03/tell_me_one_thing_you_hate_about_yourself/
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and everyone else, comment with people (celebrities, Instagrammers, models, whatever) who are considered beautiful and who have that same trait. Bonus points of that trait is why theyāre considered attractive (ie lots of women hate having a deep voice but itās considered Scarlett Johanssonās sexiest trait). I thought this might be a fun way for people to reframe the way they think about the parts of themselves they donāt like.
Something that has helped me reduce my purging this week
/u/thindreaming [5'9 | 25F | bmi 24.1]
Created: Wed Aug 29 09:42:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9baeer/something_that_has_helped_me_reduce_my_purging/
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I saw a post somewhere (probably here) for an app to track progress. I'm definitely one of those people that needs a "streak" to keep track of to further my progress, but it's easy to ignore it when it's just in my head and not written in front of me.
I've had issues b/ping for going on 8 years now and apart from when I was in therapy, I haven't been able to go more than a day without purging when I'm on my own, even if I don't binge. I'm equally terrified of food but cannot resist it.
Alas. I found this app on iOS called "Done" and it looks like this
https://imgur.com/a/THFEg1K
and even though I just started last week (and failed immediately -__-) I feel like this has really helped my mental state and attitude towards purging, and subsequently binging. Since I can't purge cause I don't want to break my streak, I have avoided a couple binges this week. Going from a mentality of "i can eat whatever i'll just throw it up" to this in a week is mindblowing.
I set a goal to not binge for 30 days :) Wish me luck! I hope this post can help someone else start a streak for whatever habit they wish to make or break! <3
No one warned me of the possibility of health issues showing up at normal BMI
/u/LateAsparagus [24F | BMI 22.9 | queen of weight fluctuation]
Created: Wed Aug 29 09:20:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ba7hp/no_one_warned_me_of_the_possibility_of_health/
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I pretty much though that you'd have to be severely underweight to start experiences these kinds of things but man was I wrong. No period at BMI 21-23? Cool. Having hair fall off in clumps despite wearing size medium? It's more likely than you think. Bruised knees from kneeling down to reach something from under the bed? Happens on the regular. Not to even touch on the issues of the dry skin, tiredness + inability to sleep, inability to concentrate, lethargy, and other fun stuff. All this stuff and I can't even get skinny, if I got to suggest a slogan for EDNOS I'd go with "all pain, no gain*".
*^(apart from the literal weight gain thanks to binge episodes)
Gaining weight after going off birth control pills?
/u/Jtgonc
Created: Wed Aug 29 08:34:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b9tbc/gaining_weight_after_going_off_birth_control_pills/
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ok so Iām suuuuuper irresponsible and went off birth control pills for the past like month (I mean Iām currently in a dry spell but still) and have been so bloated since then. I know some people gain weight from going on birth control, but is it possible to gain weight from going off it? I called my pharmacy today and will be picking up a new pack of pills tomorrow
[Rant/Rave] I fucked up
/u/BunnyAwesome [5'7"| F | CW 125 | GW 110]
Created: Wed Aug 29 08:23:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b9psx/i_fucked_up/
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Pretty badly, at work. Completely ruined something for a client by not being vigilant enough. I'm sure and being assured that it's not that bad and actually mostly not my fault but my head is screaming at me.
So I'm bingeing.
But I'm also full of self loathing and have eaten 630cal today already so I'm bingeing on stock cubes in hot water like some kind of pauper soup for sinners.
I am a joke.
[Rant/Rave] the concept of being thin vs. actually being thin
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | god help me | M]
Created: Wed Aug 29 08:20:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b9p3d/the_concept_of_being_thin_vs_actually_being_thin/
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Iāve been doing okay again recently, after a long period of binges / overeating. The problem is that as I lose weight, I lose the ability to tell myself āyour bone structure is okay, your face just looks like that because youāre fat right now.ā
The most depressing truth, though, is that thereās no attractive ā or even average ā face hiding underneath my last ~20lbs of fat. I think thatās what drives me back into binging ā not pure addiction, but the need for a comforting illusion. *Someday* my forehead wonāt take up 50% of my face, *someday* my jaw will strengthen, *someday* my cheekbones and skull shape will gently shift into proper symmetry.
Iām not capable of looking reality in the face, so I gain and lose and maintain the delusion.
[Discussion] DAE wish they had a cyst/tumor that made them weigh more?
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 29 08:13:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b9myw/dae_wish_they_had_a_cysttumor_that_made_them/
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Okay guys itās totally fine if this is just not your cup of tea and I totally get that actually having cysts and tumors can be horrible and miserable but I just canāt get this out of my head:
So last night I somehow ended up browsing r/popping and there were these videos of horses and cows getting abscesses popped and literally *gallons* of fluid pouring out and literally all I could think of is all of the āwater weightā that would be lost and wouldnāt it be awesome if you could just like pop your fat and just have it pour out?? Or like the one lady who had a 50 lb cyst removed? So you donāt *actually weigh that much, itās just the shit that growing inside of you thatās fucking up the scale? I mean hell yeah please let that be it
Lol Iām sorry this was weird. Hope yāall have a good day!
Finally overweight..
/u/milk_yy
Created: Wed Aug 29 08:00:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b9j0g/finally_overweight/
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I became obese (84kg, 160cm) during an abusive relationship. Now I am 77kg and I am just overweight. My bmi is exactly 30!! I'm still fat but I'm making progress :))
[Discussion] Anyone else have ridiculous/unattainable time management goals?
/u/BeginningBarnacle
Created: Wed Aug 29 07:57:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b9i9p/anyone_else_have_ridiculousunattainable_time/
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Iāve decided that starting sept I should start getting up at 4am
I think even 5am will be a challenge but for some reason Iāve picked 4 and I know deep down anything else will be a failure.
Additionally I often think I can finish assignments/work in ridiculously short amounts of time š¤¦š½āāļøš¤·āāļø
[Rant/Rave] Ruined my no purge streak, missed spending time with my dad
/u/crankyhedgiebutt
Created: Wed Aug 29 07:51:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b9gkp/ruined_my_no_purge_streak_missed_spending_time/
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Ughhh itās almost been a week since Iāve purged and last night I gave into it. I spent like an hour making myself throw up instead of spending time with my dad. I felt so guilty about eating stuff that I couldnāt just deal and enjoy the little time I had with him.
And my throat hurts from it too. Drinking coffee was fun for sure. But damn if you take my coffee away!! At least I havenāt taken laxatives and am finally pooping on my own. So thatās a plus.
[Rant/Rave] I want my bones back :(
/u/feellikegucci [5'2 | cw: 145 | 26.4 | gw: 88 | -13lbs | 18 F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 07:49:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b9fxk/i_want_my_bones_back/
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So I was never underweight, but at a normal weight I could see my collarbones prettt well and ribs slightly and it was SO nice to suck in and see those bad boys saying hello to me. It was a taste of being underweight.
But yea. Now I've gained enough to be back at overweight. I cannot see my ribs now. Not even my collarbones. It's driving me insane!! I keep checking in the mirror all the time but they will not appear. It has hit me like a truck. How did I let myself get so fat I can't even my ribs no matter how hard I suck in?!? Ugh.
It makes me even more impatient to lose weight. I need them back. I feel like going nuts looking at my reflection.
[Rant/Rave] At the pool with my friends. I want to die.
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | CW: 68kg | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 07:46:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b9fbr/at_the_pool_with_my_friends_i_want_to_die/
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Itās me, 3 other girls and 5 guys.
2 of the girls are like 5 ft and teeny tiny with amazing bodies. The other girl is literally stick thin and looks like a model.
Obvs theyāre all wearing bikinis and look hot af, Iām in a GIANT T-shirt and shorts because I donāt feel comfortable showing my disgusting body.
The guys were like āyooo we should lift ppl on our shoulders and make like a human totem pole!!!ā And then they proceeded to ask EVERY OTHER GIRL BUT ME IF THEY WOULD GO AND ITS PROBABLY BECAUSE I AM FAT AND HUGE AND THEY WOULDNāT BE ABLE TO LIFT ME
COOL.
Brb gonna go never eat again ššššš
[Help] Does anyone lose weight without counting calories?
/u/narkreturn
Created: Wed Aug 29 07:40:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b9dni/does_anyone_lose_weight_without_counting_calories/
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Iām quitting calorie counting because whenever I slightly go over my calorie limit for the day I end up binging cause Iām upset. If I just consciously eat less then I wonāt know how many calories and therefore wonāt binge. Does anyone have experience with this?
[Help] Im bloated and my mom suggested water pills
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Wed Aug 29 07:33:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b9bi0/im_bloated_and_my_mom_suggested_water_pills/
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My period ended sunday and NOW im bloated.
Its so uncomfortable.
​
My mom said to try water pills. any recommendations
[Rant/Rave] Do you guys find it hard to have a normal meal without feeling guilt?
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Wed Aug 29 07:25:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b99l0/do_you_guys_find_it_hard_to_have_a_normal_meal/
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or trying to exercise or purge it out after a meal? I realized i can never eat a normal meal without feeling guility about it and purging it out later on. I want to eat without gaining weight, but i can never have a normal meal without thinking I might gain weight.
What r ur tricks for curbing hunger
/u/gkelleyr
Created: Wed Aug 29 07:22:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b98nt/what_r_ur_tricks_for_curbing_hunger/
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My sweet tooth is the worst at night but all day Long if I see food I want to snack even if I just ate. Making tea helps but itās not full proof cause I just the sensation of eating. And also I hate not getting something I want in general so if a part of my mind says I want a food then I feel extra deprived not having it.
Anyone else trying to fast today?
/u/mermaiddreamsss
Created: Wed Aug 29 07:11:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b95rt/anyone_else_trying_to_fast_today/
---
[Rant/Rave] I took up smoking to stop eating
/u/almc879213
Created: Wed Aug 29 06:55:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b919a/i_took_up_smoking_to_stop_eating/
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I feel really shitty right now, because I know what Iām doing isnāt a great idea. But Iām so desperate for an ounce of self control over my appetite that Iāve thrown caution to the wind, and now Iām willing to do anything.
What a great start to the day, amirite?
The first guy I (almost) hooked up with told me I looked like a girl "who liked her food".
/u/tinyfleabite [5'2.5|94 lbs|BMI 17| I don't eat I photosynthesise]
Created: Wed Aug 29 06:40:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b8xel/the_first_guy_i_almost_hooked_up_with_told_me_i/
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Just after bragging about not eating all day, too. Not saying it gave me an ED or anything, but jfc I was 13 and he was 23 and it was all kinds of wrong. Dumbass me thought he was super cool and funny too. Why am I even posting this.
Turns out people think Iām even uglier than i think i am
/u/BaoBeii
Created: Wed Aug 29 06:37:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b8wl9/turns_out_people_think_im_even_uglier_than_i/
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Okay so i was feeling pretty bad about myself last night and i figured maybe my body dysmorphia is just messing with my head, so i posted on one of those subreddits where people can rate you (surely THAT was a great idea). And all of the replies were like 5/10 (Iām sure that was being generous) and most of the comments either called me chubby or told me that i should lose weight. Guess Iām going to restrict and hate myself forever! I just want to lay in bed and cry all day now.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 29, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 29 06:11:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b8q3g/daily_food_diary_august_29_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 29, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday August 29, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 29 06:11:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b8pyp/way_to_go_wednesday_august_29_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for August 29, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Today is my birthday and the first thing I did was edit my flair LOL
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F 24]
Created: Wed Aug 29 06:09:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b8pk2/today_is_my_birthday_and_the_first_thing_i_did/
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šššš
I just ate three packets of crisps
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Wed Aug 29 06:04:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b8o63/i_just_ate_three_packets_of_crisps/
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Fml I just walked into one of our meeting rooms and inhaled three packets of crisps
450 cals.
I want to purge but it would be so inappropriate at work
EUPHORIA
/u/gabebega
Created: Wed Aug 29 05:50:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b8kun/euphoria/
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I woke up in the middle of the night to pee and then started checking myself at the mirror...I lost weight and I can see my bones....went back to bed and couldnāt fucking sleep cause I felt like I did coke or something. Couldnāt stop thinking about how awesome I am going to look/be, what people will say...and then I feel guilty cause itās so vain and stupid. But thatās what an ED feels like sometimes.
[Other] Trying not to binge..
/u/gauntlyghost [1.68cm | CW :cake: | BMI 19something | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 05:49:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b8ko3/trying_not_to_binge/
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​
[Would still count the calories..](https://i.redd.it/dhaml437t0j11.jpg)
Literal, uncontrollable bingeing
/u/sriracha_henny
Created: Wed Aug 29 05:41:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b8ij0/literal_uncontrollable_bingeing/
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Hey all.
Okay so Iāll admit it: I used to describe my binge eating as āauto pilotā or āzoning outā because I did it so often, and picked up on so much ed terminology, that I kind of gave myself the excuse to keep doing it. Lately Iāve cut back on bingeing and night eating and I managed to lose 10 pounds (and Iām terrified Iāll gain it back).
But then, when I *do* binge. GIRL. Sometimes it actually feels like Iām having an out of body experience. Iām writing this as I binge and feel pretty autonomous doing so, but lately, these binges are scaring me. It really feels like Iām leaving my body. I can see it all happening, of course, but I feel like my head goes silent. I donāt even mentally tell myself to stop, I just keep fucking eating until I pull away, horrified.
Anyone else like this?
[Rant/Rave] My Body Gallery Wakeup Call
/u/hungryhippocrit
Created: Wed Aug 29 04:56:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b8890/my_body_gallery_wakeup_call/
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So I randomly remembered that this site existed. For a while now I have been fooling myself that "If I could only get to 120-125 I will be happy and maintain".
So out of curiosity I start looking at people by height and body shape at different weights.... and I dawned on me--- I will still hate my body no matter how much I lose. I was looking at girls in the under 100 category and pretending they were pictures of me and nitpicking little things. I see other pictures of girls and think they look great, but stripped down and face blurred out, if I pretend I'm looking at a photo of me, I dislike it.
/endrant
So I slept with a guy last night
/u/billiedove [5'8 | 114 | 17.3 | Who even knows anymore | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 04:33:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b83l0/so_i_slept_with_a_guy_last_night/
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And he left this morning for work and let me stay at his place. He told me to go ahead and eat if I was hungry.
Now, I live alone and I just donāt keep food in the house. When I eat, Iāll buy it straight away, make it, eat it.
Guys. GUYS. This dude has everything. He lives alone and his fridge is stocked to the brim! Iāve been staring at every cupboard for like an hour. Nutella! The two best kinds of peanut butter! Bread! Three kinds of cereals! Two kinds of yogurt! Milk! CHIPS! Unfinished bags of chips! Who buys chips and doesnāt finish it right away? Pasta sauce! Cheese, like, ALL THE CHEESE! Cold cuts! Pickles! Wine! Juice! How can anyone have so much food, live alone, and not eat all of it?
Iām fascinated. I now low key want to have access to more peopleās fridge now. Just to see.
Oh, and I had a banana. Tempted to put nutella on it but thatās a slippery slope.
[Help] What's the best time to weigh yourself?
/u/Dontloseyour-Ed [5ft | CW: 102lbs | BMI: 39 | GW: 86lbs | 16F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 04:10:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b7yo6/whats_the_best_time_to_weigh_yourself/
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I know you weigh more in the evening but what's the best time for getting an accurate, consistent weight? Thank you
Advice needed
/u/bodiestalk
Created: Wed Aug 29 03:53:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b7v8x/advice_needed/
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Iām pregnant and feel so defeated about my body. This leads to me binge eating daily. I feel terrible physically- itās not enjoyable in the slightest.
Iām an all-or-nothing person. Before I found out I was pregnant, I finally hit my fasting stride and had fairly good self control. But eating at maintenance has always been impossible for me.
I want to be kind to my body and my baby. Any strategies for eating in moderation would be so appreciated.
Love this community, love to all of you. Thanks for reading.
What do I do :(
/u/ramen_nudes
Created: Wed Aug 29 03:52:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b7uy2/what_do_i_do/
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Iāve been fasting for 2 days and I allowed myself dinner (a bit of chicken, rice salad) which was definitely enough for the day, but later on I got the craving for McDonaldās, which is so weird because I typically find McDonaldās utterly repulsive, and I gave in to a med fry, nuggets and a burger. I feel disgusting. I donāt want to purge but my stomach is in so much pain and I have a headache (I think from the sodium). Iām trying to drink as much water as I can but my body keeps wanting to purge. I donāt usually give in to cravings like this and Iām crying and I feel so gross, what do I do?
Body horror
/u/Dean_Friedman
Created: Wed Aug 29 03:49:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b7ueg/body_horror/
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I kind of feel a panick attack coming right now. For the past ~5-7 years, Iāve lived with a pretty positive attitude towards my body. I genuinely felt ānormalā when it came to my relationship with my body and food- maybe even better than normal.
Over the past few months Iāve lost about 30lbs through calorie restriction, fasting, and cocaine in a completely unstructured manner. A couple weeks ago I finally decided to start going back to the gym, and Iāve been feeling pretty great about it. I stopped doing hard drugs, stopped drinking alcohol, made and effort to eat healthy, tracked all my macros, and drank more water.
Then comes today. I picked up some coke, got moderately high, and drank a beer. For some reason, I feel way worse than I usually would while doing this. I felt anxious and on the verge of tears all night, so I decided to take a shower. When I saw myself naked in the mirror, the only term I can use to describe my revulsion is ābody horrorā. I didnāt even recognize myself and I wanted to crawl out of my skin. Iāve never felt so fat and out-of-shape. I know that Iām at a āhealthyā weight, somewhat thin, but now Iām just confused and disillusioned. I donāt know wether or not I was tricking myself into thinking I looked ok before. I canāt even face myself right now. I want to die and disappear.
Iām so shocked by this feeling. I donāt know what to do. I havenāt felt like this in years. I really thought I was over all of this.
[Help] Nude photoshoot coming...
/u/dearheyjules
Created: Wed Aug 29 03:26:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b7pvi/nude_photoshoot_coming/
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I had lost 10kg last december and maintained it for a while. But by june I just gained it all back and I'm in this huge binge spree for almost a month. I wanna lose back at least 7kg until 15th sept. I know it's a short time and I'm way too depressed to exercise but too anxious not to want to eat. I am so so so lost. It's like there are two me's in my head.
Anyone have any diets/fast result plans so I can reach that? I don't know how to get off of my binge eating right now.
I go from binge eating to restricting and I feel like a failure all the time. Also I can't take the pics if I don't lose weight.
Please
Help
Me
[Discussion] DAE crave an aesthetic??
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | CW: 68kg | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 29 03:20:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b7ovs/dae_crave_an_aesthetic/
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Like sometimes I crave a look sometimes more than the skinniness itself.
Like the look Iāll have once Iām skinny enough to have it.
[Tip] Good apps?
/u/Ednosonline
Created: Wed Aug 29 02:45:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b7ihe/good_apps/
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Hoping this doesn't go against rule #1, I'll admit I am not super clear on what things it forbids.
Anyhoo
Apps! What apps are you currently using e.g. to track exercise and similar? I am looking to optimize my motivation to stay on track...
Mine:
- MyFitnessPal: I don't have the paid version, but I couldn't live without this currently.
- Fitbit: I mainly use this to track my sleep and period, tbh
- Reddit: Well, this subreddit has turned out to be the most supportive place I have found :3
[Other] Hmmm interesting health diet
/u/Sgt_rumble
Created: Wed Aug 29 02:45:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b7idm/hmmm_interesting_health_diet/
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https://i.redd.it/j21aiqnokvi11.jpg
I just cleaned my house in preparation for some family coming over. I don't know if they'll figure out the ED. Hopefully they just assume I'm an incompetent bachelor.
/u/EDthrowaway343 [6'6" | 210 lbs | M | Unhealthily maintaining]
Created: Wed Aug 29 02:40:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b7hm1/i_just_cleaned_my_house_in_preparation_for_some/
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So, I have no food in the house except for an entire cabinet of calorie free drinks and mixes, plus some cans of soup. It didn't occur to me how fucked up that was until I was looking at my kitchen cabinets.
Three dozen sugarfree spiced cider boxes looks a little bit suspect, doesn't it?
Accurate (repost)
/u/amooni95
Created: Wed Aug 29 01:58:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b7a4y/accurate_repost/
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https://i.redd.it/rvfrhum2ozi11.jpg
Why won't my weight go back down?
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Tue Aug 28 23:15:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b6e8r/why_wont_my_weight_go_back_down/
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So, usually, I weigh 44.0 kg. However, for the past two weeks, my weight has been bouncing around-
first 45.5 kg, then 44.9 kg, then 44.4 kg, over the span of two weeks.
However, day before yesterday, I weighed 44.1 kg, which is 100 g over my starting weight. And then, yesterday and today, I weighed 44.2 kg.
Why is my weight stuck 100-200 grams above my usual weight? I'm eating around 1550 calories a day, and my sedentary TDEE is 1600... why is my weight higher? Please help!
I don't know what to do
/u/IDontLikeLollipops
Created: Tue Aug 28 22:45:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b682r/i_dont_know_what_to_do/
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Let's start off with I'm an incredible actor. But I don't seem like one. This leads me to be an even better actor. I can give away just enough information that they feel like I'm drunkenly spilling everything, but I'm actually not giving anything I care about away.
This kind of shit is bad. Over the summer I had two friends who knew, but neither knew the whole story and now I'm away from both.
I also dumped my fiance because I'm a terrible person and can't handle him right now even though he's fucking wonderful and I want to die because of it.
Anyway, neither summer person knew the full extent of my eating disorder (my ex didn't know either, but he's such a trigger I'm not really going to discuss him). They didn't know how I had dropped lower than ever before, how I've been purging or c/s-ing. Both knew I was attempting to restrict.
One knew my restriction was hopeful, she also had a history of eating disorders and was doing her best to be there for me to talk to.
The other knew my ed was a result of my anxiety/depression. He tried so hard to be such a good friend but ended up being an inconvenience to me. He would try to forcefeed me shit and I KNOW that he was using me as an outlet to make him feel better about his own shit.
The second is the one I love. I know that this love is platonic and probably sexual (it's really fucking good, but I've never had non-romantic sexual love so it's possible I'm wrong), I have no idea whether or not it's romantic, but I'd be willing to give it a shot.
I accidentally told a third basically everything, but he has a lot of problems and when I asked him not to check up on me he agreed, and I believe he won't.
I don't know what I want with the second, and I don't know what he wants work me.
I'm visiting the second on Thursday, and the first on Saturday.
I'm terrified.
I'm doing really bad, but I know they both care for me and I'm trying my hardest to do good for them. They mean more to me than anything I can possibly mean to myself. I fucking hate myself. They are the only things keeping me alive and I'm terrified that they're gonna leave me. But I'm also terrified that they're gonna discover who I really am and judge/try to fix me based on that.
I am so fucking conflicted about myself, how the fuck am I supposed to let anyone else in. I have an appointment with my University therapist next week and I honestly don't know what to do. I don't want to recover. I don't really to be better. I want to get skinnier and skinnier until someone loves me for it, but whenever I get there I'm not going to believe them and I hate me. I hate everything about me. I'm an enemy of me.
I have no idea what to do.
[Discussion] I donāt really understand how people can derive pleasure from junk food.
/u/EIrvine88
Created: Tue Aug 28 22:41:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b674u/i_dont_really_understand_how_people_can_derive/
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Itās painful to be fat, and itās painful to eat things you know will lead you there. People ask me to eat cookies and cheetos as if its ok with me and it disgusts me so much. I just canāt do it. I donāt want to eat anymore.
Do you ever just get a sudden burst of motivation?
/u/nihilistatari [5'2 | Too much | 21 | Not enough | Male]
Created: Tue Aug 28 22:17:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b61rc/do_you_ever_just_get_a_sudden_burst_of_motivation/
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I've been in a horrible binge phase for the past few months, but, honestly, I get these moments where I just get insanely inspired and feel like I can not eat for days. However, the problem is just following through. It sucks that it fades when I wake up and drag myself through the morning just to go to school.
[Other] Food stuck in vending machine, or a hidden message to not binge??
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 114 | 17.8 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 22:12:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b60qs/food_stuck_in_vending_machine_or_a_hidden_message/
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https://i.redd.it/02nkbbjpjyi11.jpg
[Discussion] How to lose food/water weight after a binge?
/u/staticphat
Created: Tue Aug 28 21:51:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b5vlc/how_to_lose_foodwater_weight_after_a_binge/
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Usually after I binge, I drink as much water as possible and try to go as long without eating the day after. I donāt think it helps but it does help me feel like Iām peeing out some of the water weight. What do you guys do?
[Other] When this pops up under ārecommended for youā on YouTube
/u/myrtlewils0n [5'5" | CW: 120lbs | BMI: 20 | UGW: 110 | 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 21:49:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b5vaw/when_this_pops_up_under_recommended_for_you_on/
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https://youtu.be/5jx4dDPzfzM
Does anyone want to be my accountabilibuddy for fasting tomorrow?
/u/facesonplaces
Created: Tue Aug 28 21:41:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b5tjv/does_anyone_want_to_be_my_accountabilibuddy_for/
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Iāve been hard into the b/p cycle and itās getting dangerous. I need a cleanse. Can anyone support me in this?
[Discussion] DAE visit Starbucks today for their new fall drinks?
/u/skinnylilalien
Created: Tue Aug 28 21:06:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b5l2p/dae_visit_starbucks_today_for_their_new_fall/
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Ahhh the sweet goodness of pumpkin spice chai, Iāve missed you!!
I just want it to be over
/u/witchy2628 [5'3 | CW: 104.4| SW:190| 24f]
Created: Tue Aug 28 20:54:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b5ht2/i_just_want_it_to_be_over/
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I've lost 90 lbs. And I thought once I got to this point, I'd feel really pretty and confident and HAPPY. But I'm all upset over this guy and the only thing I can think about is losing the last 10 lbs (which also feels way harder than the others? It used to be so easy). I just want to STOP being so hyper focused on my body but I'm not ready to give it up until I hit my gw. I just wish the process wasnt so miserable.
I cant flair on mobile but this is a rant for sure
[Rant/Rave] There was a small earthquake in my area....
/u/staticphat
Created: Tue Aug 28 20:49:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b5gm1/there_was_a_small_earthquake_in_my_area/
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....and I didnāt feel it bc I was fucking binging on uncooked ramen noodles.
Oh, I also bit into a frozen hard boiled egg today AND KEPT EATING. I hate myself sometimes lmao.
[Rant/Rave] my friend said something about my body and it really hurt.
/u/milk-and-honie
Created: Tue Aug 28 20:35:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b5cza/my_friend_said_something_about_my_body_and_it/
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Weāre pretty good buddies and I see him often working out at the gym where I work. We have a pretty antagonistic-but-in-a-playful-way relationship. Today, he stopped me on my way to the laundry room out back with some towels. He dumped them in my basket (which was awesome, usually people throw them on the ground to be collected).
Then he made me put the basket down. He said something like ādo a spinā, so I did because Iāve lost 20 lbs recently (slowly enough that no one really has noticed). I was expecting him to comment on the weight loss, because Iām 179 lbs now instead of the 202 that I was beginning this year.
āYour arms are looking pretty flabby, if you flexed it would all would just hang down.ā He said instead, smirking, and Iām going to remember that for the rest of my fucking dying days. I just laughed and excused myself with the towels to go cry in the laundry room for twenty minutes. He was probably joking is what Iām wishfully thinking but I know heās right, Iām fucking disgustingly fat and my arms are huge and they *are* flabby.
I guess Iām going to the gym before working tomorrow and after class. I feel so sick to my stomach now.
[Help] restricting causing flashbacks ?
/u/rainesaway
Created: Tue Aug 28 20:34:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b5ck7/restricting_causing_flashbacks/
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so i have a lot of past trauma and i started really really restricting again fairly recently. my flashbacks went away while i was ārecoveredā but theyāre coming back and i was wondering if this has happened to anyone else ? itās absolutely terrible
[Help] I've got until Nov 11th to drop 18lbs help!
/u/AnxietyDepressedFun
Created: Tue Aug 28 20:29:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b5bed/ive_got_until_nov_11th_to_drop_18lbs_help/
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Massive sugar addict, I'll restrict only to then eat 4 lemon poppyseed muffins in a row. My Fiance & I are going to London & Paris with his very "in shape, thin, athletic mom" and I already take enough shit for my recent weight gain from medication. I know I can do this. CICO is my BFF but if anyone has any tips as to how to whip my ass into actually doing my best. Also Fiance says if I hit my Goal he'll buy me two new things to wear on this vacation so help remind me I can do this.
I almost missed the bus because I was body checking
/u/throwawayyyyy60497
Created: Tue Aug 28 20:25:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b5aaq/i_almost_missed_the_bus_because_i_was_body/
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This morning I was so hyper focused on every imperfection and noticing every slight difference from the night before that I almost missed the bus. It's weird how in that moment the only thing that mattered in the world was how my body looked. I wasn't aware of anything else around me, just observing my body.
[Other] its never enough for us
/u/scaledrops
Created: Tue Aug 28 20:19:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b58pc/its_never_enough_for_us/
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https://i.redd.it/hw6wovfkzxi11.png
[Rant/Rave] an emotional (numb?) rant
/u/planetskinny
Created: Tue Aug 28 20:17:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b585g/an_emotional_numb_rant/
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so i found out iām obese. and honestly i feel like shit for it. iām teetering on the highest edge of going back to overweight and on the lowest point of being obese. iāve always thought i looked obese (even though iām not like, super big or anything), but my disordered ass blew this out of proportion and iām kind of numb. not numb to the point of dissociating but numb to the point of not being able to cry. and i should be frustrated about the fact that i canāt cry but i just donāt feel anything. FUCK. honestly is it bad that i just want to lower my calorie intake now? and like do more fasting? or is this a normal disordered reaction because i really need to know iām not alone.
This sounds ridiculous, but I am terrified of ...
/u/xvxpunk
Created: Tue Aug 28 20:02:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b546f/this_sounds_ridiculous_but_i_am_terrified_of/
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Using lotion. No joke. I am worried that if it touches my skin my body will absorb the oil in it and I will gain weight. I know it sounds dumb, but I have actually had panic attacks after using lotion. I've had this fear for over a year now. Sadly, I have all these nice Hempz lotions that I really want to use (they smell so nice!) but I just can't. Does anyone else here have any similar fears or am I just going crazy? :(
[Discussion] It would be nice to have a chatroom ED related
/u/clapyourhandsaywoo [1.58 | 51 | 5 ]
Created: Tue Aug 28 19:59:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b539o/it_would_be_nice_to_have_a_chatroom_ed_related/
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[removed]
I see the light
/u/ShiningSeason
Created: Tue Aug 28 19:52:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b51io/i_see_the_light/
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I was briefly convinced to eat 1200 calories a day.. That lasted roughly a week š How can I eat 1.2k when I'm disgusting and so far from my goal. I'll just go back to my daily coffee meal, thanks
Slipping back into ED as a form of control?
/u/HelloUsagi [5'1 | CW: 145 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 19:37:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b4xas/slipping_back_into_ed_as_a_form_of_control/
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Long time lurker here and have been battling my body image for so long. Recently things in my life have started to really spiral out of my control and I've slipped back into my ED as a way of at least controlling something in my life, even if its only my body.
I'm easily the biggest I've been in years and my body image couldn't be more negative. I don't really know where I'm going with this but I just wanted to finally reach out and join the community
Haven't had a disordered thought all day!
/u/kernalmustache [169cm ā | CW 105lbs | BMI 16.7 | SW 130lbs šø]
Created: Tue Aug 28 18:47:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b4k60/havent_had_a_disordered_thought_all_day/
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So yesterday somebody made a post, can't remember if it was here or in another subreddit, which had a link to website where you could put in information about your proportions and it would compare you to over people. The site says that data was collected from over 2000 people and it shows you are bar that encapsulates the averages. I made a pretty unwise decision to put in all my information and I found out that of my highest measurements I'm average for someone of my height and for the others I'm below average (so turned out great for me :D). Basically this is great because I've been struggling with feeling big as a result of both my eating disorder and my gender dysphoria, but I just found out scientifically that I absolutely am petite and I am so happy! I've been looking at myself in the mirror and it's like suddenly I can see how i actually look. No body dysmorphia at all to tell me that shoulders are too wide or my chest is too bulky or my waist isn't slim enough. I genuinely just feel great. It's like a huge weight has been lifted. All it took was a little effort to make myself feel pretty again after a few weeks of like not shaving my legs and stuff and now I'm in a wonderful mood!
I'm sick of passing out
/u/JayLenoBlows [trans | BPD | 18f | 6' 145lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 28 18:41:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b4imk/im_sick_of_passing_out/
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It makes me feel unsafe, weak, and pathetic. It raises suspicion and I could get hurt.
I wish I was healthy.
[Other] The Science of Addictive Food
/u/throwaway2019170
Created: Tue Aug 28 18:32:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b4g83/the_science_of_addictive_food/
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https://youtu.be/4cpdb78pWl4
I didnāt realize what Iād been doing for the last week was binging. Where do I go from here? I want to die.
/u/trytostay
Created: Tue Aug 28 18:30:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b4fnd/i_didnt_realize_what_id_been_doing_for_the_last/
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Suddenly itās been seven days of āoh Iāll just have a snackā and now Iāve gained five pounds and stepping on the scale actually makes me want to stab myself.
It just hit me that what Iāve been doing is binging. No one ever wants you for this post-binge feeling. I honestly think I might be suicidal right now and the only way to calm myself down is telling myself that Iāll fix it by starving myself for a week or two until the scale is back where it should be.
I hate this :(
ED Logic makes zero sense
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Tue Aug 28 18:19:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b4czd/ed_logic_makes_zero_sense/
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In the almost year that I feel like I binged straight, I would kill to be at maintenance, let alone a deficit of any kind. Now that my mind has flipped a switch and Iām restricting, I feel guilty for eating 1200 calories even though my TDEE is around 2200-2300 because of how much I walk and work, so I purge a single cookie and a handful of granola?
Seriously I donāt understand my brain, it truly is all black and white over here.
How many calories is in this bowl do you think?
/u/throwaway86_443
Created: Tue Aug 28 18:11:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b4aoq/how_many_calories_is_in_this_bowl_do_you_think/
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I have to go out to lunch with my co workers tomorrow (ugh) and weāre going to this food market with different vendors, and Iām going to order this bowl from what seems to be the healthiest restaurant option.
Hereās what Iām getting - https://imgur.com/a/UeZtuXc
And this is what the size of the bowls are like for reference - https://imgur.com/a/96jF3Ir
How many calories do you think it would add up to be? Iām terrible at estimating this sort of thing.
Does anyone like placebos?
/u/EIrvine88
Created: Tue Aug 28 17:58:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b47b7/does_anyone_like_placebos/
---
For example, I take an occasional hydroxycut pill when I feel like Iām on the verge of binging (weekly). Most of us know that hydroxycut does basically almost nothing considering its mostly caffeine, but just the step of taking something encourages me strangely enough.
[Help] r/1200isplenty and r/IntermittentFasting help me justify my ED to others
/u/neptunestatss
Created: Tue Aug 28 17:58:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b474v/r1200isplenty_and_rintermittentfasting_help_me/
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I am very much down with this trend of starving yourself being āhealthyā
[Discussion] so... I cut the sizes off all my clothes that werenāt the smallest available size for that particular type of clothing.
/u/milliondollarjane
Created: Tue Aug 28 17:57:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b46zq/so_i_cut_the_sizes_off_all_my_clothes_that_werent/
---
Iāve been hanging around a lot of my friends lately, especially in my room where talk of clothes inevitably comes up (often). Weāre girls, we try that shit on and model it for each other.
Anyway, I was wearing a sweater I hadnāt worn in about a year, and even though it looks big on me, it doesnāt look so big that I canāt wear it. I checked the tag and itās an XL and I felt so ashamed. What if one of my friends saw that while trying on my clothes or when it was lying around or something?
Anyway I went into my closet and cut out everything that wasnāt a size small.
I feel like a crazy, obsessed person. I donāt regret doing it because itās harmless but itās mostly... why would I care so much about something so juvenile?
I'm so fucking irritable
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Tue Aug 28 17:25:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b3y3r/im_so_fucking_irritable/
---
I'm losing weight. Each morning I step on the scale and it's slowly going down, but I'm so angry all the time. I'm a moment from snapping and I have to keep myself in check. I have to remind myself that not everyone is out to screw me over. Not everything is to be taken so personally.
I feel like I'm going crazy.
[Discussion] Does anyone else watch fat YouTubers?
/u/cookingwine2 [173CM | CW: 57.1KG | GW: 45KG | 16F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 17:15:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b3vf3/does_anyone_else_watch_fat_youtubers/
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Sorry if this comes across as rude, but I was wondering if anyone else watches fat YouTubers?
I especially like Amberlynn Reidās videos, her mukbangs and her weigh ins. She makes videos about weight loss and started at around 380lbs 2 years back and now sheās at about 530lbs.
Anyways, they help me not binge. I also like watching My 600lb Life, sometimes I feel so bad for the people on it... does anyone else do this?!
[Discussion] Does anybody else watch fat Youtubers?
/u/cookingwine2 [173CM | CW: 57.1KG | GW: 45KG | 16F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 17:04:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b3s3g/does_anybody_else_watch_fat_youtubers/
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Sorry if this is rude, but Iām just curious to see if anyone else watches fat/chubby youtubers to help them restrict or not binge/purge? I like watching them do mukbangs mostly. I also like fat documentaries or stuff like āSupersize VS Superskinnyā
Amberlynn Reid is one of my favourites to watch.
[Discussion] Are pickles really 0 cals?
/u/ohdarlingyourefucked
Created: Tue Aug 28 16:33:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b3iz3/are_pickles_really_0_cals/
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I just figured cucumbers have calories so wouldnāt pickles have them too? The new jar I just bought says 0cals...but ya know, always a skeptic.
[Discussion] Anyone ever binge but then lose weight WITHOUT purging via lax or vomiting?
/u/0kcalHaldol
Created: Tue Aug 28 16:18:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b3esr/anyone_ever_binge_but_then_lose_weight_without/
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Basically the title.
Happened to me today, binged yesterday but when I weighed in the morning I lost 1 lb.
[Rant/Rave] [intro/rant] Got back into a "healthy" weight and I feel super guilty about it. The guilt is the worst part of ED's.
/u/Rotten_Muffin [5"3 | 105 lbs | 19.1 | LW: 30 lbs | Girl | Age: 20]
Created: Tue Aug 28 15:54:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b37te/introrant_got_back_into_a_healthy_weight_and_i/
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Hey everyone! First time posting here. So let me know if I do or say something innapropiate.
First depression made me overweight, and after some recovery, I began to lose my weight very unhealthily. I lost about 30 lbs in two months. I was fasting so much I almost fainted a few times. When I got to 110 lbs and was happy with that, I realised that eating properly again became impossible. It felt terrible. I felt so guilty every time I ate. So, thanks to that, I went down to 100. Which I guess was still fine, I was techincally underweight but not so much. Still, I got rather scared and tried to gain some weight back.
I went back to 105. But now I feel worse. I feel super guilty. I feel gross. I can't eplain it but I'm sure you can understand me. I know it's supposeddly unhealthy but I can't help it. I say with a bit of shame that I want to go back to 100. Or... Even lower.
Ever since I lost that initial weight, I've been struggling a bit with the whole guilt deal. Sometimes I'm like "I'm unhealthy thin. I need to eat more." And so I binge. But then I hate myself and then starve myself sometimes for days at a time. Not to mention that eating anything even close to what I'm "supposed" to be eating is downright impossible now.
I thnk I'm going to go back to 100 or even lower soon, whether I want to or not. I can see it, the fasting, the starving, the dizzines of not eating. I can see it all again. Maybe then my body will actually catch up this time and I'll actually like it.
Anyway! That's my story. I'm thankful I found this sub. I have a feeling I'll be using it a lot.
Fastest way to get nutrients in your body?
/u/sonospaventato
Created: Tue Aug 28 15:44:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b34um/fastest_way_to_get_nutrients_in_your_body/
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Besides the obvious eat something. Best thing to eat or drink? I feel like passing out.
My boyfriend made a bulimia "joke" today.
/u/PinkyOutYo [170cm | CW: 46.0kg | 15.9 | GW: 45kg | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 28 15:38:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b334r/my_boyfriend_made_a_bulimia_joke_today/
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And I just couldn't stop laughing.
It wasn't even a funny joke. We're going to a house party with a load of my mates this weekend and we're all pretty heavy drinkers. I'm on a lot of meds which mean that I can't drink like I used to the last time we were all together as a group.
He said "You could probably drink more if you lined your stomach." I was just sort of silent. He followed it up with "Look, we'll each get four people's worth of food. You can throw up, like, half of it, you'll still be fine!"
I stared at him for a couple of seconds and then just burst out laughing. Literally no one had ever joked about my ED. I know that there are probably plenty of people her who'd think that what he said wasn't cool, but for me, it just made me feel so relieved. I mean, bulimia is shit but I have to see the funny side of it (which is why /r/ProEDMemes is life).
He did follow it up with a hugely effusive "THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD DO IT. THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM OK WITH IT." But it just made me feel...accepted? Like, he hates that I do this and he hates that I suffer but he accepts it as a part of me in the present.
Anyway, just wanted to share.
[Discussion] Is anyone else obsessed with getting all your daily steps in
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 115 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 15:26:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b2zaq/is_anyone_else_obsessed_with_getting_all_your/
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I just got my Fitbit and idk what I should set the steps goal as, so Iām sticking with the standard 10000 for now, but Iāll def be increasing it after a bit. Just donāt wanna ware out my legs so I wonāt be able to walk at all lmao.
Anyway is anyone else obsessed with getting it all in? Like Iāll pace around in my room until I get all my steps before I can go to sleep.
[Intro] My pregnancy triggered my ED
/u/button_eyed_coraline [5'4" | 165 | 28.3 | -75 | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 28 15:09:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b2ubi/my_pregnancy_triggered_my_ed/
---
Hi all. I've lurked for a while under my main username and made an alt specifically for this sub because I feel like I'm going to be here a while so why the hell not.
I gave birth in January. My daughter is beautiful and healthy and I love spending my days with her. But the loss of control I experienced during my pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum period has sent me spiraling. The changes my body has been subjected to in the last year leave me feeling powerless. I found an old picture of myself in my parents' house in which I was 16 and skeletal and for some reason seeing the contrast between my body then and now kind of...broke my brain? I hate how I look now. My features inspire self-directed rage when I look in the mirror. I've lost all my baby weight, but I was overweight when I got pregnant so I still have a LONG way to go before I feel like I can breathe easy again.
I had a doctor's appointment this morning and I had to lie when she asked if I was eating enough based on my rapid weight loss. I lie to my husband when he gets home and asks if I ate lunch or dinner (depending on how late he gets in). I've always continued to do body checks out of habit since my first go-round with anorexia in high school, but now I feel true anxiety building until I can get somewhere private and feel my pelvic bones and encircle my wrists with my fingers. My ED was always related to control and order and that has started to show up in other areas of my life as well. I will run myself ragged, staying up late cleaning and organizing when I should get some rest. I've switched to a meal-replacement shake because I can weigh it out and know exactly down to the gram how much I am consuming. I told my husband my goal weight and he responded with concern, so now I have to lie and say I'm losing weight "for my health" when really it's so I can see my goddamn collarbones and impose some kind of order on the chaos my life has become.
I'm so anxious all the time. I'm supposed to be "better now." I have no idea if I'm supposed to tell my husband how I'm feeling because I truthfully have some more weight to lose according to the BMI chart. But I know that's not going to be enough. Getting to the top end of the "healthy" weight range isn't enough. I need to feel bones again and know that I still have that control over my body. I fasted for 24 hours until 10am this morning, and going to bed hungry last night was so deeply satisfying. I felt sickly gratified by my own hunger, like I deserved it for getting so fat and gross in the first place.
So yeah. That's me. I'm not sure what I'm going to do moving forward, but I figured getting some of it out there might help. Any other moms go through something similar?
[Rant/Rave] Donāt you love it when other people tell you want to do with your body?
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Tue Aug 28 14:52:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b2ota/dont_you_love_it_when_other_people_tell_you_want/
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My parents said i was getting too thin. My bf thinks telling me not lose weight will stop me. And they both piss me the fuck off. Itās my body, Iāll weight what I want to weigh. Itās none of their business anyways. I could tell them about their body and what they need to do but theyād just get me. If youāre not me, you have no jurisdiction over my body and my weigh.
[Help] I need to lose weight slower
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Tue Aug 28 14:48:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b2ngd/i_need_to_lose_weight_slower/
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If I lose too fast, everyone (parents, bf friends) will be up my ass. So if I lose slower they wonāt notice.
[Rant/Rave] āNot Everyone Has an Eating Disorder Like Youā
/u/peyton2724
Created: Tue Aug 28 14:45:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b2mmy/not_everyone_has_an_eating_disorder_like_you/
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(Tl;dr at the end)
I was in class today talking with a few of my friends, and one of my closest friends (who also has an eating disorder) made a joke to something I said by saying, āJust donāt eat anything. Photosynthesize.ā
Everyone knows she still struggles with her anorexia, sheās really open about it. Sheās not exactly recovered right now, she still has to fight it daily, but she hasnāt relapsed for a while. She also knows that I am knee-deep in my disorder right now, working towards recovery (I went from anorexia to bulimia and now have OSFED). So her saying this was sort of an inside joke.
But her boyfriend responded, laughing, āJeez, not everyone has an eating disorder like you.ā
That he said it wasnāt the issue, everyone thought it was funny, including my friend, but I just wish I could talk openly about my ED. My friend and I gave this knowing look to each other, because no one else knew I really did have an ED, and it felt so secretive and I hated it.
I want to come out about it, really. Iām working on recovery enough that Iāve felt ready and able for a while now, I can just never come out with it. Saying it initially is the hardest. Once I do, it feels so relieving, and Iām really open with the two people I have told.
I donāt know, I guess I just feel like it would be a grab for attention if I said it? Does anyone else not tell people about their ED because they think it would be taken as a grab for attention?
God, why does no one beat you down for talking about other mental health issues? Why do EDs have to be so frowned upon?
(Tl;dr Someone made a comment that made me wish I could tell people about my eating disorder, but I feel like people would take it as a grab for attention.)
I ate WAYYYYY too much today š”š”š”š”š”š
/u/GingerStark [5'9.5" | 18 | CW : 123 | GW : 120 | UGW : 110 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 14:43:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b2m2s/i_ate_wayyyyy_too_much_today/
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I need support because I really want to die right now. These past few weeks I've been overeating and hitting maintenance for no good reason. And I've gained like 10 pounds. I eat just to eat, not because I'm
hungry. I just hate myself so much I can't do this anymore. I really want to fast tomorrow, but my mom will probably notice : /
[Rant/Rave] Iām at my highest wait and fucking hate it.
/u/spaghetti-tacos
Created: Tue Aug 28 14:40:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b2l2i/im_at_my_highest_wait_and_fucking_hate_it/
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Weighed in yesterday at 129.2. I cannot believe that I have gained so much weight in such a short amount of time. Just a little bit ago I was 125, and now suddenly iāve gained 4 pounds! If I get to 130, iām going to be so upset. Now it just seems like iāll never get to my goal weight. I donāt understand how some people are so skinny! I try and try, but iām a failure. And when I say iām a failure, I just eat again because i see no point in this, and thus the cycle continues. But iām changing it now. I swear to god i will stay under 130.
how much does b/p affect your weight
/u/relativeletter6 [161cm | 55.1kg | gw 50kg]
Created: Tue Aug 28 14:40:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b2l1o/how_much_does_bp_affect_your_weight/
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this is such a dumb post considering iāve been bulimic for like a year now (was an b/p for a year and a half prior, then ednos for another two years before that) but. iāve always been the bulimic who eats enough to maintain outside of b/p
now i restrict outside of it, i b/p on 2000-4000 calories a few times a week and i am VERY thorough about purging. and itās always within 45 minutes of starting to eat. but because i gained 0.3lbs iām really paranoid that this is gonna make me gain even though i used to b/p on way more
iām eating <600 outside of b/p on the days i do and <1000 on non-b/p days but. my question is.
how much does b/p impact your weight? do you lose? maintain? gain? since itās relevant like how thorough are u on purging and what do u eat outside of it
sorry if this is annoying iām being dumb but,.. like iāve literally lost 5lbs or some shit in a week and a half doing this but like i said i. gained a tiny bit. and iām panicking.
[Help] Help me count my chipotle cals?
/u/skeletonsofawhale [5'2 | 143 š³ | -42 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 14:20:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b2erw/help_me_count_my_chipotle_cals/
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I literally had nOoOoO other choice but to eat at chipotle today and I nearly had a panic attack while ordering. I'm barely holding my ground as is rn. My daily limit is like 300-500 and i want to die rn since I already had 170.
Here's a breakdown of what I ordered:
Soft shell taco bc the taco portions are tiny. I didn't eat the tortilla so 0 cals for that I guess
Sofritas (if I eyeball it it must have been 1/2 cup total)
Roasted Veggies (1/3 cup, not sure. Deffo oily too. Bad decision.)
The mild "sauce" aka the tomato chunk thingy. Probably 1/4 cup or less.
Lettuce- an obscenely low 1/4 cup. Probably negligible cals tbh
All of these are obviously eyeballed so it might be more or less. As I said taco portions are tiny so I'm hoping this is more or less accurate. I don't know how to count chipotle cals so of someone could help with these estimates that would be great thx
I have the wrong kind of depression
/u/_thehotcheetodiet_
Created: Tue Aug 28 14:14:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b2cz3/i_have_the_wrong_kind_of_depression/
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Why can't I have the depression that makes you not eat. I know it sounds so fucking horrible to say, but if I have to suffer anyway, why can't I be getting skinnier instead fatter. I see others around who talk about their depression like "oh yeah all I had was coffee today lol I just didn't get hungry. Depression will do that to ya!"
But nope, when my depression flares up I just shove innumerous amounts of food down my throat and order $30 at Taco Bell and candy and chips from the drug store and in the moment it's the only thing that makes me feel kind of ok. And afterwards I just hate myself even more. At least if my depression made me not eat I could have one less thing to self loathe about...
[Discussion] Anyone seen this before on a label?
/u/rulesofrestraint [5'2 | cw 94.2 | 17.85 | gw tbd | 23 f]
Created: Tue Aug 28 14:00:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b28g3/anyone_seen_this_before_on_a_label/
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I impulsively decided to buy myself a tiny (45 g) dark chocolate bar while I was out, figuring that I would be able to eat a portion of it without feeling too guilty. This is what I saw when I went to check the nutritional information. Any of you seen this before? Maybe it was a blessing in disguise though, because not knowing kept me from even opening the bar at all...
Have any of you ever seen this for nutritional info on a label?
/u/rulesofrestraint [5'2 | cw 94.2 | 17.85 | gw tbd | 23 f]
Created: Tue Aug 28 13:52:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b260g/have_any_of_you_ever_seen_this_for_nutritional/
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I impulsively bought a tiny (45 g) dark chocolate bar for a treat while I was out, figuring that I could eat a portion of it without feeling too guilty. I guess it was a blessing in disguise though because not knowing kept me from even opening the bar...
[Other] Progress post.... maybe?
/u/kayasawyer [ 4'11 | 100 | 18.5 | 20 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 13:49:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b24x7/progress_post_maybe/
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So today for the first time in quite awhile I didnāt bother about trying to restrict. Maybe itās because I had a panic attack and took quite a bit of my anti-anxiety medication but either way I feel like today Iāve succeeded in doing something I wouldnāt be able to do by myself. Iām so proud of myself! I hope I can keep it up but I know I probably wonāt and if I donāt: thatās okay too. Iāve made a plan to talk to my therapist about this and if I donāt do it Iāve given my mother permission to talk to my therapist about because I canāt keep living this way. This is not healthy. And not just in the obvious ways when having an eating disorder. I have gastroparesis and I can *feel* my stomach getting worse. That might sound silly but the amount of pain I had last night I almost went to the hospital but luckily I didnāt because it subsided quite quickly. I donāt know whatās going to happen next and I fear Iām close to being malnourished. I was dizzy literally all day yesterday and I couldnāt tell what was causing it because I also have POTS. I donāt know. I just donāt know lol.
My body might be giving up on me. But Iām not.
[Rant/Rave] The cruel irony of EDs
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 13:18:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b1v23/the_cruel_irony_of_eds/
---
It is so ironic to me how we as a community practically worship CICO as a religion, but on a regular basis we (I say we because I have been guilty) write posts worrying about gaining weight overnight or gaining weight from eating 2000 calories, Despite the fact that Iād venture that the majority of us know our TDEEs and that it takes 3500 beyond that to gain a lb. Itās like ed logic is this inverse of fat logic. Theyre constantly looking for ways to rationalize eating more, and were constantly looking for ways to rationalize eating less.
I guess itās just a commentary on how powerful these diseases are, and how much it can effect our own ability to be reasonable and rational. I think about this a lot, bc I know this is very true for me and I often wonder if it is my obsession that actually stops me from being able to reach and maintain a lower weight in a healthy way.
[Rant/Rave] Boy do i love crying in the bathroom at work
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Tue Aug 28 13:13:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b1tlw/boy_do_i_love_crying_in_the_bathroom_at_work/
---
A lil back story: Im a published model. Alternative of course because im fat (5' , 127/129LBS) and have tattoos.
​
So my friend/photographer i frequently work with posted another model i know. Shes SO perfect. Skinny and pretty and everything i wish i could be.
​
Ive cried 3 times so far
[Help] I need to accept that weight loss is slow
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 116 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Tue Aug 28 13:06:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b1r7j/i_need_to_accept_that_weight_loss_is_slow/
---
I was 116 then ate at least 2000 calorie on Saturday with my bf. Now Iām back up to 120. This is a slow process and will probably take a few weeks before i can even get to 110. And even that seems impossible. I hate that Iām not skinny and gained back the weight.
Alright which one of yāall was this
/u/whereismaimind
Created: Tue Aug 28 13:00:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b1par/alright_which_one_of_yall_was_this/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/9axy2c/eli5what_happens_in_our_body_when_we_vomit_and/
For anyone not on peach! My morning smoothie to helo with healthy dumps!
/u/Crotchetylilkitten
Created: Tue Aug 28 12:49:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b1lvc/for_anyone_not_on_peach_my_morning_smoothie_to/
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https://i.redd.it/rvc0m14brvi11.png
How many calories do you consume when smoking a juul pod?
/u/ineedalifeee
Created: Tue Aug 28 12:31:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b1gca/how_many_calories_do_you_consume_when_smoking_a/
---
Asking for a āfriendā... š
[Other] That moment when you start your period and everything makes sense
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 152 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -10 Lost | f21]
Created: Tue Aug 28 12:27:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b1ezv/that_moment_when_you_start_your_period_and/
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Ahhhhh, so that's why I've been constantly hungry, plateuing and inconsolable, Should have expected it.
How fast did you devolve from a little weird about food to full blown ED?
/u/Milkmaiden_
Created: Tue Aug 28 12:26:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b1ejl/how_fast_did_you_devolve_from_a_little_weird/
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So. I'm new here but not to EDs. I'm in kind of a unique situation because right now I am supermorbidly obese (yeah that's a real thing and it's fucking gross lol). So mostly I have struggled with undiagnosed binge eating disorder.
But recently I know I have gone off the deep end restricting. And it happened really fast but now it's been 6 months and I'm addicted to losing weight and starving myself. I'm constantly thinking about food and what I can cut out because it is SoooooooooooO good when I step on the scale every day and it's down. I feel like I am finally in control of my weight but I know it's just another type of being out of control and I just feel like I'm losing my sanity kind of
Like at the beginning of the month I was 341 lbs and I am down to 302.2 now from doing 500 - 700 cals a day. My life is a constant woosh right now. It's like I get high off it. Then I remember what fat people look like when they lose all the weight and I know I won't be happy when I reach my gw and I have no hope of ever being actually attractive hahahahaha... haha... ha.
Anyway. I'm on a rollercoaster of disordered eating that went downhill fast and just curious if it is """"""normal"""""".
[Discussion] Anyone else freaking out when they are GOOD at restricting ???
/u/twa1238
Created: Tue Aug 28 12:01:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b177k/anyone_else_freaking_out_when_they_are_good_at/
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I started eating next to nothing again, I havenāt eaten anything for two days last week, I eat very little the other days (I was done with recovery for a long time so eating little isnāt the same for me as for many of you, but to me itās almost nothing) and I donāt feel hungry. Today I feel a light headache and my stomach feels a bit bad but itās not too bad and itās the first time after two weeks. I have a lot of energy, Iām keeping up at work, itās all well.
Which freaks me out. Now Iām obsessing that something is wrong and I donāt even need the 500 calories I eat on an average day and have to eat less because I donāt feel hungry! I donāt have any cravings I donāt care about eating food at all, I went to the store with a co-worker today and looked at all the products which usually sends me into binge mode but NOTHING happened.
Why is this so terrifying
my friend lost weight because she saw me lose weight and I askgjalsgjlksjdglas
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: binged]
Created: Tue Aug 28 11:58:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b160d/my_friend_lost_weight_because_she_saw_me_lose/
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Last winter I went home from uni and saw my high school friends. I think I had lost 40 pounds and they hadn't seen me until then. they were asking me questions like what I was eating and how I lost that much weight. I told them I just eat whatever but I count calories, but I didn't tell them how much I struggle with binging. like, 6000+ calorie binges for multiple days. so then after winter break I came back to uni and gained back 8 pounds and haven't been able to get down to my lowest weight. I've been in a really bad binge cycle.
So recently I went to visit my home again and saw my friends. One of them lost a good 30 pounds and she looks fucking amazing. She told me when she saw me last winter I motivated her to lose weight. And here's the part that made me want to die: I asked her if she had been counting her calories and she literally shrugged and said "meh kind of, I just eat less", like she doesn't even have to count..... she can just fucking "eat less". I believe she's being truthful because I've known her for a long time and she's one of those people who don't give af about food. I'm so done. Last time I saw her, somewhere in our convo her sister said I'm smaller than her and she got kind of bitter. Now she's smaller than me.
asdfadsgk;ljahskjdghlkjdshgl why
[Rant/Rave] My girlfriend found this account
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5 ft 4|118lb|GW: 110|20.20|Not Enough|Nonbinary]
Created: Tue Aug 28 11:58:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b15zy/my_girlfriend_found_this_account/
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Lol fml, I'm half tempted to delete but she's promised not to look at my profile or spread the username around. Admittedly it's my fault for using a username she knows (TurnTech) because I originally intended to only use this account for this sub.
I'm gonna trust her and hope she doesn't look. But fuck my life if she does look she's gonna find out about my scales and stuff if she doesn't already know š
[Tip] Podcast: Diet Starts Tomorrow
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 28 11:25:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b0vkh/podcast_diet_starts_tomorrow/
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Hi /r/proED lovelies <3
​
I hope this is allowed but I just want to share a podcast that I honestly LOVE. its called "(Diet Starts Tomorrow)\[[https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/diet-starts-tomorrow/id1374942074?mt=2](https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/diet-starts-tomorrow/id1374942074?mt=2)'\]" and its held by Betches (some of you may know Betches off of Instagram). Anyways, they're so real and honest about food and how we deal/fucking OBSESS about food and calories and macros and etc etc.
​
Anyways, thought some of you guys might enjoy it. I know I do! Makes me feel less insane and more normal knowing so many people feel how we do, lol.
​
PS: They also have a HILARIOUS podcast called "U Up?" for all my single ladies out there that are on tinder/hinge/bumble/dating scene.
[Rant/Rave] DAE want to get sent to a treatment center ?
/u/rainesaway
Created: Tue Aug 28 10:43:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b0iho/dae_want_to_get_sent_to_a_treatment_center/
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I know it sounds fucked up but sometimes I really want to get sent to a treatment center because then I'm "bad enough" to need that much help. It doesn't make any sense and I hate that mindset but that thought still creeps into my head from time to time. I know it would just be a waste of money and time because there is no way in hell that I'll recover, but still.
Grocery lists for the month, groceries on the cheap, how do you do it? how do you plan it?
/u/me_da_verguenza
Created: Tue Aug 28 10:31:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b0f0z/grocery_lists_for_the_month_groceries_on_the/
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Hi loves, hope you are having a fantastic Tuesday. Recently there was a thread about how much you spend per month on groceries and I was kind of stunned at how low some of you spend. I spend around $60 a trip and thats 4 trips a month and I live alone. (this isn't counting my dog's food lol)
​
I KNOW I am a bad shopping and if you saw my fridge you would scream because I buy too much and don't prepare it for meals because I am lazy, so I end up eating the same items every day. Lots of my food goes from grocery bag to trash IF iI can be honest with you.
​
I shop, for the Americans, at ralphs and vons. I live in Los Angeles and there is a whole foods and trader joes nearby but it's kind of a hike for me as I don't have a car and use the train mostly.
Coworker is my UGW but confided in me that she had a drug problem.
/u/ProbablyNeedGlasses
Created: Tue Aug 28 10:30:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b0eku/coworker_is_my_ugw_but_confided_in_me_that_she/
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My coworker is thin... like so thin I canāt stand it. She literally has my dream body. Itās really hard sitting next to her all day, especially when Iām having a low self esteem day.
Recently she opened up to me about how sheās trying to get over a cocaine problem. She went through a big partying phase, lost a lot of weight from drugs, and now says she hates how thin she is because she doesnāt have a butt or boobs. Itās weird because our quirks are similar but for different reasons. We both donāt like being touched because I feel like Iāll be judged for being squishy, and she feels like sheāll be judged for being all bones. She eats so much food in an effort to gain the weight back too, so I know sheās really trying.
I guess this just makes me think about how different peopleās goals are. Also, while I wish I was thinner I am too obsessed with clean eating to even want to try drugs... maybe thatās my limit. I just want to be my UGW by doing it as healthy (or pseudo-healthy) as possible.
I hope my coworker can get to a place where sheās happy with herself, nobody should feel bad weather theyāre big or small (though I wish I was smaller lol).
As I stir my broth and unconsciously grab at my stomach fat, it slowly dawns on me...
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 09:57:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9b0461/as_i_stir_my_broth_and_unconsciously_grab_at_my/
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I'm back on my bullshit
PUMPKIN SPICE IS BACK
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 09:21:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aztio/pumpkin_spice_is_back/
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I neeeeeeeeeeed
Do you guys know the absolute lowest calorie way to order this lil slice of fucking heaven?
[Rant/Rave] This summer has been a truly wild ride...
/u/CharlieJScarper [5'0.5" | BMI 17.6 | CW 92.2 lbs | FTM]
Created: Tue Aug 28 09:17:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9azs05/this_summer_has_been_a_truly_wild_ride/
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After a year of being 'recovered' (read: always hating my body in the back of my mind, but eating like a Normal Human Person anyway) I got back on my bullshit at the start of this summer. I came home from uni, and as usual started to freak out over having absolutely no structure or purpose to my life, an extremely ill- defined future and family/money issues out the arse.
The month before my relapse was spent in a haze of horrible physical pain and health problems and a relationship breakup that nearly sent me into the depths of a depression so deep I could make tea with the waters of the Marianas trench. My parents rushed me home earlier than usual as they were concerned about my health and I faced up to the months I would be spending at home trying to physically recover. So, I went to the doctor's and got weighed...and the rest, they say, is history.
After a while of fairly bland, uneventful restriction I got down to 93lbs which was almost my LW. I had incorporated daily exercise, taken a volunteering job to stay busy and gotten my family to accept my new eating habits with very little concern (I tried to stick to high restricting.) And then. THE CRAVINGS HIT. Suddenly, my body realised that I had been starving it and poked a hot wire directly into the binge centre of my brain! I resisted for a while, down to 91.3lbs (new LW, 2.3lbs from GW) until I couldn't anymore.
This triggered a 3 day long binge in which I learned that my biggest weaknesses are biscuits of any and all kinds, and cake. So. Many. Fucking. Biscuits. I felt completely out of control, I just couldn't stop myself and I worked myself into a complete panic thinking I would just keep going. But yesterday I broke that cycle, and ate to 1200 cals (my BMR, I'm short lol). It's worth noting that my GW for the 8th of September when I go back to uni was 89lbs, and as of today I'm 93.3lbs. Fucking hell.
Sure, if I'd have stayed on track I would probably have reached my goal, but after a while of high restricting I think I just broke. I feel like such a failure - I see people here successfully low restricting for months on end and I can't even stick to 1000 a day?? Bullshit, I say. I've spent ages trying to rationalise - logically, I won't look that different at 93lbs than at 89lbs, and if I don't start eating at maintenance or at least my BMR I'm going to fall into another binge cycle.
So, my options are:
1. Restrict heavily, worry my family half to death, probably trigger another massive binge but possibly reach my GW
2. High restrict but feel miserable because I'm underweight and my body needs and craves terrible food, damnit.
3. Eat at maintenance, perhaps gain a lb because of water weight/redistribution etc and feel slightly less miserable but still terrified of binges.
4. Eat to gain up to 97lbs (Putting me JUST into a healthy BMI) and feel physically better in the long run but mentally hate myself and my body.
Again, logically I know that I need to be at least a healthy weight because I'll be studying a very hard course again soon and I NEED to be physically well enough to do it! But I'm so, so terrified that it's just going to lead up to a 'well, might as well binge on awful awful food then' mentality and cause me to gain back up to my HW of 103lbs and beyond. My HW is perfectly normal and even on the slightly lower side of healthy - that's just the weight I naturally stay at when I'm not disordered I suppose?
Another thing is that the person I'm moving in with for uni is my ex and he's so amazing. He knows about what I'm going through and wants to help but I'm scared that he'll see me binge, or he won't let me restrict when I feel like I need to, or he'll unintentionally lead me to gain too much by encouraging us to relax and eat traditionally unhealthy 'student food'. He's so gentle and lovely that I can hardly believe my luck but I'm STILL scared out of my mind about the loss of control I'll be dealing with! I absolutely don't know what to do with myself.
I don't even know why I want to be thin. Why is 89lbs my GW? What the hell reason can I possibly have for doing this other than feeling totally out of control? Being underweight is not going to help anything in my life other than giving me something that's 'mine', something that's special about me. I want to fucking relax and enjoy my god damn time at uni a little, not spend every spare thought obsessing over food. I want to go back to being ~100lbs and not obsessing constantly but even then I lowkey hated my body all the time. I don't know what I want. I don't know, I just don't have a clue.
I wanted to try and stick to 1200 again today to curb the urges but I purged (a 100cal snack) for the first time in weeks. I'm so miserable but I'll probably eat more later to make it up as I have control over that at least.
I'm sorry for this horrendous nonsensical rant. I feel like such a fake for gaining and considering weight restoration and I'm so upset and scared and exhausted all the damn time that I can't even enjoy time with my family while I'm still here. I hate myself.
tfw you gain 3lb overnight for absolutely no plausible reason.
/u/kittenbun [5'9 | CW 167 | GW 140 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 08:41:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9azhmw/tfw_you_gain_3lb_overnight_for_absolutely_no/
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i have had such a setback today.
on the 21st of august i got down to 169lbs. and i stayed at that weight *for 7 days straight* despite restricting and eating literally the same as i've been eating every single day for 6 damn weeks.
on the 27th of august a miracle happened and the scales showed 167lbs - this has never ever ever happened to me before - weight never just suddenly 'comes off'. nevertheless i was totally ecstatic that my hard work had finally paid off. i weighed myself 3 times to make triple sure i really was 167lbs.
today i weigh myself. i'm 170lbs. i went upstairs and burst into tears, i'm so frustrated i don't even have the words. i ate no differently yesterday - i expected to still be 167lbs or even a half pound less, because there is no feasible or plausible reason as to why i would gain anything.
i'm now 1lb heavier than i was this time last week and i feel more than ever like a fat disgusting pig. i feel like i've wasted *all those days* feeling hunger pains and exercising so much control and willpower, and for what? absolutely nothing. gaining that pound has made me so angry and frustrated, it's like my body is telling me 'fuck you, your efforts are for nothing'.
i'm now at 1380 calories and feel like purging everything, even though i know it's too late and only bile will come up. i don't know why this happens. when i saw i put on a pound, did i decide to fast? no. did i decide to lower my intake? no. what did i do? i decided to *eat what i wanted* to spite myself.
and now i feel like crying again because i don't know why i get this way. why should i want to spite myself when i'm suffering already?? it doesn't make sense.
i'm overweight. it shouldn't be this fucking hard or this fucking *slow* to be sloughing off the pounds. it should be falling off me until i hit at least 150. i just don't get it. idk what i'm doing wrong.
what do you guys do when you gain for no utter reason whatsoever?? what do you do when you plateau and feel like your efforts aren't paying off?
[Rant/Rave] Day 4 into not eating and I was unpleasantly surprised with what happened at work lol
/u/crashbandiclit
Created: Tue Aug 28 08:22:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9azc6e/day_4_into_not_eating_and_i_was_unpleasantly/
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Iām having a bit of a relapse currently with not eating, but this time Iām trying to kind of go with it instead of making myself more depressed by fighting it and losing, you know what I mean? Iām controlling it more now, mentally anyway, instead of just starving myself as punishment. So like....Iām not eating rn, but Iām changing my thoughts from āI hate myself so much that I want to die slowly via starving [exaggeration of thoughts but in this realm]ā to āokay...my head is telling me to starve, and I do hate myself, but not enough to send myself into a spiral of depression right now. How can I work with this?ā Idk if any of that makes sense, but basically Iām letting myself do it, but Iām not literally killing myself, and when Iām over it, Iām over it. Itās just whatās happening right now, and thatās okay, and if I lose weight thatās okay, I could use that anyway lol. So ANYWAY, backstory finished, letās move on.
So yesterday was day 4 into not eating. I just woke up on Friday morning (day 1) and decided I didnāt wanna fuckin eat! Fantastic! āŗļø So I didnāt, and that felt fine. Saturday felt fine, too, and Sunday was my day off from my job 6 days a week. I also got sick on the Wednesday before this and it got progressively worse throughout the week, so on Sunday I lied in bed allllll day, wasnāt hungry at all, obviously, since I had literally zero activity.
Monday came and I went back to work. I have a pretty physical job, but Friday and Saturday had felt absolutely fine on no food, so I thought Monday would be no different. I donāt know if it was the heat, no food, my sickness, lack of sleep, or a combination of them all, but I was at work maybe 20 minutes before I felt like I was about to pass out. Iāve never passed out in my life, Iāve never even known what āIām gonna pass outā feels like, so this scared the shit out of me lol. I had to sit down several times and my coworkers had to pick up my slack. I felt horrible about that, but they know Iām super sick, so they were understanding, though I havenāt told anyone Iām not eating.
Throughout the morning, any time I would do one little thing itād only take seconds to make me dizzy again, and by then Iād been working for more than five hours, so I thought that if I were going to feel better, Iād have felt better by then. I didnāt, at all. So I reluctantly got some food on lunch. I wasnāt hungry at all, but it basically felt like if I didnāt eat something Iād pass out at some point in the day lol.
So I ate that, didnāt really notice a difference in energy, but I didnāt get dizzy anymore, so based on that, I figured I should probably have something of actual substance on hand at a job of this activity level if Iām not going to be eating.
After work I went to Walmart and got tons of Gatorade, because I normally drink sweet tea and/or water at work. That wasnāt enough yesterday, so I figured some electrolytes would help to prevent this from happening again! I also got those packs of tiny muffins, the Little Debbyās blueberry muffins, in case I ever feel that extremely faint again. Thatād be like an instant pick-me-up, I think. The Gatorade is like 140 calories per bottle and 2 of them fit in my water bottle, plus like 300ish for my 64oz bottle full of sweet tea, which is also packed with ice, so it could be even less tea than Iām thinking, idk. So the calories add up just by what I drink alone, but I donāt feel too guilty about the muffins because theyāre for emergency situations only lol. I havenāt even looked at the nutrition facts as I doubt Iāll be going for them now that I have Gatorade with me all the time. Hopefully the electrolytes were the main issue yesterday.
Anyway, I felt pretty disappointed that I had to eat lunch yesterday, but hey, it happens every now and then. It wasnāt a binge, at least, so thatās progress, and it wasnāt because I wanted food or was physically hungry, so thatās progress, too. I felt like I had to do it to get by for the day, and Iāve had no desire yesterday or today to reach for more food after I ate lunch yesterday. And this morning I lost even more weight, and my pants are rapidly getting looser, and my watch had to go on a tighter hole! š Itās the little things lmao
So basically Iām just ranting, I guess, I donāt really know what this is for other than to chat and share how Iām trying to manage no food but still not actually die at this current time. š Iām doing my best lol
[Rant/Rave] im the biggest drama queen alive tbh
/u/fastingfrycook
Created: Tue Aug 28 08:16:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aza9x/im_the_biggest_drama_queen_alive_tbh/
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THIS IS LONG!!! I AINT SLEPT!!! WHOO!!!
I got really upset yesterday over feeling like people were ashamed of me for taking this semester off school since I needed more time to pay off student debt. I had been relieved to get a break but like no one has been supportive, they're acting like I'm dropping out of school no matter how many times I say it's just this one semester, but I'm terrified that they'll be even worse if I have to take the whole year off.
But anyways on top of that, I might not be able to attend any services anywhere at all for High Holidays!!! I can't afford to go to my home synagogue and don't have a set one in the area I'm staying in for the summer/fall, and regardless I have no money for tickets even if any are still on sale for non-members :) I have no idea what to do lol. I vented to some friends about it, which helped a little, but crying honestly helped the most. It's been so long since I've been able to cry and I just needed to break down like this. After that I felt really lost and just didn't want to think so I just straight up did some meth in the kitchen -- it's not my meth, my roommates found it and just have no idea what to do with it. I don't really *like* meth, I just wanted to not be sober??? idk it was a super impulsive behavior. Wild but not out of character if I'm being honest, they fully expected me to use some of it
Then I decided like, fuck it, I need to tell my sister about my ED bc she's the only relative I trust to tell and she's known me her entire life and we have a great sibling relationship. I kept backing out bc I was terrified of how she would react even tho I didn't think she would actually react badly. She wouldn't think I'm not thin enough. She wouldn't try to and knows she can't just force me to recover before I'm ready.
"I've been embarrassed to admit this because I don't fit the stereotype of what someone with this disorder looks like, but my depression comes with a bonus eating disorder and I am currently relapsing hard, and it's getting worse than I expected it to."
And when she immediately replied that I didn't need to be embarrassed, I just like. Ranted, often very repetitively, for several hours, not moving from where I was sitting on the floor to charge my phone. My sister gave occasional responses but mostly assured me she was reading everything.
One roommate came by, left, came back. Sat down. Other roommate got home a few hours later, sat with him. They watched me to wait for me to join them smoking, while I just kept silently ranting, looking alternatively upset and serious and concerned for hours in silence.
Then I stood up, went to pee, came back, did a line of meth very openly in front of them, went to the fridge to grab a diet pepsi, then sat down next to them and waited to be passed the bong, apologizing for taking so long.
"*Uhh, dude... Is everything okay?*"
I tried to say everything was totally šokey dokey karaokeš but apparently people who are feeling totally šokey dokey karaokeš do *not* behave in this way??? And apparently people who are feeling šfine, thanksš do NOT find that attempt at dramatics humorous *on any level* ???? Tough crowd. U would think someone died in here
I tried to brush it off but felt like I owed them an explanation, and I DID just tell my sister I wanted to stop trying to hide this from EVERY person I give a shit about. They don't ALL have to know but maybe some people could? So I gave them both a really brief explanation -- that *I am currently relapsing with an ED and am not really trying to get better yet. I wanted to apologize for being a hangry, moody bitch so often because of it but don't want people to just let me treat this as a free pass to act like that. Also, I have no idea what support I need, I just want some people to know this is why I'm being weird as fuck rn.*
And their reaction was just supportive and kind. They didn't say I wasn't thin enough or say I was lying because xyz. I didn't think they were the type of people to tbh but it's still just a relief.
But like UGH PLS DON'T MAKE THIS SO SAD AND SERIOUS
ITS OK 2 HAVE A LAFF
That's all I've been doing about it !! and I mean at least that keeps me aware of which thoughts are my ED Brain and which thoughts are Me, and that person still exists in here, even if it's not actually directly solving the issue. It's my bandaid. I know I have to more eventually but I can't right now.
But anyways wow! goodness gracious, the *worst* thing about this is even though I'm glad to have this out in the open so that I'll have support for improving the symptoms I'm trying to get better with, I still feel guilty that I am not actually fully committed to recovery, I have already lost the desire to try getting better professional help becomes available again in a few months, and now it's undeniably a real thing I have that I have to actually work on. Before, as long as I didn't actually say anything to anyone, I could keep pretending this would just go away on its own and I could pretend it never happened, wasn't that bad or that serious anyway, not really an ED. But the cat is out of the bag so... That means not only am I truly sick, for realsies, but that I will have to manage this for my whole life, and my loved ones will have to live in fear of my next relapse and I have to acknowledge that it might get worse and they might have to see it almost kill me, which could happen more than once? No matter how much I am willing to try and Live My Best Lifeā¢ š
āØ anyway, I feel so guilty about how I end up putting other people through this.
(The irony is that my train of thought goes, "I am a burden on everyone bc of my ED, and therefore I deserve to starve to death.")
ALSO I HAVEN'T SLEPT AT ALL AND IT'S TOMORROW NOW OOPS
#TL;DR: I sat on the floor and texted my sister about my ED -- in silence for over 6 hours -- then got up & did a line of meth before I went to smoke with my very concerned roommates. Was cryptic until I decided I should tell them, too. But now it's #TooReal and I realized I never truly accepted that I'm Actually Sick, Like, For Real
[Other] Vaping to replace other behaviors?
/u/strawstring [5'10 | CW ugh | -40kg | 21F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 07:52:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9az3nj/vaping_to_replace_other_behaviors/
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I NEED to stop bingeing (so that I can stop purging) and nothing has worked for me. I can't stop and I don't know why yet, but I am going to see someone about it, I am trying --
Should I go buy a juul??? I love smoking, but try not to for obvious reasons. But at this point, it might help me stop bingeing (which is currently the more dangerous behavior for me). Has this helped anyone/does anyone have opinions? Will I just add on another addiction?
[Rant/Rave] :( flucation
/u/fweakybby [5ā5ā | 132| 22.0 | 68lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 07:40:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9az03p/flucation/
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i donāt know why i fluctuate so goddamn much. three days ago i was 128, now iām 130. how. :( itās so frustrating i need to stop doing daily weigh ins.
[Rant/Rave] Heavy-ish binge/return to proED rant
/u/spiderpockets [5'5 | a literal whale š| 20F | GW 130/UGW 100]
Created: Tue Aug 28 07:26:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aywjc/heavyish_bingereturn_to_proed_rant/
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Looks like I'm back on the ED train gals and pals
My weight got way higher than it's been in years (I blame my relationship and birth control honestly) and now I feel like a sea lard.
I've been fooling myself saying I'm doing intermittent fasting and keto but really I've been fasting until I'm ravenously hungry and then eating a thing of mashed cauliflower or A Single Eggā¢ and pretending I'm all good and not blacking out.
Today, I got home and ate SO MUCH FAT FUCKING FOOD (read: 3 jalapeno poppers with some queso, and a slice of lemon pound cake I want to end my existence)
And then I felt that guilt after eating what others would consider a small meal and I accepted that I've returned to The Loop. Updated my flair, accepted my fate, I HAVE RETURNED.
DAE feel guilty drinking water
/u/karamilk8
Created: Tue Aug 28 07:12:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aysi2/dae_feel_guilty_drinking_water/
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I know hydration is important but I feel so full and gross after sometimes... super weird, just me or
[Rant/Rave] Travelling to Italy SUCKS when you have an ED (rant)
/u/muffintopsss
Created: Tue Aug 28 07:09:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ayrq2/travelling_to_italy_sucks_when_you_have_an_ed_rant/
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The title says it all. New mom. Struggling with an ED and body image big time. Restricted for 2 weeks before my trip and went from 126 to 119 lbs and was sooooo proud and felt soooo good, showered with compliments from friends. The occasional binge days happened, but always could fast afterwards.
Well well well, now enjoying a nice little family vacation of 3 weeks in Italy. Delicious food ruining it all... I hate myself for even saying this as I should enjoy this inatead of thinking of the calories. But some bingers here might know the feeling. Oh shieeet ate too much at lunch, well today is already ruined lets pig eat at dinner too.
Back home in a few days and terrified at going back on a scale. The food is so goddamn good and we visited friends and fam so being fed all the pasta and wine in the world. So much carbs and delish sauces. And cold cuts and cheeses and gaaaaaaaah. Ya know, all that.
I feel disgusting in my body today, probably back at 126 knowing myself. My thighs are glued to each other again great.
I also feel awful because not sure when Ill fix this ED of mine, but know I will eventually have to for my son. "I will I will right after this one last fasting of 2 weeks when I get back to the body I want" is what I tell myself knowing already it is a big fat (pun intended) lie. Cause the reality is, even when I was back at a nice weight I didnt have in years before getting on that plane, I was unable to enjoy "normal eating" for fear of gaining again.
Feels good to share, sorry if nothing super new or fascinating in there tho.
Tldr; Italy's food is so goddamn good, hard with an ED.
[Rant/Rave] Iām always hungry even after I eat š
/u/narkreturn
Created: Tue Aug 28 07:08:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ayrle/im_always_hungry_even_after_i_eat/
---
From chubby to underweight to normal to overweight to...starting again.
/u/gorgingpuddle
Created: Tue Aug 28 06:52:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ayn8v/from_chubby_to_underweight_to_normal_to/
---
I developed an ED once I dropped out of highschool. I...can't remember why, other than I wanted to be thin. There was a boy I had broken up with, who I wanted back, and was convinced he wouldn't take me back until I was super skinny. Lol, to have "simple" problems like that again. Ah...
At 5'9", I got down to 113 lbs from 172 in about 3-4 months. I remember these exact numbers, because at my highest weight, I went to the doctor for a UTI. I think I was 16. I remember stepping on the scale and seeing those numbers...I was used to hovering around 150, which, at 5'9", wasn't "fat", but wasn't exactly skinny, either. I was always on the high end of average, thinking I was huge and awkward. I felt sick to my stomach. I went home and cried and cried to my mother, who was sympathetic at least.
That day changed something in me. I started to take my dinner to my room, hide it in a drawer, and throw it in the dumpster outside. I would stay up until 5am and watch supersize vs superskinny, read pro anorexia tumblr/other website blogs. I'd look at thinspo. I'd look up the calorie count of everything.
Sometimes, I'd get high (weed) and eat a granola bar and some popcorn, maybe an apple and chips...and freak out. I wouldn't eat for at least 1-3 days again afterwards. My mom would try to take me out to eat, and I'd eat plain lettuce with half a chicken breast, and water. My fear of vomit kept me away from bulimia , thankfully (I mean no offense to those with bulimia, I'm just glad that that's a path I've never gone down myself). I started to resent my family for eating the meals my mom made, like enchiladas, chicken salad sandwiches, spaghetti, ect. I'd watch my sisters eat in disgust at how they could be overweight and not care, still consuming large portions (note, it was only internal. I've never said anything negative about anyone else's weight but my own...it wasn't the right thing to think, and I still feel horrible for it to this day).
I'd put on some horrible shoes (I only had converse...this fucked up my feet and knees, I do not recommend it) and run and run, probably 3 miles a day. It started to give me horrible uterine/ovarian cramps that were a mystery to my doctor, but I didn't stop. I ran every single day. 3 miles may not seem like a lot to most of you, but I as sedentary before, so it was a huge change for me. Every week, I was able to run a little more, and more, until I could jog the whole 3 miles at a comfortable pace.
My mom thought I was doing meth. She isolated me. She wouldn't let me see my best friend. She'd have moments of guilt, and would let me go over to her house, my friend remarking on how "good" I looked, how much weight I've lost, how jealous she was. My mom would tell me I looked like skeletor. I didn't see it. I legitimately saw myself as the same flabby girl I had always been.
I went to the doctor again, for depression and anxiety issues after contracting scabies from a used mattress my mother bought me. The scabies had cleared and we got rid of the mattress, but the scarring (mental and physical) stayed. I stopped eating, and ate maybe 2000 in an entire week. I stepped on the scale at my doctors office, weighing 113. My doctor was a sweet woman, but damn...she said I was technically underweight, but I didn't "look" underweight. She congratulated me on getting healthy. :l
I was so. Excited. I couldn't believe it. I looked up every bmi calculator available online to see my bmi. Every single one said underweight. I remember feeling on top of the world. At that moment, suddenly, I realized none of my clothes fit. My dad sent my mom some money to take me shopping. I remember going into Hollister (lol stfu, I was 16) and buying one size bigger than their smallest size. I looked fantastic. I could wear whatever i wanted to, buy I still kept to t shirts and jeans, the occasional sundress when my mother couldn't see what I was wearing.
I moved across the states, into my dad's house, being sick of my mother's shit. She is extremely religious, and tried to exorcise me when she heard that I had kissed my friend (a girl) while I was on the phone with her. She listened into my conversations all the time. She was always on about doomsday, satan, restricting my freedoms, ect.
My dad and stepmother complimented me on how trim I had gotten. My stepmom, who was alway very thin, would give me clothes that she was too fat for. Eventually, I ran away from home at 17, after getting physically (not sexually) assaulted by my father, because he didn't like who I was dating. I moved in with a good friend, he's still my best friend to this day. What a great man. He never took advantage of me, and let me live with him until I got on my feet. Anyways.
At that point, 3 years or so had passed since my ED started, and I just "was" thin to my friends. They'd exclaim "wow, how are you eating that!?", as I dipped into a box of girlscout cookies, after sharing fries with them. They'd talk about how jealous they were that I was "naturally skinny". Little did they know, that handful of fries would be all I ate that day.
How I had my son is a long, complicated story. I won't share it here, cause this post is already long enough, yknow? I'm really just writing this to vent, I guess. I've never told anyone about all of this.
Anyways, my sons father died earlier this year from cancer. We had been separated for about a year and a half, due to him assaulting me. I live with my boyfriend, and my son, now. The grandparents are trying to sue me for custody. My sister died from an overdose in October 2016...none of these events "made" me fat, but they did exacerbate my overeating. After a while, I said fuck it. I was too overwhelmed.
Usually, when I'm super stressed, I restrict my eating even more...but my boyfriend gave me a sense of love, affection, comfort...he made me feel so beautiful, no matter what. We loved cooking and eating together, and it got so out of hand. Foods I used to be scared of, we'd enjoy together...then, I started eating in the middle of the night, in private, relishing the things I'd been refusing to allow myself for the past 7 years.
Now, I don't even know what size I am. I probably put on 60+ lbs. I believe I am pushing. ..200 lbs right now. I am overweight, there is no doubt about it. I am so ashamed. I've already lost 6 inches off my hips in the past 6 weeks, so maybe not anymore....idk. I've been eating 400 or less calories for a month now, hiding it from my boyfriend. I only eat at dinner time, and I just tell him that I had a big lunch, so I'm not hungry. Everyone is congratulating me on my weight loss again, and honestly, it makes me feel good.
I've accepted that yknow what...I'm always going to have an eating disorder mentally. I'd rather be thin with an eating disorder, than fat with one. I'm not looking for advice here, I just want to get my story off my chest. I hope anyone who's going through the same thing, knows they're not alone.
[Rant/Rave] Iāve just been put on three different types of steroids
/u/pmmesadclowns
Created: Tue Aug 28 06:13:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aydmp/ive_just_been_put_on_three_different_types_of/
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Thatās it really. Wanna die tbh. Gonna get so fat.
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday August 28, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 28 06:10:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aycu4/thinspo_tuesday_august_28_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
Daily Food Diary! August 28, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 28 06:10:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aycsy/daily_food_diary_august_28_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 28, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Size
/u/KaitlynMK
Created: Tue Aug 28 05:56:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ay9bk/size/
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Well I tried on a size 0. It zips,but doesnāt fit if you get me.
[Other] Depression makes fasting difficult
/u/RJW256
Created: Tue Aug 28 05:30:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ay3m1/depression_makes_fasting_difficult/
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I just want to eat when in sad or angry. I'm sad or angry all the fucking time? Why did this happen to me?
[Help] any vegans here?
/u/iluvmnms [164cm (5'4) | 51.6kg (113lbs) | 19.0 | GW: 45.5kg (100lbs)| 18F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 05:11:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9axzh1/any_vegans_here/
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I've been vegetarian for a few years but veganism is an option I've considered recently. Mainly for the ethics but also because (as bad as it sounds), it might help with being more restrictive and curbing binges although i would definitely try to have the right mindset before adopting any lifestyle like that. just wondering what ya'll have experienced with veganism + disordered eating behaviours/EDs. have it been a positive/negative experience? any changes you noticed? plus advice? too many questions to ask hehe
[Discussion] Does anyone still go on MPA?
/u/thispersonisdead
Created: Tue Aug 28 05:11:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9axzcx/does_anyone_still_go_on_mpa/
---
(I hope this doesn't break the rules, since it's not a subreddit, just another community. Do not post any personal information/nickname here, exchange those in PM)
I logged back on a few days ago but it seems like all my people left. There's this other pancakeaddiction site now and the mods apparently made another forum. I kinda miss MPA though, so is anyone else still on it? I don't really "fit into it" anymore since I'm being all ~healthy~ but you know... We all know I ain't š
"feeling" the fat
/u/DoNotEatAllTheDonuts
Created: Tue Aug 28 05:09:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9axz1n/feeling_the_fat/
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Does anyone else ever get sudden panic attacks in public because suddenly they become hyper aware of all the fat on their body? I was at my brother's baby shower. It was on a beach and 90 degrees, so I wore a t-shirt like a sane person. About 15 minutes, I could feel my arms jiggle even when I didn't move, I could feel my back rolls through my clothes, I could feel my stomach looking a Pillsbury can that someone just popped. I had to leave my brother's baby shower early because of this. I just wanted to get home and put on the baggiest outfit I could find and cry. This happens all the time to me. I hate it. I was just wondering if it happens to anyone else.
[Discussion] ED & being a āfoodieā
/u/chezpajama
Created: Tue Aug 28 03:40:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9axhzy/ed_being_a_foodie/
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I know these two things seem diametrically opposed, but I still consider myself a āfoodieā (kinda hate that word tho).
I almost never go out to eat anymore because I canāt ātrustā restaurant food, but I still try to make/ eat delicious food and try new things.
Iām not afraid of food, Iām afraid of calories. Food and cooking is a big part of my identity. I canāt live on Diet Coke and shirataki noodles, as much as Iād love the resulting weight loss.
Any other ED foodies here? Chefs? Bakers? Bartenders? Servers?
[Discussion] DAE use subliminals?
/u/planetskinny
Created: Tue Aug 28 03:31:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9axg8r/dae_use_subliminals/
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honestly, i do. they help so much itās actually kind of scary? i donāt have a scale currently so i canāt say how much iāve lost but i know when i went to the doctorās i lost 6lbs in eight days. (from 177 lbs to 171 lbs!)
i was just wondering if i wasnāt the only one, lol.
Anyone can relate?
/u/amooni95
Created: Tue Aug 28 02:50:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ax93j/anyone_can_relate/
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I currently feel hungry to the point where I'm fighting the urge to puke. Makes no sense to me. Anyone else experience this? Feels like I'm a dangerous burp away from puking.
Fasting becomes easier when you feel like dying after eating
/u/starvy_punk
Created: Tue Aug 28 02:35:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ax6ru/fasting_becomes_easier_when_you_feel_like_dying/
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So im at my LW, and have been steadily dropping. Whether im like seriously fasting of having a kinda *fucc it* but still high restricting week im still dropping like 2 pounds minimum per week. And it seems to be having a really weird side effect.
Anytime i eat more than like *a single bite* of a food i get zapped of all energy, heart pounds hard as fuck. My eyes get heavy and i have trouble seeing. And i feel hella weak. Not like fasting weak cause i can aleays push myself when im fasting, but like *im literally dying* weak. When i eat now it *has* to be at home and it *has* to be very small and cal light. I cant imagine what woukd happen if i went for like 2k calories.
Kinda scary. Kinda neat to have that there to keep me on track.
[Discussion] Unusual Eating Habits
/u/scornedcinnamon [4'11.5" | CW: 93 | 18.5 | GW: 80 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 28 00:29:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9awkgj/unusual_eating_habits/
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just had a mini-binge and thought i would share a weird habit of mine.
with baked goods/desserts, i will pretty much only eat the perimeters and filling and ignore everything else. for example, i had two massive chocolate chip cookies but only ate around the edges and ate all of the chocolate. if i buy an asian coconut bun, i will peel off the "skin" of the bun and eat the filling only. if i eat a pound cake, i'll only eat the crust/edges.
idk i feel like i'm eating the parts of the binge food that i like the most?
but this binge put me over my cal limit today just when i thought i would start loosening up on exercise because i had been binging less. sigh.
what are some habits that you all have?
[Discussion] Is it common for underweight people's limbs to be numb after sleeping?
/u/kernalmustache [169cm ā | CW 105lbs | BMI 16.7 | SW 130lbs šø]
Created: Tue Aug 28 00:15:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9awhw9/is_it_common_for_underweight_peoples_limbs_to_be/
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I've noticed that more often than when I was a healthy weight I'll wake up and realize that I completely cut off circulation to a limb in my sleep. It's usually my arms, but I've had it be my legs before too. I imagine it's very unhealthy for your muscles when that happens because they usually hurt a little for hours after and not having blood just sounds bad. This doesn't seem to be a relateable experience for people I've mentioned it to, so I was wondering if it happens to any of you.
I have stretch marks on my thighs
/u/lotsoffuchs
Created: Mon Aug 27 23:58:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9awet9/i_have_stretch_marks_on_my_thighs/
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My thighs are one of my biggest problem areas. Tonight while changing I looked down and immediately noticed how severe they are. Couple this with out of control period hormones and I've just been a crying mess.
I'll get smaller, I swear.
[Discussion] Going to get a yearly physical and iām scared out of my mind
/u/tarynughhh
Created: Mon Aug 27 23:48:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9awd48/going_to_get_a_yearly_physical_and_im_scared_out/
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Me and my mom get a yearly physical at my doctors office because insurance pays for it, well letās say this time of year last year i was NOT this weight, iām scared they are gonna grill me about my weight iām so nervous. Iām 5ā7 and 120 lbs and iām not underweight yet, but iām scared my mom is going to start watching how much i eat because if i lose 3 more lbs iāll be classified as underweight. i hope iām just stressing unnecessarily.
[Repost] I am working on a project to fight the stigma around mental illness and am looking for people to share their stories
/u/mentalhealthproject9
Created: Mon Aug 27 23:29:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aw9cz/repost_i_am_working_on_a_project_to_fight_the/
---
Hi everyone! Do you or a friend/family member struggle with a mental health condition/mental illness such as (but not limited to) depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar disorder, or anorexia? What about autism, dyslexia, or a learning disability? I am a university student currently working on a project to fight the stigma around mental illness and am looking for people willing to share their stories through personal essays, artwork, poems, short stories, song lyrics, photography, etc. Another option would be to share your story through answering questions sent through email. Mental health struggles are heartbreaking and extremely stressful--but there is always a way to heal and/or adapt. More attention needs to be brought to the stories of survival, creativity and achievement in times of adversityāif you would like to submit something, please email at [mentalhealthproject9@outlook.com](mailto:mentalhealthproject9@outlook.com) or pm me for more information! If you donāt feel comfortable using your name, feel free to email me anonymously! I understand that this is a sensitive topic and more of you are willing to share if your name isnāt tied to something.
[Rant/Rave] I know itās really dramatic but
/u/landfill7707
Created: Mon Aug 27 23:24:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aw8dy/i_know_its_really_dramatic_but/
---
This isnāt the best sub for this, sorry. But everything just sucks. Iām fucking hungry and heartbroken can a girl catch a break
That was oddly triggering
/u/kernalmustache [169cm ā | CW 105lbs | BMI 16.7 | SW 130lbs šø]
Created: Mon Aug 27 23:23:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aw8b3/that_was_oddly_triggering/
---
I was on the Steven Universe subreddit reading the comments and some fan art and someone said the artist drew a character too thin (which is almost a reasonable observation since the character looks different in the show, but that's really just art style) and it kinda made feel really bad in a way I didn't expect. Obviously this person wasn't saying that the character design is too thin, rather that the artist drew the character thinner than they are in the show, but it felt bad all the same. Weird,
[Rant/Rave] I have no idea...
/u/violetove
Created: Mon Aug 27 23:15:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aw6pl/i_have_no_idea/
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... what to do with my life.
Anyone else in grad school?
I am v suicidal at the very idea of adulthood and escaping my pristine ivory tower to do something "real". It is fcking terrifying.
My ED, being an all-consuming thought, is the only solace I have from anxiety-driven panic attacks about the "real world".
I have no friends because what the heck are those and this is the only place I feel safe enough to divulge. Apologies for this one-person pity party suicidal anxious wreck.
I'm sorry.
[Discussion] Anyone else with tiny tits feel obligated to make the rest of yourself tiny to accommodate that?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 81lbs | BMI: 15-something | -?lbs| f]
Created: Mon Aug 27 23:14:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aw6k0/anyone_else_with_tiny_tits_feel_obligated_to_make/
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I'm *obsessed* with having a good bust-waist-hip ratio.
Thing is, that's pretty fucking hard when your bust measures 28".
My boobs don't really get bigger even when i'm at higher weights; whether i'm my current 78lbs or my highest 98lbs, I have the chest of a prepubescent boy.
The only way for me to have an even vaguely feminine shape to live in a state of constant famine.
Sometimes I fantasize about getting a boob job so I could keep food down every now than then.
I believe my friend has an eating disorder. What can I say?
/u/Zikara
Created: Mon Aug 27 23:03:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aw496/i_believe_my_friend_has_an_eating_disorder_what/
---
Over the last few months, it's become clear to me that my friend has an eating disorder of some kind. For a while, he ate very little and would admit as much, and he lost a lot of weight. He's now down to a fairly healthy weight for him, and seems content with maintaining his current weight, rather than continuing to pair down (I believe).
But he also is still very obsessive about this. He'll continuously remark about his weight, and freak out about how terrible he is for having gained 2 pounds over the course of a week. He'll constantly need to be over-exercising to the point of nearly tearing muscles and then obsess over making sure he still works out the next day. He's unable to follow a fitness program that incorporates rest days where no working out is to be done. He's mentioned a few times that he's forced himself to throw up after having slipped up and ate a bunch of junk food. Or just on days when he is stressed out and feels fat. He'll generally message me and another close friend asking for us to "make him feel bad" about it, as motivation to not mess up again.
I'm kind of at a loss about knowing what is harmful and helpful to do. I know how to be helpful and supportive in general, and I've already had a Talk about it with him, where I told him I was worried about the patterns I was seeing, and that I thought he might consider getting some professional help about it if he felt it would be good for him, and that he could talk to me if he wanted.
What I struggle with is the small moments. If he's excited about a weight loss that accompanies what I believe to be unhealthy behaviour, would celebrating that "victory" with him make things worse for him in the long run, or... what else could I do/say?
Is agreeing to do an exercise plan alongside him a bad idea? It seems like a good idea to help model a proper exercise lifestyle and just refuse to overdo it with him, by saying something like "Nah. I don't want to work out today, its too much working out for me, but you go ahead without me". But I worry that doing that kind of encourages the process to begin with?
And what can I say that is actually helpful when he's obsessing over the weight? Usually I just keep repeating "your body fluctuates naturally up to two pounds a day, a few pounds like that is natural." But again, I worry that's not helpful.
Also, since I struggle with my own mental health issues sometimes I don't really have the emotional energy to engage with his comments around this stuff. I want to sometimes say something like "I'm sorry, but when you make comments like that it worries me and I feel like I can't help you with it because you don't see it as a problem. I'm here if you want to talk through any emotional issues you're having, or if you want me to assist you in finding help with it. However, I don't think I can be a sounding board for things like fluctuations in your weight, how much you exercise, or comments about you puking/not eating."
I don't know, any other suggestions about this kind of thing would be a huge help for me.
[Intro] Been eating 500 cal or so a day
/u/amberskiess
Created: Mon Aug 27 23:03:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aw458/been_eating_500_cal_or_so_a_day/
---
Hi everyone,
I am worried that I might be edging towards or already have ED.
I feel like I have a very distorted view of my body. This has happened in the past year or so.
I am 23 and 5ā3 and used to weigh like 145 lb a few months ago. I went to the gym and was considered generally āfit.ā
I now weigh 118 lb and am moving towards 115 (fluctuates towards that). This has happened quite recently and in a short period of time. I went through a breakup recently (like 1.5 months ago)which I feel may be the trigger for stabilizing this possible ED because I just have not been feeling hungry at all. Iāve always seen myself edging towards this area (ED) in general, even before that spiel. I feel like Iām really fat and saw myself and my body in a very negative light.
A lot of people have commented on my rapid weight loss.
My hands have been shaking lately because of the way I eat and I sometimes feel faint but the truth is that I donāt feel hungry. I feel cold and always have the heater on. My skin constantly feels cold, Iāve had friends comment on it. I feel like Iām dying but honestly donāt care. I donāt feel hungry, just empty. I am okay with that.
I notice weird little things like how I canāt sleep on my side anymore (makes me feel fat?) and even looking at food disgusts me. Matcha lattes used to be my favorite. I waited in line at the cafe today and the thought of grossed me out and I felt like I was forcing it so I just walked out. I did this today at a burger joint too. I used to like the fresh ravioli from Trader Joeās and I went grocery shopping and bought some but they just sit there. Not appetizing to me at all. I also bought a bunch of super low cal food which is what Iāve been going through. I sustain myself on mostly hard boiled eggs, low cal Babybel cheese, and arugula, as of lately.
I was visiting home for a bit recently (2 weeks ago) and threw up (not forcefully but like bc I wasnāt used to eating so much) this āfarewellā dinner my mom had specially made me. It was in an Uber back to my house (after a flight) and I wasnāt even drunk. My body just canāt handle a lot of food anymore even if I try. I want to weigh 105 or so pounds.
Growing up, I used to be called ātwigā and skinny and people used to compliment me on it. I never had body image issues, and I didnāt grow up with magazines and cable tv and never cared much about the ānormativeā standards for being skinny, but lately I feel like I do.
I just feel really nasty and donāt think Iāll be stopping anytime soon. :/ idk what to think of it all anymore.
[Help] My Cat Died.
/u/InterestingResource
Created: Mon Aug 27 22:57:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aw2xx/my_cat_died/
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Hello, friends. This is my first ever post on this sub. I have struggled wit restriction for several years. It got much worse recently due to a lot of stress between work and school. I also became severely depressed. I withdrew. I isolated myself. I am in a relationship with the most loving human that exists in my opinion, but I have no friends besides him. Thatās half a lie. I have one who goes to school outside of my state. Sheās going to be returning this saturday after being here for a few weeks. Iāve spent more time with her in these last few weeks than iāve spent with everyone in my life combined in the past several months. Iām sad.
Even worse, my cat died suddenly yesterday. I feel so guilty. We knew he was sick and thought his symptoms were due to the medicine we gave him. We didnāt take him to the hospital until it was too late. We dropped him off thinking we would pick him up in a few days and all would be well. Before we got out of the car the doctor called saying his heart stopped. I didnāt even get a chance to say goodbye when we first left him. I was on the phone with a family member when the nurses took him to the back. He was my best friend. I got him as a kitten in either 2012 or 2013 and Iām 20 now. He was only 6 years old. He went with me through high school, community college, and made it to the start of my schooling at a big university. Through the ups and downs of my life, he was constant. He cried at my door day and night begging me to let him in. A lot of times I didnāt. He would run to the bathroom when he heard my door open because i always let him into the bathroom with me when I showered. He loved me so much he would even beg me to hold him while i was on the toilet going to the bathroom. He rarely left my door when it was closed. He always tried to wiggle his way in but i usually pushed him aside with my foot. He always gave me love bites and sucked on my blankets. He snagged too many of my clothing items. He was annoying most times, but he was still my best friend. No pet or person has meant more to me than my boyfriend. My cat was a huge part of my daily life. I couldnāt do anything without him trying to be touching me. I missed a class I was supposed to try to add today that I desperately need. Nothing can take my pain away. Iām so sad.
I blame myself so much. I donāt want to be hard on myself. I donāt want to think about any of it. I donāt want it to be real. Im almost desperate to get a new kitten just so I can feel a sense of security again, but my cat deserved so much more. No pet can ever compare to him in my eyes. Iām so sad.
Iām sorry I posted this here and itās so long. I donāt have many friends, and the ones I do have donāt understand. Iām hoping some of you may have had the same bond with an animal that I did. If so, please please give me as many tips as you can about getting through this grieving period. I already had a lot going on and although itās resolving, I would have endured that and more for eternity in return to have my little baby back. Please help me. I donāt know how to function without thinking of him and crying my eyes out. Iām so sad.
[Discussion] How do you reward yourself?
/u/michellenemangepas
Created: Mon Aug 27 22:46:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aw0tq/how_do_you_reward_yourself/
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When you've reached a goal or when you've been doing well for a while, what ways do you reward yourself?
I have been restricting successfully (at less daily calories than usual) for a week or two. I also lost more weight than last month.
I want to do something to reward myself because I worked really hard and I want to have a little something to acknowledge it and motivate me to keep going. Planning rewards in advance would probably motivate/push me as well. Like "when I reach a certain body weight, I will treat myself by doing "X".
I just don't know what "X" could be. What do you do?
Desperately missing my ED
/u/TryingNarrator
Created: Mon Aug 27 22:42:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9avzwq/desperately_missing_my_ed/
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Recently stumbled upon photos from when I was at my lowest weight. I remember thinking how fat I felt in those photos at the time. Iād give anything to get that back. I thought recovery would give me more energy. That I would have better relationships with friends. That I would feel healthier and happier. Instead Iām still depressed, still exhausted all the time, and still struggle to maintain friendships.
I desperately miss my ED.
End of my second 48 fast cannot come soon enough!
/u/badsparrow
Created: Mon Aug 27 22:34:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9avy68/end_of_my_second_48_fast_cannot_come_soon_enough/
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I fasted Thursday and Friday last week, and did OMAD on Saturday. I've been fasting since Sunday evening and it's the hardest fast I've done so far. Last week, the first 24 hours was bad, and the second 24 hours was easy, but I've really struggled with hunger Monday and today.
But I did it! I had lots of sugar free gum and unsweetened tea, and I'm going to break my fast shortly with what I call Povo Rice. It's basically rice, frozen veg and Quorn chucked in the rice cooker with veggie stock and curry powder and it's going to be fucking amazing. I've been fantasising about this fucking rice all day.
[Rant/Rave] I Don't Like my Psychiatrist
/u/ManicPixieBallerina
Created: Mon Aug 27 22:21:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9avvan/i_dont_like_my_psychiatrist/
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I don't know if this is the right place, but I've been seeing this psych since last year, when my old (absolutely amazing) psych closed up shop and I've just... never liked this one. I get charged for every little thing, and my insurance company keeps playing its stupid little games. I'm on medications I don't like for problems that are STILL bugging me, and my appointments are so short I can't get anything I need talked about adressed. With the drive being an hour and 45 minutes, I don't feel like it's worth it to spend two and a half hours waiting for a 15 minute appointment with a nurse practicioner. I don't think I'm being too much of a diva when I've been trying to talk about the fact my hands don't look like my hands and other "I don't know what my body looks like" problems the entire time I've been seeing them.
To top it all off, they're charging $35 dollars to send off a fucking letter for my disability accomidations that's on a fucking form, on top of the $200 for more time sitting then actually talking with anybody. I started looking for a new psych when I got home because I didn't even make it off the interstate before I started crying. I just feel like a stupid piggy bank.
[Rant/Rave] Fuck Senior Year
/u/nwae1997
Created: Mon Aug 27 22:08:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9avsfc/fuck_senior_year/
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So Iām a senior in college and Iāve been restricting a lot lately, probably the most Iāve restricted since I was a senior in high school and itās feeling honestly okay.
My friends today wanted to go out to eat and have a pig out but I didnāt want to. They jumped on me and argued that itās senior year and we shouldnāt care but like I do and Iām okay with that. I get that this is supposed to be an amazing time so why shouldnāt I try my hardest to look my best.
I get that after this year Iāll be an adult and Iāll have time then to get in shape but why not keep up the habit now? Why put it off until Iām even bigger and have even less motivation? Iām just not ready to give up because itās my last year.
Not sure where else I could begin to talk about this
/u/Moloi-Jimai [5ā2ā / F / SW: 160 CW: 135 GW: 115]
Created: Mon Aug 27 22:04:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9avrge/not_sure_where_else_i_could_begin_to_talk_about/
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Thereās a boy at my work that I really like. Well, I should say, I crave carnivorously, heās fit with tattoos everywhere, these concrete abs, piercing blue eyes: heās gorgeous. Almost no personality to speak of, heās just kind of quiet and sometimes cracks a joke or two. So anyway, weāve flirted a bit.. tonight he finally asked me to get a drink with him, so having had less than 200 calories today I was thinking āyeah I have room for vodka calories/ it shouldnāt take much to get me fun-tipsy.ā
Anywayyyy I take him back to my car after, we start to fool around but after I take my clothes off, his .. uh.. āmemberā.. started to shrink back up, and he excused himself and walked back to his car.
Iām like, so entirely crushed right now that I never want to eat again. Like he must have been as disgusted by my body as I am. I want to starve myself into nonexistence.
TLDR; the guy Iāve been wanting to bang finally was reciprocating but changed his mind when he saw my tummy rolls.
[Rant/Rave] FINALLY finished a really huge project and I feel like I can get back in control.
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 175 lbs | 30.63 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 21:56:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9avpn4/finally_finished_a_really_huge_project_and_i_feel/
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So I'm a freelance photographer in addition to working full time because I apparently hate myself and want every day of my existence to be consumed by suffering as I wither away in the blue light from a computer screen :)
​
BUT today I finally finished the photos from a wedding I shot about five weeks ago. It was by far my greatest challenge so far in photography and I was incredibly anxious/procrastinating/stressed over editing the photos. For the past week or so as I approached (and then missed!!!) my self-imposed deadline, I've been less and less in control with food. Today I finally cracked and binged/purged on horrible fast food because my full time job was so stressful and I knew I was just going to come home and go right back to work.
But I'm finished now. I'm uploading the finished photos to the client's drive and I feel like I can BREATHE again.
I'm weighing myself on September 1st with a bunch of other people here and I feel like I can crush the next few days and lose another pound or two before then.
​
TLDR; I was being a lazy fuck but now I'm finished with a giant photoshoot and I can go back to being in control and having a life <3
[Other] Emptying my stomach through Mia.
/u/MyBunnyisMean
Created: Mon Aug 27 21:50:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9avobo/emptying_my_stomach_through_mia/
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Iāve rarely made myself throw up in the past, I did it because I had some privacy and I ate a little extra that I shouldnāt have. I didnāt like it. Iām more about restricting a lot.
Itās been awhile but I forced myself to throw up again today. I didnāt have as much privacy as Iād like but no one was close enough to the bathroom to notice. It felt really good.. I didnāt need to do it, I just had some oatmeal in the morning and then I fast until 6pm. But I was stressed today. I was so stressed that I was constantly dissociating in class. I donāt want this to be a coping mechanism to stress or intense emotions but, just this one time, it felt really good to empty my stomach during a moment where I felt like my head was going to explode. I donāt know, exactly, how I feel about all this though..
[Discussion] PSA: DONāT DRINK ON AN EMPTY STOMACH
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 148 | lw: 102 | ugw: 98 | 18F | š: starvingprincess]
Created: Mon Aug 27 21:41:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9avm7b/psa_dont_drink_on_an_empty_stomach/
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sorry for the long post. anyone who has me on peach already knows what went down this weekend, but i just need to share this story for you all because drinking and eds absolutely do not get along and i want you all to be more careful than i was.
so iām a college freshman, and i moved into my dorm last week. i have no friends so i havenāt been eating because i refuse to eat alone in the dining hall. i also have a really hard time staying hydrated when i canāt just go to the kitchen and get pour myself a glass of water whenever iām thirsty. so from wednesday-saturday, i barely ate and i was really dehydrated.
saturday night, i went to a frat party. i pregamed with a girl i met the night before. we drank straight whiskey and went to the party. then we couldnāt find the beer so we went back to her dorm and got a big bottle of vodka and each had a few pulls then put it in her backpack to go to the party.
last thing i remember was drinking vodka in the bathroom with some girls. then i woke up in the hospital with an iv in my arm and another in my hand and i was hooked up to a heart rate monitor. i was still drunk and this was at 6 in the morning when i woke up. i had to text my parents and my dad came to the hospital to take me back to my dorm.
the girl i was drinking with texted me the next day asking how i was and she said i was literally unresponsive that night when they called the ambulance. the nurse told me i wouldnāt even bleed when i came in.
iām fine now, and since the hospital replenished my fluids and i threw up a lot of what was in my system, i was perfectly fine after a few hours of sleep and some food. but seriously guys, be careful. i drank no more than anyone else i was with and they didnāt even black out, and iām bigger than one of them. this had to do with my own irresponsibility with not eating or drinking anything before letting this happen (obviously i was irresponsible with alcohol too).
i see a lot of posts on here about ādrunkorexiaā and i just really need to get this out so you guys can be more careful when drinking. donāt end up like me. please at the very least make sure youāre hydrated and eat something before drinking. love yāall, be careful out there ā¤ļø
[Rant/Rave] Eating everything while travelling - loving it but also canāt wait to get home and control everything again?
/u/creepycreeper27
Created: Mon Aug 27 21:25:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9avigi/eating_everything_while_travelling_loving_it_but/
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I am currently halfway through a 4 month US road trip and have eaten EVERYTHING - why do yāall have such delicious food?!
I was terrified Iād put on weight and with no scale to keep track I was panicking. But when I finally found a scale at an Airbnb I had somehow done the opposite and lost 0.5kg!! Weāve done a lot of hikes etc. but we also ate at buffets where Iāve MASSIVELY binged eughhh.
One part of me loves travelling, experiencing new foods and the freedom of it all, but the other part secretly canāt wait to get back home and start logging everything into MFP and restricting again - has anyone else come across something similar??
Thanks for allowing me to put thoughts on a page everyone, such a supportive community!! <3
[Other] Does anyone else feel kind of happy about their ED side affects? (possibly a TW)
/u/purplecat78
Created: Mon Aug 27 20:46:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9av99h/does_anyone_else_feel_kind_of_happy_about_their/
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I know that like logically when I google side effects of bulimia that I'm supposed to be afraid of the side affects but honestly I don't. I've been purging since like last December and I haven't started feeling the side affects until now (feeling light headed, cracked/red knuckles, drowsiness, headaches). I don't know what I feel about it, but it's definitely not fear. I honestly maybe am a little excited even though it sounds fucked up. It's like whenever I started purging you couldn't even really tell and I didn't feel anything different except feeling less bloated, but now it's like what I'm doing is having a affect on my body, which possibly gives me a sense of control? I don't know. Haha I'm so fucked up.
[Rant/Rave] Living with others is such a constraint!
/u/androgynousgoals
Created: Mon Aug 27 20:27:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9av4mn/living_with_others_is_such_a_constraint/
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I've been gaining so much weight over the summer because I'm back home and ugh its awful. I can't restrict because then my parents get suspicious and I can't purge because the house has thin walls. So now I just end up binging and feeling shitty about myself until the next day til I binge again and the cycle keeps repeating. I feel like I've gained so much and become this goddamn land whale that i was trying not to be. Fuck...
Dealing with new painful stretch marks on my inner thighs :(
/u/milkseedly
Created: Mon Aug 27 20:25:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9av41y/dealing_with_new_painful_stretch_marks_on_my/
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This is maddening guys. I would love to hear if anyone has dealt with this? My thighs recently developed a ton of little red/purple stretch marks and they are causing terrible nerve pain even when my clothes touch them. This pain started 3 days ago. I feel helpless and i've convinced myself that this pain is permanent. I've literally been walking around the house like i'm straddling a horse & crying in between anxiety attacks all day. I hope maybe someone can relate to this and tell me that it gets better
[Rant/Rave] "you're not overweight.."
/u/scaledrops
Created: Mon Aug 27 20:04:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9auyvz/youre_not_overweight/
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does this bother yall?
i mean, i know im overweight. quite literally for my height and stuff i am overweight. to put it plainly
ive been struggling with body dysmorphia and an ED for years and this sentence pisses me off the most.
like i get that you think i dont look overweight, but its not a compliment when you say it like that. its a fucking fact and my ed riddled brain is not having fun arguing with you
i cant open up to my friends about my issues because of this same god damn sentence
[Other] The only downside to being so light is...
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 š» CW: 93lbs š» 21F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 19:54:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9auwat/the_only_downside_to_being_so_light_is/
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When your boyfriend finds it entertaining to bully you by silently sneaking up behind you (randomly ofc), grab you under the pits, and lift you 7 feet into the air while simultaneously screaming lines such as:
āHELL IN A CELL!!!ā
āAND HIS NAME IS JOOHHHN CENNNAAA!ā
āTHIS IS WWE SMACKDOWN RAWWW!ā
I damn near piss myself every time. I swear to gravy one of these days heās going to RKO me.
End rant. Have a good night folks š
[Discussion] DAE find there taste is different restricting?
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 152 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -10 Lost | f21]
Created: Mon Aug 27 19:50:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9auv9s/dae_find_there_taste_is_different_restricting/
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Tonight's snack was plain yogurt with a cup of strawberries and blueberries and I thought it was incredible. I find when I'm restricting I like more simple and maybe considered "plain" meals. vegtables with little to no seasoning, protein just cooked without added steps or recipes(except chili, love chili), Plain toast, Cottage cheese without anything else, Basically zero added sugar. It's really like I apreciate the taste more when I'm hungry, It's not necessarily because of the extra calories either. When I'm not restricting bring on the sugar, sauces and 40 ingredient meals! Lmao.
[Rant/Rave] Iām so stupid
/u/throwmoneyatme223388
Created: Mon Aug 27 19:27:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aupeo/im_so_stupid/
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I was getting closer to my goal weight. I could feel my ribs more, I was barely getting hungry anymore, and I was feeling great.
And then I met a guy. Heās the opposite of what I usually like, but Iām smitten with him. The only issue is my friends think heās gay.
I canāt tell for sure, but we were messaging today on Facebook and he made a somewhat sexual comment so I assumed he wasnāt gay.
Anyway, we kept talking and then he just didnāt reply. Usually, Iām not like this at all. I usually push people away, but I really like him. Since I like him so much, seeing that he read my message and didnāt reply completely stressed me out. I just binged on microwave waffles and halo top. Iām so upset with myself. No wonder he didnāt fucking reply to me, who wants to talk to a fat bitch?
[Rant/Rave] Iām gonna make it today. Iām gonna make it Iām gonna make it Iām gonna make it.
/u/rotting_the_crown
Created: Mon Aug 27 19:25:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9auoyv/im_gonna_make_it_today_im_gonna_make_it_im_gonna/
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Iām gonna make it today!!! Iām trying to be Healthyā¢ and have set my calorie goal to 1200 (!!!) because I felt like a huge fuck up when I set it to 500 and ended up bingeing when I inevitably (duh) broke 500, and didnāt work out. Because Iām lazy, obviously.
If I set my calories to 1200 and pick lightly active (somewhat reasonable), I can hit 125 lb by the time my high school reunion rolls round in mid November.
Iām at 1121 cal and Iām heavily vaping (Healthyā¢) to keep my mouth busy and Iām gonna make. This Monday is THE MONDAY.
Iām. Gonna. Make. It.
Godspeed.
[Help] Best exercises for small legs
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Mon Aug 27 19:20:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aunsl/best_exercises_for_small_legs/
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I want small thighs and was hoping exercise could help. But I donāt want to bulk up. Rather something in conjunction with OMAD to help lose weight and target certain areas.
Podcasts?
/u/low-cal-pies
Created: Mon Aug 27 19:04:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aujrn/podcasts/
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Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to try distracting myself. What are your favorite podcasts? Preferably ED related but I also like comedy and true crime
8 years on, I am sick of recovery
/u/40dayliquidfast
Created: Mon Aug 27 18:56:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9auhts/8_years_on_i_am_sick_of_recovery/
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Eight years ago I spent a few months in treatment for my ED, been weight restored since.
It's never gotten better and I am sick of recovery.
I did everything you're supposed to. Therapy, no scales, no counting, no behaviors for years. And I feel like I'm living in hell still. The dysmorphia never improved. I still cry and have panic attacks on a biweekly basis putting on my clothes. Right now I can feel my bra strap cutting into my ribs and I want to rip my skin off - even though I know if I check it won't actually be tight. I just never habituated to the feeling of my clothing. Ever. Such a small normal thing, you're supposed to not be able to feel that shit, it's a neural thing, but I feel it every second of my life. I feel tortured.
I got a BA, an MS, and now I'm working on my PhD. I have almost no school debt, a fiance, and I'm a damn published author. I should have all the self esteem but instead my headspace is 80% loathing my fat ass.
I'm done. I'm going back. It wasn't better when I was underweight, but at least I felt like I'd accomplished something.
[Discussion] does anyone else ultimately want to recover, but want to see how far you can take it first?
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 107|16.7|UGW: 103|F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 18:49:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aug6d/does_anyone_else_ultimately_want_to_recover_but/
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the title explains it pretty well, but yeah. i'm balls deep in a relapse rn and i'm quite a few pounds lighter than i was before i 'recovered' last time (re: binged all the weight back) and i'm really excited/scared. ultimately yes, i want to accept my body for what it is and not be terrified of eating but god damn i want to see how thin i can get. i want to know what my body looks like at lower and lower weights. i feel like in the end the only thing that will make me recover is being in such poor health that i can't function but first, while i'm still kickin', i want to go as far as i can. does anyone else feel this way? it feels almost 'fake' like i'm planning for it to be a phase, but idk. i just know that it's not sustainable to live this way
Struggled with ED in high school, maintained weight until 2010 when I started to balloon and couldnāt stop binging for 8 years. Iām ready for a change.
/u/closedeyesgetfed
Created: Mon Aug 27 18:47:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aufqt/struggled_with_ed_in_high_school_maintained/
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Iāve gained 100 lbs since high school. Iām 5ā10ā and 270lbs. I need help.
[Other] If you wrote a memoir/autobiography about your life
/u/runner_618 [5'5 | 116.8 lbs | HW 126.6 lbs | GW1 115 | GW2 108 lbs | UGW104 ]
Created: Mon Aug 27 18:35:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aucp6/if_you_wrote_a_memoirautobiography_about_your_life/
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What would the title be?
I feel like my brain is only filled with thoughts about my body and I hate it
/u/catacomical
Created: Mon Aug 27 18:15:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9au7of/i_feel_like_my_brain_is_only_filled_with_thoughts/
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Subtitles for my thoughts most days include:
- will I binge?
- will I purge?
- what will I eat for x meal?
- how can I avoid eating during x social outing/date/arrangement?
- when will I go to the gym?
- whatās the lowest calorie option I can get at this restaurant without looking weird?
- I hate my face
- I hate my body
- welp gained 0.5lbs from yesterdayās binge
- Iām not going out today because of that
- I purged so Iām too tired to study so Iāll guess Iāll waste another day doing absolutely nothing š
- lost 0.5lbs yay! better binge to self sabotage
But the biggest and most depressing thought I have is:
Iām wasting so much of my mental energy into this disease. I used to be an extremely high achieving, driven, loving and fun person and now Iām a shell of a human being superficially fixated on a body and a face that will deteriorate with age and time anyway. I base my life around an unachievable ideal, around numbers and inches and pounds that donāt really matter. I feel stupid and vain and selfish. I feel like a waste of time and space and money. I really want to get better but when youāre drowning in so much self loathing and hatred - where do you even start?
Started college...
/u/fxuk [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Mon Aug 27 18:11:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9au6kb/started_college/
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Hi everyone. I started college earlier this week and I kind of feel horrible...I can't exercise as much because I'm in a triple and theres always someone in the room. Ive been hardcore restricting and I feel like shit the entire time. I also have like 1 friend and im super lonely and I miss my kitties and home :( I need someone to talk to...
Back again. Alternative title: things are getting much worse
/u/low-cal-pies
Created: Mon Aug 27 18:10:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9au6gg/back_again_alternative_title_things_are_getting/
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Been coming here on and off for awhile. Lately I've been trying to "recover" but that's over now. My husband just told me he is asexual. I know rationally that it doesn't mean anything about me and I still love him very much. But holy shit I can't stop thinking that its because of me. I'm so disgusting and fat and maybe if I wasn't he would be attracted to me. I never wanna eat again.
I know this is really childish and stupid but I can't talk to anyone about it.
Why do I spend $6 at Starbucks just to immediately proceed to throw it all up
/u/Thtcrazygiraffe
Created: Mon Aug 27 17:53:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9au2aj/why_do_i_spend_6_at_starbucks_just_to_immediately/
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Like didnāt even make it out of the building. I filled their bathroom up with bright prink strawberry Frappuccino puke. SO glamorous
[Discussion] Is there anything that would convince you, that you are not fat?
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1 | CW 189 |BMI 25 | WL -181 | M]
Created: Mon Aug 27 17:53:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9au28i/is_there_anything_that_would_convince_you_that/
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I've been thinking about this today. I'm finally at a normal weight according to BMI (down from a very high BMI) and I'm even fairly muscular so the BMI is probably over-estimating how fat I am.
But I still look super fat (or at least I think I do). I know I have at least some body dysmorphia (but part of me also thinks that I'm just fat and think I have dysmorphia... like most people with dysmorphia). Restricting makes me feel better every day I do it, but I worry I'm pushing myself toward an mirage of an oasis I'll never reach.
Has anyone found a way to convince themselves that they are not as fat as they think? Or like did getting to any weight actually help? I'm gonna guess the answer is not because after losing my first 100 lbs, I basically can't see a difference anymore.
[Rant/Rave] i hate the stupid fucking new bmi
/u/manfromanother-place [5ā1.75 | CW:102.5 | GW: 98 | 19.62]
Created: Mon Aug 27 17:39:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9atymv/i_hate_the_stupid_fucking_new_bmi/
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i know itās just an arbitrary number but with the new bmi 96 pounds is underweight instead of 100 for my height AND it is .7 higher :(
[Help] Ice cream vs anxiety
/u/xxmybrokendreamsxx
Created: Mon Aug 27 17:38:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9atyhh/ice_cream_vs_anxiety/
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I'm going for ice cream tomorrow and I feel so guilty about it but I promised I would go. How do I eat it without gorging myself and feeling guilty?
Less than 10 days until university starts again and I couldn't be more excited!
/u/laisserai [4'11| cw: š³ | F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 17:32:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9atwxj/less_than_10_days_until_university_starts_again/
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School takes up so much of my time that I don't have time to think about other things...aka food.
It's my last semester of my undergrad and although I'm only taking 4 classes they're pretty tough!
Tuesdays and Thursdays I'm at school from 930am-630pm! I can restrict all day and then eat dinner at home (not suspicious for my parents).
I know in a few weeks I'll be super stressed over school but right now I'm excited to be able to devote my mind to school and not eating :)
[Discussion] DAE compair themselves to r/petitegonewild
/u/damnbitchimfatasf
Created: Mon Aug 27 17:24:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9atuw2/dae_compair_themselves_to_rpetitegonewild/
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Ok I know it's sick but i frequently visit that subreddit for thinspo,and it's actually becoming a problem.
Sometimes when I'm restricting and scrolling down my tl I will get the urge to eat something or anything, a post will come up and I'll feel like complete shit and be like "wow my fat ass doesn't need to eat." It's fuel
[Rant/Rave] My friend is amazing, I love her so much
/u/The_Immortal_Unicorn [167cm | cw: 62kg | gw: 52kg | 17f]
Created: Mon Aug 27 17:22:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9atuhf/my_friend_is_amazing_i_love_her_so_much/
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I feel obligated to tell you guys that my best friend just spent an hour giving me tips on how to feel less depressed. One of those tips was to have a better sleeping schedule, she immediately realised my sleeping schedule is pretty much non-existent (and has always been that way), so she spent another 30 minutes making a list to make me both physically and mentally tired enough to fall asleep. I cannot believe that anyone would actually care enough about me to spend this much time to help me.
Another one of her tips was about eating. She knows about my eating disorder, so she told me to eat at least healthy, even if I'm not eating enough. She's one of the first people I told about my ed who focuses on getting me to eat healthy instead of just enough (but probably unhealthy)
My binge today
/u/beetobeeme
Created: Mon Aug 27 17:17:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9att3k/my_binge_today/
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Because I have to write it in all its terribleness. I had a super stressful day and taking a few days off my EC stack killed me. Starting healthy then... Ugh
- 1cup blueberries
- tablespoon oats
- tablespoon shaved coconut
- 2 tablespoons peanut butter
- 1 cup egg salad
- 3 seltzers (I was really trying to curb my appetite here)
- Swiss light hot chocolate
- 4 kedem Orange biscuits
- 1 scoop of Peppermint stick ice cream from the local ice cream shop
- 1 mcchicken
- small fries
- 16oz finback IPA
- 2 shots vodka with seltzer
Wish I didn't my stress out on food :/ today was a bust after 2 weeks of good eating
[Other] my mom got our cat new food and she lost a lot of weight so naturally....im jealous of my cat
/u/kurtisskinny [165cm | CW 155 | BMI 25.8 | ? | 21F:cake:]
Created: Mon Aug 27 17:00:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9atod7/my_mom_got_our_cat_new_food_and_she_lost_a_lot_of/
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thats all.
[Rant/Rave] Frustration overload
/u/curvylucifer [5'2 | cw 130 | gw115 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 16:59:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ato6k/frustration_overload/
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I love my job. I really do. But as a massage therapist sometimes I hear the dumbest things. For reference, I have a decent background in Kinesiology and Personal Training. So get this, working on my 5th client of the day (fyi, freaking starving cause my lunch was cut and I didn't eat breakfast per the usual...) And this rude lady I've worked on before says that she needs me to use less lotion... I casually ask what for and she responds saying that shes on this new diet program and she can't use alot of lotions because of this diet. APPARENTLY, when your body is trying to use/burn fat it takes it from the easiest source. So if there's lotion on the skin then what will the body use instead of its internal stores? That's right folks, she claims that the body will absorb the lotion and metabolize those fats before the internal fats stored.
​
Now... correct me if I'm wrong but this sounds horribly wrong and just plain outright dumb.... Right?
​
Sorry if this comes off as rude but I'm frustrated and hungry and this just made me chuckle and think that people will come up with any excuse why they cant stop shoveling food in their mouth and lose weight.
A safe delicious snack!
/u/coffeehearts [5'5" | CW 126.8 | GW 116 | BMI 21.1 | F(26)]
Created: Mon Aug 27 16:47:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9atkzm/a_safe_delicious_snack/
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Seaweed snacks are a salty and savory alternative to potato chips that I have recently rediscovered. The two brands I've had are Seasnax and Gimme Organic Roasted Seaweed. Been noshing on a teriyaki flavor. 25 cals per serving and 50 cals per pack. Also full of nutrients! Might have been mentioned before but wanted to share for anyone looking for a safe snack :)
Sorry for bad quality but how many cups of rice do you think this is???
/u/manfromanother-place [5ā1.75 | CW:104 GW:98 | 19.2 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 16:45:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9atkgq/sorry_for_bad_quality_but_how_many_cups_of_rice/
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https://i.redd.it/yjff98hhspi11.jpg
on not having a female shape
/u/heartfiend1
Created: Mon Aug 27 16:43:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9atju2/on_not_having_a_female_shape/
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I hate my body so much and don't know what to do. 5"7, 105 pounds and straight up and down like a ruler. No matter how skinny I get, I have an unhealthy waist to hip ratio because my hips are so narrow (like 32 inches) and my breasts are small Bs. I touch my stomach and there is no/very little fat but there is no curve inward, just straight up and down, barely changing at the hips. I have itsy bitsy spider legs and arms. And when I'm bloated it REALLY shows.
​
I don't know what to do - when I gain weight, it all goes to my stomach. When I lose weight, it all goes from my thighs and boobs (I used to be 85 pounds and looked so weird). I weight train regularly but I feel like it just makes me look more masculine. None of the curves I hoped I would gain.
​
The worst is that all my fears about being unfeminine are being confirmed - I am only 30 and already have osteoporosis because of a history of ed, amorrhenea, and possibly low estrogen. I probably can't have children. I feel so manly and gross - if I read another article about how hourglass figures are fertile and beautiful and ideal, I think I'll scream. Even when I'm severely underweight my waist to hip ratio puts me in an unhealthy range (my waist never ever goes below 26 inches, even with a severely underweight BMI). I feel like I receive conflicting messages all the time: keep you waist to hip ratio low but keep your BMI up high. There is no way in hell I will ever be able to have both.
​
I am considering going on hormone therapy (estrogen). Do you think this will help give me more of an hourglass shape or will the weight all go to my stomach? I just want to feel slightly more female. I want to be able to have children and I want to feel healthy and desirable.
​
Can anyone give me advice or commiserate? I feel so freakish and lonely.
[Rant/Rave] RIDIN THAT STRUGGLE BUS STRAIGHT TO HELL
/u/fiascofiesta [5'7" | 131.4 | 20.51 | 23F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 16:39:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9atini/ridin_that_struggle_bus_straight_to_hell/
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god iāve been having such a SHIT time the past few weeks. i keep gaining and losing the same 8 pounds. everyone keeps telling me to eat. my therapist wants to preemptively hospitalize me (not for anything ED related, more so for bipolar). iām drinking so much and iām starving and binging and cutting myself and crying and sleeping and i feel like iām in a different fucking dimension and everything is so heavy and dismal.
thereās literally no point to this post, i just donāt have anyone i can turn to. my therapist says my support system has run dry and i need to turn somewhere else but WHERE DO I TURN. i donāt wanna go to the hospital but iām so sick and i donāt know what other options i have. if i donāt get help right now, iāll try to kill myself again by the end of the year. and iām sick of wanting to die, and trying to die. iām sick of almost accidentally killing myself because i cut too deep. iām sick of passing out at work from not eating and pretending to be ill. people are noticing, and commenting, and iām getting sent home. my managers are worried about me. my doctors are worried about me. but where are my friends??? my family??? i feel like iām flailing and drowning and i canāt find purchase to pull myself out of this lake.
whatever. iām fine. iām always fine. iām just so fucking tired of this cycle.
[Rant/Rave] Why canāt I just be a normal fucking person?
/u/sunshineandpuppies98
Created: Mon Aug 27 16:18:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9atd4q/why_cant_i_just_be_a_normal_fucking_person/
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I just b/p an entire bag of this maple bacon flavoured popcorn when I wasnāt even fucking hungry and it wasnāt even good and the whole time I just kept thinking like why couldnāt I have just not eaten it because I wasnt fucking hungry and why couldnāt I have just stopped eating it and thrown it out when I realized it wasnāt good and I didnāt like it???
Like thatās what normal people do when they donāt like something they just donāt fucking eat it
They donāt eat the whole bag and then spend 15 minutes throwing it up
Now Iām bloated and puffy and feel like crap and it wasnāt even good or worth it!!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Lost my Fitbit and my grip on life
/u/delaneyjay
Created: Mon Aug 27 16:02:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9at8h9/lost_my_fitbit_and_my_grip_on_life/
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Well. I finally did it. My Fitbit was practically a part of me and only came off in the shower. Yesterday I went to work and forgot to put it back on. And surprise! When I got back it was nowhere to be found. Itās not anywhere in the house. Ruling out extremes like, I sleepwalked and threw it out or someone broke in and stole just my Fitbit, itās gone. And Iām panic!
This has happened a couple times before admittedly with my wallet or passport or drivers licenseā Iāll turn the house upside down and inside out and back again looking for it, and then when I give up itāll swoop in on golden wings and slap me in the face
Anyway, this is causing me a lot more anxiety than I should. I canāt track anything about my life, steps or heart rate or calories burned or sleep. Which is admittedly kind of stupid but Iām still worried... I mean how am I supposed to know anything!!
And onto the second half of the title. Iāve gained more weight and look fatter too. No big I guess /s. My friend/crush/partner in crime has moved away to college, āonlyā an hour away so easy to see but only on holidays and breaks.
Thatās all I guess. Thanks for listening to my rant. Rip in peace my sanity
I just want to sleep
/u/annjovi
Created: Mon Aug 27 15:50:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9at5cj/i_just_want_to_sleep/
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I have been (not diagnosed but whatever) bulimic for like 5 years now, I am 18. And I can't f*ckin do this anymore. Fourth day binging today. I feel fat, everything is bloated, even my cheeks feel fat. I have a sour taste in my mouth, it's almost midnight and I have to get up early to school tomorrow. But I ways need like 10 hours of sleep after b/p just to function normally. I haven't had a proper shower or meal in 3 days. I feel disgusting. Also in school I have no friends, I am constantly anxious, in breaks I always leave the school and go cry somewhere where nobody sees me. I feel so embarrassed. I am such a failure. My eating disorders is just the icing on the top of all my other problems. I just wanna die rn. Not saying that I'll kill myself, I won't, but tbh, if I continue with my ed this way I realistically won't have much life to live left. I should be way more scared of that than I am. I just wanna turn on Autopilot all through tomorrow and SLEEP. Please, I just want to sleep for a week and reset everything. Life is just too much for me. Rant end.
Gonna delete later just needed to get this off my chest.
I'm so happy right now
/u/isdrunknskinnyathing [5'2" | CW 110 | GW1 102 | GW2 95 ]
Created: Mon Aug 27 15:43:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9at3g5/im_so_happy_right_now/
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Omg guys. So this week I was meeting my dad up at my grandpa's house to stay a few nights. My step-grandma, who I have always known, is so extremely judgmental about people's weights. The first time I remember her commenting on mine was when I was about 12 and had finally gotten out of the underweight category I had been in my whole life. She gave me a slice of cake then when I had finished it said something like "you've gained a lot of weight, isdrunknskinnyathing". Like woah. I'm literally a child. That whole side of the family is fucked, but anyways. So I was prepared for major triggering while I was here and have been restricting to about 400-500 cal/day. I just didn't want to fuel her fire.
​
​
Another relevant point is that my dad is really into photography. He's spent more on hobbies like this then on my entire childhood, BUT I DIGEST. Every time he takes pictures of me they come out looking horrible. I'm used to this, so I try not to let it get to me (at least until I'm alone). Just very wide, chubby looking face. I know its gonna happen so I just ignore it.
​
​
WELL! We all went out to dinner tonight and he took some pictures of me with my aunt. We were scrolling through them later on his camera and they looked horrible as per ushe(?). When we get to those ones he stops AND THE DRAGON LADY ACTUALLY SAID
​
"That doesn't look like isdrunknskinnyathing at all!"
​
So I'm thinking fuck can this be true? Is this not my ED making me see them this way? And my dad says
​
"Isdrunknskinnyathing is really hard to photograph cause she's so pale that the flash always washes her out on my camera and the lens makes her face look wide"
​
\*HALLELUJAH CHORUS PLAYS BLARINGLY THROUGHOUT MY SOUL\*
​
Mother. Fuckin. Validation. And to top off a pretty good night, the permed wonder later referred to me as tiny. So I'm on cloud fucking nine right now. How are you alls nights going?
Eating from the trash
/u/ramargo [5'8" | huge | gelatinous brickhouse | F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 15:18:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aswem/eating_from_the_trash/
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I just ate my roommateās stale ciabatta bread from a full garbage can. Stale bread with hints of day old coffee grinds and banana peel. How are you guys?
[Help] If I do OMAD But eat normal portions on the weekend, will I continue to lose weight?
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 116 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Mon Aug 27 15:13:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9asuyo/if_i_do_omad_but_eat_normal_portions_on_the/
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I just freak out when im with my bf and we eat together. Itās so much food easily 1000 calories on Saturday. I feel like all my work goes to shit.
Frustrated and at Wits End
/u/Psychological_Gold
Created: Mon Aug 27 15:06:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9asswx/frustrated_and_at_wits_end/
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This may sound like nothing more than a rant and I figured this \*might\* be the correct group to post to. If not, please let me know and I'll figure out where this should go.
​
Alright, so long story so I'll say Tl;DR : I'm doing literally everything I feel that I can and I'm not losing weight and have in fact GAINED weight and it's killing me. I could use suggestions or anything really.
​
At my lowest ever (aside from being a kid) I was 120lbs. I'd like to get to that weight again or lower. I'm currently 30 years old, female and ....weigh 160 lbs right now. Just typing that out makes me cringe and hate myself. Around 2 years ago I weighed around 130-140lbs which I was "okay" with. I started doing the Keto diet and didn't really notice that it caused me to lose weight at all. Maybe a pound or two the whole time I was on it (maybe a year or less?) In between that time I also tried Weight Watchers which actually made me GAIN weight instead of lose. For over 3 years and counting I've been working out with a personal trainer 3x a week. I've tried intermittent fasting which I didn't see any weight change with that either. I've tried eliminating carbs as much as possible. I do not eat sugary items (unless it's a diet soda or the occasional treat which is rare). I've tried eliminating cheese and dairy -no change. I've tried eating organic and whole foods...again, no change and have actually gained weight. I will say that I was prescribed an antipsychotic but have been off it for almost 6 months now. My GP had me on a drug that was supposed to help with weight loss (can't remember the name of it) and that didn't change anything. She refuses to do any blood work or run any tests because according to my nutritionist the GP has "accessed me up and down and it's due to my mood stabilizer or anti-depressant drugs". I call bullshit. I'm seeing a nutritionist, I'm still working out--and mind you it's not "easy" working out. It's lifting weights, running, going until I hit body fatigue sometimes. This is THE BIGGEST source of depression for me and I can't even describe the feelings it makes me feel towards myself and the doctors I encounter.
​
I'm asking for any advice, suggestions, recommendations, if anyone else has had this issue and what did they do...anything really. Thank you for taking the time to read this!
​
​
Any other trans folks in this sub?
/u/transedthrowaway
Created: Mon Aug 27 15:05:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9assru/any_other_trans_folks_in_this_sub/
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I'm mostly curious because I find that my struggle with ED (bulimia, B+P, anorexia) as a trans man ties in a lot with my gender dysphoria. When I gain weight it goes right to my chest and hips but not my waist, so even as a fat guy (208 lbs, but I was 245 around this same time last year) I still have an hourglass figure which strongly contributes to people perceiving me as a woman. It's not quite as dramatic as it was before I started HRT, but the fat redistribution only changed my figure a little bit - not enough to really be noticeable.
My biggest motivation to lose weight is to get a skinny, androgynous figure so that way people will stop instantly assuming "girl" when they look at my body. That, and my surgeon wants me to lose at least 15 lbs before my top surgery next year lmao
Idk, if there are any other trans people in this sub who are comfortable discussing it, is your weight connected to dysphoria in any way? And has there been anything you've been able to do to combat it? (Besides the nightmare that is ED, anyway)
[Other] No fear
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 105 | 19.2 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 14:52:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9asor0/no_fear/
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-walks into staff room, finds it filled with cakes and peanut butter and cheesy soups and bagels-
Serving size: 2+ fears
Noodles and company knows my personality too well.
/u/skydiver89 [5'4" CW 133 GW 125 UGW 115]
Created: Mon Aug 27 14:44:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9asm9w/noodles_and_company_knows_my_personality_too_well/
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https://imgur.com/e7S0GKl
[Help] How do I not drop dead on Sunday?
/u/ilonacamille
Created: Mon Aug 27 14:43:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aslu2/how_do_i_not_drop_dead_on_sunday/
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So a while ago I signed up for āBattle of Thorā which is an obstacle run. I spend 40 euros on it so Iām not going to skip it.
Basically you run 7km (mainly in the woods and grass fields) and there are a lot of intense obstacles. Crawling through mud, monkey bars(?), swimming, high walls,...
What should I eat the day before/that day if I want to survive the entire run? I get a banana and proteinbar at the finish.
Iām anxious because I feel like Iām āruiningā everything by eating but I realise that it could get really bad if I donāt have at least some food to help me through.
Gonna start EC stacking
/u/audreyhepburnwho [25F | 5'8 | cw 159 | hw 196 | sw 172 | lw 150 | ugw 145]
Created: Mon Aug 27 14:25:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9asgin/gonna_start_ec_stacking/
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I already live on caffeine, gonna add ephedrine. I ordered bronkaid online, which cost me a good penny but I'm soooo curious to try it. At this point I'm really good with fasting for consecutive days so I've been getting results from that but I just can't help being curious how EC stacking could make it easier. I've only seen good reviews about it. I'm gonna make a post once I start and make a whole experiment out of it. I'm gonna share how much I lose in a week or two on it, what my intake is during that time so I can also compare to how much I've lost without it.
Anyone here currently EC stacking?
[Help] Most weight lost
/u/amysweetpea [5'4 | SW191 | CW152 | GW95.5 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 14:07:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9asba8/most_weight_lost/
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I have a holiday in 40 days, I was just wondering the most weight people have lost in that time? I'm starting at a higher weight because of a long binge lol. I'm about 160 (I'm too scared to weigh rn) how much do you think I could lose from your own experiences?
[Discussion] r/IntermittentFasting and r/1200isplenty are this subreddit in disguise
/u/neptunestatss
Created: Mon Aug 27 14:07:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9asb9d/rintermittentfasting_and_r1200isplenty_are_this/
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[Discussion] dae get super triggered by anger
/u/cactirootz [4'11 | 84 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 13:54:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9as7b8/dae_get_super_triggered_by_anger/
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like not even anger about ed related stuff. whenever anything pisses me off, iām so fucking motivated to restrict. i think itās my bpd because i feel like it makes me want to do other reckless and impulsive shit. also maybe the control factor?? like i just found out that my bf is driving his (really gross and annoying) coworker to get his car at a shop almost an hour away when we usually go to a car meet every monday and he was like āarenāt you coming to drive him up too?ā and idk why, probably because my 2nd dose of vyvanse just kicked in but that made me so irrationally angry. iām literally so pissed right now and that makes me want to do bad things to myself like purge even tho i havenāt eaten in 34 hours. ugh
TIL that a whole head of cauliflower has 17g of protein.
/u/LunaticalPitties
Created: Mon Aug 27 13:52:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9as6ja/til_that_a_whole_head_of_cauliflower_has_17g_of/
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220 calories. Yep. I ate a whole head of cauliflower.
[Rant/Rave] Thank you, popcorn
/u/smalltits_mcgee
Created: Mon Aug 27 13:45:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9as4fr/thank_you_popcorn/
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3.5 cups for 150 cals? what a deal
[Rant/Rave] Ugh getting set off grocery shopping
/u/Backhereagainn [5'2 | 152 | Aiming for 146 by 9/25 | -10 Lost | f21]
Created: Mon Aug 27 13:33:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9as0n8/ugh_getting_set_off_grocery_shopping/
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I really hate buying food, "I shouldn't buy this, I already have more food than I need, Calorie count is wrong" added in we got pizza for dinner ughhh. I'm completely changing how much/when I eat right now which is already stressful as shit and I'm freaked out by just food in general.
I'm going to get a cherry bubbly, Unwrap my squishy and go back to binge watching Shameless before I die from anxiety.
Can we talk dental insurance?
/u/LeOssa
Created: Mon Aug 27 13:14:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aruxq/can_we_talk_dental_insurance/
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I'd probably get more pertinent (albeit, fewer) results in r/proEDadults but I'm kind of frazzled.
I'm wondering what the BEST dental insurance I can get would be for a short about of time. I just need it long enough to get all the fillings I need.
Even the low cost clinic near me charges 250 a filling and I need upwards of 10. Possibly more.
Bulimia is bad kids, mmmkay.
[Help] Question about pooping
/u/evaa98
Created: Mon Aug 27 13:08:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9art3z/question_about_pooping/
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What do you do to still being able to poop while restricting? I don't want to take laxatives. I am trying dryed plums right now but I am not sure if it works
Thanks a lot š
[Discussion] What are the ways you lie to yourself that how youāre eating is fine and that your ED is getting better
/u/sunnshine67 [5'4 Vampire| GW1: 120 | CW:141 | -24 | ]
Created: Mon Aug 27 13:06:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9arsia/what_are_the_ways_you_lie_to_yourself_that_how/
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I know my ED is actually getting worse but i justify it because I could lose 20 pounds and still be in the healthy BMI range. I might only eat 300 cals a day and drink more caffeine then I should but since I donāt log my black coffee, tea, gum or spices, Iām defiantly in total control and not being disordered, just disciplined (LOL).
I'm my own worst enemy
/u/clare988
Created: Mon Aug 27 13:03:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9arrrc/im_my_own_worst_enemy/
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I've been restricting really well and when I weighed myself this morning I was 7st 13.6 lb.. was pretty happy cos I hate being over 8 stone and I felt it was gonna be easy to hit my goal weight before I start uni in October.
Hahahah but turns out my brain had other ideas. I was really really tired today because I went out last night and got in at 4am...I took mdma which USUALLY suppresses my appetite beautifully but today.. well.. I probably consumed about 2000 calories out of sluggish boredom. I started my day at 12.30 with a large bowl of home made fruit crumble, telling myself that this was fine because it would be my OMAD and was at most 550 calories. Nah. Throughout the day I followed this delightful healthy (jk) breakfast with a slice of buttered marmite bread, two oatcakes with reduced fat cream cheese and pesto, about 10 nuts, two chocolate rice cakes, a slice of cake, a teaspoon of Nutella and a few spoonfuls of home made curry. Finished with more crumble just for good measure.
WHY DO I SELF SABOTAGE LIKE THIS?? I'm praying to any God that'll listen to my greedy ass that this was no more than 2000 but idk honestly.
Really I feel like my instances of overconsumption are triggered by my restriction: I don't have fear foods exactly but eating 500 calories a day doesn't allow for much fun (or good nutrition tbh) in my diet so when I kinda feel like I've fucked up by starting my day with dessert part of my brain is like YASSSS you've already fucked up now just eat anything and everything you'd usually want to but can't hahahah let's go mental!!!!
I don't really ever over eat to the point of feeling sick and honestly spread across the whole day this hasn't even left me feeling too full. Basically I just feel physically satisfied for once but mentally I am DISSATISFIED and longing for the hunger pangs that usually I find painful. Tomorrow will be depressing seeing the scale go up to like 8st 2lb again. Mostly water weight but still........... I'm either fasting or at worst eating >400 calories.
Thx for listening to my frustrated ramblings kids
too hungry to concentrate on work
/u/theleftoveryou
Created: Mon Aug 27 13:00:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9arqi2/too_hungry_to_concentrate_on_work/
---
I'm giving an important presentation at work tomorrow and still have finishing touches I need to put on it but I'm too hungry to concentrate. I already had a small dinner and can't bring myself to eat more because it will be more important to eat before the presentation tomorrow so I don't fuck it up. Of course the rational thing to do would be to eat now AND tomorrow, but we can't have that now, can we? I guess I'll drink a coke zero and hope it helps :(
Do you ever just want to end your life?
/u/facesonplaces
Created: Mon Aug 27 12:58:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9arq0i/do_you_ever_just_want_to_end_your_life/
---
I canāt get into treatment. I canāt starve myself perfectly. I canāt stop binging and purging. My life is becoming too expensive and I am too depressed to keep looking for help. I feel like everything is fighting against me and Iām the one whoās not doing anything right. I really want to end it all. I want people to know that these diseases kill. I donāt know why Iām posting here. I just need some solidarity. It will never get better. 18 years since I first purged and itās been a fiery hellscape ever since. At this point I feel like it only makes sense to throw in the towel.
Have you ever known an ED sufferer who ended their life?
[Help] TMI... I need advice. š©
/u/skinthin [5'0| 100 | 19.3 | 35 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 12:53:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aror9/tmi_i_need_advice/
---
Hey guys. I need some help regarding my BMs. Itās been exactly two weeks since Iāve taken a poop, and over two weeks since I have pooped without a laxative. I havenāt been able to go in so long, and about two weeks ago I took a laxative and it gave me such bad stomach pains that I almost passed out on the toilet and had to have my boyfriend come sit with me while I shat and cried. I donāt know whatās up, and I donāt want to see a doctor. Iāve upped my calorie intake to 700 calories a day and have been eating more fiber and drinking lots of coffee and prune juice but absolutely nothing is working and Iām too scared to take another laxative until I get sorted out. Any of you got any tips to get my bowels moving naturally? Iām terrified that because Iām not pooping Iām just storing all the food inside me and gaining weight from it. Help me pls, Iāll try anything at this point!
TGH
/u/throwawayyaaaaay123
Created: Mon Aug 27 12:41:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9arktx/tgh/
---
Has anyone been a patient in the ED program at TGH in Toronto? Iāve been on the waiting list for a long time now, and Iāll probably get a spot soon, so Iām starting to worry abt what itāll be like. If you have experiences to share, I would really appreciate hearing about them! Thanks.
Mmmmmm
/u/mladyisthename
Created: Mon Aug 27 12:40:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9arkip/mmmmmm/
---
https://i.redd.it/6nnxewbpkoi11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm so happy rn
/u/NovANDP [5'4" | 166 lb | 28.5 | 15 lb | Trying]
Created: Mon Aug 27 12:30:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9arhv6/im_so_happy_rn/
---
I'm at the doctor office, and I was just told that I've lost 20 pound in 4 months!! But I think I can try to lose faster...
[Rant/Rave] Decided to binge real hard while only being 2 kg away from gw
/u/thinraindrop
Created: Mon Aug 27 11:55:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ar6np/decided_to_binge_real_hard_while_only_being_2_kg/
---
Yo I am the biggest failure. Last week I restricted like totally amazing. Im talking the kind of restriction where everything in life is under control. I knew exactly what was in my fridge and on what days I would eat certain things etc.
Then the weekend came around and now I've been binging like super hard for three days straight. All I can think about is how all my progress is lost. I only have 2 kg to go and I hate myself for fucking up.
I'm feeling super sick rn because of how full I am but I promised myself not to purge anymore. I have to go to work in about one hour and I really just want to curl up in bed and die or something.
Also, two "friends" of mine have been spreading rumors about me relapsing again since they found laxatives in my purse. So that totally sucks.
Okay rant over.
Tldr: I am a piece of shit
Why do I hate myself so much
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Mon Aug 27 11:30:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aqyvv/why_do_i_hate_myself_so_much/
---
After weighing myself last week on accident and realising I only lost 3 kgs. I have self sabotaged massively. I have spent since Friday shoveling food into my mouth. I have managed to fight to urge to purge, but I just feel so disgusting and full. I'm bloated and I feel sick from all the sugar and fat
Why do I do this to myself? Is it punishment? Do I really hate myself so much I am going to go through these cycles forever.
I'm going to fast tomorrow and then start omad, but I just feel so out of control.
It's like I'm a junk food vampire, once I have a taste for sugar and fat I can't stop
Fml
take it where you can find it
/u/paleartichoke
Created: Mon Aug 27 11:29:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aqyhn/take_it_where_you_can_find_it/
---
I am a new nurse, which has kicked my eating/food hangups into overdrive since it is now constant checks and balances--I have to eat enough to function for work but I also want to keep losing. I gained a lot in nursing school and it grosses me out. So that's motivating me atm.
I had an interaction that gave me the warm fuzzies. But I had no one to share it with because it's kind of a twisted thing to be happy about. Anyways an elderly patient's daughter called me to clarify some things she had heard from my patient's husband. She said "all he told me was that the skinny nurse who hands out medications gave me this paperwork--god dad, that could have been anyone!". BUT it was definitely me and the comment gave me such a little buzz. I hope some of you can relate (:
[Rant/Rave] gonna b/p when i get home, anyone else?
/u/relativeletter6 [161cm | 55.1kg | gw 50kg]
Created: Mon Aug 27 11:29:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aqy9x/gonna_bp_when_i_get_home_anyone_else/
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went back to school today, been restricting kinda low for two days prior (i fucking hate restricting), just want to fucking BINGE and eat 4000 calories of salty food without gaining lmfao.
not asking for advice just curious if anyone else started school today and is b/pāing outta stress
rip 3 days purge free uwu
[Help] How to get back on track? :(
/u/baby---
Created: Mon Aug 27 11:27:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aqxog/how_to_get_back_on_track/
---
Hi,
Iāve struggled with disordered eating for a longgggg time now (around 7 years) but about a year ago (i know itās been ages) i decides to ārecoverā.
This basically means I binge eat all day, every day whilst crying whenever I look at myself in the mirror, weighing myself whenever Iām near scales and hating myself incessantly and now that Iām fat, even more so than before.
I can physically see myself my legs get bigger whenever I eat.
I have ballooned up to the point of obesity, so I wasted ages of hard work and restriction.
Does anyone else have phases like this? How do you get out of them? I seriously want to die...
Freedom in University
/u/gregorrryyy [6'1"|CW:178|SW:186|GW:150|Male]
Created: Mon Aug 27 11:26:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aqxh6/freedom_in_university/
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I'm writing this as I await my first class at university. I'm honestly so excited because I hate being at home all summer and having my family see my eating habits. At uni, no one really cares and I have so much freedom to choose what I eat; or if I even want to eat. I never thought I would be as excited about school as I currently am.
[Goal] Entered the 120ās today - first time in 2+ years š
/u/ketothrowaway95 [5'2.5" | CW 133 | BMI 23.9 | -54 | UGW 99 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 11:18:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aqv4c/entered_the_120s_today_first_time_in_2_years/
---
Iām on day 6 of an extended 0cal fast - I started at 134 and as of today... 129.4!! Since Iām on my period I did NOT expect to whoosh at all.
Iām fasting all day tomorrow as well, and breaking my fast on Wednesday with 200cal of liquids (low cal yogurt (70) and broccoli soup with instant broth (5), 1 cup broccoli (25) and 1/2 tbsp chili oil (60). I have my whole week planned - going to a wedding on Friday and I hope to be down to 126/127 by then.
It also helps that I walk to and from school - should average about 7 miles a day. Itās crazy how much energy I have in a fasted state!
age and bmi
/u/HotMessCentral
Created: Mon Aug 27 11:04:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aqqgg/age_and_bmi/
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My bmi is quite underweight and my ribs and collarbones and hipbones stick out and im always fucking cold. However, when you take the age adjusted bmi calculator im just on the lower end of normal fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck my life.
[Rant/Rave] I fucked up :-)
/u/urfavoritehalflight [5ā7 | 135 bs | BMI 21 | -65 lbs | 20M]
Created: Mon Aug 27 10:57:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aqnz2/i_fucked_up/
---
We had a party at my apartment last night and pretty much all of my friends came and were having a good time. For context, I live with my best friend and my boyfriend. I had only had about 250~ish calories that day but I got crossfaded on like 4-5 huge hits of weed and a limearita tall boy. Within like 20 minutes I was literally incapable of moving my body and was fading in and out of consciousness. My boyfriend and friends were really concerned and moved me to my bed and kept an eye on me. Theyāre also aware of my ED and that i hadnāt eaten much that day which is probably why it affected me so badly. They tried to make me eat some rice just to get some carbs in my stomach but i couldnāt even hold the fork, i only got a couple of pathetic bites in before giving up. I had completely lost control of my body which triggered a severe anxiety attack and made everything worse. My friend called my mom and asked her what to do and she told them to take me to the ER, also outing my eating problems to her at the same time (apparently she was suspicious already so thatās fucking great). My friend had to literally pick me up and carry me out to my other friends car and once we got to the ER they had to put me in a wheelchair to bring me inside. They took my vitals and they were okay enough that they said i probably just drank too much and sent me back home. They asked me how much I weigh and I told them, and it was the first time my bf found out my weight. I honestly donāt remember like 75% of what happened but it was absolutely horrifying and embarrassing and I woke up this morning to discover my boyfriend deleted loseit last night while he had my phone to call my mom. So now everyone is worried which makes me feel so guilty and on top of that, everyone is probably gonna be on me like white on rice from here on, including my mom. Not to mention itās the first day of the new semester and Iām more hungover than iāve ever been in my entire life. Moral of the story? Uh... donāt drink and smoke a ton of weed on an empty stomach i guess? I donāt know. Iām just feeling really ashamed of myself. Sorry this is worded so badly I just needed to get my feelings out somewhere.
OMAD questions
/u/dorisholliday
Created: Mon Aug 27 10:47:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aql1j/omad_questions/
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I had planned to start OMAD this week, mostly because I have an injury and haven't been able to work out and no calories burned = no calories earned for me. My one meal is going to be dinner, because my kid and husband and I always have family dinner at the end of the day. (Usually I eat lunch, later in the afternoon fruit/protein bar, and then dinner in the evening.)
Today is the first day I'm doing it. I'm so hungry. I'm just trying to fill the void with water and coffee. So, for seasoned OMAD-ers: is it going to be this way forever? Or does your body adapt to realizing it's only getting one meal a day? I'm high-key concerned that I'll end up going over my preferred calorie goal at dinner. How many calories do you eat for you meal? I keep telling myself, "Only X more hours until dinner."
I am also struggling with the fact that when I was younger I could fast for days, and now I'm having trouble with 18 fucking hours.
[Discussion] What do you guys get from iherb and amazon?
/u/Yourtiming
Created: Mon Aug 27 10:28:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aqf3x/what_do_you_guys_get_from_iherb_and_amazon/
---
Iāve been doing well with my diet and I thought I should probably mix up my snacks and meals up. What do you guys usually buy to eat or drink online?
[Help] Can anorexic make you infertile?
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 116 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Mon Aug 27 10:11:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aq9yu/can_anorexic_make_you_infertile/
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I hate my fertility and it was that amenhorrea can happen. Does this mean you are infertile? I want to get rid of my fertility.
Social eating? Watch people eat food? WTF American Mukbang with boyfriend | Watch us eat
/u/FALLENTEE
Created: Mon Aug 27 10:09:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aq99e/social_eating_watch_people_eat_food_wtf_american/
---
https://youtu.be/HpxrWV06A4s
[Discussion] I just want to eat
/u/imgonnaloseitall [173cm | cw66.8kg | gw59kg | F |]
Created: Mon Aug 27 10:09:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aq99b/i_just_want_to_eat/
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I feel like I could eat as many rice cakes as I want, I could stuff them down my throat until my stomach is close to exploding - but I would still be hungry.
None of the safe foods feel like FOOD. I want to enjoy eating again, I donāt just want to take up space. Itās weird I donāt know
Fun weekend
/u/InSkyLimitEra [AN-R]
Created: Mon Aug 27 10:00:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aq6b6/fun_weekend/
---
Boy did relapse get tempting this weekend.
My mom came in town to visit and brought a bunch of my sisterās... hand-me-ups?... to have me try on despite my protests. Naturally, she made me anyway and I proceeded to have to see just how disgusting I look in all sorts of clothes Iāve never seen myself in before. Gross.
We went to a restaurant and I tried to order something I thought would be small and low calorie. It was large and high calorie and I ate the whole goddamn thing anyway.
The worst was when my mentor and I were texting back and forth and we were talking about bourbon/whiskey cabinets (random, I know). I sent him the only picture I have of mine, which involves a picture of me from a time when I was quite underweight. I have pictures of myself that look really sick from that weekend, but admittedly in this particular picture, I looked somewhat more normal.
I said parenthetically, āitās hard to believe that I almost didnāt go home that weekend because I was embarrassed that I weighed so much.ā My implication was that I thought I looked thin. He must not have understood, because he said something like, āI know you have an unusual relationship with food and weight, but for once, just take the complimentāyou look GREAT in that picture!ā
I was like ā...yeah, I know, thatās because I was super-underweight. But thanks.ā He changed the subject.
Heās a doctor and around that weight/time had told me that I looked way too thin. But now being told I looked great by a doctor makes me feel like a failure, like I didnāt get light enough for it to be apparent that I was sick. Again, that particular picture hid it somewhat.
But still, just... ugh. āBad things come in 3s,ā as they say, and this makes me want to never eat again. Unfortunately, I have to :(
[Rant/Rave] I donāt feel well
/u/twa1238
Created: Mon Aug 27 09:59:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aq5sx/i_dont_feel_well/
---
Iāve eaten 600 calories yesterday evening after fasting for two days and I feel ill since. Had to eat a 200 calories breakfast with fruit and yogurt at work today and feel worse. I know I ate too much yesterday but I couldnāt make myself purge, Iāve tried forever and nothing came up.
Iāve tried it again today, I feel like Iām going to throw up my whole mouth feels terrible but still, nothing comes up!????! I just want to be empty I feel so sick
Iām so angry at myself I KNEW I should have eaten something light and small yesterday after the first time Fasting again but I got scared of going into ED territory again and thought it might be better to eat something caloric and now I just want to die (I also weigh 0,6kilo more than yesterday morning so thereās that)
[Rant/Rave] Rant about sizing issues
/u/mcsweeniesweenies
Created: Mon Aug 27 09:53:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aq43h/rant_about_sizing_issues/
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Delete if not allowed, first time poster been lurking a while though.
I was doing my measurements today and found my underbust is now 36.5inches (which is better than my 44 previously) but I was confused as to how my bras, which I purchased when I was at a 40in band, still fit because it makes me feel as if Iām not really losing you know? So I measure my actual bra at the band and it comes to a whopping 35 inches. Literally RIGHT above my measuring tape the bra clearly says 40INCHES.
Iām happy I lost but this really just confused the shit out of me. I hate clothes and sizing and shopping. Fml.
[Rant/Rave] Having an ED = constantly letting people down
/u/sigvi
Created: Mon Aug 27 09:39:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9apznm/having_an_ed_constantly_letting_people_down/
---
I always forget that my ED affects the people in my life. I recently canceled a meeting at an eating disorder center and everyone around me freaked out. My teacher, whoās sort of been helping me with my issues (itās really weird I know), was really upset and said that what I did wasnāt okay at all. My best friend was mad and so was my sister.
I know it makes sense that theyāre upset, but it just makes me wish I never told anyone in my life about my problems. It can be a relief when you first do it but I kinda wish they would just forget about it after a while. But they donāt. They expect you to get better. They want you to be happy. They want to check up on you. They ask you how youāre doing and they want you to be honest.
Itās very sweet that they care, I understand that. But it also makes me want to punch them in the face and scream at them to mind their own business.
I do want to be normal and get help. But sometimes I just want to be left alone to binge and/or starve as much as I want. Just me and my ED.
I shouldāve never told anyone. Iām doomed to be a disappointment forever. Ughhhh I just LOVE my life
[Rant/Rave] My BFs roommate is an ass.
/u/Panda_Melody [5'5 | CW: 125| BMI: 21.05|HW: 168 | LW: 108 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 09:37:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9apz3o/my_bfs_roommate_is_an_ass/
---
Warning: long, possibly triggering.
TLDR: went to visit out of town BF for the weekend. Got verbally harassed by his Stupid gym crazy roommate.
Background: So I started seeing this guy about a month ago (weāre not official yet but we are only seeing each other. For convenience sake well call him my BF) and he lives an hour and a half away now cause school.
I came down this weekend to visit and Iāve been in hard core restriction mode lately because I gained like 20lbs (yay binge cycle!)and have to fit into my jeans for fall (canāt afford to buy more atm)
Theyāre both hard core gym nuts. Very big muscley guys and they eat a fuck load (cause they have to, theyāre huge)
Anyways, breakfast time rolls around and theyāre making these huge omelettes and bacon and all this horrifyingly calorific nonsence and Iām just sticking with my coffee. BF just drops it cause itās as per usual for me. But his FUCKING ROOMMATE starts going on about how BF needs to āput some meat on my bonesā and how coffee isnāt breakfast blah blah blah. I let it slide because well, coffee isnāt breakfast but the thought of food in the am makes me sick to my stomach.
Lunch time... BF and I decide weāre going to make corn dogs ( definitely not my choice but theyāre only 230cal for one so Iāll do one for lunch) BF is having 3 cause heās huge. Here comes roommate with his opinion and how I āhavenāt eaten anything all day and now Iām only having ONE corn dogā and now Iām really starting to get irritated. These guys are med students... They should know that if someone my size ate like they did Iād be 400 freaking pounds. So I politely let roommate know this and that a single corn dog is (more than) adequate for me. He mumbles something I didnāt catch and goes back to studying.
Dinner time (aka the fun part)
BF and Roommate decide to make fried rice (fuck me oh my god I was freaking out) I knew this was going to be awful, and though it wasnāt as bad as I thought, it was still rough.
BF proceeds to make the most fried rice in the world. So much butter, so much egg, pork, and like HALF THE FUCKING BOTTLE OF SOY SAUCE!!!! GOOD GOD MAN YOURE GONNA GIVE US BOTH A HEART ATTACK ! It ended up being too salty for me to even stomach eating I felt pretty bad cause he put a bit of effort into it. But he understood and offered to make me a new batch... (fuq) (he ate my serving of the salty awful rice,2 whole plates...HOW) the new batch was much better but he plopped down this MASSIVE plate of rice in front of me. I managed to get away with only eating like 5-6 bites and I was able to push the rest to one side of the plate and it made it look like I ate like half the plate lol. So, ROOMMATE chimes in āthatās all youāre gonna eat? You need to eat more youāre too tinyā(im not tiny at all, heās just like 250lbs of muscle) and āare you coming to the gym with us in the am?ā No Iām not. I donāt like working out (in front of people) āwell what if we told you exactly what to do?ā No thank you. Iām good. He just would not fucking drop it. I got fed up and lost it on him. Basically that he needs to mind his own business about my dietary habits and if I felt like going to the gym with them I would have gone any of the other times my BF has invited me. (He always asks if I want to join him when he leaves and respects when I say no the first time and doesnāt push. He just lets me know Iām welcome which I think is really sweet)
So ya. Sorry for how jumbled my thoughts were. It was pretty stressful, and for the record my BF is a sweet guy and means well. He did chime in on my behalf a few times but he knows that I can speak for myself, so he mainly stayed out of it.
[Discussion] dae still eat like shit?
/u/itsyaboifranzi
Created: Mon Aug 27 09:35:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9apyfg/dae_still_eat_like_shit/
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im talkin like pizza rolls, chips and every other kind of junk food. i dont get to eat much of it bc of how low my limit is but i still eat it every day i actually eat, also kinda unrelated but ngl im hoping one day i'm thin enough for someone to wonder how i can eat such bad food and stay so thin tbh
Any diets youāve always wanted to try?
/u/MOSEDalt
Created: Mon Aug 27 09:32:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9apxjd/any_diets_youve_always_wanted_to_try/
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Iām starting a 21 day rice mono diet when school starts, but Iām looking for some ideas. Iām open to pretty much anything except high protein (the fat content is difficult to balance for me)
So, if anybody has diets that theyāve always wanted to try, hit me up and Iāll log it for you!
[Discussion] It amazes me that people still drink full calorie sodas
/u/audreyhepburnwho [25F | 5'8 | cw 159 | hw 196 | sw 172 | lw 150 | ugw 145]
Created: Mon Aug 27 09:26:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9apvon/it_amazes_me_that_people_still_drink_full_calorie/
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No joke, mine and a coworkers shelves at work include empty cans of exactly the same drinks: lipton sparkling ice tea, rockstar energy drink, and coca cola. Except she has all three in the regular versions and I have them in the zero/light versions loool. I noticed it this morning and thought it was funny af. But like i dont get it. Even if you're not worrying about your weight (which, not to be mean but she's visibly obese), why waste calories on them? I get that a lot of people think sweeteners are the devil but it's so alien to me. Even when I'm in binge cycles where i can easily down 4000 cals a day and not give a fuck, I'll still get the zero calorie sodas.
[Discussion] Exercise and appetite control
/u/eva1588
Created: Mon Aug 27 09:24:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9apuw5/exercise_and_appetite_control/
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I didn't do my usually 50 minutes of cardio yesterday. And I got a lot less hungrier, especially at night. I am wondering if I should work out less to control the appetite.... Anyone here find working out helpful or harmful to appetite control?
[Discussion] anyone else triggered to binge on an unstructured ānothing going onā kinda day?
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5ā8ā| CW: idk on purpose| BMI: obese |20F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 09:20:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aptuo/anyone_else_triggered_to_binge_on_an_unstructured/
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i had the weekend off from my retail job and i bought a bunch of binge food from the grocery store bc..... i honestly canāt say??? and now that itās in my house i NEED TO EAT IT. mostly so i can begin a fast right after but...
the whole reason i left the house was because i was feeling depressed, so i went shopping, but iām on a no-buy for pretty much everything i own because iām uncontrollable in all aspects of my life, not just eating.
tbh iām a mess and now thereās pringles in the pantry and yogurt covered pretzels and goddamn i wanna eat it all
[Goal] 120 by 21
/u/LumosErin [5'5.5" | 131-132 | 21.5-21.6 | GW: 115-120 | 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 09:14:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aprob/120_by_21/
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Today, August 27 is the first day of school. (To my knowledge): I am 131-132 lbs.
My goal weight (120 lbs) will hopefully be reached by October 26- my 21st birthday. It WILL be reached.
Letās do this.
Disgusted, starting over
/u/tsutsuu
Created: Mon Aug 27 09:07:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9appit/disgusted_starting_over/
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I'm feeling so disgusting. My anorexia started when I was 13. It continued till I was about 16. From 17-19 my anorexic thoughts were extremely mild and it was almost gone. But then. College time. I started binge eating because of my anxiety/stress/bad feelings. I'm living alone now so it's more difficult to control my eating. Ironic. But back at my parent's house I was too embarrassed to eat. Here instead, I can eat without anyone seeing. But doing that, backfired. The new semester is starting in a week and I feel so fat and ugly. My face has always been kind of round but now it's even more round. My jeans are feeling quite tight and I still eat unhealthy snacks. Today I thought that this is the day, I stop eating all that garbage. But it didn't happen. I'm feeling so fucking anxious and I hate the stomach rolls I have now. I used to be about 49-50kg but now I bet I am like 55kg. For some people it might not seem like a lot but it's a big deal for me. I'm going to start fasting again. There's still about week and I have a little bit of time to do something to this problem. I just...ugh.. I dislike my body. I want to be skinnier again. And reach my goal weight that used to be about 45kg, but I never reached it. I want it. I need to take action.
[Discussion] Non-diet looking Zero calorie drinks?
/u/monday-mundane
Created: Mon Aug 27 09:03:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9apo7l/nondiet_looking_zero_calorie_drinks/
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I can't buy diet soda when out with my family because it makes me look disordered. I also told them I was quitting sodas because it gave me an excuse to refuse one if they tried to offer me a full sugar one.
What are some good alternatives to grab when at the store, preferably without a big 'DIET' label slapped on? I hate most sparkling water (ICE is really good though..) but refuse to drink any liquid calories, 10 at most. What are some drinks you like that don't look suspicious?
Thank you in advance š
[Rant/Rave] In a shit mood because of the scale this morning
/u/2ndfirstday [5'5" | 101 lbs | 16.8 BMI | -3 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 09:02:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9apnn4/in_a_shit_mood_because_of_the_scale_this_morning/
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Stepped on and was ecstatic because it read 98.9 lbs. Then I stepped off and back on again. 101.0. again. 101.0. 101.0 101.0 again again again on and off and on and off 101.0
​
i'm fucking pissed and i hate everything
Is anyone on here in therapy?
/u/Paisleybabe
Created: Mon Aug 27 08:50:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9apk76/is_anyone_on_here_in_therapy/
---
Do you talk about you ED or other struggles you have? What's your general feeling towards therapy? Is it helping?
I'll be starting therapy soon and I'm still debating on whether or not I want to open up about my ED
[Rant/Rave] *colapses to tge floor* WHYYYYYY
/u/foxlatte [5'8" ā” sw: 196.2 cw: 193.2 ā” gw: 130 ā” 22f]
Created: Mon Aug 27 08:28:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9apdr2/colapses_to_tge_floor_whyyyyyy/
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basically, I bought a six pack of this frozen yakisoba to take to work and heat up for lunch! I was super excited, and have already taken it once, because it was only 220 calories. I recently redownloaded lose it and went to scan it and 440 calories came up... and I looked and sure enough. 220 per serving, 12 servings in the box. there's 6 individual packages..... FUCK! GOD WHY CANT COMPANIES JUST SAY HOW MANY CALORIES PER PACKAGE. NO ONE IS GOING TO HEAT EAT A HALF PACKAGE.
Fasting
/u/cherryxnut
Created: Mon Aug 27 07:11:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aot3g/fasting/
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This is my third attempt at a 24 hour fast. I am on 24 hours. I planned on eating about 500 cals when the 24 hours arrived. Now Iām thinking whatās the point in fasting if Iām gonna eat my daily calories pretty much at once? So now I feel like I canāt eat and I should continue fasting. I feel... scared and controlled? I donāt know if that makes sense. But Iām dizzy and light headed. Anyone else experienced this?
My mother triggered me and when I got upset she got angry
/u/Tear-in-my-heart
Created: Mon Aug 27 06:50:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aonmu/my_mother_triggered_me_and_when_i_got_upset_she/
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Today my mum went shopping and for some unknown reason decided to buy me a pair of trousers which were two sizes bigger than I would usually fit into and itās strange because she knows what size I usually am in clothes. I was so inwardly upset because itās obvious that she sees me as this giant whale even though I have been losing weight. It really drove my body dysmorphia into overdrive and I feel so hideous and disgusting. She asked what was wrong and I reluctantly told her that it was because she bought me two sizes up in trousers and it made me feel bad. She proceeded to get really angry at me and say that she didnāt know why I was upset, she said that she knows that I like my food and that the way Iām eating that Iāll fit into them in no time. I binged for the first time in weeks last night after an almost two day fast because I was upset about something. I havenāt eaten at all today. She knows that I have an unhealthy relationship with food but she doesnāt take it seriously. All I want to do is hide away. I feel like I never want to eat another crumb again. Iām sorry Iām ranting here but I just kind of needed to let this all out.
r/fatpeoplehate alternatives?
/u/hshashshsbsvwoshsudv
Created: Mon Aug 27 06:37:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aoke2/rfatpeoplehate_alternatives/
---
Fucked up request I know, but hear me out. Throwaway account obviously.
I can't stop bingeing, I used to be able to control it better by hating myself because of fatpeoplehate but that's now gone, also thinspo is basically a porn subreddit now which is fucked up.
I need the toxic environment or some proper inspiration to combat the binges, I'd rather fuck myself up mentally because thats a better alternative, at least for me, than purging, or doing coke which is expensive but my only option since caffeine no longer works on me.
So if anyone knows where I can get content as such let me know, or PM me if you want to be anonymous.
Thanks for your understanding.
Weekly Stats Update! August 27, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 27 06:14:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aoezp/weekly_stats_update_august_27_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for August 27, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 27, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 27 06:14:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aoeyk/daily_food_diary_august_27_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 27, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] [NSFW-ish] Welp, this is a slight-issue that comes with weight less that I was NOT expecting
/u/PandiThrowaway1
Created: Mon Aug 27 05:21:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ao39t/nsfwish_welp_this_is_a_slightissue_that_comes/
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So I'm 5'2" and I've lost 18.5 lbs and putting me at a BMI of 23.1, which isn't even skinny by any means but it's my lowest weight in like 3 years. I can feel my ribs way more easily now and I'm VERY ticklish - so as you can imagine, this just makes the ticklish-ness worse when I get intimate with my boyfriend. The last time we were fooling around, I got ticklish from the smallest rubs against my sides and couldn't stop laughing. He definitely noticed that it's something new as previously I guess I had more padding against my ribs that didn't trigger my ticklishness from just general intimacy...
​
Not sure if there's any actual solution for this except for me to just get used to it... and I guess it'll get worse as I lose. Damn.
[Rant/Rave] I hate tall people. (TW!!)
/u/MolarPet27
Created: Mon Aug 27 03:25:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9anh5c/i_hate_tall_people_tw/
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I get barely 1200 calories at maintenance, I have to eat under 1000 to lose anything. Some of yāall really be out here eating 1800+ calories and not gaining. Do you know what I could do with those sweet, precious, glorious calories??? Iām absolutely projecting my insecurity onto others when I say this, but I just feel like tall people who are fat are failing so hard. Like, you can eat 1500 and lose weight, how are you fat at all? I know itās mean Iām just so fucking jealous. I just want to have a normal meal without gaining 5 pounds.
No weigh-ins until September, who's *still* in? (update!)
/u/audreyhepburnwho [25F | 5'8 | cw 159 | hw 196 | sw 172 | lw 150 | ugw 145]
Created: Mon Aug 27 03:16:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9anfky/no_weighins_until_september_whos_still_in_update/
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So I made a post a week ago about not stepping on the scale until September 1st. My motivation for this was a weekend long binge spree, after a while of very good restriction. I new if i saw the weight gain it would trigger me into bingeing more. And i knew once i saw the weight back down it might do the same.... Its a very thin line between a number that is high and makes me give up and one that is so low it makes me think "this is so easy i can totally binge again". I know it's ridiculous but it's not rational. I figured, if i dont know the number i have to stay on track no matter what to make sure I'm still losing.
The first week worked great. I haven't stepped on the scale, which also saves me a LOT of time usually spent calculating when I'll reach a certain weight if i eat a certain amount... Im just doing my absolute best i can each day.
At this point I'm not even sure if i want to weigh on September 1st. Because I'm doing so great, i kinda wanna keep going like this, and weigh when i feel i might be really close to goal. A part of me is still scared that the number wont be that good. Another part is scared it'll be so good that I'll lose motivation to continue as strictly as i have. But im sure whatever number i see when I do weigh-in again, will be much better than whatever i wouldve gotten last week post binge. Who's still going? What are your motivations and when do you plan on weighing?
testpost
/u/FunDragonfly7
Created: Mon Aug 27 03:10:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9anek0/testpost/
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I JUST STUFFED MYSELF with a plate of vegetables
/u/ZoAbii [5"2 | 108.9lbs | 19.8 | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 27 02:46:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9anaj0/i_just_stuffed_myself_with_a_plate_of_vegetables/
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and even tho I know that wont realistically make me gain, I know its gonna show on the scale if I weigh tomorrow bc I feel really heavy right now. I felt so light before. I got to a new low this morning since what I think is my relapse sooo:(
[Rant/Rave] iām a big, f-t sad.
/u/planetskinny
Created: Mon Aug 27 02:45:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ana9l/im_a_big_ft_sad/
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tw - cursing?
iām miserable, hungry, and eating 60 calories worth of celery right now. itās 20 minutes away from 2am and i restricted heavily yesterday. i hope i donāt binge tomorrow.
i fucking hate celery and i donāt know why iām eating it? i guess thatās me with food in general. i try to make myself like food but i just donāt anymore and iām blaming it on my pickiness and disordered eating.
great, now iām c/s. CELERY FOR FUCKāS SAKE. someone tell me iām not alone in this, please...
tdlr; iām c/s celery and being a miserable fuck. also i restricted pretty heavily yesterday.
Hospital staff keep leaving me food and I hate it
/u/pmmesadclowns
Created: Mon Aug 27 02:32:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9an8bs/hospital_staff_keep_leaving_me_food_and_i_hate_it/
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I know itās their job and all but please leave me alone omg. Iām hospitalised for a non-ed reason and theyāre giving me steroids and delivering me food then silently taking the full tray out of my room again an hour later itās so embarrassing. I do quite like the tiny pots of orange juice but with the amount of steroids Iām on theres no way Iām eating.
Looking at nail art REALLY calmed my binge-resisting anxiety
/u/halfcigarette [5'4"| CW: too freaked to check | BMI:20ish | 22F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 01:48:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9an13j/looking_at_nail_art_really_calmed_my/
---
Hope this can work for you, too!
[Other] I just ate a whole pack of gum
/u/cookingwine2 [173CM | CW: 57.1KG | GW: 45KG | 16F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 01:47:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9an10w/i_just_ate_a_whole_pack_of_gum/
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I mean I didnāt eat it, but I chewed it all. I donāt even know why, I think I was bored. Has anyone else done this? At least it only came to around 34 calories lol
[Help] Anyone in China? I'm desperate for safe foods
/u/bridesmaidandpoor
Created: Mon Aug 27 01:27:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9amxob/anyone_in_china_im_desperate_for_safe_foods/
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I don't work in one place and am all over, so I got SO fat from buying food all the time. Cooking isn't an option because I rarely even have access to a kitchen. Help!
[Rant/Rave] Ugh.
/u/xStingx
Created: Mon Aug 27 01:10:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9amuxq/ugh/
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Thought I could get out of eating at my job's taco party tonight. Nope. My coworker bought things specifically for me because I'm vegan. And I didn't want to be rude, nor did I have any other excuses so I ate two tacos and my other coworker bought me plain potato chips because she knows they're my favorite snack. So guess what I'm doing is today? Yup. Starving. Oh and hating myself.
[Rant/Rave] My mom might be jealous...?
/u/remiisme
Created: Mon Aug 27 01:08:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9amuln/my_mom_might_be_jealous/
---
Okay this might totally be me just justifying this Weird Ass behaviour on her part, but seriously sheās pissing me off. Get comfy folks cause this will be a long one.
So okay, Iāve been like on and off ādisorderedā for about 6 years (since I was 14), but really got into the bulimic game when I was 16, but it took me about a year or so to lose any significant weight. Iām 5ā5, 167lbs at the beginning, so yes clinically overweight. I got down to 145 before my mom said anything, keep in mind 145 is a healthy weight for my height AND it took me a YEAR to get there. (Yes, I know technically I wasnāt losing weight in a healthy way but seriously, why are we all here).
Of course she has no idea about the restricting and purging I had been doing, so to all outward appearances I was being healthy, finally getting over my awkward puberty weight gain and slimming down a little, but instead of being supportive or anything remotely positive she actually gets mad at me about it? I was in the kitchen, getting a snack of all things (so obviously Iām eating?) and she just looks at me and says āWhat are you doing? Youāve lost weight.ā I just told Iād been trying to eat healthier (which was at least partially true, I had a pretty shit diet beforehand), and she kinda glares at me and says āWell you can stop nowā in a really harsh tone. Sheās not usually like that at all?
I could have gone into a whole thing about how āitās my body so who gives you the right to tell me what to do with it?ā Especially since I was actually at a healthy weight but I really didnāt want to get into it with her because when she starts to arguing it quickly becomes a huge shit show, so I just said āOkay?ā And walked back to my room.
Literally like a Few Days later Iām sitting in my room minding my own damn business and she fucking BUSTS in the door and yells at me āYouāve been making yourself throw up, havenāt you?!ā And like, yes okay I know I was, but donāt accuse me of doing what I was doing! And besides, what does she expect to accomplish by literally yelling at me for it?? I donāt think ever in the history of ever has screaming at someone made caused them to open up. So if course I just deny the entire thing and sheās going on and on about how thereās āvomit on the toiletā (which if there was it was very minimal - Iām thorough at covering my tracks) and all this other irrelevant shit and Iām pretty good at lying and keeping a straight face so I basically called her out like ādo you even hear yourself right now? What kinda wild accusations are you throwing?ā And eventually she left me alone.
For a bit of backstory here in the middle of this long ass story, my mom used to be pretty thin way back in the day, but she gained a lot of weight when she was pregnant with my younger brother and she never lost it. Sheās tried lots of diets and whatever but she doesnāt stick to anything so nothing works, if anything sheās gotten even bigger. My brother is 15 now, so if she were going to lose the weight Iām pretty sure she would have lost it by now...
So anyway, after that whole incident nothing really happened and neither of us addressed it, so whatever.
I ended up plateauing for over a year at ~145 lbs, then around 8 months ago I did a fasting spree and got down to 124 at my lowest, but ended up gaining most of it back when I got into a relationship, so stuck around 135-140 for a couple months. I also moved out at pretty much the same time, and have been āliving on my ownā for the past six months, although my boyfriend and I spend every night together and he practically lives with me so not exactly.
Which brings up another point, bear with me cause it is related, but heās been trying to lose weight since he lost a lot a couple years ago but ended up gaining it back cause he didnāt maintain his regiment, and recently heās actually been doing very well at eating healthily and exercising every day, which turns out to be super triggering for me as Iām a Lazy Depressiveā¢ļø and canāt get out of bed most days, and there is no in between for Eating Nothing and Eating Absolutely Everything And Purging It All.
But heās been out of town the last month for work which means Iāve truly been on my own and Iāve been binging and purging literally every single day but when I say purging I mean Purging Absolutely Everything, and Iāve lost 8 lbs since heās been gone (just under a month now), so Iām back at 130 or just under, which is still technically a healthy weight, although still 20 lbs away from my goal.
Back to my original point, Iām in a play right now that my mom is directing and just today we had a rehearsal, and after it was over I was really hungry and also bored and goofing around so as people were getting ready to leave I was being silly and dramatic going āIām so hungry! Feed me!!ā just for laughs and my mom was like, āYou should eat. You look thin.ā Again, not in a compassionate way at all but like mad and accusing?? Then she said she was hungry too so we would figure something out for dinner but I Noped the fuck outta there real quick cause I knew that would lead to another āconversationā/accusation session.
Phew, okay, I know that was a long one. Many many thanks to those that made it all the way through. If not:
Tl;dr: my mom gets really pissed at me and yells at me whenever I lose weight, am not even close to underweight, literally she got mad at me for not being overweight any more.
What is up with this?? Does anyone elseās parents or friends/family react this way? I donāt look or act or lose weight really quickly like I have an ED, so for all intents and purposes Iām just being healthier. Not to mention Iām an adult now and sheās still harping on? I donāt even live with her anymore!
2 cents anyone and everyone, Iād really like to hear what you guys have to say about this.
[Other] Awkward Moments at Family Dinners
/u/worrxrrx
Created: Mon Aug 27 00:42:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ampzd/awkward_moments_at_family_dinners/
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Just had the most awkward experience at a family dinner last night.
​
I had put some salad on my plate and was moving it around with my fork instead of eating, and my visiting aunt was wondering why I wasn't eating. Then she and my uncle commented on how slim I was and they said that's how you do it, you have to watch what you eat. I could barely look up except at my mom and my little sister who both know about my ED and I felt so ashamed. She kept talking about it and saying things like I looked so much better than when she last saw me and that she wishes she had that kind of self control and all I'm thinking of is, wow I'm a pathetic person no one wants this kind of self control or self criticism.
​
Idk I felt really awkward and wanted to share the story.
[Discussion] Where do you get your calorie information? How do you measure and track your food? Do you track macros as well?
/u/EDthrowaway8888 [5'6 | 142 | 22.9 | -24 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 27 00:28:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9amnns/where_do_you_get_your_calorie_information_how_do/
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I see some posts (not on here, per se) of peopleās meals and fairly often I see calorie counts that are way off according to what they say they ate. Itāll be like:
āSuch a filling 250 calorie breakfast!ā
But theyāll list (and show): 1 slice toast, 1 egg, 1/2 avocado and 1 oz cheese. No, this is not 250 calories. This is closer to 400.
For me, the most accurate way is MFP and cross referencing with USDA website if needed. I also scan many of the labels which makes it easy. And absolutely weigh in grams. I wish I wasnāt as obsessed, but it is what it is. Whatās your method?
[Rant/Rave] Thank you chocolate
/u/dre-ezy [5ā4 | CW 109 | GW 100 | 18FtM]
Created: Mon Aug 27 00:25:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9amn1x/thank_you_chocolate/
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usually when i binge i turn to carbs and binge like 5000+ calories, this time i only had chocolate and only ate a little bit above maintenence when i was literally too sick to continue
[Discussion] Anyone else SUPER fucked up by "Nobody" by Mitski, or is it just me?
/u/neutralities
Created: Mon Aug 27 00:22:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ammmq/anyone_else_super_fucked_up_by_nobody_by_mitski/
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"I've been big and small / and big and small/ and big and small again / and still nobody wants me, / still nobody wants me."
NOT TO BE DRAMATIC, but I've been listening to this song non-stop and this portion has me completely obsessing over it. It like perfectly encapsures my horrible relationship with my body, and my lack of actual relationships.
Mitski mentioned in her genius analysis of the song that it's about her body appearance, so I'm reassured I'm not reading too much into it anyway haha...
[Discussion] Anyone else use weed to fast/stop yourself from binging?
/u/notyouraveragefruit
Created: Mon Aug 27 00:21:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ammdk/anyone_else_use_weed_to_faststop_yourself_from/
---
Most people say when theyāre high, they get really hungry. But for me itās kind of the oppositeāwhenever I eat when Iām high (no matter how much), Iāll end up getting sick the night of or the next day with stomach problems. This has inadvertently made me not feel hungry at all when high, which is especially useful at night when Iām most likely to binge. Idk if anyone else has this reaction to cannabis or not, was just curious!
Side note Iām mildly allergic to weed so maybe that has something to do with the reaction i donāt know and i donāt really care enough to stop lmao
Panera green tea?
/u/sylas69 [5ā4 | 118 lbs | 20.25 | f]
Created: Sun Aug 26 23:59:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9amiaf/panera_green_tea/
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So thereās a panera next to my school and their passion papaya green tea is really good, but do you guys think itās healthy/does anything good for me? I know green tea is good for metabolism/something with weight. A large cup of the tea is 200 cals there but I figure itād be ok to drink as long as I donāt have anything else. What do you guys think?
Stupidly funny things people say at parties
/u/i-want-to-be-little [5ā2ā | 18F | CW: 117 | GW: 105]
Created: Sun Aug 26 23:34:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9amdm8/stupidly_funny_things_people_say_at_parties/
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āWe donāt have anything for breakfast, but there are enough calories in the beer weāre drinking tonight that it counts for tomorrowā
Yikes but also same
Late night introspection about why I think I have an ED
/u/aworkinprogress_ [5'6 | 116.4 lbs | BMI 18.8 | UGW 102]
Created: Sun Aug 26 23:14:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9am9qa/late_night_introspection_about_why_i_think_i_have/
---
Like the anorexic stereotype, Iāve always been a total perfectionist. And itās always really bothered me that Iām not ābeautifulā. Iām not ugly, some people might even call me pretty. But I definitely donāt look like a model.
And I feel like from this point on, my attractiveness is kind of out of my control. I use the right conditioner, I wear natural looking makeup, I think I have pretty good fashion sense, I have a skincare routine that works for me. But Iām still not gorgeous. And I wonāt be, really ever. My bone structure is kind of shitty, my eyes are too close together, my forehead is too small. And I canāt fix those things with makeup or skincare or drinking more water. Theyāre totally out of my control.
I feel like my ED is letting me live the lie that someday, if I really work for it, then I CAN look like a fucking model. That if I lose 15 lbs and go from a 19 to a 16.8 BMI, then my face will suddenly be amazing and all my problems will be gone. When in reality Iāve kind of done all that I can do in terms of making myself more attractive and Iām still not really that pretty because some things are just out of your control.
Idk if this makes sense at all or if yāall can relate lol but just what Iām thinking rn
[Rant/Rave] taking baby steps
/u/tsumanne [5'4" | hw 160 | cw 124 | gw 108]
Created: Sun Aug 26 22:51:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9am559/taking_baby_steps/
---
today, i deleted myfitnesspal. i want try my hardest to not count calories and obsess over my calories. i want to focus on eating healthy and nutrient-dense foods and exercising. i want to eat when i'm actually hungry, when my body needs the food and nourishment. not when i have "leftover calories" or when i'm emotional.
i know my eating is definitely still going to be disordered in some ways but i'm not going to let this ed suck away my whole life and my energy.
i will enjoy trying new foods and spending time with friends without freaking out and needing to log everything or making excuses to not eat.
i only have one body, and i'm not going to ruin it anymore than i already have.
my body cannot be sustained on just pepsi max and sweet potatoes. it deserves more, and the purpose of my life and of my body is not for me to lose weight. my purpose is to live.
i won't be leaving here anytime soon, but the support you all have given me and everyone else is amazing and i know it's helped so much. i love u all so damn much and i wish i could give each and every single one of u a big fat hug
also. does anyone know how i can get my period back? i haven't had mine for about 5 months and i know it's weird but i want mine back :/ my cycles are normally every 3-4 months and i want them to be more consistent. idk i just dont know much about this or where to start. like are there any foods i should eat more of or are there any vitamins i can take?
deleted mfp!
/u/tsumanne [5'4" | hw 160 | cw 124 | gw 108]
Created: Sun Aug 26 22:39:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9am2qq/deleted_mfp/
---
i decided today that i was gonna delete myfitnesspal and try my hardest to NOT count calories at all and instead focus on eating healthy instead of like shit and actually exercising. i want to eat when i'm hungry and not when i have "leftover calories" or when i'm upset. honestly it was hard to delete mfp it was so damn hard and whenever i eat something i feel like i have to log it but then i remember. oh i deleted it.... it's going to take a looonnng time to get used to not counting and i know my eating is probably still going to be disordered in a way but i don't want this ed to suck away my whole life and my energy. i want to enjoy new foods and time with friends and i want to take bites of foods without freaking out about how much i need to log for it. i'm still gonna be active on here n stuff but i wanna treat my body better and give it what it needs instead of restricting on literally just pepsi max and sweet potatoes!! i honestly love all of u guys for and all the support in this community is amazing
also does anyone know how i can get my period back? i haven't had mine for about 5 months and i want mine back :/ my cycles are normally like every 3-4 months and i want them to be more consistent idk i just dont know much about this or where to start. like are there any foods i should eat more of or are there any vitamins i can take? i know for sure that i'm not pregnant so sjcnznkci
Feeling happy and don't know where else to share š
/u/anhedonicandlaconic
Created: Sun Aug 26 22:33:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9am1gl/feeling_happy_and_dont_know_where_else_to_share/
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Everyone around me at college is honestly so amazing and supportive and I don't even feel weird or out of place right now and it's making me really fucking happy like my friends/boyfriend/roomates all know about my mental health and they never push me to eat or make dumbass comments or laugh at me for talking about it and idk I'm just really grateful right now.
Probably going to delete this later but right now I'm just really fucking happy that I don't feel a need to hide and no one treats me like shit. Even on an institutional level, my college effectively banned my professors from penalizing me for not attending class or not turning in assignments if I'm having a really shit mental health time and skskskskskskssk feels good to be out of my highschool environment.
[Rant/Rave] College is ruining my recovery
/u/peanutbutterbananaa
Created: Sun Aug 26 22:31:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9am0zk/college_is_ruining_my_recovery/
---
Havenāt posted here in awhile, hope everyone is doing well <3
I started college about a week and a half ago, and with college comes fucking meal plans and eating in a dining hall. Iāve been half assing recovery for the better part of a year, but eating in front of people Iām not comfortable with is not something Iāll ever be able to do.
Iāve already lost five pounds and the only things Iāve consumed are Luna bars and energy drinks. I wonāt be anywhere close to being able to eat in front of strangers anytime soon, so this is going to be a terrible year.
Iāve been fixated on weight and appearance since Iāve noticed the weight loss and itās taking all I can do to prevent a full-on relapse but itās just so fricking hard :( Iāve made decent progress and Iām sure itās all gonna go to waste by the end of the semester.
How common are EDs?
/u/ital21978566556432f
Created: Sun Aug 26 22:15:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9alxvb/how_common_are_eds/
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Okay like I know you can find the stats and percentages online but how many people with EDs have you encountered in your lifetime? I've only encountered one person whose admitted to having one but I get the feeling that way more people have EDs than the stats report. Anyone else get this feeling?
Finally away from the 150s.
/u/Hairless_Human [6' | CW 148.8 | BMI 20.2 | WL -131.2 |M 21]
Created: Sun Aug 26 22:11:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9alwwk/finally_away_from_the_150s/
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148.8lbs! Thank you psyllium husk, Thank you naked juices. My ribs are poking out now without me having to suck in and its freakin awesome. I know lots of girls don't like skinny dudes but idgaf. Looking to loose another 48.8lbs.
Vyvanse helps a lot with interrupting my binge benders. But I'm considering switching to ritalin/adderal because my ADHD doesn't improve on Vyvanse.
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Sun Aug 26 22:03:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9alva4/vyvanse_helps_a_lot_with_interrupting_my_binge/
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Would this be a mistake?
My psych has specifically stated that he's only prescribing me Vyvanse for my ADHD. As you may know, it's been approved to treat binge eating as well. However, my psych wants me to deal with ED Services to address the ED.
I'm not in ED Services right now, but on the waitlist for a few more months. The Psych from ED services recommends non-stimulants to treat ADHD in patients with EDs. They are not covered by my insurance, and I also don't want non-stimulants for a few reasons.
My question is:
Has anyone here tried both Vyvanse and Adderal/Ritalin separately? I want to know if Vyvanse is superior to A/R in terms of fending off binges.
I know A/R are stimulants as well and suppress the appetite. I also figure that they could potentially also be approved to "treat binge eating" as well but the companies probably don't care enough to prove it in clinical studies.
**TLDR:** I'm prescribed Vyvanse for ADHD. It doesn't help with ADHD but does help with binge eating (as clinically proven by the makers of Vyvanse). I'm thinking of asking to switch ADHD meds but am afraid of losing the anti-binge benefits. Any experienced advice?
Even my issues have issues.
/u/dalgolak
Created: Sun Aug 26 21:40:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9alqcb/even_my_issues_have_issues/
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Anybody else lose control over the weekend? Like I just kept shoveling food into my face hole and I feel so crappy now. I feel like my brain just keeps messing with me - I'll never be thin enough which means I'll never be good enough. Is it stupid of me to feel like nobody will take me seriously when I'm this gargantuous?
Idk. I guess I just don't have anybody to talk to which in turn makes me thing and overthink about everything making it 10x worse.
Tl;Dr sorry for the low self esteem rant
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] TFW someone says they just 'forgot to eat today'
/u/xz8362614455921r
Created: Sun Aug 26 21:32:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9alok0/rant_tfw_someone_says_they_just_forgot_to_eat/
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Just, like, BRAG about it, why don't you?!
One of my roommates (who doesn't have an ED) is a huge trigger because she just legitimately forgets that food exists? If only!
If I weren't obsessing over food 24/7, I wouldn't binge. I wouldn't obsess over trying to starve again. I couldn't stop obsessing over food/eating in my wildest dreams!!
(Sorry if this is not-relatable!! Had to get it off my chest xo)
[Other] I was stressed so I sketched a few things Iām looking forward to; feeling confident in my dream dress and eating miso paitan with a char siu pork bun. Itās the only time I wonāt mind fasting for a couple days before hand.
/u/MyBunnyisMean
Created: Sun Aug 26 21:19:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9alljv/i_was_stressed_so_i_sketched_a_few_things_im/
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https://i.redd.it/j1q1pexe0ki11.jpg
Revenge weight loss?
/u/faelynnavi
Created: Sun Aug 26 20:58:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9algku/revenge_weight_loss/
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[removed]
In which I weighed steel using my doctor's scale
/u/ScottSteinerPhD [5'8" | CW: 109 | 16.4 | 30M]
Created: Sun Aug 26 20:56:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9alg15/in_which_i_weighed_steel_using_my_doctors_scale/
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I'm so embarrassed. I need several ounces of steel to repair my arm from a recent injury where I split my humorous. How do I know it's several ounces? I actually snuck the example pieces out of my doctor's office AND WEIGHED MYSELF AND THEM ON THEIR OWN SCALE AT THE NURSES STATION. And OF COURSE I got caught in the act by one of the nurses. Why am I like this, plz just shoot me lol
What you post vs what you wish you could post.
/u/scaledrops
Created: Sun Aug 26 20:35:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9alap2/what_you_post_vs_what_you_wish_you_could_post/
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https://i.redd.it/zkqqjxlksji11.jpg
[Other] I got into a fight with a *+. pro ana butterfly .+* before and I ended up spending hours looking at pro ana shit because of it and Iām p i s s e d with myself so take this pile of shit š¤Ŗ
/u/blmatsuu [5'2 | 105 | 19.2 | -50 | FTM]
Created: Sun Aug 26 20:32:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9al9x5/i_got_into_a_fight_with_a_pro_ana_butterfly/
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https://i.redd.it/jl5hgi61sji11.jpg
DAE feel like the closer they get to their GW the fatter they look?
/u/doubleflipheart [SW - 70 kg ā£ļø CW - 55.5 kg ā£ļø GW - 45 kg]
Created: Sun Aug 26 20:22:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9al7kk/dae_feel_like_the_closer_they_get_to_their_gw_the/
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It really bums me out but I know it's in my head and if I just be strong it will be worth it in the end
I was stupid and my roommate/friend found out i have an ED
/u/ImMissBrightside [5'2" | cw: 94 | gw: 90| 23f]
Created: Sun Aug 26 20:13:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9al5gq/i_was_stupid_and_my_roommatefriend_found_out_i/
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A few days ago we were just hanging out in her room at night doing nothing. At one point she brought up a restaurant she wanted to try and I absentmindedly and stupidly mentioned that I hadnt eaten in like 4 days if she wanted to go now. She got really confused, and asked if i was fasting or something. I realized that I said too much, and stammered and said yes. She then asked how many times do i do this, and that she doesn't see me eat much. I again stupidly said that i don't know, and that it's just because sometimes I don't feel like eating.
She got really incredulous and said "you didn't feel like eating for 4 days??" And sort of scolded me, and said it's not healthy to starve for so long and so often, and I said i was sorry. It was quiet for a little and we just kept doing stuff on our phones. Then a few minutes later, she asked "(my name)....are you anorexic?" I got really scared and shocked and I sort of just stared over at her. She asked me again and I very unconvincingly said "um...uh no. No I'm not."
She said I was really starting to worry her and asked if I was sure. I really didn't want to lie to her and I felt like I was gonna cry since I felt so nervous. I told her i was fine and that I was going to shower and sleep. I went to sleep feeling nauseous because I didn't know what she was thought, especially since no one else has ever known about my ED.
The next day it seemed pretty normal, which made me relieved. But she's starting to do stuff like ask if I've eaten yet and if so, what did I eat, or if I want to go eat lunch or something. It's really troubling since I can't really tell her i haven't eaten anything yet and it makes me really scared thinking about it. Nobody has ever found out about this and I have no idea how I'm even going to handle it
[Rant/Rave] Some mouth breather filmed me while I was at the gym.
/u/saltinedust
Created: Sun Aug 26 19:56:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9al17u/some_mouth_breather_filmed_me_while_i_was_at_the/
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So last night (Saturday after 12 AM, so technically Sunday), I was at the gym. Usually I remain in the stuffy girls section of the gym, but since it was completely empty I figured I'll do my elliptical in the main section which has a huge window facing the street. Drunk party people were passing by, some of them pointed at me. I can tolerate that. But this one bitch actually had the nerve to started FILMING ME on her phone while walking by. Like what the actual fuck. She walked while filming and when she was done she looked at me and smirked. Like I honestly hope she trips on the street and breaks her face. Fuck her.
Foods to prevent bingeing?
/u/marbete
Created: Sun Aug 26 19:46:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9akypx/foods_to_prevent_bingeing/
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I was never ever a binge eater before. I donāt know whatās come over me this past month (actually, i do, stress and possible hyperthyroidism) but iām seriously insatiable. I just eat loads even though Iāve been on a 1100 cal diet my literal whole life and itās only just now getting to me. Itās fucked my confidence up being bloated every day because i decided to eat 7 million loads of halo top and peanut butter and granola in a night.
What foods lead to satiety?? Or what veggies/fruits help keep you full for longer?
[Help] trying not to binge
/u/cmetery
Created: Sun Aug 26 19:44:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9akyds/trying_not_to_binge/
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im heartbroken and have my period and im trying so hard not to binge. i only had about 500~ calories today but i really need to lose a lot of weight. i know that if i binge ill feel even worse after, so im drinking a crap ton of water to feel full. any other tips?
DAE feel sick after eating at all?
/u/sexsymboI
Created: Sun Aug 26 19:41:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9akxm7/dae_feel_sick_after_eating_at_all/
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I've only recently come to the realization that only eating one meal a day & counting calories & obsessively hating the way you look is not, in fact, what normal people do. So.
Anyways, back to the title of this post. All I've eaten today is a chicken wrap & yet my stomach feels so fucking bad. I feel so sick, like I've overeaten. Does this happen to anyone else? I went back to restricting two weeks ago after a week long binge & I genuinely cannot eat food anymore without feeling like my stomach is going to fucking explode.
[Other] Christian Bale diet day 4
/u/evian-x
Created: Sun Aug 26 19:34:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9akvy7/christian_bale_diet_day_4/
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Waist: 31"
CW: 123.5 (hopefully it's mostly water weight)
plans: i dont work today, so i plan on restricting really low to make up for how much i had yesterday. Likely putting the cap at 150 or 200. Went out to the store and got a few things, making sure to walk plenty
Log: 1 apple (50) a bag of freeze dried peach slices (70) some baby crackers lmao (25) some stir fry (90) total: 235
[Discussion] Suspicious parent
/u/ST4RV3
Created: Sun Aug 26 19:31:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9akv5l/suspicious_parent/
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My parents (mom mostly) are getting suspicious that Iām not eating enough but I keep telling them āIām not hungryāthey donāt listen and try to make me high calorie food and eat in front of me. Is there anything I can do or say to make them quit it? Or a different excuse other than āI already ate?ā
[Help] Help! Binged!!!
/u/LnD13313
Created: Sun Aug 26 19:13:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9akr11/help_binged/
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I just had a hard-core binge. I have eaten so much that my stomach is extended out and I feel like Iām going to throw up but I canāt. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to...... I guess get better feel better or get rid of everything in me? Iāve tried purging and I canāt it just wonāt happen.
I'M BACK
/u/eldariya [6'4 / 192cm | 162.5lbs / 73.5kg | 19.2 | -100 | M]
Created: Sun Aug 26 18:57:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9akmpb/im_back/
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Hey bitches,
I'm back. Long story short was in super abusive relationship and broke up 3 weeks ago and I've been restricting alot and I've lost around 13lbs and I'm now 158lbs at 6'3.5" so sis I am CLOSE to being underweight and I start university next month to do Oil Engineering and honestly i'm pumped.
I have 20 days to drop another 11lbs to get to my lowest weight as I can't let these new people ever see me at a normal weight fuck that so does anyone have words of encouragement or things that will help me as I'm calorie counting again.
āYou looked so sexy today...ā
/u/Wigforfire [5'2 | 100.3 | 18.89 | 30lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 26 18:48:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9akkn3/you_looked_so_sexy_today/
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āā...walking around with that beer in your handā, said my boyfriend as I threw a load of laundry into the wash after a long day out at the Renaissance Fair, and hugged me. But could I take the compliment? No. No I couldnāt, instead I said āoh so Iām only sexy with a beer in my handā and he said āno, but itās how I felt, do you not want me to tell you these things?ā And i smiled slightly and said āno its okayā.
But in reality I wanted to cry, because in reality, the girl holding a beer isnt me. Im the girl who is afraid to drink beer, who had to eat half a chicken sandwich and restrict most of my food today to bite the bullet and drink a beer. Iām the girl who is petite because I *donāt* drink beer (or at least thats how it is in my head). And so I want to cry because that wonāt be me all the time. That canāt be me all the time. The girl who we were with who always holds a beer is overwhelmingly overweight and it was so stressful to watch her down beer after beer, while I sipped on mine because in my head all I could think was ālook at your futureā and now it feels like thatās whats sexy and I donāt fit that and my brain is confused and I feel like I will never be sexy because how can you eat and drink and be sexy???? But I know its possible but it doesnāt feel possible for me... all of this because my boyfriend complimented me, but a part of me that feels like a lie
[Discussion] DAE follow "fat-positive" activists/artists to deliberately trigger themselves?
/u/burningbambi
Created: Sun Aug 26 18:03:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ak98z/dae_follow_fatpositive_activistsartists_to/
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It's one of my meanest and worst traits, and I'm glad I only ever do it in lurker-mode, but I follow ALOT of pro-fat photographers and activists on IG.
In the same way as I know a lot of us watch shows like My 600lb Life and Fat Doctor to put us off eating, it seems to help me minimise my eating if I have just as many large girls (btw I'm totally happy if they're happy with their weight, it's just something that I never would be comfortable with and terrifies me) as skinny model girls popping up on my feed.
I feel so guilty for having this fucked up mindset of wanting to lift up women, especially those who are successful and prominent in their communities. But when ever I start to feel my stomach growl I can end up scrolling for hours through artists who photograph obese nude models - in the same way as when I wake up I immediately check out thinspo.
My first reaction of disgust is shameful for me as a feminist, but fuck it. If it puts me off my food for the day then they're gonna get my damn IG like.
Does anyone else work in food service?
/u/lynnB123
Created: Sun Aug 26 17:59:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ak841/does_anyone_else_work_in_food_service/
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Iām in college and work at a froyo shop, literally free toppings and yogurt whenever and watching wine moms get a pump of chocolate syrup on their no sugar added yogurt like āIām being badā
[Help] If I eat 1500 calories one day a week and eat 300-600 every other day of the week will i still lose weight?
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Sun Aug 26 17:28:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ak0nh/if_i_eat_1500_calories_one_day_a_week_and_eat/
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My weeks are fine but on the weekend Ingo out with friends and bf so itās really hard to stay restricting. How long does it take the food weight and bloating to go away? I hear some people say that itās a good thing to have a spike to boost Metabolism. Idk Iām just worried about the weekend.
[Rant/Rave] How do you combat family asking you how much you weigh?
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8" | CW: 128.2 & BMI: 19.5 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 17:22:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ajz2z/how_do_you_combat_family_asking_you_how_much_you/
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In my family weāve always been blunt about weight. My mom, stepdad, siblings are not afraid of just walking up to anyone in the house and ask you how much you weigh. Iāve always hated this but no one, especially my mom, cares that it makes me upset or uncomfortable these days. We have established very few boundaries so itās hard to create new ones after all these years. Now that my weight loss is noticeable I get a interrogated over it, mostly from my mom and stepdad (he thinks everyone is anorexic and I would be less annoyed if he wasnāt a huge piece of shit but anyway). I donāt want to seem suspicious by overreacting but I also obviously canāt answer honestly. The only answer I can think of is avoiding them and I can easily avoid my stepdad but really I just want them to stop asking.
Is anyone else both extremely self critical & really vain??
/u/bangsofsteel2 [5"3/BMI 19ish/ (made a new account)]
Created: Sun Aug 26 17:19:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ajygy/is_anyone_else_both_extremely_self_critical/
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Weirdly specific & honest post, might delete later but I'm pretty much past the point of denying to myself that I am pretty obsessed with my appearance. But I also don't like it at all. But I can't stop micromanaging every aspect of how I look and checking myself out. But there are so many things I want to change.
Can anyone relate here?
This year I've had a really weird experience working, serving, in a fairly busy place in my town which doesn't have too many staff. I've met a fair few people and honestly had more male attention than I've had in my life - to the point of strangers I serve finding my personal facebook - but only as I've lost weight this year, and it's kind of making my head spin and sending my ED even more into overdrive.
I've been both bullied and complimented for my looks at different points in my life and nowadays, due to this especially, I feel hyper aware of them. But it's still not enough and most of the time I feel fat and fake. I'm obsessed with my skincare, hair care, but it all feels like a costume, a distraction from how imperfect my figure is.
It's so strange. Feeling ugly but also focusing so hard on appearing pretty to others - 'pretending' to be.
Am I making sense?
[Rant/Rave] I just want to want to weigh 105 pounds
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 116 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Sun Aug 26 17:07:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ajvgh/i_just_want_to_want_to_weigh_105_pounds/
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Iām at 116. I hate it and now Iāll be eating more in the weeks. Iāll be trapped in this body forever. I wanna lose like 10 pounds. Then Iāll be happy. But for now I need to restrict and purge.
Somehow actually found and used willpower!!
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 16:44:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ajpnw/somehow_actually_found_and_used_willpower/
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Went to Costco with my parents today and they decided to eat there after shopping. I hadnāt eaten all day and was starving but also just bought chicken and fruits and vegetables and planned on making my own dinner....Costco has foot long hot dogs, chicken wings, ice cream swirl cones (this almost did me in....) my mom even pointed out ālook, they have a turkey provolone sandwich!ā Thinking that thatās somehow a healthy option at 800 calories? I even considered the chicken wings because it said 10 were 550 calories....which is low for wings, but still too high for what I wanted today. It was SO hard. My parents each got a sausage and poutine and I didnāt realize they wanted to sit and eat there. I was so close to just saying āfuck itā and eating some of the fries or getting the ice cream...instead I got a Diet Coke!! I just got home and spent half an hour making a HUGE salad with chicken and Iām sipping wine still only sitting at 300 calories for the day. I am so happy! Small win after a really bad weekend of making bad choices....
my line came back!!!!!
/u/aworkinprogress_ [5'6 | 116.4 lbs | BMI 18.8 | UGW 102]
Created: Sun Aug 26 16:25:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ajl3i/my_line_came_back/
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Idek even how to explain this but you know when you flex ur abs and you can have a little line from the bottom of your rib cage down? And itās like indented??? I used to have one it was great and then it went away but I actually havenāt been bingeing as much and Iām back down to 115 now and it CAME BACK oh my god Iām so goddamn happy rn
[Rant/Rave] Someone told me they could tell I've lost weight!
/u/glitterfitte
Created: Sun Aug 26 15:47:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ajb3g/someone_told_me_they_could_tell_ive_lost_weight/
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I left to go back to uni two weeks ago, and I've lost 5 pounds since I left. I'm still at a normal, healthy weight and even more than that, but today my parents came to visit and they pointed out that my face had slimmed down!! I can't see it myself, and I fully denied it when they said it but I was so happy inside. Finally!
Words of Motivation?
/u/ketokitty13
Created: Sun Aug 26 15:47:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ajay9/words_of_motivation/
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What do you tell yourself when you *feel* yourself about to break your diet/fast/weight loss routines? I am usually motivated by reflecting on my results, but I havenāt seen results this far yet to use measurements or pounds lost as motivation. Iām curious to know (and eventually use) what kinds of tactics yaāll use for yourself to stay strong!
[Rant/Rave] I should just accept that Iām never going to be skinny again right (this is a long one)
/u/intensitei [5ā8 | fat | 23F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 15:44:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aja4z/i_should_just_accept_that_im_never_going_to_be/
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Warning this is, as always, a long rant from me and Iām sorry
Iāve been eating like trash for pretty much a year. Iāve complained here about this before and idk. Same old song Iām always singing. It gets old. Iām sorry, yāall.
I just canāt stop. Itās because Iām depressed, I know. Everything is pretty bad right now on top of my depression so I know itās stress eating. Iām hideous. Iām uncomfortable. Iāve never been this heavy.
Honestly, at the very least, I just want less fat on my thighs and face. Iām so uncomfortable because of how my thighs rub together and Iām so self conscious of my huge face. I gain a lot of weight in my face AND itās a super round face so thatās a ton of fucking fun & I have fat under my chin so Iām mortified about that
I hate going out and I hate people looking at me so I basically never leave the house and I never see friends. One of my friends understands & basically never asks me to hang out and just messages me and treats me no different. And the other one is way healthier than me mentally. So, they understand but they always say they miss me and want to see me. It stresses me out & makes me feel so guilty.
I canāt just tell someone not to say they miss me or that they want to see me. Thatās not even an option or anything I want to do. It just crossed my mind. Idk. Iām a terrible friend.
Iām going to visit that friend today and Iām supposed to be getting ready but all I can think about is that Iām going to be stuffing my hideous body into leggings and a hoodie on a hot day and then putting on a ton of makeup to distract from my disgusting chin and fat cheeks and huge bags under my eyes from stress and depression and fucked up sleep habits
And then lugging my heavy self into the car just to go and sit and be so self conscious and anxious that I dissociate for three hours and wait until itās time to leave. What kind of hangout session is that. What kind of friend am I to just force myself to see them and hate everything the whole time there and not even enjoy it and just wait until I can leave.
And theyāre an attentive friend who also does a lot of eye contact and itās like I love you and I love that about you and it was great when I was skinnier but please stop looking at me I feel like absolute trash pls
I love my friends and I like being around them but itās hard. I just want to suffer alone until itās not painful to walk and looking in the mirror doesnāt make me consider hurting myself
Idk. I donāt think I can do it. I made it to -20 pounds lost a few weeks ago and finally went under 200!!!!! For the first time in a year. and now Iām basically at the same position I was when I tried first tried to lose weight AGAIN those same weeks ago
God I really donāt know if I can do it. My period comes on and itāll fuck me up or Iāll just keep thinking I can ātake a quick breakā from exercising or watching calories and it ends up turning into a quick journey to +10 lbs
I just cannot see myself staying on top of losing weight long enough to securely make it out of the 200s and stop having my mid section roll so much and my thighs hurt because they touch and the size of my chest make my shoulders hurt and my chin squishing against my neck
This is all so gross and I feel like yāall would be so disgusted with me. Thatās another thing. I know this may be controversial but... Sometimes I see people here mention how they look at things like fph or get grossed out by bigger people or the unhealthy meals they see ppl eat
and it makes me so self conscious idk a lot of those bigger ppl may have EDs too (or other health issues like my thyroid issue makes it hard to basically be a human gjdhdj) & may be suffering like me and it just makes me feel bad
Anyways Iām off track and gross and disgusting and gross and I just needed to rant somewhere where people could maybe understand (although I wish no one could understand this pain)
Sorry this is so long. Sigh. Thanks for reading if you did
[Rant/Rave] What the actual fuck
/u/ManWithTheHands
Created: Sun Aug 26 15:34:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aj7iu/what_the_actual_fuck/
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I was 80lbs down two days ago, snap and spend one day binging, and gain so much in water retention I dont think I'll be able to convince myself to eat again.
"Working on ourselves" or whatever the hell that means
/u/deconcerte [4'11 | 23F | not weighing myself]
Created: Sun Aug 26 15:29:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aj5zy/working_on_ourselves_or_whatever_the_hell_that/
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My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. This is the longest relationship I've had in my entire 23 years of being. I fell for him within weeks of knowing him. He fell for me as quickly as I did. And today, he said that we should take a break. Two weeks, maybe a month.
*That's quite a range,* I said, faintly.
*We'll touch base in two weeks,* he assured me. *And if we need more time...*
*If we need more time then our relationship is doomed,* I didn't say.
Two weeks without talking on the phone, or in person. Two weeks without texting, without sending each other snaps, without any other contact - except for emergencies. (Is it an emergency if it feels like your heart is caving in?)
*What are the rules?* I wondered, always searching for structure when my life is in chaos. Is he going to see other women? Am I supposed to see other men?
*No,* he said. *No - you're still mine and I'm still yours. We just need to work on ourselves.*
Work on ourselves.
*Work on ourselves?*
It sounds like something you'd hear in a Lifetime movie, or a self-help book.
I wish I could talk to someone. I've always been a private person, never revealing myself to more than one person in a given point in my life. For the past two years, that was my boyfriend. And now, I don't have anyone to ask what the fuck "working on myself" even means.
I have a mental illness. How do I "work" on it by myself? Asking my parents for help has never been an option in the past, and I doubt it'll all-of-a-sudden become a viable option now. Going to therapy won't be an option until I find full-time work that will help me pay for it. I've tried recovery on my own. All I've ended up with is ten or twenty or thirty more pounds and straight back onto this subreddit every time I've tried.
The worst part is, my eating disorder is elated. Two weeks of not talking to one of the few people who know about my eating disorder means two weeks of pure restriction without any interference.
*How many pounds can I lose in two weeks? How many inches can I shed? How much skinnier will I be by September 9th? Will he notice? Will he still want me then?*
It would be so easy. Arguing always fills my stomach with a tight knot that nothing can loosen. Not talking to my favorite person for half a month would be a physical ruin that I could easily accept.
But that's not what "working" on myself means. If only I knew what it did mean.
Ugh. Maybe slow and steady does win the race...
/u/throwaway86_443
Created: Sun Aug 26 15:24:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aj4p3/ugh_maybe_slow_and_steady_does_win_the_race/
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I donāt know how much more restricting I can take. Iām tired of always getting migraines and being exhausted.
So maybe... maybe I can still get to my goal weight if I take it slower.
It just seems like every super thin girl I see got there by heavy restriction. Is there a way to get there without doing so??? Probably not :(
[Rant/Rave] fucking water weight
/u/sleepyboyblue [5'5 | CW 110 | GW 100 | M]
Created: Sun Aug 26 15:12:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aj1ll/fucking_water_weight/
---
real quick post
\> been b/ping everything i eat for a few weeks
\>loosing weight so dont care til i start getting stabbing pains in my chest
\>thatsprobablybad
\>decide to try and go back to restricting, slower progress but my body wont fail as bad
\>eat 100 cals of popcorn, 80 cal apple, all salt and carbs
\>gain 1.4kg overnight in water retention
\>i want to die
[Help] Question on fasting
/u/MorePepperPleease
Created: Sun Aug 26 14:52:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aiw6p/question_on_fasting/
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I get severely nauseous 1-2 days into a water fast Iāve gone 4 days before but at that point when I ate I threw it up violently (sorry if this is graphic). & the only reason I ate was I was feeling nauseous/extremely sick to begin with.
Iāve read up on fasting & a 1 week fast in theory should be healthy for the body, so why does mine react this way? A bit of back ground Iām not Ana I just believe in eating modestly & I do it more for ethical/personal beliefs.
Has this happened to anyone else? What can I do to prolong my fast? When I fast I only drink water no vitamins or teas, sometimes I exercise but recently stopped during a fast because I thought maybe that was the reason I might be getting sick.
I feel so lonely and unlovable
/u/Tear-in-my-heart
Created: Sun Aug 26 14:32:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aiqra/i_feel_so_lonely_and_unlovable/
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So I have had a crush on this guy for months and I even thought he might like me back. He was always so sweet to me, a complete gentleman and there were so many times that I thought he might ask me out. Anyway fast forward to today and I look at our schoolās Facebook where they have posted pictures from the senior prom. He is a year older than me and it was his prom but I didnāt even think he was going to go. I scroll and I see a picture of him with this girl who Iād never met before but she was gorgeous, big Bambi eyes and the most delicate, feminine figure. I got a really big lump in my throat and just wanted to disappear. I found out from a friend that they had been dating for a few months and that he is really happy with her which meant that I was wrong all along and he never liked me back. I realized that I was never good enough for him, I wished that I could have been the one to make him happy. Every time he looked at me or smiled at me my butterflies would turn into sadness because I know that no one could ever love something as hideous and fat as me but I dared myself to hope.
After all that I went into the kitchen and ate a full tub of ice cream. I had only eaten under 200 calories before that, I was doing so well and then I completely messed up. I feel so disgusting. I feel like I never want to eat a crumb again, like I want to just fade away and become as invisible and small as I feel right now. Iām sorry for posting this, I really needed to talk to someone and I have no one.
[Goal] Hit my first goal weight but feel worse
/u/little-paws
Created: Sun Aug 26 14:23:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aio8e/hit_my_first_goal_weight_but_feel_worse/
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The number means nothing to me, I still feel fat as fuck
My life is a mess and I can't even get a text back from a guy I'm into, at least that makes restricting easier?
Yeah I don't know, does anyone else feel shit when they should feel happy about an 'achievement'
I did something that works
/u/nirvanaandsilence
Created: Sun Aug 26 14:23:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aio47/i_did_something_that_works/
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I've binged uncontrollably for nearly the entire past week. Yesterday I decided that, because of this, I would need to end the week with a 24 hr fast. I wasn't really feeling motivated. I have a couple assignments due Monday(which I still haven't and probably never will finish or even start) so I just felt like trash. But still, there was just no way I would binge for a 7th day.
I needed motivation, so I decided that I needed some sort of punishment to keep myself from eating. This is probably really obvious, I know, but it took forever for my stupid brain to think of. I chose to promise my younger sister 50 dollars if I broke my fast early. She was sort of confused and didn't really care but she said that was fine. I'm not close to my family and any time I interact with them It's really awkward.
I get anxiety whenever I spend my savings. They're important to me. The threat of losing any of it really scared me.
Long story short, it worked and I'm back on track finally.
[Help] About to have lots of sex but have been abusing laxatives for the past few days
/u/mbisa
Created: Sun Aug 26 14:22:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ainxb/about_to_have_lots_of_sex_but_have_been_abusing/
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I've been abusing laxatives recently for the past few days. I'm bulimic and have been gaining so I decided to use laxatives at the end of the day. I'm about to go see my long distance boyfriend and we are planning on having a lot of sex. Are there any tips/things I should be concerned about going forward? Should I take any precautions?
[Discussion] Did veganism make anyone else have disordered eating?
/u/lomgboi
Created: Sun Aug 26 14:19:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aimzx/did_veganism_make_anyone_else_have_disordered/
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So in June 2016 I became vegan due to environmental reasons. I was really into it and trying all the new food, which led to me gaining about 15 pounds. As Iām short, 5ā1, and was always 100 pounds it was really noticeable. But anyway, I found myself constantly thinking about food in a way I never felt before. I was always hungry (admittedly due to more carbs, low protein), always checking restaurant options in vegan and non-vegan places, and it just consumed my thoughts.
I stopped being vegan around June of this year because I realized how over it I was and I felt a big disconnect from the vegan community.
Now my eating disorder is a lot worse, and Iāve actually lost 20 pounds since giving up veganism.
Anyway, Iām writing this because I know a lot of people go vegan after recovering from an eating disorder, but I just wanted to share the experience I had and see if anyone else had this same thing happen.
Please note: not even close to being recovered yet lol
[Rant/Rave] I've been away from home for 19 days.
/u/Funktionierende [25F | 5'2" | CW131.2lbs | SW185lbs | GW100lbs | BMI24]
Created: Sun Aug 26 14:04:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aiiya/ive_been_away_from_home_for_19_days/
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Working away in a very remote location, hundreds of miles from the nearest store. Thought I was only going to be gone for a week but I keep getting held back. I didnt bring my scale because last time I brought one out here it got stolen.
All I've been able to bring myself to eat is microwave-boiled broccoli and cauliflower with cheez whiz (40cal/Tbsp and one tbsp easily covers 2 cups of veggies) for two weeks now. When I'm feeling particularly awful I skip the 40cal extra for the cheez whiz.
I dont know how much I weigh right now and its driving me crazy.
Oh, and it was 35deg C when I got here but it's down to 5deg C now, and I didnt bring my parka, please send warm
[Discussion] Thoughts on Meredith Foster?
/u/mina1200
Created: Sun Aug 26 13:06:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ai224/thoughts_on_meredith_foster/
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Itās so funny to see how much sheās in denial. Almost funny. And the way she *constantly* talks about food (and never eating) makes me want to vomit. She makes me want to go back to my old ways of severe restricting. Definitely not a good role model for her younger audience....
[Discussion] (TMI) That binge won't be worth it.
/u/semperxvivum [5'6" | 127lbs | 20.5 BMI | -45lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 26 13:04:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ai1i0/tmi_that_binge_wont_be_worth_it/
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I had done so well all week. I would've woken yesterday morning at a new low weight. Of course, this means we let loose and ordered a ton of desserts Friday night.
Friday night was ruined, so I may as well ruin Saturday, right? Let loose! I'll be strict starting Monday! Pull out that box with that one dessert which tasted like donuts. Ha, cute, like Saturday morning donuts right?
And I put it back at first. I thought nah, I know where this is going, I hated it last time. Got a Bronkaid and coffee, my normal breakfast.
But then I went and got the dessert an hour later. And then I didn't stop. And then we went to Costco, and I got shit I knew I'd binge on. We got Smashburger on the way home, too. All day, a haze of smoking and eating. Ended the day feeling physically like shit, since I hadn't had anything at all nutritious and the quantities were awful.
(TMI) I woke at 6:30am and barely made it to the bathroom before everything from the past four days (yep, I'd been constipated, so that sure helped) just sludged out of me. It hurt, I was sweating, I was exhausted, I was dehydrated, and it didn't end for ages.
Thank fucking god the toilet somehow flushed it. Collapsed into bed for a few more hours of sleep, woke, and went to the bathroom for the same thing to happen again.
I tried to see a bright side. I thought, "Well, at least so much came out that I probably didn't gain too much." I got The Number I'd Be Content With in my head, like you do - _if only I'm below XXX, I won't feel like too much of a failure._ Stepped on the scale to see that despite the two insane bathroom trips that morning, I'd still gained 5.6 pounds since Friday morning, before I'd "relaxed a bit for the weekend."
I hate this. I'm trying really, really hard not to hate myself.
That binge you're debating on allowing yourself? It's not fucking worth it.
Odd food related youtube channels you like?
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Sun Aug 26 12:37:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ahtmy/odd_food_related_youtube_channels_you_like/
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Just curious, I've never been into mukbangs because I HATE eating sounds. but even so I have a couple favorite food channels
​
*Steve1989MREInfo .* There's something amusing and almost charming about his videos. He gets so much joy out of old food and has the weirdest opinions. Never get tired of him saying how great instant coffee is or how he describes a old ration from 1959(Sometimes gross but fascinating yo). Also almost never films himself eating or eating sounds so 10/10
​
*Good mythical morning.* I like the "will it" series and the random food reviews, I think they're funny even if they annoy me once in awhile
​
RRcherrypie, Emmymadeinjapan and other people who make candy kits or other odd recipes and such.
​
Shitemita, He just opens Japanese food, It's the most out of context food review channel I've ever seen but it's oddly fascinating to watch at times.
[Rant/Rave] I finally bought a scale
/u/schwarz-loch
Created: Sun Aug 26 12:29:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ahrb1/i_finally_bought_a_scale/
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I thought that I wouldnāt need one and that I could just go by how my body looks. Boy was I wrong. Iām too scared to see how much Iāve gained.
It arrives this weekend, so I have about a week to soften the blow before I weigh myself. I might have gained 30 pounds š
How do you calculate the calories in pizza?
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 175 lbs | 30.63 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 12:14:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ahmuj/how_do_you_calculate_the_calories_in_pizza/
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My boyfriend is out getting a pepperoni pizza right now for us and a friend who's coming over in a little bit. I'm at 45 calories so far today, and I'm going to eat a slice or two to keep him from worrying. It's been about two weeks of restricting and he's definitely getting suspicious/worried but hasn't said anything yet. I'm okay with eating up to 800 calories in this one meal, and I'm definitely going to the gym later, so my net should still be around 400-500 for the day.
Anyway - how do you scholars calculate the calories in a slice of restaurant pizza? This particular place doesn't use an absolute fuckton of cheese, but it's still a lot. Their pizza isn't usually super greasy. The crust is much more on the floury side than the buttery side. The sauce tastes less sugary than some places, but who really knows what's in that.
The slices are pretty normal sized for a medium pizza from a traditional/oldschool pizza place.
Any insight is much appreciated. Hope you're all having good days <3
Energy drink recommendation?
/u/popcorn102
Created: Sun Aug 26 12:10:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ahm0o/energy_drink_recommendation/
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Can anyone recommend an energy drink that is zero-calorie and not to fruity-sweet? The only one Iāve tried was a sip of a friendās rockstar and it tasted like liquid jolly ranchers, not in a good way.
https://freeallyouneed.wordpress.com
/u/Magaly956
Created: Sun Aug 26 12:04:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ahk3l/httpsfreeallyouneedwordpresscom/
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https://freeallyouneed.wordpress.com
[Rant/Rave] Saturday has become a cheat day
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 116 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Sun Aug 26 11:41:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ahdfu/saturday_has_become_a_cheat_day/
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All week I can stay between 300-600 calories. But then I spend friday evening till Sunday morning with my bf and we have to eat out. Itās stressful and I feel like all my work goes to shit. I guess Iāll fast tonight
hiya
/u/paleartichoke
Created: Sun Aug 26 11:22:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ah870/hiya/
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I have been such a lurker here and finally committed to making an alt account to comment a little more, so I thought I would introduce myself. I am a 31 year old woman with few hobbies (lol) but I admit one of them is recreational weight loss. I have never been diagnosed but I know it's not healthy, and that I have a fucked up relationship with food. But also.... I enjoy it.
I am a new nurse, which has kicked it into overdrive since it is now constant checks and balances--I have to eat enough to function for work but I also want to keep losing. I gained a lot in nursing school and it grosses me out. So that's motivating me atm.
I had an interaction that gave me the warm fuzzies. But I had no one to share it with because it's kind of a twisted thing to be happy about. Anyways an elderly patient's daughter called me to clarify some things she had heard from my patient's husband. She said "all he told me was that the skinny nurse who hands out medications gave me this paperwork--god dad, that could have been anyone!". BUT it was definitely me and the comment gave me such a little buzz. I hope some of you can relate (:
[Help] Low carb/medium carb....
/u/nordic_alien [167cm | 130lbs | 22 | 20lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 11:21:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ah7wq/low_carbmedium_carb/
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Has anyone gone back and forth between low carb and med/higher carb? :/ I lose the most weight (although probably water weight) on lower carb (under 100g), but my weight wonāt go past 130 for months now and Iām having a hard time maintaining even at 1200. I hope Iām due for a woosh soon? I donāt like meat so itās so hard to eat protein foods... but I canāt get bsvk down to my lowest weight. I feel so lost. Iām considering hiring someone to help me but Iām afraid theyāll force me to gain muscle.
Tips? Advice? Recommended trainers?
Thanks!
[Other] B/Pād for the first time in a really long time.
/u/sad_and_bougie
Created: Sun Aug 26 10:38:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9agvi9/bpd_for_the_first_time_in_a_really_long_time/
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It felt like seeing an old friend again.
All the little rituals I have that Iād forgotten about came back to me so easily. Folding a towel to put under my knees. Filling up a bottle of water to keep handy. Putting some tissues next to the toilet to wipe my tears/blow my nose.
I donāt know what came over me today. I was doing well then out of nowhere I went to McDonaldās. I wasnāt even thinking about it. I just went. Got two cheeseburgers, medium fries, a chicken burger and a Diet Coke (lol like that was gonna fix anything).
I came home and started eating and began to feel full while I was still eating the chicken burger, but something in the back of my head was like āNope. Youāre finishing all of this.ā So I started having sips of water between all the bites to make it easier to purge later.
Now Iām sucking on a numbing lozenge with some laxative tea brewing just like old times.
In one sense itās really comforting. In another, itās fucking scary and Iām pretty disgusted with myself.
Could this be an ED?
/u/GardenInMyHead [158 | 49 | 19.63 | 5kg | F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 10:32:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9agtub/could_this_be_an_ed/
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(My first post was deleted? Probably because I didn't add flair? I can't see how else is this against the rules.)
Hi. I'm no way anorexic. I'm 158 cm and I'm now 49 kg with muscles. Not much, I'm just not skinnyfat.
I exercise daily (30 min) and I do cardio 2-3 times a week (30 mins, cycling, 15 km). I count calories regiously. I almost don't binge. I eat 300kcal in the morning, 300 for lunch, 300 for dinner and I have 300-400 for treats.
The problem is that I stopped going out because I don't drink anymore because muh calories, can't estimate calories outside and I can't skip a day of exercising. Yes, I'm so obsessed that I turn down any invitation and during summer (I have holidays, uni) I was on one party and I drank strictly vodka and soda. So.. It kinda ruins my social life. I don't fast. I just can't let my guard down and not control myself. Idk what to do. The only thing I do now is that I invite a friend over for weekend (which happened once) and I don't control my food intake. Otherwise I can't have cheat days. From 60 days of holidays, I didn't exercise 4. I didn't look at what I'm eating for 4 too. And even with that, I didn't eat much.
It doesn't ruin my health (except that I bruise easier) and it helps me mentally because I have control over something, I'm not anxious or depressed anymore, BUT... it ruins my social life. I just talk to my friends on facebook. Nothing more. I also see food in calories more than an actual food. Is that an ED?
[Other] Pain is Progress
/u/RJW256
Created: Sun Aug 26 10:24:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9agrpt/pain_is_progress/
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The rumbling in my stomach means I'm getting smaller. Every time I think about eating, I also remember that I'm taking the superspeed line to slimness.
It's a small pain now, for a better future tomorrow.
sweater weather or smth
/u/scaledrops
Created: Sun Aug 26 10:18:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9agpyo/sweater_weather_or_smth/
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https://i.redd.it/6hts6k3jqgi11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Feels so good to hear someone say they were worried about me.
/u/AvailableBicycle [5'5" | cw133 | lw99 | gw108 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 09:45:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aggvr/feels_so_good_to_hear_someone_say_they_were/
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Last week I saw my cousin who I only see a few times a year. We ended up getting into the topic of vegetarianism/veganism as I was veg/vegan for like 7 years. He asked why I did it and why I stopped. The real reason I quit being vegan? I was broke and wanted to fucking binge because I think the whole thing was a disguise for restricting. But I always tell people its because I lost too much weight while vegan (I did, like 30 lbs in 6 months). So I told him this and he nodded and said, "Yeah, last christmas we were all getting kind of worried about you."
​
WHY DID THAT FEEL SO GOOD?
WHY DO I WANT TO BE EVEN SMALLER BY THIS CHRISTMAS?
I MISS PEOPLE ASKING IF I'M OKAY.
I've got to get better at this again. I want to float around like I used to. I want to make my family and friends whisper behind my back again.
Side note: I'm currently ghosting my therapist and refuse to see him again until I've lost a significant amount of weight. Yes, you heard me right. I'm ghosting my therapist.
Is this an eating disorder?
/u/GardenInMyHead [158 | 49 | 19.63 | 5kg | F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 09:41:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9agfsl/is_this_an_eating_disorder/
---
Hi. I'm no way anorexic. I'm 158 cm and I'm now 49 kg with muscles. Not much, I'm just not skinnyfat.
I exercise daily (30 min) and I do cardio 2-3 times a week (30 mins, cycling, 15 km). I count calories regiously. I almost don't binge. I eat 300kcal in the morning, 300 for lunch, 300 for dinner and I have 300-400 for treats.
The problem is that I stopped going out because I don't drink anymore because muh calories, can't estimate calories outside and I can't skip a day of exercising. Yes, I'm so obsessed that I turn down any invitation and during summer (I have holidays, uni) I was on one party and I drank strictly vodka and soda. So.. It kinda ruins my social life. I don't fast. I just can't let my guard down and not control myself. Idk what to do. The only thing I do now is that I invite a friend over for weekend (which happened once) and I don't control my food intake. Otherwise I can't have cheat days. From 60 days of holidays, I didn't exercise 4. I didn't look at what I'm eating for 4 too. And even with that, I didn't eat much.
It doesn't ruin my health (except that I bruise easier) and it helps me mentally because I have control over something, I'm not anxious or depressed anymore, BUT... it ruins my social life. I just talk to my friends on facebook. Nothing more. Is that an ED?
[Rant/Rave] The guy Iām seeing filmed us having sex and it was soo humiliating to watch it back
/u/lavenderbruises [5'10"|CW 115| GW 100| BMI 16.74| 19F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 09:40:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9agfix/the_guy_im_seeing_filmed_us_having_sex_and_it_was/
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Honestly this was as funny as it was embarassing.
So, the other day I went over to my FWB (?)ās house and we hung out. Then we went to his room and he put a camera on his dresser. I was like ok this is weird but whatevs. Then he turned it ON and kept it on even though I told him to turn it off.
But yeah, whatever. Idk about my life anyways so. We go at it and I feel really awkward. Afterwards, he played it back and I literally just sat there with my hand to my eyes. MY FUCKING BODY HOLY SHIT. I realized that I literally have NO curves whatsoever, my āfigureā is like a fucking ruler.
Seriously I was dying of embarassment. I had a little chub on my stomach too that made me look like I was recently pregnant. And my ass was so nonexistent you couldnāt tell where my waist ended and my hips/ass began. My arms are these bony spindly things and my ribs/spine was protruding. Not a good look.
To make things worse, he watched it all with a straight face and gave me constructive criticism on my form. Thanks? I could tell he was thinking about how shitty my body was and it made me even more self conscious.
But yeah. That was a fun experience. He deleted the files after, so thank God for small mercies. Iām still not over it though...and although Iām attracted to him Iām way too embarassed to see him again. Yet he is texting me like nothing happened.
Idk what the point of this was. Guess Iāll start hitting the gym? The problem is, I really wish I could transfer the fat/muscle from my legs to my torso and ass so I donāt have such a weird flat pear shaped figure. I canāt lose weight or else Iāll look like more of a Slenderman on my upoer body, yet if I gain weight it will all go straight to my thighs.
I donāt even know whether I should gain or lose weight at this point. Itās like either option will end up making me look shitty so I guess Iām just stuck with this āfigureā (or lack thereof) forever.
Free time is my greatest enemy
/u/Raynx [5'5 | 120lbs | 20.3 | M]
Created: Sun Aug 26 09:21:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9agai7/free_time_is_my_greatest_enemy/
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When I work, I have no problems restricting or fasting because all I have to care about is a ~6 hours window between coming home and going to bed. I still think about food every single second of that time, but because I've done OMAD out of pure convenience for years, I am legitimately not hungry the rest of the day.
All of that goes out the window during days of rest. I'm currently right in the middle of a three-days weekend, and I've already binged today and yesterday... It's fucking pathetic. I won't even talk about the times I'm *obligated* to take an entire week off.
I would say "boredom is my greatest enemy" but that's not accurate. I have plenty of things to do, both recreational and professional. But the liberty of free time means I will inevitably eat whatever I want, which means of course that I'll binge.
So, if I don't eat, then I'll think about food the entire day, fair enough. But... If I *do*, I'll *also* think about how much I've eaten, or what happened the last few days, or dread what I'm going to do tomorrow (as if I were a fucking monster incapable of self-control). I can't win. I'm typing this instead of polishing a cover letter because I don't even feel like using the mental energy to focus on something else than food. And I've eaten less than an hour ago.
I don't know what to do about it. Distracting myself only works so much when I can do whatever I want for several days.
[Rant/Rave] Canāt wait for uni to start
/u/frida569 [163 cm | 74 kg | 15 kg | female]
Created: Sun Aug 26 09:17:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ag99r/cant_wait_for_uni_to_start/
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I start my first year of med school this year and I finish at 7 pm on most days and I canāt wait to start because I will have no time to eat and will probably die of exhaustion šš¼šš»š©
I'm going on a all inclusive vacation in 6 days, and I've put on 12 pounds... Kill me
/u/domesticwildthing
Created: Sun Aug 26 09:12:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ag84n/im_going_on_a_all_inclusive_vacation_in_6_days/
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I was trying to do this "i"m recovered!!!" "Intuitive eatingggg" "NO SCALE" bullshit for the past 2 months.
What really happened is I would get super fucking high and binge, then purge 4/7 days a week, and not even bother purging other days.
I moved in with my boyfriend when I started this, and he keeps so much food around I would never buy cause I binge uncontrollably.
He's so skinny and eats whatever.
Meanwhile I was 119 when we got together a year or so ago and now I'm 131, which i found out this morning.
I'm so scared to put on a bathing suit, and I'll be at an all inclusive resort for 11 DAYS.
I'm gonna binge, and get bloated and fuck that.
I'm so fucking privilged and ridiculous, that I dont even wanna go on this amazing vacation with my amazing boyfriend.
I'm coffee fasting for as long as I can this week until we go, to try to deyhradte myself so much I look less pudgey.
But I think about my stomach and I want to vomit.
The only time I don't actively hate myself is when I'm high, but then I'm so uncontrolled that I binge.
I'm just going to drink myself into oblivian, I just know it. I think the trick is to drink so much I vomit and it looks "natural". Cause how am I going to purge in a teeny hotel room with my boyfriend????
My shower drain is full of half digested pasta salad from purging, my life is a disaster, I don't even know if I'll have a job in a week, because my contract wasn't renewed yet and I just wanna die.
ALSO. My period is 8 days late, and it's certainly not from being too thin, so now I'm afraid I'm pregnant because there was like a week we lost my BC in the move and I'm so fucking scared.
BASICALLY KILL ME.
I don't know what to do or think, or hat the point of this rant was, but I have no friends so you get to hear about it.
THANKS FOR READING MY BULLSHIT RANT
[Rant/Rave] DAE get excited for their period? (probably TMI)
/u/bromodatchi [5'1" | 96 lbs | 18.9 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 09:09:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ag79s/dae_get_excited_for_their_period_probably_tmi/
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Of course because ED brain I would love to go back to not having a period. HOWEVER, I have gotten a newfound love for my period because it has never failed to produce a REALLY good bowel movement & I love the empty feeling of knowing youāre not full of poop.
[Rant/Rave] I was skinny until I fucked up
/u/minisxule
Created: Sun Aug 26 08:57:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ag41s/i_was_skinny_until_i_fucked_up/
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I am 16. Just a year ago, I was 40 kg (88 lb). In 2017, I was at my goal weight after months of restriction. I was freaking ecstatic. Everything looked amazing on me. People asked me how I lost the weight. They said that I had never looked better, that I was so pretty, that I was āgoalsā.
Everything came crashing down when I fainted in front of my mom. She finally realised that I had a problem (despite me haven not eaten dinner in months) and started monitoring my intake. She made me eat 3 calorie dense meals a day. When I went to visit my relatives in the US, things only got worse. The food was so fattening, I just started gaining weight like crazy. Before I knew it, I was 57 kg, the heaviest Iāve ever been. Until now, I had never been heavier than 47 kg.
I have stretch marks on my butt, thighs, and breasts. I hate them so much. I wish I could take a knife and carve them from my body. I hate my body. Iām trying to lose weight, but it seems that I canāt keep myself from shoving fistfuls food into my stupid, gaping mouth.
I donāt know what to do
[Other] Getting a haircut and
/u/kahmanee
Created: Sun Aug 26 08:55:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ag3i9/getting_a_haircut_and/
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the first thing I thought about was would I weigh less on the scale after I finished cutting my hair lmao
[Rant/Rave] Why God and what peanut named it a Jigger?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Sun Aug 26 08:45:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ag11j/why_god_and_what_peanut_named_it_a_jigger/
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https://i.redd.it/nd5denc1agi11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My nightmare
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Sun Aug 26 08:45:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ag0zd/my_nightmare/
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My nightmare would be gaining all the weight I have lost (56kg to 40kg) back to my original weight. My boyfriend said I might gain all the weight back due to my genes (none of my family members are on the skinny side, most of them are either my "normal" weight, 56kg in the past or overweight). I just bought something I might like to have for breakfast, and now, after what he said, I dont wanna eat anymore. Its so triggering. I want to stay thin/slim.
I FINALLY hit a new low weight
/u/Bookeisha [182 cm | 57.3 kg | BMI 17.3 | M ]
Created: Sun Aug 26 08:36:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9afyri/i_finally_hit_a_new_low_weight/
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While I definitely wouldn't recommend the way I went about it, it worked. It'd been losing the same 4-5 kg (10 pounds) over and over again for months now and this time, I was able to push through it without caving to a binge.
Today I finally took the plunge and allowed me to weight myself. I was expecting to be at 59 kg (my goal weight) but the scale said I'd already gone past that point as I'm 57,3 kg (it's an electronic one that gives you stats and it didn't even seem to have recognized me??). I must say I was a little shocked but satisfied nonetheless.
Looking for accountability buddy
/u/yellowposy2
Created: Sun Aug 26 08:36:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9afyqg/looking_for_accountability_buddy/
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[removed]
[Other] What smells make you gag or feel nauseous?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Sun Aug 26 08:24:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9afvtg/what_smells_make_you_gag_or_feel_nauseous/
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I'm making a jam jar of rotten food, partly out of curiosity and partly to put me off food when I am about to have an emotional binge session.
I'm vegan so mostly its just rotten veg, but I live with omni and carnivores so bad meat isnt hard to come by.
What specific smells would you put in?
[I can put alcohol in as I have a history of alcohol abuse and don't trust myself to not drink rotten maggot infested vodka during a low spell][the shit this disease has done to me i swear to God]
Very Worried About My Heart (not looking for diagnosis, just some advice)
/u/inneedofadvice96
Created: Sun Aug 26 08:19:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9afujz/very_worried_about_my_heart_not_looking_for/
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This isn't exactly asking for medical advice, but if it comes too close to it just let me know and I'll delete. I don't really use Reddit beyond lurking, but this seems like a really good community filled with intelligent people and I could definitely use some help. This post will probably be a little long, so thank you to anyone who reads it.
So, for a good five months now I have been living with constant tachycardia. It started suddenly (that I can remember) in April and has not gone away since. At first I thought it was something I could figure out and handle on my own, but I realized a month ago that I was wrong. I made a doctor's appointment but there were no spaces available until September (I may have downplayed the symptoms too much). The tachycardia ended up getting worse, possibly partially due to the anxiety of finally facing up to it as a problem - I couldn't eat or sleep, I was nauseous and trembling basically all of the time, and my heart just would. Not. Stop. It used to be manageable and more of an annoyance than a hinderance but over the last week or so I haven't even been able to get out of bed.
So I went to the ER. On the 23rd. They did and ECG, checked my pulse (that showed my heart rate between 90-110) and BP, and ran a BMP panel along with some other blood tests. They told me my ECG looked fine, I wasn't anemic, and my electrolytes were perfect. They told me to try to stay hydrated and take it easy during my period (because I had told them that it gets worse around then, which it does). The problems with this are that the doctors have no idea that I have an eating disorder, and I don't think I made it clear enough that the tachycardia was worrying and that it wasn't me just being paranoid over having a naturally high heart rate. I'm pretty sure the doctors think it's just an anxiety issue.
Anyway, when I got home I made the mistake of googling some things that I shouldn't have and I've found out that tachycardia in eating disorders are either due to electrolyte imbalances or a serious condition in which 'the prognosis isn't good'. I've been trying very hard to move my regular doctor's appointment up, and I'm going to push for a referral to a cardiologist. I am planning to be as forthcoming as I can about my eating habits (which have been fairly normal for awhile now, to be honest. This has more or less scared me into recovery) and just hope that it doesn't bite me in the ass too bad. Turns out that when it comes down to it id rather ruin my life than not have one to ruin.
I guess what it comes down to is that my internet research has basically told me that I have a decent chance of dying. And since I've already made every wrong choice I possibly could have in dealing with this condition, I was hoping I could hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation, or even just dealt with physicians who aren't experienced with eating disorders and their related health problems. I've really backed myself into a corner with all of this and I'm at a loss about how to go forward. I understand that I'm an adult who should be able to handle their issues, but I am clearly very ill-equipped to do so. And with my life on the line, now doesn't seem like the time to try and figure it out.
Vitamins?
/u/KawaiiFirefly [Height 5'4 |CW175|BMI30|HW210|GW140/20F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 08:05:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9afr4o/vitamins/
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Anyone have a general vitamin they use?
I've been restricting heavily and I'd like to try and be "healthy"
Is there anything else I should be doing?
I'm feeling super lethargic (duh)
I cant really ask anyone IRL because I'd just get the "just eat more veggies/protein"
Thank you for any info you can provide.
(I'm not sure how to flair)
Thigh measurements increased??
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Sun Aug 26 08:02:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9afq95/thigh_measurements_increased/
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So a week ago my thighs were 18.5 in for the left, and 19 for the right.
I haven't changed my activity level, my food intake, or anything, but somehow my thighs grew 0.5 to 1 inch! I don't know why this is happening... I'm measuring at the same time, same place on my thigh...
[Discussion] Food to avoid
/u/ST4RV3
Created: Sun Aug 26 07:48:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9afn50/food_to_avoid/
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Iāve been seeing little to no change in my weight. I eat bread,chicken,cheese and Mac and cheese. Are those food to stay away from? And what are better food to eat. Iām close to breakfast and I need ideas fast. Thanks
[Tip] Life hack for a guilt free birthday(!) Description in comments
/u/AmmoniaBologna
Created: Sun Aug 26 07:32:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9afjou/life_hack_for_a_guilt_free_birthday_description/
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https://i.redd.it/1rnvsg5zwfi11.jpg
Am i crazy but I had a major binge last night and now I donāt even want to drink water this am
/u/gkelleyr
Created: Sun Aug 26 07:29:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9afiuf/am_i_crazy_but_i_had_a_major_binge_last_night_and/
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Woke up still full. Usually I have tea Anything thatāll wake up my body and say itās time to be up I donāt wanna do
yo Iām back in the game
/u/twa1238
Created: Sun Aug 26 07:26:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9afids/yo_im_back_in_the_game/
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I subscribed to the intermittent fasting sub, full on knowing it would trigger my ED. Havenāt eaten for 47 hours now. Not even hungry. Iāve read there that someone hasnāt eaten for months... Itās all I think about honestly
Fun fact Iāve told my therapist (Iām there for different reasons) I have am ED when I stopped binging after weeks and knew Iād start restricting soon and she said Iād be fat it I really had a problem with binging lol. Aināt that professional.
[Other] TIFU by eating a pie (funny)
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 š» CW: 93lbs š» 21F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 07:19:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9afgsx/tifu_by_eating_a_pie_funny/
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(TLDR at the end)
So a little background:
This actually happened Friday night.
My boyfriendās (for story telling purposes weāll just call him BF) grandmother passed 3 weeks ago and the wake/funeral were 2 weeks ago. BF decided to take the week off work to spend some alone time at his auntās lake house to clear his head. I hadnāt seen him in a week (I came up Friday), and also invited 2 friends to visit Friday-Sunday.
END BACKGROUND.
So I unpack my things and notice that there is a pie from the wake 2 weeks ago still on the table. Thereās only about 2/5 the pie left and itās mostly crust (it seemed like someone quite literally took a knife and carved out the center lol). I ignore it and continue unpacking my things.
Fast coward several hours later.
BF, his friends, and I are chilling at a bonfire down by the lake. I suddenly, out of the blue, have a MASSIVE craving for that particular pie. I try to ignore it but the urge is too strong. Iād only eaten like 400 calories that day, worked a 9 hour shift at McDās, and had to pee, so I was on my way up there anyway.
I decided to treat myself.
I go upstairs and instantly KNOW that this isnāt just a ātaste and move onā kinda craving. Itās the āthis pie is about to be g o n e.ā Kinda urge.
āShit. Not a bingeā I think to myself. I get up there and I open the floodgates.
I eat the rest of the pie, minus the crust because I donāt like the crust. So overall it wasnāt too bad since only 2/5 of the pie was left and I only ate 1/3 of each slice.
I throw away the box and am grateful that that was the extend of the binge. I estimated I was probably only at like 1200 max for the night.
āCoolā I think as I throw away the box. āAt least this pie was 2 weeks old and probably wonāt be missed.ā
Ha. Ha. HA.
So I go back down to the campfire just as my boyfriend is talking about the wake and all the leftover food his family has. He suddenly mentions the pie and his friends eagerly perk up. They mention they want the pie. They plan on going upstairs to eat the pie after they finish their drinks.
S. H. I. T.
Of all the times to give into a craving, and of all the foods to BE craving, it had to be that pie and it had to be 5 minutes ago.
I quickly excuse myself to shower and book it inside.
I dig through the trash, get the pie box, run out to my car, and hide it under the seat.
āProbably overkill, but better safe than sorryā I think to myself as I shower.
I come out of the shower to see my boyfriend and his friends tearing apart the food table.
BF: I swear. That pie had been there for two weeks.
Friend: I donāt see it. Are you sure?
BF: yes Iām sure! It was definitely there!
BF sees me.
BF: RachAgainstLeMachine, have you seen that pie?
Me: what pie?
BF: the one from the wake. It was on the table.
Me: ummmm nooo? What flavor was it.
Friend: Cherry apparently.
I go over to the table and start moving stuff around trying to āhelp.ā
Just then my boyfriend goes into the kitchen and CHECKS THE TRASH CAN.
I nearly faint and thank the ED Godsā¢ļø for making me paranoid enough to remove the evidence.
Finally the guys give up the pie as lost decide to eat chips instead.
The end.
TLDR; I
I spent the weekend with my BF and his friends and eat a 2 week old pie because I thought no one wanted it.
Later in the night they mention the pie less than 5 minutes after Iād eaten the whole thing and decide they want to eat it. There is no more pie. Cuz I ate it.
They look for it and canāt find it. My ED paranoia saves my ass when I decide to hide the evidence.
[Rant/Rave] Trying to recover is so fucking hard
/u/Beanutpean
Created: Sun Aug 26 07:17:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9afge0/trying_to_recover_is_so_fucking_hard/
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This is the second time now that I've gotten to a very scary and life threatening place with my anorexia and I really want to get better again. Clinics aren't an option for me as my health insurance is garbage so I have to do this on my own. But it's so damn painful. Every meal hurts my body so much for hours, I literally ate a single sandwich with peanut butter and Chipotle mayo (used to be my favorite thing to eat) and for *five hours* my stomach was aching so bad. Any time I try to eat a normal meal, even a small one, it hurts. It's so hard to be better when even the lightest meals make me feel not only like a fucking whale, but like my insides are ripping apart and going to explode. I just wanna feel okay again, I don't want to be consumed by thoughts about my size, I don't want to think about the calories in every single thing I put in my body. I wanna eat something because it looks good and smells good and because I'm hungry, I don't want to eat sad soups and low calorie veggies every day. I miss being a real person I feel like such a fucking mess.
[Help] B/P cycle
/u/AllyAllien
Created: Sun Aug 26 06:55:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9afbqr/bp_cycle/
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What am I even doing?? What the fuck is wrong with me?
I can't digest like a normal human being. I can't eat. I'm so bad at being alive I can't even fuel my body. I've probably flushed hundreds of pounds worth of food straight down the toilet. I can't eat without purging right after, binge or not. I'm so fixated on my weight even though I keep losing and gaining the same 3lbs. I'm so sick of myself. I'm meant to be recovering. I scratched my throat today and it bled but I still b/p'd again an hour later. Why do I care so much about a stupid number on the scale? Why can't I let myself feel full but also crave the feeling? Why do I see someone so so fat when I look at my reflection yet my boyfriend sees someone beautiful? What's wrong with my eyes? I'm sick of this. I'd rather restrict than binge and purge and binge and purge because even if I'm lying to myself when I restrict I feel in control. I was meant to lose weight this summer but I basically stayed the same. What was the point in even relapsing? All I am is miserable. I'm probably going to go back downstairs and eat some more crap later and cough it up again for the 4th time today and it's only 2pm. I hate myself.
[Rant/Rave] the pros(cons) of working an active job
/u/gayandirresponsible [5'3" | CW 127.2 | WL -42 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 06:18:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9af4oc/the_proscons_of_working_an_active_job/
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everyone keeps attributing my weight loss to the physical activity at my job. They've already got a reason in their head, so I don't have to make up an excuse. Thing is, I've been at that job for over a year now, but have only lost a noticeable amount of weight in the past 4 months. I'm pretty sure I actually gained from starting my job until I started restricting again. It's like my effort isn't being recognized. That it's all thanks to what I have to do at work, not what I choose to do. Whatever, I guess I'll just add their comments to the fuel that sustains my disordered actions.
Daily Food Diary! August 26, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 26 06:11:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9af3b5/daily_food_diary_august_26_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 26, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 26 06:11:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9af3a1/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
Boi, I went out and actually bought myself quite a lot of food to last me at least a week and I've already eaten like three meals by 1pm and I'm still hungry...
/u/graeciamagna
Created: Sun Aug 26 06:08:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9af2ry/boi_i_went_out_and_actually_bought_myself_quite_a/
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This is why I never have any fucking food in the house, I'd genuinely rather faint having to go out and get food than have more than like two things to eat at home because I just eat it all and ruin the fact that I'm at my lowest in years. Lol. SALTY. I've put on like 3lbs in two days.
[Discussion] DAE count other people's calories?
/u/coldfeetfuzzysocks [175 cm | 62 kg | BMI 20.2 | -18 kg | 22f]
Created: Sun Aug 26 04:10:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aejsc/dae_count_other_peoples_calories/
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I don't do it regularly or anything, but I've done my bf's and my mom's a few times. First out of curiosity and then because it felt weirdly exciting to put all that food into mfp (and because calorie counting apparently is my main hobby now). Kind of like an imaginary cheat day or something, idk
Questions for my fellow purgers...
/u/BEDBulimic [153cm | CW: 55.8 | GW1: 55 | -8.2 | 20F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 04:03:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aeiqr/questions_for_my_fellow_purgers/
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- How many days a week do you purge?
- How many times a day do you purge?
- How far does each purge session go/ what makes you end that purge session?
For me,
1. 3-4 days a week
2. Max 3-4 times otherwise my gag reflex literally dies and my tonsils hurt like hell and the back of my tongue gets this weird cracked texture. I also use those thin medical gloves to purge since I dont want to damage my hand, but if my purge session goes for too long it feels pretty dry and abrasive
3. Until the pain in my chest gets too much or I start choking or I physically get too tired to go on. For some reason I rarely reach the point where I think everythingās come out.
What about yāall?
Abnormally sweet sushi??
/u/lovelysilliness
Created: Sun Aug 26 03:57:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aehtj/abnormally_sweet_sushi/
---
I had sushi tonight that the rice tasted pretty sweet on. Do you guys know if thatās a thing restaurants do?? Sushi is a safe food, but now Iām worrying about what I ate.
[Goal] Felt tiny for the first time in years!
/u/astro-punk
Created: Sun Aug 26 03:54:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aehgw/felt_tiny_for_the_first_time_in_years/
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Yay! I was swimming with some guy friends (which is usually triggering), and we were wrestling around in the water, dunking each other, and playing monkey in the middle. They were able to throw me around so easily. Neither of them are huge guys but they still were able to move my entire body easily out of the way. They also kept on saying that I was small. Idk it's hard to explain but it just felt nice to be small and kinda fragile.
[Discussion] Any other Jews here getting ready for Rosh Hashana/Yom Kippur? What are your goals for the new year?
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | CW: 68kg | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 03:54:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aehfq/any_other_jews_here_getting_ready_for_rosh/
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The Jewish new year is approaching and I honestly feel like itās the perfect time for a fresh start considering summer is ending and school is starting for most people (not yours truly tho. Another year and 4 months of the army ššš)
Jews and non Jews alike - what are your goals for the new year/new time period?
Iām in middle of working out mine and I would love to be inspired by what you guys have to say :)
Visiting some family and...
/u/ImNotUnique____
Created: Sun Aug 26 03:37:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aeexh/visiting_some_family_and/
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I'm up at 3:30am because I can't sleep because my dad is still an alcoholic among many other reasons and it rips my fucking heart out...
But at least my relatives have commented on how small I've gotten!
Now let me go cry into my wine that I've been able to restrict to account for, reveling in the irony that booze and familial compliments are my comfort right now.
[Other] Lately recovery has felt impossible when being at my low weight is so comfortable...feel like Iām just stuck unable to get better and Iām tired of fighting my disorder all the time. This is how I like my body, wether itās healthy or not. I feel trapped.
/u/moonshineknox [5'6" | 100 | 16.21| -15| F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 03:10:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aeazn/lately_recovery_has_felt_impossible_when_being_at/
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https://i.redd.it/u6uc6996mei11.jpg
so tired of restricting and seeing no results, does anyone else feel helpless when this happens? [vent]
/u/kittenbun [5'9 | CW 169 | GW 126 | HW 231 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 03:05:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aea6e/so_tired_of_restricting_and_seeing_no_results/
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my stats are in my flair - i've been restricting/fasting for over a month solid with no binging/purging relapses (yet) losing about 2lb a week through calorie counting only, no exercise because it makes me so miserable.
but this week i've lost *nothing*.
my period is due literally today and my mother (who has an ED too) keeps stressing that it's just because my body is retaining fluid (i know this) but it's still so so so frustrating. i haven't lost anything since tuesday (21/08) and it makes me feel like i've been wasting my time starving myself when all i *really* want to do is sit down and eat an entire lasagne, a big bowl of mac cheese, a huge plate of chili con carne, and a roast dinner fit for a king. yup.
i'm not gonna stop (lol i say that like i have a choice) but it's just so disheartening. i'm thinking i might need to lower my daily calories? i'm on 1k a day at the moment which is a *lot* compared to other dailies i've seen, but so far it's managed to stop me from going ham and Eating Everythingā¢.
i just feel like it shouldn't be *this slow* when i'm still so fat and have so much to lose (43lb). if i keep it really real, i'm actually afraid of lowering my intake because in the past when i've done that, my metabolism (already slow) came to a total halt and anything i ate made me *gain* which was horrendous.
i just want to be small already. i have such a long way to go. i'm so jealous of you guys that are already close to your GW's. you're all an inspiration to me xx
Iām so jealous of people who donāt have a sweet tooth
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | CW: 68kg | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 02:51:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ae81m/im_so_jealous_of_people_who_dont_have_a_sweet/
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Not only did I down 2 cupcakes today, I ate a concerning amount cake by myself over the weekend and I also ate binged on 8 chocolate chip cookies after a 2 day fast.
I just donāt know why Iām like this. I want to hate sugar. I have friends who turn down stuff because itās too sweet and makes them nauseas. HOW???? How do I stop liking sugar so fucking much?! Itās my weakness. I literally can control myself around every food other than sugary baked goods.
Like I avoid added sugars in EVERYTHING. I drink my coffee black or with a drop of milk never sugar. I eat dark chocolate. I will only buy unsweetened nut/coconut milks. Yet all those sugar rules go out the window when it comes to sweets. :( I donāt know how to stop this.
Drunk rambles but I love ya
/u/enigmatichoices [5'7F | 160 | gw1: 150 | gw2: 140]
Created: Sun Aug 26 02:38:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ae6dr/drunk_rambles_but_i_love_ya/
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Hey yāall Iām kinda drunk right now but Iām gonna do my best. Just moved to a new city for college and itās been really hard balancing work and life and trying to lose weight without looking like one of those girls whoās always eating a salad or Diet Coke . Anyways, idk what my flair says but I bought a scale for my dorm and Iām down to 152lbs as of yesterday so thatās something l. Still trying to get to 115 tho-itāll happen soon enough. Itās so easy to skip meals here and still seem normal. Go to class, get cofffee, then hang with the girls and go out, two shots and Iām messed up because I havenāt eaten; then a guilt free drunk meal of fries and chicken while still staying under 1000 Cal for the day. Iām in itās engineering program, so seeing these tiny 5ā1 and 90lb girls is kind of hard considering theyāre smart and small, but Iām trying my best. I always prided myself on my intellect because looks were never my strong suit, so Iāve just been spiraling out of control comparing myself to people here.Sorry for the rambles itās just been weird transitioning to college life and I thought Iād share my 4am thoughts :) hope everyone is doing alright . šš
[Goal] EEEEEEEE I have 16lbs til my next goal I am excited
/u/softdyke
Created: Sun Aug 26 02:33:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ae5on/eeeeeeee_i_have_16lbs_til_my_next_goal_i_am/
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https://i.redd.it/a27ufoplfei11.jpg
[Help] Low-Cal Alcohol Ideas
/u/bonjour_aloha
Created: Sun Aug 26 02:30:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ae56v/lowcal_alcohol_ideas/
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Iām going back to uni in a few days. Of my seven roommates, three of us, including me, have birthdays just before we get back, so between reuniting and celebrating...weāre planning on drinking. Everyone involved is legal; yay, Canada (19 and not 21, like this US, for my province).
My default is to just not drink but like, I want to celebrate, since I know I wonāt have much time to once school starts. Ofc, I also just reached the high end of my GW range and getting to a body Iād actually be happy with seems more real possible than ever. I donāt want to screw that up.
Iām a lightweight and content with that. Also, not interested in getting super drunk so much as comfortably buzzed.
I was thinking of mixing vodka with La Croix or some other zero Cal sodas? Any other suggestions? And as always, drinking plenty of water.
[Rant/Rave] Yaaaaaaaaaaay I whooshed
/u/BunnyAwesome [5'7"| F | CW 125 | GW 110]
Created: Sun Aug 26 02:29:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ae4yv/yaaaaaaaaaaay_i_whooshed/
---
Was so annoyed with myself for having the second strawberry daiquiri yesterday and going over 900 calories but have been rewarded by whooshing away a couple of pounds overnight! I am so pleased with myself, I allowed myself a thin cinnamon and raisin bagel for breakfast and cup of tea with hemp milk š
This means I've lost 15lbs in 2 months and have hit a milestone of finally being under 9st. 124.4lbs. I was shellshocked when i read that number.
Sorry for the ramble I think the sugar from breakfast has gone to my head š
no longer underweight
/u/MindlessOperation
Created: Sun Aug 26 02:27:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ae4q5/no_longer_underweight/
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the one. thing. i told myself is that iād never go back out of the underweight bmi category, and i fucking did it, fucking 18.5 as of tonight.
my mom told me i was ālosing weight againā and i didnāt think i was, but i thought, hey, you never know, iāll weigh myself. iāve been too scared to since i stopped taking my adderall and started fucking binge eating and emotional eating and every time i think about my weight i want to fucking eat. but i checked, and i fucking gained weight. iām almost back at 115, which has been my biggest fear for almost a year. i genuinely canāt believe i was 98 pounds earlier this year.
iām so fucking upset. i wanna die. iām not in recovery, thatās the last thing i want, but iām fucking ballooning every day, and i hate it and i hate myself and iām done and iām so fucking stressed. probably gonna go cut myself brb haha.
My reasons for not eating are different now.
/u/sstephenn [5'10 | 126.2/57.2 | 18.1 | -60/27.2 | Male ]
Created: Sun Aug 26 02:24:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ae48w/my_reasons_for_not_eating_are_different_now/
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I'm wondering if anyone else feels similar... I stopped eating because I was so uncomfortable, but now I just feel a disconnect with everything. Eating just feels too exhausting for me to do every day to maintain my weight. I just don't feel anything about my body or something anymore. How can I just go from one end of the spectrum to the other lollll. Have your reasons for your eating behaviors changed?
my boyfriend, intentionally or not, is making me relapse
/u/lopmonster
Created: Sun Aug 26 01:55:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ae028/my_boyfriend_intentionally_or_not_is_making_me/
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in 2014-15 i lost a lot of weight (around 20kg) and induced me to develop and ED (binging and purging) and even though I never reached my goal weight and, quite frankly, Iām still quite overweight, Iāve tried to get better and building more confidence. But recently, for the past month or so, my boyfriend who is quite skinny/lanky is pressuring and almost forcing me to lose weight ?? and to him itās just losing weight and i think he thinks that me having an ED at a higher weight is almost a joke. I can feel myself slowly slipping back into me of the past and if anything maybe even becoming worse .. I hate it but I love him and Iād also love to have a body both him and I are proud of ....
Keto diet ideas
/u/cancookaroast [179cm | CW: 80kg | BMI: 24.9 | WL: 17kg | 22F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 01:46:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9adyve/keto_diet_ideas/
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Is anyone here keto and eats 500-800 calories? What do you eat?
[Discussion] DAE just accept the binge?
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 01:37:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9adxea/dae_just_accept_the_binge/
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At this point Iāve accepted the inevitability of binging. Iām assuming itās somewhat a normal biological response and somewhat just a symptom of my disordered relationship with good. When Iām not restricting, I donāt binge at all. When I am, I binge like once a week. But I kind of donāt care and just accept it as part of the process bc I figure If I can pull off a 2-3000 cal day once a week and just compensate the rest of the time by restricting and still lose 2 lbs a week, then why stress about it? It makes me feel like my ed is a fraud but it also feels way more sustainable/bearable than hating myself for something I clearly canāt control
[Help] Iām on mobile, is there a way to find the discord group?
/u/shipp-solomon
Created: Sun Aug 26 01:20:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9adv0w/im_on_mobile_is_there_a_way_to_find_the_discord/
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Iāve been trying everything but canāt find it.
[Discussion] I made up for a bad day today.
/u/coffeehearts [5'5" | CW 126.8 | GW 116 | BMI 21.1 | F(26)]
Created: Sun Aug 26 01:03:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9adsbm/i_made_up_for_a_bad_day_today/
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Yesterday I made the mistake of accepting some food from a coworker that was really salty and fatty. I wasn't planning to really eat it but it was just sitting at my desk and I gave in. I felt so horrible and my stomach was already rejecting it, so I ended up purging what I could to feel better. It was almost like pure oil coming up, ew.
After 24 hours of feeling sick from that monstrosity I managed to finish today with healthy choices, well under my calorie limit. I just wanted to share my story of having a really bad day that that I was able to correct the next day. I feel like tomorrow I can continue like it never happened. And hopefully I've learned never to accept shitty food at work!
Going out with a boyfriend
/u/ramen_nudes
Created: Sun Aug 26 00:57:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9adr88/going_out_with_a_boyfriend/
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I used to be 117lbs before I met my boyfriend and 6 months in I weighed in at 130lbs and itās been triggering my ED for 7 months now. I used to be so in control and now I cannot stop an endless cycle of bingeing, starving and laxing. Iāve only lost 2lbs and I think itās because my boyfriend and I always go out around town and usually (always his idea) stop by a cafe. I feel as if I cannot say no. How do I gain control again? How I avoid eating or even going to the cafes in the first place?
Meds. Meh.
/u/xStingx
Created: Sun Aug 26 00:48:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9adpyi/meds_meh/
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Made dinner, deliberately ate half and forgot I was supposed to take my meds with food. I already scheduled a purge after eating so there was no way I could take my meds with the food and then purge. So of course, I purged and just drank my pills down with diet coke. Isn't life grand? Also gave the other half of the food to my dog. Just so I wouldn't be tempted.
[Rant/Rave] I gave away my dinner because I forgot to weigh one ingredient
/u/chezpajama
Created: Sun Aug 26 00:39:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9adolr/i_gave_away_my_dinner_because_i_forgot_to_weigh/
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And it was onions. Which I know are not calorie dense, but I couldnāt allow myself to eat it anymore.
It was mixed with other stuff so I couldnāt just dump it back on the scale.
I just finished cooking it and then gave it to my boyfriend.
[Help] Advice? Ate a big meal to try and recover but tummy hurts!
/u/ExtraterritorialEve
Created: Sun Aug 26 00:14:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9adkjq/advice_ate_a_big_meal_to_try_and_recover_but/
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So this weekend I came clean to my boyfriend and we had a big cry together and heās deeply encouraging I eat bigger meals to help my stomach adjust to more food again.
So last night we made a normal sized meal and I tried to eat it all, I managed 746 calories that day, 300 more than I have been eating for some time.
But now Iām left with awful tummy pains since eating and Iām still constipated (lol sorry for tmi?) and struggling to not have a panic attack that I ate so much without purging it.
[Rant/Rave] tried ec stacking for the first time today!
/u/disfigures [5'4 | CW: 122 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 26 00:11:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9adk40/tried_ec_stacking_for_the_first_time_today/
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and it ended my 2 week binge streak!! unfortunately i gained nearly 10 pounds during those two weeks so hopefully this means i'm hopping back on the wagon now
[Rant/Rave] Blaming how my body looks when i dont get what i want
/u/PhoneWalletSanity [156cm/5'1.5| 100 lbs| 19.4| 18F| Exploring Recovery]
Created: Sat Aug 25 23:21:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9adbg4/blaming_how_my_body_looks_when_i_dont_get_what_i/
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So I've been high key hitting on one of my coworker's friends and after not being able to immediately get into his pants, I concluded that it was because my jeans and shirt were too loose so I looked thicker (especially my legs) and therefore unnatractive.
Obviously I understand that
a) being heavier than me isn't unattractive and that a lot of the people I admire for their looks are heavier than me
b) this dude barely knows me and we're not exactly in situations where it'd be okay to suddenly plan to fuck/get to know each other
c) my clothes made me look fine and my body is fine and looks fine in them
d) those jeans are from my HW so they're not going to fit/flatter me well at all (loose skinny jeans? lmao)
That being said, I fully intend on wearing tighter jeans for the next time I'm going to potentially see him.
[Rant/Rave] Iām scared of accidentally killing myself with refeeding syndrome
/u/motivation-cat
Created: Sat Aug 25 23:16:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9adamu/im_scared_of_accidentally_killing_myself_with/
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Hi...this is long, so thereās a tl;dr at the bottom.
This past week, from Monday to Friday, I did 23 hour fasts every day, and in the hour window I allowed myself to eat, it was never more than 300 cals. Obviously, this is super fucking unhealthy, and I felt horrible the entire time. I was only motivated by the desire to be 90 pounds.
Come this morning, and itās weigh-in day. My weight comes in at 90 pounds. Sound familiar? So, in celebration of this feat, I let myself have some small snack.
I ended up spiraling into a binge. Around 1,600 calories. Which is above my TDEE.
Right now, Iām in so much pain. My stomach is throbbing and swollen and in agony, and even my heart kind of hurts. Despite never having purged in my life, I ended up throwing up around 6 times just because I ate so much.
This isnāt even the first time this has happened. Just a couple of weeks ago I threw up because I ate too much, too. And I canāt go to the doctor because theyāll see how much I weigh and I wonāt be able to lie to them and theyāll force me to recover.
Iāve read a lot about refeeding syndrome and how itās incredibly dangerous, especially if you eat a lot of calories following a period of eating very little or fasting. Both of which Iām prone too.
What if one day I take it too far? What if one day I eat too much and my stomach and heart canāt take it? What if my electrolytes become so imbalanced that I fall into a coma and never wake up? Iām so scared of going to sleep after a binge like this and never waking up.
Tl;dr: Iām prone to binges after eating so little, which hurts really bad, and one day it could trigger refeeding syndrome, which could kill me. And Iām terrified of that fact.
[Rant/Rave] Anxiety
/u/dre-ezy [5ā4 | CW 109 | GW 100 | 18FtM]
Created: Sat Aug 25 23:14:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ada7w/anxiety/
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i just arrived at my dad's where i'll be staying for a few days. it's not hard to restrict around him because he's really not a foodie and the family just kind of fends for themselves and don't have meals together. but i ate way too fcking much today and the only way to relieve my anxiety would be to plan my meals for the next couple days but i can't just start going through his fucking cupboards and going through all the fucking food like a weirdo :^)
[Rant/Rave] I want to cry. summers are the worst
/u/Biiou
Created: Sat Aug 25 23:04:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ad8gc/i_want_to_cry_summers_are_the_worst/
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First of all hello lovelies this is my first post on here, I hope to post more in the future. I've been just scared of being judged ngl.
So I've been on vacation with my family for the weekend and I thought I would be able to be in control of my eating habits (I even packed myself sandwiches with everything weighed out and even low cal snacks) but then I threw all that hard work away and have been stuffing my face with anything and everything. Ahh I wanna cry so much but I cant help myself. my mom has made us eat out every single meal I feel like I'm gonna explode like the whale I am.
Thank God theres a gym and pool at this hotel but I also feel like passing tf out. Omg I cant wait to go home to my apartment and be in control of my eating habits again. I feel like I'm gaining and losing the same 10 pounds, while my friend is on her last 15lbs before her GW šššš
Overall I feel like summers are horrible because I'm not nearly as busy so I just eat
Sorry this is all over the place
[Discussion] Anyone else smoke? How to get over it without sugar cravings?
/u/lights-in-the-sky [5'5 | 130 | M]
Created: Sat Aug 25 22:59:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ad7hm/anyone_else_smoke_how_to_get_over_it_without/
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Title pretty much says it all. I am a dumbass and (despite my history of drug addiction) I thought I would be able to control myself with nicotine but I canāt. It helps suppress my appetite and when I try to quit I just crave sugar like crazy, even though I never particularly liked it before.
Iāve always been the kind of person who would like, eat 3 bagels at once, or a bunch of empty carbs, over say, a slice of cake or chocolate. I donāt particularly enjoy extremely sugary foods, but now I want them all the time whenever I try to quit smoking.
Iām not even angry at myself for failing to reach my GW by the dates Iād hoped, Iām just afraid Iāll gain even more. I donāt think Iāve ever been āoverweightā for my height in my entire life, but Iām on the cusp, yk?! I feel like I should be able to control myself with these things but I just canāt.
[Other] My mom told me to stop losing weight
/u/Internet_Soup
Created: Sat Aug 25 22:53:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ad6g9/my_mom_told_me_to_stop_losing_weight/
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Like the title says she told me to stop losing weight today while I was out shopping and trying on clothes and she saw how different my body looks. But how can I stop when I'm starting to love seeing my bones start protruding? I'm doing body checks every time I see my reflection or see a mirror and just seeing my collar bone and hip bones coming out makes me so happy. I'm even starting to see a bit of a thigh gap.
I might not be where I want to be but maybe I'll get there soon. It kinda scares me that I'm becoming more sick in the head but oh well
[Rant/Rave] My dad was really mean to me.
/u/milk-and-honie
Created: Sat Aug 25 22:33:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ad2ih/my_dad_was_really_mean_to_me/
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We were watching a movie tonight having a good time - I ate normally for the first time in over three weeks and had a proper meal. He hasnāt seen me eat those three weeks because we both work weird hours.
The kid onscreen was fat, and working out half-heartedly to some dumb aerobics tape trying to get thin and failing. Dad called out āWell that reminds me of someone!ā Very pointedly meaning me.
It hurt. Monday I start school and Iāve decided to eat broth only for a week. Maybe if I eat 15 calories a day I wonāt feel so bad about myself anymore. I know itās dumb? But Iām like, crying in my bed right now. This is the same dad who said I had a ān***** assā two or three weeks ago. I hate myself.
I made low cal muffins! Recipie in comments
/u/rebexca16ansell
Created: Sat Aug 25 22:22:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ad0e4/i_made_low_cal_muffins_recipie_in_comments/
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https://i.redd.it/2yt9keeu6di11.jpg
I'm tired
/u/Arakance [5'2" | CW: 116lb | GW: 90lb | SW: 125lb | 19F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 22:22:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ad08m/im_tired/
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I'm tired of my hands smelling like vomit. Of binging, purging, fasting, binging, purging, restricting, rinse and repeat.
I'm tired of carrying my own weight, the pounds and pounds of fat that refuse to budge because I refuse to budge.
I'm tired of people commenting on my food choices, of pretending to be ok with binges, of pretending to like restriction food, of pretending my fast is for crunchy health reasons and not because I fucked up.
I'm tired of being tired or manic with barely any in between.
I'm tired of being fat.
a bit of a weird rave
/u/ci-fre [5' | 7x lb | ? | F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 22:18:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aczlt/a_bit_of_a_weird_rave/
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yo C:
So I guess my current eating disorder situation is kind of strangeāI'm not fully in the worst depths of it, and I guess I have some sort of semblance of normality now. I'm safe vital signs wise, and part of my life is just trying to... manage it.
I'll probably never be okay with the thought of maintaining a "healthy BMI" weight in the normal range. So my parents (mainly my mom, I guess) don't really care as long as I'm able to have healthy blood tests/menstrual cycles. I increased my intake and felt gradually better, which was nice.
Today I actually got my period. I'm not sure *exactly* how much I weigh atm due to huge fluctuations but I'm in the mid 70-lbs, I think.
I feel really relieved. that it's sort of possible to be, at least semi-healthy, without gaining to the normal range. Like, there's still hope to be at a weight I'm mentally fine with and physically okay with.
I guess I'll always have an ED but I wanted to rave about this somewhere XD
[Help] Low cal food ideas??
/u/ST4RV3
Created: Sat Aug 25 22:13:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9acykq/low_cal_food_ideas/
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I tend to snack a lot so are there any low cal and low fat foods that are snackable for example (celery,lettuce)
[Discussion] What are your food rules and rituals
/u/gothicapples
Created: Sat Aug 25 22:13:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9acyjq/what_are_your_food_rules_and_rituals/
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Inspired by askreddit
What are yours?
I love you guys
/u/sonorie [5'4" | F | SW 135 | CW 119 | LW 113 | GW 105]
Created: Sat Aug 25 21:26:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9acom9/i_love_you_guys/
---
I'm really lonely and you all help a lot just by existing
[Discussion] Food is only appealing when iām starving
/u/tarynughhh
Created: Sat Aug 25 21:08:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ackpq/food_is_only_appealing_when_im_starving/
---
i had an entire meal plan today (saturdayās are my free days and i let myself eat whatever i want) i planned on making pancakes and eggs and bacon. i are all of that and i was miserably full for HOURS? i didnāt even eat that much which is odd. i think my stomach shrunk tbh. i was going to binge on sweets too but nothing seemed appealing at all and i actually made myself eat some of my fav foods and they just didnāt taste...right....i have no idea whatās wrong with me
[Other] Hungry with no appetite?
/u/ST4RV3
Created: Sat Aug 25 21:08:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ackhh/hungry_with_no_appetite/
---
I usually feel hungry throughout the day but with no appetite, are there any alternatives to trick the body into thinking that your eating? Or any low cal snack ideas. Iāll take anything at this point
[Discussion] Anyone else excited for school just because restricting is easier?
/u/yellowposy2
Created: Sat Aug 25 21:00:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9acirb/anyone_else_excited_for_school_just_because/
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Omg, Iām SO excited for school because since Iāve tried ~recovery~ I gained like 15 lbs and I look absolutely disgusting. Itās so much easier to restrict at school because I can take my ephedrine in peace and ignore food the whole day. This is my last year of college and Iām determined to lose this weight. It wonāt even make me underweight, just slightly above and then I can go back to recovery but with healthier food and no beer.
I'm somewhat at peace with my body... but I CAN'T stop restricting
/u/HungryThrowMeAway [š¹4'11 | CW 98-96 lbs | GW 95 lbs | -27 lbs | Fš¹]
Created: Sat Aug 25 20:56:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aci35/im_somewhat_at_peace_with_my_body_but_i_cant_stop/
---
Hello to all my sweet, stevia flavoured friends on Proed.
So, like the title says, I'm somewhat at peace with my body right now. I'm not saying I love it, but I don't feel any crippling self hatred stemming from it at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I still feel like a subhuman Coke Zero monster for not exercising, but that crippling self hatred is related to hatred of my laziness, not my body.
Here's the issue.
I
CANNOT
STOP
RESTRICTING
I know if I ate normally, I'd be able to exercise. I'd get toned, and be less lazy, as well as not worrying people around me. I don't feel super fat right now, so I shouldn't feel any need to restrict. But I do. I hate if I eat over 500 calories a day. My preferrable range is 450 or below. I don't know why I'm still doing this to myself. Part of me wants to stop, but part of me doesn't. A big part of me wants to keep restricting.
And now I'm getting imposter syndrome too. I feel like a fake now that I don't hate my body anymore. I keep thinking "you don't have an eating disorder anymore, you're just choosing to restrict because you want to. How dare you post on ED forums?"
Whelp, time to pop open a pack of my little white friends, and drink my sorrows away! (Pepsi Max and gum, of course. Crippling alcoholism and smoking are currently the only two issues I DON'T have. Yet)
[Rant/Rave] This summer Iāve actually had an okay-ish view of my body, but I feel like thatās about to turn around real soon.
/u/aprilfades
Created: Sat Aug 25 20:54:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9achmk/this_summer_ive_actually_had_an_okayish_view_of/
---
Itās so weird. Somehow when I look at myself right now, I donāt hate what I see. I donāt think Iām attractive or anything, but I donāt feel ashamed of being seen in public, at least.
The drawback of this is that Iāve been binging more. A lot more. Disgustingly more. I must have gained fifteen pounds this summer. And Iām just waiting for the inevitable breakdown when my brain realizes that.
Hunger pains
/u/ST4RV3
Created: Sat Aug 25 20:51:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9acgyx/hunger_pains/
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āwhat are some things you can do you stop hunger pain.ā as I hit my calorie limit but I get very hungry afterwards is there anything I can do without eating anything?
[Other] Christian Bale diet day 3
/u/evian-x
Created: Sat Aug 25 20:41:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9acerx/christian_bale_diet_day_3/
---
Waist: 31"
CW: 120.5 (nice!!!)
Plans: I work today for 7.5 hours again, but was invited out to breakfast (yikes!)
Log: Tuna packet: 80. Frozen grapes: 70. A rather delicious salmon, egg white, and cream cheese scramble with 3 buttermilk pancakes: 511 - 626 (i couldn't find the nutritional info so this is mostly estimated)
Just. A bunch of theater food from work, I'm probably gonna restrict to 150 or fast for a bit to get myself back on track ://
Exercise: Going to my job as usual
[Discussion] DAE here have no friends?
/u/mks_993
Created: Sat Aug 25 20:36:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9acdp2/dae_here_have_no_friends/
---
Itās sad and embarrassing to admit but I basically have no friends. I had some really great friends in college, including my current best friend, but now we all live in different cities and in my current city I have nobody.
I spend so much alone, with only my negative thoughts to keep me company. Iāve convinced myself that nobody will want to be friends with/date me until Iāve reached my goal weight.
Itās so exhausting though. Iām sick of being alone and Iām sick of hating my body so much.
I guess I just came here to rant and see if anyone else is in a similar situation..
[Discussion] Cottage cheese on a bagel?
/u/Isaidbiiiitttttttchh [Height 5ā9ā| HW:216| CW:150 | GW: 132 Gender: F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 20:22:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9acads/cottage_cheese_on_a_bagel/
---
Has anyone tried this? My disordered brain can logic putting cream cheese on a bagel until I know this isnāt an option.
Cream cheese is just so high fat and low protein :-/
I hate when people give me excuses to ignore the voice telling me overeat
/u/gkelleyr
Created: Sat Aug 25 19:42:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ac1aw/i_hate_when_people_give_me_excuses_to_ignore_the/
---
So when I make up my mind that Iām gonna eat bad the next day cause Iām on vacation or something then I always go Ham. Especially when itās free I overeat. And eat food (sweets, still avoid most carbs but some) I usually wouldnāt. But mostly my nutritionist wants me to gain wait so like duh when my friend doesnāt touch their chocolate, Iām gonna eat it even tho I just had a pie and half my friends steak. And when my other friend doesnāt finish his cake, I eat his too. Iāve only full in binged today once but today itās like I had no off button and so everyone who at my table got full two courses before me. Usually I would never touch the dessert and even brought my own healthy sweets but I was high and when I just felt like saying fuck it, Iād be like well I have to gain weight anyways even tho now I am so stuffed Iām bedridden. You know how everyoneās always like 3500 cals =1 LB to make you feel better well I had more than that. And in front of people was the weirdest part cause they were like whatās up w this chick. I also just love trying different foods and there were so many options.
48 hour fast ended with a 1000 calorie meal
/u/BeginningBarnacle
Created: Sat Aug 25 19:37:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ac07f/48_hour_fast_ended_with_a_1000_calorie_meal/
---
šš¤¦š½āāļøš¤·āāļø
[Rant/Rave] Clothing sizing and dysmorphia
/u/velocity2ds
Created: Sat Aug 25 19:25:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9abxhh/clothing_sizing_and_dysmorphia/
---
I know one answer for all this is likely just vanity sizing being fucked Up for women. I went shopping today and I was trying to buy pants and I assumed I'm probably a 4 but that was way too loose and I ended up being a size 0. Size 0 was just too weird to me that it's me. I even tried on dresses and small was too big that an xxs fit so much better. Like i know I have bad body dysmorphia but those sizes are just not what my body should be. This was at la chateau if anyone else has experienced weird sizing with them. I know in some common sense way I'm not big but i don't know it was just odd. You think small sizes than I've ever had would be reaffirming but it just made me feel like a cheat
Anybody get obsessed with one food for a few weeks and then never want it again?
/u/ProbablyNeedGlasses
Created: Sat Aug 25 19:21:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9abwe9/anybody_get_obsessed_with_one_food_for_a_few/
---
I am definitely an all or nothing person, and I tend to get obsessed with one particular thing and then just eat that single food/dish for a couple weeks before getting over it and finding a new favorite thing.
Right now itās dry roasted almonds. I only want to munch on those, plus I do OMAD so it kind of works since too many nuts upset my stomach.
In the past my āmeal of the momentā (or obsession if you want to be honest) has been oatmeal for every meal, egg white scrambles, smoothie bowls, steamed Japanese potato (I do not recommend having one for breakfast, lunch, and dinner unless you have time to fall into a carb coma lol).
Anyone else do this? Sometimes my obsessions last for a week before getting over it, and other times I can want one single food for a couple months before finding it absolutely disgusting and moving on.
[Discussion] DAE follow food related subreddits just to torture themselves?
/u/kayasawyer [ 4'11 | 100 | 18.5 | 20 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 19:18:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9abvul/dae_follow_food_related_subreddits_just_to/
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[Help] Stupid Questions Saturday: HOW can I be less horny on an EC stack?
/u/red9drqgons
Created: Sat Aug 25 19:05:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9abss3/stupid_questions_saturday_how_can_i_be_less_horny/
---
I am SO HORNY when I EC stack. I take it M-F it to suppress appetite like all of you guys, so I am hoping you have some insight. I also take the stack cause it helps me focus at work and be in a stimulant-y, productive work mentality. Kinda like adderall but cheap n' legal.
​
​
HOWEVER. I have an earlobe FETISH when I EC stack. Usually I am gay, but apparently not when I combine these two legal drugs in the name of weight loss and well-kept excel spreadsheets. I wanna suck those soft, fuzzy lobes. Guys and girls. It is so gonna get me sent to HR if I keep this up.
​
​
For reference: I take half a Bronkaid (12.5 mg ephedrine sulfate) and a cup of coffee (\~180 mg caffeine) 1-2x a day at around 9:30 am, 1pm. I don't find either of these substances to have the same effect when taken solo and otherwise I have no bad side effects.
​
SOS, you guys are my only hope.
[Discussion] You ever think its a SIGN
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 105 | 19.2 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 19:01:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9abs3f/you_ever_think_its_a_sign/
---
Dropped boiling water all over my hands and thighs trying to make my OMAD of those batty tofu noodles. Too much pain to think of eating. How often do you perceive these things as signs to not eat?
[Rant/Rave] Started purging and realized I had just taken my birth control
/u/sunshineandpuppies98
Created: Sat Aug 25 18:58:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9abrcm/started_purging_and_realized_i_had_just_taken_my/
---
Fml do I keep purging because fuck it the damage is done or ??? Why am I like this
Usually take all my pills after purging but I fucked up yāall
Iām supposed to get my period in a couple days anyways so Iām probably fine.... right?
HAPPY UPDATE: I'm going on my first international vacation in a couple months, and all I can think about is how disappointed I am in the way my body looks.
/u/ghost_khajiit
Created: Sat Aug 25 18:09:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9abf6u/happy_update_im_going_on_my_first_international/
---
This is a follow-up to a post a few months ago, [linked here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8ruo9e/im_going_on_my_first_international_vacation_in_a/).
<Enter>
My vacation was last week, and I am happy to report that I FELT GERAT!
<Enter>
There were a few times where I felt really gross about the pictures that were being taken, but I felt so comfortable with myself and my body while I was just ~living~ and getting dressed and hanging out in a swimsuit. I wasn't even worried about restricting either! The food was so fresh and delicious, it didn't even cross my mind to think about how many calories were in it.
<Enter>
Most of all, I wish I could just bottle up that feeling of not hating my body. Now that I'm back and the novelty has worn off, I'm back to my usual ways, but I think that my trip helped me lighten up on myself. Maybe I can be healthy?????? What kind of magic is that?????
<Enter>
**BONUS:** While I was packing for vacation, I pulled out a pair of denim, high-waisted shorts I bought online for a concert last year but couldn't button, and NOW THEY'RE TOO BIG. But I really like them, so I'm wearing them now lol. **ALSO**, I dug out a crop top today and only hated myself a little bit for it. Is this recovery??? The not-hating-myself-as-much?????
<Enter>
**TLDR: I went on the vacation, I wasn't self conscious or obsessing over the food, and now I hate myself a little less**
[Rant/Rave] My ED Makes it Really Hard to Work
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Sat Aug 25 18:07:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aberq/my_ed_makes_it_really_hard_to_work/
---
I've mentioned this before on this sub but I work as a hostess in a restuarant that is very understaffed. I basically live paycheck to paycheck and deal with incredibly rude people all day long. I'm always exhausted. Running back and forth. Filling waters. Bussing tables. Answering stupid questions. All while running on under 100 calories all day. Watching people eat and eat and eat and eat. I come home smelling like grease. I'm so fucking tired all the time. It's getting difficult lifting stacks of plates and glasses....
[Discussion] Do underweight bodies turn you on or off?
/u/rocksnowls
Created: Sat Aug 25 18:06:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9abemu/do_underweight_bodies_turn_you_on_or_off/
---
For some reason, there is something inherently un-sexy about underweight bodies to me. In general though, i'm super jealous of people who are underweight; not because i find them attractive, but because they look like how i want my body to feel
Good C/S foods?
/u/fourthirty-fourAM [23.79 > 22.31 > 17.84]
Created: Sat Aug 25 18:01:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9abddo/good_cs_foods/
---
Iāve never chewed/spat before but what are some of the best foods to do it with? Everything Iām thinking of I feel like would result in ingesting a lot of calories anyway?
My story
/u/Dankertist [5'3'' | 111 | 19.7 | 4 lbs. | Female]
Created: Sat Aug 25 17:45:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ab9vi/my_story/
---
I still don't remember everything, because my memory has blacked out for some of it. I can still feel the pain.
​
My mom found out about my then 1 year struggle with disorderly eating habits when I was 14. She was looking through my google search history of 500 calorie diets, and ways of hiding bulimia. She forced me to sit next to her in that tiny bedroom as she scrolled through hours of google searches. She addressed the issue by hammering me with guilt, comparing me to my non-supportive father, threatening to develop an eating disorder herself, and forcing me to quit through fear of being caught. She made me feel so weak in that moment, I felt like I was a monster. The next day she was quiet about it, and acted as though nothing had happened. In a weird way, I felt safe, because I initially thought that she wasn't going to punish me. I was wrong. We went to run some errands together that day, and we were on our way home. Suddenly, I noticed that she was turning the vehicle in the wrong direction down this rural side-road, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. She pulled the car into this eerie religious housing facility, the kind that parents send their kids to for being rebellious. Without warning, she proceeded to tell me that she was going to leave me there, and that I was going to be placed into foster care for the rest of my teen years. She implied that I was never going to see her or my sister again. I completely broke down, and had a hysterical panic attack right in front of her. She just stared at me with this smug smirk on her face, as if she felt empowered by watching me fall apart. Of course, this was all a bluff meant to traumatize me into quitting cold turkey, and surprisingly, this still isn't the worst thing she's ever done to me. This didn't fix the issue, and I eventually relapsed at the age of 15, dropping down to 103 lbs. Thankfully, she never found out that it was due to the eating disorder, and assumed that I was having issues with stress. That was the last time I ever starved myself, and although I'm at a healthy weight now, my mind is still plagued with the same self destructive thoughts. I'm hoping that I won't give in to my urges anytime soon, but knowing my history, that may be asking for too much.
[Rant/Rave] Happy Anniversary to Me!
/u/AnaTroi [5'9" | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 17:38:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ab83c/happy_anniversary_to_me/
---
It's been one year today since I lapsed back into my old ways of restricting and disordered eating. I'm down 75 pounds and everybody keeps congratulating me. No one has any idea. I restrict like crazy, run at least five miles every day, and have recently added purging to my messed up repertoire. I'm doing this adult thing right, baby!
I feel like I should care about being healthy, but I'm happier when I'm broken. I'm sure it'll catch up to me eventually...
[Rant/Rave] Finally got a Fitbit!!!
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 115 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 17:31:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ab6es/finally_got_a_fitbit/
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I just had to tell someone about my Fitbit I am so excited!! Iāve wanted one for a few years and I never had the guts to buy it, but I had an amazon gift card and here we are!!!
Itās so nice reminding me to move my lazy ass every hour and Iām running errands today so hopefully Iāll get more than 10000 steps in.
[Help] Low cal foods to munch/graze on?
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Sat Aug 25 17:21:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ab42t/low_cal_foods_to_munchgraze_on/
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The only things I can think of is freezies, mints, candies, crackers, cheesestring
But I don't really like anything except freezies, please sos
just got peach, add me if you like?
/u/The_Immortal_Unicorn [167cm | cw: 62kg | gw: 52kg | 17f]
Created: Sat Aug 25 17:19:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ab3jg/just_got_peach_add_me_if_you_like/
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I just downloaded peach and since I feel weird just adding random people I see on the other posts, I decided to make my own :) My username is the same as on here: The_Immortal_Unicorn. Feel free to add me or to drop your own username below :)
hour 50 of my fast
/u/backup4reelz [5'5" F | 124 | 115]
Created: Sat Aug 25 17:16:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ab2sl/hour_50_of_my_fast/
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id like to give a special shoutout to the eggs i ate, the refrigerator i didnt use properly, and the food poisoning i got
This is supposed to be a social commentary of the evil of sugar and childhood obesity, but itās also a commentary on what I think when I look at traditional breakfast cereals.
/u/anniecakes [5'4.5" | 120.5 | F | BED/EDNOS | got kicked out of treatment lol]
Created: Sat Aug 25 17:11:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ab1ko/this_is_supposed_to_be_a_social_commentary_of_the/
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https://imgur.com/a/49fxers
My first time triggered by a person
/u/throwaway-threat
Created: Sat Aug 25 17:04:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ab02h/my_first_time_triggered_by_a_person/
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I don't know if I'd really say i have an eating disorder but i know that things have gotten kind of challenging lately.
Started a healthy diet months ago and hit my initial goal weight. I was happy to just lose an extra ten pounds and but now I don't know. I've been at this school thing all weekend and today I saw one of my classmates in a bikini and my God she's so tiny. Of course I haven't been tracking and just eating so much trash and candy all weekend and when I came into my room and saw how fat and bloated my stomach was was compared to hers I felt like I should just drop my calories way down and lose another 20 pounds at least asap.
I do look at reverse thinspo regularly to keep on track but this is the first time I feel like seeing a really thin person has made me feel bad about my own body :/
Just went to the store, here's what I bought
/u/vulturepants [5'5 | SW: 175 | CW: still too much | GW: 115]
Created: Sat Aug 25 17:02:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aazhf/just_went_to_the_store_heres_what_i_bought/
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Laxatives
Hershey's cookies & creme drop things
Kind bars (basically candy bars)
More laxatives
Why am i like this
[Other] group chat?
/u/patriotsfan4life [5'2 | fluctuates daily | 19? | F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 16:49:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aawa9/group_chat/
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I thought it would be fun to create a small group chat of 5-10 people using the new reddit chat function. we could become friends and chat about random things, not necessarily limited to EDs. if you're interested please comment below.
Moving to uni/college = Pure uninterrupted restriction!?
/u/bangsofsteel2 [5"3/BMI 19ish/ (made a new account)]
Created: Sat Aug 25 16:41:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aauc6/moving_to_unicollege_pure_uninterrupted/
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So I move in to uni halls next month. The sad thing is I'm mainly buzzed to be out of my house full of triggering shit. I very very rarely have bought unsafe binge foods for myself over the past couple of years but I feel like my entire house sabotages me to b/p! Especially with how stressful my household is.
I can honestly see living alone as the thing that allows me to reach my ugw.
What experiences do you all have with living alone and restricting? Did it get easier/harder?
ššš caffeine, nicotine, 500cals a day, and self hate are the real answers tho
/u/MistrrrOrgasmo [5'9" | HW: 191lbs | CW: 168lbs | GW: 135 lbs | BMI: 25 | 22F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 16:20:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aaox8/caffeine_nicotine_500cals_a_day_and_self_hate_are/
---
https://i.redd.it/g2buutf5ebi11.jpg
[Discussion] What is your biggest fear about *losing* weight, if you have one?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Sat Aug 25 16:19:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aaoo8/what_is_your_biggest_fear_about_losing_weight_if/
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[Rant/Rave] I just turned down McDonalds fries
/u/shonamairead [5'6 | CW 140lbs | GW1 - 120 | -20lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 16:12:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aamtt/i_just_turned_down_mcdonalds_fries/
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Iāve been fasting all day and those hot salty sticks of heaven arenāt gonna break me
Betrayed by lettuce
/u/CountingKittyCats
Created: Sat Aug 25 16:01:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aak1c/betrayed_by_lettuce/
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I decided to eat half a head of romaine lettuce after eating a bag of steamed broccoli after waking up from binge drinking last night. Needless to say, my body was not pleased by my nutritional selections for the last 24 hours and is proceeding to liquify and forcibly remove the contents of my digestive system.
Send electrolytes.
[Rant/Rave] Was called the incredible shrinking woman today by my boss.
/u/d_hatesthis
Created: Sat Aug 25 15:56:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aairu/was_called_the_incredible_shrinking_woman_today/
---
Feeling pretty validated right now considering the scale has been jumping around a lot.
[Discussion] family triggers
/u/lemonbasilthyme [5'3" | CW: 94.8 lbs | BMI: 16.8 | 29F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 15:43:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aaf78/family_triggers/
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TL;DR: My already-lean and athletic father is on a ketogenic diet and it's triggering the hell out of me.
When I was eleven, my parents joined a gym and immediately went hard into losing weight and becoming more athletic. My mom made a career change and is now a personal trainer helping elder people stay active, and my dad is a pretty damn good runner. He's off doing an event this weekend and I visited my mom last night, hence this post...
My dad has been quietly doing a keto diet for the past four months, apparently spurred by some health scare involving his cholesterol and triglycerides. He's retired and does most of the food shopping/cooking for the two of them, but didn't tell my mom he was intentionally eliminating carbs until she finally noticed that their meals together were consistently reduced to meat, green vegetables, and cauliflower rice. She's not happy, because she works a physical job on top of half-marathon training and there are practically no carbs in the house at this point.
I had a conversation about this with my dad about two weeks ago, and left feeling really upset. After being diagnosed with an autoimmune illness and going through treatment for anorexia nervosa, I became seriously orthorexic about 18 months ago and started to feel as if literally every food could be harmful to me. Right now, I feel safe sticking to a whole-food, plant-based diet, but it took me a long time to get here, to re-introduce beans and legumes and nightshades, to not fear carbs. And now my dad is implying to me that my healthy diet might be bad, because according to keto propaganda, carbohydrates always lead to insulin resistance, etc...
​
So I visited my mom last night and she seemed so depressed about my dad's new diet obsession. It makes me sad that she feels deprived and possibly judged for missing carbs, when she's not the one who signed up for this nonsense. Then, she told me it's a good thing my dad's cut back on alcohol, but he's totally lost interest in his hobbies (wine- and beer-making with his own vineyard of grapes and hops). I don't think my dad has an eating disorder, but it really alarmed me to hear these things from my mom because it made me think about my own obsession with food and lack of hobbies.
​
The more I think about it, the angrier I feel. My parents are completely blind to my current iteration of ED, because over the years I guess it's become normalized that I'm just weird about food, and my dad is just obsessive about diets, and that's the way things are. Especially now that I've got the excuse of other health issues, I don't even bother concealing any behaviors when I visit and eat with them -- I will get up from the table and pull out the food scale to weigh what's on my plate, I don't eat entire food groups, I will openly walk into their bathroom to use the scale...
​
I don't even know why I'm writing this, but I had to get it out. Should I tell my parents about orthorexia, in hopes that my dad will stop with the keto bullshit? Should I just mind my own business? How do I deal with my anger around my parents' dieting affecting me in my youth and still triggering me to this day?
​
[Discussion] Post your stats!
/u/whereismaimind
Created: Sat Aug 25 15:39:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aae3w/post_your_stats/
---
PSA dont get ankle/wrist weights instead get a weighted vest
/u/Paisleybabe
Created: Sat Aug 25 15:36:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aadds/psa_dont_get_anklewrist_weights_instead_get_a/
---
Yah so I had some ankle weights lying around and I decided to try to wear them the whole day while I did some housework. Well it was super uncomfortable and my left leg is aching in a way I've never felt before. Upon further research the conclusion I have come to is that they're actually more harmful to you in the long run. There's a ton of reasons why and if you google it you can see the list. Weighted vests on the other hand, are actually good for your physical health (not just burning more calories) and they're a lot more versatile.
​
this is the vest I'm currently looking at [https://www.amazon.com/Empower-Weighted-Running-Workout-Crossfit/dp/B00O50TR7S/ref=sr\_1\_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1535232652&sr=8-7&keywords=weighted+vest](https://www.amazon.com/Empower-Weighted-Running-Workout-Crossfit/dp/B00O50TR7S/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1535232652&sr=8-7&keywords=weighted+vest)
Would anyone be interested in making YouTube videos with me?
/u/DiabolicalFruits [5'5 | CW: 152 | GW: 120 | -8 lbs | 18F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 15:36:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aadbs/would_anyone_be_interested_in_making_youtube/
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Something I've wanted to do for awhile and think would be nice to take my mind off of things would be to make a YouTube channel. Not really ED related, but I feel like having something somewhat fun to do would be helpful for me/others. If anyone has any video ideas let me know, but right now I was thinking about making crime videos, comedy skits, music, politics, reviewing things, conspiracy theories, traveling to places to do things, like investigating haunted places and the like, etc. A wide variety of things. If anyone thinks this sounds fun let me know!
[Help] Hot flashes?? and what feels like body aches during a fever
/u/glossboy [5'2 | CW:š· | GW:94 |-29 | š: glossboy]
Created: Sat Aug 25 15:35:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aad2p/hot_flashes_and_what_feels_like_body_aches_during/
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I'm on day 6 of my restriction, and I haven't been able to restrict this low continuously since like last year because I couldn't stop binging.
​
Every time I lay down I get this flush of exhaustion and hot flashes? Like my face, cheeks, and forehead heat up so bad but the rest of my body is shivering and it aches like when you get a fever.
​
Do I need more electrolytes? I drink a bottle of propel a day.
[Other] there is nothing more disappointing than buying a binge food and it not even being that good
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5ā8ā| CW: idk on purpose| BMI: obese |20F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 15:22:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aa9uz/there_is_nothing_more_disappointing_than_buying_a/
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white cheddar cheez itās used to be my favorite thing to eat a whole box of in a day..... THEY ARE NOT GOOD. SALTY CARDBOARD IS WHAT THEY ARE
iām upset that i spent money AND calories on them
R.I.P. my beans
/u/HellAbove [5'6.5"|146.5 lbs|23.3|21F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 15:22:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aa9ri/rip_my_beans/
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I said, whoever took my canned black beans your moms a hoe!!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Seems my new Stretch marks are multiplying daily (freaking out)
/u/milkseedly
Created: Sat Aug 25 15:02:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aa4gg/seems_my_new_stretch_marks_are_multiplying_daily/
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I've never dealt with stretch marks in my life and they showed up on my inner thighs the beginning of this month. I can't take my mind off of them and all this extra weight I'm carrying around.
I've probably gained like 20lbs the past 6 months and its literally all I think about. Ive been binge drinking too. I've never been unable to fit in my 27 jeans and I refuse to buy anything larger. My coping mechanism seems to be "curl up in the fetal position" Idk what to do with myself.
Iām sick of wasting my youth being thicc in a bad way.
/u/Onepunchmysoul
Created: Sat Aug 25 14:51:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9aa1xp/im_sick_of_wasting_my_youth_being_thicc_in_a_bad/
---
Drunk atm. My dad said I should lose a stone (15lbs?) and I feel really fat. Iām not eating tomorrow.
[Rant/Rave] My mind either needs to decide between āhey please validate meā or āhey please never look at meā cause itās confusing
/u/sunnshine67 [5'4 Vampire| GW1: 120 | CW:141 | -24 | ]
Created: Sat Aug 25 14:40:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a9z3x/my_mind_either_needs_to_decide_between_hey_please/
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It honestly leaves my spinning. Earlier this week I caught a guy after my lecture checking out my ass which I felt great about and then I made out with a couple of guys at a club later in the week and I was thriving off the attention. But then at a coffee shop I saw a pretty girl looking at me and I literally wanted to die and then a dude struck up convo with me while I was looking at halo top in the store and I was so panicked that I was being judged. Anyone else have this problem?
[Help] How can I stop hair fall?
/u/Nutellapples
Created: Sat Aug 25 14:31:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a9wi2/how_can_i_stop_hair_fall/
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I take vitamins and make sure even when I'm restricting to eat lots of fruits , vegetables, and proteins. However my hair is falling off and my hairline is really bad but I'm actually starting to bald .. and also my skin gets reaaally oily sometimes even though I have dry skin ?? Is this because of restricting? Anyone actually restricting and has no health issues? Because I don't wanna get sicker.
[Discussion] What are some "ridiculous" things you have logged in your fitness tracker?
/u/BahBah421
Created: Sat Aug 25 14:15:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a9sfb/what_are_some_ridiculous_things_you_have_logged/
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I find myself logging my zero-calorie electrolyte supplement, as well as my multivitamin (which has 3 carbs, which my keto ass is not happy about, but I love gummy vitamins, so oh well). I saw a post somewhere about logging Communion wafers. That one made me giggle.
So let's hear it! I know I log some dumb things sometimes and I can't be alone in that, right? Share yours here!
What are your safe foods?
/u/beeeleave
Created: Sat Aug 25 14:10:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a9qyg/what_are_your_safe_foods/
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[Other] Loss of Control
/u/RJW256
Created: Sat Aug 25 14:08:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a9qg8/loss_of_control/
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Am I the only male here? Haha.
Its annoying the binging I do, it really fucking gets on my nerves. I know that I need to reduce calories to zero, I know if I ever want to be thin I need to go without. But I can't. I keep slipping up. If I have to have an eating disorder, I need it to work for me not against me. Anyone else know this feeling?
[Tip] CLEANING THE HOUSE IS AMAZING
/u/gabebega
Created: Sat Aug 25 14:06:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a9pvm/cleaning_the_house_is_amazing/
---
So these days Iāve been feeling pretty down about the way I look (nothing new here) and I am almost completing 1 month of restricting/eating healthy stuff etc and I feel so anxious because I need to lose a lot of weight...sometimes I feel so anxious I cannot stop thinking about food or concentrate on anything else. So I started cleaning my house, cleaning every corner, cabinet, bathroom while listening to music and OMG I got totally distracted....spend hours not worrying about my weight, the calories and this is huge for me, its such a relief! Just wanted to share with you guys, what else do you do to distract yourself??
Stuck in a binge period, any ways to get out of it?!
/u/xxmishxx
Created: Sat Aug 25 13:41:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a9j3s/stuck_in_a_binge_period_any_ways_to_get_out_of_it/
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I was doing so well for so long with controlled eating and maintaining. These past two weeks have been out of control binging. Stress with work plays a part but I know itās mostly eating disorder related. Any way you guys break out of a binge?!
[Help] Low calorie birthday/party foods?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Sat Aug 25 13:11:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a9aui/low_calorie_birthdayparty_foods/
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My birthday is in 6 weeks and I'm already having a micro panic about what to eat.
I don't drink any alcohol which will already be cutting off half my calories, and everyone else I know drinks so hopefully as the night goes on they wont pay attention to what I eat- or don't eat.
However I will get a lot of weird looks if I don't eat any "birthday food" and was wondering what I could sub for cake etc.
I already plan on having cupcakes instead of a whole cake, and I live alone so I can avoid breakfast and dinner without suspicion.
Are there any "fun" foods that wont raise eyebrows or my weight? My family are aware of my eating disordered history so I can't specificly ask for any diet or low cal foods such as halo top.
[Rant/Rave] My mom is more triggering than anything else in my life ā feel free to ignore
/u/sweet_tea_3 [5'7" | CW 118.6 | GW 110| 20F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 13:10:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a9akq/my_mom_is_more_triggering_than_anything_else_in/
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So to start with I had to move back home for ~~a period of personal growth~~ and then as soon as I came home she saw how much weight I had lost and went āWOW! You are sooo healthy now! Iām going vegetarian too and gonna lose weight with you!ā Now like ever day she tells me how much weight she has lost since the day before and āhow little she eats during the day nowā
I LITERALLY CANNOT DO THIS
Today we did a 4mile hike so I plan to eat ice cream (in my calorie amount) after and right after I scoop out my planned amount she pulls out a bag of carrot sticks. So obvi Iām not eating my ice cream
Iām sorry but I currently have a huge amount of anger directed towards her and I donāt know what to do except keep on restricting more and more!
Brb Iām just gonna kill myself šµ
Starv and "binge" cycles
/u/throwmeawayboisx
Created: Sat Aug 25 12:59:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a9781/starv_and_binge_cycles/
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I starved for like 3 days and I was happy but then i went to see my grandmother -who always has snacks - and I binge ate and now I can't stop eating. I can't lower my weight either... I don't eat more than 3000 calories in any binge and I hate purging. How do I stop eating so much?????
I need private snapchat buddies/ buddy
/u/dragonbait13
Created: Sat Aug 25 12:08:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a8t3l/i_need_private_snapchat_buddies_buddy/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proanaweightloss/comments/9a8pr2/i_need_a_private_snapchat_buddy/
What are you doing peach?
/u/unpollutedfantasy [šcucumberr]
Created: Sat Aug 25 12:05:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a8s6u/what_are_you_doing_peach/
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I do like r/proed
But peach just makes it easier to be friends with people who can relate to me in this way
It makes having an ED less lonely and isolating
Like what if one day peach is down for good.
Iāll have nobody
[Help] Question about b/p after a fast
/u/bingeyboa
Created: Sat Aug 25 11:37:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a8jzd/question_about_bp_after_a_fast/
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Okay, so, uh, I'mĀ dumb. I have zero self control and I totally hate myself. I fasted for 84 hours then impulse broke it b/p-ing. This is DEFINITELY not the first time this has happened of course. Like I said, I'm dumb and my issues seem to be just refusing to eat for long periods of time then realizing I'm stupid and deciding to eat something (usually start with grapes and no salt trail mix with pedialyte). It always starts out with good intentions then it turns into eat everything and before I know it I've eaten 800 calories of whatever random shit I can find,Ā the guilt sets in, and I flip out and purge.Ā
So given that this is a destructive, repeated habit and awful and stupid, I know the immediate results. **TMI** liquid farts, a bit of bloating, water weight going up (then down after the inevitable panic purge, then of *course* back up bc dehydration).Ā
I know the immediate risk factors. But what would you guys say are the long term risk factors? Bloat shouldn't be a huge huge issue because of the (very thorough) purge. How much extra weight would I gain back? Everyone is saying that you'll undo all the loss of fasting if you don't follow the break your fast schedule, but given cico and the basic laws of thermodynamics (5200 cals deficit over the fasting days), eating 800 then purging it technically shouldn't negate the fat loss, right? I wish I knew the real science behind it, but frankly dieting and nutrition research is impossible for me to trust because... well, duh, I'm irrational and trust no one except our beautiful Dr. Christian. So I figured I'd ask the guys who are _true_ experts. Even if we're all mentally a little bit fucked, at least we've all been there.
Anyway, TIA for any advice...
(Side note, 100% also posted this on MPA2 and EDC, but basically no one goes to the fasting forum...)
Tldr: uh, broke a fast with a b/p bc I'm dumb as a rock... advice?
[Rant/Rave] successfully avoided a binge yesterday!!!
/u/lightningmcqueef69 [5'5" | CW 126.0 | GW 95 | NB | 18 | š: lightningmcqueef69]
Created: Sat Aug 25 11:23:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a8g9a/successfully_avoided_a_binge_yesterday/
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I've mentioned in other posts that I've been doing IF/OMAD, and it's been good so far but I got my period yesterday and had major cravings. I had already met my calorie limit for the day but you know when you're hormonal and just... NEED something right then?
Well instead of punishing myself and crying over not eating PB2, I made one of my comfort foods- a fried egg in ramen- and managed to stay at a deficit!!! It was still higher than I normally aim for but I'm proud of myself for making that compromise, and satisfying my cravings without panicking.
What the heck BDD
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [š5'5|110|GW:105š]
Created: Sat Aug 25 10:38:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a83qz/what_the_heck_bdd/
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DAE walk into a room and immediately determine how small you are compared to everyone else? It was the first week of classes and I have done that in every single lecture. Iāve been feeling really down lately because I donāt have a scale at my apartment and my self worth comes from how close a three digit number is to 100. Itās so pathetic. Iāve been looking in the mirror all week stressing about my acne and how fat my upper thighs are.
Anyway my university requires all students to pass a swim test before graduation so I was in the locker room yesterday putting on my bikini for the test gettin a few sideways glances here and there when I look into the gym mirror and think wow since when has my stomach looked that flat? And I turned around and a bit and didnāt mind how I looked at all. Fast forward to today and my torso is back to being short and wide and I hate myself. Those fucking mirrors lie.
Laxatives?
/u/notmylowkeyaccount
Created: Sat Aug 25 10:38:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a83o7/laxatives/
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I've never tried them and don't know really how to use them for weight-loss. Any suggestions?
[Rant/Rave] When your bf calls right after you purge
/u/AllyAllien
Created: Sat Aug 25 10:27:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a80va/when_your_bf_calls_right_after_you_purge/
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And you answer the phone like nothing happened and worse it's a video chat and you look drunk with a runny nose so you pretend you caught a cold in the last 4.5 hours since you saw each other
[Rant/Rave] On a high from my dads comment, I am sick in the head
/u/crankyhedgiebutt
Created: Sat Aug 25 10:04:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a7uiz/on_a_high_from_my_dads_comment_i_am_sick_in_the/
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My dad said I look anorexic and that made my day! I donāt think I do to be fair and no one else says that either. But it made me feel really good since my weight hasnāt budged. He said I look smaller too. Yay!!
I might talk to him though about my issues with restriction/purging and my digestive problems from it. I hope it goes well. I just think I need help from a nutritionist since I have these issues. Idk if I should talk to him though, I donāt know if he will even have anything to say. My dads not easy to talk to :/
Does anyone here vape?
/u/chloelouiise [5'6 | 136 | 21.95 | -86 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 10:00:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a7taz/does_anyone_here_vape/
---
I just bought my first vape and I got a load of sweet flavours to hopefully help my craving of sweet foods!
What are your experiences with vaping and has it helped you at all with food?
[Discussion] Anyone else waiting until September 1st to weigh in?
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 175 lbs | 30.63 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 09:57:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a7sk1/anyone_else_waiting_until_september_1st_to_weigh/
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We are almost there!!!! One more week and I get to see if I've made any progress.
This has been SUPER motivating so far and I've been able to eat way less than I usually do when I have these rare restricting periods. I'm hoping and praying I've hit at least 168 (hi I am enormously huge) by next week.
Aaaahhhhhhh
[Tip] Vegan Ice Cream Recommendation
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8" | CW: 128.2 & BMI: 19.5 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 09:55:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a7s4w/vegan_ice_cream_recommendation/
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For people like me who think halo top is flavorless trash but find Ben & Jerryās to have way too many fucking calories and a crappy vegan like all together I want to recommend NadaMoo dairy free ice cream. I just discovered this brand literally yesterday and it is amazing. It has a nice range of interesting flavors like Ben and Jerryās but with half the calories ranging from 540-600 calories per pint. I tried their birthday cake flavor and it was amazing with pieces of actual VEGAN cake in it. Itās a very light creamy ice cream so it also doesnāt leave you feeling too stuffed but itās also not supper whipped like halo top. 10/10 do recommend.
[Rant/Rave] Im embarrassed im hungry like any normal person would be
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Sat Aug 25 09:31:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a7ljg/im_embarrassed_im_hungry_like_any_normal_person/
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Im actually extremely embarrassed.
My boyfriend is sleeping and im always hungry when hes sleeping. I didnt bring clothes with me to his place so i couldn't even go out if i really wanted.
​
Im just so ashamed. And i know im ashamed of something completely normal which makes me even more ashamed
I wooshed!
/u/dashtigerfang
Created: Sat Aug 25 09:19:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a7ik9/i_wooshed/
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My doctor just increased my adderall dose and so Iāve had no appetite for the past few days (thank god since Iāve been restricting anyway) but yesterday when I weighed myself I had gained a pound despite barely eating anything. Today I got on the scale and it said I lost 7 pounds!
The woosh is real.
[Help] UK/EU ephedrine?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Sat Aug 25 08:52:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a7bq0/ukeu_ephedrine/
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I've found a few sites that sell ephedrine (for ec stacks) that will ship to the UK but I've heard there are some fakes.
Can anyone share the site they used/know is real?
A pmsy rant
/u/NerdCrush
Created: Sat Aug 25 08:46:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a7a51/a_pmsy_rant/
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My spanx legs are longer than my shorts.
My options are burn to death in the Texas heat wearing pants or wear a dress and look like Iām pushing my 2nd trimester.
Iām fat, and bleeding and hate everything today.
And my boyfriend wants to go to donuts for breakfast and a Chinese buffet for lunch. Both. In one day. Like back to back.
I just canāt even today. Can I just stay in bed and cry instead?
My stomach's rumbling a lot and it's so loud it's embarrassing. I don't know how to stop it :(
/u/wispblue
Created: Sat Aug 25 08:06:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a70ay/my_stomachs_rumbling_a_lot_and_its_so_loud_its/
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[Photo] I've created another webcomic about what I've learned in therapy.
/u/tinyr3x
Created: Sat Aug 25 08:03:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a6zmf/photo_ive_created_another_webcomic_about_what_ive/
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http://imgur.com/gallery/gtyHwhD
http://imgur.com/gallery/gtyHwhD
/u/tinyr3x
Created: Sat Aug 25 08:02:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a6zcx/httpimgurcomgallerygtyhwhd/
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http://[photo] I've created a second comic featuring what I've learned in therapy.
I binged so hard last night, and I don't even know why
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Sat Aug 25 07:54:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a6xg5/i_binged_so_hard_last_night_and_i_dont_even_know/
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Seems like several of us had binges last night/yesterday. But yeah, I had one of those nights where I ate, and ate until I felt physically sick then I kept going. Udon stir fry is tasty though hahah. I'm not sure why, I wasn't extremely hungry like 90% of the reason I end up binging while restricting, I wasn't feeling emotional or any real reason for it. I just snapped it seemed like because I overate I a bit before the binge and it was kind of the "all or nothing" attitude. If I have already ate 100cals over what's another 2,000 you know?
​
Ugh it's such bullshit though, I'm still extremely full today and feel like I completely failed.
[Help] Anybody make their own kombucha?
/u/BlondeActually [Height 5ā4 | CW 94| BMI 16.1| HW 120| LW 89| GW 88 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 07:29:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a6rxx/anybody_make_their_own_kombucha/
---
My stepmom got me a Scoby and Iām super excited to start making my own. I know the basic recipe but Iām wondering if anyone has any tips on making it as yummy as possible?
[Discussion] How much do you spend on food a month?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Sat Aug 25 06:45:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a6iru/how_much_do_you_spend_on_food_a_month/
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I'm going over my bills&outgoings for this month and, including drinks (coffee and tea) I've spent under Ā£20 on food.
[Rant/Rave] happy day for me
/u/ghostlythin [61.25ā | CW 98.4 | BMI 18.4]
Created: Sat Aug 25 06:32:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a6g7w/happy_day_for_me/
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1. Iām going on a short āvacationā today and tomorrow with my family
2. I have been able to not eat over maintenance, but mostly eat at a good deficit, for 10 days in a row now (I usually binge a lot).
3. I HIT JUST UNDER MY SECOND GOAL WEIGHT TODAY AHHH (GW WAS 98.5).
I had to rant about this somewhere, I definitely canāt talk about it to my family but I feel so happy today XD
[Rant/Rave] Why canāt I stay in control :(
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Sat Aug 25 06:28:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a6fjb/why_cant_i_stay_in_control/
---
I was doing so well all week....after getting down to 91lbs for the first time ever a couple weeks ago, I gained back up to like 98 and have been feeling horrible. I started going to the gym every day this week and restricting again (high but still burning a lot more too) and was back down to 94 as of Thursday.....
Then yesterday was my last day at my job and it was so hard, and I went out for drinks with the guy I broke up with a couple weeks ago and just wanted to make him think Iām normal and ok so I had like 6 beers (I HATE drinking beer) and a chicken souvlaki wrap for dinner....thinking it would be ok after not eating all day. But of course that opens the flood gates. He falls asleep and I stop at pizza pizza on the way home and crush a slice (how do you track that??? One slice calories on the website is based off of a slice of a pizza isnāt it? The individual slices they give you are way bigger!) then I got home and had a yogurt....and a bag of smart pop...and an apple the size of my face. No idea how many calories I ate but definitely way over. Now Iām bloated and up to 100 lbs and want to crawl into a hole and die. I also have a first date later and Iām going to want to eat normally and have a couple drinks and now I feel like I have to cancel that too
[Help] Iām going to go have multiple photos taken of my body in a few hours....
/u/runner_618 [5'5 | 116.8 lbs | HW 126.6 lbs | GW1 115 | GW2 108 lbs | UGW104 ]
Created: Sat Aug 25 06:28:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a6fgf/im_going_to_go_have_multiple_photos_taken_of_my/
---
And I actually signed up for this shit. Iām about to go to a āboudoirā photo shoot as a gift to my husband on our wedding day (we got legally married secretly but the actual ceremony and party is in October). Itās a surprise so I canāt tell him all this but Iām terrified of putting on skimpy clothes and having to look at myself and my body and then choosing actual photos for the photo book. My friend is coming along for moral support but she just says stuff like āoh stop it youāre so smallā when I express any ED related thoughts or feelings. She does know I have an ED, Iāve purged when out binge drinking and eating with her, I truly think she just doesnāt know what to say.
I had an original goal of 117 (where my weight hovered when I was in high school, pre ED) when I started to restrict heavily again, and I hit 116.8 last night. But itās not enough and, of course, now I have a lower goal weight. I just feel disgusting and disgusted with myself. Thanks for listening.
New Mods & Updated Rules
/u/woollyshirt [non binary wizard]
Created: Sat Aug 25 06:21:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a6e24/new_mods_updated_rules/
---
Hello lovely people!
Following up from last month, we have four new subreddit mods:
u/mu514, u/deconcerte, u/kpatable, and u/smallmadscientist! We had a lot of submissions to pick through and a couple of difficult decisions to make and conversations to have, but we now have a great revived mod team, and some people to hold in mind in future if/when it's time to add more people. Welcome to the newbies and thanks for giving your time to keep this place safe! :)
Additionally, I'm going to use this post to point out our refreshed rule 5 -
formerly
> 5. **No linking to posts on other subreddits.** Don't link posts from other subreddits here (or link this subreddit elsewhere.)
and now
> 5. **No content from other subreddits.** Do not link posts from other subreddits here. Do not post screenshots from other subreddits here. Do not talk about other subreddits (particularly in a negative light) here.
This has been updated in response to the large amount of posts about other subreddits, often criticising users of those subreddits for showing disordered behaviour and potentially being in denial of it. Calling out and making assumptions about individual reddit users based on their posts is not OK!! Brigading other subreddits or targeting users like this is the kind of content that can get this subreddit banned, and it's not supportive or inviting, or something we want here. Being fustrated at how ordinary weight loss advice is disordered is one thing, but targeting communities or individuals on this site is something else that we can't allow.
Thanks to everyone for being understanding on this (because we know you're fustrated) and I hope this all makes sense. As always, please ask if you have any questions! <3
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! August 25, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 25 06:11:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a6c8t/stupid_questions_saturday_august_25_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for August 25, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 25, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 25 06:10:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a6c1f/daily_food_diary_august_25_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 25, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Can you help me ?
/u/Varthaxx
Created: Sat Aug 25 04:35:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a5vyp/can_you_help_me/
---
Ok, so after 3 month of restricting + sports I thought I would lost around 15kg as I had a 42 jeans for my 77kg body and now I can nearly fit a 36 trousers
But I tried to weight myself this morning with a weighter that was dead before, and it shows 69kg
160cm for 69kg and I can fit Ć 36, is it possible or is my weighter dead ?
This is triggering me, so if I could calm down a minute I would really apreciate your help
​
**for help (I tried):** 36=26/27(US) 42=32(US) 77kg=169lbs 160cm=5'3"
I am so overwhelmed and angry rn
/u/nicolajr21
Created: Sat Aug 25 04:13:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a5sdv/i_am_so_overwhelmed_and_angry_rn/
---
So basically I go to uni and have a group assignment due tomorrow night and one of the people messaged me a couple of hours ago saying she was too sick to do the work???? Now I am sitting here and a wall of stress has washed over me and I just ate Thai takeout because I was so angry. So I just ate a roti and 2 chicken satay sticks and some a curry puff and am sitting here full and still stressed š I fucking hate having to rely on people
Fade Away
/u/ladeda1312
Created: Sat Aug 25 03:38:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a5n31/fade_away/
---
I find it a little darkly humorous how I can convince myself that I don't have the issues that I have and that I'm completely fine. That is until a day like today happens. Or more accurately, a week like this past week occurs. Actually, let's make it a month. On those rare days that I wake up and feel "fine," I really am convinced that the ED, the anxiety, the depression, and the ADHD were just things in some fucked up nightmare I had. But then when shit hits the fan, it really hits the fan. And all of it gets everywhere and it just invades your entire being.
Tonight I let another person touch me. Be with me. I let myself be completely exposed to him. And during those moments, I was convinced I was ok. But then after he left, every fucking thing I try to keep down decided to rear its ugly head and torment me. Thinking about him touching me and feeling my body makes me want to tear the flesh, fat, muscles off my bones. Not because there is anything wrong with him. He's beautiful. It's because all I can see, feel, think about is everything that is wrong with me. He touched my sides and in those moments I had to fight back the urge to run away.
When I got home, all I could think about is how to make my body disappear. I thought about why I was so naive to think that I could just pretend like I'm fine for a little while and not think about the consequences. I thought I could forget about all the things that have been a plague in my life. It's moments like this that make me not want to have a body. I want to be a genderless being floating and existing without a defined form. To not feel so confined to a shell I can barely control. To not even feel like I have to have a sense of control because everything feels like chaos and the only thing I can try to tame and punish is my body. To not have to try and strive to be beautiful and tear myself apart when I see all my imperfections. To not compare to others and immediately deem myself worthless and less than.
So each day a pound is lost it's me believing I'm getting closer to becoming nothing. I know my mind is sick, but all I want is to fade away.
​
​
Apparently I can only go a week without bingeing
/u/heartemoji
Created: Sat Aug 25 03:22:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a5kpu/apparently_i_can_only_go_a_week_without_bingeing/
---
Lol kill me now
[Other] ED Freudian slip
/u/audreyhepburnwho [25F | 5'8 | cw 159 | hw 196 | sw 172 | lw 150 | ugw 145]
Created: Sat Aug 25 02:52:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a5g5v/ed_freudian_slip/
---
I WAS TALKING TO THE GUY I'M SEEING
I WAS TALKING ABOUT WHY I LIKE NETFLIX
I WAS GONNA SAY I REALLY LIKE BINGE WATCHING TV SHOWS
I ACTUALLY SAID I REALLY LIKE BINGE EATING
LOL
[Help] Most amount of weight you have lost?
/u/softdyke
Created: Sat Aug 25 02:08:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a59lx/most_amount_of_weight_you_have_lost/
---
Whatās the most amount of weight you have lost in a specific time frame? I am going mad seeing people say that you can only lose a pound a week
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] "Wow, she/he's gained a lot of weight!"
/u/LateAsparagus [24F | BMI 21.2? (scale broke) | lax connoisseur]
Created: Sat Aug 25 02:04:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a58zp/rantrave_wow_shehes_gained_a_lot_of_weight/
---
Those are my mum's first words every single time she sees a new picture of some relative. Her cousin's kid sent her a family portrait and her first words seeing her 13-year old kid were "she's only 13 and already so fat!" (God, I get war flashbacks to my own puberty: I gained a fuckload of weight when I was 13-14 but never had the growth spurt to even it out, instead I kept growing an inch till I was 19 and it all eventually evened out but man, my teens were rough and my mum certainly didn't help my body image issues)
She also got the wedding picture of some family friend's kid and naturally she had to tell me how "fucking massive" he was even though he was only 28. Whenever I point out that she's not exactly waifish herself, she just says "yeah, but I was thin when I was their age! I only gained after I had you!" I swear my mum is nice most of the time but her constantly commenting other people's weights triggers me so bad and makes me terrified of aging and gaining weight because I can already hear her voice saying "you used to be fit, see how the years catch up on you and your metabolism?" Honestly, my ultimate revenge fantasy is having my mother live up to 100 and see me be a skinny 60 year old. Anyway, thanks for tuning in for today's episode of mommy issues.
[Discussion] DAE LOVE eating videos?!
/u/ohdarlingyourefucked
Created: Sat Aug 25 01:55:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a57fw/dae_love_eating_videos/
---
Seriously, I could go on YouTube and watch them for hours. Especially the ASMR ones.
[Rant/Rave] So Iām sitting there, BBQ sauce on my titties...
/u/landfill7707
Created: Sat Aug 25 01:16:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a51l5/so_im_sitting_there_bbq_sauce_on_my_titties/
---
EDs are such bullshit. What started out as āI overate and Iāll feel better after I throw up just this onceā has turned into purging at least half of each meal. Yāall let me tell you I just about had a coronary in the bathroom of a restaurant today because I thought I heard someone flush the toilet after I purged my entire lunch bc I thought the bathroom was empty. It was honestly comical ā camera cuts to me, panicked, hunched over a toilet with vomit running down my hand, my eyes tearing up, looking like a complete maniac. Wow. This is who I am now.
[Discussion] weird thoughts because of disordered eating?
/u/planetskinny
Created: Sat Aug 25 01:10:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a50gl/weird_thoughts_because_of_disordered_eating/
---
hi! first time poster, few days lurker. i finally got the courage (and idea) to post something because i was afraid yāall were going to kick me out for some reason. i donāt know why, i have anxiety lmfao. ANYWAY!
does anyone else have the weirdest thoughts that didnāt start up until they had disordered eating habits?
for example:
i was driving home with my mom and i had yet another weird thought. since we left at around 11:40pm from the movies (it was a long movie tbh), i thought we were going to get home before midnight since it was only a 15 minute drive or smth. well, my disordered ass goes, āif you get home before midnight you canāt eat tomorrow.ā
funnily enough, i got home at exactly midnight. but thatās besides the point.
for the tldr; does anyone have weird thoughts because of their disordered eating habits? i also told a story related to the question.
"I don't know if this is totally the worst thing I could say to you, but..."
/u/ichbindertod
Created: Sat Aug 25 01:09:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a50fn/i_dont_know_if_this_is_totally_the_worst_thing_i/
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"you look smaller, you don't look well. Everything - your shoulders, your face, your hands. I don't know if I should say this but you look ill, you don't look as healthy as usually do, I've noticed it."
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My boyfriend said this to me last night!! Omg I'm still so excited but conflicted. I admitted that I had been restricting more than usual for the past month or so, but that I don't look thinner to myself (in fact I look bigger, ugh). He pointed out that he only gets to see me a few times a week, and he's noticed. I did see that the skirt I wore yesterday was kind of hanging off me at the waist, but my dysmorphia was so bad I just discounted it; how could my clothes be looser if I'm totally obese, right? My mind couldn't be possibly be lying to me lol.
Agh, so now I'm really conflicted. My ED LOVED hearing him say I looked ill, and that makes me want to restrict more, but he makes me want to give a shit about myself and we did agree I'd try to go back up to 800cal a day.
Side-note but a big problem with being long distance and having an ED is that I get super paranoid I will have gained next time I see him in person. Consequently, I restrict like mad after we've been together, and I have fantasies of losing all my muscle mass and being skeletal next time he holds me. Which would suck because I love my muscles and he inspired me to get them, and it's great to have something to love about my body. But imagine the rush.
TL:DR, boyfriend fulfilled my fucked up need to have someone say I look ill and I've lost too much weight. My ED is elated but I'm not sure how the rest of me feels about it. (Honestly though, girl, YAY)
TMI POST I have crazy bad diarrhoea
/u/ChasingHouse
Created: Fri Aug 24 23:40:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a4l39/tmi_post_i_have_crazy_bad_diarrhoea/
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Maybe itās my period, maybe itās the new medication, maybe itās the ridiculous amount of sugar free gum Iāve been chewing.
Usually I would be so damn happy to have a bm every day but goddamn šµ
The compliments outweigh the hunger
/u/hamiifan
Created: Fri Aug 24 23:16:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a4gm2/the_compliments_outweigh_the_hunger/
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Hey I just found this sub recently and wanted to share. I've been restricting a lot recently because i knew I was going to see my ex for the first time in months. When he saw me, he couldn't stop telling me how good I looked. That moment makes all the hunger and belly aches so worth it in my opinion. He says I shouldn't starve myself but he loves the way i look when I do (he doesn't know I haven't been eating). And I love the confidence boost. I love it more than I hate feeling hungry.
[Help] can you survive off only sugar-free gum?
/u/saeran-choi
Created: Fri Aug 24 23:09:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a4fb1/can_you_survive_off_only_sugarfree_gum/
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hi everyone!
first time posting but I'm pretty overweight and I'm way too lazy to exercise.
I live with my mom who is prepared to buy me what i need as long as I loose some fucking weight lol
The brand I've mostly been using is called 'Extra'
Any comments help! I'm totally new to this and I have no idea where to go.
I am probably gonna do it anyway, just want to know if I'm not TOTALLY fucking up my life?
[Rant/Rave] āheās rude to you because youāre not idealā
/u/MeowMixIsSatan
Created: Fri Aug 24 23:05:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a4efh/hes_rude_to_you_because_youre_not_ideal/
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iāve been having issues with my new boss lately and was ranting to a lady that works with me about it. and she said that itās because iām not a perfect skinny girl and itās not ideal for him so heās different with you. she said the almost three weeks ago and thatās all i can think about. any time i see my boss i want to hide. her words are fucking burned into my brain. i feel so disgusting.
Remember when you could trust a burp or fart?
/u/BEDBulimic [153cm | CW: 56.4 | GW1: 55 | -6.6 | 20F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 22:47:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a4asx/remember_when_you_could_trust_a_burp_or_fart/
---
Me neither same
[Rant/Rave] My ed just ruined any chance of me getting into a great relationship
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Fri Aug 24 22:39:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a49d0/my_ed_just_ruined_any_chance_of_me_getting_into_a/
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I met this amazing guy on OkCupid a while ago. Heās cute, tall, funny, educated, responsible. Heās everything I could possibly ever want out of a man. He even accepts me for being transgender (which sadly isnāt common on dating apps). What could possibly get in the way of us possibly being together...
Well hereās when my ed fucks up my life yet again.
He gave me his number just now and out of nowhere my ed voice began to overwhelm my mind. How could he possibly find me attractive? Iām fat. Iām lazy. Iām unworthy of his attention. He doesnāt deserve to have such a pathetic and awful excuse for a girlfriend like me. He shouldnāt be put through that. Iām not worthy of his affection or any other guyās affection at that.
I just deleted my account out of sheer panic. I canāt bare to put myself in a relationship. My ed will not let me. I want one so badly, but how in the fuck could I manage one with my shit self esteem and constant cycle of restriction and over eating. Iām a tainted person and I do not deserve to be loved.
Now if youāll excuse me, Iāll just spend the rest of tonight stuffing my face and throwing it all up along with all the other shit emotions I feel as of now. I want to get better and be normal. But how can I when I donāt care about myself...I just donāt...
[Discussion] Does anyone else have a favorite/goal thinspo picture? This is mine, it's my phone lock screen.
/u/DootDeeDootDeeDoo [5'0|BMI:46.6|SW:285|CW:237|GW:75|FtM]
Created: Fri Aug 24 22:32:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a47y7/does_anyone_else_have_a_favoritegoal_thinspo/
---
https://i.imgur.com/V5JGjyh.png
[Rant/Rave] I binged because of worrying about eating too much wtf
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Fri Aug 24 22:28:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a471k/i_binged_because_of_worrying_about_eating_too/
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Don't you just hate the all or nothing attitude? I overate by like....100 calories but I could not stop thinking about it all freaking day. Tonight I finally said fuck it and just inhaled food so I'd actaully have a legitimate binge day and not just a "snack" day.
Ugh tomorrow is a new day, Gotta get back on track and be more reasonable with myself
[Rant/Rave] I work with food and I walk past this about a million times a day. Trail mix is my favorite binge food on earth. Fml
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 130.2lbs | 20M]
Created: Fri Aug 24 22:16:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a44j3/i_work_with_food_and_i_walk_past_this_about_a/
---
https://i.redd.it/lrewilgr06i11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Parents forcing me into recovery
/u/lxelan4862
Created: Fri Aug 24 21:09:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a3q09/parents_forcing_me_into_recovery/
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Before ranting I just want to say that I'm still a teen who lives with parents, who have been aware of the ups and downs (ups are nonexistent actually but they dont know tbh) I've been dealing with in terms of my ed.
So a couple of days ago they found the remnants of my thrown-out, untouched breakfast that I was supposed to eat before going to volunteer at a pediatric clinic, and from there they realised I've been lying to them about recovering and how I ate "normally" (fun fact: those days were the most 'fun' - I was able to restrict to about 100 kcal without anyone knowing, it was --heaven-- hell)
Flash forward to these past three days where my mother has cried 46392737395463 times and I broke down twice as much at the sight of her cooking my food with literally half a bottle of oil and force feeding me it because declining is clearly not an option at this point. In the span of three days she has made an appointment with an eating disorder therapist, a psychotherapist whom I used to go to before, and a registration to an eating disorder research program at mount sinai hospital. Jesus.
While I understand her feelings and love, I feel extremely overwhelmed. I was forced to uninstall myfitnesspal in an attempt to stop counting calories but I still estimate it in my head. Every day I wake up to the fear that I will be forced to eat something greasy or full of calories. I dont want to recover! Hell, even my psychologist told me I look 'healthy' --so that clearly means I look fat and have to restrict even more to achieve the 'look'--
Tl;dr: my feelings about forced recovery summed up into a few words include but are not limited to: angry, frustrated, depressed, shitty, terrified
Just accepted the fact that I have an eating disorder...
/u/kainadian
Created: Fri Aug 24 21:04:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a3orv/just_accepted_the_fact_that_i_have_an_eating/
---
I keep rationalizing that I am intermittent fasting by doing OMAD 1200 a day...but my binging is becoming more frequent and I am becoming more obsessed with the way my body looks. I used to be a runner and athletic and now I started my new job I have no time any more. Then I started recently doing OMAD to help my eating but it's so fcking hard guys.
I ate semi-normally today until I came home and binged on chips, popcorn, and ice cream. I'm so ashamed of myself that I let myself get to this point, I keep grabbing my fat when I can feel it and it just.... uhg.
This sucks, I hate food.
[Rant/Rave] Hit a low point [rant]
/u/Thtcrazygiraffe
Created: Fri Aug 24 20:56:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a3n53/hit_a_low_point_rant/
---
Sorry Iām a loser and keep spamming this sub, I appreciate all of you!
So failed on my third day of fasting and got some avocado sushi at whole foods. Freaked out and decided to go on a long walk instead of going home. WELL since my body is used to purging it just all came up on its own accord while I walked and then dropped my phone in my own puke and now nose burns and I still feel full. Ugh so glamorous :/
[Intro] Intro/Rant I guess
/u/throwawaymyfeelingsk [6'1|M|CW:240ish|Lost:140]
Created: Fri Aug 24 20:54:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a3moo/introrant_i_guess/
---
I've been lurking for a few months without an account, but decided it was finally time to make one and start posting I guess. I'm pretty sure I was technically diagnosed with an unspecified ED about 4 years ago, but after I got on some medications for depression n things it switched more towards binge eating which is pretty much the norm in my family, so I never got treatment for it or even had it brought up really. This year I've been more on my own, so I got back into restricting pretty hard and am making fair headway into the obscene amount of weight I put on.
​
For the past several months, my eating habits have been pretty much water fasting 4-10 days at a time then having 1 day where I get food (usually under 3000cal). rn I'm finally starting to see more of the negative effects and the strength of my ED is certainly growing. Almost passing out on a daily basis, noticeable hair loss, heart palpitations and such, but I mean I'm still obese so I like to think it isn't that bad.
​
Anyway, the what finally made me decide to make an account to post with was me buying food today. Was picking up one of my staple fast breaking binge combos, but I was having trouble finding one of the items, and after searching for a bit I felt like I was about to have a breakdown in the middle of the store and I almost started crying which just makes me feel terrible, but idk it's whatevs now. Ended up finding it in some weird section and managed to get through checkout without falling apart (yay me). Got my food and ate the 1725 calories in 10 minutes like the slob I am, so yeah that's me
​
Been paranoid about posting for a while now cause I worry that someone I know will find this kind of thing and recognize me, but i just dgaf anymore. idk how long i'll be hanging around here, but odds are imma just keep lurking. Hope everyone is having an alright day.
[Help] Trying so hard not to purge (please help)
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 115 | 17.95 | 14.2 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 20:32:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a3hir/trying_so_hard_not_to_purge_please_help/
---
If you guys have seen my posts you know Iāve been doing pretty heavy restriction for a long time. 10 minutes ago I just snapped and ate 6 bowls of cereal and almond milk. Iām so nauseous and in pain and I know Iāll hate myself SO much tomorrow, and Iām sorry but I need someone to tell me to not purge because it seems like a really fucking great idea right now.
[Help] ate too much spaghetti
/u/summerservice [5'2 | 180 | -20 | 19F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 20:17:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a3e5v/ate_too_much_spaghetti/
---
I rly want to exercise but I have horrible stomach cramps from excess spaghetti.
laying down and crying a little instead
[Rant/Rave] An update about Cheesecake Factory
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 116 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Fri Aug 24 20:04:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a3b6s/an_update_about_cheesecake_factory/
---
So I ordered the chicken samosaās off the skinnylicious menu and had a few piece of bread and s lot of water. Pretty good right?
Well me and my friends are on the way back and they all got some attention from men except me. I am the only one with a bf, but still. That hurt. Iām the ugly friend.
Holy SHIT I have something to work for now
/u/aworkinprogress_ [5'6 | 116.4 lbs | BMI 18.8 | UGW 102]
Created: Fri Aug 24 19:45:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a36xi/holy_shit_i_have_something_to_work_for_now/
---
So I just found out my school has a benefit fashion show... model auditions are in October. Of course they canāt state a weight requirement, but I looked at last yearās pics and all the girls are skinny and gorgeous. I canāt be gorgeous but at least I can be skinny. And that means reaching my GW by October 15. Maybe even overshooting it by a few lbs.
[Rant/Rave] A chew and spitters paradise
/u/CrushedOats
Created: Fri Aug 24 19:44:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a36m6/a_chew_and_spitters_paradise/
---
My dad came home with a bunch of snacks āfor the school year!ā
They are
-12 100 cal oatmeal cookies
-6 230 cal donuts
-12 100 cal raspberry oatmeal cookies
-300 cal chips
And
-a single 410 cal jimmy johns cookie.
Iām the only other person in this house aside from him & ive gotten all our food to a point where there is absolutely 0 binge foods I can slip up on. I really appreciate the gesture but,, at the same time this is horrible because now I feel bad.
Anyway now Iāll just c/s all of these when heās not looking so it looks like I ate them šš
one more on Birthday Bullshit...
/u/Piggroin
Created: Fri Aug 24 19:22:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a31is/one_more_on_birthday_bullshit/
---
Howdy, I've got my plan set, all accept the dessert. Do you guys have any desserts that just tend to be a little lower in calories than cake or pie? I have no other ideas beside ice cream, cake, and pie and those are all shit blasted with calories... so, uh, if you got any ideas at all, I'd appreciate it.... thanks. :- )
My ED makes me want to start smoking
/u/tone_v2 [6'|CW:140|GW: 135?|BMI:18.25|20M]
Created: Fri Aug 24 19:14:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a2zqo/my_ed_makes_me_want_to_start_smoking/
---
Idk if it's just me, but I find something really attractive about tall thin guys smoking cigarettes. What's crazy is that I have always been a huge opponent of cigarette smoking, swore to myself that I'd never take it on, but fuck do I envy those guys. Plus, I know that nicotine has an appetite suppressing effect, which makes me want it even more. Do any other nonsmokers share these thoughts?
parenting and EDs
/u/aworkinprogress_ [5'6 | 116.4 lbs | BMI 18.8 | UGW 102]
Created: Fri Aug 24 19:06:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a2xrd/parenting_and_eds/
---
Iāve just been thinking about this a lot lately. Iām a teenager and not having kids for like 15+ years but Iāve always known I want kids. I come from a big family and I like it a lot. But Iām not sure how Iād raise kids with a healthy relationship towards food when I donāt think Iāll ever have one myself. Iāll never try to push disordered behaviors but what if they just notice things that I do and that influences them? What if my future kid ends up overweight and I have to help them lose weight? How the fuck would I do that?
Anyways did yāallās parents impact your disorder at all? Anybody on here have kids? How is it?
[Other] DAE have problems when they try to eat a "normal" amount?
/u/PiggySmiggyGiggy
Created: Fri Aug 24 19:03:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a2x6u/dae_have_problems_when_they_try_to_eat_a_normal/
---
I usually stick to 500 or under calories, but today I ate about 900. I just finished eating and am now having problems walking with my back staright, and feel VERY sick like I am going to throw up. Is this normal? Did I eat too much than I should have?
I bought half a pound of cashews at the grocery store and really want them right now
/u/kernalmustache [169cm ā | CW 105lbs | BMI 16.7 | SW 130lbs šø]
Created: Fri Aug 24 19:00:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a2wcq/i_bought_half_a_pound_of_cashews_at_the_grocery/
---
but I kinda already ate enough today and it would totally be a bad idea for me to eat them right? Wouldn't that be like 1200 calories? Why are cashews so dense?
what even happened to me
/u/aworkinprogress_ [5'6 | 116.4 lbs | BMI 18.8 | UGW 102]
Created: Fri Aug 24 18:56:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a2vab/what_even_happened_to_me/
---
a couple years ago I could restrict to like 700 a day easily with no bad side effects for weeks on end
and now Iām doing like 1000 calories a day, and I just feel so shitty, like Iām gonna pass out all the time. I take a multivitamin and iron supplement and generally eat pretty healthy. I know Iām a teenager and I need more calories than adults but I feel like 1000 is a number that I should logically feel ok at.
Savoury food cravings -- any ideas how to overcome them?
/u/edgaranalhoe [5'10" | ugbmi 18-19 ish | bmi 21 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 18:45:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a2ssu/savoury_food_cravings_any_ideas_how_to_overcome/
---
every month i get really intense cravings for around 7-10 days before my period, and it drives me nuts. unlike many people, i don't crave sweets, but all the savoury, saucy, cheesy junk... normally i would just give in on a couple days, but i am trying to lose the 2 kgs i gained from vacation-binging in the past two weeks, and i really need to get back to restricting now. i try new ways of coping with cravings every month, but at this point i am running out of ideas....
i will start with some of my own tips from before:
1. baby food: lots of options in the ~70-150 cal range that come in conveniently small portions. i've been living off of [Gerber's Lil' Entrees](https://www.gerber.com/product-category-landing/product-subcategory/Index/18) like creamy mac and cheese, and stars in meat and tomato sauce. for those living in canada, [Love Ducks](http://lovechildorganics.com/product-category/snacks/love-ducks/) are a great substitute for movie night snacks, because you can melt them in your mouth one at a time, and it releases all the flavour really slowly, hahaha. also, yogurt melts!! they are so messy and such a pain in the ass to eat properly, that about 15 pieces are enough to coat my mouth in the sugary powder preventing me from eating normally for a while.
2. [Halfpops](https://www.halfpops.com/#flavors) -- oh my god!!! i never thought that half-popped corn could be sooo good and thoroughly seasoned; while they aren't the most low-calorie option out there, the smallest packages are about 150 cal each; they last long and by the end you kinda feel so tired from chewing on the hard kernels you don't want anything else. this, said by someone who assimilates about a whole pound of snack foods during just one episode of family guy.
3. shirataki, tofu and spnach noodles in massive amounts, seasoned with salt or a little bit of tomato paste/any light sauce of your choice. i like them with ikea chicken meatballs for a "balanced" 150 cal dinner.
4. cherry tomatoes. i just spend the whole day snacking on about 2-3 pints of these, and it helps prevent binging, at least for me.
5. baked or fried eggplant (no oil). the key is to cut it up, generously sprinkle with salt and let it sit for about 10 minutes before cooking for some flavour
[Rant/Rave] Iām so fucking mad at myself.
/u/kayasawyer [ 4'11 | 100 | 18.5 | 20 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 18:31:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a2pdf/im_so_fucking_mad_at_myself/
---
Today we celebrated the day i was adopted 22 years ago and my dads birthday tomorrow because my moms going out of town.
Well tonight we had pork chops with those fried onion things on it and a salad with vinegar salad dressing. For desert we had an ice cream cake that was cookies and cream. I ate half a piece and an Oreo cookie. Iām not worried about the pork chop and the salad because I added up the calories and it wasnāt that high and I just didnāt want to worry my parents so I just forced myself to eat but now I regret eating the piece of cake. It was so fucking sugary and I hate sugary things so much. I just hate myself so much right now and want to purge or workout forever but Iām trying to force myself to not do either because what would that accomplish? Nothing. I still ate the cake. Iām still a god damn fat ass. Everything fucking sucks right now. On top of that I relapsed a few days ago and now I canāt wear anything but sweatshirts around my family because I know how theyāll react and Iām not ready to get treatment. Iām fine I just had a bad day. Everyone has bad days right? Mine are just more severe than others I guess. Iāve been fine since. Anyway I can still taste the cake in my mouth even though I brushed my teeth. The thought of the cake makes me sick to my stomach. I think Iām just going to get drunk. Thereās not much else to do I guess. I already worked out for 132 minutes today so thereās not much reason to workout anymore today I guess. Who knows? Letās see.
I hope everyoneās day is going better than mine. Also I know this post sounds depressing I just needed to get my thoughts out but I promise Iām safe and Iām not going to do anything to hurt myself. My parents are here and Iām safe. Pinky swear. If anything happens or I feel like I need to hurt myself Iāll go to my parents for support.
If Only This Could Be Every Moment
/u/strugglebusorbust
Created: Fri Aug 24 18:11:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a2kes/if_only_this_could_be_every_moment/
---
Not sure what to flare... Rant/rave? I'm on mobile...
Right now, I'm freshly showered and pouring myself a glass of wine. Soon, my bf will be home, and we'll enjoy salad for dinner together. Mine even has creamy dressing. Right now, I feel normal.
And then I remember what I did today to "be okay" with wine and creamy dressing.
I skipped lunch with my co-workers and ate a 200 calorie lunch at my desk. Then I took an EC stack so that I wouldn't be tempted by the rest of their food. "No thanks," I said. "I'm STUFFED."
I dumped out a seltzer from the Coke machine at work because I saw a hint of dye in the beginning of the stream. I tried a sip at first, though, so that I could try to be normal, so I logged 5 calories "just in case" after I dumped most of this drink that probably didn't have 5 calories *total*.
I exercised on the elliptical until I met my daily step goal, and then I kept going until the time ran out. I was actually nervous, because I wanted to go longer, but I had to be somewhere. It's, okay, though, because I made sure to park far away from my errand locations so that I would eventually reach my second step goal.
But right now, I feel normal, even peaceful. And at least that's something.
No matter what your day has been like, I hope you all get a bit of peace tonight.
Please be kind to yourselves. ā„ļø
Speech
/u/slightlyannoyed0
Created: Fri Aug 24 18:08:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a2jdw/speech/
---
This is my first post... what's there to lose?
(pun unintended, don't kill me)
First off, I am 16 years old and have had a difficult time with body image and eating disorders since I was 11. Diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia at that age has scared the shit out of me to the point of not wanting to leave the house because I ate something.
This year however, comma, I have started to open up more about my eating disorders after a recent relapse. I decided to do (my first ever speech in speech and debate!!) an informative speech on eating disorders. I really want to able to appear strong while presenting the intro of my speech, but so far, I have had too many thoughts scrambled around about these situations. I am too scared that the introduction will seem too personal and make everything about me instead of having... well... information.
The season has started, and I want to impress the judges and my teacher, I have always been a people-pleaser until I was 11 though, which is a bit peculiar of how it abruptly stopped after the diagnosis.
I am terrified to begin writing about a sensitive topic like this, but I really WANT to do this, it could empower others. My mental state could be ruined again just from trying to go back to the days of "surviving" off 200 calories and 100 ounces of water.
What I am trying to say is:
Does anyone have any tips towards helping me in the process of doing all this?
How do I keep calm while writing, and even performing, this subject?
Am I a hypocrite for still having an eating disorder and choosing a topic to inform others to recover, even though I don't want to recover myself?
Are those too many questions? Is this post too long?
My bad,
Thank you for any help, it is highly appreciated!
[Discussion] When did you lose your period?
/u/litzy808
Created: Fri Aug 24 17:58:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a2h4b/when_did_you_lose_your_period/
---
This may sounds pretty stupid, but I have found that one of the main reasons I restrict is to lose my period. Iām unsure why as I have never had particular bad periods - the pain, nausea, dizziness and low moods are mostly manageable. Still, every time Iām faced with a decision whether to eat or not to eat, the fact that I could lose my period nearly always has the power to stop that bite in itās tracks.
So how long did it take for all of you to lose your periods? And what were the first signs that that was happening?
Thank you all!
[Rant/Rave] Counted up my nibbles today
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Fri Aug 24 17:56:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a2gqe/counted_up_my_nibbles_today/
---
So I have this horrible habit of just eating "one" or a "bite" of something and not counting it. Did today and shit I'm so mad š 50 to a hundred calories I'm not accounting for each day, no wonder my weight loss is going so slow. I need to either stop or count up a <100 snack so I'll stop forging like a goddamn racoon.
Does anyone not look for work because of their weight?
/u/Deathscua [5'2"| F | GW: 85]
Created: Fri Aug 24 17:40:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a2cza/does_anyone_not_look_for_work_because_of_their/
---
So Iāve been at my job for three years now, they donāt give raises and itās for sure the lower end if not lowest in my industry (pay grade wise) then we got one woman, she already quit tho, and she was like 5ā11 and had to have had her BMI at 18ish. All of us senior designers are hourly and sheās the only one who was on salary and she could barely make a rectangle in illustrator, she would spend her days sitting around eating chips while we had to take on her workload until she quit.
Because of this I have been terrified to even look for work, stupid right, because I honestly think no one will pay me more because Iām not a beautiful waif.
[rant/rave] Stuffed my face š
/u/LuciePhew
Created: Fri Aug 24 17:37:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a2c42/rantrave_stuffed_my_face/
---
Today I ate a fry up for breakfast, a toastie & huge slab of lemon drizzle cake whilst out for lunch and then ordered sweet & sour chicken with egg fried rice takeaway for dinner.
Drank about 2 pints of milk too.
Iād lost 3lb in the past week and feel like Iāve eaten it all back šš
Remember, Natalie Portman ate *1200* calories a day to get as thin as she was for Black Swan. You don't have to starve to be thin š¤
/u/ana-alice
Created: Fri Aug 24 17:19:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a27mt/remember_natalie_portman_ate_1200_calories_a_day/
---
https://popworkouts.com/natalie-portman-black-swan-workout-diet/amp/
[Other] I wanna be reaaally skinny
/u/Nutellapples
Created: Fri Aug 24 17:11:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a25qs/i_wanna_be_reaaally_skinny/
---
Gosh I just wanna have thin everything, thin arms , thin legs , flat stomach , ribcage sticking out and body in general looking fragile and light. I wanna wear my oversized clothes and look good on them , I wanna wear skinny jeans with an oversized top without looking like a chicken. I wanna wear fitting clothes and not see fat rolls. I want clothes to hang off my body and fit into the smallest clothes ever. I want my waist to measure at 20" one day. I want to have a 30-20-34 measurement one day(kinda impossible but I gotta try my hardest damn it). I wanna be cute and so bony in oversized clothes. I dont wanna have back fat anymore. I wanna have a thigh gap , sticking collarbones and I wanna be able to put my hands around my thighs, legs,waist, ankles and calves. I wanna be so thin only my body's bone structure shows and when I wear a tight dress I actually look good instead of flabby or my fat showing , ugh. I want a toned and so perfectly flat that my ribcage and hipbones stick out in an unhealthy way. I wanna be thinspo worthy and actually motivate myself. I want to look proportionate , I gain weight in my upper body and look so fucking disproportionate it used to make me cry every night. I wanna be so skinny people turn around and look , and worry about me . I wanna have no fatty cheeks . I wanna see all my fucking bones stick out.I just wanna be perfect......
[Help] Scientific explanation please?
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 24 17:00:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a22p0/scientific_explanation_please/
---
So yesterday I weighed myself at 107.6 in the morning. Ecstatic, etc. Vowed to restrict extra to keep up progress. Ate 140 calories until the afternoon (107.8) and then had a semi-large meal. Ended at 500 cals MAX. Somehow was 109.4 by the end of the day.
Today I weigh myself, Iām surprised to see that Iām 107.6 again (expected to gain based on last nightās weight). Ate a light 50 cal breakfast which was unusual, I usually donāt eat breakfast. I think this caused me to be hungry for the rest of the day and I ate much more than usual (927). Weighed myself just now and Iām 108.6. Wtf is going on?? Am I just going to lose less water weight overnight and end up fatter that way?
join me in a bulimia free september
/u/relativeletter6 [161cm | 55.1kg | gw 50kg]
Created: Fri Aug 24 16:52:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a20fq/join_me_in_a_bulimia_free_september/
---
iām not binging, purging, or taking laxatives even once in september. i will restrict every day, or eat at maintenance. i am in control. i wonāt. i canāt keep up with this anymore and neither can my body.
comment if you want to join me, we can make an imessage or discord group chat and idk convince one another not to participate in these behaviours :/ iām suffering from constantly binging and either purging or taking so many lax i think iām gonna die (but hey, i always restrict the day following a binge if i lax! because i projectile vomit anything i put in my stomach including water. cute right?)
[Rant/Rave] Belly fat
/u/eva1588
Created: Fri Aug 24 16:45:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1yml/belly_fat/
---
Why the hell wont it go away? Its like my whole body is getting smaller and smaller but the proportions are not what i want. I used to have a flat stomach too, and now this freaking pooch wont go away. fml.
[Other] CB Diet, Day 2
/u/evian-x
Created: Fri Aug 24 16:37:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1wiy/cb_diet_day_2/
---
Waist: (didnt have time to measure)
Cw: (didnt have time to weigh in)
Plans: i work 7.5 hours today but since i had to sneak a friend out of my house, i didn't have time to get an apple OR tuna. I only got about 5 hours of sleep too. I took my wellbutrin and adderall so hopefully that'll keep me awake and not as hungry.
Log: as of 9:50 am, nothing. As of 5:27, still nothing. I might get an apple if i really have the energy to.
Exercise: my job typically serves as exercise to me, but it might be slow today. Work proved to be rather difficult, especially on an empty stomach and mind.
[Help] how do you deny help?
/u/SamMav67 [5'6 | 126 | 20.4 | -9 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 16:34:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1vpv/how_do_you_deny_help/
---
accidentally told a friend while drunk that I think I have an ED (I know I do), and Iām worried sheās going to try to help me and I donāt want to change what Iām doing. I love that she cares but I donāt know how to tell her Iām fine with it? Worried my mom is going to say something too.
What do you say to people when they try to help you?
[Discussion] Have any of you lived with roommates before?
/u/littlestpeach [5'7 | CW 118? | 20F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 16:31:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1v4x/have_any_of_you_lived_with_roommates_before/
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I'm in college and living with two roommates for the first time. Everything's going great and they're super nice, but I really hate sharing a kitchen with others and eating around other people and just agh.
I guess one of the main good things about living with roommates is that it makes it easier for me to stay on track since I'm too embarrassed to binge in front of other people, which is great because one of them is usually out in the living room or the kitchen.
For those of you who live/lived with other people who aren't family or close friends, how did you deal with your eating disorder? Did your roommates care or comment on the food you had in the kitchen and the things you ate or anything related to food/eating? Did living with roommates affect your eating disorder?
​
Talk me out of a binge??
/u/throwaway86_443
Created: Fri Aug 24 16:30:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1uly/talk_me_out_of_a_binge/
---
Iāve been doing so well lately, and I donāt even recall the last time I binged (thatās huge for me)
But I want so badly to order some pizza for dinner. I know I will regret it though.....
Please talk me out of it!!!
whyy am i like this
/u/relativeletter6 [161cm | 55.1kg | gw 50kg]
Created: Fri Aug 24 16:23:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1stb/whyy_am_i_like_this/
---
literally 2 days ago i swore iād never lax again after 75 made me want to shoot myself from genuinely cripping pain, but here i am again, binging and purging with lax.
[Goal] I want to look good at a party
/u/glitterfitte
Created: Fri Aug 24 16:23:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1sox/i_want_to_look_good_at_a_party/
---
Sooo, I'm kind of relapsing but not really as of recent. I gained a lot of weight during recovery and want to lose some of it. I still eat around 800-1000 calories unless i'm fasting and want to keep doing that, but I still prefer this sub over loseit, 1200isplenty etc because I feel much more comfortable airing my worries/past experiences here.
Anyhow, over the past couple of months I've lost nearly 10 pounds, which I feel pretty good about. I'm still very unhappy with my body though, and my bmi is in the upper range of normal. I've been doing so so good with my eating lately, but tonight I gave in and ate chocolate, pizza and chips with my friends. While stuffing my face with pizza I see a notification on my phone. Oh god. I've been invited to a party next saturday and it's going to be filled with people I don't know, guys I haven't met since I was way skinnier and previous hookups. I've decided to go instead of just wallowing in my depression at home, and I've made it my goal to fast and lose as much as I can before saturday. I want to look and feel good.
I just wanted to put my goal out there.
[Help] Ideas on what to do with my bananas
/u/Bookeisha [182 cm | 62.5 kg | BMI 18.8 | M |]
Created: Fri Aug 24 16:14:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1qdx/ideas_on_what_to_do_with_my_bananas/
---
So my mom got me all those bananas (like 10) about a week ago and I can't bring myself to eat any of them. I've kept them in my refrigerator in the meantime but as expected, they're starting to turn dark.
Thing is, I don't want to throw them out or let them rot. Food waste makes me feel so guilty and knowing my mom took the time to buy them for me makes it even harder. I know it's just bananas but they smell so strong I'm afraid it would trigger a binge if I have one.
What should/can I do with them? My roommate won't have them either I don't know why. Can I make like (milk)shakes out of them and then freeze them? Any other ideas?
Thanks ā
FELLOW NZ MEMBERS!!!! Look @ WHAT POPPED UP IN MY FB FEED!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!
/u/losemore [5'10" | 141b | 20.4 | -39lb | 22F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 16:11:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1phb/fellow_nz_members_look_what_popped_up_in_my_fb/
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https://i.redd.it/6ytcdcun74i11.jpg
anybody else not even underweight but ALWAYS cold?
/u/aworkinprogress_ [5'6 | 116.4 lbs | BMI 18.8 | UGW 102]
Created: Fri Aug 24 16:09:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1p4c/anybody_else_not_even_underweight_but_always_cold/
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like its literally 110F here right now we're on heat advisory but I was walking home from school and it was the only time I felt ok/warm all day. Now I'm inside and wearing a bathrobe and a blanket lol
[Intro] Velcro Knees
/u/XoloGlumTree
Created: Fri Aug 24 15:55:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1kss/velcro_knees/
---
Learning to drive led to a full time job which led to a good income which led to takeaways and TV most nights and BAM! Obese.
This was hard to accept as I had always been "twiggy". I had never had to worry about CICO, I was the girl with the figure everyone envied.
So here I am, eating 10cal jellypots and looking down at a pot-belly body constantly covered in bruises.
The latest relapse was caused by wear and tear on my knees, officially named "chondromalacia patella". Going up and down stairs was excruciatingly painful for a long time and each movement of my knee sounds like Velcro being ripped apart.
Doctor advised that every extra bit of weight on your body is x3 pressure through your knees or something to that effect, so she was blaming my weight on my knees problems. Completely understandable and self-inflicted. So gotta shift the excess.
Gotta look better than my friend at her own wedding.
Gotta show everyone I'm not a failure or a quitter.
Gotta beat the rest of them.
So determined I'm even eating broccoli, funny how your tastes change. I'd eat cardboard if it promised me the world. Not quite managed any kind of fasting, you all sound like you have that down to a fine art though.
I am only allowed my favourite TV when I am hammering the cross trainer at a high resistance and no stopping during an episode.
I will be comfortable in my convertible car and look beautiful in skintight dresses, with necklaces dangling over my collarbone. Fighting for what was mine originally.
[Rant/Rave] Food allergies are saving me from binging!
/u/DistortionPuddle [5'7" | CW: 141.5 | BMI: 22.2 | GW: 125 | 31F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 15:54:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1kkg/food_allergies_are_saving_me_from_binging/
---
I've had increased variety and frequency of food allergies develop over the past couple years, and they seem to be accelerating at an alarming rate. Talked to my doctor the other day, and she recommended I calm my overactive immune system by eliminating a TON of stuff from my diet. I do \*great\* with strict rules and guidelines, so this is AWESOME for me. Can't binge if I can no longer eat all my major binge foods.
​
Now off-limits for at least two months?
* Soy
* Wheat
* Dairy
* Sugar
* Corn
* Raw produce
I'm going to lose SO MUCH WEIGHT.
hard to swallow pills for myself
/u/aworkinprogress_
Created: Fri Aug 24 15:45:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1i9w/hard_to_swallow_pills_for_myself/
---
the boy who broke my heart isnāt gonna want to get back together just because I lose 15 lbs and go from bmi 19 to 16.5 š¤š«
[Discussion] Chocolate blunts appetite? Possibly
/u/thebarryalien
Created: Fri Aug 24 15:39:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a1gl4/chocolate_blunts_appetite_possibly/
---
I remembered during my heaviest restricting days in the past, I would have a ton of milk chocolate.
I wondered if there was something to it. After not eating chocolate for a long long time, I've been experimenting with it for a few weeks. Maybe it's placebo but it definitely appears to have an effect for me personally. If I eat \~100-250 calories worth of chocolate and nothing else with calories, I can blunt my hunger for the entire day until dinner time, to the point that ultimately the deficit I achieve is greater on average, and I'm OK with a smaller dinner.
I'm still skeptical and going to give it a few more weeks. Obviously if chocolate is your binge food, don't take this advice. I don't know if dark chocolate would be as effective or more effective... Personally I'm not a fan of it.
I'm curious if anyone else has experienced this effect?
Glame&Gore: "How I Lost 28 POUNDS of FAT and 6 INCHES Off My Waist"
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Fri Aug 24 15:05:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a16pw/glamegore_how_i_lost_28_pounds_of_fat_and_6/
---
https://youtu.be/svtc3ey-ZC0
[Help] Old lady needs help with Pinterest
/u/PM_ME_BrusselSprouts [5'3" | CW: 165 | BMI: 30.0 | 33, F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 15:01:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a15mh/old_lady_needs_help_with_pinterest/
---
I wanted to make an ED Pinterest board, I have a few for my hobbies already... do I really need it separate from my normal email? I don't really care to be too discreet, I just don't want Pinterest to recommend my "skinny bitches" board to say my 60 year old aunt (who liked my sewing board) or my FB friends.
Any help would be appreciated.
[Rant/Rave] I cried in the fitting room today
/u/ThrowPotential
Created: Fri Aug 24 14:54:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a13gm/i_cried_in_the_fitting_room_today/
---
Twice.
I've been really trying to lose for a couple of months now and I have nothing to show for it. And I ***refuse*** to buy clothes in the next size up.
Makes me want to restrict more and more and more in the hope of having some kind of weight loss progress
[Discussion] Scared to leave my little American āalmost everyone is over weight so Iām not as badly triggered and blend inā bubble abroad
/u/LemonsnRoses
Created: Fri Aug 24 14:48:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a11u7/scared_to_leave_my_little_american_almost/
---
Iām going abroad next summer, and Iām so scared of standing out amongst the skinny locals. At least in America the norm is over weight, so I blend in. I donāt stand out, and I can tolerate myself kind of. But in other countries, where fat Americans are the butt of jokes...itās a nightmare. I have to lose so much weight for this trip. What have your experiences been with going abroad and different beauty standards/skinny locals? Places where being a little tubby is uncommon, and everyone is supermodel skinny have to be super triggering, and I just want to enjoy myself!
[Discussion] Scared college roommates will notice my ed
/u/LemonsnRoses
Created: Fri Aug 24 14:41:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a0zw4/scared_college_roommates_will_notice_my_ed/
---
So Iām going to a 4 year college next year, and Iām really scared that my roommates or other people will notice how I eat...especially because I wonāt have the stuff that my family buys in the house anymore to tempt me to binge. What Iām saying is, the second Iām out of the house itās going to be all sashimi (time to be broke because one of my only safe foods is the most expensive seafood), zero noodles, veg, protein shakes, and not much else. Any roommate with sense would realize that something is up. Iām so ashamed of my ed, and the thought of someone whispering behind my back about how weird and gross I am terrifies me. Especially because Iām scared that Iāll have to purge in the communal bathrooms n public ones. And the laxative abuse...thatāll raise some flags when they hear the sound of 1,000 elephants coming out of my ass. So my question is: how do those of you who are in/have been in college hide your behaviors (specifically purging, laxatives, and restricting) while in a dorm?
Umpteenth post on senna and calories
/u/aesperia
Created: Fri Aug 24 14:31:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a0x1v/umpteenth_post_on_senna_and_calories/
---
I am sorry, I know you all must have seen posts like this so often, but I am spiking anxiety here and just need to understand.
For context: I have been suffering of depression for years, with occasional self-harm; after going on a diet last year and becoming more or less skinny, bmi 21/20, my self-esteem spiked. Great, I thought, now I'm a decent human being - and before the diet my bmi was 24 at its peak, so you can imagine .... -. Boys started to notice me more, ask me out before other friends: I don't think it has anything to do with the way I looked actually, just that my improved self-esteem made me more likable. And so I started to think: I don't want to go back. I absolutely can't go back. I need to lose more and more, so that even if I gain back a bit it won't be a problem - disordered thinking, I know.
And this is how I fell in bulimia. To make it worse, I just can't control my self-harm instincts after a binge, after which I also eat something like 20 senna pills - where the recommended dose is two a day. In the past few months of binging and senna, I thought at most my weight had remained stable, when in fact I still lost like a kilo - in like three months, so not much. This has me thinking: does senna actually prevent even just partial calories absorption or not? I looked a lot into the matter, or at least as much as a non medical student can understand about it, but there doesn't seem to be many studies about this: does senna work? Doesn't it? Your experiences ?
[Rant/Rave] āShe only was hired because sheās hot...look at her wow!ā
/u/LemonsnRoses
Created: Fri Aug 24 14:13:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a0rst/she_only_was_hired_because_shes_hotlook_at_her_wow/
---
My dad is literally the most body shaming, annoying, and downright misogynistic person I know sometimes. Whenever he sees a pretty, young, skinny (and preferably blond) girl working anywhere he just has to say that she was only hired because she is so pretty and thin. Waitresses? Life guards? Grocery store cashiers? Camp counselors? Only there for their looks and skinny bodies. Makes me feel like shit. If Iām not skinny and pretty, why even try to succeed, you know? My mom is skinny and pretty and a literal genius, but sheās only in a high position at her company because sheās pretty according to him. Sad thing is, I know how the world works, and heās probably right on some fronts. No wonder why Iām too scared to try to get a job as a waitress because I think Iām too ugly... haha guess Iāll be broke and ugly instead!!
[Rant/Rave] DAE sabotage themselves before going out drinking?
/u/2worried2care [5'6" | CW 122.4 lb | BMI 19.8| 26F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 13:57:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a0mwv/dae_sabotage_themselves_before_going_out_drinking/
---
My friend invited me to a beer garden tonight so I know I'm going to be drinking, which means I want to save my calories for beer but also need to eat something so I don't black out. It's like a balancing act. I'm going to end up going out drinking on 500 calories and very little water. I know that I should try harder to at least get to 800-900 calories but I'm definitely too anxious to do that. I know I should drink some water because I haven't been hydrating well the past few days but I don't want to see the water weight on the scale?? I know that's stupid but that's what my brain says. I should be looking forward to going out with my friends but instead I'm obsessing about what time I should eat the tuna sandwich I planned for myself so that I can resist food at the beer garden and also not get too sloppy.
[Help] Organizer/planner app?
/u/shipp-solomon
Created: Fri Aug 24 13:50:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a0kuh/organizerplanner_app/
---
Can anyone recommend a good scheduler/planner app? Iām not in school so I donāt need something for classes/homework. Just need more things to soothe my OCD.
[Tip] Zero Calorie Snack Ideas!!!
/u/AllyAllien
Created: Fri Aug 24 13:42:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a0il6/zero_calorie_snack_ideas/
---
Recently I've been having really bad cravings for, I know, gross, calories. However, I haven't given in. Here are some zero calorie snacks I came up with so those nasty calories can't make me fat! Enjoy!
For salty cravings:
-Get 15 ice cubes and shred them in a blender until they form an icie like consistency. Sprinkle with salt to taste. Drink with a straw and question life choices.
-Get a tall glass of carbonated water and mix in a tablespoon of sea salt. Enjoy!
If you want to binge:
-Take two full ice cubes and put them on the insides of both of your cheeks. They will slowly go numb until they are just as cold and empty as your soul. If you want to play a fun game while waiting for the ice cubes to melt, come up with 50 reasons why you hate yourself before they're gone!
For a warm, filling meal:
Fry 500ml of water in a medium sized pan. Make sure not to overcook and DO NOT use any oil! If you have some calories to spare, season with pepper and tears.
That's all from me! Happy dieting!
[Help] How do I stop the scale addiction?
/u/shipp-solomon
Created: Fri Aug 24 13:03:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a073a/how_do_i_stop_the_scale_addiction/
---
Did I poop? Weigh myself
Did I step into the bathroom? Weigh myself
Get out of the shower? Weigh myself
Need a Kleenex? Weigh myself
Has it been 5 minutes? Weigh myself
[Rant/Rave] Health + Family Problems Have Been Causing Me to Binge. Restriction Starts Again Today!
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Fri Aug 24 12:56:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a04ts/health_family_problems_have_been_causing_me_to/
---
Hey, guys. I've been having a lot going on lately. My father and stepmother are most likely getting a divorce. I've been having health issues outside of my ED. Usually stress causes me to not have an appetite whatsoever. However, for about the past two weeks I've been binging like 4-5 days out of the week. This is getting ridiculous. I'm going back to work today after being off for awhile from health problems. I'm up like 5 or 6 lbs and feeling huge. I EC stacked this morning and don't feel hungry yet which is good.
I'm hoping no one at work notices that I've gained weight. I'm nervous to go back to work but glad because it helps me restrict more. I need to buy more Bronkaid...
I'm planning on restricting as best I can and not weighing myself until September 1st. Let's do this!!!
Emotionally Weird Week
/u/Jenny_Roberts
Created: Fri Aug 24 12:48:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9a02kg/emotionally_weird_week/
---
(on mobile, can't flair) (kinda long?)
It's been a WEEK for me...
I've been back to school for a week now and was staying on a friend's couch while I searched for a place to live. I really wanted an apartment because I didn't want to buy the mandatory meal plan : no healthy/low cal options, and I was paying $1000+ more in food expenses than I would on my own.
I finally found a place close by ( I don't have a car and there isn't public transportation at my school) and signed the lease.
When the manager took me on a walk-through, the place was absolutely filthy. The whole appartment smelled like an old refrigerator, there were bags of trash everywhere, it was so musty. My room was clean, but covered in a thick layer of dust and the carpet was grimey. Oh well. At least it was mine. And cheap.
There was another bedroom and the manager told me she had lived there for a while and had left the mess. Ughhhh, I don't want to have an absolute slob as a housemate.
I didn't really think highly of this mystery girl.
..until I noticed the pictures on the counter. I knew some of them from Instagram, and I knew several people from them. Maybe I did know this girl after all?
After a little online snooping, I found out I actually did know this person- we were aquaintences since freshman year. And she is hands down the most gorgeous girl I know. Instagram influencer level gorgeous. Super skinny, big boobs, beautiful skin, piercing eyes, thick long hair, very popular. She even has a sexy voice. I've definitely harbored a girl crush on her for years.
I finally officially met her as my roommate yesterday on her way out. She explained she had sublet the place for the summer and that person was responsible for the whole mess. Turns out we even are going to the same gym.
On the good side, now I can actually keep my safe foods in the house and not worry about spending thousands of dollars on dining hall junk food. On the other side, now I'm living with actual thinspo and I'm walking that weird line between jealousy and attraction- and because I'm so fat, shame and self-disgust. I'm like thinspo cucking myself š wtf.
Tl,dr: Moved into super messy appartment and thought I'd hate my roommate. Turns out she's my girl crush from afar and I'll be living with an actual goddess for a year, reveling in my own inadequacy as a woman.
Does anyone here have a misfit ray or similar?
/u/bashytr0n [5'2"|90lbs|17.1| GW 40kg/88lbs | LW 35kg/77lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 24 12:37:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99zz8c/does_anyone_here_have_a_misfit_ray_or_similar/
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Considering getting a little wearable , something very understated as i only really want it to wear at work and during fitness classes. Would love to hear some thoughts on this product or even reccomendations for similar ones. I would prefer not to spend more than $100 or buy a fitbit and this one seems good for my needs.
What is the accuracy like with wearables?
Do you find they motivate you to be more active?
Currently living paycheck to paycheck
/u/pouiupork
Created: Fri Aug 24 12:24:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99zvdw/currently_living_paycheck_to_paycheck/
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And I love it.
Okay, it's actually really stressful lol. BUT I feel like I have an "excuse", both for myself and others, to restrict. And I don't even have the money to spend extra on food and feel guilty about it.
So, ED win I guess? Sometimes I wonder how I ever had a normal thought pattern about things like this.
I'm interviewing for my assistant at my job right now
/u/SextMex [5'1" | CW: 115 | HW: 180 | LW: <80]
Created: Fri Aug 24 12:22:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99zuuc/im_interviewing_for_my_assistant_at_my_job_right/
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And the best candidate is someone I searched extensively online, found a username she uses on some things, searched that, and found her ED Tumblr.
I'm was going to hire her regardless, unless someone better shows up (still have interviews all next week) but I'm worried about forming an unhealthy friendship with her.
PSA: Don't tie anything you don't want found out to your name or any other username connected to you. š¤
[Rant/Rave] Diving deep into denial
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 12:09:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99zqmi/diving_deep_into_denial/
---
I canāt tell if Iām entirely deluded and Iām relapsing hard or if Iām actually ok. I have been trying to lose weight āthe healthy wayā but decided to throw in occasional fasting, and Omad and (vegan) Keto on nonfast days. Iāve had a few binge days here and there, but Ive still lost almost ten lbs in the last monthish (some undoubtedly water weight). The thing is, Iām averaging 700-1000 a week even with binges. I donāt want to low restrict because Iām scared Iām gonna start feeling sick. But I donāt feel like Iām trying very hard or anything, and so far I feel physically fine. Great actually. Iām just not hungry. I donāt FEEL like Iām relapsing but I know on paper,objectively, this is disordered behavior. Or at least it is when I do it, but not when āregularā dieters do lol. On the other hand, I really do plan on stopping at a healthy place. Idk what the point of this is. Iām just confused and overwhelmed and needed to let it out.
[Discussion] I'm not weighing for a month, who else is in?
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Fri Aug 24 11:58:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99zn3z/im_not_weighing_for_a_month_who_else_is_in/
---
I kept thinking I needed the accountability of weighing daily. But honestly I think I will find it easier to stick to my calories for the day without the nagging feeling of "you weigh the same or more, restrict harder" or I binge instead of just staying at my allotment because I'm frustrated.
It's really going to be difficult but I think I'm going to make it!
[Rant/Rave] "You look healthy"
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7.5" | 110.4 | 16.91 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Fri Aug 24 11:42:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ziai/you_look_healthy/
---
Well, I have to fix that now dont I?
I saw a coworker today that I haven't seen in a few months and she complimented me a lot on my appearance saying "you look good, clean, healthy"
So, in my ED brain I think "I look fat, greasy, and like I've gained weight"
I guess I've reached a new level, because being described as "healthy" made me want to cry. I don't want to look full of life. I want to be skin and bones. I want be thinspo. Ugh, I feel disgusted with myself...
[Discussion] anyone dating someone whoās naturally skinny as hell? advice/support pls
/u/ketothrowaway95 [5'2.5" | CW 133 | BMI 23.9 | -54 | UGW 99 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 11:37:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99zgob/anyone_dating_someone_whos_naturally_skinny_as/
---
Iām 5ā2.5 and for the last 3 years Iāve been heavier than my 5ā11 boyfriend, by a lot. As of this month we finally weigh the same!! Heās 131/133 - BMI of 18.3/18.5. Even though we weigh the same I feel like I look fucking huge next to him..
whenever Iām fasting/dieting I make him all the foods I wish I could eat and it helps watching him enjoy it but itās also soul crushing that he has always been a small eater whereas Iām as insatiable as a black hole. It kind of pisses me off when he can barely even finish his food/always leaves leftovers in the fridge and undereats a lot for his height and then ācomplainsā that he canāt gain weight... I would do anything to just naturally not want to binge every time I try to eat and thatās just how he is.
For me to have the same BMI as him Iād have to weigh 103-105lbs.. my GW is 100lbs and Iām determined to get there but I hate how long itās taking. When we first started dating I weighed about 115ish and he said I was ātoo skinnyā back then but I donāt care, I want to be thin for me and I donāt care what he thinks.
Sorry for the rant š I guess Iām triggered every day seeing him eat until heās full and itās barely anything!! And how naturally thin he is even as he eats all my cheat foods. Heās been that size since we started dating almost 5 years ago meanwhile my weight has fluctuated between 115 to 187.. this year Iām determined to teach my GW so we can look skinny and hot together as opposed to his thin body making me look like an actual landmass.
I don't even know how to phrase my ED rage over this facebook thread
/u/kat-official [5'5" | -67.5 lbs | škatv]
Created: Fri Aug 24 11:33:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99zfk4/i_dont_even_know_how_to_phrase_my_ed_rage_over/
---
I'm in a shitposting-kinda tag group about unpopular opinions, so naturally I see a lot of things that are just wrong. Being able to scroll past is a virtue that I usually possess, but not today apparently. I don't know why I bothered, I just ended up triggering myself and getting pissed off and the usual people were on my side and the usual people were on the other person's side. Like, it was such a waste of time that I pretty much stopped reading half way through and that just made the people more mad at me.
It all started with a post that said "Refined sugar is basically poison to the body and is the culprit behind many mood disorders." and very little beyond that, saying that the exemption is fruit. I won't put the whole post because I don't want to rephrase anything and I don't know how much I'm able to keep direct quotes and still maintain privacy, if that makes sense. That post is like... OK, I get that this OP is american and they have disproportionate amounts of sugar in their stuff and that's obviously bad. But it's the "culprit behind mood disorders"? So, like, my major depressive disorder ... this person is saying that the reason I'm having a depressive episode right now is because I drank an orange crush last night essentially? I pretty much laugh reacted at the post and got called out for that (because that's super important) and I basically said that sugar has never caused a mood disorder. Cue "well how are you supposed to make serotonin without the chemicals for serotonin!" and "sugar crashes!" and "eating clean helps your mood it's proven!" like... yeah, but that's not the same as causing it. Anyways, I went to bed because I wasn't interested in that and the two people continued talking to themselves on that comment thread all night about how I'm a total idiot and can't deny science and blah blah. At some point the OP (who is also a mod in this group, so there's no blocking her (UGH>:[)) brought up that she fasts. OK, I get it. A lot of people have diets where they only eat once or twice a day.
Somebody with an autoimmune disorder chimed in and asked her about that. And she told this person. With an autoimmune disorder. Who she's never met and never attended medical school to treat. To do a 72 hour water fast. For this person's first time fasting. Because it will "basically cure any autoimmune disorder". And the person with the disorder said "Sounds great, I'll start tomorrow!". So now this girl with a disease is going into an extremely long fast right off the bat without even thinking to consult her doctor.
I had a problem with that and wrote "Hey how about we don't promote those kinds of eating habits on my thread, thanks". Cue the shitstorm : "It's not disordered eating, plenty of doctors recommend it to chemo patients / autoimmune patients / surgery patients" , "You're just so americanized that you think not eating for a few hours is the end of the world" (side note : I'm northern Canadian, and I've never even been to America or near it) , "You're exaggerating the risks, she doesn't need to consult a doctor it's perfectly safe and healthy!" ... This was all just kinda laughable, I linked them a few articles about the reality of it and fucked off. I made my own post saying that [you shouldn't promote long term fasting because] "Only doctors should recommend intense medical treatments" like that. It would be no different than me promoting my xanax. It's only going to lead to misinformation and abuse of the treatment. So I was gone for like two hours to go write an English exam (which I absolutely killed, if anyone cares!) and came back to comments like "She's clearly offended because she can't stand to not eat for a few hours" and "She stopped replying to go stuff her face"... I have a restriction ED so I don't think it stung nearly as much as they intended for it to (if it doesn't apply, let it slide) but I imagine anyone with a binge ED reading that thread would've taken it a lot worse than even I had.
This really upset me. I went and purged on an empty stomach (and I get that that's on me but I don't think it's not common sense to just not make comments like that to somebody talking about their eating disorder? like it just seems if someone is openly being like 'hey, i have a psychologically toxic relationship to food and I don't really wanna hear fasting tips, etc you shouldn't go and attack them for that). My post got pretty divided, mods and wannabe mods attacking me vs people who had read the science and knew the difference between healthy fasting and self-starvation. There was one guy making jokes which I'm grateful for.
After a while, the girl my post was openly shading commented this : "Based on your comments in this post Kat it's clear now this was a call-out post against me. I'll allow it to remain since it's generated good discussion. A comment to my friend [REDACTED] in another post obviously upset you, and if that triggered your memory of an eating disorder I do apologize."
I had a couple bones to pick with that apology. I get that she's trying to let it die now. I get why, she got ripped into about as much as I did. So I responded " 1) not a callout so much as a response & a parallel opinion 2) it's not a memory of an eating disorder, it's clearly ongoing, as I mentioned multiple times, and your comments about how my not thinking fasting for days on end is healthy to recommend indicates that i'm fat and "stuff my face constantly" is really contradictory of your 'apology' 3) i stand by that you shouldn't be offering that advice and that she should be consulting a real doctor before accepting it" ... the only thing she had to say about that? "You keep calling me and others dumb fucks without any provocation so don't act like a victim Kat. there is absolutely no evidence I called you dumb and fat, and my comments about stuffing your face were today on this post." So ... am I supposed to take comments about me stuffing my face as anything other than calling me fat? I stopped replying after that, because they'd called me a shit ton of names and insulted me a whole bunch so they obviously were just picking on me at that point complaining about the single comment where I said they were being dumb (I didn't say "dumb fucks" at all, for the record) and it's not really worth my time. I haven't checked the thread since, I assume all my notifications are the same 5 people circle jerking about how fat I am. Somebody in the group who's usually pretty cool messaged me to ask if I was ok. I don't know. I just want to starve until I die right now, and I get that that's super excessive and dramatic but it really fucked me up.
**TLDR:** told somebody on the internet not to recommend that somebody else water fast for 72 hours, got called fat & stupid for three hours straight. Currently crying, purging and about to throw away all the food in my fridge.
How many calories are in...
/u/swj_289
Created: Fri Aug 24 11:30:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99zeuj/how_many_calories_are_in/
---
A single French fry?
Iām not talking McDonaldās fries... I mean diner-style ones like these https://imgur.com/a/umZyYUF
[Goal] Finally finally got the fruit+coffee instead of the pastry+latte+self-hatred
/u/justletmedieinpeace [5'8" |CW 125 lb |GW 115 lb ]
Created: Fri Aug 24 11:26:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99zdg4/finally_finally_got_the_fruitcoffee_instead_of/
---
I mostly do the orthorexia thing then hate myself for eating āsinā foods (which I do frequently) so regardless of calories this was a good choice.
And not at all because my dentist shamed me about the state of my mouth. Iām terrified of him.
[Discussion] Does anyone here eat raw cured salmon or octopus? If you do, what do you think of it?
/u/hypothermi_a
Created: Fri Aug 24 11:25:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99zd2j/does_anyone_here_eat_raw_cured_salmon_or_octopus/
---
Iām going to try octopus this weekend. Iāve looked up the calories and protein and itād be perfect for my diet (by diet I mean cal limit lmao.)
How about raw (cured) salmon? Is it good?
I also really want to try a centipede and silk worms. Cooked of course. I love trying exotic foods, haha. Iāve heard that the worms taste like a nut, crunchy on the outside but gooey on the inside. Someone online said that centipede tastes like scorpion but I havenāt had either so I guess itāll be a surprise. Iāll let you all know though! Crunch crunch
[Rant/Rave] I bought a new fucking scale
/u/runner_618 [5'5 | CW 117.6 lbs | HW 126.6 lbs | LW 101 lbs | GW 105 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 11:20:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99zbqf/i_bought_a_new_fucking_scale/
---
Iām currently lugging it home from the subway and praying that itās nicer to me than my old one is. Going to go weigh myself wish me luck.
[Rant/Rave] Just ate a donut
/u/TossThisBizz
Created: Fri Aug 24 11:04:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99z6s6/just_ate_a_donut/
---
So one of my coworkers went out to buy donuts. Like the real good kind from a particular grocery store. And I wasnāt going to have one because I was doing so well today. Iād planned out dinner and my lunch was gonna be like 24 calories of cucumber pieces. But my husband said I should have a donut. I deserve to have a donut. I should let myself indulge. So I had a donut and I was fine.
And then the guilt kicked in. I wasnāt going to check the calories for that donut because I was going to just pretend it didnāt happen and move on with my life - forget for one day that I spazz out over calories. Well dumbass me checked the calories for that donut. 626 calories for one fucking donut. Thatās like almost my entire days worth of calories. Well with the dinner Iād planned it would take me up to 1212 calories for the day, which is a lot higher than I was planning. Iām torn between being ok and feeling sad and guilty. Iād planned my calories out today so that later tonight I could share a small snack with my husband. But I gave that up for a dang donut. Donāt get me wrong, it tasted great, but still
My husband reassured me that itās ok. Weāre going to start getting me back to 1200 cals a day anyway but still. He said we could go on a walk tonight and I could do some sprints to raise my heart rate and burn a tiny bit more so I feel a little better
Ugh yāall
[Discussion] DAE get really competitive with their girlfriend/boyfriend
/u/softdyke
Created: Fri Aug 24 10:53:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99z37k/dae_get_really_competitive_with_their/
---
My girlfriend and I are the same height and she weighs a couple of pounds more than me, she has a history of EDs and is the heaviest she has been as an adult but I have lost around 40lbs in the year we have been together and like... I know me losing weight is making her feel bad but I still want to be way smaller than her
I know this is fucked but if I could get to her lowest weight I would be stoked
We donāt talk about it but I know sheās worried about me and has caught on to my bullshit reasons to not eat etc
[Rant/Rave] Iām so sad
/u/vZudikas [5ā8 | CW š³ | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 10:04:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99yoco/im_so_sad/
---
All I wanted was a fucking pickle and I canāt open the jar. I planned on eating this pickle and have been thinking about it since yesterday. My day kind of feels ruined and I want to cry tbh
[Goal] It Is All Worth It
/u/killingtiimee
Created: Fri Aug 24 10:01:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99yn8f/it_is_all_worth_it/
---
The guy I have been seeing invited me to spend the night last night (so naturally I fasted for three days lmao). As things were unfolding, he tells me Iām the skinniest girl heās been with. And wraps his one hand around my thigh telling me how tiny I am.
Victory.
Low Cal Alcohol!!!
/u/smolpriincess
Created: Fri Aug 24 09:47:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99yitz/low_cal_alcohol/
---
do you love getting drunk but are worried about the calories?! well look no further! White claws are only 110 calories! 2 carbs! 4 grams of sugar! and Truly has 100 calories, 2 carbs and 1 sugar! I am a happy girl. I for one would much rather use my daily calories to get drunk than eat food!
(sorry if this has been talked about before!)
[Discussion] How to stay motivated on high restriction?
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Fri Aug 24 09:44:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99yi3c/how_to_stay_motivated_on_high_restriction/
---
I have been eating 1200, think I'm losing but I've been bouncing around 153-152 for 6 days. I assume it's part just my body readjusting to more food and whatever. But it's hard believing that I truly am in a deficit, I'm suppose to be losing 1.5 pounds or so a week on 1200.
But again I had a almost 2 week plateau on 800 calories so maybe my body is just stubborn sometimes I dunno. Trying to wait it out to see it's frustrating though
[Help] Needed: Fasting buddy for today!
/u/Sockapoodledoo [5'4 | CW: 125 | GW: 115 | 25F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 09:41:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99yh8f/needed_fasting_buddy_for_today/
---
[removed]
Hurricane Lane making it difficult to binge...
/u/slaywacher [5'9" | CW:115 | 23F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 09:33:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99yehu/hurricane_lane_making_it_difficult_to_binge/
---
https://i.redd.it/12eb4kln82i11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I hate my muscles (but need them for burning calories).
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1 | CW 189 |BMI 25 | WL -181 | M]
Created: Fri Aug 24 09:32:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99yebs/i_hate_my_muscles_but_need_them_for_burning/
---
So I'm not like jacked or anything, but I am fairly muscular and I hate it. I like that the muscles burn more calories and I'm hoping that when I stop restricting they will help me be able to eat a reasonable amount of calories. But I just think they make me look super big and fat. As a guy I know this is silly, but I can't help it. I just look in the mirror and it looks awful.
food makes me nauseous
/u/alliwantisskinny [5'7 | 113 | 17.7 | -10 | female]
Created: Fri Aug 24 09:25:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99yc0a/food_makes_me_nauseous/
---
Looking at food, serving food, making food, eating food, seeing other people eat. it all makes me feel so sick to my stomach and I don't know why. Anyone else like this?
My Story So Far
/u/Could_You_Not [5'7" | CW: 141 | GW: <90 | 20F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 09:17:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99y9rx/my_story_so_far/
---
Alright, so I've been lurking here for a while, but now I wanna get into the discord so it looks like I'm gonna have to start posting lol. So here's an 'introduction post.'
I've struggled with disordered eating habits since I was probably in the eighth grade. It started with restriction only - eat less than 1000 calories per day, log everything meticulously, lose weight. At the time I never believed I could have an eating disorder, because I wasn't 'sick enough,' but looking back that's definitely where it started. I kind of backed off on logging my intake in high school, but I still never ate lunch and worried a lot about my weight.
Entering college is where things started to get bad. Binging got added to the equation. I had overeaten plenty of times, but it had never been such an emotional thing. But suddenly, my emotional eating was eclipsing my usual restricting, and I started gaining weight. Over time, this evolved into phases where I would low restrict for a while, lose a bunch of weight, then enter a binge phase and gain it all back.
Fast forward to now, and I'm at my highest weight ever, just praying that this current binge phase will end soon so that I can get thin again.
Sometimes I wonder what my roommates must think š got my safe foods up in my room
/u/Imaginary_Air
Created: Fri Aug 24 09:10:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99y7f5/sometimes_i_wonder_what_my_roommates_must_think/
---
https://imgur.com/vJVcocG
[Rant/Rave] Finally Back Under 130!!!
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8" | CW: 128.2 & BMI: 19.5 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 09:10:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99y7d5/finally_back_under_130/
---
Iām finally under 130 again and I feel amazing!! 3.5 months ago I reached my lowest weight of 119 however these last few months have been emotionally draining and I became stuck in a cycle of b/p and restrict and stayed around 132-134. Anything could set off a binge, and I would try to control my extreme highs and lows through a binge. I had a breakthrough after I tried on my favorite jeans and they barely fit so Iāve been able to restrict successfully (after limiting my food choices even more by going gluten free for āhealthā) these past few days and I am just SO happy! I never thought I would get out of this low 130s again
It sucks being enabled by friends
/u/URETHRAL_DIARRHEA [5' 11" | CW:144 | M]
Created: Fri Aug 24 08:59:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99y49k/it_sucks_being_enabled_by_friends/
---
Just discovered this subreddit last night. I've struggled with binge eating to fill an emotional void since I was a preteen but didn't realize that my eating was disordered until recently.
I've been really solid with 21:3/22:2 intermittent fasting the last couple months but I've been really depressed lately and have started having binge episodes again. I closed my eating window at 10:30AM yesterday, then a friend came over around 5 and she wanted to order food. I tried resisting but then she asked for suggestions for a good place around and I remembered this dankass falafel place and I caved in. Eating that just made me hungry for more so we went and bought ice cream from the grocery store.
I was ashamed at this point but figured that I was done. But then my girlfriend came home at 9:30 with banh mi (Vietnamese tofu sandwich) from work and I caved in and ate half. Sometimes I just want to be a hermit so I can control my food intake entirely without dealing with temptations surrounding me. :/
Now I feel gross from yesterday but I have to eat more because otherwise I'll feel weak when I lift later tonight. Probably gonna fast on Sunday to make up for this week's transgressions. It took so much effort to lose all the weight (went from 172 to 128) and I'm trying to just gain 1lb a week now so it turns into muscle but days like yesterday terrify me, I don't want to be chubby again.
Former fat girl in actual euphoria
/u/graeciamagna
Created: Fri Aug 24 08:59:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99y495/former_fat_girl_in_actual_euphoria/
---
My boss at work keeps calling me by another girls name by accident. "I don't know how you can get them confused, she's literally half the size of her?" says my other boss... As a former fat girl I'm literally riding a high rn.
[Discussion] Anyone else here in recovery from drug/alcohol addiction AND an ED? Is there anyone else here on Suboxone?
/u/madeinny88 [5'8" | 122 | 18.6 | 29/Female]
Created: Fri Aug 24 08:33:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99xwn5/anyone_else_here_in_recovery_from_drugalcohol/
---
I am currently on Suboxone and will be getting off it in the very near future. Iām scared of my weight blowing up once I get off it because I know it helps suppress my appetite somewhat.
When I was in drug rehab I was also at the worst point of my bulimia, and nobody there understood, even though being addicted to drugs is very similar to having an active eating disorder. Still, it was like nobody there had ever struggled with an ED and they all looked at me like I was crazy for having bulimia. It was so isolating... it was then that I realized how bulimia isolated me from everyone else.
Anyway, Iām just curious if there is anyone else in the same boat as me (on Suboxone). Love you all!!!
By the way, I ate 3 helpings of my birthday cake last night (and a huge Greek dinner before the cake... and a shitload of my favorite chocolate from the specialty chocolate shop that I love). I ended up passing out at 10:30pm after getting my kids to bed; this morning the scale said I was 2-3 lbs heavier than I was yesterday morning. Iāll admit it, my first thoughts were āyou fat fucking piece of shit, you really have done it now havenāt you. Now this weight is going to take forever to come off and you have no one to blame but yourself.ā But Iām not going to punish myself for enjoying my birthday. Iām not going to hate myself. The weight WILL come off within a few days and Iām okay with that. Iām okay with myself, the way I am right now, bloatedness and all. Itās ok.
Cheat Day
/u/TouchedDistortion
Created: Fri Aug 24 08:33:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99xwlu/cheat_day/
---
I planned a "Cheat Day" today because my dad is taking me and my brother out for breakfast and dinner, I thought I would be more excited but I'm actually super scared? I hit a new lowest weight today (unintentionally) and it was super exciting and I don't want to ruin it :(
I'm going to a buffet tomorrow, and I have no reservations about it.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Fri Aug 24 08:12:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99xqmy/im_going_to_a_buffet_tomorrow_and_i_have_no/
---
That's a lie.
I have some reservations. But I'm going to eat a lot of food anyway. I'm not going to binge. I'm going to eat until I'm full. And I'm going to enjoy Diet Coke with my 700 plates of food. The day after, I will go to the gym, and I will resume eating normally.
But tomorrow, I'm going to a buffet.
Cake served at work
/u/ljodzn [5'3" | CW 156 | BMI 27 | Goal 120 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 08:08:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99xpiz/cake_served_at_work/
---
A coworker is celebrating their last day, they're serving cake. I am unusually hungry today and I thought about grabbing a piece, but I won't because I ate more than usual yesterday (by non-ED standards it was normal, by my standards it was too much) and I already have a plan for lunch; treating myself with a healthy shake.
Talking myself off the cake crave;
It will likely be a cheap white cake from walmart with cheap-tasting frosting, there might be some OJ. Cheap cake and cheap frosting aren't worth the calories. Also I don't want my first food of the day to be f\*cking *cake*.
Back to my tea and work projects.
Have any of you ever declined invitations to go out and eat because you don't want to eat; just to proceed to eat random shit at home?
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 08:07:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99xper/have_any_of_you_ever_declined_invitations_to_go/
---
[Rant/Rave] I keep eating
/u/dragaynite
Created: Fri Aug 24 08:01:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99xnko/i_keep_eating/
---
I did so well yesterday. My plan was to fast until Saturday evening. I hit 24 hours in, and was feeling good. But then it was 1/2 in the morning. I couldnāt sleep. So I wandered out into the kitchen and before I know it Iām crouched in front of the fridge stuffing my face with whatever I could. I said āno, thatās enoughā after three slices of melon, cherry tomatoes, and one uncooked probably old piece of broccoli.
But then the night went on and I still couldnāt sleep. So around 4 in the morning I found myself back in the kitchen devouring chips, bread and butter, nuts, chocolate.
This morning I said āno, I can start fresh todayā and proceeded to eat more nuts, a shit ton of chocolate chips, and two packs of strawberry pop tarts.
I donāt even like pop tarts :(
[Rant/Rave] Over a year b/p free!
/u/SoylentGAhhItsPpl
Created: Fri Aug 24 07:53:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99xlcp/over_a_year_bp_free/
---
Until today. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go have a shower so I can't tell if I'm crying or not
PDF
/u/carinahm9
Created: Fri Aug 24 07:51:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99xkw0/pdf/
---
Hi, does anyone have the pdf's of "overcoming binge eating" by Christopher, "Reclaiming yourself from binge eating" by Leora Fulvio, "Intuitive eating: a revolutionary program that works" by Evelyn Tribolt ot "the binge code"?
I'm struggling with bulimia/BE and I have already read "brain over binge" and "never binge again" and those books have helped me a lot but I would like more for having a complete recovery. If anyone has read any other books about binge eating that have worked for them, please let me know. I've been searching a lot for the pdf's but all I can find is getting the book paying, but I cannot buy them because a)I do not have credit card and b)I have no money
Thanks in advance
[Other] Do you have any weird or oddly specific goals?
/u/nirvanaandsilence
Created: Fri Aug 24 07:27:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99xej1/do_you_have_any_weird_or_oddly_specific_goals/
---
I have a baggy spaghetti strap shirt with stripes and a bow that I plan to wear to a gas station at midnight when I lose 20 lbs. I got the vision in a dream and it's just been stuck in my head ever since. I also want a flat chest so that my shirts look nice and smooth.
Why is restricting such an uphill battle?
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 258 | Goal: 250 | 40.9 | 30 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 07:02:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99x81q/why_is_restricting_such_an_uphill_battle/
---
Sometimes, I slip into it so easily. The thought of eating is repugnant, distant, I'm not hungry, and nothing needs to go in me. I feel small (though I'm far from) and it's like I can feel myself shrinking. I love those times.
then I have times like right fucking now where I'm obsessing about food, constantly. What I can make, exactly how many calories it will be. It takes effort, control, and I feel like I don't have any. It's times like this when I feel the fattest. I'm restricting and I think I'm just getting bigger. I look in the mirror and I look fatter, I feel heavier, and it just seems pointless.
[Discussion] DAE obsess over thin people you see in public, but also assume they have an ED?
/u/Thtcrazygiraffe
Created: Fri Aug 24 06:48:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99x4gw/dae_obsess_over_thin_people_you_see_in_public_but/
---
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! August 24, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 24 06:12:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99wvm8/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_august/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for August 24, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 24, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 24 06:12:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99wvkx/daily_food_diary_august_24_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 24, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
I gain weight unless I starve myself. [Rant]
/u/Bakedalaska1 [5'5.5" | 128.4 | GW:120]
Created: Fri Aug 24 05:53:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99wr8w/i_gain_weight_unless_i_starve_myself_rant/
---
Spend all week high restricting (900-1200 calories) and working out. Weight stays exactly the same. Binge one day (probably only 2000 calories total), gain 2lbs. Spend the next week just trying to get back down to the weight you were maintaining. Scream.
[Rant/Rave] Rave: havenāt eaten in 2 days!
/u/Thtcrazygiraffe
Created: Fri Aug 24 05:52:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99wr3q/rave_havent_eaten_in_2_days/
---
So for context, Iām 5ā11ā and my TDEE is around 1800. I weighed 145 (im a whale I know) on Wednesday morning and this morning I was 141! I know that only 1 pound of that is likely actual fat loss and I know thatās not a lot, but still Iām proud of myself for getting this far, and Iām SO excited to be in the 130s soon!
Iām visiting my best friend in LA in a week and weāre going to a really posh pool party so Iām going to try and not eat until then so I can be skinny and pretty like the other girls that will be there.
Iāll probably check in a few more times this week, Iām so thankful for this community because as much as I love them, I could never talk about this stuff with my IRL friends.
DAE eat things that make you feel sick in order to restrict better?
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Fri Aug 24 05:47:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99wpyt/dae_eat_things_that_make_you_feel_sick_in_order/
---
I used to drink apple cider vinegar in the morning (Because my queen Megan Fox told me so) thinking that it would actually make me slim. What really happen is that I would get stomachaches and I could restrict better because of it. Maybe thats Meganās secret strategy? š¤
I dont do it anymore, but id you do it what kind of things were you having to feel sick?
Staple. š If you love coconut I suggest you try this. 0 kcal and 0 sugar
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Fri Aug 24 05:15:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99wjag/staple_if_you_love_coconut_i_suggest_you_try_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/blv8ewoqy0i11.jpg
[Help] Scared shitless about getting treatment.
/u/Lunnaris [5ā | CW: 110ā2 | UGW: 99ā2 | 25F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 05:10:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99wi52/scared_shitless_about_getting_treatment/
---
Okay so Iāve been dealing with disordered eating all my life. But a couple years ago it morfed into an ED and a year ago things started to get bad. Real bad. My therapist didnāt give two shits until I contacted a group in my city specialized in EDs and they told me over email what to do (first, what to demand from my therapist since we have a free healthcare system and all that and she must take care of me and send me to te ED specialized medical centre even if that bitch thinks āeven if you donāt eat at all youāre too chubby to have an EDā) and second, go to weekly meetings. Like... a support group.
Iām scared because:
1. If I get treatment ILL GET FAT AND THEYLL MAKE ME EAT AND THOSE ARE MY BIGGEST FEARS
2. If I go to the meeting it means accepting is real. I couldnāt keep lying to myself.
3. If I go to the meetings there will be proper EDed girls and Iāll just look like a fat fuck being stupid.
4. Iām scared I might be making this up? Not for the attention because I donāt really talk about it and people donāt notice but idk.
Please help? Advice? Haiku?
[Goal] hit my āgoal weightā of 108
/u/neptunestatss
Created: Fri Aug 24 04:55:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99wf7j/hit_my_goal_weight_of_108/
---
my boyfriend wanted to do keto diet and iāve been looking for a way to starve myself and not make it look like iām back in my ED (i donāt want to get sent back to Renfrew). we started two weeks ago and I set my āgoal weightā to 108 (starting was 112). now I told him goal number two is 105 even though reality itās 99. although I do feel bad iām kind of sneaking around him to engage in my ED I am so happy to be losing weight again and have him almost supporting it
I supposedly consumed around 785 kcal and burned 1813 kcal yesterday. Still gained 0.4 kg. KILL ME.
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Fri Aug 24 04:47:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99wdof/i_supposedly_consumed_around_785_kcal_and_burned/
---
https://i.redd.it/pa4qt3jpt0i11.jpg
Binged last night. Need to wear a bikini tomorrow. Anyone else been there?
/u/MailingMaize [5'1 | CW: 111 | BMI 21.5 | GW: 95 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 03:52:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99w2rv/binged_last_night_need_to_wear_a_bikini_tomorrow/
---
I fucked up. Obviously I'm not eating today, and I'll run tomorrow, but anything else to make me feel better?
Noticed fat on my body after a week, weighed myself and itās true.
/u/Ekawa [Height 5'3 | CW 110 | -55 |F/22]
Created: Fri Aug 24 03:27:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99vyek/noticed_fat_on_my_body_after_a_week_weighed/
---
I gained 7 lb in a fucking week. Havenāt been as good about purging everything out during my 3ish b/p sessions every day and I wasnāt weighing myself but i noticed my thighs were bigger and i felt fat on my body again whereas I didnāt a week ago. Weighed myself and surely enough Iām 7 lb heavier and I want to self harm. I want to cry, all I want is to stop binging and go back to successfully restricting. I hate my friend for urging me to eat one day.... it flipped on the binge switch a couple weeks ago and I havenāt been able to stop since then.
[Tip] What are your tips for breaking a weight loss plateau?
/u/Tear-in-my-heart
Created: Fri Aug 24 03:14:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99vvzu/what_are_your_tips_for_breaking_a_weight_loss/
---
Hi everyone, this is my first post, Iāve lurked for a while and I have found this community so inclusive and supportive. :-)
I have been restricting heavily and fasting for months while exercising and at the start I saw immediate results, at one point I had dropped to 47kg which was so close to my target weight of 45kg at the time. I am back up to 53kg and am fluctuating in and around that weight for the last month and a bit. I am doing nothing different; on average I am taking in about 600 or below calories a day and doing exercise but I am losing no weight. I got so upset that I went on an almost three day fast and lost little to nothing and I feel like such a failure. I feel as though everyone else is losing weight so quickly and I am not. I know this will sound really wrong and awful but I feel like I am not losing enough weight to justify having my eating disorder, no one has ever noticed that I even lost weight. Does anyone else have this problem of plateauing or gaining back weight for no reason? Is it water weight or muscle weight or is there another reason that I am not seeing? I am doing my best to burn as many calories as I consume but it makes no sense because by that logic I should be losing weight right?
[Rant/Rave] I got my period back...
/u/dikeid
Created: Fri Aug 24 02:47:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99vrgn/i_got_my_period_back/
---
So I haven't had a period for the last 9 months and I've been really struggling to, you know, not die and somewhat 'recover' at least so I can function again
And today I finally got my period back!
I'm so conflicted between "yay recovery" and "this means I'm definitely fat again" but it's a small win (just gotta take it one day at a time)
Sorry I dont really have anywhere else I can say this and really need to get it off my chest haha
Birthday Bullshit
/u/Piggroin
Created: Fri Aug 24 01:39:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99vg05/birthday_bullshit/
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Hi? For some days in a row, I binged around 1,000 calories due to cravings and just pure stupidity... I'm back on track today, but my birthday is in 6 days (the 30th) and I'm worried that I'll just down like 10,000 calories. Just wondering if any of you have advice on avoiding food while also avoiding parent suspicion. Also, I'll be able to pick my own dinner, are there any meals I could recommend that would be low calorie without them knowing? Low calorie restaurants I could request instead? And, last, how about a low calorie replacement for cake or just a low calorie boxed cake mix?
Sorry, this is a lot, oh well. Thanks. :- )
Does anyone ever wish the "ANA" friend depicted as human in those cheesy films was real.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Fri Aug 24 01:11:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99vaxj/does_anyone_ever_wish_the_ana_friend_depicted_as/
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You guys know, it's always depicted as a second person etc. Where realistically we all know it is our own brain and disorder. But sometimes I go crazy and binge etc. I want that friend in my mind for real sometimes if that makes sense. Of course my mind is sooo fucked but I need like a helper not to binge lololol
​
Once in a while I wish I had that angry girl to say NO! don't even think about bingeing you are fat and disgusting . Instead of OMG fooooood I am starving eat all the things (hate myself the next day and right after).
​
It's late...hope this makes sense!!!
One week. Fuck.
/u/imgital [5'4 | too big | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 01:06:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99va3t/one_week_fuck/
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One week till my first camping trip. With a whole group of my bf's friends. And the girls love bikinis and pictures.
I'm nowhere near how I want to be looking. I don't want anyone to see my body. Oh god oh god oh god. Will be by far the largest one there. Two of the girls there super fit. One of the girls is so thin and such a trigger. And another is a girl who is so hot that she strictly only dates millionaires.
And I binged today, so thats a great step backwards! I'm fucked. Ugh why did I do this. I wish I could peel my fat off with a potato peeler.
god I really hope my period is on its way
/u/cortizonegnome [5'3" | 109 | 19.66 | GW 94 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 00:48:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99v6o3/god_i_really_hope_my_period_is_on_its_way/
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cuz im fat bro. I ate intuitively for like a week and put on six pounds. and its not coming off it seems it doesn't feel like water weight at all. my period can be irregular sometimes but it was supposed to come like two weeks ago wish and I really hope that all the fat thats on me is like pre-period bloating. cuz if not. a bitch gotta lose a lotttta weight. wasn't thin to begin with and now im a whale. to make matters worse im back at school so u know I drank about two days worth of calories tonight. tis only 2:47 am. the night is young. im off to get ice cream on waffles cuz I might as well commit to this downward spiral right. the floodgates have opened
[Intro] I'm back and worse than ever!
/u/AvailableBicycle [5'5" | cw132 | lw99 | gw108 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 00:26:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99v2oc/im_back_and_worse_than_ever/
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HELLO! This is a dumb introduction post, which I know no one really cares about as I used to frequent this sub and our discord under a different user a few months back. Shit consumed my life and I'm really riding out a fun new PTSD diagnoses so now I'm back here with a clean slate and am fat as fuck ready to pay some actual fucking attention to what I put in my body. Say hi if you see me around, I miss having karma. Love you crazy fucks.
[Help] What do you do when you canāt stop thinking about food?
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 115 | 17.95 | 14.2 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 24 00:18:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99v197/what_do_you_do_when_you_cant_stop_thinking_about/
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This is taking such a toll on me. Iāve tried distracting myself by doing all my homework, seeing friends, exercising, etc. Even though Iāve eaten like 100 more calories than usual today, and had lots of protein, water, and veggies, Iām stressed and feel sick and canāt stop thinking about crackers. How do you guys stop these thoughts?
I have food poisoning (I think), so Iām in lots of pain..
/u/butterscotch_puddin
Created: Fri Aug 24 00:12:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99v00i/i_have_food_poisoning_i_think_so_im_in_lots_of/
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But it makes me happy because I canāt eat and that means Iāll lose weight āŗļø
i don't know what to do
/u/highriskpatient
Created: Fri Aug 24 00:02:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99uy7c/i_dont_know_what_to_do/
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i dropped down to 89.7lbs (i'm a 5'5" male) at the beginning of last week and i can't gain it back. everything i do to lose and i gain, everything i do to gain and i lose.
i can't win.
i guess this is a rant of sorts, i just feel so defeated and i'm only up to 95.3 and i'm starting to feel like recovery is a joke.
So I figured out how to purge yesterday
/u/halfwayamused [5'2" | cw 109 | gw2 101 | 19F | šhalfwayamusedš]
Created: Thu Aug 23 23:50:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99uvzc/so_i_figured_out_how_to_purge_yesterday/
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And I B/P'd again today. Just now, actually.
For months I wanted to know 'the secret' to purging. Since I've been bingeing for far longer, it always seemed like the ticket out of the horrid post-binge regret and shame. I was always a little bit jealous of people who knew that 'secret', just how to use my fingers to activate the gag reflex so that my stomach would empty.
Well, I figured it out. Not by making myself gag (still don't know how to do that), but I guess I'm just very determined.
On the one hand, I finally got what I thought I wanted.
On the other...
What are some low calorie foods in your country?
/u/HonestRaspberry
Created: Thu Aug 23 23:16:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99upfu/what_are_some_low_calorie_foods_in_your_country/
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I seen low calorie bread and wish I have them in my country! In my country, there's the low cal seaweed snacks! Share some snacks in your country! Maybe we can even do a snack sharing thing overseas?
[Help] Fake eating
/u/createusernamehard
Created: Thu Aug 23 23:14:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99up0f/fake_eating/
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My parents are starting to realize Iām not eating so I basically eat in my room, like a few bites, bc I have to take medications that otherwise make my stomach hurt. Iāve just been flushing the rest down the toilet. Weāre about to go on vacation and Iām scared. How do I fake eat when Iām around my whole family and weāre eating out at restaurants the whole time?
Uncomfortable all the fucking time
/u/antediluvian5
Created: Thu Aug 23 23:11:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99uods/uncomfortable_all_the_fucking_time/
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Most of the time Iām restricting and the hunger pains are almost unbearable. Then when I eat I freak out because I canāt stand having food in my stomach. The feeling of being full (or even half full) is just so alien now. Most peopleās minds clear up when they eat because theyāre not āhangryā anymore, but I just get overwhelmed by anxiety about feeling fat.
So Iām always either uncomfortable because Iām staving, or because I feel guilty for having eaten anything. And I get bloated when I eat now which is just nasty and reinforces my fears. I usually purge right away and then Iām just super hungry again. Terrible cycle. Why am I so addicted to this? Iām just so used to it now.
What are your restricting staples?
/u/Paisleybabe
Created: Thu Aug 23 23:04:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99umvb/what_are_your_restricting_staples/
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​
When you know restricting all day is just going to end in a nighttime binge
/u/TheRochacha [5ā8ā | CW 118 | BMI 17.94 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 22:58:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ulpn/when_you_know_restricting_all_day_is_just_going/
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https://i.imgur.com/0IOSPP1.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Second psychologist appointment
/u/mittensmel
Created: Thu Aug 23 22:56:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ul6k/second_psychologist_appointment/
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I saw my psychologist for the second time today and she gave me some goals and some fact sheets.
I have to try and eat breakfast and lunch every day, make up a food plan for two weeks and start making time for my hobbies again.
That's fine.
But then she gave me the fact sheets which talk about how dieting and counting calories doesn't work and is unhealthy. I really don't agree with this. I'm a health science student and I've read so much about how to change body composition that these "facts" just don't seem real to me. I'm so mad about it.
They are literally telling people not to worry about getting fat in them.
I know I'm not being healthy and need more nutrients, but I'm not underweight and if I eat too many calories I'll get fat.
Gahhhh!!!
[Rant/Rave] Volume eating is making me anxious
/u/monday-mundane
Created: Thu Aug 23 22:32:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ug8m/volume_eating_is_making_me_anxious/
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I eat 400-550 calories a day. I don't freak out when I'm forced over by family or whatever (unless it's an outrageous amount or unnecessary), but lately I still feel like I'm eating too much.
I recently got a bunch of safe food (stuff I can eat in high volume for low calories- salad, strawberries, giant jar of low cal apple sauce, etc) which I'm just not used to having. While I feel less hungry, it makes me feel disgusting because I'm eating so much. Before I had maybe one or two foods I could eat in the house and they were always super light things like crackers. I would eat eight crackers for breakfast, eight for lunch and eat a small sandwhich for dinner, but with all this new safe food I had a massive smoothie, giant bowl of salad, a piece of toast with jam, and snacked on crackers..all of it came out to 415 calories through careful measurement. I keep going over it in my head and even drew out the amount in my notebook several times trying to visualize how much it was and it was just...too much. It looked like something a normal person would eat in a day.
Also I'm really anxious about my family eating my supplies or that some of it will go bad. It almost lead to a binge but luckily I was able to resist the stupid urge.
Idk what the point is. I'm sad I guess. It doesn't make any sense.
Does anyone else ever feel like this..?
[Help] Do y'all think eating <1000kcal every 12 hours will help me lose?
/u/unclehands [5'1 | 46kg | gw: 35kg | 19.6 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 22:07:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99uake/do_yall_think_eating_1000kcal_every_12_hours_will/
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I think I'm just tryna make myself feel better for fucking up my fast 12 hours in but I've started another one and am planning on eating again in another twelve hours. Idk if this counts as IF since I don't know much about it but does this sound like the type of diet that'll make me lose rather than maintain? ā¤ļø
[Other] So I took a progress photo.
/u/lyhndzie [5'6" | SW: 170 | CW: still too high | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 21:57:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99u879/so_i_took_a_progress_photo/
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I like taking progress photos/side by side comparisons of myself. Usually I take them of my stomach and thighs, but I decided to do one of my face. Looking at a picture of my current self and one of me two years ago, I was shocked. I actually look sick! The skin around my cheeks looks so tight that my eyes are poking out more, my cheekbones are visible, I have a natural contour to my face, and I have an almost alien-shaped head, made more visible by the fact that I recently cut most of my hair off. I went through all the emotions looking at it. Happy because I can actually see the face gains, scared because I donāt even look like the same person anymore, and upset because my face looks so small but my body is still flabby and fatty.
This post has absolutely no purpose and Iām not even sure why Iām posting it tbh. But you guys are the only ones I can share these thoughts with. ā¤ļø
Weekends are hard
/u/plaidbluejammies
Created: Thu Aug 23 21:55:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99u7r6/weekends_are_hard/
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https://i.redd.it/58iucsa9syh11.jpg
My boyfriend just said āI have an eating disorderā and pressured me to take a bite of burger he made. Why is this so hard. Iām not even underweight.
/u/beeeleave
Created: Thu Aug 23 21:53:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99u7b5/my_boyfriend_just_said_i_have_an_eating_disorder/
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[Other] im not letting myself cut my hair until im 100 lbs!!
/u/sugarpiIl [5ā5 ā¢ 177.5 ā¢ -25.1 lbs ā¢ F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 21:52:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99u70y/im_not_letting_myself_cut_my_hair_until_im_100_lbs/
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and no new clothes until im 150!!
i havent been eating but havent been weighing
its so strange im feelin this light again
ProED āRelated communitiesā... This made me more amused than it probably should have.
/u/EDthrowawaysorry [5ā7ā | 145lbs | 22.6 | -40 | F29]
Created: Thu Aug 23 21:50:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99u6gj/proed_related_communities_this_made_me_more/
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https://i.redd.it/2qkv20i4ryh11.jpg
My grandpa unintentionally triggered me
/u/tarynughhh
Created: Thu Aug 23 21:36:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99u3bm/my_grandpa_unintentionally_triggered_me/
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i was sitting on the couch with my grandparents and i was wearing a big sweatshirt but i bent over cause i dropped my phone, and my grandpa started counting my ribs with his finger (he always used to do this when i was littler) and i got super anxious that he was going to say something. (no one knows about my eating struggles) and my ribs are very much more noticeable now and iām extremely paranoid heāll tell my mom or something... iām so nervous
Nothing makes me happy anymore except for binging
/u/from_both_sides_now
Created: Thu Aug 23 21:11:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99txhf/nothing_makes_me_happy_anymore_except_for_binging/
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School and/or work for 10-12 hours a day, 7 days a week. I can't quit my jobs or I won't be able to make rent. I come home every day burned out, exhausted, looking for anything that'll make me feel even a tiny bit better. And it's fucking always food.
Everyone who cares about me lives over 1000 miles away from me-- my sister, my best friend, my boyfriend. They love me, but they're not here, and that's what I really need. My friends here are nice, but none of them know me, and I don't know if I trust any of them enough to really let my guard down.
Coming home from school or work always feels like I need to rest, to regain energy so I can tackle all the other things that need to be done. But I lie in bed for hours and never feel ready to get up and start working again. Every night brings the dread of waking up the next morning to start over again.
I'm trying to take steps in the right directions. I see a therapist. I take medication. I'm aware that I'm profoundly depressed, and that my binge eating is only making everything worse. But then I try to think of the next thing to be excited about, the next thing that I know will make me happy or bring me some level of comfort, and it's always food. I think about whatever stresses and anxieties my day holds, and somehow it only seems manageable if I have something at the end of the day to look forward to. So I stop at McDonalds or Chick-Fil-A or Little Caesar's or Dairy Queen, every time telling myself this is going to be the last time I do it. Sometimes I'm not even hungry-- I just know that the first taste of those fries or that milkshake is going to send dopamine spilling into my synapses and I'm going to forget, at least for the moment, that I'm barely surviving my day-to-day life.
I'm gaining weight. I don't hate my body, but I don't like the direction things are headed if I continue to binge eat this frequently. I restricted hard for a week recently, and dropped almost 10 pounds. But since then I've done nothing but give in to sadness and numbness and loneliness, and let my brain tell me, "Fuck it, who cares what you look like. I need this."
I just don't know how to make this stop. I don't know how to get something, anything else that makes me happy and that I can use to motivate me the same way food does.
"You sound like you're really enjoying your food."
/u/kpatable [5'9.5" | 134 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 20:47:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99trop/you_sound_like_youre_really_enjoying_your_food/
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My mom said that to me while i was eating dinner with my family tonight (which i rarely do, but i took a chance), right after she made mock chewing noises to poke fun at me, bc i am a loud chewer. She is kind of narcissistic and very mentally ill, and that comment cut deep coming from her. I know she had good intentions with it, but bc of how she regularly mistreated me over the past 5 years, i am NOT ok with her making those comments. Plus she made other comments about my eating throughout that meal, and like... *It's moments like these when i wish i could make myself throw up.* I want that dinner out of me. I feel nasty. I feel like I have her saliva inside me.
"You didn't lose that much weight though" "You're normal sized, you look healthy"
/u/Xelaalba [165cm | CW52.4kg | 19.2 | GW 50kg | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 20:47:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99trne/you_didnt_lose_that_much_weight_though_youre/
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:)))))))))))) tell me i lost weight :)))))) tell me my clothes look baggy :)))))))
I feel like i'm the only person noticing my weight loss and then that makes me panic because what if i DIDN'T lose it and i'm still just as fat as before and i'm just super full of myself, or imagining things or SOMETHING
Just venting here. I want people to notice, for my friend to say my legs look "childlike" again , to be smaller than my (skinny) boyfriend, to be SWIMMING in my clothes.
It's nearly 4am and I just finished working out lmao what is this life
​
​
This restriction feels different, kind of scared but kind of excited
/u/vomdemort [5'6" | CW: 167 | -15 lbs | GW: 110 | 24F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 20:33:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99to32/this_restriction_feels_different_kind_of_scared/
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I have been going through binging and restricting cycles for the last 10 years probably. I'll gain 40 pounds, lose it all, then gain it back again plus 5 more because I absolutely don't give a shit and keep eating and give up when the rest of my life is a trainwreck.
I started another restricting cycle (hopefully not just a cycle this time...) recently and it feels different. My thoughts seem a lot more... scary now. It used to be "I just want to be small enough for my curves to look good" and now it's more "I want my sweaters to look like their hanging off a coat hanger when I wear them" Earlier today I opened a honey packet from Popeyes for cooking but decided not to use it and surprised myself by throwing it out rather than just eating it straight. I'm proud of myself for throwing it away but also I had like 600 calories today and it was only 43 and that was really unusual for me so idk.
I feel like a failure a lot more now, but am actually hitting goals better than ever before. I feel like things are sticking differently this time.
I think I will definitely get to a low I never have before, but I also think I can feel the way I think really changing.
I'm not complaining though, idk what the goal of this post is. Just some thoughts I guess.
I'm not fat
/u/Equivalent_Blueberry
Created: Thu Aug 23 20:23:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99tlj5/im_not_fat/
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It's been years since I could say that. I'm still overweight, but I'm still losing, so whatever.
This probably sounds stupid or someshit, but it's so huge to me. I've never gone this long without binge eating, and every time I've tried to care about my weight before I've ended up either crash dieting or purging, and I HAVEN'T and it's been WEEKS and I'm just eating healthy portions of healthy food even though I feel like I'm going to starve to death every time I get bored or depressed and I just fight through it, or I EAT SOMETHING HEALTHY (I don't know about anyone else, but that's way harder than not eating for me).
I showed my belly to my friends and TWO seperate people in two seperate situations told me that they noticed I had stopped looking fat days ago, and I am just so freaking proud of myself.
I don't know, I want to scream from the roof, but that's probably not a good way to make new friends, so I decided to post it here instead.
Iām so nervous to go to Japan
/u/aworkinprogress_
Created: Thu Aug 23 20:01:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99tfwv/im_so_nervous_to_go_to_japan/
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Iām visiting my brother next June. And even though I SHOULD be at my UGW (bmi 16.8ish) by then, I still feel like Iām gonna be a fat whale. I went there last year at BMI 19-20ish and I felt so shitty the whole time just comparing myself to the gorgeous girls there. Doesnāt help that Iām like 4ā taller than the average Japanese woman so I just feel ... big. Wish me luck
I just killed my cat
/u/Bisexuwhale21
Created: Thu Aug 23 19:47:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99tccm/i_just_killed_my_cat/
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Idk what this post is about Ive had like 1000 calories worth of alcohol and nothing else today
I just keep crying and food makes me feel like I'm thinking about something other than my cat.
Earlier today I had to sign paper work to let my cat be put to sleep.
His name was Sam. He was an ugly, black cat. But he was th best cat I've ever owned. He was so sweet. He would just lay on my chest and purr.
His abdomen started swelling about a week ago ak I thought it was just him being constipated. I did everything I vould to save that fucking cat. Miralax. A fuckin enema. He wouldnt get better. So when we got to the vet theyn said he had cancer or heart failure or liver failure all of which would lead to his death.
So i signed the paper letting them kill my baby boy.
I'll loved that cat more than i loved myself.
Hello! I'm sad and addicted to rice
/u/mabver321 [5'1 | CW 143 | GW 108| F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 19:27:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99t72w/hello_im_sad_and_addicted_to_rice/
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I can never say no to anything that has rice in it. In the middle of a fast? Well its forgotten when rice is on the table. Does anyone else have a food like this
Iām so happy right now :)
/u/aworkinprogress_
Created: Thu Aug 23 19:25:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99t6l2/im_so_happy_right_now/
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So I got the insatiable urge to weigh myself today even though I try not to because a) if the number is higher than I expect I cry and emotional binge and b) if the number is lower than I expect I get lazy with restriction which causes me to binge
but against my better judgement I weighed myself and IM 117.5 lbs!!! Somehow!!! Thatās the lowest Iāve been since like March. And that was with jeans on and I just had a 12 oz latte. I forget how easy restricting is during the school year. 12.5 lbs until my UGW
[Help] Loud stomach help
/u/GingerWithSunscreen [5'4"| CW 125.8 | BMI 21.6 | GW 105 | 27F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 19:07:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99t1uw/loud_stomach_help/
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I work in an office so it's super embarrassing when my stomach starts growling. And my tummy is LOUD. It's all gurgly and so embarrasing. Any tips from fellow office workers?
[Other] TDEE accurate?
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 115 | 17.95 | 14.2 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 19:03:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99t0v3/tdee_accurate/
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I finally went online and entered my measurements into those TDEE calculators, and it says I need over a thousand calories a day to lose 2 lbs per week, but that just doesnāt seem right to me?? Iāve been eating around 500 a day and I feel like if I double that Iād gain weight super quickly. Is it accurate?
I feel so out of control right now
/u/TheGlitterMahdi [5'4" | 190lbs | 33.25 | -100lbs | Dude]
Created: Thu Aug 23 18:54:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99sykn/i_feel_so_out_of_control_right_now/
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My low weight was 167 lbs three weeks ago. I've been basically bed-ridden since then due to an injury and unable to sleep all the time, which is my normal method of keeping calories down when I'm injured.
The scale today was 183.5 and that's before I had dinner. I've had two giant binge days (like 2000 Cal's at least) this week because the number on the scale keeps going up, so I get discouraged and depressed and think "Well fuck it, I've already blown it today" & just eat out of boredom or feelings. Like my stomach HURTS right now from eating.
Two years ago I had almost exclusively been binging since I was 12 and I was at 300 lbs. For some reason my depressive cycle caused me to stop eating for days on end, and my messed up relationship with food flipped to restricting instead and I knew it was unhealthy but it felt so good physically and emotionally. I know I've really lost control, that it's unhealthy, that my eating issues are just another addictive process, but it was one that superficially made me feel good so I didn't care.
I was 17 lbs away from my first major goal and then I gained SIXTEEN POUNDS in THREE WEEKS and I'm lying here having a massive panic attack because I feel like I'm undoing everything and I'm just going to balloon back up and I'm so so so upset right now. It's so EASY to gain weight and it takes so much longer to lose it and I don't know what to do right now. I feel like there's no such thing as safe food anymore. I want to box up and/or throw away the majority of what I have so I'm not tempted to eat.
There is a part of me that realizes that feeling compelled to not eat ANYTHING is really unhealthy but there's a part of me that also feels like eating anything at all no matter how small is really unhealthy. I'm so upset right now. I can't believe how fat I've gotten and so quickly. I struggled so so so hard to lose that weight and it's going to come back, I know it. I ordered take out for the first time in a year tonight. I feel so sick of myself.
I'm whining and I'm sorry I just don't know how to deal with this. I need to get back to my low weight and start losing again and I'm so scared I've fucked it all up. I haven't been over 175 in months and now I'm heavier than I've been since 2017. I hate myself so much right now. I feel so disgusting and I wish there was someone in my life who I could share this with. I hope I'm not triggering anyone I just am so grossed out with myself and I have to get it out of my head.
uhhh i donāt know if this warrants its own post
/u/princeofspinach
Created: Thu Aug 23 18:40:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99sv8b/uhhh_i_dont_know_if_this_warrants_its_own_post/
---
i donāt want to talk to any of my friends or my boyfriend in meat space about this because i donāt want them to worry...iāve been reading posts on here for a few weeks and iāve done the same with other ED communities online for years and years
body image is fine, i donāt want to be skinny (iām not judging!!!) but i am trying to go from a decently-carried hourglass 145 to a slimmer 130 at 5ā6ā, so...still within standard bmi range
i love food, i donāt necessarily binge but i will overeat sometimes or have a hard time stopping if itās food i really like. poor self control, whatever, fine
iāve counted calories to lose 30 lbs before, 165-135, and now iām counting them again to get back down and i read /loseit and /1200isplenty
and uh.....ok i guess the entire point of this post is that iāve been careful to maintain mentally healthy habits but! BUT for the first time in my entire life.....i was just eating the smartpop popcorn while facetiming my brother and i ate more than i meant to because i wasnāt paying attention and i felt uncomfortably full so i hung up the phone and went to the toilet and made myself throw it up?? then flushed, went to the sink, mouthwashed, cleaned my face, and left and in my head i was like āis that really so bad to do every once in a while? will my teeth rot if i mouthwash right after? once a month would be ok right?ā
what is happening, this is so bizarre to me because iāve only been an outsider and i donāt get how it happened so casually
[Help] If I eat 1000 calories in one day will I gain weight
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Thu Aug 23 18:25:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99srhm/if_i_eat_1000_calories_in_one_day_will_i_gain/
---
Iāve been eating half of that this week. But this weekend Iāll be with my boyfriend and will probably eat 800 calories in one day. And the next day will be a lot too. Will allcmy work this week go to shit?
[Rant/Rave] I got called willowy today.
/u/losemore [5'10" | 141b | 20.4 | -39lb | 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 18:24:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99sr78/i_got_called_willowy_today/
---
Iām currently stuck in a binge / lax cycle for the past week, my period is due any day now so Iām bloated as fuck and have been maintaining.. BUUUT one of my coworkers called me willowy!!!!!!!! I normally hate people commenting on my body, but this particular comment made me feel all the warm fuzzies as I hate being the height I am as I feel like it makes me look so large and out of place.
Yeah. Not much rhyme nor reason to this post, but who else was I going to share this with?
ProTip for those living on their own--Just don't keep food in your apartment
/u/thebarryalien
Created: Thu Aug 23 18:12:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99snye/protip_for_those_living_on_their_ownjust_dont/
---
I'm technically at a healthy BMI but based on my frame I would like to lose more. It's an uphill battle at this point though, because I can see that my body is fighting it tooth and nail. My once barely existent appetite is suddenly increasing and often I have trouble sleeping for long without sleep aids. It's so so so so so frustrating. I want to tell my body, "yo, you still have a ton of fat reserves. USE IT GODDAMIT!" One thing I've discovered--despite what people say, active weight loss is way tougher on your body than simply maintenance.
​
Currently I deal with it by accepting potential slower weight loss. I give myself more maintenance days to prevent binging (though even maintenance makes me feel like I'm being too indulgent).
​
Anyway, here's a tip I've been following the last several days that have been a godsend to me:
​
\*During your active weight loss phase... Don't keep your food in your apartment. JUST DON'T. Don't bother. I know it's tempting to do it. Grocery shopping and stocking up and planning ahead on all the healthy meals you'll be eating, with a few treats thrown in, yay you're going to get slim AND eat healthy! You feel so in control!\*
​
That's what you think. 9 pm rolls around and...Nah. You are so not in control.
​
Of course you will sometimes be so hungry that you'll inevitably change out of your pajamas to make a trip to the convenience store or whatever, but creating a larger barrier before you can eat means that over the course of a week, you will still eat much less than you otherwise would.
​
At this point I only keep cauliflower rice, peas, protein shakes and non-calorie beverages in my apartment. For anything else that I want, I plan it and go out and get it each day.
IT's not a perfect system but it's made me feel much more free and less fixated on food.
[Other] Christian Bale diet day 1
/u/evian-x
Created: Thu Aug 23 17:51:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99sieo/christian_bale_diet_day_1/
---
Day 1
Waist: 31"
CW: 125 lbs
Plans: Going to the state fair, meaning there's a lot of deep fried everything. Ill have to create a plan so i eat minimal or none of the deep fried stuff. If i do eat more than I'm allowed, i don't doubt that walking around all day will burn it off. Assuming i walk for about 4 hours i can burn upwards of 1000 cal
Food log: 1 fuji apple (80), 1 packet of tuna (110)
Likely going to bring more apples to have at the fair, along with plenty of water
After going to the fair I did an estimation on how much i ate and came to about 354 cal. This puts me at a total of 544.
Exercise: Given that I walked faster than the rest of my group at abt 3mph and for a total of about 5 hours. Meaning I burned 1084 calories.
Overall I'm left at a net of -730, rather happy with this day, even if I ate more than I'd like.
(Man I'm slow at eating apples...)
[Other] Iāve found my new food-deterring hobby. Totally healthy, right? š
/u/rotting_the_crown
Created: Thu Aug 23 17:51:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99sids/ive_found_my_new_fooddeterring_hobby_totally/
---
https://i.redd.it/9a1o0iomkxh11.jpg
[Help] Mystery bruises because of eating habits?
/u/The_Immortal_Unicorn [167cm | cw: 62kg | gw: 52kg | 17f]
Created: Thu Aug 23 17:25:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99sbpa/mystery_bruises_because_of_eating_habits/
---
I'm covered in bruises. When I say covered, I mean *covered*. On my legs alone there are nearly 30 of them, some of them are huge, and I can't explain how most of them got there. I don't eat much, but also not very little, I think most days it's somewhere between 1000 and 1400 cals (compared to the 0-500 a day I ate two months ago, this isn't little) Could there be some sort of vitamin I'm missing or something I don't eat but should be eating that is causing this? I really wouldn't know another explanation but the bruises are getting out of hand and I wanna know if I should be a little worried about this.
Just a nice daily reminder I have for myself :ā)
/u/lilllyyy
Created: Thu Aug 23 17:18:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99s9mw/just_a_nice_daily_reminder_i_have_for_myself/
---
https://i.redd.it/fy3p4fzpexh11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Clothing
/u/kahmanee
Created: Thu Aug 23 17:11:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99s7qa/clothing/
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Itās so crazy to me that I lost like 80 pounds in the past year and Iām currently 182lbs at 6ā2 so that should be a normal weight for a guy my height. when I go shopping itās still weird that Iām buying some shirts in XL, why am I not a medium lmao ugh. I donāt have problems with pants so thatās nice. I know I shouldnāt base things off of clothing because all sizes are different at different stores but I canāt help but be annoyed and a little sad that Iām still wearing shirts in size āExtraā.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like Iām about to cry.
/u/chained_love
Created: Thu Aug 23 17:07:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99s6mk/i_feel_like_im_about_to_cry/
---
I was doing so good these past five days, I was under 550 calories every single day, and with the calories burned I was left at 300 ish calories. I was really pleased with myself. Today I ate more than I wanted to. Iāve eaten 901 calories worth, with the calories burned so far Iām at 783 calories (I use the Lose it! app). I am fucking disgusted with myself. I just *had* to binge right now. I am pretty mad at myself.
[Goal] I still have such a long way to go, but my gap is finally making an appearance.
/u/Gloomy_Shroomy
Created: Thu Aug 23 17:03:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99s5kv/i_still_have_such_a_long_way_to_go_but_my_gap_is/
---
https://i.redd.it/up5bzve1cxh11.jpg
What to do with this salad? I got 2 on sale and don't want to just have it as a cold salad. I'm so uncreative š Description say it has "Mixed Leaves (Endive, Iceberg Lettuce, Lollo Rosso), Piccolo Tomatoes, Cabbage, Carrot, Cucumber, Sweetcorn"
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7 | 27F |SW:247|CW:196| -51 | GW:140]
Created: Thu Aug 23 16:58:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99s3tn/what_to_do_with_this_salad_i_got_2_on_sale_and/
---
https://imgur.com/xN7RWWw
waddle down the aisle....
/u/littlejanedoe- [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Aug 23 16:40:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99rzip/waddle_down_the_aisle/
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I am getting married in 28 days. I just got my engagement photos back and i look huge! My goal was to be down 10lbs from where i am now before the wedding and I'm just so incredibly sad.. I feel so defeated. All i wanted was to be a delicate, thin, beautiful bride. I cant think of anything else to do. I have been in a bad purging cycle for a while now, fasting 16-18hrs daily, and started counting calories... how much farther to rock bottom do i need to be.
Excuses for using a food scale?
/u/littlestpeach [5'7 | 118? | 20F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 16:35:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ry4x/excuses_for_using_a_food_scale/
---
Hi everyone! I'm in my third year of college and this is the first time I've ever had roommates. I just started living with them a couple of days ago and they seem really nice, but I'm paranoid about them thinking I'm "weird" with my food and eating and everything. I eat pretty much the exact same dinner every night and I don't think they'd think that's weird, but I'm worried about weighing my food using my food scale.
​
What's a good excuse/reason as to why I'd weigh out my greek yogurt/PB2/oatmeal/chicken/cheese/etc? One of my roommates used to have an eating disorder so I'm worried she'll notice some of my "eating disorder giveaways" like weighing out food, only eating with small spoons, only eating low-calorie food, etc.
[Rant/Rave] Insatiable
/u/coffeecreamer06
Created: Thu Aug 23 16:31:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99rx59/insatiable/
---
This Netflix original series is a must see. Love it so much because it emphasises the difference in how drastically society treats two types of people; thin and not so thin. I take motivation from this but this show can be triggering to some. I recommend with caution .
[Discussion] DAE not allow themselves nice things for their appearance (ie. manicures, etc) until they reach their goals?
/u/TrudyDouse
Created: Thu Aug 23 16:20:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ru19/dae_not_allow_themselves_nice_things_for_their/
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And if you do what are some things you wont allow? I'm interested to know as I refuse to put much effort into how I look or nice clothes until I'm not a toad person and wonder if others feel the same.
[Intro] I donāt feel like I belong here, but I know I do.
/u/wispybubble [5'10 | 156 | 22.38 | -24lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 15:50:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99rldo/i_dont_feel_like_i_belong_here_but_i_know_i_do/
---
Iāve never had a good relationship with food. Picky and thin as could be as a child, nearing obese from binging during stress as a tween. This past winter I was a mess.
Long story short, everything in life fucking sucked. Iāve gone on binge cycles in the past, but this time I went the opposite direction, not eating enough. I alternated between 500-800 calorie days to 1200 to 3000. But it was fine. I was on a 1200isplenty journey to lose those 10lbs making me overweight right?
Almost everyone on that sub says itās fine to eat under if you plan on eating more other days, and I believed them. I genuinely believed making half a pack of ramen noodles and adding extra water to increase the broth to drink wasnāt disordered eating. Or that drinking iced coffee for lunch was normal. Or eating 5 doritos for a snack was okay.
I began resenting my skinny friend and wanting to get thinner so they feel that insecurity(even though theyāre a great person and donāt deserve that). Whenever I had a fight with my boyfriend or mom, Iād go 500 calories over and āfix itā by fasting until a small dinner the next day. I spent hours looking at thinspo or progress pictures or staring at myself in the mirror. I canāt afford a scale so I started going to ones in the pharmacy near daily.
I still canāt convince myself Iām not a poser or a fake. I know, logically I am disordered with eating. I know this isnāt healthy. But I donāt feel unhealthy. I feel like I shouldāve lost more weight if I was truly disordered.
[Rant/Rave] "Go buy some fries"
/u/michellenemangepas
Created: Thu Aug 23 15:50:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99rlb1/go_buy_some_fries/
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I was bussing to a friend's place when I started feeling lightheaded, shortness of breath, kind of blurry vision, etc.
I texted my friend that that was happening and that I stopped at a mall to go sit down and relax a bit (thought it was anxiety). They googled my symptoms and figured out it was something to do with low blood pressure and that I needed like salt, water, and/or food.
They told me to "go buy fries".
Like bitch.
You know I'm restricting.
You know I planned all of my intake for today.
You know it does not include random 700cals of freaking fries.
Ugh.
Anyway I had rice cakes and water and I felt better. But like damn. Don't do me like that.
Why the FUCK are even the HEALTHY / weight loss snacks so high in calories???
/u/littledeadkitty
Created: Thu Aug 23 15:11:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ra3d/why_the_fuck_are_even_the_healthy_weight_loss/
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I was going thru the grocery store earlier and I wanted to get something better than the usual stuff. They got different flavors of rice cakes but they're.. 400-600 calories. BRUH. HOW?? 6 rice cakes w a lil yogurt layer on it being 550. 150 calories per almond cookie and branded as WEIGHT LOSS. HOW BITCH!!! Then you got 480 for 3 tiny sesame bars and 1000 for 300g of veggie chips. Why is there not a low cal section omg
[Help] My thighs are massive
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Thu Aug 23 14:54:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99r4x9/my_thighs_are_massive/
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Iāve probably bitched about them before, but anyways I was just looking at them. Iām 65ā and weigh 116 pounds and my stomach gets flatter but my thighs donāt get smaller. Iāve been restricting and purging and am down 3 pounds this week. Which is great. Iām hoping tomorrow Iāll be 115. And then 110. Then 105 and Iāll have my small legs.
[Rant/Rave] Just wanna be one of those gorgeous skinny career girls š©
/u/trappedinaclub
Created: Thu Aug 23 14:43:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99r1el/just_wanna_be_one_of_those_gorgeous_skinny_career/
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Ugh I just want to be skinny and wear like really cute/classy/businessy clothes and have a real person job and be super smart and just have my shit together and be someone that everyone is jealous of because I have my shit together and am really confident in myself
But Iām over here on my couch watching twin peaks getting fatter by the second
[Discussion] does anyone here use a fitness tracker?
/u/lightningmcqueef69 [5'5" | CW 126.0 | GW 95 | NB | 18 | š: lightningmcqueef69]
Created: Thu Aug 23 14:33:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99qyds/does_anyone_here_use_a_fitness_tracker/
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I would like to invest in one but I'm scared of it being inaccurate.
Right now I'm eyeing the Motiv ring as it's pretty low-profile
[Rant/Rave] How does the scale go up 4lbs in 2 days....kill me....hereās to finding if WW is real!!!!
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Thu Aug 23 14:31:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99qxrv/how_does_the_scale_go_up_4lbs_in_2_dayskill/
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Had two days of binging because they were bad bad days and I love to hate myself šš.
Neither was over 3,000 calories and Iād been restricting. In two days I went from 99.8 to 104. I want to cry and take a good ole slice of fat off.
Is it Water weight and just the food or am I fat now?
Guess Iāll lax....fml
[Rant/Rave] Beginning to think I'm not sick
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5 ft 4|118lb|GW: 110|20.20|Not Enough|Nonbinary]
Created: Thu Aug 23 14:26:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99qwgk/beginning_to_think_im_not_sick/
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I'm drinking so this might have lots of typos and might not make sense sorru about that. I've been diagnosed with an eating disorder (letter literally says eating disorder) but I've been hovering at 118-120lb for ages and I'm eating a 'normal' (read binge eating) amount for the past two weeks so I'm not losing, I feel so fake. Like I've never been underweight, I feel like I'm not sick, yeah my hair's falling out again but I'm fucking 118-120lb so I'm not underweight, I feel fake cause I can't lose the fucking weight. I have no self control, I restrict in the day but as soon as I'm home I fucking eat like a pig. I couldn't even successfully restrict for the 6 days my girlfriend was away, how pathetic is that?
I'm cold all the time but I'm not underweight so it's gotta be poor circulation. I'm sad, I feel huge, I'm terrified about my last year at uni and that I'm gonna fail. I have one thing I can control (eating) and I can't even fucking do that.
Tl;dr: I'm probably not sick. Probably faking. Never been underweight, am sad and drinking. Pls send hugs
[Rant/Rave] Iām on my period and Iām sick
/u/speedayyyy
Created: Thu Aug 23 14:25:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99qw6d/im_on_my_period_and_im_sick/
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So I canāt exercise because itās too hard to breathe rn. Iāve been a couch potato for the last two days and Iām bloated the fuck up!! Plus Iām weighing 5 pounds heavier despite the fact that I havenāt really been eating? Fuck periods. And fuck being sick!! I wish I could at least have the stomach flu so I could lose more weight lol
Thought I was on this subreddit when I scrolled by this
/u/augenzeugen
Created: Thu Aug 23 14:14:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99qsm8/thought_i_was_on_this_subreddit_when_i_scrolled/
---
https://i.redd.it/e1cfi4sthwh11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Purged 3 times today...
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Thu Aug 23 14:03:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99qpfs/purged_3_times_today/
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Feel like a failure. Hit my LW and just fucked it up bc Iām stupid and impulsive. Didnāt finish any of the binge food and threw the rest away but I bought enough that I stuffed myself and threw it up 3 times ugh and itās only 4pm. Iām gonna go to the gym and try and burn some of it off but does anyone know how much damage this will do? Like 5 pounds?? Is that crazy? 1 pound?
[Goal] Going for a 48h fast
/u/arteww [180 cm | CW 61 kg | BMI 18,7 | -9kg | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 14:01:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99qot3/going_for_a_48h_fast/
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I'm currently in 32,5 hours and going to sleep now. I work in a place where there's a cafe counter almost right beside my work station so at times it's really hard to resist but I've drank coffee and Pepsi Max and want to survive most of the day tomorrow as well.
I feel quite good at the moment. Earlier there was some dizziness but it went away when I sucked into some sea salt. I think I can do this. I'm just afraid what will happen when I have to eat again...
Having a really hard time taking my meds
/u/runningonempty94 [5'5" | 146 | 24.6 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 13:58:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99qnub/having_a_really_hard_time_taking_my_meds/
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I'm on loads of anti-depressants and over the past week or two it's just gotten REALLY hard for me to take them. I don't really know why. Maybe I'm tired of feeling neutral and want to embrace my depression or something... idk. Causing a lot of conflict w my friends which isn't great.
Am I crazy or does this happen to other people?
Why tf is asking for simple things so hard
/u/Anxious_spock72 [5'5| 127.6 | 21.2 | -20.4 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 13:46:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99qk9c/why_tf_is_asking_for_simple_things_so_hard/
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So at my job, I'm in a position where I get free food. While I don't get anything very often, it's relatively healthy, within my calorie limits, and kinda pricey otherwise. But today I really really wanted lunch. The thing is I have to ask a manager to ring it in for me so they can discount it. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was at war with myself for 2 fucking hours about it. And I just wanted fucking lunch, but no I couldn't make myself ask. Idk am I ashamed of basic needs? The manager is super nice and wouldn't think anything of it. I did finally ask and was super embarrassed about it. Even more embarrassing to have people see me eat it. Like, wtf. Im normally pretty outspoken and have no problems asking for anything else.
I feel lied to.
/u/catsrule-humansdrool [5'5 | CW 153.8 | -57.2 lbs | 25.6 BMI | 23F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 13:46:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99qk80/i_feel_lied_to/
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With only five cans of various flavors of LaCroix left in my refrigerator, it was time to venture out into the world to restock my wares. Browsing the carbonated beverages, I glance down at the wide shelves filled with LaCroix, but nothing piques my interest.
Today, I decide to be adventurous. To do something I've never done before. I'm going to get Diet Coke. I felt that this sub had enlightened me to the wondrous marvel that is the new Diet Coke varieties. Ginger Lime, Twisted Mango, and what's this? Feisty Cherry? A fitting flavor for a feisty female. I take it home and tenderly display it with its other zero calorie counterparts.
Finally, about an hour later, it is time to sample the nectar of my labors. With a hiss and crack, I open a can, and take a sip. But what's this? At first I taste the sweet, sweet, cherry. But the aftertaste. This is not cherry at all. It's an attack!!! My tastebuds have been ambushed!!! It's spicy??? WHAT THE FUCK???
In all seriousness though, what the fuck Coke???? Who the fuck wants spicy soda? I was expecting something sweet and ONLY sweet! And the aftertaste is actually IMPOSSIBLE to get out of your mouth. It's awful. -7/10 would not buy again.
[Rant/Rave] Drunkies
/u/bbybluez
Created: Thu Aug 23 13:26:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99qe0y/drunkies/
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Iāve been drinking and had the bright idea to eat some soup. I freaked out and for the first time in a long time I made myself puke it up. It felt good and gross. But I feel better knowing I got most of it up. I donāt know why Iām posting this. I guess I just needed to rant. Sorry if I trigger people. Just felt like I had to document this.
[Rant/Rave] I think I spend too much time here
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Thu Aug 23 13:13:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99qa6v/i_think_i_spend_too_much_time_here/
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I'm constantly checking new posts, posting then checking if I've got replies to my posts, if I'm getting upvoted. Looking through the archive, searching topics.
I honestly think it's triggering me more because I'm constantly comparing myself and how much of a failure I am or I overthink things because somebody said xyz. Like support is good but I think it's hurting me in a way I dunno I generally have a love/hate thing with reddit in general.
[Other] Got a diagnosis ...
/u/ragamuffin_77 [5'5| 167| 28| 30| F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 13:09:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99q8tg/got_a_diagnosis/
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I went to an intake for an eating disorder clinic at the behest of my therapist. I knew my eating was messed up but Iāve never actually been diagnosed with anything (Iām 43 - old I know). I was kind of hoping that they wouldnāt tell me that I need to make some smarter choices yadda yadda but that I didnāt fit any actual disorder.
Whelp I was wrong. Despite me being overweight they sad I was anorexic with purging. I questioned the nurse because I am not a low BMI etc but she said I am on the anorexic spectrum.
So now I need to decide what to do. I still feel like I have 20 pounds to lose and will be in a healthy weight. (5ā5: 164 now. Goal 146)
I have two weeks to decide
[Rant/Rave] Got drunk and accidentally outed myself
/u/crippeledcorn
Created: Thu Aug 23 13:05:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99q7n2/got_drunk_and_accidentally_outed_myself/
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So last night, I got way too drunk and I kept saying, āOh itās probably because I havenāt eaten today.ā Then I proceeded to force myself to vomit in the KITCHEN SINK. I feel awful and I tried to brush it off by saying I was just ādoing it to make myself feel better.ā This was the first time Iāve ever done this, and Iām freaking out a little bit. I feel like everyone is really annoyed with me right now.
[Discussion] does anyone else hate their height?
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 107|16.7|UGW: 103|F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 12:50:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99q30a/does_anyone_else_hate_their_height/
---
5'7" is not particularly tall but oof i wish i was shorter. i want to feel small and i want to be able to be thrown around or picked up easily but nah, i'm too tall for that. even if i'm super stick thin i'll never be 'tiny' and it makes me super sad :( if i were shorter i could have prettier numbers and not die lol. i'd kill to be 80 pounds or have a 22 inch waist but that's super unsafe for someone my height and even at my UGW i want to function a little bit. idk what the point of this was but i wish i could shrink myself down a bit
[Discussion] Body dysmorphia is weird
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 12:46:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99q1m3/body_dysmorphia_is_weird/
---
Iām the smallest person at my work by a pretty large margin (not because Iām particularly small, but everyone else is on the larger side), but thereās this one woman who we work with occasionally who seems so small to me. Today I did the super ED thing of trying to get close to her so I could compare, and it turns out that weāre a very similar size right down to our heights. But when I look at her she seems so little and when I look at me I seem so huge... itās especially strange because I see bigger people and think that I look exactly their size as well, but then when I get closer to them I realize Iām not. I just have no idea how I look, I guess.
Please help me
/u/edgyhorcsog
Created: Thu Aug 23 12:09:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99pq3e/please_help_me/
---
So a year ago I started to restrict and fast and I lost like 20lbs(10kgs). Then I grew and gained so I am at the same BMI.
I recovered or at least tried to do it and I was doing fine. Ate enough food, didn't gain or lose more than 2lbs.
But I'm restricting again, and fasting. Some days I feel like, I should lose like 40lbs more, and some days I feel like I don't have an ED. Feel like thinpsos are gross and I only need to lose like 5lbs and tone my thighs and stomach.
What should I do? Should I try to recover again? Or I will regret it tomorrow?
peach?
/u/thatmujigae
Created: Thu Aug 23 12:07:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99pppq/peach/
---
hey! I see y'all talking about peach pretty often and I've downloaded it but I don't really know how to use it or who to follow/send friend requests to? pls help jshsksj
[Help] My friends wanna go to Cheesecake Factory
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 119 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Thu Aug 23 11:59:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99pmy2/my_friends_wanna_go_to_cheesecake_factory/
---
Everything there is so high calorie. What am I supposed to do. And the next day Iām sleeping over with my bf and thag more fast food calories. All of my work this week is down the toilet. Whag should I do im stressed.
[Rant/Rave] Coffe flavour substitute!
/u/itszwee
Created: Thu Aug 23 11:48:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99pjq4/coffe_flavour_substitute/
---
So because Iāve been living exclusively off black coffee during the day lately (Iāve been doing really well on OMAD at dinner), sometimes I get bored of it, or hungry for something else. I donāt want to add sweetener or flavour to a coffee because artificial sweeteners are processed the same as sugar by the body (I know it sucks press F). So today at work (we get unlimited coffee and tea within reason), I decided to steep a bag of berry herbal tea in my coffee, and YOU GUYS. GAME. CHANGER. The smell of a tea thatās complementary to coffee is heavenly and shut down my cravings for the rest of the morning. If youāve never tried it, itās worth a shot (haha espresso shot).
I know this sounds extremely 1200isjerky but I genuinely like it.
Triggered by work safety videos...
/u/PM_ME_BrusselSprouts [5'3" | CW: 165 | BMI: 30.0 | 33, F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 11:27:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99pd9m/triggered_by_work_safety_videos/
---
Isn't it funny how the smallest thing can set you off? Well I was doing a 'back safety' video today for work and it shows someone stepping on a scale and it goes to '140' lbs, then talks about how 10 lbs of extra weight puts 250 lbs of stress on your lower back (or some shit). Then it shows the generic person stepping on the scale and the scale reads '100' lbs cause the cartoon person lost the weight.
Fml. I wish I was 140 lbs, let alone 100! Encouraged me to have a Diet Pepsi for lunch, now I'm thinking of skipping dinner with my aunt...
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend said something that hurt me.
/u/backbysix
Created: Thu Aug 23 11:15:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99p9kq/my_boyfriend_said_something_that_hurt_me/
---
god, iāve been so arrogant. i would read everyoneās posts about the shitty things their (usually male) significant other said, and i always thought mine was better than that.
so he was talking about how i was breakable (this is not a threat, we were just flirting, weāre super kinky) and then long story short he starts talking about how his friendās sister is also breakable, especially because sheās ā90 pounds soaking wet.ā
he always says iām perfect the way i am, but i KNEW he would like me better skinny. fuck.
iām never eating again.
Relapse haul
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113]
Created: Thu Aug 23 10:56:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99p37d/relapse_haul/
---
https://i.redd.it/43cufnviivh11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I finally read winter girls
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 23 10:53:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99p2bx/i_finally_read_winter_girls/
---
I guess itās sad that my only thought was that Iāve been eating less than her :(
[Rant/Rave] This shit never stops does it
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 115 | F | š½]
Created: Thu Aug 23 10:22:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99osqu/this_shit_never_stops_does_it/
---
Pretended to be recovered by going super ortho and putting on a(fairly impressive, if I do say so myself) amount of muscle but I just graduated college and moved across the country and I'm stressed because I have a billion job interviews and one of my stupid friends triggered me really hard and now I'm back in restriction mode!! Fuckin life. Commiserate with me
[Rant/Rave] Just need to talk to someone
/u/arteww [180 cm | CW 61 kg | BMI 18,7 | -9kg | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 10:04:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99onb1/just_need_to_talk_to_someone/
---
I was doing pretty okay last week and even on Monday! I even talked to my sister on the phone and said I'd been eating just fine. I baked a vegan brownie thing-y on Monday as well, and didn't feel guilty or binge-eat the whole cake. I had such a good day on Monday.
Then I went to work on Tuesday, drank a big cup of coffee which my stomach suddenly didn't like and bang, there it was. "Now your stomach is empty anyway, you shouldn't eat anything." So I didn't eat. I had a long day at work that day which also included some hiking so I wasn't home very early. And as it was already "so late", I thought I shouldn't eat anything that day anymore. So I didn't eat, just drank like a litre of Pepsi Max and some tea.
On Wednesday I finally ate a sandwich and a slice of blueberry pie at work (it's so bad to work at a place where we serve food and snacks and everything every day... so hard to resist). I felt like I'd eaten a ton of food and had to take some laxatives as I was afraid the eating would start a binge. But somehow it didn't! I just went home and slept a couple of hours.
It's now almost 7pm on Thursday and I haven't eaten a thing today, just couple cups of coffee, 0,5 litre of Pepsi max and 0,5 litre of mineral water. I even managed to pass a group eat thing at work today, and nobody asked anything. I don't feel hungry and I don't want to eat. I know I have to eat at some point, but I don't know when that time will be. I now have a long-sleeved shirt on, a fleece, a pullover, two wollen pairs of socks and a purring cat on my lap. I'm drinking a cup of white tea and feeling pretty okay.
The thing is, I don't even wholly understand the situation. I don't want to lose any more weight because I'm almost underweight already and don't want to be freezing all the time (I've been underweight before and I know how it feels), but I think I'm so afraid of binging and gaining weight that I really really don't want to eat. It feels like everyone is talking about food and I've been reading menus from nearby restaurants and stuff like that. I don't want to be thinking about food, I want the whole concept of food to disappear. I'm also worried that I'm leaving for a holiday with my family on Saturday and there will be food. I know I won't be able to skip every meal as we'll be cooking and eating together all the time for the whole week. I don't know what I'll do. We'll be travelling in a camper van so everything will be pretty close-up... I probably won't even be able to hide my scale if I take it with me, at least I don't know how I'm going to be able to weigh myself without anyone noticing. I still have some laxatives left so I hope no one will pay attention to me using the bathroom all the time...
Yeah. Sorry and thank if anyone finished this. I can't really talk about this stuff to anyone and this is the main thing filling my head these days, as many of you will probably understand.
[Rant/Rave] my one tit is now smaller than the other
/u/chezpajama
Created: Thu Aug 23 10:01:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99om6w/my_one_tit_is_now_smaller_than_the_other/
---
And I have big tits so itās extremely noticeable to me.
My boyfriend says he doesnāt see it, but I donāt believe him.
Sometimes I just want to show them to an impartial third party and finally get to the truth.
Oh, I'll just have a coconut today, can't be that bad for m-
/u/almostdrunkkk [5'9 | 187 | 27.8 | -0 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 23 09:52:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ojc4/oh_ill_just_have_a_coconut_today_cant_be_that_bad/
---
https://i.redd.it/nlz4ttlh6vh11.jpg
I'm deliriously happy. I've had 2litres of water today,and still weigh almost a kg less than when I woke up.
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Thu Aug 23 09:51:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99oiv6/im_deliriously_happy_ive_had_2litres_of_water/
---
https://i.redd.it/ekb07r186vh11.jpg
PSA: Peach is back up
/u/unpollutedfantasy [šcucumberr]
Created: Thu Aug 23 09:49:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99oim0/psa_peach_is_back_up/
---
Yayš
[Discussion] What's your measurements?
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Thu Aug 23 09:28:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ocik/whats_your_measurements/
---
As a seamstress I find this more facinating than just weight
Currently at 5'2, 152-153 lbs I'm 33-27-41, when I say all my weight is on my hips I MEAN it. My goal is 32-25-36 my hips will always be unfortunately huge because of bone but hopefully I can get them down to a more practical size
[Help] My nose tingles
/u/CepheidVox [5'3 | 136.6 | 24.2 | -64.4 | F | šwaspish]
Created: Thu Aug 23 09:19:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99o9k7/my_nose_tingles/
---
For the past couple of weeks the tip of my nose has been tingling on and off. I've been restricting pretty low and I wonder if anyone else has experienced this? Maybe it's just anxiety? It's driving me crazy.
[Rant/Rave] Burnt off 2k+ calories!
/u/ExtraterritorialEve
Created: Thu Aug 23 09:18:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99o977/burnt_off_2k_calories/
---
Today has been busy at work and I was heavy lifting for almost 4 hours.
Burnt off 2,000k calories and only had a tiny cookie (47 calories) and two bottles of water.
Feeling good and very weak and tired lol
[Rant/Rave] Am I the Only One Who ...
/u/bpdix [5'7 | HW155 CW128 UGW105 | AFAB NB]
Created: Thu Aug 23 09:16:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99o8t3/am_i_the_only_one_who/
---
feels like its so terrible that calories add up so fast? and on top of that companies dont have to make their serving size what would be typically eaten (getting changed by 2020), yesterday i ate without counting calories and ended up eating probably over 3000 throughout the day, but the thing is i only ate like 3 small meals and coke zero on top of that which means i got an insulin response and i know its in my head but i already feel like i can see the fat on me
I emailed Peach. Hope itās back up soon
/u/unpollutedfantasy [šcucumberr]
Created: Thu Aug 23 09:10:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99o6qr/i_emailed_peach_hope_its_back_up_soon/
---
https://i.imgur.com/TYbXLCe.jpg
Is peach working for you rn?
/u/unpollutedfantasy [šcucumberr]
Created: Thu Aug 23 08:34:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99nw1y/is_peach_working_for_you_rn/
---
I canāt tell if itās down or if my phone is just being dumb...
[Help] Help stuck in binge cycle for a month
/u/narkreturn
Created: Thu Aug 23 08:26:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ntty/help_stuck_in_binge_cycle_for_a_month/
---
Iāve tried upping calories Iāve tried heavily restricting. I have no clue what to do next and Iām terrified. Help please :(
Not Having a scale is Killing Me
/u/kelly_kelli [5'4 | CW:207lbs. | SW: 220 (1/1/18) | GW: 145lbs.]
Created: Thu Aug 23 08:13:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99nq7c/not_having_a_scale_is_killing_me/
---
On vacation in London right now and I can't weigh myself. I'm not going to buy a scale just to leave it. I bought some clothes a size smaller than usual because my pants are too loose so I guess that's gonna have to tell me how I'm doing.
Also, food is delicious and I've gone over my 1200 calories 3 times already. :(
[Rant/Rave] Baby Showers and Rituals
/u/coolmistmama
Created: Thu Aug 23 08:03:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99nn8a/baby_showers_and_rituals/
---
Baby shower at work, during my lunch hour, is seriously interrupting my ritual š¬
I am having an internal freak out about not going. Like I literally cannot skip my walk during lunch and just stand around and eat with everybody.
Anybody have a plausible excuse as to why I literally cannot go? Iām gonna send the mom to be an apology note after the fact, since itās a surprise and I canāt say anything before.
Lurking for a while but Iāve relapsed
/u/urgentsoap
Created: Thu Aug 23 07:55:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99nl0w/lurking_for_a_while_but_ive_relapsed/
---
Drunk currently. Iāve had an ED since I was 13, and Iām now almost 24, but didnāt truly realise until a few years ago. Every six months or so I drop 10kg, maintain for a while, binge my way back up. Re-trigger myself etc.
Recently thought I might be on some sort of pathway to recovery - since being with my boyfriend of over a year i came to accept my body, and stopped binging, which meant my weight leveled out - something that had never happened before because of the extreme lack of middle ground. My weight stopped going to my face and ankles etc (classic bloat regions) and instead sort of fell around my breasts and hips and thighs and felt ok.
Anyway. Got diagnosed with bipolar a few months ago and weight was the last thing on my mind dealing with SSRIās and lifeās stresses lmao.
Inexplicably Iāve been restricting the last few weeks and for the first time in 10+ years I havenāt been binging during. Makes me feel like this time itās for real.
Itās not occupying my thoughts 24/7 and itās less inspired by self-hate than it is a need for control and I feel like this time I might reach some sort of āgoal weightā - whatever that is.
Iām not sure why Iām posting this or what I want to achieve from it but Iām here, Iām struggling and Iām in full love and support of you all.
Iām 5ā2 and last time I weighed a few months ago I was 60kg. Lowest weight 47. Not sure CW as I donāt weigh but I feel around 55.
Iām drunk and here I am. Pls love me xoxo
[Rant/Rave] Well after a 44 hour fast I binged on 3,000+ calories.
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | CW: 68kg | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 07:55:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99nkua/well_after_a_44_hour_fast_i_binged_on_3000/
---
Fuck me I guess.
Iām also going clubbing tonight so hereās to looking fat and gross and not being able to wear a crop top now because of bloat āš»āš»
[Other] Not fashionable whatsoever but I decided to start wearing ankle weights to work!
/u/shipp-solomon
Created: Thu Aug 23 07:46:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99nidg/not_fashionable_whatsoever_but_i_decided_to_start/
---
https://i.redd.it/9ee1wvankuh11.jpg
ECA stacking in the USA?
/u/HitchHikeHawk
Created: Thu Aug 23 07:43:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99nhl8/eca_stacking_in_the_usa/
---
I know a lot of people here do ECA stacking, so I have a question for you- if you are in the US, how do you get the ephedrine hcl considering that no companies ship here? Or do you simply use ephedra or primatene/bronkaid? Also how badly does ECA stacking mess you up- does anyone have horror stories to tell about this? Lmk if this breaks any of the rules!
[Discussion] Anyone else get whooshes after their period?
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Thu Aug 23 07:40:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ngtr/anyone_else_get_whooshes_after_their_period/
---
I get some noticeable wooshing going on after each period after the 3 lbs of water weight disappears.
Anyone else? Is this...normal?
[Discussion] Anyone else gain weight during their period and then... *whoosh* ??!! How much weight do you usually gain?
/u/MissD3nt1st
Created: Thu Aug 23 07:29:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ne0l/anyone_else_gain_weight_during_their_period_and/
---
https://i.redd.it/qssgu2uphuh11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I didn't know recovery would be this hard.
/u/sstephenn [5'10 | 126.2/57.2 | 18.1 | -60/27.2 | Male ]
Created: Thu Aug 23 07:27:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ndfx/i_didnt_know_recovery_would_be_this_hard/
---
I've posted here before on a different account, but I got paranoid or something and left I don't really care as much now jfdgjdfshgd. I hit my goal weight of 120 and still felt the same blah blah blah I'm dumb I'm eating more now, but I didn't realize it would be this difficult especially when you're depressed and already don't have an appetite. I have to eat so much and it's incredibly frustrating and exhausting because it's every single day!!!!!! Every bite seems exhausting. I also recently started having trouble swallowing which makes it even that much more difficult. PLUS YOU'RE DEALING WITH EVERYTHING ELSE???? This is too much. I definitely did not give people recovering enough credit. Thank u for listening I had to get this off of my chest also I'm not really sure how formal to type or whatever even tho i've read hundreds of posts here but it feels different when u make one urself ok thankies
[Rant/Rave] DAE get really sad thinking about how much weight they havenāt lost rather than being happy for what you have?
/u/lilllyyy
Created: Thu Aug 23 07:24:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ncha/dae_get_really_sad_thinking_about_how_much_weight/
---
first of all, hiii Iām pretty new to this subreddit and have mostly been lurking in the comments up to this point but just needed to get this off my chest-
Normally I avoid looking in the mirror at all costs but decided to anyway this morning. Instead of thinking about the ~10lbs I have lost over the last few months (which upsets me on its own tbh), all I saw is how much Iāve failed.
All those days of restricting, exercising, going to bed with my stomach growling and this is how I look? I still look this bad?? It made me so sad. Shouldnāt I look more thin than this, or even look thin at all?? Just feels like itās all been for nothing. Granted Iāve had a few days of ānormalā eating/maintenance along the way but gosh. Just so disappointing. And all I can think about is how much better I COULD have looked at this point if Iād lower my intake :(
Does anyone else feel like this?
(PS- this sub has been really helpful in making me feel less alone and you guys are so great and nice and welcoming š)
[Other] Caffeine high?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Thu Aug 23 07:07:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99n86o/caffeine_high/
---
So I've been drinking a ton of coffee and eating max 220 cal a day for a while now, and I feel euphoric? Is this the coffee or am I being placebo'd
[Rant/Rave] donāt want to go back to school until i reach my goal weight
/u/__shipwreck
Created: Thu Aug 23 06:41:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99n1q1/dont_want_to_go_back_to_school_until_i_reach_my/
---
anyone else in the same position?
when i go back to school, itāll be to my local community college, because i withdrew from a 4-year university (after my first semester), and gotta get back on track.
however, i just canāt stand the thought of former high school peers, locals, and stray-individuals-that-i-mightāve-rubbed-shoulders-with-once running into me like this.
i no longer engage in social media, but when i did, it left me with the impression that everyone i know has somehow lost weight, āglowed up uwu āØā, and found their own individualized ātrendyā style, whereas iāve only regressed.
iām still technically underweight, but when everyone else seems to have gone an opposite trajectory (chubby/normal in hs ā> lost weight in college), it makes me feel like a failure for even being the same weight as i was my senior year. except for a worse fat distribution, that constant triggers my gender dysphoria, due to weight gained back during ārecoveryā/binge eating (thank you hormones! glad i wonāt die lactating / giving birth now!!).
idfk, i just wanna be respected for once in my life, and want my appearance to be indicative of all the mental trauma iāve overcome, and general developmental progress that iāve made over the past year or so that iāve been out of school. but it only feels like iām a failure, because my diet was the one thing that spun out of control. i just want my appearance to correspond with how i feel on the inside. i just want people to see me in a positive light, without any possibility that i may be compared negatively to my past self, when iām in a better emotional place now, and a generally more well-rounded person.
[Other] Today is my 30th birthday and I remember how I didnāt think I would make it past the age of 20 at one time in my life. Feeling grateful
/u/madeinny88 [5'8" | 122 | 18.6 | 29/Female]
Created: Thu Aug 23 06:23:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99mxb4/today_is_my_30th_birthday_and_i_remember_how_i/
---
I didnāt think I would make it to 20 because of all the drugs, partying, and risky, impulsive behavior when I was 17-19, not to mention if bulimia got me first. But I did and then I got clean at 20 and got married, had kids, and stopped being bulimic after 10 years of bingeing/purging daily. Iāve had minor relapses in probably all areas over the years, and some not so minor, but Iāve learned to pick myself up after I fall. Itās progress, not perfection.
Iām so thankful for this community for being so supportive and being there for me to vent to about my ED. Not bulimic anymore and havenāt been actively bulimic since the beginning of the first pregnancy. Now I just struggle with restricting sometimes and the ED thoughts that remain after all these years and affect my body image and life in general. Itās hard for me to ever feel thin enough...or good enough... or anything enough. Iāve learned that you can take away actually acting on ED impulses but the thoughts, they always remain. But thatās ok because this is my cross to bear and Iām ok with that because hopefully it will mean I can help others in situations I used to be in.
Now when there are holidays or birthdays I indulge in all the treats and refuse to feel guilty or ashamed. Iām going to eat the fuck out of my birthday cake, Iām going to eat as much as I want of it and not feel guilty. Because even if I do gain a few pounds from eating massive amounts of my birthday cake, Iāve proven again and again that Iām capable of losing the weight, so Iām just not going to stress it. The weight will come off if I just relax about it. I know this.
Thank you all for being here for me to tell all of this too. I hope I donāt sound like Iām bragging because Iām really not...I just want others to see that there is hope... to be honest I thought I would never be able to stop bingeing and purging, it was such a huge part of my life. And I thought if I canāt get rid of this after 10 years, itās never going away. But I surprised myself. And I know that if I could stop being bulimic after having zero hope of ever being able to stop, then any of you can, because trust me, I was a lost cause, as lost as they come!! And even though my thoughts are very much still controlled by my ED, I would take disordered thoughts/slightly disordered eating for life, over actively bingeing/purging every day multiple times a day, any day.
Sorry this turned into a huge ramble! Love you all!!
Weekly Emotional Support August 23, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 23 06:11:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99muj9/weekly_emotional_support_august_23_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 23, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 23 06:10:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99mua9/daily_food_diary_august_23_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 23, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Its happening
/u/nirvanaandsilence
Created: Thu Aug 23 06:09:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99mtya/its_happening/
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I have something cool to share with you guys finally.
Yesterday, I was in the bathroom finishing up my homework during lunch as usual( it's quiet and I don't have any friends anyways) and some senior girl walks in with her backpack. She sits next to me and asks how my day is going. I tell her it's going fine and she asks if I've eaten. I said no, that I wasn't hungry that day. She said she's never seen me eat and people(probably just her) have noticed I've been losing weight rapidly. She tells me it's really unhealthy and that she'd be willing to buy me lunch. I thanked her and told her I was fine and that she didn't need to do that. She pulled some cookies out from her backpack and told me to please eat them, that it would make her feel better. I ate a few in front of her and she seemed satisfied, told me to enjoy the rest of my day, and left.
Someone actually noticed my weight loss guys. But best of all, someone actually cared for once. It feels like I got visited by some sort of angel.
I will soon be homeless
/u/Freaks-Cacao [5'9" /176cm| 157lbs/71kg | 22.9 | - 11 lbs/-5kg | Gender]
Created: Thu Aug 23 06:00:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99mrt8/i_will_soon_be_homeless/
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Today my life became a mess, and I think it's already feeding my (maybe I dunno if I have one) ED. I threw up a flavored drink just before (230 cals, wtf). I don't know where to share it, you're the community that appeals the most to me...So sorry for the long post.
​
So today I discovered that I was expulsed from my appartment. It's a social house, so they legally do it. They also don't really have a choice, my contract ends the 31th and they gave the flat to an handicaped girl. But normally was told to me that I could keep my appartment for at least two weeks after the 31th (by paying more ofc), until I find a place of my own.
Other thing : my friend who was meant to be my flatmate next year just learned today that her father got hysteric and decided that, in the end, he did not want her to move out. It was agreed since three months and we had visits scheduled, which he knows, but he don't cares, even if that means I am homeless. He's a diagnosed psychopath. His daughter is coming back from Japan in two days, and as he and her got into a fight about the appartment (she needs his financial help), he got angry and...gave her cat away. Her lil brother said he just got outside with the cat, took his car, and came back without it. He said he gave him to an association...But he may wery well just abandonned it on the side of a road. He HATES this cat and hates all animals. He may also have killed it, I know he killed his father's dog once (the dog was sick and was going to die, and he did not want to pay for a vet since his father did not have the money). This psycho is extremely rich but doesn't care about others or his daughter, he wants to be "respected" so he just did all of that on the spot today. Crazy.
​
So, I have no where to go. I may go to the hospital for a time, hospitalisation is free in France when it's demanded by a doctor (my psychiatrist asks for one since ages he will be happy). I rented a place already to put my stuff in. In Paris, finding a place is incredibly expensive, and I don't have a job (yet) or my usual studying pension (a really big number of students have it in France) that would be a proof of salary, which is absolutely needed to rent anything. So I don't have any way to rent something. I don't have family to help (my brother could but he's a big fucking ass and could tell me no honestly). My friends can't really help (my best friend lives with the fucking psycho that may have killed the cat, he won't accept me in his house, my other good friend has very racist parents, and my other very good friend lives in a 8mĀ², which is not even legal and too small to even have a full bed, a table, a shower and where to cook, he does not even have toilets). Plus, I don't really want to live with my other vague friends who live with their parents. I won't be able to not eat with them.
​
Worst yet, five minutes after I learned that, I got a call from my school. My situation was delicate, they wanted to expulse me because I had attendance issues (and this school is EXTREMELY strict)n even though I justified my attendance issues with a depression diagnosis, that now became a Bipolarity diagnosis. I was literally sick and they don't care. Today, they said that they may expulse me so I have to think about other solutions, and also see the school's psychiatrist who will decide if it's a good idea for me to stay in the school. This therapist is an asshole who did not believe me when I told him I did not sleep since three days. I am scared. If I'm expulsed, I will be 21 with no diploma. Just last year I was in an extremely prestigious school in France, and suddenly I am homeless with no future. The school wants to help me to get in university (schools are way better than college in France, college is often our equivalent of community college, unless we go to some very select college but they are Law uni, which is not what I want to do). But if I get expulsed from a school, I lose my state pension. To have enough money to study in Paris, i would have to work at least 35h a week (honestly even more), which is not enough to go to college, and I would need to work for three month before I can rent a place (very hard to get a place in Paris). Also I don't see myself doing all of this. I just got diagnosed Bipolar. I just got out of a three years nightmarish experience of long depressions and ridicule manias. I don't eat. I need a therapist. I can't earn the money to live, be homeless, and have the money for a therapist. So If I get expulsed, I can't study anymore, it's as simple. I will have to work and I have NO formation, even though I got into a super prestigious college, I will have to work in McDonalds.
​
Restricting is the only thing that goes well now. I got a whoosh this morning. Felt great.
[Help] How much water (not tea) do you drink a day,and how do you battle seeing the scale go up due to liquids?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Thu Aug 23 05:51:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99mppg/how_much_water_not_tea_do_you_drink_a_dayand_how/
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I currently drink 10 cups of tea (7 with no caffeine, 3 with caffeine) and 2 cups of coffee a day, as well as getting 1.5L + of plain water.
Should I lower my water intake as I'm drinking so much tea? How do you rationalise the number on the scale going up after fasting but drinking a lot?
Has anyone else experienced constant period-like cramps like this?
/u/_stegosaurus_ [5"3 | 117 | 20 | -15.5 | f]
Created: Thu Aug 23 05:10:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99mgx1/has_anyone_else_experienced_constant_periodlike/
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I've been lightly restricting to around 600-700cals a day recently. I usually purge once or twice a day but I'm staying with my friend (4hrs away) for a week and she knows her shit so yeah i haven't purged for a couple days (yay?).
ANYWAY, my body hurts like mad. It's exactly the same kind of pain I get when I'm on my period, eg. aching back and legs, and a little bit of a sore tummy, bloating, etc. no bleeding.
I'm on birth control and as a result I rarely get my period... so I can't really tell if it's amenorrhea or not.
Has anyone else gone through this? I'll probably go see a doctor when I get back home.
stay safe <3
I reached my goal weight way faster than I expected. Is this normal?
/u/thrownawaykalbi [5'7"|CW 98.7lbs|BMI 15.3|SW 108lbs|21F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 04:49:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99mcjf/i_reached_my_goal_weight_way_faster_than_i/
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My goal weight was 99 pounds.
When I weighed myself today I was 97. It happened so much faster than I thought - I've never restricted like this before. It's been 3 weeks since I started and I've already lost 8 pounds.
I didn't think I'd lose the weight so easily, my TDEE is supposed to be around 1350 and I've been high restricting at 1000 cals a day.
I don't exercise at all, actually I barely move all day. Just lie in bed staring at my phone or sit at my desk playing computer games from the time I wake up to the time I fall asleep.
What the heck is going on? Is this normal? Do I just have a high metabolism or am I grossly overestimating my calories?
[Help] Is bruising easily a side effect of restricting?
/u/Beanutpean
Created: Thu Aug 23 04:35:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99m9tv/is_bruising_easily_a_side_effect_of_restricting/
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I work with dogs and lately when they even so much as slept on me I get a decent bruise? And yesterday I was moving something and a box scraped me (not too hard at all) and I have a massive bruise today?
[Rant/Rave] WHY DO I KEEP EEATING
/u/fatkoreans
Created: Thu Aug 23 04:29:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99m8lt/why_do_i_keep_eeating/
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ITS LIKE I KNOW IM GONNA WANT TO DIE AFTER I EAT YET HERE I AM STUFFING M&MS DOWN MY THROATLIKE ITS THE LAST THING ON EARTH. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME I JUST WANT TO LOSE SEVEN POUNDS ITS NOT EVEN THAT MUCH AND IVE BEEN STUCK AT 107 FOR THE PAST FIVE MONTHS WHAT THE FUCK CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST SLAP ME OR SOMETHING A A. a. a a a a a thank u
[Other] Happy Birthday
/u/fernsandfoxes [5ā5.5ā|CW:112|BMI:18.5|GW:100|18F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 04:20:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99m6t1/happy_birthday/
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Today, I am turning 19
I wake up to a birthday coffee
Bitter and black and piping hot
Congratulations
Itās a breakfast you deserve
The voice in my head tells me
As I take my first sip
Today is a day for myself
I read the messages and letters
From my loved ones and smile
As I down ephedrine for lunch
And wash my appetite away
With yet another glass of water
I donāt deserve their kindness
The voice and I agree
And now for dinner
A nice, relaxing walk
of exactly 10,000 steps
And telling my family I ate in the park
Iāll eat my cake later, I insist
As I crack open a cold Diet Coke
And light a birthday cigarette
A ghost inside me guiding my fingers
And through my eyes, admiring the flame
A toast to you!
Your present is the emptiness
You feel in both your stomach
and your chest
For your birthday, it says,
I give to you
The ability to starve another day
Just something dumb I wrote for my b-day today
IT FITS!!!1!
/u/isntlifebeautiful
Created: Thu Aug 23 04:07:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99m3vj/it_fits1/
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Iām not that big as in length and I havenāt grown a lot in my legs since Iāve worn kids jeans, and yāall THEY FIT AGAIN AAAA!!!
Iām hella happy bc these were my favorites and I was so sad when my thighs got too fat.
I tried to recover but see no point now
/u/Nodnapoint
Created: Thu Aug 23 04:00:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99m2gf/i_tried_to_recover_but_see_no_point_now/
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[using a throaway]
I just need to get this out somewhere. I was recovering and doing so well. My husband and me wanted to try for a child once I was stable for a while. Now....I guess there is no point for me to try any more.
We took one of those 23andme tests for fun. We were prepared for like cancer genes or weird relatives we didn't know about. We didn't consider this....because it turns out, we are both carriers of the same genetic disorder. I'm a biologist, I know what this means for us. We live in a country that doesn't allow abortion or testing on IVF embryos. We both agree that we wouldn't want to take the risk to have an affected child that will needlessly suffer and die soon after birth. We always saw children in our future.
My ed is so fueled by this right now. I don't want to nourish this disgusting body any more. It doesn't deserve it. It betrayed me. Every single cell of my body is against me.
I don't know where we'll go from here. Get a dog maybe? Go to counselling...I have no idea. I am so hopeless right now.
[Tip] I'm sure most of you already know it, but the fasting tracker app Vora is awesome.
/u/graeciamagna
Created: Thu Aug 23 03:37:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99lyan/im_sure_most_of_you_already_know_it_but_the/
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It's nice to see your fasts validated... If that makes sense? It tracks them to the second and you can look at your daily average and set a daily goal. It's pretty neato.
So much easier to restrict while in college
/u/Iamveryspiteful
Created: Thu Aug 23 03:21:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99lvnu/so_much_easier_to_restrict_while_in_college/
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This is unbelievable to me. Restricting was always hard for me while I was living with my parents because they would always buy trash foods and leave them around the house (I have weak self-control), or guilt trip me to have dinner with them. Our home was located in the middle of a big city, meaning delicious restaurants everywhere- serving my favorite kinds of food. I always had the option to drive to get food and just give in to my cravings.
​
After moving into my dorm, I quickly realized it was much more easier to restrict when I was the only one doing the grocery shopping. I had no one to pressure me to eat with them anymore. I have no car, and the only "restaurants" in walking distance in a McDonalds and a Subway, neither of which I am that big of a fan of. Even Walmart is a 10 minute walk to and 10 minute walk back. This is amazing.
Just got back from holiday. Allowed myself eat and drink all the enjoyable things. Gained 2kg 12 days. I felt pretty low and fat when I left despite being restricted and now I am gonna see if I can fast this all off.
/u/i_love_junk_food [156cm | CW huge| BMI massive | Weight Lost 7kg | Gender F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 02:54:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99lqh6/just_got_back_from_holiday_allowed_myself_eat_and/
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Part of me believes that 3500kcal is a pound for regular people and like 1500kcal extra is a pound for me. FML.
At least I ate so well that food at home feels rubbish in comparison so I am not tempted to eat anything just yet. It's not even been 24 hours.
[Help] What are some good hunger repressants?
/u/queenofbo0ks
Created: Thu Aug 23 02:05:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99lia6/what_are_some_good_hunger_repressants/
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I have been actively lowering my calorie intake and did this cold turkey.
It has been very hard and I've woken up multiple times because my hunger was so bad I felt sick.
I have tried coffee (with milk as long as my intake allows that), sugarfree gum and loads of water/tea but it doesn't seem to help.
I really want to keep going because this is the first time I've been able to keep up with my calorie intake without giving in and I don't want to lose that over a lack of sleep.
Thank you
[Rant/Rave] got cheated on. so much for recovery.
/u/xlaaane
Created: Thu Aug 23 01:46:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99leu4/got_cheated_on_so_much_for_recovery/
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hey all. just found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me with like...an 80lb girl for like 3 months haha just sitting here on my couch wolfing down weed brownies and and sweet tea before i start restricting tomorrow. itās been a while. sigh. hope all of you are feeling better than I am today.
[Rant/Rave] not sick enough
/u/smolbeanbaby [5'2 | 132 | 24.1 | 34 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 01:43:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99le8q/not_sick_enough/
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this one guy at work keeps calling me fat and my manager acted like it was just teen drama. i snapped and was like āi have a fucking eating disorder, i donāt need him to be telling me iām fat when i already have my own issuesā and my manager just sort of sighed and rolled his eyes, and i donāt know... i sort of feel like i need to not eat now, just to get sick enough you know? iām a normal weight right now, so iām not sick enough, right? i donāt know. i feel stupid and like i donāt actually have anything wrong with me.
[Rant/Rave] My partner is obese
/u/ThrowPotential
Created: Thu Aug 23 01:41:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ldv2/my_partner_is_obese/
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[removed]
It's not fair
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Thu Aug 23 01:16:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99l9bq/its_not_fair/
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We have a new girl starting at work. She is so perfect. Beautiful hair, perfect style, she's very accomplished at her job, amazing figure.
Fuuuuuck.
We went out for dinner with the team and her outfit was so fucking on point. It just made me feel I like a big fat loser. She is going to be so triggering working with her. Omg
I wish I could just be someone else
I purged for the second time last night and it's all I can think about (CW: self harm)
/u/JayLenoBlows [trans | BPD | 18f | 6' 145lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 23 01:14:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99l8u0/i_purged_for_the_second_time_last_night_and_its/
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I had a panic attack and almost got hit by a car because I dissociated super hard so I didn't look before walking into the street (I know, I know) and freaked out so I bought a bag of sweets and ate them when I got home, but then I purged for the second time last night. The self loathing is so intense, I need to get out of my piece of shit body. There's nothing in the world I wanna do more than purge right now. I cut after purging and went to bed. Last night was so fucking awful
[Rant/Rave] Not eating is easier than restricting
/u/audreyhepburnwho [25F | 5'8 | cw 159 | hw 196 | sw 172 | lw 150 | ugw 145]
Created: Thu Aug 23 01:12:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99l8g2/not_eating_is_easier_than_restricting/
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This time last year i was struggling to keep doing keto and CICO, without falling into binges. I was losing painfully slowly and then regaining it all by going off track for a couple days. It was incredibly frustrating. At the time i had do much bro science stuck in my brain........ I was worrying about getting enough fat, enough protein. Getting enough calories. Oh you haven't lost in a week? Must be your metabolism slowing down. Gotta up those calories. Still not losing? Ok up the protein. Follow macro percentages. Work out more. But don't forget to compensate for the extra burned calories by eating more! Try eating 6 meals a day so your metabolism stays up!
These misconceptions ruined me! I'm so glad that now I know, i can restrict as much as I want. I used to think all the time how much easier it would be to just not eat, than having to count calories and hope that I'm calculating my Tdee correctly. Seriously. Counting calories like that took the joy out of eating so i always wanted more. I dont really count most days now, i fast a lot and somedays just stay within safe foods and just kinda ballpark that I'm under 500 other days iif i want to eat more, I'll count more precisely. But it's not an every day thing. And if I'm not hungry im not eating. I also wish i knew fasting and IF was a thing before. Eating 5 super small meals per day isn't for me. There are so many people spreading misconceptions... I used to think trying to lose faster would kill my metabolism and i was somehow stay obese forever even at a huge deficit lol.
[Rant/Rave] I canāt wait till summer ends
/u/BlondeActually [Height 5ā4 | CW 94| BMI 16.1| HW 120| LW 89| GW 88 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 23 00:38:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99l1x1/i_cant_wait_till_summer_ends/
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I literally cannot wait until his heat goes away. I can finally start going for walks again because at the moment itās 45C (115F) even at night with humidity worse than a sauna and I canāt stay outside for more than a few minutes. I always get skinny in the winter because when I feel like binging I go for a walk. Iāve even tried walking around in the mall but thereās too much delicious food. Another month and Iāll be ready to go!
[Rant/Rave] "Is that to eat here or take away?"
/u/hammerprice [5'11" | obese | -4kg | 26F | vegan | inbox always open to talk!]
Created: Thu Aug 23 00:27:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99kzsb/is_that_to_eat_here_or_take_away/
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I know people at fast food restaurants are just doing their job and they probably have to ask that question of everybody. But when I'm alone in the restaurant doing a group order to take back to my friends, and they ask that question, it just reminds me that I look like someone who could and would eat 10000+ calories in one sitting and it makes me want to dump my part of the order in the trash lol
Purging makes no sense (this will be gross)
/u/dirrkdigglerr
Created: Thu Aug 23 00:16:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99kxvb/purging_makes_no_sense_this_will_be_gross/
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So I ate a healthy dinner that was like 60% broccoli, 20% sauce and 20% pasta which I was actually fine with. Then I ate two pop tarts and two cookies which I was not ok with. I purged like ten minutes after these items and at this point itās 5 hours after dinner. Yet (TMI I know) only two pukes seem to look like the cookies/pop tarts. Then I start vomiting whatās left of my dinner which I didnāt want to do. Like - no you can stay here, you are welcome - itās your sugary friends who gotta go. So I stopped. Now Iām just paranoid I didnāt get all the junk out and it somehow went beneath my dinner and is still there and I shouldāve just kept purging til I saw bile :/
[Rant/Rave] Going to a retreat fml
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Wed Aug 22 23:58:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99kuab/going_to_a_retreat_fml/
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I'm going on a retreat all weekend and know I'm going to have a hard avoiding food or restricting as much as I'd like to. I'm really really going to try but it's just so hard to not look like a recluse or some shit. Also none of my clothes fit right now because I lost weight so quickly and so I look like a little kid in professional clothes. What a good time. I love when my ED and anxiety make the perfect storm together š
[Help] What the fuck do you do instead of eating?
/u/markexclamationmark
Created: Wed Aug 22 23:53:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ktgv/what_the_fuck_do_you_do_instead_of_eating/
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Food is my only emotional comfort. I'm stressed anxious and upset right now but don't want to binge (don't even really feel like it, it's just a habitual instinct atm). I just had the epiphany that I have no other coping mechanisms. What the frick frack am I meant to do to comfort myself? ā¹ļø don't want to drink or smoke. Might play a game instead... Is this what adulting feels like? My therapist would be proud.
Aside from food related stuff, how do you guys cope with being stressed /anxious /depressed?
[Discussion] First Post/anyone else binge today?
/u/aspartameaddict
Created: Wed Aug 22 23:01:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99kivw/first_postanyone_else_binge_today/
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so, I guess I'll introduce myself. I'm a long time lurker, first time poster here, and I've recently gone back to school, great. Now, I'm bulimic (where the rest of y'all at lmao) and my binges tend to be worse when I'm stressed, which I've been lately. Long story short, I've just binged around 3000 calories including (but not limited to ofc) cake, jello, nuts, a burger, Taco Bell, beans, and I'm currently stuffing my face with chocolate. But hey, at least I didn't purge. :)
ANYhow, I thought I'd try out posting here, it's the only place I could think of where ppl might not judge me. So if any of y'all binged recently and want to just talk about it, here's a place to suffer together ;)
Who else eats vicariously through others?
/u/smashleytheking
Created: Wed Aug 22 22:37:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99kdnq/who_else_eats_vicariously_through_others/
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Half joking but why am I obsessed with watching cooking shows and guessing how many calories are in each dish?
[Discussion] App suggestions?
/u/ShannonAnon
Created: Wed Aug 22 22:33:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99kcs1/app_suggestions/
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My cousin is having a wedding the first weekend of October and I want to lose at least 20 pounds. Itās 6 weeks so itās a pretty reasonable goal.
Does anyone have a suggestion for an app that will let me set a countdown and send me reminders? Something to remind me of my goal and motivate me during the day?
BDD never goes away
/u/BearSaint [6' 2" | 190 | Male | LW 106 | Low BMI 14 | pro-recovery]
Created: Wed Aug 22 22:10:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99k7vh/bdd_never_goes_away/
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In treatment the whole goal, other than fattening you up for months then sending you back into the real world where everything else is exactly the same, is to make you feel "normal". By having a bunch of people tell you over and over what your body looks like.
Well hey now I'm a super old married guy and all that behind me. But went to the doctor yesterday so got the full on how tall I am, how much I weigh, and later "so how are you doing?" "Oh you didn't mark any problems (in the mental health section) so you are doing fine now?"
Why yes I am doing quite fine now. My bmi is 24.3. That's literally a fat bmi. But I know I'm not fat because I have been wearing the exact same belt since I was twelve years old and my mom bought me a new leather belt. And it is fitting just fine on notch 4, and notch 4 ain't fat.
Now tonight sitting next to my wife as she cuddles up against me and I see my skinny weak noodle arms next to her head and my arm is the size of her head. But that can't be right so I look closer and yeah very thin weak arms. So I briefly flex and my arm is now as big as her head again. Then when I stop my arm is going to disappear.
Then I put my arm next to her arm and it's her arm going to disappear.
The only times I think maybe I start to see what I really maybe look like it's when I'm going full on narcissist mode and when I look in the mirror I'm so smug and filled with irrational confidence that I really do look different. But when I look in the mirror without that? I look like a completely different person.
Do you look different in the mirror depending on how you feel? And do you think it's real? Like your body language actually changes and so how you look *actually changes*?
[Discussion] Inpatient/PHP/IOP/Residential
/u/Chaiteathaichi
Created: Wed Aug 22 22:10:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99k7q4/inpatientphpiopresidential/
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For those of you who have gone to treatment (other than outpatient), what was the tipping point? Was it your choice for recovery or did your family, doctor, therapist urge you to go? As someone who has never been sick enough for anyone to really notice my issues with food, I really curious about what lead you to go into treatment.
I'm nothing without my medication.
/u/brita09234890235 [š 21.8 | 5'3.5 | CW 122.6 lbs | GW 110 lbs | 24 f]
Created: Wed Aug 22 22:04:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99k6lt/im_nothing_without_my_medication/
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This is random but I need to vent somewhere. I convinced my doctor I was having migraines so I can get prescribed a migraine medication that's also used to stop cravings. I got him to push it up to 150mg a day after months of faking migraines. I never lost more weight than I did before but I continued to steadily lose. Then I started getting the shit side effects that I couldn't deal with. Forgetting the most basic things isn't great when you're starting a new job that focuses A LOT on accuracy. I decided to take myself off it, and like a fucking light switch, I gained again. It's like all those cravings were just chilling and waiting to be released. Holy fuck I can't believe the number when I step on the scale. I fast now but still can't get past these fuckin binges. I want to die. I can't believe I've gained this much. Fuck me. I want to go back on it but I threw all the pills out. I know my work will suffer and I might get fired. I'm stuck at a crossroads.
[Discussion] DAE have sex to feel wanted or pretty?
/u/unsentoffmythrowaway
Created: Wed Aug 22 20:56:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99jqev/dae_have_sex_to_feel_wanted_or_pretty/
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I know it's unhealthy but sex is the only way I can feel wanted by someone, like I'm not hideous
[Rant/Rave] If I didn't ask you for your opinion on my weight or size, shut up.
/u/smashleytheking
Created: Wed Aug 22 20:48:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99jolw/if_i_didnt_ask_you_for_your_opinion_on_my_weight/
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Ok this may come across as a bit hostile...but I am so sick to death of everyone telling me how thin I am. At first I loved it, it was really validating to hear my NP, my mom, and my husband all tell me I'm thin. I used to get a high off strangers complimenting my physique. Now I just want everyone to get off my back about it and leave me alone. Everyone keeps telling me to stop trying to lose weight, eat a cheeseburger, put some meat on my bones, etc. Like ok I didn't ask.
To make matters worse, I am deathly afraid of my GP finding out that I have an eating disorder. I have had to go in because my mom and husband wouldn't get off my back about passing out and my "diet" but I'm really worried because even though I sabotaged my blood test my blood sugar still came back low. My GP emailed me and told me I need to be eating every two hours which is ridiculous.
I have been to "treatment" before which was hands down the most traumatizing experience (I actually have diagnosed PTSD from it) and I am so deathly afraid of my family practitioner finding out and trying to force me into another treatment facility.
[Other] How can I lose 30 pounds and be fatter?
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 20:46:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99jo5k/how_can_i_lose_30_pounds_and_be_fatter/
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Title says it all. I'm 30 pounds down from my highest weight and I'm FATTER NOW. I'm going to the pool tomorrow and I thought I might wear a bikini because last time I was at this weight I felt good in a bikini. But I look enormous. I look fatter than I looked at my highest weight. I fucking hate this.
[Help] Does C/S really make you gain weight? I don't think it's supposed to apparently but some people do???
/u/truly_solanis [5'2 |SW 180| CW 145 | GW 115 | BMI 26.5 | -35 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 20:40:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99jmot/does_cs_really_make_you_gain_weight_i_dont_think/
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Ok so my parents recently bought a FUCK TON of groceries. We're all fat (they're Class II Obese, I'm on the fence between Healthy and Overweight) and they have been seeing me lose weight rather quickly and they really want to lose weight too, but JESUS CHRIST they're buying all the calorie dense "healthy" foods (nuts, avocados,bananas, premade salads, the like. Also, they bought mayonaise and a massive tub of peanut butter for some reason??? Eww???)
They went grocery shopping the other day while I was still asleep so I had literally no fucking warning or say in the matter. I can't wait until I start college and the fridge is near empty and low cal. Peace at last. Unfortunately there is another 2 weeks before I start so fml.
Anyways, the last time they pulled this shit on me, I just threw it all in the trash bc I didn't want to eat that shit. This time around, I've been trying c/s so as to feel *slightly* less wasteful about it and maybe even avoid some binges. I did it today but I ate my 330 cal OMAD beforehand so as to avoid a full on binge. I've been feeling hungrier this week for some reason so this helps a lot.
I've read some articles and sources as to how many calories you gain from c/s, which are negligible. Some say next to none, others say 5%, others say 10%, so idk how to count the calories, but I usually say about 3% personally bc I like to be optimistic and cals don't actually count until they reach the small intestine anyways.
That said, I've heard some horror stories in this sub about ppl who have GAINED weight from c/s??? How the fuck??? Is there something wrong with their metabolism? Am I going to be ok and still lose??? Did those people swallow more than they think they did???
Now that I've seen C/S weight gain horror stories, I've gone into a full state of panic. I'm already fat enough as is. I want to die **now.**
I'm so genuinely excited for school to start so I can live off coke zero, low cal smoothies, and salads in peace. No more c/s'ing peanuts while crying.
Am I going to fuck a guy who was an asshole to me when I was fat? (In my context fatter)
/u/unsentoffmythrowaway
Created: Wed Aug 22 20:40:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99jmmb/am_i_going_to_fuck_a_guy_who_was_an_asshole_to_me/
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You're damn right I am.
[Rant/Rave] yoga is the best thing thatās ever happened to my ED
/u/chezpajama
Created: Wed Aug 22 20:39:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99jmad/yoga_is_the_best_thing_thats_ever_happened_to_my/
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I love the control it has helped me gain over my body. Itās also done wonders for my digestive issues and if I feel like eating, I can just do a restorative Hatha practice and take my mind off it. Itās also helped my insomnia.
And I call bullshit on people who say yoga doesnāt help you lose weight. Iām down 28 lbs since June combining daily yoga practice with restriction. The past two weeks have been scorching hot so I wasnāt working out and I lost 50% less weight.
Put in 2 hours today and Iām sore from the ribs down. Love it.
[Rant/Rave] Clothes from last year are no longer skin tight
/u/speedayyyy
Created: Wed Aug 22 20:30:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99jk8a/clothes_from_last_year_are_no_longer_skin_tight/
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They are actually baggy on me now, 40 pounds later. Yet I still feel like I look the same??? Iāll look in the mirror and see the same gross body??? I still have 25 pounds left to reach my goal weight so... doubt Iāll feel good then either šāāļø
How much can I loose this week
/u/KaitlynMK
Created: Wed Aug 22 20:06:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99jef0/how_much_can_i_loose_this_week/
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How much weight should I try losing this week? I lost 2lbs last week.
Having an ED is...
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Wed Aug 22 20:01:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99jd17/having_an_ed_is/
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...debating with myself for the last hour if I can have lunch because I single handedly ate a whole chocolate muffin yesterday like an animal
You'll probably ask for seconds
/u/mabver321 [5'1 | CW 143 | GW 108| F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 19:57:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99jc33/youll_probably_ask_for_seconds/
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So im finally deciding to eat dinner with my family as its my first meal of the day. My lovely sister who I know meant no harm as she has no idea said "Here's your plate. I know you'll probably beg for seconds or thirds so I made you a big portion." Was I that much of a big before? I think ive lost my appetite
anybody use crushes as restriction āfuelā
/u/aworkinprogress_
Created: Wed Aug 22 19:46:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99j95l/anybody_use_crushes_as_restriction_fuel/
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so I just started at a new school. and thereās a really cute guy. but heās WAY out of my league. heās 2 years older than me and a literal actor like on a tv show. but GOD im crushing so hard and I know Iāll never have a chance but I just keep telling myself āyeah you donāt have a chance now but maaaybe heāll like you once youāre 105 lbsā
i feel so shitty about it and I know itās not true like a BMI of 19 or 17 isnāt gonna be a dealbreaker either way for guys and ugh I hate this itās just fueling my self hatred lol
[Help] Never felt terror like this before
/u/Dontloseyour-Ed [5ft | CW: 102lbs | BMI: 39 | GW: 86lbs | 16F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 19:40:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99j7mq/never_felt_terror_like_this_before/
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https://i.redd.it/qwzkddq3zqh11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I lowkey hate it when people tell me Iām not fat at all and a perfectly healthy weight!!!
/u/aworkinprogress_
Created: Wed Aug 22 19:37:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99j74l/i_lowkey_hate_it_when_people_tell_me_im_not_fat/
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Like, I donāt have body dysmorphia. I know Iām not fat, itās kind of hard to see yourself that way when youāre surrounded by people who are actually fat. But like the whole point of this for me is I donāt want to be ānot fatā or āregularā or āhealthyā. I want to be skinny, concerningly, unhealthy skinny. Itās just restriction fuel tbh.
tldr people should just stop talking to me bc I get triggered at everything
[Rant/Rave] I did not realize how ugly I was until I stood in front of 3 mirrors at once.
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Wed Aug 22 19:37:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99j74a/i_did_not_realize_how_ugly_i_was_until_i_stood_in/
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I've spend my whole life accepting the way I look and working with what I have. I think I look okay from the front, minus all the fat.
But, oh. my. god.
After years of being to scared of shopping for clothes, I finally went to the stores. And the fitting rooms had multiple mirrors and I could see all angles, not just the front like I'm used to. The back, the sides, etc.
I'm so ugly, I can't believe it. I guess I have a whole lot more to look like. No wonder I don't have a boyfriend, I'm hideous.
Got prescribed Concerta today...
/u/ydboy
Created: Wed Aug 22 18:53:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ivo9/got_prescribed_concerta_today/
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Long story short I've been seeing a psychiatrist for my depression and anxiety and it has shifted to possibility of inattentive adhd instead so I was prescribed Concerta (Ritilin) alongside my antidepressant. I was fully aware of the suppressant effects all stimulants come with... and that makes me feel excited which feels so wrong.
I'm not even most excited for the possibility that my concentration might just improve for the better, I'm just fucking excited to hate food. I don't get to start it until next week Monday but I'm curious as to what it'll really feel like.
I've lived my entire life with undiagnosed adhd so it's a bit exciting to know that if it works I'll get to experience what it's like to have a normal person's brain.
The only "stimulants" I have used were ec stacks. They didn't make me lose my appetite really, I just ended up prioritizing other things over food instead of obsessing over it every second of the day. I'm wondering if the experience will be similar....
I don't have any intention to abuse the dosage, I don't fuck with that kind of stuff.
[Rant/Rave] Passing time till GW (level grinding my life...)
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1 | CW 192 |BMI 25.3 | WL -178 | M]
Created: Wed Aug 22 18:41:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99iski/passing_time_till_gw_level_grinding_my_life/
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When I'm restricting I just try to pass time as quickly as possible. It's like putting my life on hold. It reminds me of level grinding in an RPG when I was a kid (trying to level up by repeatedly doing the same thing again and again). Sigh... I just want it to be a month in the future so I can take my life off of pause.
I'm still excited about being thinner everyday, I just want time to pass more quickly, but also feel bad about wasting my life. Do you guys do this and ever worry that you'll keep trying to pass time and then all the time will be gone?
[Rant/Rave] Wtf is wrong with me?!
/u/shipp-solomon
Created: Wed Aug 22 18:07:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ijse/wtf_is_wrong_with_me/
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I was laying in bed and decided I really needed a q-tip, so I went into my bathroom to get one. I used the toilet, washed my hands, brushed my teeth, weighed myself, got upset, took laxatives, took a few measurements, and went back to sit on my bed. 20 minutes later, I realized I really needed a fucking q-tip.
Fuck me, seriously.
[Rant/Rave] "Average Thighs"
/u/MrsBluebeard [5'4" | 96 lbs. | 16.8 | UGW- 90 lbs. | Bee]
Created: Wed Aug 22 18:04:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ij3d/average_thighs/
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What's the deal with being regular? I mean, c'moooon... If I wanted to be regular, you know what I wouldn't have? And eating disorder. But then what has this life been all about. So the other day, I'm sitting on the couch with my boyfriend, and I mention my chubby thighs since trying to gain weight. He goes, "They're not chubby. They're regular." As a size 00, it makes you wonder what irregular is. What bar has my boyfriend set so low he thinks a 00 is average? Is this a red flag? Has the dating pool evaporated that much? Am I insane?
I baked all day today and didnāt binge??!
/u/robreinerismydad
Created: Wed Aug 22 17:38:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99icbd/i_baked_all_day_today_and_didnt_binge/
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Who am I? I made all kinds of zucchini baked goods and didnāt taste test a single one. I also did a very minimal licking of the spoons and beaters. I feel so proud! Now I put everything into the basement freezer, out of sight out of mind. Today was definitely a victory.
I just said no to sex so I could binge.
/u/BronArianwyn
Created: Wed Aug 22 17:27:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99i9d9/i_just_said_no_to_sex_so_i_could_binge/
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Yep.
I plan on going straight to the $store and getting as much savory awful junk as i can carry and binge all night long after I drop my boyfriend off at work.
He wanted a quickie before we left.
I was like "nah.." Im saving myself for chocolate cake.
WTF.
Sick satisfaction
/u/donttrustaho [5'3.5| BMI: 17.7 |F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 17:25:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99i8tk/sick_satisfaction/
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I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time this weekend. She was really nice and sweet, not to mention serious body goals. This is a woman who's in her 50s, runs marathons, and has seemingly no body fat.
Anyways, after I left I guess she had a conversation with my boyfriend where she said "Wow [your gf] is so skinny, does she eat?" He knows about my ed and said something along the lines of "Well sheās struggling with an ed etc etc.ā
The first thing I asked was if she was seriously asking or joking, and he said she was nicely but seriously asking about my health. Is it horrible that I got a sick sense of pleasure from this? All I see in the mirror is a fat whale.
My bf told me about this because heās been really encouraging my recovery, and tries to help me see myself the way he does. Unfortunately it completely backfired bc comments like āOh sheās so skinnyā only fuel my unhealthy brain.
Shoutout to shitty friends for ruining appetite
/u/AbandonedDragon
Created: Wed Aug 22 17:24:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99i8o2/shoutout_to_shitty_friends_for_ruining_appetite/
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So Iāve been over my calorie goal of 500 everyday for weeks and today I was at about 800 but Iāve been craving a veggie burger and had given into the idea of making one. BUT SHITTY FRIENDS SAVE THE DAY. Itās stupid drama that Iām way to old for. But trust has been destroyed and basically friendship is over and now Iām too anxious to go to going out tomorrow night like I was planning on and my appetite is completely ruined. Iāll probably go consume at least half the amount of calories of the veggie burger in liquor but oh well. Iām so anxious from it Iām lightheaded and dissociating. Maybe I can actually fast tomorrow.
It just sucks because I canāt make friends so losing one sucks. Oh well. I have my dog and alcohol and Iāll get skinnier so I guess I should be happy. Itās just amazing emotional distress can do for weight loss.
Constantly lying to myself
/u/yaboifreud [5'5 | 105 ish | recovering kinda]
Created: Wed Aug 22 17:18:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99i757/constantly_lying_to_myself/
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I don't know if anyone else does this, but lately I've been realizing just how much I lie to myself about basically everything (or rather, how much my ED lies to me if you like to look at it that way).
​
Take those calorie deficit/weight loss calculators like losertown for instance. You know where they ask you to put in your activity level? I pretty much work out every single day. If I take more than one rest day a week, I actually lose my mind. i feel guilty when I take one rest day so I rarely do. But still, I lie to myself and say, "yeah, I'd say I really only exercise 4x per week" so I put that. And same with calories! I set my limit at 1200 but lets be real if that number goes over 1000 I also will actually lose my mind. But still I say I eat 1200 a day.
​
Then it's the goals. I'll say to myself, "I just want to be able to fit into these jeans!!" and so I go to try on the jeans periodically. Those jeans fit me 10 pounds ago, and they fit perfectly fine now. But no, I "don't fit into them yet" and I have to keep losing. It's like I literally cannot accept "success".
​
I just want to be good enough but this just shows there is never going to be an "enough" for me. I will never be able to see myself as having exercised enough, eaten little enough, or gotten small enough. I'm trying to get myself back onto the recovery path but even when I was in full force recovery, I constantly felt that I wasn't even trying enough. It's lose-lose, no matter what I do.
​
[Rant/Rave] Iām secretly glad Iām back in school and I can trigger myself
/u/motivation-cat
Created: Wed Aug 22 17:13:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99i5m6/im_secretly_glad_im_back_in_school_and_i_can/
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Towards the end of summer, I was honestly losing motivation to starve. I was binging a lot and eating whatever I wanted. Every so often Iād get a reality check, though, usually in the form of looking at my body in the mirror and fucking hating it, but I couldnāt restrict for more than two days.
Enter my first day of school. In art class, which I have every day, there is a girl who is so tiny and cute and skinny, basically everything I want to be. I was fucking floored. I realized how badly I wanted to lose weight again, and now Iāve been restricting under these past couple of days and plan to continue doing so till I reach my ugw. Im dead set on reaching it now.
Itās so fucked up, but Iām so glad my ED is worse again.
waiting for someone to invent a negative calorie food
/u/rustymice
Created: Wed Aug 22 17:09:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99i4rt/waiting_for_someone_to_invent_a_negative_calorie/
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https://i.redd.it/v3yxyfeb8qh11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] So angry at myself for not being "sick enough"
/u/SlothsRUs15 [5'8 | 122lbs | BMI 18.3 | Female | 17 ]
Created: Wed Aug 22 17:08:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99i4go/so_angry_at_myself_for_not_being_sick_enough/
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This is such a shitty mentality to have but I just need to talk about it and I don't have anyone irl who will understand. I'm so mad at myself for gaining all this weight back. I tried to get healthy by putting on muscle but I'm almost at 140lbs and I feel fucking disgusting. I know a lot of it is muscle but I just feel fat. I can't look at myself in the mirror. I read stories of you guys getting better and I'm happy for you, really, but can't help but feel jealous that I'll never feel that way. I feel jealous when I see people my age have been hospitalised, to recovery centers, etc, because I feel like I can't even do my eating disorder properly. And I know I'm scum for thinking this as its so so toxic, but I can't stop thinking about it and I feel awful :c
Can you fake out a thyroid test to get meds?
/u/RubyxLeaf
Created: Wed Aug 22 17:08:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99i4fy/can_you_fake_out_a_thyroid_test_to_get_meds/
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It is extremly hard for me too loose weight. I've been eating 400-800 calories a day for 3 months and I've only lost 10 pounds. I'm very active. My fitbit and myfitnesspal always predicts that I should loose way more than I do.
I've had my thyroid tested multiple times and it comes back normal. I only want too loose 20 pounds. Currently 150.
Is there anything I can do to influence the test results so I can get meds to help me loose weight?
[Other] I just think a lot of you people will enjoy and relate to this
/u/HulderVette [168cm | 56,2kg | 19.91 | -10,8kg | F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 17:04:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99i39f/i_just_think_a_lot_of_you_people_will_enjoy_and/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jx4dDPzfzM&t=46s
[Discussion] Cartoons and food
/u/glitchydowner
Created: Wed Aug 22 17:01:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99i2a8/cartoons_and_food/
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Those damn turkey/chicken/duck legs in cartoons look amazing! Makes me so hungry!!
Anyone else? No? Just me then haa
[Discussion] Need help for Bulimia
/u/Skeleton_Spooky
Created: Wed Aug 22 16:57:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99i15w/need_help_for_bulimia/
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Hi guys and gals! I need some advice. So I live with my boyfriend and he doesn't know I do this sort of stuff, but I haven't been able to purge for weeks because he watches for me and I'm afraid he's listening. Any tips on how to do it silently? I go the whole day without eating then he's sweet and buys me dinner but I'm not trying to do that xD any tips on making it really quiet when you purge so he doesn't hear?
[Rant/Rave] Iām sick of people telling me what to eat and when to eat it. I donāt want to be controlled anymore.
/u/californiabeautiful
Created: Wed Aug 22 16:51:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99hzow/im_sick_of_people_telling_me_what_to_eat_and_when/
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So to start, Iāll be honest and say that Iām not a small girl. My BMI is around 30. It used to be higher but Iāve lost about 35 lbs recently. Before I started losing weight, my husband never said anything about my eating habits or weight. However, since starting this journey, heās been really opinionated. Mostly he was concerned because I lost most of the weight by starving myself. Then I attempted to recover a couple times by doing the keto diet (very low carb, high fat diet).
Today, I started falling off the keto wagon again. I had a couple of slices of pizza. Then I wanted a donut but I had decided the donut was going to be the last thing I had before I got back to my diet. I know myself, I wouldāve stuck to that. But my husband refused to get me this donut. Like straight up would not take me to the donut shop on the way home (he was driving). I didnāt take this too well. My parents were always very controlling about food when I was growing up which is what led to my disordered eating in the first place. So now weāre fighting and he thinks Iām being ridiculous.
Itās not even about the donut. Itās about the fact that I need to feel in control of my diet. I need to feel like I make my own decisions. I know his intentions are good. He was worried I would fall off and spiral again, as I have in the past and then end up stalling in my weight loss which would then upset me. He says he ultimately wants me to be happy and just didnāt want to see me go down this road again. He was trying to prevent the unhappiness he potentially saw me going through in the near future. I get that heās not being controlling and malicious like my parents were, but it still rubs me the wrong way. I donāt even wanna eat anymore. Like Iām done. As stupid as it sounds, if he doesnāt want me to eat a donut then I donāt need to eat at all.
TL;DR: Husband refused to buy me a donut so Iāve decided to go back to fasting because Iām an idiot.
[Discussion] Does anyone else think about how they could probably win a competitive eating contest?
/u/Sockapoodledoo [5'4 | CW: 125 | GW: 115 | 25F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 16:49:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99hz4k/does_anyone_else_think_about_how_they_could/
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Iām pretty sure I could go into binge mode and just decimate the competition.
My stomach is a dark bottomless pit.
I think about this often.
so i got to a point where i never wanted to be
/u/-sadgarden [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Wed Aug 22 16:41:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99hww9/so_i_got_to_a_point_where_i_never_wanted_to_be/
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i binged because i knew i could purge it afterwards.
not long ago i was diagnosed with AN, and it was pretty acurate at the time. sure i had like one binge per week but that was bc i lost control due to fasting/hard restricting the rest of the time.
i knew i shouldnt try to purge anything since i get addicted so easily. ofc i tried to anyway. sometimes youre gonna do ANYTHING to get rid of the guilt...
and ofc the first 10-20 times nothing came up. but sadly you get the hang of it after enought tries.
but i still limited myself to only doing it in extreme emergencies.
but right now is a very hard time for me. and im also now a month clean from selfharm. so i needed something to lessen the pain.
what the heck i thought. im just gonna buy some icecream and other stuff and puke it up later.
i only noticed what was happening when i got back from the store. i would have bouth anything if i wouldnt be able to purge. i wouldnt have allowed myself the tons of calories.
so i only caved bc i could get rid of it later.
this sucks. even the most disordered corner of my mind sees this as bad since you ingest a small portion of the food before it comes back out. even if its like 10%, it still is more than the 0 calories that would have entered my body otherwise.
im so exhausted. ive literally gone until my knees gave out and i collapsed in front of thr toilet. 2 minutes more and i would have had a blackout.
and now i sit here, and the only thing i regret is that i dont know if i got everything out.
im down this slippery slope and i dont know how the brakes work. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I hate when guys only take my shirt off
/u/Jtgonc
Created: Wed Aug 22 15:41:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99hfy0/i_hate_when_guys_only_take_my_shirt_off/
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This probably sounds weird, but does anyone else hate when theyāre hooking up with a guy and they take your shirt off first? Like I think my most unflattering angle is when Iām just wearing a bra and pants, no shirtābecause Iām always afraid I have a muffin top or something. Iād much rather take pants off first or both hahahah
Im meeting some friends that i havenāt seen in months and I hope they notice Iāve lost weight
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Wed Aug 22 15:26:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99hbh1/im_meeting_some_friends_that_i_havent_seen_in/
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I feel like whenever Im meeting someone I know I need to make sure they notice how skinny I am. Shock them. And maybe worry about me.
I have isolated myself from all my friends, and losing weight is the only thing that makes me feel joy. I have lost around 4 kilos (8 lbs) since the last time we met and now I am 44 kilos (97 lbs) (im 160 cm/ 5ā3āā btw )
I know if they donāt say anything I will feel bad and starve myself even more. Why do I depend so much on other peopleās comments??!
[Rant/Rave] ed as a weapon i guess idk what to call this
/u/lucaaa7 [5ā8 | 128lb | 19.3 | -57lb | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 22 15:16:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99h8cb/ed_as_a_weapon_i_guess_idk_what_to_call_this/
---
so one of my friends is ignoring me and for whatever reason itās making me want to restrict more
like almost a punishment āoh youāre mad at me and donāt want to talk to me?? then i guess now that iām unsupervised iāll just stop eating and waste awayā
like how fucked up is that?? doesnāt even make sense honestly, when he does start talking to me again he wonāt think that itās his fault or anything (because it isnāt)... heāll just be disgusted by how poorly iām taking care of myself and probably decide to not be my friend anymore anyway because iām so stupid
idk what the point of posting this was i guess. is anyone else here a garbage human being who uses their eating disorder as a fucking manipulation tactic or whatever
[Rant/Rave] ed as a weapon i guess idk what to call this
/u/lucaaa7 [5ā8 | 128lb | 19.3 | -57lb | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 22 15:16:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99h8bx/ed_as_a_weapon_i_guess_idk_what_to_call_this/
---
so one of my friends is ignoring me and for whatever reason itās making me want to restrict more
like almost a punishment āoh youāre mad at me and donāt want to talk to me?? then i guess now that iām unsupervised iāll just stop eating and waste awayā
like how fucked up is that?? doesnāt even make sense honestly, when he does start talking to me again he wonāt think that itās his fault or anything (because it isnāt)... heāll just be disgusted by how poorly iām taking care of myself and probably decide to not be my friend anymore anyway because iām so stupid
idk what the point of posting this was i guess. is anyone else here a garbage human being who uses their eating disorder as a fucking manipulation tactic or whatever
I'm back (with a fun game?)
/u/missmadime [5'6" | CW: oh god | GW: 120| -24lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 15:13:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99h7k8/im_back_with_a_fun_game/
---
So I doubt any of you know/remember me, but I posted quite a bit about 2 years ago? My last post was almost this time last year actually. I was having a complete meltdown because I was about to leave the 3rd world country I had been living in for the past 3 years, and the amazing weight-losing-lowcal-fasting-vegetarian-ana-mia-diet I had dedicatedly cultivated (which brought me from 210 to 150 in just a few months) was probably going to go out the window the second I landed in the Land of Poutine. You all lovingly assured me it wouldn't, and gave me tips on how to combat it. (kisses)
Well I suck and I inhaled the entirety of both Texas and Canada in the span of like 5 months, gained probably 30+ lbs back, and lost all control over my life. (Lots of tears)
BUT I AM BACK BITCHES AND BETTER THAN EVER. I am happy to say, in the past 3 months I have gotten all my beautiful control back and am where I was a year ago! (and maybe even a little better? I have no scale now)
I am usually fasting 23 out of 24 hours now, and eat a (<800cal) protein and vitamin rich meal the one time I do eat (ok or vodka, sue me, my apartment is over a liquor store) and am actually exercising!!
That brings me to the fun part! So these past two weeks I've really ramped up the amount of workouts I've been doing and now do my routine 2-3 times a day. (instead of once every few days when I found effort)
How? Pokemon Go. But not like you think.
I made my device able to spoof location services in the game, and now I walk around with an on-screen joystick. Because that ended up defeating most of the game's point (beyond my need to Catch 'em All) I turned it into a better game: every Pokemon I caught would earn me 10 situps/pushups/squats/whatever. So I made a list of exercises, set my joystick on auto and 'walked'. When a Pokemon popped up, I caught it, and as I was auto-walking to the next place I was doing 10 sit ups in real life. I then added extra challenges, like "for every thrown ball that misses, add 5 reps" or "beat a gym - push yourself 4 reps past your most tired" or "catch a starter, do x move 15 times", that kind of stuff. For whatever reason, it's actually working on my lazy ass and I haven't missed a day's workout since I started (almost 3 weeks ago?), So maybe other people would enjoy it too? Maybe we can do it together.
Setting up spoofing is kind of a hassle though, but there's a whole subreddit dedicated to helping with that (and I can help)
But anyways, I wanted to say hi again and see if that helped anyone, and if y'all have any other ways of making working out fun post them here! :)
[Rant/Rave] Looking at pictures from my last bad patch...
/u/ThrowPotential
Created: Wed Aug 22 15:02:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99h49a/looking_at_pictures_from_my_last_bad_patch/
---
...and wishing I could look like that again.
I know I was super unhealthy and unwell, especially mentally back then. Then I went on antidepressants and started binging without restricting, and both of those pushed me back up into the overweight range.
I want to be thin again. So badly.
My phone fell through my thigh gap and into the toilet.
/u/guavvva [5'0 | 95 | babymilf š]
Created: Wed Aug 22 15:00:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99h3vm/my_phone_fell_through_my_thigh_gap_and_into_the/
---
F
[Rant/Rave] I have to get a LEEP procedure done next month. I'm terrified. My ED is out of control.
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Wed Aug 22 14:47:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99gzzu/i_have_to_get_a_leep_procedure_done_next_month_im/
---
Hey, guys. (5'2, 95lbs, 24yo, female, I cant post stats on mobile).I posted about a month ago that I had abnormal cells come back on a pap smear and had to get a colposcopy. Well, turns out it's worse than I thought and instead of doing the colposcopy, they're gonna do a LEEP procedure in a month.
I'm fucking terrified. I cant stop binging but then I get really anxious like today and i have absolutely no desire to eat anything. I feel nauseous and I've been crying all day. When they weighed me at the doctor appointment for the colposcopy yesterday I was up 5 lbs so that's great!! I am losing control of everything and I feel like shit and I want to be 90lbs again.
[Help] How do I stop feeling like I'm 'missing out' on food?
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6.5" | 111 | 17.6 | GW: 105 | F | LW: 109]
Created: Wed Aug 22 14:46:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99gzp0/how_do_i_stop_feeling_like_im_missing_out_on_food/
---
Okay, hear me out:
I'm back at home until January of 2019, maybe even August 2019. Due to a variety of circumstances, I'm living with my parents again (I'm in my mid-20s) for a year. I've been here for a little while and have mostly adjusted, but I'm struggling with my weight loss and it's making me incredibly anxious. I'm sooo close to my goal weight. Parents are gracious enough to be providing food and a roof while I gather grad school funds, but, not being responsible for my food has had some weird side effects.
1. **Anxious about family meals.** I'm happy to eat with my family -- we're very close-knit -- but I get anxious about not knowing the calories. I've adjusted to skipping when possible due to other out-of-the-house commitments. When I am home, I can just take one small serving, and I'm fine. So I've mostly dealt with this, but still get weird.
2. **Limited quantity of foods in house**. This is the biggest one. We've always had a variety of protein bars in the house, but I struggle with them not being 'mine.' If I don't eat it, I know someone in the house will, and then I feel irrationally upset because I didn't get a chance to have it. Never mind that more will be in the house on the next grocery trip (assuming it was on sale, because we only buy protein bars when they're on sale). This happens with the bagels I like, yogurts, soups, etc. They have the macros I like or I'm really looking forward to them, but then, BAM, they're gone if I don't enjoy them quickly. So I feel the need to eat a lot of these items despite me not being hungry because I'm afraid they'll be gone when I DO want them.
3. **Lack of regular schedule**. Solution: Create regular schedule. I'm getting there, doing lots of volunteer/intern work now that positions have opened up for the fall. BUT, now how do I prevent brain fog? Ideas? Thoughts?
4. **Sugar-free vs sugared items**. I bought myself some SF syrups, almond milks, but I'm afraid this makes my parents more wary. Also, I'm finding I don't really care for them and prefer skim milk when it comes down to it. Mentally, I'm finding it difficult to switch back to higher calorie products.
Sorry this is disjointed. I'm having difficulty putting my thoughts into words, so please ask questions if I'm unclear! I just really want some advice on how to especially deal with number 2, and any thoughts are welcome.
Lunch ideas other than salads/vegetables (that look normal but are low in calories)
/u/thebarryalien
Created: Wed Aug 22 14:40:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99gxyp/lunch_ideas_other_than_saladsvegetables_that_look/
---
Ideally easily portable and doesn't require too much prep.
Any ideas guys?
​
[Discussion] Anybody else get a weird burst of energy during a fast?
/u/Nutellapples
Created: Wed Aug 22 14:04:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99gna4/anybody_else_get_a_weird_burst_of_energy_during_a/
---
I mean I get moody and sad when I'm fasting and I'm constantly in pain but I get a weird burst of energy and can study and do things way better when I fast 20+ hours . This also happens when I haven't slept for 30 hours or more. I just start thinking and acting differently. Everything becomes clearer and better somehow? But then I always binge after a fast so it all goes away and gets replaced by pain and non stop eating.
I have to go to the doctors tomorrow.
/u/honeybruises
Created: Wed Aug 22 14:01:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99gm9w/i_have_to_go_to_the_doctors_tomorrow/
---
I have a yearly check up and that means I have to be weighed. I am dreading it so much and Iām incredibly nervous for it. I really donāt want to be weighed and have people see my weight.
[Rant/Rave] Iām finally underweight again !
/u/rainesaway
Created: Wed Aug 22 14:01:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99gm7t/im_finally_underweight_again/
---
I ārecoveredā from my ED last summer and started seriously restricting again about 2 months ago. Iām so proud of myself because I am now down to 106.2 !! Just thought Iād share while Iām still feeling good about myself.
[Help] can you ask to not be weighed? (underage. diagnosed)
/u/monsterputt
Created: Wed Aug 22 13:58:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99gl7p/can_you_ask_to_not_be_weighed_underage_diagnosed/
---
i dont want to be weighed on friday (im at a healthy weight, it shows, dr knows my bod.)
​
im a minor and diagnosed with ed so its a follow up on that. i really dont want to step on the scale, i dont want to just "look away" i dont want anyone to know. please reply ;v; thanks
Anyone doing keto?
/u/Linnaliis
Created: Wed Aug 22 13:53:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99gjqh/anyone_doing_keto/
---
Thinking of trying vegetarian keto, but not sure if I am going to manage the amount of fat... Anyone here done keto on a long term scale or otherwise? I'd like to hear your experience :)
[Help] Who here has two or more scales?
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 119 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Wed Aug 22 13:33:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99gdqh/who_here_has_two_or_more_scales/
---
I feel like my current is unreliable because I once held a 5 pound weight and I measured it as like 2 or 3 pounds more. How can I be sure my scale is accurate?
Reliable Way to Predict Daily Weight Fluctuation
/u/bigcahunalife [5'5" | CW: :( | GW:112 | UGW:101]
Created: Wed Aug 22 13:26:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99gbjm/reliable_way_to_predict_daily_weight_fluctuation/
---
Sorry if this is an insanely obvious method to everyone but me, but it just occurred to me and I wanted to share it.
Like many people, I have a bad habit of weighing myself periodically throughout the day. My weight always fluctuates by 1-5 lbs, which stresses me out a lot wondering if I really gained or if it's just the beverages I've consumed between weigh-ins.
Well, I've been fasting for today and it just occurred to me that I already know the weight of water... I could just measure everything that I drink, calculate what the weight of it should be, and add that to my initial morning weight.
Let me tell you - what a fucking relief this has been for me! I've been weighing myself every two hours and counting up the weight of the water that I've drank during that time, and it's been nearly spot on to what I've gained during the same interval. The only trouble is that it's hard to eyeball the volume/weight of what you're peeing out, but that almost makes it nicer because if I just don't subtract it then I'm always below what I've calculated.
Just wanted to share for anyone who also gets stressed out about daily fluctuations.
You can also calculate your "real" weight by taking your dehydrated weight when you first get up in the morning, adding 2 kg (4.4 lb), and dividing by two. Since, yknow, 8 cups of water is 2 L = 2 kg, which is what you're meant to drink over the course of the day, so I would say your "real" weight would be smack dab between your dehydrated & fully hydrated states.
3 days difference-I'm squealing!
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Wed Aug 22 12:55:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99g242/3_days_differenceim_squealing/
---
https://i.redd.it/g0xjl9suyoh11.jpg
[Help] ADHD medications and ED - Help! Freaking out
/u/cloudsofdawn [5'6.5' | 169cm | 129lbs | 20.5 | ā]
Created: Wed Aug 22 12:53:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99g1h0/adhd_medications_and_ed_help_freaking_out/
---
Iām freaking out and I need advice.
I got diagnosed with ADHD just over a week ago and started Vyvanse. Itās a newer drug and harder to abuse than Aderall but has the same side effects - one of them being weight loss and appetite loss.
The drug for the most part works instantly. Itās changed my life already so much. I have way more energy instead of the constant fatigue, I have focus and I am getting SO MUCH shit done. Iām really happy and excited with it.
Bonus is that it has helped me eat a ton less. Iām barely hungry and donāt even really think of food. The medication is also used to treat Binge eating, so thatās probably why.
Iām 5ā6.5ā and my weigh in this morning was 122.4lbs. I want to get down to at least 110, or 100 depending on how happy I am.
I told my psychiatrist I was 5ā6ā, as I know he treats eating disorders and is part of an ED clinic and he said if I lost too much weight too fast / became underweight, he would pull the drug. At 5ā6ā this means I can get down to 114.5 and be just at 18.5, just the line where underweight and normal meet. I still donāt know if he would pull it then or not. I think he already suspects I have an eating disorder or knows I have one due to my questions. My normal weight is around 116, so itās just below that anyways. All my body is fat tho and I have barely any muscle so any weight I do lose is fat anyways.
He didnāt weigh me today but I water loaded and wore heavy clothes and layers just in case.
I have no idea what else to do. I might get a weighted vest but I donāt know what clothes are heavier or how to hide weighted things (especially ankle weights) and Iām just freaking the fuck out overall. I know he will notice it in my face and stuff and donāt know how to get away with that either.
He said itās common for people with a healthy BMI to feel unhappy about their bodies. He wants to make sure Iām getting enough wait and if I have to restrict or be hungry to maintain a weight thatās not where I should be or my body balances out. I told him my normal weight is around 116/117 and ranges up to around 120, and he said thatās borderline underweight.
Iām freaking the fuck out. I donāt want this medication to be pulled because itās helping me so much and Iām going back to school for the first time in years. I donāt want to stop losing weight. I donāt want to have to go to ED treatment either and do all the food diaries and planning and self love BS.
My next meeting with him is September 21.
Please help me I donāt know what to do and Iām literally panicking so much and feel like Iāll end up having some huge panic attacks over this. Holy fuck
TL;DR : Psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADHD and put me on meds, meds are changing my life for the better, he thinks my normal weight is borderline underweight, since a side effect is weight loss he will pull the med if I become underweight or too close to it, he also treats eating disorders at an ED clinic and has run studies on it, Iām freaking out that this new miracle cure medication will get pulled because I wonāt stop losing weight (and he weighs me now because of it), and have no clue what to do in weigh ins or how to cope with this and be able to still lose while not getting the med pulled. Panicking super hard over it.
Damn, this sucks. It definitely never gets easier
/u/AERIALFAM123
Created: Wed Aug 22 12:52:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99g188/damn_this_sucks_it_definitely_never_gets_easier/
---
Hey all,
I'm 23, and I have been a recovering bulimic for 4 years now. I have regained my mental strength and I eat well, stay away from trigger foods, whatever, until recently.
I threw up once because I just felt like I was too full. I felt better then it just triggered me and I went hard for the whole month of July. My old thoughts came back and I immediately got back into all old habits.
Earlier this month I decided I needed to stop and that I'd give myself 21 days to stop, because I've read that it is (roughly) how long it takes to form a habit (i've read 30 days, longer - I just decided to shoot for 21). I made it yesterday and i celebrated with a LARGE back tattoo. I thought i'd be happy by now. I thought that maybe that negative voice telling me that i'm ugly and fat would be gone but its not. I cant talk to my friends about it because some are incredible and super supportive but they just don't quite understand and others just tell me to stop and that what i do is "Disgusting". ya. ok. very helpful. thank you very much.
I hate that I know what it feels to just LOVE myself but I just cant right now. I'm constantly looking in the mirror and seeing if i look skinny, or hopping on the scale EVERY morning to see if i've gained or lost weight since i've stopped and being so scared to see the number go up. I'm stronger than this, so why am i struggling so hard.
needed to vent. thanks guys
Any runners have tips? Getting ready for a marathon.
/u/MailingMaize
Created: Wed Aug 22 12:42:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99fy7i/any_runners_have_tips_getting_ready_for_a_marathon/
---
I've never posted here before, but I've lurked for a while. I have years of disordered eating under my belt but had been living like a normal human for the past year before a recent relapse. I've gotten into running and am signed up for a marathon in a month. I'm running ~40 miles a week and have been restricting down to ~300-1000 cals/day recently. It's getting really hard to finish my runs.
I'd consider just dropping the running but now everyone knows me as the girl who runs and it would be suspicious, but so would passing out on the course
I guess I know I need to eat more to sustain the running but I don't know if I can bear to. Anyone want to share your tips/personal stories?
Damn, this sucks. Definitely never gets better
/u/AERIALFAM123
Created: Wed Aug 22 12:40:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99fxkh/damn_this_sucks_definitely_never_gets_better/
---
Hey all,
I'm 23, and I have been a recovering bulimic for 4 years now. I have regained my mental strength and I eat well, stay away from trigger foods, whatever, until recently.
I threw up once because I just felt like I was too full. I felt better then it just triggered me and I went hard for the whole month of July. My old thoughts came back and I immediately got back into all old habits.
Earlier this month I decided I needed to stop and that I'd give myself 21 days to stop, because I've read that it is (roughly) how long it takes to form a habit (i've read 30 days, longer - I just decided to shoot for 21). I made it yesterday and i celebrated with a LARGE back tattoo. I thought i'd be happy by now. I thought that maybe that negative voice telling me that i'm ugly and fat would be gone but its not. I cant talk to my friends about it because some are incredible and super supportive but they just don't quite understand and others just tell me to stop and that what i do is "Disgusting". ya. ok. very helpful. thank you very much.
I hate that I know what it feels to just LOVE myself but I just cant right now. I'm constantly looking in the mirror and seeing if i look skinny, or hopping on the scale EVERY morning to see if i've gained or lost weight since i've stopped and being so scared to see the number go up. I'm stronger than this, so why am i struggling so hard.
needed to vent. thanks guys
[Other] I dont belong here and i dont now why im lying to myself
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Wed Aug 22 12:35:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99fw5b/i_dont_belong_here_and_i_dont_now_why_im_lying_to/
---
I dont belong here.
ive only lost 20lbs in 4 months.
I cant even do a 24 hour fast.
I dont exercise.
I dont deserve yall.
[Discussion] Is FitBit Lying to Me?
/u/sagittorius
Created: Wed Aug 22 12:32:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99fv7h/is_fitbit_lying_to_me/
---
Ok, first I must say that I'm recommitting to restriction. I'm done being at the high end of "normal" regarding my weight. I feel like I fucking whale.
​
I've been purging the "extra" but that's just not producing the results that I want to see, so I bought a FitBit, and I am EXTREMELY thrown off by the calories-out estimate.
​
The device says that I have burned a total of 2100 kCal per day, for the two days that I have worn it.
​
I'm kind of freaking out because:
\- I thought that my TDEE was MUCH lower than that
\- I have been eating between 1300-1800 Kcal per day (eating to hunger cues, not making much of an effort to restrict, purging when I notice that I've gone over 1800 kCal) and have not lost any weight for months
\- I think that FitBit might lie to consumers to keep us fat, thereby forcing us continue spending money in the diet industry.
​
A bit of background:
I'm 5'3", weigh 135 lbs, don't work out much, but walk a lot because live in the city and don't have a car (10,000+ steps per day).
​
Thoughts?
​
[Other] EC Stacking - Normal to feel like death?
/u/Hollyfoot [5ā9ā | 95lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 22 12:21:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99frvb/ec_stacking_normal_to_feel_like_death/
---
Hi!
Took a bronkaid and slammed a lot of coffee at the same time and my chest feels like itās going to explode. Super twitchy and fidgety. I want to run a marathon and then dig my own grave after the heart attack haha.
Is this normal? Because this is a horrible feeling. 0/10
i took 75 lax i feel like im dying
/u/relativeletter6 [161cm | 57.0kg | gw 50kg]
Created: Wed Aug 22 12:09:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99fo52/i_took_75_lax_i_feel_like_im_dying/
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ive never been in somuch pain in my life ive been vomiting up atomach bile for an hour and i am genuinelt considering shooting myself to make this pain stop please what te fuck
how ling will this hurt for when will it sotp ive take. Them before bur never so many i regret y fukcing life
[RAVE] Thank god for intermittent fasting
/u/saptashati [5'6" | 153.6 | 24.6 | 26.4 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 11:59:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99fkr8/rave_thank_god_for_intermittent_fasting/
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Now when I donāt eat lunch at work I can just tell people I am intermittently fasting and no one bothers me about my eating habits! Itās perfect!! I love that thereās a new trend that āhealthyā people do that I can co-opt and make it seem like I am healthy too.
When you post on /r/rateme to force yourself into relapse.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 11:56:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99fjub/when_you_post_on_rrateme_to_force_yourself_into/
---
Lol why am I doing this again?
How do you shrink leggings?
/u/TW7282020273738
Created: Wed Aug 22 11:42:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ffqk/how_do_you_shrink_leggings/
---
I don't need them shrinked a lot just a lil, any advice??
Double standards
/u/invincibletitan33 [5'4.5 | 52kg | F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 11:42:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ffqb/double_standards/
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So my mum just came up to my room, saw me sitting on the floor and she says "you should sit up properly and not hunched over because..." then mimed with her hands like when you hunch over and your stomach fat bunches up.
So I said "maybe you should look at yourself" and then she gets mad and upset and starts crying and saying that I'm such a mean bad person?!
She literally goes on about how I'm so hurtful.
So I said "so you're basically calling me fat, and you don't see how that might have hurt my feelings, yet if I say something back **I** am the one that's said something hurtful"?!?!
FFS. My mum and I never argue, and I basically never see her cry and she doesn't get emotional over nothing, so one half of me feels really bad, but the other half of me is so fucking pissed off.
Firstly, thanks for basically implying that I'm fat, my BMI is on the lower end of normal...and secondly you're the one that's overweight and I'm not allowed to call you out on it?!
[Discussion] DAE
/u/createusernamehard
Created: Wed Aug 22 11:28:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99fbao/dae/
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Okay so this certainly isnāt my first go round with EDs but Iāve been so stressed with dying family member among a fuck ton of other things.. I canāt remember if this is how I felt before, but I havenāt been eating shit like at all. When I wake up, it feels like I hit the gym hard the day before. (And actually I used to over exercise whether purging or starving so I always woke up sore lol) Iām assuming Iām just dehydrated. I donāt need to be preached at. I know the risks. Even more so the risks of not finding a way to cope with my stress and that leads to a bottle of Xanax, so not eating for a a few weeks is probably better in the end. I just canāt remember if I felt like this before or if Iāve been getting a shitās night sleep? Could be a combo. Input?
stop telling me what I need to do with my body
/u/onthesolesofhershoes [5'8 | HW: 230 | LW: 123 | CW: 155 | GW: 140 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 11:28:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99fb79/stop_telling_me_what_i_need_to_do_with_my_body/
---
if I want to be skinny, I will be, and stop trying to tell me I am when I am a huge rolling blob pulled around by only tendons and a sense of obligation to appear normal-enough for you.
stop telling me I "don't need to lose any more weight" because I didn't ever care if you thought I needed to lose weight to begin with.
I'll never be a tiny fragile breakable scary-delicate fairy princess with these giant slabs of fat drooping on my bones, and I'll never be one at all BECAUSE I AM TOO TALL I WILL ONLY EVER BE A HULKING MONSTRESS BEAST so at least let me lose weight until I am sharp and untouchable and skeletal like a banshee and then I will scream and scream and scream until my cheeks are hollow.
stop telling me I'm small enough, Helen, because it isn't your body and you don't know what I want out of it.
[Help] Low libido
/u/hungryhippocrit
Created: Wed Aug 22 11:25:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99fae9/low_libido/
---
I'm struggling. My relationship is suffering because of it. If any of you have tips for overcoming low libido please share!
[Discussion] DAE plan their restriction around a binge?
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 11:10:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99f5qs/dae_plan_their_restriction_around_a_binge/
---
Iāve been at this long enough to know a binge is inevitable for me. Sometimes itās once a week, sometimes every two, but at some point Iām gonna have a very high cal day. And this can range from 1700-2500. So at this point Iāve stopped freaking out when it happens and I just compensate (w a fast or a few low restriction days ) the rest of the time. And as much as Iād prefer to just restrict perfectly all the time, I got to my low weight doing this, so is it really that big of a deal? The reality is an overeating day is not the end of the world for anyone, but especially if your averaging 1000 calories or less the rest of the time.
[Rant/Rave] Losertown makes me realise how small changes can make huge differences
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Wed Aug 22 11:10:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99f5ny/losertown_makes_me_realise_how_small_changes_can/
---
I don't know if this is a good or bad to know. Like if I ate around 1000 instead of 1200 I'd be in the 120s 1 almost 2 months sooner. Or if I ate only a few hundred over maintenance I'd gain 25 pounds in a year D: . i know bodies aren't exact calculations but it's easy to see how small the margin is to effect something one way or another.
Guys, I took of a picture of myself and for the first time I don't think I look fat in it
/u/3cats_in_atrenchcoat
Created: Wed Aug 22 11:03:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99f3j1/guys_i_took_of_a_picture_of_myself_and_for_the/
---
I know this sounds so stupid and conceited but I don't really care I'm happy
ED with pets
/u/lexielou48 [5'9 | 125 | 18 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 10:55:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99f0tq/ed_with_pets/
---
****Disclaimer: I'm not starving my cat or anything, please read the whole thing. My kitty is perfectly happy and healthy
So my roommate and I both have a cat. My roommates cat is old, lazy, and really fat. My cat is younger, super active, and normal size. It freaks me out when I see my roommates cat. I try not to push my ED onto my cat, but it's so hard. I don't want my cat to end up like that. Yesterday, my cat went to my roommates cat food bowl and I picked her up and brought her back to where her own food bowl is. I do the same if my roommates cat comes to my cats food bowl. I know a healthy amount to give my cat and I want to keep it at that.
Do any of you deal with this also? It's such an odd and specific thing so I thought I'd ask about it here
Does anyone else ever suspect that their ED stunted their height?
/u/ConsistentWing [recovered | 5'7.5", maybe?]
Created: Wed Aug 22 10:54:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99f0hp/does_anyone_else_ever_suspect_that_their_ed/
---
I had ED between 13-16 and didn't grow much in those years.
[Help] First successful 48 hr fast
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 10:54:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99f0hf/first_successful_48_hr_fast/
---
So I successfully completed my first 48 hr fast. Broke my fast w a ~700 cal Keto OMAD. Had about 150 cal worth of nuts about an hour later (so not OMAD lol). I wasnāt hungry for more. Iām not hungry today either. But not being hungry is giving me anxiety. Iām scared itās all gonna hit me at once and Iām gonna binge. I have a meal planned for if it happens but my contingency plans have never worked before. Any tips? Iām doing OMAD today too, should I try to force myself to eat a bit more or just go with my appetite? Low restriction isnāt really my goal bc i lose fine at 1200 but im trying to avoid binging. Iām thinking of maybe buying a few single serve almond butter and just using those to up my cals? Any advice?
[Other] I want to look sick
/u/nirvanaandsilence
Created: Wed Aug 22 10:53:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99f0f9/i_want_to_look_sick/
---
I can't stand looking healthy. I need to be pale and gaunt. I want to look tired and worn out. I love having dark circles around my eyes. I want my old, torn clothes to hang loosely off my malnourished body. I want to look as worthless as I feel, if that makes sense. Almost homeless, or fatally I'll. I don't really want to be attractive.
I secretly hope people will make negative comments about my body. "She looks like a corpse" or "Someone get her a burger" something like that you know
Treating exercise like binging
/u/Bakedalaska1 [5'5.5" | 128.4 | GW:120]
Created: Wed Aug 22 10:33:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99euct/treating_exercise_like_binging/
---
A post I saw inspired me to think about things differently and it's been helping me a lot, so I thought I'd share. The post (not sure which subreddit) was about binging and how the person was giving in to the urge to end the compulsive thoughts rather than to have the food.
I relate to that a lot, so I've started trying to use that thought process positively. I'm an anxious person, and not one who commonly works out. I've started trying to do strong curves and I use the anxiety about the gym as motivation. If I tell myself I will go to the gym, I obsess and put it off. Now I tell myself, "the thoughts and anxiety will end if you just go". It's much nicer to get it over with than feel anxious and guilty all evening while I procrastinate.
Not sure how long this trick will last, but it's nice to feel like I'm doing something good for once.
What's your current deadline for a GW or UGW and why did you pick that?
/u/aerienne [5'4" | CW: 144.3 | UGW 115 | 25/F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 10:28:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99esn5/whats_your_current_deadline_for_a_gw_or_ugw_and/
---
I'm going to Paris in exactly 72 days. I'll be there for a week. I lived there before and just wanted to go 'home' for a bit and have some 'me' time. My birthday is in 73 days.
I have just over 2 months. Honestly, I'd be happy if I was at 130. That's easy in 2 months. If I follow my plan of 1200 cals each day and no fasting or strenuous exercise, I could be in the 120s easier by then.
My reasons to be at a GW by then:
* I'm meeting a friend from the internet who has never seen me. I don't want his first impression to be 'ewww'.
* I want to be mistaken for Parisian. I have the fashion/hair/etc down, but my body doesn't say 'chic' at 144.
* I'm turning 26. I've promised myself for years that I won't enter another year of my life fat. I think hitting 126 at 26 would be nice.
* I want to be comfortable and not pulling at my clothes or fidgeting in my layers. It'll be colder and I used to just wear a tank top under my coat because too many clothes made me feel huge.
What are you working towards right now?
on purging
/u/just-a-mess [15 | ftm | bulimic in quasi recovery | parents hid the scale]
Created: Wed Aug 22 10:25:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99erxy/on_purging/
---
I can feel it in the pit of my stomach, dragging me down, making each step unless itās in the direction of the nearest bathroom almost impossible. I can feel the carbs dissolving in my stomach, being broken down into simple sugars and carted around my body via my blood, powering my cells to just simply get through another day.
And I despise it.
I can feel the rock in my stomach, and I know how easy it would be to unlodge. Donāt mind the spit that would drip off my hand, the burning in my throat, the pain in my chest from the effort of heaving my stomachās contents in the pearly porcelain throne Iāve leaned over oh so many times.
I donāt know how I even resist.
cucumber
/u/httpram
Created: Wed Aug 22 10:24:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99erok/cucumber/
---
MAN i love cucumber... itās so good and we grow them in our greenhouse!! we get little mini ones i swear theyre so good its like crack.
[Rant/Rave] I binged and purged and binged again after a 38 hour fast :,(
/u/milk-and-honie
Created: Wed Aug 22 10:20:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99eqbr/i_binged_and_purged_and_binged_again_after_a_38/
---
I feel like shit. I didnāt have an excuse to binge. I was midway through my third day of water fasting and fucked up craving sugar and carbs. I should have ignored it but NO I had to go and ruin it for myself.
I binged pop tarts and some animal crackers and two marshmallows, and a soda (just fucking chugged it. Disgusting). Like 900 right? Not so bad! This is in the span of literally 1 minute.
I wait maybe two or three minutes before I immediately feel incredibly nauseous and force myself to purge - my middle finger was literally scraping on my teeth with the force of it. I feel like I threw up quite a lot but definitely not all of it - it was really compressed, Iām sure it was because it was carb-foods and also because my stomach couldnāt accommodate everything.
Then itās back to the kitchen, where I scarf down a handful and a half of crunchy mint M&Ms, two mini snickers and some macaroni and cheese, and some Layās chips. Iām overestimating because I just put down a whole cup of the m&ms but it literally brought my intake to 2100 today. In the span of ten minutes. I would purge again but my throat is raw and painful from the first time. My stomach is already gurgling and sounding incredibly unhappy.
But I weighed myself and Iām still 178 after purging and after eating again? Shocker. Canāt wait for it to be 200 tomorrow after how fat a pig I just was.
I am going to cry
/u/runner_618 [5'5 | CW 117.6 lbs | HW 126.6 lbs | LW 101 lbs | GW 105 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 10:07:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99em94/i_am_going_to_cry/
---
I haven't binged since Saturday. On Sunday I ran 8 miles and restricted. Monday, Tuesday, yesterday I restricted and ran 4-6 miles plus logged extra time in the gym. The scale said 117.6 when I stepped on it yesterday. I just got back from a WORKOUT and IT EFFING SAYS 118.4 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK. I am never going to lose this weight. I was down to 113 in May and now I am just gaining. I WANT TO CRY
Day wasted maybe.
/u/dorisholliday
Created: Wed Aug 22 10:01:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ekik/day_wasted_maybe/
---
Maybe I'll feel better soon.
I sat down to do coursework this morning and I suddenly started feeling very ill-- dizzy, nauseous, mind fog. I kind of thought maybe it was because I ate breakfast and I'm not quite used to eating much these days (or keeping it down), so I figured I'd feel better after I purged! Lmao it didn't really help. Imagine that.
Then I realized... it's because I forgot take my Lamictal last night. I took it right away (30ish mins ago), so I guess I'm hoping when it kicks in, I'll feel better.
I have loads and loads of schoolwork to get down before this weekend. I was planning on spending the day at the library, away from distractions. Now it's already 11am and I don't know if I'll make it. My mind is so foggy still, I can't focus for shit.
I'm definitely just venting/complaining here. Thanks for being a place I can comfortable do that. <3
How do you define a binge cycle?
/u/birdsbirdsbirds339 [25F| 160cm | gw1: 137 | -24]
Created: Wed Aug 22 10:01:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ek6m/how_do_you_define_a_binge_cycle/
---
Is it binging every day? or is it a period where you're binging more than x times a week?
last night was a pretty bad one and idk i guess im trying to take my mind off how bloated and awful i'm feeling rn. Gotta compensate today so i gotta go fast!!!!!! :(
Binged at night then pushed myself too hard at hot yoga the next morn and almost died...
/u/LocalPiglet
Created: Wed Aug 22 09:45:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99efmq/binged_at_night_then_pushed_myself_too_hard_at/
---
Thought I could work off some of the damage I did last night by taking an early morning hot yoga bootcamp class, holy frig was I wrong. I was fine the first half of the class and then all of a sudden, I wasnāt. Severe stomach cramps, instant nausea/vomiting (all that came out was the 0 cal preworkout I drank before class unfortunately) and crazy bowel movements.
Life pro tip: donāt do this.
I think it was a mixture of dehydration from being in a hot yoga room and doing hiit and still being uncomfortably full from the binge the night before.
Never again...
[Rant/Rave] I feel like everyone is thin and losing weight but me
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Wed Aug 22 09:39:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99edko/i_feel_like_everyone_is_thin_and_losing_weight/
---
Iām 65ā and like 116/117. I feel so fat and itās worse that I have to see thin girls at school. My goal is 105, and I feel like Iām just stagnating. Not losing anything meanwhile everyone is skinnier and still losing. I feel like Iāll never get to my goal weight. I eat 300-600 calories a day and have to walk around campus. Itās just so frustrating, trapped in this body.
[Rant/Rave] Can I just give a shoutout to espresso macchiatos and how wonderful they are!
/u/demonofequality [5'5"| CW: 125 | GW: 115 | 21.05 | -25 lbs| F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 09:06:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99e3u6/can_i_just_give_a_shoutout_to_espresso_macchiatos/
---
These are my favorite thing to drink when I EC stack. A double is 25 calories and there is 150mg of caffeine. Plus because it doesn't taste as bitter as just plain espresso its actually enjoyable!
It was worth it.
/u/kenziejb42
Created: Wed Aug 22 08:59:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99e1uk/it_was_worth_it/
---
17f
Havenāt been eating any more than I absolutely need. not even hungry anymore. I stood up in 1st period and I heard 2 girls gossiping saying they wished they were as skinny as me. They commented on my collar bones popping out and said they wish they had some. What a great day to start the day.
[Help] guys please help me
/u/clemintide
Created: Wed Aug 22 08:59:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99e1tg/guys_please_help_me/
---
iām getting drunk off cheap vodka while my boyfriend sleeps bc he supports my alcoholism and eating eating disorder iām so hungry but iām scared to eat calories in front of him i like to fuck up my life also i am drunk i am so soi ry if this is inappropriate but i donāt start therapy until september but i think i need a psych ward bc
iām
tucking crazy and cannot b sob r with my boyfriend i end SORRY OK
Iliza Elder: Millennial. Hilarious stand up. Stand up post in general.
/u/Sidehothrowaway [f | 31 | 142lbs lost | GW ?]
Created: Wed Aug 22 08:55:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99e0ip/iliza_elder_millennial_hilarious_stand_up_stand/
---
She got me. I'm fucking dying. She's fucking hilarious. My situation has been pretty bad lately and I get stuck in research cycles were I just dig into nutrition and get more and more terrified of everything. Forced myself out of it yesterday mainly because I overdosed on laxatives (I wish I could throw up at this point in my life) and barely made it through "meet the teacher" wealth my kids without shitting myself. (((Side note on how glamorous eating disorders aren't))). I don't have time for treatmentand laughter is the best medicine so I'm on a stand-up bender.
The kids went back to school today so I'm having a few spiked seltzers,watching stand up all day, and got a exactly 2oz of almond butter out of the hopper at the store for a snack later and GTs Coconut yogurt. Everything is portioned because I just obliterated my system yesterday so no safety issues, but the laxatives need to stop. (Never had a colonoscopy but if I ever do I'm a colonoscopy prep pro). I digress. Gotta boost my mood.
Anyway, stand up is so funny and basically free. Why it hasn't dawned on me sooner to try and use it to boost my mood is beyond me. Especially female stand up. They hit on so many issues. This chick (not into thinspo but the pants she has on are life). It's almost comforting. Seems like with eds we getso hermity that we don't realize that so many other women deal with the same issues and that even though they don't say it out right, the hints drop that similar feelings float around. Stand up just floats those bad feelings in a funny way so they don't feel as heavy. They feel lighter.
[Rant/Rave] I told my boyfriend about everything and now i feel like he's watching me when i eat
/u/SlightWasabi [5'5" | 155 | 25.8 | -25 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 08:41:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99dwh2/i_told_my_boyfriend_about_everything_and_now_i/
---
i've never been diagnosed or anything like that because i hate therapists and i know they won't care anyway because i'm overweight, but i've never had a good relationship with food.
i told my boyfriend about my ""past"" (lmao, read: present) and he said that he was just glad that i felt comfortable enough to open up.
WELL, the other day we went and got KFC and after i ate it, when we were going to bed, i had a full on panic attack because i couldn't stop thinking about all of the damn food i ate. so he knows that it's still a problem for me.
BUT, the boy still grabs my thighs and suggests we eat when i've told him i'm not hungry. dont get me wrong, i love him, but i wish he would stop talking about my body and food. i like spending time with him and i know that means we will have to share meals together and he isn't the type of guy to get salads all the time, or want to eat at a place that does, and i feel like if i eat anything less than at least half of what i get, he's going to lecture me or judge me or something.
this is a communication thing, and i will talk to him at some point but i just want to get it off my chest.
My morning project - portioning/labeling all my food
/u/shipp-solomon
Created: Wed Aug 22 08:39:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99dvxw/my_morning_project_portioninglabeling_all_my_food/
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https://i.redd.it/qq89pcwbpnh11.jpg
Raised anorexic
/u/PrinessSarahAngel
Created: Wed Aug 22 08:14:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99doxw/raised_anorexic/
---
This is my first time posting, hello all! I am wondering if anyone else here grew up anorexic. My mother is/was anorexic my whole life, though we didn't call it that, she was just always on a "diet". My mom never ate meals with the family, but I remember her eating eating peanut butter from the jar at 2 am and excessive exercise routines. She never made me feel fat but always welcomed me to join her on her diet and would allow me to skip eating and constantly told me how many calories she avoided by not eating this or that. I've always restricted, I've always been skinny, I've always had disordered eating habits and everyone just accepts it as I'm picky like my mom. Anorexia is so natural to me I wouldnt know where to begin a normal eating schedule. I have never considered it a problem I need help with and I've never wished for recovery, i like me just the way I am and am proud of my ability to restrict. Was anyone else here raised anorexic? And if so, what was your experience like?
None of my friends noticed my weight loss
/u/Call_me_Cassius [5'5" | CW: š | GW: 98lb | -40lb | M21]
Created: Wed Aug 22 08:02:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99dlgv/none_of_my_friends_noticed_my_weight_loss/
---
I'm in my college marching band. Yesterday was the first day of band camp, and I saw a lot of my section mates for the first time since the season ended in December. I'd seen some of them in the spring, but none since I started successfully losing weight in June. I've lost 45lb. I agonized for hours over what wear for day one to try to garner comments on how much I've lost while still hiding the areas I'm still working on.
No one noticed.
By the end of the day I even casually mentioned it with one of my better friends in the section to see if I could elicit s comment. No luck.
I've had exactly one person notice since I came back out to school. Not my best friend, not my roommates, not my section mates or anyone in the band. Just my advisor. My fucking academic advisor.
I know, objectively, that I lost weight. I watched the scale go down, I watched my measurements go down, I have exactly one article of clothing that fits and it's from the children's section, lots of people back home over the summer commented, noticed. But none of my friends. Even friends I haven't seen in months. Even when I hint at it in conversation. Nothing.
And it makes me feel just as fat as I ever was.
Also I all I ate yesterday was two slices of bread and 50g of broccoli but the scale went up 0.4lb this morning so it's time to die I guess.
[Other] Others around me starting to pick up my (good) habits
/u/WalkingMed
Created: Wed Aug 22 07:45:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99dgr1/others_around_me_starting_to_pick_up_my_good/
---
So I've started exercising and restricting over the last 3/4 weeks but the last week and a half is when I've started getting serious again. Saying no to treats, not going with others to the cafeteria for lunch, actively exercising around uni (since I live there figuratively and literally).
I've noticed a few of the people around me are starting to get into it too, my best guy friend who is also overweight went and joined the gym and started eating salads, my other friend invited me around to do some exercise videos, everyone is asking me about my lunches (frozen fish and veg from the freezer section that takes minutes to zap and it nutritionally dense and very low cal).
It's really great, it makes things a looooot easier. Makes me quite happy today.
b/p cycle will seemingly never end
/u/crisisconvertible
Created: Wed Aug 22 07:27:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99dbti/bp_cycle_will_seemingly_never_end/
---
I've been home alone since sunday and all ive done is binge and purge. I spent over 100$ on food just to literally flush it all down the toilet
Now im bloated and swollen and disgusting and my partner gets back tomorrow AM and i dont even want them to look at me because i feel like a hideous swamp creature even tho i dropped a kg.
i hate how addictive this painful ridiculous bullshit is but will i stop? probs not
sorry to ramble i just needed to rant somewhere where people get it haha
[Other] No food
/u/kahmanee
Created: Wed Aug 22 07:25:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99dba4/no_food/
---
I havenāt eaten since Sunday afternoon and it feels so good lmao I love being dizzy and my vision going black when I stand up. letās see how long I can keep this up. school starts Monday so I want to keep this up as long as I can lmao
[Tip] Black Swan diet adaptation -instead of āsmoking lots of cigarettesā And restricting, Iāve been chewing nicotine gum and restricting
/u/BeginningBarnacle
Created: Wed Aug 22 07:15:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99d8ri/black_swan_diet_adaptation_instead_of_smoking/
---
Iāve never smoked but I admire how much thinner *some* ppl who smoke are.
I was blown away at how much it cuts cravings. And makes me feel really energetic! Itās likely not super healthy but certainly better for my body than smoking. In fact, some body builders swear by it.
Also it comes in different flavours!
Anyone else have a black swan diet experience to share or has tried nicotine gum as an appetite suppressant?
How to Pack Lunch for Work!
/u/strugglebusorbust
Created: Wed Aug 22 06:56:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99d3gl/how_to_pack_lunch_for_work/
---
Please flare rant
1. Wake up extremely hungry because you've been low restricting for the past few days
2. Decide to treat yourself for lunch by bringing a sweet potato. Weigh it. It's only 150 calories!
3. Remember you have vegan chili in the fridge. A 1/4 cup on top would be so yummy... You haven't had a lunch like that in a while.
4. Calculate the calories. You're officially over 200.
5. Panic because that's somehow too much and you don't know what you'll be eating for dinner and what if it's too many calories you have to eat in front of your friends and you won't be able to go to the gym and all of this work will be for nothing etc etc.
6. Decide you just won't eat lunch at all and put that shit back in the fridge.
The End š
Those of you who run: how??
/u/l0seme [5'7" | CW 131.75 | BMI 20.63 | -13.25 | UGW 115 | 21F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 06:41:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99cznb/those_of_you_who_run_how/
---
Hi pls flair as discussion, Iām on my phone
So basically I am soooo unfit and I HATE exercise with a passion. I see some of you guys running like 5 miles a day and I just wish I could do that. I guess Iām just wondering how you got into it, how long did it take you to build up your stamina etc?
(I can just about manage 2 miles on a good day, used to be able to do 4 but then got depressed and did no cardio for two months and now here we are and Iām fat)
fasting at the office today (āā _ā )
/u/hwi__noree [5'6 | 125 | 20.2 | ~ | F | GW: 110]
Created: Wed Aug 22 06:38:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99cyvy/fasting_at_the_office_today/
---
i've been eating at my TDEE/"regular"/not closely tracking (but not binging!).... and i'm so bloated and uncomfortable. i know it's not my ~time o' month~ because that just happened :| ---- i dont even really like fasting (esp at work) but i hate being bloated SOoOo :^) wish me luck!
**never sure if I need to actually give my body a rest or if super disordered**
[Help] Reality Check for me
/u/SmackmyCass [5'3" | CW: 132 | GW 105 | 47F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 06:20:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99cunv/reality_check_for_me/
---
I havenāt been active here in at least 5 mos. I left due to illness. I wanted to check back in. I started at 180lbs in February of 2018.
Here at the end of August I now weigh 108 lbs (ht. 5ā4ā)
Things have been great, not so great, completely sucked and I have been on top of the world.
I have learned that ocd is what drives my weight loss. I am now so sick I worry about dying. I am only 47, I have 3 kids and tons of friends. I donāt know how to fix any of this now.
I am now actively seeking professional help. Once you have achieved a size 0 where else is there to go. Down is no longer an option.
Daily Food Diary! August 22, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 22 06:11:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99csfb/daily_food_diary_august_22_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 22, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday August 22, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 22 06:11:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99csdo/way_to_go_wednesday_august_22_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for August 22, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Help] Whatās the safest thing to do when a scale gives you two weights?
/u/motivation-cat
Created: Wed Aug 22 05:58:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99cp8n/whats_the_safest_thing_to_do_when_a_scale_gives/
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For example, my (mechanical) scale said I weighed 92 lbs the first three times I stepped on it, then said I weighed 91 the rest of the time.
Do I count my weight as 92, 91.5, or 91??? Whatās my safest bet??
[Rant/Rave] I love my dad and it's making everything harder
/u/thinistheonlyway [5ft5 | CW: ??? | GW: 120 | UGW: 115 | 20F]
Created: Wed Aug 22 05:53:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99co9m/i_love_my_dad_and_its_making_everything_harder/
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My dad just got home last night from a trip with my mom. I met him at my parents' house and on the way over I picked up the ginger ale and cookies he likes, some milk and bread and fruit, some zero cal energy drinks for me and so on. I carried all the stuff in my big rucksack and it was so heavy I could barely walk, but I forced myself to carry it the twenty minutes or so to the house - doesn't sound like much, but on 200 cal for the day it was exhausting. He got back and called my mom to let her know he was home safe and kept telling her how well I was looking. On and on. They both do this. "You're looking so well" or "so much better" or "so pretty". He wants to get takeout and watch a movie tonight and I feel like screaming - you want to get takeout, or do you want me to look like this, because I can't have both and neither can you! I love my dad so much but... how can you not see it? How do you not see it? Sorry guys. Thanks for letting me vent.
[Rant/Rave] Iām a Cool Cat
/u/_Pulltab_
Created: Wed Aug 22 05:28:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99cit2/im_a_cool_cat/
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Iāve just spent the last 30 minutes practicing the āspeechā Iām going to text my friend about where we are meeting for lunch because I checked the menu and I canāt even.
āHey - are you open to relocating lunch to xxx or xxxx? Iām not really down for pizza or grinders today.ā
So glad my social anxiety has been behaving itself. š
[Other] Before I lose the high, wanted to document being slightly proud.
/u/shipp-solomon
Created: Wed Aug 22 04:20:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99c582/before_i_lose_the_high_wanted_to_document_being/
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I had my one meal for the day about 10 hours ago (411 calories). After about 4 hours I was getting that āam I hungry or boredā feeling creeping up on me. I tried drinking a bunch of water. I fast completely after the one meal so I couldnāt take anything else. I kept waiting for laxatives I took in the morning to kick in so I could have relief of a BM. Finally, I was able to have some semblance of a BM but that made me want to eat.
I decided to get dressed and go to the 24 hour gym in my apartment building instead (at 2am when I know itās completely dead and I wonāt be looked at or judged). I burned 681 calories instead of giving into my cravings. I feel really good about it but I know itās only a matter of time until I tell myself I didnāt do enough.
Just wanted to document my tiny achievement since I know the feeling wonāt last!
[Other] "I dont do drugs"
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Wed Aug 22 03:31:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99bvx4/i_dont_do_drugs/
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Just coffee, prozac, beta blockers, appitite supressants, EC(A) stacks, tobacco, and more coffee!
[Help] Umm help? I guess
/u/xastromatt
Created: Wed Aug 22 03:17:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99btgv/umm_help_i_guess/
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I guess this is weird to be my first like, real post...
Does anyone else have significant others that completely hate their ādietā and try at every turn to change everything about it? I just want to be left to myself.. is that odd? Please help
[Discussion] Do any of you dream of food/binging and wake up terrified?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Wed Aug 22 02:36:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99bml9/do_any_of_you_dream_of_foodbinging_and_wake_up/
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Whenever I fast I dream of food, its a blessing and a curse.
canabyon call me pls inUSA
/u/clemintide
Created: Wed Aug 22 02:01:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99bgmx/canabyon_call_me_pls_inusa/
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Fuck I just weighed myself
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Wed Aug 22 01:49:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99bemp/fuck_i_just_weighed_myself/
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I was trying to hold off until September, but we have scales in the kitchen at work and I just got on them out of habit. It was a subconscious reflex. The worst part - I have only lost 3kg in the last 3 weeks. Fml
I'm hoping that because I have my period I'm holding on to a lot of water weight.
I feel so disheartened
Will obviously need to restrict more and crank up the exercise.
[Help] SO is trying to help before I relapse but heās making it worse lol help?
/u/ExtraterritorialEve
Created: Wed Aug 22 01:07:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99b6w9/so_is_trying_to_help_before_i_relapse_but_hes/
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I was anorexic several years ago and it nearly killed me, I recovered and over the few years I put on a LOT of weight so my BMI bordered on obese.
Recently Iāve been relapsing, I think itās been s little longer than I realised but over the last two or three weeks itās been prominent and Iāve been mentioning numbers to my parter (who I started seeing after I recovered). Heās worried that Iām going to relapse because Iām obsessing with the numbers, he says āstop thinking about it, let it float from your mind otherwise youāll relapseā and āweāll go for more walksā
I mean itās great heās trying to be helpful but 1. Iāve already relapsed. 2. I canāt just not think about it. 3. Iām weighing myself twice a day and counting all my calories, Iām barely breaking more than 400 calories a day and fasting for 22 hours a day..
Iām also very conflicted.. I want to be better and not ill, I want to be healthy and in shape but my weight keeps going up no matter what I do, if I just let this go on then Iāll be skinny, Iāll be what he likes...
How do I explain to my SO that itās not as easy as that? Should I just hide it from him completely?
TLDR: Iām relapsing and my SO says ādonāt think about it or youāll relapseā - how do I make him understand?
[Rant/Rave] Donāt want to binge? Rescue meds!!! [TW: drugs]
/u/low-weight-fairytale
Created: Wed Aug 22 00:51:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99b3uh/dont_want_to_binge_rescue_meds_tw_drugs/
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First post guys, on mobile, sorry if it isnāt structured well! But LMAOOOO when you go back to taking your script for uppers so you donāt binge like crazy and your friends have no idea, itās such a weird feeling. Proud that Iām good enough at hiding it, but i kinda wish they knew the pain Iām in, in my mind. Sorry everyone Iām feeling really emotional right now and needed to vent.
[Rant/Rave] Drunk binges :(
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Wed Aug 22 00:31:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99b02l/drunk_binges/
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I planned to go out with my friends tonight but underestimated the effects of two drinks on an empty stomach and got fucking plastered. Friends ordered nachos and we all shared them and so I ate fucking chips and cheese and feel like a failure. I went home and purged as soon as possible but am so scared it didn't make a difference. I'm so so mad at myself and scared of what I just did, what if I gain weight??????? Luckily that was all I ate today but I'm still deeply panicked. I hate this.
[Rant/Rave] DAE (short girls edition)
/u/trenchm0uth
Created: Wed Aug 22 00:16:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ax86/dae_short_girls_edition/
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Get really fucking down on themselves because theyāll probably never be considered underweight? Like I am 4ā10 at 28 years old and I would have to be like 80 pounds to be considered underweight. I have so fucking far to go. It just makes me sick to my stomach.
It doesnāt help that Iāve been having pretty vicious body hatred the last couple weeks in particular. And then my stupid self realized that I was at my first GW (115lbs) and decided it would be a good idea to check my BMI and see how much further I have to go. Now Iām just completely disheartened.
Time to step it up at the gym tomorrow and plan my next fast I guess.
I'm crying because I'll never be beautiful
/u/TW7282020273738
Created: Tue Aug 21 23:59:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99atyl/im_crying_because_ill_never_be_beautiful/
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I want to be thin and pretty. I hate myself. I recently stopped restricting and I'm so mad. I want to be pretty I hate being the fucking joke, I hate being the ugly one I'm so mad.
I'll never be beautiful until I'm thin and I'm angry. It makes me so mad to know now that I'll never be good enough or pretty until I'm thin.
Foods for recovery
/u/Lagtastic10867
Created: Tue Aug 21 23:55:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99at86/foods_for_recovery/
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Hey friends. I fell into the easy trap of bulimia over the two years. Originally it was about weight, but now I just canāt keep food down. Iām at the point where I want to stop. I canāt even eat a piece of bread without feeling super uncomfortable.
Do you guys have any advice on foods that stay down easier? Iāve found almonds and other nuts to be a good start.
Thank you :)
[Discussion] Don't Call Me Crazy (on Netflix)
/u/tobethinspo [5'0 (153.3 cm) | CW: 93.6 lbs | 18.97]
Created: Tue Aug 21 23:37:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99apof/dont_call_me_crazy_on_netflix/
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Has anyone else seen this? It's a series on some kids in a psychiatric ward. There's this one girl, Beth, who is in each episode who struggles with an eating disorder (AN? Idk I'm not a doctor)
The fucked up thing is I keep watching and rewatching the 3 episodes over and over for Beth like she's some kind of Saint cause she has way more self control than I could ever have.
[Rant/Rave] Iām so excited
/u/binkybarnes6969420 [5'2.5"|109.0|20.24|-26.0|16F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 23:19:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99am4r/im_so_excited/
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A pretty big hurricane is set to hit where I live tomorrow or Thursday and thereās talk of canceling school for 2 days.
It used to be that I would be excited to get a few days off school(donāt get me wrong, I still am) but now I canāt wait until Iāll have the time to take a fuckload of laxatives
What a life I lead š
God I just want to be pretty
/u/TRthroawayDE
Created: Tue Aug 21 23:13:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99al04/god_i_just_want_to_be_pretty/
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All I can think about is how beautiful I'd be if/when I'm thin.
I'd do anything to finally be beautiful I hate myself.
I was successfully restricting then boom I haven't been. I move out in 3 days so I'll start back up again then. I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself.
I can't wait until I'm thin and beautiful
Ideas on low calorie snacks I can take with me on a plane?
/u/ButterflyThin [66" | 177 | 28.68 | -73 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 23:10:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99akbg/ideas_on_low_calorie_snacks_i_can_take_with_me_on/
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Trail mix lol
/u/monday-mundane
Created: Tue Aug 21 22:40:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99adwe/trail_mix_lol/
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First time poster here. Fueled entirely by rage.
I'm going on a day hike tomorrow and it's a tradition for me and my dad to stop and buy a snack to bring. I have a safe food I always get... but my dad decided to go out at fucking 8pm at night to pick FOR me FOR NO REASON. He bought me two bags of ""indulgent"" trail mix which is just a god damn glorified bag of chocolate and candy nuts.
Two whole bags.
780 calories each.
130 calories per tbsp.
He bought 3 bags for himself.
What the fuck.
And two bottles of Gatorade. Why the fuck would I ever eat any of this, eating disorder aside.
Anyway he got pissy when I tried to tell him I didn't want any of it. It's such a small thing but I'm nearly crying with rage over this stupid incident. I'm sorry this is such a stupid thing to get angry about but I have no one to complain to and I'm just so fucking angry because I KNOW he's going to confront me about eating tomorrow.
[Rant/Rave] Got food poisoning
/u/theleftoveryou [5'5'' | CW ??? | SW 112 | 23F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 22:32:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ac4k/got_food_poisoning/
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And I feel pathetic for being disappointed it's the shitting kind and not the barfing kind, fml.
Also I have to get on a plane in like 6 hours. rip
[Other] Lol Iām a hoot
/u/KrustyKup
Created: Tue Aug 21 22:28:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99ab4f/lol_im_a_hoot/
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I have health anxiety but I also have disordered eating. For the past few weeks Iāve only been eating one meal a day. Partially bc Iām busy at work and kind of see eating as a chore but also because I hate my body and I like feeling in control. ANYWAYS... Iāve dropped a few pounds and of course Iām freaking out because weight loss is a symptom of some serious illnesses. But then I remember Iāve only been eating around 500 calories a day for a few weeks. Then I continue being convinced Iām sick with something terrible.
10/10 do not recommend
New job means new food environment
/u/coffeehearts [5'5" | CW 126.8 | GW 116 | BMI 21.1 | F(26)]
Created: Tue Aug 21 22:22:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99a9vn/new_job_means_new_food_environment/
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Free la croix and diet cokes whenever I want. Hell yes.
Downsides include people offering me snacks (like a huge bag of Swedish Fish), a self serve food kiosk where you scan your own food to buy it, and a daily taco truck outside. And people ordering food in constantly (pizza, ramen, chicken, EVERYTHING).
Getting off on the right foot by not taking the food and focusing on those free 0 calorie beverages.
What's food like at your work?
[Goal] Guessing I burned 650/700 cals on my run today with a short cool down walk at the end! My original goal was 5 miles š
/u/ketothrowaway95
Created: Tue Aug 21 22:21:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99a9ol/guessing_i_burned_650700_cals_on_my_run_today/
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https://i.redd.it/euuij5s0nkh11.jpg
[Other] 0 months clean
/u/inxthewolf1
Created: Tue Aug 21 22:05:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99a5vi/0_months_clean/
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Welp today would of marked 3 months with no purging, but nope the feeling come on strong and wouldnāt go away, all because of a stupid little comment my mother made!
[Other] Trying to switch back to ārealā food
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 115 | 17.95 | 14.2 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 21:37:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/999zeo/trying_to_switch_back_to_real_food/
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Iām still restricting (<500 cals). But right now the majority of the food I eat is protein shakes, protein bars, basically post-workout protein enhanced foods. I convinced myself today to start eating more real, lean foods like grilled chicken and fish, eggs, and herbal tea instead of vitamin water zero. Iām still gonna stay under 500 cals but at least Iāll feel like Iām being āhealthierā. Any suggestions?
[Help] question about calorie absorption
/u/astra2018
Created: Tue Aug 21 21:33:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/999yh0/question_about_calorie_absorption/
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This is a whole tmi situation but iām going to share anyways. today i did omad. i basically fasted all day so i could treat myself to mcdonaldās and eat at maintenance. So like 15-20 minutes after I ate, i had extremely painful diarrhea. itās probably because I donāt eat fast food very much anymore. I was wondering if that was the food I had just consumed- and I was wondering if itās passing through my body so quickly means that I absorbed slightly less calories than i would have if it digested regularly. (Is that why you guys take laxatives???) Thanks.
Skinny Youtubers?
/u/mabver321 [5'1 | CW 143 | GW 108| F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 21:22:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/999vsr/skinny_youtubers/
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ive just found the youtuber Mia maples and I starting binge watching all of her videos just to look at her body. Do you know other youtubers like that?
I feel so worthless
/u/SpaceWhale88 [5'3 | CW land whale | HW 197 | LW 122 | 30F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 21:13:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/999tej/i_feel_so_worthless/
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I'm almost a month purge free and I'm still miserable. I'm still fat af. I ate 1700 cals for the last two days. My sponsor says I'm doing great, my psychiatrist says I'm doing great. Then why do I still feel like this? I'm lonely, exhausted, and fat. No quality man will ever want me.
I was flirting with this cute guy at my local vape lounge and as we were leaving he kept pressuring me to show him my apartment in a weird rapey way. I should have known that any guy who dares to flirt with me would stick his dick in anything and has no standards.
I feel hopeless. I'm unattractive and lets face it, attractive dudes with jobs want a 10/10. They wont settle for a 4/10.
My psychiatrist just upped my abilify and said if I don't feel significantly better in two weeks I should go back to my original dose. I don't know if a pill can make me not hate myself. If it doesn't work then I just have to live with the idea that this is as good as it gets. This is just my life. If that's the case, why not binge and purge to make myself feel better? I can still lose weight through restriction then b/p-ing ice cream for dinner a few times per week.
Once I'm thin enough I could be successful in online dating. I could attract a quality person and live a normal life. I think I have a lot of great qualities and I can be really fun to be around. But no man will know that because they wouldn't want to start anything with someone they aren't physically attracted to.
I don't know where I'm going with this I just needed to get it out.
[Rant/Rave] āyouāre not going to see as big of a difference that way.ā
/u/summerservice [5'2 | 185 | -15 | 19F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 21:08:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/999sag/youre_not_going_to_see_as_big_of_a_difference/
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- my mom, berating me for weighing myself every day. this was right after telling her Iāve lost 20 pounds, by the way. so one might say... I know that weighing myself every day /works/ for me. seeing it go up or stay the same makes me feel bad, sure, but it also motivates me to work harder that day. so Iām good! thanks!
that being said: am a little nervous to weigh myself in the morning, lol. I ate a lot today. but I know Iām in the 170s now, which feels a lot less scary than the 180s. and I get to break my fast tomorrow night with my favorite cereal! so itās all good! Iām good!! donāt even @ me iām chillin!!!!!
(just kidding, you can @ me. please @ me Iām lonely.)
[Tip] OMAD life hack???
/u/lightningmcqueef69 [5'5" | CW 126.0 | GW 95 | NB | 18 | š: lightningmcqueef69]
Created: Tue Aug 21 21:04:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/999r9z/omad_life_hack/
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I (fairly recently) started doing OMAD with intermittent fasting but I immediately struggled with portion control. I tried to pass off binging because at least it was only in my eating window, but I still felt super uncomfortable about the amount that I was eating.
So I hit up my local Wal-Mart and bought a kids' dish set- cups, bowls, plates, utensils, the whole nine yards. Now when I'm preparing my food it helps me break that weird mental block of "not enough" because my plate is full even at 200-500cal, and I eat slower with smaller bites because the forks and spoons are all tiny.
( *insert a million sunglasses emojis* )
I'm honestly kinda pissed I didn't do this sooner. I haven't eaten over my limit since I started using the toddler-sized stuff (which, i may add, is fucking adorable), and I don't feel guilty for adding treats like a scoop of ice cream because it visually looks like *enough*.
Did anyone start medication for depression and notice an effect on your ED?
/u/catsrule-humansdrool [5'5 | CW 153.8 | -57.2 lbs | 25.6 BMI | 23F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 20:32:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/999j9w/did_anyone_start_medication_for_depression_and/
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I've been feeling like my depression has come back (albeit mildly) and I've just kind of been ignoring for the past few months, until now, because it's so obvious. Iām starting to think that maybe if I did get on depression meds and I got happy again, I might also start losing weight again. Because I was so happy and motivated for the first 4.5 months of this year and was doing SO FUCKING GREAT at restricting, but then my life came crashing down and now Iām just DEPRESSED and canāt restrict for shit.
I was worried about going on meds and it making my disordered thoughts and feelings about food go away, but now I wonder if maybe instead, it would bring them back... because that's what I want. I definitely still want to lose ~30 pounds, but I've been having an insanely hard time even just having a 500 calorie deficit every day.
Anyone have experience with anything like this?
Are my hunger signals fucked or are everybody else's?
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Tue Aug 21 20:20:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/999gcp/are_my_hunger_signals_fucked_or_are_everybody/
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Maybe this is just restricting brain or whatever, but I think we all know someone who eats a full breakfast and then by lunch is "starving". I'll restrict below 300 calories for weeks on end and hardly feel hungry at all, while actually starving my body. Is my body just protecting me from the pain? Is their body just off on the hunger signals?
Idk just a weird musing on my messed up relationship with food
Jaw clenching????
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Tue Aug 21 20:08:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/999cxj/jaw_clenching/
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Hello all, recently I've started to get weird jaw clenching? Like my jaw just freaks out every once in a while. I have been heavily restricting and also EC stacking. If it matters I'm not underweight right now. Does anyone know what might be the cause of this? How concerned should I be by this?
My BMI is below 20 for the first time in my adult life (32)
/u/apinkphoenix [185cm | 72kg | 20.1 | -20kg | 32F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 19:54:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9999ac/my_bmi_is_below_20_for_the_first_time_in_my_adult/
---
That is all.
^^Bitches.
[Goal] Babes, I am scared I will never reach my goal and I am 32.
/u/me_da_verguenza
Created: Tue Aug 21 19:48:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9997nk/babes_i_am_scared_i_will_never_reach_my_goal_and/
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Three years ago I was 4 pounds from my goal and I gained it all back. I am now, 32 and actually the furthest I have ever been from my goal and I feel so hopeless and I feel like I am "too old" to have these issues, is anyone else in similar boats or have been in the past and have reached success?
[Other] My Christian Bale diet with rules, guidelines, and schedule!
/u/evian-x
Created: Tue Aug 21 19:39:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9995fp/my_christian_bale_diet_with_rules_guidelines_and/
---
https://i.redd.it/ooalkhf3ujh11.jpg
I'm really messed up and I'm hoping you guys can understand
/u/SpiritedStrawberry [5'0'' | CW 108 | GW 88 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 19:35:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9994gg/im_really_messed_up_and_im_hoping_you_guys_can/
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I know I'm mentally ill. I know I'm depressed and anorexic and anxious.
I paradoxically hate and crave attention. I want people to notice I'm sick until they do and then I wish they'd leave me alone.
The most fucked up thing is that I fantasize about passing out in front of people. Usually at work. I know it's not something that'd be cute or fun or fucking whatever and that it's dangerous, but I can't really help my thoughts. I want people to care and notice.
I think I just crave love and affection, but it doesn't happen so I want attention, negative or positive.
Does anybody else have thoughts like this or am I just a fucked-up attention whore?
Veganism is my new best friend
/u/coolmistmama
Created: Tue Aug 21 19:24:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9991gy/veganism_is_my_new_best_friend/
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1. Because I can pretend that even though Iām not eating much, because itās all mostly veggies Iām healthy.
2. No more fast food binges (!!!) my neuroticism overwhelms drunk me and I donāt partake.
3. I literally cannot eat 75% of my old safe foods so now, while I figure out what I can eat, I get to be a skinny mini.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
Coping methods ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
/u/scaledrops
Created: Tue Aug 21 19:22:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99913h/coping_methods_ć/
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https://i.redd.it/skkc4va3rjh11.jpg
[Other] what jokes have people made about your appearance that were in jest but actually hurt ur feelings?
/u/i-dont-like-corn
Created: Tue Aug 21 19:13:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/998yqx/what_jokes_have_people_made_about_your_appearance/
---
today one of my sorority sisters made a joke that i have the same physique as gibby from icarly hahaha so funny right!!! im literally never eating again lmao
[Rant/Rave] I finally pooped!
/u/GetToTheStore
Created: Tue Aug 21 18:56:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/998u7b/i_finally_pooped/
---
I thought you all should know. Itās been more than a week (my guts are wonky). And now my scale has dipped below 150. šš©
[Rant/Rave] Why do I want to binge so badly
/u/2worried2care [5'6" | CW 122.4 lb | BMI 19.8 | 26F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 18:48:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/998s8o/why_do_i_want_to_binge_so_badly/
---
My friend cooked me dinner tonight and it was delicious but I have no idea how many calories it was. Iām pretty sure Iāve had over 1200 calories today. I walked over 14k steps, some of which was a 2 mile run this morning. I ate so many vegetables so Iām trying to remind myself that itās fine.
So why do I want to binge so badly?? I want to stop at the grocery store and buy cheesecake filling and pretzel M&Ms and peanut butter and white chocolate chips and sour cream and tortillas. Part of the thing stopping me is that I really donāt have the money but I want to do it so bad. Ugh this is pointless rambling Iām sorry
[Rant/Rave] Feeling disgusting
/u/Tonilier [160cm š 19.7 š cw:111lbs š gw:97lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 21 18:14:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/998jht/feeling_disgusting/
---
Today I found out a friend of mine is fighting an ed relapse and of course the ed part of my brain is screaming at me to be thinner than her because she's already super skinny. I feel so disgusting, I want to support and help her but my eds screaming at me that I have to be smaller than her and I feel awful like I'm betraying her or something, idk I just feel like I'm disrespecting her pain and being selfish even though I know logically that's dumb. Sorry for the rant.
[Other] Started the Christian Bale tuna/apple diet with a friend today šš
/u/evian-x
Created: Tue Aug 21 18:10:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/998i92/started_the_christian_bale_tunaapple_diet_with_a/
---
I'll try to keep it updated here, but I have a rules and daily diet picture if anyone's interested in joining this hellscape with me and a pal!
[Rant/Rave] On vacation
/u/Heartfeltregret
Created: Tue Aug 21 18:06:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/998gzt/on_vacation/
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Oh god. Help me. It is IMPOSSIBLE to restrict. All my family does on vacation is eat! I feel like Iāve definitely gained, and just before school! So much for my skinny comeback.
Nothing feels as rewarding and productive than losing weight.
/u/bunnywithbpd [5"2 || 104]
Created: Tue Aug 21 17:59:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/998faq/nothing_feels_as_rewarding_and_productive_than/
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Got perfect grades? Ok cool. Did all your chores? Whatever. Promoted? Who cares. Won the fucking lottery? So what?
The only surge of anything close to "reward" or feeling truly proud and congratulated is my weight dropping. Nothing else matters. Even I did do amazing things which I feel like I deserve award, I will feel like complete shit if I didn't lose weight.
everyone here as soon as fall starts:
/u/milk-and-honie
Created: Tue Aug 21 17:58:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/998exk/everyone_here_as_soon_as_fall_starts/
---
https://i.redd.it/b7hf5a80cjh11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I am a whale [rant + advice request]
/u/vulturepants [5'5 | SW: 175 | CW: still too much | GW: 115]
Created: Tue Aug 21 17:53:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/998duq/i_am_a_whale_rant_advice_request/
---
Iām really struggling not to go on a rant right now because all of you on here are so tiny and gorgeous and regardless of what anyone says to my face, i know everyone is just glad that they arenāt as huge and repulsive as me and everyone is secretly judging me. Iām disgustingly overweight and i look like a fucking beached whale. Every day i hear comments about my body and iām sick of it. I need to stop fucking eating. I need help.
For like ~6 months iāve been taking laxatives religiously but i havenāt noticed it aiding in weight loss at all. But then again, iāve also been binging like crazy lately because iāve been so stressed. Iām such a fat disgusting sack of lard and i always will be. Even though the laxatives havenāt really helped me, itās become a compulsive thing now where i canāt stop taking them.
So this is kinda a combination of a rant and asking for advice. Obviously i want to complain about being disgusting and how much i hate my body and myself and this is pretty much the only place i can do it, even though i know everyone is still secretly thanking the lord that they donāt look like my fat ass. But on the other hand iām curious, has anyone taken any type of supplements or anything like that that can decrease appetite or aid with weight loss? Or any specific brands of laxatives that youāve had success with? I really am just hoping for firsthand experience anecdotes because these things are always kinda sketchy. Also, any tips on gaining willpower would be very appreciated.
sorry that this post is kinda all over the place, but again i don't really have anywhere else to post this kind of thing. thanks everyone.
Getting back into restricting after not doing it is so hard.
/u/unsentoffmythrowaway
Created: Tue Aug 21 17:36:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99897j/getting_back_into_restricting_after_not_doing_it/
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When I was restricting it was so easy now it's not.
I'm so fucking mad.
I finally broke the 170s and was at my GW but now that my roommates and family got suspicious I started to eat above 800 cals again and I'm so mad.
Its hard, I'm so mad I started to eat again and not restrict.
Why why why why why WHY
I hate that I am this way.
/u/IDontLikeLollipops
Created: Tue Aug 21 17:28:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9986vb/i_hate_that_i_am_this_way/
---
Got some new beer, 110 Cal/serving. Got excited. Started drinking my third. 3.2 SERVINGS PER CAN. I'm so stupid. I want to kill myself.
Anyone else have night hunger issues? Tips/Tricks for Night hunger?
/u/thebarryalien
Created: Tue Aug 21 17:21:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99854y/anyone_else_have_night_hunger_issues_tipstricks/
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During the day it's relatively easy to ignore hunger signals but evenings are what get me. My anxiety goes up in the evenings, probably doesn't help that my neighbors get loud around my bedtime, but in general I also think I just feel hungrier and weaker willed at night. I'm curious if anyone else relates and what you do to fight off cravings/hunger at night?
​
Thank you!
[Other] For once my laziness is working to my advantage.
/u/ohdarlingyourefucked
Created: Tue Aug 21 17:15:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9983ci/for_once_my_laziness_is_working_to_my_advantage/
---
I really want some Reeseās Pieces. However I have zero desire to get up and measure out a serving. So guess whoās not going to be eating any? This girl. I guess my laziness pays off on occasion. š
How do you deal with the period empty pit hunger?
/u/multicolour-squirrel [5'8 |147lbs|-18lbs|GW:132|25F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 17:06:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9980t5/how_do_you_deal_with_the_period_empty_pit_hunger/
---
I swear every month I'm like I CAN FIGHT IT but then it comes around again and I am satisfied by nothing and want to consume all mankind halp
I have weigh-in for fall sports in two weeks. Fuck.
/u/i-want-to-be-little [5ā2ā | 18F | CW: 117 | GW: 105]
Created: Tue Aug 21 16:59:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/997yjn/i_have_weighin_for_fall_sports_in_two_weeks_fuck/
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Last fall, I weighed in at exactly 119.0 pounds. I *will* be lower than last fallās number when I step on the scale this fall. Iām aiming for under 115.
This year, I was at 114.4 before my parents took me on a vacation for last week where I literally gave up on MFP for a few days because seeing the calories all counted up was just that upsetting, and I somehow ended up at a whole 123.6 pounds at the end of it. So now Iām doing SO MUCH restricting, over-exercising, even a small amount of lax. Made it to 121.0 today, so at least thatās some progress. If Iām committed and disciplined enough, I can make it to under 115 by weigh-in on Labor Day.
The weirdest and possibly best part of this is that since my parents do the sport too, theyāve faked weigh-ins and know all the tips and tricks to lose a bunch of weight in a short amount of time, AND THEYāRE HELPING ME DO IT. If I hadnāt fed them a bunch of bullshit last week about ālistening to my body and eating only when Iām actually hungry instead of boredā theyād be pretty high on the suspicion-meter, lol.
Some of the parent-suggested shit Iām doing in the days leading up to weigh-in:
* going for long walks
* over-hydration until there are only a few days until weigh-in, then dehydrating myself
* exercising a ton every day in the varsity athlete gym
* eating basically only protein (chicken) or vegetables
* no salt
* minimal carbs
* running around the block in full gear so I sweat more
* possibly hitting up the athletesā sauna at the gym
* no food or water for 36 hours before weigh-in
* sitting in a really hot car or room in full gear so I sweat more
* espresso shots so I pee more
* the occasional laxative
* possibly diuretics
Some of the very out-there shit that people in my sport have done but I wonāt be doing:
* using drugs meant for racehorses (wtf)
* ācreative leaningā while being weighed so less of my weight gets picked up by the scale (obvious cheating)
Canāt think of anything else to do.
[Discussion] Whatās everyoneās favourite brand of Protein Shake?
/u/kayasawyer [ 4'11 | 100 | 18.5 | 20 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 16:50:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/997w71/whats_everyones_favourite_brand_of_protein_shake/
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Iām looking to get some more protein shakes because the powder I bought tastes like Amoxicillin syrup and I ended up giving it to my nieces boyfriend. The kind of shakes I get are okay but theyāre very chocolate like and I donāt really like chocolate as itās quite harsh on my stomach. So which do you get? Any specific flavour you recommend? Iām willing to try any vanilla brand as long as itās not too expensive but I donāt think I can do strawberry that also gives me war zone like flashbacks to antibiotic syrup from my childhood lol.
What a month of on and off fasting looks like
/u/ThermalAnvil [5ā4ā | SW: 232 | CW: 215]
Created: Tue Aug 21 16:46:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/997v3d/what_a_month_of_on_and_off_fasting_looks_like/
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https://i.redd.it/spfi1164zih11.png
Freaking out...
/u/moonchldx
Created: Tue Aug 21 16:28:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/997q4g/freaking_out/
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I went over my calorie limit of 650 by 200...
Iāve been doing so well the last few days and I messed up.
I couldnāt help myself, and I ate.
Ugh I know itās not much I know I should be eating way more but Iām thinking the worst feeling the worst.
Iāll have to burn these 200 and more I canāt let myself eat more than 650 like itās insane. Then Iām going to fast for 24 hrs only because I have an interview on Thursday and I need the job so I hope my fat doesnāt ruin it for me!
[Rant/Rave] So Iām going back to my dorm to purge
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 119 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Tue Aug 21 16:26:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/997pg5/so_im_going_back_to_my_dorm_to_purge/
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And thereās a fire drill. So I must wait now. I hate this so much. I just wanted a nice night to myself and this is what happened.
Only sugary foods=lower weight?
/u/thebarryalien
Created: Tue Aug 21 16:09:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/997kir/only_sugary_foodslower_weight/
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This is a trend I notice in myself. If I eat sugary foods AND regular food, I get fat as fuck. If I eliminate the sugary food, it helps keeps my appetite down but Iām still chubs.
BUT, if I eat only sugary foods that are lower in fat like nutrigrain bars, gummies, bananas, pop tarts, and cereal, I notice thatās when my weight drops the most.
Has anyone else experienced this? I canāt find anyone else who has made this observation. That said... Canāt be healthy
What's your preference, feminine or androgynous?
/u/nirvanaandsilence
Created: Tue Aug 21 15:55:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/997gg4/whats_your_preference_feminine_or_androgynous/
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The main reason I'm losing weight is to be more stick-like. I really really don't like having breasts(they're small but still there) or thick thighs. I definitely want to lose that femininity. I struggle with being sexualized and being seen as an object scares me. I don't want to be seen as sexually attractive.
I also just like the overall appearance, I think it's cute. I like the way feminine clothing looks on androgynous bodies. Androgynous clothing of course looks great too.
So what do you guys like?
[Other] Just got out of a long, really bad kidney infection
/u/BunnyAwesome [5'7"| F | CW 130 | GW 110]
Created: Tue Aug 21 15:29:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/997891/just_got_out_of_a_long_really_bad_kidney_infection/
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And I'm bloated so ana is all like take laxatives wtf could possibly go wrong smdh
I've definitely taken the laxatives. I am a complete idiot.
Sorry for fluff and nonsense posting but eh idk I needed to say this somewhere.
Eating a bit of sugar free jello pudding is a great "natural" laxative, was having 2 a day.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Tue Aug 21 15:27:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9977tu/eating_a_bit_of_sugar_free_jello_pudding_is_a/
---
Accidentally learned this....not sorry. lololol
​
ALSO- it's only 60 calories, comes in a few flavors, and is great to dip fruit in or just eat on the side, because a little nutrition...I pick strawberries. 100cal snack or desert.
[Rant/Rave] I RAN 400 CALORIES OFF LAST NIGHT can I get a hell yea
/u/landfill7707
Created: Tue Aug 21 15:26:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9977kl/i_ran_400_calories_off_last_night_can_i_get_a/
---
I love you guys, thanks for being the most supportive people, hope youāre all well <3
I have great news
/u/BadAsh3403 [5'4" | 106 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 15:25:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99772n/i_have_great_news/
---
I just went to Europe for 2 weeks. I ate everything I wanted. Gelato, pizza, pasta, sandwiches, fries, tiramisu, and the list goes on. I didnāt have any gym access so I did zero intentional exercise for 2 weeks.
My body looks exactly the same as before and all of my clothes fit exactly the same. I hadnāt gone more than 2 days without restricting calories or working out in over 3 years.
Cheers!
Why do I love it!
/u/MyFavoriteFontIs [Height 5'6 | CW 115 :/ | GW 105| 21F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 15:24:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9976sj/why_do_i_love_it/
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Does anyone else appreciate their ed in the sense that those around you have no idea what 5 minutes in your head is like? Like I'll be with friends and none of them have any idea that 99% of my thoughts are dedicated to my weight/food/body, and I get a weird satisfaction in that, as if I'm a lil special butterfly or something idk. A few of my friends know that I have ' weird food habits' but they don't understand the scope of it whatsoever, and I kinda enjoy having that info for myself.
[Goal] i can't believe i ACTUALLY thought i'd be happy at my ultimate goal weight hahaha
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 107|16.7|UGW: 103|F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 15:12:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/997362/i_cant_believe_i_actually_thought_id_be_happy_at/
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previous UGW was 105, now 103. i know my "final" goal weight will be lower than that but i stepped on the scale today, saw 106 even. looked in the mirror, decided 1 pound wouldn't actually change how i look, so decided to lose 3 more. i keep deluding myself into thinking a measly 3 pounds will make a difference but i don't really know what else to do at this point? if i lose even more than this i'll be at risk for health problems (that i somehow haven't encountered yet, i haven't even lost my period w/ a bmi of 16 lol rip) but i can't even force myself to eat maintenance calories. btw, maintenance calories when you're pretty underweight fuckin' suck. like, i'll gain if i eat over 1400, so i'm gonna have to restrict forever if i wanna keep looking like this basically. i can do that but my stupid ass had fantasies of being stick thin and eating nothing but junk food so it's time to let those die i guess. this post is a mess but i've been thinking about this all day
[Help] Thinning hair
/u/n34543 [5'5 | CW: 127 | 21.1 | GW: 117 ]
Created: Tue Aug 21 14:58:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996yt5/thinning_hair/
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I don't know if anyone deals with this, but when I restrict or only eat my safe foods, my hair is the first thing to become thin. Like my body won't look thin but my hair sure as hell does.
I just noticed how thin my hair has gotten and I had a full blown mental breakdown. Like as in sobbing and hyperventilating. It's really bad around my hairline and it looks so fucking bad I'm freaking out. I literally want to get hairline surgery or something so that I can look normal.
I'm freaking the fuck out and I took a bunch of biotin and I think I'm gonna try to recover or something because I'm so fucking ugly and this isn't worth it.
If anyone knows how to fix this asap please let me know.
[Rant/Rave] Please stop telling me Ive lost weight
/u/monstersona
Created: Tue Aug 21 14:56:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996ye5/please_stop_telling_me_ive_lost_weight/
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I didnt mind people saying it every now and then for a minute, but it feels like everytime I see someone they go "have you lost weight?" and i tell them a little, and they always go "no, youve lost a lot." and people say this in front of other people and its all super triggering in the worst way. Does anyone else dislike being called out about their weight loss? I know some people like it but....ugh.
[Rant/Rave] There's no weight loss miracle you doofus + tell me your story!
/u/ilonacamille
Created: Tue Aug 21 14:48:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996vqi/theres_no_weight_loss_miracle_you_doofus_tell_me/
---
I'm sorry for this rant but I need to vent or I'll go insane. tldr at the bottom
Basically my brother and I have been overweight all of our lives. He did manage to lose a bit when he reached puberty but gained it back now he's got a desk job. I am so tired of his "magical revelations" about why he isn't losing weight.
My brother always gets a 2nd or even 3rd helping even though the meals aren't that healthy (stop abusing the olive oil mom). So I mean, just getting 1 portion would already help a lot. But recently he's been going online and "discovering" all these *amazing ways* to lose weight!
He has started drinking protein shakes after his runs, sure you can do that if you want to build muscle, but not if you're trying to lose weight. But fine I can understand that one, I just don't understand it when he drinks it randomly? I mean it's 200 calories extra? You don't even like the taste?
He has switched his sandwiches for full meals at work, takes a bunch of unhealthy snacks because of metabolism.
At dinner he made a statement that almost made me choke on my monster ultra. This man that has been gaining and maintaining weight has FINALLY realised that he isn't losing weight because he is eating.. too little.
Yup! His activity tracker says he burns about 2500 cals a day (they don't overestimate at all of course) and he BARELY eats 1900 calories a day people! Of course the 2500 is when he goes for a run, which he has been on twice this month. He says he eats 1900 but he does not weigh any of the food and of course soda (not diet) and snacks don't count (metabolism guys).
This guy then goes on to say he needs more protein in his diet and THAT'S also a reason why he hasn't lost weight. I mean sure love I'm a vegetarian and still get my protein without those shakes but go off.
We now reach the beautiful moment where we can pinpoint the exact moment I lost my mind. He dared to utter the words *starvation mode*. Because of his lack of protein and barely eating 1900 calories a day his body has gone into starvation mode.
I almost grabbed a spoon to stab myself so the torture would end.
He then grabbed a can of tuna at 10PM and ate that right out of the can BECAUSE PROTEIN.
​
TLDR: Overweight brother who clearly eats too much thinks there's a miracle fix/reason for his weight. Lectures family about StARvAtIoN MoDe.
RANT WITH ME: tell me your "please stop talking about your bs excuses and let me suffer in silence" stories :)
​
DISCLAIMER: I do not in any way suggest my brother to starve himself/restrict too much but I'm just really annoyed by the fact that he thinks there's a miracle fix when he could easily lose a few pounds by small changes like no 2nd helpings.
​
​
[Rant/Rave] Hate turning down free food when Iām broke but didnāt want to binge
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Tue Aug 21 14:45:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996uqp/hate_turning_down_free_food_when_im_broke_but/
---
Walking home from school and at my apartment complex some people were outside the office and they yelled to me, āfree ice cream! Popsicles! We have chips and sodaā and I was like no thanks since Iām currently trying to lose as much weight as possible before I see my semi-LDR bf on the 31st. Then she was like āwe also have candy and popcornā but I was still like nope Iām good and kept walking so she yells āIām just trying to feed you!!ā And I literally cringed thank god I was already facing the other way
[Rant/Rave] A rave/rant about clothes shopping
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 14:37:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996sfb/a_raverant_about_clothes_shopping/
---
The rave is that I fit into uniqlo size xs jeans! I know that the sizing in the US is way different than it is in other places, but it still made me happy. The rant is that even with that being true, my hips look gigantic no matter what I wear. They donāt even look like they belong on my body. Theyāre so low and wide and I feel disgusted with myself because no matter what I do, theyāre just going to be like that. You canāt get a surgery to compress your hips and no amount of weight lost will change how wide the bones are. I feel super sad and discouraged and like Iāll always be hideous no matter what I do.
[Rant/Rave] Why am I so stupid
/u/philoqueen [5'7 | CW: 112 | BMI: 17.5 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 14:37:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996sdk/why_am_i_so_stupid/
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Why did I think it was okay to eat 0-100 calories a day for a week and then take a laxative and then EAT CURRY. OUT OF ALL THINGS I COULD HAVE EATEN I CHOSE.... CURRY. Iām not mad about the calories, I ate ā
of the food they served and clocked in MAX 300 cals, but I HAVE BEEN SHITTING MY BRAINS OUT SINCE 2PM (its 4:30 here).
Wait, thatās not even the worst part ohohoho no. The worst part is Iām visiting my boyfriend after we havenāt seen each other for a MONTH. The curry-eating was an attempt to appear normal (even though he knows about my ED he gets happy when I eat anything, even an apple a day, he thinks thatās āprogressā aka boyfriends are dumb). Moments later, weāre home alone, clothes start coming off, and I run to the bathroom to pee out of my ass.
What a glorious way to ruin the moment!!! My ED makes me feel so SEXY! Wow!
Send me strength - itās cupcake day at work
/u/nicolajr21
Created: Tue Aug 21 14:15:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996lgh/send_me_strength_its_cupcake_day_at_work/
---
So itās a charity cupcake day at work and people are bringing ALL of the desserts. I made these cute mini cheesecakes with Nutella and strawberries (I ate half of one last night whyamilikethis) and am freaking out about going in today. Send me love and strength pals.
[Rant/Rave] intervention videos
/u/dietcokeangel [5'3 | 103lbs | 18.3 | -24lbs | GNC F 21]
Created: Tue Aug 21 14:04:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996i8f/intervention_videos/
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i keep watching intervention videos, and i always end up getting so angry with the family of the person with the ed. like they always treat her (it's typically a girl fx) like shit and like they're not to blame of anything. i know an eating disorder has impact on everyone around u, but the way these girls are treated is not a way to create an environment possible for recovery of any sorts. typically the family either enables the ed behaviors, ignores them or are hostile to the person with an ed.
they can never see beyond "oh she had a happy childhood and maybe in the teen years had some issues with her weight, normal kids stuff" and then it's revealed the person in fact had experienced traumatic experiences, but never got to actually talk and process these things properly, because there wasn't any room to do it.
no fucking wonder these people end up with alcohol, drug or other kind of abuse, since support is not something they get.
it makes me so angry and i always end up wanting to fist fight the entire family and give the person a hug and help them.
[Rant/Rave] I hit 64kg, Iām such a pig
/u/alonlioak
Created: Tue Aug 21 14:04:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996i4d/i_hit_64kg_im_such_a_pig/
---
My life is in absolute bits. I need a friend right now, pm me if youāve got issues too lol
Sorry for low quality post but Iāve never been 64 before and Iām speechless
Afraid of others seeing me run..
/u/mabver321 [5'1 | CW 143 | GW 108| F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 14:04:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996i1n/afraid_of_others_seeing_me_run/
---
I know its the dumbest thing but im so ashamed of my body that I hardly go outside.
purging and logging your calories ?
/u/littlejanedoe- [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Tue Aug 21 14:00:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996gqv/purging_and_logging_your_calories/
---
If i successfully purge within 15-20min after a binge I usually don't log those calories or log around half of what I consumed. Just wondering what everyone else does here?
[Rant/Rave] Lax life is great :') i love my choices
/u/lonelybeet [5'5" | 112.6 | 18.74 | 21F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 13:55:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996f8g/lax_life_is_great_i_love_my_choices/
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I haven't seen my s/o in 10 months and I'm hopping on a flight in a couple of hours to see him. I ran out of laxatives a few days ago and I'm too broke to buy more but I managed to find some expired ones last night that I popped in my mouth without hesitation because of how backed up I've been :)) can't tell if I'm glad I did that or not.
Now I'm on the toilet writing this and pooping my brains out and praying that I get everything out before my flight- there's something about the air pressure on planes and my nerves about flying in general that fuck up my BMs like mad. Please pray for me guys. I'm feeling so sexy right now ;) my dysmorphic and wet poopy ass is so ready for my man to take me home n ravish me. Lol jk rip me.
Honestly its fucked that I'm dreading seeing my partner after so long... I should be so excited but all I can think about is this awfully ugly flesh prison that I exist in. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Fat grabbers?
/u/Shitty-Coriolis
Created: Tue Aug 21 13:43:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996brd/fat_grabbers/
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So I have this thing I do, I can't stop it.
I pinch my fat.
It started as something I just did in the mirror.. to see what my arm would look like woth less fat on it. Or to see how much I wanted to lose from various body parts.
But now I do it constantly, subconsciously.. and I can't stop. If my hands are idle, they will slip away and start digging nails into that putrid shit. Half the time I don't even notice.
Occasionally though, someone elsewill notice.... and i think recognize what I'm doing. That I'm silently pinching and hating. Most people probably just think I'm fidgety... but some people notice and it freaks and grosses them out.
Anyone else?
[Discussion] parents....
/u/kurtisskinny [165cm | CW 155 | BMI 25.8 | ? | 21F:cake:]
Created: Tue Aug 21 13:42:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/996bba/parents/
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DAE's parents know about their ED? My mom does, I told her a few weeks ago (literally said, "I have an eating disorder). She always suspected I had issues with food in high school, but that was before I even knew or wanted to admit it to myself. We had a lot of fights over her believing I was purging and lying about it (she used to do this and had found things that seemed "suspicious'), these fights were massive and went on periodically for maybe 2 years before I went to university.
I'm not sure if its her own maturity developing or me growing up, but her attitude towards my eating has greatly improved. She has replaced anger with listening and offering helpful advice, but most importantly she doesn't talk about it all the time, or if she brings up food and I say "I don't want to eat because of \[blank\]" she just hears me and the subject is changed! I feel really bad for people with EDs (and in general) who can't talk to their parents the way they would need/like, but for people who can talk to their parents but maybe don't sometimes out of fear, I can personally say that telling my mom changed our relationship for the better, now I feel like she's there for me rather than someone I have to fear finding out about my ED.
I'm going home for 2 weeks before I go back to school and I'm actually really excited to hopefully get back on track with restricting (been bingeing a loooooot) so I can refresh a bit before classes.
Oh the little things.
New here... Hoping to find some support and community
/u/itsathr0wawayd00d
Created: Tue Aug 21 13:27:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9966lq/new_here_hoping_to_find_some_support_and_community/
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I'm a 29 year old male, I'm 5'10 and I weigh 131 lbs. I'm normally 155 lbs but this past 6 months I've been feeling like every time I eat I may have a heart attack or stroke or something...
It's gotten very compulsive and people are always asking me if I'm sick or anorexic. My wife's family is pressuring her to get me into a therapist. I'm embarrassed and I feel alone and weak.
How can fix this?
[Rant/Rave] My family has all gotten weight loss surgery...talk about triggering
/u/shipp-solomon
Created: Tue Aug 21 13:20:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9964rb/my_family_has_all_gotten_weight_loss_surgerytalk/
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My parents and sister were all obese, and as of July, all three have gotten surgery. My mom had it first almost 2 years ago and has lost 130 pounds. My sister had it in February and is down about 60. My dad just had the surgery in July and has only lost 35 so far.
I was never the āfat oneā in the family(though Iāve always been overweight even when fluctuations got me down to a low weight) and now Iām the most triggered Iāve ever been. Iām the only one in my family thatās suffered from a/multiple ED but they have no idea because obviously I keep that shit to myself and my psychiatrist.
Iām trying to just do a normal IF/OMAD diet and not jump off the deep end again but itās so hard. My dad owns and runs a bar/Grill where I work for him and I see my dad and sister most days. I have to hear everyone praise them. Iām now just the ugly fat child of our family. The failure.
I had felt extremely proud of not purging for over a year (even if it worsened my BED, I guess thatās the exchange rate for āovercomingā bulimia but still being disordered) but it doesnāt even feel like an accomplishment now. Iāve stated abusing laxatives again but I donāt even feel like theyāre working. Iām getting no relief. Every day off from work I have Iām downing Advil pm, Benadryl or Xanax so I will sleep instead of eat/binge. I canāt find anything that will suppress my appetite and I sorely need something to help me not eat.
I feel like a complete failure. I just needed to get it all off my chest.
Going to See a Dietitian Today
/u/fatamyfitamy [Fatty McFatShit]
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:57:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995xck/going_to_see_a_dietitian_today/
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I'm scared. I know she's going to judge the hell out of me, but I need to get control of myself and maybe paying someone will help (I feel crazy guilty about wasting money).
It doesn't help that I binged pretty much all weekend.
Ugh, I was feeling so hopeful before.
My sex dreams have been replaced with binge dreams.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:56:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995x0q/my_sex_dreams_have_been_replaced_with_binge_dreams/
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Binge eating junk food, out of control, helpless as I shove calorie-laden, dopamine-triggering, sugar-and-butter stuffed treats into my throat. Part of my brain is screaming to stop but part is screaming to eat and I come awake, uncertain of my temperament. Should I be gladdened that I ate nothing or saddened that this is the closest I truly allow myself to eat freely?
What a peculiar existence we have.
[Rant/Rave] Need to vent (sorry)
/u/shepanda
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:55:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995wqd/need_to_vent_sorry/
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One of my friends keeps talking to me about how he's worried about our other friend (who is very depressed and likely developing an ED), and he talks to her a lot to try and lift her spirits. But of course no one notices me, because I cut on my upper thighs to hide it and she cuts on her wrists so everyone can see. He thinks that she's getting "underweight" despite us being at the same weight and I'm 3 inches taller. Wow this sounds so attention-seeking and needy but every one of my friends uses me to vent to but I don't feel like I can talk about this with any of them.
It's been like this for so long (with other people, not just her) and I'm so tired of being the one holding everyone up. Is it really a good friendship if they don't notice anything? Ugh
My cat broke my scale ...
/u/littlejanedoe- [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:39:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995rp6/my_cat_broke_my_scale/
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Because shes a little twit and plots against me! I weigh myself twice a day and i felt so off this morning not being able to weigh myself. Now i have to run out after work today and buy a new one so my brain wont explode.
[Rant/Rave] I miss living alone
/u/ruralfishingcat [5'5 | 122 | 20.5 | - 5 | 21 F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:39:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995rmt/i_miss_living_alone/
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Iām living with my parents again and god I get so embarrassed about my bathroom habits. When I was living alone no one had to deal with it, but earlier today I had coffee for the first time in a week or two and Christ. Hello volcano of shit and Iām sorry toilet. Thankfully I had taken a shower so the fan was on but still.
If I eat at 1500 for awhile what will happen?
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:38:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995rj4/if_i_eat_at_1500_for_awhile_what_will_happen/
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I want to eat at either a very slight deficit or maintenance for a couple weeks because A, I'm driving myself crazy trying to eat the least amount and it's backfiring and B, My birthday is soon and I want to enjoy it without guilt. So I'm thinking that 1500 would either be very slow loss or maintenance being short and fairly inactive(Currently around 800 a day). But my brain is having a lot of anxiety over how dare I eat that much when I'm still fat and I'll just regain the ten pounds I lost this month \*sigh\*. I'm going to try not to weigh and vary my intake from like 1200 to 1500 while still keeping with the two meals and 3 drink routine thing I have haha.
Help! Need to do a ābufferā shopping trip with my step dad tonight. Need ideas
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:25:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995nia/help_need_to_do_a_buffer_shopping_trip_with_my/
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I recently moved home to go back to University in the city my mom and step dad live in. Heās been pushing healthy eating - heās really overweight - but I think they know about my ED. He keeps saying he wants to take me to get all the ābufferā groceries we need - since they are lawyers they never have food, so they know I never have a reason to eat. All thatās in the fridge is mustard and my good old diet pop and rum. lol. So heās insisting we go tonight and I need ideas for the āstaplesā I can get away with - mostly freezer or non perishable. Iāve got frozen fruit and veggies, fruit cups, sugar free jello, diet pop, tuna all on my list.....clearly I need a lot of help. Any suggestions or ideas are loved and welcomed ā¤ļø
can't stand being cold and hungry anymore
/u/douchefagfucktard [5'3" | 104 | 18.4 | ]
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:22:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995mjs/cant_stand_being_cold_and_hungry_anymore/
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so I gained about 4 lbs recently (usually I'm 100 lbs, stable)- I think so, anyway, some of it could be water. I've gained because I've had it. I've been cold and hungry for *years-* actually, maybe the majority of my adult life*.* I'm constantly, constantly losing a little weight (under 100 lbs) only to quickly gain it back because my body goes into this freak out AS SOON as I dip below 100lbs- I'll be fucking freezing, tired, and suddenly hungrier than a Muslim on the last day of Ramadan, all day for no reason (in fact, this effect is SO CONSISTENT, I'll know IMMEDIATELY when I've dropped below 100lbs without even getting on the scale) and I'm pretty much thinking about food, almost ONLY FOOD all day (especially considering I also work out)- I know you know what I'm talking about, my lovelies- just counting that last 15 minutes until you can eat your next scheduled cracker- fucking fuck it I'm so done I just want to be warm and full for Christ sakes I want a life. Yeah, tiny little tire on the bottom of my stomach- I see you.
But you know what? Fuck looking at you.
I'm done looking
The next time I try to look at my stomach and assess how much fat is on it (like I do every five fucking minutes, I did it sitting in my car at a STOP LIGHT a second ago) I'm gonna force myself to look at the ceiling and sing the star spangled banner
THIS IS FUCKING IT
I just HAVE to get comfortable with having a normal looking body and not need to feel like I'm floating around on the *edge* all the time- I mean, I've got *shit to do*
Anyway, I have concluded that I have done everything that can be POSSIBLY done to be AS THIN AS I CAN and that there is NO WAY to be thinner than 100lbs for me without just laying in bed all day wrapped in a goddamn afghan, sugar plums dancing in my head- no life, no life at all
iām binging and lax purging again (suicide tw near the end)
/u/relativeletter6 [161cm | 57.0kg | gw 50kg]
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:21:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995m2y/im_binging_and_lax_purging_again_suicide_tw_near/
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just yesterday i made a rule that taking lax didnāt make a day a free-for-all, but now i have 75 of the strong kind (dulcolax) and iām just like. whatās the point. i need to completely empty myself of this past week of binging to get an accurate weigh-in anyways, and itāll hurt less on a full stomach.
so yeah guess iām binging. i donāt really envision myself going past 3000 calories today (coming from someone whoās had a day where i kept 6000 calories down, and purged another 6000, this is a small binge) but iāve already taken 31 laxatives and itās 2pm. i hope i donāt take all of them, but i donāt have self control. it doesnāt matter though, whatever i donāt take today i will tomorrow. iām restricting tomorrow though. so i guess the less i have left, the better because there will be less food in my stomach and i donāt want to have to take a fuckload on that?..
just kidding the only thing in my stomach tomorrow is gonna be wine and a plum. yay me. yay coping with my life problems by drinking at the age of 16. yay spending all my money on laxatives and nicotine. yay at my weight constantly fluctuating, yay at always being in between two extremes, from bmi 15 to bmi 24 iāve seen it fucking all and now iām at 21 and i just want to be tiny again god i am so depressed.
this post is all over the place iām really manic and afraid. not even of the lax because i welcome that pain. but iām suicidal again and have gotten to the point of planning and preparing for it and it sucks because thereās a guy who i love and he loves me a lot and we genuinely care for each other so much... we arenāt dating but we used to and we would be now if my mental state didnāt make me scared of commitment (we had a conversation about being in a relationship again when i can cope with it. but iāll never be able to cope with it. because how i am supposed to tell him iām staying alive for the next time i see him in october (he lives in a different state) and then killing myself? i canāt. i wonāt. a big reason i wonāt date him which he doesnāt know is because having a dead best friend isnāt as bad as a dead girlfriend. maybe heāll blame himself less this way).
iām a mess. iām selfish and i canāt wait to get drunk and forget about my problems tomorrow.
DAE get soooooo triggered being told āYouāve really lost weight!ā
/u/anthrthrowawayreddit
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:21:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995m1x/dae_get_soooooo_triggered_being_told_youve_really/
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(Backstory: Iāve only recently begun to lose the Freshman 15 I put on at the start of sixth form. Most of my loss has been body fat, with the tape measure loosening but the scales not budging.)
When I was 15 and a beanpole, that phrase was ALL I dreamed of hearing. But now, I feel like Iām secretly very watched. Like all this time, theyāve had all these secret, nasty conclusions about me.
āYouāve really thinned downā said several friends. āYou always had such a chubby face. Also, you donāt have those spots everywhere anymore.ā
T h a n k y o u h o n ā¤ļø I now never want to smell food again.
I donāt see it
/u/cherryxnut
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:19:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995lh8/i_dont_see_it/
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According to my scales, Iāve lost 30 lbs. I donāt see it anywhere. Still fat all over. Still a lard ass. My family and boyfriend have told me they can see the weight loss. Iām paranoid that my scales (and family and boyfriend) are lying to me.
[Other] A messed up confession
/u/Hide303
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:15:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995kc8/a_messed_up_confession/
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I've always wished I had the 'courage' to purge after a binge.
I don't remember ever having thrown up in my life, so I'm terrified of puking.
I'm kind of jealous of people who are able to purge. Being able to eat all I want and not gain (much) weight seems like a dream to me.
(I know it's super unhealthy. Just my messed up thoughts)
I cant wait to be 'overweight' and no longer 'obese'
/u/WhatsAMooseSay [5'5 | 193 lbs | -82 lbs | GW 115 | 27F ]
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:12:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995jfv/i_cant_wait_to_be_overweight_and_no_longer_obese/
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I have lost about 20 lbs this summer, and have 13 to go before I am classified as overweight - no longer obese!!! It has been such a long time, since my first pregnancy 9 years ago... I cant wait.
This Plateau is Testing Me
/u/eightstone [Height: 5ft 7 | CW: 8st 9lbs| BMI: 19 | Gender: F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:08:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995i11/this_plateau_is_testing_me/
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I had a five day binge at the end of last month. Pre-binge I was 8st 8lbs. The final day of the binge fell on the first of this month. Every day of this month I have eaten below 500 calories. The binge weight came off fairly quickly and within a few days I was 9st 10lbs. For well over a week now my weight has hovered between 8st 8lbs and 8st 10lbs. I weigh myself first thing in the morning, naked, after I've had a wee. I just can't seem to get to 8st 7lbs! I've stared eating all of my calories at once, in the evening, because I miss that feeling of fullness when I spread my calories out. I wonder if the weight isn't coming off because when I weigh myself in the morning I still have food-weight in my belly from my big evening meal. Anyway, this is just a bit of a rant really. I know the advice is just CICO, that the weight HAS to come off eventually, and it doesn't matter really when the calories are consumed. I just haven't had a plateau this long in... well, ever. It's making feel a bit like "fuck it, if I'm not going to lose weight anyway, why not just eat everything." I won't. I hope. It's just very demoralising to feel like you're doing all the right things and not getting any reward.
[Help] I need to know I can do this
/u/anthrthrowawayreddit
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:07:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995hw7/i_need_to_know_i_can_do_this/
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Iāve hit such a rut with my weight since I started high school. Iāve left now, and that has really helped, but I do need to lose some body fat. At least 20lbs, if not 25, so I have a better place to fluctuate at.
Itās selfish and daft, but I just want someone to encourage me. I promise not to drop below 18.5. I promise I wonāt faint. I just need to hear it
Purged for the first time in months last night and woke up thinking I was dying.
/u/deezisnibbas
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:04:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995gst/purged_for_the_first_time_in_months_last_night/
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Got high and ate some delicious shit. I've been back on my bullshit and ED stuff since March. I rarely purge , just restrict. I'm talking less than 10 times since March.
I purged last night because I felt wayyy too full and went to bed maybe 45 min later. This morning I was awoken at 6am by the worst stomach pain I've ever felt. I debated taking myself to the ER. It was horrible sharp stabbing and cramping towards my esophagus. I took 3 tums and laid in pain for a while before it decided to subside. Anyone else experience this?
[Rant/Rave] āwow you must eat healthy, huh?ā
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5ā8ā| CW: idk on purpose| BMI: obese |20F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 12:02:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995g2e/wow_you_must_eat_healthy_huh/
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i was getting some typical ed food (pepsi max, rice cakes, sugar free jello, halo top, protein bars) and the lady checking me out commented on it. i thought sheād also comment on my figure, hinting that i was buying this so i could lose weight, but she didnāt. she just said i looked like i ate healthy, and the food in my basket confirmed.
i know āhealthyā is a big trigger word for a lot of you but considering iāve spent my whole life being called ābig bonedā or āthickā or ācurvyā being called healthy is quite the nice change of pace
Probably need to Meal Prep and Scared about it
/u/nymphlotus [64in | 157 | 26.9 | -23lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 21 11:48:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/995bma/probably_need_to_meal_prep_and_scared_about_it/
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So I've been just eating like absolute garbage lately. Zero self control. I have been craving sloppy Joe's, so I bought the stuff to make it. I'll have to make a whole batch, but then I'll need to divide it up.
Aaaand I'm scared about it.
I'm trying to not binge, but also stay around 1200 calories. But I just don't trust myself not to make it and divide it up...then proceed to eat the whole fucking pot. Plus the individual cups of mashed potatoes I bought.
I can't wait till I move in with my boyfriend. He's naturally so lean and it motivates me to not eat in front of him and to eat less (despite the fact that he likes my body and calls me a pawg ((which is kinda hot and I like it)) lol).
[Discussion] What triggered you today?
/u/sunnshine67 [5'4 Vampire| GW1: 120 | CW:141 | -24 | ]
Created: Tue Aug 21 11:42:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9959xl/what_triggered_you_today/
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I was in line to get coffee on campus today (of course it was black lol) and decided to eat lunch when I got home, but then a girl i went to middle school with recognized me and stopped to talk to me. She said I looked amazing (I was pretty chubby in middle school) and that at first when she saw me she was just checking me out and thinking āomg whoās that bitchā in a good way lol and then she was like āI know that bitch ā which took her a minute because I looked so different. Instead of being a normal person and taking the compliment my brain freaked out and was like imagine how much better youād look if you were thinner and how much more impressed she would have been if youād been thinner. So yeah no lunch for me today lol
My head is a mess
/u/Mudfeast
Created: Tue Aug 21 11:42:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9959vs/my_head_is_a_mess/
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we didnāt see eachother for a while because we were both so low we kept fighting and he slept with someone else and sheās so fucking tiny. And I want to stop thinking about it but it keeps making me feel sick and idk what to do. Iām meant to be in recovery and itās messed my head up so bad because half of me knows that being thin never brought me any peace and Idk I just really want it all to leave my head but I keep looking at photos of her and I feel so stupid
Fuck caramel rice cakes
/u/NeverPerfectEnough [5' 9.5" | 135 | 19.7 | F | goal: dainty]
Created: Tue Aug 21 11:38:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9958n5/fuck_caramel_rice_cakes/
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I looked at, like, six different fucking kinds in the grocery store. I picked a mini version that had 60 calories per serving. Assumed it was the same ingredient list as the exact same brand's larger size rice cakes. Ate a bunch in the car on the way home. And then I realized there's fucking condensed milk in them. So now not only do I feel like a fatass, but I also feel like the world's shittiest vegan. If the dairy makes me sick, I 100% deserve it.
Woke up pissed about nothing/everything. Got a pleasant surprise though.
/u/SextMex [5'1" | CW: 115 | HW: 180 | LW: <80]
Created: Tue Aug 21 11:32:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9956tc/woke_up_pissed_about_nothingeverything_got_a/
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Couldn't sleep, had to work early, generally annoyed at the world for various reasons. I was in a foul mood from minute one.
Then I noticed my panties weren't tight on me like they had been for a while. Figured it was because they were a medium.
Nope. They were a small. Took some selfies to celebrate. Now I'm just mildly irritated at everything instead of raging mad.
[Rant/Rave] Home alone drinking soup broth
/u/liteandlil
Created: Tue Aug 21 11:22:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9953m9/home_alone_drinking_soup_broth/
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All I want to do is go to the convenience store near me and buy chips and ice cream and bread and eat until I cry. But instead I'm slowing eating soup broth out of a big bow with a small spoon.
[Rant/Rave] Starting OMAD for the first time tomorrow
/u/MissMichuMoo [1.68m | 54.5kg | 19.3 | GW: 53kg | F26:cat_blep:]
Created: Tue Aug 21 11:00:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/994wl0/starting_omad_for_the_first_time_tomorrow/
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I've never fasted for more than 18 hours before but after 2 days of binging I'm convinced that this will help me get back on track. I'm slowly but surely picking up weight and it is driving me insane.
Everyone is so nice here
/u/nirvanaandsilence
Created: Tue Aug 21 10:51:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/994tu0/everyone_is_so_nice_here/
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Its crazy haha. There's so much support and everyone here is so empathetic. I haven't seen this on any other sub. I just feel like I needed to show my appreciation, have a nice day guys ā¤
Anybody has foods they like to purge?
/u/xStingx
Created: Tue Aug 21 10:50:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/994th2/anybody_has_foods_they_like_to_purge/
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I see a lot of people mention foods they hate purging but are there any foods you guys actually don't mind getting out? I've recently gotten into eating tortillas with just salsa and I love purging it. It's something I can always manage to get all of it back out and it doesn't taste disgusting coming back up.
[Discussion] Do you guys ever have dreams about binging?
/u/yungelectric [5'7 | CW: 135 | HW: 202 | 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 10:50:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/994tca/do_you_guys_ever_have_dreams_about_binging/
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Itās happened a few times now where Iāve woken up in the middle of the night panicking because I had a dream where I was binging and then weighing myself at something ridiculous like 300 lbs. Ive been having a lot more dreams about things that make me anxious in day to day life recently, and most of them have been related to food and eating.
Just wondering if others are having their sleep disturbed by intrusive ED thoughts :-))
What else can you measure your weight in, except kilos?
/u/XoloGlumTree
Created: Tue Aug 21 10:38:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/994ptd/what_else_can_you_measure_your_weight_in_except/
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I'm just a bit confused when people talk about their weight, they never used kilograms, which is all I've ever known. What are these other measurements?
Hello and Thanks :)
/u/Asheek [5'4| 70.1kg | WHALE | -0.7kg | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 10:26:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/994m2r/hello_and_thanks/
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Hey there, very long time lurker first time posting.
I've been struggling between binges and restricting for about 3 years now. Lurking around here really makes me feel better on my worst days, its really comforting knowing that I'm not alone. I'm not so good with words but thank you guys for creating this wonderful community, i'm not sure I would be in a very good place without you guys :).
I'm heading back on the restriction train trying to be a human being again, really scared for people to see how much weight i've gained over summer break :/. Choo Choo!
I think about food all day and it's painful
/u/EternalVertigo
Created: Tue Aug 21 10:21:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/994kho/i_think_about_food_all_day_and_its_painful/
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Just a few months ago, I found restricting really easy. Like I ate below 600 calories for months on end, and lost so much weight. But now I can't restrict anymore. The thought of food consumes my entire day. I wake up in the morning, eat my usual breakfast...Make an oath to not binge. And then some hours later, BOOM I'll be binging like hell... What the hell is up with me? I don't even eat when I'm hungry, I'm rarely hungry. I eat when I crave, hunger is sooo easy to not pay attention to. All I feel is cravings through out the day. :/
When I try not to give in to my cravings, I feel weird stuff in my heart idk...
I wish I had someone who was restricting with me, so I would try my best to not disappoint them but I don't really have anyone like that.
Had an ED related dream/nightmare last night
/u/nomuddnolotus [5'5" | CW: 125 | BMI: 21.05 | -10 lbs. | 28F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 10:17:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/994j54/had_an_ed_related_dreamnightmare_last_night/
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Hey all, I've been commenting for a while but this is my first OP here. I've been thinking about this dream (more like nightmare) for hours so I thought posting about it might help me feel a little better.
Basically, I was walking through my house and everything was normal, except that in the living room where the windows are, the entire wall was replaced with a floor to ceiling mirror, kind of like in a dance studio. And I saw my reflection and I was super emaciated. All sinew and bone. I spent a few minutes just examining myself in the mirror, and I was thinking "how did this happen?" Then I started freaking out, saying "oh my god, I can't let my mom see me like this." And then there's knocking at the front door, and I know it's my mom, so I'm frantically rummaging through a pile of clothing looking for something to cover my body, but all I can find are my "goal items" that I had bought for when I reach my ugw, crops tops and short-shorts. And then I woke up.
I don't think it takes a licensed therapist to figure out that I clearly have some feelings of guilt surrounding my ED and the effect it could have on my loved ones. But this is the first time I've ever had a dream like this and tbh it's got me fucked up.
Has anyone else had an experience like this? Feel free to share it. Thanks for listening.
What do you listen to/watch during exercise??
/u/audreyhepburnwho
Created: Tue Aug 21 10:01:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/994e94/what_do_you_listen_towatch_during_exercise/
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The last 2 weeks i was super motivated at the gym and spent 2+ hours on the elliptical. But i feel like i lost that motivation... I used to listen to pop music, or watch dance videos on YouTube. Sometimes i watch shows on Netflix but they kinda don't push me enough... Although I've been watching insatiable and since that's super triggering it does work but i dont like watching it with people around. Any other suggestions? And also do you have a specific type of music or Playlist you might recommend? I use Spotify.
[Rant/Rave] Today I'm staying in the hospital because of my ED for the first time [Rant]
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | CW: 64kg GW1: 55 UGW: 50]
Created: Tue Aug 21 09:54:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/994c02/today_im_staying_in_the_hospital_because_of_my_ed/
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I just really don't know how to feel about this. I'm terrified but I'm also happy in some way. I'm from eastern Europe and people don't take EDs seriously. Especially EDs that aren't anorexia or bulimia.
This is our first ED therapist/doctor that I am aware we have. Honestly I want to get better mentally but it's been so draining the relationship I had with food for years now I doubt there will be any impact...
Idk guys I'm excited just so I can look at food in a less obsessive way. Binging and purging is ruining my relationship with literally everything and I would like to move on in some way.
[Help] Planning a binge
/u/klfet
Created: Tue Aug 21 09:37:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9946pg/planning_a_binge/
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Does anyone else plan their binges? My mother in law is fixing me dinner tonight since my husband is away on a mini vacation. But I bought a Tostitos Party Party (cheese) to specifically eat today. Theyāre my guilty pleasure and only 310 calories. I am planning on eating it, after I get home from dinner. Just curious to know if anyone else does this kind of stuff?
My boyfriendās dad called me anorexic as a joke, Iām not even at that point (stereotypically what people assume anorexic looks like) Iām 5ā3 and 105 pounds, that stuck with me - I love being called thin but not when itās in an insulting way :(
/u/holdingmeclose
Created: Tue Aug 21 09:34:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9945x2/my_boyfriends_dad_called_me_anorexic_as_a_joke_im/
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[Rant/Rave] Lost 16 lbs in 6 weeks
/u/kimberlyjackson98 [5'4 | CW 223.8 lbs | 39.27| -7 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 09:31:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9944wi/lost_16_lbs_in_6_weeks/
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Iāve always been fat. I told myself on New Years this year Iād lose weight. Itās too late for that summer body but I turn 21 next spring and I want to be skinny and hot when I go out to the clubs. How obnoxious would it be to be a sloppy drunk but FAT girl? Idk but I donāt want to find out and have people judging me for it.
So now Iām losing weight. And I feel amazing. I fast a couple times a month and count my calories and dance around naked in my room in front of my mirror practicing. My waist has already shrunk. I just need my annoying backfat to cooperate. Anyways thanks for always being here for me guys. I think this time I may have success in getting down to my goal weight before my birthday :)
This fatty is gonna look like a sizzling hot slut for my birthday.
[Rant/Rave] bf eats sooo freaking much XD
/u/angelXhell
Created: Tue Aug 21 09:25:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/99433q/bf_eats_sooo_freaking_much_xd/
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I can't keep up. I'm so used to my not eating, but guys sometimes are just a vacuum. I want to like get him meals since he works so much but then he's STILL hungry?? I am shook š I forgot how much young guys eat sometimes.
Yeah just wanted to say wow at the bf, how do you do it. And also I would HATE to be that hungry.
[Discussion] Anyone have weird food goals/scheduling?
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 115 | 17.95 | 14.2 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 09:24:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9942my/anyone_have_weird_food_goalsscheduling/
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Right now my roommate is making oatmeal and it smells HEAVENLY but I canāt eat it. To make myself feel better, Iām telling myself that I will eat oatmeal when it starts to feel like fall, because itāll put me in a fall mood, or whatever. Do you guys have stuff like that?
[Discussion] Has anyone found a diet aid pill that they felt works?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Tue Aug 21 09:20:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9941iw/has_anyone_found_a_diet_aid_pill_that_they_felt/
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I've tried quite a few (in combo with diet and exercise) and haven't found any that work and dont break my bank.
Anyone have any experience that can help?
[Rant/Rave] I HATE MY STOMACH
/u/110_percent_bot
Created: Tue Aug 21 09:15:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/993zun/i_hate_my_stomach/
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- it is the worst part of me
- will never go away
- looked the same whether I was at 120lbs or 170lbs
- I can grab a handful of it, yuuuuck
- I can grab TWO handfuls of it, whyyyy
- seeing girls wear crop tops :((((
- If I look at it from the front it looks ok and then I turn to the side NOPE GIANT WHALE PERSON
[Discussion] STARBUCKS ORDERS???
/u/missyou0111
Created: Tue Aug 21 09:11:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/993yru/starbucks_orders/
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I usually get an iced black coffee but I want something different.
[Other] I wonāt binge today
/u/Sockapoodledoo [5'4 | CW: 125 | GW: 115 | 25F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 08:24:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/993kn2/i_wont_binge_today/
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I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I wonāt binge today I WONāT
Speaking it into existence.
I havenāt eaten without purging for three days.
Today will not be #4 ughhhhh
[Rant/Rave] Oh Mother, What Would I Do Without You?
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Tue Aug 21 08:23:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/993kbf/oh_mother_what_would_i_do_without_you/
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All yesterday i was feeling super ill. Period, Chronic Illness, the whole nine yards.
I had asked her if we had body measurement tape and she felt it necessary to respond with "But grateful or you'd feel even more sick". Ouch mom. Ouch. Not even 20 minutes later I'm trying on a shirt and yet again here comes a world winning mom comment:
"Ew. I don't like what i see. Don't become anorexic. "
WELL WHICH IS IT MOM
[Rant/Rave] Well I've lost 10 pounds now and I thought I'd be happy
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Tue Aug 21 08:10:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/993gfe/well_ive_lost_10_pounds_now_and_i_thought_id_be/
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My first goal set July 30th was 10 pounds lost, 3 weeks and a day later I'm here. I'm super disappointed really, I'm still overweight, Will be for another 13 pounds. I just want 120, but I know that's not going to be enough for me either.
Gaining weight but eating the same amount of calories?
/u/warmcorgi53
Created: Tue Aug 21 08:09:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/993g30/gaining_weight_but_eating_the_same_amount_of/
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Last year I was around 95 lbs eating 1600 calories a day. I have not changed my exercise and have been eating the same amount of cals everyday.. also havenāt changed the amount of distance I run everyday.. why am I up to 100 lbs now?? Is my food scale broken? I have recently been eating higher volume foods that are lower calorie. Also been paying attention to macros and eat a very high protein diet. Iām extremely rigid with my calorie counting and never exceed it so Iām very confused
[Rant/Rave] The scale is the devil--How I almost let it derail me
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1 | CW 195 | BMI 25.7 |WL: -175 | M]
Created: Tue Aug 21 07:51:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/993b56/the_scale_is_the_devilhow_i_almost_let_it_derail/
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So I didn't practice what I preached yesterday and paid for it. Last week I weighed myself and I was 195... soooo excited as this was ahead of schedule. Then I checked yesterday, despite saying I wouldn't, and I was still at 195. Despite the fact that I know this is just water (I weighed myself later in the day and drink like 2 gallons per day), it still made me miserable all yesterday.
Thankfully today the scale said 192... but what if it hadn't? My stupid ED brain would have convinced me to either restrict more or binge because "it's not worth it".
I am not committed to no scale until September 1st.
TL;DR: Fuck scales, just eat right.
[Rant/Rave] I hate how this disorder consumers who I am
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | CW: 68kg | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 07:21:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9932th/i_hate_how_this_disorder_consumers_who_i_am/
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I spend hours thinking about food, reading posts here or on peach, watching food related tv shows or tv in general to distract myself from being hungry.
I end up not hanging out with friends because Iām busy watching tv to distract myself, or because I know food will be around, or whatever. I forget to text people who are closest to me and call people I love and Iām so wrapped up in this Iām missing out in other good areas of my life that are so important. Iāve stopped working on growing as a person and becoming a better me and striving for my goals. I just waste away obsessing over food, being skinny, and agonizing over the triggering people around me. The only productive action I am taking rn is going to the gym and thatās fueled by the disorder.
And yet, I still donāt wanna give it up. I would rather waste away my potential and happiness for as long as it takes if it means Iāll be skinny. Go figure.
Weigh in day today
/u/runner_618 [5'5 | CW 117.8 lbs | HW 126.6 lbs | LW 101 lbs | GW 105 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 06:55:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/992vzv/weigh_in_day_today/
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I have a love/hate relationship with my ED, and right before a weigh in reminds me how much I hate hate hate this disease. I am going to weigh myself this morning after my workout and I am so afraid of what number will show up. If I don't weigh myself often then my brain is like "oh you've lost weight, treat yourself and have that giant 1000 calorie dinner" so I need a concrete number to keep myself on track. I am literally shaking and I can't motivate myself to go outside and run. Ughhhhhhh....
Everything seems disordered
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Tue Aug 21 06:37:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/992rug/everything_seems_disordered/
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I'm following the fasting subs and I can't help but read them and just think how are people able to do this and not be disordered with it. I'm so all or nothing. Reading them encourage each other feeds my ED. maybe the difference for them is when the are not fasting they are eating normally and it's not a big deal. Whereas when I'm disordered I'm either fasting, restricting or binging. There is no in between.
I wish I could just have a healthy relationship with food. So I could lose weight and not have it control my life
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday August 21, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 21 06:10:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/992mxg/thinspo_tuesday_august_21_2018/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 21, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 21 06:10:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/992mwm/daily_food_diary_august_21_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 21, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I hate summer
/u/chezpajama
Created: Tue Aug 21 05:57:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/992k85/i_hate_summer/
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And this summer has been swamp ass fucking nasty hot.
First of all, I drink more. Because I donāt have AC and end up hanging out at my bar a lot. Also beer is refreshing af.
Because I donāt have AC and I donāt like working out at the gym, I exercise less.
I have to eat more. Currently Iām on about a 1,000 cal high restriction because if I fast, I sweat a fucking ton, get dehydrated and literally pass out.
Itās harder to make healthier versions of dishes because I canāt use my oven. And oven fried tofu is like my favorite thing.
I have to wear more revealing clothing if I try to walk for exercise. Because itās 90 degrees and I am not wearing sweatpants. Then all the meth heads and Johns start crawling out of their dumpsters and harassing me.
I guess the only upside is that when I walk past a window in shorts, I hate the way I look and it fuels my disease.
[Rant/Rave] Starting Again, Med School Triggers
/u/WalkingMed
Created: Tue Aug 21 05:25:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/992cyh/starting_again_med_school_triggers/
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So basically I gained weight after having the implanon (the "bar" contraception) about 5 years ago. Before that I was always slim (not overly so but definitely on the verge of getting there) and now I'm fat.
Which is fine I try to do everything healthily and lose it slowly and properly until the other day.
I was talking to two other med students in the year above me who are discussing how studying EDs and anxiety that week were stressing them out. One mentioned how she had a slight history of issues with food and I said me too, and how its incredibly hard trying to do everything the healthy way and not slip back into old habits.
They both sort of gave me a side glance and barely acknowledged my contribution to the conversation, like I couldn't have had a history of ED because I'm fat now. And it just triggered my shit. I'm not being stuck in this body any longer.
They will see the consequences of not being empathetic to people's histories.
Also I have another girl in my class who is lovely but is just a massive control freak. She has to be involved in every single group study and I just can't get away from her and the obnoxious way she has to learn and "share information" i.e. big note. As she's bigger too, I feel the only way I can stick it to her is to lose weight and lose it fast so I can be in control of something for once.
[Other] i relate so much (by @crazyheadcomics on insta)
/u/ladytulips [5'7'' | 114lbs | 17.7 | -28lbs | 19F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 05:17:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/992bcr/i_relate_so_much_by_crazyheadcomics_on_insta/
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https://i.redd.it/n4mpnecckfh11.jpg
i'm gonna do it... i'm going to run 13,000 miles
/u/ashdust [5ft5 | 108 | 18 | 22f]
Created: Tue Aug 21 05:10:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9929qy/im_gonna_do_it_im_going_to_run_13000_miles/
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this morning i signed up for a gym, which is 5 mins from my flat and 24/7. i'm going to smoke my last bit of weed and binge a little bit for the last time, and then do some job applications (i'm unemployed hence why the gym membership seems justifiable as until i get a job i can go like all the time), see my housemate when i heat up some healthy soup before hitting the gym. went for an hour (25 mins X trainer and 25 mins/1.5 miles treadmill) this morning but i'm gonna try and do 1 hour of cardio, 1 hour of machines and a class a day.
which machines should i use later? i have no clue with them really...
i need to tone uh everywhere but need specific help with butt/thighs and upper arms.
i have bed and ednos traits but i think it's because of my weed dependency and just being a shit human for about a year, and i'm hoping that switching drugs for exercise and not ... fucking.... binging.... i'll maybe feel better about myself and stop taking out my other problems on my body.
(title is a weird reference to THE OATS MOVIE by JOE CAPO on youtube. i think it should be adopted as this sub's official youtube movie, we love oats here right).
āNot eating enough will mess up your metabolismā whatās that supposed to mean?! I actually donāt know. Are they telling me that I will start burning less calories than If I eat 2000 kcal? I call bullshit. (Photo of yesterdayās lunch)
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Tue Aug 21 05:06:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9928xu/not_eating_enough_will_mess_up_your_metabolism/
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https://i.redd.it/y4p0cnqaifh11.jpg
[Help] Heartbroken
/u/heartbroken0217
Created: Tue Aug 21 04:53:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/992657/heartbroken/
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Iāve been a bad girl, you guys. I had to create a throwaway just to get this off my chest.
A few months ago, I started having an affair with a married man.
I fell in love with him, and though we were both vigilant about never saying it, I know he loved me too. If reincarnation is real, I know I loved that man in a past life. My soul recognized his the moment I saw him.
We had set a cutoff date for the 30th of this month, but yesterday he broke it off with me to try and repair his relationship with his wife.
He made the right decision, and I respect and support his choice.
But it fucking hurts, you guys. I knew it was going to hurt on the cutoff date, and he knew it too. I just thought Iād still have another week or so to love him.
We both sat in his car in the rain last night and cried. Weāre in love. And itās wrong.
The worst part is, we work closely together. His desk is next to mine, and we work about 50 hours a week next to each other. We were best friends at first, thatās how this whole thing started.
Heās off today, so luckily I donāt have to see him today, but how do I go on you guys? How do I go back to just being his friend?
Weāre both 29, so weāve both had our share of heartbreak, but I swear itās never felt like this. It feels like my soul is shattered. Heās hurting too. He said last night he didnāt think it was possible to miss someone so much while holding their hand.
Please help. Iām not suicidal over this by any means, but it honestly feels like all the joy has been removed from the world. Iām so completely, utterly sad. How do I even begin to be happy again?
4 pounds in 10 days and frustration
/u/Freaks-Cacao [5'9" /176cm| 157lbs/71kg | 22.9 | - 11 lbs/-5kg | Gender]
Created: Tue Aug 21 04:51:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9925ux/4_pounds_in_10_days_and_frustration/
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I lost 4 pounds after 10 days of heavy restricting and a 2 days fast. I did not binge once.
Am I right to be frustrated ?
I think it's not a lot at all, but I am note sure of how much I can hope losing when I stay under 1000 calories a day for 10 days.
[Help] Zero energy :(
/u/markexclamationmark
Created: Tue Aug 21 04:40:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9923sc/zero_energy/
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How do you guys get more energy while low restricting or fasting?
My weight shot up in July due to stress binging, and I'm trying to get it down before a dance performance in September (one costume has a crop top, another has no sleeves, kill me.)
I can cope with being hungry just fine, but I get so tired, and my brain slows right down! I've been trying to deal with it by eating only when I need some energy (i. e before class) and coffee of course, but I was hoping there was something else I could do. Would really love to maintain my grades :/
Also, EC stacks are out of the question where I live. Haven't tried caffeine pills, but green tea pills made me nauseous in the past so I'm wary
Fuck tortillas though
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 04:34:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9922m7/fuck_tortillas_though/
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I was under the impression that wraps were much healthier than normal bread sandwiches so I went out and bought a bunch of tortillas... JUST TO FIND OUT I ONLY SAVE 20 CALORIES WTF
Not even trying anymore
/u/Dumbledickhead [5'5 | CW 114 GW 108| 19 BMI| 30 lbs lost | F-25]
Created: Tue Aug 21 04:29:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9921na/not_even_trying_anymore/
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I'm not even trying now. I don't feel hunger any more. I'm averaging 300 calories a day. Most in liquid form. I burn at least 500 at work. I'm losing 3lbs a week. I know I'm really sick. But I just can't stop. I want to be skeletal. But I don't want to die. I want to be so thin I can fit my hands around my thighs. But I don't want to be sick. I want to be hungry. I want to enjoy food. But I can't any more. Its gone too far. And I'm so happy. I'm so scared.
[Rant/Rave] All I want are carbs
/u/ChunkynFluffy
Created: Tue Aug 21 04:21:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/991zzn/all_i_want_are_carbs/
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I have been fighting off eating massive amounts of carbs for quite awhile, but I donāt think I can anymore. I donāt know how many more days I can go with just Diet Coke and psyllium husks for breakfast.
But Iām panicking about my holiday coming up when Iāll see friends I havenāt seen for 8 years. I gained so much weight since I last saw them and Iām so embarrassed.
All I want is to go to the baker and get a fresh loaf of bread and eat the whole thing.
Why is it so hard to eat like a normal person?! How do they do it?! š«
compulsively reading nutrition labels at the store before you put anything in your basket even though you don't care and you're gonna inhale that shit anyway
/u/eloisekelly [5'4" | CW: sponsored by avanza and seroquel | GW: 93lb | 24F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 04:05:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/991wq8/compulsively_reading_nutrition_labels_at_the/
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you just *gotta*, even if you do literally nothing with the information and forget it 2 seconds later. i won't eat anything without seeing the packaging even if i'm not restricting and i'm going to eat it regardless. you just gotta know, just to feel safe
[Other] gotta lighten up the mood somehow
/u/iluvmnms [163cm | 53kg (116lbs) | 19.6 | GW: 45.5kg (100lbs)| 18F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 03:52:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/991uew/gotta_lighten_up_the_mood_somehow/
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Sometimes when im binging i pretend im doing a mukbang like holding my mfing bread loaves up to the camera showing them off. like dang i go above and beyond sometimes smh
[Rant/Rave] i feel so disgusting rn
/u/death-crush [156 cm | 46kg | BMI 18.9 | 5kg down | 19F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 03:37:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/991rml/i_feel_so_disgusting_rn/
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i wanna apologize in advance if this doesn't make too much sense but as i'm writing this i'm in a really bad place mentally. tw for b/p talk
for the past few days i've been binging a lot. like, way more than usual. and it makes me so scared because i'm at my lowest weight rn and i'm scared that i'll gain it all back. and i'm theoretically at a "normal weight" but i'm so short and i feel so chunky and ugly so i feel like i have to lose at least 5 more kg to look thin lmao.
i haven't even been properly tracking what i've been eating bcs i'm so ashamed and i just. don't want to know. i'm instead weighting myself like 5 times a day and hoping i'm not back to 50+ kg all of a sudden hahahah kill me please.
i literally ate a loaf of bread + half of a peanut butter jar yesterday among other things (i don't even like pb that much lmao, the texture made me want to die) and today i finished the jar, ate some yogurt and more bread, purged it and then had a panic attack.
and now i'm eating again.
because i'm garbage.
my throat hurts and i'm jittery and i hate myself.
i'm sorry for this weird rant, i don't have anyone that i can talk to about this. thanks for reading
[Help] Iām getting a weird light-headed high?
/u/shipp-solomon
Created: Tue Aug 21 02:59:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/991kkc/im_getting_a_weird_lightheaded_high/
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So I just finished my 4th day of intermittent fasting, this last one was 19 hours. I had a meal of 618 calories altogether and restarted my next fast. I put a waist trainer on and laid in bed to start to wind down to sleep and Iām beginning to get this weird euphoric feeling. Iām not sure if Iām light headed or whatās going on exactly. Any ideas?
[Rant/Rave] so Iām a masochist
/u/lawsoflife [5'5'' | CW: 173 GW: 110 | -37 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 02:34:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/991g5u/so_im_a_masochist/
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Iāve been going through rush for the past week and got dropped from my two favorite houses the last night and just left the whole process. I feel horrible. what makes things even better is that my friends in the sororities told me they were shocked I would get cut and that I got the highest scores possible from the majority of the girls I talked to and a bunch of the girls were upset by it. so I feel like it was about how I look and how gross and fat I am. I lost almost 40 pounds since may and have been eating 300 calories a day for this and it still wasnāt enough. itās sick though but it makes me even more excited to restrict and get rid of all this fat. I just want to be apart of something :(
[Rant/Rave] I RAN OFF 400 CALORIES TODAY THATS ALL GOODBYE
/u/landfill7707
Created: Tue Aug 21 02:07:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/991bjh/i_ran_off_400_calories_today_thats_all_goodbye/
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I love you guys youāre the best and so supportive and Iām sorry Iām so annoying here
[Rant/Rave] My Intro To Fasting
/u/shiveryourselfskinny [Height 5'2 | CW 122.6 | BMI 22.4 | Weight Lost 26.9 | Gender F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 01:59:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/991a27/my_intro_to_fasting/
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As someone who has become somewhat addicted to fasting, I started to wonder "where did it all start?", I mean no one just starts fasting 2-3 weeks at a time regularly. Ive always had ARFID, specifically around fruit (I refuse to eat any type of it at all, ever), but my family has always tried to push me, even when I'm sobbing and screaming. Well, one night, my older brother suggested that maybe my family should just starve me until I finally give in and eat fruit. He bet that I couldn't last 3 days. I didn't eat for a full week and was still determined to keep going when my mom finally backed down and let me start eating again. Since then, I've been obssessed with fasting and the freedom and control it gives, and more importantly, the lack of stress with fear foods. I just thought that y'all might appreciate/relate to part of my "origin story"
TLDR: My family is some sort of wackass crazy
[Rant/Rave] Iām triggered by being at home.
/u/ProbablyNeedGlasses
Created: Tue Aug 21 01:25:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9913wv/im_triggered_by_being_at_home/
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For context: I live with my parents who I love very much. I am lucky to be able to work all day and come home to family.
My problem, though, is that I feel constantly stressed about food around them. If I come home and want to break my 24 hour fast, they comment on how Iām eating. If Iām too embarrassed to eat around them, they ask me why I wonāt eat! I know I canāt win here and itās totally my fault for being this way.
In a dream world Iād come home and have time to decompress from my long work day. Iād have whatever food I want or not eat if Iām not hungry- not being embarrassed either way. I know my parents mean well by involving themselves in my habits, but Iām just so anxious because of it.
I just had a mini-binge and feel so sick, simply because I felt so panicked by my parents hovering over me. I needed a few minutes in the kitchen to organize my bag, and I just wanted to be alone! So much extra stimuli when Iām tired really is hard on my brain (people talking to me or being totally opposite of my energy levels). I feel like I malfunctioned in that moment. That spiraled into me going HAM on some pecans and I regret it so much I just want to cry.
If you read this far Iām sorry itās such a discombobulated rant!
[Rant/Rave] Doctors and diagnosis? Feels/rant
/u/Ednasucks [180cm | CW 75kg | BMI 23 | Lost: 53kg | F]
Created: Tue Aug 21 01:22:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9913fm/doctors_and_diagnosis_feelsrant/
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I came clean to my psychologist about a week ago who wanted me to get a blood test and ramped up my calories (I didn't).
Saw my doctor today for said test and she had already been called by my psychologist which is nice but also now damn it I can't just sneak away from recovery. Which day 2 seems to be okay ish. Which of course makes me feel like I was never actually sick to begin with.
My doctor was so fucking nice though and supportive and isnt trying to make me eat too much more because she recognises if would be harmful if I tried too much too soon.
On my form she wrote anorexia nervosa. That's the first time I've had anything to do with an ED actually written down. Part of me is delighted by that diagnosis. Part of me is disgusted that I'm happy and is using that as further evidence I faked it/glamorised it. And another part of me is like well you haven't been officially diagnosed better stop eating to prove you are sick.
Also trying to eat more and work colleagues keep making comments on my food. Like oh you are having sushi for dinner (pre packaged from the shops at 300 calories for the box) I thought rice was pretty calorie dense.
Ughhhhhhh
what do yāall get as grocery staples?
/u/BEDBulimic
Created: Tue Aug 21 00:00:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/990nxc/what_do_yall_get_as_grocery_staples/
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For the first time I bought bouillon cubes (reduced salt) and sugar free sweeteners (a few different types because apparently mixing them reduces the chemically aftertaste?)
And omg you guys I feel like Iāve seen the light.
The bouillon helps with my salty/savoury cravings and the sweeteners satisfy my MAJOR sweet tooth. And Iām technically drinking a ton of water too which is great since I hardly drink any. AND I donāt feel the need to purge afterwards.
Iāve always struggled with doing a liquid fast (with just water, tea, plain black coffee) because it tastes boring, and Diet Coke is obv great but makes me hella gassy lol. I think I might try doing a liquid fast tomorrow with these 2 weapons in hand. Iām so motivated!
What do yāall usually get as grocery staples? Need to figure out what else Iāve been missing in life.
My go-toās are:
- shiritaki / Konjac noodles
- iceberg lettuce (basically crunchy water idk I love it)
- gum (if I overdo it, I get gassy and nauseous which puts me off food... so not entirely a bad thing lol)
[Rant/Rave] From over to under to normal weight again
/u/pulotpukyutan
Created: Mon Aug 20 23:46:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/990l8z/from_over_to_under_to_normal_weight_again/
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Iāve been overweight all my life, I only decided to start dieting when I became more self aware or self conscious on what I look like when I was in my 2nd year of college (this is senior year for people living in other countries) although during that time I was restricting and exercising real hard and then not only did my weight dropped my grades did too then I got a notice from my school that I needed to transfer somewhere else due to my academic standing.
Because of that my parents were very disappointed at me ofcourse (I am too) but during that time I still see myself as a fat failure even if I was underweight and what hurt me the most was during my summer vacation my dad had a stroke and eventually passed away. In my thoughts and what I feel he died while being disappointed in me but still caring, because he keeps on reminding me to eat. Yeah, he scolds at me sometimes but I really do regret talking back at him and not apologizing for the things I did.
I just wish wherever he is heāll be proud of me and he forgave me for being a disappointment. And so I had to stop attending school due to financial issues because my older brother got laid off, and even if i transferred i was still flunking at school. So i got a call center job which stressed me tf out and made me binge that i became overweight again. And now, when i finally saved up enough money to study again most of my classmates are shocked that i gained weight and some thought that i was pregnant for the time I wasnāt attending school lmao so I decided to go on a diet again and little by little im shedding off some few pounds but sometimes iāll revert back to my old habits and that is binging, mostly when im upset even if i fasted I didnāt lose a pound or just really stressed out from school and now im at 117lbs and no matter what i do i seem to be stuck there. And there also times where I would wish i could re-live the time that my dad was still alive and I didnāt give a fuck what I look like.
I'm fucked up.
/u/xStingx
Created: Mon Aug 20 23:09:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/990dii/im_fucked_up/
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I've gotten my own apartment recently and my younger brother has been asking to come over and hang out for the longest. I invited him to spend the night. Today had been going extremely well for me. I was eating normally and went to pick him up. We went grocery shopping and then he came back to my place to drink and game. I drank a bit. Not too drunk but drunk enough to feel shit. And well, I ended up going off on him because he wouldn't let me drive to a McDonald's up the street. I threw shit at him, and then proceeded to binge on potato chips. Shit. At this point, after eating wayyyyy over my calorie limit, I go to my room and begin to cry. So many bad thoughts went through my head. I go back out and tell him he has to leave. Basically so i can purge in peace.. I didn't tell him that though. I take him home. Slightly tipsy, and as soon as I get back, I purge. I then get into bed, call. My sister, crying and I don't exactly tell her what's wrong, just that I'm sad.
Sigh. I just don't know where I went wrong. I just know that I'm messed up. And I'm hurt. When I was dropping my brother off, I was crying telling him that I ate over my calorie limit. He's only sixteen and was explaining to me that it's okay and that I'm skinny. I don't feel skinny. I've lost so much weight yes, but I feel so bad. And I'm 25 so the fact that my younger brother now knows that I'm fucked up makes me feel even better worse. And like a terrible older sister. I kept telling him that he doesn't know what its like because he's skinny.
Gosh.....
My Mother's Logic
/u/gregorrryyy
Created: Mon Aug 20 23:08:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/990dbo/my_mothers_logic/
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One day: "You're starting to get a little fat. Do you want me to get you a gym membership?"
Two days later: "Why aren't you eating? You're so skinny already. You need to eat more."
WTF IS THIS LOGIC BRO?! Like one day you call me fat and when I try to do something about you get all pissed... bro.
[Discussion] Purging > Exercise
/u/-redrum--
Created: Mon Aug 20 23:00:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/990brc/purging_exercise/
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It's a stupid mindset but I love purging over exercise bc I can at least see how much of what I have eaten I have gotten out of my body. Sometimes I will titrate it so I only throw up a little bit so I can trick myself into thinking I'm doing better bc I only "ate half of that sandwich (bc I threw the rest up) Anyone with me? Bonus points if you like to throw it all up in one big pile so you can see how much you can get up before flushing toilet/putting it down drain/in bin. It's been nearly a decade of doing this I'm a mess lmaoooooo
Canāt believe I just relapsed my bulimia after over a whole year
/u/lynnB123
Created: Mon Aug 20 22:58:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/990b6y/cant_believe_i_just_relapsed_my_bulimia_after/
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Iāve b/p several times in the past week. When I was recovered I never felt the urge to do it, and now here I am sitting with my head REELING wanting to do it SO bad wishing my roommate wasnāt home, being frantic and considering purging somewhere else. What the fuck even
[Other] So disappointed in myself (TW: b/p)
/u/jackolantern_hat [5'9.5" | CW:149 | BMI: 21.22 | 21F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 22:55:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/990aoq/so_disappointed_in_myself_tw_bp/
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Tagging as trigger warning just in case.
I was doing so good not binging and tonight ruined it. I was at the store for oats and some mini m&m's to make cookies and just walking down the candy aisle was enough to get those irrational thoughts. I ended up with fudge cookies, cheesy chex mix, iced cookies, candy corn, reeses cups, and cheesy bugals.
I cam home and had 500 calories left but just ate like 2,000 calories for the day. Rationally I know I burn about that much but my mind slipped into *I must purge!* mindset. My stomach already hurts from the food combo and my head from the chocolate, so purging would be good........not but ed brain here.
I'm just sitting in the bathroom defeated. Nothing but clear liquid came out and I'm happy but sad about it. My throat hurts so bad and my eyes feel like I cried for an hour. I feel myself slipping further into this cycle of binge and restrict and I fear that purging may slip into a normal routine :/
And to top it off I still feel sick/queasy from all the food anyways.
[Help] headaches when restricting?
/u/lemonpepperfresh
Created: Mon Aug 20 22:54:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/990a9h/headaches_when_restricting/
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It seems like whenever I restrict to less than 700 cals I get headaches and not even coffee makes them stop. is there anything I can do or am I just bound to forever drinking panadol whenever I restrict?
[Rant/Rave] Why am I like this ?
/u/rainesaway
Created: Mon Aug 20 22:45:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9908hu/why_am_i_like_this/
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My boyfriend is probably one of the best things to ever happen to me, if I'm being completely honest, but I keep pushing him away. He knows about my history with disordered eating and I know he just wants the best for me but I can't stop until I'm sick enough to get help, and I'm not yet. I don't know if I'll ever consider myself "sick enough". He's trying his best to help but you can't fix someone if they aren't ready to be fixed. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I just needed to vent
/u/bittrspittr
Created: Mon Aug 20 22:26:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9903xr/i_just_needed_to_vent/
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I hate living like this. Everything overlaps and ED on top of whatever the rest of my brain is doing is stressing me out so fucking much.
My mum works in an adolescent mental health ward so she's always noticing my odd maneurisms and was quick to notice my ED and immediately snapped onto whatever i was eating and my behaviour. she doesn't try to be supportive she just scares me.
i feel so monitored whenever i'm with her.
i can't work, don't have money to get my own groceries so i can't ask for suspicious things like shirataki or anything really low cal and she's getting more and more pushy with how i eat. my stepdad too.
i cant fucking move out yet either, i'm eighteen and feel fourteen again over the last few weeks. gooooddddd i'm trying to maintain good grammar and not ramble too far but this is making me feel so insignificant and childish i hate it.
[Discussion] Last few days of summer restricting
/u/honeybruises
Created: Mon Aug 20 22:16:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9901pe/last_few_days_of_summer_restricting/
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I have six days until school starts, and I plan to restrict during those six days. Iām trying to stay under 500 calories every day.I want to try to lose another two pounds before school starts. I hope I can make it happen.
[Other] probs will delete later
/u/Bowdownpeasantz
Created: Mon Aug 20 22:08:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98zzvq/probs_will_delete_later/
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I donāt know where else to post this and itās not like I can talk to anyone about it. I am so alone. I have literally no one in my life I am close to or that cares about me. Iām never anyoneās first choice or someone hey would choose to reach out to. Thereās no point in me being alive and I think it would take a long time for anyone to notice I was gone even though I have three roommates.
On the bright side at least Iām too sad to eat š
I think I need help (chewing and spitting ED)
/u/DreamerOnCloud7
Created: Mon Aug 20 22:00:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98zxz1/i_think_i_need_help_chewing_and_spitting_ed/
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I've never bothered to make a reddit in all my years of knowing about it, but I'm desperate at this point. I know the whole 'then why not seek out medical, professional help instead' spiel, but I'm sure a lot in this page know why that's really difficult.
I find that it'd be even more difficult because, as I've researched:
\- Chewing and Spitting is a 'rare disorder', most likely considered limited in numbers because people don't readily approach professionals to discuss their ED due to shame.
\- Only recently have they really started identifying Chewing and Spitting as an ED
\- Because it's complex, it's hard to approach
I've stumbled as a guest around here, and know that others have, or do go through the same thing.
I've had Chewing and Spitting ED for more than 7 years. Sometimes it's bad, "binging" and random high calorie junk foods, and sometimes it's light, C&S'ing on bread and crackers.
It all started after watching a documentary on ED's titled THIN, on HBO. It featured a patient, a young girl who was there struggling from ED, and who would "chew and spit my food with my mom". Me, being at 75lb because of so much traveling and almost no free time to eat proper meals, suddenly had too much free time, and paranoia.
It was the summer that my grandma came to stay that things turned. I wasn't going to college that semester, I quit my job to spend time with her, and so she'd watch my prepare these monstrous salads that I'd eat with just one condiment. She commented on the size, and things began to spiral. I was still thin, but the way she said it? It made me wonder how I was fitting an entire head of lettuce into my stomach. And then that patient from the documentary came back, and her whole "chew and spit" came reeling in.
That night I committed to my first C&S session with popcorn and veggie straws.
So anyone might assume that this is the dream because you're not swallowing a lot, just morsels that vacuum their way down your esophagus, but nothing compared to actually eating entire meals.
There was a few months in which I craved pizza, and I would order then C&S 2 large or extra large boxes of super cheesy pizza's, sometimes with meats that I wouldn't swallow either, and not gain the weight I would if I actually swallowed the slices. This didn't happen in the beginning, but last year (year 6 of C&S).
But the downside is that, yes, you do gain weight.
I went from 80lb that summer, to 130lb, to now a struggling 115lb-120lb.
I'm not glamorizing the idea of staying under 100lb, but the issue is this- I workout A LOT. My metabolism is understandably shot, but the weight I carry from the 115lb-120lb is maintained in flux because I workout.
I'm at average height, so the number makes sense, but the figure I have doesn't.
Because I sometimes C&S breads and what not for almost 3 hours, and workout for the same amount, I maintain an average figure, but with the amount I exercise, I should have a more lean athletic figure.
The truth of the matter, the reason I don't have a nice figure, is because I'm addicted to C&S.
I've tried many ways to keep from swallowing those morsels, but even then that doesn't matter, because calories do, not entirely portion sizing.
The fact that this is hindering my health progress in regards to finally being fit, not skinny, or chubby, but athletic, is slowly killing me psychologically. It isn't only about fitness, it also comes down to money wasted, and the fact that I'm chewing and spiting at all.
7 years is too long, and I'm losing this battle. I want to approach a therapist, or psychologist, but I close up every time because I'm ashamed. I recently went to my doctor and I was gonna tell her, but I clamed up.
My insurance is soon to run out, but would they even classify my addiction as an actual ED that needs to extend my insurance, so that I get treatment?
All thinking and no results is what I am.
I've tried distractions. Video games, video editing, music, painting, writing. Nothing helps, because that overpowering need comes back in waves.
I'm not asking for advise on how to keep this going, but how anyone here overcame it? I did for a summer 1-2 years ago, but then the stress of moving out placed me back into C&S.
Basically, I've no clue as to what to do, but I want to **stop...**
[Rant/Rave] I always feel like a failure
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Mon Aug 20 21:46:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98zum9/i_always_feel_like_a_failure/
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I am a failure at life, I never get anything right. I try so hard but it is never enough.
1 month ago I was down to 98.8....well for a day, but mostly at 99 ish.....
I bought a scale today since I need one to get at least one thing together, to motivate me daily again.
After a month of B/P, bingeing, some restriction all back and forth I now weighed in at 101.6. So I gained 3lbs this month, another set back. 3lbs!!!!! I can't even do this right.
I wanted to reach my GW by the end of the summer, I was getting so close but then I ruined it. I hate myself so much. Why did I have to go backwards.
I will restrict, now. Especially since I feel like an idiot about so many things in my life. I make mistakes and feel like I should know about them....even though I don't. I beat myself up over things I just thought about.
I want this shit to kill me so I don't have to off myself on my own. It would be more work and I probably wouldn't get that right either.
Thanks for reading I guess, I am sorry for being negative, I just want to go away, disappear, become a nothing.
Suddenly gained 1.5 kg?
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Mon Aug 20 21:40:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98zt1b/suddenly_gained_15_kg/
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, I usually weigh in at around 44.0-44.2 kg. I'm eating at maintenance. But, for no reason, today I weighed 1.5 kg heavier than my normal weight! I suddenly weigh 45.5 kg! I don't understand. 4 days ago I weighed in at 44.1 kg, so that means that in 4 days I put on a kilo and a half? But i've been maintaining! My period stopped a long time ago, and this massive weight fluctuation thing never happens to me. And I never exercise, so it can't be that.Ā Is it because I didn't have a bowel movementĀ (tmi, I know, sorry) this morning? Help!
[Other] Malnutrition is starting to show and other feels
/u/starvy_punk
Created: Mon Aug 20 21:38:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98zsnd/malnutrition_is_starting_to_show_and_other_feels/
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Just to jump off im not looking for help or recovery tips. Just dont have anyone else to talk to about this and i just want it off my chest.
Im starting to show again and i dont even think im going to fight it this time. Im going to hate this body whther i maintain, whether is try recovery or just keep losing.
It sucks progressivly getting weaker. I can barely workout anymore. My performance at work is dropping. Im withdrawing from everything. At this point im just ready to rot away. It sounds horrible but i just cant see myself eating a full days calories and that working out for me very well.
End rant.
[Rant/Rave] "you used to be able to control yourself. what happened?"
/u/scornedcinnamon [4'11.5" | CW: 93 | 18.5 | GW: 80 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 21:35:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98zrwi/you_used_to_be_able_to_control_yourself_what/
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loosely translated from a conversation with my father. i half jokingly brought up how i had eaten too much junk food today and how i couldn't resist the food in the fridge. he mentions my previous ability for self control (when my eating disorder was just restrictive about 4 years ago as opposed to my binge/restrict cycle now). it wasn't malicious coming from him, but i still feel so fucking mad at myself for letting go.
*retreats into sadness with my kombucha*
[Rant/Rave] Such a weird feeling.
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 115 | 17.95 | 14.2 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 21:32:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98zr25/such_a_weird_feeling/
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Iāve restricted for so long, but Iāve never wanted to starve myself before today. I just went back to my second year of college last week and I had high hopes. However, it feels like everything is falling apart. I feel so lonely, i really donāt know if I want to stay in my major (and choosing classes is time sensitive), I havenāt been able to have full workouts because Iām not eating enough, and Iām too scared to try to talk to a guy I had a kinda-thing with last year. I should go out but I just want to read all night and starve myself. I guess itās better than binging? I have no hope for the future. Thanks for reading.
Is this a relapse?
/u/11pmmonday
Created: Mon Aug 20 21:11:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98zlxq/is_this_a_relapse/
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It's been over a year since I've fasted. But it's past 11 now, and today, I'm breaking my streak.
I'm in medical school now. This is the reason I pushed myself to recover. I actually feel better about myself than ever before. I'm excited about what I'm doing. I feel confident and ambitious and I can't wait to become a doctor. I have goals that are important to me besides losing weight. But that doesn't mean losing weight can't be a goal, too, right? Maybe I can figure out how to do this in a way that makes sense.
I don't really know why I made this choice today, but I feel a clarity that I haven't had in a long time. This has happened before; last time I relapsed, it was like a switch flipped in my mind. It felt like clarity then, too.
I think I ate a normal amount of calories and I hate it
/u/NotBlackAjah7734 [5'0 | CW:105.8 | UGW:85 | BMI 20.7 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 21:07:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98zku8/i_think_i_ate_a_normal_amount_of_calories_and_i/
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I had my customary lunch of 245 calories, but I had a calorie dense meal for dinner and a handful of snacks. I feel terrible because I've been trying to go for only 700 calories a day and eating like a normal person feels like failure. There's no way i'm going to log the calories, it'll make me cry. I just want to feel the comfortable feeling of hunger and not eat. I hate myself so much
[Rant/Rave] Period bloat/gain??
/u/CrushedOats
Created: Mon Aug 20 21:05:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98zk1u/period_bloatgain/
---
Iām eating wayyyy under maintenance (800~) and in the past day Iāve gained a lot of weight?? I used a 8 pound weight to verify my scale was working correctly & weighed myself this morning. 119.6. Just weighed myself again & im 121.4?? Iām gonna crY I donāt know what Iām doing wrong & im just feeling like trash because my weight is the one thing I can really control in my life & right now i really donāt have any sort of control over it. Could it be because of my period? Do you guys think the weight will drop off soon? Iām just feeling like shit lmao sorry for the rant
ANOREXIA RECOVERY VIDEO (BEFORE & AFTER)
/u/catparlee
Created: Mon Aug 20 20:40:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98zd2z/anorexia_recovery_video_before_after/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrVyt0FtKHI&t=3s
[Rant/Rave] empathy is somehow pissing me off...
/u/runningonempty94 [5'5" | 146 | 24.6 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 20:30:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98z9zj/empathy_is_somehow_pissing_me_off/
---
So my bff is VERY involved in my ED -- she's constantly listening to me blab about my feelings and encouraging me to eat etc etc.
But I can't fucking stand when she tries to empathize with me. It makes me so angry. She's one of those people who has no appetite and a thigh gap and is beautiful without putting in any effort, and has probably never been above 115 (she's 5'5"). So when I complain about all the bad shit I have to deal with because I'm a whale, and she's like "I think that's a disordered thought," it's like, how does she fucking know it's not true? She's NEVER had to experience being unattractive. And when I complain about how I'm going to be single for life and no guy would ever be into me, she's like, again, "i think that's a disordered thought", but how would she know it's not true! She's spent about 30 seconds single since middle school!
I think what it comes down to is I'm just really jealous of her and her life and it manifests as anger. I just don't know how to receive help from her when it keeps pissing me off.
[Rant/Rave] just shut up!!!
/u/everybhodyhurt
Created: Mon Aug 20 20:29:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98z9sx/just_shut_up/
---
i have an uncle who seems to never know when to shut up. i got an iced coffee, it was at like 8:30 pm. i fasted all day, i feel like shit. all i have had was iced coffee today, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. i have had an absolutely awful day. i nearly had a panic attack at work today because i was alone and making beverages all day for 4 1/2 hours straight alone, no food, no water. i had a huge amount of people come in and i felt so pressured. (im a barista) and itās overall been a shit day. i swing by with my cousin at the restaurant (my grandparents own one) and order a small little burrito. teeeny tinyyy. the first comment he made was about me drinking coffee and how sugar is awful (i had nothing in it btw, no milk, no sugar.) and then heās like āNO NO noo you donāt need food this late.ā And i was kind of confused for a moment and heās like āim not trying to say anything... but you donāt need food. especially a big burritoā and he rolled his eyes. if only he knew...
he then proceeded to tell me how im fat and im going to get diabetes and i need to stop eating. he already knows i struggle with food. he KNOWS. he just doesnāt even keep to himself. i am now fasting till Friday.
[Help] What to get on Amazon
/u/astra2018
Created: Mon Aug 20 20:27:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98z9a0/what_to_get_on_amazon/
---
Hi everyone! I just got an amazon giftcard and want to buy some stuff so I was wondering what I should get. Unfortunately I canāt order soda. So Iām planning on getting water flavor drops and maybe some stuff for low cal baking. If you guys want to link your wishlists or anything that would be really cool! Thanks.
I hate going out to restaurants because of my appetite.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Mon Aug 20 20:27:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98z99k/i_hate_going_out_to_restaurants_because_of_my/
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I love the food, but I hate going out with other people. Usually, I am not satisfied with an entree, and I spend the whole time eyeing other peopleās food. I want them to offer me their leftovers like Iām a human garbage disposal, and that just embarrasses me further. Yes, I can eat a disgusting amount, which is bad enough, but then I have to disgust myself by wanting them to throw me their scraps like Iām a pig with a trough.
[Other] Sick and not purging
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 26F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 20:22:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98z7rx/sick_and_not_purging/
---
Gaining weight while sick when youāre usually not supposed to????
Bronchitis sucks but so is gaining weight ugh idk im sorry
how to get more protein?
/u/tsumanne [5'4" | hw 160 | cw 124 | gw 108]
Created: Mon Aug 20 20:22:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98z7q7/how_to_get_more_protein/
---
can anyone recommend some good sources of protein? preferably not meat because i'm not a big meat eater (just don't rly like the taste and texture) and i'm too lazy to cook. maybe some protein bars, but i'm lactose intolerant and a lot of the cheap ones have whey in them :/ i haven't been getting enough protein (or fat but fat makes me break out) lately and i really need to incorporate more protein in my diet since all i've been eating is sweet potatoes but i don't know any protein sources that are fairly low calorie and cheap.
also are boiled eggs good for protein or no?
Just spent $40 buying lollipops on Amazon because I am a mess with terrible budgeting skills
/u/therealtompetty [5'5 | CW 117 | BMI 19.5 | GW 100 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 20:03:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98z30h/just_spent_40_buying_lollipops_on_amazon_because/
---
Got two bags of cremosa chupa chups which I am excited to try and a box of see's lollipops which I am now addicted to after trying some during a recent trip to LA. The see's are 70/-80 calories a pop but take forever to eat and are so deliciously creamy, oh and they're also stupidly expensive for lollipops so I have no more moneys now. Guess I'm just trying to fill the void in my soul with candy I have to eat slowly.
\^(haha I am so sad)
[Other] Just ordered $40 worth of lollipops on Amazon
/u/therealtompetty [5'5 | CW 117 | BMI 19.5 | GW 100 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 19:56:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98z1qx/just_ordered_40_worth_of_lollipops_on_amazon/
---
Apparently I am now trying to fill the void in my soul with low calorie candy I have to eat slowly
Haha \^I \^am \^so \^sad
[Rant/Rave] BED and body dysmorphia has completely ruined my life
/u/happiness_is
Created: Mon Aug 20 19:46:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98z0a2/bed_and_body_dysmorphia_has_completely_ruined_my/
---
I'm so over this. I've had binge/restrict EDNOS since I was 14 years old. At 21 I went from 250lbs to 161lbs heavily restricting with planned binges.
I'm 24 and have been all binge and failure to restrict and now I'm just about 200lbs and am so over everything. I met my bf when I was at my LW and I thought I was HUGE still. My insecurities fueled binge after binge in the weird comfort of a relationship. I'm nearly 40lbs heavier now and he's not interested in me in any way anymore because I'm insecure and negative all the time and have gained so much weight. I look at pics from that time and don't understand how I didn't see how much smaller I was. I can't stop crying because this stupid ED controls my life. I tried to talk to my mom and she just said "If you want to lose weight can't you just stop binging"
I'm so tired. I'll be able to restrict fine with all this sadness on my plate now I'm sure. I'll just end up alone tho like I deserve.
Everything just changed and I'm dying
/u/IDontLikeLollipops
Created: Mon Aug 20 19:34:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98yywu/everything_just_changed_and_im_dying/
---
I was on a 15 week internship out of state, and I was doing really well at restricting. Then I broke down in front of one of my best friends (who I wad also sleeping with, so he knows exactly what my body looks like), and told him that it was the most I had ever wanted to purge. After that he has been very observant about my eating, and gets upset with me if I'm not.
Because of that, I've been doing really well at eating (other than the few purge sessions I've had), and have been maintain my weight.
Then we decided to get evaluations from our work nutrition people, my appointment was on a Monday, his was the following Thursday. I had told him what my bf% was from my eval, and he made some speculations about what his was (mine was 21%, he guessed his was similar). Over the week we went out with some friends (all men, I'm the only woman there), and they started looking up bf% and speculating about what they were, and discussing the ideal bf for women...
I was okay with all of it until my bestie, and one of the others started talking about the hot waitress, and how she must be 17% body fat (keep in mind, he knows mine).
Then I got REAL bitchy and made some awful comments that he seemed upset by until we started walking to the next place and I tried to hang back, but he wouldn't let me and I freaked the fuck out on the street. I cried hysterically and, even though I told him that it had nothing to do with him (I'm v sensitive about people not thinking my Ed is their fault), he apologized for being so insensitive, and talking like that in front of me.
After that, I kept being good because I was around him.
But now I'm home.
And I just ate a meal... And then I purged WAY more than I ever had before. I haven't even eaten much. Pre-purge I was 100% still in deficit. Now idk. I'm about to break up with my fiance, and my friends here don't know about my fiance or my ed, and I'm terrified of what's about to happen to me. But I'm also excited to lose weight, which is when scarier...
Anyway, just needed to get this out there. Fuck my life. Hopefully I don't purge this beer.
What is your most shameful binge?
/u/derealizationescape
Created: Mon Aug 20 19:12:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98yx4d/what_is_your_most_shameful_binge/
---
I need to make sure I'm not alone.
Does anybody have day specific food aversions??
/u/TinyLittleStars66
Created: Mon Aug 20 19:07:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98yw7y/does_anybody_have_day_specific_food_aversions/
---
Like for example tonight we had pork-chops, rice and cooked mushrooms and for whatever reason today meat is the devil so I quietly eat my rice and dice my untouched meat into chunks and ask my partner to put it in a container and promptly grabbed the softest sweetest smelling peach I could find. Anybody else find themselves avoiding specific foods on specific days? Like today is a no meat day for me but tomorrow I could eat a whole package of deli ham???
[Rant/Rave] Yay my birthday is in a week
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Mon Aug 20 18:54:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ytby/yay_my_birthday_is_in_a_week/
---
The big 2-1, but I'm not going to be drinking. Sushi and lemon curd cake is inkcoming because my family knows I love both. Sushi is fine I can fit that in, but cake. I'll have stupid delicious moist lemony cake hanging around for days. I'm almost down 10 pounds, I don't want to regain but everyone will be sus if I don't eat half the cake. Hahaha I hate everything
[Rant/Rave] Wow it was so nice of my boss to buy us all smoothies
/u/jersler [5'4'' | CW 59.2kg | GW -50kg | 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 18:39:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98yrga/wow_it_was_so_nice_of_my_boss_to_buy_us_all/
---
Too bad my disordered ass was in the bathroom hurling it up not 10 minutes later, at least it didnāt taste much different on the way up.
Wow it was so nice of my boss to buy us all smoothies
/u/jersler [5'4'' | CW 59.2kg | GW -50kg | 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 18:38:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98yras/wow_it_was_so_nice_of_my_boss_to_buy_us_all/
---
Too bad my disordered ass was hurling it up not 10 minutes later
At least it didnāt taste too much different on the way up lol
[Rant/Rave] Eating disorders are ugly and terrible
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 119 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Mon Aug 20 17:06:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98yf7z/eating_disorders_are_ugly_and_terrible/
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I hate the glorification of them. Because theyāre really ugly. Today I purged for that eiferst time and it was disgusting. But will I do it again? Yes because Iām sick. Not pretty or glamorous. Sick. I ate like 500 calories today and threw up half of it. Why? Because Iām sick. I canāt be like my normal friends and just eat. They donāt starve themselves or induce vomiting. But I do because Iām sick with a terrible disorder. I donāt know I just needed to put this out there.
[Other] Most days...
/u/bearantennae8611
Created: Mon Aug 20 17:05:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98yezk/most_days/
---
https://i.redd.it/htapwpqlxbh11.jpg
"Rabbit Food"
/u/DoctorOsmium
Created: Mon Aug 20 16:54:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ycn9/rabbit_food/
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If an overweight/obese person tries to make fun of you for eating vegetables, you're absolutely morally in the clear to destroy their fucking soul. They drew first blood. I swear to god the next time an overweight acquaintance calls my salad "rabbit food" or claims that vegetables aren't "real food" I will unload. I don't care if it's rude to knock on fat people but if you make fun of my salad I will absolutely deliver the lowest of blows onto your fucking pizza I swear to God there will be no mercy.
[Discussion] Anyone else do the eca with bronkaid and just feel physically sick all the time?
/u/Antzinmyeyezjohnzon
Created: Mon Aug 20 16:52:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98yc61/anyone_else_do_the_eca_with_bronkaid_and_just/
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I'm on my 3rd week now. From the start at just 1/2 bronkaid I would feel nausuas all day. I'm now at 1 bronkaid/ 2 caffeine/ 1 aspirin 3 times per day and feel just as sick all day. I've lost 4 lbs so far, but I know it's just from feeling too sick to eat. Is that how the loss of appetite is suppose to feel? I haven't been working out either. I keep saying I'll start lifting each day but I feel too overheated and nausea all the time. Do I just need to stick it out and hope the feeling will pass or is this a sign my body cant handle the eca with bronkaid?
[Rant/Rave] UPDATE: I purged for the first time today
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 119 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Mon Aug 20 16:42:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98y957/update_i_purged_for_the_first_time_today/
---
I know I shouldnāt but I ate too many Annika crackers. So I tried again and finally did it. What a dangerous tool. And Iām alone in my dorm a lot too. I had a hard time stopping myself.
[Other] Where them tumblrs at??
/u/TinyLittleStars66
Created: Mon Aug 20 16:36:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98y7ej/where_them_tumblrs_at/
---
But seriously my dash is dead and Iām in need of new blogs so If you post anything ed related and if you wanna share your blog Iāll give it a look
[Rant/Rave] My brother drank all the zero caloried sodas.
/u/PiggySmiggyGiggy
Created: Mon Aug 20 16:22:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98y3mb/my_brother_drank_all_the_zero_caloried_sodas/
---
My mom went grocery shopping last week, and she bought soda. I didn't look at the calorie count at the time because she *never* buys soda that is calorie free, it's just unheard of in this household. So as soon as I saw them I just dissmissed them and decided on the spot I wasn't gonna have any.
So now today a week after she bought the soda, I see an empty can of one on the counter. Out of curiosity I walk over and look at the calorie count on the can. Zero. ***ZERO***. So I immediately run to the fridge to get one, and nothing. The only person in my house that likes soda is my eight year old brother and my mom. But my mom didn't have any, not one. It was my brother. He drank all of them. 24 cans in a fucking week. I don't even know where to begin with how angry I am. How do you drink *24 cans of soda IN A WEEK?*
This might seem silly to mad over, (because it is) but I just am, the one time my mom buys zero caloried soda he drinks all of them. Lol thanks for letting me rant.
[Discussion] DAE smell the stuff they're craving?
/u/feellikegucci [5'2 | cw: 145 | 26.4 | gw: 88 | -13lbs | 18 F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 16:21:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98y3ey/dae_smell_the_stuff_theyre_craving/
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Sometimes I just sit in front of the fridge and pick up the stuff I want to eat and smell it while chewing on ice to make sure I don't give in and end up eating it. Feels like a less satisfying C/S, but without the risk of me starting a binge out of it.
[Rant/Rave] Iām so sick of this
/u/zee_kitty_committee
Created: Mon Aug 20 16:18:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98y2fl/im_so_sick_of_this/
---
Iām sick of feeling this way every day. Iām sick of feeling like a bag of shit. Iām sick of putting my life on hold because Iām not at a certain weight.
Iām sick of thinking about food all the time, having it control my life. When am I going to eat next? What should I eat? What happens if I donāt eat? What happens if I eat at this time?
Iām sick of feeling like I need to throw up. Iām sick of feeling like I can feel myself gaining, even ounces, every second of every day because Iām bloated and binged recently. Iām sick of looking at clothes Iāll never fit into that I spent $200 on and having to wear leggings pretty much all the time.
Iām sick of having horrible posture and back aches because Iām trying to hide my body and myself. Iām sick of feeling my stomach and thighs when I sit down and stand.
Iām sick of pushing away any love my husband may offer me because I feel like I donāt deserve it, and I feel like some bloated whale. Iām sick of seeing the hurt in his eyes every time I ask why he even wants me because Iām disgusting. Iām sick of putting his life on hold because Iām not at a certain weight.
Iām sick.
[Rant/Rave] Binge day 3
/u/glitchydowner
Created: Mon Aug 20 16:06:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98xz3b/binge_day_3/
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Binge day 1 was ment to boost my metabolism
Binge day 2 my motorcycle died and I was upset
And finally...
Binge day 3...
I woke up and I was positive. I ate my normally 100cals
Then I waited till dinner and had 500cal..
Then I remembered I was helping friends paint their flat and they wanted take out...
Shit...
I decided I'd just say I felt alittle sick.
Drank a glass of wine to calm me down and then another.
Now I'm to relaxed and decided to eat with them...
When I got home I ate all the cookies my SO had in the house and now I feel like shit and don't want to live..
Urgh!!! Fat fucking shit!!
[Help] How to cope after a binge
/u/KassyDee
Created: Mon Aug 20 16:00:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98xx2e/how_to_cope_after_a_binge/
---
I've been doing so good, even went down to a size 1 in jeans. 88.6 lbs, Been teeling amazing. Then i go and binge. Im talking 3000 calorie binge, and not the healthy kind. I feel like shit. Does anyone know how much weight I'll gain? How do you all cope the day after a bad binge?
[Rant/Rave] Forgot to pack my watch charger for vacation lolololol ):
/u/catpotatotots [5'4|CW: 161 |GW: 100|]
Created: Mon Aug 20 15:54:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98xvfi/forgot_to_pack_my_watch_charger_for_vacation/
---
Hey guys
Iām currently sitting in an airport waiting to go to Vegas, where my mom is currently waiting for me. I also just finished moving so Iāve been packing and unpacking my life as of the moment I left the house to go to the airport so my dumbass forgot her watch charger ):
I use my watch to track my calories, steps, exercise, everything ): And Iāve been so stressed out all week because of the moving and the trip and the semester starts two days after I get back. My professors havenāt put anything up online so I canāt prepare and Iām SO STRESSED LOL because as much as I love my SO heās such a lazy bum and I have to do everything except the heavy lifting (which I am super grateful for but I just canāt handle everything at once like this). One of the only things that keeps me on track is my counting and tracking everything so Iām honestly nothing without my watch ):
Iām so afraid that my phone itself plus my PoGo plus will help me track some stuff but itās gonna be even less accurate. Iām trying to get my mom to buy one for me since sheās there already and Iām not landing until after 10PM without showing her how much Iām freaking out rn and lololol Iām going crazy okay Iām about to smoke my weed pen in the bathroom after I finish this post because BOY AM I STRESSED
Don't lick the measuring utensils!!!
/u/beetobeeme
Created: Mon Aug 20 15:50:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98xud1/dont_lick_the_measuring_utensils/
---
One of my new rules for eating.
Also:
1. Don't eat over the kitchen counter, SIT THE FUCK DOWN.
2. Put down your spoon after you take a bite.
3. Take a few seconds before eating each bite.
4. Measure everything and DON'T LICK THE UTENSILES
Convinced myself not to binge
/u/mabver321 [5'1 | CW 143 | GW 108| F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 15:45:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98xsrc/convinced_myself_not_to_binge/
---
My sister decided to make bacon,sausage and all kinds of good smelling breakfast foods. Im currently fasting for 24 hours and almost had my will broken just from the smell. I ended up getting a plate and then immediately putting it in the fridge. I know that if I start I wont stop so im proud of myself
[Rant/Rave] I feel so relieved [RANT/RAVE]
/u/tolearnalanguage
Created: Mon Aug 20 15:34:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98xpi9/i_feel_so_relieved_rantrave/
---
So, like many of your parents, my parents refuse to let me weigh myself and I thought they'd stick to that. BUT THEN my cousin (I'm slightly suspicious she's also has an ed) that came to stay with us asked if she could weigh herself and so my parents told my brother (he has the only scale in the house) to let her use it. Of course, I was freaking out; FINALLY I could weigh myself. I was dying to know if I was still 50kg like I was the last time I checked which was about a year ago. My ed riddled mind had some how convince itself I had gained and was exactly 58.9 kg (idk why such a specific number). I was mentally preparing myself to see that number, I gave myself a pep talk and every thing. For a second there I even considered meditating for first time. You guys don't know how ready I was to start a 10 year water fast.
But THEN.
I. Stepped. On the scale.
OMFLIPPPING- WHAT?!??!??!?????????
FIFTY POINT 7
50.7KG
111.8LBS
HowwhatwhenisthisevenpossibleNawthismustbewrongthefloorisprobablyslantedyeahthatmustbeitbloodyhellimsuchareterdforbelievingthat
So then I moved it to the kitchen and it showed the same reading. I measured myself two or three more times, moving the scale to a different room each time. And guess what? IT SHOWED THE SAME READING. This was with clothes on and in the evening
But you know what my absolute favourite bit is? I flipping binged right before.
/Yes/
It's like a weight has been lifted of my shoulders (8.9kg of weight hehe). I feel so relieved. I've just stuffed my mouth with food again but I don't feel the slightest bit guilty. I almost cried. Yall this is one of the happiest thing that has ever happened to me :'). I'm in such a good mood rn
I don't know my height. All I know is that I'm somewhere between 160-170cm so my BMI is somewhere between 17.5 and 19.8.
I still can't believe this. I'm so happy. So so so so happy.
I ate some junk food on Saturday, and I ain't quite sure how to feel.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Mon Aug 20 15:16:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98xkff/i_ate_some_junk_food_on_saturday_and_i_aint_quite/
---
Here's how I roll with things. During the week, I'm pretty damn strict about my diet. One day a week, I allow myself to eat to satiety and indulge in foods that I don't normally eat. This includes dessert items, restaurant foods, bread, and so forth (carb/fat combos, basically).
I have gotten to the point where I don't *usually* binge on these days (but the temptation is always there), and I am able to eat "unsafe" food like a normal person. This weekend involved me eating a lot of junky food and...I don't know. I'm just not sure how to feel.
There's a part of me that's like, "You ate too much, fatty, you'd better fast and restrict like the pig you are," and there's a part of me that's like, "Dude, you eat clean 6/7 days of the week, *it doesn't matter.* Do an extra 30 minutes of cardio if you're that worried."
I did restrict my calories fairly harshly yesterday, but I wasn't really hungry then, and I'm not really hungry today.
Is this some semblance of recovery? Is this how normal people do things?
[Help] āItās either youāre hospitalized or you pay out of pocket for treatmentā
/u/bboombbboom
Created: Mon Aug 20 15:07:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98xhp7/its_either_youre_hospitalized_or_you_pay_out_of/
---
My eating habits have been getting worse and I told my therapist about it finally. Sheās not specialized in EDs so sheās helping me look for a ED clinic.
Since places where I live only take out of pocket instead of insurance, my therapist said my next option would be to get hospitalized.
My issue is that I would have no one else to take care of my baby if I was hospitalized. I canāt afford to pay out of pocket either.
Iām not sure what to do.
I fasted for 24hrs for the first time ever!
/u/lupoverde
Created: Mon Aug 20 14:56:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98xebt/i_fasted_for_24hrs_for_the_first_time_ever/
---
It wasnāt even that difficult! I was super tired all morning/afternoon then I had coffee and I was better. I broke my fast with some soya milk and some shredded veggies in broth. Amazing! But I have a super hard working week coming up (also physically) so we will see how well I deal with it tomorrow after not eating a lot
[Rant/Rave] to my coworker who looked at the twix and peach tea i had in my hand and said āwow, you just got back from lunch and youāre already having that?ā
/u/SlightWasabi [5'6" | 153 | 24.7 | -27 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 14:42:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98xaar/to_my_coworker_who_looked_at_the_twix_and_peach/
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FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
F U C K Y O U
you had a 16oz mtn dew before 9 oāclock this morning and you wanna lecture me? itās not like youāre the picture of a perfect diet.
how hard is it to mind your own fucking business??
[Discussion] What's the most nonsensical thing your ED has made you do?
/u/sorryihaveaboyfriend
Created: Mon Aug 20 14:27:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98x5za/whats_the_most_nonsensical_thing_your_ed_has_made/
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I've been lurking here forever and finally have something somewhat interesting (??) to post.
I weighed myself Saturday and was at 120.2 lbs (which was my initial goal weight but I'm still not happy), and since I don't have access to a scale at my house, I tend to weigh myself whenever I get the chance. And what do you know, I got the chance again today! But surprise, surprise, I was still at 120.2. Which makes sense but was just not good enough, so for some strange reason I decided to purge the <100 chai and water I had drank earlier so that the scale would go down.
And it did. By .4 lbs. I am simultaneously thrilled and disappointed.
I've hit a new low, both literally and figuratively.
Have any of you done anything similar?
Has anybody else not lost ANY weight this summer??
/u/BIueJayWay [5"3| CW:107 |GW: 102 |BMI:18.9 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 14:26:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98x5lx/has_anybody_else_not_lost_any_weight_this_summer/
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I feel like shit. I thought summer would be the perfect opportunity to lose weight, I mean.. all the conditions were present: Relaxing, being able to go outside whenever, not feeling stresses so no stress-eating, not seeing many people so no pressure.. but I went ahead and committed the worst act of self-sabotage since Jack Torrance from *The Shining*.
I haven't *gained* any weight, but it sucks that I haven't lost any. Tell me I'm not alone!
The more weight I lose the more my mum tells me she is so proud that I'm being healthier. And it hurts.
/u/taikutsuu [5'9'' | cw: 125 | 18.08 bmi | gw: 110 | 18f]
Created: Mon Aug 20 14:22:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98x4g2/the_more_weight_i_lose_the_more_my_mum_tells_me/
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I was almost overweight when my anorexia.. started. I was almost 150 pounds at 5'9, which isn't overweight at all, but I definitely looked heavier. I always look heavier than I actually am (poor body fat distribution, I guess.)
Ever since I moved out, I've been restricting. I've lost nearly 30 pounds in the past months and everytime she sees me, she has this bright, genuine smile and tells me how happy she is to see me eating better, and how she's so proud of me. She tells me that I look better, that my skin is clearer, that my posture is better, everything. And everybody else says the same thing.
It hurts. I just want somebody to see how sick I really am, for fucks sake.
Relapse... again
/u/Epiphan_y
Created: Mon Aug 20 14:22:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98x4e1/relapse_again/
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I tried recovery from bulimia. I tried so hard. But all I could feel was that I'm way too fat (4'11, 205lb). I feel like I deserve to punish myself and restrict no matter what my SO says. I feel like he deserves a beautiful and skinny girl, and it's killing me that he doesn't have that right now like he used to 3 years ago. I feel like I'm letting him down. So.. I guess I'm going down the road that might ultimately destroy me.. but all my fucked up brain can think is that I deserve it, and that I deserve to fight to my weight goal (75-90lb). I'm sorry, I just had to get this out there since I know this community is very supportive. I'm sorry if I wasted your time.
NSFW - did I just find a new way to motivate myself?
/u/onlymildlyanxious [5'1 | CW: 127.4 | SW: 132 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 14:12:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98x102/nsfw_did_i_just_find_a_new_way_to_motivate_myself/
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This may be TMI so apologies beforehand.
I used to be so skinny, my boyfriend commented on those pictures from four years ago with a smile on his face. I've gained so much weight since then and just can't ignore my fat anymore. I'm overweight by BMI and you between fasting and binging. I borrowed my friend's challenge bag for climbing and had to loosen it by a few inches to clip it around my stomach. Everything is tight. It's disgusting.
I have absolutely zero willpower with food. It's my ultimate comfort, the only thing I can rely on making me feel good when life is going to shit and I can't get anything I want. So I've just been slowly creeping up for years.
My bf, bless his heart, tells me I'm still sexy but I'm terrified he finds the fat disgusting, or at the very least, is just tolerating it. I'm sure he feels helpless when I have a low moment and berate myself and my body, and he's never asked me to lose weight besides telling me that he'll support me if I want, maybe because he's too scared to give me the impression that he wants me to be smaller. There are comments over the years that make me think that he does prefer smaller women, and his whole family and culture looks exactly the opposite from me (culturally, racially, size and weight wise).
ANYWAYS
We're long distance and going to a wedding in a month. We mutually came up with a deal that's modified from before. Every time I eat out, I Venmo him the same amount. But if I don't, I keep twice the money and eat better. And if I lose 10 pounds by the wedding, he's going to tie me up and put me through the wildest sexual fantasies of my life.
Maybe it's wrong to do this for money and sex, but having a goal and pleasure based reward is so much healthier than the current dialogue in my head, so I'll take it. I'll let you know how things are in a month!
[Other] Today I am thankful for Wegmans and their beautifully vast selection of 3 for $10 coke products
/u/therealtompetty [5'5 | CW 117 | BMI 19.5 | GW 100 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 14:10:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98x0ba/today_i_am_thankful_for_wegmans_and_their/
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https://i.redd.it/m53hyxbc2bh11.jpg
[Discussion] I need to go grocery shopping.
/u/ohdarlingyourefucked
Created: Mon Aug 20 13:43:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98wrtd/i_need_to_go_grocery_shopping/
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What are some of your must have items? Iām trying to make a list to avoid wandering around like I usually do and being tempted by thing I shouldnāt get.
Finally got a scale
/u/imgital [5'4 | too big | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 13:34:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98wp98/finally_got_a_scale/
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I've been scale free for 4 years. It was a something I purposefully did for myself during recovery, as I knew it was a trigger. Anyways, I was in a thrift store the other day and saw one for $3, and I went "fuck it" and got it. The only time I've weighed myself in the past 4 years was either when I was visiting home, or at a doctor's office. Every time, it seemed like my weight was creeping up.
I guess its safe to say I'm in a relapse considering I'm here and back to restricting and gave in and got a scale.
On the positive side, I'd been estimating my weight. I thought I was around 125, but I put a battery in my new scale and am 119! 6 pounds less to worry about, yay! It's weird that my body hasn't changed since before and after knowing my weight, and I'm still unhappy with it, but knowing the number is lower than I thought is SO gratifying.
Contemplating buying a scale...
/u/shipp-solomon
Created: Mon Aug 20 13:29:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98wniq/contemplating_buying_a_scale/
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I moved 6 months ago and havenāt had a scale since I moved. Iām contemplating getting the Fitbit scale to go with the Fitbit Iāve had since June(the step counter helps me feel better when Iām not eating). Iām worried that it may do more harm than good with my ED. Iāve begun attempting IF this week because Iād rather have a set schedule than erratic binging. Itās really killing me not being able to step on a scale once (or ten) times a day.
How does everyone else feel about scales?
Binge/Purge
/u/cherryxnut
Created: Mon Aug 20 13:28:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98wng6/bingepurge/
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I couldnāt help myself. I lasted all day yesterday, but failed today. I feel like a failure. I feel like a fraud. Purged + lax. I both recognise I am in a full relapse but also feel like a fraud. The urge to self harm and punish is too strong. This disease is hell.
i just feel like i will never be able to do it
/u/softdyke
Created: Mon Aug 20 13:00:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98wej1/i_just_feel_like_i_will_never_be_able_to_do_it/
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i can't imagine ever being thin, I am a healthy weight currently after losing almost 40lbs but just cant imagine ever being thin and i dont know what to do
[Goal] My clearance jeans are now my size goal!
/u/7M7j7KGMM8uuwNnW
Created: Mon Aug 20 12:51:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98wbrq/my_clearance_jeans_are_now_my_size_goal/
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I've been looking for a really comfy trendy pair of jeans/jeggings. We have Amazon Prime so I search for a good deal. I find some cute clearance jeans, they're from China and the sizing only goes to XL. Who knows, maybe they'll fit?
They come in the mail and they're really small! It turns out XL in China is US size 8(-ish)... I'm currently a size 14. But they're really cute so I'm keeping them and they're my new goal jeans!
That said, I still want a pair of cute jeans, maybe closer to size 12 this time. I have my eye on a pair but I'm dropping weight so will wait until September to officially buy.
**ProTip:** When life hands you lemons, make lemonade then drink that lemonade and nothing else until you fit into those size 8's haha
Bah gawd I hope this is satire
/u/strangerousdangers [5'3 |115|GW 105 |-20lbs]
Created: Mon Aug 20 12:45:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98wa12/bah_gawd_i_hope_this_is_satire/
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https://i.redd.it/6ltmg9henah11.jpg
Stopping late night binges?
/u/backup4reelz [5'5" F | 124 | 115]
Created: Mon Aug 20 12:45:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98w9x9/stopping_late_night_binges/
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I've been heavy restricting the past 10 days (<500 cals) and it's been going well except I got up and just sat in front of my fridge and binged the last two nights. Luckily, I managed to eat less than my goal for those days and binge on low cal stuff so I was still under my goal when I finished, but I'm so worried that I'm gonna keep doing it and go over some night. I think I'm binging because I've never restricted this much for this long.
I'm not even hungry when I get up to binge I don't know why I'm doing it. Anybody know how I can stop this?
[Rant/Rave] Holy fuck I had no idea one Cinnabon had so many calories (almost 900)
/u/peachypetrina
Created: Mon Aug 20 12:22:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98w2l1/holy_fuck_i_had_no_idea_one_cinnabon_had_so_many/
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Good thing I didnāt eat it.
This week Iāve been weirdly lax about counting calories ā first I tried to eyeball them, then I said fuck it and started eating like a ānormal personā (well, if a normal person only ate junk food and rarely ate actual nutritious meals), then felt guilty, tried fasting, and repeated this pretty much day after day. I feel like Iām at a weird point in my ED where I want to restrict and lose weight but Iāve lost all willpower. And Iām not unhappy with my body necessarily, but Iām also not happy because I know itās not perfect.
But after finding out those calories in one mere Cinnabon?? I think that just triggered me to start counting calories and restricting again. I mean, a Cinnabon really doesnāt look that big so I canāt trust myself to eyeball food anymore. I mean, itās so calorie dense that I think no one should eat it!
Anyway, yeah I still crave the Cinnabon but thereās no way I could just knowingly let myself eat that much in one sitting
[Discussion] Any single people scared to date??
/u/gothbaseball [5'2 | CW132 | GW115 | HW139 | 21F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 12:19:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98w1t0/any_single_people_scared_to_date/
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Iāve been single for about a year and a half and I havenāt really been looking for anything or anyone because Iām a disgusting whale so why bother right?
Dates are scary because they usually involve food plus they could lead to relationships which are even scarier because 90% of the time, my appearance is somewhere between the pillsbury dough boy and a literal swamp monster. I canāt imagine any man or woman being interested in me when they see me without makeup or, god forbid, naked.
This is all on my mind right now because Iāve been asked out on a date and Iām getting dinner with a guy later this week. Heās a really sweet guy, weāve been close friends for over a year, and all of our friends reallyyyyy want us to date. So no pressure, except for a bunch of people obsessively asking for updates like if weāre in love yet. ššš
Thereās about a 14 inch height difference between us. Iām 5ā2 and heās 6ā4. So maybe itās a good thing and Iāll look smaller next to him?? š More likely though Iāll just become obsessed with getting smaller because heās a fit basketball player and my general body type is like when a can of biscuits explode and dough rolls are popping out.
TLDR: Iām afraid of dating and have to face my fears this week. Anyone else deal with this? How do you feel about dating?
[Rant/Rave] Low restricting / fasting = not losing ?
/u/askthedustinstead
Created: Mon Aug 20 12:10:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vywi/low_restricting_fasting_not_losing/
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Hello everyone,
I am f*cking cluelees and honestly very desperate.
I am living with this ED for 6 years now but somehow my body is a mystery to me the last few months. I never went in recovery, I sort of integrated it in my life (which I deeply regret, believe me, I hate my efficiency and how well I adsorbed it or it absorbed me in my life) but somehow I manahed to stay alive all this time.
Long story short
I am restricting almost 12 months in a row now, the last 6 months always beneath 450 cals and the last 2 months every day beneath 250. Never carbs, and vegan. Friday and saturday can be 600 or I do a 3 day fast, depends. I have the occasional 'binge' (dont want to offend anyone here) they are mostly 1000-1500 (these happen once every six, seven weeks and sadly exists of carbs). I exercise, besides my job (not a seated job) around 500 every day.
And I lost in these 2 months 3 kilo?! It drives me mad. The math just doesnt.. aargh
And yes my counting is correct,I log everything, always in 3 different apps!!
Someone please explain. Need help
[Help] I've hit a plateau
/u/Butterfly_Rose
Created: Mon Aug 20 12:08:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vyff/ive_hit_a_plateau/
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Please help. I've been stuck at 47kg for three weeks now. I keep giving into food but I'm still 2kg away from my UGW. Thank god I've maintained and not gained, it's a miracle...
Any tips to help me on this final stretch?
[Remorse] Iām sorry to my grad school roommate.
/u/rotting_the_crown
Created: Mon Aug 20 12:08:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vyex/remorse_im_sorry_to_my_grad_school_roommate/
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I saw a post on here a few minutes ago that made me want to share something I said in grad school that I think about pretty much daily. (It was the post about how their coworkers were being really bitchy about her losing weight)
I feel terrible about this.
When we were entering grad school in 2012, my roommate learned that she had MS, which really sucks. A lot. Around spring 2014, she was really having a lot of trouble physically (probably mentally too). Meanwhile I was having a lot of trouble mentally. Medications werenāt working, I was acting completely erratic and ridiculous (bipolar severe mixed episode), I was seriously considering admitting myself to a facility or doing ECT, nothing was working and I was a danger to myself and others. Iām not saying this was as serious as having MS, but itās for context.
I was eating around 300 calories a day and working out for a least an hour a day, somehow with ease (Iām dying to get back to that, trying everything I can think of to try to trigger myself, but thatās a different story). I obviously lost a ton of weight very quickly, going from ~140 to ~115 in a short period of time, a little over a month (netting at least 0 cal/day, if not less).
Meanwhile, she was gaining weight, I assume a mixture of depression and inability to be very active, etc.
One day, I was sitting on the couch and she came in and was talking about how she was gaining a lot of weight because of this stuff. I extremely insensitively shoved it in her face that I was losing weight and how great it is.
This may not seem like a big deal, but I literally think about it every day, and I feel so shitty about myself, and so bad for her and how upsetting that must have been for her.
I donāt know why Iām sharing this, but I needed to finally get it off my chest. I know most of us here donāt like to draw attention to our weight loss but I was in a completely different state of mind (quite literally) and I was literally shoving it in everyoneās faces and actively drawing attention to myself. I feel so shitty about it, but the truth is, I would probably do it again. Iām the worst.
Thanks for reading, sorry about the novel. Be kind to yourselves ā¤ļø
[Discussion] Anyone else here trans ftm or mtf/nb?
/u/alienmickey
Created: Mon Aug 20 11:57:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vuqh/anyone_else_here_trans_ftm_or_mtfnb/
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My ed has developed for many reasons but i feel like recently a big part of it is the dysphoria I feel with my body. I feel stuck between male and female and its honestly a little embarrassing. My body feels like it will never be right. I'm masc leaning but I occassionally flop back and forth between wanting to be this toned thin curvy cutesy girl and wanting to be lean and muscled and andro and sometimes just outright wanting to be buff and strong regardless. My brain cant decide. Does anyone else struggle with this? The wanting to be muscled part really gets to me. I don't know how to stay thin and build a bit of muscle/tone up to appear more masculine. For a bit of context, my butt and thighs are very big in comparison to the rest of my body and I'm quite short. Definitely masculine ššš³š³š³ (I'm being sarcastic.) Let me know what ur experiences and opinions are ! šāØāØ
The skirt I bought to motivate myself FITS!
/u/ButterflyThin [66" | 177 | 28.68 | -73 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 11:56:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vubr/the_skirt_i_bought_to_motivate_myself_fits/
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It's a medium. I was wearing a 2-3x when I bought it. I can put it on easily and zip it up (well OK my SO zips it for me I can't do it myself). The shirts I have are still a touch to small, and some pants I was given fit me awful BUT it's not because I am fat anymore, my body just isn't preportioned right for them!
Next goal: The cute panties in my closet, I think I need to lose about 10 lb. Which is smaller than my usual clothes goals. š
I think my slightly to small shirts will fit then too, but I bought them 30 pounds ago.
Boss fueling ED
/u/curvylucifer [5'2 | cw 130 | gw115 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 11:53:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vtf9/boss_fueling_ed/
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FTW when your boss is a bit of a health nut and asks the office to do a "cleanse" with him. Its that Master cleanse which I've done before (and honestly it wasn't that bad since its water, lemon, and maple syrup) but hey at least this fuels another reason for me not to eat!!
Already got the boyfriend on board so it's easy sailing from here!! Goal weight here I comeeee!
[Rant/Rave] sleep snackinā???
/u/skinthin [5'0| 100 | 19.3 | 35 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 11:51:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vswq/sleep_snackin/
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Iām confused. This is the first time this has ever happened to me, and Iām so upset about it that I canāt help but hysterically laugh and share it with you all and hope someone has done the same. This morning my boyfriend informed me that last night, at around 4 in the morning, I SLEPT WALKED into my kitchen and consumed a gogurt.
1. Iām glad even being unconscious, I chose at least something relatively low calorie.
2. Iāve slept walked before, but never into my kitchen to unconsciously consume a snack.
3. ..... how
[Help] does anyone here have abs
/u/lucaaa7 [5ā8 | 128lb | 19.3 | -57lb | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 20 11:47:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vrne/does_anyone_here_have_abs/
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iām trying to get better about my body dysmorphia and i feel like if i had abs iād feel so much less fat...... like right now iām pretty thin but i feel like iām hella skinnyfat....
so if anyone has defined abs how did you get them?? iāve been doing a lot of planks and crunches recently but i donāt want to keep doing that if they wonāt lead to real results
on a related note dae feel the same way about being skinnyfat??? at this point i feel like itās almost worse than actually being overweight :(
[Other] Dreamzone
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 105 | 19.2 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 11:26:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vkzj/dreamzone/
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Had a dream halo top was .50 US cents at the local shop. But, I didnāt have any money. So, not a dream. Rather, a nightmare
[Rant/Rave] My stationary bike pedal straps broke and now Iām riding it by placing my feet on the silver bar. I need a new one but I canāt let this one go.
/u/kayasawyer [ 4'11 | 100 | 18.5 | 20 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 11:24:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vk8e/my_stationary_bike_pedal_straps_broke_and_now_im/
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It was my granddads and itās the last thing I have of him. Well I have a trust fund for college but that doesnāt count because I donāt want it. It feels strange that he left me one and I donāt know why but I just feel undeserving of it. Anyway back to the bike.. I know I need a new one. I injured myself *down there* from riding too long and had to be on antibiotics because they couldnāt tell where the scar was because I refused a check up down there and there. Anyway I donāt know what the point of this post is. I just want to get my stationary bike fixed but I feel like it would be cheaper to buy a new one. I donāt know. I know this is a rant post but if anyone else rides a stationary bike for cardio what bike would you recommend would be best?
Homecoming Dresses
/u/KaitlynMK
Created: Mon Aug 20 11:19:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vikg/homecoming_dresses/
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Guys, I was looking for a homecoming dress yesterday. Some girl came up to help me, and asked me what style I was looking for. She also needed to know what size to look for. I had no idea what size I needed. Guys, she looked at me and legit said āyouāll probably need a size 2.ā All the ones I tried on where xs. I tried on some 4s, but they where too big on the hips. The one I got was a size s. It fit pretty fine, except the shoulders where a tiny bit big and I have to get it shortened.
[Discussion] Has anyone ever tried waist training?
/u/almc879213
Created: Mon Aug 20 11:19:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vik8/has_anyone_ever_tried_waist_training/
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Iāve been curious about trying this, but am unsure if whether or not itād be worth it. Iād love input on if it works, time spent doing it, effects on appearance and appetite, etc
[Other] Oil is the bane of my existence
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 11:14:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vh7g/oil_is_the_bane_of_my_existence/
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https://i.redd.it/5amx90227ah11.png
I love feeling hungry
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Mon Aug 20 11:08:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vf8x/i_love_feeling_hungry/
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That emptiness makes me feel satisfied. Itās like I can feel myself getting closer to my goal weight and then I get excited. And then that excitement keeps me from bingeing. Itās like I can feel my body eating itās own fat and I love it.
God this is unhealthy.
[Discussion] Favorite chewing gum?
/u/ghostlythin [61.25ā | CW 99.6 | BMI 18.7 ]
Created: Mon Aug 20 11:02:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vdaf/favorite_chewing_gum/
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Not sure if Iāve seen a post discussing this (had a different account for a while and lurked on here a lot) so I figured Iād ask- what are your favorite/least favorite chewing gums? Lol.
Iād have to say that Orbit bubblemint gum is my all time favorite- I looove bubblegum flavored stuff, it kind of took a bit of getting used to though, but it doesnāt get too hard and chewy for a while and the flavor lasts a long time.
Recently, Extra mint chocolate chip gum has been a life saver for me- maybe my taste buds are broken, but I think they taste an awful lot like Andyās Candies. They kind of curb my chocolate craving and, I donāt know, itās just a good flavor imo lol.
I HAAATE ice cube gum though. They get hard too fast, and the flavor only lasts for about five minutes. Ugh.
So what about you all? I could keep going on about gum all day and Iād love to hear yāalls opinions XD
Will not tracking help me not to obsess?
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Mon Aug 20 11:01:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98vcym/will_not_tracking_help_me_not_to_obsess/
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So..I've been restricting high, restricting low, eating intuitively, all that, and always still end up binging.
I lost the most on low restricting (obviously), was better physically when high restricting (but major cravings too), and felt good mentally when intuitely eating/doing whatever I wanted (but didn't lose weight and got anxious about what portion was right.
I still need to lose some weight, get off that binge weight from the last days especially, but also stop the binges AND get a better grip on my relationship with food. What would be best to do that? :/ Should I just low restrict until I lose those freaking last 10lbs, then up calories, then work on eating intuitively, or stick to high restricting for a looong time, or just suck it up and try to listen to my body (?) and work on my relationship with food/not binging, but live with being fat?
It feels like I can only lose this game :( I want to be skinny, I want to have control, I want to binge, I want to starve, god damn it! :(
I'm trying to draw instead of purge. Recovery is hard.
/u/MissMagus
Created: Mon Aug 20 10:50:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98v9kr/im_trying_to_draw_instead_of_purge_recovery_is/
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https://imgur.com/cJvkiJw.jpg
[Discussion] Korean Youtubers
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8" | CW: 130.0 & BMI: 20.1 | GW:115 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 10:47:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98v8lc/korean_youtubers/
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I went down a rabbit hole of Korean weight loss stories on youtube last night and I just want to say: so many of those girls have disordered eating habits and just straight up EDs. If you follow kpop then you'll know that even the way idols talk about restrictive diets is so nonchalant, "I only 300 calories for 2 weeks for this comeback/I ate nothing but chicken breast" so I'm not really THAT surprised but this one girl's video literally left me speechless.
She talked about how she lost 26kg/57lbs and the girl CLEARLY has an ED. And that 's not me projecting either. She was honest about how she starved herself to lose weight (and the negative consequences). She also talked about how she only eats once a day to maintain her weight and how she wishes she could just enjoy food. At one point she is almost crying. She was clearly sad/unhappy but was still trying to be positive. She uploaded a follow-up video doing a Q & A on her weight loss video and admitted she had been at an unhealthy weight and her habits back then were not good but even her ""healthier"' habits were still disordered imo.
Its just interesting to compare them to American youtubers or just western youtubers in general who would have gotten dragged through the mud for videos like that (but American youtuber weight loss/management videos have their own issues too)
`<iframe width="654" height="368" src="`[`https://www.youtube.com/embed/v4cltOzjv5o`](https://www.youtube.com/embed/v4cltOzjv5o)`" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>`
`<iframe width="654" height="368" src="`[`https://www.youtube.com/embed/1SD8fDsa2O8`](https://www.youtube.com/embed/1SD8fDsa2O8)`" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>`
`<iframe width="654" height="368" src="`[`https://www.youtube.com/embed/AsMRf1wruwA`](https://www.youtube.com/embed/AsMRf1wruwA)`" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>`
[Rant/Rave] iām such a shitty person
/u/justprettyconfused [5'4 | CW: 115 | GW: 100?? | 19F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 10:36:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98v5e4/im_such_a_shitty_person/
---
today is the last day of my summer job. my boss is the sweetest person ever and she took the time to bake me a batch of lovely vegan shortbread cookies (which i love) as a goodbye gift. i ate one in front of her and told her they were amazing before i snuck out back and dumped them into the dumpster. i just knew iād eat the whole fuckin tin because as we can all relate to, my relationship with food is an āall or nothingā kinda situation. anyways i hate myself and i donāt deserve my bossā kindness :(((
[Discussion] has anyone else given up on seeming 'normal'
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 107|16.7|UGW: 103|F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 10:34:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98v4mh/has_anyone_else_given_up_on_seeming_normal/
---
i used to eat normal portions in front of people and talk about how much i love food but now i don't even care if my roommates watch me meticulously weigh 14g of pop chips or count out 15 veggie straws for breakfast lol. all the 'snacks' i keep in my room are like canned veggies, chicken broth, and diet soda and i honestly just don't care if they know or don't because i'm not going to eat anything else. my scale sits right by my bed as well, i don't weigh myself in front of them but i'm assuming they at least know that i use it. they can think what they want, i'm kind of over the whole 'must seem normal in front of people' thing. i'm sure i'm not the only one?
Anybody else here lost their period long before becoming underweight? (TMI if you find this sort of thing gross)
/u/HungryThrowMeAway [š¹4'11 | CW 98-96 lbs | GW 95 lbs | -27 lbs | Fš¹]
Created: Mon Aug 20 10:32:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98v416/anybody_else_here_lost_their_period_long_before/
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I'm asking because I haven't had a period since early June. I had a small amount of spotting in July, but no period. I was around 118 pounds at the time of my last menustration (heavier side of normal for someone my height).
For some info on my ED, I'm purely restrictive. I don't binge, and only try to purge when I was forced to go over my calorie limit at a restaurant or something. Keyword is 'try', because I always fail and just end up spending ten minutes making noises that sound like a a mix beached fish that smokes twelve packs a day, and every circle of hell. I don't overexercise.
I'm still not underweight yet (98-96 lbs for anyone who can't see my flair, and I'm very short). Yet still nothing.
Just wondering if any of you folks have had a similiar experience. Sorry if this was too personal/gross!
[Other] 350 days logging my calories and....[other]
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: 155 | GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 10:32:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98v3z6/350_days_logging_my_calories_andother/
---
I weigh 10lbs less than when I started tracking. *Only 10lbs in almost a year*
At one point I was 20lbs down but I gained 10 back. Iām so disappointed in myself; I canāt believe how pathetic I am.
This time last year I was crying looking at how fat I was in my vacation pictures and I promised myself I was going to lose the weight so I wouldnāt have to feel that way again. Yet here I sit.
I have to get myself together. So hereās to another year of MyFitnessPal. Hopefully this time I can do it
Fasting while working full time
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 10:28:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98v2ro/fasting_while_working_full_time/
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I really want to be able to extend my fast past 36 hours, but I work full time and I have a very fast paced intense job and I need to be able to think clearly.
I have read posts on r/fasting where people are all āI feel fine!! Not even hungry, so much clarity!! I fasted ten days while working full timeā and I just donāt get it. Are they full of it? Why is it so different for them? Itd be one thing if I was underweight, butitās not like I donāt have fat my body could be utilizing. I donāt get it and itās infuriating.
[Discussion] What's the most hurtful thing you've heard about your weight, and who said it?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Mon Aug 20 10:25:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98v1zj/whats_the_most_hurtful_thing_youve_heard_about/
---
[Rant/Rave] So upset, my gag reflex is dead
/u/sadbirdie12
Created: Mon Aug 20 10:05:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98uvtb/so_upset_my_gag_reflex_is_dead/
---
I canāt purge, never will be able to purge, and I HATE that it isnāt a backup option for me (I restrict/fast).
The truth? Sheās dead from sucking too much dick. RIP baby...
Febreeze scented garbage bags will keep you from eating food you've thrown away
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Aug 20 10:00:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98uu6r/febreeze_scented_garbage_bags_will_keep_you_from/
---
So if anyone else is a disgusting binge monster like me, this tip has saved me many times. Nothing is worse than being so out of control that you go into the trash for food you've already tossed, but the febreeze bags make everything taste like gross chemicals.
[Discussion] AFAB trans scared of chest NOT shrinking???
/u/lightningmcqueef69 [5'5" | CW 126.0 | GW 95 | NB | 18 | š: lightningmcqueef69]
Created: Mon Aug 20 09:54:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98usao/afab_trans_scared_of_chest_not_shrinking/
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title says most of it-
i'm nonbinary and get a lot of dysphoria around my chest, it's so satisfying when i lose weight and can't fit into old bras because they're too big but lately it seems like my tiddies are just always going to be the same size and it's so upsetting??? does anyone else experience this??
like i can't even wear my binder anymore bc i get chest pains from restricting so I'm stuck looking extra femme when i really wish i could be more androgynous
[Tip] Keep your scale in your kitchen, infront of where you keep your food- fridge, pantry etc. Step on it before deciding if you are sure you want to eat.
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Mon Aug 20 09:52:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98urmk/keep_your_scale_in_your_kitchen_infront_of_where/
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I moved out this year and this "tip" has kept me on track for a while now. If you want to take it up a notch you can stay on the scale while you eat. Kills the binge impulse, for me at least.
I'm aware this isn't a healthy eating habit but this is r/proED so I'm not sure where else to put it.
I binged today.
/u/sad_and_bougie
Created: Mon Aug 20 09:36:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98umyj/i_binged_today/
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Iām off work because Iām sick.
Itās been a really _really_ long time since I binged. But because I was having a pity party I binged on junk food and comfort food.
I thought about purging but my sinuses are already so inflamed I think my eyes would pop out if I tried.
I seriously thought I was past this. My total calories for today are 1 747 which I know objectively isnāt that bad, but I feel like Iāve ruined a good streak and am so worried about getting out of control again.
Iām going to go to work tomorrow no matter how Iām feeling because then at least I wonāt have the opportunity to binge.
[Help] Relapse in 3, 2, 1 ....
/u/pussystrongerthangod [168cm | 121lb | 19.5 | cow | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 09:34:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98um9v/relapse_in_3_2_1/
---
Hey!
I have been struggling with eating disorders for years now... the past few years bulimia has been the main issue.
Iāve been slowly but surely working my way out of this unhealthy mindset but for some reason itās trickling back into my life.
I weigh myself everyday... I donāt know why. I feel the urge to calorie count and fixate on my BMI and compare my stats to where I was last year.
I desperately donāt know how to avoid going down that rabbit hole again. I know how miserable and sick I get when I indulge in ED behaviours and yet here I am, indulging.
Iām actually quite happy with my physical appearance. Of course everyday I wish this didnāt stick out, that was smaller, those clothes would fit me. But Iām also proud of my healthy body that Iāve really struggled for.
I was just hoping someone would have some advice on how to stay on track?
Much love and consideration to you all!
Ps. Ignore my stats. I avoided this sub for a long time and never updated my flair.
[Discussion] DAE find people of the OPPOSITE sex more triggering?
/u/rachelcoiling [5'5" | 136 | 24.6 | -74 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 09:21:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ui9q/dae_find_people_of_the_opposite_sex_more/
---
For some reason, I find actors like Christian Bale in The Machinist, or Michael Fassbender in Hunger, far more triggering than any other stereotypically thin feminine roles, despite the fact that I'm a very feminine, run-of-the-mill heterosexual woman. I don't want to look *like* these men - but looking *at* them is very provoking.
Thin women simply do not trigger me whatsoever, in real life or on screen. Only men. Has anyone else had this experience? Any theories?
[Help] Ideas for work lunches?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 08:56:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98uaaq/ideas_for_work_lunches/
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Iām trying to figure out what to bring with me to work since eating at the cafeteria is getting expensive. My ideal food would be low cal (obviously), prepackaged (iām lazy), and look like āreal foodā (since people love to comment on what Iām eating). Something that doesnāt need a microwave or a fridge would be a plus but I have access to both. Any ideas?
[Help] Body fat percentage calculator ??
/u/lecollecteur
Created: Mon Aug 20 08:56:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98uaa8/body_fat_percentage_calculator/
---
Iāve tried a lot of different sites online and they all give the vastly different readings, whatās an accurate site to calculate it ??
All the shit people don't tell you about ED's
/u/taikutsuu [5'9'' | cw: 125 | 18.08 bmi | gw: 110 | 18f]
Created: Mon Aug 20 08:36:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98u3xw/all_the_shit_people_dont_tell_you_about_eds/
---
My biggest one would probably be how uncomfortable it is to sleep. My hip bones stick out so much that laying on my side is painful, and it gives me such a hard time when falling asleep.
What's your greatest issue people don't tell you about?
Panicking, why are pickles 0 cals and cucumbers are 11?!
/u/sonospaventato
Created: Mon Aug 20 08:17:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98tye3/panicking_why_are_pickles_0_cals_and_cucumbers/
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My life is a lie!
Eating and drinking sounds gross me out
/u/BeginningBarnacle
Created: Mon Aug 20 07:59:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98tsuc/eating_and_drinking_sounds_gross_me_out/
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I know this is a real thing, but I am a mom and wife and somehow it seems awful and out of place for the sounds my family makes, drive me so completely crazy.
Gulping/swallowing- this sound for me is repulsive and almost physically unbearable.
Jaw click- hubby has a jaw click that is not his fault, but it makes me actually annoyed to the point of anger
Chewing, snacking lips, etc donāt bother me at all for the most part.
I generally try to get up lots and move things around the table to distract myself. Sometimes I hum quietly to try and drown out sounds.
I know itās an actual thing, but still it feels petty and pathetic and judgy
After telling my husband a couple years back, he was incredulous, and pretty much said it was a āmeā problem
[Rant/Rave] Living with other people is hell
/u/imgonnaloseitall
Created: Mon Aug 20 07:56:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ts0c/living_with_other_people_is_hell/
---
I'm only 17 so I live with my mum and 4 of my younger siblings.
ITS HELL ON EARTH
I always end up overrating because there are always so many snacks in the house. I'm talking cookies, chocolate, crisps. There is fruit available as well, but how can I hold back when there are chocolate biscuits to be eaten?
Not only that, but my mum is such a good cook, and due to where my family come from most of the dishes that are made contain rice. RICE IS MY KRYPTONITE. I could eat kilos of the stuff.
If I lived by myself then I wouldn't have to worry as much because I just wouldn't buy any of it. I can't even count the amount of times that I was about to end the day with <500 calories, only to then go and ruin it all with a load of trash. Then I have to go and try to purge it all up, and as you guys know that shit is painful
I can't wait until I can go to university and live more independently because when I am in this house I am constantly sabotaging myself.
[Rant/Rave] i ate more than a thousand calories today
/u/chzkayla
Created: Mon Aug 20 07:45:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98tp8b/i_ate_more_than_a_thousand_calories_today/
---
havenāt done that in months, i am shitting myself, so close to an anxiety attack right now, because i am so close to my goal weight, like 0.6lbs and i just ate like a thousand calories.
i am so scared, but happy that i am eating over a thousand calories. do anybody get that idea? of being scared that you will gain weight and happy that you are eating above your targeted calories.
idk. i feel like i will weigh myself tomorrow and be a mess because i will gain so much weight. fml
[Discussion] What do you find (for lack of a better term) the most triggering for your ED?
/u/3cats_in_atrenchcoat
Created: Mon Aug 20 07:40:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98tnpt/what_do_you_find_for_lack_of_a_better_term_the/
---
Giving up
/u/runningonempty94 [5'5" | 146 | 24.6 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 07:34:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98tmai/giving_up/
---
(Sorry on mobile, idk how to flair)
Sorry this is super disorganized.
I was active on this sub like 5 years ago, but my friends pressured me into choosing recovery so I quit and worked on getting better. And it worked for a little while. But every year or two I would relapse and start all over. And all the while, my depression was getting worse and worse. I started out fine, then I started to be a little down, now I spend my free time fanticizing about my death. And to make it worse, I've been gaining weight out of control. For the first time in my life, I crossed the "obese" line. (TBH surprised I didn't kill myself right then and there)
So the way I see it, all this effort has been for nothing. I'm back in a worse place than I was before I started any of my rounds of treatment. So what's the point? I'm officially giving up. Recovery/life just isn't a thing that works for everyone, and it's not going to work for me.
My plan for the rest of my life is to halt all my other "goals", focus on losing weight, and once I'm down to an acceptable size, kill myself. (I know this order of events may sound odd to people -- I just can't die when I'm this fat. It would be humiliating for people to remember me this way) In the meantime I'll try to distance myself from my friends so I don't hurt them too much in the end, and I'll keep seeing a therapist for hospice-type care. It makes me sad that my life has ended up this way, but I don't see any better options.
Much love.
[Help] I am REALLY struggling not to weigh myself.
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 175 lbs | 30.63 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 07:01:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98tdmw/i_am_really_struggling_not_to_weigh_myself/
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I started restricting again a little over a week ago at 177.2 pounds. I weighed myself last Wednesday and was at 175. Fucking gross
I haven't weighed myself since then and I'm trying to wait until September 1st. It's definitely motivating me because I am hell-bent on not being disappointed - I know I've lost a good amount of water weight, and I've been restricting a lot.
The thing is, it's so, so hard for me not to weigh myself. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with this, or any motivational speeches on why I shouldn't weigh myself?
THIS IS SO HARD aaaggghhhhh.
[Discussion] Hey guys, how are you today?
/u/lupoverde
Created: Mon Aug 20 06:28:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98t5fw/hey_guys_how_are_you_today/
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my favorite 0 cal breakfast:)
/u/wetbookshelf [5ā3 | CW: 95 lbs | BMI: 17.26 | GW: idk skinnier]
Created: Mon Aug 20 06:26:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98t4xr/my_favorite_0_cal_breakfast/
---
https://i.redd.it/n6jx9qomr8h11.jpg
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! August 20, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 20 06:14:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98t27m/weekly_stats_update_august_20_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for August 20, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 20, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 20 06:14:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98t26r/daily_food_diary_august_20_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 20, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Remember: winners and losers both make mistakes.
/u/fitterbythesecondd [178cm | cw81kg | 178lbs | -13.6kg/-30lbs | 25F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 04:52:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98skmv/remember_winners_and_losers_both_make_mistakes/
---
The difference is that losers give up and winners don't.
This is a post for everyone who feels like they will never reach their goals. You'll get there if you don't give up.
Canāt restrict if Iām tracking food ??
/u/lecollecteur
Created: Mon Aug 20 04:50:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98skc7/cant_restrict_if_im_tracking_food/
---
I donāt know if anyone else has this problem, but I can go days without eating if Iām not paying attention?? I mean if Iām tracking calories and food intake I notice that I feel so hungry but if Iām not consciously thinking about food I can fast for ages.
TMI warning: one thing I love...
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Mon Aug 20 04:45:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98sjc3/tmi_warning_one_thing_i_love/
---
One thing I love about my period is the huge poos. Lol!
Sorry for being gross. Just had to share
[Rant/Rave] I've lost nearly 30lbs and my work uniform is literally falling off of me. All the bigger girls at work are suddenly being salty af and rude to me, like dirty looks when I was talking to another girl about my weight loss...
/u/graeciamagna
Created: Mon Aug 20 04:29:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98sgbr/ive_lost_nearly_30lbs_and_my_work_uniform_is/
---
Like honestly I used to be really big and I get how they feel but don't fucking take it out on me. They're all nasty anyway but now I'm being treated differently for LOSING FAT AND GETTING HEALTHY? What the fuck is going on? I fucking hate my job. I fucking hate all these people with zero aspirations and zero life goals and zero motivation so they take their apathy out on people doing stuff with their life. Fuck this shit. Fuck you. Stop making me feel guilty for my choices. Stop making me feel guilty because I have the willpower to not eat. Go away. How do I deal with this shit?
[Other] I ran my end of summer goal today (2 weeks early) without completely dying!!
/u/landfill7707
Created: Mon Aug 20 04:25:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98sfm4/i_ran_my_end_of_summer_goal_today_2_weeks_early/
---
I feel like I post way too often but I just want to celebrate and tell someone. I run by calories (burn __ # of calories no matter how long it takes) and I usually stick to 100 cals ā a nice round number albeit kinda low. Iāve been working towards running 200 by the end of my summer break and today I just kept going and ended up burning 210 in a single run. Go me
[Rant/Rave] Iām a fat ass
/u/blood-n-caffiene
Created: Mon Aug 20 02:48:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ry3a/im_a_fat_ass/
---
Trying not to be so self-critical is just a way to let myself off too easy.
I could be eating way less and pushing myself harder with my work outs. My arms look pretty toned, but everything else looks terrible still. Still jiggly.
Fuck, I hate my pathetic fat body!
Now that I'm pretty significantly underweight, how do I beat the physiological cravings for and obsession with food?
/u/throwsawaymylife [165cm | ~43kg | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 02:25:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98rudu/now_that_im_pretty_significantly_underweight_how/
---
I've been eating about 800-1000 calories a day for over a year now, and I kind of just wanna be 40kg and stop there (maintain). But I think I've started to overeat. I'm obsessed with food and even though I'm skinny, it's literally all I think about. At a party, I'm the smallest one there and I'm also the only one standing by the food table stuffing my face. I've done some research, and apparently my desire to eat a lot now might be to do with my brain telling me I need to put on weight - which I really don't want to do. I know I'm not fat, and it'd be 'good' for me to eat more, which is why I find it so hard to find a reason not to. Can anyone help me? I only made this post because on normal 'help me to stop eating' posts, it's overweight people but because I'm underweight I feel like it's different and you guys might be able to help me out. Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] feeling frustrated because i could have avoided a binge
/u/scornedcinnamon [4'11.5" | CW: 93 | 18.5 | GW: 80 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 02:14:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98rshb/feeling_frustrated_because_i_could_have_avoided_a/
---
i've been binging/restricting pretty much for the past month and haven't been making much progress. i had decided yesterday would be the perfect day to start anew. i didn't eat too much all day, ate maybe 500 cals about 3 hours before i fell asleep and decided to call it a night. right? wrong. i woke up an hour later hungry so i decided to eat a small meal around 200-300 cals to be able to sleep since i don't want to create an aggressive deficit right away to prevent a huge binge tomorrow.
what i had planned: some leftover catfish with alexia vegetable pilaf and maybe some fruit
what actually happened:
my dad followed me into the kitchen because he heard me get up and watched me heat up the food. it made me so so damn anxious to have someone watching me like that even though he wasn't doing it negatively. then he washed the pan out of kindness and i swear something clicked in my head. it made me instantly not want to heat up any more food and i almost felt ashamed?
so i finished the food i cooked up pretty quickly since it was a kinda small portion and i was really craving more of the vegetable pilaf. but did i cook more of it? *noooooo* my dumb ass decided to turn things into a binge! yay! i'm not even sure why i was so mentally aggressively opposed to cooking more of the vegetables? then i wouldn't have eaten even more catfish (cold lol), half of a coffee bun, che thai, a whole bag of seaweed sesame crisps, and a ton of chocolate covered raisins in a mindless haze.
to top it all off, my parents sat me down and had a long conversation about wanting me to see a therapist or a psychologist or a nutritionist. but i don't feel like i am "sick" enough to warrant that because of my current physiological state.
sorry rant over. i just feel so alone and frustrated with myself and this subreddit is where i feel like people can relate.
tl;dr i should have just cooked some damn vegetables to avoid a binge but when my dad cleaned the pan (bless his heart), i ended up binging instead. hah.
[Rant/Rave] you ever not eat for two days so you can down a whole bottle of captain with no ragrets
/u/psybeams [5'3 | 17f | cw : 114 | gw : 100 | bmi : 20]
Created: Mon Aug 20 02:03:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98rqn3/you_ever_not_eat_for_two_days_so_you_can_down_a/
---
don't feel alone hoe
Ugh.
/u/DistortionPuddle [5'7"|CW:143|BMI:22.4 |GW:125|31F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 01:44:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98rn69/ugh/
---
Having one of *those* weeks. Yāall know. Each day is a crap shoot of under 500 or over 2k. Moderation is not exactly my forte...š
Does my friend have a disease?
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Mon Aug 20 01:34:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98rlic/does_my_friend_have_a_disease/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/98rknz/does_my_friend_have_a_disease/
[Discussion] DAE Swallow air to feel more full?
/u/HungryThrowMeAway [š¹4'11 | CW 98-96 lbs | GW 95 lbs | -27 lbs | Fš¹]
Created: Mon Aug 20 00:59:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98rexr/dae_swallow_air_to_feel_more_full/
---
Whenever I'm feeling super empty, I get in touch with my inner birthday balloon by snacking on that crispy, cronchy oxygen to feel fuller.
Lately, I've caught myself doing it without even realizing until I'm on like my fifth gulp.
Look. It's like the middle of the night here, and my sleep-deprived and nutrient-starved caffeine brain NEEDS to know if anyone else does this.
Old clothing
/u/DoNotEatAllTheDonuts [5'7 | Baby Elephant | GW 110| 27F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 00:53:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98rdo7/old_clothing/
---
I hit my lowest weight at 21-22 years old of 103 pounds, and I thought I was the biggest person in the world. I was a nerd who wore a ton of super hero shirts and stuff like that and for some reason I kept them. Probably because I secretly want to wake up and be that small again. Anyways, my 8 year old sister has started wearing them because she's into marvel and all that. You guys my shirts fit my perfectly healthy 8 year old sister. This is the first time I'm realizing that my dysmorphia is so fucked. I wish there was some way to see what we actually look like.
[Discussion] Felt "disconnected" from my disorder for about 2 weeks, does this happen to anyone else?
/u/leftshoelauren [5'3"F | SW 185 | CW 155 | GW 110 | š tinyren]
Created: Mon Aug 20 00:28:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98r95w/felt_disconnected_from_my_disorder_for_about_2/
---
This is just going to be me talking through my feelings from the past 2 weeks, has anyone else experienced this?
I have been heavily restricting (<500) and exercising nearly everyday for about 3 weeks now. The past two weeks in particular I've been eating at a *much* higher "restriction" (<1200) and barely calorie counting at all. I have no idea where this came from and I feel so... lost?
Sometime last week I went from 154 to 158.6 overnight. I hadn't been counting properly for about 3 or 4 days but I *know* I didn't go over maintenance. Instead of kicking my ass back into gear, it made me feel very "fuck it" and I just haven't been truly counting since (still not eating over maintenance). I got my period yesterday and my weight is back down to 154.4, so the 4 pound gain turned out to be literally just good ole period weight gain.
I just think it's so weird that I gave up that easily? I have no idea what's been up with me. I just binged on fucking grapes and chocolate hummus. I never binge on literally anything. What the fuck am I doing?
Anyway I'm going to the gym tomorrow and going back to high restriction and regular logging. I'm honestly feeling kind of sick from the 2lbs of grapes I just ate but I'm hoping it'll make me poop without lax lmao.
Just wondering if anyone else goes through "phases" of feeling disconnected from their disorder? I wouldn't call this a recovery phase by any means but I just couldn't bring myself to give a fuck about it for the past 2 weeks.
Posted in the entrance of my kitchen.
/u/FeatherWorld [šGW 75 for now :/šCW 82š F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 00:20:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98r7q8/posted_in_the_entrance_of_my_kitchen/
---
https://i.redd.it/cbynjkn8y6h11.jpg
Accountability. My boyfriend understands.
/u/FeatherWorld [šGW 75 for now :/šCW 82š F]
Created: Mon Aug 20 00:18:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98r7at/accountability_my_boyfriend_understands/
---
https://i.redd.it/cedb9gtvx6h11.jpg
I'm happy my boyfriend understands my need for accountability
/u/FeatherWorld [šGW 75 for now :/šCW 82š F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 23:58:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98r3bq/im_happy_my_boyfriend_understands_my_need_for/
---
https://i.redd.it/jxiqd25nt6h11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Having a stupid anxiety attack over buying a new scale... I need suggestions pleaseeee, I am scared they are liars and I feel insane right now!
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Sun Aug 19 23:50:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98r20v/having_a_stupid_anxiety_attack_over_buying_a_new/
---
Okay so the only reason my CW is listed at 100 is because about a month ago (mid July) this was my weight on a few different scales of friends I was staying with at the time (ranging from 98-101). Since then it may have went up a little but I know it didn't go down. I feel really large in my body. I was losing weight pretty consistently and feel like I have reached a plateau. I then panicked for a few days...thought I was dying and wanted to "recover" that lasted a few days then I was like what the hell!!!! That broke my low restriction (800) with a 3 day binge purge of cookies and ice cream and who knows.
I want to believe all my clothes etc. fit me the same and I think they do, I think it's in my head....idk but I feel blob-ish idk if that makes sense. Like nothing has changed or I gained a little or am just bloated from new meds. My restriction hasn't been that heavy as it was but not enough to make me gain a tonnnn of weight. I need to hit low restriction again especially since I do not want to gain wait on this lithium.
Does it make sense to anyone else when your body just pauses at a weight you feel fat and obese and gross.
Unlike the scale used to be... it actually motivated me to lose more. I didn't care I was up a lb. I just made sure to eat less.
So I want a new scale...the reviews online scare me....I want to spend around $30, was looking at bed, bath, and beyond. I am just scared to get one that reads crazy inaccurate every time you step.
So here I am, almost 2 am, heart pounding, over what scale to buy tomorrow and seeing how much I weigh to get back down and reach my GW.
Does anyone have any suggestions I am kinda low on money right now so like I said around $30 is kinda my limit.
[Help] I'm back, sadly
/u/fizzyvelvet [5'5"| 141 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 23:43:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98r0hi/im_back_sadly/
---
I was IA on reddit and proed for a period of 2-3 months, mainly because I had fallen out of my anorexia (for lack of a better way to put it). Unfortunately, my "recovery" was short lived. The calorie counting thoughts are back in my head after a summer of trying to (and succeeding) in telling myself that i was at a completely normal, healthy weight. I'm back on my obsessing water fasting again...
I want to approach my family and tell them about my ed so that i can get help, but i'm scared to do so. My family's one of those stereotypical "you have [insert any mental health issue here]? hahaha lol that's a white people problem" poc families. Does anyone have any tips on how to approach the subject?
[Rant/Rave] I just want someone to say I look āanorexicā or ātoo thinā.
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Sun Aug 19 23:36:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98qzac/i_just_want_someone_to_say_i_look_anorexic_or_too/
---
Possible TW, not sure. I hate my horrible ED but all I want is to look super thin- thin enough so someone would reach out and say something. Then I would know Iām doing the right thing. Then I would be satisfied. But we are *never* satisfied are we? Only until flowers grow through my bones in the ground Iāll finally feel beautiful.
[Rant/Rave] It's so easy for me to fast and restrict... until I'm offered food.
/u/Gnarlyjtw
Created: Sun Aug 19 23:14:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98quqo/its_so_easy_for_me_to_fast_and_restrict_until_im/
---
I haven't been able to fast more that 43 hours the last 2, simply because I can't say no to free food. I don't even want it.. I just eat it because it's in front of me and once I start it doesn't stop until I feel sick. The last few days I've done 2 40hr fasts followed by a 3,000-4,000cal binge. I don't know how to stop doing this to myself. I don't know how to say no. I'm very thankful that there are people around me that willfully buy food for me, but I wish they wouldn't sometimes...
[Other] God, im so pathetic
/u/PhoneWalletSanity [156cm/5'1.5| 100 lbs| 19.4| 18F| Exploring Recovery]
Created: Sun Aug 19 22:33:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98qmkj/god_im_so_pathetic/
---
I was violently sobbing on bed and realised my abs were flexing with each shudder so of course, ED Me^tm started prodding at my stomach to feel how well formed my abs are.
Of course I can't have a mental breakdown over just one thing; it has to be a multilayered bonanza of self hatred and pity.
[Goal] 60+ hour fast
/u/angelic-rose [š¹ 19F | 5ā6 | 127 | 20.41 | GW1 120]
Created: Sun Aug 19 22:26:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ql4m/60_hour_fast/
---
Iām currently an hour into (what I hope will be) my longest fast yet. Iām getting up early tomorrow morning to move back in to my dorm and will be busy unpacking for the entire first day, then Iāll occupy myself with other things on Tuesday, go to classes Wednesday and break my fast with a small lunch.
Iāve got a couple bottles of Powerade Zero, multiple kinds of tea, and cold water to hold me off until Wednesday at noon. I can make a run to the store tomorrow night to get anything else I may need if anyone has any recommendations.
Anyone is welcome to join me!! :-)
I THINK MY SCALE IS BROKEN
/u/Heartfeltregret
Created: Sun Aug 19 22:24:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98qkpr/i_think_my_scale_is_broken/
---
Okay, so I got on it today and it read 103 lbs, and I was like āthereās absolutely no way Iāve *lost* weight after what I ate todayā so I tried again and it said 99.2 lbs, so at that point I was like āthereās something wrongā, but naturally, I weigh myself another 5 times and it reads a bunch of different weights within about the same 10 pounds. So now Iām like panicking thinking it may have been lying to me for months and that Iām actually *way* fatter than I even thought.
"No, you lost SO much weight"
/u/TouchedDistortion
Created: Sun Aug 19 22:14:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98qim1/no_you_lost_so_much_weight/
---
"You lost so much weight!"
Me: "not that much..."
"No, you lost SO much weight"
I've lost around 15 pounds this summer and I've been told by a few ppl that I'm "tiny" and I've "shrunk". This is a convo I had w one of my oldest friends who I saw to today after not seeing her for a couple months (we don't really keep in touch that much anymore). I didn't think I was THAT big before but if it looks like I lost "SO" much weight I guess I looked bigger than I thought....
I want this to be something I can twist into being motivation to lose more weight but it's just upsetting me right now :/
[Other] I feel like a failure (idk what else to flair this as) [TW]
/u/seedlesssunflower
Created: Sun Aug 19 21:56:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98qetp/i_feel_like_a_failure_idk_what_else_to_flair_this/
---
I jam my fingers deep down my throat and all I do is gag. Iāll spit up some saliva at most, but for some reason it feels good. Itās therapeutic. My throat hurts. Iām sucking on a cough drop to soothe the pain. I consider it a tick I have when Iām anxious or have no way of expressing my feelings
Obvi not asking for tips, I apologize if it sounds that way and Iām more than willing to re-word this so it doesnāt sound that way.
Love,
A fat fuck
[Help] Binge Bounce-Back success stories
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 21:44:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98qccm/binge_bounceback_success_stories/
---
Iām feeling really down on myself after overeating for the last two days, and I would love to hear some words of encouragement/success stories from people who bounced back from binge days and got back on track. How were you able to mentally reset? What helped you stay on track? How much did it slow down progress?
i love doing omad
/u/1caru3
Created: Sun Aug 19 21:35:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98qad1/i_love_doing_omad/
---
hahahaha isnāt omad so great?? i love saving up all my calories for the end of the day and then binging uncontrollably for two hours because āi fasted the first part of the dayā and technically itās one meal and then attempting to purge but nothing comes up ;)))) lovely
i finally hit my pre-vacation weight too... guess itās back to fasting as long as i can without my parents noticing!!
Lord help me
/u/dragaynite
Created: Sun Aug 19 21:14:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98q5ey/lord_help_me/
---
I binged on 3,120 calories worth of those little Milano cookies within half an hour. That puts my total to around 4,215 for today. Iām going to scream why am I like this, Iām supposed to be going to the beach tomorrow and I was bloated to begin with due to my period coming up.
Now Iām going to be a beached whale while my friend looks perfect all the time.
Whyyyy
[Rant/Rave] Crisis averted
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 119 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Sun Aug 19 20:59:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98q1vh/crisis_averted/
---
Today I ate a banana and some salad. Great right? So thereās this chicken food truck on campus I love and my friends wanted to get McDonalds. I could have gotten the chicken or a hashbrown but I didnāt. I stuck to my plan. It was nice to smell the food though m.
This is a fucking waste of money
/u/choosingthin
Created: Sun Aug 19 20:49:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98pzii/this_is_a_fucking_waste_of_money/
---
But I finally hit it. We went to an all you can eat sushi restaurant, and I could only eat 2 rolls (choking some pieces down). For dinner we did chili dogs, and I could only eat half. Tonight weāre having a few drinks, and I made rice as a chaser and have only taken a bite. I never thought I would get back to this point, and I have no idea how I made it here, but Iām not going to lie, Iām happy.
[Other] My biggest fear is being fat
/u/Thtcrazygiraffe
Created: Sun Aug 19 20:43:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98py40/my_biggest_fear_is_being_fat/
---
EXCEPT IM FUCKING FAT SO IM LIVING IN MY OWN NIGHTMARE
[Help] How many calories are in uncooked ramen
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Sun Aug 19 20:08:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ppvx/how_many_calories_are_in_uncooked_ramen/
---
I really enjoy eating it. And I wonder how it differed versus when itās cooked. Iām a college student so thereās ramen everywhere. I like eating it raw but wanna know.
Rant. First time post.
/u/Ednasucks
Created: Sun Aug 19 20:04:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98posy/rant_first_time_post/
---
I've been lurking here a while, and I need to rant because no one who knows me in real life gets it.
This weekend was bad. I'd been pushed into telling my psychologist who didn't have much experience with EDs and insisted I start eating at least 1200 and back up to maintenance. Whilst I have been sitting some where between 500 and 700 a day. Only hitting 700 because friends insisted I eat more, and I didn't want to disappoint them.
But I couldn't keep it up after a surprise meal and super unhelpful comments from old work friends. I lost a dramatic amount of weight, initially healthy but towards the end this whole thing started. I'm still a normal BMI/weight so people don't realise what making jokes about not eating to balance out a cupcake is doing to me.
Anyway, on the weekend I tried to be normal. I ate food at a party and promptly lost my mind. My support person is understandably wearing out with having to hear my ED BS all the time (he was the only one who knew for about 2 months), and made a comment along the lines of don't you see how sick you are, when you think 1000 over your (500) limit is too much. Your limit is stupid. He then needed some space because I started justifying the 500 etc.
But after that, and the constant tears, being too tired to apply for my dream job, I am going to try and get better. Starting with 800 today. Maybe I'll get close to 1200 by the end of the week but being honest with myself, every time I get close to 800 I end up at 500 the next day. I'm sick of this being the only thing I care about. I am sick of being fucking cold all the time. I want to be pleasant to be around. I want to believe I can get better.
I still feel like I did this to myself and this is a choice I made, because I was aware I was being unhealthy about food but I didn't stop myself when I still could. But I get that maybe thats the ED speaking.
Sorry this is so incoherant. I still don't feel I belong here but I needed some one to hear me.
[Rant/Rave] TFW you reach your UGW but then start binging šš
/u/orchia [5'7.5" | CW 115 | maintaining | 17F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 19:38:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98pi7j/tfw_you_reach_your_ugw_but_then_start_binging/
---
I used to hover between 115-118 lbs but Iāve been eating way too fucking much these past few weeks. I went to Europe with my family and decided to just let myself āenjoyā the food there, which turned into 5 days of eating 2000+ calories (my maintenance is 1300-1400).
And I havenāt been able to get it back under control since Iāve been back, either. I have a couple days of eating maintenance and then I binge ā we celebrated my brother and Iās birthdays today and I turned it into an excuse to eat 3000+ calories.
I feel so bloated and sick right now and I hate myself. Last time I got to my UGW (95 lbs) I binged my way up to 162 and had to lose it all over again. Iām so terrified thatās going to happen AGAIN, after all my hard work. Iām too scared to even step on the scale right now. I start college next week and Iām just praying Iāll get my binging under control by then.
[Rant/Rave] Imposter syndrome
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 19:32:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98pgz6/imposter_syndrome/
---
Me: *restricts / fasts 90% of the time*
Also me: * ābingesā /eats normally for two days*
Me: Iām a fraud and my eating disorder is a fraud and me losing enough weight to end up inpatient was a fluke accident and was probably also fake and I wasted everyoneās time and money and I will never be thing again :) :)
Whelp. Got my first concerned "you've lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you.." comment. Buckle up lads and lasses.
/u/HungryThrowMeAway [š¹4'11 | CW 98-96 lbs | GW 95 lbs | -27 lbs | Fš¹]
Created: Sun Aug 19 19:23:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98pemc/whelp_got_my_first_concerned_youve_lost_a_lot_of/
---
Alright, so first off, some sweet, juicy, aspartame flavoured background.
A lady who is also a family friend teaches excersize classes. She was doing one tonight, so I decided to check it out. I haven't seen her in a little over a month (I'm friends with her daughter). Last time she saw me, I was overweight.
So, she sees me, and after a few minutes of class, whips out the concerned tone + face and says "You've lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you.. Oh, it must be because your father can't cook, and your mom was away!"
I kind of awkwardly have to say that, no, I lost the weight on purpose and not because my father can't tell a toaster from a frying pan (I'm still at a healthy weight, so I'm not at the stage where I need to lie about it yet).
Overall it was just really awkward, and left me feeling kind of crummy. I'm not super thin or anything (currently smack dab where I should be), so that kind of comment felt a bit unwarranted. And that it never occurred to her that maybe, just maybe I had lost the weight on purpose.
Yet I also feel kind of really good because that's the first time a non-family member has commented on me looking thinner so WOOHOO! God, I am a confused mess right now, LOL. How is it possible to feel so happy, yet ashamed at the same time??
And then five minutes later she's talking about her weight loss challenges and how many calories she thinks she's burning.
Also, and I hate, hate, HATE myself for feeling this way, but another reason I felt kind of annoyed by her concern was due to the fact that it was coming from an overweight person who goes on and on about her diet and workout challenges. Yet I also felt an effed up pride for being smaller than she is, and 'succeeding' at what she's failing at (because surviving on nothing but caffeine, sugar free gum, and my own tears is totally success amirite??). Dear god I HATE myself for that. She's a lovely woman who was showing concern for me, and that's how I feel. I'm so, so sorry.
Sorry for this post turning into a ramble. I'm just so confused... ugh. I'm ashamed, and happy, and proud, and guilty, and I want another stick of gum but can't have it because it's too many calories.
[Other] first good day in a while
/u/UsualLetter
Created: Sun Aug 19 19:04:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98pa3u/first_good_day_in_a_while/
---
had a good day today for the first time in a long time. saw good friends and was with my boyfriend. i even ate a normal amount today. like 800~ calories but thats still a lot for me. really happy :)
GUYS GUYS GUYS I haven't purged in a month! I'm still nowhere near my dream body but mentally, I've gotten 100000000% better from stopping :)
/u/ignorado [š: ignorado]
Created: Sun Aug 19 18:59:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98p8vq/guys_guys_guys_i_havent_purged_in_a_month_im/
---
I just wanted to share this with someone other than my therapist. I'm super proud of myself. It's been the combination of 1. changing birth control to one that doesn't make me binge eat as much 2. my boyfriend living with me, being around me 24/7 this summer 3. actually going to therapy and telling myself I deserve recovery and 4. getting fake nails to make the idea of purging even more unpleasant.
I guess this is an accountability post too, because hopefully I never purge again in my life! Here's to another month!
[Rant/Rave] Can we all just agree that r/1200isjerky is not a "healthy eating" sub? It's based on satire about disordered eating habits.
/u/n34543 [5'5 | CW: 127 | 21.1 | GW: 117 ]
Created: Sun Aug 19 18:55:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98p7u3/can_we_all_just_agree_that_r1200isjerky_is_not_a/
---
Before you all get your pitchforks, I AM NOT SAYING THAT EVERYONE THAT DIETS HAS AN ED!!! Another post triggered me and I wanna rant. Also, this rant is all over the place but oh well.
Some people in this sub get mad when people crosspost or call out posts from other subs and point out disordered behaviors. Whatever. I'll admit that I've done it and some people agree and some people get mad.
But can we all agree that r/1200isjerky is not a healthy eating sub? Because it literally isn't supposed to be a sub based on healthy eating. The sub itself is mostly people from r/1200isplenty making jokes about themselves and poking fun and the extremes they go to in order to get under 1200 cals. Some of these extremes happen to display disordered behavior. Oh well. The whole point is that r/1200isjerky IS SATIRE. What's wrong with saying that the posts in r/1200isjerky look like they could be from this sub or r/proEDmemes? Because some of the behaviors and jokes end up overlapping so it doesn't make sense to say that this sub "encourages other people to have EDs"
Some people think that other subs display disordered behavior. Other people don't. Fair enough. I personally think that a lot of people who try to restrict really low as a diet are at a high risk of displaying disordered eating behaviors, which doesn't necessarily mean they have an ED, but maybe that's just me.
TL;DR- BASICALLY r/1200isplenty IS JUST SATIRE AND IVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE IN THIS SUB ENCOURAGING ED BEHAVIORS. Like as in genuinely being like: hey! try starving yourself until you don't hate yourself anymore! That would be bad. A meme isn't.
Binging on a budget: eating three McDonaldās hamburgers in four minutes
/u/throwawaybaby401
Created: Sun Aug 19 18:54:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98p7kw/binging_on_a_budget_eating_three_mcdonalds/
---
[Help] Iām being taken to the doctor and iām terrified
/u/secretweightloss [5ā4ā M]
Created: Sun Aug 19 18:51:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98p6va/im_being_taken_to_the_doctor_and_im_terrified/
---
Iāve fallen hard for a girl and she doesnāt seem to feel exactly the same way but for some stupid reason she seems to care about me? She said sheās worried about my disordered eating and wants me to see a doctor, and that sheād take time off work to come with me so I donāt have to go alone
I donāt think iām even that bad tbh, iām still WAY overweight and I eat sometimes. But I donāt want to disappoint her, I like her so much it hurts and I want to be good for her.
So I think Iām going in a week and a bit and Iām terrified. I donāt know whatās scarier, being told I have a problem or being laughed out of the place because obviously iām too fat to have an eating disorder
[Rant/Rave] my mom made food while i was at work today and i want to die
/u/InLoveWithStyrofoam [5'5" | 104.6lbs | GW: 100 | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 19 18:48:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98p688/my_mom_made_food_while_i_was_at_work_today_and_i/
---
she made biscuits and bread and i didnāt eat of it tonight but holy shit. iām at 29 hours and i was hoping for 72 but this just really fucks me over, huh?
Rice cakes and peanut butter are cancelled until I learn how to act right
/u/letgoor
Created: Sun Aug 19 18:33:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98p2gn/rice_cakes_and_peanut_butter_are_cancelled_until/
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Iāve been binging on rice cakes and PB almost every 3rd night. Itās my usual night snack but it goes terribly wrong about twice a week and I kept buying the rice cakes anyway because I kept saying āwell Iām a new woman, I wonāt binge on them anymore, plus I love rice cakes and Iām trying to lose weight THE HEALTHY WAY so itās a perfect snack:)ā nope nope nope cannot trust self around fucking. rice. cakes.....anymore.
I just srsly need to lose these last 6 lbs so my face and arms can thin out and be perfectš©. w H y. Is this so difficult Iāve literally lost weight so many times before. How is this so difficult?!
Lowkey want to fast for a whole week but the most Iāve made it is 24 hours a long time ago so š©ššš
How to get into exercising
/u/mabver321 [5'1 | CW 143 | GW 110| F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 17:55:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ot6w/how_to_get_into_exercising/
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I can't seem to get convince myself to get off my ass and exercise even when I know it would help my weight. What made exercising a habit for you?
[Rant/Rave] GW Woes
/u/coffeehearts [5'5" | CW 126.8 | GW 116 | BMI 21.1 | F(26)]
Created: Sun Aug 19 17:39:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98op66/gw_woes/
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The more weight I lose, the more weight I realize I have left to lose. I feel like I have lost weight disproportionately making me look fatter in the middle.
After losing some weight I've got small legs and tits (which are saggy af now btw) but my stomach is still big. I feel like the only way to be proportionate is to lose another 10 lbs. And I just don't know if I can do it. It seems impossible because I'm approaching my lowest weight ever and I feel like I can't get lower than that. All I have to do is keep my intake under 1400 and I should make my goal weight... But if I've lost 14 lbs and hate the way I look now, I probably won't feel any different when I reach my goal weight.
Just screaming into the void right now, I'll feel better after I've had some coffee. Thanks for letting me vent <3
[Intro] I admit it, I have a problem
/u/theleftoveryou [5'5'' | CW ??? | SW 112 | 23F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 17:34:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98onzw/i_admit_it_i_have_a_problem/
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I've been in denial that what I'm doing is abnormal. sure, *technically* i might be underweight, and *technically* i might be eating at a huge deficit, and sure, maybe I'm weak and lethargic and my period is already a week late and still hasn't come... but I've never thrown up on purpose, and I'll stop as soon as I reach my goal weight, and today I'm going to a restaurant I really want to try and I can totally eat a proper dinner there and that proves I'm fine! right?
Well ok, I ate a proper dinner there after no food all day. Even before dinner was over I was planning out my jogging route for tomorrow (got to take advantage of having the energy to exercise, right?) and all my calories for the next 3 days. Then after the meal it felt like so much food I got a stomachache. I feel like such a pig even though I couldn't have eaten more than maintenance for the day. I'm at my parents' house with no scale at the moment (hence the flair) but I already feel like I've gained weight.
So yeah, I guess I have a problem. Hi there, fellow people with a problem. Pleased to meet you.
sweet lady heroin, you're the only one who is always there for me
/u/PozitivePerson
Created: Sun Aug 19 17:30:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98on05/sweet_lady_heroin_youre_the_only_one_who_is/
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everyone else gets mad when i slip, but you're always here for me. you're the one who tells me it's ok when i fall
Does being cold really burn calories?
/u/finnkat [5'3 | 90lbs | 16.4 | 19f]
Created: Sun Aug 19 17:14:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98oixj/does_being_cold_really_burn_calories/
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And if so is it enough to even matter? I just started a job stocking dairy and spend most of my 8hrs in a cooler and its absolutely miserable. Please tell me there's at least a little perk?
[Help] I fasted for 17 hours and I just threw up.
/u/nobodyshoe
Created: Sun Aug 19 17:06:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ogu4/i_fasted_for_17_hours_and_i_just_threw_up/
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I have fastest for multiple days before and I am obese not underweight
I was in the shower, it was getting hard to stand so I sat down then I got up and started to feel my legs weaken so I sat on the toilet and called my mom asking if she was home so she could get me a drink and some food when I started vomiting clear liquid. I've been having very liquid poops all day and now this.
This has never happened before and I have not fasted in literal months.
What's wrong.
[Rant/Rave] Relationship just fell apart and all I want to do is cry and eat like 7 lasagnas
/u/landfill7707
Created: Sun Aug 19 16:59:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98oezt/relationship_just_fell_apart_and_all_i_want_to_do/
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I just really want lasagna and some love because life sucks.
I'm such a dumbass
/u/audreyhepburnwho
Created: Sun Aug 19 16:58:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98oex2/im_such_a_dumbass/
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I hate myself so much right now. Last week i reached a goal and felt fucking amazing. Too amazing in fact. When i feel like i look good, i lose all motivation to restrict.... I allowed myself a binge on Friday night.... But the amount of. Food was so much that there was enough for a Saturday binge as well. I actually told myself i wouldn't throw thr leftovers away because i was gonna train my self control and not binge on those foods but if only i had thrown them away, i would've saved myself thousands of calories..... My plan for this past weekend was to fast and go kill it at the gym. Instead i stayed home the whole weekend stuffing my face eith THOUSANDS of calories...... I fucking despise myself. I was doing so well for so long not bingeing and then.... The most annoying thing is i ran to the grocery store 15 minutes before closing. If only i had stayed home for a bit longer i wouldn't have had the option. What a dumbass. It's gonna tske me a whole week to repair the damage...... I feel like a whale....
[Goal] Size 4.
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Sun Aug 19 16:49:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ockz/size_4/
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For a few years I've been solidly a size 8-10/medium. Now I knew my clothes were loose and not fitting so well the last few weeks. Today in Goodwill I saw the most beautiful wool skirt but looked at the tag and was like ugggg size 4 there is no way. But because I'm a glutton for punishment I decided to try and a put it on my fat body anyway. And it fit???? I'm literally shook. I don't think since I was like 11 years old I've ever worn less then a 6????? It was just a weird day.
Just weighed myself for the first time in years
/u/sun_divine [5'3" | CW 105 | GW 90 | TM]
Created: Sun Aug 19 16:43:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ob20/just_weighed_myself_for_the_first_time_in_years/
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105... last time I measured I think I was closer to 120 - 130. Really hope the scale wasn't broken or something. Or if it was, that it's showing higher than actual numbers.
Super glad though!
Hailey Baldwin has the nicest legs ever oml
/u/gardenofeve666
Created: Sun Aug 19 16:34:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98o8kh/hailey_baldwin_has_the_nicest_legs_ever_oml/
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https://i.redd.it/dg716vy7n4h11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Haha i want to die...
/u/swankarma [5'5 | CW: 126 | 20.9 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 16:22:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98o5gz/haha_i_want_to_die/
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Recently, my boyfriend broke up with me, and only minutes later, a mutual friend of ours sends me a picture if him and a girl who was stick thin, (gotta love EDās for making that the first thing i notice) so i didnāt get it at first and just ignored it, thinking it was the friend joking around.
The next day, another mutual friend who is closer to me tells me that this was his new girlfriend. He literally got a new girlfriend within minutes, which obviously means that they were doing something behind my back when we were still dating, so this just fucked me up mentally, and my ED isnāt shutting the fuck up about how he chose her over me because sheās so skinny etc.
Honestly though, this isnāt all bad because at least this made me lose my appetite and made restricting easier, so it was kind of a win i guess?
[Rant/Rave] 2 week bender
/u/happy_but_unhappy [5'9 |CW 118.8 | 17.5 | GW 110]
Created: Sun Aug 19 16:22:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98o5gh/2_week_bender/
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Hi there... so basically I've been eating whatever the hell I've liked for two weeks straight, having binge after binge and not even having a rough idea how many calories I've consumed each day. As a result I haven't weighed myself in two weeks either and the thought of doing so is honestly the source of multiple panic attacks. I don't know what to do I'm so worried and stressed and can't stop binging. :(
going to a "pasta night" and avoiding pasta
/u/clare988
Created: Sun Aug 19 15:59:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98nzbm/going_to_a_pasta_night_and_avoiding_pasta/
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tfw I ask to hang out with my friends to distract me from hunger and they say yeah sure we're having a 'pasta night' come on over.
OK cool guys sounds great but have u ever considered Spiralized Vegetables and Sriracha night?? Diet Coke and Sugar Free Gum night??
no?
K fine guess I'm staying home or pulling the "already eaten" card like every other time im offered food by my annoying lovely generous dickhead kindly best friends. cos it definitely doesn't seem odd to eat before going to a night dedicated to eating (delicious and home made may I add) pasta
thx for listening to my pasta ramblings x
DRILLS ARE GOING INTO MY FREAKING FACEHOLE
/u/LeOssa
Created: Sun Aug 19 15:47:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98nw0p/drills_are_going_into_my_freaking_facehole/
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Hookay. I just had to get that out.
I am a grade A masochist. I've been apart of the BDSM scene for over a decade, I've had horrific things done to me that would make the milquetoast cry, I have given birth to three children (one ten pounder) with no medication, I come from a family of dentists and I am losing my ever loving shit about getting my wisdom teeth removed because mouth pain turns me into a whiny little bitch.
I don't do mouth pain. At all. Its my weakness. I know I basically walk around with a constant ache in my mouth due to 13+ years of bulimic behaviour that I just dont feel anymore but THIS.. this is surgery.. IN. MY. MOUTH.
THEYRE DOING SURGERY IN MY MOUTH. Ahhhhhhh!
Okay, now that that's over. My shopping list includes glucerna/Atkins shakes,black market pain pills and an abundance of anxiety. Wonderful.
[Discussion] Some of our members are encouraging eating disorders in other subs
/u/WaitingForHealing [5'5.5" | 271 | 218 | 115 | 24F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 15:46:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98nw07/some_of_our_members_are_encouraging_eating/
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I know Iām not the only one who notices this stuff.
There are people coming from here and brigading in the weight loss subs.
I have a strong inkling itās the people who constantly cross post and flip their shit over how disordered they think the weight loss subs are.
That is NOT an excuse to go brigade and encourage disordered eating in other people.
Your behavior is toxic.
Itās wrong.
Itās been going on for months.
Some of you guys think itās ok to post your 1100 calorie food day in r/1200isplenty or tell people they need to not have a boyfriend and instead engage in binge and restricting cycles (paraphrased but you know who you are) in r/1200isjerky where everything is meant to be a joke.
There are a lot of examples. You know who you are.
We commiserate because we all have a common ground. That doesnāt mean you should be going into other subs and encouraging disordered eating in other people. Why would you want to be the reason that someone gets an eating disorder? Or struggles even more with food than they did before they decided to lose weight?
I call people out every time a post goes up accusing someone in a weight loss sub of having an eating disorder. I wonāt be doing that anymore because I wonāt be a part of this community anymore. I know not all of (or even the majority) of people here are the problem. This place was kind of a safe space where people could vent and get a little support through their troubles. You donāt encourage people to get worse, teach them how to get an ED, and you donāt try to force people to get better because itās a safe space. A few of those rules arenāt being honored...
Maybe this post will spark a discussion. I really hope it does. The premise is if you donāt care about hurting yourself you should at least not want to hurt other people.
[Discussion] Which clothes can I use to make myself feel skinny/weightless?
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Sun Aug 19 15:31:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98nrpf/which_clothes_can_i_use_to_make_myself_feel/
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Both restrictive and loose clothes suggestions would be fine. I am a bit overweight so I'm not 100% comfortable wearing some things in public, but I'll wear these all at home.
The ones that I've found to work are tank tops (with thick straps and not spaghetti straps), thin leggings, baggy sweaters, no accessories. I want to begin wearing spanx. Hbu?
[Discussion] How do you low restricters do this?
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Sun Aug 19 15:29:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98nrc0/how_do_you_low_restricters_do_this/
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I really don't mean this condescendingly, I'm normally a mid to high restricter and hardly go under 600. Today I'm ending today on 320 calories because I can't stomach more and I have no energy, I just feel sick and dizzy... And I still have to look after a puppy today
[Discussion] Update: one week results soup diet
/u/dreamedotcom
Created: Sun Aug 19 15:21:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98np2b/update_one_week_results_soup_diet/
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Hi everyone. Iām one week into my soup/liquids diet (under 500 cals per day).
So far I have lost 3.3 kg. Now a lot of that would have been water weight. I have 5 more days to go till Iām on holiday. Will post again at the end of 5 days.
If u want to follow my progress on peach, dreamerdotcom
[Discussion] Common body checks?
/u/CharlieJScarper [5'0.5" | BMI 17.5 | CW 91.7 lbs | FTM]
Created: Sun Aug 19 15:18:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98nobh/common_body_checks/
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I was wondering how/if you do body checks and how common they are? I've heard of taking photos, feeling bones and looking in mirrors but are there any less obvious ones?
[Discussion] How do you make and break the stereotypes around EDs?
/u/CharlieJScarper [5'0.5" | BMI 17.5 | CW 91.7 lbs | FTM]
Created: Sun Aug 19 15:05:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98nks3/how_do_you_make_and_break_the_stereotypes_around/
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What about you is different to the stereotypical person with an eating disorder? Are there any tropes that you fit right into?
I can eat fast food just fine as long as it fits into my calorie limit. I'm also constantly feeling my rib/hip/wrist/collar bones and staring at myself in any reflective surfaces.
Don't you hate it when...
/u/randomjee
Created: Sun Aug 19 14:45:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98nfag/dont_you_hate_it_when/
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You B & P and then eat more and you're like WTF why did I even P if I'm just gonna fill my stomach up more? Why can't I stop putting things in my mouth? I NEED TO HANDLE MY BOREDOM BETTER
Not going to Urgent Care because I don't want to get weighed
/u/dorisholliday
Created: Sun Aug 19 14:43:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98neki/not_going_to_urgent_care_because_i_dont_want_to/
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I was working out last night (kickboxing) with no shoes on and I kicked my coffee table so hard, I'm positive I have a broken toe. It's swollen and so painful I can't walk on it at all. My friend is going to the pharmacy to pick up crutches for me. I feel like *maybe* I should go to Urgent Care because of how incredibly painful it is, but I'm horrified at the thought of being weighed. I also feel INCREDIBLY stupid.
BUT, there's really nothing that a doctor can do for a broken toe, right? I mean, the bone is jutting out of my skin or anything. It's just really swollen and painful. I've been keeping ice on it.
I'm so pissed and can't believe this is happening to me. I fractured the ankle on my other leg at the beginning of the summer and couldn't walk/exercise for weeks. And now this. FML. Who knew a broken toe could be so painful/incapacitating!?
āEat :) eat :) ..... eat :)ā
/u/leeeee_reeeee
Created: Sun Aug 19 14:41:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ne9d/eat_eat_eat/
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For whatever fucking reason, my grandma (whom I love dearly) will see me with a plate of something, and just repeat these words while watching me eat.
I am making a vow right here and now: to never eat around others. I notice how many people glance or stare.
Eating at restaurants is such a waste anyway. A waste of money, time, calories.
Dates? Take me hiking, shopping, sight-seeing, rock-climbing, maybe a concert, comedy show, art gallery, painting, etc. These can all cost less than how much a typical dinner date does anyway. Maybe coffee, so I can drink a black coffee, and donāt be nosy about my choices āy no sugary cal filled drink?!? are u on diet? :)))ā. We can go grocery shopping to get food to cook at your place if youāre so hungry, dude! Aw whatās that? Youāre a fucking loser with no place? Or maybe your secret wife or gf would be there so youāre lying? Oooh :) ok. Actually a good way to weed out a lot of cheaters lol
Oh, friends of mine, you wanna go grab some brunch??? Totes! Like, letās be fucking boring basic bitches and waste money and calories on some bullshit even though itās SO obvious weāre both on a diet?? haha bestieees <33
I'm going on a hunger strike...
/u/willbetiny
Created: Sun Aug 19 13:57:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98n26j/im_going_on_a_hunger_strike/
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...to protest my fatness.
I'm not disordered, I'm politically active!!
[Other] Is there an ED (not recovering) discord? Would anyone want one?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Sun Aug 19 13:57:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98n25v/is_there_an_ed_not_recovering_discord_would/
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what are you listening to lately?
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 107|16.7|UGW: 103|F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 13:53:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98n13d/what_are_you_listening_to_lately/
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i know this isn't really ED related specifically but back in my MPA days i noticed that a lot of what was on users playlists reflected their mental state so i'm just curious to see what's happening over here on reddit. fun tip- [this website (with an admittedly sketchy url)](http://107.170.81.187:8080/public/top) will show you a ranked list of your top songs on spotify if you use that. currently, i'm listening to-
>out of the blue - oso oso
>bed fest - slaughter beach, dog
>sore thumb - the format
>falling in love again - joyce manor
>nobody really cares if you don't go to the party - courtney barnett
considering how i've been lately it's no surprise to me that all the songs are kinda sad :')
[Discussion] Skin/hair care
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7.5" | 110.4 | 16.91 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Sun Aug 19 13:31:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98mv3r/skinhair_care/
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(On mobile, sorry for any issues that may come up)
I know I've seen threads about self care on here before, and I'm familiar with subs like r/skincareaddiction, but they are a little intimidating to me.
I'm just curious to know if anyone else experiences weird skin and hair problems during restriction or binge phases. Lately, a new medication has destroyed my ability to eat so I'm getting anywhere from 0 to 400 cals a day and my face and hair is so greasy? DAE notice a correlation between their intake and hair/skin health?
(Also, I'm asking here because thanks to this sub I've started taking biotin, a multivitamin, and have been monitoring electrolytes.)
I made a new Instagram account where I'll post comics about my ED and recovery. I thought I'd share here too.
/u/tinyr3x
Created: Sun Aug 19 13:14:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98mqb9/i_made_a_new_instagram_account_where_ill_post/
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https://imgur.com/sluuYc1
[Other] Peach (app) usernames- if anyone still uses it?
/u/AmmoniaBologna
Created: Sun Aug 19 13:09:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98moyx/peach_app_usernames_if_anyone_still_uses_it/
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If not what platform are you all using? Maybe a discord?
[Discussion] Do you ever feel happy when you get the stomach bug or motion sickness and your body just throws up on it's own?
/u/blondietrina7
Created: Sun Aug 19 13:06:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98mnxy/do_you_ever_feel_happy_when_you_get_the_stomach/
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I have anorexia. It started out with bulimia, and then I started exercising everyday and night to lose the weight that I carried with me. I would purge anything that I age and it got so bad I would purge after brushing my teeth because I was afraid of the extra calories that I might ha e swallowed from the toothpaste. I admitted to being bulimic to my boyfriend at the time, and he made me feel really bad because he said it was wasted money that I was throwing up and that I was being selfish. So then I started restricting and I didn't Purge anymore. I just ate way less and kept working out. Now I've been dealing with this for almost 3 years where people know that I have an eating disorder, but I've probably had this problem for around 10 years. Every time that I get the stomach bug or have motion sickness now and I throw up without having to make myself, I almost feel a sense of relief. Is that just me or has anybody else gone through this?
[Thinspo] Thought separating this community from my main would be a good idea. Have some thinspo inspired doodles!
/u/scaledrops
Created: Sun Aug 19 13:01:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98mmiw/thought_separating_this_community_from_my_main/
---
https://i.redd.it/7vb5ern6l3h11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Why canāt I have self control
/u/shonamairead [5'6 | CW - 145lbs | GW - 120| -16lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 12:52:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98mk4t/why_cant_i_have_self_control/
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I just ate 6 Jaffa cakes a huge bag of skips and a chocolate bar and now I want to actually die
Cravings
/u/cherryxnut
Created: Sun Aug 19 12:49:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98mj9u/cravings/
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**sorry Iām posting a lot, when I first suffered with an ED, forums werenāt really a thing!**
I allowed myself 900 cal yesterday to refeed and had some Korean noodles. Today I have managed to restrict but holy cow I am struggling with cravings. Iām committed to a no binge/purge August. Iāve got my black coffee, how else do you guys curb your cravings???
[Discussion] Would you ratherā¦
/u/Sergosass
Created: Sun Aug 19 12:06:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98m775/would_you_rather/
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ā¦spend time with someone, who eats less than you and triggers you into hating yourself even more for eating
or
Spend time with someone, who eat more than you and strongly encourages to eat with them?
[Other] Question on Common terms
/u/Scarab-Beetle
Created: Sun Aug 19 11:52:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98m2yr/question_on_common_terms/
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Despite the fact Iāve been a part of the ED community, there are some terms I donāt know, Iāve been a lurker really and never went out of my way to find out some of the lingo.
What is UGW, is it unusual goal weight? And there are a good amount of others. Can you guys just give me a run down of the usual lingo? I only know GW, LW, CW.
[Other] Made Some ED Inspired Art. I'm really scared, you guys.
/u/MrsBluebeard [5'4" | 96 lbs. | 16.8 | UGW- 90 lbs. | Bee]
Created: Sun Aug 19 11:33:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98lxxz/made_some_ed_inspired_art_im_really_scared_you/
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https://i.redd.it/o7al8cml53h11.jpg
[Help] i know thereās tons of posts about the whoosh but i need some help w it
/u/fweakybby [5ā5ā | 132| 22.0 | 68lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 11:08:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98lr11/i_know_theres_tons_of_posts_about_the_whoosh_but/
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so iāve been restricting effectively. working out daily. the past few days iāve been steady dropping or only gaining like 0.2lbs.
last night over the course of probably 6 hours i ate 650 calories which is more than i usually eat at night.
i woke up, weighed myself, & iām fucking 130.
what the fuck.
i was 128.4 yesterday.
is this the storm before the calm?
i guess iām hoping this is something to do with a whoosh bc i donāt entirely understand that concept.
so did i just fuck up and iām fucked or am i going to drop this shit?
[Rant/Rave] Annoying genetics
/u/psychedelicpeach [5'5.5'' | 23.5 | CW:144 | GW:125]
Created: Sun Aug 19 11:04:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98lpz3/annoying_genetics/
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Ughhh Iām just so annoyed how when I lose weight, I seem to lose it from my boobs and nothing else. My stomach area is *smaller* than before, but it seems like all the weight I lost was from my chest! Itās frustrating because I always have FAT legs and thighs while the top half of my body gets smaller.
Diet books?!
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 96.8 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 70 š smallest_madeline]
Created: Sun Aug 19 10:50:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98llx3/diet_books/
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Do any of you read diet books or go to food addiction or overeaters anonymous while not having visible weight to lose? Did you find any helpful to fuel your ED and did you feel guilty or weird about it?
Wanting to lose weight seems weird to people because Iām visibly thin but I am currently reading āThe Beck Diet Solutionā, āThe Obesity Codeā, āBright Line Eatingā and I can relate so hardcore.
I donāt really know what ED I āhaveā because I fast and restrict to lose weight but also binge (real binges like 3,000+ calories) and vomit to lose as well.
Iām thinking if I do their philosophies it can help me get to my goal weight (obviously not eating as much as they suggest) but I also feel like Iām so messed up in wanting to do that since obviously thatās not what itās meant for.
Can anyone else relate? Have you found these resources helpful in fueling (lol) the ed more?
How do people become content with being fat?
/u/FedoraTipper15
Created: Sun Aug 19 10:49:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98llq5/how_do_people_become_content_with_being_fat/
---
This just boggles my mind, I was overweight for 6 months until I stepped on the scale and realized it (only by 5 pounds, but still). So I change my eating habits, eat better and put down the fork. But I see people when they get older just stop giving a fuck...how? How are you not disgusted with yourself, being in the form of a lumpy potato?
[Discussion] This makes me really sad for those childrenās future man
/u/Exoarmyl [5'4 | CW: FAT | GW: 140lbs | WL: ? | 17F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 10:40:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98lj7a/this_makes_me_really_sad_for_those_childrens/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/98id03/stop_teaching_your_kids_that_food_is_the_enemy/
[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate going out to restaurants
/u/runner_618 [5'5 | CW 117.8 lbs | HW 126.6 lbs | LW 101 lbs | GW 105 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 10:35:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98li1m/i_fucking_hate_going_out_to_restaurants/
---
So I just got back from brunch and I just canāt stop thinking about food. I got a salad with grilled chicken of course, and 2 glasses of prosecco, and I just kept seeing the waitresses walk by with giant plates of French toast sticks and huge pancakes and giant double cheeseburgers and I wanted it all and I hate even seeing the delicious food that everyone else but me gets to enjoy.
[Rant/Rave] just saw a picture of my back for the first time ever (rant never ever rave)
/u/a1sha
Created: Sun Aug 19 10:14:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98lc9h/just_saw_a_picture_of_my_back_for_the_first_time/
---
iāve never been more repulsed by a body part ever until today. feels like the closer i try get to ābody positivityā i discover another disgusting feature about myself. AARRGRRGDGGEHEGR
My buildingās exercise use room isnāt working and I donāt know what to do
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Sun Aug 19 09:37:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98l2md/my_buildings_exercise_use_room_isnt_working_and_i/
---
I was looking forward to finally be able to exercise. I guess Iāll just keep taking hour long walks and walking the hills. But still it was frustrating not being able to exercise. I donāt wanna be cooped in my dorm all day. I wanna move.
[Rant/Rave] How the hell?
/u/EDthrowaway8888 [5'6 | CW 145.2 | BMI 23.3 | Weight Lost 20.6 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 09:36:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98l2cs/how_the_hell/
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How do you fast 24 hours and wake up the same weight you were yesterday? What the actual fuck, body?
I weighed myself in the carpet
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 119 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Sun Aug 19 09:32:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98l1d9/i_weighed_myself_in_the_carpet/
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And I saw numbers Iāve always wanted to see 108, 109, 112, and then I realized it might be inaccurate so I weighed at the tile and was back at 118. So disappointing.
[Other] My cat died yesterday.
/u/maybeshesmelting
Created: Sun Aug 19 09:23:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98kz6z/my_cat_died_yesterday/
---
(This is all over the place because I canāt keep a thought in my head, sorry.)
He was only two years old. Heās been with me for 15 months and now heās gone. No one can tell me why. He got a little sick last weekend and I took him to the vetā his tests didnāt show anything too concerning and they sent us home with meds and a good prognosis.
Friday I took him back because while his original symptoms were improving, he wasnāt eating and was completely out of it. They sent us to the hospital. When the vet came to talk to me, he was concerned but cautiously optimistic until he was called back urgently to check him again. Then the conversation shifted to āwhat do you want us to do if he goes into cardiac arrestā and āif he deteriorates beyond a certain point overnight and we canāt reach you, do you authorise us to put him to sleep without you hereā.
Yesterday they basically said theyāve never seen anything like it before but he was just getting worse. They could have done further tests which he likely would not have survived in his condition. Even if he pulled through they said he would likely remain chronically ill and in pain. So I rushed over and let him die in my arms.
He was my entire world. I lost my last fur baby two years ago and it nearly killed me, but he was old so at least I was somewhat prepared. I was not at all prepared to lose my happy, healthy two year old. He was the only true love I have in my life. He was my only purpose. He was my everything and now I am lost and alone and donāt know what to do. All I know is I failed him.
After it was over I came home and had some vodka, a snack sized bag of Worcester crisps, and a Cadbury w/nuts (that was breakfast, lunch, and dinner because fuck it) then decided to do a grocery run because I donāt particularly want to leave my house or see anyone ever again moving forward. I stumbled through the aisles (I may or may not have been keeping track of my benzo intake; no I did not drive) and managed to come home with the following:
-2x 1.75 L bottles of vodka
-quorn turkey slices
-quorn chicken pieces
-stir fry veg
-grape tomatoes
-bananas
-laughing cow
-ālow calā (thinly sliced) bread
-light string cheese
-lean cuisine macaroni
-a spinach feta pocket I think? Idek
Came home, ripped my entire (and until last night immaculately organised) room apart looking for the cigarettes Iād hidden, smoked said cigarettes, had some vodka I didnāt bother to keep track of, ate the lean cuisine (which was really fucking good, although I was really fucking drunk so then again it may have actually been shit), then passed out for the night.
Now I donāt know what to do with myself at all. I donāt have a job right nowā I am supposedly ājob huntingā at the moment but between my cat and the fact that my house is falling apart and Iām still waiting on someone to fucking fix it, thatās just not happening.
I just donāt know what to do with myself. Normally when things go bad I just fuck off to London for a while, but my family there has a cat that looks like mine so nope. My mother suggested I go stay with her and my dad for a while, which I probably will do and then end up severely regretting.
In the meantime...what do I do?
I have a puzzle I could work on and some colouring books, but not sure what else there is. I need to clean everything I fucked up yesterday but donāt have the energy. Donāt want to go anywhere because I donāt want to deal with people. I would read one of the 100 books I have piled up but canāt focus long enough for that.
Trying to come up with shows to watch that wonāt make me sad or make me want to break things. Nothing too happy, nothing animal heavy. Dark comedies or dramas with some humour mixed in (bojack, dexter, htgawm), documentaries or reality shows (ss vs ss is an obvious one, cdwm, dinner date, the met:policing London, ambulance), game shows (watching jeopardy currently).
Any suggestions for things for me to watch that are available on Netflix, Hulu, prime, or YouTube? Nothing really interests me at the moment, not even the shows Iāve listed, but I need something on because I canāt deal with the silence.
I guess the āsilver liningā of my poor sweet boy dying is that I really have no reason to keep myself alive at this point. Iāve been toeing the line of relapsing for a few months now but every time I looked at him I realised I couldnāt leave him. I guess thatās not an issue anymore.
[Tip] Things to say and not to say with people suffering from ED
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Sun Aug 19 09:21:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98kyqd/things_to_say_and_not_to_say_with_people/
---
https://i.redd.it/4429r870i2h11.jpg
[Other] This is how I wish non Ed people who approaches me say..
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Sun Aug 19 09:19:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ky9j/this_is_how_i_wish_non_ed_people_who_approaches/
---
https://i.redd.it/up4vh0ynh2h11.jpg
Mixed feelings after a party - got compliments, binged, now look pregnant, why am I the way that I am
/u/boxxfive [5'4" | CW: 116 | GW: 100 | -22]
Created: Sun Aug 19 09:19:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ky5e/mixed_feelings_after_a_party_got_compliments/
---
Title says it all, I guess! We hosted a little gathering last night and I promised myself I would eat one vegan cheese pull-apart and the fruit salad I made. But when the pizza came I did not hesitate, I dived right in and finished off almost the whole box. Then I ate my kids' leftovers like a feral subway rat after everyone was gone. I'm mad at myself for setting myself back so far (nutrition info isn't available for this pizza place but I know it's pushing 2000 cals.) The past week I've done pretty mediocre, so I'm terrified to know how much I've gained since I last weighed myself. I have a couple events coming up and I'm just wasting the time I could be losing a last few pounds.
However, I was the slimmest woman there by far, and it felt good. I felt bad for thinking it, because everyone was super nice. At the end of the night I was chatting with someone about clothes and she said she loved my style, and I thanked her and said I always feel like I have no style, and she said I have "the cutest figure" and she wished she could just wear t-shirts and jeans like me and look good. I've always thought that about ultra-skinny girls, so to have someone else say that to me was a pleasant surprise!
But yeah. Still have to get rid of these pizza calories before my brother's wedding on Saturday. I am not going to look bloated and doughy in those professional pictures. And I want - need - to get off as much more weight as I can before comic con (and a revealing cosplay) on Sept 8. Thinking of a three day water fast though I doubt my willpower is that good.
[Rant/Rave] Why do I love to lurk and hurt my own feelings šš
/u/emwill__
Created: Sun Aug 19 09:06:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98kuuo/why_do_i_love_to_lurk_and_hurt_my_own_feelings/
---
My bf and I took a pic together last night and I was looking at who liked it, one person was this gorgeous girl who has abs and weighs like 4 lbs and he liked her pic of her with a crop top and low cut shorts looking AMAZING
1) why do I lurk and hurt my own feelings
2) why am I such a giant nut job
Anyone doing keto right now?
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Sun Aug 19 08:49:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98kqn6/anyone_doing_keto_right_now/
---
I havenāt eaten yet today which means I am faced with the super fun decision of how the fuck to eat. I def want to meet my calorie goal obviously but Iām really tempted to do keto. I used to do ālazy ketoā and it worked really well and cleared up my skin but I also feel like I will miss my staple restriction foods (RIP skinny vanilla lattes)
Is anyone doing keto here? What do you eat and what are your low cal keto friendly go toās? Is it worth it???
[Help] currently fasting, anyone want in?
/u/annoyingdoggy [154cm | 48kg | F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 08:37:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98knor/currently_fasting_anyone_want_in/
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o iām practically always in restriction or binge mode and now iāve gone overboard on binging. Decided to spontaneously fast for as long as iāll last (never done it before) with a minimum of 24hrs. i feel like i need a fasting buddy because i need someone to hold me liable and responsible so i donāt just break it after a few hours. currently going on 17 hrs :)
How do you reset after a binge?
/u/MissMichuMoo [1.68m | 54.5kg | 19.3 | GW: 53kg | F26:cat_blep:]
Created: Sun Aug 19 08:31:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98km3u/how_do_you_reset_after_a_binge/
---
What are the things that you do to reset after a binge?
What 'habits' do you follow to assist in restricting?
Interesting Study Shows Anti-Fat Bias of Doctors
/u/Kafkaesquefranzkafka
Created: Sun Aug 19 08:22:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98kk2d/interesting_study_shows_antifat_bias_of_doctors/
---
https://issueafterissue.wordpress.com/2018/08/03/the-science-behind-anti-fat-bias-issue-after-issue-the-keith-network/
[Rant/Rave] Traveling sucks.
/u/notadolphin1823
Created: Sun Aug 19 07:43:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98kbq4/traveling_sucks/
---
Iām finally home from a trip to St. Louis. I had fun, but I am so incredibly anxious now because I ate normally for four days. I also got triggered because a family member of mine is SO tiny without trying. I am a fat cow even though I try not to be. Iām just having a hard time. I love traveling, but it causes me so much anxiety that I donāt even know if itās worth it anymore. I hate this disease.
I am too exhausted so I ordered 900~ calories of food
/u/Freaks-Cacao [5'9" /176cm| 157lbs/71kg | 22.9 | - 11 lbs/-5kg | Gender]
Created: Sun Aug 19 07:31:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98k8zi/i_am_too_exhausted_so_i_ordered_900_calories_of/
---
This week I restricted heavily. Never ate more than 500 calories. Nothing more than tomatoes and cherry potatoes. Then I fasted 50 hours. Before that I was also restricting a lot this month...Today, I felt like I was going to faint in my shower. My muscles are so sore and weak. I am so dizzy. I have to admit that I need actual proteins.
Since I have nothing more than tomatoes at home, I ordered a sub30 through Uber Eat. I calculated that it was around 900 calories. I feel sad that I am going to halt my progress (I know I won't gain but still...). But I really can't be that weak, I work during the week.
I don't think I have an ED because I can rationalise well and I am not distressed when I fail. I am just vaguely sad and angry. But right now, my feelings are contradicting each others. Right now I feel like a lame wannabe proana girl who just can't handle it. I feel ridiculous, I feel like me restricting so hard is almost offensive for actual girls with ED, I am sorry and I am disapointed at me. I feel lost. I do hide my restriction, I do hate my body, I do like the control that I have when I fast. But I don't feel like I have an ED and it makes me feel so much more alone, especially when I fail and I feel like I can't share it with anyone. That's why I still wanted to post here. Because I have nowhere else to share my issues. I hope I am not being offensive or rude.
Thank you if you read this.
Now I am going to angrily eat my fat loser-tasting proteins.
how to avoid eating at a restaurant without it being suspicious?
/u/kskobg
Created: Sun Aug 19 07:31:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98k8z0/how_to_avoid_eating_at_a_restaurant_without_it/
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my mom has been wanting me to go out with her and our family friend since i turned 21. she invited me to go get mimosas and "breakfast pizza" at some restaurant. i know all of that will be like a billion calories. how do i avoid eating without it seeming weird? she'll know if i ate at home cuz i live with her, so i can't use that excuse
[Goal] 99.9
/u/qu1et1
Created: Sun Aug 19 07:03:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98k32q/999/
---
That is all. XD XD XD
[Help] Body 'holds' more cals after fast?
/u/askthedustinstead
Created: Sun Aug 19 07:00:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98k2ha/body_holds_more_cals_after_fast/
---
Okay, probably stupid question but I have rhe feeling I can't think straight anymore about this 'cause od an irrational fear.
But will you body hold on more to the cals after a fast? Like, "you are starving me, I should hang on to everything you are feeding me right now in case you gonna starve me agian?"
[Discussion] went out to eat with friends, here's a little tip + how i survived:
/u/parislucy
Created: Sun Aug 19 06:37:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98jy8e/went_out_to_eat_with_friends_heres_a_little_tip/
---
yesterday i went out to have dinner with my friends. an ED-sufferer's worst nightmare. luckily, my friends are into Japanese food so this meant that the menu was likely to be low-calorie.
for the most part, i was wrong. but there was a silver lining!
we ended up making a facebook messenger poll with some restaurant options, and Wagamama won. (here's their website: [https://www.wagamama.com/](https://www.wagamama.com/))
i ended up getting the miso soup and Japanese-style pickles from the vegan/vegetarian sides section. it was super filling and only 61 calories. you have to do some searching on the website to find this info out but it shouldn't take too long. i ended up getting some edamame beans as well, i don't know how many calories are in one pod but i ended up eating 12 pods and letting my friends share the rest. the bowl of edamame you get given is HUGE so i was able to divert the attention from the small-ish portion of soup (in comparison to the bigger meals my friends had).
i was faced with questions like 'what are you having?', 'is that it?' and all the rest of it, but if you just tell the usual white lies or make a joke out of it then you won't raise suspicion. one of my friends, we'll call her 'K', saw another of my friends, 'O', eating the majority of my edamame and asked if i was cool with that. 'as long as she's paying then i'm fine!' was what i ended up going with. it was sweet of K to intervene but O was actually doing me a huge favour.
so, if you're faced with the daunting task of going out to eat and are based in the UK, that's my recommendation!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 19, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 19 06:11:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98jtfz/daily_food_diary_august_19_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 19, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 19 06:11:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98jte6/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
---
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
Crushed, defeated, hopeless
/u/andromedagalaxxy [5'6.5 | 126 | 20 | -21 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 05:12:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98jjp6/crushed_defeated_hopeless/
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Just weighed myself for the first time in a while. 134. At the beginning of the summer I was 126. I've been cutting calories and exercising 2 hours a day sometimes up to 7 days a week. Drinking a ton of water. Never overeating. And how am I repaid? 8 lbs, an inch added to my hips, and half an inch to my thighs.
I'm doing everything right. And no I'm not about to start my period. I'm not dehydrated. I'm not eating too much salt. I'm weighing myself in the morning. I literally gained fat without having a calorie surplus. What the fucking fuck? I can't find a single god damned explanation anywhere for this bullshit and I'm about to start full blown starving myself if this shit continues. It's early as fuck right now and I'm so exhausted but I can't go back to sleep and the anxiety of this disgusting and inexplicable and incurable weight gain is driving me insane...
[Help] It was my birthday today
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 61.5kg (135lbs) | BMI: 20.6 | -12.5kg | F | 23yo]
Created: Sun Aug 19 05:08:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98jj3d/it_was_my_birthday_today/
---
I was alone with my parents all day. My mum made me a cake. I refused to eat it. She doesn't know how to help, I can see the pain in her eyes. How many of my birthdays will be like this? Why do I endure?
[Rant/Rave] Girlfriends away till Wednesday = restriction
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5 ft 4|118lb|GW: 110|20.20|Not Enough|Nonbinary]
Created: Sun Aug 19 04:16:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98jb5x/girlfriends_away_till_wednesday_restriction/
---
As the title says my girlfriend's on holiday and comes back sometime Wednesday so I'm free to restrict till then cause the only time I really need to eat is when I take my meds in the morning. I'm gonna drink lots of herbal tea to keep myself full and tell my other two housemates (one of whom is moving in today and might be staying) I had a big breakfast/I've drank too much tea/ I've not got an appetite must be getting ill. I need to lose this weight, I'm too scared to wear pretty dresses and I feel like maybe my girlfriend will find me more attractive if I was at a lower weight even though when we met I was 134lb (my highest weight what the fuck, how'd I even end up with her???). Logically I know she'll find me attractive at any weight but my brain is screaming just a few more pounds, you'll be super pretty/handsome then.
I don't want to tell her I'm relapsing cause it'll ruin her holiday but it feels nice to be hungry again, to be able to pour that 30g of dry cereal back into the box and say to myself 'have a cup of tea, tea solves everything'.
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself
/u/MolarPet27
Created: Sun Aug 19 03:17:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98j2gj/i_hate_myself/
---
At my lowest, I was 103 (Iām 5ā3 btw), I havenāt stepped on a scale in a while but last I checked I was 124 and Iāve definitely gained a couple pounds. I think if I check now and see 130 or above Iād just fucking end it. I look and feel disgusting. I look pregnant. I was craving spaghetti so bad I ate almost an entire bag raw, what the fuck is wrong with me. I used to be able to go days without eating and now all I think about is food. All I want to do is eat. I just keep getting fatter and I canāt stop. I honestly want to die Iām so disgusting. Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] iām drunk so forgive the rambling but
/u/ccyybb
Created: Sun Aug 19 03:16:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98j2dx/im_drunk_so_forgive_the_rambling_but/
---
does anyone wish they had a friend who you could vent to who didnāt get all concerned? i have a friend who knows abt my ed habits and iāll tell her stuff from time to time but i can feel that sheās never real with me and always just wanted to make sure iām fine, idk. i just wish i had a friend i could say āhey i threw up like four slices of toast just now lolā too and they would say lol back
[Help] After a week of no b/p, I am ruining that success by ordering binge food.
/u/edthrowawayy123
Created: Sun Aug 19 03:05:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98j0uf/after_a_week_of_no_bp_i_am_ruining_that_success/
---
Iām finally starting to see my jaw line again and Iām ruining that tonight thanks to stress from school.
NB: Help flair should be support flair but there isnāt one :/
[Help] Weight training
/u/fluffer_
Created: Sun Aug 19 03:02:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98j0b1/weight_training/
---
I have a weight training course I have to take for college, starting Monday, 2x a week, and was wondering if building muscle will speed up my metabolism and me help lose weight faster? Someone please educate me. :^
Gaining abroad
/u/theliberalpedestrian
Created: Sun Aug 19 03:02:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98j0ak/gaining_abroad/
---
After 1.5 months in Italy I have gained about 10lbs. Now I am in Germany and I am committed to lose it by any means necessary. When I go back home in a few months I will be the same weight I was when I left or lighter. I feel so disgusting. I donāt even want anyone to see me. Hiding in my hotel room my first day in this country. About to go out and walk around but Iāll probably get so self conscious after like 20 minutes Iāll come back. I hate that this shit is fucking up my europe experience. Back to work tomorrow, need to develop a solid routine.
Actually like how I look after losing weight?
/u/Jksaldf
Created: Sun Aug 19 00:38:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ie8o/actually_like_how_i_look_after_losing_weight/
---
I see a lot of people on here who hate how they look no matter how much they lose but I feel the opposite and love how I look when Iām skinny. I feel so much sexier when Iām under BMI 20 and love to be in photos and have so much more confidence. Anyone else like this, I feel like Iām in the minority?
These any good? Zero calories..
/u/catsalways
Created: Sun Aug 19 00:37:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ie7n/these_any_good_zero_calories/
---
https://i.imgur.com/gUBGNKt.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Moving into college dorm with no scale
/u/ch3rryk1tt3n [5'0'' | 149 | 29.1 | -16 | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 19 00:36:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ie1o/moving_into_college_dorm_with_no_scale/
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I'm going to be moving into my college dorm next week and living there for almost four months and there will be no scale...I considered asking my mom to get me one but it's not an "essential" and I feel bad making her spend $15-20 extra just because I have this problem when she's already spent SO MUCH on me. It's going to be so stressful not being able to weigh myself in the mornings...I guess I'll have to go off of my physical appearance, but sometimes I can't even see how I really look bc of my body dysmorphia, so I'm not looking forward to that. At least the dining hall has calorie information :/
[Discussion] i sometimes feel like iām pretending to have an ed because iām medically overweight
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5ā8ā| CW: idk on purpose| BMI: obese |20F]
Created: Sun Aug 19 00:35:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98idrw/i_sometimes_feel_like_im_pretending_to_have_an_ed/
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ok, well technically obese, i just really really hate that word to describe me. also: prepare for an incoherent jumble of words ahead
i feel like a fake, like someoneās gonna find me on here and tell me to get off because iām not even skinny, so i obviously donāt have an eating disorder.
i know i do tho, i know as much as i can know without telling a therapist outright that i have a problem. thereās no way i can be forcing myself to eat less than 1000cals a day and force myself to weigh every morning (but only after i pee and i canāt take my pills until i weigh myself bc what if the sip of water and 3 little pills makes me gain 5 lbs on the scale!!?!)
i just feel so fake, i feel like iām not trying hard enough because iām still so fucking fat, and i feel like i wonāt get better until i am thin. and iām hungry all the time, and i know i shouldnāt drink so much diet soda but i donāt wanna eat!!! but i wanna be full!!!! so
[Discussion] DAE place their idols on a pedestal and use that as thinspo?
/u/GemRocking [15F | 5'4" | Goal: 110 lb // 18.9 BMI]
Created: Sat Aug 18 23:57:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98i7mm/dae_place_their_idols_on_a_pedestal_and_use_that/
---
I donāt mean this as in idolizing someone for their appearance and wanting to get a body like one of those K-pop girls or The Rock or something.
I have at least a few artists/thinkers who I maybe idolize, and Iāll do the most ridiculous shit lol like Iām too ashamed to listen to some of my favorite music after I binge, as if theyād be ādisappointed in me.ā When Iām eating, Iām thinking āI wouldnāt want them to know Iām a fat fucking disgusting pig like this...ā
But this seems somewhat separate from my idolās body type. Certain artists, like Bowie, body type kinda ties in (because Bowie was skinny for pretty much his whole life and part of me admired and envies that). But then other of my heroes arenāt thin, but I get the same effect.
I think itās another manifestation of the way I equate my self-worth with my appearance and diet. When I start to idolize people, they might become my inspiration to become a better person, so I feel like an awful failure when I fuck up.
Anyone else?
[Discussion] Ed dreams
/u/Roseemacculate02
Created: Sat Aug 18 23:50:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98i6ko/ed_dreams/
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I had a dream where I had my own fridge and it was pretty much empty except for a few safe foods and man, I can't stop thinking about it. It was so calming! I can't wait to move out so I can buy my own food and keep it minimally stocked and organized. A full fridge makes me have such bad anxiety.
Hopefully it'll soon be a reality in a couple months !
Anyone else have funny dreams like this?
[Discussion] DAE feel like it's EASIER to restrict when other people are around?
/u/laisserai [4'11| cw: š³ | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 23:42:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98i5a3/dae_feel_like_its_easier_to_restrict_when_other/
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I see a lot of posts talking about how easy it is to restrict when you're alone or live by yourself but I feel the complete opposite way.
When I'm around people it's like I'm never hungry. You can put donuts, mac and cheese, ice cream, the yummiest foods possible and if someone else is there I can say no and not eat the food no problem.
The minute I'm alone I have no self control and I'll inhale it all. I love being home alone because I'm an introvert and I love my alone time but I dread it at the same time because I know I'm going to binge. It's like my brain needs to prove to others but when I'm by myself the true me comes out..
I think when I'm with other people I feel like I have to prove myself?? I don't know. I'm not underweight by any means so most people just think I'm being health conscious when I deny food. š¤·
DAE feel like it's easier to restrict and say no to food when other people are around?
[Rant/Rave] u would think starving would save money
/u/fastingfrycook
Created: Sat Aug 18 23:33:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98i3r3/u_would_think_starving_would_save_money/
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I saw a sugar free syrup that was $1 cheaper than the one I normally get but it was 5 calories higher so I guess you pay for quality ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
me aggressively researching the restaurant menue to find the meal with the lowest amount calories
/u/mustbethin
Created: Sat Aug 18 23:27:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98i2hn/me_aggressively_researching_the_restaurant_menue/
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https://i.redd.it/3cm02avwjzg11.gif
me aggressively researching the restaurant menu to find the meal with them lowest amount of calories
/u/mustbethin
Created: Sat Aug 18 23:16:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98i0et/me_aggressively_researching_the_restaurant_menu/
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https://i.redd.it/2to8mkexhzg11.gif
I HATE going in the pool
/u/maerynbird
Created: Sat Aug 18 23:03:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98hxx7/i_hate_going_in_the_pool/
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I love swimming but i hate the pool. I hate the bathing suits, i hate eating before swimming because apparently thatās what the ānormalsā do. I hate stepping into the water after a snack or meal and feeling like a whale. I hate feeling like i look fat underwater because of the refraction of the light making me look bigger. I hate it all and it makes me want to cry. I hate it so much.
[Rant/Rave] new motivaton
/u/mustbethin
Created: Sat Aug 18 22:59:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98hx3f/new_motivaton/
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so there's this guy at work I'm totally crushing on, but also it's a perk that when I'm nervous enough (especially around guys) I absolutely just CANT eat with them around. like 100% impossible to eat with them or around them and the thought of it makes me want to vomit. it was great because it kept me from making food at work (my managers don't care if people eat) and when he left and I still had two hours left, I kept that feeling in my mind. like every time I thought of eating, I just thought to myself, "would I eat if he were here?" and howwww great would it be for him to see me lose weight? and if we ever hung out, it would make sense that I wouldn't want to eat because I would be tiny. i always feel like people judge me for saying I don't want food because I'm fat, so why wouldn't I want to eat? idk it's just a weird thing. but yeah good to have some new motivation for restricting! sorry if this whole post was weird and random as fuck šš
Relapse
/u/Swedishfishslayer
Created: Sat Aug 18 22:37:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98hsw9/relapse/
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Friend took a pic and posted it on his Instagram story and someone messaged him like "DID SHE GET FAT?". Idk in college my mindset was so much better. I've only been home for 2 months and my mindset has deteriorated so much. I hate myself. I hate my body. I don't wanna eat again.
Letting things off of my chest
/u/farfarawayyy3737
Created: Sat Aug 18 22:32:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98hrxh/letting_things_off_of_my_chest/
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Hi all! Long time lurker on my personal account but made a throwaway to post on here. I have been struggling with ED for almost 10 years with so many fluctuations in between. Either I would starve myself or I would binge on anything I could get my hands on. Generally, I've been more or less feeling like I've been in control. No crazy restricting, no binging. But I don't know what the FUCK happened around 3 weeks ago but I literally can't stop eating. I truly cannot control myself and I feel like I am slipping away. I feel like every time I look into a mirror I get fatter and fatter and I am truly terrified. I don't know how to stop and I feel disgusting. UGH sorry for this, I really needed to get this off of my chest.
[Rant/Rave] Iām back in the game my dudes
/u/SaintHopeless
Created: Sat Aug 18 22:08:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98hn0o/im_back_in_the_game_my_dudes/
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So, Iād done well for the past eight years. I had an ED from 15 to 17, I had been doing much better. Until I saw a picture of myself in a bathing suit. At my heaviest I weighed 210, and at my smallest I weighed 120. At the moment I weigh 173. Iām very unhappy with myself.
Iāve fallen back into old habits. It started with restricting, and now Iāve gone three days with nothing but tea, water and celery sticks. I honestly never thought I would do this again.
[Goal] A taste of recovery
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Sat Aug 18 21:58:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98hkpn/a_taste_of_recovery/
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Today I visited my home town, and weirdly I was just okay with eating whatever seemed normal. Didn't binge, didn't restrict. I'm back home at my apartment now and while I'm thinking about it still I think it'll be okay. I don't think this is recovery and I know I'll still be restricting all week but I think this reminded me what life could look like. It reminded me of myself in a different and place where I wasn't so sick or so fearful. Idk I'm conflicted but it seems like hope.
[Tip] Workouts
/u/WalkingMed
Created: Sat Aug 18 21:31:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98hf50/workouts/
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What sort of work outs does everyone do?
Atm I'm into mass cardio because I have a lot of weight to lose, I'll spend an hour on the elliptical at the gym because I find it burns the most amount of calories in the shortest amount of time.
But once I lose the initial weight, I want to work more on targeting to create a particular body shape.
my new obsessions!!! 60-100kcal each
/u/ratpaq [5'1 | 106lb | 20.2 | 17lb | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 21:24:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98hdjs/my_new_obsessions_60100kcal_each/
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*Processing img 5hduy4qdxyg11...*
These are either new at my market, or I've just discovered them, but Campbell's Instant Soup packets are my new go-to safe foods
They come in boxes with 3 packets (aka 3 servings)
Cream of Chicken: 103 kcal per serving
Cream of Mushroom: 89 kcal per serving
Wild Mushrooms: 63 kcal per serving
Make excuses to binge when I get heart palpitations
/u/Ekawa [Height 5'3 | CW 110 | -55 |F/22]
Created: Sat Aug 18 21:20:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98hcnj/make_excuses_to_binge_when_i_get_heart/
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Iāll be restricting and feeling like, REALLY ill and when I start to feel the heart palpitations I feel like I gotta give it up and eat food to get it to stop. And when I eat food I end up overdoing it and eating way more calories than I needed to. I really hate heart palpitations.
[Discussion] on looking sick - (potential TW)
/u/thinistheonlyway [5ft5 | CW: ??? | GW: 120 | UGW: 115 | 20F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 21:14:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98hbfi/on_looking_sick_potential_tw/
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I think we're probably all aware of the prevalence, conscious or otherwise, of wanting to appear visibly sick from losing a drastic amount of weight in a short period in the ED community. That very particular look, of your flesh tightening too fast over your bones, your face hollowing out, the darkness under your eyes, the pale waxy tone of your skin. There are days when all I want is to stare at the sickness, when I wake up and rub my hipbones with my hands for twenty minutes because it's all the entertainment I need. There are days when I look at myself and feel like a very frightened kid. It's a joy and a curse. It's an addiction. I think I need people to see that fragility. Maybe nobody will be able to bring themselves to hurt me anymore. Maybe they'll see that I've had enough.
PSA: donāt ask about your boyfriends exās
/u/speedayyyy
Created: Sat Aug 18 21:13:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98hbaw/psa_dont_ask_about_your_boyfriends_exs/
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Fuck my life. We were talking about exās and he knows Iām bi so we were talking about that but then his ex gf came up, who is at least 70lbs skinner than me and super short and cute. Then mentioned how big her tits were. I wanna fucking cry. I have fairly large boobs but they are saggy and not perky probably like hers were because I have a kid/breastfed for a year. My breasts are one of my biggest insecurities. I know itās my fault for bringing it up but I feel like utter shit now. All Iāve ever wanted is small perky tits but Iāll never have that.
Does anyone else get stuck in a drive thru line and then end up regretting their decision? But now youāre stuck.
/u/skinnylilalien
Created: Sat Aug 18 21:00:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98h8le/does_anyone_else_get_stuck_in_a_drive_thru_line/
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[Tip] Panic attack while fasting correlated to lack of electrolytes
/u/philoqueen [5'7 | CW: 112 | BMI: 17.5 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 20:48:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98h645/panic_attack_while_fasting_correlated_to_lack_of/
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Hi friends, be super careful if youāre fasting and make sure to take in electrolytes. Yes you might enjoy feeling high and light but after a while it might get too much.
Testimony: I hadnāt eaten since Wednesday morning and was in about an 80~something hour fast, and I felt totally fine, no hunger, no cravings, until a couple hours ago.
I started feeling really *concerningly* dizzy, my heart rate was at 35 bpm and I couldnāt get it up past 45 bpm (I tried caffeine, taking a walk etc). So I started having a really bad panic attack thinking I was gonna die. It was horrifying. Even though I wasnāt hungry I forced myself to eat an apple, it made me feel worse so I ate an orange, I still felt awful and sick in every way possible, and after a couple hours of panicking like a madman and forcing myself to eat, I drank a can of coconut water and I immediately felt 1000% better.
Itās like magic. I highly highly recommend. Yes it HAS calories but 5k steps burns it off which is pretty easy, so I wouldnāt stress it too much. Yes you could have NoSalt instead for potassium, but coconut water has other minerals and vitamins that your body needs. Itās completely totally worth it.
Tl;dr: coconut water helped me when i was fasting and having a panic attack from the physiological symptoms.
[Goal] I ate like a normal person today
/u/fight-me-grrm
Created: Sat Aug 18 20:42:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98h4rj/i_ate_like_a_normal_person_today/
---
About three weeks ago, I slid into a relapse. Hard. My behaviors have been out of control lately and honestly on my really bad days I donāt really want to get better.
But today I woke up and I was doing good. I spent the morning doing something I really enjoy that makes me feel good.
I went to a new restaurant everyone has been talking about, and I ordered their most popular meal. I ate the whole thing. I didnāt pick it apart. I didnāt eat fast enough to make myself sick. I ate one bite at a time, chewed slowly, and actually tasted it. LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.
I did a few simple responsible adult things that Iāve been putting off for two months. LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.
I went to a grocery store I always avoid because it carries my trigger foods and sets of a binge every time. I walked past ALL of them and bought normal food, actually thinking about which things I truly wanted to eat. LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.
I got home and ate a snack, and then I STOPPED. I waited until I was hungry, ate a NORMAL dinner, and stopped when I was full. Then I went to bed without eating anything else. LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.
Like... holy shit. Even during recovery I tried to keep my behaviors in check but still had a hard time eating the way most people do, without stress and overthinking.
But deep down I canāt help but feel like Iām never gonna get better if I think itās such an accomplishment to eat like everybody else. Damn
[Rant/Rave] My ex-bullimic friend and I measured our bodies to compare them.
/u/Mystalist [5' 6'' | 148lbs | 23.98 | NGW: 145 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 20:27:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98h1i9/my_exbullimic_friend_and_i_measured_our_bodies_to/
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This sounds terrible, but it was all fun and games for both of us. We were laughing about our insecurities and then I found something out.
We almost had the same exact measurements everywhere.
I looked at both of us in the mirror and I was more fat, by a lot. I didn't say anything about it and continued to have fun, but it was weird. I don't think I have body dysmorphia, but it was very off-putting.
[Goal] Okay letās make this week better than last week
/u/halfcigarette [5'4"| CW: too freaked to check | BMI:20ish | 22F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 20:01:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98gvu4/okay_lets_make_this_week_better_than_last_week/
---
Whatever that means to you, letās do it
[Discussion] What food are you missing right now?
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 115 | 17.95 | 14.2 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 19:56:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98gujk/what_food_are_you_missing_right_now/
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Iāve commented before about honey roasted peanuts. Iāve been restricting so well (around 450 calories) for so long, but Iām nearly in tears because all I want are handfuls after handfuls of honey roasted peanuts. I want the texture, the taste, the coldness of the inside of the peanut, Iām gonna lose it. Thatās why I donāt keep them around! Whatās doing it for you guys rn?
Emotional issues on Bronkaid?
/u/toe-beanz [5'2" | CW: 118 | 21.6 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 19:20:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98gmmm/emotional_issues_on_bronkaid/
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Iāve taken EC stacks for a few months now. It used to be an every day thing, but I noticed my emotions are completely erratic on days I take it. I do have some emotional issues, depression, anxiety, dramatic mood swings, but they are never as severe as they are on days when I EC stack. Because of this I havenāt tried in a few weeks and my hunger has been ravenous. I canāt control my eating without it to the point that Iām so full Iām uncomfortable and in pain. Has anyone else experienced this while taking Bronkaid? Is there any other options for EC stacking that wonāt effect my emotions this way, or alternatives to curbing hunge without an EC stackr?
[Discussion] How do you count natural calories?
/u/sakurasora
Created: Sat Aug 18 18:59:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ght2/how_do_you_count_natural_calories/
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Do you count fruits/vegetables in your daily calorie allowance? Now that I'm starting to restrict again, I'm trying to figure out a plan for eating. I think my daily allowance could be a lot lower if I was able to eat veggies or fruits without counting calories, but that kind of feels like cheating. What do you guys think?
my skinny friends told me their bmi's
/u/BackgroundHole
Created: Sat Aug 18 18:42:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98gdwz/my_skinny_friends_told_me_their_bmis/
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they both said theyre around 17 and now im freaking out because i've gained 8 pounds while i was at camp and now mine is like 21 :( time to restrict like crazy so that i can get back down to the teens in time for school
[Rant/Rave] Period Ruined Fast
/u/mabver321
Created: Sat Aug 18 18:29:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98gb47/period_ruined_fast/
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I only lasted 24 hours anyway which I think was pretty good for my first fast. I had to eat something to relieve my awful stomach pains though.
I purged for the first time today.
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 258 | Goal: 250 | 40.9 | 30 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 18:15:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98g7t7/i_purged_for_the_first_time_today/
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Well, attempted to. Didn't get much of the food up. I did get a lot of clear bubbly liquid.
I can't understand why it wouldn't come up, was there just not enough in my stomach, or could it have dissolved that fast? I didn't really binge, I just topped my max for the day by a bit and wanted it out.
Low key hate myself now and somehow I looked even fatter in the mirror afterwards.
I gargled with baking soda water after. ^^^That's ^^^what ^^^you're ^^^supposed ^^^to ^^^do ^^^after, ^^^right?
do i HAVE to eat food with antibiotics?
/u/sepibad [155cm | cw: 54kg | gw: 48kg | 17f]
Created: Sat Aug 18 18:15:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98g7r9/do_i_have_to_eat_food_with_antibiotics/
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so i'm taking antibiotics for my acne (doxycycline hyclate) and i have to take them for 2 months. i normally fast a lot so i first took them on an empty stomach and i felt like shit for like 30 minutes but then it subsided.
i told my dad (who's a doctor) and he told me that if i keep doing that i'm gonna get antibiotic induced diarrhea or something? but i looked up if my antibiotics have to be taken with food and it was kind of a mixed response.
i wanna know if it's alright for me to be eating nothing (for the most part) while taking them for a while? like no long term damage or anything. thanks fellas
I got laxatives but...
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Sat Aug 18 18:09:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98g67k/i_got_laxatives_but/
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I worry my roommate will hear me go. I donāt know her schedule, so I donāt know what time would work. This far Iāve just been drinking large amounts of coffee and prune juice.
I just hate the feeling of food being in me. I canāt purge, it never works, and the coffee and prune juice worked. But then I thought I needed something more intense.
If I can figure out her schedule and it works with mine then Iāll do it. But if I never get that opportunity then I guess Iāll have to put up with food being in me.
Ahhhh yes
/u/Maddiesin
Created: Sat Aug 18 17:55:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98g37h/ahhhh_yes/
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https://i.redd.it/soq32jsswxg11.jpg
[Help] Possibly weird question about guilt-induced bingeing?
/u/xz8362614455921r
Created: Sat Aug 18 17:55:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98g33s/possibly_weird_question_about_guiltinduced/
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Hi, new to reddit, but this seemed like the right place to direct this question: I've had an ED for over a decade -- I'm 26, 5'2, and have had largely restrictive tendencies. Was Dx'd anorexic in the past, but no longer fit the criteria, altho i do still restrict on and off.
Recently, I've rejoined a calorie tracking app to see what I've been averaging lately, and then slowly scaling down my daily intake.
Long story short, I've been doing okay, but one problem I run into that Idk how to deal with is: one of my roommates likes to order takeout twice (sometimes even three times) a week, for everyone in the appartment. Normally on the night she orders, I stay within my intake, but the problem is always the next day: neither of my roommates eat leftovers at all, and always tend to over-order food. I was raised kind of poor, with a strict upbringing to not waste food (sometimes even if it's spoiled). So if there's any leftovers that are vegetarian, I end up in and out of the kitchen all day just stuffing my face.
Neither of my roommates have this issue (neither of them have EDs either), and seem totally fine with wasting large quantities of food, but I feel guilty and ashamed and weird just throwing it all away.
But then I feel guilty and ashamed and weird (as fat) eating it all. Has anyone else had similar experiences to this? I usually only eat one meal per day (dinner), but if we have leftovers, I will eat all day until I feel overly full and force myself to take anything that's left outside to the dumpster.
I used to have so much more self-control than this & it's disgusting for me to even admit this is a problem
Sorry for the long post & thanks to anyone who has read this far! (Also sorry for any formatting issues, as I'm on mobile!)
[Goal] The Tiniest Win
/u/ManicPixieBallerina
Created: Sat Aug 18 17:54:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98g2yx/the_tiniest_win/
---
I ordered some new professional clothes, becase I'm going to have job interviews soon and I wanted some specific clothing items I wasn't finding in stores. So off to amazon, place where the damn costime came from that wasn't sized right that fucked me up for weeks came from. This time I went to a seller I already knew could sorta fit, and did my measurements knowing I've gotten bigger in some areas, and smaller in others (RIP my skinny thighs dream, maybe if I get a good job I can invest in some cool sculpting and other body contouring.) It's nothing special, just plain black dresses, shirts, and a cool hoodie dress that is super comfy and the shortest sleeves I can get away with at work. I ordered a size small, because my measurements still fit in a small, and I know this brand.
They came in and... they fit. Not too small, but not too big either. I was hoping they'd be a bit big, but I guess it's better than them being too small.
Moment of silence for all that suffering (and/or joy?) caused by nut butter.
/u/Sidehothrowaway [f | 31 | 142lbs lost | GW ?]
Created: Sat Aug 18 17:53:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98g2my/moment_of_silence_for_all_that_suffering_andor/
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In the grand scheme of things, there really are much worse things to binge on, nutrition wise. It just sucks that you end up sucking back so many calories all at once since its so damn dense and delicious. To be perfectly honest some could probably use the fat calories and carbs (sorry).
Health wise, if it comes down to a jar of natural peanut butter or a cheesecake, peanut butter wins. Fast food bender or a jar of cashew butter? Cashew butter. A whole tray of cupcakes or a room temperature jar of natural peanut butter and a chocolate halo top? Yeah...the nut butter and halo top.
The calories and the carbs blow and so does the guilt. Dealing with it right now and I'm not sure if I'm posting this just to make myself feel better because I fucked up or not, but when you get that really scary kind of hungry nut butter can actually be handy. on the flip side, when you're not scary scary hungry and you're really upset and you asked your husband not to buy it and he did anyway and it was the good natural kind that was extra mushy and you were extra tired and stressed out and ate half the jar for no reason and felt like a failure afterwards and ended up getting a 12 pack of Truly seltzers knowing you have to be at work in 7 hours it's an issue. Today, it's peanut butter and booze. Tomorrow it's regret, prescription drugs, and caffeine.
So...moment of silence for the good and the bad sides of nut butters.
[Discussion] Just binged, i have no self control
/u/tarynughhh
Created: Sat Aug 18 17:44:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98g0rq/just_binged_i_have_no_self_control/
---
i donāt know why this is upsetting me so much. i had a meal plan to eat a banana with almond butter for breakfast and then a boiled egg and apple for dinner (around 300 cal) and i ended up eating a lot of soup and gluten free bread (500 cal) and i just feel so discouraged. i hate the feeling of my stomach being full now. iām 5ā8 and weigh 120 and iāll never lose weight this way.
[Help] s t r e t c h m a r k s
/u/fweakybby [5ā5ā | 132| 22.0 | 68lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 17:43:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98g0i8/s_t_r_e_t_c_h_m_a_r_k_s/
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mother of god
iāve always had them honestly, as soon as my body starting shifting around during puberty i started getting stretch marks
well
now that iāve lost more than 70 pounds obviously theyāve gotten worse
iām lucky that most of them are light but the ones on my inner thighs are so large and deep(?) they almost look like self harm scars. like they blend into with the ones i have from self harm.
i know thereās probably not a lot i can do because they are already there but anyone have any advice?
tbh iāll probably get tattoos over all of them eventually lmao
I'm 20, can my parents force me to go into inpatient? (America)
/u/Throwaway82728282
Created: Sat Aug 18 17:34:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98fyc6/im_20_can_my_parents_force_me_to_go_into/
---
I'm 20, a college student 5'3 with a 28 BMI
I'm worried my parents or my college will make me do impatient.
I eat 800 calories a day and I don't want to do it. I regret even coming clean to them about my anorexia.
I didn't eat for a week and I was so hungry I threw up and told them I haven't ate and I'm hungry and want to eat - they always eat without me and I was sick of it
They leave me home alone all day and I was fucking starving
I'm so scared they'll make me do impatient or my university will.
The first thing on my mind is my degree, then weight loss.
Does anyone have advice for this?
[Help] I got laxatives but I worried
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Sat Aug 18 16:47:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98fnil/i_got_laxatives_but_i_worried/
---
I share a bathroom with a roommate and I donāt want her to hear me shitting like that. Iāll figure out her schedule and take it so I can go when sheās not here.
[Other] I tried making some vent art last night because idk I just feel like Iām drowning in my ED sometimes
/u/blmatsuu [5'2 | 105 | 19.2 | -50 | FTM]
Created: Sat Aug 18 16:33:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98fk9v/i_tried_making_some_vent_art_last_night_because/
---
https://i.redd.it/a0fwfbm7ixg11.jpg
[Help] I need an accountability buddy
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Sat Aug 18 16:27:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98fipm/i_need_an_accountability_buddy/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Can finally purge hands-free (yay?)
/u/feellikegucci [5'2 | cw: 145 | 26.4 | gw: 88 | -13lbs | 18 F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 16:03:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98fd0j/can_finally_purge_handsfree_yay/
---
I never thought it was possible, but after 3 years of \**hardwork and experience*\* (/s) I discovered I can do it. Look, mom, no hands!
Not the milestone I was the most eager to achieve. Also, I'm not sure if I should be feeling pleased with myself for acquiring a skill that only causes me harm. But yay, I guess! My knuckles thank me (though I can't say the same for my poor teeth enamel).
Am I the only one who feels like my ed is bad enough?
/u/anasabitch
Created: Sat Aug 18 15:54:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98fath/am_i_the_only_one_who_feels_like_my_ed_is_bad/
---
Like, i could be be feeling cold, no period in months, but feel like, nope, I donāt have an ed because my net cals was only 700? Anyone else feel like this?
[Rant/Rave] I tried purging and it didnāt work
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 119 | gw: 110| ugw: 105/100| F|19]
Created: Sat Aug 18 15:48:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98f97j/i_tried_purging_and_it_didnt_work/
---
I used one finger and all it did was make my eyes water and spit up some mucus. How disappointing.
Anyone here on the autism spectrum?
/u/trapdoor_tirade
Created: Sat Aug 18 15:28:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98f3z4/anyone_here_on_the_autism_spectrum/
---
I'm a female with both Autism Spectrum Disorder (high functioning) and anorexia nervosa / ARFID. Anyone else? I'd be surprised if there weren't.
Apparently there are links between autism and anorexia. My psychiatrist printed me off an article talking about how autism manifests itself in females as opposed to males, and I learned that scientists believe anorexia can be a manifestation of autism. There was a survey quoted in the article where they surveyed the prevalence of autism in girls with anorexia as opposed to the general population, and 23% of the anorexic girls surveyed also had autism. That's nearly 1/4 of anorexic girls.
Regardless of the stats, I'd like to hear some experiences of what it was like for you to have both. For me, an example is my safe foods- I'm an extremely picky eater (autism) and my safe foods tend to be low calorie (anorexia), I want to eat these foods every day on a routine (autism) and feel really anxious when I can't (both). Food and autism have a strange relationship- I get into crazy safe food routines and I am extremely bothered by the texture of a lot of foods (ex: steak is too fibrous, I don't like when my teeth touch the chicken bone so I don't eat wings, peanut butter is too sticky, eggs are too jiggly and I can feel them sitting in my mouth etc ), which makes restriction easier but eating in general pretty stressful when I haven't prepared it myself. I also have a special interest in nutrition and there was a time where I was completely addicted to ED forums, diet magazines, all the culture and science behind EDs, medical studies etc I just sometimes wanna read all about it for hours and hours.
[Rant/Rave] EMERGENCY EMERGENCY EMERGENCY
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 81lbs | BMI: 15-something | -?lbs| f]
Created: Sat Aug 18 15:21:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98f2a9/emergency_emergency_emergency/
---
MAYDAY MAYDAY CASUALTY CONFIRMED
RIP MY SHOWER AUGUST 18 2018
Ohhhhh man guys i am in a pinch.
Anybody who purged probably knows its way more pleasant in the shower- no splash back, easy cleanup, etc.
But this time, a glob of cheesy ramen has completely blocked my drain.
I don't live alone.
I have no source of income.
I CANNOT tell my emotionally abusive mother that I actually did something worth screaming about.
I don't know what to do.
I've been pouring dish soap and vinegar down it all night/much of this morning but it's only helped a little.
I can SEE the mass of congealed ramen but i can't make it move.
I've been trying to pick bits out with some tweezers.
Isn't bulimia *glamorous?*
[Rant/Rave] Thanks mom.
/u/swankarma [5'5 | CW: 126 | 20.9 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 15:17:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98f15l/thanks_mom/
---
Today, i tried eating like a ānormalā person for whatever reason my brain thought that was a good idea (it wasnāt) and about an hour ago, my mom was on the phone with my dad who lives abroad, and he asked about me, and she proceeded to tell him that āi havenāt stopped stuffing my face with food todayā and that āmy mouth hasnāt stopped chewing since i woke upā. I have been thinking about this ever since, and all i have to say is, thanks mom.
[Other] No weigh-ins until September who's with me
/u/audreyhepburnwho
Created: Sat Aug 18 14:45:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98et59/no_weighins_until_september_whos_with_me/
---
So... I'm not super decided i guess but im tempted to hide away my scale until September 1st because, if I go perfectly for these next two weeks I might reach my goal. But if i check the scale constantly sometimes it triggers me to either binge or just kinda stop restricting, whether it's because it's a low number and I'm like aah this is easy no need to not eat that food I've been thinking about. Or it's a high number and i get sad and binge to cope lol. I feel like if i have no idea what the number is, it's s trigger to keep low restricting because i can't tell if I'm losing so i have to play on the safe side, if it makes sense... So... Anyone in? For real?
Just had a breakdown in the fitting room.
/u/xpetitallegro [5'7" | SW: 170 | CW: 146 | GW: 100 | 26F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 14:37:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98eqya/just_had_a_breakdown_in_the_fitting_room/
---
I forgot it was the weekend before school starts, so the store is already swarming with moms and kids and screaming babies. I bring a size 6 and a size 8 into the dressing room - somehow expecting to fit into the 6's but had the 8's just in case.
I couldn't get the 6's past my thighs.
The 8's got up but I couldn't button them.
I tried getting 10's. They were snug.
I burst out crying because that meant I was a fucking TWELVE. All I could think about was several years ago, when I wore a size 0 or 2. The lady who was attending the fitting rooms had to ask me what was wrong, and I just blurted out something about period cramps. It was so fucking embarrassing.
Anorexia sucks, but at least I looked good back then. Not a fatass whale in a size 12.
[Rant/Rave] depo-provera
/u/smolbeanbaby [5'2 | 132 | 24.1 | 34 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 14:25:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98enzp/depoprovera/
---
my doctor had me get the depo shot!!! he was going to have me on the pill(to try to regulate my period), but i let him know iām sexually active and he knows iām bad at remembering to take pills, so i just got the shot instead. anyways i am like... hella nervous about gaining weight. like literally terrified. iāve been restricting down to 1300 again(i burn anywhere from 2000-2700 cals a day) and praying i donāt gain but thereās this little voice in my head saying iām going to gain no matter what i do. iām super fucking anxious about this, and while this solves a lot of my anxiety about getting pregnant, i really donāt want to gain weight. i got it a little less than a week ago and i donāt think iāve had a huge change in appetite, but, still nervous.
has anyone else had experience with depo?
[Other] Another photo. 5"5. 155-60lbs to 115lbs. Double Ds to a small B. I don't miss em, I never need to wear a bra anymore.
/u/justfucknendmylife
Created: Sat Aug 18 14:11:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98ekbv/another_photo_55_15560lbs_to_115lbs_double_ds_to/
---
https://i.redd.it/1fpojv8vswg11.jpg
Holy shit Iām hyped
/u/blmatsuu [5'2 | 105 | 19.2 | -50 | FTM]
Created: Sat Aug 18 12:47:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98dy4c/holy_shit_im_hyped/
---
I was out in town yesterday and I saw [these](https://imgur.com/a/SrtJ28U) and at first I was thinking āhmm this is a scamā but Iād just got money and I kept binging so I bought a bottle and holy shit theyāre great?? Iāve literally never been able to go a day without eating at least a couple hundred calories and Iām on day two of my first ever fast right now, Iāve hit a bit of a plateau so Iām hoping this is gonna help :)
Theyāre expensive as fuck (Ā£11 for a bottle of 40, itās not really that bad but I donāt have a job or anything so itās a lot for me lmfao) but still itās cool because Iām not really hungry?? And whenever I do get hungry I just pop a couple of these and boom Iām good to go for the next few hours, idk this isnāt sponsored Iām just hyped and wanted to share this with yāall š
Trying to exercise after a huge binge
/u/Myrrsha
Created: Sat Aug 18 12:47:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98dy1r/trying_to_exercise_after_a_huge_binge/
---
https://v.redd.it/dys7rgh6zug11
What's your favourite diet drink/soda?
/u/CharlieJScarper [5'0.5" | CW 91.5lbs | BMI 17.5 | FTM]
Created: Sat Aug 18 12:44:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98dxes/whats_your_favourite_diet_drinksoda/
---
https://i.redd.it/ba72qbuddwg11.jpg
Zero app on Android PlayStore, is it real?
/u/FloraMedicPixie
Created: Sat Aug 18 12:41:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98dwif/zero_app_on_android_playstore_is_it_real/
---
I see the Zero app is on the PlayStore and has been for a few days. But is it the real app or a knock off, would it be dangerous to download it?
The only reason I am asking is because it's from "Only awesome apps" an I don't think that's the actual developer. >_>
I'm starting recovery on Monday
/u/morco99
Created: Sat Aug 18 12:40:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98dw7q/im_starting_recovery_on_monday/
---
And I didn't think I'd ever be ready for it. I've spent the past few weeks sobbing nonstop, but I'm now looking forward to having a healthy relationship with food and eating during holidays. I want to not have my mom bring me a garbage bag so I can get a few bites of ice cream out of myself, or puke at work after eating a six unplanned grapes. I took pictures of myself the other day and I thought I looked so bony and frail, but losing weight is second nature now. Disordered eating has become so ingrained in my personality that I haven't talked to most of my friends in several months (despite them reaching out), and I quit my job and am leaving co-workers that I literally love. My eating disorder has me lose things that are way more important than weight.
Goodbye. Thank you all so much for being here when I needed support. I wish you all the best. š
Telling your significant other versus not telling your significant other about your eating disorder
/u/justhush1 [5'4" | CW: alive | UGW: dead |]
Created: Sat Aug 18 12:35:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98dutn/telling_your_significant_other_versus_not_telling/
---
I just entered my first relationship after leaving a very emotionally abusive relationship, and I feel really lost because he is such a nice guy, and it's showing me how broken I am. I feel like I need all the advice I can get on how to have a successful relationship But that all beside the point.
We've only been dating for a week, which I believe is too early to share such personal details, but he is already noticing some of my disordered eating habits, like how most of the time I claim to be too nauseous to eat most of the time, and how when I do eat, its usually just a small salad. He's made comments, but I just wrote it off of me feeling sick all week, but that excuse won't last for much longer.
So I was wondering with your guyses experience, whats it like having a relationship with someone who knows versus someone who doesn't know. Which one would you recommend?
who are your favorite thinspo youtubers?
/u/stinkyfern [5'5" | 29.9 | +24lbs | F(ood addict)]
Created: Sat Aug 18 12:07:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98dnad/who_are_your_favorite_thinspo_youtubers/
---
I'll start. Rachel from [Rachel & Jun's Adventures](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSzHO_V894KyTDw3UgZS7gg). She's the definition of the word willowy, and her husband Jun is slim too.
Are sedatives worth taking recreationally?
/u/Throwaway82728282
Created: Sat Aug 18 12:05:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98dmtc/are_sedatives_worth_taking_recreationally/
---
I was given a script for one, I forgot the name but I never picked it up and I'm planning to (supposed to do a spin MRI but I forgot to sign up for one..so..)
Anyways, is there any use to it? I know I'll just fall asleep but..is there any point? Is there any high before you pass out?
[Discussion] Restricting messes with my sense of time
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Sat Aug 18 11:55:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98dk51/restricting_messes_with_my_sense_of_time/
---
I've only been really restricting again since the end of July beginning of august so 3 weeks max. I've lost 8 pounds but it feels like it's already been too long and not quick enough. Then I see normal people on progresspics or whatever be like "6 pounds in 7 weeks is so quick!" I'm like "oh...right it hasn't even been a month"...Yeahhh I'm not going to be upset I'm still 154 for today
[Discussion] Alexandra off of love island is only a size 8 (UK) and she was the ābiggestā girl in there
/u/pudseybear20
Created: Sat Aug 18 11:34:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98defv/alexandra_off_of_love_island_is_only_a_size_8_uk/
---
https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/7030520/alexandra-cane-blasts-love-island-bosses-dress-size/
Targeted advertising fail
/u/DavidMitchellTurtle [5'8" | M/17 | CW 192lbs | GW 115 | BMI 28.8 | Lost 68]
Created: Sat Aug 18 11:34:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98dedg/targeted_advertising_fail/
---
https://i.imgur.com/gEvkmlh.jpg
What does "Recoverd" mean to you?
/u/DexterIbarbo
Created: Sat Aug 18 11:24:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98dbr1/what_does_recoverd_mean_to_you/
---
Just curious on your opinions. How would you describe somebody who is recoverd from their ED? For me recovery would mean that my desire to lose weight isn't the most important thing in the world anymore. It would mean a life without any food related guilt, anxiety etc. Unfortunately I'm far from that point :(
[Rant/Rave] My dad loves to bully me and his girlfriend into losing weight.
/u/eighttorches [5'2 | 15 from goal | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 11:07:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98d7b8/my_dad_loves_to_bully_me_and_his_girlfriend_into/
---
He's never admitted to doing it untill today, but it was so blatantly obvious. He calls his girlfriend fat all of the time and she just laughed it off and agreed with him. She's not the healthiest person and is a bit overweight but she's struggled with an eating disorder in the past and he's such a dick to her for this. I used to think i had body dismorphia but now i dont even know anymore with him. He's medically obese himself and i dont get it. Today he told me "im making steak and potatoes for my fat girlfriend and daughter". I said that was mean and {insert girlfriends name} has been successfully trying to lose weight for a long time now and im very proud of her. THEN he had the nerve to say "it's because i called her fat all the time, it's what i do to motivate women to lose weight". Im so hurt. I used to have a bmi of 17.5 and i admit since revovery ive gained a bit but im still healthy. This pushed my relapse over the edge. Im so fucking done. Im so close to being underweight again. Sorry for rant.
.
TLDR: My dad motivates his loved ones with eating disorders to lose weight by calling them fat and it works.
Big Relapse
/u/tickerrtape
Created: Sat Aug 18 10:56:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98d48h/big_relapse/
---
I have been ārecoveredā for the past 3 years with small relapses that didnāt really stick around. However, this past winter I gained 30 pounds from being on medication and it pushed me over the edge. I hit a new HW of 204 lbs (honestly i want to die) and it REALLY triggered me into the worst relapse Iāve had since ārecoveryā. Itās been about 3 weeks and iām already almost down 10 pounds. I know itās fucked up but it is so comforting to be back in control. Also iām really happy I found this subreddit because I feel like I can be open about things and reading stories from people going through the same thing makes me feel less lonely!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Yall have some shitty ass friends
/u/Beanutpean
Created: Sat Aug 18 10:50:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98d2pu/yall_have_some_shitty_ass_friends/
---
I see so many posts on here about people's best friend's telling them how fat they are or how their s/o's encourage their restricting and unhealthy weight loss and I am just so sad for them. I understand part of this disorder is not knowing your worth and thinking you deserve less than you do, but these toxic people are feeding into your disorder. These people are making you sicker. I wish you guys could see how harmful these "loved ones" really are. Especially since some of you are so young, it may seem like it it's better than being alone or that you have to be around these people but you don't. And while being alone is tough, spreading your wings and leaving this people behind will help you so much in the long run. Us people suffering from eating disorders beat ourselves up daily, please don't let other people beat you down too. It's hard enough just surviving, know you're loved and surround yourself with people who make you feel that way. xx
Who else here uses dating apps? Tinder/bumble/etc.
/u/mks_993
Created: Sat Aug 18 10:40:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98czvr/who_else_here_uses_dating_apps_tinderbumbleetc/
---
Iām on a couple dating apps, but Iām way too scared to actually meet up with anyone because Iām just afraid they will think Iām fat.
I show my full body in my pictures and Iām not trying to mislead anyone or anything, but for some reason I still feel like I look different IRL.
I know that, objectively, Iām not overweight (5ā6, 130lbs) but whenever I see girls that are thinner than myself I just think, why would anyone be interested in me.
I donāt know if any of this is making sense, but basically I guess I just use apps to gauge interest, and I donāt intend on meeting up with anyone til I reach my goal weight of 110.
Thoughts on dating apps?
[Rant/Rave] purging pizza is so difficult. fuck.
/u/turdddburger
Created: Sat Aug 18 10:34:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98cyb4/purging_pizza_is_so_difficult_fuck/
---
fuck pizza hut. fuck pizza. why does it have to be so damn good? i just ate half a medium pizza and iāve been sitting here for the past 10 mins trying to purge and i canāt. it just wonāt come up. fuck. i hate myself.
[Other] Embarrassed- TMI (pooooop)
/u/fuckingusernamee [4'11| 105| 21.2 | 30 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 10:30:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98cxbx/embarrassed_tmi_pooooop/
---
Well... Iāve reached an all new level of embarrassment. I hadnāt pooped in over a week, and I had no idea why because I had been eating even if very lightly, so I shouldāve been pooping at least a little. I took a laxative last night after dinner and this morning, it happened, I had to poop! But... it was the most painful shit I have even fucking taken, I was feeling dizzy and nauseous from it, and I had the worst stomach pains I had EVER experienced, so I called my boyfriend, who was down stairs with his friends, and had him come sit in with me. My boyfriend sat with me while I literally shat and cried, and clutched my stomach in pain... right in front of him. I was so embarrassed but I legitimately thought I was about to go out like Elvis Presley and I was scared. He knows about my ED, but not that I abuse laxatives, although he is pretty educated on the behaviors and symptoms of those who have an ED, he has a history himself with BED, so I assume he knew what was going on. I feel like a big dumb idiot. Was it stupid to have taken a laxative when constipated? Is that dangerous? Iāve taken lax on nearly an empty stomach before and never had this type of pain from it.
My friend triggered me...AGAIN
/u/KaitlynMK
Created: Sat Aug 18 10:28:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98cwqm/my_friend_triggered_meagain/
---
My friend brought over some cloths that she didnāt want any more. There where some shirts and shorts.I picked up a pair of shorts and she strait up told me āthose shorts wonāt fit you.ā
[Rant/Rave] You know you have an issue when you're freaking out about holiday food in August
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Sat Aug 18 10:19:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98cuem/you_know_you_have_an_issue_when_youre_freaking/
---
If all goes to plan I should be gw by nov/dec..but Halloween, then thanksgiving, then Christmas, then new years...also my birthday is soon D: . Why must holidays revolve around binging between October to January here?
[Discussion] What are your top 3 body goals?
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Sat Aug 18 10:08:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98crer/what_are_your_top_3_body_goals/
---
Mine are:
1. To lose enough weight that my boobs become an A cup again
2. To get a thigh gap
3. To see my ribs
Hbu? Maybe I can steal some body goals off of you guys :P
I love being home alone!
/u/warmcorgi53
Created: Sat Aug 18 09:55:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98co1v/i_love_being_home_alone/
---
I can have my secret food scale out in the open! I don't have to worry about anyone seeing me weigh out all of the ingredients to my meals! When my family is home, I have to wait until around 9pm to make myself dinner. This is because they will have already eaten their meals and have gone to bed. It is sad though because I used to tease my older brother for using a food scale to weigh out his goldfish once (he got into a macro-counting phase) and now I'M the one who uses one to weigh one single ounce of coffee creamer every single morning.
[Rant/Rave] at my worst
/u/reivelle
Created: Sat Aug 18 09:39:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98cjur/at_my_worst/
---
Long time lurker, felt like posting this because I need to get it off my chest. Long post ahead, could skip to end for tl;dr.
Heads-up: no one knows I have disordered eating. I don't look at the scale to see how much I lose but rather at my body, don't like to drink liquids since it gives me a belly and I feel like I gain weight because of it, don't count calories either but instead look at the portion of food I eat (including high calorie foods) also not close to my family at all but still staying under the same roof, and they dont know anything at all. So taking all this into account: eating a few biscuit packs and drinking even just 250ml of water makes me feel like I've gained weight. Unusual, right? I don't really know if this counts as disordered eating or an ED haha.
I was at my lowest weight in May, due to exam stress. Ever since that particular exam period ended, I've been binging non-stop. I didn't gain much, maybe 4kg? But it feels much more than 4kg when I look at my body. Maybe it's body dysmorphia, I'm not sure, but I feel like I look a lot bigger. I did go on mini binge and restrict cycles, but it hasn't worked out well, since I binge a lot once I start. I've felt terribly bad everytime.
It started off last year when my parents kept telling me I looked fat. I didn't take it to heart, but once I realised that I DID gain a lot compared to how thin I was a few years back, I started to be conscious of my eating habits. I started exercising. Funnily enough, I came to love that feeling of an empty stomach and exercising as well. Ever since then, I stopped having the regular 3 meals a day and stopped eating rice. (I'm Asian)
During that exam period, I decided to stop exercising since I was going to restrict that whole period or not eat that much. (also needed to revise a lot of things through the night so I took the time I had to exercise at night to revise). Lo and behold, I ate about 5 candy bars a day and drank a bottle of an oat-based drink(?). I felt full just eating that, and always gained a little belly after. When my exams ended, I realised that I gained fat on my waist and hips, which I never had. I broke down. I shouldn't have stopped exercising. I started up my exercise routine again, only this time I started to get tired of exercising and hated it. I couldn't do the same exercise routine without feeling really drained when I tried to get back in the groove of things. Neither could I control my eating habits. I ate and ate. I never felt full. If I did, I felt tired, and like the pig I am, I just slept the bad feelings off. I hated myself a lot. I couldn't believe what I had done to myself. I lost every bit of self-control.
Eventually, I thought it was futile and I should just live a healthy lifestyle. I started to exercise again, modifying my routine and tried to eat more, but I don't think I can stomach 3 meals a day anymore. I felt better. I ate whenever I wanted and exercising started to feel good again. However, a few weeks ago my mother started to lose weight rapidly. She didn't try to or seek to, she just did because of stress. I could see it in her legs and arms. I didn't mind until she decided to check her weight on the scale which is in my room. She lost 5kg and told me about it. It triggered me really hard but I couldn't tell her because she didn't know about my condition, so I tolerated it. But just a few days ago, she said I looked fat again. I got triggered further. I felt so much hate for letting myself get to this point. She ate the same amounts like she always did, 3 meals a day, doesn't exercise, and still lost weight? Isn't that unfair compared to me, who's just 'binging' on biscuits, bread or even water and already feels like I've gained 3kg. I tried to restrict from there on, but alas I have failed once again. I can't seem to get back in the flow of things anymore. I hate myself and my body so much. I can't stop comparing myself to other girls who are stick thin and manage to maintain a body like that even though they eat a lot and I feel like such a creep for always staring at them. (a lot of girls in my country are like this, I've seen it with my own eyes) I'm currently at a loss of what to do. I want to hard restrict again, but I've really lost the self-control I once had and I can't get myself to consistently exercise.
tl;dr: feel like shit because I've lost my self-control, gaining weight rapidly, dread exercising and can't seem to stop eating, wanted to somewhat recover but got triggered by my mother to start restricting again
[Help] Restricting Then Overeating Cycle
/u/sakurasora
Created: Sat Aug 18 09:33:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98cigc/restricting_then_overeating_cycle/
---
With school starting, I've found a way to eat the lowest calories possible. I skip breakfast and lunch, which I'd usually eat at school, and then eat dinner with my family at home. But although I'm not hungry once I get home, I can't stop myself from eating crackers and juice and a bunch of unhealthy stuff. I wouldn't consider it binging, but what I eat is usually around 600 calories. Any ways to prevent this?
[Discussion] DAE lose their boobs when they lost their weight?
/u/Beanutpean
Created: Sat Aug 18 09:32:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98cial/dae_lose_their_boobs_when_they_lost_their_weight/
---
I used to be a 34DD now I'm barely a 32B. Miss my big ol titties so much and they just keep getting smaller and smaller. And they're like empty sacs now they aren't cute anymore lmao.
My therapist decided I was having a crisis...
/u/Throwawayr1031
Created: Sat Aug 18 09:25:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98cgc4/my_therapist_decided_i_was_having_a_crisis/
---
But honestly just feels like a usual Saturday
[Discussion] Any Other Gay Girls?
/u/je-tm
Created: Sat Aug 18 09:00:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98c9w6/any_other_gay_girls/
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I sometimes feel as if there are no lgbt girls in this community sometimes? There is such a large focus on looking good for boys, or being attractive to boys, but what about wanting to look good for other girls? It can be alienating sometimes.
Never mind the issue with thinspo - do I want to be her? Or do i want to date her?
low cal sauce??
/u/yungcashewmilk
Created: Sat Aug 18 08:53:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98c8br/low_cal_sauce/
---
does anyone have suggestions for low-cal sauce for veggies (can also just be a random sauce that goes well w veggies) thatās also available in canada (no trader joes <\3)
thanks in advance loves!!
[Discussion] Has anyone else canceled dates/get togethers with friends because of their eating disorder?
/u/IceColdWench
Created: Sat Aug 18 08:35:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98c3pp/has_anyone_else_canceled_datesget_togethers_with/
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I am 32 years old and have been suffering from an eating disorder for the past five years. I was bullied relentlessly as a child/teenager because of my weight and have an extremely distorted way of viewing food. I am at my peak in terms of how I look and feel - which is great - but I find myself canceling dates and other get togethers out of fear and anxiety.
Thing is, I DO want to date and find someone to spend time with .. but this disorder has essentially programmed me to eat specific foods at VERY specific times -- or else all hell breaks loose. I want so much to better myself and beat this, but feel so hopeless.
[Goal] Embarking on my longest fast yet
/u/BroItsJesus [5'4 | CW ? | GW 100 | 18F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 08:31:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98c2ot/embarking_on_my_longest_fast_yet/
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36 hours. I know, I'm a pussy. Wish me luck ā¤
Sugar free jello trick! :D
/u/Wirederry
Created: Sat Aug 18 08:22:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98c0ix/sugar_free_jello_trick_d/
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Long time lurker here but I just had to share this.
Idk if anyone here makes sugar free jello at home but I discovered something awesome yesterday.
It was a tip I saw on the side of the box and I was like "yeah.. ok. Fuck it" š and I did the whole 'Special Twist!' thing they suggested. I had it in the fridge so why not?
Boil water
Stir in jello
Add sparkling water.
Let chill for like 12 hours š
š Holy fuck you guys. Adding La Croix instead of water is sooo good.
I feel like you get a lot more flavor out of it for no added calories/sodium/etc.
Just thought I'd share.
I'm so in love with this.
after a day of starving myself
/u/kahmanee
Created: Sat Aug 18 07:52:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98btmr/after_a_day_of_starving_myself/
---
https://i.redd.it/0lmz9ez9xug11.jpg
[Intro] Hello There!
/u/townpeachcollector [5'5 | SW 191.1 | CW 182.8 | -8.3 | Whamen]
Created: Sat Aug 18 07:44:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98brxl/hello_there/
---
Uh hey, i guess.
I'm Paige (not my real name) and i'm from Australia.
I partially recovered from bulimia not too long ago but recently relapsed, I don't know what I am so i'm just assuming some sub-category of EDNOS at this point.
I used to be apart of MPA before all the crap happened, so much has gone down and it's just so cliquey nowadays, so i've decided to part ways with it and migrate to foreign land, AKA reddit.
I've just been struggling and need some sort of support system, and considering most therapists in my area suck-ass, here i am.
Anyways, thank you in advance for the (probably) warm welcome and i hope to get to know you guys!
[Rant/Rave] Girlfriend ruining all my progress
/u/3cats_in_atrenchcoat
Created: Sat Aug 18 07:40:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98bqxc/girlfriend_ruining_all_my_progress/
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Last night I wanted to make a broccoli omelette and some other breakfast stuff. I've been really trying to eat out less, and cook healthier meals all week. But no my girlfriend wanted something "that actually tasted good, like KFC" I'm still angry this morning. So she gets whatever she wants or she mopes all day so we got KFC last night and I ate way too much.
Guess what though now she wants to go out for breakfast. I woke up feeling like complete shit feeling like a greasy pig and I figured I could just fast today since I work in the evening and there wouldn't be anything to worry about. Nope.
She also has to cook me dinner- to be nice. I suggested she make a dinner on the weekend last night since she has them off and I cook every day I'm not working/put something in the slow cooker and make her work lunches.
WHYyyyyy did I do this. All she wants to eat is unhealthy expensive shit and if I don't like even the tiniest part of it or have the smallest criticism (I'm a cook so I have opinions) I can't say anything and have to clear my plate. So good bye any kind of cheat day for me anymore I get whatever she wants forced down my throat.
I'm sorry this is getting long but this has really been frustrating for me lately
It kills me how Iāll never please everyone
/u/aworkinprogress_
Created: Sat Aug 18 07:20:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98bmpl/it_kills_me_how_ill_never_please_everyone/
---
some people probably think Iām a good weight now. some would probably call me a skinny bitch who needs to eat a burger and some would call me a fatass
just like with boobs
if I donāt get a boob job then I gotta hear people make fun of girls with small boobs but if I do I get to hear about how people who get plastic surgery are vain and fake and how natural is better
you just canāt win lol
I fucked up last night.
/u/xStingx
Created: Sat Aug 18 07:18:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98bm8e/i_fucked_up_last_night/
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Last night was probably the most calories I've had since my Ed started. I'm just gonna consider it a binge. I probably had just over 2,000 cals. I normally purge but I decided not to yesterday (yay me). Three pound weight gain on the scale this morning and my best friend wants to get dinner tonight since I have a buy one get one free coupon. I should pretend to be sick right?
[Rant/Rave] committing to drinking or no drinking at all
/u/wrinkle-crease [5'4" | 112 | 19.7 | -28 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 06:50:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98bghw/committing_to_drinking_or_no_drinking_at_all/
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didnāt know what to title this. ranting about my stupid self last night and wondering why I canāt just act normal around people! TLDR at the bottom
so last night I went to a street festival with my bf and one roomie joined us later on. they wanted to get 1 beer then head home, so I said I wouldnāt drink one if we were gonna leave after anyway and werenāt getting drunk, to save money (and calories duh). we ran into another roomie and some friends and then my bf grabbed another beer. no prob, I was chilling. we were saying that we wouldnāt stay long. before I know it my bf is on his 4th beer and we are looking like weāre not leaving soon after all cuz alcohol street fest fun
HOWEVER I was annoyed because I was sober and didnāt drink any beers since I thought we were leaving soon. my bf told me to just get a beer and I asked if we were staying and drinking, he said to relax and we donāt have a plan. I told him if we stay, now Iāve got to catch up since I was stone sober around ppl who are now all drunk, and I was annoyed since I thought we were leaving, otherwise I would have gotten a beer back in the beginning. bf said he didnāt understand what my problem was, why I was freaking out just bc we changed our plan while we were out, he didnāt understand of course. just told me to get a beer.
didnāt want to explain this ā that I donāt want to waste calories on alcohol if iām not going to get drunk!! I also donāt want to be hanging out with a group of drunk people while completely sober! I just want a plan so I know if I should drink or not!!! I feel crazy because I canāt just chill and accept the changing plans but DAMN IT I am either not going to drink at all or I will commit to getting drunk!!
Sorry if this makes no sense. thank you for listening if you actually read this, needed to vent
TLDR; got upset at a street festival: I didnāt drink cuz I thought we were leaving and didnāt want to waste the calories, then was mad I had to catch up drinking bc plans changed and others got drunk and I didnāt want to be the only sober one
How big are your shoulders?
/u/manfromanother-place [5ā1.75 | CW:104 GW:98 | 19.2 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 06:38:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98be78/how_big_are_your_shoulders/
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Mine are 34.5ā and I feel like theyāre too big compared to the rest of my bone structure :(
[Discussion] DAE feel exercise slows down your weight loss goals?
/u/shrimpbaguette
Created: Sat Aug 18 06:25:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98bbsn/dae_feel_exercise_slows_down_your_weight_loss/
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I find that movement throughout the day=good, but even moderately intensive exercise of any sort just triggers my appetite and I end up eating more. Sometimes my appetite increase continues into the next day! Itās definitely a pattern.
Anyone else feel me?
That said, I 100% believe exercise is healthy and have been incorporating more walks and movement throughout the day, but yeah, only at leisurely paces and for short spurts otherwise the hunger monster just emerges.
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! August 18, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 18 06:11:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98b91m/stupid_questions_saturday_august_18_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for August 18, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 18, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 18 06:10:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98b8zl/daily_food_diary_august_18_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 18, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Today is the day
/u/femaleregister
Created: Sat Aug 18 05:50:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98b53b/today_is_the_day/
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I have struggled with my weight for as long as I remember. In school I had bulimia and ended up having an underweight bmi, I remember being so happy! It got to the point teachers asked if I was ok, I loved when they did. I loved how my clothes hung off me and my bones stuck out.
Now at 23 I am the heaviest I have ever been, and have an overweight bmi. I am so unhappy and have decided that today is the day I get my shit together and start restricting and stop being a fat pig. I need to lose 54lb to be back where I was.
I have been reading this sub for months now and you are all so inspiring, I hope to one day be able to inspire someone.
My question is - what are your best restriction tips? I used to go all day without eating no problem but now I have no self control.
Kim K weighs 110??? š¤£š¤£š¤£
/u/LuciePhew
Created: Sat Aug 18 05:49:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98b4xa/kim_k_weighs_110/
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Saw an article where Kim K claimed she is 110lb.
Am I the only one who this this is proposterous?
Iāve got friends at that weight and they are literally half her size!
Itās like when people have plastic surgery to change their appearance and then deny they had any work done?!
Everyone always wants to eat.
/u/WalkingMed
Created: Sat Aug 18 05:43:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98b3vc/everyone_always_wants_to_eat/
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Since starting med school, I've found that everyone wants to go and eat all the time. I know it's because we're so busy and the only excuse we get to walk away from the books is to eat because "everyone's gotta eat right?".
It seems to be the only social time we have.
Does anyone have any advice how to deal with this? I'm thinking of going with them and saying I brought food from home to have later. But I hate sitting around the table and watching everyone eat. Either it makes me want to eat or makes me so irritated to see it.
[Tip] Best āwhy I canāt eat thatā excuses at a party? And general support
/u/runner_618 [5'5 | CW 117.8 lbs | HW 126.6 lbs | LW 101 lbs | GW 105 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 05:29:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98b19w/best_why_i_cant_eat_that_excuses_at_a_party_and/
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This is my first actual post so sorry if I am violating any rules! Iāll remove it if needed. Also I am on mobile so not sure if that changes how I post.
Ok so I drank and ate a SHIT TON last night after breaking a streak of heavy restriction Wed and Thursday and an all day fast Friday. I just woke up and feel absolutely disgusting. No problem, right? Just restrict or fast today and tomorrow to make up for it! Well I have to go to a bridal shower in a few hours for a family member at a tea house. I checked the menu online and itās FIVE FREAKING COURSES which seem to be a soup (cream of something, sigh, not a nice safe chicken or veggie), salad (ok this may be the only thing I eat), scone with clotted cream and jam (HAHAHA right), a plate of tea sandwiches, and some type of cake for dessert. Plus tea of course. What in the hell can I say when people are like āwhy arenāt you touching your food?ā I usually use illness as an excuse but not sure if it will keep holding up. Also my cousin will be there - last time my ED got very bad she was my baseline for comparing and I would constantly analyze her body and weight. She would tell me how much she weighed also and I would share clothes with her and compare. Anyways she is ādietingā because I am getting married and sheās my maid of honor. So she wants to look good I guess. Obv so do I, as the bride, and yesterday she told me she āalready lost 3 lbsā. I feel sad, and I am sorry if this is too long.
so i went to london for a few days
/u/nipplesalami [5'4.5 | CW: 150 | GW: 115| 16 M]
Created: Sat Aug 18 04:54:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98av8e/so_i_went_to_london_for_a_few_days/
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https://i.redd.it/62uquk0e1ug11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Iāve never been so happy to get my period
/u/BlondeActually [Height 5ā4 | CW 94| BMI 16.1| HW 120| LW 89| GW 88 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 04:23:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98aq8w/ive_never_been_so_happy_to_get_my_period/
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I usually hate my period and feel like an absolute failure when I get it. But now I feel at least I can explain the sudden five pounds weight gain and inability to stop shoveling food into my face for an hour, and get back to restricting normally.
Self-Control
/u/sad_skelly [5'8"|125lbs| F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 04:03:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98amxb/selfcontrol/
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"Who would ever even eat ice cream? That's so high calorie"
*says I while shovelling 20 rice cakes in my face that would be the equivalent of a serving of ice cream or more*
š©š©
[Rant/Rave] NSV
/u/astralaries
Created: Sat Aug 18 03:03:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98adft/nsv/
---
That moment when you reach over your back and feel that your shoulder blade is more prominent š¤¤
[Rant/Rave] My mom commented on my food habits and didnāt understand why I was upset
/u/Nyreeka
Created: Sat Aug 18 02:26:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98a7xl/my_mom_commented_on_my_food_habits_and_didnt/
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So let me start off by saying both my parents work a lot and are rarely home and Iām away for Uni most of the year, therefore when we get the chance to go out all together I get really excited.
My dad took my mom and I out for dinner and it felt really important to me. I really wanted to eat guilt free and just enjoy the time with my parents. I ordered myself some gnocchi and once our food was served at the table my mom asked me, āArenāt you scared of getting fat if you eat things like that?ā
I got so upset and instead of enjoying the evening with my parents, I was busy worrying about all the calories and how much I will have to restrict in order to compensate this one meal. I even told her that her comment upset me yet she didnāt understand why it triggered me and told me that she was ājust askingā.
Honestly I just canāt wait until I go to university where I wonāt get comments on my eating habits like that.
[Rant/Rave] Nothing scares me more than realizing that, when im not actively restricting, I am still basically starving just out of habit and stress.
/u/cas215
Created: Sat Aug 18 01:30:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/989yw3/nothing_scares_me_more_than_realizing_that_when/
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School started back... Ive been dealing with rumors going on around me, major issues at home, as well as taking on the āhardest classā at my school & starting on a big project that will span at least a year. I have not been worrying too much about restricting but have noticed that recently, ive been sleeping 3 hours a night and getting, at most, 600 cals. I know that its probably just stress and subconsciously not eating is how i deal with that, but I hate being reminded that my ED is not āme,ā Its a disorder that fucks with everything I do... that stresses me even more!
Shoutout to sweet potato for stopping my cravings
/u/thrownawaykalbi [5'7"|CW 100.5lbs|BMI 15.6|SW 108lbs|21F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 01:28:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/989yfd/shoutout_to_sweet_potato_for_stopping_my_cravings/
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I've been eating it as my first meal (lunch) every day for the past 4 days and DAMN, it has seriously helped me lower my daily calorie intake.
I've been struggling to stay at 1000 for the past month but since I've started eating this I've been able to eat around 700 and it's been a breeze.
It keeps me full and satisfied for so long. Honestly hunger was never a huge problen for me though, the *cravings* were. Between lunch and dinner I was always obsessing. This seriously cut down on the amount and intensity that I salivate over other food.
I eat 2 sweet potatoes that are 100~200 grams each, and it usually totals to less than 250 calories. I'm totally stuffed aftrr this. I do eat them pretty slowly and put salt on them to make them taste sweeter and more interesting. I've actually tried them with mustard too and it's pretty good. My family doesn't think it's weird at all because where I live (Korea) it's pretty normal to eat sweet potatoes as easy no fuss meals. I actually convinced my grandma to buy a huge box in bulk cause i told her i was reeeally craving them and she's pleased at how excited I am over food cause she, in typical granny fashion, is obsessed with making sure I eat a lot.
Then I am free to eat a pretty normal dinner with my family, whatever they make and I just pick the lower calorie things on the table and stick to about 400~500 or even 600 if I go on a run with my dog. And this way I am safely under 1000. It works so well and I look so normal scarfing down food with the rest of my family.
TL;DR Thank you sweet potatoes, you are so filling and low cal for how delicious and you are. And somehow you are so good at sating my ravenous cravings for junk. I'm in love <3 I see why it is a popular fad diet here to eat only sweet potatoes and apples as food!
[Discussion] DAE look forward to moving away from family so you can restrict freely?
/u/landfill7707
Created: Sat Aug 18 01:18:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/989wum/dae_look_forward_to_moving_away_from_family_so/
---
For me, itās college. Itās so easy to hide an ED when you have a kitchen in your dorm, buy your own groceries, and donāt need to have a meal plan. Parents arenāt around to watch over your shoulder, old friends who know about your ED canāt see you, and hopefully new roommates think itās ānormal for youā
[Rant/Rave] [TW] Dark Drunk thoughts: Trying to cut down on a late night binge + S/H by ranting here [root.. of thatās a thing?]
/u/seedlesssunflower
Created: Sat Aug 18 01:11:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/989vqs/tw_dark_drunk_thoughts_trying_to_cut_down_on_a/
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Years ago I ran into this sad looking person in the hallway at my high school. His eyes were red. We were Facebook friends. Later that day I contemplated messaging him to see if he was ok (this was before I knew what weed was) anyway, as I sat there pondering to press enter to check on his well-being he hung himself.
This was 7 years ago and I die inside every time I tell this story. I feel like Iām trapped in my own rhime of the ancient mariner. Iām awake and alone and this is what I think about. Iām sorry if this is the wrong place to say this.
My nonexistent (according to the DSm-5) ED stems from this. I punish myself for this loss of life. Iām sorry if this triggers or hurts anyone (thatās not a half assed apology Iām legit sorry) consider this my penance. If youāre considering the end all be all, please please please message any green dot (Facebook)/etc, you see online at the time.
Comments from parents
/u/istancamisolecabbage
Created: Sat Aug 18 00:55:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/989sx5/comments_from_parents/
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This summer has been terrible for me. I've been bingeing a lot and I feel like I can't restrict as much I used to. I've been letting myself go ever since my parents told me to stop dieting because I shouldn't get too thin. I fainted once a few months ago and they've told me that they're afraid that I might have an ED.
Of course, they have no fucking problem telling me that I should stop eating and get back into a diet and that I got soooo fat once I started eating normally again. I gained 2kg since the last time they told me to eat. Are they even aware of the words that come out of their mouths? Do they realize that maybe saying these things to their teenage daughter after making her feel guilty about restricting might or might not have consequences?
No matter what I do, they feel like it's okay to comment on my body and make me feel bad about any decision I take. All while eating their 10th slice of pizza in the comfort of their bed.
I don't like it.
[Discussion] For those who have them, how do you feel about your stretch marks?
/u/blood-n-caffiene
Created: Sat Aug 18 00:45:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/989r33/for_those_who_have_them_how_do_you_feel_about/
---
Yeah, title explains it. Idk, just realized mine were pretty visible, and I wondered how you all viewed yours.
Personally, I would much rather not have them, but theyāre there, and I canāt do anything about them. No one Iāve been with has said anything about it, and Iām not going to spend a good chunk of my time worrying about it. I can just do the best I can right now.
So...thoughts?
[Rant/Rave] A very bad night.
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Sat Aug 18 00:38:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/989pwd/a_very_bad_night/
---
I've been restricting hardcore and have unfortunately in the last week or so started purging just about anything that I put in my body. Blueberries. Celery. Coffee. It's bad and scary and not pleasant. 0/10 recommend.
Well tonight I'm at my parents which is just full of food (unlike my apartment which only contains safe things). And they have a fucking cake. Not even a good one. Well my brain after weeks of heavy restricting finally snapped. I didn't exactly binge (probably ate a normal slice of cake amount) but I did this over like several small bites. And after almost each bite I had to fucking purge it. I ate 3 pieces (like individual pieces) of cereal and immediately had to purge it. I think I probably purged like 10 times today. I hate myself, I hate how quickly things have gotten out of control, I hate vomiting all the time, I hate being awake right now exercising.
I just want my life back. I just want my dignity. I just want to be skinny. I just want to be happy. I just want my sanity.
[Rant/Rave] I just got called a pig
/u/noxadvena [5"3 | CW 138 | GW 118 | UGW 110 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 18 00:05:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/989jve/i_just_got_called_a_pig/
---
Iāve been bingeing. A lot. Ive put on a lot of weight and I just had to get on the scales at the doctors office. The nurse commented at the drastic gain in the past week, I said Iād been eating a lot and she said āsomeoneās been a little piggyā. I laughed it off. I know she meant it in a harmless way and doesnāt know Iām struggling with my weight but I just feel like shit even more now. Iāve already been hating myself for the weight Iāve put on and that I havenāt been able to control my binges.
Guess this will be fuel now, whenever I go to eat Iāll remember the embarrassment of stepping on the scales today. Iām determined next time to have the nurses be shocked at how much Iāve LOST.
[Rant/Rave] Itās 6:30am and Iāve already binged
/u/SkinnyAgain259 [Height 5ā7ā| CW 155lbs | BMI 24.2 | Weight Lost 5lbs | Gender F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 23:36:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/989eml/its_630am_and_ive_already_binged/
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I woke up an hour ago and Iāve already had 3 Ice cream cones and 2 pizza subs. I feel sick and Iāve ruined my day already. Iām so annoyed at myself.
I keep looking at old pictures of myself and wondering if Iāll ever look like that again. Iāve been trying to lose weight for months now but keep failing. If I would have stuck to my weight lose when I initially wanted to start Iād be down 28lbs now.
[Other] Muscle cramps from restricting?
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 115 | 17.95 | 14.2 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 23:18:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/989b1r/muscle_cramps_from_restricting/
---
Iāve been sticking to around 400 calories (but a lot of protein) for about a week now and Iām noticing that Iām getting a lot of muscle cramps. Has that happened to anyone else? Is it a result of restricting?
I clicked away
/u/LowStory
Created: Fri Aug 17 23:05:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9898ec/i_clicked_away/
---
Today, someone decided to take a picture of me and some other volunteers for social media. It wasnāt something I could get out of. Iāve been in a...rough place with dysmorphia lately. Itās been flairing up a lot of terrible habits and dangerous thoughts. After work, I felt weak and stupid and decided I would punish myself and look at the photo. My initial thought was that I didnāt actually hate it. The real victory is that I clicked away before I could think anything else. Its such a small victory, but Iām so proud of myself.
Probably have ruined my singing voice. (GROSS)
/u/Jawzzy98
Created: Fri Aug 17 22:44:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9894cz/probably_have_ruined_my_singing_voice_gross/
---
I restrict more than anything, and I can count on one hand the number of times that I have purged deliberately. I have one weird habit though. Every morning after I brush my teeth, I burp myself. Literally stick my tootbrush far enough so I burp but not puke. I do this because I feel like I look bloated when waking up.
However, I have accidentally vomited small amounts maybe 1/3 of the times I've done this. And I've been doing this for years. Maybe five? Possibly more.
I've had a sore throat all day. I stopped singing classical and opera since my mental breakdown but I would hate to lose my genuine voice. I'm going to invest in a trip to an ENT when possible and see if there's been any damage and if so, how to heal (if I can). I don't want to end up sounding like I've been smoking all my life.
[Discussion] How many calories do you guys have a day? Do you alternate/change it up every few days??
/u/narkreturn
Created: Fri Aug 17 22:44:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9894bl/how_many_calories_do_you_guys_have_a_day_do_you/
---
planning wisdom teeth extraction
/u/angelic-rose [š¹ 19F | 5ā6 | 127 | 20.41 | GW1 120]
Created: Fri Aug 17 22:34:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9892cx/planning_wisdom_teeth_extraction/
---
Earlier tonight I was thinking about when I wanted to schedule my wisdom teeth extraction for. I have to do this soon because I've already put it off and one of my wisdom teeth has been emerging. I put it off since I'm in college and need to plan my procedure/recovery around my classes and found out I couldn't get an appointment when I had the time.
Anyway, I'm leaving town again for winter break, making Thanksgiving break the only option because spring break is too far away. I was talking this through with my brother, who then said "but then you won't be able to eat Thanksgiving dinner!"
And then I realized.
I wouldn't be able to eat solid food. *On Thanksgiving.*
Sign me tf up. I'm calling it in this Monday.
[Help] How to force myself to believe I can high restrict in order to maintain a high activity level AND still lose?!
/u/EDthrowaway8888 [5'6 | CW 145.2 | BMI 23.3 | Weight Lost 20.6 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 22:18:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/988yzq/how_to_force_myself_to_believe_i_can_high/
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Iām annoyed that Iām agonizing over this. I want to be āhealthyā and want to have more balance in life. This past month Iāve felt so low energy and feel like my running performance is going down. Yet Iāve spent all day wondering if I should increase my calories so I have more energy but also feeling terrified because...I CANāT eat more. As it is, if I eat above 900 I feel like I have to exercise enough to have less than 900 net calorie intake, ideally 700 net or less. Why can we be so reasonable and rational when weāre encouraging or helping others but when it comes to ourselves weāre completely insane? My BMR is 1490 plus activity, I could easily eat 1,200 and still lose at a decent rate but all I see is myself ballooning. Iām doing a half marathon next month and at this rate, I feel like Iāll be walking. So much training down the drain if I canāt get myself back on track.
[Rant/Rave] (rave) I just found all the calories counts for the dining halls at my college
/u/peachypetrina
Created: Fri Aug 17 22:11:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/988xgz/rave_i_just_found_all_the_calories_counts_for_the/
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Iām about to start my freshman year of college and of course Iām super concerned about gaining the āfreshman 15ā especially with all you can eat dining halls, but this will make it so much easier! Now I can also pick out food ahead of time because I can see the menu for that day and Iāll know all the calories! Iām also blessed because my school has a lot of vegetarian/healthy options which tend to be lower calories. Hallelujah!
Skipped dinner
/u/frantrum
Created: Fri Aug 17 22:09:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/988x2f/skipped_dinner/
---
I made a whole packet of ramen and felt grossed out by it when it was finished. I threw it away and still havenāt eaten. Iām not even hungry so should I feel badly?
I've ate over 1200 for a couple days and I'm freaking out D:
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Fri Aug 17 21:50:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/988sty/ive_ate_over_1200_for_a_couple_days_and_im/
---
Logically I know 1300-1500 is at the very least maintenance, and that can't be a bad thing once in awhile. I know I've been extra busy/active so I probably needed more. But here I am freaking out because 1200 is my absolute upper limit, I feel so bloated and full and disgusting. I didn't even eat junk I just happen to have ate a whole avocado, and A few more grapes than I meant. Ugh I hate how illogical ED voice is.
[Discussion] Weird things you crave when restricting/fasting?
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 21:40:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/988qtz/weird_things_you_crave_when_restrictingfasting/
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Pickle juice. I canāt explain it. I mean I also crave pickles, but thatās normal for me. I specifically crave (and drink) the juice. Really gross, but Iām not that sorry.... Iām assuming itās my body craving sodium which makes sense but man, Iāve never craved anything so specifically and intensely. Does anyone else have weird stuff they have notice they crave when restricting/fasting?
[Help] I took too many laxatives and now my anxiety is making me feel like Iām dying.
/u/conuretrash
Created: Fri Aug 17 21:19:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/988map/i_took_too_many_laxatives_and_now_my_anxiety_is/
---
Iāve taken around five servings of Miralax and six pill laxatives over the last three days and have been having more fiber and water. I havenāt ever tried laxatives before like this but I gained 4 pounds overnight and Iāve been only eating under 500 cals for awhile so I know itās crap and I need to weigh less. I barely went to the bathroom from all those medicines, thus I took more and more. A few minutes ago I was laying in bed and a horrible pain overtook my stomach. I went to the ER for similar pains last year and back then they scanned my body and did tests and told me it was just gas. But it just feels like my insides are about to explode. Iām in the bathroom now and itās not as bad/it comes and goes. I know itās gas and Iām being silly but I need support to shut up my anxiety. I didnāt even have that many laxatives but I mentally I feel like Iām dying.
[Rant/Rave] goddamn crazy rich Asians triggered me so hard
/u/aworkinprogress_
Created: Fri Aug 17 21:12:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/988kqt/goddamn_crazy_rich_asians_triggered_me_so_hard/
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every single girl in that movie was like bmi 15
and just generally reminded me of how inadequate I am
[Other] Anyone else feel like theyāre drowning? Drama, job stress, and a big anxiety pit
/u/no_worms_onthebed
Created: Fri Aug 17 20:45:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/988e7n/anyone_else_feel_like_theyre_drowning_drama_job/
---
Iām finally going to go get treatment next week (I REALLY donāt want to go, but this shit is getting out of hand). Iām terrified. I donāt want to gain weight- I already feel like a goddamn cow (no offense to cows).
Iām going through some relationship drama and some roommate drama on the side. I got fired a few days ago after putting in my two weeks notice. I already have a new gig lined up but as yaāll can see, I love piling on all the stress all at once š¬
The relationship drama I donāt want to get into, but the roommate stuff I can kinda talk about. I have two roommates (a couple, R and B) and R cheated on the B. And because of me telling my bf a detail that B was not privy to, R is pissed off at me because she found out I told my bf... I guess B told her that he found out. Complex, I know. I shouldnāt have said anything but now Iām just in this hole of self loathing. And SURPRISE Iām turning it back onto myself with.... you guessed it.... Laxative abuse! Hooraaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
Anyone else dig themselves these fun little holes of depression and anxiety? Like I should know how to deal with my fucking emotions without resorting to this- Iām 25. But it all comes back to food. Or not having it/ not allowing myself to have it. Or peeing out my butt because of it.
Happy Friday guys
ED and pregnancy
/u/DietKokeHead
Created: Fri Aug 17 20:16:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9887ai/ed_and_pregnancy/
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So I'm about 5 months pregnant and I'm honestly having such a hard time coping. I have an 18 month old son already and I had just lost the baby weight when we got pregnant again.
I was starting to feel good about my body again. I was feeling strong. I was looking forward to weaning and having my body be just mine again and not have to worry about balancing my calories to keep up milk supply.
We were (and still are at the courthouse) getting married in October, and I had ordered a dress 2 sizes down, and was so close to being able to lace it up. Now we're pushing our big wedding/reception to June so I may or may not have time to fit into it again (due in December).
The kicker is that this pregnancy was totally planned and wanted, and I feel selfish for focusing on my weight and body image and not appreciating it enough. But watching myself expand and watching my weight go up fills me with dread instead of the happiness I felt with my previous pregnancy.
We also found out that we're expecting a daughter. I don't want her to grow up emulating my behavior surrounding food and my body. But my mind keeps telling me that once I give birth Ill have the freedom to eat as little as possible, and nobody will question it because of course that mom with 2 under 2 is too stressed out to eat!
I don't know how to feel about anything. My midwife has me eating 2000 calories a day and it's torture. I'm doing what I need to do to keep her and myself healthy and I hate that it feels like such a hard thing to do.
Can anybody relate? I feel like I'm drowning.
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel super guilty for how they view their friends?
/u/ihate-chicken
Created: Fri Aug 17 20:14:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9886wv/dae_feel_super_guilty_for_how_they_view_their/
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I think my friends are super beautiful, each in their unique way but I feel like my ED makes me constantly analyze their bodies... the good the bad and the ugly. I often compare myself to them and am envious but sometimes I become hypercritical. I feel terribly guilty when I do this but I canāt help it.
I also feel extremely guilty and like a bad influence whenever I say Iām fat or need to lose weight because some of my friends are shorter than me and weigh more than me and they know I weigh less than them. I donāt want them to develop the same demons Iām struggling with...
My mother just told me āyou look great, you donāt have fat ankles anymore!ā
/u/sonospaventato
Created: Fri Aug 17 20:10:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98860j/my_mother_just_told_me_you_look_great_you_dont/
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Wtf mom, I wasnāt aware I was ever overweight enough that my ankles were fat. But thanks for giving me one more body part to check every morning.
[Help] I'm honestly really scared
/u/Nutellapples
Created: Fri Aug 17 20:03:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9884by/im_honestly_really_scared/
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I'm feeling really conflicted about this. I was watching a video and someone had said that late twenties/early thirties is when people with ED's start to die . I mean ... what if I live till then and I have my life together and then as I'm about to do something great with my life I... die??but the other part of me wants to drop to a weight so low that by the end of next year I'll be dead... a part of me is just like 'I dont care anymore, my purpose in life now is to die' . Whenever I get one of these ' but what if life can be better' moments I also end up binging and feeling like shit. But that's besides my point , which is that ... i just feel so conflicted , i dont want to get better that's for sure and I do want to die. But at the same time what if one day I am finally doing something amazing with my life and then i drop dead before I'm done?
[Discussion] DAE save their burned calories for special events?
/u/NachoVodka
Created: Fri Aug 17 19:48:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9880sc/dae_save_their_burned_calories_for_special_events/
---
I've been saving mine for a local food festival, how about you?
[Discussion] My eyes are so puffy
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Fri Aug 17 19:42:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/987z54/my_eyes_are_so_puffy/
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Any remedies? BTW popcorn is my least favorite purge..?
:( my face hurts but my eyes are in so much pain and are noticeably small due to it. It's an everyday thing but tonight I really need to sooth my eyes.
This is going to kill me
/u/IdidntChooseThis [5'11| CW: 121 | LW: 116 lb | bmi: 16.34]
Created: Fri Aug 17 19:31:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/987wsm/this_is_going_to_kill_me/
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I've been undereating for years now, partially recovered at some point because medication reasons, and then this summer I relapsed due to stress I guess idk. But It's been months since I've eaten 3 meals in a day or at a non-calorie deficit because I just haven't wanted to eat. It's been such a struggle, throughout this time I've been drinking more and smoking more and its killed my appetite, but now I can't even eat a meal day without having to lie down and deal with stomach pain and other issues and I'm once again at a weight that I never wanted to be at again. I look awful. i'm legitimately too thin and I'm starting to see my body for what it is. It isn't fat. There's nothing to it. I'm flesh and bone but my flesh is eating itself or just dying and my bones are all that's going to be left. The crows and coyotes won't find any nourishment to eat from my body, only the maggots and flies will.
And yeah, I shouldn't drink or smoke, but coping mechanisms, and I'm starting to realize that this might be this horrid disease finally catching up to my body, and while I was laying in my bed dealing with cramps I realized that this might actually be the year that this disease kills me. I've probably shot my liver to shit, my kidneys suck, I've treated my body like hell and now I'm going to pay for it because I can't get help to fix it and I don't know how to do it myself.
Fuck. This is going to be a really shitty way to die, all feeding tubes and hospital gowns and shitting myself in front of nurses who don't get it. Fuck I'm only 21. I didn't deserve this disease. Get help. This disease isn't fucking pretty, it isn't an aesthetic, it's going to kill you just like it's about to kill me.
Guilt in Recovery/Treatment?
/u/loveforall13
Created: Fri Aug 17 19:30:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/987wf5/guilt_in_recoverytreatment/
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Hi everyone. This is my first time posting here. I am new to the whole admitting I have an ED thing, and I have been in treatment/therapy for the past few months. Physically, I've been doing pretty well. (TMI: I've been getting spotting, but still have yet to get my period.) Mentally, it's been a struggle. This is one of the hardest things I've gone through. I leave for my sophomore year of college in a few days; last year, during freshman year, was when my ED got bad/became existent, and that's when I lost a ton of weight. I wasn't speaking to my therapist and just became so numb to everything. This year, I will be speaking to both my nutritionist and my therapist weekly; they will be able to monitor me and make sure I'm doing well. I know this sounds bad, but I feel scared about "getting better" -- being able to eat more fear foods, getting my period, having the ability to do cardio, not always having to be super picky when eating. My ED has been a constant in my life and I don't know what I'll be without it. I'm really excited for a life without ED as it can benefit me in so many ways...but at the same time, I'm afraid that if I don't have it, I'll gain weight, which I'm terribly afraid of. For me, I don't know if it's possible to be skinny and not have an ED.
Sorry this is so random. TL;DR: I feel guilty for getting better and miss how skinny I was earlier on in my ED. Getting better is scary to me.
Any help/advice is greatly appreciated.
does anyone else have lots of non-scale goals?
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 108|16.9|UGW: 105|F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 18:56:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/987onp/does_anyone_else_have_lots_of_nonscale_goals/
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for me, my current non-scale goal that i'm obsessing over for some reason is to be able to wrap my hands all the way around my upper thighs. i can get my hands all the way around about 5 inches above my knee, but i just want to get them up a little higher. i also want to lose a bit more on my waist, and i want to be able to wrap my thumb and middle finger completely around my ankles, but i have shortish fingers so that's kind of a pipe dream. i have a lot of numerical goals, but does anyone else have a ton of these more abstract goals?
I've come home from college and my parents are suspicious of my eating habits, what do I do?
/u/PM-MEYOURDICKPICS
Created: Fri Aug 17 18:50:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/987n8b/ive_come_home_from_college_and_my_parents_are/
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I was so hungry today so after throwing up (due to lack of vitamins? Idk what but I felt dizzy for three days before the throw up) I was crying and told them I've been starving myself and they didn't notice and I want food (they usually have meals without me, they were planning to drop me off and spend their day doing what they want). I blame this on lack of food I get so easily mad when I don't eat. So we went to eat and god it felt so amazing it was the first time in probably 10 years I finished a whole meal and didn't need to take it home
So we ate together and now I'm afraid they'll be suspicious, tips?
Introduction.
/u/LungsAblaze
Created: Fri Aug 17 18:47:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/987mmv/introduction/
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Hello!
I am a 16 year old boy from Sweden, you can call me Lungs.
I used to be in the proana community on Tumblr but after a couple months I fell out of it and ever since then I have gained about 4 kilos of weight (8pounds) and now I when I go back to school I thought it'd be a perfect opportunity for me to get my weight down again and hopefully even lower than before.
so starting on 22 august I will post daily updates on my calorie intake, weight and such.
If you have any questions then don't be afraid to ask.
Current Weight: 54kg (119pounds)
Height: 174cm (5'7)
BMI: 17.8
High weight
/u/holakitty123
Created: Fri Aug 17 18:42:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/987ldz/high_weight/
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I reached the height weight of my life thus far the other night: 124.5. I'm a shorty (4'11), so that is actually quite a pudgy weight for me- only 3 pounds from an overweight bmi.
It's been a combination of eating like complete shit/ starting a medication that can cause weight gain.
Back in March I was down to 103- my low weight this year. Currently, I'm sitting at a solid 120.2, binge drinking coffee, chain smoking, and lustily dreaming of getting back down to 103.
I'm looking to chat with someone to help encourage me in restricting/ not binging. 103 seems so far away right now, but living at 120 feels impossible.
[Discussion] āmy 600 lb lifeā
/u/2ndfirstday [5'5" | C 103.6 | G 95 | -1 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 18:22:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/987gmz/my_600_lb_life/
---
Watched an episode and a half earlier out of curiosity.
I dont really want to be insensitive, but im genuinely curious how people can literally afford to be fat.
There was one girl who they showed going grocery shopping, and they bought so much food (mostly junk food, which is pricey). One guy was a recluse and had to call for the ambulance to help him up whenever he had fallen. They have frequent doctors appointments. Both episodes I saw ended in them getting gastric bypass. Itās an extremely costly lifestyle. And from the look of it, neither of them were working?
How do they afford so much food and care? I work 40 hours a week, buy very little food, and budget like crazy. Itās still difficult for me to pay my bills.
[Rant/Rave] DAE get jealous of store mannequins?
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 119 | gw: 115| gw: 110 | ugw: 107|F|19]
Created: Fri Aug 17 17:56:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/987a64/dae_get_jealous_of_store_mannequins/
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Even though everyone says Iām their size. I just see their legs and wallow in my fat ones. They have the flattest stomachs and mines all gross and flabby. Idk I just get really insecure over them, which is probably absurd because they arenāt real. But their legs are just perfect and theyāre so small. So triggering.
Iāve also noticed I tend to unintentionally stare and girls that are smaller than me. Itās the same anxiety I feel when I look at mannequins. I just get so jealous and feel so bad about myself.
[Rant/Rave] I wanna write a screenplay about EDs but ...
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 | 119 | gw: 115| gw: 110 | ugw: 107|F|19]
Created: Fri Aug 17 17:52:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98792h/i_wanna_write_a_screenplay_about_eds_but/
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I feel like itāll be shit. Iām new to screenplay writing and I want to practice so write about something I know. I just feel like itāll go down terribly.
Canāt fit into any of my pants š
/u/rotting_the_crown
Created: Fri Aug 17 17:45:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9877f6/cant_fit_into_any_of_my_pants/
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Well if this isnāt triggering, I donāt know what. Seriously, none of my pants except the pair I wear to work and I wear those every day because Iām gross. I was trying to go for casual cute tonight but nope. Fuck me, right?
Iāve been failing at restricting (thereās always that āIāll start after X event happensā mentality) but now Iām dead set on it. Also my 10 year high school reunion is coming up.
Goals:
- lost enough weight around my wrists so that I donāt have to choose between hole 3 and 4 on this beautiful watch my dad got me for me birthday.
- fit into this bra that says itās the right size but definitely is too small. Beautiful but awkward sizing, thanks Naja.
- be borderline underweight at 111 lb.
Sigh. Just needed to vent. Have a happy Friday yāall (in the US) š
I keep feeling like I donāt restrict enough
/u/blingbling-bitch
Created: Fri Aug 17 17:43:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9876vb/i_keep_feeling_like_i_dont_restrict_enough/
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Seeing the posts on here about how some of yall eat 500 cals a day or even less makes me feel like such a failure. I canāt restrict below 1460 cals and most days I go above (binge eater).
I know that being tall i canāt have the same calorie restrictions but it makes me unmotivated when I feel like I could do more...
For the reference iām about 185cm for a girl :/
I hate that I got a McFlurry today...
/u/blingbling-bitch
Created: Fri Aug 17 17:36:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/987523/i_hate_that_i_got_a_mcflurry_today/
---
So today I was doing so well, kept all my calories in line and stuff, ate homemade food for my work break... and then I decided to get a McFlurry... I got a snack size M&M one which is 410cals... after eating it all I am disgusted with myself and my terrible choices, angry that I wasted 410cals on THAT and on top of it all my mind is already feeling clouded from the sugar rush :( Ugh now iām still gonna be hungry tonight ... š why do i keep failing over and over
[Rant/Rave] Got my exam results; I screw up everything so what's the point
/u/throwaway285286
Created: Fri Aug 17 17:19:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9870sm/got_my_exam_results_i_screw_up_everything_so/
---
I got my A level results yesterday. I got A*AB; one grade off due to one question on one paper due to one word being misunderstood. Bye bye Cambridge.
Everyone I meet tells me I'm intelligent. It's pretty much the only thing people notice about me. And yet when I need to prove it on paper I can't do it because I'm such a fuck up. Now I have a sum total of nothing going for me, so I might as well just end it. But I'm too much of a pussy to do it quickly so I guess I'll just self destruct, because why not
I'm sick of underperforming, so I guess I'll over-perform and just keep going with this until I die
[Rant/Rave] Got Judged Buying Water Pills
/u/Rickticia [5'2| 124.4 lbs |23.57|-25.6|GW3:120|21F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 16:52:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/986tms/got_judged_buying_water_pills/
---
I know you all say they arenāt judging when you go to the store, but it totally happened to me today, and I was completely mortified.
I went into CVS to buy some generic water pills, and as the male cashier rung them up, he said, āWater pills. Interesting.ā
I told them they were female stuff (like to reduce period bloat but I didnāt say that), and he responded, āWhatās female stuff about them?ā
I told him I didnāt want to into detail, so he just looked at my ID for a weirdly long time and rang them up, saying, āWell, youāve clearly done your research.ā
Sheesh, why canāt people mind their own business? Iām sure he knows whatās up, but he shouldāve kept it to himself.
online shopping
/u/bitchybananabread
Created: Fri Aug 17 16:42:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/986r06/online_shopping/
---
first of all, i'm really upset writing this and this is just me venting, so unless you want to listen to some girl drowning in self pity, you definitely don't have to read this lmao
i'm a senior in high school and my friends and i were going to go to homecoming, and it was gonna be my first school dance ever. a couple of my friends had other friend groups wanting to go with them, but we'd all decided to go together, but i let them know that i had ordered a romper online to wear (our hoco isn't formal whatsoever), and if it didn't fit i wouldn't be able to go as i had nothing else to wear. so basically all my friends were putting their plans on hold to see if my fat ass could fit into a romper lmao
it came today and i tried it on and it fits just..not in the way i wanted it to. like everything else, it looks so much cuter on the 5'11 100lb model, and i am just so fucking angry at myself for thinking that i could pull something like a romper off. it's not even a particularly revealing one, fwiw; just shorts and a tie-front tee. and yet i still look repulsive in it. it was clearly made for someone with smaller boobs and skinnier arms and legs and a flat stomach.
i just look so fucking stupid in it, like a fat girl who thinks she's skinny and shows up to the party in something revealing and meant for a thin girl, and everyone judges her the entire night. i know if i showed up wearing it, everyone would stare at me like i'm fucking crazy for showing up in something not made for my body type. i'm so angry at myself for being stupid and getting my hopes up and letting my friends down and ughhh i fucking *hate* online shopping.
'Freshers 15' - an unofficial plan
/u/Judo_Noob_PTX [5'1" | CW: 126 | BMI: 23.8 | WL: 24 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 16:34:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/986oza/freshers_15_an_unofficial_plan/
---
I plan to try and lose 15 pounds instead of gain it. It's the first time I will be living away from home and I'm very excited. Going self catered at university means I can finally, finally, have complete control over my eating.
[Discussion] DAE feel like their ED was glamorous when younger but now understand itās complete bullshit?
/u/GloomyCup [5'11" | 135 | 19 | 30 | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 17 16:24:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/986mab/dae_feel_like_their_ed_was_glamorous_when_younger/
---
Either I was proud of my eating disorder in my teens and twenties or didnāt realize that my eating disorder was bad until now.
[Rant/Rave] I started to binge but stopped ??!!?!??!?!??!??
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 177.2 | 30.9 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 16:11:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/986iy5/i_started_to_binge_but_stopped/
---
Around 5 o'clock this evening I felt a binge coming on. I'd had 239 calories so far today, and my boyfriend (lives with me) was getting ready to go have a beer with his friends and I just knew once I was alone, I was going to eat a giant pot of spaghetti and meatballs, a pan of pizza bites, a box of macaroni and cheese, an entire container of cool whip with chocolate syrup, a grilled cheese, and guzzle all of his full sugar soda in the fridge. And then I'd purge until my hands were shaking and my eyes were full of burst blood vessels.
And instead
I fetched the almost empty box of Cheez-Its cracker chips and measured some out on my food scale. A full serving is 29 grams and that is EXACTLY how much was left in the box. I felt like it was a sign, I swear.
I ate the Cheez-Its (140) and waited a little while. I still felt like binging, so I had a cup of the rice pilaf (240) that boyfriend had for dinner. He's a bomb cook, and it was still warm and there was a huge container left over.
But that's all I ate. My total for the day after that is 624, and I really feel full and like I'm back in control. This is pretty major for me - usually a few days into restricting I start to feel like this, but it generally ends with 6 pounds of pasta instead.
Just wanted to share. I hope you all had a victory today <3
[Tip] Been doing the RubThenRun diet for 3 weeks now and it's changed my life.
/u/NewbieWithARuby
Created: Fri Aug 17 16:11:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/986ipa/been_doing_the_rubthenrun_diet_for_3_weeks_now/
---
I'd been struggling to keep up on my goals, weakness was seeping in when I remembered hearing about a diet someone I knew did years ago.
Whenever he was hungry he would drink a glass of water and then go and have a *good time* with himself.
So I thought I'd give it a try and it works like nothing else, so I drink a pint of water, go and *beat out the bush fire* haha, jk, there's no bush, can't have that weighing down the scales, or I break out the rubbery friend if I'm feeling adventurous and this solves it like 95% of the time, the other 5% I go for a half mile run flat out, then repeat if I need too, which is like never.
You guys have helped me through some hard times, just wanted to share what I can!
[Rant/Rave] Grocery stores & birthday parties
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_ [5'6 | CW 130.8 | GW 120 | UGW 100| F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 16:04:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/986gyi/grocery_stores_birthday_parties/
---
Well I finally went into a real grocery store today (normally I go into small boutique /healthy food stores) & I wanted to die. I can't believe I felt so food repulsed. I use to love grocery shopping (especially at whole foods) & seeing interesting fruits & chocolates & beer & wine & ect. I could barely finish the shopping list. Tomorrow is my sister's birthday family dinner. I planned on fasting due to a house sitting gig but now I feel sick if I join them to eat or like a huge jerk if I don't attend. We don't have the best family relationship & I think she might have BED. I don't like the person I ambecoming.
[Rant/Rave] "We could tell you're eating healthier so bought you a bunch of fruit and vegetables"
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Fri Aug 17 15:54:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/986e2y/we_could_tell_youre_eating_healthier_so_bought/
---
Awww thanks mom and dad! Now I just have like 10 pounds of fruit to eat, all my favourites. Peaches, plums, black grapes, mango, strawberries! :D and romaine, cucumbers, radishes. I guess I'm going to be eating fruit as meals this week haha, I'm just happy they didn't buy me junk food!
[Rant/Rave] I want to visit my mom but....
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 15:54:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/986e0k/i_want_to_visit_my_mom_but/
---
I am so incredibly lonely and really not in a great place. Relapsing hard, just broke up with my emotionally abusive bf on/off boyfriend of 2 years, and my best friend just moved away. My mom lives an hour away and so much of me wants to go stay with her but I canāt because every time I stay with her I binge. I wish I could trust myself but I donāt. Ugh I donāt know when to do. I feel so alone and I donāt want to spend the weekend starving and alone and miserable.
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend is triggering me
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Fri Aug 17 15:51:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/986dd0/my_boyfriend_is_triggering_me/
---
When my boyfriend and I got together, I was 100 and he was somewhere around 150.
He doesnāt have a diagnosed eating disorder, but you know how it goes. Us that have been diagnosed can see disordered eating behaviors from a mile away. Both of us lived on cigarettes and snacks (both acting nonchalant about the small amounts we were eating, hoping it wouldnāt be brought up) unless we had a date night for the first couple months, and when I got pregnant, I started eating a normal amount of food and increased my calorie intake for my son, and because I was eating so much, it made it easier for him to eat with me since it was there and in reach.
Throughout the pregnancy, Iāve come clean about my anorexia diagnosis and Iāve confided in him when I felt at my worst. He doesnāt ābelieve in disordersā so he doesnāt really take it seriously. His mom used to force him to do weight watchers as a kid, and so he just thinks that ādietsā are normal, and staying with 0 WW points is okay. My calories are his points, I.e.
Anyways, the past few weeks, heās not been eating more than a snack in a day and Iāve caught on and brought it up numerous times. I told him that if I HAVE to eat, so does he and a microwaveable pizza a day doesnāt count.
Itās gotten to the point where heās the same size he was when we started dating, and itās super noticeable to me. That itself is triggering. But at all of my OB appointments, he uses their scale to weigh himself after Iām weighed by my doctor. Yesterday, he announced that he has lost 15 pounds and my heart shattered a bit. I want him to be healthy for him, but I need him to be healthy for me because this is really hard to do alone.
He just doesnāt understand that heās driving me crazy. I count the calories he eats, I treat him like heās my own disordered self and itās really crappy.
Ughhhhhh this is hard
[Help] has anyone found ways to deal with the mood swings?
/u/bmalaur [5'4" | 24F | HW: 127 | CW: 103 | LW: 85]
Created: Fri Aug 17 15:49:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/986cr3/has_anyone_found_ways_to_deal_with_the_mood_swings/
---
basically the only reason my bf notices when i'm restricting is that even 1-2 days of it results in erratic angry mood swings. are there any realistic ways to minimize / cope with this other than eating?
Bumping into old friends
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 120.0 | +12.2 | F | G: 95]
Created: Fri Aug 17 15:42:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/986aww/bumping_into_old_friends/
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I bumped into my ex's roommate last weekend. Last time I saw him was 20 years ago. We were passing each other and he started staring at me, then said that he thinks we know each other. He said that I lost weight and looked really good and that I haven't aged a bit. We exchanged phone numbers :)
I also had brunch with someone I last saw 4 years ago. She had a hard time recognizing me. She also said that I lost weight and look good and that "I no longer have a bubble butt, not that I was fat before".
I've gained roughly 12.2 pounds from LW and I feel like shit about it. I am extremely out of control with my food intake. I've tried so many things to stop gaining weight but I can't seem to achieve any weight loss, only weight gain. Their compliments aren't helping!
I have eaten three beers today. š
/u/DinosaursAndStarStuf [5'3.5| 106 | 18.5| F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 15:37:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9869dh/i_have_eaten_three_beers_today/
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You guys. I am having the travel day FROM HELL. Fuckin' Dale was the most incompetent Uber driver I've ever had, TSA decided my crotch looked suspicious on their back-scatter scan so they violated my ladybits and booty in front of everyone (just a SUPER humiliating pat-down, no cavity search, thank the gods). I'm wearing fucking yoga pants with no panties and it's not TTOTM. Like, wtf??? Where would I be hiding something?! Why does my junk look suspect?! Then my damn flight was delayed and I missed my connection. Then my connection was delayed so I'm still at the fuckin' airport! Shoulda just driven 10hrs like I was planning to before my dad got all overprotective and bought me a plane ticket. I'm 31 ffs.
Best part? I'm on my way to a fucking funeral.
Buuuuut I was super happy with my weight this morning and all I've eaten today is 3 beers. Plus, I burned like 82,364kcal with all my airport crying today. Win, win, win, amirite? Fuckin' love you guys.
Didn't realize how much time I spent eating until I took it away
/u/mabver321
Created: Fri Aug 17 15:36:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98691k/didnt_realize_how_much_time_i_spent_eating_until/
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I didn't realize how much extra time I gained while fasting. How do you guys pass the time?
I get to school to school and lose weight
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 120 |GW 115| F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 15:14:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9863ae/i_get_to_school_to_school_and_lose_weight/
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So much walking, no one watching my meals. I plan to eat 600-700 calories and Iāll get to my ugw in like 6 weeks. Which sucks but maybe sooner cuz I can exercise.
Actually Screw This
/u/sadbean17 [158 | 57.8kg | 24 | 18F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 15:10:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9861zx/actually_screw_this/
---
Please flair as Rant/Rave, I'm on mobile.
Fuck eating disorders, I actually hate this so so much. When I first started this whole thing, 16 year old me was like "hell yeah, starving yourself to lose weights a great fucking time", almost two years later I can barely eat anything without feeling guilt, I can't go one day eating normally and not counting calories, I can't stop fixating on my body and checking it in every reflection, I'm constantly comparing myself and putting myself down. It's so exhaustingly and I hate it, yet I can't let go of it because it's addictive. It's so shit.
Sorry for the small rant lmao, but I'm over it. Just to clarify I haven't even been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but it's nearly been two years with this so I'm pretty sure I do lmao, not to like self diagnose or anything
[Discussion] what do you guys eat at subway?
/u/fortunate-foolx [f/5'1/cw:whale/gw:dead]
Created: Fri Aug 17 14:53:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/985x64/what_do_you_guys_eat_at_subway/
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being forced to eat there tonight.
[Goal] so I hit my last GW before my UGW. I am 120 and finally underweight again. 10lbs to go!
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Fri Aug 17 14:52:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/985x20/so_i_hit_my_last_gw_before_my_ugw_i_am_120_and/
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going to eat today and tomorrow (400-600kcals) and then start another 100 hour fast on Sunday! that means i should be halfway or more to my UGW by next weekend. wish me luck!
[Rant/Rave] A sign from the ED gods!
/u/AllAnchorsAway
Created: Fri Aug 17 14:52:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/985wtn/a_sign_from_the_ed_gods/
---
So I was really craving chocolate at work and my coworker has just brought some Hershey's Kisses to put in my candy jar. (I despise this thing, but it's nice to see other people enjoy it.) I decide that I can handle eating just one. They only have 22 calories so I didn't think it would throw me off too much and I genuinely thought I could eat one without turning it into a binge.
As I unwrap it, I drop it. And then suddenly I wasn't craving chocolate so bad anymore.
It's honestly a miracle that I haven't been having such strong cravings for sweets lately... Hopefully I can kepe it up.
[Help] Binged again - at my wit's end, please help me :(
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Fri Aug 17 14:43:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/985u8j/binged_again_at_my_wits_end_please_help_me/
---
I went for some days, maybe even two or three weeks without binging. But then I just did. Massively. And it happened SO FAST, I devoured like, I don't even know, 6 big cereal bars, a whole package of cereal, all the nuts and everything in my fridge and then purged, then ate some more.
I don't even know why! Whenever I think I have it under control, I suddenly snap. I binge so much that my eyesight becomes blurry, probably because my body can't handle the sugar, and I'm always on the verge of fainting because of the insulin/blood sugar spike. I swear I might have given myself diabetes already just because of this.
I've red Brain over binge, but am still binging. That was supposed the cure-it-all for everyone, but apparently not for me.
And whenever I binge, I overthink what I've been doing and think 'Oh! it was because I was low restricting!', so I high restrict. Then I binge, and think 'Oh! it was because I was high restricting/eating so much/eating too many carbs/eating too little carbs/focusing on my eating/tracking calories/not tracking calories/etc.', and change the plan, but it never stops the binges. Even when I eat a lot like I've been lately, actually eating more than usual and including fun food and treats and having more than enough room left for more food but not even wanting anymore. What the hell?
Please, can someone help me? What the heck am I supposed to do when nothing is working? I still have weight to lose, and tomorrow I'm visiting family and I'm SOO dreading it because this binge scared me so much today and they'll make me eat so much there and it could trigger many more binges. I don't have the nerves for this. My exams are coming up soon and I really don't have the freaking energy to plan and think and do, and even if I don't restrict at all and eat 'intuitively', I binge. I feel like if I purge one more time, my heart will absolutely give out.
And no, I can't get professional help or anything like that, please don't suggest this :(
[Rant/Rave] Didn't get the job, must be because I'm fat.
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Fri Aug 17 14:38:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/985stm/didnt_get_the_job_must_be_because_im_fat/
---
I quit my current job because my supervisor was just really awful to be around (and her constant talk about dieting and fasting triggered my relaspe) and now I just got turned down for the one job I was really excited about. While logical me knows it must have been for other reasons, my brain has decided it must be because I'm just too far for anyone to want to work with me.
[Rant/Rave] yāknow... being broke makes fasting/restricting a hell of a lot easier.
/u/fairshine [5ā5 | 129 bs | š: fairshine]
Created: Fri Aug 17 14:25:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/985p6g/yknow_being_broke_makes_fastingrestricting_a_hell/
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because of some unforeseen veterinary expenses (stupid cat) i am on god the brokest i have ever been in my LIFE rn and at first it was annoying but now.....
i want doritos and a veggie burger and fries w veganaise and āchickenā nuggets and stir fry and all sorts of shit
but when you have literally zero dollars
sleep for dinner is delicious fam š
My friend said I'm a liar and attention seeking
/u/LillyLovatic
Created: Fri Aug 17 14:25:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/985oxt/my_friend_said_im_a_liar_and_attention_seeking/
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I messaged my friend who asked how I've been lately, and I answered her honestly. I have been making sure I eat less than 900 calories a day, and if I do eat a full 900, I try and burn off at least 200. I feel fat all the time and I hate myself. It's not a diet, because I don't have control over it.
She told me it's a diet, a phase and I'm just attention seeking. That just made it worse. Yesterday I ate 924 calories, and worked out long enough to make it around 500. I'm 13 and 106 pounds. Sorry for the long post, but I AM frustrated that my friend thinks I'm seeking attention. She's the only one I've been comfortable enough to share everything with, including my self harm. She's been great keeping a secret, but not so great at keeping this friendship. But I'm too scared to let her go in case she tells everybody what I told her.
Bye for now,
Abbi
(My username says Lilly, but that's a LONG story!)
[Other] Amazing line from Bojack Horseman that is relevant here
/u/Scarab-Beetle
Created: Fri Aug 17 13:55:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/985fyd/amazing_line_from_bojack_horseman_that_is/
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What was that? Sorry I couldnāt hear you over the sound of my calories not metabolizing.
Made me think of a binge episode and someone asking me why Iām eating so much and then I respond with that.
[Help] im sure this has been asked millions of times
/u/impractically-me
Created: Fri Aug 17 13:54:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/985frp/im_sure_this_has_been_asked_millions_of_times/
---
but what are the best calorie tracking apps? im sorry i know this has probably been asked quite a bit
I can't stop bingeing
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 85 lbs | 16.1 | fat bingeing shit]
Created: Fri Aug 17 13:43:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/985cew/i_cant_stop_bingeing/
---
I am close to my hw. I am desperate and sometimes suicidal. Can someone who has gotten through a severe binge-cycle before give me some tips.
[Help] How to break it to the parents?
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 45 kg | 18F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 12:56:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/984ybn/how_to_break_it_to_the_parents/
---
Hey. I canāt take it anymore. Just had one of the worst b/p episodes of late and thought to myself, if I were just a bit more depressed and not so fat, I might just off myself right now while Iām alone in the house.
But I wouldnāt. I *couldnāt*. Plans for my first year of uni are finally falling into place after a month of stress and confusion.
But I need to tell my parents. The pain, the misery is beginning to trump the embarrassment and shame. My mother already knows about the depression.
My SO said if I didnāt tell them by Sunday evening, he would send my father an e-mail himself. Itās not what either of us wants, but itās what I need.
So any suggestions for broaching the topic or explaining? Iām still so fucking scared that my mother will be so disappointed and disgusted and sheāll think Iām being ridiculous. But I donāt want them to keep me from the gym. I donāt want them to stop me from purging. I donāt want them to stop me from fasting for the next month.
To add to this, Iām leaving for Germany again in a couple of weeks for uni. Not even enough time to bother with a therapist or counselling, too much stress already on our plates. I keep talking myself out of admitting everything to my parents.
Please. Help.
How do I hop back on the restriction train??
/u/Ekawa [Height 5'3 | CW 110 | -55 |F/22]
Created: Fri Aug 17 12:27:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/984prv/how_do_i_hop_back_on_the_restriction_train/
---
Iām at a loss. I was restricting really well but Iāve just been nonstop binging and purging for the past two weeks. I donāt think Iāve gained more than 3-4 pounds at the most (donāt have a scale) but I CANNOT get back to restricting. Iāll b/p a few times in a day and then even after that Iāll eat again and then just digest that shit cuz I canāt puke anymore and Iām going to/am gaining weight. I know that to get back into the swing of things I need just ONE day of planned, successful restricting but a single piece of unplanned fear food and Iām binging and giving up on losing weight.
[Rant/Rave] I resent my boyfriend so much
/u/floats-with-fairies
Created: Fri Aug 17 12:27:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/984pku/i_resent_my_boyfriend_so_much/
---
When we met I was 10 lbs away from my gw. Then we started dating and he would insist on getting fast food after work every night and would get upset with me if I didn't eat with him.
I go through long cycles of high restriction and never-ending binges that can last months or years, which results in dramatic weight fluctuations. He triggered me to go into a binge cycle and I gained 30 lbs and I hate myself. It's lasted 11 months, but I'm hoping that I'm officially back in full restriction. I've dropped 5 lbs already, but I know as soon as he realizes that I'm losing weight he's going to freak out and try to make me eat more again.
I looked so tiny before and now I'm huge, just let me get back to where I was please.
[Rant/Rave] Screwed up Muchly Bigtime (TW Drug Mention)
/u/nymphlotus [64in | 157 | 26.9 | -23lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 17 12:13:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/984l8s/screwed_up_muchly_bigtime_tw_drug_mention/
---
The good news? Been maintaining around 157 for weeks now.
The bad news? Been maintaining around 157 for weeks now.
AaaAAaaAaahhHhhHhHHH
Basically the last few weeks have been...rocky. I'm not able to pay my bills, so I'm pretty much allowing myself to get evicted. I'm also off my meds (yay BPD) so my decision making is oh so spot on right now /s
When I finally made the tough call of "I gotta get evicted to go stay somewhere much cheaper to pay my other costs", I felt...liberated. No more drive by shootings, no more roaches and bed bugs, no more getting insanely overcharged for a complex where people let their dogs shit in the halls and the washers and dryers never fucking work and I have to call the cops about domestic violence once a month. Shitty way to go? Yeah. Fixable way to go? Also yeah.
So, in my temporary euphoria of realizing that I'd have a little extra money and time, I celebrated that weekend.
And then didn't fucking stop.
What started as one night of take out food and drinks with friends turned into a whole fucking week of take out food and hammering through $100 dollars of coke (bought on a drunk whim) in about 5 days. Only upside to that was all the packing I got done. Which again wasn't much because I got distracted every 10 fucking minutes because drugs.
And now? Now I've got a shift at work coming up at 430pm and I haven't goddamn slept in 24 hours and I just need to fucking fast and sleep but I can't. Because all I want to do is drink caffeine (because god why didn't I make the coke last longer?) and eat.
But what am I most stressed about? Not the fact that I made poor life choices and now I gotta own up to them. Oh, no, friends. I'm most stressed about the fact that my weight has plateaued and I'm not losing anymore. I have a perfectly structured plan for getting back on my feet financially. One small misstep put me in this financial hole, and the way to fix it will be easy to execute, although it will take a lot of time. The not easy part? Fucking getting back on the restriction train like a good girl and not stuffing my face aimlessly.
I want to light myself on fire right now.
[Help] Alcohol
/u/Sergosass
Created: Fri Aug 17 12:04:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/984is5/alcohol/
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What are the best foods to consume before drinking at the end of the day? Itās not gonna be anything being, just a glass of wine. I heard that my best bet is a lot of protein, but what about carbs and fats? I am away from home with little money and time, so is it safe to take some nuts and coffee for breakfast, a peach and a protein bar for lunch and cottage cheese with vegetables for dinner?
[Rant/Rave] Washed off my $15 face mask almost immediately because I got the sudden urge to weigh myself and could handle the idea of interference
/u/navillanavilla
Created: Fri Aug 17 11:53:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/984f7v/washed_off_my_15_face_mask_almost_immediately/
---
Lol
Worried People
/u/MrsConfused
Created: Fri Aug 17 11:29:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9848dw/worried_people/
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My Boyfriend and my therapist both get so Stern with me in their worry. It's fine, I dont feel bad and I dont want them to worry. I wish they would just let me be and accept that this is just what i want and need at the Moment and not try and pressure me into eating more
Iām sketchy as fuck and donāt care
/u/raspberryfleur [5'4 | 102 | 17.5 | -75 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 11:25:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98475z/im_sketchy_as_fuck_and_dont_care/
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My boss forced me to take a double shift. She wouldnāt let me out of her office until I signed the fucking waiver. Yes Iām aware I couldāve not signed. She was blocking the door and Iām still on probation until the 27th.
She brought in a surprise picnic which I thought would just be dinky stuff. Nope. Two huge bags of cheese bagels and a 50 pack of timbits. I donāt care how sketchy or weird I looked. I got up out of the break room. The last thing I need is to be forced to have food on top of these forced shifts. Itās not even food I like. Fuck.
Iām not eating until I get home at 7pm. And I have to be up at 7am for my next shift tommrrow. Thereās so many other people she couldāve asked. But because Iām āyoung without childrenā clearly I have free time. Itās called I like time off so I donāt go insane from work.
Sometimes you have to laugh at yourself
/u/Kitkat9229
Created: Fri Aug 17 11:21:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98460j/sometimes_you_have_to_laugh_at_yourself/
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On mobile, please tag as other.
So I'm at work and I was supposed to eat a morning snack per my dietician. However the food vending machine isn't working so I got some orange juice out of the drink vending machine instead. When I got back to my desk I used a sharpie to mark the half-way point on the bottle since I only wanted 100 calories worth of juice. I had to laugh at myself because that's such a ridiculous thing to do. Like, who the fuck marks on bottles how much juice to drink?? Lol just thought I'd share I'm sure most of you can relate. Anyway, how you all are having a nice day. :)
Finally underweight!
/u/ImpishImp
Created: Fri Aug 17 11:18:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98451u/finally_underweight/
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Holy shit. Weighed myself this morning and I'm 121.2lbs. Height is 5'8" means my BMI is 18.4 haha holy shit it feels great.
[Rant/Rave] I don't need a sign, I need my scale to stop being a little bitch
/u/fastingfrycook
Created: Fri Aug 17 11:17:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9844pd/i_dont_need_a_sign_i_need_my_scale_to_stop_being/
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Fuck so my scale is broken. The batteries work, I tested them in a remote, but the scale itself won't turn on. i cant replace it for at least a week.
I decided maybe I should be more open about my ED with my boyfriend and told him I was freaking out bc my scale is broken. I remember why I only talk about this kind of thing in ED groups now!!!! He said that was a GOOD THING and maybe I should take it as a SIGN to let it go
Like. Dude. Bro. Just because my scale isn't working doesn't mean I'm not gonna obsess over my weight and shape and how much I eat today and how much I move today. I'm not gonna be like AHA GUESS ITS TIME TO EAT NORMALLY AND WITHOUT GUILT!!!! like I'm still mentally ill and this sucks.
If I don't have a scale I want that to be because I choose to not have one. If I don't weigh myself I want it to be because I chose not to. Scales are neutral. I have a history of self harm but I still keep my shaving razors because I have to shave my face! I want to be able to have a scale even in recovery so I can make sure I'm in a healthy range! I'm not in recovery yet but let me keep this one thing. It's not like not having it is going to cure me lmao
[Help] I need some legitimate advice.
/u/nihilistatari [5'2 | Too much | 21 | Not enough | Male]
Created: Fri Aug 17 11:16:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98449n/i_need_some_legitimate_advice/
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I just began the 10th grade and I don't know what to do.
I can skip breakfast and most of the time skip lunch, but I have such a severe headache and my stomach hurts so badly, and I hate high school so fucking much, that the moment I get home all I can do is binge after the boring, mundane, torturous day.
What do I do?
[Rant/Rave] last night i relapsed
/u/everybhodyhurt
Created: Fri Aug 17 10:52:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/983wxr/last_night_i_relapsed/
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despite not having restricted for the longest time, or purging. i have binged so much. i used to consider a binge a full dinner meal at one point, but now itās at a disgusting point...
i binged on a large milkshake, 2 30oz starbucks refreshers, a cake pop, 4 peanut butter cups, ice cream, soda, coffee with heaps of cream, and a largeeeeeee amount of tater tots. i ate so much that by the time i finished stuffing my face with a tot covered in ketch up that i had to run to the bathroom as my body forced up everything. it was so so disgusting!
my eyes were watering, my nose and cheeks fatter than they have been in months, i just looked at myself in the mirror and wanted to scream. i feel so alone. yes, im gross. yes, Iām fat. yes, i hate myself. i just feel so embarrassed in talking to anybody around me because i feel like because of the stigma around EDās, they wonāt take me seriously. simply because im not thin. itās driving me insane honestly.
i threw everything away at the end of the night and cried and now im going out to purchase a bunch of healthy shit. i want to buy a new scale simply because i know ive gained and i want myself to realize how awful i have gotten with all the binging (without purging) and im so disappointed in myself. i am so disgusted in myself. i loathe myself. i donāt know what to do.
help me. whatever advice is appreciated, i just hate this.
My Friend Triggers Me
/u/KaitlynMK
Created: Fri Aug 17 10:52:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/983wsz/my_friend_triggers_me/
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My best friend just told me
She was going to stop eating to get down to 105 lbs. we are both 118 lbs, but she always comments about how I look. I hate it. She makes fun of the fact that Iām a size 5 and that she is a 1. The girl knows I struggled with an ED. After hearing her say that she was going to stop eating I decided Iāll do the same thing. Itās a secrect Competition that she wonāt know about. However my goal will me less than hers.
[Help] last night i relapsed
/u/everybhodyhurt
Created: Fri Aug 17 10:51:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/983wn8/last_night_i_relapsed/
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despite not having restricted for the longest time, or purging. i have binged so much. i used to consider a binge a full dinner meal at one point, but now itās at a disgusting point...
i binged on a large milkshake, 2 30oz starbucks refreshers, a cake pop, 4 peanut butter cups, ice cream, soda, coffee with heaps of cream, and a largeeeeeee amount of tater tots. i ate so much that by the time i finished stuffing my face with a tot covered in ketch up that i had to run to the bathroom as my body forced up everything. it was so so disgusting!
my eyes were watering, my nose and cheeks fatter than they have been in months, i just looked at myself in the mirror and wanted to scream. i feel so alone. yes, im gross. yes, Iām fat. yes, i hate myself. i just feel so embarrassed in talking to anybody around me because i feel like because of the stigma around EDās, they wonāt take me seriously. simply because im not thin. itās driving me insane honestly.
i threw everything away at the end of the night and cried and now im going out to purchase a bunch of healthy shit. i want to buy a new scale simply because i know ive gained and i want myself to realize how awful i have gotten with all the binging (without purging) and im so disappointed in myself. i am so disgusted in myself. i loathe myself. i donāt know what to do.
help me. whatever advice is appreciated, i just hate this.
[Rant/Rave] I entered a weight loss program at my uni
/u/neverbeenabeauty
Created: Fri Aug 17 10:23:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/983nus/i_entered_a_weight_loss_program_at_my_uni/
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For the past couple of months I've been bingeing and gaining weight like crazy, I went from an already big BMI of 29 to 35. For three months I'll have free check-ups, exercise and eating plans, as well as those body composition analysis. I am really motivated to follow the program and loose weight "the right way". I hope this way I can stop bingeing and restricting and have an steady weight loss without yo-yo-ing.
[Help] Broke a 5 day fast, ate 1000 Cals, want to continue fast
/u/kurtisskinny [165cm | CW 155 | BMI 25.8 | ? | 21F:cake:]
Created: Fri Aug 17 10:16:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/983lsa/broke_a_5_day_fast_ate_1000_cals_want_to_continue/
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Iām scared that my meal last night will ruin my progress (had a burrito salad - veggies, burrito sauce, refrained beans w chips and guacamole). Has anyone else restricted for a few days like this then continued after a binge? Did it ruin everything or were u able to get back on track??
[Rant/Rave] i cant concentrate for shit
/u/rainesaway
Created: Fri Aug 17 10:12:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/983kg1/i_cant_concentrate_for_shit/
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i had 94 calories for breakfast this morning out of my 500 calorie limit that ive actually been sticking to for the past two weeks and all i can think about is my next meal which wont even be a meal because i cant eat anything above 150 calories without wanting to kill myself. i just almost broke down crying in the middle of class because i cant concentrate but i cant tell anyone because im not sick enough yet. this is my senior year, im supposed to be having fun. but i cant because all i can think about is food and calories and how terrified i am of getting caught before my goal weight. im such a fucking disappointment.
any words of encouragement would be great because i feel like im going to pass out. thank you.
Hair loss from bulimia
/u/mbisa
Created: Fri Aug 17 10:11:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/983k7k/hair_loss_from_bulimia/
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I've had bulimia for 2 years and after the first 6 months I lost over 50% of my hair volume... I was put on rogaine but I recently moved out and haven't used it because it costs too much. Now it's starting again and I don't know what to do. Any tips?
My brain listens to me??
/u/EternalVertigo
Created: Fri Aug 17 10:07:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/983j0q/my_brain_listens_to_me/
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Some weeks ago I had been binging on PB like crazy, so some days ago I got really depressed about it. After binging on it, tried purging it in the bathroom for 30 min str8 but couldn't do it. To this day, I haven't craved PB or binged on it.
[Rant/Rave] Feelin myself
/u/audreyhepburnwho
Created: Fri Aug 17 10:07:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/983ix3/feelin_myself/
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Guys so i was super upset because ive been fasting and today I'm meeting my crush/hook-up, and i planned on breaking the fast AFTER meeting him so i would be looking lean and all. But yesterday i caved and ate. Not a huge binge but enough to feel super bloated and shit. So today i fasted the whole day and drank a ton of green tea. And ok ive been leaner but i think my stomach looks flat enough and so ive been showering and prepping and fuck i feel good. I mightve taken two shots of vodka to help with the confidence haha. I look hot. Been restricting a lot and my legs finally have something resembling a thigh gap. My outfit is on point while also looking effortlessly yknow? And my skin on my face looks smooth from the fasting and drinking a shit ton of wster im glad i didnt breakout after eating chocolate yesterday. Gonna go get laid yaaaaall. I was so soooo close to bingeing today, i even thought for a second he was gonna cancel and that'd for sure turned into a binge. Glad it didn't. Thank god i broke that YEAR LONG binge cycle and bave been good restricting cuz even if I'm not at goal i feel sooooo much much better. Ok sorryfor the drunk rambling kiss lvoe you guya seriously this is my favorite sub ever and you guys are all so fucking supportive and ugh. Hugs.
How do y'all deal with wanting contradictory things?
/u/ImNotUnique____
Created: Fri Aug 17 10:02:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/983hno/how_do_yall_deal_with_wanting_contradictory_things/
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This drives me crazy. Most of the time there's this driving force to make myself smaller and smaller and smaller and I dream about being a dainty little waif of a person...
But some days I wake up and I want to embrace my "sturdier" side, I guess I would call it. I believe I can be okay being a normal weight. I know it helps me be able to do the things I want to do in general (lots of heavy projects around the house, learning to ride a motorcycle, blah blah blah), because eating gives me energy for working and for muscle growth and all that junk.
I want both *so fucking bad.* I want to be this tiny, almost ethereal little thing (more realistically, "ethereal" should be "emaciatec) *that also* is able to do physically anything she wants.
I can't have both. I just can't, it's not possible, not for long anyways. I already feel the exhaustion hardcore some days, and that my muscles will eventually start to struggle with what I put themselves through.
I know what I want, then suddenly I don't...
Stupid brain.
[Rant/Rave] 20 pounds
/u/alonlioak
Created: Fri Aug 17 09:49:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/983dkv/20_pounds/
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Thatās it, thatās all I wanna lose
20 pounds
70,000 calories
But I canāt
I sit around fasting, I play the waiting game
And then I fuck it up and binge and suddenly Iāve wasted days, weeks because Iām a fat pig. I love food too much to lose literally anything
AHHH so frustrating if anyone else has a similar target message me if you want or donāt if not lmao
[Discussion] What constitutes a āwaifā body type?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 09:46:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/983cog/what_constitutes_a_waif_body_type/
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This is a bit of a random question but I always see it used in discussions of fashion and I never really know what they mean other than āskinnyā. Thought some of you probably also have this preoccupation or at least will get it, and maybe someone even will have an answer.
Weird update, I sorta just binged on crackers after being good all day.
/u/WishingToBeAna
Created: Fri Aug 17 09:28:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9837dc/weird_update_i_sorta_just_binged_on_crackers/
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Same as the title. I started the morning with a sugar free energy drink then nothing for most of the day, but then....
Those lousy crackers (saladas specifically) took over my brain with their delicious crunch.
Now I'm just sitting here cuddling my fur baby trying to convince myself not to purge.
Everyone I work with is fucking obsessed with food.
/u/bpdunicornprincess
Created: Fri Aug 17 09:16:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9833qo/everyone_i_work_with_is_fucking_obsessed_with_food/
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Every day my colleagues talk about food. How much they can't wait for lunch! How good the cookies in the cafe look! Ooh, I got a slice of this chocolate loaf and it's so GOOEY! Can't wait for dinner tonight!
I suppose I am obsessed too, but in a different way. But while they are drawn to it, I feel repelled. Scared. I'll stand and stare down a sandwich and feel filled with fear and anxiety.
But man, I wish they'd just *shut up* about fucking food.
Boyfriend not concerned????
/u/mustaird
Created: Fri Aug 17 09:14:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98335j/boyfriend_not_concerned/
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I've been restricting for about a month and have lost a lot of weight. My boyfriend knows that I try to keep my consumption under 500 calories a day and always says that he's proud of me for losing weight???? And makes comments like "that's the price of being skinny" and other stuff like that. He isn't the slightest bit concerned about me and I don't know if this makes any sense but? I wish that he were kind of concerned or didn't encourage me so much. Sorry just a rant
[Help] EC stack isn't kicking in? Very confused
/u/110_percent_bot
Created: Fri Aug 17 09:08:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98314l/ec_stack_isnt_kicking_in_very_confused/
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I bought Bronkaid and caffeine pills months ago but I was too scared to use them...until today. This morning I took 12.5mg of ephedrine (bronkaid) and 100mg of caffeine. My caffeine tolerance is super low so I thought I'd feel it kicking in immediately, but it's been 40 minutes and nothing feels different. I'm hungry af and, even more weirdly....my heart rate decreased? I measured it before taking the EC stack and it was at around 60bpm (normal for me), but now when I measure it it's around 50bpm? Ephedrine and caffeine are stimulants, which should increase my heart rate, right? What is even happening??
I found an antidepressant that not only works but takes away my apetite!!
/u/tanoren [5'5" | 127 lbs | 21 bmi | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 17 09:07:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9830xt/i_found_an_antidepressant_that_not_only_works_but/
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So I've been cycling through antidepressants, antianxiety and other types of meds since I was 14- I'm 19 now. About a year or more ago I was prescribed Luvox for a range of things (I have depression, anxiety, and a form of OCD). AND IT WORKED. I IMPROVED.
Around that time I had gained 15-20 lbs my senior year of HS after a surgery went badly and I ate nothing but ice and jello for 2 weeks. I think it fucked up my metabolism. I'm still trying to get back to my original weight... Anyway, I'm staying with my boyfriend's parents until the lease on our house starts (we move in tomorrow!!!) and his mom has made comments about how I eat like a bird. I figured it was just from normal restriction, but I've recently noticed that I just have no desire to eat most of the time-- actually, it makes me nauseous to even think about food, and I've developed a sudden aversion to meat. Even when I'm hungry, it's nauseating. It sucks because I never got nauseous until I had a drug reaction during the aforementioned surgery, but hey, it helps.
Well, I finally looked it up today and apparently it's a well known side effect of Luvox. The More You Know. I was surprised because it seems like a lot of SSRIs cause weight gain. I can't complain. :)
[Rant/Rave] Body dysmorphia wake up call
/u/Beanutpean
Created: Fri Aug 17 09:06:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9830r2/body_dysmorphia_wake_up_call/
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I love to crochet and I recently adopted a small elderly dog and decided I wanted to make him a sweater to match my hat and scarf. I started crocheting it before I adopted him, but I had met him already and knew his size and figured I could use my thigh as a rough model and if anything it would just be a little bit big on him. He's here now and when I went to size it on him it was too small, like, *way* too small. He's 9 lbs. I can't help but cry every time I look at the sweater, how could be so blind to how I really look? If I really am so small why the fuck can't I see it? Why do I see love handles and a fat fucking gut and all of these stretch marks when I'm 108 lbs? Why can't I ever look at myself and see a skinny, tiny, beautiful person? I hate my eating disorder so god damn much.
Thoughts and Things
/u/KissMeSlowlyPlease
Created: Fri Aug 17 09:00:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/982yw1/thoughts_and_things/
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Today, I went to the doctors, because my echo showed up abnormal last week.
Today, they classified me as under weight and told me that I should gain weight in order for my heart to stop fluttering.
I don't know how I feel about this. I never really had a goal in mind, a Target or whatever. I just always wanted to not feel fat as fuck, but to be told that I'm under weight, and it do absolutely nothing for me, kinda makes me feel like shit tbh. I never strived to be underweight, I've always strived to simply like what I see reflected back at me in the mirror.
Now I'm left feeling... Dissatisfied still. Ugh, I can't stand this feeling.
I'm sorry, mom
/u/usernameblahhhhh [5 ft | 14.3]
Created: Fri Aug 17 08:42:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/982tsw/im_sorry_mom/
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I'm sorry, mom. I'm so sorry. What I wouldn't give to let you have your daughter back for one day, one moment even. What I wouldn't give to let myself have that moment.
It was in middle school I first got the idea that I needed to weigh less than 80 pounds. Less than 80, but more than 70. I hated myself then, and knew that only if I had this freedom of lightness could I finally be comfortable in my own skin. The next 5+ years were spent yo-yoing up and down with EDNOS-fueled binge and restrict cycles, watching my weight forever fluctuate a few points within the healthy range. I gorged on sweets and bread in disgust, and then had bursts of energy to do creative, interesting things. I hated myself, sure, but I was so alive. I was so alive and I took it for granted.
When I finally started living in my own, I won the game. Won the game, but forgot how to stop playing. I realized that if I had just eaten at a tiny deficit all those years, I would have hit my goal a long time ago. So I bought a Fitbit, and over time my eating disorder morphed into some weird sort of OCD. I became obsessed with the idea of eating 16-1800 calories every day even when I didn't want to, and every year my daily step goal has climbed a further 10,000. Today I still eat in the 1600s and walk 50k steps every day. I haven't had a single rest day in years. Even when my entire day is booked from 9 am to 9 pm, nothing stops the obsession. I'm so tired I forgot how to stop being tired.
The sad thing is that in a strange, distorted way, I'm happy. I spent most of my life disliking myself, and now Iām finally content and comfortable in my own skin. I guess I kind of love myself, even. I feel like I'm in a place between half alive and half dead, and it's everything I ever wanted. I look amazing and have a certain clarity and thoughtfulness I never even knew was possible before. I'm who I want to be, but I'm so dysfunctional it hurts. The funny thing is that on the surface I look like one of those perfect people who has their life completely together. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors. In truth, reaching my goal weight gave me exactly what I always wanted. I just didn't realize it would come at the cost of everything else.
My entire day revolves around rigid schedules and routines. I eat the same snacks and same dinner each night at the same time, and walk a portion of my steps right after, not sleeping until the early hours of the morning. When I wake up, I have to do a certain amount of steps before I get my first meal, another amount before the second. By the time I allow myself to live, the day is half gone, and if my morning requires professional duties it comes at the expense of sleep. It's always the same thing, a rigid and emotionless monotony. By myself, Iām quite happy. I manage/d university and work to a standard of excellence while never faltering with my routine for even one day. I'm my own living aesthetic and feel very calm as long as I'm left to my own devices.
But visits with my family kill. Oh, mother. My dear mother. She remembers the person I used to be. The teenage girl who was funny and passionate, who loved to be spontaneous. The girl who would pick a place on the map and say, āletās go there,ā who found intrigue in new restaurants and museums, and who loved jumping into any building that looked even somewhat abandoned. The girl who sometimes got up at 6 am and went for walks but sometimes stayed awake until then by choice, who would eat an entire batch of cookies or a loaf of pumpkin bread and go on with her life. The girl who loved variety. My mom remembers that girl. I'm not sure I do.
When I'm with her, I feel so sad. My eating disorder forged itself with my adult identity, but I miss the spontaneity of the person I used to be. I miss not forcing myself into this routine every day. I miss her delicious desserts and the macaroni and cheese I used to have 3 nights out of 7 because I was so damn picky about everything else.
I remember stuffing myself with treats and walking half the night filled with thoughts and ideas about the world. There were so many things I wanted to do. Yet I forget I romanticize the past and overlook how unhappy I was with myself. The truth is, I was never comfortable in my own skin and always wanted more, wanted to be someone else. Now I have me - I finally have that peace of mind I always wanted - but at the cost of everything else.
It breaks my mothers heart, and when I'm with her, it breaks mine too. She doesnāt say it but I can see it in her eyes. Out of love she even goes along with my rigidity, but I know itās only because she hopes one day Iāll snap out of it. Ten years ago I couldn't imagine I'd ever throw a fit about someone moving my special fork or insist upon driving for an hour because everyone is out of stock of my favorite flavor of yogurt. Like, what the hell? You can't tell me you're happy with a life like thatā¦ you have to be delusional. Of course I know this. The rational person in me knows that because I've spent the last decade caring about nothing but my weight, I'll do anything to justify how happy it makes me. The me who lives every day says this rational voice ājust doesn't get it,ā and will never understand how miserable I was even though I did so much living. That she'll never understand how content I am now even though my life has been reduced to numbers. Itās just memories that tear me apart. Writing this I both agree with myself and shake my head with pity at a girl so in denial. What a farce, indeed.
So guess whatā¦ my goal weight was everything I dreamed. Hooray! I've been here for a few years now and have everything I want, and at this point my adult identity is inseparable from my eating disorder. Iām successful in life and get to be at my goal weight, too. My health is stable, and whenever I'm by myself, I'm happy, for whatever that's worth. I feel so light and calm, my existence transient and ephemeral. But with my momā¦ with my mom I'm so, so sad. I don't miss cookies or pizza or pasta, or anything like that, but I miss eating them with freedom, and living a life that food was part and not the center of. I miss caring about anything but 50,000 steps a day and not giving a second thought to how my uncompromising behavior affects those who love me.
I want just one day. One day where I don't count steps, where I get up before noon and do all the things with my mom we used to do when I was younger, the fun we had that was more than just long walks. One day where I nibble on chocolate and ask her to bake my favorite cookies. One day where we all sit down and have a family dinner. But I can't have that day. I can't have that day, because even though my eating disorder gave me everything I wanted, it also took away so much more than I ever expected. Most of the time, living my life, it doesn't bother me. In the face of what I had, I'm heartbroken.
I used to eat sandwiches and pasta, I used to get things at bakeries because they looked good. I used to go to bed and wake up when I wanted, and had things I prioritized above my obsessive fixation with routine. Routine, routine, routine. Congratulations my dear, you're finally a beautiful, thoughtless doll neither alive nor dead, just like you always wanted to be. I hope you're as happy as you say you are, because someone has to be happy with all the hurt you've caused.
Nothing in the world would make my mother happier than if I asked her to make her homemade mac and cheese. Iām only sorry that I canāt. Sorry to you for what I've done in becoming what I wanted, and sorry to myself for the pain of memories forgotten.
In a week we will part ways, and everything will go back to normal again. Today, I just miss the person I was.
My weekly reminder of my worthlessness
/u/saptashati [5'6" | 153.6 | 24.6 | 26.4 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 08:42:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/982tsu/my_weekly_reminder_of_my_worthlessness/
---
So I donāt know why (probably because Iām 180 pounds and brown) but men are not interested in me at all. The thing is ever since I was 13 every guy who has ever even liked me a little has liked a small blonde girl more.
So then Iām an adult and I meet a coworker and I think ok this guy knows me for me and I think he could like me just a little. But no yesterday I found it he told my blonde skinny coworker that he loves her and they should be together. Iām heartbroken.
If I ever want to be loved or popular or liked I need to be someone people want to be around. And I will never be that because Iām not typical arm candy. I canāt be blonde but at least I can be skinny. My ED comes in fluxes but now Iām committing until everyone loves me.
[Help] Urgent question: does herbal/fruit/black tea have any calories??
/u/lxelan4862
Created: Fri Aug 17 08:39:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/982stc/urgent_question_does_herbalfruitblack_tea_have/
---
I have always been under the guise that any tea with no added sugar has negligible calories, so logging it won't have any effect. Am I right in assuming that, or has my entire life been a lie?
Fuck yeah!
/u/thinistheonlyway [5ft5 | CW: ??? | GW: 120 | UGW: 115 | 20F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 08:36:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/982s1r/fuck_yeah/
---
I always see girls at college wearing those super tight running leggings and sneakers to go to class. I've always thought they looked so comfortable, casual and attractive, but I never thought I'd be able to get them on my damn body, let alone look good in them. I bought a couple pairs, one Adidas and one Nike, thinking when I get down to a goal weight they might fit. I tried on the Nike leggings today - size small - thinking they'd be way too tight still, but hoping to motivate myself. Y'all, they FIT. I'm wearing them right now. I've never been a size small in my whole life. I've got a ways to go, but it feels good. Have a great day.
[Rant/Rave] Doctors and why Iāll pass on them, thank you very much
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 17 08:25:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/982ou4/doctors_and_why_ill_pass_on_them_thank_you_very/
---
Warning: this is kinda really fucking long. Also profanity. Also overuse of parentheses. :)
Theyāre on to me. Theyāre ACTUALLY FUCKING ON TO ME. Fuck doctors. Fuck my parents. Most of all, fuck. My. Life.
My dad scheduled a āback to schoolā checkup for me yesterday, even though weāve never before. Ha. Should have been my first red flag.
Going into the appointment, I was strangely anxious. Iād lost some weight since last time, but I couldnāt remember how much since then (I wasnāt disordered last time lol kms). Anyways, I figured that Iād be fine. No big deal, right??
Wrong. Double wrong. First off, apparently Iāve FUCKing shrunk since last time ~~come on I donāt have any inches to spare~~. And then the next matter was my weight. I weighed in at 110 lbs. last time I was 116.
The doctor starts grilling me about whether itās intentional, I feed her some bs about trying to get fitter (haha). She asks me about whether I have a goal weight, I feed her some bs about 105 (lol). She asks me what Iāve eaten today, I give what Iāve eaten (but twice the proportions).
The whole time Iām literally seething. Turns out that my dad scheduled the appointment because he was āconcernedā. (Fuck you, dad). 110lbs? You should see me without shoes and clothes on at the beginning of the day (108.1!). Not enough food? You should see what I actually ate (uno rice cake). But when she says that I weigh less than when I was 12, Iām simultaneously ecstatic and disgusted: I *weigh less than when I was 12* and I must have been really fucking fat (Iām sorry guys Iām an awful person).
So yeah. She says that I *have to* eat breakfast, so thereās another purging sesh Iāll be having. Also she prescribed me a nutritionist (fuck you) and a therapist (She says that Iām a āslightly disturbed and very angry young womanā) (fuck you too). And the whole time my mom sat in the corner, bewildered (*slightly less hostile* fuck you).
Idk guys. There is no fucking way Iām contacting the nutritionist (I told my mom in more PC terms) but Iām low key (?) considering the therapist, just so that all I donāt explode from when I run out of room to bottle my emotions.
Thanks for letting me rant. Sorry for being an angsty teen. Love ya and peace out.
Has anyone else's stomach hurt really bad when restricting?
/u/DiabolicalFruits [5'5 | CW: 153 | GW: 120 | -7 lbs | 18F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 08:16:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/982mm1/has_anyone_elses_stomach_hurt_really_bad_when/
---
Okay, so the past few days I haven't eaten much, but it's nothing I haven't done for. And I've had hunger pains and stomach aches before, but in all my life my stomach has never hurt as much as it did last night. I would rather break my ankle again than go through that. It was almost like the cramps you get from your period, sharp pains and random sharp bursts, but *so* much more intense. After about an hour, I got up to try to drink some Gatorade because I thought maybe it was because I hadn't eaten that day, but I didn't even make it partway through a tiny bottle because I felt like I was going to throw it up. So I spent the next hour and a half writhing and sweating in my bed until the pain relaxed some and I could sleep. I deadass was going to ask my roommate when it got to 7AM(about three hours after it started) if she would take me to the hospital because it was so intense, but it started lessening a little before that so I didn't. And I was going to eat and workout today, but I think I'm just going to stick to some fruits and not do a whole lot because every time I move, I can feel that pain in my stomach from it being sore. Has anything like that happened to anyone else?? Cause I've had an eating disorder for a long time, and I've had my fair share of stomach aches, but I've *never* had one that bad.
[Help] Can someone help me understand why I binge?
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Fri Aug 17 08:12:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/982l7j/can_someone_help_me_understand_why_i_binge/
---
Hi, so I have BED and I know that I binge to distract me from some kind of emotion. I constantly seek some kind of forced high-- caffeine, binging, nicotine, too loud music, shopping.... etc. I never, ever let myself get to the 'low' point of my emotions. I don't know why. I don't know which emotion I'm avoiding. Maybe you know a list of emotions that BED covers up or something? Do you feel the same way? Anything helps. Thanks.
[Discussion] Showerthought: A subreddit called r/EDlogic would probably be just as ridiculous as r/fatlogic
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 š» CW: 93lbs š» 21F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 08:10:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/982kw2/showerthought_a_subreddit_called_redlogic_would/
---
Obviously Iām not pushing for this to be a subreddit, but today as I was scrolling through r/fatlogic, I realized that while my irrational thinking is not the same as theirs (obviously) I still have a pretty illogical way of thinking due to the ED.
"You look really good. You don't look like you have an eating disorder at all."
/u/AbjectRepresentative
Created: Fri Aug 17 07:51:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/982fce/you_look_really_good_you_dont_look_like_you_have/
---
Heard this today.
N I C E
[Rant/Rave] When someone looks at me for a second too long
/u/velocity2ds
Created: Fri Aug 17 07:48:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/982en6/when_someone_looks_at_me_for_a_second_too_long/
---
My brain will just start yelling jfc they are looking at how disgusting and ugly you are. Looking at my body or face to see how someone can be that fucked
And sometimes I have not cruel and mean mental moments where I tell myself I'm pretty and have a good body. But whenever anyone gives me a second glance or they look at me again after initially greeting that's all my brain is yelling at me. It just takes me out of social situations so badly as I get wrapped in a trillion and a half body image issues. Truth is that additional looking could just be totally meaningless like they are looking around (these aren't face to face convos w eye contact I'm talking about) but anything these days can make my body image/ED rile up
I'm in recovery and food wise it's going good and my dietitian even said we don't have to meet as much anymore. She told me I can't lose anymore weight at my height/weight stats and rn I'm really not trying to. But for me the issue is all in my mental relationship w myself and how I take it out on my body through extremely watching my food and orthorexia. Idk life's exhausting I wish I could just exist without living each moment with extreme consciousness
[Discussion] Whereās the line drawn between disordered eating and a full blown eating disorder?
/u/anasabitch
Created: Fri Aug 17 07:46:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/982e7d/wheres_the_line_drawn_between_disordered_eating/
---
[Discussion] Most triggering things?
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1 | CW 195 | BMI 25.7 |WL: -173 | M]
Created: Fri Aug 17 07:15:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98268g/most_triggering_things/
---
So I'm on this restricting thing and it keeps getting more intense. This one was triggered by me trying to seek out treatment for my ED a few weeks ago and told them I had been eating at maintenance for the last few months. I told the doctor I had severe body image issues and asked for a referral to a psychiatrist. The doctor left the room and conferred with a colleague and they were discussing how I am still a bit overweight and that they could suggest things to help me lose weight. I WAS NOT ASKING FOR HELP LOSING WEIGHT . Now I want to starve myself down and strip off all this muscle I built. Sigh... I fucking hate doctors.
Having someone imply that I can't lose weight honestly could not be more triggering What things are most triggering to you?
[Goal] I did it. 108 hours without food. Thinking of going another 24 hours before I eat.
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Fri Aug 17 06:53:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9820nm/i_did_it_108_hours_without_food_thinking_of_going/
---
https://i.redd.it/wf295b3vhng11.jpg
[Discussion] i pooped today
/u/glutenfreeaf
Created: Fri Aug 17 06:37:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/981wlk/i_pooped_today/
---
yesterday i quit laxatives cold turkey after 3 years of abuse and i just want to share that i've already pooped on my own. hopefully it's not just residual stuff lingering in my system. either way, i'm feeling happy and hopeful!
Throwing up from not eating?
/u/unsentoffmythrowaway
Created: Fri Aug 17 06:24:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/981tlj/throwing_up_from_not_eating/
---
I ate but the calorie intake was very low, I imagine less than 500
I felt nauseous and passed out at 10pm
Now I woke up and I feel sick and like I'm going to trow up whenever I stand up. I don't have a banana and not much food in the house so any suggestions on what to do would be appreciated.
I'm so close to getting McDonald's to just have SOMETHING in my body but that probably won't be good
Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! August 17, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 17 06:12:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/981qpk/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_august/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for August 17, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 17, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 17 06:12:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/981qoh/daily_food_diary_august_17_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 17, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Weird reason for developing an ED (Maybe)
/u/nymphlotus [64in | 157 | 26.9 | -23lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 17 05:48:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/981l79/weird_reason_for_developing_an_ed_maybe/
---
Sometimes I think I developed an ED because I just want to look like anyone but myself, and this seemed the easiest.
Sure, I see pictures of tiny, nearly invisible girls and I want that. I want to see my bones and have a small chest and look like I might blow away in a high wind.
But I also see pictures of absolute curvy goddesses, and I want that, too. Perfect hourglass bodies with huge boobs and amazing hips and booties.
And then I see pictures of athletic women. Ripped to the damn bone, soooo toned and tight and strong looking.
I even see pictures of women who are clearly overweight. The gorgeous plus sized models who look so soft and glowing, like freaking fertility statues come to life.
Everywhere I turn I see these beautiful women. Every shape and size and type imaginable. But when I look at me I'm so...average. Not thin, or fat, or toned. Not tall, not short. Not delicate and radiant or tough and fierce. My boobs, butt, and hips aren't huge, but not small, either. Nothing stands out.
I feel like I'm in this awful limbo. Like I'm just...invisible. I'm not rich enough for cosmetic surgery, and I don't have the dedication to whip myself into Olympian shape at the gym. The constant self hatred set in and I steered my way towards starving and purging. But it turns out I'm bad at that, too.
I just want to be anything but who I am.
[Discussion] DAE hate weight loss compliments?
/u/whereismaimind
Created: Fri Aug 17 04:51:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9819qs/dae_hate_weight_loss_compliments/
---
Iāve been losing weight through disordered eating again and a few people have commented on how good Iām looking. In a way it feels good, compliments are nice. But it kind of makes me feel like shit.
For example, my boyfriend. Heās noticed Iām losing weight, and I kind of hate it. I just feel like other people are finding joy and benefiting from my misery. Like Iām miserable from this just so yāall can find me more attractive. Iām literally killing myself so yāall can find me more beautiful? The worst part is, itās working.
[Rant/Rave] was confused about lack of weightloss ...
/u/dietcokeangel [5'3 | 103lbs | 18.3 | -24lbs | GNC F 21]
Created: Fri Aug 17 04:34:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9816n0/was_confused_about_lack_of_weightloss/
---
... until i found out i got my period and therefore have to wait a week to be able to see any kind of progress. it's so frustrating!!!
god i wish i didn't get periods anymore, but i know i'll have to dive into the 15-16 bmi range before it'll consider stopping.
Has anyone actualy managed to stop their hair from falling out anymore?
/u/russianpiss
Created: Fri Aug 17 04:30:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9815s3/has_anyone_actualy_managed_to_stop_their_hair/
---
I keep seeing ppl recommending biotin but has this actually worked for anyone? like half of my hair has fallen out already (it feels like that at least) and i take mineral supplements now and it helps a little.
[Rant/Rave] I weigh less today than Iāve weighed in over 6 years
/u/_Pulltab_ [:karma: 5'7"| 26.3| -26.8 | F :karma:]
Created: Fri Aug 17 04:26:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/98156v/i_weigh_less_today_than_ive_weighed_in_over_6/
---
That is all.
[Rant/Rave] tfw: dude iāve been talking to shares eating distortion.
/u/fweakybby [5ā5ā | 132| 22.0 | 68lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 03:43:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/980x17/tfw_dude_ive_been_talking_to_shares_eating/
---
fuck me dude.
like...i wanna help him. but what can i say?
āplease donāt be so hard on yourself you look great!ā when iāve been in bed all goddamn day because i gained 1.2 lbs today and am so mad at myself i wonāt even look in the mirror.
like fuck. this sucks. no one knows about my eating shit and iām really trying to keep it that way so i guess i just have to fake body posi when i struggle with a fuckin pound of weight gain.
pedialyte vs Gatorade?
/u/unsentoffmythrowaway
Created: Fri Aug 17 03:38:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/980w5m/pedialyte_vs_gatorade/
---
I have neither but it's 5am and I'm craving Gatorade
What do you like better?
[Rant/Rave] I want to eat so badly
/u/landfill7707
Created: Fri Aug 17 03:25:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/980tvu/i_want_to_eat_so_badly/
---
Iām so fucking hungry but if I eat now Iāll just binge and at this point i donāt even know how to go back to being thin
Urgh
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Fri Aug 17 03:03:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/980q1f/urgh/
---
You know that feeling when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the reflection of a window and think "Wow! Who is that fat piece of shit that doesn't know how to dress herself, how did I not realise this is what I looked like when I left the house?"
Yeah... I'm getting a lot of that today.
[Discussion] Worst thing about purging?
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Fri Aug 17 02:08:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/980gub/worst_thing_about_purging/
---
Everything
But besides hair loss, tooth decay, bad skin, and lack of nutrients....
Well basically I just binged 3000 extra calories of taco bell.
Sooo
I purge
My least favorite thing??? Not knowing if I got most of it or not. I can never tell. I'm sure most of gall go till nothing comes out but after 20 minutes I was so weak I had to stop.
Anyways good night I have to work 8hrs tomorrow and I'm so tired. Hope yall have a better night than me :(
[Rant/Rave] Canāt purge because my family would hear me
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Fri Aug 17 02:03:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/980fwj/cant_purge_because_my_family_would_hear_me/
---
Iāve only purged once (wasnāt insanely successful) and felt pretty bad afterwards but nothing feels more bad than binging. It completely destroys my mind- makes me punch myself, etc. I probably ate 1,300 calories if not more this time. But this is the 2nd or 3rd time I have this week. I just canāt stop binging. I want to purge SO badly. I hate this sick feeling in my stomach. Being so bloated. Ugh and even if I went to the farthest toilet in the house my parents or my brother would hear me. I know what it will be like when I wake up. These horrible torturous thoughts will beat me down- I wonāt want to leave the house bc I feel so ashamed and angry and fat. I was supposed to be good. I wish I could drown these thoughts...
Those of you who eat shirataki noodles, where do you buy them?
/u/I_Love_Spiders_AMA [5' 7" | CW 137 | GW 110 | -45 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 17 01:35:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/980b7h/those_of_you_who_eat_shirataki_noodles_where_do/
---
In my area I mostly have Meijer, Kroger, Walmart for groceries, and when I visit back home Giant Eagle and Acme. As for health food stores there's also Mustard Seed and Earth Fair. Theres also an Asian market but I've never been. Thanks for the help!
[Rant/Rave] I āloveā having an eating disorder
/u/sewnp [5ā6ā and sad as hell babey]
Created: Fri Aug 17 00:31:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97zzff/i_love_having_an_eating_disorder/
---
I love how I made myself a plate of food clearly low cal and couldnāt eat all of it(~200) Then I got a craving for sweets and ate two and a half cookies and a piece of pound cake (360ish)
Why is it that my calorie intake was still way under 1000 but I feel so horrible about what I ate....Iām suffering
[Help] Which scale do I trust?
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5 ft 4|118lb|GW: 110|20.20|Not Enough|Nonbinary]
Created: Fri Aug 17 00:26:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97zyix/which_scale_do_i_trust/
---
Hey! So I have two scales, my mechanical one that I bought about 2/3 months ago because I gave my girlfriend my electronic one when I was attempting to recover and the aforementioned electronic ones.
So my mechanical ones have been consistently reading 118-120 for the past week which is frustrating but I know why (can't stop fucking eating) š and I found my electronic scales in the bedroom where my girlfriend has left some stuff (long story we moved house and the aforementioned bedroom is on the ground floor and she's not finisher moving her stuff into her room). So I used them and they're reading 123/124 with clothes on so now I don't know which ones to trust. I'm considering taking back the electronic scales but I'm not sure if my girlfriends been using them but she's gone on holiday so maybe I can use them just for the 5 days she's away?
EC/A stacking?
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Fri Aug 17 00:04:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97zub9/eca_stacking/
---
Is it safe at all? Is it effective enough to try? What dosage is safe? I just feel stuck and think this might help.
[Discussion] Losertown Calorie Calculator
/u/fortunate-foolx [f/5'1/cw:whale/gw:dead]
Created: Fri Aug 17 00:03:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97zu8p/losertown_calorie_calculator/
---
anyone else use this?
also: how accurate do you find it to be? :)
[Help] boyfriends are confusing and i hate myself
/u/rainesaway
Created: Thu Aug 16 23:55:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97zskv/boyfriends_are_confusing_and_i_hate_myself/
---
so i relapsed and iāve lost about 15 pounds (down to 110, iām 5ā4) in the last month but i want to lose more. i want to get down to 100, or below my lowest weight which was 98. my boyfriend is very very concerned and i made him cry the other day and i feel so guilty. i just donāt know how to stop and i feel like i canāt tell anyone because iām not sick enough yet. any advice on how to explain the thoughts that come with and eating disorder without scaring him away ?
[Tip] Tips and not messing everything up while on vacation?
/u/ButterflyThin [66" | 178 | 28.85 | -72 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 23:36:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97zoyx/tips_and_not_messing_everything_up_while_on/
---
Taking a plane to a city I am not very familiar with. Idea? Tips? Suggestions?
[Discussion] Bloat?
/u/LnD13313
Created: Thu Aug 16 23:20:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97zlx6/bloat/
---
What helps with bloating?
[Other] I donāt want to lose my hair
/u/skinnylilalien
Created: Thu Aug 16 22:57:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97zh2o/i_dont_want_to_lose_my_hair/
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It terrifies me ):
I manipulate relationships into ED fuel
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 22:38:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97zd62/i_manipulate_relationships_into_ed_fuel/
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There is probably a metric ton of subconscious psychological reasoning behind this, including early childhood sexual trauma and a less than ideal father, but my ed is inextricably linked to my sexuality and my relationship w men. When Iām dating or Iām in a relationship itās so easy for me to restrict because I make it about the other person. About looking good for them or them noticing or them worrying. But I also somehow feel like I want to be small enough that Iām aesthetically less sexual? Iām fairly curvy and always have been and I loved feeling almost androgynous or child like at my low weight. Itās a huge contradiction but it all accumulates to me purposefully dating men and somewhat consciously using them as ed fuel.
[Discussion] If you were on death row and you got to choose your last meal, what would it be?
/u/cookingwine2 [173CM | CW: 57.1KG | GW: 45KG | 16F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 22:22:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97z9tb/if_you_were_on_death_row_and_you_got_to_choose/
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I feel so bad right now
/u/aworkinprogress_
Created: Thu Aug 16 22:09:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97z6vu/i_feel_so_bad_right_now/
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So right now I'm like 5'6 and 121 lbs. My HW. I feel so bloated and disgusting and I can't stop bingeing because even a cup of coffee turns into a binge for me and I just want to curl up in a ball and not eat for 5 days but I feel like I have so many social/work obligations where food is being forced on me in the next few days and I don't even know what to do. Times like this make me wish I could purge ngl.
[Other] Therapist appointment
/u/mittensmel
Created: Thu Aug 16 22:02:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97z5ac/therapist_appointment/
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I had my first psychologist appointment today to talk about my eating disorder. God it was scary. I cried a few times and it shocked me. I never really cry.
I feel a bit weird now.
I can't seem to feel hungry.
Sooo, where do you put your scale?
/u/dorisholliday
Created: Thu Aug 16 21:57:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97z496/sooo_where_do_you_put_your_scale/
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Context: I weight XXX amount of pounds at the beginning of this month, right before a two week vacation. I told myself that I might gain 6 lbs when vacation was over, but vacay was fun, so whatever. I decided I wouldn't weigh myself until four days after vacay ended, to get rid of whatever water/beer/food weight that might be hanging around.
Yesterday, six days after vacation ended, weighed myself and actually lost weight. That six pounds I was scared I gained? Nah, actually lost TWO pounds from my original pre-vacay weight. That put me five pounds away from my goal weight. SO exciting!
TODAY, weighed myself, and I was SEVEN pounds heavier! How does one gain seven pound in a day?
Okay, here's the thing. When I weighed myself yesterday, it was in a different part of my house that I normally weigh myself. Today I weighed myself in the part of the house I normally weigh myself. Is it my floors? Which weight is right? Should I weigh myself tomorrow? What's going on?!?
I've been kinda freaking out all day. I think it's my floor that's making the difference. FML. Also, I'm drunkish.
Tired of my own bullshit
/u/averybluebitch [19f | 5'4 | LW: 52kg | CW: 54.5kg | UGW: 48kg ]
Created: Thu Aug 16 21:08:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97yt91/tired_of_my_own_bullshit/
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Hey guys, it's ya girl again getting back at it. I had been binging like a bitch for the past month or so and gained around 3kg, so when my classes started last week I decided to try and control myself.
OF COURSE this past week has been ridiculously tiring and stressful and triggered my depression in an allarming way, so I kept going over 1000. Like, I'd sustain myself at like, 200 calories for the whole day just to inhale 900 at night because I was sad and exhausted. Sigh.
Anyway, I'm tired of this. My band will play at a festival this weekend and I refuse to look this bloated and pathetic. Starting tomorrow, I'm back to eating under 500 - I already made a meal plan consisting on mostly diet coke, mint + green tea mix and puffy rice bars. I'm even considering taking either dramamine or cold medicine in the middle of my night class so I can be too tired to eat when I get home, idk. Please send motivation my way guys, I really need it!!
[Discussion] Anyone have experience with losing water retention around face/swollen glands?
/u/edthrowawayy123
Created: Thu Aug 16 21:01:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97yrp5/anyone_have_experience_with_losing_water/
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How long did it take for you to go back to normal? I have no idea what my natural face shape is anymore...hoping I keep up the no purge and I can finally find out!!!!
[Discussion] BMI calculators ?
/u/ihate-chicken
Created: Thu Aug 16 20:37:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97yluv/bmi_calculators/
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So I always thought online BMI calculators were pretty accurate since they ask for sex, age, height, weight... my BMI using this online calculator was around 18.2 and then I went to the doctor the other day who used a chart and told me it was 20.
Has this ever happened to anyone?
Iām strangely obsessed with BMI as well as my weight so this really freaked me out
[Discussion] Does anyone else love feeling dizzy?
/u/unsentoffmythrowaway
Created: Thu Aug 16 20:13:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97yg4l/does_anyone_else_love_feeling_dizzy/
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Even if I'm fat whenever I'm dizzy and can hardly walk down the stairs and have to lay down I feel amazing even if I ate over my limit
Just a little thing I wanna share
Currently tired, eating popcorn and dizzy on my bed
What do you do when you're going on a nice trip, you're scared af of eating because you might gain weight after a fast, but you wanna eat those goodies and enjoy your fucking self??
/u/andamaria
Created: Thu Aug 16 20:08:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97yez8/what_do_you_do_when_youre_going_on_a_nice_trip/
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You know, like besides wanting to die.
How do I not fuck up my doctor visits
/u/smashleytheking
Created: Thu Aug 16 20:00:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ycuu/how_do_i_not_fuck_up_my_doctor_visits/
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So my doctor apparently told me my blood sugar is low and I need to eat like every two hours. I had to get a blood test done and I was supposed to be fasting but I intentionally had a protein shake about an hour beforehand so it wouldn't look like I was starving myself. I have to go to a cardiologist because my heart rate jumps around a bunch and I pass out (no doubt from excessive caffeine, vicious purging, etc.) and honestly I am so terrified of the results. My husband and my mom wouldn't get off my back about seeing a GP for passing out and being tired and having problems all the time, I was really hoping this new one would be as dumb and aloof as the rest and tell me something generic and write it off but she is determined to find out the cause of my issues, which is more than likely my eating disorder. I feel really guilty for wasting everyone's time but a small part of me is hoping I can find something else minor wrong with me that I can use an excuse. I'm not the kind of person to do something like that but I can not have anyone find out I relapsed again and lock me back up in a hospital. I have genuine diagnosed PTSD from being abused by so called medical professionals last time I went to get help and I would rather die from this disorder than ever go back. Sorry for the long rant post but the only person I could talk to about this stuff killed herself two years ago and sending her texts that she will never read or respond to hasn't been helping as of late.
Poo - TMI
/u/ragamuffin_77 [5'5| 167| 28| 30| F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 19:57:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97yc9t/poo_tmi/
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Does anybody else get down when they have a bowel movement. I feel that when I am restricting I hardly ever have to go so when I do I feel like Iāve failed
[Help] Someone please talk me out of a binge
/u/madeinny88 [5'8" | 122 | 18.6 | 29/Female]
Created: Thu Aug 16 19:50:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97yagn/someone_please_talk_me_out_of_a_binge/
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I feel like I want to eat 200g of chocolate right now or an entire bag of granola. I have both of those things but I know if I give in I'm going to hate myself tomorrow. What can I do to successfully overcome this urge to binge?!!! Somebody please help!!! I'm desperate to not binge and not break my fast.
Crying in the grocery store.
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Thu Aug 16 19:39:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97y7oj/crying_in_the_grocery_store/
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Just broke out into tears in the grocery for no apparent reason. Aren't eating disorders just such a good time?????
Crying in the grocery store.
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Thu Aug 16 19:39:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97y7oe/crying_in_the_grocery_store/
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Just broke out into tears in the grocery for no apparent reason. Aren't eating disorders just such a good time?????
[Goal] Average model BMI?
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Thu Aug 16 19:33:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97y6b1/average_model_bmi/
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Thats what I want my BMI to be.
[Discussion] DAE have this particular weight mindset like me & mini rant & how to comPleteLy lOse yoUr AppEtiTe
/u/cynnamonrolls [Height: 5'5"| CW: 142| BMI: 23.9| Weight Lost: 30| Gender: F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 19:31:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97y5tb/dae_have_this_particular_weight_mindset_like_me/
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whenever iām losing weight, iām really fixated on the next ten pounds. itās this mindset, if iām at 139.9 i feel significantly better than if i was at 140.0, even if itās only just 0.1 pounds. and i gotta drop to 130 pounds no matter that. and then after that, i have to get to 12- something, and either maintain or lose. But if i go back up to 13- something, i feel like a complete failure. and then i drink more water or eat and then weigh myself again because i hate myself š
i weigh myself when i get up, after each meal (if iām at home), and at night when i go to sleep. I used to weigh myself always completely naked, but iāve forced myself to at least wear undergarments (attempting to be at least semi ānormalā).
i feel like iām stuck in this continual loop where weight is always going to be on my mind no mater what and iām never going to be able to have a healthy relationship with food.
i travelled abroad and decided to eat three meals in one day and i felt so sick and nauseous that i never did it again lmao. i usually stick with two meals a day, one at lunch and one in the evening, but time zones screwed me up a lot so i was hungry in the morning (i usually skip breakfast). how people eat three solid meals in a day i will never understand.
anyone wanna lose their appetite immediately: meet up with an ex at a high calorie restaurant because you want closure at a restaurant and have a small (lmao) anxiety attack waiting for them to show up and not eat anything because youāre wearing tight clothing š
tldr: im a mess
Iāve abused laxatives for 3 years and I just quit cold turkey.
/u/glutenfreeaf
Created: Thu Aug 16 19:27:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97y4v4/ive_abused_laxatives_for_3_years_and_i_just_quit/
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Today I finally told my therapist about my laxative abuse. It all started when in anorexia/bulimia recovery at age 18. Naturally, I had a lot of digestive issues at first and my GI recommended one senokot a day for two weeks to help get things moving but I never stopped taking them. Iāve taken on average 6 per day for the last 3 years and I finally want to stop. This afternoon, I flushed my remaining down the toilet and I am finally hopeful, but Iām also scared. I know that Iām not going to have regular bowel movements for a while, and Iām going to see my PCP to talk to her about the best ways to cope with this, what to expect, and when is too long to not have a bowel movement, etc. The hardest thing for me will be keeping up with eating normally when I feel bloated. I donāt really have a question in here, just looking for support and any of your experiences.
[Help] chipmunk cheeks?
/u/iluvmnms [163cm | CW: 52kg | BMI: 19.6 | GW: 48kg| UGW: 44kg | 18F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 19:12:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97y11p/chipmunk_cheeks/
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Looking at photos from over a year ago makes me so sad, like seeing how small my face looks :( how long does it take for your face to return to normal, is it affected by how long you've been purging? I've been doing it for a little over a year but i'm trying to quit b/p cold turkey bc i just want my normal lil cheeks back and I feel like b/p is just stopping me from reaching my gw. If anyone has tips which reduce swelling/bloating that have helped you (apart from stopping purges) please share!! help a lost shishter out ya'll
Anyone willing to share College experiences?
/u/ital21978566556432f
Created: Thu Aug 16 19:04:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97xz85/anyone_willing_to_share_college_experiences/
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Like did your ED get better or worse? Did you gain the freshman 15? Has your ED caused tensions with your roommates? About to start college soon and would like to hear what it was like for you. Thanks.
My ED makes me feel like a perv
/u/imgital [5'4 | too big | F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 19:00:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97xy1l/my_ed_makes_me_feel_like_a_perv/
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My go to thinspo is always porn. Like I'll stay on a porn sub for so long just in awe. Not for the sexual aspect really. But seeing real, naked bodies move and be in all kinds of weird positions and still be perfect? Ugh. And then just seeing the kind of responses they inspire in the comment section.
Anyone else do this? Or am I just creepy :/
[Discussion] How can i continue to live like this
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 120 |GW 115| F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 18:42:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97xtmk/how_can_i_continue_to_live_like_this/
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I tell myself Iāll stop when I get to 110, but I know Iām just gonna want to get to 105. And then what happens? Iāll want to get to 100. Never eating enough, never eating food I want, Iāll never do it. But the alternative of getting fat and ugly and losing control is worse. Itās like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Stuck in an endless vicious cycle of fearing/not wanting recovery but hating living like this.
Trying to get out of a binge and restrict cycle
/u/spaghetttios [5'3| CW 110| 19.5 | GW 104 | UWG 88 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 18:15:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97xmqo/trying_to_get_out_of_a_binge_and_restrict_cycle/
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the last days have been tough, I lost all progress by getting back to my old measurements due to b/ping so that sucks, currently Im fasting so wish me luck
triggered at the hospital
/u/parislucy
Created: Thu Aug 16 18:08:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97xkqb/triggered_at_the_hospital/
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I have to go to the hospital a lot for my mother's chronic back pain/blood problem/plethora of other issues and every time I go I always see somebody who has the exact figure i want. it makes me feel so shitty because 1) they may have a life-threatening illness. 2) they may have an eating disorder 3) i'm actually disgusting. anyone else relate?
Co Worker is my motivation
/u/skeletonne18
Created: Thu Aug 16 17:54:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97xgvm/co_worker_is_my_motivation/
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I feel terrible :( but just watching her 10 minutes ago grab two donuts, a muffin, a cookie and a slice of cheese cake literally sorta disgusted me. She told me how she ate a whole McDonalds 4 Burger family box breaking her keto diet she was on for like 2 weeks and I felt even more grossed out. I guess itās because I can see my inner binger in her :/
Shameful bulimic / BED / C+S things
/u/BEDBulimic
Created: Thu Aug 16 17:49:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97xfpm/shameful_bulimic_bed_cs_things/
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- Having the self-resolve to chuck out your binge food, but to come crawling back and eating it out of the garbage like a trash bandicoot
- Clearing out all the empty wrappers and bad food from the hidden stashes in your room once a month
- Rejoicing at stray coins so now you can buy more food and itās technically not a waste of money
- Eating something spicy and already knowing how much youāre gonna regret it when you purge later but you eat it anyway because youāre in that binge haze
- That feeling when it feels like vomitās halfway stuck up your throat and you wanna purge more but you canāt and all you get is a pool of saliva
- When you nail how to purge in a public bathroom quietly
- When you purge and not even 30 mins later you go back to eating more food
- The satisfying when you c/s and feel the weight of the c/sād food in the bag... somehow cancels out your sore jaw muscles
[Rant/Rave] I can lose the weight but Iāll never be pretty.
/u/speedayyyy
Created: Thu Aug 16 17:31:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97xb7d/i_can_lose_the_weight_but_ill_never_be_pretty/
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Iām such an idiot. I was browsing the subreddit goddesses because I like making myself feel like shit I guess. Iāll never have a pretty face. Iām so fucking ugly and fat that I donāt even deserve to be alive. Sigh.
What's your experience with fasting?
/u/derealizationescape
Created: Thu Aug 16 17:28:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97xac9/whats_your_experience_with_fasting/
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I know it's silly, but I've been really hesitant about fasting. There's no particular reason why, I just feel nervous when I think about it. I ate 900 cals today though so I think I should fast for at least one day. Anyways, I wanted to hear your experiences. Any tips are appreciated <3
[Rant/Rave] For the first time in years i finally said no to greasy food!
/u/Terah_crow
Created: Thu Aug 16 17:21:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97x8kx/for_the_first_time_in_years_i_finally_said_no_to/
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So, for the last few years I fell off, binging everyday, sometimes looking for an excuse to eat. It was getting to a point where just smelling something good would make me hungry and want to eat. Ordering takeout, etc. You get the idea. In the last three an half years since moving away from my ex I've gained I think 40 pounds. My ex also had an Ed, so it was so easy to restrict. After breaking up and moving across the country I fell into a different kind of depression that made me want to eat anything, like I said at first.
Well TODAY for the first time I not only said no to the greasy breakfast sandwiches they sell by my bus stop, but I ALSO turned down free pizza/bread sticks at work. I haven't even gone so far as to hit up the office commissary.
It feels like a game changer. Like maybe I do have some semblance of self control after all.
Tldr; after three years I finally had some self control and denied food I didn't need.
[Rant/Rave] We both hate food now
/u/beetobeeme
Created: Thu Aug 16 17:00:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97x2qa/we_both_hate_food_now/
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My girlfriend and I feed off each other in the worst ways.
For her I think it started with her seeing an Ayurvedic doctor who told her to cut out a lot of food in her diet for whatever wacko health advice that was. She was already just under 100 and now hovering around 85-90 six months later. I resent what that doctor told to her and she is obviously struggling with food.
On the other hand I have always fluctuated a lot. I EC stack and do a lot of other shitty things to lose a bunch of weight before going back to binging again. She's definitely noticed a said a few things that I've also brushed off. My cycle continues...
It's funny because at one point we both loved food. We lived in moderation, but enjoyed everything from crepes to pancakes to burgers to steaks. Now we both hardly eat and enjoy the 'oh I'm not hungry for dinner, are you?' dinners over a small bowl of steamed veggies.
[Discussion] Anyone else have partners with ED too?
/u/beetobeeme
Created: Thu Aug 16 16:49:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97wzrw/anyone_else_have_partners_with_ed_too/
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[removed]
IObit Uninstaller Pro 8.0.2.19 Crack + Serial Key is Here
/u/aryan167
Created: Thu Aug 16 16:29:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97wu3t/iobit_uninstaller_pro_80219_crack_serial_key_is/
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http://crackfullreal.com/iobit-uninstaller-pro-8-0-2-19-serial-key/
Water fasting vs low restriction
/u/swolepursedog
Created: Thu Aug 16 16:25:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97wt37/water_fasting_vs_low_restriction/
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What do you guys find easier? I find low restriction (under 400-500) easier, and itās easier to be active on it, and after all is said and done the weight loss pace isnāt too drastically different once you account for the water weight/food gain after a water fast
[Rant/Rave] I love mushrooms
/u/n34543 [5'5 | CW: 127 | 21.1 | GW: 117 ]
Created: Thu Aug 16 16:15:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97wqd7/i_love_mushrooms/
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You don't even have to sautƩ them in oil?? They have enough water and they don't stick or anything? And all you have to do is clean them, cut them, and thrown them in a pan?? Why the hell have I not known about this until now? Same with literally every other vegetable. Goodbye binging on grapes hello veggie binge.
Also is it weird that I don't mind plain cooked mushrooms? Bland food is great.
vMix 21.0.0.55 Download For Windows with Crack
/u/aryan167
Created: Thu Aug 16 16:00:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97wly4/vmix_210055_download_for_windows_with_crack/
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http://crackfullreal.com/vmix-21-0-0-55-download/
Am I allowed to be happy?
/u/ManWithTheHands
Created: Thu Aug 16 15:55:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97wkjc/am_i_allowed_to_be_happy/
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Im trying, for the sake of my friends and girlfriend, to get better at eating enough, but I simply can't force myself to eat that much, and i need to take it slow, but I'm still unhealthily losing weight, is it shitty of me to be happy that I'm still losing weight?
[Rant/Rave] Humiliated by my mother again: #17285
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8" | CW: 130.0 & BMI: 20.1 | GW:115 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 15:36:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97wf6l/humiliated_by_my_mother_again_17285/
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Iām minding my own business making some rice and Iām so excited to eat it. So Iām going to go sit down and wait for it to finish cooking and as Iām walking past my mom she tells me: āwow your shorts fit for onceā. I guess Iām not having rice now ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
[Rant/Rave] I threw out a half-full jar of peanut butter today
/u/2worried2care [5'6" | CW 123.4 lb | BMI 19.9 | 26F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 15:30:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97wdj5/i_threw_out_a_halffull_jar_of_peanut_butter_today/
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Iām annoyed because I just wasted my own money but I canāt be trusted with peanut butter in the house anymore. Iāve b/pāed it 3 times this week already. So after I purged today, with my stomach aching, I threw the whole jar in the dumpster outside, along with a jar of cookie spread and white chocolate chips. I hesitated briefly and considered taking āone last spoonfulā of the cookie spread before tossing it but I powered through and forced myself to do it.
Physically, I feel drained and sad and exhausted. Today is one of those days where I recognize that I am not actually in control here. But I feel better knowing the temptation is gone. Iām drinking some tea and I wonāt eat again until tomorrow. Hereās hoping tomorrow is better.
[Goal] I havenāt felt hungry in two days and i think i might fast until my GW
/u/billiedove [5'8 | 114 | 17.3 | Who even knows anymore | F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 15:19:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97waij/i_havent_felt_hungry_in_two_days_and_i_think_i/
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In fact I feel bloated.
Yesterday I didnāt eat but I drank quite copiously (so calories, but still, no nutrients to speak of) and then today I didnāt eat. Normally iād be ravenous. Iād eat everything in sight, especially after a night out. It lowers my self control. But not this time. I feel fine. I feel focused. My stomach feels... neutral.
I gained 10 pounds in two months and I intend to lose it.
Anybody fast for extended periods? How long does it take to lose 10 pounds? Is this insane? So many questions.
[Rant/Rave] gained 12 pounds in 2 months
/u/palespirit [20F | 5'3" | CW: 103 lbs | GW: 95 lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 16 15:08:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97w73g/gained_12_pounds_in_2_months/
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well... Iāve binged nearly every day for 2 months and Iām up 12 pounds. I was waiting for the water weight and everything else to fall off, but it turns out itās real weight gain. I need to get back on track but feeling fat is a major binge trigger for me š why is it so hard to restrict now when it was so easy just a couple months ago :(
[Rant/Rave] Body dysmorphia is a bitch
/u/shonamairead [5'6 | CW - 145lbs | GW - 120| -16lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 15:02:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97w5cw/body_dysmorphia_is_a_bitch/
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Iāve literally lost 16 lbs and I still feel like I look exactly the same. My clothes are so much fucking bigger and donāt fit me anymore but I still look in the mirror like whoās that fat bitch? Oh itās me! Iām so tired of this stupid fucking illness
My ED loves my grandma
/u/litzy808
Created: Thu Aug 16 15:00:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97w4oe/my_ed_loves_my_grandma/
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No point to this really, just wanted to share something I noticed this summer when I was visiting my grandparents in Poland. TDLR at the bottom.
You all know the stereotype of grandparents stuffing everyone with as much food as possible any chance they get? Well, my grandma aināt like that. She was already aware of my restricted diet (my parents have gotten crazy about it recently and told her) and I was prepared to refuse a huge amount of food. To my surprise, she was so incredibly understanding. My grandad kept offering me loads of meat and cheese (Iām vegan and lactose intolerant) and she just kept refusing it for me. I didnāt even have to say no to anything, she did it for me.
All through the holiday, various family members insisted on telling me that I need to eat more, that Iāve lost too much weight (I havenāt). The great thing? Again, I didnāt have to say anything, my grandma would tell them to leave me be, I would eat as much as I was comfortable with, and I would keep to the weight I was happy with. It gave me a warm, proud feeling every time she said that, I havenāt felt this supported in so long.
You will never read this grandma, but thank you for giving me and my ED a proper holiday.
TDLR: I love my grandma for being supportive and not stuffing me with food that would make me uncomfortable. Quality Nan
Does anyone else have a super small head and feel like they need to stay underweight/borderline to look proportionate?
/u/pinkskyvillain
Created: Thu Aug 16 14:31:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97vwct/does_anyone_else_have_a_super_small_head_and_feel/
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Iām 5ā4 and 110 lbs, and I swear sometimes even childrenās hats and sunglasses are too big on my face.
[Other] Low restriction? I don't know her
/u/CharlieJScarper [5'0.5" | CW 91.9lbs | BMI 17.6 | FTM]
Created: Thu Aug 16 14:28:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97vvbw/low_restriction_i_dont_know_her/
---
https://i.redd.it/kiqzkfq0mig11.jpg
Made my first ever road trip without absolutely gorging myself on food!
/u/Snflrr [5'9| CW 245| GW 130| LW -25| Trans F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 14:09:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97vpmd/made_my_first_ever_road_trip_without_absolutely/
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I planned ahead, stocked up on Lara bars and a fuckload of 0cal Monster and Arizona Tea, and managed to drive for 600 miles and 12 hours without going over 800cal. I'm actually proud of myself for once. It's weird.
[Rant/Rave] Never-ending cravings, hunger, and stuffing my face with butter (oh my..)
/u/billionsofatoms [5'4"|Walrus|LW: 95lb|GW: 88lb|F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 14:01:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97vmsy/neverending_cravings_hunger_and_stuffing_my_face/
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How to deal with cravings and hunger???
They're killing everything, my attempts towards any progress, I eat so much and I am not satiated and it's driving me crazy. I used to be SOO SO so good at this, and after recovery I cannot get back to successful long time restriction without ending up stuffing my gaping maw.
**I tried most common things:** aurantium+caffeine pills (no ECA here in Europe so this is the next "best" thing), glucomannan pills to give me that full sensation, coffees, diet soda, sugar free chewing gum, teas (green, black, some other "skinny" teas), broth, planning meals the night before, eating high volume low calorie meals - salads and veggie stews, ACV water, plenty of water, generally high fiber - apart from veggies and high fiber crackers or bread I mix some psyllium husk in different stuff such as oatmeal, different supplements - I'm taking a B complex, D3, magnesium, multivitamin. Also non-ingesting kind of things: painting my nails, cleaning the house, watching YT videos, playing video games, BUT I. JUST. KEEP. EATING. I EAT WHILE PAINTING MY NAILS!!! It's slightly better when I'm at work, because I manage to not eat that much but once I get home.... š
ššš
My body keeps craving dumb things, such as butter and bread. Last week continuously, I gave in to butter and bread. Also, not any kind of bread, but the whole grain, rye with seeds kind. You can obviously imagine apart from all the other things eaten, how this skyrocketed my calorie intake. Apart from this, I just never feel satiated. I just...need something...to keep this hunger and cravings away, because I am too weak obviously to just do it by my own will.
And nobody is helping either, because people at work know my history, they instantly freak out if I skip a meal or the meal is too "unimpressive" like salad or runny oatmeal.
[Discussion] Periods
/u/swankarma [5'5 | CW: 126 | 20.9 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 13:49:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97vj7p/periods/
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So i assume some of you donāt get your periods anymore, and i was wondering how long you restricted before you stopped getting yours, and if it only happened when you were underweight.
Sleepy all the time
/u/bogsoonga
Created: Thu Aug 16 13:41:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97vgsj/sleepy_all_the_time/
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Anyone have any advice on not feeling sleepy all the time? Currently taking ephedrine, caffeine, plenty of electrolytes (around 4000 mg of sodium in addition to other electrolytes), a multivitamin, a B12 supplement and yet Iām still fucking sleepy.
Iām literally not hungry at all thanks to the ephedrine and because of the electrolytes, I donāt have any headaches and minimal dizziness so Iām currently fasting. Looking for something low calorie thatāll give me a significant energy boost. (Donāt wanna eat since Iām not hungry but will force myself for energy lmao)
[Rant/Rave] Am I allowed to do a lil bitching about a sub?
/u/eatmysnailtrail
Created: Thu Aug 16 13:39:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97vg97/am_i_allowed_to_do_a_lil_bitching_about_a_sub/
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I just started to do an aerial class, itās so challenging but rewarding! I want to have a progression that is not crazy slow. Iām not the strongest so after some googling and redditing I found that it is recommended to do the recommended routine at /r/bodyweightfitness. I had a question, so I posted it on the daily questions page for beginners. Someone replied, saying āread the faq, youāre doing it wrongā, and downvoted my comment. Like? I have read it. Thatās why I posted here! I didnāt find what I needed on the faq! It felt really rude. Maybe Iām a crybaby bitch but like, I donāt need some jerk to essentially tell me to fuck off on a beginnerās questions thread. I deleted my comment and reread the faq and still am not sure how tf to do an L sit properly.
[Help] Slow heart rate, no energy, lethargic
/u/gabrielepfr
Created: Thu Aug 16 13:22:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97vazd/slow_heart_rate_no_energy_lethargic/
---
I woke up feeling super tired today, and food didn't help at all.
I have 500-650 cals a day (oatmeal, veg, fish, broth, apples), and I usually feel fine, got enough energy, don't really get hungry.
I had to spend the whole day laying around because of this.
Have you got any tips so I can avoid this happening again? Maybe there's something else I should be eating?
Oh, and I do take multivitamins, fish oil, enough water etc. I din't think my diet lacks anything in terms of nutrition. My BMI isn't that bad, either.
Thanks a lot for your help in advance <3
[Discussion] *Trigger Warning* Is anyone else doing this to die, or hoping it kills them? Have you just given up and stopped caring?
/u/cookingwine2
Created: Thu Aug 16 13:17:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97v9eq/trigger_warning_is_anyone_else_doing_this_to_die/
---
This is super depressing, and I feel terrible for feeling this way, but sometimes I hope I die from my eating disorder. I hope it kills me, because life is too overwhelming at times and I have no desire to live (I was diagnosed with Bipolar, not really something to be proud of).
Other times, I get scared for my life and think about how devastated everyone would be if I were to die. Iāll get anxious at the slightest change in heartbeat, or feeling faint, scared that this is the last moment, āis this where it ends?ā.
I hope someone else feels this way. And please, donāt get mad at me if you donāt agree, I know itās fucked up to think this way.
[Rant/Rave] Great now I have to wait till tomorrow to eat
/u/handzies
Created: Thu Aug 16 13:16:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97v96m/great_now_i_have_to_wait_till_tomorrow_to_eat/
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I'm an unreliable ass hat! Im a gosh darn pooshoo! I haven't been here in a while because I've been in "recovery" so health, v wow!
But naturally I'm back at it. Just a lot fatter. 145 pounds. Makes me want to C R Y.
I have been trying to keep things kinda reasonable. Cereal for lunch, salad for dinner sometimes, and gym. Every day for a week. TILL TODAY MY ASS BUYS T W O B A G S OF GUMMY BEARS AND ATE THEM A L L.
Hot Dang I even had salad prepped for dinner now I can't eat till tomorrow. Oof. Ouch.
Side note: I made a post with this accound the other day that ended up with lots of attention and I'm very sorry if I caused weird traffic on this sub š„
How do the naturally skinny people you know eat?
/u/swolepursedog
Created: Thu Aug 16 13:06:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97v5q6/how_do_the_naturally_skinny_people_you_know_eat/
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I find that 9 times out of 10 they just donāt eat a lot. The only one exception I can think of was during the teenage years.
One guy I know is 5ā8ā and 110-115 lbs. He never eats breakfast and eats once or twice a day. During the weekdays he often only eats lunch (fast food--says he eats 2 burgers and a soda, or a couple slices of pizza with garlic knots). When we go out to eat together I notice he picks at his food and doesnāt eat a ton.
I assume heās naturally uninterested in food but sometimes I wonder if thereās an element of intentional disordered eating to his habits
What about the people you know?
Anyone else care more about portions than pure calories?
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Thu Aug 16 12:46:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97uzkc/anyone_else_care_more_about_portions_than_pure/
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For instants I'd rather eat 300 calories of spinach dip instead of 4 cups of raw spinach. I tend to fear more the portion of food instead of the calorie count exactly. When I only eat like one or two chips with dip I feel dainty and in control, Even if the calories are the same as a ton of vegetables. Not saying I don't love vegetables and when I'm SUPER hungry I'll eat a whole cucumber or 2 cups of broccoli. But in general it's more small bits of calorie dense stuff. It also seems less suspicious if you have to eat around family like me, Nobody is going to question me eating half a hamburger but they will if I skip completely out of them
[Discussion] Anyone else at a plateau?
/u/Nutellapples
Created: Thu Aug 16 12:38:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ux6f/anyone_else_at_a_plateau/
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I'm stuck. Been stuck for almost 2 month now. Either slowly losing or not losing at all , makes me feel horrible.
[Discussion] Would I be the asshole?
/u/Sarahsj44
Created: Thu Aug 16 12:31:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97uut5/would_i_be_the_asshole/
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Little background: my boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months, for a month we were in a regular relationship but we are currently in a LDR. My boyfriend barely knows anything about calories and calorie intake etc etc. Heās always been fit due to constant training as a kid/teen so he never really cared about calories.
So a month into the relationship my boyfriend said he canāt watch me slowly kill myself yada yada and told me to eat 1200 calories a day. Obviously, compared to how I usually eat that was a lot but I didnāt want to cause issues and I saw where he was coming from, and obviously Iād still lose eating that much so I agreed. Now, 4 months later, just about a week ago we were discussing my breakfast, which was 2 eggs and half a bagel. I told him it was a good filling breakfast to which he said, āthatās a good breakfast to you?ā and then suggested that a good breakfast was TWO bagels, and 2 eggs, āa bagel for each eggā. I told him that a bagel is 310 calories and if I had two PLUS the eggs, Iād be having over half my intake just for breakfast, so he said that he wants me to eat well and view food as more than just calories, so he asked me to start eating 2200 calories a day, I argued a bit but consented in the end. So today I found out my maintenance was 2120, and told him that I want to eat that much instead so I donāt gain weight, and after telling him that he went āso 1200 was extremely low?ā
We discussed it a bit, and apparently he didnāt know that 1200 would make me lose and he said he wants me to gain, and he asked me to eat between 2500 and 3000 calories a day.
My boyfriend doesnāt force me to do what he says but when it comes to my eating and I donāt eat as much as he asks me to he gets angry, which is reasonable and rightful, and obviously I donāt like angering him so I always have to eat as much. However, Iām genuinely not mentally prepared to be consuming that much, I really would rather die. So would I be the asshole if I agreed to eating 2500-3000 calories a day, but didnāt to avoid him being angry?
[Rant/Rave] Im finally out of the 170s!
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Thu Aug 16 12:24:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97uslt/im_finally_out_of_the_170s/
---
I'm 169, I'll take it! Haha, I'm never going back to the 70s again, I promise myself this. I have had such a hard time getting the scale to budge from 170 for so long, this has given me such a boost.
Also is it bad that my friend just keeps getting fatter and it's making me thrive?? Like it's my own motivation, to be skinnier than her by the end of the year. I feel terrible but at the same time we both compete over weight loss all the time. We both know about each other's eds and we both fuel each other. Bleh. Sorry for rambling, thanks for reading.
Does anyone else work in an office with tons of free food?
/u/mks_993
Created: Thu Aug 16 12:21:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97urnq/does_anyone_else_work_in_an_office_with_tons_of/
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I HATE IT. Today thereās pizza, pasta, rolls, and earlier there were donuts/muffins/bagels.
I guess itās a good exercise of my willpower but damn do I want to eat all of it
[Help] intermittent fasting / day off
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 12:20:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97urc2/intermittent_fasting_day_off/
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I KNOW this is a silly question but it is giving me massive anxiety and I thought maybe all you kind beautiful people could help quell it. I have been IF (23:1/Keto omad) for almost two weeks now, I got my period today and Iām not sure if thatās to blame but I get super weak and caved and had a quest bar for lunch. Iāll still come in under on my macros and calories, but my question is, will this have any negative consequences? Again, I know this is ridiculous and part of me knows it should be fine but I feel terrible and would love some reassurance.
Wtf the salad lied to me
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Thu Aug 16 12:10:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97unys/wtf_the_salad_lied_to_me/
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I bought my lunch from pret today which I hardly ever do and I went for a salad. They have calorie information on the prices so I found something which said "185 calories". Wow! I thought to myself, that looks so delicious for so little calories....
Well guess what? Thats because the fuckers displayed the per 100g value not the full portion value. I only found this out AFTER I scoffed it down thinking... avocado... pine nuts... parmesan... this is crazy that it's only 185.
Fuuuuuck
Just below 700!!!!!
It was too late to purge when I found out, so I'm just going to have gin for dinner and fall asleep crying
How much Bronkaid without dying?
/u/miss_erica_court
Created: Thu Aug 16 12:04:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97um6x/how_much_bronkaid_without_dying/
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Just tried Bronkaid for the first time last week. Annnndd I've taken it every day since.
I have a really high caffeine tolerance, so I haven't felt like I'm gonna die or anything. Just super focused and productive. Oh, and down like 7 pounds lol. I'm taking two a day. I'm gonna be fine right?
Ex trying to stifle my newly found weight loss motivation.
/u/ketopraylove10
Created: Thu Aug 16 11:49:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97uhnx/ex_trying_to_stifle_my_newly_found_weight_loss/
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I killed it at the gym. 1 hour of cardio, 1 hour of lifting. I was at a 500 calorie total deficit for the day. I felt really good. I sent a snap of my cardio calorie blasting to my ex and a few others. I was so proud of myself. My ex responds with, āYou know I walk a shit load and I still have a really hard time losing weight.ā
Heās notorious for shooting my horse. Always has been. Some kind of irretrievable notion that I need to be ācheckedā. This has been almost a week ago and I canāt get it out of my head.
Iām trying to turn it into fuel. Heās just that person that gets under my skin, long after he should be able to. Positive or negative.
[Rant/Rave] Something clicked today
/u/Heartfeltregret
Created: Thu Aug 16 11:46:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97uglb/something_clicked_today/
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Alright, this is a legit good day, I think! Iāve been thinking this whole summer that I havenāt changed at all, even though Iāve lost almost 15 pounds, but today after I weighed myself and looked in the mirror I got this āOH SHIT! I LOOK *BETTER*!ā I feel like people will definitely notice when I get back to school, and Iām feeling super motivated now. Iām not exactly thrilled with my current body, but I feel a lot less like all this is a lost cause, lol. Iām well aware this feeling is def temporary, but one good day is a lot better than zero!
[Discussion] I just want to thank everyone Iāve talked to on here and the people that have helped me.
/u/kayasawyer [ 4'11 | 100 | 18.5 | 20 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 11:19:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97u85k/i_just_want_to_thank_everyone_ive_talked_to_on/
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Youāre all so kind and I hope today is a good day for you all. You all deserve it. Thank you again. I donāt know where I would be without the kind natured people Iāve met on here. So yeah, thank you!
[Discussion] DAE have the inability to accept/believe compliments?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 š» CW: 93lbs š» 21F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 11:05:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97u3sv/dae_have_the_inability_to_acceptbelieve/
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So yesterday was my boyfriendās grandmotherās wake and HUNDREDS of people were there.
As we were greeting people this one old lady looked at me like I had 9 heads, and then her face just absolutely lit up. She looked at me straight in the eyes (literally into my soul lol) and was like āYouāre so beautiful.ā
She then turned to my boyfriend and was like āYou picked a good one, sheās so beautiful!ā
Later that night, I was having self esteem issues and my boyfriend reminded me of the old ladyās kind words. For some reason, I just donāt believe her. My immediate thought was āoh, sheās an old lady she probably says that to everyone.ā
This happens all the time. Iām constantly told Iām pretty, skinny, good at cooking, good at art, etc. and I just. I donāt know. I feel like everyone is lying to me or just trying to be nice.
Does anyone else experience this?
Our official calling card...
/u/Bridget6th [5'8" | CW135 | 20.5 | UGW119 | 33F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 10:36:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97tulj/our_official_calling_card/
---
https://imgur.com/Gy4oqul
[Discussion] Your current body measurements vs your ideal body measurements?
/u/0seagirl [5'5 | 125 lbs | bmi 20.8 | 32 lbs lost | f]
Created: Thu Aug 16 09:53:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97th0a/your_current_body_measurements_vs_your_ideal_body/
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Current:
35 - 27 - 40
Ideal: (yup I know this is impossible but we're dreaming here)
37 - 23 - 37
...approx. :)
[Discussion] Television/Movies?
/u/klfet
Created: Thu Aug 16 09:42:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97tdw6/televisionmovies/
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Does anyone have any recommendations for TV shows or movies that show eating disorders?
I have watched To The Bone already.
I would prefer something that the story focused on it, but open to options and opinions.
Thanks :)
my mom just triggered the SHIT out of me
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 108|16.9|UGW: 105|F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 09:30:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ta42/my_mom_just_triggered_the_shit_out_of_me/
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i love my mom more than anything but what the fuck lol. on the way back from a long car ride she stopped in the mickey d's drive thru and ordered one plain hamburger, yknow, the 80 cent ones. she ate that and nothing else and when we got home, her boyfriend offered her some dinner and she clutched her stomach and was like "i'm soooo full, i won't be able to eat anything for the rest of the night" it was 8 pm????? i swear to god she does not have an ED or ED tendencies but she's really thin (healthy weight tho) and that just set me off. i used to eat four of those in one sitting AND fries as a single meal!!! what the fuuuuuck why am i such an insatiable pig
dating feels impossible
/u/kurtisskinny [165cm | CW 155 | BMI 25.8 | ? | 21F:cake:]
Created: Thu Aug 16 09:10:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97t3vt/dating_feels_impossible/
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over the past few years I've developed a friendship with this guy who literally checks every box of what I'm looking for and I find him incredibly attractive. I feel like I can tell him anything and last night we hung out and started to kiss but I just turned so stiff and uncomfortable, its like my body goes into a panic whenever someone touches me intimately because I'm so insecure, and I'm 5 days into a water fast so its not like I was even bloated. Because we're such good friends I did end up telling him about the ED and how much it affects my life. I wouldn't have if he was someone I recently met but we've been friends for long enough that I felt I could trust him and also wanted him to know that me acting so strange when we kissed wasn't because of him.
I hate this so much, I wish I could just relax but it literally feels like i'm made of cement when I try to get close to people. sigh.
"You don't need to lose more weight."
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Thu Aug 16 08:56:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97szoh/you_dont_need_to_lose_more_weight/
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Well, you could stand to lose some, so I don't give a shit what you think.
I'm not hungry enough today, so I assume I overate on my calories yesterday.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Thu Aug 16 08:49:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97sxop/im_not_hungry_enough_today_so_i_assume_i_overate/
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Because God knows that not being man-lost-in-wilderness-for-a-week-without-food hungry means I'm gonna get fat.
[Discussion] Fourth Date on Saturday... but I just want to restrict
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1 | CW 197 | BMI 26 |WL: -173 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 16 08:49:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97sxno/fourth_date_on_saturday_but_i_just_want_to/
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TL; DR: I'm stressed about having to eat on an upcoming date on Saturday. I am posting this to prevent myself from eating too much on Saturday.
I've gone out with this girl three times and our fourth date is Saturday. The first 2 dates I was not restricting and the third date we cooked together at her place, so the calories stayed pretty low. But Saturday we are doing a longer date and I'm super worried I'm going to be in a position where I have to eat/drink too many calories. I should be able to keep myself still below maintenance calories, but out of the perfect range. I'm really worried this will trigger a binge. I'm also a bit worried about how I'll perform sexually because I've been restricting pretty hard (which might make other things less so...).
I'm contemplating canceling the date, but think that is probably not super smart. But mostly I'm just posting this to create a public commitment to not go crazy. Thanks!
Low-Cal Keto for Entertaining?
/u/SlutForGarrus [5ā6ā|CW:148|HW:240lbs|GW1:130|GW2:118|F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 08:47:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97swyl/lowcal_keto_for_entertaining/
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Hereās my conundrum. I respect the need for protein, but am strictly a calorie-counter. We are having guests who are doing Keto. I want to chuck a pickle and a bag of tuna at them, because thatās correct, right? But Iām a good hostess and so help me god, I WILL make something yummy that everyone can eat instead of turning it into an awkward āthis is our food and that is your foodā shitshow.
So...do I just make low carb, high protein stuff and add a dollop of mayo to theirs? All the recipes Iām finding are so fat-laden I canāt deal. I *blew* last weekend (after almost two months of restricting like a boss), so I canāt just chill and have some extra calories again or Iāll be playing catch-up for *months*.
Thanks stomach flu
/u/Whose_cat_is_that
Created: Thu Aug 16 08:43:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97svm3/thanks_stomach_flu/
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Since nothing is staying in my body anyway, I had a whole XL pizza, a cake, a box of Oreos and whatever else I could find in my fridge. Iāve spent the rest of my day next to the bathroom but I feel much less guilty knowing itās all coming back out (without me causing it myself).
[Help] starbucks question
/u/peachypeachy9 [5'6.75" | CW: 136 | GW: 110 | F18]
Created: Thu Aug 16 08:32:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ssaf/starbucks_question/
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do i have to specify nonfat milk when i order a skinny drink, or is it automatically nonfat? i feel paranoid they put whole milk or something in it.
the label says Gr Icd Sk Syrp Lat, and specifies "Sf Vanilla" under it. why does it specify sugarfree vanilla but not the nonfat part...
really worried its bumping my calories from 80 to god knows how much šš
Current mood: Furiously running on the spot whilst cooking 2 hash browns to exceed my 3pm cal limit on.
/u/0seagirl [5'5 | 125 lbs | bmi 20.8 | 32 lbs lost | f]
Created: Thu Aug 16 08:20:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97some/current_mood_furiously_running_on_the_spot_whilst/
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Anyone else do this "running on the spot whilst cooking" bullshit thing?
I also do it while boiling the kettle.
It's driving me insane.
[Rant/Rave] Total shitpost
/u/SoylentGAhhItsPpl
Created: Thu Aug 16 08:20:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97sokw/total_shitpost/
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I am so hungry.
Jfc I am so hungry. *Obviously* I can't just eat like a normal human being. Because it's not about how much my stomach hurts and how tired I am.
Food will not fix this hunger. Sure I could have a piece of toast, a piece of toast won't hurt right? It's 100cal right?? Another toast shape lump of fat on my thighs well fuck that.
Man I'm sorry but I do not get what you guys mean about feeling light headed and ethereal when you fast. I feel like my body is shredding itself up. I have no energy for exercise, it's going to fuck up my grades, I feel angry and weak
TL;DR. :(
[Rant/Rave] literally first song on that mf shuffle play... pegged
/u/Rhyanon [5'7" | cw:scared to look | bmi:idk | lost:not enough | ugw:120]
Created: Thu Aug 16 08:11:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97slxo/literally_first_song_on_that_mf_shuffle_play/
---
https://i.redd.it/6e2u8uppqgg11.png
Scales
/u/cherryxnut
Created: Thu Aug 16 08:03:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97sjln/scales/
---
So I used a set of scales at my dads house, and they were great. Bought myself the exact set and they just donāt work in my house. Iāve got no hard floors, and maybe the lino is too spongey? So I bought a mechanical set. The display is so small I can barely see it, and I canāt track the pounds accurately. Iām really stressing about it. I suppose I should just be concerned with the scales going down, but not knowing the specifics is bothering me. Anyone else like this???
[Rant/Rave] OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO POOP
/u/Thtcrazygiraffe
Created: Thu Aug 16 07:55:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97shb7/oh_my_god_i_just_want_to_poop/
---
Iāve been high restricting lately and today decided to actually eat breakfast in hopes it would get my bowels moving so I ate a cliff bar (which usually clears me out) and CHUGGED coffee and for a second just now it felt like I was going to poop! But also NO and so now Iām typing this from the bathroom at work as Iām sir super constipated hoping that anything comes out :/
Idk maybe I should take a laxative just to clear myself out, anyone have recommendations?
[Discussion] Has anyone else dealt with both anorexia and binge eating disorder?
/u/sigvi
Created: Thu Aug 16 07:53:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97sgl0/has_anyone_else_dealt_with_both_anorexia_and/
---
I feel like I canāt find anyone with similar experiences to mine on this sub, or on r/BingeEatingDisorder. But there must be some of you out there. I donāt want to be alone.
I think my experiences with disordered eating have been like 30-40% anorexia and 60-70% binge eating. Iāve had long periods of restricting and Iāve had long periods of binge eating. Sometimes I sum up my history like: anorexia > orthorexia > binge eating. And then maybe a mix of everything.
Iāve been horribly skinny, ānormallyā skinny, and Iāve been average. Despite periods where Iāve binged almost every day for months and months, Iāve never been overweight. Just average. Thatās where I am now as well.
I donāt feel like I belong in any eating disorder community/support group. I donāt feel like Iām anorexic anymore. Itās been a long time since Iāve restricted for more than a couple of weeks. But I donāt feel like Iām just a binge eater either. Or maybe I am. Maybe a few days of restricting here and there donāt matter. Maybe Iām just afraid to admit that I just have a food addiction.
I donāt know what to call myself. Iām obsessed with being skinny but havenāt been skinny since 2016. Iām obsessed with eating as little as possible but can still binge eat for days. Whereās the logic to that? I know theyāre connected (restricting makes you binge), but still. It doesnāt make any sense. My biggest wish is to be skinny. I know how to get there, Iāve done it before. So why canāt I do it again?
This was a rant but if anyone can relate, please reply. Share your story if you want to. I just feel so alone in this and need to be reminded that there are people who understand.
[Help] Can you use water instead of oil for cooking?
/u/Dontloseyour-Ed [5ft | CW: 102lbs | BMI: 39 | GW: 86lbs | 16F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 07:45:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97sehr/can_you_use_water_instead_of_oil_for_cooking/
---
Not like deep frying but just if you need to cook chicken and usually you'd put about a tablespoon of oil in the pan.. can you use water instead? Thanks.
[Rant/Rave] Juat got back from vacation.
/u/AForeman17
Created: Thu Aug 16 07:35:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97sbsq/juat_got_back_from_vacation/
---
I went on vacation and had an amazing time. I weighed myself this morning and have gone into full panic attack mode. This is disgusting. I don't even see how my husband is even attracted to me. š I feel so lost and helpless.
I wish I could be the ~chill roommate~
/u/dizzy_flowers
Created: Thu Aug 16 07:15:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97s6p0/i_wish_i_could_be_the_chill_roommate/
---
[idk how to tag this but it's gonna be a little rant]
So my bf and I just moved in with some friends, two guys and a girl. Last night we were making some chicken pesto pasta for dinner which I'd prepared for. Everyone was in the kitchen while we were making it. On a whim my boyfriend decided to add a tiny bit of mushrooms sauteed in a WHOLE ASS stick of butter. I tried to be nonchalant "you sure we need that much butter buddy? haha". He just said "yep!" and dumped it in and I had to excuse myself bc I was literally about to cry.
Then from the kitchen I hear Girl Roommate joking about how "you can never have enough butter!!" and everyone laughing and cooking and being social. I hate this so much. I feel like an uptight bitch. I wish eating wasn't such a social necessity. The thought of this happening all the time is exhausting. How do y'all deal with roommates??
tldr my bf added some extra butter to our dinner, I freaked, girl roomie was super chill about it and I feel lame.
[Rant/Rave] Kind of sick of everything
/u/astralaries
Created: Thu Aug 16 07:09:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97s4y3/kind_of_sick_of_everything/
---
I just want to lay in bed and slowly die. I don't want to get up, go to work, eat, drink, nothing. I'm pretty much just screaming into the void but everything inside hurts.
My grandpa's doctor
/u/ElectricalDeer87 [5'8" | 139.0lbs | -13.6lbs | Goal: 95lbs | BMI 21.12 | 16F | Fat]
Created: Thu Aug 16 06:35:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97rw8f/my_grandpas_doctor/
---
My grandpa recently got really dangerously sick and as a result of healing he regularly sees a doctor now. I'm actually currently home with them in their home when she's still here.
The doctor weighed him, and he came to 58.8kg. LESS THAN ME? I FEEL ANGRY.
I also feel extremely disappointed in myself. :(
[Help] Underweight BMI, still seeing some fat.
/u/guttpa18ar
Created: Thu Aug 16 06:34:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97rvvv/underweight_bmi_still_seeing_some_fat/
---
I weighed myself this morning and finally reached an underweight BMI, 18.47. I notice that I am quite skinny and whatnot, but there still seems to be an amount of flab that I dislike. Especially right in the middle of my stomach. The sides of my stomach are very flat but there is a tiny bit of a pouch in the center of my stomach. Donāt get me wrong, itās not noticeable at all with clothes and is actually very small, but still irritating nonetheless. I am 5ā5(165 cm) and 111 lbs(50.3kg). Does anyone have any experience with this? I like that Iām underweight but am not lean to the degree I would like to be. Thank you!
[Rant/Rave] Donāt mind me chewing a piece of onion and going to the toilet to spit it out at this restaurant
/u/alonlioak
Created: Thu Aug 16 06:32:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97rvcq/dont_mind_me_chewing_a_piece_of_onion_and_going/
---
Not like I was polishing off entire packets of biscuits and pringles and chocolate weetabix yday!!
Lol I donāt even have a clear idea of what Iām trying to do anymore I just have these horrible habits, genuinely donāt know what the goals is anymore
I think I find eating normally boring at this point?! What is actually wrong with me omg
[Rant/Rave] I hate that Iām curvy
/u/chezpajama
Created: Thu Aug 16 06:18:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97rrxt/i_hate_that_im_curvy/
---
I have such a complex about my body type.
Iām tall and 34 H / 27 inch waist / 38 inch hips. I have the saddest pinkie width thigh gap and full upper thighs.
I canāt list my body type as thin, average or athletic. Iām not skinny. Average is like a size 16. Athletic to me means sporty / visible abs and very toned upper arms.
And curvy means fat. But in a nice way.
Iām back on the ED train after a few years and Iāve lost almost 30 lbs in not quite 3 months and I feel like itās not enough. Or like it should show more.
I blame my body type for the fact that Iāll never really be skinny. Like yeah, maybe compared to the āaverageā (ie; overweight) woman I am, but not really.
My original GW is only 10 lbs away (I want to be 5ā9 / 130) and i already know itās not going to be enough.
I just ordered a really precise new food scale. Iām definitely about to spiral and allow my ED to take over my life even more.
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support August 16, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 16 06:11:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97rqd8/weekly_emotional_support_august_16_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! August 16, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 16 06:10:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97rq59/daily_food_diary_august_16_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 16, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] Do you guys drink Diet Coke on fasts
/u/alonlioak
Created: Thu Aug 16 05:56:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97rmsf/do_you_guys_drink_diet_coke_on_fasts/
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Just wondering
Disabled and can't stop binging
/u/TheGlitterMahdi [5'4" | 190lbs | 33.25 | -100lbs | Dude]
Created: Thu Aug 16 05:43:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97rk06/disabled_and_cant_stop_binging/
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I messed my back up two weeks ago and have been stuck in my apartment by myself since. Can't work, can't go out, can't even clean. Have spent a ridiculous amount of money ordering fast food because I can't stand long enough to prep or cook and my safe foods are all gone by now.
I was 169.4 lbs when this started and this morning I was 176.0 and was so depressed about that that I binged until my stomach hurt, for the fourth time in 2 days.
I feel disgusting and I wish there was someone IRL who knew what this was like so I could talk about how gross I feel and have someone help negatively motivate me to stop eating because negative motivation is all that works for that. And I'm pretty sure that's fucked up.
I am hating myself so bad right now. Pretty sure I'm already over my calories for today and it's not even 8 AM. I haven't been this heavy in weeks and it makes me want to die. I was 4 lbs away from my next goal and now I'm 11 lbs away and it feels awful. I feel fatter right now than I did at 300.
I hate this and I'm sorry for whining I just don't have anyone IRL to talk to about this.
How can I get a flatter stomach in a week?
/u/ImKindaABitchOops
Created: Thu Aug 16 05:38:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97rj0v/how_can_i_get_a_flatter_stomach_in_a_week/
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I agreed to go to my best friends party next week and the dress I ordered makes my stomach look massive and my butt look flat.
How can I change this in a week? Even if itās a little change itās still gonna help in the long run. Any exercise regimes or diets?
[Other] [Article] The Big Crash Diet Experiment review ā does dramatic calorie reduction work?
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 177.2 | 30.9 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 05:10:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97rd06/article_the_big_crash_diet_experiment_review_does/
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https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2018/may/30/the-big-crash-diet-experiment-review-does-dramatic-calorie-reduction-work
Kind of relieved I got that binge out of the way
/u/onthewaydownnn [25F | 5'7" | ā¼ 30 lbs | ā½ 18 lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 16 04:52:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97r92s/kind_of_relieved_i_got_that_binge_out_of_the_way/
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Anyone else feel like that after a big binge? Iād been letting things slide, and somehow got away with eating a few extremely high calorie meals last week while still losing (thank you extended fasting) and I got so off track that I just decided to binge yesterday morning and it lasted allllll morning. 8-130 pm just straight eating. Eff me.
But I went to sleep early at like 6:30 pm, woke up at 4 am for the gym as usual, and while I gained a shit ton of weight (138 to 144 LAWL) I know most of it is water, and Iāll be back in the 130ās by Monday at the latest. And Iām really relieved itās done and over with and I can go back to restricting.
This time, no slipping because itās the small slips that make justifying a binge later that much easier. Gotta stick to my schedule - Black coffee at breakfast, 250 cal lunch at 12:00 and a 250 cal dinner at 5:00. Tea, Netflix, bed at 8:00 pm. If I stay in that routine religiously, I slip into this easy stream of effortlessness and see results like crazy.
Anywho, thatās me on a Thursday š¤¦š»āāļø
Something I don't understand
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Thu Aug 16 04:35:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97r5ta/something_i_dont_understand/
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So I'm a teen girl, due to some food issues I'm having. I don't understand something, though- I eat like 1600-1700 calories a day just to maintain my weight. I don't do any exercise (just walk everyday, but that burns like 150 calories tops). TDEE calculators also say I should eat 1650-1750 calories a day to maintain. But I read about so many heavier, taller women (like on celebrities) who apparently eat only 1300-1400 calories a day, to maintain! They are all taller and heavier and more active than I am... I don't understand. (this article:https://www.thetalko.com/how-many-calories-these-15-celebs-actually-eat-in-a-day/) It makes me feel really guilty and lazy... how does this work?
[Discussion] Well dam! Saves me making my own!
/u/glitchydowner
Created: Thu Aug 16 04:21:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97r37g/well_dam_saves_me_making_my_own/
---
https://i.redd.it/iil2zhnplfg11.jpg
Restricting and not weighing
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Thu Aug 16 03:45:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97qw9u/restricting_and_not_weighing/
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Another layer of weird control to add to the list. I'm restricting heavily but not allowing myself a chance to weigh myself (1st September I can)
Some days I can feel the difference others I feel like I'm gaining. It's driving me insane but I think it's good motivation to keep pushing myself.
I feel like I'm avoiding the urge to binge by doing this.
[Discussion] Favorite low cal snacks to eat in mass quantities?
/u/Sockapoodledoo [5'4 | CW: 125 | GW: 115 | 25F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 03:26:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97qt0g/favorite_low_cal_snacks_to_eat_in_mass_quantities/
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...that feel guilty but arenāt. Not fruit or veggies.
Like, what food can I sit down and eat a whole damn bag of and still be under 400 calories for the day? Lol.
So that way I can feel like Iām binging and stuffing my face but in reality Iām still restricting calories. āØ
[Discussion] Anyone else worried that the people at your grocery have noticed your weird eating habits?
/u/zsobotka
Created: Thu Aug 16 03:05:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97qp4f/anyone_else_worried_that_the_people_at_your/
---
Seriously, I cannot count how many times I've bought muffins and pizza at 10 pm and then gone back for veggies and fruits the next morning.
I honestly hope that the staff DGAF.
[Rant/Rave] Fuck guys
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | CW: 68kg | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 03:00:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97qo6u/fuck_guys/
---
I promised my friend I would order pizza with her tonight (pineapple + jalapeƱo yasss) because I planned on not eating today but then I ended up getting bingey and ate a ton of baguette chips + tuna + cliff bar and now Iām mad anxious because I donāt want to eat again today but I also promised her Iād order with her and I hate disappointing people and ugh Idk what to do.
Guess I could just fast on Friday
[Rant/Rave] Today was a fucking train wreck, but there was a silver lining.
/u/losemore [5'10" | 147lb | 21.4 | -33lb | 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 02:56:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97qnjd/today_was_a_fucking_train_wreck_but_there_was_a/
---
I havenāt been doing great lately. Iām dealing with a colleague at work who is a total class A cunt and Iām currently going through the appropriate processes with HR to sort the situation out which is causing me a huge amount of stress even though theyāre all being so wonderful and supportive. Today a date was set for a mediation with myself and said colleague. Pair that with me into hour 48 of my *aslongasfuckingpossible* fast, in attempt to diminish some wicked water retention after a sodium heavy binge a few days ago, my ADHD meds causing general anxiety and way too much caffeine.. I lost my shit when I received the meeting invitation. I sat outside my office for over an hour chain smoking and crying before getting my shit together enough to go and tell my boss Iām taking leave tomorrow and wonāt be in.
I just got home, absolutely exhausted and fucking DONE with this entire day, and decided to step on the scales to look at how much more fucked up my day was about to get.. and... I hit a new LW. A NEW LW guys!! Need to update my flair omg.
I would be a lot happier about it if my day hadnāt been so terrible. But itās been the one good thing thatās happened to me today, so Iāll take it.
My bf's ex is my thinspo
/u/audreyhepburnwho
Created: Thu Aug 16 02:55:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97qnd6/my_bfs_ex_is_my_thinspo/
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No but like, fr. He's not really my bf we're just hooking up but i really like him and the way things are. I dont know if it'll ever be a relationship but i dont want that right now. Either way he's by far the hottest guy I've been with, by far. It's been amazing for fueling my restriction. I've been feeling and looking much better than a month ago (thank GOD we only met recently because i wouldn't have been able to sleep with him then, would've been to ashamed) and the fact that he's so fucking hot just makes me restrict more and more so i can feel like I'm at his level of attractiveness. Anyway, i met him through a friend, and there's this girl who's also friends with this friend of mine, I've met her a long time ago, she's absolutely goals. Beautiful face, very long straight hair, total thinspo, great style AND shes smart, studies the same as I did except i only finished a bachelor's and she's finishing her phd now..... She's like, everything i had hoped i could be but am not. I just recently found out her and my guy used to date. I knew they were friends.... Worst of all is they're still friends and i have no clue how long they dated and why they broke up, and i dont want to ask because i dont want to seem jealous. But fuck im nervous now that she'll take him back away from me AND, i just keep picturing him seeing her naked and she's definitely perfection, and ok I'm not hating my body right now but I'm nowhere NEAR as thin like she's probably a bmi 19 and im 24. And Still she has bigger boobs than me. He does say im beautiful and all. But I'm just gonna keep fasting until i disappear and can finally feel like i actually deserve him. Fuck i really like him.
[Rant/Rave] āI donāt make the rules I just enforce themā
/u/CrushedOats
Created: Thu Aug 16 02:43:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97qldd/i_dont_make_the_rules_i_just_enforce_them/
---
I was FaceTiming one of my only friends who Iām open about my ed today while scrolling through Instagram & a image of a sandwich came up.
Me: āI really fucking want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich right now ā
Friend: āthen go and make one?ā
Me: āpeanut butter scares me dudeā
Friend: āwhy? Just eat it?ā
(I donāt think they really understand the struggle but shitty support is better than no support imo)
Me: āitās not that simple thoughā
Friend: āthat doesnāt make senseā
Me: āhey dude, I donāt make the rules I just enforce themā
Anyway that simple stupid conversation just made me think about how illogical and weird my ED is. Like?? Iāll be okay with having a 200 cal ice cream from McDonaldās as a treat but god forbid if I let myself have peanut butter evEN if itās lower cal than something else I eat. We donāt make the rules for these disorders but we follow & enforce them on ourselves. Anyway EDās are weird & picky and we all really donāt pick what foods can scare us and what foods feel okay & itās just very interesting to think about really
My workplace is triggering as fuck
/u/audreyhepburnwho
Created: Thu Aug 16 02:29:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97qiyg/my_workplace_is_triggering_as_fuck/
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And i love it
I work at hospital. The elevator walls are mirrors, floor to ceiling. And a lot of the hallways have glass walls which are reflective enough. The doors are also reflective. Everything is shiny and works as a mirror. I am constantly seeing my reflection. When I'm in a binge cycle it's terrible because seeing myself fat makes me wanting to binge more. But when i losing like i am now it's fucking amazing, i see my progress every minute of the day, including while walking to the cafeteria to get some black coffee and call it my lunch.
[Help] New Jeans
/u/Butterfly_Rose
Created: Thu Aug 16 02:21:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97qhk1/new_jeans/
---
A few months ago I was 54kg (5'3") and ruined my favourite jeans with chub rub ripping though the thighs completely. I'm now 47kg and have finally bought a new pair of jeans that fit perfectly and now worries of chub rub!
I'm back home now though, where I have a tendancy to binge after all my hard work in the past 6 weeks T_T I'm terrified I'm going to gain that weight back, I've treated myself to lovely new clothes and I want to look super cute going back to uni.
I've got about 5 more weeks. But the kitchen is filled with biscuits/cookie and ice-cream which are my ultimate weekness and I give in everyday! I hate myself why do I do it, I don't need it?!
Anyone have any advice?
[Help] I'm tired of this. How did you guys get help for (possible) bulimia?
/u/ClassicMarketing2
Created: Thu Aug 16 02:13:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97qg92/im_tired_of_this_how_did_you_guys_get_help_for/
---
So somewhat dramatic vent coming in.
I'm very tired of obsessing so much about food. It's impossible for me to focus on anything else. From the moment I wake up. Go to the kitchen! No, don't. Stay in your room until you absolutely have to eat. What if you end up overeating again? You know you can't control your overeating. *stays in room* alright, who the hell cares, go and eat. *eats. can't stop eating* fuck you, you have no self control. you've ruined your progress. *purge* okay, time to eat something. no, distract yourself. fuck it, you need food. eat some food. *eats too much* time for a walk. no, i'm too exhausted to go for a walk. go distract yourself on the computer. *looks up diet videos, pinches fat in front of the mirror*
It's all so obsessive. I wish my mind wasn't like this. As embarrassed as I feel I can't deal with this anymore, the only time I feel good is while I'm eating and right after purging. Has anyone here gotten help and how did you go on about that?
I found a cool Ana Coach
/u/heyxnae
Created: Thu Aug 16 02:10:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97qfks/i_found_a_cool_ana_coach/
---
Thin2max@gmail.com
Itās a female, she does NOT ask for body checks, but works with weigh-ins because she feels as itās more shameful.
She also has an ED and follows along the same diet and plan that she recommends you to go on and DJDJSKDKKDEOS she is amazing!!
Living with my super skinny friend.....helpppppppp
/u/chrissylessthan3 [5'2 | CW: 128 | HW: 132.5 | GW: 112 | UGW: 105]
Created: Thu Aug 16 01:42:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97qaid/living_with_my_super_skinny_friendhelpppppppp/
---
I'm staying with my friend for a month because I just moved to a new city and I want to make it here.
I hold no grudges against her but she has a perfect body and perfect life. She weighs the same as me except I'm 5'2 and she's 5'8.
Her problems are so small compared to mine. I overheard her saying "I don't feel like doing laundry, I have to go to Victoria's secret tomorrow to buy new black underwear" meanwhile I'm beyond broke and can't pay for anything while I interview for full time jobs and as soon as I leave her place I'm about to be homeless and sleep in my car until who knows when. I got off my meds too because they made me gain weight so I'm slipping into pretty bad depression. I kinda lost it last night when she's going out of her way to show me what appear to be literal stock photo search of "perfect couple" photos of her and her boo and I've been single for four years...I'm at my fattest ever and can't deal the everyday comparison of perfect and shit
TL;DR: My friend and her life are perfect and I can't deal with the constant reminders of how much worse I have it than her.
I always knew my eating was disordered, but I didn't realize how bad it was until I moved in with healthy room mates
/u/borderhopping
Created: Thu Aug 16 01:15:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97q5kn/i_always_knew_my_eating_was_disordered_but_i/
---
They eat normal healthy meals at normal times in normal sized portions. They don't have 20 almonds for breakfast and then an entire package of Oreos at 2am once everyone else in the house has fallen asleep and no one will see their shame. They eat dinner every day around 6 and they eat portions that look huge to me, but they're just eating a filling amount. They're also both smaller than me... living with them has been inspiring, but also makes me jealous that they have such a healthy relationship with food.
I feel like I'm constantly competing with them when we go out though. I'm definitely the "DUFF".
Also I've started fat shaming my cat. Like I'm actually disgusted by her. I love her, but lately everytime I turn around she's eating. It makes me feel weird because she's an animal i love, but she is overweight and watching her eat more makes me feel grossed out and kind of resentful? I guess I need to put her on a diet
I always knew my eating was disordered, but I didn't realize how bad until I moved in with healthy room mates
/u/YodaIAmNot
Created: Thu Aug 16 01:13:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97q57b/i_always_knew_my_eating_was_disordered_but_i/
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They eat normal healthy meals at normal times in normal sized portions. They don't have 20 almonds for breakfast and then an entire package of Oreos at 2am once everyone else in the house has fallen asleep and no one will see their shame. They eat dinner every day around 6 and they eat portions that look huge to me, but they're just eating a filling amount. They're also both smaller than me... living with them has been inspiring, but also makes me jealous that they have such a healthy relationship with food.
I feel like I'm constantly competing with them when we go out though. I'm definitely the "DUFF".
Also I've started fat shaming my cat. Like I'm actually disgusted by her. I love her, but lately everytime I turn around she's eating. It makes me feel weird because she's an animal i love, but she is overweight and watching her eat more makes me feel grossed out and kind of resentful? I guess I need to put her on a diet
[Goal] Goal belt
/u/damnitjanet6 [5"5'| hellbeast | BMI 26.4 | -35lbs| GW:105 | 20F]
Created: Thu Aug 16 00:59:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97q2fb/goal_belt/
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My mum gave me one of her old belts a few months ago. It doesn't fit her any more but she used to wear it when she was about my age and its tiny. She used to be so small. It's a really nice belt, with a thick embossed leather band and a circular buckle. When she first gave it to me I couldn't even wrap it around my waist, let alone do it up. I still can't do it up, but if I wrap it round my body, the ends touch now. If I keep going, I will be able to wear that belt. I've been on a binging spree lately, put on like three pounds in the past three days. This is me trying to force myself to be accountable. I have to be down in the 150s by my birthday. I have two weeks to loose like 5lbs gained back because of my binging. I will fit that belt by Christmas. I will.
[Rant/Rave] I hate the "not pro just using tags" bullshit
/u/clownentine
Created: Thu Aug 16 00:47:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97q09p/i_hate_the_not_pro_just_using_tags_bullshit/
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it's only on tumblr.hell afaik but god it pisses me off. I think it's honestly worse than people who are upfront about it being actual ed fodder. it's like saying "oh I don't care that this fuels people's eating disorders I just want my post to be popular :)"
Metamucil?
/u/chrissylessthan3 [5'2 | CW: 128 | HW: 132.5 | GW: 112 | UGW: 105]
Created: Thu Aug 16 00:30:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97pwu4/metamucil/
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Thoughts?
Do you count the high end of you GW starting in the x9.9
/u/throwaway081618
Created: Thu Aug 16 00:25:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97pvxg/do_you_count_the_high_end_of_you_gw_starting_in/
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It literally means nothing but even if I go up one ounce or one pound I feel like a failure but if I'm able to go down to get to the high end of my GW I feel better.
Such a weird thing idk why this happens to me but....I can't be the only one
TIL Cold water has negative calories, since your body needs to spend energy to heat it up. ā¢ r/todayilearned
/u/chrissylessthan3 [5'2 | CW: 128 | HW: 132.5 | GW: 112 | UGW: 105]
Created: Thu Aug 16 00:14:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ptu7/til_cold_water_has_negative_calories_since_your/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/97l0wk/til_cold_water_has_negative_calories_since_your/
[Discussion] Does anyone take carb blockers?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 23:51:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ppbg/does_anyone_take_carb_blockers/
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Sorry if this is inappropriate, but Iām curious what your experiences are. I know this sub tends to be of the mind that no weight loss pills work, but from what I can tell there are some studies about carb blockers that found clinically significant results. So does anyone take them? Do you like them/have you noticed them working?
[Rant/Rave] Found a new song that's keeping my fast going
/u/StarburnerRav [5' 10" |Trumps salary in lbs | -40 lbs | Male]
Created: Wed Aug 15 23:49:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97pov2/found_a_new_song_thats_keeping_my_fast_going/
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Was fucking around in Spotify looking through one of my favorite artists albums to try to find some new music to jive to.
He has a song called No One Likes a Fat Pop Star and as sad as it is it has 100% kept my fast going when I was feeling like eating an entire tub of ice cream. It's by Robbie Williams and if anyone is interested you should check it out. Some of the lyrics are crazy relatable.
" No breakfast, no luncheon
Just carpets I'm munching
A thimble of self-esteem
Glazed nothing for afters
An absence of laughter
The saddest that I've ever been "
"I'm tired"
/u/smalltits_mcgee
Created: Wed Aug 15 23:12:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97phnj/im_tired/
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"MAYBE ITS CAUSE YOU NEVER EAT!"
- my friend
ouch that one's too real
Crying mess from FB recovery group
/u/PunkHoyden [5'8. 27. 128pounds. BMI 18.8. Trash bab tryin to recover]
Created: Wed Aug 15 23:00:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97pevr/crying_mess_from_fb_recovery_group/
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I am so so so thankful for this sub.
Here we all understand we are fucked up and are open about all sides of the coin and our struggles.
I offer a response to a picture on one of their groups, and I am just being ripped to shreds over everything I say.
I've already apologized and have tried so hard to get my words correct to respond in a way that makes sense.
I'm just sitting here sobbing and feeling like the lowest scum who never ever deserves food.
I love you guys and I hate facebook.
Just stick to the plan
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 22:46:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97pc23/just_stick_to_the_plan/
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I feel like Iāve really hit a stride with restricting and Iāve been doing OMAD and Keto and It has felt so effortless. Iāve done the math and planned it all out and ALL I WANT is to stick to the plan and keep it up til Monday without a binge. I want it SO BAD. I feel like I always end up blowing things and I just donāt trust myself :(
An actual fun fact
/u/Whatsinaname44
Created: Wed Aug 15 22:28:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97p86j/an_actual_fun_fact/
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https://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/diet-fitness/weight-loss/question447.htm
[Help] Will a 48 hour fast counteract a binge?
/u/narkreturn
Created: Wed Aug 15 22:27:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97p7wi/will_a_48_hour_fast_counteract_a_binge/
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I was doing so well and binged today and messed It all up. Iām gonna try to purge but I suck at it. If I do a 48 hour fast do you think itāll counteract the binge?
[Rant/Rave] what do you mean this isnt my diary?
/u/ophelias_shadow
Created: Wed Aug 15 22:16:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97p5ja/what_do_you_mean_this_isnt_my_diary/
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im so emotional right now?
okay so first of all i binged on cereal today (i fucking hate cereal because of association but sad me loves it) and i had gymnastics so i felt like shit for 2 houst while also trying to flip around and shit. so yeah thats part of my motivation to NOT EAT because i freaking love gum and i always ruin it for myself when i eat a lot.
second of all i go to school tomorrow and im actually pumped. because i have gym right after so i dont have time for my after school binging that happened lats year.. that sucked. also i just eat a light breakfast if anything and then throw away the mandatory first day of school pizza because who actually eats that shit? and then burn hella calories at gymnastics and yea... also im away from home so im not as anxious (because i get anxious at home for some reason) and therefore less likely to binge.
also the girl that i hang out with talks about diets and weight a lot so ill be nice and triggered = D.
in other news i was 103.2 pounds this morning, 106.6 pound after my binge, then 105.5 then 106.5 then 96. something (i weighed twice to double check too) so i think my scale is broken and that STRESSES ME but also now im super pumped because on the off chance that its right i wanna keep it up.
My ED: if you lose weight, ALL your problems will be solved!!! Me, who knows better:
/u/ana-alice
Created: Wed Aug 15 22:08:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97p3tq/my_ed_if_you_lose_weight_all_your_problems_will/
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https://i.redd.it/277iytu9rdg11.gif
[Discussion] Anyone think the musician Grimes is complete body goals?
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Wed Aug 15 22:06:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97p385/anyone_think_the_musician_grimes_is_complete_body/
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Sheās perfect in my opinion š Ultimate goals! So perfectly bony. Her legs are such goals too. Not entirely sure but she *may* suffer from an ED. Not sure but if you donāt know her you should look her up. Plus she has good music!
[Rant] Iām at the start of an ED, I think.... but I donāt think Iām sick
/u/amittheonlyone
Created: Wed Aug 15 21:56:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97p0za/rant_im_at_the_start_of_an_ed_i_think_but_i_dont/
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Sorry if this makes no sense. Itās midnight before school and I need to be asleep.
When people think of eating disorders, they think of pretty little ballerinas named Annie who ocasionally purge and look tired on the time. Not me. I donāt fit any of the stereotypes. Like, I donāt really hate or loathe my body. Iāve got an hourglass figure, a figure that some would probabky die for, but itās not mine. I donāt think Iām a trans guy (I was born female and think Iāll stay that way) but thereās something about femininity that feels so foreign and uncomfortable. Hell, I'd date a girl who looks like me, but I don't want to be this girl. Iād say Iām about 145 and 5ā3 - Iād love to be down to 110 so I look more like an androgyne and less like a girl wearing her boyfriendās clothing. Dysphoria has been somewhat present since puberty but the food part hasn't been trouble until now....
Over the summer, I cycled through phases of eating nothing more than a potato a day to eating everything in the pantry. Summer is over and school is back in swing and I had dinner (Lunch is half a packet of oatmeal and 4 strawberries) for the first time in 3 or 4 days. I think Iāll stop when Iām happy, but Iām scared Iāll never find happy and Iāll find myself in a hole. Mental stuff runs in the family (mostly depression, schizophrenia, etc) and my mom has tried her damndest to try and make sure I don't end up like everyone else in my family and has even forced me to go to a therapist a few years ago.
But here I am debating whether or not I should pretend to forget my lunch at home tomorrow and researching ways to not feel hungry. Fuck. Idk what's in store for me but I'm tired of this already.
Male here. 5'7" and 120 pounds. I cant lose any weight..? It's just so hard.
/u/LuckySuckyFucky
Created: Wed Aug 15 21:51:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ozmj/male_here_57_and_120_pounds_i_cant_lose_any/
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I know this is generally a female subreddit and I apologize if I'm not welcome here or dont qualify or something.
i just cant stand my body. My ribcage area is so wide and round and my neck and face are so wide. Everything about me is wide really.. I just want to be narrower. Slim. I have this friend and he has the exact body ive wanted for years and everyone fawns over him.. I cant stand it anymore I have to lose those 20 pounds.
I already only eat like 200 calories a day and ive been running and the lowest I could get was 116 before I just stagnate. Do I need to be fasting? I've been eating one meal a day for years is my metabolism just too slow? I just want to know where to go. I dont even know if my body will change at this point. I feel so stuck. I'll probably post pics and ask for advice soon.
This is really the only place i can think to turn for this sort of thing. If I ask anyone about losing weight theyre just like OH YOURE ALREADY SKINNY YOU CANT. Like im sorry I like the feminine body type as a guy. I want to look like Dan avidan or something. It isnt fair.
Im sorry. Any advice?
I'm pretty sure I'll never have normal eating habits
/u/Backhereagainn
Created: Wed Aug 15 21:45:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97oycx/im_pretty_sure_ill_never_have_normal_eating_habits/
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I've been a binge/restricter for a very long time, But I'm kind of on the ledge between a ED and just a yoyo crash dieter(My psychologist basically implied "wait and see if it gets worse"). By virtue my diet will be restrictive and abnormal, I have severe life threatening allergies to a lot of food and it's just something I have to live with. My habits about food are always going to be odd because that's just my personality really. At some point I accepted that I literally cannot live without a degree of anxiety and it might be better/worse but that's just who I am.
Am I lying to myself that I can just accept that I might always just be a little weird around food and figure out a way to live with it and not against it? I've been trying to form less damaging habits, I,E High restriction, Counting calories then letting it go instead of obsessing over it in a diary. I dunno, Maybe I'll get tired of it one day, Maybe I'll find a healthy balance inbetween 3,000 cals and 800 at some point.
[Help] Iām going out to eat tomorrow and Friday for my birthday and Iām freaking out and need advice on what to order or just how to get through this.
/u/kayasawyer [ 4'11 | 100 | 18.5 | 20 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 21:42:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97oxlk/im_going_out_to_eat_tomorrow_and_friday_for_my/
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So tomorrow my mom, sister and her kids (aged 16 and 13) and I are going to a Mexican restaurant for an early celebration. I looked up the menu and googled the calories for everything and itās all too high. What should I do? I canāt get away with not eating anything because my moms already noticed how little Iām eating and I donāt want tomorrow to be stressful for me *or* her. Do you think theyād give me a bowl of plain lettuce or something?
The following night Iām going to an Italian restaurant and they have plain salads so itāll be easier.
I feel like itās too late to switch restaurants and I donāt want to cause any problems or seem too extra when it comes to picking a place to go. I just hope they wonāt tell the staff that itās my birthday and they give me that shitty fried ice cream. My mom said she wouldnāt but you never know lol.
So just.... what should I do?
[Discussion] Does anyone else get "triggered" by music? What are your weird triggers?
/u/unsentoffmythrowaway
Created: Wed Aug 15 21:39:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ox40/does_anyone_else_get_triggered_by_music_what_are/
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I've been listening to Postiljonen (highly highly recommend, they're a dream pop band from Sweden) and this is insane, I've never felt too fat for music before.
I feel too fat to enjoy this music...like I'm not allowed to (?). I feel like I don't fit the aesthetic of the band. I feel like when I lose weight I can fully enjoy it.
There's so many bands that just make me feel like I'm not allowed to enjoy them (fit the aesthetic) until I lose weight : washed out, Postiljonen, Ellie Goulding, Crystal Castles is a HUGE one, Grimes, and Chvrches
Since all I listen to is EDM and dreampop/indie it's so hard to just like....feel like I'm allowed to enjoy music
I do enjoy it but I feel like it'll sound better when I'm thin
[Rant/Rave] Thank you Adderall
/u/sewnp [5ā6ā and sad as hell babey]
Created: Wed Aug 15 21:39:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ox3y/thank_you_adderall/
---
Itās bad, but I forget to eat sometimes. Before my eating disorder was moreso for comfort than anything, I could just forget to eat. Thinking about it now is so jarring because of how hard it is for me not to turn to emotional eating.
In comes...Adderall. My doctor gave me some to pep me up because I have BPD, depression, anxiety, and etc. I mentioned having friends ask me if I had ADHD and she just asks me if I want to try these two drugs.
I picked Adderall and Iām...in love. I donāt feel like I need to eat? Itās almost how I felt on cocaine(yes one time). Where I felt like I didnāt need food anymore, but obviously once you crash you consume.
But!!!!! Iāve been keeping my food choices light and vitamin packed and have lost two pounds already!!! In one week!! Iām really scared that my weight is still really high but Iāll give myself an Adderall addiction before I comfort eat again. Lol
[Help] please distract me
/u/lightningmcqueef69 [5'5" | CW 126.0 | GW 95 | NB | 18 | š: lightningmcqueef69]
Created: Wed Aug 15 21:17:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ortx/please_distract_me/
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cw: sh
not sure if this is allowed but i don't know where else to go.
i haven't self harmed in just over 6 months but right now i can't stop thinking about how much i want to cut and how much i deserve it and i really need to be distracted. i'm terrified to talk to irls because i know i'll land in the hospital and that's the last thing i want. please just send memes or good things that happened to you today or Literally Anything i don't know what to do
Cheerleaders on deck, please!
/u/DistortionPuddle [5'7"|CW:143|BMI:22.4 |GW:125|31F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 21:03:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97oogv/cheerleaders_on_deck_please/
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After a couple ROUGH days of binging misery, Iām back on track. Totally sticking with my goals all day, but Iām getting home from work now. Tired evening DistortionPuddle makes bad choices. I get home and itās like all my self-control goes out the window. Can yāall throw a little cheerleading my way? Iāll read your support comments this evening when I feel like snacking. You guys are the best and I love you!
[Other] Little Quote I Found
/u/peyton2724
Created: Wed Aug 15 21:01:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97onwt/little_quote_i_found/
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Thought some of you would appreciate this.
āWe both know where this leads. It starts with some crawfish, but then you feel guilty so you eat a box of donuts to make yourself feel better. Then the next thing you know youāre at the drive-thru five times a day eating a whole stick of butter in the dark.ā
Thanks Insatiable.
[Help] Finding the right amount of hunger?
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 199.2 | GW2 180 | UGW 120 | 34.3 | 25 F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 20:53:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97om1u/finding_the_right_amount_of_hunger/
---
I've been trying to only eat once a day for the last 2 weeks, but having 1 frozen peppermint party when really hungry. The first week I didn't limit what I ate, just ate less than I usually do. This week, my main meals have been salads.
Most of the time having a drink something or the peppermint would dull my hunger for a good bit, but now I'm into the "this diet coke didn't work, maybe I should eat the can" intense hunger.
I'm having an overall bad day and was tempted to binge, but had a break down when I saw that what I wanted to eat was 1700 cals. I'm in a wedding soon & was hoping to be under 190 by then, but that's not looking like it's going to happen.
I'm pretty sure I'll just end up binging after the wedding after all of this anyway. I hate how I put myself through this when I won't make any progress anyway.
[Rant/Rave] "But you'll ruin your metabolism if you eat less"
/u/jackolantern_hat [5'9.5" | CW:149 | BMI: 21.22 | 21F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 20:42:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97oj4k/but_youll_ruin_your_metabolism_if_you_eat_less/
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I'm so tired of hearing that, or the whole "my metabolism slowed down and I stopped losing weight at X amount". Like yeah, the less you weigh the less your body needs so in theory you'll need to eat less and less to keep up the same pace of weight loss. Just looking at Looser Town I can see that the less I weigh the lower my bmr is anyways.
I feel like I can't google any type of weight loss or calorie stuff without the majority or people or articles saying the title.
[Help] Calorie counting triggers me to binge. I don't know what to do anymore.
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Wed Aug 15 20:41:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97oita/calorie_counting_triggers_me_to_binge_i_dont_know/
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I started calorie counting 2 weeks ago. In the beginning, it was fine. But every few days or so my calories eaten for the day have been steadily increasing by 200 calories or so. I started off by eating \~1200 but now I eat maybe 1800 or 2000. I don't know what else to do. I can't resist. Maybe I'm not made for calorie counting.
I've tried multiple diet plans - food elimination diets, calorie counting, low carb, high carb, under-eating, maintenence, over-eating, etc. Nothing works. I don't know why. *Something* should work, it has to. I can't stay overweight like this forever; I can't stand the way I look and feel.
I'm gonna go for more drastic measures, like juice cleanse for like 2 weeks... or eating only fruits & veg... something like that. I won't give up, but I sure as hell hope I see results soon.
I don't even know what this post is - rave? help? I have no idea. I want to give up.
[Discussion] Restricting while having a cold/the flu
/u/new9design
Created: Wed Aug 15 20:32:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ogsi/restricting_while_having_a_coldthe_flu/
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I'm sick with my third cold this summer. I know I should up my calorie intake to help myself get better faster, but I would much rather those calories be directly for getting better(ie, adding honey to my tea).
What do you do when you get sick, but still want to stay on track?
No Motivation
/u/PukeAnarchy
Created: Wed Aug 15 20:28:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ofnm/no_motivation/
---
I'm recovered from Bulimia, I don't b+p anymore. In my struggle with the binging I gained about 10 lbs in a week. I'd really like to lose that 10 lbs safely, but as of now I've been struggling with diet and exercise. The binge/starve cycle has been creeping its way into my life again and I'd like just to be normal. However, I have no motivation to work out/ eat right. Even thinking about my ideal body hasn't given me anything to work toward.
How do I fix this?
[Rant/Rave] The dog ruined my dinner.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 112.5 | 18.9 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 20:25:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97oewu/the_dog_ruined_my_dinner/
---
To preface this: I don't have a dog.
Tldr; dog I'm babysitting ate my burrito.
Long story, I have been stretched thin with work, I drive home in tears most days and am currently at a real low point in my emotional state.
So the other morning I'm getting ready and my doorbell rings. I answer it and it's my boyfriend's brother and his dog.
APPARENTLY he had asked us a few days ago if we would watch her while they were out of town. Neither of us agreed and yet, here he is with a 70lb dog on my porch.
So now I have a dog for a WEEK and she's a bit of a nightmare. Mostly a good girl but gets into things and bothers my cat.
So I get home today, boyfriend is working nightshift and I have 10 minutes to see him. I had picked up a burrito this morning and never had a chance to eat it due to my boss fucking hounding me all day long until I left = no breakfast or lunch.
I toss my bag with the burrito in it on the counter and walk outside to say goodbye to boyfriend. I come back in after probably 15 seconds and my bag is on the floor, rice mashed into the carpet, tinfoil everywhere, dog in the center.
I spent $9 on that, and I'm broke as shit right now. It was my special gift to me to keep me sane with this nasty job and 2 hour commute.
And the fucking dog...that I do not own...ruined it...
I want to walk to the corner store to get a diet coke or something but I can't fucking leave this big idiot alone.
I hate today. thanks for listening.
[Rant/Rave] Holy fuck. 681 calories today.
/u/2ndfirstday [5'5" | C 103.6 | G 95 | -1 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 20:24:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97oepg/holy_fuck_681_calories_today/
---
Been going under my goal of 996 calories for the past four days, and today I managed to feel done for the day at 681 calories.
I tried going the full 24 hours fasting, but I gave up at 19.5 hours because I felt like I was literally about to faint. My blood sugar was super low and I was struggling to walk home from work.
Anyway. I know I probably wonāt see immediate results by tomorrow since Iām going to sleep feeling full, but hopefully the following day! Has anyone else noticed results dont show up til two days after?
[Discussion] What weight do you feel the best?
/u/undertheweather123
Created: Wed Aug 15 20:17:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97od3v/what_weight_do_you_feel_the_best/
---
So Iāve just been thinking about this for myself and was curious as to what other people felt. What weight do you feel the most happy with how you look but also feel okay health wise too?
For me (im 5ā3 for reference) I like the way I look the best when Iām 105 or under, but I tend to feel sick/tired/and miserable once I start getting around there. I feel the most healthy physically around 115 and donāt entirely mind how I look there either. I start feeling pretty bad about myself once I get to 120-125, and anything above that I feel obese.
[Help] How does everyone lose weight and Iām still stuck
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 120 |GW 115| F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 19:54:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97o786/how_does_everyone_lose_weight_and_im_still_stuck/
---
My body gets to 114/115 and is so difficult to lose. I want a lower BMI, but my body wonāt lose anything. I hate it.
[Rant/Rave] My crush saw me pass out. Long, TL;DR at end
/u/anon04826
Created: Wed Aug 15 19:52:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97o6tz/my_crush_saw_me_pass_out_long_tldr_at_end/
---
I was on a run with my crush while in the middle of a 72 hour fast. I passed out. I'm in a bad place financially and couldn't afford going to the hospital, so he took me back to my house.
I woke up on my couch, and he was looking through my kitchen that had coke zero, celery, carrots, halo top, and some lettuce. I panicked when he asked why I had so little and said I was in an even worse place financially than before and couldn't afford food.
He offered me money. I said no, knowing after he quit his job at a fast food place so he could diet and stop eating garbage 6 months ago. I knew he probably wasn't doing well either.
But, to be fair, he was probably spending less money on expensive junk. He has lost a lot of weight, but has asked people to not comment on it, positive or negative.
Anyway, I said no thanks, and he asked if I wanted something to eat. I said no, and the fucking GODS timed my stomach growl.
"Are you anorexic?" He mumbles.
I say no and act offended, since I thought it'd get him off my case.
"Are you anorexic?" He does not mumble.
I'm in full panic mode. The one person on earth that I didn't want to know, knows. I hid amazingly well. Too well.
There's no way anyone without an eating disorder would realize. And then I think about it.
He was dieting to the point where he has extra income from how little food he's buying. He's lost a lot of weight and hasn't told anyone the exact numbers. He asked no one to comment on it, positively or negatively.
Then I looked at him and noticed the eyebags badly covered in concealer I gave him a while back for "pimples." I noticed his hands shaking from black coffee he drank this morning. I noticed bruises on his arm that had been there for weeks. I noticed him chewing on half a stick of gum. I remember him laughing when I asked him why his nails were painted. I remember buying vitamins with him at the store, and buying a cheap hat for him on the same trip because his hair was falling out a lot.
Oh my fucking god. It took me 6 months to realize what was happening because I was too caught up in my own shit.
I panicked and told him to get out of my house. We haven't spoken in a week. We both know we know.
*TL;DR*: crush saw me pass out, asked me if I was anorexic when I woke up, I realize he has had an eating disorder for 6 months and kick him out of my house in a fit of panic.
How do you guys combat nighttime cravings?
/u/tolearnalanguage
Created: Wed Aug 15 19:48:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97o5v3/how_do_you_guys_combat_nighttime_cravings/
---
The only problem I have with fasting/low restricting is the nighttime cravings. How do you guys get over them?
[Rant/Rave] I went from 74 to 61.5kg in like a month and a half??
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 59kg (130lbs) | 19.9 | -0kg | F | 20yo]
Created: Wed Aug 15 19:43:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97o4is/i_went_from_74_to_615kg_in_like_a_month_and_a_half/
---
Holy shit you guys. I just weighed myself. I went from being 0.3kg into an overweight BMI to having one of 20.6. I can't help feeling like this is what I was born to do, nothing else in my life has ever come this easily to me. I'm already more than halfway to my goal of 49kg, I'll most likely reach that before the end of the year at this rate. God, I forgot how good this feels. I wasn't even trying that hard.
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like their family members talk shit about them??
/u/Beanutpean
Created: Wed Aug 15 19:38:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97o39m/dae_feel_like_their_family_members_talk_shit/
---
My family is not very open with one another. Although it's extremely obvious that I'm anorexic, my mom prefers to not address the issue and instead pretends there isn't one. However she likes to make little comments like "well with how tiny you are you could..." and "do you want the rest of my food since you barely ate?" and things similar. Basically I know that she knows, but she knows if she directly confronts me about my ED I will snap (I get quite angry when I'm confronted especially if I feel like I'm doing something wrong). So whenever my brother is in town I feel like she talks to him about it. The entire time he's here. And I can literally see and hear them lowering their voices and eyeing me and I swear to God they're discussing my weight loss. It makes me so frustrated and embarrassed but I can't just but in and be like "UM PLEASE DONT TALK ABOUT MY EATING DISORDER YOURE SO RUDE" because fuck the entire situation that would follow. I just want to live my life without judgement, or at least judge me when I'm not around????
[Help] Any advice appreciated..
/u/lacedthroat
Created: Wed Aug 15 19:26:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97o0gu/any_advice_appreciated/
---
I can't restrict anymore. I just can't. I've become so depressed and lost complete motivation to do anything.
Last year around this time, I lost 40lbs in 3 months, because I was so motivated somehow. Now I'm stuck. I keep binging and purging, it feels awful. Food is the only thing that makes me feel something anymore. If i let go of that, I don't know how to feel....
Does anyone have any tips for kicking myself "back into it"? Or any stories? Similar experiences? Anything......im desperate....
I can't do this
/u/paavlover
Created: Wed Aug 15 19:26:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97o0es/i_cant_do_this/
---
I don't know if I can recover at all. The thought of gaining the slightest bit of weight absolutely *terrifies* me.
I haven't gotten my period in actual *months* and only recently have I told myself this is a problem.
I've been struggling for about a year with this.
I don't know if I'm mentally ready. I don't think I am. I told myself I would get help and I just can't bring myself to.
This is so fucked I can't do this. I know I will relapse even if I try there is no point.
[Rant/Rave] Well, that didnt help
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7.5" | 110.4 | 16.91 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Wed Aug 15 19:20:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97nyty/well_that_didnt_help/
---
Background before a small venting story, I have anxiety and selective mutism (I basically lose the ability to speak when I'm anxious) I cry a lot sometimes and cant explain why until I am calm enough to speak. So, that bring us to dinner with my partner.
My partner is very aware of my ED and knew I hadn't eaten all day so he bought us pizza for dinner. I get weird and ritualistic around meals and can't eat unless things are perfect and the pizza was an absolute disaster... it was soggy and gross so I could barely eat more than half a slice.
I started crying because things weren't perfect (love my ED brain), so to console me my partner says "it's okay to be unhealthy sometimes and eat things that arent good for you"
I couldn't explain to him that's not why I was upset, but now it is. Now things are falling apart and I'm a pig.
[Rant/Rave] The cashier humiliated me
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 125 | 19.56 | 21F š¼]
Created: Wed Aug 15 19:20:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97nytt/the_cashier_humiliated_me/
---
So Iāve had a really horrible past two months and gained so much weight. Iām scared to step on a scale but I think Iām at the highest Iāve ever been in. My thighs touch in places I didnāt even think they could. Iām afraid to try on any of my pants so Iāve been hiding in dresses. I start the day off strong with a healthy breakfast like a spinach wrap and unsweetened ice tea, and I emotional eat as soon as I come back to my apartment. Itās been so bad. Tonight I met a friend for drinks and on my way back home, I stopped at the grocery store to buy binge foods. White cheddar popcorn, cookies, cereal...but I stopped myself. I thought of what I looked like just two months ago and thought of how skinny and confident I felt and I stopped. I grabbed a single pint of lemon cake halo top and went to the register so proud of myself. The cashier looked at the pint, looked at me and probably saw how fat and bloated I looked, and snickered. She was probably thinking look at this pig buying a pint of icecream alone at 9pm on a wednesday night probably to eat by herself. Fucking pathetic. Sheās right, Iāve been so pathetic. Iāve been binging for two months straight. I canāt even think of what I must weigh now. Iām horrified and I want to cry everytime I wake up. I havenāt felt real hunger in so long. I had pain cramps for the first time in my life yesterday from overeating. They were so bad I couldnāt get up from my bed. What the hell am I doing to myself? I wish I could warp back time and go back to the skinny confident me when I could fit into my size 2 black shorts and had a cute little thigh gap.
[Rant/Rave] Nurse at my gyno's office said i lost weight
/u/PsychadelicSpaceCat
Created: Wed Aug 15 19:07:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97nvbf/nurse_at_my_gynos_office_said_i_lost_weight/
---
So I've been feeling massive the past week. I went in for my 4-week check after getting an IUD and my usual nurse weighed me like usual, which is no big deal I just averted my eyes from the scale, but then when she was putting my info into the computer she just mentioned offhand "oh you've lost some weight since your last visit!" Like bruh what. I just laughed it off, as you do. Dysmorphia is a bitch I guess š
I don't even know why it triggered me so hard to restrict, weighing myself constantly is like the ONE disordered thing I DON'T do (yet). Not to mention I've been in a hardcore week of b/p so I'm probably just hella dehydrated. Anyway now I'm drinking a bottle of pinot bc why not sabotage myself at every turn? š lmaooo happy hump day everybody
[Rant/Rave] When plans get changed and you lose your mind...
/u/ProbablyNeedGlasses
Created: Wed Aug 15 18:57:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97nsou/when_plans_get_changed_and_you_lose_your_mind/
---
I should not be so angry right now, but I am. I was planning on breaking my fast with a dinner at home, perfect macros, perfect Netflix + Munch time after a crazy stressful day at work.
However, my boyfriend just called to say we were invited to dinner with another couple and I do NOT want to go. Iāve been waiting for this meal that I planned and I donāt want to break my fast for whatever restaurant they picked.
I feel like an embarrassed little kid throwing a fit and I just want to crawl in a whole and make everyone leave me alone for an hour.
[Rant/Rave] Im losing my mind over this
/u/UsualLetter
Created: Wed Aug 15 18:44:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97npee/im_losing_my_mind_over_this/
---
Okay so like I just started school back today which I was mega excited about because I can restrict 100000x easier and the anxiety from it makes it easy for me to puke. but like theres this girl i cut total ties with who is larger and she is very angry at me. Like she hates my guts. I dont blame her because I ended our friendship and thats never easy to do but she was being cruel to me and my boyfriend and just anyone around her who had a flaw she could pick at. I know its because shes insecure herself but her words still hurt you know. She saw my boyfriend walking into school alone and was excited because she thought that me and him had broken up if that tells you anything about how mean she can be. But anyways, shes in my econ class and my english class. When she saw I was there I saw her talking to a friend that we both share but he happens to like me more and just hasnāt cut her off from his life yet. After class i go up to him and was like āwhatād she sayā and he was like āShe called you super fat and ugly and just a bunch of other mean thingsā.
I dont think Iāve ever wanted to lose weight more than in that moment. I need to do this because I will be pretty and desired. I will be someone whoās worth something.
[Other] Anyone Need A Friend?
/u/MrsBluebeard [5'4" | 96 lbs. | 16.8 | UGW- 90 lbs. | Bee]
Created: Wed Aug 15 18:35:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97nn27/anyone_need_a_friend/
---
MODs please delete if this isn't allowed, and in no way is this promoting ED tendencies, rather hoping it provides a safe space to communicate.
So my boyfriend is out at the theaters with his friends and lord only knows who else. To be honest, I'm jealous. I wish I had friends that I related to. The girls I've befriended at work are incredible, but I'm always scared that they, like everyone else in my life, will just disappear.
I always blame my ED/mental illness for why I can't maintain lasting connections with people, which I crave so desperately.
Simply put, I want a friend. Someone who equally knows the struggles and is willing to befriend someone online. I don't know. My headspace is weird and I've been listening to a lot of "Boyish," by Japanese Breakfast. I wish it was October and I wish I could restrict better.
[Rant/Rave] why do i maintain on 1200 but everyone else loses?
/u/bmalaur [5'4" | 24F | HW: 127 | CW: 103 | LW: 85]
Created: Wed Aug 15 18:30:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97nm06/why_do_i_maintain_on_1200_but_everyone_else_loses/
---
just perpetually hovering in this half-recovery 18.0 BMI life i guess...
(before anyone asks yes i count / measure neurotically)
the gig is up
/u/verysmallleaf
Created: Wed Aug 15 18:24:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97nkd0/the_gig_is_up/
---
I started sobbing in the car because I was hungry even though I already ate once today and I think my sister is starting to catch on that something's up
shit.
6 months of heavy restriction adds about 10 years.
/u/Sidehothrowaway [f | 31 | 142lbs lost | GW ?]
Created: Wed Aug 15 18:23:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97nk6w/6_months_of_heavy_restriction_adds_about_10_years/
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https://imgur.com/a/wm3xb82
YALL THIS IS LIFE CHANGING
/u/lighghtup [5'7" | 177 | 27.6 | 19F | thicc]
Created: Wed Aug 15 17:56:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97nd5a/yall_this_is_life_changing/
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https://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/diet-fitness/weight-loss/question447.htm
weight loss drugs
/u/beachnbum
Created: Wed Aug 15 17:42:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97n9hy/weight_loss_drugs/
---
Will a Dr prescribe me adipex or phen even if Iām 150lbs? Iām short and should be 115-125.
[Rant/Rave] Dear grocery store girl, thank you for looking at my butt and rolling your eyes.
/u/makauwau
Created: Wed Aug 15 17:32:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97n6q0/dear_grocery_store_girl_thank_you_for_looking_at/
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Dear grocery store girl,
Thank you for rolling your eyes at me. If you knew me youād know I lost 50 pounds in 40 months. If you knew me youād know I was hospitalized last month for collapsing because I donāt eat anymore. If you looked into my cart you would see only seasonings. And if you looked into my eyes you wouldāve seen panic.
But you donāt know me, so grocery store girl thank you for rolling your eyes at me. I was thinking of having popcorn for dinner, but thankfully you came around to remind me why I restrict.
Anyone wanna be my ana support?i need motivation to keep losing
/u/depressedlilfuck
Created: Wed Aug 15 17:24:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97n4sv/anyone_wanna_be_my_ana_supporti_need_motivation/
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[Intro] Low calorie recipes
/u/ana-alice
Created: Wed Aug 15 17:16:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97n2ky/low_calorie_recipes/
---
Never starve yourself and if you think yourself or a loved one is practicing/has harmful eating habits then please seek help as soon as possible.
None of these recipes will go above 400
https://www.joyfulhealthyeats.com/gluten-free-veggie-turkey-rollups-high-protein/
https://www.google.com/amp/s/recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail-amp.asp%3frecipe=448764
https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/recipe?id=7345488
http://www.itscheatdayeveryday.com/one-pan-parmesan-tuscan-chicken/
http://losingitwithlisa.com/category/foods-i-eat/
https://www.rebootwithjoe.com/summer-zoodle-primavera-under-200-calories/
http://tastefulventure.com/slow-cooker-skinny-vegetarian-chili/
https://www.callmepmc.com/low-calorie-breakfast-sandwich/
https://showmetheyummy.com/skinny-broccoli-cheese-soup-recipe/?m
https://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2013/05/28/crispy-healthy-baked-zucchini-fries/comment-page-3/
https://www.oatmealwithafork.com/low-calorie-spicy-cabbage-soup/
https://domesticsuperhero.com/skinny-french-onion-soup/
http://thelowcalorielife.com/low-calorie-recipes/miso-noodle-soup
https://gimmedelicious.com/2016/06/30/easy-one-pan-roasted-shrimp-and-veggies/
http://sparklinglala.com/perfect-200-calorie-mocha-latte-mini-pie-cafe-breaks/
Everyone please stay safe and enjoy ā¤
[Discussion] Help?
/u/depressedlilfuck
Created: Wed Aug 15 17:10:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97n186/help/
---
Anyone wanna be my ana support?i need motivation to keep losing
Hit a new low dress size. New ED low. 293 to 151
/u/Sidehothrowaway [f | 31 | 142lbs lost | GW ?]
Created: Wed Aug 15 17:10:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97n12j/hit_a_new_low_dress_size_new_ed_low_293_to_151/
---
Fuck me. Size 26 to Size 7. Can't believe I'm in a 7. I've had my bar in my purse all day but I can't eat it. Having rum for dinner and soup just in case. It's not right. Sounds juvenile as fuck but I don't care. I really don't care. Just for this week I'll enjoy it. Just for right now. I haven't been in a 7 since I was in elementary school and I'm 31. Soup soup soup soup. Maybe I'll hit a 4. That might need nice. Let's play this fucking game until Christmas. I'll get myself an opal if I got a 4.
I'M GOING TO FUCKING ENJOY THIS FOR RIGHT NOW.
Anyone wanna be my ana buddy???i need motivation
/u/depressedlilfuck
Created: Wed Aug 15 17:07:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97n04r/anyone_wanna_be_my_ana_buddyi_need_motivation/
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[removed]
[Discussion] As people who arenāt yet recovered from ED, how do you guys feel about NEDA Walks/eating disorder awareness campaigns?
/u/peachypetrina
Created: Wed Aug 15 17:06:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97mzvt/as_people_who_arent_yet_recovered_from_ed_how_do/
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I recently saw a FB post about the national eating disorder associationās walk event in NYC, and it just made me go āhuh.ā Like, as someone who deals with my ED every day in a somewhat, idk, invisible way, events like this make me feel weird.
Like, I think these events raise money for recovery efforts? but EDs arenāt like HIV or cancer where thereās constant research for āthe cure.ā And although awareness campaigns are making people start to be more open about suffering from mental illness like anxiety, depression, etc. itās literally a characteristic of having an ED that we hide our habits and lie about our illness. I think what Iām trying to say is that itās strange that people make all these efforts with walks and raising money, but I know none of that will ever really help me overcome my issues. Even when people try to spread awareness, Iām still going to deal with my ED basically alone because I donāt anyone in my life to know about it. In some ways it also makes me feel like an imposter because Iām not visibly ill or in the hospital due to my ED.
And whenever I hear celebrities talk about how they suffered from EDs, this doesnāt make me want to recover either. It just makes me more nervous that ānormalā people are becoming more aware of the warning signs and someone will catch me lol.
I guess Iām having a hard time verbalizing how I feel about ED awareness stuff so Iād like to hear how other people here feel about it.
[Other] IKEA knows whatās up... theyāre onto us
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 115 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 16:55:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97mx0w/ikea_knows_whats_up_theyre_onto_us/
---
https://i.redd.it/9ixtznb97cg11.jpg
Boyfriends and EDs
/u/dyhdfukbvff
Created: Wed Aug 15 16:29:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97mq4j/boyfriends_and_eds/
---
For those of you with significant others who know about your ED, do you ever feel like you can only have one when they arenāt around? I sometimes feel this way because I donāt want him to worry. However, I feel like Iām lying to him about having an ED because I eat in front of him and try never to purge when heās around.
Heās on vacation for another week and Iāve already lost some weight, but Iām obsessing over him seeing me again. I guess I kind of want him to notice the weight loss?? My ex was so proud when I lost weight despite knowing I had these problems so Iām not sure if I want my current bf to worry or be happy that Iām slimmer and probably look better.
Iām also worried he wonāt notice at all. We go back to school soon and I know Iām going to lose weight just because of stress and the alone time I have at college. Iām afraid he wonāt notice now and thatās just gonna fire me up more to lose while we are apart for three months. Iām trying to maintain once I get back down to 110-115, but I worry that it will never be low enough.
[Rant/Rave] ugh
/u/impractically-me
Created: Wed Aug 15 16:29:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97mq1k/ugh/
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im at my grandparents house and well, we all know how grandparents are with food. i feel terrible because i cant work out since they have a little apartment and i dont have the privacy to work out. we just had a huge dinner as well. i mean the last two days ive really restricted,but just ugh. i need to find a way to work out
I only feel semi pretty when Iām hungry
/u/depressedlilfuck
Created: Wed Aug 15 16:25:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97mp3l/i_only_feel_semi_pretty_when_im_hungry/
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Today on Should I or Shouldn't I
/u/PrincessOssa
Created: Wed Aug 15 16:06:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97mjfd/today_on_should_i_or_shouldnt_i/
---
I woke up this morning thinking "No. We're done. Gonna eat dinner today and not drink." And now that I've left work I'm mentally thumb wrestling with myself to decide if I'm going to get drinks or not. No, I didn't have dinner yet. š¤
Where can I buy Ipecac
/u/DQPT
Created: Wed Aug 15 16:02:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97mi9a/where_can_i_buy_ipecac/
---
Yes I've heard all about its damaging effects, and I've weighed up the pros and cons. I've looked through the internet all I can and I can't find a supplies, and there's no stores that sell it here in Australia. Could anyone help me out please? Thanks
overweight nurses
/u/lemonbasilthyme [5'3" | CW: 96 lbs | BMI: 17 | 29F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 15:57:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97mgx4/overweight_nurses/
---
Disclaimer: This post is not about fat-shaming, so please don't take it there. It's a sensitive topic, but I had an experience today that made me feel really weird, and I want to know how other people handle these situations...
Long story short, I have a chronic GI disease and I'm on long-term therapy that requires me to receive infusions every 8 weeks. This involves being weighed before every infusion and checking vitals every 15 minutes.
Today, I was greeted and had my weight taken by a nurse I've never seen. She made no comment as she had to adjust the scale (it's one of those old manual things, and I'm just under 100 lbs clothed). After I sat down, one of the other nurses I'm more familiar with turned to me and said, "You've lost weight?" I couldn't tell whether she was asking because she saw the new number in my chart (most likely), or because she noticed a visible difference from when I was last there in June. I just said, ummm, ye-e-e-s...? feeling as if I was apologizing for something, as if I should be embarrassed or ashamed.
Then she said, "Is it because of GI issues? Like you just can't eat anything?" In that moment, it would have made so much sense for me to lie and blame my disease, but instead (I don't know why) I sort of hedged; I said, "Yeah, I think it's a combination of factors..." and mentioned I've started running again.
This nurse happens to be very large, probably obese. I think that's why I felt so uncomfortable, because I was immediately struck by that fact when she was the only person who spoke up about the change in my weight. The only reason they need to know my weight is for medication dosing purposes; it's not like they're doctors tracking any trends. Also, I'm sure they see people in there all the time who are underweight due to illness. Why even comment?
I didn't feel like there was any hostility in her questions, but I did feel mildly resentful of having to explain my weight loss. It's not irrelevant to my condition, but they're just infusion nurses -- I'm pretty sure their only job is to set up IVs and monitor patients for reactions. Is it bad that my immediate reaction was to think, of course the overweight nurse is the one who's interested in my weight?
I'm really glad there was no element of shaming about my weight, but at the same time I just felt like cringeing. Anyone else had awkward comments from nurses or other medical staff -- people who shouldn't have any real investment in your weight, but nevertheless address it head-on? What is this about and why does it happen?
[Other] This ad popped up on Snapchat haha - nah I already know, thanks phone
/u/ljodzn [5'3" | CW 159 | BMI 28.9 | Goal 120 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 15:27:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97m85z/this_ad_popped_up_on_snapchat_haha_nah_i_already/
---
https://i.redd.it/bzukq5snrbg11.jpg
Had a panic attack when the nurse tried to weigh me
/u/_pancaste_ [5'6 | 125 | -23]
Created: Wed Aug 15 15:14:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97m4j9/had_a_panic_attack_when_the_nurse_tried_to_weigh/
---
I'm disordered. I weigh myself once every morning directly after peeing and before drinking or eating anything. This afternoon, I had an appointment to get blood drawn, followed by a session with a nurse. It wasn't meant to be an "intensive" appointment - we were only going to chat about my existing prescriptions, so silly me assumed a weigh-in wouldn't be on the agenda!
As soon as I walk in, the nurse slides out a scale and asks me to get on it. She wants her trainee nurse to get experience inputting data into the practice's computer system.
I start breathing heavily. Heart rate up. Literal feeling of lightheadedness. I say that I just weighed myself an hour ago and can tell them my weight, down to two decimal points. Nurse says no, because they use a specially calibrated scale.
And I *completely* fall apart. I start stuttering that I can't be weighed after eating breakfast, and I can come in tomorrow morning instead, and I'm not comfortable going on the scale in my clothes and shoes, and so on. They finally agreed to let me give them my weight manually, but they both looked completely freaked out and I don't think I'll get away with that again.
It probably would have been a 2, maybe 3, pound difference, but I couldn't handle it. I'm a wreck.
āI like bigger womenā
/u/plaidbluejammies
Created: Wed Aug 15 15:11:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97m3ie/i_like_bigger_women/
---
Ahhhh is that supposed to be some kind of come on? Am I supposed to feel good that my disgusting body fuels your fetish? How am I even supposed to respond?
Iāve spent the last 4 years bingeing and suicidally depressed. I hate myself/my body but have at least been losing weight the last couple months and had maybe an ounce more confidence. Thatās all out the window now and just confirms that the first thing anyone notices about me is how fucking fat I am. Sure he likes fat chicks, but guess what almost no one else does.
I wish I could just disappear...
I feel like everyone is lying about my weight loss
/u/unsentoffmythrowaway
Created: Wed Aug 15 15:09:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97m2pf/i_feel_like_everyone_is_lying_about_my_weight_loss/
---
Everyone keeps noticing my weight loss but I fucking don't I feel like they're lying to me so I will increase my calorie intake or to make me feel better, I've only lost like 10/15 pounds from my recoded weight of May. I was big then and I'm big now.
I have no energy but my mom wants to me to go workout with her and I already ate above my daily calorie intake for myself and I have no energy, but I can't tell her that then she'd get suspicious. I'm surprised she already wasn't when I said "no im not allowed to eat that" when they went out to eat and I just watched them.
I might have milk, yogurt and a banana before I work out but then I'd feel bad because I won't burn it off all I do is basic weight training and the elliptical to cool down.
Who else is just waiting for school to start so they can finally get out of their house full of trigger food
/u/Exoarmyl [5'4 | CW: FAT | GW: 140lbs | WL: ? | 17F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 14:59:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97lznx/who_else_is_just_waiting_for_school_to_start_so/
---
Iām a senior (woo!) in high school, and Iām just counting down the days til school starts, and restricting can be easier. My parents are always telling me I need to lost weight but continue to buy all of the extremely fat and high calorie foods. Iām just excited to be able to be away from all the foods I canāt resist (cause who wants nasty school food).
Lost weight but feel the same?
/u/KassyDee
Created: Wed Aug 15 14:40:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97lu3k/lost_weight_but_feel_the_same/
---
I try not to weigh myself often because it triggers me, so the last time i did was about 3 months ago, and i weighed 114 lbs. So today i weighed myself and the scale said 88.6 lbs. I was in such disbelief that i had decided that the scale was wrong. I dont feel that light, i feel the same i did 3 months ago. 90lbs was my goal weight at yet, im not content. I feel like this is some kind of sick joke.
[Rant/Rave] Restricting like crazy due to stress over exam results
/u/Annewellmorrel
Created: Wed Aug 15 14:27:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97lq7y/restricting_like_crazy_due_to_stress_over_exam/
---
Tomorrow my exam results come out and today I had a whole day planned out eating-wise with sufficient calories to lose weight but still eat healthily and eat enough but some grade boundaries were leaked at midday and I freaked. I really wanted to get that feeling of control again, the one Iāve been missing, so I latched on to that and ate nothing after breakfast for the rest of the day.
I just canāt wait for tomorrow, when I can finally let go. Let go of that stupid boarding school that led to my BED exacerbating, and those awful nasty children that I absolutely canāt stand, and the awful nasty teachers (I only wish Iād understood earlier that what they really mean when they say āIām just worried about youā is āIāll lose my job if something happens to youā) and the stupid irrelevant style of ALevels that no one gives a shit about anyway.
God Iām so over it. I deserve better. I deserve to eat what I want and stay within my calorie limit and still lose weight and move like everyone else my age!! Iām strictly against the mindset of putting your life on hold until you lose weight but COME THE FUCK ON! Iām not even twenty, I want to look HOWEVER I WANT TO LOOK. It was so terrible how they freaked out when I got a little bit underweight 2 years ago. I had been working SO WELL to get a hand on the binge monster - 200 days binge-free!
But it was nothing to them. They were afraid that people might look at me and realise how much I had been NEGLECTED and HURT by the people who should have been there to support me. They weighed me every week and they put SO MUCH pressure on me to put weight and I tried, I really tried but it was creeping up so slowly and I had no choice but to binge. I should have been strong and put my foot down but I was weak. I was a pathetic coward, just like them. And then the bingeing became an addiction.
No more. Iām takin my life back now. No more.
Just ranting on here, sorry.
I want to die oh my god
/u/aworkinprogress_
Created: Wed Aug 15 14:20:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97lodx/i_want_to_die_oh_my_god/
---
Just went to the doctor
First of all Iām 5ā5.5 not 5ā6 like I thought
Second my BMI is 19.7 and thatās above average for 15 year old girls
I never want to eat again
[Rant/Rave] āPick oneā
/u/miserablemei
Created: Wed Aug 15 14:11:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97llgv/pick_one/
---
(This is all kind of a word mush Iām so sorry)
So Iām assuming a lot of you guys are the same way that I am: youāve got some good days and you have some bad ones. Yesterday was particularly good in terms of eating! I didnāt even count my calories at all and I felt cute just the way I looked, despite being yknow, fat as fuck. Today I was talking to my friend about how I (still) feel disgusting since my boyfriend is rather thin and Iām not. My friend literally told me āyou have to pick one way to look at yourself because it just makes you seem like youāre faking your EDā and Idk that really got me angry. I guess itās all about calorie counting fasting and hating myself again to make people care!!!!
Book links??
/u/ssuicidaldeer [5'6 | CW: 107.6 | GW: 100 | F šø]
Created: Wed Aug 15 14:08:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97lkei/book_links/
---
So I'm an idiot who can't find the link on this subreddit to the google docs of ED books...could anyone post this? or does anyone know of like a master post of ED-related books elsewhere? or PDFs? thx
Hotspot Shield VPN 7.11.0 Crack + License Key [Win + Mac]
/u/aryan167
Created: Wed Aug 15 14:01:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97li9d/hotspot_shield_vpn_7110_crack_license_key_win_mac/
---
http://crackfullreal.com/hotspot-shield-vpn-7-11-0-key/
[Rant/Rave] Rant + How do i minimize water retention/bloating during my period?
/u/lonelybeet
Created: Wed Aug 15 13:59:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97lhro/rant_how_do_i_minimize_water_retentionbloating/
---
I just finished my period and if my cycle stays consistent I'll be getting my period on vacation next month rip. I don't get super intense bloating in my belly but I do retain water all over like a cactus.
>Enter rant
I've felt like shit all week but as soon as I got off my period it's like my whole body just deflated and I'm dreading the next time it'll inflate. I'm fighting and losing to that voice in my head yelling at me for not being able to lose period ugh.
It just feels like 90% of the effort I put in to look good will be discounted by the 5lb water weight I'll put on. It will show in my face and my body and my clothes. I'm so scared of how much of my abs and my ribs and cheekbones and jaw will disappear into fleshy obscurity. My tits and my arms oh god MY ARMS will get SO big. I'm dreading this vacation and it's not right because I'm going to be celebrating my partner's birthday and our reunion after being apart for 10 months and I should be so excited and happy but I'm really not. We're going to coastal Spain and I managed to work around the food anxiety considering how I can stick to small portions of tapas but now I'm dreading all the salt in them that will make me blow up. I'm so worried about how disgusted I'm going to feel with myself and how I'll feel about wearing skimpy summer clothes and bikinis and holy fucking hell the idea of having sex again. I can't even let myself drink to get past that anxiety because it'll add to the swelling :-)
>End rant
I have a lot of panic attacks when I'm overly caffeinated so diurex isn't the best option- I've heard good things about dandelion and magnesium supplements but can anyone back that up from experience? I'd love some tips and advice or at least commiseration on how their ED fucked up well deserved vacations for them.
[Other] whatās something that makes you really happy?
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 110|17.2|UGW: 105|F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 13:09:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97l36g/whats_something_that_makes_you_really_happy/
---
i want to hear you guys talk about positive stuff for a bit! ive had a really tough, confusing day. i liquid fasted for 36 hours in preparation for a family outing at a buffet and before we left, i weighed myself and i hit a new lw! i didnāt have anything in my system at all so i know next time i weigh myself 107 wonāt be there but i sure did squeal and jump around a little when i saw it this morning. unfortunately i ate a ton at the buffet and i tried to purge it in the bathroom but nothing came up before someone walked in so iām kind of freaking out, but iām sure iāll be fine emotionally if i donāt eat anything for the rest of the day. anyway, after that emotional rollercoaster i want to hear some happy stuff from you lovely people! for example, i saw a man giving his dog a bath in a parking lot and it was sooooo cute i wanted to cry :ā)
[Other] OITNB s6 mentions ED
/u/crossdressingcarp
Created: Wed Aug 15 13:06:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97l22y/oitnb_s6_mentions_ed/
---
aaaand now iām triiiiiiggered. and also a little excited, because itās like i made a cameo. weird.
I ate within my BMR, why do I hate myself so much then?
/u/EDtwED
Created: Wed Aug 15 12:59:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97l015/i_ate_within_my_bmr_why_do_i_hate_myself_so_much/
---
I feel like a fuckup, I ate within my calorie intake to not gain weight but I feel like a fuckup, i feel like a sack of shit.
Why do I want to curl up and cry? Why do I feel like a failure?
Does anyone else have literally no friends? I'm really sad and need to vent.
/u/WholePudding
Created: Wed Aug 15 12:57:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97kzh1/does_anyone_else_have_literally_no_friends_im/
---
I literally don't talk to anyone or have any close friends anymore. I have 2 high school friends but we only see each other several times a year. I have 2 friends who are near me but don't see them often. Other than that, I have a handful of online friends. It feels like I'm so socially stunted... like I don't know how to make conversations with people anymore. I think because of my weight I've been pushing people away this entire time I've been in college, and now I'm about to graduate without having made any meaningful memories or connections. I remember being invited to places in the past, and I flaked on every single one because I felt too ugly to go out. I'm just so full of regrets and self hatred right now. I really want to lose all this weight by December, my graduation month, and hopefully things get better from there. I haven't lost all hope yet, but it's getting there :(
[Rant/Rave] Just b/p'd for the first time in 5 months
/u/AgreeableReplacement [22Fš5'8š~100lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 15 12:46:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97kwfp/just_bpd_for_the_first_time_in_5_months/
---
I've gone from feeling numb to an emotional rollercoaster this past week, idk what happened. Anyway I binged on probably 2500cal yesterday, woke up ravenous and decided to consume another \~3000cal worth of alcohol and junk food. Attempted to purge, got some up, questioned how my life has come to this point then decided that throat fucking myself isn't worth the hassle.
I'm going to try my best to leave this slip up in the past and only let it remind me that b/p'ing and compensating with restriction isn't worth it. I've restricted myself so much from "bad" food these past few months that I can't be mad at myself that this happened, it was kinda inevitable. I'll be holding this food baby down even though its uncomfortable af and at least reap the energy it gives me later.
[Other] I did a thing..!
/u/KattyWampus666 [:karma:163cm | SW: 123kg CW: 93kg GW: ? | 27F:karma:]
Created: Wed Aug 15 12:43:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97kvct/i_did_a_thing/
---
So, my appetite is starting to come back... I found myself face to face with 2 of my major trigger foods, cheesecake and pizza, AND I CHOSE YOGURT.
Feeling pretty awesome right now. Maybe the Vyvanse is going to help with binge eating.
[Goal] Just hit 92.2lbs! How do I stay on track?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine
Created: Wed Aug 15 12:42:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97kv23/just_hit_922lbs_how_do_i_stay_on_track/
---
I was at 98 about 2 weeks ago and was able to drop 6ish lbs. my ultimate goal is 85ā the weight I was before my initial recovery attempt.
I always tend to get weak around the low 90s point, but I REALLY want to hit my goal weight.
What are the best tips and tricks you have to stay on track and avoid temptations?
[Rant/Rave] Triggered by pretty waitresses
/u/jewishtemptress
Created: Wed Aug 15 12:18:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ko3b/triggered_by_pretty_waitresses/
---
Oof. I went out to dinner with a friend in another town, and all of the waitresses were toned skinny girls with perfect summer tans. I felt huge compared to them! I tried to make myself purge afterwards and literally couldnāt even gag. I hate it.
So, I think I have a clue about why my ED is so satisfying
/u/unsentoffmythrowaway
Created: Wed Aug 15 12:17:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97knpx/so_i_think_i_have_a_clue_about_why_my_ed_is_so/
---
This is just me spitballing trying to act like I'm Freud or some shit.
Everyone always leaves me, always. Of course the weight loss is amazing but being able to be in control of something is nice, but that's the answer to almost every ED is "control". That's not everyone's answer but it's mine. Still feels uncontrollable and like shit if I eat over, but eutrophic if I stay in my range.
Anyways, if I feel so in control when I have why do I feel like shit whenever I eat over? Whenever I have a high calorie meal that can be my only meal of the day or that I have to skip lunch over?
Doesn't help I have a vitamin D deficiency because of some health issues, so I take vitamin D pills but shit.
Sometimes I just want to fucking eat and say "fuck this restricting" god damn I love food. But the I wouldn't be in control.
Saw a picture of my husband's ex
/u/obviousEDthrowaway
Created: Wed Aug 15 12:10:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97klg3/saw_a_picture_of_my_husbands_ex/
---
It shouldn't matter. I saw her Facebook today, in my people you may know section, because we have a lot of my husband's friends in common and I looked because I'm self destructive.
She's fat. Really fat. She blames it on her PCOS, but all the photos of her drinking heavily and huge portions when she goes out to eat don't lie. It made me feel good. Especially because I've lost 55 pounds in the last few months, going from obese to a healthy BMI with no current sight on ending my losing streak.
But then I noticed a "tbt" post she made a few days ago and the picture was taken when they were dating. She looked amazing. She was so thin and tall and she dressed so fucking nice. My husband even remarked about how well she kept herself together when they were dating (this was before I knew what she looked like). She looked so tall and angular and genuinely happy. That's what he was with when he was with her.
Since I got married to him, I went through a horrible depression because of an injury I suffered that left me with chronic pain and an inability to do most things I used to enjoy. I gained roughly 70 pounds in my depression and went from being thin and toned (was in the Army, exercised daily and ate well) to obese and emotionally empty.
I feel fucking miserable. I was feeling good about my weight loss, I was proud, I pulled out an old pair of short-shorts that I used to wear and saw they fit. I felt great. Now I just want to wear all my baggiest clothes and fast and sleep for the next week.
I ruined my body with my weight gain. My tits are fucking huge and I've gained 2 cup sizes since gaining and I can't lose them. My arms are saggy, my stomach still pooches out, my legs are soft and have none of the muscle I had when I was thinner.
I'm getting skinnier but I'm not going to have my old body back no matter how hard I try. I'm not going to have the body I had when we first got together. I'm not. And no matter how much I restrict, I'm never going to look like her.
Hahahhahahahkillme
Goodbye, hopefully for forever!
/u/halostop [19.6 | Recoveryish | 23F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 11:40:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97kc05/goodbye_hopefully_for_forever/
---
Thank you to everyone who has offered me support/advice/an ear since I created this account about a month ago. It gave me what I needed -- a safe place to vent my frustrations and feel a little less lonely.
I so appreciate this loving community, but I've spent too much time here stewing in my disordered thoughts. I need to put my focus on new, better, more healthy things.
I am exhausted with my ED. I would really like to move past it and create a better future for myself.
I've been to hell with my eating disorder, but I've returned from its depths. So I'll leave you with one last unsolicited reminder to those who need it: recovery is possible. I truly believe that, despite having struggled for half of my life with this bullshit.
Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with patience and love, as you would a child.
Feeling down
/u/cherryxnut
Created: Wed Aug 15 11:03:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97k0qz/feeling_down/
---
Iām overweight. I let myself get extra fucking fat after recovering once already. I stepped on the scale this morning after 5 days of 500 calories or less and is stayed resolutely at the same fatass number. Anyone have any advice or words of encouragement?
[Discussion] I feel like a big fraud and I hope nobody ever finds out
/u/sunnshine67 [5'4 Vampire| GW1: 120 | CW:141 | -24 | ]
Created: Wed Aug 15 10:58:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97jz2q/i_feel_like_a_big_fraud_and_i_hope_nobody_ever/
---
I went to group therapy this summer and I thought it helped but now Iām back to square one lmao but I decided to be honest with my friends as part of my recovery and told them I went and I felt better. Now Iām back on my bullshit but I have a lot of friends asking therapy helped and if they think it would help their body image issues (none of them having an ED I donāt think). So Iām sitting here saying defiantly go itāll help (which I think it will actually help them) but the lie is Iām saying def go it helped me so much, Iām suddenly betterā¢ļø. That my issues are still there but i can know cope with them and not have them affect my life, which is a giant lie. People always say they think Iām so confident because Iām outgoing and personable and I always say āof course I am, I donāt have a reason not to beā and then we all laugh and move on but on the inside Iām like haha yeah so confident that I cried over eating an extra 50 g of apple the other day and the fact that every morning I look in the mirror for 5-10 minutes grabbing all the parts of my body that I hate, and so confident that i seek validation from people who donāt matter. I guess itās good because nobody will probably notice any of my bad food behaviors or at the least will just think āwow sheās so disciplined with her weight lossā . Anyone else convinced the people in their life everything is great and hope nobody finds out?
MOOD
/u/misssarajones [5'2 | CW: 144 | HW: 175 | UGW: 110-115 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 10:38:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97jskb/mood/
---
https://i.redd.it/dcad8bx5cag11.jpg
[Help] Alternative calorie counter to MFP??
/u/navillanavilla
Created: Wed Aug 15 10:35:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97jrjl/alternative_calorie_counter_to_mfp/
---
MFP is really weighing on my soul rn. Iāve been binging daily for 4 weeks and Iām up to 140 from 128. Iām so pissed. Ten more lbs and I wouldāve been underweight and at my thinnest Iāve been in three years. I hate that I can see all of my past transgressions. I hate the days that I didnāt record because I know what happened.
Is there a really good, fully functioning calorie counter that is accurate and easy to use like MFP? Iāve tried a couple others but they didnāt offer a lot of the things MFP does
[Help] I want to kms.
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Wed Aug 15 10:20:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97jmuh/i_want_to_kms/
---
I wrote another post the other day, some of you might have read it. I'm on vacation and I'm forced to eat so much food. With my TDEE being 1600 calories, I'll probably gain a lot of wieght. I can't even exercise because I don't have a room to myself, I sleep in my grandparents' living room. It's been a few days and I'm already so bloated it's painful, literally. I look in the mirror and cry, my body dysmorphia is so bad. I'm trying not to cry right now, but I'm thinking about all the weight I'll gain and I literally want to kill myself. I feel so flabby. *I can't* go back to my old weight. I don't know what to do.
Trusted online pharmacy. Buy ED pills online w/p
/u/Professional_Turn
Created: Wed Aug 15 10:04:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97jhn2/trusted_online_pharmacy_buy_ed_pills_online_wp/
---
http://edshoptab.com/?lang=en&cur=USD&a=78609
That 'anorexic' face shape?
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Wed Aug 15 09:57:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97jf7w/that_anorexic_face_shape/
---
I noticed in a lot of videos or pictures, usually with very severe cases of anorexia, that the people have very square faces after a point, usually it's the jaw bone at the corners that is unusually big.It looks soo similar in a lot of people - this is one video where I noticed it first: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy_RPP2eIfk
I'm nowhere near underweight, but I'm starting to have this too, and it's not some kind of sunken in face or so, it's a really strong jaw which I really really dislike! :( What is this? How do I reduce it?
My theory is that it might me from constantly chewing gum (this actually strenghtens the jaw muscle) and biting my inner cheeks all day, I often wake up from a jaw hurting. My face was oval before, and I started to lose face so it would be slimmer, and now it's even wider, I could cry :((
[Help] Best lifestyle for weight loss?
/u/eva1588
Created: Wed Aug 15 09:49:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97jcyq/best_lifestyle_for_weight_loss/
---
What do you guys think is the best lifestyle for weight loss? How much movement or energy do you actually expend without it causing you to get hungry? My sister was anorexic and she said that she just slowly stopped eating, It was a progression, and she didn't really work out. I have been working out, and I live in a city so I am always walking, and I think it is stalling my weight loss because I think I could eat less if I wasn't active. What do you guys think?
Recovery means letting go of safe foods.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Wed Aug 15 09:49:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97jcq2/recovery_means_letting_go_of_safe_foods/
---
Safe foods are a crutch. We all use them. Every day, I break my fast with my designated "safe foods." Having a dietary routine isn't disordered, but food rigidity is. Situations will arise where you're unable to access your safe foods, and recovery means that you need to accept those situations.
Instead of relying on safe foods, you must step outside of your comfort zone. You can eat healthily outside of your designated safe foods. You can eat nutritious meals that don't have your safe foods.
Let them go. One day this week, I want you to eat something that's not safe. Not a trigger food. Not junk food. Just an unsafe food. You don't have to eat the whole thing, either!
how to tell parents about my supposed eating disorder
/u/kaylaaddieJC
Created: Wed Aug 15 09:45:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97jbpm/how_to_tell_parents_about_my_supposed_eating/
---
hello. i am a long time lurker in this subreddit, and i know that i have an eating disorder probably anorexia. today it spiral into something that i myself am scared of. i need help, i know that.
the thing is i have no financial capability to seek help without my parents. i am underage as well. my family is asian. so we are gonna put that up front first.
i have a issue, i am not some ed-wannabe. i am fucking sure of that, today i had a panic attack in public, i blacked out for at least 20 minutes, and i needed to eat, i do not dare to eat, and honestly, i forced myself to have a banana just 20 minutes ago. i need help, i am scared so scared right now. i am so scared that it will be too late if i donāt tell my parents about it. the experience today wasnāt a pleasant one, the forcing myself to eat so that i donāt faint in the toilet while i am showering, it scares the fuck out of me.
back to asian parents. my parents are asian, and idk if itās generalizing. but my parents do not believe in mental health, they think itās bullshit. and i dont know how will they react if i tell them that i might be struggling with an eating disorder. i was depressed af when i was 13, and my mom just outright told me i have nothing to be depressed about, and how i need to stop cutting for attention(leading to me now cutting in hidden areas) i donāt know if they will believe me if i say i have an issue, i donāt know if they will laugh it off like how they did when i was younger. i am in the low healthy range for my bmi, and i feel that that will make them not believe me even more.
but i really really think that i need help, todayās experience just scares the f out of me. anybody have some advice as to how i can get them to trust me and maybe bring me to the doctor?
thank you
when you and your sister both clearly have EDs and your divorcing parents don't notice...
/u/kskobg
Created: Wed Aug 15 09:37:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97j998/when_you_and_your_sister_both_clearly_have_eds/
---
the way my sister and i eat and exercise and how it's started bouncing off each other is getting pretty bad tbh. we just encourage each other subconsciously. i dont think she thinks she has a problem. we both freak out if we miss a day at the gym. if i don't go to the gym, she says something judgmental to me about it to make me feel like shit about it. the other day i was eating a rice cake with a tiny swipe of peanut butter on it before a workout and she passed by me and goes "you know peanut butter has a ton of calories right?" like yes i do know and now i'm going to spend an extra hour in the gym when i was just trying to have a little splurge for more energy for my workout. we ran out of fiber one 90 cal (per 2 slice) bread in my house and all that was left was 120 calorie protein bread (per 1 slice). i silently was upset in my head about it and ate my one dry slice of toast when i wanted my two fiber one slices. I walked past my sister in the kitchen just now and she comments "all we have is fat bread". it just really struck me then how normal disordered eating is in my house. and how this is all happening in front of my parents and they don't think it's bad or strange. I'm worried about my little sister and i'm worried about myself but god only knows i'd rather keep going than be fat. fml
[Help] Walking in a city making me more hungry??
/u/eva1588
Created: Wed Aug 15 09:28:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97j6af/walking_in_a_city_making_me_more_hungry/
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Any one live in NYC or a city and have to walk everywhere? I feel like I get more hungry living here because of all the walking. I have a long commute and I can feel myself starting to get hungry when I am walking a lot. I find it hard to restrict as much as I want to when i get home. Anyone else experience this? What can be done about it?
No. Just no.
/u/UnderseaK [5'7 |cw:145lbs |BMI 22.7 | gw:110lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 15 09:22:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97j4kv/no_just_no/
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Yesterday I had an upsetting experience with a life insurance salesman, of all things. The guy came by to sign us up for my hubby's work life insurance (no cost, holla!), and he was super nice. Really lovely man, told us all about his family and how he and his wife work in their church.
BUT as he was walking out, he spotted our wedding photo on the mantel and started commenting on how I've clearly lost a lot of weight and how much better I look. Not like one comment either, he kept going on about how it was "clearly a change for the better", how I "look amazing now", and how I must "feel amazing now". Like, no. No I do not feel better. I am cold, I am hungry, and I have fallen back into self harm because of how much I hate myself.
I cried looking at that picture after he left because I remember how much better I felt then. How happy I was, how sexy I felt, and how comfortable I was with my body despite being 230lbs! I just really wish people would stop commenting on other peoples' bodies. You never know what someone else is going through, and it just isn't okay.
[Rant/Rave] I just pooped and lost a pound
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 15 09:15:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97j2f5/i_just_pooped_and_lost_a_pound/
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Lol yes I weigh myself before and after the rare occasions that I can poop
I ate KFC today for the first time in a week
/u/WishingToBeAna
Created: Wed Aug 15 09:06:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97j018/i_ate_kfc_today_for_the_first_time_in_a_week/
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I'm sorry. I know this is gross. I was working (work at KFC), it was around 2, and was starting to get a bit woozy cause I hadn't eaten today yet, and I got on break and fell to temptation.
But.
But, but, but, but, but my friend, I had a weird, awkward situation where after I got back to work, I tried to get to the toilet so I could purge it out. But....
Work is work.
So basically I worked on empty stomach, have no will or self control, then purged in between serving customers today.
Sooo Bronkaid.
/u/miss_erica_court
Created: Wed Aug 15 08:48:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97iuhx/sooo_bronkaid/
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Finally tried it and I already like it way too much. Can I take it every day without dying?
[Help] I need help before I self-destruct.
/u/PandaApex22
Created: Wed Aug 15 08:47:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97iu5h/i_need_help_before_i_selfdestruct/
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One of my biggest triggers is reaching a new low weight (Iām overweight) so when I lose weight I know people are going to start commenting on my body and how good I look and just the thought of all this attention toward my body and appearance is stressing me out and making me want to binge but also kind of never eat again. And i know Iāve made so much progress (1 month of no binging now) and Iām at least acknowledging that this is a trigger for me, but I donāt know how to cope with it and Iām worried the stress of it all is going to send me straight back into the depths of my eating disorder. But Iāve been struggling with this ED now for ten years and Iām finally starting to recover and Iām terrified of back-tracking and failing once again!
HOW DID I GET THIS FAT TO BEGIN WITH?!?!- I'm sitting here struggling to eat healthy and make an OMAD breakfast at a healthy calcount of 1000-1200 but it's taken SOOOO much food I'm gonna struggle to finish it and all I got was 800!!!
/u/DootDeeDootDeeDoo [5'0|BMI:46.6|SW:285|CW:237|GW:75|FtM]
Created: Wed Aug 15 08:46:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97iu0w/how_did_i_get_this_fat_to_begin_with_im_sitting/
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https://i.imgur.com/Jj51IWi.jpg
[Goal] May 2016 to now (roughly 72 pounds - most of it in the last 8 months) 10 lbs to GW
/u/fweakybby [5ā5ā | 132| 22.0 | 68lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 08:24:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97inmb/may_2016_to_now_roughly_72_pounds_most_of_it_in/
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https://i.redd.it/meylnhd9o9g11.jpg
[Help] Help me.
/u/AllyAllien
Created: Wed Aug 15 08:23:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97inc5/help_me/
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I'm so stuck in my own head. My life isn't bad. I lead a pretty cushy one actually. I'm 14 and it's the summer holidays. I should be having fun, outside with friends, making memories, enjoying my teenage years. Experiencing life. But instead I have no motivation to even leave my bed. Without school I can easily not go outside at all for days until my parents force me to take my siblings to the park or something. Everything seems pointless. I feel numb and depressed all the time and I hate my body. Losing weight gives me some kind of meaning and it's stupid and messed up but that's what it is. A goal to aim for because I have nothing else. Yes, I know. I'm young. I should go out and enjoy life. But I choose not to and instead starve myself all day, alone, wasting away in my room. I don't have any delusions that once I lose the weight I'll be happy. I'll just be miserable and skinny. Doesn't stop me, though. I need school to start and distract me from everything. I can't handle laying here dwelling in my own self pity any longer. I'm so bored that I treat the one person who cares about me and loves me unfairly. I get crabby and lash out at him. I have no one but him and I somehow also manage to fuck things up with him on a regular basis, too. I just want to be okay. I've been in this melancholy state for two years now and it was only just getting better but now I'm plummeting again. All I can do is melodramatically scream help me into the void.
[Rant/Rave] First binge in ten days... back to square one.
/u/AllAnchorsAway
Created: Wed Aug 15 08:00:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97igtc/first_binge_in_ten_days_back_to_square_one/
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\*sigh\*
I binged on some "safe food" two nights ago and I was uncontrollable yesterday. Several bags of popcorn, three handfuls of mini candy bars, and a full meal at a fast food place (including a non-diet soda).
It really sucks to have a set back like that, but I'm hoping to be back on track today. Here's to drinking lots of water and hoping I didn't do too much damage.
Thanks for listening. <3
When I first saw this number years ago I was angry at being too thin. Now I'd give anything to be back at this weight. I more than doubled it this past year.
/u/Simplespider
Created: Wed Aug 15 07:55:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ifle/when_i_first_saw_this_number_years_ago_i_was/
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https://i.redd.it/y7n3yk81j9g11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I feel so stupid :(
/u/kiill-me-now
Created: Wed Aug 15 07:51:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97iene/i_feel_so_stupid/
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I told myself I was tired of binging and purging (with laxatives and exercise) and fasting. I have lost as much weight as I have gained this summer and I'm just exhausted. I told myself I didn't deserve this, I deserve to be happy and healthy. So I made all these big plans to eat normally, start lifting weights, be health conscious instead of obsessed... But all I did was end up binging and binging and I gained three pounds :( I took waaaay too many laxatives and now I just feel defeated :( I don't want to do anything, I don't want to see anyone, I feel fat and disgusting and like I wasted all of those days I spent fasting. Why did I think I could just magically have a normal relationship with food? The mood is just a big, fat :(
[Other] 162lbs to 115lbs. I'm 5"5. Don't give up.
/u/justfucknendmylife
Created: Wed Aug 15 07:35:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ia93/162lbs_to_115lbs_im_55_dont_give_up/
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https://i.redd.it/i0z6eyyff9g11.jpg
[Discussion] what do you guys mix cauliflower rice with?
/u/namelessgia
Created: Wed Aug 15 07:25:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97i7im/what_do_you_guys_mix_cauliflower_rice_with/
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i finally got some and iām dying to try it but i donāt know where to start without tripling the calories with sauce ><
[Rant/Rave] So i've got some good news and ive got some bad news
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Wed Aug 15 06:59:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97i0on/so_ive_got_some_good_news_and_ive_got_some_bad/
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Good News: I've lost 2 lbs and my mom completely messed up dinner and now i have an excuse not to eat
Bad News: I'm bloated to almighty fucking heck
[Rant/Rave] I haven't weighed myself in almost a month
/u/Beanutpean
Created: Wed Aug 15 06:47:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97hxv8/i_havent_weighed_myself_in_almost_a_month/
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And it's fucking killing me. I recently moved out of my parents to live on my own and because I'm essentially broke from buying necessary household items, I've neglected to buy a scale. I know they're dirt cheap virtually anywhere but I was really proud of myself for not needed to use one. I was wrong. I need to. I feel like I'm losing weight again but I really need to know if I really am. I was between 118-120 lbs before I moved and I'd like to think I'm between 112-115 but it's making me so anxious not knowing. I really don't want to cave and buy one, but I feel like if I don't soon I'm going to fall more deeply into old habits and fully start restricting again. I'm trying so hard to stay strong.
How did your GP react to finding out about your ED
/u/Sleepy_Golden_Storm [5'5" | CW: 112 lbs | GW: 95 lbs | 18F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 06:42:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97hwtl/how_did_your_gp_react_to_finding_out_about_your_ed/
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That's a terrible title and I'm sorry. Okay so this feels like a bit of a stupid question but I couldn't find a real answer anywhere else and I've decided to just bite the bullet and ask it myself lol
I have no past diagnosis of an ED, and definitely no desire to recover right now, so It's been bothering the hell out of me wondering what the effect of telling my doctor/doctor finding out will be. But at the same time my health is pretty shit and I think I'd like to have the comfort of someone knowing what to monitor and why, so I can feel like all of the boxes are being checked and I'm not about to drop dead from sudden cardiac arrest. Which wouldn't be super awesome. So just a general rundown of how the scenario is likely to play out *would* be awesome. That is - the consequences of informing the physician, not dying of heart failure. Pretty sure I've got that one down
Daily Food Diary! August 15, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 15 06:11:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97hptz/daily_food_diary_august_15_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 15, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday August 15, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 15 06:11:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97hpqw/way_to_go_wednesday_august_15_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for August 15, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
What's the longest fast you've ever done? Was it worth it?
/u/DenverTheLastDinosau
Created: Wed Aug 15 06:01:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97hnin/whats_the_longest_fast_youve_ever_done_was_it/
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I do 24 hour fasts all the time and find them really easy because I took a long time getting used to OMAD. I have however found it really difficult to go any further than that because my main motivator for doing OMAD is telling myself that I can have a nice meal at the end of the day, so there's no point binging at lunch time or whatever. I have probably done countless 24 hour fasts, but have never reached a 48 hour one yet.
I'm just trying to get some inspiration here and wonder if there's a point? I lose weight slowly doing 24 hour fasts, and I've noticed that when people do longer ones, like 7 days, they lose weight and then gain half of it back after only one day of eating. I don't want to go do a fast for several days, or even weeks, if I regain most of the weight, probably meaning I could've just done OMAD and lost something similar. Any stories?
[Goal] First goal met
/u/audreyhepburnwho
Created: Wed Aug 15 05:31:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97hhae/first_goal_met/
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Lowest weight, 63kg which i reached Last summer. Then spent this last year in a binge/restrict cycle, gaining up to 73... Been in a restriction kick since the beginning of july and am now at 66kg which was my first goal be aus that's the weight where my favorite shorts fit - wearing them for the first time in a year right now <3 (the only good thing about yo-yoing so much is i can pinpoint which clothes fit at which weight and in which order each body part shrinks or gains. Like i can precisely tell you my stomach gets flatter only from 64kg on). So yeah, yaaaaaaaaay! Finally I don't hate how i look. Next goal is 62 so i can have a new LW, and that's my ugw for now but i think I'm gonna try to go until 60. Either way I'm very hsppy even though this time last year i was skinnier, because im finally undoing months of bingeing and hating myself. And it's going so fast too. Low restriction and over exercising really does wonders. This is why it's impossĆble for anyone to convince me to lose weight "tHe hEAltHy WaY". Why would i lose half a kilo a week when i apparently can lose 7 in a month. Anyway.... Next goal here i fucking come.
[Rant/Rave] Irrational Thoughts
/u/MissMichuMoo [1.68m | 54.7kg | 19.4 | GW: 53kg | F26:cat_blep:]
Created: Wed Aug 15 05:28:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97hgmx/irrational_thoughts/
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I'm eating a pre-weighed amount of baby carrots and celery, and I see a skinny girl on my Insta Feed.
\*My Brain - You'll never be that skinny because you're eating.
It's like 5 thumb sized baby carrots. Get your shit together.
proud of myself
/u/cmetery
Created: Wed Aug 15 05:06:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97hc9n/proud_of_myself/
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usually when i go through trauma i either binge or i fast, but i woke up early and made my family breakfast and ate an apple pancake. with no guilt!
[Discussion] DAE crave foods that you don't even like?
/u/pillbus [5'0 | GW: 90 | 19F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 05:00:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97hb05/dae_crave_foods_that_you_dont_even_like/
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I'm fasting rn and just had a strong craving for spaghetti. In my head I was like "mmm imagine how yummy that would taste" and then abruptly remembered that I don't even like spaghetti??
On one hand it helps remind me that cravings are meaningless and I don't have to listen to them. :D
But on the other hand, now I want pasta. >:(
[Help] Have any of you been close to getting help but you chose your disorder?
/u/clemintide
Created: Wed Aug 15 04:22:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97h4ky/have_any_of_you_been_close_to_getting_help_but/
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I would appreciate if anyone discussed their experience with this. As it has happened to me, and I feel even more guilty now.
[Help] calories in a can of little fat lamb?
/u/isaezraa [165 | cw 53.5 | gw 52.5 | f | trying to be "healthy" lmao]
Created: Wed Aug 15 04:20:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97h45t/calories_in_a_can_of_little_fat_lamb/
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[heres the dan murphys link](https://www.danmurphys.com.au/product/DM_561684/little-fat-lamb-brewed-lemon-cans-10-pack-375ml) itās basically a 8% cider, MFP says its 213 for a 375ml can, but idk how reliable it is and i cant find any other info online, any ideas?
I've been restricting to sub 1000 cal for 2 weeks. It's just a 500 cal deficit but I feel so weak - how to fix this??
/u/PandiThrowaway1 [5'2" | CW 129 | GW 105 | -15 lb | F(22)]
Created: Wed Aug 15 04:02:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97h0xj/ive_been_restricting_to_sub_1000_cal_for_2_weeks/
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I'm 5'2" female and my TDEE is around 1500 cal, and I've been eating around 900 - 1000 cal these past two weeks. I feel fine when I'm sedentary. Usually I can easily push myself up on my kitchen bench to grab something from the tall cupboard, but today I could barely do it - my arms felt weak and shakey even though I'd eaten, and when I had to lightly jog like 50m to catch my bus, by the end my heart was pounding so hard it was like I did a 100m sprint and I felt faint for like a full minute afterwards... This is not normal for me.
How do I prevent this? I'm only eating at a 500 cal deficit and I don't actually feel starved. Help.
[Discussion] Can we PLEASE talk about insatiable on Netflix???
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | CW: 68kg | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 03:41:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97gxhn/can_we_please_talk_about_insatiable_on_netflix/
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Oh my god this show. Itās so perfect. Itās so triggering and spot on and Iām obsessed.
I got to this one scene where **SPOILERS**
Patty tried on a bikini in the dressing room and is sobbing because she hates herself and feels fat and ugly and shit and her best friend was trying to cheer her up and oh my god it was like watching myself. Crazy.
Anyone else watch it??
A fraud in the house!
/u/plutocity
Created: Wed Aug 15 03:19:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97gtyf/a_fraud_in_the_house/
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it's me, I
Struggling
/u/yourangelgf
Created: Wed Aug 15 02:24:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97gl1h/struggling/
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Hey Iāve been recovering from EDNOS for about 2 years now and Iāve recently gone through a large weight gain in a small amount of time and am struggling not to fall back into harmful habits.
I just feel so terrible about myself no matter what I do or eat, any advice?
[Other] Yāall keep me going
/u/landfill7707
Created: Wed Aug 15 02:15:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97gjrv/yall_keep_me_going/
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Just wanted to let you guys know that this sub is one of the few things keeping me going. I like to read through whenever I have time and itās kinda dumb but I feel like Iām not so alone in all of this so thanks <3
36 hours
/u/SextMex
Created: Wed Aug 15 02:06:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97gi4b/36_hours/
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It's been about 36 hours since my last meal and I'm probably going to get a whole 3 hours of sleep because I'm up stressing about having to eat in order to function at work tomorrow. Even if eating is two cheese sticks and a pouch of nuts.
I hate this.
Borrowed Time Again
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:FAT | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Wed Aug 15 01:44:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97geq0/borrowed_time_again/
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I'm waiting. You're waiting. Today's calories, tomorrow's calories. I wait to not eat before work. I'm waiting for the bus to not eat after work. I'm waiting to sleep to not eat that night. I wake up, feed my dog and I wait while she eats, because if I'm not waiting, I'm eating.
Or drinking. Richard when will you learn. When the bones on your neck show? When the fat at your elbow thins into a divot you pick at all day to feel skinny? When those skinny jeans that belongs to your sister finally fits? When all your hair has fallen out? When your hips bang against everything? When you can compare your weight to someone on the internet? When you can eat without counting your fingers? When you can eat without checking the notepad of numbers? When you can eat while drinking? When a grape is rounded up to a hundred calories? When a chicken wing is a full meal? When a cigarette is lunch and dinner?
When can you eat? I'm waiting for the answer, Richard. I'm always waiting.
[Discussion] Have y'all found losertown to be accurate?
/u/ronswansoooon
Created: Wed Aug 15 01:23:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97gb95/have_yall_found_losertown_to_be_accurate/
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When your coworkers are impressed that you barely ever eat and ask how you only eat 300 cals a day and youāre like .... wtf is wrong with you
/u/ivyrmorgan
Created: Wed Aug 15 01:20:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97gap8/when_your_coworkers_are_impressed_that_you_barely/
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[Discussion] DAE have no idea where the number on the scale comes from?
/u/lupoverde
Created: Wed Aug 15 00:47:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97g52p/dae_have_no_idea_where_the_number_on_the_scale/
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Iām 5ft 6 and weighed in at 158lbs after restricting for the last few weeks. Which officially marks me as overweight and Iām also terrified of the number being that high. But when I look at my body, I swear, Iām not even that big? Like for sure Iām not skinny either (and I want to be skinny) , but if you saw me in the street I donāt think youād class me as overweight either?
I think a bit driving factor is to just get that number down. I literally CANT be 158lbs. I donāt get it.
What's your current motivation? I'm going to Europe in December so that's been highly motivating me to stay on track.
/u/ronswansoooon
Created: Wed Aug 15 00:38:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97g3g0/whats_your_current_motivation_im_going_to_europe/
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I've been doing a solely liquid diet for the past month now, I'm not expecting to be able to keep it up until devember. However, I will continue my 500 calorie allotment. I'm planning to start doing ADF in September, where on my "fasting" days, I'll consume solely liquids. I haven't binged at all this month which is fucking insane for me. I really think that having something in the future to motivate me is helping a lot.
[Discussion] DAE with a restrictive ED spend a ridiculous amount of money on food?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 15 00:26:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97g1fa/dae_with_a_restrictive_ed_spend_a_ridiculous/
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I feel like this is totally counter-intuitive but I find myself feeling like if Iām going to eat at all, it should be āworth itā, so I find myself frequently doing things like ordering delivery from that one particular place across town where the rice bowls are exactly 400 calories or going to Starbucks because I know which drinks are low cal. I feel like it should be cheap to be starving but nope... Iāve managed to turn it into a huge money suck. Is anyone else like this?
Meal prep for the next week after a 10,000 calorie binge šš
/u/Jksaldf
Created: Tue Aug 14 23:56:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97fw1h/meal_prep_for_the_next_week_after_a_10000_calorie/
---
https://i.redd.it/cacknv5j57g11.jpg
[Help] Summerās Over!! Time to Starve Myself!!
/u/1caru3
Created: Tue Aug 14 23:53:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97fvga/summers_over_time_to_starve_myself/
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Hey whatās up itās your friendly neighborhood dumbass here having a panic attack at 1 am because school starts in literally 36 hours and I am 300 miles away from home (vacation) and am still. fat.
My summer has been so unstructured with vacations and binges littered around, and at one point I actually thought I was recovered because I didnāt even count calories or purge for like a month??? lmao what??
But hey, guess whoās back and stronger than ever? Itās fucking me. And the extra 5+ lbs.
Anyways! It seems like a structured day keeps me from eating so since school is starting soon, that means itās time to fast because I donāt know (or want to know, anyways) how to lose weight like a normal, healthy person.
But my parents will be suspicious if I stop eating all of a sudden because I ate like Iād never eaten before this summer. So the real question is: how do I hide fasting from my family?
TLDR: Girl binges whole summer than freaks out because school is starting, wants to know how to fast without people knowing
[Discussion] How long do your binge/restrict periods usually last?
/u/catsrule-humansdrool [5'5 | CW 153.8 | -57.2 lbs | 25.6 BMI | 23F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 23:52:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97fvca/how_long_do_your_bingerestrict_periods_usually/
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I havenāt been formally diagnosed but my whole life up until January, I really struggled with my weight. Then in January I decided to start starving myself :) and did really great with that and lost a ton of weight! In May though I started losing control, and while most days Iām able to come out even or with only a slight calorie excess, it still feels like I have no control. And there are some days or weeks (like the past few days) where I just want to eat ALL THE JUNK FOOD and itās incredibly hard to resist. I havenāt had a good restriction day in weeks, and I really miss it and would love to get back to that point so I can finally get to my UGW. I havenāt really lost any weight at all since May and itās really making me feel like crap.
Weighing myself ten times a day and hating myself for the number not plummeting every hour.
/u/JayLenoBlows [trans | BPD | 18f]
Created: Tue Aug 14 23:42:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ftf3/weighing_myself_ten_times_a_day_and_hating_myself/
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Why am I like this.
Good and Bad Days
/u/TouchedDistortion
Created: Tue Aug 14 23:12:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97fn9i/good_and_bad_days/
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Today I went shopping with my mom, fit into xs under armor bicycle shorts, and better yet, my mom picked me out a running shirt that I tried on and fit perfectly only to tell me after it was a children's size medium (I'm 20 years old).
I'm still not that small tbh but it did feel really nice to not be able to buy things bc they weren't available in xs. We got home and my mom called me "skinny as a harp" whatever that means. Unfortunately I went out with some friends after and ate a 700 calorie dessert and low key hate myself now :(
Just needed to rant/rave about some sweet and some sour :/
[Help] An app that will calculate weight even if you're under what you should be?
/u/bbygrl_xo
Created: Tue Aug 14 23:07:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97fm74/an_app_that_will_calculate_weight_even_if_youre/
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Hi guys! I was wondering if there's an app that will calculate your weight even if you're under your calorie limit? I'm sure most of you know MFP won't and I tried searching the sub but didn't see anything, then again the Reddit app search function is horrible. Thanks!!
[Help] Low to no calorie foods?
/u/eva1588
Created: Tue Aug 14 23:03:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97flg4/low_to_no_calorie_foods/
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What are some low or absolutely no calorie foods? Right now Iām really liking spicy brown mustard, pickles and cucumbers. Are there any other foods that are super low cal besides vegetables? Iām interested in condiments and salad dressings. Any suggestions?
[Rant/Rave] I have the wrist of a 2 year old child and yet...
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Tue Aug 14 23:03:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97flg3/i_have_the_wrist_of_a_2_year_old_child_and_yet/
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I weigh 150 lbs. I donāt get this. I wear size 27/26 pants but I weigh 150. I wear a size M as tops but I still weigh 150. I can feel my collar bones and spine and ribs but i fucking weigh 150!
Like What The Fuck?!?!
How is this possible?! I should be a size 32, a XL and not be able to feel bones... but i do?
Idk if itās because I workout so I gain muscle? Iām so confused. I donāt feel comfortable like this. I hate it.
[Rant/Rave] Tracked a binge for once, not sure how I feel about that
/u/CompetitionEater
Created: Tue Aug 14 23:00:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97fkmn/tracked_a_binge_for_once_not_sure_how_i_feel/
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http://imgur.com/gallery/FIrFPcS
I know that it's kinda small compared to some of you guys, but obviously I'm not losing any weight today.
Just had to talk about it to somebody. I'm glad I was already wearing a loose t-shirt today because I can't even keep my tummy from spilling over my jeans right now.
Love you guys, sorry for complaining.
[Rant/Rave] Someone told me I was looking healthier and it was upsetting
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5" | CW:127 | GW:115 | lost -72 | 20M]
Created: Tue Aug 14 22:45:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97fhky/someone_told_me_i_was_looking_healthier_and_it/
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I gained somewhere between 5-8 lbs after some really extreme bingeing for several days a couple weeks ago. Before that, people were telling me I was getting too thin, and it felt good and motivating. But now I guess I don't look too thin anymore.
[Goal] Finally fitting in a size 00 skirt again ~
/u/jellyboness [5'4" | BMI:18.2 | CW:106lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 14 22:20:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97fc6u/finally_fitting_in_a_size_00_skirt_again/
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https://i.redd.it/h4bfu4jfo6g11.jpg
Hello darkness my old friend
/u/aworkinprogress_
Created: Tue Aug 14 22:17:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97fbfz/hello_darkness_my_old_friend/
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I fucking swear to god every month I delete my fucking account on here and tell myself Iām gonna try and recover, then fall back into old habits and just say fuck it, and make new r/proed and MPA accounts
Anyways, hereās to breaking 105 by October 4.
[Rant/Rave] iām gross :ā)
/u/putridaffection [5'0 | CW š | GW š„ | 29F | š mochiqueen]
Created: Tue Aug 14 22:12:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97faet/im_gross/
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i had to stop recording my intake earlier tonight because i simply couldnāt keep up with my own mouth. if we had it, i ate it. chicken nuggets, tater tots, dark chocolate sesame caramels, cheese puffs, ice cream, cookie butter...i couldnāt seem to stop. and then i got my period like half an hour later, for the second time this month, because my body hates me
thanks for reading. i just needed to complain for a minute
[Rant/Rave] Body dysmorphia and i feel like a total failure for not losing this summer
/u/LemonsnRoses
Created: Tue Aug 14 22:11:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97fa8l/body_dysmorphia_and_i_feel_like_a_total_failure/
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Last summer I lost 20+ pounds, going from 20 pounds overweight to a healthy weight. Nobody mentioned anything, as it would be rude, but a friend of mine said that when I came back to school she only thought āwowā because I had changed so much. Then I vowed to lose the same amount this summer, if not more or even a little less should things go awry. Iāve lost probably 5lbs, but my body fluctuates so much that each time I hit the weight Iāve plateaued at (139) I regain back to 144+. I know that itās food weight or water weight or even just a pound and those things combined, but I feel like Iāve done nothing.
I can barely see any change in my body over the summer. Even from my starting weight. I look at my first body checks, and itās not enough. Logically, I know that I look different. My bones show more, I can see my ribs when I duck in and my collarbones are prominent. But I still feel like the same doughy monster that I always have been. Itās not enough of a change to warrant feeling like such sh*t.
I suck at losing during the school year. At least, I did last year. This year itās not an option. My TDEE is only 1600, and when youāre at school all day and donāt have energy to work out or the time, itās hard to burn much. Not to mention the mindless stress binges that bring me to maintenance. I feel like such a fool. I truly do. The people who know about my ED donāt care because I havenāt noticeably lost in months. An ex friend of mine who I told in a fit of rage knows my secret, and she surely mocks me for being fat still. Thereās no doubt weāll run into each other and sheāll judge me, thinking that I lied and made everything up or exaggerated. Sheās heavily implied that sheās restricting now on social media, and the one thing that I had to make myself feel better about how everything ended was that I could lose weight, and she couldnāt. Itās sick, but it made up for all of her abusive behaviors in my mind. Now, sheāll lose and Iāll just get fatter, yet sicker.
I know that at least going on holiday next week to the beach will make me feel so bad about myself that Iāll purge everything that I eat, and starve all day. Hereās to fasting more, binging less, sleeping the right amount, working out even when only getting 2 hours of sleep, and always being at a deficit *no matter the occasion*.
So cheers! Letās clink our diet cokes to a toast for wallowing in depression and self loathing until weāre all out ideal body weights
[Help] filling portable snacks
/u/lawsoflife [5'5'' | CW: 175 GW: 110 | -35 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 21:39:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97f2u9/filling_portable_snacks/
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I have sorority rush in the next few weeks and Iām going to be outside in the heat a lot and walking around so I have to eat, but I donāt want to eat what they give us (chips, sandwiches, cookies). I wonāt be able to put my stuff in a fridge. what are your favorite low cal snacks/portable prepackaged meals for days like these?? ideally would like to stay around ~500-600 for the day. and do you think people will notice if I donāt eat the provided lunch??
[Other] Just took 5 Walmart $0.88 Dulcolax...RIP my asshole...
/u/0kcalHaldol
Created: Tue Aug 14 21:39:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97f2u4/just_took_5_walmart_088_dulcolaxrip_my_asshole/
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Been a while since I purged and I need to get my ass in gear to lose this weight...
Anyother laxxers start tonight?
[Rant/Rave] Unstable body image
/u/n34543 [5'5 | CW: 127 | 21.1 | GW: 117 ]
Created: Tue Aug 14 21:37:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97f2d4/unstable_body_image/
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Last week I weighed 125 and I felt so light, fit, and beautiful. Then I got some awful anxiety and binged foe 4 days. I weighed 130 yesterday and 132 today. 7 lbs in a week?? Now I feel like a worthless fat slob. All in a few days. I hate being so unstable I just want stability. And I'm not allowed to work out because I almost passed out a few days ago. Not sure why because I had binged that day so it wasn't from restriction.
[Rant/Rave] coping w feeling fat/ugly during recovery
/u/ohboy19
Created: Tue Aug 14 21:33:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97f1am/coping_w_feeling_fatugly_during_recovery/
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(long time lurker on a throw away account) i'm officially in recovery and committed to it. for a long time, i didn't want to recover, just wanted to want to recover, and couldn't imagine living a fulfilling life without binging and purging. now that i've made progress in slowing behaviors and have stopped weighing myself and all that good stuff, i have probably gained like 5 lbs but am still at a bmi between 19 and 20. i look skinny fat i guess, and store a lot of weight on my stomach rather than arms/legs/etc.
anyways!!! i *know*, logically, that i'm not fat. as much as my ed brain tries to convince me that i'm normal weight obese, i eat healthy and exercise regularly and know that physically i am fine. but, alas, i am not skinny. i definitely look chubby in a bathing suit, and certainly feel fat and gross most of the time. not only do i not like the way i look, but am convinced that other people just Don't Find Me Attractive (as well as hating me 4 my personality, but that's a different discussion) and it just sucks big time. i know logically that i'm not fat and ugly, but at the same time do i? it's like my brains running on two logic systems and when they contradict i just feel even worse. because no matter how much i know i'm not that fat and not that ugly, and no matter how much i know and believe that there are more important things than how attractive i am, i don't feel that way. and it feels like a huge fucking deal that i'm fat and ugly and therefore no one will ever like me, and i know my drive to want to be attractive is just a subconscious plea for emotional intimacy, but anyways it all sucks big time. and i can't b/p to cope w bad feelings or try to loose weight to pretend that that's a solution. i'm just complaining here, i guess, but if any one has any tips for not feeling as fat or as ugly, i would love to hear them.
tldr: i know i'm not fat and ugly but feel constantly fat and ugly and the difference between knowing and feeling just makes everything worse, i don't know what to do other than suffer
[Help] Any other gay/bi girls with EDs here?
/u/supersecretedaccount
Created: Tue Aug 14 21:32:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97f16g/any_other_gaybi_girls_with_eds_here/
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This is something thatās been on my mind for a long time, I apologize if this isnāt the right place to post it. Iām bisexual and have always been comfortable in my sexuality, until I developed an ED. Now itās like my attraction to women gets āswitched offā because the feelings of attraction are so mixed up with jealousy and dysmorphia-induced self hatred. When I see pretty girls I canāt tell if what I feel for them is jealousy or attraction. Itās too painful for me to try to tease these feelings apart so I tend to just avoid pretty girls as much as possible. My attraction to men isnāt nearly as complicated, because I never feel like Iām competing with them. Men are just āeasierā than women, so I tend to only dwell on men now, even though I felt that my attraction between men and women was a lot more even when I was a teenager.
As a result of all of this Iām seriously doubting my sexuality, way more than I ever did even before I came out. Iām starting to wonder if Iām just straight and have been lying to myself all this time. All this is just to ask: are there any other gay ladies with EDs that have experienced similar? How do you cope with it?
Eating 500 calories and feel guilty
/u/narkreturn
Created: Tue Aug 14 21:30:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97f0lc/eating_500_calories_and_feel_guilty/
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I donāt understand why I feel so guilty that Iām going to eat just under 500 calories for the day. My brain just assumes Iām gonna not lose any weight and just get fat :/ ugh and the food Iām having has good macros! Yet I feel guilty and think I should not eat part of my planned dinner. Like half of me wants to eat the 108 calorie soup tonight but the other half is like nope thatās 100 too many calories šŖ
[Goal] Finally hit my goal weight!!
/u/WantsToPetAllTheDogs
Created: Tue Aug 14 21:22:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97eyts/finally_hit_my_goal_weight/
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Finally hit my goal weight of 100lbs (100.6lbs, technically, but my god I will take it) after years of trying. Lost ~20lbs since starting law school, since it feels like the calories I choose to consume are the only thing I actually have control over. This community makes me feel like Iām not alone, and for that I thank yāall. Now, to avoid snacking (and eating my weight in sushi) in celebration / figure out how to better focus while working and have more energy while still losing!
[Discussion] Just drank a bunch of saltwater to throw up
/u/tarynughhh
Created: Tue Aug 14 21:02:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97eu8f/just_drank_a_bunch_of_saltwater_to_throw_up/
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iām struggling with not eating for days then binging and wanting to purge but i CANT idk why so i drank a bunch of warm saltwater cause i read that will make u throw up but it isnāt working and i just feel gross idk what to do
Does anyone else feel bad for buying clothes?
/u/smallbrainedgoat
Created: Tue Aug 14 20:51:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97erf4/does_anyone_else_feel_bad_for_buying_clothes/
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I keep buying clothes when I promise myself I wouldn't until I got down to a certain weight.
I feel so bad for doing it, I don't know why I buy clothes or why I feel bad.
It's just useless tbh
[Other] Ninas look in Black Swan
/u/MyBunnyisMean
Created: Tue Aug 14 20:49:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97eqw6/ninas_look_in_black_swan/
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Anyone else likes the look of Nina in Black Swan? Iāve always been so captivated by her overall appearance. That includes the way she dresses, puts her hair up, how slim she is and carries herself. I think itās cute.
Since weāre on this topic, do you have a movie character look you admire or something similar?.
[Discussion] Weight Tracking App
/u/fortunate-foolx [f/5'1/cw:whale/gw:dead]
Created: Tue Aug 14 20:46:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97eqbi/weight_tracking_app/
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i was wondering if there is an app on ios that allows you to set a goal weight and other various goals, while setting rewards for each milestone// giving you motivation. just a weight tracker, i already have a calorie tracker that i love, which has a weight tracker in it but i am searching for something g more specific.
[Discussion] Started crying when listening to Hunger by florence + the machine
/u/lxelan4862 [ā½5'3 | CW 106-108| BMI ? | GW recovery | Femaleā½]
Created: Tue Aug 14 20:37:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97eo4h/started_crying_when_listening_to_hunger_by/
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I don't typically pay attention to song lyrics when listening to music, but the song hit so close to home...
"At 17 I started to starve myself, I thought that love was a kind of emptiness"... anyone else?
[Help] Any apps similar to carrot but available for android?
/u/eighttorches [5'2 | 15 from goal | F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 19:43:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ea8h/any_apps_similar_to_carrot_but_available_for/
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[Tip] Tips for weigh-ins?
/u/crystalchina
Created: Tue Aug 14 19:11:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97e1tp/tips_for_weighins/
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I get weighed on a regular basis by my psychiatrist because when I started working with this provider, I was deep in my eating disorder and in and out of treatment. I was doing well in recovery for almost 2 years, and then I unintentionally, slowly, began to lose weight...so slowly that I didn't even notice until other people started to notice. And now that I'm 15 pounds lighter than I was when I was actively in recovery, it's become more intentional, and I am slipping farther back every week. I'm terrified of going back to treatment, so the next time I get weighed in a week I want it to look like I've gained at least a couple pounds back. Any tips? Obviously I know about water loading, but that honestly hasn't been that effective in the past. Oh and i get weighed in street clothes (not a gown). Thanks in advance :)
[Rant/Rave] Need to share!! Success
/u/Sockapoodledoo [5'4 | CW: 125 | GW: 115 | 25F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 19:10:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97e1ov/need_to_share_success/
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So Iāve made a couple comments before describing my anxiety for my upcoming wedding in November. A couple months ago I had a bulimia relapse and Iāve been fasting/restricting/binging/purging/etc cycle ever since. I *need* to be skinnier for my wedding. Iāve been trying to look a certain way for over a decade and if I donāt look how I want to for my wedding, Iāll never forgive myself. Iām stressing because I know I wonāt even be able to enjoy my wedding day if Iām worrying about my weight he whole time. And yāall, my dress is not forgiving.
Itās been weighing on my mind 24/7. Thoughts of food and needing to lose weight consume me. Last week, I just felt so empty. Not even stressed or hungryājust tired and empty. It was that state of depression where you donāt even feel anything anymore.
Iām 10lbs down from where I was a couple months ago, and my dress came in and I went to try it on for the first time today. Yāall. I put it on, and *I liked how it looked.* I took a bunch of photos to send to my friend, and one of them said, āyou look *so happy.*ā Last week I didnāt even know what happy was. I actually thought to myself, āI could get married the way I look right now and I wouldnāt hate myself.ā
On the way home, I was blasting some music and singing and dancing along in the car and the thought hit me that I *was* happy in that moment, that I was enjoying life and actually feeling real emotions. I legit almost stared crying.
I went home and celebrated by running off 500 calories on the treadmill. Today is a win. Guys, today is a good day.
[Help] What is that app that tells you if you had a good bad/day of calories by saying good/bad job?
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Tue Aug 14 19:09:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97e1gd/what_is_that_app_that_tells_you_if_you_had_a_good/
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I've seen it on here and idk if I'm describing it right... but basically I think if you go over a certain amount of calories it turns red or something and is kinda disappointed in you or something. I know that sounds like a bad explanation but if any of you know then please help a girl out here!
[Other] āYou look like youāve lost weight.ā
/u/clemintide
Created: Tue Aug 14 19:05:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97e0du/you_look_like_youve_lost_weight/
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And so it begins... people commenting on my weight loss is what fueled my disorder and made it so addictive. For a few weeks now, Iāve been eating untracked but all of my foods have been low calorie, that I wouldnāt be surprised if Iām not eating to maintenance. Eating disorders are so fucking hard to get out of your head. I thought I could work to overcome this, but I feel like I will forever chained to it. Like thereās just no going back to normalcy. I always find my way back to this sickness.
[Rant/Rave] Bought new food and I'm totally freaking out
/u/Cactuseye [5'2| CW 155 | SW 162 | GW1 136, gw2 125 | 20f]
Created: Tue Aug 14 18:56:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97dy1v/bought_new_food_and_im_totally_freaking_out/
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This is stupid but I think you guys can relate. Today I had a moment and bought some energy bars and package oatmeal. The oatmeal is 140 and the bars are 210 so..seriously not the end of the world I know. But I'm really worried about it because I'm barely eating the food I already have and it...NEW i barely ever eat packaged food to begin with. It's so illogical, I don't know why they're bothering me so much but yeah hete I am having a panic over some oatmeal
[Rant/Rave] I FIT INTO SIZE 1 SKINNY JEANS!!
/u/lyhndzie [5'5"|HW: 170|CW: eww|UGW: 98| F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 18:49:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97dw7c/i_fit_into_size_1_skinny_jeans/
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They are super tight and I canāt really breathe that well in them, but I GOT THEM ON AND BUTTONED/ZIPPED!! A year and a half ago, I wore a size 10, and even then, I was muffin-topping. I canāt believe how far Iāve come! Even if I canāt see a change in the mirror, at least I know progress is happening!!!
what are some low calorie stuff I can pack for a school lunch
/u/patriotsfan4life [5'2 | fluctuates daily | 19? | F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 18:34:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97dsfd/what_are_some_low_calorie_stuff_i_can_pack_for_a/
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something quick easy and compact that doesn't require utensils. also something that won't make friends suspicious.
The Struggle Is Real
/u/TheGlitterMahdi [5'4" | 190lbs | 33.25 | -100lbs | Dude]
Created: Tue Aug 14 18:27:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97dqmd/the_struggle_is_real/
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Hit a new low yesterday.
Just ate a jar of peanut butter and a gallon of ice cream. Can't decide whether I feel worse physically or emotionally.
So frustrated with this constant betrayal of mind/body. All I want to do is throw up.
Sorry for whining. Just feeling so ashamed right now.
(On mobile and IDK how to flair but I'm just ranting.)
How much do you lose on average when low restricting?
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Tue Aug 14 18:20:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97dowo/how_much_do_you_lose_on_average_when_low/
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I've been low restricting for about a month now. At the beginning the weight loss was insane (I started at the high end of my healthy range and have lost about 20lbs since that time) most of the weight came off in the first 2 weeks, it then plateaued which I figured was because of my pms. Now that my period has passed the weight is still hovering at about the same place. I literally have not eaten more than 300 calories a day in that time frame. How do I restart weight loss? Why am I not losing weight anymore? How much do you lose when you're severely restricting?? Please provide me some feedback here I'm kind of freaking out.
[Rant/Rave] I felt stuck until I found body checks from myself a year ago! [rave]
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:113 |GW:100 | 21F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 18:11:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97dmcy/i_felt_stuck_until_i_found_body_checks_from/
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[What a difference a year makes!](https://imgur.com/a/HhjZt7L)
Lately Iāve been plateauing pretty hard and I was starting to feel defeated until I saw pictures of myself from this exact time last year. I remember I had been developing disordered behaviors toward food without realizing it, but in August 2017 I really realized that I was developing an eating disorder. I had been taking body check pictures since July of 2017. In the before picture, I was stuck at 131.
Now, a year later, I fluctuate between 115-120 depending on water weight and stuff.
Itās a little scary to see what Iāve done to myself, but Iām also proud. A year ago I never thought I would get to this point. My original goal weight was literally 125. Now Iām way past that. I remember having awful times and thinking āoh no Iām in too deepā, but that was nothing compared to my frame of mind now.
This is a pretty bittersweet thing, honestly. Either way, Iām proud, but not completely happy with my body yet.
[Help] Buying a scale
/u/Sergosass
Created: Tue Aug 14 17:47:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97dfxc/buying_a_scale/
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There is a scale in my house, but to weigh myself naked I would have to take it to the bathroom, which is easy during the school year, but definitely not now as my mother wakes up earlier than me on holidays. I am supposed to be recovering. I donāt want to raise suspicion
The thing is, I could buy my own and hide it in my room (like I do with cigs, vape, PB2 and zero calorie sweeteners lol). The currency here is different, so letās say it costs 4 days worth of the money I am getting
Mother could theoretically find it, but itās up to me where I sneak it and I have a lot of places to do so. If I use two scales I could get the weight more objectively, because I would compare them
Is it worth buying?
feeling bad for eating
/u/eva1588
Created: Tue Aug 14 17:39:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ddw8/feeling_bad_for_eating/
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I'm feeling really bad for eating. I had some raw veggies with dressing a a few bits of chicken mushrooms and broccoli. I dont feel full and I dont feel hungry now. I did it so I wouldnt be crashing hard later. But I feel really uncomfortable about it. I eat 4 times a day, but very small. I feel like lately tho I am not restricting enough. It makes me want to exercise a lot, which I have done in the past. I find that if the calorie deficit is big and the exercise is a lot then the weight loss seems to slow down. Has anyone else experienced this? What is the fastest and easiest way you have lost weight?
[Help] Shaky from eating?
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 14 17:11:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97d67z/shaky_from_eating/
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So Iāve been real bloated recently (not able to poop, etc) and Iāve been literally trying everything to try to get rid of what I Know is water weight (ahhhh but what if it isnāt????), purging a lot and stuff. Finally I decided to try to fast for an entire day and hope that would flush it out.
Tbh Iāve never fasted before, the most Iāve done is low restrict. So Everything was fine until the evening, I was actually feeling really like hyper almost, and energetic. But then I was in the car and I started to feel really nauseous. I thought maybe I need to eat something and ate half of like a little Debbieās zebra cake (super sugary and not worth it). But now I feel really shaky and stuff and hypersensitive. Whatās going on guys? Help please?
[Rant/Rave] I understand people think they're being helpful but now I'm just stressed I upset someone
/u/ForgottenLoginAgain
Created: Tue Aug 14 16:36:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97cx1g/i_understand_people_think_theyre_being_helpful/
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https://i.redd.it/yq0iq3r4z4g11.jpg
[Discussion] In the hospital today for an overnight stay and I avoided breakfast, lunch, and dinner bc I donāt know the calorie info
/u/praduh [š„ š° * 16.6, 5'5"]
Created: Tue Aug 14 16:34:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97cwai/in_the_hospital_today_for_an_overnight_stay_and_i/
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wow EDs are so fun!!!! truly!!! love having to starve myself in a hospital where Iām already under observation because I canāt bare not knowing whatās in what Iām eating. yikes. also I registered as vegetarian and the dinner is salmon.... yea no lol
myfitnesspal friends?
/u/toroidalConfection
Created: Tue Aug 14 16:28:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97cute/myfitnesspal_friends/
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my friend list on mfp is currently empty right now since i made a new one like a week ago so my username is @pollydontwantcrackerss if anyone wants to friend me ig
[Rant/Rave] I feel like what I go through is invalid
/u/JaninesEye
Created: Tue Aug 14 16:23:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ct6k/i_feel_like_what_i_go_through_is_invalid/
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This is more of a before-going-to-sleep rant because I feel exhausted and tired from myself. I honestly have no idea where am I heading with this. Initially, I was going to post this on r/OffMyChest but figured here would be a better place, forgive me if I was wrong. I also realized that this will be long and that I gave way too much backstory, so Iām sorry for that too.
I can trace back to when my struggles with bulimia started to March of last year, nothing later than that. I was really disgusted in myself and never felt this immense feeling of guilt, low self-esteem and self-hatred in my life. Yes sure, I would eat a lot, but it never reached this stage.
One day, I recall just wanting to vomit all of it. I donāt know why I wanted to but I just did, although I didnāt know how. I tried my fingers, toothbrush even a hollow tube that was used to find papers together. A pencil eventually worked.
Youāre probably wondering why I mentioned all this and didnāt get straight to the point. You see, this continued on an on-and-off pattern till early August of last year (so roughly 5 months). I no longer felt the same amount of guilt over my body. After that I began questioning whether I actually had an eating disorder. Whether what I went through was valid. Whether I forced bulimia and my breakdowns on myself. Up until then I was basically addicted to pro-ED sites. I read about peopleās stories and frequently contributed to an ED group on Whisper.
I started to compare what these people went through and then what was going on with me. These people usually had traumatizing events and other than the usual taunts I seemed alright. The stories I read pretty much showed that people had continuous B/P every day. I never had that, and I would usually need to āsnapā if I were to B/P; it wasnāt a daily thing.
What these people went though seemed real to me and what I was going through seemed to be a lie. The only thing āclose to an eating disorderā that I had was my absolute addiction to (herbal) laxative pills, which were very abundant in my house. I would ingest 3-4 pills a night, and eventually this reached to 7-8, and would wake up to a journey in the bathroom. Yes, it hurt a lot, but then I remember that is all for me to look perfect.
I pretty much forgot about all of this till this summer vacation, so roughly a year later. I said āf uā to my body and really just wanted to lose weight and see myself as āperfectā.
My mom proposed the idea of going to a doctor (my aunt recommended) who pretty much gave us weight loss shots that diabetic people took, but they were appetite-suppressants. They were a course of 5 weeks and for each one weād increase the dosage. This seemed to work for me, because I lost 13 pounds. He, my mom, and even his assistant seemed happy but I wasnāt. He gave me another appointment after 2 months (this talk was on late July 2018). Thatās where I somewhat relapsed.
Early August (4 to be exact) I weighted and saw that I was on 99KG. This was the first time I saw the below 100 mark (which was a thing for almost 1.5 years now). Too bad I was happy, because the number, instead of decreasing, stayed the same and increased by little decimals as the days passed.
At this point I was so done with myself. I actually felt stupid that I thought I would look perfect someday. I really began to question what was wrong with me. I would put a very, very small portion of food yet my weight loss didnāt seem to work. I actually only ate lunch and recently started doing exercise (although my leg hasnāt properly healed after an incident I had at school).
For some reason, I went to the bathroom and purged. In a flash I recalled everything I felt a year ago: the guilt, the self-loathing. I knew I deserved it. It made me feel so much better, yet ugly at the same time.
Still though, I felt (and somewhat still do) like I forced eating disorders on myself in the first place. I donāt know how, especially since I didnāt know what eating disorders were a year ago (they arenāt that much concerning in my country as per my knowledge).
I constantly compare my stories with others. People have had eating disorders for years, they B/P or restrict for days and they have āthe lookā. I donāt have any of that. Itās more of a switch for me and I donāt look ultra skinny or have damaged teeth.
It also doesnāt help that all ED stories that I stumbled across seem the same except mine.
I donāt know how to feel right now, but what I know is that typing this made me a feel a little bit better.
Not sure how to feel
/u/kahmanee
Created: Tue Aug 14 15:55:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97cl8k/not_sure_how_to_feel/
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Hi guys I guess Iām just writing this for myself as an outlet, but if you have any feedback/support to give, that would greatly be appreciated.
I ate 1,500 worth of calories today and I canāt help but feel bad about myself. For reference, Iām a 6ā2 male who weighs 182 pounds so 1,500 is a pretty good number for me but yet I feel disgusted and awful with myself.
I struggle with eating over 1,000 calories daily because I feel like thatās too much and Iāll automatically put on weight. Iāve been struggling with my relationship with food since I was 12. Iām going to be 21 in 2 days.
I donāt want to keep viewing food as a negative factor when I know itās important. I know I need to teach my brain that eating over 1,000 calories isnāt a bad thing for someone my height and weight. I just donāt know how.
Thank you so much if youāve read this. It means a lot.
[Other] Someone punch me. I binged on an entire container of ice cream and then some soup.
/u/ohdarlingyourefucked
Created: Tue Aug 14 15:50:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97cjux/someone_punch_me_i_binged_on_an_entire_container/
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I wanted all the comfort foods because Iām so sick and my throat is sore. It was a 1,500 cal binge which isnāt terrible because thatās all Iāve eaten today but still. I feel like such a failure. Staying in bed for rest of the day being sad and sick. š
[Goal] Went back to school shopping today. This is me in size 4 pants.
/u/LumosErin [5'5.5" | 131-132 | 21.5-21.6 | GW: 115-120 | 20F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 15:49:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97cjl6/went_back_to_school_shopping_today_this_is_me_in/
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https://i.redd.it/9v7ey49qq4g11.jpg
Alright, how many episodes before the Insatiable chick returns to her fat habits, melts down when she gains weight, then spends the whole episode restricting and binge eating?
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Tue Aug 14 15:46:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97cij1/alright_how_many_episodes_before_the_insatiable/
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Maybe we could pitch this as a season 2 storyline?
[Discussion] Stuck in an awful b/p cycle
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Tue Aug 14 15:42:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97chfq/stuck_in_an_awful_bp_cycle/
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I'm so depressed
I'm sure I'm gaining
Not working out
Not taking care of myself
I feel like I dont deserve anything and it's fucking dumb
I miss restricting soooo much but im so addicted to food omg what am I gonna doooooooo :"(
Headaches all the time??
/u/throwaway86_443
Created: Tue Aug 14 15:26:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ccvk/headaches_all_the_time/
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Since I started restricting again, Iāve been getting headaches all.the.time.
Does this happen to anyone else? How do you make them go away :(
[Rant/Rave] Fainted and bf didnāt seem to care?
/u/sayyourprayersbitch [5'5 | CW 108 | 17.9 | F ]
Created: Tue Aug 14 15:16:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ca0y/fainted_and_bf_didnt_seem_to_care/
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Hi friends. I tried to get into the whole recovery thing as I was having bad physical and emotional side effects of my ED but we all know how hard that is. Basically it was a binge for about 5 days and then I realized that if this was recovery then I would be eating healthier or something but Iām sure thatās just some dumb excuse my ED made up.
ANYWAY.. yesterday I got back on the restriction train and was doing really well until about 3pm. I went for a 2.5 mile run in the morning and didnāt eat at all. Then while I was just hanging out, my boyfriend picked me up and all of the sudden I couldnāt see at all and I felt tingly and the next thing I remember is laying on the floor and thinking my arms felt weird. Where was my boyfriend? Thatās right, in the kitchen acting like nothing happen and that fainting is super casual and no big deal.
He literally shrugged it off and was like āoh, thatās never happened before? Bet it felt weirdā
So not sure how to feel about that but wanted to share.
i can't keep doing this
/u/damnitjanet6 [5"5'| hellbeast | BMI 26.4 | -35lbs| GW:105 | 20F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 15:13:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97c931/i_cant_keep_doing_this/
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binged 2500 calories today while walking home from work, even though i meant it to be a fast day. spent like half an hour trying to purge in the middle of the woods hiding behind some bushes so that people walking their dogs around me didn't see. threw up on my work shoes lol. came home and took a package of laxes. now i'm lying in bed cramping, wanting to die.
i think maybe i might want to see if i can get help. i don't even know. i feel like i can't get help because i need to be a much lower weight before i try to get help, because no one is going to take me seriously when i'm this freaking fat.
but i don't know, i can't keep doing this. something's got to give.
[Discussion] Anyone take Wellbutrin if so what was your weight like
/u/gothicapples
Created: Tue Aug 14 14:55:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97c3hc/anyone_take_wellbutrin_if_so_what_was_your_weight/
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My doctor is starting me on this drug
I have currently been in treatment at a psychiatric hospital for about a month
If anyone has take Wellbutrin what do you think of it
[Other] Kicked meds?
/u/shootingstar2 [5' 4.5"| 142 | 24.48 | ? | F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 14:50:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97c1xk/kicked_meds/
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Did anyone else find that kicking their med regimen helped them lose weight? I was reading about some who found they quit their antidepressants because they had gained weight on them.
/proED LINE group: please add me to LINE and lets make a group where we can chat! It has TONS of cute stickers and it is very cute overall. This is my QR code. Also my id is: franciskiwi
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Tue Aug 14 14:47:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97c11a/proed_line_group_please_add_me_to_line_and_lets/
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https://i.redd.it/uzol9bakf4g11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I want to get better so badly but I just can't stop
/u/churromatsuisbae
Created: Tue Aug 14 14:37:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97by1j/i_want_to_get_better_so_badly_but_i_just_cant_stop/
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I hate this. I want to recover so badly but I can't stop the binge/purge cycle. I tried following a healthy diet for one week; ended up binging on the second day and was already purging my guts out by the third. I feel worthless. Defeated. Why can't I stop? When did this hell start? I'm so, so tired right now. I don't know what to do anymore, other than keep hoping that someday I will stop b/ping.
Need some motivation, slipping back in old habits
/u/DexterIbarbo
Created: Tue Aug 14 14:23:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97btwk/need_some_motivation_slipping_back_in_old_habits/
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For those of you who have been in recovery or maybe even have recoverd completly,could you share some of the positive effects recovery had on your life?
I have been doing pretty well. Moved in with my sister, let go over my eating and such. But I recently moved back to living alone, and I feel myself falling back in to old habits. Downloading MFP, tracking calories, obsessing about food etc. I feel so bad, because I know that the lies I'm telling myself (just loose a few pounds and you will be happy) are just that, lies. I don't restrict myself to a insanely low amounts of calories or such, actually try to eat at maintence so I can recompostion my body a bit, but just logging my food brings back these really bad memories of the time where my whole life revolved around food, calories and being skinny. I see a psychatrist who specializes in EDs but it doesn't really seem to help. Im on a anti depressant, but decreasing the dosage. I don't know, I just feel so alone in this. I don't even look like I have an eating disorder as well. That's one of the things that annoys me. I look like a guy who doesn't even give a crap about what he eats or fitness in general, but im actually completly obsessed with it to the point that it's the only thing I really care about. Sometimes I just feel like a "fat anorexic". Idk, just needed to get this off my chest. I admire you all, I truly tho. I have gone trough a whole bunch of messed up stuff in my life, but nothing compares to the hell of an eating disorder. Thanks for reading, love you all
[Discussion] A bittersweet day
/u/CharlieJScarper [5'0.5" | 91.9lbs | 17.6 | FTM:cat_blep:]
Created: Tue Aug 14 14:18:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97bs91/a_bittersweet_day/
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So....today, I hit a new goal weight. It's also my lowest weight ever, taking me down to a 17.6 BMI. I was so elated, just ridiculously excited until I heard my grandma and auntie talking about me. About how I've obviously cut too much out of my diet and I'm looking like a twig these days.
I thought I would be on cloud nine to hear that someone had noticed, but I'm just terrified that they'll actually make me stop now! It's also hard because I genuinely have been told by my doctor to avoid too much sugar and fatty foods due to some recent health issues. I just don't know what to do now. I'm desperate to be down another couple of pounds by the time I go back to uni and I don't want anything to get in the way of that, I don't want them to worry about me when I'm gone.
I'm scared. I know I need to eat a little more to slow my weight loss and ease their suspicions but I obviously feel like I can't do that now...
[Discussion] Fitbit Charge 2
/u/stickbug77 [5'2 | CW 131 | GW 110 | LW 112 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 14:09:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97bpcm/fitbit_charge_2/
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Who loves it and who hates it??
Thinking about picking one up. I used to have a tracker by Jawbone but it broke every 3-6 months š
so apperantly i cant have more than one day worth of safe food at home .-.
/u/-sadgarden [1,82cm | M]
Created: Tue Aug 14 14:05:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97bo53/so_apperantly_i_cant_have_more_than_one_day_worth/
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grocery shopping is always a stressful expirience for me so i thought hey let just buy safe low cal food every few days. VERY basic stuff like rice cakes, fruit, low fat yogurt etc.
and i STILL manage to binge/stress eat everything and go over my tdee -.-
i have no problem not buying or not eating anything unsafe since i know i will 100% have a mental breakdown after that. which i ofc dont want.
but i dont feel guilty about stuffing whole packets of rice cakes with stevia into my mouth at 11pm?????
i feel like i dont have any willpower at all. it could also be because ive been working on my selfhate which i often used as a substitute for willpower. and without it i literally cant convince myself to not eat everything.
i need to somehow get my overeating under control again. ive done more than enough damage to my weight already.
i feel so weak and helpless :(
I have a really dumb question
/u/squamouspuppies [5'9" | M]
Created: Tue Aug 14 14:01:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97bmzt/i_have_a_really_dumb_question/
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Okay, I don't know shit about math and my google-fu is failing me so. I have this can of Progresso that is 524g total, but one serving is 238g for 70 calories and the servings per container is "about 2." What I want to do is calculate how many calories the can is total, but I don't know how to figure out how many calories are in the remaining 48g. Can anyone help? Please don't make fun of me lol.
āWow you always eat so healthy.ā
/u/skinnylilalien
Created: Tue Aug 14 13:48:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97biyq/wow_you_always_eat_so_healthy/
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This is said to me almost every shift I work. Why? Because I get an oatmeal without brown sugar & apples. While everyone else gets their bigmacs & fries for their free meal.
Itās almost like a slap in the face because they donāt know anything. SoOOooOoo healthy, yeah yeah.
[Rant/Rave] Why is safe food so.damn.expensive?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine
Created: Tue Aug 14 13:43:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97bhdx/why_is_safe_food_sodamnexpensive/
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My dudes.
Itās unbelievable how expensive my safe food is. The other day I picked up some food that my boyfriend wanted while he was at work. So before my shift, I got to the grocery store and pick up some. Ya know. Standard food and the likes (cereal, granola bars, etc).
Later that evening after work, I realized I was almost out of my food, so I went to the same grocery store the next morning, got my safe foods (low fat whipped cream, Walden farm sauce, frozen fruit/veggies, egg whites, coffee).
I go to check out with literally half the items I bought yesterday and itās nearly double the price. WHY.
Why does this have to be such an expensive dieseaseĀæ
On the flip side, Iām a cheap date at restaurants cuz all I get is salad lol
I'm never buying wawa again.
/u/vydka
Created: Tue Aug 14 13:30:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97bdev/im_never_buying_wawa_again/
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So today I ordered literally the most unhealthy sandwich I can imagine. Extra cheese and everything. I managed to fast all day yesterday so I ordered this monster knowing full well that it was just going to be purged as soon as I finished it, but I wanted to savor the brief moment where I could pretend I was a normal person enjoying something.
Until the fucking guy at wawa ruined it. Normally they just call your number and you can go up and grab it. But noooo, this asshole had to start READING OFF EVERY SINGLE INGREDIENT in front of 20 other people waiting.
I was mortified. I almost just ran out of the door but I was frozen a second too long and the guy standing next to me pointed at my slip and was like "oh they just called your number."
Oh yeah haha silly me I didn't hear.
I wanted to die of shame.
I still disgustingly scarfed it down in record time hiding in my car just so I could purge it to erase all evidence that this damn thing ever existed.
But now I'm just an anxious mess and regret my entire day whyyyy didn't I just continue my fast until tonight like I originally planned?!? Ugh
[Rant/Rave] I love Halloween and I love costumes but I know the whole costume finding process is going to drive me nuts/going to make me slide back on a lot of my recovery progress
/u/sunnshine67
Created: Tue Aug 14 13:24:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97bbuy/i_love_halloween_and_i_love_costumes_but_i_know/
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Picking a costume is already hard enough because i want to be all the things but then I always think like āoh well I donāt want to wear anything sleeveless because my arms are gross, and I cant wear anything tight because my body is awful, etc etcā then thereās the whole candy thing which makes me want to binge the entire month of October. Iām already planning on severely restricting these next two months starting next week when i go back to college before making my costume, and I just want to look really cute and not be self conscious at parties and not hate every photo Iām in but thatās never going to happen. I just want to be able to enjoy my favorite holiday like a normal person! Anyone else feel this way?
chewing and spitting
/u/gkelleyr
Created: Tue Aug 14 13:15:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97b8yw/chewing_and_spitting/
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there hasn't been a recent thread on this and it's a conversation I really want to have so i thought i would post here. after looking at all the reddit posts i could find (google honestly was so useless) it seems like it may momentarily spike blood sugar but not when checking an hour later. i quit coffee a month agobecause it spiked insulin so that's definitely something i care about because i looooved coffee.
but overall, i dont see the downsides. a lot of people find it wasteful, but personally i work in an office where theres a ton of free food that otherwise gets thrown away (especially the type i chew and spit like sweets or cheap carbs) so waste/money is not really a concern. every post has someone saying "i do it but i find it disgusting" and i honestly don't find it gross. and honestly if it weren't for every single google and responses outside this subreddit responding with "oh that's disordered eating" i wouldn't have a voice in my head saying that either. i literally just want to have my cake, eat it too, and then not have the damn calories.
it is frustrating that there's not a consensus on how many calories are consumed, cause what a girl really wants to do is not input anything. A lot of people do it to avoid binging so they'll say "well its def less than binging" but i dont really binge so that's not my comparison. it's just like usually i would see chococolate cookies, want 2, and be sad about not having it or eat it and be looking at myfitnesspal sad later - and now I get neither.
curious others experiences.
[Discussion] Basil, salt and hot sauce sandwich
/u/fodgingui
Created: Tue Aug 14 13:07:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97b6j8/basil_salt_and_hot_sauce_sandwich/
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Today I restricted all day and ate a very low calorie dinner and then I was still hungry so for some reason I ate a basil, salt and hot sauce sandwich??? It tasted so bizarre but I ate it all anyway and then it led to me eating just half a bottle of straight up hot sauce.
Does anyone else find themselves eating weird shit and even when eating them being like "why???"
[Rant/Rave] going out with friends
/u/orkestrels
Created: Tue Aug 14 12:54:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97b2as/going_out_with_friends/
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i woke up late and i had fallen asleep on the floor and woke up to my bf moving me kind of roughly out of the way with his foot which is minor but because i have an Eating Disorder all I can think of is when he said he could never treat this one girl he knew who was 80 lbs roughly like he treats me lol
here are the pros of still trying to go out with my friends
> i walk and get my steps in
here are the cons
> i will want to eat
> i might forget how ugly i am and eat
so the best option is to stay home and do nothing so i can stay on track, right? nobody even cares what i do. if i weighed less, people would be nicer, wouldnāt they? or at least more gentle.. my feelings would mean something for once
Males of r/proed...
/u/ital21978566556432f
Created: Tue Aug 14 12:53:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97b23h/males_of_rproed/
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What's your goal body type (Slim, skinny, toned, muscular) or BMI? My goal is less than 17.5.
[Help] Confused about Fitbit calories??
/u/fweakybby [5ā5ā | 132| 22.0 | 68lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 12:49:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97b0sb/confused_about_fitbit_calories/
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I just got a Fitbit flex. Todayās my first day using it and Iām super confused how Iāve burned 1,029 calories...I did 20 min yoga (90 cal) & 20 minutes on the treadmill (150 cal). Wtf am I using this damn thing wrong?? :(
I'm on a family roadtrip and it is hell and I could use some reassurance
/u/bhbubeepy
Created: Tue Aug 14 12:42:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ayr7/im_on_a_family_roadtrip_and_it_is_hell_and_i/
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Since saturday I've been on vacation with my family, and it's ending on the upcoming saturday. Usually I'm able to eat under 1200 calories per day but god I doubt there's been a day under my tdee so far. I finally got to 125, a new lw, and I know I'm going to gain weight. I've been eating 3 meals per day and all of it is restaurant food or fast food and I'm not emotionally strong enough to try and restrict right now lmao. I know that realistically I won't gain more than 2 or maybe 3 pounds of fat, but I still feel like shit and like all my progress will be lost. Idk it's kind of dumb but can someone just tell me that I'll live through this or something and that a week of bad eating won't be as horrible as I feel? Hopefully when I get home I'll be able to fast or do some bullshit cleanse to try and lose at least water weight.
[Help] My scale is out of whack
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Tue Aug 14 12:39:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97axtv/my_scale_is_out_of_whack/
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I was 116 then over four day on vacation it shot yo to 122/120 even though we walked a ton. Today I change the battery and it says 125. I donāt know what to do. It stressing me out. Mostly likely I didnāt gain all that weight but it wonāt go away.
I want to go home
/u/Lucifers_Girlfriend
Created: Tue Aug 14 12:21:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97as8h/i_want_to_go_home/
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Currently on vacation, it should be a lovely two weeks however, food and I canāt purge. So I only binge.
I just really want to go home and binge and purge in secret.
[Tip] For Starbucks anxious coffee lovers
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 12:16:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97aqog/for_starbucks_anxious_coffee_lovers/
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https://i.redd.it/4ilx90yno3g11.jpg
[Other] Always look on the bright side...
/u/KattyWampus666 [:karma:163cm | SW: 123kg CW: 93kg GW: ? | 27F:karma:]
Created: Tue Aug 14 12:08:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ao52/always_look_on_the_bright_side/
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I currently have an insane double ear infection, my face is so swollen and I cant open my mouth. Im in terrible, horrible, unbelievable pain... But there is a silver lining!
I have an excuse not to eat AND the antibiotics are making me so nauseous that I wouldnt even if I could! The facial swelling is triggering me so hard that Im thrilled to be unable to eat for a few days.
Fml.
[Rant/Rave] Ultimate betrayal
/u/online-waifu [5'3" | CW 210 | GW 175 | UGW 120 | 19F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 12:04:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97amse/ultimate_betrayal/
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Iāve been eating at below maintenance (not exactly 1200, but NEVER more than 1500) for the past 3 days because Iāve had a bunch of family dinners these past three days and I gained weight. I logged everything in MFP and even over estimated Iām sure.
The day before my 3 days of hell I took a laxative and was down to 198 and I was so fucking happy but now Iām back to 202 and it wonāt fucking go away ahhhh
I have to high restrict now. I hate purging but I have to lose these 3 pounds or else Iāll really go insane.
Anyone else been completely betrayed by their own body? Cause this blows
Done with Laxatives.
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_ [5'6 | CW 130.8 | GW 120 | UGW 100| F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 12:02:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97am6f/done_with_laxatives/
---
Every single fucking time I take them I just end up so drained. I can't get my workout or anything accomplished. Why the fuck do I do it? I don't even eat enough on them to justify it. I need to grow up.
[Other] My totally normal and not at all suspicious shopping list
/u/shonamairead [5'6 | CW - 145lbs | GW - 120| -16lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 11:39:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97af3q/my_totally_normal_and_not_at_all_suspicious/
---
https://i.redd.it/0teb172xh3g11.jpg
Abilify?
/u/versperalaxis
Created: Tue Aug 14 11:35:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97adzu/abilify/
---
So iām being weened off of it bc that was the source of MAJOR weight gain, i found out. How long does t typically take to lose the weight naturally without restricting? Gained roughly 35lbs from it. i know itās different for everyone, but maybe an estimate?
[Other] I am right this second, binging, and idgaf
/u/_Pulltab_ [:karma: 5'7"| 26.3| -26.8 | F :karma:]
Created: Tue Aug 14 11:29:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97ac4c/i_am_right_this_second_binging_and_idgaf/
---
Iāve been on the super-super restriction train recently and have lost 7.6 pounds in the past week. Yesterday, I burned 300 more calories than I ate and woke up a full pound down (Iāve been down the last 4-5 days).
Today I am paying for it. Was doing well until about 30 minutes ago. I decided to have a rice cake and Pb because I was feeling really faint (I only eat dinner, generally).
And here I am, sitting on the couch, sucking down these cheese cracker things that are supposedly low-carb, but only if you eat a human-sized portion of them, not a whale-sized portion.
My stomach hurts. My heart is pounding, and I just cant make myself stop.
Fuck me.
[Discussion] Does anyone have weird punishments?
/u/thirdocean
Created: Tue Aug 14 11:26:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97abgp/does_anyone_have_weird_punishments/
---
I hate having long hair. Itās hot and sweaty and bad. Iāve decided I wonāt cut it until my goal weight. I might not even allow myself to dye it until Iām there. I thought I was better but I went from b/p and fasting to just binges and now Iām 214lbs. I need to get it off me. I want to hurt myself until it goes away. Wish I could cut fat like hair. Anyways does anyone else do this kind of dumb shit to themselves?
halo top: update
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 115 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 11:09:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97a693/halo_top_update/
---
I've eaten almost an entire pint of halo top yesterday and fuck. My stomach hurts so god damn bad. Fucking lactose intolerance. Should have gotten the dairy free one :(
On the plus side, I've stolen my scale back and I'm now 114 and I'm on my period, so hopefully I'm less? :)
Forced to eat at work
/u/lxelan4862 [ā½5'3 | CW 106-108| BMI ? | GW recovery | Femaleā½]
Created: Tue Aug 14 11:09:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97a61f/forced_to_eat_at_work/
---
Today I was reserving the day to restrict to high hell, and even felt excited about it since I have decent self control which I take pride in and knew I could pull it off. However.........I work at a pediatric office, and today one of our patients felt obligated to deliver us pastries and cake. My coworkers immediately flew down on the sugary mess..
Until they looked at me, who was awkwardly trying to make myself as small as possible and focusing on my work at the front desk as to not grab anyone's attention. But it failed. They were all looking at me, beckoning me to take a sugary carb-loaded treat. And I took it, because I was put on the spot..
Now my entire day feels sabotaged and whatever solid ground that I've been standing on thus far has slid out from under me...fuck.
My concentration
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Tue Aug 14 11:03:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97a4ah/my_concentration/
---
I'm running on empty and my concentration is suffering. I have a high demanding job and we are really fucking busy at the moment and all I can think about is how many damn cals I consumed over the past 6 days. How much weight I will lose if I continue for x amount of days/months. The different amounts of running I need to do to get to x bmi. What's the most weight I could lose in a month if I didn't eat anything.
I'm obsessed and have jumped right back in. I haven't eaten for two days and I want to push myself harder.
I have sat here at work foe the past hour doing nothing but looking at shit that is feeding my obsession.
Me when I eat 2 squares of chocolate and it puts me over my daily allowance and they weren't even that good and now I'm just thirsty.
/u/Dontloseyour-Ed [5ft | CW: 102lbs | BMI: 39 | GW: 86lbs | 16F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 10:52:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97a0pt/me_when_i_eat_2_squares_of_chocolate_and_it_puts/
---
https://i.redd.it/i7xew8yl93g11.jpg
How realistic and achievable is 200lbs by New Year's?
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 258 | Goal: 250 | 40.9 | 30 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 10:51:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97a0kw/how_realistic_and_achievable_is_200lbs_by_new/
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I know it's an aggressive goal, but I had my heart stomped on yesterday so I'm fueled by rage and heartbreak.
I've been averaging 10lbs a month as it is, and that's without any sort of significant additional caloric expenditure and quite a few lapses in control and judgement. Additionally in less than a month I should be back on my ADHD meds. I'm thinking if I stick with what I got and add on some running and lifting, I should be in pretty good shape by the end, right? Even if I miss my goal?
[Discussion] Headaches
/u/glitchydowner
Created: Tue Aug 14 10:44:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/979yed/headaches/
---
How do you guys deal with the headaches when restricting??
*Updated* My ED Story
/u/courtneyjinx
Created: Tue Aug 14 10:36:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/979vzp/updated_my_ed_story/
---
https://youtu.be/hJFFZPBxENE
[Rant/Rave] Iāve been feeling just horrible and binging almost every night for the last week
/u/quinoaslut [5'4"| 110 | 18.9 | -10| Woman]
Created: Tue Aug 14 10:28:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/979tmd/ive_been_feeling_just_horrible_and_binging_almost/
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with a couple sub 200 days mixed in. I feel so fat and disgusting and was scared of weighing myself. I saw my new thigh gap disappearing and I was so bloated and I knew I gained weight. I went to the gym last night with friends and had a small dinner only. Weighed this morning at 111.2..... I feel just as fat as I was at 120. I love this sickness. Iāll never lose enough weight. Gang gang gang.
[Other] I have no life outside of my ED
/u/Nutellapples
Created: Tue Aug 14 10:16:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/979pw4/i_have_no_life_outside_of_my_ed/
---
Seriously, I wake up and I'm thinking about eating. I am looking at memes and going over my caloric intake and increasing it by 50 calories 'just in case'. I constantly look at thinspo and bonespo . I constantly think about what I would look like and what life would be like once I reach <110lbs. I wonder if I'll finally die one day and I'll be relieved . I have no talents, or a life or a personality, I've met so many people with EDs and at least they can sing or dance or they can socialize and are likeable. I have none of those qualities. I am all alone with no friends and all people do is just make fun of me . I hope one day this ED kills me , it's the only thing I have going for me and I'm constantly (without even noticing sometimes) bodychecking and feeling my hipbones or collarbones when I want to binge or feel bad for overeating. I genuinely want to die but I dont want to suicide ( then people will be making fun of me and talking about me even after I'm dead , I'd rather just become so bony and underweight and sick and pretend to have something else so no one knows how I actually died ). No one wants me in this earth anymore , I'm disgusting and unwanted and honestly I just want to go....
I wanna get drunk and not get fat
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Tue Aug 14 10:04:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/979m7o/i_wanna_get_drunk_and_not_get_fat/
---
I don't like alcohol that much, but I want to be more social at parties and have a good time, but I dont wanna have too many calories. Do you have any recommendations for this? I heard vodka is good
[Discussion] I forgot how good this feels
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1 | CW 200 | BMI 26.5 |WL: -170 | M]
Created: Tue Aug 14 09:57:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/979jun/i_forgot_how_good_this_feels/
---
Wow. I hadn't restricted like this in a long time and I forgot how awesome it feels. Everything is right. I'm losing 3lbs at least each week and everyday is a success. I am a bit less productive in my work, but I don't care.
Whenever I restrict my mood is just soooo much better. Normally I feel all this sadness and pressure about how my day wasn't that productive or that fun. All of that is gone now.
I've also never started restricting this close to a normal weight before and so it actually feels like I'll get there...I'm trying not to feel too hopeful because I know that my inner fatty is waiting outside to trip me up. But fuck him for now.
[Other] He gets me
/u/atommom
Created: Tue Aug 14 09:51:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/979i8h/he_gets_me/
---
I started a new job yesterday and was so busy that I didn't get to take my lunch break. ~9 hours of working without anyone even bothering me about it. It was great. When I went home and told my hubby about it, he blurted out: "Jokes on them! That's how you get skinny!" I was like I know right?!
Planned binges are never as fun as you think they're going to be.
/u/dxylightt [short | 120-125? | GW: 90-95 |]
Created: Tue Aug 14 09:17:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9797qx/planned_binges_are_never_as_fun_as_you_think/
---
I'm getting my meds switched later this week (I'm going back on Prozac, which reduced my appetite the last time I was on it). And so my ED brain is now like, "Oh, you need to have one last binge before you gets your meds switched since you won't be binging anymore after that !!!" like yeah okay, keep fooling yourself.
Anyways, I ordered a ton of binge food from Walmart.com that was supposed to arrive Wednesday, except the order was split and now half of it is supposedly going to arrive Thursday and the other half tomorrow, and the tracker said this morning some items might arrive today. Like, great. That made one binge day now turn into three, thanks Walmart.
Anyways, I don't think any of it's coming today since the mail already came and no package was not sight, but prior to that since I already assumed the package was coming in I binged on an insane amount of bread and cereal and made a giant mug cake out of an entire carton (yep) of fucking Slimfast powder.
I feel groggy and gross and I'm even *annoyed* at the fact that within the next couple days oreos and poptarts and frosting and all that shitty binge food will be arriving at my door. I'm not going to throw it away, because I know that it'll just make me feel guilty and I'll reorder it.
But, seriously, planned binges are NEVERRR as fun as I think they'll be. At least with those compulsive out-of-the-blue binges, you get that rush of dopamine and adrenaline before the self-hatred sets in. But with planned binges, you get to stew on it and calculate what food to get and how much to buy and it takes the spontaneity right out of the picture, so all you have left is the self-hatred and empty wallet and feelings of guilt even BEFORE you start eating.
Anyone have any stories about planned binges that just were NOT worth it?
Went for a group lunch. It went as expected.
/u/Bustakrimes91
Created: Tue Aug 14 09:12:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9796f8/went_for_a_group_lunch_it_went_as_expected/
---
I go to a womenās group every Tuesday. Today they paid for us all to go to an Italian deli and have lunch. If I had known in advance I would have made an excuse not to go but they thought it would be a nice suprise for everyone.
So I just sat and drank my water while everyone kept asking why I wasnāt eating and saying that I look like I never eat. I am a perfectly healthy weight (110) so itās not like Iām skinny. It was so awkward. I wish I just had something even a salad but I couldnāt bring myself to do it.
I wonāt be going on a Tuesday anymore I just feel so awkward now. These were ladies I thought would not be judge mental but I was so wrong.
If I made a comment about how they were overweight and shouldnāt eat a huge plate of pasta and soup AND garlic bread they would be so offended but apparently itās a huge joke that I didnāt want to eat anything š.
Sorry for the rant but I knew you guys would understand. Any tips on how to recover from this with them without looking like a nutjob ? I could have just said I already ate or that I wasnāt hungry but I totally froze. Urghh stupid brain.
H e l p
/u/blmatsuu [5'2 | BMI : 20 | CW : 111 | GW : 99 | -17]
Created: Tue Aug 14 09:02:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9793by/h_e_l_p/
---
I literally had a can of chicken soup (220 cals) and I panicked and tried to purge it but it was the only thing except water Iāve had today so it was just water with chicken in it so I stopped because I cba drinking 2 more litres of water but I feel like Iāve gained weight? I keep looking at my thighs and my stomach and theyāre massive and I canāt tell if itās dysmorphia or weight gain, Iāve been drinking way more water lately (at least 2 litres a day, used to just drink tea oof) so maybe thatās made me gain water weight? Idk man I just need reassurance Iām panicking, Iāve made a ton of progress lately and Iām scared Iāve fucked it up, like maybe all the water got absorbed by my fat so now Iāve gained a ton of weight? Idk itās probably just my ed being an absolute dick but Iām anxious holy shit
Can't make myself throw up
/u/lobiggz92
Created: Tue Aug 14 09:01:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9792v5/cant_make_myself_throw_up/
---
I'm honestly at a loss. I used to binge but now that I had a major body change (I'd rather not say what) I can't make myself throw up. I've tried a toothbrush. I barely even have a gag reflex anymore and when I do gag i just gag and that's it.
Rapidly gaining weight. So depressed. šš
[Rant/Rave] Iām back bitches! And at such an ironic time!
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | CW: 68kg | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 08:08:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/978njr/im_back_bitches_and_at_such_an_ironic_time/
---
So basically, for the last 6 months I considered myself recovered. Ate what I wanted, was finally stress free, worked out, felt good about myself and my body, the works.
Last night I opened up to my friend that I had āeating issuesā and he goes āyeah I noticed.ā
So obviously I asked what that meant and heās like āhaving been around people with eating disorders I noticed that sometimes youād eat very little and other times youād eat a LOT - like someone whoās in recovery or trying to recover.ā
Which honestly? Made me happy. It made me fucking happy that he noticed my relationship with food was still fucked because I donāt really want to let it go because if I let my obsession with food and being skinny leave Iāll never be skinny.
So it turns out that after realizing this, a lot of self denial came to light. Me thinking that chia seeds, yogurt, coffee, a cliff bar, and a protein shake in a day after going to the gym for 1+ hours wasnāt normal (tbh I still think it is, he was like āthatās what Iād eat for breakfastā), my relationship with the gym was unhealthy, I still do body checks every time Iām in front of a mirror, me binging every once in a while on everything in sight, food anxiety and guilt when I eat badly or too much and donāt work out after. Itās all still fucking there.
And Iām happy. I want to embrace it again so badly and lose weight and stop eating. And Iām not even stressed. This is usually my coping mechanism. Iām just bored. Like Iām ready to restrict again.
And yet at the same time, I just requested to see a psychologist to finally fix these problems.
So what a time. I just got āworseā like the desire to be skinny came back but only when I decided to actually try to start fully becoming better.
A weird friendless in between.
/u/Perfect_Difficulty
Created: Tue Aug 14 07:58:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/978kp4/a_weird_friendless_in_between/
---
I keep getting the urge to joke about unhealthy eating habits with my friends but I can't because they just act all concerned. And also because I want everyone to think I'm 100% healthy all the time because a lot of people look up to me for it! I've inspired people to make a lot of healthy choices and lose weight in healthy ways! It's like one of my main goddamn character traits. I take people to the gym with me and I'm a huge proponent of making small changes over time. I don't want people to hear my healthy advice and be like "well that just leads to becoming a fucking anorexic like her." Goddamn I don't have to be perfect for my advice & knowledge to be sound.
I guess I feel partially responsible for these people partially like I'll lose something people respect about me.
At the same time I don't feel like I fit in in proED places cause I don't usually freak out that much if I eat too much or whatever. I'm rather forgiving to myself. I'm not any more obsessed with food or weight than I was before I started losing. I'm like less mentally disordered now that I'm losing weight- the binge restrict cycle and crushing guilt and self loathing is all gone but also I don't uhhhh eat enough food. My goal weight is low-healthy and I know if I'm not happy with my body once I reach it, I'll have to do something other than lose weight. My calorie goal has dropped to 950 because of time limits I've placed on myself, but If I'm spiraling then it's a very calm very controlled spiral.
Anyway I just feel like I'm holding a lot of feelings in and I just wanna talk about this post 600-cal-day "hangover" (today is my brother's birthday so I ate less yesterday to make room) that I have or laugh about my fuckin stupid looking 50 calorie lunch without everyone whining at me about eating disorders. But at the same time, I'm a sanctimonious bitch who can't relate to the rest of y'all.
Today is a new day. Your calorie count starts at zero.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Tue Aug 14 07:44:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/978h4s/today_is_a_new_day_your_calorie_count_starts_at/
---
Humblebrag: successfully avoided a binge this weekend (partially by getting sick lol my life), but if you had a bad weekend or Monday, just remember:
If you ate 5,000 calories yesterday, about 10% of those calories were burned off in digestion. That's 4,500 calories leftover. Then you probably burned 1500 of it with your TDEE. That's 3,000 calories leftover. Your body also responds to overfeeding by increasing your unconscious activity level, so let's subtract an additional 10% of that. That's 2,700 calories leftover. Not all of that is going to be turned directly into fat, so you're looking at well under a pound of fat gain.
Do you know how little that matters in the grand scheme of things?
[Help] Has anyone taken spironolactone or other prescription diuretics while restricting?
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 06:43:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9780z5/has_anyone_taken_spironolactone_or_other/
---
I used to take spiro for acne but now I want to try taking it again but this time for fluid retention since my face looks puffy sometimes. Iām a little curious as to whether or not itās safe to take while restricting since it can affect electrolytes. So my questions are:
1) have you taken it for fluid retention and did it help with that?
2) did you have side effects
Thanks!!
"that stuff will kill you, you know"
/u/tzt-t
Created: Tue Aug 14 06:38:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/977znw/that_stuff_will_kill_you_you_know/
---
Direct quote from a barista this morning, said after I had gathered up the courage to say that the cream container was empty.
All I've had in the past 3 days is coke zero and water and I decided to treat myself to a TINY bit of cream in my coffee. There wasn't any so I had to ask, which makes me SO anxious. But I actually did it!!! Just for him to tell me that it's gonna kill me, and make me feel extremely ashamed. He said it in front of other customers too š¬
Like yeah, I sure do hope so. Thanks for making me feel real good about my choices, Mr Barista Man š
It doesnāt matter how little food I eat, Iām still not losing weight
/u/depressedlilfuck
Created: Tue Aug 14 06:28:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/977xgm/it_doesnt_matter_how_little_food_i_eat_im_still/
---
Thinspo Tuesday August 14, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 14 06:10:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/977t0r/thinspo_tuesday_august_14_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 14, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 14 06:10:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/977szs/daily_food_diary_august_14_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 14, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Las Vegas + Anorexia
/u/bmalaur [5'4" | 24F | HW: 127 | CW: 103 | LW: 85]
Created: Tue Aug 14 06:05:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/977rym/las_vegas_anorexia/
---
HELP
i am going on vacation / work trip to Las Vegas this week and I suddenly started panicking about it last night.
how do i eat healthy & avoid binge drinking out of anxiety?
how do i cope with being in a swimsuit?
what are your vacation harm reduction tips ???
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel paradoxically... healthy with their ED?
/u/thrownawaykalbi [5'7"|CW 100.5lbs|BMI 15.6|SW 108lbs|21F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 05:56:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/977pn8/dae_feel_paradoxically_healthy_with_their_ed/
---
For most of my recent restrictive period (a few weeks), I have felt extremely anxious and more mentally ill than usual from all the obsessing over food and calories. Physically, I've felt weak and miserable. I've lost about 5 pounds in the past 2 weeks and am now at a BMI of 15.6. It makes sense that I've felt like shit for that time.
However, in the past few days I feel like things have started to turn around. I'm settling into a routine somehow, getting used to everything. I try really hard to push away the anxiety and distract myself so I don't dwell and work myself into a panic attack. I've learned to eat tiny snacks if I get too weak and faint, and vitamins seem to help. So I am learning to manage some of the aspects of my ED that were making my life uncomfortable.
Well, today I actually feel kinda good? And comfortable. I feel so in control of my body and I'm kind of proud of myself for being able to lose weight so quickly. Also, MY SKIN IS SO CLEAR!!! It's amazing. Idk if something I was eating was exacerbating my acne... but.. wow. It's glowy and smooth and the number of breakouts have decreased dramatically.
I am traditionally a very extreme couch potato. I never exercise, absolutely hate it, I barely move at all throughout the day. I am a NEET so I lie in bed all day and only get up to go to the bathroom, eat or briefly walk my dog. So spending 23 hours of lying down a day plus starving myself made me quite weak.
There were a few days though where I wanted to eat a small snack like a piece of chocolate or some crackers but didnt have enough calories left... so out of desperation, I started running for 10 minutes with my dog every morning and night. Or going on slightly longer walks so like 20 min. This gave me just enough extra calories to satisfy myself with a treat and well... I caught myself smiling and laughing while I was running today. My dog was so excited and running together, I felt like we were connected almost, cause we were so in sync, and it made me feel good to think that he considered me a member of his pack.
And I actually felt kinda happy???? which is so wierd because I'm usually so depressed and miserable all the time. I guess what they say about exercise is true, even a bit can make you feel better...
Even though my motivation for exercising was unhealthy and dysfunctional as fuck.
Yeah, so i guess I was just wondering if anybody else has experienced this. feeling better because of their ED. who knows, maybe it's just a temporary moodswing though and what I'm experiencing is fake happiness :')
[Other] Lemon water
/u/audreyhepburnwho
Created: Tue Aug 14 04:34:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9778zb/lemon_water/
---
So. I've been fasting a lot. I had a small bread on friday, Saturday nothing, Sunday little bit of scrambled eggs and nothing since then, other than black coffee and diet monster. Monday night i met with some friends and asked for a sparkling water with ice and got one with two lemon slices. It tasted so good, i freaked. I could've sworn it tasted sweet!! So I was sure it was soda like 7up or sprite..... I couldn't handle drinking sugar so i asked a friend to taste it for me, meanwhile the waitress noticed and i asked her if it was water.... Both her and my friend looked hella confused..... It WAS just water, but the lemon slices gave it a bit of taste and combined with the gas, it just.... Tasted so heavenly..... Of course this is 100% due to my fasted state, i mean my tastebuds hadn't had anything else in a while. Halfway through the glass it tasted like regular water again. It was ridiculous. I was so embarrassed and just kept saying haha they must have the water in a jug full of lemon (the slices in my glass were teeny tiny) but my friend just looked confused af. To a regular non fasted person im sure it didn't taste anything like 7up lol.
Looking for a post!!
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | CW: 68kg | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 14 03:12:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/976u6t/looking_for_a_post/
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I forgot who posted it and how long ago it was posted but it was like this online test you could do and it would tell you wear you fall in mental illnesses.
'craving' to restrict?
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Tue Aug 14 03:07:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/976tb4/craving_to_restrict/
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SO I've bee low restricting for a while, and after my last binges around a month or so ago, I decided to be somewhat healthier and slowly go from under 500 cals to 1000, then slowly upping further while I'm still losing weight to do it the healthy way, mainly because uni starts this month and I should be studying like 10 hours a day and my metabolism is already wrecked and I need to get a grip on life.
I used to be quite content with around 300 calories (apart from the binges and feeling light headed of course), but now I'm usually around 600-700ish and my cravings are suddenly soo strong although I'm eating much more, I'm thinking about food non-stop and I'm not losing weight. Gosh.
This makes me really want to go back to 300ish calories because at least, my appetite was dimmed and I was losing weight. That's such a great combo. And watching my friends dieting right now and getting slimmer isn't helping me at all.
Guys, I need some advise! :(
[Discussion] Anyone else here find it easier to restrict when consuming purely liquids?
/u/ronswansoooon
Created: Tue Aug 14 01:59:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/976htj/anyone_else_here_find_it_easier_to_restrict_when/
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For the past month now, I've been strictly making homemade smoothies (my favorite one is avacado and banana with unsweetened almond milk (ends up being 200 cal). That's pretty much what I have every single morning before my uni classes and I'll have another one mid day. All in all, my max calorie consumption is 500. Throughout the day I may consume coffee with liquid stevia, unsweetened tea or the occasional sugar free redbull. There's been only two days so far that I've strayed away from purely liquids, but I'm so happy that I didn't binge on those days. I find it so much easier to restrict and feel so much more in control when I'm not eating solid foods.
[Discussion] Update: day two liquid fast
/u/dreamedotcom
Created: Tue Aug 14 01:52:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/976gki/update_day_two_liquid_fast/
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Hey guys just an update on my liquid diet. Day one 500 calories, day two 400 calories. Lost 1.3 kg last night.
Anyone doing it with me?? I need to get back to my pre binge weight.
Posting meals on peach, user name dreamerdotcom
[Rant/Rave] Feel like I'm faking
/u/ch3rryk1tt3n [5'0'' | 149 | 29.1 | -8 | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 14 01:28:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/976clu/feel_like_im_faking/
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There was a brief period of time when I didn't really care about calories or how much I ate or weighed, almost like the depression kicked the ed thoughts out of my head, but a little over two months ago, they started to come back, and it started with over exercising, but now it's fasting and restricting, exercising when I can, the usual. I have all the apps I need, I calculate calories etc all day long, and it's all I think about, but it feels like it's not that bad, and like I'm pretending.
I haven't managed to lose that much weight because I'm not trying hard enough, I never manage to fast for longer than a day because I still live at home with my family, I haven't restricted below 600 calories or anything in that realm, but more around 1000, though I'm working on it, and I don't always turn down food from people. Sometimes my friend will offer me a cookie or something and I'll take it! And it makes me upset and anxious, but not enough to not eat it. I was having a pretty good restriction day (for me), ending with about 900 calories, and then I just messed it all up by shoving chips in my face in the kitchen.
Thing is, I think I would have felt better if it were a proper binge, but it feels like I blew my progress for nothing, that feeling of control just for 300 calories of chips. I think if I really had an eating disorder, I'd have more willpower and lose more weight, and I wouldn't have let myself have those chips. I just feel like I'm being dramatic about everything I do and I don't even have an eating disorder, even though I fasted for 21 1/2 hours yesterday and turned down lunch with my friends and sat there while they ate, reading the menu and thinking about how everything had far too many calories, I pretended I had to use the bathroom in a store we were in so I could get some extra walking in and burn more calories. Things like that. I can't tell if I'm faking or not and I'd feel so bad if I was while people here were actually struggling, and then I feel worse because I wish I were struggling too. I wish I could be sicker. Didn't mean for this to be so long! Sorry. I think I will just have to try harder and have more control.
[Discussion] DAE get their āsummer bodyā literally any time other than summer?
/u/landfill7707
Created: Tue Aug 14 01:12:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9769sw/dae_get_their_summer_body_literally_any_time/
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Itās been like this for me for the past 6 years ā Iām in great shape when Iām all bundled up and it doesnāt even matter what I look like under coats and sweaters and scarves, but when summer hits and I can go to the beach or go out wearing crop tops, shorts, skirts, Iām at my highest weight of the year
[Rant/Rave] taking notes on eating disorders right after i did a huge binge
/u/lighghtup [5'7" | 177 | 27.6 | 19F | thicc]
Created: Tue Aug 14 01:12:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9769sb/taking_notes_on_eating_disorders_right_after_i/
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just broke my fast by eating a whole fucking pizza, then proceeded to go and study for an upcoming exam, but little did I know that the next chapter topic is weight loss and eating disorders :-)
thank u, textbook, for making my binge guilt 14738190x worse this time
Just a little annoying thing called life
/u/KissMeSlowlyPlease
Created: Tue Aug 14 01:00:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9767mi/just_a_little_annoying_thing_called_life/
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I'm sooo tired of cycling. My throat is burning furiously, I can't continue to do this.
My team had suggested that I do a stint in inpatient, but I start medical school next week. Like HOW am I suppose to go in patient when I have life to do? I just don't know what to do, I was excited last week because my control was back, I've been restricting for several weeks, but then yesterday. I don't know what happened, I just felt all this pressure, and then the binge and purge happened and the numbers started rolling around in my head.
I have a behavior, I'm a bit obsessed with the number six. I have to eat exactly three, six, or twelve bites and chew exactly those times. It's weird af.
Anyway, I'm running out of wind, but this offered a brief respite from this day.
** Not asking for sympathy or anything like that, just a place to share my thoughts.
**Pretty sure this will get downvoted too, cause I broke a rule or something š
Hope you all don't mind,
KMS
Freeze dried fruit!
/u/heartemoji
Created: Tue Aug 14 00:32:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9762ij/freeze_dried_fruit/
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The ones I am buying are 39 cal a packet.
So good!!
[Rant/Rave] Tried throwing all my food away
/u/noxadvena
Created: Tue Aug 14 00:13:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/975yv5/tried_throwing_all_my_food_away/
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I thought my roommate was at work and I was on a mission to clear out all my cupboards but he was in the kitchen and so I had to just make it look like I was getting a snack. Iām just in the mood to clear everything out Iām so anxious and I donāt feel like Iāll be able to calm down until itās all out of the house but I have to wait until heās gone and ughhh Iām just losing it. I know itās so silly.
I need to replace everything with all safe foods. Iāve been bingeing for 2 days after a week of doing so well and Iām just so upset and angry at myself and I feel like clearing the cupboards and fridge is the only thing to do right now but I canāt without it raising questions. I wish I lived alone and could just have a completely empty kitchen.
Being the fat friend
/u/babybreathheart
Created: Tue Aug 14 00:11:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/975ymr/being_the_fat_friend/
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I have two very very thin friends with tiny hips that are both gorgeous and are constantly getting hit on when we go out. Last time we went to town they both ate so much high calorie food without a second thought and they don't work out or worry about diets or anything. I've eaten under 500 Cal's everyday for the past week and have gained 2 pounds š. It seems so unfair that they can eat poorly and not work out and just be naturally thin and beautiful and I eat the tiniest bad thing and I feel like I gain 10 pounds and I have to try really really hard to be somewhat thin. It's just really discouraging.
I dont know where to go besides here trigger warning i talk about dying
/u/Bisexuwhale21
Created: Tue Aug 14 00:07:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/975xsq/i_dont_know_where_to_go_besides_here_trigger/
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I just watch my boyfriend smash a glass And throw all of of tge shitr on the top of our bookshelf into the shower.
I hate that wet drink... i hate that i hate that e drink
I hate that the only thing that makes me feel ok in the morning id's traking my ecy stack annd pretend that my at home life idn't. harppn and in could just be in class... i hate my life. I want to die i wish i could die.. i really fuckung hope the ecy stack makes my heart fail so i can just go to sleep forever. Everytimr my heart skips a beat i hope i. just pass out for the final time. I dont want to deal with anything anymore. I wish it would just fucking stop.
How do you handle your triggers?
/u/diaperedwoman
Created: Tue Aug 14 00:02:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/975wq6/how_do_you_handle_your_triggers/
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Sometimes I get triggers from photos I find or things people say and it makes my body dysmorphia kick in and I feel fat and I then feel like I gotta start restricting more and let my weight drop and let it happen naturally without me eating sweets or a little more food to maintain my size. But then I am always scared I will look like a skeleton and be ugly and damage my body from being too skinny. So that stops me from relapsing. I tell myself I will not make myself anorexic to be skinnier or else I will be a skeleton by the time I am that small. My body just isn't built that way and they just have a different body type. I am two pounds away from being underweight according to the BMI calculator and I can already feel my hip bones and there is no fat there and I can already see my back spine and my rib cage and more of my bones show when i stretch my back or lean over and I can feel my rib cage and it's just skin and no fat and I have to be careful how I lay down because it hurts when my bones touch each other if I am not careful and even hitting my own hip bones can hurt if I am not careful and this is me still in my normal weight range. Even resting my elbows on hard surface is uncomfortable because of no body fat in my arms. It also hurts to do sit ups so I lay on pillows for it when I do my work outs so I am not on my back bone or tail bone because of no body fat there. It's still in my buttocks and thighs though. I am not even that curvy anymore like I used to be because I burned up my body fat around my hips and thighs from losing weight from working out and eating less and cutting back on sugar and sweets. I can even see my shoulder bones too and they stick out at the top and I can feel them very well because it's all skin and bone. No I don't look like a skeleton like you have seen with children who are starving in countries with no food and like you have seen with the Holocaust. I don't want to look like that so that keeps me from relapsing when I get triggers and I look at my bones and feel them to remind myself if I get any skinnier, I will look just like that.
I don't seek out any triggers, they just happen randomly because it's not like I can avoid them unless I stay off the internet lol and quit reading forums or talking to anyone online because they might say something and then I feel fat from it.
Someone told me to ājust eat. prove to me you care about me by eating. do it for me and Iāll know youāre genuine.ā
/u/praduh [š„ š° * 16.6, 5'5"]
Created: Mon Aug 13 23:33:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/975r73/someone_told_me_to_just_eat_prove_to_me_you_care/
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That was said by someone I donāt have a good relationship with and I really fucking wish people would understand we canāt just snap our fingers and this goes away. I canāt eat just because you tell me to and me eating should not be a sign of whether I care about you or not. oh my god.
Itās literally a mental illness. I almost had a panic attack today because a menu was telling me something was 170cal but online it was saying 270. Itād be wonderful if I could tell my ED to fuck off and let me not care but I canāt so like...... yea letās not corner me, eh? /end rant welp š¤¦š¼āāļø this ish is getting so tired 4real yall
I want to lose 10 pounds this week
/u/raredearfoxthoughts
Created: Mon Aug 13 23:23:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/975ozd/i_want_to_lose_10_pounds_this_week/
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Today I ran for an hour burning 750 calories and I ate 753 calories.
I want to burn 1000 calories tomorrow and only consume 300, I want to lose weight as fast as possible.
My Husband caught me in the middle of a binge.
/u/remmyowlbean
Created: Mon Aug 13 23:20:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/975oe9/my_husband_caught_me_in_the_middle_of_a_binge/
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Instead of judging me for it..he took the bread I just got out and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth...while smiling making me laugh about it.
Man do I love him.
Not sure if Iāve relapsed or am just poor
/u/IllegitimatePigeon
Created: Mon Aug 13 23:14:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/975n9o/not_sure_if_ive_relapsed_or_am_just_poor/
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we love a broke student queen š©š© fr though I canāt tell if Iāve relapsed or if Iām just really poor lmao. My weight has pretty much been stable since I left inpatient 5 years ago but this summer Iāve been in a bit of a financial pickle and also went vegan (omg why didnāt I do this ages ago) and lost around 12 pounds making me officially ~~underweight~~ again which is like,,, really triggering but at the same time Iām 100% down and want to lose more. It doesnāt feel like a relapse though because losing weight wasnāt intentional and I donāt count calories (2012 me is shook) but I only let myself eat a max of two snacks a day (or one meal) so ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ is there even a right way to relapse idk man but I think itās happening
Will I get sent to inpatient?
/u/LumosMegan
Created: Mon Aug 13 22:58:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/975jw3/will_i_get_sent_to_inpatient/
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I was diagnosed with EDNOS almost a year ago and was doing great until I stopped treatment in June. In July I relapsed and now Iām doing much worse than ever before. I went from purging a few times a week to 24 hour fasts 2-3 times a week, 45 minutes of exercise daily, IF and OMAD only for meals, and purging after every meal. I replace my electrolytes now but before I learned I even needed to do that I was getting faint and tingly and having heart palpitations after multiple purges.
I know I need to get help. But I have two concerns.
1. I have lost 12 lbs in two months. I want to keep losing. Is it irrational to say Iāll get help once I reach my goal weight?
2. If I go to my therapist, can he send me to a center? Is he going to make me go or tell my husband that I need to go? Will most therapists try to help me outside of a center first?
3. Is this even that bad? I donāt feel āsick enough.ā But I know Iām not able to look at this objectively. Is the behavior described above āsevereā or am I just making a big fuss over nothing?
Thanks in advance.
DAE: have a tough time reading their partner
/u/castingsessionpod [5'10" | CW: 185?| UGW: 160 | Male]
Created: Mon Aug 13 22:34:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/975eq8/dae_have_a_tough_time_reading_their_partner/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I can never better because any attempts at ED intervention triggers my PTSD, which triggers my ED, and so on...
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 81lbs | BMI: 15-something | -?lbs| f]
Created: Mon Aug 13 22:24:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/975cqe/i_can_never_better_because_any_attempts_at_ed/
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When I was 14, I weighed 67lbs. I had a blood potassium level of 2.2 and an accompanying arrhythmia. My heart beat was in the low 50s, and fell into the 30s whilst sleeping.
I was unwell, and I was close to death, and so I was admitted to an inpatient facility where I stayed for two weeks.
While I was there, I was sexually assaulted by a staff member.
Now, any recovery-associated activity (therapy, weight gain, and especially being in any hospital setting) puts me in such an awful place mentally that I can't cope with it.
I currently see a doctor pretty frequently, and I can't really stop because i need a prescription for potassium pills otherwise I'd probably die, and i'm so scared of going in and being weighed next week, because I don't think i could emotionally survive being admitted again, and i'm afraid they'll try one of these times. I was 79lbs last time, and I know i've lost a few pounds.
Being surrounded by people who remind me of my attacker isn't something i'm prepares to withstand. There's a big chance you that I would be sent to the same facility and have to see the person who did this. Even if it's not the same one- having people in scrubs watch me shower and use the bathroom is enough to bring on a flashback.
If it weren't for that, honestly, I wouldn't be all that opposed to it.
But because of that, i can't ever give it a try again.
Ain't that ironic? Treatment just makes me sicker and sicker, and the anxiety i'm feeling because Im in a position i may be forced back into that is also making me sicker.
Why do I crave red meat?
/u/EDtwED
Created: Mon Aug 13 22:17:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/975azl/why_do_i_crave_red_meat/
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I'm eating chicken and tuna for protein, but lately I've been craving red meat.
Iron deficiency maybe? Either way I'm eating it tomorrow but I was wondering if anyone else craved red meat while they were restricting
Thats not helpful
/u/Erowyn_13 [5'9'' | 247 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 22:12:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9759xh/thats_not_helpful/
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My boyfriend caught me purging tonight. He started lecturing at me. I wish i couldve been able to tell him that fucking yelling at me doesn't help me stop purging. Only i can make myself stop. And at this point, i don't really want to.
[Discussion] Itās my birthday today
/u/philoqueen [5'7 | CW: 112 | BMI: 17.5 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 21:57:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9756n6/its_my_birthday_today/
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Hello to 23! I really want to go out for a birthday dinner. Iāve done so so well lately and havenāt binged at all, I feel good, I feel like I could fast tomorrow and save my calories for dinner. And since itās my birthday I feel like I deserve some fancy restaurant mac n cheese and a slice of cake with my friends ya know?
What are your thoughts? What do you do on your birthday (food wise)? Should I allow myself the pleasure of food for once or not ruin it because Iām doing so well? I donāt know how to feel.
My ED has never been this bad on a birthday before.
Does Starbucks have any 0 cal sweetners they can mix in before they add ice?
/u/EDtwED
Created: Mon Aug 13 21:46:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9753yx/does_starbucks_have_any_0_cal_sweetners_they_can/
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I know they have it at the end and stuff but I was wondering if they could mix it in while it's still warm before the ice (like behind the counter)
I think iced coffee tastes better when sugar is added while hot. This is just a personal preference so if I had to add it by myself at the end it's nbd
[Help] How do you find the energy to workout?
/u/speedayyyy
Created: Mon Aug 13 21:23:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/974yom/how_do_you_find_the_energy_to_workout/
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I try my best to do a couple miles on the treadmill a day but I always end up feeling extremely faint and my head starts pounding due to heavy restricting. I want to be fit but especially after working on my feet 10 hours a day with no food can be difficult. How do I work out when I can barely stand :(??
[Rant/Rave] "You're doing it right then"
/u/Cactuseye [5'1.5| CW 156/7 | SW 162 | GW1 125 | 20f]
Created: Mon Aug 13 21:20:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/974y2o/youre_doing_it_right_then/
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I started talking to someone new recently and we got on the subject of diet/losing weight because he follows a pretty strict routine/diet to maintain a weightloss(Also admitting he does binge and exercise purge). and I was like "oh yeah I'm trying to lose around 35 pounds" and he was like "How?" So I had a moment of being truthful which I never am and said "Try to stay around or under 1,000 cals mainly" he replied with "And you've lost anything yet" and I said yeah to which he replied and i quote "Well you're doing it right then and seem to be able to stick to it, it'll come of soon if you're always this vigilant"...
I mean I dunno if this is *normal* friend encouragement but it seriously gave me motivation and I hate that I felt like I got confirmation. I sort of feel like he has some kind of EDNOS as well tbh, It's going to be interesting I feel if we keep hanging out more.
so iāve been taking progress pics since starting yoga 5 months ago..but now I donāt think I can post them
/u/fweakybby [5ā5ā | 132| 22.0 | 68lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 21:16:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/974x2e/so_ive_been_taking_progress_pics_since_starting/
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Iāve been building muscle like all over my body from doing yoga every day and Iāve taken pics all along the journey. Well today I took one and I real shit donāt think I can post it to my social media because my ribs are sticking out so much. Blessing/curse. š
[Help] Been having a period for 3 weeks
/u/EternalVertigo
Created: Mon Aug 13 21:00:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/974t7f/been_having_a_period_for_3_weeks/
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Hey guys, please tell me if this is not the right place to post on, i don't know where else to post this...
So 2 months ago I lost some weight like 5 kg or something. And I'm not eating many calories either, trying to eat below 600.
I've been having a light period for 3 weeks now. Should I be concerned? Or is it normal when you lose some weight? Btw I'm not underweight. I'm at a bmi of 19.
Im SuCh A fAt PiG
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 120 |GW 115| F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 20:58:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/974spu/im_such_a_fat_pig/
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Somehow my dad managed to lose 5 pounds over vacation whereas I ballooned up 4 pounds. And I ate two meals to day which just makes everything worse. I hate myself so much rn. I'm such a fucking fat ass and I can't wait to punish myself and get skinny. I deserve to starve. I don't deserve to eat. I'm liquid fasting my first few days back at school and will try to pursue 300 and less calories a day next week.
It just hurts to know that I'll never be skinny and pretty. I knew I shouldn't have eaten all of that on vacation and now it's coming back to bite me in the ass. I feel like I'll be trapped in this 120 pound bloated whale body forever. And it honestly makes me want to kill myself.
Rant over, just needed to put it out there. I can't tell anyone since I'm supposed to be in recovery. Recovery my ass. I won't stop until i'm a nice 105-110 pounds and I don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks. They can go fuck themselves.
[Help] Binging alone in a hotel. What is my life... A new low. [Trying to reach out]
/u/dead_inside_lmao
Created: Mon Aug 13 20:36:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/974nf0/binging_alone_in_a_hotel_what_is_my_life_a_new/
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Hey guys. I'm pretty sad. I feel lonely and strange. I'm at the "pRiMe oF My LifEeee\~" yet I rented out a cheap hotel to myself, went to 6-7 different places to buy binge food (almost 100$), and here I am. All alone.
I attract people that treat me like shit, losers who have a record of offenses that would or have sent them to jail multiple times, or quality men who give me a taste of the life I want only to take it away. I don't even like "bad boys", lol. I get so lonely and desperate I go hang out with people I swore I wouldn't waste another minute with because of how they put me down to feel better and are bad influences. I must have low self esteem... Why? I have so much. I'm practically a spoiled young woman who can't stick to her word. People stop be to tell me I'm pretty, but I know looks don't fucking matter aside from being someone's toy... then what?
Tonight is a new low. I wish I could be the girl that has quality friends, confidence, a boyfriend, stays busy volunteering and working out, and being creative. I am/have none of that.
I thought I was good at sniffing out guys who use me, but they get more and more creative and less and less obvious (at least to me.)
On the plus side, I've barely been able to eat 1/10ths of all the food or liquor I bought so far... sigh this is going to be a bitch to purge.
\*Is there like a chat room or something we can all shit-post in tonight? Lmao pls. Also any advice? Anything. How do I meet good kind people? Men that don't just want to use me? I am so alone. \*
Does Eugenia Cooney have the same disease as ādaddy long neck?ā
/u/wildstylemeth0d
Created: Mon Aug 13 20:36:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/974na5/does_eugenia_cooney_have_the_same_disease_as/
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I was always under the assumption that Eugenia cooney has long suffered from an ED, until I came across @daddylongneckk, a kid who has a disease that makes him emaciated with very long limbs.
This was a random thought I had.
[Help] I know this is a typical question but Iām stressing out about it.
/u/sewnp [5ā6ā and sad as hell babey]
Created: Mon Aug 13 20:21:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/974jf9/i_know_this_is_a_typical_question_but_im/
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So I weigh around ~170 right now and I want to get down to 125 as fast as possible. (And go lower who knows) I was wondering if a 1000 cal deficiency would be the best way to go about it? :(
Fucked up today.
/u/DistortionPuddle [5'7"|CW:143|BMI:22.4 |GW:125|31F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 20:03:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/974ez1/fucked_up_today/
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Iād been doing so well the last couple days, but today I binged HARD. Made cheesy spaghetti for my kid and ended up eating about 2 cups of it myself. Happened upon BFās stash of tortilla chips and ate the whole big bag myself. In my pity party state, had 3 beers and a glass of cider. I feel like Iām deep in a binge state and I need help to stop. Someone give me tough love?
[Rant/Rave] Forced treatment gave me issues.
/u/nobodylikesmeitsux
Created: Mon Aug 13 19:35:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9747qu/forced_treatment_gave_me_issues/
---
Just a rant. I don't feel like I had much of an eating disorder in the first place. I was underweight, but I never thought about food/how much I was eating/my appearance. I had a very small appetite, but no disordered thoughts. I was very happy with my life overall and my whole family is naturally very small. I never felt like I was not eating when I was hungry. My siblings and I all hovered naturally around a bmi of 16-16.5.
However, I had bradycardia and doctors assumed it was because of my 16 bmi so I was forced into treatment for weight gain. Eventually we found out the bradycardia was genetic and unharmful. Had nothing to do with me being small. But it was too late. They had already made me gain a lot of weight, and they had forced me every day to think about numbers, calories, my body, food and weight. This ended up being really bad and led to me obsessing over food ever since then.
I also had never binged even once before treatment. They brought eating when I genuinely wasnt hungry into my life. That wasnt even something I struggled with. I just had a small appetite, never binged. And it turned out I didnt even have any health issues from being underweight. Now binging is an enormous issue for me and I've been stuck in a binge/restrict cycle every fucking day of the 3 years since I got out and my life is hell. There wasn't a big problem until "treatment". Now I have a full blown eating disorder and am too ashamed to leave my house because of how fat I got. I was never able to lose the weight again because I wasn't restricting in the first place and never knew how to do that properly, so I just try to restrict then binge. Im stuck in this cycle until I die!
[Rant/Rave] The wheels on the bus go round and round <3
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 177.2 | 30.9 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 19:25:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97451b/the_wheels_on_the_bus_go_round_and_round_3/
---
Recovery fucking sucks.
That's not true, eating disorders suck.
But I am really bad at recovery, and I weigh almost 180 pounds now. I am truly, actually obese. Knowing that these numbers will make some of you feel terrified of being like me (or that some of you will feel a sense of relief that you're not like me) makes me feel almost nothing.
I ate 3,100 calories today. That isn't a typo. I weighed myself today for the first time in over 3 months and found I'd gained about 10 pounds. It's obviously not a surprise. This is what happens when you eat whatever you want.
I want to say "that's it, I'm restricting again, this time I REALLY mean it." But you know and I know that's bullshit. I'll be super active on the community and on Peach and in my weight loss spreadsheet for maybe a week, maybe a month, and I'll drop some weight. And then it will start getting harder. I'll crack, binge, purge, cave in. I'll miss relishing junk food and eating with my friends and ordering whatever I want and drinking red wine. I'll give up and put on another ten pounds in a horrifying short amount of time.
And then I'll weigh myself and I will be right back here. The cycle will go on. The wheels will keep spinning.
BMI = 30.9
[Rant/Rave] āwhatever youāre doing, keep it upā
/u/SamMav67 [5'6 | 126 | 20.4 | -9 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 19:17:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97437c/whatever_youre_doing_keep_it_up/
---
ohhhhh you bet I will
I love people who donāt ask how I lost weight, so then I donāt have to make up some bs about āeating so healthy/going to the gym/drinking lessā, I can just say thanks and move on with my day
[Rant/Rave] I hate me
/u/saltinedust
Created: Mon Aug 13 19:17:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97435v/i_hate_me/
---
There is this guy who I'm kinda sexting (this is the closest I've gotten to something in forever, last time I got laid was 3 years ago) And I really want him to like me. Like, like me like me. But I'm not even into him like that, but I still want him to like me like that. But it makes me feel like such a fucking trash human that he only thinks I'm hot. I know I sound damaged as fuck. I'm just going to chalk this up to my bpd and try to repress the need I have for everyone to love me. My self loathing has hit an all new low, but yet I want to be wanted.
Sorry for the ramble. It's 3AM, and I just got back from an hour and a half of working out, and I'm nauseous.
[Discussion] How many of you smoke and /or vape
/u/kurtisskinny [165cm | CW 155 | BMI 25.8 | ? | 21F:cake:]
Created: Mon Aug 13 19:17:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9742zx/how_many_of_you_smoke_and_or_vape/
---
I do both, vaping for cravings and boredom and smoking for weight loss (I notice it more when I smoke vs. Vape). Anyone else? Also for my weed smokers - do you find that when you hit batch bowls (tobacco & weed - everyone seems to call it something different depending on where you live?) you lose more weight? I do and have noticed it in other ppl that do it. Just curious for other ppls opinions
[Rant/Rave] I donāt have TIME for this!
/u/Mrsoberst
Created: Mon Aug 13 19:13:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97420p/i_dont_have_time_for_this/
---
I have GOT to stop with the bingeing and purging, I just donāt have time for it! I am supposed to be an adult! This week I have two essays to write and a test on Friday that I am absolutely screwed for and I NEED to study and write and do WELL on these things. Plus I have to go to work 4 days a week, and I have an incessant need to do over 10,000 steps and do C25K and at least half an hour of workout a day. Plus being normal with friends and keeping in touch with LDR. There is just no room in my schedule for binges unless I neglect one of these other things and thatās exactly what Iāve been doing the last few weeks, HENCE why everything has caught up to me this week and I just donāt have enough TIME!!!! AND Iāve put on weight and my skin is shot from all the purging.
I need to get my shit together. I need to get it together NOW.
So Iām going to try and put this shit on the back burner (haha so easy right), restricting makes me crazy and bingey so I am going to meal plan every day the day before and work up an immaculate timetable to stick to where there is no room for bingeing and WASTING MONEY I DONT HAVE!!!
*slaps self* SORT IT OUT
Thanks for listening š
Fasted Cardio Opinions?
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 18:58:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/973ycf/fasted_cardio_opinions/
---
I have heard that doing fasted cardio burns more fat/forces you to burn through your glycogen store. I have also read that itās a myth and no research supports that it makes a difference. Does anyone have any experience with this? If so, what were your results, did you find it made a difference versus nonfasted cardio?
[Rant/Rave] Much glamour, very sexy, wow ED
/u/PhoneWalletSanity [156cm/5'1.5| 100 lbs| 19.4| 18F| Exploring Recovery]
Created: Mon Aug 13 18:54:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/973x8f/much_glamour_very_sexy_wow_ed/
---
While restricting: hemorroids from desperately trying to shit.
While recovering: diarrhea because my body no longer knows how to digest food.
Shout out to the gas (coming out from both ends) that's been with me for this whole journey. ā
Finally tried halo top
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 115 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 18:31:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/973rl5/finally_tried_halo_top/
---
I got the birthday cake flavor... which I normally donāt even like. But itās pretty damn good. I was scared Iād be able to taste the stevia because I hate hate hate stevia, but I canāt taste it!!
Just yay. Now the challenge is to not eat the entire pint..
[Discussion] Anyone else not care for food or even feel hungry anymore?
/u/Hairless_Human [6' | CW 155.8 | BMI 21.1 | WL -124.2 |M 21]
Created: Mon Aug 13 18:22:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/973p15/anyone_else_not_care_for_food_or_even_feel_hungry/
---
Ever since I have started doing only 1 naked juice, 1 sprite for work, 1tbsp of psyllium husk, 2 16 ounce bottles of water, and some multivitamins for around 465ish cal I no longer feel the need to eat. Here I am a week and 2 days later and I dont feel hungry even the slighest bit. I thought maybe it was the psyllium husk but there is no way it lasts that long. Then I thought maybe its cause im a dude but that dont really make any sence either. So today I wanted to get a few calories in so I got me a 40 bag of pizza rolls and well I started to eat 1 and well I didnt care much for it. Pizza rolls are my jam but I just couldnt really be bothered to eat anymore. So I just did the recommended serving size of 6 and gave the rest to my brother. (Looked at me really weird for doing that as I have never given anyone my pizza rolls before) Feels really nice being in control of this. I feel like I could go a lifetime without eating. Sorry if im all over the place im at work and only get little bits here and there typed up before I gotta get to work again.
[Help] hi what do you wear when youāre fat and hate every bit of your body
/u/anon-lain
Created: Mon Aug 13 18:22:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/973ovd/hi_what_do_you_wear_when_youre_fat_and_hate_every/
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my body hate canāt get any worse, iām 5ā7 and 220 pounds after gaining 45 pounds in the worst 4 months of my life, so nothing fits, and to top it off i have a rectangular body shape with a big chest and no butt or hips.
ANYWAY, BESIDES MY SELF HATE.
what do you guys wear when you really just canāt take looking at your body? especially by definition obese/overweight :(
[Other] i hate how true this is
/u/UsualLetter
Created: Mon Aug 13 18:14:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/973mvk/i_hate_how_true_this_is/
---
https://i.redd.it/swdmwyplbyf11.jpg
Stopping eating completely? (Uhh asking for a friend)
/u/jadewillowx
Created: Mon Aug 13 18:12:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/973ma6/stopping_eating_completely_uhh_asking_for_a_friend/
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What would happen if I just deadass stopped eating completely? Anyone know the numbers on how much weight u can lose?
Gigi's return shitpost
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9" | CW Fat | GW 115 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 18:09:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/973li8/gigis_return_shitpost/
---
I've been gone awhile (binge phase, but more like maintanence phase, tbh) and I've missed you guys so much. I'm trying to become more 'adult' and transition to 1200isplenty type eating since I'm almost fucking 30. Hasn't gone great but I'm trying. Although I've avoided this place, I visit many of our 'sister' subs and have a shit post parody of typical posts and my snarky comments.
Progress pics:
I've lost 150lbs in 2 months!! (honestly, im just jelly)
I've lost 3lbs in 20 weeks! SW: 260 CW: 257!!!!!!! \*literally no change in physique\*
Fasting:
LMAO here is a picture of ice. It's like food, amirite?
I'm TOTALLY serious, I'm starting tomorrow! (\*never seen again\*)
I haven't eaten in 36 days (HOWW???)
This is a WAY OF LIFE. Read Dr. Fung. I'm so fucking healthy and will never get cancer.
1200isplenty:
\*post which is reposted unironically to ProEDmemes\*
\*post where I legitimately forget I'm not on ProED\*
HALO TOP!
TIPS?! I'm going to start TOMORROW!
This only has 50 calories! \*it actually has like 300, where tf do they get these estimates\*
\*screenshot of their MFP intake, no photos, just values, like we give a shit?\*
It's just CICO!
Sad pizza
Legit cool food pics which give me ideas
Fatlogic:
Ugh, fat people
Ugh, fat people, I may be 260lbs but that 240lb heifer has fatlogic.
ProED:
The sexiest and most supportive bitches on the planet, I love you all.
Please don't be offended, this is just a shit post, doesn't really apply to everyone on those subs.
[Help] my scale gives me different numbers when I put it in multiple spots on the bathroom floor
/u/ladytulips [5'7'' | 114lbs | 17.7 | -28lbs | 19F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 18:03:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/973k39/my_scale_gives_me_different_numbers_when_i_put_it/
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My scale marks me at heavier at some spots, and lighter at others. Itās driving me crazy. I donāt know if the floor is crooked or if the scale is broken, but itās scary that it ranges several pounds depending on where I stand on it in the room. I weigh myself like... ten times, shuffling around like a naked mole rat trying to find the āsweet spotā of the floor, to no avail. How can i fix this?? I canāt afford another scale at the moment... even though iād like to put a sledgehammer through my current one.
Anyone else regularly cook/bake and immediately throw out the food?
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5" | CW:127 | GW:115 | lost -72 | 20M]
Created: Mon Aug 13 18:00:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/973j85/anyone_else_regularly_cookbake_and_immediately/
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It's so horrible and wasteful but I keep doing it and I don't really know why.
HDCleaner 1.154 Crack With Premium Key Full Version
/u/aryan167
Created: Mon Aug 13 17:03:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/973429/hdcleaner_1154_crack_with_premium_key_full_version/
---
http://crackfullreal.com/hdcleaner-1-154-full-version/
Is 127lbs fat @ 5ā4?? I want honest opinions no bullshit
/u/depressedlilfuck
Created: Mon Aug 13 16:56:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9731yf/is_127lbs_fat_54_i_want_honest_opinions_no/
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[Discussion] Do any of you love feeding friends/family? (Content Warning: extensive food mention)
/u/thinistheonlyway
Created: Mon Aug 13 16:46:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/972zdg/do_any_of_you_love_feeding_friendsfamily_content/
---
I feel like my eating disorder makes me the most amazing host. A friend said he was coming over today and since I was running to the store to get milk and cigarettes anyway (and I spend almost no money now that I don't eat lmao) I bought him all his favourite snacks - chips and cookies and passionfruit soda and candybars. He ate mostly all of it and asked if I wanted any and I just said no, it's for you! I love cooking for people when they come around. I'll make another friend a huge bowl of pasta and homemade tomato sauce whenever he drops by, I'll make any kind of meal for family lunch or dinner, I'll spend hours making an apple pie for my parents or a coffee and walnut cake for my dad. I know it's fucked up and I know it's because of my illness but I feel like some kind of glowing angel of selflessness haha - and that joy is second only to not eating any of it and feeling so damn strong and together.
[Rant/Rave] b/p is the best part of my day
/u/whatsupbitchezzz [19F | 5'2" | CW 108 | SW 130 | GW2-105 UGW-95]
Created: Mon Aug 13 16:35:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/972wa2/bp_is_the_best_part_of_my_day/
---
I'm trying to do a 90% liquid diet until I go back to school but l'm already struggling mentally because binging and purging is the best part of my day. Ever since I realized I could do it I've just been wildly addicted. I love every single part of the process. I would detail but I don't want to "glamorize" it. I fear that I've wrecked my ability to restrict like a normal dieter. Bulimia is just.....the love of my life. I wish I could do it until the day I die. I wish it was a normal thing to do. I'm so upset :(
[Help] How are EDs treated, exactly? Looking for details on how therapy works.
/u/ohcrapitsmyface
Created: Mon Aug 13 15:56:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/972li7/how_are_eds_treated_exactly_looking_for_details/
---
I want help. I can't go on with this. But before I seek help, I am curious what "help" looks like.
I do not require in-patient or a hospital stay to get that out of the way.
I already take medications. I've been treated for anxiety and depression for over 10 years now. I understand they may switch my medications.
Therapy. That's what I want to know about. I've received help in the past, but it's been so long that I don't remember what therapy was like because I was only 15 years old. I'm almost 30 now. I remember not caring about food/body image for a good 7 years. But since I graduated college, I care. I restrict, I over-exercise, and occasionally binge-eat. However, being as controlling as I am, I do not allow my weight to dip below what's considered "unhealthy" because I have shit to do with life. At 15, I was DX with EDNOS. I imagine it would be the same DX. So let's say I find a therapist, we get the diagnosis ... then what? How exactly are my thoughts changed? Do they encourage me to stay away from social media? Make new friends? Find new hobbies? I guess I just don't see how my habits/thoughts can be changed after so long...
It might be helpful for me to mention my ultimate goal. Realistically, I think this will always be with me in some capacity. I do not think I will ever be "cured." But I want this to only consume maybe 10% of my daily thoughts instead of 90%. The control.. the counting calories, mentally planning my next meals and workouts, the obsession, the negative body thoughts... all of it. I honestly think the only solution would be if "fat" was ACTUALLY considered beautiful. I don't even want to hear it about the "fat acceptance" movement. Let's be real: THIN is what is beautiful.
Any insight would be wonderful...
Is 127lbs @ 5ā4 fat?
/u/depressedlilfuck
Created: Mon Aug 13 15:36:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/972fdi/is_127lbs_54_fat/
---
[Help] gaining days after a binge?
/u/isaezraa [165 | cw 53.5 | gw 52.5 | f | trying to be "healthy" lmao]
Created: Mon Aug 13 15:33:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/972ejp/gaining_days_after_a_binge/
---
Heres my weekend:
saturday morning: 53.5
saturday night: very drunken binge
sunday morning: no scale at the house i ended up at, ate 1000
monday morning: 54.3, ate 1000 (inc 1kg of watermelon)
tuesday morning: 54.4 (pre shit, also on period)
what the fuck is going on, is the watermelon somehow still in me? fuck my life
Thought this belonged here
/u/Plz_Can_You_Not
Created: Mon Aug 13 15:32:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/972e7x/thought_this_belonged_here/
---
https://i.redd.it/h119dbzqixf11.jpg
Rather than feed my stomach, I feed my eyes.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Mon Aug 13 15:13:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9728rm/rather_than_feed_my_stomach_i_feed_my_eyes/
---
They feast upon calorie challenge videos. They gorge themselves on recipes I won't make. They devour mouth-watering photo galleries.
My stomach, though. My stomach gets water and electrolytes.
"You're less than a person," I whispered to myself in the shower. "Even a dog knows to eat enough to survive."
What's an easy and convenient way to get more fat in my diet?
/u/DexterIbarbo
Created: Mon Aug 13 15:06:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9726nd/whats_an_easy_and_convenient_way_to_get_more_fat/
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Hey all. I have been recovering from my ED for a while now. Went trough the whole extreme hunger thing and got healthy again (at least physically lol). My diet mostly consists of fruit, potatoes, meat and dairy. When I check my fat intake, it's usually way too low. What are some easy ways to get fat in? I used to eat a lot of mayonaise but I got bored of it. My fat sources now mostly come from eggs and meat
How do you actually afford living with this??
/u/Maddiesin
Created: Mon Aug 13 14:51:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97220a/how_do_you_actually_afford_living_with_this/
---
I mean... I'm a student. I have 500ā¬ all for myself each month. I know a lot of friends that have less money to spend but they are never a broke fucking ass like I am. Like serious. The day I get my money is always heaven. Then 3 days later I'm already running away from the devil knowing I'll count ever fucking cent again soon to see if I can manage to buy another ack of cookies. Seriously being hardcore bulimic is such a joke man wtf. I hate being 'broke' all the time. I love make up and clothes and would love to decorate my room a little bit to feel more comfortable. But all I buy is food. Food food. What the hell. How do you manage not to spend all your money on binge food when a new craving creeps up your mind wherever you go because wherever you go is food. Oh god
[Discussion] Anyoneās drug addiction and ed go hand in hand?
/u/wiggimal [5'6 | 128 | 21.0 | -57 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 14:48:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/97215y/anyones_drug_addiction_and_ed_go_hand_in_hand/
---
I started using stimulants about a year into my ed; specifically adderall and cocaine. The past few months Iāve been on and off with restricting and eating normally (Iāve been considering it a makeshift recovery) but I was able to resolve my issues with stimulants and I completely stopped using them. Recently I developed the self control again to restrict but now I cannot stop thinking about how much I NEED drugs. I havenāt gone out of my way to get them but itās becoming an obsession and Iām nervous Iāll start using again which is just not a logical financial option for me right now. I feel like the obsessive thoughts about food and drugs go hand in hand for me. Anyone else experience this?
[Other] Another b/p phase ft. ~*dEeP*~ art
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 45 kg | 18F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 14:35:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/971x8n/another_bp_phase_ft_deep_art/
---
https://i.redd.it/36sd09yl8xf11.jpg
You can tell which days I'm home alone by how badly I binge
/u/damnitjanet6 [5"5'| hellbeast | BMI 26.4 | -35lbs| GW:105 | 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 14:34:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/971wp1/you_can_tell_which_days_im_home_alone_by_how/
---
https://imgur.com/ZE1wyTZ
[Rant/Rave] When are you going to eat?
/u/raspberryfleur [5'4 | 102 | 17.5 | -75 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 14:24:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/971trg/when_are_you_going_to_eat/
---
I work at a long term care home and I help serve coffee and dessert to residents after lunch. I have a group of ladies whoās faces literally light up when they see me. I love chatting with them. I offer one lady coffee, and she asks
āWhen are you going to have lunch?ā
This is a floor where everyone has dementia. I told her āafter you all have eaten.ā And she hands me a chocolate from her purse.
Despite my food anxiety, I ate it. In front of her too. It went down easier knowing it came from a good place.
And then I have one resident whoās far gone, constantly says harsh stuff. He says āyouāre really small.ā And then āyouāre kinda pretty.ā
Iāll take it as a win, Ollie.
I went home so happy, ugh.
[Help] Which of my weights is accurate?? HELP!
/u/motivation-cat
Created: Mon Aug 13 14:18:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/971rqn/which_of_my_weights_is_accurate_help/
---
This morning around 10:10, I weighed myself (after using the restroom ofc) and it came out to be 95 lbs.
This devastated me, so in my depression I crawled back to bed to wallow in misery for another hour.
I got back up around 11:30 ish, and weighed myself again since I still hadnāt eaten yet or had anything to drink. I weighed 93 lbs.
So in an hour, I seemed to have lost 2 pounds. Can someone please tell me which of the weights is accurate, or which one I can trust ?? Iām v stressed out about this right now :((
Catching a glimpse of my moisturizer after an unplanned b/p like
/u/HowAboutThatUsername
Created: Mon Aug 13 14:08:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/971op1/catching_a_glimpse_of_my_moisturizer_after_an/
---
https://i.redd.it/i76gprnw2xf11.png
Gum is great when youāre hungry
/u/skinnylilalien
Created: Mon Aug 13 14:07:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/971oli/gum_is_great_when_youre_hungry/
---
Until you start getting gassy from all the air ingested. Am I still going to chew an abnormal amount of gum? Ya god damn right I am.
Absolve me of my binge
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: 135 | LW: 95 | GW 115 | 23F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 13:59:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/971m2r/absolve_me_of_my_binge/
---
After getting in a huge argument with my ex boyfriend last night (and finally blocking him) I had some kind of psychotic break and binged like 2000 calories. I had already eaten ~1000 that day. So that put my at 2000. Thankfully I had fasted the two days before yesterday, and Iām fasting 24 hrs again and doing cardio today to make up for it (9 hrs to go š) so my average for the week is still around 1100, which is fine. Iām not trying to low restrict. But somehow I still feel icky and gross and shameful and I need someone to tell me itās ok.
The words were spoken. It's real now.
/u/Highoffempty [5'9 | 138 | GW: 120 | UGW: 108 | Lbs Lost: 22]
Created: Mon Aug 13 13:55:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/971kq6/the_words_were_spoken_its_real_now/
---
Disclaimer: my mom doesn't know about my ed at all. I do a super good job of hiding it and she just assumes I have periods where I'm really hungry and times when I'm not at all. She sees I'm not visually sick (I'm at a healthy bmi) and I say things that would make it seem like I have a really healthy relationship with food. She is the nicest person so this isn't at all a criticism of her.
I am going through a binge phase again. I feel so out of control. My mom sees me repeatedly going into the kitchen getting plates of food like 20 mins apart. She knew I barely ate last week and smiles and says "You're making up for last week!" I just laugh and say "yeah I wasn't even hungry!" She has no idea what that meant to me but wow that stings. Just as I'm obsessing over if I really undid all my progress it is said outloud.
Yay :) :)
[Thinspo] Can anybody give me short girl thinspo? Like 5ā2āā?
/u/Gloomy_Shroomy
Created: Mon Aug 13 13:31:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/971cza/can_anybody_give_me_short_girl_thinspo_like_52/
---
Not asking for photos but names of girls on Instagram that I could look up and follow. Thanks in advance for any help! X
[Rant/Rave] I can't talk to my friends anymore.
/u/Dontloseyour-Ed [5ft | CW: 102lbs | BMI: 39 | GW: 86lbs | 16F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 13:30:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/971cou/i_cant_talk_to_my_friends_anymore/
---
My friends want to meet up soon (school holidays and all that) and I don't want to at all. I have to go along with it and see them. I developed my ED at the beginning of the summer and I feel like i can't relate to anyone anymore. I've changed so much because of this ED and I feel like I'm seeing them and only being able to show them 1/3 of me, the rest being a fucked up shrivelled monster who's ready to die. Not to mention my anxiety has skyrocketed and it doesn't even help being around friends even though I should be most comfortable around them.
Gah I don't know what to do. I'm not looking for a solution, but if anyone else relates please rant below.
[Other] SHUT UP SHUTUP SHUTUPPPPP (36 hours into a fast)
/u/kurtisskinny [165cm | CW 155 | BMI 25.8 | ? | 21F:cake:]
Created: Mon Aug 13 13:25:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/971bbi/shut_up_shutup_shutuppppp_36_hours_into_a_fast/
---
https://i.redd.it/1f5dgqg4wwf11.jpg
[Help] I wanna stop eating until Iām pretty
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Mon Aug 13 13:23:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/971ana/i_wanna_stop_eating_until_im_pretty/
---
But Iāll never be pretty. I had more than I planned to eat today and after looking at hot girls on instagram i just feel hopeless. I might start a fast after dinner. And when I get to school Iām doing a liquid fast for the first three days.
I hate my body with a passion. Everythingās wrong about it and nothing is right. I just feel utterly trapped.
I think someone I work with might suspect I have an ed
/u/J0_f0_sh0 [5'2 | CW120 | -14 | GW115 | F21]
Created: Mon Aug 13 13:17:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9718nj/i_think_someone_i_work_with_might_suspect_i_have/
---
Possible tw:
I'm in the military and we get annual training on a bunch of shit one of them being SAPR. Sexual assault prevention and response. Well pretty much everyone in my command knows I made a report on someone and to my amazement they all dont blame me (they know he's a creep and no one likes him) and believe it happened (opposed to me making it up for attention).
During the training it was brought up that victims could develop eating disorders. And a few days after the training we had pt. I mentioned to one of my buddies that I lost 15 lbs by counting calories. He went on to try to lecture me on macros and that I'm losing my gains by not lifting as much and not getting enough protein. Then during pt he focused on teaching my proper deadlift form.
I think he suspects I have an ed and is trying to help, what do you think?
[Rant/Rave] Haven't left my house all summer because i dont want to be seen
/u/PurpleKatie [5'1 | 98lbs | 18.5 | Lost 54lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 13 13:16:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9718g8/havent_left_my_house_all_summer_because_i_dont/
---
I'm terrified of people seeing me and judging how fat I am. I've barely left the house all summer and whenever I do leave I have to work myself up to it for hours. I've had about 3-4 panic attacks everyday leading up to starting school again. I just hate the thought of being seen, I wish I was a formless blob. š
Sorry for the rant but I really needed to tell someone. Other than a holiday for a week with my family I've had no contact with anyone for 2 months, I even missed my best friends birthday party because I hated the idea of people looking at me, which I feel super shitty about.
Can anyone else relate here?
X
[Discussion] Sometimes I force myself to visualize my sexual assaults as a method to suppress my appetite.
/u/fieryanxiety [5'7" | CW 119 | BMI 19| HW 159 | GW 110]
Created: Mon Aug 13 12:57:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9712c3/sometimes_i_force_myself_to_visualize_my_sexual/
---
This is serious disclosure right here so please be gentle.. But from age 19-21 I was coerced and then eventually trapped in the sex trade by a man twice my age. He fed me opiates and I took them. Every day. It blotted out the pain from my childhood that I just couldn't face. I didn't think "addiction" was a real thing, but I found out the hard way that it definitely is. This made me completely dependent on him. Completely under his control. He used tactics like physical abuse, letting me go into withdrawal, intimidation and threats, leaving me completely alone in the house for days with no human contact. Fear kept me very submissive. Every month he sent my to NYC to "cat houses" (basically private informal brothels) and I would be forced to sleep with sometimes 10 men a day give or take. For a week or so at a time. I would cry and beg him not to make me go but it never worked. Also, to add to this horror, I am a lesbian..when I would return, the first thing he would do was search me and make sure I didn't keep a single dime. Checked my phone to make sure there were no new contacts and that I wasn't talking to anyone. Then he would ignore me for days. He would treat me like I disgusted him. It was Hell on earth and I wished for death every day. This cycle repeated for 2 years.
Fast forward, it's now 6 years after escaping that situation and I have serious PTSD as well as many problems directly related to that. And yet, I use these fucked up memories to fuel my ED. If I feel hungry, I go to that place. I picture those men.. And the things they did. I see it as if it's happening now. I feel the fear, shame, humiliation and the pain. And guess what? I'm not hungry anymore..
I just had to tell someone about this.. Because I could never bring myself to tell my fiancƩ or my friends. I've been doing this all day and I feel like I am the most disgusting person that ever lived.
Struggle with consuming a decent daily calorie count
/u/xoidontgiveashit
Created: Mon Aug 13 12:24:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/970sbt/struggle_with_consuming_a_decent_daily_calorie/
---
I have a slight obsession with food, which causes that I always feel conscious about my weight. I still struggle to eat over 1,000 calories a day though. It's like my mind has built up a mental block stopping me from eating much when I'm close to 700-900 or any food I know is high in calories. I can't even empty a bag of chips anymore. To be honest I'm barely ever hungry at all, 99% of the time I'd say it's just emotional cravings. My mom tries forcing me to eat more since she doesn't want me to reach an unhealthily low weight but it feels physically impossible to eat sometimes?? Anybody relate??
[Discussion] Starting treatment next month... super excited!
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1 | CW 200 | BMI 26.5 |WL: -170 | M]
Created: Mon Aug 13 12:22:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/970rgy/starting_treatment_next_month_super_excited/
---
I've struggled with cycles of binging and losing weight for a while, but have never been treated.
I met with the ED team at my university today and they said they will start treating me for my disordered views around eating/body image issues next month. I was worried that they were going to stop me from restricting my calories, but they are willing to pause us starting treatment until I get to my goal weight at the end of September. This is perfect for me... so just 6-7 more weeks till my goal weight and then I can try to eat some foods I like and maybe not binge for once... I can dream :)
[Other] Help.
/u/Derpy_Purple
Created: Mon Aug 13 12:18:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/970qbg/help/
---
If Iām 5ā7ā and weigh about 135 pounds, how long will it take to starve myself to death? Iāll let myself drink water, but thatās the only thing I will consume. Idk if this is against the rules but I just want to die and not eating is the only thing Iāll ever be good at. I want to die painfully because I deserve it. I donāt want to call anyone. I donāt want to go to a hospital. I just want someone to tell me how long it will take for me to finally die. Help.
[Other] Should... should someone tell them?
/u/KMH039
Created: Mon Aug 13 11:59:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/970k9m/should_should_someone_tell_them/
---
https://i.redd.it/vqbiyzguzuf11.jpg
[Help] Does anyone know of any low cal milk chocolate?
/u/littlepinky_
Created: Mon Aug 13 11:55:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/970j2k/does_anyone_know_of_any_low_cal_milk_chocolate/
---
We have low cal ice cream now but what I feel like we are missing is a good, low cal milk chocolate bcos letās face it- dark chocolate tastes like shit (or at least I think so anyway)
I have the biggest sweet tooth and chocolate is the only thing I canāt cut out
I have pants that are straight up lose on me now
/u/HulderVette
Created: Mon Aug 13 11:48:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/970h08/i_have_pants_that_are_straight_up_lose_on_me_now/
---
It feels really weird because I canāt see the difference by just looking at myself, but somehow my clothes donāt fit the same.
I really noticed it yesterday when I put on a pair of pants that used to fit me like a glove (if not a little big in the waist) and they were sagging on my hips. Not to the point of falling off, but to the point where I would have to hold them up if I didnāt want them to show my underwear.
My mom also commented on me looking really small, which really confused me. It shouldnāt feel so weird because I know that Iām the smallest Iāve been at my current height, but somehow itās still shocking.
Itās probably not unusual when you have food and body image issues, but damn if it didnāt surprise me anyways.
I am such a shitty person because of my ED
/u/ummjennyweregonnadie
Created: Mon Aug 13 11:28:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/970acl/i_am_such_a_shitty_person_because_of_my_ed/
---
I never lie except about my ED.
I am not lazy but i am so fatigued because of purging and starving.
I act strong but in reality i don't even have self control not to eat like a fucking pig.
I constantly make promises to myself that I'll stop but i never do.
I promise other people that I'll get better but i never do.
I am currently laying in bed with a mild fever and i want to cry so bad because i feel like shit for lying to my boyfriend about my ED for the last 3 months.
I thought I'd feel better if i start purging again. I don't. I hate myself so much. I don't deserve the love he gives me.
[Rant/Rave] I hate when other people cook for me
/u/shonamairead [5'6 | CW - 145lbs | GW - 120| -16lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 11:20:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9707u2/i_hate_when_other_people_cook_for_me/
---
My dad is making a traditional African dish which uses skin on chicken thighs and a shit ton of oil and rice and I want to cry ??? Like I canāt weigh anything out and itās so greasy and I want to cry thinking of all the unnecessary oil and calories
[Rant/Rave] Ugh I'm eating more than I thought
/u/Cactuseye [5'1.5| CW 156/7 | SW 162 | GW1 125 | 20f]
Created: Mon Aug 13 10:38:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96zudl/ugh_im_eating_more_than_i_thought/
---
I thought I was eating 800-1200, my 'safe' range of calories, But today I got to weigh out everything and shit. I'm definitely eating between 1200-1600 give or take. Which one, I'm still losing around a pound, pound and a half a week so that's something. But I don't think my "plateau" was a plateau but just slow loss. I feel like a failure for miscalculating so horribly, but I also know that I could in theory eat more here or there too.
Nice cream?
/u/Goodvibez722
Created: Mon Aug 13 10:34:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ztd1/nice_cream/
---
I made some nice cream w out a blender and tbh it didnāt have that creamy texture I imagined it would have.. anyways, how do you like your nice cream?
Why do I feel the need to be inconstant comparison/competition with best friend?
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Mon Aug 13 10:20:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96zp04/why_do_i_feel_the_need_to_be_inconstant/
---
I'm skinnier and much more active than my best friend, yet I am constantly triggered when she goes on fad diets/does anything active. Why do I feel the need to compare myself to her? I love my body and wouldn't want to be anyone but myself. Any mantra I can say to myself when negative thoughts come into my head?
I hit three goals and I had no idea until today
/u/blmatsuu [5'2 | BMI : 20 | CW : 111 | GW : 99 | -17]
Created: Mon Aug 13 10:15:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96zna9/i_hit_three_goals_and_i_had_no_idea_until_today/
---
Went to camhs (therapy in the UK if you donāt know lol) and they weighed me and holy shit I was 109 pounds with shoes and clothes and everything on? So being under 110 was a goal and I was hyped because I was close to my next goal, 105, and then I realised I didnāt even account for clothes and stuff, so I managed to figure out how much thatād weigh and Iām at 105!!!! So t h e n I decided to check out my new BMI and itās 19.3 which is under 20 which is another goal Iāve been trying to get for months lmao so Iām fucking hyped wtf, the ED gods must fucking love me lmao
Iāve not been using the scales at home for months because I donāt trust them so I thought I was either stuck at around 115 or had gained so this is a surprise and idk Iām happy as fuck and Iām gonna celebrate with a burger from McDonalds which Iāve not let myself have for months, Iāve earned it lmaoo. Probably gonna end up panicking and exercising for the rest of the day but Iām gonna treat myself aaAaaaAa
Has anyone gained extra fat after starting birth control?
/u/pinkskyvillain
Created: Mon Aug 13 10:02:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96zj75/has_anyone_gained_extra_fat_after_starting_birth/
---
So Iāve been on bc for 5 years now, and besides the other problems that it caused, I feel like I gained a lot of fat in my upper arms and back area! Iām 5ā4 and 110 lbs, and while I look thin all over my arms are fucking huge and definitely stand out on my petite frame!!
Iāve also been lifting weights for 4-5 years and no amount of back or arm exercises has helped these areas the same way squats and deadlifts have helped my legs and butt.
I donāt want to think this way or have body dysmorphia but I have very narrow hips and a very small head, so being underweight or borderline is the only weight that looks good on me, but I donāt want the health problems associated with being underweight. Itās annoying at 115 lbs that my legs chafe and I feel like my body type/frame is setting me up to be skinny!
I want to stop taking the pill and see if Iāll lose any fat in these areas. Has anyone started or stopped taking birth control and noticed an increase/loss of fat?
And has anyone had success slimming down their arms without going the lipo route? I feel like Iāve literally tried everything but I donāt like restricting too much because my butt is the first thing to shrink and I hate it!
Essential Daily Carry List
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 09:25:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96z7yr/essential_daily_carry_list/
---
What's everyone's essentials that they carry with them each day? I've been spending more time away from home since I now work 6 days a week 45+ minutes from my apartment, and it's tough not to give into the cravings for all the food I see around me. What do you always make sure you have in your bag for when tough times hit?
Most weight you've ever lost in a month?
/u/gossipgirlll
Created: Mon Aug 13 08:43:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96yvc5/most_weight_youve_ever_lost_in_a_month/
---
College starts again in mid September and I need motivation to lose some more pounds by then, I have 5 weeks left and will be active most of the day/only drinking water/eating fruit.
[Rant/Rave] I won such a big battle today...
/u/sadbirdie12
Created: Mon Aug 13 08:35:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96yt69/i_won_such_a_big_battle_today/
---
I walked past the discount bread section of the grocery store. It was overflowing, and still I bought NOTHING.
Stuck to my low calorie safe foods. Iām trying a 48 hour fast, didnāt even feel hungry or tempted.
Iām back..
/u/Goodvibez722
Created: Mon Aug 13 08:32:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ys23/im_back/
---
So my user was goodvibez72 but I guess Iām kinda recovered back and I never wanna be 68 lbs but I want to maintain 90.. so I feel the need to restrict and ughšI forgot the pass to my other account so iām using this one. I need help. I donāt wanna do this again and iām so stressed
[Discussion] Question about goal weight clothes. Hang on or let go?
/u/noneofyournonsense
Created: Mon Aug 13 08:10:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ylz5/question_about_goal_weight_clothes_hang_on_or_let/
---
So today I started on the arduous task of organizing my closet. I have A LOT of clothing, like a ridiculously unnecessary amount of clothing. I take up probably 90% of the walk in closet and my SO has a tiny rack for his work uniforms and nice shirts in the corner. I'm trying to thin out some of the things I don't wear to either donate or sell.
My excuse for having so much clothing has been that my weight fluctuates quite dramatically. Jean's vary in sizes 2-12 and tops vary from XS-L. I go from extended periods of binge eating and gaining excessive amounts of weight to fasting and living off coffee, diet pills, and diet coke. Currently I'm losing weight and wearing mostly mediums.
My question is do I hang onto those XS tops and size 2 pants in hopes that I will get back to my GW? Or do I acknowledge and accept that I don't need to be that thin again and get rid of them? My SO keeps telling me I'm perfect the way I am and I looked sick at my LW last year. Of course I don't believe that though, and all I see is fat when I look in the mirror.
I'm really struggling with this, so any advice would be appreciated!
[Rant/Rave] My Skinny Sister
/u/mobixx123
Created: Mon Aug 13 08:01:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96yj8s/my_skinny_sister/
---
My sister is pretty fucking skinny (165 or 5"5, 43 kg or 95 lbs)
The thing is that she hates being skinny and constantly talks about wanting to gain weight and recently bought some weird calorie bars.
She's always been very thin, and she says it's her metabolism, but tbh it drives me absolutely mental when skinny people say that.
I know for a fact that she does not eat a lot, even though she says she "eats junk all the time", which, to be fair, she does. Kind of.
Like, she snacks relatively often, and she has no issues with finishing a bag of chips herself, but when it comes to actual meals, she hardly eats because she has such a small appetite for actual food. She'll have a bowl of rice and some meat and she'll be completely filled up. Now that she's studying medicine, she's been forced to skip dinner multiple times too.
I also feel like some people might just be more susceptible to being addicted to food. When I was a child, I was always the one that went for the 3rd slice of birthday cake, whereas my sister (even at like 8) would have a couple bites then call it a day. Food is such a drug for me, and eating makes me so happy (which sucks because of my ED), but my sister says she feels indifferent about food. She likes comfort food, sure, but she doesn't feel HOOKED by them. She sees food as something she has to eat to prevent herself from losing weight, but it doesn't give her happiness or any particular feelings???
It's just unfair. Why can't I not be obsessed with food. Why can't I just stop eating when I'm full instead of stuffing my face
[Discussion] Iām just curious, who started fairly skinny and wants to get skinnier?
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 116 |UGW 105| F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 07:48:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96yfzv/im_just_curious_who_started_fairly_skinny_and/
---
TW (maybe) Ive been a size 0-2 my whole life but then the body dysmorphia took over and I feel huge despite empirical evidence that Iām now. I wonder who else has been like this?
[Help] Iām afraid of food.
/u/Lunnaris [5' | CW: 134,4 | UGW: 110,2 | 24F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 07:44:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96yexs/im_afraid_of_food/
---
Thatās all. Like... almost everything but coffee.
I used to love eating and now Iām too terrified of it. Full panic attacks.
Tell me Iām not the only one, please.
[Help] When will the wish happen
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Mon Aug 13 07:43:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96yemi/when_will_the_wish_happen/
---
So I went on vacation and the scale tells me I gained 4 pounds even though we walked a lot. However Iām sure this is just water weight thatād been gained. How long do I have to wait for the scale to stop plateauing at 120 and drop to something lower?
Have you tried oat fiber?
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Mon Aug 13 06:58:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96y2yi/have_you_tried_oat_fiber/
---
I was watching Oat Fiber on youtube and she always does these low calorie recipes and uses, obviously, oat fiber.
I canāt find it in my country, and i was thinking on ordering it online (but it would take like 3months to deliver because our post service is a fucking joke) so I wanted to know if you have had experience with it first.
[Help] How do I tell my sister I can't eat her portions?
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Mon Aug 13 06:54:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96y1xy/how_do_i_tell_my_sister_i_cant_eat_her_portions/
---
I'm at my sister's house right now. We're going on vacation soon, with my grandparents etc.
Problem is, it's always about food with them. I don't eat a lot at home, unless I'm binging. Not only because I restrict most of the time, but also because I can't digest big meals (acid reflux and a fucked up digestive system). Basically my sister and her husband eat a lot, and my grandparents and rest of the family too. They're all overweight, with me being the only normal weight one. Because of that they think I'm skinny and that I HAVE TO eat. It's fried foods and large plates of pasta every day, and I feel sick afterwards (not like throwing up, but I feel full and the food sitting on my stomach, and hiccups). I'm also uncomfortably bloated which I hate. But I can't leave the plate full when they put food in front of me. I can't keep eating like this. I go back home in September and I can't let myself keep gaining weight until then. I also can't workout because there's no privacy. What do I do? What can I say to my family to make them stop feeding me?
[Discussion] I Am An anorexic who works at McDonalds. AMA!
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine
Created: Mon Aug 13 06:41:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xyxz/i_am_an_anorexic_who_works_at_mcdonalds_ama/
---
Thought you itās might like to hear some secrets about McDās! Tips n tricks n all that fun stuff!
Ask away!
[Discussion] What is your oddly specific binge activity?
/u/markexclamationmark
Created: Mon Aug 13 06:33:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xx32/what_is_your_oddly_specific_binge_activity/
---
Or any other activity you associate with a specific ED activity.
If I get triggered into a binge I inevitably end up on NotAlwaysRight scrolling through customer service horror stories, and I have no idea why this chills my mind out or why it's as much of a craving as the food I'm shovelling into my mouth
[Discussion] Do you think itās justifiable to hate morbidly obese people?
/u/missyou0111
Created: Mon Aug 13 06:23:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xusv/do_you_think_its_justifiable_to_hate_morbidly/
---
[Rant/Rave] Iām back to being in control of my restriction and it feels euphoric.
/u/missyou0111
Created: Mon Aug 13 06:23:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xusj/im_back_to_being_in_control_of_my_restriction_and/
---
Back to consuming <600 calories a day. Some days just fasting. Feel cold all the time. I love it. I love feeling superior. I love feeling in control.
[Discussion] What are some of your common illogical thoughts?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine
Created: Mon Aug 13 06:15:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xsup/what_are_some_of_your_common_illogical_thoughts/
---
Last night we had a party and there was some Oreo scoop cake left in the fridge.
With it being just 4 days before my prediction period time (even though I only get like 2/year lol), and me being a sweet tooth fiend, I ate some of the cake.
It was probably like 250-300 calories.
So I felt mega guilty afterward and said to compensate, I wouldnāt be eating an Enlightened ice cream later.
For some reason, in my mind, eating a 360 cal enlightened wonāt make me gain, but eating a 250-300 piece of cake instead will(?)
That doesnāt even make sense.
Goodness gravy, this damn disease is too much sometimes.
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! August 13, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 13 06:14:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xsli/weekly_stats_update_august_13_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for August 13, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 13, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 13 06:14:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xsk9/daily_food_diary_august_13_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 13, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Go-to restaurant/fast food orders?
/u/aoty2015vulnicura
Created: Mon Aug 13 06:03:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xq1r/goto_restaurantfast_food_orders/
---
so my house is undergoing repairs at the moment and I've been in hotels for a few weeks, probably will be a few more. I'm not gaining like crazy or anything, but I'm finding it hard to stick to my regular sugar, sodium, carb and fat intake levels since I can't cook at home and basically have to buy ready-made meals all the time. What are your favorite things to order when you're out, and why? It doesn't even have to be low-calorie (although that helps š), just need some general guidance so I'm not feeling so bad all the time about what I've been eating lately! if you have any sort of healthier, fresher recommendations that would be cool too, I'm open to anything though, thought this might be a fun topic!
Officially two weeks purge-free after a wake-up call!
/u/sugafreedreams [M17 / 5'11" š³ļøāš HW: 206 / CW: 119 š³ļøāš BMI 28.7 ā 16.5]
Created: Mon Aug 13 05:54:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xo1c/officially_two_weeks_purgefree_after_a_wakeup_call/
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Two weeks ago today a piece of my tooth chipped off as I was biting my fingernails post-purge, here's the thread I made about it: [https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/933ff6/a\_piece\_of\_my\_tooth\_chipped\_off\_after\_purging\_i/](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/933ff6/a_piece_of_my_tooth_chipped_off_after_purging_i/)
I'm now proud to say that I haven't purged a single time since I made that post! This is a huge milestone for me, as this is the first time in 7 months that I've went for more than a single day at a time without purging. I also went to get the chipped tooth filled in at the dentist, luckily it was only a tiny piece that didn't take much time to fix. The dentist didn't even ask me about how it happened, he just made a comment about how these things happen sometimes and filled in the missing piece without making a big deal out of it. I asked him about how my enamel is doing and to check for cavities, my enamel is still miraculously perfectly fine and somehow there are no cavities anywhere. Dental care is becoming paid for me next month when I turn 18, so I was really lucky for this to happen to me now and not in a month from now.
It wouldn't be realistic to say that I'm never going to purge again, but for the first time ever I truly have the motivation to at least fight this awful self-destructive habit. Not doing it daily is still better than doing it every day, and not doing it weekly is better than doing it every week.
[Rant/Rave] Panicking at work
/u/rosecoloredidiot [21F | CW: 64kg BMI: 24.5 | GW: 45kg ]
Created: Mon Aug 13 05:46:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xmer/panicking_at_work/
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Seriously, why am I this way?
I stopped to McDonald's at work to get some Coke Zero for lunch, because I love a good healthy meal. However, after drinking it I noticed that they didn't mark the cup. My problem is that I sincerely cannot tell the difference between normal Coke and Coke zero, so now I'm casually having a panic attack at work because I may have drank 208 calories worth of soda. This is so fucking stupid.
[Discussion] Whatās the fastest youāve lost?
/u/bugkid [5'8" | CW: 169.2 lbs | BMI 25.7 | -9.8 lbs | 18F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 05:42:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xlls/whats_the_fastest_youve_lost/
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I have been in a restrict binge cycle since middle school and my weight got up to 178 lbs (Iām 18). I just started restricting again and lost 10 pounds in a week with light exercise and eating approx 500 calories a day... I feel like something isnāt right...
When you're trying to binge but your wallet comes thru
/u/hammerprice [5'11"| obese | -1kg | F | inbox is always open to talk!]
Created: Mon Aug 13 05:17:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xgdy/when_youre_trying_to_binge_but_your_wallet_comes/
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Planned to buy fast food tonight from my favourite place. Had an acceptable, non-binge order in mind. Then ordered twice as much at the last minute because... you know... I can't control myself? But **kaching** turns out I didn't actually have enough cash so I took off the extra food without second thought š Thank you, Being Broke, you finally came thru for me
Tomorrow, I will fast for as long as I can (24 hours max). Never fasted before - wish me luck!
/u/PandiThrowaway1 [5'2" | CW 129 | GW 105 | -15 lb | F(22)]
Created: Mon Aug 13 05:07:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xeeg/tomorrow_i_will_fast_for_as_long_as_i_can_24/
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I just had some amazing food with my boyfriend and enjoyed every single moment of it, but now I feel so bloated. I don't hate myself for eating, exactly.. still staying in range of my daily cal (\~1000), but I just feel so BLOATED now.
Tomorrow, I'm going to try to fast for as long as possible (just tomorrow, then I'll eat 'normally' the day after), with a Powerade Zero on hand. It will be my first time actually fasting, so it'll be interesting to see how this goes...
[Rant/Rave] i finally bought a proper scale...
/u/kittencafe
Created: Mon Aug 13 04:45:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96xa0m/i_finally_bought_a_proper_scale/
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...i busted ā¬30 on it, carried it all the way home (heavy af), managed to sneak it upstairs past my parents, tried to use it the next day AND IT DIDN'T EVEN WORK. it can turn on and display 00, but once i actually step on it it just stays at 00 for a few seconds and turns off. i tried replacing the battery, but no change.
to top it off, the cashier didn't give me a reciept. i want to try and return/exchange it but i don't know how, plus what will everyone think of the awkward 16 y/o girl trying to return a scale? it'll be so obvious i have an ed. and i can't ask my mom or anyone to help me return it. this sucks :(
i hate that i feel like i've recovered from this and will look at myself and cry
/u/nihilistictablelamp [5"6 | 105| 16.9|]
Created: Mon Aug 13 04:14:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96x44q/i_hate_that_i_feel_like_ive_recovered_from_this/
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i'm underweight but god i hate this. what i hate the most is knowing that i'm not fat, but that i want to just become *smaller*
Not knowing calorie counts
/u/narkreturn
Created: Mon Aug 13 04:04:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96x2cb/not_knowing_calorie_counts/
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Not knowing the calorie counts in food makes me freak out. I just end up over estimating and feeling like I fucked up my diet. Ugh. Is anyone else like this ??!
āsheās anorexic as fuckā
/u/chzkayla
Created: Mon Aug 13 03:58:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96x18g/shes_anorexic_as_fuck/
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literally, somebody just said that about me, in front of me. āsheās anorexic as fuckā and it wasnāt like indoor voice. it was loud, and everybody could heard him. everybody. we were walking out of the lecture theatre, imagine how many fucking hundred people are walking out, and that motherfucker just screamed āsheās anorexic as fuckā
no albert. iām not anorexic, i eat. i donāt starve myself for days on end(or at least no longer) i have what they call eating disorder not otherwise specified. and yes, that is something, bulimia is something as well. they are all eating disorders. yes itās disorders with a S. there are many types of eating disorders, educate yourself with it first.
not everybody is fucking blessed enough to be happy the way they look, and trust me when i say, i wish i will go for lunch with you. trust me. trust me when i say i want go for typical coke instead of coke zero again. trust me when i say i want to eat 2 or more meals a day, and not panic. trust me when i say i want to see food as food and not numbers. trust me i want to recover.
anorexic/eating disorder is not something people can just snap out of, you made fun of skinny girls, lots of them, you talk about how someone in your previous college is skin and bones, and how disgusting she looks. you talk about anorexia as if it is just something people do to lose weight. ITS FUCKING NOT. itās a fucking mental health, like how when you tore your ligament you go to the doctor for it, i go to the doctor for my illness too. itās not fucking cool to talk about anorexia or how someone is anorexic just because idk they donāt want to eat, or is skinny.
in my case, yes albert, you are right. i struggle with an eating disorder, i have yet to tell anyone about it, and no i do not appreciate being called out this way. all i did was to not go to lunch with you, why do you have to call me out in front of every single person in the walkway. i fucking hate you, and i donāt even know how am i going to talk to you anymore, it was one thing talking about eating disorder, but to speak loudly about how i am anorexic as fuck. is a whole new level. you make me feel so uncomfortable, and on my way back, all i thought about was how āanorexicā i look to people. i fucking hate you and this eating disorder. i hope a pig will fuck both of you.
[Help] Randomly gained 5 pounds
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Mon Aug 13 03:54:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96x0j6/randomly_gained_5_pounds/
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Does this happen to anyone? My eating patterns have stayed the same, and if I did eat more I would over exercise to compensate. After my half marathon last week (and week of normal eating with one cheat meal of peanut butter and chocolate) Iāve gained 5 pounds! Itās been a week now but I still feel bloated and gross. Help :(
[Rant/Rave] Competitive mom?
/u/ilonacamille
Created: Mon Aug 13 03:41:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96wy6l/competitive_mom/
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Idk if Iām just paranoid or actually on to something but I think my mom wants me to be fatter than her.
*She does encourage me to diet but whenever I do, she does too. So if see a nutrionist or weight loss centre sheāll join me and gloat every time she has lost more weight than me.
*Sheāll offer to buy junkfood and when she gets back she didnāt get any for herself and eats a salad instead. If I knew declining was an option I wouldāve gone for the salad too but she gets mad when I reject āherā food or meals for the day.
*If I buy something thatās too small sheāll try it on in front of me, usually fits. I always ask her if she wants to keep it but sheāll reject it saying it isnāt her style.
*She gets mad when she takes a 2nd helping and I decline one.
*When weāre at the gym she always has to one up me. If I put my speed at 9.0 sheāll put hers at 10. Iāve tried sneakily changing my speed to 11 but then sheāll look over to my machine and put hers on 12. Also in that category, sheāll hop on the machine sooner and wait until I complete my 10minutes (we have a schedule), sometimes sheāll keep going just to get more calories burned than me.
Itās like she doesnāt want a fat daughter but is also sabotaging me so I canāt be slimmer than her. Does anyone else have to deal with this? Also if you read all of that youāre amazing.
[Rant/Rave] Conflicti
/u/uh-oh-pathetic-oh
Created: Mon Aug 13 03:27:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96wvu8/conflicti/
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I don't know what it is, but when I hit my low and am really depressed and upset, I always want to fast or starve, but I also want to binge and purge at the same time. I'll start fasting, but then I hate myself for doing it, so I eat, but then I regret that, so I purge, and it's like a repetitive cycle all day long. I love the feeling of starving, but I love the feeling of purging. It's just a major conflict I have and was wondering if anyone could relate?
I wish I could just be normal
/u/multicolour-squirrel [5'8 |147lbs|-18lbs|GW:132|25F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 03:24:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96wva5/i_wish_i_could_just_be_normal/
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I am so jealous of people who can just eat and not worry about the calories and gaining weight and all that stuff. My partner is always ordering a pizza or burgers or whatever and I am so envious of his ability to eat and just not worry. I started reading /r/fasting and it has done nothing but send me into a spiral of binging and intense restricting and now I haven't pooped in about five days and feel even more fat and bloated and the scale has gone up š¢ I just can't do it
then my friend who I am a bridesmaid for is celebrating losing 10kg since November and doesn't even exercise and always eats out and I feel so shit for hoping after the wedding she just puts the weight back on again. I am so shit
[Help] Go to Low Calorie at Home Flu Cures
/u/MissMichuMoo [1.68m | 54.7kg | 19.4 | GW: 53kg | F26:cat_blep:]
Created: Mon Aug 13 02:30:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96wm0o/go_to_low_calorie_at_home_flu_cures/
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I feel some flu coming on and I know that OTC medicine have a butt load of sugar in it.
What are your low calorie at home flu cures?
I tend to binge when I'm sick so I am really needing something that will sort me out ASAP.
AE been traumatized by walden farms?
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Mon Aug 13 02:24:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96wl1m/ae_been_traumatized_by_walden_farms/
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I received my first walden farms product today. Yes, I know about the reviews, but the sweet cream coffee creamer wasn't sooo bad and I need milk in my tea and I count it at 10 calories (way underestimating but it's the only thing that gives me joy in life), so I thought I'd give it a try.
First, when I shook the bottle, the cap came lose and I spent all morning cleaning my fucking kitchen. Then I tried some of the cream.
Guys. It's been hours and I'm still dying. I can't get the horrible taste off my tongue, I'm sipping diet sodas and chewing gum and I'm so nauseaus, ew!! THis has put me off food for sure, lol.
I thought I would give in another go in actual coffee in the next few days to not be so wasteful, but damn, even trying it again makes me gag.
Anyone else ever been this traumatized by walden farms lol? :D
[Discussion] DAE have disordered (eating) parents and realize āoh it all makes so much sense nowā?
/u/lupoverde
Created: Mon Aug 13 02:00:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96wgz4/dae_have_disordered_eating_parents_and_realize_oh/
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My mother was obese for all her life and probably developed something like an eating disorder a few years ago and lost LOADS of weight. The way she talks about food/weight is exactly how a disordered person does e.g. āI ate barely nothing yesterday and still gained 2 pounds!!ā
I hate hearing it because itās triggering AF but yeah obviously itās genetic
[Rant/Rave] Broke my streak in MFP š
/u/kernalmustache [169cm ā | CW 100lbs | BMI 15.9 | SW 130lbs šø]
Created: Mon Aug 13 01:52:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96wfg7/broke_my_streak_in_mfp/
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I had like a 500+ day streak in MFP but I didn't eat anything yesterday because I have insomnia and went to sleep at like 6 am then woke up around 9 pm and I just realized that means I broke my streak! š why did I have to wait until 2 am to eat? I know I must have been hungry even if my stomach wasn't rumbling yet :(
[Rant/Rave] I Hate How my Mom Thinks That Wanting to Be 95 Pounds at my Height (5'0) is Unhealthy
/u/KatNoGoMeow
Created: Mon Aug 13 01:10:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96w8bw/i_hate_how_my_mom_thinks_that_wanting_to_be_95/
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I'm on mobile and not to sure how to add my own personalized flair. I am 5'0 and currently 107 pounds.
A little back story before I go into more detail ... (TDLR at bottom)
I am a 22 year old female and over the period of a year I went from my highest weight (138 pounds) to what I am currently.
I went on vacation a couple of weeks ago and everyone kept telling me that I looked so skinny. In my eyes I'm still not--I still have flab on my stomach and I have a feeling it would not be there if I get to 95 pounds. Also the people who were saying that I was skinny were either overweight or obese.
Anywayyyyy I tell my mom that my goal weight is 95 and she freaks out. I try to explain to her that at my height it would still be a healthy weight...but she still kept telling to just "tone up" and not to lose anymore weight.
Urgh I don't know why I found this so frustrating but I thought I would just share this little rant thing with everyone.
TDLR: Mom thinks 95 pounds is an unhealthy weight for me even when would not be and for some reason it bugged me
u dont need laxatives if ur lactose intolerant ! just drink a glass of milk after every meal š¤£
/u/killerbrocco
Created: Mon Aug 13 01:07:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96w7tp/u_dont_need_laxatives_if_ur_lactose_intolerant/
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Kind of sucked when I learned I was lactose intolerant but Iām actually quite glad about it now because it also makes it easier to say no to disgusting cheesy foods or that yogurt cup I donāt need when I want to.
[Goal] clothes weigh more than i thought they did
/u/pugsaremydrugs [Height 5'8" | CW 114 | BMI 17.3 | Weight Lost 3 | Gender Male]
Created: Mon Aug 13 01:07:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96w7nk/clothes_weigh_more_than_i_thought_they_did/
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My gw for a long while has been 108lbs, but whenever I stepped onto the scale I would always see that I plateaued at 110lbs.
Of course I'm not a moron, and I made a habit of emptying my pockets and not holding onto the counter while weighing, but I always felt uncomfortable not wearing clothes while doing it so that's never been done before.
Now that I've hit my goal I'll give it about a week before I hate myself again and want to become 105lbs :::))))).
[Rant/Rave] So itās true... skinny people really just donāt eat!
/u/lupoverde
Created: Mon Aug 13 00:59:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96w68i/so_its_true_skinny_people_really_just_dont_eat/
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This is kinda just a splurge and not really anything particularly important or whatever,.
But yeah, so you see all these skinny people going around like āoh yeah I eat so much I just have a high metabolismā or āI eat pizza for every mealā or whatever BULLSHIT, and I believed it for so long, and thought that I was just destined to be a fat person (it doesnāt help that everyone in my family is fat too). Then I found out that a difference in metabolism is basically bullshit, and I got even MORE confused.
I had an ED a few years ago and recently relapsed (actually it feels great to be losing weight again).
I started dating this guy whoās really skinny, and yesterday we hung out and when it got to around 8pm I said ādo you feel like eating dinner soon?ā He was like ānah Iām not hungry yetā. I also asked what he ate for lunch and he said like āoh just a basic sandwichā... so obviously he hadnāt eaten much. It got to around 10pm, we went out for dinner, and when food arrived I was like āholy shit this is way too much food, I canāt eat all thisā was probably like 2000 cals (Chinese food, noodles & deep fried tofu). So I had a small amount and asked to take the rest home. I watched him eat, and he also had a very small amount and was like āwow Iām full!!ā
Basically it feels pretty good to see a skinny guy in front of me also eat barely anything. It just proves to me that skinny people ARE skinny because they donāt eat much. I always knew CICO but from stories it always sounded like there was this huge secret as to why skinny people are the way they are.... nope!
I also feel like skinny people who arenāt disordered just donāt have the same lust for food like I do... like, I know this guy doesnāt really bother with cooking much because he doesnāt enjoy it, and when I stay over I always skip breakfast and heās happy to skip it too. Like, it doesnāt bother him at all?? Itās kinda weird to me that people can just so nonchalantly skip meals/not eat and NOT be disordered. But yeah, it happens, and I guess thatās why they are the way they are!? Man, I wish I could not be obsessed with food aha
[Discussion] Most LBS per month lost?
/u/sewnp [5ā6ā and sad as hell babey]
Created: Mon Aug 13 00:49:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96w4ge/most_lbs_per_month_lost/
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Iām curious to see if everyoneās monthly weight loss is consistent with my theory. That theory is that we gain and lose weight a lot faster than we should and itās usually around a similar amount.
So if you could, please and thank you, reply to this post with how much youāve personally noticed you lost in a month! It can be small or large, Iām just trying to see if thereās a pattern. Iāll go first!
sewnp: -20
(Use kg if thatās easier for you!)
[Discussion] Did r/fatlogic contribute to anyone else developing an ED?
/u/helpthrowaway1204
Created: Mon Aug 13 00:32:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96w19a/did_rfatlogic_contribute_to_anyone_else/
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I found that r/fatlogic contributed to my ED far more an any ProED forum anywhere, wondering if anyone else experienced similar?
Iām afraid of gaining it back (again)
/u/stickbuggy [6'1" | 180lb | 22.6 (new) | -70lb | F]
Created: Mon Aug 13 00:07:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96vwjl/im_afraid_of_gaining_it_back_again/
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For context, Iāve struggled with binging tendencies and restrictive tendencies for the past 5 ish years.
I lost a lot of weight last year. From June-> October, I lost maybe 40 lb. I was much thinner, and I was actually much happier with my body and my life in general. I worried about my body constantly, and I was in a restrictive episode, so I know I wasnāt healthy, but I was closer to my goals than I had been in years. I was losing weight consistently and it was making me really happy.
And then, suddenly, some switch just flipped in my brain. I switched from 1200 cal a day (a significant deficit for my height), to 3000, even 4000, cal a day. I was binging for no reason. I would just come home from school and binge for no reason, other than I could. I spent hundreds of dollars on sweets and fast food to binge on. I put on all of the weight that I had lost, and then some. I gained back nearly to my HW. I went from a healthy weight to nearly obese. I didnāt have any significant stressor in my life, nor any other reason to binge. I just had to eat.
And now that Iām losing again (down nearly 30 lb since may, woohoo!), Iām afraid that Iāll just go through the cycle again. Iām afraid that Iāll once again enter that hazy mess of a brain space where I just eat and eat and eat, with little disregard for what Iām actually doing to myself. I donāt know what triggered me to switch from restricting to binging, and Iām absolutely terrified. I feel like I canāt control myself if I let myself eat enough. Iām too scared to even eat at maintenance, even though I logically know that I wonāt gain weight. I just really donāt know how to get over this fear of gaining it all back. Itās really terrifying. :(
24/7 feel like shit
/u/byelittlebirdy
Created: Sun Aug 12 23:55:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96vu6j/247_feel_like_shit/
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Feel like shit when you starve
Feel like shit when you binge
Feel like shit when you purge
Feel like shit when you eat 3 well balanced healthy meals a day
The only time I donāt feel like shit is when Iām asleep - and Iām not really any good at that either.
Fuck my life.
My Eating Disorder Story
/u/courtneyjinx
Created: Sun Aug 12 23:39:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96vrax/my_eating_disorder_story/
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https://youtu.be/D3Pjj09RC2k
My ridiculous issue with Riverdale
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Sun Aug 12 23:11:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96vlvq/my_ridiculous_issue_with_riverdale/
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It's the same issue I had with the Gilmore Girls. These girls are constant eating fries, burgers drinking milkshakes (I would kill for a milkshake and whipped cream right now) and look absolutely amazing. Josie is like ultimate goals and 'loves cheesy fries'
I know it's a show, but at least in Gossip Girl we knew Serena didn't eat bread and Blair was a recovering bulimic.
Turned 23 this week. Not off to a good start
/u/IDontLikeLollipops
Created: Sun Aug 12 22:52:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96vhyz/turned_23_this_week_not_off_to_a_good_start/
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Ugh. Let's start off with I love my friends. They're wonderful people who care deeply about me even though we met like 3 months ago, and everyone is starting to leave because we're just here on an internship. Which makes me feel even shittier about my shittiness.
My bulemic bestie, who knew about me and was wonderful to talk to when I really needed someone left last week. Then another bestie who understood the ridiculous drama I'm going through with my boyfriend/fiance/ex left on Friday, so I've been struggling there too.
I went to the fitness guy at work on Monday. 21% body fat. "Ideal" or "athlete" lol. Talked to him about intending to tone up a bit and he went on a rant about what bf% you lose your period at. Then he told me I should be eating 2000-2200 Cal/day for maintenance. Lol. It's more like 1600 you liar.
Then I've been eating a lot recently. I've been eating at maintenance for like 4 days and I feel like a fucking whale.
I turned 23 on Thursday, and Wednesday night I just felt so shitty. I "binged" (I don't think it could be considered actual binging, but as a primarily Ana girl, it felt like it), then I purged because I wasn't okay with eating at maintenance. I've only purged a few times, and this was def the best yet. But then I didn't feel much better after. I still felt like a fat fucking whale and wanted to get rid of more. But I keep fucking eating because my stupid friends and family make me feel so cared about that I feel like I need to take care of myself specifically for them. It works pretty well because my FWB and I hang out most of the time, and he means a lot to me. I hate disappointing him.
After my fitness appointment, I told my FWB about my body comp results (he knows about my eating issues, and he's generally really sweet, even though he really doesn't know what to do with the information) and whatever, and he told me he thought he was similar (I know that men have lower bf% than women, but it still bothered me because of how he talks about himself). Then this morning he told me this morning how fucking fat he felt while we were... not entirely clothed.
Than we had a good day, are good brunch, drank quite a bit, chilled like pros. But then he decided to play some sad music, and my body decided to cry. Then I collected myself, but he kept playing sad music and I just died. I sobbed in his bathroom, he noticed and came in and gave me hugs until I felt better.
Then we get to the bar, and it's really fun, but one of my friends snaps me to make sure I'm okay, and I'm not, so I go to cry in the bathroom a couple more times because she's so nice and totally understands my triggers, even though she doesn't know about my reactions.
So now I just feel like shit. My friends are wonderful, and they don't understand, and everything in my life is falling apart, but I'm trying so fucking hard for them. They are so worth maintenance for, but we're all leaving on this weekend and I'm terrified of letting them down.
Just needed to vent. Thank you for listening, sorry if it doesn't make sense.
fave slow eat foods?
/u/cortizonegnome [5'3" | 109 | 19.66 | GW 94 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 22:33:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96vdw1/fave_slow_eat_foods/
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Iāve just discovered that beef jerky, despite its hefty calories per serving, is great for slowwwwly eating bc itās flavorful and tough to chew. never wouekbe grabbed it normally but the only other thing this airport mart is selling is sugary candy and I canāt handle the blood sugar spikesš¤·āāļø
can you develop eating disorders from grief? cw death of family member
/u/hedgehogandthistle
Created: Sun Aug 12 22:22:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96vbnb/can_you_develop_eating_disorders_from_grief_cw/
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I have struggled with eating a lot over the past few years - mainly because of anxiety surrounding food/chronic nausea and fatigue.
My grandfather died last week and I've haven't eaten a single full meal since it happened. I was already eating significantly less than usual bc of stress but now I am eating maybe half a meal over the course of a full day. I don't know if this counts as an eating disorder since I'm still eating some food and not purging, but I have found myself deliberately avoiding food and lying about my food consumption/hunger levels on an almost daily basis. I'm not sure what to do, I can't talk to anyone about it because thinking about anything to do with my grandpa makes me feel sick and start crying.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling guilty
/u/heyyyitstrish
Created: Sun Aug 12 22:18:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96vapl/feeling_guilty/
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I have been heavily redistricting and fasting and the weight is coming off. I love the feeling when I weigh myself in the morning. I went to the gym and had an amazing workout. I was feeling hungry which is weird, I haven't felt hungry in awhile and I ate some mango. I know that it won't make me gain weight but I still feel so guilty. I am terrified that I will lose self control and binge whenever I eat anything. I hate this feeling but I know I have no other option.
My best friend and I
/u/killerbrocco
Created: Sun Aug 12 22:10:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96v91f/my_best_friend_and_i/
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Okay so for the past 10 years Iāve been dealing with an ED on and off.
In recent years, Iāve made a friend whoās become my best friend. I spend every day with her and she knows about my struggle with ED. Sheās told me sheās struggled the same for quite some time too. Iāve noticed lately that we have the same unhealthy eating habits. Weāve been talking to each other like weāre getting better about ourselves but when I thought about it today...me and her havenāt eaten in days. We binge together a lot and starve together. I see it, Iām sure she sees it but whenever we talk about food, weāre both lying to each otherās faces and we know it? I donāt like her doing this shit to herself but I feel like I canāt say anything because Iād be a hypocrite:/ if I tell her to stop, Iād have to and youād understand if I say that I really cannot fucking do that right now.
My throat hurts from purging
/u/apfrun
Created: Sun Aug 12 22:06:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96v7xy/my_throat_hurts_from_purging/
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I don't know whats wrong with me but every time I ate anything today I threw it up. I had dinner and even thought okay I don't want to and don't need to purge, but I did it anyway.
My throat hurts so bad.
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else think they have a beautiful face but they're just fat? Plus other food rants
/u/EDtwED
Created: Sun Aug 12 22:01:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96v6ut/does_anyone_else_think_they_have_a_beautiful_face/
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I've been told by my family that, and I've used to think I was ugly (I had bad self esteem issues about my nose from 7 up until 18 to the point where I'd avoid going out and wouldn't wear my glasses because of it : now I've actually realized how nice the side profile of my nose is) until now : I don't think my face is ugly but my fat is ugly. Once I lose weight I think I'll be beautiful and gorgeous, all that's holding me back is my weight.
Today I had a set limit of calories to eat and then I went over it, but still within my BMR range but I've been so bad this week :( I've always went over my limit and I feel like shit.
I can't have any willpower. I was going to just have yogurt for breakfast but then I thought "I might as well find a way to eat this kale, so why not a smoothie?"
Yes, it's still healthy, but it was around 400 calories over what I would've ate (yogurt, banana, milk, spinach and kale plus frozen fruit)
Then I ate fucking bread and granola too.
I have no self control.
low cal. sweet treat ideas? In need some new suggestions!
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Sun Aug 12 21:33:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96v0bg/low_cal_sweet_treat_ideas_in_need_some_new/
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Hey guys, at night I always like to have a sweet treat after dinner. I usually save all my calories for OMAD OR will only have under 200 though out the day...mostly milk for coffee and fruit or oatmeal if I cant make it. Try to keep it at 100.
Anywayyyyy. I have been adding in a legit treat with my meal plan and reach around 1,000. I want to start cutting back to 800cals again to lose more. I have been at this deficient before and I feel the best there. I just am looking for treats under 150cals give or take. I am a sucker for chocolate stuff but really ANYTHING is much appreciated!
[Rant/Rave] The dreaded āstarvation modeā
/u/justoliverflynn
Created: Sun Aug 12 21:31:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96v02k/the_dreaded_starvation_mode/
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So, I went home for my birthday and my mother, of course, brought up how good I look since Iāve dropped five pounds. Thanks mom. She then started lecturing me on how to appropriately lose weight and how āstarvation modeā will hinder my goals. Like shut up. Literally, she is basically a doctor and she canāt accept the research that shows itās not true and all I want to do is shove [this fucking article ](https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/starvation-mode/) in her face and be like āoh, will it?? How do you think I lost the 5???ā
[Help] what apps do you guys use??
/u/fluffer_
Created: Sun Aug 12 21:09:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96uuqy/what_apps_do_you_guys_use/
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[Help] How do you, personally, deal with confrontational parents?.
/u/MyBunnyisMean
Created: Sun Aug 12 21:03:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96utgd/how_do_you_personally_deal_with_confrontational/
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Sooo, weāre back here again. My parents are visibly being more snappy at me without me even doing anything to upset them. Itās been two weeks since I stopped eating my momās food and making my own 100% of the time again, so to them, Iām basically not eating. Theyāre too busy to ever see what Iām actually eating so theyāre assuming Iām just not. I just got confronted by my dad yelling at me and telling me how ugly Iām getting and how they can tell Iām starving myself again. FUCK. I didnāt do anything to them, I donāt get why he had to yell at me all of a sudden. I was also not lazy or anything, I just finished doing random chores around the house just because. I responded back asking him why he had to yell at me and not talk to me like a person. Then he just yelled back saying how Iām starving myself because of āthat guyā (heās talking about my ex). Like??? Wtf. That came out of nowhere. Like everyone around here knows not to mention anything about it because it just brings me down and he outright accuses me of starving myself for my ex?. As if he gave me the E.D I, alone, developed at 12????. Not only did that make me want to cry about it afterwards, I felt like he had no right of accusing someone who never even did anything nor are we together anymore. It pissed me off.
Other than that, my mom started threatening to leave my puppy outside if I donāt start eating her food again š. I donāt know why she does this. I feel like a huge baby complaining about this but man, I donāt know what else to do. Her food is delicious but itās too calorie-dense for me and itāll throw off all the effort Iāve done.
This is the third or fourth time Iāve heavily restricted and I still donāt get how they donāt know that calling me ugly, twig, āyour face looks ugly and your teeth are protrudingā, REALLY doesnāt help. Their way of dealing with my E.D has always been quite argumentative and plain terrible. I just wish theyād talk to me like a human being and not some monster thatās trying to hurt them.
Im lonely and want someone to chat sometimes about life and Food
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Sun Aug 12 20:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96uhbc/im_lonely_and_want_someone_to_chat_sometimes/
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I dont want to ask tips on how to ED or anything like that, I just want to chat with someone that faces the same problems as I do since I have no friends. We can chat on reddit, instagram (ID: skinnikki) or LINE (ID: franciskiwi) :)
[Rant/Rave] "It'S NoT bEtteR For yOu YoU KnOw"
/u/markexclamationmark
Created: Sun Aug 12 20:10:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ugy1/its_not_better_for_you_you_know/
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You know how you have that food that you love so much it is worth the calories? And when it is out of stock/is eaten by someone else/is incorrectly prepared it's the worst feeling? Well:
My friend's partner opened a new cafe so we all go to check it out and get a caffeine fix. We place our orders and I'm already on edge because one of the group who is basically a tiny fairy-looking girl, orders black coffee, while my fat-ass gets a cappuccino with skim milk (what can i say, frothy milk is my vice). Friend's partner goes "aw man! Who ordered skim milk??" (admittedly they were fairly close to closing and skim milk means heating a new batch). I say "ahh that was me haha" and he goes "it's not better for you you know!"
Ugh.
Firstly, I genuinely prefer skim milk. It's what I grew up drinking, so full-fat tastes greasy and heavy to me. Secondly, the difference in healthiness between full-fat/skim milk is negligible. Skim milk even has more protein per volume. The main difference is the amount of fat, and I'm sure as hell not going to drop 150+ cals on a drink when I can have the same thing for <100. Thirdly, lower fat milk is much easier to froth when making coffee, enhancing my coffee experience. And LASTLY... Just.. Don't shame my coffee choice?
It's the same thing with diet coke. You choose it and people automatically think you must be on a health kick.
He meant it all in good fun as we are friends (ish), and made it with skim milk anyway, but guess what..
It wasn't even fucking frothy.
Eating dairy to feel full (lactose intolerant)
/u/Iamveryspiteful
Created: Sun Aug 12 19:58:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ue0r/eating_dairy_to_feel_full_lactose_intolerant/
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Does anyone else does this? I would eat a yogurt bar or a 200ml carton of milk to intentionally upset my stomach to get the feeling of being "full."
[Discussion] DAE struggle to not binge in the evening?
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 116 |UGW 105| F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 19:54:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ucw6/dae_struggle_to_not_binge_in_the_evening/
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Like in the morning and afternoon Iām fine, but when evening comes I start getting antsy and might binge.
[Goal] New plan...
/u/noxadvena
Created: Sun Aug 12 19:36:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96u8o5/new_plan/
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Iāve set MFP to my BMR (should probably do TDEE but thatās a bit daunting currently and Iām very sedentary anyway)
So I read that to lose one kilo, itās 7700 calories. So a daily defecit of 1100 - well thatās my new daily aim. As long as I have 1100 leftover in the green after all food and exercise I should be able to lose a kilo a week in theory. Knowing me Iāll be well over 1100 with exercise and restricting well but weāll see... Iām just going to try this for a week and see the results.
I need to burn 30 more calories today to get into green so Iām going to look up some quick workouts to do.
My roommates inspire me to be thinner
/u/ImpishImp
Created: Sun Aug 12 19:27:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96u6j5/my_roommates_inspire_me_to_be_thinner/
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My roommate and his girlfriend eat terribly. He stays super thin somehow but she is fat and she literally just lays in bed all day. They make the same four meals for dinner on rotation and its fucking gross. Lasagna (2 fucking pans!!), spaghetti, cheesesteak sandwiches, and pork chops. They always offer some to me and my husband and we say no thanks politely every time. Then we awkwardly make a small salad as they're chomping down. Ew. AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH THE BAKING. She bakes every other night!! Four dozen chocolate chip cookies, cheesecake, brownies. Offers it to us. No thanks. Oh my god, it disgusts me so much and it's sad because I actually used to be friends with them but now I can't handle their disgusting eating habits. Am I a bad person? It's so gross but at the same time I love that they eat bad because while shes getting fatter I am getting so thin and she makes it easier for me to say no to food. I had to rant I'm sorry.
TLDR: My roommates eat a lot of gross shit and it grosses me out and fuels my need to be thinner.
[Rant/Rave] Does not compute š
/u/almc879213
Created: Sun Aug 12 18:54:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96tyn8/does_not_compute/
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https://i.redd.it/t5nj0ugtdrf11.jpg
Changing my goals every day
/u/heartemoji
Created: Sun Aug 12 18:41:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96tvjy/changing_my_goals_every_day/
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I'm not sure what the point of this post is apart from hoping to find someone who can relate.
Every day I keep changing my goals and I'm frustrated with myself. Yesterday I decided that I would just aim for slow weight loss with a small deficit. Today I have been thinking that I should be eating at maintenance because I'm trying to build muscle. Half an hour later I am like, no I'm fat I should be restricting as much as possible.
I wish I could just pick a plan and stick to it :(
[Other] DAE get a high from drinking pure matcha?
/u/spaceindividual
Created: Sun Aug 12 18:39:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96tv7u/dae_get_a_high_from_drinking_pure_matcha/
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I mean I get like a floating sensation, kinda feel like a wellness pro
[Rant/Rave] Nsfw probably? Absolutely Crushed
/u/ThrowAwayMyCam
Created: Sun Aug 12 18:30:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96tsy7/nsfw_probably_absolutely_crushed/
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So Im a cam girl, and I have my own tumblr account that I post the occasional nude or sexy clothed pic on. Anyways, yesterday I was really feeling myself, Im pretty short (under 5'0) and currently at the heaviest Ive ever been. The ideal goal for people my height is like high 70s llbs to 80s, and FUCK. Im at around 112 or something and I can't even see my ribs when I suck in which I used to be secretly proud of because I had a fucked up aunt who promoted ED and being skinny as a kid. (Different story for different time)
Anyways, so I was feeling myself yesterday, taking nudes making that $$$. Havent posted on tumblr in a while, so I posted one of the nudes I felt was the cutest. Today I got a notification that I got a reblog and...
GUYS THE BLOG WHO REBLOGGED ME WAS INTO PREGNANT WOMEN AND FEEDING WOMEN UNTIL THEY'RE OVERWEIGHT. AND IT WAS HELLA FUCKED UP SEEING MY NUDE IN THAT AND AHHHHHHHH.
I need to work out more. I need to stop letting my friends tell me its okay to have an extra snack with them. I just went from 100 straight to 0. And its not even that I think fat/pregnant is ugly, half of my dad's side of the family are just bigger people and they're all beautiful! My cousin who is my most favorite person in the world is gorgeous and curvy.
But me? No. No, I need to stick thin and anyboyd insinuating that I have any ounce of fat on me punches me straight into relapse.
Ok, well thanks for reading my pity party, now I have to work out for as long as possible. ILY all and this community. ā¤ā¤ā¤
EC stack + exercise?
/u/betty_draper_ [5'7 | CW 157 | GW 116 | -13]
Created: Sun Aug 12 18:03:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96tmec/ec_stack_exercise/
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Sorry if that has been posted before but I couldnāt find it! Does anyone here run while on the stack? I want to get back into 10k training but Iām afraid of something bad happening lol. Whatās your experience been?
[Discussion] anyone elseās thighs fucking ENORMOUS?
/u/manfromanother-place [5ā1.75 | CW:104 GW:98 | 19.2 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 17:55:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96tkgf/anyone_elses_thighs_fucking_enormous/
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mine are 20.5ā which i feel would look great on a taller girl but iām only around 5ā2. i hate it and they look so fat
oh wow
/u/jclark36
Created: Sun Aug 12 17:37:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96tfz9/oh_wow/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/1200isplenty/comments/96syx4/i_worked_out_for_3_hours_at_the_gym_today_so_that/
There's no point
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | can't weigh myself | pant 00 | Gender: none :doge:]
Created: Sun Aug 12 17:29:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96te45/theres_no_point/
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There's no one I can look at and say "if I were their size I wouldn't want to lose weight." The thinspo that motivated me a year ago looks like fat people to me now. There's no end in sight. I have no goal, but I keep going.
Gained 60+lbs in 1.6 years of emotional eating. Stats in comments.
/u/addledd
Created: Sun Aug 12 17:28:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96tdpk/gained_60lbs_in_16_years_of_emotional_eating/
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https://i.redd.it/60xsp1kgyqf11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My family didnāt notice so now I need to lose more...
/u/EDthrowaway8888 [5'6 | CW 145.2 | BMI 23.3 | Weight Lost 20.6 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 17:15:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96tae5/my_family_didnt_notice_so_now_i_need_to_lose_more/
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Drove two hours to see my grandma and family for my grandmaās 80th birthday. Nobody noticed or said a thing about my weight loss. I know thatās self-centered and vain. But Iāve lost 20 lbs and several other people have made comments...but my weight-focused family says nothing? I guess I just have to lose a shit ton more weight for them to notice. :(
[Rant/Rave] I'm starting dance classes Friday, I'm so anxious
/u/Cactuseye [5'1.5| CW 156/7 | SW 162 | GW1 125 | 20f]
Created: Sun Aug 12 17:06:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96t86k/im_starting_dance_classes_friday_im_so_anxious/
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I took dance from 2 to 13, now I'm almost 21 and I signed up for adult/college dance classes, I start Friday. I'm worried about everything from "do I need to eat more" "will people make fun of me?" "Will I look okay in dance clothes" Ect , ect. Just a bunch of stupid bullshit but I'm really anxious about it :\.
When things work out ok
/u/TheGlitterMahdi [5'4" | 190lbs | 33.25 | -100lbs | Dude]
Created: Sun Aug 12 16:39:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96t1iy/when_things_work_out_ok/
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When you have to order groceries because you can't walk or drive and you're depressed about it so you order two jars of peanut butter but the delivery person accidentally gave them to her other customer and she keeps apologizing and offers to go back but you're like no fam it's cool now you don't have to hate yourself later tonight after eating a whole jar of peanut butter.
I wish I had that much chance to rethink everything else I eat, because half the time I feel like I don't actually need to have eaten in the first place.
(Also on mobile & no idea how to flair posts here, sorry)
[Rant/Rave] I avoided a binge
/u/audreyhepburnwho
Created: Sun Aug 12 16:34:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96t07r/i_avoided_a_binge/
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Finally! I had been falling into a binge cycle all over again. Binged a few days, fasted others, in the last 2 weeks. Ive been good since Friday but today.... Man, i almost did it..... I had a birthday lunch where I successfully limited myself to safe amounts. Then i was at the bus stop on my way home and saw Mcdonalds... Started thinking how long it's been since I've had it. Started creating the menu I'd buy in my head and then started thinking of the stops i could do before getting home to get some extra food for an epic binge.... Bus arrived, i entered, successfully skipping McDonald's. I was then still contemplating turning around for the whole trip. Then i looked what takeaway restaurants were open on a Sunday near my house... But i didn't do it. Went home. Then.... My weakness. Uber eats. After a couple hours half contemplating ordering a huge portion from 2 different restaurants and half watching TV, I then spent a good half hour actually trying to talk myself in or out of it. I planed exactly what i wanted to order. 2 burgers. Fries. Nuggets. A pizza, garlic bread, some donuts and a family sized cookie..... That was my plan. I told myself how this would really be the last 5 one. I'll start fresh tomorrow. The usual. I opened the app.... I selected the foods..... I stared at the cart after logging in with PayPal. All i had to do was click Pay and the food would be at my house in 20 minutes. And then i didnt. Im still not sure how, but i didnt. Decided, I'm not gonna regret NOT bingeing as much as I'll regret doing it. Closed the app. Got some chewing gum and made a cup of tea. Success.
Found the magic combination
/u/rowboatx
Created: Sun Aug 12 16:20:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96swgg/found_the_magic_combination/
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Doubt anyone saw it but I made a post a little while ago about how I really struggle with binging and then not being able to purge which leads to a lot of restriction
Lads
I found the magic recipe to make myself purge
Iāve never been able to properly purge but I think Iāve found the secret recipe tonight: a 20 hour work weekend where I eat nonstop (I work at a bakery so all I can find to eat on my breaks are cake and pies and this weekend we ran out of 0 calorie monster so I caved and actually ate a disgusting amount),an entire bottle of wine after said 20 hour work weekend, and then the biggest glass I can find of hot water, salt and hot sauce
Been stuck in the bathroom for 15 minutes now, I know I canāt purge an entire weekend of calories but I can give it a good go
Wish me luck
[Other] A fine something that everyone needs.
/u/GetToTheStore
Created: Sun Aug 12 16:05:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ssnb/a_fine_something_that_everyone_needs/
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https://i.redd.it/uxhdfsvojqf11.jpg
Scared of Losing Everything
/u/MidniteNightmares
Created: Sun Aug 12 15:52:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96sp3b/scared_of_losing_everything/
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I have struggled with disordered eating off and on since I was a pre-teen and was in recovery for almost two years. Over the last three months I have started starving myself and purging when I do eat. I can feel everything slipping out of control every time I eat (or don't eat) or purge, which is the opposite of what I am in search of while doing this and usually means I need to reach out for help or my mental health will slip into serious darkness. Biggest concern with reaching out is my therapist attempting to get more information and figuring out that I have been self harming in other ways as well and dealing with super dark thoughts. I know this would lead to likely at least a 72 hour hospital stay and I am not ready to give everything up yet like that.. What is the best way to get this off my chest and on the way to recovery without her putting the pieces together? I have been avoiding therapy because she can usually sense how I am doing and what is going on by my body language, we have had a therapist/client relationship for two years now so she understands me pretty well..
Sorry for the long post, forgive me if it doesn't make sense or I am rambling too much!
Apple Cider Vinegar For Weightloss?
/u/Saltinmylattee
Created: Sun Aug 12 15:44:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96sn0r/apple_cider_vinegar_for_weightloss/
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Does drinking apple Cider vinegar really help you lose weight? I read somehow you can lose 8 or 9 pounds drinking it for a week.
I really wanna try it because I recently had a baby 23 days ago and I went from 170 to 197! My weight has dropped to 180 since coming home though, but it want budge, even with breastfeeding!
[Discussion] DAE still love food?
/u/CharlieJScarper [5'0.5" | 92.8lbs | 17.8 | FTM:cat_blep:]
Created: Sun Aug 12 15:22:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96sh65/dae_still_love_food/
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Even after dealing with disordered eating for years, I still love to eat. I adore food, I love how it tastes and feels and smells. I constantly feel like I'm faking because of this! Shouldn't I be terrified of food? I'm always scared of binging, but not of the food itself
[Rant/Rave] New low: sleep-purging
/u/sagittorius
Created: Sun Aug 12 15:03:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96sbul/new_low_sleeppurging/
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I am a wreck right now. I feel like Iām in the eye of a hurricane and like Iām currently reaping the rewards of finally achieving something in my life (just bought first home), while I concurrently feel like the biggest failure on the planet.
The stresses of buying a home, working full time, being a mom & wife, and studying for my licensing exam are really getting to me.
Iāve been impatient with my daughter, tired, irritable, unprepared. Basically, am kind of being a shitty mom because Iām so overwhelmed.
Anyway, I fucking sleep-purged last night.
I woke up in the middle of the night b cause I was hungry. I ate a normal meal amount of food.
- 1 frozen organic āgo-gurtā (toddler food)
- 3/4 cup oat bran flakes flakes
- 3/4 cup whole milk
- 1/2 bag of cheddar Hippeas
I purged like half of what I ate, and I was more asleep than awake.
What.The.Fuck.
So, add that to the already enormous list of things that I have fucked up.
Rrrgghghghgh.
End rant.
[Discussion] Can anyone else not see flairs on mobile for thus sub?
/u/jackolantern_hat [5'9.5" | CW:149 | BMI: 21.22 | 21F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 14:51:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96s8hx/can_anyone_else_not_see_flairs_on_mobile_for_thus/
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I can't see flairs and post tags (though I can still choose a post tag) on mobile for this sub, anyone else? I thought it was universal until I was scrolling through random subs that all had flairs visible still.
Okay purging helps so well
/u/apfrun
Created: Sun Aug 12 14:40:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96s5lc/okay_purging_helps_so_well/
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I hate to say this and it sounds so awful. But yesterday I over ate a lot of kettle corn, and a quesadilla. So I purged a lot, and the next day I was down .8 lbs rather than up.
I feel like I might start doing this way too much and get a problem but yeah. I've seen how it helps.
[Rant/Rave] Drunkarexic dinner
/u/subtleskeleton
Created: Sun Aug 12 14:28:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96s2l9/drunkarexic_dinner/
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https://i.redd.it/2frztywe2qf11.jpg
[Help] Which should I try first: protein powder, electrolyte powder or soy-lent powder?
/u/kayasawyer [ 4'11 | 100 | 18.5 | 20 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 14:26:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96s1ys/which_should_i_try_first_protein_powder/
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**Edit:** Please excuse any spelling errors, my English isnāt that great when typing. If anything isnāt too clear just point it out please and Iāll try to correct it *or* if anyone speaks French I can translate it back to that. Thanks.
Firstly, I know that protein powder, electrolyte powder and soy-lent powder are not the same thing. I just want to know which is worth more bang for my buck or so to speak. Iām currently drinking Premier Protein Shakes. Itās 160 calories. Itās the 12 pack one and usually lasts me 6 days (so two a day) and thatās basically $60 to $65 for two weeks. I feel like Iām just spending too much money. I donāt even really know what the point of drinking protein shakes are? Iām not trying to gain muscle so in that case, should I just put protein shakes to the side for now and get the electrolyte powder and/or soy-lent powder?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. I know I ask a lot of questions on here but everyone is so helpful and itās so much easier than turning to Google or Tumblr.
Scars and fat
/u/theliberalpedestrian
Created: Sun Aug 12 13:47:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96rr20/scars_and_fat/
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I donāt think my body will ever look right. I fucked it all up so early in life. Iām 22, 60lbs down from my highest weight, covered in stretch marks, cutting scars, and another 20lbs or so that I still want to lose.
It doesnāt even matter to me that much being skinny (is a lie I sometimes tell myself) even if I was 120 lbs at 5ā7 and thin and pretty I still couldnāt wear everything I want to wear because of my scars.
I hate it, hate myself and my body. Thatās all. Basically just a self pity post which makes me feel even shittier.
[Rant/Rave] Had to share this ballerina's daily routine!
/u/CepheidVox [5'3 | 139 | 24.6 | -62 | F | šwaspish]
Created: Sun Aug 12 13:40:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96rp6b/had_to_share_this_ballerinas_daily_routine/
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https://youtu.be/5356zt0JiDY
[Rant/Rave] Trying to purge weetabix is literally the WORST.
/u/mina1200
Created: Sun Aug 12 13:25:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96rl0w/trying_to_purge_weetabix_is_literally_the_worst/
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Why is it so hard šš
Threw away $60 worth of Halo Top
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Sun Aug 12 13:09:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96rgq9/threw_away_60_worth_of_halo_top/
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Because I felt like my weight loss was slowing down because of my spoonful or two a day. FML. Fuck this shit.
Fuck everything
/u/starlit_skies [170cm | 46kg | 15.9| 20F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 13:00:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96rebe/fuck_everything/
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Overwhelming urge to ramble but also to not bother people, so I'm sorry to drop this here.
I do not want to have an ED. Desperately so. I want to be a normal, functioning person. But I don't know who or what I am without any mental illness.
Currently I'm at a camp, and should be taking care of children. Instead, I'm sitting in my tent sulking about because I ate dinner and sweets and breakfast today. I desperately want to talk to people here, let them know what's going on so they won't judge me as hard as they undoubtedly are right now. But I don't want them to know I'm unwell. I've been unwell for a few years (and thus a few camps) now, but it used to be depression and now it's an ED. Feels like I'll never be a healthy, normal, functioning adult.
All this makes me want to sink further into my ED, eat less, be thin, not hate myself as much. But I can't. I'm on probation of sorts, I should be checking in with a doctor every week to measure my weight. If I lose any more, I'll be forced into inpatient and I just can't. My parents will know, my friends will know, everyone will know that I still haven't gotten out of the "edgy sad 13 year old teen" phase.
To top it off, I keep re-reading the last message my ex-bf (kind of, technically we were never together because very complicated because mental illness) sent... It hurts so much to see how much he hurts because of me. Makes me want to dive even deeper into my ED.
Fuck this shit. Fuck this never-ending spiral of negativity. Fuck my brain.
I need someone to tell me that I won't gain 1000 pounds from a day of 1800cal
/u/GingerStark [5'9.5" | 18 | CW : 123 | GW : 120 | UGW : 110 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 12:50:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96rbid/i_need_someone_to_tell_me_that_i_wont_gain_1000/
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I know I won't. But please I *need* it
[Help] Question for fellow keto-ers
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: IDK, TOO MUCH| GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 12:44:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96r9pa/question_for_fellow_ketoers/
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I did two 24 hour fasts between Friday- sun morning, breaking it up with one moderately sized high fat/protein kept meal. I had about 500 calories of spinach, avocado and eggs this morning and about 300 of macadamia nuts for lunch and I'm around 8g of net carbs right now. I REALLY want to eat a whole pint of arctic freeze for dinner tonight, but the whole thing would be around 20g net carbs. Do you think eating up to 28 g of NC would knock me out of ketosis? I feel like I should let myself have it, but the whole point of being this strict this weekend was to get myself into ketosis.
Any thoughts/advice??
[Rant/Rave] Trying to eat normally
/u/narkisseh
Created: Sun Aug 12 12:42:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96r998/trying_to_eat_normally/
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I wanna go back to eating like a normal person. I donāt wanna feel constantly torn between not wanting to eat because I donāt wanna gain but wanting to eat because I wanna fucking keep building muscle, not losing it. I donāt wanna go through cycles of restricting and fasting just to end up binging days on end. I donāt wanna have to fucking weigh everything I eat and log it and I donāt WANT TO FEEL ANXIOUS ABOUT EATING A NORMAL FUCKING MEAL
Why does eating have to be so difficult
[Help] Haven't posted in a while, but I need a little support
/u/goddamnroommate [š: goddamnroommate | 5'6" | 24.94 | GW 128]
Created: Sun Aug 12 12:30:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96r62r/havent_posted_in_a_while_but_i_need_a_little/
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My ex from like...February is in a new relationship and I saw it through FB. Pragmatically, it shouldnt be a big deal. There were problems in the relationship, it wasn't going to last and I know that. He helped me get through a difficult time in a difficult place, though, and there is a fondness.
I think the main problem is that my mental health issues were a large part of the breakup, and they're still here. so now I feel kind of unloveable. Like my problems make it impossible to keep a relationship. Literally c/s a whole pizza when i saw it on fb. So, that was really cool. Now im just sadly watching netflix. I have so much I should be proud of, but i am so worried that no one will be able to put up with me. I want to change, but ive never been able to.
Ana group chat
/u/anasabitch
Created: Sun Aug 12 12:10:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96r0i7/ana_group_chat/
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Hey Iām making an Ana group chat on instagram. Dm me if u wanna join.
[Rant/Rave] holding myself accountable
/u/n34543 [5'5 | CW: 127 | 21.1 | GW: 117 ]
Created: Sun Aug 12 12:04:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96qytj/holding_myself_accountable/
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I'm finally starting to get over the plateau and I'm under 130 but I keep ruining it with binges. I decide that i deserve to give myself some nutrients or I justify it by saying that I don't want to lose muscle. I binged yesterday. I woke up soo hungry, but I just had a 5 cal iced coffee instead. Then I went to the gym but I had zero energy and only made it 40 mins into my workout. Then I went and bought food and binged. I feel terrible but know that in like 3 hours I'll come up with a justification to binge. Just posting this to remind myself not to binge and to hold myself accountable. I'm so good at mental gymnastics.
DAE swing between long restriction and binge phases? What makes you switch from one to the other?
/u/GlitchModulator_
Created: Sun Aug 12 11:56:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96qws1/dae_swing_between_long_restriction_and_binge/
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I go through ~month long phases of either severe bingeing or severe restricting. I find that once I'm in a phase, it's sort of perpetuating where it gains momentum with time.
For example, if I'm restricting I am pretty unlikely to just have a random binge day and then go back to restricting (or vice versa). However, eventually something happens and I will switch phases. I don't know what that 'something' is, though. It sort of just feels like one day I just randomly wake up with a completely different mindset.
I think if I knew better about what switched me from a restriction to a binge phase, I would be better at avoiding the binge phase to begin with. And, if I knew what switched me from a binge to restriction phase I would be able to take advantage of that and get out of my binges faster.
So I guess I was just wondering if anyone else did this and if they had any insight into why or how to avoid such month long extremes.
[Other] Guys, please be careful (pity party).
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 87.4lbs| 14 | Male]
Created: Sun Aug 12 11:12:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96qkul/guys_please_be_careful_pity_party/
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Not to be all "wah poor me" (except I totally am), but I'm currently in the hospital, on the cardiac unit; bed rest, an increasing oral intake during the day, plus tube feeds overnight. If you're feeling shitty about what you've eaten or how little activity you've done, I'm sitting on my ass all day, eating a full meal plan, plus getting \~800kcal pumped into me while I sleep.
Stay safe.
https://i.redd.it/qczv59ab3pf11.jpg
Are boiled eggs and coffee a safe breakfast?
/u/nadaatractiva
Created: Sun Aug 12 11:06:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96qj8m/are_boiled_eggs_and_coffee_a_safe_breakfast/
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Or should I take the yolk out...?
I plan on only having thatfor breakfast and fast with water and coffee the rest of the day for like three/five days
I gained back the 10 pounds I had recently lost, and feeling like a freaking pig. Need to loose weight NOW, I am disgusting.
Do you think it would work?
[Goal] officially one week binge free!
/u/kittencafe
Created: Sun Aug 12 10:57:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96qgpx/officially_one_week_binge_free/
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it doesn't sound like much, but i couldn't go 2 days without binging before! i never thought i would get this far!! i also hit a gw because of this :) unfortunately i did have a mini-binge today, but i didn't go over 1000 calories so i'm still in deficit- i just have to make sure i can be strong for the rest of the day and not let it ruin my willpower. i'm terrified i might start binging again though... i couldn't bear to be back in a binge-fast cycle. :(
[Help] I am depressed
/u/thinraindrop
Created: Sun Aug 12 10:31:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96q9x9/i_am_depressed/
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Lately I've been feeling so depressed, and it's getting worse each day. I've been thinking about getting help but I'm extremely bad at speaking up about my problems. Usually I'm the girl that people go to for their own problems and I love helping everyone out, but I really need help myself right now. Every part of my life is suffering, including my fulltime job.
I really do not know where I'm going with his but this subreddit feels like the only place I have to ask for advice. I literally feel like death.
How do I approach getting help for my mental issues? How can I be open about my feelings, and what are your experiences with getting help?
Thanks
[Help] FASTING Question: Really need help with this. I have a hard time understanding it.
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Sun Aug 12 10:21:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96q751/fasting_question_really_need_help_with_this_i/
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Iāve fasted before. Many times in fact. But I never really understood exactly what my body is doing why I am fasting- So, is your body burning off those calories you ate the day before? For example: letās say you eat 2,000 calories the day before right- a binge or something. If you fast the next day, is your body burning off all those calories as well? By fasting? And does it essentially put you back on track? Thank you! I fast but Iām not confident in why I do. I know I do after binges but I would feel more confident knowing exactly whatās going on. Thank you guys :)
Comparing your grocery cart to everyone in line with you.
/u/StarburnerRav [5' 10" |Trumps salary in lbs | -40 lbs | Male]
Created: Sun Aug 12 10:19:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96q6n8/comparing_your_grocery_cart_to_everyone_in_line/
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Judging them for what they're buying and then instantly feeling like a terrible person and apologizing to them in your head because who tf does that.
Also when you feel like everyone knows you have an ED just by looking at your cart. I JUST LIKE POWERADE ZERO AND PICKLES, JANET GET OFF MY BACK.
Not being told about your weight lead to an eating disorder?
/u/diaperedwoman
Created: Sun Aug 12 10:15:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96q5mm/not_being_told_about_your_weight_lead_to_an/
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Often times I keep hearing how "fat shaming" your kids leads them to EDs and what I mean by that word is just telling them they are putting on too much weight or that they have gained and not lying to them about why their clothes stopped fitting.
When I was 12 and 13, my mom would say I just grew or that the outfit shrunk, not because I had put on weight. She also didn't tell me I was eating too much and it was the medicine I am on that was tricking my brain into thinking I am hungry when I am not and that is just the medicine doing it. I ended up with all these stretch marks on my buttocks and thighs and hips. I was an adult when she finally told me these things. So I got stretch marks from weight gain, not because my body changed. I think the reason why she finally told me this so I will stop worrying about getting stretch marks on my belly when I was pregnant so she finally told me the truth about my stretch marks. "No honey, it was because you put on weight because you were always hungry, it was the side affect of the pills you were on to calm your body down when you were having seizures so you ate twice as much and you often snacked because you were always hungry. The pills tricked your brain. That is why you have stretchmarks. You gained 20 pounds in one month." Why she didn't tell me this at 12 years old is beyond me. Maybe she wanted me to keep taking my medicine than quitting if she had told me, I don't know.
I also eventually ended up with body image issues because I had put on so much weight and gotten stretch marks on my thighs and hips and back legs and buttocks and lower legs and I realized my weight was abnormal because people weighed less than me, even those who are taller. I eventually started to get obsessed with my weight and calories and eventually I ended up with an ED and I had fear of getting fat because I didn't want to get that heavy again. I now work out so I don't have to worry about weight gain and I can enjoy eating. I still watch calories and food portions. Something I never did as a kid and that was how I put on weight in the first place in puberty. Never again will I go there.
So either way, a kid can still get an ED with these either choices the parent makes. Would I have a better relationship with my body if my mom had stopped me from over eating as a 12 year old and just been honest with me about me putting on weight. Sometimes a parent is so concerned that they will give their kid a ED if they comment about their weight and body and food they are eating it actually can do the opposite than they intended. But as everyone says, a parent will always screw their kid up in a way, even none abusive parents will screw their kid up somehow. No kid comes with instructions so parents will have no idea how their choices will affect their kid in the future. But then again I might have been the exception because I functioned different and I was different as a child and not "normal." But all this just makes me want to be honest with my own children and not lie to them about their weight and making up fatlogic excuses for why their clothes stopped fitting and then seeing them ending up with ugly stretch marks that could have been prevented because their own grandmother didn't tell their mother so she didn't want to repeat her mistake. But at least we have limited income so I can use money as an excuse for them to not eat so much because I don't want to spend more on groceries or else we all go hungry if they eat up all the food. This is also the reason why we don't eat out often and why we don't buy junk food often and why we don't always have dessert. Those are luxury foods. We save money on not getting it and it makes me eat less as well because of my sweet tooth.
Every time I see topics about parents commenting on their kids size and seeing negative comments about the parents doing it, I am always thinking I wished mine had done that with me and what pisses me off the most is they have no problems telling me I am getting too skinny but yet they had a problem with telling me I was putting on too much weight so they didn't tell me? What is wrong with these people? But it's so socially acceptable to skinny shame your kids but not fat shame, go figure. I wished I was "fat shamed" and I mean by "You put on weight, if you eat less sugar like have less snacks and cookies and stop sneaking fruit snacks, you will thin down again" when my pants had gotten tight or when my dress got too small than telling me "your dress is too small, it shrunk in the wash."
Does anyone else actually feel the same way and actually wished their parents had commented on their weight and told them the truth and do you think that is what lead you to an ED?
people donāt know what they want erg
/u/cortizonegnome [5'3" | 109 | 19.8 | GW 94 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 09:59:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96q191/people_dont_know_what_they_want_erg/
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i have an alt where i post normally and keep it free of this fresh #ED content bc unfortunately ppl donāt take u seriously if they see u struggle with disordered eating ! anyways I posted sometime ago abt making (healthy!!!) progress on my weight loss (just a little bit of weight from upper normal to like mid normal or something idk well point being Iām still well within a normal weight range) bc I was proud of myself for losing it at a HEALTHY deficit on /r/loseit and I just got ppl saying āyou know ur almost underweight rightā or āhey donāt lose much moreā and itās like BITCH ok yeah ur right lol I technically donāt need to lose for health reasons but ALSO ALL ur fave celebs r underweight. Yāall know Anna kendrick, Emma Watson, that hot chick from scream queens and AHS, YEAH theyāre ALL underweight. Like if I want to be cute thatās Just the weight I have to be at. Iām asian too and my body doesnāt get āthiccā or ācurvyā just Fat boy like itās fine if everyone preaches being underweight is bad but yāall canāt Also be salivating over underweight VS models and actresses and kpop singers like alsksksk. Idk Iām just annoyed today bc Iāve been in SF w my brother for a week and Iāve had to eat like twice my normal calories this week bc the whole city is a bakery and Iām actually trying to lose like a TON of weight before school starts but ig the skinny debut is canceled
[Other] UK folks: Asda have started doing their own brand fibre one bars! Under 90 cals each and probably a lot cheaper.
/u/celestialmisstep [5'4" | -37lb | F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 09:46:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96pxw7/uk_folks_asda_have_started_doing_their_own_brand/
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https://i.redd.it/e7ll1gv1oof11.jpg
Does it count as purging if Iām doing it for non food reasons?
/u/anxiety-and-theatre
Created: Sun Aug 12 09:26:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96psnl/does_it_count_as_purging_if_im_doing_it_for_non/
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Iām bulimic but I havenāt thrown up in about a month, up until yesterday. I was PMSing and had terrible hip pain, cramps, and nausea so I made myself throw up just to relieve the nausea. It wasnāt for food reasons at all. Does that mean Iām 0 days purge free? Iām fine either way
P E A C H
/u/readytowilt
Created: Sun Aug 12 09:09:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96po87/p_e_a_c_h/
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keep seeing all these peach posts so I thought Iād make one
my username is bbjj3
always looking for new people to talk to
Saw another post and downloaded peach
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 116 |UGW 105| F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 09:02:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96pm9h/saw_another_post_and_downloaded_peach/
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My username is comrade_toastboy, looking for people to talk to.
Drunk bulimic?
/u/doubleflipheart [SW - 70 kg ā£ļø CW - 56.5 kg ā£ļø GW - 45 kg]
Created: Sun Aug 12 08:56:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96pktz/drunk_bulimic/
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My thing is restricting. I'm not big on puking, I've tried it a few times and it makes me feel shitty so I'd rather not eat. However ever since this summer, every time I get drunk with my friends I force myself to vomit. At first it was because I drank a lil too much a threw up on my own and then I was like oooh I should do it on purpose...so I did and it was so easy. Now every time I get drunk I do it, especially if I've eaten too much. But I don't do it sober. I just found it kinda funny, anyone else like this?
I cannot stop b/ping when Iām drunk
/u/LLazarus732
Created: Sun Aug 12 08:38:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96pgfj/i_cannot_stop_bping_when_im_drunk/
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I have got to stop this. Iāve always struggled with it but had actually gone almost a month since doing it, and hadnāt binged and purged sober in about 6 months. Thatās all down the toilet. Ha. Iāve purged sober 3 times this week and in the past three weeks I have massively binged and purged every time I got drunk. I thought I was getting better. Iām not. Itās only getting worse. How do I stop this?? Also if anyone has any tips about what to do to physically care for yourself and reduce damage the day after a drunken b/p session I would appreciate it so much š I feel like Iām losing hope that I even can stop this, I donāt know what to do and I feel like Iām spiraling out of control.
Low calorie Korean snacks
/u/thrownawaykalbi [5'7"|CW 101lbs|BMI 15.7|SW 108lbs|21F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 08:37:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96pg8r/low_calorie_korean_snacks/
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http://imgur.com/a/YWuTrOH
[Discussion] Counting calories
/u/Sgt_rumble
Created: Sun Aug 12 08:36:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96pfyo/counting_calories/
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If you eat past midnight do you add the calories to the day you are actually on to the day you woke up?
[Help] Japan questions
/u/stillweighting [5'4 | CW 130 | GW 99 | LW 107 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 08:35:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96pfo0/japan_questions/
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Happy Sunday lovely people :)
So I have a few questions for people who either live in or have visited Japan.
Are there any low cal staples that are worth knowing about or anything major I should avoid? Iām going to be there for 3 weeks in September and to be honest Iām stressing about the food sitch.
Any help is much appreciated!! šš
[Help] I hate this. Binge/restrict phase
/u/narkreturn
Created: Sun Aug 12 08:33:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96pf8z/i_hate_this_bingerestrict_phase/
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I hate this. I canāt eat normal. If Iām forced to eat out by minds like ātodayās ruined start restricting tomorrowā so I just eat everything. I alternate between binging and restricting and itās horrible because I donāt lose any weight. Iād rather just eat normal than this. I feel like fkn shit right now cause I ate so much and I can just feel my body gaining fat and it freaks me out. My only solution is to just restrict heavily for the rest of the week but thatās not good enough. I wonāt lose all the weight Iāve gained fast enough. I need to lose 3kg that I gained through this stupid cycle by the 1st of September and I just know I wonāt be able to and it fkn makes me hate myself. The worst part is I did this to myself. the part that fucks me up is when I donāt know the calories in food so I just assume itās high asf and that my day is ruined. Iām gonna have to force myself starting tomorrow to exercise every day at least burning 200 calories. And then only eat dinner (which my parents cook so I have no fkn clue the calories which causes me major anxiety) and then have sugar free jelly and PRAY Iām consuming no more than 600 calories. I need to do this til September and pray I can fkn get down those three kilos or Iāll actual lose my mind. I canāt handle feeling like this and looking like this. I canāt wear any of my nice clothes cause I feel like I ruin them cause Iām not thin enough to look good in them. I hate this. I hate my brain. Why canāt I just eat normal and lose weight. I need to just focus on restricting and thatās all but itās so hard to focus on that when I know how much I weigh and it just makes it so hard to be motivated. I feel thereās no purpose in living if Iām not thin, yet I canāt even fkn do that right anymore. Any tips to get out of the binge/restrict phase would be wonderful.
[Rant/Rave] i got a little buzzed alone last night and just sat and cried because i know iām not good enough
/u/2ndfirstday [:redditgold: 5'5" | C 102.6 | G 95 | :downvote:1 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 08:31:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96pepe/i_got_a_little_buzzed_alone_last_night_and_just/
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got buzzed off one 99 calorie beer for the sake of it. i was fine, happy and watching hulu, when all of a sudden i had a single thought take over: iām not good enough.
and it hit me so hard. i cried a lot and wanted so badly to rant about it, but i feel like such a bother. itās not exactly like anyone cares, so...
[Rant/Rave] I'm Just Not Enough
/u/MrsBluebeard [5'4" | 96 lbs. | 16.8 | UGW- 90 lbs. | Bee]
Created: Sun Aug 12 08:28:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96pdu8/im_just_not_enough/
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I can't stand me. I'm so sick of me. All I want is to become a nurse, get out of debt, and live a happy life with the guy I'm dating and a million pets but my eating disorder/alcoholism is ruthlessly sabotaging that.
I feel like I could be so much more, and so good for others but I'm like not even close to being good for myself.
I'm 25 fucking years old. I shouldn't be worrying about losing my teeth or my insane credit card debt. I shouldn't be drinking a 8+ drinks a night, leaving my boyfriend to worry and pick up the remains of my terrible terrible existence. I'm scared about how much I love him, because I know I'll be shattered once it's over.
I wish I could stop drinking and b/ping. I know it's a problem. I know the compliments, the attention, and the kindness from strangers sucks me down further into this void of self loathing.
I don't think I'll make it to the end of this year. That's the scariest part of it all.
Hands going numb all the time
/u/DexterIbarbo
Created: Sun Aug 12 08:21:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96pccx/hands_going_numb_all_the_time/
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So I have been recovering from my ED. Almost completely weight restored, a lot of symptoms have been resolved (testosterone is back, energy too, sleep is normal etc) but my hands still go numb like all the time. Does anyone know what the cause might be. I take a multivatim everyday
UGH.
/u/throwawaybaby401
Created: Sun Aug 12 07:16:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96p2vk/ugh/
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Recorded a video of myself = completely disgusting; not capable of causing some to be sexually attracted to me; must be skinny and beautiful. MUST BE SKINNY. It seems like everyone else in this subreddit is already around their goal weight and Iām over here with the profile that screams double chin. Goddamn it, self worth needs to earned by actually being pretty. fuck my life.
Um guys no one is asking me questions on IG and it downs me ):
/u/BadLifePLanner
Created: Sun Aug 12 06:26:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96oted/um_guys_no_one_is_asking_me_questions_on_ig_and/
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Its been like 14 hours into the story. Have you been in this situation?
I mean I knew it was going to be bad but I went with it.
Low calorie Korean snacks
/u/thrownawaykalbi [5'7"|CW 101lbs|BMI 15.7|SW 108lbs|21F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 06:26:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96otaj/low_calorie_korean_snacks/
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http://imgur.com/a/YWuTrOH
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 12, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 12 06:11:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96oqky/daily_food_diary_august_12_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 12, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 12 06:11:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96oqjf/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
Quit my part time job yesterday
/u/Idratherbeloki
Created: Sun Aug 12 05:35:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96okqo/quit_my_part_time_job_yesterday/
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I work two jobs. My main job is in an office where I basically sit all day. My part time job is at a large chain grocery store where I worked in the bakery. this PT job is very labor intensive yet I am surrounded by food and would find myself not only taking nibbles (allowed) but also spending money on the high end groceries.
.
My ed is very loud right now and I have been restricting. I quit my job yesterday for several reasons with one of them being I wanted more time to spend with my ED. That is screwed up seeing how I probably did burn a lot of calories and could use the extra cash. I wish I was better with self control. I am a binger first, restrictor second so the bingey part of my brain would win out when offered to try cheese or croissants or cookies. Random left over cake pieces or the burnt cheese bits in the pan from our bagels. I don't know if I made the right decision. I had been conflicted for weeks. I probably should have just stuck it out.
.
Oh well. Good news is I am.down 2 pounds since my last weigh in.
.
[Other] These are under 10 calories each and magical, I had to share
/u/imgonnaloseitall
Created: Sun Aug 12 04:59:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96of3v/these_are_under_10_calories_each_and_magical_i/
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https://i.redd.it/p9glrr0x8nf11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] binging whenever close to low weight š¤¬
/u/a1sha
Created: Sun Aug 12 04:43:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ocrz/binging_whenever_close_to_low_weight/
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for the past 3months whenever i get to the borderline of a new low weight i always binge like a mad man that same dayš¤¬ then i spend the rest of the time trying to get back to my pre binge weight and by the time iām near the new low my binge attacks strike again š¤¬š¤¬š¤¬
can anyone else relate??
i wondering maybe i should just stop weighing myself everyday so i reach a new low without noticing šŖšŖšŖ i canāt help not to though as high key addicted to weighing myself
[Rant/Rave] I can't do this [HUGE TW: suicide]
/u/ThrowawayZ9ChSF4
Created: Sun Aug 12 04:10:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96o86y/i_cant_do_this_huge_tw_suicide/
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I have a thyroid disease, depression, and anorexia turned BED. Needless to say, this brutal combo has been causing me to gain weight steadily over the years. So far hospitalizations and therapies (for the mental issues) haven't worked. I have tried so hard to get out of this vicious circle, but to no avail. I have always hated my body and appearance so much, but now it's slowly getting worse and worse, as I get uglier - it's like a slow descent into madness.
As if that wasn't bad enough, I have to CONSTANTLY visit a plethora of doctors to get checked (because of the thyroid, the amount of meds I take, etc.). I get weighed approximately every two weeks. I dread the scale. I am so scared of my parents' looks when I hand them the results. I am so scared of the doctors' words. I don't want to see the number. I know I'm in denial, but it just makes it so much worse. Every time, I cry for days - and when I finally accept it, it's time for another weigh-in!
Well, my doctor just called me that my appointment has to be rescheduled to tomorrow.
Great. I have no time to at least prepare a bit psychologically. I have been going through intense panic attacks for the last 4 hours and crying non-stop. I can't do it anymore.
I know it's ridiculous, being so tormented by NUMBERS, but I can't help it. I feel imprisoned in this massive, rotting body. I fear that I may panic and overdose on the pills I have hidden in my room. I have been suicidal for a very long time and this certainly isn't the method I would choose - but it's my quickest option, it's right here. And I'm really scared that some kind of impulse will urge me to do something that stupid. I don't want to die. I don't want to live like this, either. I don't want to live through another weigh-in. I don't know what to do.
Is my girlfriend sabotaging me?
/u/sabotagedthrowaway
Created: Sun Aug 12 03:26:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96o21a/is_my_girlfriend_sabotaging_me/
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I come from an athletic background, my mom did swimming/tennis and dad and uncle did wrestling seriously. I'm also addicted to sports, I competed in college wrestling and still run or swim every day. My gf met me in college when I was around 300 and competed at 280/285(I'm 6'7). After college I stopped wrestling because it wasn't fun anymore and I wasn't good enough to go pro.
Four years later I'm now doing boxing for fun but competing as an amateur, I'm 230 and competing at 200. I've always gotten compliments but this year more than usual because my muscles are more visible or defined.
Here's why I think my gf is sabotaging:
1. She often suggests competing at higher weight class with no good argument.
2. She will look at college pictures of us and say we looked healthier (we weren't)
3. She says she's attracted to bigger guys which might be true but why say that when I'm happier at this weight.
4. Sometimes she hints that she felt safer when I was bigger which is ridiculous, I've done combat sports for 15 years lol.
5. She's very competitive and is losing weight herself. I strongly suspect she purges, after dinner she will go to the bathroom and play loud music. Also she eats more than me but is like 140??
I'm trying to not panic cuz I love her and she's always been there for me but I feel like she's inconsiderate. Woow what a rant
[Rant/Rave] Trying so hard not to binge
/u/noxadvena
Created: Sun Aug 12 03:10:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96nznu/trying_so_hard_not_to_binge/
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Iāve done really well restricting all week but I donāt think Iām any lighter. Iām so frustrated and defeated. Iāve eaten nearly 1000 calories today but all I want now is ice cream and donuts and Thai food and I want to binge out like crazy but I also know thatāll make me feel worse.
Iām just so lonely and sad and food has always been my comfort. I might take some sleeping pills and just go to bed. Iām just so so lonely and I hate feeling this way. I just hate everything.
Does higher intakes (800+ cals a day) still cause insomnia?
/u/dxylightt [short | 120-125? | GW: 90-95 |]
Created: Sun Aug 12 03:05:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96nywb/does_higher_intakes_800_cals_a_day_still_cause/
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Iāve always been a <500 cal or 5000 cal kind of girl, not really anything in between. I know that when I restrict long enough under 500 cals (and especially within the 200-300 range), I get terrible insomnia. Iāll have trouble falling asleep, wake up a lot during the night, etc.
Well, after a year of constant weight gain I finally realized that under 500 cals just results in a binge, so for the past couple weeks Iāve been eating between 800-1000, with the occasional 1200 day. The past few days, however, Iāve had really terrible insomnia. I donāt drink caffeine, so that canāt be the culprit.
Itās currently 5 AM but Iāve been laying in my bed for *hours* trying to fall back asleep. The same thing happened last night. So, Iām just wondering if insomnia still occurs at intakes within the 800-1000 range, so I at least know thatās whatās causing it on nights like these.
caved and ate a falafel sandwich today, was a tiny bit over budget and decided to āwork it offā š
/u/mauvegraybluegreen
Created: Sun Aug 12 01:49:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96nnw1/caved_and_ate_a_falafel_sandwich_today_was_a_tiny/
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https://i.redd.it/gq3l1rv0bmf11.jpg
[Other] You've heard of laxatives? Now get ready for
/u/eighttorches [5'2 | 15 from goal | F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 01:44:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96nn6h/youve_heard_of_laxatives_now_get_ready_for/
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Binging on your first meal of the week which is 2 (2) boxes of kraft mac and cheese and letting your lactose intolerance do the work for you !!!!:))))šššššššš
If you could choose, what would be your ideal, dream height?
/u/BIueJayWay [5"3| CW:107 |GW: 102 |BMI:18.9 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 01:13:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96nif3/if_you_could_choose_what_would_be_your_ideal/
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Are you happy with your height or are you insecure about it?
My brain won't make up its damn mind
/u/Snflrr [5'9| CW 245| GW 130| LW -25| Trans F]
Created: Sun Aug 12 01:09:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96nhv1/my_brain_wont_make_up_its_damn_mind/
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When I fast: You dumb bitch, you're gonna kill yourself like this
When I restrict: Why even bother eating??? Honestly, you're such a fatty; you can't even go a day without your pReCiOuS cAlOrIeS
When I binge: Wow see I knew it you're a fuckin fatty fat fatso mcfatbitch
When I eat a healthy amount of food, which will allow me to steadily lose weight but not endanger myself physically: You're a fucking whale, honestly
š
self sabotaging veganism
/u/keepitcosmic [5'2" | Yikes | -0 lbs | š· ]
Created: Sun Aug 12 01:01:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ngfp/self_sabotaging_veganism/
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i want to be vegan so badly. my husband isnāt, and thatās fine, but whatās not fine is when i grocery shop i have to buy him animal products which i end up bingeing on. iāll go a few days without any animal products and then at 2 am iāll be too depressed to make a veggie burger so iāll stuff my face with cheese or ham slices. i feel awful. i donāt now what to do. i also canāt lose weight because i binge all the fuckin time on everything i can get my hands on.
in loving memory of my ass
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 110|17.2|UGW: 105|F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 23:56:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96n5w9/in_loving_memory_of_my_ass/
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so currently iām going between about 108-111, which is my lowest adult weight ever. when i was at a normal weight (about 125-130) i had a really cute butt that was one of the few things i genuinely liked about my body. today i had to shower at someone elseās house and i forgot a loofah or washcloth so i had to smear body wash on myself with my hands like some sort of animal and when i got to my butt i just kind of stopped because it was like *whoa.* my butt is so god damn flat and i didnāt even realize it. now itās entirely unrealistic to have a perfect bubble butt and thighs i can wrap my hands around but wow i have a hank hill booty now and idk how to feel about it. i guess i thought that when i lost weight i would actually start to like how my body looks but every once in a while, when i get that split second glimpse of myself in a mirror before all i see is fat and flab, i see a scrawny bony sad girl and somehow i hate my body even more than i did before.
starting over...again and again
/u/iLikePoro
Created: Sat Aug 11 23:46:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96n49n/starting_overagain_and_again/
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i thought i was okay. i was nearing underweight at one point and thought bulking would help me mentally and in my workouts. so i was slowly gaining weight but in a healthy way that didnt make me feel like shit. i was okay with my body some days. and then today. today i went home since the beginning of the year. i didnt even last 3 hours. i started eating 2 hours ago and only stopped now because my stomach is too in pain to continue. i ate half a rotissiere chicken, 6 pieces of bread, 3 ounces of walnuts, a peach, a banana, half a bag of family sized lays, and a random assortment of desserts lying around. i hate that im like this. i hate that going home is a trigger. idk if its the family environment, where my parents asked me to eat about 7 different times even after the chicken, or the fact that they keep all this food around. my apartments only easily made food is frozen chicken and vegetables and condiments. i hate myself and now i want to go back to restricting because i feel like im fat again but eating at only a slight surplus these past months was already a struggle. i just wanna go back to when food didnt dictate my life.
Had 1100 calories today trying to recover from a stomach virus and I can't sleep now
/u/Sidehothrowaway [f | 31 | 134lbs lost | GW US size 6]
Created: Sat Aug 11 23:29:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96n1cb/had_1100_calories_today_trying_to_recover_from_a/
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I literally felt like I was going to die and lost 9lbs in 24 hours. Between very heavy restriction lately and a really bad lax day the day before I got sick my body was not ready to handle the fever and fluid loss. Anyway, did away with my one meal a day schedule today because I was off of work and legitimately scared (chest tightness, fluttering, faintness, etc) and throughout the day have been chugging coconut water for potassium, had soup, a turkey burger patty, some nuts, GTs turmeric ginger yogurt, and a pint of dairy free peanut butter cup halo top. Then I went to bed. I was right around 850 which is usually my absolute maximum on a bad day. Well I just woke up, still insanely hungry and smashed a kind bar and some turkey breast dipped in cold tomato soup. Now I'm right around 1100. I can't get back to sleep and need to get up for work in like 2 hours. Freaking out about carbs. Freaking out about how I'm going to have sugar cravings all day tomorrow now. Freaking out about how I fucked up today. It's so irrational it drives me crazy. My body seriously needed all of that food. I just want to sleep and feel better tomorrow. It's bad enough that everything still hurts because I'm getting over being sick. I don't want to be tired and hating myself more than usual on top of it over a fucking granola bar and turkey. It's like my fucking brain is like "Oooo 9lbs in like 1 day that's amazing! Let's keep that going! Don't eat!". As disordered as I am I still can't rationalize that one and can tell it's severe dehydration. It was a very scary feeling. Not scary enough for the little voice inside that's trying to kill me to try and not convince me to go make up a an Epsom salt and dulcolax cocktail (not happening but man is the urge really really there).
I'm just so tired.
my mom threatened to put me in the hospital if she found out I had an eating disorder
/u/NotBlackAjah7734 [5'0 | CW:110~ | UGW:85 | BMI 21.5 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 23:28:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96n17g/my_mom_threatened_to_put_me_in_the_hospital_if/
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you're not helping me, mom. especially because i'm hiding it, hoping it and my other problems will just leave. the threat of hospitalization just makes me more scared of getting help. I know she means well but this is giving me big anxiety
I can lose all the weight in the world, but my bone structure will still be fucked
/u/Iamveryspiteful
Created: Sat Aug 11 23:14:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96mypo/i_can_lose_all_the_weight_in_the_world_but_my/
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I don't have petite, small bones. I have big ribs and broad shoulders. No matter how much weight I lose, I'd still be unhappy with my body. I can change the number on the scale, and I have. But I can't change what's in my bones.
Rant over.
MFP cals
/u/coffeehearts [5'5" | CW 130 | GW 120 | BMI 21.6 | -11 lbs | F(26)]
Created: Sat Aug 11 23:13:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96mygm/mfp_cals/
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Fuck MFP for not letting you close out under 1200 calories. I'm sure it's been said before but the fact that it won't give you a projected weight in 5 weeks if you eat under 1200 is bogus. I'm not that short but legit if you are a small person eating under 1200 to lose isn't even unhealthy. I'm sick right now and while I aim for 1200 I wasn't that hungry today and eating 800 cals should be normal as fuck.
[Rant/Rave] Bad day today.
/u/MyBunnyisMean
Created: Sat Aug 11 23:10:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96mxu9/bad_day_today/
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I havenāt felt like this in awhile. Iāve felt like complete crap all day since waking up. Iāve had nausea all day ever since I took my vitamins in an empty stomach, I was too tired to function to the point of sleeping anywhere in my house (I assume itās mostly because of really low Vitamin D which I found out about just yesterday), on top of that Iām to the point I want to make myself throw up so my stomach can have some relief. Iāve literally just felt sick all day and Iām so over it. I hate feeling dead tired, nauseated and sick. However, I know this will pass...I just felt like ranting about it.
Do any of you have any tips to fight the nausea and fatigue?. Iād try anything at this point.
Breaking a ROUGH binge cycle who wants to join
/u/halfcigarette
Created: Sat Aug 11 23:09:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96mxrh/breaking_a_rough_binge_cycle_who_wants_to_join/
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Looking for some accountability because I just canāt live like this anymore lol
Fuck erythritol.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Sat Aug 11 22:57:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96mvcu/fuck_erythritol/
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Thought I found the perfect sugar substitute but nope, Iām lying here in agony as the sugar alcohol wrecks my insides.
[Rant/Rave] Ate at maintenance today after a week of bingeing
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5" | CW:127 | 21.1 | -72 | 20M]
Created: Sat Aug 11 22:52:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96mudr/ate_at_maintenance_today_after_a_week_of_bingeing/
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I was having really extreme binges every day for almost a week (some shitty life stuff triggered it), and today I ate at my maintenance (1700ish). That's still much more than I normally eat, but I feel so relieved that I'm getting back on track finally, and not actively doing damage anymore. Tomorrow I'll be back to my 1200 max!
Now to just undo the 6lbs I've put on!!
Just got peach- am confused
/u/800goat [5'6"| CW::cake: | GW: 106| M]
Created: Sat Aug 11 22:31:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96mqg3/just_got_peach_am_confused/
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I've heard you guys talk about peach a lot so I finally got it. My username is 800goat. Comment your usernames and I'll add you? What do you guys use the app for?
[Rant/Rave] I don't know what I actually look like anymore
/u/avocados_on_toast [168cm | CW: 50kg | 17.7 | weight lost: 20kg | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 22:02:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96mkhp/i_dont_know_what_i_actually_look_like_anymore/
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I feel like my BDD has gotten out of control and I can't get away from it. I'm having some other health issues such as stomach problems that make me bloated to the point of looking pregnant all day every day which doesn't help (unsure if this is from my constant extreme restricting but it's being looked into). I don't know what I actually look like without all of this bloating and with the BDD playing into it, it intensifies the negative view I have. It all just seems like this huge mess and I feel disgusting.
[Goal] Two week liquid fast... watch me shrink
/u/dreamedotcom
Created: Sat Aug 11 21:49:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96mho1/two_week_liquid_fast_watch_me_shrink/
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Hi everyone, you may of heard me moaning the past two weeks as Iāve been binging after hitting a LW. I will be starting a two week liquid fast tomorrow, and posting body checks and āmealsā daily, along with my results.
Iāve just added peach to document this so would love some friends on there for encouragement, accountability, or DO IT WITH ME.
User name is dreamerdotcom
Have been too scared to weigh myself but will check my start weight tomorrow. Am hoping for 5 kg or to get back to my low weight 55kg but not sure if that it possible as I canāt exercise due to injuries. Wish me luck š
Why does Psyllium Taste so freakin good?
/u/Hairless_Human [6' | CW 155.8 | BMI 21.1 | WL -124.2 |M 21]
Created: Sat Aug 11 21:44:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96mgm3/why_does_psyllium_taste_so_freakin_good/
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If this stuff didn't fill me up I might accidentally binge the whole freakin tub of it.
What the hell is going on with my weight?
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Sat Aug 11 21:39:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96mfpv/what_the_hell_is_going_on_with_my_weight/
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Ok so my starting weight was 44 kg. Then, I binged over maintenance about 800 calories each day for three days straight... when I weighed in after, my weight was 44.2 kg. I ate at maintenance. The next day, I weighed in at 44.4 kg. Then, that night, I ate 400 calories over maintenance again! But when I weighed myself this morning, my scale said that I am back to 44 kg! My scale is well calibrated- I check every morning!
What the hell is going on?
Welp my husband might be fired from his job and Iām not working so weāre drinking our sadness away with Aperol Spritz
/u/Golddustwomanstusk
Created: Sat Aug 11 21:33:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96mehm/welp_my_husband_might_be_fired_from_his_job_and/
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Mines mostly seltzer water and a dash of Aperol. Still delicious. FML!
Have you had trouble with your eating behaviours? A survey about thoughts and feelings about eating behaviours directed at all types of eating disorders
/u/PsychHon-student
Created: Sat Aug 11 21:16:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96matz/have_you_had_trouble_with_your_eating_behaviours/
---
The eating disorders research team at Deakin University are seeking to better understand the thoughts and feelings that may lead to episodes of binge eating and compensatory behaviours that impact on everyday life.
If you have experienced difficulty with your eating behaviours and are interested in contributing to a research project, we encourage you to follow the link below. Participation in this research project involved the completion of a series of questionnaires related to eating behaviours, as well as thoughts, feelings and urges thought to be associated with difficulties with eating behaviours. This questionnaire is likely to take between 30-45 minutes to complete.
Thank you for your extremely generous contribution to our research.
https://deakinsurveys.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cLVH2rmo4vEsbUV
[Help] App recommendations?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 20:59:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96m71o/app_recommendations/
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Not strictly ED related, but does anyone have recommendations for a meditation and gratitude app that they like? Iām trying to work on bettering. my mental health and thought some of you might be as well.
"I'm not disordered"
/u/strawstring [5'10 | CW ugh | -40kg | 21F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 20:27:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96m097/im_not_disordered/
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**Proceeds to eat and attempt to purge an entire cheesecake and 12 donuts, doesn't ingest anything but black coffee for 60 hours, cries over a 300 cal sandwich, then purges 3 dates.
But I ate a real dinner so I'm fine!!!
DAE not really compare themselves to anyone else?
/u/Cactuseye [5'1.5| CW 156/7 | SW 162 | GW1 125 | 20f]
Created: Sat Aug 11 20:17:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96lxv9/dae_not_really_compare_themselves_to_anyone_else/
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I'm not into thinspo in any way, I don't really care about how much other people weight. I'll occasionally look up somebody else's bmi or something as morbidly curiousity but it doesn't bother me. To me it's nothing but comparing myself to myself, I just kinda don't care about what other people eat or look like, It's not my business and isn't something I'm comfortable doing.
i had a 100cal packet of hot cocoa
/u/congratty
Created: Sat Aug 11 19:56:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96lt7d/i_had_a_100cal_packet_of_hot_cocoa/
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no water. just the dry ass mf powdered cocoa.
crumch.
not good enough
/u/httpram
Created: Sat Aug 11 19:46:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96lqvy/not_good_enough/
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i met this girl recently and sheās so so cute and funny but i know sheāll never like me back because my thighs are way too fat and my arms too. my neck is too chubby and i feel like my short hair only makes it stand out more... itās really a shame ):
[Discussion] Anybody lost a few kgs of water weight after not purging for a few days or is that not a thing?
/u/edthrowawayy123
Created: Sat Aug 11 19:11:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96liwo/anybody_lost_a_few_kgs_of_water_weight_after_not/
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Just wanna know if Iām just a big olā water balloon right now
Do any of you have a food that you've been fantasizing about for months but haven't let yourself have it?
/u/Highoffempty [5'9 | 138 | GW: 120 | UGW: 108 | Lbs Lost: 22]
Created: Sat Aug 11 18:41:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96lbxa/do_any_of_you_have_a_food_that_youve_been/
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I'm vegan and my family eats really healthy food and always has. I didn't have candy/dessert hardly ever growing up.
When we used to have desserts, it was either homemade from scratch or something not totally unhealthy. In my food pantry you'd never find processed foods, etc. I eat processed stuff now because if it's 0 calorie I don't care anymore.
For months I have wanted to go to the grocery store (not Whole Foods or a specialty store, but like a regular grocery store), buy one of their large vanilla birthday sheet cakes with an insane amount of frosting from the bakery section and just sit and eat it all by myself. I want that so badly.
A homemade cake or a high quality cake won't take care of it...I want the one with the frosting made from crisco and decorating made from even more frosting.
I want it so much sometimes I feel like crying. It is so absurd.
Is there a food that you can't have that you can't stop thinking about? Or is it just me?
[Discussion] Purposely triggering yourself for restriction fuel gets real dark real fast.
/u/missyou0111
Created: Sat Aug 11 18:09:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96l4ht/purposely_triggering_yourself_for_restriction/
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[Other] TFW you start pushing everyone away and become a recluse because of your ED
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Sat Aug 11 18:02:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96l2zo/tfw_you_start_pushing_everyone_away_and_become_a/
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https://i.redd.it/xe2of1nnzjf11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Depression Diet
/u/SepiaShebia [5'1 | CW: 106.6 | 20.1 | GW: 98 | 18F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 18:01:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96l2o8/depression_diet/
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I've been syringe feeding baby flying squirrels for a couple weeks now, since they were a couple days old.
This morning I realized they were missing from their cage. I frantically searched for hours before giving up since they couldn't have survived that long due to inability to maintain body temperature anyway. Besides, there are cats. Though there's no blood on the fleece and heating pad where they were kept, and they were inside a wire mesh cage, so the whole thing is kind of crazy.
It's bewildering and so painful that I won't even be able to have the closure of knowing what happened to my babies.
However, since it's always important to find the silver lining, at least I finally broke out of my plateau and wooshed to 105lb.
I'm sure I'll gain some of that back once in rehydrated and not bawling so much, but then again maybe not since I can't imagine letting myself eat when it's my fault these helpless baby animals are dead.
Tldr: The baby squirrels Ive been caring for are dead, I'm shit at coping, and lost a little weight.
[Rant/Rave] wowie i hate myself
/u/manfromanother-place [5ā1.75 | CW:104 GW:98 | 19.2 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 17:43:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96kyji/wowie_i_hate_myself/
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i was happy with my weight for all of 2 days but then i realized iām still fat and not even underweight! (pathetic) time for a new goal weight babez āļø
Why am I always craving food, but never hungry?
/u/PM-MEYOURDICKPICS
Created: Sat Aug 11 17:37:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96kx3n/why_am_i_always_craving_food_but_never_hungry/
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I'm never hungry but I always seem to "want" food....
It's a weird feeling, I can control it but it's weird to keep myself in check with thinking about food and not eating it.
I can't explain it, I know I'm full and I know I don't need to eat but I'm always like "yeah....food..." "mmmmm bananas" "get more yogurt"
I can't be alone with this
I just got told Iām not skinny
/u/chloelouiise [5'6 | 136 | 21.95 | -86 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 16:45:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96kklk/i_just_got_told_im_not_skinny/
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Can I kill myself now please
[Help] can scales suddenly become wrong?
/u/altoristics [5'3 | HW 128 | CW 110 | UGW 90ish| F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 16:43:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96kk0f/can_scales_suddenly_become_wrong/
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Iām kind of confused about whether or not my new scale is wrong. I know itās slightly off (5kg/11lb weight weighing as 4.8kg/10.5lb) but it seemed relatively accurate when i weighed myself as on Thursday, as the weight was similar to what I weighed on my parentās analog scale on Tuesday. I weighed myself this morning (Sunday) and seem to have lost quite a lot which doesnāt seem likely. I wasnāt wearing clothes tho which I had been wearing on my other weigh-inās. The amount wasnāt improbable, but more like the kind of weight Iād expect to lose if I had been fasting for a while.
Essentially my question is: can scales suddenly become wrong?
[Rant/Rave] Binging :((
/u/srh01
Created: Sat Aug 11 16:16:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96kdh9/binging/
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So I've basically just been eating coffee and cucumbers with salsa/mustard/spices since Monday, and today my mom made me go out to lunch with her. I ordered the one vegan option, a roasted veggie wrap and a side salad, and ended up eating literally the entire thing, in addition to like eight of her potato chips--I feel like it was 2500 calories even though logically it probably wasn't.
And now I feel so heavy and bloated, and we drove like two hours after we finished eating so I didn't have the chance to purge, but I'm about to. It sucks so much and I feel so gross, like I've just gained a million pounds. I don't plan on eating till tomorrow night at the earliest, and as soon as move back to school in a week, I'm going on a cucumber mono, but I still feel so fat.
Super random and kinda gross, sorry. Just needed to rant
This sub helps me with a girl I'm dating
/u/mattluttrell
Created: Sat Aug 11 16:14:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96kcss/this_sub_helps_me_with_a_girl_im_dating/
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Many issues I read about are things I've experienced. It's nice to hear your rants and other perspectives.
[Other] (Art) (Mild gore) I call this āChokedā
/u/CrushedOats
Created: Sat Aug 11 15:04:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96jv31/art_mild_gore_i_call_this_choked/
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https://i.redd.it/e8g5irrx3jf11.jpg
Suicide by anorexia
/u/thrownawaykalbi [5'7"|CW 101lbs|BMI 15.7|SW 108lbs|21F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 14:59:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96jtsx/suicide_by_anorexia/
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Does anybody else try to lose weight BECAUSE of the health risks, and not in spite of them?
I keep fantasizing about it and I think it's one of the main driving factors of my ED.
I have this fucked up goal of becoming so weak and thin that my body can't keep up with itself and I just shut down and have a heart attack or something. Or just wilt away and die in my sleep.
I doubt it would actually be that easy or peaceful but a girl can dream.
Yep, I'm fucked up.
[Discussion] Goal weights
/u/Sergosass
Created: Sat Aug 11 14:56:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96jsyd/goal_weights/
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How do you guys set goal weights for yourself? I try to come up with some system for myself, because after reaching goals I plan to maintain for a while to remember what itās like. My idea was to go with BMI points. What do you think?
How do you deal with concentration?
/u/fishareswim
Created: Sat Aug 11 14:29:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96jluh/how_do_you_deal_with_concentration/
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I'm doing my MSc and I have to eat something to maintain concentration and not feel light headed so I can actually get work done. Anyone have any tips?
Boyfriends at breakfast
/u/eatmysnailtrail
Created: Sat Aug 11 14:24:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96jknb/boyfriends_at_breakfast/
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We woke up together, āletās go to breakfastā. I donāt like to eat breakfast but love to go with him cause heās busy all the time. āLetās drive separately, I need to drive far to work todayā bummer but okay fine. We arrive. I order two eggs and wheat toast. Arrived three eggs and toast, I smile, look up at him and tell him āoooh bonus eggā. He doesnāt look up from the paper and says ābonus 90 caloriesā.
Way to make me feel so shitty. He def knows about my food weirdness. I ate one egg and took a bite of toast and pushed my food around my plate.
[Tip] If you like saving thinspo to your iPhone...
/u/EDthrowaway8888 [5'6 | CW 145.2 | BMI 23.3 | Weight Lost 20.6 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 14:23:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96jkgb/if_you_like_saving_thinspo_to_your_iphone/
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You can save the photos to your notes and lock them. Go to settings and enable your notes to be locked using facial recognition or a password. I just moved all my photos to notes and locked them up. Makes me feel better knowing nobody will stumble upon them.
[Discussion] Thoughts on the Netflix series Insatiable?
/u/PM-MEYOURDICKPICS
Created: Sat Aug 11 14:20:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96jjln/thoughts_on_the_netflix_series_insatiable/
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[Thinspo] If you like saving thinspo to your iPhone...
/u/EDthrowaway8888 [5'6 | CW 145.2 | BMI 23.3 | Weight Lost 20.6 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 14:20:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96jjjg/if_you_like_saving_thinspo_to_your_iphone/
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You can save photos to notes and lock them. Much better than saving them to your camera roll and risk having them be found by suspicious eyes. You can go to settings and opt to lock notes with a password or use facial recognition.
[Rant/Rave] Tagged in awful photos and I want to die
/u/Fibreoptic_Calico
Created: Sat Aug 11 14:04:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96jfb3/tagged_in_awful_photos_and_i_want_to_die/
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Oh my god. So I went to an event earlier in the year. I got very drunk and did some small group pics. I tried to look like I was having fun, and they got the pics back and I look fucking awful.
This is how I look in real life. This is how others see me.
I've lost 9lbs since then, but my face is hideous and somehow I've managed a huge double chin.
I just want to curl up and never come out again until I lose another 6million stone.
Sorry for the princess dramatics, but the realisation that this is what I look like and even when I hit target I'll still look like an ugly ham planet just kills me inside. I feel so low.
Just needed to vent I guess šš
Is my lowest weight during the day my actual weight?
/u/PM-MEYOURDICKPICS
Created: Sat Aug 11 14:02:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96jesk/is_my_lowest_weight_during_the_day_my_actual/
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So, my scale fluctuates 4 pounds through out the day.
Is the lowest weight I see my actual weight?
[Help] Can someone please add me back into the binge prevention group?
/u/CharlieJScarper [5'0.5" | 92.8lbs | 17.8 | FTM:cat_blep:]
Created: Sat Aug 11 13:38:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96j88b/can_someone_please_add_me_back_into_the_binge/
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I am really sorry about this, but none of my messages were sending for some reason? So I left (intending to rejoin) and didn't realise that I can't do that without an invite!
What should I do if I still can't send the messages??? It just says 'message failed to send' btw
You done flapped the wrong jack, sucka
/u/ScottSteinerPhD [5'8" | CW: 109 | 16.4 | 30M]
Created: Sat Aug 11 13:18:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96j2xd/you_done_flapped_the_wrong_jack_sucka/
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Y'all, I had pancakes from McDonald's and it was an awful mistake. Five hundred calories and they tasted like delicious misery disguised as cardboard and corn syrup.
Now I gotta exercise off these calories while feeling as bloated as the Statepuff Marshmallow Man. Plus, I used up my calories for a date I have today.
Pray4ScottSteiner, guys.
[Goal] Finally under 130!
/u/CakeandAss
Created: Sat Aug 11 12:42:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96itha/finally_under_130/
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OMG! Guys Iām so happy I could cry. Iām finally under 130! Woke up and weighed myself this morning, I weighed 129! I havenāt been under 130 in 3 years! Iām just so proud of myself, my boyfriend just doesnāt understand the excitement so I needed to post it somewhere. This definitely motivates me to keep going.
do you guys have breakfast?
/u/-sadgarden [1,82cm | M]
Created: Sat Aug 11 12:41:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96it9b/do_you_guys_have_breakfast/
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i usually love to skip breakfast since im so tired in the morning that i dont even think about eating at all.
and knowing that i havent ingested any calories at all today also lifts my mood. its gives me a good feeling and im having way less binging urges throughout the day.
but know ive heard that not eating breakfast significantly slows down your metabolism for the day. i dont think theres soo much truth to it that i should be concerned, but im still kinda anxious.
so what do you usually do?
and what do you think about the whole thing?
would it be better if i force myself to eat something small like an apple in the morning or is the effect negligable?
[Rant/Rave] Haha I hate myself
/u/almc879213
Created: Sat Aug 11 12:31:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96iqos/haha_i_hate_myself/
---
https://i.redd.it/d1p9jagocif11.jpg
[Discussion] They have no clue
/u/audreyhepburnwho
Created: Sat Aug 11 12:20:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96inia/they_have_no_clue/
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Didn't know how else to title this. So most days at work I'll have a salad for lunch, from the cafeterias salad buffet. No dressing, nothing . Usually just lettuce, tomatoes, eggplant, zucchini and maybe mushrooms. I never add stuff like cheese or croutons or egg, nothing with actual substance.... But no one ever questions it. Sometimes however I'll skip lunch completely claiming Im not hungry and they start bombarding me with questions like what I had for breakfast... Even though, the salad i usually it has a ridiculously small amount of calories. The other day, i brought a soy yogurt. It was a total of 250 calories because it's a big portion. I got bombarded eith questions again!! "thats all you're eating??? Yogurt isn't lunch!" now explain to me how is eating yogurt any worse than having a few lettuce leaves an zucchini slices. Come on people lol. I should be thankful because i never get questioned on the salads which makes it so easy to restrict.
[Rant/Rave] Why do i do this?
/u/swankarma [5'5 | CW: 126 | 20.9 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 12:04:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ij8z/why_do_i_do_this/
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I just ābingedā on 4 chicken tenders and now i hate myself :) :)
[Tip] My rules for the past 4 years. I added #8 after seeing a recent post
/u/PomegranateObsessor
Created: Sat Aug 11 12:04:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ij52/my_rules_for_the_past_4_years_i_added_8_after/
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https://i.redd.it/0elwwxsq7if11.jpg
I can't escape from this disease
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 115 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 11:58:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ihlw/i_cant_escape_from_this_disease/
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I'm so fucking angry with myself. I've lowkey struggled with this for the last 6 years, but I managed to keep it under control so I wouldn't ever get too too low of a weight and so no one would notice. But 2 years ago everything changed. I fell really deep into depression and oof it got real bad. I've been to the hospital 4 times since then and I just got out of residential... I was in there for like 5 months. The last month I was in there I completely bullshited so I could leave because I didn't want to be there anymore.
Over the months so many people came and went, I just had to get out. But I'm honestly unchanged. Still calorie counting. Still restricting. Still drinking lots of diet sodas and coffee.
Wish I could just stop.
(Update) to my controversial "roommates trying keto" post yesterday
/u/starvy_punk
Created: Sat Aug 11 11:48:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96iexv/update_to_my_controversial_roommates_trying_keto/
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So these fuckers went and dropped easily $250 on all kinds of cheese and meats like pepperoni and fancy cold cuts and all kinds of kEtO bread and shit, crackers and shit.... and you know what i *dont* see in the fridge? A damn single vegetable.
Im sure plenty of people have lost *mad weight* on keto and i could care either way but this is like uggghhh this is why some people that have lost weight restricting cant *stand* people *gOiNg kEtO* so they can eat a bunch of savory trash and not be able to understand why theyre not losing.
š fuck this dumb shit š
Debate benfits or whatever, they on that dumb shit.
[Help] How??? Is this possible or am I being faked out by the scale?
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Sat Aug 11 11:46:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ieex/how_is_this_possible_or_am_i_being_faked_out_by/
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Yesterday I b/p at least 3-4 times. Big ones too. Figured for sure I would wake up heavier but I woke up at a new LW??? I did walk a lot yesterday and go to the gym but how is this possible? Should i expect to see the scale go back up? it went down by like 0.5 pounds in a day instead of up
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I look the same as 10kg ago
/u/HulderVette
Created: Sat Aug 11 11:02:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96i23h/i_feel_like_i_look_the_same_as_10kg_ago/
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A while ago I thought I would look good and skinny at 55kg, but Iām getting close and I feel like there is no difference to be seen. I still see myself as a blob of excessive fat.
At this point Iām pretty sure Iāll never see myself as skinny, no matter how much I lose and itās frustrating. Itās also a little scary, because if I never see the results I want I might not ever stop.
House is filled with my binge foods- can anyone give me advice/motivation?
/u/ProbablyNeedGlasses
Created: Sat Aug 11 10:47:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96hxze/house_is_filled_with_my_binge_foods_can_anyone/
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For the next few weeks we have a lot of family in town, so we have stocked up on a lot of different food to have on hand for snacks and meals. Of course my mom also happened to grab all of my binge foods at the store so now Iām just sitting here with massive quantities of these temptations, knowing that nobody would notice if I ate them.
Can anyone say SOMETHING to help me just say āf*ck youā to these stupid foods and avoid making myself sick by binging?
I feel like Iām at a fork in the road and could make it a good day or just totally screw up by opening up the pantry.
[Discussion] I wish I could cut my fat off
/u/ImDestinedToDie [5'6.5|Shrek's Jealous|GW: 114 |Female]
Created: Sat Aug 11 10:43:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96hx0v/i_wish_i_could_cut_my_fat_off/
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Itās just been a compulsion Iāve had since I was younger. I use a knife to dig into the areas with a lot of fat that I want gone.
I just wish I could be happy honestly.
I've never admitted my ED to anyone, so here you go, Reddit!
/u/GloomyCup [5'11" | 135 | 19 | 30 | Female]
Created: Sat Aug 11 10:36:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96hv1e/ive_never_admitted_my_ed_to_anyone_so_here_you_go/
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Edit: Putting into words how absolutely ridiculous this is has opened my eyes a bit. There's no way a person can go from looking like Christy Carlson Romano to Lena Dunham with a few pounds.
**Life at 139 and under**: (I think I look like [Christy Carlson Romano](https://www.google.com/search?q=christy+carlson+romano&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=Pzx56p96pOx8QM%253A%252Ci-WGyU2xR5EGDM%252C_&usg=AFrqEzeH145COTOQ1nV7F8CNQDrcHdWifQ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi99oTztuXcAhWorlQKHQDeAkMQ_h0wGXoECAgQDw#imgrc=3J9jd5j0nu648M:)) I found it so hard to stop restricting when I was getting such positive feedback from the opposite sex. I take my clothes off and their jaws drop. They tell me my body is gorgeous and they've never seen anything like it before. I'm now married and my husband is all over me. I'm more outgoing and confident. I love the way I look in photos. I'm the person I've always wanted to be, and I can get even thinner!
**Life at 140 and over**: (I think I look like [Lena Dunham](https://www.google.com/search?q=lena+dunham&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjQitmNt-XcAhX0ITQIHYVsBTsQ_AUICygC&biw=1567&bih=816#imgrc=bFPhAuUwrBvFeM:)) I feel like a completely different person. I don't leave my house. I cry all the time. I have no libido. I'm late for work constantly because I can't find clothes that don't make me look like and ugly fat girl. I don't walk around in public because I don't want anyone to look at me. I don't feel worthy of anything. Its like night and day.
Is this typical? Can anyone else relate?
[Goal] I hit my lowest!!!
/u/fweakybby [5ā5ā | 132| 22.0 | 68lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 10:09:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96hnob/i_hit_my_lowest/
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Omg for the first time in a long time I smiled after weighing myself. 128! Only 8 lbs away from goal weight.
Today, I ate some more food and my sex drive kicked in. I got erection for the first time in months.
/u/johnlee8219
Created: Sat Aug 11 10:08:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96hnbq/today_i_ate_some_more_food_and_my_sex_drive/
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https://i.redd.it/kwtmsj22nhf11.png
[Help] Are you guys seeing a specialist or therapist? Does it help?
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Sat Aug 11 09:43:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96hgdu/are_you_guys_seeing_a_specialist_or_therapist/
---
Well... it doesnt seem to be helping me. I am trying to lose weight now. Shrink might wants me to get admitted if I lose.. I am taking meds just because I am visiting her for refill prescription. I dont know what to do, shrink said i am not progressing. Any advice? I need my meds and lose 2kg. currently at 40kg , wish for 38kg.
[Rant/Rave] Pop Fountain Paranoia
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 105 | 19.2 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 09:23:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96hb3c/pop_fountain_paranoia/
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I wish I could get a coke zero from the machines at places again without the overwhelming paranoia that they hooked up the machines wrong. I wish I could order a diet pop from a drive thru and not panic in sweats that they chose to fill it up regular, or again, hooked up the machines wrong.
I can only drink sealed beverages. It drives me insane.
[Rant/Rave] Lost 7 lbs. This Past Month My Dad Says I Look Sick
/u/kelly_kelli [5'4 | CW:207lbs. | SW: 220 (1/1/18) | GW: 145lbs.]
Created: Sat Aug 11 09:01:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96h5ca/lost_7_lbs_this_past_month_my_dad_says_i_look_sick/
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I hadn't seen my parents in a couple of weeks so they noticed I lost a little bit of weight. My mom said," you can tell you're losing weight. Just remember to eat." My dad said, "You're looking pale and sick." Thanks dad. I don't hate my dad, it's just that where they're from, if you're fat, you have money to feed yourself. They're just used to our family being fat.
[Rant/Rave] I hate being broken
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 08:51:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96h2sa/i_hate_being_broken/
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Iām such a mess. I hate this disorder. I hate that I ate so much yesterday because I was at a music festival and wanted to have fun. I hate how much I drink. I hate that I need to. I hate that Iām sitting here feeling the most depressed I have in a very long time just trying not to cry because of a boy - I canāt believe I let myself get in so deep with someone who never intended on staying. I thought Iād be good enough some day but Iām just not. I feel bloated and huge and annoying and broken. I want to fade away
Donāt encourage me
/u/warmcorgi53
Created: Sat Aug 11 08:49:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96h2ia/dont_encourage_me/
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I work in a busy, crowded restaurant on weekends. I am just under 100 pounds, so Iām able to weave through people and the tables with ease in order to grab plates, silverware, food etc. This man the other day noticed me flying back-and-forth around the restaurant floor. He stopped me and said āwell itās a good thing youāre skinny!ā I just laughed awkwardly and continued to work. Part of me felt relieved to hear that, because recently I have been feeling heavier due to eating higher volume foods. The other part of me that is in the recovery mindset is worried because I know Iām supposed to be putting on weight.
[Rant/Rave] Top secret tip against hunger, doctors hate it..
/u/Imaginary_Air
Created: Sat Aug 11 08:47:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96h21c/top_secret_tip_against_hunger_doctors_hate_it/
---
Well get fucking dumped by your SO, bonus points if the relationship is great and you both really love each other. Or so he says, but he doesn't want to continue now he is going to be way too busy and stressed. So yeah, that happened, my heart is shattered. The greatest thing about it is though that my appetite and hunger have completely disappeared. I mean I used to have really fucked eating habits, went from way too skinny to binging my way back up to borderline overweight. My ex actually really helped with seeing how a normal person eats and thanks to him my eating habits had normalized. Oh well, now my heart feels shattered and I have not been able to eat at first at all, now about a week later my hunger is still gone, it's great. Honestly had no intention to go back to restriction, but it's so easy now, don't even get hungry at all and I don't even struggle while exercising, maybe I'll finally lose the pounds I still need to lose this way, I mean it can't be hard.. Ugh, hope he never reads this sub man, het tells me to take care of myself, lol. To be fair though he meant that I shouldn't cut, maybe he cares when he sees me surprisingly skinny the next time he sees me..
[Rant/Rave] When you lose a bunch of weight..
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Sat Aug 11 08:38:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96gztz/when_you_lose_a_bunch_of_weight/
---
...and the only thing doesn't fit anymore is your bras.
Found my new motto today
/u/cafesitoconpan [5ā5ā | CW:145 | BMI: 24.4 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 08:11:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96gtcq/found_my_new_motto_today/
---
https://i.redd.it/1vbxyb7a2hf11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] [rave] Sweet sweet victory: the story of one girl and her woosh
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: IDK, TOO MUCH| GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 08:04:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96grm5/rave_sweet_sweet_victory_the_story_of_one_girl/
---
Hi! I posted yesterday about doing my first fast in a while and I did it!! I broke my fast with some pecans and macadamia nuts, and Iām still not very hungry and feel fine.
I have been restricting/doing heavy cardio/Keto for weeks now and havenāt really seen results (not even the water weight I was told Iād lose) but I stepped on the scale and I lost 5 lbs over the last two days. I know itās primarily water weight but frankly I do not care. Seeing that number has me SO happy and motivated to keep going. I donāt wanna let myself get as low as I got before treatment, because I know that means trouble, but Iām only about 15 lbs away from my happy weight now!!
Iām gonna try to either keep another fast going or do a fat fast today and just try to see how much I can accomplish before going back to work this week!!
[Rant/Rave] My dreams are telling me something
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 131.8 | 20.19 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 07:46:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96gnmz/my_dreams_are_telling_me_something/
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Last nights edition included a scene in which I met Aziz Ansari and he told me Iām āgetting chunkyā. Ok subconscious I hear ya loud and clear
[Help] Tips for restaurants??
/u/PrettyPrettyTrini [5'6.5 | CW 175 | GW 135 | BMI 27.4 | WL 0 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 07:36:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96glga/tips_for_restaurants/
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Hey everyone! I hope youāre all having a blessed morning.
What are some tips for restaurant eating with others that you canāt avoid?
[Discussion] How tf do I get over this
/u/I_love_abortion [5'1| CW122 |BMI 23|GW100 | ]
Created: Sat Aug 11 07:17:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ghdr/how_tf_do_i_get_over_this/
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I am back to the point of feeling so uncomfortable with my current weight that I dread getting dressed and going out in public. It almost feels worse than ever because I was able to restrict to reach my goal weight last year. I canāt stop mentally comparing my now body to my then body. Iāve disclosed some of this to my current boyfriend. We started dating almost two months ago, Iām crazy about him. He has a hard time climaxing during sex, and has basically attributed it to various minor health issues and meds. He rarely gets off when we have sex. I was doing an ok job of not taking it personally. Last night, during sex, he told me he wanted to turn on porn. I was instantly devastated. I cried, I told him it wasnāt his fault and I wasnāt mad at him, and I left. I feel so disgusting. I feel so ashamed, like my body is so grotesque that he needs to focus on other women to be able to get off during sex with me. I care about him so much, I donāt want to lose him, but I canāt even wrap my mind around ever being comfortable having sex with him again. How could I think about anything but how disappointed and dissatisfied he must be with me and my body? Should I try to muster up hope that I can work through this? Any suggestions or feedback?
Kinda uncomfortable to inhale / exhale after taking bronkaid. Is this normal?
/u/missyou0111
Created: Sat Aug 11 07:14:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ggsh/kinda_uncomfortable_to_inhale_exhale_after_taking/
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Iām sure itās not a big deal. But yeah, when I do a big inhale, itās like my lungs kinda sore. Idk.
So I guess binges arenāt all that bad?
/u/gldedbttrfly [5'5 | CW 128 | GW 110]
Created: Sat Aug 11 07:12:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96gg9y/so_i_guess_binges_arent_all_that_bad/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/96dw8v/how_i_utilized_diet_breaks_to_achieve_my_goal/
[Discussion] can anyone else pinpoint their ed back to one moment?
/u/lawsoflife [5'5'' | CW: 177 GW: 110 | -33 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 06:55:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96gch1/can_anyone_else_pinpoint_their_ed_back_to_one/
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i remember one day my dad offering me $20 to lose 10 pounds in 4th grade and then just sighing and going āI mean, do you want to be the fat kid in your class for the rest of your life?ā he probably doesnāt even remember it and would deny it but I think about it literally every single day :)
skinny comeback is a no-go
/u/lawsoflife [5'5'' | CW: 181 GW: 110 | -29 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 11 06:45:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96gagl/skinny_comeback_is_a_nogo/
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haha school starts in like a week and sorority rush starts in a few days and I was supposed to be like 15 pounds lighter than I am by now :-) fasting today and tomorrow and then going on a liquid diet next week to see what damage I can fix ugh why do I put nearly unattainable goals on myself
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! August 11, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 11 06:11:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96g3mu/stupid_questions_saturday_august_11_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for August 11, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! August 11, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 11 06:10:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96g3i1/daily_food_diary_august_11_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 11, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Time Warp
/u/MindlessOperation
Created: Sat Aug 11 05:58:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96g18w/time_warp/
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my LW was 98 pounds, after a 3 day fast and under a heavy restricting period partly due to being prescribed adderall for my ADHD. after that point, iāve gained more weight than i have in a long time and now am back to around 113.
obviously iāve been extremely uncomfortable and emotional with this change, although this was partly due to the belief that i gained this weight back over the course of a couple months, max 4.
today, i was going through my camera roll, and found the picture i took of my scale when i weighed in at 98 (i wanted to confirm later that it had actually happened), and it was dated the end of January, 7 months ago.
it freaked me out because for months iāve been convinced i had gained the weight in a couple months- saying ā2 months agoā etc.
has anyone had something similar happen? where their weight/image delusions morphed into time delusions?
I have a first date in 2 hours and I'm hyperentilating.
/u/min_imalist [āŖ h: 5'0 | cw: 65lbs | bmi: 12.5 | F āŖ]
Created: Sat Aug 11 05:14:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96fts2/i_have_a_first_date_in_2_hours_and_im/
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He wants to go eat and then walk around and talk about our feelings and possible relationship, and there are several problems with that:
* Eating ^duh I'm not sure I'll be able to purge properly in time.
* The place he chose to go is *really expensive* and I'm even more broke than usual.
* I'm worried he'll insist on paying for me too, which leads to
* I'm worried that I won't be able to offer what he wants in the relationship. My emotions are dull and weak, and I have NO sex drive whatsoever. I'm bony and gross, my skin is frail and full of scars and bruises, I grow fine hair all over my body and I have these gross enlarged lymph nodes that make me look like a bullfrog.
I'm afraid that I'll either
a) drive him away when he realizes I'm just not *normal*, or
b) chicken out halfway through and he'll get frustrated with me and probably expect something in return, which I just *can not offer*
I'm so scared, guys. He's a really really nice guy, and I'm a mess. I actually lowkey *want* this relationship to happen, but I'm just.. me. I can't allow myself to talk about myself or it'll turn into a Tragic Backstory^TM and it'll be awful.
I'm sorry for ranting, I just.. don't have anywhere else to rant.
I hope you're all having a good day, and keeping cool and hydrated.
Do i have an ED???!
/u/Bluepenguin999
Created: Sat Aug 11 04:22:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96flse/do_i_have_an_ed/
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I am 170cm and 56kg....
I think i have an ED, i never eat lunch or breakfast only dinner, restrict so much and i feel like i am not good enough unless i am a size extra small. I feel so horrible looking in the mirror before i shower i feel disgustingly fat and am so embarrassed of my stomach and legs even though people would probably consider me skinny. Since i dont eat all day i end up binging a lot and its a constant cycle of guilt. I used to weigh 50kg and i want to get back to that because if i dont i feel like im a failure. I have no idea what to do anymore i think im hideous to look at not even my weight but my face in general. I think i am the ugliest human on the planet and i wish i was exaggerating that. I used to spit out my food and want to try laxatives, i stoped that but want to do it again.
[Rant/Rave] Misophonia: AKA Death to Loud Chewers
/u/_Pulltab_ [:karma: 5'7"| 26.7| -25.8 | F :karma:]
Created: Sat Aug 11 04:10:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96fjzu/misophonia_aka_death_to_loud_chewers/
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Recently Iāve noticed that when my husband chews food, I want to scream. It literally makes me uncomfortable and I have to remove myself. Itās not all the time, but is frequent, especially with anything hard or crunchy. Like, itās someone scraping the inside of my brain with a rusty nail. I often have the same reaction to my cat licking itself if itās sitting next to me. This is all new.
I did some research and found that this condition is often comorbid to ED. But I didnāt find a lot to suggest it suddenly onsets following the onset of an ED. This was never an issue for me before now. Iāve had disordered eating most of my life but I would say thereās been a shift in to actual ED in the last few months. The misophonia started about a month ago but I didnāt really realize thatās what it was until last night. At first I thought I was just generally pissed off and annoyed because Iām restricting so heavily.
Anyone else find it just sort of appeared?
Hate it when people comment on my food, especially the amount.
/u/brbaaaa
Created: Sat Aug 11 04:06:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96fjcn/hate_it_when_people_comment_on_my_food_especially/
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There's this pizza place near my house that I frequent and the employees know me, and one of them asked the other day "these aren't all for you, are they?" I think it was obvious to them that I am bulimic because I'm extremely underweight but always buy huge amounts...stopped going there since then out of embarrassment. Also the other day I was at a restaurant all by myself and was about to semi-binge, and the waitress literally refused to take my last order because she thought it'd be too much food for me. Sad truth is that I could have and would have finished three times the amount I had ordered lol. I was annoyed at first but then I realized that she probably didn't want me to waste my money and felt bad. Still, I just wish people wouldn't comment on my food, well-intended or not.
Body - Mother, Mother. Perfect ED-song, not sure why 'Oh Ana' gets all the credit.
/u/cocionut
Created: Sat Aug 11 03:59:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96fi6v/body_mother_mother_perfect_edsong_not_sure_why_oh/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o0WYiK52Dg
Smoking in the park and Elliott Smith's Pictures of Me comes up on shuffle. Realised it's the perfect ED song. (TW)
/u/Joelle-Van-Dyne [24F | 5'6 | BMI ~17 | London | š pgoat]
Created: Sat Aug 11 03:23:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96fcxf/smoking_in_the_park_and_elliott_smiths_pictures/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSEfpZLMgTQ
[Discussion] Starved (the to show)
/u/lvalmp
Created: Sat Aug 11 03:11:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96fb0o/starved_the_to_show/
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Would love to have IRL ED friends like this
[Rant/Rave] Give me strength T_T
/u/BunnyAwesome [5'7"| F | CW 130 | GW 110]
Created: Sat Aug 11 02:20:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96f391/give_me_strength_t_t/
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I'm at work in an office on my own and i already ate my lunch but there's this goddamn box of snacks- PEANUTS! JELLIES! GUMMY SWEETS! OAT BARS!
it's just sat there *looking at me* and I've got another 7 hours to go...
located a supply of coke zero but jeez I am going to need to summon some next level self control today š
Will people see/treat me different if I gain a few?
/u/Ekawa [Height 5'3 | CW 110 | -55 |F/22]
Created: Sat Aug 11 02:06:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96f0za/will_people_seetreat_me_different_if_i_gain_a_few/
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Why do I feel like people will see me/value me/treat me differently (worse) if I binge and gain a few pounds? I feel like I have more of a right to believe in myself, stand up for myself and love myself if Iām at a lw but when I binge and purge for the 4th time in a day and and my gag reflex begins to fail me and I gain a few, I feel like I gotta lose this weight before next week or for sure people will treat me different and Iāll be worth less then. I canāt be myself, Iām kind of ashamed and assume the worst and think people hate me if I gain a few pounds. Iām specifically worried because my crush is coming to visit me at work next week and Iām sure heāll be looking and I donāt want to look fat and have him think Iām ugly when heās got all that time to just sit and look and Iām panicking. Why???
[Discussion] Does anyone else have really fucked up thoughts?
/u/Suspicious_Hawk
Created: Sat Aug 11 01:59:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ezuv/does_anyone_else_have_really_fucked_up_thoughts/
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Throwaway because I'm so ashamed of this, but does anyone else have really really messed up fantasies? Like everyone is complaining about that new show Insatiable, but I've definitely had fantasies about having my jaw wired shut and not being able to eat, or getting cancer and being on chemo and losing tons of weight. I know it's so unbelievably messed up to think that way, especially when thousands of people die form cancer every day, but it's what my sicko brain does. Has anyone else dealt with these kind of intrusive thoughts?
[Discussion] DAE eat a binge food to the point of being sick by the taste in hopes that you quit craving it?
/u/new9design
Created: Sat Aug 11 01:38:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ewji/dae_eat_a_binge_food_to_the_point_of_being_sick/
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OR
DAE bring home snack foods to keep around to comfort you, but end up eating it all that day because you canāt have it around you so you gotta get rid of it by eating it so you donāt feel guilty about the money you spent??
[Other] I would have honestly lost my mind if someone purposely messed with my pre-made food.
/u/MyBunnyisMean
Created: Sat Aug 11 00:58:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96epmj/i_would_have_honestly_lost_my_mind_if_someone/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/96b42t/a_friend_sabotaged_my_foodbelongings_and_im_now/
[Rant/Rave] So much for goal weights
/u/myedthrowawaydotcom
Created: Sat Aug 11 00:42:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96emyu/so_much_for_goal_weights/
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Reached my first goal weight on Monday after losing 20kg in the last 10 months with one too many binge relapses and false recovery weeks, and somehow I donāt feel great about myself? I look back at old pictures of myself when I was the same weight as I am now and Iām like oh wow nice, goalsss, canāt believe I thought I was fat back then, I looked good! Aaand then I look in the mirror and Iām like.. really not impressed, like Iām in denial?? Kind of feel like the scale must be wrong, no way I reached my first goal weight and still look fat. Or do I look fat? Who knows anymore hahahahafmlhahaha!!
Iād like to give special thanks to my body dysmorphia, for it wouldnāt have been possible to be here without you xx
It's harder to not binge when I'm NOT hungry
/u/hammerprice
Created: Fri Aug 10 23:54:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ee5k/its_harder_to_not_binge_when_im_not_hungry/
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Anyone else feel this? After I've eaten, for a little while it's a lot harder for me to resist eating more food. Then when I start feeling hungry again, it's actually easier to say no? You'd think it would be the other way around? Or at the very least it would be hard either way.
It's like when I eat, my mind wants to lapse back into mindless eating/stuffing my face. But when I feel a hunger pang, it's like a constant reminder of what I'm trying to do, which keeps me on track.
[Rant/Rave] In Southern Cali for first time
/u/skinnycatholic
Created: Fri Aug 10 23:52:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96edpq/in_southern_cali_for_first_time/
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(21M) Boyfriend's (18M) brother just moved out to Cali. As soon as we greet/hug [brother], he mentions that I am "so small". Part of me feels so happy, and part of me is still in denial that I've let the disease take over again. I know my body dysmorphia is bad right now. I can't eat normally unless I'm high. I have a problem, I know. But you all understand, it's kind of awesome when people notice. And it just fuels the ED.
Bread hack
/u/mowmowmreow
Created: Fri Aug 10 23:31:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96e9nd/bread_hack/
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Just cut that bitch in half. Boom. 2 slices of bread. I just had a whole ass sandwich with only 1 slice of bread. Works best with thicker bread and a sharp knife. This has been a bread hack.
[Rant/Rave] My own therapist downplaying my eating disorder
/u/yupyupyupyupno
Created: Fri Aug 10 22:52:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96e21q/my_own_therapist_downplaying_my_eating_disorder/
---
I've been going to my therapist since March for un-ED-related reasons. But she did her Master's focusing on ED and she's been treating a million ED patients for a million years and for some reason she's so flippant on my own disordered eating?
I know I have one. I don't have a diagnosis. Maybe it's because I'm not over/underweight. Maybe it's not "as bad" as others or I haven't been having ED symptoms until last year. But??? I mean??????
I mentioned binging on Monday to her today, and she told me to list what I ate (which I hate doing because I'm so fucking ashamed). Before I could answer, she said, "you know, because sometimes you'll say 'binge' but it's really just overeating." Saying that things like eating a whole sheet cake counted as a binge.
I mentioned almost getting Bronkaid for a EC stack. I had never tried appetite suppressants before. I had only ended up buying the caffeine pills and was so proud I didn't get the Bronkaid.
First, she had never heard of an EC/A stack. And when I tried to explain what it was, she interrupted me and asked, "You're taking diet pills? Yeah, you need to stop that." And then moved the fuck on.
I bought a package of Bronkaid the next day while filling my anti-anxiety pills and antidepressants. Fucking lol.
I'll mention binging then the reactionary 48 hour fast. I'll mention my body dysmorphia. "You're not fat!" and "Have you seen the dietitian I recommended?"
She's the only therapist who offers DBT, DBT group, and EMDR together, so I'm stuck with her. But holy cow, how can you downplay a patient's issues like that? So bizarre.
[Rant/Rave] Is it just me or DAE get emotional when other people want you to lose weight the healthy way?
/u/churromatsuisbae
Created: Fri Aug 10 22:31:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96dxtj/is_it_just_me_or_dae_get_emotional_when_other/
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I certainly do. I see it as a challenge and it makes me want to engage in disordered behavior even more. It also makes me cry a lot because, as cliche as this sounds, whenever I "seek help" I feel like control is being taken away from me and I hate that. Plus, I think the fact that no one's discouraging me out of dieting means I'm not thin enough yet.
[Rant/Rave] I want to relapse for the worst reason (TW: numbers)
/u/That_1bitch
Created: Fri Aug 10 22:26:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96dwsa/i_want_to_relapse_for_the_worst_reason_tw_numbers/
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This is awful and i cant tell anyone else this but i know you guys will probably understand.
Basically, ive been recovered since april, and got my weight back up to 130 lbs (lowest was 102). I've been doing okay but im going back to school in like a month
My ex best friend goes to the same school and i know ill see her around in the halls/dining hall. We havent spoken in almost a year. But she's always been on the heavy side and could never manage losing weight. I want to lose all that weight again as a "fuck you" to her, and show her i can easily do what she never could. Its fucking terrible i know, but i've always had a competetive nature and she was a total bitch to me so i just have this urge to out-do her.
Anyway just a rant about my awful thoughts. What are the worst things youve thought or done because of your ed?
I'm tired
/u/apfrun
Created: Fri Aug 10 22:12:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96dtt7/im_tired/
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I'm so tired of counting every single thing that goes into my body.
I'm tired of eating small things *without* counting and feeling I have to purge because of it.
I'm tired of waiting and looking every single morning, hoping I'm down any more.
I'm tired of sitting around waiting for all the weight to come off.
I'm tired of looking so fucking disgusting and like a ball of fat.
I'm tired of believing no one likes me or wants to be around me because of my fat.
I'm tired of wishing to death I could fast, but being too damn pathetic to do it.
I'm tired of not having my own money to buy any food. I'm tired of the food my family brings into the house.
I'm tired of no longer enjoying eating ANYTHING because all I can think of is my calories.
I'm tired of food, I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of watching my weight and freaking out over the tiniest movement, I'm tired of not being beautiful or happy.
I'm just sick of it.
Casual thoughts
/u/notchillen
Created: Fri Aug 10 22:05:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96drzi/casual_thoughts/
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I can't wait to get fucking skinny for once I'm gonna try so hard to do it the healthy way but nothing will stand in my way this time holy shit
My therapist, who is an ED therapist, is the reason I lost 35 pounds and became so thin
/u/LeithLeoni
Created: Fri Aug 10 21:57:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96dq6p/my_therapist_who_is_an_ed_therapist_is_the_reason/
---
This is a random reflection, and it's not an epiphany.
A few years ago I started seeing a therapist about some relationship problems. She specializes in relationships and EDs, which was nice, because I had serious body image issues. I also had a problem with overeating. She was so gorgeous, poised, and kind of cold, and I kind of put her on a pedestal. I thought she didn't care about me though because I was 5'7" and 150 pounds. My BMI was about 23ish.
I became pretty obsessed with her TBH because, you know, transference. I started thinking that the only way for her to care about me would be for me to stop eating. So, that summer, I went abroad and just simply did not eat. I walked all over the city every day, ran, and didn't eat. I lost 15 pounds. When I came back, she clearly noticed and was worried, which inspired me greatly. I quickly lost another 15.
What's messed up is we got so much closer when I started losing weight. She showed more warmth, wanted to see me more, talked to me in a maternal voice. She started hugging me after sessions.
Twice, I've gained enough weight to look okay. Never weight restored, but okay. And those times, she stopped caring.
I no longer see this woman, so I'm able to see this objectively. Can anyone relate?
Some of my messed up thoughts
/u/heyyyitstrish
Created: Fri Aug 10 21:54:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96dpkd/some_of_my_messed_up_thoughts/
---
I have always believed that if I were skinny I would be pretty, someone would love me, and that I would not hate myself and constantly wish I were dead. Deep down I know that that does not make sense.
At this point I have nothing to lose.
Please share some of your thoughts so I do not feel so alone.
I lost my smelling sense 2 months ago and I keep postponing going to a doctor because it helps with my cravings.
/u/hoeticjustice
Created: Fri Aug 10 21:52:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96dp59/i_lost_my_smelling_sense_2_months_ago_and_i_keep/
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I caught a cold that lasted a month and somehow it made me lose my smelling sense, I canāt smell a thing no matter how closely I sniff it now. There are 6 fast food places + a bakery in my street alone and usually just walking home, the smell used to make me crave a shawarma sandwich before I go up. The good part is that I no longer have to worry about that, but the bad part is that NOTHING tastes as good as it used to. So yeah at this point Iām not sure if I should go to a doctor at all anymore, what would you do?
[Discussion] Does anyone else use garcinia cambogia?
/u/Amoryed
Created: Fri Aug 10 21:30:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96dkkb/does_anyone_else_use_garcinia_cambogia/
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Back when I was first trying to lose weight like 2 years ago I tried it for a while and I think it worked but after a bit I got acid reflux from it and stopped. But! I just used it again in the middle of a binge and I thought of it and it stopped it in its tracks. What are your experiences?
Electrolytes?
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Fri Aug 10 21:20:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96di3d/electrolytes/
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So for all of us with restrictive/purging EDs, electrolytes are a serious concern. Since I personally don't want to drop dead from a heart condition for as long as possible, how do y'all keep your electrolytes in balance? I've been relying on the good ol' Powerade zero, but realize that this is certainly not meeting my electrolyte needs. What options are better, even if they have some calories? Does anyone use like the Pedialyte advanced plus products? My online research makes them look like a better option.
[Goal] I kept telling myself that once I hit my goal weight I will wear a crop top in public for the first time.
/u/J0_f0_sh0 [5'2 | CW120 | -14 | GW115 | F21]
Created: Fri Aug 10 21:07:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96dfbu/i_kept_telling_myself_that_once_i_hit_my_goal/
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I hit it, still dont like how I look. Now I have a new goal weight and maybe then I'll do it.
Anyone else living with Binge Eating disorder? Or perhaps know of a B.E.D. Support group online (reddit or other)?
/u/Lost_in_the_Library
Created: Fri Aug 10 20:55:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96dch6/anyone_else_living_with_binge_eating_disorder_or/
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[Help] What would you want a friend to do if they found out about your ED?
/u/1caru3
Created: Fri Aug 10 20:55:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96dcbn/what_would_you_want_a_friend_to_do_if_they_found/
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I recently found out my best friend has an ED also. (For context: I love him to the ends of the earth and would do anything to help him, even if it meant putting my own ED on hold. )
Anyways, I need advice on how to help him out. I know from experience that you canāt cure an ED with the snap of your fingers, but what would you want a friend to do if you were in his situationā would you want quiet acknowledgment or serious help or whatever?
(I feel like I should know how to help him but my methods are so self destructive that whatever I would do would literally kill him...)
Thanks!!!
Vacation in a week
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: idk | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 20:46:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96dakl/vacation_in_a_week/
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And I canāt stop binging. Lol pls help me
[Rant/Rave] Iām trash
/u/highfunctioningmess
Created: Fri Aug 10 20:46:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96dajo/im_trash/
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I literally bought an entire roll of cookie dough and c/s the WHOLE thing after work today..
Then a guy I like asked me to grab a bite to eat (so annoying that everyone has to bond over food) and he told me that two girls came over to his house last night but they only came over because they were interested in his roommate.. and the other girl ājust slept on the couchā. Like okaaay, Iām not naive i donāt believe that for a second.
Anyways, now Iām at home desperately trying to distract myself so I donāt emotionally eat ā Iām right at 1200 (i do 1200 on Friday and Saturdays and low restrict during the week) Iām trash for āeatingā an entire thing of cookie dough and Iām trash for wanting to emotionally eat ice cream
How to face the damage Iāve done
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 116 |UGW 105| F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 20:29:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96d6mi/how_to_face_the_damage_ive_done/
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Vacation for 5 days which means 5 days of eating high calorie restaurant food. Now Iām
Fucking a bloated ass whale. I need this to go the fuck away. I refuse to weigh myself cuz Iāll probably cry.
[Tip] Tips for balancing two extremes?
/u/SwissMissintheClouds [5'8" | 149 | 22% | GW 123 | 23F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 20:25:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96d5mo/tips_for_balancing_two_extremes/
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I just keep yo-yo-ing between accepting my body (and therefore, not doing anything to lose weight) and being disgusted with my body (so much so that I just curl up in a ball and eat to console myself). When I try to accept my body, I binge and don't workout and when I'm disgusted with how I look, I just binge because I'm stressed and upset and then feel too embarrassed to go workout.
How do you balance between self-hatred and complete delusion? I just keep going from one extreme to the other, I can't find a happy medium. I haven't lost any weight all summer, I'm still living with family, can't find a job. I can't help but think that if I could just control this part of my life everything else will fall into place.
[Rant/Rave] Heās more concerned about the purging than the bingeing
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 45 kg | 18F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 20:22:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96d506/hes_more_concerned_about_the_purging_than_the/
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And it irritates me to no end.
We decided to start using a mutual habit tracking app (HabitShare), so we can keep each other accountable for maintaining good habits. Weāre under full disclosure about my ED, so naturally āNo bingeingā and āNo purgingā could go on my habits list.
Unfortunately, I purged yesterday and today, and I binged today. I noted that in my habits, because I refuse to lie anymore (at least to him). Then, today, he checked, and said (for the umpteenth time) I have to tell my parents.
āThatās two days in a row,ā he said.
*Two*. So Iām assuming heās not talking about the bingeing. But I honestly couldnāt give two shits about the purging at this point. I just want to stop the binges.
Of course, I may be reading into this incorrectly, and he just means two days of disordered behaviour. But I canāt help but feel like he generally prioritises fixing the purging before the bingeing, though the latter causes the former (for the most part). And obviously the latter makes me fatter, so thatās a big problem.
I guess I should probably talk to him.
Anyway, rant over.
[Rant/Rave] Recovery is good but...
/u/TinyLittleStars66
Created: Fri Aug 10 20:20:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96d4fp/recovery_is_good_but/
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So my friend recently went to hospital for their ED and while I completely want them to recover and be healthy, I am not trying to recover and feel alone and kind of hurt by my friends new found confidence(which seems like a false confidence cause of weight gain)... like major blow to my self esteem and I canāt figure out if they were trying to hurt me or not. Like maybe to make themselves feel better about the weight? but since the hospitalization I feel like I have absolutely nobody who understands eds and I donāt mean like an ana buddy, I mean like we could share the pains of this shit(shakes, dizziness and so on) but now I just worry too much about triggering them and them blaming me for something that they kinda brought me out of denial about... I just wish I could socialize normally without comparing myself to others, taking things as personally as I am, and feeling like Iām right to be taking it personally, feeling attacked, and most of fucking all the competition vibe I get so hard, and god fucking help me I will destroy myself competing but I hate the feeling of wanting to destroy somebody else. Iāve even tried to tell myself things like at least Iāll be this or that, but I still have -0 self esteem and canāt bring myself out of it. Iāve felt like such shit since yesterday that today I couldnāt pick up anything with cals in it until 6:30 which was a ham sandwich and even that felt like too much. I hate all of this. I hate being paranoid and competitive and fuck everything...
Sorry for the rant.
[Other] DAE tend to put your life on hold until youāve reached your goal weight?
/u/throwaway86_443
Created: Fri Aug 10 20:19:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96d4a8/dae_tend_to_put_your_life_on_hold_until_youve/
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I donāt know if itās just me, but I tend to really isolate myself and save activities for the future when Iāve reached my goal weight.
Iāve realized though that itās never ending because Iām typically not satisfied when I reach my goal, so then I just lower it.
But for example, Iāve told myself that I canāt go on any dates until I reach my goal. I feel like, until then, Iām not going to be completely confident in myself. And if I donāt love myself how is anyone else going to?
I think Iāve missed out on a lot in life which makes me sad. But I canāt seem to stop.
[Help] I just got back from vacation and I feel so fat
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Fri Aug 10 20:09:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96d22p/i_just_got_back_from_vacation_and_i_feel_so_fat/
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I am beyond bloated. Iām like a whale. Itās disgusting.
bad photo, but i finally found the right washi tape for my journal
/u/bunnyalert [62'' (167cm) | 164lbs (74kg) | F? :illuminati:]
Created: Fri Aug 10 19:39:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96cv50/bad_photo_but_i_finally_found_the_right_washi/
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https://i.redd.it/zieymmv0cdf11.jpg
I'm so discouraged...Can I just have permission please to not hate myself for once?
/u/Highoffempty [5'9 | 143.3 | GW: 120 | UGW: 108 | Lbs Lost: 16.7]
Created: Fri Aug 10 19:31:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ct95/im_so_discouragedcan_i_just_have_permission/
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I had to end a fast early because I started feeling bad. I was 120 hours in.
Normally I go insane after a fast. I go to the kitchen planning to cook and eat everything until I feel horrible and then plate my food and eat all that.
I didn't when I broke my fast today. I started to, because I stood in the kitchen and ate a protein bar in about a minute but then I stopped myself. I made myself a meal (about 50-100 calories over my TDEE) and I'm eating slowly, trying to enjoy it, but I feel so fat. My bmi was 20.6 today. I am eating this ONE meal then fasting again for 6 days tomorrow.
Am I allowed to not hate myself every time I take a bite?? I just really want to be okay for one meal.
Need to lose 10-15 pounds before my doctor appointment in September.
/u/guardianangel33
Created: Fri Aug 10 19:30:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ct1g/need_to_lose_1015_pounds_before_my_doctor/
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So I just weighed myself and on the scale I weighed around a 100 pounds. The reason why I am wanting to lose weight is because my doctor always makes me step on the scale and tells me if I have gained weight or not. Which will trigger me if he tells me I have. I just feel like I don't want to eat at all now. I just want to curl up in a ball and dye of starvation.
[Discussion] yo has anyone else gotten these ads relentlessly on your ig story feed? ive seen it everyday for like a month
/u/upupandawayay [| 5'3" | 17.8 | cw:98 | -20 | gw:90 |]
Created: Fri Aug 10 19:26:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96cs0r/yo_has_anyone_else_gotten_these_ads_relentlessly/
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https://i.redd.it/mdrxqi6o9df11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I was thrilled with my progress, and now I just feel like shit
/u/almc879213
Created: Fri Aug 10 19:19:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96cqgs/i_was_thrilled_with_my_progress_and_now_i_just/
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From my SW, I have officially lost 18 pounds. I was SO excited when I stepped off the scale. What a great feeling!
Until I texted my boyfriend. See, weāve both been trying to lose weight. Both started at the same weight. And even though Iāve lost 18 lbs, heās lost 36 lbs. Literally twice as much as I have.
Then he started trying to give me tips and advice on how to restrict and lose more weight. He doesnāt know that I purge, abuse laxatives, and restrict already. I feel so torn down and alone now and donāt know what to do :-(
[Discussion] Experience with mono diets?
/u/missyou0111
Created: Fri Aug 10 19:18:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96cq3u/experience_with_mono_diets/
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Iāve tried just about every fad ādietā there is. While some achieved positive results, others ended in failure.
As we all know, weight loss is dependent on calories in calories out. As long as there is a calorie deficit, you should be losing weight.
For those with eating disorders, traditional āhealthy dietsā can be more difficult to maintain.
After looking into Penn Jilletteās experience with his āpotato dietā, I became intrigued. He said after 2 weeks of a mono diet consisting of only potatoes, he āresetā his eating habits. Then he began a healthy vegan diet and lost a total of 100 pounds, and has kept it off for over 2 years.
Iām considering doing a 2 week mono diet in an attempt to reset my eating habits.
Do any of you have experience with mono diets?
Why are all my coworkers obese!
/u/ShiningSeason
Created: Fri Aug 10 19:10:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96co5q/why_are_all_my_coworkers_obese/
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This makes me so mad! I've lost a bunch of weight(not even underweight btw), and now all my obese coworkers wont shut up about me needing to gain 10-15 lbs and how I'm gonna blow away in the wind! Can you imagine if I said something like stop shoveling food into your mouth and maybe you would be thin too?? I said I don't want a belly anymore and one girl said everyone has a belly, like wtf kind of logic is that. This places makes me want to screeeam
[Rant/Rave] Still havenāt lost a single pound.
/u/speedayyyy
Created: Fri Aug 10 18:56:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ckzf/still_havent_lost_a_single_pound/
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IM GOING TO FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Eating one meal a day or not even some days, working out and keep my calories under 500, and if I go over I purge. Itās been over a week since Iāve lost any fucking weight. I lost over 25 pounds in total and that all fell off but Iām just fucking STUCK. ANNDD Iām bloated as fuck right now. Like straight up look like Iām pregnant. Like fuck it I might was well binge right now. I hate this shit. Wish I could stop obsessing over food/weight loss.
[Discussion] Does anyone feel like they have to get to their GW before a specific age?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 18:40:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ch03/does_anyone_feel_like_they_have_to_get_to_their/
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My 25th birthday is in a few months and I feel this incredible pressure to get my āforever bodyā by then. I think I feel like Iāve missed having a good body for my teenage and young adult years when youāre supposed to be thin and attractive and now my only hope is to be an *aesthetic 20 something* instead. I feel like I have to put together my āimageā before then... I dunno. Tell me your thoughts and experiences.
[Help] Laxatives and alcohol
/u/luluAita
Created: Fri Aug 10 18:07:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96c8om/laxatives_and_alcohol/
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Has anyone taken laxatives and drank in the same night? I know thatās not at all a good idea but I want to know what to expect. Thanks!
[Help] is this vanity sizing?
/u/isaezraa [165 | cw 53.5 | gw 52.5 | f | trying to be "healthy" lmao]
Created: Fri Aug 10 18:03:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96c7k1/is_this_vanity_sizing/
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so I got my formal (prom) dress from tobi.com, on their website they say that an XS has a
32-33in bust
24-25in waist
33-34in hip
is that a true XS/US 0-2/AU 4-6? It fits perfectly but Iām normally a AU6/8 (US2/4) so it seems too good to be true
[Rant/Rave] THANK YOU!
/u/Golddustwomanstusk
Created: Fri Aug 10 17:55:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96c5ju/thank_you/
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I feel like Reddit can be the snarkiest place in the world. Every time I post, which is always benign like to ask whatās happening in my neighborhood on my cityās Reddit page or even just a travel photo, people are so rude!
Except for here! Thank you all so much!! Life is rough enough and being rude for no reason just makes it that much worse. I love you all. Iām so glad I found this group because of the positivity. Thank you all so much for being kind. Iām struggling with serious depression and this community really uplifts me. So thank you.
Chew and spit - how many calories are ACTUALLY consumed?
/u/lanehead
Created: Fri Aug 10 17:37:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96c13w/chew_and_spit_how_many_calories_are_actually/
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Pretty self explanatory title.
I've seen so many different answers and wanted to ask yall.
[Rant/Rave] I am sitting on the middle of a seesaw. One side is anorexia the other is bulimia.
/u/remmyowlbean
Created: Fri Aug 10 17:21:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96bwsi/i_am_sitting_on_the_middle_of_a_seesaw_one_side/
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In the beginning of March I discovered 1200isplenty and figured it would be a good way to work on losing weight the āhealthyā way without relapsing. From March-June I managed to lose 32 pounds and was making headway on getting towards my 80 pound goal.
Around the end of April, I noticed that I was starting to eat as little as I possibly could because I was afraid of eating over 1000 calories. I acknowledged it, accepted it, and continued. The relapse was horrible, and I realized as a Mom I couldnāt continue this way because it was making unreliable to my son.
I stopped counting my calories and quickly barreled into my next relapse with my bulimia.
I am somewhat in control now. But everyone is asking me why I stopped dieting, and if I plan on continuing. I really want to start again, just simple calorie counting...but I am so afraid of relapsing again. I have been in recovery since 2012 and I havenāt had a relapse this bad in a while.
I donāt know what to do. I want to lose weight, I want to hit my goal...but I donāt want to relapse again.
Iām afraid that if I tell my husband whatās going on heāll leave me...or tell me that itās okay because Iām fat and could stand to lose the weight.
He would never say that...but you know what EDs do to your rational thoughts.
[Other] Shit Post: Shoplifting should be part of the criteria for Bulimia
/u/0kcalHaldol
Created: Fri Aug 10 17:20:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96bwpr/shit_post_shoplifting_should_be_part_of_the/
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I am joking...kinda...
I have at times fulfilled the criteria for Bulimia Nervosa and I have shoplifted so I can say this...
I donāt anymore however, trying to be more anorexic.
[Rant/Rave] i ate 1,500 calories and cut myself today... i am a failure. (TW)
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Fri Aug 10 17:10:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96bty6/i_ate_1500_calories_and_cut_myself_today_i_am_a/
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i cut myself this morning after being really triggered by a group therapy session (currently in rehab). then i passed out but didnāt tell anyone it was from blood loss, so they made me eat a full 1,500 calories today. i was supposed to be down 3lbs by sunday and now iāll probably just be at the same weight.
just makes me want to cut again, but i donāt want to have to go through the process of getting stitches twice in a day.
and i canāt ever manage to purge and it pisses me off so much, like why canāt i just throw up???
ugh just kill me or make me skinny please.
[Help] Should I go Vegan or stay Omnivore? Thoughts?
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Fri Aug 10 16:56:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96bq0p/should_i_go_vegan_or_stay_omnivore_thoughts/
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Iāve gone both vegetarian and vegan before in the past but eventually switched back to eating omnivore because of my family (theyāre all hardcore omnivores) and, in part, because I wasnāt feeling as good physically.
That said, there isnāt a day that goes by that I donāt think about seriously committing to eating vegan. I believe in the ethical components about animals, I believe that itās better for the environment, the animals, etc.
I want to eat healthier and not lose weight by eating prepackaged foods for 100% of my diet like last time, but, Iām not sure.
I donāt know how my familyās going to feel about me wanting to switch for the eightieth time.
Any thoughts on people who are vegans? Omnivores? Etc.
This diet fron the 1970s honestly feels like a call out post.
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Fri Aug 10 16:53:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96bpb8/this_diet_fron_the_1970s_honestly_feels_like_a/
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https://i.redd.it/idjb95wiicf11.jpg
[Discussion] Why is it that some people can stay skinny while eating high calorie vegan meals?
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Fri Aug 10 16:51:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96bon5/why_is_it_that_some_people_can_stay_skinny_while/
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Iāve been wondering this for awhile and wanted to get other peopleās opinion/thoughts on it.
Thereāre some people Iāve followed in the past who are vegan and they post these insanely caloric smoothies filled to the brim with fruit, etc. and just other vegan meals that also have high calories from the sheer amount of food thatās in them, but they still stay so skinny? Howās that possible?
Does anyone have any thoughts/opinions?
Korean girl explaining how she went from 70kg to 46kg (maintenance : 50kg)
/u/Burlesqua [š· 5'4'' | CW:108 | BMI:18 | 20/F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 16:23:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96bgph/korean_girl_explaining_how_she_went_from_70kg_to/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4cltOzjv5o
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else love C/S??
/u/gothbaseball [5'2 | CW132 | GW115 | HW139 | 21F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 16:22:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96bggi/anyone_else_love_cs/
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Itās definitely one of the grossest habits a person can have but, like, I love it.
I started doing it in high school, years before ever hearing of Reddit, and I recently got back into doing it regularly. The taste/action of chewing releases that reward pathway dopamine so it makes you happy, then when youāre done and you see all that food that didnāt end up in your stomach. All those calories that canāt do shit to you. :-)
Granted, I still log calories for a C/S binge because realistically I know some food is swallowed, even when I swish with water. But waaaay overestimate how many calories could have slipped through, just to lower my available calories for the day anyway LOL
TLDR: C/S is absolutely fucking disgusting, and I love it
[Discussion] I just realized that I used to be skinny
/u/Exoarmyl [5'4 | CW: 205.2 | GW: 160 | WL: - | 17F:karma:]
Created: Fri Aug 10 16:17:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96bf8s/i_just_realized_that_i_used_to_be_skinny/
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For most of my life, Iāve always thought I was overweight and/or obese. I always thought I was that fat kid that ate everything and that I was huge.
However today, I was looking through old photos of my brotherās graduation from 2015 (I was 14 then), and I was actually not fat. I was what looks like below my actual ugw, and now I just feel worse about myself. Before, I thought I was just always fat and that I always just ate like a cow. But now, I know that I used to be at a good weight and actually started eating a shit ton and gained so much freaking weight.
I guess this is good in a way though cause itās just way more fuel for me to maintain fasting and restricting.
Time to buy a shit load of gum and low cal drinks (and change my ugw).
[Discussion] Foods that you don't like?
/u/CharlieJScarper [5'0.5" | 92.8lbs | 17.8 | FTM:cat_blep:]
Created: Fri Aug 10 16:14:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96be7w/foods_that_you_dont_like/
---
Something I don't see discussed very often in terms of EDs are foods that we genuinely don't like! Lots of us have fear foods, or foods that we won't touch for fear of binging, or foods that violate some ED 'rule' or another. But what are some foods or meals that you just don't like, even in a non-disordered way?
Personally, I really hate mushroom dishes and shrimp :0
[Goal] Motivation and accountability.
/u/audreyhepburnwho
Created: Fri Aug 10 16:06:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96bc2q/motivation_and_accountability/
---
[removed]
Any "weird" habits that keep you sane??
/u/tzt-t
Created: Fri Aug 10 16:05:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96bbp9/any_weird_habits_that_keep_you_sane/
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Do you guys have any "weird" habits that keep you sane and/or on track? It's the little things that keep me going these days
One of my comforts: I'm an avid tea drinker and I like my stuff milky, so to avoid scary extra calories, I measure out 1cup of unsweetened vanilla almond milk (35cal) in the morning and leave it in a cup in the fridge. During the day I take tbsp servings out of it for tea until I'm out. Then I can only have green day afterwards. Log 35 milk calories a day and almost never go over!
What're yours?
"Weird" habits that keep you sane? (on mobile please flair)
/u/tzt-t
Created: Fri Aug 10 16:00:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96baab/weird_habits_that_keep_you_sane_on_mobile_please/
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Do you guys have any "weird" habits that keep you sane and on track? It's the little things that keep me going these days
One of my comforts: I'm an avid tea drinker and I like my stuff milky, so to avoid scary extra calories, I measure out 1cup of unsweetened vanilla almond milk (35cal) and leave it in a cup in the fridge. During the day I take tbsp servings out of it for tea until I'm out. Then I can only have green day afterwards. Log 35 milk calories a day and almost never go over!
What're yours?
[Discussion] (126lbs 5ā4ā) I hate eating in front of people.I feel like theyāre just judging me thinking āwhat a fatty why is she eating?ā
/u/depressedlilfuck
Created: Fri Aug 10 16:00:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96baa6/126lbs_54_i_hate_eating_in_front_of_peoplei_feel/
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[Help] Bloated for a week
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Fri Aug 10 15:31:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96b1z9/bloated_for_a_week/
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Looking for some advice here. I ran a half marathon last week and ever since Iāve been up 5 pounds and it is all in my stomach. I looked pregnant. I have been eating very clean since, but I do eat a lot of carrots and apples. Any tips on getting this bloat down?
I just bought a fall outfit that's 3 sizes too small.
/u/Cactuseye [5'1.5| CW 156/7 | SW 162 | GW1 125 | 20f]
Created: Fri Aug 10 15:29:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96b1j3/i_just_bought_a_fall_outfit_thats_3_sizes_too/
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:)) can't wait to be triggered and disappointed. My fatass probably won't even ever be a size 2 but thift stores man, couldn't pass up a cute outfit for under 5 bucks.
[Rant/Rave] When people tell you to stop losing weight. How do you respond?
/u/sucrederable
Created: Fri Aug 10 15:23:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96azq9/when_people_tell_you_to_stop_losing_weight_how_do/
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I keep getting these comments from family members telling me I should stop losing weight. That I look "sick", that I am "shrinking", that I look "odd".
It makes me feel horrible. How do you usually respond to these comments?
[Rant/Rave] Body aching
/u/ruralfishingcat [5'5 | 122 | 20.5 | - 5 | 21 F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 15:18:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96ay90/body_aching/
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In the past two weeks or so Iāve just... been over food. Nothing keeps my interest and Iāve been having to force myself to eat. I get maybe 500 calories if I really try. Normally Iād be excited, but I just feel numb.
But my god the aching. My stomach feels so sick and I have nausea that ebbs and wanes throughout the day. I dread eating because my stomach has shrunk. My limbs hurt. My head hurts. This sucks.
[Other] Update from the cardiac unit.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 87.4lbs| 14 | Male]
Created: Fri Aug 10 15:12:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96awnn/update_from_the_cardiac_unit/
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Finally got a bed around 1am this morning. I'm on bed rest (my butt hurts; I'm not being watched and I'm so tempted to just stand/pace all day), refeeding meal plan (slowly increasing over the next few days), tube feeding overnight (because apparently without that, I'll "be here forever" according to my psychiatrist, who wants to put some significant weight on me), oral intake during the day. Once I'm stablized, I will be sent down to the psych ward.
*internal screaming into the void*
This has happened too many times to count. I'm convinced I'm just one of those chronic cases who cycles in and out of "wellness" for decades before dropping dead from heart failure. I'm angry, and ashamed, and so very tired of this bullshit.
Just saw photos of me for the first time in literally a year
/u/xpetitallegro [5'7" | SW: 170 | CW: 146 | GW: 100 | 26F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 15:12:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96awfx/just_saw_photos_of_me_for_the_first_time_in/
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(For those who don't know, I got down to my GW, did recovery, then turned into BED....)
Hooooooooly shit.
I do NOT recognize this person. I'm about 160 lbs in those photos. I'm standing with my sister, who just graduated and is 125 at best and athletic.
My upper arms are about as big as her neck. And not in a good way.
My upper body is actually so large, the neckline on my dress sags down because it can't hold up my boobs + chest fat + whatever else.
I was so disgusted I ran to the bathroom, threw up lunch, and am now sitting here curled up in a ball trying to plan a weeklong liquid fast.
Fuck me.
[Discussion] Fasting Essentials [discussion]
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: IDK, TOO MUCH| GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 15:03:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96atth/fasting_essentials_discussion/
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Iām embarking on my first fast in a long time and I have collected my fasting essentials:
-sparkling water
-Metamucil appetite suppressant
-lite salt
-gum
-iced coffee
-a good book (Vladimir Nobakovās short story anthology)
What are your essentials?
P.S. I hope this is allowed, I donāt want it to be read as tips or anything
Fantasy: If you could make one food have 0 calories, which would you choose?
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5" | CW:127 | 21.1 | -72 | 20M]
Created: Fri Aug 10 14:37:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96am3l/fantasy_if_you_could_make_one_food_have_0/
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I'd probably choose Kraft mac and cheese.
Is it normal to gain weight on fast (~0cal) days?
/u/psychosuicidalgirl
Created: Fri Aug 10 14:33:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96al13/is_it_normal_to_gain_weight_on_fast_0cal_days/
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I have recently started implementing a regimen of ~0cal fasting every other day, and for some reason I've noticed that I lose weight on the days I'm eating ~500cal, but on the ~0cal days I seem to put on weight??? Is this normal? What is happening?? I find it very distressing.
Guy Iām dating starves himself too
/u/killingtiimee
Created: Fri Aug 10 14:15:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96afgr/guy_im_dating_starves_himself_too/
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God, Iām not sure if this is a dream come true or what. We have mutual friends and met that way, he plays in a few bands, one of which I used to follow pretty regularly.
Last night we went for a run together and he mentioned in the band (the one I used to follow), all the guys would starve themselves or purge after eating.
All our dates are basically working out together or just not eating together.
This is kinda great?
I just briefly considered cutting all my hair off to lose the extra .5 lbs.
/u/ghostytot
Created: Fri Aug 10 14:01:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96abez/i_just_briefly_considered_cutting_all_my_hair_off/
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what the fuck brain...
[Rant/Rave] Am i feeling weak and lightheaded OR am i feeling thinner :)
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Fri Aug 10 13:37:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96a3yu/am_i_feeling_weak_and_lightheaded_or_am_i_feeling/
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does it matter?
[Discussion] DAE feel the need/desire to shower after a binge?
/u/peachypetrina
Created: Fri Aug 10 13:33:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96a2t2/dae_feel_the_needdesire_to_shower_after_a_binge/
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Idk, whenever I mess up and feel ashamed of what I ate it just makes me wanna take a hot shower. Itās not like it negates the calories or anything, so I wonder why?
[Discussion] Think I have pancreatitis, not doing shit about it...
/u/0kcalHaldol
Created: Fri Aug 10 13:27:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96a0y4/think_i_have_pancreatitis_not_doing_shit_about_it/
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Ok guys, so a few days ago I started these new vitamins called Garden Of Life Womenās Multi.
Then the upper abdominal cramping just under my tits started.
It felt like all the food I ate was stuck there.
This has been going on for a few days, then yesterday I puked up some strawberries I ate.
Today I didnāt even eat and puked up some stuff I ate last night.
I canāt afford to take any days off work so I am not gonna go to the hospital. Also the co pay is $500 so yea.
My ED is basically telling me this is a gift in that it will hurt if I so much as suck on a candy so I am not doing any of that.
I hear it can go away on itās own in a week so I hope that happens.
IDK, just thought Iād share.
Trying to recover and went down a few pant sizes, am I doing it wrong?
/u/Xulfers
Created: Fri Aug 10 13:10:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/969vsn/trying_to_recover_and_went_down_a_few_pant_sizes/
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I've been eating somewhat more instead of restricting all the time and I went down a few sizes and was worried I wasn't making any actual progress, but I don't know if this may be a part of recovery
[Rant/Rave] I didnāt realize how bad I was until today
/u/lrgfrieschocoshake
Created: Fri Aug 10 13:04:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/969u01/i_didnt_realize_how_bad_i_was_until_today/
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Iāve followed this sub for a while, and been pretty active in it. I definitely have always suffered from different extremes of disordered eating. But lately Iāve been heavily restricting- like, guilty if I eat 500 calories restricting. Itās starting to have more of a physical impact than Iād like, as I have a two year old and fainting isnāt an option lol. So I told myself today when I woke up that Iād eat ānormallyā- up to 1200 calories. One day of it and then I can go back to *my* normal. I figured itād be no trouble at all, as Iām pretty prone to binge eating. But then I opened every cupboard, my fridge, and freezer multiple times and couldnāt stand the thought of eating 300-500 calories for one single meal. Nothing looked good enough to justify doing that to my body. And I know if the scale hasnāt gone down in the morning Iāll be devastated. So here I am, crying with a rice cake and energy drink on Reddit. End rant lol
[Rant/Rave] I'm Having a Really Hard Time....
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Fri Aug 10 12:59:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/969se7/im_having_a_really_hard_time/
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My dad texted me yesterday. Apparently him and my stepmother are getting a divorce. They've only been married for almost 2 years and I'm really worried about him. Like myself, he struggles with major depression. He has had suicide attempts. My father and my mother were married for about 10 years. She cheated. They divorced. He found out my stepmom might be cheating on him as well. Like my mother, my stepmother also has a severe alcohol problem.
Anyway... hes slightly aware of my ED but idk I think he thinks I'm better now. (He caught be b/ping last Thanksgiving, awesome I know. š)
I'm going to see him later today to talk about his situation. I'm always nervous to see anyone in my family because they always tell me I'm too skinny, too small, I need to eat more, etc.
I've been trying to reach my UGW of 85lbs. Ive been bouncing between 95 and 90 for about that past month. I was so upset yesterday. I planned on restricting but then I though "Oh I'm seeing my dad tomorrow I dont want him making comments" so I binged pretty badly. Idk I'm sure I'm up a few pounds.
You guys I dont know what to do. I'm really worried about my father but I want to at least make it so he doesn't worry as much about me. I dont want to weigh 95 or higher though. I want to reach 85 and I'm so fucking close. This sucks....
[Rant/Rave] I look sick. Lol
/u/Yet_Living
Created: Fri Aug 10 12:51:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/969pya/i_look_sick_lol/
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Starting inpatient treatment next week. Am 17, male, UK.
Saw myself in the mirror just now and thought āI look like shitā and laughed near-hysterically and my brain was like ābecause youāre fatā but I understand that itās actually because Iām underweight and sleep deprived.
That would do it.
Purging ātil 6am last night, got up at 9, spent all day running around the town and buying binge food. I was scared and angry with my family for forcing me to accept the offer of a bed on the local inpatient treatment centre, but tbh Iām also feeling a lot of relief. I canāt do this anymore. Itāll be nice to not have to think about food. I used to have hobbies and friends. Iām done. I look sickly. I know that I look sickly because itās what people say. But I donāt see it. But maybe Iām just gonna have to live with that.
Iāve decided to binge on the food tomorrow instead of today. This isnāt a solution to my problems but Iām okay with it. Iām too tired.
Once Iām locked away 24/7 for god knows how many weeks, Iāll be fine. Whatever damage I do now can only be minimal. Maybe Iāll recover completely. I want to.
My favourite food is jellies. But I donāt eat them because theyāre not economical when it comes to binging. Especially the vegetarian ones. Except when I used to steal food. Then it was whatever I wanted. But then I got caught and yelled at by security, the police, and my parents. The shame is unbearable. So there is no way Iām risking getting caught again. So I binge on huge bags of disgusting frozen chips that cost 70c. Then I purge and starve myself for any number of days. Itās not good. Not fun. Iām not enjoying my life. Wish me luck with this treatment thing. Maybe my nutritionist can sustain me on a diet of jelly beans and wine gums if I ask her nicely.
So yeah. Me being forced to do something (go to inpatient) and then when I realise that I canāt get out if it, I choose to go to inpatient. So Iām not being forced now. Still in control, amirite?
Sorry if this makes no sense or reads like pure rubbish. Iām tired. My bedroom smells of vomit. Wish me luck.
Shout out to coke zero
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 115 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 12:12:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/969dpn/shout_out_to_coke_zero/
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Found my new love. Its sweet, carbonated, has caffine, zero calories, and best of all it tastes like actual real coke. Diet coke can go burn in a hole, coke zero 4 life.
I feel like I'm about to start a war, but I just love it so much you guys gotta try it.
Planet Fitness & the ongoing "should I work out???" question
/u/hwi__noree [5'6 | 125 | 20.2 | ~ | F | GW: 110]
Created: Fri Aug 10 11:30:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9690at/planet_fitness_the_ongoing_should_i_work_out/
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Y'all I'm at the "should I work out??" crossroads again. I have a planet fitness membership and I'm trying to figure out if I want to commit to that or to dieting. Working out kind of scares me bc of the "I deserve this cookie, I worked out!" mindset (which is never how I've gained weight btw. All my weight gain seems to come from a month or two of me intuitively eating and then drinking too many beers and having too many bagels)
I really want to get down at least 5lbs soon. I'm also worried about water retention from working out too much. I'm already so grossed out by my fluctuating weight (a few weeks ago I was 123. then 125 again. then 128. then 126, etc). Ughhhhhhh
Prozac Update
/u/catcatcatcatkitty [Height: 5'4" | CW: ~150 | BMI: 150 | Weight Lost: ??? | Gender:F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 11:22:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/968xoh/prozac_update/
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Itās kinda weird for me. It sort of suppresses my appetite but at around noon I got really hungry for my lunch. I ate about 2/3 and now Iām full. š¤·š»āāļø
Why haven't they created 0 cal chocolate fml (random)
/u/Soph-Xayah
Created: Fri Aug 10 10:59:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/968q7g/why_havent_they_created_0_cal_chocolate_fml_random/
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Still waiting for the day when I can eat chocolate and actually feel OK afterwards, science where u at?
[Vintage Diet] A friend posted this extreme diet from the 70's... all I can think is "hm, 5lbs in 3 days and wine? I would try it."
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|177.2lbs|25 | 1.8lbs down | F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 10:56:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/968p3q/vintage_diet_a_friend_posted_this_extreme_diet/
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https://i.redd.it/jp3yxc3iqaf11.png
[Rant/Rave] I feel so incredibly alone right now
/u/bilboswaggins686
Created: Fri Aug 10 10:55:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/968oyz/i_feel_so_incredibly_alone_right_now/
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I've spent my morning day dreaming about killing myself or being murdered.
I hate my boyfriend right now but I'm not sure if it's real hate or if it's the fact that I won't fucking stop starving myself.
I want nothing to do with my family and I just up and quit my job last week without another job locked down first.
I hate myself, I hate my existence, I have been sad since I was a child and feel so fucking hopeless. What is the point of any of this??? If life = misery then why be here?? I have had 3 people that I care about kill themselves and it makes me sad and jealous all at the same time. There's no point to this post I just feel so alone. I wish I could flip a switch and be normal.
I'm sorry for being so negative, I just know "normal" people have a very hard time understanding these types of feelings and I don't have a therapist right now. My heart goes out to everyone else here that is struggling too <3
[Help] Do I have an eating disorder?
/u/shootingstar2 [5' 4.5"| 142 | 24.48 | ? | F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 10:54:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/968oez/do_i_have_an_eating_disorder/
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https://i.redd.it/ngpfmq07z9f11.jpg
Plateau commiserate
/u/Cactuseye [5'1.5| CW 156/7 | SW 162 | GW1 125 | 20f]
Created: Fri Aug 10 10:28:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/968g2u/plateau_commiserate/
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I just need to whine, I know this is a common issue but it's driving me up the wall.
I've been between 158 to 156.8 for a week and 4 days. I thought it was period but period ended a couple days ago, no change. I've been eating between 500 and 1,000 mostly staying around 800-900 with one day of 1,200/1,300. I drink 3-4 liters water plus tea and coffee. I only started restricting 3 weeks ago and lost 7 pounds in the first 2 weeks, I knew it would slow down but not stagnate this soon. I hope for a woosh soon :(
Mini binge, Keto, and a fat fast
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: IDK, TOO MUCH| GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 10:14:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/968bqb/mini_binge_keto_and_a_fat_fast/
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Hi friends, so I was attempting vegan Keto, but I decided to smoke weed( w my ex boyfriend, poor decision making all around last night apparently) and ended up having a mini binge. I think I was still below or around my tdee and my weight didnāt go up this morning (thank god) but Iām sure I got knocked out of ketosis. Iām feeling sufficiently full and so my plan is the following:
-24 hr fast (until 7:30 tomorrow morning, as I ate breakfast)
-break the fast w a high fat meal, and continue until Monday w a fat fast
-transition back into Keto.
-supplement w magnesium and potassium to avoid Keto flu/dizziness
Iām a little worried this is too ambitious but I also kind of believe in myself and my own ability to stick to it. I donāt think I wouldāve even caved last night if it wasnāt for me smoking, which I wonāt be doing again.
Any words or advice or encouragement would be appreciated!!
[Rant/Rave] Mini rant
/u/ash_alah
Created: Fri Aug 10 09:30:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/967xc8/mini_rant/
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Ughhh i just need to write about this and this is the only place i can without being judged. I hooked up with this super cute guy on wednesday and he said he likes girls who have some meat on them and now i just want to lose weight as fast as possible so i wanted to fast until tonight (getting drunk with friends haha fuck me) but i fucked up and binged on a huge bowl of cereal that i just purged :-) my parents arent home this weekend so im just not gonna eat anything until they get home. posting this to hold me accountable aswell i guess. Hope you guys have a nice friday night!! Thanks for existing
[Rant/Rave] Somehow I weigh less after a binge?
/u/almc879213
Created: Fri Aug 10 09:13:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/967s25/somehow_i_weigh_less_after_a_binge/
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I am so confused right now. I have stepped on and off the scale, idk how many times. Somehow, after two days worth of shitty eating, I have managed to lose an entire pound. This is the best wtf moment ever, but I am still very confused. Iām even on my period and retaining fluid... idk, I guess Iām pretty happy about it, even if I donāt know whatās going on lol
[Help] UK based food/snacks?
/u/AnIraqiCamper
Created: Fri Aug 10 08:54:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/967m3o/uk_based_foodsnacks/
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Iām looking for some food thatās not over 200cals or things I should look out for in the UK.
I get so jealous that the US have zero sugar Gatorade and so many things that sound great for weight loss but I canāt even find zero sugar Gatorade at the American section at Tesco š
Iāve had Shirataki noodles from Holland and Barrett which have been amazing but Iām looking for other cool low cal stuff that makes you go wtf thatās amazing when you look at the cals lmao
How to escape a binge phase?
/u/nihilistatari [5'2 | Too much | 21 | Not enough | Male]
Created: Fri Aug 10 08:53:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/967lu0/how_to_escape_a_binge_phase/
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Going to keep this short because I am very despondent, but, I have been binging extremely badly for the past month and I need to get back into restricting because school starts in a week and a half. Please.
....aaaaaaaand now my housemates are dOiNg KeTo
/u/starvy_punk
Created: Fri Aug 10 08:46:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/967jy8/aaaaaaaand_now_my_housemates_are_doing_keto/
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I didnt think id see this day. Theyre not like basic or anything. I just never saw *this shit* coming. I mean the girl one is medically trained.
So when she tells me this morning she lost 3 pounds in one day i wanted to fucking walrus clap and be like wOw tHat KeTo mUsT be DaNk.
So, we all started losing weight around the same time, mainly cause i fucking relapsed, and then they realized they needed to lose wight, since im the household fuckup.
Lol bish i promise you wont lose weoght faster than i have been @myhousemate
Plus her husband still like "that meal was good but i didnt feel *full*.
Ok beerbelly
Ugghhh i hate feeling this way towards them cause i absolutely love them but guys really, keep it below 2k calories and youll fucking lose weight. Fuck your "keto bread" and whatever other shit you drag home to gobble
[Rant/Rave] Iām f**ked up.
/u/dysmorphic_idiot
Created: Fri Aug 10 08:26:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/967drk/im_fked_up/
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I made a SeCrEt reddit account because Iāve been haunting this subreddit for a while now, and Iāve decided to post something that Iāve been needing to get out for a while. I just donāt know who to turn to and where to go. Iāve never been to therapy for this, and I know that itās wrong, but I would self-diagnose myself with body dysmorphia. Iāve been struggling with this self image for years. I constantly have a back and forth with my relationship with food, I starve myself for a day, but then binge that night, or I starve myself for a couple days and end up binging a day later. Almost every time I eat, I feel sick, I feel like I have to throw up. I have never purged, though, and I feel like thatās a good thing. Iām constantly looking at myself and hating what I see.
I made the mistake of posting on Instagram and captioning my goal weight, which caused an uproar of either concerned friends PMing me or calling me an attention seeking asshole, because Iām āobviously skinnyā and am just searching for compliments. I hate when people say that about me. It just feels like no one understands what Iām going through. I try so hard not to post anything on social media, but sometimes it just slips out casually in a status, a caption, or in real life... and when that happens, I end up feeling like shit, because I either have people calling me an attention seeking asshole, or concerned friends, which makes me feel bad for making them feel bad...
Itās a spiral.
I keep spiraling.
Sometimes my confidence is up and I feel good, but then anything could push me down and Iām back to hating myself and nearly starving myself. Whatās fucked up is that I know that itās bad, I know that I shouldnāt starve myself, I know that my disordered thinking is wrong... but I canāt stop, and Iām so scared to get help, and Iām not even sure why Iām scared.
Iām fucked, the end.
[Rant/Rave] Dating and eating
/u/lovelysilliness
Created: Fri Aug 10 07:36:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/966zgb/dating_and_eating/
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I just wanted to complain really quickly about dating and eating. I just started seeing someone and he wants to go out to dinner every time we hang out. Iām trying to hard to be normal, but I honestly hate it so much. Because I know Iāll act normal in front of him and then hate myself for what I ate and compensate by saving all my calories for seeing him. I just want to eat fruit and sweet potato fries with mustard god damn it.
CBD for insomnia
/u/NeverPerfectEnough [5' 9.5" | 135 | 19.7 | F | goal: dainty]
Created: Fri Aug 10 07:32:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/966yeu/cbd_for_insomnia/
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I've had a hard time with sleep for most of my life. I go through phases where I sleep okay, but it never lasts. Usually I have a hard time getting to sleep, I have a hard time staying asleep, every single tiny noise wakes me up, and when I lay there awake I get heart-pounding anxiety that keeps me awake. I take a literal handful of pills every night to sleep - 10-15 mg melatonin, 300 mg 5HTP, 1 or 2 Benadryl, and sometimes a Unisom or 2 if it's really bad. It's worse when I'm doing EC stacks, but even when I'm not using stimulants, I can't fucking sleep.
Until now. I've been taking 15 mg CBD before bed. Holy shit, you guys. I still wake up a lot, and my mind still races when I wake up. But my heart! It's not going 100+ bpm after being awake for a few minutes! I can actually get back to sleep pretty easily! Is this what a normal person feels like, having actual energy during the day?!
[Discussion] DAE hate working out??
/u/brophie97
Created: Fri Aug 10 07:14:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/966tlu/dae_hate_working_out/
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I absolutely hate working out. I never could keep a routine of going to the gym for more than a few days. Iāll go for maybe a week and not go back for months. I do have a fairly active job (Iām a waitress) but I know if I worked out more Iād hit my goal weight, but I just fucking hate it. I always think I can restrict enough to not go to the gym, but here I am, still fat lol
[Rant/Rave] Period cravings
/u/trappedinaclub
Created: Fri Aug 10 07:02:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/966qd3/period_cravings/
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Fuck me, I finally went down to a weight where Iām kind of ok with myself yesterday morning, and then I got my period and my cravings just went rampant. Yesterday I had: oatmeal, a McFlurry, a sugar cookie, two cheese sticks, a Godiva chocolate bar, a McDouble (yep I went to McDonaldās twice in one day š), Medium fries and a Sunday. I woke up at like 3 30 this morning with the WORST cramps, and my ibuprofen was in my car, so I went to my car and was like well since Iām going down to my car and I canāt sleep for shit, I might as well drive around for a bit, which ended with a trip to 7/11, a pack of hostess donuts and then a blueberry cake donut, and itās only 530 AM!!!!
Trying to forgive myself because this is really my first binge in a few weeks, which is an improvement. Trying to look at the bigger picture here but fuck if I also aināt disappointed in myself
Once my apartment complex gym opens at 8 Iām running for like 3 years.
[Rant/Rave] PCOS makes my ED so much worse
/u/shonamairead [5'6 | CW - 145lbs | GW - 120| -16lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 06:50:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/966n6q/pcos_makes_my_ed_so_much_worse/
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I have EDNOS and I also have PCOS which means my periods wonāt come for like 3 months then last for like a month. I literally cannot weigh myself because I donāt know what my true weight is. Iāve been eating an average of 900/1000 cals a day for like 3 weeks and the scale is stuck at 145lbs. I literally count every single calorie I consume but the scale isnāt changing? My clothes tell a different story and most of my pants are too big for me, and I donāt exercise so itās not like Iāve lost fat but gained muscle?? Itās fucking up my head so much I just want the scale to change
[Discussion] Insatiable is now out - has anyone watched it?
/u/whoneedsablowjob [5'7 | CW: 202 | GW: 127 | š scruffmuffin]
Created: Fri Aug 10 06:20:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/966g2k/insatiable_is_now_out_has_anyone_watched_it/
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After much controversy, Netflix has decided to go ahead with the launch of Insatiable. Its synopsis suggests that āa bullied teenager turns to beauty pageants as a way to exact her revengeā; itās basically about an overweight, bullied high schooler who gets punched in the face and loses heaps of weight due to her jaw being wired shut. Iām just starting now and itās really not as ātriggeringā as people have suggested it will be. I found MMFD way more triggering than this show lmao. Anyone else watched?
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! August 10, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 10 06:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/966e32/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_august/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for August 10, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 10, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 10 06:12:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/966e1n/daily_food_diary_august_10_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 10, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
what are some free workout videos you do from youtube?
/u/lalalean [4'11" | CW: 97lbs | GW: 90lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 05:48:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9668fq/what_are_some_free_workout_videos_you_do_from/
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iām traveling and looking for something to do on the go that will torch a lot of calories!
my parents are getting a divorce woooooooooooo
/u/annxiouss
Created: Fri Aug 10 05:34:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96659h/my_parents_are_getting_a_divorce_woooooooooooo/
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everything fucking sucks. i think im gonna fast for a few days. im drunk rn and i havenāt slept (6:30am my time rn). i need to be skinny before i go back to college. ive gained 20 pounds in the last year. its ridiculous. but i will be skinny before i go back on the 22nd. i have to be.
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like their restrictive eating disorder makes them eat more?
/u/Dontloseyour-Ed
Created: Fri Aug 10 04:54:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/965wt5/dae_feel_like_their_restrictive_eating_disorder/
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Maybe it's just because food is on my mind 24/7 but I think I eat more than I did before I had an ED. right now I'm in a cafe and I've had a fruit scone and I'm about to have ice cream. I don't even know the calories. Maybe I would've had this much before but now it just makes me feel guilty whereas before I wouldn't have thought about it.
I don't get excited by things anymore except for my ED
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 52.5 | 17.54/17.34 | (U)GW: 52.3 (50) | 26F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 04:31:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/965sbd/i_dont_get_excited_by_things_anymore_except_for/
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So this has been going on for awhile but I just realized how extreme it's become.
I have a friend visiting tonight from DK for the weekend. The same one mentioned in [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8k5c6w/hes_not_coming/). But this time I feel barely anything. And yet it's still the most excited I've felt in months.
The worst part is, most the excitement has come from the extra motivation to fast and not purge. I mean, I'm excited to see him and for him to see me, but not as much as I was excited to have an actual reason to not eat (rather than just my own fucked up neurosis).
Hopefully actually seeing him in person in my apartment will change things, but if not there's always coconut oil ;)
PSA: don't use coconut oil (or any type of oil) with latex condoms. It degrades them and makes them more likely to break. Either use non-latex condoms or non-oil lube.
Just finished my first 100 hour fast
/u/byelittlebirdy
Created: Fri Aug 10 03:38:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/965i7y/just_finished_my_first_100_hour_fast/
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Lol I wish I could sit here and pretend that it was all of my own willpower, but letās be real: Iām a filthy drug addict.
Now I just have to wait for my husband to go out of town again for this riveting fun to start all over again!! Woo!!!
[Help] cheap scales
/u/scoopguts
Created: Fri Aug 10 03:32:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/965gwe/cheap_scales/
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i'm looking to buy a scale, ideally something sold @ walmart or target cos i don't wanna order it online (although i can if i need to)
any scales under $20 that are worth it? i'm wary of like, $9 scales but i don't really wanna drop forty bucks when i don't care about bf% or whatever i just want an accurate weight measurement. any recs?
Am I the only one that obsessively search for anime or cartoon charactersā weight?
/u/kafaensadu
Created: Fri Aug 10 03:16:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/965d91/am_i_the_only_one_that_obsessively_search_for/
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Like everytime I see a character, especially female, I search for it on the wiki just to confirm that no normal character will ever be as heavy as I am.
[Discussion] DAE binge to try and prove to themselves they donāt really have a problem
/u/noxadvena
Created: Fri Aug 10 02:24:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96557b/dae_binge_to_try_and_prove_to_themselves_they/
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Like oh I canāt actually have a problem with food because look at all this food Iām going to eat. I canāt possibly be disordered. Forget the fact Iāve eaten nothing in 48 hours or that last week I didnāt go over 500 every day... eating this junk food proves Iām fine! Thatās how I justify my bingeing and then once I start itās so hard to stop I can do this for days sometimes. Eventually I snap out and go back to restricting or fasting.
(Fully aware of how messed up this is)
Addicted to progress pics
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Fri Aug 10 01:37:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/964wlc/addicted_to_progress_pics/
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I love a good before and after pic. Especially when the person looks so much better thin. I think that's what has partially contributed to my relapse is following a whole bunch of progress pic accounts on insta. There is somethig about the transformation that sucks me in.
I don't know how people stop after losing so much weight sometimes. I see some of them and I almost want them to keep going so I can see an even thinner one. It's fucked up. But I'm so obsessed
[Rant/Rave] I have such a sick sense of motivation since my relapse
/u/eighttorches [5'2 | 109 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 01:36:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/964whj/i_have_such_a_sick_sense_of_motivation_since_my/
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It's almost back to school for a lot of people here which i know fuels eating disorders like mad. Before my relapse i just wanted to look cute, small, and just attractive in general. Like i was someone that could be loved. But now i just want to look sick. I want to look pale and tired and emaciated when school starts. I want my friends to notice i look so different from last year and think something is wrong with me. God it's so fucked up, and on top of it all iv'e totally given up on harm reduction. I'm only 15 lbs away from my goal now but i know i'm not going to stop there. Sorry, eds are hell and i was wondering if anyone feels the same way.
[Discussion] Does anyone else think halo top is "lying" about there calorie count?
/u/smallbrainedgoat
Created: Fri Aug 10 00:32:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/964jdf/does_anyone_else_think_halo_top_is_lying_about/
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There's no way it's that little of calories. I never had it but I don't believe it, at all.
[Other] i just moved out of my parents house and wow iāve realized a lot in a few days
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5ā8ā| CW: idk on purpose| BMI: obese |20F]
Created: Fri Aug 10 00:14:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/964fvo/i_just_moved_out_of_my_parents_house_and_wow_ive/
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first of all: i donāt binge on food if i donāt have junk food in the house! iāve been trying to tell my parents this for years but they just laugh and buy ice cream and wonder why their daughter just keeps getting fatter and fatter
also: i have weird taste in food. and i donāt like cooking. i eat like a child who watches their weight. all iām eating are oatmeal, protein bars, diet coke, and fruit leather strips. itās nice
cons: i live in a large city and hoooooo boy. chick fil a is right around the goddamn corner and she tempts me every day i come home.
also: so so easy to restrict when you have anxiety related to eating and donāt wanna eat around your new roommates or have them judge you on what you eat! hey probably wonāt bc they are nice but what if they do? what can i say!!!??? idk man..... iām just gonna keep eating like a malnourished child
[Discussion] Anyone else consider themselves an extreme bulimic?
/u/kvlt-chan [5'9" | 119 | 17.3 | 26 F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 23:42:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9649ax/anyone_else_consider_themselves_an_extreme_bulimic/
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Let me preface this by saying this isn't meant to be any kind of comparison or dick measuring contest, everyone here is sick blah blah blah...
Anyways, so like the title says, does anyone else here consider their bulimia extreme? For example, I've been purging 1-4 times a day for the past 8 years. It is always the last thing I do before going to bed every night, and if I don't I can't sleep. I don't usually purge normal meals, but my binges are fucking epic. Here are a couple examples from today:
Binge 1 - Domino's stuffed cheesy bread, large beef mushroom pineapple and olive pizza with extra cheese, large pineapple and pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, 2 chocolate lava cakes, hot chocolate, milk, and 3 quest bars
Binge 2 - Large order of spam friend rice, large bag of stir fry Asian veggies, tofu pad Thai, a dozen donuts, half a bag of Ritz chips, and 2 ham and cheese croissants
I feel like I hear about some people purging frequently, but haven't really come across anyone else at this level and I guess I feel kind of alone.
[Rant/Rave] I'm currently trying to gain weight through weight lifting and eating more, and I'm nearing the end of my willpower to keep doing it.
/u/deadpetz [5'11" | CW: 152.2 | 21.2 BMI | 112.8 Lbs Lost | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 9 23:41:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96492i/im_currently_trying_to_gain_weight_through_weight/
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I stopped counting calories & put my ED into remission for about 4 months now(yay me!!!), but it's sneaking back up on me in a different way this time.
I was struggling with severe binge/purge/restrict urges throughout the last two years, and I finally had kicked calorie counting, fasting, and bingeing. I started to see myself as I actually was (super skinny, in desperate need to gain weight/muscle). Fast forward to now, I'm trying the best I can to eat as much as I can in order to gain weight, but the scale keeps dropping or staying the same. (If I was reading this 6 months ago I would be insanely jealous ha) I am basically stuffing my face for 3 meals a day, but I think my stomach is either just really small still, or I'm subconsciously restricting. Anyways, you know that saying "the grass is always greener"? Well, it sure seems like it is right now. I feel like a disgusting fucking pig every single day, and my body dysmorphia is at a low point, comparable to how I felt at the height of my bulimia. I long for the days of restricting, the days of zero calorie monsters all day & salads at night. I would give anything to feel like I did at the high points of restricting. I felt so light & good about myself in those moments.
Today has been especially hard. When I look in the mirror, I just get an overwhelming sense of dread and think "oh my fucking god why was I thinking I was skinny. I'm so fat and disgusting right now compared to how i used to be". and the most fucked up part of all is that I've literally only gained 4 pounds in 2 months, yet I feel as if I've gained all of my weight back from 2 years ago. I can even see more muscular definition already, which means I'm doing the right workouts, but I just don't know if I can handle my negative self thoughts anymore. I just want to starve again. :(
Anyways, I'm sorry that this is super fucking rambly, I'm pretty drunk right now because I went home early from a friend's party after I saw myself in the mirror. God my life is so sad.
[Rant/Rave] dressing up for a party
/u/sleepyboyblue [5'5 | CW 118 | GW 100 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 9 23:37:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9648cz/dressing_up_for_a_party/
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this is really venty but i need to tell it to someone. im going to a party in two hours, the theme is 'hoe' (ik i have hilarious friends /s). the best outfit i can think of with my clothes is just suspenders and jeans, but i have a bmi of 19 so i still feel far too fuckin fat to wear it but idk what to do. hopefully will get drunk enough to not care (until i have to puke up all the booze bc calories hahaa fuck).
also i havent kept anything in my stomach for the past two weeks so lets hope it takes minimal booze to get me sloshed :')
[Rant/Rave] I fail at dismissing my disordered thoughts, I fail when trying to obey them: A rant after passing out on my second day of light restriction.
/u/WaitingOnAHalfCorpse
Created: Thu Aug 9 23:21:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9644va/i_fail_at_dismissing_my_disordered_thoughts_i/
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Last year I decided to embark upon the world renowned journey of recovery: therapy, healthy eating, normal bmi, loving myself. The whole charade, yknow? It went well for some time but then I fucked it up obviously, as is tradition, and got stuck on a really nasty binge/restrict cycle. The worst one yet.
Two days ago the time had come, I was finally gonna get rid of the binging part of the cycle. This is it. From here on, I would find myself cruising back towards my old LW and then a bit lower for good measure.
That thought lasted around 38 hours, when I accepted sugary snacks from worried roommates to get me back on my feet, literally.
I don't know why I fainted, I've fasted for way longer in the past and had eaten a decent meal less than 16 hours before. I guess it happened due my always low blood pressure + sudden low blood sugar from kinda fasting. Not a great combo tbh.
Now, I guess I'll keep restricting but with more anxiety sprinkled on top? Stop intermittent fasting and spread out my calories? Idk. I don't really care at this point.
[Discussion] I watched her first two ācheat dayā videos and they got no backlash. This one is full of comments claiming that she has an eating disorder. Thoughts?
/u/angelic-rose [š¹ 19F | 5ā6 | 130 | 21.07 | GW1 120]
Created: Thu Aug 9 23:10:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9642lb/i_watched_her_first_two_cheat_day_videos_and_they/
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https://youtu.be/z0pBM93tUts
Almost everyone on this thread is thinner than me
/u/chrissylessthan3 [5'2 | CW: 128 | HW: 132.5 | GW: 112 | UGW: 105]
Created: Thu Aug 9 22:49:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/963xw3/almost_everyone_on_this_thread_is_thinner_than_me/
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Motivation
[Rant/Rave] Emotional eating sos
/u/WantsToPetAllTheDogs
Created: Thu Aug 9 22:48:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/963xh7/emotional_eating_sos/
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I hope this doesnāt violate the rules, since I donāt know where else to post. Long story short, I wasted years of my life with a guy that didnāt know what he wanted (outside of the fact that he ultimately decided that what he wanted wasnāt me). I immediately lost a few pounds from losing my appetite, only to be informed heās sleeping with a girl heās ājust friendsā with. She had a bf. *Had.* Of course, I reached for everything I could shove at my face after restricting all day and doing so well. How do I stop emotional eating when I hate myself? Or stop caring about other people? Or stop caring in general so these situations stop? I was ONE POUND AWAY from my GW, and Iām up 3lbs now. It was the closest Iāve been in YEARS and I feel like such a failure yet again.
The guilt of eating food
/u/bboombbboom
Created: Thu Aug 9 22:47:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/963xah/the_guilt_of_eating_food/
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All I can think about every night is the regret of eating food throughout the day. I binged so much the last 2 days. Getting no sleep has been horrible.
[Other] 110 calorie homemade soup
/u/EDthrowaway8888 [5'6 | CW 145.2 | BMI 23.3 | Weight Lost 20.6 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 22:19:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/963qv9/110_calorie_homemade_soup/
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https://i.redd.it/7pdyygwlz6f11.jpg
first post here
/u/waist29
Created: Thu Aug 9 22:05:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/963nhw/first_post_here/
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hi! I've been lurking here for the past month or so n i thought i'd finally sign up and make a post to make it official. i'm hoping to lose twenty pounds by the time summer is over but i've been stuck in this fast/binge cycle for the past 2ish weeks so i hopefully this will hold me accountable n i can fast for at least the next two weeks. anyway wish me luck n i hope you all stay safe :)
I can't stand my overweight parents logic about being skinny
/u/Rocket_to_Russia_
Created: Thu Aug 9 21:58:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/963lkb/i_cant_stand_my_overweight_parents_logic_about/
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Dad: "Theres no reason to avoid junk food, at your weight you can eat whatever you want!"'
Uh yeah, I'm skinny BECAUSE I don't eat junk food. Meanwhile you're (In denial about it) obese. Not "just a little chubby", not even overwieght, but full blown medical obesity. You continue to stuff your face at 12 AM and have absolutely no willpower, none to speak of it, even though you complain about your weight 4 times a week and claim to start your diet every month. And when you said you'd "Get anorexic" and not eat for a month to get skinny for a wedding, how did that turn out (He gained weight). Clearly you value your Breyers ice cream and Red Baron Pizza over being thin, so just give it up. But no, I'm the one with a problem, who's "sickly thin" even though I have a 20 BMI. Why are people like this, does nobody know what a normal weight person is supposed to look like?
[Rant/Rave] Finally found the source of the weird smell in my room
/u/dre-ezy [5ā4 | CW 107 | GW 100 | 18FtM]
Created: Thu Aug 9 21:17:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/963c04/finally_found_the_source_of_the_weird_smell_in_my/
---
It was rotting food I forgot I hoarded? Eating disorders are so glam, right?
[Rant/Rave] Some good old fashioned jealousy
/u/lavenderbruises [5'10"|CW 115| GW 100| BMI 16.74| 19F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 21:11:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/963ao7/some_good_old_fashioned_jealousy/
---
My self-esteem comes and goes. These days itās been kinda shittay.
Iāve been hanging out with this girl lately, same age as me. She is so. fucking. beautiful. Like you donāt notice it at first but once you spend more time with her you realize that sheās actually so pretty.
She looks like a legit doll. Of course, she is skinny. Her legs, arms, everything + a tiny waist. Sheās not as tall as me (hardly any girls are) but sheās still tall.
Her skin, though, is what Iām most jealous over. It is flawless. Iām talking smooth, pale as snow, baby-soft. Meanwhile Iām here with my 12 step skincare routine and I still get breakouts left and right.
Her hair is dark brown, glossy, and perfectly wavy. She doesnāt have any balding spots due to stress/malnutrition. Despite her skinniness, she looks super healthy. No dark circles under her eyes, nothing.
Sheās so ladylike. From the way she dresses (cute af), to the way she talks...sheās like a delicate porcelain doll. Meanwhile Iām this awkwardly tall, tanned, weirdo with the thick, beat-up legs and fivehead. I look like an alien that hasnāt slept in days, for realsies.
Some girls really do have it all.
[Rant/Rave] feel like youāre kidding yourself??
/u/SamMav67 [5'6 | 126 | 20.4 | -9 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 20:55:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9636eq/feel_like_youre_kidding_yourself/
---
does anyone else ever feel like youāre not nearly as skinny as you think you are, or you are so much skinnier than you know?? i just need an outside perspective, unbiased, that doesnāt lie like the mirror does. I feel like even the scale isnāt accurate, since everyone carries weight differently. ugh
[Rant/Rave] DAEās ED apply to the lives of other people?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine
Created: Thu Aug 9 20:50:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9635b2/daes_ed_apply_to_the_lives_of_other_people/
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I know I phrased it weirdly but this is what I mean (and I feel really badly about it):
I think my boyfriend could lose some weight (even though heās probably only a few lbs overweight and is extremely muscular, he just has a bit of a tum). Even though he doesnāt NEED to lose it, I just really want him to.
Thatās probably normal. I hear people talking about wanting their SO to lose weight all the time.
Hereās where my ED comes in:
I secretly count the calories of everything he eats while he eats it. Itās usually a lot, so I get anxious for him. I then get annoyed (again, secretly. I never express any of this) when he goes to get an ice cream after having such a large dinner.
I get nervous whenever he misses a workout or takes an extra rest day (he works out 4 days/week).
Hell, his grandmother is in hospice and Iām over here (secretly) annoyed that we havenāt gone to the gym. And itās like OFC we havenāt worked out. Heās a wreck because his grandma is DYING and all I care about over here is the fact that heās losing muscle and I canāt work out. I hate it. I hate myself for it.
I feel absolutely evil, but itās like I canāt shut that stupid ED voice off. Itās not even my own life itās trying to dictate anymore.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? Please help.
My husband won't eat if I don't and it's starting to drive me insane.
/u/exmorbidly
Created: Thu Aug 9 20:40:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9632r5/my_husband_wont_eat_if_i_dont_and_its_starting_to/
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So my husband knows I struggle with eating issues. I used to be morbidly obese and it takes a lot of mental effort to not eat like a fat cow anymore. My husband is honestly a total freaking sweetheart and I know he's doing this because he thinks he's being helpful. I have been using OMAD to lose the rest of my weight, and this mfker thinks that if I'm not eating, he also can't eat around me. So if I skip breakfast and lunch, he will skip them too. But he's a healthy weight with HEALTHY eating habits, and I really don't want to fuck him up. I have literally yelled at him that he can't mimic my eating habits because he's a healthy MALE and doesn't need to lose weight like I do. It's driving me insane and he's STILL DOING IT. AUGHHHH. He got fking dizzy the other day because he didn't eat anything until dinner. God DAMNIT. I am so mad. Idk what to do. Shit.
Addicted to purging.
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Thu Aug 9 20:36:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9631p3/addicted_to_purging/
---
In the couple weeks since I figured how how to purge, things have gotten to really out of control. I don't really binge but at my level of restriction, everything feels like a binge. I've purged strawberries, egg whites, and the sacred Halo top. Somtimes I'm purging 3 or 4 times a day. I'm scared and want this stop but I honestly feel like I have to at this point.
The problem is I'm not ready to recover yet. I want to keep restricting, but I need the purging to stop. Has anyone been in a similar situation and been able to stop purging?
"Do you have any dietary restrictions?"
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 133 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 20:29:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/962zzq/do_you_have_any_dietary_restrictions/
---
How does one answer this to get the fewest calories possible without seeming insane?
Vegan/vegetarian always backfires, you will be fed carbs. In truth "low carb/paleo" is the best approximation of my diet, but people love to argue about that one. I'm feeling like the best bet might be "I have a lot of food allergies, but don't worry, if I know what is in everything I can always find something I can eat" = built-in excuse to avoid things?
Personal Rant: My boss has asked me this approximately ten times already. She is a forgetful person who is also hyper-sensitive about accommodating people's needs, so I'm sure it's not on purpose, but...bitch. I eat salad and water, have you not noticed?
[Help] I have bronkaid, but no caffeine tablets. Will coffee and tea suffice?
/u/missyou0111
Created: Thu Aug 9 20:24:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/962ykz/i_have_bronkaid_but_no_caffeine_tablets_will/
---
Anybody have experience with ephedrine without caffeine outside of coffee or tea?
[Goal] Crazy girl fasts for 3 weeks
/u/strawberrybubblegam
Created: Thu Aug 9 19:36:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/962lwl/crazy_girl_fasts_for_3_weeks/
---
Yāall can ignore itās just a sad bitch ranting. Yeah I fucked up. Got down to 92.5 pounds, somehow I fucked up so bad that Iām back at 105. And college starts in 3 fucking weeks and 1 day. So now Iām exercising 2 times a day and keeping active throughout the day, and straight up fasting for the next 22 days. I know I can do it. I know this is possible bc I will not allow myself to go to college fat. āfatā
Guess Iām posting this for accountability. Xo
(Also my fast will include gum, coffee, tea, diet sodas and sugar free Red Bull)
I just turned 34. Current mental status: "fuck it, this is never going to really change."
/u/ieigh2
Created: Thu Aug 9 19:29:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/962jvj/i_just_turned_34_current_mental_status_fuck_it/
---
After 20 years of various eating disorders, I've realized that my relationship with food is irrevocably fucked up and I will literally never be able to have a normal meal. I mourn the me that could have been able to eat one fucking doughnut from the office workroom, like everyone else. Not either a) eat none at all or b) wait until everyone else has gone home and binge on the stale leftovers, then puke in the office bathroom.
I had five years of relative recovery in my late twenties and I wish I could go back to that. I still obsessed to some degree about food, but I was able to go out to restaurants. I was able to eat dinner with my brother and sister in law without asking them ahead of time what they'd be preparing.
Those of you who are young enough and close enough to the beginning of this to get out, do it before you become me. A sad old lady who will never again know what it is to truly enjoy food.
[Rant/Rave] I just need to vent my feelings
/u/chloeandstella
Created: Thu Aug 9 19:14:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/962g6v/i_just_need_to_vent_my_feelings/
---
I'm having the worst time. I am constantly binging and purging and I feel so disgusted with myself. I have no one I can talk to and all this secrecy and unhealthy habits are getting the best of my mental health. Whenever I am bored, sad, just hanging around I stuff my face with food and then feel disgusting and have to purge. It's an endless cycle I can't get out of. I just eat and eat and it's so gross but I can't stop. I need to get better control of what I'm eating and be more strict. I just want to know I'm not alone and need some advice.
Freezee mono! (Popsicles)
/u/cinnamonsatin
Created: Thu Aug 9 19:04:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/962dht/freezee_mono_popsicles/
---
So my mom came home with like a bazillion freezee popsicle things and I already know Iām gonna binge on them so Iām gonna do a freezee mono tomorrow. They only have around 70 cals in them so as long as I donāt over do it I should be fine. And my mom will notice me eating, which is good. Win win!
Unsure if ED or Not Hungry
/u/RestlessDayDream
Created: Thu Aug 9 18:56:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/962bgv/unsure_if_ed_or_not_hungry/
---
In the last 4 months I've began dieting and I've lost a lot of weight, I started at 210 pounds and last I checked my weight I had gotten down to 170 pounds, I am so proud of myself but now I've gotten on this trend of not eating, I realize my body is hungry, I know I need to eat but I can't really be 'bothered'
I eat once every other day at absolute most but most of the time when I'm not eating I'm not really particularly hungry. Now that I've started on this trend of not eating when I do eat I only want to eat fruits, veggies or lean proteins and I know the amount of calories I'm taking in is not substantial enough for my body but I don't have the urge to have a big meal, I don't really care or lust after food like I use to. I have started doing yoga daily for at least 30 minutes starting this week. I feel good, I don't feel tired or drained or anything.
I just am afraid of developing and ED but at the same time I feel like I've already started down that path.
[other]
/u/PsychHon-student
Created: Thu Aug 9 18:52:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/962ahb/other/
---
Have you had trouble with your eating behaviours?
The eating disorders research team at Deakin University are seeking to better understand the thoughts and feelings that may lead to episodes of binge eating and compensatory behaviours that impact on everyday life.
If you have experienced difficulty with your eating behaviours and are interested in contributing to a research project, we encourage you to follow the link below. Participation in this research project involved the completion of a series of questionnaires related to eating behaviours, as well as thoughts, feelings and urges thought to be associated with difficulties with eating behaviours. This questionnaire is likely to take between 30-45 minutes to complete.
Thank you for your extremely generous contribution to our research.
https://deakinsurveys.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cLVH2rmo4vEsbUV
[Other] Iām fasting until September.
/u/iamthedonquixote [5'5" | CW: too much | gross | GW: 115| F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 18:51:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/962a3r/im_fasting_until_september/
---
I just binged, but couldnāt purge. Not a single thing came out, and I tried so hard to do it.
I wanted to loose weight for school starting, but itās only been a few pounds since I got back from vacation, and yesterday I found out my scale was broken, so I donāt even know if those pounds were legitimate.
I need to be better before I go back to school. Iāve fasted before, and Iāll do it again. Iām fasting until September this time.
I wanna look thin when I meet my roommate
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 116 |UGW 105| F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 18:16:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/96207b/i_wanna_look_thin_when_i_meet_my_roommate/
---
If I could lose 5 pounds in like 11 days thatād be great. But it probably wonāt happen.
[Rant/Rave] I Canāt Wait for Tomorrow!!
/u/jasmine0326
Created: Thu Aug 9 18:10:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/961ydt/i_cant_wait_for_tomorrow/
---
Iāve been heavily restricting this entire week and tomorrow morning Iām going to brunch with my friends and Iāve planned out my order for days lol. Iām getting a waffle with bacon and iām going to eat it all!!! Iām so excited
[Rant/Rave] Just need to vent about recovery
/u/missalligator [5'2" | 102 lb | 18.6 | Recovering]
Created: Thu Aug 9 17:51:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/961tb2/just_need_to_vent_about_recovery/
---
Hey everyone, this isn't too interesting but I just needed somewhere to vent. I've been trying to recover (like really committing) on my own since about March and I've gained about 14 lbs since then. I was feeling pretty good about the health benefits like hair growth, don't have to worry about fainting, just got my period for the first time in a year last week, I don't eat in my sleep anymore, etc. After about 6 years of having an ED I remembered what it felt like to eat normally and function normally. The only issue is that as soon as I reach 106 lbs I get anxious. This is the point that I'm in a healthy BMI and my thighs touch when I walk and my upper arms touch my sides and its making me feel so horrible. Half of me wants to give up and go back to under 1200 a day, if not under 1000. I'm mentally calculating calories and repeating the total to myself over and over in my head again. At work today all day I felt all the fat that has accumulated everywhere and broke down crying in the bathroom. Not saying I'm intending on relapsing, but a huge part of me can't stand this and wants to go back so badly. Anyways, thats it. Just needed to tell someone who understands because no one else will. Thank you and love you all <3
[Goal] No goal?
/u/throwawayyaaaaay123
Created: Thu Aug 9 17:50:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/961sw8/no_goal/
---
Iām relapsing, and I honestly donāt know what my aim is. I donāt have a goal weight, so I feel like Iām really just setting myself up to fail. The less I weigh, the bigger I seem to feel, so I canāt imagine stopping anytime soon. Since BMI is now around 16.3 (15.8 new) I objectively I know I donāt need to lose, but ...
Can anyone relate? Any suggestions? I almost wish I had some concrete goal because then Iād know when to stop.
[Rant/Rave] Light vs. Heavy Restricting
/u/alicereyy
Created: Thu Aug 9 17:46:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/961rx5/light_vs_heavy_restricting/
---
Anyone else heavily restrict majority of the time, like <500 calories. Then have a day of maybe 1200 calories and feel like you're going to gain a ton of weight even though science and logic says the opposite.
CICO just fucks with me sometimes. Even though I still have a calorie defecit, that bloated feeling I get after a normal sized meal just gives me so much anxiety. Like all the weight is going to come rushing back.
I guess I'm just describing my ED.
[Other] changing calories on mfp
/u/deadbigfoot
Created: Thu Aug 9 17:44:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/961rdo/changing_calories_on_mfp/
---
me: sees a post saying you can customize your calorie limit on mfp
me: changes calorie limit from 1400+ to 600 calories
me: eats 375 calories, sees that this is over half of what i have my goal set as
this kills the man
"Take one tablet after food"
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Thu Aug 9 17:19:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/961ke6/take_one_tablet_after_food/
---
Fuck...but I don't start eating until 1pm šššššššš
triggered at therapy
/u/reviic [ā| 5Ā“1.5 | 114lb | BMI21 | HW: 130lb | Trans boy19]
Created: Thu Aug 9 17:07:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/961hbb/triggered_at_therapy/
---
My therapist just called me fat. š¤·š»āāļø We were talking about me doing some excersice to get a more masc bodyshape and we got into talling about diets. And I was like yeah I guess i wanna lose some weight healthily, cuz I used to do some bad binge/purges before. And he was like "oh was that when you were skinny?" And i was like yeah ;-; so guess whos not eating tomorrow? yeah its me, ur local used-to-be-skinny boi
[Rant/Rave] fasting mini rant
/u/andromedagalaxxy [5'6.5 | 128 | 20.4 | -19 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 17:02:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/961fue/fasting_mini_rant/
---
I've been fasting all day. Its currently 7pm and this is usually when i have a tough time and give up. My grandma just got me some vegan ice cream. Trying not to think about it and instead imagining having 1/2 cup as a reward tomorrow.
Idk the point of this post, but it feels better to say what's going on. I really hope I last
Knees give way alot?
/u/Hairless_Human [6' | 161.6 | 21.9 | -118.4 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 9 16:51:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/961csw/knees_give_way_alot/
---
I have noticed ever since I started loosing weight (118 lbs lost so far) that my knees have been giving way quite alot. Currently I only drink 1 naked a day and 1 single can of sprite for work with a tablespoon of psyllium in water. For around 465ish calories I say ish cause my shaky hands cant seem to get a perfect tablespoon in the damn water bottle lol. Just wondering if anyone elses knees do the same.
[Rant/Rave] Just purged for the first time in over a year
/u/almc879213
Created: Thu Aug 9 16:49:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/961c4y/just_purged_for_the_first_time_in_over_a_year/
---
Iām on my period this week and have had cravings for carbs and junk foods out the ass. I gave in today and binged... the worst part was just now when I stopped at Five Guys with my coworker for dinner.
I ate a cheeseburger and a milkshake! God I felt so terrible. I promptly went to the restroom and purged as much as I could, but someone else needing the restroom kept knocking on the door. I know that if they hadnāt, Iād have purged until my stomach was empty.
I feel so disgusting right now. I hate that food. I hate that I ate that food. I hate that all I could think about while eating was the calories (over 1000); I hate knowing that I wonāt eat anything tomorrow because I binged today. Most of all, I hate that I resorted to purging.
I hope that next time I can just exhibit more self control and not eat that much in the first place...
fuck intermittent fasting
/u/xxxrxrrv [5'5 | CW: 106ish | GW: 100 | 23]
Created: Thu Aug 9 16:44:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/961aqd/fuck_intermittent_fasting/
---
i wish i had never heard of it. i want to stop doing it so, so badly. i really hate feeling like the clock controls whether i'm allowed to eat or not.
HOWEVER, i feel way too guilty and upset to function if i'm not constantly doing everything i can to lose weight all the time. i would rather physically suffer and only eat within a certain restricted window of time than mentally suffer the guilt, self-loathing, and shame of knowing i didn't achieve my highest fat-burning potential for the day.
ugh
how do you guys work towards loosening your food/eating rules when working towards recovery ??
Does anyone else have worse anxiety dealing with their ED?
/u/halconpequena [5'7" | gw 108 | 24f | formerly screamingfalcon]
Created: Thu Aug 9 16:41:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9619tv/does_anyone_else_have_worse_anxiety_dealing_with/
---
I feel like I briefly get better for a couple days, but Im at the point where I barely get anything done in a day. I can't explain why, and Im actually good at being social, but Ive ignored most of my friends irl and online. And the weirdest thing is, when I *do* actually do something, Im baffled after the fact how easy it was! How have you guys coped with this? Ive spent several weeks not even going outside really, and I just want to go for a walk, but the thought of this makes me panic. I just dont know why exactly, but it's not going away and I feel really stupid :(
Does anyone self harm to āreplaceā ED behaviors?
/u/sriracha_henny
Created: Thu Aug 9 16:14:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9611xg/does_anyone_self_harm_to_replace_ed_behaviors/
---
I very recently started cutting after I realized that the immense burning guilt and anger I get from bingeing, and knowing how long it will take to lose the 20+ pounds Iāve put on, is too much. I just couldnāt deal with the emotions. Itās like a physical pain that makes me feel too angry and too hot and too *much*. Now Iām trying to cut myself instead of bingeing, or right before I do, so I can possibly dissuade myself and maybe redirect my urges somehow. I know this isnāt exactly sustainable, but frankly, somethings got to give. (Even though I donāt even really think Iām cutting right because my cuts are super shallow lol)
Does anybody else self harm to avoid bingeing? Does this sound relatable to anyone?
[Discussion] Question for you Starbucks baristas out there...
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 16:01:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/960xz7/question_for_you_starbucks_baristas_out_there/
---
Whatās the difference between light Frappuccino base and the regular Frappuccino base? How do you get a light Frappuccino when you order on the app? Whatās the calorie difference? I realized I may have been getting the normal ones and Iām freaking out a little bit.
Mallory-Weiss tear
/u/BlondeActually [Height 5ā4 | CW 94| BMI 16.1| HW 120| LW 89| GW 88 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 15:20:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/960l4g/malloryweiss_tear/
---
So an update to my last post. Went to the doctor since I have nothing better to do and at least an endoscopy gives me a reason to not shove food down my throat for a while.
I have a Mallory-Weiss tear from purging irregularly for less than two weeks. I feel ājealousā of those who can purge continuously or multiple times a day (please donāt judge I know thatās horrible). My body is obviously weak. Starving it is then. I need to get to 88 pounds before I start physically cutting off pieces of my flab with a knife. I canāt even purge right it seems. I want to die.
Chest pains and bruising
/u/KassyDee
Created: Thu Aug 9 15:07:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/960h1o/chest_pains_and_bruising/
---
Hey everyone, I've been low calorie liquid fasting for about 6 days now and ive noticed a bruise in the middle of my chest, no idea how it got there. Has anyone else ever experienced bruising like this? Should i be concerned?
[Goal] I can fit into my "skinny pants" for the first time in 2 years :D
/u/kpatable [5'9.5" | 134 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 15:01:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/960f54/i_can_fit_into_my_skinny_pants_for_the_first_time/
---
Pluuuuus I finally got a crop top and I feel pretty hot in it \\\^\_\~ The pants are kinda snug, but they feel really similarly to how they did when I got them. I haven't really lost much weight since the end of 2016, so I think I must have replaced some fat with muscle. But yeah, anyway, here are some pics of me wearing the pants and the crop top (I know they don't really go together, but I just put them both on for convenience, lol):
https://i.redd.it/e9vfiy83t4f11.jpg
https://i.redd.it/z7ajx139t4f11.jpg
My waist isn't great, but that's one of having gone through male puberty :c
[Tip] Low-cal shiritaki noodle recipe!
/u/throneofweigh [5'7 | 74 kg/163lbs |]
Created: Thu Aug 9 14:59:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/960ekv/lowcal_shiritaki_noodle_recipe/
---
1. Buy shiritaki noodles (20 cals), let them sit in the cupboard for a week while you binge
2. Decide to get back on track, drink so much Metamucil you puke (225 cals)
3. Get out the noodles, realize the package is ripped, realize you don't have enough money for a second package, cook them anyways
4. After 1/2 an hour of cooking noodles realize you have no seasoning and they taste like rubbery ass
5. Warm up beef broth (20 cals)
6. This broth tastes like nothing water, throw it out and warm up chicken broth (20 cals)
7. Dump the chicken broth into the noodles, it tastes like salty water
8. Add half a can of salsa (70 cals)
9. Stare at it, contemplate death for a bit
10. Ignore the taste and just shove it in your mouth so you don't binge on something else
[Other] Well fuck I tried.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 87.4lbs| 14 | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 9 14:46:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/960aeh/well_fuck_i_tried/
---
Went to emergency this morning as directed by my psychiatrist. Had a huge coffee and managed to keep my heartrate up (60 sitting, 45 on ECG). Unfortunately, because I had such a low on Monday (34), my psych is extremely concerned and has insisted on an admission. If I refuse, I will be certified. What really sucks is that they won't just admit me to the hospital in my town because apparenly they're not equipped to deal with things getting worse, so I'm being sent 2 hours away. On the plus side, it's going to be the general medical unit, not psych. Still, I'm losing 2 weeks pay, my partner won't be able to visit, I'll be sitting in bed all day, and no weed.
I've been waiting for nearly 2 hours for them to arrange this whole thing. This is infuriating.
[Other] Well fuck I tried.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 87.4lbs| 14 | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 9 14:45:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/960a95/well_fuck_i_tried/
---
Went to emergency this morning as directed by my psychiatrist. Had a huge coffee and managed to keep my heartrate up (60 sitting, 45 on ECG). Unfortunately, because I had such a low on Monday (34), my psych is extremely concerned and has insisted on an admission. If I refuse, I will be certified. What really sucks is that they won't just admit me to the hospital in my town because apparenly they're not equipped to deal with things getting worse, so I'm being sent 2 hours away. On the plus side, it's going to be the general medical unit, not psych. Still, I'm losing 2 weeks pay, my partner won't be able to visit, I'll be sitting in bed all day, and no weed.
I've been waiting for nearly 2 hours for them to arrange this whole thing. This is infuriating.
[Discussion] Am I really about to purge this?
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Thu Aug 9 14:35:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/960716/am_i_really_about_to_purge_this/
---
Long day at work! And i broughy food hoke bc im trash!
Tuna sub covered in siracha, yeahhhhh boiiiiii.
Idk if I should c / s or purge.... who else gives it this much thought lmao... ?
I've been really bad lately -.-" and I'm sorry if this post is sorta like lazy or ehh...
This community is just my absolute favorite. I feel so comfortable here.
No one is home soooo the time is now muwahahah.
Potlucks at work suck!
/u/Clementineface
Created: Thu Aug 9 14:26:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/960433/potlucks_at_work_suck/
---
I cant escape them!
......"No Susan! I dont want your cold pasta!"
ED voice is so much worse after relapse
/u/Cactuseye [5'1.5| CW 156/7 | SW 162 | GW1 125 | 20f]
Created: Thu Aug 9 14:06:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95zxo1/ed_voice_is_so_much_worse_after_relapse/
---
It started as "eating less" Then "1,200 calories a day" then "800", quickly falling into 500 or below after losing 50 pounds and my mental state got worse and worse. Then I regained and now I'm here again, But now I can't just start out "slow", I plunged into 500-600 a day and all the horrible thoughts that go along with it. I KNOW I need to eat more, I know I'm craving stuff and wanting to binge already because I'm just needing substance. If i ate 1,000 everyday I'll still lose and I know that but my brain thinks it'll be too slow and I'm going to be stuck here forever because I've already had a plateau for weeks. I just feel horrible today and I can't enjoy anything, It's a bad day :(
Friends āweight lossā is driving me INSANE.
/u/sad_and_bougie
Created: Thu Aug 9 14:04:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95zwte/friends_weight_loss_is_driving_me_insane/
---
I hate that this gets to me so much!
I have a āfriendā who I have classes with 3 - 4 times a week. Over the past 3 months Iāve lost 20lbs and got serious about working out and so many people in my life have noticed my weight and complimented me on it.
Except her. Sheās literally the only person who hasnāt said ANYTHING.
Sheās really big (possibly obese) so at first I thought whatever, maybe she just doesnāt notice weight at all.
But in the passed few weeks sheās decided she wants to lose weight. She always tells me how sore she is from working out and that sheās lost la few... Like... I know!? I work out every day and have lost 20lbs!???
It just makes me so mad me that she acts like she doesnāt care about weight loss or fitness when itās MY weight loss but when itās herās I have to listen to her talk about it nonstop.
I donāt eat or drink anything in front of her anymore itās made me so competitive. Iām so scared she loses weight faster because sheās bigger then next thing I know Iām bigger than her.
I was doing really well controlling my ED and losing weight healthily but this has taken my mindset exactly to where it used to be.
Sorry for the rant, I have no one else to talk to this about!
[Discussion] I just wanted to say thanks
/u/mladyisthename
Created: Thu Aug 9 13:59:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95zvh3/i_just_wanted_to_say_thanks/
---
I'm not too involved in this community; I only post every so often, but I read daily. Anyway, I just wanted to say that - as a member of MPA for over 6 years - this place rocks so much better than MPA ever did, even back in the day.
Maybe this might hurt some peoples' feelings, or you disagree, but I can truly say that the people using this forum are heard when they post (MPA has a habit of completely ignoring users - even demonizing them) and the people here have a much better sense of humor overall (besides in the Bulimia Forum on MPA...some of those people need to be in comedy lol).
Either way, y'all rock! Hope everyone is having the best day they can have today - and the day you deserve ā¤
[Rant/Rave] Small mistakes you could easily fix ever make yāall restrict? :/
/u/Belarie
Created: Thu Aug 9 13:49:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95zrye/small_mistakes_you_could_easily_fix_ever_make/
---
So I accidentally got a bit of peanut butter a few days ago onto a form I need to turn into my schoolās athletic office, and now Im low restricting for some reason. My brain is trying to convince me that if Iām skinny they wonāt think Iām a huge fatty who is greasy and sloppy. The damage is done though and I spent almost a hour on the school website trying to find a form I can print of but there isnāt so.. :/ my older sister found out about it and played it off like Iām just stressed.. I was about to hyperventilate and break down.. thanks sis? Haha. I feel super nit picky for some reason posting this, but has something like this ever happened to yāall and your brain just kicks in saying- āthis wouldnāt happen if you were skinny.ā? Ugh..
[Rant/Rave] Went to a restaurant today without looking up the menu beforehand
/u/JimMakingTheFace [5ā5ā | CW:133 | GW: 120]
Created: Thu Aug 9 13:44:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95zq8i/went_to_a_restaurant_today_without_looking_up_the/
---
I know that doesnāt sound like a lot, but I havenāt been able to do that in such a long time
[Discussion] Does anybody else immediately look at the amount of servings total because they know they are going to eat the whole thing?
/u/lolawings6363
Created: Thu Aug 9 13:30:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95zlum/does_anybody_else_immediately_look_at_the_amount/
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I do this all the time. Because I lack any sort of self control I wonāt just look at one serving. I look at the total amount.
Those of you who exercise compulsively, hour did it start?
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Aug 9 13:16:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95zh9z/those_of_you_who_exercise_compulsively_hour_did/
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I'm sitting here seriously considering ditching work early so I can go to the gym for the second time today without my boyfriend knowing. All because I ate 900 calories today instead of 700.
Haven't had above 50 kcals in over 2 weeks.
/u/Arionai [5'8 | CW: 134 | HW: 250 | -116lbs | 18F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 13:07:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95zeav/havent_had_above_50_kcals_in_over_2_weeks/
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Weight has plummeted, scared my psych is gonna throw a fit. He ordered an impromptu blood test for tomorrow morning, but I've been throwing out the bananas I was supposed to be eating.
I want to eat so much, I'm so fucking hungry and throwing up bile, since before I went down to 0-50, I was barely eating 200 on a good day. Stomach is cramping. I feel like I'm gonna collapse constantly. But I'm not underweight so who cares zz.
I want to eat. I don't want to eat. Fuck this Anorexia so much. It's ruining my life.
[Rant/Rave] Whyyyyyy
/u/thicclucc
Created: Thu Aug 9 13:01:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95zcfv/whyyyyyy/
---
When you promise yourself that youāre gonna fast today but your mom gets Little Caesarās :^))))))))))
[Discussion] Does anybody else get mouth ulcers after purging?
/u/imgonnaloseitall
Created: Thu Aug 9 12:47:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95z7nb/does_anybody_else_get_mouth_ulcers_after_purging/
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I have like 3 on the insides of my cheek and the inside of my lip. They are kinda painful and they make me feel gross. I think they are because of purging, I've been purging a lot lately...
[Rant/Rave] *sigh* its back again, and stronger this time [Rant]
/u/quesoandcats
Created: Thu Aug 9 12:04:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95yu6l/sigh_its_back_again_and_stronger_this_time_rant/
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I've really been struggling with disordered eating for a while now. There was a period of my life a few years ago where my diet consisted entirely of water, protein shakes, and smoothies. I was struggling to eat 600 calories a day. With the help of my therapist I was able to replace a lot of my disordered eating habits with healthier habits.
I've finally accepted that I'm relapsing. I hate my stupid brain, I know its not normal to weigh every single gram of food I put into my body, or get an endorphin rush from restricting food. Fuck guys, I thought I was doing ok...
[Rant/Rave] Ugh
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Thu Aug 9 12:02:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95yte3/ugh/
---
I starve and restrict, I gain 6 pounds. I binge, I lose 4. I am so confused and irritated. It's becoming so discouraging. I never want to eat again.
I just want thin, dainty legs that donāt touch
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Thu Aug 9 11:28:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95yi6c/i_just_want_thin_dainty_legs_that_dont_touch/
---
But my legs are long and mostly muscle from the years of catching I did. Now theyāre massive and muscly and I hate them. Ironically I get lots of compliments on my legs.
[Discussion] Lunch time! DAE say screw food and just have a diet soda for a meal replacement? It keeps me full for hours. I'll probably have another one for dinner.
/u/daddysrexibabygirl
Created: Thu Aug 9 11:17:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95yeqp/lunch_time_dae_say_screw_food_and_just_have_a/
---
https://i.redd.it/vby0e3zkp3f11.jpg
Final push toward goal weight.
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1 | 200 | 26.5 | -170 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 9 11:13:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ydjg/final_push_toward_goal_weight/
---
So I've lost a bunch of weight (100 + lbs) several times and gained it back because of binging. For the last 8 months I've actually been the same weight (200 lbs, 6'1 and muscular). I had never been near 200 lbs for more than a month since I was like 11, and was more regularly in the 280-330 range (was 370 at my heaviest). I only eat greek yogurt, protein powder, some chicken, and vegetables (My maintenance is around 3300 calories because I workout hard an hour plus everyday).
I'm now super psyched to be doing the final push to hit my goal weight. Been doing 1700 calories for the last 4 days. If I can keep this up, I should be at my 180 lb goal weight in 6-8 weeks. I would push my calories lower, but then I lose too much muscle. Posting this as a personal commitment device. Once I hit my goal weight I'm going to try to learn to eat foods I enjoy again and maybe not binge... we will see how that goes.
Face looks larger after eating?
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_ [5'6 | CW 131.2 | GW 120 | UGW 100| F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 11:13:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ydea/face_looks_larger_after_eating/
---
Yesterday I decided to treat myself because A) I ended up not being drug tested B) I had a friend blow up on me to which I finally enforced boundaries my therapist & psychologist have advised me to do & C) Because I just completed a semi strenuous hike during shit weather & was going to go walking after eating.
It surprising hasn't led to a binge. But instantly after ingesting the small vegetable/chicken curry (golly do I love boutique grocerie stores) my face just looked fatter. Which semi fucked me up. Which definitely fueled me getting in five more miles but maybe it's normal right? Cells expanding? Could my face actually expand like my stomach?????? I did gain 1.5 to 2 pounds from eating....
grapefruit essential oil...realllyyyy helps!
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Thu Aug 9 11:10:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ycao/grapefruit_essential_oilrealllyyyy_helps/
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I read online that grapefruit essential oils helps to suppress appetite. There is this lovely kiosk at a mall near me which sells sooooo many different oils and the woman is sooooo sweet (not those pushy mall kiosk people).
Anyway....I stopped by one day and she had the grapefruit essential oil! I tried putting a little on my wrist kinda as a perfume...but it didn't have much staying power.
I bought a electric oil diffuser a few days back and it is wonderful and really helps me when I am at home. The grapefruit extract honestly DOES work to suppress appetite. I also love the water noises it makes and the relaxing lights. I am posting because I am chilling here right now, kinda wanted to eat, but now it has dissipated.
I was hesitant with the idea behind this and it was a little investment for me, but I highly recommend it guys!!!
It also doesn't hype me up like my EC when I just want to sit and relax.
Do you guys ever just eat salt or seasonings by itself? Like as a snack?
/u/thrownawaykalbi
Created: Thu Aug 9 11:07:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ybe1/do_you_guys_ever_just_eat_salt_or_seasonings_by/
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So okay imma preface this shit by saying im high so it may not be the best well written.
I have thIs things where if i am craving a salty cajun seasoning type of crunchy snack, instead i just pour out the seasoning itself into a little bowl and i lick the seasoning on the bottom of the bowl instead. Its like you get all the flavors of the salty, spicy, crunchy snack you wanyed but with 0 calories. Well, thats what is says on the bottle for the cajun spice... 0 calories per 1/4 tablespoon. So probably if you eat more thab that there might be a few but still a negligent amount.
But yeah anyway what my point is, is It really wierd of me that i sit around in my room licking salt/spices from a bowl grain by grain as a bordeom sback?
[Rant/Rave] My scale wonāt shut up
/u/online-waifu [5'3" | CW 210 | GW 175 | UGW 120 | 19F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 10:56:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95y7qv/my_scale_wont_shut_up/
---
My brother got this really nice scale and heās never around to use it. Itās super accurate and itās a cute copper/ rose gold :-) the issue is, everytime I get on it, it beeps and the whole house can hear it!
I know my mom knows I weigh myself about 7 times a day. I hate it. I wish it was quiet- I donāt want anyone suspecting anything.
[Discussion] Food scented candles. Yea or Nay?
/u/ObscuredBear [š 156cm | HW:172 CW:114 GW:92 | 23NB š]
Created: Thu Aug 9 10:39:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95y2al/food_scented_candles_yea_or_nay/
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My room currently permeated with the aroma of 'sea salt caramel popcorn'. Mmmmm. Yesterday was 'lemon biscotti'.
Most days I find the candles help me stay satisfied with same-y meals.
Sometimes they just worsens a craving. Caramel popcorn...
Yourself? Yea or Nay?
Mukbangs are hit or miss too. Usually depends on if I have access to the food being ~~binged on~~ eaten by the BJ.
[Other] My poor body
/u/crankyhedgiebutt
Created: Thu Aug 9 10:38:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95y1v7/my_poor_body/
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Ugh guys itās been a rough week personally and ED wise. I finally like a guy since my ex and he likes me but Iām leaving town soon so he said we shouldnāt see each other again because he canāt take the heartbreak. Of course I respected his decision but damn does it suck.
I was supposed to see him last night and took a laxative the night before so Iād be thinner and not bloated. Wasted laxative. And I have purged twice this week already. And took laxatives twice. I know the neighbors heard my purge the other night and my housemates heard it last night. Luckily theyāre nice enough not to say anything. I couldnāt even get rid of all the food because it was gonna be too loud :( so that sucked.
I hate that the scale hasnāt moved whatsoever even though clothes are looser. Itās killing me inside and all I wanna do is throw up everything. I feel disgusting and am supposed to go workout in like an hour with people. Iām super bloated fml.
And I havenāt pooped normally all summer, I wonāt for weeks. Idk whatās going on with my body. It really really blows.
This Week Has Been Misery
/u/fluoreffervescent
Created: Thu Aug 9 10:34:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95y0r6/this_week_has_been_misery/
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Hi everyone! I've been having an awful week and it is just exacerbating my EDs in such a painfully obvious way (crying over bagels, less than 500 calorie days, that kind of thing).. does anyone have any good music to share? Recommend a song and I will listen to it. Anything to stop my mind from running around and around in a stupid circle of worry.
Avira Internet Security Suite 15.0.37.326 Crack & License Key [Win + Mac]
/u/aryan167
Created: Thu Aug 9 09:55:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95xnou/avira_internet_security_suite_15037326_crack/
---
http://crackfullreal.com/avira-internet-security-suite-license-key-free/
Pool Party š
/u/TouchedDistortion
Created: Thu Aug 9 09:53:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95xn6h/pool_party/
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TLDR; been eating well this week bc I ate like crap this week and there's a pool party coming up. Yesterday my "clean" eating came to an abrupt stop (~1500kcal (probably more) for JUST dinner and dessert) and idk if I'm going to be able to control myself today so I don't feel absolutely horrible in a bathing suit this weekend.
So sorry for the long post don't even need anyone to read it I just need to get it out there bc I sure as shit can't tell my friends this
I've been living at my parents house for the past 2 weeks and they ALWAYS have snack food in the cupboard for my little brother, but since he's away at sleep-over camp IM eating them.
My friend is throwing a pool party on Friday/Saturday and my goal was since I stuffed my face with crap last week to just fast most of the day and do OMAD with whatever dinner my mom makes (which is usually quite healthy). I was doing really well but yesterday shit got crazy and I didn't eat until 7pm and even when I did I felt in control. We had to order in dinner bc of everything going on and I probably ate over 700 calories for that meal (a massive falafel laffa), which is a lot, but whatever if it's the only thing I'm eating, but then my cat knocked over a plant and I noticed after the fact and the water from the plant had already stained the wood on my parents piano. So what did I do?? I went to go get a massive frozen yogurt with ALL the topping - felt sick less than half way through eating it but my dumbass STILL are the whole thing.
The worst part is that idk if I can control myself today, I told my mom I would eat chicken for lunch and then I'm also going to need to eat what she makes for dinner, and I feel like shit and don't want to exercise and am craving any and all junk foods. And imma need to wear a bathing suit in front of all my friends this weekend and I am STRESSED.
anyone who's lost their period? D:
/u/whatsupbitchezzz [19F | 5'2" | CW 108 | SW 130 | GW2-105 UGW-95]
Created: Thu Aug 9 09:45:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95xkiz/anyone_whos_lost_their_period_d/
---
I was pretty sure you have to be super thin to lose your period. I'm a whopping 5 days late on mine and while I was furiously googling, worried sick about being pregnant, I was reminded an ED can cause you to lose it. I'm not even close to underweight but I purge pretty much daily and use a lot of stimulants. I'm also the thinnest I've been since 7th grade at 20. Any insight would be greatly appreciated, I can't bring myself to take a test.
[Help] Failing at reaching my FIRST weekly goal.
/u/EDthrowaway8888 [5'6 | CW 145.2 | BMI 23.3 | Weight Lost 20.6 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 09:26:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95xefg/failing_at_reaching_my_first_weekly_goal/
---
Bit of a rant, but also seeking advice. So I set some goals that are not even that intense and Iām already failing. Iām doing OMAD and eating around 1,000 calories. Then out of nowhere, I woke up fucking two pounds heavier after running 3 miles, doing 30 minutes of HIIT, and biking for 15 minutes. I only ate around 900 calories. I thought, maybe itās just water retention from the exercise, so yesterday I ate 500 calories, ran 3 miles, and drank a ton of water and Iām still a pound heavier than I was (145.2 a few days ago and now Iām 146.2). My goal for tomorrow was 145.0 and Iām upset that even eating under 1,000 most days and exercising so much still isnāt doing anything. How can I NOT be losing at this rate? I donāt know what to do because if I miss my goal tomorrow Iām going to be behind and I donāt want to shift all my goals which proves Iām a failure. Do I fast today? Do I exercise more? Ugh.
[Discussion] Period
/u/n34543
Created: Thu Aug 9 09:18:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95xbz9/period/
---
I had lost my period from July 2017 to April 2018 and then got it back for 2 months and then lost it again. I feel like maybe this is really bad but I'm not sure. Will this cause permanent damage?
Anyone used phentermine?
/u/fitisthegoal [F21|5'6|CW127 |GW110]
Created: Thu Aug 9 08:34:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95wxy3/anyone_used_phentermine/
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So my family lives in Mexico which means access to percscription pills OTC and I brought back 'Fentermina' which is American Phentermine and I seriously am in love. Anyone have any experience semi long term with it? I've tried reading online but you're not supposed to take it unless you have a BMI over 25 so all the online threads are for people actively perscriped it for weight loss.
It makes me feel on top of the world and in control way more than adderall ever has.
xx thank you all š
Experience with Zoloft?
/u/jesusisahoe
Created: Thu Aug 9 08:11:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95wred/experience_with_zoloft/
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I basically want to kill my self so I figured now is a good of time as ever to start trying out medications. Iām On day 3 of Zoloft so I really have no idea whatās gonna happen. Does anyone know if or how it affects weight or mood? I also have Xanax because my doctor doesnāt know Iām a recovered addict lol go me
Boy, I hate myself today.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Thu Aug 9 08:10:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95wr8t/boy_i_hate_myself_today/
---
And I don't know what's going on. Because I'm tracking my calories and doing more cardio and I didn't binge this weekend, and my weight is still up, and I feel like a fat fucking pig.
Is there a way I can just *not* eat food ever again. I want to fade away. Just fast until I turn translucent and ghostly and people wonder if I'm even human anymore.
[Help] Scale is making me insane, help
/u/Maddiesin
Created: Thu Aug 9 07:52:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95wm6r/scale_is_making_me_insane_help/
---
I'm going insane. I just recently started weighing myself again after I banned the scale for a long time because I tried to recover and failed lol. Now of course I gained weight. My lw was 41kg and I felt more beautiful than ever. My highest was at 45kg and when I saw that number un the scale I just died. I started restricting again and slowly the weight is dropping again this morning I was super happy so see 42.8kg again last week I was at 43.4 so that weight loss seemed accurate to me. I stepped on again and suddenly it showed 44.2kg. Wtf. I panicked. I took the scale to another spot in the room - 44.2kg. Panic. If this is my actual weight I'll go insane. I'm serious. So I took it back to the first spot I weighed myself at - 42.8kg. I put 3 1.5l water bottles onto the scale. It showed 4.5kg which is the correct weight. Stood on the scale again : 42.7 kg.
But the higher weight is stuck in my head and I'm going insane. Which on is my right weight? Anyone have an idea? Oh my God I'm seriously feeling so bad rn
What are your binge foods? And what typically considered "binge/fear foods" have no effect on you?
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Thu Aug 9 07:46:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95wkg2/what_are_your_binge_foods_and_what_typically/
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* Those foods that you know you cant keep around the house because once you start eating them you cant stop.
For me:
\- Penaut Butter- The main culprit of my weight gain. I could EASILY eat the whole jar in one sitting. I don't buy it anymore
\- White Rice- I used to own a rice cooker and I would eat rice with soy sauce and BUTTER ugh. I gave it away and now I cook whole grain rice in a pot
\- Potato Chips
\- Pop Corn- the coco vanilla flavour
\- Peanuts
\- Honey-flavored cereal
\- Chessmen Butter cookies- When I went to the US I tried these cookies from Target
\- Cashew Nuts- thank god I can't afford them
\- Gyozas
\- Banana Chips
* some foods that have no effect on me are:
\- Cheetos, Doritos and all flavored chips- I find them disgusting
\- Ice cream- I would prefer to spend my calories in something else
\- Anything that may have mayo on it
\- Cheese- or anything that may include non-melted cheese or too much cheese
\- Starbucks drinks or milkshakes
\- Sodas
\- Oreos- they are ok, but not great.
\- Beer and Alcohol in general- I don't even like alcohol, I just drink to feel a little more "social". I usually only drink wine.
\- Onion Rings
\- Dulce de Leche- Very typical in my country. I don't like it that much.
[Other] I GOT MY VYVANSE PRESCRIPTION.
/u/KattyWampus666 [:karma:163cm | SW: 123kg CW: 93kg GW: ? | 27F:karma:]
Created: Thu Aug 9 07:31:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95wgdv/i_got_my_vyvanse_prescription/
---
**I feel amazing right now. For once Im honestly not thinking about food.**
Anyone know how long after taking a dose the urge to eat will return? Going to try to fast all day.
[Rant/Rave] Do you ever have one of those days...
/u/MilknBones
Created: Thu Aug 9 07:26:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95wf5a/do_you_ever_have_one_of_those_days/
---
Where youāre like, I want a donut, and then you eat one and youāre like, man, that wasnāt even that good, totally not worth it, and then you eat 7 more cause fuck me.
[Help] Doing CICO but not losing weight??
/u/miserablemei
Created: Thu Aug 9 07:20:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95wdfb/doing_cico_but_not_losing_weight/
---
Hey guys, Iāve been fasting and restricting to 500 calories a day (besides yesterday when I had 652), but I wonāt lose even an ounce! I feel so dejected, like no matter how little I eat and how much I exercise my scale wonāt even budge and I feel disgusting. Does anyone have this issue? Also, my BMI is at 30 right now so itās not as if Iām underweight or anything. It should be easier to lose this weight no?
[Rant/Rave] I havenāt eaten in 3 days and....
/u/Night-in-gale
Created: Thu Aug 9 07:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95wbbe/i_havent_eaten_in_3_days_and/
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....am afraid to start again.
Iām not even hungry, maybe slightly light headed.
Iām going bouldering (like every day) with my friends later.
Iām currently debating if I can allow myself a small hot chocolate before or not.
I hate feeling like this. I wish I could just be normal and have some god damn food but my mind wonāt let me.
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support August 09, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 9 06:11:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95vvwo/weekly_emotional_support_august_09_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 09, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 9 06:10:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95vvmo/daily_food_diary_august_09_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 09, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] all my fucking rings are too small now
/u/ladytulips [5'7'' | 114lbs | 17.7 | -28lbs | 19F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 05:53:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95vrko/all_my_fucking_rings_are_too_small_now/
---
every single one of my favorite rings are too small to the point of them falling right off my fingers.. two gorgeous custom rings that are engraved that i got from my mom, a beautiful ring my boyfriend got me from his visit from Greece. i have this thing where all the jewelry i get have special meanings, and my rings are the most sentimental to me.
i had dainty hands to begin with, i got so many compliments on them - but now theyāre always blueish purple or red, my nails keep breaking from being so brittle, i have some aggressive looking veins and they just look so... malnutritioned.
i hate the illusion of control this illness gives me, i think i have it all under control but in reality i lack it in every form. i donāt get to pick which parts of me that will slim down. my hips and stomach and thighs are still bulky and fleshy, but my fucking shoulders are bony and my hands look skeletal, and not in a good way. this disorder makes me lose more than weight. iām losing my health, my life, my sanity, my energy, my hair, my jobs, everything is deteriorating around me. it feels like iām desperately clasping onto sand that is spilling from the cracks between my fingers, quietly watching as everything is slipping away so very slowly.
[Rant/Rave] uuggghhh
/u/Sgt_rumble
Created: Thu Aug 9 05:28:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95vlvt/uuggghhh/
---
Canāt stop eating today... why is it when you start heavily restricting again itās so hard???
Iāve eaten 2 tacos and some sushi and then I went back to the fridge and grabbed a plain tortilla which is 137 cals, but since my mum and bf are home I canāt purge so Iām in the bathroom c/s because I can do that quietly
Itās just not satisfying me though :(
Someone pm me some meanspo please, Iām having such a hard time right now :ā(
[Other] halo top binge š
/u/turdddburger
Created: Thu Aug 9 05:15:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95vj9o/halo_top_binge/
---
https://i.redd.it/27wuo8j1x1f11.jpg
[Tip] Delicious soup for 245 calories!
/u/c_marier [5'6" | 109.6 | 17.76 | 24F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 04:53:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ve8f/delicious_soup_for_245_calories/
---
Friends, I just made an amazingly delicious soup and am eating it as I sit here typing and just had to share with y'all. Be warned: it looks like wet cement mixed with old oatmeal, but it tastes like the comforts of home on a rainy Saturday afternoon when you don't need to leave the house for the rest of the weekend.
120 grams\* of onion
102 grams\* cremini mushrooms
342 grams\* cauliflower
1 cup chicken broth
100 grams milk\*\*
2 cloves garlic
Salt, pepper, thyme, and whatever other shit you wanna throw in there.
Chop everything up, simmer for like twenty minutes until cauliflower is tender, blitz that up with a hand blender, and boom - lots of "creamy" thick soup to warm your cold little soul <3
\*Just what I had on hand in the fridge, but proportions worked pretty well for me.
\*\*Could probably sub this for more chicken broth if you're looking to cut calories further. Also I didn't have skim, so that would cut the recipe down a bit.
I want to weigh myself
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Thu Aug 9 04:49:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95vdjt/i_want_to_weigh_myself/
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I'm already so obsessed again with counting and restricting and I know that as soon as I step on the scales it will become another obsessive feather to put in my cap.
But I can't stop thinking about it. We have scales at work and I want to see if the deficit I've had has made a meaningful difference.
I'm so fricken obsessed again it's all I can think of. I can't work. I can't plan my holiday with my bf. I don't want to see my friends.
I just want to restrict, workout and shed this weight.
Urgh it's exhausting. How did I come back into it so quickly. It's like I can't just allow myself to be happy and settled
Reached a plateau and super frustrated - how do I get out of it?
/u/LittleLightFawn [5'5" | CW: 142 | SW: 149 | Lost: -7 | LW]
Created: Thu Aug 9 04:02:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95v40s/reached_a_plateau_and_super_frustrated_how_do_i/
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So the first 7lbs were fairly easy to lose. I dropped 2-3lbs a week easily by restricting to 400-800 cals per day with one treat day a week. That was a month ago. Seeing the scales steadily move was so empowering, so motivating. But now I've reached a plateau and seem to be bouncing around between 142 and 144 for the past 3 weeks, despite sticking to the same calorie limits. I'm literally tracking every calorie in, and I mean, realistically I should still be steadily losing even if I stay at 1,200 per week, but it's sucks eating so little and still not losing. What am I doing wrong? Even on my cheat days I don't go over 1,500! How do you guys get out of a plateau? Should I try high-restricting (\~300 max calories per day) or water fasting a few days a week? I feel so fat and gross :(
[Help] When did you lose your period? Is it ever just one missed period?
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 121 | GW: 116 | 21F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 03:54:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95v2in/when_did_you_lose_your_period_is_it_ever_just_one/
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My period has been late before but I've never completely missed one. My last period was mid June. I've taken 4 pregnancy tests over the course of the past month, but all are negative.
I do heavily restrict sometimes, but I also have binges relatively often. I've had a BMI consistently lower before than what it's been this summer so I'm really confused.
When you lose your period, is it typically gone for a while? Or does it just depend?
[Other] drunk and thinking of yāall
/u/goneralphio
Created: Thu Aug 9 03:04:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95usum/drunk_and_thinking_of_yall/
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we got this!!! food is fuel and life is good. wish yāall the best. im drunk so rn is a perfect time to message me if u want to vent. good luck sisters and brothers l
competitive friend makes me furious :(
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Thu Aug 9 02:20:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ul3t/competitive_friend_makes_me_furious/
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I have no idea why I feel so threatened by this and I'm really ashamed and annoyed actually that it does, but I have this friend who's actually a quite nice person, but she always tries to lose weight and since I lost a bunch thanks to my ED, she has become manipulative and always tried to get me into eating stuff. Often, I eat so much infront of her just to piss her off and constantly talk about how I love this or that junk food, and when I'm in binge phases, I reach out to hang out with her and get her to eat with me too so a) she see's I'm eating and I'm 'not even trying' (lol) and b) becomes fat herself. She does that too, like when she gets herself cake, she gets me a slice too, and she knows I hate that kind of cake, so I guess it's only so she feels better about herself.
She does work out a lot, but now she's doing insane amounts almost every day and hangs out with another friend and they go on long bike rides and hikes..this makes me so irrationaly mad because I see this as a threat to my own weight loss, but also because they do it for fun and I would get dizzy just riding my bike for 5 minutes because my body is wrecked from all the starving. And she can't STOP talking about how much she works out and praises herself yada yada. Ugh. I can't even tell if she lost weight or gained because it looks so different every day? This makes me so nervous :(
Also, she has switched from only trying to get me to eat more to also not eating herself - like, when we're in a store she tries to persuade me to get super high caloric stuff, but when I ask why she doesn't eat it herself if it's so good, the trembles and goes like 'uh, no, I(!) could never do that!' BITCH THEN WHY SHOULD I?
She's always talking about other friends badly when they lose weight and told me about two that they 'look like skeletons now and became soooo thin and maybe that's why friend x is so bitchy now, because she's hungry all the time!!11!' - I swear those friends haven't even lost weight, maybe like 2 pounds but it's not visible at all. I, on the other side, have gone from BMI 30 to 19, so I wonder what she thinks about me?
Ugh. I feel like such a bad person and I have no idea if she really is manipulative and tries to sabotage me or if I'm really just super paranoid :( Today, she's making brownies for a class and told me several times she's gonna bring me some over. If it was someone else I'd be so happy that they're so nice, but with her I feel like if I even touch those brownies and not throw them out I'll 'lose the game' :( Gosh I'm such a mess! Sorry for the rant!
[Thinspo] i guess that's what i get for self posting on the thinspo sub lmao
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 110|17.2|UGW: 105|F]
Created: Thu Aug 9 01:01:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95u6n7/i_guess_thats_what_i_get_for_self_posting_on_the/
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https://i.redd.it/125l1wdpn0f11.png
[Rant/Rave] I ate 3 cookies and milk and now I'm crying
/u/Cactuseye [5'1.5| CW 156/7 | SW 162 | GW1 125 | 20f]
Created: Thu Aug 9 00:59:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95u641/i_ate_3_cookies_and_milk_and_now_im_crying/
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My puppy woke me up and all I could think about was eating cookies and milk, I obsessed over it and tried to resist. Dang mint chocolate cookies, I feel so horrible about it. It was "only" 280 calories, it wasn't a binge, It satisfied my craving. But all I can think is how I already had a higher lunch planned tomorrow and now it's either going to be a high day or I'll have to get away with less. I feel like weightloss is going so slow to begin with and this'll set me back(But I know it won't).
Just a whiny stupid vent, I hate myself
The good thing about getting your heartbroken...
/u/alovelytime
Created: Thu Aug 9 00:44:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95u3gy/the_good_thing_about_getting_your_heartbroken/
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At least for me, is that my mind automatically loses all reasoning and assumes he left because I'm an ugly whale.
So what do I do?
I start excessively going to the gym, meal prepping basic chicken and veggies, and include moisturizing my entire body into my nightly routine.
I'm starting to see some actual results here. My arms are looking thin but defined, and I don't hate my body as much but now I see the potential in continuing this routine. Really though, my skin has never felt so soft and I know that's such a random thing to add but I started buttering up every night because he once told me my legs were ridiculously soft. This was after I had just gotten a new lotion that I would only use on my legs.
Anyway, I can feel my body shrinking and I've gotten compliments as well as concerned questions from friends and family which means that it's not just all in my head and I'm actually getting thinner. It's the only thing that makes me feel slightly happy for now.
Why do I weigh less at night? What is my true weight
/u/EDtwED
Created: Thu Aug 9 00:35:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95u1ua/why_do_i_weigh_less_at_night_what_is_my_true/
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I've been realizing I weigh 3.8 pounds less at night than I do in the morning, but I know your morning weight is your "true weight" but ??? Maybe the ~4 pounds is all water weight.
I also don't know why I care so much when I can't see the difference in a mirror but im so confused
Fainted while driving- am ok no panic pls
/u/starvy_punk
Created: Thu Aug 9 00:13:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95txe6/fainted_while_driving_am_ok_no_panic_pls/
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TL; DR HERE: So yeah my dumbass fainted while i was driving. Fasted for too long and couldve killed someone or myself. Nice job.
So yeah the ladt few weeks ive dropped to my lowest weight 155, 6'1" and ive basically just been going for like 1200 calories on workdays and fasting on my day off. Even at that ive been pretty shaky overall cause i work a very physical job and burn a lot just existing really. I think where i fucked up is i usually have one day off a week so im not fasting for more than 30 or so hours usually, but this week i have 2 days off, and im halfway through my second day. So i was feeling hella shaky and weak and i decided id go buy a few things from the store, come home for a few hundred calories and then go to bed.
And i get dumber and decide to drive. I was good to the store but on my way back the weakness and shaky was so bad. I could barely press the clutch. And as took the car out of gear as i took a turn i could feel it coming on. The same way like if your bending down whole restricting, and your just starting to stand up. That *fuck this is about to happen* feeling.
Luckily i was out of gear and going slow. Woke up to a guy tapping on my window asking if im ok.
I panicked and put it in gear and zipped straight home.
Cannot believe how stupid this was. Im just chillijg now that i ate a little abd cannot, just cannot fathom my owb stupidity. Couldve killed someone or myself just cause my stupid fucking vanity.
[Discussion] What do you guys think about a proEDjerk subreddit?
/u/pointlessparadox [5'4" | bmi 21 | 16 ftm | gw 105 | cw 125 | hw 160]
Created: Thu Aug 9 00:13:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95txd9/what_do_you_guys_think_about_a_proedjerk_subreddit/
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Itād be sorta like r/1200isjerky but welcoming to ED stuff. The posts wouldnāt need to be moderated much, and off topic things would be allowed. Harassment would be dealt with ofc.
Some examples of things that could a sub like this could contain:
- Posts about disordered stuff from other subs
- Extreme low cal food worship
- Finding people with similar hobbies
- Low effort memes
- Super dark jokes
I think it would be a nice break from all the serious discussions, somewhere to just chat, shitpost, and joke about how fucked up our lives are.
How many people would be down to visit/contribute to a sub like this?
[Rant/Rave] I hate clothes shopping
/u/NekoNekoBlai
Created: Thu Aug 9 00:07:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95tw9g/i_hate_clothes_shopping/
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I want new clothes but I know regardless of what I buy Iāll look disgusting bc Iām still fat and no where near my goal
[Help] Veggie Dip
/u/skinnylove73 [5'10 | 124 | 17.35 | -16 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 23:28:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95tole/veggie_dip/
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Hello all you beautiful souls - i love carrots and hummus; but, i was just wondering if anyone had any alternatives to hummus for lower calorie things..?
Can someone please relate
/u/Sockapoodledoo
Created: Wed Aug 8 23:02:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95tj53/can_someone_please_relate/
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Hi fellow bingers and purgers
Planning to go out to eat with family tomorrow and then come home and throw it all up. My disordered ass is looking forward to this.
So Iām looking at the menu trying to decide what I want to order and on one hand Iām like...better have a salad because the lower the amount of calories that get left over the better.
But on the other hand Iām like...BET. Itās all coming up anyway might as well **ball out** and enjoy it. Chicken and waffles? Cheeseburger? Poāboy? Dessert? SERVE IT UP FAM weāre feasting *tonight.*
Ive been thinking about it all day and canāt decide. I try to stay away from planned binges but *here we are*. And oh so many options...
[Discussion] how to make food feel more satisfying? mental hunger vs physical hunger?
/u/scornedcinnamon [4'11.5" | CW: 93 | 18.5 | GW: 80 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 22:52:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95th5l/how_to_make_food_feel_more_satisfying_mental/
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i'm technically high restricting, but i have so much more mental hunger than physical hunger. it's the weirdest thing. i'll eat literally a few bites of what i intended to eat and feel like my stomach is full/bloated-ish, but i'll continue to think about food for so long that i end up finishing the rest of the meal within 20 minutes or so and feeling even more full. i actually enjoy vegetables and fruits and stuff but they're not satisfying to me (even tho my family cooks vegetables in oil etc). so when i do end up eating the calorie dense stuff (high protein/fat stuff like peanut butter, protein bars, etc) on top of the low cal stuff, it makes my stomach feel really uncomfortable and basically stretches it. and then some days the calorie dense stuff feels so hyperpalatable that i overeat that too lmao. so now i'm used to going past my stomach cues, eating more calories than i feel my body wants to, and feeling wholly unsatisfied with food lol.
does any one have any tips on how to make food feel more satisfying? distraction tips? experiences? i try to distract myself when i feel physically full but mentally "hungry" but it never lasts long lol. i can feel physically full after dinner but sooner or later i find myself online shopping for food i'll never get and then i'll cave and end up eating peanut butter, putting me over my cals for the day.
3 words to describe you now and at UGW
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Wed Aug 8 21:57:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95t4li/3_words_to_describe_you_now_and_at_ugw/
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The words don't have to be positive or negative. It's just how you perceive yourself now and how you think you'll be at your goal weight ~go!~
**Now**:
* Frumpy
* Loud
* Organised
**UGW**:
* Waif
* Delicate
* Organised
[Rant/Rave] Calories donāt count when youāre on vacation...
/u/alexis-ruth
Created: Wed Aug 8 21:51:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95t37q/calories_dont_count_when_youre_on_vacation/
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....but they count double when you get home. Ha. Ha ha. Ha. š
I wanted to try all the local food while I was on vacation, but then today when I made an āappreciation postā on Instagram of a bunch of stuff I ate I was like....yikes. Then I stepped on the scale like....double yikes. Then I put in my work pants and....triple yikes.
Good thing I spent wayyyy too much money while I was gone so I can justify not buying myself extra food/snack while Iām at work or at my boyfriendās house and sticking to planned meals for a while. Hopefully.
[Help] Vacation weight gain
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 116 |UGW 105| F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 21:48:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95t2pf/vacation_weight_gain/
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So Iām on vacation and weāve been eating out for every meal. Iām so afraid of how much weight Iāll gain. Iāll have to restrict once i get back and Iāll exercise. And Iāll hella restrict once I get to school.
Prozac and weight
/u/catcatcatcatkitty [Height: 5'4" | CW: ~150 | BMI: 150 | Weight Lost: ??? | Gender:F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 21:27:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95sxpk/prozac_and_weight/
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New prescription. Will it make me loss or gain weight?
Lack Of Motivation
/u/SuicideCupcakes
Created: Wed Aug 8 20:52:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95sp2z/lack_of_motivation/
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So I recently started restricting to 750 calories, and I'm not getting to hungry or anything its just that I'm getting cravings and I can't seem to stop myself from going over. What are some tricks or tips to stop myself from eating?
Bra size : how much did it change? Do you/did you have loose skin? What did you do about it?
/u/EDtwED
Created: Wed Aug 8 20:47:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95snvy/bra_size_how_much_did_it_change_do_youdid_you/
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Sorry if this isn't allowed but I'm worried about loose skin, at 12 heavily heavily restricted (800 cals a day plus working out) I don't plan on doing that now but I had no loose skin. Now I'm 20 and I'm 20/30 pounds MORE than I was before I lost weight at 12 (I hope that makes sense).
I'm worried about lose skin but also curious about bra sizes. How much did yours change? I'm currently a 38DDD when I was a 36D a few years ago (gained 20 pounds since then)
Any inputs?
[Help] How do you guys exercise? Like whatās your routine exactly?
/u/chantendo64
Created: Wed Aug 8 20:44:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95smxu/how_do_you_guys_exercise_like_whats_your_routine/
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This might be a stupid question. But Iām basically wondering like does anyone stretch before hand? Do you do workout videos or just random exercises? If workout videos, do you have any favorites? I personally really like the ballet beautiful ones!
[Other] This is what skinny girls do
/u/WaitingForHealing [5'5.5" | 271 | 218 | 115 | 24F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 20:28:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95sjek/this_is_what_skinny_girls_do/
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I am chewing and spitting pizza hut (I got hand tossed and am so mad at myself for trying something other than original).
I was just spitting into the small box that had my side in it... and when I thought about swallowing I thought, āThis is what skinny girls do.ā
And I was like... thatās fucked up.
I will be starting accutane and I'm freaking out since I have to take it with high fat meals
/u/Failuresandtrials
Created: Wed Aug 8 20:26:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95site/i_will_be_starting_accutane_and_im_freaking_out/
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I lurk this sub everyday, it's the only place I can find people who I relate with. My dermatologist finally prescribed me accutane since my acne is super stubborn and won't fuck off. I'm excited but also super concerned. I've been doing such a good job restricting for the past few months; however my derm informed that in order for accutane to perform at its best, it's required to take it with a high fat meal. I also have to take it twice a day after two meals. Little does she know, my meals consist of liquid diets and/or a piece of chicken and some crackers. Anyone else on or have taken accutane that can relate? I'm probably going to just make avacado shakes and take them after that.
Body image paradox!
/u/InconsolableAlien
Created: Wed Aug 8 20:12:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95sfep/body_image_paradox/
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I think I look like shit. And I mean absolute shit. Fat, childish, lopsided, disproportionate, fucking everything. But at the same time Iām also terrified that I think too highly of my looks; that I think Iām prettier than I actually am. Like in my mind itās a battle between āI actually look really skinny from this one particular angleā and āWelp, everyone else only sees you as a fatass. Try again bitch.ā
I hate everything about my appearance, but still fear that I see myself as more attractive than I am. Can anyone relate or am I losing it?
[Help] Seroquel...Iām scared :(
/u/fweakybby [5ā5ā | 132| 22.0 | 68lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 19:55:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95sb0p/seroquelim_scared/
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My bipolar is really bad. Itās unmanageable. I have to take a stronger med. Iāve felt safe w lamictal bc it doesnāt cause weight gain. We all kno thatās not true for seroquel. I am horrified. Truly.
Iām already restricting around 800 cal/day but I think I need to restrict more now. Iām scared it will make me fat. I donāt even want to take it.
Iāve eaten 200 calories today and Iām mad at myself. How the fuck am I supposed to take a literal fat giving medicine.. anyone else been on this med? What did/do you do? Iām so anxious fuck
[Tip] Zero Calorie Margarita Mix! Mixed with some tequila and lime juice it honestly tastes like the real thing.
/u/nielapup
Created: Wed Aug 8 19:48:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95s9cj/zero_calorie_margarita_mix_mixed_with_some/
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https://i.redd.it/0u8r4lat3ze11.jpg
Someone please tell me aspartame is fine
/u/Yourtiming
Created: Wed Aug 8 19:44:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95s89d/someone_please_tell_me_aspartame_is_fine/
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So I use tons and tons of aspartame. I use 4 packets of equal whenever I have coffee. I know black coffee is lower cals and better for u but I just love having sweet coffee. I drink at least 2 cups of coffee a day so that means Iām consuming at least 8 packets of aspartame a day. Is this fine? Iām worried having too much will cause a stall in my weight loss. Anyone lose weight consuming packets of aspartame everyday?
[Rant/Rave] Body Dysmorphia is KILLING me
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Wed Aug 8 19:26:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95s3qp/body_dysmorphia_is_killing_me/
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Some days I donāt feel fat. Iām not completely angry at what I see in the mirror. Then today- I put on this t shirt and I absolutely HATE myself. I look so *freaking* fat. I hate myself. I want to stab what I see in the mirror. My arm already has tons of bruises all over it from me punching it. I am resisting cutting myself too now. I just want to look like a skeleton. And I SHOULD be there by now bc Iāve eaten 100 cals most days for the past month. I want to die. Please someone kill me and my thoughts.
*I hate my fat ugly body.*
[Help] i am TERRIFIED to weigh in tomorrow.
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Wed Aug 8 19:12:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95s077/i_am_terrified_to_weigh_in_tomorrow/
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i was at 125 about a week ago. i ate about 1,000-1,500 calories for friday, saturday, and sunday and i ended up 8lbs heavier on the scale. now i have to see what weight stuck and what weight left and i know iām gonna weigh more than 125. if iām at 127 iāll be ok, but if itās any higher than that i will probably have a small mental breakdown. i feel like i look so fat and i can just tell the weight is gonna be higher than i want...
please wish me luck. i just want to die...
What is with people and Diet Coke???
/u/DamnPolygalaceae [5ā5 | CW: 93lbs | BMI: 15.8 F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 18:47:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95rttj/what_is_with_people_and_diet_coke/
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Iāve had multiple comments said when reaching for a diet or no sugar coke, example, āI need that more than you doā or just questioning me about why I would grab a Diet Coke instead of normal. It just baffles me because since when did too much sugar stop giving you diabetes? Since when is sugar good for you?? Just because someone is āthinā doesnāt mean the bad things are good for you???????? Ugh people frustrate me
Do so-called adherents of "body positivity!!!!111" really have a hatred and phobia of skinny girls or is it just me?
/u/depressedohiogirl
Created: Wed Aug 8 18:46:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95rtbn/do_socalled_adherents_of_body_positivity111/
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Today, this girl I know whose entire social media is full of how great body positivity is shamed me for having a thigh gap and being "too skinny". She said that my weight was very unhealthy and that I should "stop being a delusional bitch" and get used to reality: skinny is unhealthy and not attractive.
Yes, this happened. I was having a discussion with a group of friends in which she was sitting and we were casually talking about dieting/fasting when she spit this shit out. I was literally burning internally and wanted to just expose her hypocrisy.
This isn't the first time something like this happened to me. Often, these "body positive" women (who are almost always obese) pass out indirect-aggressive comments for literally no reason. I am just tired of this.
Is this just me? Am I the only one who is a victim of these girls? :( Sorry I just needed to vent.
My husband entered a partial day program for EDNOS...
/u/throwaway082890 [5'7 | 119 | 18.6 | -11lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 18:37:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95rqy4/my_husband_entered_a_partial_day_program_for_ednos/
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My husband entered a partial day program last week. It's so irrational, but I can't help feeling resentful that he is going into treatment.
I've been hospitalized previously for anorexia, as a teenager. My weight dipped as low as 104 while we were together, and on top of that I have a low (purely based on #, not how I feel) bodyfat, since I also exercise extremely frequently. I was chronically underweight while with him for years. I know it's not his responsibility to tell me to seek treatment. Yet, he never encouraged me to see a therapist or bother to sign us up for health insurance (I get extremely limited health coverage through my masters program and am self-employed, we can absolutely afford the marketplace).
As soon as flirted with restricting, he checked himself into treatment (out of pocket). He exercises compulsively (2 hours a day, most days), but has never been underweight or overweight. He doesn't throw up. He just doesn't love his body and eats a lot of junk food. I think he does have some disordered eating habits and body dysmorphia, but I didn't get my period for four years of us dating.
Writing that down makes me feel like an asshole, but those are my horrible thoughts. It's fucked up that I feel so competitive about this. I hate what kind of person my eating disorder makes me.
Every summer for the past few years I have gained 5-10 lbs. I've realized I start to binge in April/May because I do not feel as beautiful as all the girls with "perfect bodies" running around in swimwear. I've just robbed myself of another summer. Ugh.
/u/PancakePrincess59
Created: Wed Aug 8 18:30:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95rp5z/every_summer_for_the_past_few_years_i_have_gained/
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This summer has been the worst... I have gained 10 lbs in a short amount of time. I've realized my brain seems to think because there are other beautiful girls out there that means I am not beautiful. Therefore it also implies I should cover up more and I'll never look as good in a bikini as they do. Then I start the cycle of binging to make myself feel better about the way I look. Or, I keep telling myself "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" and I try to not eat. What's worse is I will start drinking heavily as a coping mechanism. But of course, all the weight comes off in the fall and then packs on again the next year.
Moral of the story: just because there are other beauties out there doesn't mean you're any less attractive! Just wish it hadn't taken me years to figure this out. -\_- On to healthy weight loss!
[Rant/Rave] Realizing I have an addictive personality
/u/PlanetArkanis [5'8 | 187 | 28.4 | -63 lbs | F23]
Created: Wed Aug 8 18:09:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95rj7q/realizing_i_have_an_addictive_personality/
---
Between my nicotine addiction, caffeine addiction, and propensity to swing wildly between heavy restriction and binging, I feel like maybe I should have figured this out sooner.
Iām starting to develop alcohol problems just like so many other members of my family. And itās just feeding into the vicious cycle of anxiety-restriction-binging-depression ad infinitum.
But, just like with my disordered eating, itās one thing to be aware of the problem, but itās another thing entirely to actually confront and deal with the problem.
This probably isnāt the right sub for this post, but this community is the only place I feel okay airing this out. āļø
I feel so terrible today
/u/PrettyPrettyTrini [5'6.5 | CW 175 | GW 135 | BMI 27.4 | WL 0 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 17:41:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95rbp2/i_feel_so_terrible_today/
---
Today I tried to push myself after months of binging to fast until after 4. Wow my body isnāt the same anymore. Iāve been feeling so sick all day, I donāt even know how to help it at this point
[Discussion] I'm starting to notice I spend most of my time on my ED
/u/jackolantern_hat [5'9.5" | CW:149 | BMI: 21.22 | 21F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 17:29:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95r8kw/im_starting_to_notice_i_spend_most_of_my_time_on/
---
Maybe because it's the last few weeks of summer break and I have nothing else truly eventful planned, but I spend almost too much time thinking about food, planning meals I never intend to eat, on tumblr/here interacting with ED related content, and telling myself to exercise more.
I mean I do have other things to do, but I'll wake up and somehow half or more of the day is gone before my brain registers that I've made no progress on anything for the day. I know what I need to do but its like my brain goes into autopilot. (Today I spent about 8 hours between here, tumblr, and youtube)
Anyone else feel this way? Tips at all? I probably should break out the good ol' white board and make daily lists again lol
Anybody else get really happy when theyāre hungry?
/u/Gloomy_Shroomy
Created: Wed Aug 8 17:26:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95r7qw/anybody_else_get_really_happy_when_theyre_hungry/
---
I fast daily for 16 hours or more and when the hunger hits I feel so satisfied with myself. š Anyone else?
[Help] Bloody fucking hell it's happening again.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 88.6lbs| 14.2 | Male]
Created: Wed Aug 8 17:24:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95r745/bloody_fucking_hell_its_happening_again/
---
My psychiatrist wants me to go to the emergency department for more ECGs to determine whether he needs to bring me into hospital. My heart rate was 34 on my ECG yesterday. Fuckfuckfuck I can't go back into hospital. The inpatient mental health unit is awful; dark, dirty, in the basement of the old hospital building, no programming or activities, a mixed bag of mental illnesses, over-stressed staff, and I legit feel unsafe there. Thankfully I managed to get him to hold off until tomorrow morning, so... is there anything I can do in the meantime to improve things? I'm going to eat (like, follow my meal plan legit), and rest, and sit in incredible discomfort, but any other tips? Like what could I do before the ECGs to raise my heart rate? I'm freaking the fuck out.
DAE āonline food shopā when they are hungry?
/u/oxygens_overrated [5'4|CW:126|LW:113|GW1:125 |18F|]
Created: Wed Aug 8 17:23:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95r6mu/dae_online_food_shop_when_they_are_hungry/
---
When Iām really hungry and wanting to binge Iāll open up a food delivery service app and pick a restaurant Iām craving and just add everything that looks good to my cart. Then Iāll open my cart and just stare at the list of food for awhile, delete all the food, and then start again for another restaurant. Iāll do this for all the different foods Iām craving until I canāt think of anymore food I want. I think looking at the price of what each binge would cost + seeing all the foods I would eat listed out really helps stop my binges. Does anyone else do this?? Do you find it helpful or does it just make your cravings worse?
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else love the way their hands look when they restrict?
/u/lunartalk [5'4 | HW:165 | CW:118 |F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 17:21:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95r666/anyone_else_love_the_way_their_hands_look_when/
---
It might just be dysmorphia, but mine always look bonier when I restrict
[Tip] Sushi date tonight Iām freaking out
/u/Generic_puff
Created: Wed Aug 8 17:19:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95r5i5/sushi_date_tonight_im_freaking_out/
---
Boyfriend insists on going tonight I already made up my mind Iām purging after dinner no matter what. Whatās been easy to throw up for you? (Obviously selecting from a sushi restaurant menu)
Just found the best tea ever
/u/starvy_punk
Created: Wed Aug 8 17:10:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95r37j/just_found_the_best_tea_ever/
---
Omg went to show some sketches to my co-conspirator for a project we're working on and she got me some passion tea from Tazo. So fucking good and zero calories. I was honestly so fucking confused cause it tastes way too damn good.
[Rant/Rave] Guess I can only be skinny if Iām unhappy?
/u/whatttevernevermind
Created: Wed Aug 8 16:54:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95qyni/guess_i_can_only_be_skinny_if_im_unhappy/
---
Iāve put back on all of the weight I lost last year and then some, because Iāve genuinely been really fucking happy. Iāve probably never been happier in my life
But now all this weight has caught up to me and itās stressing me out and I just want it gone and I feel myself slipping and I donāt want to go backwards? I know if I start losing again Iāll just obsess over it and Iāll be miserable
I just want to enjoy my life without hating my body
Are all dieticians idiots?
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 78.1kg | 28.7 | F | bulimic]
Created: Wed Aug 8 16:37:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95qtrh/are_all_dieticians_idiots/
---
I had to listen to a dietician talk about how 'we know diets don't work' and how intermittent fasting is so bad for you, and Health At Every Size is about to become mainstream, and the focus should be on healthy behaviours and not on weight, and blah blah blah... Meanwhile I'm supposed to be incorporating 'fear foods' (aka binge foods) into my diet *on purpose* and eating them in moderation, but not restricting? I couldn't get a clear answer from her on what counts as restricting (bad) versus what counts as moderation (good). Oh, and apparently there's no such thing as an unhealthy food. People without eating disorders are allowed to skip meals, but we're not, apparently.
Sorry for the rant, I found this dietician so fucking smug and misinformed, like HAES in its current incarnation is nonsense, you can't tell me that a full-sugar Coke is healthier than a salad. I got so many mixed messages from this woman, I'm not even sure what she wants me to do, other than just eat all the fucking time.
[Discussion] Whatās the first new piece of clothing youāre getting once you reach your goal weight?
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Wed Aug 8 16:32:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95qsjc/whats_the_first_new_piece_of_clothing_youre/
---
I feel like for me it would be those cute cropped tank tops with the buttons that go up your cleavage. I canāt pull them off for shit at the weight that I am now, but Iām working on getting there š
What about the rest of you all? What would be yours?
[Rant/Rave] DAE stress binge?
/u/Gingervais
Created: Wed Aug 8 16:21:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95qpae/dae_stress_binge/
---
When I have a deadline approaching for work or Uni, I canāt help myself. I go on a rampage and I donāt know why! Youād think that the busyness of it all would prevent me eating loads but itās the opposite ffs
So tired of this rollercoaster
/u/stardusttrek [5'7 | 158 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 16:10:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95qm8a/so_tired_of_this_rollercoaster/
---
I don't know what disorder I even have anymore. I had a few days of eating like a normal person. Not overdoing it. Nothing crazy. Just normal eating. Told myself that I was just going to relax and stay off the scale and try to be ok with my size.
Stepped on the scale and saw that I gained 5 lbs ...please explain to me how eating 1,400 calories a day is making it so I've gained 5lbs in two days. Now it's 3pm and all I've had is diet coke.
I'm so sick of this shit. I just want to be normal.
No one cares unless youāre underweight.
/u/depressedlilfuck
Created: Wed Aug 8 16:07:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ql7n/no_one_cares_unless_youre_underweight/
---
Just venting
/u/PlasticDoor
Created: Wed Aug 8 15:53:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95qgzt/just_venting/
---
I haven't purged in about 6 months... so that's a good thing toward recovery, right?
Wrong. I still binge to cope with stress and just keep packing on weight. Now I'm literally 30 lbs over goal weight and feel worse than I did when barfing every day.
[Help] Please please please please help me learn not to binge
/u/philoqueen [5'7 | CW: 112 | BMI: 17.5 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 15:51:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95qggs/please_please_please_please_help_me_learn_not_to/
---
I am in SUCH a rut yāall. I canāt eat intuitively. I canāt just eat anything. I cant eat a meal and not want more food after. Please help me not binge.
What should I do? How can I stop? Are there any methods at all? Iām in so much pain, Iām scared to weigh myself, I literally canāt stop myself. I feel so helpless. Iāve tried every trick, I just canāt stop it.
I used to be such a good restricter, idk what happened.
[Other] When MFP starts grasping at straws...! (3 cal dessert...)
/u/BunnyAwesome [5'7"| F | CW 130 | GW 110]
Created: Wed Aug 8 15:50:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95qfxb/when_mfp_starts_grasping_at_straws_3_cal_dessert/
---
https://i.redd.it/4vhv20naxxe11.jpg
[Help] I'm going to binge tonight, change my mind
/u/thinraindrop
Created: Wed Aug 8 15:45:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95qejs/im_going_to_binge_tonight_change_my_mind/
---
Currently at work, will be home in about 4 hours.
I am 3 kg away from my goal weight, but I'm feeling terrible and I'm sleeping at my moms house tonight. She bought me tons of junkfood I can eat(vegan). And I can't stop thinking about all of it.
Please convince me not to binge lol I love you
What's the most weight you've lost in a month?
/u/fearnloathing98
Created: Wed Aug 8 15:40:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95qctq/whats_the_most_weight_youve_lost_in_a_month/
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Totally fucked up any semblance of a summer body.. need motivation ASAP to try and lost the weight now so I don't return to school looking like a fat slug :\]
[Rant/Rave] Holy shit. My āirrationalā dental fear happened.
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 135.9 | 19.5 | 85 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 15:35:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95qbgz/holy_shit_my_irrational_dental_fear_happened/
---
So Iāve been b/pāing since I was 15 ( and in 19 now), and even more so the past couple months. Iāll be honest..... some days itās like 3+ times a day.
I went in to the dentist today expecting to have cavities because I fucking love sugar. I was hoping and praying though they wouldnāt ask if I was bulimic. Anxiety the whole time.
While heās poking around my teeth with the assistant dental dude Iāve been joking around with next to him, he says
āSooo. Uh, do you have acid reflex or perhaps... throw up often? Your teeth are eroding and thatās why youāre in painā
Fuckingggggggg instant panic attack
āOh yeah.... uh I get sick a lot,Iāve had surgery a couple times this year.ā
Then he brought it up again and was like ā So about that eroding itās either yeah acid reflex, throwing up, or maybe drinking carbonated drinks-
āOH yeah I drink a lot of energy drinks could that be it?ā
*proceeds to try and convince dental doctor my erosion is from energy drinks and not fucking 5 years of bulimia*
The vibe in the room was really tense and weird after he first said it. Super uncomfortable. Now I gotta get fillings to cover up the erosion woo
[Help] DAE feel pain on your hips when lying on your side
/u/spaceindividual
Created: Wed Aug 8 15:14:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95q54i/dae_feel_pain_on_your_hips_when_lying_on_your_side/
---
The title, I want to know if Iām the only one
[Discussion] What is your favorite slow-to-eat snack?
/u/FeatherMahogany59
Created: Wed Aug 8 14:51:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95pxk5/what_is_your_favorite_slowtoeat_snack/
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Iām curious what others like to eat really slowly and savor. Personally, may favorite indulgence is pomegranate. I hate that itās out of season right now. I like to count out a number of arils and eat them individually. Or put a few in a large glass of seltzer and ice, and only eat them once Iāve finished the drink (often I have trouble drinking enough water).
Whatās your favorite snack (or meal) that takes a long time to eat?
Annnnnd today I rediscovered how fucking gross I actually am
/u/jesusisahoe
Created: Wed Aug 8 14:42:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95purm/annnnnd_today_i_rediscovered_how_fucking_gross_i/
---
https://i.redd.it/kphxvi27lxe11.jpg
Made a 0 cal slushee and it was awesome
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Wed Aug 8 14:41:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95puga/made_a_0_cal_slushee_and_it_was_awesome/
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Was drinking a violet monster 0 cal and I was like what if I blended this up with some ice to fill me up? Itās delicious!!! Just like a slurpee or slushee and calorie free. Trying really hard to stay at 500 for the day
Grazing
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Wed Aug 8 14:36:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95psxf/grazing/
---
A little taste here, a little bite there. How many fricken cals is that?
I think I've probably had an extra 300 today unknowingly from cooking dinner this evening.
At least I didn't actually have dinner
[Rant/Rave] Not āsick enoughā to get help
/u/bboombbboom
Created: Wed Aug 8 14:35:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95psjo/not_sick_enough_to_get_help/
---
So I did an intake interview and it turns out Iām not āeligible/qualifyā for a local ED program.
To celebrate my failure, I binged and purged 2 pizzas and a 2 litter diet soda.
Yay. Me.
Okay Iāve left the self harm community and joined the dark side because everyone was too fucking rude over there
/u/depressedlilfuck
Created: Wed Aug 8 14:27:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95pptu/okay_ive_left_the_self_harm_community_and_joined/
---
[Discussion] Any other middle children out there?
/u/Butterfly_Rose
Created: Wed Aug 8 13:59:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ph0w/any_other_middle_children_out_there/
---
I think my problems of low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy come down to being a middle child. Ive been reading about "middle child syndrome" for the past hour(whether it's true or not is another thing). DAE who is a middle child and feel this way?
[Other] Iām showing signs of malnutrition and perversely enjoying it.
/u/chezpajama
Created: Wed Aug 8 13:27:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95p6ef/im_showing_signs_of_malnutrition_and_perversely/
---
Itās proof of progress. Even more than my weight loss.
The fact that Iām still managing to restrict, even though I feel like shit and I bruise like old fruit tells me Iām not weak and I can get back to my pre-recovery weight. Maybe even less.
[Discussion] is it bad that i was happy when i saw that my friend gained a fuckload of weight?
/u/throwaway-14-7-18
Created: Wed Aug 8 13:23:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95p560/is_it_bad_that_i_was_happy_when_i_saw_that_my/
---
my "friend" (shes an asshole dunno why i even consider her as one tbh) has been trying to lose weight for maybe half a year and so far it seems like she gained at least 10 lbs since i last saw her without losing any weight at all. i was so scared that when i saw her again she would be way skinnier than me and all my progress would be overshadowed by her amazing, healthier way of losing weight but the relief was amazing, is that normal? sorry, i'm new to this community
[Rant/Rave] Rant
/u/jayjayie
Created: Wed Aug 8 13:21:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95p4lr/rant/
---
Sooo these last months i've been 'recovering' but i have actually just been bingieng nonstop lol. Today is the first time i actually fully realized How fat Ive gotten again. I want to cut of my fat fucling thighs, i hate that i have love handles again. I want my fucking bones back!!!
Even though I have an 'healthy' bmi i look overweight??? Great. Day 1 is starting tomorrow. I lost the weight before i can do it again, i just have to beat this godamnn binge habit :/ everytime i try to recover i just binge for a massive amount of time. Anytime i feel like i look Ok i binge again. Anyone else like this? I'm always one of the extremes and Its frustrating af
[Rant/Rave] My sister bought me lunch and now I'm on the verge of a panic attack
/u/FallenLeafOnTheWind [5'8 | CW 179 | BMI a lot | HW 212 | 23F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 13:05:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95oz81/my_sister_bought_me_lunch_and_now_im_on_the_verge/
---
My sister surprised me with lunch since I worked through my break again today, and it's been sitting on my desk taunting me for an hour. I really want to eat it because a) I appreciate her doing that for me and b) I've got that lightheaded feeling that tells me I *need* to eat something soon, but I physically can't make myself do it. I gag every time the spoon touches my tongue.
She's going to have to come back to my office soon to drop off some documents (we work for the same company), and I know she's going to see that I still haven't touched it and probably get suspicious, because she's been really "checking in" on me a lot lately in regards to food. She can't know about this, none of my family can because there's way more difficult and important things going on right now and I refuse to add to that. They'd just be really hurt that I didn't tell them sooner and worry about me when they need to be focusing on the rest of what's going on.
My anxiety level is through the roof right now over this effing soup and salad and my apparent inability to perform a basic function. I keep doing deep breathing but it just makes me even more lightheaded so I can't do it for long.
Writing it down helps take my mind off of it, but I have no idea what to do. I could stash it in the work fridge, but she'd still see it. She won't believe me if I just say I'm not hungry; she lives with me so she knows I didn't eat breakfast. I'm at a loss.
ugh
/u/incognitomiscreant [5'6 | CW: 129 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 13:02:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95oydq/ugh/
---
how come when i'm going through a binge phase i don't really eat anything interesting or fun but as soon as i try to get a handle on it i get all these fancy cravings??? i've been overeating on fucking beans lately but now that i want to stop, i want sushi-but-not-just-any-sushi-the-sushi-from-the-sushi-buffet. and vegan pizza!!!! it's not faaaaaaair i'm going to go eat lettuce with goop on it thanks for listening
We're doomed, fam: "people with orthostatic hypotension had a 54 percent higher risk of dementia and more than double the risk of stroke."
/u/BorowitzReport
Created: Wed Aug 8 12:35:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95opfd/were_doomed_fam_people_with_orthostatic/
---
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/08/well/dizziness-on-standing-may-be-a-risk-factor-for-dementia.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fhealth&action=click&contentCollection=health®ion=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=5&pgtype=sectionfront
My mother just told me she's.. "incredibly proud of me".
/u/BIueJayWay [5"3| CW:107 |GW: 102 |BMI:18.9 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 12:31:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95oocx/my_mother_just_told_me_shes_incredibly_proud_of_me/
---
Woah I don't even know how to feel. I mean, great, hell *I'm* proud of myself for losing weight but... I don't know. I mean eating under 1000 kcal is unhealthy, surely she must know that? She's giving me more of a motive to keep doing this, which is cool I guess. I'm glad my mom of all people isn't dissapointed in me.
[Other] Careful out there lads
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 45 kg | 18F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 12:26:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95omc1/careful_out_there_lads/
---
https://i.redd.it/j3btkjswwwe11.jpg
[Other] Anyone wanna follow my sad little insta I made to document my meals
/u/alonlioak
Created: Wed Aug 8 12:20:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ok8h/anyone_wanna_follow_my_sad_little_insta_i_made_to/
---
I made one the other day because I literally could not stop fucking binging and taking photos of what Iām eating feels like..some kind of control? Even though I havenāt managed to take pics of everything.
Or, if you have something similar Iād be interested in following you there? Just putting it out there. Message me for the username :)
[Rant/Rave] I just ordered and canceled from 3 different restaurants in the past hour
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Wed Aug 8 12:18:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ojkh/i_just_ordered_and_canceled_from_3_different/
---
Binging lately and i just need to talk myself out of it.
Ive come so far. i cant mess it up
Relapsed into B/P
/u/MSplinterED
Created: Wed Aug 8 12:17:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ojf3/relapsed_into_bp/
---
2 weeks into B/P again and I've lost 5/10 lbs. (It's hard to tell with my serious period bloat going on).
The rewards are too good to stop doing this.
I need new friends
/u/eloana12
Created: Wed Aug 8 12:15:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95oinc/i_need_new_friends/
---
haha, FUCK I really do. They're as flakey as fucking cadbury flakes, or my grandpas crusty dandruff. At least he sticks to his word.
I fasted for 22 hours the day before in anticipation of them coming over for taco tuesday. All 3 of them couldn't make it. One decided to drop off the face of the earth, the other was coming down with a cold and the last called me saying her mum had invited her to dinner that night, 3 fucking hours before it was meant to happen. I'd planned it 2 weeks ago.
When the last finally cancelled, my first thought was "WOW maybe if you could actually lose weight this wouldn't've happened." I know there's no logic there. Couldn't even fast the rest of the day bc my dad came home and he was meant to eat the leftover tacos.
Right now I'm just a messy mixture of mad and sad. Couldn't identify the emotion at first, so I pushed it down(one of my talents). Then it hit me it was both://// Looks like its just me and that voice that's telling me I'm a fat fucking failure again:) Swear to god its the only thing that's fucking constant, how depressing.
[Goal] Finally got underweight!
/u/Uh-oh_no_berries
Created: Wed Aug 8 12:12:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ohw9/finally_got_underweight/
---
I was at the doctors office today and I got my weight and height. 55.15kg and 173cm respectively. I put those into a bmi calc and I got 18.4 which puts me just underweight which is great.
Finally some motivation to continue.
Binge Eating Diagnosis
/u/alicepalaceforever
Created: Wed Aug 8 11:59:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95odic/binge_eating_diagnosis/
---
Has anyone ever been able to be successfully diagnosed with BED? Itās getting to the point that itās affecting my work day. The minute something goes wrong or Iām stressed at work I make about ten trips to the vending machine and house it all down. Or go to subway or McDonaldās for a second lunch when I ate an hour ago. I want to stop doing this; it makes my body and self esteem feel so terrible.
Iām open to seeing a doctor but worried they wonāt take me seriously. Iām a healthy weight (sometimes I sleep most of the weekend or barely eat) although gaining now due to an injury thatās preventing the weight loss (and honestly contributing to my anxiety, which contributes to how often I binge). I donāt have insurance so I donāt want to waste my money. I feel like I need a prescription to help control the compulsive nature of this disorder.
How to not lose interest in everything else while having a ED?
/u/Cactuseye [5'1.5| CW 156/7 | SW 162 | GW1 125 | 20f]
Created: Wed Aug 8 11:56:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ocmz/how_to_not_lose_interest_in_everything_else_while/
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This might be stupid to ask, but normally I'm a pretty hyperfocused person and when I restrict it gets even worse in regards to my intake. This time around I'm really trying hard to not spend hours obsessively calculating everything ED wise but I still catch myself thinking about it even while doing something else. Last time I completely lost interest in everything I use to do, And I really don't want that again? I like sewing, crocheting, I have a little puppy to take care of. I dunno if the answer is just to force myself to do things and ignore the obsessive side of me or what do you do?
[Rant/Rave] My customer is buying me lunch
/u/jesusisahoe
Created: Wed Aug 8 11:55:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95oc6j/my_customer_is_buying_me_lunch/
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So I have a fellow vegan customer who comes to work and I spoke to him about a brand new vegan Coney Island that opened up near us. He was so excited I told him.....that he told me (not offered, told me) he was bringing me back some. There was no way I could say no. Heās gonna bring me a fattening, vegan Coney Island style meal but the scariest part is there I absolutely no way to count the calories. AND I donāt know if his offer was actually genuine and serious so I donāt know whether I should eat now or save the calories! Ugh.
[Help] am i purging all my food?
/u/acrsita
Created: Wed Aug 8 11:27:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95o2tl/am_i_purging_all_my_food/
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so, if you canāt be arsed to read this whole thing, iām basically asking, does all food come up in the same volume it came down? specifically, does pasta?
iāve been purging for a long time now. i rarely purge until itās pure acid or clear water, i just trust my intuition and stop when i feel clean or when i see something i ate a while ago come up, like from an earlier meal.
iām currently having to eat a lot of carbs, and iām not sure how much of it iām really getting up. the only binge food around me is biscuits and cakes, pasta, very starchy food. in your experience, does that come up in the same volume? i find that when iām purging bread (not fun at ALL) itās often in clumps, and when iām purging something crumbly it kind of becomes more sloppy but still together. i tend to purge heavy things the best.
does starchy food stay the same volume in your stomach? god, iām just scared. i really binged, on all the wrong foods. i donāt think much i got rid of much of it.
[Help] Help estimating calories?
/u/damnitjanet6 [5"5'| hellbeast | BMI 27.6 | -31lbs | 20f]
Created: Wed Aug 8 11:05:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95nvrk/help_estimating_calories/
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Can anyone give me a hand estimating the calories for a shop's "small" serving size of spicy tofu in chilli broth with a little bit of onion and no rice or noodles? There's a bit of oil on the top but I'm not sure how much is actually inside the food as well. Bought it in a moment of normality and ate it all but am now freaking out just a little bit lol
[Other] a nutritious lunch. š
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Wed Aug 8 11:05:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95nvjf/a_nutritious_lunch/
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https://i.redd.it/k43ppc2iiwe11.jpg
[Discussion] Too much diet soda?
/u/RedPlaidPanda
Created: Wed Aug 8 11:04:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95nv8q/too_much_diet_soda/
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Is there such a thing? I was just wondering if itās possible for diet soda to negatively impact weight loss if over consumed? I know that all the caffeine isnāt great for you but other than that?
Because I drink the cans mostly and I have like 6 or 7 a day. Hopefully thatās not too much šµ
[Help] No responses from r/depression, maybe you guys could help me out?
/u/SpaceWhale88 [5'3 | CW land whale | HW 197 | LW 122 | 30F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 10:54:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ns3a/no_responses_from_rdepression_maybe_you_guys/
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Stalk my post history for more info but basically I'm wondering if I'm still clinically depressed or just suffering from normal ED low self esteem. I honestly have had minimal appetite lately since I drastically cut down on binging and purging.
[Rant/Rave] I feel suicidal but im going to try and do things right.
/u/madeoneover
Created: Wed Aug 8 10:50:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95nqj2/i_feel_suicidal_but_im_going_to_try_and_do_things/
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I don't want to live like this any more, I can't think about food without feeling sick, and I can't starve myself because I need to do things. I genuinely feel like I might be losing my mind, I keep stealing food from my flatmate and spending money I don't have from my overdraft to replace it, and then stealing it again and purging it anyway and it's insane.
I'm going to try and work out what to eat for the next week, and stick to it without bingeing. I'm going to throw out all my food and start from scratch so there's nothing in the house I can eat otherwise.
I don't think it will work, tbh but I have to try, my life at the moment isn't worth living, but I can't do anything about that because i have a friend who would be sad so I have to try something new. I have to make ONE plan, and not change my fucking mind all the time, or I'm going to end up killing myself. I've wasted so much of my life already, I cant take any more grief over how empty it's all been I have to change.
Buy ED pills online w/p. Trusted online pharmacy
/u/Professional_Turn
Created: Wed Aug 8 10:43:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95noc9/buy_ed_pills_online_wp_trusted_online_pharmacy/
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http://fastgenericmeds.com/?lang=en&cur=USD&a=78609
My order of Japanese snacks arrived today
/u/I_Am_Mister_ED [5'6" | CW 250 | BMI 40.5 | 27 Trans Man | -0lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 8 10:35:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95nly8/my_order_of_japanese_snacks_arrived_today/
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I ordered a box of goodies a few weeks ago, before I started restricting, and they came in the mail today. I was worried that I'd open them up to sample and see how everything tastes, and just end up binging all of it or discovering everything was super high calories, but!
The soda I ordered turned out to be diet, the cookies are only 50 calories apiece (and DELICIOUS. Hokkaido vanilla ice cream flavor, oh my god so good), and the custard/jam cakes are 110, and a little too custardy for my taste, so I'm unlikely to binge on them! The cookies and cakes are both individually wrapped, too, making a binge even less likely.
I'm so happy right now, guys. I was seriously anxious about this box arriving and now it couldn't have turned out better.
[Help] For those of you who eat keto, how many carbs a day do you eat?
/u/Andersoncooperspenis [5'6 | CW:š | GW:115 |-29| F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 10:12:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95neg4/for_those_of_you_who_eat_keto_how_many_carbs_a/
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Hola! Iāve been thinking about doing keto due to just general bad stomach reactions to carbs and my mental obsession with carbs after I eat them. Iāve done a bit of research but always get so overwhelmed and my brain kind of shuts down :(
Iāve read other threads from proED about people who do keto but I was just wondering how many carbs a day/calories you guys eat?
Thanks a bunch in advance!
[Rant/Rave] Managing expectations makes this so much easier
/u/sadbirdie12
Created: Wed Aug 8 10:11:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95neak/managing_expectations_makes_this_so_much_easier/
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After getting stuck on a binge/restrict cycle going +\- 5 lbs for 2 months Iāve finally found a plan I can commit to.
I canāt do fasts longer than 24 hours, sometimes I need to eat food I want to eat. Now Iāve set more realistic goals. I can stick to under 300 calories a day with my what Iāve found to be good safe foods, sometimes even 200!
Itās also helped controlled my binges... instead of saying fuck it and eating maintenance calories, I know my options to get a quick fix and stay under 500 calories for the whole day.
Iām not going to lose weight as fast as I want, but now I know I can actually get there.
[Help] Am I relapsing? Or is this recovery?
/u/lxelan4862 [ā½5'3 | CW 104 lbs | BMI 18.4 | GW 98 | Femaleā½]
Created: Wed Aug 8 10:05:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95nc67/am_i_relapsing_or_is_this_recovery/
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So I've been trying to get in control of the situation, but every time I eat normally I bloat a lot and feel extremely full. Because of that I'm more reluctant on eating with others, and try to stick to foods that I'm comfortable with (you can call them safe foods). I don't drink milk or eat any dairy products, and if I have a sweet craving which has been happening often as of late I absolutely have to know what I'm going to eat in advance. On the other hand during my deep ed phases I would only eat ~400 calories a day; I eat around 1000 now because even though its below my maitenance I don't feel like I overate - not to mention I started exercising more. Can you call this recovery? Or is this just a less "extreme" continued form of my eating disorder?
[Help] Need Some Reassurance
/u/alicereyy
Created: Wed Aug 8 09:56:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95n9d1/need_some_reassurance/
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So I'm basically creating this post out of paranoia. Although I have done tons of research and know the hard facts of weight loss, I still get paranoid my routine wont work. My restricting usually looks like this... 400-500 calories a day (sometimes I fast at least one day a week) and then one day a week I have about 1000 calories. I'm 24, I weigh 114 lbs, and based on my fitbit my TDEE is usually 1900 calories and about 2150 when I work out, which I do two to three times a week. I have to give myself 1000 calorie days because my job requires a lot of standing and movement so I will feel like passing out if I'm not careful.
Anyways I'm just hoping to hear from others if you think I'm on a good path to weight loss. I know based on the evidence I am but I cant help but get this nervous feeling I'm not doing enough and reassurance from others would help. Please know that I understand my ED is an illness and I am in no way trying to promote that or push it on anyone else.
Also I don't really have a goal weight but more a goal look. I just really want to be my own thinspo!
[Intro] Slowly Dipping My Feet Into These Still Waters Once More
/u/KissMeSlowlyPlease
Created: Wed Aug 8 09:54:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95n8q5/slowly_dipping_my_feet_into_these_still_waters/
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First post ever on Reddit.
I should be a little disgusted with myself being that I'm 25, I advocate for this shit, and I'm a psych major, but alas I'm not. I live by, "My journey is not your journey and that is okay." I advocate for it, but I don't push my beliefs onto those that are impressionable and those that don't understand the risks and the harm,
Current Weight: ALOT
Small Weight Loss Milestone: 25 pounds
Target Date: September 11th
Intermittent Fasting: 2pm- 8am
I'll post beginning and after pics in the appropriate location :') I'm so excited.
I finally feel as though I'm working towards something attainable.
Wish me luckā¤ļø
I hate public bathrooms.
/u/vydka
Created: Wed Aug 8 09:41:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95n4h1/i_hate_public_bathrooms/
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I have my first wedding dress fitting today and dumbass me ate lunch. Now I feel disgusting and anxious and I just want to get rid of it. Except purging in the bathroom at a supermarket is difficult with all the soccer moms and their army of demon children asking "mommy why is that lady taking so long?"
BECAUSE IM WAITING FOR YOU TO LEAVE SO I CAN PURGE MY GUTS UP. as sane people do obviously.
Ugh. I should have lost so much weight by now. I'm gonna be a fat bride.
[Rant/Rave] I want to end up in the hospital
/u/beautyofdisorder
Created: Wed Aug 8 09:40:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95n42o/i_want_to_end_up_in_the_hospital/
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I just want a break from the world. And for people to care about me.
Iām not underweight so people would be scared of my weight but maybe I can pass out by fasting or take something to make me sick... And at least if Iām in the hospital I wonāt have to worry about food...
[Rant/Rave] Seriously so frustrated/heartbroken/strangely proportioned
/u/dollparts__
Created: Wed Aug 8 09:05:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95msg2/seriously_so_frustratedheartbrokenstrangely/
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Back on that heart break diet. You know when youāre so depressed over a boy you canāt make yourself eat?
Anyways I found an old notebook where I had been recording my body measurements from the end of last year so of course I had to measure myself now to compare. The verdict? My bust, hips and thighs are THE SAME but Iāve lost FOUR FUCKING INCHES from my waist. Like my ribs are showing like crazy and my thighs are still so fucking fat. WHY????
Iām close to being technically āunderweightā (lol) but my thighs are humongous and Iām tired of waiting for fat to start coming off of them. Pants donāt fit me because my waist is tiny but my hips are huge. Iām weak and tired and cold from never eating.
This has been a rant.
[Rant/Rave] I just ordered a Starbucks
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 08:54:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95mp33/i_just_ordered_a_starbucks/
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And they messed it up, noticed, and threw it away and did it again without me having to say ANYTHING. Iām so happy, it makes me feel like I can actually trust that what Iām getting is what I think it is and not a million more calories.
At what point during your weight loss did you notice a change in your face?
/u/throwaway86_443
Created: Wed Aug 8 08:49:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95mngb/at_what_point_during_your_weight_loss_did_you/
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My face is so.freaking.chubby. I hate it so much. Itās like, I frequently see overweight people whose faces are so much more defined than mine, despite being 50+ lbs heavier. What gives?!
Iām thinking though, once I get my BMI down to where itās technically underweight, thereās no way my face can hold onto that fat. Right??
My current BMI is ~21.8, but my goal is 18.2. Surely I should notice a change in my face at that point??
Iām curious to know what others experiences have been with weight loss in their face?
[Other] My thighs right now, I just CANNOT.
/u/madeinny88 [5'8" | 122 | 18.6 | 29/Female]
Created: Wed Aug 8 08:40:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95mkrs/my_thighs_right_now_i_just_cannot/
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My flair is no longer accurate. I am no longer 122 lbs I am more like 126 right now. I've been staying away from this community and trying to just be healthy for my kids' sake. The obsession just got to be too consuming. Also I wanted to grow my boobs a little bit for my husband.
Most of the time I'm ok with myself like this. I'm not the emaciated 110 lbs that I once was, but at the same time there's been times in my life that I weighed 160 lbs (without being pregnant) and the weight I am right now is my high school weight and everyone said I looked tall and thin like a model in high school, and people still say I am thin at this weight. So I'm trying to keep my cool. I know if I wanted to I could starve my way to 120 and below, but I just don't want to anymore. I don't want to destroy myself and everything good in my life for this fucking eating disorder that won't even bring me true happiness no matter how much weight I lose... I know that now.
But my thighs right now, they look fucking HUGE and it's so fucking hard to ignore this horrible feeling of feeling like I fucked up by letting myself gain a few pounds.
Also, I pretty much had to give up running because my knees started swelling up really bad every time I ran. So there's that.
Has anyone else here consciously tried to give up their ed and how did it work out? I already know it never *really* goes away.
[Discussion] The 'phases' (u know what im talking about)
/u/iluvmnms [163cm | CW: 52kg | BMI: 19.6 | GW: 48kg| UGW: 44kg | 18F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 08:11:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95mc7s/the_phases_u_know_what_im_talking_about/
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when i'm restricting or fasting i feel like i'm in much better condition (on the outside) like im putting more effort into my appearance. Weird things like grooming my nails and hair and i feel more collected and organised (verging on quiet? which is pretty shocking for an extrovert like me) and overall just like i'm living a better version of myself, especially if i'm feeling light from fasting. on the other hand, the b/p side is a downward spiral where my skins getting worse, my nails are bitten raw and i'm overall just impulsive and erratic in personality and i just feel shit about my lack of self control cos im such a tub of lard. it all kinda makes sense to me -- having control and losing it. it sorta feeds into the stereotypes with EDs (impulsive behaviour with bulimics and like really perfectionistic with anorexics) fyi i'm in the b/p phase right now. currently sitting here with a jar of peanut butter just out here livin my best life ya'll
[Rant/Rave] he wanted to lose weight with me and... LOL
/u/ihadenoughbs
Created: Wed Aug 8 07:48:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95m5f5/he_wanted_to_lose_weight_with_me_and_lol/
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https://i.redd.it/cm8b4s0ejve11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Ed makes me feel alone. I dont wanna recover but im visiting psy for antidepressant. if i dont go, i will have ti do without the med which i cant
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Wed Aug 8 07:46:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95m4pm/ed_makes_me_feel_alone_i_dont_wanna_recover_but/
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not ready to gain weight and face this illness along with depression. i dont know what to do. i promised to the doc i will gain weight but i cant make myself do it. i feel alone in this and this illness makes me wanna die
[Discussion] What is the thing you like the most about your body/face?
/u/Nutellapples
Created: Wed Aug 8 07:16:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95lwpu/what_is_the_thing_you_like_the_most_about_your/
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Hey just want to spread some positivity and it may sound dumb but sometimes it helps me so I thought maybe it will help others , hopefully not in a triggering way but in thinking about the good things you have . What are some features or things about your body you like?it can be anything related to thinness or not even related . I like my cheekbones and skinny arms and waist I guess. Not much else more . What about you all?
[Rant/Rave] i wish stuff like this didnt affect me
/u/sweaterbug
Created: Wed Aug 8 07:16:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95lwoh/i_wish_stuff_like_this_didnt_affect_me/
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today in art class i tried on the clay mask ive been working on for the whole term, and it was too thin for my face. logically it wasnt supposed to, as the character the mask is of is really thin (+ way thinner than me). i took the mask to my teacher and told her id have to sand it back so itd fit, and she said "or you could lose 10 kilos".
i know she was joking, and to any sane person that would sound like a joke, but i cant stop thinking about it. its just such a weird coincidence she'd say 10kg,because thats my weight loss goal.
tldr i need 2 grow a shell
[Help] Is it harder to do OMAD in the evening?
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 8 06:46:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95loji/is_it_harder_to_do_omad_in_the_evening/
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So I want to start doing OMAD when schools starts and because Iām gone all day, itās easiest if I do it after I get home from school (so that it looks like Iām eating). But I feel like doing it in the morning would be easier because once you get hungry at the end of the day you just go to sleep so itās easier not to binge. Whereas if I ate at night, I would sleep when Iām NOt hungry and have to go through the whole day getting hungrier. Idk tho
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else's chipmunk cheeks get WORSE when they don't purge?
/u/BonnePomme [5'6" | 81 lbs | 13.1 | 21F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 06:31:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ll1n/anyone_elses_chipmunk_cheeks_get_worse_when_they/
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I've unfortunately fallen back down the rabbit hole of b/p every day lately, but I'm trying to get it back under control. One of the things that makes it difficult is that my chipmunk cheeks get so bad when I stop purging. I'm only on day 3, but my cheeks have swollen so much they're clogging my ears and it's hard to hear. The pressure is so uncomfortable I just want to rip my salivary glands out of my face! And to make matters worse, of course my mom looks at me and says "You purged yesterday, didn't you?" and doesn't believe me when I said I didn't š
Anyone have advice for getting the swelling under control quickly? Everything I've seen from my copious Google searches has just been "stop purging" which is not too helpful. I don't even care about how it looks, I just want to alleviate the discomfort!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 08, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 8 06:12:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95lgbd/daily_food_diary_august_08_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 08, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday August 08, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 8 06:11:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95lg1v/way_to_go_wednesday_august_08_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for August 08, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Any advice for people whoāve been at a higher BMI for as long as they can remember?
/u/itszwee
Created: Wed Aug 8 05:50:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95laze/any_advice_for_people_whove_been_at_a_higher_bmi/
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Just as it says on the tin. Iāve always been short, and I ended up with a wide frame (think of every āpeasant stockā or āwarriorā stereotype but short). Iāve been on the high end of the overweight BMI category for as long as I can remember, but I donāt look what people would think of as āfatā. Iāve always had an hourglass distribution of weight, so sometimes I feel like I look really normal. Other times, I feel like Iām making excuses and hate myself more.
Anyway... anyone have any advice, for breaking/forming habits, changing mindsets, changing routines, or anything else?
[Rant/Rave] Back on track
/u/giraffes_are_selfish
Created: Wed Aug 8 04:27:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ktzq/back_on_track/
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Iām finally losing again. Iām at 111.6 lbs and 5 lbs away from my LW. Iām excited for this, albeit a little scared. Mostly scared because I canāt seem to stop and I donāt know if I can hold myself back this time. But I canāt wait to be small and tiny again and to fit in my pretty clothes. Iām happy people are starting to get worried about me again. And itās stupid and selfish and annoying that I like it and I hate that I want more of it. I just know I love it and nothing is getting in the way this time.
And itās scary.
Exercising while losing or should I save it for maintenance?
/u/noxadvena
Created: Wed Aug 8 04:18:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ksag/exercising_while_losing_or_should_i_save_it_for/
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Currently restricting calories a lot with a few fasts here and there. Iāve been working out as well to burn calories but Iām wondering if I should stop working out and save that for when I need to maintain :/
I donāt know. I enjoy it and Iām hoping it will help my muscles and help me look a bit toned when I get to my GW but idk if that would even work. Iām wondering if I should just focus solely on the food side of things right now.
Does anyone else exercise a lot while restricting a lot?? Or is it best not to.
[Other] Jeffree stars "fast metabolism"?
/u/russianpiss
Created: Wed Aug 8 04:02:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95kp60/jeffree_stars_fast_metabolism/
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https://youtu.be/xUf2-sjGqQw
[Rant/Rave] ED Dreams
/u/elite-alien
Created: Wed Aug 8 03:57:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ko0q/ed_dreams/
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Had a dream that McDonalds (I work there too) did minor surgery, like stitches and whatever. I had a break down and made surgical cuts into my stomach and under my breast, kind of like large flaps. I could see my stomach, there was a massive hole from binging. There was absolutely no blood or pain, but it felt awful.
I had an appointment to get it fixed... My manager put stitches in my stomach, throughout the whole thing she was blowing my stomach up like a balloon and giving me some serious anxiety. How bloated will this make me? Will I be hungrier? Yadda yadda. I woke up wishing it really happened, but I'm pretty nauseous now.
[Goal] My dream is to have a classical ballet body
/u/Varthaxx
Created: Wed Aug 8 03:38:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95kkfa/my_dream_is_to_have_a_classical_ballet_body/
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After my first post in this sub I lost a couple more weight. I realized that having a classical ballet body type always have been (kind of) my dream.
I used to dance few years ago, I did it for 12 years. I want to regain the lightness and sophistication that it made me feel
But as I see this topic can be controversial with people around me, I'm afraid to talk about it with them.
So I'm posting here to know what are your thoughts about it.
DEA feel triumphant when they get hunger pangs
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Wed Aug 8 02:27:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95k7x7/dea_feel_triumphant_when_they_get_hunger_pangs/
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When your stomach is cramping and you feel a headache coming on and all you can think about is a big old spoon of nutella.
Through all the pain and suffering that I'm putting my body through one thought remains: I feel this because of my discipline and self control.
[Rant/Rave] damn the curiosity of children
/u/summerservice [5'2 | 185 | -15 | 19F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 02:24:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95k7fi/damn_the_curiosity_of_children/
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kids are so annoying. I have siblings that are 10 and 11 and theyāre so on my ass about my eating habits lately? I think Iām alone so I break out the scale to get my Actual Serving Size of something and a child just materializes behind me out of thin air and asks me why Iām doing that. lol
last night I opted to stay home while the family went out for wendyās and the 11 year old was like āwhy?? why donāt you wanna come?? are you on a DIET or something? are you dieting? are you trying to lose weight is that why you donāt wanna come???ā and then the 10 year old pitches in with her goddamn intel that she saw me weighing an apple earlier. (I was actually weighing the cashew butter I was gonna dip the apple slices in... lmao).
I tried to explain to one of them why I portioned out cereal I bought once and it took a whole minute of him just parroting back ābut why? why though? but thatās weird why?ā before I gave up and said I didnāt want to talk about it.
youād think that after Iāve told them multiple times in one day that itās rude to comment on what people are eating, theyād stop. alas! itās not meant to be. kids are terrible, curious, probably-well-meaning assholes.
Advice for longer term fasting?
/u/throwawaybaby401
Created: Wed Aug 8 01:47:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95k0vf/advice_for_longer_term_fasting/
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I usually fast for a day at a time, but I want to start fasting for two or three days so I can loose weight faster? But, I'm not trying to not pass out in the middle of public or something nor do I want anyone to get all weirdly concerned... Any advice?
[Rant/Rave] i didnāt binge!
/u/isaezraa [165 | CW 55 | GW 50 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 01:43:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95jzzk/i_didnt_binge/
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i was insatiable after school today and thought i was for sure going to binge but i didnāt.
i had
210g of strawberries (55)
60g of salted caramel popcorn (297)
29g mega marshmallow (96)
19g smiths chips (99)
29g oats with 87g lite milk (150)
so even though thats a fucking whopping 697cals, i stopped before hitting my cal limit and im really proud of myself for that. its almost 6pm now and even when im in a binge i never eat after 5 so i think im safe
I hate my boobs so much. I want them to dissappear.
/u/wannathrowyouaway
Created: Wed Aug 8 01:41:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95jzt5/i_hate_my_boobs_so_much_i_want_them_to_dissappear/
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They were almost non existent at my lowest weight. Now they're big, deflated and ugly.
[Other] Iām sorry, is it too soon for another Peach thread? š
/u/kelps- [5'10 | CW: 115 | GW: 110 | BMI: 16.5 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 01:41:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95jzpx/im_sorry_is_it_too_soon_for_another_peach_thread/
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late to the game, but I finally made peach! if you wanna be my friend, add me @ blandcheerio
[Rant/Rave] I hate well meaning friends sometimes
/u/khristy313
Created: Wed Aug 8 01:15:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95juwc/i_hate_well_meaning_friends_sometimes/
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My roommate wanted me to go to Costco with her today and I agreed, going there means walking at least half a mile around the warehouse as well as loading and unloading heavy stuff from the truck. And I said I would be ingesting nothing but water until I got out of my late class, then getting some dinner (yeah right I had plans for a water fast) but OF COURSE she had to follow me around until I ate a bit of a croissant she got. And naturally I ended up thinking of nothing but eating until I got a burrito after class. I mean it was vegan and healthy but also probably around 800 cal and I feel like i messed up big time. I would have been fine distracting myself and drinking a gallon of water like usual. Fuck well meaning friends.
Need to get this off my chest because I don't want to talk about it in therapy
/u/yawaworthdeorp
Created: Wed Aug 8 01:01:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95jrqb/need_to_get_this_off_my_chest_because_i_dont_want/
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Last night my partner of two years went soft for the first time during sex. After, he told me part of the reason is because I'm not as attractive as I was before having our son. Tonight I purged for the first time. I didn't eat all day, and then of course he got us take out. It's seriously so hard being a new parent and sticking to a diet. I have tried purging a few times in the past but finally got it to work for the first time. Didn't even need to gag myself with a toothbrush after the first heave. It took a while but I think I got most of it out. I will be skinny again. And it will be for myself, not for him.
It was really gross and I don't want to do it again but I think I probably will anyway. I can't ever promise myself anything. I always 'commit' to a goal weight and then bail after a week or two. I hope this time will be different. The main reason I was skinny before getting pregnant was because of cigarettes and how often I was doing drugs. I really hate myself. I won't go back to cigarettes and drugs because of my son but I really wish I could sometimes. It's so pathetic and immature. I'm really really pathetic.
It'll be different once I'm at my goal weight though. I will be so much more confident and happy. People will be nicer, I will be more comfortable in my own skin.
Biiiiinge
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Wed Aug 8 00:50:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95jpqe/biiiiinge/
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I feel disgusting. Why are my binges so out of control. Last night I shoved about 4000 calories into my mouth in one sitting like a fucking crazy person.
I feel like I'm hungover from all the sugar and salt.
Fml
I ate. I'm feeling so bad now.
/u/fart_away
Created: Wed Aug 8 00:38:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95jnh0/i_ate_im_feeling_so_bad_now/
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I'm also away from home. Not a good place to purge. I feel so damn shitty. I don't wanna feel full.
[Thinspo] Just made a thinspo board....
/u/xpetitallegro [5'7" | SW: 170 | CW: 149 | GW: 100 | 26F]
Created: Wed Aug 8 00:16:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95jixo/just_made_a_thinspo_board/
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.... with pictures of me from 8-10 years ago.
ngl, I used to be hot shit in college. I say this without trying to be narcissistic or humblebragging. But I was my goal weight (105) in college. Clothes fit me nicely. I didn't have a damn eating disorder. I had lots of friends (and lots who wanted to be more than friends). I was HAPPY. I was confident. I felt like I was capable and had something to bring to the world.
Fast forward now, 5 years after graduating, and I've ate myself not only into being chubby and looking like lump of lard, but my depression and ED has destroyed everything else. I've fallen away from so many of my friends. I lost my confidence, my happiness, my future hopes and dreams. I live every day now just trying to survive to the next one.
I know being skinny won't fix all my issues, but at least if I can get back to the body that I used to have, I'm hoping that the resulting confidence booster will help kick-start my dreams and ambitions again.
Let's do this.
Relatable šāāļø
/u/WhatsAMooseSay [5'5 | CW 194 | -81 lbs | 27F | GW 115]
Created: Wed Aug 8 00:11:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95jhy1/relatable/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/95htz2/nsfw_i_was_having_painful_constipation_last_night/
My boyfriend sucks when it comes to my ED
/u/ohnoimsadagain
Created: Tue Aug 7 23:37:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95jb4p/my_boyfriend_sucks_when_it_comes_to_my_ed/
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This is a little rant/vent so Iām sorry if this gets annoying or whatever. Iāve struggled with my ED for YEARS ON YEARS ON YEARS now (almost 10). I have been ārecoveredā to those around me for over a year now and Iām currently 30 smacking pounds heavier and losing my got damn mind :-) it eats away at me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Every time I pass a mirror. Every time I pass my reflection. Every time I see a scale or even a morsel of food - Iām absolutely triggered. Now Iām pretty open with my boyfriend he knows my background and such but he really doesnāt understand. In fact I donāt even bother venting to him anymore because he tells me āthereās not more I can say than what I already haveā. And then today he even had the nerve to ask me āwhy does it matter?ā He always tries to downplay my ED by saying āitās just a numberā or āitās just a scaleā and it really really hurts because I feel like he doesnāt care or doesnāt understand the effect this has on me mentally and physically. He thinks I can just āstop and get over itā in a blink of an eye and thatās not the case. Iām not sure how I even bring it up to him that it bothers me that heās this Idk heartless about it? He thinks I can just stop and be ācuredā and I wish it was that easy I hate living this way but I!! CANT!! HELP!! IT!!
So I guess what Iām asking is what do I do? Should I just stop venting and confiding in him and *try* to handle this on my own ((since I have no friends))? Do I say something to him thatāll get him to understand?
Iām so sorry for how lengthy this was
[Discussion] Anyone else here in high school?
/u/blazeroftrails [5'6 | 117.7 lbs | GW 105]
Created: Tue Aug 7 23:37:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95jb2w/anyone_else_here_in_high_school/
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Everyone else seems to be dreading it but I canāt wait to go back to school. I like seeing my friends every day, I like my classes, I like the routine that comes with it, and it makes restriction so much easier. No breakfast, small lunch, normal dinner. And itās not like I can mindlessly snack in class.
[Discussion] Has anyone seen Eugenia Cooney lately?
/u/lolawings6363
Created: Tue Aug 7 23:36:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95jayg/has_anyone_seen_eugenia_cooney_lately/
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I hope she gets help however I know itās most likely not happening at this point. But I want to hear your opinion.
How do you feel about her having a platform that just keeps getting bigger?
Do you feel itās her responsibility to lookout for her fans?
I know this has been a huge controversy for a while however I just wanted to hear some opinions from people who have actually struggled with an eating disorder.
This probably comes up a lot on this sub however I havenāt been a lurker for like a good year so I havenāt seen the posts.
How to stop when binge trigger hits?
/u/jakkkk
Created: Tue Aug 7 23:34:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95jals/how_to_stop_when_binge_trigger_hits/
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When the brain takes over, and I lose all control. Is there any way to beat this? I haven't been able to beat it yet. Its like my bodys moving on its own.
Whatās the fastest youāve lost weight?
/u/throwawaybaby401
Created: Tue Aug 7 23:22:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95j84q/whats_the_fastest_youve_lost_weight/
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Like I need to loose 8-10 pounds in two weeks?
Going to bed hungry is so comforting to me.
/u/blazeroftrails [5'6 | 117.7 lbs | GW 105]
Created: Tue Aug 7 23:21:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95j7ya/going_to_bed_hungry_is_so_comforting_to_me/
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Any time I feel satiated/at least not hungry when Iām trying to fall asleep I feel shitty even if Iām under my calorie limit. I get afraid that I miscounted. Hunger is like a sign that Iām restricting right lol
[Discussion] adderall (?) and weight loss
/u/fortunate-foolx [f/5'1/cw:whale/gw:dead]
Created: Tue Aug 7 23:19:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95j7ju/adderall_and_weight_loss/
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so iām getting prescribed adderall, and i know it is known for causing appetite loss. does it last as long as you take it? what is it like appetite and weight loss wise
[Rant/Rave] other people are the worst, amirite?
/u/chezpajama
Created: Tue Aug 7 23:02:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95j401/other_people_are_the_worst_amirite/
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I asked my boyfriend to cook dinner or order something because I was tired af and my eyes were twitching and I didnāt sang to engage in food related thoughts.
Heās like āwhat do you want?ā and I say whatever you want is fine. But he wouldnāt accept that answer and got really irritated with me because I couldnāt decide.
So I stormed out, walked to the market and got some bread and veggies. Made my own food even though just chopping vegetables made me break out in a sweat and my headās pounding.
Anyway, after I had some food he basically said I couldnāt have felt that bad if I was able to buy food and cook myself dinner.
I get so annoyed with the seemingly common perception that itās not an ED if youāre not doing 30 day fasts or only eating raw cabbage and sparkling water.
Iād like to see these people try and restrict to even just 50% of their TDEE and not be moody or tired.
Like on one hand I kinda like that he doesnāt believe I have an ED because I can just be super open about it without repercussions. On the other.. well, it doesnāt feel good to have someone not believe you. Even after youāve lost 26 lbs in 11 weeks.
One small consolation is that Iām now only 14 lbs away from my goal and it feels super attainable.
I miss buying small sized jeans
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Tue Aug 7 22:12:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95iszi/i_miss_buying_small_sized_jeans/
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When I was at my low weight, buying pants was by far my favorite thing to do. Iām pretty small-boned, so shirts have never been a size issue for me- but pants are a nightmare when I gain weight because it all goes to my hips and thighs.
I so miss going into a store and heading straight for the size 0-2 rack and pulling out any pairs of pants I want because I know theyāll all fit.
I know this is super random but my main motivation to get my shit together is so that come fall I can be back into tiny jeans again. Nothing makes me feel more successful.
[Other] My eating disorder has become my only hobby, and a goodbye.
/u/Drichthy
Created: Tue Aug 7 21:34:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ijrb/my_eating_disorder_has_become_my_only_hobby_and_a/
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I donāt post here often, although Iāve lurked for quite a while now.
I had a moment of clarity today, where I thought about what my life has become.
I put my energy into this little hobby of mine. Itās very easy to track my score because, ultimately, weight is a number.
I want to go to university and function. I want to do well in my studies, I want to socialize, I want a future. My goal right now is to hit a goal weight that I know will not be my ultimate goal. It wasnāt at 110, it wasnāt at 108, and it wasnāt at 105. And at 85, it probably wonāt be, either.
I want to do other things with my life. Different goals. I donāt want to spend hours laying in bed watching videos of other people eat because Iām starving. I want to spend hours sitting in bed reading about animals because Iām about to be an animal science major. Maybe Iāll watch a documentary. Who knows? Funnily enough, thereās a whole world of YouTube out there beyond mukbang videos.
I want to prioritize my health again. Iāve lost my period, and now Iām losing my hair. At first I thought I was just shedding more hair than usual because I wasnāt brushing my hair enough, and it was just hair that would otherwise be removed through routine hair brushing. Haha, nope. It was fun lying to myself while it lasted, though.
Iām always angry, Iām always tired. Iāve become selfish, irritable, and depressed. Iāve made it so food and weight are the only two things in my life. I binge, and I restrict. Thatās it. I like food, and I like losing weight, and those are the only two things that give me any sort of pleasure in my life.
So, yeah. Maybe Iām just feeling extra motivated and will come back here again. But for now, Iām going to be asking for a mod ban (once I figure out how to do that on mobile).
I donāt know. I just uh...I just thought, and then I posted. Sorry this is a bit more like a 12-year-oldās diary entry, but maybe someone will appreciate reading this. Iāll ask for a mod ban, and then Iāll be taking this subreddit off of my bedtime reading list.
Best of luck.
[Rant/Rave] Okay, wow this shit is good.
/u/WaitingForHealing [5'5.5" | 271 | 218 | 115 | 24F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 21:29:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95iip1/okay_wow_this_shit_is_good/
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https://i.redd.it/bgy7wgqzgse11.jpg
Purged for the third day in a row.
/u/apfrun
Created: Tue Aug 7 21:22:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ih0d/purged_for_the_third_day_in_a_row/
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Today I couldn't manage to get anything up, no clue why. So I took some medicine I'm hoping will help, otherwise it's laxatives tomorrow. Idk why I even did, all three days I've been well within 1200. But I feel like a complete fatass if it's not below 1000. I DESPERATELY want to fast. So bad. Any tips for someone who can't afford any multivitamins or anything whatsoever. The only thing I have that slightly suppress my hunger is coffee, but I can't drink that black..
PSA: Bronkaid is RX only in some states
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 121 | GW 108 | 21.1 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 21:22:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95igxu/psa_bronkaid_is_rx_only_in_some_states/
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Finally worked up the courage to ask for some only to be told it's prescription only. Save yourselves the panic and know before you go, folks.
[Discussion] no longer hungry?
/u/bigbeyoncefan
Created: Tue Aug 7 21:11:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ie7z/no_longer_hungry/
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I used to fast for only a few hours and just call it quits and eat a somewhat healthy dinner or snack and that was it but now I have no appetite and no cravings. It might be the depression kicking in but who knows all I had today was a matcha tea and thatās it
[Discussion] Afraid that I might have "infected" my friend with my ED thoughts??
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Tue Aug 7 21:11:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ie6y/afraid_that_i_might_have_infected_my_friend_with/
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So I talked a lot about calories and whether I should buy food some days or not, etc. But after weeks of doing this (I was just venting - didn't know she would start copying) then I noticed her also counting calories and starting to talk about diets - no carbs, etc. I know she's overweight so I know that dieting is normal for overweight people - I just don't want her to become consumed with all these thoughts like I have. I don't know what the difference between healthy dieting and obsessing about food is. I don't think she's in the bad state of thinking about food right now but I don't want it to turn out bad for her. What things can I say that will kind of lean her to the right direction of non-ed mindset?
[Discussion] Did anyone grow up in an emotionally abusive household?
/u/emokittensTW
Created: Tue Aug 7 20:57:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ialb/did_anyone_grow_up_in_an_emotionally_abusive/
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From a young age I was always compared to my sisters who are 5 and 7 years older than me.
I remember my mom telling one of my sisters who wanted pig pajama pants that "you can't put a piggy on a piggy" and that stuck with me : I'm not allowed to wear certain clothes because I'm too big. Then my sister lost a bunch of weight and my mom said how pretty she was - from what I know it was done healthy from running everyday and a healthy diet but who knows.
But I always always compared to them : my mom told me I wasn't as smart as them, I wasn't as thin as them, I wasn't as nice as them and I wasn't as pretty as them. My brother told me "you're not ugly, you're just fat. If you lost weight you'd be as pretty as them"
And that's what started my 8 year long journey of binging, restricting and purging only to gain weight back. From 5th grade (10 years old) I always said how ugly and fat I was : so I went on a diet and my family encouraged it. I wanted to be like my sisters so bad, they were prefect and then my mom would finally love me. My mom made sure to call me fat and ugly because she knew it hurt me since 3rd grade (8 years old).
I hate myself so much. I just want to be like my sisters, maybe this stems from how great my mom treated my sisters : how nice she was to them, how she never called them fat and ugly, how she never raised her voice at them, how she never called them names. Maybe it stems from my brother telling me "no man will love you when you're fat" on my birthday but then offering to take my sisters shopping for their birthday.
Why can't I be perfect? Why can't I just be beautiful? If I'm finally thin my mother will stop being so mean to me, she won't have anything to pick on : no more calling me fat, no more calling me ugly. I won't be fat or ugly.
I hate the parts of myself that i just can't change
/u/SpiritedStrawberry [5'0'' | CW 110 | GW 88 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 20:50:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95i8ye/i_hate_the_parts_of_myself_that_i_just_cant_change/
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I have broad shoulders. Even when I was 90lbs, my broad shoulders just made me look so BIG. Even though I'm short i'll never be able to get that waifish look that i crave because I'm just big. wide. i bump into people when I sit by them. i'm wider than my taller friends. I saw a girl with such naturally narrow shoulders today and I just wanted to cry because no matter what i'll just never look like that, it doesn't matter what i do.
I've had legit breakdowns over the stupidest fucking things. I HATE that i can't change the width of my shoulders. i hate it so much. why does this affect me so badly? i hate that it drives me so crazy too.
[Rant/Rave] fake fake fake fake fake
/u/descarrilho [152cm | cw:34?? | bmi 15 | nb]
Created: Tue Aug 7 20:46:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95i817/fake_fake_fake_fake_fake/
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im a fucking phony thats all i am. i cant even purge i cant finish a fast i cant fucking do this thing right, i hit s target weight just to baloon back up and why? you wanna know why? cause im just fucking pretending. i dont have an eating disorder, i mean, right? who says they'te afraid of food just to binge their way through a pantry?????? WHO THE FUCK WEIGHTS 35 KILOS AND STILL HAS A FLABBY STOMACH?
dumb fucking faker losers like me, thats who
How to stay fit with ED
/u/jasmine0326
Created: Tue Aug 7 20:43:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95i77t/how_to_stay_fit_with_ed/
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I'm on a competitive soccer team and I'm scared my athletic performance will decrease the more I restrict. Does anyone have tips for keeping up energy levels, preventing fatigue, etc.? I usually just eat more the day of games, but are there other methods? I haven't tried many energy gels or anything like that. Thanks!
Why do I restrict so well during the day and binge at night?
/u/PM-MEYOURDICKPICS
Created: Tue Aug 7 20:35:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95i55w/why_do_i_restrict_so_well_during_the_day_and/
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I was restricting so well and then I had two whole grain waffles, yogurt and chocolate milk. I was so happy with how I was performing and then boom, I just binged.
:( I know realistically my body was probably craving these foods but I'm so fat why couldn't it just burn off some of that instead of eating :((
[Rant/Rave] Low restricting and purging :/
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Tue Aug 7 20:29:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95i3lp/low_restricting_and_purging/
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Idk I just need to share my experience. I generally stay under 300 calories a day but lately, basically since I figured out how, I've been purging the vast majority of those calories. Like I'll eat starwberries or a rice cake and within 5 minutes I'll be throwing it back up. I just feel so out of control. And like I still have weight to lose but since I've relasped about a month ago I've lost about 20 lbs. I'm so scared. I hate this so much.
[Discussion] Anyone else have a strange desire to feed people?
/u/HemophilicHamster [5'5" |CW: š³|GW: when I'm either happy or dead | F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 20:18:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95i0v0/anyone_else_have_a_strange_desire_to_feed_people/
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Like, I have this friend who doesn't like eating. She's not disordered, she just sees it as another necessity like sleeping and showering. So sometimes she'll skip meals by just forgetting to eat. And whenever she tells me this I get into overprotective-momfriend mode and insist on cooking her dinner/taking her out. You guys, I love food. But I'm terrified of it and terrified of gaining weight. So I get this weird sense of pleasure from making sure my other friends eat? Idk it's kind of like I'm trying to protect them from the pit where i am, like " I need to make sure you don't end up like me". Anyone else like this?
My weight makes me depressed and depression makes me want to eat
/u/chpbnvic [5'4" | CW 160.6 lbs | GW 115 | 25F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 20:12:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95hz6u/my_weight_makes_me_depressed_and_depression_makes/
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Itās a fucking nightmare. Iām an emotional eater/comfort eater and itās awful. I canāt control myself and Iām sick to my stomach at how horrible I am. Why canāt I stop. Why did I let this happen to myself. Fucking end me. Iām no more attractive to men than a fucking dirty shoe. Iām worthless. Why does this have to be my life. Damn it.
I wish I could be concerned with anything other than my weight
/u/firstofallhowdareu [5'6" / gw: 113 / š: lemontreesxo]
Created: Tue Aug 7 20:00:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95hw9g/i_wish_i_could_be_concerned_with_anything_other/
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Sorry for the word vomit but I needed to vent.
I am coming out of a pretty bad binge cycle. Over the past month I've put on about 9 lb and my god I fucking hate it. I hate how fat I look. I hate how my clothes feel so much tighter. I hate how my face has broken out. I hate the fact that I had gotten down to 114.6 (so fucking close to my first GW) and then I fucked it all up. I'm trying to fix it now but the self-control I had is gone. I am supposed to be getting back to restricting but I'm sucking at that because I ate 1072 yesterday and 1338 today and it's just a matter of time before the bingeing starts up again because I'm a monster with no self control. I was getting so close and I fucked it all up.
There are so many other things I should be concerned with but it all comes back to weight. Like the fact I haven't seen my family since Christmas, but I don't want to go visit because it means I can't restrict like I need to and despite the fact I was at least 30 lb heavier at Christmas, I'm not thin enough to see them yet. I've finally been making friends and I'm isolating myself from them (at least the ones who don't get "it" which is most of them) because generally being social means calories (and I'm so fucking fat now this shouldn't even matter, the damage has been done). I'm probably going to lose my best friend because I am a piece of shit. I've been dating someone and it's almost going well (lol real low standards here) but I know if I don't lose this weight fast he'll stop seeing me, and at the same time that might be okay because that's one less person who wants to go out to eat or make dinner with me. I just got an amazing new job and I'm actually doing pretty well at it but I don't care. I was supposed to be skinny when I started but I'm not.
I don't care about any of it even though I know I should and it makes me feel like garbage. I just want to be skinny.
Dad says Iāve gained weight and Iām not sure what to think
/u/myotheroneforred [19F - Height 5'9| CW 120 | BMI 17.7| ]
Created: Tue Aug 7 19:56:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95hv42/dad_says_ive_gained_weight_and_im_not_sure_what/
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Today I was in the car with my dad and we saw a very skinny woman running with her dog. Before I could stop myself I blurted out, āwow I wish I looked like her!ā My Dad says, āwell you used to look like her, all bony and stuff, but now you look better and more filled out.ā I know he was trying to compliment me, but everyone who has an ED understands how it feels when someone says you look healthy. Hereās the hard part, I have only gained 3 pounds within the course of 2 years. Has my body really gone from ābonyā to āfilled outā only because of 3 pounds?? I just canāt stop thinking about it.
[Help] Freaking out about a sip of beer.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 88.6lbs| 14.2 | Male]
Created: Tue Aug 7 19:40:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95hr2k/freaking_out_about_a_sip_of_beer/
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I was curious about my partner's bourbon blood orange wheat ale, and had a sip. Would this affect my weight/metabolism at all? About how many calories are we talking (165kcal for 650ml)?
[Rant/Rave] I might be able to lose weight, but I will always be ugly.
/u/2ndfirstday [:redditgold: 5'5" | C 102.6 | G 95 | :downvote:1 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 19:40:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95hqwc/i_might_be_able_to_lose_weight_but_i_will_always/
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My friend visited from out of town yesterday, so we took pictures together.
I thought my weight was my biggest issue. Holy fuck, my face. Itās awful. I cried over these pictures.
[Discussion] does anyone else love to plan their food for the next day?
/u/upupandawayay [5'3" | 98 | 17.8 | -20 | 90<3 |]
Created: Tue Aug 7 19:36:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95hpy1/does_anyone_else_love_to_plan_their_food_for_the/
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(i dont really have an ed bc i eat too much hahdahfhah i just have disordered thinking and habits towards food/body image that ive picked up that i do) but this is rlly the only place i can put this. idk if its just me, but my favorite thing to do at the end of the day is to budget and calculate my calories as much as i know is in my control for the next day. i log like 500 cals under "binge" in MFP as a place keeper under dinner bc my mom will cook dinner half the time + shit happens even though i know my cals will be under 500 for dinner or i will freak. then ill log everything before that and make it all perfect and it makes me so excited and idek why. i also feel like this keeps me from overeating or overshooting how many cals i have left, and if anything i have leftovers at the end of the day bc cross country and all the running i do offseason is a godsend that lets me eat like 200-500 cals more because my net cals will still be within my goal. i feel so accomplished when i can have a snack at night and still be under my mfp goal lol
Just saw the syllabus for a gym course I have to to graduate
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 19:17:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95hl0m/just_saw_the_syllabus_for_a_gym_course_i_have_to/
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Guys I have to take a gym course to graduate college and the only one I could get into that wasnāt full is called āWellness through weight trainingā. On the syllabus it says on the first and last days of class we will be WEIGHING OURSELVES, finding our BMI, body fat %, and doing all of our measurements. I canāt drop out of college over this, Iām a senior and Iām too far in lmao. It did cross my mind though!!! Classes start on the 22nd so Iām going to try to eat as little as possible so I donāt show up to class looking huge, this is going to be such a rough semester :( I really hope we donāt do this in front of other students because it might make me cry if people watch me measure/weigh myself.
[Discussion] Fasting vs High Restricting
/u/pointlessparadox [5'4" | bmi 21 | 16 ftm | gw 105 | cw 125 | hw 160]
Created: Tue Aug 7 18:58:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95hg8d/fasting_vs_high_restricting/
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To me it seems like itās easier to continuously not eat rather than mix in a couple snacks every day, ed inertia i suppose. It also feels like eating just a little bit makes me even more hungry. Sometimes I think I get more head rushes dizziness while high restricting than I do while fasting even with electrolyte supplements.
What are everyoneās experiences with hunger and dizziness while fasting, extended fasting, and high restricting? Do you feel like they get better or worse depending on what youāre doing?
Back on my BS
/u/queenofflavortown [5'0"|CW 143lbs|HW 175|GW 120|F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 18:51:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95hejk/back_on_my_bs/
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Idk if I posted enough for anyone to even ~fathom~ remembering me lol, but I unsubbed from here a couple months ago because I thought I was off my stupid, insignificant, idk-why-i-even-call-it-this restrict-binge cycle. I thought I could truly try to intuitive eat for weight loss (if that makes any sense at all), and I guess it worked for a couple of weeks. BUT I'M BACK ON MY BULLSHIT BINGING. I've been maintaining my weight for the past two months, and I'm FED UP. I'm out of control. I need to start restricting myself better, especially because I recently developed a fucking infection on my leg because I've been obsessively scratching because I keep binging which means I can't run to burn off extra calories and I'm just sick of it all. I'm 15 pounds away from being at a normal BMI, 22 pounds away from being at my goal weight. IT SHOULDN'T BE THIS HARD. If I buckle down, I can totally get it done, so why am I not???
Sorry if this is incoherent. I just binged for the last time, and I wanted to hold myself accountable. No more binging. I'm going to lose this stupid weight one way or another.
[Discussion] For the first time I b/p in a public area
/u/Internet_Soup
Created: Tue Aug 7 18:48:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95hdqo/for_the_first_time_i_bp_in_a_public_area/
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I went out for dinner with my sister and friends for her birthday. And I ate a lot today and got pissed at myself for doing so. I was going to wait until I got home to purge but I knew we would be here for a longer time so I decided I needed to do it now or it was never. And I did it..
I feel so ashamed and alone. Has anyone else done this or gone through it? How did you feel about it after?
Who do you guys want to be?
/u/sweetmarten [176 | 60 | 18.98 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 18:21:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95h6ne/who_do_you_guys_want_to_be/
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I know it's a broad question but I'm interested to know, so I'll give you an example of who I want to be:
I want to be this leggy, skinny creature who is thin enough to look good in the most eccentric or high fashion clothes. Thin enough to envy but not obviously sick - I want people to wonder: can she naturally look like that, or does she have some kind of eating disorder?
I want to be quietly confident and motivated. Go to every lecture, take notes in every class, ace every test - the anorexic energiser bunny. Go to the gym every day and love it, do deep stretches, be effortlessly lithe and flexible. Eat mostly fruits and vegetables, sometimes a beautiful delicate cake or tart with a tiny dessert fork.
Attractive enough that many people are interested in me, but also attractive enough to feel justified in turning them down. A collection of beautiful lingerie and another of beautiful shoes. Wake up at 6 every morning, green tea, a big dog that I look small next to.
Eating at maintenance, losing no more weight and not having to think about food anymore because the healthy food I eat is just enough for me. Recovered but forever small.
[Help] Desperate need of advice on weening off ephedrine
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -70 | 31F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 18:00:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95h0ze/desperate_need_of_advice_on_weening_off_ephedrine/
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Iāve dabbled with EC stacks in the past but Iāve been taking bronkaid every day for nearly two years (usually twice per day but sometimes only once). Iāve gotten to the point that Iām legitimately scared of coming off. Itās not even the hunger Iām afraid of, Iām just so accustomed to it at this point.
Help please
recovery was a mistake.
/u/shes-dreaming
Created: Tue Aug 7 17:30:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95gsun/recovery_was_a_mistake/
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i'm four months in and finally falling apart. these last couple weeks i've been constantly eating garbage/eating over my limit, yet i'm always fucking hungry. I binged these last two days and just purged for the first time.
i've been trying to convince myself that this ... roundness ... is mostly bloating, but there's no way. it's all fat, and it's all going to my stomach. i feel so gross and so so stupid. i don't know why i did this to myself.
[Rant/Rave] Losing weight is a struggle
/u/Scarab-Beetle
Created: Tue Aug 7 17:24:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95gr5h/losing_weight_is_a_struggle/
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I have to lose 20 pounds and itās really discouraging. I was in recovery for a LONG time, and once I got to college I realised I can control what I eat since Iām not surrounded by food or people that are going to worry about how little I eat.
Not Iām not going to mention my current weight, but 20 pounds is a really good and healthy amount of weight loss for me. I would be dead if I lost 30 pounds so thatās not an option haha.
Itās just so hard because I still have a recovery brain that says āYou have to eatā and Iām also an instant gratification type of person so that makes it suck more haha.
I wish time didn't feel like it's going by so slow when I'm restricting
/u/KittyMClaire
Created: Tue Aug 7 17:16:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95gp4l/i_wish_time_didnt_feel_like_its_going_by_so_slow/
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I always feel like time is going by so slow when I'm actually losing.. it sucks. When I binge and feel satisfied a day can't last long enough, but when I'm actually trying to get down in lbs more it one minute feels like five. I try to distract myself from this by playing games or watching shows but I don't even want to do that. Anyone else feel this way? What do you do?
I've been taking benadryl earlier than I actually need to sleep, just because I'm so BORED of being awake and nothing seems to satisfy.
[Discussion] Anyone else have an insane desire to be taller?
/u/Foureyedlemon
Created: Tue Aug 7 17:09:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95gn6s/anyone_else_have_an_insane_desire_to_be_taller/
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If I was taller then I would be skinnier. Iām 5ā4 so Iām a bit short but I have scoliosis. If my spine was straight I think Iād have at least another 2 inches. I think about it constantly. I could look just a liiiiiittle bit thinner if I had extra height.
It sucks because thereās nothing you can do about your height lol. I feel like shorter people always look chubbier no matter how little you weigh
Iām back.
/u/Izabacchanalist
Created: Tue Aug 7 17:03:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95glhd/im_back/
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A three week long binge and 10lbs later Iām back.
Send will power, I only have two fat outfits on rotation š©.
[Discussion] Does anybody know why is that?
/u/Burlesqua [š· 5'4'' | CW:108 | BMI:18 | 20/F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 16:52:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95gic8/does_anybody_know_why_is_that/
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Iāve been stuck in a heavy b/p circle these past weeks and today I noticed something : when I binge on stuff such as cereals, biscuits, bread, chocolate, pastries.. I literally *cannot* stop ācause I never feel full on it. However, if I binge on āheavyā food like pizza, potatoes, cheese, it comes to point where I feel satisfied. Itās not a carbs issue because pasta and rice only make me bloated and I donāt feel satiated after eating them (yes, even on their whole grain counterpart). šš
Any ideas?
[Help] crying because i canāt purge.
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Tue Aug 7 16:41:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95gffk/crying_because_i_cant_purge/
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i ended a 40 hour fast with 1,000 calories and now i want to die. i spent 30 minutes trying to purge... used all the tips and tricks and nothing worked. why canāt i purge??? i need help. i swear i stuck my fingers and my toothbrush as far down my throat as i possibly could and did everything to try to make myself throw up and i just couldnāt. itās too late now...
i need help... i canāt purge anymore and itās killing me.
ED in a workspace
/u/poppybex
Created: Tue Aug 7 16:36:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95gdxk/ed_in_a_workspace/
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Long time no post. I recently got a new position and everyone in my office likes to eat together. Is anyone extremely triggered by restricting + eating around people?
My lunches are comped by the company but not knowing the exact nutritional value of everything creeps me out so Iām bringing my own lunch tomorrow and Iām anxious at the idea of being mocked... Add the office snacks you canāt say no to, having to bring your own stevia etc. Ha.
[Help] My first attempt
/u/thicclucc
Created: Tue Aug 7 16:20:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95g9m9/my_first_attempt/
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Iām trying the ABC diet. This is the first time Iāve ever tried something like this and Iām kinda scared. Some motivation would be nice?
[Other] Is this a skelly birb aka what dark corner of my mind comes up with this
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 7 15:22:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95frtx/is_this_a_skelly_birb_aka_what_dark_corner_of_my/
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https://i.redd.it/m651aasgnqe11.jpg
I look like a fucking Neanderthal, my friend encouraging my ED
/u/PM-MEYOURDICKPICS
Created: Tue Aug 7 15:02:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95fl8j/i_look_like_a_fucking_neanderthal_my_friend/
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I hate myself, I hate myself so fucking much.
I look like a Neanderthal and a man. If I lost weight I wouldn't be so ugly.
I finally opened up to my friend about my ed and she said "is it because your weight? If you were skinny would you not have it anymore" and it makes me so sad. She even encouraged me to get a script for adderall
WHY CANT I BE BEAUTIFUL
WHY AM I LIKE THIS
WHY AM I SO UGLY.
Friends don't understand what they say has an effect. I was ED free for 5 years and a comment saying I look like Amy Schumer revived it, I hate myself.
I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself.
[Rant/Rave] iām a dumbass
/u/deadbigfoot
Created: Tue Aug 7 14:50:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95fhqj/im_a_dumbass/
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iām pissed!!! lol! iām just complaining because i just ate a shit ton of cashews and pistachios and it was so avoidable. i bought them shits KNOWING that i was gonna binge on them and i did and i ate over 600 calories because theyāre so high calorie. fuck! and now i just feel sick and fat and fucked up and iām trying to resist the urge to purge it
Ritalin. A godsend or my self destruction?
/u/Dumbledickhead [5'5 | CW 114 GW 108| 19 BMI| 30 lbs lost | F-25]
Created: Tue Aug 7 14:30:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95faxj/ritalin_a_godsend_or_my_self_destruction/
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So finally got my ritalin prescription. Completely stopped my appetite. Now I'm down another 3lbs. But at what cost? I'm so happy cause now I can fast and not care but I'm also killing myself. Meh
three weeks of restricting and fasting and my weight has gone up arghhhh
/u/multicolour-squirrel [5'8 |147lbs|-18lbs|GW:132|25F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 14:23:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95f936/three_weeks_of_restricting_and_fasting_and_my/
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at least this is motivation to push through some 48hour fasts -_- I have even turned down single curly fries from my partner. what is life.
Iāve lost 20lbs in a month but I still look the same.
/u/ImKindaFatOof
Created: Tue Aug 7 14:21:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95f8aj/ive_lost_20lbs_in_a_month_but_i_still_look_the/
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To be honest I feel like I look worse, I look massive, my thighs jiggle when I walk and I canāt even exercise without dying. Im down to 130lbs (Im 5 foot 3), the lowest Iāve ever been was 80lbs (I was still fat then but that was last year) and then I tried recovering and ended up at my highest weight of 175lbs so Iāve managed to lose about 45lbs since may so in 3 months.
I havenāt been trying to lose weight though, Iām still eating like a pig and never exercising so at least now I know that if I started trying that I could do this. I could be pretty and thin again.
Anyways I just wanted to ask if anyone else ever felt the same?
TMW I Feel Functionally Useless As A Human Being
/u/DootDeeDootDeeDoo [5'0|BMI:46.6|SW:285|CW:237|GW:75|FtM]
Created: Tue Aug 7 14:07:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95f3ps/tmw_i_feel_functionally_useless_as_a_human_being/
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I just spun in place five times alternately mentally screaming at myself:
"You're a fat ass, you don't need it! You'll just get some later anyway, so why go from "some" to "more"?!?!
and "You've been good, you purged earlier, so you've basically eaten nothing today, it's okay to have a little excess"
...about a handful of BBQ chips.
I am so broken. I hate this. I can't even decide between "suffering is worth it" and "what's the point if I have to suffer my whole life to just not despise myself".. It's like my brain has NO inbetween. Either it wants me to starve to an unhealthy weight (I'm currently 5'0", obese and bulimic) or give up completely and just accept that I will never not be fat.
These are the kind of thoughts that would have pushed me to cutting earlier in life, but I (stupidly- in the opinion of someone who isn't ready for recovery, I guess) took Risperdal (Risperidone) which severed the link between cutting and ease of emotional pain. So now I'm just... here.... being a fat fucking pig, I can't stop purging (which I HATE because I promised my loving and accepting boyfriend I would, so I feel like a complete FRAUD to him) and I can't restrict right.
I don't even know what this post was about, I'm just mentally exhausted. I ended my little circling bullshit by collapsing on the floor and crying. Then I gave up on the chips and opted instead for alcohol. I hate myself for how I am, hate myself for not being strong enough to commit to being better, or at LEAST being "properly" disordered in a way that would lose the weight*, and hate myself for just EXISTING. I've done restriction, I have a food scale, not counting booze, most days I eat less than 1000 calories, but (because I'm currently useless and unemployed, all my wonderful best friend will get me is high calorie BudLight-A-Ritas, but alcohol is the only thing left that numbs the pain and makes life bearable.) I'm still just staying at a weight between 230-240 lbs. I don't think I've kept (read: not purged) ANY food in two weeks, at least. I KNOW this is bad for me, but I'm at a point where... It would almost be "better" if I died? I'm sub-level suicidal (read: too chicken to actually kill myself, but still want to die most of the time anyway) 90% of the time.
And it HURTS SO MUCH, especialy since I'm only 6 days away from my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. Before I met him, I thought the primary reason I was so fucked up was because nobody loved me. But he DOES. He loves me so much, and he's the absolutely most supportive and wonderful man on the planet- and it makes me hate myself EVEN MORE to know that I've got this wonderful man in my life, and it has changed NOTHING.
Does anyone have ANY tips?? ANYTHING AT ALL that can help me? I don't care if it's just to help me go from Bulimic to Anorexic*... just... ANYTHING. ANY CHANGE at all. I can't keep this up, I honestly used to think of myself as a "strong" person. I went through [hell as a child](https://www.reddit.com/r/antinatalism/comments/94kr3t/thoughts_on_the_concept_of_narcissistic/e3mvbxu/?context=3) and I've considered myself to be "strong" for making it through that, but.. Clearly, I'm not strong enough to battle my own demons.
I don't know what type of responses to this to expect. My brain tells me you will all just laugh at my ineptitude, but from what I've seen here, I hope that won't happen, this seems like a sub of people who genuinely do care. I just don't know what to do. I'm really close to the edge. Idk what the "edge" means, I just know I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to losing whatever tiny bit of control over my life that I've managed to have, and I have no idea what will happen if I lose it.
ANY replies will be more than welcome. Seriously. Even if it's harsh criticism, touch love... ANYTHING. PLEASE reply to this. I'm losing grip on everything. I need help.
**I KNOW that anorexia is NOT "easier", I have seen from your posts, and from the real-life (sorta- he's not, to my knowledge, Anorexic, but my bf is one of those "naturally skinny" types, but he's legit underweight, he eats less than he should for how much he's on his feet etc), I've started to think he's anorexic but doesn't realize it, idk. He's around 7% body fat at 6 feet tall. He isn't happy about it, but doesn't have the same type of issues I've seen in ED people.. Idk)
Sorry, this is rambling... It's mostly just a stream of thought... I just had to get it out.
I need help, and I trust you guys. I don't know how to continue this way, and I don't know how to change. I'm lost (imagine Stitch from Lilo and Stitch saying this.). I need help.
I'm so lost. I'm sorry if this is annoying, and DEFINITELY SORRY if it offends anyone.. This is just the best way my brain can think to put it right now, considering my mind is going 1000 directions at once right now.
[Help] Am I relapsing?
/u/lxelan4862 [ā½5'3 | CW 104 lbs | BMI 18.4 | GW 98 | Femaleā½]
Created: Tue Aug 7 14:01:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95f1t5/am_i_relapsing/
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So I've been trying to get in control of the situation, but every time I eat normally I bloat a lot and feel extremely full (keep in mind my intake is fairly the same as everyone else). Because of that I'm more reluctant on eating with others, and try to stick to foods that I'm comfortable with (you can call them safe foods). I don't drink milk or eat any dairy products, and if I have a sweet craving I absolutely have to know what it is and its nutritional content first. On the other hand during my deep ed phases I would only eat ~400 calories a day; I try to eat around 1000 now because even though its below my maitenance I don't feel like I overate - theres a big difference between now and then. Can you call this recovery? Or is this just a less "extreme" continued form of my eating disorder?
[Rant/Rave] I hate pictures
/u/no_worms_onthebed
Created: Tue Aug 7 13:59:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95f14g/i_hate_pictures/
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Of myself...obviously. I was at a going away party last night and took a picture with my friend (who is moving out of state). And I look like a fat fucking cow. I even weighed myself beforehand and Iām at 118. That canāt be right.
All I could think about all night was how I ācouldnātā eat the pizza they had or the beer I brought. The beer I BROUGHT.
Iām so damn sad my friend is moving(proud of him but also bummed) but I feel like I was just a huuuuuuuuge waste of space at that party.
[Rant/Rave] Things Went Well Until...
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 105 | 19.2 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 13:57:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95f0ml/things_went_well_until/
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My brother.
So, Iām at home watching my little brother whilst my parents are on holiday. My older brother is 21, and cannot be depended on for any reason. Heās never left home and hasnāt been away from my parents before this holiday, refuses to go to college because he doesnāt want to be away from my motherā he is extremely dependent. He has no disability, by the way. Heās just entirely... babied, I suppose? Even my mother has admitted this in that exact phrasing.
Today, I ate well. I had a small waffle, halo top, a tofu hotdog with bun, and mac and cheese. 1,300 kcals. I felt great, in fact, and was hellbent on not purging. When I had the mac and cheese, everyone else ate first. I had the remaining single serving size from the pot because there wasnāt a point in using a bowl.
āSave some for everyone else. Stop devouring it.ā Is what he said. I stared at himā he wasnāt joking. I asked him if he wanted more, he said no. This brother is a bit more heavy set and tends to project his insecurities on others.
In other words, I purged everything I ate today. So much for that streak.
Iām relapsing on purpose.
/u/jesusisahoe
Created: Tue Aug 7 13:38:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95eugr/im_relapsing_on_purpose/
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I was anorexic. Key word: was. This was some 5 years ago. Iāve been pretty healthy and a steady weight ever since then. But lately I feel out of control. My depression is worse than ever, every day I think about how Iād kill my self. I have a nice body. I like it and other people like it too. But itās not enough. Iām beginning to restrict again because it makes me feel in control. I feel accomplished when the number on the scale goes down, even though I LIKE my body how it is now. But Iāll always remember my lowest weight, my smallest size, and my longest fast. I know I am in control and I could easily snap out of this relapse, I just donāt wanna. I donāt know what to do. Iām restricting calories, when I can eat, and even stopped eating gluten. I know I shouldnāt go down this road again but itās just so fucking tempting. I love being in control. Even if it means headaches, body aches, isolation, and everything else that is coming with Ana.
[Help] I really need help. *Trigger Warning*
/u/kayasawyer [ 4'11 | 100 | 18.5 | 20 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 13:32:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95esjf/i_really_need_help_trigger_warning/
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Iām in the middle of a binge and I donāt know how to stop. Help me please. I feel like I could devour the entire kitchen. What the fuck is wrong with me???
[Other] my dad said he was proud of me for eating so healthy
/u/impractically-me
Created: Tue Aug 7 13:28:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95eqzk/my_dad_said_he_was_proud_of_me_for_eating_so/
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i donāt think heād be very proud if he really knew what was going on, i dont think hed be proud if he saw what goes through my head
[Rant/Rave] PMS plateau
/u/coffeehearts [5'5" | CW 130 | GW 120 | BMI 21.6 | -11 lbs | F(26)]
Created: Tue Aug 7 13:02:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ej1l/pms_plateau/
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PMS right now is stalling weight loss when I know I've been in a deficit. I'm pissed. My face and legs look smaller but my belly looks SO bloated!! :( On top of that I'm moody and extra hungry. I wasn't planning on eating much more today but I knew I would binge if I didn't eat something filling. I made some rice and beans with a little salsa so that I would be able to fast for the rest of the night.
I know I will whoosh 3-4 lbs after my period if I stay on track, but somehow I'm always caught off guard by the PMS struggles...even when I know they are coming! I have a job interview on Thursday. I know this is dramatic but I wish I could postpone it until after my period so I could look my best. Periods suck :(
[Other] I drew myself pre binge and purge
/u/sad_skelly [5'8"|125lbs| F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 12:46:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95edk0/i_drew_myself_pre_binge_and_purge/
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https://i.redd.it/m1nwug4mvpe11.jpg
Fasting buddies?
/u/missyou0111
Created: Tue Aug 7 12:35:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95e9ue/fasting_buddies/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Periods suck
/u/Cactuseye
Created: Tue Aug 7 12:32:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95e8ud/periods_suck/
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I'm so frustrated, I was doing SO Well losing weight got down to 156, then boom period starts and now I've been maintaining 157-158 since then even though I'm eating the same way as before where I was losing 3 pounds a week. I know it's water and whatever(even took lax yesterday, didn't help) but it's just frustrating restricting. Hoping after it ends I'll be down a few extras, or at the very least 156 again
Keto + Cronometer
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: IDK, TOO MUCH| GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 12:13:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95e311/keto_cronometer/
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I am on day 2 of vegan Keto, which has been surprisingly easy thus far, and I have discovered and fallen in love with cronometer. Iām trying really hard to make sure I get all my micros to avoid Keto flu, and while itās definitely to early to tell, I am hoping this will help. I also am just obsessed with all the data it gives you beyond what my fitness pal offers. Where has this been all my life? *que me developing more obsessions over micro*
P.s. if anyone has any Keto tips I would love them! I am bracing myself for the Wall I inevitably will hit.
I'm so sick of caring about having a flat stomach
/u/Kitkat9229
Created: Tue Aug 7 12:03:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95dzty/im_so_sick_of_caring_about_having_a_flat_stomach/
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On mobile, please post as a discussion and NSFW for swearing.
Up until yesterday, I have NEVER considered accepting my body "as is." I was talking to my boyfriend about how frustrated I am with my flabby stomach and he responded by saying I won't ever be truly happy until I accept my body. I don't know what happened but when he said that it's like a lightbulb turned on. For my entire life, I've never questioned the belief that one day I'll have the perfect body. I've always had this image of myself with a flat stomach, toned arms, etc and it's only been a "matter of time" before I got there. But it has never happened and maybe it won't ever happen.
At first I was so fucking pissed at myself because I haven't put in the work to make this image a reality. I started hating myself and saying how it's my fault that I haven't done the work and so I don't deserve to love my body as it is. But then I started to get pissed because I'm not a fucking failure. Almost every bit of media gives us the message that we're a failure because we don't look perfect. Fuck media for making 99.99% of people feel absolutely terrible about themselves. Fuck the stupid thinspo that makes me feel like a failure as a person for being a normal weight instead of a stick figure. Fuck all of this shit. My life would be so much more fulfilling if I didn't give a fuck about having a flat stomach.
I have no idea how to let go and actually stop caring. I just needed to rant about this because it's so unbelievably frustrating how much we all get shit on. I'm just so tired of it and for the first time I'm finally not mad at myself.
[Discussion] How do I get a flat stomach in a week?
/u/fjrjcthb
Created: Tue Aug 7 11:58:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95dy42/how_do_i_get_a_flat_stomach_in_a_week/
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Guys I start school in a week and I really want a flat stomach, advice?
just got peach
/u/kurtisskinny
Created: Tue Aug 7 11:50:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95dvfo/just_got_peach/
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@ kurtisskinny - add me lovelies (ļ½”āāæāļ½”āæ)
[Rant/Rave] People starting to notice
/u/dragaynite
Created: Tue Aug 7 11:50:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95dvd7/people_starting_to_notice/
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Iāve been heavily restricting/fasting and vigorous exercise lately. Itās taken a toll on my sleep, physically I look exhausted and mentally Iām so unfocused. My head hurts, I canāt focus, Iām so exhausted all the time but when I go to sleep I toss and turn and barely get any sleep before I have to wake up again and carry on.
My coworkers have started to notice Iām not as cheery or focused lately. One of them noticed that I never get food on my lunch breaks and has been watching me ever since. She even brought it up to our manager who asked me if I ate, and I said I just eat when I get home.
So these past two days Iāve binged. I didnāt count calories. I just binged. āHow can I have a problem if Iām eating all of this?ā Is my thought process. I hate myself for eating. I can feel everything inside me and Iām so mad that I ate all this junk.
Why canāt people just leave me alone? Iām not happy either way, but at least I didnāt want to scream and hurt myself when I was empty.
Does anyone else feel like their ED got worse after seeking help?
/u/robreinerismydad
Created: Tue Aug 7 11:31:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95dpic/does_anyone_else_feel_like_their_ed_got_worse/
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I have experienced a binge/restrict cycle since I was a freshman in high school (at least 14 years). Iāve done intermittent fasting, fasting, bingeing, diets, etc etc. I always kind of knew that the way I ate wasnāt normal. Food and weight are always, obsessively, on my mind. Finally last year I began seeing a therapist and being more open about it. I did group therapy and individual. Itās started to feel like talking about it has made it worse. Now another person, a professional, has told me I have an eating disorder. And that has made the ED voice get louder. Itās like, if I have an ED, I better act like it. Sometimes I feel like a poser bc Iām not obese, and Iām not underweight. Iāve never been hospitalized or purged. It feels like I have to prove I have an ED. I donāt know. Sometimes I wish I had never sought help. In learning what behaviors I should be practice, itās shed light on what I should not be doing. And all I want to do are those negative behaviors. Does that make any sense?
Body Positivity seems fake to me
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 103 | GW: 88]
Created: Tue Aug 7 11:25:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95dng5/body_positivity_seems_fake_to_me/
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Does someone else feel like that? I mean, there's people who accept themselves for what they are (can't relate), and it-s wonderful, but do not fucking tell me that '' you love your stretch marks'', that ''your fat belly is cute'' and "your acne makes you unique". PLEASE. If a fairy would come and grant these people their dream body, I BET they will not have stretch marks, excess fat or acne. Im happy for people who do not obsess over how they look and can live normally with their flaws, but it pisses me off when people lie about it.
[Rant/Rave] my stupid life sucks
/u/mylifeisajoke812
Created: Tue Aug 7 11:19:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95dlkp/my_stupid_life_sucks/
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so i went to a nutritionist and got diagnosed w exercise bulimia which was great. then she made me delete my fitness pal and handed me the exchanges meal plan which i was like cool. i was super motivated to recover and gain the necessary 15 pounds to try and get my period back and get on the right track before college. as soon as i deleted mfp all hell broke loose. binging like there was no tomorrow, probably 4-5k per day and now i just feel disgusting. itās been 2 weeks and iāve already gone from about 115 to 120 pounds. my bmi was 17.5 now iām already back to a normal weight. i feel like iāve lost everything i worked for and iām trying to go back to high restricting but iām so fucking hungry. extreme hunger scares me. and oh yeah iām also a lifeguard so i get to go to work everyday with my huge bloated stomach and have everyone see it. so all of my coworkers get a nice insiders look at bloating in recovery!!! and i donāt want to go off to college looking like a potato w 4 toothpicks sticking out of it. and have my roommates watch me gain weight. like ugh. iām stuck. and iāve already eaten 1500+ cals today and itās 1 pm. and OH YEAH iām forbidden to go to the gym or do any exercise now so iāve literally been trying to like SNEAK OUT OF THE HOUSE to exercise. which i canāt do. so i feel incredibly anxious every day that goes by that i canāt work out.
and i finally got a thigh gap but itās already gone.
sry wanted to get that off my chest guys.
tldr; trying to recover. extreme hunger making me go crazy. already gained 5 pounds and feel ugly. yay life.
[Rant/Rave] I Hate Food So Much
/u/almc879213
Created: Tue Aug 7 11:00:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95df77/i_hate_food_so_much/
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I wish I could look at food and not feel an overwhelming sense of disgust. Eating is the worst part of every day, but I work a very labor intensive job (lifting stretchers and moving patients) and have 24 hour shifts, so I have to eat to keep my strength up. Then I get home and some a joint late at night, and go overboard. All I want is to just be thin and dainty and not ever have to eat anything ever.
Everything about food is so gross to me though. I have to consume another living being to get my energy. I donāt want to kill or hurt anything ever, so to have to eat even plants just feels wrong... I wish I could be a plant and just photosynthesize.
Sorry for the rant, Iām just having a bad day :(
[Goal] Healthy Skinny Girl Diet Accountability
/u/maerynbird
Created: Tue Aug 7 10:40:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95d8zc/healthy_skinny_girl_diet_accountability/
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Hey yāall, this is going to be my HSGD accountability thread. Tbh i always thought this diet was super āana butterflyā and didnāt believe it but apparently this works for some people, fam. Iām at a 133.5 plateau and i exercise multiple times a week so i want to break it. I would like to drop to at least 129 lbs during this diet. Iām okay with giving this diet time to work. Since i will be eating under 1200 and my bmr is 1366 it is physically impossible for me to gain so fuck it, why not? I will be making some adjustments though.
1. I have to drink at least 40 out of my 66 oz of water before eating food.
2. I must eat between 1pm to 8pm (IF)
3. I will be counting calories from fruit, but not veg.
Let me know your experiences in the comments section šš
[Discussion] DAE Fear Reaching Their UGW?
/u/emmiinora [4ā11 | CW: 112 lbs | GW: 80 lbs | 18F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 10:29:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95d5ef/dae_fear_reaching_their_ugw/
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I know itās a sad and fucked up thing to say, but I feel like my ED gives me purpose. I have something to look forward to, when I go on the scale each day and watch the numbers slowly go down and down and down. I like seeing how much I can lose when I have the control and self-discipline, because itās the only thing I have control of anymore. Iām scared that once I reach my ugw Iāll have nothing to look forward to anymore. Maybe thatās why Iāve been bingeing and self-sabotaging, to prolong this journey of self-destruction. I hate this illness, but I feel like itās all I have anymore.
āSafeā brownie batter
/u/Poopoodemons [5ā1 | CW 96 | BMI 18.1 | GW 90]
Created: Tue Aug 7 10:25:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95d4ar/safe_brownie_batter/
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I just invented the best thing ever and I had to share with yāall. So I took a cup of the ājelloā sugar free chocolate pudding (60 cal) and mixed in a 1/2 scoop of chocolate protein powder (about 45 calls depending on what kind you use) and it tasted EXACTLY like brownie batter. You know that slightly gritty texture? The protein powder replicated it perfectly. Now Iām excited to try a vanilla version for ācake batterā
2/30 No Binge Challenge
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Tue Aug 7 10:18:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95d28j/230_no_binge_challenge/
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It's day 2 on the 30 day no binge challenge. Feeling pretty energized and hopeful that this will reset my mind and body when it comes to binging. I am a little scared for the weekend (that is where my binges usually take place), but am determined to stay on track. I think that by not restricting so heavily in the week, I will feel less deprived and therefore less likely to go overboard on Friday.
Stay tuned.
[Tip] just a lil Starbucks recipe
/u/lawsoflife [5'5'' | CW: 181 GW: 110 | -29 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 10:02:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95cx24/just_a_lil_starbucks_recipe/
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i work at a Starbucks and was experimenting today and came up with this low cal Frappuccino recipe!
ask for a:
-tall espresso Frappuccino with blonde shots
-extra almond milk (20 cal)
-one pump of base (55 cal)
-one pump of skinny mocha (10 cal)
-one pump of sugar free vanilla (0 cal)
comes out to ~85-90 cals and is sooo good especially for summer. and itās decently caffeinated lol
[Other] *muffled screams*
/u/MightyMuskrats [š5'2 | š | GW 115 | -17 | 22Fš]
Created: Tue Aug 7 09:44:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95cr6g/muffled_screams/
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https://i.redd.it/8mpoiwm4zoe11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] popcorn is so fucking hard to track.
/u/turdddburger
Created: Tue Aug 7 09:30:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95cmsg/popcorn_is_so_fucking_hard_to_track/
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i binged on popcorn last night and!!!! the struggle. ugh. the oil calories. the seasoning. the actual popcorn itself. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO CORRECTLY TRACK?? ffs. i just wanna die in a hole :(
[Discussion] Gum and other ED foods
/u/mellowyellowtop
Created: Tue Aug 7 09:23:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ckjo/gum_and_other_ed_foods/
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gum really helps me keep my anxiety low and also makes it easier for me to restrict. my favorite kind is extra spearmint gum. however, i'm getting kind of bored of it. anyone have other gum/ed food suggestions?
I posted here about my bf before and broke up with him today. should I treat myself?
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: binged]
Created: Tue Aug 7 09:17:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95citf/i_posted_here_about_my_bf_before_and_broke_up/
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I posted [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8rkvbb/my_boyfriend_doesnt_care_about_me_and_treats_me/) about my relationship problems before and everyone told me to break up with him. today we broke up for good and I should've done it earlier. I just loved him so much that I was willing to ignore everything he put me through in the past. from things like being extremely controlling, to him telling me I don't meet his expectations, to telling me his pc is more important than talking to me about my concerns, he has never apologized for anything or owned up to it. I've never met someone so bent on playing the victim and lacking introspection. I'm never dating a guy younger than me ever again. Not feeling too cut up about it. Should I treat myself and get a giant bowl of noodles?
[Help] DAE get jealous when they see how long people can fast for?
/u/n34543
Created: Tue Aug 7 09:11:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95cgns/dae_get_jealous_when_they_see_how_long_people_can/
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I could MAYBE fast for 18 hours tops. Like I usually try to do 16:8. But I see people who fast for days and I get SO jealous. How do y'all do it? I also break every fast with a binge because I have no self control so yeah. Any tips?
My doctor just told me: "You won't make it two semesters in medical school"
/u/Niamiaa [167cm|CW: 56.5 kg|20.26|GW: 50 kg|19F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 09:07:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95cfek/my_doctor_just_told_me_you_wont_make_it_two/
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I just got into medical school a little over a week ago and today I had an appointment with my doctor who knows about my disordered eating, to some extent at least. So she told me that if I didn't start eating more I wouldn't make it two semesters in medical school and that I needed to choose what was more important to me: university or loosing weight.
I know she didn't mean it in a malicious way and was trying to incentivise me to recover. My ED brain however saw it as a challenge and is now screaming for me to eat even less and keep loosing when I start school just to prove her wrong.
The worst thing about it all is that, rationally, I know she is right. I'm know that if I keep going like this it will ruin my chances of doing well in medical school but I don't think I'm strong enough to stop.
Sorry for the rant but I really just needed to vent somewhere.
Does anyone else do this??
/u/Xelaalba [165cm | CW52.4kg | 19.2 | GW 50kg | F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 09:05:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ceux/does_anyone_else_do_this/
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If i want a cookie, (regardless of if i'm trying to recover or not) I'll always just break off a tiiiiny piece of one, leave the rest in the cookie jar, and just eat that instead because a whole cookie is 'too much of a commitment' in my head. And with other food, does anyone else just break off little bits of it, instead of actually portioning it off and eating it like a normal person?? I do this with stuff like yogurt too, just eating 1 or 2 spoons and putting it back in the fridge. Sometimes I'll even try to convince myself that I ate the full thing just so I can not go back for the rest...that rarely works though.
It just hit me the other day while watching my non-disordered boyfriend eat these mini pastry things - he was just eating one after the other while I sat there thinking about how I'd eat 1/8th of a 45 calorie cookie and deliberate for 10 mins about having the rest of it... wew. I just wish I could either have the resolve not eat/taste this stuff at all or somehow feel okay about eating the whole thing, you know?
[Discussion] Anyone else struggling with protein macros?
/u/chezpajama
Created: Tue Aug 7 08:55:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95cbtb/anyone_else_struggling_with_protein_macros/
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I was looking over my macros in LoseIt and Iām just flat out awful with my protein / fat intake. Like I know Iām probably never going to be at the recommended, but I didnāt realize I was more in the 1/8th to 1/4 of recommended intake.
I eat mostly vegetarian out of preference, but Iāve been skipping my usual alternative proteins (chickpeas, seitan, tofu) because their calorie counts feel excessive to me.
Protein shakes / bars are also super calorie dense and most arenāt even enjoyable to eat.
I try to work out 5-7 days a week and some days I can barely hold a plank for ten seconds. I need to make changes, but Iām not sure how not to get upset that 1 container of mock chicken has 3 servings at 86 calories each and that 1 serving seems so small.
[Rant/Rave] Doing so well and I ruined it
/u/Internet_Soup
Created: Tue Aug 7 08:52:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95catw/doing_so_well_and_i_ruined_it/
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I've been doing fairly well with my weight loss with restricting but recently lots of friends and family events have come up that left me being forced to have meals with high calories cause I didn't want others to be suspicious.
I ate so much junk these past few days that I feel like shit and gained a bit of weight from it. Which triggered me and I've decided to restrict. Even though it's my sister's birthday I really don't want to eat anything that's high in calories. I feel like she'll notice and I'll ruin her birthday :(
[Tip] Low-fat yogurt
/u/Sergosass
Created: Tue Aug 7 08:50:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95cahe/lowfat_yogurt/
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If you happen to live in Poland and buy Bakoma plain yogurt, donāt buy the ālightā option. Itās 64 calories per 100g and the regular one is 58 per 100g
[Rant/Rave] Metamucil is my one true love
/u/philoqueen [5'7 | CW: 112 | BMI: 17.5 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 08:48:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95c9ta/metamucil_is_my_one_true_love/
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Thank you to whoever told me about it. I was starving, I drank a glass of it, I feel stuffed and have zero cravings whatsoever (45 cals is better than a 1000 cal binge). I left some in a glass to see what would happen, the glass was overflowing with a jello-like Metamucil pudding. It expands so much. It sounds nasty af but it was incredible. Plus the poops oh LORD no more runny laxative poops, no more tough post-carb-binge poops.
Just pure happiness.
[Discussion] What are your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to food?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine
Created: Tue Aug 7 08:29:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95c43j/what_are_your_strengths_and_weaknesses_when_it/
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My biggest weakness ever is sweet foodā namely whipped cream, chocolate sauce, ice cream, and any kind of cookie/cake/brownie.
ESPECIALLY the whipped cream and chocolate sauce. My lord.
Iāll convince myself that Iām only going to add a little squirt of chocolate sauce and a little spray of whipped cream to my iced coffee and the next thing you know, the bottles are completely empty. Itās unreal.
I also really like breads, especially hamburger rolls. And eggo waffles. Those are amazing too.
Despite my crippling weakness for sweet food, I am able to easily resist mostly anything else: fries, chips, pasta, peanut butter, rice, meat, etc. They just donāt have any appeal to me.
What are your strengths and weaknesses?
[Rant/Rave] Nothing in this world makes me more mad and makes me feel more disgusting than being hungry
/u/twelvefeeetdeep
Created: Tue Aug 7 08:04:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95bwsr/nothing_in_this_world_makes_me_more_mad_and_makes/
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[Rant/Rave] I Haven't Eaten in 32 Hours
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Tue Aug 7 08:03:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95bwji/i_havent_eaten_in_32_hours/
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I feel amazing. I feel light and empty and euphoric. I've been living on coffee and water. I've never fasted this long before. I'm really fucking proud of myself. A few days ago I weighed 95lbs after this stupid binge-restrict cycle. This morning, I weighed myself. 90 lbs. This. Is. Fucking. Amazing. (: aaaaaaah!!
But. You guys. I have to break this fast because I promised my boyfriend we'd go to this jamaican place he's been wanting to try. Ugh everything will be covered in sauce and it'll be high cal and I'm pretty fucking nervous but I want to make him happy... This will definitely have to be my OMAD because I am loving this 90lbs (:
Anyone know any low-cal Jamaican food ideas? š
[Help] I think Iām dying but nobody is doing anything. Very confused/scared/alone/lost.
/u/exhaustedstudent
Created: Tue Aug 7 08:02:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95bw78/i_think_im_dying_but_nobody_is_doing_anything/
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Iāve never been this unwell with my ED as an adult. I was severe in my teens for several years with numerous hospitalisations (forced upon me and hen put under guardianship) then recovered for a while. This relapse is getting unmanageable and my BMI just keeps dropping, I feel so weak and barely functioning, and it really feels out of my control now.
I guess now that Iām an adult itās not so easy to force treatment and thereās not much available for an affordable cost. It feels like nobody will help until I get even worse but my BMI is 15 now apparently so idk how much more severe it has to get. Itās not something that gets talked about, really, how help with this illness dries up once you turn 18.
Iām scared to do anything and I donāt want to see people and worry them or badly influence them. I havenāt seen my little brother in so long because I donāt want to upset or confuse him by having him see me in this state.
[Help] effectiveness of cheat days?
/u/sweaterbug
Created: Tue Aug 7 07:59:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95bvah/effectiveness_of_cheat_days/
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ive read that people have diet cheat days where they don't count calories for that day, and i'm wondering how effective 1 a week would be! the reason i ask is because its my dad's birthday on saturday and i'm looking for an excuse to have some cake lmao.
do cheat days work for u?
I want to be described as "gaunt."
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Tue Aug 7 07:58:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95bv2v/i_want_to_be_described_as_gaunt/
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[Rant/Rave] My mom brought a cake home "just because."
/u/AllAnchorsAway
Created: Tue Aug 7 07:58:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95bv0d/my_mom_brought_a_cake_home_just_because/
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It's a six inch round cake decorated like a fucking unicorn.
It looks so *fucking delicious* y'all.
I didn't eat any of it yesterday and was able to stay around 500 total calories. Partially because I've been so low energy that staying in bed sounded better than cake (*who have I become?*). I'm stuck between "if I only eat a few bites it won't be a binge and it'll cure my craving" and "I'm going to destroy that unicorn cake."
But this is why I'm fat now... because I had a childhood of my mom trying to buy my love with sweets.
[Rant/Rave] When will I stop looking fat?
/u/anxious_tea
Created: Tue Aug 7 07:40:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95bq03/when_will_i_stop_looking_fat/
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Iām 5ā1 and 103 lbs. I lost about 20 lbs since March and Iām only 2 lbs away from my GW. I feel like I should be a lot happier but honestly I donāt feel like I look any different.
When I touch my body, I can feel the weight loss. My double chin has almost disappeared, my jawline is sharper, my knees are bonier, my spine is a bit more prominent. These things comfort me and reassure me that Iām losing.
But then I look in the mirror, at my whole body, and honest to god I still see the exact same me 20 lbs ago. Literally no difference. My thighs are still so fat? My arms? My stomach??? How? Where am I losing fat because there is still so much fat all over me.
Whenever I see progress pics of people around my height and heavier, but clearly have a flat stomach, small waist, thigh gap, thin arms, I want to cry because I feel like Iāll never be able to get that no matter how much I lose. My stomach is a joke, I always look like I just binged even when I havenāt eaten anything.
Sorry for the rant, I just feel really down right now.
[Rant/Rave] Gettig upset about the side effects of laxative withdrawals and my boyfriend texts me this. Wtf.
/u/SensiblePizza
Created: Tue Aug 7 07:39:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95bpp2/gettig_upset_about_the_side_effects_of_laxative/
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https://i.redd.it/ute3enhwcoe11.jpg
When you're 24 hours into a fast and someone asks how you are
/u/pinkribbon007
Created: Tue Aug 7 07:11:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95bhyn/when_youre_24_hours_into_a_fast_and_someone_asks/
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https://i.redd.it/7js9rp0w7oe11.jpg
the upside of getting all 4 wisdom teeth out at once
/u/FeliCat [5'7 | CW 137 | GW 120]
Created: Tue Aug 7 06:52:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95bcxq/the_upside_of_getting_all_4_wisdom_teeth_out_at/
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They numbed me up so well that I literally cannot eat anything without it it dribbling down my chin for at least 12 hours! Guess who's fasting š
[Discussion] Binging and poop
/u/library-cat [5'6" | 132 | 21.3 | 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 06:46:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95bbb5/binging_and_poop/
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(TMI obviously but it seems like we're all obsessed with pooping here anyway soooo)
Whenever I haven't taken a shit in a couple of days I want to binge SO BADLY. My dumbass self justifies it like "Well you already feel contaminated and gross, why not make it WORSE? Wouldn't that be a fun and flirty timr?" On days when I actually go I feel much lighter and less likely to binge later in the day. It would at least make sense if binging cleared me out like it does for some people but nope it just....sits š Kill me
Am I the only one who does this? I haven't pooped in days and honestly my trash brain is telling me to binge because I feel shitty (lol ugh) anyway.
[Intro] A hello and an intro :)
/u/shaacat
Created: Tue Aug 7 06:43:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95baqe/a_hello_and_an_intro/
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Heyy
This is my first time posting here so I'm a bit nervous haha
I am currently 20 and have been struggling with disordered eating and other stuff for years. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder (anorexia) a couple years ago. I decided to recover and my eating got better for a while though I still relapsed a couple of times. My mental health has gotten really bad again recently and unfortunately I fell back into disordered eating.
I used to lurk here a couple years ago but stopped when I decided to recover. I guess I'm just looking for support and a place to talk about my ED with people and everyone here seems very kind and understanding :)
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend is my āthinspoā
/u/miserablemei
Created: Tue Aug 7 06:39:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95b9q9/my_boyfriend_is_my_thinspo/
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So, Iām a rather small girl. Iām 5ā2, size 5 feet but oh yeah Iām a whopping 156.6 pounds (from 165 so thank god weāre making progress). I always feel absolutely disgusting when I get intimate with my boyfriend whoās 5ā11 and 115 pounds. He doesnāt even purge or restrict or anything and all he does is cook and eat ALL the time. I feel terrible that all I can do is compare our bodies and just pray to my ancestral spirits to help me lose more weight. Itās even worse because when we met he told me his preference was for really skinny and tall girls, so I feel extra self conscious now. Heās been gone for a week visiting family and he wonāt be back until the end of the month and I feel like I have to starve myself to 140 so by time he gets back so he sees that Iām less disgusting. I just wish I could match up to him instead of never being able to eat when we go out and having to opt for a Diet Coke or water all the time. I feel like a total pig and a failure.
Sorry for the wall of text
[Rant/Rave] Getting a couple molars pulled today. Already had trouble eating for months because of a mix of "OWFUCKOWOWOW" and "Huh, was that the pretzel or my tooth?" If ever there was an ED diet, the "I'm missing two more molars and have to stick to soft foods for a while" diet sums it up.
/u/catamongthecrows [5'3" | CW:128.4 | GW:105 | BMI:23.37 | 27F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 06:16:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95b3x3/getting_a_couple_molars_pulled_today_already_had/
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I don't even purge, I always assumed I was safe from this side of the side effects. Years of malnutrition apparently isn't good for you either. Who knew? š
Take your vitamins, kiddies. Calcium is important.
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday August 07, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 7 06:10:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95b2ew/thinspo_tuesday_august_07_2018/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 07, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 7 06:10:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95b2cz/daily_food_diary_august_07_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for August 07, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] this isnāt ed related so delete if you gotta but i just feel like this is the only community i feel safe talking in
/u/isaezraa [165 | CW 55 | GW 50 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 05:34:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95au0j/this_isnt_ed_related_so_delete_if_you_gotta_but_i/
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in june my best friends left for an exchange program and since then Iāve become really good friends with this guy, I could obviously tell he had a little bit of a crush on me but nothing serious, so I casually dropped that I was gay (not bi like everyone thinks) and he took it fine, so I didnāt really think much more of it. Then last saturday at a party he wasnāt at,2 of his friends come up to me separately and let me know that he had/has a thing for me, I tell them I know and that its just a dumb crush and heās probably over it, neither of them think he knows Iām gay so thats at least telling me that they havenāt really talked to him about me much, so theyāre probably running of old news/assumptions and I forget about it. Theres another party this saturday and his house is free that weekend so me, his best friend, and his girlfriend (my best friend) are crashing at his place, my best friend tells me that her boyfriend reckons heās going
to try and get in with me while Iām drunk (Iāve said in the past that Iām gay in the same way some straight girls will make out with other chicks when their drunk, but I canāt remember if Iāve told him that) and I really fucking hope its not true. Iāve lost so many guy friends when they realise Iām not going to fuck them and it fucking hurts so bad because it means that Iām not good enough or funny enough or interesting enough to be friends with. I really like being friends with this guy, its like were the same person, and I donāt want to find out that heās just been pretending in an attempt to fuck me.
[Discussion] Do your safe foods ever become fear foods?
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7.5" | 110.4 | 16.91 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Tue Aug 7 05:31:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95at7r/do_your_safe_foods_ever_become_fear_foods/
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How often?
I swear it is every other week now that I stock up on a bunch of safe foods and within days I cant eat because I'm too afraid of a 120 calorie bag of broccoli. I have 5 of them in my freezer because those used to be part of my OMAD. I had to revert back to eating sugar free Jell-O because it's basically the only thing I actually feel safe eating and I ran out yesterday.
What do you do when you magically lose your safe foods?
[Discussion] what do you consider a binge???
/u/descarrilho [152cm | cw:34?? | bmi 15 | nb]
Created: Tue Aug 7 04:59:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ambs/what_do_you_consider_a_binge/
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for me it's whenever i eat until i'm really full, my stomach hurting or not. what about you??
I put the crisps back and didnt eat them!
/u/madeoneover
Created: Tue Aug 7 04:40:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95aihb/i_put_the_crisps_back_and_didnt_eat_them/
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Guys I'm so impressed with myself! Was in mid binge mode, and had already eaten two normal size packets of crisps, and wanted more so I grabbed my flatmates huge sharing bag, and was walking back to go eat them and watch telly and feel disgusting, and I just stopped and put them back!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
It's sad that I'm so impressed with myself rn, but this is a HUGE deal for me! I don't have to continue bingeing today, I can go get dressed and do my errands, I'm not trapped in my living room feeling miserable! It just took one action, to listen to the voice in my head shouting 'you don't have to eat these!' and my whole day has been given back to me. Success!
[Discussion] Idea: ProED group chat
/u/KH0SH3KH
Created: Tue Aug 7 04:35:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95ahn7/idea_proed_group_chat/
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Title says it all, why don't we set up a discord server or something? It'd be pretty cool in my opinion.
[Rant/Rave] Dissolvable Relationships: Just add an ED.
/u/MrsBluebeard [5'4" | 96 lbs. | 16.8 | UGW- 90 lbs. | Bee]
Created: Tue Aug 7 04:21:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95aeur/dissolvable_relationships_just_add_an_ed/
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I only think this is the right sub for posting since it's heavily related to my ED.
So recently I've been a "sugar baby," since I have mad student loan debt and spend a lot of money on fancy health food/b&p excursions. It's been really convenient this way as it's helped me pay the bills.
However during the time I started this also ended up in a new relationship. I mentioned it.to him, but didn't explicitly say it was what I was doing. Anyways, I got super drunk and he found out. He doesn't want to leave but is also torn up over the idea.
Look, I don't want to lose this guy. He's perfect and supports me getting better. Like he's unimaginably perfect. But he doesn't pay the bills. I feel like I'm always stuck at a crossroads between recovery and maintaining my ED. It's a literal nightmare.
[Rant/Rave] I Knew I Shouldnāt Have Weighed Myself
/u/_Pulltab_ [:karma: 5'7"| 26.7| -25.8 | F :karma:]
Created: Tue Aug 7 04:21:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95aer3/i_knew_i_shouldnt_have_weighed_myself/
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After 10+ days of eating 500-700 calories, very low carb (keto-ish and vegetarian) I moderately went off the deep in yesterday, ate more carbs than normal and had a total of 1550 calories. Like, right at my TDEE if Iām doing nothing all day.
Up 4.6 pounds this morning.
FFS.
I know itās not ārealā and I know itās not physically possible, but damn am I feeling all sorts of feels.
Guess Iāll go back to basically starving myself now.
[Goal] Holy shit Iām actually doing it
/u/onthewaydownnn [25F | 5'7" | ā¼ 30 lbs | ā½ 18 lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 7 04:04:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95abfj/holy_shit_im_actually_doing_it/
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Just hit 30 pounds lost this morning!!!! I didnāt realize until FitBit sent me my spiffy ā-30 Poundsā badge!
[168 to 138](https://imgur.com/a/eKnHQVV) - From April 16th to August 7th!
The first set pictures were when I was binging and purging multiple times a day. I was steadily gaining every day even though I was purging. Dehydrated, not sleeping, and working out constantly to try and ātake care of the food I couldnāt get up.ā
The second set of pictures is yesterday - Iāve had about 4 days between the before and during pictures where Iāve slipped up and gone CRAY. Some days less extreme that Iām not including in those 4 days. But my trend is definitely on the up and up. Iām intermittent fasting daily, running in the morning because I love it, eating pretty strict keto (mostly because I have Chronās and it seems to align well with what I can and canāt eat anyways.) Iāve started to utilize more extended fasts about 48-72 hours long and I canāt believe how powerful itās been.
I feel like I somehow blacked out and ended up where I thought Iād never been 4 months ago. I could honestly cry. I have more work to do, but looking at these photos makes me so proud of myself I canāt even stand it.
[Rant/Rave] Thinking Maybe Getting Help Was a Bad Idea
/u/o-rissa
Created: Tue Aug 7 03:59:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95aadn/thinking_maybe_getting_help_was_a_bad_idea/
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Goals from the dietitian last week were initially "weigh yourself only three times a week", and "increase to 1000" calories. Suddenly yesterday, it's "meal prep for three days" and "make sure you're eating at the same time every day".
First off, what? I can't even fathom what I'm going to eat when meal times come around, let alone three days in advance. Secondly, am I made out if money suddenly? Buying all that shit to store 5 meals worth abd THEN finding space to store it in my micro studio apartment kitchen? I don't even have space to "prep".
Also, I work a third shift job, I'm asleep all day (if I'm not scheduled at my other job which is a busy Cafe), I cram what food I can in when I am awake. Im not giving up precious sleep to adhere to this concept of eating at regular times. I don't have a regular job, let alone a regular schedule.
Its like they werent even listening when I was talking about my life. I'm debating just canceling all future appointments because this is just absurd and these expectations are unrealistic and adding more stress to an already stressful situation. I was so pissed at work that I threw up everything I brought into eat while I was there. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu
i purged 11 times in the past two days
/u/ImMissBrightside [5'2" | cw: 99 | gw: 90| 23f]
Created: Tue Aug 7 03:04:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95a06y/i_purged_11_times_in_the_past_two_days/
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a few days ago i got hospitalized for something stupid I did. when I got home I felt so sick that I just didnt eat for while. yesterday I finally did but I just felt horrible eating even the tiniest thing. So o purged, over and over again. I tried making a smoothie but I felt too full after. I tried eating literally just one apple, but I still threw it up. anything short of being painfully empty felt sickening
ive had a headache all day today. last night after like the 6th time I passed out when I got into the shower because of the steam. at one point I felt so exhausted from doing it that I fell over and didn't even know if I was able to get up. i can feel myself dying but I dont care anymore, if it happens it happens
[Rant/Rave] i just now realized grocery stores have online shopping bc we live in the future and iām a dumbass
/u/lucaaa7 [5ā8 | 128lb | 19.3 | -57lb | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 7 02:01:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/959pcp/i_just_now_realized_grocery_stores_have_online/
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so now iāve found a new way to torture myself - who needs to walk in a physical grocery store and look at all the food you canāt eat when you can just sit and scroll through their stock online and look at all the donuts that you arenāt allowed to have because youāre a fat disgusting whale :,-)
also, iām not sure how i didnāt know that grocery stores have websites too, like obviously they do, if i can go to target dot com and buy stuff why wouldnāt i be able to do the same for ralphās
What are some āweirdā things you eat now that you never used to eat?
/u/Jksaldf
Created: Tue Aug 7 01:35:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/959kn1/what_are_some_weird_things_you_eat_now_that_you/
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When Iām restricting I eat chicken stock, seaweed, shirataki noodle bolognaise and sugar free candy and drinks 24/7
Binged the whole month of July. Now Iām water/juice fasting until school starts.
/u/PomegranateObsessor
Created: Tue Aug 7 01:29:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/959jma/binged_the_whole_month_of_july_now_im_waterjuice/
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First of all, Iām so happy to have found this sub. I used to be at my GW. Iād get extra happy when I could get under some days but overall life was good. When you stop eating certain foods, you get into a sort of routine that helps. I still craved them but I was able to resist.
And then second semester of college, I started drinking a lot, which led to me eating a lot. I also donāt have any thin friends who motivated me to be thin myself. I was the thinnest anyways which made me slip and I started gaining weight.
I was miserable this summer. Iād barely leave & never wore nice clothes. Iād be so miserable. I recall two instances which I went to Taco Bell and ordered $20 of food. My weight hasnāt changed. It stayed at 120 which was the weight I was at before my junior year of high school which is when I began dieting & fasting. I was miserable then too.
No matter how much Iāve tried cutting back now, itās not going down. Iām still at 120. Iāve done juice cleanses before. I really want to get back to 107 before August 17th. Will a water cleanse help me get there? If not, I do have until August 25th. Preferably the 17th. Thereās someone Iām seeing that day that I want to feel at my best for. Iāve never done a water cleanse. Any tips?
Can't handle it
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Tue Aug 7 01:17:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/959hg5/cant_handle_it/
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Me and my boyfriend had a fight last night because I did something to hurt him. We talked it out and thankfully he forgave me.
To clear the air this morning he made pancakes with bacon and syrup.
I couldn't not eat it!
But now I feel so disgusting and guilty and gross. I've jumped full throttle back into this and I hate that I now care so much when just weeks ago it wouldn't have phased me.
Oh well, they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, which is lucky because it's going to be the only one.
[Rant/Rave] 'You look like you've lost weight' - My nan
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5 ft 4|118lb|GW: 110|20.20|Not Enough|Nonbinary]
Created: Tue Aug 7 01:00:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/959dwv/you_look_like_youve_lost_weight_my_nan/
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That was the first thing she said when she saw me, even though I made sure to wear a super comfy shirt (it was my girlfriend's so it's about 2-3 sizes to big but it's mine now) that hides my collarbones and baggy jeans as well. I lied and said I'd gained but it made me feel happy because I'd weighed myself a few hours beforehand and I'm 118 now š but I'm also scared she might clock on, the last time I saw her was over Xmas and I was 2lb heavier than I am now.
She also said that I'd barely eaten anything when I'd eaten a plain chicken burger and half of the chips that came with it. The look my girlfriend gave when I said I'd had a large breakfast was one that screamed 'Please eat more' because she knew I hadn't eaten.
I'm pretty happy that someone noticed my weight loss, unless my nan was just being nice. I also lied to my friend and said one of my issues was working on body image now I have a mirror so I can love myself without seeing ribs. I have a fucking full length mirror now guys I can check for a thigh gap more easily!
Sometimes I forget that itās not normal to have an ED
/u/celestinadine [5'2 | too much | 18F | š celestinadine]
Created: Tue Aug 7 00:50:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/959c08/sometimes_i_forget_that_its_not_normal_to_have_an/
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Wow, there really are people that exist that donāt think about food all day, that donāt hate the way their body looks, and donāt hate themselves for eating.
Thatās wild.
Have you ever gotten so bored of your disorder you just took a break from the adrenaline and anxiety of it?
/u/newforvevernever [5'6'' | CW 113.7 | GW 101 | WL 4 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 00:34:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9598r2/have_you_ever_gotten_so_bored_of_your_disorder/
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Today, after spending 3 hours c&s-ing (it's uhhh... an ongoing problem...) I reached for something to have another go at, and suddenly I felt... bored? I just thought, this is so boring, obsessing over food like this. All of this is useless. I was literally just so bored of it. And I stopped, and it was just such a relief to let go of this habit for a moment. Like, thank you brain for no longer giving me adrenaline or endorphins or a high or whatever happens to me physically and mentally from this, at least for a second. I've been stuck in this loop for so long. I know I'll reach for some other addictive food behavior soon again, or maybe the same thing, as it was only today. But damn, it was nice for my mind to release the grip for a moment.
y'alls i just had a tsp of breadcrumbs mixed with one poot of thousand island dressing and water
/u/prettyplease2468 [5'5 | CW: 111.2lb | BMI: 18.5 | GW: 107 | SW: 124 | 18F]
Created: Tue Aug 7 00:03:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9592nb/yalls_i_just_had_a_tsp_of_breadcrumbs_mixed_with/
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it was fucking delicious
tell me about your weird binge shit that was actually genius
[Rant/Rave] I binged for the first time in a week or so :(
/u/fweakybby [5ā5ā | 132| 22.0 | 68lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 23:43:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/958ym8/i_binged_for_the_first_time_in_a_week_or_so/
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Iām so annoyed at myself. Iāve been doing great. Then I fucked it up. It ended up being like 2,000 calories total for the day which isnāt my worst binge for sure, but Iāve been averaging 600 or so :( now Iām so bloated I look pregnant. I feel so gross and fat :( when I look in the mirror right now I feel like I look exactly like I did when I weighed 200 lbs. fuck.
[Help] Pleas, everybody, I need your help!!!
/u/BrieLew1011
Created: Mon Aug 6 23:09:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/958rov/pleas_everybody_i_need_your_help/
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Hey guys, so I am new to Reddit, so all of my old proana/promia posts were on Tumblr. Let me fill you in. I am 18, and all of my life, I have always had an eating disorder. I have had BED up until age 16 when I started developing anorexia. I lost 85lbs, and was put into an eating disorder clinic, being forced to eat everyday, when I usually only ate a saltine, and considered it a binge. Since then, I guess I fell out of the proana lifestyle, and I want back in. I need tips not to binge, and hopefully some meanspo. Please, the harsher, the better. My GW is 100lbs and I am unfortunately 200 right now. Here is a picture. Please point out anyplace I need to work on, and please, donāt hold back. I hate my body, and want to get back to my old beautiful one.
I just binged because my mom told me NOT to binge...
/u/ProbablyNeedGlasses
Created: Mon Aug 6 22:44:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/958m4a/i_just_binged_because_my_mom_told_me_not_to_binge/
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One of my personal flaws is wanting to just do the exact opposite of what people tell me.
I just returned home from a long day of work and a wrapped up a 30ish hour fast (just trying to get the hang of it, definitely want to learn to go longer).
I was so looking forward to getting home and enjoying a few handfuls of salted mixed nuts- my favorite thing! My parents were in the kitchen buzzing about, but I just needed a few minutes of alone time to decompress from work and snack peacefully. I quietly munched on my proportioned food, and my mom tells me āmaybe you should get a smaller bowl, you tend to binge on those nuts.ā
I. SNAPPED.
I was just so tired, hungry, and annoyed that I had āsavedā all day to have some nuts and then immediately Iām judged for having some. Yes, Iām the past Iāve had one handful too many (as has my mom, we call each other out when we see that behavior). But I had planned it all out, and I was going to enjoy some nuts before going to bed... but because I felt like I was being told what to do I just wanted to do the opposite so I binged!! Itās such a self fulfilling prophecy, mom tells me not to binge so I binge because she tells me not to binge.
Anyone else have this personality trait? I just want to learn to let other peopleās comments about my eating roll off my back and stop self sabotage like this.
[Discussion] DAE not factor their TDEE
/u/quinoaslut [5'4"| 110 | 18.9 | -10| Woman]
Created: Mon Aug 6 22:06:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/958cmz/dae_not_factor_their_tdee/
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I got a Fitbit that estimates the calories I burn but I just donāt factor the idea of a deficit being different for every body. Like regardless of what I burn through out the day- I just donāt trust those numbers and my own calorie calculations and whatever. I feel like if itās over 900-1000 Iāll gain/stay the same. Sub 900 Iām good. And I overestimate calories bc what is a serving size?? if Iām eating Iām eating till Iām full. I donāt even think about maintenance. Itās literally in my head, eat a little= lose, eat more= gain.
[Rant/Rave] im not fucking hungry
/u/inebulous
Created: Mon Aug 6 21:42:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95876g/im_not_fucking_hungry/
---
leave me the hell alone. i donāt care if i die. all iāve ever wanted was to die. i donāt want to get better. the hunger pains make me feel like iāve accomplished something. the missing period makes me feel delightful. the fact that i have to buy juniors clothing makes me feel fulfilled. i love it. all of it. i love how the first thing people notice or ever say about me is āsheās so thin.ā how classmates stare and say āoh my god, youāre so tiny! your thigh gap is enormous!ā how some even say, āyou have the perfect body.ā i love it so much. even when i canāt even stand in the shower because iām too weak, or if i get up too fast black spots cloud my vision and i get all dizzy. i even love those parts too.
i know exactly what iām doing to my body. and i donāt want to stop just yet. you canāt recover someone who doesnāt want to recover, so stop trying. i would rather die unhealthy but skinny & happy than healthy but fat & miserable. do you even have any idea what itās like? iāll kill myself before i reach over 100 pounds, thatās a promise. i love what iām doing, but do you know what i donāt? getting better.
i fucking hate when you nag at me every second, āyou need to eat!ā donāt you think i already fucking know that? i heard you the first time, bastard. it makes me so goddamn angry. my fists always shake and i hold my breath and roll my eyes. i am not a pig youāre fattening up to cook and eat later. so just stop. i know i need to eat, i just donāt fucking want to. i wonāt stop until iām dead. i donāt want to be saved and i donāt need to be.
so leave me the hell alone, because theyāre right when they say nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
[Help] Eating broccoli, strawberries, cauliflower, etc. has started causing me anxiety. Help?
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6.5" | 115ish | 18.3 | GW: 105 | F | LW: 109]
Created: Mon Aug 6 21:41:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9586vo/eating_broccoli_strawberries_cauliflower_etc_has/
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I'm afraid I'm going to start to spiraling. I just had 30cal per 2tbsp hummus with broccoli spears, something that I would have been so proud of myself for a year ago. Now, all I can think about is how the broccoli had 65 calories. The hummus had 60 calories. Then I had a 50cal flavored decaf coffee, which puts me at almost 200. And I feel so fat and large and guilty and I don't want to feel this way. Can someone just remind me that those choices WERE healthy or something? Speak some sanity to me? I'd really appreciate it.
A letter from your friendly neighborhood lurker
/u/aceetone
Created: Mon Aug 6 21:31:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9584ib/a_letter_from_your_friendly_neighborhood_lurker/
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I sort by new. I read all of your posts. Even though I don't know what to always say or what could possibly help, I am there. Silently reading. I have so much love for all of you struggling every single day and I want you to know there's someone out there thinking about you. This is so cheesy and dumb and I'm considering deleting this but I have so much guilt about not leaving enough comments. It breaks my heart to see posts with 0 replies.
[Rant/Rave] I binged for the first time in 4 months
/u/deadly_nightshaade [6'0 | 190 | 25.8 | -44 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 21:10:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/957zaa/i_binged_for_the_first_time_in_4_months/
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I'm fucking pissed, I have worked so hard and I had over 1300 calories when I've mostly been under 700 almost every day for the last 4 months.
But no, I got sick with a sore throat, barely eat and I started to feel better and my brains first response is "you should eat a large fatty fast food meal".
My diet has been vegetarian but I fucking ruined it today with chicken strips. I hate myself, i feel like I just need a fucking hug.
I tried to stop posting here after someone said I looked too normal and tried to direct me to a diet sub. I feel too fucked up to post anywhere else.
I ruined 4 fucking months of intermittent fasting and plant based eating over a fucking fever and light headedness. What the fuck is wrong with me
[Rant/Rave] What the hell?? Not a "real" diagnosis? I got the diagnosis before osfed existed...
/u/mittensmel
Created: Mon Aug 6 20:13:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/957kwp/what_the_hell_not_a_real_diagnosis_i_got_the/
---
https://i.redd.it/jmnvwp7iyke11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Trying to get back to it after 5 straight days of binging... I feel so fat
/u/IsAFailure [~5'6 | Last known weight: 107~]
Created: Mon Aug 6 19:45:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/957dgy/trying_to_get_back_to_it_after_5_straight_days_of/
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Went to a party and used the scale in their bathroom, it said I was back up to 113~.
I canāt even remember but I think of been binging since then.
[Rant/Rave] Heavy thoughts.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 88.6lbs| 14.2 | Male]
Created: Mon Aug 6 19:33:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/957ahe/heavy_thoughts/
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I had today off work, which I could justify resting (my intake yesterday was less than 900, I worked a 4.5 hour shift, and I work a 5 tomorrow), except I was also up for barely 12 hours (woke up at 9am, went to bed at 9pm, immediately after eating a largish meal (330kcal)), I only went to work, then back home, and it's been a few days since I've done any significant walking or activity. I'm having another spinach feta wrap (woo work bonus), my second or third one this week (shit ton of sodium and manufactured/processed af), with a stupid diet cherry 7up (ugh aspertame). Nevermind that the one thing off with my blood work is low sodium. I hate the feeling of sitting and eating. I know it's what I need; I'm thisclose to being put in hospital. I might be at 1200kcal today. That is good. I can't keep eating less and losing weight and going down this same road I keep following. But it's really scary and uncomfortable, and hard to accept that my body isn't picky right now, it just needs calories.
Blah blah thanks for the space to rant.
[Other] Ankle weights- yay or nay?
/u/PhoneWalletSanity [156cm/5'1.5| 100 lbs| 19.4| 18F| Exploring Recovery]
Created: Mon Aug 6 19:31:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/957a12/ankle_weights_yay_or_nay/
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As a small woman I burn a pitiful amount through walking (think 250 calories per 10000 steps) but I walk a lot and would like to maximise on that both from a fitness and caloric standpoint.
I thought about buying ankle weights that are normally used for people in rehab or training and just wearing them on a daily basis.
Does anyone have any experience with them or any warnings against doing so?
just stress-binged
/u/thindreaming [5'9 | 165 | +15 | 24F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 19:26:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9578m5/just_stressbinged/
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I have a 12 page research paper due tonight and I'm only halfway done so instead of hunkering down and doing it, I stress ate a can of tuna + mayo, a bowl of cereal, a trader joe's sriracha shrimp bowl, and a giant bowl of vanilla ice cream
WHY AM I LIKE THIS.
I have one more week of school until I'm done with undergrad and I can't focus on anything and I'm wasting my time binging. Gonna have to waste time purging now too
PSA: Kool-Aid 0 Calorie 0 Carb Watermelon Water Enhancer tastes identical to watermelon jolly ranchers
/u/Highoffempty [5'9 | 143.3 | GW: 120 | UGW: 108 | Lbs Lost: 16.7]
Created: Mon Aug 6 19:15:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9575rj/psa_koolaid_0_calorie_0_carb_watermelon_water/
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https://i.redd.it/suoghffxnke11.jpg
[Discussion] I had some advil that had a candy coating. Does it count as I broke my fast?
/u/Bleepbloopbroke [65|CW 121.4|GW 110|UGW 84|20.44|]
Created: Mon Aug 6 19:12:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95757t/i_had_some_advil_that_had_a_candy_coating_does_it/
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[Tip] Salt Water Flushes donāt work with food in your stomach.
/u/-Camellia-Sinensis-
Created: Mon Aug 6 19:11:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9574vr/salt_water_flushes_dont_work_with_food_in_your/
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Sincerely,
Bloated and Full of Unmoving Food and Salt Water
Does anybody here know what general ballpark BMI would be considered āskinnyā in Japan?
/u/blazeroftrails [5'6 | 117.7 lbs | GW 105]
Created: Mon Aug 6 19:11:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9574so/does_anybody_here_know_what_general_ballpark_bmi/
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Visiting family in the spring over there and just curious. I know Iām gonna stand out still because of my blonde hair and height but I at least want to be skinny.
Im a fucking mess.
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Mon Aug 6 19:08:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95740w/im_a_fucking_mess/
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I haven't eaten more than 300 calories in weeks, and I just purged a fucking rice cake holy shit I hate myself and this fucking disease. Please don't be me.
I found expensive pants I like but don't want then while I'm still losing weight
/u/Call_me_Cassius [5'5" | CW: š | GW: 98lb | -30lb | M21]
Created: Mon Aug 6 18:35:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/956vih/i_found_expensive_pants_i_like_but_dont_want_then/
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My mom is insistently taking me shopping because all my clothes are massive and I found a pair of jeans I actually really like? And like, they're even skinny jeans? But even on clearance they're $80 and I don't want to ask my mom to spend $80 on pants that hopefully won't fit in a month, and I can't shake the feeling that buying good clothes at this weight will jinx me with a plateau. But like also I love them and I want them help
[Help] Lookin for ED buddy
/u/almc879213
Created: Mon Aug 6 18:16:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/956qfl/lookin_for_ed_buddy/
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Hey yāall, Iāve been struggling with depression and anxiety for a few years. Itās eventually led to eating disorders, weight gain, and a few other issues. Iām trying to stop binging and go back to restricting, but I keep losing steam. Just hoping to find someone who can help keep me accountable, that I can help too.
Let me know if youāre interested. Love you guys š
[Tip] The Magic that is Liquid Chlorophyll
/u/PrettyPrettyTrini [5'6.5 | CW 175 | GW 135 | BMI 27.4 | WL 0 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 17:53:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/956k9x/the_magic_that_is_liquid_chlorophyll/
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So I learned of LC from a friend of mine's story, and decided to look it up. It has detoxifying effects, kills cancer cells, halts hunger indicators, and increases energy. I've been using it for a couple days/a week now and I feel wonderful, I feel less hungry, and I feel good knowing that it's preventing cancer at the same time. And it tastes pretty good (mint flavor), so i can drink it straight from the bottle.
Back here again
/u/PrettyPrettyTrini [5'6.5 | CW 175 | GW 135 | BMI 27.4 | WL 0 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 17:43:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/956hio/back_here_again/
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I had an ED when i was 15 and I lost control after going to college, and gained all the weight back plus more. I'm ready to get back to my LW which was 127. I have been trying to 'healthy diet' for a while now and I can never get it under control (binging) and I had the most self control when I was here. I don't want to say that this is the only option, I just can't stop thinking of going back. I felt so beautiful back then.
https://i.redd.it/09io39747ke11.jpg
[Discussion] Good music/playlists for dealing with all THIS
/u/bluebirdhall
Created: Mon Aug 6 17:36:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/956fqa/good_musicplaylists_for_dealing_with_all_this/
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I'm feeling really restless and reckless and shitty. If anyone has good music/playlists that help with the emptiness or disgust they feel as a result of their ED, please comment it.
goddamn i love black olives
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5ā8ā| CW: idk on purpose| BMI: obese |20F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 17:30:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/956e63/goddamn_i_love_black_olives/
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a whole can is 220kcal AND ITS SO GOOD
i fucking love olives
ABC Diet
/u/thinistheonlyway
Created: Mon Aug 6 17:29:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/956doj/abc_diet/
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Hey y'all
New account for my eating troubles.
Circumstances in my life have been less than optimal lately and I've been finding the ABC Diet a super straightforward way to restrict really, really hard. Starving myself takes my mind off things and gives me a structure. Like tomorrow is 300 calories, so I find low-calorie bagels and light cream cheese and buy raspberries and feel like I'm all over it. I don't know how long I can keep it up. My mother keeps telling me how much better I'm looking. I fit easily into pants I used to have to strain to button up. I can't help feeling like when - because it will happen eventually - when I lose the control that I have right now, everything that I'm hiding from by not eating right now is gonna hit me like a tidal wave.
Anyway. Thank you for reading. I'm not sure what I'm asking for. I hope some of you can relate and we can all feel a little closer.
[Rant/Rave] Somehow, I always justify binging
/u/n34543
Created: Mon Aug 6 17:06:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95674v/somehow_i_always_justify_binging/
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I just wanna rant.
EVERY FUCKING TIME IM IN MY HOUSE I JUSTIFY BINGING. I'm vegan and I'm also fairly athletic so I need to make sure I get protein. Plus I like my body best when I have some muscle definition and I'm terrified of being skinny fat. I don't want to be too bony but also don't want to be bulky. I tell myself this but I ALWAYS FUCKING BINGE IM SO FUCKING ANNOYED. I binge on chickpeas, chickpeas, black beans, and protein bars. So basically all the things I get protein from. Should I just give up on trying to get protein?? I hate that I can't control myself. Rant over.
snacks that don't need to be refrigerated?
/u/VegetableToe
Created: Mon Aug 6 16:59:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95656q/snacks_that_dont_need_to_be_refrigerated/
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Hi y'all, I will definitely search the sidebar too, but what do y'all keep as snacks that don't need to be refrigerated BUT actually keep your stomach from growling? I'm going to be a professional conference next week and need ideas so my stomach doesn't roll over in a session. ;)
In the past I've stocked up on quest bars and bananas (there are always free bananas in the hotel). I won't have access to fridge during the day, so my usual yogurt snacks won't work. Any other ideas? TIA!
PSA: Crying burns 1.3 calories a minute.
/u/800goat [5'6"| CW: 129 | 20.8 | GW: 106 | M]
Created: Mon Aug 6 16:55:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95640u/psa_crying_burns_13_calories_a_minute/
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My new additional workout is a 1 hour cry per day to burn off a good 78 cals
[Discussion] Anyone else struggle with the mentality that you either do it perfectly or not at all?
/u/prettyplease2468 [5'5 | CW: 111.2lb | BMI: 18.5 | GW: 107 | SW: 124 | 18F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 16:41:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/955zxy/anyone_else_struggle_with_the_mentality_that_you/
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Really struggling right now with this mentality with exercise actually. I know the best way to build muscle is weightlifting but I don't have access to a gym or weights at home so I'm waiting until I'm back at university to exercise because either I exercise the ideal way or not at all...lol y am i like this.
[Rant/Rave] I've been in search for an ED friend on Craigslist. Here are the results.
/u/Firerose157 [5'4" | 110 | 18.9 | hw 146 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 16:27:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/955vvy/ive_been_in_search_for_an_ed_friend_on_craigslist/
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https://imgur.com/a/bHdTSAg
[Rant/Rave] Sad and defeated ranting lol
/u/throwawaybaby401
Created: Mon Aug 6 16:19:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/955tnw/sad_and_defeated_ranting_lol/
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I have no control of my life anymore so staring is the most direct and effective coping pattern if Iām being honest. The extremity of my situation calls for something that makes me feel like I own my life, makes me feel like I am becoming so attractive, and is harming me to some extent. I really absolutely hate my life and what it has become. I am never going to win, so there is no point. I absolutely hate myself, everything is a scam. Never trust a god damn soul. Ever. I truly feel like I can never trust anybody again. Most people in this world are assholes who thrive off the stupidest shit. Hey, one day we are all going to be hideous. Iām tired of people who are living in a different sort of world setting beauty standards. Normal peopleās lives arenāt being beautiful and attractive. There are actually much more fulfilling things out there than colored dust and perfect eyebrows. Almost beauty youtubers are nice but are promoting a certain brand of self hatred. And yeah, I shouldnāt watch it if I donāt want to feel insulted for being inadequate in everywhere... I just feel bad for the 12 and 13 year olds who get sucked into the beauty community because it can become their whole world, and they continually chase this sort of validation, though at times makeup and clothes are truly and art. I was one of those girls and now Iām so unhappy with my appearance and everything about myself truly. Makeup has lost all of its expressional qualities as it has transformed its self into the only thing that can makes me a respectable human being in some eyes. I hate myself and my stupid fucking life.
MY BULLSHIT JUST COST ME 20 FUCKING EUROS
/u/Bookeisha
Created: Mon Aug 6 16:03:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/955oxd/my_bullshit_just_cost_me_20_fucking_euros/
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Just realised I lost the 20 euros I had inside my pocket and I'm so mad and disappointed
I have a hard time with spending money or any sort of waste in general so this is pretty devastating right now. I'm so stupid. The fact that this was thr money my mom gave me makes me feel even more guilty š
All that because I thought getting chinese takeout at 10 fucking PM was a good idea?! Worst is I wasn't even hungry !!!! The place was closed so I figured I could go for a walk instead, which lasted 40 min around the city. So my money could be anywhere - and it's not in the stairs of my building or in my street I've checked.
I knew I shouldn't have gone since I wasn't even hungry to start with. Ugh
[Rant/Rave] Wanna die rn
/u/Baby-Baphomet [BMI: 23.1 | GW:20 bmi | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 16:02:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/955ogr/wanna_die_rn/
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I locked myself out of my apartment -_- so I called my bf to come get me
He only had an hour left at work and said I should come hang out with him for the rest of his shift (he works at a gym)
I go and he says the new girl happened to be there working to she covered for him real quick. I asked if he thought she was cute, he said no she's kind of toothpick-y
We get here and she literally is the size I wish I was and am working towards. Not overly skinny, just slender. She's a cute Asian girl and I just want to D. I. E.
Like I was going to eat lunch but yeah nevermind
The jealousy is real, why am I like this šš
Possible TMI: question about period loss
/u/800goat [5'6"| CW: 129 | 20.8 | GW: 106 | M]
Created: Mon Aug 6 16:00:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/955nwg/possible_tmi_question_about_period_loss/
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(I know my flair says male; I'm a trans man pre-hormones) Mine is at least 2 weeks late. And I'm really confused because I actually gained like 7 pounds last month and now my BMI is like 22. I went through a binge/fast kind of thing so I'm wondering if this is common after weight gain or binge/restrict cycles? Or if it's happened to other people? My life's been rough lately so it might be stress. I thought you could only lose your period from rapid weight loss or overexcersize.
It's past time for me to stop bingeing (again).
/u/GemRocking [14F | Current: 5'4" 142 lb BMI 24.4 | Goal: 110 lb BMI 18.9]
Created: Mon Aug 6 15:59:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/955nl0/its_past_time_for_me_to_stop_bingeing_again/
---
I eat compulsively; I'm literally *one pound* away from being overweight right now. I hate myself for it. I've always had excuses for continuing to overeat, to eat in secret, etc. For a long time I was afraid that losing weight would reduce the width of my shoulders or make me look more willowy--I don't want to look more effeminate than I already do. But obviously that's bullshit; I look so effeminate now because I have curves and tits and a squishy stomach and girly thighs (I love all of those are things, I just hate them on myself).
I have to learn self-control. I've made myself throw up a couple times in the past few weeks, which I'd never done before. **I don't want to get in the habit of purging.** Eating this way makes me forget my problems for a little while, but immediately afterwords I hate myself. I hate being a creepy, ugly, fat dyke with zero self-restraint.
But when I *do* stop eating, I feel sharp, like I'm actually worthy of the people I love. I'm on the way to look decent for once, without rounded cheeks and flabby arms.
Anyway, I've overeaten especially this week. Lots of high-calorie shit, sugary drinks, dessert, starches. I had 8 chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast and two pieces of cake after lunch. It's just fucking horrible. But my mom's been on a rigorous diet for months and my dad's starting a diet now to try and lose weight, and even my brother is eating less, and I'm far too ashamed of myself to keep this up. I want to make myself throw up again, and it's taking a lot for me to resist the urge. I've just got to stop eating.
In the past, I've always had to count calories to keep myself from eating excessively. I can't decide whether to try 1,200/day for a while, or go with under 1,000 to start out. Wish me luck tho, I need it. I to lose like 37 pounds. :[
[Rant/Rave] something wholesome
/u/cottonlung [5'10 | 161 | 22.5 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 15:40:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/955hv1/something_wholesome/
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https://i.redd.it/e37hpittlje11.jpg
[Help] I think my coworker knows I have an ED
/u/Fatalope [Height 5'4 | CW 136 | GW 104 | HW 168 | 21 F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 15:30:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/955epy/i_think_my_coworker_knows_i_have_an_ed/
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So I recently moved and transferred from one location to another one with my work. At the old place they were weird about diet sodas (aspartame gasp!) But everyone was always dieting so no one batted an eye at me eating... or well... not eating.
Here, there is one full time person, who I spend most of my time with (because I'm actually useful unlike some of the other part time people) and she was quizzing me on what I eat, when i eat etc. Total third degree. I lied (shocker right) and said I try to stick to OMAD and am planning on eating when I get home. And I normally do.
Aaanndd you can tell she totally didnt believe me šŖ I'm fucked.
[Rant/Rave] I am out of control
/u/hidesnducks
Created: Mon Aug 6 15:15:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/955a4g/i_am_out_of_control/
---
I cant stop binging and it killing me how much weight I am gaining. Right now I am at 40 lbs gained and it is like every bit of discipline I had is gone. Damn it! I am going to lose the binge weight and be halfway to my goal by December. I may have started the year as a fat fuck but I am going to be less of a fat fuck by the time January rolls around.
[Discussion] DAE love to cook or bake?
/u/putridaffection [5'0 | CW š | GW š„ | 29F | š mochiqueen]
Created: Mon Aug 6 15:12:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95596g/dae_love_to_cook_or_bake/
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i wish i didnāt but i do. i enjoy cooking but baking is what iām really good at. when someone in my family has a birthday party they almost always ask me to make the cake. i always have some kind of dessert in the fridge for my husband. my favorite things to bake are pies because i think the crust relies on personal technique. also they can be tricky so when one comes out better than usual iām super proud of it
i know this post sounds a little masturbatory but i feel like in a world where i canāt even get my own fucking eating disorder right i have to celebrate my victories where i can
do you like to cook, bake, homebrew or otherwise make edible things? whatās your favorite thing to make? how does having an eating disorder help or hinder it?
[Help] How to fake eating???
/u/netflixandnothing [156cm | SW: 64.1 | CW: 57.7kg | GW: 50kg | WL 6.2kg | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 14:39:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/954z6l/how_to_fake_eating/
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I don't see my flatmates often and people at work don't care, so I have no problem eating 500 cal a day without anyone noticing.
But my friend is coming to stay for two weeks and she definitely will. I think she's going to want to eat out a lot and have dinner and everything, which will be more than my whole daily intake in one meal.
I can get away with skipping breakfast cause of my medication, but I think I'll have to fast during work and have a real dinner so she doesn't notice. I have no idea what I'll do about weekends though cause that's two meals.
Ahhh Idk what to do. I don't want to ruin my progress. If anyone has any tips? x
Wow.
/u/warmcorgi53
Created: Mon Aug 6 14:36:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/954y49/wow/
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https://i.redd.it/na69j6cdaje11.jpg
How often to replace electrolytes?
/u/LumosMegan
Created: Mon Aug 6 14:28:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/954vk6/how_often_to_replace_electrolytes/
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Iām currently purging at least once a day, often twice. I ordered some electrolyte tablets. How often should I take them?
[Thinspo] Need some thinspo - help!
/u/invincibletitan33 [5'4.5 | 52kg | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 14:26:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/954uy1/need_some_thinspo_help/
---
Thought I was doing well today, weighed myself this morning, am 53kg and it's sharkweek so I guess that explains some bloat.
And for dinner instead of stuffing my face with a whole pizza, I just had half and told my mum I'd have rest for lunch at work tomorrow.
Then my mum started saying how the daughter of our next door neighbour (who's a couple of years younger than me) is "getting really thin now" and losing lots of weight. I just said 'mmhmm' but inside it was triggering af.
Then I added all my calories up for the day and I'm way way over my limit. FML. Just wanna purge or starve for the rest of the month now.
Please comment your go to thinspo, as I reaaally need some inspiration to stop eating.
[Goal] How much weight do you normally lose a week (if everything goes well)
/u/lupoverde
Created: Mon Aug 6 14:03:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/954njh/how_much_weight_do_you_normally_lose_a_week_if/
---
Basically I wanna work out a little motivation goal for myself. I worked out that if I lose 3lbs a week then that's like 27lbs in 2 months which is so much weight in such little time! But I wondered if that's actually realistic? So, what kind of diet do you have and how much do you lose on a "good week"?
[Rant/Rave] I feel disgusting
/u/swankarma [5'5 | CW: 126 | 20.9 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 13:47:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/954icm/i_feel_disgusting/
---
Today, my ED seemed to have disappeared and i could eat whatever i wanted, so i proceeded to shovel everything in sight into my mouth like an animal.
After finishing my grand finale, which was cherry ice cream wrapped in a waffle and slathered with Nutella and a mountain of marshmallows, my ED āwoke upā and i felt like a disgusting pig with no self control.
After drowning in guilt, my brain came up with the brilliant idea of purging the ice cream, but i was unsuccessful, and snapped out of it, and as a result of that i felt even more disgusting.
I hate everything. I hate my ED. Im so nauseous and i feel so gross.
[Goal] I ate nothing today!
/u/arteww
Created: Mon Aug 6 13:46:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/954i2q/i_ate_nothing_today/
---
I'm so happy and satisfied with myself! I haven't eaten a thing today! Okay, I ended up drinking a cup of coffee at a friend's house so there were a few calories, but otherwise I've just drunk 2 litres of Pepsi Max and taken one ibuprofen for the headache (from not eating). I feel so good and I am so happy.
I know this is not wise behavior and I'll probably regret this once the bad cravings start, but at this exact moment I feel awesome. I'm going on a work trip tomorrow with joint meals so I have to eat tomorrow, but at the moment that feels completely fine as I haven't eaten anything today.
I don't remember the last time I didn't eat anything for the whole day, yayyy!
[Rant/Rave] Binged
/u/sylas69 [5ā4 | 118 lbs | 20.25 | f]
Created: Mon Aug 6 13:40:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/954g7e/binged/
---
Iām so fat and I hate myself and I hate this body and I just binged so many fucking calories. People who donāt have a negative body image are so lucky because I can never be at peace with myself, I always feel like my mind and my body are at war.
I relapsed
/u/sad_skelly [5'8"|125lbs| F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 13:34:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/954eck/i_relapsed/
---
I woke up today, weighed myself, got a low weight, and was so happy, resolute to stick to 1200 calories today.
I hit 1200 a bit too early and got so hungry so I figured a bit of extra food wouldn't be so bad.
I finished chewing the biscuit, felt regret, grabbed a bottle of water and purged til I tasted acid.
Fuck me.
I was wanting a milkshake and came up with something delicious...
/u/Golddustwomanstusk
Created: Mon Aug 6 13:04:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9544wu/i_was_wanting_a_milkshake_and_came_up_with/
---
So I put a half pint of the candy bar flavor of halo top (180 calories) and 1 small bottle of chocolate almond milk (100 calories) into my blender and it was heaven! Considering the average milkshake is around 700+ calories at that size itās pretty darn good! I think I came up with a new go-to dessert. The flavor was delicious!!
[Discussion] DAE have Fear food turned safe food?
/u/Cactuseye [5'1.5 /5'2| CW 156 | overweight | -7 | F:sloth:]
Created: Mon Aug 6 12:24:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/953sa0/dae_have_fear_food_turned_safe_food/
---
I grew up with a mom who was on and off low carb of various sorts, I always heard how "horrible" carbs were, How unnecessary they are ect. So to me low carb=diet food, That's how It started and how I ended up binging my mind off. This relapse it happened out of no where and I started eating 600 calories with toast at every meal, With the idea I'd go low carb again. But something weird happened to where I actually feel better and have more energy on moderate carbs? I mean I feel like if I have fruit/oatmeal/toast ect It'll end up being more sustainable and I'm still losing, Carbs don't make me binge apparently but low carb does...Hmm
"You're not naturally skinny, you're just starving yourself. You will gain all the weight back. Believe me!"
/u/BarrysGun
Created: Mon Aug 6 12:22:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/953rha/youre_not_naturally_skinny_youre_just_starving/
---
What exactly is a naturally skinny person anyway?
[Rant/Rave] So grossed out, never want to eat again
/u/damnitjanet6 [5"5'| hellbeast | BMI 28 | -28lbs | 20f]
Created: Mon Aug 6 12:20:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/953qzz/so_grossed_out_never_want_to_eat_again/
---
So I was planning on doing OMAD today, just eating when I get home from work, after doing a two hour walk. But that's fully just gone out of the window. My entire body just feels all prickly and hot and anxious.
On the way back from work I was at the bus station and this guy came up and started singing at me. He was clearly a bit out of it, so I just tried not to engage but the woman next to me was really finding him hilarious and egging him on. He started following me when I left to go get my bus, and as I was about to get on he grabbed my arm and kissed me on the cheek. He literally left a smear of drool on my face. I'm autistic with sensory issues and this has set me off so so so bad holy shit I washed my face but I still don't feel clean I feel so gross and crusty haha. So I got on the bus and he told me he would wait for me there tomorrow. He was banging on the window as the bus drove off and blowing kisses, and singing some old song about being in love.
I just hate this feeling. I hate that my body attracts this kind of attention, I know I'm ugly as all fuck but because I have big boobs I tend to attract unwanted attention and it makes me feel so dirty and gross. I just want to hack my boobs off so that people stop staring at them haha I just never want anyone to touch me or look at me ever again.
When I get home I'm going to wash my face for like three hours and go to bed without eating. Everything feels unclean right now. Every texture feels wrong. I feel like I'm going to be sick. I can't even think about eating my OMAD even tho I've been thinking about it all day. Just want to starve until my body melts away and no one looks at me anymore.
Yogurt...I just can't
/u/tackettjessica23
Created: Mon Aug 6 11:54:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/953ie4/yogurti_just_cant/
---
Everyone loves yogurt but I had that creamy taste. I've tried a million times but it's so disgusting. I'll just stick to my rice cake...
There are days when I desire hunger above all else. I want to feel that empty gnawing in my gut because I know that my body is eating its fat.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Mon Aug 6 11:51:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/953hht/there_are_days_when_i_desire_hunger_above_all/
---
Other days, it consumes my every thought and I want to sleep and dream of food.
Caffeine gum & Monster
/u/Kaylawantstodie
Created: Mon Aug 6 11:17:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9536j9/caffeine_gum_monster/
---
When I fast I usually have this exception where Iāll eat caffeine gum and drink some monsters and right now thatās all Iāve really had and I would eat but I have to visit my sister soon and I havenāt seen her in 4 months so I want to be able to eat with her Saturday but I feel dizzy and I, having nosebleeds and Iām tired and hyper? Iām typing weirdly idk? I had a surgery for my heart in 7th (Iām in 10th now) and Iāve been having a lot of spells like I used to since Iāve been relapsing and Iām just so agh jittery and hurting but I donāt know what to do? Anyone got any recommendations Bc ya girl is dying ok Iāll be crying
[Rant/Rave] Fck
/u/lrgfrieschocoshake
Created: Mon Aug 6 11:14:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9535ks/fck/
---
Iāve been restricting to 300 calories a day for over a week. Yesterday I ate 540. Today Iām up .7lb????? What the actual fck? Iām devastated
[Discussion] DAE use nicotine gum/patches to reduce appetite?
/u/almc879213
Created: Mon Aug 6 10:58:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9530el/dae_use_nicotine_gumpatches_to_reduce_appetite/
---
I was recently giving this some thought. I donāt want to smoke cigarettes, because lung cancer, but I know that nicotine can decrease appetite. Iām curious about chewing the gum or using a patch, but unsure about how well that would work. Do any of yāall have experience with this?
[Goal] Weekly Calorie count
/u/Creative__Username__
Created: Mon Aug 6 10:47:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/952wzm/weekly_calorie_count/
---
So, I'm trying something a little different this week. Instead of a daily calorie cap, I'm doing a weekly. According to my TDEE, if I want to lose two pounds this week, I can eat a max of 3444 calories this week. So I'm just tracking for the week. It's actually a bit more motivating - I'm kinda "saving" calories for Saturday so I can have ice cream, lol. Has anyone else tried this? So far it's going pretty well as I have a "weekly budget" in mind whenever I eat now. Fingers crossed!
[Discussion] Does anybody actually feel full with water?
/u/daddysrexibabygirl
Created: Mon Aug 6 10:45:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/952whg/does_anybody_actually_feel_full_with_water/
---
I feel like if I drink a lot I'm bloated and slightly nauseas but drinking stuff like diet coke makes me feel satisfied and full. I can't deal with being nauseas and hungry all day but I'm trying to cut back on soda.
[Discussion] dae have like "binge" movies or tv shows
/u/apfrun
Created: Mon Aug 6 10:37:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/952tyn/dae_have_like_binge_movies_or_tv_shows/
---
Or even books. Things you can't read or watch without binging. For me it's parks and rec which sucks because that's one of my fave shows, but I'm so used to binging every single time Im watching it that it's hard to watch anymore. Then the movie Fantastic Beast And Where To Find Them, I can't watch that without strongly craving tacos because I ate tacos with mom whenever we watched that. Even this book series is hard to read becaus I'm so used to eating entire cans of Pringles when I read it
Ugh fuck my life
quick question that would get me in minor trouble on another sub on the topic of: fruit poops
/u/cortizonegnome [5'3" | 112 | 19.8 | GW 94 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 10:29:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/952ri3/quick_question_that_would_get_me_in_minor_trouble/
---
is fruit a laxative? b/c I love fruit but good god does it make me get the runs. also if something causes u to expel it out of ur butt in such a way do you still absorb the calories of said thing? b/c I feel it literally runs straight through me. Is it bad to keep eating so much fruit if it turns my tummy into a butter churner? or is this the world's greatest diet?
I wanted to surprise my boyfriend but body dysmorphia surprised me
/u/wannathrowyouaway
Created: Mon Aug 6 10:11:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/952lz5/i_wanted_to_surprise_my_boyfriend_but_body/
---
On mobile, can't flair.
My boyfriend and I are studying in different countries right now, and although I'm planning a visit soon, I wanted to "surprise" him with a strip tease.
First problem, I'm too awkward. I literally don't know how to move to be sexy. If you have any advice, let me know please.
Second problem, fuck, I'm too fat and my boobs look weird??
So here I am now, laying in bed and crying because I wanted to do something nice for him but it turned out shitty and I'll never let him see it. And now I never want to eat again. Maybe when I'm 10 kilos lighter it won't matter if I'm awkward, I'll be sexy anyway.
[Discussion] Going to try to EC stack for the first time.
/u/RedPlaidPanda
Created: Mon Aug 6 10:09:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/952lbp/going_to_try_to_ec_stack_for_the_first_time/
---
Iām so tired of binge eating and feeling guilty and disgusting. Iām getting desperate to make this binge cycle stop. I had never even heard of EC stacking until recently but I think I want to try it. I live in the US, in Indiana so I think I can buy bronkaid otc. Iām really nervous to ask for it though. I just read a post where someone was turned away and Iād probably have an anxiety attack if that happy one lol.
[Discussion] What are some of the most absurd foods youāve binged on?
/u/philoqueen [5'7 | CW: 112 | BMI: 17.5 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 09:38:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/952bgn/what_are_some_of_the_most_absurd_foods_youve/
---
For example, Iāve binged on countless cans of black beans with nutritional yeast and hot sauce on top. Iāve binged on 2 whole bulbs of roasted garlic (yes I know Iām disgusting).
What are some of the weirdest things youāve binged on?
[Other] Another ed fueled skelly
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Mon Aug 6 09:35:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/952aq2/another_ed_fueled_skelly/
---
https://i.redd.it/i0soedfnshe11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Annoyed at my roommate.
/u/EDthrowaway8888 [5'6 | CW 145.2 | BMI 23.3 | Weight Lost 20.6 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 09:19:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9525sy/annoyed_at_my_roommate/
---
Iāve only talked a little bit about my diet and weight loss with my roommate. But in general, I just donāt like talking about it much. Anyway, she made a comment yesterday about my diet since I ended up telling her Iām only eating one meal a day (after she kept offering me cashews and food while we were out). She asked me how much I wanted to lose, what I was eating, etc and I tried to be vague. Anyway, Iāve been noticing that she started dieting and exercising shortly after I started. She seems to copy me when I diet or get into exercise more diligently. I feel like she keeps asking me questions about my diet and exercise so she can match what Iām doing. Obviously if I see her copy me, I have to work harder because Iām not letting her win. I know itās petty, but damn it Iām a petty person sometimes. Sheās going with me on a beach holiday so I feel like thereās this unspoken competition between us. Iāve got an advantage that Iām about 3 inches taller though. Ha
Tell me your high restricting success stories
/u/subtleskeleton
Created: Mon Aug 6 09:14:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9524dg/tell_me_your_high_restricting_success_stories/
---
Iām keto, and a runner, and Iām trying not to fall completely down the rabbit hole. Pulled some drunkarexic shit all weekend and ate nothing but peanut butter and rum, and no weight loss. I have a ~1200 calorie day planned, which is like a 200cal deficit from what Iām burning today. Someone please tell me about a time a small ass deficit worked for you. It doesnāt feel like this is gonna do anything, and the urge to purge is STRONG.
[Discussion] Anyone else have a hard time going back home to visit your parents
/u/sunnshine67
Created: Mon Aug 6 08:47:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/951w8w/anyone_else_have_a_hard_time_going_back_home_to/
---
Im on a break from college right now and Iām visiting my parents for a week until the fall semester starts. Iām trying to fast for two nights to recover from a food intense weekend visiting my friend whoās bridesmaid I am, and there is so many stuff in the fridge I would never keep around because itās trigger for binging. Yaāll there is a 2 pound tub of cookie dough in the fridge and all I want to do is eat all of it. I love my parents but visiting them is hard because of how differently our kitchens are stocked
Just finished a weekend of binging...
/u/agent_philcoulson [27F 5'4" | CW: 132 | GW: 120 | UGW: 115]
Created: Mon Aug 6 08:44:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/951vei/just_finished_a_weekend_of_binging/
---
So. Much. Regret.
What have I done!? I'm going to the gym everyday this week. I'm afraid to step on the scale. I think I will avoid it this week.
UGH!
[Tip] Halo Top, Ā£2.50 at Tesco from tomorrow
/u/to105 [F, 22, 5'3", CW:52.3kg]
Created: Mon Aug 6 08:39:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/951txn/halo_top_250_at_tesco_from_tomorrow/
---
Itās only two flavours (vanilla bean and mint chip ) but, hopefully, someone likes those two!
Link for easy ordering: https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/299443421
How long have you fasted?
/u/leopanthers
Created: Mon Aug 6 07:43:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/951e15/how_long_have_you_fasted/
---
What was your experience?
[Help] Real talk: how soon can I see the "damage?"
/u/semperxvivum [5'6" | 127lbs | 20.5 BMI | -45lbs]
Created: Mon Aug 6 07:39:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/951cwr/real_talk_how_soon_can_i_see_the_damage/
---
In the course of normal digestion, how soon do you see the calories in the food you eat hitting your body?
Let's say I had a hypothetical cheesecake. I know the food waste is a factor, but at what point do I know what damage has been done, i.e. how the calories affected me and resulted in gaining?
If I fasted for the next few days, for example, at what point do I need to stop fearing the gain from the calories and just know it will steadily decrease again?
Not sure if this makes sense. Thanks!
Pineapple is now a bad food for me because I suck
/u/PM_ME_LADY_DICK
Created: Mon Aug 6 07:23:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9518u0/pineapple_is_now_a_bad_food_for_me_because_i_suck/
---
I now don't trust myself with pineapple because I had a weighted out amount of pineapple then suddenly my hands were shoving all the pineapple towards my face. Like before all the foods made sense because the bad ones where all high fat high calorie and really hard to control but pineapple really like sweetie hunny why? Anyways dose anyone else have bad foods that aren't high calorie?
Has anyone had success with restriction/not binging with Keto?
/u/dxylightt [short | 120-125? | GW: 90-95 |]
Created: Mon Aug 6 07:03:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9513hv/has_anyone_had_success_with_restrictionnot/
---
Keto is probably the only mainstream fad ādietā that I currently havenāt tried, and my binging ass is getting tired of watching the scale go up and up when last year it was going down. I know so many people swear by it, but honestly it somewhat confuses me. Using that much oil and butter in your food or eating that much greasy meat just sounds like itād make you tired and sluggish all the time.
To anybody has done Keto, is it actually the magic diet that everyone swears it to be? Iām mainly interested in it because everyone always talks about how it doesnāt make you as hungry, and that is something that I need.
[Help] "Take this medicine with food"
/u/metaphoric_mayhem [5'6" | cw: 115 | 18.64 | gw: 114 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 06:57:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95121f/take_this_medicine_with_food/
---
What kind of small food do you guys do when this happens? I've tried taking it without food and I become so nauseous I can't function. I know that I need to take these so I'm not gonna let this ED prevent me from doing it. I just don't know what to eat with it? I'm not good at just knowing anymore haha
Support for Overweight People With An ED
/u/fjrjcthb
Created: Mon Aug 6 06:51:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9510hz/support_for_overweight_people_with_an_ed/
---
So most support stuff for people with an ed us fir crazy skinny people. Iām not ready to recover yet but if anyone has like a group chat or something for this kind of person it would be greatly appreciated.
[Discussion] Making up for yesterday's mini binge
/u/CharlieJScarper [5'0.5" | 93.2lbs | 17.8 | FTM:cat_blep:]
Created: Mon Aug 6 06:49:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/95101f/making_up_for_yesterdays_mini_binge/
---
I was doing fine yesterday until about 6pm. I decided to make a few servings of veggie pasta at once so I could take some to work for lunch today. Obviously, that didn't happen and the rest disappeared into the endless pit of stomach as soon as it was cool enough to eat....so today I'm restricting down to 500 to start to make up for it.
I haven't had anything yet today and I don't plan to until about 2:30-3pm. I've planned the food I want to eat and I'm praying that the same thing won't happen again! Does anyone else do this? I hate always feeling like I'm 'making up' for overeating on other days...
Flying on an empty stomach
/u/gayandirresponsible [5'3" | CW 138 | HW 170 | LW 124 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 06:32:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/950vw5/flying_on_an_empty_stomach/
---
I recently flew to Austin and today I'm flying back home, about a three hour flight. I had the most upset stomach coming here as if I'd been fasting for days and during descend my jaw starting hurting like a bitch (probably not related but definitely didnt help). I dont want to fly empty again, but I'm terrified of what might be at the continental breakfast and how I wont be able to track the calories. I'm thinking if theres fruit to just have some of that, but I'm worried that since we're getting to the airport so early it wouldn't even matter and I'd just be wasting calories. Any advice?
(I'm on mobile so, sorry for the lack of flair)
favourite subreddits ?
/u/kmherg [5'2'' | CW: 116 GW: 98 | 23F | š marmarmar_]
Created: Mon Aug 6 06:30:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/950vab/favourite_subreddits/
---
i'm so happy i just discovered this sub. for years i relied on /r/fasting since i thought that was the closest ED related sub i could find.
so i'm wondering if im missing out on any other gems. ED related or not what are some of your favourite subs out there?
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! August 06, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 6 06:14:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/950rlf/weekly_stats_update_august_06_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for August 06, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 06, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 6 06:14:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/950rke/daily_food_diary_august_06_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 06, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] first bit of progress!
/u/sweaterbug
Created: Mon Aug 6 06:09:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/950qj8/first_bit_of_progress/
---
ive lost 1kg since starting my diet a few weeks ago and im so happy. im already feeling much more comfortable in my body ā¤ ive still gota long way 2 go tho aha
Tired of having to have the perfect eating situation and planning?
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Mon Aug 6 04:08:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9501jn/tired_of_having_to_have_the_perfect_eating/
---
I'm so annoyed by this. I plan what I eat a day or several days before, and like today, I freaked out when they didn't have that one muesli I wanted at the store and I had to get to another store and my time of heading was getting closer. It usually ends up with me buying food and planning meals and when it's time for them, I don't even want that stuff anymore. A few years ago, I barely had much food at home, I just went about my day and when I got hungry, I got to the store and had EXACTLY what I wanted. When my calories where getting too much for my liking, I just stopped for the day. I WISH SO MUCH to be spontanous like that again! But it also makes me a little nervous not to have enough food at home, or seeing something nice at the store, but not buying because maybe they won't have it the next time around? But hoarding food makes me crazy too, because I feel I 'have' to eat the things up I bought and I almost never want them a few days later. Ugh! HELP ME PLEASE :(
[Discussion] The scale is a lie?
/u/fjrjcthb
Created: Mon Aug 6 03:55:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94zz3i/the_scale_is_a_lie/
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The scale says Iāve gained weight but my clothes and getting smaller and according to my body checks Iām getting smaller. Whatās going on?
[Discussion] Best dumbbell exercises to burn calories
/u/fjrjcthb
Created: Mon Aug 6 03:49:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94zxyh/best_dumbbell_exercises_to_burn_calories/
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I have two 2.5kg dumbbells and one 8.5kg one that can be adjusted. Does anyone know any high cal burning exercises I can do with these?
[Discussion] Cals burned boxing?
/u/fjrjcthb
Created: Mon Aug 6 03:39:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94zw7b/cals_burned_boxing/
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I have a lightweight inflatable punching bag in my room. I can only find cals burned for heavy ones. Does anyone know?
[Discussion] DAE love work/school for the sole reason that no one can make you eat?
/u/radcherrywinter
Created: Mon Aug 6 03:38:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94zvyt/dae_love_workschool_for_the_sole_reason_that_no/
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When I'm home my boyfriends family always make these big meals and I feel like I'm wasting their money if I dont eat, or my boyfriend brings us crisps/chocolate to snack on watching a movie and he'll notice if I'm not eating.
At work I can force myself to drink loads of water and go for a walk on my breaks and not eat a thing... and then just tell my boyfriends family I've been snacking all day so I'm not up to dinner or I can go to sleep early to avoid eating. I was the same in school... I love the freedom of it!
Tomorrow I'm meeting my mum for lunch and I'm 100% gonna just buy her something and say I have a big dinner tonight. Feels great having this self control.
[Other] Pantry perfectionist
/u/angsty_unistudent
Created: Mon Aug 6 03:35:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94zvjv/pantry_perfectionist/
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My flatmate just caught me rearranging and watching my pantry shelves for a good twenty minutes. Awkward to have been noticed. Is anyone else obsessed with the way their food is arranged in the fridge and shelves? At any point in time I could tell you exactly where to find any product I own. Itās an art.
[Discussion] Cold Bath Limits?
/u/fjrjcthb
Created: Mon Aug 6 03:33:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94zuyb/cold_bath_limits/
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Would 1h cold bath 2h break 6x a day be safe for a teenage girl?
Fruit and vegetable "fast"
/u/emokittensTW
Created: Mon Aug 6 03:04:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94zptf/fruit_and_vegetable_fast/
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Has anyone been on a fruit and vegetable diet (where you only eat fruits, vegetables and drink water)
How long were you on it? What was your average calorie intake? I can't seem to restrict because whenever I do for a few days I cave in and binge.
[Discussion] Intimacy & EDās
/u/CrushedOats
Created: Mon Aug 6 02:15:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94zhtn/intimacy_eds/
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I was fooling around in the back of my car with a guy a couple days ago and he ended up putting his hand on my stomach. Everything went from hot and steamy to ice cold & I sorta just clammed up??! My stomach is just one of my trouble zones and having him touch it just made me freak out. I felt so awkward telling him to move off but I just couldnāt deal with him feeling me there!! Have any of you had a reaction to someone elseās touch like this?
Awkward experience
/u/rougoku [5'7" | CW: 136 & BMI: 21 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 01:41:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94zbjf/awkward_experience/
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I canāt tell anyone else about this but lol
I went to the pharmacy today very tentatively to buy bronkaid to try EC stacking
I was so nervous and embarrassed that when they asked me if Iād ever taken it before, I said it wasnāt for me
So the pharmacist like DRAMATICALLY refused to sell it to me and made a huge deal and I was sooooooooo embarrassed walking away, I felt like death
[Help] Started a gym membership today
/u/leftshoelauren [5'3"F | SW 185 | CW 157 | GW 110 | š tinyren]
Created: Mon Aug 6 01:20:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94z7jh/started_a_gym_membership_today/
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Iāve gone twice and itās my first day
Itās literally 2 minutes from my apartment and honestly Iām excited that Iāve started but I have SUCH a hard time working out as a means to lose weight because it doesnāt āweighā anything?
Like, if Iām on the treadmill at a 3 incline for an hour and a half, how can I *really* be sure how many calories Iām burning?
Restriction is easy because I can weigh food and see how much I weigh before/after a meal. Working out just doesnāt yield immediate numbers and it makes me feel like itās a waste of time (when I know itās obviously not)
Iāve just been doing cardio/treadmill and Iām horribly afraid itās going to give me either:
- stick legs and my top will remain fat
- or giant āmusclyā thighs (I do not want this)
Does anyone have any gym pointers for losing weight *evenly* and NOT gaining muscle mass? Iām just so afraid to touch weights because I donāt want to bulk up at all. Gyms are such a mf doozie.
[Help] PEACH!!
/u/descarrilho [152cm | cw:34?? | bmi 15 | nb]
Created: Mon Aug 6 01:13:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94z66v/peach/
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could we add eachother there?? have a lil group there just for chats and support?? i have a peach left to the cobwebs!!!
[Discussion] Does anyone find it harder to restrict after being "recovered" for so long?
/u/scornedcinnamon [4'11.5" | CW: 93 | 18.5 | GW: 80 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 6 00:29:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94yxow/does_anyone_find_it_harder_to_restrict_after/
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Hello everyone! After lurking for a while without an account, I thought I would make my first post.
I developed an eating disorder my freshman year of high school, lost like 20 pounds, and gained the weight back really quickly. I maintained this weight pretty much throughout high school. Freshman year of college, I gained the freshman 10 as a result of stress eating my feelings away past my hunger cues, which is pretty much a fuckton of weight for someone who isn't even five feet tall. I was fairly active and went to the gym 5-6 days a week, so I wonder how much I would have ballooned if I hadn't been as active. I have almost lost it and I want to get to an even lower GW, but I am struggling so so so much with mini-binges. Part of this I think stems from having followed "recovery" accounts for so long that promote minnie maud and eating a lot of high calorie foods and part of it is leftover emotional eating habits from school. I feel so ashamed that I restrict in public but go into my room and go to town on any snacks that I can get my hands on.
I have been trying to stay within 800-1000 a day with exercise 5-6 days a week, which is pretty much considered high restriction on this sub considering my height and sedentary lifestyle otherwise. However, the past few days, I have been eating 1600-2000, negating the progress I've made. My freshman year of high school, I found it so much easier to not binge out. I stalked my own MFP (lol) and saw that I was maybe eating 500-800 calories a day with some exercise, and I wasn't even tracking most of the time, but I was still able to lose 20 pounds in 3-4 months. I had really strict rules for myself back then, such as eating as low carb as possible and never eating past 6 pm. Now that I have read more about nutrition, I technically *know* how to lose weight. I just literally can't stop myself from grabbing the ice cream or chips that my parents have. And I *know* they're not even mine, I just feel out of control. I exercise a lot more now than I did in high school, but I can't outburpee all of the chips that I eat, leaving me in a binge-restrict cycle.
Has this shift happened to anyone the second time around? Feeling bloated and alone.
Sorry for the ramble lol I have a lot of thoughts
TLDR; losing weight in high school was so much easier using skewed nutrition methods. college loser is struggling with binging even with high restriction. sos.
[Help] Working in a restaurant, how do I convince my coworkers to stop giving me food?
/u/Doctordoomduck
Created: Sun Aug 5 23:58:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94yre6/working_in_a_restaurant_how_do_i_convince_my/
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Iām known as the bubbly fat order taker who answers the phones and does paperwork. I started 2 weeks ago. My coworkers are constantly asking me if I want food and thatās nice, but sometimes they physically bring me a prepared plate and I donāt know what to do. The head chef tonight brought me a massive slice of chocolate cake Unannounced and I had to say I was too busy to eat it. He was super disappointed. Any other ways to get them to stop?
just some monday morning positivity for u lovelies
/u/ItsAFetish [5'3" // recovered š»]
Created: Sun Aug 5 23:49:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ypl6/just_some_monday_morning_positivity_for_u_lovelies/
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ā¢ u are all wonderful
ā¢ everything is going to be okay
ā¢ ur gorgeous!! even if u just rolled outta bed with messy hair and an unwashed face -- beautiful !!
ā¢ do something kind for yourself today
ā¢ do something kind for someone else today!
ā¢ u matter and your presence is not overlooked in the world
ā¢ if ur having a god awful time -- look back on how many days u thought u would never survive but u did. ur so strong
ā¢ even if ur day doesn't go so well, try and get some rest tonight -- u deserve it
ā¢ stay hydrated !!!!!! take ur meds if u have em !!!!! super important
ā¢ i love u all and please have a good day šø
[Tip] PSA you all need this gum in your life.
/u/jazledisko
Created: Sun Aug 5 23:43:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94yoel/psa_you_all_need_this_gum_in_your_life/
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https://i.redd.it/sd63wyxyuee11.jpg
Not weighing myself
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Sun Aug 5 23:21:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94yk1q/not_weighing_myself/
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Even though we have a scales at my work in the kitchen I'm not going to weigh myself for the month of August.
All it does is trigger binges in me and I become to obsessed. How much weight have I gained after lunch? How much throughout the day? How much have I lost in the week etc etc
So instead, I'm going to do my fasts and deficits and just wait until the end of the month to see the results.
Does anyone else do this?
Look y'all I found a new "diet"
/u/philoqueen [5'7 | CW: 112 | BMI: 17.5 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 23:13:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94yihe/look_yall_i_found_a_new_diet/
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Apparently if we look at food porn between photos of absolutely horrifying and disgusting images, we will find those foods repulsive (lol).
[https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2015/08/07/429432925/disgust-diet-can-you-train-your-brain-to-recoil-at-fatty-foods](https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2015/08/07/429432925/disgust-diet-can-you-train-your-brain-to-recoil-at-fatty-foods)
[Rant/Rave] Caught my brother going down a similar road as I did...
/u/LemonsnRoses
Created: Sun Aug 5 23:00:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94yfo4/caught_my_brother_going_down_a_similar_road_as_i/
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I donāt know if this is the right forum or whatever, but i just donāt know where I can really share this with full context, ya know? Iām home for the weekend, and I caught my younger brother sneaking food in the middle of the night. Genetics sure are a bitch. I used to do the same thing, used to hoard food and sneak it at all times of the night. But our metabolisms are way different. I feel so bad for him, because everyone in my family think that a 160+ lb ten year old is big boned. No matter how much I try to reason with them, they just wave it off. It breaks my heart how he canāt run like the other kids, how heās picked on. When I was his age, I never picked on the fat kids, but they mystified me. I donāt blame the kids, I was obsessed with this one fat girl (and now I feel bad about it obviously, but I recognize that obsession as a clue to my future disorder and my already forming disordered thoughts) but I can only imagine what it feels like to be the object of āhow do you even get like thatā at only 10. I used to binge in private (still do), but didnāt get up to 160 until I was 15, and by then I was at my full height so it wasnāt that bad of a hindrance. He was sneaking cheese from the fridge and he did that flinch that we all know too well. The *āim sneaking food right now and I donāt want to get caught because itās embarrassingā* flinch. Just...poor kid, ya know? He over eats so much that he throws up sometimes. Heās the most extreme binge eater Iāve ever met in person, and heās just a kid. I weighed less than him when I started feeling like shit about myself enough to trigger my ed to develop, and I can only imagine what emotional baggage heāll have as an adult. I know that this isnāt really ed related, but it just makes me really sad.
Success/Fail
/u/schmabey
Created: Sun Aug 5 22:58:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94yf9s/successfail/
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Went to a wedding last night and got a handful of compliments about how good and happy I am looking - Iām two months post a huge breakup, eating very little and working out probably too much...On one hand it was great, especially bc a lot of people from high school were in town for the wedding, but on the other...if they only knew I had just skipped my period due to restricting š ugh all the messed up emotions of ED life
[Other] dunkin donuts will be the death of me BUT NOT TODAY HAH
/u/summerservice [5'2 | 185 | -15 | 19F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 22:56:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94yet5/dunkin_donuts_will_be_the_death_of_me_but_not/
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itās hot as shitttt. Iāve been craving a cookie dough frozen chocolate for a week, but itās 400+ cals and Iām being really careful. my mom asked me to go and get a coffee for her, and I figured Iād just cave and fill the craving even though I didnāt exactly have the space for it in my cals. I shamefully loaded it into MFP and drove there and...suddenly didnāt want it. it took me until I had the actual opportunity in front of me to realize it wasnāt worth how bad I felt. I didnāt order it, just got her coffee and came home and drank some flavored water instead. removing it on MFP felt soooo good.
also saved myself like $5! those things are so yummy but so sooo expensive. Iāll get one another time. :)
Still can't sleep
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Sun Aug 5 22:46:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94yctq/still_cant_sleep/
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I keep waking up in the night hungry or restless. I'm not usually a good sleeper but this is ridiculous.
I live wih mt boyfriend and I really don't want to fuck him off but my tossing and turning is getting to him.
It's Monday and I'm so exhausted from my awful nights sleep. I'm starving but don't feel like eating.
Fml
[Rant/Rave] existential rant
/u/goosegurl [5' 6" | 125 | 20.2 | -20 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 22:39:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ybbx/existential_rant/
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guys. what the FUCK is wrong with me
I have an orgo exam tomorrow morning that I am literally so unprepared for. Which wouldn't be too big of a deal except I already failed the first exam and would need an 80 on this one to pass. Did I mention this is my SECOND FUCKING TIME taking this class bc I also failed it last semester?? Did I also mention that if I fail this class again, I will have to drop my major, minor, AND concentration because it's a fucking requirement for everything. There goes my hope of going to get a PhD. What school would accept somebody who is so fucking stupid they failed a basic requirement TWICE.
I literally don't know what to do. This is the only thing I've ever really wanted to do and I fucked it up just like everything else. I've been so depressed and lazy and the only thing I care about is counting calories and reading about fucking diet tips. I've also gained 5 pounds in two days.
Why am I so fucking useless!!! I literally want to kill myself right now what is the fucking point if everything I work towards goes to shit. And it's my own fucking fault.
thanks for reading this far abt the creeping existential dread
tldr : here lies squidward's hopes and dreams (sorry for being so fucking dramatic all the time)
[Help] How do you know you have an ED?
/u/anxietygal27
Created: Sun Aug 5 22:31:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94y9kr/how_do_you_know_you_have_an_ed/
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How do you know you have a disorder or you are just dieting? I have been dieting for a little while and I'm worried its becoming disordered. So, how did you guys first know you had a problem?
[Help] Desperately need help with calories... my OCD is killing me with this.
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Sun Aug 5 22:29:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94y968/desperately_need_help_with_calories_my_ocd_is/
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Hey guys. So for the whole month of July Iāve been restricting to 100-500 calories a day. Sometimes I would eat 900 but burn it off. Anyways, I binged yesterday to probably 2,000 calories at the most :( I got so angry at myself and had a horrible episode- I was punching myself and felt out of control from the hatred and guilt. My parents wanted to take me to the hospital bc of how Iāve been acting.
I managed to burn off 900-1,000 calories on the elliptical for a few hours and now I want to fast today and maybe the next day too to counteract the binge and keep losing. So my Question is, will that help? Cancelling out the calories I ate and get back on track? My mind had been torturing me all day and I desperately need reassurance and help. Will I gain weight from this? Sounds impossible.. but Iām not a rational person at the moment. My Bmr hopefully isnāt too slow idk. It has been such a bad day. Love you guys <3 youāre all I have.
[Rant/Rave] PSA I discovered the most filling low cal. all day meal! This kicked my B/P cycle! Also a very short rant, because I hate the way I do life ahh!
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Sun Aug 5 22:29:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94y94k/psa_i_discovered_the_most_filling_low_cal_all_day/
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I have been in a deep depression due to a bad binge/purge cycle. I thought I looked way too emaciated and freaked out that I was dying. I felt like I was dying and seeing myself in photos others took I lost it. So yes, I decided to eat "normal" for a week which consisted of passing the fuck out after eating to digest....then you guessed, enter a binge/purge 5 days of hell. I freaked out and was like WTF was I thinking (I know I gained a few lbs, I feel like maybe 5 based on measurements!!! I want to die!. WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!! I want to go back!
I wont weight until I am back to 100...I was 98 two and a half weeks ago...I am so mad I did this. I was so close to my goal and I messed everything up.
Anywayyyyyy here is the great part!
I LOVE fruit but I HATE when I have to cut it up! I love pineapples and they are so cheap so I WILL cut those up but everything else I get is berries. I like easy foods that I can just grab and go or pick up a few to add to some oatmeal.
Trader Joe's sells a bag of pre-cut organic apple slices 80cals per serving: 280cals. for the ENTIRE BAG
I also bought a container of non-fat vanilla yogurt and 1 cup is 150 cals. to dip them in.
I ate a bag a day for the past two days and a small 300-400 cal. dinner.
Honestly guys it is sooooo much food and for only 450cals. It almost feels like a cheat meal or something since I can eat it all, it's healthy, and delicious with the yogurt!!!! It's like eating a bag of chips and dip but it's apples and yogurt!
Anyone looking to break a binge cycle I HIGHLY recommend this!
I have to get this restriction back in order! I hate so badly that I messed everything up! Ugghhhhh kill me!
?????
/u/miss-mu
Created: Sun Aug 5 22:17:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94y6i0/_/
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Do you ever just want to eat and yet you really donāt want to actually chew and swallow your food? Because this has become more and more of a problem for me as Iāve gotten older
[Help] After drinking so much coffee and prune juice I canāt shit without it
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Sun Aug 5 22:13:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94y5n7/after_drinking_so_much_coffee_and_prune_juice_i/
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Embarrassing, I know. Iām on vacation with no access to prune juice and little access to coffee. The coffee I did have didnāt help. I feel like my insides are messed up and now I canāt shit and Iām hella bloated. I need help. The last time i have to use the bathroom without prune juice and little coffee was in the inpatient unit and that took like 2 or 3 days. How can I fix this?
Why do I have to look like a lumpy booger
/u/glossboy [5'2 | CW:š· | GW:94 |-29 | š: glossboy]
Created: Sun Aug 5 21:49:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94y047/why_do_i_have_to_look_like_a_lumpy_booger/
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I have a dorito type body. This has got to be the strangest phase of my weight-loss. I'm like losing unevenly everywhere to the point where I can visibly see that my left calf is bigger than the other. But besides that point my arm is huge at the top but the weight at the bottom has obviously bounced so it looks like a weird chicken leg and same with my leg? It's like someone took a scoop out of the area near my knee caps. All I ever wanted were straight legs and proportioned arms to go with them thanks body.
[Rant/Rave] I really hate my body shape
/u/Cactuseye [5'1.5 /5'2| CW 156 | overweight | -7 | F:sloth:]
Created: Sun Aug 5 21:21:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94xtta/i_really_hate_my_body_shape/
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I'm like a pear, but an extremely disproportionate pear. From my rib cage up I'm very petite, narrow shoulders, 32 B, hardly any fat(Even overweight my ribs and collarbone stick out), Then down from there it's just all...Fat. All my weight sticks to my lower stomach/hip/thighs on top of wide set hips. My hips are like double the size of my boobs, It just looks so awkward when I'm heavy. I know losing weight won't fix my bone structure and it sucks, But I know around the 120s it looks a lot more in proportion at least. I can manage to wear all small then, But now I'm like a Small on top and a L on bottom. it's so bad.
Ugh sorry if this is irrelevant to this sub
[Rant/Rave] FML I just B/P and took laxatives. I have to work in the morning. Iām so stupid.
/u/RedPlaidPanda
Created: Sun Aug 5 21:18:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94xt45/fml_i_just_bp_and_took_laxatives_i_have_to_work/
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Probably TMI. Iām such a moron. I was doing awesome, Iām down 7 pounds in two weeks. Heavy restricting and my dumb ass broke and ate half a lasagna and like 5 dumplings. I felt so sick and so disgusting for binging so I purged until I thought my eyes would pop out and took laxatives even though I already had diarrhea. I have to go to work in the morning and I feel sick already. Itās going to be awful. I work at a Starbucks. Why am o such an Idiot??
[Help] For those in recovery, how do you cop with severe body image issues? (Warning: mentions of rape)
/u/ketometer
Created: Sun Aug 5 21:14:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94xs46/for_those_in_recovery_how_do_you_cop_with_severe/
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I feel so overwhelmed and I don't know where to turn to for help. Or if I can be helped. I have been on both sides of the eating disorder spectrum and I'm currently trying to lose weight because I'm very obese from using food as a primary coping skill.
So I have been obese since I was a toddler and developed anorexia when I was in high school due to bullying. When I went to college I gained a lot of weight and I was raped multiple times by a guy who told me my body was disgusting. This was five years ago, but a few months ago I had a flashback and it all came back to the surface and I haven't been emotionally stable since then. I'm in therapy and I have an appointment to discuss medication change next week but I don't know how to cope with distress in the meantime.
I hate my body. I hate that I am so disgusting that people have abused me all my life because of it. I feel like my body is a separate entity from me and I want to destroy it. I don't even want to lose weight, really. I want to no longer inhabit this body. I don't just hate the way my body looks; I hate what it has done to me. I hate the pain it has caused me. I don't want to live anymore because I want my body to suffer and rot in the ground for bringing so much harm to me.
Yesterday, I cried so hard that I threw up. I am in constant agony. Please please give me some idea of how I can survive this.
Boss asked me if I am doing drugs
/u/Ekawa [Height 5'3 | CW 115 | BMI 20.3| -50 |F/22]
Created: Sun Aug 5 21:07:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94xqff/boss_asked_me_if_i_am_doing_drugs/
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I work at a sushi place and we get free meals every shift and I never eat them there but I take a lot home and he said āyoure eating a lot but look thin, are you doing drugs?ā to which I was like āuhhh do I like like I do drugs??!ā And he said āyeah, and my wife said thatā or something and then I came to eat during dinner (wanted to visit my cute friend) which I ate then binged at home more and purged so I feel stupid and embarrassed and he must actually think I do drugs now
I DID IT
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Sun Aug 5 21:02:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94xp0c/i_did_it/
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July was the binge month from hell. I gained so much weight and literally couldnāt stop eating.
The last few days I ate around maintenance, but today I did OMAD + a drink from Starbucks. I stayed under my calorie goal.
Honestly only eating once was a god send, I got really full easily and still had room to get a latte with a friend. I havenāt had a day this successful in forever. Gaining weight has been so hard, but I feel like I am FINALLY getting my rhythm back. Itās such a small thing but I am so so elated.
Just got the new fitbit versa and itās the best thing ever, I highly recommend it!!
/u/Anaisdabomb
Created: Sun Aug 5 20:59:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94xoff/just_got_the_new_fitbit_versa_and_its_the_best/
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https://i.redd.it/z5llla1t1ee11.jpg
[Help] i just went through w my worst binge yet
/u/descarrilho [152cm | cw:34?? | bmi 15 | nb]
Created: Sun Aug 5 20:45:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94xl4n/i_just_went_through_w_my_worst_binge_yet/
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it's been a bender, since idk the 25th. today i just lost it. i ate meat and dairy six days in a row. tday i ate just so fucking much, fries, chicken nuggets, and i drank. so. much. alcohol. my belly is all stretched and it hurts so fucking much. i swear i can feel food up to my throat. god i feel disgusting and heavy, i can barely move.
just why do we do it? does anyone know of cbt/dbt exercises to avoid binges? i can't keep doing it.
thanks if u read it all. much love to everybody
Waaay more calories than I anticipated ahhh
/u/jersler
Created: Sun Aug 5 20:43:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94xkgg/waaay_more_calories_than_i_anticipated_ahhh/
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Bought a salad for lunch, seemed pretty innocent however didnāt have calorie info. Iām munching down on it and under the safe bed of lettuce THE REST OF THE SALAD IS CREAMY POTATO SALAD WHAT THE FUCK :(
[Help] Therapy Help!!!
/u/Death_by_Hedgehog
Created: Sun Aug 5 20:14:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94xd7j/therapy_help/
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So I've been thinking about this for a long time and made my partner a promise that I'd talk to a therapist about mental health stuff (like anxiety, depression, etc.). Can I conceal the fact that I have had an ED for years? Can I lie about previous admissions when I was younger? Will they ask about that? Any time I think about therapists or anything like that I get panic attacks and freak out or disassociate and it's terrifying but I made a promise and I intend to keep it. What happens in therapy (for ED or non-ED stuff) when you're an adult and you go voluntarily? My only experiences were as a child and being forced and I'm so terrified. I'm not at a weight that would require inpatient or anything and I'm not obviously underweight or anything (I really wanted to be before I saw anyone but the time limit is here and I've been trying really hard to maintain just a pound above to prove that I can and to prove to myself in some weird way that I'm not 'really' sick lol), so if I don't tell them anything about it, they won't ask about it or know about it right? Sorry for the messiness of the post, I'm in a bit of an anxiety spiral at the moment and could really use some guidance/advice/what to expect. Thanks in advance!
[Help] family so interested in my weight loss iām worried theyāll start to catch on
/u/cole-ck
Created: Sun Aug 5 19:49:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94x6zv/family_so_interested_in_my_weight_loss_im_worried/
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this happened a while ago, but advice is swill appreciated!! so, this happened a year or so ago (iāve gained all the weight back since then and am trying to lose it again), but as iāve always been overweight, this was probably the most proportionate my weight has ever been to my height (purely for reference, iām in high school, so mid-to-late-teens). it was thanksgiving last year, at which point i was restricting pretty heavily. my family has always been... vocal, to say the least, about when someone loses weight.
at this point, the most noticeable part was my collarbones. they jut out quite a bit even when iām overweight, and as i lose, i lose the weight around my chest first. when i first walked into my grandmothers house, i was showered with, āmy goodness, youāre glowing! you look so skinny!ā from my grandparents, who are both twice as healthy as i am. then, my aunt comes about, āhow did you do it? are you calorie counting? is that what it is?ā at the dinner table, while iām (for once) trying to enjoy a meal with my family. she kept insisting i tell her what i was doing, even though she probably weighed about what i did at the time (160 lbs, i was about 5ā3 and she is about 5ā7).
it just made me so uncomfortable, but every time i attempt to lose weight and it shows, my family is all over me, from third grade up until now.
does anyone elseās family do this? and if so, how do you go about it? so far, nobody has said anything about me eating too little, itās just been about weight loss, not eating habits, but iād like to make sure that they donāt sense something is wrong before i reach a healthy weight.
[Rant/Rave] My life is going downhill!
/u/UsualLetter
Created: Sun Aug 5 19:47:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94x6dq/my_life_is_going_downhill/
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sorry for formatting, mobile and all.
my life is not looking great right now. One of my good friends is moving across the country tomorrow and im gonna miss him a lot since he was the one i always talked my problems out with over boba tea.
Today i also found out I have 2 classes with a girl who hates me a LOT. she is so petty and will do anything to be cruel as long as she feels good about herself. shes an extremely toxic person and i cu her out of my life a few months ago, but i know she is looking for some sort of revenge. we used to be āfriendsā i guess which means she knows how to get under my skin which im terrified of. shes also very obese. i need to be better than her so i want to stop eating but thats horrible and petty of me.
theres this girl that im not really friends with, but my other guy friends are so they added her to our group chat. i was okay with it at first but now i realize i cant express myself the way i used to in it and im scared to talk about my personal life or anything in fear she will send it to the formerly mentioned girl who hates me since theyre still friends. i dont hate the girl in the group chat, she just makes me kind of uncomfortable sometimes. but i want my friends to be happy so i want to just suck it up and stop talking about myself or just leave it. i really dont want to leave it but it might be best.
i feel so lonely and scared especially since in going into my junior year and i know its the hardest and i have to outdo the toxic girl, become thin and beautiful, fix my relationships, have my first job, and all the other basic things i need to do anyway for school. im so scared and my weight is the only thing i feel in control of right now and im just a horrible fat disgusting person. i hate it. i cant do it
im so tired of being fat.
/u/biblicalirony [5'3 | cw: 174 | hw: 234 | lw: 170 | gw: 115 | 15f]
Created: Sun Aug 5 19:37:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94x3xe/im_so_tired_of_being_fat/
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like im also tired of having an eating disorder but if im thin at least people will treat me like... i dont know. a person?
god i cant even blame my family because they dont know any better but i binged a shit ton of food today and they literally havent stopped making fat jokes or jokes about how often im eating... which, yeah, im used to but i reached my breaking point when my dad made a joke about how my two other sisters had specialities in making these specific dishes (like, my older sister with a strawberry cobbler and my younger one with a teriyaki tofu dish) and he looked at me last and for a few seconds before he said, "meanwhile, she [me] can't cook, all she does is eat" everyone and by everyone could just *not* stop laughing and i pretended to laugh too but went to the bathroom straight away because i had reached my limit. as soon as i reached it, i cried. i couldn't stop crying and it's been around half an hour now but i still can't stop crying. they asked me if i was okay because of how long i had been in there for but all i could do was make a joke about how eating as much as i did led to a really bad stomach-ache.
i'm just so fucking tired of being the fat joke. like i dont care roast me as much as you want but i feel like at this point ive honestly become a caricature of what my gluttony has led me to this: fat. fat, fat, fat, fat, fat. i'm so fucking fat and i'm so tired of it. legitimately gonna start fasting from today because as sick as it is, i almost want them to be worried. about how fast losing. and sooner or later it'll be concern about how sickly i look. it's so fucked up and i'm so fucked up but i am also really, really hurt.
[Rant/Rave] Very Cavallari is very skinny people.
/u/newforvevernever [5'6'' | CW 113.7 | GW 101 | WL 4 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 19:13:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94wy1e/very_cavallari_is_very_skinny_people/
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I generally don't watch reality shows, mostly because I don't watch a lot of TV in general.. but one of my friends posted about this on social media, so it being a lazy sunday, I went and checked it out. Bad idea? Not only is it making me wish I had the conspicuous wealth these people are privy to, but gotdamn Kristin Cavallari is ed! I'm like, watching this just to gawk at her jawline and waist. And no, definitely not a shill for the show... I just didn't see a thinspo thread, and also couldn't catch a non-blurry screenshot from the show to share, but needed to rant/rave about this to people who would get it. I feel like most people I know IRL would be like, 'this bitch is too damn skinny!' But like, people here would get it. I think she'll like, the perfect skinny. Just on the cusp of being scary, but not full-on bones. I'm also wondering if she had a boob job, because she's still got something up top. Anyway, this is my new purely indulgent thin-people-are-on-this show. Because it's probably kind of fake and terrible otherwise, as most of these kind of reality shows tend to be.
š peach username megathread š
/u/arsonist-lolita
Created: Sun Aug 5 18:56:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94wtru/peach_username_megathread/
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i recently downloaded peach and i !love! having a private social media support group with all you lovely people. sorry if weāve had these posts recently, but i thought itād be nice to have one big post for it. i encourage all of you to post your usernames/add each other up!
iāll start with mine: stardustanarchist
Iām just getting back into food logging and MyFitnesspal...I forgot how motivating/satisfying the end of day message can be.
/u/lid-vicious
Created: Sun Aug 5 18:44:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94wqz0/im_just_getting_back_into_food_logging_and/
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https://i.redd.it/tgoopu7odde11.jpg
Is 1200isplenty okay?
/u/akashax [5'5 | SW: 190 | CW:165 | GW: 130 | UGW 115| F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 18:21:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94wlj5/is_1200isplenty_okay/
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https://i.redd.it/lbj5cr4j9de11.png
[Rant/Rave] How does one eat 5000+ calories in a day
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 121 | GW: 116 | 21F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 18:13:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94wji6/how_does_one_eat_5000_calories_in_a_day/
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One being me. Yesterday I was full on 1000 calories. How did I get here. I'm stuffed and about to go eat some halo top and I have no ducking idea why. My stomach hurts. Why do I keep eating.
Wow I hate this.
[Help] somebody fucking help me
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Sun Aug 5 18:07:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94why1/somebody_fucking_help_me/
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iāve been eating around 1,500-2,000kcals for the past three days and iāve gained EIGHT POUNDS???? HOW?!?!?! i havenāt even been binging, this cannot be happening to me.
please help me someone, please. iāve let three weeks go down the drain in THREE days. thereās no way i can gain this much weight in three days right??? iām just retaining and it will drop after i fast for the next few days??? please help.
someone please please help me. i donāt know what to do. please help. please.
please.
DAE want to be thin bc of thin hair?
/u/inadequatewillow
Created: Sun Aug 5 18:03:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94wh2s/dae_want_to_be_thin_bc_of_thin_hair/
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This may sound crazy but I have always had very thin and fine hair (to the point where almost every stylist for as long as I can remember has asked if Iām losing my hair or recommend thickening products). I feel like if youāre chubby, thin hair just looks terrible. It makes your face rounder. But if youāre very thin and waifish, it just looks normal. Ergo a big part of why I want to be very thin is to have my thin hair actually match my face and body / look normal. Anyone relate?
[Discussion] What's the most you've lost on a liquid diet (aka meal shakes, soups, etc)? Did it make you dizzy/nauseous?
/u/unclehands
Created: Sun Aug 5 17:57:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94wfm7/whats_the_most_youve_lost_on_a_liquid_diet_aka/
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sorry if this isn't allowed, first post here. i'm planning on an all liquid diet based on soups, cup-a-soups, and Coke Zero lmao.
kinda concerned tho because i don't wanna feel weak the first day & end up fainting at work.
so what's your guy's experiences w liquid diets? is it even worth it? thnx ā¤ļøāØā¤ļø
[Discussion] Can someone please explain ec stacks to me?
/u/fethe56
Created: Sun Aug 5 17:52:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94weav/can_someone_please_explain_ec_stacks_to_me/
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I keep seeing things about them, but Iām unfamiliar. Is it generally safe? How do I get my hands on one?
Have you ever had a splenda habit so bad that Google brings you here?
/u/LeOssa
Created: Sun Aug 5 17:50:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94wdw8/have_you_ever_had_a_splenda_habit_so_bad_that/
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https://imgur.com/FeeojrX
Flipping the hell out. Found out my dad adds oil to all the "safe" veggies I cook and I just watched him pour a shit ton.
/u/morco99
Created: Sun Aug 5 17:49:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94wdme/flipping_the_hell_out_found_out_my_dad_adds_oil/
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I can't not eat them now that I made them and it seems like he poured 1000 calories worth. I want to blame this on the reason I've been at a plateau and now I'm fucking afraid to eat anything at home. Can anyone please calm me down about how many calories of oil are absorbed? Should I rinse it in water?
[Discussion] Whatās the worst mainstream dieting advice that youāve ever gotten/heard?
/u/LemonsnRoses
Created: Sun Aug 5 17:46:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94wcw8/whats_the_worst_mainstream_dieting_advice_that/
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Now, as someone with a restrictive ed, mainstream diets drive me absolutely up the wall. I fully support doing things the healthy way, but so many of the dieting advice out there isnāt healthy either/is nonsensical and just leads to failure. What are some of the weirdest things youāve heard as ātipsā? Or what are some of the dumbest things people have told you that they do?
Hereās mine in no order in particular:
-put butter/coconut oil in your coffee: yeah, Jan, Iāll take my 10 cal coffee that I drink four times a day to 120 and lose 15 pounds in a month. Sure.
-keto: now I know that this works for many people, but I think itās a little nuts from a caloric standpoint. Iāve had some success with small amounts of it, but just for toning, and while still restricting. I donāt understand how it makes sense to use 3 tbs of olive oil with every meal, eat exorbitant amounts of meat, tons of cheese, eat literal āfat bombsā (little treats made out of coconut oil that are exactly what the sound like), and tons of high calorie foods to lose weight. The calories just donāt add up. You canāt eat as many calories as you possibly want and still lose. Also some people cut out nutrient dense foods like fruits that just naturally have carbs! What! Theyāre low cal, Brenda! Also Iāve seen keto desserts made with few carbs, but so extremely high fat that they have to be twice the calories of generic stuff. Just...why. Thereās this thing called the āketo whooshā where you drop like crazy, but it seems to mostly be water weight, and after that you lose slowly...just like a normal diet.
-low fat: thereās been studies where they put people on either a low fat or low carb diet, and there is barely a difference between the losses for both. I buy a lot of low fat stuff, but just because the calories are lower. I donāt get how not eating fat (though it does metabolize quickly into fat if eaten in *MASS* quantities) is supposed to help you lose weight. We literally need fat in our diets to keep us fuller so that binging is less likely. Not saying to eat ten avocados a day, but donāt cut it all out.
-āif I eat close enough to the serving size, my body will just figure it out and it wonāt mess up my weight lossā -my friend, eating 2x the serving size
-āyou canāt outrun a bad dietā: prolly true, but watch me try after a binge lol
-weight watchers/Jenny Craig/pre-bought frozen diet foods: how are these good for you? Why would you pay for frozen meals to be delivered to you doorstep with a controlled amount of calories when you can cook stuff that are the same amount of calories for less money?? Also sounds like they would get forgotten on a porch in the sun and soggy
-āall diets result in weight gainā: ...because people go back to eating how they ate before because they just āgot done with being goodā and started to eat like shit again. Ive seen everyone in my family do this. Stop saying that to people who are trying to improve their health.
-juicing: doesnāt that take the fiber out of it? I mean if it works I guess, but it sounds absolutely miserable. Surprised this is so mainstream given that itās basically liquid fasting...very ED if you ask me.
ANYWAY what have yāall heard? If you do any of these things, know that Iāve tried most of them, and there obviously isnāt any hate at all!!
[Discussion] Oops! Will the guilt leave?
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Sun Aug 5 17:29:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94w8qn/oops_will_the_guilt_leave/
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Oh no!
I did really good for one week (good for me.... so I wasn't binging)
I get to use a scale and see that I lost a pound from the previous week! Down to 137lbs well I'm sure that's gone.
I. BINGED. ALL. WEEKEND.
there goes the beginning of august.
I know it makes me so unhappy? Why did I do it? Why can't I stop myself when it's happening? I feel do guilty about spending money on food which only leaves me incredibly unhappy!!!! I purged a lot on Thursday and Friday which obviously isn't good.. but no worries stupid! You're full to the brim with food now!
[Rant/Rave] Does anybody know why people put coconut oil or butter in their coffee?? Love getting unsolicited weight loss ātipsā
/u/LemonsnRoses
Created: Sun Aug 5 17:24:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94w7ig/does_anybody_know_why_people_put_coconut_oil_or/
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Apparently putting coconut oil/butter in your coffee is a thing AND itās recommended for weight loss, according to my friend. Keep in mind (love my friend dearly, but sometimes she gets on my nerves about always having some new thing to make her lose weight that makes no sense) she has never succeed in a diet, and is now recommending for me to do so, completely unaware that I restrict/want to lose weight. So she basically was like āyouāre fat, add some fat.ā
Anyway, I looked into it because I was completely confused, and I still am to be honest. Why add an extra 120+ calories to your coffee??? A low calorie thing?? She said that it was ābecause she doesnāt put creamer,ā but how does that make sense when creamer is like 30 cals? My ed brain is going through over drive right now. She said that it was to stop you from getting as hungry and so that you could eat less throughout the day, but honey coffee is a stimulant and will do just the same when black/with just creamer for a fraction of the cals. I just hate mainstream dieting advice. Like, obviously what Iām doing is just as bad, but at least it works. Smh
How much do you exercise?
/u/DenverTheLastDinosau
Created: Sun Aug 5 17:16:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94w5nj/how_much_do_you_exercise/
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I can lose weight steadily by restricting but I'm extremely sedentary and have noticed I have faster results when I've been walking around all day etc. versus when I do nothing. I'm a student, and don't have to move about much if I don't want to and have always been very lazy. I was just wondering how much exercise you do, and how you think it's helps.
[Help] How to quickly lose bloat
/u/coolmistmama
Created: Sun Aug 5 17:16:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94w5l9/how_to_quickly_lose_bloat/
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I have a family trip coming up this week and beside my growing dread about food comments/eating habits, I also need to lose all this belly bloat between now and Wednesday.
Just weighed my fat ass and Iām coming in at 116.5 lbs at 5ā4ā. Iām switching over to a vegan diet also.
[Discussion] favorite teas?
/u/angelic-rose [š¹ 19F | 5ā6 | 130 | 21.07 | GW1 120]
Created: Sun Aug 5 17:14:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94w58d/favorite_teas/
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i know itās not exactly hot tea season, but who cares!!!
i just tried the celestial seasonings cinnamon apple spice and holyyyy shit itās so good on its own??? and smells like a dream? i canāt imagine how much better this will taste in the colder months aa
my favorite green tea is uncle leeās bc it doesnāt taste bitter. i also like my countrytime peach tea iced with a little bit of stevia!!
pls give recommendations for my growing tea collection
[Help] Conflicted on whether or not to break my fast
/u/BurningThruMyVeins [5'2'' | 100 | 18.3 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 17:00:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94w1om/conflicted_on_whether_or_not_to_break_my_fast/
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Heya all,
On Wednesday night at 10PM, I made myself a goal to do a 4 day water-only fast. I actually ended up doing 74 hours of it dry and introduced water during the last planned 24 hours. I am 4 hours away from hitting the four day goal, and I was planning on breaking the fast, but I am now having conflicting thoughts. I've made it this far, maybe I should just continue to not eat...especially after going through all of the mental agony that fasting takes the first couple days.
I have been an IFer for nearly 3 years, so fasting is part of my daily life. I have only completed one other extended fast, and that was back in April. I did 5 days. I remember kind of feeling similarly the last time...feeling sort of afraid to break the fast, but I did end up breaking it.
Idk, the mental gymnastics is always what gets to me with my ED. On the one hand, I have been looking forward to being done with this fast all day today and have planned a small meal of egg, smoked salmon and tuna to reintroduce to my system. On the other, I like the feeling of control, the peace of mind that there is no possible way I am gaining weight this way...and I start to think if the 250 calories of food is even worth it after 96 hours of nothing.
I'm not sure what advice I am looking for...maybe just if anyone can relate and what you do when faced with these situations.
I feel so alone
/u/Snowbae
Created: Sun Aug 5 16:55:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94w0bd/i_feel_so_alone/
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I have nobody to talk to. I feel so lonely. I don't even know what to do with myself. I had my worst binge in forever today. I don't even have words for it. I feel like I have so much to look forward to and I still wish I would fall asleep and never wake up. I hate myself and I hate everything and I feel so disgusting and I wish everything would just STOP for a little bit. I don't want the future I just want everything to end but I'm too much of a pussy to do anything about it. I don't even know what I want from this post but I just feel awful right now and like I have nobody there for me
[Discussion] 48 hour fast/OMAD
/u/miniwheat01
Created: Sun Aug 5 16:48:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vyq8/48_hour_fastomad/
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So I was in recovery but have slowly relapsed. Started talking to my husband about OMAD and he said, "just because you are using different terms doesn't make it different"
Somehow I sill convinced him it is healthy and he has joined me, mostly to show solidarity.
As I was reading through the OMAD sub I saw soo many people posting that they wanted faster results so they do 48 hour fasts, eat their OMAD/1500 cals then 48 hours. And it is so accepted and normal! Apparently if you just change the words around then restricting is a totally normal and healthy thing š
Anyway, I'm trying out OMAD because I am awful at the moderation that recovery calls for. I am going to keep myself honest and not push the fasting longer than 24 hours, but we all know where that ends upš¤·š»āāļø
[Goal] 30 day no binge challenge
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Sun Aug 5 16:17:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vque/30_day_no_binge_challenge/
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Anyone interested in do a 30 day no binge challenge (starting tomorrow)?
I canāt stand this body
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 116 |UGW 105| F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 16:14:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vq1c/i_cant_stand_this_body/
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Itās fat and ugly and will never be pretty. I canāt even restrict because Iām on vacation and Iām so bloated. I hate it I hate it I hate it. When I get to school I vow to get back to 110. This flabby bloated stomach will vanish and my thigh gap will be larger.
[Help] Does anyone have any suggestion on OTC food suppressant supplements?
/u/kayasawyer [ 4'11 | 100 | 18.5 | 20 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 16:09:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vorw/does_anyone_have_any_suggestion_on_otc_food/
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My sister doesnāt want her Phentermine so she gives it to me for free but Iām currently out and will not be able to get anymore from her until the 15th. I have Energy tablets from Dollar Tree but theyāre disgusting and hard to swallow. Iām not looking for something that will help me lose weight because I know OTC ones donāt actually work but are there anyoneās thatāll give me energy *and* suppress my appetite? Iāll even go for some kind of drink as well. Any help at all would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
Also if anyoneās interested in how well phentermine is well I lost 5 pounds in the first week and in the first month I lost 20. This shit is amazing.
Medications and EDs, scared.
/u/littlesunshine13
Created: Sun Aug 5 16:06:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vnuq/medications_and_eds_scared/
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Hi all,
So I am on Prozac... have been on Prozac for 3ish years (20 mg) and it has DEFINITELY helped me. For years before that I refused Prozac everytime it was mentioned because I associated it with weight gain. Finally, I was forced to take it during a ED impatient stay and have been on it ever since. It never caused weight gain ad actually I've been able to steadly loose weight on it.Ā
Fast forward to this year andĀ I was recently diagnosed with Crohn's Disease and was put on BudesonideĀ and Pentasa, (3mg and 4g a day) and eventually will be put on Remicade. However, I can't bring myself to take them because I'm petrified I'm going to gain weight as I've heard that Budeosnide (a steriod) can cause a moon face. Ā I've been slowly loosing weight fora while, eating anywhere from 1900-2100 calories and doing no exercise (literally I sit at a desk all day). I hit a new low weigh in this week, and I partly think the weight loss is due to my body's inhability to absorb nutrients from the Crohn's.Ā
I am literally at my wits end because I'm so sick of being in pain, having my stoach bloat up to 9+ months pregnant, etc. HOWEVER, there is almost a "high" that I can eat this much and still remain super skinny (I'm 5'3.5 and 90lb).Ā
I feel like once again I'm in a situation were I really need a drug, but scared to take it due to others saying that they gained weight from it.Ā
Anyone have Crohn's or Ulcerative Colitis? If so, what medication(s) are you on? How did the medication affect your weight and any advice for someone who is so confused she is ready to cry?
[Discussion] If anyone hasnāt seen this video- itās super interesting (thoughts below)
/u/leftshoelauren [5'3"F | SW 185 | CW 157 | GW 110 | š tinyren]
Created: Sun Aug 5 16:05:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vnkk/if_anyone_hasnt_seen_this_video_its_super/
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https://youtu.be/eVZJFULZVfA
[Other] Binge
/u/glitchydowner
Created: Sun Aug 5 16:04:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vn8w/binge/
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Every weekend I can't help myself and let my eating slip which then turns into a binge and the the circle of hating myself starts. Anyone got any ideas to stop it? My head can't take it anymore!
Does anybody else have a weird fascination with plastic surgery?
/u/blazeroftrails [5'6 | 117.7 lbs | GW 105]
Created: Sun Aug 5 15:53:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vkdj/does_anybody_else_have_a_weird_fascination_with/
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When Iām an adult and have $ Iād love to get my chin shaved or however they do it (I have a giantass chin) and maybe eyelid surgery too. Iād love weight loss surgery too buttt if I went and asked for that Iād be laughed at
I feel personally attacked by facebook
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 15:50:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vjhu/i_feel_personally_attacked_by_facebook/
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When there's a counseling ad for a girl with an ed looking in the mirror & all that mainstream stereotype ed jazz. Oh man. ~they know~
āIām clogging my arteries for THIS???ā
/u/cursedconcubine
Created: Sun Aug 5 15:39:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vgft/im_clogging_my_arteries_for_this/
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You ever have like a cheat day so you eat calorie dense food but get so disappointed because it doesnāt even taste that good??? Like I binged for this shit??? Iām clogging my arteries for this????
Today was my birthday so I thot it would be nice to not care about what I eat and just get Chinese takeout but my mom refused because she wanted me to have a nice meal outside with my family.
Overall Iām disappointed. And tbh, I probably would have still felt like shit even if I did just get what I takeout anyway. My tastebuds are practically dead haha Iāll never have a normal relationship with food.
[Goal] I keep my before and after for when I need motivation. ~135 lbs to 105. UGW is 85 and Iāll post a final before and after when I get there. This will keep me accountable.
/u/jellyboness [5'4" | BMI:18.2 | CW:106lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 5 15:38:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vgb2/i_keep_my_before_and_after_for_when_i_need/
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https://i.redd.it/eo25d22lgce11.jpg
"You're SO thin, probably like 88 pounds...!"
/u/usernameblahhhhh [5 ft | 14.6]
Created: Sun Aug 5 15:38:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vg6k/youre_so_thin_probably_like_88_pounds/
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FML FML
try low seventies
Shortness is a curse! I know that people just think "low" and don't understand how low "low" really is, but... gotta say that one really burned. 15 pounds?! What would they think if I actually were 88??
I'm glad I don't look sick, really, but at the same time it bothers me that anorexia is socially acceptable when people think you still look good.
Oh well. Another day, another day.
[Discussion] DAE really struggle to feel comfortable with being sexual as a girl?
/u/kpatable [5'9.5" | 134 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 15:34:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vf12/dae_really_struggle_to_feel_comfortable_with/
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I am a straight girl, and I only look at male/male erotic media when I masturbate. In gay erotica (I mostly watch amateur porn and look at yaoi), a guy can be sweet and youthful while also being sexual. But I feel like in (at least American) society a female can be a child with no sexuality at all OR a fully mature sex object who is an adult woman. In personality I am sweet, genuine, sensitive, and optimistic - very child-like in a lot of ways. But I greatly struggle to translate that over into my sexuality, especially since I get intimate with mostly cis men. I always feel dirty and/or slutty and/or "womanly," and I am none of those things. Idk where exactly I'm going with this... I just so rarely feel like myself when I am having a sexual experience with anyone, and I don't know how to change that. Can anyone relate?
Ruined a week's worth of progress
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 78.1kg | 28.7 | F | bulimic]
Created: Sun Aug 5 15:22:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94vc3s/ruined_a_weeks_worth_of_progress/
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I was doing kinda well, eating a little less and purging a little more (I know it's not a good thing, but at least I was steadily losing weight). One weekend of drinking alcohol and eating normally and I'm right back to where I started. Basically the only thing I did differently was to eat a normal dinner instead of just b/p in the evening, and start eating before midday instead of fasting all morning. I can't believe how hard it was to lose that weight, and how easy it was to gain it all back. I have to step my fucking game up.
[Help] I'm so sick of this
/u/AgreeableReplacement [22Fš5'8š~100lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 5 15:15:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94va65/im_so_sick_of_this/
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I don't even know why I'm doing this anymore, all of this is a complete waste of life. Everything I do seems to revolve around it but I can't stop. I'm constantly tired and emotionally numb. I don't feel like myself at all anymore and I miss feeling happy, excited and motivated about things like I used to. I spend my days trying to pass the time until I'm "allowed" to eat, constantly searching for things to do that make me feel something positive but nothing does anymore.
Part of me wants to recover but the other part is clinging onto this fucking disordered mindset like crazy. I've been trying to make steps towards getting better like upping my intake but I still feel like complete shit physically plus my food anxiety seems to be getting worse.
I wish I could snap into the recovery mindset like I seemed to have last time I relapsed. I've already reached out to an ED clinic but everything is so slow moving with them. I would greatly appreciate it if anyone could share some sort of advice, I'm tired of living like this.
[Discussion] Anyone else skip the best sex of their life to purge? Oh ok just me then...
/u/HistrionicSlut
Created: Sun Aug 5 15:03:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94v6ve/anyone_else_skip_the_best_sex_of_their_life_to/
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I binged on orange chicken and had the opportunity to have really great sex. Which I passed up. Because I needed to throw up.
Oh Iām totally not fucked up and my disorder is so under control /s
[Help] How do you break a binge cycle???
/u/fgsixtynine
Created: Sun Aug 5 14:43:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94v17x/how_do_you_break_a_binge_cycle/
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Hi everyone! I've been stuck in a binge cycle for about 4 months. I've gained almost back to my HW and I just CAN'T stop eating. I usually purge by lax and it's not very effective obviously. Lax is expensive and I hate it and I want to stop this but nothing I try seems to work.
In the past, I've been able to break a binge cycle when I have an event or something coming up, because it gives me something to look forward to. Lately even THAT hasn't been enough though.
Anyone who has been stuck in a long binge cycle before, what did you do to break it?
[Rant/Rave] I got drunk and told my SO everything
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -70 | 31F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 13:39:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94uj9o/i_got_drunk_and_told_my_so_everything/
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Now heās up my ass all the time
[Discussion] āNo thank you Iām fastingā
/u/onthewaydownnn [25F | 5'7" | ā¼ 28 lbs | ā½ 20 lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 5 13:36:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94uine/no_thank_you_im_fasting/
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I used to feel like I had to make excuses for not eating at restaurants with people, or eating when everyone else is eating. I would get so overwhelmed and exhaust myself hours before an event just dreading the feeling of having to explain myself. But in the last few weeks, Iāve been using extended fasts (2-3 days) to help with my Crohnās flair ups. And I found no one actually cares what you do or do not eat when youāre an adult. Like literally. No one cares. Gonna eat 12 donuts at your desk and work at the same time? Cool. Gonna bring a 2.2L jug of water around with you and politely decline breakfast/lunch/dinner? Cool. No one cares once youāre an adult.
Iām sure the stress of thinking about telling people I was skipping meals caused my body way more harm than just skipping a meal as a high school girl struggling with her eating disorder. It honestly blows my mind how much relief from all my chronic pain I am experiencing from fasting and also not feeling like I have to prove to everyone Iām fine and Iām not gonna die from skipping lunch.
Choosing not to take medicine because weight gain. Why am I like this?
/u/Throwaway17898753 [5'11" | CW 175.4 | GW 175 | -97 | 35M]
Created: Sun Aug 5 13:33:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94uhpp/choosing_not_to_take_medicine_because_weight_gain/
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Highly allergic to poison ivy. I got a patch and it goes systemic in me. Prednisone will make it all better but a side effect is weight gain. So Iām completely itchy and miserable but Iām not about to gain. Fml.
[Intro] Instagram Group Chat for overweight girls under 15 with an ed
/u/fjrjcthb
Created: Sun Aug 5 13:23:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94uerq/instagram_group_chat_for_overweight_girls_under/
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Iāve noticed that overweight people with eating disorders have trouble finding a community to support them so Iām making a chat for them. U have to have an overweight bmi and be in Youāre early teens or preteens. Msg my instagram Darkness_Shadow_Ghost.
[Rant/Rave] Holy fucking whoosh
/u/peachypetrina
Created: Sun Aug 5 13:05:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94u9tt/holy_fucking_whoosh/
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Guys, I donāt even know how this happened! The last week I was fluctuating around 108-109 lbs but not steadily losing. Iāve been trying to do OMAD, but Iāve literally been fucking up and eating random junk food, not tracking calories, Iāve been sick so I used that as an excuse to eat more, and I had a huge dinner on Wednesday at a steakhouse with my family. I didnāt expect any weight loss so it made sense I was maintaining my weight. but I woke up today and looked at my legs and noticed my thigh gap was larger than usual. And I measured my legs and basically lost an inch on my thighs! And I weighed myself today and I was 105 lbs!! I know itās not the biggest whoosh but Iām so shocked because
1. This was my first goal weight and I just dropped to it overnight. I thought I would reach this weight in a week or two!
2. I didnāt at all expect to lose weight after how Iāve been eating????
Maybe I actually ate less last week than I thought, but I am so happily surprised that this happened!
[Discussion] DAE fast to āproveā to themselves they donāt constantly think about food, but think about food the whole time theyāre fasting?
/u/katieburrito
Created: Sun Aug 5 13:00:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94u8kv/dae_fast_to_prove_to_themselves_they_dont/
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Does anyone just use their main account instead of a throw away ?
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_ [5'6 | CW 131.5 | GW 120 | UGW 100| F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 12:43:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94u3zn/does_anyone_just_use_their_main_account_instead/
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I just realized I only use one account on reddit. The only downside is I don't post on my small/med sized city's sub on reddit due to paranoia. I highly doubt anyone from irl knows my account or would able to put the pieces together or honestly care. My life isn't exciting, reading all my depression & ED post would be a bore & probably seem fake given my outward personality. Though I still try not to post selfies or anything that could "out me".
Guess I'm curious if anyone else does or has had issues posting in other subs because of it?
Curled up in bed after my first binge in 6 months. It's so much worse than I remember.
/u/SufficientFat
Created: Sun Aug 5 12:39:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94u2pm/curled_up_in_bed_after_my_first_binge_in_6_months/
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I hate myself. I hate that I do this to myself over and over again. Every time I get on track and start to eat well and lose weight, I juuusst have to test myself and BOOM 5000 kcals gone in an hour and me wishing for death.
I'm writing this curled up on my bedroom floor. My stomach hurts so bad I can't even roll over and lie on my back. I'm short of breath, sweating like a pig and it feels like the food is stuck in my throat. I want to throw up to ease the stomach pain, but it's been several years since my last purge and I don't wanna start down that road again.
I'm so ashamed. I'm humiliated. I'm weak and worthless, and most of all I'm terrified that it will always be like this. That I'll always be a slave to food. That no matter how much progress I make - no matter how much I love and care for myself - it can all be erased in a second by a sale on frozen chicken nuggets.
And yet, despite all the physical and emotional agony, all I can think about right now is trying to stand up so I can get to the freezer and finish off a pint of ice cream.
BED can go fuck itself with a rake.
It kills me that Iāll never be ābeautifulā
/u/blazeroftrails [5'6 | 117.7 lbs | GW 105]
Created: Sun Aug 5 12:35:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94u1qs/it_kills_me_that_ill_never_be_beautiful/
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Donāt get me wrong, I donāt think Iām ugly. Thereās nothing really WRONG with my appearance, and I feel like I might even be considered āprettyā with makeup on. But Iām never gonna look like a Victoriaās Secret model. Iām such a perfectionist and I fixate on my looks way too much and I just want to look āperfectā but there are some things you just canāt really change and I hate it.
IM DRUNK AND MY FRIENDS MAKING SPAGHETTI AND I HAVE NO WAY OF AVOIDING IT. HERE WE FUCKIN GO LADS
/u/clare988
Created: Sun Aug 5 12:35:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94u1n5/im_drunk_and_my_friends_making_spaghetti_and_i/
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im shitting myself I saw the amount of oil he was pouring in to fry some small slices of mf aubergine
[Rant/Rave] TMI. I binged on fast food and my body thinks I took laxatives...
/u/KattyWampus666 [:karma:163cm | SW: 123kg CW: 93kg GW: ? | 27F:karma:]
Created: Sun Aug 5 11:50:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94tp8n/tmi_i_binged_on_fast_food_and_my_body_thinks_i/
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OMFG. I binged on nearly 1100 calories worth of burger king last night... Normally I would take a laxative afterwards but last night I was feeling strong and I didnt... This morning I swear my body thinks I did and Im having the most painfully disgusting diarrhea of my life. Does this mean Im not absorbing all of the calories? Please tell me this is the case :(
I feel so horrible physically and emotionally right now. I had such a good workout yesterday and I completely ruined it with this binge... What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I do this to myself?
FML... Really hoping my Dr will prescribe Vyvanse to curb the increased appetite and cravings my new medication is causing. This is so goddamned depressing.
My sister said I looked skinny
/u/therealtompetty [5'5 | CW 117 | BMI 19.5 | GW 100 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 11:30:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94tjpi/my_sister_said_i_looked_skinny/
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So I hadn't seen my sister in a couple months, yesterday she walks in the door and the first thing she says to me is "Wow, you look... skinny". It felt validating but it also made me feel sort of guilty for some reason. My aunt also told me it looked like I lost weight when I saw her for the first time in a month or so. It's nice to hear that my weight loss is showing but I think because it's such a personal and private thing to me usually it's weird hearing other people comment on it.
[Intro] returning cause it sucks being alone in this
/u/anon-lain
Created: Sun Aug 5 11:21:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94th6f/returning_cause_it_sucks_being_alone_in_this/
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hi proed, i had an account on here a while back but anyway i lost access to it and afterwards my life spiraled into a massive disaster and i gained 30-40 pounds in a few months
BUT thatās not why iām posting cause iām not unloading all my psychological trauma just yet ;)
also as a side note this community is too sweet
[Other] Motivation!
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 115 | 17.95 | 14.2 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 11:14:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94tf4b/motivation/
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Iāve fallen off the wagon recently and gained like 5 lbs, and I need to stop thinking that once i slip up once, itās game over. So this is a little motivational post for myself and anyone else who needs a little extra push, Iām rooting for you, I hope things work out well for us! I need to post this here to remind myself to stay strong, haha.
[Discussion] Scared of how my postpartum body will look
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Sun Aug 5 11:11:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94te6w/scared_of_how_my_postpartum_body_will_look/
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My son is due in early October, meaning I have roughly 6 weeks until he is full term and and 9 weeks until the due date.
Iām so, so excited to meet him! But I have this awful feeling attached to it and Iām ashamed. Right now, I have an excuse for being as large and out of control because Iām pregnant. But when he is here, and Iām left with the 40 extra pounds Iāve put on, the saggy boobs, the stretch marks and the loose skin.. I just donāt know what Iāll do with myself. Loose skin is what Iām most concerned about, I went from 100-145 in a matter of 6-7 months and itās ALL belly, upper arm and breast weight.
Of course my son is always going to be my priority, but Iām nervous that when Iām ready to start working a diet back in that although I lose fat, I will be left with saggy mom boobs and loose skin.
[Rant/Rave] Bad Mood Rant, Boyfriend can Fuck Off
/u/nymphlotus [64in | 157 | 26.9 | -23lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 5 10:53:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94t9bq/bad_mood_rant_boyfriend_can_fuck_off/
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Bitchy wall of text here. But tl;dr is essentially I've been fasting/purging and it's put me in a bad mood so everything is making me mad.
I've been trying lately to find myself as attractive as people say I am, but it's not easy. I only feel as good as i do about myself because I've been fasting and purging most of what i eat, so I've been down in the 150s and haven't gone above 160 at all for the last couple weeks.
Friday night I went out with friends and wore something cute. Everyone made over how cute it was. I got soooo drunk and had been fasting, so i couldn't sleep worth a damn. Then I drank coffee trying to shake off the drunkenness so I could go hiking. That went as well as one would expect.
I was bored and my bf was asleep so I sent one of our "romantic buddies" some nudes. She made over how cute I was ("the sunrise is great lighting but you're the perfect subject ā”") and how she should send some back.
Bf woke up later and we were chatting and on reddit. Was showing him some of the thinspo pictures I saved (he knows well about my ED). He got annoyed and made the comment that "if I'd stop worrying about looking like other people and embrace my own body, I'd feel better". Easier said than done, but I understand that's the truth. So fine.
This morning I decided to send him nudes. Now mind you, he's made comments (maybe jokingly) in the past about me sending more nudes to the people we have "sexy times" with than he ever gets. The reply I get from him?
"Nice".
And now I want to just blow up. He keeps telling me to just accept that people compliment me constantly because I am actually attractive. That's all good and fine but I'm only hoping for some flattery from one goddam person. Maybe I'd be in a better mood if I didn't feel like I was trying so hard for the one damn person who's opinion I actually value.
So fuck him, here comes the self destructive behavior. As soon as I stop feeling absolutely nauseous from all the fasting/purging I'm going to the fucking gym for 700 hours.
[Rant/Rave] Fucking gain weight
/u/tryllebukser
Created: Sun Aug 5 10:27:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94t2kb/fucking_gain_weight/
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Hej iam drunkaroxic bulimic and bed. For severel years. Im travveling home from at festival. And Ive cried for 6 hours straight because i feel fat and discusting. Im gonna lose 10 kilos when i get home and this i my last drink (prettye wasted i Guess) love this sub
ApowerREC 1.2.2.0 Portable with Crack Full Version Free Download [Latest]
/u/aryan167
Created: Sun Aug 5 10:21:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94t12x/apowerrec_1220_portable_with_crack_full_version/
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http://crackfullreal.com/apowerrec-1-2-2-0-portable/
I don't know if this place will help or hinder me.
/u/sudojess
Created: Sun Aug 5 10:13:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94syv9/i_dont_know_if_this_place_will_help_or_hinder_me/
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It's weird. I've felt pretty alone in my ED, I don't know anyone with the same habits as me, I never saw anyone talk about it. I'm very overweight, at 280lbs, and I have serious issues with portion control, binging, routines, and occasional bouts of fasting all day only to binge in the evening. It doesn't help that I'm developing an alcohol problem too.
I've a lot of dumb thoughts about ED, ones I won't repeat here for fear of triggering people, or glamorizing the other side of things. I know it's terrible for everyone, but it's hard not to be jealous of those that can get skinny.
I found this place and the meme offshoot and oh my god. I've never seen my thoughts and insecurities put so directly in front of me before. I had no idea there were thousands of people out there with my exact strugggle.
It could be a good thing finding a support group, but I really do worry about swinging the other way now. I know it won't work and I know it's not healthy, but I keep thinking "well I've plenty of fat, so starving myself until I'm at a healthy weight is fine". It makes no logical sense but at the same time I can't stop thinking about it.
I don't know. I don't know if I can do "normal" caloric intake. I don't know if I'd ever lose enough weight on it, or if it would be effective enough in telling my brain what's normal. I'm not asking for advice or anything like that, it's against the rules. I just want to get this out there.
I'll continue lurking for a while, hopefully if I find myself developing bad habits, I'll have the strength to leave. Until then, I'll be here.
[Other] I went 24 hours without eating & didnt realize it
/u/fweakybby [5ā5ā | 132| 22.0 | 68lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 09:56:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94su7q/i_went_24_hours_without_eating_didnt_realize_it/
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So yesterday I got to see one of my icons, Marilyn Manson. I spent most of the day getting ready and shit, drinking a TON of water because it was outside in 90 degree weather. At about 11pm when the show was coming to a close I realized I hadnāt ate anything. I feel this weird sense of accomplishment even tho I felt like I was going to pass out/throw up a lot of the show.
[Rant/Rave] My husband is eating chips (loudly)
/u/_Pulltab_ [:karma: 5'7"| 26.7| -25.8 | F :karma:]
Created: Sun Aug 5 09:53:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94stfq/my_husband_is_eating_chips_loudly/
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And I want to shank him.
Iām back and ready to restrict
/u/rainbowfuze [5'9" | 135 | BMI: 19.5 | GW1: 130 | UGW: 123]
Created: Sun Aug 5 09:48:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94srx6/im_back_and_ready_to_restrict/
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The last two weeks Iāve been eating at a near maintenance level (1,600-1,800 cals) in an actual effort to recover. Things were great, no binges, wasnāt feeling deprived and was staying around 135 pounds.
WELL the last two days Iāve eaten around 4,000 calories. I weighed myself after a binge (BIG MISTAKE) and I was 149 POUNDS. I donāt even care that it was all water, I have to restrict now. Iām laser focused on 130 again. Ugh I just feel so disgusting
[Discussion] Binding your body/waist training
/u/shiveryourselfskinny [Height 5'2 | CW 122.6 | BMI 22.4 | Weight Lost 26.9 | Gender F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 09:38:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94spcq/binding_your_bodywaist_training/
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Binding my waist is probably one of my biggest regrets, waist training is not. When I was about 13, I bought my first waist trainer. It made me feel confident and it helped my posture, sometimes Id see a difference, but it was never bad. When I was 14 and a half, I took some weights that had velcro and I started fastening them around my body at night. I saw big differences. No matter how early I'd go to bed, I was exhausted (I stopped breathing normally in my sleep), the pressure was causing me to *bleed* (my IUD was digging into the tissue), and though I saw major progress in how things I got, the more weight id lose, the more deformed my body would look. I don't know how to get my body to look normal again, and it got to the point where my ex said that I looked repulsive naked. I love my waist trainers, they've helped me on a day to day basis, but god, I regret ever binding. If anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it. Please don't bind, not only has there been visible damage, both emotionally and physically, but I'm sure that my organs are hating me.
[Other] How To: Kill An Appetite
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 105 | 19.2 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 09:33:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94so23/how_to_kill_an_appetite/
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Just go visit ur mum and stepfather for a weekend and wake up to them shagging like theyāre repopulating this very Earth and making sure any remaining form of life with functional hearing knows it.
Thatās all.
Everyday the line between proED and 1200isplenty blurs more and more
/u/kskobg
Created: Sun Aug 5 09:21:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94skzw/everyday_the_line_between_proed_and_1200isplenty/
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https://i.redd.it/23kfes76lae11.jpg
Fuck bulimia, EDs, fuckem
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 26F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 09:06:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94sh93/fuck_bulimia_eds_fuckem/
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I found out my gums are bleeding near my tooth near the gumline. Fuck purging for 8 fucking years its taking my teeth away
the sad part is--If not for teeth damage and shit I would still choose to binge and purge.
freaking out atm bye
maybe mYABE I can finally quit purging.
[Goal] Afraid Iāll still look the same
/u/EDthrowaway8888 [5'6 | CW: 146.4 | BMI: 23.5 | Weight Lost: 19lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 5 09:05:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94sh14/afraid_ill_still_look_the_same/
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Iām 5ā6/F/145.2 as of this morning. Iāve officially dropped 20.6lbs from my highest weight. Iām happy, but I just donāt feel itās made that much of a difference. My goal weight by my birthday is 129, but Iām afraid Iāll still look the same as I do now. If 20 doesnāt make much of a difference, what could another 16 do?! Does anyone feel they just need to lose soooo much to even get close to a slender, thin appearance?
[Discussion] Anybody else have moments of clarity from BDD
/u/octopihomie
Created: Sun Aug 5 08:15:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94s50c/anybody_else_have_moments_of_clarity_from_bdd/
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Sometimes I will get a glismpe of what I really look like. I can even get a thought of"oh shit im scrawny" till I look for to long.
I'm so confused (TDEE & Gaining)
/u/supergirlofsteel [Height 5'3"| CW 122 lbs | BMI 21.6]
Created: Sun Aug 5 07:59:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94s1ci/im_so_confused_tdee_gaining/
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So I've been trying to lay low and maintain for a little while. I still live with my parents so it felt like the right thing to do in the moment. I calculated my TDEE to be around 1600 calories. Great, I said. Imma eat 1200 and my max got to be 1400. I know they look like recovery numbers but trust me it wasn't like that.
Fast forward the last week of July and my scale skyrockets at least 3 pounds. Then 5. I can't stop the scale from going up. I'm scared! I don't went to lose all my progress like this. Should I go into full restriction mode to lose the weight again?
[Discussion] Told my co worker doctor "suspects" (in fact, confirm, just didnt wanna share the truth) that i have anorexia. She said "i dont think you have anorexia. you ate fast previously while we were at the restaurant"
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Sun Aug 5 07:55:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94s0fb/told_my_co_worker_doctor_suspects_in_fact_confirm/
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how are people going to confirm if we have ED? just based on what we did on that day or that we are not skinny enough?..
i ate fast as i heavily restricted the entire week and ate fast cuz i was soo hungry from restricting...
[Discussion] Fasting
/u/itsmeandthemoon [5'3 | 279 | 50.79 | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 5 07:28:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94runm/fasting/
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When fasting do you guys count the time since your last meal, or do you start from when you made the decision to fast.
For example, Iām 24 hours into a fast, but I started at 9am. If I counted until the last meal it would be roughly 36 hours. It doesnāt really matter I just wondered what you personally do.
back again...
/u/-sadgarden [1,82cm | M19]
Created: Sun Aug 5 07:27:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94rug2/back_again/
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so hey guys hows it going :/
the past months ive been trying to eat more or less healthy, to spend as little time as possible going down the spiral. its been a very important time in my life and i couldnt afford to think about what im eating 24/7. but i wasnt fully in a recovery mindset, it was more of a "i need to recover temporaly" thing.
tho it was kinda working. ive stopped thinking about what i eat/am going to eat and my body image. or atleast i discarded those thoughts as soon as they popped up.
it was har but it worked.
sure the wish to get thinner was still there (does it ever go away btw?) but otherwise i was able to focus on other things.
side effect: ive gained a shitton. there were never fullblown binges but i comfort-ate a lot.
now my enviroment changed a bit, there isnt as much of a pressure to not think about food obsessively. so i though "hey i need to lose all that weight i gained somehow. i should try and relapse a bit into restriction. since ive been eating normal for a long while im sure it will take some time until old habits pick back up full force and ill still be able to control them..."
so yea............ its been almost a week and im almost as deep in as at the start. all the familiar thoughts circle my mind. had b/p a few times. an now im on the 2nd day of fasting.
i dont even know what to think. i mean i wanted this so i got no right to complain right? and since i now know how much effort it would take to escape this i also dont really want to stop. i wouldnt be able to take so much stress right now.
im just really astounded how much faster getting in is than getting out. and im also scared since the thoughts grow almost exponentially. im scared where this will take me.
also sorry for my probably shitty grammar. like i said, im on the 2nd day of fasting and i feel like im gonna pass out any minute. my brain and my body are dieing.
buuuut its sunday and the stores are closed, so even if i would decide to eat something small today i wouldnt have the opportunity to (obviously i dont have any food at home).
TLDR: took the slippery slope and underestimated how slippery it was...
[Goal] Goal Weight... FINALLY
/u/LosingLemur [5'10" | CW 132 | New BMI 18.5| F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 07:03:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94rpdt/goal_weight_finally/
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This morning I got on the scale and I'm FINALLY, finally, at 132 (well, 132.5, technically!). It's the first time I've seen that number in... forever. Since probably high school, and I'm one of the Olds on this sub at 38. And I know as soon as I've had my coffee and breakfast I'll be back over, but DAMN it feels good to finally ring the bell after what's been the hardest journey of my life. I don't comment much on here (I lurk and upvote lol) but I've lost well over 100lbs in the past year, had a tummy tuck and breast lift to undo the damage I'd done to my body over the past 15-20 years, and I feel like it's finally all come together. Now comes the hard part -- how the FRACK do I maintain. I refuse to be one of the stats about people that lose a significant amount and then gain it back. Hellz no. I've spent too much money on fixing my tummy and tits and wayyyyy too much sweat and pain in the gym, but this is the part that scares me. I know I can lose weight, but I need to know that I can keep it off permanently. The last month and a half has been so f'ing hard (elder care/family medical issues, medical issues for me, starting new position, moving) and I've been gaining/losing the same 5 or 6 lbs and finally was able to break the binging cycle and push through. I'm so relieved to be here.... but if anyone has any wisdom on maintaining/keeping vigilant, esp. for folks like me that are prone to binging like crazy under stress, I'd love to hear it!!! (also for my peeps that are or started out at a higher weight/BMI - much love to you. I started at 270+, and am a slothful beeeyatch when I'm not spite-exercising, so if I can do it, you can too!!)
[Discussion] i feel like the only one here who hates gum and coffee
/u/cottonlung [5'10 | 161 | 22.5 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 06:31:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94rj6y/i_feel_like_the_only_one_here_who_hates_gum_and/
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iāve only just started drinking soda and iāll only have pepsi max
[Rant/Rave] My body fat is under 32%
/u/ash_alah
Created: Sun Aug 5 06:29:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ritt/my_body_fat_is_under_32/
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31,7% to be exact. I use my scale to get my body fat and idk how accurate it is tbh but its finally not in the overweight category anymore and im so motivated to lose a lot more now.
Why am I so fucking possessive?!
/u/byelittlebirdy
Created: Sun Aug 5 06:28:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94rirk/why_am_i_so_fucking_possessive/
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Does anyone else get weirdly possessive over food?
I know Iām not going to eat those strawberries, but theyāre mine. Iād rather watch them rot than let you have one.
Wtf is wrong with me?! My rational mind knows this makes no logical sense.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 05, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 5 06:11:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94rfht/daily_food_diary_august_05_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for August 05, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 5 06:11:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94rfgy/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Other] I burned 1697 calories yesterday
/u/BlurJAMD
Created: Sun Aug 5 05:53:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94rc7q/i_burned_1697_calories_yesterday/
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To be fair it was gay pride so I had to go clubbing afterwards for 3 hours, combined with walking all day. The foot and spine pain was definitely worth it!
And I didn't drink! So no unnecessary calories!
Ana buddies 10-15
/u/fjrjcthb
Created: Sun Aug 5 05:13:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94r5l6/ana_buddies_1015/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE want their loved ones to notice weight loss?
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Sun Aug 5 05:09:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94r4xr/dae_want_their_loved_ones_to_notice_weight_loss/
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Part of me doesnāt but part of me does. My bf has been away all summer back to his home country, I visited him for a few weeks but now Iām back home and heās still there. Iāve been heavily restricting to lose the holiday pounds, but I keep getting this want to have lost enough pounds that itās noticeable whenever he comes homeā¦ Welp. Iāve lost three pounds already and Iām hoping to lose more over the next week and a half. But I have a friends birthday dinner and my period starting so Iām feeling that itās gonna abruptly stop lmao. My mum keeps calling me thin and skinny and Iām like pls ... Iām a whale.
But is it just me whoās desperate for people to notice and comment, but also doesnāt want anyone to say anything at all?
DAE browse/shop on Asian clothing sites for secret thinspo?
/u/BunnyAwesome [5'7" | F | CW 130 | GW 110]
Created: Sun Aug 5 04:35:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94qzot/dae_browseshop_on_asian_clothing_sites_for_secret/
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It can't just be me. All the clothing is just so beautiful and all the models are unbelievably thin. It's such amazing fuel, I must spend hours every week just looking through and planning outfits for home and work whilst at the same time stuffing thinspo into my eyeballs...
On the flip side of body dismorphia ...
/u/hawkeyebrows [Height 5'3 | CW 85lbs | BMI 15.5 | 27F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 04:20:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94qxct/on_the_flip_side_of_body_dismorphia/
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I've gained like many pounds up from near-death BMI, and I look exactly as skeletal/obese as I ever did. What fucking gives.
[Rant/Rave] My mum just asked me about my eating habits
/u/steamedbun_27 [165cm | CW: 66.1kg / GW: 50kg | idk | -27kg | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 03:33:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94qqk2/my_mum_just_asked_me_about_my_eating_habits/
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Just this morning she asked me what I usually eat in the day. Iāve had binge days where I ate at night, and she just straight up told me to eat lesser because itās fattening. She must be noticing my weight gain. Time to water fast till I pass out I guess...
I hate being so tall
/u/apinkphoenix [185cm | 72kg | 20.1 | -20kg | 32F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 03:05:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94qmdm/i_hate_being_so_tall/
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Ok so despite being 32 my body has never been that important to me until the last year or so. Now I obsess over it. So in my stats you can see I'm 6'1 with a BMI of 20.1. Despite looking skinnier than from where I started, my body looks so far away from my goal it's crazy. And I'm only 1.6 away from being underweight!
So I looked up models my height and funnily enough most big name models are my height. I knew they were tall but yeah. Anyway it was their weight and measurements that I found interesting. Karlie Kloss is supposedly 57kg which gave her a BMI of ~15-16 or less (idk I looked it up last night.) But even though she has a great body it made me realise that I'm never going to have a petite body no matter how much weight I lose. I don't know why I ever thought I would but I'm so disheartened after learning this.
And her waist! It's impossibly tiny! Even if I lose 15kg to get to her weight, I honestly can't see my waist being as tiny as hers. I made a loop on my tape measure the same size as her waist and held it next to my own. Hahahaha yeaaaaah I cannot see that happening.
So if anything good has come from this it's probably the realisation that the body I want is unobtainable no matter what I do. It's forced me to realise that I need to try and be happy with what I've got, right? Apparently a lot of women want to be tall? Strange but true haha.
But it also means I might not end up going to extreme lengths trying to get a figure that I can't get anyway. Probably.
If you got this far thank you for taking the time to read this rant. I had to get it out of the way so I appreciate my voice being heard <3
[Help] About to binge
/u/askthedustinstead
Created: Sun Aug 5 02:25:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94qga2/about_to_binge/
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Aaargh about to binge on a huge jar of Nutella and bars of chocolate my housemate bought without me knowing. HELP
[Rant/Rave] Going in to a clinic for inpatient treatment
/u/meineschatzi [165cm | CW: 58kg | BMI: 21.5 | GW: 52kg | 25F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 02:17:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94qf7z/going_in_to_a_clinic_for_inpatient_treatment/
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My health insurance waiting period is up as of Tuesday and Iām already on the waiting list. I feel really scared - I donāt have anorexia anymore, I donāt even know what I have - binge eating disorder? I donāt know. But I canāt live like this anymore.
I overdosed last weekend because I couldnāt be in this fat body anymore. Now Iām so close to getting help and Iām terrified. And I feel like such a fraud - if this had been four months ago I mightāve needed help, now Iām just a fat pig. I miss restricting, I miss losing weight, I miss people thinking I had cancer because I looked so sick.
Iām scared guys.
Weird to not feel hungry
/u/last_wills [5'3" | FtM | gaining :(]
Created: Sun Aug 5 02:11:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94qe89/weird_to_not_feel_hungry/
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After my first multi-day fast followed by another low restricty meal, I had a binge day today. At this point mu summer LW is probably just going to be 110 so Iām not going to be underweight and Iām going back to school super fat because I spent like 2 weeks binging and canāt seem to restrict well anymore š RIP androgyny dreams I feel pretty hopeless.
What I donāt feel is hungry and thatās so weird. Even the food porn doesnāt look that fantastic and my calorie consumption today was probably not that far above 2000? Clearly more than plenty but itās left me feeling so odd. Idk what to do now that I canāt obsess over my lack of food...
[Discussion] Not Hungry?
/u/RedPlaidPanda
Created: Sun Aug 5 01:38:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94q8v4/not_hungry/
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DAE not get hungry? I eat and I struggle with BED but not because Iām physically hungry. I eat because I love the way food tastes and then I purge because I hate the way it makes me feel. But even if I donāt eat all day when I finally do eat itās not because Iām hungry itās simply because I like the way food tastes and I get cravings for sugar and salt, or because everyone else is eating.
I was today years old when I learned
/u/smallgrl
Created: Sun Aug 5 00:58:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94q2ik/i_was_today_years_old_when_i_learned/
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https://i.redd.it/eeuly7yi38e11.jpg
I hate it when people call me small
/u/Arakance [5'2" | CW: 116lb | GW: 90lb | SW: 125lb | 19F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 00:57:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94q2cv/i_hate_it_when_people_call_me_small/
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It just feels like a sick cosmic joke, because I *know* I'm not small. Like yes, I'm short, but I'm not *small*. I'm tubby and chubby and maybe even cute the way pugs are but I sure as hell am not tiny. And yet!! A girl both shorter, lighter, and thinner than me in my jiu jitsu class (she's 5ft and 116 pounds) frequently tells the instructor that she can't go hard on me because I'm so small. And this happens so often it honestly just feels like she's making fun of me at this point. I'm fairly certain she even called me delicate at one point. Like *no*, delicate is the absolute last thing I am. I'm structured like a silverback gorilla. A legitimate ox of a girl. I've won over 50% of my arm wrestling matches with guys. I am not delicate, and it's a terrible mockery to say that of me.
Another time at the gym, putting on a belly pad (for kickboxing) and having to get my training partner to tighten it because it was too loose and she commented on how tiny I was. I almost just screamed right then and there. It's a belly pad for grown men of fucking course it's too loose for me. It'd be too loose even if I were 20 pounds heavier. The looseness of the belt is not any indication of my size and I honestly just feel fatter for her saying so, because now I'm thinking that hmm, I'm still able to wear a belly pad meant for someone much bigger than me. Guess that means National Geographic will be checking in to do a documentary on this rare land whale.
Also!! When another friend who is much much MUCH thinner than me (like she is probably underweight) just casually mentioned that we are probably roughly the same weight (there was acceptable context for this) and internally I was screaming because her and me both know this is a lie. I have at least 10-20 pounds on her. At LEAST.
God it's like every last thing is a reminder of my size. I keep saying things like "oh I'll get these pants when I lose a few pounds" or "I'll wear a bikini when I get abs!" and everyone around me must be holding their breaths thinking "oh no, should we tell her? That she's destined to be fat forever"?
I've been losing the same 5 pounds over and over and over again. C H R I S T when will this end.
Feel free to ignore my midnight crisis, what do you mean I'm having a mental breakdown, I'm going to a farmer's market in about 7 hours, life is great, I'm being wholesome and supporting the local community. ~~I haven't slept at all yet and I've done 130 pushups, somebody end my suffering pls.~~
[Rant/Rave] pools suck. feel defeated
/u/snakefat
Created: Sun Aug 5 00:55:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94q1zx/pools_suck_feel_defeated/
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long-ish rant ahead. don't feel safe sharing this with anyone
im in korea for the summer and ive been restricting lower than usual because everyone here is so fuckin beautiful and small and has great skin and ive never felt more disgusting.
i was told that im going to a water park with family friends in a few weeks and restricted even lower and added cardio (i usually just do weights) for the week leading up to it. i bought myself an overpriced robe-style cover up the day before as a "reward" for getting through the week
the day comes and i feel passable, a little bloated but honestly when am i not, and people decide to go to a buffet before we get to the park ??? i try to keep down my anxiety while eating my vegetable plate (200) and spending too long sitting in the bathroom and messaging my garbage thoughts to my partner.
we get to the hotel and i get bought ice cream (200) bc im still seen as a kid. my partner gets back to me and says that im becoming a little bit insufferable. i pretend to take a nap while crying silently while little kids bother me. i get up, put on my bikini, look gross (surprise), and dont put on my cover up because i forgot to pack it. i put a t shirt on and join everyone else.
everyone at the park is wearing rashguards or t shirts. there isn't skin anywhere. i get irrationally upset. despite everything, i still manage to look fat as fuck and out of place
i manage to put most of this aside while actually in the water (keeping kids occupied is pretty distracting)
im told to eat fried chicken (800) at the poolside. i feel too defeated to care anymore. we get back and shower before people bring in instant ramen and snacks. i have a mini binge (1300) on garbage while people talk about plastic surgery and exercise.
the next day, we go to another buffet for lunch (900) before separating. im back on my own and whaat the fuck is wrong w me. gonna try to fast until i feel taller than i am wide
how do you guys handle an ED?
/u/little_milkee
Created: Sun Aug 5 00:46:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94q0m4/how_do_you_guys_handle_an_ed/
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I don't have one but my weight and body still trigger tf out of me and make me feel awful, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to actually have an ED...
[Discussion] Tell me about the clothes youāre holding onto until youāre skinny enough to wear them
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 5 00:31:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94py4b/tell_me_about_the_clothes_youre_holding_onto/
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For me, itās skinny jeans. I have two pairs in a size 24 that I refuse to give away even though I never wear them. I can get them on but they look dumb because my hips and thighs are still so big. So that got me curious- what clothes are you guys holding onto that you really should give away but are keeping for when youāre thin?
What do?
/u/godonvideocall
Created: Sat Aug 4 23:54:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94prsy/what_do/
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Ok so first, I donāt actually want to be underweight anymore/again, I just wanna be like right on the edge. I guess thatās close enough to recovery.
Iām 5ā4.5ā 114 lbs. All of itās fat though, I lost a lot of muscle mass the first time around, and I donāt want to do that again. TDEE is ~1500. I just want to be at like 108-110 again, that was a sweet spot, but I donāt know how to do it healthfully and Iām frustrated with myself.
Any tips? Should I exercise (I donāt at all haha ew) and restrict, or just do one? Dumb question I guess, but I really donāt know what to do that wonāt make me lose ātoo muchā.
Sorry if this isnāt allowed. :)
Summertime blues
/u/captain_aardwolf
Created: Sat Aug 4 23:47:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94pqh6/summertime_blues/
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Iāve been feeling under the weather lately and Iāve been blaming it on the weather and external circumstances instead of looking at myself. I live in New England and itās been an especially hot summer. It sucks. The heat has induced a kind of lethargy in everyone when it comes to eating.
But my family has started to noticed that sometimes there might be a day or two that they donāt see me eat anything.
I kindly remind them that I listen to my body and eat when Iām hungry. And thatās the truth. I do eat, but I donāt eat much anymore and I certainly donāt eat when theyāre there.
And anyway, when you can get by without eating for a few days, the idea of feeling physically empty inside becomes something that you can manage. Just like you manage checking the daily weather report and your texts and your emails. And bravely listening to your familyās 23 voicemails because thereās always drama and sadness and you just shrug and sit there stoically. The stages of hunger become predictable. I wish I could remember a time when my life wasnāt governed by strict routine and predictable schedules and not everything was measured in ādecisions and revisions which a moment could reverse.ā
Black coffee
/u/n34543
Created: Sat Aug 4 23:30:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94pnlh/black_coffee/
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I've never had coffee because I'm scared of milk and sugar and calories. I really wanna try coffee without all that, so I guess black coffee? But I'm really scared of Starbucks screwing it up and putting something in it like one of the flavored syrups. How do I order the lowest cal coffee possible?
Sorry if this is a dumb question.
PSA: Almond Breeze on recall
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [bulimiaayy lmao]
Created: Sat Aug 4 22:18:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94p9nf/psa_almond_breeze_on_recall/
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[removed]
how to restrict while at overnight camp?
/u/BackgroundHole
Created: Sat Aug 4 21:46:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94p2q3/how_to_restrict_while_at_overnight_camp/
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those of you who have been to overnight camp while having a restrictive ed, what are your experiences? how did you manage without being able to check the calories in everything or weigh out your food? if you have any advice for restriction or general calorie estimation, that would be greatly appreciated <3
I hate myself
/u/Formal_Lie23
Created: Sat Aug 4 21:41:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94p1qh/i_hate_myself/
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ive been binging all day and i feel soo disgusting. i walked to the nearest supermarket and bought a big bag of chips and sugar cookies. im still tempted by the bag of half eaten chips on my bed.
[Discussion] Any fellow drunkorexics here?
/u/KMH039
Created: Sat Aug 4 21:39:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94p1ev/any_fellow_drunkorexics_here/
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What are your drinks of choice? Do you still manage to track the calories in the drinks? (Because I lose track around drink 2 or 3). How do you count drinks at bars? Basically share with me your drunk lives!
I've had a few at this point so sorry if this is out of place just delete it.
Hit my GW, and I'm still disgusting.
/u/LizE4 [5'3.5 | CW: 105 | BMI 18.3 | š butterscotchpanda]
Created: Sat Aug 4 21:27:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94oynt/hit_my_gw_and_im_still_disgusting/
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I told myself I'd maintain at 105 lbs because that was underweight. Skinny. A good weight.
I told myself I could recover again because oh, I wasn't so deep into this disorder this time.
I told myself I'd eat normally by September because I have school and work to focus on and I need my energy.
Haha well fuck that. I look in the mirror and I want to cry. My body is gross and fat and I don't care if I kill it.
So 100 lbs is my next goal, and then 90, and I know it still won't be enough. I will make myself smaller and smaller and I will still be huge and disgusting. I will fight tooth and nail anyone who tries to force me to eat or go into a clinic. I don't care about anything else anymore. I don't want to live with this body.
I've lost control. But really... did I ever even have control in the first place?
[Discussion] Curious: what matters more to you calorie intake or nutrient intake?
/u/bigbeyoncefan
Created: Sat Aug 4 21:17:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94owpv/curious_what_matters_more_to_you_calorie_intake/
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I have days where Iām obsessed with the amount of calories I put in but itād be really crappy food/drinks and other days (where I still restrict) I allow myself to have healthier/real food still under my calorie intake. I was just curious what yalls preferences is?
Can't sleep
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Sat Aug 4 21:04:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94otr2/cant_sleep/
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I have woken up with a sore and grumbling stomach and now I can't get back to sleep. I think my body is just not used to restricting again.
Maybe I will go downstairs and have a cup of tea to relax me enough to go back to sleep.
Woo what a wild Saturday night
"I feel good after eating, so I must have eaten too much"
/u/Call_me_Cassius [5'5" | CW: š | GW: 98lb | -30lb | M21]
Created: Sat Aug 4 20:55:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94orra/i_feel_good_after_eating_so_i_must_have_eaten_too/
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Does anyone else have this thought? My family went out to dinner, I got a black bean burger with just a bun, lettuce, and mustard, and I didn't even finish it, but I don't feel hungry and I feel less tired than before I ate so I can't shake the feeling that it must have been like 2000 calories and a just gorged myself. Like it's impossible to be satiated without going into excess. How do I shake it? How do I accept when I actually have eaten under my allowance, even if I don't feel starved?
[Rant/Rave] Iām the heaviest Iāve been in years
/u/noxadvena
Created: Sat Aug 4 20:47:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94opwl/im_the_heaviest_ive_been_in_years/
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And I feel disgusting. Iām a blob. I was almost at my goal weight last year and now Iām nearly 15kilos away from it and my nice clothes donāt fit and I just hate my body right now. I hate it so much. Someone actually told me I have a chubby face. And itās true. I donāt feel like I even look like myself. I hate when Iām this heavy.
So from tomorrow Iām starting to get serious. Iām restricting calories and Iām going to workout every day. Iām so mad at myself for bingeing my way back to this weight. I had everything I wanted... I was small... I want to be smaller.
It's so satisfying
/u/sucker_for_succor
Created: Sat Aug 4 20:37:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94onij/its_so_satisfying/
---
https://i.imgur.com/h87Zopq.jpg
[Discussion] I See You
/u/-Camellia-Sinensis-
Created: Sat Aug 4 20:33:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94oms0/i_see_you/
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Similar to that purging bumper sticker posted somewhere, sometimes I feel like I can see people wearing an eating disorder on their sleeve. Like today, I went to the county fair. I saw a SKINNY ass woman holding the hand of a young boy wearing an ironic shirt saying āfood babyā or something like that (something a big girl would probably wear to be funny) and she had no belly to speak of. Just twiggy arms and legs and a waist I could probably wrap my hands around. I wanted to say, like, who are you wearing that for?
Idk. Just made me feel like āI see you. And I hear you loud and clear.ā
[Rant/Rave] Hungover, depressed, and god I feel so fat
/u/dreamedotcom
Created: Sat Aug 4 20:33:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94omq0/hungover_depressed_and_god_i_feel_so_fat/
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I think me and my boyfriend are over. Heās been distant all week, I donāt know what whatās going on. Heās moved to another town and only comes home now on the weekend.
He stood me up for my Law Ball last night. Said he was sick, was coming down idk. So I went and got very drunk. Embarrassed myself so bad, donāt even want to go back to uni tomorrow.
He is sick of my eating disorder, he said he doesnāt want me to talk about it anymore. He is the only person irl who knows and he just wants to pretend it doesnāt exist.
I am so down. Earlier in the week I did a 3 day fast now Iām insatiable and canāt stop eating. Have been too scared to weigh myself. Donāt want to go to uni tomorrow. Iām just so alone. Want to starve myself till someone notices.
If I was transported into the world of Doctor Who, I would be my GW easy.
/u/VaguelyAmusedFairy [5'5 | CW133.8 | -4 | GW 120 ]
Created: Sat Aug 4 20:21:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ojzp/if_i_was_transported_into_the_world_of_doctor_who/
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An inordinate amount of time running, not a lot of time spent eating. The best part is you spend so much time focused on what's going on, getting out, or simply surviving- food is the last thing to be thought of.
Sorry, but I love DW and I feel like only this sub would get this part of it.
just binged for the first time in months, what now?
/u/stiltedly
Created: Sat Aug 4 20:07:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ogkz/just_binged_for_the_first_time_in_months_what_now/
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just made a separate account to post this im on my computer so i cant search but i just binged BAD for the first time in months, ive been restricting (eating \~700 a day) and i guess it just caught up to me but i feel SO guilty right now that it physically hurts. i weight myself on fridays and i NEED the number to be lower than this week. what should i do now to help?? whats the best way to eat tomorrow?? my stomach hurts and is so gross and im so so so guilty and scared this is going to fuck up my weigh in this week :((((
boy i sure do love trying on new clothes
/u/vulturepants [5'5 | SW: 175 | CW: still too much | GW: 115]
Created: Sat Aug 4 20:07:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ogfq/boy_i_sure_do_love_trying_on_new_clothes/
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ok so i got some new clothes despite everything in the world telling me not to and i tried them on tonight. and jesus fuck i am so disgusting and morbidly obese i fucking hate my repulsive body so much i literally looked like a walrus trying to shove its disgusting flabby body into a tube sock. nothing i bought looked good or even remotely acceptable on me but would have looked amazing on a skinny girl.
god i fucking hate myself and my disgusting body so much i wish i could just take a knife and carve all the disgusting flab off of my stomach and arms and thighs. i know people see me and think how glad they are that they're not me because i'm so fucking hideous. even though everyone here is supportive to my face i know you would all be gagging in disgust if you saw me. i feel like most girls that post here are already underweight or at least skinny yet i'm a bloated whale over here and no one takes me seriously because i'm so disgusting and hideous.
fuck everything. i hate myself and my disgusting body so much.
[Other] sums it up just right
/u/carbaholicc
Created: Sat Aug 4 19:58:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94oegw/sums_it_up_just_right/
---
https://i.redd.it/um72f7dyl6e11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I always eat too much on weekends
/u/tinygrl22 [5'1 | CW: 107lbs | 20.2 | 19F |]
Created: Sat Aug 4 19:58:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94oeg6/i_always_eat_too_much_on_weekends/
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My family always eats out on weekends for lunch and dinner and I always end up eating above maintenance calories which sucks bc I wanna keep losing!!! I feel like the whole week of restricting was for nothing every weekend bc of all the restaurants ugh :(
Feelings
/u/LnD13313
Created: Sat Aug 4 19:52:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94od5j/feelings/
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I am feeling like a blimp. I am so upset. Iām working out. Iām restricting. Iām cutting the soda and junk. Why am I staying the same......... if Iām binging I canāt remember. (Bad memory from ptsd) ššš
Whoās the last person you want to see when walking around a supermarket?
/u/72554
Created: Sat Aug 4 19:35:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94o9ad/whos_the_last_person_you_want_to_see_when_walking/
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I just walked into my dietician. In the biscuit/crackers aisle because I thought maybe I could get some saladas this week to try eat. Ahhh nah, I noped out of there so quick, stood in the drinks aisle staring at the iced teas for an eternity praying she wouldnāt come around the corner. Then I all but ran out of the shop with my coffee and milk. Guess Iāll buy food another day.
[Rant/Rave] Vegan Keto day 5/6- I hate myself.
/u/linedryonly [5'5"ā| CW 133 | SW 145 | LW 102 | GW 110]
Created: Sat Aug 4 19:24:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94o6v6/vegan_keto_day_56_i_hate_myself/
---
I binged big time over the weekend for literally no reason. Wasn't hungry, wasn't craving anything. It's like I saw myself succeeding and decided to self-destruct as efficiently as possible.
Also side note: DAE buy binge food and throw it directly into the trash? I can't throw up anymore because I desensitized my gag reflex. So lately I binge until I come to my senses, then count the calories of what's left and throw it in the trash. It's like a sad attempt to make myself feel better after ruining the whole week of good behavior.
[Discussion] Anyone else struggle with enablers and deliberate sabotagers?
/u/KittyMClaire
Created: Sat Aug 4 19:16:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94o53i/anyone_else_struggle_with_enablers_and_deliberate/
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I have been dealing with ED for a very long time and live with my grandparents because my parents passed away. I'm 20, and go to school and work. I am at a normal BMI weight (wanting to be in the 18s) but when I was losing weight (from obese, 300 lbs to 140!) my grandmother would constantly offer me foods, cook, buy junk etc. and make it extremely hard to get to where I am. Right now she is doing the same thing when I am still trying to lose more.
The thing is, my grandma is about 20-30 lbs overweight herself and ALWAYS complains about how she needs to lose a few lbs but never does, she's in her 60's and pretty young spirited and looking for her age so it is more like living with someone in their early 50's or late 40's. She definitely has low self esteem and ends up overeating and sabotaging her own diet.
What is upsetting for me I guess is that even at 300 lbs, desperately needing help, she still tried to bring me home sweets and whatnot. When I tell her I'm dieting, she starts to cook at home again and ask me a ton if I want something and really tries to shove food in my face and I can tell she does it more when I'm really trying to make a change. I still lost all that weight and the trauma from my parents deaths was definitely what drove me to such a bad compulsion. But it still bothers me so much that even to this day it's like she wants to 'compete' with me and try to sabotage me, while not taking control of her health, it hurts a lot that she didn't encourage me when I was losing in the first place when I needed to and instead try to shovel more food in my mouth. She tells me I'm beautiful now and is elated to help me pick out clothes but it's like a part of her wants to make me gain so I can be miserable again?? Idk it hurts to think about.
Do any of you deal with this? I'm feeling pretty alone in it right now which is why I bring it up, I don't have many people to talk to about these things and feel like the few people I do get TIRED of it quick and don't want to bother them even more.
I wanna scream
/u/apfrun
Created: Sat Aug 4 19:07:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94o2vb/i_wanna_scream/
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So I have braces right. Just got the wire changed so it painful to eat anything harrd. I go to the store and get chef boyardee ravioli. The front of it says only 220 calories which I think is a great deal. The past three days I've been eating this. About three cans. Today I decided to look closer at the label. "220 calories per serving. Servings: about 2". Are you fucking kidding me. I've eaten and extra about 660 calories without knowing it. They advertise it as "220 calories" nowhere does it say per serving unless you look close at the label. I guess this is my own fault for being a dumbass and not looking in the first place, but I'm so upset I just want to throw up all night even though it's too late to make any difference. I wanna binge tho I haven't exactly "binged" in a month and a half. But it's getting so difficult to resist. I just wanna fucking be out of the 170s already.
Just started watching Riverdale
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Sat Aug 4 19:05:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94o2j4/just_started_watching_riverdale/
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I can't.
Drunk and feeling like a failure
/u/myrtlewils0n [5'5" | CW: 120lbs | BMI: 20 | UGW: 110 | 22F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 18:47:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94nyca/drunk_and_feeling_like_a_failure/
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I've been in the low 120's since when I graduated college in May. I told myself in January before I graduated college that I would hit my goal weight before I got my diploma. I didn't.
I started an internship in June. I told myself by the end of my time there that I would hit my goal weight on my last day, in August. I won't.
I literally only want to lose 10 pounds, maybe a little more. Ten FUCKING pounds. But I can't? I can't drop. The lowest I've ever gone is 118 and that was never for more than a day, and never unless I fasted the day before.
I know it's as simple as calories in calories out. I KNOW this. And the fact that I know this means I'm even MORE of a failure because if you recognize the solution and acknowledge the problem, then why aren't you doing anything about it??? I feel like the most useless human alive. I can't even lose 10 pounds. I just stay stagnant, like a hamster on a wheel.
Another day, another binge.
/u/bluebirdhall
Created: Sat Aug 4 18:46:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ny7c/another_day_another_binge/
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I was doing well with IF but I fucked it up.
Binged on chickpeas sprinkled with onion powder, 3 tomatoes, spinach, grapes, and blueberries. All seemingly healthy foods but I bet I ate like 102882919 calories worth all together. Should I take like 3 glasses of laxatives or sit in bed and contemplate my life?
[Rant/Rave] I need to eat 700 calories a day to reach my goal in 3 weeks
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 116 |UGW 105| F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 18:43:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94nxjp/i_need_to_eat_700_calories_a_day_to_reach_my_goal/
---
Thatās definitely doable, but itāll be hard over vacation. I just needed to put this out there to hold myself accountable. 700 a day shouldnāt be too hard.
[Rant/Rave] Dear Eating Disorders:
/u/mellowyellowtop
Created: Sat Aug 4 18:40:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94nwq5/dear_eating_disorders/
---
Fuck you.
You've ruined my life for the past 6 years of my life.
I hate my life.
Handling Brunch at a Buffet While Fasting
/u/ClichedAnxiousWriter
Created: Sat Aug 4 18:37:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94nw1y/handling_brunch_at_a_buffet_while_fasting/
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Iām hanging out with my best friends tomorrow morning, and over the years, us hanging out has always meant bingeing. This used to be fine for me, but now Iām struggling; I havenāt had disordered eating for long, and after being away for months, I havenāt had to face them in a bingeing environment in awhile.
Tomorrow weāre going to a $25 buffet of fatty, sugary, high cal brunch foods. I tried to suggest other places and talk about how Iām trying to eat well, but everyone kept pushing this place and it made me feel like a bad friend for dampening the excitement.
Anyone have advice on how to deal with facing a buffet while fasting? Iām terrified Iāll go crazy and binge, especially since Iāve been doing well with fasting and OMAD (23 hours of fasting and a one hour window for meals) this week, and Iām so anxious Iāll ruin it by going nuts. Not to mention that when I binge even a little bit, my stomach feels AWFUL.
Any tips or advice to ease my severe anxiety over this would be so so so appreciated!
[Discussion] Anyone know of good online shops to buy smaller clothes?
/u/WantsToPetAllTheDogs
Created: Sat Aug 4 18:35:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94nvmx/anyone_know_of_good_online_shops_to_buy_smaller/
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Hoping this doesnāt violate the rules, but Iāve had a really hard time finding clothes in stores that fit or carry clothes in my size (5ā3ā, 104) that arenāt way out of budget. Anyone have any recommendations? I donāt know where else to ask :/
What are your favourite safe foods?
/u/jersler
Created: Sat Aug 4 18:31:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94nuun/what_are_your_favourite_safe_foods/
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Struggling to find foods that donāt make me feel like shit after I eat them, just looking for some new ideas.
i can't believe this. i just ate a raw onion because i'm so desperate for low calorie foods. an entire raw onion.
/u/justprettyconfused [5'4 | CW: 115 | GW: 100?? | 19F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 18:28:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94nu4s/i_cant_believe_this_i_just_ate_a_raw_onion/
---
fucking kill me
[Rant/Rave] We're so fucking lucky that water doesn't have calories
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 59kg (130lbs) | 19.9 | -0kg | F | 20yo]
Created: Sat Aug 4 17:52:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94nlas/were_so_fucking_lucky_that_water_doesnt_have/
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Can you imagine? I have a hard time drinking it anyway because it bloats me. If it had even 20cal per glass ya girl would be dead lol
[Rant/Rave] We're so fucking lucky that water doesn't have calories
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 59kg (130lbs) | 19.9 | -0kg | F | 20yo]
Created: Sat Aug 4 17:52:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94nlam/were_so_fucking_lucky_that_water_doesnt_have/
---
Can you imagine? I have a hard time drinking it anyway because it bloats me. If it had even 20cal per glass ya girl would be dead lol
[Discussion] I might lose weight over vacation
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 116 |UGW 105| F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 17:48:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94nkch/i_might_lose_weight_over_vacation/
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Weāre going to Seattle and two of the national parks which is 8 Miles in two days. Then just walking around the city. I just need to restrict to about 600-800 calories a day. Iām excited.
Hurtful comment from husband
/u/StarburnerRav [5' 10" |Trumps salary in lbs | -40 lbs | Male]
Created: Sat Aug 4 17:47:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94nka1/hurtful_comment_from_husband/
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I've been restricting a ton the last week or so and finally decided to try to eat like a normal person for a day. My husband and I slept in, so it was 11 when we woke up and he's been on a big Wendy's kick. He asked if I wanted anything as we left so I got a kids burger and it was the best thing ever.
Of course this meant I wanted to binge like no other and I tried my best to keep myself from going off the deep end all day. Finally 8pm rolls around and I ask if he's feeling hungry. He says yes and we start talking about what we want to eat. I'm having some intense urges to eat something and I'm just trying to get us to decide. After 10 or 15 minutes talking about it he blurts out, "Jeez are you hungry babe? You haven't stopped talking about it all day."
Well I immediately feel like shit and just want to curl up into a ball and fast or restrict until I disappear. I know it was just a joke to him, but ouch. Now I just feel like a food obsessed pig.
[Rant/Rave] Why do cheesy carbs get me every time :(
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Sat Aug 4 16:38:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94n3f8/why_do_cheesy_carbs_get_me_every_time/
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Iām such a hoe for lasagna. FUCK. Iāve been heavily restricting for the past few days (300-500) and today I was feeling really weak and wobbly and just shit, so I told myself I could have a decent dinner with my family rather than just vegetables or some shit. But I didnāt anticipate eating as much as I did š« I had a third of a lasagna, chips, and salad. It was literally hours ago and I feel so full and disgusting. Ngl, it was fucking delicious for the first quarter of the lasagna, then I felt like a pig but like hell was I wasting my favourite meal ever lmao. I feel gross :( Also I have so many celebrations coming up over the next week and a half that Iāll only be able to restrict in certain days :( but on a plus side ! I took an outfit pic earlier bc I thought the combo was cute (felt fat af like a whale tho lmao) but omg! I was wearing jeans and my legs look so thin - thereās even a slight thigh gap! This holiday weight is coming off slowly but surely
If you miss Ramune, try this instead.
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Sat Aug 4 16:09:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94mwg3/if_you_miss_ramune_try_this_instead/
---
https://i.redd.it/1yn8cch6h5e11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] First time purging and staying up late exercising while SO at home
/u/arteww
Created: Sat Aug 4 16:07:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94mvp3/first_time_purging_and_staying_up_late_exercising/
---
I finally did it. I went to the bathroom and purged even though my significant other is home. Our home is pretty small so it's almost impossible to hide anything here, but I think they didn't hear anything. It was too late to purge properly but I'm so happy I managed to do it. After that I opened YouTube and started exercising even as it was like 12 am at night. SO just gave me a kiss and went to sleep.
I've been really anxious and annoyed for the last couple of days because I haven't been able to do all the things I want to do regarding my eating and exercising while SO is home (at the moment they normally live in another city during the week) but now I feel hopeful. Maybe I can do this. SO knows about my issues with food but still they are so clueless...
Tomorrow is pizza day. My SO does these amazing homemade pizzas where they let the dough rest in the refrigerator for three days etc, and I absolutely have to eat them. Unfortunately they also taste awesome. Now I'm kinda hoping I can repeat the purge and go to the bathroom after dinner without SO paying any attention...
[Rant/Rave] Fucking takeaway
/u/jamiespiers01 [180cm | 67.1kg | 20.6 | 19.4kg | Male]
Created: Sat Aug 4 16:00:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94mu11/fucking_takeaway/
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Ordered a takeaway to be delivered cos I feel fucking shit and the cunts put mayo on my vegan burger so this shit is useless to me now. Also sent me a small can of Coke when I ordered a 1.5L bottle. Like get it right ffs. The dickheads are closed now too so Iām just stuck with this food Iām gonna throw away
[Rant/Rave] Bless being broke
/u/metaphoric_mayhem [5'6" | cw: 115 | 18.64 | gw: 114 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 15:54:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94msbk/bless_being_broke/
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I just had to buy a car so I can travel to my practicum in college and I'm officially broke. Nothing cures the urge to spend money on a bunch of food to binge (or food in general) like a lack of money!!
But honestly, I bought a car and had a panic attack and now my body can't stop shaking. I don't feel like I can eat but this shaking won't go away so I don't know what to do. My family has been screaming at me since I started freaking out so I can't ask them for help.
Sorry, just needed to rant.
Have you ever had a jittery episode?
/u/newforvevernever [5'6'' | CW 113.7 | GW 101 | WL 4 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 15:48:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94mr0m/have_you_ever_had_a_jittery_episode/
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It might be the coffee, but it might be a low food intake, not sure, be of the time gone by. I only drink caffeine on weekends, and this morning I had a cup and an energy bar. That was 3+ hours ago, and I've mostly spent my Saturday chilling out and watching shows. Suddenly I just started getting really shaky and a little flushed. I had a little to eat and calmed down a little. Still feeling jittery but not sure why. This ever happen to anyone else?
[Discussion] What aesthetic are you going for?
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Sat Aug 4 14:44:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94makj/what_aesthetic_are_you_going_for/
---
Obviously eds aren't all about weight and appearance, but most of us have a specific goal in mind (for whatever reason). I personally go through phases. Sometimes I want to be skin and bones, sometimes I want to be super strong, sometimes I want the typical "cardio bunny" body, etc. Right now I want a fit body, not just thin. I want some muscle mass, but I want to be tiny, does that make sense? What about you?
[Rant/Rave] T R I G G E R E D (by asian panties)
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 81lbs | BMI: 15-something | -?lbs| f]
Created: Sat Aug 4 14:27:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94m5ye/t_r_i_g_g_e_r_e_d_by_asian_panties/
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I ordered some panties off wish (6 pairs for six dollars, how could i not??) but oh, god, the sizing difference. Here in the US, i generally wear an XXS-XXXS, but i went ahead and ordered a medium based on the description of the clothing measurements.
Opened the package this morning.
They're all size large. It says right on the tag.
Cue my freak out thinking they won't fit, anxiety meltdown, etc. (I am not doing well financially and those six dollars were a SPLURGE goddammit)
Pull myself together and try em on.
They. fucking. fit.
Perfectly. Most comfortable underwear I've even worn. I can't even feel them on my body.
But that damn size large tag is just throwing me for a loop.
I know i'm not any bigger just because these have a different fucking letter on them than all my other stuff, but it sure as hell feels that way.
[Discussion] What is your ultimate goal weight?
/u/Nutellapples
Created: Sat Aug 4 14:23:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94m50o/what_is_your_ultimate_goal_weight/
---
I honestly want to be 100lbs or 99lbs but it's very hard and I'm currently 145lbs. At my height I'm hoping I can lose that much but who knows.
I'm finally coming out of the lurking shadows to say: all hail corelife eatery!
/u/GlitchModulator_
Created: Sat Aug 4 14:08:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94m120/im_finally_coming_out_of_the_lurking_shadows_to/
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First off, I have been lurking this subreddit for a while-everyone here is so nice and supportive! I have swung wildly between restricting and bingeing for years, and right now I'm in a so-far successful restriction phase, that now seems a lot less bleak and more sustainable...
I do omad, and today I went to corelife eatery and had a massive (as in history-of-bingeing-and-still-thought-it-was-massive), healthy meal for ~500 calories, that was both enjoyable (something that is never the case for me when I am restricting) and healthy (something that is never the case when I am bingeing). Plus, they have nutrition info on everything (dishes, salad dressings, etc).
Anyways, I was pretty damn pumped about it :) If I wasn't so poor I'd probably live there.
Also, just realized this post might sound a little promote-y/spam-y, which is not my intention. It's just the fact that something so stupid as finding a 'safe' restaurant made me so happy that I wanted to share with people who will understand/hopefully also benefit from it.
I'm almost there. I almost despise food.
/u/Highoffempty [5'9 | 143.3 | GW: 120 | UGW: 108 | Lbs Lost: 16.7]
Created: Sat Aug 4 13:25:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94lplr/im_almost_there_i_almost_despise_food/
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Recently food has been associated with horrible things. Standing in the kitchen furiously shoving it into my mouth and feeling like death....with a horrible stomach ache to remind me.
I've decided today to listen to the tempting thought in my head for weeks. I am consciously choosing to wreck any positive relationship I have left with food permanently.
This is sad. It's sad that it's come to this. It's sad that I no longer will allow myself to enjoy any food at all. It's sad that when my mom cooks anything in the future that I won't want it. It's sad that all the lovely childhood memories I have eating and enjoying food are just that...the past. They cannot be accessed. I won't allow myself to enjoy any childhood foods. It's gone.
In my head all along I've had a plan. Reach ugw then eat cute little foods and enjoy small portions and be tiny. But I realized I don't want that anymore. I hate food. I'm so angry at food for even existing. I despise it. I don't want it. I don't want to look forward to it. I don't want it to have any power over me. Everything has changed. I'll get to my ugw and probably keep losing because I don't even want to eat anymore.
I feel happiest when I'm not eating. I feel lightest when I have no food in me. I feel sharper every day that I don't eat. Water and diet coke is all that I'll allow positive pathways to form about. Empty is the only feeling I love.
[Discussion] DAE want to tell people whatās up and then just say āfuck itā?
/u/_Pulltab_ [:karma: 5'7"| 26.7| -25.8 | F :karma:]
Created: Sat Aug 4 13:22:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94loza/dae_want_to_tell_people_whats_up_and_then_just/
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I often see on other subs or in conversations where people talk about āstarvation modeā and how eating 1000 in one day is super bad for you and itās not physically possible for someone to eat less than 800 calories on a regular basis and sometimes I want to jump in and say, ābitch, pleaseā.
I know what Iām doing is unhealthy and I would never encourage someone to do what I do but these idiots who think they are doctors make me nuts.
Developing at ED when youāre already thin
/u/sadgab_ [5'8.5 | CW:120| GW: 114 | 19]
Created: Sat Aug 4 13:14:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94lmw1/developing_at_ed_when_youre_already_thin/
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I kinda hate the fact that I was thin to start with when this whole thing began because I feel like no one notices that Iāve lost weight, Iām down about 10-15 pounds since this started and people already knew me as the thin friend (cause Iām taller than all my friends and did gymnastics as a kid/teen which kept me thin) and Iāve gotten progressively thinner but I donāt think anyone has noticed and my dumb ED brain wants everyone to notice and for them to worry about me but they :) just :) donāt :)
I also hate that most celebrities and model are so so thin that people see that as normal and donāt realize itās unhealthy and to be seen as unhealthy you have to be thinner than them which I think is almost impossible for me mostly because I just donāt have the willpower to low restrict consistently enough
Anyone else relate??
My dog died and I'm using that as an excuse to binge
/u/slimynoodles [152cm | CW: 50kg | GW: 38kg | -18kg | F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 13:13:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94lmdr/my_dog_died_and_im_using_that_as_an_excuse_to/
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He got put down a couple days ago because he was really old and not doing well. I've been binging since then. I cried not only because I was (and am still) sad but because I felt guilty thinking I could've given him a better life. I could've been a better pet owner. I could've cuddled him more and played with him more. I made a promise to him and to myself that I will change.
But I can't stop binging and I feel like shit because I'm not going to reach my goal by the time I set for myself. I feel like I'm disappointing my dog. Is that silly? I don't know. I just keep telling myself its ok to binge because I'm mourning (but is it really though because in the end it just makes me feel worse?!?)
I can't exercise due to chronic illnesses and it's making me miserable.
/u/Snflrr [5'9| CW 245| GW 130| LW -25| Trans F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 13:09:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94lljx/i_cant_exercise_due_to_chronic_illnesses_and_its/
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I'd love to be able to bike or jog or whatever to accelerate weight loss, but the collagen in my joints is too fucked up to do anything at all. I cant even do yoga. YOGA. The single lowest-impact workout you can do. I just want to do something with the little bits of energy I get (cause I've got other chronic illnesses that cause me to be fatigued 90% of the time) instead of wasting it sitting around
What does your eating disorder taste like?
/u/deconcerte [4'11 | 117| 24.83 | -7 | 23F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 12:58:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94lib1/what_does_your_eating_disorder_taste_like/
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Mine tastes like the black sugar free McDonald's iced coffee. I used to have that as meals when I was at my LW. It's only five calories, but it tastes pretty good. There's definitely an artificial sweetener aftertaste though.
When I was at my HW and binging every day (literally this May), it would've tasted like the puffed cheetos, original flavor. I think I went an entire week where that's all I would eat for any meal. Thinking back on that literally disgusts me,,, lol
What about you?
Damn my work parties.
/u/kaypond
Created: Sat Aug 4 12:48:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94lfo2/damn_my_work_parties/
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Was doing so good until there's a party at work. How do resist bread. Donuts. Cake.
Woke up miserable, got worse
/u/UnderseaK [5'7 |cw:145lbs |BMI 22.7 | gw:110lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 4 12:46:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94lf7f/woke_up_miserable_got_worse/
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Warning: pointless rant ahead.
Last night my hubby called me out on my ED, and said he feels like it's gotten worse. Specifically, he said that he can see more of my collarbones. Of course, when I looked in the mirror I was sure that I am at least 20 pounds heavier than yesterday. I went to bed in tears and dreamed of being force fed yogurt by my mother and then having to watch my sister cook some sort of brown gook that looked disgusting and try to pressure me into eating it. Woke up panicky and just wanted to try and calm myself down. I got on the scale, expecting to see the same number I saw yesterday, and my scale flashed a number 2lbs heavier and then informed me that it had a low battery! So now I am still shaky from the dream, trying to avoid hubby, and freaking out because the scale said I gained... but it may not even be accurate because of the battery. The not knowing for sure is almost worse than if I knew for sure I gained.
Just...FML. I'm going to go down a diet coke and go back to bed until I can function like a human.
Does anyone else hide behind long hair?
/u/nvrgonnaleavethisBED [5'10"|too many|F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 11:51:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94l00b/does_anyone_else_hide_behind_long_hair/
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Today was my first haircut in over a year and while I know it looks objectively good I fucking hate it. It was so damaged it had to be cut from waist length to chest length, and now I look so much fatter because I don't have my giant shrub of hair to balance me out. I don't even like the work that goes into having long hair, but without it I look like a fat boy. Only skinny girls can pull off short hair.
[Discussion/DAE/Lighthearted] Out of context terms
/u/instantanarchy [5'3 | 132 | 24BMI | FTM]
Created: Sat Aug 4 11:43:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94kxue/discussiondaelighthearted_out_of_context_terms/
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I'm subscribed to a couple of decluttering forums and I see the word "purge" a lot in the context of clearing out garages and closets. It makes me do a double take every time!
Slightly related, not strictly ED, but the fountain pen subreddit I'm in uses the same acronyms as the BPDmemes subreddit - "NPD" for "new pen day" or "narcissistic personality disorder", and "FP" for "fountain pen" or "favourite person". It throws me off so much š
Anyone else find mental illness terminology in the wild and have to step back for a second?
[Rant/Rave] Left out on takeaway night...
/u/CharlieJScarper [5'0.5" | 93.2lbs | 17.8 | FTM:cat_blep:]
Created: Sat Aug 4 11:19:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94kre4/left_out_on_takeaway_night/
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You guys, I'm so conflicted. My parents ordered Chinese food while I was away at my grandparents' place (less than 5 mins away). They were eating it when I came home early after swearing that they wouldn't be ordering any takeaway at least for a month or two! But here's the rub... Obviously, I don't want to eat any because it wouldn't come in under my calorie budget by a LONG way, but they don't know that. They do know that it's one of my favourite ever things to eat.
Before I relapsed I would love to come home to a takeaway and it would have taken no time for them to text and ask if I wanted any! It sounds whiny but it was always something we would share and enjoy together as a family which is pretty special to me because we don't do a lot of that stuff. They clearly weren't expecting me home for at least another hour and judging by the guilty look on their faces they were obviously hoping to hide it from me. My mum tried to say that they didn't know where I was, which is just a flat out lie because I told her I would be with my grandparents this morning.
I feel really hurt over something so stupid. She even told me that any leftovers are hers for tomorrow so I can't have them. Why am I so upset over this when I would have felt horrible if I ate the food anyway? Really, I should be glad that I avoided it!
I'm so confused.
[Rant/Rave] Why is everything designed to make us fat!?!
/u/OFPalways
Created: Sat Aug 4 11:10:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94kon0/why_is_everything_designed_to_make_us_fat/
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Everything has a gazillion calories, there's almost nothing "safe" to eat, And seeing people eat so mindlessly just drives me up the wall!! I honestly feel like food in itself is a conspiracy theory lol. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling like I need permission to let loose this long weekend
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 10:48:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94kim0/feeling_like_i_need_permission_to_let_loose_this/
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Iām at the cottage again until Monday night - probably last weekend this summer. Last night I managed to keep my intake to 800 calories which is amazing because usually the first night gets out of hand. I skipped breakfast this morning - then the bowls of cherries and grapes came out. Which is ok - except now my SOās Chinese family showed up with traditional Chinese pastries and his sweet mother in law insisted I try each one. My SO subtlety split each thing with me but I still had half of 3 different small pastries. My stomach hurts and I have no idea how many calories it was - couldāve been 50 or 500 :( lunch is chicken and veggie skewers which I can roughly track and not feel bad about. And drinks. I just promised myself and my SO that I wouldnāt mention calories this weekend and itās still all I can think about. I was 92lbs when I left for the weekend.....donāt know what is āfairā to keep my calories at if Iām trying to let loose? Donāt know how many calories the little pastries I had were and thatās driving me nuts....still have dinner later and after a few drinks I tend to indulge more....im trying so hard to give myself a break. Can I really do that much damage in a few days? I keep asking myself that. Ugh. I feel so fat
Small victory, need motivation to keep it up.
/u/DistortionPuddle [5'7"|CW: 141.5|BMI: 22.2|GW: 125|31F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 10:33:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94kek5/small_victory_need_motivation_to_keep_it_up/
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I've been stuck in the mid 140s for like a month now and it's making me miserable. Yesterday, after a successful restricting day (like 650 all day), I got home and pulled out some frozen pizza. My post-work night binges are what have been keeping my weight so high. I went so far as to heat up the pizza, then I wrapped it in foil and put it in the fridge, brushed my teeth and went to sleep. When I woke up this morning I was down to 141.5 and I could have cried I was so proud. Almost to the 130s, gang! The trick today will be the day-after-successful-restriction overeating. I work in a coffee shop and when it's slow I have a hard time not getting into the pastries. Especially when I'm tired (slept like shit all week, so I'm super dragging and I just want to stuff my face with pastry).
Give me some motivation to keep it going?
I ate two mini cupcakes just now and I hate myself.
/u/CollarbonesCandybars
Created: Sat Aug 4 10:24:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94kc64/i_ate_two_mini_cupcakes_just_now_and_i_hate_myself/
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That's it really. They were in the breakroom, and I cracked.
I mean, they were 50 cal each. So that's 100 right there. And I had a small apple (60ish cals) and a square of dark chocolate (60) for breakfast.
So, I'm only up to 220. And I'm going to the gym later. But I'm so fucking scared I'm going to binge later. I want to be able to heavily restrict, I WANT to have the willpower to eat these tiny, dainty, 500 calorie dinners once a day and nothing else. But I fucking sabotage myself and then instantly feel huge. I mean, I haven't purged in...like a month? I've been really good about that. But I still have occasional binges, and I've been hovering around the same weight for MONTHS, and I just fuckinh hate my body. I'm smaller, but now my stomach has these weird lines/folds coming out from my belly when I bend over, and my boobs are deflated, and I am about to fucking cry right now oh god.
[Help] Lidl?
/u/croutonhoe
Created: Sat Aug 4 10:23:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94kbug/lidl/
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This is kind of a broad question too (and as a Finn I have 0 idea) but do any of you have a Lidl nearby? I know it is in Europe at least, but is it in the US? And if you do, can you recommend low calorie foods or foods that you eat that you can get there?
What's the most accurate TDEE calculator online?
/u/BIueJayWay [5"3| CW:107 |GW: 102 |BMI:18.9 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 10:21:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94kbbh/whats_the_most_accurate_tdee_calculator_online/
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[Help] How to get out of dinner? But down to get drinks!
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Sat Aug 4 10:20:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94kb1w/how_to_get_out_of_dinner_but_down_to_get_drinks/
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So my friend wants to get dinner tonight. How do I tell her I donāt want to go out to dinner but I donāt mind grabbing drinks later?
[Rant/Rave] DAE have a really slow metabolism/weight loss?
/u/netflixandnothing [156cm | CW: 57.7kg | GW: 50kg | WL 6.2kg | F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 10:11:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94k8j9/dae_have_a_really_slow_metabolismweight_loss/
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I have a thyroid condition so I know mine is slow. It's so annoying because I feel like if anyone else were to eat like I do the weight would drop off quickly.
I have 500-600 cal a day. Once a week I'll binge but I fast on the weekends to balance it. But I'm only losing 2kg a month on that :(
Idk... maybe I should eat less than that. I'm just so sick of being at this weight.
i just want all of you to listen to nicole dollanganger
/u/partyintheurss
Created: Sat Aug 4 09:55:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94k47b/i_just_want_all_of_you_to_listen_to_nicole/
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most of her songs are about eds and body dismorphia
š„
/u/dying2bThinx
Created: Sat Aug 4 09:40:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94k0cd/_/
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https://i.redd.it/4c5o2hqgj3e11.jpg
[Goal] Phentermine
/u/DelusionalCat
Created: Sat Aug 4 08:57:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94jpgt/phentermine/
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I got some and Iām so excited. I barely eat anyways (lack of interest in food) and Iāve lost 13 pounds without using phentermine, so Iām expecting my weight loss to plummet like never before. My starting weight was 230 (I know, thatās huge and Iām still huge) so I think thatās what started my ādisordered eatingā, just getting scared as fuck at the scale. Wish me luck guys! :)
[Rant/Rave] YOU GUYS IM IN THE BMI 18s
/u/blazeroftrails [5'6 | 119.7 lbs | GW 105]
Created: Sat Aug 4 08:17:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94jfpo/you_guys_im_in_the_bmi_18s/
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Iām so happy rn! Iāve been eating at a normal deficit the past few days and it feels so shifty but I weighed myself this morning and my weight is 117.7!!!
[Discussion] DAE feel weird about IG models whoāre CLEARLY underweight advertising their meal plans?
/u/hemera-ilios [21 F| 6'0| CW 150.0| BMI 20.34| HW 185| GW 120]
Created: Sat Aug 4 08:16:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94jff3/dae_feel_weird_about_ig_models_whore_clearly/
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For example, (not to call out anyone, just to demonstrate that this does in fact happen), steqhs, whose pictures are regularly posted on r/thinspo. Especially when you have to pay for them.
I try not to look at them because theyāre really triggering, so I donāt know if theyāre usually healthy or not, but itās like... if the meal plans are healthy and instruct people to eat a healthy amount of calories, then the personās never going to achieve the kind of body which the model is using to sell the plan. If itās not, then theyāre just straight up encouraging people to starve themselves to look like them. Either way, theyāre capitalising on the fact that people who have disordered tendencies will want to look like them, which feels gross.
Idk if this is a problematic mindset for me to have, or if I have a chip on my shoulder about it or something, jw what others think about it
[Rant/Rave] Wearing a different style of shirt today
/u/httpram
Created: Sat Aug 4 07:59:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94jb1r/wearing_a_different_style_of_shirt_today/
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iām about to go to summer camp so i decided to wear a see through pink shirt with shorts! Iām not sure if i look bad in it or not but its comfortable and im feeling pretty ok wearing it so iām happy!!
[Rant/Rave] Hadnāt bp in three days and then decided to do it tonight...before a photo shoot š
/u/edthrowawayy123
Created: Sat Aug 4 07:58:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94javy/hadnt_bp_in_three_days_and_then_decided_to_do_it/
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Hello puffy cheeks. Goodbye emotional stability.
Victory yesterday!
/u/EDthrowaway8888 [5'6 | CW: 146.4 | BMI: 23.5 | Weight Lost: 19lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Aug 4 07:28:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94j4bz/victory_yesterday/
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I had two people compliment me on my weight loss progress yesterday. It felt awesome. Objectively speaking, I'm still fat, it just encouraged me to know someone noticed. And now I can't wait for the day that I am *actually* thin.
After that, I ran a 5k race and even though my friends were encouraging me to grab a beer, food, or ice-cream after, I was still riding on cloud 9 from the compliments and didn't want to fuck my day up, so I said no and drank sparkling water. I ate just under 800 calories. I should eat around 1000, I just couldn't get there yesterday. 800 didn't feel like enough. I was slightly dizzy after the race and didn't finish at my goal time, which I was disappointed about. But then I realized, I'd rather be thin than be fast. That's a little messed up, but oh well.
Also, as a random final aside: I think I'm obsessed with the Happy Scale app. I love checking it several times a day just to look at my improving trends, see when it projects I'll hit x weight, and look at the graphs that show my losses so far. Anyone else hooked? I'm going to Thailand in a few months and at my current rate, I'll hit 130.8 by the time I go, to which I say "challenge accepted" and am determined to get to the 120's.
[Rant/Rave] Iāve been the same weight for 5 days.
/u/speedayyyy
Created: Sat Aug 4 06:40:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94iui7/ive_been_the_same_weight_for_5_days/
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AAAHHHHGGGGGG!!!!!!! It makes no sense! I eat under 200 fucking calories a day and work out every day but Iām STUCK. Fuck.
Oh god why do cashews taste so good
/u/EternalVertigo
Created: Sat Aug 4 06:27:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94irxa/oh_god_why_do_cashews_taste_so_good/
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Binging on them right now. Have consumed 100g+ kill me pls
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! August 04, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 4 06:11:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ios8/stupid_questions_saturday_august_04_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for August 04, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! August 04, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 4 06:10:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94iooh/daily_food_diary_august_04_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 04, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] When did health become secondary to your appearance and what do you hope that appearance can provide you with that you don't currently have?
/u/dontchaserabbits
Created: Sat Aug 4 05:32:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ihu2/when_did_health_become_secondary_to_your/
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i feel as if my UGW isn't sustainable
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 110 |HW: 134|UGW: 105|F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 05:25:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94igl5/i_feel_as_if_my_ugw_isnt_sustainable/
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yesterday evening i weighed in at 110 exactly. i was away from my scale for a while, i fasted all day and came home to 108. this is my lowest weight i've ever been at, i still don't really feel awesome about my body but it's kind of scary to be so close to my ugw? i'll fit into a size 2ish around then, but i kind of don't want to buy size 2 jeans because i feel like i'll end up recovering and then i'll have jeans that will remind me of when i was smaller. i'd honestly love to maintain 105 but something tells me i won't be able to. i don't know. i think 105 was my ultimate goal because i kind of thought i wouldn't be able to get there but now that my bmi is in the 16s i'm a little worried about what my future will look like. i just don't want to buy a whole new wardrobe if i'm just going to gain all the weight back. i guess i'm just conflicted because i'm not as happy as i thought i would be at this weight and i'm not really sure i feel safe enough to lose more
[Humor] Watch "The Butterfield Diet Plan - Peter Serafinowicz - BBC Two" on YouTube
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Sat Aug 4 04:36:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94i8mu/humor_watch_the_butterfield_diet_plan_peter/
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https://youtu.be/1NjTWvl8x-U
[Rant/Rave] Age doesn't make it easier
/u/library-cat [5'6" | 132 | 21.3 | 22F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 03:52:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94i1qy/age_doesnt_make_it_easier/
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I'm supposed to go to a pool party tonight - swimming, drinking, a bonfire, the works. When I was first invited I was really looking forward to it but now I'm just going to cancel. I tried on my swimsuit and I look like a hot mess. Fat wobbly thighs, legs covered in bruises and scrapes and bug bites. Maybe if my skin was decent I would still go but I pick constantly so it looks really bad right now.
I realized earlier I'm right back to where I was as a chubby 13 year old who was too insecure to wear a swimsuit. I'll be 23 soon and my thought process is still the same. The idea of being exposed in a swimsuit and letting the world see my blemishes and fat is mortifying. I really thought I'd grow out of this l. I really thought I'd stop ripping at my skin when I'm anxious, and that I'd stop the endless binge/restrict cycle that's taken up so much mental space. I'm disgusted by my body. I'm thinner than I've been in years and I still feel repulsive.
I guess it's not even really about the party, it's more the fact that THIS is why I'm not going. I'm still that 13 year old at heart. I'm still so ashamed. It really really sucks.
I feel disgusting
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Sat Aug 4 03:35:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94hz5s/i_feel_disgusting/
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I have really jumped so far back into restriction and guilt cycles. I've had two days where I've gone over my allowance. One from alcohol and the other from hangover binging. I'm proud that I didn't purge yesterday, but I think I probably had 4000 calories and I feel awful. Part of me almost wishes I did purge. Fuck
I was meant to go away with a friend today but I cancelled because I didn't want to be in a situation where I'm tempted to binge again and I feel so awful in all of my clothes.
I'm going to have a day of working out and ensuring I at least undo some of the damage.
I hope you all are using a throwaway email for your reddit accounts :(
/u/Evianspelledbackward
Created: Sat Aug 4 03:31:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94hygc/i_hope_you_all_are_using_a_throwaway_email_for/
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https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-45040804
I feel like I'm too fat to get a haircut lmao
/u/cortizonegnome [5'3" | 112 | 19.8 | GW 94 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 4 03:04:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94hugf/i_feel_like_im_too_fat_to_get_a_haircut_lmao/
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Ok so I've been on the fence about having short hair for YEARS. Like literally I've gone back and forth on the topic for the past three years. My thing is I want a blunt chin length bob with bangs (ex. https://channel-korea.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/GFRIEND-Eunha.jpg ). However, I am not a tiny asian girl--the kinda girl all the stereotypes say I should look like. Instead, I am a chubby sized n chubby cheeked Asian girl with an exceptionally average to ugly face. I can't picture this haircut on me and furthermore I feel like I don't *deserve* it because I'm not cute enough to have such short hair. Idk I'm just ranting I guess. Like I logically know it's just hair it'll grow back and I have the same face anyways it won't change just bc I'm changing the hair on top of it but I just afsdoif. I just want this haircut it's so cute T-T. I just don't feel cute enough to deserve it. I feel like I need to be at Least ten lbs down to deserve it and actually look cute with it
[Rant/Rave] A rollercoaster of a day
/u/landfill7707
Created: Sat Aug 4 02:42:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94hr5e/a_rollercoaster_of_a_day/
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I binged hard during lunch and purged about half of it. Skipped dinner, baked cupcakes, and had two of those (~120 kcals), purged those up.
Had a caffeine pill in the morning and then after lunch and now Iāve been at the gym for 3 hours and feel like Iām going to pass out but Iām scared that if I go home Iāll just binge.
DAE get discouraged to lose weight because of parents?
/u/croutonhoe
Created: Sat Aug 4 02:12:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94hmgh/dae_get_discouraged_to_lose_weight_because_of/
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I still live with my parents, and they love to point out that i eat too often/too much EVERYDAY. It doesnt even make me want to lose weight, i just get sad and binge.
Unsure if this is the right place for it, but I have some horrible body dysmorphia that's associated with gaining rather than losing weight.
/u/VeryTilted
Created: Sat Aug 4 01:45:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94hi6d/unsure_if_this_is_the_right_place_for_it_but_i/
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So I'm not sure if this fits under the proED subreddit, but I restrict my calories heavily, and any body fat on me is painful to see and I tend to punish myself by not eating for exercising more.
Here is where my issue stands, I'm a 20 year old male, hovering around 72kg.
I have a huge issue thinking that I'm underweight and too skinny, so I need to eat more to put on weight with the exercise that I'm doing, but as soon as I see fat on me, I'll stop eating etc.
I've followed this subreddit for a while and rarely see a story like this, mods remove if this is the wrong place for this kind of post, thanks all.
I guess Iām binging tonight
/u/ViceIsNotNice
Created: Sat Aug 4 00:26:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94h4h7/i_guess_im_binging_tonight/
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My mom knew exactly what I was up to when I said I wasnāt hungry at lunch. She took me aside and told me she was going to force me to eat dinner. And then she did. So here we are! Thanks mom!
Is it even possible to follow certain tags on Tumblr anymore?
/u/NoArticle1
Created: Fri Aug 3 23:39:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94gvh0/is_it_even_possible_to_follow_certain_tags_on/
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Maybe I'm late to the game here? I hadn't used Tumblr in like 5 years but I recently made a new account to follow a blog that someone recommended.
I don't want to name any tags for fear of breaking certain rules, but now when I search for certain tags Tumblr just asks me if I'm ok, and no matter how many tags I follow my dash actually ends up getting filled with like, #puppies and #encouragement and #positivity.
Like what the fuck Tumblr just let me do me
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone feel like their ED is invalid because they're fat?
/u/PM-MEYOURDICKPICS
Created: Fri Aug 3 23:36:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94guoc/does_anyone_feel_like_their_ed_is_invalid_because/
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It's been 8 years since I developed my eating disorder and I never lost weight but only gained.
My own mother even told me when i said "I think I have BDD" that "no you're just fat" - my weight for her was always something she would say and know it would hurt since 5th grade.
I don't feel like anyone worries or should worry about me because I'm overweight, it hurts to think that but it's the bitter truth. No one worries about me because I'm overweight and I don't worry about myself either.
They saw signs of my chew and spit, bulimia and knew I wasn't eating so they stoped cooking for me : but they didn't say a word.
Even to me I feel like my ED is invalid and I don't need help. I'll never be beautiful enough to get help, all I'm told is that if I lost weight I'd be beautiful and I'm not ugly, just fat.
I get so fucking mad thinking about it, my family doesn't even fucking care about me my own father told me I was "so beautiful when I didn't eat" because I gained 40 pounds when I wasn't anorexic anymore.
They saw the signs but ignored them, I don't know if I should be happy that when you're fat hiding eating disorders is easy or pissed off no one cares.
I'm not doing this for anyone but myself but god, why can't someone care for once?
[Discussion] Holy shit men are brutal
/u/everlastingethereal [5'4.5" | LW: 96 | HW: 115 | CW: 109 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 23:12:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94gq1f/holy_shit_men_are_brutal/
---
[https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2dewjr/offtopic\_fat\_chicks\_how\_many\_of\_you\_guys\_have/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2dewjr/offtopic_fat_chicks_how_many_of_you_guys_have/)
"The worst is when they say "You have a great body" as though pointing it out will make *you* want to fuck *them*. Uh, yeah, thanks. This is what it looks like when you bust your balls at the gym and weigh your food every day. You clearly don't know what that's like, so excuse me while I go charm up a storm with that girl whose hipbones are peeking out from under her shirt and making me drool."
"Don't fuck fat girls, you rob them off the motivation they need to get their health in order. Your validation is basically killing them."
Men lust over BMI 16 girls without even realizing the mental and physical torture that it takes for most of them to get to that point.
[Rant/Rave] Always thought I had a big ribcage...
/u/fuckingupleftnright [5'7" | 117lbs | 18.32 (old), 18.26 (new)| -33 | F | gw: 115/110]
Created: Fri Aug 3 23:10:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94gpg7/always_thought_i_had_a_big_ribcage/
---
But just got fitted for a bra for the first time in 2 years. An 8E is slightly too big around the band (I'm in aus) and I should get a 6EE but they don't sell that.
I guess I no longer have the "big ribcage " excuse. I CAN ook like my favourite thinspo I'm just too fat. Must lose more now...
Figured out why my face looks strange in pictures...Lanugo and how it crept up on me.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Fri Aug 3 22:25:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94gfyg/figured_out_why_my_face_looks_strange_in/
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In recent pictures my face looks like shinny or glowing on the sides but in an odd way. I haven't been taking many pictures of myself except for body checks and this was like a WTF! I look like a wacko a doodle!
I have really light hair and I have noticed some extra hair growth on my face going down the sides and onto my neck. Like I said I noticed it became more prominent when applying makeup. I even watched people on youtube who shave to get better makeup application and then I was like nope. No one seems to notice, but the camera does.
Fast forward a month and summer pictures and ish show a radiant glow of blonde hair on the sides of my face!!!! ahhhh Oh, let me tell you it looks greattttttt. I looked it up and I guess I have lanugo. I knew about it but for whatever reason I thought of it as like growing a whole body of fur or something idk why. But yep, I am growing golden fur now. Woot! If only it actually kept me warm.
[Help] Got caught stealing my roommates clothes.
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Fri Aug 3 22:13:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94gdav/got_caught_stealing_my_roommates_clothes/
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I got caught stealing her clothes and I think itās bc of my ed. I was so jealous of how small she is and I just wanted to try them. And now she saw it in my bag. Fuck idk what to do...
[Rant/Rave] I almost died because I was too weak to cross the street
/u/motivation-cat
Created: Fri Aug 3 22:07:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94gbvs/i_almost_died_because_i_was_too_weak_to_cross_the/
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I was crossing the road with my dad today (we were walking my dog) and he ran to the other end because a car was coming. I tried to run, too, even though today Iāve only eaten 200 calories, and...
My legs just collapsed on me.
I was too fucking weak to run to the end of a road. While a car was coming.
My dad ran and got me up and asked what the hell happened. I just said I slipped on the road. I could literally see white sparks in my vision and my entire world was spinning. The car passed over the spot I was kneeling in a few seconds earlier.
And yet I wonāt stop restricting. I HAVE to get skinnier. I HAVE to lose more weight. I refuse to even consider recovery till Iām super underweight. Even if it puts me in the hospital.
[Help] questions about psyllium fiber capsules
/u/angelic-rose [š¹ 5ā6 | 130 | 21.59 | 19F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 21:11:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fzt5/questions_about_psyllium_fiber_capsules/
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how many should i be taking a day? the serving size is 5 capsules which seems excessive. i usually eat 1-3 times a day, if that matters.
and assuming that iām supposed to take them before eating, how long do i wait to eat? i got these to avoid overeating as well as keep me regular
thanks in advance ; ;
Is anyone around to chat?
/u/ragamuffin_77
Created: Fri Aug 3 21:03:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fxyv/is_anyone_around_to_chat/
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I am having a bad day, week whatever and I am looking for anyone to talk to about messed up eating stuff. I just promised my therapist I will work on my ed and I am freaking out
[Discussion] I started purging again :(
/u/JeffBezosBunghole
Created: Fri Aug 3 20:56:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fwdq/i_started_purging_again/
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Almost 2 years of progress and I've fallen into old habits. I know how bad it is for me, but it's so easy to do. It allows me to eat normally with family. They won't suspect I'm starving myself, and I can fool them into thinking I'm eating a lot. I'm disappointed in myself right now but I guess I'm not as recovered as I thought I was.
I set such high standards for myself itās kind of killing me
/u/blazeroftrails [5'6 | 119.7 lbs | GW 105]
Created: Fri Aug 3 20:52:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fvid/i_set_such_high_standards_for_myself_its_kind_of/
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I just realized that Iāll never be fully satisfied with myself and my accomplishments. Iāll never be skinny enough, my gpa will never be good enough, Iāll never have a healthy relationship, Iāll never be confident that other people like me. Even if Iām not objectively doing badly I always think Iām not doing as well as I should. If I donāt get into Cornell or Columbia or Imperial College I donāt even know what Iām gonna do.
My life is actually okay rn and Iām feeling sorta happy and just wanna talk about it
/u/blazeroftrails [5'6 | 119.7 lbs | GW 105]
Created: Fri Aug 3 20:48:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ful8/my_life_is_actually_okay_rn_and_im_feeling_sorta/
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Things arenāt as shitty lately. I got a summer job that has been going well and they offered me a position in the fall. Iām starting at a new school in a few weeks that will hopefully be way better for my mental health and let me do more things I enjoy. Iāve been being at least sort of social (trying to hang out with friends at least twice a week) and next week Iām taking a little trip to go see my niece and go to her first birthday party. Whatās going on in your life rn?
Hoooly shit Kaia Gerber
/u/blazeroftrails [5'6 | 119.7 lbs | GW 105]
Created: Fri Aug 3 20:43:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fti1/hoooly_shit_kaia_gerber/
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Iām not usuallly one to call somebody anorexic from looking at photos but goddamn her BMI canāt be more than 15.5 and sheās lost recently. Itās really concerning tbh. Iām still using her as thinspo tho and I feel shitty about it but using somebody my age is more motivational
[Rant/Rave] I hate purging
/u/landfill7707
Created: Fri Aug 3 20:30:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fqhv/i_hate_purging/
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Or rather I hate feeling like I have to purge and eating so much that I feel that way in the first place. I used to be your run of the mill anorexic, restricting to feel in control but now I canāt even restrict properly but Iām also new to this whole bulimia thing so I canāt even get over myself purge completely. Iām ruining my body and my mind isnāt much better at this point, I just want to be healthy and happy with myself but I donāt see that happening any time soon.
[Rant/Rave] Whoelse does not deal with not getting what they want well?
/u/0kcalHaldol
Created: Fri Aug 3 20:29:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fqcn/whoelse_does_not_deal_with_not_getting_what_they/
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Ok, so a few days ago I applied for the Asset Protection Associate (APA) position at my Walmart (I am a cashier currently).
Well today I went to clock out at the time clock after work and the sign with all the positions they were hiring for were gone.
I just feel so bummed, like OK I guess I will go back to my life goal of being 50 lbs/22.67 kg...
IDK what I was even thinking applying anyways tbh. Iām just a worthless fatass.
Iām not smart enough to be anything I wanna be tbh, I honestly wish I had access to barbiturates so I could just end my life.
(Note: PLEASE do NOT say, āoh I am sure they picked you,ā as I did not even get a interview for the position, so they did not pick me.)
Back at it again.
/u/jazledisko
Created: Fri Aug 3 20:22:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fowu/back_at_it_again/
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I never thought id be back in this position again having avoided my disorder for the last few years, but after trying everything in my power to be healthy and care less about calories and more about life ive gained at least 10kg and feel fucking gross. So we're back in action and after an ok day yesterday that was quickly spoiled by a LOT of alcohol im now about 15hrs in to an attempted 24hr fast.
I was just curious to know how on earth do you deal with the drunk munchies? I love being drunk but every time i drink i wanna eat everything and it kills me.
Anyway wish me luck guys, its good to be back cause it's barely been 2 days and i feel so in control. Kinda sad but ive sorta missed this.
[Help] Can I get some reassurance from a recovery viewpoint?
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 88.6lbs| 14.2 | Male]
Created: Fri Aug 3 20:01:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fk3x/can_i_get_some_reassurance_from_a_recovery/
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So, I'm recovery-oriented, I guess. I need to stop losing weight, I need to eat more, I'm sick of this bullshit blah blah blah.
I didn't eat dinner until 8:30 last night, and had a snack around midnight; slept in until 10 this morning, went to work, didn't eat until after 4pm. I actually followed my full meal plan for dinner (to the extreme, having a spinach feta wrap from Starbucks and a sweetened grapefruit greek yogurt), so I'm very very anxious about eating anything "extra" tonight. But because I didn't have breakfast or lunch, the exchanges I had for dinner actually went towards those meals and I still need to get in the rest of my meal plan. Is this accurate? I'm pretty sure I know what my dietitian would say ("yes it doesn't matter what time, you need to get in everything"), and I know I'm still under 1200kcal (as I've been for over a week), I just hate stuffing everything in at the end of the day; even when I'm still in a deficit, it feels awful.
Anyone else share these dysmorphic difficulties?
/u/recallprobs
Created: Fri Aug 3 19:53:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fi91/anyone_else_share_these_dysmorphic_difficulties/
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Does anyone else look at pics of themselves from a few months ago and think they look awesome? Same stats as I am now but itās like the time between it made me see how I actually look. Like how did I think I looked fat when I at that point? I literally donāt understand how I saw what I saw. The irony is Iām still going through the same thing now! But my brain somehow thinks itās different every time.
I feel like my emotions or preconceived perceptions about my body are so strong that they literally change what I see in the mirror at that moment.
Anyone else struggle with seeing the right image? I think this also goes along with this- I take lots of selfies & obsess over it (not in a good way- like a trying to figure out how i look way) but refuse to be in pictures where Iām not the one taking it.
[Rant/Rave] Being short ruins everything.
/u/skinnieroncedead [4'11/87 lbs/17.6]
Created: Fri Aug 3 19:36:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fegi/being_short_ruins_everything/
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I feel like I'll never truly appear thin despite how much weight I lose, even if other people consider me skinny and I'm medically underweight. I was looking at thinspo of people with pear-shaped bodies and it makes me miserable knowing I'll never come close to looking anything like them due to the fact that all of my features are fucking compressed due to my height. I know there are people who want to be short, but nobody wants to be as short as I am. At this point, there are no benefits to being short/petite anymore. Being under 5'0-5'1 is a permanent curse.
How many of you guys have tattoos?
/u/Atsugaruru [4"10 | CW : 126 | 20F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 19:36:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fee2/how_many_of_you_guys_have_tattoos/
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I'm asking because specifically I want to know how they affected your body image, and how your distorted body image affects how you view your tattoos.
I want to get one as a reward for when I hit a normal BMI, but I'm worried that my body dysmorphia and depersonalization will make me hate anything I'd get. I hate my body so much and I'm repulsed by it. But on the other hand, I think getting a piece of artwork on something I hate so much (my body) might help me feel more at peace with it.
I don't expect a tattoo to heal my body image, but I've been making a lot of progress towards accepting myself and my appearance. Getting something permanent like a tattoo would I think help me a little in learning to love and celebrate myself. I'd love to know what your experience with tattoos and your body image have been :)
strength training while restricting??
/u/biblicalirony [5'3 | cw: 174 | hw: 234 | lw: 170 | gw: 115 | 15f]
Created: Fri Aug 3 19:26:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fbyt/strength_training_while_restricting/
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so im required to fulfill an athletics requirement for this school yr and i chose to do a strength training class which im super excited about bc gotta get toned yaknow!! but im wondering: is it possible to restrict my calories to <1000cals and still gain muscle mass while losing weight? my initial plan was to wait til i was at least at a healthy weight to start doing weights and all that but im scared that doing it now might delay the process and all the work will be for nothing if im gonna lose the muscle i end up gaining.
hopefully this isn't a dumb question but D:
(Rant/Rave) I'm pregnant and it's driving me crazy
/u/veronica_autumn [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Fri Aug 3 19:20:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94fakn/rantrave_im_pregnant_and_its_driving_me_crazy/
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I'm almost 12 weeks along with a very wanted baby but the fact that I have to gain 40-45 pounds by the time I give birth is eating me alive. I want to be a good mother but the weight gain is going to make me unsightly. I'm so scared of everything right now.
[Rant/Rave] White Claw FTW
/u/foodlion12
Created: Fri Aug 3 19:06:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94f797/white_claw_ftw/
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Happy Friday night loves! I picked up White Claw on the way home from work because I've had a hell of a week starting OMAD and because work was super stressful. I'm feeling pretty good and my husband just "scolded" me for being drunk but IDGAF because I'm happy finally. Only 100 cals per can!!!
I'm going to hella restrict when I get back to school
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" |CW 116 |UGW 105| F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 18:22:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ewkp/im_going_to_hella_restrict_when_i_get_back_to/
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I plan on eating only spinach, ensures, and chicken breast for the first 3 or 4 days. After I'll eat two small meals a day. I'm excited. How much weight would I lose?
[Other] DAE set ""encouraging"" reminders like this?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 81lbs | BMI: 15-something | -?lbs| f]
Created: Fri Aug 3 18:05:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94es86/dae_set_encouraging_reminders_like_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/o7wvv80vwyd11.jpg
[Discussion] Anyone else feel like their ED is preventing them from reaching their full potential in a competitive sport?
/u/andsometimesiwonder [5ā1| 113 |]
Created: Fri Aug 3 18:03:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ert1/anyone_else_feel_like_their_ed_is_preventing_them/
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I restrict a lot. On days where I have practice for my sport, I net negative calories. I think that due to the fact that Iām not getting enough nutrients, Iām weaker than the rest of the team. Iām slower, I get tired more easily. No matter how much I practice, Iām always the first one to sit out. I feel like fainting often. Yet, eating more terrifies me so Iām stuck in this cycle of not being able to improve and constantly feeling sick and dizzy during practice. Does any one else face the same dilemma?
[Other] Honk honk
/u/semperxvivum [5'6" | 127lbs | 20.5 BMI | -45lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 3 17:47:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94enub/honk_honk/
---
https://i.redd.it/f57rncvqtyd11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] DAE get grossed out by other people eating?
/u/RedPlaidPanda
Created: Fri Aug 3 17:41:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94em2b/dae_get_grossed_out_by_other_people_eating/
---
Sometimes if Iām sitting near someone and I can hear them eating, its super gross and alI can think about. I canāt eat with them. I wana hit anyone who I can hear chewing š©
My BF clicks his teeth together when heās chews and I canāt stand it.
[Rant/Rave] I purged and there was blood.
/u/BlondeActually [Height 5ā4 | CW 94| BMI 16.1| HW 120| LW 89| GW 88 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 17:21:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ehbr/i_purged_and_there_was_blood/
---
I donāt purge a lot. I rarely feel full enough for it, but I had McDonaldās today, and Iām up two pounds from my flair in the last few weeks and couldnāt find anything nice to wear tonight and Iām a little tipsy so it had to be done. Iām not a very good purger. I rarely get everything out unless I drink a shitload of liquid in between so I did that throughout my meal, knowing Iām going to go and throw it all up.
A few heaves in and thereās blood on my fingers. Not a lot, but enough to scare me. Now Iām sitting here drinking a coffee and letting half a burger, some fries and milkshake absorb into my fat cells. I took an obscene amount of lax and a sleeping pill (ed logic) so hopefully I wonāt shit the bed, but spend half the day between the bathroom and sleeping, and not eating anything. I want to fucking die.
How easy is it to get Vyvanse?
/u/SourRoach420
Created: Fri Aug 3 17:06:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ed85/how_easy_is_it_to_get_vyvanse/
---
Title is pretty self explanatory. I want to try to get an ADHD prescription for weight loss. I was actually diagnosed with ADHD in elementary school but never went on medication for it, so Iām hoping it helps a lot with concentration once school starts. What are your experiences with ADHD/ADD meds?
Too afraid to make myself puke so Iām just going with laxatives
/u/FrankWest21CP
Created: Fri Aug 3 17:02:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ec9w/too_afraid_to_make_myself_puke_so_im_just_going/
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I canāt get fat. I wonāt let it happen. Iāll do anything to avoid it. Iām gaining weight and I need to stop. I know itās dangerous but itās worth it. Iāll NEVER be fat. Never.
My sister had an abortion... (possible trigger)
/u/sicklollipop
Created: Fri Aug 3 16:33:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94e4lf/my_sister_had_an_abortion_possible_trigger/
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My sister and I have a tense relationship at best. Since we were children, she's always been a little psychotic; hurting/tormenting animals, bullying me so badly that I was scared to ever tell on her, manipulating people and stealing. I'm crazy in my own ways, of course, but we're opposites in many ways. As we grew older, I became very introverted, I was bullied in school and tended to have little to no friends, and I turned to death metal and drawing to deal with our abusive father and the trials of high school. She became one of the 'cool kids,' partied a lot, caused endless drama and fights with her frenemies, usually by messing around with their boyfriends. As I went into college, she dropped out and started experimenting with harder drugs, self harming, and sleeping from couch to couch. After about a year of this, I finally convinced her to live with me, and I became her legal guardian; I was responsible for enrolling her, and handling all of her bad behavior when she did decide to attend. It was a very stressful point in my life, since I had finally established a home, a full time job, and full time college, and it inevitably fell apart. We went our separate ways, until a fateful day almost 4 years ago.Ā
I had moved on to roommate with my mom (finances are stretched tight,) and she dropped by to spend time with me. In truth, she was taking a pregnancy test and only trusted me to be there. It tested positive, and from that point on I realized I had to protect not only my sister, but her child as well.Ā
The next 9 months were a roller coaster. She threatened abortion or hurting the baby in order to manipulate my mother and I, continued to smoke/drink (often stealing from us in order to do so,) and left a mess everywhere she went. However, I loved her and I loved that baby, and my bf and I were pretty much ready to adopt, so I patiently tolerated her behavior and often had to give her whatever she wanted in order to secure his safety. We had a lot of touching, beautiful moments as well; when she finally started giving birth, we were so cute in the hospital; I laid with her and took tons of pictures of us, I decorated the white boards with lots of cute doodles. The baby was named Carson Fox \*\*\*\*\*\*\*; his middle name was for me, since foxes are my absolute obsession. It all seemed like a miracle; until the baby was drug tested.Ā
It turned out that during labor, she snuck out with her bf at the time to smoke pot.Ā
The fight began, and I fought hard. CPS and the system are completely fucked, overworked and understaffed, and the official paperwork often had blatant mistakes (for example, they listed one of my mom's crimes from over 10 years ago as something my sister committed... wtf?) and he was removed from her chest not even 48 hours after she gave birth.Ā
I hit my lowest weight during this time period-- not just from my eating disorder, but my extreme depression. This is when I began attending counseling, and went under a slew of drugs, as well as being diagnosed with a laundry list of disorders, including extreme PTSD due to this.Ā
However, thanks to a family friend who is an adoptive mother, we were able to get him into a healthy, well-off family. We had.. a few visits, but as the months passed, it became more and more excruciating. The family is hispanic, and it was terribly humiliating and embaressing to have to meet in a McDonalds, hold him for a few moments just to realize how scared and unfamiliar he was with us, and passing him back to his very-obviously-not-biological mother. They never really liked us either, and used guilt to subtly push us away as well.Ā
Fawn broke; as is natural. The way they removed him from her was nothing less then a crime; the mother and child should have had at least a few days before seperation. While in state care, he caught meningitis in a fucking day care--- a 2 day old infant in a DAY CARE. I had to help my sister milk herself for weeks. It was unnatural, drawn out torment, a constant reminder of our boy, as if the apartment filled with fox-themed baby stuff didn't help either.Ā
I'm appalled by this as much as anyone, but she got pregnant again--- NOT EVEN 4 WEEKS AFTER GIVING BIRTH AND LOSING HER CHILD. That's not even all of it; I found that she stole my lingerie and hid it -- wait for this -- in his abandoned crib. I was utterly disgusted; but we were in for the ride again.Ā
Another 9 months later, she gave birth to Orion; a beautiful little boy. He was almost instantly placed with the family that has Carson; I had to travel to the CPS meeting where he passed hands, the very morning after the Dallas shooting. My sister was delusional, assured that he was going home with her, but she showed up to the meeting in flip flops, a sloppy bun, and spent the night before partying.Ā
TLDR; my sister got pregnant twice back to back, and both children were taken away from my family. This caused me to devolve from a working, high functioning individual, into a weak, sick person who has daily panic attacks and can't work at all.Ā
Now we can discuss the topic at hand.Ā
She showed up to spend some time with me two nights ago. We drank, hung out, laughed; it wasn't bad until she started breaking down about her relationship. Her bf is an absolute piece of trash. I've tried COUNTLESS times to connect with him, relate to him, and understand him, because they have been together for so long, but those two together are toxic. She has given up a job, and staying with my aunt, where she was getting on her feet to live out of his car and party all day. After she started crying, he went silent, and she was ranting about how he wont touch her, and asking if they were even a relationship any more, because she had an abortion recently. He assured me that he didn't pressure her into it, and I believe that much, but I feel like he didn't exactly WANT her to be pregnant at all, because that would screw up their endless partying and shitty selfish lifestyle. My sister collapsed, crying in my arms, obviously feeling remorse and regret, and he was silent and didn't want to discuss it any further.Ā
I put on a brave face for her; I love her to death, and I would always do anything for her. My love for her is unconditional. But after she let go, I had to rush to the bathroom because a violent wave of nausea hit me and I vomited so hard I thought my teeth were going to fall out. I cleaned up, did the whole 1-2-swish with water and put on a smile-punch, and went back out to hold her and try to help them with their issues. I was civil, sweet, and supportive. It was already late that night, so they left soon afterwards.Ā
It's been two days, and my mind isn't processing the information. I'm having flashes of blind anger and fury, but mostly just a deep numbness that feels chilly and aloof. I've had heated discussions with my mom, dad, and bf about this; but in my head, it's all strangely silent except for the manta 'my sister had an abortion.' The anxiety is so bad that my chest aches, literally aches, and I keep checking in the mirror to see if its bruised, but it's not.Ā
I forgive my sister, but I can't forget that a life is lost. My neice or nephew is now dead. Debate about where the soul starts all you want, but there's blatant scientific fact that a fertilized egg is life, and arguing with someone who doesn't think that is like arguing with a flat earther. Losing Carson and Orion has put me through SO MUCH PAIN... I had to grieve them, mourn them, separate their identities in my head from myself in order to simply function at all, so many hours of therapy, so many tears and holes in the wall over losing them... but they are A L I V E . They are thriving, healthy, and alive. My mom and dad don't get to be grandparents but at least their genes moved on.Ā
For reference, I'm the farthest thing from a conservative, or right wing, or anything like that. I am prochoice and I am very passionate about it. However, that choice should be heavy, and should consider everyone involved, not treated like a fucking goddamn way to get out of facing your own consequences. My mom had an abortion before me; she was 13, strung out on crack, and alone. My sister has a supportive family, her body is healthy, she wasn't raped or forced in any way to have sex. She didn't make the choice to abort for anything other then keeping a shitty guy around, who won't take care of her in any way. THAT was her choice. She didn't even bother to tell anyone she was pregnant because she knew the family would want to take care of her and hold her accountable for being pregnant. We would have taken her in, cared for her, and from the beginning plan for the child to be adopted out.Ā
Mom, my bf and I are in a strange place of trying to comfort each other, but we just end up yelling at each other. I am her sister, and I can't help but feel responsible and I have this deep, intense need to take care of her and prevent the loss of another life. I have absolutely no idea how I can do that, but I've been fantasizing about whooping her ass quite a bit (which is unlikely, she's taller/bigger/stronger.) Mom is telling me to let it go, stop focusing on it, because I'm 'choosing' to be miserable over something I can't control. I'm very aware that I can't control her, but I can do everything in my power to try and influence her so that another life isn't taken. Even if she doesn't ever change, and has 10 more abortions, at least I can know in my heart that I fought for what I believe in, and never gave up. Giving up is something I just can't do, I can't. My Mom and my Dad are both annoyed and tired of me trying to fight a losing battle, but I keep going back to Carson. If I didn't fight with Fawn every-fuck-day, he wouldn't be here.
My boyfriend is upset at my sister for hurting my feelings, but as far as he is concerned it wasn't really a life yet. Ok, I understand respecting someone's point of view, but I know KNOW that a life is a life, and a death is a death. Once the egg is fertilized, it is on its way to becoming a baby. Even if the brain isn't formed, it WILL form one if you let it naturally do its thing. Cutting that process off is unnatural, and that's just a fact. I'm sure that this idea of a baby not having a soul before its brain is formed is what we've done as humans in order to justify something that we simply don't want to morally face. It's a delusion. I have an eating disorder and multiple mental disorders that would risk any pregnancy, and risk myself, so I've thought in depth about this ever since she was first pregnant. I would have an abortion, but I would also face the truth of what it is, ugly as it is. It would hurt me deeply, and I would value that action for what it is. It doesn't make it right, but lying to yourself doesn't make it right either. My sister tends to delude herself about everything; she never wants to talk about the boys, she stopped seeing them, and she refuses to acknowledge some of the horrible acts she did as a child (like microwaving a kitten.)Ā
My mental state is ... a wreck. I'm having dizzying PTSD moments (seeing the ceiling of the hospital, having phantom kick-feelings in my stomach, etc) and my emotions are all over the place. While I'm awake, almost all of my muscles are tensed, from feeling like I have to fight or flight any second. I've been maintaining a normalish weight for the family for a faked 'recovery' attempt, and I've had an appetite, but that has completely disappeared since. I can't remember the last time I didn't look forward to halo top-- now I'm back in that cold, empty place where all food is just colorful, forms of shit, and the sensation of chewing/swallowing disgusts me, even if it's a safe food. I mean, I did swear off this fake recovery recently, promising myself to lose weight, but I didn't want it to be because of depression, I wanted the power of making a choice.Ā
I'm so alone in this. My parents and my boyfriend are the only other people I talk to. In fact, when she visited me 2 days ago, that was the first time I'd seen or spoken to another person in over a month. The few online friends I have on discord are just gamer buddies and this is all too much to discuss with anyone I know there. I guess thats why I'm writing this post. Thank you for anyone who has read this, I really appreciate the time, and I'd be so grateful if anyone had any advice or similar experiences. <3Ā
Husband threw away my scale..
/u/Pretty_White_Walker [5'4 | CW 113.6 | BMI 19.8 | Weight Lost 60 lbs| F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 16:28:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94e37k/husband_threw_away_my_scale/
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Low key actually pissed about it. I had a period where I was giving recovery a try and encouraged him to hide the scale until I was in a better place mentally.
Welp I ended up relapsing, and after watching me tear our apartment apart for 15 minutes for it, he threw it in the dumpster. At least I got one last weigh in before he did it...
He cares so much, and he's trying to help me, encouraging me to eat three times a day and frequently cooking our meals together. He kisses me when he sees me doing body checks. So why am I complaining? Oh yea, I'm a mentally ill shit, that's why. I desperately crave this kind of attention while also vehemently rejecting it when it's being offered.
I just want him to *back off*. I can't get away with fasting, at least not without feeling like an asshole for disappointing him. His help almost feels counter productive because ever since he threw away the scale and became my biggest 'recovery ally', food and restricting are almost all I think about now.
Am I doing it because I want to feel that this attention is 'valid enough'? like I'm not underweight anymore, so I feel like I'm not 'sick enough' for this kind of attention? Fuck and there's not exactly a way to say that without sounding like I want this disorder.
Body checks are all I have now, the only reason I'm even excited for the gym is because they have a scale there. I weighed myself so often, and now without the security of knowing my number, my sense of control is spiraling away from me. The dysmorphia feels worse, my pants feel tighter, my stomach and boobs look saggier, my thighs look more squishy.
I could buy another scale, but it would probably cause an argument I don't wanna have because it's not like I can reasonably defend the shit I do to myself can I?
TL;DR Hubs threw away scale, it was my best friend and worst enemy. RIP scale, miss ya.
[Goal] Success!
/u/BunnyAwesome
Created: Fri Aug 3 16:22:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94e1js/success/
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I did it! I went out for lunch, for burgers, and I only ate contents of the small burger (some vegan chicken), and the salad. I didn't eat the bread, I didn't order fries... AND! I didn't even touch the fries that someone else tried to give me that they didn't want!
To top it all off, I managed to clock in at under 700 calories today (I guessed the food and overestimated everything), 400 calories burned walking, and i hit my first GW!!
I feel so rewarded and like I'm finally in control. It feels so good.
[Help] Eating at a normal deficit feels like bingeing
/u/chezpajama
Created: Fri Aug 3 16:18:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94e0hj/eating_at_a_normal_deficit_feels_like_bingeing/
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Iām having a really shitty day for numerous reasons. Iām upset and I want to drink beer and eat some fries.
Iām well below the calorie goal of 1 lb per week that LoseIt gives me (-2437 so far) but I feel like if I even get close to 1600 calories that Iām weak and pathetic.
On the upside (maybe downside) I got into a big fight with my boyfriend so I donāt have to go to dinner with him and his father tonight.
Iām down 23 lbs in 2 months. Finally got out of BMI 22 to 21.6 (goal of 19) and Iām terrified of backsliding.
[Discussion] is anyone else just unable to burp or vomit?
/u/weirdgrossworm
Created: Fri Aug 3 15:57:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94dufx/is_anyone_else_just_unable_to_burp_or_vomit/
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i never ever burped in my life (i'm 16) and it wasn't until the other night when i was so disturbingly bloated from drinking that it was actually painful.. i was in the worst pain and i tried to induce burping or vomiting by touching the back of my throat, which didn't work. it hurt so badly
[Rant/Rave] Doing so good and now back to the BS
/u/jackolantern_hat [5'9.5" | CW:149 | BMI: 21.22 | 21F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 15:54:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94dtjd/doing_so_good_and_now_back_to_the_bs/
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I went on a week long vacation with my bf and it was great! We had breakfast every morning, brunch/lunch, dinner, and a small snack before sleeping which is totally different than my 2 meals a day and fasting. I didn't regret what I ate and we walked a ton, like 10 miles a day, so I was either eating at maintenance or even a bit below. I felt so normal and carefree.
Now I'm back home and in 2 days I binged an entire pizza, fudge cake, and in n out burgers all because my family members kept trying to take the food I bought. So my disordered mind thought "If you eat it all now then no one can take it from you". If it weren't for them eating my food, I'd have had about 4 days of meals instead of 2 binging sessions.
I really just want to cry because of this. I hate how being around my family seems to fuel this binge&restrict cycle that doesn't exist when it's just my bf and me. I hadn't gone on vacation in about 2 years so I had no clue just how bad my family affected my disordered eating until I was gone enough to be a normal person again š
Sorry about the rant, I really wanted to get this out. Just typing that all seemed to ease my mind a bit.
R/normal nudes makes me feel worse?!
/u/Existing_Trifle [174cm | 127.8lbs | 18.87 | -40lbs, +30lbs | :doge:]
Created: Fri Aug 3 15:26:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94dlui/rnormal_nudes_makes_me_feel_worse/
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I love the idea of the sub, normal people posting nudes in an unposed way to get an idea of what normal bodies look like! I love it!
BUT
Obvs I'm super peeping at everyone's height and weight and make BMI calcs left and right and everyone who is heavier than me just looks so much fucking better than me??? I just had to get up and look at myself in the mirror like fuck, do I actually have body dysmorphia?? I never thought I did, I just starved myself because I think thin is pretty and fat is disgusting but maybe I've gone and rewired my brain because I look down and see thick, big rolls, bulging stomach paunch, back rolls, thick thick thighs that flubber and blubber around...
[Discussion] Does anyone else read about macros obsessively?
/u/nordic_alien [167cm | 130lbs | 22 | 20lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 15:21:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94dkgq/does_anyone_else_read_about_macros_obsessively/
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I tend to carry a lot of fat on my arms (triceps) and reading the science of that I learned that can mean lower than normal testosterone in females. This means that apparently a low carb higher fat and protein diet is best for hormone restoration... but high fat is so triggering for me, I donāt know how to make it work. It definitely leads to me to binge a lot. Iām trying really hard to hit my protein macro first and keep it low cal but its insanely hard.
Anyone else go through this? Anyone had a lot of success on low carb diet? Iām trying to be a runner and Iām hoping those macros could lead to a lean compact build... but when I see the model physiques I like it seems that all anyone eats are fruits and vegetables. :( when I ate like that, I was basically skinny fat at 106 lbs. Not sure what to do, would love input.
how on earth do you resist huge cravings?
/u/FinbarOmen
Created: Fri Aug 3 15:11:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94dhgv/how_on_earth_do_you_resist_huge_cravings/
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since yesterday, my craving for unhealthy food is just making everything so hard for me. right now all i want is to order a pizza and give up everything i have worked for so far. my next weigh in will be on sunday morning, so now i have to survive the rest of this day and the entire next day an i am so done right now..
My ED group chat had this idea
/u/fjrjcthb
Created: Fri Aug 3 14:56:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94dcwq/my_ed_group_chat_had_this_idea/
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A lot of people on our ed group chats on instagram weāre getting shut down, so we came up with code so we can recognise each other. Put emojis āļø(food item,eg šŖ)āļø in bio, name or tag.
[Intro] My love for Carrot + intro
/u/bigbeyoncefan
Created: Fri Aug 3 14:55:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94dcv5/my_love_for_carrot_intro/
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As unordinary as it sounds Iāve always been really bad at counting calories Iāve always been a few pounds over weight but the second I attempted to count I would either fuck up or just starve instead (idk if that makes sense lol) but the carrot app helps me soooo much and makes counting so much easier!! I love how simple it is and how my avatar gets physically bigger and Iām just rambling at this point lmao but Iām so content how easy it is for me to count calories without binging or restricting (as much) ! I still have a long way to go but carrot is hella helpful
Iām 20F & 5ā2
SW: 150
CW: 137
GW: 110-115
People pointing out the truth is horrible and I just need to talk about it a little.
/u/Sound25
Created: Fri Aug 3 14:52:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94dbph/people_pointing_out_the_truth_is_horrible_and_i/
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Need to just get something off my chest.
I went out on a date with my SO earlier today - got all dressed up and made up to impress him. We went out for a meal and for whatever reason I had a pitcher of vodka cocktail. I just let loose about how I'd be binging and purging every day this week and how I felt out of control of my own body. He wouldn't let me brush it off and made me speak more about it and told me he was worried about me and wanted to help. He was really sweet and comforting and I think part of me really needed that. Came up with little plans with what he could do to help and what I could try and it was nice to just be able to speak about it.
I kept my food down and we made our way home.
On the way, we ran into some of his workmates who I hadn't seen for over a year. One of them pointed to me an excitedly turned to my SO and said 'Oh wow, you guys are expecting?'
It was almost funny with how badly timed it was. This friend is a really nice guy and would not say anything like that out of malice. It's because I really really do look pregnant. I could feel the colour drain from my SO's face and everyone looked so uncomfortable that I just laughed and waved it off so no one was embarrassed.
But yeah, of course my food has not stayed down.
Has anyone had anything similar before where people point out the physical truth about your body when it's just too much to deal with? How do you handle it? How do you make it sting a bit less?
Pros of fasting: Weight loss. Cons of fasting: Smoking excessively to surpress the hunger.
/u/napoleonfucker69
Created: Fri Aug 3 14:45:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94d9t1/pros_of_fasting_weight_loss_cons_of_fasting/
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DAE send nudes for approval
/u/ash_alah
Created: Fri Aug 3 14:43:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94d9cj/dae_send_nudes_for_approval/
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Alright so im a fucking slut and im not ashamed of it but honestly the main reason why i send nudes is not cause im horny but for approval. I hate my body and i think it looks disgusting but it kinda makes me feel better knowing that guys would still fuck me but then theyād probably fuck pretty much anything lol. Also i prefer sending nudes over rl sex cause i can pose and make my body look not as bad. I told myself id never send nudes again after someone leaked them (and i got slutshamed by the police officer lol) but GOD i just need the approval so much. Does anyone else do this?
Wtf is going on with my everything.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Fri Aug 3 14:33:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94d6bj/wtf_is_going_on_with_my_everything/
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Like I said, the other day (nobody cares), July was a real shitty month. August has been weird. I don't know wtf is going on with me. Last week, I was ravenous constantly. I just wanted to eat everything in sight. I was salivating at the *thought* of frying burgers in butter and eating them with my bare hands. Bunless. Medium rare. Dripping with juices. This whole week, I've been eating OMAD and I don't want to eat anything. Some food looks *tasty*, but I don't *want* to eat. No real hunger. I haven't even had any Diet Coke. Just water and zero calorie electrolyte drinks.
Wonder if my weird issues are due to sucking down that fizzy, sugarfree nectar.
[Help] Will my body adjust or am I going too hard?
/u/LumosMegan
Created: Fri Aug 3 14:18:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94d1rb/will_my_body_adjust_or_am_i_going_too_hard/
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Have EDNOS, just purging most meals but not binging. Went and did treatment, thought I was recovered, relapsed. Now Iām doing restricting for the first time and my purging has increased from a few times a day to purging several times a day and doing 24 hour fasts at least 4x a week and intermittent fasting every other day. Iāve also been doing at least an hour of exercise daily. Iāve lost weight but Iām feeling just sick. Today when I finally had my first meal at 1:00, I still feel sick. Usually eating makes me feel physically better. Today and for a few days I feel shakey and my stomach is sensitive after eating and I feel weak. Is this what I can just expect if I keep this behavior up?
[Rant/Rave] judged @ the self checkout
/u/angelic-rose [š¹ 5ā6 | 130 | 21.59 | 19F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 14:10:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94czo4/judged_the_self_checkout/
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so i ran to walmart to get psyllium capsules, safe foods, etc because the only food in the house is a giant bag of chips that i was tempted to binge on.....anyways
i went to the self checkout obviously. thereās no way iād let someone see whatās inside my cart. the checkout is set up to where the stations are clustered together and people are filed into the area through one line. i got in line and there was this lady who was assigning people to the open stations. she smiled at me then looked at my cart. scoffed and gestured me in.
aaaand the only open station was the one RIGHT NEXT TO HER, so if she didnāt already see my disordered groceries she definitely noticed then. she laughed nervously and said something about the weather. she was deadass watching me the entire time i was bagging my shit. judging me. fuck. i walked out so fast after i was done.
at least now i donāt have to worry about binging on those dill pickle chips ĀÆ\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ win some lose some i guess
[Other] ~ Your ultimate fridge/apt ~
/u/boxoftrash
Created: Fri Aug 3 13:42:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94cr3l/your_ultimate_fridgeapt/
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Haaate diet soda I end up breaking out, also bingeing :^) so no to that (fight me) but...
- Different variations of mushrooms
- Cauliflower
- Eggs
- Egg white cartons
- Variations of homemade hot sauce
- Soy sauce
- Spinach
- Cherry tomatoes
- Lettuce
- Shirataki noodles
- Kelp noodles (a hard find...)
- Veggie broth
- Carrots
- Hummus dip variations
- Fiber powder/psyllium husk
- Some blueberries and strawberries
- Sunflower seeds
- Kimchi
- A few vitamins/fish oil supp
- Sugar free gelatin (for the gelatin benefits, even though sugar free shit fucks with me)
- Coffee. All sorts of ground coffee. Cuban, decaf, whatever.
- Tea. All sorts of tea.
- Cucumbers
- Lemons
- Salsa low cal dip
- Asparagus
- Acid, mdma, and vyvanse haha jk oops
Iām missing some random things in there but thatās a good general base.
[Help] stomach feels hot
/u/summerservice [5'2 | 185 | -15 | 19F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 13:41:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94cqsq/stomach_feels_hot/
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idk if this can be related to not eating ?? I havenāt had it before. it isnāt a painful burning, it just feels wrong?? I hadnāt eaten for about 20 hours but I caved and had cereal with milk hoping the coldness would fix it, but it still feels so strange. I usually drink soda and water room temperature because of sensitive teeth but Iām trying cool water now. anyone know why my body hates me? haha
eating is just so fucking hard
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 110 |HW: 134|UGW: 105|F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 13:20:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ckdr/eating_is_just_so_fucking_hard/
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i wish i didn't have to eat. it's hard to restrict because i just don't want to eat at all but my body tells me i have to, once i start eating i don't want to stop because my stupid fucking caveman brain thinks the taste is good and i want to shove more in my garbage body. i just hate food so fucking much that i just want to avoid it all the time but i can't, no matter how much i try and it's so fucking exhausting !!!! i hate looking at people who can just grab a snack like it's nothing or smile when they ask their friends to go to dinner because i just don't understand anything about that mentality anymore, it hurts
The Real Reason I Hate My Body
/u/blood-n-caffiene
Created: Fri Aug 3 13:19:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94cjy9/the_real_reason_i_hate_my_body/
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Not just parts of it - itās because it doesnāt work properly! Like wtf is wrong with you, you canāt even poop until 2-3 days later, without help?
Fuuuuck, make it stop, make it stopppp!!!
[Other] DAE just munch on ice??
/u/xCatsunax [5'5 | 105 lbs | BMI: 17.5 | GW 95 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 13:18:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94cjsz/dae_just_munch_on_ice/
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I have been like loving ice lately. Maybe it's cause it's hot, but I would rather sit and eat a full cup of crushed ice than anything else. Idk is this weird? Anyone relate? XD
[Rant/Rave] I bought a new scale and my life is a lie
/u/AirmansGirl [5'5 | CW 118 | GW 110| 26F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 13:12:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94chvg/i_bought_a_new_scale_and_my_life_is_a_lie/
---
Iāve had a digital glass scale for over a year and Iāve always believed it was correct. Just recently we got a new one thatās still digital and glass. I used them both this morning, one after another and they were off by 7 pounds! I have no idea which one is correct! Either Iām 116 (old scale) or 123 (new scale) Iām freaking out.
[Rant/Rave] Wait, I wasnāt aware I was chubby?
/u/awlas [5'1'' | 116.4 | GW:105]
Created: Fri Aug 3 13:10:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ch9q/wait_i_wasnt_aware_i_was_chubby/
---
I appreciate it that you remind me that I have gained weight. I forget that when I look on the scale 4 times a day. Every time before I eat, every time I wear clothes.
Iām just as remotely devastated as you are about my weight gain. I am empathetic for your concerns that despite me being ānaturallyā skinny during my teen years, itās hard for you to process.
I got in the biggest fight with my mom today about my weight. She always indirectly comments on my chubby face, my thighs, my body. I never had positive self image growing up since she would always complain about her weight. It wasnāt until my metabolism slowed down and I started gaining weight that she feels the need to comment indirectly. I have BED. I took it and accepted her comments but I had enough of her. I addressed her that she comments all the time and she called me the biggest, fattest liar ever. She doesnāt even know she does it. It hurts me. I have the worst body image. Iām pretty sure I have BDD. I hate how I look. My BMI, although healthy for my height, does not look best on me and I know that.
I donāt need people from the outside to tell me what I already know. At times, I want to lose all this weight to prove to my mom that she made me this miserable person. My eating habits are ridiculous. Iāll go days eating 600 calories than binge recklessly with 3,000. I hope I donāt begin purging. Iāve considered it. I am so miserable.
[Help] Bloating from coffee and prune juice
/u/comrade_toastboy [Height | 116 | GW 110| UGW 105]
Created: Fri Aug 3 13:09:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94ch6f/bloating_from_coffee_and_prune_juice/
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I drink a cup or two of coffee and a cup or two of prune juice every morning to clean me out. But it makes me so bloated and I canāt stand it. What reduces bloating.
[Tip] Safe food Europe (mainland)
/u/askthedustinstead
Created: Fri Aug 3 13:04:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94cfn5/safe_food_europe_mainland/
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Any safe food tips for Europe?
I gained weight and I want to kill myself.
/u/wannathrowyouaway
Created: Fri Aug 3 12:47:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94caau/i_gained_weight_and_i_want_to_kill_myself/
---
On mobile, can't flair.
I actually got to my goal weight last summer. And guess what? I wasn't happy and I truly didn't see any difference in my body. But I felt light when I walked, old clothes were baggy on me, I was pale, I could see my bones and I had a thigh gap. Yet, in my eyes I still looked like I did at my highest weight. I was constantly dizzy and I guess my body was eating its own muscle or something because sometimes I was in such pain that I couldn't stand up. Then I lost my period, finally. I felt valid. But I decided to "recover". Oh, what a horrible mistake. From that day I started binging. It lasted months, in which I binged every day. Now I'm 10 kg heavier, I can't see my bones and my thighs are fat, my clothes don't fit anymore and I want to kill myself.
I know I can lose the weight again, I am trying. But it feels like it's impossible this time, like I'll never succeed because there's always something that stops me from restricring (example: family). And even if I eat 500 calories a day, weight loss seems so slow and I just can't wait.
[Rant/Rave] first binge day in a month.
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Fri Aug 3 12:42:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94c8l1/first_binge_day_in_a_month/
---
iāve been really depressed today about the anniversary of one of my friendsā suicide, so i decide to throw caution to the wind and eat whatever i want. iām not even going to count the calories.
iām going to hate myself for this tomorrow, but iām gonna fast the next three days and do a deep diet for a couple of weeks so it shouldnāt be a problem.
when i binge, i wonāt allow myself to weigh in until a week later after iāve gotten on track. itās going to be hard not to weigh myself but i have to for my own sanity.
much love.
[Rant/Rave] the weight I want to lose
/u/throwaway700621
Created: Fri Aug 3 12:36:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94c6pb/the_weight_i_want_to_lose/
---
I used to be in touch with my body. I naturally knew when I was full, so Iād stop eating. I didnāt need to eat everything off my plate or go back for seconds. I only ate to fulfill my hunger. I was naturally thin- skinny even. I thought no more about food than the average person. It was just fuel; something I ate at meals three times a day, and snacks when I needed them. I knew what calories were but didnāt pay much attention to them.
Now, Iām no longer in touch with my body. Sometimes, I canāt even recognize Iām full until Iām completely stuffed. Even when I do recognize that Iām full, Iāll eat everything in front of me and oftentimes go back for even more. If I was left to my own devices, Iād have definitely gained extra weight by now. Thatās why I canāt let go of calorie-counting. It serves as my signal to stop eating- the only source of control over my diet I have. A number is a concrete boundary- not a feeling. And I need that. On the outside, it looks like I have a normal, healthy diet. But Iām nowhere near close to psychologically healthy.
Food is my best friend. A friend thatās always there for me, helping me through every bad emotion- sadness, anger, boredom, loneliness. A guaranteed way to make me feel better in the moment.
*donāt mine the inevitable guilt and shame after youāre done and itās all goneā¦ if it makes you feel better now itās okay*
Food is my obsession. Oftentimes before I start eating, my heart rate will increase, and my breathing will quicken. I feel excitement and a twinge of foreboding, like one would feel before they lean into to kiss their crush or check their score on a big test.
*guilty pleasure.*
I know I shouldnāt indulge any more, but because Iāve worked it into my daily allotted amount of calories- itās okay.
*is it?*
I know how good it will feel.
*will it?*
Food is my escape. I want to feel stuffed. Full, satiated, gorged. Because only when Iām stuffed will I no longer want food. Itās the only time when Iām completely repulsed by the idea of āmore.ā A long-needed respite from constant thoughts and cravings. A mental break from discipline and desire.
But in reality, being stuffed sucks. It doesnāt physically feel good. At a point painful even. Bloated, belly protruding. Overcome by disgust and shame when I look in the mirror afterwards. I feel piggish, gluttonous, repulsive. Jealous at all the other people in touch with their body who donāt feel this way.
I wish I never wanted food. That I was never hungry or tempted. That food to me was the same as any other any inanimate object- like a rock, a book, a pen- none of which I have the desire to consume.
I wish I was just a being, without a physical body to control. Just a floating consciousness. No desires to be suppressed, no physique to maintain, no appearance to be ashamed of.
*escape.*
I want to escape. To escape from food- from my desire for it, my cravings for it, my dependency on it, my never-ending hunger for it. I want all the thoughts and feelings surrounding food to float away and leave my body entirely. Thatās the only weight I want to lose anymore.
[Other] August weight loss bujo
/u/Baby-Baphomet [BMI: 23.1 | GW:20 bmi | F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 12:20:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94c1sq/august_weight_loss_bujo/
---
https://imgur.com/a/MOm0f5S
August's ED bujo š
/u/Baby-Baphomet [BMI: 23.1 | GW:20 bmi | F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 12:15:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94c02v/augusts_ed_bujo/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/9bUVfgA
has anyone here been to prison?
/u/proudnalgeneowner [recovery ?]
Created: Fri Aug 3 12:13:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94bz9y/has_anyone_here_been_to_prison/
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i think i would die within a year if i did. I'm a vegetarian and i am recovering now but i am pretty sure that whole thing would be straight out the window, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't send someone to treatment there. maybe a few ER trips. i would die
note: I'm not actually going to prison I'm just playing the "what if" game
Just bought a Fitbit...
/u/drugstore-diet [ā 21/F | 5'5" | CW: 122 lbs/BMI 20.3 ā]
Created: Fri Aug 3 12:08:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94bxs7/just_bought_a_fitbit/
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...and only 75% of the reason was so I could show my SO how little calories I burn so he will lay off trying to get me to eat as much as him. ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
God Iām such an attention whore but honestly I really want people to spread rumors about me being anorexic (once I lose more)
/u/blazeroftrails [5'6 | 119.7 lbs | GW 105]
Created: Fri Aug 3 11:54:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94bt8u/god_im_such_an_attention_whore_but_honestly_i/
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Anyone else relate? Like I feel horrible about it but I want people to gossip about me cause it would be a sign that Iām actually losing since I canāt see it in the mirror.
what are some safe foods you can also get in Canada?
/u/cloudsofdawn [5'6.5' | 169cm | 129lbs | 20.5 | ā]
Created: Fri Aug 3 11:38:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94bofa/what_are_some_safe_foods_you_can_also_get_in/
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I am planning on travelling home for a week which is a 3 hour drive, but they have limited grocery stores there and my family there always tries to shove like triple proportions of food on me, breakfast lunch and dinner, and always eat junk at night.
I plan on bringing my favourite Thai kitchen noodles (170cal), kraft dinner single cups (250cal), fibre 1 brownies (90cal), fibre one granola bars (170cal?) and probably some watermelon and other low cal fruits and veggies and some bananas.
Iām looking for things sort of like the noodles and brownies that are easy to prepare or have around and also some things thatāll hit a sweet spot. I love chocolate so thatās a difficult one for me. I plan on checking out one of the grocery stores about 25mins away and bringing a cooler so I can get some halo top if they have it there.
Do you ever weigh yourself stupidly then get mad you haven't lost weight?
/u/ButterflyThin [66" | 178 | 28.85 | -72 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 11:37:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94bo1d/do_you_ever_weigh_yourself_stupidly_then_get_mad/
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I have no idea why I do this. I weigh myself with my cloth and shoes on then get mad the number isn't the same or lower than it was yesterday. I weigh myself during sharkweek and with wet hair too. I know I will be happier if I do it right but like... I don't do it.
[Rant/Rave] meltdown over kraft pizza and a dream
/u/cloudsofdawn [5'6.5' | 169cm | 129lbs | 20.5 | ā]
Created: Fri Aug 3 11:35:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94bn94/meltdown_over_kraft_pizza_and_a_dream/
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Iām not at a great weight rn. I look quite large bc of the way I carry weight and I have a deadline to lose weight by basically because my best friend is visiting me and we might go say hi to someone important, who I especially canāt have see me like this. Iāll be eating more when she comes here and high calorie things so Iām very concerned.
Iāve been fasting the last day and a half so far and planned to go for around 5 days.
I had a dream last night my family found out about this Reddit account and my ED and lost it, and a bunch of other chaos. I also woke up today on my period and I have no idea if this is my actual weight or not bc it seems accurate but I usually bloat.
Anyways I came downstairs to get water today and thereās a kraft pizza prep thing on the counter. My dad talked about wanting to have one because it reminded him of his childhood. Well, here it is. Iām freaking out because itās a ton of calories, could lead to a binge, and i donāt want to break my fast. Iām going to just try put it off until Monday night or something.
I also have to go grocery shopping this weekend to get things to take on vacation (aka Iām gonna bring a ton of safe foods) and I need to seriously restrict while Iām there and idk how thatās going to go, plus I want to still fast but I donāt think itāll be possible for that week.
Iām just really, really stressed and ready to have a meltdown.
I can FEEL my dysmorphia catching up.
/u/audreyhepburnwho
Created: Fri Aug 3 11:26:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94bkge/i_can_feel_my_dysmorphia_catching_up/
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I recently dropped some weight really quickly by going from constant bingeing to 2 weeks heavy restricting/fasting. Once the whoosh happened i could actually SEE the changes in the mirror and my clothes were fitting super differently, the changes were palpable. Literally, my thighs felt smaller when I walked. I was on cloud 9. Even though there's still a ways to go, my confidence sky rocketed and if it weren't for the scale reminding me im nowhere near my LW i think i mightve thought i was. I felt skinny. Anyway, ive since then been stalling because ive been struggling with limiting my intake but i haven't gained, just have stopped losing. Since then my dysmorphia caught on. I now feel like a whale again. Clothes are still loose, skinny clothes still fit, scale shows the same. But when i look at myself and touch my body i see and feel like, a whale. This body dysmorphia thing is hella real. I am exactly where i was a week and 2 weeks ago but the way i see myself went from "i should model/i am my own thinspo/skinny legend" to "everyone can tell I'm huge/everything jiggles/too fat to leave the house". I feel like since i lost weight so fast i was able to leave the dysmorphia box for a short bit and it just needed time to readjust to my new body and make me feel exactly like i did 10lbs ago. Great hahaha (:
Iām so frustrated with myself.
/u/SchtivanTheTrbl [5' 10"| CW: fat as **** | BMI: too damn high | -52 | M]
Created: Fri Aug 3 11:16:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94bh9y/im_so_frustrated_with_myself/
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I had been doing so much better the last few months. I wasnāt having anxiety attacks at the thought of food. I was eating things without worrying. I wasnāt counting calories. I wasnāt hanging out on these subs for hours at a time. I could enjoy food again.
And then I go and have a relapse. Now Iām restricting hard, trying to lose the weight I put back on because I wasnāt worrying about food. And right now is literally the worst time for me to fall back into this. Itās the end of my summer semester, and I have about a week to write a paper that I should have been writing this whole time. I need to be able to focus and think if Iām going to pass this class. I already failed a very important class last semester because I was starving myself so hard. I cannot afford to fail this one too.
I really shouldnāt be surprised that I had a relapse. Iām incredibly stressed right now, and when Iām stressed I donāt eat, because not eating is something that I can control when it feels as though life is crashing down around me. Seeing the number on the scale drop from day to day makes me feel happy and good about myself. Now that Iām tracking calories again, I feel good when I end the day several hundred calories below my goal. I forgot how much I love the feeling of the water flow down my throat as I try to fill my empty stomach.
I hate myself for restricting again at such a vital time, and I hate myself for letting myself gain that weight back when I wasnāt restricting. I just canāt win, and Iām just so frustrated.
[Help] Question
/u/swankarma [5'5 | CW: 126 | 20.9 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 11:07:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94befx/question/
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Forgive me if this is stupid, but does anyone know why when i touch some parts of my body, something? underneath the skin feels like its lumpy and textured, almost like marbles.
Is it like fat?
[Rant/Rave] This is my whole life right now and I feel so alone
/u/fastingfrycook
Created: Fri Aug 3 10:57:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94bawo/this_is_my_whole_life_right_now_and_i_feel_so/
---
It's all I do. It's all I think about. Even my art journal, my favorite thing in the world, is now mostly ED-related stuff. There are fewer drawings and art pages I can share with others irl. Most of what I think about is calories, how thin I can be, food, nutrition, exercise -- but in ways that are no longer related to athleticism and concern for wellness. I know that's who I am, under this. But right now I'm just my skeleton.
I laughed at an ED meme and the guy I'm dating looked over at my phone and saw. Then I wanted to show him something but chrome opened back up my "calories in macaroons" search right in front of him. I wanted to die. He didn't say anything. I hate that I can't enjoy a simple day with him without thinking about how fat I am and how disgusting I am and how insecure I feel and how disconnected I feel from being alive and how out of place I feel, like nothing around me is real and I don't belong here, with him, this isn't my world.
And no one gets it but people in ED groups, none of whom I know irl. And it's fucked up I kinda want one irl friend in the same situation, but would feel like I'm enabling them constantly and would honestly want them to enable me. It would feel horrible but I just feel so incredibly lonely no matter how many online groups I join.
Being called "Fry" is starting to create a side self I can be. Part of me likes it because my own self isn't this. This is not who I want to be but it's who I am right now with this disorder. That's Fry, my skeleton self. But I just almost wish someone would go for a walk with me, both of us checking our fitbits a thousand times and glaring at our calorie burn and laughing at memes and real shit together and talking about our lives, and call each other by our real names. I want to be him again. Just to feel human for a bit.
TFW you start your period and suddenly last night's tater tot binge make sense.
/u/myowneviltwin [5'5" | CW 101 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 10:50:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94b8xj/tfw_you_start_your_period_and_suddenly_last/
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[Other] what is even happening
/u/tzt-t
Created: Fri Aug 3 10:49:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94b8f3/what_is_even_happening/
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didn't really know what to flair this as, sorry. you guys are all just so helpful and supportive here and i need some perspective
ok so i had been restricting at about 600-800cals a day, fasting up to \~80 hours here and there, up until 2 weeks ago when my grandma came to visit (insert scream here). when she got here i was expected to eat a lot, second helpings and such (hooray for food-centered cultures) and consumed about 1500 cals a day, but exercised a decent amount, on top of a lot of meandering around town so that my daily net calories were \~1050 cals (not counting the meandering) but that's still so high and i just want to cry. i went from 104lbs (i'm female, 162cm) to 110lbs and now the scale reads around 111-113 (sometimes 115!!!) but it's analog so i can't even trust it so i'm probably like 120lbs and i hate that i let this happen. i usually exercise daily and burn about 400-500 cals per workout but lately i've also not been able to stop eating and i consume about 1000-1500 cals a day and then add whatever i've burned off. i'm not losing any weight and i know people here high restrict and still lose but i'm just getting bigger? and i can't stop eating! once i start it doesn't stop and i feel so awful and i just want to cry all the time someone please just tell me it's going to be ok or something because i'm going to lose it how did i let this happen
ps: i sprained my ankle really badly so i can't exercise anymore and i actually think i'm going to lose it.
[Goal] Anyone use Fitbit? What do you use it for and what are your goals?
/u/aciddfairy
Created: Fri Aug 3 10:43:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94b6ku/anyone_use_fitbit_what_do_you_use_it_for_and_what/
---
I used mine religiously when it first came out. I still use the flex just bc I like the simplicity. I put my goal at 15,000 steps per day and usually hit it if not come pretty close. I walk dogs for one of my jobs and walk to campus and stuff since I don't have a car. But I just recently started using it again after a few years and see that it has a ton of features like calorie goals and water intake!
Also sorry for no flair I'm still trying to figure out how to do that
How much can I lose before August 31?
/u/electraisdead
Created: Fri Aug 3 09:37:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94am1f/how_much_can_i_lose_before_august_31/
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I am rushing in the fall and orientation is on the 31, I rushed last year but I got dropped from all of them and I am pretty sure itās because I am/was too fat. My stats are F(20) 5ā5 CW: 148 GW: 130 UGW: 120. Iām thinking of eating less than 1000cal/weekday and less than 1200cal/weekend day. How much weight do you think I can lose?
[Rant/Rave] My Thighs are bumming me out
/u/RedPlaidPanda
Created: Fri Aug 3 09:19:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94agj2/my_thighs_are_bumming_me_out/
---
Anyone else triggered by their own body totally at random?
I was sitting on the couch cross legged while wearing short gym shorts and happened to glance down at my legs and suddenly I noticed āOMG I have the fattest most disgusting thighs!!ā
Iāve been upset since this morning and itās horrible because even if Iām not looking at them I know how fat they are. All I can do is keep doing my best to lose weight but itās such a slow process š
Iāve never had a thigh gap but I want one more than anything. What weight did you start seeing slimmer legs?
Low Calorie Beer ?
/u/rainesaway
Created: Fri Aug 3 09:15:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94afae/low_calorie_beer/
---
So, my friend is having a small party tonight and I want to drink but I don't want to go over my calorie limit. She said no liquor because she knows me and I drink super fast (and then throw up), so is there any good low calorie beer that you can get at the gas station ? I was thinking Lite Mike's Hard Lemonade but I'm not sure. Thanks !
[Tip] PSYLLIUM HUSK for all your pooping needs
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 121 | GW: 116 | 21F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 08:55:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94a99k/psyllium_husk_for_all_your_pooping_needs/
---
Eating irregularly and eating weird shit instead of balanced meals really messes with your digestive system. I'd always just kind of accepted it. Diarrhea and constipation on a weekly basis.
BUT I recently started seeing someone. I like him and I love sex. Diarrhea and constipation are both extremely unpleasant when having sex. Also, I'm one of those girls that pretends "girls don't poop" and I will never talk about it/do it around the guy I'm seeing.
So I discovered psyllium husk and oh my god. I take anywhere from 3-5 capsules a day (5 capsules is the serving size and is 10 cals), I have never had such consistent BMs and I also haven't had diarrhea since I started taking this a month ago.
Also, when I do have a BM I feel like it clears EVERYTHING out (but not in a laxative diarrhea kind of way). It feels amazing and you feel so empty and clean afterwards.
This stuff has been a god send and I want to share/hear if others have tried it!!
[Discussion] Anyone else lose weight and feel fatter?
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Fri Aug 3 08:42:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94a5ms/anyone_else_lose_weight_and_feel_fatter/
---
My properly calibrated scale says that I lost weight. I probably have. But since its summer vacation, and I wear very long, loose clothes, I don't notice my body changing that much... plus I see myself in the mirror all the time, so I don't really see a difference over time. My legs look fatter to me...
[Rant/Rave] Itās Starting
/u/caloriccontentsavant
Created: Fri Aug 3 08:32:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94a2os/its_starting/
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I was never diagnosed as anorexic in high school. I was never skinny enough. I was on the path, though. I remember chucking my lunch, skipping breakfast, etc. I remember wanting to feel hungry so I could chant āhunger is good, thin is goodā whenever it hit. I didnāt really know what calories were nor did I track them. I just, didnāt eat.
That got thrown off kilter when some issues came up at home and eating became, well, comforting. I never gained a lot of weight. I didnāt binge. But I literally hated every mouthful of food I consumed. It was such a love hate. Loving the idea of filling up with food, to feel comforted, to feel some security in the midst of what was happening. Then such loathing and self hatred for my weakness. For my selfishness. Selfish to want to eat. That I was worthy of food. And the guilt! Oh, the guilt.
I hated eating around others. College became annoying since friendships were forged in the dining hall. I obsessed over how others ate so I could mimic them. To eat ānormallyā because every time I ate, I felt abnormal. Didnāt help. I could feel the ānormalā food (sandwiches, pasta, chips, chicken tenders) flowing from my mouth to my stomach. My hips. My ass. It was miserable.
At some point, I made myself āget over it.ā I stopped obsessing. I counted calories, but to maintain weight. Never logged food. Just, a mental tally of things once I memorized portion sizes. And it worked. I wasnāt super skinny, but I was healthy.
Then suddenly, recently, itās slipping. Iām logging. Obsessively. I spend so much time tinkering on my fitness pal. It started as logging at the end of the day. Then after I ate. Then as I ate. Now Iām logging my whole fucking week in advance. Iām anxious about weekends when I know friends will want to drink and eat out.
Iām dreading Sunday visits with my mom where she cooks luxurious dishes that I canāt know the recipe for. I loathe dealing with her trying to show love by filling me with 1000s of calories, ignoring me when I say Iām full, making me feel guilty for asserting myself. The selfishness that my discomfort is an attack to her. That by saying Iām full after two fucking bowls of pasta or two giant fucking sandwiches means Iām trying to hurt her. That Iām fucking selfish because I have a social life outside of visiting her, and this binge cheat meal she allows herself IS NOT MY ONLY CHEAT MEAL. And for me not planning my whole fucking week around it means I AM SELFISH AND ATTACKING HER. GUESS IāM JUST A BITCH. And then Iāll try to tell her Iām loosing weight. āOh I remember in high school you were so thin and you just ate an apple at lunch and no breakfast. Why donāt you do that again?ā (Undertone: you have no self control now you fat fucking slob. I want to hurt you for making me feel bad, rejecting the 100000000th calorie Iāve given you today)
I feel myself slipping back to disordered eating. I donāt have a weight loss goal other than āthinner.ā I beat myself up for going over my calories. Iām putting stricter amounts on myself for daily consumption. I feel panic when I canāt mentally prepare for what Iām eating, when I donāt have control. I weigh myself multiple times a day.
I donāt know why Iām posting. Maybe some half hearted effort to put it all out there so I can maybe see a therapist and show them how this started if it gets worse.
The worst part? I donāt want to get help. I donāt want to turn this around. I like having this sort of secret from everyone. To have something no one knows about. Something all to myself. I just want to be thin and to make it look effortless.
[Discussion] How did your ED start?
/u/notadolphin1823
Created: Fri Aug 3 08:27:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94a1g5/how_did_your_ed_start/
---
I want to know how other peopleās disorders started. Was it slow and then you woke up one day and realized you had a problem? Or did it happen suddenly and all at once. How long did it take for it to get bad?
[Rant/Rave] I can never seem to prevent a binge!
/u/Gingervais
Created: Fri Aug 3 08:17:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/949ygs/i_can_never_seem_to_prevent_a_binge/
---
I might be wrong, but I feel like itās impossible to completely prevent a binge. Because, once the craving is in my head, I canāt think of anything else until I get that certain thing. Yesterday, I was really craving chocolate, I felt really weak like I had low blood sugar, so I had some pineapple instead to try and get some natural sugar or whatever.
But today that craving returned and was stronger than ever until I eventually went to the shop and binged on the chocolate anyway. Is it even possible to make it go away ffs
[Other] Relatable. Chapter 8: Analyzing Quantitative Data. š¤·āāļø
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | self-care]
Created: Fri Aug 3 07:56:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/949s9c/relatable_chapter_8_analyzing_quantitative_data/
---
https://i.redd.it/t6q9xek7wvd11.jpg
Should I lose more
/u/MrBrightside0604
Created: Fri Aug 3 07:49:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/949qiy/should_i_lose_more/
---
So, I need an honest opinion, should I gain weight, my weight right now is 44.6 kg and iām 164 cm tall(5ā4 and 98 pounds) iām 14 and male. My goal weight is 40kg, but I havenāt grown in height in a whole year, and my parents are threatening me with hospital, and currently I donāt weight enough to go back to school. If I donāt gain my mum will have to quit her job to stay with me, but I want to be thin, what do?
Watching other people fail to lose weight is so triggering for me.
/u/agent_philcoulson [27F 5'4" | CW: 132 | GW: 120 | UGW: 115]
Created: Fri Aug 3 07:35:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/949ms2/watching_other_people_fail_to_lose_weight_is_so/
---
I work with a lot of overweight and obese people, some of which are open about trying to lose weight. One of my coworkers 3 weeks ago proclaimed that she was going on a diet and was cutting out sugar, bread, and snacks. I was really happy for her. Today I walked past her desk and it was COVERED with cheetos, chips, soda. I got really upset. She's failing at her diet.
It sends me into a spiral of anxiety. Will I fail at my diet? Maybe I really can't control my binges and will never lose weight. My head is filled with so much self doubt.
This felt relatable.
/u/clazzidy
Created: Fri Aug 3 07:29:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/949l61/this_felt_relatable/
---
https://v.redd.it/mwphqfn3zsd11
I posted a picture to my finsta yesterday & the first comment was about my thigh gap.
/u/2ndfirstday [:redditgold: 5'5" | C 102.6 | G 95 | :downvote:1 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 07:19:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/949imr/i_posted_a_picture_to_my_finsta_yesterday_the/
---
> thigh gap goals
This was coming from a guy, and just based off of his sense of humour, he probably wasnāt too serious. But it still hasnt left my mind.
Does anyone feel like they've ruined their body?
/u/wannathrowyouaway
Created: Fri Aug 3 07:14:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/949h8v/does_anyone_feel_like_theyve_ruined_their_body/
---
I was overweight as a kid, then I lost some weight but my body was okay. I had some muscle tone and little to no stretch marks. I wasn't flabby at all. Then I lost more weight through starving and I got stretch marks, cellulite and no muscle mass. Now I'm flabby and covered in stretch marks, and I feel like even if I get to my ugw my body is ruined. But at least if I'm skinny the damage will be less, right? hahaha...ha
triggering binge thing
/u/monsterputt
Created: Fri Aug 3 06:39:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9498lp/triggering_binge_thing/
---
fuck. ive been in a binge cycle for almost 6 months
i have a line on the top of my stomach, like a roll, but its just my protruding stomach from being stretched, so when i sit it creases a bit if that makes sense.
my tits have grown and im not feeling it. its disgusting. im flat, but theyre sensitive and obviously growing. this is horrible.
now im going to probably binge or unhealthily restrict or fast. im completely aware of these self destructive behaviors, but i still do it. i havent even gained that much, i think my body is just distributing the fat but its so triggering.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! August 03, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 3 06:12:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94920r/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_august/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for August 03, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 03, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 3 06:12:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9491zl/daily_food_diary_august_03_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 03, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Let's complain about periods
/u/BIueJayWay [5"3| CW:107 |GW: 102 |BMI:18.9 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 05:54:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/948xq6/lets_complain_about_periods/
---
Some of y'all don't get your periods, but I'm quite there yet.. meh.
Like a week before my period, I balloon the FUCK UP and gain like 4 pounds, water retention and all. I guess I'm lucky, my period's only 4 days long usually and I only get cramps on the first two days.. but still! The week before is moody, craving-filled HELL. Good lord it makes me hate myself.
:(
[Rant/Rave] Down 4 pounds and scared to death Iāll mess it up this weekend
/u/RedPlaidPanda
Created: Fri Aug 3 05:45:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/948vm4/down_4_pounds_and_scared_to_death_ill_mess_it_up/
---
Iāve done awesome this past 7 days and Iām down 4 pounds but today I have to go to a birthday party with my family and tomorrow I have to go to a party at my friends house that I canāt skip. Iām so scared Iāll undo all my hard work. How do I deal with all the cake and party food Iām definitely going to look weird for turning down? Also itās so hard to turn it down in the first place. I have such a sweet tooth.
[Discussion] DAE wake up the day after eating more than usual looking and feeling slimmer?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine
Created: Fri Aug 3 05:36:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/948tud/dae_wake_up_the_day_after_eating_more_than_usual/
---
Last night after coming home from an exhausting shift at McDonaldās, I went ham and ate like 6 mini homemade cookies, sugar free pudding, and low cal ice cream. My calories for the day came out to around 1300-1600 give or take (usually I eat 700-900).
This morning I woke up and my stomach appeared flatter than it has in a long time, and my legs seemed slimmer too.
Has this happened to anyone else?
[Help] Iām struggling
/u/coffeeisafood
Created: Fri Aug 3 04:39:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/948hxu/im_struggling/
---
Hi. Iām not new here, Iāve been around for a long time and used to be very active here but deleted my account a few weeks ago. Iām back, because I honestly donāt know what to do right now. I have to vent. Please donāt take this as a cry for attention or anything. Itās 5:30 am and I havenāt slept for days and I feel like Iām going to lose it right now. I canāt stop crying and I have nowhere else to turn.
I havenāt been able to hold a job for almost a year. I canāt pay my bills, my car is up for repo, and I canāt bring myself to leave my house. Itās so bad. I was ārecoveredā but now Iām so fucking deep in my mental issues and restricting that I canāt function like a normal person. All I can think about when I leave the house is how other people see me. They think Iām disgusting, fat, etc. I literally have walked out of so many jobs because of my anxiety and my ED telling me they donāt want me there or that Iām too disgusting to be seen, etc. Iām physically scared to leave my house. Itās so over the top and it has completely consumed my life to the point where I canāt function. Iām so scared right now but at the same time I donāt care. I want everything to end. Nothing was like this until I tried ārecoveringā. When I was underweight and restricting...I somehow had it all together. My love life, my job, my future, school...I donāt know what happened.
You guys I donāt know what to do. I have no family. I have no friends. I have applied for so many jobs the past few months and NO ONE will hire me. Not even the most basic jobs. I genuinely donāt know what to do. Iāve even tried to get work from home jobs, and nothing is working. Iām trying to get my shit together but Iām running out of time and no one will give me a chance. My anxiety and my ED have taken over my brain and my life again and I donāt know what to do. My birthday is this week and all I can think about is how Iām in my mid twenties and canāt even function long enough to go get gas or walk to the mailbox. I donāt have insurance, Iāve looked into āfreeā help but itās all bullshit and I canāt even afford to get a fucking Diet Coke if I wanted to right now.
You guys were always here for me before, and Iām sorry that this is so negative. I know I wonāt be judged here but this is still so scary to post. I just really need to feel less alone right now. Iāve never considered truly harming myself until tonight and Iām so fucking scared. I honestly have nothing and no one. Iāll probably delete this and feel like an idiot tomorrow, like most of my posts. Fuck. Iām sorry you guys.
[Discussion] I keep seeing these being advertised so I've decided to try them, wish me luck....
/u/imgonnaloseitall
Created: Fri Aug 3 04:29:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/948g23/i_keep_seeing_these_being_advertised_so_ive/
---
https://i.redd.it/33poc0p9vud11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like their work was for nothing?
/u/smolbeanbaby [5'2 | 132 | 24.1 | 34 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 04:00:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/948ai1/dae_feel_like_their_work_was_for_nothing/
---
like i worked my ass off to lose this much fuckin weight. i lost all of it. i starved myself. i fasted. i ended up in the hospital once. i abused caffeine pills and laxatives and yet here i am. alone. i might be a decent weight but no one loves me. the guy i love has a girlfriend and sheās heavier than me(an awful thing to say, i know) and it just makes me think like, i lost this weight for people to love me, but these girls havenāt lost weight and they still get loved?
i feel horrible. i hate myself for thinking like this. i just want to feel loved and i feel like i wonāt unless iām small enough, but then thereās these happy girls who arenāt tiny and theyāre loved and he loves her and i just... i dunno anymore. nothing makes sense. i donāt know.
iām such a terrible person.
Drunken remorse
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Fri Aug 3 03:20:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9483d5/drunken_remorse/
---
Out of all the things I did last night, I regret the sheer amount of calories I consumed. Bar snacks, cocktails, champagne then McDonalds!
It was a fun night but now I feel as though my fast has been for nothing. I suppose I did end up dancing a lot, so maybe that balanced it out a bit....
Who am I kidding??
Fuck! I'm going to have to go for a run today hungover and I can barely move and it's so fucking hot.
We went to a strip club and all the girls were real life thinspo. It made me feel so self conscious. Urrrgggh
[Help] Poop advice
/u/insomniaed [5'2 | CW: 54 | GW: 45 | F 20]
Created: Fri Aug 3 03:10:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9481q1/poop_advice/
---
Hi, anyone know how i can get rid of all this damn waste /without/ using laxatives? I really really don't want to abuse them :/
Any tips what works best for you in your experience? Shoot me your best advice when it comes to pooping pls lol
[Rant/Rave] Je m'en fiche. I'll just keep walking.
/u/ObscuredBear [š 156cm | HW:172 CW:116 GW: 92 | 23NB š]
Created: Fri Aug 3 02:51:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/947y9n/je_men_fiche_ill_just_keep_walking/
---
Disrupted & frazzled, I am. Cause: house is being sold by landlord. <2 months notice, am out before Sept 30^(th). Been living here for 3+ years now, wedged myself in like a cockroach. :) Am autistic and change is... challenging.
I actually have strongly wanted to move for quite a while now! Had de-prioritized apartment hunting until winter, as I *need* to stay close to mental health resources. Stability & vast improvement is expected by early spring at latest. It was only a few months... ... ... I had finally asked for & received help?
Moving once vastly preferred to moving twice; disruption\*2, eh. I want to move back to the country&quiet&nature. When my cockroach-ass is forced out, I really don't want myself to wedge into another cold-ass basement in BusyTown-of-Noise for another 3 years.
I'm **scared**: I am not prepared to apartment hunt. I've been tipping actively suicidal again for months. Passive is normal; active is scare-the-bejebbers intimidating. Haven't been actively suicidal since I was a teenager. Humph.
I'm ***angry*** as all-get-out: Fudge-you M.B for disrupting my plans!!! If sale of house is set in stone, you've had to have been *considering* it for months now... and you only tell me last night? Not a hint of *anything* before last night... We talk. We live in the same *fudge-ing* house. We get along well. (i'm **confused** & don't understand? i'm **sad**. i don't understand.)
Timing is simply *perfect* in other ways too, eh! I get to compete with *all* the post-secondary students looking for cheap housing. š Hmm... thinking... Might just not push myself too hard to apartment hunt? Worse comes to worst: back to the Shelter I go. Served me well a while back. It was fine, will be fine again. *Please* stop panicking brain; as we have fall-back?
...
Will eat as *planned* today, 450-500 calories mostly from protein.
Tomorrow & Onward: Just keep walking.
if able to walk >20000 steps without too much difficulty:
You don't have to eat (if you don't want to).
Binge-ing has not been enjoyable, even during!, for 6+ months now. My appetite may generously be called poor. The texture of even non-meat is quite unpleasant.
So**.** No more trying to apply breaks to weight loss & mostly failing. You don't want to eat? Don't force yourself & don't trick yourself**.** Your existence is a fudge-ing joke; don't make yourself miserable trying to prolong it. You can still find some enjoyment in walking at night while listening to podcasts&music&audio-books; so keep walking. Just keep walking.
I *was trying* to get better. Now? Je m'en fiche. Je m'en fudge-ing fous, even.
^(Apologies for disjointed writing style. Frazzled as mentioned.)
[Rant/Rave] I fuxking hate eating
/u/EternalVertigo
Created: Fri Aug 3 02:44:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/947x2u/i_fuxking_hate_eating/
---
Every time I eat, I feel my fucking fat rolls so mUCH mORE!!!! I hate when I accidently touch some disgusting part of my disgusting fucking body, makes me wanna die.
I opened up to my psychologist today about my ED.
/u/Moomaliciousoz
Created: Fri Aug 3 02:40:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/947wes/i_opened_up_to_my_psychologist_today_about_my_ed/
---
Long time lurker here.. I have been seeing a psychologist for generalised anxiety disorder and I opened up to her today about my binge eating disorder and it went really well. I was so scared because I saw someone about 15 years ago for help and she told me the girls she usually sees are much skinnier than me. It kind of planted it in my he'd that I couldn't go for help until I got really underweight.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell someone who would understand.. Its a big releif to have someone take me seriously.
[Discussion] Cleanses and flushes
/u/rosecoloredidiot [21F | CW: 64kg BMI: 24.5 | GW: 45kg ]
Created: Fri Aug 3 01:31:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/947kgb/cleanses_and_flushes/
---
This new wanting to "flush" obsession came after I saw the salt water flush. It was crazy to see the results people get (10lbs in a day?? I know it's all poop and water weight but **damn**), and I wanted to try one.
Well, nope. It seems pretty clear after reading that I should absolutely not do it because I have only one kidney.
However, I want to "flush" everything out and have similar results, but not sure of any other drink that would cause a similar effect. Sure, I could just try a normal laxative but I just don't think it's going to give me the same results. Honestly, I considered doing the flush anyways, but it's probably not wise.
Does anyone know of a decent one? I'm sorry if this is against the rules, it's just that in addition to wanted to see some wild results, I could definitely benefit from "flushing" today. š¶
Restriction Time
/u/n34543
Created: Fri Aug 3 01:27:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/947jnb/restriction_time/
---
I've been stuck in a binge cycle for 9 months. Before that, I had restricted for 4 months. I can't eat normally. It's either binge or restrict.
I can feel another restriction cycle coming along just by my old restriction habits that are starting to come back. Drinking tons of caffeine. Skipping meals and going to bed instead. Drinking water instead of eating. Tons of gum. I forgot got how great it felt to be empty and light instead of full and depressed after binging.
I really wish I could lose this weight in a healthy way. But I REALLY want to lose the weight. I'm back in the 120s but I know that it's due to my weight fluctuations. If I eat too much salt or overindulgence during a meal, I'll be back up to 135 in no time. I look my best at around 113-117. It just suits me perfectly. I feel so much lighter when I walk. I'm 5'5 so that isn't even underweight.
However, I need to stay in athletic shape in order to play sports. Last time I restricted I would bruise if someone touched me with any excess pressure. I'd love to be at my goal weight but still be able to perform well athletically. I feel like I'd probably have to lose weight in a healthier weight but I can't. I've been going to the gym everyday and I've even started running again. I lost my period again which isn't good but in a sick way, I can tell I am actually restricting.
I'm still not completely in control. I have days where I still binge when I'm bored or I overthink myself into believing I should eat something. I still crave and sometimes eat tahini, avocado, and almonds, which are all wayyy to fatty for me. But if I can just remember how great I felt and looked at 113, I know I should be able to pull this off.
I don't really know why I wrote all this but hopefully it'll remind me how badly I want to be at a healthy weight like 113. I looked better, felt better, and was better. Hopefully I can remind myself how much more I want this than the stupid craving I have for stupid foods.
Most filling proED meal
/u/alreadydeadjess
Created: Fri Aug 3 01:17:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/947hwd/most_filling_proed_meal/
---
Iām looking for new ideas and recipes to try!
[Other] was feeling really good today so i took myself out on a lil beach dinner date (raspberries + strawberries + blackberries = 219)
/u/isaezraa [165 | CW 55 | GW 50 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 00:52:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/947cv1/was_feeling_really_good_today_so_i_took_myself/
---
https://i.redd.it/78y0z5xkstd11.jpg
Iāve lost it and I feel like giving up
/u/Whose_cat_is_that
Created: Fri Aug 3 00:25:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9477p7/ive_lost_it_and_i_feel_like_giving_up/
---
I lost 10kg since March. I was restricting well. Iāve been stuck at my CW for more than a month. I canāt make myself restrict. Iām not binge eating, but Iām still overeating. I canāt mentally get back into the right mind frame. I feel like I need someone to come straight out with it and tell me how disgusting and awful I look so I can snap out of whatever it is thatās messing my head up.
[Discussion] DAE vastly overestimate their food/binges?
/u/throwawayjhs0218 [5'2 | HW: 222 | CW: 219 | GW: 105 | 15/F]
Created: Fri Aug 3 00:05:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9473p4/dae_vastly_overestimate_their_foodbinges/
---
like for example i made cookies at 11 pm because i've given up on life and i logged it as the entire package of cookies + a gallon of milk even though i know that's not how much i ate lol. and whenever i binge i just log it as 5000 calories even though that's probably not accurate. i guess it just makes me feel better knowing i didn't REALLY eat that much (even though i still ate a fucking lot lmao). does anyone else do this??
shitting over doctor's appointment tomorrow
/u/whatsupbitchezzz
Created: Thu Aug 2 23:36:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/946y1i/shitting_over_doctors_appointment_tomorrow/
---
i've lost about 10-15 pounds since the summer began. i was told to come back in two months (now) because i was "malnourished" and "severely lacking" several vitamins last time despite being a totally normal weight. i wouldn't be worried because i'm still a normal weight, but i'm much lighter now, my parents have started to catch on, and my mom is coming to my appointment. :(
i want counseling for the self esteem issues that are causing me to b/p and calorie count but i don't want to gain any weight or be pulled out of my normal life for some bs treatment program i don't need. any insight on what i can say to get sent to just a counselor and not a program?
Wendys Chili freak out
/u/StarburnerRav [5' 10" |Trumps salary in lbs | -40 lbs | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 2 23:33:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/946xie/wendys_chili_freak_out/
---
Okay so I've been restricting for the last few days, after being on what seemed like an endless binge phase. I for real gained like 80 lbs. I finally had enough (saw an old pic of myself. Ouch) and started restricting again. For the last three or four days I've eaten about 200-400 calories a day. The first two days I was losing weight at the rate that I normally do when restricting this way, but the last two days I've had nothing to eat but one large Wendys chili (which everywhere says is 250 calories) each day and I've gained 2 lbs.
I'm freaking out. Is the chili secretly more calories? Even if it was a little more, it shouldn't cause me to gain 2 lbs. x\_x Is it those two sips of a non zero calorie Gatorade I had?? I didn't mean to!
Rant: Things my mom/friend says
/u/DiabolicalFruits [5'5 | CW: 154 | GW: 120 | -6 lbs | 18F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 23:18:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/946ujx/rant_things_my_momfriend_says/
---
I know I'm not the only who has a parent, specifically a mom, who says things that don't help our disorder, but god, sometimes it just gets to me. Plus, my closest friend, someone I've spent so many years with, has really been getting on my nerves as of late.
I have very extreme mood swings that happen often, daily or almost daily. I know I need to go to a psychiatrist and get my symptoms checked out, but it's hassle because of some things going on right now, so I'm waiting until I move in a couple weeks. Anyway, my friend knows this; we've had a heart to heart before where we both cried together because of how erratic I had been for the past year, year and a half, two years, and how it had affected my relationships with her and others. So she knows that sometimes I have days where I have severe downward mood swings so bad that I literally can't stop crying and want to kill myself, where it feels like I'm so messed up that even trying is pointless, where I feel like I'm in pain that I can't make stop...and that will go away after a day, two days, or even just hours. I had one these mood swings on a day that she called me wanting to do stuff, and at the time I was in tears and didn't want to even try going out, so I said no, but called her back later when I thought it would be good for me and I'd be able to handle it. I was hoping to be able to talk to her about what I was feeling because my parents aren't an option, and I have no one else. But, as soon as I got to her house, she spent about an hour talking about useless shit(and by useless shit, I mean random stories about her third cousin that she rarely sees and I have never met who bought a new house next to some famous actor and so on and so forth) that I didn't care about. Fine, whatever, she must not have had much social interaction with people and needed to babble some. I didn't mind at first, though it was a bit overwhelming. But then, in the car ride to where we were going, she also barely let me talk. It wasn't even about anything important, and you would think someone so close to me would notice me being overly quiet when I'm not typically like that around her. Nope. I tried to bring up my mood swings and how I was feeling about them/how I was feeling that day, and she diverted the conversation right back to herself, about something that didn't really matter. After that, I just gave up, and she never noticed. Then, not ten minutes later, she wanted to grab something from a McDonald's drive through before we went and saw a movie.Which was fine, I didn't want anything and I didn't get anything. But, while we were waiting to get her food, she was staring at me and said, "I'm sorry if this comes out rude or whatever, but you look like you've been gaining weight."
I told her that I hadn't and that I had been tracking my weight(which was the truth, I had actually lost some from the last time I had saw her), and then she said,"Well, it must be transferring to your neck, then, cause your double chin is really showing right now."
Fucking great, thanks. I just muttered something in response and held in my tears until we got to the theater and the lights went down. I was very clearly having a bad day, she knows how I am about my looks/weight anyway, and I already knew I looked a bit of a mess because I just barely forced myself to go out with her. I made myself go out partly because of how disappointed she sounded when I had turned her down earlier, and partly because I needed to talk and hoped I would feel better after going out and spending some time with her. Guess I was wrong to hope that.
That's just one of a number of things she'd done recently that has made me avoid her, but I'm not going into all that. As for my mom, well, we'd be here for weeks if I tried to write down everything she's said to me, but I just feel the need to rant about what has been going on lately with her.
So, she used to be heavy, upper 180s, and has lost a bunch of weight(lighter than me now). The thing is, though, I think she developed an eating disorder as well. I didn't encourage it; actually, I encouraged her to eat healthy, eat plenty, and workout to lose weight, but that's not what she did(not that I'm blaming her; I'd be a hypocrite to do so). That being said, she has developed an eating disorder, and now she spends all her time chewing on me about how much/how little I work out, or what/how much/how little I eat(though that's nothing new, it's become more extreme).
Meaning, every time I go to workout, she wants to go with me. Every time I choose to rest a day or something, she gripes at me saying I'm never going to lose weight, I'm lazy, etc. Every single thing I eat is commented on, no matter how good or bad it is for me. I drank a bottle of Soylent for lunch one day, and she commented on how I should have drank one of our diet drinks instead; it has fewer calories. I've gotten so tough skinned that almost nothing anyone says to me hurts me(literally had someone call me a bitch before, and I laughed even though they were serious), but sometimes I have those days(like with my friend above) where it just hits me hard. But, the thing she said to me that got to me was earlier today, after she had been nagging on me to eat dinner since I had skipped yesterday. She asked what I had even eaten today, and I told her a bowl of popcorn, an apple, cereal, and three cookies, cause she seemed to think I had eaten nothing. When she heard I had eaten three cookies(which, wasn't even on a binge; I've just been working out and felt like I earned it for once), she said, "Maybe you should look in a mirror when you eat to stop yourself."
At first I didn't say anything, as I was confused as to what she was trying to say. I assumed she was calling me fat, but then she continued with, "You know, because of your acne. It'll make it worse."
Gee, thanks, Mom, as if I didn't know I had acne when you only remind me every day. As if me staring at it in a mirror while eating sounds like a healthy thing to do in the first place.
I swear I could go on forever listing shitty things these two have said/done to me, but I'll stop. I'm just having one my mood swings and I'll have another one in a day where I'll be super happy again!!! Because it's not exhausting at all just dealing with that!
Anyway, I know this was a very long and negative post, my apologies, I just needed to get some of this off of my chest. Anyone else have family/friends who say these kinds of things?
On a positive note, I've started losing weight again, I've been eating pretty healthy(besides those three damn cookies, lol), and I've been working out regularly. So that's good, and I'm happy about that. Happy about moving into a dorm in a couple weeks, too. So I guess it's not all shitty even though it feels like it sometimes. Things will get better.
[Rant/Rave] skinny shaming and fat shaming is the same shit.
/u/chzkayla
Created: Thu Aug 2 23:15:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/946ttb/skinny_shaming_and_fat_shaming_is_the_same_shit/
---
i am fucking done with people trying to āskinny shameā me just bc i lose weight,
āoh you donāt have an ass anymoreā
āyou looked better in the past when you have fats where you should have themā
āyou had boobsā
shut the fuck up, seriously. and no i didnāt had an ass, i had fats stuck on my butt, fats that i managed to lose away, i can train and have perky butt, but i wonāt.
just shut the fuck up and eat your mcd or your 1000 calorie chinese food.
i do not understand why people think itās alright to skinny shame others, and create a huge hooha if they felt fat shamed. if you feel bad about being fat shamed what makes you think that i do not feel like a piece of shit when you skinny shame me? like seriously.
skinny shaming is a thing, and yes itās equally as bad as fat shaming especially when you have no idea what that skinny person is going through.
like fuck you and your insensitivity (and your double mcspicy or whatever)
I've given up for today, tomorrow will be better.
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5 | CW 140(?) | GW 115 | LW 110]
Created: Thu Aug 2 23:08:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/946sau/ive_given_up_for_today_tomorrow_will_be_better/
---
Went for breakfast and had French toast, then ended up having Lebanese food for dinner and just finished my day with last minute dessert. Ending my day with roughly 3000cal, ruining my low restriction for the week.
I'm sort of mad I let myself be so easily convinced by my friend who wanted to go out several times but ultimately it's my fault. /sad
Stuck at 131 :c
/u/fweakybby [5ā5ā | 132| 22.0 | 68lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 22:41:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/946mfd/stuck_at_131_c/
---
I havenāt been binging as bad, been staying around/under 1000 calories, yoga daily, etc. but I canāt get past 131.6 lbs. I was feeling semi okay about it, then I read an old journal of mine from high school and Iād wrote down my weight. 132. I thought I was the skinniest Iāve ever been but apparently at one point I was this weight. Now I REALLY feel the need to get below 130.
Had to hide myself crying during I Feel Pretty
/u/carbslut
Created: Thu Aug 2 22:35:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/946kvb/had_to_hide_myself_crying_during_i_feel_pretty/
---
My sister suggested we watch the Amy Schumer movie, I Feel Pretty.
Amy Schumer hits her head and wakes up and sees her same body, except she LOVES it and keeps looking in the mirror and saying stuff like, āOMG I am look at my abs! Looks at me arms! I am so gorgeous.ā
I had to keep my bawling silent.
I chant to myself often.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Thu Aug 2 22:00:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/946ctm/i_chant_to_myself_often/
---
I must become thinner. That one is a common refrain. Thinner, thinner, I must become thinner. You are not hungry enough, Iāll whisper to the mirror.
Over and over again. A mantra. No, a spell. An incantation to melt fat. God, help me, I sometimes pray. But no one answers, and no spell avails.
[Thinspo] Who are your favorite people to follow on Instagram for thinspo who arenāt blatantly pro ed?
/u/blazeroftrails [5'6 | 119.7 lbs | GW 105]
Created: Thu Aug 2 21:56:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/946bw8/who_are_your_favorite_people_to_follow_on/
---
Iād like to follow some more people but I donāt wanna look sus
[Other] I just purged in my boyfriend's bathroom for the first time.
/u/Funktionierende [25F | 5'2" | CW131.2lbs | SW185lbs | GW100lbs | BMI24]
Created: Thu Aug 2 21:43:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9468ky/i_just_purged_in_my_boyfriends_bathroom_for_the/
---
We've only been together for a couple months. But we have a lot in common. We both have weird eating habits - my restriction/binge/purge cycles, and him with his absolute love for food but tendency to feel sick if he overeats, and sometimes forgetting to eat for days. So we basically have the same thing, except for him I don't think it's actually a disorder so much as just messed up routine (constantly switching between day and night shifts, living paycheque to paycheque, etc).
We're both addicts, him with crack and coke, me with benzos and sleeping pills. We're both raging insomniacs. We both come from fucked up families. We're both depressed, anxious trainwrecks. We both have bad history with relationships. We're both completely messed up and I think that's why we're simultaneously perfect for and destructive together.
He thinks I'm beautiful. I think he's wrong. He tells me I'm the most gorgeous woman he's ever laid eyes on. I think he's lying. He can't believe how lucky he is to have found me. I feel sorry for him having to deal with my shit.
He's working nights tonight but we had dinner before he left. I'm staying at his apartment for the evening because the game is on and I don't have cable at my place. When he walked out the door to head to work, i immediately went to the bathroom and purged dinner. I was well under maintenance but I just couldn't help myself. Now I'm tempted to go eat the leftovers.
I'm so tired. He's too good for me but he thinks it's the other way around. I don't understand why he's with me.
Maybe I'll just go take a couple of his sleeping pills and call it a night. He said they were there if I ever needed them.
[Other] I'm OBSESSED with this chart
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 81lbs | BMI: 15-something | -?lbs| f]
Created: Thu Aug 2 21:13:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94611o/im_obsessed_with_this_chart/
---
This chart shows average height and weight for different ages and genders, and I'm addicted!! It goes all the way from baby, to well and grown. it's super fun to see what age a goal weight would be normal for. I get a sick kick out of being more on par with an eleven year old than the grown ass woman I ought to be.
[here it is! ](https://www.disabled-world.com/calculators-charts/height-weight-teens.php)
[Rant/Rave] DAE spiral thoughts lead them to their ED?
/u/PM-ME-CORGIS
Created: Thu Aug 2 21:10:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94608u/dae_spiral_thoughts_lead_them_to_their_ed/
---
My boyfriend is in a competition for some money (it lasts a week) and I said "how are you gonna spend it? On me?" as a joke, and he said "probably would go straight to my bank account, wouldn't wanna waste it all." I was hurt and he quickly backtracked saying it was a poor choice of words but my thoughts immediately spiraled: he doesn't want to spend money on me >> maybe if he was scared of losing me he would wanna woo me, spoil me >> maybe if i was prettier he'd be worried >> maybe if i was thin i'd be pretty >> maybe if i would stop fucking eating i'd be pretty.... and so on. It's so dumb, this illogical and selfish train of thought. He even said "oh boy" when he saw my face drop. It's just... I feel so horrible for putting this strain on him but I just always think it boils down to me me me my disorder me me me.
1 month of no weight/calorie tracking
/u/itsalonstora [CBMI: 21.9 | GBMI: 21.5 | UGBMI: 19.7]
Created: Thu Aug 2 20:46:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/945u3o/1_month_of_no_weightcalorie_tracking/
---
After only managing to loose 1 pound last month despite working my ass off, for the rest of August I'm gonna completely ignore numbers except for steps. I'm still trying to lose weight, but it's reached obbsession levels and I'm slowly losing my shit. Why am I obsessing over body wash, and groceries. It's like the stress of control is leaking into other areas of my life.
First weigh in may not actually be until the end of the first or second week of September since I have a vacation that I know will result in water weight. Probs the second Thursday of September.
Still gonna follow close to the same strict meal plan as before. Steps are still being tracked as I wanna hit the 10k goal since exercise is healthy. GW is gonna be just be at a decent weight. Also wanna focus on not binging.
Hopefully it all goes well, if it feels like I'm slipping this experiment will be abandoned, but I think I can do this
[Other] Welp,see ya the other side!
/u/cryingboi65
Created: Thu Aug 2 20:32:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/945qs9/welpsee_ya_the_other_side/
---
I've decided I'm going to try and recover because I'm not happy and it feels like I'll never be satisfied this way,wish me luck
[Discussion] Calories in gum?
/u/RedPlaidPanda
Created: Thu Aug 2 20:27:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/945pf9/calories_in_gum/
---
I chew gum to stop binges sometimes, right now Iām chewing sugar free juicy fruit, the Square crunchy ones. I only chew each peace for maybe a minute or less before spitting it out and getting a fresh piece, makes it feel more like candy. My question is, does it still have 5 calories a piece if I only chew it for like 45 seconds??
I think Carrot is the real life manifestation of my conscience......
/u/Isaidbiiiitttttttchh [Height 5ā9ā| HW:216| CW:150 | GW: 132 Gender: F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 20:25:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/945p0v/i_think_carrot_is_the_real_life_manifestation_of/
---
https://i.redd.it/7uvdsa3zgsd11.jpg
When your neuroses is showing
/u/LeOssa
Created: Thu Aug 2 20:00:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/945in4/when_your_neuroses_is_showing/
---
https://imgur.com/y3aW3Vi
I am DISGUSTED
/u/subarremos
Created: Thu Aug 2 19:50:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/945ft7/i_am_disgusted/
---
When I see myself on reflections at the train, I think I look okay, I only wish I was taller and my legs were longer...
but today I decided to workout for the first time in maybe 5 months and when I saw myself in gym clothes I felt so disgusted with my body.. I thought that I look like someone who just gave birth.
Could my mind be tricking me? I remember last year I used to go to the gym often and I liked my body in those clothes (and I was like 4 kg heavier) I looked slimmer.
People tell me I look skinnier than before, but they donāt see me without clothes.
I just wanted to share my thoughts with you.
Im sorry if my English is weird
[Discussion] fav thinspo/fitspo/etc blogs?
/u/sweaterbug
Created: Thu Aug 2 19:46:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/945eyp/fav_thinspofitspoetc_blogs/
---
i use tumblr so thatd be cool but instagrams are good too! ā¤
2,500 cal binge today
/u/solidpenis
Created: Thu Aug 2 19:43:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/945e16/2500_cal_binge_today/
---
Needless to say I fucking hate myself, I was doing so well the whole week and I just had to fuck it up. I didnāt even want to keep eating, set myself back real good. How to move forward? Gonna fast tomorrow and maybe the next day to try to keep some sort of balance in the week. Today is such shit, I feel like a failure
[Help] Anxiety, gym, need help...
/u/depressed_goose
Created: Thu Aug 2 19:37:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/945cju/anxiety_gym_need_help/
---
Well, I wanted to get sleep but someone is downstairs and has been chewing/cracking open sunflower seeds for a fucking HOUR. I canāt sleep, and the noise is making me RAGE. Iām not gonna tell them to stop, though.
So here I am, after an exhausting purge. I am sad. Very, very sad and alone.
I want to go to the gym, but I have always had anxiety there and felt like a good. Always. The air here is shitty and itās hot and thereās people outside, otherwise Iād run. I just want to get on the treadmill and walk and jog for hours.
āNo one is paying attention to you:))) just gO!ā
Firstly, no. Iāve met people who poke fun at others, video tape others, and men are ALWAYS assessing you āfuckabilityā. Always.
Treadmills are expensive and the noise will enrage my family.
tl;dr any advice or words to get the fuck over my insecurity and just GO?!
[Rant/Rave] how to stop a binge in its tracks (tw i guess, for just general grossness)
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1.5" | CW202.4 | BMI38 | -18 | 22M]
Created: Thu Aug 2 19:34:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/945btf/how_to_stop_a_binge_in_its_tracks_tw_i_guess_for/
---
-get a fountain diet soda
-find cockroach leg at the bottom of your cup
-congratulations, purging is suddenly a breeze if you even managed to eat anything to begin with...
I've had the worst day today my loves, and this is how it's ending
"A caffeinated soda you could drink all day, instead of coffee, without getting super fat?" - from The New Yorker on the Rise & Fall of Diet Coke
/u/TreatmentTime [5'9 | 132 | 19.5 | -34.2]
Created: Thu Aug 2 19:26:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9459vb/a_caffeinated_soda_you_could_drink_all_day/
---
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/the-decline-and-fall-of-diet-coke-and-the-power-generation-that-loved-it?utm_campaign=likeshopme&mbid=social_instagram&utm_medium=instagram&utm_source=www.instagram.com/p/Bl_KIr6ArNd/&utm_content=www.instagram.com/p/Bl_KIr6ArNd/
...could I have the beginning of an ED?
/u/pusheen753
Created: Thu Aug 2 19:26:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9459oz/could_i_have_the_beginning_of_an_ed/
---
im wondering if i may end up with an eating disorder one day.
I already suffer from depression/anxiety and have a past of cutting. sometimes, i dont let myself eat unless i am served a meal by someone else (which happens everyday) and i reduce my calories in everything I drink. I do this when i feel worthless and like i have nothing to be proud of about myself, and when I feel like I want to self harm again. I think of it as a way to self harm without anyone knowing, as it leaves no scars or scabs and i eat in front of people so theyre not suspicious or anything. I only go through phases of this. I feel proud of myself if i dont eat more calories then I let myself eat, or even better, if i eat less then that. Hence why I do this if my self esteem hits a huge low.
Can anyone help?
Lots of comments lately
/u/starvy_punk
Created: Thu Aug 2 19:22:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9458ph/lots_of_comments_lately/
---
Lately ive been recieving tons of comments lately on how skinny ive, how much weight ive lost, to StOp LoSiNg WeiGhT nOw, etc.
And it feels like *great* right.
But at the same time ive basically just been high restricting for the last two weeks. Basically coasting. No one said *shit* when i was fasting for 5+ days.
Im so confused and i dont even know how to go from here. Like do i keep restricting, or like go back to fasting? What the fuck.
š§ confused š§
What happens when you donāt eat in a psych ward?
/u/burgundyandbees
Created: Thu Aug 2 19:20:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9458co/what_happens_when_you_dont_eat_in_a_psych_ward/
---
Some history:
Iām an overweight (close to obese) 24f thatās lost 35kg/77lbs in the last couple of months due to my undiagnosed EDNOS. I usually eat less than 400cal a day, if at all, and I regularly purge because I feel too guilty after eating. This isnāt a new thing, itās been recurring every couple of years since I was 11.
Okay, now hereās whatās going on:
On Wednesday night I was admitted to a psych ward due to a suicide attempt. Itās now Friday morning and Iāve not yet had anything to eat because I find it too easy to avoid temptation while in here because food is inaccessible unless itās the designated eating time which so far Iāve just napped through or ignored.
Because Iām overweight and not in here for anything ED related - what will they do if I donāt eat? Most people overlook my eating disorder because Iām fat, or they accept and even encourage it, so will they take notice that Iām not eating? Will they make me eat? Will they keep me in here longer if I donāt eat?
I know this may not be a common question to ask, but Iām genuinely curious and donāt want to ask a staff member in case they pick up on it.
[Discussion] another peach thread maybe? š
/u/dre-ezy [5ā4 | CW 107 | GW 100 | 18FtM]
Created: Thu Aug 2 18:53:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9451eq/another_peach_thread_maybe/
---
add me! @dreezys
[Discussion] How does it happen?
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Thu Aug 2 18:46:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944zko/how_does_it_happen/
---
Weāve all heard the age old stories of anorexics who eventually became overweight. I have never met anyone that this has happened to and definitely donāt want it happening to me. To anyone that this has happened to, how does it happen?
[Tip] Vegan Keto day 4- meal plan and supplements
/u/linedryonly [5'5"ā| CW 133 | SW 145 | LW 102 | GW 110]
Created: Thu Aug 2 18:41:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944yc9/vegan_keto_day_4_meal_plan_and_supplements/
---
Okay, some people were asking about my meal plan so here it is:
AM
* Black tea with 3g of coconut oil and and some almond milk.
* Drink a liter of water with : Vit D supplement, CoQ10 supplement, Multivitamin with vit b12, fiber supplement.
AT WORK
* Vegan, low-carb protein drink with almond milk
* Snacks: gonjak jelly pouch, 20g almonds, seaweed snack.
* Drink a liter of water with: green coffee supplement (low caffeine so I can sleep at night) and glucomannan supplement (near the end of the day to prevent night binging).
PM
* Half a block of tofu (freeze the day before and boil before pan frying for better texture) fried in 12g coconut oil, add 1 tbsp soy sauce, season with hot pepper flakes and serve on a bowl of lettuce.
* Another protein drink
* If still hungry: snack on gonjak jelly pouch and seaweed snack.
* Drink a liter of water with: fiber supplement and BCAA (helps prevent muscle wasting in favor of fat loss).
The total is around 1000 calories and around 15 net carbs. I admit that adding coconut oil to my morning tea really freaks me out, but just a little goes a long way. I drink it around 7am and am not hungry until 12.
If I am feeling ravenous, here are my safe foods to 'binge' on just in case so I don't ruin my keto streak:
* almond milk (35cal/serving, unsweetened)
* an extra seaweed snack or gonjak pouch (I get 'diet' ones, so they're 4 calories/1 carb per pouch)
* shiritaki "ramen" (a bowl of noodles for about 12 calories plus broth. If I feel like I'm going to die, I add a hard boiled egg but don't eat most of the yolk, so total it's about 50 calories and super filling)
* our lord and saviour, diet coke
* lime sparkling water if I'm craving fruit
Feel free to ask questions:) I'd be interested in what other people eat for vegan and/or keto. I'm living in Asia right now, so my menu is kind of skewed by stuff I can find easily here.
[Rant/Rave] āThereās no way I could eat this whole box of cookies :)ā
/u/Heartfeltregret
Created: Thu Aug 2 18:36:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944wzo/theres_no_way_i_could_eat_this_whole_box_of/
---
Not much to say here except I was dead wrong. There were 12, 130 each, I had already had ~1000 calories. End my life pls
[Discussion] The double edge sword of a first successful purge
/u/lilmeeble
Created: Thu Aug 2 18:20:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944sux/the_double_edge_sword_of_a_first_successful_purge/
---
For YEARS Iāve struggled with BED with intermittent fasting, always jealous of those able to throw the calories up. Iāve tried drinking saltwater, fingers down my throat, looking at gross images - nothing ever worked. But today I finally was able to successfully purge.
Iām on one hand pleased with myself and feel like I finally have some sort of control, but on the other hand Iām worried that Iāll go binge-crazy and not be able to do this again.
Im really scared of the fact that I purge now.
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Thu Aug 2 18:03:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944o0w/im_really_scared_of_the_fact_that_i_purge_now/
---
I've always been your run of the mill, textbook anorexic. Well since figuring out how to purge it's joined the restriction team. I don't typically really binge prior to purging. I.e. today I purged a pickle, diet Coke, and 2 strawberries. I've purged celery. This shit is getting very out of hand and I already have more than enough bad habits. Does anyone have advice on making this stop??? I just want my safe foods to be safe again :(
I have T2 diabetes and it makes me feel so fat and guilty
/u/darktriadthrowaway
Created: Thu Aug 2 17:56:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944m7p/i_have_t2_diabetes_and_it_makes_me_feel_so_fat/
---
I got diagnosed with T2 diabetes when I was 20 and I weighed 130 lbs. A little high but absolutely in the normal range. If you didn't already know, T2 diabetes is usually diagnosed in old people or very overweight people.
The doctors think that my family has a rare genetic form because my mom was diagnosed with T1 at age 30 but had a similar presentation to me, but genetic testing hasn't shown anything so for now I'm a type 2 diabetic.
Literally anytime that I tell people that I have this, they act super shocked and say "but you're so young and THIN". It's so triggering because I feel like they're examining my body and I know that I could be so much thinner. I used to be 115 lbs and my UGW is 105-110 lbs but I'm 124 at the moment. I'm so afraid that if I gain weight, people will stop being shocked about me being a T2 diabetic and I can't handle that.
IDK, I just want the glamorous type of diabetes, not the type that you get for completely destroying your body. And I know that restricting is considered a no-no for diabetics but my doctor literally high-fived me for losing 5 lbs and my blood sugar has actually been in the normal range so I'm not going to stop until I'm so thin that nobody will ever believe that I have T2.
Sorry, I just really needed to rant about this.
[Tip] Iām in love
/u/RedPlaidPanda
Created: Thu Aug 2 17:40:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944hwe/im_in_love/
---
https://i.redd.it/vmegmp2hnrd11.jpg
[Discussion] hospitalization
/u/ellissaa
Created: Thu Aug 2 17:37:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944h82/hospitalization/
---
iām getting hospitalized for very low heart rate. they say they wanna keep me here for a few days and put me on a meal plan till it goes back up. iām really nervous guys what should i expect??
Breaking fasts with alcohol š
/u/mars-rover216
Created: Thu Aug 2 17:27:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944eat/breaking_fasts_with_alcohol/
---
I especially love how quickly I get drunk šššš
[Other] The Anorexic and the 10 lb Shite
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 105 | 19.2 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 17:18:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944c4z/the_anorexic_and_the_10_lb_shite/
---
Thatās it. Thatās all.
I had a 4,200 kcal day involving a small jar of nutella, bread, three doughnuts... Weight went up to 121.
Took a shite.
Went to 111. And there is still food in me. And water.
What a day.
[Help] Canāt breathe through my nose pls help
/u/littlegoldsmith
Created: Thu Aug 2 17:17:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944bsw/cant_breathe_through_my_nose_pls_help/
---
Iāve just been b/p-ing as I have been for about 12 months and ended up with my nose blocked with vomit and itās burning and I canāt breathe through my nose is this normal what do I do please help me I have been blowing it for ten minutes thank you x
[Other] yes i know i have a problem lol
/u/AgreeableReplacement [22Fš5'8š~100lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 2 17:14:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944azb/yes_i_know_i_have_a_problem_lol/
---
\*me, trying to look inconspicuous on my average caffeine haul, 3 rockstar zeros and a variety of flavoured diet cokes overflowing in arms\*
cashier: wowee thats a lot of caffeine!!! i hope thats not all for you???
me: \*proceeds to pay for canned goods while thinking about what order i will consume them all in within the next few hours, and which i should use to chase ephedrine tablets\* no way are you kidding, that would be terrible for my heart :))))
[Help] Recovery through eating fruit?
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Thu Aug 2 17:12:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944agv/recovery_through_eating_fruit/
---
Iām trying to recover (aka gain 5 pounds) but donāt want to eat junk food. Think I can gain weight but eating in a calorie surplus through just fruit?
[Help] How can I purge my body of food without vomiting?
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Thu Aug 2 17:11:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/944a6i/how_can_i_purge_my_body_of_food_without_vomiting/
---
I feel disgusting and terrible at all Iāve eaten today. How can I get all of the food out of me. It feels gross. I could drink some coffee.
[Discussion] DAE just feel uncomfortable?
/u/bmalaur [5'4" | 24F | HW: 127 | CW: 103 | LW: 85]
Created: Thu Aug 2 17:06:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9448rl/dae_just_feel_uncomfortable/
---
I don't know if anyone else struggles with restriction that is somewhat unrelated to their weight.
I don't weigh myself but how I eat is based on how I subjectively feel on a given day. Some days I think I look fine, some days too thin, some days I just overall feel what I would call "discomfort". I feel sorta bloated(?) but also something just internally feels off in my body and I have zero appetite and a lot of repetitive negative thoughts about how I look.
I really struggle with eating through this as the sensation is so overwhelming. I've tried to explain this to my therapist. I realize it's not real per se but I feel so uncomfortable that it's impossible to not restrict. I don't even know what emotion or fear I would attach to this because it feels so vague ??
[Help] DO NOT WANT TO BINGE TOMORROW
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Thu Aug 2 17:04:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94486g/do_not_want_to_binge_tomorrow/
---
For the past few months Iāve been binging once a week usually on Friday nights. I want to end this binge right in its place. This week Iāve been eating more calories (1200~1600) but can still feel the binge demon coming my way. I am in desperate need of words of wisdom or encouragement not to binge
[Rant/Rave] Why canāt I ever binge in PEACE :))????
/u/depressed_goose
Created: Thu Aug 2 16:59:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9446l8/why_cant_i_ever_binge_in_peace/
---
Either another car rolls up, or something.
Sigh.
Also paranoid someoneās recording me.
[Other] Drawing skeletons because I feel like we connect on a spiritual level ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 2 16:40:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9441bo/drawing_skeletons_because_i_feel_like_we_connect/
---
https://i.redd.it/9bbi5orwcrd11.jpg
[Other] itās never going to be enough.
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 2 16:38:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9440m6/its_never_going_to_be_enough/
---
https://i.redd.it/9isu5gxfcrd11.jpg
[Discussion] DAE fantasize about being one of those petite mukbang youtubers?
/u/angelic-rose [š¹ 5ā6 | 130 | 21.59 | 19F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 16:37:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9440h1/dae_fantasize_about_being_one_of_those_petite/
---
[Other] Tfw you realize that youāre actually dead
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 2 16:35:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/943zrp/tfw_you_realize_that_youre_actually_dead/
---
https://i.redd.it/wj81w80xbrd11.jpg
I'm huge
/u/Sharkiiie [5'9"| CW: 160lbs | 23.20 | WL: 31lbs| F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 16:15:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/943tz6/im_huge/
---
I've been pretty good for a couple months now. I've been eating maintenance, I deleted peach, I stopped using my ED twitter, things were ok.
I went to a work event on the weekend. I wore a black dress, and heels. I love wearing heels, I just feel sexier and skinnier, it's never stopped me eventhough I'm already 5'9". My co-workers all wanted to take pictures and I suddenly realized how tall I am compared to everyone else. I got out of as many pictures as I could, but of course, there are now pictures of me next to my tiny coworkers on Facebook. There's so many comment about me being tall, huge, a giant, someone called me enormous. I feel like a gorilla next to my 5'2" coworkers. I know they are talking about my height, but I feel like if I was smaller, they wouldn't say those things, or I'd be less noticeable.
Needless to say, hey r/proED, I'm back
[Discussion] Can't even purge right
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Thu Aug 2 16:00:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/943pdu/cant_even_purge_right/
---
19, 5ft1 ish hw 158lbs cw 138lbs
(a week of attempting to get that number down tho soooo heres to hoping this weekend i can use a scale.)
Super super busy / stressful day at work
Inspection day and early in the month so a lot more customers.
I hadn't eaten since yesterday but I did have a Gatorade that was 50cal
Then some diet crancherry idk probably 20cal
And some lite lemonade from work so probably another 10 or 20 (I mix it with water too)
Well I get home and crack right into some peanut butter crackers 180cal
Then my glorious smart popcorn calls my name 650 cal... I'm disgusting. It's 650 for the whole bag and I think I ate all but maybe 100 or 50 so idk I just say i ate all 650
Well u
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave]I'm so sick of people not seeing over-eating as an ED
/u/Barfbagbreakup
Created: Thu Aug 2 15:33:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/943he5/rantraveim_so_sick_of_people_not_seeing/
---
I'm 5'4" and 195 ibs (down from 205 woo!). My BMI is 33.5. I am obese. Sadly, to most people I barely seem overweight due to the skewed idea American (where I live) society has on what is "normal/healthy". My cholesterol is shit. I injured my knee when I was younger so it hurts more than it should due to my weight. My diet can kill me. Maybe not as quickly as starvation, but it's still screwing my body up.
But no one cared. People could watch me eat three times as much as I should and no one said anything about my mental health because EDs are only for thinner people apparently. It wasn't until I actually made myself purge a few times that I managed to clue in doctors. I don't even purge religiously or to lose weight. It's to alleviate the physical pain and discomfort from eating too damn much. So when I stopped, everything was fine and dandy. Except I still couldn't stop eating in massive amounts. But no one thought that should be addressed. Apparently I only had an eating disorder while I was purging.
And now it's a stigma to point out to people eating way too much is unhealthy and could be a sign of an eating disorder because they're not thin. I'm all for body positivity and being happy with yourself. I truly am. But at the same time, these people wanting fat acceptance have made it harder for me to be seen as having an eating disorder. Yes, treat people as people. Love them and care for them. But stop pretending it's healthy. They're making it harder for me to get help or have people understand.
"Just exercise." "Just eat less."
No. I literally can't control it. I love eating. Eating is my favorite thing in the world. If I didn't have a limited capacity to to what my stomach can hold, I would actually eat constantly (If feeling full was still a thing). I've shoved cake into my mouth with my bare hands even though I've had three full meals. Even though I've felt full, I didn't want to stop.
Everything is designed for me to be fat. When I go out to eat to some places, it ends up being cheaper to order extra food I don't want as a combo than only get what I want. Then I feel guilty about us spending the extra money to get less. If you put that side order in front of me, I will eat it. Stop. I shake and tremble when I fight to urge to drive and buy food. Even though I physically feel full, my body tells me I reaaally need that gallon of ice cream. I need that combo order from Sonic. I need to order an extra pizza.
I want it to be normal to confront people about being actually overweight and obese. I want it to be with the same care and concern other than "you're fat. stop.". All people like me get is shame and coldness. I've gotten more sympathy out of my occasional purging than my life long and near daily binge eating. As long as food is going in and staying, no one cares.
I'm the person other EDs see when they look in the mirror. But no one wants to help me too.
[Other] I follow so many porn accounts of this account...
/u/ShannonAnon
Created: Thu Aug 2 15:32:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/943h3x/i_follow_so_many_porn_accounts_of_this_account/
---
Itās honestly gross lol I hate seeing that much sex when Iām trying to just casually scroll, but the girls are always so fit and gorgeous; itās the best thinspiration.
Half the shit people post is gross or looks painful but the girls always have perfect figures. (āTeenā porn? Petite porn? Omfg theyāre all easily under 100lbs and adorable. They also always get picked up and thrown around and thatās my sex-thinspo goals hahah)
Oh well, just gotta keep hiding my phone in public for the sake of that sweet, sweet thinspo.
This week, I am not happy with myself.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Thu Aug 2 15:30:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/943g8h/this_week_i_am_not_happy_with_myself/
---
July was a bad month for dieting. It was one event after another. The Fourth of July and birthdays and family things. I tried to C/S, restrict, and exercise enough to keep from gaining weight...but yeah, I was up like 6 lbs. when I weighed myself in last Saturday.
That was bad enough, but my weight fluctuates a lot throughout the week, so whatever. I can deal with that. August is a new month.
Weighed in this morning two pounds heavier than I did the other day. Exercise purged even though I was trying to avoid it because I hate the number on the scale and want it to drop by like ten pounds NOW and that's impossible but since when have EDs been subject to reason?
I just want to fast for a month.
[Help] Shaking from b/p?
/u/drowing_dancer
Created: Thu Aug 2 15:25:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/943etg/shaking_from_bp/
---
Is this a thing? Lately when Iāve had my episodes, I end up shaking at the end of them and waking up shaking. Wtf is happening guys?? This didnāt happen to me when I was restricting...what can I do to help this other than the obvious?
Habitica Party/Guild?
/u/catpotatotots [5'4|CW: 161 |GW: 100|F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 15:15:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/943c5l/habitica_partyguild/
---
Hey everyone! Yesterday u/kpatable mentioned the app Habitica and I noticed a lot of people played it and were interested in making a guild to hold ourselves accountable! I just started playing after I saw kpatable's post and I love it. Would you all be interested in making parties/guilds together? If so, I will make one for us! Unless someone else already has made one, then I would love to join :)
What 12 days of starving myself looks like
/u/ThermalAnvil [5ā4ā | SW: 232 | CW: 224]
Created: Thu Aug 2 14:48:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9433er/what_12_days_of_starving_myself_looks_like/
---
https://i.redd.it/5z85e63nsqd11.png
Can't get over my friend's comment
/u/nope707
Created: Thu Aug 2 14:26:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/942wm3/cant_get_over_my_friends_comment/
---
My friend said to me that it must have been *very easy* for me to lose 17 pounds since I was at a higher weight. She sees 140 pounds as obese I guess?? And she told me that the main reason she said that was apparently because I lost the weight in such a short time. Bitch it wasn't easy I just ate 400-600 cals a day :))) No reason to shit on other's progress just because you're mad about not being able to lose 5 pounds :/
This happened 3 days ago but I still feel sad about her comment tbh
[Help] How would I bring up the issue of having an ED to my doctor?
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Thu Aug 2 14:26:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/942wlm/how_would_i_bring_up_the_issue_of_having_an_ed_to/
---
Iāve been feeling terrible as of late, and Iām worried my symptoms will only get worse unless I just bite the bullet and make an appointment with my family doctor soon. Iām just worried about how Iād be able to bring it up to them. How should I? Iām quite well spoken when it comes to any topic under the sun, but when talking about my ED thereās just something that comes over me. I feel reluctant, ashamed, and even disturbed. Having to vocalize my issues feels strange and I honestly donāt even know if I can muster up the power to do so, if at all.
So please yāall, can you give me tips/advice on how to get over the fear of vocalizing my issues? And to let go of the stigma I feel over having these issues?
[Discussion] DAE have one thing they never stop craving?
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 110 |HW: 134|UGW: 105|F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 14:16:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/942tb8/dae_have_one_thing_they_never_stop_craving/
---
i don't think i've stopped thinking about this fucking pepper steak from my local chinese takeout place for weeks??? i want to stuff myself with it until i can't move. it's not even my favorite food and honestly if i ordered it idk if i could even bring myself to eat it but thinking about the smell and taste is literally keeping me up at night. i'm in the middle of a fast rn and i can't focus on anything because this pepper steak is haunting my dreams
When youāre a nurse and you have two patients complaining about not being allowed to eat since midnight the night before...
/u/augenzeugen
Created: Thu Aug 2 14:07:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/942ql6/when_youre_a_nurse_and_you_have_two_patients/
---
And you have to hold your tongue but really itās like bro calm tf down you canāt be that hungry Iāve got you beat by like 8 hours
[Help] How do you guys count calories for portions?
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" |CW 50.5kg |BMI 17.89 | GW:48kg| Female]
Created: Thu Aug 2 13:53:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/942m1o/how_do_you_guys_count_calories_for_portions/
---
Sorry if the title makes no sense. Basically I'm wondering how I would go about calculating calories for portions of something homemade.
For example, I made a homemade vegan "Nutella", and I'm struggling to calculate the cals. I measured each ingredient and added them all up, but the recipe makes two jars, obviously that's not one portion.
So! How would I create my own calculated portions basically? Sorry for the wall of text.
Relapse resurrecting negative memories
/u/lovethismadness
Created: Thu Aug 2 13:42:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/942imp/relapse_resurrecting_negative_memories/
---
The first time I was considered to be anorexic I was 11 years old. Neither of my parents realized I had a problem until I was underweight and it was my father--who worked out of town during the week--who pointed it out. And before all this, there was the Bad Shit that happened, which even after finding out, my mother deflected (she was the person I told--I don't think my father knows). When I was in college, I had a relapse--my father somewhat noticed and my mother didn't. There's a lot more ugly things in my past relationship with my mother, but that's what's relevant to this sub.
My relationship with my mother has improved over time, but as I'm falling back into old habits, I've found that there's still a lot of resentment. Part of it is the fact that I can blatantly do these old habits in front of her and she's not the slightest bit concerned. I know the obvious answer is to talk to her about it, but I'm pretty certain that ends with her either holding what I say against me or me worrying about her self-destructiveness. She's always talked about how her life dream was to be a mother; she just wasn't good at it.
I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has dealt with a similar situation and has figured out a way to deal with it.
[Discussion] Do you ever just see someone in public and just instantly feel like they have an ED too?
/u/lightningmcqueef69 [5'7" | CW 129.8 | GW 100 | NB | 18 | š: lightningmcqueef69]
Created: Thu Aug 2 13:30:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/942epi/do_you_ever_just_see_someone_in_public_and_just/
---
I went to Wal-Mart to get a couple of makeup things I had run out of, and at the self checkout I watched a very thin person in a hoodie and leggings (it's 100Ā° here in TX) buy a 12 pack of cherry coke zero, two jars of pickles, a pack of light & fit yogurt, and a pack of sugar free jello. and in my head i was just like "same friend same"
I donāt know where I fit / 5ā6 CW:147, GW: 125
/u/EDthrowaway8888
Created: Thu Aug 2 13:11:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9428u3/i_dont_know_where_i_fit_56_cw147_gw_125/
---
I was always thick in high school. I did three sports a year but didnāt know anything about healthy eating. I was always self conscious, especially when friends or teammates would tell me things like, āyou have the biggest calves Iāve ever seen,ā or when Iād be the girl who had to have the largest dance costume or cheer uniform ordered. Looking back, I was probably only 155lbs which isnāt massive, but when most of your friends have barely hit puberty and are still tiny, it felt massive. My junior year, I moved back to Minnesota to live with my mom and got extremely depressed. I had no friends, felt like an oddball, and had a guy I liked who didnāt even notice me. To make matters worse, I had a āfriendā who knew I liked him and decided she would flirt with him and get him to ask her to one of the school dances. Trust me, Iām over that. It was nearly 15 years ago. But what it sparked in me was this idea that if I couldnāt change my face or my skin color, maybe I could change my size. That maybe if I could just be a little slimmer I would be more popular or finally get someone to notice me. Around 2004 I found Project Shapeshift (kudos to anyone who knows what that is) and it was like a drug. A community of people all seeking to take up as little space as possible. I went from not knowing what a calorie was to obsessively tracking and weighing daily. It paid off at first but after months of restricting, I quickly fell into the trap of binge eating. That quickly led to purging. That cycle lasted for years, through college. I would restrict for months, followed by periods of insatiable binging and purging. I disgusted myself. I had a private room, but shared bathrooms, so I would triple line my garbage bin, purge, and throw it down the trash shoot. After college I tried to get healthy on my own. I ate a little more during my restricting phases and cut down on binging and purging, going from purging three times a day or more to maybe once a day, once a week, and then I quit completely. Itās been years, or I should say it had been years since Iād restricted or purged, but my 30th birthday is coming up and for the last 8 months Iāve been trying to lose weight. Nothing was working. I exercised, I ate 1,300 calories max, and the scale just wasnāt moving. Then I decided to book a trip to Thailand. The thought of turning 30 in a tropical place should sound thrilling but after I booked I started to feel all the same feelings of anxiety and all the same desires to restrict as I used to feel. Iām 147lbs right now at 5ā6 and I just feel so fat. Iāve purged 4-5 times in the last ninth and Iām so disappointed because I really donāt want to go down that path again. But eating somewhat healthy doesnāt work either, so Iām eating between 800-1000 calories and finally the scale is moving. I canāt say Iām still proED like I used to be, but Iām not anti ED either. Is there a āI is t want to have a moderate EDā level?
Sorry for the novel, but thatās my journey and Iām just trying to figure out how to find balance.
āCenter Stageā Although I donāt personally struggle with bulimia, but am recovering from orthorexia, I watched a movie last week called Center Stage this is what it inspired. They unknowingly applaud the ballerina for the heights of success her illness will bring her to.
/u/makingamodel [5'8 | CW: 131.8| HW: 198 | UGW: 124 | 20 F -67.2]
Created: Thu Aug 2 13:00:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94253e/center_stage_although_i_dont_personally_struggle/
---
https://i.redd.it/xg3f60kj9qd11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Hit a LW without trying??
/u/lightningmcqueef69 [5'7" | CW 129.8 | GW 100 | NB | 18 | š: lightningmcqueef69]
Created: Thu Aug 2 12:56:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9423s5/hit_a_lw_without_trying/
---
Heyo, the title kinda says it all. I forced myself to weigh in for the first time in a month because I'm about to leave for a trip and want to figure out what my intake is going to look like-
and i weigh fucking 126lbs???? it's still really high but it's the lowest i've been since probably 5th grade
I haven't really been restricting-- I've been binging quite often actually-- and I weighed in the middle of the night, with clothes on, after eating a pint of ice cream (and my period just ended so i'm still bloated)
I legit checked at least 10 times and it always said 126.0
Has the scale surprised any of y'all like this before?
Does anybody have problems with substance addiction for coping + restricting/bingeing?
/u/BlueAspic
Created: Thu Aug 2 12:54:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9423bv/does_anybody_have_problems_with_substance/
---
I feel like my entire life I've been in the cycle of depression and then manic depression and it's all fueled by drugs and my low self esteem. The last 3 or 4 years I've been using weed every day with some cocaine thrown in there (when I successfully got to my lowest weight of 118 at 5'8) and binge drinking. Right now I've gained a lot from smoking weed and binging and now I'm using high dose EC stacks to try to prevent binging while I'm stoned lol. I also abuse benadryl for sleep and always find myself craving stimulants throughout the day. I feel like my drug use dictates my fringe eating too. Amphetamine use? I barely eat and lose weight and feel good about it. Then I get depressed and start eating a bunch and gain and rinse repeat. It's a vicious cycle. Anyways thanks for letting me ramble here.
Restrictors who have consistently taken vitamin supplements - do you feel they've helped you keep your hair?
/u/0seagirl [5'5 | 125 lbs | bmi 20.8 | 32 lbs lost | f]
Created: Thu Aug 2 12:50:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/942229/restrictors_who_have_consistently_taken_vitamin/
---
I've struggled with hair loss over lots of years (like a decade+) of malnourishment and been *mega* slack on the vitamin supplements side of things, so now I'm seriously considering starting to take them. I'm 31 now and my hair is growing so fucking slow. Any suggestions? input? etc... all welcome. x
scared of going home honestly :')
/u/vanilla_soy_latte [5'2" | CW: 110 (?) | GW: 95 |]
Created: Thu Aug 2 12:42:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/941zeo/scared_of_going_home_honestly/
---
first of all, it's so hard to restrict in front of my parents bc they expect me to eat lunch. i dont even know the calories in the food they cook :( i always have to guesstimate it
secondly, there's waaaayyy too much good snacks in the house so it's hard to ignore the hunger pangs!! my apartment was nice in that there's nothing there too awful for me to binge on (except for peanut butter)
lastly, if i do binge, i hate having them know im binging. my mom has already commented on my weight gain. YIKES like girl i know i gained but don't remind me of how awful i like rn :( I wanna be back to 100 lbs again too o k
cheers, sorry for the long post and rant i just needed it out of my system
The only real reason I watch mukbangz is to feed into my eating issues. They eat for me while Watch.
/u/heybigburger
Created: Thu Aug 2 12:36:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/941xc9/the_only_real_reason_i_watch_mukbangz_is_to_feed/
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[Rant/Rave] Purging
/u/SuicideCupcakes
Created: Thu Aug 2 12:29:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/941vd4/purging/
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So I just went to a funeral and found myself binging at least 1000-1500 calories is waaaay above my limit, so what's purging like and how do you do it? When I tried 2 or so months ago it didn't work. Or should I not purge since it was for a funeral? I honestly have no clue what to do
[Discussion] āPerformance Artā
/u/makingamodel [5'8 | CW: 131.8| HW: 198 | UGW: 124 | 20 F -67.2]
Created: Thu Aug 2 12:17:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/941ref/performance_art/
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https://i.redd.it/h4teoxmt1qd11.jpg
I feel like a Fucking failure.
/u/d_hatesthis
Created: Thu Aug 2 12:02:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/941mxo/i_feel_like_a_fucking_failure/
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I've been trying to get out of the 180s now for a few a while. At the beginning of summer I got six flag passes that allow you to bring in friends for half off. My friends wanted to go so we went yesterday. It was supposed to be fun but I was stressed out the whole trip.
I knew the calorie portions would be insane so to prepare that morning I walked 8 miles and exercised at home for an hour. I didn't eat anything the whole day and planned for one order of fries while there.
The worst part of the trip was that I get a 50% on everything in the park but sometimes the employees get upset if you're just using it for your friends so I had to wait in all the lines while I ordered their food for them. They're both so skinny and I could just tell what everyone around us was thinking, "Look at that fat ass making her friends miss rides because she needs to order 2 meals for herself.". On one of the rides the seatbelt just barely fit me and I felt like a tub of lard. I kept trying to force it smaller before the attendant came but it didn't work.
But despite feeling like crap all day I stuck to my original plan of 1 basket of fries. When we were driving home my friends got suspicious about my not eating so I took a bite of her fudge. Now its morning and I weighed myself and of course I gained 1.8 pounds. I feel so stupid and ugly. I never should have gone.
[Rant/Rave] my mom sends me mixed signals
/u/annoyingdoggy [154cm | 48kg | F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 11:59:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/941ltu/my_mom_sends_me_mixed_signals/
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for once in a while, i let myself have candy just because it happened to be the type i enjoy a lot. mom comments on it, says iām eating A LOT ( i was eating a bit, but not a bingeable amount nor a lot). i put down the bag, half in shame, half angry.
a while later my mom asks me if i want to eat something so i, half jokingly say that iām not gonna eat candy since she lowkey shamed me earlier. she says ābut u/annoyingdoggy youāre always ~healthy~ and you arenāt gonna keep that body if you overindulgeā.
Any other day she would tell you iām starving myself and that iām just like my sister (recovered since ā08) but ok!
I shoot back that since i eat ~ sooo healthily~ i figured i could treat myself. she starts going off about how iām gonna eat all of our communal snacks and that sheās gonna have to cut up my stomach to get all the snacks out (please do) and that now iām gonna punish myself and not eat anything. Guess what mom? Youāre exactly right.
Comments on weight
/u/sorrywhatshappening
Created: Thu Aug 2 11:49:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/941ict/comments_on_weight/
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I work at a restaurant. A lot of my customers are "regulars" in the sense that they don't come in to eat everyday but come at least every week or two. Because they aren't there to notice gradual weight loss they notice the dramatic changes in my body. I hate when people comment on how "much healthier" I look or how "skinny/thin" I'm getting. I never know how to respond. I don't feel like saying thank you is necessarily appropriate, because it doesn't feel like much of a true compliment to me for some reason...? It's like a backhanded compliment that references how terribly I looked before. The last few times it's happened I get really flustered and just start laughing in an awkward way lol. It's even worse when people ask what "diet" I'm on. This happened last night and when I did my awkward laugh thing they just sat there waiting for an actual response. I just said I was watching what I was eating. How do you respond to these types of things?
[Help] how long does it take for milk of magnesia to kick in?
/u/pistachiocreams [63"| 105.5 | -18 | F :pupper:]
Created: Thu Aug 2 11:47:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/941hvp/how_long_does_it_take_for_milk_of_magnesia_to/
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if you saw my post yesterday, you know i havent had a BM in like a week.
yesterday i had two magnesium citrate pills (store doesnt have the liquid stuff), spinach w/ hot sauce, rice, beans, and 1/2 a pint of halo top and i only succeeding in giving myself (TMI sorry) liquid shits but it definitely didnt help, because the scale didnt move this morning :/ iām still up 2.5 ish lbs. i gained it fasting too which doesnt even make sense???
today iāve had 3 L+ of water and just took milk of magnesia (4 tbsp. worth) 2 hours ago and nothing.
how long does it take???
sorry but iām so desperate to get shit out of my system, iām leaving on vacation tomorrow and wonāt be able to weigh myself for two weeks. if i have to leave at 104.5 lbs iāll cry lol help?????
Deadass just purged iceberg lettuce and siracha.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 52.5 | 17.54/17.34 | (U)GW: 52.3 (50) | 26F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 11:40:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/941fe2/deadass_just_purged_iceberg_lettuce_and_siracha/
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Rip me š
[Help] sick with laxatives
/u/pinpeach
Created: Thu Aug 2 11:35:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/941dwh/sick_with_laxatives/
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okay so i have been using laxatives for the past few months maybe twice a week but i started to notice that they were starting to be less effective so i stopped for a few weeks. last night i decided to take some and i woke up in a cold sweat with the worst stomach pain iāve ever had and i felt so sick and nauseous like i had food poisoning or the flu. This has never happened to me before when using them and after i went to the bathroom
and fell back asleep and woke up again they are still working but it is like normal now. does anyone know what could have caused this or how i could avoid this happening when using them in the future?
[Rant/Rave] Oh my god
/u/blazeroftrails
Created: Thu Aug 2 11:33:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/941d6s/oh_my_god/
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So today at work somebody brought legit like 4 dozen donuts for the staff (6 of us lol)
I ate like 3 because I have zero self control and was sitting there basking in self hatred afterward when my gorgeous, 5ā7 110 lb coworker walks in, BREAKS A DONUT HOLE IN HALF, and eats it
who even eats half a donut hole what the fuck Iām so triggered
Misery post, please ignore
/u/DonDrapersAlcoholism [5'6'' | 105 | F | goal: <100]
Created: Thu Aug 2 10:38:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/940v68/misery_post_please_ignore/
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I've been away from home for 5 weeks. I haven't been able to weigh myself or my food for as long. I'm in a country where everything is fried and I can't avoid eating without suspicion. I'm with people I can't talk to about it. I want to curl up in a ball and shrink until I'm small enough to stop existing. I miss home.
Sorry for sadposting lol
I should have thrown up :'(
/u/WWEisVegan
Created: Thu Aug 2 10:35:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/940u73/i_should_have_thrown_up/
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I usually purge with laxatives. I've never made myself throw up before (successfully; I've attempted it.) Yesterday I went to a bar for trivia night with my family and they goaded me into eating fried mushrooms (815cal, according to the nutritional info on their website, but I didn't eat all of them, so I'm calling it 800), and while they were admittedly delicious, I felt guilty the whole time cause I really wanted to start the month off with a fast. They were also a lot greasing and heavier than what I have been eating, and I ended up feeling terribly nauseous later that night. I was thinking about taking laxatives but I really haven't eaten enough mass-wise for them to do much except making me feel worse, so I didn't. But I could have thrown up. I was on the verge of throwing up. If I had just knelt in front of a toilet and opened my mouth it probably would have all come up. I didn't even care so much that I felt sick and throwing up would make me feel better; I wanted to do it to relieve the shame from having eaten on a fast day.
And instead I choked it back and went to bed.
I feel like I should be happy. I technically still ate at my usual allowance. I wanted to purge with laxatives but I rationalized through it and didn't. I wanted to throw up and I didn't. I did everything I've been telling myself I was going to start doing. But I don't feel good. I feel crushed. I stepped on the scale and it was half a pound heavier. I know it's water weight but I don't care. If I had let myself thrown up it probably wouldn't be there. If I had just not eaten it definitely would be there. But I made a mistake, and I was given a chance to atone for it, and I didn't take it.
I'm definitely fasting today, and at least I have the excuse of "I still feel kind of sick from last night" if someone tries to get me to eat, but tomorrow I leave for a weekend vacation full of more fatty bar food and no scale and I just really really wanted to have two days of fasting as a cushion before that and I just, I should have thrown up. I should have thrown up. I should have thrown up.
Wowweeeee I love getting sugar filled soda instead of what I expected
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 258 | Goal: 250 | 40.9 | 30 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 10:27:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/940rp7/wowweeeee_i_love_getting_sugar_filled_soda/
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So I let myself have a fountain drink today because they had G2 on tap. I haven't had a fountain drink in months and I figured fruit punch G2 would be the safest thing and satisfy the craving.
Well. I walk back to work, and start drinking it, and it's fucking Code Red. How fucking even? I mean really?
Fuck it, I'm drinking it. Might as well binge. š š š šš
how much do you eat when you are restricting (calories) ?
/u/FinbarOmen
Created: Thu Aug 2 10:19:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/940p5h/how_much_do_you_eat_when_you_are_restricting/
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i started restricting my calorie intake on monday and also added a little workout to my daily routine, since i desperately want to lose weight before university starts because i feel like i will have it easiert to find new friends then (i know that seems crazy but please keep your opinion on this thought for yourself).
my calories this week so far:
M: 186
Tu: 216
W: 308
Th: 270
and i am just curious to how much you guys eat on an average. and if you have tips to calm the nagging hunger feeling a little down please tell me.
binged but i feel numb.
/u/biblicalirony [5'3 | cw: 174 | hw: 234 | lw: 170 | gw: 115 | 15f]
Created: Thu Aug 2 10:17:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/940ocr/binged_but_i_feel_numb/
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i mean physically of course i feel like shit but mentally i'm kind of just like, "ok but dont tell me you werent expecting it to happen lol". trying to plan my calorie restriction again but at this point, im just.. really tired you guys. i'm a point in my ed where i've kind of just normalized thoughts about how much i hate myself and my eating habits so inner monologues about how fat i know i am and how much self-control i lack aren't as emotionally exhausting. i've just gotten so used to it all that i'm kind of just on auto-pilot now, almost. restrict in what almost always results in a binge and rinse and repeat.
Am I normal now?
/u/cortizonegnome [5'3" | 112 | 19.8 | GW 94 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 10:08:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/940lmp/am_i_normal_now/
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I've been restricting more than usual for the past few days (ex. drinking like a venti iced coffee a day instead of a meal) but I don't feel stressed out about food? It's finals for me now which has me stressed tbh and my social life isn't the best rn but not eating much makes me feel a lot more clear headed? I'm not actively restricting but like positively(?) doing so?? I know fasting for mental well being is like a thing. Is..this it? Bc I'm not (currently at least) trying to lose weight bc I just don't have the time like the lack of appetite is just sort of accidental. I genuinely feel like I've been in a good headspace as far as food for the past few days even though I'm not eating very much. Does this mean I'm being healthy? Idk I'm just confused b/c I'm used to restricting being sort of hard but it feels unnatural recently to eat more. And I'm like actually quite happy and unbothered with my intake (like I'm not actively thinking about what I want to eat, etc.) With OMAD, IF, fasting, etc. I'm finding it hard to tell what counts as disordered eating and what doesn't. I think this week is a good week ..,right? Very confused
I feel like I'm doung something wrong.
/u/thr33-am
Created: Thu Aug 2 09:50:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/940fx0/i_feel_like_im_doung_something_wrong/
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I haven't really eaten since Friday. Yesterday I had a 150 cal snack because I needed to eat smth in front of my mom, but that's been it for the past (almost) week.
And I'm not feeling anything.
No hunger pains, no stomach protests, no light headedness.
I've been staying hydrated so maybe that's it. But usually I get bodily protests for the first few days and that's what let's me know it's working. Without these signs I've convinced myself I'm eating in my sleep or doing it without remembering and it's making me feel like hell.
What the fuuuuuuck.
[Discussion] Appetite control and binging. How to stay low calorie and motivated?
/u/RedPlaidPanda
Created: Thu Aug 2 09:46:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/940eia/appetite_control_and_binging_how_to_stay_low/
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I have just recently started restricting again after a long period of weight gain and out of control binge eating. If anyone would like to post what foods they eat normally to stay super low calorie or anything that helps them keep from binging that would be absolutely wonderful ā¤ļø
Iām also struggling with a huge appetite, I wana eat all the time and itās making life harder than it should be. What do you do to get your mind off food?
[Rant/Rave] TIRED OF STARBUCKS BEING OUT OF SHIT THAT I ORDERED AND HOLDING IN A MINI MELTDOWN WHEN THEY ASK ME WHAT I WANT INSTEAD
/u/seedlesssunflower
Created: Thu Aug 2 09:42:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/940ddb/tired_of_starbucks_being_out_of_shit_that_i/
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I wanted what I ordered.
What I mentally prepared to eat.
Apologies to any baristas out there, basic bitch ācan I speak to the managerā rant over
Dental anxiety
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Thu Aug 2 09:29:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/94097o/dental_anxiety/
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So, I know my teeth are absolutely wrecked. I've known for a while. I want to get them looked at and taken care of, but adding to the stress of teeth fuck up through ED behaviors is the fact that I've always had horrifically bad dental anxiety. Any advice on making this easier?? Has anyone tried sedation dentistry?
not getting a bday gift because I wasted our money on food
/u/lemonlop [5'4" | 110 | 18.9 | -26 | 23F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 09:24:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9407ry/not_getting_a_bday_gift_because_i_wasted_our/
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Yesterday was my birthday, so I decided to stop worrying and enjoy food for once. It was a special day, so fuck it! My husband and I got lunch at a restaurant I've been wanting to try for ages and I even got dessert (with lunch!! who is she). We went to a cafe later and shared another dessert, and then we got takeout for dinner and I had 3-4 beers after. It must've been like 3000 cals but I didn't care. I felt like my old self.
I knew my husband's present was coming late so I didn't mind not getting anything. But then this morning he told me that all of that food added up to over $125, so he couldn't afford a gift anymore and he hoped the day was enough of a gift. Money has been a little tight so I don't blame him, but I now feel like such a gluttonous idiot.
We used to be foodies and eat out all the time, so my husband saw me acting normally around food and thought this would be a great experience for me. It was really sweet of him to pick up all the bills and really treat me well. But now I feel even worse. I have actual proof eating is a goddamn waste. A day later what did it really get me?? Some gas and leftovers in the fridge that I won't be touching. Wow $125 well spent.
Someone called me thin today
/u/Raynx [5'5 | 123lbs | 20.7 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 2 09:14:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9404ov/someone_called_me_thin_today/
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I can't believe it. For context it was at a clothing store, commenting on how well a shirt fit me. I immediately thought she did so because she just wanted to sell me the current item, but it doesn't make sense because she could've just said "this one is a little small, let's try the next size" instead. It would be counterproductive if I started wearing it and someone asked "where did you buy that trash?"
I have objective proof I'm not thin. I could take a picture of the fat rolls around my stomach, and the gigantic circumference of my thighs. I'd say someone starts being thin at maybe a BMI of 18-19 or so, and I'm nowhere close to that. I don't know what to think because I need to lose at least 6kg to be even remotely good looking, and I don't even know if that'd be enough.
Is the rest of the world so fat and obese that being at a more normal weight considered "thin" nowadays? That's the only explanation I can think of.
[Help] Favorite Wedding Themed Excuses
/u/HaveASchpadoinkleDay
Created: Thu Aug 2 08:41:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93zufi/favorite_wedding_themed_excuses/
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Iām a bridesmaids in a wedding next weekend. Itās out of town. Iām going to be staying with the brideās family the first half of the week, then with my parents in a hotel the second half while we are sightseeing. I do so well when Iām on my own, but fold like a house of cards when anyone even ASKS me about eating.
What are youāre best/favorite wedding (or traveling, I guess) themed excuses to restrict?
Snapchat group!
/u/kskobg
Created: Thu Aug 2 08:23:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93zozy/snapchat_group/
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Hey guys! :) So I've posted here twice before so sorry if you're already in a group/not interested but I wanted to extend the invite again since the first two snapchat groups we have made have been so successful! So I've made two snapchat groups (since we couldn't fit everyone in just one) of people from this sub just for people to chat and get support and share things about our lives that we can't really share with our loved ones. They have been really great and very positive so if people are interested in being added to a proED snapchat group, please private message me your username and I will add you! Thanks everyone :)
[Rant/Rave] I Binged Last Night. Not Eating Today.
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Thu Aug 2 08:10:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93zl62/i_binged_last_night_not_eating_today/
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I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, but I can't seem to go even three days without bingeing. I feel so fucking disgusting I don't even know how much I ate last night. Well, I'm not eating today. Coffee, water, and diet coke is all that's allowed.
Currently sitting here crying feeling alone as always.
Back to Restriction Again! (TW Sexual Assault)
/u/maerynbird
Created: Thu Aug 2 07:48:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93zf3z/back_to_restriction_again_tw_sexual_assault/
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Before the assault happened i would purge out of practicality while restricting. My SW and my HW were 170 when i was (late) 15 so i started restriction when i was 16.
I was 17 when I started to purge and it was just when my family went out to eat and i had to eat a lot. At the time i couldnāt work out much so i just purged. It wasnāt a compulsion at all. I just did it because it was practical to do so to reach my goals.
On the day i hit my LW, 127 lbs, i was drugged and brutally raped by my male best friend. One of the many things that ran through my head was that he probably couldnāt resist me because he saw me get smaller and smaller like his ex gf and my former best friend who was anorexic (her LW was 86 lbs and she was 5ā4).
After that happened purging became compulsive and i found that i couldnāt restrict calories like i used to. I couldnāt eat under 500 anymore when i used to eat under 300 or even fast with relative ease. I developed EDNOS where i mostly purged (with or without binging) and restricted at times too. That went on for a year and then i tried to fully recover at the start of 2018.
With my EDNOS i only gained 6 lbs to 133lbs. After i started recovering i gained 7 more lbs to reach a grand total of 140 lbs. That warped me back in time to all of those restrictive thoughts and tendencies and iām back to it againā the mental caloric calculations, eating under 800, intermittent fasting, exercising whenever possible, sticking only to safe foods. The whole restrictive shebang.
I WILL break through my LW. I will be skinnier and no one will stop me. I cannot let him win. I cannot let myself down. I have to do this.
"I don't know why you're on a diet anyway, you aren't losing any weight"
/u/meilegg
Created: Thu Aug 2 07:12:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93z5fd/i_dont_know_why_youre_on_a_diet_anyway_you_arent/
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Fml
Instagram Group Chat
/u/fjrjcthb
Created: Thu Aug 2 07:06:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93z3lh/instagram_group_chat/
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Hey Iām making an Instagram group chat. Dm me me- Thinaspins
[Discussion] Far from a Kardashian fan but I donāt get how this is KKW and familyās responsibility?
/u/Thatsmybfthrowaway
Created: Thu Aug 2 06:51:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93yzup/far_from_a_kardashian_fan_but_i_dont_get_how_this/
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Someone Iām friends with posted about KKW recent comments about her weight loss with her sisters and Iām struggling to understand how someone elseās problem is somehow triggering these crappy hot takes?
Also isnāt she like 5ā1ā or something fairly tiny? Idk I suppose the comments and reaction could be viewed as problematic but at the same time I donāt get the celebrity responsibility to always be doing what the court of public opinion wants.
If you google āKim Kardashian weight lossā a buuuunch of articles pop up like the below.
https://www.instyle.com/news/kim-kardashian-weight-loss-controversy-emmy-rossum-stephanie-beatriz
[Help] Workouts that will help me become smaller?
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Thu Aug 2 06:37:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ywj7/workouts_that_will_help_me_become_smaller/
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Lmao my weight induced anxiety is rlly high at the moment and just restricting isnāt cutting it. I want to go to the gym and work out, but I really donāt want to bulk up! I wanna become lean and slimmer. What exercises can I do that will help me become small and toned?
7 am binges ...
/u/blazeroftrails
Created: Thu Aug 2 06:35:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93yvwe/7_am_binges/
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Welp, just used up all my calories for the day. Gonna try and fast for the rest of the day I donāt want to say fuck it and just have a binge day. I donāt want to ruin August yet
What would you order from this restaurant when you've been heavily restricting but want to try to act like a normal person?
/u/givecrjasword
Created: Thu Aug 2 06:33:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93yvdc/what_would_you_order_from_this_restaurant_when/
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https://www.dvinebistrochandler.com/main-courses
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support August 02, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 2 06:11:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ypzv/weekly_emotional_support_august_02_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 02, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 2 06:10:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93yprc/daily_food_diary_august_02_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 02, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Dear girlfriend, I know you threw my mechanical scales away but kept my electric ones.
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5 ft 4|118lb|GW: 110|20.20|Not Enough|Nonbinary]
Created: Thu Aug 2 06:01:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ynjm/dear_girlfriend_i_know_you_threw_my_mechanical/
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I know this because I watched her put the electric ones on the dining room table and then into a bag that she was using to move. I had to restrain myself from taking them because I knew it'd upset her if I did. I don't care that she threw my mechanical ones away because they were hard to read and I have some that are easier to read now but why couldn't she have packed them when she was moving her stuff from her room so I didn't have to see them? I think she's probably using them and would cover for me and say they're hers if anyone asked but still, I feel like I put a huge burden on her when I gave them to her.
This is just a ramble at this point sorry guys.
[Help] Reassuring a Friend He Won't Make It Worse
/u/bruised_ribs [F | 14 | 5'6" | CW: 96.8 | GW 80]
Created: Thu Aug 2 06:01:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ynj5/reassuring_a_friend_he_wont_make_it_worse/
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Last night was a really rough night for me. For the second time in a week, I had the urge to literally cut and rip the fat out of my legs using a razor. Of course, this terrified me so I did what any rational person would do: Snapchat her second closest friend. For context, it was almost midnight and I knew my best friend was asleep. So I sent a snap to my second best friend (we'll call him M), with a black screen and text explaining what I was feeling.
He responded almost immediately, saying he didn't know how to help me and that he didn't want to make it worse. M directed me to close friends that we both shared, E and S. I explained that he was the second person I thought of, and had definitely ruled out E because she had made shitty jokes about my eating disorder in the past and was the least understanding and compassionate about it (yelling at me for hating myself after eating half a chocolate bar, along with other shit). S hadn't really crossed my mind, so I sent her a snap as well. However, she responded slower and with less thought in her words than M had (telling me I was skinny in all caps, like that's going to magically cure my BDD).
So M and I resumed our back and forth messaging. I reassured him that after dealing with ED romanticizers and invalidators and rude wannarexics, there was practically nothing short of harassment he could do that would worsen my case. He continued cautiously, asking me about finding a therapist/nutritionist/dietitian. I told him my father was looking into it, but we were scrounging for cash as it is.
We went on talking, him trying to understand my anorexia and I answering his questions as simply as possible. They were questions I had been asked before, so I knew fairly well how to respond without confusing him further (questions about how my BDD worked, what inpatient therapy was, why and how I body checked (which I said he could watch to understand further)).
However, after every two questions or so, he repeated his worries about making it worse. How can I reassure him completely that he won't make it worse, especially when he is trying so hard to understand?
[Rant/Rave] Almost out of the 130's!
/u/agent_philcoulson [27F 5'4" | CW: 132 | GW: 120 | UGW: 115]
Created: Thu Aug 2 05:58:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ymv3/almost_out_of_the_130s/
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Stupid BED. For the past 2 years I have been stuck around 137-140. Well this morning I weighed in at 132. I'm so close to the 120's. I can't fucking wait!
[Rant/Rave] I went out with my friends and didnāt binge! or even want to!
/u/isaezraa [165 | CW 55 | GW 50 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 05:38:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93yio6/i_went_out_with_my_friends_and_didnt_binge_or/
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I got a veggie salad from guzman for 231cals and a sugar free hot chocolate from san churos for 296cals
it was eat street which means there are like 20 food trucks all with amazing calorific foods, and I ate at both mexican and a chocolate restaurant. I had every opportunity to go overboard and I didnāt. I could have gotten the foods ive been craving for weeks but I didnāt, I ate what I planned and I felt full and comfortable!
Iām going to look so hot at this costume party on saturday ahahah
What is something you wish people knew about eating disorders? What advice would you give to their loved ones?
/u/PM-me-your-moogles
Created: Thu Aug 2 05:10:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ycgr/what_is_something_you_wish_people_knew_about/
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I used to post here on an alt account.
My husband confronted me about my eating disorder, something he was already aware of, but basically saying it's gone too far and he's worried.
It's been 13 years. After this long it's more a habit than me battling depression.
Anyway, our talk last night made me realize people have so many misconceptions.
I want to make a list from people who have been there, who get it, who have lived it. We all have something we wish we could explain.
So what are the things you wish people would understand or realize about your struggles or mind set.
[Other] Friend Cancelled on Breakfast - Iām Good with That
/u/_Pulltab_ [5' 7"| CW 171.8 | 26.9|-23.2| F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 05:00:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ya4r/friend_cancelled_on_breakfast_im_good_with_that/
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Iāve been heavy restricting and doing OMAD but was supposed to meet a friend for breakfast today. I was looking forward to seeing her but had all kinds of anxiety about having to eat. She texted and said she wasnāt feeling up to it so now weāre back to regular programming.
[Discussion] Long term effects of EC Stack?
/u/china_doll [5'5.5 | CW150.6 | SW179.2 | 24.87 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 04:58:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93y9s4/long_term_effects_of_ec_stack/
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Soo I'm hoping the more medically knowledgeable of us will be able to chime in here. I've been taking an EC stack (no aspirin) about 5 times a week for the last...2 years. I'm probably an idiot for having taken it that regularly for so long. Honestly I'm surprised I haven't keeled over from a heart attack while typing this. What am I doing to my body long-term with the use of ephedrine?
Also, a more specific question - can EC stacks cause cramping and/or circulation issues? For the last year I've been getting terrible cramping in my legs and feet, generally at night. I've never considered until this morning that it might be caused by the drug I've regularly been taking for the past 2 years š
[Rant/Rave] got asked why im always hungry today
/u/iluvmnms [163cm | CW: 52kg | BMI: 19.6 | GW: 48kg| UGW: 44kg | 18F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 04:54:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93y962/got_asked_why_im_always_hungry_today/
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i was starving the whole day today so i was eating my friend's lunch and my other friend feels the need to ask ''why are you always hungry? like all the time lol'' it made me feel like a pig haha love when people feel the need to comment on my eating habits xxx
[Rant/Rave] I'm such a disordered failure
/u/Fibreoptic_Calico
Created: Thu Aug 2 04:49:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93y87t/im_such_a_disordered_failure/
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I've been doing OMAD with a slight ED twist (high restriction 750-900 cals a day, self loathing, horrible thoughts... you know the drill).... I've been doing it a while, and honestly I was feeling much better, it was easier to control my eating, no binging, no overeating. I like feeling empty during the day, I don't have to worry about food.....
But now, I'm struggling to get through the day. I'm feeling lousy, low energy, lightheaded, short tempered and mean and I don't know why. Ok, so I'm restricting a little bit too, but even after high cal, I still feel dreadful the next day until I get to my eating window.
People do this every day and cope fine and yet here I am being a princess about it. I've done electrolyte replacement, but it's not helped. I'm not even loosing weight, just maintaining. Shits ridiculous and I just needed to vent. I suck at everything. Everything is counted out, and nothing else is passing my lips apart from low cal fluids, which are accounted for.
[Help] Urgh help!!
/u/glitchydowner
Created: Thu Aug 2 04:23:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93y36r/urgh_help/
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Feels like my period is coming and all I want to do is eat!!!
If I binge I'll be so angry with myself as I'm trying to wait until Saturday (going to a restaurant for a friend's birthday)
I don't wanna binge at all but I just know it's Gunna happen soon!
Urgh what do I do!?!
I've just got my first gw and don't wanna fuck it up!
Urgh
Why is life so hard? :(
[Help] Nervous about party
/u/eyjafjallafuckyall [17F | 156cm | HW 53,7kg | LW 38,7kg | CW 45,4kg]
Created: Thu Aug 2 04:08:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93y06b/nervous_about_party/
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So my friendās birthday party is Friday into Saturday, and itās more or less a small gathering (like 6 people, I think), so I canāt flake, and anything I do will be noticed. I have a tendency to binge at these things, but I reeeally donāt want to undo my progress, and I donāt want to mess up and not hit my GW by the time I leave for university. I already have an excuse to skip breakfast, but Iāve got nothing for dinner. Last year we had sushi, which was great because I always get full after like 3 pieces of sushi, but this year she said sheās getting chicken nuggets and pizza, which I could eat endlessly. Plus cake, my biggest weakness. Any words of wisdom on what to do?
[Other] Some words of encouragement taken from the Bible
/u/dontchaserabbits
Created: Thu Aug 2 03:49:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93xwm1/some_words_of_encouragement_taken_from_the_bible/
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Matthew 6: 25 - 34 (Jesus Himself speaking)
25Ā āTherefore I tell you, do not worryĀ about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?Ā 26Ā Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.Ā Are you not much more valuable than they?27Ā Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
28Ā āAnd why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.Ā 29Ā Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendorĀ was dressed like one of these.Ā 30Ā If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe youāyou of little faith?Ā 31Ā So do not worry, saying, āWhat shall we eat?ā or āWhat shall we drink?ā or āWhat shall we wear?āĀ 32Ā For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.Ā 33Ā But seek first his kingdomĀ and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.Ā 34Ā Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
John 14:27 (Jesus Himself speaking)
27Ā Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.Ā I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubledĀ and do not be afraid.
Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart
This is King Davids account on Gods love for him. How he created & pursued him.
Psalm 139
1You have searched me,Ā Lord,
Ā Ā Ā Ā and you knowĀ me. 2Ā You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughtsĀ from afar. 3Ā You discern my going outĀ and my lying down; you are familiar with all my way. 4Ā Before a word is on my tongue you,Ā Lord, know it completely. 5Ā You hem me inĀ behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 6Ā Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too loftyĀ for me to attain. 7Ā Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I fleeĀ from your presence? 8Ā If I go up to the heavens,Ā you are there; if I make my bedĀ in the depths, you are there. 9Ā If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10Ā even there your hand will guide me, your right handĀ will hold me fast.
11Ā If I say, āSurely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,ā 12Ā even the darkness will not be darkĀ to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. 13Ā For you created my inmost being; you knit me togetherĀ in my motherās womb. 14Ā I praise youĀ because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,Ā I know that full well. 15Ā My frame was not hidden from you when I was madeĀ in the secret place, when I was woven togetherĀ in the depths of the earth. 16Ā Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordainedĀ for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17Ā How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! 18Ā Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sandā when I awake,Ā I am still with you.
God isn't this wrathful guy stuck in a cloud. His the prince of peace, deliverer of people, bondage breaker, friend, comforter, the great counsellor, healer and more. Your body was hand crafted by God Himself. You're not a random occurance. Nothing is formed without His involvement. Your body is so precious He chooses to reside within you if you want Him there.
1 Corinthians 6:19
19. Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself
Jeremiah 33:3
3. Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known
The greatest therapist whoever lived can't wait to listen to your problems free of charge. Try Him out.
**If you want to be prayed for, please pm me**
Stay encouraged :)
[Discussion] Anybody else EXTREMELY bothered by evidence of eating?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 2 02:53:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93xm8h/anybody_else_extremely_bothered_by_evidence_of/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] This post on /r/loseit almost got me relapsing
/u/AspergersAndCoffee [5'2F | Last recorded weight: 93 | SW: 100 | Recovering]
Created: Thu Aug 2 02:52:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93xm1x/this_post_on_rloseit_almost_got_me_relapsing/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So I've been put on zoloft š
/u/glossboy [5'2 | CW:š· | GW:94 |-29 | š: glossboy]
Created: Thu Aug 2 02:32:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93xilj/so_ive_been_put_on_zoloft/
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Long story short is I waited way too long to get a professional diagnosis for my mental health issues. Turns out I have severe depression and anxiety combo with possibility of add (add is still in the dark).
I explained lightly that I wanted something that wouldn't cause me to balloon or anything. My psychiatrist obliged and cancelled out options that were bound to make me gain weight. I had a choice between prozac (weigh neutral) and zoloft (possible weight gain). And she ended up choosing zoloft for me due to the fact that it leaves the system faster.
I don't know if this is the placebo effect, but I've been ravenous since I've taken it. Strange but I'm not *craving* anything. But my stomach is like grumbling more than ever and this terrifies me. I ate a large meal and my stomach was growling not too long after. Most of my binges are however emotion-fueled (need to stimulate my mouth/emotional comfort). I'm gonna keep an eye on it because she said that it's possible if zoloft is right for me it'll help treat emotional eating? But I'm just so anxious. It's like 90% of posts on zoloft I've read is that people have gained weight on it.
She said she's gonna prioritize treating my depression and anxiety first to see if I really do have add. Apparently people with add and depression will show more symptoms of their add when they have their depression treated? So we'll find out from there.
I have a week until my follow up and I'm dreading it. I don't even know what one week will accomplish since I heard you need to be on zoloft for minimum 2 weeks to see any benefits. I'm assuming she's just gonna check on me to make sure zoloft doesn't have wild side effects that I can't handle. I wish I could just up and say I'm too afraid to continue with this medication due to weight-related reasons and ask for something else but that sounds a bit steep to be risking.
I still have suspicion that I have add and it's causing depression+anxiety but welp, a professional is a professional.
It's only been day one but I still feel foggy and if anything more anxious. I think these are common symptoms for beginning it though.
[Rant/Rave] Hello everyone, I just did my first 24 hour fast
/u/sadgab_ [5'8.5 | CW:120| GW: 114 | 19]
Created: Thu Aug 2 02:23:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93xh3z/hello_everyone_i_just_did_my_first_24_hour_fast/
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Yo yo yo hoes
I did my first actually fucking day fast yalll and I appreciate yāall and would like to thank bronkaid, Diet Coke, and mint juul pods - i wouldnāt have gotten to where I was today without you guys -they are the true mvp also Im not even remotely hungry but I did want to eat some cookie dough just cause itās sounds good but the euphoria from the fact that I actually did it is keeping me sound and I have no intention of quitting now-imma try not to eat until tomorrow night because i have a date and we are gonna cook food so i think I can hold out till then which will wonāt be until tomorrow night so itāll almost be a 2 day fast which is frickin lit and Iām pretty hyped, howās all yalls nights going??? If anyone else fasted today Iām proud of yāall and if you guys had a bad night and binged I just want to let you know that I love you and I hope your body got the nutrients it was craving and you are still gonna be ok, and one binge should not deter you-you are still amazing and ya basically I love yāall and I also love not eating (fuck that sounds bad but itās whatever) goodnight homies
[Help] Low white blood cell count? Also, doctor's appt tomorrow. Help!
/u/lemonbasilthyme [5'3" | 98.4 lbs | 17.4 | 14.4 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 02:11:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93xeyr/low_white_blood_cell_count_also_doctors_appt/
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Hi, I'm new here.
I have a chronic disease that leaves me susceptible to things like iron-deficiency anemia and a few mineral deficiencies, and because I recently sent an email to my specialist asking/complaining about fatigue, he ordered a number of tests including a complete blood panel.
The results were not what I expected. I assumed they'd find low iron levels and sign me back up for IV infusions. In fact, my ferritin at the very end of normal range, but my white blood cell count is completely trashed. I've been referred back to my primary care for further investigation.
If you Google "low white blood cell count," the causes listed are viral infections, cancer, and autoimmune disease -- all of which are genuinely within the realm of possibility for me.
On the other hand, I am in the midst of a relapse. It started thirteen weeks ago and I've lost 14.5 lbs, which puts me at a BMI of 17.4. I must emphasize that I'm an experienced adult, my restriction mostly takes the form of orthorexia, and I haven't employed any dangerous or extreme habits apart from consistently maintaining a calorie deficit...
Now this is the bad part: I just saw my primary care physician in early May, and it's not going to escape her that I've lost 12-13% of my body weight in three months. Has anyone here had low WBC, and seen it attributed to malnutrition of some kind?
I am so unprepared to discuss anything ED with my doctor, but on the other hand I can't just ignore these bad results and skip the appointment to avoid an awkward conversation -- because, you know, what if it's something serious? Should I admit I've been intentionally losing weight, or just shrug it off and let her run a gamut of tests?
Any advice much appreciated!
Can I get some support from y'all? I'm really struggling here
/u/foreverfalling99
Created: Thu Aug 2 01:44:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93xaah/can_i_get_some_support_from_yall_im_really/
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Hey there, I've been a poster with a different account for a long time. I've had bulimia for over two years now and it's been completely life-changing in the worst possible way. My relationship with food is even more fucked up, and the thought of normalcy is hard to comprehend.
I just wanted to make this post because I've gone through a horrible binge phase for the last two months and I'm up almost 15 lbs. Would you be able to send some positive words my way that I'll be able to conquer this and get back on track? I don't even necessarily want to lose weight in an unhealthy way, I just want to feel like myself again and connecting with you all seems like the best way to start :(
[Rant/Rave] Cartoon pizza???
/u/stillweighting [5'4 | CW 130 | GW 99 | LW 107 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 2 01:31:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93x7z8/cartoon_pizza/
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So Iāve been having a terrible week, the scale has literally fluctuated 14lbs so I have no idea how much I actually weigh at the moment (think they might be broken)
But right now all I can think about is how fucking delicious cartoon pizza looks?
Does anyone else get that with stuff thatās not technically food??
Trying new strategy against binging: cooking vegetables
/u/Babunator
Created: Thu Aug 2 01:01:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93x1z4/trying_new_strategy_against_binging_cooking/
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Yesterday I binged and this got me thinking. I only keep food/vegetables at home that I need to cook like broccoli, zucchini, caluiflower, otherwise I eat, eat and eat....
I binged on fucking:
* 1 kg/2,2 lbs carrots
* 0,5 kg/1,1 lbs peaches
* 0,5 kg/ 1,1 lbs strawberries
* 0,5kg/ 1,1 lbs skyr yogurt
* 3 apples
And after that I still felt hungry as fuck.... The only thing stopping me was that the only food left was some frozen vegetables and I didn't feel like cooking them.
no more safe options for me at work :(
/u/disfigures
Created: Thu Aug 2 00:55:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93x0u6/no_more_safe_options_for_me_at_work/
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i currently work at starbucks, and i loooove making my own low/zero cal drinks by messing around with ingredients behind bar & also following recipes from people like themacrobarista but NOPE i cant do that anymore.
my manager is cracking down on us preparing our own food & drinks (even if we punch it in/pay for food) and i cant bare to ask my coworkers to modify anything i order for the sake of them getting suspicious/annoyed with how tedious my orders are. š im going to get reaaaaal sick of iced americanos soon
im considering just getting "normal" drinks that people get then dumping it out when nobody's paying attention but id hate to be wasting stuff š¤ im too darn conflicted for this...
[Goal] Today's my 23rd birthday. This is the best gift I've ever gotten myself.
/u/edub12345 [5'6 | 127 | 20.5 | -18lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 23:57:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93wpr2/todays_my_23rd_birthday_this_is_the_best_gift_ive/
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https://i.redd.it/j2c7kvwwdmd11.jpg
[Help] What do you do to deal with high stress to avoid binge eating?
/u/cloudsofdawn [5'6.5' | 169cm | 129lbs | 20.5 | ā]
Created: Wed Aug 1 23:56:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93wpla/what_do_you_do_to_deal_with_high_stress_to_avoid/
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Iāve been super stressed lately, especially around my weight. I try to restrict or fast as normal and it always ends badly due to the stress right now. Keeps ending in binges.
What do you all do instead or do to cope instead of binging? Or replace the behaviour? Obviously this doesnāt have to work every time but any suggestions I think would be helpful for me and others!
Has anyone else watched the movie FEED (starring Troian Bellisario)?
/u/invincibletitan33 [5'4.5 | 52kg | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 23:51:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93wolf/has_anyone_else_watched_the_movie_feed_starring/
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I watched it last night. Probably not the best idea given my already depressed mood but oh well. Made me wonder do you all have that voice inside your head that tells you to eat/not to eat?
Calorie guessing game!
/u/HonestRaspberry
Created: Wed Aug 1 23:51:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93wogc/calorie_guessing_game/
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https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristatorres/do-these-cheesecake-factory-slices-have-more-or-less
[Rant/Rave] My body hates me I swear
/u/Fatalope [Height 5'4 | CW 136 | GW 104 | HW 168 | 21 F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 23:08:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93wfls/my_body_hates_me_i_swear/
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Okay so this happens every now and again where I like hardcore crave nutella. I have never has it but I've smelled it and it smells so delicious and wonderful and I want to just eat some so badly.
Oh... did I mention I am DEATHLY ALLERGIC TO HAZELNUTS?
Like wtf body. I know i wanna die but can you be a bit more subtle about it sheesh.
[Discussion] Low sex drive when restricting/at a low weight
/u/philoqueen [5'7" | CW 112 | BMI 17.5 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 23:07:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93wfe8/low_sex_drive_when_restrictingat_a_low_weight/
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Hi friends, Ok this might be TMI and tagged it as nsfw just in case, idk, paranoia.
1. Even though Iām technically āunderweightā I still feel like I look like a beached whale, therefore absolutely do not want to be naked under any circumstance, besides the necessity of showering.
2. I don't really get a period anymore, sometimes I do but it's outrageously light and short, so maybe that means I'm not ovulating anymore (???)
3. I feel like I donāt deserve to feel good physically anyway
4. I FEEL TOO HUNGRY TO FEEL ANYTHING ELSEā including feeling horny.
Has anyone else experienced this when restricting or when reaching a low weight? Does it pass? I really don't know how to feel/what to do about this because I've never been this disinterested in sex before.
The Feeling of Relief When You Hold Off a Binge is Unreal
/u/AnAccidentSince1997 [5'10'' | CW: 183 | GW: 160 | Weight Lost: 42 lb | F 21]
Created: Wed Aug 1 22:47:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93wb7o/the_feeling_of_relief_when_you_hold_off_a_binge/
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I have a hard time not snacking when I'm home because there is food around. As a sort of cheat for myself, I'll cheat by eating a small, pinky-tip amount of peanut butter or parmesan cheese. It feels like snacking without really snacking.
Well, today I had a small pinkey amount of peanut butter and, before I knew it, I was 3 tablespoons of peanut butter and 2 of jelly down. I didn't even realize it was happening until then. Suddenly I was like "wtf you doing?! No way, not letting this happen." One more bite or two and I probably would have just eaten the jar ravenously. Like, it sucks that today's count is ruined, but it's just one day and I'm absolutely so thankful and relieved that I noticed before 400 calories turned into like 3000+.
[Discussion] Vegan Keto day 3- DAE get binge dreams?
/u/linedryonly [5'5"ā| CW 133 | SW 145 | LW 102 | GW 110]
Created: Wed Aug 1 22:22:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93w5oe/vegan_keto_day_3_dae_get_binge_dreams/
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Oh boy, DAE get weirdo binge nightmares? It's been a while since I've been this regimented with my restriction and I totally forgot about them. Last night I dreamed that I ate two entire pans of cobbler- one was low carb and one was not. I freaked out for a long time trying to figure out which was which until I realized that I was fu\*\*ed either way because I ate them both lol
[Rant/Rave] This is completely unrelated to everything but this is my only safe place to vent
/u/anxiety-and-theatre
Created: Wed Aug 1 22:10:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93w2pa/this_is_completely_unrelated_to_everything_but/
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First off, Iām diagnosed with anxiety
So, Iām 16, special ed in the fact that I donāt process information too well. Thereās a science class at my school for sophomores who are special ed (active physics) and itās easier for kids who donāt do things as well. The teacher is about 35, 6+ feet tall, and 300 pounds. Well there was an experiment where we needed one cup with two magnets that attract to each other through the bottom of the cup, and we also needed 2 wires, among other things. I go to gather my materials and I accidentally grab two cups and one wire. The magnets on the two cups attach to each other and theyāre moderately strong magnets. Iām in the process of fixing it and the teacher comes over like āWhat are you doingā and Iām anxious and sweating and Iām like āI messed up so Iām trying to fix itā and heās like āwhy do you have two cups?!?ā And heās starting to yell and Iām close to tears so I mutter āDonāt yell at meā with my voice cracking. He continues to yell āAnd whereās your other wire?!? It says two wires?!? Canāt you read?!ā And the class is staring and Iām crying cause he wonāt stop yelling at me. THIS CLASS IS FOR SPED KIDS! WHY THE HELL DOES HE THINK THIS IS OKAY?
So I just sob, and sob for 15 minutes in class with tons of people around, the teacher starts thinking āmaybe that wasnāt a good ideaā and he comes back later and was like āalright, so you take the wire and wrap it around the battery, is that okay?ā And I start wrapping it and Iām broken, still crying. A girl gets into class after skipping the first 30 minutes and asks me whatās wrong, I can hardly get words out so I say āask someone elseā she does, and then she gets me a tissue. Iām mad at myself for reacting so badly. And 15 minutes after that the teacher came over and was like āokay, you can put up your stuff and be done for the dayā
And Iām still all cry-y and puffy eyed. The other teacher comes in towards the end of class (it was team taught) he sees me, so the mean teacher walks up to him and says āso, [anxietyandtheatre] made a mistake and I might have been too hard on her, so, um, sorry"
It took be days to feel okay again, and I still have a bad reaction to thinking about it (Iām crying while typing it) and this was months ago, Iām going into 11th grade. Now I have start having really bad anxiety when someone mentions yelling at their kids, even if they say it in a apologetic way.
That teacher has a daughter my age, and also a wife. He could be so aggressive to his daughter and give her some issues. My mom would probably get him in trouble if she knew but I blamed myself so badly that even though I was suffering I didnāt say anything to her. I still canāt get over this and itās killing me
[Rant/Rave] Why does eating always equate failure...
/u/Floor_32
Created: Wed Aug 1 21:27:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93vssz/why_does_eating_always_equate_failure/
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I'm a regular faster.. I was on hour 70 last night and the hunger was strong this round. Sometimes I can fast for 9 days and I do ok. Other times, two full days is a struggle.
I was determined to not eat yesterday. I promised myself that if I made it to this morning, I could eat.
And I made it. And the scale reflected my determination.
And sooo drumroll.. : 2 steamer bags of cauliflower rice, one small can of wild salmon, one small tin of sardines, a bowl of mixed nuts and a dark chocolate bar. If I had stayed away from the chocolate, it would have been a good keto day, but noooooooo you fat f**k.
Anyhoo, rough total is 1500 calories after 3 days of water fasting. Logic dictates that this should equal eventual further weight loss. But logic doesn't live here...
You just HAD TO EAT TODAY, didn't you? You're just so damn weak, so pathetic. And now your belly is full and you are back to mediocre.
Have fun weighing in tomorrow. You deserve it.
[Rant/Rave] Purged successfully. Now I'm scared I'll do it again.
/u/Dontloseyour-Ed
Created: Wed Aug 1 21:23:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93vruu/purged_successfully_now_im_scared_ill_do_it_again/
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It wasn't a binge. I was in control and knew what I was doing. I was eating cereal. Fecking cereal. It is so hard to stop eating once you go for a handful. Then another. Then another. Then before you know it you've watched 2 episodes of Project Runway and eaten over half the box. Needless to say I felt disgusting.
I chugged 3 big cups of water and then my stomach felt like it would rip open (I was genuinely worried it had) so I made my way to the bathroom and tried to purge.
Now, I have tried and failed to purge 3 times in a row previous to this attempt, yet here I was, in the same situation.
I have succeeded before, which is why I think I even tried.
After a few unsuccessful tries I drank some more water (ow) and tried again.
I won't explain what I did because I don't want to be giving tips on how to purge but I tried something different this time, and, by chance, it worked. I did it again before cleaning up.
It wasn't until I sat down on the floor to rest that fear sunk in.
Now that I know I can do it, will I do it again? If I feel like binging, am I more likely to do it now because I know I can purge?
What have I got myself into.
This has been a 4am rant by me, thank you for reading.
[Rant/Rave] So stressed out about this weekend, birthday party Friday engagement party Saturday. Iām going to over eat for sure.
/u/savageplum27
Created: Wed Aug 1 21:18:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93vqn4/so_stressed_out_about_this_weekend_birthday_party/
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This weekend I have to go to my cousins birthday party on Friday and then an engagement party at my beat friends house Saturday. I have just started restricting this week after a long time of binging and massive weight gain, Iām the biggest Iāve been since high school and I hate myself. Iāve done ok this week and Iām so scared Iāll mess up this weekend and go right back to eating whatever and get even fatter. I give into pressure so fast most of the time. All it take is for someone to offer me something to eat or drink that I super want, not to mention people make a big deal when you turn stuff down. Iām so stressed out and I do t know what to do, Iām so worried about stuffing my face Iām not even looking forward to activities that should be fun. The engagement party is for me BTW so I canāt even flake out.
[Other] Not going to weigh myself tomorrow morning.
/u/Thtcrazygiraffe
Created: Wed Aug 1 21:04:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93vnas/not_going_to_weigh_myself_tomorrow_morning/
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But only because I binged and Iām scared of what the scale will say so Iām also going to fast tomorrow and hopefully next time I weigh myself itāll have evened out
[Discussion] Favorite (free) cardio videos?
/u/VegetableToe
Created: Wed Aug 1 20:59:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93vlyo/favorite_free_cardio_videos/
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Curious what everyone's favorite cardio workouts are, preferably free videos on YouTube, Amazon Prime, Hulu, etc. I'm primarily into low impact exercise and usually walk an hour every day or do yoga, but recently I feel like I need to get my ass moving more. I've owned the insanity dvd's since they first came out and love the pure cardio day, but loathe the HIIT workouts. I don't want to do in-person classes right because, hello, body dysmorphia. I know y'all understand. Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
[Rant/Rave] Lunch or heart attack? 91hrs into 143hr fast
/u/girlinapanic [163cm | 54.4kg | 20.5 bmi | 3rdGW 49.9 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 20:53:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93vkh4/lunch_or_heart_attack_91hrs_into_143hr_fast/
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https://i.redd.it/qacrwtazgld11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I...played myself?
/u/s_chill_er [5'7''|CW:117|GW:110|18.3| -17| 18]
Created: Wed Aug 1 20:45:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93vijt/i_feel_like_iplayed_myself/
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Right before my ed, iāve always dreamt about to be really close to 50kg. I had this picture in my head how i would look like, and i loved it. But now Im finally reaching my goal (lost almost 10kg) and I feel like i look the same,nothing like the picture in my head.Maybe i overestimated the effects of the weight loss before or my mind is playing tricks on me... anyways i have to keep losing weight i guess. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this?
This is an actual dream product.
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Wed Aug 1 20:27:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ve0n/this_is_an_actual_dream_product/
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https://www.today.com/food/coffee-flavored-coke-may-be-just-what-our-afternoon-slump-t116769
[Goal] Reached one of my first goals!!
/u/bigbeyoncefan
Created: Wed Aug 1 19:56:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93v7pl/reached_one_of_my_first_goals/
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I bought a brown suede skirt my senior of high school and it was a little snug and Iāve gained some weight since then. now Iām going into my junior year of university tried on the skirt for the first time in years and itās actually loose! My first goal was to fit into it again and after weeks of restricting it paid off!! Iām so happy rn omg but I still have a long way until my next goal
i dont think i want to love myself.
/u/biblicalirony [5'3 | cw: 174 | hw: 234 | lw: 170 | gw: 115 | 15f]
Created: Wed Aug 1 19:55:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93v7lo/i_dont_think_i_want_to_love_myself/
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wow lol it's sad typing that out but i think back to the days when i didn't have an ed and while i was happy not being so mentally caught up with my weight and how i thought i looked, i now feel like i didn't deserve to be? happy, that is. i look back on pictures of myself and all i can think about is how fat and ugly i was. i've lost weight. if i stare at the mirror long enough, i can see that i've lost the weight and for a sliver of a second, i almost feel happy with the progress i've made but that sliver of a second is immediately retracted with thoughts like, "how dare. how *dare* you insinuate any form of love or respect for the body you have now when you're still obese, you fat fuck?"
and god, i can't even tell you guys how much i don't like myself but i can't imagine seeing myself in a more positive light without feeling like i'm feeding to some sort of security blanket if that makes any sense. i feel so undeserving of love. from myself and everyone else. which is horrible because besides the obvious acknowledgement that everyone intrinsically wants to be loved, i'm a hopeless romantic and i fantasize so much about having someone who loves me but i just dont think im deserving of it. not in this body, anyway. and maybe even not at all, regardless of my body ha
Threw up dinner to drink more wine
/u/subtleskeleton
Created: Wed Aug 1 19:52:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93v6re/threw_up_dinner_to_drink_more_wine/
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Canāt go over calories because I am worthless. Need to be drunk because I am worthless. Hence, purging a reasonable, healthy meal to make room for wine and rum and Diet Coke!
.....totally healthy, right?
[Discussion] Problems with binging, anything I could buy to help?
/u/RedFolly
Created: Wed Aug 1 19:42:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93v4fn/problems_with_binging_anything_i_could_buy_to_help/
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Dose anyone know of any OTC pills or powders or drinks that help them not have the urge to binge?
Iāve looked around on amazon but there are so many things for sell itās overwhelming and I have a limited income so donāt want to waste money on things that donāt work
"I'm going to start eating what you eat." -My Husband
/u/oldesoul96 [32F | 5'4" | HW 270 lbs| CW 161 | BMI 27.7]
Created: Wed Aug 1 19:24:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93v0fe/im_going_to_start_eating_what_you_eat_my_husband/
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I suffer from BED and I have been trying to not binge and also get rid of these last 30-35ish pounds to get to my UGW. Restricting heavily really helps me feel in control and oddly, helps me not binge. Yesterday, completely unprompted, my husband says "I've got a couple pounds to lose, I am going to start eating what you eat." *heavy sigh* It's already going to be hard because we are literally together 24/7, we both work from home starting Monday and eat all of our meals together.
He thinks I eat 1200 calories a day... and sometimes I do, but I would really like to get to a healthy BMI by November (17ish pounds.) I encouraged him to stick to 1500 as is "safe" for a dude... so we shall see where this goes. He's not good at eyeballing calories like I am so maybe he won't notice that my portions are tiny.
[Rant/Rave] I havenāt had any safe food in the house for a few days so my fiancĆ© went shopping for me
/u/speedayyyy
Created: Wed Aug 1 19:13:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93uxq6/i_havent_had_any_safe_food_in_the_house_for_a_few/
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Iāve been binging and purging for the past couple days real bad because I havenāt anything I deem safe in the house so my craving tend to get out of control. So this wonderful man went to the store for me even though it was late as heck and he worked all day. He got me my favorite wheat bagel thins, lots of rice cakes, carrots, Diet Coke and some morning star stuff!!! Iāve felt so weak lately because of purging anything I eat lately but now I have some safe stuff. Plus I feel even worse since I canāt go to the gym today, my thighs hurt so much from doing too many squats yesterday :(
Why do I even have Instagram it just makes me feel so shitty about myself
/u/blazeroftrails
Created: Wed Aug 1 19:09:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93uwlp/why_do_i_even_have_instagram_it_just_makes_me/
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On top of the whole āI follow a bazillion models so Iām bombarded by thinspo every time I open the appā thing, I never post (literally have zero posts lol) because I canāt stand the way I look and then I get offended when people unfollow me. Why am I like this lol
[Help] What addiction could I swap for my binging?
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Wed Aug 1 19:00:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93uuej/what_addiction_could_i_swap_for_my_binging/
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I've gone back and forth between restricting and binging, and it's because I could never stick with just not eating because I feel like I need to do something - and anorexia is the opposite of that (it's NOT doing something). (I just reread this... it makes it seem like anorexia is my goal... it's not I swear. I just want to lessen the binging.) I feel like I need something addictive to substitute for it. I've thought about caffeine and it seems to decrease my appetite. I'm not gonna do any illegal drugs or drink alcohol because I'm a.. solitary person? idk.
Do you have any addiction to substitute for binging?
Group therapy
/u/cavicat
Created: Wed Aug 1 18:51:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93us7m/group_therapy/
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So I'm currently in a therapy program for issues not related to ED. I have mentioned this in group a few times but that's not really the focus. Anyway, one of the therapists is going to be bringing in baked goods for everyone tomorrow and I've been really anxious about it all week. I've tried to bring up my concerns in there but it's not being like heard. Idk I'm thinking I'll just say I'm kosher or vegan or gluten free tomorrow and hope that gets me off the hook.
[Help] Advice from people with BED
/u/coolmistmama
Created: Wed Aug 1 18:40:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93up91/advice_from_people_with_bed/
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My friend has BED. Our friendship has dissolved for reasons completely unrelated but my anorexia and associated disorders were a part of it, for honesty.
However we were attempting to reconcile recently and she has cancelled twice, in two days, due to the after effects from extreme bingeing. I know sheās stressed but thereās a part of me that kind of wants to cut my losses and go on my own road. Two eating disorders seems way harder than one.
But Iām worried Iām really being irrational and not compassionate and Iām asking for what the life experience is for those with BED?
DAE get heart palpitations when it's time to eat?
/u/exmorbidly
Created: Wed Aug 1 18:39:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93uoxa/dae_get_heart_palpitations_when_its_time_to_eat/
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Uh this probably sounds insane, but I do OMAD. Lately, when it's time to eat (like I'm dishing up my plate), I've been getting heart palpitations and shortness of breath. I wonder if it's some kind of anxiety about the food? I'm really weirded out by it. It also makes me sad, like maybe I'm just putting SO MUCH pressure on the meal, that it's giving me anxiety. Just wondering if this happens to anyone else.
Collect Them All
/u/newforvevernever [5'6'' | CW 113.7 | GW 101 | WL 4 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 18:36:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93uocy/collect_them_all/
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https://imgur.com/V82oEBx.jpg
[Help] Does keeping really busy help you personally with restriction/not binging?
/u/dxylightt [5ā2 ish | 120-125? | GW: 90-95 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 18:18:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ujnd/does_keeping_really_busy_help_you_personally_with/
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For the past couple years Iāve pretty much turned into a recluse who hardly leaves the house (I donāt have any friends, I work from home and I take online classes so I hardly have any reason to leave my home ... doesnāt help I have bad anxiety). Anywho, Iām always telling myself that once I hit my GW Iāll *finally* go out and make friends and start dating and actually having a life, blah, blah, blah. Well, I shouldāve hit my GW a whiiiile ago. š Since I donāt have anything important in life to do, I often get into the, āMeh. Who cares if I binge? I can just reach my GW a couple weeks laterā mindset, since waiting around the house 24/7 to lose weight to live a hypothetical life is *boring.* So then cue binge, cue weight gain, cue restriction, cue binge again which ruins the progress of restriction. Rinse and repeat.
So Iām asking you all here, when you personally are really busy and live a life that has a more jam-packed schedule (or at least a lot of things to do) does it help you with restriction? I keep telling myself that I need to just lose the weight before I do anything, but maybe if I started being busier itād help a lot with the binge urges. Iām just curious to hear what other peopleās opinions are about living a full life versus a rather stagnant life, and how that cycles into your restriction/binging patterns.
[Discussion] Does anybody feel āfakeā for being cognizant enough about their disorder to be on here?
/u/LemonsnRoses
Created: Wed Aug 1 18:08:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ugug/does_anybody_feel_fake_for_being_cognizant_enough/
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Something about how a lot of anorexia stories or accounts where they say āI didnāt even know what *insert disorder here* was before I was diagnosedā makes me feel like im faking for knowing what it was and still doing it. Makes me feel like I chose this because it sounded like a good idea. Makes me feel like Iām just on a diet and faking all of this, which isnāt logical but still I feel like it. Does anybody else feel like that?
My ephedrine vendor has been out of stock for months and I'm freaking out
/u/avaflies [5'4" | GW bone]
Created: Wed Aug 1 17:57:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ue31/my_ephedrine_vendor_has_been_out_of_stock_for/
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Does anyone have ideas? Any websites or substitutes? I'm desperate. I haven't had any since May and pounds are piling on.
[Discussion] Losing weight differently than the last time I had a drastic weight loss.
/u/losemore [5ā9.5 | oink | 22F | UGW 100lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 1 17:43:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93uadf/losing_weight_differently_than_the_last_time_i/
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Sorry for the shit show of a title, I donāt even know how to explain this coherently so bear with me.. but a few years ago, when I was 19, I dropped a big amount of weight and got to my LW, and even though I was slim, I donāt remember being this.. bony?
I stayed at that weight for around a year and then shot up around 33 pounds.. Iām now back down to 1 pound from my last LW which has happened within the last few months (yay restriction and relapse) and my body looks very different to how I remember it last looking at this weight.
For example, my bones are a lot more prominent, I can clearly see my chest bones and ribs, but I also have a bit more āflabā than I remember.
Is my body composition changing as Iām getting older? I wouldnāt think 3 years would change my body this much, can anybody else relate??
Anybody else kind of motivated by relationships here?
/u/blazeroftrails
Created: Wed Aug 1 17:43:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ua97/anybody_else_kind_of_motivated_by_relationships/
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Like Iām dating this new guy and his ex was so skinny and Iām just afraid Iām not good enough. Heās totally known as like a player and Iām so scared heās gonna ditch me cause Iām not pretty enough or skinny enough. Itās fueling this shit so much. Iām borderline underweight so I know Iām just being ridiculous but my brain keeps telling me āyaknow heāll like you more when your BMI is 16ā
My new favorite juice! Tropicana Coco Blends
/u/sucrederable
Created: Wed Aug 1 17:27:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93u643/my_new_favorite_juice_tropicana_coco_blends/
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Calorie wise it's perfect for my plan. 70 cals per 8 ounces. It's a perfect amount of sweet to satisfy my sweet tooth.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like mineral/sparkling water is for people w an ED
/u/kurtisskinny
Created: Wed Aug 1 17:24:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93u53a/i_feel_like_mineralsparkling_water_is_for_people/
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I would consider myself a bit of a conspiracy theorist and I don't think this is a conspiracy but, I don't know, something about it and the people who seem to like it all seem to have particular food habits (myself included) in my personal experience. So maybe it's not made specifically for us but like we're the only ones who drink it.
Thanks for taking 3 minutes to read this...sorry you'll never get them back lol
Tfw you canāt stop bingeing so you force yourself to only eat protein bars for 3 days
/u/blazeroftrails
Created: Wed Aug 1 17:21:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93u4cz/tfw_you_cant_stop_bingeing_so_you_force_yourself/
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Breakfast lunch and dinner baby. 670kcal/day including my vitamins. Itās easier for me not to binge when itās all prepackaged.
[Other] wisdom teeth out while in a binge phase :)
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 130.2lbs | 20M]
Created: Wed Aug 1 17:21:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93u4c8/wisdom_teeth_out_while_in_a_binge_phase/
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literally got a dry socket because a day after the surgery I could not resist the urge to eat pringles. Iām so fucking embarrassing
[Help] I Can't Stay Under 1200 calories? Help!
/u/trappedindepression
Created: Wed Aug 1 16:37:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ts78/i_cant_stay_under_1200_calories_help/
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I am on day 2 of an intermittent fast. On My Fitness Pal I set the calories to 1200. But I can't stay under that. I keep eating too much! 1200 is only for full eating days. On fasting days I will be eating 500 calories. But I know I'm going to fail if I can't even stay under 1200. I am depressed and I'm having an urge to binge tonight. Can anyone help me? How do you stay under 1200 calories?
Giant 25 calorie cookies!!!
/u/tofu_igloo
Created: Wed Aug 1 16:11:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93tkul/giant_25_calorie_cookies/
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https://i.redd.it/tojzlq8o2kd11.jpg
[Tip] Here's a tip to get discounted Halo Top
/u/patriotsfan4life [5'2 | fluctuates daily | 19? | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 16:08:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93tjvf/heres_a_tip_to_get_discounted_halo_top/
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This is slightly unethical but it's not illegal or anything so don't feel uncomfortable doing this.
First, you will need some underfilled pints of Halo Top. Almost every pint I get from Costco seems to be underfilled, so that's where I go if I need one.
Next, send them an email, I think it's [info@halotop.com](mailto:info@halotop.com) or something like that, they also have it on their website so you can double check. Say something like "hi I love your ice cream but I got an underfilled pint" or something. (This step is a one-time thing.) They will then link you to a form. Fill out that form and receive a coupon for one free pint in the mail. Also don't delete that email, keep it around and every time you get an underfilled pint, reuse the form.
I've done this twice so far, very effective if you're poor, 10/10 would recommend.
My kitchen scale broke and I can't buy a new one until Sunday
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Wed Aug 1 16:00:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93thdu/my_kitchen_scale_broke_and_i_cant_buy_a_new_one/
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šššššššššššššš
[Other] Phases of Fasting, in Any Order
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 15:08:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93t1ez/phases_of_fasting_in_any_order/
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Hunger phase: Oh my God I need to eat something. Iām so hungry. I canāt do this.
Casual Empty phase: You know? I feel fine. I feel great. I can totally do this. 24 hours? No big deal.
Doubt phase: Maybe I should recover? Iām not all that hungry, but I could try eating something. Christ, I miss peanut butter cups. I miss BEING ALIVE! Ugh, but skinny. Iād look so much better eating peanut butter cups with a tiny body.
Extreme Hunger phase: Iām dying. I feel my organs eating themselves. I didnāt shop for food and all I have is a tub of sour cream and onion cream cheese in my fridge. Itās been there for 6 months. Help.
Triumph Phase: What is hunger? Donāt know her. I bet I could go 48 hours. Blimey. Maybe even 72?? I donāt even need food.
Code Red phase: Expired cream cheese? Feast of the Gods. Where is my big serving spoon?
[Rant/Rave] DAE ever feel like the world is conspiring against you?
/u/Lairabel09 [175cm| 56kg| 17.98| Female]
Created: Wed Aug 1 15:07:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93t14o/dae_ever_feel_like_the_world_is_conspiring/
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It feels like all these stress factors seem to hit you at once and you don't even know where to fucking start?! I've got these two MAJOR exams coming up next month and I need to pass or I will finish my bachelors with 25 ...if I'm lucky.
Then there's this heatwave over germany and it makes me lazy and tired, I have been pms-ing HARD for a week now and to top it all off I'm a broke bitch! Aaaand I can't stop eating. I ate my entire kitchen. Shit's empty.
High restricting was my best friend but it seems like fasting is the only way to take back control over my weight (and magically my life as well~).
Wish me luck :(
[Rant/Rave] I just had 50 pieces of sugar-free gum
/u/netflixandnothing [156cm | CW: 57.9kg | GW: 50kg | WL 6.2kg | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 14:51:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93sw0x/i_just_had_50_pieces_of_sugarfree_gum/
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I've been low restricting the past couple of weeks and felt a binge coming on so I bought sugar-free gum for the sweet cravings.
CUT TO ME binge-chewing the entire container of gum.
Now I'm just waiting for the intestinal apocalypse to begin. RIP me.
[Discussion] Has anyone here developed an ED without ever being involved in diet culture?
/u/dontchaserabbits
Created: Wed Aug 1 14:41:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ssva/has_anyone_here_developed_an_ed_without_ever/
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As the title says.
[Rant/Rave] I just had an anxiety attack because of vending machines lol š
/u/BaoBeii
Created: Wed Aug 1 14:40:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ssc9/i_just_had_an_anxiety_attack_because_of_vending/
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Fuck my life lmao i just wanted a snack but i couldnāt see the calorie count on anything and the only vending machine that had diet soda was out of order so i ended up having to get one of those coconut water kickstarts and nothing to eat and now Iām freaking out over 60 calories because my brain is convinced liquid calories will instantly make me fat. why am i like this. i hate myself.
[Discussion] No binge day 3! How are you my gorgeous little beetles?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | CW: 60kg| GW: 58kg | UGW: 50kg | LW:56kg | 25F ]
Created: Wed Aug 1 14:36:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93sr7r/no_binge_day_3_how_are_you_my_gorgeous_little/
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Day 3! Feeling groovy. I thought I was being forced into takeaway on Saturday but I'm not! My family are going to a restaurant and I got out of it šš
I went to the gym and did a 8.5 hour shift today. Work and gym again tomorrow, but next week the road to the gym is closed for 3-10 days. Please pray for me :( I love the gym. It keeps me sane!
How are you? How did today go?
I'm insatiable today. And that's a good thing.
/u/NeverPerfectEnough [5' 9.5" | 135 | 19.7 | F | goal: dainty]
Created: Wed Aug 1 14:36:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93sr6m/im_insatiable_today_and_thats_a_good_thing/
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Fuck, my appetite is insane today. I'm glad I'm not at home, because my options are pretty limited at work. I had a pack of SF maple & brown sugar oatmeal that was in my desk pretty much as soon as i got in this morning. I had my lunch salad early. I hit the vending machine after lunch & got chips. Then ate a tiny bag of pretzels. I've had Powerade Zero, diet Dr. Pepper (also from the vending machine trip), four liters of water, and a giant cup of herbal tea. I'm already at 1000 calories for the day, so dinner is going to be a bowl of broccoli & sriracha or something. I'm also walking in place at my desk to burn some extra calories, because damage control.
I was getting SO frustrated, because honestly this is annoying. I've been doing well lately, high restricting while keeping up my workouts and also doing a good job at work and losing slowly but steadily. So today was really frustrating. Until it hit me - this is my body rebelling. Because what I'm doing is WORKING. My brain is freaking out & telling my body to panic, because it's using up reserve fat. And that gave me a much-needed morale boost.
So, if anyone else is having an Eat All The Things day, remember it's not the end of the world. If we make good choices today (or at least, during what's left of today because did you see my food list? haha) then we can start over tomorrow and continue making progress? idk, maybe I'm rambling. But if you're struggling with being extra hungry today, just remember it's a good thing in the long run. <3
[Other] Sure do hope my phantom infant niece enjoys all the food I bought her
/u/LLazarus732
Created: Wed Aug 1 14:02:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93sfzc/sure_do_hope_my_phantom_infant_niece_enjoys_all/
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https://i.imgur.com/Mb72MwT.jpg
[Discussion] What do you do when youāve fallen off the restriction wagon?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 14:01:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93sfoz/what_do_you_do_when_youve_fallen_off_the/
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A lot of big changes have happened in my life lately. I got my dream job last month, I just got a new apartment with my boyfriend and finally got my first car... and heaven knows Iām miserable right now. All I want is to be beautiful and *thin* and I canāt seem to make it happen, and my new place is covered in mirrors so I can never forget how much Iām failing. I used to be so good at restricting and fasting and working out and now Iām barely doing any of that, even though every morning I wake up with a plan on how to do it. So my question is- what do you guys do when youāre in this situation, where you still have all the disordered thoughts but youāre not even doing the actions that make it feel better?
i'm looking for a certain website!
/u/tiffbaby20
Created: Wed Aug 1 13:57:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93sefi/im_looking_for_a_certain_website/
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hey guys, i was on this sub a few days ago and i found a link to a website that i can't find anymore. you put in your height & weight & calorie intake and it'll tell you how much you should weigh each week. please help <3 love y'all
[Discussion] DAE understand this feeling?
/u/ewhelena
Created: Wed Aug 1 13:51:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93scjx/dae_understand_this_feeling/
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in shane dawson's video about jeffree star he mentions his ed around 24:30 and i literally felt psychic in that moment like i knew exactly what he was feeling down to a t, to the point that i felt uncomfortable bc of how well i understood it? i sound completely insane and tbh im only posting it here in the hopes that someone else feels the same so i don't feel completely mad
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] Parasites-also an FYI for salad lovers
/u/Goodmorningfatty [5'4" | CW: 120 | BMI: too big | WL: 25 | Fluid]
Created: Wed Aug 1 13:43:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93s9tl/rantrave_parasitesalso_an_fyi_for_salad_lovers/
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Hi everyone,
-
Iāve been sick for 3 days now, and it turns out that āFresh Expressā has recalled their bagged produce due to parasite contamination.
-
The good: My tummy spasms with massive cramps every time I eat anything thus: Iām eating even less than usual.
-
The bad: Nausea, massive diarrhea, hot and cold flashes, stinky nasty gas, general lethargy.
-
It takes 4 to 6 weeks for it to go away on its own, or you can go to the dr and get antibiotics.
-
So get different bagged salad if thatās your jam, cause itās miserable.
[Discussion] Mallory-Weiss Syndrome
/u/ballsdeeep699
Created: Wed Aug 1 13:37:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93s842/malloryweiss_syndrome/
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Anyone else get this? My throat hurts like HELL and Iām scared as shit of purging because of it š©š©
[Rant/Rave] Why do I never learn
/u/rowboatx
Created: Wed Aug 1 13:07:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ry8o/why_do_i_never_learn/
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Urgh guys I really messed up
I was feeling so good today, really confident and happy, took some bomb nudes that I looked so good and skinny in (not that Iāve got anyone to send them to). I was craving some McDonaldās and thought Iād treat myself to a wrap, except the regret kicked in while I was ordering and instead of changing my mind and leaving I ordered way too much food.
Iāve basically been binging all afternoon and I figured Iād just carry on and purge afterwards except...I canāt purge. Iāve literally NEVER been able to purge. I have this fear of throwing up that kicks in and I just end up gagging and then crying on the bathroom floor.
Youād think after all these years Iād learn not to binge and tell myself Iāll purge later if I physically canāt but every time I convince myself Iāll be able to do it this time
Guess itās restriction the next few days which sucks because I have a bunch of food that needs using up
(Also I went way too hard on leg day on Monday and I was in so much pain today that I could barely walk so I canāt even go to the gym and work some of it off which isnāt helping)
[Rant/Rave] Told my friend I wanted Chipotle, He told me to eat a salad
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Wed Aug 1 12:45:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93rr59/told_my_friend_i_wanted_chipotle_he_told_me_to/
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Haha idk how to feel. I feel good that heās helping me starve but i also really wanted some free guacamole. Oh well maybe Iāll go to chipotle and workout for 4 hours. Or eat a salad like he said.
[Rant/Rave] Almost had a DAMN heart attack today and its actually kind of funny
/u/AuBenseiter
Created: Wed Aug 1 12:42:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93rq67/almost_had_a_damn_heart_attack_today_and_its/
---
I work for a marketing software company, and some of our customers market use the tool to market penis pills and what not. One of them had a problem with a prospecting search (one of our features) which had search terms like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, etc. so I logged a bug ticket for that.
I also look at this sub a lot at work bc I get bored.
Joking, my boss was looking at my ticket while reviewing the bugs in the queue and he goes. 'Hey you've been looking at ED stuff?' and I was like OHHHH SHIT. He can see my internet history! And I almost had a damn heart attack. Turns out he was talking about Erectile Dysfunction. Relieved, I made a joke about how my penis doesn't work as well as it used to (I'm a cis-woman.) FUCK that was scary but also hilarious.
I just ate breakfast without binging after!
/u/shoeflygabs [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Wed Aug 1 12:16:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93rhmz/i_just_ate_breakfast_without_binging_after/
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I'm sure many of you can relate to that 'all or nothing' feeling you get after eating a small breakfast. It's never just 1 serving...
but today it was! The best part is I didn't beat myself over having eaten breakfast either. Now it's almost lunch time, and I'm sitting here with a nice tea and no stomach pains.
45 day crash restriction calories
/u/r0sehips
Created: Wed Aug 1 11:55:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93raso/45_day_crash_restriction_calories/
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Iām getting married on September 15 and then on to a beach honeymoon. I gained a bunch of stress weight graduating uni this last school year. I want to lose 20 lbs in 45 days. Thatās .44lb per DAY.
Can I do this if Iām committed? I have successfully lost 80 lbs in 8 months before. How far can you restrict without compromising gorgeous skin? I started out saying no more than 700kcal but I think itās not enough. I have a LOT of excess fat for my body to feed on right now. Sedentary lifestyle.
Any support and encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I just need to be an ethereal fairy again. š§āāļø āØ
Specific book recommendations
/u/NoArticle1
Created: Wed Aug 1 11:46:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93r7t7/specific_book_recommendations/
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I first read Wasted probably three years ago and since then it's been one of my favorites. Looking for books that are similar
Specifically I really enjoyed wasted because (a) there was no magic beacon of light at the end. The author alluded to being on a better path, but there was no redeeming ending where she found god, or was rescued by a man, or realized that she needed to appreciate the beauty in the world. The ending was very sobering and provided a much needed contrast to other books in the genre that end with the protagonist smiling
And also (b) it dealt a lot with the authors adult experience. I'm coming up on 30 and I can't deal with books about high schoolers. I can no longer empathize with high School drama etc, it just reminds me of a time when my illnesses were romanticized and made me seem mysterious and edgy to others, vs now in my late 20s when they're no longer alluring or enigmatic, they're just debilitating and awful.
Any recommendations for books that share these two elements - not necessarily ED related but just general mental illness - would be much appreciated
[Discussion] How do I do this?
/u/TossThisBizz
Created: Wed Aug 1 11:36:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93r49m/how_do_i_do_this/
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I donāt even fully know how to word this. Basically, as Iām getting closer to my goal Iām starting to think about my calorie intake. Currently Iāve been staying around 600-800 sometimes going above but barely ever above 1000. And itās been working. Iāve been losing weight according to the scale
Only thing is, I have like almost no energy and motivation to add exercise into the mix. I thought that when I get closer to my goal weight (who even knows if itāll feel good enough when/if I get there), I wanted to start eating 1200 calories a day and I guess try to work out more. But Iām scared. Iāve been eating below 1000 for so long it just feels like if I eat even a calorie over that Iāll gain. I know that I wonāt. Realistically I know that it doesnāt work that way. But I just canāt get past the disordered thought process
Has anyone else managed to eat higher than their restriction and been ok? And is it/was it hard to get through a mind set of āthis will make me gain. Itās more than I usually eatā? Or am I just being crazy :/
Does this even make any sense?
[Rant/Rave] Passed out in the bathroom at work.
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Wed Aug 1 11:22:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93qzrc/passed_out_in_the_bathroom_at_work/
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Luckily didn't smack down too hard and no one was around. Back at my desk now š¤· I fucking hate feeling this way all the time. This disease fucking sucks.
I think I have been wearing clothes all wrong.
/u/nihilistatari [5'2 | Too much | 21 | Not enough | Male]
Created: Wed Aug 1 11:16:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93qxov/i_think_i_have_been_wearing_clothes_all_wrong/
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Alright, so, I currently weigh about 114-118. I don't wanna weigh myself right now but I know I am in between these. For the past few months, I have only been able to wear one shirt because I feel I look really fat in anything else. However, I was scavenging my closet for something new to wear because I've felt kinda shitty about it, i'm 15 right now and I am currently on summer vacations so I have had no real incentive to change my attire but I started to feel a little dirty, and I found a kids medium Hey Arnold shirt. I really thought it would be too small and that I would have to rip it off immediately and put back on my regular 'safe' shirt, if you wish to call it that, but, no! I ended up fucking loving how I looked in this shirt. I of course want to lose weight, but, this is the perfect size for me right now. It makes me look as skinny as I can right now. My usual clothes that I don't wear are all adult mediums-larges, meanwhile, this kids medium fits me like a glove! I feel odd that I am just now discovering this.
high restrictors (who eat more than 1000 per day), what is your progress like?
/u/leopanthers
Created: Wed Aug 1 10:48:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93qo6k/high_restrictors_who_eat_more_than_1000_per_day/
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there's so much talk about low restriction on this sub, i'm curious about those who have higher restriction.
how much do you eat per day and how much do you exercise?
how much do you lose in a week?
how much have you lost since you started high restricting?
do you still binge?
does your intake vary a lot day to day or does it stay consistent?
did you ever low restrict? if so, why'd you stop?
(repost bc i'm a dumbass.)
[Help] tmi but constipated as heck and needing tips
/u/pistachiocreams [63"| 105.5 | -18 | F :pupper:]
Created: Wed Aug 1 10:41:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93qlwj/tmi_but_constipated_as_heck_and_needing_tips/
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iāve been fasting the past two days and somehow gained 2 lb ???? overnight. anyways i dont think iāve pooped in a week and yāall i need to. iām soo desperate to get down to like 102 lb by friday. right now iām 104.6.
i bought magnesium citrate pills at the store. how many should i take? iām also planning on eating rice and beans, halo top, and brussel sprouts tonight for about 700 calories. should i up my intake anymore/any food suggestions????
thanks in advance!!!
[Help] Tweaking on ephedrine?
/u/smallgrl
Created: Wed Aug 1 10:20:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93qf7w/tweaking_on_ephedrine/
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Iāve been experimenting with ec stacking the last couple weeks and idk what Iām doing wrong? It definitely helps with appetite control but whenever I take a bronkaid with my morning coffee, about 20 minutes later Iām tweaking out. Like everything feels faster and the dizziness gets a lot worse. The ratios Iām working with are 12.5 mg ephedrine to about two cups of coffee, so ~160 mg of caffeine. Does everyone who ec stacks feel strung out on crack? Or is it just me??
high restrictors (<1000 per day), what is your progress like?
/u/leopanthers
Created: Wed Aug 1 10:13:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93qcpo/high_restrictors_1000_per_day_what_is_your/
---
there's so much talk about low restriction on this sub, i'm curious about those who have higher restriction.
how much do you eat per day and how much do you exercise?
how much do you lose in a week?
do you still binge?
does your intake vary a lot day to day or does it stay consistent?
did you ever low restrict? if so, why'd you stop?
[Help] Advice on breaking a major binge cycle?
/u/ballsdeeep699
Created: Wed Aug 1 10:13:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93qcnd/advice_on_breaking_a_major_binge_cycle/
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I feel so uncomfortable and disgusting, especially because I shouldnāt be purging since I have blood clots. Even just a little advice would help. Thanks in advance š
Getting back on track after feeling depressed
/u/littlejanedoe- [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Wed Aug 1 10:11:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93qc4k/getting_back_on_track_after_feeling_depressed/
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I have put on 10lbs in two month. I am trying not to be so hard on myself because i know exactly how it happened. My dad passed away in June, he was young, it was sudden.. I was a mess.. So i stopped watching what i ate and going to the gym because I had no energy to function. I could get myself through work, caring for my kids (hardly), and making funeral arrangements... that was it. Here is the kicker i am getting married in September and i wanted to lose 7-10 lbs from when i first got my dress. I knew i could do it, then my dad passed and i forgot about my wedding/goals all together. So now i am just going to try and get rid of the 10lbs i gained and that is going to have to be enough. I wont be that fragile and delicate bride i always dreamed of being.. but i will be better than this.
I started the Master cleans yesterday and i know its only bodily waste and salt at this point but the scale has moved -3.6 lbs. So i am feeling motivated again and more like myself. I really don't know what the point of this post is other than to maybe get this off my chest but thanks for reading anyways.
[Rant/Rave] Became 47 kg again
/u/EternalVertigo
Created: Wed Aug 1 10:07:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93qav8/became_47_kg_again/
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Ah I'm a fat piece of shit. I'm 47 kg again...since I've a physical disability, I can't really do much exercise just walk, so my calorie limit is 600 but this past few week I've been eating like a pig, I guess 1000+ calories... Fuck this. I desperately want to be 45 kg š¢š¢
And then 40. And then 35. I'm so tired of having these disgusting bags of fat on my chest, so disgusted by my curvy body...
My simple recipe for Protein Bars
/u/VaguelyAmusedFairy [Height 5'5'| CW 138.6| GW 123 ]
Created: Wed Aug 1 10:03:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93q9f3/my_simple_recipe_for_protein_bars/
---
Been seeing quite a few posts about how gross Quest bars are and I agree, so I thought I'd share my recipe. We used to make these every week when my brother and I were both still swimming competitively and my mom was doing a lot of heavy weight lifting. They're filling, so it's an easy meal (or two) replacement.
Ingredients:
2 cups of Quick Oats
1 cup dried milk powder
2 scoops chocolate protein powder (whey)
Ā½ cup dried fruit (cranberries, Apricots, etc.)
Ā½ cup Peanut Butter
1 tsp vanilla extract
Ā½ cup -1 cup water (depending on Protein Powder)
Baking spray
Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl
Mix wet ingredients (vanilla, PB, water) in separate bowl and whisk together.
Pour wet mixture into dry ingredients and mix into batter. (Use hands for best results) Add more water if too dry.
Spray 8x8 inch pan and smooth batter evenly. Place in freezer for 1 hr.
Remove from freezer, cut and wrap individually and store in fridge.
Calories: Between 220-300 depending on what ingredients you use and how many pieces 12-16.
Happy August first!
/u/babybreathheart
Created: Wed Aug 1 09:40:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93q1zo/happy_august_first/
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I'm so elated that it's the first because it feels like a fresh start. Last month was really bad and I really want to do better this month. I'll probably weigh, meal prep and take all new progress pictures and measurements today. Along with just getting in a more stable routine, I want to work on drinking more water and having a more positive mindset. What are some of your goals for the month?
These constant thoughts!!!
/u/strawstring [5'10 | CW ugh | -40kg | 21F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 09:36:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93q0te/these_constant_thoughts/
---
As much as I try not to, all I can do is think about eating food, not eating food, cico, supplements, vitamins, nutrition, fitness, fasting, protein, healthy fats, daily steps, etc. etc. If it has to do with health/weight loss (including unhealthy weight loss) I'm obsessed. And I really do love the idea of a ~ healthy body healthy mind ~ I can't do that right now, I need to lose. But all of my thoughts are taken up with things like this. It's like I don't have room in my brain for anything else anymore. I calculate my tdee and bmi and how much I should eat so much that I know exactly, to the calorie, what intake will make me lose x by x date, and yet I still recalculate just in case.
The thoughts are a problem in and of themselves, but I know the obsession is also preventing me from doing better things with my life. Sorry if I sound annoying or no one can relate (although I think some of you might?) - I was born privileged, and I'm very aware and very grateful for this. My family isn't crazy wealthy and I wasn't a child prodigy, but my parents have always been supportive, I grew up in a nice middle class town, I was usually able to get by in school easily, and if I was ever in any real trouble, I know there would be someone to get me out of it. And here I am, given all this opportunity, just given things that people would kill to have, work all their lives to get, and all I can think about is food. I feel so guilty and disappointed in myself for not spending my time and energy on other things, on learning, on bettering myself, on making the absolute best out of what I have. I know that if I could stop this that there are so many things I could have done and could do in the future.
For me, that's the worst part. (That, and the loneliness and isolation that I bring on myself but is pushed further with the thoughts I guess) I kind of wanted just to vent, but if anyone has advice or a similar point of view to share, please!
Mortified at someoneās comment at grocery store
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 09:32:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93pzgz/mortified_at_someones_comment_at_grocery_store/
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Oh myyyy god. Iām trying really hard to have little or no calories today. I had time to kill before picking up a friend so I was wandering around the grocery store and saw that pickles were on sale. I love pickles because theyāre the only thing I can munch all day without feeling like Iāve eaten, if that makes sense? So I grab a jar and on the way out notice a bin of toothbrushes on sale for $2. I need a new one for work anyway so I grabbed that too. Get up to the counter and put them down and old guy in front of me LOUDLY goes āoh, pickles and a toothbrush? Thatās a weird combination, youāre not pregnant are ya??ā Now everyone is staring at me and Iām mumbling into the floor wanting to die being the most typical eating disordered human in the world. I paid and ran to my car and now Iām sitting here sadly eating pickles when I didnāt want to eat at all today and wondering when my heart rate will go back down lol fuck
[Rant/Rave] Pizza for dinner, stressing about it
/u/cafesitoconpan [5ā5ā | CW:145 | BMI: 24.4 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 09:20:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93pvu1/pizza_for_dinner_stressing_about_it/
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I ran 5 miles today and all Iāve had to eat today is a PB&J, besides multiple cups of coffee with sugar š¤ but the coffee helps suppress my appetite. However, Iām a guest at someoneās house and weāre having a movie night with pizza. The pizza is on its way and I donāt know if I should have one slice, but I feel like I should because Iām trying to only eat when other people see me so I they think Iām eating enough. Just worried this slice might start a binge? Right now Iām feeling strong, especially because I took some progress pics and they made me feel bad lol I definitely shouldnāt be having pizza. Idk what the point of this post was, just stressing out about unplanned food being sprung up on me and ruining the hard work I did today. Maybe I should just exercise a bunch before bed?
Donāt want to drink or have any fun till Iām 109lbs-105lbs
/u/diamaria93 [5'9 | 115 | 17.0| 52| F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 09:17:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93pusw/dont_want_to_drink_or_have_any_fun_till_im/
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So just finished a 56 hour fast right after my period 119lbs to 115lbs. My feed day was yesterday. Thankfully did not binge! But today boyfriend wants to go out drinking eating or do something fun. I legit told him Iām paranoid I just want to be 109lbs or 105lbs before I can think about āEnjoying Lifeā. He flipped out and said okay letās not do anything then! And tomorrow my bff and I are going to a meetup Iām in support of her and I making new friends but itās going to be triggering af seeing people eating and drinking while I just sip on a vodka soda and cry inwardly. Iām 5ā9 and 115lbs but i just feel Iāll be perfect back between 109lbs and 105lbs and I donāt want to deal with distractions from reaching that goal. Iām so damned close! But Iām risking damaging my relationship and friendships in the mean time. What would you do?
I said no to cake at work... and no one cared!
/u/misslakemountain
Created: Wed Aug 1 09:13:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ptem/i_said_no_to_cake_at_work_and_no_one_cared/
---
Today everyone at work was gathering in the cafeteria because - god help me - there was cake. We sit around a long table all facing each other, around ten people. I've managed to stick to only clean eating while restricting for several days so I already knew there was no way I would eat any cake. No matter how people persisted. To my surprise...despite every single person helping themselves to cake, when it was my turn and I said no thanks, no one questioned it! They just said: oh, okay. And went along with the conversation.
So lesson learned, no one cares about my eating habits as much as I think they do. Now I'm sat here with a nice feeling of physical emptiness hoping it will overpower my less pleasant feeling of mental emptiness, hah.
I bought cookies and didn't B/P
/u/Kitkat9229
Created: Wed Aug 1 09:01:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ppll/i_bought_cookies_and_didnt_bp/
---
I'm on mobile so please tag this as "rant/rave."
I've been craving vanilla cream cookies for the past couple of days but whenever I have these types of cravings I ignore them and get Halo Top. I've been trying to eat intuitively and a big part of it is listening to your body's cravings and respecting them. I'll admit when I first heard that my immediate reaction was that there was no way I'd listen to my cravings, because in the past I would B/P anytime I bought a fear food. So for the past 5 years, I've avoided buying anything I used to binge on. (Of course there have been a few times that I've broken this rule.)
So despite all of this, I decided to buy some cookies yesterday. I haven't been down the cookies/cracker aisle in a very long time and it felt so foreign to try to look at all of the options without judging them. But I picked 2 kinds that legitimately looked good to me. I brought them home, ate 2 and then I didn't B/P!!! I still restricted it down to 2, but I tried my best to not be mean to myself about buying and eating them and it went really well. So I guess I just have to keep taking little steps and maybe, just maybe, I can eat intuitively one day. :)
No idea what triggered this, but I love it.
/u/thr33-am
Created: Wed Aug 1 08:55:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93pntr/no_idea_what_triggered_this_but_i_love_it/
---
Litterally no idea what triggered me into it but I've been fasting and losing enough weight to notice that my clothing is too big (which is great! But also problematic bc how TF am I supposed to find pants w a waist smaller than a 26?)
I I dropped four pounds this time. I want five more off.
I don't know what brought me back here but I'm living for it. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm comfortable. I missed it. Even if I wasn't *eating normally* before, I feel like I'm actually restricting again.
[Help] Transitioning from Gluten-Free to Keto?
/u/travelers-unite [5'8" | CW:163 | GW:110 | ā]
Created: Wed Aug 1 08:52:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93pmxt/transitioning_from_glutenfree_to_keto/
---
Help!!!
Iāve been eating gluten-free for 5 years now (not by choice, Celiac) without (intentionally) breaking.
But Iād really like to transition to a keto diet. Iāve been eating <700/day but Iām still gaining weight, and I suspect that itās because the calories I do eat are mostly carbs.
Is there any way to ease the transition? Simple (GF) foods that lower the cravings of pasta and sweets? Normally I eat:
Breakfast: Nothing
Lunch: 7 Baby carrots + peanut butter OR one cup of popcorn (if I do eat)
Dinner: 2oz GF pasta + 1/3 cup tomato sauce
Iāve been steadily gaining weight and itās driving me crazy!!! It has to be the carbs, right?
[Help] Does anyone have any instagram recovery page recommendations?
/u/astra2018
Created: Wed Aug 1 08:49:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93pm71/does_anyone_have_any_instagram_recovery_page/
---
or any websites/ youtube channels or anything to help with recovery? thanks
Weighing more after going to the gym?
/u/worrxrrx
Created: Wed Aug 1 08:49:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ply1/weighing_more_after_going_to_the_gym/
---
So Iāve been restricting quite a lot, I donāt binge and Ive been really careful of how many calories Iām eating, usually 300-500. But Iāve also been going to the gym a lot and mainly just do cardio and some weights.
Iām nowhere near my goal weight yet, my BMI is 20 but Iāve been making progress to it.
However since Iāve been going to the gym again, I just noticed my weight stopped dropping even though I didnāt increase my calories or anything. Has that happened to anyone else?
[Other] Quest bars????
/u/shonamairead [5'6 | CW - 145lbs | GW - 120| -16lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 08:48:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93plte/quest_bars/
---
They taste like ass?? I bought 4 of the sāmores flavour because they were reduced online at Holland and barret and oh my god they taste so fucking bad I even microwaved one for 30 seconds and it still tasted bad
[Help] afraid of smoothies
/u/bigbeyoncefan
Created: Wed Aug 1 08:28:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93pfpl/afraid_of_smoothies/
---
I really miss making them and how they keep me full all day. I know theyāre low in calories Iām just scared of the amount of sugar they contain and if thatāll make me gain weight some how
[Help] I need to lose 7 pounds before school starts
/u/comrade_toastboy [Height | 116 | GW 110| UGW 105]
Created: Wed Aug 1 08:01:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93p790/i_need_to_lose_7_pounds_before_school_starts/
---
I know how Iām gonna do it, using OMAD. Iād just like to be a nice 110 for the start of a new school year.
[Help] Gaining weight while on my period and Iām freaking out about it.
/u/rainesaway
Created: Wed Aug 1 07:57:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93p6de/gaining_weight_while_on_my_period_and_im_freaking/
---
How do you guys deal with gaining weight while on your period ? I havenāt been eating over my calorie limit but Iāve gained two pounds and I canāt stop beating myself up over it. Thank you.
[Discussion] I ate one of my favorite foods (french fries) today, but felt nothing.
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Wed Aug 1 07:44:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93p2id/i_ate_one_of_my_favorite_foods_french_fries_today/
---
Havent had it for more than half a year and my love for it has almost gone. felt no pleasure and comfort feeling like i used to. i am used to eating healthy and low cal foods now.
do u guys still manage to feel pleasurable feelings when eating your favorite foods after stopping for so long?
Tried something new
/u/LittleLightFawn [5'5" | CW: 142 | SW: 149 | Lost: -7 | LW]
Created: Wed Aug 1 07:43:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93p2f4/tried_something_new/
---
So just now I chewed up an English Muffin and spat every mouthful into a little bag, then chugged a lukewarm mug of green tea so it sort of feels like I ate. Anyone else do this? Do you find it helps with food cravings?
I'm going to dispose of my gross baggie of chewed up muffin later in an outside bin when I walk my dog ĀÆ\\\_(ć)\_/ĀÆ
[Rant/Rave] Being Selfish for Being Unable to Work Out
/u/cerealprize
Created: Wed Aug 1 07:39:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93p1ak/being_selfish_for_being_unable_to_work_out/
---
My mother was recently put into the hospital and my grandma and my dad have been seeing her everyday. I can't do that since I'm working and whenever it's my day off they ask me if I want to go see her. I always work out on my days off because that's the only time I can but I can't when we spend all day at the hospital. I could say no but then I would be seen as heartless and selfish.
I've gained weight and my ED is making me panic so I planned to work out all day but now I'm being dragged into seeing her today. I'm honestly crying, from my ED and wishing I wasn't like this when it to social situations, especially with family. Working out was my alternative to abusing laxatives and now I'm afraid I might just take some out of desperation. I haven't been able to work out in a week and I'm freaking the fuck out.
How the fuck am I gaining weight
/u/comrade_toastboy [Height | 116 | GW 110| UGW 105]
Created: Wed Aug 1 07:14:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93oune/how_the_fuck_am_i_gaining_weight/
---
Iāve been eating less than my TDEE and yet Iām at 117 pounds. My goal is 110. I feel so upset cuz it means Iāll be trapped in this body for longer than I want. I hate everything.
[Rant/Rave] Have to eat normally today
/u/myotheroneforred [19F - Height 5'9| CW 120 | BMI 17.7| ]
Created: Wed Aug 1 07:09:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ot8t/have_to_eat_normally_today/
---
Last night I had to sleep at my grandmaās house to help her with some things. While I have been here, itās been hard to restrict. She was trying to feed me all day yesterday and I kept turning down the food. Well she got really suspicious, so today I have to eat somewhat normally. I ate oatmeal for breakfast which was 350 calories and sheās taking me to a Mexican restaurant for lunch. I feel like Iām gonna die cause I wonāt know the calories!! UGH );
[Rant/Rave] Why does one meal feel like a binge?
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Wed Aug 1 07:05:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93os53/why_does_one_meal_feel_like_a_binge/
---
I had a binge day yday, Iād planned it to happen so I was feeling okay. Woke up this morning intending to restrict and I seemed okayā¦ my mum was making some lunch and had put some on for me and I was like hell yeah this will be grand! Have some lunch with family. And now I feel my thighs so fat and feel disgusting uggggg itās horrible. I fucking hate this disorder!!!!!! I just want to be skinny and I hate that itās all I want. I have so much more in life that I want but all I focus on is becoming skinny and I fucking hate it
What do you guys do for energy/heart-rate when fasting?
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 06:52:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93oop7/what_do_you_guys_do_for_energyheartrate_when/
---
Iāve had a rough week and Iām going up to the cottage again for the long weekend this weekend - which I know means 3 days of drinking and eating. I keep spending all week trying to get back down to pre-cottage weight only to gain it all back. I finished my first university class yesterday and ended up having 3 beers and Iām just hating myself for all the calories lately...
I tried senna tea even and it did nothing to help anything along. So today Iām going to try and fast all day - which Iāve never done fully. However I teach, and find when I donāt eat my heart rate goes up really high and I feel like Iām panicking, so I eat to bring it back down. Do you guys have any tips to avoid this? ā¤ļø
[Tip] What are your best tips for dropping weight fast?
/u/confusedsooften
Created: Wed Aug 1 06:31:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ojdf/what_are_your_best_tips_for_dropping_weight_fast/
---
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 01, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 1 06:13:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93of0k/daily_food_diary_august_01_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 01, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday August 01, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 1 06:11:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93oeih/way_to_go_wednesday_august_01_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for August 01, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
When did you reach your breaking point?
/u/newforvevernever [5'6'' | CW 113.7 | GW 101 | WL 4 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 04:47:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93nw30/when_did_you_reach_your_breaking_point/
---
Taking this as it relates to your own situation, but what made you look at yourself, your food habits, everything, and go, enough is enough?
People at work have commented I lost my double chin!
/u/PHDinLurking
Created: Wed Aug 1 04:39:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93nuiq/people_at_work_have_commented_i_lost_my_double/
---
They also complimented that my face doesn't look bloated anymore. I didn't even fucking realize it looked like that. I was happy and mortified at the same time š IF has been working. Really happy about it
[Help] can someone please talk me out of a binge?
/u/isaezraa [165 | CW 55 | GW 50 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 04:28:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93nsej/can_someone_please_talk_me_out_of_a_binge/
---
its 8:25pm, ive just got to hold it off for an hour and ill have to go to bed (i have to wake up early tomorrow) ive already had 990 today, thats more than enough.
Provera (Hormone Replacement Therapy) Withdrawal
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 106 | GW: idk | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 04:13:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93npgx/provera_hormone_replacement_therapy_withdrawal/
---
This is just gonna be a bunch of words. My body is fucked. I havenāt had a period since October. My gyno gave me fake ass hormones to simulate a period and produce a bleed. Round 1 didnāt work. Iām on round 2 and holy fuck. Still no period. This medicine is fucking with my brain. Iām so depressed. Iāve been bingeing like a fucking starving animal for days. Iāve binged so much my body is in pain. It feels like every inch of skin is bruised. Iām supposed to go to the beach this weekend and on vacation in 3 weeks but instead I want to fucking die.
Anyway. Thanks for listening proED and for always being a safe place. I canāt say this shit anywhere else.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Attempting no alcohol for August
/u/Sidehothrowaway [f | 31 | 134lbs lost | GW US size 6]
Created: Wed Aug 1 04:12:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93npcf/rant_attempting_no_alcohol_for_august/
---
It's causing too many problems...again.
Been drinking a ton the past two months. Not necessarily a lot at once compared to what I used to drink, but drinking too much for my meds which leads to blacking out (or near blacking out) several days a week. That in turn leads to drunk food fest which leads to panic laxing the next day and heavier restricting. Aaaand the heavier restricting leads to more stress which leads to more drinking so pretty soon booze becomes dinner. I don't feel well at all and my body is literally screaming at me. Sometimes I can kind of figure out what the hell drunk me ate but most of the time I really have no clue. At this point I think half my weekly calories are from alcohol and the majority of my food calories are from drunk eating. Drinking on my medication is really not so great either and I get really confused and disoriented the next day.
I did so well only having a couple drinks one day a week for like 4 months earlier this year when I started this new treatment plan and I'd really like to get back to that point, so I'm going to dry out for August. Hopefully. My husband agreed to not drink either. It's so much easier when he doesn't buy his beer (he's been drinking more than usual too). I'm a wine and liquor gal, but any alcohol in general is a trigger. It will be nice to see the scale move more consistently again as well instead of the same 10lbs going on and off.
I know a lot of it is stress and its really starting to show. I did post about a customer saying I looked like I was on drugs and honestly i looked in the mirror yesterday and I kind of believe her. I really don't look well right now and I think it's the booze. My coloris really off, I look gaunt and weird but still chubby in places, my skin is breaking out but dry, andmy hair is crispy and falling out in chunks. Gotta get this sorted. Fall is my favorite season and I want to enjoy it. Summer sucked. If I can't eat like a normal person I can at least try not to kill myself any faster with other destructive behaviors, because if I keep doing what I'm currently doing in really not going to make it very long.
[Help] My body is doing weird things
/u/mittensmel
Created: Wed Aug 1 03:55:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93nm34/my_body_is_doing_weird_things/
---
I'm not underweight but my body is being weird and I don't know if I should be worried.
I take my temperature every morning to track my period cycles and it was 34.53 degrees celsius this morning (95.15 farenheit). My app won't even let me enter that because it's too low. I have lanugo.
Today I went to the gym and used the elliptical machine and both feet went numb after 15mins. My veins are sticking out everywhere. And my fingernails are purple all the time now.
Every time I eat anything I regurgitate a little bit and sometimes get stomach pains.
I just don't understand how this can be happening when I still have lots of fat to lose.
[Help] Electrolyte drinks?
/u/spyrothedaddy [5'4"|CW:116.6|F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 03:19:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93nfdp/electrolyte_drinks/
---
What are some drinks that stop you dying in the middle of a fast? Does lucozade zero work? I donāt think we have Gatorade in the UK.
[Help] trying to reach a GW by friday,,,,help please?
/u/pistachiocreams [63"| 105.5 | -18 | F :pupper:]
Created: Wed Aug 1 02:25:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93n5ja/trying_to_reach_a_gw_by_fridayhelp_please/
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for the past month, iāve been restricting (600-700) and fasting (40-72 hours, basically everytime i hit a plateau LOL) trying to get down to the lowest possible weight i can before i go on basically a month long vacation. its actually like three different trips, but considering theyāre each only 2-4 days apart i know i wonāt have time to lose weight between them. iāve been really looking forward to these trips all summer, so i donāt plan on restricting but want to be as skinny as possible beforehand so i can have a sort of āsafety blanketā.
heres the issue: my original GW was 103 lbs, which i actually hit last thursday (after fasting four days lmao). i plateaued over the weekend and started fasting monday again, broke it today because i actually GAINED. iām up to 104.6. i need encouragement and help. i want (lowkey need) to be 102 by friday morning. happy scale says my moving avg. is 101.8 lb as of this morning. any tips?? iām assuming its just water weight but idk :-/
I've been 77kg for months
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Wed Aug 1 02:01:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93n18n/ive_been_77kg_for_months/
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And I know it's my own fault. I know I'm letting myself down. I'm so ashamed and I don't have someone to talk to about it. I'm not disgusted with my body. I look at my progress pictures and understand I've lost weight, but I've been stuck for so long.
I just feel so weighted down by this need to lose the chub. 30ish days until it starts heating up and I can longer hide behind jumpers. I don't know what I'll do.
[Discussion] Does anyone else watch videos of people making food to make them feel less hungry?
/u/Moose--And--Squirrel
Created: Wed Aug 1 01:18:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93mt6o/does_anyone_else_watch_videos_of_people_making/
---
It's like I eat vicariously through them lol. I love the tastemade videos on their Snapchat story. They don't make me feel hungry at all. It's like it satisties the craving for me, especially with sweet foods.
[Discussion] Metamorphosis
/u/whatxever [5'2 | 122 | -29 | GW: 121 | UGW: 109 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 01:01:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93mppi/metamorphosis/
---
No, not the Hilary Duff song (ha ha ha).
DAE go through big, unprecedented changes in their ED? Not as in cycles of restricting/binging. Like times where you reach a new low (or high depending on how you look at it lol) that you never thought you would before via behavior that's not all that 'normal' to you/your ED.
For example, I just purged 4 nights in a row. I didn't even do it that often when I first began purging. I've never been a big purger. It was maaaybe at one point a weekly occurrence, but quickly only a monthly occurrence, and then a "idk how long it's been but it's been a long while & I just feel the need" once in a blue moon kinda thing. Oooor how I, out of nowhere, began heavily abusing laxatives last (and this) year when I had never done so before...in 6 years of this disorder. I even fasted for a whole week not that long ago and I haven't done something like that since 2012 (not for lack of trying)??
You think you know your limits or triggers or abilities and then it switches up on you. It makes it hard to know how to cope or deal because it's unpredictable...and you can't control chaos. Maddening, isn't it?
[Rant/Rave] hate people noticing my weightloss
/u/orkestrels
Created: Wed Aug 1 00:42:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93mlz0/hate_people_noticing_my_weightloss/
---
dae feel this way?
iāve lost a lot of weight. whenever my boyfriend comments on it - usually to reassure me about how i have lost weight and that i am not fat by any means - i really want to curl up and cry, because it just makes me embarrassed and depressed because i always think, āiām disgustingly fat now, and heās saying itās noticeable that i was even fatter before? what did he think? why didnāt anyone say anything?ā
i feel so horrible and stuck. if nobody noticed my weightloss, i would probably feel sad too, but itās like, idk.. even though i absolutely donāt want anyone to stop my disordered behavior, when people compliment me on it, i feel plenty sick too. like - if i were really never fat, like people say, then wouldnāt they be concerned instead of congratulatory about it? i feel like i could only stop if only someone said please, donāt do this to yourself! but at the same time, i donāt think anyone really sees how horrible i look, either.
[Tip] Habitica is an RPG-themed website/app that motivates you with game-like reinforcement!
/u/kpatable [5'9.5" | 134 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 1 00:40:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93mljz/habitica_is_an_rpgthemed_websiteapp_that/
---
This won't appeal to all of you, but I want to suggest it! I used this a lot in 2016 before I got too sick to check the site, and I really enjoyed it. It motivated ALL my goals and good habits, not just food/weight ones, and its game-like setup really jived with me. I made a new account tonight, and I'm excited! Check it out if you like RPG video games :D
Thigh gap doing disappearing act.. Then reappearing act!?
/u/30breakhorsepower
Created: Tue Jul 31 23:58:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93mctu/thigh_gap_doing_disappearing_act_then_reappearing/
---
Does anyone else notice fluctuations in there thigh area? Some days I will have a small gap and then the next day, or even the same day sometimes it closes up! Sometimes it stays like that for ages and sometimes it's less time - maybe 2 days and it's back without any real changes to my calorie consumption.
Does anyone else have this and/or any explanation for this?
[Help] Does anyone have trouble sleeping while eating very few calories?
/u/Moose--And--Squirrel
Created: Tue Jul 31 23:56:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93mchx/does_anyone_have_trouble_sleeping_while_eating/
---
I find it incredibly hard to sleep when I'm heavily restricting calories. I don't know if that's common or just me, just wondering.
[Rant/Rave] The fat kid
/u/Internet_Soup
Created: Tue Jul 31 23:43:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93m9oy/the_fat_kid/
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I have this dress that I wore in grade 8. When I wore that dress it felt pretty snug. Over the years I gained weight from depression until I hit a high weight. I lost a shit ton of weight because of my eating disorder. I wore that same dress today to see how it would look on me and it was really lose it wouldn't fit. But even when I see the dress on me and seeing that I've lost a lot of weight, why can't I process that information? that I really have lost weight !?!? Why do I feel like I look like a fatty? I feel like that same insecure girl in grade 8 who felt like she was that fattest kid in the world and would always cover her body.
It sucks but I'm really trying to feel better about my body despite what my head says.
just wanna let yāall know about this 40kcal bread i just found at walmart
/u/I-Slap-Cat-Butts [5ā9.25ā | -11.6 | lw 110 | gw 99 | 23f]
Created: Tue Jul 31 23:26:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93m5vb/just_wanna_let_yall_know_about_this_40kcal_bread/
---
https://i.redd.it/5vu5webh3fd11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] How do you deal with unwanted comments about your weight/weight loss?
/u/mellowyellowtop
Created: Tue Jul 31 23:20:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93m4h0/how_do_you_deal_with_unwanted_comments_about_your/
---
A couple of weeks ago, a person I would consider an acquaintance made a comment. They walk past me, and as they're leaving they say (in an almost sort of accusatory tone): "Hey you've gotten freakishly skinny". I kinda just said "Oh" and they left and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it yet.
I'm used to comments from my mom, but I can deal with those and I know she's not trying to hurt me. If other people make comments, it's usually polite or neutral and I just act like it's something unimportant. But this was just rude and made me feel like I'll never look good enough, even when I'm "freakishly" skinny. I wasn't sure what the point of it was? They didn't seemed worried or intrigued or anything. Just disgusted.
I don't know what to do, I didn't think I looked so bad, I actually felt good about my body before the comment. Am I just being too sensitive? Do you guys have a go to response or way that you deal with comments that other people make?
Are benzos the answer?
/u/MissFargo
Created: Tue Jul 31 22:46:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93lx1x/are_benzos_the_answer/
---
I have a meeting with my medication doctor tomorrow. I want to talk about how bad things have gotten with ed, but without a smug face. Itās hard to say Iām sorry looking down at skinny thighs. Iām so sad, and so proud.
I'm still orange, and I feel so ugly.
/u/newforvevernever [5'6'' | CW 113.7 | GW 101 | WL 4 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 22:34:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93lue8/im_still_orange_and_i_feel_so_ugly/
---
Laugh, if you need to, as I'm an often the jaded asshole who takes such tragic situations, especially about my unfortunate self, and turns them into black humor. Too many ribs against my dress? Check my early Halloween costume. Bad haircut? I'd rather risk it with my own scissors and YouTube than a non-recommended hairdresser. But if I'm being honest with myself, and not laughing at my relentless emptiness to hide the nothingness and utter depression I live with every agonizing moment (I'm dramatic, too...) fuck me and my shitty choices. I miss NOT having this orange-yellowish hue. Now, not only do I look in the mirror to gawk at my disgustingly enduring thighs, but I now have an uncommon hue, at least one that merits so many strangers to be worried for my safety ('Honey... You might be jaundiced...' What the actual fuck, even if I was, is that their business?) And it needn't be stated that my 'sunny' disposition is another disappointing side-effect of my won't-leave-me-be ED... I'm even uglier than I was before. I'm fucking orange. Drown me already.
had a bad binge episode and still feelin' hecka bloatedā¢ but i decided to do a side-by-side. i still have ways to go but it's nice to have objective proof of progress. :)
/u/biblicalirony [5'3 | cw: 174 | hw: 234 | lw: 170 | gw: 115 | 15f]
Created: Tue Jul 31 22:10:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93loih/had_a_bad_binge_episode_and_still_feelin_hecka/
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https://i.redd.it/ug63papzoed11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I binged 2000 cals today... which means I should eat 200 tomorrow to cancel it out, right? Right???
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Tue Jul 31 22:05:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93lnai/i_binged_2000_cals_today_which_means_i_should_eat/
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Ugh, I hate this. I wish I could stop overeating.
Weight gain working out?
/u/yemeyenkiz [5"6' | 125 lbs | BM I 20.83 | +25lbs |Female]
Created: Tue Jul 31 22:03:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93lmtc/weight_gain_working_out/
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Hi,
I've recently started getting back into working out to improve my relationship with my body. However, I'm gaining weight (I've only been working out for 3 weeks so it couldn't be muscle gain yet. I'm really disheartened because I want to keep working out but my brain is telling me to stop if it makes the scales go up. I have heard that if the exercise is strenuous (I'm doing gymnastics and wrestling) you can gain weight due to inflammation caused by tears in the muscle resulting in additional water weight. I was wondering if anyone else has experience with this? and how much they gained, and for how long (I was 54 kg up to nearly 56 :c). I am eating a little bit more than usual, I now have a banana before each workout but apart from that I'm eating the same amount as always (I hope).
[Help] Iām in so much pain. Help.
/u/Shadeofthings
Created: Tue Jul 31 21:44:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93lhux/im_in_so_much_pain_help/
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Iām in so much pain in my knees. I almost wanna ask my mom to take me to the hospital because I tried to stand up and my knees just locked up. I know I canāt ask for help though because Iām too fat so nobody cares but I feel so horrible. Has this happened to anyone else? What did you do?
Just did a 24 hour fast for the first time in my life!
/u/nihilistatari [5'2 | Too much | 21 | Not enough | Male]
Created: Tue Jul 31 21:32:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93lesc/just_did_a_24_hour_fast_for_the_first_time_in_my/
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Every. single. fucking. time I try fasting, I always fail. Always. I always either just trying eating a little but then I end up going over 1k and it's just.. bad. However, I finally did it today. It has been exactly 24 hours since I last ate something! I mainly just slept the entire day because my sleep schedule sucks so I just slept the entire day after staying up all night.
I don't know what to do now, though, because I'm gonna be up all night and I am really, really hungry and I don't want to binge. What do I do?
Oh my god these little vegan kids at work make me want to die
/u/blazeroftrails
Created: Tue Jul 31 21:20:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93lbom/oh_my_god_these_little_vegan_kids_at_work_make_me/
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So I try to be vegan myself usually but this morning I hadnāt eaten in like 36 hours and I was at work and dying so I go into the kitchen and get a 90 calorie rice crispy treat, walk out into the main room, and they start telling me all about how rice crispy treats are made of marshmallows which have gelatin in them which is CRUSHED ANIMAL BONES. I went back into the kitchen and deadass almost started crying, I just wanted to enjoy the only thing Iād eaten in a day and a half and I was already feeling so guilty because I knew it wasnāt vegan and they just had to fucking ruin it. I threw the rest away :/
[Help] Iām sorry I failed
/u/amirs082
Created: Tue Jul 31 21:15:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ladx/im_sorry_i_failed/
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https://i.imgur.com/QpeRX6b.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Had my first public comment yesterday
/u/its_freaking_bats [5'7" | CW 125 | BMI 19.6 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 21:11:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93l9hf/had_my_first_public_comment_yesterday/
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Yesterday I was at the grocery store in the middle of picking up food for a binge. It honesfly wasnt that much binge food because I had take out that i had ordered at home. I had 2 chocolate bars and thats it. I also picked up 2 packs of sugar free jello mix and 2 pints of blue berries. I was at the checkout and this older Indian man in front of me looked at my food on the belt and said āWell then. Half and half.ā I said, āPardon?ā And he replied āHalf good for you, half not so good for youā and I wanted to die.
I logically know he didnāt mean to be rude but I felt like complete shit because it means people are noticing what I buy and Iām super self conscious when Iām out on a binge run getting junk food.
Ugh
Upset over my BF throwing away food :/
/u/TygarRawrs [5' 5.5" | CW: 105 lbs | GW: 100 lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 31 21:11:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93l9bd/upset_over_my_bf_throwing_away_food/
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My boyfriend made a tofu scramble but didn't measure out the calories of each ingredient so I refused to eat it and I just found out that instead of eating it himself, he just tossed the entire thing.
Idk I'm just so upset. I feel like crying and throwing a tantrum.
I'm trying to reduce my food waste. And in addition, I bought the all ingredients and he was using my electricity to cook it.
I don't get why I'm so upset cuz I don't really have a reason to be. I'm the one who freaked out over possibly eating smthg idk exact calories for.
Just. idk man.
Why did you throw it away instead of eat it yourself. Idgi. If it's not good enough for you why is it good enough for me.
Want to get better, but I absolutely DONT want to get better
/u/no_worms_onthebed
Created: Tue Jul 31 20:53:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93l4sw/want_to_get_better_but_i_absolutely_dont_want_to/
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Know what I mean?
Iāve been in a weird spiral lately. Like I do really well and have a 1000+ calorie deficit at the end of the day, and then today I feel like a fat fucking monster because I ate like trash. Still under my 1800 limit (hopefully I counted right) but itās right up against it. Damn it.
I go to the gym and stuff so I can get rid of the calories, but Iām too tired because I donāt eat. And then I donāt eat because Iām too tired to work out. Thank god my bf and I have a scheduled thing every other day but I feel like a failure when I donāt go...
And today I bought laxatives for the second time in a month because I canāt for the life of me take a normal shit (and because I miss being empty). I want to be able to eat normally and not have a god damn breakdown every time I eat something I didnāt plan. I wish I could just stop worrying about it. But Iām so scared that if I just stop worrying, Iāll balloon up like fucking Violet Beauregard in Willy Wonka. The fear of losing control is overwhelming. Especially on a day like today when I ate a bunch of delicious shit that I wasnāt supposed to eat. I wouldnāt eat Reeseās and a fucking Chinese pastry thingy in the same day usually. But today I did. Fuck. Time to destroy my insides! š
Anyway, this was kind of a rant, but thanks for reading it
I gained 6 pounds in 4 days??!!
/u/im-nobody-too [CW: 116 lbs| GW: Maintain don't gain|26f]
Created: Tue Jul 31 20:45:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93l2rq/i_gained_6_pounds_in_4_days/
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I went on vacation for four days. Didn't count calories, but it felt like I ate around my normal amount of 1500-ish a day. Got home, went right to the scale and I'VE GAINED SO MUCH WEIGHT!!!!!
Yeah, I know it's probably mostly bloating and will drop back off quickly, but still freaking out here and feeling so gross!
[Rant/Rave] Had an assessment for IOP today. Treatment Rant Ahead.
/u/TreatmentTime [5'9 | 132 | 19.5 | -34.2]
Created: Tue Jul 31 20:38:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93l11t/had_an_assessment_for_iop_today_treatment_rant/
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My therapist and doctor have been imploring me to consider trying outpatient ED
treatment for a couple months now. I was initially very reluctant, but a
combination of medication changes and a series of increasingly poor labs (treat
your kidneys right, yo!) convinced me that *maybe*, just *maybe* I wasn't doing
as well as I thought I was.
Though I've been cutting back pretty drastically on purging and curbed how
quickly I was losing weight, it hasn't stopped by any means, and the combination
of compensatory fluid restriction and new medication have made postural changes
an adventure.
Still, I was convinced that all I needed was a teensy tune up ā a few weeks of
IOP and I'd be back to being happy and healthy. Dreams of sticking to a meal
plan for a little bit, finally kicking the B/P habit that's haunted me for the
last few years, and still hitting my UGW before autumn danced through my head.
Well, apparently the clinical team and I have very different definitions of what
constitutes suitability for outpatient. Even without reviewing labs or an EKG,
neither of which are quite as good as they should be, they won't
consider anything less than PHP and recommended a few weeks back in res to
"kickstart the recovery process".
I am so fucking sick of treatment teams pushing people who are not medically
compromised into higher levels of care. There's an increasing body of research
that indicates the less restrictive treatment actually creates better outcomes
for long-term ED sufferers. I am doing *everything* right with my current team
when it comes to reducing the frequency and severity of B/P and SH behaviours,
and I feel like there was zero credit given to that in the assessment. They look
at your chart, see your history and weight loss (even if it's at a perfectly
healthy rate!) and that's it - back to res for you; don't forget to pack your
unelasticated sweatpants, pocketless sweaters, and adult colouring books!
I want to get better, I do. I've lived with this, in one form or another, for
over half my life now. But I want to do it at my own pace, in my own
environment. I don't want to weight restore and be the perfect model of a 75th
percentile adult woman who eats three proteins and two fats and a starch three
times a day and snacks in between. I don't want to "love my body" -- I was
raised an athlete, and it's not realistic to say that people can compete at any
size; let me learn to fuel myself while doing the sports that I love and
incorporate more than Cheeto Curls (fear foods!!!) as exercise. Why is
compromise so hard to accept?
[Other] A friend of mine took this picture of me today. I hit my goal size of 0-2 about a month or two ago. I think I look a bit chubby still in this pic, but that might be the dysmorphia talking. I like my jawline now though, no more double chin for me! šš
/u/Derpy_Purple
Created: Tue Jul 31 20:32:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93kzf0/a_friend_of_mine_took_this_picture_of_me_today_i/
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https://i.redd.it/31b64tcd8ed11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Are you kIDDING ME
/u/CrushedOats
Created: Tue Jul 31 20:31:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93kz1z/are_you_kidding_me/
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https://i.redd.it/pfk40f758ed11.jpg
Post-breakup binge
/u/LLazarus732
Created: Tue Jul 31 20:20:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93kw7u/postbreakup_binge/
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I cannot stop binging.
Iām so sad and itās the only thing I want to do that makes me feel better. I donāt know what to do and I donāt know how to stop but itās been a week straight and I was sucking at restricting even before this lately and I donāt know why.
Please help me stop. My heart hurts so much already and now I feel so fat and out of control on top of it. Literally any tips would be so so appreciated. Right now Iām lying in bed in absolute agony feeling like my stomach is going to rupture and I still feel empty, I canāt take it anymore.
[Rant/Rave] problem w high restricting
/u/sweaterbug
Created: Tue Jul 31 20:07:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93kt18/problem_w_high_restricting/
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ive been working really hard to keep my intake under 800 calories, and i was happy about how well i was going cos i feel a lot better since starting restricting. but yesterday my dad brought up my ED (i used to weigh/eat a lot less than i do now before i went to treatment) and told me he's glad i eat "more than enough". i dont know why but this affected me. i don't eat that much!!! he was just saying that because i ate a 400kcal meal w/him. i had only eaten 250 kcal for the rest of the day. i know it isnt logical but i wish he was more considerate about me - just because my psych signed off on my recovery doesnt mean he can go back to making comments about my body.
ā¤ sry for the rant haha. does anyone else who high restricts have this problem? i hate when ppl tell me i'm eating a lot when they don't know the whole story.
What time of the day do you eat?
/u/leopanthers
Created: Tue Jul 31 20:03:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93krvk/what_time_of_the_day_do_you_eat/
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I've had an ED for years, but the older i get, the more strain restricting seems to put on my body. I've been <1000 for about a week and I feel positively h o r r i b l e. I can handle it physically, but it's affecting me so much mentally (irritable, depressed, quick to anger, basically just makes all my mental illness symptoms x1000 worse) that i don't know if i can take it anymore.
i can't think of what's different now and in the past when i've restricted <800 for over a month without bingeing except my age and the fact that i might be waiting til later in the day to eat. lately i haven't been eating until about 7pm, and i'm wondering if maybe eating earlier in the day would make me feel less shitty.
so: how much do you eat per day and WHEN do you eat it? if you eat earlier in the day, how do you avoid bingeing later on? (i'm a night eater which is normally why i fast til the evening). do you find it to be better for your energy levels to eat earlier? do you eat throughout the day to keep energy up?
My Girlfriend has Anorexia, what should I know?
/u/BreachWarden
Created: Tue Jul 31 19:33:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93kk3j/my_girlfriend_has_anorexia_what_should_i_know/
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She's had it since before we met, and she says it's not strong enough to make her skeletal. Doctors wouldn't diagnose her, either. I try to get her to break free of it, but I know nothing, and she insists she can't. She's been this way most her life.
So I guess I want to know how to live with that part of her? How do I handle the topic, or the way she lives by it. I don't want to help her live by anorexia, but it's clear I can't do anything to stop it. What should I know?
[Rant/Rave] Just me ranting
/u/anxiety-and-theatre
Created: Tue Jul 31 19:32:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93kjpf/just_me_ranting/
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Honestly the thing that fucks me up about having an ED is that this isnāt a phase Iāll grow out of. This is just my life now, Iāll forever remember how I was bulimic in high school and Iāll grow up and wonāt ever be able to shut off that voice I spent 4 years listening to. I will still look at a glass of milk and be like ā130 calories-should I drink itā and itāll be up to me to say yes no matter how much my mind wants to say no.
This isnāt something Iāll be able to shrug off in the future. It sucks knowing youāve passed the point of no return long ago and now you have to live with the choices you made as an idiotic 12 year old
[Discussion] DAE chew the inside of their mouth when theyāre restricting heavily?
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Tue Jul 31 19:23:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93kh5d/dae_chew_the_inside_of_their_mouth_when_theyre/
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Iāve been restricting off and on for years and Iāve always chewed on the inside of my cheeks. I donāt usually realize it until my mouth starts bleeding. Guess Iām chewing unconsciously.
Does anyone else do this?
[Discussion] Do you think itāll ever stop?
/u/drowing_dancer
Created: Tue Jul 31 18:57:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93kaib/do_you_think_itll_ever_stop/
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Iāve heard some people say that it is possible to completely recover and others say that even if youāre ārecoveredā that you still have to fight everyday. What do you think? Personally, Iām about 8 years into this and I donāt know if Iām ever not going to be able to think the way I do.
Also Iāve been lurking on this board on and off on different accounts for a while, it felt like it was time to finally post. Probably because Iāve been feeling really alone in this lately.
Should I make and eat dinner tonight?
/u/IdidntChooseThis [5'11| CW: 124 | LW: 116 lb]
Created: Tue Jul 31 18:54:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93k9pd/should_i_make_and_eat_dinner_tonight/
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I'm not supposed to be losing weight. I don't really want to lose weight, and I don't want to eat, and I like the feeling of an empty stomach and my Juul, but I also hate the feeling of an empty stomach and my mind screaming at me to both eat dinner and not. It's like two different demons and one is obviously more healthy than the other, but I never know which to listen to. I want to be thinner, but I also want my breasts and butt to be feminine and nice. Why can't food be stored there and not in my thighs and tummy? If I had better breasts and a better butt I'd eat all damn day as long as I could still count my ribs and feel my collarbone when I'm nervous.
Oh, the woes of being a tgirl with an eating disorder. Do I eat to look feminine or do I not eat because I hate my body and want to punish it and myself for being physically repulsive. I wish I could go back in time and slap myself in that horrid freshman cafeteria to not mind those girls laughing at me because I was eating by myself and looking like a boy with breasts who was too confused to know what she should do besides stop going to the cafeteria and providing my body with the nutrients she needs.
Thought y'all could relate.
It's a one pan stir fry that I bought at aldi, it's actually pretty good, but then again you can get girl scout cookie (knockoffs but exactly the same) for 94 cents and of course I ate most of it yesterday and polished it off for breakfast. Then I ate three small slices of pizza for lunch. So I guess I've eaten enough even if I don't eat tonight, but I usually eat dinner and my body is accustomed to it.
So is it stirfry or tea and nicotine for dinner?
^^^Fuck ^^^eating ^^^disorders
Vegan Keto day 2- My scale broke and I freaked out.
/u/linedryonly [5'5"ā| CW 133 | SW 145 | LW 102 | GW 110]
Created: Tue Jul 31 18:47:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93k7pn/vegan_keto_day_2_my_scale_broke_and_i_freaked_out/
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Day two wasn't too bad to start. I felt a little feverish and irritable, but nothing unmanageable . Overall, I was feeling pretty good!
But then I went to weigh myself and my scale battery died:'''( I didn't get to see my weight loss from day one and I started freaking out. Something just snapped and I had a mini binge on sugar free candies and almond butter. Still under maintenance calories for the day and under 50g carbs, but I'm so mad at myself.
Anybody REALLY happy tomorrow is the beginning of August?
/u/blazeroftrails
Created: Tue Jul 31 18:42:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93k68u/anybody_really_happy_tomorrow_is_the_beginning_of/
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Fresh starts man. Hereās to a binge free August where I go under 110.
Weird habits with safe foods?
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Tue Jul 31 18:41:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93k606/weird_habits_with_safe_foods/
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I have a very limited number of safe foods but there is one consistent thing that I do with all of them, which is is slice them paper thin with a mandelin slicer. I have no idea why (maybe because that way they take longer to eat? Feels like i'm cooking??) Any one else do this or have any other weird behaviors with the prep of your safe foods?
[Rant/Rave] I hate my body and I canāt escape it
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Tue Jul 31 18:40:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93k5vh/i_hate_my_body_and_i_cant_escape_it/
---
I feel like itāll be impossible to get to my goal weight 110, even though Iām only 6 pounds away. I do well with restricting during the day and fuck it all up at night.
[Rant/Rave] feeling childlike
/u/AgreeableReplacement [22Fš5'8š~100lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 31 18:35:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93k4g3/feeling_childlike/
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im a self sufficient adult and i dont think id want to go back to being a kid but the past while ive noticed a strange childlike shift in my behaviour.
for example i get easily overwhelmed watching the news and talking about unfortunate realities with my SO. my attention span has become really short, im no longer interested in reading even though i used to love it. i dont care much about looking pretty/feminine anymore and feel gross about being desired by others. ive taken up hobbies i used to like as a youngin like artsy projects, video games, and watching simpsons reruns and pointless youtube videos. also ive become very avoidant of responsibilities and end up procrastinating all the time.
idk if this is all due to my hormones no longer functioning properly or what. i feel so weird and immature :/
[Rant/Rave] breakfast AND lunch tomorrow = high pressure situation.
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1.5" | CW202.4 | BMI38 | -18 | 22M]
Created: Tue Jul 31 18:35:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93k4du/breakfast_and_lunch_tomorrow_high_pressure/
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so tomorrow and the next day, I get to meet the people that will be training me at work over the next 6-8 weeks. over FREE BREAKFAST AND LUNCH, with UNKNOWN CALORIE COUNT. the last thing I want to do is seem odd or stressed to these people; I need to make an excellent impression because the department I want has 3 spots. and almost all the people (12 or so) in our group want those spots. I wish I could be judged on my professional merit alone; but no. I will be eating two meals with these people. over one of the next two days. please, send me all the good vibes you have; I'm in a full-on low restriction mode. On the bright side, all my work clothes are too big for me, so I'll also look like a trash bag!
checking out books at my school about eating disorders?
/u/biblicalirony [5'3 | cw: 174 | hw: 234 | lw: 170 | gw: 115 | 15f]
Created: Tue Jul 31 18:34:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93k45x/checking_out_books_at_my_school_about_eating/
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i was looking at a thread from a few hours ago about eating disorder-related novels people recommended. i checked the online library catalogue at my school and it just so happens that some of the books are available there! i'd love to check them out once the school year starts back up again but i'm kind of scared -- in part because i don't want to be judged by whichever librarian checks the books out for me but what's the likelihood that this could be used against me?.. probably super unlikely and i doubt anyone would care enough if they noticed anything but i'm a school where although it's not small, it's easy for people to recognize familiar faces and if anything were to happen, i'd rather not have my checking out 5 books about eating disorders be used against me. i've had a history of weight loss in the past and have lost even more weight this summer and i don't plan on stopping once the school year starts but i'd really rather not have people notice about what i eat let alone whether or not i eat at all. there's a service in my school called "outreach" where if you're concerned about a friend, you can express your concerns to one of the counselors and they'll take action. i've already had a friend do that for me for other reasons and that aside, there's already a counselor at my school who i used to meet with who already knows i have a history with self-harm and just a generally *really* low self-esteem so if there were any red flags, i'd rather not have the books become an issue.
sorry if this reeks of paranoia but i was wondering if anyone had any advice?
In-laws put olive oil on EVERYTHING.
/u/CollarbonesCandybars
Created: Tue Jul 31 18:09:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93jxed/inlaws_put_olive_oil_on_everything/
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So, I live with my in-laws. I try to avoid eating their cooking as much as possible, but sometimes it causes too much pissiness among them. So I have to partake occasionally to keep the peace.
My brother-in-law cooks alot of boneless skinless chicken breast, which would be safe if he didn't put a TON of olive oil in the pan before baking it. Does anyone know how much of the oil it actually absorbs? Like, if i "dry" off the meat as much as possible, am I still getting alot of oil calories?
[Rant/Rave] my cat made me cry
/u/throwawayjhs0218 [5'2 | HW: 222 | CW: 219 | GW: 105 | 15/F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 17:47:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93jron/my_cat_made_me_cry/
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i went over my calorie limit today and i was feeling pretty bad about it but then my cat jellybean came in and curled up on my lap. it was so sweet because he usually isn't much of a lapcat. he's still really sweet and affectionate but usually he'll just meow at me when i walk in the room, rub against my legs, knead etc etc, so when he jumped up on my lap i cried lol. he's really helped with my depression and anxiety ever since i adopted him and i just love him so much it hurts
[cat tax](http://i.imgur.com/aQ7fzjJ.jpg) ft. his [curly tail](http://i.imgur.com/aTbOZJD.jpg) bc i think it's adorable
Most articles i read about CICO bash it
/u/tinygrl22 [5'1 | CW: 107lbs | 20.2 | 19F |]
Created: Tue Jul 31 17:32:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93jnh8/most_articles_i_read_about_cico_bash_it/
---
I literally typed in "CICO science" and the first few results that came up were pro CICO and most of the others had titles like "why the CICO diet is hopeless" or why the science behind it is irrelevant and why it doesn't work. Every time I want to lose weight I always use myfitnesspal and stay under the calorie goal and it always works. But still every time I read something saying it doesn't work, or hear my family talking about how it doesn't work, discourages me, even though I've literally seen it work.
[Rant/Rave] Any food I put in my mouth is disgusting.
/u/bboombbboom
Created: Tue Jul 31 17:29:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93jmdh/any_food_i_put_in_my_mouth_is_disgusting/
---
The texture. The taste. The way it mushes around in my mouth when I chew. The food going down my esophagus. Itās repulsing.
I havenāt been able to eat for a few days because of it. All I can down is water, coffee and diet soda.
[Help] Gained weight, freaking out
/u/vctrlcs [5'7" | CW: 128 | BMI: 19.9 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 17:28:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93jm9m/gained_weight_freaking_out/
---
flair is not accurate, im 132.5 lbs today. i was losing steadily for a while then had a really stressful week where i let myself eat whatever & now i cant seem to lose again. i feel fat and disgusting and most of all like a failure.
i could just really use some support right now. thank u all <3
I told my new boyfriend about my history with ED last night and I think Iām going to relapse
/u/SlightWasabi
Created: Tue Jul 31 17:11:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93jhkm/i_told_my_new_boyfriend_about_my_history_with_ed/
---
But Iām okay with it.
I never really got to the point where I was underweight because I would fast and then b/p and then binge on and off. So it ended up evening out and I think my lowest weight was only like 145 (5ā6ā). I redownloaded myfitnesspal and Iāve found myself thinking about how if I never stopped in the first place, I would weigh so much more than I do now.
I donāt really know what else to type but I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest? Idk. Obviously this is my second account because he knows my main.
Introducing myself
/u/trappedindepression
Created: Tue Jul 31 17:08:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93jgnj/introducing_myself/
---
Hello I'm Jasmine. I am 25. I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I've struggled with my weight and appearance since I was 15. I really think I might have EDNOS. I have been restricting on and off since high school and I've struggled with binge eating. My family always pushes me to eat food and my sister makes mean comments about me not finishing my dinner. I am really afraid of talking to my psychiatrist about these things. I don't want to get sent to a hospital or forced to eat food. I just need someone to talk to?
Any other really good Ed related novels?
/u/Gingervais
Created: Tue Jul 31 17:07:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93jge3/any_other_really_good_ed_related_novels/
---
Iāve read Wintergirls, Unbearable Lightness and Mad Girl, which I really enjoyed. Has anyone read any other good ones?
Cold?
/u/AquaMarineLife
Created: Tue Jul 31 16:55:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93jcr8/cold/
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Iām doing about 250 calories per day. Why am I so cold all the time?
Told my boyfriend about my disordered eating. Instant regret.
/u/postrevolutionism [5'7" | 273 | 42.3 | 16 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 16:32:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93j64i/told_my_boyfriend_about_my_disordered_eating/
---
Apologies in advance for how long this'll probably be....
So yesterday was a horrible mental health day overall and I really had a hard time. I was crying and talking about it to my boyfriend (over text, which maybe that was the problem?) and ended up saying how I was getting really nervous for this weekend.
For context, this Friday is his birthday and my parents are taking us out to a BBQ place for it (so an insane amount of food) with cake after (help me pls), then I'm taking him out to dinner the next day, and we have a baseball game the next day. I'm freaking out over all the social eating that involves and tried telling him about this.
I described my disordered eating without using those words. Maybe I can't actually be upset about this because of that. But basically I said I won't eat for a period of time and then I've overeat and binge (the language I actually used) and how it stresses me out not being able to control that.
He didn't really understand it. He thought it wasn't a big deal and that it "balances out". I'm not so upset with him for saying that, it's just that this is the one thing I feel like I can't share with him and I finally did and now he just doesn't seem to get why this causes me so much pain. Ugh. I probably don't even have a right to be stressed or upset over this, but I am. I feel so lonely and isolated from people irl about my ED and am so tired of the fact that this is the one place I have to talk about things. Sometimes you just need a human connection, you know?
**TL;DR:** Told boyfriend about my disordered eating and he doesn't get why I'm upset about it. Kill me.
[Discussion] Weirdest binge food?
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 16:28:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93j4ut/weirdest_binge_food/
---
I just woke up from a nap and proceeded to eat half a loaf of presliced white bread that i dipped in RANCH. Literally a food Iāve never binged in a weird combo.
What about you?
[Rant/Rave] Saw a friend for the first time since weight loss..
/u/speedayyyy
Created: Tue Jul 31 16:22:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93j3bp/saw_a_friend_for_the_first_time_since_weight_loss/
---
Iāve lost about 25 pounds in the past month. I was pretty fat before and still feel super fat. Today we went for a 3 mile walk after not seeing each other for a few weeks and her first comment was how good I look (ED fuel!!!). Then she said that itās not healthy to lose as much weight as I did as quickly as I did and asked if how Iām doing it/am I doing it the healthy way. Of course I just said oh no Im exercising more and I cut out beer šš» didnāt want a lecture about how Iām damaging my body. People donāt seem to understand that I donāt care if Iām hurting myself, that I want to be skinny and will do whatever it takes.
Tw: BED/Restricting struggles
/u/ellopine
Created: Tue Jul 31 16:13:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93j0ec/tw_bedrestricting_struggles/
---
Okay so Iāve struggled heavy restriction the past two years - more extreme the first year, but now mostly recovered from the restrictive aspect of my disorder. But within the past year Iāve developed a serious bingeing issue, which has led to occasional purging (maybe a couple times a week), and I just feel truly trapped. I still have a strong desire to lose weight, and feel seriously ugly and downhearted knowing Iām heavier again. Although the desire isnāt as strong as it was when I first started restricting, enabling me to lose the weight in the first place, and irrational as it may be, I feel like I fail at recovering yet fail to be truly disordered too.These feelings lead to further bingeing, which induces purging, and so on to restricting the next day, which in turn only prompts me to binge at night again. I just want to lose weight and feel good about myself again (because honestly, I really did feel good and confident when I was lighter, I just feel like it suited my face and personality so much better, as vain a thought as this is) and not feel the urge to screw myself over with food every day. I hate that this is still an issue that Iām consistently reminded of - either when I grow hungry, or other people are eating, or just the fact that food is a very very regular and necessary part of life, itās just an inescapable constant reminder of how trapped I am with this.
I suppose Iām not really looking for advice (although of course, it is very very welcome!) - I feel like you couldnāt tell me anything I havenāt heard before - but a place to vent is what I came for, somewhere I can let the story of this burden out to people who truly understand where Iām coming from. Thanks for reading guys :)
How do you manage your ED at work?
/u/newforvevernever [5'6'' | CW 113.7 | GW 101 | WL 4 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 16:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93j08y/how_do_you_manage_your_ed_at_work/
---
Sometimes I find myself in my car on break, just c&s-ing til break is over. I always feel awful and disgusting after, but also relieved, as it's the only way to mitigate all of the stress I face on the daily. I always feel lucky to have have my car to disappear in into,and something to tear into.
I spent a week āeating like a normal personā and I gained 6 pounds. Fucking kill me.
/u/sonospaventato
Created: Tue Jul 31 16:10:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93izmo/i_spent_a_week_eating_like_a_normal_person_and_i/
---
I did purge a couple times but for the most part I tried to eat 3 meals a day with protein. Iām never fucking doing it again, I need the 6 pounds off right now Iām not eating for a week.
[Other] Overate like a mf today but at least I walked a lot
/u/astra2018
Created: Tue Jul 31 16:04:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ixw9/overate_like_a_mf_today_but_at_least_i_walked_a/
---
https://i.redd.it/44yp2avjwcd11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I saw my boyfriend after losing weight and all he noticed were my boobs
/u/ShannonAnon
Created: Tue Jul 31 15:29:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93in25/i_saw_my_boyfriend_after_losing_weight_and_all_he/
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Apparently theyāre smaller. So much smaller that he was able to tell just when we were FaceTiming. My boobs were the only part of my body Iāve ever really sorta liked, and now theyāre gone. My butt has gotten softer and flatter too, and it used to be rock solid even if it was an ugly shape. I havenāt been able to lose any more weight in about 2 weeks and now Iām just afraid that Iāll either gain weight, stay the same too-fat weight that Iām at now, or lose more weight and still be ugly and lose my boobs completely. My boobs have been the same size despite weight gain and loss in the past, so I never expected this to happen and Iām fucking crushed even if itās superficial.
I canāt do anything right.
How to stay positive...restricting for two weeks and no progress š©Weighed in today at 130
/u/chrissylessthan3 [5'2 | CW: 128 | HW: 132.5 | GW: 112 | UGW: 105]
Created: Tue Jul 31 15:23:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93il4m/how_to_stay_positiverestricting_for_two_weeks_and/
---
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/bw1x2F5
[Rant/Rave] "Wow, you finished that whole thing?"
/u/OldDeer
Created: Tue Jul 31 15:20:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ike7/wow_you_finished_that_whole_thing/
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IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF. I restricted heavily for a couple of weeks and did really well, until the stupid horrible no-good binge phase pushed through and has been making me eat like an idiot for the past week or so. Today at dinner I had a massive plate of pasta because I hate myself, and the server (who was actually super nice) said she "rarely sees anyone ever finish that." THEN I HAD DESSERT TOO. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE END MY LIFE I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH. On top of that, I went to try on some sunglasses and the guy was saying how my face is a little chubs. I need to get out of this fucking phase. I'm so fat and I'm so scared and I need to stop :(
Appreciation post for sriracha
/u/kladarling [4'11"| SW 201 |CW169 | GW 95 |23F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 15:19:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ik3f/appreciation_post_for_sriracha/
---
Holy shit, I've never, in my 23 years of life, tried sriracha until last week and holy fuck is it a game changer. It's so fucking good I'm mad at myself for not trying it sooner lol. And best part of all its 0 fucking calories hell yeah. literally every meal this past week has been doused with a good bit of it.
[Rant/Rave] I fucked up yesterday
/u/kayasawyer [Height 411 | CW 100 | BMI 20| Weight Lost 24 | Gender woman]
Created: Tue Jul 31 15:16:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ij37/i_fucked_up_yesterday/
---
My fat fucking ass are French fries and a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendyās yesterday. Now I feel like I gained 50 pounds and I know I didnāt but god damn it. I hate myself so much. Ugh! Why did I do that? And the worst part is is that I have a voice in my head that tell me itās not a big deal and that itās one meal and I can burn it off easily but that voice isnāt as loud as the other one. I donāt know what to do so for the next few days (2 or 3) the only calories I will have in my stomach are the ones from protein shakes. Ugh. Just... why am I like this?
[Rant/Rave] Relationship ended with sugar free gum: Rolaids is my new best friend
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 81lbs | BMI: 15-something | -?lbs| f]
Created: Tue Jul 31 15:15:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93iiv9/relationship_ended_with_sugar_free_gum_rolaids_is/
---
Last night, the chest pain I'd been ignoring grew to a fever pitch I could not ignore. I was rolling in panic and pain, wondering if I would die in my sleep, and debating on whether or not it was worth going to the hospital and risking my freedom (it just doesn't feel safe for obvious reasons to go to a hospital at 78lbs) to determine whether or not the pain, the shortness of breath, and the pain behind my ribs was actually the heart attack i've been afraid of having for the last few years.
In my panic, I grasped at a final straw- antacids.
I took the recommended dose of three.
It didn't do anything.
Still unwilling to go to the hospital, I took three more.
And then two more.
And finally the fire in my chest died down and I realized what I had been worried about as a heart attack was actually just heart burn from
hell.
As an added bonus, the fistful of rolaid killed my appetite and I actually managed to forgo binging and purging for a night.
According to the label, they actually have a substantial amount of calcium and magnesium, too, so I think i'm gonna start popping a couple of these miracles just for giggles and shits and appetite suppression.
Win, I guess?
GoodSync 10.9.4.4 Crack With Serial Key Free 2018 Download [Win + Mac]
/u/aryan167
Created: Tue Jul 31 14:47:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93i9xm/goodsync_10944_crack_with_serial_key_free_2018/
---
http://crackfullreal.com/goodsync-10-9-4-4-serial-key/
Booze destroying my goals
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Tue Jul 31 14:46:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93i9gv/booze_destroying_my_goals/
---
Why do I like beer so much? It's so calorific! I've had my whole daily allowance in just a couple of drinks. I need to switch to spirits but my boyfriend doesnt like if I drink too much. But obviously cutting back on alcohol isn't an option...
I think I need time switch to gin and slim line.
Are there any others who like to drink their cals
Pills to get your weight down that aren't diet pills?
/u/chrissylessthan3 [5'2 | CW: 128 | HW: 132.5 | GW: 112 | UGW: 105]
Created: Tue Jul 31 14:36:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93i6kd/pills_to_get_your_weight_down_that_arent_diet/
---
What pills do you take to suppress your appetite and get your weight down that aren't specifically diet pills?
I've heard metamucil works to fill you up and many people take caffeine pills. Any other suggestions?
My biggest gripe with diet pills is that you gain the weight back after you start taking them. Also most of them give me panic attacks.
[Rant/Rave] Hooked up with my crush need to vent
/u/audreyhepburnwho
Created: Tue Jul 31 14:33:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93i5mf/hooked_up_with_my_crush_need_to_vent/
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Sooo.. Title. He hasn't texted me since we hooked up which isn't unusual, he knows i hate texting but I've been super self conscious that i wasn't good enough in bed, i actually regret not being more active because i was a tad too nervous and I'm also wondering if he just didn't like my body...
So i texted him to hook up again soon and he hasn't replied yet and I'm literally waiting because i was hoping we could neet tomorrow in which case I'm gonna fast until then so i feel and look my best, BUT if he said no or said only on the weekend or something i kinda wanted to binge today, not crazy but like ive been having these planned big meals to satisfy the binge brain. And I've already been low restricting for a while so i wouldn't feel bad at all. But i dont wanna do it before he replies because i dont wanna risk that he wants to meet tmrw and I'm all bloated and gassy lol.... Soooooo im jist starring at my phone hoping to find out if im gonna get laid tomorrow or just get fat
[Other] Tfw your weight loss tracker is a rib cage ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 31 14:24:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93i2os/tfw_your_weight_loss_tracker_is_a_rib_cage_ć/
---
https://i.redd.it/6njgcn8recd11.jpg
No binge day 2: thoughts, feelings, check ins
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | CW: 60kg| GW: 58kg | UGW: 50kg | LW:56kg | 25F ]
Created: Tue Jul 31 14:22:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93i1vs/no_binge_day_2_thoughts_feelings_check_ins/
---
Hey gorgeous wonderful people. 2 days down of the new week :)
How are you doing? How are you doing mentally?
I blocked my ex housemate on Facebook because she just depressed me and used me last year and I think I'm going to buy some new pyjamas this week. Also, my mum told me I was starting to look "a bit too skinny". I wish I'd weighed myself now.
Oh well!
Going to the gym tomorrow evening. I'm usually a morning gym person so not looking forward to that at all. I'm hoping that it's not rammed full of D bags.
Let me know how you're doing x
[Help] mmm breakfast
/u/kayasawyer
Created: Tue Jul 31 14:18:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93i0pc/mmm_breakfast/
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https://i.redd.it/tikwr4vmdcd11.jpg
It's a heat wave and I can't even look at food
/u/BadLifePLanner
Created: Tue Jul 31 14:13:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93hz7w/its_a_heat_wave_and_i_cant_even_look_at_food/
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It's been going on for about a week now. Thirty degrees Celsius. We have a dishwasher that we fill up over the span of a few days. Each time I open it, a sickening stench emanates. A few days ago it actually stopped draining, and there's been standing water inside ever since, probably creating new forms of microscopic life.
There is *another* smell in the kitchen. I've no idea where it might be coming from. It's sweet, as if there was a rat disintegrating under the floor or something. I can't fucking find the source and it's making me insane. I keep the window wide open all day.
A repairman came over today. A stocky, bald middle aged man with disgusting Saint Bernard eyes. He had droplets of sweat on his forehead at all times. He forgot a half empty pack of gum on the table. The packaging is crumpled and I can't help but imagine it in his damp palms. Couldn't stand the look of it and threw out.
Cat has been throwing up. I can't fall asleep at night. I sweat so much I have to change shirts twice a day. Water coming from the tap is thick and lukewarm, it feels like someone had it in their mouth and then spit out. I think my mouthwash has gone bad. It felt almost like a gel last night and no longer tasted of mint. I poured it all in the sink.
is this why people have ACs?
Dreamt that I swallowed glass
/u/Ekawa [Height 5'3 | CW 115 | BMI 20.3| -50 |F/22]
Created: Tue Jul 31 14:10:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93hyag/dreamt_that_i_swallowed_glass/
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Last night I woke up and realized that the pain from my dream was actually real because of the pain in my esophagus from purging and smoking.
Wanted to purge, am now just hurty and sad
/u/starvy_punk
Created: Tue Jul 31 13:59:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93hupb/wanted_to_purge_am_now_just_hurty_and_sad/
---
Morning was going great. Got off work on time, had a little bitta booze and had my planned my maintenance meal while watching *Ex Machina*. At some point i was like *hey dood, theres just a little bitta leftover chinese food your sister made yesterday, its just a little extra, still under TDEE*
and then i ate it. And i was like ok well that was nice, but lets purge it? And then i was like *right after this scene*. And then i woke up. I fell asleep and didnt even have the chance to purge. And now i just feel *so fucking full* and even though i know its under TDEE i can like see my stomach is bigger and i know people can see it. Im just so pissed off at myself.
And i have to work tonight ao i know unless i have just a crazy BM people will see my stomach.
Time to hop back on the fasty train. Choo choo. Next stop hungry town.
Completely out of control
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Tue Jul 31 13:54:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93htco/completely_out_of_control/
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I haven't felt this strong a compulsion to binge in a long time. So far I've had two full lunches and continued to eat more shit since 11am. So anxious I can't sit still in my chair, knowing I'm just going to keep getting fatter but still thinking of the next thing to eat. This is Day 3 of complete binge meltdown. Help me stop this please...
College freshman here..
/u/warmbagel53
Created: Tue Jul 31 13:54:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ht9a/college_freshman_here/
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Iām extremely excited to start living at my university in the fall however I am already anxious about how I am going to be able to count my calories at the dining hall.. My dining hall has some of The nutritional data on myfitnesspal but itās not like I am going to be able to whip out my food scale in the middle of the cafeteria.. I have been counting my calories since seventh grade and still am unable to estimate the right portion sizes for certain foods.. does anybody have any advice for this? Is anybody else struggling with the same situation right now?š I want to be able to enjoy my freshman year of college without worrying about the food situation the entire year
[Rant/Rave] I tried to tell my BF, I regret that now
/u/malificentbeauty [5'2.5 | SW 150 | GW 110 | -9 | 21F ]
Created: Tue Jul 31 13:50:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93hrsa/i_tried_to_tell_my_bf_i_regret_that_now/
---
My boyfriend is extremely supportive, but he doesnāt understand my ED at all. I told him Iām EDNOS, that sometimes I B/P, sometimes I feel ānormalā, sometimes I restrict, whatever. So I am helping him move into our new apartment (I still have a year of school left in a different state) and he is tracking everything. I wanted to eat stir fry zero noodles and have that be my food. He said I needed to eat more but I didnāt want to. But I did anyway cause Iām a fucking pig. And he doesnāt understand that I canāt just eat normal portions. I want to restrict or binge, there is no in between. So when heās forcing all of this food on me itās stressing me the fuck out because now I just want to binge. And I tried to confront him and be like āyour help is unhelpfulā but he was like āIām not going to watch you eat like that and not say anythingā and Iām like why??? Just donāt say anything!! Itās really stressing me out because I know Iāve gained back everything I lost and I hate myself.
[Rant/Rave] for the first time in my life, i have a thigh gap
/u/death-crush [156 cm | 46kg | BMI 18.9 | 5kg down | 19F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 13:30:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93hllh/for_the_first_time_in_my_life_i_have_a_thigh_gap/
---
...and i'm so overwhelmed that i feel like i'm gonna start crying any moment now.
i weighted myself this morning and i was exactly 46 kg (around 101 lbs?) which is the lowest weight i've ever been at ~~excluding my weight during elementary/middle school lmao~~ so that already put me in a pretty good mood for the day. at the beginning of july i was around 51-50 kg and i know it's not that big of a difference, but to me it feels super big. i've been doing my best not to b/p too and tho i've had slip-ups, i feel like i'm making some progress... hopefully
anyways i just did a body check and i realized that my weight loss is getting noticeable, and that i'm starting to have a visible thigh gap and guys... i'm genuinely happy.
i was always so unhappy with my body (especially my thighs) and my weight and my eating habits but just now i'm realizing that i can actually make a change and that *i'm* the one in control here. like, this is *my* body and i can change it if i want to. and i will change it, and i know i can do this.
sorry for all this weird rambling, i just really felt the need to talk about this. thank you for reading <3
[Rant/Rave] Just need to vent
/u/featherlite91
Created: Tue Jul 31 13:16:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93hh7w/just_need_to_vent/
---
I used to be anorexic in high school. I went from 135-103 (Iām 5ā7). Eventually I got over it and moved on but have always been insanely insecure and have had issues with food and weight.
Well fast forward to me now. Iām 27. Still same height but about 157. Sure Iām married and have good friends and family but I canāt help but think of myself as a disgusting piece of lard. Iām heavier than 99.9% of my female friends. Iāve been told ācongrats on the pregnancyā when obviously Iām not pregnant. I saw a bikini photo of myself from this weekend and balled my eyes out for hours.
So Iām thinking of going back to ana. Itās the only thing thatās ever worked for me (that and intermittent fasting, but every time I would eat I would just feel so guilty). But itās harder than I remember. And I feel like such a failure for not being able to starve myself as well as I used to.
I donāt want to be the fat girl anymore. I wanted to do this the healthy way (diet and exercise) but Iām so disgusting and out of shape, Iām too embarrassed to step foot into a gym and I canāt afford a personal trainer. Also Iām a picky eater and because of that dieting is often not an option since a majority of the food is stuff I hate. I guess ana is the way to go.
Anyway I donāt know where I was going with this but I just needed to get it off my chest. I try to mention it to my husband but he just gets upset and tells me Iām being an idiot. As do my friends. But none of them have ever struggled. None of them have downed a bottle of pills because of how disgustingly fat and hideous they are.
At this point itās be skinny or death....and Iāll take either at this point.
[Discussion] my weird habit
/u/mauvegraybluegreen
Created: Tue Jul 31 13:04:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93hddh/my_weird_habit/
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Body Dysmo rphia and Glasses
/u/breadndread [5'0| 120 | 23| not sure| F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 13:03:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93hd9n/body_dysmo_rphia_and_glasses/
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So I have pretty shoddy vision, and I know I'm farsighted and have a high power. This means when I take my glasses off, everything becomes substantially smaller. It really messes with how I see myself in pictures and in the mirror. I always internally panic when I pass any mirrors with glasses on.
Does anyone else think their glasses affects how they see themselves?
Stress
/u/dragaynite
Created: Tue Jul 31 12:22:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93h06a/stress/
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I low key love taking extra shifts and working to the point of tears because it means Iām not eating. Iām hitting overtime this week because so many people needed shifts covered, and I keep taking them even though I hate my job. But Iām on my feet all day, away from home and boredom eating. I always take on more than I can handle because it means Iāll be too busy to eat.
[Goal] Iām trying to lose weight after putting on 30+ pounds and I need help
/u/RedFolly
Created: Tue Jul 31 11:53:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93gqgk/im_trying_to_lose_weight_after_putting_on_30/
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Iād like to lose 50 pounds. Iāve gained a ton of weight since I moved in with my BF and stopped purging.
I was wondering if anyone had any tips/tricks? Or possibly any go to low cal meals that appear pretty normal. Even if you wanted to say what you typically eat In a day when your losing weight that would be super helpful.
[Discussion] Insatiable
/u/nekkedpebbl [Height 5'2" | CW 108lbs | GW 100lbs| -8lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 31 11:45:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93gny8/insatiable/
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So thereās been a lot of controversy surrounding the new Netflix series Insatiable which is supposed to be about an overweight girl who loses a lot of weight and subsequently takes revenge on the former tormentors (or something along those lines). Itās been called fat shaming and a petition was signed by something like 150,000 people who claim that their eating disorders are triggered by the trailer alone. So I guess what Iām curious about is, as r/proED, what do you guys think of it/shows and movies that depict drastic weight loss and or eating disorders?Personally Iām not triggered in the slightest but Iām interested to hear about you guysā take on it.
tl;dr: how do you guys feel about media that shows drastic weight loss/gain/eating disorders?
Less regretti more spaghetti
/u/creampuffpixie
Created: Tue Jul 31 11:41:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93gmi4/less_regretti_more_spaghetti/
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I really fucking regret telling my ex (although now a current fling lmao) about my ED and current RAVENOUS bulimia
"I feel so disgusting, like this shit is so gross what I'm doing"
"Well ya" he says "actually it is pretty disgusting"
Telling me he will give me this book and it'll really help me! Because it helped him, because he used to always forget to eat and now he is eating more and doing way better!!
And then he ordered so so much food, two appetizers along with the deep dish pizza after I asked him to maybe just only get one? I have a problem controlling myself around food and that would really help!
"Just eat a little now, save some for later! Don't eat til you feel terrible"
Wow I've never thought of that!
I'm on an antibiotic so I really can't purge after I've taken it, and I ate too fucking much, so many potato wedges, and garlic bread, only one piece of deep dish. But so many carbs. So much grease. It fucked me up dawg.
So we went to karaoke, bc it's Monday and that's karaoke night.
I ended up purging a little bit. Just to relieve a bit of the pressure.
"Did you go pee?" Nod "did you do anything else"
I'm already fucking disappointed in myself goddamnit. He grabs my hand and slaps it and says "bad, stop, no"
"I'm not a fucking child"
Everything is bad. Everything is fucked. He says he cares about me and he doesn't like to see me slowly kill myself.
I just want to be alone.
Not-an-ED-sufferer here. Why are most people with an ED so very secretive about it?
/u/Krappadap
Created: Tue Jul 31 11:31:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93gjbg/notanedsufferer_here_why_are_most_people_with_an/
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I will probably get downvoted but whatevs.
I know very well that some people are impossible to reason with and they will always condemn, irritate or mistreat you if they find out about your condition and it might be impossible to predict how someone will react if you tell them.
Is this the main reason why you are so afraid to openly communicate? Is it embarrassment? Do you fear that they will inevitably try to force you into treatment when you're not ready?
[Help] Eating meat again
/u/123456789koala
Created: Tue Jul 31 11:18:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93gf2n/eating_meat_again/
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Hey ya'll, first time poster, long time lurker, yadda yadda.
I've had BED for as long as I remember, and since 12 I struggle with BN and restrictive tendencies. Coincidentally I became vegetarian at about the same time my BN started. I'm now debating If I should start eating chicken again, because it would definitely put my parents minds at rest, because they think I'm anorexic as well( I'm not, they dont really get EDs, and my psychologist didn't really explain it to them) so now I'm debating eating chicken again, because it's so filling and low in calories and actually satisfying and I think I could actually lose weight again if I started eating it AND my parents would stop worrying about me so much, because I'll seem recovered. (Trying to stop b/p, but not ready for real recovery tbh)
But I afraid of people making comments...
My mom just said I've "noticeably gained weight" and that my body looks different than it was..
/u/BIueJayWay [5"3| CW:107 |GW: 102 |BMI:18.9 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 11:06:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93gb8i/my_mom_just_said_ive_noticeably_gained_weight_and/
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I'm not even kidding, I want to die. I just want to vanish into thin air and never come back.
I wish one day i can get so thin, so sick i have to be hospitalized. then she'll finally be happy. she'll finally shut up about weight. i cant wait for that day. its how this whole disorder started, wanting "revenge" after she kept pointing out my weight all the damn time.
I'm only fifteen. My BMI is 18.9, barely just over underweight. She says my supposed weight gain has been noticeable. I can't so much as tell her what she's saying hurts me, becayse she'll go off on me being over sensitive. and start yelling.
I want to fucking die. I want to end my life. Then she'll understand how much she's actually hurt me, and then it'll be too late to do anything about it.
stopped mid-binge. (s/o to my grandma LOL)
/u/biblicalirony [5'3 | cw: 174 | hw: 234 | lw: 170 | gw: 115 | 15f]
Created: Tue Jul 31 11:02:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93g9ua/stopped_midbinge_so_to_my_grandma_lol/
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i've been restricting <500cals for the past few days and was trying to keep up the streak but i was absolutely ravenous at this point. there was leftover beef stew in the fridge and i heated up god knows how much of it up. i might be overestimating but i think it was a bit over or around 800cals?? my initial reaction was to go to the bathroom and purge it all out but my grandma was using it so i went back to the fridge and decided, "fuck, might as well eat more while i'm waiting." i was grabbing literally every thing i could to gorge on but by the time that i was done choosing, my stomach became uncomfortably full. (thank god i at least binged on something w protein loll.) so i put it all back, chugged down a water bottle, and wrote down a list of all the food i originally planning on eating and how many calories i'd consume had i eaten it all. in part so i could fantasize about the binging but after having written down all the food, i realized just how much it wasn't worth the calories.
1. teriyaki beef yakisoba instant noodles - 520cals
2. three leftover handmade pan chicken/bacon dominos pizza - 960cals
3. leftover wonton soup - 300cals
4. syrup w a side of 2 eggos - ~~idontevenwannaknow~~ 320cals
too lazy to do any more math but i figured that would've ended up in like half a pound over my tdee?? but yeah, not worth it. idk what i wanna do for the rest of today. i'm really, *really* full right now which might change in a few hours but if worst comes to worst, i think i'm just gonna try to make it a maintenance day.
but yeah, just wanted to share that. :D
[Discussion] Anyone else have a deadline/date for their goal weight?
/u/peachypetrina
Created: Tue Jul 31 10:48:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93g5nd/anyone_else_have_a_deadlinedate_for_their_goal/
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I just want to reach my GW (which for me is just finally having an underweight BMI) before I leave for college in a few weeks but Iād be even more pleased if I got to the next goal by that time. I love using the Happy Scale app to predict the dates but every day that I fuck up at restricting, the expected date of when Iāll reach my goal grows farther and farther :( and then it says my weight loss rate is like .0001 lbs a week lol so Iām pushing myself to get back on track.
Do you guys have a specific date or event to reach your goal? And does anyone else love to fantasize about how theyāll look at that point?
DAE have āwhen Iām recoveredā foods?
/u/motivation-cat
Created: Tue Jul 31 10:27:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93fyeh/dae_have_when_im_recovered_foods/
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I have a whole list of foods that I wonāt even look at right now, but that I absolutely cannot wait to eat once I eventually recover. Does anyone else have something similar, or am I just kinda crazy? š
š
[Discussion] DAE visit /r/ProED not to encourage disordered eating but to commiserate?
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Tue Jul 31 10:05:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93frdy/dae_visit_rproed_not_to_encourage_disordered/
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I don't sub for tips on how to lose weight or how to get a low BMI (I know how to do that), I just like to vent and rant about my food issues and read other peoples' stories and be like, "Yep, I've been there."
[Help] Safest bet from this menu and rough calorie estimate?
/u/spyrothedaddy [5'4"|CW:116.6|F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 09:51:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93fn8f/safest_bet_from_this_menu_and_rough_calorie/
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https://i.redd.it/bm81da032bd11.jpg
The saltwater cleanse didnāt do shit for me
/u/comrade_toastboy [Height | 116 | GW 110| UGW 105]
Created: Tue Jul 31 09:22:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93fe6j/the_saltwater_cleanse_didnt_do_shit_for_me/
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Literally, like it didnāt make me have to go. And Iām salty, so now Iām back to coffee to achieve the desired affect.
Can restricting cause a fever?
/u/Call_me_Cassius [5'5" | CW: š | GW: 98lb | -30lb | M21]
Created: Tue Jul 31 09:21:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93fdq2/can_restricting_cause_a_fever/
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I've noticed I've been just... absolutely exhausted the last few days. A little lightheaded but not terribly, ears stuff up which I know can be a blood pressure thing, blah blah blah. I figured it was because I've been restricting pretty heavily and exercising a lot for about two weeks without any sort of break and a sign that I really needed a binge day or something.
But! This morning I realized I have a fever. I've kinda noticed being pretty hot for a few days, but usually after exercising or being outside, so I didn't worry about it. But nope, it's definitely a fever.
Is the fever also because of the restricting? Or could the fatigue and all be because I'm sick?
[Discussion] DAE hate the blackouts from standing up?
/u/Shibo_Kitsune
Created: Tue Jul 31 09:16:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93fc6e/dae_hate_the_blackouts_from_standing_up/
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Like on one hand I feel like it's showing me that I'm doing well restricting but mainly it just makes me so damn anxious and panicky! Don't suppose there's some sort of magical low cal solution to this? š
Does anyone have a meal plan for maintaining a healthy weight?
/u/halostop [19.6 | Recoveryish | 23F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 09:04:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93f8mc/does_anyone_have_a_meal_plan_for_maintaining_a/
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ISO a meal plan that uses exchanges/servings for someone who doesn't need to gain or lose weight.
For some reason this is proving to be really difficult to find on the internet. I had one from treatment way back when, but I must have thrown it out.
I'm trying to avoid counting calories since that normally triggers me to binge or restrict.
Thanks in advance!
Unappetizing Words
/u/untroubledbyaspark [SW:rubanesque|CW:skinnyBitch|GW:androgynousAlien]
Created: Tue Jul 31 08:53:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93f59v/unappetizing_words/
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DAE get grossed out by certain food-related words? Like if food comes in a "packet" or *especially* a "pouch", or is described as "something bites" it makes me a little sick and I won't want to eat.
Anyone? Share your gross-out words!
Well this just killed my binge mood
/u/cartoonsandscience [ 21M]
Created: Tue Jul 31 08:45:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93f2vu/well_this_just_killed_my_binge_mood/
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https://www.buzzfeed.com/jennaguillaume/gross-food-photos?utm_term=.tgXPn4VbLm#.tgXPn4VbLm
[Discussion] Gaining weight while restricting ?
/u/rainesaway
Created: Tue Jul 31 08:01:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93epyz/gaining_weight_while_restricting/
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So I've lowered my calorie intake to 700 calories a day for the past week and I lost weight at first but I'm gaining it back. I've been sticking with the calorie limit and I haven't binged. Has this happened to anyone else ?
Most Accurate:MyFitnessPal or Cronometer?
/u/MissMichuMoo [1.68m| CW55.1kg | bmi 19.5 | HW73kg| GW53kg | 26F :cake:]
Created: Tue Jul 31 07:35:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ej2o/most_accuratemyfitnesspal_or_cronometer/
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Hey Pals,
I just want to know which one works best for you, and why?
I never knew about Cronometer and recently started tracking on there. I've used MFP many times before.
Struggling with purging urges
/u/jpingor
Created: Tue Jul 31 07:34:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93eiqx/struggling_with_purging_urges/
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Iām at work and Iām struggling because I ate food this morning and my stomach is in knots. I really want to purge but Iām at work and itās not a safe spot, and Iām trying to keep myself from thinking about it.. anyone have any advice for what I can do to stay positive about eating?
[Rant/Rave] 1 week binge free :)
/u/DenverTheLastDinosau
Created: Tue Jul 31 07:28:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93eh6b/1_week_binge_free/
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I have BED and haven't been able to control it for the past year. This is the first week in probably years where I haven't binged. A whole week, may be not a lot to some, but it's a huge leap for me and I'm so happy. I feel encouraged to keep going, and feel like I'm finally getting used to keeping myself going on less food and not wanting to binge everything in sight. How are you guys doing? Any small victories or setbacks this week?
Depo provera screwed everything up.
/u/yumimi96
Created: Tue Jul 31 07:20:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93eesw/depo_provera_screwed_everything_up/
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I'm a 21 y/o female who is in a very loving relationship. I decided to take depo as its a relatively cheap and fuss free way to not get an accidental pregancy as my bf and i are sexually active. BUT, the weight gain.. was horrible. I gained 8 kg within 6 months and I can't lose it???? I already restrict myself so much but my bf is very wary and always stops me from dieting and all.
It's just so frustrating cause I'm still a college student and I can't afford having an IUD (or those implant thingys) rn so i have to keep with depo. This is affecting my self-esteem so much that I literally cry all day.
[Help] Caloric Intake Advice?
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Tue Jul 31 07:10:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ecd6/caloric_intake_advice/
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Just trying to maintain.
Height: 5ā8.5
Weight: 108-110 pounds
Activity: (M-F: 1-1.5 hours elliptical, 30 mins strength training, 1 hour walking) (Sat: 4-8 mile run)
Any advice? Iām not really sure how much Iām even burning. Right now Iām munching on about 1200 calories a day.
Bye.
/u/Softball902
Created: Tue Jul 31 06:53:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93e7oo/bye/
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Last time on this subreddit. Asking mods to block me. Thanks for everything. I'm moving on to better things for my health and happiness. I hope you find what your searching for. Good luck with this thing called life.
"Life always offers you a second chance, its called tomorrow..."
[Help] Lanugo
/u/mittensmel
Created: Tue Jul 31 06:30:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93e1zn/lanugo/
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I'm nowhere near underweight (BMI is 25.4) but I seem to be getting lanugo. I have lost a lot very quickly, is that why?
Anything I can do about it without gaining weight?
It is everywhere! Longest is on my butt!! I noticed first on my neck and ears.
How can I hide this? I guess I need to shave it?
[Help] Looking for a website
/u/smickles11
Created: Tue Jul 31 06:29:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93e1sp/looking_for_a_website/
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What's the website where you input all your stats and it shows you a 3d pic of what your body looks like.? And you can rotate it?
[Other] Yummy, filling, safe breakfast!!!
/u/ShannonAnon
Created: Tue Jul 31 06:15:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93dyg7/yummy_filling_safe_breakfast/
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https://i.redd.it/kv779t6lz9d11.jpg
[Discussion] DAE get super triggered by any mention of weight, weight-loss or dieting?
/u/lemonflowergirl
Created: Tue Jul 31 06:10:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93dx2y/dae_get_super_triggered_by_any_mention_of_weight/
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So while Iām not unwell at the moment, I do have an extremely unhealthy relationship with food and am constantly fighting with myself over body image and what I can and canāt eat.
Iāve noticed whenever friends mention their weight, weight loss, dieting for weight loss or anything like that I have a REALLY physical reaction which almost feels like an anxiety attack and triggers some really severe ED thoughts.
Does anyone else get this? How do you deal with it? I know I should probably see a professional but I donāt have the money or time.
Winterās nearly over which means summerās coming and everyone is going to start talking about their diets and summer bodies....
Thinspo Tuesday July 31, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 31 06:10:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93dx2m/thinspo_tuesday_july_31_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 31, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 31 06:10:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93dx1i/daily_food_diary_july_31_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 31, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Need help troubleshooting TDEE
/u/crankyhedgiebutt
Created: Tue Jul 31 05:44:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93dr1r/need_help_troubleshooting_tdee/
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Hey there,
Hope your Tuesday is fabulous! So Iām at a loss of how many calories I should be eating a day and why the scale isnāt budging. I know we arenāt supposed to advise things but I just need a little help troubleshooting/ making sense of things.
My TDEE was calculated to be like 1900, and with cutting it was calculated to be 1400. So I try to equal 1400 by the end of the day (considering my activity and intake). It looks like I eat anywhere around 14-1800 a day depending, generally 1600ish. But I garden all day for work and calorielab said gardening burns about 180 cals/hr for my weight. I garden about 7 hours so that would equal 1260 calories burned a day, and some of these days I also work out for 2 hours. Iāve been working or 2-3 times a week. Iāve finally gotten to 113 (I think) and have been stuck at 114-115 all summer. But my clothes feel looser and I can tell Iāve burned fat off. But the scale doesnāt reflect that. Itās really weird because my clothes are definitely noticeably looser, pants and even my sports bra. I just donāt think it makes any sense! Why is this? Iād like to get to 110, or just burn the rest of my remaining fat off.
Thanks guys, be well. Much love
[Rant/Rave] Drunkenly told my coworker about my disordered eating (PUT ME IN A COMA)
/u/losemore [5ā9.5 | oink | 22F | UGW 100lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 31 05:24:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93dmsc/drunkenly_told_my_coworker_about_my_disordered/
---
I attended a work event a few weeks ago where lots of alcohol was consumed. Iāve lost a noticeable amount of weight in the last couple of months (30ish pounds), and the dress I wore certainly didnāt hide it.
I had been receiving comments about the weight Iāve lost all night, and I absolutely HATE when people comment on my body.
I went to the toilets for some alone time and to get my shit together, when one of the coworkers Iām reasonably close with, walked in and asked me what was wrong.
In my drunken state, I told her I was extremely uncomfortable about people commenting on my body, and that I have a somewhat problematic relationship with food. *fuck*
We havenāt addressed what I told her since that night, but since then, sheās been pushing food onto me and commenting about my lack of eating at work.
What the fuck do I do? This is so awkward and I could never bring up what I told her sober, but I also want her to get off my dick about food.
This has been a PSA - never get wasted at work events.
[Tip] A new way to count
/u/onthewaydownnn [25F | 5'7" | ā¼ 25 lbs | ā½ 23 lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 31 04:42:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93ddu1/a_new_way_to_count/
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I used to try and count binge and binge/purge days the typical way like āwoah I havenāt binged in 6 days!ā And then when Iād inevitably break, my count would go back to 0 and I started over.
My therapist started helping me get past that all-or-nothing mentality because the higher the number when I binged, the worse it was since I already effed up after that long of not binging, might as well lose my shit completely and just go for it.
She actually has implimented two new systems to combat this:
1. I count each day Iām binge/purge free as one day (lol revolutionary right?) okay so letās say I have 3 days undern my belt and I b/p on the 4th. ***I donāt start at 0 the next day!*** I just have to not count that day, and take one good day away. So the net result is 2 good days under my belt. I know it doesnāt seem like a big deal, but seriously, itās helped take away the shame that seems to be the biggest factor in the size of my binges.
2. SHE GIVES ME FUCKING PERMISSION TO BINGE AND PURGE. Each week, we set a realistic goal. Not a goal Iāve hit before but a *realistic amount of days I truly believe I can be b/p free at that specific moment of my appointment.* So letās say we set 3 days as my goal. Well if I make it 3 good days, I have all the permission in the world to b/p on the 4th. Like not fake permission that Iām hoping Iāll psychologically trick myself with and when I get there, Iāll be like āomg Iām cured I never want to b/p again wow!ā (Lol š¤¦š»āāļø) Sheās actually like āokay so letās plan that 4th day. Do you work? What will you binge and purge on? Are you okay if Jonas (my husband) is at the house while you do it? Do you need to ask him to leave?ā
Number 2 sounds ludicrous. And it made me irrationally angry when she first introduced me to the idea. Iām like *WHAT THE FUCK I PAY YOU TO HELP ME STOP THIS BULLSHIT WHY ARE YOU ENCOURAGING ME TO DO THIS*
Turns out her 26 years as the only Certified Eating Disorder Specialist in all of Nebraska means she actually knows what sheās doing. I started this in October, and I went from b/pāing 3-4 times *a day* to 1-2 times *a month*
And having 113 good days under my belt (counting with the method above) as opposed to a 0 day streak (if I were counting the standard way) makes it a hell of a lot more easy for me to be proud of myself and not think Iām garbage after the first bite of a binge. Do you know how quickly things de-escalate now??? Like I have one spoonful of peanut butter and instead of saying āfuck I screwed up. IZZZZGOOOOTIMEEEEEā Iām like **āShit, girl. You got 113 days. You know how much it took to get 113 days? Thatās not even how many actual days you were behavior free. Those are the *net* days. Yew strong az hell. Put that peanut butter down.ā **
[Discussion] People in recovery who have not been underweight, how the FUCK did you learn to accept weight gain?! [discussion]
/u/throwaway_ED_
Created: Tue Jul 31 03:32:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93cznm/people_in_recovery_who_have_not_been_underweight/
---
Sooo I desperately want to recover because this shit is ruining my life. So far it's been going quite well - my urge to binge has been significantly reduced, I almost never purge by puking anymore, I can even keep binge foods in the house without obsessing over them until I finally break and devour everything. A year ago, I wouldn't have thought that this is possible.
Hoooowever. Now I'm at a point in my recovery where my therapist and I want to tackle my obsessive calorie counting so I can have a social life again. And I want to! I really, really want to. I waste so much time and energy and have missed so many social activities due to my fear of unknown calorie contents and this HAS to stop.
The problem is that intuitive eating makes me gain weight and gaining weight is still my biggest fear in the whole fucking world. I don't even really binge anymore every time I'm not counting like I used to, but I routinely eat over my TDEE by like 500 calories because my hunger cues and my relationship with food are still fucked up. There is no medical reason for me to gain weight as I haven't been underweight for at least two years, but I understand that accepting a gain and stopping the fixation on weight is still an important part of recovery.
But how do you do it?! Right now, I manage to eat without weighting and counting every bite for like a week, then I notice I've gained, then I freak out, fast a day and start counting obsessively again, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.
I mean I know the facts, I know my eating patterns will even out eventually and I will stop gaining if I stick to "normal eating" long enough, but I still freak out over the initial gain too much to continue. I tell myself "it's worth it, this will pass, this is the only way you'll ever have a normal life" yadda yadda yadda, but it doesn't work. My self worth is tied to my weight so much.
I've already told my therapist several times, I asked her if we could work on my self worth issues first so I wouldn't have to rely on having control over my food/being skinny so much, but she keeps repeating that we can't work on my deeper problems without establishing a regular eating pattern first and that there's scientific evidence that this approach works best. I asked her if there are any strategies that help me cope with the gain, but she only said "ultimately it's just a decision you have to make". But oh boy, it sure doesn't feel like it! How can I *decide* to cope with the weight gain when this is such a central part of my mental illness? To me, that sounds like telling a schizophrenic that he can "just decide" to stop hearing voices...
Otherwise, I'm very happy with my therapist, but this really irks me.
What have been your experiences with this? In which order did you tackle the ED, underlying issues first and then establishing normal eating patterns or eating pattern first and then the underlying issues? If the latter, how the fuck did you cope with the initial gain? Are there any strategies that where helpful to you?
Any Amazon recipe book reccomendations?
/u/damnitjanet6 [5"5'| hellbeast | BMI 28 | -27lbs | 20f]
Created: Tue Jul 31 03:30:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93cz56/any_amazon_recipe_book_reccomendations/
---
I'm thinking vegan low-cal cook books with calorie counts because i'm too lazy to work it out for myself? Struggling to find any out there! What are your favourite recipe books? And as a side note, any low-cal foods you would reccomend that I can bulk-buy on Amazon?
Won a weight loss competition at work. Really competitive colleague emails me:
/u/MissMichuMoo [1.68m| CW55.8kg | bmi 19.8 | HW73kg| GW53kg | 26F:cake:]
Created: Tue Jul 31 03:11:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93cvmn/won_a_weight_loss_competition_at_work_really/
---
https://i.redd.it/xk1px3oh29d11.jpg
[Discussion] whats the nicest thing anyones ever said to/about you?
/u/isaezraa [165 | CW 55 | GW 50 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 31 02:53:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93csgc/whats_the_nicest_thing_anyones_ever_said_toabout/
---
just tryna spread a lil bit of positivity :)
[Discussion] viTaMiNs
/u/fortunate-foolx [f/5'1/cw:whale/gw:dead]
Created: Tue Jul 31 02:20:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93cmoa/vitamins/
---
I want to start taking better care of my body (haha, funny). okay, well as best of care I can in my current situation. I was wondering what vitamins would be best? Iām not really the most educated in macros and nutrition and all that shit, but i want to at least attempt to somewhat give my body the vitamins and shit it needs, since it having a hella hard time actually eating.
thank you :)
[Discussion] sugar babies??
/u/lightningmcqueef69 [5'7" | CW 129.8 | GW 100 | NB | 18 | š: lightningmcqueef69]
Created: Tue Jul 31 02:14:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93clps/sugar_babies/
---
hello!! is anyone in this sub experienced w/ sugaring?? i've been doing my research with the intent to get into it (my only experience in sex work is selling nudes online) but i'm struggling to come up with non-food first date ideas!!
I feel like I can't admit this out loud
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Tue Jul 31 00:36:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93c3az/i_feel_like_i_cant_admit_this_out_loud/
---
My favourite thing about my body is lifting up my arms and seeing some of my rib cage. Only the bottom shows.
I can't say it out loud because I don't like to think about whether I have a problem and whether I need help.
A photo came up on my Pinterest suggested pin and it was a girl with so much rib cage. It was mesmerising. I understand she's sick. I understand the headaches, the feelings of faintness, the hunger that is a combination of desperation and guilt...and yet I long for it.
I want my body to be so thin skin clings to my rib cage. I want to punish it for ever being fat. I want people to look at me an wonder, but then tell themselves they're ridiculous because they see me eat every day.
I want my body to scream the level on self discipline and control I have over it.
I want to flaunt my rib cage
[Discussion] Is matcha worth it?
/u/PhoneWalletSanity [156cm/5'1.5| 100 lbs| 19.4| 18F| Exploring Recovery]
Created: Mon Jul 30 23:37:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93brgz/is_matcha_worth_it/
---
To all you guys and gals getting energy in natural ways/have tried doing so: how worth it is matcha?
Whether it's from an energy/wakefulness perspective, taste as compared to plain black tea, price vs satisfaction ratio or whatever your reason was for trying out matcha in the first place.
If you regularly drink it: where do you normally buy it? How often do you drink it? Is it your primary form of energy boosting drink (ie do you also consume caffeine, energy drinks, other teas, etc?)
If you used to drink it or only tried it: what made you stop?
Personally, I like the taste of matcha from the few times I've had it but I'm not sure I'm willing to jump onto the train. That being said, I do want to kick my desire for energy drinks, diet Coke/Pepsi or caffeine when I'm tired.
[Discussion] did anyone else have to give up caffeine at a certain weight?
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 110 |HW: 134|UGW: 105|F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 23:27:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93bpcy/did_anyone_else_have_to_give_up_caffeine_at_a/
---
when i was at a healthy weight i used to drink energy drinks every single day, but now that i'm at a bmi of about 17.1ish i feel like i'm going to die if i have too much caffeine. it really triggers my anxiety and i just feel shaky and awful. i see a lot of underweight people posting about caffeine pills and black coffee and zero cal energy drinks and i'm just like... how
Buying Primatene online
/u/tupacisalive2020
Created: Mon Jul 30 23:05:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93bkpq/buying_primatene_online/
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How dangerous would it be to buy primatene or bronkaid on ebay? It is only available via script in my state but I see a lot of it being sold on ebay. Do any of you have experience trying to get something like this online?
"You used to be so skinny!!"
/u/Jenny_Roberts
Created: Mon Jul 30 23:01:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93bjrx/you_used_to_be_so_skinny/
---
(on mobile, can't flair)
One of those frustrating things I didn't think was ever going to happen to me. My LW was around 155 (5'8) but I never really saw myself as thin or anything, just curvy and "solid".
I walked into the kitchen a few minutes ago to my sister and mother (both very fit/thin) looking at old pictures on Facebook, so I joined them.
Several times we'd run across a picture of me pre-BED and they'd both exclaim "WOw, Jenny, you used to be SO much thinner!!?". Complete with my sister looking me up and down and back to the picture with a look of horror and confusion.
Happened 3-5 times over 10 min. Made me feel great about myself obviously. šššš
[Tip] Dave's Fat Loss Calculator is my new favorite thing (I hope this is allowed)
/u/fastingfrycook
Created: Mon Jul 30 22:52:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93bhvk/daves_fat_loss_calculator_is_my_new_favorite/
---
http://ratfactor.com/tools/fatcalc/
[Rant/Rave] i hate my life so hard right now
/u/lawsoflife [5'5'' | CW: 181 GW: 110 | -29 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 22:41:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93bf8h/i_hate_my_life_so_hard_right_now/
---
i feel like I can only have control over one part of my life at a time. the past ~2 months ive gone back to heavy restricting and lost like 30 pounds of the weight I gained last year. ive been obsessing over food and everything so hard that ive been doing so horribly in my summer classes. my two finals are Wednesday and I just want to die bc i know iām not going to do well on them. i just need a 55 on one and a 70 on the other to get the grades i need to keep my scholarship but theyāre some of the hardest classes Iāve ever taken and it feels literally impossible. and because iāve been focusing on work and studying the past few days, I havenāt been eating well at all and am up like 5 pounds. i know itās probably at least some water weight but i just want to cry..school starts in about 3 weeks and my goal was to have lost 40-50 pounds by then bc my friends convinced me to rush their sororities and i know Iāll get cut from all of them and humiliated for being so fat and disgusting. ughhhhhh I just donāt know what to do I hate everything right now
[Rant/Rave] The Broke Diet
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8" | CW: 130.0 & BMI: 20.1 | GW:115 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 22:27:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93bcae/the_broke_diet/
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Being broke is doing wonders for me right now. Iām so broke and need a job ASAP. Iām on the verge of a mental breakdown watching my savings disappear. The stress, anxiety, and humiliation over the reality of having to borrow money from my parents (who will never let this go) means I have ZERO appetite. All other sources of stress and anxiety make me binge but money stress only makes me want to starve and self-harm.
Does using laxative help with long term loss?
/u/throwItAwayAgain1211
Created: Mon Jul 30 22:23:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93bbcr/does_using_laxative_help_with_long_term_loss/
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I know that starting to use it will probably give a big woosh loss in weight, but can continuing to use laxatives keep helping me lose weight faster? I just don't want to bother if all it will do is make it look like I weight less because I've got less water in my system. Thanks.
[Goal] What I Crave More Than Food
/u/2ndfirstday [:redditgold: 5'5" | C 102.6 | G 95 | :downvote:1 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 22:07:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93b7kw/what_i_crave_more_than_food/
---
When I was 17, my parents were rushing me to get ready for a church event, but I was stuck in my own head. I remember that night very clearly. I was in the bathroom while everyone was running around getting ready. My mother knocked on the bathroom door and told me to hurry up, but I didnāt care. I was too happy to care.
I was standing on the scale in my winter boots, thick wool tights, dress, heavy coat, and scarf. I was in very heavy clothes, and I was under 100 pounds.
I want that feeling again. I was so happy to see 97.6 pop up on the scale. Iām 21 now, at 101.6 while bare naked. I just want to see the 90s while Iām wearing heavy clothes again. I want that again more than anything.
Thatās my next goal.
[Discussion] I'm bad at "it"
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Mon Jul 30 22:04:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93b6vx/im_bad_at_it/
---
Hahaha haha haha
19 M 5FT2ish CW 138LBS GW 100LBS
I get all the worst of it, the body image issues
(or maybe I really am just that gross looking? And I try to convince myself other wise so I don't do something more drastic?)
I think about food from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep.
My highest weight was pushing 160lbs in 2017. Mind you I'm only 5ft1 or 5ft1....
I'm 138lbs now if the scale I got to use at someone's house wasn't lying.
I walk to work every day and back when I can avoid rides without seeming rude.
I try to choose things I can count calories of but sometimes I'm pressured so hard by others to eat and I find that I can't say no.
Well I'm making more of an effort to say no... I've been really bad at saying it my whole life.
Sorry this is really a bat shit crazy rant but man I CAN'T RESTRICT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE CAN AND WHEN I PURGE I BREAK THE BLOOD VESSELS IN MY EYES AND EVERYONE CAN SEE IT SO I CAN'T DO THAT :"(
People around me who struggle with their weight are acting like they see a difference? They all still see me as female so they talk about weight really openly I guess? Half are so envious and half want to ruin my progress it seems?
It just hurts idk knowing that I'm literally day in day out suffering with this but I'm not seeing the progress other people do. It took me almost 2 years to lose about 20lbs.. which when I was that size I literally ate whatever I wanted. Sure I hated myself but food was so good.
I'm sorry I know this is long and pointless.
It's just hard bc I'm constantly having an identity crisis and I'm trapped in this flabby sad body that's so weak I dropped my full glass of water around a few people today..
I see so many gorgeous thin people and just looking in the mirror hurts because that isn't me.
And the fear OMG THE FEAR of getting bigger again is lurking over me like an evil shadow that would rather have me dead than be that way..
I digress
My hair has been falling out for months and I shake
But none the less I cannot stop stuffing my face just enough to not lose enough.
[Rant/Rave] Work out issues
/u/LnD13313
Created: Mon Jul 30 21:49:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93b3bi/work_out_issues/
---
Started working out again.
Just upped my reps.
I feel extremely nauseous. In a really weird feeling in my stomach that I donāt like. Itās a feeling that makes me want to rip my stomach out. Itās weird.
[Discussion] Iām so close to getting back into double digits and I canāt wait
/u/nadaste
Created: Mon Jul 30 21:44:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93b2ce/im_so_close_to_getting_back_into_double_digits/
---
honestly no drug can compare the rush of seeing those numbers go down
[Rant/Rave] I was so wrong about the calories in chocolate
/u/ratorture [5'9 | 130 | 18.65| Perpetual Recovery Machine|]
Created: Mon Jul 30 21:39:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93b13s/i_was_so_wrong_about_the_calories_in_chocolate/
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Somehow I've always believed with great conviction that a single chocolate bar was between 1550 and 2100 calories each, depending on the brand. Literally every time I would read a label on a chocolate bar and see that 220cal label I would think 'Well that's per serving and what's a serving? Two pieces? So it's 1800 for this sucker. Gotta be. Moving on.'
I feel like such an idiot and a fool. How could I be so wrong?
I'm still like 80% sure I'm right and the labels might be wrong, because otherwise why would I feel this so strongly in my gut? LMAO. They have to be at least 500 cal? There's no way it's lower than at least that. Am I wrong? I'm having an existential crisis.
Protip!
/u/lovelysilliness
Created: Mon Jul 30 20:12:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93afdx/protip/
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If you spend all of your money on notebooks, cat toys, mod podge, and jewelry then you donāt have any money to buy food!
aaaaaaaaaaah I hate myself. #fiscallyirresponsible
Stolen again but got a laugh out of it
/u/landfill7707
Created: Mon Jul 30 20:04:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93adcv/stolen_again_but_got_a_laugh_out_of_it/
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https://i.redd.it/46cb1y5dn4d11.png
Forgot to log a snack at work. Ate cereal after getting home. Realised I went over my calorie limit for the day. Put the cereal away. Didn't B/P.
/u/TreatmentTime [5'9 | 132 | 19.5 | -34.2]
Created: Mon Jul 30 20:03:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93acz6/forgot_to_log_a_snack_at_work_ate_cereal_after/
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Is this what non-disordered eating feels like?
New Psychiatrist
/u/DoNotEatAllTheDonuts [5'7 | Baby Elephant | GW 110| 27F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 19:41:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93a7bf/new_psychiatrist/
---
I just need to vent a bit. My last psychiatrist was amazing. I love her to death but her husband got into a graduate school thats in another state so she had to leave me. I met my new psychiatrist today and OMG. I've flipped between anorexia and bulimia for the past 14 years. She told me that I wouldn't b/p if I ate breakfast and my anxiety would be better. Holy crap you guys! The answer to my eating disorder and all these years of self hatred has been breakfast! Why didn't I try that?
[Discussion] DAE struggle to sleep when fasting?
/u/Shibo_Kitsune
Created: Mon Jul 30 19:35:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93a5lv/dae_struggle_to_sleep_when_fasting/
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Generally speaking, my one best talent is sleeping. I can usually fall asleep in <5 mins easy but when fasting I'm always up so late even though I'm tired as hell throughout the day (no naps) it makes no sense to me š
[Discussion] What are some of your other diagnosis?
/u/comrade_toastboy [Height | 116 | GW 110| UGW 105]
Created: Mon Jul 30 19:33:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93a5a3/what_are_some_of_your_other_diagnosis/
---
I have Schizoaffective, bipolar type and anorexia. I feel alone because I've never met anyone with these two before. So Iw as curious about everyone else.
Stuck in pseudo recovery
/u/ZygomaticArdvark
Created: Mon Jul 30 19:23:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93a2f3/stuck_in_pseudo_recovery/
---
So basically, my recent pattern is to "recover" (aka Binge) for a while until I've noticed weight gain, and then quietly restrict to lose weight again without my support system knowing, realize I'm losing too much and confess that I'm not eating enough, and repeat. I want everything from recovery (health, feeling normal, liking myself, ect) -except for gaining weight. I cannot recover without gaining, and I truly believe that gaining weight and keeping it on would drive me back into severe depression & eventually suicide.
I would be okay maintaining my current weight (\~105, up from my LW of 101) but I don't know how. My weight is constantly fluctuating because I'm either gaining from "recovery" or restricting to lose recovery weight. I've done all the online calculators to figure out my maintenance calories but my brain is deeply stuck on the idea that *I have to eat**** at leas***t* 200-300 calories below maintenanc*e. I don't know how to eat normally or maintain weight. I'm eating normally but not enough, so I am slowly but surely losing weight because I am just so stuck on this ed. I don't know how to stop
I just can't lose control. I can't lose the body I have now. I can't gain weight because when I gain weight I feel overwhelmingly fat and hideous and worthless and like a failed human being. I'm not eating enough, I don't know how to eat enough. It's constantly in the back of my mind that I have to restrict, that I have to keep losing weight no matter what. This ed will kill me if I let it, but attempting weight-restored recovery seems like it would inevitably make me kill myself anyway.
I don't know what to do. I just feel so stuck here.
[Other] Snappin into it once more
/u/pointlessparadox [5'4" | bmi 21 | 16 ftm | gw 105 | cw 125 | hw 160]
Created: Mon Jul 30 19:22:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93a25u/snappin_into_it_once_more/
---
I took a lil break from logging calories for no reason other than pure laziness. Iād still count them in my head to make sure it wasnāt over 1000, but yesterday I went a lil ham on some bbq pork rinds. So, I deleted and redownloaded loseit and made a new account. I managed to make my calorie goal 500 by saying i was 4 feet tall. If only this were true irl, then I wouldnāt be able to reach all those binge foods š©
In other news, I got enlightened vanilla ice cream the other day and have fallen in love. Watch ur back halo top š¤
Appetite suppressants?
/u/LumosErin [5'6" | 134 | 21.8 | GW:115-120 | 20F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 19:15:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93a0iy/appetite_suppressants/
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Okay friendos I need help. Ever since a bad PMS cycle in April Iāve fallen off my OMAD/IF wagon and itās been a problem. Gained about four pounds before summer started and have lost about seven over the course of the summer. Waaaaaaaaaiting to go back to school so I can get back on the wagon.
In the meantime, is there any grocery store that sells appetite suppressants on the cheap; like Walmart, Kroger, etc? (No HEBs in Nacogdoches š) and which ones are the best? Iām tired of overeating and never feeling full.
[Rant/Rave] Who else is in the middle of a relapse?
/u/regblack
Created: Mon Jul 30 19:14:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93a07w/who_else_is_in_the_middle_of_a_relapse/
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It always starts with "oh just this once it's fine" and then you're doing it several days a week then every other day then every day and now my body is just shaking wanting me to purge, i'm just thinking about it while lying in bed and some vom just came up by itself lmao
[Rant/Rave] You ever trigger yourself?
/u/dyingtobepretty [5ft|94lbs|GW: 85lbs|F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 19:06:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/939y35/you_ever_trigger_yourself/
---
Iāll go weeks losing/maintaining weight in healthy ways; working out, drinking more water, eating healthy but filling foods. But then Iāll get busy and forget to eat for a day or two. When I remember I need to eat, Iāll just stare at my flat stomach in the mirror and dread ruining it. Iāll start thinking about that myth (I think itās a myth) about how your body will hold onto fat more if you go a while without eating.
Now Iāve wasted my one day off this week laying in bed because Iām so weak from not eating but so scared to have anything in my tummy. It doesnāt help that I had to stop smoking weed, and I have zero appetite unless Iām high. Iām feeling so sad.
I wish we didnāt need to eat to survive. :/
[Other] when your auditory hallucinations work together with your ED... š
(TW)
/u/gatechnightman [5'8" | CW: 130 | GW: 110 | UGW: 100 | Female]
Created: Mon Jul 30 19:00:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/939wmm/when_your_auditory_hallucinations_work_together/
---
I have bipolar 1 disorder along with my ED and I fairly constantly hear voices, but most of the time itās just chatter.
Well sometimes (like right now) the voices get louder and tell me negative and threatening things like, ācut yourselfā, āyouāre disgustingā, āfat piece of shitā, āfilthy fat pigā, āyou look repulsive... so yeah itās basically like having a meanspo tape yelling at me 24/7. So eating is not an option for the next few days at the least.
wish me luck on my fast, however long it may be...
[Help] This may be a stupid question, but how dangerous is water fasting for 1-2 weeks starting at a normal bmi?
/u/Highoffempty [5'9 | 143.3 | GW: 120 | UGW: 108 | Lbs Lost: 16.7]
Created: Mon Jul 30 18:45:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/939sfq/this_may_be_a_stupid_question_but_how_dangerous/
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I thought fasting was okay to be honest and wasn't dangerous "as long as there is fat to lose"
I also went on r/fasting and kind of got convinced to give it a go. I did a 4 day fast recently and lost 4lbs.
I didn't know there were risks. I didn't know people have died from it. I didn't know your heart could give out. I didn't know that you could fast, then break it and eat food and die a week after you broke the fast
Now I'm super bummed. I know the advice I would get is "just do restriction because it is more sustainable." Unfortunately, I am pretty sure I have a food addiction. When I eat anything eventually I go nuts and binge. Like an alcoholic drinking a little each day without binge drinking. It is almost impossible for me. I just lose and gain and repeat. I don't have control when I'm eating apparently.
That's why I was looking forward to fasting. It's not that hard for me. I enjoy it because I see the progress and I'm not plagued by food obsessions all day. I do keto now..they were even worse before. I just want to get to my ugw finally so I can stop hating myself...but I don't want to die yet.
How dangerous is this? I can't ask a doctor or anything because they'd just tell me that I don't "need" to lose weight because I'm at a normal bmi and then the ed stuff would come out and yeah...I don't want to do that.
Can someone give some advice? I really could go for 2 weeks and I want to
[Help] Iām afraid of being forced in to treatment
/u/idkhowtoeatwhoops
Created: Mon Jul 30 18:44:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/939s92/im_afraid_of_being_forced_in_to_treatment/
---
So I recently graduated out of an anxiety and depression IOP - DBT style. I loved it and felt great.
But Iām still binging and cutting. Frequently.
My psych is concerned and my therapist has brought up that it is āparamount we distinguish these behaviors immediatelyā
I never thought I was at risk for forced res but for some reason it just dawned on me that I am completely out of control and I canāt help myself. I havenāt gone 7 days with out binging in months. I want to cry and just slice myself to ribbons.
Help.
The depression is eating me alive
/u/binya__binya_
Created: Mon Jul 30 18:37:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/939qi1/the_depression_is_eating_me_alive/
---
I have BDD and bulimia with severe social anxiety. I've been unemployed for months because my anxiety is so outrageous. Every time I want to go outside, I binge and purge to deal with my anxiety. I feel like everyone is ridiculing how fat I am so I don't want to go outside. I'm so tired of crying all of the time. I feel so useless and worthless. I'm unsure what to do with my days anymore. I guess this is just a vent. I hate this worthless feeling
[Help] Not sure if this is the best place to post but I have nobody to talk to... help me not relapse
/u/CannonEyes
Created: Mon Jul 30 18:24:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/939n23/not_sure_if_this_is_the_best_place_to_post_but_i/
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I (25F) have been recovering from bulimia for about 7 months. I'm really proud of how far I have come. although I still have ED thoughts and hate my body about 50% of the time, I haven't purged since December and I am very happy about that. There have been a few instances that have triggered me (I hate that word but there it is). The first was getting weighed at a doctor's appointment. I hadn't stepped on the scale in 3+ months and had gained 10 pounds. However, part of my recovery was me making myself gain weight by "bulking" and in this time I put on muscle. Since April I have been cutting but very slowly and without calorie counting because that's how I got myself in the ED mess in the first place. Long story short o actually like my body sometimes and overall have been trying to shift my mindset to trying to be healthy and active, but not freaking out when I have a bad food day and turning it into a B/P cycle.
ANYWAYS. Trigger #2 was tonight. went out for a beer with one of my male friends. We have a somewhat strange dynamic where we make fun of each other a lot so what he said isn't totally out of place so I don't want to make him sound like a dick because he's not, it's just hard to explain our friendship. he's actually a really sweet guy and when I first got into the gym and was losing weight he would compliment me. Anyways tonight he hugged me goodbye and poked me (I legit don't have that much fat, as much as I obsess over it I really don't) and he said , "damn what happened to you, you were doing so good." I asked him if he was serious but then turned it into a joke because I don't know how to actually deal with emotions. he said "you aren't fat at all... or are you?" again just fucking with me and then the subject got changed but now I am obsessing that maybe I've gained weight and it's noticeable?? I was really tiny last summer but I was 6 feet deep into an ED and a mess so of course I am a bit bigger now but I actually think I look good. o actually don't know the point of this point I guess it's a rant but... this community was really there for me in some of the toughest times so I guess I am just looking for some support. I 100% want to keep on track with my recovery
you are all beautiful humans and I hope we all get better someday but for now it's unbelievable how lucky we are to have this community where we all actually "get it"
[Discussion] Reddit communities that have high crossover with proed?
/u/communalistwitch [161 cm | 51.3 kg | BMI: 19.8 (New: 20.28) | 20F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 18:23:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/939mmp/reddit_communities_that_have_high_crossover_with/
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Hey folks, this is mostly a discussion about everyone's perceptions of which reddit communities have the most crossover with proed (i.e. which other subreddits that many/most members of proed would subscribe to, or which subreddits have the most subscribers that also are on proed). Obviously as per Rule 5 we shouldn't directly link any communities (and maybe censoring subreddit names would be a good idea) but this is something I'm curious about and also have guesses on.
I've talked about this on other posts, as have others, and this is a bit of a controversial opinion but I maintain that the crossover between us and subs like the 1200 one, l\*seit, any of the fasting subs are definitely significant (my last relapse got triggered by good old 1200) and many of the members on those subs encourage some disordered behaviour without realizing it/considering it. I don't find that as much on the meal prep related or general fitness subs, even if there's a lot of calorie counting and exercising ā there's just an attitude difference, a focus on health/enrichment on one's life versus just weight loss as fast as possible (and of course, that weird level of discrimination against bigger people, which is far more rampant in those "dieting" subs than any of the eating disorder related ones, in my experience...)
Another one that I think has a lot of crossover with here is the raised by n\*rcs one (and the various affiliate subs for that). I don't think all that big a proportion of subscribers for that community are here, but that many of us here are subscribed to it (or at least may benefit from being subscribed/relate to the experiences ā a lot of us here have issues with emotionally abusive family members, and for some of us the emotional abuse may have intrinsic ties to our disordered eating or body dysmorphia. I mean, every third post is a rant about our family members being inconsiderate/downright horrible).
Aside from those, some subs that may have interesting crossovers with proEDājust based on demographics of eating disordersāmay be the lgbt+ related subs, and possibly the pre-med or med sch\*ol related ones. I mention the former because of the research that shows how EDs are much more prevalent around LGBT populations (as opposed to cishets), and I mention the latter because of the emerging research on health care professionals and eating disorder prevalence (both because of the type A/obsessive-hypercompetitive temperament that is in common with these two populations, and because of the hegemonic rhetoric around health/how size is prioritized over other health indicators, which can encourage disordered eating for some individuals. Like you know how those obesity prevention programs in elementary schools ended up causing an eating disorder spike among children because many of them got executed really shoddily? Some medical and health science programs end up like that but for 20-year olds.)
I named these communities partially because I'm active on them or used to be active on them. I don't have much experience with other corners of reddit, but it would be interesting to hear y'all's opinions. Peace
I canāt NOT eat because my muscles will atrophy.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Mon Jul 30 18:22:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/939mfv/i_cant_not_eat_because_my_muscles_will_atrophy/
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I lift weights. I need to eat protein. I need to eat enough food that I have the energy to lift weights. That means I canāt restrict below X, it means I canāt fast for a week, it means I canāt exercise purge everything.
I have to eat. That means slow, steady weight loss where a single binge can ruin a weekās worth of diligence.
I wanted to eat nothing today, but I had chicken instead.
[Other] Update: Day 12 since downloading carrot and Iām STILL on track!
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine
Created: Mon Jul 30 18:08:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/939ikc/update_day_12_since_downloading_carrot_and_im/
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Thereās just something about the shame of listening to an app insult me and making my avatar fat that really hits me hard. Itās been 12 days since I first posted about carrot and and Iāve managed to stay sub 1000 calories since then!
This app is truly amazing, especially considering the fact that I had previously been stuck in a rut of eating 1200-1600 cals.
That is all. I just wanted to praise the Almighty Carrotā¢ļø.
Giving up.
/u/throwawaybaby401
Created: Mon Jul 30 18:07:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/939i3p/giving_up/
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I hate when everyone lies and says Iām skinny and pretty. Iām just not. I am a worthless human being with no redeeming qualities. I actually am someone who deserves to die, and I will kill myself one day. I know I will. If I could just be skinny that could make up for a little bit. Iām just a fat, ugly girl. I am like fucking Meg from the goddamn Simpsons. I hate every fiber of my being. Worthless, insufficient, failure.
Whatās your fashion sense?
/u/starfighter_slim [| BMI: 27.4 | ]
Created: Mon Jul 30 17:27:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9397c3/whats_your_fashion_sense/
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How do you like to dress? I prefer loose cotton clothing, bland and from second hand stores. Mostly black or darks that wonāt stain. I look like a poor kid from the late 90s. I even wear the smudgy cheap eyeliner to go with my ETERNAL TEEN ANGST!
Hbu?
[Discussion] Cake
/u/river-of-souls
Created: Mon Jul 30 17:21:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9395oc/cake/
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I always see posts where people talk about how there's a slice of cake in the fridge, and they can't stop thinking about it. Meanwhile, I'm wondering how the hell you just casually have cake in your fridge. Like, we never get cake unless it's something super important. But wouldn't you know, for the first time, there's a slice of cake in my fridge downstairs, and it is taking all the willpower I have to not stuff my face with it.
[Rant/Rave] God bless sugar free jello, and pickles
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 17:14:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9393oo/god_bless_sugar_free_jello_and_pickles/
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Honestly I just have so much appreciation for whoever made these things exist. Just ate an entire bowl of lemon jello and half a counter of pickles and Iām still at less than 50 calories for the day and no fucks have been given. Thank you food Jesus šš»
Sonic drive thu drink hack
/u/CrushedOats
Created: Mon Jul 30 17:05:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93917f/sonic_drive_thu_drink_hack/
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Order a cup of ice (40Ā¢) and a shot of slushee syrup (20Ā¢)! Some of the sugar ones are 15-90 cals but they have sugar free cherry, peach, raspberry, blackberry, and mango! And those are all under 10 cals!! Itās a really nice way to beat the summer heat and have a suuuper low cal snack!
My personal favorite is just a medium ice with green apple (15-60 cal) because itās just delish
[Discussion] Who else is constantly moving, fidgeting, etc?
/u/mother_of_penguins
Created: Mon Jul 30 16:53:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/938xtu/who_else_is_constantly_moving_fidgeting_etc/
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I have ADD so itās already an issue but I feel like I have to constantly be doing everything I can to burn even the slightest amount of calories. Even if Iām in bed ārelaxingā or donāt feel well, Iām fidgeting constantly. Luckily I can blame it on the ADD (unintentional song quote).
Can anyone give me a few vegetable recipes?
/u/emptysafehaven
Created: Mon Jul 30 16:51:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/938x9p/can_anyone_give_me_a_few_vegetable_recipes/
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I usually stick to eating small amounts of junk food, but lately I've started to feel guilty about it. A lot of it is sugary or full of carbs. I really need to start eating something more nutritious. The combination of cigarettes, alcohol and starvation are bad enough without the diet based purely on junk food. It's the least I can do.
Anyways, any recipes are greatly appreciated. I don't have anything specific in mind, just low cal vegetable based recipes. Thanks guys
*Protip* for helping the BMs along (TMI?)
/u/Judo_Noob_PTX [5'1" | CW: 126 | BMI: 23.8 | WL: 24 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 16:33:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/938rvm/protip_for_helping_the_bms_along_tmi/
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I think I read this on Reddit about 2 years ago, but laying on your right hand side with your knees tucked up (ie. foetal position) really, REALLY, helps the motions. Even if you don't need a BM it's great for gas. However! Ensure you have privacy. I've been eating so much carrot the past 2 days, and yeah... it don't smell too good ššššµ
[Discussion] What is your most shameful binge eating story?
/u/pb2freak
Created: Mon Jul 30 16:15:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/938mol/what_is_your_most_shameful_binge_eating_story/
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Last week, on my way to work I stopped at a gas station and bought a bunch of binge food including two pints of ben n jerrys, and halfway through sucking down those fuckers whilst parked directly in front of the store, an employee walked out and watched me, cherry garcia smeared across my face and dripping down my shirt. He was on the phone, but clearly also interested in what the hell the girl in the car was doing, licking icecream from the carton like a dog with its snout in the peanutbutter jar. I kept on eating, wiped my face, then texted my boss that I was sick and would not be coming to work, and drove home and cried in bed. I felt really bad about calling in to work, but I knew that Id be painfully bloated, gassy, and unable to move around the rest of the night. I came to work the next day and said Id had the flu all weekend.
I surprise myself every time, thinking "no, THIS is rock bottom."
What was your worst binge? Id really like to hear other peoples experiences.
Triggered when I went abroad
/u/Bebeours
Created: Mon Jul 30 16:08:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/938kfp/triggered_when_i_went_abroad/
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Iām from USA and spent 5 weeks in France recently. It triggered me so bad that I would hardly eat anything on my trip. I felt like Alice in Wonderland when she became a giant. āIt was the best of times, it was the worst of times.ā Literally. I loved it but I felt so uncomfortable there and was glad to be home where I look somewhat average.
[Other] Throwing away all the food in my house
/u/noxadvena
Created: Mon Jul 30 16:07:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/938k7p/throwing_away_all_the_food_in_my_house/
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Even healthy stuff. I want to start over. I want to not have anything to look at..
I want to make it a rule for myself that I only eat in front of others so maybe then I stop bingeing in secret. Or maybe OMAD. I just donāt know what will work... Iām torn between wanting to restrict but being scared of the health risks and I just want to scream and cry and Iām so unhappy. I feel disgusting. If anyone saw what Iāve been eating theyād be disgusted.
Iām going to clean out all of my cupboards today and only keep my protein powders and frozen fruits. Iām thinking Iām going to have a smoothie every day, and thatās it. (Around 300-500 calories) and then if I get invited out to eat or my housemate cooks - Iāll eat proper food on top of that. I donāt know Iāll see how that goes for the next week.
[Tip] New 0kcal, 0 Sugar Energy Drink. Came in 3 flavours (Cotton Candy, Blue Razz, and Sour Apple) at a local Harmons! $1.25 USD
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 15:45:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/938du7/new_0kcal_0_sugar_energy_drink_came_in_3_flavours/
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https://i.redd.it/tzxp5m6do5d11.jpg
[Other] Obviously the first thing that comes to mind
/u/sad_skelly [5'8"|125lbs| F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 15:12:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93839i/obviously_the_first_thing_that_comes_to_mind/
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https://i.redd.it/px5y5izgi5d11.jpg
hyperthyroidism
/u/ashdust [5ft5 | 120 | 19.5 | 22f]
Created: Mon Jul 30 15:12:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/938351/hyperthyroidism/
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Hi, I've posted once before (deleted) and commented a bit, but this time I have an actual question.
Except for one period in my life immediately after moving out/being in my first relationship/starting the pill when I gained weight, I've stayed within a BMI of 17-20 the whole time. BUT I've had body dysmorphia since I was about 10, I binge eat and starve myself and generally have a fucked up relationship with food.
I think I might have hyperthyroidism. I came across this condition for the first time today when I was just searching about, looking for reasons for a fast metabolism. My TDEE is about 1500 but for the past year to 6 months, I'd been eating 2500+ (due to binge eating in between 3 'regular' meals, or I'd eat nothing at all) with no weight gain despite a sedentary lifestyle during this period. The past week I've been at my family home, where I physically cannot binge so I've been eating closer to 1500 and have noticed changes in my appearance already.
I relate to every symptom I've read, including the more unusual visual clues (because tiredness/mood swings etc could be anything) such as the enlarged throat, hair loss and a very fast heart rate.
I'm posting here because the cluster of ED traits I have are telling me not to get it checked out in case it's the reason I've been able to stay slim all this time. But then the curious part of me wants to know...
Does anyone here have any experiences with this, and how it relates to disordered behaviour? Or if anyone has any 'if you experience this, you probably have it' anecdotes?
Please don't take this as a pity-me-please-post, because I haven't been tested and if it's not this, I've been lucky with just a naturally fast metabolism I guess.
Thank you to anyone who takes time to read this.
[Other] Who else finds it easier to not eat when in public
/u/OTSonny
Created: Mon Jul 30 15:04:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9380g4/who_else_finds_it_easier_to_not_eat_when_in_public/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/ProAnorexia/comments/937zxp/am_i_the_only_one_who_finds_it_easier_to_not_eat/
[Discussion] DAE Care More About Net Calories Than Intake?
/u/bruised_ribs [F | 14 | 5'6" | CW: 96.8 | GW 80]
Created: Mon Jul 30 14:53:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/937wza/dae_care_more_about_net_calories_than_intake/
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When I originally fell into anorexia last summer, I was very obsessed with intake itself. My calorie limits were as strong as steel and I would never budge them.
But now, after I have fallen in again after my autumn recover period, I care more about my net calories than just intake. My limits are more flexible, and if I go over them I will compensate by overly exercising. My limits are also higher, mostly to accompany my increased exercise (taekwondo three times a week, taekwondo instructing four to five days, and cross country (3-6 miles) six days a week).
Does anyone care more about net intake than pure intake?
A difference a year can make( spoiler alert: 30 pound difference)
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_ [5'6 | CW 131.5 | GW 120 | UGW 100| F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 14:44:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/937ud8/a_difference_a_year_can_make_spoiler_alert_30/
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I've been feeling really shitty on/off for the past month along with depleting my serotonin & getting stalked/ uncomfortably touched at a festival last weekend...que the self body hatred... & just brain fog....
So I ended up looking at pictures of myself from a trip last year . Got even more curious and looked at my weight log from one year ago... and wow... Over 30 down :) I definitely fluctuated up /down but I've been at a steady decrease since January overall. (Perks of being single & trauma damaged maybe)
This is probably the dumbest thing I have ever posted.
[Rant/Rave] Petrified of my Boyfriend finding me attractive again, in my mind this will mean I got fat. This is a stupid post, but to me this is everything right now. Idk what is happening.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Mon Jul 30 14:39:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/937spd/petrified_of_my_boyfriend_finding_me_attractive/
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I have not been intimate with my BF in months. He does not find my body attractive and I honestly don't mind right now. I have been bingey on and off the past two weekends due to situational events that were just so tempting to eat at. This has happened after a large period of restriction.
Lately he has shown a little interest in me, not so much, but I think he's kinda at this point just accepted it. IDK. But in my brain if he shows even a little interest in my physically it will mean I have gained weight and he finds me attractive to his standards of being thin but "healthy thin."
I am sure I gained a few lbs. Even if half is just water weight but I feel really swollen.
I have had intense migraines the past few days and have only slept and ate sweets. I only want carby sweets. I think I may be getting my period back after two months of none. It feels like my body is doing all it can to have a period if that even makes sense. It's extreme PMS. That is what this feel like. pre-period symptoms x10.
I want to get back into my restriction mentality so bad. I know it's only been two weekends and I have been pretty good during the weeks, but I am scared. I also started lithium so maybe that has some water retention as well.
This sounds so dumb. I know I sound like a complete idiot. I know people want to be found attractive. I am messed up. I just want to be a walking skeleton, honestly, I don't care if people like me physically or find me attractive. I don't want the attention. I just want to be skinny. I am so upset right now. I am probably being over dramatic. Sorry everyone, I just feel like I am a normal weight or something idk. I feel like I gained 20 lb in 2 weeks. All I see if fat, fat, fat. I hate myself. I am maybe just being mental. I just want this to go away.
Oh, its me.
/u/babybreathheart
Created: Mon Jul 30 14:28:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/937pdl/oh_its_me/
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pR3qD3PgGF0&t=6s
Do any of you eat chilly cow?
/u/tinygrl22 [5'1 | CW: 107lbs | 20.2 | 19F |]
Created: Mon Jul 30 14:12:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/937k6b/do_any_of_you_eat_chilly_cow/
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I like chilly cow because the whole tub of chocolate brownie is 190 calories and it actually tastes good and it's a big portion for the amount of calories, i get satisfied from it really quick.
[Discussion] No Binge Day 1: How did it go?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | CW: 60kg| GW: 58kg | UGW: 50kg | LW:56kg | 25F ]
Created: Mon Jul 30 14:10:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/937jdq/no_binge_day_1_how_did_it_go/
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Hey ma gals and ghouls, hope today was good. Today I went to the gym for three hours, ate some Wagamama, walked around the city for ages, ate some eggs and spinach and am now gonna have a cigarette. How have your days been today?
I'm mad at myself for losing control over last weekend, but I'm going to try again this week. I made it 4 days!!! I'm a bit nervous as I'm going out on Friday, but I plan on another 3 hour gym sesh on Wednesday.
How were your days? What did you get up to?
Triggering friend who doesn't realize she has a problem
/u/nope707
Created: Mon Jul 30 13:59:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/937fq5/triggering_friend_who_doesnt_realize_she_has_a/
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So I have a friend that makes me really confused and worried these days. She always says that she "wants to be anorexic" which isn't really cool but anyways, it's almost like she has an ED but doesn't notice it. It triggers me pretty badly as well. She is underweight, thinks that 500cals a day is normal and tells me to eat like that as well. She mentioned c/s but said she did it because the tea she drank with the cookie she was eating was too hot. She told me to purge but then told me it was a joke (...haha..?) Other than these she's a great great friend but I just don't know how to handle the situation, any advice would be appreciated.
[Rant/Rave] I'm So Afraid. Any Advice Appreciated...
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Mon Jul 30 13:50:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/937d61/im_so_afraid_any_advice_appreciated/
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This isn't totally ED related, but it partly is. I cant post stats because I'm on mobile. Sorry. ): Anyway, I'm 5'2, 24yo female, 94lbs. I got a call today from my OBGYN that abnormal cells were found on my cervix. I'm being referred to another OBGYN for a colposcopy and biopsy next month. I'm so terrified of what's going on and what I'll be told and it's making my ED 100x worse.
I hit a LW last month of 90 lbs and it took a LOT of hard work. Now, my appetite is completely gone. All I can think about is what if i have cancer? What else could it be? I know no one is a doctor here and I'm not asking for medical advice. I'm just so scared.
A fucked up part of me is happy because now I'll lose weight even more easily because of this anxiety. FUCK.
[Rant/Rave] Non-stop PMS
/u/chezpajama
Created: Mon Jul 30 13:45:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/937bh4/nonstop_pms/
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My tits feel like theyāre about to fall off and Iām hungry all the time.
Still restricting, but to 1200-1400 vs my usual 500-900. (TDEE is 2100)
I guess fat loss releases estrogen into the bloodstream which is whatās causing these symptoms.
I have 18 lbs to go and I want to cry whenever I think about living like this until then.
Every day is a struggle.
[Rant/Rave] ED squad goals
/u/throneofweigh [5'7 | 74 kg/163lbs |]
Created: Mon Jul 30 13:44:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/937ax1/ed_squad_goals/
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I'm living with a few people right now and all of them either have or have had eating disorders as well. This wouldn't be a problem except...they're all better at losing weight than I am, and even thinking that makes me feel horrible. One girl here weighs more than me but literally has the perfect figure, no stomach, thick as hell in all the right places, amazing face,etc. and everyone else weighs less than and is prettier than me. One girl has lost almost 50 lbs in two months, one has guys and girls practically breaking down their door to be with them, and one has literally never been above 120 lbs in their entire life and then there's me, the fat ass bitch that nobody in their right mind would find attractive. I just want to binge until I puke and never eat again at the same time.
Sigh. I wish. [Male thinspo]
/u/hellojoshua [5'6 | UGW: 114 | M]
Created: Mon Jul 30 13:32:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93779e/sigh_i_wish_male_thinspo/
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https://imgur.com/a/95yNujl
[Rant/Rave] When can science just let me choose where i'm fat
/u/Lover_of_Chickens
Created: Mon Jul 30 13:18:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9372iw/when_can_science_just_let_me_choose_where_im_fat/
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Ok i'm in a mood lol like i looked in the mirror and have lost so much weight in my chest between the collarbone area and my boobs that you can literally see my rib cage so clearly and almost grossly there....but then my face still is like so chubby and my ARMS. can i just tell you guys how much i hate my arms they are like the arms of a mom who has had 48230 children and now maybe just eats straight butter??? will i ever have stick arms??????? if we can't magically get rid of it can we at least like move it around like on a character customization or something LOL
I wish I was comfortable in my body, and I'm so fucking lonley it hurts.
/u/almostdrunkkk [5'9 | 187 | 27.8 | -0 | M]
Created: Mon Jul 30 13:09:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/936zpn/i_wish_i_was_comfortable_in_my_body_and_im_so/
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I can't do it anymore. I look at myself some days and think I look great, other times I feel like an absolute piece of shit. I have a few people that I flay football with occasionally, but no one to call a friend.
I workout regularly, mostly lifting weights. My mates so I have a "rugby body", whatever that means, but it's not the body I want.
When I go on Instagram and look around, I just want to be one of those guys with a small waist and very visible abs. How I see it is that if other people find that attractive enough to leave a like, that's what people like to see, right??
Idk, it's just getting very overwhelming. I miss the younger me who didn't care as much about what people thought of me. The new me sucks.
And idk if I set a flair yet but here: 20/m/83kg/180cm.
Just got bronkaid
/u/nadaste
Created: Mon Jul 30 13:06:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/936yma/just_got_bronkaid/
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So I got bronkaid yesterday, and today I decided to start with 1/4 of a pill because Iām a HUGE lightweight! (Got stumbling drunk off of 1/4 a beer- itās a blessing and a curse) it gave me a burst of energy but Iām still a little hungry. I took it about an hour and a half ago. Should I take another quarter?
Rare diet sodas?
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Mon Jul 30 13:04:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/936y0g/rare_diet_sodas/
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Diet soda is such a large part of my diet at the moment that I'm always on the lookout out for rare flavors. Right now my favorite is Sprite zero cranberry. What other hard to find diet soda flavors should I try? What are your favourites?
[Rant/Rave] No justification for eating more.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 88.6lbs| 14.2 | Male]
Created: Mon Jul 30 13:03:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/936xso/no_justification_for_eating_more/
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My weight held this week at 88.5lbs despite eating barely 1000kcal/day. My heartrate is 50 (I have to get weekly blood work and ECG), while last week it was 40; 37 the week before. I probably only feel exhausted and lazy because I'm smoking so much weed.
I know I need to eat more. I don't want to stay where I am, or keep going back. I know I can allow myself to eat things I won't allow myself to have. My doctor is going to put me in hospital if I lose anymore weight.
FML.
[Rant/Rave] No justification for eating more.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 88.6lbs| 14.2 | Male]
Created: Mon Jul 30 13:03:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/936xqj/no_justification_for_eating_more/
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My weight held this week at 88.5lbs despite eating barely 1000kcal/day. My heartrate is 50 (I have to get weekly blood work and ECG), while last week it was 40; 37 the week before. I probably only feel exhausted and lazy because I'm smoking so much weed.
I know I need to eat more. I don't want to stay where I am, or keep going back. I know I can allow myself to eat things I won't allow myself to have. My doctor is going to put me in hospital if I lose anymore weight.
FML.
[Rant/Rave] No justification for eating more.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 88.6lbs| 14.2 | Male]
Created: Mon Jul 30 13:03:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/936xmx/no_justification_for_eating_more/
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My weight held this week at 88.5lbs despite eating barely 1000kcal/day. My heartrate is 50 (I have to get weekly blood work and ECG), while last week it was 40; 37 the week before. I probably only feel exhausted and lazy because I'm smoking so much weed.
I know I need to eat more. I don't want to stay where I am, or keep going back. I know I can allow myself to eat things I won't allow myself to have. My doctor is going to put me in hospital if I lose anymore weight.
FML.
weird origin story that has basically served as fuel for my restriction.
/u/biblicalirony [5'3 | cw: 174 | hw: 234 | lw: 170 | gw: 115 | 15f]
Created: Mon Jul 30 12:58:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/936vyg/weird_origin_story_that_has_basically_served_as/
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so there's this guy that i've had an on-and-off crush on for like the past two years. i can safely say that i'm over him but a few months ago, i told him about my feelings and he rejected me. which is what i expected but a bit after i told him about my feelings, his best friend who hadn't known about my feelings was venting to me about how he found out the guy that i had a crush on was crushing on his girlfriend. LMAO. so ofc i got insecure af bc not only is this girl thinā¢ but she's managed to effortlessly attract all the boys in my friend group. when i told my crush i liked him i was probably nearing 200 pounds so to find out he liked someone that was in every way not me made me feel incredibly shitty about myself. anyway, we're still on good terms but a bit before the end of the school year he told me he was going to a different school and it was out-of-state. he said he'd come back and visit every so often but that being said, he acknowledged we probably weren't going to see another for a while.
anyway i was sad as fuck but once the school year finally ended, i realized that i was done with feeling fat and feeling bad about myself and have gone down around 30 pounds since then and i dont plan on slowing down the rate at which im stopping. i don't think i still have feelings for the guy but the next time i see him which probably won't be for another months, i want him to be so taken back to the point where he won't recognize me. it's pathetic but in my head is this self-actualized version of me that's charismatic, quirky, funny, and sweet and it's even more pathetic to even rationalize that by being thin, i'll finally be all those things but i literally crave the idea of having others being attracted to me so much. the worst part is that there's a part of me that does think i'm charismatic or quirky or funny or sweet but because i'm fat, no one else really sees me that way lol? well, at least guys. it's not even like anyone makes or has made fun of me because of how fat i am but i feel like there's so much in my life that's missing as a result of being overweight and i've rationalized this notion that by being thin i'll finally be happy. all my life i've felt so unloveable because of my weight. when i was younger and in elementary, i distinctly remember there was this one boy in my class who literally told me verbatim that never in my life would anyone ever find me attractive and it's still stuck in my brain to this day. and god, oh god, can't i wait to fucking show them. :)
Curb Appetite?
/u/_potatohime
Created: Mon Jul 30 12:44:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/936rns/curb_appetite/
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Ok so basically I chew gum like ALL the time to help curb my appetite. Plus it has a flavor so I can feel like Iām kinda eating and trick myself into feeling full ??
I also smoke cigarettes, I love the lightheaded feeling if I smoke during a fast and I just like smoking in general.
I know a lot of people drink coffee, but whenever I drink coffee on an empty stomach it makes me want to puke so I avoid it. Iām looking for some other methods to curb my appetite, I heard caffeine tablets or nicotine tablets are good but I wanted some more opinions?
Thanks guys, I hope you all have a lovely day, and youāre all beautiful x
[Discussion] Grocery store miso recommendations?
/u/tangerine_twist [5'8 | GW: 130 | 23.6 | 19F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 12:35:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/936oq1/grocery_store_miso_recommendations/
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I see people here mention miso soup packets a lot. I love miso at restaurants and I was just wondering your favorite brand so I donāt accidentally buy a crappy one!
[Discussion] Bing eating and OMAD
/u/RedFolly
Created: Mon Jul 30 12:24:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/936la0/bing_eating_and_omad/
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Iāve just started OMAD about a week ago. Iāve had a really hard time not turning my one meal a day I to a one binge a day. Iāve had problems with binge eating since I was a kid and Iām high school I started purging to lose weight. It worked and I lost about 70 pounds. Iām not able to purge much anymore because Iāve moved in with my partner and thereās not really a good way to do it with him around. Iāve gained around 60 pounds this year from binging and not being able to purge.
Iām trying OMAD to try to get my weight under control. Has anyone had much success with control of binge eating with OMAD? Any tips?
DAE work in an office that's disordered AF?
/u/hwi__noree [5'6 | 125 | 20.2 | ~ | F | GW: 110]
Created: Mon Jul 30 12:00:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/936dej/dae_work_in_an_office_thats_disordered_af/
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I work in a small office with all women, and it's an ENDLESS stream of , "I need to go on a liquid diet" / "I can't believe I'm eating this cookie" / "Is that all you're having for lunch??"
And to top it off, someone recently put a magnet on the fridge that says (im not joking) "Namaste AWAY From Cupcakes" .........like. why do people thing this is normal. I mean, it's not normal to eat cupcakes everyday, but it frustrates me how normalized (and moralized) this negativity is. Also, food and dieting comes up at least once a day (and I work in an open office). it's not so much triggering as it is exhausting to hear about. sigh
This is so accurate.
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Mon Jul 30 11:53:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/936ay5/this_is_so_accurate/
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https://i.redd.it/jxo6wzhmc3d11.png
Donating Blood: Lose weight and do some good - at the same time!
/u/HowAboutThatUsername
Created: Mon Jul 30 11:51:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/936agb/donating_blood_lose_weight_and_do_some_good_at/
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Hello, my fellow masters of EDisasters!
I went to donate blood today, and upon doing some research I found that by donating 1 pint of blood (the regular amount), [your body will burn about 650 calories](https://www.medicaldaily.com/why-donating-blood-good-your-health-246379)!
So, if saving lives is not incentive enough - this little piece of information should do the trick. ;)
I'm not pro eating disorder AT ALL, but I thought this was the right place to post this. I drew how it feels
/u/omorii
Created: Mon Jul 30 11:50:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9369zi/im_not_pro_eating_disorder_at_all_but_i_thought/
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https://i.redd.it/djldrumai4d11.jpg
[Discussion] ACV drinkers, do you mix it with water or shot it? DAE enjoy shotting it?
/u/RDSregret
Created: Mon Jul 30 11:39:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9366kr/acv_drinkers_do_you_mix_it_with_water_or_shot_it/
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I know it's recommended to mix with water to stop burning, but how many do this? I love vinegar and can drink it no problem, so I do for convenience. How damaging is it over the long-term?
[Other] 5 calories blueberry lemonade popsicle
/u/Crotchetylilkitten
Created: Mon Jul 30 11:30:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9363ir/5_calories_blueberry_lemonade_popsicle/
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https://i.redd.it/oh3p0lvoe4d11.jpg
So long, and thanks for all the low-cal fish
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | cw:gross| bmi: ~19 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 11:26:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9362cn/so_long_and_thanks_for_all_the_lowcal_fish/
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Well ProED, its been a great three years with you. And ive spent way too much time here through all the ups and downs of my disorder. But I'm a 24 year old woman, I'm taking my health seriously, and I'm letting you go.
I don't know if anyone reading this is on the fence about recovery or not. I'm not gonna tell you i can happily eat just one slice of pizza now and effortlessly balance my day with healthy foods. I'm not gona say I just decided i didnt want to be underweight anymore and am totally happy with a normal body weight all the sudden. thats not true.
But what is true: i found a therapist and dietician who specialize in EDs, and they took me seriously. They believed me when i told them my lowest weight and didnt criticize me for being borderline underweight when i did my intake. They started things off slow. I was allowed to keep counting calories if i wanted to. I was allowed to know my weight at weigh-ins if i wanted to. I can actually eat three meals and three snacks a day now, and im blown away that i havent immediately gained ten pounds in the last month because of it (in all honestly, i lost some weight for a bit. turns out my body is still catching up with actually eating again)
I can decide to go out to eat last minute if i want to without reworking my calories for the day. I can leave my scale in the closet without panicking. I can eat junk food on boozey nights out with friends and not binge. I'm finally at a weight where i can donate blood again, which makes me so happy. And soon I'll be able to donate bone marrow too. Speaking of bones, im getting enough food and nutrients now to try and repair some of the bone loss I managed from restricting on and off for the last six years. Turns out theres only a small window left for me to repair it, but i can, at the least.
im not trying to make this a big dumb motivational speech that some anorexic girl would make at the end of her lifetime movie. Im really not. Im not trying to ~convert~ anyone. I just want to give an honest peak into what recovery is like. For anyone who wants to know.
If you have any questions, Ill answer. But after today, ill be asking the mods to ban me. I want to live a better life and all that gay shit.
thanks for all of it.
[Discussion] āiām not binging, itās a mukbangā
/u/innocentkitty [5'1.5 | CW: 90 | 17.0 | GW: 85]
Created: Mon Jul 30 11:14:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935yru/im_not_binging_its_a_mukbang/
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anyone else constantly telling themselves this/convincing themselves theyāre stephanie buttermore to justify eating an entire takeaway menu in one sitting lmao
Pins and needles in my hands?
/u/misslakemountain
Created: Mon Jul 30 11:12:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935y38/pins_and_needles_in_my_hands/
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Does anyone else experience that their hands "fall asleep" when they're restricting or fasting?
I did a 48 hour fast and made sure to take vitamin supplements and salt, while drinking decent amounts of water. And as usual I get pins and needles in my hands randomly during the day or night. Sometimes happens to the feet too. Pretty awkward sitting at my desk at work while shaking my hands trying to make it stop lol
[Other] Parental Support, Lacking
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 11:08:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935wmt/parental_support_lacking/
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I want to express my highest sympathies to anyone else who has parents that either donāt care about your ED, or care too much. Mine fall on the latter. My mum actually was upset when I went into recovery for the first time.
I was on the beginning stages of organ failure and probably shouldāve been dead. However, my mum completely thrived on the attention it had given her. Anyone whoād listen knew about how sick I was. So when I entered a thriving recovery, she actually made up lies about me to others and made every effort she could to trigger me into a relapse. My stepdad made it his āpoint of attackā, and to this day belittles me with that part of my life.
Now Iām in a relapse. I hope theyāre happy.
starting up my ED again.
/u/earlgreyytea
Created: Mon Jul 30 10:59:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935tj6/starting_up_my_ed_again/
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hey. i guess i should start by saying my name is Rylan and explaining a few things. Iāve had an ED for a reallllly long time. I developed mild BED around the age of 8, this was around the time my mom tried to kill herself twice and my dad started bingeing regularly as well. And i was a pretty active kid so i didnāt gain very much weight. Then when i was in 4th-5th grade i got bullied pretty severely and a lot of other shit happened too and the summer going into 6th grade i gained a significant amount of weight. At this time i was about 5ā5ā and like 150lbs and then around this time i started to restrict. I began eating 1200 calories a day and exercising about 4 times a week and i began to slowly lose weight (now would be a good time to add that i have hypothyroidism that i just recently got diagnosed w and am beginning to treat) so i never got very great results from my attempts to lose weight. So seventh and eighth grade rolls around and the bullying continues once more and itās even worse now. At this point i was around 5ā7ā and around 175 lbs from puberty (late bloomer) and at this point the bingeing was still really mild and iād only binge occasionally. Then the summer going into 9th grade it got pretty bad. I began fasting. If fast for a day or two and then iād eat like 500 calories the next day but i wouldnāt be active at all. I lost a bit of weight. I got down probably to 155 at 5ā7ā. Then 9th grade started and it was actually really great. I made a ton of friends and was the class president and even won freshman homecoming queen that year. I felt pretty good so my ED quieted down for a bit. I also should mention that iāve always had really severe depression and anxiety my whole life, as well as ADD but that got diagnosed later on. I was diagnosed w clinical depression and anxiety when i was 5, and itās slowly gotten worse as i grow up. Anyways, freshman year was great blah blah, and i would only restrict when i was sad and a bit during Volleyball session which i played both my freshman and sophomore year. I also kind of just ate pretty intuitively at this time but i would overeat at times and i gained a bit of weight. I was probably 165lbs and 5ā7ā at the time. Then the summer going into sophomore year was awful. Idk why i had like no friends and it was hell. My depression was really bad and so was the restriction. It would be i would consistently binge for a few days and then fast or eat like 400 calories or less for a few more along with some exercise. Sophomore year started and this was probably one of the worst years of my life, besides this year. My ED hit itās peak during this time especially during volleyball season. I was fasting regularly and i got down to 145lbs at 5ā7ā which i guess in my ED after puberty was my lowest weight. I would pass out in volleyball games and practices and my coach was concerned but i was always normal/overweight so nobody thought it was about me eating. People wondered why i didnāt eat at lunch but nobody really said anything. I got super depressed during this time and it was around February that really bad bingeing started. Iām talking about like 7000+ calories per binge and i would purge after almost every binge but i wasnāt exercising. I just went crazy. I was out of control and ate so much. I gained a LOT of weight. By march i was like 190lbs and 5ā7ā. I was devastated. I planned to kill myself on May 7th, 2017- the day before my 16th birthday. I planned it all out months prior - also i should add i was on medication at the time but it didnāt do shit- and i wrote letters and started giving away stuff and i knew i was going to slit my wrists. But then for some reason i just didnāt. I knew it would kill my mom- literally she probably wouldāve killed herself. And for some reason i didnāt. Idk why. My depression didnāt get any better and then little did i know, in a few months my life would be turned upside down. I started restricting again in attempts to lose weight but it became really compensatory. I would binge, so i would self harm and then not allow myself to eat for two days. But then iād be so hungry that i just had to binge and it was bad. I would purge constantly. I would pass out all the time, get really bad nose bleeds from stomach acid sitting in my nose, and i pulled a muscle in my chest multiple times from purging. Then my dad said heād like to see me start therapy again because my parents knew i had a problem with bingeing but it really wasnāt that big of a deal- they knew about my depression though. So i went and this was around August 2017- and i saw a therapist and i told her about my problems with food at eating. She recommended me to their IOP program (intensive outpatient 3days a week for 3 hours) and starting it was awful. I was not honest about what i was doing and i pretended everything was fine. We had to eat dinner and snack there and i would purge on the way home because i drove myself. That went on for a few months until i was bamboozled into inpatient. I had been to the hospital a few times for heart problems- one time i had a mini heart attack from really low potassium levels, and just stuff like that and then pulled muscles from purging. But this time it was residential. Meanwhile- this whole time i was still significantly overweight- not yet obese but i was around 190lbs at 5ā7ā. So they told me 1 day before i left for ERC in denver that i could go to res or my parents were kicking me out. At the time also i was kinda in school, i was doing online but i was failing my classes and just not doing them. So i went from December 4th, 2017 - March 2nd 2018. Yes, i spent christmas in there. Yes, i had a feeding tube despite the fact that i was overweight (i refused all of my meals because most of the patients were severely underweight and of course eating disorders are competitive) and they only gave me enough nutrin everyday to keep my weight stable. Reguardless i spent almost 3 months in the residential level and then i spent around a month or so in PHP(partial hospitalization) and then i went home. As soon as i got home i relapsed and tried to lose weight but instead it led to bingeing because my hunger cues actually work now. So i ended up gaining a lot of weight again. During this time i didnāt know my weight cause my parents were super protective and hid the scale and i had no access to anything. Electronics were limited and so was time in my room, etc. The past few months i actually started to see a new therapist and were getting family therapy and actually it helped for a bit. I started to recover actually and like completely, and i was really happy. For some reason though like the last week or two iāve been super depressed and needing my ED again. I donāt think i ever fully satisfied my ED because i never lost a lot of weight. I long to be so thin, that people are worried that i might die any second. I know thatās awful, but i want so badly to fit my hand around my upper arm with no struggle, and see my hipbones clearly. Right now i am 221.1 lbs and 5ā7ā. I weighed myself last night and i am extremely ashamed of myself. Iām beginning my ED again, but this time i will do it right. My UGW is 188.1 lbs. That is the low end of a healthy weight for my height. One pound from underweight. Once i get there of course my UGW will change- but my cgw for now is 200lbs. I still see a dietician and have my weight monitored so i have to be careful. Iām only allowing myself to lose 1 lb per week, and waterload before appointments with my dietician. Right now my calorie goal for the day is 1,770 to lose 1lb per week. Sorry this was so long and all over the place. I need help staying on track. Thanks for reading.
-Rylan 5ā7ā | 221.1 lbs | 17F | UGW- 188.1lbs
[Other] Advice needed.
/u/ahrahtnamas
Created: Mon Jul 30 10:49:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935qi6/advice_needed/
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I suffer from major depression and panic disorder.
I see a therapist once a week.
My primary care doctor every two weeks.
And a psychiatrist once a month for meds.
At my last therapy session it was brought up to me that my therapist and psychiatrist had talked to each other on the phone and they disliked the fact that I see my primary care doctor every two weeks and they think I should see him less often. During my checkups he checks to see if Iāve been self harming, if I have heāll check the cuts to make sure they arenāt infected, makes sure Iām safe, listens to my heart, gets updated on my meds and just makes sure Iām okay in general. I like these appointments because it makes me feel better to touch base with him and Iām happy to go every two weeks if thatās how often he wants to see me. The fact that he cares enough to see me so often made me more comfortable and open with him and honestly made my whole recovery process a bit easier. I kind of feel like itās a bit shitty of my psychiatrist and therapist to tell me that I need to see him less often. Thoughts?
If my pants are getting tight doesn't that mean I'm gaining weight??
/u/Kitkat9229
Created: Mon Jul 30 10:49:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935qfu/if_my_pants_are_getting_tight_doesnt_that_mean_im/
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On mobile, please tag with rant/rave.
So I've been attempting to recover for the last couple months or so and it's been a combo of ups and downs. In this time I haven't seen my weight once since my boyfriend threw out the scale (at the request of my dietician), and my dietician does blind weights when I see her. I went to Europe in between this time and I was convinced I'd gained at least 5 pounds since my pants were all tight and they were loose before I left. But my dietician said my weight had remained stable. At this point my "fat pants" are now tight and so I'm starting to lose my shit. The logical part of my brain knows that I'm on my period and tmi, I haven't been shitting regularly so that could be a part of it too. I'm so fed up with feeling like I'm crazy because if my clothes are consistently not fitting, doesn't that mean I'm gaining weight??
I need to see the doctor anyways so I moved up my appointment to today so I can finally be weighed. A big part of me feels so guilty because I know this is only setting me back in recovery but I can't take it anymore. I feel huge and I want some validation that I'm not going crazy. And if the scale doesn't say that I've gained weight then I'll know it's just my ED making me feel this way. Has anyone else experienced something like this during recovery?
[Rant/Rave] In less than 2 months ive lost about 3 inches off my waist.
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Mon Jul 30 10:44:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935ouk/in_less_than_2_months_ive_lost_about_3_inches_off/
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And if that doesn't fuel me idk what will.
[Goal] Has anyone heard of The Master Cleanse? People usually lose 20lb in the first 10 days
/u/Exoarmyl
Created: Mon Jul 30 10:37:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935mpc/has_anyone_heard_of_the_master_cleanse_people/
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I was looking around for ways to lose 45lbs as fast as possible, and I stumbled across [The Master Cleanse](https://themastercleanse.org/#). I watched some videos and read some posts about it, and there are real people who posted throughout their journey of this diet who have lost a substantial amount of weight in such a short amount of time. [(This one person lost 70lbs in 42 days!!)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnuqk8TGJD4)
This cleanse honestly seems like a gift from God to me. I've never seen this mentioned on this subreddit before, so I just wanted to know if anyone has heard of this and/or have tried it before!
[Rant/Rave] My stomach hurts.
/u/lectisternium
Created: Mon Jul 30 10:28:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935jyj/my_stomach_hurts/
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What is it about visiting family that makes all restriction go out the window?
Last time I saw these folks it was Xmas. I think my body and mind were just like "This house again! Eat everything!" And the carbs. Fuck there is a lot of carbs here.
My stomach hurts because I binged yesterday and today. I totally threw myself out of ketosis. I'll be ok though. There are still hours left today and then there's the rest of the week (thankfully leaving tomorrow or early Wednesday morning).
Hugs to everyone.
Just a shout out to gum. Whats your go to?
/u/Roomhunter
Created: Mon Jul 30 10:25:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935iqb/just_a_shout_out_to_gum_whats_your_go_to/
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I know this post might be a little extra but I didnt realize how great gum is for curbing appetite and binging. I chew sugar free cinnamon gum like a mad woman and ever since i've had more control. What about you?
How much water weight would I gain if I ate more normally?
/u/WWEisVegan
Created: Mon Jul 30 10:21:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935hn7/how_much_water_weight_would_i_gain_if_i_ate_more/
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Basically, I am terrified of water weight. It's my biggest fear around raising my calorie allowance/intake at all. I eat around 500 calories a day, if I doubled to 1000 is there any way to determine the how much water weight I gained in the beginning before it balanced out?
Anti-binge accountability buddy?
/u/solidpenis
Created: Mon Jul 30 10:16:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935fz2/antibinge_accountability_buddy/
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[removed]
Water weight
/u/sorrywhatshappening
Created: Mon Jul 30 10:14:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935f84/water_weight/
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How do I know if the weight Iām losing is actual fat and not just water weight?
Metamucil!!!!!
/u/sinestrosmight
Created: Mon Jul 30 10:12:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935egw/metamucil/
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I haven't seen a whole lot of talk about Metamucil on here but I wanted to preach the good word about it!
I never gave it a second thought before because Metamucil always seemed like a product for seniors, but I thought I'd give it a try after watching [Hank Green's video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3ALI1mTSw4) and it's a complete game changer!
All the fiber in Metamucil keeps me feeling full and bloated like nothing else! Completely kills my appetite and desire to binge!
Also I guess the fiber improves the confidence of my poops so that's another benefit!
Overall 10/10 product! Thanks Hank!
Alright, which one of you was feeling creative?
/u/kinlinlin
Created: Mon Jul 30 10:03:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/935blg/alright_which_one_of_you_was_feeling_creative/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/92z9r4/everyone_keeps_talking_about_the_best_damn/
I weighed in 4 pounds heavier today
/u/babybreathheart
Created: Mon Jul 30 09:32:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9351yp/i_weighed_in_4_pounds_heavier_today/
---
I'm never eating again
[Help] Terrified of weight gain while traveling
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Mon Jul 30 09:03:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/934tal/terrified_of_weight_gain_while_traveling/
---
Hi All! Wondering if anyone has advice on not gaining weight while traveling? I have a bunch of weekend trips planned and I donāt want them to offset my progress. Any advice?
[Rant/Rave] An ED parable: never trust a fart
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Mon Jul 30 08:58:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/934rfq/an_ed_parable_never_trust_a_fart/
---
Especially if youāve barely eaten in the past two days apart from a chinese takeaway curry. Rip me. Currently sitting on the toilet for the foreseeable future.
Thanks for the restricting motivation Zach š (my friend is tiny)
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 174lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 08:55:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/934qm1/thanks_for_the_restricting_motivation_zach_my/
---
https://imgur.com/xARuU8U
[Discussion] Help putting together an 'emergency anti-binge' care package?
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Mon Jul 30 08:43:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/934n3i/help_putting_together_an_emergency_antibinge_care/
---
Hey so I'm trying to put together like a little package I can keep in my purse in case I feel like going to buy or going to eat binge food. I've already thought of gum, Listerine, clementine, a tiny list of instructions what to do, caffeine pills. Anything else I should put in?
I told myself Iād never be more than 60kg again
/u/Lucifers_Girlfriend
Created: Mon Jul 30 07:58:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/934a17/i_told_myself_id_never_be_more_than_60kg_again/
---
Ever.
I just stood on the scale though. 61.8 kg
Fuck me.
[Rant/Rave] The never-ending cycle.
/u/alyssarach [5'9| CW: Disgusting | GW 100 | WL -74 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 07:44:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9346bi/the_neverending_cycle/
---
Binging up 75 pounds
Restricting off the 75 pounds
Binging and purging until you feel sores in your throat and have cuts on your knuckles
Back to binging
Back to purging
Back to full on restricting
Purging every single thing eaten for over a week
Full on binge for weeks on end
Fasting for a full week out of pure hatred for the binging
...
I feel like a failure every single day and that I will never make it to where I want to be. I just keep going in this up and down cycle.
Plateau. Wtf am I doing wrong?!
/u/SlutForGarrus [5ā6ā|CW:151|HW:240lbs|GW1:130|GW2:118|F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 07:37:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9344gq/plateau_wtf_am_i_doing_wrong/
---
As indicated, I am stuck and Iām losing my damn mind. Please help me figure out why basic math and physics are failing me.
I use the LoseIt app. I have it set to lose 1.5 lbs/wk (I gave myself a ārealisticā weekly goal when I started using it because I foolishly failed to realize Iād be falling back down the ED rabbit hole.)
So, if I were *at* my calories for the day each day, Iād supposedly lose 1.5lbs/wk. I have only gone over once (+3498cals) 12 was ago.
Iām always an additional 2-4K calories under each week, 3500 under most of the time.
I weigh my food. I log every bite. I overestimate calories ingested and underestimate calories burned in exercise. I have my current weight in the app and itās allotting me a whopping 1237 calories per day, but I seldom get to 1000. I do cardio and weights 4-5 days/wk. I *was* losing 2.5+lbs/wk.
Yet, somehow, Iāve only lost approximately 3 lbs in about the last month. (I try to only weigh myself about once a month). Less than 1/3 what Iāve been losing previously.
I canāt imagine Iām putting on muscle that quickly, so whatās going wrong? Iām hydrated, taking vitamins, and have had a couple of very high cal days (16-1900 cal, which of course was preceded and followed by restricting and exercise to maintain my weekly deficit.)
What am I missing here?
[Discussion] anyone else super scared of saggy boobs/skin?
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 07:01:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/933v2h/anyone_else_super_scared_of_saggy_boobsskin/
---
so I want to lose about 30-35lbs total from where Iām at now. I have a tummy, stretch marks on my thighs and love handles, and i have big boobs which I HATE. They make me look huge up top and unbalanced. I want them to shrink but at the same time im super afraid of them becoming super saggy or just like skin. Most of the tissue is dense so it probably wonāt be like that or too bad but Iām still afraid. I donāt want to be even more unattractive or ugly but I also need to lose the weight regardless because how ugly I look at a higher weight. Iām afraid maybe Iāll have saggy tummy or pubis skin, arms or legs.
Iām genuinely horrified and extremely worried about this. I know that itās best to take time losing weight so your skin can adjust, and also that usually itās not so bad when itās not that much weight but idk what to expect.
I donāt know what to expect and Iām scared. I wanna go down 4 cup sizes like I used to be. I am afraid of everything and donāt even know what to do with this fear.
I would love to hear others experiences or feelings on this topic.
[Help] Recovery calories / food question
/u/Yatessc [6'5" Male/30 | SW 434 lbs| CW 196 lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 30 07:00:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/933uvb/recovery_calories_food_question/
---
I'm currently trying to get back to a normal weight but no matter how much I eat I keep losing. I'm a 6-5 30 year old male and I'm eating above 5,000 calories a day but I still lose. Each time I increase by calories I lose more so I don't know what to do. I'm trying to maybe get to 220 lbs but now I'm down to 195.4 lbs this morning. I'm doing the zero carb diet (all food from animals) and OMAD (one meal a day) if that makes a difference.
This morning while making my breakfast omad my heart was racing and then I almost blacked out. I waited till I could kinda see and made my way to a chair. Once I was sitting it seemed to clear up. Even an hour later my vision isn't 100%.
Do you think it's the type of food or the omad that's stoping me from gaining? Also WTF is up with the black out. I had the same thing before but that was at work and I was restricting then.
Last month of weighing https://imgur.com/a/ZkKtR3b
Food for today https://imgur.com/a/u4od72M
Food from yesterday https://imgur.com/a/wRgouEz
[Discussion] Does anyone else do OMAD?
/u/narkreturn
Created: Mon Jul 30 06:47:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/933rnw/does_anyone_else_do_omad/
---
Im someone who canāt do the whole eat lots of tiny meals throughout the day. Once I taste food I just have to keep eating and I canāt stop it!
I find I can actually handle not eating all day and genuinely enjoy the empty stomach. I was thinking of starting OMAD and fasting 23-24 hours a day and then eat between a two hour window. Aiming to eat some most days between 200-500 and other days 800-1000 in order to reduce binges.
Has anyone had success in this?
Back To School
/u/Kaylawantstodie
Created: Mon Jul 30 06:37:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/933p5r/back_to_school/
---
I low key hate school. But Iām away from the house for 11 hours and itās easier to restrict without my parents threatening to call my lawyer or therapist after a week of fasting. Does anyone else like excited for school solely for restricting?
I'm a 'symptom' free ED sufferer?
/u/radcherrywinter
Created: Mon Jul 30 06:34:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/933ogi/im_a_symptom_free_ed_sufferer/
---
Background - was anorexic for 2 years in my early teens and have suffered with disordered eating since. Have never purged but tried many times before breaking down and stopping. At my worst time I couldn't wait to move out so that my parents could no longer control my eating and I could just starve myself all the time.
Nowadays I'm 18 living with my boyfriend and his family, weigh between 80-90lbs (my scales aren't accurate) and my BMI hovers around 15 most of the time. I eat like a complete pig everyday with takeaways and huge plates of food from my boyfriends family, I have salads for lunch but drench it in fatty dressing and I HATE MYSELF.
My uncle recently died and I broke down in front of my boyfriend told him everything I told him the only reason I don't starve is because I cannot bear to let him down so I eat like normal and just hate myself internally. Which is true. But at the same time I am always skipping the gym and suggesting we get McDonalds for lunch. He must think I am making it up. I go from 'I am never eating again' to 'I am only eating fruit and veg and plain chicken nothing else' to 'lets get mcdonalds I'm having 9 chicken strips and large fries and a mayo chicken burger'.
I am so ashamed. I keep remembering how skinny I was when I barely ate. I want to lose so much weight but I cant worry my boyfriend I'd feel horrible.
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! July 30, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 30 06:14:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/933jpn/weekly_stats_update_july_30_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for July 30, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 30, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 30 06:13:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/933jok/daily_food_diary_july_30_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 30, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] A piece of my tooth chipped off after purging. I HAVE to stop now.
/u/sugafreedreams [M17 | 5'11" | AN B/P | HBMI 28.7 | CBMI 16.5]
Created: Mon Jul 30 05:55:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/933ff6/a_piece_of_my_tooth_chipped_off_after_purging_i/
---
Yesterday evening I was biting my fingernails out of boredom about 30 minutes after purging, and a piece of one of my bottom front teeth literally chipped off. It was a tiny piece and I can only tell the difference because the tooth's edge is sharper when I feel it with my tongue, but the tooth will most likely decay faster now that a piece of its enamel has broken off. I haven't even gotten any sort of tooth damage from purging before, not even temperature sensitivity, but a piece of tooth just suddenly decided to break off now.
I simply ***have*** to stop purging now that it hasn't gotten too bad yet, there's no way I'm going to give the future me irreversible enamel damage for the rest of my life just because the present day me wanted to get 5 minutes of pleasure by binging on cookies and ice cream. Fuck my life.
[Rant/Rave] Vegan keto day 1: impressions
/u/linedryonly [5'5"ā| CW 133 | SW 145 | LW 102 | GW 110]
Created: Mon Jul 30 05:27:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9339d3/vegan_keto_day_1_impressions/
---
It's currently 8:20pm in my corner of the world and I'm sitting on my bed watching Netflix and sipping lime seltzer water. I went just over 1000 kcals today and am stuffed to the brim. I'm a little nervous because I hear keto is supposed to make you feel terrible, but I feel great? Better energy, better digestion, no headaches (I usually have them daily), no cravings. Anyone know at what point the keto shit is supposed to hit the fan?
Do you have anything you'd like to eat that is healthy...
/u/space-crumpet [178 cm | GW: 65kg | F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 05:08:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9335kf/do_you_have_anything_youd_like_to_eat_that_is/
---
...but you don't let yourself eat it anyway?
I'd love to eat a roll, a whole grain one (about 320 kcal). I've been craving for a roll for few days straight...
[Help] How do you guys break a fast without binging?! Help Meee plzzzz
/u/Shibo_Kitsune
Created: Mon Jul 30 05:05:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9334u6/how_do_you_guys_break_a_fast_without_binging_help/
---
I literally cannot break a fast safely. I start breaking it with something sensible like juice or a small piece of fruit and then... 5 seconds go by.. and I eat EVERYTHING!! Safe food, junk food, tables, chairs, passersby. OK I'm exaggerating slightly there but seriously any advice would be welcome! I still fast cos despite the binge I still lose weight overall but would like to do it without feeling like there's a bowling ball in my stomach for the next few days :/
[Rant/Rave] Iām disgusted with myself
/u/noxadvena
Created: Mon Jul 30 04:55:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9332xp/im_disgusted_with_myself/
---
I just binged. I was so stressed today and ate a disgusting amount of food.
Then I checked my phone... there was a text message from a guy I thought I wasnāt going to hear from again. He asked me to hang out tonight. Iām so angry at myself for not checking my phone sooner because he texted me just before I started my binge. If Iād checked I would have thrown all the food away and spent time with him instead
But no. Now Iām stuffed and feeling disgusting and tried purging but couldnāt so Iām just sat here fat and bloated and gross and I hate myself. I told him I canāt tonight and I donāt think Iāll get another chance to.
Iām just having such a horrible day and Iām so sad and so angry at myself especially since all last week I did so well. No binges last week and 2 fast days.... I just want to cry and I canāt even cry. I want to throw up and I canāt even throw up. Why am I like this. Iām disgusting.
Iām going to restrict the rest of this week and I know itās not healthy but I donāt fucking care I hate how I feel right now. I want to be empty. I want to be small. I want to be light. I want to have some control.
I canāt believe I picked tonight of all nights to fall off and this is the night I miss an opportunity. I really like this guy and I just donāt think itās ever going to happen now. Probably for the best though because who would really want me like this.
[Goal] With a lot of hard work, I managed to turn around my shit-show month to a net gain of zero pounds
/u/onthewaydownnn [25F | 5'7" | ā¼ 25 lbs | ā½ 23 lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 30 04:11:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/932uju/with_a_lot_of_hard_work_i_managed_to_turn_around/
---
I started July with such high hopes!!!...and then three days later was the 4th of July and from there on it was just a total dumpster fire. Binges almost every day.
[By the middle of the month, I was up about 10 pounds. ](https://imgur.com/a/oqrCERO)
I realized I need to get my shit together or Iām going to be right back where I started in May. [So I put the work in and Iām right back down, ](https://imgur.com/a/vNc4aV4) weighing in at a pound under my starting weight for this month.
Typically, Iād look at this ***one pound net loss*** And be so upset that Iād binge. But dude lemme tell you. I pulled myself out of a dark hole of binging and restricting and Iāll take this one pound and *runnnn* into August without thinking one more time about it.
[For those that are curious, this is an app that goes with the Renpho scale. Itās super amazing, blue tooth, and syncs with my Fitbit as well. Itās really cheap on amazon]
[Rant/Rave] feeling so lost
/u/last_wills [5'3" | FtM | gaining :(]
Created: Mon Jul 30 03:58:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/932rzy/feeling_so_lost/
---
I was doing /so well/ earlier this summer. 3-500 kcal per day. I felt no emotions and could hardly move but I sure was losing. I was really proud of myself, hit a new low weight, and almost was underweight, where I felt like my struggles would finally be legitimate.
But then I had to stupidly realize I actually wanted to have a life and feel emotions. On the same day that my ghost-period (with essentially no blood but I could totally tell) hit. And of course to top it all off the scale stalled. I had already been ramping up the calories very slightly to do be able to move/exercise, so I thought I'd try to maintain/binge during the first couple days of my ghost period to come out to my family and deal with the fact that I wasn't engaged in my life at all.
Of course this wasn't temporary. The size 2 jeans that were falling off without a belt are now horribly, shamefully snug.
I am so ashamed of the amount I've been eating and the way I've been eating it. I hardly even want the food. I felt almost ill today thinking about how much I'd eaten, and then 5 minutes later I was eating again. I hardly enjoy any of the wholesome, safe foods that were ED heaven- fruit, salsa, treats I'd look forward to and budget for because they were so good. I can't believe how fast this spiraled out of control. I'm terrified to weigh and see that over a month of hard work and focus just came undone, and I'm angry at myself because I don't care. I'm awake at 3am just obsessively crunching the numbers and trying to guess how many calories over my maintnance I've been eating and it's probably over 1000 and I just can't overcome the absolute /knowledge/ that I'm going to keep going tomorrow.
And then there's this idiotic voice of actual reason- not binge logic, actual reason- in my head that says it doesn't matter whether I'm binging or restricting, it's unhealthy either way, because even when my ribs were showing and I had lost 10+ pounds in a month I hated how I looked. My body didn't change the way I wanted it to. There's no way it would be worth redoing all that for something that would never satisfy me, not until I was 80 pounds and about to die and probably not even then. Ironically this ugly butterball is probably my 'ideal' weight.
One of the parts I hate the most right now is the fucking hubris. I should never have eaten a ton of food knowing how huge a problem binging can be for people who are restricting. I've binged in the past but I never, EVER thought I'd let it go past a day, or get to the point that I felt like I couldn't stop, even as I watched SO MANY PEOPLE say the EXACT SAME THING about themselves.
I'm so lost. I have no idea what I'm doing, and no one to talk to other than internet strangers. I really should stop, because I'm sure this is hurting my body and I hate it. But it doesn't feel worth fixing and the coming out to family/ fixing my emotional state was a fucking joke and I'm passively wishing that I were dead :(
breakfast ideas?
/u/sweaterbug
Created: Mon Jul 30 03:40:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/932otk/breakfast_ideas/
---
ive been eating uncle tobys quick oats (135 kcal) for the whole winter but now its getting warmer i'm not sure what to have! whats your favourite low calorie cereal?
[Discussion] DAE make their schedule super busy to avoid eating?
/u/ichbindertod
Created: Mon Jul 30 03:06:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/932imy/dae_make_their_schedule_super_busy_to_avoid_eating/
---
So I just picked up a bunch of overtime this week. I need the money but the real motivation was being too busy to eat. I have rules like I don't ever eat before work, and I don't ever eat after 6, so picking up consecutive 10-6/12-8 shifts means I won't be "able" to eat for days. I *will* however be able to workout, so I'll be lifting or doing barre every morning, and my job is very physical, on my feet and lifting heavy things all day.
Kind of worried I'll get burnt out and have a physical and/or mental breakdown by the time the week is done, but I'm kind of excited by the challenge and the thrill of secretly getting to starve myself for the week. Usually I have to eat something most days, my parents ask questions if they don't see me eating, but this week I won't even be home for mealtimes so they won't know!
100% aware that I'm letting my ED win here, there's a part of me that's very afraid and telling me to stop, but it's quiet and far away. My bf usually keeps me on the straight and narrow but he's sick this week and I don't want to bother him with having to support me in fighting it. So I'm just letting it win for a while. It feels so good and so bad all at the same time.
Does anyone else keep themselves busy and active like this? How does it make you feel?
[Rant/Rave] Confession: I have written instructions for my loved ones in case I die
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 81lbs | BMI: 15-something | -?lbs| f]
Created: Mon Jul 30 03:00:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/932hgt/confession_i_have_written_instructions_for_my/
---
I'm very ill, and I have been for a very long time. I started purging and restricting when I was 12. Now, I'm 18, and while at 78lbs i'm 11lbs above my low weight. I eat everyday, a fact that I'm proud of, but I binge and purge everyday, too, at least 3 times and usually closer to 5-10.
Obviously, this has created some major health problems for me. I'm malnourished, even though I've been maintaining my weight. I was hospitalized three times last year. I'm dehydrated. I suffer from an arrhythmia, and I have to take pills every single day to try to make sure my heart keeps beating. My blood pressure is so low the last time it was checked the nurse did a second reading to make sure it wasn't a mistake. On top of these documented issues, I simply feel unwell. I have constant aching in my stomach, and chest pain that comes and goes and always leaves me gasping for breath- a reaction both from fear and from the pain. I feel faint and weak most of the time, and spend most of the day lying down lately. My heart races and skips and I often can't find enough air to breathe. I'm scared every day that the constant abuse I've put it through will catch up to my body.
And so I've written up a quick note to be found if my fears are realized and anyone finds them self sorting through my things.
The most important part is a request for someone to inform a dear friend of mine who lives out of country of what happened, if something does happen.
It also includes instructions as to what I want done with my body and my belongings.
I'm just barely an adult, and I certainly don't feel like I am, and I've just written what is, essentially, a will.
And i'm terrified.
It feels so good restricting again
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Mon Jul 30 02:23:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/932b2e/it_feels_so_good_restricting_again/
---
I recently developed what I would describe as undiagnosed BED. It was so out of control I would consume a sickly amount. Enough for 4 people or more with shocking frequency. Then I would feel guilty and low and hate myself. Then I would binge again. Rinse and repeat.
Needless to say, I packed on the pounds.
So, I started restricting again. Properly. Like I used to. It's become my whole world so quickly. I've jumped back in full throttle.
I like the structure, I like the distraction, I like how in control it makes me feel. I know it's not going to help my self esteem or self worth but nothing ever does.
So yeah... here I am
[Rant/Rave] oh lordy me
/u/smolbeanbaby [5'2 | 132 | 24.1 | 34 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 30 02:15:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9329t1/oh_lordy_me/
---
genuinely considering budgeting all my money towards everything but food just so i wonāt eat. i have $2 until payday and iām thinking of just fasting until then. how fucked up is it that iād do this to myself?
my general manager jokingly said i eat too often(i ordered a burrito, a baby fry, and a small chocolate milkshake in one day during my shift) and thatās still haunting me. one day my favorite manager said something about me needing more self control when i went to order more food(i literally only eat at work) and that is stuck in my head. so i am suffering!!! :)
[Rant/Rave] college struggles
/u/impracticalmickey [5'8 | 138 | 20.9 | -52]
Created: Mon Jul 30 01:55:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93266v/college_struggles/
---
since I'm going away to college in the next few weeks, my parents have been all over getting me stuff for my dorm room. today they came home with these giant bags of candy, all of my favorites, and other snack type stuff. I love that they care enough to get me all of this stuff and to know what I like, but I kinda feel like they're setting me up for failure weight loss wise with all the high cal snacks
[Tip] Dealing with cravings
/u/waterandsaltandvape
Created: Mon Jul 30 01:39:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9323ep/dealing_with_cravings/
---
My biggest problem is not that I get hungry, but that I crave different foods. Right now, these are the ways I deal:
General strategies:
ā¢drink coffee
ā¢drink tons of water
ā¢do something else
Craving sugar:
ā¢drink tea
ā¢chew gum
ā¢vape dessert flavors
Craving salt:
ā¢this is weird but sometimes I literally eat salt
What do you guys do? Seriously if I could just say no to cravings I would never have a problem. This is something I struggled with even at my lw, and it's sometimes so easy to say "well it won't hurt just this one time" but it will always happen again. It's the most frustrating thing for me. Just wondering if any of you guys have strategies that have worked for you :)
[Discussion] I canāt wait to be skinny one day
/u/bigbeyoncefan
Created: Mon Jul 30 00:07:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/931lu1/i_cant_wait_to_be_skinny_one_day/
---
thatās it thatās the whole post I am just so sick and tired of being fat. to my future skinny self: Iāll see you soon bitch
[Discussion] DAE get really bad cramps after eating?
/u/EquivalentMinute [5'5 | CW: 120 | GW: 100| BMI: 20.0 | 17f]
Created: Sun Jul 29 23:49:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/931icz/dae_get_really_bad_cramps_after_eating/
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It doesn't happen all the time but at least 4 or 5 times this week after eating (doesn't matter the amount) I'll feel so sick, I'll get nauseous and crampy and it really sucks. It happens specifically after I eat cheese but it also just happened and all I ate was baby carrots??? Does this happen to anyone else?
[Discussion] concentration
/u/kreisler19
Created: Sun Jul 29 23:44:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/931hbq/concentration/
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can any of you concentrate on studying when restricting or fasting? I find myself being able to concentrate better.
[Help] Binged all weekend - when should I weigh myself??
/u/losemore [5ā9.5 | oink | 22F | UGW 100lbs]
Created: Sun Jul 29 23:40:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/931gln/binged_all_weekend_when_should_i_weigh_myself/
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Over the weekend I would have easily consumed around 10000 calories. I knew it was coming as I had multiple events and so I ate a total of 1200 calories for the week prior.
I know I obviously will be up quite a bit due to water weight + probably a bit of actual weight gained as well, but when should I weigh myself so I can see the actual damage I caused? Iāve fasted today and also planning to fast tomorrow.
[Discussion] whatās a minor thing you look forward to at your GW?
/u/sepibad [155cm | cw: 54kg | gw: 48kg | 17f]
Created: Sun Jul 29 23:23:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/931d1f/whats_a_minor_thing_you_look_forward_to_at_your_gw/
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iām just hoping iād be able to wear wide-legged pants without having my legs look like sausages
^pear ^shape ^struggles
what about you guys? :)
[Rant/Rave] I Feel Like Iām Not Allowed To Be Happy If Iām Not At My Goal Weight
/u/booferal
Created: Sun Jul 29 23:05:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9319dp/i_feel_like_im_not_allowed_to_be_happy_if_im_not/
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My weight has fluctuated a lot over the last three years, but has always been at least somewhat higher than my goal. I am constantly aware of this fact, and feel guilty for just existing. I used to be so thin and pretty, and getting ready for a party or taking pictures or going out with friends was such a fun and happy experience; now I just feel like a joke whoās trying to look good when I obviously donāt. I feel bad for people who have to look at me, and feel like Iām letting them and myself down just by being at this weight. I sometimes catch myself feeling happy and confident and immediately remind myself that Iām disgusting and donāt deserve to enjoy anything until Iām thin and pretty again.
I am drunk enough to admit that I'm starting to have a problem.
/u/J0_f0_sh0 [5'2 | CW122 | -12 | GW/LW114| F21]
Created: Sun Jul 29 22:40:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93145o/i_am_drunk_enough_to_admit_that_im_starting_to/
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Today is my 21 birthday. I've been drinking all day. Yes I've commented to this sub and even created a new username to use in only pro ed subs a few days ago. But I'm now admitting that I have an ed. I am obsessed with how many calories I eat and burn. How much I weigh. How fat I look. The food I want/plan to eat. I threw a temper tantrum when my husband used the last of the eggs with out telling me yesterday. And I cried in the car because I wanted Sunday brunch but he took too long to get ready. There is problems in my personal life that I can't control, with my family back home and my sexual assault case here (I'm in the military). I have two lbs to lose til my pre deployment weight and seven til my pre bootcamp weight. Wish me luck.
[Discussion] Working out when feeling ill
/u/landfill7707
Created: Sun Jul 29 22:25:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9310yn/working_out_when_feeling_ill/
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How do you get yourself out of the house and to the gym or even just outside to work out when you feel physically or emotionally sick? I b/pād like crazy today and I need to go work out but I feel nauseous and am just in the middle of a depressive spell.
I just cut myself to stave off the hunger
/u/10299201
Created: Sun Jul 29 22:17:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/930z88/i_just_cut_myself_to_stave_off_the_hunger/
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And it worked! I know itās fucked up and all but Iām kinda happy lol
[Discussion] Did anyone else find American Horror Story: Coven (Season 3) incredibly triggering or is that just me?
/u/chrissylessthan3 [5'2 | CW: 128 | HW: 132.5 | GW: 112 | UGW: 105]
Created: Sun Jul 29 22:12:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/930xxk/did_anyone_else_find_american_horror_story_coven/
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Emma Roberts is so skinny
I'm getting so old and disgusting I should probably kill myself
How did the show make you feel?
[Rant/Rave] A friend called me a āreal womanā
/u/boneybabybitch [5'4" | GW birthweight | BMI 16.3 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 21:41:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/930r3y/a_friend_called_me_a_real_woman/
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I ranted on here recently about a coworker remarking about the fact that I āeat like a big girl,ā but today Iām here to rave.
I recently made a pretty big change in my life, deciding I wasnāt happy living with an SO and moving out while working on the relationship separately. We had been living together for three years prior.
Part of the reason why I wasnāt happy was because I felt I had lost touch with old friends and in some way was losing pieces of myself. So naturally, a lot of people didnāt know that I had moved out alone.
Today I got in touch with an old friend, and after he said āwhy didnāt your boyfriend move with you? That seems silly,ā I said, āI wanted to do it alone.ā
He simply responded, āyouāre a real woman.ā
That made me feel the happiest I have felt in a long time.
So let me say FUCK people who say you arenāt a āreal womanā because of your size, whatever it may be. Fuck people who judge us by our appearance, no matter how we look. Maybe this has made me realize I am worth more than just my appearance.
At least thatās how I feel right at this moment.
Why do I feel like I binged when I only had 2 cookies with 80cals each ?
/u/rainesaway
Created: Sun Jul 29 21:17:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/930llx/why_do_i_feel_like_i_binged_when_i_only_had_2/
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Does any else feel that way ? It stresses me out so much because I know itās not a true ābingeā but I feel like it is.
[Discussion] Hey it's me, ya Boi Discussion/Help? (Low-key Rant)
/u/Fatalope [Height 5'4 | CW 136 | GW 104 | HW 168 | 21 F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 20:48:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/930epx/hey_its_me_ya_boi_discussionhelp_lowkey_rant/
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Lmao but for real, I'm back, after a fun two months of like non-stop binging. I got my three million cases of diet coke, (the new stuff is pretty awesome) and I'm ready to get back to my goal weight. I got this.
I do have a question,
What is self-care?
I mean obvs eating at maintenance and like... not starving yourself is self-care but ignoring that part.
Like I know I need to wash my body and all that jazz and make sure I wash my face and keep my brows from forming the union they so desperately want to. Other than that stuff... I'm at a loss.
TBH I'm asking this because one this is an amazing community and I love you guys because of how supportive and awesome everyone is. and two because while playing a game the other night with my friends, it was a sorta "whose most likely to do/have this" card game, one of them got one, and without even reading it aloud, threw it across the table at me with a smug ass smile on their face. I then was forced to read it aloud because everyone was curious.
the card.
the fucking card.
"who has the most questionable hygiene?"
Because hey, let's give this card to the one person in the group you KNOW has been suffering from depression and can barely get out of bed to shower. let's make her feel 100x worse than she already was and also guarantee that she will never want to hang out with anyone again. because hey, she was right and everyone does hate her. woo.
Okay so this turned more into a rant but still, good self-care/hygene types because other then wash/shave/pluck. i'm at a loss.
Being a lesbian and having an eating disorder is so difficult.
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Sun Jul 29 20:32:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/930ax8/being_a_lesbian_and_having_an_eating_disorder_is/
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I feel like being a lesbian in a way really fuels my eating disorder.
After visiting a lesbian bar last night for the first time, I was struck by how many gorgeous, amazing, beautiful, hot women were there. Whether they had broad shoulders and looked butch and confident as hell or if they we're skinnier and more femme; they were all gorgeous and I was beyond intimidated by everyone there.
Now, a day after being at the bar, I feel more unhappy with my body and just where I'm at in general. After spending awhile thinking I wanted to be the skinny but muscular/broad butch lesbian, I realized that I'm actually more of a "futch" (or a feminine butch) and that, even moreso than before, I so desperately want to be skinny.
I walk around and see these insanely attractive butch women who are toned and muscular and just isntantly think they would never be attracted to a flabby/fat lesbian and desire so badly to be the skinny and pretty lesbian.
I just had to rant there for a moment. Because I'm just really. I'm really done.
I planned my meals ahead of time for tomorrow to avoid eating junk. Wish me look. Does anyone do this? (With calories and all)
/u/subarremos
Created: Sun Jul 29 20:07:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/93051b/i_planned_my_meals_ahead_of_time_for_tomorrow_to/
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https://i.redd.it/cnibl3g4uzc11.jpg
[Other] Bought myself a book at target and didn't expect it to be so... spot on
/u/MightyMuskrats [š5'2 | š | GW 115 | -17 | 22Fš]
Created: Sun Jul 29 20:05:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9304lk/bought_myself_a_book_at_target_and_didnt_expect/
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https://i.redd.it/d145dklttzc11.jpg
[Discussion] dae use other ppl's ignorance as fuel for their ed?
/u/biblicalirony [5'3 | cw: 174 | hw: 234 | lw: 170 | gw: 115 | 15f]
Created: Sun Jul 29 20:03:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9303z4/dae_use_other_ppls_ignorance_as_fuel_for_their_ed/
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so im fat as fuck and my family knows that im trying to lose weight but bc im obese theyve been nothing but supportive -- or have tried to be at least lol. fOR example, my sister says shit to trigger my ed all the time and there are times where i resent her for how she's made me feel but i havent done anything to correct her and its not like she knows any better so..? two examples:
1. after a long period of fasting, i'll be having my 700cal omad or something and she'll say something like, "yikes doesnt that seem like a lot for one meal lol" and i'll be like "yea ur right" so i feel guilty and either restrict or binge bc she made me feel bad and i hate myself
or !! 2. i'll tell her about when i plan to get to my gw and she'll be like, "oh couldnt you reach your goal a bit faster tho" and i'll be like "aha yea i guess so" and try to make my daily cal goal go from what was initially reasonable in my eyes (1000-ish) to like half of that.
it's not even just with her comments though. like, when people comment on my weight loss, i always use their validation as incentive to lose weight even faster. i went to a party w a few family members i hadnt seen in a while and one of them was like "omg youve gotten SOOO slim !!" and i'll just be like "omg haha ty" while internally i'll just be like "lmfao still obese, catch me 20 pounds less than i was today when u see me in two months !" and its so fucked up and i feel so bad for it but im honestly kinda living for it
[Help] opinions on my activity level?
/u/AgreeableReplacement [22Fš5'8š~100lbs]
Created: Sun Jul 29 20:01:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9303mb/opinions_on_my_activity_level/
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im never sure on what to select as my activity level when calculating tdee, i was wondering if you guys could guesstimate for me? i go on 60-90 minute brisk walks almost every day, as well as about 45 minutes of light yoga/stretching. i also do about an hours worth of chores (washing/putting away dishes, laundry, vacuuming, tidying up). thanks <3
[Other] Need support
/u/ImmediateAlien [5'3 | CW: 109 lbs | GW 99 lbs | BMI: 19.7 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 20:01:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9303ks/need_support/
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Not ED related but feel this is the only place I can post this. If it needs to be deleted, mods, np.
Tomorrow Iām going back to school after yeaaars and Iām feeling really anxious and could use some support from you guys.
Iām bipolar and been in a depressive episode the past six eight months, without a job for a year and struggling quite a lot. Lost 14 kgs while manic, gained ten back, trying to lose them now.
I havenāt been out of my house in a week so that adds extra anxiety. I just wanna stay in bed and fast for the rest of the year ugh.
Thanks for reading.
There's an all night pizza place near me within walking distance and I'm sad because one of my "friends" has been shit-talking me and none of the others seem to care. In fact they seem to like him enough to dump me entirely.
/u/cortizonegnome
Created: Sun Jul 29 20:00:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9303dm/theres_an_all_night_pizza_place_near_me_within/
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Time to binge B-)
[Rant/Rave] My cousin could be a model and Iām over here a fat ass
/u/comrade_toastboy
Created: Sun Jul 29 19:57:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9302nx/my_cousin_could_be_a_model_and_im_over_here_a_fat/
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Iām 19, 65ā and like 115. I used to be 110. My cousin is turning 13 and sheās taller than me and thinner with long legs. Itās so unfair. Is t wrong of me to want her to age so sheāll gain weight? I wanted to be a model but Iām too short and fat. Sheās neither and I feel so upset. She hardly ate anything at the cook out tbag I saw. Meanwhile I had a burger and half an ear of corn. It just really upsets me. I have another cousin who has perfect legs. It pisses me the fuck off.
Scared of people noticing?
/u/nihilistatari
Created: Sun Jul 29 19:55:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/930255/scared_of_people_noticing/
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I am starting heavy restricting tomorrow, and, I am frankly worried. I want people to notice that I lost weight and to be worried, but not enough for anyone to try and stop me.
[Help] I ate 900-1,000 calories at most yesterday. If I fast today will I be okay?
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Sun Jul 29 19:54:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9301yr/i_ate_9001000_calories_at_most_yesterday_if_i/
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Hey guys my anxiety really gets to me especially with food. I was going to exercise today and try to burn off all the food I ate yesterday but I thought I could just fast and āburn it offā that way. Would that work? I feel like I need to do both or something. Would I still be on track if I fasted? Still potentially losing? I also wonder no matter how slow your bmr is what the minimum amount of calories one burns off while doing nothing. At the very least itās 1,000 right? No matter what size you are. I would LOVE some help.. my obsessive thoughts just get worse when I donāt know fully. Thank you so very much :)
When body dysmorphia ruins your self image so validation from others keeps you going
/u/whatsupbitchezzz [19F | 5'2" | CW 109 | SW 130 | GW idk anymore]
Created: Sun Jul 29 19:36:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92zxhh/when_body_dysmorphia_ruins_your_self_image_so/
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Anyone else? I can barely see an ounce of difference in mirrors, and I've lost over 20 pounds to meet my original goal weight, but I can tell a big difference in photos. My arms and upper body especially have started to look unhealthy (my cw may not seem small, but for my body type it's rather unnatural-looking on me).
Anyway since I have absolutely no perspective on the way I look anymore and eating a normal meal makes me look as if I've instantly gained 50 pounds, I LIVE for others' comments. I've gotten so much praise from people who don't know that I've primarily switched to just eating as I please and throwing it up afterwards that I don't think I'll ever stop. Maybe when I'm 100 pounds? Idk. It's not even that far away for me now and that's crazy.
Not gonna lie, I hate r/fatlogic/Reddit fat hating
/u/blazeroftrails
Created: Sun Jul 29 19:33:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92zwue/not_gonna_lie_i_hate_rfatlogicreddit_fat_hating/
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Itās not about āhealthā or āmythsā, itās about hating fat people. Whenever an obviously underweight celebrity is discussed, and somebody mentions that they are unhealthily skinny, they get barraged with replies of ābut I think that she looks attractive!!!ā. Yes, but theyāre still underweight. Just because you think they look hot doesnāt make them healthy.
I just feel like those subs always assume that fat people are unhealthy and thatās bad, but when a person is obviously unhealthily skinny then itās fine because guys on Reddit still like to jerk off to her. Itās not about health itās about appearance and whether somebody is attractive or not.
Just a stupid rant Iāll probably delete later, not really ED related ig
[Rant/Rave] Damn rice and beans
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 115 | 17.95 | 14.2 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 19:30:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92zw27/damn_rice_and_beans/
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I just need to do a quick rant. Iām on vacation so restricting is hard enough around my family (and they keep telling me that I look so skinny, so that makes me not want to eat), and now at dinner I overdid it with the rice and beans and I hate myself. I am not going to purge but I am just so frustrated. Thanks for listening
What thinspo āaestheticā do you typically gravitate towards?
/u/blazeroftrails
Created: Sun Jul 29 19:25:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92zuu3/what_thinspo_aesthetic_do_you_typically_gravitate/
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Iām a pasty blonde girl but all the thinspo I look at is like, tiny Korean girls with giant sweaters and plaid skirts. Makes me kinda sad because Iāll never look like that no matter how much I lose. At my GW Iāve promised myself that I can buy a tennis skirt lol.
You guys... 50 cent Powerade at Albertsons (US)
/u/ProbablyNeedGlasses
Created: Sun Jul 29 19:24:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92zujh/you_guys_50_cent_powerade_at_albertsons_us/
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https://i.redd.it/cxlgqelfmzc11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Lost 40 pounds but I feel like I look even fatter when I'm naked than I did before
/u/newEDwhodis
Created: Sun Jul 29 18:32:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92zhrk/lost_40_pounds_but_i_feel_like_i_look_even_fatter/
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I don't know if I'm just losing everywhere but my stomach or what but I just feel so disgusting lately. I can't even enjoy my own weightloss goals and any happiness I have from the scale is lost the moment I look at myself.
I feel honestly fatter than I was when I weighed 250. Even though the scale has consistently shows me 40 pounds I am getting to the point where I just don't believe it. I'm not seeing it at all and I hate it.
Especially when I sit. augh GOD.
I can't even really work out because of a knee issue either so I can't even 'tone' myself which is just even more frustrating
I hate this and I hate how it makes me hate all food. I wish I didn't have to eat. Maybe I'll go liquid diet again.
Thanks for reading. I hope you guys have a great day.
Freaking out about starting grad school in a few weeks and I'm afraid I'm gonna have a relapse. I haven't been this stressed in at least 2 years
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'8 | 116 | 17.4 | 21]
Created: Sun Jul 29 18:32:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92zhqu/freaking_out_about_starting_grad_school_in_a_few/
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Title basically sums it up. I've been doing pretty well. Eating relatively a normal amount of food, and maintaining a somewhat healthy BMI. My parents are happy, my doctor is happy, etc. So I graduated undergrad in May and I've basically just been hanging out living at my parents place and chilling with friends all summer going out and sleeping all day and surfing and stuff like that. But I'm supposed to start grad school in a few weeks and I feel like I'm going to die whenever I think about it.
I promise I'm really not saying this to brag but I'm going to Harvard and just the name alone is freaking me out. I never thought I'd end up at Harvard. Even when I was a little girl and had the whole world in front of me, I just never believed that something like this could happen to me. I've just never believed in myself near enough. This is the best grad school in the country for what I'm doing. And I know deep down that it's a good thing and I know I've earned it. Hell, in my undergrad program alone, 20 other people I know applied and I was the only one who got in. Like people who are way smarter and more talented than I could ever be. And there's like 20ish slots in this program. So I'm just imaging every other undergrad program in the country had a similar amount of people apply and I have no idea how I convinced them to let me be one of the very few they accepted. But I worked my ass off in college and a part of me feels like I really deserve this. But another part of me feels like I don't at all because I know there are thousands (maybe only hundreds but still) of people who could go and do better than I'm probably going to do.
Most of my friends from home aren't really doing anything. Of everyone I was close to in high school, I'm one of the only ones who actually finished college. Most of them have been bartending or waitressing for 3 years and are making decent money and seem really happy. Half of them are engaged/married, the other half are in some sort of serious relationship or just living their single lives and loving every minute of it. I've never been in a serious relationship and every time I get close to one, I get scared and withdrawal. I had a great guy in college. He put up with all of my bullshit, genuinely cared about me, and just did everything I could ever imagine for about a year. And I put him through the ringer and I absolutely hate myself for it. I treated him like shit, made sure he knew we weren't *a couple* and as soon as graduation started coming up and he started taking about looking for jobs in Boston so he could be near me, I told him not to waste his time and that we were done. And still he even came to visit me a few weeks ago and I felt something for the first time in my life. Like I felt loved from someone who wasn't related to me and it scared the shit out of me. He took a great job in Seattle and is designing airplanes or something and I really just don't want him to leave that for me because I know he will and I'm not worth it. I couldn't live with myself knowing he left his dream job to be a part of my shit show life. But I really really want to tell him how much he means to me and how much I really care about him even though I've never said it and have probably acted the complete opposite for years. And I wanted to give But that's all beside the point. I just feel like I need to vent sometimes and this is the only place I know I can do it at.
But back to the topic at hand. I'm freaking out. I don't do well when I'm on my own and I really need friends. And I've heard that it's really cutthroat and people are not friendly in the program I'm going to. And I'm horrible at making friends. Like, I was in a sorority in college and it still took me a year and a half before I felt like I had a group of friends I was comfortable with.
I think my parents know I'm freaking out about all this. I drink a lot more and impulse show when I'm not doing well and I'm sure they've noticed I've been doing this consistently for a month or so but they haven't said anything. I think they're afraid I'll freak out and not go and blow this and I can't blow this. After everything I've put my parents through, I need them to know it was worth it. And I'm not even going to this for them. I could have graduated and gotten a great job and saved them a ton of money and been out of their hair. I'm doing this for me. But I have a hard time believing it sometimes.
And all of my friends here are so jealous of me. But I'm so jealous of them and their lives and I can't say it. I'm jealous that they're all happy and loved and living a carefree life going to the beach every day and staying out all night and I know that's just not the life I was meant for but it seems so appealing.
I'm so sorry if this came off ass bitchy or irritating I just really needed to vent.
[Rant/Rave] rehab has such high calorie snacks, so i ordered my own!
/u/gatechnightman [5'8" | CW: 130 | GW: 110 | UGW: 100 | Female]
Created: Sun Jul 29 18:25:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92zg31/rehab_has_such_high_calorie_snacks_so_i_ordered/
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iām in rehab (not for ED) and all of the snacks they provide are 200/300+ calories. well screw that.
i just ordered rice/quinoa cakes (62 calories for 3 cakes), lentil crisps (120 calories for 25 pieces), and juicy fruit gum for my sugar fix (less than 5 calories a stick)! got them all on amazon prime.
i can finally skip all my meals and the embarrassment of eating in front of people and i can fill up on low calories in peace.
iām so excited for august 1st. please hurry, snacks!
Losing weight after anti depressant weight gain?
/u/chrissylessthan3 [5'2 | CW: 128 | HW: 132.5 | GW: 112 | UGW: 105]
Created: Sun Jul 29 18:14:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92zdde/losing_weight_after_anti_depressant_weight_gain/
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Has anyone been able to shed the weight they gained on anti depressants?
I gained almost 15 pounds on Lexapro. I stopped the meds 5 weeks ago and I've been restricting (800-1000 daily) for 2 weeks and no progress whatsoever. I'm super disheartened and I'm afraid these monster drugs have ruined my metabolism for life.
Does anyone have a success story with this?
[Rant/Rave] i think i accidentally outed myself to my dad š
/u/throwawayjhs0218 [5'2/F | HW: 222 | CW: 219 | GW: 105]
Created: Sun Jul 29 17:55:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92z8mu/i_think_i_accidentally_outed_myself_to_my_dad/
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last night i was really hungry but i was already almost at 900 calories and i didn't wanna go over so i went downstairs to get some cherries. i wanted to know how much they weighed so i could log the calories more accurately so i asked my dad where the food scale was and he asked me why i needed it and i was just like "u-uhh i wanna know how much the cherries... weigh..." š¶ and then he asked why again so i was just like "um... i just wanna know..." and then i made it WORSE by being like "because the bag doesn't have nutritional facts on it" like jdbsdjsbdjsbdj
he didn't react weirdly he was just like "oh okay! we'll buy a food scale tomorrow" which was cool but i'm still so nervous he's gonna suspect something. my mom was suspicious a few days ago too bc i only had a chicken leg for dinner bc i was restricting and she was like "that's it??? are you on a diet or something?" and i just said i wasn't that hungry but idk if she believed it. they might've noticed me eating less recently too so i'm nervous they're gonna catch on but hopefully they just think i'm trying to lose weight normally (since i'm already fat) instead of thinking i have an ed lmao
A costumer took me to stop losing because it mouthed like I was on drugs
/u/Sidehothrowaway [f | 31 | 134lbs lost | GW US size 6]
Created: Sun Jul 29 17:54:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92z8hz/a_costumer_took_me_to_stop_losing_because_it/
---
Gotta love old folks. I'm at an average weight but I do look gaunt for my frame. No tits anymore. All my weight is in my ass. I also have about 10-15lbs of excess skin. Coupled with the whole "let's not eat food and drink wine for dinner with pour meds and have espresso and Celsius for breakfast" it probably shows. I just spent $108 at the health food store on my comfort food. My good fiber bars andprobiotic kefir things and some grass fed liver for the iron. Got some duck eggs from the farmer here. I'm eating. Yes I'm eating. I'm eating the food. Got 100 calorie tahini pistachio bars for 7 carbs for work so they shut the fuck up. I don't look anorexic. I'm not emaciated. My bmi is still normal.
I just wish everyone would shut the fuck up about my body. I don't understand why some people are like "I wish they would notice that I'm not eating" or "why don't they see that I I lost X amount of pounds". I just want to be left to be hungry in peace. I want to eat when I want and starve when I want and look like what I want without anyone saying anything.
When I was 300lbs no one was saying " gee you look really fat today, maybe you shouldn't eat". But now I get the"you should stop losing weight you look like you're on drugs".
What the fuck.
[Discussion] DAE who has a period/still gets one is always completely screwed over by it?
/u/newforvevernever [5'6'' | CW 113.7 | GW 101 | WL 4 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 17:44:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92z5zh/dae_who_has_a_periodstill_gets_one_is_always/
---
Tiredness and fatigue, extra hunger pains, ballooning up with water weight... I always end up gaining at least 5 pounds during, and usually shed in and then some after from the anxiety it gives me. But it's such a mess of pain, every time. That was always the one thing about malnutrition I didn't mind.
Im becoming a drunkorexic
/u/kittencatmeows1
Created: Sun Jul 29 17:42:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92z5i5/im_becoming_a_drunkorexic/
---
Seriously 90% of my calories are suddenly alcohol calories.
Send some jack!
Maybe some Pedialyte, I might need it
[Rant/Rave] I hope this doesnāt sound awful
/u/fweakybby [5ā5ā | 132| 22.0 | 68lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 17:33:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92z3bi/i_hope_this_doesnt_sound_awful/
---
I didnāt used to be this way before all this started. But god I find myself being genuinely disgusted by larger women. I donāt know why. I feel horrible because I am a feminist and I really do stand behind women, thatās why Iām so sad this stupid ED is coming out in this way :(
Does anyone else do this or am I just a real life Regina George?
[Rant/Rave] Total fucking fail + update
/u/sayyourprayersbitch [5'5 | CW 108 | 17.9 | F ]
Created: Sun Jul 29 17:17:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92yzkf/total_fucking_fail_update/
---
Hello friends Iām back and (not) better than ever!
Last week I posted about my difficulties opening up to my boyfriend and feeling super depressed and alone. Thanks for all the great feedback:) I ended up confiding in my boyfriend and he was super supportive and kind and it spurred me to make a meal plan where I was eating 800 cal instead of 300 so I thought that was a win. Yay.
Fast forward to last night. We made a last minute decision to have friends over for dinner and luckily our meal fit in my plan. BUT FUCKING ICE CREAM. I binged on ice cream and then went and puked it all up while my friends were still in the apartment and then my stomach and butthole totally lost it because apparently after you restrict super low your body doesnāt know how to digest food anymore? So I shit water for like an hour.
Fast forward to today like 5 hours ago. I made this super tasty dip because those same friends came over again and I wasnāt planning on having any of it, just the celery that I made it with. Silly me, I ate a fuck ton. After they left I started getting super anxious so I added it up on MFP and it came to a whopping 717cal per serving. Thatās my whole fucking day. I told boyfriend I wanted to purge and he freaked so I said I was going on a run and went to the bathroom at the gym in our apartment and puked all of it up, ran two miles and swam for half an hour to make up for it.
So basically I took a tiny step forward and like 20 back and Iām doing the same (and worse) shit that I was doing before.
Needed to get it out
Being home for break is such a mixed blessing. Everyone tells me how much better and healthier I look, but also invites me over for parties and grill outs.
/u/AnAccidentSince1997 [5'10'' | CW: 183 | GW: 160 | Weight Lost: 42 lb | F 21]
Created: Sun Jul 29 17:01:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92yvjl/being_home_for_break_is_such_a_mixed_blessing/
---
I'm just sitting here, god knows how many chips and how much guac I've had. Put the one beer (to get people to stop offering me one every minute), burger without a bun, and small scoop of potato salad on top and I'm definitely way way way way over my calorie limit.
I'm already thinking about ways that I can walk it off later tonight, as long as I'm home by 10 I might be able to get 3 hours of walking in. That should hopefully help. Then if I walk 2 hours a night this week and keep going on my sub 500 restriction I should be good, right?
I'm feeling so balloon-ish. Ugh. At least I know what I need to do to fix it.
[Rant/Rave] Why is eating so hard why do I feel so guilty
/u/fastingfrycook
Created: Sun Jul 29 16:58:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92yum3/why_is_eating_so_hard_why_do_i_feel_so_guilty/
---
I thought I could do this. I had a protein bar and jello mono (duo?) planned, I was gonna IF 16:8, exercise... I mean I did do my exercise. But I could only eat half the protein bar and I couldn't bring myself to break fast until 18 hours and now I just hate myself for doing that because I could have just kept fasting. I didn't need to eat today. I could have pulled off another 3 day fast. I know eating is good for me, because I have energy, and even if it's a huge deficit still, I can actually move around. But fuck I feel like I'm just gonna be fat forever. Why the fuck would I eat? Why would I try this mono? Like yeah I wanted to try these 400 calorie protein bars and I told myself they'd be fine as an OMAD, so that's what I'm doing, but I just hate myself so much. I feel so guilty for eating these. I just want to die. I feel like I'm never gonna see results and I don't deserve to eat anyway. Just fuck.
I keep saying I could recover and eat normally any time I want but I'm just obsessed with food and numbers and I feel guilty every time I eat and it's not even that I "forget" to eat like some of my friends do. I just purposely push myself to fast until I feel like I'm gonna break and I just. Hate this.
Can we just take a moment to appreciate how amazing broth is?
/u/purplepanda87
Created: Sun Jul 29 16:57:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92yuhy/can_we_just_take_a_moment_to_appreciate_how/
---
I know I'm probably the last person on here to figure this out, but broth is fantastic and I wanted to rave about it. Seriously, half a carton of broth is only 30 calories and it's so versatile and filling. I add sriracha to chicken broth and bam, a satisfying 40 calorie meal.
[Discussion] DAE only watch "mukbangs" made by people who are open with their EDs?
/u/PhoneWalletSanity [156cm/5'1.5| 100 lbs| 19.4| 18F| Exploring Recovery]
Created: Sun Jul 29 16:52:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92yt7g/dae_only_watch_mukbangs_made_by_people_who_are/
---
I hesitate to call them mukbangs just because it's more like these type of YouTubers are documenting their disorders.
Regardless, I feel kind of scummy watching them, especially since I'm witnessing someone suffering while eating something I also want to eat but I still get those secondhand food tingles.
With people like Yuka Kinoshita (who's a medical anomaly) or Trisha Paytas (who's not open/diagnosed) it just doesn't feel the same because it feels like a fantasy to me where you're either free through you're biology or denial.
On the other hand, Oat Fiber, Boo or Anonymous Brahette are so much more realistic with their emotions/the aftermath and I feel like I connect to them as people while also living vicariously through them.
Just wanted to get a feel for how everyone here feels about it.
[Discussion] DAE eat food they used to like, but not enjoy it anymore while eating?
/u/casual-cabbage [5'10" | CW: 145.2 | 20.8 | GW: 135 | 21F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 16:31:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92yo24/dae_eat_food_they_used_to_like_but_not_enjoy_it/
---
I had been losing so much, I figured I could squeeze in one cheat meal as both a reward and a test of strength.
Needless to say I scarfed it down--the burger, the fries, the whole nine yards--but I didn't like it when I was eating it. Now reflecting on it, I wish I hadn't eaten it. 1400 calories WASTED on food I didn't even enjoy. That didn't stop me, because I still stuffed my face with it. But I thought that eventhough I normally cant even enjoy the healthy, low cal food I eat because it has this many calories or that much fat, I'd at least be able to enjoy this, but instead I feel disgusting. I cant believe I ate all that.
I could have spent the day in a deficit or eaten something I liked, i.e. ice cream or low cal desserts, but now I've fucking wasted an enormous part of my calories on nothing.
I feel it inside of my body and I hate it. I feel it in my throat, in my stomach, on my lips, and I want that feeling gone. I wanted it out of me.
I guess I'm looking for support? I don't know. I dont want to hate myself all week for this. I dont know how to cope or fix this feeling?
[Other] A binge without guilt
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 16:31:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ynxl/a_binge_without_guilt/
---
https://i.redd.it/df6gjzvdryc11.png
[Rant/Rave] TL; DR: White Castle is the Devil and Iām a POS
/u/_Pulltab_ [5' 7"| CW 171.8 | 26.9|-23.2| F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 16:30:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ynoh/tl_dr_white_castle_is_the_devil_and_im_a_pos/
---
We went to visit my daughter today, who is in residential treatment. She had a day pass and we decided to go to White Castle for lunch (her and my husbandās favorite). I agreed, even though I never liked White Castle even before now, because they just started offering this vegan meat option (Impossible Burger) I wanted to try.
It was as if the minute we walked in I was immediately transformed into this shit-eating maniac. I ordered three of the sliders and onion rings. The sliders were gross and I only ate 2 1/3. I ate half the onion rings. Later, I searched online and found out the sliders are 300 calories each.
Yāall, I basically doubled my normal daily intake on food that was nasty and left me feeling slightly nauseous all day.
And now I donāt want to eat anything else today as punishment for being such an asshole but my plan was to fast tomorrow until dinner as is my normal weekday routine and I donāt know if I can get through a 30 hour fast given the stuff I have scheduled because Iām meeting a new client and canāt exactly be all weird and dizzy.
Faaahhhhhhkkkkk! All because I couldnāt just enjoy a Coke Zero and keep my maw shut.
Has anyone tried the Walden Farms coffee creamer?
/u/bhbubeepy
Created: Sun Jul 29 16:03:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ygqn/has_anyone_tried_the_walden_farms_coffee_creamer/
---
I'm a slut for sweet coffee and so I'm really curious about their zero calorie coffee creamer. I know it's probably 5-10 cals but I can live with that. I've heard that most of their products are hit or miss but I haven't seen many people talk about the creamer, has anyone tried it?
[Help] I need an accountability friend
/u/throwaway2019170
Created: Sun Jul 29 16:00:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92yfpc/i_need_an_accountability_friend/
---
[removed]
[Other] My girlfriend triggers me
/u/Renegade_always_was [5'6 | cw 129 | gw 115 | 20.8 | 31 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 15:59:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92yfll/my_girlfriend_triggers_me/
---
So I have been seeing this girl for awhile and letās just say she is the epitome of fast metabolism. She eats probably 1500 calories a day but is rail thin, and beautiful. Like I donāt understand.
And then there is me, a blob, just being gross, eating less than 500 a day.
Everything about her makes me want to be thin, we could be that cute couple.
Her hips and ribs and collarbones all show and her wrists are tiny and Iām so envious but I also like her so much that I try to not let it get to me.
Itās a mess of contradictions
Do you gain weight before your period?
/u/LuciePhew
Created: Sun Jul 29 15:56:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92yeyw/do_you_gain_weight_before_your_period/
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If so, how much on average (lbs)?
Sometimes I can gain up to 4lb on the run up to my period and though my brain tells me I know this happens, Iāve seen it over the years so many times, when Iām restricting I still find it sooo demotivating!
I canāt not weigh myself either :-(
[Other] Letteringās not perfect, but one of my favourite quotes
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 45 kg | 18F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 15:48:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ycri/letterings_not_perfect_but_one_of_my_favourite/
---
https://i.redd.it/m43ffwpvjyc11.jpg
[Help] Eating better with an ED
/u/theprincessofpirates
Created: Sun Jul 29 15:40:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92yaoi/eating_better_with_an_ed/
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I heavily restrict my calories and Iām wondering if there are any nutrients I need to be worried about not getting. I know I should try to eat more but for now Iām surviving on 500cals of slimfast and light soup daily. How can I work towards a more nutritious diet?
All I want to do is eat junk food all day.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Sun Jul 29 15:26:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92y6yk/all_i_want_to_do_is_eat_junk_food_all_day/
---
I hate myself too much to do so, but thatās seriously what I want. I want to be able to sit down at a table loaded with cookies, donuts, cake, peanut butter, Nutella, pancakes, bagels, ice cream, and frosting. And a gallon of ice cold milk.
I want to eat it until Iām satisfied and donāt feel like eating sugar anymore. But I canāt because I wonāt let myself and I want to cry just a little bit because I will never, ever allow myself to eat the things I want unless Iām on an out of control binge.
I hate this so much. I hate this. I hate this.
[Help] Iām so fat
/u/ballsdeeep699
Created: Sun Jul 29 15:25:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92y6sa/im_so_fat/
---
Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat Iām so fat
[Goal] It's a new week - what are your goals!
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Sun Jul 29 15:21:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92y5kq/its_a_new_week_what_are_your_goals/
---
* Only eat 9800 calories this week
* Burn off 800 calories
* High fibre diet
* Break latest plateau (on a side note, does anyone else feel like their life ~~is a never ending plateu rollercoater~~ has turned into finding new and exciting wants to break plateaus?)
* Water plants every morning
* Clean guinea pigs twice this week
* Write in journal every other day
* Not sit on my phone at work
restriction advice(?)
/u/kreisler19
Created: Sun Jul 29 15:05:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92y18r/restriction_advice/
---
Iāve had 9 binge free days. I brought my weight down to 121 lbs (100 or less is goal), but Iām stuck. I binged just now. I really hate this feeling (then why did I do it right? lol). I canāt even be asked to purge because I donāt want to taste it anymore. I feel like Iāve gained about my thighs and face. Iām in a state where I donāt want to see my lowkey crush because I just feel so ugly.
Either way Iām restarting my restriction. How do you guys restrict? I want to study too so how do you find the energy to study?
[Rant/Rave] triggered and a little envious.
/u/tifaloch
Created: Sun Jul 29 14:57:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92xz1c/triggered_and_a_little_envious/
---
i did my usual hike to the ocean today and when i got to the little beach town, there were 4 girls behind me in line (i was buying water). they all were talking about how they purged the food they ate last night and how they would purge the food they were about to buy... they were all sharing stories of how successful or unsuccessful their attempts were last night and tips on how to purge what they were about to buy. they seemed so supportive of each other and their EDs.
i immediately felt triggered to continue my fast after screwing up... and i felt like a failure for not purging my binge last night (i usually āpurgeā by restricting the next few days, as iām not strong enough to puke). and then i felt kinda jealous i donāt have buddies like that. and thatās super sick of me and now i just feel like an asshole. ugh.
No binge week day 7: I failed, how did you do?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | CW: 60kg| GW: 58kg | UGW: 50kg | LW:56kg | 25F ]
Created: Sun Jul 29 13:50:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92xgzu/no_binge_week_day_7_i_failed_how_did_you_do/
---
So I had a horrible weekend. Depressed. Crying. Waiting for my new meds to come through (taking their sweet time tbh) and I binged. Whole box of cereal, chinese takeaway, chocolate...you name it.
BUT...tomorrow is a new day. I feel very dark and depressed but I'm going to use this particularly bad period of my time to get better.
How did you do?
My Lactose intolerance giving me an eating dossorder?
/u/Dragonman369
Created: Sun Jul 29 13:34:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92xcjx/my_lactose_intolerance_giving_me_an_eating/
---
I have recently became mildy or even somewhat overtly allergic to lactose products.
But i do indulge in eating dairy products given i a have free time and i am at home.
But i realize that all i am doing is technically purging and technically giving myself an someehat ED.
I certainly enjoy eating dairy products but i have to ask is eating dairy products like deserts.
Is eating dairy products like the perfect way to purge?
Should i stop? Am i destroying my body?
Also if i eat icecream do i still digest all the sugars or does all the suger i eat go straight away?
Note: i dont have any eating dissorders other than willfully eating food i am allergic to.
[Help] How do you lose weight if youāre underweight?
/u/2ndfirstday [:redditgold: 5'5" | C 102.6 | G 95 | :downvote:1 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 13:26:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92xabp/how_do_you_lose_weight_if_youre_underweight/
---
I know itās a lot easier to lose more weight when you weigh more. Iām struggling to go down at this point. Just been fasting but even then itās hard to shed anything.
[Goal] I need some positive vibes
/u/river-of-souls
Created: Sun Jul 29 13:13:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92x6yc/i_need_some_positive_vibes/
---
My goal was to weight 140lbs by the end of July, and right now I weight about 143lbs. I'm so proud of how far I came, and I really think I can push through these last three days to loose what I need to reach my goal. If anyone has some inspiring words or positive bmvibes to share, please do. I really need it to help keep me on track.
[Discussion] DAE fixate on potentially disordered behaviour in others?
/u/johanna-means-family
Created: Sun Jul 29 13:01:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92x3ni/dae_fixate_on_potentially_disordered_behaviour_in/
---
And by disordered behaviour I mean stuff more along the lines of little details rather than something evident like a person skipping meals.
For example, I follow Kaia Gerber on Instagram and she posted [this](https://imgur.com/a/r2C9MFF) on her story. Now it seems pretty innocuous and I decided to give the song a listen and I definitely got ED vibes from it. I mean how can you not with lyrics like this:
āIf I wasnāt this ā with some bigger lips and some smaller hips ā would you love me?ā
Of course this isnāt the sole reason I feel like she has an ED. But lately Iāve felt hypersensitive towards details like this. Maybe itās because now I know what to look for?
Thoughts?
When do you trust the scale?? (Or try to lol)
/u/ShannonAnon
Created: Sun Jul 29 12:53:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92x1i5/when_do_you_trust_the_scale_or_try_to_lol/
---
Iāve always weighed myself right after I get up, after I go to the bathroom and before I eat or drink anything. I was told this gave you the most reliable results... recently Iāve weighed myself in the morning and then out of curiosity weighed myself a few hours later after a workout, and I weighed 3-4 pounds less than earlier that morning??
Is it a fluke? Should I trust the first number more or the second? Iād like to be accurate and donāt want to falsely get my hopes up.
[Tip] Tips?
/u/coffeecreamer06
Created: Sun Jul 29 12:52:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92x17t/tips/
---
On restricting and tappering off of food. I don't usually think of food 24/7 with the help of my birth control but I've noticed my sweet tooth has been acting up. What are some ways I can keep the hunger at bay, keep the headaches away and have energy? Sorry if this has been asked here several times as i haven't checked in this subreddit for months but I'm baaaack š
[Discussion] DAE fixate one potentially disordered behaviour in other people?
/u/johanna-means-family
Created: Sun Jul 29 12:49:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92x0bq/dae_fixate_one_potentially_disordered_behaviour/
---
And by disordered behaviour I mean stuff more along the lines of little details rather than something evident like a person skipping meals.
For example, I follow Kaia Gerber on Instagram and she posted [this](https://imgur.com/a/r2C9MFF) on her story. Now it seems pretty innocuous and I decided to give the song a listen and I definitely got ED vibes from it. I mean how can you not with lyrics like this:
āIf I wasnāt this ā with some bigger lips and some smaller hips ā would you love me?ā
Of course this isnāt the sole reason I feel like she has an ED. But lately Iāve felt hypersensitive towards details like this. Maybe itās because now I know what to look for?
Thoughts?
[Rant/Rave] Triggered by Skyping a friend?
/u/eyjafjallafuckyall [17F | 156cm | HW 53,7kg | LW 38,7kg | CW 45,4kg]
Created: Sun Jul 29 12:44:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92wyze/triggered_by_skyping_a_friend/
---
So I talked to my german host-sister today over Skype for the first time in a long time, and I feel so bad about this, but as we were talking, all I could notice was how easily I could use her as thinspo? like sheās only 2cm taller than me, and I think she must be close to my LW. You can see here collarbones, and the bones in her shoulders, and Iām just very jealous and a horrible person. It makes me sad though, because I miss her, and I love talking to her, but I keep thinking like this whenever we do talk. :(
[Help] Nausea from fasting/restricting...?
/u/lupoverde
Created: Sun Jul 29 12:36:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92wwuv/nausea_from_fastingrestricting/
---
So today I've had a pretty large sandwich, a can of sprite, 2 coffees... And its 8:30pm. But I'm feeling pretty nauseous... I've also slept pretty little and maybe not drank enough water? Does anyone else feel a bit sick from eating little? Does it go away? How do you deal with it?
[Rant/Rave] urge to eat my emotions is gone
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: binged]
Created: Sun Jul 29 12:17:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92wrop/urge_to_eat_my_emotions_is_gone/
---
I have a habit of binging whenever I am depressed or stressed out, but ive been disinterested in food lately. today I broke up with my bf and surprisingly Iām not feeling the urge to get food. if this was 2 months ago I wouldāve ordered a pizza already. bodies are so weird
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/u/aryan167
Created: Sun Jul 29 11:48:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92wjro/itools_4395_crack_full_license_key_2018_free/
---
http://crackfullreal.com/itools-4-3-9-5-full-license-key/
[Other] Is this recovery? (Made up a meal plan that's over 1700 calories!)
/u/kernalmustache [169cm ā | CW 100lbs | BMI 15.9 | SW 130lbs šø]
Created: Sun Jul 29 11:31:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92wfdq/is_this_recovery_made_up_a_meal_plan_thats_over/
---
I was considering posting this in the daily food diary thread, but I won't actually be eating this for at least another week, so I don't think it would belong there. I saw somebody post about the website *Cronometer.com* so I decided to check it out and I realized how much more useful it is for planning meals than MyFitnessPal is. MFP is still better for recording meals, but that wasn't what I was doing this morning. [I spent this morning working on a meal plan that would give me all of the vitamins and minerals I need every day!](https://imgur.com/i4QUuVR) Well, at least most of them. I'm a little low on Vitamin E and potassium, but not much I can do about that without gaining weight. That's kinda where the title comes in I guess, *is it recovery if you're not gaining any weight?*
It's kind of a messy format, so I'd like to break it down into the separate meals. For breakfast I would be eating the muesli cereal and the milk with a banana and the meal replacement shake. It's a pretty huge breakfast, but I guess that's the best way to start the day, right? š
For lunch I would make an omelete out of the eggs, half a bell pepper, half a cup of broccoli, and a quarter cup of shredded cheese. To drink I would have a glass of water with that electrolyte stuff. I don't know if I would use that brand specifically, but I imagine different brands would throw off my numbers and possibly ruin my plan, so I probably will. I might have the other banana at lunch time, or I might save it as a snack for after dinner. I haven't decided yet. š Dinner would spaghetti with meat sauce. I would add the other half of the bell pepper and another half cup of broccoli to the sauce. I also planned out if I replaced the chicken with tofu and it's almost 100 calories less and the fats in tofu are much healthier. If I didn't already have a pound of chicken in my freezer I would definitely try that to see how it tastes. When it's ready to eat I would mix in another quarter cup of shredded cheese just because I like that. š I added two cans of Coke Zero to the plan because I figured I would probably drink one or two of those at some point in the day, and it adds to both my sodium and my potassium measurements so I figured it was worth it. Since I'm on a diuretic I can technically tell people that Coke Zero is an important part of my diet! š
I want to know, what would you guys change about this or what plans would you guys come up with instead? Basically, what would you do if you decided to stop losing weight?
[Help] Getting chinese for dinner makes me panic LMAO
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Sun Jul 29 11:13:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92wahl/getting_chinese_for_dinner_makes_me_panic_lmao/
---
Been out with family today, already ate a cupcake (200cal) and currently on my way home and was planning on sautĆ©ing some veggies and having that for dinner. Parents are starving and want a takeout. Aaaaaaa! Getting chinese and Iām going to get what I always get, chicken curry and fried rice, how many calories are in a chinese takeaway curry??? My mind is going crazy and Iām panicking - if Iāve only had a cupcake and have a curry, that could still be a deficit right? It canāt total up to much more than 1500 right? Itās not what I wanted but itās not a completely awful day right? Or am I just kidding myself lmao pls help my obsessive worrying
[Rant/Rave] I really want to smash my head through a wall
/u/Internet_Soup
Created: Sun Jul 29 11:11:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92wa2y/i_really_want_to_smash_my_head_through_a_wall/
---
I went out with my family and cousins yesterday for one of their birthdays. With celebrations.. come food. I was trying to plan my day on how I would eat so I didn't over eat anything or go over my calories. BUT INSTEAD!!!! My dumb head decided to have a sangria and fettuccine for dinner!
When I got home I barely had any strength left since I had only slept less than 4 hours and decided not to purge.
When I woke up today, I weighed my fat self and the scale said 63.8kg.. and yes! You guessed it correctly. I'm now a current mess regretting the choices I made. Now for today, I'll be restricting a shit ton so I can feel better ever so slightly.
[Goal] Is it possible?
/u/inadequatewillow
Created: Sun Jul 29 10:56:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92w5wx/is_it_possible/
---
I want to go from 122 to 115 in 3 weeks (by Aug 23). Think itās possible? How would you go about it? I can do 2-3 day fasts ok but tend to fall of the wagon on weekends. Height 5.5ā btw. TIA!
What do you do the day after a binge to make yourself feel better?
/u/babybreathheart
Created: Sun Jul 29 10:48:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92w3u6/what_do_you_do_the_day_after_a_binge_to_make/
---
[Other] What can I eat that is low sodium and low carb?
/u/MissMichuMoo [1.68m| CW57kg | bmi 20.4 | HW73kg| GW55kg | 26F:cake:]
Created: Sun Jul 29 10:45:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92w2rx/what_can_i_eat_that_is_low_sodium_and_low_carb/
---
We have a weight loss competition at work and weigh in day is on Tuesday. This morning I weighed 55kg and now 57kg. I'm sure it's water weight but I only have tomorrow left and I need to eat well for optimum results. I'm planning on doing a protein shake for breakfast and then something for lunch (low in sodium and carbs) and I plan on skipping dinner. I will be doing a sweat inducing exercise and drinking a shit ton of green tea and water. What would be a good lunch to have?
Carbonated cranberry juice for breakfast
/u/newforvevernever [5'6'' | CW 113.7 | GW 101 | WL 4 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 10:45:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92w2rg/carbonated_cranberry_juice_for_breakfast/
---
Picked up a bottle of Trader Joe's 100% cranberry juice for only about 3 bucks, I thinkācould have been $4 but pretty sure it was $3. (The Knudsen's one is like $8!)
I also get free carbonated water from work. They carry not La Croix but Talking Rain. Since the tartness of cran juice is a little much and I always water down the juice I get anyway, I reached for the Brita, but then gave the Talking Rain a thought and added that, instead! It's only 35 cals for a half a cup, and plus the carbonation, it's almost like drinking a kombucha on the cheap! With the hot weather where I'm at it was a pretty refreshing breakfast drink. Plus, drinking it in half cups like this is bang for your buck. Def makes you pee though.
[Rant/Rave] the almighty whoosh
/u/throwawayjhs0218 [5'2/F | CW: 222 | GW: 95]
Created: Sun Jul 29 10:30:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92vz16/the_almighty_whoosh/
---
i've been restricting for 2 days (around 800-900 calories a day so higher than most) and this morning i discovered i lost 10 lbs overnight! i know it's just water weight but i'm still really happy to see the scale go down ā¤ļø
[Other] I hate feeling full
/u/emptysafehaven
Created: Sun Jul 29 10:28:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92vyg4/i_hate_feeling_full/
---
I have an internal panic attack when I eat so much I actually feel satisfied. I used to binge, and over time I developed a phobia of that horrible feeling of discomfort. Feeling empty is the best. It's true what people say, it's similar to a high.
Aside from this, I also get nervous when I don't feel hungry. It makes me think I miscalculated my calories and actually ate a normal amount. That's really unlikely but my brain makes up a bunch of irrational excuses when I get this way.
Is this a bizarre way to feel? I assume most people like to feel satisfied and dislike the feeling of hunger. Just wondering if anyone going through the same thing can relate to me.
[Other] American Eagle, size 2 (top) vs Bongo, size 9 (bottom). A friendly reminder that numbers mean shit.
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | self-care]
Created: Sun Jul 29 09:42:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92vmmw/american_eagle_size_2_top_vs_bongo_size_9_bottom/
---
https://i.redd.it/vb6zpn6jqwc11.jpg
Yummy 45 calorie bedtime drink!
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Sun Jul 29 09:37:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92vlio/yummy_45_calorie_bedtime_drink/
---
I like to sip on this at night before bed while reading/ browsing the web. Makes me super sleepy.
1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk- 20 cal
6 g honey-20 cal
Sprinkle of cinnamon- 0
Splash of vanilla extract- 5
Heat all these ingredients together. Drink.
Orthorexic and Disordered Eating Behaviour Survey
/u/madswell
Created: Sun Jul 29 09:30:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92vjib/orthorexic_and_disordered_eating_behaviour_survey/
---
Hello!Ā
I am a student at Swinburne University in Melbourne, Australia. Iām currently undertaking a research project as part of a Bachelor of Psychological Science (Honours). I am investigating the factors involved in the development and maintenance of orthorexic and disordered eating behaviours. The factors to be explored centre around issues of control (e.g. how comfortable or uncomfortable are you with feeling uncertain about life?).
The study involves an online survey (average completion time is approximately just 15 mins) and everyone over the age of 18 (world wide) is welcome to participate!
All responses are completely anonymous and approval for this research has been granted by the Swinburne Human Research Ethics Committee (SUHREC) in line with the Australian National Health and Medical Research Council guidelines.
If you would like to help contribute to the research please follow the link:
[https://swinuw.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_8qD4szIZsvUoK2x](https://swinuw.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_8qD4szIZsvUoK2x)
Cheers!
[Discussion] DAE only eat at night so they know a meal won't be sprung in them?
/u/Call_me_Cassius [5'5" | CW: š | GW: 98lb | -30lb | M21]
Created: Sun Jul 29 09:22:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92vhgf/dae_only_eat_at_night_so_they_know_a_meal_wont_be/
---
I usually tell myself I can eat x food tomorrow morning if I weigh in at y weight. But then it's the next morning and I don't eat it because what if one of my friends invites me to dinner? What if my family decides we're going out? What if some other food thing comes up that I don't have control over and I need all my calorie allowance? So I can only eat at night, once it's late enough that we're probably not gonna do anything.
(and then I end up telling myself that there's no point in eating at 11:00pm and I should wait and eat it tomorrow morning and the cycle continues and I will probably never eat my god damn plain lays)
[Rant/Rave] Forced PHP
/u/lokiapologist
Created: Sun Jul 29 08:53:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92vac1/forced_php/
---
2 weeks ago my parents made me start going to a PHP program for my eating disorder. I'm 19 so technically it's my choice, however my parents threaten to throw me out on the street if I don't go which is fucked up. I've gained so much weight in there and I'm fucking done. They can throw me out for all I care.
[Discussion] Anyone else feel more pressure to lose weight after diagnosis?
/u/ballsdeeep699
Created: Sun Jul 29 08:31:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92v4zg/anyone_else_feel_more_pressure_to_lose_weight/
---
Despite being at a healthy weight, Iāve recently been diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia and I feel SO MUCH PRESSURE to lose weight. And because Iām so stressed it only makes me more prone to binging because of comfort eating.
[Discussion] I woke up sick this morning
/u/JimMakingTheFace [5ā5ā | CW:133 | GW: 120]
Created: Sun Jul 29 08:30:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92v4xf/i_woke_up_sick_this_morning/
---
So it looks like my day will be spent throwing up and eating saltines when I can in an attempt to get my stomach to stop rumbling.
Stepping on the scale after this will be glorious, though.
How much damage can I do in 3 days?
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 08:08:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92uzv1/how_much_damage_can_i_do_in_3_days/
---
Just need some facts....Iām losing my mind a little. I finally got back down to 91lbs after a really good few days of restricting. Came up to the cottage Friday and it all went out the window....I only get to come a couple times a year so I tried to let loose but I have no idea how many calories I had yesterday. I got super drunk and lost count of alcohol calories - Iām guessing probably 7 or 8 rum shots, at least 3 glasses of white wine sangria, two glasses of wine.....plus food. Everyone around here cooks every meal. If I donāt eat itās a whole ordeal so I just eat.
Yesterday I had a piece of bacon and one egg for breakfast and thought I was on the right track so I had a Greek yogurt - thereās 200 calories right there....then lunch came around and I was so hungry, but just had a slice of cheese....fast forward many drinks later, dinner was a 8 hour roasted chicken, mixed veggies (mushroom pepper and zucchini) and ceaser salad. I never eat dressing...I ate seconds of everything. Then the night got blurry and I woke up this morning and realized before bed I ate sāmores (no chocolate just graham cracker and marshmallow) and probably half a bag of sour cream and onion chips....split with the others but still...no idea how many sāmores. Iām feeling so anxious. I feel like I couldāve eaten upwards of 5,000 calories after already eating at my TDEE Friday as well....and now we have today...I just want to be able to enjoy myself and I canāt. I can feel myself getting fatter. I want to go back so badly
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/u/aryan167
Created: Sun Jul 29 08:05:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92uz68/dvdfab_10203_full_version_crack_keygen_2018/
---
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[Rant/Rave] I messed up yesterday
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1.5" | CW202.4 | BMI38 | -18 | 22M]
Created: Sun Jul 29 07:58:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92uxej/i_messed_up_yesterday/
---
I ate a DISGUSTING amount of food yesterday. I stayed at my TDEE but I feel so awful. I'm up 2 lbs until I poop, it looks like. God, I hope they come back off. I feel like death. I did it to see if anything changed in the last 30 days. Could I enjoy eating a ton of food again? Of course not. I was 30 days binge free. I'm so angry. I screwed all that up and I feel like a hypocrite. It wasn't worth it.
[Other] I posted a picture of myself
/u/Sgt_rumble
Created: Sun Jul 29 07:44:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92uuhi/i_posted_a_picture_of_myself/
---
And before saying anything about myself people assumed I had anorexia.
And omg it made me feel so good!!!!! I look so tiny and skinny they noticed!! I didnāt even particularly like the photo and was mainly just noticing the fat on my upper arms but then ahhhh Iām so happy right now I want to go purge my dinner!!!!!!!!
[Help] Stomach pain after eating?
/u/Parzivaals
Created: Sun Jul 29 07:27:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ur0a/stomach_pain_after_eating/
---
I donāt know if this is appropriate to ask so if it isnāt, Iām incredibly sorry. I havenāt been restricting well at all lately since I moved in with my boyfriend and itās been killing me ā I only had ten more pounds left to lose but now Iām eating between 1200-godknowswhat calories a day and it kills me. Besides that, Iāve been having the worst stomach pain after I eat to the point where I have to stop everything Iām doing and just sit for like half an hour until it passes.
I donāt know if itās what Iām eating (usually coffee or a small bagel bite or something) or if itās because Iām eating in general? But this never happened when I was restricting. Has this ever happened to any of you guys? Iām incredibly scared and donāt know if this is something serious.
[Discussion] DAE sometimes get jealous of children?
/u/midnightregrets
Created: Sun Jul 29 07:21:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92upv9/dae_sometimes_get_jealous_of_children/
---
Jesus christ... how do I even begin..
Because of the increasing temperature customers now often wear more revealing clothing at my workplace, which I already find quite difficult since I keep involuntary comparing myself to a lot of people in my head. But lately I keep catching myself looking at children's arms and legs and feeling envious!
The first few times it happened it really shocked me and that has now turned into extreme disgust towards myself. God, it makes me feel like I'm some sort of harasser. I feel like I have to punish myself somehow for even remotely thinking about this, even though I'm convinced that I don't want these thoughts in the first place!
I just feel so guilty and sorry towards these innocent children that haven't even been through fucking puberty yet (!) for involving them in my ED thoughts. Besides that, I also feel sorry towards their parents and my boss because I'm one of the worst human beings ever in general.
I wouldn't wish having these thoughts upon anybody, but please tell me I'm not alone in this?
If anyone took time out of their day to read this, thank you in advance :)
[Rant/Rave] I almost cried in Asda
/u/shonamairead [5'6 | CW - 151lbs | GW - 120| F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 06:51:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ujrw/i_almost_cried_in_asda/
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I just went to Asda with my dad to get some low cal ice cream and some sushi and they didnāt have ANY Iām so fucking mad and hungry I started tearing up standing at the freezer looking at my own reflection lmao Iām just gonna go home and drink my Coke Zero and cry
Daily Food Diary! July 29, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 29 06:11:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ucku/daily_food_diary_july_29_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 29, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 29 06:11:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ucj1/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
My ED is the only static thing in my life
/u/ScottSteinerPhD [5'8" | CW: 109 | 16.4 | 30M]
Created: Sun Jul 29 05:56:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92u98d/my_ed_is_the_only_static_thing_in_my_life/
---
It's nice to know while my world crashes down around me, while I'm drunk and high at 451am is that my shitty eating disorder is still going to hang around and make shit worse. It's like, "hey bud, know you're dealing a lot of scary change, but I'm still here!"
It makes me uncomfortable how, well, comforting it is I can at still control this shit. Sort of.
So cheers to you, fucked up ED. At least I can control how little I eat in my life. Jeez, that sounds fucked up.
Also, rant/rave, I guess. I'm on mobile.
[Tip] For all the ortho folks: an anxiety-reducer
/u/linedryonly [5'5"ā| CW 133 | SW 145 | LW 102 | GW 110]
Created: Sun Jul 29 05:29:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92u4t8/for_all_the_ortho_folks_an_anxietyreducer/
---
Maybe I'm late to the party, but I've just recently discovered [cronometer.com](https://cronometer.com) and it's really helping to reduce my anxiety around nutrition. It takes in to account whatever diet you are on, your weight goals (both gaining and losing), and calculates your goals and consumption of every vitamin, mineral, and nutrient. I'm doing vegan keto right now and using chronometer is helping me to figure out what I need to supplement. Highly recommend.
[Rant/Rave] Confession...
/u/KattyWampus666 [:karma:163cm | SW: 123kg CW: 93kg | 27F:karma:]
Created: Sun Jul 29 05:18:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92u3a7/confession/
---
I feel like I crossed a line *(that I said a million times that I wouldnt cross)*...
Last night I purged for the first time *(it wasn't even THAT much cake, I just instantly was so disgusted with myself for breaking my fast on such a shitty food).* It wasnt even really a conscious decision... I just knew that I regretted eating and needed to get the calories OUT!
Im currently part proud and part horrified. My dumb ass decided to take a bunch of laxatives as well so Im suffering pretty badly this morning. Wtf is wrong with me?
[Discussion] Vlcd shakes
/u/Happy_Holly87
Created: Sun Jul 29 04:58:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92u03v/vlcd_shakes/
---
Has anyone done one of these diets? I just bought a box online and looking to see if anyone recommends them?
my friend who works at panera brought an entire trash bag full of bread to a party
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 112| LW: 110 |HW: 134|UGW: 105|19F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 04:52:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92tz8v/my_friend_who_works_at_panera_brought_an_entire/
---
self control? i don't know her
Getting black out drunk oops
/u/clare988
Created: Sun Jul 29 03:14:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92tl9p/getting_black_out_drunk_oops/
---
So I guess I kinda forgot last night that when you're eating >500 calories a day (to ācompensateā for the alcohol of course) and your last meal was 7 hours ago it takes a LOT less booze to get you drunk. I wasn't just drunk. I was absolutely smashed, and now I'm extremely anxious about what I said/did. Of course I don't remember much.
Not only did I drink way too much but I took, and offered to other people, ketamine. It was a casual birthday get-together with a few friends. Wtf is wrong with me. At least they said yes lol.
Only positive is that I apparently came home at like 12.30pm so I guess my drunkeness didn't play out for hours and hours.
I love my friends and I'm anxious as hell I embarrassed myself and I feel like a fuckin idiot. Has anyone else had a similar drinking experience when restricting?
[Discussion] The absolutely terrible, thoroughly no good diet
/u/billiedove [5'8 | 114 | 17.3 | Who even knows anymore | F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 02:06:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92tbl7/the_absolutely_terrible_thoroughly_no_good_diet/
---
Alright whatās your worst day of eating in recent memory. Hit me with the trashy stuff.
Today I had 6 almonds, five shots of tequila and two pints of beer. But honestly the nuts feel healthy. Like I feel fine right now.
But iād say a pretty bad one was that time I ate a bag of cheetos after fasting for 48h and then drank two bottles of wine with a friend. Low-key wanted to die.
Your turn.
Anybody else into minimalism?
/u/blazeroftrails
Created: Sun Jul 29 01:36:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92t73l/anybody_else_into_minimalism/
---
I think it relates to my ED to be honest. I just want my life to be neat and perfect and small and not take up too much space and that includes my body. When I get older and have my own place I just want like a bed a mirror and some potted plants lol. 2014 minimalist tumblr aesthetic is my fucking shit, bring on the black and white. Iāve never been attached to shit. My mom keeps huge bins of just sentimental things from when she was a kid and my old artwork and things like that and itās sweet but like in my opinion if itās something I wonāt remember if I toss it then itās not important enough to keep. This is totally an off topic rant sorry but i love this shit.
[Rant/Rave] bingeing taken less seriously than restricting
/u/iluvmnms [163cm | CW: 52kg | BMI: 19.6 | GW: 48kg| UGW: 44kg | 18F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 01:29:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92t5y8/bingeing_taken_less_seriously_than_restricting/
---
i hate everything about binging. i relapsed with b/p last night but i am definitely not doing that again. but i hate binging. so much. i don't want to do it again. it puts me through so much shit and i get nothing for it, i don't get skinnier i just get more comments from my parents telling me how i shouldn't eat so much junk food. they don't understand the level of dependency and i don't think they would if i tried explaining it. it's like if you don't eat you have a problem but if you eat too much you're the problem. it makes me want to fast for a week so when they do notice they're actually concerned, and i guess i just want to prove something. i know it's not new but the stigma around binging or bulimia drives me crazy. some people don't understand the disordered thinking about it, they just think that u have no self control and that you're pigging out and you ''love food XDDD'' people think that b/p or just binging is some sort of over indulgence which is so undermining because i feel like it's such a punishment to yourself. sorry if this is a bit whiny and messy. i used to never understand restricting and not eating but now i do. because i get so much comfort from it, so much control, but i lost it all when i binge.
[Rant/Rave] binging taken less seriously than restricting?
/u/iluvmnms [163cm | CW: 52kg | BMI: 19.6 | GW: 48kg| UGW: 44kg | 18F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 01:28:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92t5ql/binging_taken_less_seriously_than_restricting/
---
i hate everything about binging. i relapsed with b/p last night but i am definitely not doing that again. but i hate binging. so much. i don't want to do it again. it puts me through so much shit and i get nothing for it, i don't get skinnier i just get more comments from my parents telling me how i shouldn't eat so much junk food. they don't understand the level of dependency and i don't think they would if i tried explaining it. it's like if you don't eat you have a problem but if you eat too much you're the problem. it makes me want to fast for a week so when they do notice they're actually concerned, and i guess i just want to prove something. i know it's not new but the stigma around binging or bulimia drives me crazy. some people don't understand the disordered thinking about it, they just think that u have no self control and that you're pigging out and you ''lovee food XDDD'' people think that b/p or just binging is some sort of over indulgence which is so undermining because i feel like it's such a punishment to yourself. sorry if this is a bit whiny and messy. i used to never understand restricting and not eating but now i do. because i get so much comfort from it, so much control, but i lost it all when i binge.
God I canāt wait to move out
/u/blazeroftrails
Created: Sun Jul 29 01:26:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92t5cj/god_i_cant_wait_to_move_out/
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Itās not that I hate my parents or anything Iām just so fucking tired of having to plan my eating around my meals with them and make up excuses. I donāt want to get crazy thin, I wonāt go below 16.5 or so but I just want to stop being scared that theyāre gonna find out shit. Being an adult sounds fucking awesome, I know thatās naive but it does. I want to have my own tiny little apartment or even just my own room in a shared apartment that I can keep clean and absolutely empty and super minimalist. And that includes my fridge lol. And I canāt wait to go vegan. Been vegetarian for 8 years but apparently being vegan is unhealthy. Well Iām already unhealthy so might as well just go all in and stop some more animal suffering while Iām at it. Anyways thanks for listening to my ted talk, TLDR I canāt wait to be 18.
Starting keto- support and wisdom welcome!
/u/linedryonly [5'5"ā| CW 133 | SW 145 | LW 102 | GW 110]
Created: Sun Jul 29 00:26:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92svw5/starting_keto_support_and_wisdom_welcome/
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I have a serious carb addiction and have been using the cravings as a crutch to support and rationalize binging on the daily. I was doing really well at the beginning of the year, but have gained 20 lbs of binge weight since then and I can't go on like this. The solution: start keto and kill the carb addiction. Any advice or words of wisdom? Anyone want to do this with me?
[Discussion] Has anyone found that fasting and b/p-ing has resulted in intense stomach pain once you started eating regularly?
/u/avocados_on_toast [168cm | CW: 50kg | 17.7 | Lost: 20kg | F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 00:17:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92suj4/has_anyone_found_that_fasting_and_bping_has/
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I used to eat one small meal a day and would fast for the rest or I would b/p every so often. Recently I've been eating a little bit more than I used to, only fasting a couple days a week instead of all the time. Ever since then though I've been getting intense stomach pain with each meal. Have any of you guys experience the same thing? if so, did you find foods that didn't cause as much pain?
I want to go to treatment
/u/MSplinterED
Created: Sun Jul 29 00:15:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92su42/i_want_to_go_to_treatment/
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I'm tired of gaining weight and becoming obese. Then purging and restricting and staying at a "good" weight for a while. Then going back to trying to eat normally, and becoming obese obese. Then purging till I feel good again
Fucking cycle. The whole thing. It's fucking crazy. I just want to be a healthy weight and happy with my body and be able to eat healthily.
I'm so tried of this bullshit
if someone came across a post with this title on our sub we would get crucified... love those double standards š«ššš
/u/paxtonjulia [5'2 | 110 | 20.1 | gw 98 | 20 F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 00:15:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92stzz/if_someone_came_across_a_post_with_this_title_on/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/92oy5u/how_i_eat_less/
[Help] What do you do when you feel out of control?
/u/nordic_alien [167cm | 130lbs | 22 | 20lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 29 00:11:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92stga/what_do_you_do_when_you_feel_out_of_control/
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I keep telling myself Iāll easily be able to eat at 1000 cals or less and the last few days and j hand binged every single day at 1600+ cals. I had a mental break down a couple hours ago because of it. Even though Iāve been running an hour a day the last week, my weight has actually gone up. I feel bloated and gross, and Iām drinking so much water because itās so hot here, which is making me more bloated. :( I feel so out of control. Thinking of fasting or anything to re motivate me.. any ideas?
I hate that I love binging
/u/IntoYourHeart [4'11" | 135 lbs | -85 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 23:47:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92sp4j/i_hate_that_i_love_binging/
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god I'm drunk and I just need to get this off my chest tonight. I love binge eating but I hate hate HATE it at the same time. Food makes me so happy. It's the only thing that makes me happy. I cook a bunch of meals for me to binge on all at once in the middle of the night and god I love it so much but at the same time I despise it. It makes me feel wonderful and terrible at the same time. Food is my only comfort and I love it ... But I hate it at the same time. I'm sorry if none of this makes sense y'all. I've had a lot of alcohol tonight and I've been binginv like a madman all day so im completely out of my mind. I feel so fucked up. How did I get like this? Why can't I be normal...
[Rant/Rave] Just got triggered by my mom today š
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Sat Jul 28 23:32:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92sm9l/just_got_triggered_by_my_mom_today/
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My mom, sister, and I were all sitting and talking around the kitchen table when the discussion somehow managed to direct to some family friends and their weight. They kept bringing up people who lost a shit ton of weight and then my mom proceeds to look at me and jokingly make a comment about how I should follow suit and stop being a lazy, fat slob. I laughed it off on the outside, but on the inside I was like fuckkkkkkkkkkkk š¤¬
The sad part is that I actually like that sheās triggered me. Itās sick to know I like being ridiculed for my weight and have been waiting for someone to bring it up just to trigger me in the process. How fucked is that? Now Iām just panicking in my head since then, and as soon as tomorrow rolls around Iām taking my ass straight to the gym early in the morning and fasting the whole fucking week. Gotta show all these bitches up and finally get comments about being too thin again and not about being a fat, disgusting, worthless mess. Which I am atm...
[Discussion] Weird confession
/u/eighttorches
Created: Sat Jul 28 23:19:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92sjz4/weird_confession/
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Please tell me im not the only one that uses petite nsfw subreddits as thinspo or am i really that messed up. Its mainly because thats what my bf is attracted to and it fuels my ed like mad haha sorry
[Other] suĆuĆŗÅŖPER FILLING AND OĢĢĶĶĢ“Ķ Ķ ĶĶĢĢ£Ķ
Ģ¦Ģ²ĶNĢĶĢĶĢĶØĶ¦ĶĶĢĶLĢĢĢĶĶĢ“ĢŗĢ£ĢĢĢ°ĶĢ²YĶĢĶĶĢ°Ģ¬ĢĶĢ¦ ĶĢĶĶĶ¦ĢĶĶ2ĶŖĢ½ĶĢĶ§ĶĢ¢Ķ ĶĶ0Ķ£ĢĢĢĶĢĶ¬ĢĢ“ĶĢ±0Ķ§ĢĶĶ¦ĢæĶ„ĶĢ“ĶĢŖ Ķ®Ģ“Ģ¶Ģ¦Ģ£ĶĢ²ĶĢĶĶCĢ¾ĶĶĢ
ĢĶĢ½ĶĶĢŗAĶĢĢĶŖĶĢĶ”Ķ ĶĢ„Ģ„LĢĢĢĶĢĢĢ¾ĢĢ
Ķ¢Ģ ĶĢĢ»SĢĶ„ĶĶ¬ĶĶ ĶĢĢĢ°ĢĢ¤Ģ³ĢĶĶ
!ĶŖĶ§Ķ¤ĢĢĶ¢Ķ ĶĶĢĢĢ!ĢĢĢ
Ģ“ĶĶĢ©ĶĢĢ
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 136 | GW: 111 | -28 lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 28 22:57:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92sfmp/suĆ¼uĆŗÅ«per_filling_and_only_200_cals/
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https://i.redd.it/7l0fgs6ljtc11.jpg
[Discussion] Can we get a game of āWould You Rather: proED Editionā going?
/u/deadlylikesugar
Created: Sat Jul 28 22:24:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92s97e/can_we_get_a_game_of_would_you_rather_proed/
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Lonely Saturday night out there for anyone else?? Lol
Iāll go first. Would you rather: have a particularly repulsive and difficult purge sesh OR take enough laxatives to have you cramping/stuck on the toilet for hours?
(I know what youāre thinking but I totally did not use my own experience as inspiration for this post Iām lying ok yes you caught me)
One step forward, two steps back
/u/isthistheendtimes
Created: Sat Jul 28 21:37:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92rzm3/one_step_forward_two_steps_back/
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Hey all,
I'm on a throwaway, but this is also my first time posting. My main account has a lot about my career (I'm a teacher) and I'm very paranoid about my eating disorder being outed if I'm ever doxxed.
Long story short- I've had some form of ED for 13 years. Was AN in high school, slowly morphed to bulimia after college. I had a minor \*ahem\* breakdown about two weeks ago in which I decided that I was ready to actually recover. Not bullshit "recovery" where I secretly still cling to my ED. Actually recover. I finally admitted to my boyfriend that I have a problem, I told some close friends- tried to set myself up to be held accountable. I went a week without purging. I was very proud of myself.
Then tonight, the first time I've been back in my apartment by myself, that all went out the window. I ate dinner and almost immediately lapsed into a binge and then purged. And I missed it? But I hate it?
Basically I'm frustrated that my rational brain wants out but my animal brain is CLINGING to my ED. And honestly, I'm kind of scared of life without it? Just looking for support or people who understand what I'm feeling, because it's very lonely.
[Rant/Rave] Fuck my brain for creating problems that donāt exist
/u/aprilfades
Created: Sat Jul 28 21:26:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92rxdr/fuck_my_brain_for_creating_problems_that_dont/
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One of the worst things about having an ED is how impossible it is to explain your own behavior to the ones around you.
I was having a lovely lunch the other day with my mom and sisters. I had been fasting, so this was a ābingeā of sorts. At an Outback Steakhouse, lol. But damn that bloomin onion. We were talking about what appetizers we wanted and were deciding between a bloomin onion or cheese fries. Our waitress chimes in that we could get a sampler with a smaller amount of both. But immediately my brain went haywire because I knew it wouldnāt be a bloomin onion, it would be a pile of bloomin onion petals, which come already separated instead of attached to the onion. And why does my brain go nuts? Because itās cooked *slightly* different, so it wouldnāt be the same. When itās cooked in a bundle, the outer petals are crispy and nice, but the inner petals are less cooked and so the batter is way softer and almost ācakeyā if that makes sense????? Oh my god. My expression always gives away my feelings, so my sister immediately noticed and pointed it out.
āWhatās wrong??ā How the fuck do I explain this clusterfuck of thoughts that I had been having for 2 seconds without looking like a complete lunatic. I couldnāt do anything but stammer out some gibberish before I was interrupted. āItāll be exactly the same!ā No it wonāt. But how do I explain that I already know that?? Because Iām obsessed with food. I think about every detail of every one of my meals. And I hadnāt even had a meal in days. I canāt even defend myself.
It wasnāt the same, and it wasnāt worth the calories to see if I was wrong.
I want to eat an entire pizza right now.
[Other] So this new chinese pop girl group just released a song called "Calories" and it's just as triggering as you think. Lyrics inside.
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6.5" | 115ish | 18.3 | GW: 105 | F | LW: 109]
Created: Sat Jul 28 21:22:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92rwkv/so_this_new_chinese_pop_girl_group_just_released/
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Like, if this song would never fly in the U.S. This is insane. [Here's the mv if you're interested](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFvupppqZwg).
I translated the lyrics, but there were a few places I wasn't quite sure how to translate. If you have any suggestions, let me know in the comments! Regardless, I think the translation is good enough for y'all to understand for yourself just how insane this song is. I swear I've never seen a song ACTUALLY mention collarbones in it.
|ęÆå¤©čµ·åŗē¬¬äøå„ å
ē»čŖå·±ęäøŖę° ęÆꬔå¤åäøē²ē±³ é½č¦čƓ声åƹäøčµ· |My first words everyday Are to cheer myself in Every time I eat an extra grain of rice I have to say I'm sorry||
|:-|:-|:-|
|ééééēēę ęēééŖØåØåŖé ē¾äø½ ęč¦ē¾äø½ ęč¦åęäøäŗŗčæ· |Mirror Mirror on the wall Where are my collarbones? Beautiful, I want to be beautiful To become the fairest one of all|\*note, äøäŗŗčæ· translates more as just incredibly attractive, someone beloved by thousands upon thousands of people, someone people are crazy about. I used fairest one of all b/c it fit with the Mirror Mirror part|
|Pose pose ęč¦åęäøäŗŗčæ· Pose pose |Pose Pose I want to become beautiful Pose Pose||
|äøŗäŗåęå°č®č
° 天天ęēäøå£ę° äøŗäŗē©æäøęÆåŗå°¼ åčåęę²ęē²¾ 天ēäø½č“Øé¾čŖå¼ åÆęåå„é½äøč
» |To have a small waist I hold my breath every day So I can wear a bikini I eat grass and salads Natural beauty is hard to deny So sadly everything I eat is oil-free||
|åŖå ęč¦åŖå ęč¦åęäøäŗŗčæ· Wow å”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æé å”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æé å”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æé å”č·Æéå”č·Æå”č·Æéęē天ę ēē§ęēå”č·Æé |Work hard, I have to work hard I want to become beautiful Wow Calorie (x7) Calories are my enemy Burning my calories ||
|ęę ēēå ēē 儶č¶ę¹ä¾æé¢ ē«é
ē±³é„大ēéø” ęæčµ°ęæčµ°å«å®¢ę° ęę åå”å ęęåÆä¹ęę²¹č
» ę²åå¤åē©ęøøę å«åē¬å¤ä¼¤čŗ«ä½ |Bye bye donuts, milk tea, and ramen Hot pot, rice, chicken stew\* Take it away, don't be polite Bye bye caffeine Give up coke, give up oil \[Give up\] ordering takeout from the sofa, playing games Don't stay up all night, it's bad for your health |\* 大ēéø”, I translated as chicken stew, but it is a specific dish from Xinjiang, but definitely oily|
|ę„ę„ åč½¬ä½ é«ęø©ē伽仰å§čµ· åØęåč½¦ę®ęę äæęø©ęÆéę³”ęøę |Come on, come on Turn around \* Hot yoga, sit-ups Spinning, pilates Make a warm cup of Goji tea|\*åč½¬ä½, I'm having trouble translating. I don't know if it's literally turn your body around, or like, turn back the clock, or what...|
|ę„ę„ ę·±å¼åø ęØč·å¤č·ęøøå ē±³ å¹³ęæåéåč¹ęŗ äøč¾¾ē®ēäøę¾å¼ |Come on, come on Take a deep breath Dawn run, evening run, swim a few laps Planks, dumbbells, rowing machine If you haven't reached your goal, don't give up||
|äøŗäŗåęå°č®č
° 天天ęēäøå£ę° äøŗäŗē©æäøęÆåŗå°¼ åčåęę²ęē²¾ 天ēäø½č“Øé¾čŖå¼ åÆęåå„é½äøč
» |To have a small waist I hold my breath every day So I can wear a bikini I eat grass and salads Natural beauty is hard to deny So sadly everything I eat is oil-free||
|åŖå ęč¦åŖå ęč¦åęäøäŗŗčæ· Wow å”č·Æéå”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æéå”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æéå”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æéå”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æéęē天ę ēē§ęēå”č·Æé |Work hard, I have to work hard I want to become beautiful Wow Calories (x7) Calories are my enemy Burning my calories||
|ęę ēēå ēē 儶č¶ę¹ä¾æé¢ ē«é
ē±³é„大ēéø” ęæčµ°ęæčµ°å«å®¢ę° ęę åå”å ęęåÆä¹ęę²¹č
» ę²åå¤åē©ęøøę å«åē¬å¤ä¼¤čŗ«ä½ |Bye bye donuts, milk tea, and ramen Hot pot, rice, chicken stew\* Take it away, don't be polite Bye bye caffeine Give up coke, give up oil \[Give up\] ordering takeout from the sofa, playing games Don't stay up all night, it's bad for your health ||
|ę„ę„ åč½¬ä½ é«ęø©ē伽仰å§čµ· åØęåč½¦ę®ęę äæęø©ęÆéę³”ęøę |Come on, come on Turn around \* Hot yoga, sit-ups Spinning, pilates Make a warm cup of Goji tea||
|ę„ę„ ę·±å¼åø ęØč·å¤č·ęøøå ē±³ å¹³ęæåéåč¹ęŗ äøč¾¾ē®ēäøę¾å¼ |Come on, come on Take a deep breath Dawn run, evening run, swim a few laps Planks, dumbbells, rowing machine If you haven't reached your goal, don't give up||
|äøŗäŗåęå°č®č
° 天天ęēäøå£ę° äøŗäŗē©æäøęÆåŗå°¼ åčåęę²ęē²¾ 天ēäø½č“Øé¾čŖå¼ åÆęåå„é½äøč
» |To have a small waist I hold my breath every day So I can wear a bikini I eat grass and salads Natural beauty is hard to deny So sadly everything I eat is oil-free||
|åŖå ęč¦åŖå ęč¦åęäøäŗŗčæ· Wow å”č·Æéå”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æéå”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æéå”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æéå”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æéęē天ę ēē§ęēå”č·Æé |Work hard, I have to work hard I want to become beautiful Wow Calories (x7) Calories are my enemy Burning my calories||
|ęę ēēå ēē 儶č¶ę¹ä¾æé¢ ē«é
ē±³é„大ēéø” ęæčµ°ęæčµ°å«å®¢ę° ęę åå”å ęęåÆä¹ęę²¹č
» ę²åå¤åē©ęøøę å«åē¬å¤ä¼¤čŗ«ä½ |Bye bye donuts, milk tea, and ramen Hot pot, rice, chicken stew\* Take it away, don't be polite Bye bye caffeine Give up coke, give up oil \[Give up\] ordering takeout from the sofa, playing games Don't stay up all night, it's bad for your health ||
|ę„ę„ åč½¬ä½ é«ęø©ē伽仰å§čµ· åØęåč½¦ę®ęę äæęø©ęÆéę³”ęøę |Come on, come on Turn around \* Hot yoga, sit-ups Spinning, pilates Make a warm cup of Goji tea|\*åč½¬ä½ means like do a 360 turn|
|ę„ę„ ę·±å¼åø ęØč·å¤č·ęøøå ē±³ å¹³ęæåéåč¹ęŗ äøč¾¾ē®ēäøę¾å¼ |Come on, come on Take a deep breath Dawn run, evening run, swim a few laps Planks, dumbbells, rowing machine If you haven't reached your goal, don't give up||
|å„äŗęŖäŗ å°ēę¶åęęęÆ å¦å¦čÆ“ åå
ēäøé¤ē²ē² ēč¾č¦ |It was weird When I was young, it was clear Mom said to clear my plate To eat every last morsel That we worked so hard to put there||
|ē“å°ęē±ēč£åēę£åé½ē³»äøäøäŗ åę„åå¾ę ē©äøę ę“č¾č¦ åøę ä½é ē§¤ęÆåē åø
å„ ē±å代ē |I ate until I couldn't button up my favorite skirt I used to eat everything I can't get rid of it\* I hope my scale is broken Handsome guys love those of the Tang Dynasty\*\*|\*ē©äøęļ¼ having trouble translating it, but I think this phrase is referencing being unable to get rid of the gained weight \*\*Reference to the stereotypical beautiful woman of the Tang Dynasty become larger |
|äøå¦č·ēčå„ę²”åØęē åŖåŖå å«č®©å”č·Æééå”č·Æé å”ä½ä½ äøč¾¾ē®ēäøę¾å¼ ēē§ęēå”č·Æé|It would be best to follow the rhythm, there's nothing to be afraid of\* Work hard Don't let the calories stick to you If you haven't reached your goal, don't give up Burning my calories|\* I don't understand what this first sentence is trying to say here |
|(then the song repeats the whole 'bye bye donuts...' all the way to 'if you haven't reached you goal, don't give up' and adds some extra lines just saying don't give up, burn calories, I want to be beautiful)|||
I don't know what I look like anymore -> ED changes in mindset happening quickly.
/u/CeladonDust [5'0 | CW: 54.0kg | GW1: 50kg | 23.2 | -12.4kg | 23F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 21:20:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92rw7o/i_dont_know_what_i_look_like_anymore_ed_changes/
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I feel like I suddenly don't know what I look like anymore. I see pictures of myself and I think I look so fat and disgusting. Sometimes in the mirror I think I look ok. Sometimes I think I'm horrendously ugly. Sometimes I genuinely just cannot understand my face.
It's like 'Is this what human faces even look like? Do I even look like a person?' I honestly can't tell.
I hate my body too. I've asked a couple people to take pictures of me full body, as I don't have any. I say for Tinder which is partially true. Then when I see the pictures I HATE them. I feel so embarrassed at asking for them, like they are so obviously bad that the people who took them of me must be secretly laughing at me wanting them taken because I look so bad.
And more in general the typical 'ED' mindset changes seems to be happening to me really fast.
Like I didn't have 'safe foods' or anything. I didn't really understand them. But today when I went to the shops and bought veg and low cal, high protein foods I felt so comfy and soft and SAFE. And suddenly it was like, fuck I get it now.
My restricting has gone to utter shite. But all these typical 'ED' mindset things (sorry to stereotype, I know not everyone gets these and I does not effect your ED's validity and all that. You know what I mean) seem to be taking root in my head so quickly all of a sudden.
Is this what happens?
What are your healthy safe foods?
/u/maerynbird
Created: Sat Jul 28 21:11:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ruac/what_are_your_healthy_safe_foods/
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I know for some of us we have weird safe foods like cereal or chocolate. I wanna know some of the healthy ones too! I put my safe foods together to make a safe meal rather than eating them mono-style. Also what are your fave things to spice up your food? I always use lots of spices to make the calories worth it in flavor.
Mine are:
Broccoli
Tomatoes
Green bell peppers
Potatoes
White rice (brown is too hard on my stomach!)
Spinach
Tofu
Cauliflower
Mixed veg bag
Pinto beans
Chickpeas
Mushrooms
Red split lentils
Pasta (meticulously measured/portioned out)
Vegan white cheddar rice cakes
Follow your heart cheese shreds
Cucumber
Hummus cups
Half an avocado
Mustard
Sriracha
Hot & Diablo Taco Bell hot sauce
Nutritional yeast
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Red chilli flakes
Curry powder
Red chilli powder
Garam masala
Turmeric
Paprika
Comment your own!!
[Rant/Rave] Annnnd Iām crying over coffee.
/u/fuckingusernamee [4'11| 105| 21.2 | 30 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 20:29:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92rlkz/annnnd_im_crying_over_coffee/
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I feel so stupid and ungrateful. My boyfriend (who doesnāt really know about my ED, although it is obvious) asked me if I wanted anything from McDonaldās. I told him I just wanted a nonfat iced Carmel Macchiato (200). He ordered on the app and we went to pick it up. I got a non-iced normal Carmel Macchiato (260) and cried the entire way home. I told him before we left that it was wrong and he told me to just put it on ice when I got home and that it couldnāt be much different. I usually donāt even allow myself any liquid calories unless it is my before work coffee which is always the same 25 calories at home or 200 calories when I want to treat myself, and I am also fasting today so I felt guilty for treating myself already. I know he thinks I am ridiculous but it was a huge deal to me and I canāt explain that to him without seeming like an ungrateful brat. It changed my entire mood and as badly as I want to snap out of it I canāt.
[Discussion] How accurate are Fitbit calorie counts and do you trust them cuz I donāt
/u/LemonsnRoses
Created: Sat Jul 28 20:27:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92rl47/how_accurate_are_fitbit_calorie_counts_and_do_you/
---
Iāve had a Fitbit forever, but I just donāt trust the calorie counts. I can work out all day and burn only 2400, but hang out with friends all day at home (if laughing burns that many calories then I seriously need to go to a comedy club) and burn 3000+. Itās just not realistic. On the other hand, if I lay around all day and donāt get out of bed I burn 1300-1400ish (which is at/below my BMR) so that makes sense kinda. On the other OTHER hand, when you restrict your metabolism slows, so how am I consistently getting 2000 or 1900 without exercise? Is getting 1900 just going about my day THE metabolism slow instead of 2000? Youāre supposed to only burn 100 per mile or whatever, but I can burn 150+. Itās just...the math donāt add up. And not to mention that if my Fitbit calorie counts were accurate, I would be loosing a lot quicker given my deficit.
So basically, does anybody know how accurate they are? I saw a vid where a guy used an energy machine to calculate his burn from biking and the Fitbit was below, but other times it was over. Idk seems a lil faulty... oh the anxiety. Do you all mistrust it like I do? Also, hereās a little confession: I never get my steps in and Iām a lazy bitch so idk how I would be āburningā a normal amount.
Okay, this new C-pop (Chinese pop) song is called Calories and the lyrics are uh...well, just read them.
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6.5" | 115ish | 18.3 | GW: 105 | F | LW: 109]
Created: Sat Jul 28 20:27:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92rl43/okay_this_new_cpop_chinese_pop_song_is_called/
---
A new girl group called Rocket Girls released a new song (one of their first official releases I think, if not the first), and it's called "Calories." It's from the OST for a new movie coming out, but I don't understand WHY. These lyrics are legit pretty triggering, and would be blasted if it came out in the US.
Here are the Chinese lyrics if you want them:
|ęÆå¤©čµ·åŗē¬¬äøå„ å
ē»čŖå·±ęäøŖę° ęÆꬔå¤åäøē²ē±³ é½č¦čƓ声åƹäøčµ· ééééēēę ęēééŖØåØåŖé ē¾äø½ ęč¦ē¾äø½ ęč¦åęäøäŗŗčæ· Pose pose ęč¦åęäøäŗŗčæ· Pose pose äøŗäŗåęå°č®č
° 天天ęēäøå£ę° äøŗäŗē©æäøęÆåŗå°¼ åčåęę²ęē²¾ 天ēäø½č“Øé¾čŖå¼ åÆęåå„é½äøč
» åŖå ęč¦åŖå ęč¦åęäøäŗŗčæ· Wow å”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æé å”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æé å”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æé å”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æéęē天ę ēē§ęēå”č·Æé ęę ēēå ēē 儶č¶ę¹ä¾æé¢ ē«é
ē±³é„大ēéø” ęæčµ°ęæčµ°å«å®¢ę° ęę åå”å ęęåÆä¹ęę²¹č
» ę²åå¤åē©ęøøę å«åē¬å¤ä¼¤čŗ«ä½ ę„ę„ åč½¬ä½ é«ęø©ē伽仰å§čµ· åØęåč½¦ę®ęę äæęø©ęÆéę³”ęøę ę„ę„ ę·±å¼åø ęØč·å¤č·ęøøå ē±³ å¹³ęæåéåč¹ęŗ äøč¾¾ē®ēäøę¾å¼ äøŗäŗåęå°č®č
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» åŖå ęč¦åŖå ęč¦åęäøäŗŗčæ· Wow å”č·Æéå”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æéå”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æéå”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æéå”č·Æéå”č·Æ å”č·Æéęē天ę ēē§ęēå”č·Æé ęę ēēå ēē 儶č¶ę¹ä¾æé¢ ē«é
ē±³é„大ēéø” ęæčµ°ęæčµ°å«å®¢ę° ęę åå”å ęęåÆä¹ęę²¹č
» ę²åå¤åē©ęøøę å«åē¬å¤ä¼¤čŗ«ä½ ę„ę„ åč½¬ä½ é«ęø©ē伽仰å§čµ· åØęåč½¦ę®ęę äæęø©ęÆéę³”ęøę ę„ę„ ę·±å¼åø ęØč·å¤č·ęøøå ē±³ å¹³ęæåéåč¹ęŗ äøč¾¾ē®ēäøę¾å¼ å„äŗęŖäŗ å°ēę¶åęęęÆ å¦å¦čÆ“ åå
ēäøé¤ē²ē² ēč¾č¦ ē“å°ęē±ēč£åēę£åé½ē³»äøäøäŗ åę„åå¾ę ē©äøę ę“č¾č¦ åøę ä½é ē§¤ęÆåē åø
å„ ē±å代ē äøå¦č·ēčå„ę²”åØęē åŖåŖå å«č®©å”č·Æééå”č·Æé å”ä½ä½ äøč¾¾ē®ēäøę¾å¼ ēē§ęēå”č·Æé ęę ēēå ēē 儶č¶ę¹ä¾æé¢ ē«é
ē±³é„大ēéø” ęæčµ°ęæčµ°å«å®¢ę° ęę åå”å ęęåÆä¹ęę²¹č
» ę²åå¤åē©ęøøę å«åē¬å¤ä¼¤čŗ«ä½ ę„ę„ åč½¬ä½ é«ęø©ē伽仰å§čµ· åØęåč½¦ę®ęę äæęø©ęÆéę³”ęøę ę„ę„ ę·±å¼åø ęØč·å¤č·ęøøå ē±³ å¹³ęæåéåč¹ęŗ äøč¾¾ē®ēäøę¾å¼ äøę¾å¼ ēē§ęēå”č·Æé äøę¾å¼ ēē§ęēå”č·Æé ęč¦åęäøäŗŗčæ·|c||
|:-|:-|:-|
||||
Is there a fasting app where you can back-date the start of your fast?
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 78.1kg | 28.7 | F | bulimic]
Created: Sat Jul 28 20:22:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92rk4t/is_there_a_fasting_app_where_you_can_backdate_the/
---
My memory is too poor to use Zero, lol. Today I'm like 'ok gonna start fasting, oh wait, it's been like eight hours already.' Is there an app where you can tell it that you started fasting, like, yesterday?
[Rant/Rave] back on my bullshit
/u/angelic-rose [š¹ 5ā6 | 130 | 21.59 | 19F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 20:22:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92rk1z/back_on_my_bullshit/
---
i told myself i was going to eat maintenance a couple days ago because my binges were out of control and i canāt really purge. well long story short iāve been binging constantly since then! yay! š
tonight i ate a shit load of chips, chocolate, and pizza and iām in a lot of pain rn. tried purging /again/ because [TMI] i had already eaten so much that some bile was coming up but thankfully i didnāt succeed. on the bright side i found out i have a pretty impressive gag reflex so thereās that.
since iām so full that i canāt even think about eating again i think iām going to give fasting another try, except this time it wonāt be a water/black coffee/plain tea fast. iām going to help myself to some of the bouillon cubes in the cupboard and buy sweet drops or something to put in my tea. maybe use some almond milk too. i figured iād rather not eat at all than low restrict and i canāt bring myself to not compensate for these past days. i feel like a failure.
so yeah..for now iām gonna take a cold shower because the ac still isnāt working and i feel like a massive hot blob, then iāll prob do some stretching and try to sleep.
tomorrowās a new day. thanks for listening.
What are some things that are objectively nonsense BS that your ED makes you believe anyway?
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8" | CW: 132.2 & BMI: 20.1 | GW:115 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 20:09:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92rhfh/what_are_some_things_that_are_objectively/
---
I'll start:
* chugging 32 oz of green tea and 8 oz of detox tea before bed will cancel out excess calorie intake and/or a binge :)
* 1 tsp of peanut butter before bed when heavily restricting ( and this the only situation where it'll work) will literally burn belly fat while you are sleeping
* the scale goes up .3 over the course of a day? Me @ me: "You fat whore :) You are on the path to obesity"
What anime character do you relate to? (nonED q but LOL come on we need a distraction)
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 26F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 20:08:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92rh4o/what_anime_character_do_you_relate_to_noned_q_but/
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Mine is Mamimi Samejiwa from FLCL. She is immature, self destructive, childish, holds onto nostalgia painfully and never feels like she's found a home. She also attaches to things/people/obsession fairly quick in that manner.
She also mattered alot and I related to her so much when I struggled.
[Help] I. WILL. BE. SKINNY.
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Sat Jul 28 19:36:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ra8m/i_will_be_skinny/
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I had my goal weight robbed from me. I am determined to lose these last 5 pounds and then more. Iām tired of my body being like this. I will be skinny. I will loose this weight. I hate my body like this and Iāll get out of it. Iām 65ā and about 115 lbs. my goal weight is 110 and my ugw is 105. I will reach them. I donāt fucking care what anyone thinks and they wonāt get in my way. I look forward to being a nice 105. Pretty and thin.
[Rant/Rave] TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Sat Jul 28 19:18:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92r643/tomorrow_is_a_new_day/
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After a weekend filled with all day binges (something that I had planned), I feel disgusting and gross but understand that my body was screaming for calories. Iāve been eating everything that Iāve wanted this weekend, and yes hate how gross I feel. But Iām excited for tomorrow to be a new day of clean eating. Whoās with me?
What do you do to stop yourself from purging?
/u/LumosMegan
Created: Sat Jul 28 19:08:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92r43r/what_do_you_do_to_stop_yourself_from_purging/
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I ate two and a half slices of pizza, then a handful of pretzels with chocolate frosting. Naturally, I desperately want to purge and as the clock ticks my anxiety over absorbing the calories skyrockets. What do you do to force yourself not to purge??
Caught bingeing naked. Actual nightmare.
/u/ramargo [5'8" | huge | gelatinous brickhouse | F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 19:04:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92r35b/caught_bingeing_naked_actual_nightmare/
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Iām shaking and so mortified. Sort of hilarious but also just awful omg. Telling you guys because I donāt know who else would get it. Oh my god. I live in a basement apartment and rent from the family who lives upstairs. Itās cheap, clean, and in a safe neighborhood.
I had an epic binge and purge session tonight. I was basically just going between stuffing my face with junk, purging, and weighing myself. I live alone, so I was naked, which sounds so weird, but it was because after I weighed myself the first couple times (taking everything off to get lowest#) I was so deep in B/P trance that I didnāt put them back on. Just didnāt give a shit.
I was huddled over my microwave like a rat, eating/making quesadillas, NAKED, when I heard the door that goes up to the main house CREAK. Then footsteps. I stop wolfing down melted cheese and bolt into the closest room, the kitchen/laundry room. Slam the door behind me.More footsteps. Coming closer. Coming TOWARDS THE FUCKING KITCHEN.
There is a KNOCK on the door and MY LANDLORDās 16 YEAR OLD SON says āhello? Just coming to get my sleeping bag in the kitchen closetā. I FUCKING PANIC and tell him to wait one second. I AM NAKED. There was ONE item of clothing hanging on the drying rack and I thank my lucky stars with that... but it was a cat jumper (https://di2ponv0v5otw.cloudfront.net/posts/2018/04/08/5acaf8f1a825a6dad7f9cb77/m_5acaf8faa44dbedd4aa9d1f3.jpg). There was no shirt to wear under it, so I would be giving FULL ON SIDE TIT and barely front tit coverage. So I throw it on, say hello and run the fuck to my room.
BUT MY DOOR TO MY ROOM WAS OPEN. HE MUGHT HAVE SEEN EVERYTHING. A mess of wrappers, binge food, diet soda. AND MY BATHROOM DOOR WAS OPEN WITH A TOILET FULL OF PUKE.
I am mortified you guys. At least it stopped the binge. But oh my god. This is absolutely wild. Iāll probably laugh about this someday but right now I want to crawl in a hole FOREVER.
What's your safe food, and what does 'safe' mean to you?
/u/DenverTheLastDinosau
Created: Sat Jul 28 18:44:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92qyn8/whats_your_safe_food_and_what_does_safe_mean_to/
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I have foods that I can consider safe in different scenarios, but I don't really have any safe foods in particular. I was just wondering what a safe food means to you, and if you feel like sharing yours and why it's your safe food, please go ahead and share! I'm really curious. I have BED, so my main issue is that food needs to be safe from me.
I just want a salad dressing with no calories
/u/kcvis [5'4"|CW 123|GW 110|BMI 21.2|M]
Created: Sat Jul 28 18:13:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92qr7k/i_just_want_a_salad_dressing_with_no_calories/
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Why is life so difficult
[Help] Think you look fat or unfeminine? Here's some posing tips that could help you!
/u/Bandit_Queen
Created: Sat Jul 28 18:09:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92qq89/think_you_look_fat_or_unfeminine_heres_some/
---
I'd like to preface this by saying that I don't have an eating disorder and I'm a healthy weight. However, I think I may have mild body dysmorphia. At times I look in the mirror and think I look like Mr. Potato. But then I look at my reflection a little while later, and think I look almost like a model. I like to think that I have a realistic view of myself most of the time, but this can be confuse me sometimes.
So when I do think I look very out of shape and androgynous while I'm looking in the mirror or taking selfies, I force myself to look better through posing. I've posted these posing tips years ago on a fat-related subreddit, and thought they could help some of you guys with your body image and perhaps lessen your ED. NB: Some of these links can be broken!
Original comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/42x0s8/i_helped_someone_catfish_sorry/czedl6c/?context=3
> - Instead of putting your hands on the sides of your waist, place them towards the front and curl your fingers to make your waist look cinched, [like so](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/7e/fe/ef/7efeefdbf4a27f16fb6cd517fb551cc7.jpg).
> - If you have a double chin, press your tongue against the roof of your mouth to level it.
> - Push your shoulders forward to bring out your collarbone.
> - Hunch your back to make your boobs look smaller. This works best wearing loose clothes. Don't slouch if you're wearing tight/minimal clothes or your belly will stick out and your torso will look shorter and frumpy ([nsfw](http://imgur.com/a/8H2eb)).
> - Turn around and [look over your shoulder](http://www.allure.com/images/magazine/2010/06/masl09_megan_fox_over_shoulder.jpg) to make your arms look slimmer.
> - [Twist your body 45 degrees](http://tammystrome.com/wp-content/gallery/photos/3.jpg) to make your midsection look narrow. Try not twist and bend your body too much to avoid creating rolls and folds.
> - If you're taking a 90 degrees side profile picture and [you have a pooch](https://thebellyproject.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/nj-belly-side.jpg), turn ever-so slightly away from the camera to hide it. This can work for upper arms too.
> - If you want to fake a thigh gap, bend over slightly forward for a triangular crotch space, or stand with your legs no more than hips-width apart and crop the shot from the knee downwards.
> - [Tilt your head back a bit with your nose up](http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.102934!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/gallery_1200/gal-pose-megan-fox-jpg.jpg) (opposite of MySpace angle) for a more defined jawline. *[The MySpace can make the lower face look smaller]*
> - [Holding your hands/arms behind you](https://usatmmajunkie.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/ronda-rousey-ufc-190.jpg) can also make you look more slender and make your sternum more prominent.
> - For pool-side sausage leg selfies, make sure you're not resting your legs on anything that would push your fat and muscle upwards and outwards.
> - For a thinspo shot, you can do all of the above plus a stomach vacuum to protrude the ribcage and hipbone. Some people can bring out their spine and back ribcage by slouching too.
> - To make yourself look curvy, pull your shoulders back and push your chest out to make your boobs look bigger, curve your body to the side while facing forward to create a semi-hourglass illusion, and stand/sit as if your have an ATP or lordosis to make your bum look bigger. Most women get a "thigh brow" by simply sitting down straight and/or kneeling.
>
> ---
>
> - ...makeup and clothes can also make vast improvements to your appearance. A proper-fitting bra can can not only make your boobs look lifted, but make them look bigger or smaller (busty women should avoid bras that push the boobs outwards in arms way - not a good look). Wear a padded pushup bra to show more ribs/underbust and to make your boobs look bigger (stuffing, double-bra and cleavage contouring helps as well). You can contour your collarbone and your abs too. Wear teeny tiny low-rise panties to accentuate your bum and show more of your hipbones and midriff. Oversize glasses can hide a moon-face. If you want to wear sleeveless clothes but you have armpit fat/creases, then choose one where the strap/cut are close to the arms to cover it. If you have a large bust and broad shoulders like I do, avoid clothes that are too wide and loose at the front (such as boxy shift dresses), otherwise it will look like your wearing a maternity muumuu. Volumised hair can balance out a fat face and keeping your hair down can create contour-like shadows on your face. And of course, corsets/shapewear helps to smooth out the bumps and so does choosing flattering styles/colours, e.g. skater skirts can hide a belly.
> - Not to mention cropping, distance particularly close-up shots, [lighting](http://i.imgur.com/2einxVi.jpg), standing next to someone/thing bigger, [focal length](http://micajahteach.com/210/wp-content/uploads/sites/7/2014/01/Portrait-Focal-Length-II.jpg), angles and photoshopping can all alter reality too.
>
> ---
>
> - Bonus! How to spot a sucked-in belly: If their ribs stick out further than their stomach, if their chest and shoulders are raised, and if their neck tendons are tensed, they're probably sucking it in. Lying down on your back can also make your belly look flat.
> - Extra bonus! [There are tricks to make your boobs look more lifted in nudies](https://archive.is/OBDg1). Also, for facedownassup shots, [don't do the fat girl pose](http://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/ao0e6Qn_700b.jpg). ...You're now minted with tips and tricks!
> - Additional information: [Peter Hurley's Hold Your Sub](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXbOx36YXrU), [Ruston's Guide to Prevent Fatfishing](https://www.reddit.com/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/42fbar/catfishing_is_real_and_it_can_be_hurtful/czand3m), [Furious Pete's 5 hour Before & After Transformation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M957dACQyfU).
For larger women: [Video mentioned in OC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCF4TjmOKSA), [Better, more recent video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7ENj3R4Z5Q). I'm sure there are more videos out there, but these are the ones I've seen so far.
*[Update]:*
- Lying down with a curve back can make your ribcage and hipbones stick out (put a pillow under your back for support).
- Lie down on your side and raise both knees or the uppermost knee to make your body look S shaped.
- Tense , roll back and raise just your shoulders to make your shoulders look capped (like fitspo models) and thus making your torso look narrower.
- Work on your posture, especially if you have rounded shoulders and posterior tilt!
Hope this is helpful to some of you. Let me know if you know any other poses that could help me.
is my husband intentionally triggering me or nah?
/u/fatal11fem [5'2 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 16:13:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92pxp0/is_my_husband_intentionally_triggering_me_or_nah/
---
I'm at a weird place right now, this conversation happened early this morning and I've been trying to rationalize if I'm being sensitive because of my ed or if he is being an ass.
Short background for clarity sake: he knows about my ED but it never comes up in conversation. Also, not sure if relevant but I am not close with my mom, and they have only met a handful of times in the last several years. And lastly this is something he says EVERY šFUCKING šTIMEš we talk about my fucking mom.
So this is how our conversation went down:
We were looking at photos of celebrities from the 50's and I picked a photo of a woman that we both know and said
"She looks so short right! "
Bf- "Wow she's so small!!!!!"
I google it- "omg she's 5'4, she's like my moms height! "
Bf- "Wow that crazy, your mom is tiny, she's smaller than you! "
Me-"Well, my moms 2 inches taller than me. So..........".*shrinks inside*
Bf- "Noooooo I've seen her and she's sooo tiny fatal11fem!!! Just wow, so small (he goes on like this for a minute..)"
Me- ......*awkward 2 minute radio silence/practicing my breathing so not have a panic attack*
Bf- "just let me have this okay, she's smaller than you" (smiling like he's joking but tone of voice says he is serious...)
Me- *not hiding my irritation anymore* "fine, have it since it means that much to you."
Then I made some tea and went to meditate aka avoid him with an excuse while he got ready for work.
Before he left for work he was SHOWERING me in compliments and acted like everything was A-OK, we said bye and he left.
-
Now hours later I'm stuck thinking to myself that he's not the type to purposely make me feel like shit but the tone in his voice and how he pushed the comments makes me think he feels some type of way and doesn't REALLY want to say it?
But truthfully this could just be me being over dramatic and if so I need to work that shit out.. do you think I'm being over dramatic or what?
When I take mesuments I use existing scars to mark where I take them so I make sure I am always doing them in the same spot.
/u/ButterflyThin [66" | 178 | 28.85 | -72 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 16:06:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92pw14/when_i_take_mesuments_i_use_existing_scars_to/
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Hooray for my self harm and eating disorder working together. >_<
[Other] ED cookbook
/u/askthedustinstead
Created: Sat Jul 28 16:04:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92pvau/ed_cookbook/
---
Crazy idea.
If we would make a cookbook with safe recipes.
What would be your contribution? A recipe you're proud of cause it has -obviously- low cals but has actually nice flvours and/or texture?
Shoot!
I would at curry cauliflower. Cal 40
And mushroom/bellpepper/hoisin. Cal 100
[Other] Kind of want to die
/u/sorryqueen [5'3" | 111 | 20.21 | 24 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 16:00:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92pubv/kind_of_want_to_die/
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So I have a crush on a boy, who has a girlfriend, and I have a boyfriend. And the boy I have a crush on I told that I have a "complicated" relationship with food (to put it simply) and he didn't run and hide. And I think we keep flirting on accident and I just cannot have a normal, non-complicated life no matter what I do. And that's the small life crisis of a 22-year-old L O L
I messed up.
/u/FinickyFireflies [5'5 | Cw: 142lbs |BMI: 23.6 |LW: 140 |GW: 110 | Non-Binary]
Created: Sat Jul 28 15:55:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92pt4d/i_messed_up/
---
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUCK
I messed up really bad. My dumb ass had decided "You know whats healthy? Recovery!" So I have some of this really cheesy zucchini lasagna my mom made that I estimated to be about 500 cal. I am at 1,043 calories and legitimately considering fucking up my legs really bad. I tried cutting up my hips but it isn't the same and right now I really cant give a flying fuck about my parents being disappointed in me when they find the cuts I just need this to stop. I need the overwhelming self hatred and discomfort to stop right fucking now. I just now realized how stupid my problem is. How little it matters compared to everything else on here. I am whining over such a stupid problem, but it is freaking the shit out of me. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to cope with this. I don't want to purge again. I already did that with some STUPID FUCKING sushi my mom brought home. Why does my dumb ass keep thinking I can recover?! I'm probably going to wind up cutting and bruising my legs really fucking bad and fasting for 4 days. I don't want to be awake.
Is starvation mode even a thing? What is wrong with me?!
/u/IttyBittySlothyCommy
Created: Sat Jul 28 15:25:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92pld2/is_starvation_mode_even_a_thing_what_is_wrong/
---
Hey there. Over the last year I have gained a bunch of weight, a combo of drinking beer way too much, falling into the pattern of getting a lift to/from work rather than walking, and careless snacking.
Like a lot of you, I used to be strict with eating, OMAD that had to be under 1000 cals and if I didn't do 1200 steps a day you best believe I would go for an aimless walk, so I thought it was healthy that I was able to just eat what I want.
All of a sudden it has hit me like a ton of FAT that I am FAT. Like not like before, when I would have a healthy BMI but my dysmorphia would make me feel big, I am actually now fat.
So over a month ago I cut out all snacks (no binges too! Twice I have been craving chips and I had one small bag and made sure to restrict so I was still under my cals!) kept to roughly under 1000 (at most 1500), I have had two cheat days where food wise I have been fine but alcohol took me over 2000 (as I am so fat that is still under maintenance so although I felt bad about it really It should have been ok!).
I have been able to fast for a few days, and for about 5 random days have eaten so little and exercised so much my total for the day was 0. And after all this I have lost a grand total of 5lbs.
Seriously, what the fuck?????? I am so overweight and have tracked everything I have eaten and drunk and have been doing so well, how has this happened?
I have been looking into more than cals too, I have been a loose vegan (veggie at worse if I have an egg for protein, but never any butter or meat!) eating a lot of salad and veggies, cooking with water rather than oil, and if it needs oil the smallest squirt of 1cal spray. Alcohol is my only naughty treat, but I keep it under my cals and log every sip so I thought it would be OK. No full fat drinks, no hidden sugars, no little treats that I don't log. On paper I should have lost a stone!
My weight keeps batting around the 5lbs too, it's not like I am constantly 5lbs down.
I ate a lot yesterday (a planned binge, again still under maintenance but it was a party so I predicted more) so was hoping for a woosh today but all that has happened was I gained 2lbs waste weight.
This just doesn't seem scientifically possible?! When I was eating whatever all day every day, past the original gain I barely gained at all, but now I'm starving constantly and the scales still won't budge??? In the past I would eat 1000 cal a day and the weight would melt off, but now it is so slow! Is starvation mode a real thing???? Should I go under 500 cal a day? Should I do a long fast, and if so how do I stop myself getting light headed? HELP ME!
[Goal] I need to lose weight
/u/comrade_toastboy
Created: Sat Jul 28 15:21:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92pkdn/i_need_to_lose_weight/
---
This week, itās time. Iāll be home alone most of this day so no one can see me not eating and hopefully by this time next week I can get to 112 and hopefully wonāt faint too much over vacation. Iām sick of this 115lb body I wanna get back to my wonderful 110 or maybe lower. I know Iāll get there itās just so frustrating being so fat.
[Rant/Rave] Triggered by my skinny fitness instructor
/u/misssarajones
Created: Sat Jul 28 15:03:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92pfng/triggered_by_my_skinny_fitness_instructor/
---
I've been trying to lose weight by fasting and eating under 500 calories a day. I'm 5'2 in height, and 150 pounds. I have BED that I finally came to terms with - and my ADHD causes me to hyper obsess on my body image CONSTANTLY.
I want to be 110 pounds. I was 175 pounds during the beginning of June, so I think I'm doing well and my obsession over how fat my body looks is going away.
But we had a substitute instructor today and she was my height and her body was the ideal size I wanted to be at. She was SKINNY. Her legs were so tiny, and her body was so slim. Her boobs were so small and perky.
I turn to look at myself standing next to her, I'm a fucking landwhale. I have fat ugly titties (DDD/E) and I can see my stomach poking out my shirt, and my hips are so damn wide. I felt so depressed while exercising/dancing, I wanted to quit - but my obsession with burning calories made me stay. I WAS MOVING SO SLOW.
I couldn't believe it, I wanted to cry. She doesn't fucking jiggle like me when I dance. I felt so hideous. Afterwards, I went to jog on the treadmill to burn another 500 calories so I can burn 1000 calories in total.
I'm sorry, I just wanted to vent. I just wish I was skinny. I've never been thin really besides when I was dancing 3 hours a day, and even THEN, I STILL HAD A DISGUSTING STOMACH AND BREASTS.
I know it's my fault, I shouldn't have went out. I just wanted to get out and have fun because I miss dancing and it turns to total shit.
[Rant/Rave] was wrong about my estimations but in a good way!!
/u/summerservice [5'2 | 185 | -15 | 19F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 15:02:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92pfcr/was_wrong_about_my_estimations_but_in_a_good_way/
---
Iām ridiculously excited haha. I planned out last night what Iād eat today, logging guessed weights and planning to just correct it today when I weighed the foods before eating. I overestimated by about 400 calories!!! Iām so happy š
also just realized my food scale has an option of showing grams rather than ounces so I donāt have to do the conversions myself anymore. what a good day haha
[Discussion] Anybody have late-onset EDāS, so late 20ās and up? Which ones and any idea what started it?
/u/JadeChaosTheory
Created: Sat Jul 28 14:57:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92pdw5/anybody_have_lateonset_eds_so_late_20s_and_up/
---
Iām 32 and my behaviors kind of cropped up when I was 29.
For me it started with getting laid off when I was 29 when I started binging. It didnāt help that my intermediate job was as a barista. All the free junk food (at $9 an hour I took whatever free food I could get).
I started my current job (retail) about 9 months after I got laid off. It was stressful work dealing with customers all day for 8 hours a day so my binging behavior continued. I went from 170 to 215 pounds over the course of 2 years.
Lately itās been the opposite, and Iāve been restricting. Iām 5ā9, moderately active (my store has multiple floors, Iām pretty much always on my feet and moving around). Iāve been going as low as 900 a day sometimes, which for my height and activity is probably dangerous. I donāt let myself go above 1200.
I think what triggered it was just being an old fatass at a retail store full of willowy, beautiful young people. Iām constantly excluded from the stupid playful flirting, and I had the cursing experience of a person Iām super attractive to tell me how much he lusts after all the said willowy beautiful girls.
My restrictions started around that time.
Iāve been obsessed with the attention and compliments Iāve gotten since Iāve lost about 20 pounds in 3 months, which is too slow for my liking but itās working. I hate that itās so superficial but thatās whatās up.
You all?
finally got my thigh gap back and used it as an excuse for a 1500 calorie binge yeet
/u/justprettyconfused [5'4 | CW: 115 | GW: 100?? | 19F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 14:45:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92park/finally_got_my_thigh_gap_back_and_used_it_as_an/
---
why am i like this :))))
[Discussion] Want to EC stack but afraid of long term effects
/u/katieburrito
Created: Sat Jul 28 14:44:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92palz/want_to_ec_stack_but_afraid_of_long_term_effects/
---
Iām a health science major so Iām very aware of the long term effects of ephedrine. Has anyone had any luck with just using caffeine pills or a substitute for the appetite suppressant part?
[Rant/Rave] It's like I'm a skeleton inhabiting this weird skin, but I wish that I wanted to be the skin.
/u/fastingfrycook
Created: Sat Jul 28 14:22:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92p4va/its_like_im_a_skeleton_inhabiting_this_weird_skin/
---
Sometimes the part of me that wants to recover is scared at how hard eating is emotionally, because even if I binge sometimes I'm starting to think maybe it actually isn't enough to balance out my restriction because little by little I see myself getting smaller. It's so slow. It's not gonna be obvious for a while. But I'm so tired all the time now and I'm sore and I feel like I'm crumbling into myself, but no one can see it yet, so maybe it's my imagination and this isn't a problem.
[Help] HOW TO STOP CRAVINGS?
/u/xxmishxx
Created: Sat Jul 28 14:19:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92p3yq/how_to_stop_cravings/
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I am 18 hours into a fast. I want to go 72. Terrible binge last night.
How do you stop the intense cravings?
[Rant/Rave] I'm typing this from my bathroom floor, because I can't move
/u/InactiveDegenerate
Created: Sat Jul 28 13:38:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ot59/im_typing_this_from_my_bathroom_floor_because_i/
---
Sorry for any spelling mistakes, my hands are shaking and my keyboard sucks.
I go through cycles. If anyone watched UK Being Human, season 5, you might remember the vampire character: Hal. When it first came out I just had a crush on him, but rewatching the show his arc of fighting with cycles of 'good' and 'bad' was a lot more relatable to me, than it was when I was 15.
Myself, I have about a month of relatively sane eating habits, maybe a little restrictive or a little disordered, but not crazy. Then something snaps and suddenly I'm purging 2-5 times a day, eating nothing between binges that feel like they're going to tear my stomach. I get pale, develop anaemia, lost a large amount of weight rapidly and after purging my blood sugar plummets. Most distressingly, the strength that I built up exercising and generally being active over the previous 'healthy' month goes out the window- I can barely climb stairs now.
The worst part is that the good months are getting shorter, while the bad just get longer and more intense. How long is this going to goon for? I don't want to think about what the conclusion might be.
[Help] Any low calorie fruits like papaya?
/u/EternalVertigo
Created: Sat Jul 28 13:37:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92osnw/any_low_calorie_fruits_like_papaya/
---
I like fruits, but sadly I can't eat them.
š©
Salt overconsumption
/u/thin_is_happiness
Created: Sat Jul 28 13:21:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ooq5/salt_overconsumption/
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Well... In an attempt to stop myself from binging, I ate Knorr Vegetable Powder straight from its container. It was really really salty, but fortunately it stopped me from eating anything else and ruining my diet. However, today I notice I have quite puffy/chibby cheeks. Could it be from the salt I consumed? :O
[Help] questions about sustainable weight loss/how realistic is staying in a constant deficit?
/u/AgreeableReplacement [22Fš5'8š~100lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 28 13:18:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92onvh/questions_about_sustainable_weight_losshow/
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ive never been in a constant deficit for this long before, probably since january and ive lost 40ish lbs. ive been steadily upping my calories to better control binge urges and eat about 1200-1300cals nowadays. recently i started adding 1 maintenance day per week.
anyway i had my first out of control binge a few days ago and ive been having urges again today which is stressing me tf out. i really dont want to end up in a long term binge phase like i did after my last relapse so im wondering what the best approuch would be if im still wanting to lose. maybe adding another maintenance day every week? i was thinking of just eating at maintenance for a week or 2 then continue with restriction but my ED brain isn't pleased with that idea lol. idk what to do, someone helpp
I just C/S a single raisin.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Sat Jul 28 13:13:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92omj1/i_just_cs_a_single_raisin/
---
It was really tasty.
Wtf is wrong with me.
[Discussion] DAE get triggered by their own safe food because it tastes too good?
/u/philoqueen [5'7" | CW 112 | BMI 17.5 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 12:48:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ofgn/dae_get_triggered_by_their_own_safe_food_because/
---
My OMAD today was 2 slices of 0 sugar bread (50 cals each), a thin layer of chocolate PBFit (50 cal), and a ton of sugar free syrup (15 cal). Total was only 165 cal for LEGIT what tasted like french toast and I had a full blown panic attack.
Even though I know logically it was fine, it just tasted TOO good to be true.
Anyone else freaked out by eating something safe that tasted too good?
[Discussion] Who's ready for it to be winter again already?
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1.5" | CW202.4 | BMI38 | -18 | 22M]
Created: Sat Jul 28 12:41:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92odms/whos_ready_for_it_to_be_winter_again_already/
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Giant sweaters that cover my hands. My hot tea/hot coffee several cup a day habit is justified. It's normal to be cold all the time. Piles of blankets. Staying inside. My body is ready.
ED & sex???
/u/katemalley10
Created: Sat Jul 28 12:26:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92o9jo/ed_sex/
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Just looking for advice- my sex drive is at an all time low this usually happens with weight fluctuations. Iām recovering right now & have gained almost 20 pounds and I refuse to be unclothed or have sex with my fiancĆ© and itās causing issues in my relationship HELP! The only solution I can come up with is restricting but I donāt want to start that
[Discussion] favorite low calorie swaps?
/u/heyyyygirl
Created: Sat Jul 28 12:04:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92o3dj/favorite_low_calorie_swaps/
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I live for replacing high calorie things with lower cal versions and whenever I find a low cal version of something I love I get so happy. My favorite ones include: almond milk, pb2 chocolate, seltzer & diet coke, 45 cal bread, sugar free jello/pudding, 35 cal popsicles, stevia, jordanās skinny syrups. What are your favorite low cal swaps? I live for these Tbh
[Rant/Rave] Only lost 5lbs in a week
/u/staysoft
Created: Sat Jul 28 11:39:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92nwop/only_lost_5lbs_in_a_week/
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I've just weighed myself and I've only lost 5lbs in a week :( I know I shouldn't be too hard on myself since some people don't lose that much in two weeks nevermind one but I had a target of 10lbs a week so I feel awful, like I've been lazy :(
Sorry for the rant but I have no one else nor anywhere else to talk about this and it's just made me feel so shitty
people that romanticise this.
/u/praduh [š„ š° * 16.8]
Created: Sat Jul 28 11:35:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92nvj8/people_that_romanticise_this/
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just wanna let you know that itās 1:30pm and today Iāve already binged on an entire medium pizza after fasting for 30hrs, purged it entirely, immediately following did two hours of kickboxing, took six laxatives and now I can barely walk because my legs are so shaky. still want this? lmao trust me, you donāt
[Rant/Rave] You Got Skinny Again
/u/_Pulltab_ [5' 7"| CW 171.8 | 26.9|-23.2| F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 11:30:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92nu8t/you_got_skinny_again/
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Said by my best friend who I havenāt seen for 2 months (-25). Iām not even in normal weight category yet. I felt that so many ways: validation, triggering, pissed off, depressed. I just said, āyeah, I have along way to go.ā
I keep telling myself itās okay to eat something this afternoon. Iām hungry and feel awful and headachey. But then I remember that, āyou got skinny againā and Iām like, āmaybe Iāll just never eat againā.
I hate how a goal weight can never be enough & some other shit
/u/taikutsuu [5'9'' | cw: 125 | 18.08 bmi | gw: 110 | 18f]
Created: Sat Jul 28 11:26:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92nt0y/i_hate_how_a_goal_weight_can_never_be_enough_some/
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I just got down to 55kg. I was so fucking happy, alright. I was squeaking. Hours later it feels like my legs have never been as fat as they are now.
Then there's people telling me I shouldn't lose any more weight, then some calling me "fatlegs", and I just want to drink myself into oblivion and not exist anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. This disorder is killing me.
Guess who's back, back again?
/u/-PM-ME-NICE-THINGS- [5"2 | CW: 51kg | BMI: 20.6 | Ortho]
Created: Sat Jul 28 11:24:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92nsk9/guess_whos_back_back_again/
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No, it's not Slim Shady.
It's just the girl-next-door with her tail between her legs, recovery hasn't worked out. 3rd time lucky!
Out of interest, how many of you have left here only to come back? I swear I do this every time.
Best way to guess calories on food from a small local shop with no info on their website?
/u/ButterflyThin [66" | 180 | 29.17 | -70 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 11:23:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ns96/best_way_to_guess_calories_on_food_from_a_small/
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My friends love to order chinese food once a week and I want to keep taking part without hating myself. I try to make it my one meal for the day since I know it has to be high calorie.
Anyway, it's a very local place with no calorie information what so ever. I always get chicke - there are no veggie options- and white rice. White rice I can guess pretty easy but I have no idea for the chicken between the sauce and the breading. It also has random veggies but I am not as worried about those. I always split a meal with somone.
Any way to make a good, educated, guess next time I eat with them?
[Rant/Rave] I'm a Failure. I Can't Even Go a Week Without Bingeing.
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Sat Jul 28 11:21:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92nrp2/im_a_failure_i_cant_even_go_a_week_without/
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I joined the pact in a post earlier this week to not binge all week. What do I do? Binge the day after. And the day after that. And then restrict, and then I binged yesterday too. I actually reached my goal weight for once and I keep ruining it. I hate myself. I cant do anything right. I'm probably up 5 lbs. I can feel all the food in my intestines. I can feel the weight. I'm so fucking angry at myself.
[Rant/Rave] I relapsed.
/u/tomorrowcomestoday18
Created: Sat Jul 28 11:13:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92nplc/i_relapsed/
---
My online friend is constantly talking about how she hasn't eaten all day and I've never really questioned it since I know that some 'normal' people do forget to eat sometimes. I told her, "I wish I was like you, just forgetting to eat.." and she replied saying "Oh no you don't, my blood levels are really low and I shiver sometimes." That made me question if she might have an ED. So then I asked her how much she weighted, which I KNOW is a very personal question and I wouldn't like it if someone asked me it too but I was extremely curious. And plus, if she was hesitant about it, then maybe my thought about her having an ED might be true. But then she easily replied with, "54 kg, sometimes it goes down to 52" which is 119/115 pounds respectively. She's 5'9.. so that means that she's underweight. I'm 5'1 at 112 pounds and the fact that she weighs so close to me at such a big height difference made me feel like the fattest person in the whole world...
Also another reason to why I think she doesn't have an ED is because I remember talking about my weight loss to her and I mentioned calories. Much to my surprise, she asked me, "Wait, actually what are calories?". That was big evidence that she doesn't have an ED and was just someone who's naturally skinny. I don't think I've met someone with an ED that doesn't know even the basics about calories. Anyway, it made me more mad knowing that she weighs so little just by forgetting to eat and I'm over here restricting to hell and not even be close to skinny.
I also know how she looks like and she's BEAUTIFUL. Not forgetting to mention ridiculously skinny and tall too. Well, there goes my self confidence... I was actually getting better and was losing weight healthily (aka the looong way) with little calorie restricting and more focused towards exercising but it looks like I'm back to 500 calories (at this point even less) a day and even adding in my new exercise routine to it ://. Well, fuck it, whatever. Wish me luck, I'm getting to 95 pounds! š
Does anybody else like to pretend their food is something else?
/u/sad_skelly [5'8"|125lbs| F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 11:01:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92nm8d/does_anybody_else_like_to_pretend_their_food_is/
---
I don't know if this is common behaviour in the ED world. But sometimes, when I'm craving a burger, which is a food I've accepted I'm probably never eating again in my life unless my boyfriend makes me, I like to sit down alone quietly with a bag of lettuce, and eat it while imagining that I have just eaten a huge meaty burger with sauce and mayo before. I look at the picture of the burger on the lettuce pack of the brand I buy, and imagine how it would smell and taste while I eat the crunchy lettuce.
What foods do you like to pretend with?
[Discussion] Exercise to lose the leftover fat without gaining muscle?
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -70 | 31F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 11:01:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92nm6y/exercise_to_lose_the_leftover_fat_without_gaining/
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I need to get rid of the leftover fat on my stomach and the backs of my thighs but I really donāt want to gain muscle mass. Iāve been mostly maintaining my weight at about 115 (Iām 5ā4ā) for about a year with only a few lapses back into purging but I hate how big I still feel.
Does purging.. work? Like, how many calories does it expel? Surely not all of them, but how efficient exactly is it?
/u/BIueJayWay [5"3| CW:107 |GW: 102 |BMI:18.9 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 10:50:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92njdg/does_purging_work_like_how_many_calories_does_it/
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Water weight, you SOB
/u/WantsToPetAllTheDogs
Created: Sat Jul 28 10:42:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92nh4f/water_weight_you_sob/
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Whenever I go to the pool, I sweat out 3+ pounds and itās the best. feeling. ever. until I remember itās just water weight. Still love that instant gratification though.
[Rant/Rave] What is it about heartbreak that makes you never want to eat again?
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 131.8 | 20.19 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 10:18:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92nanj/what_is_it_about_heartbreak_that_makes_you_never/
---
Sorry if this isnāt the most appropriate sub, I just need some support and not to get bitched at like relationship subreddits like to do.
I found clothes in his closet. Sexy clothes. For a girl. That he did NOT buy for me. Theyāre not for him. Theyāre for a tiny girl with tiny boobs not a fucking monster like me.
Heās cheated before. Weāve broken up before. Yesterday I heard a love song on the radio and after 4 years together, I couldnāt put myself in the song with him. I know that sounds stupid but it made me cry right then and there, I donāt think I love him anymore. Todayās find confirms that.
I took off the necklace he gave me for Valentineās Day that Iāve been wearing almost every day since. Heās on vacation so Iām house/pet sitting for him so itās not like I can avoid thinking of him while Iām sleeping in his fucking bed for the next week.
I am 20 years old. I am well liked, even loved by some. I have friends and a new apartment with my best friend. I am doing well in school. I am getting control over my mental health, for the most part. So why the fuck do I feel so sad over some fucking loser? Iām a goddamn CATCH and I feel worthless thinking of the pretty skinny girls heās always had all over them that make me feel like a raging jealous bitch.
I wanna be over it. Our families are friends and thought we would get married. Telling them is gonna be like fucking come out all over again. I guess Iām just lucky we didnāt get married before I realized that we arenāt meant to be.
Like Iāve heard before- women always think men are going to change, and they donāt. Men think women will never change, but they do. Sounds kinda sexist but itās true in my case. Heās always gonna be an unfaithful piece of shit, and Iām not going to be a pushover anymore.
My roommate just told me "you lost too much much weight"
/u/turtlenecki
Created: Sat Jul 28 10:10:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92n8ii/my_roommate_just_told_me_you_lost_too_much_much/
---
Hi, I am new in this subreddit.
Secretly I am so damn happy someone said anything. And for a short second I thought about telling her that I maybe have a problem. I just said "you really think so? I don't think I lost any weight".
That's all.
[Discussion] Is anyone else just too lazy / tired to eat?
/u/manatrabanter
Created: Sat Jul 28 10:04:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92n6u1/is_anyone_else_just_too_lazy_tired_to_eat/
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I rarely eat breakfast, I have a smoothie for lunch and I donāt eat dinner some nights. I feel like my tummy is used to it??
Will I lose weight if I jump off a bridge
/u/SqueegeeOujia
Created: Sat Jul 28 09:59:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92n5cz/will_i_lose_weight_if_i_jump_off_a_bridge/
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Iām so fucking tired of checking the scale and seeing the same weight. I have been stuck for so long no matter what. Iām tracking my calories perfectly, eating 300-500 every day, I know Iām not doing it wrong because Iāve lived my entire life either counting calories or bingeing calories. My life is calories calories calories. Itās like something is fucking broken. Iām going to have to just fast for a few days because restricting isnāt working anymore. Fasting sucks because Iām already struggling with suicidal ideation and my emotions are fucked and fasting always makes it worse, just like sleep deprivation, and itās really hard to fast when your brain keeps thinking āwhat if today is the last day anywayā and my logic is I might as well eat a little and try to see if it sways me back. But honestly it never does so I donāt know why I even eat. I just donāt want to care anymore. I hate this stupid disgusting fat body.
[Help] bad sleeping = weight gain?
/u/sweaterbug
Created: Sat Jul 28 09:37:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92mzc5/bad_sleeping_weight_gain/
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i've heard that not sleeping properly can lead to weight gain? is this true?
jetlag has been killin me. i got home from an overseas trip last monday and sleep 3 hours a night (not counting the two 6 hour naps i took during the week), so ig u could see why i'm worrying!
thank u<3
[Discussion] Did anyone else have really good skin when they were restricting?
/u/lavenderbruises [5'10"|CW 115| GW 100| BMI 16.74| 19F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 09:31:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92mxsp/did_anyone_else_have_really_good_skin_when_they/
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Back when I was hardcore restricting I had almost no breakouts on my face at all. I suspect it was because I stopped eating dairy, sugar, oils, etc. But now Im eating ānormallyā and my skin is back to its old misbehaving self.
Now Im afraid to eat anything in fear thst it will break me out.
[Rant/Rave] Obsessive and Pathetic
/u/NathansRattail
Created: Sat Jul 28 09:19:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92muq4/obsessive_and_pathetic/
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I've been up 1lb for the past several days, despite netting about 700 calories/day for the past month, and it's not even PMS week. Maintenance for me is 1700/day, so clearly it's not a fat gain with those numbers, but the effect it has on me mentally is so ridiculous. I'm depressed, bitchy and have canceled multiple plans for the weekend so I can just stay home and sulk. OVER ONE POUND OF BLOAT.
I spent the past 2 days chugging water and coffee, peeing and pooping a ton and weighing 3+ times a day. When the scale still didn't budge this morning, my first thought was to skip my long Saturday workout and binge eat all day.
I didn't do it, at least, but it's so frustrating when I can't get myself to listen to logic.
Just had to vent and figured only you guys would understand.
[Help] Thinner, waxy skin and significantly more gaunt than yesterday.
/u/mvemjsun00
Created: Sat Jul 28 09:02:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92mqj5/thinner_waxy_skin_and_significantly_more_gaunt/
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Iām doing a fast right now Iām Iām currently at about 36 hours. This is usually the time when my eyes start to sink and my skin gets blotchy with a very waxy texture and my cheeks hollow significantly more than their natural contour. Does anyone else get this effect on 24 hour + fast?? I donāt know why this happens. Maybe Iām unknowingly becoming dehydrated. This always happens on very low restriction or (what I consider) a long fast but I always assumed it was normal.
[Rant/Rave] A site that gives you money for weight loss?!
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1.5" | CW202.4 | BMI38 | -18 | 22M]
Created: Sat Jul 28 09:00:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92mpvd/a_site_that_gives_you_money_for_weight_loss/
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This is both a rant and a rave. I found a site that allows you to bet money against yourself that you will lose a certain amount of weight in a certain time. I'm not linking it here because all I can think about is how fucked up it must seem to people with EDs. And how dangerous that could be. But I'm really interested in trying it at the same time. Basically if you make the goal, they'll double your money. But if not, you owe them a certain pledge amount that you agreed upon previously. I just don't know how to feel! Why do things like this exist?!
IS there ever a way to be happy, healthy AND skinny?
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Sat Jul 28 08:58:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92mpd2/is_there_ever_a_way_to_be_happy_healthy_and_skinny/
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And I mean actually skinny as in BMI 16-18ish, but eating an amount that you can maintain on, workout to be happy and healthy, having treats here and there, all that. Man, I'm so sick of this misery of eating 300 calories, then binging on 8000 calories,purging, binging, then back to starving, not having ANY mental space for anything else and completely ruining my life, relationships and work.
But I don't want to get fat again. I lost 60ish pounds, need to lose at least 10-15 more but I have to eat practically nothing to lose weight and my metabolism is completely ruined. How I wish I could just eat healthy and intuitively but still look slim :(
[Help] Where does the phrase 'high value food' come from?
/u/madeoneover
Created: Sat Jul 28 08:55:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92mom0/where_does_the_phrase_high_value_food_come_from/
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It's something I have in my head when I'm thinking about what to eat, and I don't know where the phrase came from, any clues? I'm not even sure what it's supposed to mean. Like, for me it can mean either 'bad food' like bread and chocolates, or expensive healthy food like cherries or fish or seaweed, depending on the context I'm using it for. I never really got a good idea of what safe/danger/binge triggering foods are for me, and I was trying to write a list because today has been a binge day, and I want to avoid that, obviously. Off the top of my head it could come from any of these
- Eating disorder recovery CBT group I was in for a while
- my fucked up mums obsession with using fake science to cover her own eating/MH problems
- Biology degree I just finished
- Other ED reading I've done
- Something I just made up
Also, does anyone have any tips on figuring out which foods can trigger the compulsion to binge? Or why people get triggered by some foods but not others?
But mainly, has anyone else heard this phrase?
[Tip] Losertown, the website that tells you approximately when youāll reach each goal weight.
/u/whereismaimind
Created: Sat Jul 28 08:51:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92mnn5/losertown_the_website_that_tells_you/
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I saw on a different sub somebody giving calculations for you to find out when youāll reach your goal weight. It made me remember [THIS ](https://www.losertown.org/eats/cal.php) website. You enter in all your information and it gives you dates when youāre expected to reach certain weights.
im recovering.
/u/cinnamonpatt
Created: Sat Jul 28 08:47:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92mmp4/im_recovering/
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for the past 2 days, i havenāt thrown up everything i ate. although i did do it once, itās a start. Itās marching band thatās helping me do this, i eat breakfast because we exersize in the mornings, and i need energy, and then i eat lunch, and although itās not the healthiest food, i keep it in because i spend the next 5 hours in a room practicing my instrument and i know i will get uncomfortable and hungry, then i go home and eat dinner because i am tired and hungry. itās only been 2 days, but i already feel like i can actually keep food and start eating normally. so far, i havenāt gained. i feel great!
[Other] great use of my calories today š
/u/goatling94
Created: Sat Jul 28 07:46:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92m7zh/great_use_of_my_calories_today/
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https://i.redd.it/19uthdfy0pc11.png
Prednisone prescription for 4 days....
/u/Roomhunter
Created: Sat Jul 28 07:18:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92m1yk/prednisone_prescription_for_4_days/
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So ive been battling with a lung infection for the past month or so. My doctor gave me a prescription for 20mg prednisone once a day for 4 days.
WEIGHT GAIN is a huge concern for me and thats one of the side effects. Im on day two and ive been working out like crazy and restricting. Anyone have experience in this steroid?
[Discussion] Eating foods for their texture
/u/markexclamationmark
Created: Sat Jul 28 06:38:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ltq1/eating_foods_for_their_texture/
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Sorry for the long post bit this take some explaining haha
I feel like I am abnormally into foods with a texture that feels good to eat. My personal faves = creamy + icey, foods with mixed textures (bubble tea, choc chip ice cream, salads, cereal) and this weirdly specific one: foods that are simultaneously crunchy but also melt in your mouth (think senbei, Corn Thins and Cheezels for any Aussies out there, popcorn, flaky pastry, crusty white bread)
I go to great lengths to aquire these textures without having to eat ice-cream or other junk. I'll have frozen berries with a small amount of greek yoghurt mixed through it, left for about 3 mins so it gets a frozen yoghurt coating . I put a glass of diet coke in the freezer for about 30mins and if you time it just right the top is frozen without being hard and it's the texture of chunky snow. I'll have an iced coffee (pre-prepared in the freezer) with a small scoop of ice cream. If the coffee is cold enough, it will freeze on contact with the ice cream and create a lovely coffee flavoured coating on the scoop. I will semi-freeze any juicy fruit (if you haven't tried frozen grapes yet DO IT).
I also do this weird thing with diced watermelon where i use a fork to smush it down on my tongue so the juice gets crushed out. It is somehow amazing.
Anyone else have interesting food cravings that have little to do with taste?
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! July 28, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 28 06:11:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92lojt/stupid_questions_saturday_july_28_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for July 28, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 28, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 28 06:10:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92loci/daily_food_diary_july_28_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 28, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] TMI: Gained so much weight my underwear is cutting into me?!
/u/Existing_Trifle [174cm | ??136lbs?? | 20.08 | -40lbs, +30lbs | :doge:]
Created: Sat Jul 28 06:05:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92lnfr/tmi_gained_so_much_weight_my_underwear_is_cutting/
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I knew I'd fallen off the restriction wagon big time, but damn, ain't nothing like being in pain from your panties cutting into your vageen bones to wake a sista up.
By "attempting normal eating" I had actually just become addicted to sugar and junk food, eating \**multiple*\* chocolate and almond croissants for breakfast, cookies by mid-morning, big microwave pasta meal for lunch and more chocolate and pastries before dinner, and** Du**h, the weight followed.
So I'm at crossroads, between buying bigger pants (insert crying laughing/skull emoji's here) and falling back into the pit of disordered eating. ^("Alternatively form actually healthy eating habits so you lose the weight healthi-" "SHUT UP NANCY, GTFO O' HERE")
I mean...I've made a new pro/ed account sooo you tell me what you think my choice was :,)
I hate this cycle
/u/DrRobotniksMachine
Created: Sat Jul 28 06:03:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ln2e/i_hate_this_cycle/
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I am horrified by how much weight I have gained over the past few years. I just went onto my old myfitnesspal account and I have gained over 40lbs since I last logged there.
I have put on a lot due to medication for my biploar/bpd. Now I feel unable to eat a normal 'non binge' amount. Earlier this year I was starting to get back into the habit of b/p but quickly realised I did not want to go down that path again, because its gross and consuming.
However, I cant handle how out of control these binges make me feel. I want to punish myself for it. I want to feel empty. I want to feel light. I want to feel free from the burden of all this heavy food inside me.
It feels that every time I feel the urge to restrict I will overwhelmingly just binge instead. I am spending so much money on junk food. I have had to buy a whole new wardrobe of clothes to fit my disgusting new body.
I hate this.
[Other] Visiting your therapist
/u/worrxrrx
Created: Sat Jul 28 05:24:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92lg5c/visiting_your_therapist/
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So I write a lot and recently I wrote this sort of inner monologue one has when visiting the therapist and I thought some people might be able to relate. Pls don't take it too seriously, writing is just a way i manage a lot of my emotions so often it's just kinda jokey and light hearted. hope you enjoy it anyway [https://mymediocremusingssite.wordpress.com/2018/06/07/your-inner-monologue-when-visiting-the-therapist/](https://mymediocremusingssite.wordpress.com/2018/06/07/your-inner-monologue-when-visiting-the-therapist/)
[Intro] I hate
/u/Liz11673
Created: Sat Jul 28 04:42:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92l926/i_hate/
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I hate eating.
I HATE eating.
I hate how it feels to eat too much. I hate how it feels to make up for it.
I hate my throat. I hate my finger. I hate food.
I always thought I'd grow out of this "mentality".
Yet 11 years later, here I am.
I hate that I'm scared to go to the dentist. What am I supposed to tell them?
"I just never flossed, so I'm trying to make up for it."
Or
"I'm recovering"
My biggest fear is the condescending "TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOUR TEETH".
I'm trying, I really am.
But I see myself. I hate what's in the mirror. My throat is the easy way. But it's not enough.
I got drunk tonight.
I squatted in my alley trying to purge when nothing would come up.
"The saliva that I'm spitting out is weight lost"
Every little bit counts right now.
I'm at my lowest weight from the last three years thanks to this relapse.
I hate that I'm satisfied by it.
[Rant/Rave] feeling fat and huge is making me fatter and bigger
/u/a1sha
Created: Sat Jul 28 04:31:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92l7aw/feeling_fat_and_huge_is_making_me_fatter_and/
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woke up early with the intention of going to the gym. put my gym clothes on and was about to set my foot through the door but caught a glance of myself in the mirror and was so horrified by what i saw.
i look like a huge beached whale. i am so ashamed i canāt even leave the house let alone go to the gym.
hate myself and hate my body.
iām sorry for being annoying and feeling sorry for myself but i just need to vent to let these feelings go. i donāt understand how i can weigh the same as i did the day before yet feel bigger than i ever have.
i am trying to stop purging and fucking up my body like i usually do but days like this just make me want to take a knife to my stomach and butcher all the fat off and drain whateverās in my stomach.
ANGER REACT š¤¬š¤¬š¤¬
[Goal] 10lbs down in 5 days
/u/yungbrrrat [5'8 / HW 143 / CW 138 / GW 122 / F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 04:22:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92l5rr/10lbs_down_in_5_days/
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I love that woooosh I get when I start restricting, been eating an average of 950 cals and drinking tons of water
Iām too fat when Iām happy
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 107.2lbs | 19.13(new) | -24.8lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 00:52:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92k830/im_too_fat_when_im_happy/
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Back in the day I was pretty severely depressed. Iām surprised I havenāt killed myself by now tbh. But then I actually found a good guy, got engaged, started feeling better annddd......gained weight. Can I just be depressed again so I can look good
What does your hunger feel like?
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Sat Jul 28 00:47:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92k77z/what_does_your_hunger_feel_like/
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I have three kinds.
Fasting hunger: my body is like, āHey, we havenāt eaten it a long time and it would be swell to have some nutrients. No big, just letting you know.ā Can be ignored. Usually sated with fluids (temporarily).
Urgent hunger: usually happens after breaking a fast. An all encompassing drive to eat. Binge eating quite likely. I cannot think of anything but food. Itās incessant and consumes every bit of my attention until I eat more. Cannot be ignored. Doesnāt matter how full my stomach is, my body demands more and more food. I can have a stomach bursting with food and I crave more.
Deficit hunger: after eating for the day and a caloric deficit remains. Not urgent. Itās the sensation of hunger, but in a chronic, low grade way. I want to eat, but I can ignore the mild discomfort and pursue other activities. Will eventually merge into fasting hunger unless the caloric deficit is too steep, at which point it becomes urgent hunger.
Soup Singles - Not amazing ingredients but low-cal meal @ 150 calories
/u/newforvevernever [5'6'' | CW 113.7 | GW 101 | WL 4 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 28 00:29:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92k3wd/soup_singles_not_amazing_ingredients_but_lowcal/
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https://imgur.com/QNAqmDs.jpg
[Help] My brain is on fire. Please help, I need you guys right now. *trigger warning: sexual assault*
/u/madelinemead
Created: Sat Jul 28 00:27:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92k3nn/my_brain_is_on_fire_please_help_i_need_you_guys/
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TLDR: I may be pregnant & two thoughts race through my mind more than anything: 1. Give up, walk into the woods and starve to death so they find a thin corpse. 2. Restrict Restrict Restrict
Iāve lurked for years but this is my first official post. Iāve been underweight and without a period for years now. My fiancĆ© is a loving man, because of him Iāve been able to loosen up a bit. Unfortunately this caused a 10 lb weight gain. Iām 5ā6ā and I currently weigh 121.6 pounds and Iāve maintained it for a couple months or so. I feel obese but on top of that, my period came back. I havenāt had a regular period since I dropped below 110 over a year ago. I donāt keep track of periods because I never needed to. In a weird way I felt pride that I was so thin I couldnāt get a period. When I was 14, I was overweight and had regular periods. At 15 I was gang raped (including an implement that left wooden splinters) and beaten into a coma for 3 days. I soon found out I was pregnant from the attack but I was an exchange student living in Brazil. I didnāt have many options so I had a ācoat hangerā abortion and it (plus the trauma from the rape) caused severe uterine scarring. I was told Iād never get pregnant again. Earlier this year I got pregnant and had the most physically painful miscarriage at only 1 month. Today I took a test and it had a faint positive.
Things that are currently driving me insane:
ā¢The possibility of another life threatening miscarriage and the physical pain/PTSD related mental anguish it would cause.
ā¢The fact that I canāt afford an abortion and my fiancĆ© wants a child.
ā¢The fact that I love my fiancĆ© and want to have a child with him someday , but the injuries sustained during the event might render that impossible/could make every attempted pregnancy as gut wrenchingly painful as the last.
ā¢If the baby is healthy and continues to grow, Iāll get disgustingly big and never lose the weight.
ā¢The fear that even if I love this baby, I wonāt be able to get over my ED and Iāll starve it and myself into miscarriage
ā¢The fear of succumbing to pregnancy cravings, getting fat, carrying the baby full term, and then having severe postpartum depression and harming myself or the baby
ā¢Falling in love with the thing inside of me knowing full well it doesnāt have a high chance of making it and the grief to follow.
ā¢Everything going well but then not being able to support the kid financially in any way shape or form.
[Rant/Rave] Black tea!
/u/rosecoloredidiot [21F | CW: 64kg BMI: 24.5 | GW: 45kg ]
Created: Sat Jul 28 00:19:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92k27o/black_tea/
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Why wasn't I drinking this before?? I never realised how incredible it is as an appetite suppressant.
I woke up at 5:30am and had about 500ml of cold black tea (and no breakfast). It's now 8:18am and I'm not even *remotely* hungry. Generally at this time I'd be starving, and that's after having breakfast at about 6. I am so impressed.
Now I want this stuff to be injected directly into my veins.
How do I support my friend?
/u/Oddslat [168cm | 154 | -30lbs | F | š: chelz]
Created: Fri Jul 27 23:56:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92jxkf/how_do_i_support_my_friend/
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I am currently on holiday with my friend and she has been constantly on edge with food. She's unable to truly enjoy herself during the trip as she is currently worried about food and how she looks, etc. She checks MFP every 5 minute even though she hasn't eaten anything new.
I understand I am in no place to force her into recovery, but it is really damaging to our relationship. I want to see her happy and enjoy herself during this trip however, her relationship with food is forbidding her to do so and I feel so helpless watching her struggle.
I, too, suffer from an ED however I've recovered, so I truly empathise with how she feels. She feels that any comment i make is me trying to sabotage her "diet". I want to know how I can help her feel better and actually have fun during this trip without tarnishing our relationship. Any advice would be appreciated!
[Rant/Rave] First body check in a while.
/u/2ndfirstday [:redditgold: 5'5" | C 102.6 | G 95 | :downvote:1 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 23:40:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92july/first_body_check_in_a_while/
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God. What a mess this week has been. Iāve just generally been feeling down and like shit, nothing to keep me going aside from losing weight. Iāve literally been listening to a weight-loss audio book on repeat, binge-watching weight-loss shows, restricting, planning, whatever. I havenāt left my room except to go to work. I havenāt had social contact in a few weeks now.
And tonight, I stepped into the bathroom. I said fuck it, my eyelashes are too short. I put on mascara. Two coats. Thatās prettier. Canāt fix that nose, though. What the fuck is wrong with your hairline - why do you have that bald spot, cover it with your bangs. Another coat of mascara. God your face is long. And your cheeks are fat. Your chin is too long. Is there a surgery to fix that?
Why do you have so much testosterone, your shoulders are too broad and thereās hair on your belly and on your breasts. Shave it all. Your boobs are tiny for how much fat you have. This is backward. Your back is spilling over through your sports bra. Jesus Christ , look at those arms, theyāre massive. Remember when you prided yourself in your flat tummy? Where did your hip bones go? Holy fuck your thighs are huge. I donāt even want to look at those calves.
And I fell to the floor. I tried to cry but nothing came out so I just sulked there for a bit. Took my underwear off and took a shower.
I think Iām going to fast again tomorrow.
Why why WHY do I keep fucking up!?
/u/enviose
Created: Fri Jul 27 22:47:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92jjtl/why_why_why_do_i_keep_fucking_up/
---
[removed]
Two mug cakes into a binge...
/u/HaveASchpadoinkleDay
Created: Fri Jul 27 22:45:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92jjf1/two_mug_cakes_into_a_binge/
---
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I blame the mug cakes. Theyāre so little and easy to make. A tablespoon of this, a teaspoon of that. Today Satan won.
What was the cause of your unraveling today?
[Discussion] Does anyone know what caused their ED? I'm curious to hear stories, and here's mine
/u/river-of-souls
Created: Fri Jul 27 22:34:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92jh3i/does_anyone_know_what_caused_their_ed_im_curious/
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I became worried about my weight in about grade four. I was heavier than the other kids, and everyone knew. Nobody said a word, though. Actually mentioning it, no one has ever said a mean word about my weight ever. Huh.
I tried "diets" throughout grade four five and six. None of them serious, because I'd just eat a bunch of vegetables, realize that cake and donuts tasted way better, and give up. Really at that time, I didn't care to loose weight. Sure none of the other kids were my size, no one in the media was my size, but I actually didn't care. I was happy being me.
It was grade six when someone I trusted, a caretaker so to say, planted this seed of doubt in my head. She was talking to another kid, explaining why you need self confidence. She pointed to me and said, "Look at her. She doesn't think about her flaws. She doesn't let anyone put her down." I know it was a compliment, but from then on I was left thinking if I had flaws. I wondered if she was secretly implying that there was something wrong with me.
Looking back now, she was simply trying to help another kid at the daycare, but I read into that statement far too much. It's the reason I'm where I am today.
From then on, it was just a downwards spiral. I hated my body so much in the eighth grade, but the disorder really took hold in the ninth. And now, here I am, still reaching for the weight that will please me.
I'm curious as to the stories behind other people's EDs. If you don't mind sharing, feel free to tell it down below.
[Help] Foods that are easy on the stomach?
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 88.6lbs| 14.2 | Male]
Created: Fri Jul 27 22:24:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92jevp/foods_that_are_easy_on_the_stomach/
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My guts are in crippling pain. I haven't eaten anything different, though I'm thinking the spinach feta egg white wrap (thanks Starbucks) was a lot heavier than I remember them being. Or something. I just had one less than a week ago, so that's probably overdoing it. Anyway, I'm mostly trying to stop losing weight; I'm down again and my doctor is going to put me in hospital if I've lost any more next week. So, I need to get the calories in, but ow my insides. What are some meal/snack ideas that won't destroy me? I've done a lot of Boost today.
[Help] Fluttery heart feeling while in the shower, felt like I was going to collapse
/u/LemonsnRoses
Created: Fri Jul 27 22:22:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92jel3/fluttery_heart_feeling_while_in_the_shower_felt/
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I donāt even know if itās possible to have messed up my heart. Iām at a healthy weight (23.9 BMI) but I have been engaging in restricting and the occasional purge for almost a year exactly since this relapse. After the first time I recovered, the drs cleared me and said that there was no permanent damage. So I should be fine, and Iāve only lost about 30 pounds and have plateaued for a crazy long time. But I was in the shower (now am out) and my heart started to feel all fluttery and like it was hitting against my rib cage. Itās happened before but nowhere near as bad. Should I start wearing my Fitbit again to monitor my heart rate? I ate about 500 today, and my fasting hasnāt been over 40 hours (24 about 3x per week but I eat right at 24). I donāt know, my heart is still racing. Is this ānormalā ie Iām not gonna die tonight right? I canāt get any medical help because of who Iām living with and Iām still feeling like shit. Iām gonna eat a little something but honestly Iām scared to walk down the stairs.
[Rant/Rave] Rant/vent
/u/Hannahbutterflyana
Created: Fri Jul 27 22:19:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92jdyt/rantvent/
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Well hey there I am a piece if shit and I love my booze and I hate my body. Been restricting like I have never done before and even though the calories are higher than most it's a huge change for me, and now I barely eat, but hate myself when I do, but I still can't stop drinking my calories In Alcohol. I drink every night, and when I don't it's cuz I work late and my bf wont let me spend the money or use his car. Oh did I mention I also have major depressive disorder that comes and goes, chronic anxiety, panic disorder, chronic migraines and a total hatred of my body? So yup what's where I am rn.
[Tip] Anyone have some high protein meal/snack ideas?
/u/river-of-souls
Created: Fri Jul 27 22:04:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92jaox/anyone_have_some_high_protein_mealsnack_ideas/
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Right now, as long as I stay within my calorie limit (800-1000), I can typically eat whatever and keep losing. However, I definetly want to incorporate some high protein items to my meal plan, and it's great at preserving what little muscle I have left.
Any suggestions?
Do you guys get told you're gonna gain all the weight back?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 174lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 21:57:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92j92h/do_you_guys_get_told_youre_gonna_gain_all_the/
---
This pisses me off to no end.
"Oh, well, if you don't practice healthy habits and learn to sustain a healthy diet, when you get to your goal weight you're gonna gain it all back"
Fuck off
It's the most smug, douchey thing you can say to me. You, who knows basically nothing about nutrition, or my own habits, or how I've basically accepted I have to track forever. There was a post yesterday I think, where someone was complaining about others telling them how to lose weight or something like that- this strikes the same nerve as that does for me.
Yes, I did gain ~15 lb after about a month of binging. But yknow, I didn't have any delusion that that was in any way a normal or sustainable diet to "maintain." God damn, you have no idea what it takes to control this beast.
horrible "joke" via boyfriend
/u/seeitneedssweeping
Created: Fri Jul 27 21:54:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92j8lj/horrible_joke_via_boyfriend/
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I gave him a blowjob earlier. I mentioned a little after that his cum was making my stomach hurt. His BRILLIANT response... "so go get rid of it"
he knows very well that I struggle with purging. wtf was he thinking and how do I even address this. He felt bad when I said "did you really just say that?" but just. WTF. thats a weird thing to say to someone who doesn't even have an ED. I'm flummoxed. nsfw to be safe i guess
Can I get some baked bean love here?
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Fri Jul 27 21:51:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92j7wu/can_i_get_some_baked_bean_love_here/
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Theyāre my high-restriction staple. Like, a can is maybe 300 cal, or my fave kind, Heinz Barbecue beans, have like 330. Which isnāt that much for how delicious, filling, and satisfying they are. And the portion is really big when poured into a bowl. Theyāre so comforting to me. My idea of bliss would be to eat a bowl of baked beans while watching Sherlock, lmao.
The best foods your ED has ruined!
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Fri Jul 27 21:37:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92j4z9/the_best_foods_your_ed_has_ruined/
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Fruit of all sorts. Apples, bananas, pears, raisins. Fuck you, you delicious sugary bastards.
Peanut butter. I miss you, crunchy Jif.
Beef. Why are you so fat? Couldnāt you be a little leaner for me? Chicken is less good.
Grains. I just want to eat some bread. Tacos arenāt as fun without tortillas. Ham and turkey sandwiches arenāt tasty without the sandwich part.
Popcorn. Best part of the movie theater...gone. Fortunately itās expensive so I have an excuse not to eat it anyway.
Carrots. Theyāre sugary. Wtf. Itās a vegetable. How can a vegetable be high calorie? Carrots and hummus are life. Just end me.
FAT DISTRIBUTION
/u/Strawberry2point0 [5'8" | CW: 158 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | 22M]
Created: Fri Jul 27 21:10:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92iyvr/fat_distribution/
---
/> Decide to do some Friday night clothes shopping online (never a good decision, lbr)
/> Let's just look at the size chart on this pair of underwear...
/> My waist is 8 inches too big for their *XXXL*
/> Kill me :D
(The still-somewhat-rational spot in my brain is pointing out that all of my weight is concentrated in my stomach, which is the problem, but thAT'S NOT HELPING THE FACT THAT I'M TOO BIG FOR A FUCKING XXXL)
Taste tied to high anxiety in anorexia (saw in r/science)
/u/catpotatotots [5'4|CW: š |GW: 100|UGW: 90|F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 20:50:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92iuar/taste_tied_to_high_anxiety_in_anorexia_saw_in/
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https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/07/27/in-anorexia-brains-reward-response-to-taste-tied-to-high-anxiety/137331.html
[Other] A new low or a new "genius" idea
/u/petewentzpetegoez [5'5" | lw:97.5 lbs | cw:99.6 | gw:dead | 15F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 20:25:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ioes/a_new_low_or_a_new_genius_idea/
---
I stuffed the large zip lock bag in my pants and let my large shirt hang over it, trying to make it look natural. If anyone had seen it though, there wouldn't have been a rational explanation, it was obvious there was something foreign there. I crept up the stairs to see if the coast was clear and sprinted out the door, with one hand on the bag because bitch it was bouncing around, until I found myself behind our shed. There were a few pieces of metal sheets that were covered in dirt, grime, and age. I moved one until I saw bare ground underneath. As soon as the bag was opened, all of the meals my dad had made over the past week hit me in the face, all at once. It wasn't rotten as the bag had been refrigerated but it was not pleasant either. I dumped it on the ground and pushed it with a stick to go under another piece of metal. I set the piece back on top. The deed was done but the bag still had to be thrown away, and this time I couldn't stuff in my pants. The edges of the top of the bag was covered in calories. I sprinted back to the door with my hands behind my back to hide the bag and peered my head inside. As soon as i saw no one, I ran to the trash can and buried the bag in the trash.
I had succeeded with my first time of doing this. I didn't get caught. I'm thinking this whole situation over and I realize that this is a problem. My eating is an issue I should probably fix. I. Have. A. Problem. I don't want help though. I don't know what to do anymore honestly. I think I'm finally starting to let this consume me. Huh, interesting.
[Other] Road trip, Schedule screwed up, Trying not to cry
/u/_Pulltab_ [5' 7"| CW 171.8 | 26.9|-23.2| F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 20:03:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ijka/road_trip_schedule_screwed_up_trying_not_to_cry/
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I think I did ok today. Iām visiting my best friend out of state and I knew I wouldnāt be able to restrict for a number of reasons. But if feel ok about today. I ate an egg white omelet for breakfast because I had to drive and I didnāt want to get lightheaded on the toll road. We went kayaking, which is really good upper body strength work and then had a picnic on the beach. I only at about a 1/3 cup of fruit and 5 chips with guacamole. For dinner we went to a little vegan place and I had 5/8 of a 10ā vegan pizza with roasted veggies, mushrooms, and cashew cheese. I felt super full but I think itās mostly because I havenāt had bread for so long. After we walked the beach for at least an hour, hour and a half.
I donāt really know how to log the pizza but I doubt I went over 1100 today and got some good exercise. Iām sure the fruit and pizza crust kicked me out of keto but Iāll deal. Iām hoping I wonāt see the scale pop back up after I finally started getting it going in the right direction again. Iām trying to convince myself that it will all be fine. I wonāt be able to weight until Sunday morning.
TL;dr - I was really nervous about visiting my friend out of town but I think I did ok with my eating and I really hope it doesnāt make me gain weight.
[Help] any tips on adding volume to smoothies?
/u/astra2018
Created: Fri Jul 27 19:54:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ihgf/any_tips_on_adding_volume_to_smoothies/
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i love smoothies and smoothie bowls for breakfast but they can get rlly high in calorie rlly fast and i try to aim under 200 calories for them. I usually stick to some berries, some banana, and 1/4 cup almond milk. Yogurt is too high in cal for me to convince myself to use in it. I use xanthan gum already but does anyone have any low calorie/ zero calorie things to add to the smoothie to give it more volume??? Iāve heard of some husk thingy beforebut i forgot the name and would be willing to try it out. Thanks.
[Discussion] Afraid that ED will drastically get worse once i start college as a freshman this fall
/u/jensreddit12
Created: Fri Jul 27 19:42:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92iemj/afraid_that_ed_will_drastically_get_worse_once_i/
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I have had a fair amount of disordered thinking with food, lost 27 lbs since about 6 months ago, bmi of 29 (im already fat). Currently, I'm always surrounded by my family, or if I'm at work, my coworkers, and they would notice if I eat irregularly. Therefore, I eat because it is seriously embarrassing if I wouldn't, and it would become a big issue. But in college, ONLY I can monitor what I'm eating, and I'm afraid the ED demon is going to get the best of me. I want to lose more weight, but I don't want my ED to actually take over my life like it moderately has the last couple of months. Please and thank you for reading this and/or for giving me advice about this.
[Discussion] Presenting dinner! Because Iām back on my bullshit after having my feelings crushed. 500 calories of food eaten overall today.
/u/coolmistmama
Created: Fri Jul 27 19:39:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92idy5/presenting_dinner_because_im_back_on_my_bullshit/
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https://i.redd.it/octfpq0aflc11.jpg
I want to die
/u/FreshlyCutRoses [5'7.5| CW 105.8 | BMI 16.21 | GW death]
Created: Fri Jul 27 19:27:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ib51/i_want_to_die/
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Please just ignore this, I just need to vent. I just binged about 2500 calories and I tried to throw it up but I couldn't. I must have spent an hour with a fucking toothbrush down my throat and still nothing came up. What is wrong with me? I want to never eat again. I want to kill myself. I have to get pizza tomorrow with my family and I can't avoid it, I don't know what to do. I was doing so well this week and now I've messed it all up. I'm never going to be thin. Sorry if this seems rambly, I usually just lurk here and never post anything. sorry
[Discussion] Anyone else use carrot, and feel successful when you havenāt used all your set calories for the day? Even though I also still feel guilty and should be consuming less at the same time??
/u/fethe56
Created: Fri Jul 27 18:27:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92hwp0/anyone_else_use_carrot_and_feel_successful_when/
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Change in fasting ability got me annoyed and nervous
/u/starvy_punk
Created: Fri Jul 27 18:26:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92hwgg/change_in_fasting_ability_got_me_annoyed_and/
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Ive always been a fan of fasting and can usually fast 5 or more days but as ive lost more and more weight i just cant anymore. If i go more than a day or so i just get that really dizzy shaky feeling. And i used to *love* that dizzy sort of dreamy feeling but the symptoms get worse than they used to be. It frustrates me cause now I *have* to add calories where i didnt before. I mean yeah, im still losing weight and seeing myself get thinner but its just *ugggghhhh* annoying as fuck to have to feed myself to make it through work or whatever. I really hate this.
[Rant/Rave] Celiac and Lactose Intolerant hindering weight loss.
/u/I_donut_carrot_all [5'6|F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 18:17:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92hu9t/celiac_and_lactose_intolerant_hindering_weight/
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So I have celiac disease as well as some pretty bad lactose intolerance. I follow these diets very strictly, but am considering stopping because there are SO many low calorie options out there (especially snack/dessert type things) and I feel like it would be SO much easier to drop weight if u had those options available to me.
Is anyone in the same boat?
I just want some damn Sara Lee low calorie bread.
Or skinny cow ice cream , or fiber one brownies.
Best foods that take a long time to eat?
/u/justalittlesmaller [5'2" | 87 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 17:53:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ho4i/best_foods_that_take_a_long_time_to_eat/
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I'm a huge "grazer" - I love to constantly be eating something really low-cal really slowly. I know this might not be a typical eating behaviour for this sub, but I'm wondering if you have any suggestions!
My current faves: HUGE bowl of zucchini-egg white "oatmeal" for sub-100 cals, a pint of homemade salted caramel "protein ice cream" that freezes so hard I have to spend hours scraping away at it with a spoon, massive salads composed of cabbage, cucumber and vinegar, and lastly, soft protein bars that I can take small nibbles of and let them melt in my mouth, requiring 1-2 hours to eat a whole one.
Thanks loves!
[Help] my mum just got a subscription to dinner ladies (kinda like blue apron but frozen) and I cant find the calories online, any ides which one of these would be the lowest?
/u/isaezraa [165 | CW 55 | GW 50 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 17:45:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92hlvv/my_mum_just_got_a_subscription_to_dinner_ladies/
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https://i.redd.it/60i3u9yvukc11.jpg
[Discussion] TMI sorry but whatās the relationship between restriction and liquid shits from hell
/u/SqueegeeOujia
Created: Fri Jul 27 17:37:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92hjyt/tmi_sorry_but_whats_the_relationship_between/
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I have been shitting liquid for a week while restricting somewhere between 300 and 600 every day and I genuinely want to scream and Iām just wondering if anyone elseās digestive system has also been a jerk and if so please tell me your secrets for solids š I have never been in a position where I prayed to poop solids but here we are!!!
[Help] I've binged so hard all month
/u/communalistwitch [5'3" (161 cm) | 110 lb (50 kg)| BMI: 19.3 | 20F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 17:31:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92hiim/ive_binged_so_hard_all_month/
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But I think I really hit the zenith of binging today. Dead sure I'm at 4000 calories now. I never knew what people meant when they said they're too embarrassed to log their calories, but I get it today.
Ever since a few weeks ago when my mom suddenly started force feeding me more but also funnily enough started to make more comments about how I was overeating, I've not had a safe day. Not even a high restriction day. Best case scenario is I got below my TDEE on a couple of those days. I was at a BMI of 18.5 at the beginning of the month, and currently I'm a little away from my starting weight (not my highest weight, which I was at in high school and which I listed as my starting weight in my flare... but my starting weight from September 2017 till March 2018 when I relapsed). Months of progress are gone in just three weeks.
I really need encouragement for restricting again, or anything that motivates you (in hopes that it will motivate me). In case it makes anyone feel uncomfortable to offer something like this: I've had several relapse and recovery periods in the past, am now legally an adult, not a low enough weight that I would risk my health greatly by losing more, and due to living with a very strict and watchful family it is doubtful that I will even hit below 1200 (so really I just need motivation to high-restrict, after three weeks of failing to restrict at all). Please don't offer me recovery advice, as I don't live in an environment where a recovered-me would be accepted if I were anything other than stick thin. My mother has a BMI of 17 and my sister has a 20 inch waist, and it is very damaging to me psychologically to be the "fat sibling". I really need to be able to get back to restricting as much as I can for my own psychological health, and if any of you choose to give me tips or motivation I would be extremely grateful
Genuine question: If I don't eat at all one day and the next day I have a 2,500 calories binge, does the caloric intake cancel itself out?
/u/napoleonfucker69
Created: Fri Jul 27 17:22:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92hfyy/genuine_question_if_i_dont_eat_at_all_one_day_and/
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Didn't wanna ask on r/1200isplenty 'cus I know they are hardcore about stupid questions but I genuinely wanna know if fasting or eating under 1200 adds 'free' calories that can be consumed another time.
[Tip] My random filling (&tasty!) food of the dayā¦
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Fri Jul 27 17:07:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92hbwn/my_random_filling_tasty_food_of_the_day/
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SWEET POTATO WITH SALSA.
Ok my family were like ,,, wut. But I baked a sweet potato, mushed it all up with some hot salsa and oh my. That shit was divine! I love sweet potatoes bc of how creamy they are (without butter!!! How amazing.) and relatively low cal for how much they fill me! I ate a big-ish one and im estimating 200 cals (my research says like 112 but Iām too cynical to believe this godsend of a root vegetable is barely over 100cal). But yeah! Itās divine! And if you really wanted to treat yourself itās super good with a sprinkle of cheesy on top. Yum. Honestly I want another just thinking of it!
[Rant/Rave] DAES have large breasts that make them feel like a huge monster?
/u/chezpajama
Created: Fri Jul 27 17:04:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92hb7z/daes_have_large_breasts_that_make_them_feel_like/
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No matter how much weight I lose, my breasts are never smaller than a DD.
I hate pictures of myself because I feel like they make me look like a no-waist fat beast.
Right now Iām 5ā9 and 148. Last bra fitting at an H cup.
Oh and I think one is slightly smaller than the other now that Iāve lost over 20 lbs. I canāt even look at myself naked anymore.
[example ](https://imgur.com/a/s5M8ALy)
[Help] Today's my 20th birthday
/u/Firerose157 [5'4" | 110 | 18.9 | hw 146 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 16:29:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92h1ij/todays_my_20th_birthday/
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Morning started okay. My bf was on his dad's phone, his dad took it away so he was sitting staring into space looking kinda depressed. I mention it and everything blows up with him saying "fuck you guys" because he was the only one without a phone/laptop. He said if I loved him the way he loves me, I would've put the laptop down immediately for us both to enjoy watching something. He ended up spitting on me about 4 times and threw a cardboard box full of soap at me. He's never gotten physical with me like that before, and I was shaking screaming at him to not spit on me (in my family spitting is a huge insult worth physically fighting). He also took my food that I hadn't finished eating and chucked it outside. Picked up my laptop too, not sure what his intentions were there. I've never felt afraid of him physically before, but despite his recent breakdown and discussion of how he realized his dad is a women beater (I never saw or knew this until I moved in with them), he still ended up physical with me... Honestly after seeing his dad do that for the first time (his dad hit him too), I was afraid my partner would do the same, but he was so pissed at his dad, the one man I've seen him admire more than anyone, so I believed he didn't think it was okay. He kept calling me a dumb blonde cunt, a dumb American, a blonde bitch etc. He thinks women get men angry enough through arguing to get physical?? So now I'm sitting here with his mom, he left with his dad after spitting on me - he went to the next town over (his mom told me). He told them too that I expect today to be good because it's my birthday lol rubbing it in how much of a dumb "American cunt" I am... fuck you. i promised myself I'd leave if you got physical, how am I still here when I know he wants me gone... im so scared
I'm out of weed and I don't want to eat.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 88.6lbs| 14.2 | Male]
Created: Fri Jul 27 16:17:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92gy06/im_out_of_weed_and_i_dont_want_to_eat/
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I'm a heavy marijuana user, mostly for appetite and mood. I ran out this morning and it looks like I'll be out for the weekend. Food legit doesn't seem appetizing, the act of eating a meal doesn't appeal to me, and it's a waste of calories if I don't enjoy it.
But, like, I gotta eat, because my weight is down again, my heartrate is in the 40s, and my doctor has threatened hospitalization if I don't put on some weight by next week.
Anyone relate?
[Help] what did I just do? Help me :(
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Fri Jul 27 16:12:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92gwla/what_did_i_just_do_help_me/
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So I was doing great for almost a month! Restricting really low, around 300 with a handful higher days and not even having an appetite. I resisted binge urges and felt so proud!
Even today, I was at the doctors where they took blood samples, which is my biggest issue - I always faint when they do this - but I didn't even had the fruit and nut bar I brought with me, just a little glucose when I got dizzy.
Then tonight, my friend asked me to hang out and have some wine. I said I'd rather get an ice cream (I was thinking about an low cal ice lolly) at the store instead of wine (because I tought I'd save some calories). But there, she didn't get ice cream with me but a drink, which kinda left me irritated, so I decided to treat myself to a 'proper' ice cream cornetto - only to realize later on it was fucking 380 calories! This made me so mad at myself, and when I got home, I binged. Big time. Mainly to punish myself, and also to 'get rid' of the food that I've been eyeing for some time..yeah, stupid binge logic!!
I ended up having like 3000 calories when I decided that I would be too sick to sleep like that, so 'I'd better eat eeeeveryything and then purge', which is what I did. What did I do after purging? Binged again.
Guys, i'm so sick. In disbelieve. So sad. his is making me suicidal, because I planned on making a big step increasing from 300 to 500 but I was too afraid because I really need to lose a lot of weight in the next 3 weeks, which can only be done with 300 calories and exersice - and now I BLEW IT ALL and set myself back a couple weeks. I was so excited to hit my first goal in three weeks so I could finally up my calories, and now I have to stick to this low cal misery for even longer AND deal with increased binge urges the next days. And I probably won't make it to uni tomorrow because all I want to do is hide and cry and not be seen so bloated by anyone :((
I can't move or breathe, I'm just in a kind of shock how I went from really perfect and proud to binging AGAIN. After reading brain over binge, I tought I was done with this and finally fought that demon :/
[Other] i done fucked up yāall
/u/crossdressingcarp
Created: Fri Jul 27 16:07:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92gv6e/i_done_fucked_up_yall/
---
promised a friend who is moving back to europe soon we would go to ihop for breakfast tomorrow morning to have a ~real~ american breakfast together one last time.
all fun and games until i realized i also promised another friend who just moved stateside we would go to the cheesecake factory tomorrow night because it is ~so american~.
played myself. no way iāll be able to have a deficit tomorrow. yiiiiiikes. i wish i could just enjy these outings without worrying about what i may or may not have to eat.
[Rant/Rave] Everything I ever do revolves around food
/u/neverbeenabeauty
Created: Fri Jul 27 15:50:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92gqd3/everything_i_ever_do_revolves_around_food/
---
I quit my summer job a week early because the new girl insisted I ate everytime she did so she wouldn't feel "bad", when I was previously able to eat omad because it was the night shift.
I'm about to start college this august, food science major.
I reject my friends when they want to hang out because they always want to eat something sweet or fattening.
I'm going on a trip to San Francisco next week to visit my sister and all I can think about is the places where I will eat and the fact that my sister is going to notice the weight I gained because I might have quit purging but I didnt quit binging.
I'm just so tired, I wish i could just lose weight healthly instead of following the same pattern for years.
[Rant/Rave] the anti binge gods spared me last night
/u/AgreeableReplacement [22Fš5'8š~100lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 27 15:49:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92gq4w/the_anti_binge_gods_spared_me_last_night/
---
yesterday i was going about my day, moderately depressed as per usual. suddenly the late afternoon slump hit me like a ton of bricks and i felt the lowest ive been in awhile. i kind of just collapsed in bed and stared at the wall for a long time, started feeling intense derealization and binge urges. i probably spent 5 hours browsing grocery websites fantasizing about food instead of going through my usual routine that distracts me until meal time. anyway eventually i broke down and got my SO to take me on a late night binge haul. i got chips and icecream, and by the time i was done i was still ravenous and dove into the fridge for more. well i guess the universe was trying to spare me because i burnt my oatmeal and broke the last few pieces of bread in the freezer trying to separate them. eventually i found a jar of pb in the pantry, the natural kind where the oil separates. i attempted to stir it up but suddenly became light headed and nauseous so i just gave up and passed out in bed. it was still a binge nonetheless but damn the damage could've been so much worse. god is real you guys lmao
[Help] My self esteem is in the toilet but instead of restricting, Iāve been binging (CW assault mention)
/u/Temperance_tantrum
Created: Fri Jul 27 15:47:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92gpka/my_self_esteem_is_in_the_toilet_but_instead_of/
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Iāve been feeling AWFUL about my body lately. Iāve been taking laxatives a lot and just overall hating myself. Iāve also been under a LOT of stress. I just had a Title IX school hearing against my abusive ex for sexual assault, and I failed my summer classāwhat should have been the last class of my college career. My job is physically demanding and places a lot of emphasis on the way my body looks. My boyfriend is driving me crazy.
But instead of this stress making me not want to eat, Iāve done nothing but binge like my life depends on it. I literally have been consuming a steady diet of fish sticks and pizza bitesāeating cold leftovers out of the fridge while those heat up. Iāve made two pans of brownies in the past week alone and itās been part of every meal and in between.
Itās stressing me out even more and making me feel worse, Iām afraid to leave my bed and catch my reflection in the mirror. Work is awful, I feel the need to take an excessive amount of laxatives the night before a shift.
What can I do to stop this? I used to be someone who stopped eating entirely under stress, but now it seems Iāve gotten into a weird cycle and I feel out of control but in the worst way I could have imagined for myself.
[Goal] Friend and I decided to get shit DONE
/u/BlurJAMD
Created: Fri Jul 27 15:45:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92gopk/friend_and_i_decided_to_get_shit_done/
---
My only difficulty with losing weight was that I was finding it hard to burn what I ate cus I was too anxious to go walking alone, so we're planning on going cycling and playing tennis, I'm so excited to start actually doing stuff and losing a fuckton of weight.
Our goals: get HOT AS FUCK
[Rant/Rave] someone tell me Iām not disgusting (or donāt)
/u/annoyingdoggy [154cm | 48kg | F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 15:37:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92gmks/someone_tell_me_im_not_disgusting_or_dont/
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got winedrunk with my mum (still very much am) and I, for some darn reason, get huge cravings. Ended up eating + drinking like a max of 1500cals but Iām currently restricting at half that amount and am also short alas I feel disgusting and like purging for the first time in three years.
[Rant/Rave] MFP says meal was more than menu said it was >:(
/u/kernalmustache [169cm ā | CW 100lbs | BMI 15.9 | SW 130lbs šø]
Created: Fri Jul 27 15:31:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92gkxw/mfp_says_meal_was_more_than_menu_said_it_was/
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So like I know that committing to recovery means I shouldn't care when I eat more than I planned, but it's kinda unrealistic to expect that change to just happen immediately so like, I'm mad. I typically try eat about 500 calories per meal, but today I had a really small breakfast and didn't eat lunch so I figured it was fine if I got fast food while I was out. The menu said this thing I ordered was about 1,200 calories, but then when I entered it into MyFitnessPal it ended up being over 1,600! I'm just really glad I actually went for diet pop instead of regular this time because that would just absolutely suck.
[Discussion] Do you feel like you look 2x fatter in photos than in the mirror?
/u/lw2295
Created: Fri Jul 27 15:30:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92gkmi/do_you_feel_like_you_look_2x_fatter_in_photos/
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[Rant/Rave] I just need to tell someone...
/u/IDontLikeLollipops
Created: Fri Jul 27 15:14:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92gfvq/i_just_need_to_tell_someone/
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I have no one to talk to. Two people know that I've been struggling, but one of them is struggling herself, and I don't want to trigger her, and the other cares too much, he is so worried already, and he barely knows anything. So I've had a lot of things I want to talk about piling up and you guys are the only ones who might understand so I'm just going to say them all here. Sorry if it's not organized, it's been a hard day.
My boyfriend and I have been having issues, and I truly believe they can all be fixed by me losing enough weight.
I was doing really well for a while, maintained my weight for a semester or so. Got into a pretty good rhythm for how much I can drink and all that... Then over the summer I have been dropping a lot, lots of restricting, a little purging. But the issue is I don't realize how much I restrict because I have absolutely no appetite most of the time. When I get anxious/depressed I lose my appetite completely, so I feel like I'm eating enough food even when I'm not. So I've still been drinking the same amount because I'm stupid. So I've been puking and blacking a lot. I did both last night. Then today during lunch my two friends were giving me shit. Talking about how I'm basically a freshman and can't handle my booze and all that and I just have to sit there and take it because I can't tell them.
I only eat one meal before dinner, it's usually lunch, but I occasionally have breakfast. When I have breakfast I usually just have a tea for lunch. So on Tuesday I was sitting with a few friends, drinking my tea, when all three of them decided to start talking shit about my meal. I'm just like "I ate breakfast, I'm not hungry" (which is actually true), and they were all freaking out about how crazy I am and what's wrong with me and a lot. I know they say it because they care, and they're probably worried about me but also like... I just wish they'd leave me be. My stomach is really small right now, I can't eat a lot even if I wanted to.
When I was 17 my ex would tell me I was fat (I was underweight), he would send me pictures of what my belly should look like and tell me I needed to work on my butt, and what he expected in the future. I would try really hard, and do my best to look like that. I did at least a hundred squats and a thousand belly exercises (variations on sit-ups) every night. It was never enough. I never turned into the shape he told me I was supposed to be. Last week his sister requested me on insta so I've been thinking about it a lot. I really hate myself for letting him still get to me five years later.
I saw the calorie counts for fries and tater tots and now I'm very sad.
No binge day 4: How are we all doing?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | CW: 60kg| GW: 58kg | UGW: 50kg | LW:56kg | 25F ]
Created: Fri Jul 27 15:02:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92gc95/no_binge_day_4_how_are_we_all_doing/
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Mine is a bit of a cheat because I planned to have this day of overeating today, but seeing as I consider a binge as a "loss of control" (like when I ate 3k kcal of granola a couple of weeks ago), today is okay in my book.
My day hasn't been so good, unfortunately.
How have yours been?
Question of the day: ideal job?
Need some motivation
/u/kladarling [4'11"| SW 201 |CW169 | GW 95 |23F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 15:01:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92gc43/need_some_motivation/
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I'm 13 hours into a fast. I usually get terrible anxiety over skipping usual meals, but today I managed to get past it. I'm not sure how. I've been downing caffeinated 0 cal drinks and water all day so I'm doing well for the time being, But I'm so afraid I'll fuck up later. Just hoping for some motivational words
What's your favorite alcohol that won't cause bloating?
/u/bmalaur [5'4" | 24F | HW: 127 | CW: 103 | LW: 85]
Created: Fri Jul 27 14:30:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92g2pt/whats_your_favorite_alcohol_that_wont_cause/
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Trying to think of the perfect combo of cheap + low cal that won't cause bloating? I just can't do wine anymore but liquor can sometimes be a bit much too quickly ; /
[Discussion] Food Costs
/u/takayl [5'11 | GW: 140 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 14:29:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92g2bu/food_costs/
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How much do y'all spend on food (for yourself) in a month? (also if you live somewhere really expensive I guess that would be relevant!) Just curious because I'm a big idiot who buys far-too-expensive diet foods and then binges on them anyway BUT soon I'll be living alone and I'm trying to put together a rough budget for food (and also get back to low restricting instead of just b/ping) but I would love to hear from you guys!! in my worst binge cycles it was.. so much... i probably maxed out around $300 a month (but it was only a month or two that it was THIS bad) but I've also never lived alone while restricting! most other websites/budgeting posts will have uhh different standards for the appropriate amount of food to buy for one person lmao
lil prayer to riced cauliflower lol
/u/SqueegeeOujia
Created: Fri Jul 27 14:05:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92fuzk/lil_prayer_to_riced_cauliflower_lol/
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Dear lil baby cauliflower rice and broccoli rice all smothered in salty water retaining soy sauce,
Thank you for making me feel like I just ate a goddamn watermelon whole
Thank you for your sacri-dice (lol) so that I could pretend I was eating rice when we all know I donāt eat rice because it makes me cry
Thank you for only being 80 calories for an entire bowl that I couldnāt finish Iām so deeply impressed and confused about how that works but itās fine youāre magic I get it
Thank you for not tasting like cauliflower or broccoli somehow
Thank you for coming in a steamable bag so I didnāt have to make you on the stovetop I am far too lazy to fw that
I will not forget you (because I wonāt be able to for like 12 hours because letās be honest Iām gassy as heck now)
I am forever in your debt because letās face it Iām always in calorie debt thank you in MFPās name I pray AMEN!!
[Rant/Rave] Watermelon
/u/askthedustinstead
Created: Fri Jul 27 13:52:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92fr71/watermelon/
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Wateemelon was my safe food, my haven! I ate it when I craved sweet rhings, I ate it as a meal, I ate it cause it was filling it's low cal and lots of water right?
Now I realise the ammount of carbs and I am afraid to eat it!
Good replacements?
If you could only eat one thing
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 106 | GW: idk | F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 13:37:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92fmx0/if_you_could_only_eat_one_thing/
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If you had to pick one food (recipes/ meals count too!) that was the only thing you could eat for the rest of your life, you can eat it as much or as little as you like, what would it be?
Mine would be plain oatmeal made with water and an egg. Topped with āhealthyā peanut butter, half a banana, a splash of unsweetened vanilla almond milk, and a lot of salt LOL got all my macros too BAM
PS Iām totally gonna come back and read this post one day and be like āwhy tf did I like weird ass food????ā
ate a slice of cake
/u/tonithepony
Created: Fri Jul 27 13:27:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92fjsx/ate_a_slice_of_cake/
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we do work birthdays for the women in my office (women's club basically) and i ate this piece of cake today for a womans birthday. i usually eat only 500 cal a day but the cake has to be about 300-500 cal for the little slice i had. it was so good but the guilt is killing me and its making me not want to eat the dinner i had planned (500 cal omad). i am very overweight but i have been eating ~500 a day since april 15th and lost about 40 lbs. i have always had disordered eating (binging, severe restricting)
[Discussion] DAE refuse to weigh anything, including oneself?
/u/EDthrowaway343
Created: Fri Jul 27 13:09:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92feao/dae_refuse_to_weigh_anything_including_oneself/
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Literally just knowing what something weighs, like food, or knowing how much I weigh, is, and I hate to use this word, triggering.
I just go through like ballparking things.
I keep reading here how obsessed everyone is with measuring and shit, but I literally threw out my kitchen and bathroom scales, not as a recovery tactic, but as a disordered one. Am I alone here?
How much difference do calorie limits make?
/u/raininginkyoto_ [5'3 | CW170 | GW115 | 19F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 13:07:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92fdw6/how_much_difference_do_calorie_limits_make/
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Like is the weight loss on 200cals a day that different to on 600 a day? I always see people on the EDfood sub eating like 800 a day but that seems high for me personally (even though I know you can't gain on that) and I just wonder how much like 300-400 calories difference actually changes anything, especially so far into a calorie deficit.
[Rant/Rave] My brother threw away my lunch
/u/anxiety-and-theatre
Created: Fri Jul 27 12:53:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92f9aq/my_brother_threw_away_my_lunch/
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I was fixing my lunch and I had sausages so I tell my brother āHey! Iām taking one of your tortillasā and he marches in there and said āNo youāre not!ā And tries to take the tortilla away so I lick it and he still tried to take it from me and when that didnāt work he threw away my sausages into a dirty trash can. Those sausages cost a $1.50 his tortilla probably cost him two cents. So I took the tortilla held it under sink water, peppered it to non consumption, then threw it away.
Then he yells at me and brings up a joke I made earlier even though I stressed it was a joke and he yelled at me saying it was nothing to joke about. THE JOKE WAS ABOUT HIS TOWN IN A VIDEO GAME.
Fashback to the joke
He said he made a castle then asked me if I liked it, I said āYes, it was very niceā then he said āyou say that like it suckedā and I said āWeeeelllllll I wouldnāt say it suckkked... kiddingā yes, I actually said ākiddingā, and he said āwere notā and I said āif I say Iām kidding it means āIām kidding, it was a joke, donāt get offendedā and then saying āwere notā back is like saying āfuck you, Iāll do what I wantā and he laughs. Apparently Iām not allowed to joke about video games
And THEN he decides to yell at me for playing his video game when he wanted to play all day. He never told me he wanted to play all day, if he would have mentioned he wanted to play I would have gave it to him within 5 minutes of him asking
Heās such a bitch.
So I texted Dad and told him that he threw away the sausages
Calories from digesting (veggies VS soup)
/u/askthedustinstead
Created: Fri Jul 27 12:50:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92f8kh/calories_from_digesting_veggies_vs_soup/
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Someone told.me your dogestive system is one one systems in your body that burns the most calories of it needs to work.
So my question now is, should I go for things that need a lot of digestive energy like raw veggies a couple of times a day, so I keep the system burning. Or 2 times soup, which is low in calories as well bit 'too easy' too digest.
Asking cause I am struggling between fasting as long as I can (without getting 'caught' at my job or eating 4 a 5 times too keep the system going
hello queens
/u/fentyways
Created: Fri Jul 27 12:48:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92f7yy/hello_queens/
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idk if anyone will read this ive been lurking (on another account) for a while just wanted to ask for anyone to send good vibes my way my life has been so so shit lately and it feels like everyone is giving up on me and i dont know what the fuck to do anyways love u all
I put cream in my coffee so I'll be too nauseous to eat dinner.
/u/VaguelyAmusedFairy [Height 5'5'| CW 138.6| GW 123 ]
Created: Fri Jul 27 12:39:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92f4wj/i_put_cream_in_my_coffee_so_ill_be_too_nauseous/
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What is wrong with me? I only drink my coffee black so any milk,cream or sugar makes me sick. I've been under my calorie budget for two days, and even if I ate the entirety of the dinner I'd be within the budget and I would've only eaten half.
Now I feel sick, and I don't understand why I did it.
Help with food portions and calorie counting?
/u/annoyedandgay
Created: Fri Jul 27 12:30:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92f287/help_with_food_portions_and_calorie_counting/
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How can I measure the amount of food (grams) I eat if I don't have like a scale or stuff like that? I need to know so I can keep track of my calories more accurately
[Help] Help. Broke a three day fast, then threw it all up involuntarily.
/u/killingtiimee
Created: Fri Jul 27 12:27:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92f1az/help_broke_a_three_day_fast_then_threw_it_all_up/
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Title pretty much explains it all.
I broke a three day fast (the hunger pangs were too much) with a pear and a peach. But ten minutes after I ate them, I got sick and lost it all. The hunger pangs are gone, but this has never happened before. Anyone know whatās going on?? Has this happened to you??
I thought this was interesting
/u/PM-ME-CORGIS
Created: Fri Jul 27 12:21:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ezm7/i_thought_this_was_interesting/
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https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/07/27/in-anorexia-brains-reward-response-to-taste-tied-to-high-anxiety/137331.html
[Help] 2 weeks under 250cal + 500cal exercise NO LOSS
/u/askthedustinstead
Created: Fri Jul 27 12:18:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92eyqp/2_weeks_under_250cal_500cal_exercise_no_loss/
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Hi everyone,
As said I am eating already under 600 for a mong while but the last two weeks I commited myself to stay under 250, some days I even got 100 oe 50. I also try to exeecise for at least 500. My TDEE is 1600.
I did not lose one gram!!!
Please can someone explain this for me?
(And no I am not constipated or something like that, that all works fine (don't know why))
I drink around 6-7 litres of water a day
Anyone? Feeling desperate
hey, thanks anxiety
/u/ahrahtnamas
Created: Fri Jul 27 12:13:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ewyc/hey_thanks_anxiety/
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Forced myself to eat some oatmeal for breakfast this morning. Then I got so anxious I ended up vomiting all over the bathroom counter because I couldnāt turn to the toilet fast enough. If only I could vomit that easily all the time š
Fasting Time to Lose 20lbs
/u/tinseltowngirl
Created: Fri Jul 27 12:02:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92etfj/fasting_time_to_lose_20lbs/
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Whatās the fastest time it took you to lose 20lbs. And what did you do? High or low restriction? Exercise, low carb? Etc.
[Help] What is wrong with me?
/u/FinickyFireflies [5'5 | Cw: 142lbs |BMI: 23.6 |LW: 140 |GW: 110 | Non-Binary]
Created: Fri Jul 27 11:47:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92eomm/what_is_wrong_with_me/
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I'm just sitting here fidgeting, debating over whether or not I should have the Ensure in front of me. I have been staring at it for a couple of minutes now. I know I should have it, there us nothing for me to have instead of this and I have been feeling faint all day. I know I should, but it is so hard. Like weirdly hard. Like impossibly hard for me to even take a bite.
I am legitimately scared.
[Other] Binge dreams
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1.5" | CW202.4 | BMI38 | -18 | 22M]
Created: Fri Jul 27 11:45:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92enxq/binge_dreams/
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I keep having hyperrealistic dreams about gorging on massive amounts of pizza, snacks, candy and the like. Waking up in a cold sweat and panicking, looking for packaging around my bed indicating that I might have binged somehow in my sleep. I begin to fear it. I almost lose sleep over it. But then I can calm down and realize my stomach is empty. Not bringing food to bed feels like a massive victory.
Fuck this life
/u/USSNerdinator [5'1" | 204lbs | 38.5 | 36lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 11:44:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92enof/fuck_this_life/
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Just got some very unexpected news about fiance's health and that just sent me spiraling into a massive panic attack. There's an 80% chance of recovery but it doesn't make that 20% any less terrifying. Well I didn't really want to eat anything today anyways. Trying to distract myself with other things so I don't spiral into some kind of self-harm.
[Help] Modeling shoot with cake.
/u/goosegurl [5' 6" | 125 | 20.2 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 11:29:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ej4s/modeling_shoot_with_cake/
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So I'm doing a modeling shoot with a new photographer next week, and since it's the day before my birthday the photographer wants to do a fun themed shoot compete with birthday cake. I'm totally down for it and I think it'll be a really cool look, but I am TERRIFIED that he's going to want me to actually eat the cake.
I feel like there's a huge stigma with anorexia and modeling and I'm really scared that he'll think negatively of me and not want to shoot again.
How should I handle this?? I'm thinking of maybe spitting it into the trash and saying that I don't want to end up eating too much cake just to do a shoot? But he also wants to go to dinner (it's a 2 day shoot) so I'm generally just really scared of the food situation and don't want to reveal my ed in that situation.
Do you think he'd care and not want to shoot with an anorexic model? I'm not that skinny and don't "look anorexic" so maybe it'll be okay?
Pizza calories?
/u/agent_philcoulson [27F 5'4" | CW: 133 | GW: 120 | UGW: 115]
Created: Fri Jul 27 11:29:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92eiv3/pizza_calories/
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I LOVE going to the pizza place by my job and getting 2 slices of plain. I go out of my way to budget it into my day. MFP says 1 slice is 285 calories.
But the other day my brother had to be an ass and SWEAR that there are 400 calories in a slice. Now I want to die. Please tell me he's wrong.
[Rant/Rave] Guy Iām talking to didnāt show up to my birthday party.
/u/alovelytime
Created: Fri Jul 27 10:55:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92e8cc/guy_im_talking_to_didnt_show_up_to_my_birthday/
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To be fair, he has been pulling away a lot recently. I invited him and his best friend and he asked where and when it was then never responded.
I spent majority of the party hoping he would walk through the front door. After finally realizing he probably wasnāt going to show, I went into self destruct mode. I drank so much alcohol, smoked weed, and did a couple lines of coke.
Itās the next day now and I already know this whole situation is going to send me into a huge restriction phase. (Last time I went through an intense B/P episode) I tend to do that when the self hate surfaces. Right now I canāt even seem to blame him but instead focus it on myself. Maybe if i was thinner he would want me.
I think Iām done with guys and dating for now, I canāt keep doing this to myself because I end up destroying my own body every time it doesnāt work out.
Best surface to weigh yourself on?
/u/DenverTheLastDinosau
Created: Fri Jul 27 10:48:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92e5y7/best_surface_to_weigh_yourself_on/
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Sorry if this breaks rule 1, please let me know but I don't think it does?
My scales are giving wildly different readings and I'm trying to work out where to weigh myself. I don't have amazing scales, but they're not *awful* either. In my old house I had hard wood floors and it was pretty consistent, now I live in a house which is half carpet / half weird plastic fake tile flooring. I avoid the carpet and go for the tile-esque rooms but even then the reading can change by up to 20lbs depending on where I am in the room! Should I take my scales on to the pavement in the garden? I don't want to look suspicious around my housemates, but I'd do it when they're out if it gives me an accurate reading.
Thank you, and again please let me know if this breaks rule 1, I'm sorry if it does but I don't think it does, it's more asking for help of a new issue.
[Discussion] Another Starbucks question
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 10:29:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92e05p/another_starbucks_question/
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How do you order your low cal drinks without being a total pain in the ass for the barista? Iāve been craving a Frappuccino for weeks but the calorie count as-is feels too high for me, but at the same time the sort of edits that (for example) The Macro Barista makes make me waaaaay too anxious because I feel like Iām wasting the baristaās time and theyāll totally know I have a problem.
[Rant/Rave] Being both frugal and riddled with ED thoughts at the grocery store
/u/PhoneWalletSanity [156cm/5'1.5| 100 lbs| 19.4| 18F| Exploring Recovery]
Created: Fri Jul 27 10:25:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92dywh/being_both_frugal_and_riddled_with_ed_thoughts_at/
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I had half an hour to kill in between getting my passport filled out and having to leave for work so I popped in to a Asian grocery store under the pretext of getting loquats (delicious South Asian fruit 10/10 would reccomend). Ofc, they didn't have them so I ended up wandering around looking for a low cal snack for work despite having already eaten "lunch" at 10:00.
And lo, all the low cal stuff was $5 CAD + (I currently have under $30 in my chequing and just had to spend $180 on credit for my passport) and all the <$1 stuff was at least 150 cals.
So I spent that entire half hour teetering on the edge of a panic attack because I really wanted to reward myself for getting errands done but also not wanting to be broke and also not wanting to waste calories.
Needless to say, I'm now on the way to work empty-handed and exhausted from that fiasco. Guys, why am I like this??
Red Bracelet
/u/nope707
Created: Fri Jul 27 10:13:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92dvch/red_bracelet/
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Let's š bringš the š red š bracelet š back š
But honestly I would be happy if I found someone irl who understood and whom I could talk to. It's also a nice nostalgic idea to remind ourselves that we're not alone imo
In a shocking turn of events, moving back home is pretty great (for now)
/u/ashdust
Created: Fri Jul 27 10:11:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92dush/in_a_shocking_turn_of_events_moving_back_home_is/
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I've moved back in with my parents after being at uni, just for 3 weeks until I can move into my new place, but as much as I was dreading coming back here... It's kind of excellent food-wise. The closest place I can buy any convenience food is a hilly 50 minute cycle round-trip, so if that happens it's justified by the calories burned. My parents only eat 'real', pretty healthy + quality food (and not in huge quantities), and there's no 'extra' food in the house (other than the ingredients for meals). Plus I can't smoke all the time and then binge, like I used to do, but I can go for a walk and cycle and a run every day and they think that's great. And it's been sunny lately so after these three weeks I will be disappointed if I'm not noticeably thinner/tanner.
[Discussion] Your favourite low-cal meals?
/u/moonxwitch
Created: Fri Jul 27 10:07:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92dtk9/your_favourite_lowcal_meals/
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We all know Halo Top and apples, but what are your other favourite low calorie meal ideas?
My favourite would probably be scrambled tofu. The tofu I get is 192 for the entire cube (180g) and then I use a non-stick pan and just āfryā the tofu using water, so I donāt add any oil at all. I just add some spices, usually a whole tomato and spring onions. It has slightly more than 200 calories and a lot of protein, so itās super filling for such a low āpriceā. š«
Do you feel comfort feeling your own bones
/u/OTSonny
Created: Fri Jul 27 09:48:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92dnon/do_you_feel_comfort_feeling_your_own_bones/
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I know that feeling your own bones or seeing them means progress so obviously youād be happy (I think) I would at least
What I mean is, whenever I get really stressed or sad I just feel my collarbones or my hip bones. I still have a long way to go before I see them prominently but if I lay down my ribs and hips and collar bones all just stick out and knowing that is...refreshing?
Does anyone have a similar feeling?
[Rant/Rave] Extreme guilt over my past shittiness
/u/halostop [19.6 | Recoveryish | 23F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 09:25:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92dggy/extreme_guilt_over_my_past_shittiness/
---
I've never shared this with anyone. I feel so much shame, but I need to let it go.
When I was younger and living with my older sister, I would police my sister's food consumption. Not constantly, but too much.
I would question her when she was eating for pleasure and not out of hunger. I would give her a look when she took seconds. I made comments when she heaped cream cheese onto her bagel, like "wow, got enough there?"
Of course it was hypocritical. I was bingeing and purging. I was out of control with my overeating. But she was overweight and I was skinny. Being fat was my biggest fear. If I could channel my insecurities onto her, it made me feel better about myself. We are so similar that I began to hate her, because I hated myself.
I think my sister is kick-ass, super smart and talented, hilarious. She's one of my best friends now.
And it fucking kills me that I treated her like this.
[Discussion] Crazy ED Goals
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Fri Jul 27 09:09:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92dbop/crazy_ed_goals/
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So recently ive been thinking about my ED "goals". I would love to hear yours!
**~~Have people concerned about my eating habits~~**
**Stopping my period**
**Fainting at least once**
[Other] Think I just spotted one of us at Tesco
/u/supersecretobsession [178cm | CW: 58.8kg | BMI: 18.08(new)/18.56(old) | GW: ??? | 20F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 09:02:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92d9c8/think_i_just_spotted_one_of_us_at_tesco/
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It was kind of surreal. I was shopping at Tesco when I noticed this really thin girl in the yogurt aisle. She was there when I just walked in, and stayed there checking all the labels on different yogurts for about 5 minutes afterwards. I realised that this is how I must have looked when used to do this (except I wasnāt as skinny fml). And to be honest the only reason I donāt donāt this anymore is because I have basically memorised the calorie content of everything.
Just a weird moment of realisation that I wanted to share.
Should I start a diet?
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Fri Jul 27 08:19:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92cwvv/should_i_start_a_diet/
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So my goal right now is to restrict to 500 calories (but barely hitting 300 because I'm impatient and want to lose faster) until GW1, then up to 700 until GW2, then up slowly until maintenance.
However, I feel like every day is the same, I eat the same and just wait for the day to end.
I really miss being on a specific 'diet', you know, those ana-tumblr-butterfly ones, because it makes me feel like I'm achieving something!
If I had started the ABC diet some weeks ago, I would have come pretty far by now, so I'm thinking about doing that because I always wanted to finish it.
But I also want to eat up to 500 calories and up my calories soon..
What should I do? It's just mainly about the feeling of 'doing something' and have a stricter calorie goal, because I feel like 500 calories give me too much of a leeway :(
Anyone else become nicer when they restrict?
/u/jayjayie
Created: Fri Jul 27 08:15:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92cvjc/anyone_else_become_nicer_when_they_restrict/
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When I'm in a binge cycle I become grumpy, miserable, and a pain in the ass to be around. When I restrict I'm much happier and nicer. I feel really powerful and have more will to live and do shit. Anyone else??
I knew that number was too low!
/u/Call_me_Cassius [5'5" | CW: š | GW: 98lb | -30lb | M21]
Created: Fri Jul 27 08:06:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ct24/i_knew_that_number_was_too_low/
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My sister brought home pizza last night. I wasn't gonna eat it, I wasn't gonna eat it, I wasn't gonna eat it... and then I weighed in this morning at a new goal and thought "fuck it, it's one slice of pizza." If it were a reasonable calorie amount, of course. I found the place's website and they had a nutrition calculator, so I checked the calories for one slice of the pizza we had... 53 calories? Holy fuck. That seemed really low to me, but I have actually never checked the calories on pizza before (I don't really eat it, certainly not while I'm restricting), and people always talk about having two or three slices of pizza, and this pizza was new york style so it didn't have as much crust as I'm used to, and I got the info from the company's website so why would it be wrong! So, fool that I am, I said "yeah, I guess that makes sense" and ate a slice.
Well, then I went to log it in to MFP, and it came up as 357. "That can't be right," I thought. "The website said 53, and who the fuck would eat a slice of pizza, let alone multiple slices of pizza, for 357 calories? Pizza's not even that good!" But I decided to look around. And sure enough, everywhere that has a calorie count for this pizza besides the company website is 357-393 for a slice.
Is this a joke? A sick, cruel joke that the universe is playing on me? You're telling me this pizza has seven or even eight times as many calories as I thought it did? Are you trying to kill me, God? I wouldn't have eaten it for 100 calories, let alone 400!
It's days like this I wish I still had a gag reflex. I can't even make myself throw up drinking salt water. Ipecac syrup is like impossible to find now. What am I supposed to do? I was going to allow myself 500 today since I reached a goal and I've been pretty fatigued, but now I'm at 617, so I guess it's gonna be a fast weekend. Fuck you, pizza. I'll never eat pizza again. You weren't even good. You weren't even really worth the 53 I thought you were.
And pizza is so carby and salty I'm probably gonna gain a ton of water weight and weigh in back above my goal tomorrow. This was a horrible decision. This is a horrible day. And it's only 10am! What else am I going to fuck up in the next 12 hours?
drinking alcohol while fasting
/u/fiascofiesta [5'7" | 131.4 | 20.51 | 23F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 07:58:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92cqij/drinking_alcohol_while_fasting/
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if youāre fasting, whatās your drink of choice?
how do you avoid getting sick?
what do you do/how do you react when someone buys you a beer or whatever?
yesterday i ended up out with friends after about a 30 hour fast, and i was casually drinking my double vodka and soda with lime but then my friends started ordering these awful sugary shots with watermelon pucker and idk i feel bad turning down free alcohol because it makes me feel like a party pooper but i donāt like sugary drinks and i think mixed drinks make me sick on an empty stomach? i got SO sick last night and i WAS NOT drunk.
i havenāt figured it out yet, this doesnāt happen all the time but it happens often enough that iām embarrassed my friends might think i canāt hold my liquor. i knooooow im always fine when i drink beer and i love beer but i might as well eat a couple loaves of bread.
[Rant/Rave] A letter to myself.
/u/whereismaimind
Created: Fri Jul 27 07:43:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92cmhq/a_letter_to_myself/
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Dear future me,
The binges are never worth it. The guilt you feel will tear you apart. The purging is never worth it. The stomach acid will burn your throat.
When you finish eating that food that you will inevitably cave in for, please remember this. The binges are never worth it. You will feel guilt, and you will feel shame. Sometimes you will want to purge, and sometimes you will go through with it.
Remember how it feels to be sitting there after gorging on that food, the sickening feeling in your stomach. The shame in your heart. The regret.
Remember the regret.
Remember how it feels to be hunched over the toilet. The place where yourself and others excrete piss and fecal matter into.
Remember how it feels to shove your fingers, or tooth brush, down your throat. The pain it causes in your esophagus. The dry heaving, and the tightening in your chest. The burning in your nose. The mucus and vomit on your face and on your clothes.
Remember it.
You know how good it feels to say no to binges. To beat your inner monster at its own game. You know how good it feels to step on that scale and see it move down.
Just say no.
You know how good it feels when you look in the mirror and notice the small changes. The way it feels when you notice your clothes are getting too big.
Just say no.
I know you oscillate between restriction and binge/purge. But it doesnāt have to be this way. Youāre stronger than that. Youāre stronger than all of this. Remember your goals. You donāt need to binge. You donāt need to purge.
Just remember, and just say no.
How to end a binge cycle
/u/sadfatho [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Fri Jul 27 07:06:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92ccm7/how_to_end_a_binge_cycle/
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So I just moved cities a month ago, and my new location is well known for its great local restaurants. I was so stressed about my move and finding a new job and stuff that I've just been binging at these restaurants ENDLESSLY. Nothing can quench how hungry I am for salty, greasy food. I just checked the scale, and I've gained 12 lbs this month since I moved here. I'm mortified. How do I end this crazy cycle of endless binging??
[Goal] I finally hit 130!! I think?
/u/foodlion12
Created: Fri Jul 27 06:50:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92c8b8/i_finally_hit_130_i_think/
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Scale said 130 this morning. Its analog so I double checked with some 10 lb weights and it seems accurate but it's hard to trust. This time one year ago I was 170 after having a baby so I'm pretty happy with how far I've come. My UGW is still 125 so I'm close. Just wanted to share!
[Other] I need adult friends who get my selfish struggles
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 26F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 06:42:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92c6gn/i_need_adult_friends_who_get_my_selfish_struggles/
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Iām 26 yo and I feel like I canāt really talk to just anyone about purging and worrying about teeth and being super introverted and stuff
I feel like almost everyone in my age group has a healthy mindset approach about weight loss because duh weight loss should be done the right way
I just feel cornered and alone. Are there any mid 20 year olds who have an ED and can just send me good friend vibes lol
Can we have like a chat room or something
This shit gets lonely fast especially when youāre supposedly living the time of your youth lol more like Iām missing out on life yall
[Rant/Rave] Guess I'm just disgusting at every size
/u/xxnevi [5'2 | CW: 113 | GW: 98 | BMI: 20.67 | -60 | 30F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 06:41:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92c5yg/guess_im_just_disgusting_at_every_size/
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It's me again. Back to rant about the bf.
Lots of little shit this week. But the kicker is that he doesn't find me attractive and apparently never has.
We got into this conversation about how I'm losing "so much" weight. O.. kay. So he starts talking about preferences, and how he only really likes girls that have always been skinny, because if they were once overweight, they have that "weird skin overhang thing happening."
"... But don't get fat again, I really don't like that... "
Been choking back tears all week.
Like, thanks for that. In my mind, it equates to: "omg you're a nasty human being whether you're thin or fat and you can't do anything to help it so happiness is not an option for you."
Oh, and also I've gained two pounds since last weekend while binging on stupid shit because I wanted to prove to him I can.
And every time I try to leave the house I get accused of cheating on him. Yes, honey, I'm out fucking around on you that's why literally all of my time out of the house is accounted for in my walk tracking app. š
I've been racking my brain all night looking for an option to leave, but that's easier said than done when you've got a toddler (not his, thank god) relying on you to make the right decisions. Oh, and due to severe social anxiety, I have no friends.
Realizing how deep this post got before even submitting it so if it needs deleted, mods, feel free. Maybe I'll delete it myself later, idk.
[Discussion] DAE hide just how much they know about nutrition /EDs/weight loss to avoid suspicion?
/u/markexclamationmark
Created: Fri Jul 27 06:38:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92c58j/dae_hide_just_how_much_they_know_about_nutrition/
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Even when I've lost weight and people ask what I've been doing I just go "i dunno hahah i hadn't really noticed. Maybe exam stress? :)"
It has gotten hard for me lately because my sister is trying to lose some weight (major trigger) and wants to talk with me about it. She knows fuck-all about weight loss and nutrition. Yesterday she asked me if peanut butter was healthy lol. And she will brag about fitting into a size Small and I just want to give her a big fat lecture on vanity sizing.
Another time my friends were having a confession session about their past eating disorder behaviours, and I went fully mute for about 15 minutes. Thankfully I think they assumed I was quiet because I couldn't relate.
Tell me about times you've played dumb :)
CCleaner Pro 5.45.6611 Crack Full Version + License Key Lifetime Free Here
/u/aryan167
Created: Fri Jul 27 06:33:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92c3xu/ccleaner_pro_5456611_crack_full_version_license/
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http://crackfullreal.com/ccleaner-pro-5-45-6611-crack-full-version/
[Rant/Rave] I puked involuntarily for the first time in years.
/u/parthenopenapoli
Created: Fri Jul 27 06:28:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92c2rm/i_puked_involuntarily_for_the_first_time_in_years/
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It was a confusing and horrifying experience.
Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! July 27, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 27 06:12:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92bz5z/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_july/
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This is the weekly picture thread for July 27, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 27, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 27 06:12:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92bz51/daily_food_diary_july_27_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for July 27, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I don't make sense and I hate myself
/u/Bookeisha
Created: Fri Jul 27 06:01:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92bwfi/i_dont_make_sense_and_i_hate_myself/
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And I'll probably delete this post once the embarrassment from opening up kicks in. Have a nice day y'all ā
[Help] Triggering a whoosh
/u/iluvmnms [163cm | CW: 52kg | BMI: 19.6 | GW: 48kg| UGW: 44kg | 18F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 05:58:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92bvmx/triggering_a_whoosh/
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I've been keeping my daily caloric intake around 500-700 recently and nearly ate around 1300 calories today (but exercised so net cals are about 900) and am super worried about bloating or gaining weight. Are these enough calories to trigger a whoosh or will they only make me gain water weight?
[Help] Just found out I'm super anaemic - best supplement?
/u/HappierHungry [ā | 5'10Ā½" | BMI: 17 | CW: 55.5kg | GW: 50kg |]
Created: Fri Jul 27 05:53:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92buqz/just_found_out_im_super_anaemic_best_supplement/
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Haha yeah... oops? My bad.
I'm currently taking an iron + vitamin C tablet but it upsets my gut - I end up with diarrhoea and bad cramping for at least 5hrs ā¹ļø
What supplements/types of supplements do you recommend? With vitamin C if possible but I'm willing to supplement separately if the iron is gentler.
I don't think I'd be able to eat enough natural sources of iron to suffice, but any food/recipe suggestions would also be much appreciated!
Extra points for Australian-based suggestions š
Thank you!
(Super Anaemic is my superhero name btw.)
Any way to make shirataki noodles not have the texture of rubber bands?
/u/relapseandrecovery
Created: Fri Jul 27 05:43:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92bsky/any_way_to_make_shirataki_noodles_not_have_the/
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Title says it. I really want to love these guys but after 2 failed attempts, I need something to make the 3rd time a charm
[Discussion] Does anyone else here abuse enemas?
/u/ForgottenLoginAgain
Created: Fri Jul 27 05:17:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92bmv0/does_anyone_else_here_abuse_enemas/
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Just curious because I've never met another person with an ED that does it as well
[Rant/Rave] all hail mint chocolate quest bars
/u/pistachiocreams [63"| 105.5 | -18 | F :pupper:]
Created: Fri Jul 27 05:15:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92bmg0/all_hail_mint_chocolate_quest_bars/
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so after all the hype iāve heard with quest bars, a couple of weeks ago i decided to go the store and buy one of almost every flavor they had. i was SO excited, but as iāve been eating them over the few weeks iāve been getting more and more disappointed :,(. blueberry muffin? decent. cinnamon roll? horrible lmao. cookies n cream? did not live up to the hype. i denounced quest bars yesterday morning and told my mom i was done with them. i still, however, have like 5 left and decided to eat the mint chocolate one this morning. and OMG you guys....it was amazing. i hadnāt had any before this with chocolate base (vs the fake, artificial vanilla flavor a lot of the others have) and it has changed my life. perhaps there is hope for quest bars after all <3
p.s. speaking of protein, also tried a pure protein strawberry cream shake yesterday. would NOT recommend although the macros are great
Laxative abuse
/u/thin_is_happiness
Created: Fri Jul 27 05:06:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92bkr4/laxative_abuse/
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Any idea how to reduce laxative bloating? And how to calculate my Ā«Ā realĀ Ā» (not dehydrated) weight? Iāve definitely gained, but I canāt be sure how much because of the abuse.
[Help] Things are pretty bad
/u/meineschatzi [165cm | CW: 58kg | BMI: 21.5 | GW: 52kg | 25F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 04:34:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92behe/things_are_pretty_bad/
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Iāve got all my prescription medication here (not nearly enough to feel comfortable), a 100 pack of paracetamol, and a 96 pack of ibuprofen.
I donāt know if Iām going to do anything or not. I think I need people to talk me down. Iām almost a bottle of wine down. Iāve got the scissors here ready to cut myself - thatād be the ideal situation, I just slice myself up a bit and then wake up tomorrow morning a bit hungover.
I just donāt trust myself.
[Other] Relapsed earlier than I thought...
/u/mittensmel
Created: Fri Jul 27 04:34:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92bego/relapsed_earlier_than_i_thought/
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So I thought I had relapsed recently, like two or so months ago. I went through mfp today and nope! Looks like I started restricting again in 2015!!! But I had been able to not lose too quick because I binged as well. Now I haven't binged for five weeks and it's definitely affecting me more.
Also, my SO is pretty triggering. I said I had been exercising too much, and he said nah you've been ok. And he's not worried if I skip meals.
[Tip] Fighting insomnia with tea (I swear)
/u/Varthaxx
Created: Fri Jul 27 04:23:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92bc8o/fighting_insomnia_with_tea_i_swear/
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Ok, maybe my situation is kind of different because I used to drink a LOT of coffee (because of insomnia btw).
But as it got harder to go to sleep and make me drink more of coffee, I broke this circle
I also know that not everybody is found of tea, but for me it really worked so I just wanted to share in case it could help anybody
Just in case, I'm not a tea specialist, so I just give you information, feel free to have an other opinion about it
There are not just Green or Black, there are plenty of different tea depending on the place, the season it was harvest and the variety
For example (from more cafeine to less):
**Black tea** \- More used on morning
**Green tea** \- Detox one (can hurt your kidneys if you drink too much of it)
**Dark tea (Pu erh)** \- Mostly chineese, helps with **digest**,** stomach ach**e and** hangover**s
**White tea** \- (rare, so it can be expensive)
**OOlong** \- China or Thailand, you can drink it all day
**Rooibos** \- South africa, good for skin and for sleep (**no cafeine inside**)
I replaced my morning coffees with black tea, the "after-lunch" one with dark tea. I drink rooibos on the invening.
So now I drink more water, I still enjoy coffee sometimes, and I can sleep 7-8h per night (sometimes less tbh but only if I'm really stressed)
I hope this can help someone
Take care
[Discussion] What should I ask my parents to bring me back from Canada ?
/u/Arkhamgel [Height | 173| 27.7 | +22 | Male]
Created: Fri Jul 27 04:18:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92bbc7/what_should_i_ask_my_parents_to_bring_me_back/
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I live in France and for the holidays, my parents are spending 3 weeks in Quebec. I already plan to ask them to bring me a couple boxes of Walmart pink lemonade sugar-free drink mix, sugar-free jell-o, tea from David's tea and a big-ass pack of tums. Do you have any idea what I might regret to have forgotten ?
So angry with myself
/u/Perash
Created: Fri Jul 27 04:16:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92bb1o/so_angry_with_myself/
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I've just eaten about 250g of chocolate and drunk a bottle of red wine. All my fault for giving into craving and I feel like a complete asshole and pig. Want to vomit but never find that easy to do. Shit I'm angry with myself. That's a month's worth of good eating and calorie control down the toilet in one shitty evening. Arrrrrgggghhhh. How am I ever going to meet my goal weight for July. What a pig.
[Discussion] Does anyone else here believe in starvation mode ?
/u/borris000 [5'5" | CW: 101.4 | BMI: 17.1]
Created: Fri Jul 27 03:55:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92b6uq/does_anyone_else_here_believe_in_starvation_mode/
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I talked with my dietitian and she convinced me. The TL;DR of it was not eating adequetly and frequently can make you prone to binging and if said binge is above your tdee it can lead to weigbt gain.
[Intro] A low - but not a new one.
/u/Mrsoberst
Created: Fri Jul 27 03:04:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92axo3/a_low_but_not_a_new_one/
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Tonight I binged and then on my way home I saw that my house lights were on, meaning my flatmates were home. So I went and purged in the field across the road.
A low point, but not the worst way Iāve purged in my life. Though the worst in a while.
I donāt know what happened, Iāve been restricting really well the last 3 weeks - not even drastic and no fasting at all. And then yesterday it was like a switch flipped and now I constantly feel like bingeing.
Anyway, lying in bed at 9pm on a Friday and promising myself that Iām done with binges and itās back to restricting.. a promise Iāve made a thousand times. Well, hereās hoping it sticks, even if itās just for a few more weeks. A binge once a month is better than every day.
Tomorrow is a new day!
Obscure foods & calorie counting
/u/BIueJayWay [5"3| CW:107 |GW: 102 |BMI:19 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 02:57:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92awgo/obscure_foods_calorie_counting/
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How do I calculate the calories of culture specific foods? I went to an Iraqi restaurant yesterday, for example, and have no idea how many calories are in those rice stuffed foods, stuffed onions/grape leaves/ squash.. online, I've gotten results ranging from 200 to freaking 700!! What the hell?
Or Mexican food! (not talking taco bell here haha) How many calories are in an actual burrito or tostada.. the type of cheese, quantity of cheese, type of bread, amount of meat.. varies so much! it's impossible to calorie count, I always estimate at like 600 "just to be sure".
I try to eat fruits/cornflakes/rice/toast/milk because I *know* how many calories are in those thigh for sure. With ethnic cuisine it's impossible unless you're the one cooking it.. I feel embarrassed asking my grandma how much of everything she's putting in food, and she measures by eye anyway so it's a lost cause.
^She's ^an ^amazing ^cook ^though ^like.. ^damn ^I ^love ^her
Any tips?
[Rant/Rave] So my life is a mess and Iām addicted to being destructive
/u/girlinapanic [163cm | 54.4kg | 20.5 bmi | 3rdGW 49.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 02:53:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92avqv/so_my_life_is_a_mess_and_im_addicted_to_being/
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Iām pretty much living 4-5 days water fasting, half a greasy burger or something so I can have a drinking sesh and then back to fasting. Which is fine, itās easy. Not healthy.
Iām smoking again, just cos itās bad for me.
Iām out at least once a week drinking til all hours with random people I meet.
3 weeks ago I was raped. Like in the ER, 2.5 weeks to heal kinda deal.
Iām married and have 4 kids. My husband knows about none of this except going out, which heās ok with cos itās not his thing.
My workmates are commenting on my weight.
I have no one to talk to.
Iām a mess.
For the first time ever in my entire life, I'm going to have to buy smaller underwear.
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 269.5 | Goal: 250 | 40.9 | 30 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 27 02:51:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92avby/for_the_first_time_ever_in_my_entire_life_im/
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[Discussion] One week till school ball... dress fitting on Tuesday.
/u/dreamedotcom
Created: Fri Jul 27 02:17:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92apkj/one_week_till_school_ball_dress_fitting_on_tuesday/
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I binged today. About 3000 calories when I was aiming for 500. Hate myself. Scare myself because I have unlocked hands free purging. I want to fast for the weekend but I find it so hard just to get through the first day. So hard. And Iām seeing my boyfriend tomorrow for the first time in a week and Iām going to be bloated and fat
I just want to be normal. To be thin and not fluctuating weight every fucking week. I am sad and depressed and donāt know how I am going to get through this fast. And also just took a bunch of lax and spend all my money now and broke.
Sorry just down.
[Other] new workout!
/u/sweaterbug
Created: Fri Jul 27 01:21:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92afog/new_workout/
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hi! this isn't a sponsored msg or anything haha but the app "7 Minute Workouts" has some really good ones! i just did the leg workout in my backyard as the sun set, and it was so peaceful and lovely. i don't usually enjoy exercise at all, but i feel real nice abt it!
ps thank u for all the lovely comments on my "should i get a scale?" post ā¤ i did end up getting a set haha, i know it probably won't do me good but when i saw it in the store i couldn't help myself. ($9 as well - thanks kmart) i weighed myself and it was a little more than i thought - i weigh 57 kgs. ah well, we all start somewhere! hope u guys had a nice day :)
[Discussion] I gained back 5 kilogram! How do I get toned while maintaining?
/u/nothingbutbraindump
Created: Fri Jul 27 00:36:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92a6pl/i_gained_back_5_kilogram_how_do_i_get_toned_while/
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Iām super proud of myself. Itās been a roller coaster ride the past year from 50 to 60 kg to 37 kg. Iām currently at 42 kg and am super proud of myself. I still have a thigh gap but am working to be toned rather than just plain skinny. I think Iāll just gain 2 more and maintain at that weight. How do I build up muscles and stay skinny without hurting myself?
[Rant/Rave] ranting again. I hate being alive.
/u/geisteslos
Created: Fri Jul 27 00:34:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92a6eu/ranting_again_i_hate_being_alive/
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I'm in the bathroom having half a panic attack.
I was sick. Like really sick. Incredibly ill close to being hospitalized. Because of this, I thought, hey. Eat more. Your body needs it.
I am supposed to be in recovery because I want my life back because my body and I both don't need this eating disorder, or so I thought.
The fuck. I did not need these calories at all.
I ate like a normal person for three days, one day I went over because I was at a friend's and I ate some chocolate. The two other days, I had happy, carefree 1700 calories. (for my age, the minimum is supposed to be 1800 according to doctors. Definetely not. If it were, why do I gain on it?)
Before these days, I was 56kgs. I was so happy about this. It is a goal number for me, 56 is so fucking great. Today I stepped on the scale.
58.6 kgs. I hate myself. My body did not need these nutrients. It just gained fat. I fucking turned fat. I can't describe how much I hate myself right now for ruining this number.
I'm fit enough to fly now, sure. But I gained weight, and for some reason, that's more devastating than not being to walk and not being able to attend social events for me? How fucking pathetic is this.
[Rant/Rave] Iāve never hated my body as much as I have tonight
/u/mvemjsun00
Created: Fri Jul 27 00:14:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92a2nj/ive_never_hated_my_body_as_much_as_i_have_tonight/
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I hate myself so much I keep taking pictures of my fat bloated body and I see this tattoo I have on my hip that I fucking hate itās so goddamn ugly and fucked up. Fuck my skin and my ugly stomach and fat ass and thighs. Fuck my short, fat ugly neck and my broad shoulders. My waist is so goddamn wide now and the pooch on my belly is growing everyday. I miss being thin. I want it back so bad. I feel like Iām suffocating under my fat I want it fucking gone. Why the fuck did I do this to myself.
I threw out the food in my house that was making me anxious and I feel a little better but I really need to go to sleep and take a shit and not feel so utter crap about my weight.
[Other] Small win!
/u/ahrahtnamas
Created: Thu Jul 26 23:46:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/929wna/small_win/
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Itās almost 2am and I couldnāt sleep because my stomach wouldnāt shush. I was so hungry. Nighttime is always the worst for me when it comes to food, I tend to binge. Welp, I headed to the kitchen and was craving a cupcake. Took one out of the box, stared at it for a good 5 minutes, threw it back in the cupboard and ate some fresh pineapple instead. Saved myself some calories and the pineapple was more filling. Maybe now I can sleep! š
[Rant/Rave] Treatment makes me want to die: update
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 115 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 23:44:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/929w3t/treatment_makes_me_want_to_die_update/
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Idk if Iām the only one having such an awful experience with treatment, pls tell me how your experience was...
Well I was in residential for like 4 months and now Iām at php and they want to keep me for another 3 months and ahhhhh. This place Iām at is an actual shithole. From the mold in the bathroom to the disgusting pre processed chicken and moldy bread.
All the staff are actual souless robots who are so fucking manipulative itās nauseating. There are no punishments, here are only ānatural consequencesā. Like being given a few ounces of ensure plus for making a funny noise at the table. WHAT THE FUCK!?!
Yup. 100+ calories is a natural punishment for having fun. Ahem I mean consequence.
Like yeah I get here has to be some incentive to eat your food, but if you donāt, they give you a 3 hour timeout to sulk and hate yourself and they donāt let you go outside for a couple days.
When I was in there I knew 2 other patients who were so depressed they attempted suicide, and I almost did too. Honestly Iām just ranting because I feel like this place should be shut down. Itās got tons of health code violations and itās cruel. When I was there I got so depressed during that timeout shit and I scratched myself... then they shamed me for it and wouldnāt let me go outside for a whole week.
Iām in the hospital right now because I needed surgery and it feels like a fucking vacation... but this wonāt last too much longer because I think my mom is going to get me out or transfer me or something very soon after sheās seen how they really are.
[Help] I don't know what I weight!!
/u/arteww
Created: Thu Jul 26 23:37:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/929up7/i_dont_know_what_i_weight/
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My scale shows different numbers in different parts of my apartment. This morning my weight has, according to the scale, varied from 63,5 kgs to 66,3 kgs. It even varies in different parts of the same room. I've tried hard surfaces and softer ones and it doesn't seem to make any difference.
I'm going crazy. Do I just smash this scale to a wall and get a new on? Would a new battery do the trick? Or do I just have to live without knowing my exact weight?
[Discussion] How many of us smoke to curb appetite?
/u/MadameFizzgig
Created: Thu Jul 26 23:35:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/929u9i/how_many_of_us_smoke_to_curb_appetite/
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Just curious, it seems that us ED people tend to have a higher rate of smoking than non-ED people.
[Rant/Rave] heās not texting anymore.
/u/tifaloch
Created: Thu Jul 26 23:21:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/929ra3/hes_not_texting_anymore/
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i donāt even know why iām posted.
this might get removed.
but... heās not texting anymore.
and now iām turn between having another drink or bingeing on the 2lbs of chocolate and peanut butter i bought to distract myself when he wasnāt texting earlier.
but then i could tell myself he would later.
okay, later.
maybe just a little later...
still nothing.
i sent him a nude snap this morning. he responded but hasnāt communicated since. and i canāt help but think itās cuz iām too fat.
[Rant/Rave] Some days my mental illness is literally written all over me. (Story in comments)
/u/AnxietyDepressedFun
Created: Thu Jul 26 22:51:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/929kty/some_days_my_mental_illness_is_literally_written/
---
https://i.redd.it/f33bc0sm8fc11.jpg
I binged today and I feel fucking horrible and I want to throw away all the food in my apartment.
/u/mvemjsun00
Created: Thu Jul 26 22:38:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/929hwn/i_binged_today_and_i_feel_fucking_horrible_and_i/
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Even just thinking of whatās in my fridge makes me fucking repulsed with myself. I canāt fucking do this I want it all out. Pasta and cheese and butter. Even typing it is making me depressed. I need to go to the store soon anyways and I have a new job so whatever. I rarely waste things and itās for my own good.
Itās late and I donāt want to walk to the dumpster in the dark by myself so itās waiting until morning. But tmro is when I purge my fucking kitchen. I donāt know why I did this I feel like such utter shit and it was actually a great day before I decided to be an idiot.
When I try to eat a normal calorie amount, I binge... When I try to restrict, I eat a normal amount?!
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Thu Jul 26 22:33:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/929gsi/when_i_try_to_eat_a_normal_calorie_amount_i_binge/
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I hate myself. Why can't I just follow my own instructions like I'm supposed to. I guess it's a lifetime of restriction for me then.
[Discussion] I don't know what I'm doing
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 130 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 20 F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 22:22:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/929e9d/i_dont_know_what_im_doing/
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So last year this time I got myself down to 130 from 160, and managed to restrict pretty damn well. But I worked fast food and had an endless supply of free diet soda. I was stagnant for a while but started to restrict heavily a month before vacation last month and got down to 120.
Ever since I've gotten back from vacation. Which was a week of eating three heavy meals a day and snacking in between and hating myself I have been non stop binging.
I just hate myself. I was on medication for depression but my ins. Stopped because of a miscommunication.
But it just got reinstated today so I hope to God I can get better soon!
Disappointed with myself.
/u/Jawzzy98
Created: Thu Jul 26 22:15:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/929cqt/disappointed_with_myself/
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https://i.redd.it/uri8brs82fc11.png
Binged....again and will binge again soon. fuck.
/u/postrevolutionism
Created: Thu Jul 26 21:52:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9297ch/bingedagain_and_will_binge_again_soon_fuck/
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i'm so tired of this fucking cycle. i've been restricting all week, eating small portions of meals at home for dinner (i still live with my parents during the summer since i'm in college) and today i restricted but my mom bought home two portions of dinner for me from a halal cart and the thought of them being there tomorrow while i'm home fucked me up so i ate fucking TWO lamb gyros because i couldn't deal with them being in the house and then i ate a whole thing of halo top which normally wouldn't make me feel too upset because when i eat halo top that's normally my only meal for the day but fuuuuuck i can't believe i ate that much. i tried purging but couldn't because my dad was in the next room (parents room is next to the bathroom - oh the perils of having a tiny apartment) which probably is better but i feel disgusting and want to claw my insides out. i'm tired of this.
I just wanted some Halo Top
/u/Kitkat9229
Created: Thu Jul 26 21:52:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9297aa/i_just_wanted_some_halo_top/
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So my boyfriend and I just went out to dinner and I attempted to listen to my body instead of counting calories. That worked ok but I felt like having ice cream after. We went to the grocery store and I picked chocolate Halo Top and I felt pretty good about it. But as soon as I got home I went into our bedroom, looked in the mirror at my stomach, and now I don't want to eat anything anymore. Fuck, can I just not care about my bloated disgusting stomach? Is that even possible? Logically I know that my stomach isn't what makes me a good person but it doesn't feel that way at all. Does anyone have a magic wand and can give me a flat stomach? Fuck.
[Discussion] I'm evil
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Thu Jul 26 21:51:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9296zi/im_evil/
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What if I told u I cut off all my beautiful hair that way I'd constantly be triggered by my fat fucking face every single day.
Here's to never getting better...
[Help] Not used to having food around, how do I stop binging?
/u/blanket4orts
Created: Thu Jul 26 21:44:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9295ny/not_used_to_having_food_around_how_do_i_stop/
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Warning: This is going to be long so buckle up!
I want to start this with a short explanation. I grew up in a household where disordered eating was basically necessary for survival. My parents didnāt understand budgeting and would blow a bunch of money when they got paid on really really delicious food, think: Steak, Lobster, Porschuito, fancy cheeses, Veal, Scallops. Along with alcohol and other luxuries. BUT then the money would run out, and so would the food. My brother and I grew up eating as much as we could, when we could, because we never knew when the next time we would have food was. This situation only got worse when my father lost his job, and steadily started to become an alcoholic. Starting when I was around 15 I had to buy food if I wanted to eat. There was hardly anything at home, and what there was available my brother ate because he couldnāt work yet, he was too young.
Iām now living with my grandparents. They are wonderful and Iām happier than Iāve ever been. But I hate how I look. Iāve gained so much weight, and itās because thereās food EVERYWHERE. It never goes away, all of the pantries are stocked, my Papa even buys me my favorite foods and keeps them in the house.
Now Iām generally a clean eater, I love salads, fish, and veggies. I also really enjoy fruit. I work out three days a week for an hour each time and Iām certain days do water aerobics and Zumba. I also lift. I have an athletic build, and large breasts so I know Iāll probably never be less than 100 Ibs. BUT having all this food around has been really hard for me to adjust to. I feel like I get bored and I just start eating. When I lived with my parents it was easy to avoid binging because there just wasnāt anything to eat. I miss the days when I was skinny and delicate. I miss being 115 Ibs. Now I weigh almost 150 Ibs. I just donāt know how to break this unhealthy obsession I have with food. I feel so stuck.
[Discussion] stat twins out there that wanna chat?
/u/bigbeyoncefan
Created: Thu Jul 26 21:24:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/929114/stat_twins_out_there_that_wanna_chat/
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Iām 20, F, 5ā2, HW:150 CW: 138 GW: 115-110
Anyone with similar stats to me want to add me on Snapchat and help motivate/ chat up each other? Iām losing motivation and I keep ending up binging almost everyday and need to restrict again
Mentor caught on to my ED??
/u/astra2018
Created: Thu Jul 26 21:23:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9290xz/mentor_caught_on_to_my_ed/
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So I'm doing a summer internship and my 'boss' who prefers to be called my mentor is an extremely friendly guy who has begun to get to know me. Today we ate lunch together, he had 2 sandwiches and a banana- he's 6'9 so he's still supper skinny. Whereas I had exactly 42 calories of raspberries measured out and a bagel thin with some of those raspberries in the middle. He asked me if thats really all I eat, then he asked me how much I weighed. He guessed 90 pounds, then 80 pounds and I said I didn't want to talk about it. Then he said "Well there's no way you could even hit 100 eating so little." At this point he already knew. I could tell in his concerned voice/expression. Then he offered to buy me food and asked if I was vegan or something b/c all he sees me eat are fruits. I said no (stupidly), and now he for sure know I have an anorexia. I feel like crying b/c now I feel like I've been exposed. My closest friends, my parents, nobody has figured it out, and within 10 minutes of watching me eat this guy figured it out. Ugh. I'm so frustrated
Post Exercise Sickness???
/u/Ineedthinspo [5'6 | 146 | 23.6 | -45 | ]
Created: Thu Jul 26 21:21:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9290fs/post_exercise_sickness/
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So I'm not even close to underweight yet, and I actually had a decent lunch(about 300cal, included tuna, cucumber, carrots, avocado, rice, and miso soup) so pretty balanced in my opinion.
Went to aquafit with my coworker, today was a very intense water tabata routine. And not to brag but I slayed. I pushed so hard, there were sets where I could feel my legs ready to collapse and broke through my limits, I felt exhausted but great.
I get home, start preparing lunches for tomorrow and working on my hubby's dinner. I'm rushing a bit because exhaustion is setting in hard. We're now probably 45min-1hour after working out and I just drank a bunch of water, and exhausted that's fine, but this was something entirely new and wrong. I started to feel incredibly sick, nauseous, dizzy and lightheaded, weak in the limbs like they may not support me more than the next 2 sec, and period like cramping...
I laid down and felt marginally better, but still awful. Finally asked hubby to bring me a piece of dark chocolate with pb, to see if that could be held in the system. I felt a bit better after, but seriously what the heck? Anyone else experienced something like this and know what it is?
[Discussion] irl thinspo
/u/bigbeyoncefan
Created: Thu Jul 26 21:20:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92907q/irl_thinspo/
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idk how something can be so motivating yet triggering at the same time?? today this girl maybe a few years younger than me came into my work and I couldnāt stop staring at her she had my ideal body: tall and lanky she had on a boring t shirt (looked like it was a size small) and running shorts on. if it wasnāt for her long ponytail sheād look androgynous but holy shit I want to look like that sooo bad just be lanky as hell with no curves at all! Iām all curves except for my boobs! ugh!!
[Discussion] What's your favourite alcohol for calories/drunkenness ratio?
/u/goatling94
Created: Thu Jul 26 21:07:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/928x90/whats_your_favourite_alcohol_for/
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[Help] someone snap me out of c/s please
/u/goosegurl [5' 6" | 125 | 20.2 | -20 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 20:02:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/928h1x/someone_snap_me_out_of_cs_please/
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I'm halfway through c/s a container of oreos I bought specifically for that purpose. They're way too sweet and they make my tongue black and I'm freaked about the calories I'm getting and I literally do not want them at all.Pls send help
Broncaid while on topamax? I need a boost or something because I'm fucking stuck.
/u/Sidehothrowaway [f | 31 | 134lbs lost | GW US size 6]
Created: Thu Jul 26 19:51:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/928ej7/broncaid_while_on_topamax_i_need_a_boost_or/
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Not even going to go into my fuckits, but I'm pretty much maxed on my topamax without being a total potato. I've tried just about every other diet pill but the good old stack. Has anyone tried it while on topamax? I can't stop topamax because it's really the only thing that keeps me from going totally crackers (bpd). I don't do caffeine pills but I drink a bunch of coffee and tea, so I figured I'd leave the caffeine pill pout of the equation and just try the Broncaid on its own and see what happens.
Just need to get like 25lbs off. Y'all get it. Temporary danger maybe cocktail. I'm just angry and frustrated and stalled and sick of this shit. Just 25 and I'm %100 done.
[Help] How do you cope with fat-hate? Itās not that I am hurt by what they actually say, but it triggers me into more restricting.
/u/strommlers
Created: Thu Jul 26 19:51:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/928eim/how_do_you_cope_with_fathate_its_not_that_i_am/
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I am overweight and I go through cycles of binging and restricting. Reddit vehemently hates fat people. It leads to me reading subreddits like fat-hate to fuel my ED. Itās kind of addicting.
Any advice?
[Rant/Rave] āYouāre doing the mirror thing againā.
/u/LumosErin [5'6" | 134 | 21.8 | GW:115-120 | 20F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 19:46:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/928d4s/youre_doing_the_mirror_thing_again/
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-Quote from the bf last night. My bf is fully aware about my eating disorder and is supportive in helping me get better.
Last night I was with him at his parentās house and we had *quite* a dinner. Steak and numerous sides. I had half of a little filet and a small roll to appease myself as I had eaten pretty much an entire bag of multigrain pita chips when we had margaritas (alcohol makes me hungry). And then dessert. Oh dessert. Was chocolate chip cookies. UGH MY WEAKNESS. I had way too many and could just feel my stomach expanding.
When we walked back to the media room to keep watching our show, I hung back and studied my tummy in the reflection of a window. Yep, totally overdid it. I came in the room and we cuddled when the following conversation took place:
Him: āAre you okay?ā
Me: āOf course, why wouldnāt I be?ā
Him: āI donāt know, youāre just doing the mirror thing again.ā
How sad is it that he knows my tells? I feel horrible for burdening him with the knowledge of this disease. I feel like I hurt him more than I do myself.
[Rant/Rave] "Axemaster" told me I'm stupid and now I want to binge forever but also never eat again
/u/cerulean- [5'4" | CW: ? | BMI: ? | 26F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 19:24:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9287gv/axemaster_told_me_im_stupid_and_now_i_want_to/
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Uuggghhhhh
My brain is so logical.
Went to an axe throwing place for an after work function. Turns out I'm pretty god-awful at it. Surprise, surprise. Don't really care about that. But at one point I ask the lady who is kind of in charge of our party a question.
Now, I didn't really like her from the beginning. She introduced herself as our "Axemaster," which is just...wtf. She was loud and abrasive and really needed a properly fitting bra, but I was willing to forgive those sins before this. I suppose people who are fanatic about axe throwing are kind of weird, so whatever.
When I asked my question she just looked me in the eye and said "Now I don't believe there's such a thing as stupid questions, but.............that's one. "
......
I was AMAZED that this bitch thought it was a good idea to call her customer stupid. Just, why? Even if it was an objectively dumb question, why be rude?
I didn't really say anything and everything else went fine but as I was driving home I started thinking more. I got those familiar urges to go buy Ben and Jerry's and eat 1,200 calories all in one sitting. But I also had the urge to never eat again. And I realized I felt the way I did only because of her rudeness to me...? I wasn't actually hurt by her comment, but I think I was irked/disturbed enough to feel...?? Uncomfortable? Or maybe angry? Not sure. But my point is that these two FUNDAMENTALLY OPPOSED urges came from THE SAME PLACE.
Like, wtf, brain?
The first step is acceptance right? Well I think I really have a food addiction:/
/u/Highoffempty [5'9|CW: 143.3 | GW: 120 | UGW: 106 |Lbs lost: 16.7]
Created: Thu Jul 26 19:24:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9287g3/the_first_step_is_acceptance_right_well_i_think_i/
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Without being long winded, I simply wish I did not have to eat.
When I fast, and the option of eating is taken away, I do so much better. It's almost like an addict. As soon as I eat a little, lately it's just been uncontrolled eating. I cannot seem to eat moderately. It is like all rational thought goes out the window and I'm just furiously eating. I feel very out of control when this happens.
I can't fast for the rest of my life obviously unless I don't want to have a very long life. I used to drink soylent before I did vegan keto. Although I was hungry throughout the day (keto makes me way less hungry), I loved the feeling that I never had to actually eat food. It wasn't an option. It really helped my control and my basically addiction to food. Kind of like expecting an alcoholic to drink a little each day in moderation. If food is an option, it is my downfall. Soylent prevented that.
Short of fasting forever, do you guys know of any vegan keto meal replacement shakes (preferably ones that taste like soylent and/or are very smooth?). I've tried ketofeul and it burns my throat for some reason? It has a very weird aftertaste to me. Joylent is so gritty. Are there any other options?
[Tip] Vitamin C Deficiency May Cause Belly Fat
/u/kernalmustache [169cm ā | CW 100lbs | BMI 15.9 | SW 130lbs šø]
Created: Thu Jul 26 19:16:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9285f9/vitamin_c_deficiency_may_cause_belly_fat/
---
https://i.redd.it/z0z9fju96ec11.jpg
Gained 2.8 lbs on week-long vacation because I couldnāt bring my primary form of exercise (bike) with me. Currently in the grips of a doozy of a panic attack, fighting the urge to break a 2-month self harm clean streak. Afraid the urge will win.
/u/borrellia [5'11|CW:132|GW:115|21F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 19:12:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92848d/gained_28_lbs_on_weeklong_vacation_because_i/
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Iām in actual awe of how disgusting I am. Iāve never been more disappointed in myself. I was doing *so* well, too ā consistently drastically under calorie limit until I *finally* achieved clinically underweight for my height and stayed there for over a month ā sometimes dipping up to 7 lbs below that ā and now this shit. I canāt even look in the mirror, all I have to do is close my eyes and feel the gross folds of my belly and the way my thighs and upper arms jiggle and I feel so nauseated I can barely breathe. I want to make everything look as ugly and torn open as I feel right now. I canāt believe this. I canāt.
[Help] i'm very scared. does anyone know what may be going on?
/u/bmddx
Created: Thu Jul 26 19:06:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9282ok/im_very_scared_does_anyone_know_what_may_be_going/
---
i deleted the reddit app on my phone about two weeks ago & told myself i'd never come back onto this subreddit. not because any of you are any less than supportive, warm, & kind, but because i was trying to make larger strides towards overcoming this. but i really have to get some thoughts, because right now, i'm a bit terrified.
basically, yesterday, i stopped for a small bit of froyo with my mom & almost cried at how good it was after about 22hrs of fasting. it felt like a revelation. but i realized with this strange new gravity how fucked up my habits are. so on a manic little whim, i deleted my zero app, which has literally been the staple to my days for about a year now. i went to a rehearsal. someone brought snacks. i decided to allow myself to have about eight crackers, a few small slices of cheese (you know how they come in the little squares on those store platters), & a packet of gummies with about six or seven pieces inside. it was fine until i freaked, & my head was just *screaming at me* for the entirety of the four hour rehearsal.
nathless, i went home & had a pack of kelp noodles. i was still hungry & figured i already fucked up anyway, so i had a pack of zero cal noodles with a bit of feta on top (i don't even know) & a handful of skinny pop. feeling disgusting, i headed to the bathroom & purged the majority (at least) of it up. fine. whatever. fuck it, right? nope.
then start the most hellish cramps i've had in years. think period cramps from hell set on fire. now, i haven't had my period since about april, so i was confused. i sat there literally writhing & clutching my stomach before i **\*\*TMI AHEAD: this gets gross.\*\*** proceeded to take the most massive, disgusting shit of my life. like a scared animal. my mom found me lying on the bathroom mat, pale in the face & sweating without having flushed & was shocked to see the amount i'd gotten out. it took me a minute to stand & a few before i felt i could speak semi-coherently. it felt cleansing, because i've had trouble with shit due to heavy restriction, but fuck. that was horrific.
so then when it comes time to do dinner today, i'm almost shaking in fear that it'll happen again. i had chopped celery, squash, cucumber, & zucchini with three glasses of water as predecessors. i ate slowly. fearfully. everything seemed fine. & then the cramps are back. same disgusting shit, same hellish experience, only a significantly lower amount, but still. what the fuck.
so. if anyone's dealt with this before, please drop a comment saying how you handled it / got it to stop, & if you have any idea what it might be, leave that too. i just need some thoughts. thanks.
[Rant/Rave] Crying in a grocery store/emotional abuse(?)
/u/hunnyangel
Created: Thu Jul 26 19:05:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9282eq/crying_in_a_grocery_storeemotional_abuse/
---
I cried in Whole Foods bc my gf took the last vegan slice of cake that I was willing to eat (240)
It left me with three other choices: 660, 840, and 990. I got anxious and she called me a brat and said āI know you have an eating disorder, but sometimes you just have to suck it up.ā
She has an ed as well and I just canāt understand how she would be so cold about this. I just wanted to break down but I knew she would call me out for being ātoo sensitiveā. Iām just really hurt and idk where to turn. Sheās my soulmate and we have a lot of fun together but these things hurt.
(I ended up getting the 660 :/ donāt know if Iāll be able to eat it)
[Rant/Rave] Panicking over getting frozen yogurt, BF wants me to recover, my heart is racing...ED anxiety!
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Thu Jul 26 19:03:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/928233/panicking_over_getting_frozen_yogurt_bf_wants_me/
---
I have my whole day planned out at 1,028 cals. and I feel OK with that. My TDEE is 1,500 and I have been aiming for around 1,000.
My BF want's to go to one of those self serve frozen yogurt places which I LOVE but this will set me over and I can not calculate this. I like toppings and these places are big triggers for me. But I do reallllyyyyy like it.
I feel like I have gained, he said NO, he says I am a nothing person (physically). He wants me to recover but just can not understand. He has been understanding before but he has kinda just had it. He is like just try to have 3 meals a day even if they are small, you have like one meal a day. Yes, true.
I can not comprehend meals. What is a meal? I feel some or a lot of people eat like 3,000 calories a day as a norm. They have to with just looking at what they consume and knowing calories.
He then says, "and when you do eat a lot ,don't binge on candy and waffles and cookies. That is why you feel so sick and hate it...... eat healthy." I told him I binge those foods because they are treats and I love them and I don't have them that much. It is what I crave and is an addiction. He just didn't buy that.....I just want to cry right now. I know he means well, but he is just sick of this.
I do NOT want to recover. I need to lose more. I just want to be so tiny. I always want to be the smallest or else I honestly feel I can not exist without reaching that comfort point. This is me, this is my life, and I will live it this way.
What I Ate Today Instead of Gum Like a Fucking Asshole
/u/matildamotherfucker [5'5 | 150 lbs | 25.0 | 0lbs | F:snoo_dealwithit:]
Created: Thu Jul 26 18:49:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/927y94/what_i_ate_today_instead_of_gum_like_a_fucking/
---
Goal: -35 lbs
Current: 150 motherfucking lbs
Meal day: Fast
What the fuck I actually did: Contemplated last piece of chewing gum; saved it for a more desperate time.
1. Ate a fucking MCDOUBLE that my sister bought even though I politely declined even though that's no excuse for me to put it in my face.
2. A toasted piece of bread with peanut butter AND jelly.
3. A quarter glass too sweet sparkling water (idgaf about '0' calories, sucralose, FUCKING gross), after which I wanted to vomit.
4. A concoction of oats, coconut sugar and peanut butter I tried to make into a 'cookie' (???), stupid internet recipe I NEVER would've even though of trying to make if my mother hadn't mentioned peanut butter cookies (I threw most of the mixture out though, it was gross and hard, thank goodness).
5. A boiled egg.
6. A turkey burger patty with a quarter of a slice of american cheese and pickled jalapenos.
WHAT THE FUCK -- I SHOULD'VE JUST ATE THE DAMN GUM.
I should've just ate the gum.
I SHOULD'VE JUST ATE THE GUM.
I'm not much of a purger but it certainly feels appropriate right now.
I used to be so good at not eating. It used to be so easy. I used to have a forum where everyone was skinny and thin and it was normal - I had clothing sizes to aspire to and I was a teenager and I could feel myself becoming part of the group every time I could fit into a smaller size.
I feel pregnant, lugging around this extra weight. I feel like the food is taking forever to go down, like there's too much piled up in my esophagus. And I need a day or two to let it finally feel gone without piling more food on top of it. I'm sabotaging myself.
Next time eat the damn gum. No one else is in this body but you. Fix it.
Honestly i can feel control slipping more and more and im scared.
/u/newtopi_a
Created: Thu Jul 26 18:46:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/927xg3/honestly_i_can_feel_control_slipping_more_and/
---
Long time lurker, first time poster (and on mobile so sorry)
SW: 240lbs - 05/17
CW: 137lbs
GW: 110lbs
Height: 5'5
So I've been restricting at 500kcal for about a month now, I've done super well and haven't gone over 800 (if I go over 500 I purge anyway) and at first it was fine, but as time goes on I'm noticing I'm hungrier, I can't focus on anything. I'm scared I'm going to binge. I ate 800cal today and nothing came up so I'm gonna try lax :( how can I control myself?
Competitive siblings.
/u/stinkyfern [5'5" | 29.9 | +24lbs | F(ood addict)]
Created: Thu Jul 26 18:34:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/927udz/competitive_siblings/
---
I know someone else here must have dealt with this. I have an older sister, and growing up, she was never happy unless she was thinner and eating less at every meal than me. Because she was the golden child, I was trained to appease her and so would always make sure to eat more than her. I never seriously considered dieting even though I hated being chubby because I knew it would upset her.
When we got a little older, she would always make sure that we bought foods I liked to binge on at the store, and would hand them to me with this horrible smile on her face.
I'm living with my family again atm and it's fucking me up. She's still like this.
Would love to hear your guys' stories on this subject.
Does standing or walking make your legs hurt?
/u/DankmasterFl3x
Created: Thu Jul 26 18:23:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/927rfb/does_standing_or_walking_make_your_legs_hurt/
---
I'm not anorexic at all, but I was wondering how people with bony legs walk.
Does walking or standing make your legs ache or tire easily if your legs are very skinny and have very little muscle?
This isn't directly related to eating disorders, but I was curious on how walking and other physical activities that most people do feel to anorexic people.
If you are or once were anorexic, did you start having problems before or after you lost a lot of weight?
Did those physical problems stop once you recovered?
[Discussion] Would I be the asshole if I hid my eating from my boyfriend?
/u/Sarahsj44
Created: Thu Jul 26 18:21:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/927r0q/would_i_be_the_asshole_if_i_hid_my_eating_from_my/
---
(TWWWW)
My boyfriend already knows about my eating disorder and everything, but I tried to recover recently and obviously failed. I binged today out of frustration and I plan on restricting again because Iām honestly just sick of eating.
Now my boyfriend has anger issues, and heās already going through so much stuff right now, and I would make his life so much harder doing this, but I genuinely canāt eat anymore and I donāt want to recover now. He doesnāt take my disordered behaviours lightly anymore. He used to be very calm and supportive about it and he tried his best to help me for months but I took advantage of his calmness (what ed does to you sigh) and he figured it out so now whenever I do anything stupid he gets extremely mad. I really donāt blame him. Heās a great person honestly, and heās still supportive, but I guess heās doing it the hard way now.
Either way, I donāt want to hide it so we donāt argue, I want to hide it because heās going through enough right now, and Iām already not there for him since we are in a LDR.
Would I be the asshole if I hid it/ pretended I was all better and getting treatment?
I've been trying to recover, but I can't stand EDA meetings
/u/perlkat [5'4.5" | 127 lbs | 21.8 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 18:00:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/927ld2/ive_been_trying_to_recover_but_i_cant_stand_eda/
---
EDA (Eating Disorders Anonymous) is a group that works the twelve steps. They have physical meetings pretty close to me but you have to be approved before you can go, so I attended one of their online meetings. There were only about ten people online, it was surprisingly personal.
We introduced ourselves, and people started to tell stories. I quickly realized that I will never be successful getting rid of my eating disorder in one of these groups. Everyone there was obsessed with religion, and guys, I am a bisexual married to a lesbian trans woman. I struggle with religion because of my sexuality and the sexuality of my partner, and I was terrified to say anything. I know the twelve steps are religion-based but they specifically mentioned you didn't have to be religious or believe in God to be successful before the meeting started.
After the chat was over I asked the moderator a private question and was warned that if I mentioned my sexuality people might say some less than nice comments, and that just killed my desire to be vulnerable with these strangers. Apparently people can accept every minority except mine.
This whole situation just makes me so sad and frustrated, which in turn fuels my eating habits and makes me restrict more. Just... why do people have to be so mean?
I Can't Fast
/u/kladarling [4'11"| SW 201 |CW175 | GW 95 |23F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 17:53:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/927jkq/i_cant_fast/
---
But boy oh boy can I b/p. I always decide "tomorrow I'm going to fast. I'm not going to eat any solids all day just coffee, water, and vitamins." and for some fucking reason my anxiety goes through the fucking roof. The Idea of not eating at all makes me feel like something really really bad is going to happen. like irrationally. but fuck me if I can eat a whole 1500cal and purge it like a boss. I don't know where I'm going with this, I guess I just needed to vent. Anyways Does anyone else have this issue?
[Discussion] I need to make peace with the fact I wonāt be able to restrict until I get back to school
/u/comrade_toastboy
Created: Thu Jul 26 17:42:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/927gmz/i_need_to_make_peace_with_the_fact_i_wont_be_able/
---
My parents know whatās up. They wonāt let me exercise and they watch what I eat. I can at least focus on maintaining so I wonāt have to lose that much. Itās just so fucking irritating.
[Rant/Rave] Why have I never realized how low cal mushrooms are?! I seasoned them with Old Bay and added an onion...185 cals for a MASSIVE bowl of food. Literally eating a bowl of mushrooms over here for dinner. No shame. Haha
/u/ahrahtnamas
Created: Thu Jul 26 17:32:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/927e1i/why_have_i_never_realized_how_low_cal_mushrooms/
---
https://i.redd.it/14kmqvjsndc11.jpg
Such a filling meal
/u/Crotchetylilkitten
Created: Thu Jul 26 17:24:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/927bm5/such_a_filling_meal/
---
https://i.redd.it/cxylogk8mdc11.jpg
well, it hasn't been a GREAT day as far as my health goes
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 112| LW: 110 |HW: 134|UGW: 105|19F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 17:21:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/927awf/well_it_hasnt_been_a_great_day_as_far_as_my/
---
https://i.redd.it/zomg8ieoldc11.jpg
[Other] Calories from c/s?
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 115 | 17.95 | 14.2 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 17:18:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/927a26/calories_from_cs/
---
Does anyone know how many calories you typically get from c/s? Weāre having pizza tonight and I know I can c/s without getting caught but Iām anxious about calories. Thank you!
[Rant/Rave] This specific 'recovery' account on Instagram, really just posing as an ED account but saying "recovery" so its ok (RANT)
/u/lemondropsicle [5'3.5" | now: 24" waist | goal: 22" waist| fasting]
Created: Thu Jul 26 17:14:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9278vi/this_specific_recovery_account_on_instagram/
---
I've been following this account for awhile, and this girl has 18.6K followers. I don't want to give out her handle right now because I don't see the point. Having almost 20K followers, most of them being actual recovery accounts, it just really annoys me that this girl is literally influencing thousands of other people in REAL recovery.
She's had this account and has been in 'recovery' for like, what, 3 years? If you scroll through her page all she's done is lose half her body weight while in her supposedly "#realrecovery". I commented asking whether she's even close to being weight restored right now and my comment got deleted and I got blocked in less than 5 minutes (I always wondered why there were NEVER any negative comments on her posts?)
She's still obsessed with tracking her food no matter how many paragraphs she writes in her captions blaming and personifying 'ana' for making her 'do this' and 'do that'. How is this ok?????? With so many other recovery accounts following her and actually looking at her as an inspiring person? All she does is continue to lose weight while posting these selfies of herself showcasing her skinny abs as she continues to lose weight?
It just annoys me so much that Instagram is full of these FAKE recovery accounts with thousands of followers who may actually be on Instagram looking for real support in recovering. Her entire account is literally just an ED account under the guise of a fucking #anarecovery account.
[Discussion] motivation!
/u/SamMav67 [5'5" | 129 | 21.72 | -6 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 16:57:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92744q/motivation/
---
I have a physical at the doctor next week, and I just realized that the last physical I weighed 15 pounds more than I do now!
I want the number on the scale to be even lower though, to get my doctor to notice it and say something about it. The next week will be sooo low cal and I will be so motivated :)
Pro tip: get a stomach ulcer
/u/idkhowtoeatwhoops
Created: Thu Jul 26 16:36:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/926y70/pro_tip_get_a_stomach_ulcer/
---
I havenāt eaten in 18 hours because everything makes me want to die or throw up. Which is actually a long time for me cuz Iāve been in box-of-cereal-in-one-sitting binge mode. AMA.
Ps Is it fucked up that I donāt want to get it treated right away?
Hello. It's me.
/u/xpetitallegro
Created: Thu Jul 26 16:30:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/926wht/hello_its_me/
---
Again. I was pretty active on here about a year ago. Got down to 100 lbs. Blacked out at the gym. Went to treatment. Kicked my eating disorder's ass. Started binging. Now I'm fat.
Started at 170... full on restriction the past month has gotten me to 150. I'm pissed that I'm essentially cycling back and forth between eating disorders (AN and BED), but I'm gonna be honest - I was a lot happier at 100 than I was at 170.
I keep on telling myself the myth that "Once I hit around 115 then I'll stop".......... but we all know it doesn't work like that.
So hello. Again.
Barely fazed by SO's judgy comment
/u/PermanentHysteria
Created: Thu Jul 26 16:03:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/926oij/barely_fazed_by_sos_judgy_comment/
---
I mentioned my small win of not gaining any weight in the last two weeks even though I didn't count calories and SO goes, "yeah, you've been doing really well; I noticed you're not eating tons of candy or dessert anymore."
I just laughed in disbelief. The backpedaling started immediately. Like, it's good that you know that was a shitty thing to say, but really I wish you didn't think it.
And I'm mad because of your stupid hypocritical rules like eating meat is bad for you. So is alcohol, but you get to drink that whenever, meanwhile, I'm not allowed to enjoy beef or dessert?! The only reason you're so skinny is because you have GI issues. Alcohol is acceptable to have multiples of every night, but me eating a chocolate bar is gluttony?! Gtfo. You know I had/have ED issues, hell, your sister does too, so you could be sensitive about it. And why are you policing what goes in my body?
The sad part is, they've never seen me eat A LOT of food. Like, you think a pack of Swedish fish is a lot? You should see me at a buffet. I'm immediately triggered to B/P this weekend while they're gone, just out of spite.
Anyway, I'm disgusting.
[Rant/Rave] Realising my journal isnāt how I left itā¦ wonder do my parents know about my ED Lmao
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Thu Jul 26 15:36:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/926gqs/realising_my_journal_isnt_how_i_left_it_wonder_do/
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Pretty much what title says lmao. Just back from holiday a few days and realised my journal isnāt in the same place, and then ribbon is out of it lmao. My family have evidentially had a flick through it, which means theyāve read about my desperate body hate and wanting to be 100lbs lmao. Also about my soppy love for my bf. Looool im just gonna pretend I donāt know and hope they donāt comment. I feel theyre gonna be on high alert about my eating tho :(
I don't want to binge ughhh (venting kinda)
/u/Jellyfish44
Created: Thu Jul 26 15:21:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/926cfd/i_dont_want_to_binge_ughhh_venting_kinda/
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Ok so I work at a summer camp and there's always food around which is super hard for me. Tomorrow is 'food friday' (fucked up ik) and all the counselors bring in tasty food for each other. There's gonna be donuts and other junk and I am so worried that I'll fully binge. Today I had a smallish binge and it wasn't too horrible but I still hate myself for it and want to die. I wish I could fast but like, parents and coworkers exist sooooo yeah.
There's no Scale for the next two weeks
/u/throwawaybecausenone [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Jul 26 15:16:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/926aqm/theres_no_scale_for_the_next_two_weeks/
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I'm currently at my girlfriends home (we're in a long distance relationship) and I really love to be with her but I'm low-key freaking out because there's just no scale in this house. I mean, there probably is but I haven't found it.
Combined with the fact that I can't really count calories, i just use my 'guess something that could be accurate and add like 100 just to be sure' technique, this really drives me crazy
I've been here for like 10 days, and I think I mostly achieved my goal to Max at 1200 calories a day. Like I eat dinner and a small bowl of cereal everyday with little exceptions.
I hope you're all having a great weekend ahead of you and don't mind any mistakes in my spelling!!!
I can feel it coming...
/u/birdsbirdsbirds339 [24F| 160cm | gw1: 137 | -24]
Created: Thu Jul 26 15:06:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9267gk/i_can_feel_it_coming/
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the uneasiness, the lowkey anxiety... I feel a binge coming and I dont know how to stop it or get it out of my head. All I can think about is taking the cake in the break room and eating it in the private bathroom stall. I know with dinner tonight (we're going out) I'm going to end up over my limit. I'm drinking tea like a fucking fish to distract myself but I just??? wish??? i could be normal and be able to look at food and say no.
[Discussion] DAE do body checks while exercising?
/u/Myrrsha
Created: Thu Jul 26 15:06:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9267dq/dae_do_body_checks_while_exercising/
---
I do it constantly when I exercise, like I'll put my hand on my chest or look down at my thighs.
[Rant/Rave] That feeling when youāre in class and your stomach grumbles really loud.
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Thu Jul 26 14:55:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9263wp/that_feeling_when_youre_in_class_and_your_stomach/
---
Thanks stomach. Thanks so much for letting everyone know that Iām starving.
That is all.
[Other] switching diet soda for coffee and tea
/u/reviic [ā| 5Ā“1.5 | 114lb | BMI21 | HW: 130lb | Trans boy19]
Created: Thu Jul 26 14:51:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9262wf/switching_diet_soda_for_coffee_and_tea/
---
Sooooo im not a big coffee drinker, tea is okay and i hate drinking water. I still try to drink 4+ litres of water a day bc water tummy aint got space for food >:3 i also drink lots of diet soda, like a LOT. If I'm home all day I can drink 3x 1,5 litre bottles a day. thats a lot of nasty chemicals and bad stuffs, and also costly for my jobless ass. š sooooo i am gonna go cold turkey on the diet soda and include 5+ cups of tea, and three cups of coffee a day (morning, lunch and evening i guess?) and not use splenda, but stick to stevia and monkfruit sweetener if i can find it anywhere. and also drink water with every meal and keep water bottles full and nearby š¤ cheers to a "healthier" (haha) life i guess š¤Ŗ
also; anyone have any luck making healthy soda with say Stevia and lemon juice in a sodastream? š
[Discussion] No binge day 4! How are we doing pals?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | CW: 60kg| GW: 58kg | UGW: 50kg | LW:56kg | 25F ]
Created: Thu Jul 26 14:25:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/925uof/no_binge_day_4_how_are_we_doing_pals/
---
So here we are on day 4, some of us are just starting but it's all good!
It takes thirty days to break a habit so I'm hoping that maybe I'll continue this even when the week is up... I just need to remember that overeating is not a binge... different mindsets n' all.
How was your day? My day was good, but a man in the gym tried to chat me up and I didn't want to be bothered because I'm not interested and I'm more interested in burning calories.
I ate around 1300kcal today but burned a fair bit more at the gym. My loseit puts me at a net of 845kcal. Let's hope that's right!
Question of the day:
What is your ideal evening? Mine is a bath, playing Sims and maybe doing a jigsaw puzzle whilst I watch Netflix in the background.
āyou look awfulā
/u/jamiespiers01
Created: Thu Jul 26 14:25:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/925uo6/you_look_awful/
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im 94 hours into a 7 day fast and one of my close friends messaged me to say how awful I look and how I need to stop. Bitch Iām happy about how I look for once stop trying to police my actions
[Help] Somewhat ānaturalā appetite suppressant?
/u/luluAita
Created: Thu Jul 26 14:22:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/925tmp/somewhat_natural_appetite_suppressant/
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Does anyone know of any appetite suppressants and/or thermogenics that are natural? Like, based only on plants parts or something like that?
I've been eating normally and I feel awful.
/u/cortizonegnome
Created: Thu Jul 26 14:16:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/925ru7/ive_been_eating_normally_and_i_feel_awful/
---
I feel fat and gross. Logically I know it's not possible for me to have jumped a weight class level after like three days of eating to satiation but I tried to be a social person today and go to a cookout and eat without mentally counting how many calories I was consuming and how much I'd need to work out to mitigate the effects but all I can feel now is how tight my pants are. I keep tugging at them and right now I just went to the bathroom to stare at myself from every angle conceivable. I'm not even that thin to begin with because I seriously can't throw up and it's hard to restrict when you're in college and every social activity involves drinking or eating out and now I'm going to be an actual whale. at least I'm healthy now right cuz even tho I hate myself im technically eating normally :/.. erg maybe I'll fast for the next three days..even it out adfsafe
[Rant/Rave] Someone told me I āeat like a big girlā after eating one and a half avocado sushi rolls today.
/u/boneybabybitch [5'4" | GW birthweight | BMI 16.3 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 14:00:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/925mlj/someone_told_me_i_eat_like_a_big_girl_after/
---
Kill me.
[Rant/Rave] āJust Binge on something healthy!!ā
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 13:53:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/925kd0/just_binge_on_something_healthy/
---
Like itās that easy.
When I actually start to binge, itās because Iām craving those ugly type of carbs. Itās because all I want is artificial sugars, breads, oil-drenched, deep fried, pastries... I do not want anything else and anything else sounds disgusting and ānot worth the bingeā. I will look at all the healthy food in the fridge and push it aside for the cake at the very back. Iāll forgo the unsweetened almond milk and grab the regular full fat kind(RIP my lactose intolerant arse) and eat an entire box of fruit loops while ignoring the gluten free rice chex.
I WISH I could binge on only healthy things, but even when I try to, I always transition so quickly into cupcakes and crisps and chocolate bars and freezer dinners... you name it. I binge to get a taste of as many forbidden foods as I can while my mind is in a euphoria, not to recover and be a healthy individual.
Let's talk vitamins!
/u/lalalalauren20 [5'4 | CW: 155 | SW: 167 | GW: 105 | 24F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 13:51:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/925jsz/lets_talk_vitamins/
---
I'm curious what other people's vitamin regimens are! I've recently added b1 after seeing a post on here so I'm curious if there's other ones I'm missing. For context, I've been vegan five years!
Here's my list!
Women's alive! gummy multivitamin (3/day)
B12 vita-melts (2/day)
Iron (1/day)
B1 (1/day)
I'm thinking of adding an additional biotin supplement even though my multivitamin has 100% since I love my hair.
I just can't fucking wait to lose weight, it's so slow!
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Thu Jul 26 13:35:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/925f1f/i_just_cant_fucking_wait_to_lose_weight_its_so/
---
It's making me want to rip my hair out! I planned on 500 calories but stay usually around 300 and I'm too week to exercise, but still, it would take at least 3-4 weeks to get back to an okay-ish week according to losertown, and even more to get to any proper weight...I just sit ALL DAY at home in agony because I CAN'T WAIT! :(
Exercise without ED thoughts?
/u/arteww
Created: Thu Jul 26 13:33:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/925egv/exercise_without_ed_thoughts/
---
I've started to go on long walks and I really enjoy the sun, warmth, nature and listening to an audiobook. I have an amazing time, so to say. The problem is I keep getting interrupted by the ED thoughts telling me exercise is good for my body, now I won't feel so hungry, now I won't binge, now I won't get to eat so much, now I'll lose some weight... And I get this urge to do more, to exercise more, to add some cardio, to do some sit-ups etc.
I'd love to just exercise for the good feeling I get from it and not constantly think about the weight loss. Previously I've sometimes been avoiding exercise because I don't want to listen my head going on about ED stuff, and I get so annoyed when someone (especially my dear parents) says "you should exercise more, exercise is always good for you!" Has anyone mastered this problem? Does someone with an ED really do exercise without ED thoughts? To make things really messed up, I, of course, also want to lose weight and want the ED thoughts to continue, just not during my awesome nature walks.
I'm probably just dreaming of a utopian situation but it'd be so nice, wouldn't it?
[Rant/Rave] Husband wants me to see somebody.
/u/StarburnerRav [5' 10" |Trumps salary in lbs | -40 lbs | Male]
Created: Thu Jul 26 13:30:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/925dkv/husband_wants_me_to_see_somebody/
---
Okay so this is gonna be kind of long. Sorry.
I've had problems with food for a long time and I'm almost constantly in a fast or binging. When I was young I brought it up to my doctor that I was scared I was developing an eating disorder. He proceeded to tell me I was too fat to have an eating disorder, and not to worry. He implied that I didn't like the diet my mother was putting me on (she wasn't putting me on a diet)
Ever since then I've been terrified to go back to seek help from any medical professional. I've never been officially diagnosed because of it. My husband sees most of my disordered habits and desperately wants me to see someone. He hasn't given me an ultimatum or anything, but I know it's putting a strain on our relationship, and I don't like doing that.
So I agreed to see someone once we work out some insurance stuff (his job covers mental and physical healthcare) but I'm having really bad anxiety over it. I've never been as thin as I want and have always been heavy due to the binging part of my Binge restrict cycle. I know I'll be absolutely destroyed if I'm not taken seriously. I've told my husband how worried I am but he insists it won't happen. Maybe he's right, and I just got shit luck with my first doctor. Or maybe I'm right to be concerned because people are buttholes.
[Rant/Rave] Three cheers for hot sauce!
/u/ahrahtnamas
Created: Thu Jul 26 13:07:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/925658/three_cheers_for_hot_sauce/
---
Itās 0cals and I just love putting it on everything. Especially morning star āchickenā patties. Itās so much better than binging on greasy, fried wings.
[Rant/Rave] helo, it me again,
/u/delaneyjay
Created: Thu Jul 26 12:54:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92527h/helo_it_me_again/
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Uh hey whatās up r/proed Iām stillllll gaining weight... posted awhile ago about not being able to loseā or yo yo-ing... itās worse. Lol.
I think at the time I last posted about this I was at like 130-135 in June
Well, itās July, and Iām currently sitting at 138.6. It never ends. Iāll maintain one day, gain half a pound, lose a whole one, gain two. I donāt know what Iām doing. Iām tracking every calorie, Iāve stopped exercising every day (because overexercising or sm shit). Iām drinking more water. I donāt know what Iām doing. I donāt know why I bother anymore
Iād rather enjoy my summer and indulge in ice cream with friends and go to parties and enjoy their junk food potluck. But nope, gotta get that ugw body for school
WELL GUESS WHAT! School starts in less than three weeks and Iām going back fatter than I left. Unless Iām gonna lose almost 30 lbs by then, Iām not having my dream body, my dream wardrobe.
Why do I restrict, agonize over my food choices, turn down outings with friends and family, ignore my cravings, pass up my favorite foods, obsess over calories, if Iām just going to gain anyway? Why is it that i gain no matter what I do?
I donāt want to fast every day for the rest of my life. But at this point, itās looking like thatās the only way Iām going to lose weight
[Help] I'm ashamed of my ED
/u/Nutellapples
Created: Thu Jul 26 12:46:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924zcs/im_ashamed_of_my_ed/
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I cant eat in front of people very easily, I cant shower very often out of hate for my body , I have family members who encourage me to keep losing weight and also comments from other girls about how ugly my body is. But I'm still ashamed of having a problem, I dont think I have an ED(I know I do but I guess you could say I'm kind of in denial) and when people ask why I've lost so much weight lately I just say that I'm sick and have to make up excuses. And having this problem makes me so ashamed like I'm not normal like everyone else . I dont know what to say .
Idk I just needed to vent.so much shit in my life and I feel so alone and have 0 friends...
Lara Bars
/u/river-of-souls
Created: Thu Jul 26 12:45:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924zbm/lara_bars/
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This is just a little recomendation(??) for all y'all. These things are typically around 200 calories for a bar, but the bars look pretty small. Trust me though, even half of the bar is a enough. They taste great, and are really filling. Plus, they are made with around 4 to 6 completely natural ingredients, deoending on the bar. Splitting the bar in half reduces calories and is more cost efficient, consodering they can be anywhere from $1.00 to $1.50 a bar. I've been having half a Lara Bar for breakfast this entire week, and it's been a life saver. I'd recomend Apple or Mint Chocolate Chip, and for the love of god dobtvtry the cashew one it is awful.
Be safe!!
Hate when my co-workers make comments about my food
/u/agent_philcoulson [27F 5'4" | CW: 133 | GW: 120 | UGW: 115]
Created: Thu Jul 26 12:40:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924xkk/hate_when_my_coworkers_make_comments_about_my_food/
---
Due to my stupidity, I let it get out at work that I'm restricting my calories and trying to lose weight. (My boss had recently lost 5 pounds and I was so happy for him that I couldn't help chatting him up about weight loss.)
I'm doing CICO and trying to eat 1200 calories a day. It's hard because I can binge like crazy. Well, now that my coworkers know about me wanting to lose weight, they can't help but comment on what I bring in for breakfast or lunch.
"Wow you're eating a bagel WITH cream cheese? That's not good."
"Pizza isn't good for you."
"You're really eating chips?"
Eff. Off! Just because YOU don't understand how CICO works doesn't mean to get to shit on my choices of food. Hearing people comment about my food just make me want to eat even more around them and just skip dinner. Which I know will end in a disaster for me.
Any tips to stop snacking on food when I'm baking?
/u/river-of-souls
Created: Thu Jul 26 12:30:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924ujp/any_tips_to_stop_snacking_on_food_when_im_baking/
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I love baking. It's my favourite thing to do. However, when I bake, I always end up licking the bowl, the spoon, and "taste testing" far more than necassary. I don't want to stop baking, because it is one of the only things that makes me happy rn, but how can I stop the mindless eating of what I bake?
[Other] How did I not know? This is life!
/u/_Pulltab_ [5' 7"| CW 171.8 | 26.9|-23.2| F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 12:26:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924td2/how_did_i_not_know_this_is_life/
---
https://i.redd.it/w9n8lfk65cc11.jpg
tracking weight vs measurements
/u/summerservice
Created: Thu Jul 26 12:23:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924s6n/tracking_weight_vs_measurements/
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Iām a little worried about how Iāll keep tracking my progress when I go back to school in september. I donāt think it would be a good idea to bring my scale to the dorm, because I donāt want my roommates to ask questions and stuff :( Iām thinking I could obsessively take my measurements instead (tape is a lot easier to hide haha) and just weigh myself when I go home a couple times a month, but just the idea of that feels weird, like I wonāt see the progress as well. anyone have experience with this?
also: how do I figure out ideal measurements? do your bust/waist/hips stay in ratio to one another or change on their own?
See How You Eat app bugged?
/u/dorisholliday
Created: Thu Jul 26 12:20:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924rda/see_how_you_eat_app_bugged/
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It deleted ALL my data! I noticed it when I went to log my lunch. I'm kinda pissed. Did it do this for anyone else?
[Other] Cara - The gut symptom tracking app that everyone here should know about (even if you are in recovery!)
/u/lindseychan [5'10" | CW: 122.4 | BMI: 17.6 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 12:13:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924p45/cara_the_gut_symptom_tracking_app_that_everyone/
---
Let me just say that this isn't a sponsored testimony or anything like that. I'm nobody--so no company would ever ask me to sponsor shit. I'm writing this because I truly believe that this app has helped me and I think it could help some of you too.
I'm in a place right now where I have my toes dipped in recovery. I'm still clinging to unhealthy things like calorie counting and my underweight BMI, but I've been focusing on health more and more. I probably eat an amount of calories per day that would terrify a lot of you.
Like many of you, I love tracking things. Macros, micros, calories, budgets, anything. The numbers can get overwhelming and ultimately triggering.
Enter Cara. It's a different kind of tracking app compared to MFP or the likes. You can track almost anything you can think of such as your sleep, digestion, bowel movements, mood, exercise, period, acne, workouts, pain, medications, and food *ingredients*. Wanna know what it doesn't track? Your weight and your calories. There are probably a hundred apps out there that already track those two things and I like that this app took a stance against it.
This app is for symptoms and showing how what types of food you're eating can impact your mood and everything else. You can use it to identify a food allergy or intolerance or what foods make your skin break out.
I know a huge portion of us here, myself included, struggle with constipation or other poop-related issues. The poop-tracking in this app is one of the biggest selling points to me. I downloaded this app after a few weeks of brutal constipation and dabbling with laxatives. I finally had enough and didn't want to become dependent on the laxatives and decided to monitor my food to stay regular. Since using this app for the past couple weeks and starting a new routine with its help (along with Cronometer to track my exact fiber intake), I've pooped every day except for like two days.
Logging meals in this app is simplistic. You enter the name of your meal and then enter whatever ingredients are in the food. Alongside that you'll be tracking your mood and whatever else you'd like. After the app has around a week of data, it will show you what foods you ate when your symptoms were the best, and what you ate when they were the worst. If you think your symptoms are more likely to show up the day after you ate something rather than the same day (as is the case fore me, but perhaps not for someone with more severe food intolerances with acute reactions), you can toggle the settings to show what foods you ate the day before a good/bad day.
This app is available on iOS and Android. It claims to have been developed by a team of doctors. It's also COMPLETELY free. Seriously. I have not had any opportunities to give this app money. There aren't extra features that you pay for. The whole. Damn. Thing. Is free.
I know it won't be a miracle app for everyone, but I feel like someone on this sub could get some good use out of it. It's been a calming and positive experience for me. I think it's good for people in recovery because of the focus on everything but weight and calories. It's also good if you're not in recovery but just want to do a little damage control to function.
I took some screenshots of the interface and put them in an album here if you're curious!
http://imgur.com/a/DtrvSQV
Is anyone already using Cara? Also what other apps are you using to track your life? Cara & Cronometer are my two baes.
[Rant/Rave] boyfriend and weightloss
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Thu Jul 26 12:07:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924n5t/boyfriend_and_weightloss/
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I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend I'm "trying to lose weight". He's into fitness so he gladly offered to help me. Good, right? Except now he always talks about weight, measurements, protein, how sugar is the evil and stuff like that. I love him, but this is triggering. He's telling me I can eat less than 1200 calories a day but I need 100g of protein. But how do I even reach that much protein? I don't eat that much unless I'm in binge mode (which is happening less and less now). He basically gave me so many tips and gave me a workout plan and he's so excited about it and I feel like shit because my brain is like "he wants you to lose weight because you're fat". I'm going on vacation soon (with my sister, without him) and he told me not to eat the typical foods of that place and if I do I have to burn those calories off.
And the worst is, yes I do want to lose weight, and I do restrict on the days that I don't binge, but being in recovery from bulimia I think I shouldn't get too fixated on losing weight. And I was finally starting to accept my body (5'3 and 124 lbs) while I get to my goal weight, but he makes me feel like total shit.
#littlerestrictionthings
/u/postrevolutionism
Created: Thu Jul 26 12:06:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924myf/littlerestrictionthings/
---
https://imgur.com/a/k05K63b
[Other] Eating The Minimum
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 12:02:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924llk/eating_the_minimum/
---
Iāve been pretty good about fasting thus far. Iām talking 48 hours fasting without an issue. Problem is, Iāll eat something and be fine. Then, Iām like what the Hell? I just fasted 48 hours. And I binge on food with the intent of purging it. Raise your hand if youāve ever eaten an entire pizza and thrown it up DRY. It hurts.
Today, I decided to eat to 500. Tomorrow, 700. Saturday, 300, and Sunday, Fast. Iām already noticing my desire to binge has gone down so much once I changed my mindset away from the usual I CANāT eat this process that haunted me for 10 years. Iām finally grasping moderation a bloody decade later and destroying my āall or nothingā mentality.
[Rant/Rave] Back to restricting and im crabby AF
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Thu Jul 26 11:48:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924h5t/back_to_restricting_and_im_crabby_af/
---
Ok so after being on holiday for three weeks, Iām feeling gross and back on the restricting game. But BOY am I irritable. (Also doesnāt help that my bf is still away and Iām very cripplingly alone... lol) My parents wanted spaghetti bolognese tonight and I was like ok. I was worried about it being high cal but I was like eh, Iāll take a tiny portion of pasta and make it with lots of veggies. So itās now dinnertime and I am hangry from not eating all day, and of course my family decide that the carrots and peppers in it arenāt cooked enough and theyāre going to take ages more to cook. Yaaaaay. Not as tho Iām literally starving lmaoooooo
Desperate
/u/thin_is_happiness
Created: Thu Jul 26 11:43:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924fjf/desperate/
---
Hello all.
I decided to post here because I believe that many of you will sympathize with me and my issue.
So, Iāve been wanting to become stick thin for many years and I can see that I had somewhat achieved that in the past. However, for the past 6 years Iāve been binge-eating relentlessly and abusing lax. Of course, Iāve gained alot of weight-most of it on my thighs and ass- and I cannot bear living anymore like this.
Iām planning to start a long-term fast, but I could really use your support and guidance if you have any input to offer.
Thanks in advance!
[Help] should I buy scales?
/u/sweaterbug
Created: Thu Jul 26 11:38:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924dp2/should_i_buy_scales/
---
havent weighed myself in a year or so, since i left therapy. i know ive gained a lot in that time, i'm guessing 5-10kgs, but my body dysmorphia makes it hard to tell. should i buy scales so i can better track my weightloss?
i'm a little worried it'll turn into the addiction to weighing myself that i had a few years ago, but i feel like i'm more mature now and it wouldn't be as bad.
[Other] a positive to going back to school
/u/sylas69 [5ā4 | 118 lbs | 20.25 | f]
Created: Thu Jul 26 11:28:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/924apu/a_positive_to_going_back_to_school/
---
i basically wonāt ever be home at a reasonable time (school for 8 hours, then an hour extra for studying in the school library, then going directly to work for a night shift) so my mom wonāt be able to notice iām not eating during the school week
5 lbs overnight why does my body want me to be miserable
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 11:02:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92426x/5_lbs_overnight_why_does_my_body_want_me_to_be/
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I had a mini binge last night after drinking too much....I hit a LW yesterday morning (91.8!!!) and this morning was 95.5 like wtf? I didnāt eat more than 2,500 calories TOPS. I had a chicken avocado wrap, half order of onion rings and a ciabatta baguette (what even) on top of 250 food calories and about 7 or 8 rum and diets.....I understand water weight or whatever but not 5 lbs from one binge that wasnāt even a pounds worth of calories :( Iām so bloated and feel like my fat is hanging out ugh wtf you guys
Dying (maybe)
/u/creampuffpixie
Created: Thu Jul 26 10:59:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9241a6/dying_maybe/
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Last night I vomited a tad bit of blood.
My stools have smelled irony for about a week.
Lots of stabby pains.
I should go to the doctor. I probably will after work.
I don't wanna die only bc I'm not at my goal weight. Is that a good enough reason?
Maintain low weight without food obsession
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Thu Jul 26 10:54:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/923zip/maintain_low_weight_without_food_obsession/
---
All I think about ever is food. I eat the exact same thing everyday (fruits, vegetables, turkey, protein bar) and count down the minutes until the next time I get to eat. Iām a female, weigh 109 pounds, 5ā8.5. I know Iām not fat and that it wouldnāt be a bad thing if I gained a few pounds. My question is, how can I maintain my weight but still have high energy and stop thinking about food 24/7.
[Rant/Rave] no idea how to calorie track this
/u/sweaterbug
Created: Thu Jul 26 10:48:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/923xqk/no_idea_how_to_calorie_track_this/
---
hi! its abt 3am here, so i'll say that yesterday my friend invited me over her house to celebrate our last english exam. she made up this absolutely beautiful platter of cheese, cold meats and various pickled things. i hardly ever get to see her so i didn't want all that to go to waste.
it had prosciutto, ham, camembert, pickled peppers, jatz and water biscuits (+ a few other things my uncultured ass didn't know). i didnt track how much of each i ate. i wish i could track it, but the closest thing in mfp is "various cold meats" for 138kcal, and i feel like it should be more than that.
ahhh i'm real mad @ myself because i've been so diligent over the last few days, and i feel like i've failed myself.
[Discussion] when friends you care about ask you how you lost the weight
/u/innocentkitty [5'1.5 | CW: 90 | 17.0 | GW: 85]
Created: Thu Jul 26 10:15:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/923n2v/when_friends_you_care_about_ask_you_how_you_lost/
---
i never know what to say because itāll hurt them either way. iām scared that if i come clean and tell them i didnāt eat that theyāll realise that it works and theyāll stop eating too. maybe iāll feel better and itāll help me recover if they know, but i canāt run that risk. what if i lie and tell them iāve been eating healthily and working out? there might be a silver lining somewhere in advocating a healthy lifestyle but what if it ruins our relationship if they find out the truth later down the line, or makes them think itās their fault for not realising sooner? even then, THEY could be trying really hard to live healthier and be more active in the ārightā way and i donāt want to be their breaking point of relapse if they compare their less obvious results to mine.
what do you say when people ask you about your weight loss?
Diet Coke
/u/snottygurl [5'2" |CW 108 | BMI 19.6 | UGW 100 | 24F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 10:09:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/923lcp/diet_coke/
---
I love you!!!!!!!!!!
Last Call for New Mod Applications
/u/woollyshirt [non binary wizard]
Created: Thu Jul 26 10:01:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/923ihk/last_call_for_new_mod_applications/
---
Hello! As of [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8zbiie/new_mod_applications/) - we are looking for new mods!
Please see [THIS](https://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/generic?iso=20180730T00&p0=136&msg=Applications+Closed&font=slab&csz=1) countdown timer for the time you have left until we will start finalising our decision and not consider any new applications. We are looking to announce new mods immediately so please get your applications in as soon as you can if you are still interested - details in the original post.
Thanks to everyone who has applied so far too! It's really lovely to see everyone so interested in helping this subreddit to flourish <3
Trouble showering
/u/edthrowaway77 [5'8'' | Cw: 140 (Thanks treatment) | LW: 109 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 09:55:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/923gm1/trouble_showering/
---
So I gained 40+ pounds in treatment and now Iām so disgusted with my body I have trouble showering because I hate seeing my body so much. I want to be clean and smell good but itās just so hard to face my body and what they did to it on the daily. Any tips?
My stupid idiot mom got gastric bypass surgery.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Thu Jul 26 09:46:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/923dvv/my_stupid_idiot_mom_got_gastric_bypass_surgery/
---
She initially lost a bunch of weight. Instead of sticking with the doctor's diet, she decided to go back to her old shitty eating habits, and she's regained a fair portion of it, plus she suffers from all kinds of weird stomach issues.
I told her not to do it. My dad told her not to do it. She insisted. Well, mom, congratulations on wasting that money and permanently compromising your health.
She's always going on about how she's going on a diet (for real this time). Throws out all the junk food in the house. I tell her that she needs to stick with the doctor's recommendations: low carb, high protein, moderate fat. Tell her to knock off the fake healthy food like Kodiak cakes. It's all carbohydrate-rich junk that's loaded with calories even if it has a smidgen more protein.
"You can't outrun a bad diet," I say. She nods in agreement.
A week later, there's a bag of potato chips, a bag of tortilla chips, pretzels, and big ol' box of Kodiak cakes in the cupboard. And sitting smack-dab in the middle of the counter is a store bought cake. It's not even *good* cake, it's that nasty crap the chain store bakery churns out that stays "fresh" for slightly less time than a package of Twinkies in a nuclear winter.
She knows I have a disordered relationship with food. Gee, where does that come from?
Oh god who am I kidding
/u/wanatanga
Created: Thu Jul 26 09:26:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9237ue/oh_god_who_am_i_kidding/
---
I literally made a post about a week ago then immediately unsubbed and deleted it, thinking I could sort myself out. (I used to be here in the old days, btw, i'm u/notthinohno, hello again old timers).
But, anyway (bear with me, drunk), I just looked at the self harm scars sub for the first time cos of shit going on in my head, and oh my god I am so fcked up cos all I can think is "oh, your scarred thighs are so skinny, I wish mine looked like that" arghhh that's not good is it?
Anyway, whatever, I can't escape this really, can I, no matter how many times I tell myself otherwise.
I can only lose weight once I've already lost weight.
/u/bunnyalert [62'' (167cm) | 164lbs (74kg) | F? :illuminati:]
Created: Thu Jul 26 08:58:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/922zdz/i_can_only_lose_weight_once_ive_already_lost/
---
I struggle with binge eating and bulimia, even though what I really want to do is fast. It's just so much less anguish for me that way. However, I find it incredibly hard to start fasting since I'm always depressed about my weight and I eat when I'm depressed. But once I start seeing my weight go down for whatever reason, I'm 10000 times more motivated to keep going.
I was delighted to see the number slip down again today, and I've magically lost my appetite. Is anyone else like this?
[Rant/Rave] Stop arguing with me about how weight loss works
/u/WaitingForHealing [5'5.5" | 271 | 222 | 115 | 24F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 08:27:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/922q0r/stop_arguing_with_me_about_how_weight_loss_works/
---
Why do people try to argue with you about it? I share that Iām losing and then you argue with me about CICO. Idc if you believe it because it doesnāt stop it from fucking working.
Now I donāt want to eat today because they stressed me so damn much. Stop arguing with me. You e never even had to lose weight!
āFeelā and ālookā skinnier when doing cardio regularly even if my eating hasnāt drastically changed?
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Thu Jul 26 08:08:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/922koa/feel_and_look_skinnier_when_doing_cardio/
---
Does anyone else experience this? Is it just dehydration, or?
I havenāt exercised since I started heavily restricting but Iām wondering if I should since it made me feel/look skinnier even at a higher weight.
What does everyone else think/experience?
"oh, you actually want some?"
/u/duskedfur [5'7"|CW: 112| LW: 110 |HW: 134|UGW: 105|19F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 08:07:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/922kf6/oh_you_actually_want_some/
---
"i didn't really account for you eating any, because, you know, you don't always eat."
"i'm gonna make sure that the day i make [food] is a day you actually eat so you can have some."
"i'm probably going to start dieting soon. i don't want to count calories though, that's hard."
_me: i can help, i pretty much know the calories in most foods._
"well yeah, that's cause you're..." _[gestures at me]_
these are just a few comments from a friend of mine lately. having friends who know about your eating disorder is strange. i don't have overwhelmingly negative feelings about what he's been saying, but i guess i don't feel great about it. i just want to be thin in peace.
[Rant/Rave] Driven insane by my own mediocrity
/u/markexclamationmark
Created: Thu Jul 26 08:02:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/922is5/driven_insane_by_my_own_mediocrity/
---
Any other hip hop dancers here?
I just got home from a workshop with one of the tip top choreographer/dancers in the world and I should be elated. But instead I'm crying because all I can think about is how beautiful and talented all the other attendees were, and how painfully average my own dancing is. I witnessed people who hadn't taken a class in over a year absolutely kill it and be chosen for the special groups. Meanwhile I'm there, broke from spending all ny money on classes and workshops, and I'm still only teaching little kids because no one older than 16 wants to learn from me.
I once had my teacher compare me and another student, and said that we were both great, but she 'was talented' while I 'was hard working'. A guest choreographer once had myself and another student (who is ultimate goals in looks and talent) perform the routine side by side and point out how differently we danced the routine. All I could think about is how I'd much much rather be able to dance like her. I feel like no matter how hard I grind I can never hope to compete with others. My moves aren't sharp, my injury gets in the way, and my hands and feet never seem to look right.
Some of the girls were soo skinny as well. Even if I do get the body I want one day, girls that are pretty AND talented are still a dime a dozen. I wish I didn't have this overwhelming need to be remarkable
[Other] CUTE DOGGO THREAD
/u/chrissylessthan3 [5'2 | CW: 128.5 | HW: 132.5 | GW: 112 | UGW: 105]
Created: Thu Jul 26 07:18:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9226cz/cute_doggo_thread/
---
We're such a supportive community and everyone deserves to be a little happy despite all the BS we go through, so let's see your DOGGOS, PUPPERS, BOOFERS, CLOUDS, CORGOS, PUGGOS, GOLDEN BOIS, MLEMS, AND LONG BOIS!!!
[Rant/Rave] Crying over toast
/u/userneedsadvice
Created: Thu Jul 26 07:13:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9224yh/crying_over_toast/
---
I didnāt know where else to post this but I just broke down in tears cus thereās no bread to make toast in my house. I had my meal planned around the toast, (scrambled egg whites and dry toast) as a treat from my usual oatmeal.
Have I lost the plot completely?
A story on nosleep I think you guys will like!
/u/HonestRaspberry
Created: Thu Jul 26 07:09:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9223z9/a_story_on_nosleep_i_think_you_guys_will_like/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/913zkf/negative_calorie_foods_are_hitting_the_shelves/
[Help] Purging as safely as possible
/u/ifhy8866
Created: Thu Jul 26 07:07:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9223cd/purging_as_safely_as_possible/
---
Iāve recently started purging regularly again and Iām so paranoid that itās really going to fuck with my body (I mean obviously it will but I at least want to try look after myself as much as possible lol).
I drink a decent amount of liquid during meals so it comes up easier, I donāt brush my teeth for a few hours after, if Iām trying and nothings coming up and my whole body is sore and my throat hurts I stop before I strain something etc but there was some blood tonight in my saliva and Iām just so worried.
PS I donāt binge. I just do it after a normal dinner if Iām feeling fat or if I go out to eat or have takeout or something.
TLDR any tips for safer/less harmful purging
Iām buying a scale again
/u/fccg12
Created: Thu Jul 26 07:03:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9222g2/im_buying_a_scale_again/
---
Iām moving out which means iāll be able to buy a scale again. I dont know if i should tell my roommate. Iāve been honest with her about everything else i just really need this control
Can someone please tell me not to overeat
/u/LetThereBeCorgis [5'1" | CW:106 | GW:95 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 06:38:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/921w23/can_someone_please_tell_me_not_to_overeat/
---
Iāve put on some weight over the past couple months after days of restricting and then overeating. Itās like Iāve lost all the self control I used to have. I just want to lose the weight, even if itās only slowly. Could someone please tell me not to keep overeating? Hopefully then Iāll finally feel like I need to commit to weight loss so I donāt let anyone down, instead of continuing to keep this problem to myself and putting on the pounds...
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support July 26, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 26 06:11:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/921pdz/weekly_emotional_support_july_26_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 26, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 26 06:10:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/921p54/daily_food_diary_july_26_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 26, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Finally reached a LW yesterday then drunk binged lol what is life
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 06:01:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/921n1k/finally_reached_a_lw_yesterday_then_drunk_binged/
---
Promised myself I wouldnāt get pizza no matter what happened with my evening (a concert I saved calories for drinking for) then at midnight got a basket of onion rings and went to my boyfriends and instead of ordering pizza ate an entire baguette off his kitchen counter......firstly wow congrats on avoiding the pizza and eating like 2,000 calories in bread instead and secondly heās going to be really confused when he goes to make a sandwich later š
Iām back (sort of)
/u/rainbowfuze [5'9" | 135 | BMI: 19.5 | GW1: 130 | UGW: 123]
Created: Thu Jul 26 05:31:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/921gcl/im_back_sort_of/
---
I went on vacation this last week and forced myself to eat normally/enjoy food. I actually succeeded, mostly in part to being in a huge city and walking 10+ miles a day. So I felt better about eating more. Now Iām back home and Iām trying to keep that mindset and am allowing myself 1,200 calories a day, but god damn I feel like shit.
How can I go from eating 2,000 calories a day, and feeling great, to eating the lowest recommended calories for weight loss plus exercising and feel like a ball of fat :/ Iām even at my lowest weight ever (134.8), but I want so badly to go back to 500cal restriction days ugh
How do you measure things with different ingredients?
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Thu Jul 26 05:24:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/921f0h/how_do_you_measure_things_with_different/
---
Let's say you're eating something like Chex Mix or Honey Bunches of Oats, something with mixed ingredients. The label might say '130 cals for 32 grams', but the cereal has a mix of almonds, cornflakes, and granola bites. What if you get a lot of almonds in the 32 g you weigh out? It would be a lot more than 130 cals. What if you get a lot of cornflakes? It would be less than 130 cal.
Help!
[Thinspo] Thinspo-ish food pages?
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Thu Jul 26 05:11:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/921c9o/thinspoish_food_pages/
---
Do you follow any instagrams, tumblrs etc. that post their food which is low calorie? I love stalking what 'fitness people'/models eat, but it's all waaay too much (also I never believe they actually eat that much, or they might workout a ton). Any good realistic food diaries to follow? I really need something I can relate to lol, watching skinny people eat 600-calorie 'healthy' avocado on toast is making me really depressed because I can't have such things :(
[Tip] Warning: one of these contain 2,5 "tubs", read the fine print
/u/constantwinter
Created: Thu Jul 26 04:43:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9216ei/warning_one_of_these_contain_25_tubs_read_the/
---
https://i.redd.it/hx8nx70ju9c11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] my school got a new canteen and now it sells sugar free coke and spirte zero!!
/u/isaezraa [165 | CW 55 | GW 50 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 03:47:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/920vct/my_school_got_a_new_canteen_and_now_it_sells/
---
after 6 months without a canteen i was kinda dreading getting it back since itād make it so much harder to restrict but this is an actual life saver! they also have this 200cal sweet potato soup and its so perfect for winter im in love
One of my neighbors is making Bolognese (low cal recipes?)
/u/stlib [5'10" | CW: 141 lbs | BMI: 20.5 | -84 lbs | GW: 126 lbs | 21 F |]
Created: Thu Jul 26 03:43:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/920uo5/one_of_my_neighbors_is_making_bolognese_low_cal/
---
I can smell it. It was the first thing I smelt as I woke up this morning and itās taking over my very being, the amount of times Iāve thought about silky smooth spaghetti and a beautiful, chunky sauce filled with all that veg a million times in the 40 mins Iāve been conscious is really quite sad.
Have any of you managed to create a relatively low cal Bolognese/Chilli/banging thing?
PLEASE GIVE ME THE RECIPE, my fiancƩe will be so happy to see me cooking again
Manic episode
/u/newforvevernever [5'6'' | CW 113.7 | GW 101 | WL 4 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 03:17:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/920ptu/manic_episode/
---
My anxiety is all the way up, no one's around, my communications box is empty, I'm feeling ready to drown. I made wrong choices, I c&s all day. Literally gobs in plastic baggies in grocery bags. I buy the food. I get snacks from work. Every morning I make the rounds, stocking up on eggs oatmeal, toast, only to bring it home after 5 and let it get blended up in my oral enamel. I spit. And I spit. And I'm addicted. Even during work, in cups, like I'm sipping.
My coworker is 80 pounds and 5'1''. Here I am, a towering thunder thighs, giant to her size.
I subside the cravings but every once in a while, I nibble. Sweet potato. Seaweed.
Bloat.
I'm a monster, mostly empty, but definitely still not.
[Help] Severe restriction and depression because I'm crazy
/u/sayyourprayersbitch [5'5 | CW 108 | 17.9 | F ]
Created: Thu Jul 26 03:09:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/920ocz/severe_restriction_and_depression_because_im_crazy/
---
I know many people will skip this, thats fine. These posts don't get much traction but I guess I just need to get it out there for at least one person to see.
This week has been rough. I'm spiraling for sure. On my drive to university yesterday and Tuesday, I caught myself thinking "If I die, it doesn't matter how I do on my exams" and got into this really bad planning and cyclic suicidal ideation thought pattern. I saw a post on MPA the other day where one person said they tried to kill themselves because they didn't want to eat dinner and I actually laughed out loud at that, not because I thought it was funny, but because I've done similar things and it was just so ridiculous that so many of us have probably gotten to that point. Then I cried about it because I'm there again. None of this makes sense though.
I hit my goal weight of 110lbs and even moved down to 108lbs this week which I should be ecstatic about but instead I'm obsessively grabbing and pinching the fat left on my lower belly and upper arms. I've been restricting under 500cal so far this week and this morning I could barely stand because I was so weak. Of course, my response wasn't to eat but instead to have coffee and adderall.
I have the most wonderful boyfriend I could ask for and he does absolutely everything he can to make me happy. He tries so hard to make me healthy meals and encourage me to eat, do my schoolwork, and holds me when I'm upset. He is even buying me a puppy this weekend because he is worried I get too lonely while he is at work (he's not wrong). I adore him and all I want to do it make him happy but I feel so caught up in this stupid ED and my schoolwork that I don't give him what he deserves. I'm constantly questioning why he loves me, if he actually loves me, and if I'm actually just a massive burden that he has to carry.
I have NO ONE to talk to about any of this. My closest friend lives literally thousands of miles away and while she knew earlier this summer that I was on the brink of a bad relapse, she has no idea of how bad it is now and has threatened to tell my parents about it (I don't live with them and they have never known about my ED). The only friends I have close by have graduated college and don't have the time to see me anymore, nor do I think they actually care at this point. I have acquaintances in class but I wouldn't call them friends. They know nothing about me and I feel that disclosing anything would make them ignore me completely or make them go batshit trying to fix me.
So basically, I wake up and try not to eat. I go to school, try not to eat, maybe say a couple words to two people. I go to work and force myself to wait until 8pm to eat. I come home and my boyfriend is already asleep because it is so late and then I wake up at 5am and do it again.
Its just a monotonous cycle and at this point, it feels like it is going to kill me. Last time I was this low I ended up in inpatient treatment for an attempt.
I guess I'm asking for advice or something. So anything ya'll got, send it my way even if it is just a nice thought or short prayer or whatever.
[Rant/Rave] tw: sexual assault(?)
/u/smolbeanbaby [5'2 | 132 | 24.1 | 34 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 02:00:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/920bz3/tw_sexual_assault/
---
preface: when i was a kid i was abused by a family friend.
a few days ago, or maybe weeks idk everything feels so run together and messy. someone i considered a good friend, almost a brother figure, initiated sexual contact and i was too shocked to like, say no. and he just kept going. and going. and going. the only thing i managed to protest to was actual sex because i made the excuse of no condom but i feel so stupid for not being able to get up the will to say no.
afew days after he tried to start it again and i managed to work up the spine to say i was too depressed and not in the mood etc and he literally got off while i talked about how suicidal i was and i am just so disgusted. not with just him but also myself for letting it happen. i thank whatever being is out there for my friend messaging me and asking him to meet to talk about some things because it was the perfect out to get him to take me home.
iām in a position where i canāt contact police but being around him makes me physically ill. i work with him. whenever he moves certain ways or says certain things i have these weird moments where i genuinely think iām back to being 7 or 8 and itās scary.
iām still in a weird sort of denial about it happening. i feel so out of it and irritable and flaky-friend has become not flaky anymore and a huge support for me and helping me avoid him at work and stuff. iām just gonna call him unicorn(inside joke) for the sake of simplicity.
unicorn has been by my side a lot of the day that iām awake because i mentioned that iām afraid of being alone now and he texts me and stuff and idk. he offered to contact police for me but i just canāt handle getting involved with police because itās a small town and a variety of other reasons.
i keep switching between barely being able to eat without puking and eating everything i can. i broke my clean streak from self harm today when my grandpa and i got into a fight and my leg is messed up now. iāve had a no purge streak for a good few days now but i just want to puke and cut and cry and die.
iām tipsy right now and my head hurts so much but iām afraid to go to sleep and have nightmares. iām having such a rough time and nothing seems to be giving and iām just so tired, you know?
i know this wasnāt super ED related but i only feel safe venting here
[Goal] Goal
/u/cryingboi65
Created: Thu Jul 26 01:24:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/92057m/goal/
---
Allow myself to eat liKE A FUCKING NORMAL PERSON FOR ONCE,that is all.
For anyone who lives in the UK or has access to a Tesco
/u/CoffeeBonez
Created: Thu Jul 26 01:20:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9204fj/for_anyone_who_lives_in_the_uk_or_has_access_to_a/
---
They sell pots of Hartley's Jelly that say '10 cal wow!' but they're actually 4 calories (175g) each. My new favourite, thought I'd share!
[Discussion] Completely obsessed with Snotgirl
/u/online-waifu [5'3" | CW 210 | GW 175 | UGW 120 | 19F]
Created: Thu Jul 26 01:07:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9201yy/completely_obsessed_with_snotgirl/
---
[removed]
[Tip] Anyone try these? 2 Calories per serving!
/u/ChunkynFluffy
Created: Thu Jul 26 00:10:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91zqc6/anyone_try_these_2_calories_per_serving/
---
https://i.redd.it/oq48v3pqh8c11.jpg
[Other] It makes me so mad that food companies can get away with stuff like this.
/u/silencx [H:5'11" | CW:130 ]
Created: Thu Jul 26 00:07:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91zprn/it_makes_me_so_mad_that_food_companies_can_get/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxNPpte_6m4
[Tip] PSA: The dips from Walden Farms are not worth the low calories. They taste terrible imo
/u/dubbie28
Created: Wed Jul 25 23:34:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91zj92/psa_the_dips_from_walden_farms_are_not_worth_the/
---
https://i.redd.it/fsms3gahb8c11.jpg
Can't tell if this is the ed or what
/u/mittensmel
Created: Wed Jul 25 22:54:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91zaxg/cant_tell_if_this_is_the_ed_or_what/
---
I have found I am eating less and less because I feel full faster and today when I try to eat more I starting coughing like I'm going to throw up and I feel nauseous.
I can't tell if it's the ed or I've actually got something physically wrong with me.
Back to where we all started?
/u/datcookie27
Created: Wed Jul 25 22:48:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91z9qc/back_to_where_we_all_started/
---
I'm breaking. I was recovering. I gained 5 pounds back. Someone asked me at work today, "what size are you? You're so thin." Granted, I work at a restaurant and mostly everyone is overweight there. So to them I look small. Then when I answered. She one-uped me and said that she was a size smaller when she was my age. Why? Why? Why did she do that? She could have said I was the same size at your age. Why'd you have to go a dress size smaller? I didn't want to hear that. Not that this waitress knows my ED.
It just upset me because I'm only going to get bigger by recovering. so maybe I shouldn't gain anymore weight. Just watch what I eat to not gain anymore.
But now I'm just back to the beginning of "just not gaining anymore."
TLDR: not recovering anymore, just not gaining
Does supplementing with vitamins prevent the side effects of being underweight?
/u/EternalVertigo
Created: Wed Jul 25 22:41:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91z85m/does_supplementing_with_vitamins_prevent_the_side/
---
Like bone density loss, hair loss etc.
I'm at a bmi of 14, and kinda worried.
My mental insecurities drive me to restrict.
/u/newforvevernever [5'6'' | CW 113.7 | GW 101 | WL 4 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 22:30:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91z5nq/my_mental_insecurities_drive_me_to_restrict/
---
I did it again. I had a wild idea to get people together, to connect friends. I texted, I facebook messaged, and... Nothing. No responses. And like, I'm no stranger to this. I get it. I get busy. I understand no one is beholden to me. It's not about me. But for some reason this act of total unknown, and not being in control fucks HUGELY with my head, and here is where I am sure I am mentally ill in a literal way. My head goes there. "They hate me. I'm an idiot. Why the HELL did I think reaching out to people was a good idea? Everyone hates you. You are shit. You and your stupid thoughts and plans are worthless. Go die. You deserve death for thinking it was ok to connect with people. What were you thinking? They see through you and your pathetic needs. Your disgusting want of community. Your horrible desires for... anything. You're disgusting." My manic energy suddenly plummets to nothing. And then I restrict, because I have no right to be here.
[Rant/Rave] Just knocked over a grinder full of weed while trying to do some exercises to burn a few more calories before bed.
/u/ShannonAnon
Created: Wed Jul 25 22:18:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91z38a/just_knocked_over_a_grinder_full_of_weed_while/
---
Everything suuuuuucks.
[Rant/Rave] Binge wins and losses...
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 22:14:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91z25g/binge_wins_and_losses/
---
Well I got into a huge fight with my SO and he fell asleep and as he sits there snoring Iām nosy tearing through the kitchen shoving everything I can into my mouth.. Which so far has meant half a loaf of ciabatta and a butter croissant....both foods I donāt touch...plus we went out for dinner and I had a turkey wrap with onion rings he promised he would eat but I ate half of...so Iām probably up to like 10,000 calories for the day and I want to die so happy hump day
honestly all i want is the heroin chic aesthetic
/u/goatling94
Created: Wed Jul 25 21:47:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91yvvt/honestly_all_i_want_is_the_heroin_chic_aesthetic/
---
but I'm too much of a loser to actually take heroin because I'm scared of drugs lol
so guess I just have to starve myself for a million years instead
[Rant/Rave] I can't stand it
/u/mu514 [160 cm ā¢ 45~50 kg ā¢ F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 21:41:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91yuom/i_cant_stand_it/
---
Ever since I've stopped fasting/restricting as hard, my emotions have come back full force, and they are intense. It does not help that the majority of them are negative emotions.
This is stressing me out. I can't stand it.
[Discussion] Discussion: Nuttyfoodiefitness
/u/tarawert
Created: Wed Jul 25 21:29:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91yrzf/discussion_nuttyfoodiefitness/
---
I don't know if anyone here follows her youtube channel or her Instagram but I am so legitimately baffled..
Like.. she eats all day? She always snaking on like reeses, NUTS, oeanut butter, protein bars, just chocolate. On top of that eats burgers, fries, tacos, pizza, granola. Just everything really high cal. She says she has no idea how many cals she eats, has never tracked macros.
And she has abs... Somehow she has abs while eating like this? I have no idea whats going on is her tdee really that high or does she actually track or only take a bite out of something puts it on her ig or video then throws it out (maybe actually has an ed)?
Sorry but I am really so baffled by her.
Freaking out about artificial sweeteners.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 88.6lbs| 14.2 | Male]
Created: Wed Jul 25 21:25:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91yqsw/freaking_out_about_artificial_sweeteners/
---
I've had half a bottle of strawberry kiwi Sparkling Ice and added a packet of Stevia to cashew milk + cocoa powder. I have the idea that artificial sweeteners somehow fuck with your metabolism and make you not burn calories or something. Is there even any truth in this?
[Rant/Rave] Clavicles and seat belts
/u/velocity2ds
Created: Wed Jul 25 21:11:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91yngz/clavicles_and_seat_belts/
---
The FUCKING worst. I love my deep clavicles but wearing seat belts is so uncomfortable. Just the touch of the seatbelt feels so disgusting. It's almost as bad as sitting in a chair after having foodb
when I get a day off on a weekday
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | CW 43.5 kg (96 lbs) | HW 46.2 (102) LW 38.5 (85)]
Created: Wed Jul 25 21:07:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91ymf9/when_i_get_a_day_off_on_a_weekday/
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https://i.redd.it/84yefxo4l7c11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] when I get a day off on a weekday
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | CW 43.5 kg (96 lbs) | HW 46.2 (102) LW 38.5 (85)]
Created: Wed Jul 25 21:05:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91ylxs/when_i_get_a_day_off_on_a_weekday/
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https://imgur.com/a/g1p2imC
[Discussion] Kpop Diets yo
/u/ratorture [5'9 | 130 | 18.65| Perpetual Recovery Machine|]
Created: Wed Jul 25 20:49:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91yi0n/kpop_diets_yo/
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Just did the IU diet (technically 1 apple, 1 sweet potato, 1 protein shake per day - though I allowed some alcohol because ĀÆ\\\_(ć)\_/ĀÆ ) for 3 days while maintaining an active lifestyle. Anyone else really into these things? It's just fascinating to me that people can be open about crash dieting and low BMIs etc. This one in particular was actually filling during the day, but made me hungry the next morning. Overall super do-able; I weirdly look forward to dieting and will try other kpop stars' diets in the future. I'm telling myself this is ok for my recovery because I'm not counting calories :P
[Discussion] :( please God just let me stop
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Wed Jul 25 20:24:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91ybns/please_god_just_let_me_stop/
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I have been binging so often. I know that only makes me depressed asf and so ugly.. I finally broke the cycle of straight binge yesterday with only eating my lunch from work...
Well today I call home to see what the plan is, my SO says we aren't doing anything so I eat lunch at work! Great a tuna sub with all my fixings and siracha! I enjoy it. Idk how much it really is but I always just say it's 800 cal. It's a 6 inch I really hope it isn't more. Okay so anyways I get home... my SO's buddy got me two whoppers, my weakness after finally adding meat back into my diet. Okay so I have 1 whopper. I know that's in the 700 cal area since I had a lot of ketchup too.. okay that's fine that was all I was gonna have plus my 30cal coffee. MY SO WAKES ME UP AS I'M FALLING ASLEEP FOR A NAP AND LITERALLY MAKES ME GO TO THE CHINESE BUFFET.
When I got there I ordered hot tea. I had 1 sugar with each, like 5 cups.. then I had to get a plate because someone else was buying I didn't want to be ungrateful. I got coconut shrimp, two cheese wontons, 2 California rolls, and some cucumber and tomato with some sort of dressing. Anyways its more than I planned times like 50 and I'm honestly so sad I just needed to vent. Sorry :(
Tldr; I ate lunch, bfs friend got me more food, I was then forced to eat another meal.
[Rant/Rave] So the weight is coming off and the coworker comments are ON. and iām feeling paranoid iām being watched
/u/guava_pastille
Created: Wed Jul 25 20:20:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91yap8/so_the_weight_is_coming_off_and_the_coworker/
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Since january of this year i lost 46 lbs. Obviously itās showing. Several coworkers have commented. My excuse is that iāve been exercising a lot (i... kind of do but not enough to excuse the weight loss, which has been through caloric restriction). i also plan on losing more.
I am in a job where I am seen a lot and interact with a lot of people. the nosiest and sorry to be ageist, but oldest coworkers tend to make the comments ā i think younger people know thatās kind of a no-no.
it fucks with me. in some ways i wish i could just get another job and start over somewhere where i am at this weight so no one sees, like, me as a walking example of r/progresspics
my motivation for weight loss has been more about self control, trying to āregainā feminity, and less about like... being noticed by annoying people.
sometimes i feel like everyone is looking at me and observing me and watching to see if i lose more weight and i feel like a spectacle / carnival show.
not really looking for advice just ranting.
[Discussion] Which celebrity is your thinspo idol?
/u/hypothermi_a
Created: Wed Jul 25 20:06:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91y75d/which_celebrity_is_your_thinspo_idol/
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Mine is Dani Divine. Sheās drop-dead gorgeous, Iām already an ultra lesbian, but she makes me a raging dyke š
I donāt want to be very skinny, I want to look just like Dani. She has the ultimate body type in my opinion, I want to become a model like she is too, sheās so inspiring to me.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so freaking hideous
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Wed Jul 25 20:02:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91y635/im_so_freaking_hideous/
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I seriously cannot believe how I've let myself become a monster. I'm not skinny, my hair looks childish and bland, I'm super bloated, I have no sense of style, I'm just a big failure. My face is average, or even ugly. I have zero identity. I don't know how to fix anything except for my weight. And since the only thing I know the answer to is how to control my weight, I'm gonna try to eat next to nothing every day because idgaf anymore. Health concerns? Nope! I'm overweight, n/a. Binging/ food cravings? Don't care, already have those. Struggle? Already doing that. I literally have nothing to lose; the only hope I have left is to lose weight. I just can't anymore.
[Help] Best laxatives
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Wed Jul 25 19:12:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91xt4i/best_laxatives/
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Iām having trouble getting back into my restricting and I need to purge myself of the food. What are the best laxatives? I already use natural ones.
[Rant/Rave] DAE cry in restaurants?
/u/ineedspf100
Created: Wed Jul 25 18:56:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91xotz/dae_cry_in_restaurants/
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So when I go out to a restaurant, I usually have a food in mind ahead of time that I'm going to order there. I fixate on that food and imagine what it's going to be like when I finally get to eat it. Last night I was going out to a restaurant that was known for having burgers and sushi. I was going to order sushi, and I had been thinking about eating said sushi all evening. When I got to the restaurant and ordered my sushi, the waiter told me they were all out of sushi for the night. I totally shut down. Told my friends that I just wouldn't order (not in a bitchy way). Most people can be flexible in these kinds of situations, they would just order a burger or a salad. But I felt so let down and disappointed that I wouldn't get to eat the sushi I had thought all evening about that I couldn't imagine eating something else. My friends told me that we could go to a different restaurant, but we had already ordered our drinks, and I felt so bad being an inconvenience so I just sat there for an hour while everyone else ate and I chewed on ice cubes. Went to the bathroom and cried about sushi. Can anyone else relate?
I just B/P C/S an entire dinner box from Pizza Hut. It wasnāt worth it.
/u/whereismaimind
Created: Wed Jul 25 18:50:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91xng8/i_just_bp_cs_an_entire_dinner_box_from_pizza_hut/
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So tonight I have the apartment free to myself. And I thought āWhat a lovely opportunity to binge/purge?ā So I ordered an entire dinner box from Pizza Hut for myself. Thatās a pizza, breadsticks, and cinnamon sticks. All to myself.
I went HARD on that thing. Half way through I needed to purge. Hereās the thing... it was a BITCH to get up. I chugged water and tried and tried and tried to get it all up. Finally when I was satisfied with the amount, I went back to finish the rest.
I decided to chug more water and chew/spit the rest of the box. An observation: thatās a FUCK ton of chewed up food.
Purged again.
Hereās what I learned: most food doesnāt really taste good after awhile. I pretty much forced myself to finish c/s the pizza because I didnāt want any left to tempt me. It was a bitch to get up. And I feel like I still ended up digesting at least 1500 calories. Now I am sitting here full of regret, feeling like shit. It wasnāt worth it.
TL;DR: Ate a whole dinner box from Pizza Hut by myself. Had a hard time purging. Didnāt even taste good after awhile. Wasnāt worth it.
[Discussion] When did you come out of denial/realize you had an ED?
/u/BIair
Created: Wed Jul 25 18:49:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91xn8e/when_did_you_come_out_of_denialrealize_you_had_an/
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For me it was when I purged the third time. I had originally thought it was "just a manic phase" and nothing else.
How to get rid of bloating overnight?
/u/Anonymous_fiend [5'3 | CW:122lbs | HW:145 LW:83]
Created: Wed Jul 25 18:41:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91xkyb/how_to_get_rid_of_bloating_overnight/
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So I have a photoshoot tomorrow but I'm pretty bloated. I drank too much diet soda and had soup today. TMI- I'm full of water weight and constipated too. Other than using a diuretic and laxative combo tonight what are some tips to flatten myself out? Should I try to drink more water or less? I'm not drinking or eating in the morning until after the shoot.
like a mirage in the distance
/u/sweetmarten
Created: Wed Jul 25 18:35:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91xjff/like_a_mirage_in_the_distance/
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Every time I inch towards a goal, I can almost *feel* the satisfaction of getting there, being able to stop, rest, exercise a little less, eat a little more and maintain my new, perfect body. When I get there, I'll be able to do all the things reserved for "when I'm tiny"; I'll be beautiful and whimsical and effortlessly light.
The ghost of that satisfaction is all I get to feel. As soon as I get close enough I see the destination shimmer and reappear further away on the horizon.
On to the next one, I suppose.
TFW you see a guy so insanely hot that he triggers you to restrict... AND he is fatter than you
/u/beryid [170 cm | CW 70.5 kg | M]
Created: Wed Jul 25 18:27:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91xh8m/tfw_you_see_a_guy_so_insanely_hot_that_he/
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Seriously, WTF brain
What am I not getting?
/u/Emp3r0r-_O [5'7 | 165.6 |BMI: 26| -54.4 |UGW 135?| 32M]
Created: Wed Jul 25 18:23:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91xfwv/what_am_i_not_getting/
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What am I not getting? (SORRY THIS IS LONG!)
Why is it so hard for people to understand that its difficult for some veterans to fully get adjusted back to the civilian life, where the thought police rein free. I have told most of my friends once we started to get to know each other that I have a poor vocabulary and talk like a sailor(Marine). My word choices will never be correct in a conversation due to the difference in dynamics between the military (no filter) and civilians (all them filters). I slip up, and I try to correct myself and learn from the interaction. That's just how it is, that's how I adjust. To preface, my partner isnāt bad all the time, she rarely has days where sheās a jerk.
I have a history with women walking over me, mainly my momās verbal abuse throughout our whole lives living together. I see now that I notice that I let myself get talked down by females (this does not happen with males). I endure it, and prevent myself from snapping back (just how mom used to tell me not to talk back). I respect people, but I think some people donāt respect me as much or we see respect in a different way. With that said, I ended up having a fight? Argument? I donāt really know what it was, but I know that I ended up with an anxiety attack and my partner after being triggered and me leaving the car to get air, while she got out of the car left me. She took my meds that I take to calm me down but I didnāt know how I fucked up that I just left home, depressed.(I got my meds back today)
The date we had that day, was great. Everything was going great. Our night wasnāt even over and I ended up screwing it up.
I donāt understand why sometimes my partner wants to talk about relationships and stuff in that matter if sheās very cynical. She has had a string of bad relationships, sheās younger than me and hasnāt been married and divorced like I have. So that part of my life is like a mystery to her, I understand and sheās trying to get to know me more.
So we started talking about exeās, and it led to mine. I explained what I felt went down in my marriage, and why I was at first mad at my ex. I donāt hate my ex, we have been childhood friends. We went through the falling in love (limerence) and then the love that you help your partner be the best person they can be. In the end we became toxic, we didnāt live together for a long time and it fell apart. I still love my ex as I would a family member, not romantic or emotional in any way. Just that we will always look out for each other like we have since we were teenagers.
Our conversations moved on to love. She doesnāt believe in it. It hurt me but its that she hasnāt had a good relationship. In a matter of fact, she stated this has been the most healthy and best relationship sheās been in. So eventually maybe we get there, maybe not, who knows? So she starts saying things like, love isnāt real and all that junk.
After she was done, I explain how love is confusing. We love cheesecake. We love our dogs. We love our family. We love our partners. We fall in love. Since sheās an English major she starts saying how one is a type of this sentence and what not. Destroying my position by sheer syntax or idk, thatās not my major. I get to the point where I was going to say that love is when you know your partner's flaws and donāt ignore it. You know both of you come short in some way and you guys help each other grow to become better people. Thatās love, love is the conscious effort and discipline to benefit each other. (read that from some book paraphrasing). I didnāt get to the ā I think love is...ā. So she just instead gave me the look of , well how about your marriage?
We move on, so she starts talking about how itās crazy that I was married, and I had a whole different life. (thatās fine, most people trip at my age, since I look younger I guess?)
She goes on to say, itās also crazy how you said that the divorce put you into depression and your whole life fell into shreds. (I was put off by this, I felt that it was a dig at my character)
I replied and said, āyeah I donāt think I am that great in relationshipsā. She said that I am doing great now.
She then continued by saying, āI canāt believe that you ended up being stuck in your living conditionsā. At your age, you would think that you would have your life together you know? But you are living like you are 21 and in collegeā (I am in college right now and this was the most I could take)
We changed the subject and we started talking about some other stuff and I ended up saying something very harsh and bad. Foul language as I am used to in the military. We are supposed to be each otherās safe space so I fuck up time to time. I said āYeah, thatās retardedā. I stopped immediately, then she starts her lecture on how its bad.
Before this, I slipped up as well before and she went on to ācorrect meā on my thinking, because my views on peopleās struggles is different from hers. I see everyone is struggling. She seeās a race struggling (we are both hispanic). I told her, I understood I was wrong, and now I know how to not make the same mistake. She reiterated and reiterated, and that annoyed me. I felt like she was talking down to me and basically saying that I donāt get what she is saying. What is there to get?
This time was much the same, but with the word I mentioned above. I said what I said, I became awkward because here comes an attack. She said ā you canāt say that, you have to say something like ā¦ā. I told her, I understand. She decided to try to find another word for it. I finished her sentence by giving her the word she wanted to hear. I chuckled because I was getting my anxiety attack and I felt awkward.
She got triggered by my laughing. I am guessing she does not like being ridiculed? I asked what was wrong, she said ā you triggered meā. I asked what was it that triggered you? She replied āSHUT UP!ā.
I left the car, shortly after she left. I felt destroyed. Most of this I found out by going over what happened.
I feel that sheās apprehensive of me, because I am a guy. Honestly she has a problem if I try to help in any way. Mansplaining or anything I donāt do, I just ask if I can. I can understand it's because of the dudes that sheās known and dated have wronged her. Her dad is not that great either, but she loves the guy. What I feel is that she constantly compares me to these other guys, like I am going to be the stereotype in her mind of men? I am not them. I feel like I am a good person just because the fact that I respect others (opinions, beliefs, struggles, etcā¦)
I do not know what I am supposed to do. I feel like I am trying a lot. I feel that she is not recognizing how hard it is for me.
Got home. Ran off the food I ate. Almost threw it up in the run (I would have loved that). Not eating again, because I donāt deserve this. I have no control of my life apparently. My hunger on the other hand, I have full control of. It brings me peace when everything just keeps crumbling apart. I hate life soooo much. I hate playing with a handicap.
So I guess I can find tranquility by going through these threads, and trying to help others, because I know I cannot help myself. Pathetic
TLDR
Had argument with partner. Donāt feel she understands and respects how hard stuff is for me. Tells me that I have no control of life, donāt know of love (due to divorce), I should be embarrassed how I live. She has had trouble with men before. Compares me to them (I feel). Triggered her at the end after she lectured me. I feel like an asshole. Depressed.
I'm just a mess
/u/strayclouds [5'4" | CW 102 | BMI 17.5 | GW 98|F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 18:20:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91xeyz/im_just_a_mess/
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Today started out well. I woke up early, got to skip breakfast, didn't have work and made plans to meet up with a friend. Later that morning she sent me a text saying her and another friend were going to a core workout class at the gym and invited me TO WATCH the two of them workout and then all hang out together. She knows I have an ED so she won't let me excersize but before I told her that she had promised to be my ride to the gym. I just feel like she's just rubbing this all in my face, she's been posting gym selfies on Snapchat while I'm being forced to eat fuck ton of food by my family. We had an argument a couple days ago about my ED and this being my body so you'd think she'd be a little more sensitive when it comes to this kind of thing but she hasn't. So I've been sitting my fatass at home and crying all day, forced to eat pizza for dinner with my family and sitting with all these fucking calories weighing down my stomach. I'm not allowed near the bathroom rn and I've been intermittently crying and self harming since then. Idk why I'm writing all this but I just can't stop crying and no one else will understand. I just feel so helpless rn.
[Discussion] DAE have kind of an addiction to food?
/u/croutonhoe
Created: Wed Jul 25 17:40:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91x40i/dae_have_kind_of_an_addiction_to_food/
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I 100% think my body is horrible and i need to lose weight, but i try and i try and it doesnt work. i start eating without even noticing and because i don't know how to throw up, i'm mortified and start crying. i feel like i'm the only one here that wants to not eat so bad but fails every time.
[Rant/Rave] my sister is borrowing the scale
/u/bigbeyoncefan
Created: Wed Jul 25 17:35:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91x2lb/my_sister_is_borrowing_the_scale/
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She just came over asked my parents if she can borrow for some time and will return in and Iām on the brink of insanity. I check like 20 times a day, before and after I use the bathroom, and before bed and first thing in the morning. I guess that Iāll be able to learn to stop compulsively checking my weight but I am praying the next time I step on ima few lbs less
[Rant/Rave] I feel fine but...
/u/idkhowtoeatwhoops
Created: Wed Jul 25 17:31:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91x1nj/i_feel_fine_but/
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... I still binge. Bingeing used to be a result of self punishment and anxiety and distress. It ran my life and I was terrified everyday.
The last few days though ... Iāve just been ... binging. Itās like Iām numb BEFORE instead of the eating numbing me like most EDNOS/BED binges tend to be.
Iāve been tired numbed out and apathetic this week and like I just ate a full family sized box of cereal (easily 1,200 calls and thatās after binging this morning by eating three meal prepped breakfasts) and like there is a little panic inside but also like... I donāt care.
By I hate my body and myself? And I want to eat more but I canāt decide what to eat and no food is satisfying I have a craving for something that isnāt food and Iām scared and embarrassed but also numb and I do not understand myself right now.
Iāve been avoiding the gym and Iām afraid I will literally never get better and have to go to res or some shit ugh.
Help.
to treat or not to treat myself
/u/crossdressingcarp
Created: Wed Jul 25 17:29:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91x15y/to_treat_or_not_to_treat_myself/
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do you just ever have those moments where you snap out of your ed for a second and realize that realistically speaking, you could eat *insert food* and still not gain any weight. hell, youād still lose!! (but then you give in and regret it later because even though you didnāt gain, you did not lose as much as you could have lost. yikes)
anyway. i have been eyeing those magnum ice cream pints for a while now and today might just be the day. š¤·š¼āāļøš
HA i ate too much again š
/u/ahrahtnamas
Created: Wed Jul 25 17:19:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91wy6r/ha_i_ate_too_much_again/
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I fasted all day in preparation for family dinner tonight...spaghetti....ugh. A plate full, two pieces of garlic bread and salad later I feel like shit. But also happy because I fasted up until this so I feel ever so slightly less guilty? But at the same time Iām like oh my god you have no self control. Tomorrowās another day I suppose...
[Rant/Rave] Iām in a weird mood... I just want to get drunk (TW)
/u/ShannonAnon
Created: Wed Jul 25 17:04:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91wtm3/im_in_a_weird_mood_i_just_want_to_get_drunk_tw/
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Wanting to get wine drunk, but Iāve already eaten a Luna bar, Chobani yogurt, and cashews today and I know Iām gonna want dinner...
(TW)
I also want to cut myself. So badly. I live with a roommate rn and she always sees me changing, and tomorrow Iām seeing my boyfriend for the first time in weeks so I donāt want anything obvious, but I know any place I cut will be noticeable... he wonāt notice but Iāll feel ugly with new cuts.
Iāve spent this whole summer being embarrassed about my old scars too. Some are so obviously new... God, I somehow hate myself for them and also desperately want to make new ones everywhere. Fuck Iām so stupid
[Rant/Rave] i hate sunburn :)))))
/u/angelic-rose [š¹ 5ā6 | 130 | 21.59 | 19F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 17:01:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91wsw1/i_hate_sunburn/
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my shoulders got burned pretty bad when i was swimming in the lake while camping last week. i was having such a good time before that...eating a lot and not feeling bad bc i burned most of it off. i even wore a bikini and didnāt completely hate myself in it!!! then i got fucking sunburned and subsequently gained weight from water retention. continued eating a lot since there wasnāt much else to do. my upper arms are already an insecurity of mine but then they got even more swollen. now iām peeling and stuck wearing t-shirts until my arms donāt look like they belong to a middle aged woman who doesnāt know what skincare is.
[Rant/Rave] Food in the house: damned if I do, damned if I don't.
/u/tacocat627
Created: Wed Jul 25 16:55:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91wr5g/food_in_the_house_damned_if_i_do_damned_if_i_dont/
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Any food in my house falls victim to my binge within 24 hours.
If I go the alternate route and don't keep food in the house, I'll eventually just get frustrated and hop online: 30 minutes later, an even unhealthier - and more expensive - binge is delivered (Domino's 2 for $5.99 each is my default, damn it's so good).
Either way, the binge is the only thing that shuts up the all-consuming battle in my head. Ahhis it's f-ing impossible sometimes. Thanks for letting me rant!
[Discussion] Is anyone else's main weight motivations surrounded the romantic interest of others?
/u/DenverTheLastDinosau
Created: Wed Jul 25 16:34:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91wldx/is_anyone_elses_main_weight_motivations/
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Before I was in a relationship, my main hashtag thinspo goal all throughout my teenage years was to be desirable by men. I'm bisexual, and always felt more comfortable having sex with women than men because I felt like they were more forgiving of my flaws, if that makes sense? I feel like I need to be perfect in the way men see me.
Now I'm in a relationship, my view hasn't changed, only now my main motivation is to look hot for my boyfriend.
[Discussion] DAE get addicted to other things easily?
/u/Bowdownpeasantz
Created: Wed Jul 25 16:29:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91wjok/dae_get_addicted_to_other_things_easily/
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Obviously Iām addicted to like restricting and stuff but lately Iāve been shoplifting and drinking and stuff like thereās no tomorrow. Iām just wondering if itās common for people with eating disorders to have addictive personalities?
[Rant/Rave] Iām having a panic attack because I ate 3 rice cakes
/u/speedayyyy
Created: Wed Jul 25 16:22:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91whyl/im_having_a_panic_attack_because_i_ate_3_rice/
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Thatās 120 calories. I was trying to fast today. I made the mistake of looking at thinspo then taking a nice hard look at my body and now Iām just curled up in bed crying because I canāt purge it since everyone is home rn. I fucking hate my fat disgusting body. I wish I could just cut off all the fat. Iām so stupid, why did I ruin my fast ?! I was doing so well š
[Rant/Rave] okay so Iām kind of stupid
/u/annoyingdoggy
Created: Wed Jul 25 16:18:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91wgut/okay_so_im_kind_of_stupid/
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Got out of a fast three days ago. Weighed myself after and was p happy with the results...until today. I just suddenly seemed to balloon and I felt like a bloated fat mess (which is a BIG mood lately). Well guess which dumb bitch forgot the no1 rule when weighing yourself? I chugged half a litre of water and a cup of green tea before weighing myself. I almost had a blown out panic attack because I didnāt weigh myself first thing in the morning. I am an idiot.
[Help] How to manage when thereās outside problems?
/u/smileybriley11
Created: Wed Jul 25 16:13:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91wfd7/how_to_manage_when_theres_outside_problems/
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So basically, my step dad is a douche and my mom is thinking of divorcing him. Itās been really hard on the whole family and itās been making my ED tendencies way worse. He came over to talk today and now Iām binging and barfing - something Iāve only considered once a year ago and never actually done. How do I try to manage when I feel like eating is the only thing I can control in my life at the moment? Thx
Inspo
/u/matildamotherfucker [5'5 | 150 lbs | 25.0 | 0lbs | F:hamster:]
Created: Wed Jul 25 16:06:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91wd99/inspo/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Pac-9Mrz34, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-Stfz1uRw4
[Discussion] Discussion: Trisha Paytas
/u/bunnywithbpd [5"1.5 | CW: 104 | HW: 130]
Created: Wed Jul 25 16:02:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91wbyl/discussion_trisha_paytas/
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I feel like she's actually the most honest RAW youtuber that depicts day-to-day life on binge-eating, relationships, diet failures and emotional breakdowns. There are compilations of her and her (ex) boyfriend where she makes insecure comments and is obsessively asking about her body, being in complete denial of her diet and bad food habits and and constantly bugs about "if he broke up with her because she's fat", cries while eating food and talks about how it controls her life and how insecure she is. She also does a lot of talk about extreme crash dieting, going on cleanses etc.
She also recently uploaded this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9F8BJm5whE where she gave up on her diet 16 hours in after posting a video before she would go on one, and shes literally video-taping herself crashing and talking about how she can't do it. And let's be honest here, how many of us have done this? lol
One of the things I noticed is that she's obviously unhappy giving up on her diet, even though she's going to binge-eat which we would think, "yes I can finally be happy and eat whatever I want" she doesn't smile at all, she's groaning, the whole time she looks regretful even though she hasn't eaten the food yet. It looks like she's already cheated mentally which is enough for her to just give up. Through just watching this through the lens I realize when people do cheat on diets, they're not actually enjoying themselves or being happy, they just gave up and let their animal brain take over and suffer on the inside.
Honestly, I find this very motivating to recover? I just realized I'm not even happy when I'm binge-eating. I'm still as miserable if I was hungry -- but now I'm miserable and full. You're basically seeing someone's daily life of BED and how it affects them on a daily basis through a 3rd perspective. When you watch these videos with a clear head, you just want to scream "What are you doing!?? You're not going to be happy from cheating, commit to your diet!" And it feels like you can't remotely grasp why she's doing this. Then when you're trying to lose weight and feel like caving, you remember watching that video of someone else caving with a crystal clear mind, and you snap out of it and stay committed. Like, sure, there's a lot of obvious reason a lot of people would find this "disgusting" behavior that you "shouldn't put on the internet" but she does depict what most people with binge-eating problems do behind the scenes -- she just posts them online for everyone to see. Her vlogs show a lot of how BED affects her whole life and makes you wish she would notice that and change. Even though she doesn't know it, she unintentionally does help bring light to the disorder lol.
[Tip] never use coke as an appetite suppressant
/u/yungbrrrat [5'8 / HW 143 / CW 138 / GW 122 / F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 15:20:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91vz3q/never_use_coke_as_an_appetite_suppressant/
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you think shitting with an ed is bad enough?
cocaine has seriously rinsed me out from the inside lmao combined with sweeteners and diet food it's HELL
Is Peach down for anybody, or is it just me?
/u/fragileraindrops [5'4" | SW:277 | CW:260 | GW:115 | -17 | 22f]
Created: Wed Jul 25 15:17:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91vya5/is_peach_down_for_anybody_or_is_it_just_me/
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I'm just seeing "503: HTTP 503 Service Unavailable: Back-end server is at capacity"
[Other] Big Mood
/u/Sockapoodledoo
Created: Wed Jul 25 15:13:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91vx75/big_mood/
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https://i.redd.it/13rpaol2u5c11.jpg
[Other] I did a thing!
/u/KattyWampus666 [:karma:163cm | SW: 123kg CW: 93kg | 27F:karma:]
Created: Wed Jul 25 15:05:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91vup9/i_did_a_thing/
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I went to the gym ALL BY MYSELF today! My gym buddy and I had a blow out and Ive been avoiding the gym ever since due to severe social anxiety... But today I did it and it wasnt THAT bad. Now if I can just convince myself to check out the free weight section...
Really, really hoping this will motivate me to get back on the horse with my diet... The last few days Ive been eating my feelings... Which needs to. STOP. NOW. (Ive put on some weight but hoping it is water?)
TL;DR: Overcame anxiety and went to the gym alone!
Just binged- now what?!
/u/li_hu_sh [5'3 | CW:115 | 20.9 |-5| Female]
Created: Wed Jul 25 14:54:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91vr80/just_binged_now_what/
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Oops I did it again... Iāve been ānormalā (whatever that is for me) for two months! I typically eat 750 cals but today Iām at 1200 thanks to a binge session including cake, chips and ice cream.
What can I do to offset the damage?? Canāt purge (donāt wanna plus I have a sore throat/cold) canāt excercise(sore throat hurts like a mother when I wheeze) canāt refuse dinner tonight (family dinner night at a buffet because we are good Americans).
My stomach hurts and I feel so guilty, Iām about to cry. Send help please.
[Goal] Finally slightly broke plateau with a NL!!
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 14:47:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91vp2y/finally_slightly_broke_plateau_with_a_nl/
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I saw 91 on the scale for the first time today. Couldnāt believe it when I hopped on and saw 91.8. Been between 92 and 95 forever!!! Iāve been drinking so much wine this week too, but restricting super heavily and Iāve managed to say no to sooooo many tempting foods this week, salad instead of pizza, not stopping for pizza and binging on fruit at home instead etc....idk I just had to share. I know itāll be back up by tomorrow but itās still so exciting!
[Other] Lying at the dmv?
/u/TinyLittleStars66
Created: Wed Jul 25 14:44:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91vo09/lying_at_the_dmv/
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Okay so I know lying is wrong and I probably wonāt be hospitalized for telling anybody at the dmv my actual weight....buuuut just cause I gave them all my information including my address I didnāt want to take any chances and gave them a slightly Higher weight than my actual. Does this make me paranoid or am I gonna get in trouble? Cause I can always say my weight fluctuates but still I canāt go to jail for lying about my weight can I?
ugh
/u/theprincesswitch
Created: Wed Jul 25 14:38:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91vmb7/ugh/
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ive been talking to this guy for a bit and he was starting to seriously help me get back on track and want to recover but then he made a post somewhere about an exercise plan for me and like he has good intentions but like it's making me really frustrated and i don't know what to do so i keep reading and rereading
[Other] [Update] What keeps you going?
/u/spaghetti_girl [5'3" | CW: 121 | GW: 105 | 20F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 14:35:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91vl2u/update_what_keeps_you_going/
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i dont know how much im going to tell them or if it's even going to help any, honestly. but after going through a bunch of shat (including calling a TWENTY-FOUR HOUR helpline and getting their voicemail MORE THAN ONCE) i have an appointment for therapy on monday through work.
i felt the need to update after all the support i got on my last post here. i don't think i got around to replying to everyone but i really appreciated every comment and they didn't fall on deaf ears.
unfortunately, the therapist i am going to see can only be a short term thing, but this has got to be a step in the right direction for me. i do think i want to get better, thank you guys for helping me realize that.
[Help] tmi but does anyone else notice they smell...weird?
/u/AgreeableReplacement [22Fš5'8š~100lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 25 14:32:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91vka6/tmi_but_does_anyone_else_notice_they_smellweird/
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ever since i started restricting i notice i smell different. not like BO because i hardly sweat anymore, but like this weird distinct smell. i notice it in my pee especially but i feel like its always lingering. maybe its food related but my diet hasn't changed aside from the amount i eat however i have been consuming more diet drinks and sugar free gum so maybe its from that? i also drink a ton of water so i dont think im dehydrated. lol sorry this is gross but ive looked into it and didn't come up with anything, im wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar.
[Tip] Advice to those lurking on here without an ED that are concerned about a loved one.
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_ [5'6 | CW 131.5 | GW 120 | UGW 100| F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 14:22:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91vh4i/advice_to_those_lurking_on_here_without_an_ed/
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Do not confront someone at a music festival. Even if you open up about your own experiences. Even if you are rolling face and the person you are confronting is sober AF. Even if you notice all the signs. Especially while they are eating food and the night after they ate food so they could have enough energy to drive /DD. Don't say they look great lately but all the weight loss. DO NOT BRING IT UP WITH FOOD IN MY HANDS.
No Binge Day 3! How has everything gone today?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | CW: 60kg| GW: 58kg | UGW: 50kg | LW:56kg | 25F ]
Created: Wed Jul 25 14:13:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91ve3l/no_binge_day_3_how_has_everything_gone_today/
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So it's day 3 for some of us, day 2 for some, and day 1 for some others! Every day is a new day :)
I haven't binged...even though I'm so tired and had an Asperger's attack (kind of like a panic attack) which made me even more tired - both these things are my binge triggers. So it's good that these binge triggers were overcome!
How has your day gone?
Question of the day: What is your favourite shop? Mine is Lush :)
Why is it so hard for me to fast for just 24 hours!!??!?
/u/agent_philcoulson [27F 5'4" | CW: 133 | GW: 120 | UGW: 115]
Created: Wed Jul 25 14:13:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91vdzc/why_is_it_so_hard_for_me_to_fast_for_just_24_hours/
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Seriously. I. Can't. Fast. I'm such a mess. I'm restricting to 1000-1200 calories and I really want to add fasting into my diet. But I'm such a mess that all I think about is food. Every time I try and fast, I can't even make it past noon without eating.
Any tips or help? I'm thinking maybe if I constantly sip on water, I can get through the day. Is there such thing as too much water during a fast?
Experience with hair loss
/u/jadewillowx
Created: Wed Jul 25 13:58:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91v952/experience_with_hair_loss/
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Hey guys, whatās your experience with hair loss? How/when it happens and what the process is like? Thanks
Halo Top
/u/Hatr1x
Created: Wed Jul 25 13:55:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91v84e/halo_top/
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So, I donāt like to go over 500 calories a day. Instead of eating food sometimes Iāll just eat a 280 - 360 whole thing of Halo Top and call it a day .. anyone else do this ?
isolation (fat girl with an ED)
/u/postrevolutionism
Created: Wed Jul 25 13:44:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91v4hc/isolation_fat_girl_with_an_ed/
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i'm so grateful for places like this subreddit and MPA (although not super active there and i think it's dying) because i get to be with people who just *get it* but i can never help but shake the feeling that i can never be too honest about my body and my actual weight. i've always been the fat girl and i don't mean chubby or an objectively skinny girl who calls herself that -- i mean *actually fat.*
it's not so much that people in ED spaces question my ED it's just that i can never shake the feeling that they're thinking "That fat pig, she *should* stop eating" which is probably the ED voice, but ugh. it's so tiring.
another thing that sucks is how no matter how sick i am people will always tell me i look so much better when i'm drastically losing weight. when the fat girl stops eating, it's great no matter how unhealthy i am. blegh. all i know is i hate this ED and i wish i could stop the bingeing, the purging, the restricting but i can't. i just want to stop but it feels like the safest place for me to be sometimes.
i have either the best or worst luck in the world
/u/junebug002
Created: Wed Jul 25 13:43:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91v4d4/i_have_either_the_best_or_worst_luck_in_the_world/
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my parents cleaned my room and found a scale, ex-lax, and empty bottles of light beer. they donāt suspect a thing.
What is my goal here and what am I living for?
/u/Ekawa [Height 5'3 | CW 115 | BMI 20.3| -50 |F/22]
Created: Wed Jul 25 13:42:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91v41w/what_is_my_goal_here_and_what_am_i_living_for/
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So my family got fed up and angrily confronted me about my ED and it got me thinking about what it is exactly Iām trying to achieve by losing weight. Like whatās the point? I feel like I want to do this until I become underweight and require more intensive treatment. Why though?? I canāt really do school right now because of how chaotic my life is due to the ED so what am I doing? And if all my lifeās focus right now is to need intensive treatment then what the hell am I living for? Anyone else struggle with these ideas? This reminds me of the time that I completely ignore everything else in my life when I was a teen, to indulge in my ED and smoke /drink too damn much. I had no aim in life then and just kinda drifted through life. Iām back there.
i'm trying to keep the food down
/u/retro-morte
Created: Wed Jul 25 13:09:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91utcf/im_trying_to_keep_the_food_down/
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i can't decide whether or not i should go into the bathroom and puke up my dinner. if i don't, i'll just feel very depressed and sad, and if i do, my throat will burn. i am honestly hoping someone encourages me to vomit rather than keep it down. what do you guys do for motivation?
Whatās a few M&Mās?
/u/coolmistmama
Created: Wed Jul 25 13:07:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91usrg/whats_a_few_mms/
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My building is having an ice cream social today which I obviously wasnāt going to participate in, but hey had my old favorite candy and I thought Iād get a small bowl of those and have one or two every now and then.
Granted like a total fat ass I ate more than that (about 1/8 cup) and now my head is pounding and my stomach aches from all that damn processed sugar.
Just a little ED reminder that I canāt eat normally even when Iām trying to break away from disordered habits. Feels like a fucking punishment.
[Rant/Rave] Fuck you, Wendyās. I SAID NO CHEESE.
/u/SqueegeeOujia
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:53:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91uo89/fuck_you_wendys_i_said_no_cheese/
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Just need to rant.
I know itās stupid but one of the only things I can eat from fast food places is wendyās chili. I know itās weird I know my brain is stupid I donāt care. I get it all the time because itās like 300 calories for a large chili and I can eat it for my one meal a day and sometimes itās so filling I end up saving half for the next night so even if the calorie count is off thereās no way Iām going over 200 a day that way, or at most 400 if I eat it all. I just like that it lets me get wendyās with my boyfriend and he can get his massive fast food craving satiated and I can have a filling thing too.
It doesnāt matter but anyway it comes with cheese on top and I always ask for no cheese super clearly. Today I ordered two so I could eat it for a few days because Iām too lazy to make meals right now and they put cheese on BOTH. I had to scrape out so much and all the parts the cheese might have melted into and ended up with so little left over that theyāre both over half empty.
Iām so fucking pissed off. Like whoever dumped cheese in it doesnāt care and doesnāt know that I just wanted to eat so badly tonight and now I donāt know if I can because I donāt know if the cheese is melted in somewhere and Iām going to get calories from it that I canāt count so Iāll have to either throw the rest out or purge it after I eat it now.
I just want to scream and pull out all my fucking hair. Itās all my fucking fault for being a fat disgusting piece of shit who is too lazy to cook. I hate myself. Fuck wendyās too. Iām so mad. I hate everything.
GlarySoft Malware Hunter Pro 1.62.0.644 Incl. Crack + Serial Key Full Download
/u/aryan167
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:51:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91undb/glarysoft_malware_hunter_pro_1620644_incl_crack/
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http://crackfullreal.com/glarysoft-malware-hunter-pro-crack-serial/
[Help] advice (tw)
/u/bigbeyoncefan
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:39:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91ujnv/advice_tw/
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I donāt have any other place to talk about this so Iām sorry if itās kinda off topic but after years of wanting to go to therapy I finally found a therapist that is covered with my insurance. I decided to look for a therapist after I relapse and self harmed for the first time in 6ish years I have really bad anxiety and Iām currently dealing with an ed atm and Iām just so nervous to going to see a professional for the first time idk why though!! Does anyone currently go to therapy (for ed or any other reason) any tips or advice to help me calm down?
How I get free food/save on it since I spend so damn much on it ugh
/u/anonymousbrahette [5'6'' | CW 154 |]
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:39:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91ujk7/how_i_get_free_foodsave_on_it_since_i_spend_so/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSrRacHSISs&t=130s
[Rant/Rave] I fast because itās all i can control [vent]
/u/SpiritedStrawberry [5'0'' | CW 113 | GW 88 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:37:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91uj0h/i_fast_because_its_all_i_can_control_vent/
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My life has been a dumpster fire lately. Work, school, and my personal life are all up in flames.
I know itās not healthy, but I love that I can fast for 72 hours frequently with no issues. It gives me power and control over my own life. Even though deep down I know this is probably just another one of my problems.
Does anybody else restrict for that same semblance of control?
I hate going to the doctor's office.
/u/LizE4 [5'3.5 | CW: 107.4 | BMI 18.7| GW: 105]
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:37:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91uiv5/i_hate_going_to_the_doctors_office/
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I had to go see my primary care doctor today so that I could get my papers signed for me to go get my driving permit (I'm nearly 18, it's about time!).
So first they took my weight and height. Turns out I'm actually somehow growing taller, so my bmi is way lower than I thought it was. Of course I got shit for losing weight though, and my mother spent the entire car ride home talking about how I better not be "trying to be anorexic" because "anorexic people are all disgusting bag of bones". I grit my teeth and sat through it. My doctor also told me that weed was going to put me in prison and that I was terrible and in the end refused to sign the forms because I'm "too mentally unstable" and so here I am, almost an adult and unable to take my permit test.
Like why is my mom even giving me shit about losing weight???? She's never weighed over 100 lbs in her entire life. Even when she was 9 months pregnant.
And what does my doctor think I'm going to do? Just because I have a drink or a smoke occasionally doesn't mean I'm going to drive high and drunk and kill people. Just because I have depression doesn't mean I'm going to go drive my car off a cliff. Last time I saw this doctor she tried to tell me that I was only gay because I must have suffered sexual abuse as a child. Like what.
I swear to god when I turn 18 I'm just going to refuse to see doctors unless I absolutely have to. I am so done.
Problems of small time model
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | can't weigh myself | pant 00 | Gender: none :doge:]
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:31:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91ugwa/problems_of_small_time_model/
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My new friend is several inches taller than me. I was scouted to model once, she's been scouted like three times.
Even before I was triggered to fully relapse into full ED restriction mode, I've always eaten less than half of what she eats.
Seriously - she eats three bags of chips, twinkies, and soda once a day, andhas two servings of every meal.
*I have half a serving of lunch & dinner and no junk food Ever.*
**Me:** on the slim side for a normal person
**Her:** sickly, scary, startingly thin
**I** should be the one who looks scary thin. I work so much harder. It's not fair.
I think I have been struggling with disordered eating for years and I don't know what to do or where to start.
/u/multnomah-coma
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:27:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91ufp9/i_think_i_have_been_struggling_with_disordered/
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I hope this is an okay place to post this.
I'm in my late 20s, now. I was raised by a bipolar narcissist who constantly accused me of being fat. He would restrict my food for days at a time when I was little. I remember sitting in my bedroom when I was like 9 years old, making a list of every food I could think of, I was so hungry. I remember thinking about eating the dog kibble in the hall, it actually smelled so good after a few days without food. My brother once got so hungry he risked sneaking into the kitchen to scoop chocolate drink powder into his mouth. Our stepdad caught him and strangled him. After that, my mom lost custody of my brother, and I was too terrified to try sneaking anything.
I left home at 16. As time has gone on, I've gone through phases with eating, but mostly, I just... *don't.*
I'm known by friends and family to be an excellent cook. My house is where my siblings gather for holidays and dinners. It's a joke that when I love someone, I show them by stuffing them full of food. We make jokes about how I'm going to make a great grandmother some day, forcing seconds and thirds on kids.
Sometimes I wonder if I just don't love myself enough to care if I'm eating.
I've never opened up about this. No one ever seems to notice how little I truly eat except my husband. I've been modeling for over ten years now, and honestly I think people see me, and think I'm put-together and beautiful and so I must be happy.
I'm tired of feeling tired and sick all the time, and I just don't know what to do any more.
Thanks for listening.
No one is skinny enough for me
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | can't weigh myself | pant 00 | Gender: none :doge:]
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:26:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91uf5z/no_one_is_skinny_enough_for_me/
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Women in porn seem overweight. Pop stars and instagram models are size 2-6 it seems. Even my former holy grail, kpop stars, seem to be gaining weight (or my standards are getting stricter).
Lily Rose Depp used to be my thinspo - she seems a little big too. *I can't find pictures of thinspo to save on my phone because no one is small enough.*
Blackpink used to be my ultimate thinspo but lately Jennie seems to be gaining weight - and simultaneously I saw someone post her in a bikini with the caption "I need to lose weight to look like this" or something.
The only people who really meet my standards are runway models and a few members of ShinEE. I guess I'm pushing my disorder onto everyone else.
anyone eat bulk veggies for harm reduction?
/u/ricemask [5'6" | CW: 150 | -3 | UGW: 115 | 20F | š: riceemask]
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:26:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91uf4i/anyone_eat_bulk_veggies_for_harm_reduction/
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My really skinny roommate literally takes a huge glass mixing bowl and eats straight up cauliflower and green beans that she lightly stir-fries. Sometimes she adds plain chicken to it. Even before we go out to drink she pregames with vegetables because she doesn't want her body to feel like shit.
Anyways, it's much easier for me to buy fruit and vegetables and I dunno why but I feel like it's much easier to put all my food in a mixing bowl and eat from there. Does anyone else do this? What are your gotos?
Keto to cut carb/sugar cravings?
/u/halostop [19.6 | Recoveryish | 23F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:21:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91udm7/keto_to_cut_carbsugar_cravings/
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I binge on most foods -- whatever is available -- but I primarily crave carbs. Does anyone have experience with keto and carb cravings?
I used to think that keto was totally worthless, but I'm starting to think of carbs/sugar as a drug addiction which I could potentially cut out and be "cured" from. I'm not trying to lose weight at this point, just limit the amount I binge and overeat.
I've never cut out carbs -- oatmeal, popcorn, and fruit have always been staples of my diet.
Is it worth a try, or is it pseudoscience?
[Rant/Rave] ranting
/u/notchillen
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:10:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91ua2c/ranting/
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I was out shopping with my mom yesterday and we were having a really good day until I was trying on bras and she made an unnecessary comment about how the bra was fitting me and how I looked and I just fucking lost it. we started arguing in the fitting room but it just made it so much worse. she knows I've struggled with Eds in the past but she never understood.
I feel like such a brat because we were out having a nice day, she took me school shopping bc I'm starting college in the fall but after those comments I fucking lost it and just went home.
I can't help feeling guilty for ruining the day with anger over just some comments she made but I just can't help the feeling of despair and how fucking sad she made me??? I'm very conflicted with feeling like a spoiled brat and feeling like my behavior was justified.
[Help] Quit or stay with my Psychologist
/u/tacocat627
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:07:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91u92z/quit_or_stay_with_my_psychologist/
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I have had 4 sessions with a new Psychologist who specializes in eating disorders. He's brilliant and, in the first two sessions, made enlightening observations about my disorder. Then he would end with explaining how the end goal/success will look. It was informative and interesting, but...
I have asked multiple times "yeah, I now grasp the conceptial aspect of what to aim for, but how do I go about getting there?" I know his job isn't necessarily to give me homework, but I do need direction; some tools to help me do the work and an agenda to help me understand how our future sessions will progressively get me to this goal.
Is there any benefit in continuing? If the last two sessions are any indication, it will be another back-and-forth of him painting the picture of my "goal me" and me saying "But how to I begin, measure progress, working with you as we move forward?" And hitting a dead end.
I'm not looking for a silver bullet, but I was hoping for assistance with my own strategy of working my ass off and hopefully making baby steps that add up over the long-term.
What are your dumbest "tricks" to keep from overeating?
/u/Flesh-And-Bone
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:06:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91u8pj/what_are_your_dumbest_tricks_to_keep_from/
---
Guzzling diet soda is a given, but what else?
Doubling up on fiber supplements so I get bloated and gassy so I won't feel like eating.
Chowing down on super salty foods then drinking a gallon of water because I'll retain it and won't feel hungry until I piss it all out for whatever reason.
Chew gum until my jaw aches because it at least gives my mouth something to do and if I eat some celery and chomp on gum it's kinda like I've eaten a whole meal.
Cram all my food into one evening meal so I feel super stuffed afterward even though I'm going to being ravenous a few hours later.
[Help] Can Somebody Just Lie to Me Today
/u/sad_diner
Created: Wed Jul 25 12:04:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91u7ra/can_somebody_just_lie_to_me_today/
---
So, I finished a popcorn mono to prepare for a week of 350 cal restriction. I was doing great. Three days in, no temptations. No pain. Doing fine. Last night my friends ask if I want to go out for drinks. I think, 'yeah, I haven't eaten anything yet, so I can spend my cals on booze'. Well... 1 vodka diet and 1579 cals of beer later I'm hovering over a friend's toilet puking. I know I barely got any of it out. So, sad, drunk and curled up on a cushion crying in my buddy's bathroom lamenting my purge failure I started to tell myself liquid booze calories aren't so bad.
So I guess what I'm asking for here is someone to lie to me and tell me I didn't just ruin everything last night. I've been slowly, but steadily losing and I can't take the thought of gaining. Especially from something as stupid as gorging on beer I shouldn't have had in the first place.
GridinSoft Anti-Malware 4.0.4 Crack Full Keygen 2018 + Activation Code Final
/u/aryan167
Created: Wed Jul 25 11:55:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91u51o/gridinsoft_antimalware_404_crack_full_keygen_2018/
---
http://crackfullreal.com/gridinsoft-anti-malware-4-0-4-crack-full/
I broke up with my boyfriend this morning
/u/LLazarus732
Created: Wed Jul 25 11:50:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91u3j5/i_broke_up_with_my_boyfriend_this_morning/
---
My heart hurts so much. He was so wonderful, truly one of the best, kindest, sweetest, most caring people Iāve ever had the opportunity to know, let alone date.
We were just really different which is the reason Iām giving everyone else.
But he also just didnāt understand my ED or my depression. And it fucking kills me but thatās one of the main reasons I had to leave and I canāt tell anyone in my real like because no one knows about my ED.
Iām just so so sad and so full of guilt because I know I broke his heart.
I donāt know how to cope with this.
Summer Weddings
/u/laisserai [4'11| cw: š³ | F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 11:03:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91tnpo/summer_weddings/
---
It is summer which means weddings galore! I'm Punjabi so our weddings are minimum 5 days long. There is a lot of events. I absolutely love this part of our culture, being surrounded by so much fun and love BUT I am surrounded by SO MUCH FOOD.
There is food EVERYWHERE and I am surrounded by people. I don't want anyone to see me eat. I don't want to eat this fatty food.
My cousins wedding is august 18th. Last year another cousin got married and a lot of my aunts commented that I gained weight. Not this time. I will be skinny for this wedding.
Do any of you guys have weddings coming up? I feel so anxious thinking about it!!
I screamed at my boyfriend.
/u/ohmylambda [5'9" | F| CW: 158 | GW: 125| BMI: 22.91 |]
Created: Wed Jul 25 11:01:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91tna1/i_screamed_at_my_boyfriend/
---
Not my first post, I'm just a weenie so I almost always delete stuff after a couple hours.
I almost got caught c/s a couple days ago, I was trying to (tw: gross shit) empty out the cup I was spitting into and my boyfriend came into the kitchen. He was already suspicious that I was up to something so I was on edge; he asked me what I was doing and I spun around and screamed at him to fuck off, leave me alone, get out. He looked at me like I had slapped him. I didn't know what to do, he left the kitchen and I finished destroying the evidence of my bullshit as fast as I could. I hate myself for this. Why the fuck am I like this. Thinking about it is making me cry...
ALL HAIL THE SPIRALIZER
/u/chrissylessthan3
Created: Wed Jul 25 10:49:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91tjfe/all_hail_the_spiralizer/
---
https://i.redd.it/mzq2blhti4c11.jpg
[Intro] Finally on track to get my ideal figure
/u/dumbfatpigeon [5'2" | CW 125 | GW 105 | BMI 22.9 | 19F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 10:43:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91thin/finally_on_track_to_get_my_ideal_figure/
---
Hello, I'm a bit new to this...
10 months ago I decided to lose weight, down from my highest at 153 lbs. All that time I spent fluctuating between restricting/binging (actually just eating enough calories to maintain). Last night I broke down in tears, knowing it's too late to reach my goal weight in 5 weeks before school starts again. I've lacked the discipline so far to keep fasting/restricting, it's been up and down, usually lose 3 gain 2.
Hoping I can reach at least 110 or something close to that... planning on switching between fasting and eating 300 calories max outside of social situations where I have to eat. I live alone so it should be manageable, no one to notice my consistent lack of eating.
Well, for the next 2 or 3 months (fuck I hope it's not that long...) diet coke, peppermint tea, and water are my best friends. Wish me luck.
[Rant/Rave] Venting. Idk. Sorry. Maybe.
/u/RedDeerLady
Created: Wed Jul 25 10:18:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91t9de/venting_idk_sorry_maybe/
---
I guess I should preface this with the fact that I don't think I have a diagnosable ed. But I have an unhealthy relationship with food.
The first time I thought I was fat or overweight I was 9. And I was. Growing up the power/water/cable would get cut off but god damn if there wasn't always soda and chips in the kitchen. My mom did (and does) struggle with her weight. I see her squeeze into a size 8 pair of jeans, hiked up to camel toe heaven and rolling out the top, and she touts that she's smaller than me. I can remember one time I was actually happy with my body; freshman year of college when my bf broke up with me and I didn't eat for ten days. I haven't seen that side of 135 nearly 8 years. And now that I'm getting my depression under control (Zoloft) and I'm on a b/c that won't potentially give me a fcking stroke (depo), I'm gaining even more weight. I felt such shame when I stepped on the scale and saw "172" a month ago that I couldn't even bring myself to record it in MFP. I'm on the downward trend now (almost -10) but I know the way I'm doing it is unhealthy and I don't know how I'm going to fix myself when I get where I'm going. I don't know if there is any fixing all of this. I don't even seem to have a problem really restricting below 1000 and I have the perfect out with people; I started Invisalign recently so it's, "oh I can't have my trays out for too long," "I forgot my toothbrush so I can't right now," etc.
I started doing ECA stacks this week. I think my boyfriend saw all the bottles in my bag this morning; caffeine pills, aspirin, ibuprofen, bronkaid, migraine Rx, depression Rx, anxiety Rx. I'm carrying a pharmacy in my bag for god's sake. And I don't even know if he realized or actually saw anything but I just felt shame again. Shame if I do, shame if I don't. Is there any winning? I go through bouts of not feeling like this. I eat "normally" and go to the gym and that lasts for a month before I cycle through over eating, under eating, and think maybe this time I won't be such a piece of trash. I'm counting the weeks to my vacation and calculating and recalculating how much I need to restrict to not hate the way my super adorable bikini will look on my land whale hips. Which I don't even hate! I like the shape of my body. But the second I pull out the measuring tape or step on a scale or try on that one pair of jeans just. Something has to give. I guess it's the gin and the sugar and food trucks and maybe just everything else while I'm at it.
[Discussion] DAE underestimate their calories to avoid a binge?
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|~117|23F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 10:18:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91t9br/dae_underestimate_their_calories_to_avoid_a_binge/
---
I read all the time about people OVERestimating calories and recording more than they actually ate "just in case." I have a habit of doing just the opposite. Often I'll underestimate just a bit - sometimes I'll record like half a serving or 1/4 cup less than I actually ate.
I do this because if I record more accurately what I actually ate, and go over my set amount of calories, it will inevitably trigger a binge. If I see that angry red number on MFP it's all over. Better to go just a little bit over my goal than to be accurate and promptly eat 2000+ calories over my goal, amirite? Anyone else do this?
[Rant/Rave] fuck being short.
/u/upupandawayay
Created: Wed Jul 25 09:54:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91t1kl/fuck_being_short/
---
i used to love being short and always wished i was even shorter when i was a kid. now, i wish i was 5'7+ and model like and gorgeous. tall girls can be a manageable (?) weight and be skinny as hell and no one suspects a thing because hey, theyre tall. my 5'3" (not even THAT short, i know) ass has to accept that 1. it is pretty hard to be 'skinny' without eating a little and having people comment on your weight and 2. i will never be a model or look good in photos (but god bless the ground angle that my friends showed me, it makes you look taller so my photos have been looking better lately on the bright side). ive always been suuuuper jealous of one of my friends who is naturally skinny but then she got a huge growth spurt this year and is like 5'6" now and now im like unhealthily jealous bc im by far the ugliest and fattest of all my friends (they probably hang out with me to make themselves look good)
i dont really even have an ed i just obsessively track cals, sometimes restrict (im very scared of restricting because i do track + xc in their seasons and summer and winter camps that go along with it, on practice days i would rarely ever), have a bit of food anxiety when i dont know the cals, and frickin hate my body and think im fat even though im slightly underweight. i just wish i was tall and i want to have like, a 5 inch growth spurt in my sleep (and not gain a pound in the process) ):
[Rant/Rave] I posted a selfie on instagram and someone unfollowed me.
/u/dre-ezy [5ā4 | CW 107 | GW 100 | 18FtM]
Created: Wed Jul 25 09:49:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91t010/i_posted_a_selfie_on_instagram_and_someone/
---
Damn :(. I thought I looked good. It's such a small stupid thing but I feel kinda crushed. haha..
Sometimes I hope my ED will just kill me
/u/justhush1 [5'4" | CW: alive | UGW: dead |]
Created: Wed Jul 25 09:48:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91szmk/sometimes_i_hope_my_ed_will_just_kill_me/
---
I've been in and out of recovery for the last two years, and put on 100 pounds due to a combination of anti-psychotic medication and just not caring. I've been living in a monitored environment for the last two years, but j am finally moving back on my own next week.
I'm upset because it's been two years of me trying to recover and I'm literally counting down the days till I can go full blown ED again. I have a plan to try to avoid going so extreme, but I dont know if I'll be able to control myself.
The worst part is, I'm fine being fat right now. I'm fine with eating. I'm fine right now. However, I'm naturally self destructive, and have no self control. I hate myself, and will do everything in my power to destroy my body. It's not just not eating, it's not sleeping, staying dehydrated, and other self harm behaviors.
I'm so exhausted with myself. I wish I would just starve to death and end this.
Thinspo that isn't just pictures of people?
/u/Call_me_Cassius [5'5" | CW: š | GW: 98lb | -25lb | M21]
Created: Wed Jul 25 09:46:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91sz4k/thinspo_that_isnt_just_pictures_of_people/
---
I hope this is okay and not something that needs to go in the weekly. I want to make my phone background thinspo but everyone I live with is really nosy and look at/comment on my background, so I don't want it to be a picture of a person/identifiable as thinspo. Do you have anything more abstract that motivates you?
[Rant/Rave] feeling good!
/u/sweaterbug
Created: Wed Jul 25 09:46:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91sz2v/feeling_good/
---
i've been restricting to 800/900 calories (i know that might seem like a lot to some people, i know me from 4 years ago wouldn't eat half that) a day after not dieting at all for 6 months and i'm finally feeling the sensation of hunger again!
this is a great sign 'cos i'm taking it to mean i'm losing weight. i started restricting 3 days ago so i'm v happy it's happened so quick! the last two nights ive been going to sleep hungry and it's such a good feeling. i'm just real proud of myself <3
[Rant/Rave] Had an interesting Interview
/u/UsualLetter
Created: Wed Jul 25 09:20:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91sr5o/had_an_interesting_interview/
---
I just had an interview with this cafĆ© opening up in my town. Theyāre 100% vegan and gluten free and it triggered me so much but I oddly loved it. The whole time he talked about how much he hated sugar and processed foods and how much he hated fat. I was terrified he was looking at my thighs and thinking of how much he hated me. I want to job so I can starve myself more efficiently almost. God thats so twisted but Its why I want it. I need to be skinny and this is only going to help
[Other] My affair with... Stretch marks
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | SW 130 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 09:12:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91sosh/my_affair_with_stretch_marks/
---
I want to take a moment to appreciate stretchmarks in a new light.
I developed mine early on on my breasts, hips, and that bit between the hip bone and the arse. I had American sized C-cups by the time I was 12. I was a full hourglass by the time I was fourteen. It all felt like it was overnight. Itās hard knowing no matter how hard I try, I canāt get rid of them. Itās like this constant reminder that I was āfatā. They were my scarlet letter for a long time.
Now, theyāre kind of a badge of honour. I still view them the sameā a reminder that I was āfatā. However, I wear them more like silver medals I painted gold. Look at me, I was fat, but not anymore. Look at me, a āsuccess storyā, with old stretchmarks that wonāt get new friends because Iām āthinā.
Anyway, I shared this for anyone who maybe felt similar. Your stretchmarks arenāt negative remindersā theyāre positive. Youāve come a long way. Keep going.
Severely restricting my caloric intake
/u/ljodzn
Created: Wed Jul 25 09:09:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91snnv/severely_restricting_my_caloric_intake/
---
I am a mom to an awesome 2 yr old son. My pregnancy body is still hanging on, I'm not *fat* but I'm not thin & hot like I used to be either, I hate how I look. We don't have money for a gym membership (among other excuses why I don't regularly exercise) so the only way I see to drop weight is to restrict my caloric intake.
It's been 2 weeks, I fast until lunch, for lunch I only eat a yogurt (or the caloric equivalent), then eat a semi-normal dinner. My husband is happy because we aren't spending so much at the grocery store! So far so good, only a minor slip-up on Monday when someone at work brought in pumpkin bread (that shit is catnip) and I ate like half of it. I'm not being hard on myself, pumpkin bread won't end me.
My goal is to cautiously enter a state of functioning anorexia. I have an acquaintance who is a fitness model, her discipline and will power around food inspires me.
This is my story and I wanted to share it. I appreciate all of you on this sub, thank you for being here.
Worrying over dumb things...
/u/Ineedthinspo [5'6 | 146 | 23.6 | -45 | ]
Created: Wed Jul 25 09:04:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91smal/worrying_over_dumb_things/
---
I was doing laundry and suddenly realised that my sweaters were drying on high heat. So I spazzed out that they were going to shrink(they didn't)... but even if they had they're L-XL sweaters from FreePeople. They were massive on when I got them, and I've lost close to 50lbs since... even if they shrank they'd still be oversized.
Can't believe I almost had a heart attack over that. Anyone else have silly things they've freaked over?
[Rant/Rave] I wish my family would just let me STARVE
/u/motivation-cat
Created: Wed Jul 25 09:01:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91sl4l/i_wish_my_family_would_just_let_me_starve/
---
My family doesnāt even know how agonizing it is to be forced to eat.
Theyāre always forcing me to serve myself more food and always questioning what I eat and pressuring me to eat more snacks. I DONT WANT TO EAT. WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT THAT TO UNDERSTAND????
Iām not even skinny!!! Or malnourished!!!! Iāve probably GAINED weight since my eating disorder was at its worst!!!! IM FAT RIGHT NOW!!
I know they just āwant the best for meā. But I wish they would just leave me alone and let me starve myself. Itās none of their business how much I eat. Itās not like I donāt eat all day, I just donāt eat a lot!!
JUST LET ME STARVE!!! LEAVE ME BE!! IF I WANNA BE SKINNY THEN LET ME BE!!!
I think I found the root of my ED
/u/paavllova [šø 5'5 ā¢ 99 lbs ā¢ 16.5 ā¢ f šø]
Created: Wed Jul 25 08:21:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91s8xk/i_think_i_found_the_root_of_my_ed/
---
When I was younger, like 5-10 could eat whatever the fuck I wanted and stay stick thin. My mom would always make comments about it like 'do you have worms?' and 'I don't understand how'. She didn't mean it in a rude or mean way she always said it in a joking tone. When I got older I noticed I had gained a few pounds and was *very* disappointed in myself. I guess since at such a young age I was surrounded by comments about how thin I was I felt I *need* to be thin to live up to the comments my mom made.
Just something I've been thinking about.
I keep wanting my weight to go down, even i am currently underweight
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Wed Jul 25 08:00:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91s2oc/i_keep_wanting_my_weight_to_go_down_even_i_am/
---
and i dont know why i do this to myself... i am really not ready to recover, and it seems like never will...
just wanted to let my thoughts out in a place who will understand me..
[Rant/Rave] Restricting and fasting is so hard to do when your parents know what to look for.
/u/comrade_toastboy
Created: Wed Jul 25 07:48:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91rz7c/restricting_and_fasting_is_so_hard_to_do_when/
---
Itās just so frustrating that I canāt eat such low calories days anymore.
[Rant/Rave] My mom said Iām too fat so the only lunch I can have is half a pint of low calorie Ice cream
/u/anxiety-and-theatre
Created: Wed Jul 25 07:41:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91rx88/my_mom_said_im_too_fat_so_the_only_lunch_i_can/
---
She said I need to work on my weight so if I eat 135 calories of Ice cream I canāt have lunch.
What the fuck.
Like mom, are you trying to actively encourage an eating disorder? How is this a good idea?
She also once told me that I could fast for 3 months and at least Iāll be skinnier then.
This is not the shit a 16 year old girl needs in her life
[Rant/Rave] I'm reposting this because my other profile has the same username as all my other profiles and I wanted to remain anonymous
/u/Fucking1Password
Created: Wed Jul 25 07:10:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91roqh/im_reposting_this_because_my_other_profile_has/
---
First off, I recieved a new phone recently and I'm still trying to get used to the keyboard so please forgive any spelling errors.
Anyway onto the meaning of this post, my SO (significant other) has a lot of trouble with mental disorders, I as well have been diagnosed with a few. I don't take the medicine though because I hate feeling like I have to be dependent on some pills and they make one gain weight.
I don't talk a lot about my troubles with him or anyone because that's just how I am, and he is the complete opposite. It seems like he is almost always talking about him and how he feels about something, which I don't mind. I love when I can help him through something, but when he refuses to eat and says things like "oh, have I eaten today? I can't remember" or "I haven't eaten today, I should probably eat" the way he talks about eating is very similar to what someone would call an attention-seeker, it makes me hate myself for eating that day and so I relapse and restrict heavily.
I've hidden my ED from everyone because I know they'll make me stop, and I don't want to stop, so I'm sure he doesn't know about me, but it still digs into my skin. On one hand I want the comments because it gives me motivation, but it also kinda pisses me off because sometimes it seems like he's making fun of me in a "you ate more than me so I'm better at ED's than you" which I know that's just my paranoia, he doesn't mean it like that.
Wow this is long, I'm just going to end this scrambled mess, I'm sorry, I'm not very good at writing down my thoughts.
Reading Wasted has made me realize Iām not as close to recovery as I thought I was
/u/leontevskaya
Created: Wed Jul 25 07:03:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91rms3/reading_wasted_has_made_me_realize_im_not_as/
---
Rant incoming...
Guys, Iām in a funk. I started Wasted a while ago and have been picking it up and putting it down. Every time I sit down to read it, Iām completely entranced because I feel like she is writing my own internal monologue throughout my life. On the one hand, holy shit Iām not the only one that thinks like this???
And on the other.... so many of the mannerisms of my core personality mirror the perfectionist, body hating, body fighting Maryās throughout her schooling. My body has always been a tool. The enemy. I havenāt gotten to the point of thinking of my body as part of myself. I havenāt developed love or respect for my body. I may not restrict heavily and I may only throw up once or twice a week, but the *mentality* is STILL THERE. I feel hopeless, like even though Iām trying so hard to do everything right (eat balanced meals, eat above 1000 calories daily, exercise regularly but not obsessively, take care of my appearance) Iām still that angry little waif girl from high school that traded restricting to 100 calories a day for binging in freshman year of college, then traded that for obsessive over exercising while eating nothing and drinking half a handle of vodka 4 days out of every week.
How does anyone break out of this cycle? I donāt want my body to be my enemy but all I can see is how much it resists when I try to make it bend to my will.
Maryās describes her idea self as an aloof, graceful, feminine and powerful woman with a commanding presence of mind and a body that could float away.
Guess who has literally developed an aloof, dominant female personality, guys? Guess who works in a male dominated industry and gets off on knowing that I can command respect (if only I was thin enough)?
Fuck.
I know y'all will relate
/u/anamiabella [5'4" | CW 111.8 | GW 107 | 20F]
Created: Wed Jul 25 06:38:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91rgbp/i_know_yall_will_relate/
---
It's 10:30pm and you're as gassy as a balloon, farting like crazy, cramping, and rushing to the toilet to shit out sludge. You sit there and you imagine one of those big cardboard spinning wheels that they have on game shows.
Host: "let's spin the wheel and find out - what's making this bitch's digestive system so fucked up *today*?"
You spin the wheel - the options fly past!
One: the four laxatives and six diuretic pills you took today?
Two: the artificial sweetener in the entire family-sized bottle of diet coke you drank today?
Three: the artificial sweetener in the entire packet of sugar-free gum you chewed today?
Four: the artificial sweetener in the protein bar (your favourite safe food - look at those macros!) that you ate to prevent a binge?
Five: the fact that you purged twice this week and your body doesn't know how to digest *anything* anymore after years of this shit?
Folks... I can't believe this but... it's all of them... cause I've fucking done all five today.
[Other] Hamstrings
/u/InactiveDegenerate
Created: Wed Jul 25 06:22:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91rcev/hamstrings/
---
Okay this is gonna sound weird but hear me out.
When I first started purging, I knelt down on a towel because it hurt my legs to stand. As time went on, I'd stand over the bowl under the assumption that it would make for \~easier passage\~. Initially I couldn't straighten my legs all the way because it was too much of a stretch on the hamstrings, but over the past couple years I've noticed that I can comfortably place my hands flat on the ground, and bend sharply at the waist with little trouble. I just find it funny (in a morbid way), that bulimia has made me more flexible. So it's not all bad.
Daily Food Diary! July 25, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 25 06:11:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91ra13/daily_food_diary_july_25_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 25, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday July 25, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 25 06:11:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91r9x3/way_to_go_wednesday_july_25_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for July 25, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
(Redo) Gluttony triggered me
/u/BronArianwyn
Created: Wed Jul 25 05:23:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91qz2k/redo_gluttony_triggered_me/
---
I had wrote this all out then promptly deleted it because I was freaking out and worried I sounded intolerant and ignorant and over all invalid.
But its STILL haunting me.
Big family came into work tonight. At first only ordered two entrees, with which to divide among their many many children.
Then it rapidly turned into them asking for extra. Extra. Extra.
Usually that's fine, no big deal I'll give you a bit of an extra topping or side.
The sheer amount became so much that we couldn't fit it on the tray, the bowls were about to spill over themselves, and then what couldn't fit reasonably on the bowls and trays they wanted on the side, multiple extra sides.
So of course I had to charge them for it all, good handful of extra bucks since they just kept demanding, literally..
demanding;
"...and triple this on there, some extra of that please, more? Little bit more? More, more, more?"
The food was becoming..sickening.
Trying to get away with TONS of free food and getting upset when I charged them, which I knew would happen after explaining it three times.
by then I'm all ready anxious and struggling to stay cheerful and carry the amount of food for them.
and just being around it, witnessing it..i began to feel panic, so much food so near..in my very hands. I was sweating. a bit shaky.
even now the day after I'm FUCKING HAUNTED by the constant pointing and not even asking,repeatedly demanding
"MORE, MORE, MORE."
I cant freaking cope. I've all ready cried. it made me never want to eat AGAIN.
It's not until you start counting calories that you realise how fucked up your perception of food really is...š©
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Wed Jul 25 05:05:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91qv1r/its_not_until_you_start_counting_calories_that/
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https://youtu.be/59wWrRgiAF0
Need advice
/u/Herecomesthesun239
Created: Wed Jul 25 05:01:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91qu8g/need_advice/
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I really need to up my calories but I'm struggling and don't really want to eat at all. I'm very weak and nearly fainted getting out the shower this morning. It's hot where I am too and I'm worried I'm getting dehydrated by not taking care of myself properly. Also the heat means I don't have much of an appetite and only really want to eat fruits and vegetables. How do you guys up your calories so you can function better when you barely want to eat at all? I'm thinking about stopping getting on the scale for a week or so because I'm in the middle of a plateau and it's just making me feel worse :(
[Rant/Rave] Spiraled this week feeling a big failure
/u/babycardi
Created: Wed Jul 25 04:36:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91qpad/spiraled_this_week_feeling_a_big_failure/
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**Sorry about length and format Iām on mobile and in bed and canāt properly make it pretty!!**
Had been down 8lbs as of Thursday...On Friday had a girls night and was already dreading it... I went out to dinner with my friends and ate way too much even though it was family style and didnāt even eat dessert
Then we went to the club...then my best friend decided to KILL girls night and leave us to fuck her guy friend bc she clearly āwill be so busy soonā even though she saw him the night before and the night before that so fuck hanging out with your friends when we had been planning this for a week right? NO GUYS INVOLVED but i guess fuck your friends lol
It really upset me idk why so I drank WAY more than intended and stayed out until 5 am puked a little then had to be at work at 10 am the same morning...I work in a restaurant so the morning chef made me pasta for family meal instant regret but that Mac n cheese was perfect
Ended up being stressed AF and worked 10 am until 9pm that night...got Jack in the Box and ate so much the next day I was fine didnāt really eat much of anything bc I weighed myself in the morning 6lbs GAINED wanted to kill myself
And yesterday our restaurant is permanently closing down so we had a big party and so I INDULGED pasta dessert wine jager beer salad cheese š© got home around 2 am and had to work to clean out restaurant at 11 am and got McDonaldās fries bc Iām so hungover
I weigh still about 5 lbs more than I should not 6 but Iām just so sad...wish I could vent to my friends but they get tired of it I donāt normally eat that much fast food but Iāve been so stressed lately and I hadnāt eaten much in about 5 days before my night out itās gonna take me so much work to get back to restricting that much again Iām so pissed so even though itās bad for me make a smooth move tea with three bags I know it has no benefits to weight loss but I wanna be/feel ācleaned out
I know my friends just care and want me to be healthy and eat but I just donāt understand how they eat out all the time they donāt even exercise ??? They eat out literally every day and donāt exercise
I get panicky thinking about it and Iāve had no time to even think about the gym lately
Lol tell me Iām not a psycho š©
Maybe when I'm thin he'll love me
/u/wannathrowyouaway
Created: Wed Jul 25 04:11:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91qkfy/maybe_when_im_thin_hell_love_me/
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I have this idea in my mind that when I'm thin I'll finally be enough. He'll tell me I love you, he'll show interest in my life, I'll be better than his ex and maybe he'll stop talking about her. He won't ignore me or make me feel like shit, he won't act like I don't exist.
Maybe. Probably.
[Rant/Rave] My Boyfriend made an awful comment and now I just want to go back to never eating again
/u/Temperance_tantrum
Created: Wed Jul 25 04:02:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91qigx/my_boyfriend_made_an_awful_comment_and_now_i_just/
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This is my first post in this sub.
Iām mostly ārecoveredā from serious ED behaviors. I still have body dysmorphia, I change my outfit approx. 2 million times every morning, and I hate myselfābut Iām otherwise outwardly āfineā and āhealthyā aside from occasional low-key purging. My boyfriend knows I struggle with my self image and he knows I had a battle with these behaviors in the past.
On the way home from furniture shopping today, we stopped at the supermarket. Iām PMSing so I grabbed a bunch of those stupid Marie Callanderās chicken pot pies that are like 610 calories for one. They were a fear food for me for a while, but Iāve generally gotten over my aversion to them because they remind me of my childhood. He makes a silly comment like, āare you going to eat all those tonight?ā With four pies in my hands, I nod and laugh it offāthough feeling generally uneasy. As weāre checking out and Iām paying, he says something along the lines of, ācome on, letās get you home so you can eat some of these 10,000 calorie pies.ā I freeze. I feel a knot in my throat and I ask him to repeat himself. He repeats himself and then backpedals a little bit and stutters something about how he knows theyāre just very... heavy and dense. I start to full-on panic, and now Iām holding this bag full of pies at the end of the self-checkout with tears threatening to become a downpour on my cheeks. I make a beeline for the customer service to return them. He stops me and grabs the bag and I practically run out the door to the car where I burst into tears while he tries to make every excuse to avoid apologizing for his idiotic statement. Heās confused and doesnāt understand why Iām freaking out and having a full blown panic attack (something heās already bad at bringing me down from, cuz he always looks for some sort of rational trigger when the whole issue with panic attacks is that theyāre often irrational??) He eventually apologizes later, once Iāve finished crying long enough to drive and we reach home.
I feel godawful now. I took a few laxatives to make myself feel better and now Iām up at 5am regretting it. I felt practically catatonic last night, just numb and awkward. I didnāt want him to touch me and I didnāt want to speak to him. Iām just really sad and I want to start over. I just know if I slip down this rabbit hole, Iām in for a serious period of irritability and self-loathing; one that could potentially ruin this relationship. Iām just frustrated. Guess Iām buying new batteries for my scale tomorrow.
[Rant/Rave] Like many other people on here, I don't know how to feel about this
/u/UnAveragePencil
Created: Wed Jul 25 03:31:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91qcla/like_many_other_people_on_here_i_dont_know_how_to/
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First off, I recieved a new phone recently and I'm still trying to get used to the keyboard so please forgive any spelling errors.
Anyway onto the meaning of this post, my SO (significant other) has a lot of trouble with mental disorders, I as well have been diagnosed with a few. I don't take the medicine though because I hate feeling like I have to be dependent on some pills and they make one gain weight.
I don't talk a lot about my troubles with him or anyone because that's just how I am, and he is the complete opposite. It seems like he is almost always talking about him and how he feels about something, which I don't mind. I love when I can help him through something, but when he refuses to eat and says things like "oh, have I eaten today? I can't remember" or "I haven't eaten today, I should probably eat" the way he talks about eating is very similar to what someone would call an attention-seeker, it makes me hate myself for eating that day and so I relapse and restrict heavily.
I've hidden my ED from everyone because I know they'll make me stop, and I don't want to stop, so I'm sure he doesn't know about me, but it still digs into my skin. On one hand I want the comments because it gives me motivation, but it also kinda pisses me off because sometimes it seems like he's making fun of me in a "you ate more than me so I'm better at ED's than you" which I know that's just my paranoia, he doesn't mean it like that.
Wow this is long, I'm just going to end this scrambled mess, I'm sorry, I'm not very good at writing down my thoughts.
[Rant/Rave] Found out my weight
/u/elite-alien
Created: Wed Jul 25 03:24:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91qbe9/found_out_my_weight/
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I've been restricting pretty hard for the last few weeks, but also binging pretty hard every week or so. I started to feel better about my body because I fit better into my work pants... I got up this morning to start back on my medication. I stopped taking it because it made me gain weight (but it was totally just the binge drinking). I told my boyfriend that I was going to get breakfast after my appointment! He was so happy for me and told me to get pancakes! Exciting.... While I was at the doctor she asked me how I was and all that, I lied about my eating and sleeping habits because I just wanted the pills I don't need you to talk to me about my feelings. Then she weighed me. My heart leapt out of my chest. 59kg. I was trying to avoid my weight. I haven't weighted myself since the relapse. Probably for about a year. I was avoiding the number. I was terrified and knew it was better off I didn't know... I didn't get pancakes. I've probably only gained 15lbs but FUCK THAT NUMBER.
Iām getting fat. I need to stop eating.
/u/FrankWest21CP
Created: Wed Jul 25 03:10:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91q8u8/im_getting_fat_i_need_to_stop_eating/
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I can feel the double chin and waist expansion. Iām letting myself go. I need to stop eating. I canāt be fat. I wonāt let it happen.
Am I becoming anorexic ?
/u/Varthaxx
Created: Wed Jul 25 02:55:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91q5xo/am_i_becoming_anorexic/
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The past 3 month my life have been either boring or a complete mess.
My 1 year relationship SO broke up with me, I went to the police station to file an handrail against an ex-coworker that was stalking me, and my mother told me she wouldn't come to my wedding if I ever get married because she doesn't want to see my father, even if they divorced 23 years ago.
Now I'm alone, trying not to become insane (because of my stalker), ans sometimes I hardly understand what's going on. And I think that I needed to empty a lot of things in my life... including my stomach obviusly.
I lost 14kg (30.8 lbs) in the last 2 months, and I really feel good about it... and I don't want to stop. Eating in front of people start to makes me unconfortable because I used to eat a lot and now I'm just not hungry, I don't want them to judge me on my habits, and I don't want to explain to them why I am like that now.
I just want to feel pretty and good with myself, but I see people around me starting to worry about nothing (at least for me it's nothing).
But this morning I realized I haven't eaten in the past 48 hours and I'm still not hungry, I tried to eat something but it was a fail, like if it was blocked
Have you experienced something similar? Or have some advice ?
exhausted honestly
/u/river-of-souls
Created: Wed Jul 25 02:23:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91q0am/exhausted_honestly/
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I just binge ate like 4000 calories, and now i'm lying in bed, and my fucking stomach has the audacity to rumble? I literally feel hungry again wtf. Does this happen to anyone else?
[Goal] chronic pain + Trauma + ed relapse
/u/instantanarchy [5'3 | 132 | 24BMI | FTM]
Created: Wed Jul 25 02:15:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91pyss/goal_chronic_pain_trauma_ed_relapse/
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this is honestly about 50% rant and I'm sorry about that but i don't have anyone irl who's equipped to handle all the Big Scary Topics here so I'm writing it out in the hopes of getting some sleep
basically
the other day i was assaulted/threatened with death walking home and it's opened up a whole host of familiar and exciting trauma responses in me - my fibro is flaring like a motherfucker, I'm dysphoric as hell, super irritable, losing sleep, and i just want to restrict until i disappear.
one thing I've found myself fixated on is that my chronic pain has significantly flared up in my legs and hips, but in my past 4 months or so of recovery I've gained enough that i can't fit "comfortably" into my leg braces anymore. braces (that actually work) are too expensive to have to get two pairs depending on whether I'm a "small" or "medium" this month. so instead of a goal weight, i have a goal size, and that's "small enough to fit into my leg braces so i can move without crying constantly".
all totaled i cut my intake completely in half today. wish me luck i guess. šµ
[Discussion] "Filling" Foods
/u/tobethinspo [5'0 (153.3 cm) | CW: 96.8 lbs | 19.62]
Created: Wed Jul 25 01:45:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91pt7v/filling_foods/
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To me there's a difference between high volume foods and filling foods.
Sure a giant plate of veggies makes me feel full, but it'll last max 20 minutes before I'm starving again. Whereas a protein bar will be denser and won't actually make me feel full, but I won't be hungry for a significant amount of time after (2+ hrs).
Can we come to some sort of agreement on what foods we call filling? Are we all refering to high volume foods? Or foods that make you not hungry?
I keep seeing "so filling!!!" on r/EDfood for things that wouldn't keep my hunger at bay for long at all. Maybe I'm just a whale who'll never not be hungry idk
Freaking out about food weight
/u/chrissylessthan3
Created: Wed Jul 25 01:17:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91pnri/freaking_out_about_food_weight/
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After gaining 15 pounds from medication I decided to go back to ED style habits. I quit the meds two and a half weeks ago and have been eating 800-1100 calories per day for the past week (i know it sounds like a lot but a lot of it is from wine...that's the worst to give up)
I was losing weight at first and got down to 127 but for whatever reason haven't been able to go #2 for like 2.5 almost 3 days...my weight has been creeping up...Almost back to where I started two weeks ago (130 now, was 131).
I can't deal with going through all of this and being completely hopeless that I'll never be thin again. Can someone please help me cope or give me any hope or info about food weight??
Future MIL and Fiance Both Humiliated Me In Front of Future SIL
/u/ThisIsMyEDThrowaway
Created: Wed Jul 25 01:04:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91pl0a/future_mil_and_fiance_both_humiliated_me_in_front/
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I made Teriyaki chicken, veggie stir fry, and white rice for dinner. All was fine until Fiance saw my plate and realized I had no Teriyaki sauce or chicken. Just rice and veggies.
He's been tired of my "ED" and me being "difficult" to the point where he made me spend $20 on some generic pseudo positivity ED recovery book. I didn't want to but I did it for him.
So he grabs my bowl and puts a bunch of chicken and Teriyaki sauce on it. I've never really been too vocal about it but I've mentioned it a few times that I really don't like anything Teriyaki. It just tastes too sweet to me. So I scarf it down for argument's sake and as I'm trying to eat my ruined dinner, my Future MIL is in the background just humiliating me.
FMIL: "I had a patient come in today, you know." (She's a nurse for an Urgent Care)
Me: (sad eating noises)
FMIL: "She had an eating disorder, and only ate once a day. And thought she needed to lose more weight even though she was already too skinny. You need to start eating more"
Fiance: "wow doesn't THAT sound familiar."
FSIL: (Staring at me like she's sad for me)
Then I finish all the food because I really didn't want that fight. And he POURS MORE INTO THE BOWL. Because I ate it so fast so obviously I was hungry. No... I ate it so fast to get it over with and now I'm full of food I didn't want and regret.
I ate part of it bc he literally was pushing the bowl at me to the point where it was about to spill in my lap. And then dumped the rest. And then rush to the room and haven't spoken to Fiance really since. Just cried in the shower.
Future SIL texts me from the other room that she wanted to intervene and stick up for me but she wasn't sure if it'd make things worse and prolong the conversation. I'm kinda glad she didn't bc it would have made matters worse but the fact that she was so understanding made things a bit better. I just met her recently bc she lived out of state despite being with Fiance for 3 years. I told her I didn't blame her for not visiting.
**TL;DR:** FMIL and Fiance both outed my ED to FSIL who I just met and basically humiliated me, ruined my dinner, and still made me eat it whilst scolding me like a naughty child.
Moving makes me feel like Iāve achieved nothing and itās so demotivating
/u/Whose_cat_is_that
Created: Wed Jul 25 00:33:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91pewc/moving_makes_me_feel_like_ive_achieved_nothing/
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Since March, I decided I really needed to stop with the binge eating and sort myself out. 800-1000 calories a day and 24 hour fasts once a week or so. Nothing drastic, but the kind of stuff that would get me an earful of criticism from other subs that I wonāt name. I lost 10kg in a couple of months and was finally getting comments about how I was looking slimmer. However, now Iāve moved country, no one knows what I looked like a few months ago. Iām back to just being the office fatty. I even mentioned in conversation the other day about how Iād lost 10kg (I was shocked to find I needed an M sized uniform, not an L or XL). And i could see my coworkers looking at me in disbelief.
I know it sounds dumb but now Iām back to feeling like the fatty, itās so hard to carry on with restricting. I was to restrict more, but my boyfriend lives with me and we even work at the same office. There is no way he wouldnāt notice. Sorry for the rant everyone. Sometimes I feel like this is the only place where people understand how Iām feeling.
I told myself not to eat untl my bf came home... he was VERY LATE.
/u/carnavas_
Created: Wed Jul 25 00:07:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91p9gd/i_told_myself_not_to_eat_untl_my_bf_came_home_he/
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I had leftovers in the fridge and i told myself not to eat them this morning bc it was a lot of food and i definitely would have purged. So I said I would eat it when bf came home, usually between 5-7. Well all I had other than that was some pretzels which i feel bad about for some reason and part of a quest bar. He didn't come home until 10!!! I was going fucking crazy like come home so i don't pass out! He told me that was stupid but I know he likes me losing weight so I'm gonna keep on my bullshit. AND i was drinking vodka all day like a mess. Is anyone else like this?
Large family at work legit upset me
/u/BronArianwyn
Created: Tue Jul 24 23:51:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91p663/large_family_at_work_legit_upset_me/
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I'm unsure how to voice this because I cant fully understand why. But it as a large family, and they had mentioned it was Ramadan for them.
At my work we do serve many members of the Muslim community and I'm familiar with it because of the rushes we get right after dark in summer. and I guess i feel terrible for even getting triggered over this at all but
This large family came in and they just kept ordering more AND MORE extra things that they assumed would be free. just, doubling up on toppings and sides and sauces to the point we could hardly fit the food on the trays and bowls.
Sure, a little extra is okay we dont fuss about that at work but this degree of "Triple this, little bit more please? Can I have even more?" So i had to start charging and I tried to be very polite and never said they couldn't have it but time came to pay..and just..it was unacceptable that they had to pay for the amount they wanted to begin with.
Afterwards i just felt really upset... the amount of food actually unsettled me, or maybe is it because I have no idea what real portions are like?
just the whole "More, more, more more?"
Or i was upset because they had fasted the whole day and were so rude and pushy to eat and there i was, unable to wrap my head around a normal amount of food? I'm sorry this is long..might delete it for being way too ignorant.
[Rant/Rave] It all goes downhill so fast
/u/fernsandfoxes [5ā6ā|CW:107|BMI:17.34|GW:100|18F]
Created: Tue Jul 24 23:44:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91p4w9/it_all_goes_downhill_so_fast/
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Doesnāt it? When I got back from inpatient I thought I would try recovery and was eating at my TDEE for a bit. Then I thought āmaybe Iāll try to loose the weight healthilyā and started eating at 1200. That was fine for a while but it still wasnāt good enough so 800 it was! Now, after a rough day, I only deserve 500 calories and Iām right back where I was at the beginning. Thatās the lie this illness tells us, just a little more and maybe things will be better. The truth is it wonāt be happy until Iām dead.
I've made myself throw up a couple times this week and I'm afraid I'll keep doing it.
/u/GemRocking [14F | Current: 5'4" 142 lb BMI 24.4 | Goal: 110 lb BMI 18.9]
Created: Tue Jul 24 23:38:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91p3i5/ive_made_myself_throw_up_a_couple_times_this_week/
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I don't actually have an ED, but I lurk here because I can relate to a lot of your thought processes, as I have OCD and *horrible* self-image (added secondary diagnosis of BDD).
What I eat and how I look has always held a massive part in how much I value myself. I have zero self-control when it comes to food; I overeat chronically, I can't resist. I've always been on the edge of overweight--if I gained two pounds, I'd be there. I hate nearly every aspect of my body. I hate looking weak, like I can't restrain myself. I hate looking feminine; I want to be skinny enough I'm androgynous. I hate feeling like a nasty, ugly dyke.
I tend to really overeat when I'm anxious or depressed about something. It can get bad, but I wouldn't describe it as bingeing.
Several days ago, I ate about 1,000 calories of ice cream in one sitting--after lunch. The guilt was worse than normal. I flipped out and stuck my fingers down my throat to try and make myself throw up. I had to have jammed my fingers down a good 20 or 30 times, sometimes gagging, and I was just spitting up mouthfuls at a time. Until my throat hurt and my knuckles were all scraped up from my teeth, and I'd not gotten much up, but I felt awful and I was covered in my own puke and I stopped.
But then I did it again yesterday. I was baking cookies, and I just kept eating the dough. Eating and eating it. Halfway through, I decided "fuck it, I've already blown it" and I started downing water in between munching on this super rich cookie dough. As soon as I put them in the oven, I went outside, bent over, and made myself throw up on the ground--again, it wasn't much, certainly not near everything in my stomach. It was difficult and I had to give up when I'd dipped into my throat a good 15 or so times. But it was much easier this time, and I purged more of what I'd eaten.
Each time, I felt awful as I was purging. It was so disgusting, dirty, and difficult. It just reminded me how disgusting *I* am, a filthy pervert piece of shit who can't stop cramming my face with sweets and starches. The entire process of eating and throwing it up is almost like self-harm. But then, once I throw up, I feel a little better about the overeating, a little less guilty.
That's why I'm afraid I'll purge again: it will get easier each time, and it's so tempting. I know I need to not make this habit; I don't want to fuck up my throat and voice and teeth and face. I know how unhealthy this is for your entire body. I know that the far better solution would be to just put the fork down and learn some self-control. I'm scared now, though, because I've done it now and I know how simple it is: water, fingers down throat, gag, repeat.
[Other] Time to die I guess
/u/PM-ME-ROAST-BEEF [168cm | CW š³ | GW 65kg | F]
Created: Tue Jul 24 23:32:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91p2at/time_to_die_i_guess/
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https://i.redd.it/06uw267261c11.jpg
[Help] Cravings during period??
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 115 | 17.95 | 14.2 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 24 23:18:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91oze1/cravings_during_period/
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Iām having a particularly difficult period rn and did a lot of chew/spit with dark chocolate and cereal, Iām so mad at myself. How do you guys deal with sugar cravings on your period?
Will I annoy my roommates with my food habits?
/u/rutababeba
Created: Tue Jul 24 23:16:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91oz2i/will_i_annoy_my_roommates_with_my_food_habits/
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Iām going to be moving into an apartment with three girls and it just dawned on me that I could potentially be really annoying to them with my eating. I measure and weigh pretty much everything I eat. Should I try to give this up for the sake of being more normal for them? Or try to play it off as something I need to do to prevent binge eating? :(
[Rant/Rave] overcoming those negative thoughts uwu uwu uwu
/u/serketcircuit [5'6" | CW: Landwhale | They/Them]
Created: Tue Jul 24 23:16:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91oyzn/overcoming_those_negative_thoughts_uwu_uwu_uwu/
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my ed brain says that if im skinny then maybe someone will think im attractive or ill have friends or acquaintances or any semblance of a fucking social life really
but having been through recovery i know thats bullshit, because nobody gave a shit about me when i was thin either. i just have a disgusting personality. i should starve myself for ME
[Intro] I think I belong here. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I haven't felt this strange about my body since high school.
/u/the-shell-knows-all
Created: Tue Jul 24 22:50:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91ot5b/i_think_i_belong_here_im_feeling_a_little/
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Hello everyone. I've been a lurker for some time. I have read multiple posts and find I relate to many of them. Basically the title. I think I need support.
Lately I've been feeling really bad about food in general. Like I don't want to eat but I'm compelled to. I eat one meal a day which is generally capped at 900. Which I guess isn't disordered in and of itself. However it's the associated thoughts that come with it. I feel so guilty after I eat anything. Even a healthy meal. I force myself to eat but I just finished a 3 day fast and I felt so happy until I broke it because I was with my family all day. I HAD to eat. I ate lunch AND dinner. I ate sushi and for dinner I had sirloin and quinoa. I mean we just got back from the mall and I barely fit into a 4P. I have gained weight as of late so I felt so bad for eating I got so anxious that I threw up in front of my mom in the kitchen sink. She thought I overate and told me I was disgusting for not watching what I ate. (She's so wrong. Food is always on my mind, it's nearly all I think about.) I kept throwing up until I emptied my stomach. And I felt so relieved. I felt lighter and happy that I didn't have the food inside me anymore.
But now I'm crying because I know my boyfriend and I are going to have some big meal on thursday and I just don't want to eat like he does. I wish I could enjoy food guilt free instead of calling myself names but I so desperately want to be little like I was in high school again. Which is funny because back then I hated my body. I hated that people called me skinny when all I could see was average or fat. Now I'm struggling to see reality. Some days I genuinely think I look great naked. Other days I hate looking at my naked body and want to carve out the fat.
I check my body and can see the figure I want. I picture it. And if I get there I think my boyfriend will be more attracted to me too. He hasn't touched me in months and I think it is because I'm not the 118lb girl with the hour glass figure that he met. I take meds now that made me gain weight. I got depressed a couple times and gained about 30lbs. I lost 18lbs but I just don't feel right in my body. I just want to be tiny again. I really miss that 95lb girl so much.
Tips to help me gain weight?
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Tue Jul 24 22:41:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91or88/tips_to_help_me_gain_weight/
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I always feel guilty when I eat... is there anyway I can eat more calories but feel less guilt, if you know what I mean? How can I gain weight but be eating less food, but still filling my stomach?
Thanks. Btw I am vegan and I'm Indian. I'm vegan for ethical reasons, and was vegan before my ED
[Goal] Hit my first goal weight!!
/u/spaghetti-tacos
Created: Tue Jul 24 22:35:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91optw/hit_my_first_goal_weight/
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It took longer than planned, but iām really happy. Now my next goal doesnāt seem too far away. I want to get thin so when I go back to school people will be shook. Now the dream is soon going to be a reality!!!!
"Just don't eat as much!"
/u/Jenny_Roberts
Created: Tue Jul 24 22:24:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91onim/just_dont_eat_as_much/
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(Can't flair, on mobile)
Mom asked how my weight loss was going. I told her I was waiting until a few days after my period to weigh myself so I didn't get discouraged for something I can't control (B L O A T I N G)
She said "you seem to have lost your vigor for losing weight, you lost a ton early this summer".
I agreed, but said the ability to count calories was a huge part in me realizing what I'm eating, and I've been without wifi for the past several days and didn't have access to MFP or a calorie tracker or ways to measure food.
"You don't have to count calories! You just eat until you're full and then stop!"
No.. because then I'll interpret any emotion for a reason to eat, and the more I eat the more hungry I become. So I fast for a while to "reset" my body to be full with a calorie deficit.
She refused to believe calorie counting had anything to do with it, even though I lost 15lbs/month if I counted. I just underestimate otherwise.
She's 5'5 and 128 for the past 10~ years. Some people just don't understand that you just CAN'T trust your body/mind to make the right judgement right now. Not super furious, but irked and frustrated.
Why do you want to be thin?
/u/nihilistatari
Created: Tue Jul 24 22:06:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91oj40/why_do_you_want_to_be_thin/
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I have been in an awful binge stage recently and I am getting out of it. So, I need motivation. Why do you guys want to be skinny?
I am a male, and, and I want to do it for fashion/clothing purposes, mainly. I can only wear one torn shirt right now, because I look the skinniest in it, and shorts because I hate my legs. I want to be able to wear whatever I want and to be admired. I don't have any friends, but, I just don't want people to look down on me, I guess.
[Rant/Rave] I swear I could scream
/u/communalistwitch [5'3" (161 cm) | 110 lb (50 kg)| BMI: 19.3 | 20F]
Created: Tue Jul 24 21:57:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91ogso/i_swear_i_could_scream/
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The way my mom is around me, I have hope of neither being thin (hitting GW) nor achieving real recovery.
When Iām not eating all she can seem to do is force me to eat. Push and push and push, purposefully try to get me to consume high kcal foods, interrupt my intermittent fast, etc. A few months ago at a restaurant with some family friends I didnāt eat and she loudly said āoh sheās dietingā in a mocking tone just to force me to eat and I didnāt budge but I cried to sleep that night. Some weeks ago she started forcing me to send pictures of what I ate for lunch. She knows Iām easy to trigger into eating and mercilessly exploits that.
When I do eat however she only comments on how Iām eating like a pig. Comments on how the foods I eat are too high in calories/fat/sugar. Gets her friends to make fun of me for eating too much. Just an hour ago I tried to order a virgin Bellini, and she said (in English even though thatās not our first language) āyouāre not ordering that, itās too high in sugar and youāve eaten too muchā in front of the waitress, who then also said āyeah itās very sugaryā ā a real confidence booster, right?
She wonāt stop commenting on my behaviour. I wish I were like my sister, who eats less and less the more upset she gets. Iām the opposite. The worse she makes me feel, the more I want to eat but the less Iām able to eat around her, so I wait until she wonāt see me (could be two minutes or two hours) and then go on full binge mode, completely mindless, until my mind feels comforted. Maybe itās binge eating disorder, but Iām beginning to think I donāt even have a disorder ā Iām just spoilt and donāt want the pleasure of āfoodā to be absent from my life.
Sometimes Iāll get periods of my life where food is difficult to eat, but then other times I feel like this again. Itās horrible to say but I wish I could barely stomach eating. At least my mom wouldnāt get everyone to call me fat. Iād rather her mock/bully me over being too thin and not eating, rather than what Iām going through right now.
[Help] Anyone else who restricts/ is a lower weight have a HIGH heart rate??
/u/quinoaslut [5'4"| 110 | 18.9 | -10| Woman]
Created: Tue Jul 24 21:46:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91oecg/anyone_else_who_restricts_is_a_lower_weight_have/
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You always hear of anorexics w low HR due to a weak starved heart but mine is always on the high to abnormally high side. My resting is like 95 bpm and working out even lightly it skyrockets into the 180-200 range which is dangerous. Itās been like this my whole life and Iāve never been overweight, Iām on the border of underweight and vegan. Iām restricting to between 500-1000 cal a day rn and have no fam history of heart disease (outside of my overweight prediabetic fam). Iām confused and concerned and it makes me feel like a not real anorexic. Anyone else?
[Discussion] Anyone play MMORPGS?
/u/Nude-prude [5"7-123lbls-F-peach:nudeprude]
Created: Tue Jul 24 21:24:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91o96w/anyone_play_mmorpgs/
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Odd question i know but i just wonder if anyone plays any online games ! Maybe we could start a guild lmao. Anyhow if you do play what do you play?
I love Tera and blade an soul. (Probably because their cuuuute classes)
[Help] sugarfree sweeteners?
/u/sweaterbug
Created: Tue Jul 24 21:18:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91o7p3/sugarfree_sweeteners/
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sorry if i've tagged this under the wrong thing, i'm pretty new and still learning how this sub works haha.
i'm one of those ppl who LOVES sweet things, i'm talking 3 sugars in my tea/coffee, if not sugar then a lot of honey. since getting back into calorie counting i've realised that it all adds up and if i have 3 coffees in a day i've had almost 200 calories because of how much sugar and milk i use. does anyone have any sugarfree sweeteners that they like?
i've read that sugarfree sweeteners make you gain weight, but i don't know how true that is. if anyone knows abt that, pls let me know!
also i'm looking for milk alternatives that are less calorific but i'm real picky about it so haven't found anything yet. i've tried almond milk, oat milk and soymilk.
thank you!!
[Discussion] whatās your type??
/u/heyyyygirl
Created: Tue Jul 24 21:11:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91o653/whats_your_type/
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Before my ED I was always into skinny guys but idk now I really like buffer/bigger guys. Think those muscular guys that arenāt totally lean and have some body fat on them. Those body types are soo attractive to me now. I used to like those twiggy skater boys but now football guys have my attention lmao. I think itās the whole āwe want what we canāt haveā complex you know??? Now that iām underweight I want somebody who looks strong- whereas when I was chubby I wanted a skinny person to validate that I was attractive (?) Anyone have any thoughts?
[Rant/Rave] My health insurance sucks and I donāt even deserve help
/u/ilikepizza6665
Created: Tue Jul 24 21:07:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91o53t/my_health_insurance_sucks_and_i_dont_even_deserve/
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So my insurance sucks and wonāt cover a therapist near me that specializes or has experience with EDs. I would ask my parents for help finding one (Iām 23 I feel like thatās relevant?) but Iāve brought up how I feel before and my mom doesnāt think itās an issue (even though Iāve brought her to my other therapist in order to explain when I was in treatment two years ago but clearly that didnāt work). I feel like I wonāt be able to get help until Iām sick. Last time I had better insurance and I wasnāt technically underweight, just riding the line and I hid it pretty well until I lost my period and shit starting getting bad and my doctor found out. Now Iām at a healthy weight with no symptoms beyond always being constipated. I just feel alone and I donāt know what to do. I donāt feel like I deserve help because Iām not āsickā and sometimes I feel like Iām faking it.
Short lil rant about phone therapy
/u/FinickyFireflies [5'5 | Cw: 142lbs |BMI: 23.6 |LW: 140 |GW: 110 | Non-Binary]
Created: Tue Jul 24 20:58:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91o2v6/short_lil_rant_about_phone_therapy/
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Just called a teen help line. Talked to the lady that answered for a good 20 minutes about my issues with food, self harm and thoughts of suicide. She gave me a number to call to get personal help, ended the call with her, called the number, and an automated voice told me to call later. Spent the next 20 minutes crying/laughing hysterically. Now my head hurts and I just feel incredibly numb while watching Netflix.
Have you guys feel abit off after fasting?
/u/shortyaten
Created: Tue Jul 24 20:54:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91o1z7/have_you_guys_feel_abit_off_after_fasting/
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personally I think I have to try a water fast for the next 48 hours... I really hate my bf he ends up projecting to me be skinny. Don't be a trophy girl be the girl that is worth more than a trophy.
[Rant/Rave] I really hate being on my period.
/u/speedayyyy
Created: Tue Jul 24 20:47:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91o07m/i_really_hate_being_on_my_period/
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My belly is bloated like 3x the size it normally is, Iām weighing heavier than normal, Iām tired/cranky, and Iām craving food like hardcore so itās more difficult to fast. I even ate real food this morning and didnāt purge for the first time in a month fml still feel guilty even tho it was good as hell. I just want to be skinny. More than anything else. I cried looking at myself today because of how fat and ugly I am. Now Iām laying in bed cramping so badly that itās hard to fall asleep :(
[Other] Note To Self
/u/dragaynite
Created: Tue Jul 24 20:36:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91nxfk/note_to_self/
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Today was a bad day. You havenāt been sleeping well. The stress of a chaotic, disorganized and unfulfilling life has been weighing you down for so long. You snapped and binged your sad little heart out until your previously empty stomach expanded in pain. You kept going a little longer until you sat there, crying, feeling utterly humiliated and worthless. You dragged yourself to the bathroom, and hugged the disgusting toilet seat. You tried to purge but only managed to dry heave. Youāve never forced yourself to throw up before, and fortunately today wasnāt the first day. You felt like a failure. You went to your room and cried until you couldnāt stay awake any longer. You finally shut your eyes.
Then you woke up, you went to work, and carried on like normal.
Today was a bad day, but tomorrow is a new one right around the corner. Itāll be okay.
[Rant/Rave] no balls whatsoever. (tw)
/u/ihadenoughbs
Created: Tue Jul 24 20:33:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91nwur/no_balls_whatsoever_tw/
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Fuck it. I'm fully back to my old habits.Ā
I burnt 103 calories and I will burn more tomorrow morning at the gym.Ā
If I don't move out in 4 years after college, I hope I starve to death.
Obviously it won't work because apparently my stupid fucking body doesn't want to give up considering I should've died from my bad laxative addiction when I was 16-17. (I used to take 25 pills daily) and all that purging and restricting.
I know I won't have the balls to fucking move out because I'm such a fucking scaredy weak ass pussy ass little bitch.Ā
I really, really, REALLY hope this undiagnosed "eating disorder" kills me.
I. Really. Fucking. Hope. So.
I just want to feel relief
/u/SpaceWhale88 [5'3 | CW land whale | HW 197 | LW 122 | 30F]
Created: Tue Jul 24 20:26:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91nuws/i_just_want_to_feel_relief/
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I'm really struggling in recovery (newbie) and I so want to binge and purge right now. I just want to feel relief. I've tried all my coping skills. I ate a reasonable amount today. I went for a walk. I drew. I bullshitted online. I called my sponsor (she didnt answer and we have a set time to talk each day). I've reached out to others in OA. I took a klonopin. I ate a CDB gummy. AND I JUST WANT TO EAT A PINT OF B&J AND PUKE IT UP. I cant make this desire go away. I've been vaping since I got home from work to suppress my appetite. NOTHING I know how to do is making this feeling go away. I think I might just break and do it anyway.
Nothing beats the feeling after a purge. I cant take it anymore.
Long term fast (1 week) while studying?
/u/Highoffempty [5'9|CW: 143.3 | GW: 120 | UGW: 106 |Lbs lost: 16.7]
Created: Tue Jul 24 20:13:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91nrdb/long_term_fast_1_week_while_studying/
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I am on 80 of 168 hours of a fast I planned. Before that I was just on a keto diet.
Yes the hunger gets bad and I don't really care about that because I'm punishing myself for my disgusting binges recently.
What I am worried about though, is brain function while fasting. I am taking vitamins/electrolytes/drinking enough but I don't seem as "quick" while studying and I find that it requires a lot more effort. I have four important assignments due in a few days and I want to know if it's all in my head or if I actually have a valid reason to break the fast?
Of course I want to continue fasting. I've heard that the brain functions better on a fast because it's getting energy from fat (I love that)...but do any of you find that long term fasting and studying don't mix well?
[Tip] ACV + blackstrap molasses
/u/h1217579
Created: Tue Jul 24 20:02:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91noor/acv_blackstrap_molasses/
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Has anyone tried this? A huge glass of ice cold water + 1 tsp ACV and 1 tsp blackstrap molasses. Tastes just like apple juice!
[Help] scale is different than nutritional label??
/u/3pinkelephants
Created: Tue Jul 24 19:52:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91nlzs/scale_is_different_than_nutritional_label/
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this is a throwaway account bc reasons but....i measured out a rice cake roll that is 40 calories for 10g (one roll). on my food scale it says 14 grams, which would mean 56 calories instead of 40?!? I measured out 2 and theyāre both actually 14 grams instead of ten. Iām wondering if itās bc of the air in the rice puff/roll or something . I know itās not a big deal but to me itās a HUGE deal somebody tell me if itās heavier bc of the air. 56 calories is enough for an oreo so I need to know if I should go by the label or the scale. Thanks.
I ate 4 cucumbers today.
/u/kcvis [5'4"|CW 123|GW 110|BMI 21.2|M]
Created: Tue Jul 24 19:51:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91nly7/i_ate_4_cucumbers_today/
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Full sized. Foot long cucumbers.
I'm very full but I'm still under my calories.
Mpf says it's got tons of potassium and vitamin c.
Cucumbers are amazing.
Has anyone read the book Intuitive Eating? Have you found it has helped your disordered thoughts?
/u/czechczech
Created: Tue Jul 24 19:30:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91ng7f/has_anyone_read_the_book_intuitive_eating_have/
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I read it and have been integrating the concepts into my life. I have found it really helpful so far, but I still have a hard time not mentally counting calories. I have to really consciously stop myself from doing that. Other than that the ideas behind it have been a godsend. What do you guys think, if you've read it?
Emotionally unsupportive boyfriend makes restricting so hard but so easy
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Tue Jul 24 19:28:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91nfm9/emotionally_unsupportive_boyfriend_makes/
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Having a weird day where the guy Iām dating just went to the gym and I wonder what he would do if he came home and I was lying dead on the floor. Or cutting myself. Or purging. This is messed up, I get it - didnāt eat today and just crushed a bottle of wine but heās the same guy who told me he doesnāt want to sleep with me anymore because Iām ātoo skinnyā....then gets all weird tonight after inviting me over and I ask whatās wrong and he tells me he wants to go to the gym. Which I love. So I ask why he didnāt tell me before, I wouldāve brought workout gear, and he says āwhat did you eat today like 600 calories? It would be completely pointless for you to come.ā
In the grocery store yesterday he was looking at a kind of bread he liked and commented it was only 500 calories for the loaf which I was totally down for, so I took it and looked at the nutrition facts and we realized he thought they were for 1/3 of the loaf when it was actually 1/9. And the load was almost 2,000. So he put it back. And I said āno donāt not get it because of me!!ā And he said, loudly āIāM not anorexic so wouldnāt make a difference to me anyway.ā
I wanted to fade into the wall.
I keep eating less than 300 a day and then I meet with him and I try so hard. Tonight he wanted egg salad and actually seemed to have no problem with me doing mine separately, only egg whites, weighing everything.....until the gym conversation.
I tried a soft approach. I said āplease, Iām sorry I made you angry but you need to be able to communicate with me after 8 months....(itās worth noting he still wonāt commit or agree to an official relationship in any way even though we spend every day together, go away every weekend, have dates with coworkers and parents etc.....) and all he said was āyou need to stop telling me that I have to do anything, I donāt have to do shitā
Iām just so broken. Like yeah okay, maybe I shouldnāt say he needs to do anything. But he hurt me and I tried to swallow it down and communicate instead (v hard with borderline) and he just totally freaked out.
Now heās at the gym and Iām drinking the rest of the wine wondering how he keeps his walls so high. And how I fell in love with him. And how I could possibly shake him. Last night I looked up at him when we were cuddling and he (genuinely annoyed) said āyou seriously need to stop looking so fucking sad all the timeā
Hey, asshole, you know I have depression, severe anxiety, and Iām battling anorexia, and yet you reduce me to this idea that Iām choosing these things.
I donāt have a point to this. I just needed to get it out. I love you all.
[Rant/Rave] Hung out with some friends tonight
/u/DontLickIt88 [5ā8ā| CW: Land Whale | GW: 115 | 29F]
Created: Tue Jul 24 19:25:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91neur/hung_out_with_some_friends_tonight/
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I talked them into a walk around the lake (4 miles) instead of dinner #winning. Anyways, as it often does with a bunch of girls, conversation turned to diets and what everyone is doing for diets and exercise. They asked what I do. Of course, saying starving myself and then b/p by way of laxative abuse and overexercise and generally hating myself doesnāt go over well, so I just said āoh you know, I run a lot, and Iād be a lot skinnier if I ate āhealthilyāā and stopped talking about it. What do you tell people when they ask you howāre youāre losing weight?
[Help] Struggling with relapsing into past unhealthy habits and needing advice
/u/lml0190
Created: Tue Jul 24 19:03:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91n97x/struggling_with_relapsing_into_past_unhealthy/
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4 years ago I was constantly weighing myself, eating under 800 calories a day and hated food. After my boyfriend and I started dating, I felt more love and acceptance and slowly got back to eating more and loving food again. Fast forward to now, Iāve gained about 45 pounds over 4 years and am starting to slip back into wanting to lose weight like I did in my past.
Iāve been losing weight by eating 1,200 calories a day and exercising more regularly and have lost 11 pounds so far but am stuck (literally) now with being super constipated (tmi sorry). Now Iāve gained 3 pounds back just from being constipated and Iāve tried a lot of remedies without success.
Iām just trying to go about this in a more healthy way but itās started to slip back with me wanting to restrict myself back to minimal calories a day and me missing how easy it was to lose weight years ago. Our relationship is still great but we both want to lose weight to be healthier and for him itās really easy, for me Iām slipping back into past behavior.
Any tips on staying true to 1,200 calories a day and not bingeing and feeling like shit after or having days of bingeing and undoing all my hard work?
TL;DR
5ā5ā used to weigh 108, got in a happy relationship, fell back in love with food, gained 45-50 pounds and trying to lose 20-25 in a healthier way than in my past. 11 pounds down currently but stuck due to constipation
August is the month
/u/smoke-n-fears
Created: Tue Jul 24 19:02:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91n8yu/august_is_the_month/
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I say this every single month, but August is the month.
I have had an ED for a very long time and go back and forth from heavy restricting to "regular" eating which consists of eating 1200 a day and being very upset constantly and obsessive about body checking with occassional binging.
I've been in a "regular" eating cycle for a while now, eating 1200 most days and then binging on others, but never more than 1600 even on a binge. I thought I could stick to it and be normal but it's not even good. It's miserable. I'm still very overweight (BMI 27.43 ) and I don't think I've lost ANYTHING eating 1200. I'm supposed to reach my goal weight eating that by October according to LoseIt but I don't think I've lost a single pound.
I don't have a scale anymore so I can't check. But I look at my self in the mirror every single day and nothing has changed. I have some clothes that are a size down that I keep to check if I've lost and can fit into them. No dice, they still don't fit. And I'm a short person so a little weight should make a difference.
I've been doing this for months trying to be normal and lose weight normally and it's driving me absolutely insane. I lost 15 pounds in October and November alone last year on 800 a day.
So I think August is the month where I go back to heavy restricting because I have a dress I need to fit into by October.
Talking about my ED issues only seems to intensify them...
/u/blackbird1221
Created: Tue Jul 24 18:45:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91n4pc/talking_about_my_ed_issues_only_seems_to/
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Iām currently in a DBT program that meets twice a week for 4 hours. Itās definitely helping with coping skills and making healthier decisions in regards to self harm.
BUT! I think having to track daily and share about my restricting and B/P is only intensifying them. Every time I have to talk about skipping meals it just makes me more anxious and want to skip more. And then the occasional B/P gets blown out of proportion and I feel super guilty and hate myself more. Like I just want to hide and skip my turn (thatās not an option unfortunately). No one else in my group ever has to talk about their food issues, which makes me feel like Iām being even more judged. Ughhhhhhh
[Tip] I have unlocked a tasty beverage I didnāt know existed until recently- hopefully youāll like it too! Super simple. Nothing too special, but boy do I love it!
/u/hypothermi_a
Created: Tue Jul 24 18:41:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91n3f6/i_have_unlocked_a_tasty_beverage_i_didnt_know/
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I love cucumbers. Theyāre 98% water and super low in calories. They also have vitamins and fiber.
I was looking into the nutritional value recently and came across a revelation that someone thankfully had- put slices of cucumbers in a bunch of water, let it chill in the fridge overnight, and enjoy healthy cucumber water the next day. I didnāt think itād be good honestly, but oh my god. If you love cucumber like I do, youāll lose your shit over this. Itās good for your skin, and it makes it easier for me to drink the water I need per day! Iām in love šš„
[Other] i havenāt eaten for six days
/u/putridaffection [5'0 | CW š | GW š„ | 29F | š mochiqueen]
Created: Tue Jul 24 17:53:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91mql5/i_havent_eaten_for_six_days/
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and my husband hasnāt noticed yet. on the one hand iām relieved heās not up my ass about it but on the other hand iām like??????please care about me????????
iām so stupid š why canāt i be happy about anything
[Other] That feeling when the new lunchbox you bought is small enough to help you achieve your goals.
/u/chrysanthemym [she/her // queer // fuckin' pear shaped]
Created: Tue Jul 24 17:16:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91mgfk/that_feeling_when_the_new_lunchbox_you_bought_is/
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https://i.redd.it/2c75jak1bzb11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] stoned me is more rational than sober me
/u/AgreeableReplacement [22Fš5'8š~100lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 24 17:13:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91mflz/stoned_me_is_more_rational_than_sober_me/
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i smoked for the first time in awhile the other day in order to work up an appetite and lessen my anxiety for my planned maintenance day feast.
so i was going through my night time routine and showering before breaking my fast as per usual. normally i avoid looking in the mirror when im undressed because body dysmorphia but stoned me decided to give my naked body a full on mirror inspection. instead of seeing a blob with a bunch of problem areas, i saw a clearly malnourished body, as if i was seeing myself from an outsiders perspective. kinda made me feel sad for doing this to myself.
anyway just thought it was interesting that a substance could change my perspective like that and make my body dysmorphia temporarily vanish.
\*\*just a side note - although cannabis has the potential to lessen anxiety, it can also make it much worse. im lucky in the sense that it helps me feel better but thats not always the case for everyone.\*\*
Comparing myself to my BF's friend's GFs
/u/2fckk
Created: Tue Jul 24 17:10:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91menq/comparing_myself_to_my_bfs_friends_gfs/
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Everyone is "hotter" than me. Everyone has a "better body" than me. Everyone is wearing a "cuter outfit" than me. Everyone has "better hair" than me. Everyone can play video games and I can't. Everyone is "wittier" than me.
It makes typical social functions exhausting.
This self-deprecation must be ED related. It seems like everyone else just joyfully co-exists while I sit there looking around thinking "I have to break up w my bf before he either cheats on me or stays with me out of guilt since I'm so much less than other girls."
Ugh. I work so hard to re-wire my brain, stop comparing, etc. but I can't. I can't. It's so fucking hard. I just wanna go away.
Sexual abuse
/u/Firerose157 [5'4" | 110 | 18.9 | hw 146 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 24 17:09:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91me9o/sexual_abuse/
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It fucked me up so showering today knowing my bf is at home watching porn is really hard. He lies about it and will leave me soon anyway but im having a panic attack thinking about it and having to wash and touch my fat body while he gets off to perfect silicone bimbos is killing me help
[Other] I like coming here because it's the only place I can talk about my ED
/u/prettyplease2468 [5'5 | CW: 111.2lb | BMI: 18.5 | GW: 107 | SW: 124 | 18F]
Created: Tue Jul 24 16:43:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91m6ze/i_like_coming_here_because_its_the_only_place_i/
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I hate talking about depression/ED things IRL because not only is it really personal and private but also I just feel like I'm whiney/coming off as selfish/"ME ME ME".
Obviously this isn't true and I love my friends and I know they'd never react negatively or think this way about me. ...But there's always a voice in the back of my head saying "you're selfish, they think you're selfish, they think badly of you now..."
Maybe it's because my mother was the first person to find out about my ED and her reaction was to tell me to "take responsibility for what I eat" (she found out I was purging). Her reaction to any sad emotions from me as a child was to shun me and call me selfish.
Funny how the first reaction always sets the precedent in your head.
But I know y'all get it because y'all are going through the same thing. Also Reddit is anonymous which is awesome lol.
So this is my declaration of love to you all ā„ā„ā„ thanks for listening to this gal rant and letting me get this shit off my chest...keeps me sane lmao
[Rant/Rave] people are only worried about me when it makes them look good :)
/u/waterslutt
Created: Tue Jul 24 16:32:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91m3w6/people_are_only_worried_about_me_when_it_makes/
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my sisters and her friends staged an impromptu āinterventionā for me. (that word makes me cringe) essentially it was them yelling at me that i just need to eat, that everyone is worried about me, im doing serious harm to my body blah blah...i appreciate the gesture but, im pretty sure they donāt actually care that much. they havenāt checked up on me, they donāt care when i tell them about how shitty i feel on any given day and, they STILL make weight jokes. just saying that you are worried about me and telling me to gain weight isnāt going to do anything. iāve heard it a million times before. idk maybe i just need to drop them already and get some better friend lol
[Help] Wanting to fast for a couple days genuinely for the health reasons but donāt know how to explain it to mom.
/u/poip67
Created: Tue Jul 24 16:13:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91lyci/wanting_to_fast_for_a_couple_days_genuinely_for/
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Iām not looking for ātipzntricksā b.s lol, Iām just really interested in sort of resetting my immune system and the autophagy benefits of fasting and Iām not sure how to sort of let my mum know that this kind of fasting is chill? Iāve been ārecoveredā sort of for years and Iām just living back at home for a month but weāre close and I know itāll come up. Sheās been worried about me for a bit and I just donāt know how to reassure her? I know how to fast in a healthier mindset, but itās the conversation Iām worried about. Halp?
[Help] Advice needed: relationships and eating disorders
/u/canelafina [5'2.5'' | forever on the struggle bus | F]
Created: Tue Jul 24 16:09:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91lxcg/advice_needed_relationships_and_eating_disorders/
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A few questions and a mind dump, the latter of which is moreso for the purpose of emptying my head a bit. Skip to the end for the questions if you like.
As a bit of background, I sort of stumbled into a yet-undefined relationship with this guy, a classmate (definitely against my usual dating rules...) in my graduate program. My complete opposite in most regards: a "foodie," extroverted, more emotionally needy, very physically and verbally affectionate, a dancer. The fact that he's on the small side (only a couple inches taller) and has only dated very svelte, non-muscular women makes me doubly conscious of my body, since objectively I am neither.
And now he's coming to stay with me for an entire week. Starting tomorrow. And I am fucking petrified.
I've been avoiding getting involved with anyone for so damn long. There was always an excuse: sick parent to care for, finishing my thesis, killing it at my practicals, moving abroad several times... but if I'm honest with myself, I'm positively terrified that someone will get a glimpse of that dark, shadowy part of my mind that slips through the cracks in my facade and sneaks its way into my daily habits and rituals. I have a spare toothbrush buried beneath my makeup that has been partially eroded by stomach acid. There's a drawer in my desk for sugar free gum and chocolate, the two faces of my disorder. I compulsively punish myself with excessive exercise until sweat creeps down my legs and pools in my much-abused running shoes under the guise of prioritizing my health. I avoid letting people cook for me since the thought of frying or roasting anything in oil makes me sweat. I get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of food large grocery stores, spending an inordinate amount of time scrutinizing nutrition labels and peering at other patrons' carts in bewilderment. I absentmindedly measure the circumference of my wrists and lightly graze my hip bones with my fingers at work.
Now for the questions. First, how have you managed to balance your eating disorder (or not) with having a relationship? I'm especially interested in those of you who have co-habited with a partner. If your partner is aware of your eating issues, at what point and how did you tell them? How did it work out? Any advice for this frightening adventure into the world of dating?
My UGW feels like a place rather than a number.
/u/morco99
Created: Tue Jul 24 16:07:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91lwqt/my_ugw_feels_like_a_place_rather_than_a_number/
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Maybe it's my synesthesia creeping in, but everytime I imagine myself weighing 80- or 90-something pounds, I picture a dark cooridor. It sounds foreboding, but I think I'd be happy there.
Right now, I look at the scale and see 106 pounds. I look in the mirror and I *am* 106 pounds. I picture reaching double digits as moving into a new place and being bound to it by chains. Even if I don't ever want to leave, I'll always be aware of the fact that I can't leave anyway.
This might sound stupid and emotional and I've almost erased it twice now. But I don't think I can be happy until I lose what my brain interprets as extra weight.
DAE watch people eat insane amounts of food on YouTube
/u/aly666ssa
Created: Tue Jul 24 15:54:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91lsox/dae_watch_people_eat_insane_amounts_of_food_on/
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I donāt know why but I find these videos comforting.
"We'll fuck babe, you had like a whole end of it"
/u/alpacarla
Created: Tue Jul 24 15:48:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91lqx7/well_fuck_babe_you_had_like_a_whole_end_of_it/
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Well. Binging on meat is my worst thing, and you left a beef joint out.
I had celery with Tabasco and yoghurt for lunch, I was doing so well :/
[Help] irregular period
/u/smolbeanbaby [5'2 | 132 | 24.1 | 34 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 24 15:46:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91lqe3/irregular_period/
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so i ended my last period on the 10th and then i started again last night?? before that there were three weeks between my last period and the period before that. i havenāt even been restricting so idk if i should check with my doctor. could purging a lot result in irregular periods??? iām confused and mildly scared. should i see my doctor about it or is it not something to worry about?
[Rant/Rave] Back on my bullshit
/u/rowboatx
Created: Tue Jul 24 15:40:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91lolr/back_on_my_bullshit/
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First post on here, had to make a new account because I donāt want this on my main but seriously you guys
EDNOS years ago, when I was about 14. Iāve been doing alright for the past six years and now Iām back on this so hi guys
Went away with some friends for the weekend and had an amazing time, we were all sat doing our makeup and I was in a baggy jumper and pyjama shorts. Itās been super hot lately so I took my jumper off and I was wearing a crop top underneath. My friend who I havenāt seen in a couple of months literally gasped and shouted āyouāve lost so much weight when did that happen?ā
I felt so fucking good about that and Iāve been riding that for a few days but I fucked it up today
Went a bit hard with the weights at the gym and I was so hungry when I got back I actually made myself a meal, first actual meal Iāve had in four days, I had two pieces of lorne and a full tin of beans (craving meat and protein and I just caved) and Iām too scared to log it to see how many calories it was. I went back later for some cardio because I was panicking so much but then came back and ate about half a punnet of frozen grapes, half a tub of halo top, coffee with cream and full sugar hazelnut syrup and Iām nearly at the bottom of a bottle of wine. I want to be sick, Iām too scared to even think about how many calories Iāve had today
So glad this sub is here to keep me motivated for tomorrow
gained weight from lifting, now I'm back
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | can't weigh myself | pant 00 | Gender: none :doge:]
Created: Tue Jul 24 15:31:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91llzq/gained_weight_from_lifting_now_im_back/
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I did DIY recovery, I went from pant 00 to 0/2 and felt okay
Lifting was supposed to end my eating disorder
but I gained (at least) 7 pounds
My doctor weighed me. I'm so pissed off. If I hadn't gone to that doctor's appointment I wouldn't be contemplating self harm now
I just need to eat and purge because I'm so fucking hungry. I honestly feel...beyond wanting to live
So desensitized to purging that I canāt purge
/u/Ekawa [Height 5'3 | CW 115 | BMI 20.3| -50 |F/22]
Created: Tue Jul 24 14:57:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91lbsx/so_desensitized_to_purging_that_i_cant_purge/
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I might be reaching my limits when it comes to purging. For the past few weeks Iāve been putting puke back in my mouth (while also stimulating my gag reflex) to make myself vomit when using my fingers/sniffing vomit wasnāt cutting it anymore. Putting vomit in my mouth helped me ensure that i got everything out because I could still make myself heave even when there wasnāt much food left in me. Doing this helped me purge the most effectively without weight gain because I got everything out. But now this isnāt working so I guess I donāt have an ED anymore and Iām kind of sad. Itās great that I canāt puke, I know, but this really just adds another layer of BS that I donāt know how to deal with because im in a damn binge cycle and if I canāt purge then Iām fucked.
No Binge Day 2! How did it go?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | CW: 60kg| GW: 58kg | UGW: 50kg | LW:56kg | 25F ]
Created: Tue Jul 24 14:25:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91l1um/no_binge_day_2_how_did_it_go/
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Hey guys! Hope you all have had some good days :)
My day was pretty good, I really enjoyed reading your responses on the way to work! <3
Haven't binged for a second day in a row...I'm really hoping I can continue this now I have you guys to check in with :)
Question of the day:
What is/was your favourite subject at school and why? Mine was English because I love etymology and am a quick reader :)
Best way to lose weight fast?
/u/mangomotherfucker
Created: Tue Jul 24 14:25:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91l1sm/best_way_to_lose_weight_fast/
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Okay so ive tried starvation, but iām a pear so.....my upper half looks skinny while my lower half is so big, (big thighs , big hips , big butt, etc) and i wish my thighs and hips werenāt so big!! I excercise and excercise and excercise hit my thighs have only gotten a little bit smaller, and my hips have stayed the same. Iām about 14, so iām kind of wondering if iāll change. Iām about 5ā5 , and 130lbs but my goal weight is 120. Help me out!
[Goal] [Anorexia Recovery] Committed to eating when I'm hungry without caring about the calories and I totally did!
/u/kernalmustache [169cm ā | CW 100lbs | BMI 15.9 | SW 130lbs šø]
Created: Tue Jul 24 14:15:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91kyn7/anorexia_recovery_committed_to_eating_when_im/
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On the list of all the changes I decided to make to my lifestyle today I decided I would eat at least 3 times per day and I would eat whenever I felt hungry without worrying about the calories. In the morning I kinda worried I would only end up eating around 1200 calories (my BMR is 1305, so that's not even enough to maintain my weight), but I guess I worked up quite a appetite today between exercising and the time I spent out in the heat. (It's like 30 degrees, but it feels even hotter.) I'm mostly just thirsty now, but I've already had over 1600 calories! Shockingly, I don't even feel bad about myself! I feel like I might even make it to 2000 if I can stay awake long enough. Overall today has just been the best day I've had in a very long time. :)
[Rant/Rave] Watching thin for the first time
/u/seedlesssunflower
Created: Tue Jul 24 14:12:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91kxrg/watching_thin_for_the_first_time/
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And one of the inpatients list the medications she was on and Iām like holy fuck Iām on all of these. My practitioner is convinced what I need is to lose weight (outside of mental health issues) and it makes me mad and happy at the same time that she prescribes me medications that have appetite suppressing side effects. CoInCiDeNtAlLy
I wish everyone could try to be a little more understanding
/u/cryingboi65
Created: Tue Jul 24 14:09:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/91kwmg/i_wish_everyone_could_try_to_be_a_little_more/
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Constantly it's shit like,"But you're not fat!","Stop being so stubborn!","You just need to eat more!",I understand that they're trying to help and I appreciate it but I wish they would realize that food ISN'T the problem here,it's that I have a mental illness related to my body image issues that can't be fixed by eating food.