Yay for skipping breakfast
/u/sunflower-girl- [5'6 // 116 // GW 105]
Created: Mon Apr 2 11:12:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/891idh/yay_for_skipping_breakfast/
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[removed]
[Other] Feels like a binge...
/u/slip_n_slice
Created: Mon Apr 2 10:14:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/890ikf/feels_like_a_binge/
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Buts it's more calories than I've had all week. 400 cal quesadilla.
TMI but even with laxatives I havnt had a bm (this auto corrected to BLAST) in a week so I figured I'd throw some food in the mix to see what happens. 1/4 cup of grilled, shredded chicken, half cup of shredded cheese, and half a flour tortilla with some hot sauce. Let's see what happens. 30 minutes later I already feel crazy gross full and hot and kinda dizzy. Resisting the urge to purge cause I know I need this in me.
[Help] Is my scale off or did I succeed?
/u/_what_the_truck [Height 5'4 | CW 119 | LW: 103 | GW: 110 | Gender F]
Created: Mon Apr 2 10:13:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/890ibj/is_my_scale_off_or_did_i_succeed/
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I've been living in a new country for a little over 3 weeks. When I left the states I was about 127 lbs (possibly a couple pounds less).
I bought a scale and yesterday it said 117.8 lbs. I've had at least 3-4 days of ~2300-2500 calories (curse you marijuana!) and a handful of under 1200 days and maybe 2 24 hour fasts.
Is it even possible that I've lost about 8 lbs in 3 weeks?! That would be almost 3 lbs a week...I'm worried my scale is off which is the worst X(
[Discussion] What are some of the horrible things your family has said about your body?
/u/shadowmachines [Attempting Recovery š±]
Created: Mon Apr 2 09:43:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8909rn/what_are_some_of_the_horrible_things_your_family/
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I started thinking about some of this shit and how much it has stuck with me all these years. I am trying to work through some depression by making some art using the critical phrases from my past that stand out to me, and would like to get some more from other people as well. I know a lot of us had a critical mom/dad/sibling from very early on. I'll share the art on here if it doesn't look like garbage. I hope everyone out there is having a halfway decent day.
Edit: I know I said about your body, but let's make it more open than that. Could be about your food, appearance, way you dress etc.
[Rant/Rave] List of things my family said
/u/handzies
Created: Mon Apr 2 09:27:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8905f1/list_of_things_my_family_said/
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"Your thighs are taking up the whole picture" -sister
"Wow, You're looking thick" -boyfriend,
"Glad to see you put some meat on your bones" -uncle after hugging me
"We are doing a 17 day diet, wanna do it with us?" -nieces
"Your butt is so squishy!" -nieces after poking me
D A N M you guys, I'm currently phasing out of recovery and last time they all saw me I was 114 pounds. So, naturally there is a noticible 20 pound bulk from it. I hate it. I HATE it. I cannot express properly how drained this family weekend has made me. I know if they knew I was disorsered they wouldn't say such things but oof. If anything it is some killer meanspo.
Relatable [x-post from r/AnimalCrossing]
/u/SteleexLS
Created: Mon Apr 2 09:15:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/89021m/relatable_xpost_from_ranimalcrossing/
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https://i.imgur.com/vzpeR8v.png
Data Breach at MyFitnessPal
/u/hardcore_parkour_
Created: Mon Apr 2 09:12:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8901b2/data_breach_at_myfitnesspal/
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Please change your password, if you use the service. You can find more info about the incident here:
https://content.myfitnesspal.com/security-information/notice.html
[Help] WELL FUCK ME SIDEWAYS.
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|110.6lb|23F]
Created: Mon Apr 2 09:11:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/890155/well_fuck_me_sideways/
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https://i.redd.it/ed1wao2jhip01.jpg
[Discussion] Experiences will caffeine pills vs. caffeinated beverages?
/u/Greeneloaf
Created: Mon Apr 2 09:06:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88zzf1/experiences_will_caffeine_pills_vs_caffeinated/
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Iām 20/f 5ā 5ā 114 lbs and vegan I usually drink iced red eyes (black cold brew with espresso and nothing else), occasionally Iāll get some kind of caffeinated tea at my local cafe, and then sometimes I shamefully drag myself to the bodega down the street and get the kiwi apple redbulls. Iāve found that red eyes have the strongest effect on me while red bulls only do if I drink them very fast and it doesnāt last long and caffeinated tea does nothing for me. Iāve never tried caffeine pills but Iām wondering what other ppls experiences are.
[Rant/Rave] Work is a haven of safe foods
/u/flowersnpowers
Created: Mon Apr 2 08:56:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88zwwx/work_is_a_haven_of_safe_foods/
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Seeing my super organized desk at work neatly stacked with safe foods is so comforting.
On my shelf I have cherry coke zeros and 100 cal kettle corn bags in case I need an afternoon snack. In my drawer are oatmeal packets, tea bags, and a mug to make both.
In my lunchbox I have a 400 cal meal prep that I made myself this past weekend.
I also have my 50 cal almond milk coffee and a liter of unsweet iced tea, so I'm delightfully sipping on those.
I had a bad few weeks of binging in March, so here's to a better April.
Love to you all <3 Please comment with other safe foods you keep at work.
Change your MyFitnessPal Passwords
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 2 08:54:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88zw74/change_your_myfitnesspal_passwords/
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[deleted]
[Other] Feed all your disorders while still getting to eat B&J with this one weird trick!
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.5 | 19.55/19.32 | GW: 57 | UGW: <55 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 2 08:30:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88zpsl/feed_all_your_disorders_while_still_getting_to/
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Spend the whole day cleaning with only minimal breaks for cigarettes, 3 beers, and 1 iced coffee then finish off with a pint of vegan Ben 'n' Jerry's for dinner, all for the low, low price of < 1500 calories. As a special deal for our readers, omit the beer for < 1200 calories.
Drunkorexic: check.
Binge-er: check.
Chain smoker: double check.
Is it bad that I'm ridiculously happy about today?
[Discussion] Maintenance
/u/sad_skelly [5'8"|125lbs| F]
Created: Mon Apr 2 08:29:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88zpmr/maintenance/
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Post your stats and how many calories a day you average when you're maintaining!
I need me some sanity.
Easter
/u/livingoncofffeee
Created: Mon Apr 2 08:23:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88zo1y/easter/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Holidays are hard
/u/myowneviltwin
Created: Mon Apr 2 07:45:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88zecu/holidays_are_hard/
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So much pressure to go-along-to-get-along and that means I have to eat. I have to put on a good show of eating, for my family. Then I go home and worry about how many calories I just ate.
Now Iām feeling extra pressure to watch what I eat today.
[Discussion] How much sodium is too much?
/u/oceanblue10 [5'9''| 175| 24.66|UGW:110 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 2 07:37:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88zcdv/how_much_sodium_is_too_much/
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I have a sodium free version and a regular version of bouillon and the regular version only has like 100mg. It also has less carbs. I know people say that drinking broth a lot is bad because of the sodium but how much is too much?? I just checked the sodium content of garlic salt (my favorite seasoning) and it is 500mg for a quarter teaspoon. At what amount of sodium does the body start retaining the water weight like crazy?
[Rant/Rave] It's amazing what you can do when you are in a bad place!
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 25F]
Created: Mon Apr 2 07:24:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88z9k7/its_amazing_what_you_can_do_when_you_are_in_a_bad/
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This weekend was really stressful for me. We had a staff party and I was in a horrible mood because I just wanted some alone time and after a week of work I just wanted to relax and unwind and de-people: unfortunately we were contracted to attend this party. So I sat there and sulked. My boyfriend was really sweet to me and I felt guilty for being miserable, and I watched him get on with another girl we work with and I felt *so shit* because I should be like that, not a horribly miserable human.
Anyway, I went home early, he offered to go home with me but we decided that it would be better for me to be alone and poor judgement got the better of me. I decided to send him an email of 100 things I appreciate about him which is one of the stupidest things I've ever done. Why did I do this? Apart from the fact that I'm a fucking moron, I did it because I felt that I had been awful all evening and I wanted to show him that I appreciate him. Why the fuck did I make such a grand gesture??? We have been going out for...three months almost. I look fucking psycho.
Anyway, safe to say he is not best pleased with me and spends about an hour over FB messenger about how I move things too fast and I have to wait for him. He's 100% in the right but I obviously slide slowly into another realm of self-hatred and depression.
I felt so shit last night that I told work I wouldn't be in today and I don't even regret it. I spent all night crying and hating myself, and lo and behold all I've managed to eat today is a meal of 350kcal, a bottle of coke zero and four cigarettes. It's 4:30pm here so I'm going to get another bottle of coke zero and have a bath. If I felt *this* shit about my relationship and myself all the time I would be at my GW in no time!
This whole weekend has been a binge fest so I think my body is telling me that we actually have too much food now and we should just quit for the rest of this week. Last time I felt this shit about a guy I reached my LW so let's see if this will spur it on again.
[Help] Iām planning on EC stacking but I donāt have access to caffeine pills
/u/figglygiggly
Created: Mon Apr 2 07:09:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88z5zi/im_planning_on_ec_stacking_but_i_dont_have_access/
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[removed]
[Goal] Not exercising in order to control indulging.
/u/PalmDzert
Created: Mon Apr 2 06:52:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88z2h4/not_exercising_in_order_to_control_indulging/
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[removed]
[Other] Best App for Weight/Food Tracking
/u/lecollecteur
Created: Mon Apr 2 06:48:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88z1mr/best_app_for_weightfood_tracking/
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My Fitness Pal has always been the most popular and I used it for years but recently the app has become nothing but ads and paid features that were previously free.
Has anyone tried anything else ??
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! April 02, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Apr 2 06:15:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88yuh1/weekly_stats_update_april_02_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for April 02, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! April 02, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Apr 2 06:15:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88yug5/daily_food_diary_april_02_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 02, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I hate vacation
/u/clovenpine
Created: Mon Apr 2 06:02:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88yru4/i_hate_vacation/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] 3-year relationship crumbling...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 2 05:01:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ygta/3year_relationship_crumbling/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Never underestimate my addiction to Coke Zero...
/u/HappierHungry [ā | 5'10Ā½" | BMI: 17 | CW: 55.5kg | GW: 50kg |]
Created: Mon Apr 2 03:47:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88y5ct/never_underestimate_my_addiction_to_coke_zero/
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AKA: How I'm dealing with the slow but inevitable phase out of Zero to replace it with No Sugar (which I do not like - *there is a difference, Georgia, stop lying to yourself*).
... I have enough to last me approximately a year...!
[Rant/Rave] Just got back from a trip and can't share with anyone else...
/u/strawstring [5'10 | CW ugh | -76??lbs | 21F]
Created: Mon Apr 2 03:08:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88xzm1/just_got_back_from_a_trip_and_cant_share_with/
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I just weighed myself after a week in Italy - which was essentially a giant binge week for me. Almost every meal was huge and obviously consisted of pizza, pasta, gelato, alcohol, bread, nutella, you name the fear food and I scarfed it down. I was debating on even stepping on the scale in fear of a freak out... and I lost a kg????? I am ecstatic and I don't even know how it's possible!!! (Although I did average 37,800 steps a day) I'm just terrified my scale is broken or I'm just dehydrated and actually gained 10lbs or that tomorrow I'll realize I misread a digit. Obviously the scale isn't indicative of how much fat I probably gained, but I hope since I was active I wasn't gaining fat/losing muscle and it's nice to know I definitely (hopefully) didn't gain 15lbs like I thought.
Besides this blessing, I realized how often people eat in a day, and although I "know" most have breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a snack maybe and that is perfectly ok with them, seeing myself do that was shocking. I'm now excited to maybe buy some healthy food and up my calories a little(???) because maybe my body can handle it?
Trying to push out the "that was a fake number on the scale" thoughts.
Sorry for the meaningless post I just couldn't say this to a friend and had to share!
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else really f**king love salsa?
/u/Amoosedcow
Created: Mon Apr 2 02:03:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88xqpd/does_anyone_else_really_fking_love_salsa/
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I just ate an entire jar of salsa with no regrets.
Iāll dump it on everything; dry ramen, leaf salad mix, bread, chickpeas - basically whatever I can. Itās the best condiment Iāve ever had in my life. And if Iām bored? I just crank up the spice level. Idk if anyone has the same feelings tbh but itās godly good.
How to get over the urge to binge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 2 01:58:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88xpx1/how_to_get_over_the_urge_to_binge/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I went to my trigger restaurant and didnāt binge!!!
/u/isaezraa [161 | CW 50 | GW 48 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 2 00:42:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88xf28/i_went_to_my_trigger_restaurant_and_didnt_binge/
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theres this really cool hipster Chinese place near me that has *the best* dumplings and hot chocolates and every time i go i eat everything in sight
well today we drove past it and my mum remembered how much I liked it and wanted to try it for herself, I had literally no room in my calories for this and was freaking the fuck out, but then I remembered that this place was fucking *renowned* for their teas, so mum got her dumplings and I got my tea and you guys, I DIDNT BINGE!!!! Iām so proud of myself, I didnāt think I had the self control clearly I do!! Iām a little less worried about binging at school camp now :)
[Rant/Rave] So conflicted
/u/papsandwiles [5"4 | 115 | 19.7 | 20F]
Created: Mon Apr 2 00:14:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88xavh/so_conflicted/
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My flair is outdated. I thought I was 114 pounds because I was using my parents' old as fuck scale, but I used a digital scale and I am shocked.
I'm 104 pounds.
My UGW was 108 pounds, stupidly 1 pound over an "Underweight" classification for someone of my height. As if as long as I'm not *officially* underweight, I don't have a problem.
I reached my UGW. Great. So I tried to be normal. I told my sister I have an ED and want help. I tried to go out with my family and eat like a normal person but I just ended up binging (of course) and now I feel like death. I can't be normal. I can't eat with everyone else. I'm always cranky as fuck because I'm so stressed from worrying about not eating and slowly dying or eating and gaining weight and going back to being depressed as fuck.
I don't want help anymore. I just want to shrink and shrink until I dissapear. This rant is incoherent but I feel so disoriented and confused and just had to vent.
Iām so fucking sick of this eating disorder
/u/IPreferItNotToBe
Created: Sun Apr 1 23:22:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88x2dm/im_so_fucking_sick_of_this_eating_disorder/
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Iļø physically can no longer purge, Iļø canāt lose weight, Iļø starve myself and my heartbeat is fucked up, when Iām not eating Iļø feel disoriented, confused, uncoordinated, Iļø feel like passing out and like Iļø might involuntarily throw up often and Iām so sick of feeling this way. Iļø keep doing things in desperate attempts to lose weight but every time Iļø do Iļø gain Iļøt back. Eat one day, gain 5 pounds, takes me days to lose it again and again and again and again. Iļø want to hurt myself and sometimes Iļø want to die to stop this. Itās so fucking stupid but Iām obsessed with being at the lowest weight Iļø can be (which isnāt even fucking low at all). Iļø hate feeling sick all the time.
have always wanted 2 b skinny/small but my freaking build always makes me look so chunky and I feel gross, then binging happens when Iām super sad and I hate purging bc I can never get it all out// need a buddy I am determined to get down to gw 115. 19yo female cw 149 5ā5 please help
/u/slaylabox
Created: Sun Apr 1 23:08:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88x01l/have_always_wanted_2_b_skinnysmall_but_my/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Abzurdah
/u/TrippinFlowerBud
Created: Sun Apr 1 22:42:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88wvau/abzurdah/
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Have any of you guys seen the argentinian movie Abzurdah about a girl's descent into hell and struggling with EDs ? What impressions did it make on you ? Could you relate to it ? Overall I liked it and (maybe weirdly) it made me want to restrict more.
PS the movie is on Netflix
[Other] Has anyone else quit laxatives?
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:114 |GW:100 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 22:10:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88wp9f/has_anyone_else_quit_laxatives/
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I have just recently quit laxatives with the help of my therapist and my doctor. I feel a lot better physically but Iāve been so fucking bloated that Iām almost tempted to buy my precious dulcolax again.
Iāve been off hard laxatives for 5 days now and went from 114-115 to 117-118. My doctor has me taking miralax and probiotics.
I know Iām probably just retaining water and I have managed to poop on my own again which was actually pretty exciting, but Iām going crazy seeing this number on the scale!!!
Has anyone else managed to quit laxatives? Did you also get bloated? How long did it take to get back to normal??
I wanted to be 112-113 by my birthday on the 11th but Iām so fucking worried that Iāll be bloated and gross!!
[Discussion] What BMI did you lose your period?
/u/dreamedotcom
Created: Sun Apr 1 21:55:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88wm8s/what_bmi_did_you_lose_your_period/
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[Help] I've finally done it guys
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Sun Apr 1 21:51:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88wlke/ive_finally_done_it_guys/
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So o have OSFED and I feel like my ED works in cycles. I restrict, I binge, I binge and purge, I purge, and then o restrict again. This happens over several months, each stage lasting a couple weeks or a month. Right now I am just purging.
Well, over the past few days I've been getting chest pain, muscle spasms, fatigue, and had a consistent headache. I know these are symptoms of an electrolyte imbalance. I had to sit on my stairs for an hour two nights ago with a Gatorade because I couldn't make it all the way up without my vision going in and out like I was going to pass out.
The thing is, this hasn't happened in almost a year. I thought I had this under control. I thought I was doing well. I'm just at the point where I want this to kill me so I can be done. I've had this goddamn disorder for 12 years. 12 fucking years. It won't go away, I've tried a million different things. I was pushed into eating disorder therapy by one of my older therapists a couple months ago. We started trauma work because that is what caused it. I'm not getting better. Nothing is going to make this better.
[Rant/Rave] my leggings are loose!!!!
/u/dopeguts
Created: Sun Apr 1 21:49:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88wl62/my_leggings_are_loose/
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[removed]
[Goal] NUTRIENTS/no binge April-- any takers?
/u/nyny2017 [5'7" | CW 127.6 | BMI 20ish | GW 114.5 š¤ | š tidylithe]
Created: Sun Apr 1 21:46:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88wkkt/nutrientsno_binge_april_any_takers/
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March was a depressive bingey sinkhole. weightloss totally stalled out, and I was sick like half the month. I am going to try to do a very structured 1000-1400 depending on exercise, for THE WHOLE MONTH DAMNIT, focusing on mostly fruit and veg intake, with some fish etc., so I can stop feeling like garbage. No stupid expensive weird diet foods. Any one want to join on this? IDK how to do like a "challenge" that gets any momentum but I am so tired of careening between stupid bronkaid/powerade fasts and days of mainlining $30 of seamless. HELP, SUPPORT, SOLIDARITY??
edit: OK ppl I have created a discord (I think? IDK how to use this shit) pm me for the link
[Help] egg fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 1 21:15:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88we9t/egg_fast/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] 7 day restrict... worse binge so far!!! I want to die
/u/dreamedotcom
Created: Sun Apr 1 21:10:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88wd8f/7_day_restrict_worse_binge_so_far_i_want_to_die/
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So for the past 7 days Iād managed to restrict under 500 calories per day. Been stuck on plateau, want to fast but canāt due to flatmates. Anyways, everyone was gone today, and what do I do? Binge. Fml.
Started with cottage cheese and mushrooms. Fejoias. Chocolate ice cream. Hot cross buns. More hot cross buns. Peanuts. Almonds. Raisens.
Purge. Couldnāt get out nuts and never can get out bread.
As if that wasnāt enough... I then decided to go to the shop.
2x magnum ice creams. Cornetto ice cream. Bounty bar. Kit Kat. A meat pie.
Come home. Purge. Think I got a lot of it out. I hope.
Then cheese and crackers. Grapes. Cottage cheese
Purge
Then some soup and grapes to try and settle my stomach. Now Iām in bed. Hating myself. All that work all week for nothing. Wish I was better at purging def did not get out half of what I ate.
Just really hating myself because Iām at my lowest weight 58.3kg /128 lbs and have been stuck here for weeks. Feel huge, fat, unworthy, depressed, and of course just want to eat to make these feelings go away.
Thanks for listening
[Discussion] Is it better to gradually lower your calories rather than lower them immediately? Any advice?
/u/chrysanthemymbird
Created: Sun Apr 1 21:07:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88wcr1/is_it_better_to_gradually_lower_your_calories/
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Hey everyoneā
Long story short, Iāve relapsed after hitting my starting weight again (140lbs). My current goal is 115lbs, which is roughly 25lbs to lose. I want to lose it in two months before the start of summer.
Two weeks ago, I attempted to instantly lower my calories to roughly 650-850 cals a day and regretted it immensely. I go to college every day and constantly noticed myself spacing out and feeling constantly exhausted. So, it made me wonder, should I lower them gradually instead of instantly?
I was thinking of doing...:
> week one: 1000-900 calories
> week two: 900-800 calories
> week three: 800-700 calories
> week four: 700-600 calories
> week five: 600-500 calories
> water/powerade fasting every other day + 600 calories
What do you think? Whats your personal experience with lowering them instantly versus gradually? Do any specific diets make you fuller than others; (i.e. keto)?
So for those of yāall with pets...
/u/Crunchyricecake
Created: Sun Apr 1 21:02:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88wbpj/so_for_those_of_yall_with_pets/
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Does anyone else feel bad about wasting food in front of their dogs? Like my dog (as most are) is obsessed with food and I feel so guilty chewing and spitting pizza in front of him šš¤·š¼āāļøš¬ anyone else feel the same way?
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I woke up fat
/u/K_iwi [5'3" | 129 | 23.4 | GW 120 |F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 20:17:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88w1um/i_feel_like_i_woke_up_fat/
---
caution: im high as hell and extremely freaked out
today i felt like a loser because i ate a lot and i decided to get high to try and chill out to try and forget about it. only this time i looked in the mirror and jesus fucking christ. ive been in an extreme binge cycle and have gained 10 lbs in a year.
āJesus christā i think and yes, its been a year. I feel like it was yesterday that this binge started, and that i would stop at the end of the week. The end of the month. The end of the year. Ive wasted a whole year of time trying to stop binging. I donāt remember anything of the past year!! All i remember is ātodayā being the ālast dayā of my binge. But then today I look in the mirror and I feel fucking hideous. Im so flabby, and ive just destroyed my body by eating so much disgusting food. And my body keeps convincing myself āits okay, this is the last time.ā How long will i go with every time being the ālast time?!?!ā Ive already spent a year. It wasnt worth it. It was never worth it. I donāt remember the binges- what i ate or how it tasted. What i do remember is how my collar bones used to feel. My ribs, my hip bones. How my boyfriend worried so much about my weight loss. How much he wanted to fuck me regardless (how can he fuck me now, when im so disgusting??). How small and light i felt.
Im sickening now. I canāt live like this anymore. I canāt eat, i fucking refuse to eat. And im not listening to that fat bitch that keeps saying ātoday is the last bingeā. That last binge already fucking happened. Theres not going to be another ālast binge.ā Theres not gonna be another day of food. No more complaining. No more. I need my life back, when i used to get shit done. Not this sack of shit that puts everything off.
I just fucking canāt anymore.
[Rant/Rave] So I finally weighed myself today...
/u/steamedbun_27 [165cm | CW: 66.1kg / GW: 50kg | idk | -27kg | F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 19:36:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88vsq1/so_i_finally_weighed_myself_today/
---
After a 4 month long binge cycle, I've gained 10kg. fml. and I have one month to lose it all.
[Discussion] things that are hard to remember, for me at least (feel free to add yours)
/u/nextlvlrattata [5'6 | dont have a scale| CGW 110| UGW 95]
Created: Sun Apr 1 19:24:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88vq5q/things_that_are_hard_to_remember_for_me_at_least/
---
* 800 calories is considered a miniscule amount (as well as 1000, 1200, 1500 too tbh)
* 24 hours is a long time to fast
* you should really only lose 1-2 pound a week
* you will NOT gain from a binge, most likely. you would have to have 3,000 calories or more. if you weigh yourself the next day and the scale goes up, it is likely waste or water.
* you don't always have to lie to get out of eating. sometimes all it takes is "no, thank you."
[Rant/Rave] Not diet soda. WTF
/u/DietDuchess
Created: Sun Apr 1 18:58:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88vk75/not_diet_soda_wtf/
---
I know most of you live on Diet Coke. I hate Diet Coke. However I love diet root beer. I pretty much get A&W or store brand every time, but for some reason Barqās was on sale. I bough some...
got home, drank a can.
It was horrible.
I was at work the next day telling a coworker how Barqās tastes different than like every diet root beer out there.. he said I was crazy and Barqās was the best. HA.
Anyway next day I get home, take the 12pk out to throw it away and realize it was NOT DIET!
It was full sugar.
No wonder it was so disgusting.
I was both horrified I drank full calorie soda, and freaking out about going back and editing my calorie log, praying this wouldnāt put me over for that day.
Yet somehow I also was very pleased that I could recognize the taste difference and without knowing - concluded it was nasty!
A least when it comes to soda, Iāve trained my brain to reject sugar! Thatās kinda great right!
I'm not proud but I need to say it
/u/warmbagel53
Created: Sun Apr 1 18:43:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88vgvz/im_not_proud_but_i_need_to_say_it/
---
My dad's girlfriend made homemade pineapple cake for Easter and I didn't want to make her feel bad so I took a piece. I immediately went to the other room, wrapped it in paper towel and threw it in the trash can. I then walked back in and raved to her about how delicious it tasted
[Other] Conversation with my twin brother... he sort of has a point!
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Sun Apr 1 18:13:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88va1v/conversation_with_my_twin_brother_he_sort_of_has/
---
https://i.redd.it/vp0pg3u81ep01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] "Just try a little piece. C'mon, you can have a little piece. Just eat it. Don't be rude."
/u/liliane_of_londor
Created: Sun Apr 1 18:07:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88v8ny/just_try_a_little_piece_cmon_you_can_have_a/
---
Title is why I hate every single family gathering featuring too much fucking food. I don't know what's in it, I don't care to ask, and I don't fucking want it. But by all means guilt me into eating shit that I don't want so you can keep up appearances.
Fuck the holidays.
[Other] I made a charcuterie board
/u/brainblanket
Created: Sun Apr 1 17:44:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88v35t/i_made_a_charcuterie_board/
---
It was beautiful. Colorful. Nibbly and organized. I added roasted red peppers and cucumbers and pears to make myself feel better. I took pictures. I didnāt count any cals and I ate that shit up
but now Iām in bed lying on my side and I can feel my belly hanging off me
[Help] TW: domestic violence, not well enough to leave
/u/qncg
Created: Sun Apr 1 17:27:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88uzbm/tw_domestic_violence_not_well_enough_to_leave/
---
So I've been struggling with my weight and anorexia and ocd for more than a decade. I have been married a little over seven years, my husband became physically abusive about half way through. It's getting worse, my bones and frame can't take it anymore, and worse, our kids are starting to get old enough to notice and be affected. I have to leave. I have to make them safe. I have to keep my kids safe. I work three serving shifts a week, but it's hit or miss, I made $6 Saturday. I usually make about $50 per shift, but physically, this level of work is all I can take. I require medication and monitoring at this point. Our rent is very late, as are all of our bills, so everything I make goes to our immediate needs, like feeding my kids and making sure I have a phone with minutes. I don't even know how to make leaving a reality. I'm scared. But realistically, I don't know how to leave and make it stick.
[Discussion] Heading to Disney world. Any safe restaurant/meal suggestions?
/u/User820125 [65ā CW: Fuck GW: over and done.]
Created: Sun Apr 1 17:10:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88uv6i/heading_to_disney_world_any_safe_restaurantmeal/
---
My husband wants to eat out almost every meal. Weāve sort of planned but Iām freaking out here. Can I customize? Any tips? What about Epcot? Weāre spending two days there (we like to drink).
Help!!
Well, I'm back...
/u/themclavicles [173cm | CW 127 | GW 118 | 18.8 | 23F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 16:59:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88uset/well_im_back/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Grandma and her fucking Easter dinner
/u/gongleg
Created: Sun Apr 1 16:30:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ulpm/grandma_and_her_fucking_easter_dinner/
---
I've been going strong on my weight loss for a week now, trying to have a nice even day at 1000 calories, (it's a lot, I know, but I'm just starting) but the grandparents invited my sister and I over for Easter dinner and I went fucking bezerk. I had an entire slab of roast beef, a large helping of mashed potato shit, and garlic bread. On top of that, little "snacks" before dinner and a can of ginger ale. Oh don't mention the lemon cake.
I hate going over to my grandmas, I don't know why I can't control myself. I just finished purging upstairs so I'm feeling less mad at myself now.
[Discussion] Mfp?
/u/pray4prada
Created: Sun Apr 1 16:30:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ull9/mfp/
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So Iām new to myfitnesspal and I was wondering if anyone still uses it? (Iām late, I know). If so, anyone would like to be friend on there?
[Discussion] DAE only restrict when alone and eats 'normally' around others?
/u/invincibletitan33 [5'4.5 | 52kg | F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 16:16:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ui39/dae_only_restrict_when_alone_and_eats_normally/
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Idk why but I have to eat 'normally'/allow myself to binge when I'm around other people, I can't restrict.
When I'm alone, I only eat safe foods and calorie count, restrict and am obsessive.
But whenever I'm not at home alone or when I'm with other people, I can't say no and end up accepting or ordering food that I usually wouldn't allow myself to eat, and a lot of the time allow myself to binge.
Half of me can't face being 'not normal' around others - in general I'm always worried about what other people think of me anyway and I'm scared people judge me. And the other half of me loves that it is as an excuse to let myself eat, eat, eat and enjoy food.Ā
Makes me feel like such a fake and a failure.
[Discussion] Finally ready to open up about my relationship with food and accept the help I need from people that care about me
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Sun Apr 1 15:52:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88uc78/finally_ready_to_open_up_about_my_relationship/
---
Check the date
[Other] not enough.
/u/illendmylife [cw: go away | f]
Created: Sun Apr 1 15:28:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88u649/not_enough/
---
not like this hasn't been posted to death. i hate everyone, i want to be dead. i want my life to be over. i want somebody to care. i'm not light enough, i haven't harmed myself enough. going to the hospital isnt enough. i'm going to voluntary inpatient and i am going there in as bad a condition as i can. i'll slice up all my limbs the night before so they'll take me seriously. i hate everyone. i hate myself. i hate my weight. i hate food. i hate not being sick enough. i want it to end. i do not want to get better i want my issues to be validated. why am i so useless.
[Help] overwhelmed by āhealthyā things. is this weird?
/u/hoeaway5000
Created: Sun Apr 1 15:26:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88u5oo/overwhelmed_by_healthy_things_is_this_weird/
---
lil edit: also sorry if this is jumbled & senseless iām so out of it rn lmao
so i have a couple of pretty bad mental illnesses including my ED. a friend of mine is also very mentally ill. they are suddenly making a lot of progress and i KNOW deep down iām happy for them but itās also like... overwhelming me to hear about all of these solutions and changes theyāre making and these discoveries about healing all at once. idk i guess on top of that, i also know that along with all of their own personal discoveries, they also have some sort of urge to help me out or give me a little advice or hope to get better. which i love about them. but it also makes me anxious because iām not fully ready to do a complete overhaul of all of my issues. i guess itās overwhelming because itās all so sudden and when they contact me about their progress itās like 10 different (positive) changes at a time lol
idk. i hope this doesnāt come off as bad or something. iāve been making my own small steps and then there have been times where i made progress and they didnāt seem to want to or they seemed kind of distant about it. which is fine. & agh idk iām taking my meds and iāll eventually try to tackle all my actual self-hate/trauma/deep-rooted issues but rn i just wanna starve myself and not think about it ig. idk. thatās where my brain is at. also (& this is like the main thing i feel bad for feeling lol) they now started working out and my first reaction was like š lmfaooooo and like not even a super competitive feeling as if i want to be skinnier or something it was just like stop thatās my thing!!
guys what the fuck is wrong with me? lmao
[Rant/Rave] Fuck Easter
/u/spyrothedaddy [5'4"|CW:102.8|BMI:17.6|F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 15:03:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88u00a/fuck_easter/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I wish sweet suprises were actually sweet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 1 14:51:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88twsf/i_wish_sweet_suprises_were_actually_sweet/
---
So today I ate a 500 calorie lunch (Already about 200 calories more than I'm used to eating in one sitting already so my stomach is not happy) because the only other thing I planned on eating today was a small snack but my girlfriend asked me what my favorite food is meaning she's probably suprising me with it and it's AT LEAST 350 putting me way higher than I planned. This happened with my family two months ago with my birthday when they suprised me with cake at work and I felt too awkward to say no. I tried to purge but it's been too long and I won't be able to turn it down but I don't want to disappoint her I hate this I want to be impulsive again
[Rant/Rave] people are the worst
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 125 | ugw: 98 | 17F | š: starvingprincess]
Created: Sun Apr 1 14:21:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88tpa3/people_are_the_worst/
---
how does me having an ed invalidate my knowledge and invalidate *real fucking facts?* i canāt fucking stand when i point something out about diet or nutrition or veganism and someone goes into my post history and attacks me for having an ed. fuck you. my eating disorder doesnāt take away from my knowledge and you shouldnāt use it to justify ignoring facts. i fucking hate people like this.
[Help] EC stack ādetoxā effects
/u/SummerMournings
Created: Sun Apr 1 14:05:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88tlcv/ec_stack_detox_effects/
---
Okay quick question! Iām in the middle of a binge cycle and Iāve heard on here that EC stacks are a good way to break it as they suppress appetite. I want to start using them a few days a week.
My question is: what happens when you stop using them? does it affect your appetite permanently?
I ask because I was in Vivanse / adderall for a while in my teens and early 20s, and while it was AWESOME as an appetite suppressant, the second I stopped taking it my appetite would be absolutely uncontrollable for several days before it was ānormalā again. To this day I have never felt stronger binge cravings than the day after I stopped taking those pills. I would be able to low restrict for a while and lose 5 lbs in a week but as soon as I stopped taking them Iād binge and gain MORE. Iād love to try EC stacks but not if thatās going to happen again.
If anyone has any info or anecdotal experience that would be awesome, thanks :)
Edit: also, Iāve been browsing about EC stacks and some people take caffeine pills and aspirin with their Bronkaid... any thoughts / difference? Can I just drink 2 cups of coffee (normal) or do I have to take a caffeine pill? Thanks :)
[Rant/Rave] It happened again.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 1 13:32:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88tcsi/it_happened_again/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Binging on "healthy" food
/u/PhoneWalletSanity [156cm/5'1.5 |88.4 lbs|16.5|-20 |18F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 12:59:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88t4az/binging_on_healthy_food/
---
I usually plan out my meals at least a few days in advance and it's always things like oatmeal for breakfast, chocolate peanut butter banana ice cream for lunch and a tuna asparagus noodle bowl for dinner yet somehow, under the excuse of "I'm intermittently fasting!" I eat all of that before noon.
Then I start looking up how many calories I'd burn if I did x exercise for y amount of time and consume that many more calories of health food like an entire box of mangoes or something.
Meanwhile, I'm not stopping myself because I'm technically eating healthy and the only kind of food that I'll stop eating at a certain point is junk food that's full of refined sugar and oil. Otherwise, my stomach is a bottomless pit.
Like today, I ate that above meal plan all before 12.30 then I had two slices of bread with tea and for some reason made more oatmeal "for later", waited fifteen minutes and ate that as well. Now I'll need to walk for four hours to not be above my TDEE and it's driving me crazy knowing I definitely didn't even really want all that but I needed the taste of something in my mouth.
It's half boredom anyway, I was laid off this weekend when I thought I'd be working so I've been lying in bed, experiencing the wonders of funemployment and Reddit for hours on end. I don't have any friends or my boyfriend in this city, it's Toronto so all the parks are far away plus it's still cold because I don't produce any body heat so it's not like there's anything to do but casually binge and then force myself to walk it off.
Ugh... And I'll be home two weeks from now where it'll be super hard to avoid oil because my mum's going to get suspicious when I start entirely cooking for myself but I refuse to start yoyoing with my weight again.
Thank you for reading thus far. <3 I needed to get that all out before I spend the next four hours pounding concrete for my vegan sins.
[Rant/Rave] Don't know how I'm going to survive the next two weeks
/u/supersecretobsession [178cm | CW: 58ish | BMI: 17.84(new)/18.31(old) | GW: ??? | 20F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 12:33:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88sxge/dont_know_how_im_going_to_survive_the_next_two/
---
So, I currently basically live with my boyfriend and his family. He knows about my ED and his brother knows that I am counting calories and so far that's all been good. His father does comment sometimes on how I "don't eat much" according to him, but I just ignore that.
However, tomorrow my boyfriend's sister (let's call her S) is coming home for holidays for two weeks. She is around my age, slightly younger, and when we first met I was much bigger than her (around 15kg difference, if not more). Last time we met, which was around Christmas, I weighed a bit more than her (but had a lower bmi, as I'm taller).
Anyway, so S has said a couple of semi-triggering (I hate this word) things to me, that I am unsure if she knew could hurt me. But at one point she loudly proclaimed "Oh, I weigh less than you!" next to my boyfriend. Another time, when we were eating and I'd split my burger, she said that there's no way that I was full after only eating half of it, her reasoning being that she wasn't full. As if I MUST have a bigger appetite than her...
I just don't know how I am going to cope the next few weeks. I haven't weighed myself in a couple of days, have been binging/high restricting, whereas she's probably lost weight since we last saw each other as I know that she has been to see the doctor who told her that she was routinely undereating by 3 days.
Sorry for the long rant, I just needed to put this out there. I'm just scared that eating without hating myself is going to be even harder in her presence, especially as it's unlikely that I'll be able to weigh my food while she's in the house. Any help/advice would be really appreciated, I'm panicking a little.
[Rant/Rave] Easter candy troubles
/u/anaphylaxatives
Created: Sun Apr 1 12:21:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88su8u/easter_candy_troubles/
---
Hey everyone :(((((((
first time poster here.
I just gave in and ate a ton of candy and feel both physically and emotionally sick..
Iād love some kind words and motivation to pick myself back up. I know how sweet everyone here is, itās my fav sub.
Thanks in advance. Have a lovely day everyone! youāre all beautiful people <3
[Discussion] EC stack with or without Aspirin?
/u/couldntfindquiet [5'4 | too much | 21/NB]
Created: Sun Apr 1 12:18:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88stib/ec_stack_with_or_without_aspirin/
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I know it's suggested to EC stack with aspirin but I also see a lot of people not taking it. Are there any reasons to not take the aspirin?
Im at my aunts house and she has this bread thats only 10 calories a slice and its delicious!!!
/u/dortuh [5'8" | 112.9lb | BMI 17.2 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 11:24:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88sf4f/im_at_my_aunts_house_and_she_has_this_bread_thats/
---
I can't tell what the brand name is cause it's in a foreign language but the nutrition facts are in English
Here's a picture:
-----
Jk
And if you haven't figured it out my now,
April Fool's.
[Rant/Rave] Going to ikea
/u/WaitingForHealing [5'5.5" | 271 | 237 | 115 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 11:15:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88scuc/going_to_ikea/
---
Iām going to ikea with a coworker and tbh not my favourite one. I try to be nice to her but sometimes she is too much.
Anyways, I decided to go with her and of course she wants to meet at the food court or whatever. Wtf. Youād think weād at least do that at the end? Because... you know itās at the end. I donāt want to sit and chat. I donāt mind walking and chatting while looking at furniture but I donāt want to sit and chat and I donāt want to eat.
I try to not be an ass to her but if we sit and chat I might get annoyed and my expressions always show on my face.
Iāll just get a diet drink and keep it light on the calories.
At least my problem isnāt Easter dinner like everyone elseās ? ĀÆ\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
[Discussion] March 27th - April 1st, 2018 Questions of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 11:02:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88s9cd/march_27th_april_1st_2018_questions_of_the_day/
---
Welp everyone, Iām back. My man was in town on leave after being in Syria for 6 months so I was a little distracted. Iāve missed so many days, so have your pick š©
27th: When was the last time you felt like you were on top of the world?
28th: What do you want to remember about today? (It was Wednesday)
29th: Write down a few lines from a song or poem that you identify with today. (Thursday)
30th: Pick a color for today. (Friday)
31st: What inventions can you not live without?
1st: Who are you fooling?
[Other] Realized my new anxiety med had suppressed my appetite...
/u/BreMarieNirvana
Created: Sun Apr 1 10:37:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88s23q/realized_my_new_anxiety_med_had_suppressed_my/
---
[removed]
[Help] What to do with Easter candy?
/u/DahliaDubonet [INTERNAL SOBS]
Created: Sun Apr 1 10:13:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88rvwh/what_to_do_with_easter_candy/
---
My mom, in her attempt at being caring (and I do appreciate the sentiment) loaded me up with a basket OVERFLOWING with candy. All my favorite candies. Ugh.
So my question is WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT ALL? I hate wasting it as some of itās a little expensive and canāt just toss it out. Any advice?
Happy Easter/April Foolās Day!
[Other] i finally reached my goal weight!! and I'm satisfied, I don't need to lose more!
/u/bellexy [5'8 | tubbalub | GW 118 | š mint_royale]
Created: Sun Apr 1 08:29:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88r5o1/i_finally_reached_my_goal_weight_and_im_satisfied/
---
april fools I'm still fat and miserable š
[Other] Sweetened Condensed Milk
/u/sad_skelly [5'8"|125lbs| F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 08:09:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88r0sl/sweetened_condensed_milk/
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Just licked some Sweetened Condensed Milk 2 years past its expiration date.
It had turned into a toffee caramel brown and the consistency was so thick and rich, I had to try it. It was so good. I immediately threw the rest away, (poured all of it in the sink) and a few minutes later, i felt myself getting sick.
So I threw up 2 days in a row. I'm just upset because now I can't be sure of how many calories are in my system right now.
Edit : I guess flair this as (Other) ? Not sure though
[Rant/Rave] Just a rant I guess?
/u/gotoyawning
Created: Sun Apr 1 08:04:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88qzof/just_a_rant_i_guess/
---
I got given a hoodie today and its a size too big and a mens so itās totally unflattering. Ive binged today and I look and feel like an actual fucking big fat ass blob and I hate myself. Ive gained 10kg this year and I want to die lol
Bulimics who can induce vomit without their hands or tools
/u/liuqadnic
Created: Sun Apr 1 07:18:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88qq1f/bulimics_who_can_induce_vomit_without_their_hands/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! April 01, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Apr 1 06:13:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88qdvr/daily_food_diary_april_01_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 01, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Apr 1 06:11:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88qdhc/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
---
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Rant/Rave] Crying over Easter eggs
/u/spyrothedaddy [5'4"|CW:102.8|BMI:17.6|F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 06:08:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88qcxi/crying_over_easter_eggs/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Mother suspects and is now taking me to a doctor ... I am so not ready for recovery.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 1 04:23:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88pww2/mother_suspects_and_is_now_taking_me_to_a_doctor/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Just was diagnosed as Coeliac
/u/JaimeRustic
Created: Sun Apr 1 03:35:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88pq87/just_was_diagnosed_as_coeliac/
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So after battling āeczemaā for years without any sign of it diminishing, I saw a new doctor who suggested I get tested for Dermatitis Herpetiformis which is a dermalogical response to coeliac disease- the results came back positive.
Iām not sure how to feel about this. A part of me is gutted because I was doing well in my recovery and this limits my means of bettering myself (CW 125lbs) but another part of me is beyond ecstatic that I have a perfect excuse to eat barely any carbs and avoid meals.
Iām so conflicted
[Rant/Rave] I haven't been able to wear pants for a month
/u/halfwayamused
Created: Sun Apr 1 01:34:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88p8u2/i_havent_been_able_to_wear_pants_for_a_month/
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My dysmorphia is strongest with my thighs. I'm absolutely disgusted with them. I can't bring myself to wear pants at all because I'm convinced they won't fit. Fortunately, I have dozens of dresses to wear.
Also, not ED related, but I was sexually assaulted a few days back and I haven't told anyone because nobody gives a shit. I feel like not eating is the only thing keeping me from breaking down.
ps, am new here. sorry if I missed anything.
[Rant/Rave] I feel soooo terrible.
/u/dyingtobepretty [5ft|94lbs|GW: 85lbs|F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 01:21:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88p705/i_feel_soooo_terrible/
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Iām a server. I had the opportunity to work open to close Friday and Saturday, which means A LOT of money, so I took it.
I had a really bad ādownā day on Friday and was not doing well at all, tearing up at tables and messing up orders. A lot of the other servers use adderall to get through long shifts and they all seem to love it, so when my coworker offered me a 20mg in this dire time of need, I happily accepted.
It was amazing for a while. I kicked ASS serving that night. I felt amazing in all aspects, but as soon as I got home and sat down, I got really hot and started puking. Well, dry heaving on an empty stomach. I had eaten a protein bar that morning before the shift, and drank 2 energy coffee drinks throughout the day, but that was it. I didnāt even drink any water until we closed, and this was the first time I tried adderall, so itās no wonder it made me sick.
That passed pretty quickly and I just felt odd, but that was not the worst part. I was so wired I didnāt sleep. At all. And then worked a 14 hour shift the next day.
Obviously, that morning started out even worse than Friday. So I asked for another Adderall even though I knew itād make me feel like shit later. I REALLY wasnāt going to make it through the shift on just caffeine, and Iām not in the financial position to give up a shift as good as this one. This time, I broke it in half and took them a couple hours a part.
This time wasnāt near as great. I still got the energy and concentration, but I felt so terrible all around. Apparently adderall (maybe in combo with the stress and lack of sleep) makes me clench my jaw really hard. I didnāt notice until late today, but all my teeth ache so bad, and the inside of my mouth is cut and peeling and just a wreck from, like, sucking on my own mouth, if that makes any sense. My entire mouth and throat are so sore, BUT I KEEP CATCHING MYSELF DOING IT.
My brain really stopped working. By the end of my shift, I literally couldnāt form sentences. My coworkers and customers were laughing at how bad I was talking. I still canāt form sentences out loud, and I keep completing forgetting what I was talking about in the middle of my sentence.
Ugh I just feel so fucking weird. I feel like Iām dying. Itās now been like 35 hours since Iāve slept, 27 of those hours were spent sprinting around the restaurant. And Iām still too wired to sleep. The only thing Iāve eaten since the protein bar was a few bites of a salad, 2 adderall, and a lottttt of coffee. My ex boyfriend (its complicated) took one look at me and handed me a water bottle and left to get taco bell. I know I really need to eat, but honestly, the best part of this whole thing has been that I never thought about food. Ive been thinking about using it more regularly, because it really makes all my mental problems go away, and itād really help me get to my goal body. Iām sure itād be better if I actually took a little care of myself.
Iām off tomorrow and the day after. I really canāt wait to sleepppppppppppppp
[Discussion] the dark side of EDs
/u/yungbrrrat [5'8 | 140lb | BMI: 21 ]
Created: Sun Apr 1 01:21:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88p6xe/the_dark_side_of_eds/
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TW: vomiting, blood
.
.
.
.
ugh so i woke up at 2am today as my boyfriend cane home from work (he has a night shift). i was tired but not too bothered about it. i ate 400 calories yesterday after a few days of fasting. after i got up to open the door for him i started to get extremely dizzy and disoriented, it was like being on acid or something. he was in the kitchen so he didnt see me but i fell over and smashed my head off the table. i woke up a few minutes later and i was lying in a pool of my own bile and blood, because i'd vomited as i fell but my stomach was empty.
he made me eat a cereal bar because i couldn't stop vomiting bile, and it stopped me feeling sick but now i want all the extra calories out of me and i feel rotten.
shit sucks.
[Discussion] Does anyone here use nutritional yeast?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 1 00:10:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ovjc/does_anyone_here_use_nutritional_yeast/
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I noticed that I have some in my cupboard that Iāve never used and is only 5 cals a serving so give me your recipes and recommendations please!
[Rant/Rave] Just purged for the first time in 6 years..
/u/stupidminnow
Created: Sat Mar 31 22:59:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88oil2/just_purged_for_the_first_time_in_6_years/
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I forgot how pathetic it feels. Saliva-drenched hand, face-first hunched over a device everyone puts their ass on, going to town in your throat with your preferred finger, the burning of bile, feeling like your stomach will actually explode this time. And the worst part, wanting to binge all over again when you're done.
[Help] Low-cal ātreatsā?
/u/blood-n-caffiene
Created: Sat Mar 31 22:38:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88oeib/lowcal_treats/
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Not looking to binge, just maybe a light dessert or something satisfying thatās not super high in calories. Iāve been
drinking (vodka and diet soda, mind you),so that plays a part in my question. Besides that, Iāve been doing pretty well with restricting and havenāt eaten any dairy (lacto-ovo vegetarian, but tend toward cooking vegan meals for dinner when I get off at a reasonable time). This is when I feel my healthiest- Iād like to think I get a good amount of fiber from my vegan home-cooked meals. šā¤ļøš
I did take some Bronkaid, so my usual propensity toward a crazy binge is at least slightly dulled. Iāve also been drinking copious amounts of diet soda to quell the hunger/ urge to binge -
Coke Zero and diet Canada Dry ginger ale. Caffeine is liiife!!!
[Rant/Rave] "You don't look Anorexic"
/u/ShittiestTwigAround
Created: Sat Mar 31 22:35:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88oe0i/you_dont_look_anorexic/
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On mobile so I can't flare this so please flare it as rant, thanks
So i've been struggling trying to not relapse (been recovered for a couple of months after 3ish years of flipping between ana and mia), but at this point I feel like im fully relapsed cause i've been throwing out a lot of food, eating under 700, running a couple of km a day, and religiously following my old routines. Lately i've been trying to talk to family/friends about it trying to get some help or just let some steam off on someone, but I always get the same two responses from everyone, they either ask me "why don't you just eat more it's so easy" or they say "you don't look Anorexic", both of these make me feel like some cringy kid talking about ana like it's a diet or something that I chose. As stupid as it sounds I feel like everything in me wants to show them how sick I can get, how stick thin I can look, like maybe then a doctor wont tell me "oh you're just bulimic" or "your weight's not low enough". Idk im not overweight or obese, im a low enough weight ( 6'1 and 150) and with a low bf% so I look kinda gross shirtless, but even if I was i'd still like for someone to sit me down and not talk down to me like im not some 4 year old trying to shed a couple of pounds before the summer. If someone could play devils advocate and tell me why they think like this or give some advice it would be nice.
Just a small late night rant from yaboi, ShittiestTwigAround
[Other] writing this paper has me feeling personally attacked rn
/u/101_honey [š¼5'1.5" / cw: fucking huge / gw-101]
Created: Sat Mar 31 22:33:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88odn8/writing_this_paper_has_me_feeling_personally/
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https://i.redd.it/d80rgvlo68p01.png
[Other] I thought of a great April Fool's Day prank!!
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 104.4 | 19.8 | GW: 93 | -16| F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 22:26:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88occm/i_thought_of_a_great_april_fools_day_prank/
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Now, forgive me if this is seriously insensitive, and I know to some of you it might be, and I apologize in advance to you. I don't want to make light at all of what you're going through because I know it's hell.
That said, tonight I was preparing my husband's Easter basket. I bought like 20 pounds of British chocolates and sweets, and we live in the States so there's nowhere to get good British candies, made with the same ingredients in the UK, and he never gets the opportunity to eat his favorite treats. So I had to order a huge box like a month in advance. I got all his favorite ones, and I had to wait til he was in bed to arrange his basket. He knows I bought him a ton of British sweets, but he hasn't seen them yet. As I was unwrapping the Cadbury eggs and the Jelly Babies and the Smarties etc etc, to put them inside the little plastic Easter eggs, I was collecting a TON of empty wrappers and I thought...
Since Easter falls on April Fool's Day... and he knows I was left alone all night with 20 pounds of chocolate... I could save these wrappers and when he comes by in the morning, he could see a PILE of wrappers, and he'd think I binged on 20 POUNDS OF CHOCOLATE!!
New here and I wish I wasn't so weak.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 31 22:17:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88oabj/new_here_and_i_wish_i_wasnt_so_weak/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Fuck.
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 104.4 | 19.8 | GW: 93 | -16| F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 21:47:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88o4aa/fuck/
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A couple days ago, I made a post celebrating my sharp and unexpected drop to 101.0 and I was so happy, and you all celebrated with me. I really thought I was so close. I was up to 104.8 today. Additionally, I've had a little over 1000 calories today, more than I usually have, and tomorrow's Easter and there's going to be Brunch and a half a ton of chocolate and candy, and drinking...
I'm horrified and I'm scared I'm going to gain more. I don't know how this happened.
[Goal] Today I brushed with death (Not really)
/u/slip_n_slice
Created: Sat Mar 31 21:42:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88o33x/today_i_brushed_with_death_not_really/
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[removed]
[Other] Where does fat go when you lose it? (thought you guys would find this interesting!)
/u/1caru3
Created: Sat Mar 31 20:51:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88nswx/where_does_fat_go_when_you_lose_it_thought_you/
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https://www.cnn.com/2018/03/26/health/lose-weight-where-does-it-go-partner/index.html
[Help] How do you break a binge cycle?
/u/IPreferItNotToBe
Created: Sat Mar 31 20:30:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88nopg/how_do_you_break_a_binge_cycle/
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So Iļø canāt purge anymore, my gag reflex is gone. Iļø really donāt want to gain weight... when Iļø was in treatment and couldnāt purge but couldnāt stop binging Iļø gained so much weight. Iļø need to stop binging but Iļø donāt know how. When Iām on a restricting streak Iļø donāt feel urges to binge much but itās hard to get there.
[Discussion] Whatās something you did today that you view as positive?
/u/I-Slap-Cat-Butts [5ā9.25ā | -11.6 | lw 110 | gw 99 | 23f]
Created: Sat Mar 31 20:29:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88nogr/whats_something_you_did_today_that_you_view_as/
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today I stopped after 2 Reeseās eggs! normally Iād black out and just swallow the entire bag, wrappers and all.
it doesnāt have to be huge, just anything that you view as positive āØš
[Discussion] My ED totally feeds my desire to organize my life
/u/Lillie1990 [5ā4 | CW 131.6 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 20:12:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88nl8x/my_ed_totally_feeds_my_desire_to_organize_my_life/
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You know when itās like 2 am and you decide to do your taxes because youāre feeling super productive? That productive motivational feeling is how I feel like, 99% of the time Iām doing anything related to my ED. I canāt even describe how good it feels to log every calorie I eat, every drink I drink, every mile I run, my weight, everything! Itās such a numbers game for me itās insane! Iām obsessed with logging everything I do in every app. I smoked a shit ton of weed and binged for the past two nights that Iāve been alone at home and decided to avoid the scale until the end of my current fast so I wonāt want to die and itās like killing me not to see the number. Nurturing my ED gives me the super fulfilled feeling i get when I make a payment on something except 10x as good. I feel like Iām being responsible! Then I eat and all hell breaks loose
[Discussion] What food or foods are the hardest for you to not binge on?
/u/starfiresgf
Created: Sat Mar 31 19:52:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88nh2h/what_food_or_foods_are_the_hardest_for_you_to_not/
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Mine is spaghetti. My dad made some and I measured it out trying to be healthy butttt the pot is calling my name to not fill up my plate with 5 pounds of it
[Help] I need help
/u/Dark_Samus00
Created: Sat Mar 31 19:35:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ndo3/i_need_help/
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My dad just bought two bags of Doritos and I'm supposed to be on a fast because I ate a lot yesterday. I don't want to gain anymore weight since I have to see my psychiatrist in 3 weeks and she makes me weigh myself. I'm hungry but I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm gonna binge.
[Help] A runner who stopped running
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 31 19:14:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88n99p/a_runner_who_stopped_running/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I am so messed up: An Easter story
/u/MisledDread
Created: Sat Mar 31 18:57:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88n5gr/i_am_so_messed_up_an_easter_story/
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Since schedules are all hectic for Easter, my family decided to just have a low key get together. Instead of cooking a huge amount of food, we had a local restaurant cater.
I really, really love the biscuits this restaurant makes and would gladly eat a plate full of only their biscuits. I got super excited when I realized we got an ungodly amount of biscuits for our family dinner. My dream of gorging myself with biscuits was now possible.
Problem is...I've been fasting and, even if I did allow myself to break fast, I've been fasting for so long that I would have made myself seriously ill from binging on biscuits. So you know what I did? I stole a bunch of biscuits off the table and shoved them into my purse. When I got home, I hid them in my freezer. Amongst other things hidden in there are cookies, chocolate, pizza, pasta, and other foods I like but won't let myself eat. I'm just hoarding food.
I guess I just have a serious case of FOMO when it comes to food. I won't let myself eat but I'll become terrified that the food will be gone or go bad when I do want to eat it. I also get really possessive over the food and become afraid that someone else will eat it. So I calm my fears by storing away food so that no one else can get to it and so that, when I feel ready to eat again, it'll be there waiting for me.
It's such a ridiculous thing for me to do. especially since I've never actually touched the food hidden in the freezer. Some of its been in there forever. I never fully realized how weird of a behavior this was until I was trying to figure out how I could secretly shove a crap ton of biscuits into my bag without anyone calling me out. I kept getting angry and casting judgement at everyone else who loaded their plates with those delicious biscuits. I was terrified that everyone else was gonna eat them all before I could secretly stash some away. š
[Other] Pre-Thanksgiving fast started a bit late... had a bad eating day today :/
/u/shharkie [ 5ā1.5āā | 94.6 | 18.29 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 18:51:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88n4e0/prethanksgiving_fast_started_a_bit_late_had_a_bad/
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https://i.redd.it/c3xnosq437p01.jpg
[Help] I'm relapsing because I met someone new and I want them to like me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 31 18:48:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88n3od/im_relapsing_because_i_met_someone_new_and_i_want/
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[deleted]
[Other] weird specific thinspo?
/u/volthicc
Created: Sat Mar 31 18:47:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88n3db/weird_specific_thinspo/
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Today I looked up some of the girls my boyfriend follows on instagram and since most of them are underweight, I took screenshots and use them as thinspo, because I know that even though he keeps telling me I'm skinny enough, that's secretly his type.
Is that fucked up/too personal and weird?
It just seems like nothing else really gets to me anymore.
[Discussion] Does anyone else not count calories?
/u/Mt-Moon
Created: Sat Mar 31 18:40:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88n1yh/does_anyone_else_not_count_calories/
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I'm a lazy fuck, and I have been since childhood. No amount of obsession with my weight can overpower my will to avoid checking in with anyone or anything multiple times a day, every day.
I don't weigh myself too much either, because I find when I over obsess, I end up eating more.
I get weighed every couple months at the doctor, since I get my psych meds from my primary care doc, and I know I'm steadily losing but to be honest... I judge my body based off of how my collarbones/sternum look when I take nudes for my long distance guy lol. I'm really short (4'11) and numbers fuck with my head because 3 or 4lbs on this body (small from a height perspective) is a LOT visually.
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this but I guess I'm wondering if there's anyone else like this? In an ED community it makes sense that most people track everything relentlessly, so I've always felt kind of alone in this regard. ĀÆ\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
[Rant/Rave] So sick and tired
/u/internal--screaming
Created: Sat Mar 31 17:33:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88mn41/so_sick_and_tired/
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(I am on mobile and don't know how to add flair yet. I'm sorry- stats are 5'4" and 114 lbs )
I am so tired of being fat. I am tired of being the way I am and always struggling with this. I was forced into recovery about two years ago and I've been gaining ever sense. I just want to die sometimes it's so miserable. I need the motivation to relapse and lose weight again but I feel like I just binge all the damn time.
[Discussion] (Discussion) I feel a binge coming on... help
/u/Suchsmolsuchwow
Created: Sat Mar 31 17:27:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88mlhi/discussion_i_feel_a_binge_coming_on_help/
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I've already had just over 1100 calories with Easter dinner. Like I'm good. But I feel it. That need to eat everything til you feel like you're going to die. The desire to eat every leftover and salty thing in my house.... I want to look at thinspo and not do it but I also want to go down that rabbit hole and indulge and self loath. Please send help š£šš
[Rant/Rave] SORRY HOW MANY NOW
/u/oglehoof
Created: Sat Mar 31 16:56:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88meey/sorry_how_many_now/
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https://i.redd.it/herko7rnh6p01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Re discovered stacking
/u/picattapinata
Created: Sat Mar 31 16:53:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88mdx6/re_discovered_stacking/
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I ate a small salad from a local Mediterranean style salad/rice bowl chain
Took two bronkaid and had a zero sugar monster and a cup of coffee with stevia.
This is the best Iāve felt in months. And I canāt tell anyone. š
That is all
š
[Rant/Rave] MY LOCAL BIG LOTS HAS INTERNATIONAL LA CROIX
/u/hollyhock_MMGRZHFM
Created: Sat Mar 31 16:50:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88mdas/my_local_big_lots_has_international_la_croix/
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Iām so excited! I got peach pear, which is so fucking good, and kiwi watermelon, which I havenāt tried yet. I havenāt seen these flavors anywhere else, so I bought a ridiculous amount. But they were $5 for 18 cans, so I feel like thatās worth it for suuuure.
The sales girl was equally as excited as I was about all the different flavors, even though no one else seemed to care.
[Rant/Rave] I think I have to tell somebody
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 31 16:48:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88mcvs/i_think_i_have_to_tell_somebody/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Sales girl called me skinny.
/u/HopefulWasabi [5'3 | f-a-t | GW: 105 | UGW: 100 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 16:43:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88mbm8/sales_girl_called_me_skinny/
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I was at the department store today returning a pair of jeans for a smaller size, and the girl at the counter was trying to find another pair to exchange. She's petite and super skinny (00 for sure), and we got to talking about finding the best deals on clothes/handbags... then she says, "Us skinny girls have problems buying [different cuts of jeans other than skinny]."
Honestly, that made my whole day/week. I 'relapsed' (aka tried to be normal and gained so much weight) and spent the last month and half trying to lose weight. It was such a difficult process but to be acknowledged by a stranger (and placed in the same group as her!) made me feel so, so good.
Now I have motivation to fast the whole day :')
[Help] I'm having a panic attack, I think
/u/buddyflies
Created: Sat Mar 31 16:40:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88mb19/im_having_a_panic_attack_i_think/
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I'm sorry this isn't strictly ED related, but my anxiety comes from my ED, it's really flaring up right now and this is such a supportive community. I am drowning in anxiety I can hardly breathe, I desperately need to go back to my psychologist but I can't without seeing the doctor first and going to the gp makes me so anxious I put it off for so long. Plus the last time I saw that doctor she told me my issues would be solved if I "count calories and exercise" so I'm not keen to go back.
I feel so nauseous but the nausea doesn't go away when I throw up it gets so much worse and makes my anxiety so much worse. I thought I was doing so well with recovery and managing my anxiety but right now I feel like it was all a lie and I am struggling. Guys I am struggling so hard. I feel like I just keep planting poisonous berry bushes, then eating the berries from them and then wondering why I feel so sick afterwards. I'm doing this to myself but I don't know how to stop.
I think I just needed to write this all down and get it out of my head. Thank you for reading if you did. You're all beautiful
[Discussion] I purposely eat foods that won't keep me full for long.
/u/tjking333 [5'3ft š® CW:126lb š® BMI:22 š® -40lb š® GW:100 š® 21F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 15:56:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88m0fr/i_purposely_eat_foods_that_wont_keep_me_full_for/
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It seems sort of contrary to what most others on here do, but I was curious as to if anyone else does this.
I'm restricting to about 200 kcal per day, but little I eat I try to make as unfilling as possible. I do this so on days where I fast (trying for every other day), I don't feel as insanely hungry as I would if I were eating foods that actually filled me up.
[Rant/Rave] Crying, need to vent and I have no where else safe
/u/bpdix
Created: Sat Mar 31 15:34:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88lvcl/crying_need_to_vent_and_i_have_no_where_else_safe/
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i need to vent post anonymously to someone because im stressed and feeling bad and im really unhappy in my current situation. it's not super ed related but i feel worse because of it
im 17, turning 18 in 2 months, in december i got withdrawn from high school and transferred to my state's virtual school to finish my high school diploma. i had only 1 semester left but i also failed my fall semester as i didnt go to school for a month before officially transferring out. i went on medications for my anxiety and depression (which i had to get over the fear of weight gain from and do it for my own good), booked therapy and psychiatry appointments, and i was in a school environment that i preferred more then physical school, totally should have been able to finish high school
i dont know where to start with this because there is a long history of things that have occurred, but in short, my family, and especially my mother, are emotionally abusive towards me. she makes me feel like im the bad guy and shes the victim and if i call her out she gets angry and defensive and shows she "isnt abusive" by being abusive :^)
falling back to last august, i had finally been able to escape them by moving in with my s/o and his family, but then his parents moved to a smaller house and there was no room for me, and i have no one else to fall to as all my family who isnt my parents and sister live in canada. so i moved back to my house with my parents earlier this month
in the last month, i have relapsed my ed much harder, im gaining weight which feels so bad but i just keep binge eating from the stressful environment, i dropped all of my virtual classes and im going to get my GED, and i've stopped taking my meds as im getting the paranoia again of even more weight gain on top of my bad eating habits
my mum just came into my room and basically told me im a loser and that it's my fault my s/o has educational and emotional issues since i'm influencing him based on my decisions (he actually has family history and wasnt doing well in school before he even got to high school), she told me shes going into therapy and my psychiatrist appointment to tell them i havent been taking my meds and i know shes going to turn it so that shes somehow the victim, i was supposed to move in with my s/o's dad once he gets a new house but she told me that if i do i'm going to be 100% cut off financially from them which i cant do to his dad or last especially if i can start college this fall.
i started hiding my face as she was talking to me (i was already feeling extremely physically ill from binge eating immediately before she talked to me) and she yelled and clapped her hands in my face that i needed to look at her because she needs to be in control of me and im too weak and scared to fight back (and she knows that)
i was supposed to start an internship at her work because i could get easily hired since she already worked there but i dont want to anymore because i cant sit there trapped in the car for 30 minutes a day as she makes me feel like shit and anything i say to defend myself she easily twists it back to be me victimizing her
i need to get out of this house and im so emotionally distraught, i hate myself so much and i dont want her to be controlling me by the throat anymore but i cant do anything about it unless i 1.) get a ton of money instantly to be able to move out (not possible lol) or 2.) stand up for myself and make her understand how i feel without her twisting it on me and trying to put words in my mouth (not possible either, ive already tried)
thanks for reading if you read all of that, i just need to vent and i have no where else and i know it probably doesnt make sense bc im upset and not thinking super clearly
tldr; i have an abusive parent who makes me feel like a loser instead of supporting me to get past mental illnesses and i cant escape the household so i need to suffer and vent here just for now
[Discussion] My poor sweet summer child, so much to learn about the world
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Sat Mar 31 15:27:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ltg1/my_poor_sweet_summer_child_so_much_to_learn_about/
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https://i.redd.it/5dkgab8d26p01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Threw out all the food Iād binge on
/u/sad_gurllspooky
Created: Sat Mar 31 15:18:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88lrc8/threw_out_all_the_food_id_binge_on/
---
My dad has always made comments on my weight and how I need to lose some pounds. Yesterday he did it again and something just broke inside of me. Iāve been secretly struggling with binging/purging for a few months and once I finally started feeling/getting better that happened and now i feel like Iāll fall back into the old cycle on binging and purging. Currently havenāt eaten anything today and I just threw out all the food I wanted to scarf down. Donāt really know what to do from here. A part of me wants to at least eat a sandwich or something before I go to work, but another part of me just fears eating anything at all. So far Iāve only been drinking Coke Zero and chewing on gum. I work at a place that sells a variety of food and employees get 50% off so maybe Iāll eat something there later on tonight but idk. Sorry for the rant, just thought Iād get this out somewhere.
[Intro] Introduction
/u/sad_skelly [5'8"|125lbs| F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 15:05:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88lo99/introduction/
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Hi guys! I've been on this sub for ages, but I just made a new account and I finally added my flair.
I suffer from a restrictive eating disorder with bouts of purging small meals.
I guess I've been really avtively restricting for about a year now. I lost over 50 kilos so far and definitely plan to lose much more.
Even though I still weigh a lot, I have a super bony frame and therefore look objectively thinner than I actually should be.
I've recently lost pretty much my favourite relative, my grandpa, due to old age and it's wrecked my relationship with food even further. Just purged this evening even though my overall total was 1000 cal for the day.
Why can't I just be normal?
[Rant/Rave] [rant] āYouāre too ugly to have issuesā
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: 155 | GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 14:59:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88lmwt/rant_youre_too_ugly_to_have_issues/
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A guy Iāve been kind of seeing texted me that last night. He had asked me why I had been acting so weird lately and I revealed my bipolar diagnosis.
I know the guy is a prick for saying that and I shouldnāt believe it but ouch, it still hurt bad. Mostly because I already believe that about myself and to have an outsider say it just seemed to confirm my fears.
I wish I could say a clapped back with some witty response but I didnāt even reply, just blocked his number. Been thinking about it since.
The only āpositiveā is Iām now back to restricting hardcore.
[Rant/Rave] "How do you guys stay so skinny?"
/u/squamouspuppies [5'9" | M]
Created: Sat Mar 31 14:26:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88leo1/how_do_you_guys_stay_so_skinny/
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Last night a woman at work said this to me as she was coming in, taking note of the box of cinnamon sticks on the counter. I took a cursory glance around - just me and my coworker - and I squeaked out, *"us?"* "Yes!" she said.
What a rush. It made my whole week.
EDIT: I apologize if this is considered a low effort post. It just made me really happy and I had to tell someone. What makes it funnier is that my coworker probably didn't even think twice about it, lol.
[Other] TW: Suicide
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 31 14:14:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88lbx1/tw_suicide/
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[deleted]
[Other] Something my SO said to me.
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F 23]
Created: Sat Mar 31 13:54:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88l752/something_my_so_said_to_me/
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He's using some of his vacation days next week and I said I was excited.
He said, "Me too baby, I just wish you could take a vacation day."
He was talking about counting my calories and my body image issues. This really resonated with me. So I think I'm gonna take a "vacation day" tomorrow - not log anything, and just take a break from the food obsession. I deserve it!
[Rant/Rave] Something my roommateās kid said just made my day
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 121 | BMI: 23.6 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 13:27:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88l0tj/something_my_roommates_kid_said_just_made_my_day/
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My roommateās 8 year old daughter: āI bet Ghosts could fit in some of my clothesā
I about cried, yāall
(canāt update flair but 117 at 5ā0ā right now, definitely donāt feel small at all but that was amazing)
[Help] Ever since I lost 60 lbs my hair has been falling out.. a lot. What vitamins/supplements do you guys recommend? Any other ideas to make it stop?
/u/tinymocha
Created: Sat Mar 31 13:26:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88l0kv/ever_since_i_lost_60_lbs_my_hair_has_been_falling/
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I currently take: 500 mg vitamin C, One A Day VitaCraves for her(teen), and 400 mg Magnesium
Struggling
/u/SkinandBones10108
Created: Sat Mar 31 13:15:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88kxv5/struggling/
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I just got out of inpatient two days ago and i have a meal plan that says i have to have an entree, 2 sides, and a dessert for lunch and dinner. my parents are making sure i eat and im gonna have supervised meals at school. idk what to do. i went into the hospital at 137 and came out at 146. im 5'3. i have to have weekly weigh ins at the clinic so theyll know if i lose weight unless i sneak some weights into my pocket or chug water which ill probably do. idk im just freaking out rn.
[Rant/Rave] I've become obsessed with being disgustingly thin by August, when I'll attend school with people who last saw me at 150 pounds.
/u/FromMyIvoryTower [5'2 | CW: 95 | BMI: 17 | GW: 70 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 12:08:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88kgyw/ive_become_obsessed_with_being_disgustingly_thin/
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I guess I don't have a conscience anymore, because the only thing fueling me is the thought of my old friends being revolted by me. The irrational part of me thinks that being sick will strip me of my reservations and change my personality beyond recognition, like if I suffer enough I'll stop recoiling from life and magically become the charismatic, self-assured person I've always wanted to be. I know that nothing will change and I'll still be boring and emotionally stunted me, that the shock and the satisfaction it brings won't be worth four months of suffering, but reality doesn't fully register anymore.
[Help] Burst blood vessel
/u/biggoldie
Created: Sat Mar 31 11:21:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88k4yf/burst_blood_vessel/
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Just looking for other people's experiences. I have a tiny burst blood vessel in my eye from purging last night. If I purge again do I risk that spot getting worse? I know it's a risk to burst blood vessel's but if you burst one in your eye does that keep you from doing it again? I'm really struggling with food today and while I don't want to purge it's such a struggle.
[Rant/Rave] Motivation to stay on track
/u/abagofnudesloths [5'3 | CW 138.8 | GW1 120 | WL -41.2 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 10:56:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88jybp/motivation_to_stay_on_track/
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Hey guys,
Just found out a couple days ago that my best friend/ex boyfriend is coming back to the US in August and Iām flying out to his state to visit him before he goes back overseas. I was fat when we dated, and he even saw me at my highest weight which was sometime after we broke up. Iām determined to be thin af by the time I see him!
Iāve got all the way until August and thereās no reason that I canāt reach by first GW of 120 by then. Even a ānormalā person could lose ~18 pounds by then! All I have to do is stave off any sort of binge and keep going with these 500 or less kcal days. I occasionally have to eat with friends or family so my progress will be slowed slightly. Iām just so happy guys! I havenāt seen him since September so I really really want him to be surprised at how small I am. This is great motivation :)
Hope yāall are having good days too!
binged an entire Easter basket š
/u/conspicere [š 5'3.5" | CW: 110 | GW: šÆ | š]
Created: Sat Mar 31 09:41:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88jfxn/binged_an_entire_easter_basket/
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Hi loves!
Haven't been too active here the past few weeks because of international travel and just generally being a fat piece of trash but I need help.
EVERY single Tuesday and Thursday this month I've gone to class, came home, and binged/purged uncontrollably. I can successfully restrict all other 5 days of the week but for some stupid reason there's something about my Tues/Thurs schedule that's bringing out the binge monster in me lately. I can't just skip class because attendance is part of my grade so I'm stuck on how to avoid this b/p pattern.
I live 700 miles away from my family at the moment and my mom is HUGE on Easter, so she sent me an Easter basket in the mail. :( I was able to successfully resist it on Wednesday but lo and behold, come Thursday, I cave and eat the ENTIRE thing. That's right, I ate an entire Easter basket's worth of chocolate in one sitting!!! š I desperately tried to purge it for 20 minutes but nothing would come out and now I feel like a big fat failure.
I was able to get down to 108 lbs before I went abroad for spring break, but now I'm back up to 112 and I'm so so mad at myself for ruining my progress.
If you've read this far, thank you! Hoping y'all's Easter is going better than mine so far haha š
[Rant/Rave] when my mirror speaks it always minces words
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Mar 31 09:38:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88jf2z/when_my_mirror_speaks_it_always_minces_words/
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on mobile flair as rant rave please
the dysmorphia continues. So does the dysphoria. I feel withdrawn. My clothes don't fit anymore and I should be happy but I am not.
I haven't weighed myself in three weeks or so. I don't remember even taking note. I can see my ribs but still feel squishy and soft. My legs look like bloated sausages but I have gone from a side 12/13 to a size 8/10. Every angle of picture highlights my bloated face and extra chins.
when I go out into the world I see people heavier, who seem happy. they have partners, jobs, careers, confidence and seem happy at least and I just feel numb. I hate my anatomy and I hate how my body looks. I don't even know if what I hate is real or not though or if the delusion is that strong.
If everyone ignores me maybe it's for a reason. I am quiet and reserved anymore because I don't even want to contribute to the weight of my existance. I want to be forgotten. People never noticed I was around so they can't necessarily miss me.
my mirror and my world could be some thing else but I am not sure what I see anymore or if it is real.
w.
[Rant/Rave] My bf broke up with me
/u/fatchanceforthin-ice [5ā6 | 113.6 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 09:33:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88jdxg/my_bf_broke_up_with_me/
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It felt completely out of the blue. I never expected it or saw any warning signs. I have to move out.
Part of me is like āyay now I can get my own place and sit around and be depressed and lose a shit ton more weightā
But I sort of want to go sit alone at a restaurant and order filet and wine. Even though Iāve been vegetarian for about a year now.
Idk why Iām posting. I want someone to tell me to go eat steak.
Because even in the most non-food-related situations, itās about food. Itās always about food.
[Rant/Rave] What could have been a good night was turned sour by this stupid fucking illness
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.5 | 19.55/19.32 | GW: 57 | UGW: <55 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 09:27:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88jccc/what_could_have_been_a_good_night_was_turned_sour/
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Long ass rant (with a small rave), feel free to ignore.
So I have a friend from DK visiting me in Berlin. We went out last night and I had planned a good outfit which I couldn't even wear because I lent her my clothes. And all I could think was that I would have looked better in it than her. Which is completely the wrong thing to think. But I couldn't stop comparing myself to her and everyone else. How did I measure up? This other girl with us was way skinnier than me but other than that I was thinner than the vast majority there. But I still couldn't stop critiquing every fucking flaw that I noticed in myself.
Anyways, I've been good lately and I don't want to break my streak. My friend wanted to grab some food so I ordered the small falafel box with salad (instead of fries). I specifically said salad three times, NOT fries and guess what I got. FUCKING FRIES! I fucking snapped at them when i got my food and immediately felt like shit for sounding like a massive bitch so they gave me a salad on the side. I picked the falafel out of the box and left the fries but more than half the hummus was on the fries instead of the falafel. I guess I should happy for the further reduction of calories but I fucking love hummus which is why I never buy it for myself.
Only had one drink that night (didn't dance enough to justify more) and ate just one fry, which I'm proud of but for fuck's sake I'm still fucking salty about it (pun intended). I hate that this small mistake tainted an otherwise good evening.
But silver lining! My long term FWB from DK will be visiting me in May! Just confirmed so I wanna see how low I can get before he gets here. I have a countdown on my phone and a stupid secret photo of him as a background which has been working wonderfully.
[Tip] my boyfriend is at work so i portioned my egg into 120kcal bits
/u/yungbrrrat [5'8 | 140lb | BMI: 21 ]
Created: Sat Mar 31 08:40:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88j17e/my_boyfriend_is_at_work_so_i_portioned_my_egg/
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https://i.redd.it/p7ridm4f14p01.jpg
[Help] Ok I need help getting through a massive fuckup Iām freaking out.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 31 08:02:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88it1l/ok_i_need_help_getting_through_a_massive_fuckup/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] nothing really makes me happy anymore and the food is the only thing that makes me feel "high" or excited
/u/ceruleandoll
Created: Sat Mar 31 07:54:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ir8m/nothing_really_makes_me_happy_anymore_and_the/
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why is my brain programmed like this? whenever i talk to other people, they have a bigger world map of goals and desires in their mind than me, who only desires that piece of delicious creamy cake at the end of the day or a delicious, juicy burger which i can't have because i don't want to die fat and i just want that beautiful skinny waist and those beautiful skinny legs and arms and that beautiful structured face but how come i don't really feel excited about anything else life offers me but FOOD? i don't get it. my brain must be flawed. i feel like a zombie most of the time. if i let myself get fat, i want to die so i am basically never happy or content.
[Rant/Rave] i'm so fucking upset and pissed off please help
/u/yungbrrrat [5'8 | 140lb | BMI: 21 ]
Created: Sat Mar 31 07:41:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88iomb/im_so_fucking_upset_and_pissed_off_please_help/
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so i've recently got back into weight loss iv been eating healthy and making plan to exercise. the only exercise i like is swimming, i'm autistic and i just can't do other exercises because they frustrate me and i hate them.
my boyfriend knows ive been planning exercise all week. i bought myself a new costume and goggles and ive been planning my travel.
i'm staying at his this weekend. i got up early and all morning i got ready for the pool, i packed my bag and waited til it was time to go. i was leaving at the same time as him. he has work today so he was moody and being frustrated with me all morning because i didnt have much to talk about with him.
he wanted me to smoke a bowl with him but i said no because i'm swimming. he got really pissed and moody i wouldnt get high with him so i had a few draws and got high (im a lightweight)
when we got back in all he was doing was arguing that im being quiet and moody. i was high af and he was being a dick so obviously im not having nice conversation with him.
by the time we were leaving i felt like shit and i was couchlocked and didnt feel like doing anything. i got to the front door with him and just couldnt make myself go outside because it's freezing and the pool is an hour away.
so i stayed in instead. i tried to do fitness youtube videos but i fucking hated it and i couldn't do yoga because i'm high and sad. now i'm sitting in the living room in my pool/gym gear having an autistic meltdown. i fucking hate him for ruining my saturday. i feel like a useless flabby blob
[Rant/Rave] triggered by a girl i've never even seen
/u/orkestrels
Created: Sat Mar 31 06:38:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88id2d/triggered_by_a_girl_ive_never_even_seen/
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a few months ago my boyfriend was trying to say it was alright for me to weigh a bit more/gain weight by talking about this girl he knew in high school he had a crush on who was "super skinny, like 80 lbs" and he mentioned how it hurt when she sit in his lap because of how bony she was - even though he says the same thing about me.. halfway through talking about her it was like he forgot he was trying to make me feel better and just kept talking about how tiny she was.
then last night we were buying groceries and in the car he brought her up again for some reason. he talked about how skinny she was and how once she wore "just a sports bra and short shorts" and he laughed because it was dumb to wear when it was cold but admitted it was "really hot." he kept bringing up how she was 80 lbs, and didn't get why i got all quiet after, lmfao.. he knows i have an eating disorder, but i can't help but feel he thinks i'm fat when he does stuff like this.
i can't stop thinking about this girl. i never want to eat again. god, i want to cry. i can't even cry because he'll just think i'm jealous.. i am, i guess, but i just feel so disgusting and pathetic, just a fat piece of trash that is crying about being fat. i just want to fast for days and days.. i don't even know who this girl is, really. but just the idea of her hurts me.. i feel so stupid. she probably doesn't even know i exist.
[Rant/Rave] Hate how dishonest I've become with my parents since ED
/u/Violet_Cake_2 [5'3 | 113 | 19.8 |F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 06:33:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ic7p/hate_how_dishonest_ive_become_with_my_parents/
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I'm currently in college and have suffered from anorexia, bulimia and BED throughout the years. While I'm able to eat healthy during week and lose weight due to a busy schedule, when I go home to my parents' place on the weekends, I binge. Every. Single. Time. No matter what I tell myself beforehand, no matter how well my week has been going. It's almost like there's something about their house that just worsens my ED. My brain associates it with binging, purging and starving since I spent my high school years in that house, doing that almost everyday at the worst of my disorder.
Ever since I moved out, like 2-3 years ago, my weight and ED have more or less stabilized and I'm currently around 110-113 at 5'3 and okay with that.
However, when I come home, I usually plan to spend the whole weekend there with my parents. But since the weekend usually starts with a binge, I always cut it short and make up some lame excuse about extra school work to leave the house earlier than planned and go back to my apartment where there's no binge foods and where I can lose all that weight that I just gained.
My parents support my education 100% (I'm currently quite busy in med school) and never question my excuses even when they're made up.
I feel like such a selfish ungrateful brat for cutting my family time short just because I want to avoid gaining weight. It's like, my family should matter more than my weight, right? They mean the world to me, I'd be nowhere in life without them.
But nope, ED brain got my priorities all messed up.
Sorry for this long rant, I hope you all enjoy a nice long weekend!
[Rant/Rave] I won! And Iām disgusted with myself.
/u/fatyoyo [32F | 5ā2ā | CW 152 lbs | GW 105 lbs |]
Created: Sat Mar 31 06:18:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88i9lf/i_won_and_im_disgusted_with_myself/
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I was in a weight loss competition over Lent with a group of friends. The winner was decided by highest % of starting weight lost. I won, but it was really close and that made me feel like a failure. Iām happy everyone in the group had really good results, but I know I should have been able to do better. I severely restricted food for 6 weeks, but easily half or more of my calories during this time came from alcohol. Probably more. I lost 15 pounds, but I should have easily lost 20. And Iām still fat. And even if I had lost 20 Iād still be fat. Because Iām an alcoholic with no willpower. My body is fucking disgusting and I donāt even have the self control to change it. I just look at myself in the mirror and think āhow the fuck did you let this happen?ā It just seems hopeless and I donāt know whether to fast today because Iām a fatass or go on a ridiculous binge, because fuck it, Iām a fatass anyway.
[Other] Fitbit Community?
/u/PurplePensOnly [5'8 | CW 147 | -31 | UGW 120 | GW 140 | 22F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 06:14:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88i8zl/fitbit_community/
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I know we have a discord and a Kik and a all sorts of social media, is there a large coalescence of people on Fitbit?
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! March 31, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 31 06:11:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88i8co/stupid_questions_saturday_march_31_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for March 31, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 31, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 31 06:10:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88i8ar/daily_food_diary_march_31_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 31, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Does anyone know roughly the calories for this meal?
/u/PmMeUrKhajiit
Created: Sat Mar 31 04:37:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88humd/does_anyone_know_roughly_the_calories_for_this/
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There's a dish I get from the Thai near me, it's the safest one I think. Basically it's steamed barramundi, a filet about the size of a man's fist, or a bit smaller, with a spicy sweet lime dressing/sauce on a bed of rocket with capsicum and lime and stuff on top, probably about a good tablespoon or so. The sauce is very thin, and it's very spicy but I can taste that there's a whack of probably palm sugar in it. Can someone eyeball the calories for me? I put it at about ~250 or so but someone more experienced maybe can help šš
Eating whatever as long as it fits your cal budget?
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 109 | GW2: 105 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Sat Mar 31 04:25:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ht0u/eating_whatever_as_long_as_it_fits_your_cal_budget/
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[removed]
Is it still possible to relapse after a few years?
/u/dkjones05
Created: Sat Mar 31 03:09:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88hiz5/is_it_still_possible_to_relapse_after_a_few_years/
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I was in a phone call with a close friend who was eating dinner, but accidentally threw up a little after she said she felt like she ate too much. She then revealed that she used to have an eating disorder 3 years ago, but didn't specify what it was (I'm assuming it is bulimia as she claimed to induce self-vomiting).
While she says she has no desire or tendency to experience these episodes, it worries me that she may be going through a relapse. Should I suggest for her to see a doctor about this?
[Other] Stopped purging because I physically lost my gag reflex
/u/Auredious [5,9 | CW: 125 | BMI 18.5 | M]
Created: Sat Mar 31 02:50:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88hgoj/stopped_purging_because_i_physically_lost_my_gag/
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I remember when I used to be able to throw up with one finger in my mouth.
I remember hurling so often that I only stopped when my throat bled.
I remember when it didn't take 5 minutes with my entire hand in my mouth to hurl.
I wish I found it easier to restrict than to binge/purge.
Whatās your plan for Easter?
/u/defenestrationdisco [5'8 | CW 54kg | GW 50kg | BMI 17.9 | -3kg | 19F]
Created: Sat Mar 31 02:50:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88hglk/whats_your_plan_for_easter/
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Itās tomorrow for me since Iām in NZ and itās really fucking up my restriction. Iām going out for lunch with my friend and I canāt decide wether itās better to go for a slice of cake which will end up being like 400-700 calories or some hollaindaise-smothered eggs Benedict monstrosity which I donāt even want to think about. Send help.
[Other] The egg definitely came before the chicken - appreciation post
/u/LionelsLoveChild
Created: Sat Mar 31 02:27:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88hdks/the_egg_definitely_came_before_the_chicken/
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I came to this page after I acknowledged I had an eating disorder. I always avoided them previously as I feared it would give me more ideas, more fuel to my fire, more validation for my current self hate. It is interesting to see so many people share thoughts, feelings, fears, goals. Instead of enabling my ED it makes me feel like I am not alone and strange for having these thoughts. Makes me feel like there is not something wrong with my head specifically.
A lot of us are striving for perfection and it sucks that something or someone made us believe that was possible, this is just an appreciation post for all those who show the human side.
We are all really diverse, in age, sex, profession, weight, disorder. Really helps cement the idea that ANYONE can be affected. It is not something about us specifically.
Okay rambles over, thanks for being an amazing community.
[Other] thought we could all relate on this.
/u/elena1099
Created: Sat Mar 31 00:20:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88gvxp/thought_we_could_all_relate_on_this/
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https://i.redd.it/36ncxirzk1p01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Ok, I'll say it. I know.... . . .. ... self awareness
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 107.8 | -30.2 | F | G: 95]
Created: Sat Mar 31 00:06:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88gtpy/ok_ill_say_it_i_know_self_awareness/
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Not too long ago I met a youngish girl that is extremely slender. I've bumped into her 4+ times in various circumstancs. She is friendly and nice, and I'm not judging her on that. But I do have an idea of what she's up to.
Every. time. I see her. She talks about food and is **SHOVING** high calorie food in her mouth. I've seen her casually consume food that she's obsessed with...... .... . at least the food I'm obsessed with. ... ......
My jealousy is showing and it doesn't look good on a woman my age. Frankly, I'm not sure how to deal. Ultimately, no matter my thoughts, the conclusion will always be that I'm pathetic. I'm pushing all of my insecurities on to her, and it's not fair.
It's not going to help her and it's certainly not going to help me. Sometimes I feel like I'm a third party observing everything from a distance.
It's weird that I'm using her to distract me. I mean, there is absolutely no way you consumer snickers, pizza, brownies 5 times a week without gaining weight.
[Other] I stopped purging literally seconds before my boyfriend got home
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 120.8lbs | 18.85 | -44lbs| F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 23:51:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88grf8/i_stopped_purging_literally_seconds_before_my/
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I dunno if I'm just that lucky or just that good.
[Help] butter chicken calories?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 30 21:54:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88g7bm/butter_chicken_calories/
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[deleted]
Today I had to sniff my vomit in order to vomit
/u/IPreferItNotToBe
Created: Fri Mar 30 21:01:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88fxc3/today_i_had_to_sniff_my_vomit_in_order_to_vomit/
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So Iļø just tried to purge for the third time today and it was really difficult. I think Iļø have sustained some throat damage or somethingās wrong and since that has happened itās become super hard to puke. This was the first time Iļø needed to shove my nose under the rim of the toilet and SNIFF while my fingers were down my throat in order to be able to puke. That worked so Iļø grabbed a little cotton pad, dipped Iļøt in the vomit, held it to my nose and kept sniffing it while gagging myself to actually get myself to throw up.... It was scary.... id better not binge anymore just in case. This feels really sad and pathetic. Iļøt took so much fuckin effort to do that and even then, Iļø wasnāt throwing up fast enough to get shit out of me. The vomit sinks back down and takes a lot of gags to get back up if you wait too long between each time vomit comes out.
EC stack and stimulant meds?
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7 | 120.4 | 118.79 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Fri Mar 30 20:38:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88fsyr/ec_stack_and_stimulant_meds/
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Quick question: Iām on an ADHD stimulant medication for both ADHD and narcolepsy, would an EC stack be too much? I still have a daily caffeine intake (coffee & tea usually) and that doesnāt bother me. I donāt know if this is a dumb question or not...
[Other] Instagram recently-inpatient recovery accounts...
/u/PalmDzert
Created: Fri Mar 30 20:15:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88fo95/instagram_recentlyinpatient_recovery_accounts/
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The world of pro-ed/pro-recovery instagram is both amazing and depressing. I find myself drawn to my fake insta account 80% of the time because these people are real and tell their stories almost unfiltered. There are some accounts that are more like a reality TV show to me than anything else. But those accounts that have existed since 2014ā¦ I know them. I know their stories.
Iāve seen a lot of girls go inpatient and then completelyā¦ utterly relapse. Some come out of IP already set on relapsing. Others come out super pro-recovery and then relapse months later almost out of nowhere. A few (one Iām thinking of in particular) lasted more than a year. Then boom. Relapse. The only people who maintain a healthy weight are those who got into bodybuilding and eventually chilled out (shout out to those ladies).
Recently, someone I follow came out of a private ED program and has gained a bit of weight. Bless her heart, she is very honest on instagram but is fighting for recovery. I want it so badly for her. Sheās in college with a family that backs her up. But honestly? I donāt think she will keep it up. I think that within the year, she will go silent, and then post a picture of her boney back again. Thatās how it is.
Seeing this kind of validates my decision to not pursue full recovery. I keep my weight slightly underweight, I have a kick ass career and a graduate degree from the university that I dreamt about throughout my childhood, I have an amazing boyfriend, and doctors usually pin me as āsmallā but rarely pick up on anything. I never stick with a doctor who knows about my ED. This drives my mom crazyā¦ but why go through the hell of recovery if itās not going to work? Iām making peace with this part of me.
[Help] Dreading Easter
/u/ragamuffin_77
Created: Fri Mar 30 20:12:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88fnsm/dreading_easter/
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Ugh I have three young-ish children who are going to be getting a lot of chocolate in the next couple of days.
I must resist. Chocolate is my favourite thing in the world.
I have to find a way to survive this
[Rant/Rave] Hey Kiwis of proED you can now buy the new flavours of Diet Coke!
/u/squishyskeleton [Height 5ā5 | CW 52.3kg | BMI 19.1 | Weight Lost 20+kg | F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 20:09:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88fn1c/hey_kiwis_of_proed_you_can_now_buy_the_new/
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https://i.redd.it/br7aaju2c0p01.jpg
I don't know what to do anymore
/u/runawaythrowaway47
Created: Fri Mar 30 19:52:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88fjh5/i_dont_know_what_to_do_anymore/
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DISCLAIMER: This might seem like the pettiest thing in the fucking world so you don't have to read this if you don't want to
So, I used to have a youtube channel that was based around ED's and such. It was basically this subreddit onto videos if that makes sense and then I login and see my channel has been suspended... The channel where I could express my feelings, make friends, the thing I've spent months and hours and have put aside things for to make the videos. It's all gone. One good thing going for me... ONE. and then is has to be taken away. Like I was socializing something I can never do on my own damn own and it just is gone. Like that. Why does everything good going in my life have to go? I'm honestly on the verge of tears right now and I feel as if I'm gonna have a breakdown and I would isolate myself from everybody and everything and just stay in my room unless forced to leave. This isn't helping me with my depression. I love losing everything I've worked for and loved. Nothing new so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I'm ready to go in my room, skip my 10:00 protein shake, cry and watch netflix whilst drawing and in my bra and shorts. I just don't know I'e told my friends and they've said the same fake nice stuff like "oh im so sorry". I dedicate myself to them so much and I do everything for them and lift them up when they're down and I'm down as well and I can't receive the same thing? Can life give me a break for once, all I ask is for something to go right in my life. At this point I'm the only one who doesn't get any support in any of my friendships or relationships. But if I unfriend them then I won't have any friends... (btw all the people im talking about are online, the only way I can make friends) Anyways, whoever is reading this thank you for your time I appreciate it... Have a nice day.
[Goal] I'm insecure about my weight
/u/End_Me_PLEASEordie
Created: Fri Mar 30 19:41:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88fheh/im_insecure_about_my_weight/
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I'm a boy, and am 16 years old. I've always been skinny throughout my life, having never weighed more than 117 pounds, lbut it hasn't bothered me, seeing how I would be optimistic about this. However, ever since last year I've been consious about it. I've tried eating to gain more weight,but to no avail. I wanna at least weigh 120 pounds. Any advice on how?
[Other] I broke my binge cycle AND I got the job I applied for!!
/u/fuskinari [5'1" | CW 133.6 | GW 110 | UGW 95 | 21F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 19:40:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88fhc5/i_broke_my_binge_cycle_and_i_got_the_job_i/
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I don't usually post here, just lurk and occasionally comment, but I'm just so excited!!! I've kicked my binges in the butt and I just got the call today; I got the absolutely *amazing* job I've been interviewing for for a month now!! I just had to share it!! I feel like I'm *so* on the right tracks!!
[Other] Realized why people say I look different
/u/poetsandscientists
Created: Fri Mar 30 19:07:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88fahu/realized_why_people_say_i_look_different/
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I compared side by side pictures of me from high school because lately a ton of people are saying they didnāt recognize me/I look different. Iām a few years out so I thought it was maybe age but I when Iām at my thinnest I look the same and my weight now (10-12 pounds heavier) I look sooo different. I have a small frame and donāt carry extra weight well at all. Still, I didnāt think it was that noticeable :(
At any rate, I look so much cuter and happier when Iām really skinny, so this is extra motivation to lose weight once again.
[Discussion] Anyone else here with ARFID?
/u/existentialpanic
Created: Fri Mar 30 18:53:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88f7ju/anyone_else_here_with_arfid/
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For anyone who doesn't know, that's "Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder." I know it's not as common as the other disorders talked about on here, but I'm curious.
[Rant/Rave] I can finally have pizza again! 630 calories for the whole thing! š
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F 23]
Created: Fri Mar 30 18:49:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88f6pb/i_can_finally_have_pizza_again_630_calories_for/
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https://imgur.com/Dx4POEO
[Rant/Rave] I don't know if I sincerely don't want anyone to be attracted to me or if I'm convincing myself so I don't have to acknowledge that no one would want me anyway.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 30 17:39:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88er07/i_dont_know_if_i_sincerely_dont_want_anyone_to_be/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE not really have a "real" reason?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 30 17:30:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ep3s/dae_not_really_have_a_real_reason/
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[deleted]
[Other] Friday night dinner / A.K.A. best dinner ever
/u/Bridget6th [5'8" | CW135 | 20.5 | UGW119 | 33F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 17:01:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ein8/friday_night_dinner_aka_best_dinner_ever/
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https://imgur.com/LkiPjDC
[Other] not having periods is the only good thing that's come out of this disorder
/u/cisheterpatriarchy [5'6 | 146lbs | GW: 116lbs]
Created: Fri Mar 30 16:36:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88eco1/not_having_periods_is_the_only_good_thing_thats/
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mines almost 3 weeks late and i'm sure it's not coming any time soon. like... no bloating?? no random irritability? no blood coming out of me? great
i thought that you only lose it when you restrict heavily for a while but i've been binging-fasting every day for the past month and a half = i keep gaining and losing weight so that's what caused it.
Unless my body decides to fuck everything up right now and give me my period weeks late at a time where i absolutely do NOT want it??
[Discussion] I f-ing hate grocery stores
/u/eighttorches
Created: Fri Mar 30 16:11:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88e6y1/i_fing_hate_grocery_stores/
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Had a breakdown in the cereal isle because two almost identical boxes of rice chex (same serving size and everything) had a 10 cal difference. I feel like i cant trust anything. Does anyone else have any good stories? I want to know if im alone with stuff like this
[Other] Being a mom
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Fri Mar 30 16:10:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88e6gx/being_a_mom/
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I have a wonderful 4 year old that i hope will never have to experience any of this in her life, i try my hardest and do the best i can to keep her happy and healthy and far away from my issues. But i digress, i still have my own problems. Have any of you mommies experienced getting to a very low weight, but having your lower stomach look bloated? Im not talking excess skin or fat, just always sticking out no matter what. I dont exercise so it might just be me. I was curious if maybe this is the answer to my previous question. Like my uterus making me look fat lol. God this question seems awful. Im sorry. Just curious.
[Goal] Iām not going to binge.
/u/isaezraa [5'3 | CW 110 | GW 110-100 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 16:06:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88e5ka/im_not_going_to_binge/
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After 2 weeks of binging, Iāve finally been able to get my shit together and restrict for the past 3 days. The only thing keeping me going is that I get to maintain with 1400 in 2 kilos time, and Iām not going to throw all that away.
Tonight, Iām going to my grandparents place for dinner. Theyāre pretty healthy people, nothing cooked in oil and plenty of bland veggies and unseasoned meat (no offence, nana), so Iām not too worried about the actual food, it should probably only be around 300-600cals, which is way more than normal but I can still fit in under my TDEE easily. However, I *am* worried about this triggering a binge, they always have really good bread, and since its so close to easter thereās probably going to be chocolate. Of course I have this all or nothing mentality where eating just one piece could lead to a binge. But its not. Iām going to eat normally. Small portions, chewing slowly, drinking water, one singular piece of chocolate. Iām not going to keep eating when I get home. I can do this. I have to.
[Rant/Rave] I thought I was making decent progress until I went clothes shopping...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 30 15:54:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88e2uf/i_thought_i_was_making_decent_progress_until_i/
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[deleted]
Professional women of ProED, pls wtf do you wear to work???
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 150 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 15:47:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88e169/professional_women_of_proed_pls_wtf_do_you_wear/
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I've been living in grad school fantasy land in a place where everyone dresses like a hippie slob and now suddenly I've got an interview in the Northeast and I'm freaking out and I've literally never worn a "suit" in my life or anything fancier than business casual and my wedding dress...please help :(
Places you like to shop? Pieces you feel comfortable in?
(Me: Apple shaped, loose skin on lower stomach, usually wear things that show off my relatively not-so-fat legs but now that's off the table. Fucking hate pants because of my FUPA but am probably going to have to suck it up and get some anyway. I'm comfortable in dresses but all of the interview wear advice in my field only talks about pants and skirts so I'm guessing dresses are off the table?? [Nordstrom's workwear site is 90% stick-thin Asian models wearing oversized men's clothing](https://shop.nordstrom.com/c/womens-clothing-wear-to-work-shop) and I can't get away with that shit.)
tl;dr I'm almost 30 and I can't dress myself bc of body insecurity
[Discussion] Scared of my prescription..
/u/xxnevi [5'2 | CW: 143 | BMI: 27.1 | GW: 120 | -30 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 15:45:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88e0jd/scared_of_my_prescription/
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Because it's prednisone, a steroid, which causes salt retention (fml) and an increase in appetite.
Couple questions.
What happens if I *don't* take it with food?
Cause the doctor and the pharmacist both kinda stressed that I should take it with food. But I'm not great at following directions.
Has anybody else been on prednisone before? How did it affect your eating habits and weight?
Thanks in advance for any answers or support. Love you guys and girls. ā¤
[Help] How do you deal with work id photos?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 30 15:07:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88dqwg/how_do_you_deal_with_work_id_photos/
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[deleted]
EC stack questions
/u/kitethekite
Created: Fri Mar 30 14:55:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88dnu3/ec_stack_questions/
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I've dealt with bulimia/BED since high school. Recently I've been trying intermittent fasting with pretty good success, but adding in EC (half a bronkaid pill and 100mg caffeine twice per day, but kinda experimenting with times atm) has really helped suppress my appetite. I started with only bronkaid, then added caffeine and that has helped so much with my focus! I also tend to get pretty constipated so this has really helped lol
I have a couple questions, hoping someone can answer!
1. I know it's also common to do an ECA stack, so I'm considering adding asprin. I read this is to be healthier, but I don't understand why and I'm not a science-y person, could anyone explain like I'm five? Also, if there a difference of effect with/without asprin?
2. I was anxious about a work presentation at work earlier and, despite being a generally anxious person, this time I was feeling REALLY anxious. I had just taken my second dosage for the day when the anxiety ramped up. Is this normal?
[Rant/Rave] this is my 30th rant today im soRry
/u/kingarthersixties
Created: Fri Mar 30 14:35:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88dioj/this_is_my_30th_rant_today_im_sorry/
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ok so i thought I was doin ok, but my mom's making cabbage,and she added meat to it, and now I'm afraid to eat it zhsksnsk. The cabbage is like soaking the meat I want to die. This doesn't even make sense I probably ate more calories for breakfast than what the meat adds???? I'm over here afraid to eat this cabbage that has meat in it, but I'll chug down like 520 milkshakes wtffffffffd. I actually hate this why dont i just not eat the meat why i gotta be like this lmao.
But fr why am I uncomfortable with the idea of eating this when I will eat like idk a pancake that probably has twice as many calories??? i dont understand my mind lol
Fuuuuuuuuuck
/u/Theredcheesecake
Created: Fri Mar 30 14:14:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88dcyf/fuuuuuuuuuck/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Stuck in traffic while I had to vomit...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 30 13:59:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88d8y1/stuck_in_traffic_while_i_had_to_vomit/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] One day a week of not counting cals??
/u/Roseemacculate02
Created: Fri Mar 30 13:58:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88d8ir/one_day_a_week_of_not_counting_cals/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why is it impossible to go out with friends and not binge
/u/InterchangeableMoon [Height 5'0" | CW 110 | GW 98 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 13:45:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88d52w/why_is_it_impossible_to_go_out_with_friends_and/
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My depressing + eating disorder just make me want to isolate myself which makes both of them worse. I feel like I canāt go anywhere with my friends or boyfriend without fucking up my restriction. I just want to be alone and suffer and wither away but I get so fucking lonely and it always seems like a good idea to go out somewhere. Then I go there and suddenly Iāve binged like 5,000 calories and I just hate myself.
Every time I let myself go out and have fun, I always do the same thing. I always promise myself next time will be different and Iāll pick reasonable food or skip eating, only have one drink, etc. But itās never true. It makes me just want to stay home and not talk to anyone.
I feel like a monster and I donāt deserve help. Even the people who know I have food issues/body image issues donāt know what to say to me anymore and I think Iāve ruined my relationships with them by even bringing it up. I am so isolated with this. Of course I still have friends, but like.... I canāt talk to anyone about how I feel about my body and how bad food makes me feel when I donāt follow my regimen.
Itās debilitating.
The worst part is that I know how to fix this. I know how to be happy if I let myself. But Iād rather be pretty and tiny than happy. If I delete Instagram and stop weighing myself every morning, then Iāll be a lot happier. But Iāll still have to look at myself in the mirror. Iāll still have to live in this stupid, shitty body.
Maybe everything that I thought would make me happy is just a band aid fix. Ignoring what I wish I was doesnāt actually make me happier.
Idk.
Sorry for rambling. Have been having an anxiety attack all morning and idk how to keep this coherent.
Sabotaging my own recovery
/u/emoghost [Height 5'5" | CW 125 | GW 115]
Created: Fri Mar 30 13:43:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88d4fx/sabotaging_my_own_recovery/
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This was supposed to be it. I finally committed myself to weighing myself once a week. Doing 30 min of cardio and 30 min of lifting a day. Eating 1700 cals and losing weight sustainably.
Day 1, today, I binge. I've been on a really great non binging streak of like 2 weeks. But it's like my ED thought because I'm not weighing myself I must not be capable of gaining weight?
Holy shit. I'm so tired of spending 2 hours on the treadmill. I recommitted myself to recovery because I want to be done with it. I want to be done constantly overexercising, constantly hungry, constantly overeating. I thought I was finally done with it all.
But once again my stomach hurts and I'm going to spend my afternoon looking like an idiot speedwalking on a full incline.
This is hell.
[Help] I want to get help but...
/u/Greeneloaf
Created: Fri Mar 30 13:09:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88cvk9/i_want_to_get_help_but/
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I wanna go to a doctor and tell them my problems with restricting and get help but Iām literally petrified by the thought of being hospitalized...Iām 5ā 5ā 113lbs, whatās the standard procedure when you āget helpā. Is it like instant hospitalization and IV drips and food and tubes and shit? I want to be able to go home and sleep in my bed, I just really cannot get help if Iām going to be held somewhere against my will.
[Rant/Rave] my food fell on the floor and i almost had a tantrum
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 30 12:49:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88cq9h/my_food_fell_on_the_floor_and_i_almost_had_a/
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[deleted]
Good new
/u/Dark_Samus00
Created: Fri Mar 30 12:28:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ckb7/good_new/
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[removed]
[Help] binge
/u/archstella
Created: Fri Mar 30 12:24:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88cjbm/binge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Generalized hospitalization
/u/Idunnoking [5ā1 | CW87.6| GW95 | 16FāØ]
Created: Fri Mar 30 11:37:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88c5vf/generalized_hospitalization/
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Sooo I was trying that whole recovery thing & a recent meeting w my outpatient team went less then ideal, which led the nurse to send a referral to an inpatient service in ANOTHER PROVINCE. That of course made me panic so I essentially went āfuck it. Iāll fully commit to whatever meal plan the dietician providesā. So, 1800 calories in the time being. I was scared but almost excited to have āpermissionā to eat again? So that night I packed everything up as I was going on a school trip. The following day, with the help of my friend, I manage everything on my meal plan & was even going to face the anxieties of eating out on the way home. I felt good, it felt almost doable ? Then, of course, my dad phones n tells me the nurse re-evaluated my tests and decided I wasnāt medically stable and I had to be admitted immediately. Of course they wonāt tell me how long Iāll be here & it isnāt even an actual program for EDs so Iām essentially just stuck in a bed w food shoved at me 6 times a day. Iām just so angry? I was eager to eat again, to enjoy things Iāve deprived myself of and now Iām stuck eating beige ass hospital food. I know that may seem ridiculous to complain about but I feel so gross, like they claim balanced meals and then feed me a slab of cheese and toast for breakfast and mini cupcakes as a snack?? And of course fruit juice and milk w meals š like itās almost like āprofessionalā help has made me want to relapse. I feel so discouraged but have no choice to comply or else Iāll be off even worse. Is it bad that I wanted to be the one in control of my weight restoration? Itās almost like I feel like this is a waste of that struggle, like Atleast if I was in the comfort of my home with food I like, it would make it bearable but here I just want to curl up and cry.
Edit: now that Iāve had my little rant, just want to clarify I am grateful I am receiving help, itās just a little overwhelming right now, also Iām more then open to any suggestions for things to do. Kind of bored of mind haha
What to eat
/u/Dark_Samus00
Created: Fri Mar 30 11:29:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88c3qo/what_to_eat/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Donating Blood Plasma with ED
/u/theliberalpedestrian
Created: Fri Mar 30 11:02:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88bw0z/donating_blood_plasma_with_ed/
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I started donating blood plasma a few months ago as a way to make extra cash. It's proven to be pretty tricky with this fasting cycle. I've been rejected for low blood pressure once and last time I went in it went so much slower than normal. You have to clench and unclench your fist for like an hour and I got tired just from that. You also have to have the correct levels of protein and iron in your blood to donate. I honestly have no idea how I keep passing. I need to go in later today so I've been trying to prep. It's taken me almost 3 hours to eat a banana. That is not a joke. I wish it was. I'm also going to eat some edamame before I go and hope that does the trick. Sorry for the rant, it's just something that I've been stressing a bit about. I don't want to lose that source of income, and I don't want to gain weight trying to keep it.
[Other] guys, I ordered clothes from korean fashion stores and I actually fit in them!!!
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: 158.2 | -36.8]
Created: Fri Mar 30 10:31:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88bn70/guys_i_ordered_clothes_from_korean_fashion_stores/
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so I took a risk and purchased clothing from places like stylenanda, mixxmix, and chuu.. which are really popular among people who like asian streetwear, but they are based in korea, so all the sizes are considerably smaller compared to american sizes. also, most of the clothing only come in ONE size.
I've ordered korean fashion before and they looked terrible on me when I was heavier. I just looked so bad, like a damn sausage busting out of its casing.. so I've been avoiding all that amazing clothing for years. but they arrived today, I tried them all on, and they actually look decent/good on me. I did buy baggier clothing and cardigans just to be safe, but even a year ago, I wouldn't be able to fit into these things. I'm just so happy that I can finally fit into asian sizes and that I can embrace my cute, asian streetwear aesthetic now. I'm planning on purchasing more with my next paycheck. just had to share with someone, thanks
[Goal] guys, I ordered clothing from a popular korean fashion stores and I actually fit in them!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 30 10:27:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88bm2w/guys_i_ordered_clothing_from_a_popular_korean/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] For some reason I'm okay with not being super skinny if I'm following a realistic diet/exercise plan, but when I'm being super disordered my goal weight/size is way lower
/u/chocoooomuffin [5'9" | CW 157 | GW 123 | -30 lbs | 24F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 10:17:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88bjo6/for_some_reason_im_okay_with_not_being_super/
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Like, I'm fine being a size 6 or whatever if I'm working out and eating healthy every day and following a clean eating plan. But when I'm restricting, or bingeing and purging, I have to be tiny and anything bigger than that is unacceptable. IDK why my brain works like this.
[Help] Does it ever end?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 109]
Created: Fri Mar 30 10:15:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88bj3v/does_it_ever_end/
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After months of ārecoveryā (read normal eating with periods of binging) Iāve gained all the weight I lost and I want to lose it again, but the more I think about it the more hopeless and defeated I feel.
Is it even possible long term? My maintenance calories are 1200, so am I doomed to a life of hunger and binging and restricting cycles the rest of my fucking life?
I know now that once youāve been fat, your body will always try to get you to gain it back, by sending hunger signals that inevitably cause you to cave (and if you have developed BED, then binge) until youāve gained it back.
So where do we go from here? Is this even possible? Is being thin long term feasible for me? Iām just so hopeless and depressed at this point I need some hope to keep going.
[Discussion] waking up super early whole restricting?
/u/isaezraa [5'3 | CW 110 | GW 110-100 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 10:05:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88bg9e/waking_up_super_early_whole_restricting/
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whenever i restrict (200-700cals) I wake up at around 5-6am the next morning, which is super useful and nice and i love it, but its 3am rn and i cant get back to sleep
why???Āæ? does anyone else wake up heaps early while restricting?
[Rant/Rave] Is anyone planning on binging on Easter?
/u/shharkie
Created: Fri Mar 30 09:40:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88b95o/is_anyone_planning_on_binging_on_easter/
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I have such conflicting feelings about this- on one hand, Iām thinking of having one big meal with whatever I want, and fasting for the rest of the day on Easter. On the other, Iām scared itāll mess up all my progress, since I had a small binge (at my maintenance level) about three days ago. I donāt know what to do, but I donāt want my family to get suspicious either. AGH.
[Help] SOS I'm sorry to ask but can anyone help guesstimate the calories in the chicken alone?
/u/Deathscua [5'2"| F | GW: 85]
Created: Fri Mar 30 09:19:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88b3n7/sos_im_sorry_to_ask_but_can_anyone_help/
---
https://imgur.com/a/fphCX
[Discussion] What shall i eat today?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 30 09:18:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88b3c6/what_shall_i_eat_today/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88b3c6/what_shall_i_eat_today/
[Help] Everything.
/u/PorkedPork
Created: Fri Mar 30 08:42:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88au6v/everything/
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I've struggled with anorexia b/p subtype since I was 9 or 10, currently 28. I'm also diagnosed borderline personality disorder, clinically depressed, adhd, and an alcoholic. I go by an 800 calorie a day diet, but I'm either totally restricting (usually fasting for a week or two) or b/p. Basically all or nothing.
I have a photo shoot for my job in a few days and I'm considering killing myself because I'm not, and will never be, good enough. I can't talk to anyone around because they just think I'm over analytical or delusional. The few people I've tried to talk to just tell me I'm pretty, which makes me get in my head and think about all the things I hate about myself. I've tried explaining that to them, but typically ends up turning into an argument.
I self harm via burns and it's becoming very noticeable. I'm not really sure how else to cope other than self harm and substances. I am losing my mind currently and really need someone to relate to. Please talk to me.
I had an abortion a week ago which really isn't helping in any way. I need help, like, now. I've been sent inpatient more times than I care to count and have no idea what to do.
[Discussion] DAE have a large frame?
/u/lilialley
Created: Fri Mar 30 08:39:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88atbm/dae_have_a_large_frame/
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I have massive shoulders, a massive ribcage, and a massive collarbone. These bones show better when I lose weight, but it means I'll never be dainty and petite and I'll always look like a linebacker. FML
[Rant/Rave] I love UnderArmour!
/u/fluffyfinaland [5'6"| CW 151.8 | GW 120 | -20.2 | 21F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 08:26:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88aq0g/i_love_underarmour/
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A month or so ago I finally started working on my tattoo sleeve (yay!) and decided to wear one of my boyfriendās long-sleeved UnderArmour shirts to put pressure on it and stop myself from being able to scratch.
Well, bonus, duh, the shirt helps keep everything else tucked in too! I feel like my stomach is even more sucked in when I wear it and itās so comfortable. Wonder if I can find a nonchalant way to wear this year round?
[Rant/Rave] (Rant) Crippling relapse.
/u/beryl8 [5'8 | CW: 123 | BMI: 18.7 | GW: 110]
Created: Fri Mar 30 08:13:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ammu/rant_crippling_relapse/
---
I could go on and on about what led me to this point but I'll keep it short. My parents were abusive assholes and made me aware of my weight early on. I've been stuck in this binge/restriction cycle since I was like 12 and its only gotten worse.
These past few months have been hell. I've been switching between restriction to binge/purging with alcohol. It's ruining my life. I keep skipping class and work, sneaking around and hiding things from my SO, making excuses to self isolate, etc. I've been feeling suicidal as well.
There have been days where I tell myself I'm sick of feeling this way and that I just want to get better. On those days I'll try to eat healthy things like vegetables and fruit but I always end up getting ravenous and binging. This just results in me feeling bad, freaking out bc the scale is up ~5lbs and telling myself I'm not even sick enough and that I need to lose more (stupid ED brain).
Part of me wants to get healthy but the other part wants to get worse. It doesn't make any sense.
[Rant/Rave] Back again with more lunch drama
/u/Rebound_Chick
Created: Fri Mar 30 08:03:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ak4m/back_again_with_more_lunch_drama/
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On mobile, canāt tag. Iād say itās a rant.
So since my coworker told me to take a lunch break I havenāt, but now the comments have started about how I eat too much. What. I eat a 70cal yogurt and a 50 cal rice cake while Iām at work, unless I fall prey to the wonders of 100 calorie chips. So at maximum thatās still only 220cal.
The breaking point for me is when they made fun of me for eating a chocolate croissant for a meeting. The Vice President brought a croissant for everyone and even though they were also eating them they still made fun of me for eating too much.
Iām 5ā4ā, 110 lbs. They think I eat too much? Fine. Iāll eat even less.
friendships are hard with an ED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 30 07:52:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ahbi/friendships_are_hard_with_an_ed/
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https://i.redd.it/7ixbvg1dowo01.png
friendships are not easy with an ED
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 07:51:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88ah37/friendships_are_not_easy_with_an_ed/
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https://i.redd.it/li759m4znwo01.png
[Other] RIP cold weather. you will be missed
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: 158.2 | -36.8]
Created: Fri Mar 30 07:16:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88a8yr/rip_cold_weather_you_will_be_missed/
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now that itās officially warm where I live, people are starting to wear t-shirts and dresses...which means I can no longer hide my fat under enormous sweaters and cardigans. rip winter. warm weather is satan
[Rant/Rave] My friend told me i look pregnant
/u/viluuu
Created: Fri Mar 30 06:59:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88a541/my_friend_told_me_i_look_pregnant/
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So a few days ago in gym class, we were doing the plank. I forgot to tuck my t-shirt in my yoga pants so my stomach was sorta hanging out and i didnt notice it (š) my friend who was next to my loudly said 'lol ur stomach is hanging out it looks like youre pregnant' i felt horrible. After the class i just locked myself in the bathroom and cried and cried, i still feel like shit. I'm just imagining how many other people saw it and thought i was fat. Idk if my friend meant it bad or not but it still hurts.
My bmi is 18. Will I ever have a flat stomach? I guess i'll just keep losing too see but it feels sorta hopeless. I felt better for a little while until this happened. Now i feel like a pig.
A while back when i went shopping with this friend a bought a sweater. My friend told me this other (popular) girl in class had the same one, but probably in a small size. Like??? What's that even supposed to mean. Yes i bought a size medium but why comment on it?? Ughh i know i'm overanalyzing shit but it triggers me.
I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading.
[Rant/Rave] I ordered Pizza Hut
/u/WaitingForHealing [5'5.5" | 271 | 239 | 115 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 06:48:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88a2qj/i_ordered_pizza_hut/
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But I only ate 4 slices and 2 breadsticks. Thatās still a lot but I didnāt force myself to eat the whole thing and I didnāt finish the last piece. I also stayed the same weight. Lol so, progress.
I didnāt beat myself up for eating I was more mad at myself because my goal is to cut junk for 30 days so Iām not addicted anymore. Day 1 today. Lol oh boy.
[Discussion] What kind of jeans do you guys wear?
/u/finnkat
Created: Fri Mar 30 06:45:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88a29s/what_kind_of_jeans_do_you_guys_wear/
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Recently at work, they started allowing people to wear jeans. Everyone was obviously very excited, except me, because my jeans are all skinny and highlight just how flabby my inner thighs are. So I've been wearing my old khakis and slacks using the excuse that "i just spent $50 on new pants that I'll only wear to work so I wanna get my money out of them" but now I'm so dressed up compared to everyone else. I just look like shit in everything I own, I literally hate how people can look at me, it almost feels violating knowing they can see how fat I am and I can't do anything to stop them. Anyways, I guess my question is, what kind of styles of jeans do you guys wear/ where do you buy them?
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! March 30, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 30 06:13:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/889vlz/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_march/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for March 30, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 30, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 30 06:12:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/889vl6/daily_food_diary_march_30_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 30, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Dae here self harm in other ways?
/u/I_Love_Spiders_AMA [5' 7" | CW 137 | GW 110 | -45 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 03:28:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88949c/dae_here_self_harm_in_other_ways/
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Overeating and extreme restriction/starvation is a form of self harm, but do any of you self harm in other ways? I was 9 when I started cutting myself. I saw an episode of degrassi where Ellie cuts herself and a doctor Phil where an older woman still cut herself and in a moment of terrible pain I tried it. I loved it. I still do. I hate that I do. Does anyone else do this? Or something similar?
Motherfuck
/u/PmMeUrKhajiit
Created: Fri Mar 30 02:55:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/888zjn/motherfuck/
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Ive lost 7 kilos (15 pounds) in the last couple months, and aside from my stomach being a little flatter I can't see it at all. I still have this shadow at the bottom of my belly, my arms thighs and face are still looking like goddamn Ursula. I'm still squeezing into the same shirts I was squeezing into before. Are my scales broken? Am I so dysmorphic? I sent two friends some body checks and they were like oml so much thinner! But I can't fuuuuuucking see it. It made me so grumpy I binged today from 1am to 5pm, hotdogs and ragu and ketchup and restaurant food, and then found out my sister in law is making me a t-shirt but it's going to be a size s (6-8, I'm around a 10-12). So now I have instant regretti (I'm calling this day lost and finishing my doggy bags tho) as well as a brand new motivation. Before it was a combo of spite and pettiness, but now I'm being held accountable by my sil's apparel company (she actually is a recovered anorexic, I'm always so jealous of her size). I have an actual deadline to meet, so time to get back into my smexercise š„š„š„š„š„
[Discussion] Exercise habits
/u/eleshel [5 ft | CW 89 | GW 65 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 30 02:03:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/888s3i/exercise_habits/
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What kind of exercise routines do folks out there have, and does anyone have any calorie burning tips that have worked well for you? (including foods to pair with different kinds of fitness activity)...I'm only getting in about an hour a day at the gym because of my schedule, and it's frustrating. I've always been a lousy at restricting, and the last thing I want to do is to back to purging.
[Other] Probably have seen this, but just in case you haven't: It's amazing
/u/Yeamf93
Created: Fri Mar 30 01:11:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/888kln/probably_have_seen_this_but_just_in_case_you/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4jig_HbWjY
[Rant/Rave] Iām pathetic and going to die alone part 2
/u/Thecaretakerjohanna
Created: Fri Mar 30 01:11:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/888kjx/im_pathetic_and_going_to_die_alone_part_2/
---
Last summer I went on a date with some guy from tinder. I had a great time and thought that he did too. And I never heard back from him. Thinking back, he never even touched me, actually, he barely even looked at me. He was super polite, but obviously, he wasnāt attracted to me. That was 20lbs ago.
Yesterday I went on a new date. He couldnāt keep his eyes off me. He held my hands. He was touching my knees constantly. He kept looking at my face. And he took me back to his place and he fucked me. Alright, (even more) TMI details. I felt so small under him, Iām only 5ā3 and heās around 6ā4, he had his hands all over me and I felt like he was going to crush me - but I felt so so safe and so tiny. I felt HOT. He was hard even before I touched him. And that was because of ME.
Ok
Restriction has never been easier, basically what I do now is omad, I have a nice dinner with my family and then go back thinking about that guy lol. (Iām still not good enough for a relationship, but well, what a confidence boost)
TLDR; Iām a slut šāāļø
If you were paid a dollar for every calorie you could consume (and keep down!) In one day, how many calories would you willingly digest? You cant use any of your earnings to pay for weight reduction or cosmetic surgeries.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 30 00:55:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/888i3h/if_you_were_paid_a_dollar_for_every_calorie_you/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/888i3h/if_you_were_paid_a_dollar_for_every_calorie_you/
[Rant/Rave] it's not my birthday
/u/mikamou [5'5 | CW 105 | GW 95]
Created: Fri Mar 30 00:40:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/888fpr/its_not_my_birthday/
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I was at dinner tonight with family I hadn't seen in a while and we were all exchanging gifts. I guess this lead our server to believe it was my birthday and so after feeling good about the big plate of veggies I ate, he comes through with a massive slice of dense chocolate cake that looked like it belonged in that scene from Matilda. I blurt out, "it's not my birthday!" but everyone just goes along with it.
Now they're pressuring me to have some of the cake. I was able to push it around and just eat the blueberries on top but still, how freaking stressful. And idek why the waiter thought it was my birthday as we were ALL exchanging gifts. Now I'm stressing over whether my diet coke was actually diet...
Yeah, it was a weird night. I'm glad it's over and I didn't take a single bite of the chocolate monstrosity. I'm chalking it up to a win.
[Discussion] DAE feel weird about all/most "thinspo" being white women?
/u/BreMarieNirvana
Created: Thu Mar 29 23:44:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8886cd/dae_feel_weird_about_allmost_thinspo_being_white/
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I dunno, maybe I have to look harder. Most of the times I try not to look at all, honestly, but I slip up and look at the thinspo tag on tumblr. Is this weird to feel weird about? Like, I know for a FACT there's beautiful thin people of other genders and races/ethnicities. So.. why don't they ever pop up on my dash? I dunno. I guess it's a weird thing to complain about/notice, lol.
[Rant/Rave] At the point where Iām restricting to cope instead of binging
/u/hollyhock_MMGRZHFM
Created: Thu Mar 29 23:09:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88806r/at_the_point_where_im_restricting_to_cope_instead/
---
But I feel guilty about both. Such a frustrating feeling. I so badly want to lose fat, but I want to be healthy, too. I know what Iām doing isnāt healthy.
My mom and I argued right after I had made myself dinner. I couldnāt eat it. I just left the bowl in the kitchen and went to my room. I know she resents me. I know she thinks Iām a huge inconvenience. She says Iām just ungrateful. I wish I wasnāt doing fucking nooothing. I dropped out of college, I canāt find a steady job, I canāt afford to move out of my parents house. Iāve always felt like a burden. I know thatās how she sees me. At least Iām finally losing weight.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I canāt anymore
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5ā11ā | 140 | | 75| Gender]
Created: Thu Mar 29 22:34:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/887tse/i_feel_like_i_cant_anymore/
---
Iām on an antipsychotic, an acid reducer/blocker, and an ulcer medicine. When taking all 3 together my extreme nausea and diarrhea were somewhat under control most days but my hunger wasnāt and I binged a lot, mostly on fast food
I started only taking the antipsychotic at night and the acid reducer and ulcer medicine in the day but now itās not working at all and I donāt know if even taking the antipsychotic with it tomorrow will fix it. Iāve been nonstop nauseous vomiting and diarrhea the past several days.
Itās hard, so fucking hard to make it through work or do anything at all. I genuinely want to die. My stomach hurts so badly and I have constant headaches and heart palpitations. Iām going to call a new GI doctor tomorrow but Iām scared theyāll brush it off because Iām not underweight enough. Iām so fucking scared of my own body.
For me restricting was all about control and now I have no control. Yeah I am thin but I also feel like I am actually dying. The stomach cramps are so bad and Iām so exhausted. I need another endoscopy and they wonāt wanna do it. I know this might not be the right place to talk about this. I know for me at least ED behaviors were about control but now I feel like I have no control and no hope. Sorry if that sounds dramatic I know of course it could be worse, it always could be. I donāt even know what my current weight is and I donāt even care. Iām at the maximum dose of both nexium and Carafate and I took the max dose of zofran today and still threw up incessantly. Sorry if this is the wrong thing to post about here. Iām just scared and I want to be healthy really bad , restricting is one thing but this is terrifying
[Discussion] Trigger Foods
/u/bleepbloop920
Created: Thu Mar 29 22:23:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/887rpn/trigger_foods/
---
I innocently bought a box cake and ice cream to make for my family but then i realized that combination is the perfect recipe for a binge/purge. I havenāt purged in so long but i am just looking forward to it even tho i shouldnāt be :(
Anyone else have a strong trigger food?
[Rant/Rave] WHY AM I SO FAT HEIENSJDJ
/u/kingarthersixties
Created: Thu Mar 29 22:10:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/887p7q/why_am_i_so_fat_heiensjdj/
---
because i keep eating lol!!!! I'm just in a shit hole and I just hate myself and my body and I keep binging. I miss when my parents were taking note of my weight loss. I want to be 112 again shoot me lol. I'm like 122 but Ill probably be 126 next week!!! :) its fine whatever :-) I always told myself I'd never let myself get super fat and overweight but here i am........eating 20 spoonfuls of nutella......for whatever reason!!!!!!! i hate this!!!!!!!!
just a late rant sry
edit: Also, I think I know part of why I binge? I've noticed whenever we have something unhealthy in our kitchen, I feel obligated to eat it. idk why. I don't need to crave it, but if it's there i NEED to eat it. idk if this has anything to do with binging but i feel like there might be a correlation. does anyone relate to that?
[Help] Advice ?
/u/strangegurl44
Created: Thu Mar 29 21:50:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/887l8p/advice/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Feeling guilty, easier to restrict around my boyfriend...
/u/DustyKangaroo [5'2 | CW 135 | GW 100]
Created: Thu Mar 29 21:34:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/887i4e/feeling_guilty_easier_to_restrict_around_my/
---
I had a thought earlier today that made me feel like a shitty person lol
So my boyfriend opened up to me about his ED, and doesn't know that it sort of (MAJORLY) triggered a relapse for me. When I'm home alone, I can keep myself going on a tightly restricted streak for a short while before I binge on something, just through mindless snacking or inhaling chocolate someone left around. But when he's with me, that sort of BS stops entirely.
He's on a pretty strict (self-imposed) food schedule, since he's sort-of trying to recover, and we never eat the same meals because of it. I'm hesitant to eat around him, outside of his schedule, because I don't want it to accidentally push him into a binge-cycle again (he confessed that this has happened in the past). But more than that, I feel like I can get away with not eating around him *because of that*, and he won't think its weird.
So I feel almost like I'm using him - I enjoy spending time with him, but now there's also that happiness in the back of my mind that says "oh good, now I don't have to worry about accidentally eating for the rest of the night" whenever we have plans, and that feels manipulative and weird.
I should enjoy spending time with him for normal reasons, not also because I can use him as an enabling crutch for my restriction (but I also like that I can) so now I'm guilty and conflicted and I'm sorry this was such a rambling shitty thing lol
[Tip] My own on-the-go kid thanks to EllaSuaveterre for the idea!
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 21:28:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/887gtr/my_own_onthego_kid_thanks_to_ellasuaveterre_for/
---
https://imgur.com/U3Dqjpn
[Rant/Rave] I can't eat and enjoy a hot meal anymore.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 29 20:49:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8878j2/i_cant_eat_and_enjoy_a_hot_meal_anymore/
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Sorry guys I just need to rant. I recently went back to a place that I loved when I was a kid and it was wonderful, except the people there were giving us hot food and I couldn't eat it without purging. I went out the bathroom and my friend thought I'd been crying because my eyes were red. I skipped lunch and had coffee instead once because I had a brownie. I fucking hate this disease. It's ruined my life. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.
[Rant/Rave] "You'll feel better if you eat."
/u/edthrowaway2018 [5'9" | CW: 198 | GW: 140 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 20:27:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8873sq/youll_feel_better_if_you_eat/
---
Said to me by my fiance last night. Oh you sweet summer child.
I've been fasting a ton, 3-5 consecutive days and having awesome results. I'm down 20lbs overall, 15 of which I lost this past month. He finally noticed I haven't been eating and tries to drop this on me. Adorable and he means well, but it honestly made me laugh because of course eating will only make me feel like trash.
I did the "just not hungry" thing and watched him eat dinner instead, without touching any of it. THAT made me feel better. Y'all are the only ones who will get this.
[Discussion] DAE feel nauseous after eating?
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 130 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 20 F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 20:21:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8872j8/dae_feel_nauseous_after_eating/
---
Since I started restricting pretty heavily again whenever I eat like a normal person (God that sounds fucked up lol) I get nauseous afterwards. I never get sick though.
[Rant/Rave] Fellow drunkarexics...
/u/slip_n_slice
Created: Thu Mar 29 20:15:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88710n/fellow_drunkarexics/
---
Have you ever had like really weird blackouts? I've had a really bad week so I said "hey let's drink a little extra" and drank extra, about 800 calories in alcohol, and I was pretty sure I went straight to bed. But I was talking to my housemate when I woke up (one shoe was wet inside?) And he said I had been asleep in my car, then came inside and mumbled to the dog, that I looked like a "Fucking zombie", and then I went to bed.
I've never been known to do shitty stuff when I'm blacked out, but I'm just so scared about what happened and how clueless I was to the situation. Fucking scary honestly.
[Rant/Rave] Validating doctor's visit
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'7 | CW:112 | 17.5 | GW: 108| HW: 136|F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 20:00:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/886xnv/validating_doctors_visit/
---
Ya'll I went to the doctor's today and wow.
No one's ever really noticed my weight loss outside of occasional comments from my Mom and my boyfriend, so I was honestly really yearning for some response from somebody. At least a bit.
And my doctor sure did do it for me today.
When she saw how much weight I lost she lecutred me for a good amount of time about being underweight and seemed genuinely confused and concerned. she was like "Your BMI last time you were here was 20 so I really don't understand why you would want to do this, that was a perfectly healthy great weight before."
And then when she was about to do my breast exam she had to go through all the doctor gown fabric and she was like "Oh my god, this thing just swallows you."
When she was doing the ovary touching thing as part of the pelvic exam she was like "You are so tiny I can feel right through you."
Then finally when she was about to draw my blood she seemed so scared I was going to faint for no good reason, because that's never been an issue for me. She kept offering me peanut crackers and juice, which I don't know if that's a standard routine thing, but she's never offered me these things before when she's drawn my blood, and this time she was insistent on it.
It made me feel so good, like man I'm finally getting somewhere with this. I know I've lost weight, but it doesn't feel real until someone acknowledges it.
[Discussion] Anyone else freaking out a little over the MFP data breach?
/u/yssjfs [SW:160|LW:112|CW:130.8|GW:ā ]
Created: Thu Mar 29 19:12:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/886n36/anyone_else_freaking_out_a_little_over_the_mfp/
---
Honestly more concerned people will see how fucked up my food habits are than break into my other accounts!!!! Uggg people were joking about it in the /r/loseit thread, but I'm legitimately having a panic attack here :(...
[Tip] Peeps & Dum Dums!
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 107.8 | -30.2 | F | G: 95]
Created: Thu Mar 29 19:12:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/886mxo/peeps_dum_dums/
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4 bunnies are 110 calories and I can't binge on them - too much marshmallows make me sick :)
1 dum dum is 25 calories and I can't binge on them - they take too long to eat :)
[Help] hi kids i want 2 die, overate a little bit
/u/sh8thead
Created: Thu Mar 29 19:06:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/886lil/hi_kids_i_want_2_die_overate_a_little_bit/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Holy FUCK I am livid right now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 29 18:57:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/886jho/holy_fuck_i_am_livid_right_now/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Reasons working in a supermarket is *the best*
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 109 | GW2: 105 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Thu Mar 29 18:54:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/886iy4/reasons_working_in_a_supermarket_is_the_best/
---
1. Have to stand up for the *entire* shift, no matter what task you're completing
2. My shifts are after college until 11pm, no night snacking!!
3. Free workout when doing stock, lots of walking and lifting non stop for sometimes hours
3. Get to check out all the cool new 0cal drinks and low cal vegan lunch things
4. Get to check out all the amazingly high cal junk food and fantasise about binging without actually having to eat it
5. Weird satisfaction from seeing people's food shops
6. Too tired to eat after the shift
7. Pay is decent
8. Short break and no catering = easy to stick to planned food from home
9. So many distractions
10. Junk food is starting to lose its allure
Never thought being around food all day would motivate me so much, anyone else relate?
[Other] another person smaller than me
/u/illendmylife [cw: go away | f]
Created: Thu Mar 29 18:19:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/886api/another_person_smaller_than_me/
---
i open up to someone online about my ed and they immediately let me know their weight and they are A LOT thinner than me. i instantly started crying and i know i am awful. i wish i can be dead soon. my therapist said i'm too thin but i'm not at all. it cause me so many issues. i'm not even good at losing weight. i'm not good at anything in my life and i want nothing more than to be dead. i hate everything about myself. i am worthless. i can't do anything right. i am not going to tell anyone my weight anymore. i'm way too much. please be dead soon
[Intro] [INTRO] Hi everyone!
/u/314kee207 [5'4 | CW: 175 GW: 98 | BMI :30 | 30F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 18:19:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/886am3/intro_hi_everyone/
---
Hi! I figured I'd introduce myself since I'm new to this community. My name is Joelle (well that's really my fake internet name but still), I'm 30 and female. In my younger years I would restrict and exercise too much. As I got older I started to binge. For a while I'd binge then restrict but I soon started bingeing and purging and got an official diagnosis of bulimia. Unfortunately now I seem to just binge and don't do anything about it. Last year I got down to 142 by sticking to a strict 1200 cal diet. But shit happened, meds got changed and I ballooned back up to around 180. But this is all changing now. No more bingeing. If I happen to break that rule I will work it off at the gym. I'm determined to get down under 100 hopefully within the next year. I do have a peach account that I'll be using to record progress and fails. Feel free to follow me (Joelle87). Anyway, that's me. Hi again and thanks for having this community.
[Discussion] Nobody eats on tv
/u/pinkerapples
Created: Thu Mar 29 17:43:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8861qr/nobody_eats_on_tv/
---
I get it, I know they wouldn't write in time for characters to eat. But sometimes when I see their crazy awesome bodies, and all the energy they use up avoiding explosions or whatever, I'm just assume they are all starving but are so superhuman that hunger never ever enters the dialogue.
I know it's so fucking nutso, but and so obviously unrealistic, but I wish that food wasn't a- Well, if I were watching a show about MY life, you definitely can't write out the food part.
[Intro] Thought I looked slim in the mirror this morning then I weighed myself...
/u/RainbowBunnyKitten [5'3" | GW 100 | CW 150 | -10lb | F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 17:32:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/885z1i/thought_i_looked_slim_in_the_mirror_this_morning/
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Hey everyone, I'm a long time first time so I thought I'd make my first post. I hope I'm not alone at getting disappointed at the scales, I've managed to force myself to only weigh myself once a week but it's so frustrating when I think I look like I've lost a fair bit in a week then I weigh myself and there's barely a shift in the scale at all. It makes me think my eyes are playing tricks on me. Then again I'm pretty sure I have BD so that would be a given. Does anyone else experience this?
[Rant/Rave] Today's pizza binge broke my binge cycle.
/u/RedditRanOutOfNamess [5'9 | CW 234.0 | GW 120 | HW 278 | 21 F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 17:18:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/885vw5/todays_pizza_binge_broke_my_binge_cycle/
---
So today's binge was some Domino's pizza. Half my order was missing and the person working the front just shrugged it off and told me to have a good day. So I go home and I start eating it. It's not even good. (The little bread twist things that came with the coupon are just soaked in grease. It's pretty gross.) And then it clicked. What a fucking waste of money this is. I'm going to start keeping track of how much money every binge costs. I love my job, but what's the point of working if I blow my paycheck on binge food every week?
[Bonus pic of this grease covered box](https://imgur.com/a/jmv7g)
[Discussion] Any older people here?
/u/Aszuna1974
Created: Thu Mar 29 17:17:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/885vj3/any_older_people_here/
---
I'm 43. I like this sub but it would be nice to connect with the 30 and up crowd.
[Rant/Rave] I've never told anyone this.
/u/Gerard_the_Bunny
Created: Thu Mar 29 17:11:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/885u39/ive_never_told_anyone_this/
---
I've got a medical condition that makes my esophagus abnormally narrow, and so when I was younger it would make me throw up if I took too big of a bite or didn't chew enough. And it makes me furious because I got it fixed and still have to do things today to fix it because it's painful, but no matter what I've tried, I've never been able to make myself throw up and that ironic bullshit just makes me so mad.
[Rant/Rave] Iām really sick of this disease.
/u/raindropslikebullets
Created: Thu Mar 29 16:44:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/885nim/im_really_sick_of_this_disease/
---
Just purged in a gross gas station bathroom using a plastic spoon I had in my car. (Iāve never really been a fingers person, always toothbrush.. or apparently plastic spoons.)
And just frustrated with it all. Like wtf?!
I start with an empty stomach and Iām all āman, Iām really craving Easter candy, I should go get a shitload and eat it allā
Binge happens. Heart races until I can find a bathroom. Then this feeling washes over me as I heave a few times and finally get āthe big oneā. I canāt be alone in this.. that one heave where so much comes out and you just think: āfuck, finallyā. (I think I actually said that allowed in the stall.)
And then Iām empty again and candy is the furthest thing from my mind. WHY?!
Why canāt I just be empty, and stay empty and happy. Why does the b/p even have to occur?! That is all. Just over it. Iām too old for this shit.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I will never be happy with myself.
/u/alyssarach [5'9| CW: Disgusting | GW: 100 lbs | -41 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 16:39:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/885m4a/i_feel_like_i_will_never_be_happy_with_myself/
---
I gained 125 lbs in my pregnancy and grief when my daughter passed away. In the last 2 months, I have gone back to restricting and excercising constantly and lost 40 lbs.
When I look at the scale going down, I feel a second of happiness and accomplishment and then immediately feel horrible about myself. Everytime I want to be happy, my brain reminds myself that I'm still fat and no where near where I used to be.
I feel like I will never be happy with myself and it gets emotionally draining. I get anxiety thinking of people seeing me how I am now. I refuse to see people or go out because of my weight and when people do see me and tell me that I look like I lost a lot of weight, I feel upset because I don't see a difference in the mirror, only the scale.
At work I'm the tiny one who can fit into small spaces.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 29 16:32:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/885kjz/at_work_im_the_tiny_one_who_can_fit_into_small/
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[deleted]
[Other] MFP leaked 150mm Usernames/Emails/Passwords - change your pw if you used the same one in multiple places!
/u/TreatmentTime [5'9 | 142 | 20.9 | -21 | 24]
Created: Thu Mar 29 16:28:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/885jl9/mfp_leaked_150mm_usernamesemailspasswords_change/
---
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-under-armour-databreach/under-armour-discloses-breach-of-150-million-myfitnesspal-user-accounts-idUSKBN1H532W
[Rant/Rave] Messed up
/u/Dark_Samus00
Created: Thu Mar 29 16:07:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/885e18/messed_up/
---
I went to this market to buy some unsweetened bottles of tea(oolong, green, barley, etc.) I stupidly paid 5.99 for a big bottle of barley tea but stupid me forgot to check the nutritional facts. It was sweetened. I don't know why but I feel so bad. I hate it. I can't return it so that kind of sucks. I know I'm overreacting but it still bothers me.
[Other] MFP data breach: 150 million usernames and e-mail address compromised.
/u/mental7gloss [185cm | 78kg | M]
Created: Thu Mar 29 16:04:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/885dec/mfp_data_breach_150_million_usernames_and_email/
---
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/03/29/under-armour-stock-falls-after-company-admits-data-breach.html
[Discussion] DAE absolutely not drink calories?
/u/gothicapples
Created: Thu Mar 29 15:46:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8858l5/dae_absolutely_not_drink_calories/
---
I never drink my calories
I want all my calories to make me not hungry for as long as possible
Do you drink your calories
PSA: MFP just announced a 150mm user email/password/username breach. Change your passwords!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 29 15:36:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88564f/psa_mfp_just_announced_a_150mm_user/
---
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-under-armour-databreach/under-armour-discloses-breach-of-150-million-myfitnesspal-user-accounts-idUSKBN1H532W
[Rant/Rave] Just updating ya'll on wisdom tooth surgery AKA first day "back on track"
/u/2fckk
Created: Thu Mar 29 15:18:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8851cz/just_updating_yall_on_wisdom_tooth_surgery_aka/
---
lol, what a life.
I made a post last night about my 2 month binge nightmare finally coming to a forced ending due to oral surgery.
So far today I had three applesauces and a fuck ton of water and some narcotics. Can't wait to wake up after a few days of this feeling slim with virtually no "post-binge-phase" cravings and a head start.
That is all. Oh, and surgery went smooth as fuck.
[Discussion] an easter weekend support thread
/u/spaghetti_girl [5'3" | CW: 111 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 15:02:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/884x0n/an_easter_weekend_support_thread/
---
im not sure about everyone else, but i always go home easter weekend to visit my family and we have this huge meal that basically continues all throughout the day. of course ive got some serious ANXIETY about either binging on ham and dinner rolls like theres no tomorrow or being far too obvious about not grazing like the rest of my family. also i probably should bring a side dish or dessert to be polite but i dont even know how to handle making food without snacking away on half of it!
is anyone else in this same situation? do yall plan to get through this weekend alive?
basically this is a thread for us keep each other updated on the successes or humiliations of this weekend so at least were not alone in chocolate covered misery this weekend
[Rant/Rave] My husband is going away on deployment for 6 months... And I'm glad
/u/cbunni666
Created: Thu Mar 29 14:36:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/884pmn/my_husband_is_going_away_on_deployment_for_6/
---
I feel like a total B*tch for saying or thinking it but I am. I've done nothing but gained weight since he got back from his last deployment 4 years ago. I've tried to eat healthy but some days I don't feel like cooking. He'll cook some days but when we both go tired, a pizza is ordered. Or take out, fast food. Some days I'm in the mood for a burger than a salad. He made it easier to get my "crack". Chocolate here, ice cream there. Never saying " no". Its like I have no control when he's home. Or I'll eat something healthy, he'll come home with fast food like its nothing. Its like "get out so I can get a full night's sleep. Or get our so I don't get tempted and you'll go out and get it." 6 months. Hopefully I'll do a better job and no one will knock me off track. Plus side, I have no friends here so no temptations from them either.
[Help] Welbutrin?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 29 14:06:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/884gv0/welbutrin/
---
[deleted]
[Goal] I'm 101 today.
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 104.4 | 19.8 | GW: 93 | -16| F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 14:05:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/884gqc/im_101_today/
---
My calculations that I would be 101 in three weeks were utterly, happily wrong. I'm 101 today. I'm underweight, by the measure of BMI my therapist uses. 98 is underweight by the measure we use here at ProED. I ain't gonna lie, guys, I stepped off the scale, on the scale, off the scale, on the scale... and then I bawled like a child. I'm so happy. I won't update my flair yet, just in case it's a temporary fluctuation. Tomorrow. Or maybe next week. I want to be sure.
My goal weight is close. Closer than I ever thought I'd be to it. Trouble is, I don't know quite what that number is anymore. I've had several ideas in the past about where I want to be. 100. 98. 95. 92. 89. 89 seems impossible still... but so did 101, a month ago.
What should I choose? I've gotta pick one. I've gotta pick when I will stop hiding. When I will wear a bikini out to the lake where everyone can see me. When I'll stop hiding weights on my person. When I will wear... *crop tops*. When I will begin the transition from mid-restriction to maintenance. When I will eat a cookie and not feel bad because 1100 calories a day has MORE than enough room for three cauliflower bowls and a cookie. When I will eat THREE cauliflower bowls in the same 24 hours and not feel horrible... at least not emotionally. Physically I might. Ugh, fullness. Makes me nauseous.
I've gotta pick one. I can see the finish line. Holy shit, I've done this so much faster than I ever thought I could.
[Other] Question about being inpatient and suicide attempts
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 29 13:54:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/884dfa/question_about_being_inpatient_and_suicide/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Can you tell me about your experiences with psychotherapy?
/u/portrayalofdeath
Created: Thu Mar 29 13:43:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/884aa5/can_you_tell_me_about_your_experiences_with/
---
I still haven't seen a therapist, and I think I honestly can't beat this on my own. I've tried a bunch of different stuff, read a couple of books (including Brain Over Binge), but I just keep failing and failing. So how were your experiences? I'm thinking of seeing someone that does CBT.
Oh, and I have bulimia, where I purge with exercise and restriction (but I binge so much that I constantly exercise a lot and restrict; I've burned myself out on exercising and restricting even harder on days after a binge).
[Help] Im upsetting everyine cause im always grumpy
/u/dortuh [5'8" | 113.5lb | BMI 17.3 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 13:39:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88495a/im_upsetting_everyine_cause_im_always_grumpy/
---
I think I'm unknowingly hangry... Does anyone else just make everyone around them sad cause you're always pissed off? I'm only fun to be around when I'm drunk. What can I do about this?
[Help] iām afraid i will binge tomorrow
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 29 13:38:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8848zg/im_afraid_i_will_binge_tomorrow/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Cheap clothes online?
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7 | 120.4 | 118.79 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Thu Mar 29 13:34:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8847um/cheap_clothes_online/
---
Anyone have some suggestions for cheap (preferably masculine) clothes online? Especially stores that have small sizes. I have sized out of my clothes so rapidly that I have no clothes that fit anymore and can't afford to go shopping. Amazon isn't the greatest for what I'm looking for, I think. I don't really have thrift shops near me either so that's why I say online.
[Rant/Rave] Stop forcing me to eat
/u/limelightwithyou [5'2 | 93.4 | 17.1 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 13:02:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/883ypg/stop_forcing_me_to_eat/
---
Is anyone else also excited about getting away from people you *have* to eat with?
I'm currently in college and for the most part, I have my own routine and I can live my life not eating or eating very little, minus around 3-4 times a week with friends (but that's easy to work around because I can just skip other meals).
However, I'm in a long distance relationship, so when I visit my bf a few weekends a month, I'm basically forced to eat (he's not very understanding about skipping, he'll only want to go to places with fat, high calorie foods) and I also can't control myself when I'm at the restaurants. I just straight up binge. PLUS going back home on breaks, I can't get out of eating with my family as well. Right now I'm on spring break and it's been such a terrible week (eating 500+ calories over my TDEE everyday) and all I want to do is cry :(
Is it fucked up that I want to go back to my normal routine and restrict? STOP FORCING ME TO EAT.
[Rant/Rave] watermelon is the most amazing thing is the world
/u/isaezraa [5'3 | CW 110 | GW 110-100 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 12:54:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/883w9h/watermelon_is_the_most_amazing_thing_is_the_world/
---
i just had an entire quarter of watermelon for breakfast (570g without the green) and it was only 139 calories!!!!! what the fuck!!!! i feel so full and its so sweet and refreshing and i got lucky and managed to buy one with none of the grossly textured parts, and i just want to say ty watermelon for blessing the world with ur presence. i appreciate
also, unrelated, but i binged for the past 2 weeks but I managed to snap out of it, I gained 3kg but iāve been losing a kilo a day? wtf? iām assuming its not actual fat, but what is it then?
sorry for this weirdass post lol idk where my heads as
[Rant/Rave] Excited to get away from people
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 29 12:51:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/883vd2/excited_to_get_away_from_people/
---
[deleted]
Vet a therapist?
/u/RootBeerSoup
Created: Thu Mar 29 12:17:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/883la8/vet_a_therapist/
---
I'm about to find a therapist. I was planning on calling them, but I don't know what to ask other than "Are you accepting new patients?"
What are some questions I should ask to make sure I don't end up in a bad situation?
Forgot about flair, on phone. [Discussion or question]
[Rant/Rave] I Donated Blood Today!
/u/fatyoyo [32F | 5ā2ā | CW 158 lbs | GW 105 lbs |]
Created: Thu Mar 29 12:01:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/883g2g/i_donated_blood_today/
---
And my iron levels were great which is AWESOME because Iāve been turned away from donating in the past due to low iron anemia! I was pretty nervous about trying again.
Also, āDonāt skip any meals and if you drink alcohol refrain from doing so for 24 hoursā. Lol yeah ok š
[Rant/Rave] Sabotaging food and being a wasteful POS
/u/heyheypicklejay [5'1 | cw 98 | gw 90 | bmi 19.32 | 20F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 12:00:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/883flp/sabotaging_food_and_being_a_wasteful_pos/
---
Yesterday during the midst of a ravanous binge session, I had to force myself to take the rest of these two slices of pizza that I was close to eating and shove them into a nearby cup that which I then doused in fucking hairspray in order to keep myself from finishing it. It literally took all my stength to do that.
If I can conjure up the strength to sabotage a binge like that, why can't I conjure up the strength to NOT begin a binge in the first place?! At least if I could do that much, I wouldnt be wasting so much food that other ppl couldv'e actually eaten by having to ruin it in the end. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] DAE hate clothing shopping?
/u/r0separade
Created: Thu Mar 29 11:27:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88362i/dae_hate_clothing_shopping/
---
I really donāt like to shop for clothes. I donāt look right in anything I try on, and end up getting nothing and feeling depressed. Itās like, whatās the point in even trying to dress stylish if I have a weirdly proportioned body?
[Rant/Rave] Miscalculated calories by 300, literally FML.
/u/innocentkitty [5'1.5 | CW: 94 | 17.9 | GW: 92]
Created: Thu Mar 29 11:17:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/88333f/miscalculated_calories_by_300_literally_fml/
---
I didn't have a food scale until today so i'd been going off of what myfitnesspal said was 160 calories for a cup of krave (cereal) thinking everything was ok. I've eaten a cup of krave with milk every morning for the past 5 months.
So i just went to test out my new scale, placed my cup measure on top and began pouring the cereal. Red lights started going off instantly in my head, as i pour 3 pieces in for a 4g reading. I decide to pour in the cereal until it reaches 30g which is supposedly 1 bowl/serving for 135 calories. I shit you not, there were max 20 individual tiny pieces of cereal in that cup and it barely reached the smallest third full. What the hell kind of serving size is that? So i keep pouring to 40g which is what i thought i've been eating/counting as about 180 calories. Barely half the cup full. So I think fuck it, and just fill the cup until it's full which is what i've been eating every day as recommended by myfitnesspal as a 160 cal serving. Fucking 90 grams. Over 400 calories of cereal.
I've been struggling so hard to have "800 calorie days" recently, and because of this my life is about to get so much more miserable. If you don't have a scale already... just don't.
[Rant/Rave] I hate non-uniform days at school.
/u/bluemonksdream
Created: Thu Mar 29 11:03:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/882z3b/i_hate_nonuniform_days_at_school/
---
It's part of the reason I didn't go to school today. Even though I feel like my school uniform makes me look fatter than I actually am, I hate wearing my own clothes to school. It triggers my ed even more and I'll eat very little a week before so that I don't feel fat and others don't look at me and think I'm fat. I hate the feeling I get the day before when I'm trying to put together an outfit to wear, frantically searching through my closet but nothing looks right. its either too tight around my arms or my stomach or makes my hip dips visible or makes my fat poke out when I sit down. nothing ever looks fucking good enough on me. then the day will come and I want to cry and I don't want to go to school. how I'll want to wear the same pair of jeans that I have broken into and the same top but, I can't always wear the same thing. what will people think of me if I do? so I'll eventually convince myself to put something on and go to school and just hope that if I pull my coat tight enough around me I'll feel better and no one will look at me. then I'll meet my friends and they'll tell me I look nice but its not enough t o get rid of my anxiety and the voice in my head telling me I look ugly and that I should have eaten less. then I'll go into class and woo hoo for me my teacher tells the class we have to take off out coats so ill reluctantly peel it off myself. feeling uncomfortable I'll hug myself around my stomach so no one can see what I look like. the girl on the table over who doesn't like me will start laughing hysterically and even if it isn't directed at me it still makes me feel anxious and want to cry. after school is over I'll be enveloped into a comforting blanket that are my friends for the next few hours before its time to go home. when I get home I'll cry and tell myself to eat less next time so I don't look as ugly.
Does Prozac work??
/u/Dark_Samus00
Created: Thu Mar 29 10:42:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/882sj5/does_prozac_work/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Visiting college friends tonight! Tips?
/u/17iveyal
Created: Thu Mar 29 10:25:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/882na3/visiting_college_friends_tonight_tips/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] How does your period effect your ED?
/u/Lillie1990 [5ā4 | CW 131.6 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 10:11:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/882ivc/how_does_your_period_effect_your_ed/
---
I literally could NOT stop eating yesterday and was so intensely irritable and pissed. I didnāt self harm but totally wanted to and was just so restless and felt like I was losing my mind. This happens like every month and then I realize oh: Iām about to start my period. Every single month that I make that realization I am always as shocked as the month before! Hahaha. I just wish it wouldnāt put me in a damn binge cycle every single month!
UK people. Halo top Ā£3.50 a pint at Tesco. THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"|SW:252|CW:221| -31| GW:112| HW:294|27F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 10:03:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/882gce/uk_people_halo_top_350_a_pint_at_tesco_this_is/
---
https://imgur.com/qE99xEO
[Discussion] smoking and restriction
/u/joufflue
Created: Thu Mar 29 09:59:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/882fe4/smoking_and_restriction/
---
to the people here who smoke weed: do you smoke when youre restricting? or do you just kick it completely. if you don't get munchies, did you train yourself out of it or did it just never happen to you?
for me, i have to go completely cold turkey with it because if i get a little high i am a food vacuum. did an edible and ate 3500 calories in 4 hours, to the point of unintentionally purging because my body is like wtf man and i get sick.just giving it up completely until im 120.
[Help] thinking about opting out of partial
/u/swanstav [5'3 | 91lbs |BMI:16 | GW:85 |]
Created: Thu Mar 29 09:36:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8828mc/thinking_about_opting_out_of_partial/
---
I started a partial program and am not ready for it at all but havenāt given it much time. I miss free time and eating foods that I feel comfortable with. I donāt know if quitting is a bad idea, or if itās what I need to do at this point in my life.
The therapist there is extremely not helpful. Nobody there will agree that I should quit, obviously. I just feel like i amount to nothing because I am so unmotivated by the end of the day. I dread going in so much but also feel like I am letting everybody down and that if I quit, itās very possible I will spiral out of control again.
I donāt feel like anybody will tell me to quit treatment, but I really donāt want to or think I can stay with the way things are going.
[Rant/Rave] just a lil rant about porn
/u/liskovaa [21 | F | 5'4" | -40lbs. | š babycat]
Created: Thu Mar 29 09:29:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8826te/just_a_lil_rant_about_porn/
---
nsfw i guess. iāve been obsessing about this forever and still canāt really articulate it, but fuck i am so bothered that my hook up buddy likes bbw porn!! like he showed me a clip of a girl who is... maybe my weight? maybe bigger? lol idk body dysmorphia. and i donāt know why but it made me feel so horrible. like i donāt know why i would feel better with them watching regular porn because tbh that makes me feel insecure as well, but i feel like itās worse this because i donāt understand how that can be attractive, which makes me sound like a horrible person and hypocrite i know :( like i almost feel like itās all a joke. i know people have different preferences and chances are this guy is actually really attracted to me, but i am so fucking fat how is that possible?? ughh. sorry for the rant that made no sense but thanks for listening.
[Other] MEN OF PROED: New sub just for us!
/u/bipolarspacecop [M/21]
Created: Thu Mar 29 09:15:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8822x7/men_of_proed_new_sub_just_for_us/
---
Link: r/EDmen / [EDmen](https://www.reddit.com/r/EDmen/)
Feel free to post there if you prefer. Maybe we can make a community of our own. Both cisgender and transgender men are allowed to join/post. I'd prefer women not join because I want this to be a community for JUST guys. Sorry, I hope the rest of you understand. If it dies, it dies. But it'll still be there if anyone wants it.
If you would like a more trans-centric ED community, message u/woollyshirt to gain access to r/transproED. The sub is basically dead so your contribution is appreciated.
[Help] Being Honest w/ My Psychiatrist Today
/u/supemery
Created: Thu Mar 29 09:04:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/881zhf/being_honest_w_my_psychiatrist_today/
---
I'm probably going to regret this, but today I have an appointment with my psychiatrist and I'm planning on being honest about my restriction, purging, ec stacking, and my self injury. I don't know if I'm ready for recovery, but I do want to be on the right medications and so I want to be honest about where I'm struggling. Has anyone else been honest with their healthcare providers? Do you feel like you've been penalized or they are supportive?
UPDATE: I told him everything and he was just like "it seems like you're unhappy with your weight. You need the ephedrine because you aren't sleeping enough. I think you have sleep apnea. Let's do a sleep study" :|
[Rant/Rave] Food betrayal
/u/handzies
Created: Thu Mar 29 08:54:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/881wme/food_betrayal/
---
I woke up this morning feeling very hungry after three restrictive days, I decided to treat myself to some breakfast. I grabbed a Breakfast sandwich from a popular grocery store, I go back to eat in my car content with my treat. I'm a few bites in, I check the calories printed in the sticker.
MISTAKE.
THIS
FRICKING
SANDWICH
IS
6 8 0 CALORIES
Bitch that's my whole day.
I regret everything, I'm upset. I didn't finish it, I'm just blown the heck away. I was looking forward to a stress free treat, I was wrong. I feel betrayed.
Is this post dramatic? Yea. Did I just let a sandwich ruin my whole day? Yeah. It's 11 where I am and I have had 700 calories. I'm freaking out.
Whats y'all betrayal food? Share with me so I dont make this mistake again.
[Rant/Rave] I just want a piece of fucking cake!!
/u/KitteeChaos
Created: Thu Mar 29 08:40:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/881sda/i_just_want_a_piece_of_fucking_cake/
---
Today we are celebrating my middle child's 4th birthday, and I made this delicious looking cake at work for him. I want a piece. But I'm not allowed. But I know I won't be able to resist. But it's my son's birthday and I should allow myself one piece. But then I'm gonna want more later and will end up shoveling leftover cake into my fat face later tonight when everyone is in bed. But I better not do that shit because I'm finally under 140. And omg why can't I just have one god damn piece piece of cake at the party and move on with my life like a normal human being why do I have to obsess over a fucking cake.
Adrian's cake https://imgur.com/a/FTr0y
[Discussion] What's your sex life like?
/u/Douchebagette
Created: Thu Mar 29 08:31:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/881pwx/whats_your_sex_life_like/
---
Mine all messed up to hell, I'm curious if anyone is dealing with Similar issues? Sorry if this isn't completely on the vein of ED topics but I know there is a lot of overlap for me
[Other] Oh.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 29 08:22:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/881nhb/oh/
---
https://i.redd.it/b9f340f5ppo01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Eating in class
/u/daintydaisydoll [5'1.5 / CW:95 / BMI: 18.37 / GW: 84]
Created: Thu Mar 29 08:14:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/881l46/eating_in_class/
---
[removed]
[Goal] Goal weight 100lbs
/u/allieberns28
Created: Thu Mar 29 07:58:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/881go7/goal_weight_100lbs/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] I'm not very good at self control most of the time anyways but I find it especially difficult to not accept food from others!
/u/Piikiita
Created: Thu Mar 29 06:11:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/880qzp/im_not_very_good_at_self_control_most_of_the_time/
---
I can restrict myself from eating as long as I'm not around people eating or offering me food. I find it for some reason incredibly difficult to say no to people offering me food especially when they keep insisting after I already said no. Anyone else experience this?
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support March 29, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 29 06:11:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/880qwy/weekly_emotional_support_march_29_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 29, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 29 06:10:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/880qnr/daily_food_diary_march_29_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 29, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] EC Stacking (nausea?)
/u/bromodatchi [5'1" | 96 lbs | 18.9 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 29 06:09:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/880qii/ec_stacking_nausea/
---
Not really a question, more of other people's experience with EC stacks & if they've possibly experienced nausea while EC stacking?
I've been doing EC stacks for quite a bit of time, and I've noticed that lately I'll get really gag-y and nausea after smoking. Just recently I puked in my own lap on the highway (which was unexpected).
Just wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences or if my body just hates me so much now that it rejects anything I put into it. (Could have been related to anxiety, but I'm doubting it due to the pattern).
Iām gonna do it.
/u/poetsandscientists
Created: Thu Mar 29 05:54:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/880nce/im_gonna_do_it/
---
[removed]
Very subtle advertisement from Instagram..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 29 05:33:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/880jag/very_subtle_advertisement_from_instagram/
---
https://i.redd.it/k0a0ai1uuoo01.png
[Discussion] People who have gotten a feeding tube:
/u/Greeneloaf
Created: Thu Mar 29 05:19:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/880gmf/people_who_have_gotten_a_feeding_tube/
---
Can you tell me what your experience was with it? What weight you were, how long you had it, what weight you were when you had it removed, how it felt having it etc.?
[Other] Something you all might find interesting: most lost fat is removed through breathing
/u/nymphetamines_ [5'8" | too fat | non-binary]
Created: Thu Mar 29 04:06:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8802qe/something_you_all_might_find_interesting_most/
---
(Link to the [study](https://www.bmj.com/content/349/bmj.g7257) published in British Medical Journal, for those interested)
I know a lot of us are neurotic about our bowel movements, peeing (and even things like spit, snot, and dead skin) and how they factor into our weight or weight loss.
Something I found unintuitive but very interesting was that the overwhelming majority of fat, or waste from lost fat, isn't excreted through stool. It's broken down and the extra carbon is breathed out! And the other 16% *still* isn't pooped out, it becomes water and is peed out or used elsewhere in the body. It's amazing to me that we can breathe out entire kilograms of CO2.
I don't know if this will make you feel worse or better or nothing at all, but I thought it was neat and figured I'd share.
[Rant/Rave] Why canāt people just mind their own business?
/u/deadlylikesugar
Created: Thu Mar 29 04:03:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8802ay/why_cant_people_just_mind_their_own_business/
---
Everyone important in my life has noticed my weight and is beginning to take up concern. Youād think Iād be happy, right? The ultimately validating time that most of us dream of and envision as the ultimate motivator. Now Iām here and feeling stupid for wishing so much for it because. It. Fucking. Sucks.
I imagined that maybe I would reach a point where I would be showered with compliments, and then eventually reach a point of concern and thatās how I would āknowā it would be time to stop restricting. But I never received the compliments. All of a sudden Iām being bombarded with judgements, concerns, and accusations. Iām put in a situation where I have to lie through my teeth to defend myself and it makes me feel shitty and scared. Scared that Iāll be caught.
I literally am not even *that* thin you guys. Not nearly thin enough to cause concern yet. I want to lose more, but now itās going to have to come at the cost of intense anxiety and even more isolation. Iām honestly just so annoyed and frustrated. So what if Iāve lost some weight? So what if Iām a little thinner than I used to be? Why canāt everyone just keep their thoughts to themselves and leave me be? Iām 24 years old FFS. Iām fully an adult. I just want to restrict and lose in peace; away from judgements - anxiety and guilt free.
I just feel especially irritated because, why is my weight anyone elseās damn business in the first place??? When I had gained weight a few years back, they would whisper about it and make carefully constructed digs at me. Now that Iāve lost, something that is conventionally a good thing, Iām *still* getting negativity thrown my way. Itās not fucking fair.
I wish they would just say something nice or not say anything at all.
[Help] Forced to eat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 29 03:58:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8801ct/forced_to_eat/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] just another peach thread
/u/illsleep
Created: Thu Mar 29 01:35:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87zeiq/just_another_peach_thread/
---
i figured its been like what two weeks since the last peach thread on here? hereās another one, add me: illsleep
[Rant/Rave] Relapsing
/u/yungbrrrat [5'8 | 140lb | BMI: 21 ]
Created: Thu Mar 29 00:32:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87z3vh/relapsing/
---
Well I'm back in my relapse cycle. I go through different cycles relative to my ED - usually it's a month of restricting and weight loss, two months of binging and weight gain, a month of "healthy" eating and exercise and then I fall back again
I've been eating normally recently, not counting calories and snacking and eating junk food as well as some normal meals. I'm just getting conscious again that I'm 140lbs and I'd be so much prettier if I lost like 20lbs. I'm tall, and tall skinny girls are so beautiful I want to be like them
myfitnesspal will honestly be my downfall lol
[Help] I just fucking want someone to tell me what I look like.
/u/miracleunicat [5'6 | CW: 109 | GW: 65]
Created: Wed Mar 28 23:42:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87yv4y/i_just_fucking_want_someone_to_tell_me_what_i/
---
[removed]
I'm still fat !
/u/123_snowflake
Created: Wed Mar 28 22:38:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87yjbk/im_still_fat/
---
[removed]
[Help] Please, help a confusing recovery?
/u/hellsabandonment
Created: Wed Mar 28 22:24:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ygk5/please_help_a_confusing_recovery/
---
Hi, sorry to bother anyone but I'm really struggling with part of my rehabilitation. I had bulimia for years but for the past 6 months, after hospitalization and meds and some storybook level sidekick support I've stopped purging and I've graduated therapy and I'm doing better! I exercise even if I hate my body, I eat the right foods in the right amounts and I'm getting more okay with doing that! but every week My binge eating spikes during stress or when I feel like things are going too well or I need to be grounded. I feel like I can't go to sleep or feel calm at the end of the day, when there's no more people or adventure unless I eat and then eat excessively bc some part of my cortex is screaming "BINGE is GOOD. food makes people happy and you won't be happy unless you eat something because you're NOT ENOUGH. but if you indulge that's bad and you have to binge or else you're just a failure? Because if you're gonna self destruct you can't half ass it?"
I know it's illogical but it's killing me, and making getting better seem impossible. I'm sorry. Any help would be appreciated (besides heading back to therapy, not an option rn)
[Rant/Rave] Bothered by a small, probably well-meaning comment.
/u/vlad-poutine [5'7" | CW 113 | BMI 17.7 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 28 22:03:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87yccl/bothered_by_a_small_probably_wellmeaning_comment/
---
I'm super new here, so I apologize in advance for any rule-breaking behavior. I have always expressed a preoccupation with restricting my diet. I am "underweight", but not extremely so, which, to be honest, irritates me. I can never get skinnier nor happier for very long. Anyway, today one of my friends was talking to me about our respective eating habits - she's not super tiny - and she said, "honestly, you don't even look super skinny. You look average." And that hurt. All my hard work. I don't even look skinny. When she said average, it sounded like "fat" to me. I've been struggling with my image for so long and to be told that I look "average" and "not skinny" was horrifying. So I cried for a while. Maybe I should develop a spine. Or maybe she is right. I always thought I looked thin enough, but I guess I don't. Please tell me someone else has experienced this. And if you have, what did you do to calm yourself down? How can this anxiety be avoided? Is thinness subjective? (I always thought it was the opposite.) I'm sorry if this might sound repetitive, I haven't been here long so I don't know if millions of other people also have posted about this.
[Rant/Rave] Losing my grip on control, spiraling into weight gain, aaaaand ihatemyselfihatemyselfihatemyself
/u/rocksnowls
Created: Wed Mar 28 21:15:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87y2cs/losing_my_grip_on_control_spiraling_into_weight/
---
The scale may not have moved but the flab on my arms has. I'm jiggly as hell. Shall i go over the bad habits i partook in these past few weeks ?
ā¢eating candy
ā¢chewing an entire small bag of gumballs where each piece was ~30 calories
ā¢eating ~1900 calories worth of frosted animal crackers in one sitting, 3 days in a row (and twice was at work, which eating at work is a big no-no for me)
ā¢not stopping once i start eating breakfast (eat some rice cakes, then oatmeal or green beans, move onto a tub of cool whip, scarf down the ice cream, next comes some slices of cheese...)
ā¢skipping the gym
I hate myself ihatemyselfihatemyself. *I hate my body*. *I HATE MYSELF*. I hate my habits and lack of discipline. My willpower is nonexistent lately. I'm just not losing weight and haven't been able to for quite a significant amount of time. I haven't been able to be strong long enough to see/feel results.
I fear i'll never be able to lose weight. I'm ashamed of myself every time i see or feel a jiggle. I agonize with pure envy any time i'm not the skinniest person any given immediate area
I'm desperate to burn fat off myself (particularly my arms). What are some helpful, effective, healthy affordable ways to go about that? What keeps your willpower goin strong enough to reroute
two people said my face is looking fat today
/u/RemarkablePin
Created: Wed Mar 28 21:03:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87xzw8/two_people_said_my_face_is_looking_fat_today/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What are you proud of?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 25F]
Created: Wed Mar 28 20:55:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87xy35/what_are_you_proud_of/
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So this is a nice lil discussion about what you're proud of, be it ED related or not.
Mine are:
- I'm proud that I'm currently on day 32 of PIIT.
- I'm proud that I don't find it hard to complete the workouts in the allotted time due to lack of fitness (I'm lazy af though)
- I'm proud that I have been handling 'rough' patches with maturity at the moment.
- I'm proud that I haven't binged in...5 days. I can already feel a hardness developing in my body. My arms are tighter, my chest and shoulder bones are more visible...my legs will get that gap back soon!
- I'm proud that I've not weighed myself in over 30 days. I'm going by how my clothes fit and measurements. The scale triggers me into a binge.
What are you proud of?
[Goal] Tonight at midnight ends this two month binge nightmare.
/u/2fckk
Created: Wed Mar 28 20:44:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87xvj4/tonight_at_midnight_ends_this_two_month_binge/
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Well, I'm "recovering" which actually just turned into out of control bingeing. I wanna lose weight again now. I was 119 before I started recovering officially and now I'm 123. Not a big deal at all. I'm not even panicking about the number at all, the number is so so so shockingly low. It's how I FEEL. I know you all can relate. I miss the goals, I miss eating clean (it feels so good for so many reasons other than weightloss), I miss the sport of it, idk. I feel aimless and sloppy and sad and pathetic and out of control just eating whatever I want, whenever I want. Idk, I guess I do have more energy and more personality now. I guess I do have better focus. But at the price of being uncomfortable and mildly sad all the time. Idk, it's confusing and upsetting.
POINT IS, I'm having all 4 wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow. Since I knew this oral surgery was coming up, I been eating whatever the fuck junkfood bullshit I want for like 8 weeks with no physical activity. This past week hasn't even been fun or delicious. It's been a nightmare. I'm over the junkfood, I'm sluggish and I feel greasy all the time idk.
Tomorrow at 9am I get the surgery. So I'll basically be starting a forced liquid-fast. That's gonna kick off my new start, my fresh start. My goals, my summer body. I will NEVER starve myself again (i.e. - I plan to eat 1900-2000 cal a day because I'll be lifting weights again too) but it'll be back to my clean, veggie, lean-protein filled meals. I'd love to starve myself - I MISS THAT HIGH -but alot of my hair rapidly fell out and some other health complications scared the ever living fuck out of me. I also don't want prematurely wrinkly skin or dull eyes, etc. from nutritional deficiencies. And i work with highly aggressive teens with autism so I can't be energy-compromised at work.
sooooooooooooooooooo yeah, new starts and shit ya know, cheers. so dramatically nervous for this surgery but also relieved that it's a chance to turn this binge nightmare around.
Edit:spelling
[Rant/Rave] I've had a really bad couple of days
/u/manateens [5'4 20F | 145 / UGW 98 | BMI27]
Created: Wed Mar 28 20:42:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87xv58/ive_had_a_really_bad_couple_of_days/
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Fuck. I went to a wedding on Saturday that was really nice. I came home and sobered up, and my SO got McDonald's. I ate all of it.
I woke up Sunday with a 102 fever. Period started up again. I went to a movie and ate a brownie sundae and a soft pretzel. And I think I had more after, but I don't remember.
Monday the fever was no better. Period was worse. We ordered pizza and ate candy.
Yesterday the fever began to break. I laid in bed all day as I felt an ovarian cyst rupture. I continued eating candy. I asked my SO to bring me warm comforting food when he got off work. He brought wings and fried shit. I cried and ate nothing. I sliced my stomach in the bath and bled through my shirt.
Today I woke up and ate a bunch of fucking gummy worms. The cyst is still bleeding. My SO is trying to get a second job now. All because I'm a piece of shit that can't just get up and go to work. I can't just eat like a normal person. I can't just feel hunger cues and not binge. I can no longer shit without either laxatives or overeating to just push it all out. I can't sleep without nyquil or weed. I can't function without caffeine. My SO is getting so tired of taking care of me even though he says he's not. I know him too well, I can tell. I'm making his life so much worse. He didn't sign on for this. When we met, and up until this winter, I was functional. I woke up and had energy and was the main breadwinner. And then I relapsed. And now I either binge and have no energy or I fast and have no energy. I'm easily confused and constantly dizzy and always cold. And I barely have anything to show for it because this disgusting binge/fast cycle means I've barely lost 15 pounds in 3 months. And yeah for someone much smaller that's great, but I started out fucking obese and it should be coming off faster, but I just go weeks without fucking eating and then I binge it all back until I'm so bloated (since yanno I can't shit anymore) that my stretch marks start splitting open and bleeding right alongside my self harm slashes
I hate this. I hate this person I've become. I hate myself for letting this happen. And the more I hate myself the harder this goes and I become even less functional. Fuck anyone who thinks eating disorders can be solved by "just eating" fuck everyone who thinks mentally ill people aren't acutely aware of how fucked up they are and FUCK EATING DISORDERS for ruining my body, my life, my relationship and all of my friendships
I have an awful headache and I'm permanently dehydrated. I'm on my fourth liter of water today and have had electrolyte supplements in between and my mouth is still. fucking. dry.
[Intro] New here
/u/ragamuffin_77
Created: Wed Mar 28 20:28:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87xs42/new_here/
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Hi
I feel like Iām the only person in my situation (although rationally I know at probably not)
Iām old - 43. Far too old I think to be dealing with this. Iāve struggled with either restricting or purging - not binging - just purging most of what I ate on bad days.
I have gained so much weight while being in a bad marriage, suffering PTSD as well as depression, anxiety and BPD
Recently I joined a clinic for weight loss. I have a dietician, fitness coordinator and overall health coach. As soon as I started my thoughts of throwing up and restricting went overboard.
I feel like such a failure. Today I ate three meals (one normal and two small) and I purged after each one.
No question really, just wanted to share
[Rant/Rave] I'm free.
/u/plantbasedpumpkin
Created: Wed Mar 28 20:17:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87xpr9/im_free/
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Hey guys. It's been a long time since I was active here. My last post was "Goal Weight #1 is so close I can taste it." And it got 147 upvotes. Shortly after that, I was committed into a residential facility against my will by my parents and treatment team. I was devastated, and I fought back. And I refused treatment. And eventually I caved. And I started to allow myself to change, bit by bit. I'm not a vegan anymore. It was the first thing they made me let go, much to my dismay. Guess my username doesn't make as much sense anymore. Anyways, I didn't want to get better at all. I gave up lots and lots of more months of weight loss. But I accepted treatment and I'm doing okay. Due to my excessive weight loss (about 100 pounds in around 4-5 months) I ended up with gallstones, which infected my liver. I had to have my gallbladder removed. And I'm only 16. I'm not telling anybody to get better. Or to seek treatment. Because I've been where you are, and I know most of you do not want to, and aren't going to yet. and that's okay. When/If you do decide to change, and do the most kind thing for yourself in the world - I hope that you succeed. And I hope someday you can look back and regret it all. I hope someday you can eat cupcakes without fear, and go on a run just for the sake of getting outdoors. It's a process. And it's a choice I have to make every single day. Some days I don't make the right choice. And theres no certainty that I wont go back to my old ways someday. but for now - I get to enjoy life. And I hope some of you on here are considering making that next step as well.
Thank you all so much for the support I recieved while I was active on this subreddit.
[Other] @everyone on this tag š
/u/Ellerussellhere
Created: Wed Mar 28 20:01:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87xlue/everyone_on_this_tag/
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[removed]
My friends are threatening to tell about me!!1!
/u/Ellerussellhere
Created: Wed Mar 28 19:52:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87xjwm/my_friends_are_threatening_to_tell_about_me1/
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[removed]
what music do you like to listen to when you're sad?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 28 19:42:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87xhjv/what_music_do_you_like_to_listen_to_when_youre_sad/
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[deleted]
[Help] Does anyone have snack suggestions that make you feel very "stable"? I'm feeling dizzy and light headed all the time.
/u/claireupvotes [5'8" | 118 lbs | BMI 17.9 | 23F]
Created: Wed Mar 28 19:05:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87x92a/does_anyone_have_snack_suggestions_that_make_you/
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I used to have horrible anorexia (~14 BMI) when I was in high school, and although I've recovered for the most part, I do somewhat slip back into old habbits. This subreddit was extremely comforting during times of need and I need some help now for a very different reason but I think this community might have some suggestions!
I learned a month ago that I have very serious GI issues that are going to require surgery that I've scheduled for the summer. Eating (and bowel movements lol) causes me lots of pain now, and consequently I've been eating less and less to avoid this pain. I've lost a *ton* of weight and I feel like I've forgotten how to function while having an ED. Restricting used to give me a feeling of control, but now I feel weak and exhausted. I don't actively restrict or set calorie/weight goals and haven't for several years now... and, on top of that, I decided to commit to being a vegetarian a little over a month ago!
In the past, my go-to for feeling "stable" when eating at a calorie deficiency was meat. Meat had a lot of protein and I was always on a ketogenic diet. Now that I'm not eating meat, I find myself feeling dizzy constantly. Yesterday I fainted in a parking garage, and I really need some suggestions. I made an appointment with my campus dietitian but it's still more than a week away, and I'd really like to feel... not dizzy (but not even necessarily full because that triggers the GI pain) in the meantime.
Any suggestions would be great! Thank you!
[Help] Anyone here tried lipodrene?
/u/bashytr0n [5'2" | 45kg/99lbs | 18.95 | GW 43/95lbs]
Created: Wed Mar 28 19:04:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87x8ve/anyone_here_tried_lipodrene/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] dysfunctional human
/u/gogobingegadget
Created: Wed Mar 28 19:02:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87x89p/dysfunctional_human/
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A bit off-topic, but I just wanted to vent about being crap at life in general.
For example, I turned in some dvds the other day, and had to pay $60 in fees on them because they were a month late
Ive been unemployed for nearly 3 weeks and dont feel like doing anything other than laying in bed on my laptop and eating at this point.
My dishes pile up until the guilt of potentially bothering my roommate forces me to wash them
All of my plants are dead
Im hemorrhaging money at the moment on things like binge food, and restriction grocery trips (you know, the "alright! im going to turn things around finally and get out of this binge cycle just gotta go buy all new food")
And to top it all off, today I was supposed to have my first day at a new somewhat-mediocre job, but I binged massively a few hours beforehand and had to call in and reschedule because I made myself ill. I feel like shit constantly because of all the food I stuff into my sorry body. All I think about is food. All that brings me joy is food, but lately its been making me feel very, very sad.
[Discussion] I'm so messed up, how do I be normal for my bf?
/u/Suchsmolsuchwow
Created: Wed Mar 28 18:55:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87x6t2/im_so_messed_up_how_do_i_be_normal_for_my_bf/
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My bf and I are both working to lose weight. He knows I've got issues. I log everything into mfp and he checks it daily, rules are minimum 1000 max 1400ish. But I've found with the minimum he lets it slide if I justify it. Like I binged yesterday so he's letting it slide at 850. But he's trying to be happy and tell me how great his day is going - after dinner he's only at 500 calories, and plans to hit 1000 by drinking. And he sent me his step tracker and it just got me so upset. I work on my feet, I'm always moving, it's an extremely physical job and I do workout regularly. It just makes me feel so inadequate. I don't know how to be normal around him ugh. Thanks for just letting me vent.
[Rant/Rave] Iām so mad at myself over 80 calories
/u/gothicapples
Created: Wed Mar 28 18:35:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87x230/im_so_mad_at_myself_over_80_calories/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Last week I decided to stop restricting on tiny portions of junk food and opt for fruits and vegetables instead, and it's forcing me to confront my dependence on food for comfort.
/u/FromMyIvoryTower [5'2 | CW: 95 | BMI: 17 | GW: 70 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 28 18:20:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87wyiq/last_week_i_decided_to_stop_restricting_on_tiny/
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I was operating with a constant headache and my mental clarity was so compromised that I had no choice but to alter my diet. My calorie limit hasn't changed, but the volume and nutrient density of my meals has tripled. Sure, it's nice to be able to piece together a coherent sentence again, but it's a pyrrhic victory. Without the cycle of debilitating hunger and brief food-induced happiness, I'm completely fucking empty. I look forward to nothing. I could go back to my old diet, but it wouldn't take the edge off the realization that the only thing that makes my life worth living is shoving a slice of pizza down my face at the end of the day.
[Discussion] DAE get really anxious when they see other people eat high calorie foods?
/u/laurenmini2 [5'4 | CW 129 | BMI 22.14 | GW 105 | 19F]
Created: Wed Mar 28 18:03:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87wu8d/dae_get_really_anxious_when_they_see_other_people/
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For example, I'm fasting today so I was out driving around to distract myself and I drove by a Dairy Queen. Outside I saw someone eating a blizzard and a meal and I started to have a panic attack because I was just imagining eating it. And knowing how many calories are in all that, I freaked out.
[Rant/Rave] dae's ED kind of thrive on lack of male attention
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 28 17:56:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87wslt/daes_ed_kind_of_thrive_on_lack_of_male_attention/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Smoking /only/ to manage those extreme cravings?
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 109 | GW2: 105 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Wed Mar 28 17:30:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87wm2y/smoking_only_to_manage_those_extreme_cravings/
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I know this a controversial topic but I would genuinely appreciate any honest and helpful feedback.
Occasionally I smoke, only really when I'm especially stressed or drinking with friends, yes I know it's a very bad habit and I fully do not intend to make it part of my daily life, I don't have the money for starters.
I see it as an indulgence not a vice for me personally (although I'm not naĆÆve to think it couldn't be more that if I let it), I buy not even a pack a month, I'd consider myself a 'social smoker' and if I don't have cigrattes on hand I do not tend to even think about them.
I do however, find binge urges extremely distressing to the point it's effecting my wellbeing that I would be willing to make the sacrifice of being affected by more intentionally occasionally smoking, what I've recently noticed is that when I'm feeling these intense almost panic inducing feelings, a loss of control, extreme cravings and anxiety, smoking a cigarette will help. I have done this only three times in total and each time it prevented me BPing.
Again, I do not intend to smoke more than I already do, not do I care to give it up completly. Just occasional, spaced out times. to keep that massive anxiety at bay. It's not a *good* idea I know but purging daily is far worse for me than smoking for stress release a couple of times a week or even month, and at the moment I need to put my mental well-being first.
**I would like to stress that I am not talking about smoking as a means of ignoring hunger but managing the more intense urges to binge and purge which I have done for years now.**
Has anyone had any experience with this? Again, I'm aware of the consequences of cigrattes however I feel my current method of *dealing* with these urges is both far more distressing and detrimental to my health in the long run. I'd really like to hear anyone's experiences with this.
[Other] Iām tired.
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5ā11ā | 140 | | 75| Gender]
Created: Wed Mar 28 17:24:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87wkre/im_tired/
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I posted before here talking about my physical health issues as well as mental, and today it just hit me really hard...I woke up and went to the gym and met with my personal trainer and nutritionist for the first time. I was really excited to start eating healthy and strength training, and I went for a walk and it was nice outside and I saw a bunch of flowers and I thought I was doing well.
And then...like what happens every night, happened. I started to feel a bit sick and had uncontrollable diarrhea and vomiting. Iāve seen 2 GI doctors and Iām on 2 meds for it but nothing has worked. I was so excited earlier because since my hysterectomy, that area of pain has been completely gone and I was excited to start working out again and eating healthy...but then I was reminded that Iām not. Iām not healthy. Iām going to call a different doctor tomorrow and maybe theyāll give a shit and maybe theyāll help, but Iām scared they wonāt, again. I hate this...restricting is one thing but the relentless nausea...itās absolutely horrible. Iād rather be in pain. Some days I can throw up everything and thereās nothing left but acid but I just dry heave and dry heave and canāt stop. And then Iām dismissed or told well at least itās gotten better but there are still days where I canāt eat anything, there are still days where I can only eat breakfast, there are still days where Iām shitting 8+ times and then for 4 days I canāt at all...I feel like I have to be emaciated for them to care. I have actually considered starving myself not because of the ED but simply because I need medical care and they donāt view it as serious even when Iām underweight. I know itās super easy to say āwell find another doctorā and I will trust me, but itās also fucking terrifying to be living inside of my body right now and to feel like no one wants/cares enough to help me. To feel so out of control. Itās been over a year of this. But because I can keep some things down some days, and Iām not at deathās door, it doesnāt seem important enough. How low will my weight have to go for them to take notice? 130? 120? 110? But Iām scared of the damage that will do to my body...I genuinely want to be healthy which is why Iām trying, why Iāve had an endoscopy and colonoscopy and tried 2 acid blockers and am now on an ulcer medicine. Itās just...nothingās working.
[Other] Anyone who does EC stack I have a quick question!
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Wed Mar 28 15:40:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87vtyn/anyone_who_does_ec_stack_i_have_a_quick_question/
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So I live in the states and just started doing EC stack a little over a week ago and I LOVE what it does to suppress my appetite.
I know there is usually a formula to follow but my life is way to hectic. I have been using two Bronkaid tablets a day, sometimes the whole tablet (twice a day) other times splitting them in half throughout the day. Pretty much as needed and it works like a charm. I will do tolerance breaks as well.
So the question. How often can you purchase Bronkaid?
I do have mild asthma so I don't feel that suspicious and it has also helped me with that. The packaging seems to say about 4 pills a day is okay and I am going to take two. Would it be considered appropriate to purchase more when it runs out? I just know they put my license down for obvious reasons, but that seems like an okay time period? I am just a crazy person and want someone to validate yes or no lololol.
Thanks guys!
[Discussion] Thoughts on fruit š Iām scared to eat it
/u/dreamedotcom
Created: Wed Mar 28 15:39:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87vtst/thoughts_on_fruit_im_scared_to_eat_it/
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Hi everyone. So I use to think fruit was a āfree foodā, not very calorie dense as you know. Over the past year, Iāve tried different diets, Atkins, now Keto, and fruit is restricted because of the sugar in it.
Iām now deathly afraid to eat fruit... maybe a couple grapes now and then or a few blueberries...
Do you all eat fruit? What are your thoughts about the sugar content?
Also afraid to eat carrots, tomatoes, cheese
[Rant/Rave] I was almost free
/u/RockinWeasel
Created: Wed Mar 28 15:30:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87vr5p/i_was_almost_free/
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So, for the last few months I had been going through recovery. My hair had been falling out and I was just so weak that I gave up and started eating again. But I went vegan to basically keep restricting...
...and then last week I read that ~200 calories a day is the difference between a healthy weight and being overweight. I have never felt so horrified. I was reminded every single calorie counts. Every one. And now I cannot stop counting. I cannot stop doing 23 hour fasts (I have to have dinner) and eating once per day so my bf doesn't think I am weird. I am back... and it feels good. Here we go again.
[Help] Weigh less but still look the same/fat?
/u/lekkerkaas
Created: Wed Mar 28 15:16:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87vng9/weigh_less_but_still_look_the_samefat/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I am so sad today
/u/ayybih
Created: Wed Mar 28 14:44:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87vefp/i_am_so_sad_today/
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Kinda ED related.
Been talking to a guy whoās super cool and he seemed super into me and know itās like his vibe completely switched. I can feel a ghosting coming on and I just wanna dieeeeee. Normally it took a little will power to restrict, and now I just feel like, fuck it. A few chunks of honeydew is 100% enough food. Maybe if I wasnāt so fat he wouldnāt ghost me. Or maybe if I was even mildly interesting heād like me. But heās young. I have a kid. Heās probably not ready for that. I canāt just hang out whenever. Thereās like 1000 reasons not to like me. I canāt think of one reason why someone should like me. I donāt even deserve to eat. Why. Whatās the point. But also Iām on my period so maybe none of this is real? I legit just wanna curl up on my fucking couch for the next ten years.
[Rant/Rave] Cliched "I'm going out to eat but I don't want to eat because I hate myself" post
/u/Douchebagette
Created: Wed Mar 28 14:29:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87va06/cliched_im_going_out_to_eat_but_i_dont_want_to/
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I've been having one of those crap days. I've taken my ephedrine but still feel sluggish and dead. Like my body's sitting 3 feet away from me and I don't want it or to be any part of it. It's my day off and I accidentally slept in so whats even the point.
Depression aside my girlfriends parents are being kind enough to take us to some comedy show and for dinner. I would much rather stay at home and maybe find something to cheer me up but I appreciate the effort.
I'm obsessing over this stupid restaurant.
1) it's a bar and I don't want to drink because beer is too tasty and I love it and I hate myself
2) bar food, I've been there before and it's just bad. I don't want to eat food that doesn't taste good, what's even the point.
3) I can't not eat because frankly her family are all huge and the concept of skipping a meal is insane to them even if they believed I ate before or something.
4) if I do order a salad or something small equal freak out and more comments about how I eat. Yay
5) they spell avocado wrong in their menu.
6) it's before and event and it's across the street so the place is going to be packed and loud and we probably won't even get a table which I don't care about, but I know is just going to get them so frustrated and angry and they'll be all flustered and I hate that.
7) the art on the walls is awful. It's hotel art. I hate hotel art
8) my girlfriend is angry at them for not giving us a ride even though I said I would drive and they don't have room in their car.
9) her family all love hugs. I hate hugs.
10) they are uncomfortably nice. Like to the point where it's undeserved and uncomfortable. Like if they brush your arm it's 10 minutes of apologies and it's so frustrating but you can't say anything.
11) they brought us back "gifts" from their trip. Again super nice of them to think of us but I don't like presents and it'll either be junk food from the US which y'all get. Or stupid things I don't need or want or would just take up space. I just wish they would save their money on things they want not things I didn't ask for or need and have to pretend to love which I suck at.
In short I'm a whinny asshole and I wish I could just be normal and enjoy normal things.
[Other] i feel so much prettier on an empty stomach
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 28 13:45:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87uwyn/i_feel_so_much_prettier_on_an_empty_stomach/
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[deleted]
[Other] found another great british tv show on obesity
/u/honeydewlittle [5'7" | CW: 124,8lb]
Created: Wed Mar 28 13:31:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87usxm/found_another_great_british_tv_show_on_obesity/
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So I know Iām not the only one who loves those kind of shows, like Supersize vs Superskinny and My 600lb Life...
I watch them all the time, for motivation, to keep myself from binging and just to generally keep myself on track when restricting.
I just found a new show that focuses more on the medical side (effects) of obesity and I frickin love it! Itās called DOCS: Weight Loss Ward and is available on YouTube.
Hope youāll be able to enjoy it as much as Iām doing right now.
[Rant/Rave] I don't really even know what's wrong with me
/u/Kiickme123
Created: Wed Mar 28 12:52:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87uhv4/i_dont_really_even_know_whats_wrong_with_me/
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Really I know I have an ED but have no damn clue what it is. Basically I eat so so much for a week like binging and then all of a sudden it hits me what I've done and I think " oh shit I have to starve now.". So I do for like a week and then I realize I can't starve forever so I do it all again. It's so shitty. Even when I try my hardest to eat normally I can't. Not to mention I'm the heaviest in my house but everyone around me calls themselves fat while eating healthily and working out like normal people. Idk if I make any sense because I'm just in a piss mood and ranting, but yeah. That's how things are atm.
[Rant/Rave] New foods to try?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 28 12:50:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87uh3x/new_foods_to_try/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Food at work is going to be the death of me.
/u/vucio72 [5'1 | cw: 139 | gw1: 120 | -14 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 28 12:12:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87u5dh/food_at_work_is_going_to_be_the_death_of_me/
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I used to be thin, back in high school. It wasn't even a thing, it took no effort, I was just tiny and I ran track. I got to college and ballooned from 105lbs up to 153 (probably higher but I stopped weighing myself for a year), stopped running, and now I'm covered in stretch marks on my huge, jiggly thighs, butt, and love handles and I hate it.
So this year I decided to get my life back on track, since I'm taking time off to work before I apply to medical school because what med school would accept a fat slob like me? I've been working so hard and my friends, family, and boyfriend are all so supportive; they think it's funny or cute when I weigh my food out on my mom's old food scale. But at work, I can't escape the food. Huge buffets every Wednesday, $20 for lunch on Mondays that everyone at work brags about using to its fullest extent and getting the most food. I've been trying to stay under 1200 cals, and my goal on MFP is really set to 900, just so that I have a more serious goal and some wiggle room for when I occasionally fail. I had so carefully planned out what I could eat, since I read the Monday newsletter. I could have a small bit of rice pudding, some tandoori chicken, some dum aloo kashmiri, and some shrimp vindaloo. I caved and had a piece of naan too. I fit it all on one plate, all with what I thought were small, reasonable portions, and did my best to estimate it, but then when I logged it afterwards, it came out to 700 cals!
I'm just... I don't know. This weekend is my birthday and Easter and I was doing so well and being so good all week and now I'm crushed and don't know what to do and am just overwhelmed and last weekend I gained a pound and just got back down to 139 again and I didn't really think I had an eating disorder because I still give myself room to eat "normally" on weekends but I just feel so incredibly anxious about all of this. I'm probably not going to eat a usual dinner - I know I can make it through the rest of the day, eat 100 cals and go to sleep, but I'm just so frustrated with myself and I want to fit in my old clothes and wear crop tops and I hate this and I can't tell any of my support structure how absolutely awful I feel about my stupid stomach and my enormous thighs because they all tell me "oh no, you don't look fat at all! You're sexy, you're beautiful, you're cute-thicc".
I didn't even exercise this morning, and I get out of work super, super late, so it's not like I can work out when I get home either. I hate this.
Thanks for listening.
[Discussion] Fresca, spitz, and cigarettes
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 107 | 19.1 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 28 11:30:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87tstp/fresca_spitz_and_cigarettes/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE use their period as an excuse to eat more?
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7 | 120.8 | 18.92 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Wed Mar 28 11:20:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87tq0o/dae_use_their_period_as_an_excuse_to_eat_more/
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CW: menstruation
As a person who menstruates, I get debilitating cramps and cravings that my brain convinces me that āeat a giant hot fudge sundae and fries and you wonāt feel pain anymoreā. Certain foods literally help my mood and cramps but around my period I get the mindset āitās all bloating and water weight, I can eat gross for a few days and then purge/restrict for the next three weeksā. My calorie count is typically no higher than 500 but itās barley the afternoon where I am and Iām already over that.
[Other] why do some users here take laxatives?
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: 164.4 | -30.6]
Created: Wed Mar 28 10:45:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87tflb/why_do_some_users_here_take_laxatives/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I am so conflicting.
/u/luxiocharms [5'2"| 113lbs |F]
Created: Wed Mar 28 10:43:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87tey7/i_am_so_conflicting/
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āMaybe I do have an EDā I say to myself, as I plan out my 24 hour fasts for the week, plan my social outings around my laxative dosages, and think about my body, my food, my image hours on end.
Yet, there are so many moments when I almost feel normal.
Last night, before I was alone with my thoughts, I went out to dinner with my boyfriendās family and had a meal. I didnāt obsess over my calories, at least until I got home and ate some honey nut Cheerios like a pig. For a whole two hours, I felt like a healthy teenage girl. How could I have a disorder when I ate normally for a whole entire day?
Then I got today. Then I thought about my past. Living on edge constantly because my IBS makes me pudgy, because Iām terrified of being fat like my family, because I am so out of control in my life I crave to control something, anything.
Concurrently, while aware of my actions, I donāt want to stop. I want to be muscular and skinny and love how I look on a random Wednesday afternoons. I donāt want to tell anyone I know because they will look at me with pity. I want to keep this control in the palm of my hand. I feel so alone, but also like a faker because itās my little secret. I want to mentally be better, but I donāt want to give up the confidence that comes with my stomach being flat.
[Discussion] Dehydration messing with scales?
/u/Boringfantasyland [Height:164cm | CW:lbs | BMI:Gender:M]
Created: Wed Mar 28 10:24:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87t98q/dehydration_messing_with_scales/
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Need advice here from fellow bulimics. Got down to a underweight bmi via restriction. Since then I've gained weight. But I'm still b/p. Now the scale says I'm still that underweight bmi but I'm not. (Ribcage disappeared, barely visible collar bones.) Can dehydration account for 10-15 pounds on the scale? I'm trying to recover. So should I expect a change in scale numbers due to rehydration.
[Help] Laxative question - please help, freaking out!
/u/rnyth [5'6 | CW: <113 lbs | GW: 99 lbs | BMI: <18 | F 24]
Created: Wed Mar 28 10:19:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87t7wm/laxative_question_please_help_freaking_out/
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I just took two Ducolax for the first time because I freaked out after my GP weighed me. I've never taken any laxatives before in all my 10 years of having an ED. I know all the dangers of it - I really won't do it again, so please don't warn me about it.
Anyway, the problem: tomorrow night is a really important night for me and I'd be really distressed if my stomach didn't look flat. Will these laxatives I took this afternoon bloat me? Is there any advice you can give to keep my stomach looking flat? I've eaten under 1000kcals total the past two days FYI, rice, bananas and apples and drinking tea and water.
Please help, I'm really freaking out and upset! ): Sorry, I know this sounds really trivial...
this diet tracking tooth censor is everything I, and probably most of you guys, have ever wanted
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Wed Mar 28 10:04:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87t30x/this_diet_tracking_tooth_censor_is_everything_i/
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https://gadgtecs.com/2018/03/27/a-tiny-tooth-mounted-sensor-can-now-track-your-diet/
[Discussion] Does anyone have nostalgic ED foods too?
/u/jasper1796 [5'5 | CW: 112 | 18.6 | GW: 102 ]
Created: Wed Mar 28 09:39:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87svxs/does_anyone_have_nostalgic_ed_foods_too/
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When I was 15 and the whole restriction thing started, it was semi accidental because I was just trying to eat "healthier" so I would eat basically only fruits and salads.
Me and my mom used to go grocery shopping every Tuesday and pick up a load of fruit, including this container of cantaloupe, honeydew, and pineapple that the grocery store always had. It was always pre portioned for it to last the week for school lunches. Then, every night I would slice those chunks of fruit up even smaller, add some apple slices and kiwi, maybe grapes or pear, and put it in tupperware for my school lunch the next day. I did this pretty much my entire grade 10 year, and this was also when I was at my LW.
Fast forward to yesterday, I decided to go to that same grocery chain instead of the one I usually go to because they have more variety. Low and behold I see the pre portioned cantaloupe, honeydew, and pineapple. In retrospect, it's more expensive than just buying the fruits and cutting them up myself, but something about it made me really want to buy it.
Just then I had my lunch of those fruits cut up smaller with apple slices and I swear it felt like I was 15 again. Super strange feeling, but it almost motivates me to keep doing this because I know it worked before. Weird how food can make you feel so nostalgic.
Anyone else have food like this?
TL;DR: I had my old restriction lunch from high school and it made me feel incredibly nostalgic.
[Help] What percentage of intake do you expect to lose by purging
/u/slip_n_slice
Created: Wed Mar 28 08:49:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87shxr/what_percentage_of_intake_do_you_expect_to_lose/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else just lose their shit when things don't go to plan??
/u/toselx [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Wed Mar 28 08:23:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87sahl/anyone_else_just_lose_their_shit_when_things_dont/
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On Tuesday I was at uni and I was craving a banh mi (aka viet roll) so I decided to text my mum to buy me one since she was out, so I could go home and have that for lunch. I had been restricting so well the past few days and I haven't had a banh mi for ages, so I was anticipating eating this sandwich for the whole day. So anyway, I got home and it turns out my mum didn't end up getting banh mi because she thought I meant BANANAS??!?! I was so upset cos how the fuck could you have misinterpreted that? Like even if the word wasn't in your vocabulary why wouldn't you ask me to clarify?
My mum did apologise and I said it was okay but I was so pissed cos I was thinking about this the entire day. And since I didn't have anything to eat and that totally fucked up my plans, I ended up raiding the pantry and binged after literally 3 weeks of not binging. And then I binged all day today as well. I feel so shit and I'm still so pissed off at my mum even though I know I shouldn't be. I stepped on the scale and I've gained back all the weight I've lost from restricting the past few weeks. All because I didn't get my fucking viet roll.
[Intro] Hello everyone!
/u/theliberalpedestrian
Created: Wed Mar 28 08:18:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87s92s/hello_everyone/
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I've been lurking for a minute now and thought it was time to say hello. I've had ED for about 6 years now (I'm 22), but in a lot of ways I feel it's always been with me. It's very much tied to my bi-polar. When I'm manic I tend to binge, I feel like nothing I do will have consequences including my eating. Right now I'm in a minor depressive episode which allows me to restrict. This morning I was 159.6lbs, down from my highest at around 225 a few years ago. Seven of those pounds I lost in the last four days when I began my current restriction cycle. I don't necessarily have a goal weight. It was 155 but now that I'm almost there I'm not satisfied. I tried to write up a post about my main trigger yesterday, comparing myself to partners, but it got flagged (boo). I am a lesbian and the bodies of the women I'm with are a huge motivator for me, like living thinspo. It's gotten pretty unhealthy for my relationships, and I sometimes wonder if I'm attracted to a girl ONLY because she's thin. That is the one aspect of my ED that I really do want to work on now. I know the next few days will be tough because I always lose a lot right off the bat then it plateaus once my body realizes what I'm up to. I'm so number motivated, the scale is god I swear. I weigh myself like 5 times a day. I try to keep around 200 solid calories a day + alcohol which is around 240 lately. Cigarettes and weed are fair game :) Anyway, feel free to reach out, I'm nice I promise!
[Tip] Discovered an awesome low calorie snack and had to share!
/u/fieryanxiety [5'7" | CW 119 | BMI 19| HW 159 | GW 110]
Created: Wed Mar 28 07:20:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87rua3/discovered_an_awesome_low_calorie_snack_and_had/
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So I know this is a low quality post but it makes me happy. So Oskar Mayer deli meat is super low cal. What I've been doing is buying that (turkey or chicken) and large pieces of romaine lettuce. Take one piece and roll it up in the lettuce and it's so satisfying! Salty and crunchy. It averages about 10 calories each. So I just had two of them and a pickle. A 25 calorie breakfast and I feel full. I just had to tell you guys because it's such an easy snack to help you through while restricting!
[Help] Help with lightheadedness and weakness while restricting
/u/hemera-ilios
Created: Wed Mar 28 06:54:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87rnss/help_with_lightheadedness_and_weakness_while/
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New here. So, I've been relapsing for the past 4 weeks after being recovered for about 2 years. Started as me trying to lose weight healthily (eating about 1000-1200 calories per day) and it just deteriorated rapidly, and now I'm on 150-350 calories per day and haven't been binging at all. Fun. My weight's dropped relatively significantly, but I'm still a healthy BMI. I felt fine until yesterday, but now I feel extremely lightheaded and weak, and I'm getting really bad head-rushes whenever I stand. I'm trying to complete my masters degree and I really need to get to the library this week to get an essay done but right now I feel like I can't even get out of bed. I think I used to just push through that, but maybe I have less willpower now. Idk, I'm such a failure.
Is there anything anybody's done that helps this? I don't really want to increase my calorie intake because then I'll just be so anxious that I won't be productive anyway.
[Help] Outpatient NG tube feeds?
/u/liquid_nitrogenn
Created: Wed Mar 28 06:42:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87rkzs/outpatient_ng_tube_feeds/
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Tl;dr: I've been maintaining a BMI of 16.97 for the past month, it's getting really obsessive and difficult to plan meals, and I want a break without going back to IP or residential, so I'm considering talking to my PCP and outpatient team about tube feeds to help me keep up maintenance. Any thoughts or advice?
Without details of all the panic attacks and crying episodes, I'm at my lowest weight (fluctuates around 89.8 lbs and I'm 5'1) and I've been maintaining for the past month. It's been getting really hard recently - my headspace is completely occupied with thoughts of when and what and how much and if I'm gonna eat and I spend an absurd amount of time meticulously planning my intake. It's obsessive and it's getting exhausting, and I feel like giving up and just going back to restricting and purging into oblivion, but I don't want to physically deteriorate.
So I'm considering relying partially on tube feeds to help me maintain my weight for a while (or even gain a tiny bit, whatever). The physical act of eating is just so hard right now and the planning that goes into it is so obsessive and ridiculous and my mind needs a break.
Have any of y'all done tube feeds outpatient? Was it helpful?
I'm not willing to go back to treatment, as my physical health is okay right now and I don't believe in their treatment philosophies (treatment centers always set my target weight too high and I know from experience that overshooting my weight always leads me to relapse hard). I personally think IP/res is helpful only if you're motivated to get better *their way* OR if you're actually dying or physically/mentally in a crisis and need to be kept safe. Since neither situations apply to me, going back to IP/res isn't an option, which is why I'm considering outpatient tube feeds to help me maintain or slowly gain at a rate that feels comfortable to me.
Since I'm struggling so much right now, I think an NG tube could be helpful to prevent total relapse back into disordered behavior and keep me from losing more weight.
Is this a totally ridiculous idea? Do you think it's worth trying out? Please share any experiences you have with NG tubes and let me know your thoughts!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 28, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 28 06:12:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87re1z/daily_food_diary_march_28_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for March 28, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday March 28, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 28 06:11:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87rdoh/way_to_go_wednesday_march_28_2018/
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This is the weekly achievement thread for March 28, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Help] Adhd meds and weightloss
/u/Such_fruits_as_these [5'3 | 111 | 20.39 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 28 05:49:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87r93d/adhd_meds_and_weightloss/
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I started on ADHD meds 2 months ago which was a little after i began to relapse. Im worried when i go in for my next prescription the weightloss will mean i wont get the meds, or at the very least theyll monitor me more closely (my ed history is in my records)
Im not asking for tips, i know theres plently of ways to hide weightloss, i guess im just wondering if i should?
[Rant/Rave] F*ck Easter.
/u/innocentkitty [5'1.5 | CW: 94 | 17.9 | GW: 92]
Created: Wed Mar 28 05:43:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87r7u4/fck_easter/
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Easter makes me feel so anxious. I wish I could be a normal person and look forward to a weekend dedicated to eating chocolate but instead it puts me on edge for weeks, having mountains of chocolate staring me in the face every day and having to factor in the chocolate to my eating plan for the next month. When people gift me eggs I feel so terrible that somebody has spent a ton of money buying me something thinking i'll love it when in reality it's the worst thing they ever could've done. I feel too guilty to throw it away but even more guilty if i eat it (and i will eat it, and binge on it, because I have 0 self control when it comes to chocolate)
My parents just sent me a giant 1000 calorie cadburys easter egg in the mail with 2 sharing chocolate bars, i'm in a low period of depression atm so this is potentially very, very dangerous. I've told them so many times not to buy me chocolate, but they just shake it off thinking i'm on a health kick or trying a new diet. Their intentions are 1000% in the right place which is what makes it hurt the most.
Just... yeah, fuck Easter.
[Discussion] DAE hates being interrupted while eating?
/u/verypetitbourgeois
Created: Wed Mar 28 05:24:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87r49n/dae_hates_being_interrupted_while_eating/
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I'm somewhat ok for eating around some people if I'm mentally prepared enough for it or drunk. However, once I start eating I get so absorbed into it (be it a nice small cal meal or a binge) that I hate when people comment on it or try to start talking to me in the midst of eating. The worst is when my mother walks into my room/the kitchen while I'm eating (i'm over 20 but still live with her). It doesnt matter if it's a binge or safe food, it's *my* moment, if you disturb it, I'll be upset.
(tag this as Discussion idk how to properly do it)
[Help] Bronkaid at almost 300lbs?
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 298.4 | Goal: 270 | 46.7 | 0 | F ]
Created: Wed Mar 28 03:55:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87qnrg/bronkaid_at_almost_300lbs/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Diet Coke reality check: does drinking diet soda pose any risk to people who are otherwise healthy?
/u/happymasq [5'6'' | CW 109 | BMI 16.89 | 26F]
Created: Wed Mar 28 03:47:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87qmdx/diet_coke_reality_check_does_drinking_diet_soda/
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Most of the articles I've read on the health risks of drinking diet soda center on the supposed link between diet soda and obesity-related ailments like diabetes, heart disease, etc. As [the researcher behind this study](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/drinking-diet-soda-raise-risk-stroke-2017073112109) says, that could be a case of reverse causation:
> Diet beverages may have shown a link to stroke because of a different issue, called reverse causation. In an attempt to be healthier, people who are overweight or have diabetes may be more likely to choose diet drinks over sugary ones. Their heightened stroke risk may result from their health problems rather than their beverage choice. āWe might just be measuring the residual impact of obesity and diabetes,ā says Dr. Rexrode.
Assuming this is correct, does drinking diet soda pose any risk to people who are otherwise fit and healthy? I'll take anecdotal evidence as well.
I ask because diet soda is basically my one and only indulgence these days. Ever since I quit drinking alcohol, I've taken to drinking between 3 and 4 cans of diet soda every day. Sometimes, I worry this will come back to bite me in the ass. But aside from that, my diet and lifestyle is pretty good atm. 2200 calories a day consisting of lots of eggs, fresh fruit and veggies, and no-sugar-added nut butters. I also hit the gym 5 to 6 days a week.
And yeah, I realize the futility of worrying about this when my disordered eating probably does far more harm to my body than soda ever will. But you guys always have interesting thoughts and I wanted to hear your take on this.
[Intro] I've wasted the last six months of actual and potential progress
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW idk man | GW 115 | UGW 105 | F21]
Created: Wed Mar 28 03:17:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87qhq1/ive_wasted_the_last_six_months_of_actual_and/
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Two years ago I was at one of my lowest adult weights, I liked how I looked and I was happy with it. But then I got into a relationship, back into eating/binging and ballooned up to aprox 140 lbs.
Six months ago I finally got down to 127 lbs by accident and as easily as I lost the weight, I put it back on. I've spent the last while repeatedly bouncing between 132 - 143 and it's fucking awful. I'm so upset and tired of this. I know it's because I get lazy or I accept food in social situations but I'm just so tired.
I leave for a three month Europe trip in two weeks and I'm currently sitting around 135. I really wanted to be at least 125 lbs if not my GW of 115 or 110. I had months to prepare and I fucked it all up. I've known of this trip since January and would have had an entire, generous three months to prepare but instead I kept fucking around. I even had another trip last November that I was supposed to be prepared for but again, I fucked that as well.
I'm so fucking upset and just spent the last hour driving and sobbing in my car. To make things even worse, my face has broken out more horribly than it has in weeks or probably months. I'm chubby, my skin is disgusting and I just feel so ugly. Plus earlier today I got into a lowkey argument with my closest friend regarding my size and it just made me feel even worse knowing that she thought I wear a size 8 when I'm actually a 4 and have never fit anything bigger than a 4. I didn't think I looked that big.
I just needed to get this all out. TLDR; I'm a time-wasting idiot
[Rant/Rave] i feel like actual trash cause all iāve done is binge the past few days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 28 01:02:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87pvz6/i_feel_like_actual_trash_cause_all_ive_done_is/
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[deleted]
[Help] Sensitivity to heat?
/u/Firerose157 [5'4" | ~118 lbs | F š PandaTheBear]
Created: Wed Mar 28 00:12:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87pn05/sensitivity_to_heat/
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Normally I'm cold, always covering up to stay warm. Today I am really hot, sweating like crazy, especially my palms. Wearing a tshirt and shorts and it's supposedly a really cold night as always. Never had this, anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] i'll eat tomorrow but i'm not thin.
/u/illendmylife [114lbs | gw 100lbs | f]
Created: Tue Mar 27 23:42:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87phv8/ill_eat_tomorrow_but_im_not_thin/
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i'm not thin anymore. i wasn't ever thin either. i'm "underweight"" but i'm a normal weight. except everyone SAYS i'm thin but i'm really not. i hate when they tell me i'm thin. i have friends who are the same height and smaller than me.. they claim they don't have an ED and that makes me feel worse because i'm miserable and i'm so scared of gaining weight and it seems like they don't even care but they're still lighter. am i really that pathetic?? i'm so pathetic i wish i'd kill myself. i don't want to eat. i never want to eat. i wish i would die. i hate being alive.
i couldn't take in voicechat today with an online friend because i purged too much today and my throat was sore and i'm self conscious about my voice. but i agree'd i'd get a pizza tomorrow and eat it because he said i'm really thin and i should gain some weight.. and i said ok. because honestly i'm a piece of shit and that pizza sounds so tasty and i want to cry. i don't want to purge anymore. every time i eat i want to purge or i do purge. i purge almost every time now. i hate myself. i don't even look good losing weight. the weight doesn't matter. i look bad no matter what i just want to feel like i'm accomplishing something. i'm bad at everything in my life. my life is pointless. i feel good when i lose weight. i don't know. i'm so pathetic. i'm going to eat that pizza tomorrow and i won't let myself purge it but like haha why even bring it up. i'm not thin and i never will be. i want to kill myself. thinking about eating makes me shake. i hate food. i wish i was dead
[Help] Am I anorexic?
/u/unstablehumanoid
Created: Tue Mar 27 23:42:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87phtj/am_i_anorexic/
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I've been afraid to say anything about this on here because of the whole "post history" thing and I don't want to be judged in other subs, but I honestly need your feedback about my situation.
I am 21, 5'0" and 103lbs. I was 90lbs before I had my son two years ago. I gained 60lbs with the pregnancy and I managed to lose all of it but I don't know how. I do have very severe PTSD and Major Depression Disorder on top of chronic pain.
I guess after watching countless videos of Eugenia Cooney on YouTube, I started to wonder if I was also anorexic. (I guess she hasn't said she has anorexia specifically, but has recently admitted to having an eating disorder in a roundabout way on a YouNow clip.) I have seen the comments she gets and have been on both sides of the fence with my opinion on her. I really can't believe how different she looks now compared to her older videos from like 2013. Her face is thinner, her bones more noticeable and the color has faded from her skin. I then remembered that I've heard a lot of comments in the past year or so that were pointing out the same things I just noticed about Eugenia's changes.
"Your face has gotten a lot thinner since I last saw you!"
"You need to get some sun! You're too pale."
"You look sick. Are you feeling alright?"
"You should really have a piece of cake. You're just skin and bones, anyway."
All these memories flooding back (*ptsd*) throughout the last few years has really got me wondering if there is more to my condition than just depression. Of course, depression can cause loss of appetite and I know many people struggle with that symptom as well. I see how my husband handles his depression by binging. It makes me lose my already miniscule appetite to watch him eat. He's a gorgeous man, very muscular and not overweight from fat. He's overweight from muscle if that makes sense. Big big dude. He eats like a sow. It's gross. Very repulsive.
Food... I don't really have a favorite anymore. It was pizza and sushi. Now, I am fine with a glass of water or cup of coffee instead. I caught myself body-checking in the mirror before a shower the other day. I get dizzy because I can't force myself to eat. I keep smoking cigarettes and drinking more and more coffee until I start to tremble and feel nauseous. Then feeling nauseous makes me want to sleep. The more I sleep and avoid the kitchen, the less food I eat. I often try to get out of dinner by using my chronic pain as an excuse not to eat at the same time as my husband or son. I prepare meals fairly often for them and I still have very little desire to eat them.
Today, I had a banana for breakfast and some steamed veggies for dinner. All I could think about was oreos but the thought of actually having them in my stomach made me nauseous. No, I'm not pregnant again. I checked. Four times. All negative. But where is Aunt Flo? I haven't seen her for quite some time. I don't miss my periods, but I'm concerned about my health if she isn't showing up as usual.
What do you think? Is this typical for ED patients? Am I just too depressed? Why am I like this...?
[Rant/Rave] What kind of Professor is so fucking stupid that they have an ED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 27 23:34:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87pgiv/what_kind_of_professor_is_so_fucking_stupid_that/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My rival is better than me at everything.....including being mentally ill
/u/louloulouise
Created: Tue Mar 27 23:28:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87pfe0/my_rival_is_better_than_me_at_everythingincluding/
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So thereās this girl Iāve known since kindergarten who Iāve competed with over everything. Same school plays, same scholastic competitions, same classes...... even once I switched high schools, our parents were still friends and compared colleges, boyfriends, jobs......etc
Our names are even similar (like the difference between Leah and Leia similar) and people always called me by her name. Iāll call her Leah for this story.
To top it off, sheās always been super tiny. Sheās like 5 foot nothing and soooo slim. Like I have looked at her picture while making myself vomit before as goals/self hatred.
Well my mom was telling Leah she developed an eating distorted after being left by her abusive ex a few months ago. (This is the same reason mine redeveloped a few years ago.). Leahās mom is super worried about her and my mom described in graphic detail how tiny Leah has gotten.
My mom sort of commented āoh Leah is so assertive, I canāt imagine her being abusedā and I said āyeah I relateā with actual real empathy. And she said āwell your abuse wasnāt an ongoing thing though.ā
Yes, it was, but when I told her that she sighed and rolled her eyes as if I was trying to make it about me......and then continued talking about how ~perfectly~ thin and bony Leah was when she last saw her.
And ughhhhhhhhh........Iām so jealous
Leah lost a ton of weight in a few months because she actually has the strength/resilience to restrict where I restrict a lot but end up binge/purging myself to an odd bloated shape.
I know itās so stupid/bitchy to be jealous of this poor girlās horrible situation, but I canāt help feeling like sheās better than me yet again
And now I feel like if I ever do tell my mother about my ED sheāll never believe me because sheāll think Iām copying Leah. And maybe she wonāt believe me because Iām not as skinny as she is.
Even I kind of feel like a fraud because Iām not super skinny.......
Iām trying not to let this trigger me into competitively restricting or purging......Iām really trying. One thing that sort of helps is Iām at home on vacation so my parents see what I eat for the next week. But it will be nice to get home and away from my mother telling me just how prominent Leahās collarbones are......
Thanks for understanding guys, Iām pretty sure anyone else would think Iām nuts/a bitch.
[Discussion] Dumbest thing that has ever triggered/motivated you?
/u/denimlemonade [5'4" | CW 154.8 | 27.1 | GW 110 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 27 22:59:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87pa5j/dumbest_thing_that_has_ever_triggeredmotivated_you/
---
I just saw an M&M ad structured like a dating profile in which one of the female M&Ms lists her weight as "lower than my IQ."
I don't even know my own IQ and I still want that. From an ad for M&Ms.
So tell me all the weird dumb little things that hit you harder than they should!
[Goal] Goals āļø
/u/TheOrgazoid99
Created: Tue Mar 27 22:45:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87p7h3/goals/
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I was going to wait til the end of the week but I canāt (hmm, itās like impatience and impulsiveness have something to do with being here š¬)
Anyone want to share some goals, and update them in a week? (I could tag?) Not sure how mods/admins would feel, but as long as theyāre non-ED or at least harm reduction goals, surely itās okay? I promise youāll be met with profanity-laden enthusiasm!
Mine:
* get assignment in on time. ED has been too distracting lately but itās a tiny assignment and I need to fucking get it done š¤
* daily sexy times. Iāve been too distracted and unwell for a few weeks. I havenāt even been listening properly to my partner - let alone getting jiggy. We usually average more than 7 times/week so yeah... Happy fucking Easter to me š
* No restricting, binging, or purging. Itās an intense goal but I need to chill at maintenance for another 3 weeks. Iām āallowedā to relapse if I absolutely canāt handle it, but not for another 3 weeks. Iāve got over the initial 2lb food weight gain, I have to see this through. Its fucking scary and unpleasant but calories within 200 of TDEE š
Please flair discussion.
[Rant/Rave] why am i so fat lol + me being a shit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 27 22:42:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87p72m/why_am_i_so_fat_lol_me_being_a_shit/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone here get heart palpitations?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 27 22:36:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87p5wa/does_anyone_here_get_heart_palpitations/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The aspect of ācontrolā
/u/Lillie1990
Created: Tue Mar 27 22:17:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87p240/the_aspect_of_control/
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Ever since I can remember I have heard people explain the reasoning behind eating disorders as the person wanting to feel in control. And I never fully understood it until one day not too long ago I thought āoh, thatās me.ā I figured it was like a girl having a lot of problems in one separate aspect of life and restricting to feel in control of *something*. It wasnāt until I started fasting that I realized how good it feels to be in control of *food* and everything surrounding it. It feels great not to gorge myself. It feels amazing to reach for a bag of chips and then think twice. It feels even better when I have the discipline not to reach for them at all. It feels incredibly good to not eat. When Iām fasting, after a certain point, I just feel euphoric. I feel sexy, almost reckless. Iām the pretty girl, Iām losing weight. And obviously binging makes me feel out of control because... I am. I canāt stop myself from reaching for more. And when I do itās incredibly hard. My entire day revolves around what Iāll eat and when, and how much Iāll exercise tonight to be sure I can burn off that spoonful of cottage cheese. Just feeling food in my stomach disappoints me, even if itās because I licked the flavoring off a fucking wheat thin. But Iād rather obsess over what I eat than binge and be fine with it. When I donāt eat I feel like Iām disciplined, I feel like I have control over my appetite. But then I realize that being this completely obsessed with it has had the opposite effect, and food controls me. Itās hell but the self destructive part of me that loves to be in pain truly loves it.
[Rant/Rave] Just dumb venting
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Tue Mar 27 22:11:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87p0vh/just_dumb_venting/
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Iāve never felt more fucking invalid as an eating disordered person as I have in the last several months
I feel sick and full all the time
I feel so out of control
I keep yelling at myself to snap out of it
Iām not eating much more than when I restricted the most, I just have been policed by my husband so I no longer can do that, but Iām still restricting but I havenāt lost a pound in months
And Iām tired of asking and trying to figure out why
My body is just bursting out of my skin suit
I canāt look in the mirror anymore
All of my progress is not progress anymore but a waste
I just have this complete and utter feeling of loneliness and self loathing brimming in me ready to boil over (for other reasons seasoned in there)
I am no longer good at the ONE THING I was good at still.
Im sorry I just had to write this somewhere
Love you guys
[Rant/Rave] back on my bullshit
/u/squishykiss
Created: Tue Mar 27 21:30:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87osi7/back_on_my_bullshit/
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[removed]
[Help] Please tell me I can do this.
/u/steamedbun_27 [165cm | too much / GW: 50kg | idk | -27kg | F]
Created: Tue Mar 27 21:23:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87or3g/please_tell_me_i_can_do_this/
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I've come out of a 4 month binge long cycle and am currently restricting. Granted, some days I screw up but I am determined to lose it all again. I don't know how much weight I put on, and I don't dare to step on the scale. My mum knows. She surely does. But she keeps quiet about it. Everytime we walk into the kitchen, I know she glances at what I'm making. She knows that I'm hurting myself, yet she wouldn't say anything because she knows I'm stubborn. I've fainted in practices before.
Yesterday, she cut up oranges and was eating them in the kitchen. I found it weird because usually she'd ask me if I want some. But she didn't. So I naturally asked her if I could have some? And she was so happy. I swore her eyes lit up. But she said - "please eat, ok? You're growing. You need to eat." and then my heart broke. why am I doing this to myself? Why does my ED make me hate myself and hurt other people around me? I really do not want to restrict, but she looked so happy when relatives around us were praising me for my weight loss, etc. Please tell me I can do this again.
Tip : put a retainer in as soon as you're done eating for the day
/u/theliberalpedestrian
Created: Tue Mar 27 21:05:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87on49/tip_put_a_retainer_in_as_soon_as_youre_done/
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I have a bottom retainer and when I've decided I'm done eating for the day (usually whenever I get home from work) I'll put it in as a constant subtle reminder of "no food." Just a small tip that's helped me out :)
[Discussion] [Discussion] Does anyone else get more uncomfortable as they lose weight because people notice them more?
/u/pailblusea
Created: Tue Mar 27 21:05:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87on1m/discussion_does_anyone_else_get_more/
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Edit: maybe this is more of a rant or a general vent but I have no one to talk to soooo...
I am usually just a lurker here but I like reading this sub and identifying with others here.
I guess lately I just have felt my anxiety disorder getting worse now that the more weight I lose the more people notice my body...and they aren't shy to "compliment" me on it. Telling me how hot it is and that it looks so good coming from both men and women. Especially the women I work with and I know they don't mean any harm by it but it makes me so uncomfortable that people are looking at me that way. Sometimes it makes me so anxious I just shake and want to hide away forever. I don't dress in tight clothes... I work in a hospital and wear scrubs slightly too baggy.
I dunno but it just triggers me in a bad way.
I can't stop obsessing about food and not eating it, though. It's been this way since I was a teen...being anorexic and eating one ham sandwich a day and lots of water. The psychiatrist said it was a control issue for me. Over the years it has come and gone. Sometimes I starve myself for months/years. Sometimes I go through phases of binge eating and gaining 40 lbs in 6 months after getting raped by some stranger. I hate men looking at me sexually.
I like being thin, though. I feel good restricting. I compare myself to other women all day long for my self-esteem. I guess I still have control issues because everything else in my life sucks.
I wish I could be able to never leave my house and just sit on the internet 24/7 watching Law & Order re-runs.
Tl;dr: DAE get uncomfortable with ANY attention about their bodies?
[Other] Fainted for the first time in my life today
/u/dortuh [5'8" | 114.4lb | BMI 17.4 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 27 20:51:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ojwz/fainted_for_the_first_time_in_my_life_today/
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Edit: tl;dr at the end
I've done this before. I'm only a month in to a relapse. I'm only 114.4 lbs. I've been at 95 lbs and never fainted. I never thought this would actually happen. Especially not at this weight. But I've probably been going harder than ever...
I've been restricting more than I ever have and exercising as much as possible. BUT I've felt more fine than ever. Used to be unable to go this hard cause I couldn't handle it. This time around I've been feeling totally normal for the most part.
However, I feel that this COULD still be an isolated incident.
I made a hot Epsom salt bath with THC salts. I smoked a little weed first and got in to finally relax. About 5-7 minutes later I hear a knock on the door. I respond but get nothing. Nobody is home. I start freaking out, I stand up real fast to grab my phone to call my mom, and I just lose control and slowly start falling down back into the tub as things get a little dark. My whole body is pulsing in a weird way. Still trying to hold the phone, my hand is shaking wildly out of control. This was the first time I thought I might actually pass out. I was able to regain control of myself but holy fuck it was scary. I got out and ate 194 calories. I'm thinking I should maybe have more than that tonight...
Fuck. I was happy with my progress and don't want to have to slow down.
Tl;dr- I stood up too fast from a hot bath and fell right back down and thought I might pass out. I've been going hard lately.
[Rant/Rave] Every time I think recovery is possible...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 27 20:45:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87oiqc/every_time_i_think_recovery_is_possible/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87oiqc/every_time_i_think_recovery_is_possible/
[Rant/Rave] DAE constantly compare their bodies to partners? (Lesbian-specifc)
/u/theliberalpedestrian
Created: Tue Mar 27 20:38:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87oh5g/dae_constantly_compare_their_bodies_to_partners/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Itās frustrating when your job literally tempts you every day.
/u/anxthekitten [5ā5.5 | 16F | SW 155lb | CW 147lb | UGW 110lb]
Created: Tue Mar 27 20:31:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ofl4/its_frustrating_when_your_job_literally_tempts/
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I work in a restaurant and all our managers except the main one donāt care if we take food home or eat it during closing. Which I hate! Iāve already tried the desserts, bread, etc that I like but Iām always tempted to try it and eat it again. I dont even like it enough to snack on it every day I work, but I do it because I guess I can? It makes me wish the cheap manager was always there so I wouldnāt be capable to get food as easily. I hate this.
And then I went from 147 to 149 when I weighed myself today. It may be because I checked these at different times of the day but it still gets to me. If I get back to 150s I donāt know what the heāll Iād do. I even fasted 15 hours today! Does anyone even know how to ensure that weight wonāt increase while restricting? Iām so scared my psychiatrist will say Iām 150 something again tomorrow, I wanna be fucking 145 by next week, but itās like the fat doesnāt wanna go away. :(
[Discussion] Where my drunk-a-rexics at?
/u/BustyBettyRage
Created: Tue Mar 27 20:19:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ocul/where_my_drunkarexics_at/
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....lol because here I am. It's my birthday. I am drunk as FUCK. And no one else gets me like you do! I fucking love you guys! Wooooooo!
----signed, Betty Drunkass Mothafukin Rage----
(P.s-> i am 36 today. So PLEASE don't feel like your illness doesn't matter because of your age. That is some Baby-BackBULLSHIT)
[Discussion] Does anyone struggle with depression related binge eating?
/u/misspennyfoolish
Created: Tue Mar 27 20:08:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87oa7x/does_anyone_struggle_with_depression_related/
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I can and do restrict when I feel mostly well or just anxious but once the depression hits, I just start shoving food in my face just to feel something. It sucks because then I gain weight and get more depressed.
I feel like a bad person saying this but Iām so jealous of people who lose their appetite when depressed.
How do you keep from binging when you just donāt care about life?
[Other] Did anyone else not feel ugly?
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:114 |GW:100 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 27 20:00:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87o8cr/did_anyone_else_not_feel_ugly/
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This is a weird post, but Iām curious. My ED didnāt really start because I thought I was super ugly and fat. I thought I was okay. I just love to torture myself.
I used to self harm a lot to make myself feel inferior and that was my āthingā. Then I started purposefully cutting off relationships and friendships I valued just to torture myself. The last thing I did was get really into different drugs to feel something, and now Iām balls deep in an ED.
I talked to my counselor about this and we both figured out that I like to do these things because I want to feel strong emotions and experience everything. I love feeling close to death and weak, I loved drugs, and I loved self harm because they made me feel intense emotions.
My ED made me start to hate my body and made me feel worthless, but it didnāt start that way at all. The hate for my body grows as my ED gets worse. I definitely have issues with my self image now that never existed before all of this. My dysmorphia is so shitty that I honestly have no clue what I really look like anymore.
This definitely isnāt the case with everyone, but I was wondering if anyone else found themselves having an ED without having self image issues first.
[Help] Please help- how can I stop thinking about food for good????!!
/u/onegoalfullcontrol
Created: Tue Mar 27 19:58:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87o7s5/please_help_how_can_i_stop_thinking_about_food/
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Problem is, even though I technically don't have an ED anymore, but I can't stop thinking about food. I can't control what I eat anymore. I can't fast, I can't restrict, and I keep overeating (and thus maintaining my high weight). I need to do step 1: to stop thinking about food 24/7 but idk what to do.
I know that I probably should focus all my efforts on first the mental aspect then the weight loss aspect but idk how. I've been trying to do that for years and no success. Please if you have any long-term or short-term advice, I'd appreciate it. Long-term is better, but if I do the short-term advice all the time it would become long-term right?
[Rant/Rave] Just threw away a whole loaf of bread I bought earlier today [Rant]
/u/peony_princess [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Tue Mar 27 19:57:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87o7nm/just_threw_away_a_whole_loaf_of_bread_i_bought/
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...along with a bunch of other junk food. I only buy it because I'm struggling in school and I want the comfort of an instant sugar rush. I was thin and beautiful up until last year when I feel like a switch flipped and all of a sudden I stopped restricting and started bingeing, and I gained 20 pounds, making me "average" but since I'm so goddamn tall I just feel like a huge disgusting monster. I am disgusted with myself. I hate looking in the mirror. I visited my mom recently and at one point she put her arm around me and I almost started crying because I could feel her arm touching my side which is what I'm most insecure about. I just want to love myself again but I don't know how. :(
[Help] Someone convince me to eat, please
/u/missalligator [5'2" | 100 lb |]
Created: Tue Mar 27 19:33:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87o1yh/someone_convince_me_to_eat_please/
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I was doing pretty well with recovery for the last few weeks but for the last week I've fallen into this weird literal anorexia (minus nervosa), lack of appetite, and not because I've been fasting or want to lose weight. I've been having a sweet potato for breakfast every day and sometimes a second for lunch because they're soft, easy to put down, and give me energy being a starch, but its been difficult to put down even totally safe foods like lettuce. The full belly feeling has been the most uncomfortable part of recovery. Of course, I don't miss the constant low blood sugar and low blood pressure, which I why I need to eat before I start spiraling down again. But at the same time, its such a painful process to do so and three times a day. It still takes me so long to build up the courage to make food and get it down. I thought I was wasting time calculating every calorie and obsessing in general but recovery is even more consuming and exhausting and I think that's why I keep relapsing. But I can't go back now, I've made even a little progress as I've gained 5 lbs and became comfortable with things of more sustenance like beans and sweet potatoes. Breakfast is still difficult and after that, forget it. I feel like I've come so far but at the same time hopeless because I can't get myself back to where I was before the ED. I get really angry with myself because I can't manage to put anything down for lunch and dinner. It's just so frustrating when you realize as much as you tried so desperately to gain control to not eat, now you have no control to force yourself to eat. So someone, please, help me choke down something. Its been two days without and everything is as appealing as eating sewage. I refuse to go back.
[Rant/Rave] Whatās more fucked up: my body or my brain?
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:114 |GW:100 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 27 19:31:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87o1bm/whats_more_fucked_up_my_body_or_my_brain/
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Hint: itās both.
In the past month I fucked up and relapsed on laxatives. My use went from 2 a day to 10+ a day and it stood like that for a little under two weeks. Suddenly I started getting really bad chest pains and back pains. My arms would get numb. I would get insane stomach cramps to the point where it hurt to breathe. I have never gotten this bad ever.
Every night I would start wishing not to die and would tell myself that I wouldnāt take any more laxatives only to take more the next day once the panic faded.
I opened up about this to my boyfriend who offered to throw all my laxatives away. I let him do it, because I knew that I wouldnāt be able to. My counselor offered to throw them away for me earlier in the week, but I was convinced that I would be able to lower my intake myself.
I made myself doctors appointments and things because even without any laxatives my heart hasnāt been able to regulate itself and I get insane body aches. Iāve never been so scared for my health like this. My boyfriend told me that he didnāt want to lose me and it became so fucking real.
Today I had to tell my managers at work because Iāve been so weak on the sales floor that I canāt do my job properly. This shit is WILD. Iām a super workaholic. I love my job. I donāt want to lose it to this.
Even through all of that a sick part of me enjoys it. I almost feel successful that Iāve fucked up this badly and lost so much weight. Even though I canāt even regulate my heartbeat Iām already planning my next moves. I want to make sure I can regulate my physical symptoms and my laxative use is hopefully done forever. I know Iāll still be able to restrict, and Iām so excited to hopefully feel better again and continue restricting like I used to. Even through all of the physical symptoms Iām still restricting to 300 calories at most.
Iām shocked at myself and honestly Iāve never known this part of myself. I never thought I could be this way, but Iām literally unwilling to stop until I reach 100IBS. I need to be there. Even though Iām physically sick because of this I still donāt think Iāve tried hard enough.
I havenāt won yet. I feel like I have to keep going.
I hate this but I donāt know how to eat normally at this point and I never want to eat normally again.
Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] [Long] I might have gotten myself addicted to ephedrine
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 27 19:05:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87nvh8/long_i_might_have_gotten_myself_addicted_to/
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[deleted]
[Help] Starting prozac, already on bupropion?
/u/aweebirb [4'10.5F | CBMI: 23.9 | GBMI: 18]
Created: Tue Mar 27 19:00:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87nuaw/starting_prozac_already_on_bupropion/
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Hi! I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, frequent panic attacks, depression, and disordered (binge) eating, and am in therapy for the first three of these issues. I have been on wellbutrin for depression and severe headaches for about two years and it worked wonderfully for both for ~1 year, even causing me to lose about 10 pounds without trying which was ~awesome~. Sadly since then I've gained the weight back and more and just in the last few months the depression and headaches made a massive comeback.
I am wondering what people's experiences here have been like with prozac, and especially if anyone's taken it along with wellbutrin/bupropion. Currently I am still taking my 300 XL wellbutrin and was just prescribed a low dose of prozac to be taken in the mornings along with my other prescription and vitamins. My doctor warned me that prozac can cause weight gain, but considering my tendencies to over/binge eat are heavily influenced by how depressed I am, I have a feeling it will be the opposite for me? Or will it actually influence my metabolism/BMR? I used to be active with a good amount of walking and strength training every other day, but since the depression's resurgence have mostly stayed at home though I do use a stationary bike for about an hour/day.
**tl;dr:** how has prozac influenced your weight and eating habits if at all?
Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] ED versus Depression
/u/uiume [5'5" | CW: :/ | F18]
Created: Tue Mar 27 18:47:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87nr8y/ed_versus_depression/
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Who will win...?
Apparently depression. Wow. Today is an eye-opening epiphany kind of day in regards to my mental health. Last week was the best I've felt in ages. I exercised every single day, restricted successfully, and didn't binge. I was productive and able to do schoolwork. I had so much energy. I was, dare I say happy. Or at least as close to happy as my mind can get.
I've felt the depressive mood creeping up on me since yesterday. I didn't exercise and treated it as my rest day even though i really didn't want to take a break. I barely exercised today, and I woke up with that dissociative feeling of not really existing yet existing too much, with that painful pressure building up inside of me with nowhere to go. Of course, I binged, I probably only ate maintenance calorie today but god it was terrible.
I didn't want to eat, I wasn't hungry, but that emptiness wouldn't leave me alone and I was tapping my leg and fingers frantically, I seriously could not think about anything other than food. I made a sandwich and ate Graham crackers out of the box mindlessly. I hated it. I drank as much water as I could while I ate and afterwards, like there was the ED part of me trying to minimize damage while depressed me just wanted to eat until it hurt. I thought about purging, but I didn't. I sat on my floor and cried for twenty minutes, punching my thighs and feeling paralyzed. I'm in bed thinking about all of the assignments I didn't do today, how I overate, failed at exercising, and generally did nothing right. When I get depressed I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I hate this. I hate depression.
But I'll keep going, I haven't failed and I'll just have to kick myself into functioning tomorrow, and throw my depression to the curb. Nothing would make me happier.
[Discussion] Does anyone drink water with every bite they eat?
/u/fabluous
Created: Tue Mar 27 18:00:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87nfhm/does_anyone_drink_water_with_every_bite_they_eat/
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All I drink is water. Not necessarily ED-related, just a habit I have that I haven't noticed in others. Other people will eat and not even touch their glass after several bites, but I always take a drink with every bite. Not even for ED related reasons, it's just how I eat. I haven't been able to find anyone who does this anywhere else and I always feel self-conscious eating around others because I'm always reaching for my waterbottle. I think people judge me and think it's gross because of the imagery of chewed up food being washed down by water.
I can't recall the last time I ate something without having a drink with nearly every bite. If I go a couple of bites without taking a drink, I feel the urge to take a drink. I dunno, I'm going to stop drinking with meals for like a week and see if that changes my experience with food. Sounds dumb, but I legitimately don't eat anything without taking a drink, it's subconscious. This is the way I've always eaten and I can't imagine otherwise, it's so subconscious that I'd have to deliberately not drink and I really haven't done that before. And if there was ever a time I didn't, well, I've long forgotten
I donāt want to see a therapist ever again.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 27 17:56:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87nenn/i_dont_want_to_see_a_therapist_ever_again/
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[deleted]
Starting to maybe accept that it might be time to start an excessive routine... What's everyone's experiences? Advice?
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 109 | GW2: 105 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Tue Mar 27 16:51:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87myct/starting_to_maybe_accept_that_it_might_be_time_to/
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I'm a student 5 days a week and my part time job now keeps me on my feet at least 20hrs a week on top of that, I however usually find it simple enough to restrict around 1200 which has given me some results but I'm plateauing and it's making me crazy.
Two years ago, deep into anorexia, I ended up dropping from 112 to 90 in twoish months eating around 500 a day and just not. Stopping. Moving. I also had no social life and was so preoccupied and dazed that people thought I had something wrong with me so I know I can't do that to myself again.
I'm coming to the conclusion that I may have to actually start excersising at this point to break through the 109lb mark and actually see some real progress.
I used to go to the gym occasionally but schedule makes it hard, any other former excersising phobes actually broke through their gym aversion though? Did you see results? I really don't know if it's even worth it, if it would just make me hungrier, but restriction alone is getting me nowhere right now.... :(
Filbert is one of us
/u/daddytwink
Created: Tue Mar 27 16:45:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87mwk3/filbert_is_one_of_us/
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https://i.imgur.com/c5ErZca.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Letting my ED just consume me.
/u/amybrightness
Created: Tue Mar 27 16:21:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87mqju/letting_my_ed_just_consume_me/
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[removed]
[Discussion] āRecoveryā sucks
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Tue Mar 27 15:47:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87mhmh/recovery_sucks/
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Iām really fighting this time but after 3-4 months Iām just mentally and physically exhausted. The mental hunger is still awful. The water retention and frankly fat is awful. My clothes donāt fit, coworkers comment about my cheeks, I can hardly stand after sitting and shower in the dark. I feel in a darker place than I ever felt while deep in my ED. I regret trying to get better and all the hard work I wasted just to become a constantly hungry water fat ballon. Iām getting to the point of too anxious to even leave the house because I hate being in my skin. Everything I read says it gets better but I just want my old life back. I want restriction, I want saggy butt skin. I just hate this. All I want to do is eat then not eat but mostly eat, hate myself and never leave the bed. Anyone else ever been here?
[Discussion] Does anyone else feed off the sympathy and worry of others?
/u/breadstickpolice
Created: Tue Mar 27 15:38:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87mf1n/does_anyone_else_feed_off_the_sympathy_and_worry/
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I feel bad but if Iām being completely honest with myself, I love the concern and attention my ED gets from my boyfriend. He is fully aware of everything that goes on with me and food, and on Saturday I got drunk and started talking about how I donāt really want to recover because itās familiar and Iām scared to eat more than a 1,000 a day and fuck the look of concern and sadness on his face just felt good.
It felt good to know that someone gives that much of a shit about me that itās upsetting. Heās the only person iāve ever told and not any of my friends in the past (in high school) ever noticed or cared about how badly I ate. It feels so selfish and shitty to feel nice about the fact that itās upsetting and concerning to him, but it honestly just feels good to have someoneās attention and care. Itās high key super shitty but I was wondering if anyone else feels this way.
[Rant/Rave] I am fixating over the most insignificant comment
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | fat | too high | Ugw: 7 lb 3 oz | 20f ]
Created: Tue Mar 27 15:32:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87mdks/i_am_fixating_over_the_most_insignificant_comment/
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Fair warning, this is a really pathetic and stupid post.
I was hanging out with this guy in Saturday at his place and we started kissing. At one point he pulled me in to be on top of him and I laughed and said "I'm going to crush you" to which he replied "no you're pretty small".
Pretty small. Not small. Not tiny. *pretty small*. As in I could be smaller. I could be a lot smaller. It's so pathetic that it ran through my mind the whole night that I was with him. And it made me act really weird and I think he noticed. It especially hurt because I've lost an extra five pounds in the last week and a half, I felt great before that. I know I'm not tiny but I am about a fucking pound from being underweight again. Now I have to be 5 or 10 or 15 pounds lighter next time I see him (if i see him again) so he can eat those words and choke on them. *pretty small*. Fuck that
[Rant/Rave] Rough day...
/u/blackbird1221
Created: Tue Mar 27 15:23:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87mb4v/rough_day/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I just need to vent
/u/softpinkglitter
Created: Tue Mar 27 15:14:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87m8kh/i_just_need_to_vent/
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TL;DR: Iām objectively ugly and I eat a lot.
So, hi everyone. Iām 17 years old, currently in 11th grade. All my life I have been ugly. I have been told that Iām ugly. Boys have made me feel ugly. They indirectly and directly told me. I have no confidence because of this, and the sad thing is that my life would be pretty much perfect if I was just a bit prettier. I always get ignored at parties, and everyone is interested in my friends.
The only people who tell me that iām pretty are my friends and family. But they love me so I donāt trust them. If someone tells me iām pretty, it makes my whole week, but I canāt fully trust anyone.I can see that iām ugly, and whenever I try to look for the good things in myself, I always cringe myself back to self loathing because I just canāt unsee how ugly am I.
And of course iām fat too. I was 70 kgs(154 lbs) back in January, then I started counting calories and im 65 (143) now. Im 165cm(5ā5), and my body type is soo ugly. I have a small ass with a āhip dipā, big stomach and fat arms.
But the worst part is my double chin. My lower jaw has not grown the way it should so my double chin looks enormous. My head is too big and my face looks strange.
I know this is rambling and Iām sorry if it annoys anyone, but I needed to let this out somewhere, and this place looked the most safe. Iām very sad, and I hate my looks so much that I feel sorry for the people who have to look at me at a daily basis. It is so depressing to look at pretty girls with beautiful features, with petite or curvy bodies. why is it such a hard thing to be pretty?
[Rant/Rave] Best Friend Has Pretty Much Snubbed Me and I Have No Clue Why. [RANT]
/u/Flesh_Daddy_
Created: Tue Mar 27 14:37:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87lxsf/best_friend_has_pretty_much_snubbed_me_and_i_have/
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I'm back on my bullshit, y'all. Not completely ED related but I just need somewhere to vent and you guys are just the most supportive people I've met.
My best friend and I met when I was 16. I'm nearly 23 now and we've been super close ever since. He's like my brother and the only friendship of the opposite sex that has lasted. Completely platonic, always has been. He also has very high-functioning autism, the only real struggle he has is sensitivity and understanding certain social constructs. He's very blunt and honest regardless of another person's feelings. I've always appreciated that in him. He knows my struggles with self-esteem and my ED.
The last time I've spoken to him was the end of January. I haven't heard from him since. He won't return my calls, my texts, or any messages/voicemails. He's just fallen off the face of the earth. I see him active on fb but he just won't talk to me. It's starting to really get to me. He never warned me that he may be going through something and may need some space. He never told me he doesn't wanna be friends anymore. Just... nothing. Nada. Zip. And I'm just so confused and a little hurt. I expressed that and, of course, it was met with nothing so I've been giving him his space and trying to be understanding but now I have this nagging feeling that he's never coming back and it's my fault.
I'm planning my wedding and another poster talked about how planning a wedding made them realize that they have no close friends and I'm in the same exact boat. And I just lost the one close and amazing friend I had. I have no family and the only friends I have are my fiance's. He was my only true friend and I'm so fucked up over this. I feel like Karma is coming back to bite me because of the guy friends I ghosted for trying to get with me. I used to drop people without explanation because my anxiety would get the best of me instead of communicating my feelings and letting people know I didn't want to be friends.
I guess I deserve this. I'm sorry this is so long, hope y'all are doing better than I am.
[Help] Will I gain weight?
/u/Internet_Soup
Created: Tue Mar 27 13:58:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87llrz/will_i_gain_weight/
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[removed]
Coffees starting to replace all my meals again
/u/DrunkenRidgeley [5'8 | 168 | 25.5 | -42 | Male]
Created: Tue Mar 27 13:41:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87lgj5/coffees_starting_to_replace_all_my_meals_again/
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https://i.redd.it/rhiv3x56zco01.jpg
[Tip] Nastey Meal prep
/u/handzies
Created: Tue Mar 27 13:18:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87l913/nastey_meal_prep/
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Hello, it's my first time posting on something like this, but I just want to share something that has been a game changer for me. I suppose this is more of a confession, my former confidant is doing great in recovery and I dont want to mess her up.
I have been making my food for the week on Sunday so that my people think I am eating, you know how it is. I usually prepare a big pot of something vegan, usually a soup, and I have recently started purposefully making the food gross so I can't binge it. For instance, I made vegan hot and sour soup, usually so good, but I added 4x the amount of ginger, no tofu, apple cider vinegar, and radishes.
I'm still eating it, but I am not over eating it. It's working out well for me.
[Other] DAE love watching people on youtube binge?
/u/nextlvlrattata [5'6 | dont have a scale| CGW 110| UGW 95]
Created: Tue Mar 27 12:58:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87l2h9/dae_love_watching_people_on_youtube_binge/
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its come to the point that thats all i really watch. i guess it's soothing to watch people binge when you wouldn't let yourself do that. they're meant to be entertaining because of the talking but i like hungry fatchick because she never really speaks in her videos. even in real life, i cook my mom stuff that i won't touch just to watch her eat it.
[Rant/Rave] This thing is starting to affect my relationships
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 27 12:50:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87l05t/this_thing_is_starting_to_affect_my_relationships/
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[deleted]
[Other] Is there an upper weight limit for a gastric band/sleeve?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 27 12:33:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87kvfj/is_there_an_upper_weight_limit_for_a_gastric/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87kvfj/is_there_an_upper_weight_limit_for_a_gastric/
[Rant/Rave] Visiting my triggering in-laws for Passover. Vent with no real point.
/u/designingwoman
Created: Tue Mar 27 12:31:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87kuql/visiting_my_triggering_inlaws_for_passover_vent/
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So.
I'm visiting my in-laws for three days over Passover later on this week.
My in-laws are lovely people, truly. They have accepted me into their family and treat me as a daughter almost.
They also like to compare weight with each other and taunt the other if they happen to be just a pound more than them.
These people are skinny as it is anyway, to the point of looking ill. They eat no carbs, no sugars and are both retired so are able to nap frequently throughout the day to conserve energy.
My wife and I can not do this, and I have a job that requires I am constantly moving and walking long distances. They are constantly on my wife to lose weight and I worry for her because they can be relentless. She's had a rough time lately with work, health etc. And I try to protect her from them but they don't care.
They dont mention a thing about me, but i already know that when I get there and the menu is lettuce and soup water my brain is going to go into starvation mode. "Yes this is plenty. I'm fine. I needed to lose weight anyway because I'm so horrific looking" and so on.
The thought of even a partial relapse is horrifying and shockingly welcomed? I'm not 100% in the mindset of, I'm going to be healthy and happy. Instead I'm on this odd fence where the closer I get to seeing my in-laws the more I feel like I'm going to fall off the fence and into a backyard of disordered eating and perpetual weakness.
I'm.fucked.
Anywho. I hope y'all have a great week and for those celebrating, I hope you have a lovely Passover with family and friends.
[Rant/Rave] Feels so good to be called small
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 27 11:52:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87kipr/feels_so_good_to_be_called_small/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My parents caused most of this
/u/alyssa1975
Created: Tue Mar 27 11:44:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87kg35/my_parents_caused_most_of_this/
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I know part of it is me, I really do. But ever since I was a little kid all I was told was ālook at that fat personā!āhow do you let that happen?ā āLet me see your stomach, a few sit ups wouldnāt kill you.ā And my dad wonāt ever stop talking about how her runs 7+ miles every day and is dizzy afterwords because all he had was a cereal bar and a salad. They judged my friends as a child too. After they left our house it was āoh they seem nice but could lose a few pounds.ā Basically I was taught that being thin was the most important thing you could be and now everything makes me feel guilty. Eating anything makes me hate myself. I couldnāt even finish the tiniest thing of fries today before tossing them away and crying. I feel disgusting. And now itās āoh honey I donāt know how you are so thin and fit without even trying! Thatās great!ā Yeah well itās because I literally live off of iced coffee and rice cakes and run around and dance is my room for hours and hours. But my parents always compliment me now so thatās what really matters right?! :))))
[Other] Will Cutting Calories Make You Live Longer?
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Tue Mar 27 11:41:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87kfds/will_cutting_calories_make_you_live_longer/
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https://www.wired.com/story/will-cutting-calories-make-you-live-longer/?mbid=social_fb_onsiteshare
[Help] Feeling like I'm gonna puke or pass out from restriction or dehydration. Will this help?
/u/Ekawa [Height 5'2 | CW 133 | BMI | -15 |F/22]
Created: Tue Mar 27 11:08:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87k5kc/feeling_like_im_gonna_puke_or_pass_out_from/
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So I keep feeling like I'm gonna vomit and pass out after some heavy restriction or dehydration I really dont know. (but I was drinking pedialyte after it was clear that I had a elektrolyte imbalance) so today I ate some food. Is eating more but still eating at a significant deficit going to stop the dizziness and nausea? Or do I need to eat a LOT to feel some kind of physical recovery from this hell? I don't think I've had a meal and kept it down since Saturday night and I can't poop except for like once a week and it's TINY.
[Discussion] DAE not drink out of a patterned mug or cup if they are wearing patterned clothes?!
/u/written-in-the-scars
Created: Tue Mar 27 11:08:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87k5f4/dae_not_drink_out_of_a_patterned_mug_or_cup_if/
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I realise now it is written down how bonkers this sounds. Am I alone in this?! (I will use a patterned mug if I am wearing a plain colour top)
[Discussion] I donāt feel like I really worked out unless Iām sweating like crazy, tired as hell, and my muscles hurt
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 27 11:02:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87k3ms/i_dont_feel_like_i_really_worked_out_unless_im/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] feeling so disgusting and need to vent
/u/myredditsockaccount [5'2" -50 & still fat]
Created: Tue Mar 27 11:02:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87k3ip/feeling_so_disgusting_and_need_to_vent/
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I've lurked here for awhile but never posted. Today I'm feeling especially shitty about myself so I thought this would be an applicable place for me to unload. Sorry for any grammatical/typing errors I'm all shook up right now.
To start with I'm going to go back in time about 15 years. Like many people, I developed an eating disorder when I was in high school. I'm 5'2" and wore a size 14 in girls. I lost more weight and was sent to a recovery center when I was 17 and 89 pounds. Eventually, I got up to 110. Ages 19-25 I worked as a pole dancer access to alcohol combined with weight bearing exercise got me to 118 in mostly muscle but also some fat. was still very much suffering from ED and took in most of my calories via yager bombs. I quite dancing after getting married to a controlling abusive piece of shit I feel into depression, become mentally unstable and my weight dropped down to 106. At 28 I started to suffer from memory issues, vomiting, lactation... etc etc. I went to the doctor and after blood work and MRIs found out I had a pituitary tumor. The least invasive treatment was to use human growth hormone to shrink the tumor. It worked but I gained 85 pounds over the course of 3 years (just over 190).
I really regret getting the treatment and despite no longer having a macroprolactinoma or the symptoms associated with it I hate what the treatment has made me.
I've lost 40 pounds since the treatment ended but I'm still faatter than I had ever been before. Frankly, I would rather have been institutionalized or dead than this fat. The weird thing is, my body image still hasn't adjusted. I have a sort of reverse body dismorphia... In my mind I'm still a size 0-4 even though I'm actually a 10. When I shop it's like there is a mental block I'll pick up a size 4 and take it to the dressing room but I won't be able to get it over my hips. I've had several breakdowns in dressing rooms due to this. I think that the change just happened so quickly that I feel like I'm living in a foreign body.
I left that aforementioned abusive asshole and now, I'm in a healthy relationship. He loves me fat and all but he keeps rubbing my fat, nasty, disgusting belly and every time he does it makes me remember how much I hate my body. I've told him to stop multiple times. I've told him that it makes me feel terrible and that I don't like it but he always seems to forget. We got in a huge fight about it last night. I don't think he'll do it again.
I'm just so frustrated because even though I've lost a bit of weight I still have so far to go and it's just not coming off. I've spent the morning looking for pills with ephedrine and the fabled "tape-worm pills", I've tried to think of people I might know who might have access to other things.. I don't care how I lose the weight I just want it to be gone so I can feel like I'm me again. Honestly, I have fantasized about just cutting the fat off but I know that's unrealistic because muscle tissue is intertwined and cutting off chunks of myself would result in a lack of mobility that would just lead to more fat. I feel stuck because if I didn't have such an amazing guy I would have probably just killed myself by now but I don't want to hurt him. So, I just have to keep hating what I am now and desperately restricting calories.
I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to not get the treatment. I have been through so much but this is the thing that bothers me the most and it scares me because what if I never do lose the weight? What if this is irrevocable damage and the tumor is what facilitated my size before.
Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry for the disjointed sob story. I just needed to get it off my chest.
[Rant/Rave] Iāve lost control of my body
/u/exhaustedstudent
Created: Tue Mar 27 10:55:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87k0yz/ive_lost_control_of_my_body/
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I saw a picture of myself today and was absolutely terrified and disgusted by how emaciated I look. I feel like I canāt see it as Cleary in the mirror but this was shocking. I donāt know what happened. I was keeping track of my weight with my doctor and it seemed to be settled around a BMI of 15-16 and I stopped monitoring it since I was aiming to get back up to 17-18 and didnāt want numbers to influence that progress, but I am sure now that itās dipped lower than I thought.
I guess I was scared of gaining too much too quickly and ended up restricting more just out of that fear, or from stress thatās been going on at home.
I am scared. It feels like my body is barely hanging on. I get weird pains all over the place, my hands and feet are always cold and tingling, my eyesight is fuzzy, my hair is falling out in clumps and now about half as thick as it should be, and I am waking up during the night from involuntary whole body muscle spasms.
But I donāt know what to do. A hospital will just have me sit around being fed and doing nothing.
If I try to take the same path that got me here back the other way will that work? Just gradually add back in the meals and foods Iāve been cutting out? I feel sick when I eat so many things now, I hate it. Iām scared something bad is going to happen...
[Intro] oh look a rambling intro post
/u/serketcircuit [5'6" | CW: Landwhale | They/Them]
Created: Tue Mar 27 10:24:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87jrsn/oh_look_a_rambling_intro_post/
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hey guys whats up ive been clean for three years and now im here
i guess the long and short of my whole story is ive always had a bad relationship with weight and shit, but eventually i made myself start restricting and lost 40 pounds or so and got myself underweight mostly just with that.
i got talked into recovery though, and its mostly been fine. lots of days ruined by triggers, lots of meals skipped because i just couldnt that day, but no full relapses. at least until now. ive been fucking plagued with relapse thoughts and the person who got me into recovery isnt around anymore
i have a group of online friends that care about me, who ive mostly kept my ed private from, and i dont want to like. freak out on them like i used to do with people. ive never been part of any ed community other than to just lurk, never even talked to anybody else with an ed, but i wanted to make sure i had a place to talk in case it gets out of control again
[Tip] Y'all. Applesauce is legit
/u/oceanblue10 [5'9''| 175| 24.66|UGW:110 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 27 09:13:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87j6ms/yall_applesauce_is_legit/
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Unsweetened applesauce cups! Only 50cal a cup! So many flavors! I got strawberry, granny Smith, and original right now! I think there were two more at the store but I thought buying 5 packs of applesauce would be a little ridiculous. I'm thinking of doing a mono diet using applesauce! I mean 10 little cups of it is only 500 calories! So excited yall.
[Discussion] DAE think sneakers are thin privilege?
/u/grossierus [5'6" | 120 | 19.4 | -120 | F23]
Created: Tue Mar 27 08:34:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87iw1x/dae_think_sneakers_are_thin_privilege/
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flair as rant/rave or discussion idc
I fucking love sneakers: the designs, the color palettes, the idea of looking Cool and Comfortable with just about any outfit. I can't walk into shoe stores without staring at the wall of sneakers trying to keep my hands from my wallet. Sometimes I slip up, and I go home with a fresh pair of Vans or Adidas or Sauconys.
But I can't wear them.
I plan a whole outfit or even numerous outfits around them, plan everything down to the underwear. I get fucking pumped up and put the outfit on on the chosen day. I go to put on the sneakers.
But I can't. I can't do it.
I love sneakers but when I wear them I see my legs for what they are: misshapen, lumpy. Cottage cheese in Saran Wrap. Even in jeans I feel like everyone can see my bulgy knees, my scarred ankles.
I leave my sneakers on the rack. I pick one of my many pairs of black booties or heels, so worn at the bottom I can feel every bump on the concrete beneath me, and I am off. Sad, defeated.
But at least my legs look nice.
At least, I think so.
[Rant/Rave] Tried a home remedy to purge and now regret even trying
/u/EvenRainbowsScream [4'11 | SW:117| CW:106 | GW:85 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 27 08:31:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87iv3e/tried_a_home_remedy_to_purge_and_now_regret_even/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is there a proED discord?
/u/Piikiita
Created: Tue Mar 27 07:59:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87imck/is_there_a_proed_discord/
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[Discussion] NYT article reporting research of low-carb vs. low-fat diets
/u/dotprinceton [5'3" | CW 103.6lb | BMI 18.86 | GW 92lb | 36F]
Created: Tue Mar 27 07:31:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ifce/nyt_article_reporting_research_of_lowcarb_vs/
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https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/26/upshot/what-we-know-and-dont-know-about-how-to-lose-weight.html
[Other] Nervosa
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Tue Mar 27 07:28:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ieqi/nervosa/
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https://i.redd.it/zu3in7cm5bo01.png
[Rant/Rave] SO caught me measuring š
/u/pm_me_ur_eyeholez [5'5" | -40 | GW: 107 | 26F]
Created: Tue Mar 27 07:22:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87idgv/so_caught_me_measuring/
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Rant/rave. I haven't lost a pound since March 8, I've just been cycling the same five pounds every, fucking, week. I figured I should take measurements this morning to see if there's been any movement on that front. No, of course there hasn't been because I'm a monster with no self control! This month fucking blows. As if seeing that my measurements confirm that I'm a human garbage can for shitty food wasn't good enough, while I had the tape wrapped around my fat, naked ass, practically willing it to be smaller, my fiance walked into the bathroom and said, "what are you doing?" And scared the shit out of me. I died internally. I told him I was just measuring bc that's just what I do (lol kill me) and he responded that I look good to him. He knows about my ED. he knows how despondent I get about my weight. I know he was trying to help and what he said was so sweet, but I'm mortified. He calls me on my behaviors in the most awkward ways, probably because he doesn't know what to do. Ughhhhh. /rant.
[Rant/Rave] I want to be revolting
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 125 | ugw: 98 | 17F | š: starvingprincess]
Created: Tue Mar 27 07:20:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ict0/i_want_to_be_revolting/
---
Iāve finally accepted the fact that I am objectively pretty but I donāt want to be anymore. I am so sick and tired of everyone I know having an ulterior motive to sleep with me. I donāt want to be pretty anymore, I want to starve myself until I just disgust people and no one would ever want to touch me. I want to be able to trust that people like me for me, not for my body. I donāt want my friends to only be friends with me because they want to have sex with me.
Sorry for the rant and Iām sorry for how conceited it may sound, but Iām in such distress over this.
[Goal] He kissed my collarbones.
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 104.4 | 19.8 | -16| F]
Created: Tue Mar 27 07:16:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ibtg/he_kissed_my_collarbones/
---
I've lost SIXTEEN POUNDS since February. From 120.4 to 104.4 How in the fuck did I do that? My stomach is still my problem area. It sticks out and its revolting convexness tell me I still have normal-weight obesity. But I have a thigh gap, and my shoulders, my shoulders are the stuff of gods. The way the light hits my skin and makes me look statuesque with the marbling of my veins. The way my collarbones jut out like ivory cliffs.
Last night my husband kissed my collarbones, ran his fingers down my ribcage, and told me I looked SO much better since I'd been working out. I've been to the gym only eleven times. It's not the workout, honey. It's the diet, and the fact that I've learned to keep my mouth shut in meatspace about my restriction. I think I've only mentioned my weight or calories or an aversion to food like 4 times IRL since February. So he doesn't know I'm obsessing. Back when I was 102, last year, I thought he hated my body. We would argue daily. "You're too thin! It's not healthy! You're sick!" The truth was he loved my body. The same body I'm carrying now. He hated my mind, the obsessing. He hated the fact that I refused to go out to eat with him and had a panic attack when he'd try to take me anywhere. He hated the fact that I'd weigh myself in front of him six times a day. He hated the fact that I was unable to talk about anything but calories. Now I've grown a little stronger, and I can mostly hide that from him. Now I weigh myself once, in the morning before he wakes up. Now I've suggested we don't eat out for the month of March because "we need to save money." Now I'm into the Sims 3 and watching my 600-pound-life and he watches it with me. He said last night that he's grateful I'm skinny and not like them. Now he can love my thinness just like I do.
[Discussion] Does anyone eat in the morning but not in the evening?
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [š5'5|110|GW:100š]
Created: Tue Mar 27 07:11:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87iamj/does_anyone_eat_in_the_morning_but_not_in_the/
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I really want to start doing this because I hate waking up feeling bloated from the night before. I just get scared that I will eat in the morning, come home, and then eat more and feel like I ruined the day.
I'm tired of coming home and thinking about food.
[Help] Help, I can't stop binging!
/u/toriaponte12
Created: Tue Mar 27 07:00:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87i7vl/help_i_cant_stop_binging/
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Idk what to do. I keep binging and binging and I don't even purge after or chew and spit. I just want and eat and eat and I can't stop. I'm a 5'8 female and I used to be at 125 bc I ate nothing and now I'm about to be over 140...help. how do i stop, how do ibreduce my appetite, how do i regain control?
[Help] overwhelmed by my body, feel like i canāt even leave my dorm room! suggestions for managing?
/u/funfettie
Created: Tue Mar 27 06:25:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87hz9e/overwhelmed_by_my_body_feel_like_i_cant_even/
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hi everyone!
iām a healthy weight after a long time of being underweight, and it SUCKS. i know that i still look small, but i just tried on my favorite pair of jeans that i had in the back of my closet and of course, they didnāt fit me. they were pretty tight around the thighs and butt.
iām in college and lately iām missing a ton of class due to just feeling too ashamed of my body to let anyone see me. and iām not going to do well in my classes because of it, i can feel it.
how do you guys deal with getting up out of bed and getting dressed and going out when you absolutely hate your body? do you have any tips that have helped you? or just any comforting words?
hope youāre all doing okay :)
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday March 27, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 27 06:11:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87hw3o/thinspo_tuesday_march_27_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 27, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 27 06:11:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87hw2a/daily_food_diary_march_27_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 27, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Eating too little?
/u/Ikwileenpony
Created: Tue Mar 27 06:01:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87htmi/eating_too_little/
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Sooo my dietician told me that I need to up my kcal to lose weight?
My DTEE is 1500 kcal and I'm eating 1200 kcal. I can work out due to auto imune illness - the new meds make me dizzy all the time.
How on earth is eating 200 kcal MORE is going to make me lose weight? She said my body is in starvation mode - but the scale disagrees.
How?
Support
/u/Ash_lmb
Created: Tue Mar 27 04:27:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87hbnm/support/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Halo top is ruined
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:114lbs | GW: 112lbs | -25 lbs | F20]
Created: Tue Mar 27 04:08:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87h8c0/halo_top_is_ruined/
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They upped the calorie counts on nearly all pints :(
My favorites were plain vanilla, chocolate, and mint chip because they tasted good AND they were 240 cals per pint.... Now they are 280-320 each :(
WHY!! They tasted so perfect already
brb gonna go cry more
[Rant/Rave] I gained weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 27 02:22:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87gr9f/i_gained_weight/
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[deleted]
Alcoholism and eating disorders seem to go hand in hand
/u/theloveoflordjesus
Created: Tue Mar 27 02:05:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87gogt/alcoholism_and_eating_disorders_seem_to_go_hand/
---
https://i.redd.it/2w5c5uv0k9o01.png
[Discussion] DAE feel like their weight is weird?
/u/Indigobeet [162cm | 62kg | 24.3 | 0 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 27 01:58:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87gn99/dae_feel_like_their_weight_is_weird/
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Sorry for the somewhat misleading title. Does anyone else feel like their weight is too high for how a person their size looks? I sometimes lurk on progress pic subreddits and look for girls with similar stats to mine, and I feel like I don't look like that in pics, if that makes sense? As in I weigh more but my measurements are smaller (basically I'm more dense?). I used to lift weight for quite a few years with breaks in between but I have always maintained a relatively high protein diet.
Is this possible or is my brain making me be in denial about how I look.
Basically, I still feel big objectively but not as big as my weight would suggest. Anyone feel the same way?
[Discussion] The entire base of my ED is a desperate need for control. What if instead of trying so hard to control every calorie and catastrophically falling apart when I eat one tiny thing wrong, I focused on gaining body and muscle control?
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Tue Mar 27 00:48:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87gc6w/the_entire_base_of_my_ed_is_a_desperate_need_for/
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Every day I wake up unhappy with my body. I really, truly hate it. And I know the mind set most of us have is that once we reach that weight, that absolutely perfect weight, our lives will change dramatically for the better.
But with all this binging, restricting, crying, panicking, and self hatred Iāve realized that the body I see at the end of this tunnel isnāt the perfect dainty flower I want it to be, itās a weak, painful, miserable body.
Do you ever think about what your body is truly capable of?
I am sitting here right now completely self aware of how weak my arms are, and this might sound crazy but my ankles are so fragile and weak, despite me being over weight. I am not flexible, I cannot do hand stands, I cannot bend and twist.
I think my new super obsession is yoga and flexibility and strong. Not like ripped by any means, but gently toned.
My thinspo has shifted from bonespo, to watching yoga videos and seeing this beautiful dainty women effortlessly fold themselves in half, lift into impossible handstands and poses, and it looks so serene and perfect.
Thatās the control I need in my life. If I focus more on fitness goals, a better push up, a deeper stretch, strength in my arms, that will be the control I so desperately want and need.
I dream of posting pictures on Instagram of me in tiny shorts and a sports bra, lifting my small tight body into impressive poses.
I dream of a happier, mentally strong me.
[Discussion] The entire base of my ED is a need for control, and I focus that in calories and food which causes me to panic and fall apart when I eat one wrong thing. But what if I shifted to having body and muscle control? What if I focus on what my body can DO, not what it looks like?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 27 00:46:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87gboi/the_entire_base_of_my_ed_is_a_need_for_control/
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[deleted]
[Help] Rebuilding my thinspo collection
/u/tjking333 [5'3ft š® CW:126lb š® BMI:22 š® -40lb š® GW:100 š® 21F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 23:56:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87g2wb/rebuilding_my_thinspo_collection/
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I recently lost my phone which had about four years worth of thinspo saved on it. I'd appreciate it if any of you could share some of your favorite pics/albums.
I'm not picky anything goes, but I have a specific proclivity towards stuff for short girls.
Thanks a bunch in advance.
[Help] I could really just use a hug.
/u/deadlylikesugar
Created: Mon Mar 26 23:42:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87g0i1/i_could_really_just_use_a_hug/
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And Iām not even a hugger......lol. Please excuse the pathetic, self-loathing rant that follows. I have a million and one thoughts racing through my mind right now and I really just need a place to vent. I genuinely feel like Iām on the verge of a massive break down.
I have relapsed. Iāve been successfully (for the most part) restricting since about October and Iām down about 20 lbās. (For context: Iām 5ā7 & went from 145ish to now 124ish) Itās not the first time Iāve been here.
(please excuse how dramatic Iām about to sound, lol) I am severely depressed and tbh, I love my ED because itās the only thing that is currently giving me any sense of control and the little will that I have to continue.
Lately, I have been having such severe anxiety that I feel like if Iām unable to crawl out of my own skin Iām going to combust. Anxiety and I are no strangers by any means, but this is by far the worst it has ever been. I want to scream. I want to cry. But instead, I just continue to hold it all inside pretending like everythingās fine to the outside world.
I donāt know how much longer I can keep up the charade. I have absolutely zero motivation to do anything. Iām currently a (pathetic excuse of a) full time student with a part time job. I am failing 3/4 of my classes. I am making very, VERY little income, but donāt even care enough to try harder. Even if I did feel motivated, I wouldnāt have the energy to carry anything out. I have increasingly severe brain fog and my body constantly aches. I have increasingly worse social anxiety and wish, on the daily, that I could just isolate myself from everyone without having to perform any self care. I donāt want to kill myself exactly, I just want to become so thin that I somehow disappear.
On top of this, I am planning my wedding - a time that is supposed to be one of the happiest - yet it has only made me more depressed. It has reminded me how embarrassed I am that I have 0 close friends (a thought that I often try to avoid, which has now become painfully relevant).
I *thought* I was at an all time low with my depression, anxiety, and ED (all things Iāve struggled with for 15+ years) until I recently discovered that my fiancĆ© regularly watches porn. I know, trivial, but itās absolutely tearing my, obviously insecure, ass apart. Mind you, I make myself ridiculously available to him at all times, due to my insecurities and fear that he may watch porn/stray if I donāt. Learning that this has happened anyway, despite my efforts, is killing me. The realization that he, knowing that he can have me at any time, regularly opts for porn instead, is making me want to starve myself into a coma.
My chest and heart physically aches from the pain of this discovery. Like, deep down I know that Iām being stupid and that this shouldnāt bother me as much as it does - that itās my own insecurities and that he hasnāt done anything wrong..... but, it doesnāt make it hurt any less.
Although I realize my post screams āattention seekingā, I genuinely am not putting any of this out there to seek sympathy or concern - again, just really needed to vent. I am so pathetic, sad, and hopeless and could just *really* use some words of encouragement before I completely crumble.
I canāt thank you all enough for letting this be a safe place. I sincerely love you guys and wish everyone the best. ā¤ļø
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone have a large chest or have their chest as a big insecurity?
/u/keekaroo [5'2 | CW 120 | GW 100 | 20 F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 23:36:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87fzmh/does_anyone_have_a_large_chest_or_have_their/
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I've always had a large chest, and my friends would always laugh about how unproportionate I was, as in 110 and a 32DDD. Everyone always said they were jealous, but I hate them, even more so now.
I gained 20 pounds in college, anddddd that made me gain 4-5 cup sizes. I'm now a 32J. This growth is excessive, and even though I've lost weight, they haven't gone back to their previous size.
I really like how my stomach is starting to look, but I can't stand my chest. I look like a whale in loose shirts, I look like a slut in form fitting shirts, they're not perky because they're heavy, and they're honestly just ridiculous. I can't take pictures because I hate how they make me look. I hate wearing swimsuits, no matter how happy I am with my legs, stomach, anything.
I hate it because no matter how much I lose from restricting, nothing changes in my chest. I feel like I'll never be happy and I'll be 95 pounds still trying to lose 10 more and 10 more and 10 more to get rid of their ridiculous size. My friends used to always say they were jealous of me, and they now literally just say "I'm sorry." They poke them, use them as pillows, etc. and it makes me just feel fat and fluffy.
Has anyone ever experienced something similar? I know my size is excessive (and honestly should probably see a doctor), but regardless, my boobs are my second biggest insecurity with my body and weight. Just wanted to rant and maybe find others feeling the same.
[Rant/Rave] Fasting. Food is an addiction and Iām done with binging
/u/frida569 [163 cm | 74 kg | 15 kg | female]
Created: Mon Mar 26 22:41:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87fpl8/fasting_food_is_an_addiction_and_im_done_with/
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[removed]
Kittens = cute helpers when it comes to fast food
/u/Nootbee
Created: Mon Mar 26 22:40:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87fpd6/kittens_cute_helpers_when_it_comes_to_fast_food/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Body Dysmorphia Causing Injury?
/u/cry_bvby
Created: Mon Mar 26 22:23:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87fmc9/body_dysmorphia_causing_injury/
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So I have struggled with anorexia for 5 years now, in and out of recovery through this time but at the moment I am able to eat mostly okay just with behaviours/anxieties that others wouldn't consider normal and maintain at my lowest healthy BMI. I have recently begun yoga and found that my knees are hyperextended, which is an injury that causes my knees to bend backwards - making my knees weak and painful. They haven't always been like this and I was trying to figure out what made them this way when I realised that my body dysmorphia made me constantly want to put my body in unnatural positions to compensate for the anxiety of how it looked and in particular, pushing my legs back. Has anyone else developed injuries like this for the same reasons?
I've been eating for 5 hours straight
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | CW oops | GW 93lbs | š inconceivable ]
Created: Mon Mar 26 22:02:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87fi2r/ive_been_eating_for_5_hours_straight/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] SOS need tips to lose bloat fast!!
/u/goldielexxx
Created: Mon Mar 26 22:01:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87fhv4/sos_need_tips_to_lose_bloat_fast/
---
First of all hi everyone! Iām a lurker here but finally decided to post because iām struggling :(. I was doing so well with my fasting and restriction but today I royally fucked up. I woke up and felt sick and binged a little for breakfast and that just spiraled into a full blown biggest binge iāve ever had. I feel sick to my stomach and literally ate 6000 calories today... 6000 CALORIES!!! Iām going on vacation on friday does anyone have any tips on how to quickly lose all the bloating I just gave myself :( I really donāt want to look puffy and like a fat whale on vacation. thanks guys š xx
[Discussion] triggers?
/u/2011to2018
Created: Mon Mar 26 21:54:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87fghw/triggers/
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iāve found, at least for me, that things people would normally consider triggers arenāt really what sends me off restricting again. like:
- trying on pants that are too small
- comments from others
- seeing an increase on the scale
- etc.
these things seem like ātriggersā in the like, traditional sense? or i guess, theyāre what people would assume triggers a relapse. but like, my biggest triggers are things like getting sick & losing my appetite, hearing others talk about losing weight, seeing my safe foods at the store, seeing someone else eat my safe foods, etc.
what are some of your biggest triggers?
tl;dr: i feel like what people generally consider triggers donāt actually trigger restriction relapse. what kinds of things trigger you?
[Rant/Rave] (NSFW)(tmi) my boyfriend left to BMT and was confused when he came back..
/u/Slippingonbananas [5'3 | 140 | ?? | 20 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 21:41:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87fdqe/nsfwtmi_my_boyfriend_left_to_bmt_and_was_confused/
---
Soooo my boyfriend left to basic training for the air force and while he was away i relapsed :( binged/purged and because of this my gag reflex went away and Iām having a hard time even making myself throw up lately. Well Iāve never been the best at deepthroating, and the day I finally saw him and gave him a BJ he freaked out because I went down and didnāt gag or anything. He was all suspicious and I felt bad, but didnāt want to tell him about my relapse and worry him more. Proud of myself for how good I am now but upset that I freaked him out.. ugh fuck you EDš
[Rant/Rave] Disgusted by myself
/u/aisha7 [5'2'' | CW 141 | BMI 26.72| + 24 lbs | 17F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 21:36:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87fcsu/disgusted_by_myself/
---
TLDR at the bottom
Over the summer of 2017 I went through a big breakup and I dropped 10 pounds from 127 to 117. I lost so much weight and I was so happy and skinny and I had friends and I went out. I was restricting to 800 net calories and I ran every weekday.
After Thanksgiving I decided I would stop restricting as much and try "intuitive eating" and I stopped running completely. Initially, it started with allowing myself to eat dessert, but that quickly turned into second helpings and entire pints of ice cream. Over Christmas I ate half a tray of brownies because I thought it would make me happy. I weighed myself at around 134 and I decided to make a change.
When the New Year started I decided to go to the gym and live a "healthy" lifestyle without counting. Oh fucking boy. I binged on smoothies and granola and oatmeal and bananas. I started lifting weights and I told myself my 7 pound weight gain now is from muscle gains.
Today I looked at myself in the mirror. I look disgusting. There are rolls everywhere and I can see my fatty cellulite on my fucking arms. My double chin is growing. My waist is 32 inches. My cheeks are fucking jiggling. I am OVERWEIGHT.
I'm so fucking disgusted by myself and my fat fucking stomach.
I'm currently on Spring Break staying with my family and being forced to ear, but the minute I get back home I'm starting to run again and eating 500 kcals. I cannot stand this fucking fat.
TLDR;; Lost weight on 800. Decided to maintain/recover, binged my way up to an overweight BMI. Will begin 500 per day ASAP.
[Discussion] What do you do about clothes
/u/slip_n_slice
Created: Mon Mar 26 21:24:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87fa50/what_do_you_do_about_clothes/
---
I'm a guy so maybe it differs for you girl, but I don't necessarily want people to be noticing too much weight loss again. But I've been wearing my baggiest clothes so I still look regular but nothing really fits anymore.
What do yall do?
[Rant/Rave] I joined a gym today...
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5ā11ā | 140 | | 75| Gender]
Created: Mon Mar 26 21:21:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87f9pv/i_joined_a_gym_today/
---
Mostly because I just got a job at Trader Joeās (I already work at Target so this will be on top of that) and they said I would be doing a lot of heavy lifting. The gym guy asked me a lot of surprisingly detailed questions about my fitness goals, health, etc. The guy asked how much I ate and when I told him, he said āthatās not enough...ā Iāll also be meeting with a nutritionist. Iām somewhat hopeful because my sister has an ED as well (is also on this sub sometimes and sheās the one who told me about it) and she said that lifting was the only thing that helped her at all because it shifted her focus onto being stronger instead of losing weight all the time. I was matched with a personal trainer and I may actually lose a couple pounds while gaining muscle (not a lot though). Eating healthy, and eating enough, will be my biggest challenge I think. I donāt eat enough protein. I donāt eat enough, period. Some days I eat 2 meals, some days 1, some days none at all. Iām gonna have to change that and itās gonna be hard but Iāve been through worse lol. Excited but nervous.
[Rant/Rave] The water weight... Ughhhhh...
/u/Startled_Butterfly [5'5" | CW 121 | 20.3 | GW 108 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 21:10:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87f7d6/the_water_weight_ughhhhh/
---
So yesterday I was diagnosed with a kidney infection and it must be pretty crappy because I've barely been able to pee and as a result am retaining all sorts of water. I've gained 3 lbs since Sunday. I cannot wait for these antibiotics to sort me out because I've been doing really well lately and I deserve to see some loss by now.
My brain right now: we're not losing weight, everything we're doing is pointless, drink another Dr Pepper. In fact, finish the spaghetti in the fridge. Our stomach is angry and we must appease it because obviously it's suffering for nothing.
Rational part of my brain: Just wait a little longer and the water will go away, and if you mess it up now you'll never know how much you could have lost this week.
[Discussion] Do you ever eat anything after purging and not purge it back up?
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Mon Mar 26 18:32:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87e6nk/do_you_ever_eat_anything_after_purging_and_not/
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I try not to eat anything after a purge but sometimes I will be starving, like today. I sometimes eat something but always feel guilty and try to purge it back up. Does anyone purge but then resume normal eating throughout the day?
[Rant/Rave] [RANT/RAVE] TW as fuck: āObesity: The Post Mortemā doc on netflix
/u/elm318
Created: Mon Mar 26 18:24:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87e4ji/rantrave_tw_as_fuck_obesity_the_post_mortem_doc/
---
They cut open a dead obese person, show you all the fat and health complications.
If youāre into that. I kind of like that I have that imagery now.
Have yāall watched it? What do you think?
[Rant/Rave] I want to be tiny
/u/WaitingForHealing
Created: Mon Mar 26 17:45:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87duy0/i_want_to_be_tiny/
---
I want to be so tiny I can get any guy I want.
I want to eat 500-1000 calories a day but then I want to eat gobs of Chinese food...
The only way to avoid food is to literally buy the junk; portion out what I want; and toss the rest. If I keep it I can't control myself.
I said I'd eat one McDonald's breakfast sandwich now and save the other for tomorrow morning. I said if I couldn't handle that I'd toss it. Ate 'em both. WTF. WHYYYYY
I want Chinese. I am gonna go over my calorie budget if I eat ANYTHING. SO, I say... "Ok, let's make our own chinese!" I look for my zero calorie noodles... roomie tossed them. WHAT. THE. FUUUUUUCKKK.
Ok, I'm probly gonna cave and eat Chinese. Tomorrow I am doing 500 a day. My life is sucking right now so I bet it'll be easy.
kthnxbye
[Rant/Rave] Purged on a walk
/u/Niht_tnoucca
Created: Mon Mar 26 16:47:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87dgow/purged_on_a_walk/
---
First post long timer lurker.
Was meant to be in recovery, my SO was the main force behind that. Told them I was thinking about this stuff again, said they werenāt a psychologist and couldnāt help me. Theyāre normally really supportive, so I know Iām probably driving them to the edge.
Went on a walk after dinner (the only meal I canāt skip), grabbed one of those dog waste bags and went into a nearby creek. It was pretty unsuccessful but now I know a safe place to do it.
But god the guilt is already starting.
[Rant/Rave] Sorry not sorry! (Coworker Diet Sabotage)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 26 16:32:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87dcu5/sorry_not_sorry_coworker_diet_sabotage/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Itās the little things.
/u/kkardash [5'5" | CW: thic | GW: 110 | -16 | 20F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 14:48:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87cksv/its_the_little_things/
---
I work at a ketonic diet clinic, and one of my clients came in and said āOh youāre so slim, youād never have to be on this diet!ā
Iām balls deep into a 3 days fast and Iām officially on cloud nine right now. These past few weeks have been hectic with exams and projects and work and binge-avoidance and it seemed like the world knew I needed to hear that.
Itās just crazy to think that sheāll never know how much that one sentence meant to me.
[Help] Can't stop mini binges
/u/KEEENWHAA [5'6" | CW 64kg | BMI 22.7 | GW 57kg | F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 14:37:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87chkl/cant_stop_mini_binges/
---
I keeping buying chocolate and high calorie foods, telling myself I'll just have a bad calorie day, then eating past the point of fullness and feeling sick. Once all food is gone I feel horrible guilt and have to purge it. I don't want to purge but I don't want to be fat either and I can't stop eating so much. This is new, I started a few months ago just every so often but now I've done it 3 times in a week. I'm not skinny, if I tell anyone they will think I'm making it up. I want to be thin so much but something switches in my brain and just wants to shovel crap in my face.
I also have coeliac/celiac disease making a lot of bad food off limits so when I find something bad I CAN eat, I go mental and eat the entire box/packet/batch/cake.
I have a few other health problems (joints, muscles) that stop me from over exercising instead of purging :(
Thank you for listening. I can't tell anyone. You guys are so understanding.
[Tip] Emotional/binge eating success
/u/mrsbrandauer
Created: Mon Mar 26 14:30:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87cfaf/emotionalbinge_eating_success/
---
First post ever on Reddit. I've been struggling with emotional eating and binge eating since early teens. Lately I've been seeing a therapist and have been working to improve myself emotionally, my self image, etc. But emotional eating has been a struggle. It's been years now, and i think I've finally figured out what helps me cope, and its pretty simple.
When i come home from work, my stress level is pretty high, naturally. Im in a go go go mood. After figuring out different methods for dealing with my anxiety, none of them worked permanently, just for a few minutes. Hot tea, Hot shower, a bath, exercise, soothing music, comedy. I'd end up still binge eating immediately after or during it all! So after talking it through with some friends and my spouse, they recommended I just take a nap immediately when I get home. And i thought nap?? Impossible. But you don't have to nap.
Being in my blankets, pillows, smelling good from a fresh shower and curled up with my phone is enough to make me feel safe. I thought I'd be too hungry or thinking about food cravings to do this, but I don't! I feel relaxed. It's like putting me in a little hamster den where no one can touch me and i can just feel warm. It may sound like a no duh moment to others, but for my high anxiety selfI rarely give myself any quiet time at all.
Protip: shower, curl up in bed for an hour! It's comforting and the easiest thing I've found that works.
[Help] My friend has anorexia, can you help me help him?
/u/M0nkey_D_Luffy_1111
Created: Mon Mar 26 14:27:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ceeo/my_friend_has_anorexia_can_you_help_me_help_him/
---
Hiya,
My friend has anorexia. The dude's just gone through two breakups, within a week (months ago, but the scars are lingering), and is coming into school with swollen purple eyes and shit. He's just managed to push through out of what's basically a suicide diet but has regressed for FOUR days. He remarked that his first piece of food was with me and another friend in the canteen today, and it's an 80-cal bag of popcorn. I dunno how to relate to the guy, other then my binge eating habits that I conceal better then I should. Can any of you guys/gals give me some advice for this, 'cause the guy is SUFFERING, and I dunno how to help.
[Discussion] Anybody else???
/u/runawaythrowaway47
Created: Mon Mar 26 14:27:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ce9d/anybody_else/
---
So, currently in a phase of BINGE BINGE BINGE BINGE BINGE like a fucking maniac. I'll do good asf all day but when dinner rolls around.... man I'm like "fuck this". I have been doing that since friday and it's Monday -_-. I bought 3 donuts on impulse, ate one, chewed and spat another and gave one away. They were low quality and weren't even fucking worth it. Also bought chips, whale crackers, and chocolate on impulse but I gave the chocolate away. So lord help me, how do I get out of this cycle!?!?
Fasting weight loss?
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"|SW:252|CW:221| -31| GW:112| HW:294|27F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 14:24:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87cdi3/fasting_weight_loss/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] awful experience just now
/u/illendmylife [114lbs | gw 100lbs | f]
Created: Mon Mar 26 14:04:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87c7fq/awful_experience_just_now/
---
i'm trying not to purge anymore but a few nights ago i had a bag of chips and it made me very constipated (idk why) so i've been restricting with 300cal a day and no carbs waiting to be able to use the restroom. but i have no laxatives so i decided to eat pickles (and may too much antacid but idk if that did anything) expecting it to help me go. NO. i was starting a binge again and had sudden diarrhea (while i was wearing my favorite panties too) and i'm STILL constipated afterwards. my stomach was hurting so bad i purged everything up. the cherry on top lol. my face got splashed by toilet water. and spit all over myself. i feel absolutely disgusted at myself.
[Other] This song. (āEdā)
/u/qu1et1
Created: Mon Mar 26 13:58:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87c5r6/this_song_ed/
---
https://youtu.be/xAMj9p_kVqE
[Discussion] does anyone else here not have an eating disorder, but finds reading posts here beneficial?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 26 13:53:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87c41v/does_anyone_else_here_not_have_an_eating_disorder/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Stuck at 140.
/u/oriamB [5'6 | CW 135? | GW 120 | always fluctuating | F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 13:30:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87bxko/stuck_at_140/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Water retention?
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F 23]
Created: Mon Mar 26 13:15:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87bt53/water_retention/
---
This week I discovered the joys of hot sauce + baked cauliflower, but I think it's causing an issue that makes the ridiculously low calorie count not worth it.
As of last night, I'm having the worst case of water bloat in my entire life. I got my period today, so of course that plays a part, but I am so jiggly and puffy; even my EYELIDS are swollen. My thighs and stomach literally look like a waterbed being slapped, lol. When I press on my arm and thigh with 2 fingers, an indentation is left for about 30 seconds, including a light spot the size of the fingers. I could hardly get my ring off (which is usually able to be comfortably removed) to take a shower! Even my skin hurts. I haven't had this bruised, tender feeling since I was on prednisone as a child.
This is beyond period bloat. Could extra veggies + obscene amounts of hot sauce be causing this? I went to a birthday party yesterday and had half a slice of cake and about half a slice of pizza, but usually that amounts to minimal bloat. It's a rather large volume of veggies....kinda went overboard bc I was so excited to find foods that 1: I like, and 2: are satisfying.
Anyone else have this experience? Any home remedies I should try? When should I expect this to subside?
Thank you ā¤
[Discussion] Teas for different effects
/u/nodamnchill
Created: Mon Mar 26 12:50:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87bm6k/teas_for_different_effects/
---
What teas do you drink to lose weight, boost metabolism, absorb fat, etc.? Iām currently drinking white and green, but what else do you recommend? Iām also looking into BaeTea.
[Help] Is there a calorie counting app that doesn't require me lying?
/u/Deathscua [5'2"| F | GW: 85]
Created: Mon Mar 26 12:40:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87bj39/is_there_a_calorie_counting_app_that_doesnt/
---
I am currently using LOSEIT app on IOS and I have to lie to the app and say I'm 4'9" in order to lower the calories needed per day to less than 1099. Which is a little annoying actually. Before when I put my actual height 5'3" i would go over on accident because I would eat within those calories the app gave me which is waaaay too many. I think it was 1500.
[Discussion] Does anyone else spend all day trying to figure out how to "fix" their food stuff and then get overwhelmed and ultimately just decide to keep restricting?
/u/chocoooomuffin [5'9" | CW 158 | GW 123 | -30 lbs | 24F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 12:34:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87bhd3/does_anyone_else_spend_all_day_trying_to_figure/
---
I would absolutely love to have a normal relationship with food where I eat an appropriate amount of calories for my activity level and maintain a healthy weight for my height. But for whatever reason I can't do it, so I spent today trying to figure out what the healthiest diet would be (vegan? paleo? don't call it anything and just eat lots of whole foods?), binged and purged twice out of stress, and then finally decided to just restrict because at least I know that works for weight loss. I'm choosing being thin over being healthy for about the thousandth time, and the saddest part is it rarely works. I keep coming back to it because when it does work it's amazing.
[Help] Resenting my bf for "sabotaging" my efforts...
/u/dreaminginscience [5'6" | CW139| GW130 | BMI22 | 23F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 12:32:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87bgp4/resenting_my_bf_for_sabotaging_my_efforts/
---
So, I met my boyfriend when I was still chubby and my weight loss journey was *just* beginning (about 1.5 years ago). We started off very casual, fwb type of thing so he really never knew my history with ED and had no idea I was in the throes of it at the time. Now that we're in a committed relationship, he's a little more enlightened and definitely knows I have food issues just from seeing it first hand. But I know he doesn't think its alarming or near as serious as it probably is because 1. I'm not underweight and 2. he can see I'm really happy about my weight loss. Any way, lately he's been really bad about enabling me to eat like shit with him. He's gotten a little better since I've asked him to stop, but I know it's still mostly an afterthought for him. He just doesn't get how detrimental weight gain would be to my mental health right now and he also doesn't know what it's like to have a metabolism that can't handle 3 packs of candy and a pint of ice cream a day, he's fit as fuck. ANYWAY, the last time I ballooned and gained a ton of weight it was because I was in a relationship and dealt with all the same issues. HELP. Besides having a serious talk with him, which I intend to do, how can *I* take back control and avoid letting this relationship sabotage my weight loss efforts? How do you manage to keep your relationship fun and care free despite your ED? Some weeks its easy to avoid the temptation but others I feel powerless and I definitely don't want to ask my partner to change his diet for my benefit.
[Rant/Rave] Unexpected downside of someone complementing you on weight loss
/u/xwer15 [5'5| 127 | -32|GW:105| F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 11:15:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87atzs/unexpected_downside_of_someone_complementing_you/
---
I'm away at college in a different state. Needles to say I don't go home often. I've been restricting heavily since about October and have lost a decent amount of weight. I don't see it but that's what the scale says.
I went home for spring break last week and saw lots of people I haven't seen in months and a few of them complimented me and said I looked like I had lost weight. These compliments made me feel good for about .03 seconds before I realized that if they think I look better now and I still hate how I look, I must have looked even worse than I though before.
I'm not sure if that makes sense but honestly it just makes me feel worse. I also never know what to say when someone says I've lost weight. I don't wanna lie and deny it but I also don't wanna say I'm trying to lose weight and raise suspicion. The end result is usually me awkwardly smiling and mumbling something that's definitely not a language as I internally sweat
[Tip] Starbucks low cal coffee tip
/u/cuttoarose
Created: Mon Mar 26 11:10:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87aspk/starbucks_low_cal_coffee_tip/
---
Hello lovelies. On a typical trip to Starbucks I usually enjoy a Hot Tall Skinny Vanilla Latte which averages to about 120-140 calories give or take. Not bad for a sweet warm beverage. However, I have discovered that a regular hot coffee with some half/half AND some of the vanilla powder they have near the sugar tastes soooo similar to the latte. Also way less calorically dense. The latte is still really delicious and I'll still get it now and then, but the reg coffee with vanilla powder is cheaper and less cals. Try it out next time!
Edit: These are all awesome idea thanks for sharing!!
[Tip] pro-tip
/u/cuttoarose
Created: Mon Mar 26 11:07:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87arr0/protip/
---
I'm not much of a laxatives gal but if the coffee from Einsteins Brothers Bagels isn't a guaranteed digestive solution I don't know what is. Seriously I get one hot coffee from them and it does the trick EVERY TIME. Coffee is kind of already a go to for most people who need to poop but for some crazy reason I feel like Einsteins coffee just works better.
[Help] Seeing a cabaret tonight with a $25 food/beverage minimum - Help! What do I get? I don't drink alcohol and I don't eat meat
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 10:41:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ak4e/seeing_a_cabaret_tonight_with_a_25_foodbeverage/
---
https://54below.com/events/54-sings-heathers/
[Help] Im new, looking for advice and stuff
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 26 10:32:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ahmy/im_new_looking_for_advice_and_stuff/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ahmy/im_new_looking_for_advice_and_stuff/
I'm on fluoxetine and still gain weight
/u/notyourpeach
Created: Mon Mar 26 10:31:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87ahac/im_on_fluoxetine_and_still_gain_weight/
---
[removed]
[Help] How do I trigger my whoosh?
/u/myrtlewils0n [cw:118 ā¾ gw1:115 ā¾ ugw:108]
Created: Mon Mar 26 09:43:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87a3b8/how_do_i_trigger_my_whoosh/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why anxiety?
/u/WhydidIdothistomyslf
Created: Mon Mar 26 09:43:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87a39s/why_anxiety/
---
I bought bronkaid from cvs. I've done it before (it's been a few months though) so I have no idea why I panicked. The pharmacist asked if I'd taken it before and I immediately said no. But then I back tracked because they scan your license and all that and I didn't want like my purchase history to be different than what I just said so I was like "I've gotten it for my mom before and have taken one or two of the doses" and she kind of looked at me weird. She still sold it to me though (but now I'm so anxious I don't even want it anymore) and now I am worried that she is going to like call the DEA or something and I'm going to go to jail for buying bronkaid and lying to the pharmacist on accident.
Tldr:my anxiety has once again fucked me over
[Other] [Other] The label says zero sugar but it's the colour of the regular coke... Is it just me or is that stressful af?
/u/pikapika350
Created: Mon Mar 26 09:36:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87a1b1/other_the_label_says_zero_sugar_but_its_the/
---
https://imgur.com/wTxWUMH
[Rant/Rave] Officially flunked out of college
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 26 09:23:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/879xt6/officially_flunked_out_of_college/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] What do you think about when you feel hungry?
/u/throwmeinthetrash08
Created: Mon Mar 26 09:21:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/879x48/what_do_you_think_about_when_you_feel_hungry/
---
I have not eaten yet today and I am getting that empty, hungry pain in my stomach. I feel so empty! What do you think about when these feelings start? How do you avoid eating or avoid eating too much? I'm scared to eat because I am restricting right now and I am scared once I start I won't stop eating. I don't feel powerful or in control of my eating,
I feel both mentally and physically weak. This just sucks!
[Other] My new found love
/u/runawaythrowaway47
Created: Mon Mar 26 08:34:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/879k9b/my_new_found_love/
---
So, uh I have fell down a rabbit hole of low cal vegan AMAZING RECIPIESSSSSS. This channel has officially got me FUCKED up because my life has now changed and I might be in love with this person. (exaggeration!!!). Who knew that you could eat vegan low calorie junk food? I sure as fuck didn't.. like wth. I feel like a newbie cause I haven't done this earlier... but, I will share my new found love with you all because they are a GOD SEND.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRISULX5zfNR4VBOfZgevmw/videos
You have to scroll a bit down in their channel cause they switched their content up a bit but that's ok cause once u water one video... you're suddenly watching them all even if you aren't making them...
UPDATE!
Ok, so I tried the pasta one and OMGGGGG that shit was AMAZING! My grandmother didn't like it though lmao but it's because it had too much salt for her. (You can add as much salt as u want) I tasted it and can I just tell you... I am never gonna eat regular pasta again. It was quicker and healthier plus low in calories. I just had to boil the water, and then put them in and in like 1-3 minutes once they float, they are done! It stuck to themselves like real pasta and everything. The only thing that wasn't like regular pasta was the color. It's exactly like whole wheat pasta.
[Rant/Rave] It's like even my body is against recovery
/u/PhoneWalletSanity [156cm/5'1.5 |88.4 lbs|16.5|-20 |18F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 08:17:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/879fj6/its_like_even_my_body_is_against_recovery/
---
So I've been spending the last week consuming at maintenance but somehow, in the last two days, I've gone up by 4 lbs.
I know it's not water weight because I've been drinking water throughout the day and I don't think it could be, ahem, waste because I've been pretty regular about that too.
Restricting back to where I was before is so insanely tempting... The first step in my recovery plan was to maintain and that's not happening so I'm freaking out.
Does anybody know what's going on? I'm low key fighting to urge to not eat for the rest of the day after my workout.
[Tip] I made an on-the-go fasting preparedness kit! Here's what's in it.
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 108.6 | 20.1 | -12 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 07:51:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8798ks/i_made_an_onthego_fasting_preparedness_kit_heres/
---
So, fasting and I have never gotten along. I ADORE what fasting does for my weekly calorie intake but I hate what it does to my stomach, my energy, and my general well-being. You name it, fasting can do it to me. Heartburn, headaches, nausea, dizziness, fainting, etc. Especially the fucking nausea. When I break my fast I have to FIGHT HARD not to throw up involuntarily.
I have decided to fast two days a week for the rest of my life, on my busiest class days so there's more distractions. I, however, am all about preparedness and know full well I am going to feel like baked shit at some point during my fasting days while I am trying to be a human in class. So I put together a fasting survival kit to put in my oversized purse.
First, there's medicine. I bought a pill box off Amazon. Mine looks like a tiny, pink first-aid kit and I love it. It contains:
* Aleve x2
* Tylenol extra strengthx6
* prozac and wellbutrin (my prescribed antidepressants) x2 of each
* Benadryl x6
* Dramamine x5
* Dramamine non-drowsy x5
* Antacids x2
* Ginger tablets x2(Seriously, restriction nausea will kill me one day)
* Caffeine pills 200mg x5
In addition I have teas inside a little baggie that could easily be mistaken for a feminine supplies kit. This way, when I want to go to the cafe and eat, I can instead get some hot water for 30 cents and enjoy a wide selection of my favorite teas from home!
* Ginger tea x2
* Chamomile and "honey" flavor tea x2
* Peppermint tea x2
* Slippery elm herbal tea x3
* Earl grey tea x1
* Rooibos tea x2
* Butterscotch Blondie dessert tea x2
* Mini stevia bottle
* BMISmart diet pills (They're basically fiber pills. I order them online and they're like $60 a month but it's worth it because they fill me up for HOURS.) x3 servings
* Gum (juicy fruit, spearmint, and cinnamon)
I also put in a couple sugar free candies and a couple pouches of on-the-go applesauce for if I get so dizzy and faint that I CANNOT fast anymore. Like, if I pass out or something.
Hopefully all of this will help keep the worst of the physical symptoms and cravings from fasting at bay. I'm using my kit for the first time today! Wish me luck!
[Other] Relatable
/u/yungbrrrat [5'8 | 140lb | BMI: 21 ]
Created: Mon Mar 26 07:33:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8794cc/relatable/
---
https://i.redd.it/ahzg9wylyxn01.jpg
[Discussion] Is this possible
/u/purpleoleander
Created: Mon Mar 26 06:58:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/878w78/is_this_possible/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My protein shake was congealed...
/u/quietpandaa [5'1 | 92.8 | 17.5 | 20F | š: quietpandaa]
Created: Mon Mar 26 06:47:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/878tjb/my_protein_shake_was_congealed/
---
I bought a pack of Premier Protein shakes yesterday and was so excited to try them. Then when I went to have one at my OMAD, my shake was all congealed and jello-y. I didn't notice until I'd already drank some, though, so I was too scared to throw it out and get something else. I ate about 3/4 of it with a spoon (like the trash that I am) because I can't afford to waste food, plus I know I needed the protein for my exam today. After that I felt too nauseous though, so I threw the rest away.
Now I'm so angry that my shake was gross and expensive, but I'm also worried about the calories in it. This is probably crazy, but I'm really scared that because it was messed up there are somehow more calories in it?? I was up half the night having panic attacks about it. Even if I count the shake as having 3x it's normal calories I'm still under 1000 for yesterday, but I'm terrified it'll make me gain weight.
This probably doesn't make any sense. I just really need some support and reassurance :(
[Rant/Rave] Why do people get so irrationally mad about people's eating habits
/u/glossboy [5'2 | CW:š· | GW:94 |-20 | š: glossboy]
Created: Mon Mar 26 06:24:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/878oli/why_do_people_get_so_irrationally_mad_about/
---
I have a friend who literally asks me like every 5 minutes why I'm not eating food A B or C. I had a 3 course meal with them about a week ago and literally for each goddamn meal they asked "You're not finishing that?" "God, just finish it."
They once told me that they got mad over a person taking their time slowly to finish a meal and taking bit by bit.
Why do people care so much? Why is it even their business to police the way I eat, the pace, and amount?!
It's not even coming from a heart of "I'm concerned that you may not be eating enough", they are little *annoyed* by the way I eat.
Stop paying attention to the way I eat it's got nothing to do with you and what you have to say about it doesn't give me anything.
I'm not commenting on why you're binging 6,000+ calories for *fun* so what gives you the right.
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! March 26, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 26 06:16:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/878mp3/weekly_stats_update_march_26_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for March 26, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 26, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 26 06:16:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/878mo2/daily_food_diary_march_26_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 26, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Thoughts on sports nutrition
/u/lottieeeeee
Created: Mon Mar 26 04:41:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87853i/thoughts_on_sports_nutrition/
---
I'm an endurance athlete and do long sessions in training where I can be out running for 4-6 hours at a time. I have to take some fuel with me or I will run badly. I know that I need to eat to run properly but OMG the GUILT I feel when I see that the energy bar I ate while on my long run had nearly 300cals! Which is MENTAL because the whole run probably burned nearly 1500. But I really struggle to accept that I need to eat this stuff. Also when I get back from my run I'm starving so tend to be less disciplined than usual (think a bowl of pasta - I try to never, ever eat pasta - instead of salad like I'd usually have). I read all about ho terrible it is for people to eat back their exercise calories and using exercise as an excuse to eat rubbish and I wonder if that is what I am?
If I don't eat I struggle on the run and think I'm lazy and useless. If I do eat I think I'm greedy and fat.
[Rant/Rave] Worked out for a month straight, lost no weight :/
/u/nvrgonnaleavethisBED [5'10"|too many|F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 04:28:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8782ww/worked_out_for_a_month_straight_lost_no_weight/
---
On mobile, can't flair
I've been lifting and doing cardio five days a week for the past month, haven't been binging and have been significantly more active overall but I weighed myself today and I have lost 0 pounds.
My body looks different, my boobs have gotten way smaller and my legs are more toned but I'm still BIG and I hate it. I thought for sure I'd lost at least ten pounds but it was zip. Zero. Nada.
I don't really know what to do. I haven't been tracking strictly because it kept making be binge every time I did, so I'm really not sure where this leaves me. I still want to lose 50 lbs. Should I risk starting a binge cycle again and start calories counting?
[Rant/Rave] Hi, I would like to cancel my interview please š
/u/pantsuo-haitemasen [170cm | 26F | CW: ššØ]
Created: Mon Mar 26 04:10:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/877zrk/hi_i_would_like_to_cancel_my_interview_please/
---
I've been unemployed for over two years. I am a 26 year old NEET (Not in Employment, Education or Training). my self-esteem and confidence are shot, but luckily, my boyfriend is kind enough to care for the both of us. Despite this, I am very keen to work.
After applying for hundreds of positions in my city over the course of a few months, I somehow managed to land an interview.
I was so thrilled! Then I saw my reflection on our bedroom mirror. I looked too thin (50 kg, 170cm frame). I immediately felt disgusted.
"What if the interviewer discovers that I have an eating disorder, or if they're malicious enough, on some hard drugs? People would stare outside and look at me. They'd judge me." These were some of the thoughts that ran through my mind.
I immediately grabbed my phone and contacted them to cancel our appointment. They offered to reschedule instead, but I insisted for cancellation. Now, I may have to sustain myself by posting some un-dank memes forever! :(
[Rant/Rave] broke up with boyfriend. ready for an intense restrict cycle
/u/joufflue
Created: Mon Mar 26 03:12:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/877qou/broke_up_with_boyfriend_ready_for_an_intense/
---
been seeing this guy who expresses love with food, gained 40 lbs bc it activated a binge cycle :-/ this among other factors lead me to break up with him yesterday, hung out with some ~problematic~ friends who also all have bad relationships with food. we're in a strava running challenge together and a group me and we're gonna send progress pics to eachother at the end of each month. helps that im super competitive so ill want to outrun/lose all of them.
we're also gonna work out together which is nice bc theyre already all so thin and pretty itll be extra motivation :-)
like on one hand its so nice to have a group of people i can be completely candid about my fucked up eating habits (binge/restrict cycles, purging, uneven weight) but im also worried for myself and my friends to what this leads to. i hope i die from complications but i also want them to be safe?
im lowkey excited to be this ""enabled"" but also my weight cycling has been like -30 +35 -45 +40 and i can tell this one is going to be... intense.... already got a bunch of cigs and juul pods, stocked up on diet foods (basically brown rice, black beans, eggs, plain canned tomato sauce and green tea are my staples), and made a step goal and p rigorous workout routine. gonna start weighing in every day again and strict IF. no eating out. my staples r cheap af too so hopefully ill save up a good amount of money too.
no obligation to eat with anyone or be in my ex's house full of snacks and junk. here we go. may this be the last time i gain.
im just so fucking sick of being back in my fat body, im not obese again, just overweight, but i did find comfort in being 128ish and being a healthy bmi so when it got really bad i could tel myself its just dysmorphia. cant even do that anymore. all the numbers point to me being a little pig again :( wish me luck everyone, sorry if this is incoherent, but idk who else to say this to. hugs ā¤ļø
[Rant/Rave] Ec stacking to stay awake, zzzquil to go to sleep
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 137 | 18.5 | -70 | M]
Created: Mon Mar 26 01:54:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/877ek6/ec_stacking_to_stay_awake_zzzquil_to_go_to_sleep/
---
[removed]
[Help] Feeling sh*t today, what to do?
/u/ketogirl98
Created: Mon Mar 26 01:41:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/877ck8/feeling_sht_today_what_to_do/
---
Trying to somewhat recover, and been eating like crazy the last couple of days trying to accept food. Today I woke up feeling like crap and hating my body in all of the things I tried on. What do you guys do on days when you feel bad, to feel better?
Much love
[Discussion] What is your favorite fitness tracker to calculate your TDEE?
/u/catsrule-humansdrool [5'5 | SW 211 | CW 180.2 | BMI 30 | 23F]
Created: Mon Mar 26 00:49:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8774e1/what_is_your_favorite_fitness_tracker_to/
---
Really one of the only reasons I want a fitness tracker is so not only can I count the exact amount of calories I consume, but I can also count the exact (or as close to exact as I can get) amount of calories I burn during the day. What do you use and what are the pros/cons? How accurate do you think it is?
[Rant/Rave] I hate going out after a binge
/u/juswonderingg
Created: Sun Mar 25 22:52:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/876k5k/i_hate_going_out_after_a_binge/
---
[removed]
[Help] Swimming!!
/u/grapefr00ti [5'7" | 21.85 | GW128 | 23F | Binge free: 2 days]
Created: Sun Mar 25 22:13:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/876cst/swimming/
---
I love swimming- scuba diving is the most alive I have ever felt. Last July my scuba instructor in Cozumel told my dad (hearing things about yourself that weren't meant to be heard by you are the BEST or worst because they're so genuine) that I am very aquatic. I really feel like I am a mermaid that's beached, I just want to be in the ocean.
It has finally starting to warm up (tx) and I can't wait to start swimming again! I got a swimsuit that I'm pretty confident in and that feels amazing!! But at the same time I'm so out of shape and anxious about my body and fitness.
I am lowkey feeble due to restriction and I feel very self conscious about fitness, but I want to be good at swimming!! Does anybody have any good resources for learning how to swim properly without instruction? I feel so at home in the water but I know my form is off. I just don't know how to ask for help from people I know in real life and it's really hard to just try by myself??
I dunno I feel like this is a dumb post because I'm not really sure what the goal of it even is but I love yall!!!!!!
[Help] What is an effective but also safe dosage of ephedra?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 25 22:02:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/876apc/what_is_an_effective_but_also_safe_dosage_of/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/876apc/what_is_an_effective_but_also_safe_dosage_of/
[Rant/Rave] Shit day of nothing but b/p
/u/greenlegsnham
Created: Sun Mar 25 21:40:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/876690/shit_day_of_nothing_but_bp/
---
Iāve thrown up eight times today. One of the worst parts about these days is not knowing (even remotely/ballpark estimate) how many calories Iāve consumed in the past twelve hours. Two of them were smaller and over dumb stuff like fruit but the rest were so out of control. This only ever happens on the weekends and I fucking hate it, I donāt know if Iām at 2,500 or 4,000 like who fucking knows??? Itās that feeling of knowing I got most of it out but also knowing the food I inhaled got more and more out of hand as the day went on and now itās almost midnight and Iām just staring at my textbook trying to make myself shower and finish my presentation for class at 8:00 am tomorrow. Aaaand itās Monday which means I have to dress up for my sorority despite the fact that Iāll have insane binge bloat and water retention š
Itās so easy to tell myself I donāt need help and am coping just fine because Iām used to it but days like this really fuck me up.
I see posts all the time on here from people that have recently started purging or are trying to start.. please donāt. Please. No one deserves this, and I promise you donāt want this
[Intro] Introducing myself
/u/lunar_lili
Created: Sun Mar 25 21:20:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8762a0/introducing_myself/
---
Hi everyone! I've lurked here for a while and finally worked up the courage to make an account. I struggle with bingeing and restricting because of anxiety. I'm hoping to find some people with similar problems to talk to. Thanks for reading!
[Intro] Hi everyone! I've lurked for a while now and finally decided to make an account. Like most here I've struggled with weight/body image and hope to find some people to talk to. (Ahh I'm nervous!!)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 25 21:10:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8760d1/hi_everyone_ive_lurked_for_a_while_now_and/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Therapist Rant (Update)
/u/calmlyranting [5'5 | Fluctuating | F]
Created: Sun Mar 25 21:04:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/875z5n/therapist_rant_update/
---
So I went back to the therapist I was having trouble with and it went better than expected, but still not great.
So before I went, I wrote down what I wanted to say because well, that's how I act when I think I'm going to have a debate with someone. I did get most of my points, while knowing how I felt she was coming across wasn't going to be 100% how she wanted to come across.
So I mentioned not feeling listened to and feeling stereotyped. I had wanted the experience to be a bit more individual. Basically the answer was that they simply don't have the resources to do so. The clinic is too small to really help on a large scale, so the only thing they really offer was the class they put me in. This was disappointing, but not really her fault. If it's not there, it's not there.
She then told me that this is one of the reasons she thinks I should be in her class so I'm able to "use my social signalling to express my expectations." Never mind that I didn't know what to expect when I went in. This does become more important later.
After that I talked a bit about how I wished that when I first started saying that this didn't seem to be working and asking for a bit more direction that she would have told me there wasn't much else. The other thing was about when she and another client talked about when she had lied to this other client.
She told me that they were joking, and that I shouldn't have taken it so seriously. I sort of get where she's coming from, but it's the way she followed it up that really bugged me. After that she told me that this is another reason why I should apparently be in this class because obviously if I knew more about social signalling, I would have been able to take the joke.
The reason this kinda pissed me off is that it feels like she just imposed a double standard where if she doesn't get what I'm saying it's because I didn't signal it properly. But if I don't get what she's saying, I just can't pick up signals properly. So it kind of feels like she can do no wrong in her mind and I'm always the one who's wrong, never mind the fact that she's the professional.
Either way I have three choices. First I go back to the classes and keep going regardless. Second, I take a break over the summer and just do self help stuff until September. Considering I'm spending the summer with my fiancƩ, it works out pretty well. Or I drop the program entirely. I'm not the type of person who likes giving up and a part of me is wondering if she's right and I've just been really bad at getting my point across. That doesn't seem likely as it felt like my other counsellor got it, the people around me sort of get it, and the psychiatrist at the clinic got it in one meeting. So it seems like it's just her. Another part of me feels like I've already broken any good bond or trust I have here.
It doesn't help that they believe in many things that I think are pseudoscience bullshit, but that's a whole other rant I won't get into unless asked.
[Rant/Rave] arguing with therapist
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 25 20:29:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/875rwg/arguing_with_therapist/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/875rwg/arguing_with_therapist/
[Discussion] [Discussion] What are your opinions on doing weights and strength workouts at the gym?
/u/squishyskeleton [Height 5ā5 | CW 52.3kg | BMI 19.1 | Weight Lost 20+kg | F]
Created: Sun Mar 25 20:03:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/875mf1/discussion_what_are_your_opinions_on_doing/
---
I just got a membership to my uniās gym today after having used it for a bit. And Iām so excited and happy. Actually being able to work out properly and burn calories is making me so happy. At the moment, Iāve just been using the cardio machines, the elliptical being my favourite.
But I was wondering, is it worth me also using the weights, and strength machines? I donāt want to get buff of course. But Iāve heard itās good for weight loss. Has anyone found this, had this experience? If so. What do yāall think? Should I try using them too?
Thanks!
[Discussion] iām done being out of control
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 25 19:38:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/875guv/im_done_being_out_of_control/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] TIL that (attempted?) overdose just feels like a 48+ hour fast.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 25 19:20:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/875d7e/til_that_attempted_overdose_just_feels_like_a_48/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Too relatable
/u/TreatmentTime [5'9 | 142 | 20.9 | -21 | 24]
Created: Sun Mar 25 19:12:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/875bcd/too_relatable/
---
https://youtu.be/_UtjPgqrKbM
How do I start restricting again?
/u/paperclip1213
Created: Sun Mar 25 19:07:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/875a9k/how_do_i_start_restricting_again/
---
[removed]
[Other] kpop girl groups make me feel so bad about myself, but I love feeling like shit
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: 164.4 | -30.6]
Created: Sun Mar 25 18:59:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8758lv/kpop_girl_groups_make_me_feel_so_bad_about_myself/
---
im a fatass asian. if i lost a good 70 pounds, i feel like i could at least look 1/4 as pretty as they look. this guy I'm seeing definitely has some favorite girl idols that he is refusing to tell me about because he knows I will go insane, but i wish he would tell me because (this is rly weird) i want to feel ugly and gross. if i feel cute, im more lenient with my eating.
on a side note, i love it when he gives subtle, unconscious indicators that he finds other girls, specifically asian girls, cute/pretty. after, i collect their pictures and save it in an album because im creepy and it motivates me hahahaha. ive known him for 3 years and i can recall the name and face of every single girl he's given a high rating to, even when we were just friends/barely friends. i wish he would call more girls cute, i love feeling like a trash can
[Discussion] Shin splints
/u/dentchick
Created: Sun Mar 25 18:55:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8757qw/shin_splints/
---
Anyone else get them? Iāve been dealing with the pain for a couple months now but god I donāt want to stop running. I switched to interval incline speed walking mixed with running, but I just refuse to stop completely. Iām kinda worried theyāll never heal :/ Iād post in another community or whatever but any other sane person will tell me to rest and I donāt wanna hear it.
I guess my question is: how bad can it be to keep running and has anyone ever just kind of dealt with it?
[Tip] Breyers delights mini pints!!!!!
/u/PandorasMusicalBox [5'4" | CW: 129ish | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 25 18:53:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87576t/breyers_delights_mini_pints/
---
https://i.imgur.com/jvKMP2q.jpg
[Help] How can you tell if you have an irregular heartbeat?
/u/myrtlewils0n [cw:118 ā¾ gw1:115 ā¾ ugw:108]
Created: Sun Mar 25 18:53:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87576r/how_can_you_tell_if_you_have_an_irregular/
---
Sometimes Iāll get these feelings like Iām falling out of or drifting away from my body, only to suddenly snap back to reality and feel slightly dizzy. Usually itās following heavy-ish restriction or working out for extended periods of time and restricting afterwards.
Is this any cause for alarm? Or something else entirely?
[Rant/Rave] I purged for the first time
/u/chocolatecaks
Created: Sun Mar 25 16:58:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/874h1r/i_purged_for_the_first_time/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Anybody else completely llogical and aware of it?
/u/razzytrazza [5ā3 | CW 104 | GW who tf even knows]
Created: Sun Mar 25 16:48:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/874eyi/anybody_else_completely_llogical_and_aware_of_it/
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My boyfriendās birthday was on Friday and I didnāt eat all day so that I could enjoy a slice of cake with him. I didnāt even eat my whole slice and havenāt eaten anything since then because i felt like i binged even though I know that it was only about 600 calories. Why am I like this??
[Intro] New here.
/u/nodamnchill
Created: Sun Mar 25 16:46:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/874ed1/new_here/
---
Hey!! Iām new here. I have had BED for a while because of an anxiety disorder and have been trying to lose weight for years. Just wanted to peek in and say hi.
[Help] Can anyone tell me why the roof of my mouth is throbbing?
/u/Ekawa [Height 5'2 | CW 133 | BMI | -15 |F/22]
Created: Sun Mar 25 16:21:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8748kn/can_anyone_tell_me_why_the_roof_of_my_mouth_is/
---
So I used to be very bulimic (4-5 yrs ago) until one day I couldn't purge and I messed up my throat somehow. Before it was super easy and painless. Since then, my throat has never felt the same and I've had issues here and there but nothing diagnosable that a doctor can see. So I was purging last week and I felt ok after, nothing too serious, but started restricting for the next few days and when I finally tried to eat it HURT. The back roof of my mouth was throbbing and it hurt so bad. What's going on? I haven't binged since then because it hurts after eating some, and definitely haven't purged. Smoking makes it worse but it's so hard to quit. It feels like a brainfreeze, but only in my throat and it hurts really bad and I'm scared I wont be able to binge/purge again even though I need to in order to maintain weight loss.
[Rant/Rave] Figured out whatās wrong
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 25 16:19:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87486x/figured_out_whats_wrong/
---
[deleted]
[Tip] Sobriety apps
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Sun Mar 25 15:55:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8742en/sobriety_apps/
---
A really good tool to track how long since my last binge. It gives it to me in hours which makes it seem much more manageable.
[Discussion] DAE get incredibly hangry and pissy
/u/lead-by-example [6ā0 191 gw178 | m32]
Created: Sun Mar 25 15:10:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/873rdu/dae_get_incredibly_hangry_and_pissy/
---
blood sugar too low? donāt fucking talk to me
blood sugar too high? donāt fucking talk to me
and it comes out of nowhere!!! makes it so hard to human. what do you do to fix it?
I had a dream i binged
/u/witchy2628 [5'3 | CW: 110.6| SW:190| 24f]
Created: Sun Mar 25 14:49:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/873lxh/i_had_a_dream_i_binged/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Pizza and the new woman at work.
/u/throwawaywife420
Created: Sun Mar 25 14:44:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/873knc/pizza_and_the_new_woman_at_work/
---
Hey peaches ā¤ļø hope yāall are having a wonderful Sunday. Iām here to bitch for about 5 minutes. Thanks in advance for listening :)
I work in a group home where the meals that are made are not the healthiest. Ever since I decided I wanted to lose weight again I have been bringing my lunch to work. There is a new girl here in particular that I continuously have issues with.
When I started bringing my lunch in every day, she started claiming that she too was trying to lose weight and eat healthy. Thatās great! She asks me every day, āSo whatād you bring?ā And after I tell her she always makes some weird or disapproving comment. Every day she brings in fast food and also eats the dinner that is made for the residents. Then sits on the couch and tells everyone she is working out and losing. Sure, honey.
If I enter the kitchen to clean or grab my snack she questions me: āWhat are you doing in there? What are you eating? What are you heating up?ā She literally asked me last night as I was eating a granola bar in the kitchen āWhat you got in your mouth?ā I donāt understand why she does this so aggressively. Sometimes her constant questioning helps me restrict because I want to avoid confrontation so badly.
But sometimes she questions me about not eating. I canāt win.
I hate her so much, and I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I canāt fucking stand her, and I think today she will see me snap if she doesnāt watch her mouth. Iām on my period and have been pretty good about not bingeing so I decided to bring two slices of leftover pizza. My husband and I have been staying at his fatherās house to watch his dog so I havenāt really had access to my healthy foods - I figured it would be easy and would satisfy my crazy period cravings.... Then I got to work and found out she was working today as well. Iām down on the scale so Iām feeling good, but I know as soon as I heat up my pizza she is going to say something and Iām going to unleash on her. I refuse to eat in hiding because of this bitch. Here we go....
[Rant/Rave] Back to my old ways
/u/fllourr
Created: Sun Mar 25 13:47:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/873669/back_to_my_old_ways/
---
After 1 1/2 weeks of attempting keto. Restricting slightly still but a real attempt at something āhealthyā I am bingeing on very āunketoā foods. It all started when my sister made her fucking cookies the exact way she knows I like. And now Iām sitting here on a Sunday night just turning back to my good olā reliable ED behaviours. I am going shopping on Thursday and I reeaally do not want another trip where I just want to cry every time I look in the mirror. Hoping to lose a reasonable amount, even if itās water weight, itāll just make me less anxious. Iām not gonna lie, It made me kind of scared that I was eating cheese and cream but I think Iāll feel a lot better sticking with lettuce and just plain eggs. Iām just worried that all the fat Iāve eaten on keto will stay on my body because Iāve eaten carbs? idk man. Iām scared to weigh myself.
[Other] A fly in my soup
/u/breadndread [5'1| 120 | 20| lmaoyeahsure | F]
Created: Sun Mar 25 12:28:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/872ma3/a_fly_in_my_soup/
---
[removed]
[Help] The new flavoured Diet Cokes in the skinny cans-- am I wrong or do they taste "spicy"?
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 24F cw: š gw: šø]
Created: Sun Mar 25 11:49:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/872c95/the_new_flavoured_diet_cokes_in_the_skinny_cans/
---
My local grocery store had the "zesty blood orange" and "feisty cherry" flavours of Diet Coke in the new 310ml x 8 cases. I love cherry coke zero but in Canada it's pretty much only available in the summer, although I can get it (and vanilla coke zero which I also love) year round from an overpriced imported candy store, so I was hoping the cherry would be similar or the same flavour so I could save money.
However I find that both flavours have a "spicy" aftertaste, the cherry moreso to the point that I typically can't finish the can. I'm not sure if I'm crazy or if there really is a spicy aftertaste to these new flavours??? Has anyone else noticed this???
[Help] best calorie counting app if you eat under 1200?
/u/sugarpiIl [5'5 | 199 | 33.11 | 3 lbs lost | F]
Created: Sun Mar 25 11:47:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/872bwd/best_calorie_counting_app_if_you_eat_under_1200/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Iāve been binging and purging non stop for several weeks now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 25 11:17:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8724bf/ive_been_binging_and_purging_non_stop_for_several/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Not thin enough
/u/Elizawitch [5'3" | Female | CW: 100lbs | GW: 90lbs | UGW: 85lbs]
Created: Sun Mar 25 10:50:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/871x8w/not_thin_enough/
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[removed]
Does anyone meditate to relieve triggers?
/u/ricemask [5'6" | CW: 150 | -3 | UGW: 115 | 20F | š: riceemask]
Created: Sun Mar 25 10:46:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/871w98/does_anyone_meditate_to_relieve_triggers/
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I eat because I donāt feel a certain way (mostly to calm my anxiety, I donāt have much of an appetite when Iām depressed) and my therapist told me when if I feel like Iām getting anxious, to just take one big deep breath in and out. Could be untrue but it helps slow your body down.
Iām a vegetarian (also helped so much with BED) and Iāll can ever think about is Taco Bell when Iām anxious. I was driving from the gym and all I could think about was getting Taco Bell but I knew i already had dinner at home (broccoli with soy cheese) but I just kept breathing and everything was fine.
I kinda wanna explore meditation at home, does anyone else have any mantras or ways of practicing it?
[Rant/Rave] Skinniest Iāve ever been?!
/u/frida569 [163 cm | 74 kg | 15 kg | female]
Created: Sun Mar 25 10:46:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/871w7j/skinniest_ive_ever_been/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Been Watching the Big Ward on Netflix...
/u/supemery
Created: Sun Mar 25 10:31:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/871sly/been_watching_the_big_ward_on_netflix/
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And does anyone else think about how weird it is that if youāve had weight loss surgery itās perfectly acceptable to eat 800-1000 calories a day, but if you havenāt had surgery itās āunhealthyā and you arenāt eating enough?
[Discussion] Thoughts on laxatives/detox teas?
/u/EvenRainbowsScream [4'11 | SW:117| CW:106 | GW:85 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 25 10:14:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/871oga/thoughts_on_laxativesdetox_teas/
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[removed]
[Goal] first post here, but finally hit double digits!
/u/wetbookshelf [5ā3 | CW: 98.4 lbs | GW: 95 lbs]
Created: Sun Mar 25 10:11:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/871nru/first_post_here_but_finally_hit_double_digits/
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I lurk on here constantly on my other account and I finally got the courage to post. I guess Iāve always felt like I wasnāt āsick enoughā to post here, but I think Iāve sort of realized I have a problem lately.
But anyway, I got a juul (tiny vape with lots of nicotine) and the nicotine has really helped suppress my appetite. Iāve been restricting a LOT lately and last night I weighed myself and I was 99.8!! I was worried bc I went to mexican after and had to eat, but I weighed myself this morning and Iām down to 98.4 :)) I actually look in the mirror and like my body sometimes, which never used to happen. I still dont like my stomach, but I think I have to exercise to get that to go away.
it feels really good to finally post here :)
[Tip] Ice cream hack = life changing š¦
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sun Mar 25 10:09:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/871nd9/ice_cream_hack_life_changing/
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Okay so I have found the best way to have real ice cream šØ! Probably already a thing, but I like to think I invented it last night ššš
Eddyās slow churned ice cream ranges from 100-130 cals a serving at 12 servings a container.
Slice that up into 4 servings (you can eyeball or measure with a ruler). The container is completely cylindrical so no tapering or unevenness.
Peel off label after cutting the carton, package in little containers (to avoid binge as much as possible). Boom real ice cream at a low price!
[Discussion] Confused about coworker's comments
/u/follyflop [5'9" | CW: fucking ew | GW: much less | F]
Created: Sun Mar 25 10:06:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/871mmn/confused_about_coworkers_comments/
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Hey guys! I haven't ever posted before but I definitely love reading all of your posts and I chime in if I have something to add...but I just had a weird thing happen at work. I usually go on lunch by myself, we have a smoking break room, and I'm the only one in my department that really utilizes it, which is nice because I like time to myself, and I definitely like privacy during meals whether I'm eating or not.
So...I've lost like 30 lbs in the last maybe 4 months, most of which was in the first two and I've been kinda all over the place lately. I'll restrict for a day or two and then go crazy and fuck it all up.
Anyway, just now, my coworker (40?f) just sent me a message saying her boyfriend is picking her up for lunch and they are going to taco Bell, and asked if I wanted anything. I politely declined, just honestly because I have to be home after I eat that shit because it fucks so bad with my stomach. She then got kinda pushy saying she worries about me and did I want Jimmy John's or Arby's or something else. Then she asked if I had tried the nacho fries at taco Bell and when I said no she told me I had to, which sounds like a friendly suggestion but it felt super pushy like you need to eat. The thing is, I genuinely think I'm fairly good at hiding my tendencies at work, unless I'm fasting (haven't successfully in a couple months), I generally eat a decent lunch, and I don't B/P so I honestly have zero idea how she caught on to me? I'm just really confused. I'm not skinny yet, and the weight I lost was months ago now...I just...could I be doing something I'm wildly unaware of that's giving me away? Or maybe I'm overreacting and she is worried for some other reason? Have you guys experienced this at all?
[Rant/Rave] Oil
/u/shharkie
Created: Sun Mar 25 09:02:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8717bj/oil/
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Guess who was planning on having cabbage for lunch?
And guess whoās mother drowned the cabbage in oil?
Oil really would have been fine in smaller quantities, being a āgood fatā and all... but she probably put about 3 table spoons of it on every individual chunk of cabbage we cut.
I feel so selfish, because we were cooking it a bit earlier (since I was up at 3:30 AM), because I just donāt know if I can eat it now. Oil is scary, at 200 calories per table spoon...
(She just kind of dumped it all on before I could protest lol... I was going to ask for a chunk or two without much/any)
[Rant/Rave] tmi maybe lol
/u/starfiresgf
Created: Sun Mar 25 08:52:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/87153z/tmi_maybe_lol/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Perfect Information
/u/Aleph0-4 [155 cm | 42 kg | BMI 18.25 | 19F]
Created: Sun Mar 25 07:29:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/870o9q/perfect_information/
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I sometimes fantasise about a device that can tell me perfect information about my body with real time updates. It can tell me precise calorie counts of everything I eat and show the amount of fat my body is burning while I exercise to the nearest gram. That way I don't have to agonise over if I've estimated my TDEE accurately and then I can stop overestimating my food calories and underestimating exercise calories to be safe and then worrying and binging then purging anyway I feel like if this existed I would be cured.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 25, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 25 06:11:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/870bdf/daily_food_diary_march_25_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for March 25, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 25 06:11:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/870bbu/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
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Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Rant/Rave] I keep gaining and losing the same 6 pounds. All because of being social and having an SO kinda, I fucking hate myself
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: 155 | -40]
Created: Sun Mar 25 05:44:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8707fe/i_keep_gaining_and_losing_the_same_6_pounds_all/
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I promised myself I'd be at a certain weight by my birthday, and I got there.. it was my lowest weight. usually I don't hang out with anybody. I just chill in my room all day and game.. and that's how I lost weight. but I got lonely, so I met people. now that I'm hanging out with others, it's hard to refuse food, estimate how much I'm eating, and control myself. I can easily eat 8000 calories a day but I have to stop myself. this week was my spring break and I stayed over my bf's house, where I gained back the 6 pounds I fucking lost. I'm at my highest weight again like i literally want to die, why am i like this
First time I puked up blood. Im scared to shit now. Please dont purge.
/u/bunnywithbpd [5"1 | 111 lb | -18 lb | F]
Created: Sun Mar 25 05:24:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8704qn/first_time_i_puked_up_blood_im_scared_to_shit_now/
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[removed]
First time I puked up blood. Im scared to shit now. Please dont purge.
/u/bunnywithbpd [5"1 | 111 lb | -18 lb | F]
Created: Sun Mar 25 05:24:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8704pn/first_time_i_puked_up_blood_im_scared_to_shit_now/
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[removed]
[Intro] not sure where else to put this
/u/throwowawayayy [173cm | 69.3kg | 23.1 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 25 04:42:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86zz7e/not_sure_where_else_to_put_this/
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I'm not sure if this post is like, idk, a waste of space or whatever, but I just needed to get it out. If it is a waste of space, I suppose it'll be removed. Also, I should mention that I don't necessarily have an eating disorder per se, and I've never been professionally diagnosed with anything. Any eating disorder, that is. I've been diagnosed with other stuff. Basically:
When I was the youngest I can remember being, food was, hands down, the best thing in my life. I always cleared my plate, not because I lived in one of those households where you had to clear your plate, but because I couldn't fathom having food in front of me or offered to me and turning it down. I was not a picky eater at all - there were few foods that I didn't love simply because they were food. Though I was never hungry, living in a first world country and whatnot, I was pretty much never 'full' either, cos I'd always have room for more. It's a good thing the food was so healthy, or I would've gotten a lot fatter a lot faster. As it was I was at the very top of the normal range.
When I hit puberty, I began feeling inadequate about my body. You know how it goes. This was fuelled by my introduction to anime, with all its cute, skinny characters, around the same time.
As I got older, I got more freedom about my diet, which I used to continue to become overweight. There were a few factors contributing to my weight gain, all of them food. At some point around year eight or nine, I stopped caring about my looks. It wasn't that I thought I was beautiful - I just no longer wanted to be beautiful.
It was clear, though, that I had issues with food which no amount of body positivity would solve. I had a serious case of FOMO when it came to food. In social situations with a large spread of foods, if anything looked even slightly different to food I'd had before, I would HAVE to try a good few mouthfuls, even if it meant refilling my plate multiple times and feeling like I was being judged.
...Okay, I suppose all that isn't super relevant to my current relationship with food. I was just tryna provide some context. I'm so sorry. Anyway, it's about to get relevant now, so bear with me.
At the end of year nine, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and put on medication which completely removed my appetite as a side effect. Lunch became a thing of the past. From morning to afternoon, I wouldn't even think about food. The weight loss crept up on me, without me even realising it at first. I can't even say when it was that I looked in the mirror and I just... wasn't fat anymore.
Unfortunately, as well as appetite suppression and weight loss, another side effect of the drugs I was taking was addiction. I had to be taken off them, because they were fucking up my life in other ways. Which I would go into, but this intro post is already long and boring enough without any tangents.
I stopped taking the drugs, and started eating like it was going out of style. It occurred to me pretty quickly that if I kept doing this, I'd be at a new highest weight in the blink of an eye. And I didn't like that. I started to realise that for my whole life, my body had been completely shaped by my random food cravings, and whatever drugs I may or may not have been on. My skinniness had been given to me by the capricious hand of an uncaring universe in which I had no control, and could be taken from me just as easily. Once I realised that, I could no longer accept not controlling my diet. I started paying more attention to what I ate and how much, determined not to gain back any of my old weight, and hoping to possibly lose more. I didn't start counting calories right away, cos I was afraid that once I started I'd be unable to stop, and it'd change my relationship with food forever. I was right, of course. Since I took up calorie counting, I'll never see almonds the same way again.
I can't remember exactly how things went down after that point, but to bring things to the current day (finally): Since I started restricting, I've just gotten worse and worse at it. I used to go days at a time on <1000. Now I struggle to stay under 2000 some days. I feel terrible. I want to get better but I don't know how. I'm lonely all the time and I don't know how to reach out to people cos I don't know what to talk about. I don't know what I want. Part of me wants to be as skinny as possible, but part of me wants to be strong. If I restrict too much - if I even manage to do that - I feel guilty for not feeding my muscles. If I eat too much, I feel guilty for being a fatass. Exercise is the only thing that feels good and safe and guilt free, but if I spend all my time exercising I feel guilty for not using that time to do school work. I know if I run around trying to achieve multiple goals that clash with each other then I won't achieve any of them, and that just makes me feel guilty for cheating myself out of success with my indecisiveness. And on top of all of this, my past drug problem is offering/threatening to make a comeback, as an immediate yet temporary solution to all my other problems. So...yeah. I'm pretty stressed right now.
Wow... this got really long. Shoutout to anyone who actually took the time to read this, cos if I were you, I probably wouldn't have. I just needed to share this. I've been feeling down ever since I realised, and it's a pretty bleak realisation, but it's true: From as soon as I was allowed to buy my own food, there hasn't been a single moment where I haven't been fat, on drugs, extremely insecure, or all fucking three!!!
Sorry for the long post.
[Discussion] Obsessing over something dumb
/u/_thehotcheetodiet_
Created: Sun Mar 25 02:28:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86zjoa/obsessing_over_something_dumb/
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Does anyone else just obsess over stupid things that happened to you?
I have this specific memory of about a month ago, when my boyfriends mom made a curried chicken dinner for us and his sisters (who are all incredibly thing and beautiful, whereas I'm a gross whale). We all sat down to eat with our portions (me having fasted the day before and most of that day, struggling all the way because I fucking suck at fasting). His mother then joins us, with a small side play with about a tablespoon each of chicken, rice, and sweet potato side. Just the smallest fucking portion. I remember being ridiculously self conscious with my normal sized portion and jealous that I didn't have that kind of self control. I've literally been thinking about that incident since it happened and it's just suuuuch a dumb small thing to obsess over...
[Help] Is it possible to become dependent on glycerin suppositories?
/u/palespirit [5'3" | CW: 105 lbs | GW: 95 lbs]
Created: Sun Mar 25 00:50:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86z73g/is_it_possible_to_become_dependent_on_glycerin/
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Title says it all. Suppositories have been working for me and I like that they work quickly and that youāre not shitting your brains out for hours after using one, but if my body is going to start relying on them Iād rather switch to another method!
Does oolong tea really make you lose weight?
/u/Dark_Samus00
Created: Sun Mar 25 00:41:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86z5xl/does_oolong_tea_really_make_you_lose_weight/
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[removed]
Welp
/u/daintydaisydoll [5'1.5 / CW:96 / BMI: 18.56 / GW: 85]
Created: Sun Mar 25 00:25:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86z3pa/welp/
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[removed]
[Help] I just can't get over it
/u/chocological13
Created: Sun Mar 25 00:24:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86z3it/i_just_cant_get_over_it/
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I've always had an ED since my high school years, but just started seeing a psychiatrist about 6 months ago (secretly too, my parents are.. well let's just say if they found out they'll preach me to death). I've lost about 20 kg since the high school. About 3 months ago, my depression also got worse, making me lose 5 kg in a week, it intensified my ED. And then I fell ill. I was hospitalized for 2 weeks and discharged myself because the doctors couldn't find what was wrong with me (and my family couldn't afford the bill anymore). FYI, my symptoms are really similar to GBS but the hospital held back some test results because I discharged myself (wtf ikr). And during that stay in hospital, I lost another 5 kg.
So after that, I just stayed at home for the recovery. Relying only on ketogenic diet for the therapeutic purposes. My mum who's been in the diet for 2 years monitors me. FYI again, keto doesn't just make you lose weight, it can also make you be at the right weight for you if you're underweight. The thing is.. I know this is sick.. but I was actually super happy that I lost a LOT of weight even though I know it's really dangerous for me. And since I'm underweight, my mum plans my keto diet for weight gain. And I did gain weight. But I just can't shake off the feeling that I don't want this. I don't want to see my scale goes up. I hate myself more and more. Both for not recovering faster and for gaining weight. I just keep finding things to blame myself.
And I can't see my psychiatrist as long as I'm sick and stuck at home too. I'm really a mess. But the fact that I could hide it so well from my parents is just amazing lol. But damn, Idk.
Does H&M size down to 0 or is 4 their smallest size somehow? Why does this tag only go down to 4?
/u/cybermua
Created: Sat Mar 24 22:54:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86ypx6/does_hm_size_down_to_0_or_is_4_their_smallest/
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https://i.redd.it/yqvctxf4cun01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Restricting makes me feel powerful
/u/keekaroo [5'2 | CW 120 | GW 100 | 20 F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 22:50:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86yp3n/restricting_makes_me_feel_powerful/
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Throwaway account but hello, first post.
I gained 20 pounds when I got to college and recently decided to lose it. But my weight loss so quickly turned into disordered eating. Now I want to lose about 40 pounds overall, and have lost 13 so far.
I love feeling hungry because pushing through it and not eating makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something. This worries me because I know this will lead me down a worse path than I'm already on but I love it and I feel sick for it.
I haven't even had a drastic weight loss yet but my friends are already harping on me about an ED. One is up front and super vocal about how she's concerned, the other just subliminally brings up other people with EDs and how they are. If they were talking to me two years ago, thinking about an ED would seem so unrealistic for me. But now when they talk to me about it, I'm almost proud. I hate it and I don't know what changed, but here I am.
My friend today was talking about a friend she thinks has bulimia, and I'm mad at myself for getting jealous. I wish I had the strength to throw up, I'd probably be skinnier by now.
I'm scared for myself, but I love it. I hate it. I make no sense. Maybe someone gets what I'm saying?
[Other] talked in real life with another person with an ED today, for the first time, ever
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 120.8lbs | 18.85 | -44lbs| F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 22:42:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86yns1/talked_in_real_life_with_another_person_with_an/
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So I've talked before about how my coworker probably (definitely) has an ED. Well, today I was talking about a former coworker and mentioned how they said they had celiac but ate the pitas all the time, and how I don't care what you eat, but you don't have to lie about it. I felt like the ED coworker might take that wrong though, it felt kinda accusatory, and I was like "I support weird diets. I don't care if you literally only eat chocolate. But you don't have to lie."
We went on lunch right after and they asked if I wanted to come out for a cigarette. While out, we just had this really honest discussion where we both said we have an ED and use the control to control our emotions. It was just so.... freeing, to be honest and open with somebody about this part of my life. We had less than 10 minutes to talk but it was just really nice. I've had mildly disordered eating since high school and more seriously disordered eating for at least 6 years and it's just always made me feel so isolated to never, ever talk about. They're moving away this summer so I'm not about to get an ~ED Buddy~ out of it, but I'm glad I finally got to do this thing I've wanted to do for a really long time, without judgment.
[Discussion] I thought my boyfriend had caught on to my ED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 24 22:04:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86yh98/i_thought_my_boyfriend_had_caught_on_to_my_ed/
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[deleted]
[Help] Muffled hearing after getting up?
/u/glossboy [5'2 | CW:š· | GW:94 |-20 | š: glossboy]
Created: Sat Mar 24 21:53:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86yf94/muffled_hearing_after_getting_up/
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I usually experience the mini blackouts that most people get when they're restricting or fasting like the blackened vision and dizziness.
Today I hadn't eaten until 7ish pm today but around 5 pm I got up out of bed and I immediately experienced the blackout except this one was much longer and stronger. I came out of it extra dazed but was still standing. Then my hearing started slightly ringing and everything was muffled.
I have never once passed out but that really scared the shit out of me as I was just about to go to an event.
Someone on Peach mentioned that I must've gotten up too fast/not drinking enough water. Which is true I drank like a cup today.
If I up my water for the day and get up more slowly will things be fine?... or do I have to force myself to eat more. I also just started an ec stack this week which is my first time.
[Help] Kinda ED. Kinda not.
/u/applesauceistheenemy
Created: Sat Mar 24 21:51:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86yerh/kinda_ed_kinda_not/
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So this is my first post here, not my first post on Reddit but my first post with this account as well.
Iām struggling but not just with disordered eating. I have a LOT of health problems as well.
It honestly began when I was nauseous and throwing up for no reason for weeks on end. I went to see the doctor and she said ādoes it REALLY bother you to throw up that much?ā Made me think it wasnāt āreallyā that big of an issue, and I wanted to lose weight anyways, this was just expediting it a lot. Like, a lot a lot.
Then a few months passed, had the same issue. Was underweight and felt miserable because of it. Looked dead, everyone commented on it, hair falling out, pale skin etc.
Saw a GI doctor. Had colonoscopy done, also endoscopy. Found precancerous polyps in the colon, diagnosed with IBS, GERD, and esophagitis. Gave me antacid.
Antacid worked perfectly for 2 months. Then stopped working entirely. GI doctor didnāt care, basically told me it was my own problem to deal with. Saw another GI doctor.
New doc prescribed me Carafate, which is for ulcers, to take on top of nexium. At max dose for nexium and Carafate. Canāt poop now so taking laxatives 2x/week. Feel bloated most of the time.
Finally start to gain weight and Iām at a healthy weightāyay!!! Right? Except no. Because I still want to be underweight. Canāt stand to be even at the bare minimum. Skip my nexium and Carafate for one day, throw up relentlessly the next and canāt poop.
So basically itās a combination of my own body destroying me + me not helping. To make it more complicated, Iām on an antipsychotic, Geodon. That causes INSANE appetite 2 hours after I take it. Sometimes it seems like the nexium and Carafate wonāt work unless I take them WITH the Geodon, but then I canāt STOP eating which is just as stressful for me. I feel out of control. My psychiatrist isnāt going to work with my GI doctor, and my GI doctor isnāt going to work with my psychiatrist.
I am trapped in a cycle, I take all my meds like Iām supposed to, I eat a lot. Gain some weight. Panic. Donāt take my meds. Vomit, shit a lot. Lose the weight in 2 days. Take them again because I panic from not being able to eat either. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Itās sickening and obviously horrible for my mental health (I take the antipsychotic for mood stabilization and legit psychosis, so going without it for long enough could literally kill me). I feel like shit. I feel guilty. I feel like I donāt really have an eating disorder, I just have IBS and GERD, and nobody cares about either of them so why should I. The last time I saw my GI doctor I told her I couldnāt poop for 4 days or more and she said āwell thatās a problemā And nothing else. No solutions, no suggestions, no help. People who love me care but canāt help me. People who can help me donāt give a fuck. I canāt bear to be at a healthy weight anymore. I donāt know why, I canāt even explain it. Itās so illogical and stupid honestly. I was 30 pounds heavier than this for years and I was perfectly fine. Why now? Thanks for reading if you got this far.
[Rant/Rave] Had to draw how I thought I looked for therapy she's says they are off I beg to differ
/u/oFILo
Created: Sat Mar 24 20:36:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86y0sg/had_to_draw_how_i_thought_i_looked_for_therapy/
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https://i.redd.it/poiqrydhntn01.jpg
Boyfriends Friends GFs all Thinner than Me
/u/firexsign [5'4" | 142 | 24.4 | GW:105 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 20:30:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86xzmt/boyfriends_friends_gfs_all_thinner_than_me/
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My boyfriend is a Korean exchange student. Just for kicks, I instagram stalked some of his Korean friends and got glimpses into their lives. All of their girlfriends are beautiful. ED level skinny, flawless skin, and a fuck-ton of great plastic surgery. I feel like such a fat, American slob in comparison. Some of his friends are currently visiting him in the US and I now understand why he hasn't invited me to meet any of them. He's ashamed of me. I'm currently sad B/P-ing and just wanted to vent. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] Finally got below 130
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 130 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 20 F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 20:29:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86xzi9/finally_got_below_130/
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....i'm only 129.8 but holy shit!!!
After I lost nearly 30 pounds in three months and then just starting at 130-135 for like 8 months I finally weighed myself and am at 129.8. I couldn't be happier. And ....i'm on my period no less. It's just amazing ....i'm so glad.
[Discussion] isolating myself so i donāt have to be in a situation where i have to eat
/u/romanticmisery
Created: Sat Mar 24 20:28:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86xzb8/isolating_myself_so_i_dont_have_to_be_in_a/
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does anyone else do this?? i havenāt been out for weeks because i know people will try to make me eat and judge me for how i eat
[Discussion] I cried in a restaurant today
/u/motivatedcactus [5'3" | CW 113 | BMI 20.57 | UGW skinny | 18F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 20:15:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86xwt5/i_cried_in_a_restaurant_today/
---
My ED was never a big deal. I felt like I could stop whenever I wanted, I just didnāt want to. But lately itās taken more control over me. So much more. All Iāve wanted lately was to be able to be normal again. To be able to go out to a diner and shoot the shit with my boyfriend and be normal. I decided fuck Ed, Iām going out. We went to a farmers market and then to a diner.
I stared at that menu for like 30 minutes guys. Flipping through the pages, agonizing over what I wanted vs what I should get. I broke down and cried. In public, in a restaurant, looking at a menu. Thankfully I managed to stop and we didnāt have to leave but god damn... it was so embarrassing... all I wanted was a normal meal with my honey...
I got a ham and Swiss panini with fries and coleslaw. I ate the coleslaw, half the fries, and a third of the panini. It was hard, but it was good, and it felt good. Like a big fuck you to Ed. Even though now Iām guilty. Ugh. I wish I had the power to reverse this now.
[Discussion] thoughts/feelings on not looking your own age?
/u/patroclues
Created: Sat Mar 24 19:40:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86xpmn/thoughtsfeelings_on_not_looking_your_own_age/
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i look extremely young for being an adult and its always bothered me but since things have gotten worse, i feel like i look even younger now. i absolutely hate it but also... kind of like it? i feel like this is an odd thing to bring up but im curious about how other people feel and also a bit lonely rn
[Discussion] Growing up, how did your family influence the way you view your body?
/u/lw2295
Created: Sat Mar 24 19:23:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86xm04/growing_up_how_did_your_family_influence_the_way/
---
Consciously or subconsciously. I feel like a lot of us grew up with mothers or sisters who had their own issues with this stuff. Or maybe some of us really internalized family membersā comments made in passing about their own bodies.
I remember my older, neurotypical, relatively thin sister standing in front of a mirror, grabbing at her fat and pointing out where she needed to lose weight. Right in front of her three much younger sisters. Being a very chubby kid, it just stuck with me, like āoh, I guess Iām supposed to hate myself too. And if she thinks sheās fat, what does that say about me?ā
My obese mom and overweight grandmother would constantly talk about dieting and weight loss whenever theyād get together. I also feel like growing up with obese family made me repulsed by the idea of being fat.
Iām determined to set a much, much better example for my future children. I canāt help but think my family shouldāve had the foresight to know not to talk like they did in front of young impressionable girls.
[Rant/Rave] Lmao
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 24 18:50:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86xeth/lmao/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86xeth/lmao/
[Discussion] What could you buy for 1 year of binging?
/u/Miss_Sangwitch
Created: Sat Mar 24 17:00:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86wq9n/what_could_you_buy_for_1_year_of_binging/
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I was thinking about what a binge costs and how much money I would save by not binging. So I did the calculations. If I spend (conservatively) $70/wk on food that ultimately gets B/P'd, then in 1 yr of not binging I'd save over $3,600! That's an international vacation with all expenses paid. As someone who lives to travel, that's motivation for me.
How much would you save in a year without binging and what would you spend that money on?
Supersize v superskinny on Ch4
/u/UQ4120
Created: Sat Mar 24 16:41:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86wlyx/supersize_v_superskinny_on_ch4/
---
So many questions.
Is there a subreddit/forum on this show? I can't stop watching and have so many opinions on every episode.
I'm aware that the BBC is publicly funded, and that the NHS is as well.
So it makes sense that shows like this are produced in order to address the obesity issue in the UK. Ours in the US is way worse, so I wish we had content like this available to the public!
The bits with Anna Richardson are sort of stale, tbh, but I wish I could watch the food lab/diet swap exclusively.
Anyone else into this show? I found it when I was on a Youtube binge of Secret Eaters. I'm so interested in watching people break through their denial.
Is there a similar show im missing out on?
[Discussion] Weight and sexual harassment
/u/peppermintschnapps55 [BMI 23 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 16:33:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86wk64/weight_and_sexual_harassment/
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(On mobile tag as discussion) have any of you noticed that the amount of sexual harassment you receive varies wildly depending on your weight? When I was overweight I got left alone most of the time. I thought maybe it was my weight or maybe partially the way I dressed. Nope. 100% my weight. I can go out in sweatpants and three day greasy hair and Iāll still get guys catcalling me from their cars or even just on the street. A few weeks ago I even had a guy try to follow me. Generally Iām happy that Iām thinner but Jesus Christ, i am so sick of this. Have any of you had similar experiences?
[Rant/Rave] My parents are forcing me into treatment.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 24 16:04:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86wdoj/my_parents_are_forcing_me_into_treatment/
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[deleted]
[Help] Getting past that "clear watery goop" stage of purging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 24 15:10:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86w0v4/getting_past_that_clear_watery_goop_stage_of/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86w0v4/getting_past_that_clear_watery_goop_stage_of/
[Discussion] I am gonna reach my goal weight for good. (An update)
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 25F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 15:03:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86vz7y/i_am_gonna_reach_my_goal_weight_for_good_an_update/
---
So I moved country, turned my life upside down, I gained a load of weight (last scale measurement read 62kg) and I'm working on getting it back down. People are starting to admit to me now that I've gained weight when they used to tell me that I hadn't.
I'm eating 1200 calories a day again, even though these last few days have been a bit bingey, I've almost completed the first round of PIIT28 and tomorrow is actually the last day. I am going to make April an amazing month. I was 62kg last April I think, because that's when I went to Paris (I remember being pissed off I wasn't 58kg yet haha)
My boyfriend actually told me that I looked leaner!!! We started going out in February, and he met me mid-January which is when I was at my heaviest. He is proud of me for sticking with the workout and healthy eating. Bless him. If only he knew.
I am currently eating on a daily basis:
Breakfast: porridge (120-130kcal)
Snacks: bananas (121kcal each - I usually have 2 a day), porridge in the evening if I get hungry (120-130kcal again...depends on the brand)
Lunch: rice, green beans and either soy sauce or sriracha (350kcal ish)
Dinner: same as lunch or rice, mushrooms and onions (fried in water not in oil) (350kcal ish again)
This takes me to around 1200-1300kcal. I also walk over 10k steps a day (we average at about 14k) and do a PIIT workout every morning. Apart from rest days. 1200-1300kcal is quite high for me but it gives me a lot less stress.
I think my goals for restarting PIIT again on Monday are the following:
- Stay at 1200-1300kcal
- Spend more time doing things for myself - I get less stressed and this means that I don't binge/overeat whatever. I hate it when people want me to do things with them and we then end up in a restaurant.
- Don't take money with me - that way even if the binge monster strikes, it can go fuck off because I can't satiate it.
- Drink 2 glasses of water a day. I'm a pain in the ass for just surviving on coke zero.
- Sleep for 7 hours a night.
I am aiming for 50kg. I reckon I weigh around 63kg now. I'm too scared to weigh myself. I'm going to go with how my clothes feel. That's safer in my opinion. I won't spiral then.
What are lines you won't cross with your ED?
/u/_what_the_truck [Height 5'4 | CW 127 | LW: 103 | GW: 110 | Gender F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 14:49:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86vvq8/what_are_lines_you_wont_cross_with_your_ed/
---
I know it's different for everyone. Lines I won't cross:
-purging--don't want to fuck up my teeth and stomach
-taking adderall--watched my sister get addicted so never for me.
Lines I have crossed:
-Took crazy internet appetite suppressants that gave me migraines
-Fasted when I knew it would throw me into a depression
-used party drugs as an excuse not to eat
Hbu?
[Rant/Rave] I want to have literally no butt
/u/ELESH_NORN_DAMNIT
Created: Sat Mar 24 14:44:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86vulj/i_want_to_have_literally_no_butt/
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So like I hate all the "usual suspect" body parts people do, stuff like fat stomach and thighs and everything, but I honestly really hate my butt more than just about anything. I am one of those people worrying about breasts sagging or getting smaller but I can't sympathize at all with wanting to have a normal butt or whatever. I seriously just want it to go away.
The last guy I was with was just ass-obsessed, eating ass and anal sex and everything, and I hated every minute of that. Aside from just being totally unarousing and disgusting to me in general the anal sex in particular just felt so awful to me, it gave me chills all over my body and made me feel like my organs were twisting around inside me. Extremely painful no matter what we tried, it would put me on the brink of tears. And even though I hated it so, so much I would go along with it all the time because he said he would dump me if I didn't and my self esteem was so low I didn't think I could get anyone else. Half the reason I started restricting was because I figured if I wasn't fat it wouldn't be such an uphill battle to find a guy willing to go out with me.
But I'm just so afraid to put myself out there again because I'm afraid so many guys are like this now and all this awful ass stuff has become normalized. If I thought a guy had any interest in that at all it would honestly probably be a deal-breaker for me. I want to be skinny enough that I just have no ass and I hope that will just keep them all away from me forever and I can forget that this ever happened to me.
I know I'm fucked up but I just want to get this off my chest, uggghhh
[Discussion] new here and wondering if anyone else drinks most of daily calories
/u/gone2mountains
Created: Sat Mar 24 14:39:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86vt8o/new_here_and_wondering_if_anyone_else_drinks_most/
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I try to not eat much and drink most of my calories and workout. That is how Ive maintained my weight in the last year. I had knee surgery 8 weeks ago and got a DUI 34 days ago. My two biggest life coping skills, drinking alcohol and training. These both are gone and Im wondering if there is anyone else here that drinks a shit load of the daily calories and tries not to eat.
[Rant/Rave] I lost my abs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 24 14:29:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86vqzd/i_lost_my_abs/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Iām back.
/u/i-want-to-be-little [5ā2ā | LW: 109.5 | CW: 119.4 | 18F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 13:31:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86vd81/im_back/
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Two months ago after I nearly passed out twice on my way to the gym, I said āfuck youā to my ED and tried to recover. Screw that. I gained ten pounds over the past two months. I need to be back at 110 again and Iām trying to figure out how to stop going over my calorie limits. I canāt exercise for a week because I have a concussion, so all I can do is restrict.
Whatās helped you get back on track?
[Rant/Rave] Eugenia Cooney... I cant
/u/ReversedHierophant
Created: Sat Mar 24 13:10:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86v84a/eugenia_cooney_i_cant/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone have good/bad experiences on bupropion (generic Wellbutrin)
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 13:05:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86v6pl/anyone_have_goodbad_experiences_on_bupropion/
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I just started yesterday. I've heard from some people they eat less on it anyway since it can affect appetite. I've also heard it can affect electrolytes or be affected by electrolyte imbalance (which is why a lot of people who purge are not prescribed it due to risk of seizure).
I guess I'm curious, since even people who don't have an ED report eating less, I'm guessing light restriction may not be a huge risk. If anyone has had good or bad experiences on it in terms of taking it as someone with an ED or if it helped your mental health, I'd like to hear! I've read some people saying it really helped them, others saying it did nothing or made things worse. For me, it's too soon to tell. Thanks!
Also I have insulin resistant PCOS, if that's an extra component anyone wanted to know.
My son called me fat last night.
/u/throwmeinthetrash08
Created: Sat Mar 24 12:58:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86v4yg/my_son_called_me_fat_last_night/
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So my 5 year old told me I am fat. I had a baby in 2016 and some of the weight won't fall off like it did with my first. I have about 20-25 pounds that I need to loose, at least! I would really like to loose 30-35 though. I am no good at eating healthy and I don't have a healthy relationship with food. I feel like the only way I am going to see results is to restrict calories. I know it's a dangerous path but I feel like I have to do something. My husband is sweet and says I still look good but I know I don't. I feel repulsive and I just want to feel attractive again. Literally NONE of my clothes fit and it makes me hate myself. I have decided that tomorrow I am going to being restricting. Hopefully it works. I am scared of ending up in a binge and purge cycle, that's my biggest fear. I feel like there is no one I can talk to about this. I feel like if I do talk to anyone they will tell me I am being silly. I'm feeling very frustrated right now.
[Rant/Rave] BEETS
/u/honeybrownbunny
Created: Sat Mar 24 11:47:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86un2d/beets/
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For under 100 calories I can consume enough beets to make me physically sick from being full AND induce a bowel movement B-)
Obsession taking over my mind
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 24 10:39:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86u6lv/obsession_taking_over_my_mind/
---
I am a dynamic person, I have a good job, I fire dance, I write poetry, I sing and write songs etc. But about two weeks ago after a b/p I found thinspo and I have been barely thinking of anything else. Its the first thing I do when I wAke up now when it was writing before. I remember in the thin documentary the girl saying "I used to have a personality" ugh. I still want to have my personality I just need to be thin too. Im 135 pounds and I am OVER being fat. Maybe this is just becAuse I just broke up with my bf. Blah! I like it tho
[Tip] Any fasting tips?
/u/Tatiharris9386
Created: Sat Mar 24 10:34:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86u5hp/any_fasting_tips/
---
[removed]
[Goal] For the first time in my life, I fully believe that someone loves me and thinks my feelings are always valid.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 140 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 10:31:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86u4qj/for_the_first_time_in_my_life_i_fully_believe/
---
My best friend and I had a huge argument today, and it went similarly to how it always goes when I am the one to bring up an issue. Btw my friend and I started out dating, but recently I decided that I don't know what kind of relationship I want with them, so I'm just calling them my best friend for now, because that is accurate. The arguments that start with me bringing up an issue I have always start with me saying my issue, and then my friend explains themselves, and then I get mad because I feel like they are making excuses, and the cycle continues. Today's argument ended terribly. But then right after, a lot of what had been said in this specific argument (along with thinking about the past 2 years that we've known each other) clicked for me. My friend immediately explains themselves **because they automatically accept my feelings as valid and just don't say anything because they've done that for their entire life. They aren't used to someone like me who has never felt like anyone automatically accepts her feelings as valid.** I cried really hard and felt so guilty and sorry for all the times my trust issues has made me hurt them. They thankfully called back, and I apologized through my sobs, and they cried, and we both were so healed by that realization of mine. I'm 26, and this is the first time in my life that I've fully believed someone loves me and automatically and inherently accepts my feelings as valid. I just wanted to share this with you all, because I know most of us struggle with similar issues to this. Hang in there, everyone <3
[Rant/Rave] What the crap happened to MFP!? Has anyone had this happen to them after completing a diary entry??
/u/Thynnmintz [5'10''| CW 279 |-5 lbs |GW 154| 25 F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 10:26:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86u3g9/what_the_crap_happened_to_mfp_has_anyone_had_this/
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https://i.redd.it/ykwmfw2omqn01.jpg
[Discussion] Do ice baths really work?
/u/EvenRainbowsScream
Created: Sat Mar 24 10:17:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86u1be/do_ice_baths_really_work/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] showed my boss an old photo of me today where i was about 15-20 kilos heavier
/u/robotseventynine
Created: Sat Mar 24 09:42:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86tt1l/showed_my_boss_an_old_photo_of_me_today_where_i/
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[removed]
been plateauing since monday??
/u/tsumanne [5'4" | 135 | 23.2| -19 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 09:01:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86tju2/been_plateauing_since_monday/
---
[removed]
[Help] PANIC. Gained 3,3 pounds in five days HELP.
/u/Lunnaris [5' | CW: 134,4 | UGW: 110,2 | 24F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 09:00:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86tjis/panic_gained_33_pounds_in_five_days_help/
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I was so happy because I was slowly getting there by high restriction (a sandwich or a cookie a day + two types of weight loss pills) but I went on holiday for five weeks and I had to pretend so I ate a lot and I put on 1ā5kg. Iām shaking. Now I need to get used to fasting again or maybe try low kcal meals ??? I donāt know please help.
[Rant/Rave] I never thought I'd get this bad, but here I am.
/u/skydiver89 [5'4" CW 133 GW 125 UGW 115]
Created: Sat Mar 24 08:55:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86ti8i/i_never_thought_id_get_this_bad_but_here_i_am/
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[removed]
Iāve been losing but still feel fat?
/u/yayokittenxo
Created: Sat Mar 24 08:26:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86tbwu/ive_been_losing_but_still_feel_fat/
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I lost weight but when i bend down or just in general i feel my belly feeling all fat and icky, Iāve been losing despite b/ping 2-3 times recently. Maybe itās bloating? I donāt know but Iām scared that Iām just really fat despite losing so Iām hoping itās bloating from laxatives and purging. I took 10 in like 3 days (really bad ik) so Iām probably retaining water weight. Someone please help me get some idea of whatās going on because Iām really anxious. Iām either delusional or retaining water weight.
[Help] I just binged a megaton and couldnāt purge any out...why???!!
/u/FluffyWof
Created: Sat Mar 24 06:14:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86snlw/i_just_binged_a_megaton_and_couldnt_purge_any/
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[removed]
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! March 24, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 24 06:11:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86smzt/stupid_questions_saturday_march_24_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for March 24, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 24, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 24 06:10:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86smyf/daily_food_diary_march_24_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 24, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] What do you think about subliminals?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [170| 54| 18.6|f]
Created: Sat Mar 24 05:07:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86sdrk/what_do_you_think_about_subliminals/
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https://youtu.be/_wXzOio7Qu0
What did it take for you to tell your partner?
/u/TheOrgazoid99
Created: Sat Mar 24 05:07:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86sdqk/what_did_it_take_for_you_to_tell_your_partner/
---
Especially if you relapsed or developed an ED during the relationship (so presumably they werenāt receiving live updates)?
I was supposed to stop this when I got to my GW (I was very aware thatās not how EDs work but was happily deluding myself). Now Iāve reached my GW and I want to stop but I donāt know if I can. But I want to get better by myself. I donāt want to tell him any of the stupid and/or gross things I do. I donāt want to worry him. I donāt want him to interfere.
What was your āah fuck I canāt keep this in anymore, I canāt deal with this aloneā moment?
Sorry mods - mobile as always - discussion
[Help] Horrible headache + fatigue + dry eyes
/u/steamedbun_27 [165cm | too much / GW: 53kg | idk | -27kg | F]
Created: Sat Mar 24 04:39:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86s9zz/horrible_headache_fatigue_dry_eyes/
---
Hey guys. So I've been restricting and I cycle my cals (3 days 500, 4 days 800) and I've just started but I feel like crap. I keep getting horrible headaches, fatigue and my eyes are sooooo dry. I took a lax yesterday, and thought that I was probably dehydrated because of it. I also drank broth and water. I'm not sure why I am still feeling hammered. Any ideas?
3lbs in one day
/u/Use2haveApersonality
Created: Sat Mar 24 04:27:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86s8eg/3lbs_in_one_day/
---
As you can probably tell this is a throwaway account, but I lost 3 pounds yesterday. Apparently I burned 555 calories from walking, and I had about 800, give or take. So yeah I know this is probably water weight but it feels damn good.
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel annoyed by this new obsession with lifting weights
/u/little-paws
Created: Sat Mar 24 03:38:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86s24y/dae_feel_annoyed_by_this_new_obsession_with/
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I say 'new', but I just mean it seems over the past couple of years that lifting has become much more of a mainstream gym activity for people, not just huge men.
I see people constantly recommending lifting as though it's the holy grail of exercise. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for anyone who has found something that works for them, but it feels like it's just another aesthetic that I'll never reach.
I read a lot of people suggesting that cardio isn't good enough to get a nice body, that your body will look so much better if you start lifting, blah blah... Like okay my body will not look nice ever!
Sorry this was just a little ramble, feeling quite demotivated at the moment.
Iāve gained weight and I donāt want to see anybody in case they notice
/u/Rach_McAwesome
Created: Sat Mar 24 03:12:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86ryxc/ive_gained_weight_and_i_dont_want_to_see_anybody/
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I have plans with my friends today and my family tomorrow, I donāt want them to notice how much weight Iāve gained but itās difficult to hide, especially around the thighs and bum area. Itās really causing me a lot of anxiety. I wish there was something I could do to look slimmer. Iām wearing control underwear, and high heels to make my thighs look slimmer, but itās not enough. Iām almost panicking at the thought of seeing anybody. Iām so frustrated that thereās nothing I can do.
[Discussion] Binging or treating yourself
/u/Sb22312 [170 cm| 134 | 21.05|-16lb]
Created: Sat Mar 24 02:53:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86rwnw/binging_or_treating_yourself/
---
How do you guys class the difference between a binge and like wanting to treat yourself
[Rant/Rave] The misguided helpful comments.
/u/Startled_Butterfly [5'5" | CW 126 | GW 108 | LW 108 | 21.2]
Created: Sat Mar 24 02:25:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86rtc0/the_misguided_helpful_comments/
---
My husband knows all I do is binge on fast food, restrict, repeat. He gets that I want to be skinny, like how I always was until the end of last year. When we got together I was BMI 18.3 and so confident in myself. All I wanted to do was skip around in one of his shirts and some underwear. Lol no one wants to skip when they can feel their love handles flapping like bird wings.
And I think he's starting to understand that how I feel about myself isn't super logical, in that it doesn't really help for HIM to be attracted to me if I'M not attracted to me.
But for several months it was comments like, "Your butt is getting big... Your hamburger diet is working," and other comments about how parts of me are getting bigger and he likes it. He says that stuff to be nice, and maybe because he really does like how I look now, but every time he says something like that I suddenly feel as huge and dense as a neutron star.
I told him I don't like to be called big, or any part of me to be called big, so now he uses "small" adjectives instead and it just feels fake. All future compliments ruined by a big butt comment made four months ago. The big butt comment that cleared my head tonight when alllllllll I wanted was to eat.
So today I just had a pork chop, some carrots, a cup of macaroni, and Dr Pepper for wakefulness. Closing out way under TDEE, today was a success and I'm excited to weigh myself tomorrow morning. Thanks, husband. :P
How can i get out of the habit of purging?
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | high | large | Gender: death]
Created: Sat Mar 24 01:53:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86rpa7/how_can_i_get_out_of_the_habit_of_purging/
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I'm a low carb high fat vegan at college.
**ALL** the options in the dining halls are high carb in the morning (I've tried.) so my breakfast is always high carb.
So then I throw it up, but then later on I'm craving carbs because I had a taste in the morning, and then the purge cycle continues.
Its gotten so bad I wake up at noon every day to avoid this cycle, but then I miss a TON of classes.
*I really need to go to my class tomorrow morning*
...but if I do - I'll purge all day :(
[Other] i didn't weigh myself tonight because i knew it'd be inflammatory
/u/cheeruphoney [155cm | 91.6kg š]
Created: Fri Mar 23 23:42:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86r6vz/i_didnt_weigh_myself_tonight_because_i_knew_itd/
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i havent weighed myself in a long time, and instead gauge how thin i am based on my thigh gap and how show-y my ribcage is which is.. fine to me maybe. weighing myself usually puts me into a very bad headspace and i dont really like how i look currently but avoided doing so on the basis of nearly being on my period (bloat) eating (food and water weight) and knowing that it just.. wouldnt be a good idea for my headspace?
its not a big deal maybe..its a very very small thing but i think its good that i still do have..or have more specifically gotten back some control over my impulsions which is.. a very good amount of why i have EDs in the first place. i had a phase in my ed last year where i would purge anything i ate in absolute fear of the number on the scale, gaining weight, water-weight or so be it and looking or god forbid getting heavier so sometimes self moderation like this is nice
i feel okay maybe
my ed is rooted in very many things inside me some of which i will never be rid of but being able to take back the reigns of it even in stressful times did make me feel a little better tonight. im not in recovery but my body does deserve care, i think
sorry for the mostly useless blog post everyone
[Other] Feel better
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 23:22:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86r3u2/feel_better/
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https://i.redd.it/7lm1o955cnn01.png
[Rant/Rave] A RAMBLE (and also does anyone restrict before their period?)
/u/kingarthersixties
Created: Fri Mar 23 23:10:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86r1xl/a_ramble_and_also_does_anyone_restrict_before/
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Ok, so I'm afraid to eat certain things but not others???? Like I have to go to some italian restaurant tomorrow and I don't want to eat anything and im stressed!!! but today I ate a cinnamon roll and a cookie without feeling anything. What the fuck lmao. Can anyone relate to this djskdjdkd. I think it might be because it's so heavy?? idk it really makes no sense. It's more of like a gut feeling?
Also, my first real restriction thing started like a month or two ago, but I've been looking back and I've been restricting for like a week before my period? Idk what that means. Like every month for a little bit I just don't want to eat and I'll restrict. This leaves and then I eat normal afterwards until the next month. The only time I binged was after last month's restriction because I've never gone that extreme? IDK JUST A RAMBLE
OH ALSO!!!! Today I was going to eat more crackers but I told myself no and BAM no crackers gg nerds
[Help] I just wanna stop
/u/blood-n-caffiene
Created: Fri Mar 23 22:50:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86qypt/i_just_wanna_stop/
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I just had a pretty bad binge. Killed half a jar of almond butter and a bit of peanut butter, the remainder of my SkinnyPop mini popcorn cakes and some salsa, so I chugged some water and immediately ran to the bathroom and purged that shit as best as I could. I feel terrible. I donāt think I got even half of it out. I know some of the nut butters came out, and a bit of the popcorn cakes. Ugh, I gotta cut this shit out.
I want to purge, but I'm making this post instead.
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | CW oops | GW 93lbs | š inconceivable ]
Created: Fri Mar 23 22:36:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86qweh/i_want_to_purge_but_im_making_this_post_instead/
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I just binged. I want to purge so so so badly. I'm a week purge free, and I am not ready to give up quite yet. So, here are some concrete reasons I will NOT purge right now:
1) I'm predisposed for esophageal cancer, and purging will only increase the risk.
2) I am a dental hygiene QUEEN. Why work so hard to maintain my teeth cleaning routine if I'm just going to ruin my teeth?
3) Purging has actually been hindering my progress! I overeat just a tiny bit, and decide I might as well binge to make purging "worth it." If I remove purging as an option, perhaps my binges will be less frequent and less severe.
4) I work as a preschool teacher. I've been restricting pretty hard lately, and I've noticed that I've lost a bit of the energy I need to do my job well. I can already feel my body responding positively to the nutrients I just gave it. I will be grateful for the temporary boost in energy.
Post your reasons not to purge!
[Rant/Rave] I don't understand where I belong- am I healthy? Do I have an ED? UGH.
/u/onegoalfullcontrol
Created: Fri Mar 23 22:07:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86qrd8/i_dont_understand_where_i_belong_am_i_healthy_do/
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I come to this site for... something, I don't know what. I used to do the whole restrict/binge cycle. After a while I got binge eating disorder. Now I've lost all feeling and I think I eat a normal amount but I don't know how much and I don't care. I have disordered thoughts but idk if that's leftover from before or if I continue to have a ED. I just want to feel. I want to lose weight still, despite gaining weight. I've given up on losing weight but I still wish I could. I wish I had some feeling back, so it could motivate me into restricing. I don't know if I am numb + non ED, or if I am fake ED by coming here all the time for no reason, or if I have an ED. I am really confused. whatever.
[Discussion] What are your favorite Bai flavors?
/u/patriotsfan4life [5'2 | CW: 100 | GW: 70 | 14F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 22:04:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86qqy5/what_are_your_favorite_bai_flavors/
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I tried Bai drinks for the first time today. I tried the San Paulo strawberry lemonade, and it's surprisingly good and only has 10 cal per bottle. I also have the peach iced tea flavor in my fridge, which I'm going to try tomorrow, so I'm really excited for that.
What's your favorite / least favorite flavor of Bai? Do you have any other lower-calorie drink brands to recommend? Please comment below- I'd love to hear from you all! :)
Fucking meetings
/u/TheOrgazoid99
Created: Fri Mar 23 22:01:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86qqcr/fucking_meetings/
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Not strictly ED-related as thereās some bonus gender dysphoria thrown in. Tag as help please!
Aaaargh I have a work meeting on Monday I had completely forgot about. Itās company-wide so will have all my coworkers, managers, ceo, etc there. We usually contract out to locations so see clients heaps but hardly ever coworkers. Itās an odd setup but it works well.
Since starting I have lost 18lb and chopped off 2/3 of my hair. I love wearing gender neutral layers but itās summer and so hot š all the men wear chino shorts (which would look unprofessional and childish on me) and all the women wear thin floaty skirts and singlets (which just makes me feel so unbearably uncomfortable). I donāt want weight loss to be obvious š¬
Anyone (preferably fellow not-out NB/trans people) have advice for wardrobes in a āsmart casualā environment??
That moment when people tell you you're looking skinny
/u/Uppity-Kitten [5'2" | CW: 69kg |BMI27| 6kg| GW50kg | 21F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 21:56:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86qpc5/that_moment_when_people_tell_you_youre_looking/
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Weight loss after ED recovery
/u/anotherfatty
Created: Fri Mar 23 21:18:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86qi5g/weight_loss_after_ed_recovery/
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I know this post isnāt in the spirit of this sub but I donāt know where to post it. This community was really helpful to me in my most unhappy times and I still read it occasionally as I feel no one understands me quite as well.
I think Iām mostly recovered from an eating disorder that began as a diet when I was obese. Im much happier than I was then it of course my biggest fear came true: I got fat. I want and need to lose weight and feel Iām finally ready to try but so much of what is advised normally puts me in dangerous territory of slipping back into my ED brain. Specifically calorie counting and cardio.
Do any of you know of any resources for people with EDs trying to do it the āright way?ā
[Rant/Rave] I'm a captive of my body and I want out.
/u/FromMyIvoryTower [5'2 | CW: 95 | BMI: 18 | GW: 70 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 21:00:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86qepq/im_a_captive_of_my_body_and_i_want_out/
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I'm probably going to binge tonight, because I feel like shit and I have no self-control. Regardless of whether I become an emaciated corpse or not, I'll have to drag this disgusting hunk of flesh around for the rest of my life. When people look at me, they'll never be able to see me. I hate my shapeless face covered in blackheads and pimples and my massive slobbery lips, I hate my cheek pouches and my creepy fucking monotone voice that gets me mistaken for a man, I hate my hawkish nose that juts out of my doughy blob of a face. I never want to leave my room again.
[Help] I think my mom has an ED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 23 20:46:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86qbxy/i_think_my_mom_has_an_ed/
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[deleted]
[Other] New ED forum for you guys to try out [MPA alternative]
/u/MissNietzsche
Created: Fri Mar 23 20:45:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86qbvf/new_ed_forum_for_you_guys_to_try_out_mpa/
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Hi guys,
I know a lot of you guys aren't in favor of myproana.com. And those who do use it should be well aware of the annoying glitches that have been occurring with the site for the past several months.
So, as a solution, some members have created an alternative to MPA. It's a much, much smaller community, so I thought r/proED would be pretty receptive to it.
Welcome:
http://www.mypancakeaddiction.com/index.php
The flu fast!
/u/HarmonyDawn
Created: Fri Mar 23 20:44:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86qbm1/the_flu_fast/
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Havent really been able to fast because I work a physically demanding job where I have to lift a little boy in and out of his wheel chair several times a day. But I have been wanting to spend a whole day with out food and now that im home sick, I can! Yaaaay. I'll take what I can get, but honestly feel like doodoo and will be happy to be over this. The crazy thing is that I feel like most people in my condition wouldn't want to eat, like it would be easy. They wouldn't even consciously think about it they would just do it, but Im like having to talk myself away from the kitchen.
[Rant/Rave] Iām so fucking fat and over it
/u/Hollyfoot [5ā9ā | 95lbs]
Created: Fri Mar 23 20:44:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86qbgo/im_so_fucking_fat_and_over_it/
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After four years of purging daily, I finally reached out to a professional for help.
My flair is a lie; Iām up to 110 fucking pounds. My stomach is protruding like a pig. My arms are sausages and I fucking hate everything about everything.
I donāt know what I want anymore. I used to think I looked gross as a 95lb skeleton but now at 110lbs I feel a loss of pride.
Iām also drunk so thatās probably not helping.
Another thing; I had mouth surgery and popped a stitch while purging because Iām a fuckwad.
Jesus Christ Iām a fucking mess.
[Other] Mind blown
/u/Thynnmintz [5'10''| CW 279 |-5 lbs |GW 154| 25 F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 20:18:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86q6ac/mind_blown/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Jealousy while watching movies
/u/bearantennae8611
Created: Fri Mar 23 19:49:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86q080/jealousy_while_watching_movies/
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Does anyone else get irrationally jealous when watching a movie, and some topless woman gets up out of bed, and you can see her spineāeven while sheās just sitting up and not bent over? This is a back shot, of course. I get this wave of annoyance that wells up inside of me. The woman usually isnāt even crazy thin. I donāt get it. It kinda pisses me off, and I donāt know why.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like a fucking fake
/u/sexqueenofficial
Created: Fri Mar 23 19:30:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86pw72/i_feel_like_a_fucking_fake/
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I feel like I fake this. I have a fake eating disorder. Itās for attention. Even though Iām so humiliated about it and only very few of my closest friends know about it and I donāt discuss it with them ever. I hate it. I feel so fucking ashamed and like Iām a liar. I was good for a while but I can feel it coming back. The fucking obsessive thoughts. Iāve eaten three bagels today. THREE. Right now Iām sitting in my car alone at night eating chips with cheese dip thatās fucking disgusting. I had a chocolate bar and liquorice too. Thatās after a full dinner. I feel like Iām getting out fo control again. I hate this. Iām crying over my old bf who I BROKE UP WITH six months ago and have been totally fine until recently. Fuck this.
I just feel like such a fucking fake.
Sorry if this is fucked Iām on mobile and have never posted before.
[Rant/Rave] I am so tired of this cycle...
/u/luxiocharms [5'2"| 113lbs |F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 19:29:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86pvxe/i_am_so_tired_of_this_cycle/
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So for months I've suffered from IBS-C. I use laxatives often, and still I am always bloated, pudgy, etc. Starting back in August, I stopped eating normally, with extreme restrictions and midnight binges, on top of /severe/ laxative use. I was not happy, and I still am not happy. I see myself in the mirror everyday and I am so disappointed. However, my dad was discussing with me the failure of my bowels and concluded (he works in the medical profession) that nothing is working because I simply do not eat enough, so I have been trying really hard to not be so calorie-neurotic, as well as eat a "healthy" amount. Today, so far an okay day, my mom says to me "are you really going to eat all that?" and I just snapped. I want to throw up. I want to start skipping my meals again. I want to somehow regain control again by succumbing to these dark desires I know make me miserable. I just need to rant and drink my tea, I suppose. Tomorrow I am restricting. I feel like a pig.
[Rant/Rave] MFP is making me lose my mind
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 23 18:56:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86pp4v/mfp_is_making_me_lose_my_mind/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Howās everyoneās week going?
/u/pickles023 [5'6"|CW: 130|BMI: 21.07|GW: 110|22 F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 17:48:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86p9rl/hows_everyones_week_going/
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Iāve had a shitty binge week. But how about you guys?
[Rant/Rave] He called me tiny today
/u/Firerose157 [5'4" | ~118 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 15:59:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86oig5/he_called_me_tiny_today/
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Boyfriend was hugging me, arms wrapped all around my waist, and said "you're so tiny!". You know what that means lmao, feeling little self-conscious so it's nice to hear those comments about my body/weight, but still f's with me a bit lol, ya know?
[Rant/Rave] Calorie shocker. Lunch edition.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 23 15:37:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86ocwo/calorie_shocker_lunch_edition/
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[deleted]
Hungry? About to give up on your fast? Watch these
/u/Burlesqua [š· 5'4'' | CW:108 (fluctuates) | BMI:18 | 20/F š·]
Created: Fri Mar 23 15:20:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86o8ou/hungry_about_to_give_up_on_your_fast_watch_these/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Another post abt the THIN girlies
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 23 15:03:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86o4k5/another_post_abt_the_thin_girlies/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Don't really know what to say
/u/DrRobotniksMachine
Created: Fri Mar 23 14:21:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86nssb/dont_really_know_what_to_say/
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I stumbled across this sub recently, brings me back to my livejournal days.
My life has been a bit self destructive again recently but in lieu of self harm and drugs I've unknowingly opted for restricting. It started off innocently as a weight loss thing (my medication made me gain loads) but now I can see I'm getting into bad habits of fasting, then b/p.
I know what I'm doing is so bad for me but I don't want to let it go. It takes me away from everything but then it makes everything worse. It's like there's another level of shame and self hatred on top of my over flowing pile.
But I have lost 6kg so far this month... And it's so ... rewarding? It's bad but it's so good.
I feel like I'm at least achieving something.
So here I am
[Rant/Rave] I just donāt even know anymore and I need to rant
/u/worsethanbecksloser
Created: Fri Mar 23 13:43:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86ni7z/i_just_dont_even_know_anymore_and_i_need_to_rant/
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Sorry for bothering anyone, first of all.
You know that feeling when you get a grip of your life and everything starts to feel better but then you realise you donāt and the world comes crashing down? Thatās where I am.
I thought I had a handle on all of this and that it was just a weird phase I had because of anxiety yet here I am.
We ordered take out at work and I would have been fine, so I thought yet I felt terrible. An unexplainable terrible and I felt foul. I ate the pizza anyway but I just couldnāt shake the anxiety and I was back to square one; constantly questioning if this was even real.
Sure there was a period in the last year when I would take 10+ laxatives to lose weight overnight and I didnāt mind how painful it was, all that mattered was that the scale was lower than the previous day and all evidence of bad behaviour was gone. But I thought Iād got better- as in I wanted to take them again but never did.
Yet here I am, writing this, after having purged orally for the first time- and lord you guys werenāt wrong, sure my stomach isnāt empty now but it doesnāt feel bloated and I feel good about it.
Yet this anxious part of me doesnāt want to speak to my GP because of this fear theyāll tell me this isnāt real, that itās some lie Iāve made up and I donāt even know anymore. I mean aside from what just happened- which part of me still wants to continue, because I know thereās still shit in there
I just needed this all off my chest. I hate this so much. I feel like a fraud and Iām losing it.
[Help] SOS I'm going to a dessert/chocolate restaurant tonight and I'm FREAKING THE FUCK OUT
/u/germ_the_worm [5'1 | CW: 109 | GW: 95 | 19F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 13:20:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86nc5o/sos_im_going_to_a_dessertchocolate_restaurant/
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I apologize if these posts are super annoying but I'm really panicking and I could use a little help
I'm meeting a friend at [this place](https://en.julietteetchocolat.com/pages/menu) tonight and I have no clue what to order. Nothing seems safe but I don't want to not get anything and sit there awkwardly. Bonus: my friend is visiting from out of town and I'm the one who suggested we go here. Fucking brilliant move on my part.
I'm thinking about maybe doing the fruit fondue for one and just picking at the fruit?? Or maybe suggest that we split something and then take a bite or two and let her eat the rest?? Would it be weird if I just ordered coffee and not a dessert?
The hilariously ironic thing is that I've been eyeing this place for MONTHS and now I finally have the opportunity to go and I'm so anxious I could cry. Fuck this disorder. Fuck everything.
[Rant/Rave] I fucking binger 3900 CALORIES today
/u/huumekuriiri [5'6'' | 132 | -15 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 12:42:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86n1gm/i_fucking_binger_3900_calories_today/
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I haven't been this disgusted with myself in a long time. My stomach is so full I think it'll explode, I want to purge SO BAD but I'm a weak bitch so apparently we're not doing that. I'm supposed to go to a party tonight & I don't know if drinking alcohol on top of this is a good idea since I don't want to immediately puke in front of everyone. I fasted for 33 hours prior to this and I was soo proud of myself but apparently my "reward" for the fasting went way too far since I have no fucking self control. I hate myself right now.
At Starbucks
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 23 12:29:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86mxm3/at_starbucks/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86mxm3/at_starbucks/
[Rant/Rave] So I went to the ER on Monday for dehydration.
/u/star-of-morning [5'2" | went to treatment | send help | 24F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 12:12:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86msjn/so_i_went_to_the_er_on_monday_for_dehydration/
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My mom and psychiatrist were really concerned about my ED coming out again and they told me to go to the ER for dehydration amongst other things. They took my vitals, did blood work, and gave me a bag full of IV fluids. My blood work was fine, aside from my glucose levels, which is expected.
Prior to this I hadn't eaten in over 48 hours. Since Monday I've been drinking one 8 oz bottle of Ensure per day. So that's 220 calories a day. My roommate has an ED and knows I'm relapsing. She ordered donuts yesterday morning and I ate a cronut - the first solid food I've had since Saturday. I didn't eat anything else all day because cronuts are like, 600 calories and half the calories come from carbs and the other half from fat.
Usually I weight myself every day but because of the IV fluids I skipped my daily weigh-ins until today, assuming the IV fluids would be washed out because IV fluids obviously add water weight.
I only lost 1.6 pounds this week. WTF. Usually when I'm restricting, even at 500 calories a day, I lose 3.5 pounds a week. I'm so upset and frustrated. Are the IV fluids still in my system? Is it the FUCKING cronut that made me gain weight.
I'm just upset and discouraged. I hoped to have lost at least 2 pounds since Monday. I have no idea what's going on with my body. Fuck that cronut. Fuck that IV fluid.
I'm just going to stick with my 220 calories of Ensure every day. My roommate is off today so hopefully she isn't going to order shitty food that makes my mind and body feel shitty. She's been binging a LOT lately so the chances of her ordering food is gonna be pretty high.
[Discussion] Does anyone else get really anxious about eating out and calorie accuracy?
/u/idk56177
Created: Fri Mar 23 12:05:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86mqj1/does_anyone_else_get_really_anxious_about_eating/
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Getting ready to go to chipotle with my bf soon. I canāt not eat because he will literally pester me until I eat something. Does anyone know if Chipotleās calories are accurate? I feel like thereās way more calories than it states on the website.
[Discussion] Advice please!
/u/sentientdippindots
Created: Fri Mar 23 11:03:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86m91q/advice_please/
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Hey friends, it's been a minute since I posted on here but I need some advice and it's not like I can ask my in person friends lol.
So I'm doing okay right now, not in my binge or restrict cycles and I've been hitting around 1200 a day, I don't think I'm recovered and know how I function that I will prob fall back into restriction before long (probably when my husband deploys) but the point is right now I am not there. I'm in an okay spot mental health wise right now, which is odd for me to say, but this cocktail of meds is doing okay. Anywho, for the issue at hand:
So my husbands best friend/military buddy has a new girlfriend. She's young, pretty and I like her, I genuinely do, but she clearly has an ed (though she just giggles if you call it an ed) and she's loud, proud and seems to love to talk about it. She only eats every other day, and even then she says its controlled. I have met her ONCE and it seemed like she needed to make sure we all knew about it, and in the span of 5 hours (dinner and board game night) she mentioned it 5 times. It made me really uncomfortable how excited to tell everyone she was and how much she seemed to want to chat about it. I feel like if I spend too much time with this girl I am going to slip back into restriction quick, but I know we are going to ask to spend time with them and I don't want to be a jerk and say I can't be around her. I feel like this girl is bad for my mental health, which feels very selfish to say and I simply don't know what to do....any advice?
[Discussion] I feel disgusting at over 190 lb and I have so much to lose. Anyone else start restricting at a similar weight? I need inspiration please.
/u/NuttyNectarine [5'7.5" | CW 197 | BMI 30 | GW 145 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 10:47:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86m4hj/i_feel_disgusting_at_over_190_lb_and_i_have_so/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm a jerk.
/u/AnaTroi [5'9" | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 10:42:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86m2wv/im_a_jerk/
---
I got downright angry with my friend for buying me lunch yesterday. I wasn't planning on eating lunch. He told me he wanted to go through the drive thru at a local burger place. I thought he was grabbing himself something but it ended up being for me. I got so mad when I found out.
Poor guy was so confused.
I realized how irrational I was being a few minutes later and I apologized, but it's really eating at me.
I get way too upset if I feel out of control. It was a good wake-up call for me.
Now to fix it somehow.
[Rant/Rave] Fasting Free Pass!
/u/UnderseaK [5'7 | cw: 150lbs | bmi:23.4 | gw: 110lbs]
Created: Fri Mar 23 10:29:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86lz41/fasting_free_pass/
---
My husband is out of town for four days at a friend's wedding, and my ED freaking loves it! I fasted for 24 straight hours yesterday, drank a 300 cal protein smoothie, and then dived right back into fasting. My head feels clear, I'm getting so much done, I can exercise at midnight with no one watching, and I've reached the point where I don't feel hungry anyways. After binging for two weeks straight and gaining 7lbs, this is a breath of fresh air.
I'm technically supposed to be recovering, but I've been pretty conflicted about that. I want to recover for my husband and daughters' sakes....but I sooooo don't want to for me.
I miss my husband, but oh man am I enjoying myself. Die, binge cycle!
[Rant/Rave] I've hit the tipping point
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 108 |18| GW:105 | -37 | 20F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 10:00:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86lqqr/ive_hit_the_tipping_point/
---
So if any of you guys remember my username I am the girl that got rejected by her friend. I can't stop thinking about what I could do differently or how I could look different to be more appealing. I have created a list of everything wrong with me and then made a sub list on all the ways I could fix them or save money to fix them. I can't look in a mirror without feeling like crying. Yesterday I went to the gym for 5 hours and drank only 300 calories in coffee. I don't know what I am doing anymore. All I know is I feel like this body is suffocating me. I want to be beautiful enough. If it isn't my body then it must be my personality. I must be the most boring or lame person. I must be just so unappealing. How can anyone ever love me? I can't even love me and I have to stick with me forever. I want to disappear or turn invisible. Never be seen again. I don't want to see myself ever again
[Discussion] My ED is a litmus test for how well my life is going
/u/chocoooomuffin [5'9" | CW 153 | GW 123 | -30 lbs | 24F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 09:07:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86lc75/my_ed_is_a_litmus_test_for_how_well_my_life_is/
---
I realized today, as I was agonizing over whether or not to eat a larabar after running 6 miles on the treadmill, that I want to quit my job. I've been heavily restricting and bingeing all week, and it's directly related to my job being super stressful right now. I don't know why I didn't realize it sooner, but anytime my ED starts acting up there's usually a reason why.
[Rant/Rave] world-record roller coaster ride
/u/bellexy [5'8 | tubbalub | GW 118 | š mint_royale]
Created: Fri Mar 23 07:40:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86kou4/worldrecord_roller_coaster_ride/
---
live footage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZZq6t1djow
so i go to the dr for birth control stuff* and in my last few months of acute mental rapid cycling, I managed to hit a new HW. yay neato i hate it.
so I just about immediately go back to IF. 20 hours a day minimum. I just finished a 24 yesterday before having a small meal. there's no way I've had any more than 3000 calories in the last five days combined.
so I finally feel brave enough to weigh in at home. I had a lot going for me as far as having a good weigh in:
1. i went from drinking about 3 drinks a night to zero (yay my excess consumption wasn't a physical addiction). alcohol is a ton of calories and a ton of bloating. mostly dropped diet sodas, coffees, and energy drinks and swapped for tons of water (plant nanny is the best app ever for water tracking btw. my dandelion is so cute).
2. no more salty snacks. bloat reduction again.
3. when I had weighed in at the doctor I was so full of water because I needed to have an ultrasound done. literally 75 oz of water intake within the hour of weigh in. and i was wearing jeans, boots, a hoodie, had my keys and my wallet on me, etc. so the weigh in could have been really skewed.
moment of truth.
**fifteen pounds lighter.** I nearly shit myself to be completely honest. in my head I was like, ok this could actually be possible over the course of a week and a half. right?
so I go and tell my husband
"oh, no, our scale must be calibrated wrong, that can't be right. the doctor's scale is more accurate."
*the fuck*
so I just ordered two more scales and we'll just fuckin see.
*birth control note: never in my life have I felt pain like an IUD placement. it was like the devil himfuckinself was trying to rip into my ute shoot. that being said couldn't part of that weight be from bloating after a birth control/horomone shift?? am I fucking crazy here?
whatever. i wasn't going to IF today and have a light salad for lunch but that's not happening now. gonna try for another 24. :/ womp womp
[Rant/Rave] Feel like I'm never gonna be happy
/u/budqueen17 [5'6 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 07:18:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86kjtc/feel_like_im_never_gonna_be_happy/
---
So, for the past 5 years I've tried so hard to lose weight, but I never get anywhere. My problem is that I'm unhappy with the way I look, but trying to change that makes me unhappy as well, because I find restricting *so hard* and I don't understand why. I hate it. I wish I could just... not eat. Like so many other people. But I'm useless. So the cycle of restricting and binging continues. It's pointless, and I know rationally that I should stop, but every time I think 'this will be the time it finally works'. I'm sick of it, feel like I don't even have an ED and I'm just trying to crash diet because I don't even lose weight
[Help] How long will it take
/u/purpleoleander
Created: Fri Mar 23 07:05:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86kgvv/how_long_will_it_take/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hit my first GW!!!
/u/IiIbeansprout
Created: Fri Mar 23 06:51:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86kdo2/i_hit_my_first_gw/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Has anyone else gone from one ED to another?
/u/wearyinsomniac1
Created: Fri Mar 23 06:51:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86kdmp/has_anyone_else_gone_from_one_ed_to_another/
---
About 2 years ago the stress in my life reached an all-time high, and I began bingeing heavily. Two months into this phase I was officially diagnosed with BED. It scared me but I never really sought out help. After a few more months of bingeing, I began trying to "reverse" my binges by making myself throw up all the food I had eaten. This became something that I did at least twice a day. It was clear that I had bulimia. This went on for about a year. I grew tired of throwing up so instead began restricting. I slowly became good at it, and it became an obsession. A month ago I was officially diagnosed with anorexia, and I'm still not seeking treatment.
I just wanted to know if this sort of transitioning thing was common.
[Rant/Rave] Me: "Finally managed to go to 24 hours without eating! I'm finally doing well." Coworker: "That's not good, you have to eat something."
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 298.4 | Goal: 270 | 46.7 | 0 | F ]
Created: Fri Mar 23 06:43:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86kbt3/me_finally_managed_to_go_to_24_hours_without/
---
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......no.
Not when I've been binging constantly for months straight and haven't been able to carry a fast longer than 12 hours before totally losing all control!
I hate when people are like "oh you haven't eaten, you must eat!" "you need nutrients!" "your body is going to be storing fat"
Meanwhile, I'm just here like "Please just let me have this."
My body is not storing shit, my fat cells are loaded with nutrients (at least fat soluble ones), and No, I don't need to eat.
I need to starve for just a few days so when I break the fast my stomach will be smaller and I can finally start restricting properly!
[Rant/Rave] I get impatient... (Rant)
/u/runawaythrowaway47
Created: Fri Mar 23 06:33:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86k9gm/i_get_impatient_rant/
---
So, uh by the title I think you can see my problem. Anyways, I meal prep for lunch and dinner when I wake up. Coolio right?? It would be if my family would stop coming out of their room every 5 fucking seconds to do shit in the kitchen. Our kitchen isn't the biggest and I don't like people being in my space whilst I am prepping because the meals are only 100 calories each and it looks "little" from an outsider perspective. I have to measure stuff out in measuring cups and such and it's weird for me to do that in their eyes because it looks like I'm dieting and then the conspiracies in their head and BLAHHHHH. I can't do anything without them just crowding me like wtf? Then they wonder why I'm always so pissy whenever they come in the kitchen and see the meals and say "wow that looks good" like idk why I'm that way its just so fucking annoying! Thanks for reading :)
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! March 23, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 23 06:12:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86k4xu/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_march/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for March 23, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 23, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 23 06:12:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86k4ws/daily_food_diary_march_23_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 23, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Give me tips on how to reduce my appetite please
/u/toriaponte12
Created: Fri Mar 23 05:07:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86jsq3/give_me_tips_on_how_to_reduce_my_appetite_please/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] i intentionally gave myself a cavity so i could stop eating sweets
/u/hoarderline
Created: Fri Mar 23 03:55:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86jgg0/i_intentionally_gave_myself_a_cavity_so_i_could/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Headache because of non-eating/low cal diet
/u/Burlesqua [š· 5'4'' | CW:108 (fluctuates) | BMI:18 | 20/F š·]
Created: Fri Mar 23 03:21:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86jbjk/headache_because_of_noneatinglow_cal_diet/
---
Hi peaches ā„
I was wondering if you had any tips against headaches? Indeed, everytime I don't eat for a prolonged period or go on a low cal diet, my head hurts. Drinking water helps but only to an extent. I have to eat something to make it completely go away. It's a pain 'cause I'm not hungry and my stomach's fine but it's too annoying to keep on going like this for the whole day. >:(
[Help] Richard Goes To A Buffet
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:FAT | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Fri Mar 23 02:54:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86j7dk/richard_goes_to_a_buffet/
---
Pizza Buffet yah. Lots of food yes. Barbeque chicken wings? Thank you. Spicy chicken nuggets, black pepper sausages, a salad bar. Pepperoni pizza, Hawaiian pizza, tuna pizza was weird, and pull pork pizza. Wow, that's so many of the food.
I ate and snorted vanilla ice cream then I purge because this is a disease and how are those Asian girls so thin. I stare.
Purge is finished, round two of pizza. Five slices, six wings, five cups of ice cream, four cookies, there's another section of the buffet with lasagna and Shepard's pie. Thank you potato and pasta.
Go home, drink too much vodka and beer. Side of blueberry juice.
What are we?
[Rant/Rave] I'm a little scared I went too far
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | high | large | Gender: death]
Created: Fri Mar 23 02:20:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86j2cd/im_a_little_scared_i_went_too_far/
---
Do you guys have the game My Tamagotchi? It gives you a little animal that you're supposed to feed several times a day.
I only feed it apples, oranges, and broccoli even when the animal asks for cookies.
I even pretended to yell at it when it asked for food, calling it fat in my room. I'm so sickš
I've been super hungry - as always - so I purged after working out. I had non-zero calorie Gatorade and a granola bar after my workout like the dumbshit I am.
I think I feel blood. I hate myself. I was afraid of this.
[Intro] How did this happen to me?
/u/Startled_Butterfly [5'5" | CW 126 | GW 108 | LW 108 | 21.2]
Created: Fri Mar 23 02:14:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86j1e3/how_did_this_happen_to_me/
---
So basically my biggest fear is getting older, it always has been. I'm afraid of dying young, not getting everything I want out of life, never feeling truly accomplished. I'm watching my 20s go by and wondering what I've really done with them: had a baby, got married, was never pretty, barely making my way through this degree. I can feel myself getting older every day and, as I get older, it's somehow becoming more impossible to maintain my weight.
I've always been 108, like forever, since I was a kid.
I kept the weight off when I got my first job and spent all my money on fast food burgers.
I kept the weight off when I stopped running.
I kept the weight off when I fell into that "comfortable" relationship zone with my now-husband.
I kept the weight off during pregnancy and the newborn stage, thanks to constant involuntary vomiting and then later depression so heavy I couldn't physically move myself to a kitchen to make myself food.
The only thing that has changed in the last year is that I'm getting older. That must be the reason it said 126 when I stepped on the scale this morning. I saw that funny graphic of the 15 different types of disorder eaters and I'm definitely the junk food girl. Avoid food until you can afford a burger, eat, repeat. That has always been my system, and now suddenly it isn't working.
And the last topping of disappointment on top of the disappointment cake was putting my numbers into the "NEW" BMI calculator just now and getting back a 21. What the fuck. What the fuck am I doing? How can this be me?
It's not like it snuck up on me or anything. For the last 4 months or so I've just been steadily gaining. I started working in a hospital surrounded by people who are way smarter than me. I say something stupid, feel like shit about how stupid I am, get in my car, go get a burger, get home, don't feel better, go get another burger and act like it's my first one.
Maybe don't eat the next day, maybe have two more.
Find out I was not accepted into the program I applied to. Eat more. Accidentally look down at my brand new muffin top, eat more. Be sleep-deprived because I stayed up too late thinking about how much I ate that day, drink 6 Dr Peppers the next day to stay awake. Nurse a clinically distended abdomen from all the carbonated water. Feel hugely unacceptably fat. Eat more.
Did you know "skin" is only a fraction of a centimeter thick? It's not "skin" I'm holding in my hand, it's fat. And now I'm just getting older AND less attractive at an accelerated rate. Worst fucking nightmare.
I just feel so angry right now. Fuuuuuck that 21.
[Help] TMI: in regards to bowel movements
/u/autumnsadventure
Created: Fri Mar 23 02:06:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86j085/tmi_in_regards_to_bowel_movements/
---
Right guys, I haven't pooped in 6 days. I've had two fairly big binges this week (Sunday and yesterday, Thursday) both of which were about 1200 calories. I usually restrict to 300 (including two almond milk cappuchinos) or I fast for 48ish hours. After last night's binge I'm really struggling, the scale is showing an entire extra kilogram, and I feel like a freaking whale.
I took 3 senna lax on Monday which did nothing, then a dulcolax (which is a lot stronger) on Wednesday night but neither did anything. Usually dulcolax hits me hard but I just had a stomach making lots of noise.
I started a 72 hour fast as of last night but I really want this BM to happen so I can accurately weigh in and get over these binges mentally.
Any ideas? Preferably something that's either very quick or not very painful as Im working now and don't want anything happening during my work day (im in retail)
[Discussion] March 23rd, 24th, 25, and 26th Questions of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 23 01:18:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86itbz/march_23rd_24th_25_and_26th_questions_of_the_day/
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Iāll be out of town for the next several days, so Iām planning ahead this time!
23rd: What genre of music do you like?
24th: What did you daydream about today?
25th: What made you laugh today?
26th: Who do you aspire to be like?
[Help] EC Stack - What really defines a loss of appetite?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 22 23:43:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86idyd/ec_stack_what_really_defines_a_loss_of_appetite/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I havenāt been eating lately and have lost 17 pounds due to a med change, I feel fantastic
/u/corgi_princess
Created: Thu Mar 22 22:34:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86i1s2/i_havent_been_eating_lately_and_have_lost_17/
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Iām still no where near my ultimate goal weight, but seeing how much Iāve lost in such a short amount of time is making me feel a lot better about getting even lower. I have around 23 more pounds to go.
Ever since I started Wellbutrin for my depression and suicidal thoughts my hunger and desire to eat has pretty much disappeared. I can hear my stomach growl through out the day, but I genuinely cannot get myself to eat anything. I do occasionally eat extremely small amounts of food, but now whenever I do this my stomach hurts so badly and Iām not used to this feeling.
The amount of food Iāve eaten in the past 5 days would have equaled the same amount I would have eaten in 1 day before my new med change. I used to binge and purge about 4ish years ago, but the results Iām getting from ārestrictingā are a lot faster and more noticeable than purging. I just feel good and I canāt wait to get even smaller! I definitely think that by the end of May I will have either reached my goal weight or be extremely close to reaching it. Wish me luck!
[Tip] Guys, try Keto diet + low cals
/u/Mherr150
Created: Thu Mar 22 21:53:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86htku/guys_try_keto_diet_low_cals/
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[removed]
[Other] can't get back into restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 22 21:46:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86hs3q/cant_get_back_into_restricting/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] So upset
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 107 | 19.1 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 21:36:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86hq8u/so_upset/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm crying because I ate half of a chocolate chip cookie
/u/hypothermi_a
Created: Thu Mar 22 21:00:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86hisy/im_crying_because_i_ate_half_of_a_chocolate_chip/
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[removed]
[Tip] tips on how to restrict but also drink?
/u/freakytreesprite [5'2''|21F|GW:108|CW: manatee]
Created: Thu Mar 22 20:55:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86hhnn/tips_on_how_to_restrict_but_also_drink/
---
[removed]
[Other] The recovery chronicles: part I
/u/oneblueboot [| In recovery | 26F | š: laceandmace]
Created: Thu Mar 22 20:54:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86hhiz/the_recovery_chronicles_part_i/
---
Hi there. It's been a while. Since I admitted that I needed help and made promises to myself to try and beat this thing for good, it's been exactly 54 days. But hey, who's counting?
Two months in, there are a lot of things that are a whole lot better. Eating more and putting on some of the weight that I'd lost has led to stronger muscles, better physical and mental endurance, improved focus and memory retention, a killer sex drive, and the comfort of waking up and knowing that I won't spend every hour of every day freezing half to death. I've started to rebuild my social life after abandoning it for so long. I go outside now! With people!
There are also a lot of things that haven't changed. My body dysmorphia is just as bad as ever, maybe even worse now that I'm not allowing myself any weigh-ins. I have no idea what I look like in reality, only that it's not the way I still feel like I have to be. I'm purging less often, but I haven't been able to totally kick the habit (and if I'm being entirely honest with myself, the idea of resigning myself to a lifetime of digesting every single thing that I swallow is still terrifying). I obsess over whether I'm recovering "slowly" enough, whether I'm going too far in the other direction. I have awful intrusive thoughts about how my boyfriend probably wants me to fail in this, because he loved me more when I was thin. I still have a list of foods I am too scared to keep in my apartment.
The biggest surprise in all of this has been how much of my recovery journey has been centered around excising the psychological scar tissue from traumas and memories I had long thought I'd dealt with years ago. In my therapy sessions I am talking about things that have happened to me and things I have done that I have been too ashamed to even think about for years, much less admit to another human being. The work that my therapy team and I are doing leaves me spiritually exhausted.
There are times I regret asking for help. I miss the rituals. I miss seeing bones and sharp angles in the mirror. I miss starving. I miss feeling like I have something private to hold and to nurture, something I can rely on to prove my worth in the metrics that I alone choose.
But I'm still trekking. I do have faith that this struggle will lead me somewhere worth being. And I guess I just want to say to anyone who has read this far, that I hope you find your path to somewhere worth being, wherever that may be and whatever that means to you.
[Help] please somebody help me
/u/chiiloveee
Created: Thu Mar 22 20:22:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86hacw/please_somebody_help_me/
---
Iāve been in a cycle of bulimia for almost a year. Itās so bad I eat the amount of an obese person and Iām wasting so much food. I still donāt like how I look and my body dysmorphia is ruining me... I donāt know if I want to gain weight or lose weight because I want big boobs and hips but I hate my fat fucking stomach and face. Someone told me today Iām the skinniest girl at this school and everybody is spreading rumors because somebody heard me purging in the bathroom. I want to look like a Victoriaās Secret model so bad but I donāt have any fucking boobs and my ribs still donāt show and I canāt stop comparing myself to other girls. Thereās this one girl at my school who looks like everything I wanna look like and I look at her Instagram her body is unbelievable I fucking hate myself
[Discussion] Caffeine causing binging?
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 109 | GW2: 105 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Thu Mar 22 19:42:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86h1bb/caffeine_causing_binging/
---
I've noticed recently that feeling highly caffeinated can lead to a binge for me, even if everything else is going okay.
I do understand that this certainly isn't everyone's experience, hence why I'm asking if anyone's found this too. I'm personally wondering if it may have something to do with anxiety or gut health.
I'm going to try cut out caffeine completely for a bit to test this, it would certainly make sense. So far, the research I've done has shown caffeine to be a binge trigger but it sounds kind of unheard of here... Anyone else find caffeine causing overeating?
[Rant/Rave] I forced it...
/u/mibunnie [5'2" | F | CW:175 | GW:115 ]
Created: Thu Mar 22 19:40:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86h0yd/i_forced_it/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] it just baffles me that some peopleās days arenāt run by food.
/u/starfiresgf
Created: Thu Mar 22 19:34:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86gziu/it_just_baffles_me_that_some_peoples_days_arent/
---
i wake up, I think about food, what I will eat or wonāt eat, the calories in that sip of coffee and before Iāve even finished breakfast my mind is on lunch. In class I sit and wonder about what I can eat to make sure I donāt pass 1200 calories, if I canāt calculate the exact number of what is in front me I canāt eat it. i watch YouTube videos of people eating the foods I can never eat again. While eating Iām already thinking about how to purge quietly while my parents are in the next room. I just canāt believe food is just a casual thing to other people. Food is literally my entire world. Iām sick of it.
Does it work
/u/Purpleoleander3
Created: Thu Mar 22 19:14:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86gv24/does_it_work/
---
[removed]
[Help] How to purge without vessels breaking in your face
/u/gabygorl
Created: Thu Mar 22 19:11:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86gug3/how_to_purge_without_vessels_breaking_in_your_face/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate it when pretty, thin influencers/celebs talk about āloving yourselfā and ābody positivityā
/u/InterchangeableMoon [Height 5'0" | CW 110 | GW 98 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 19:03:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86gslg/i_hate_it_when_pretty_thin_influencerscelebs_talk/
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Itās not like I donāt want to believe it or anything, but itās like. If I looked half as good as they did, i would love myself too. Lmfao.
Iām sure they have their own struggles and insecurities but like. Fuck them. Itās easy to love yourself when youāre financially stable, conventionally attractive, and you have hundreds and thousands of followers telling you how pretty you are on every basic-ass instagram story you post. Itās infuriating.
[Goal] Tomorrow is the day
/u/everypaperdolll [5'5 | CW 125lbs | UGW 105 | 5lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 18:48:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86gp3m/tomorrow_is_the_day/
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Itās official, yāall. I am SO SICK of just eating everything within reach because I canāt think of anything else to do. Sick of being a land whale. Every day I do so well until I get home and just...see the cabinets filled with junk. I have too many things to do to look the way currently do.
Iām challenging myself to 21 days binge-free. This is really just a declaration to help hold myself accountable, but damn, it feels good.
Ninja edit: anyone, feel free to DM me if you want to join in! I can start a kik group or something, too!
[Other] anyone else out here not weighing themselves?
/u/katijaiv [5'10 | CW no good | f]
Created: Thu Mar 22 18:41:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86gnam/anyone_else_out_here_not_weighing_themselves/
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like using a scale. for some reason i just can't ever bring myself to do it. i did it once months ago and ever since then i haven't been checking if i've lost any weight via number.. i rely on how baggy my clothes get and if i can fit in the smaller ones i have in my closet. anyone else with me on this one? O:
[Other] Anime_IRL
/u/ThermalAnvil [20 lbs lost]
Created: Thu Mar 22 18:39:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86gmtj/anime_irl/
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https://i.imgur.com/P520xop.gifv
[Help] I need to calm down
/u/papsandwiles [5"4 | 115 | 19.7 | 20F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 18:11:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86ggcq/i_need_to_calm_down/
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I just stepped on the scale after a week of restricting and it says I've GAINED five pounds?!?!?! What the fuck?!?!
I was 122 then dropped to 114 and now the scale says I'm 120?!
It's true that I weighed myself naked and on an empty stomach before and wearing full clothes now. But it shouldn't be that much of a discrepancy should it? Does anyone have an explanation for this?
Dinner with partnerās family (sort of)
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7 | 120.8 | 18.92 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Thu Mar 22 17:58:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86gd2b/dinner_with_partners_family_sort_of/
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[removed]
[Help] Iām losing my mind over this
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 22 17:19:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86g39n/im_losing_my_mind_over_this/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE think their appetite away?
/u/xxnevi [5'2 | CW: 149 | BMI: 27.4 | GW: 125 | -24 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 17:17:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86g2m0/dae_think_their_appetite_away/
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I was sitting here eating bagel bites and I guess paying way too much attention to how many times I chewed each bite. Well, I guess the texture of smooshed up sauce/bagel/cheese was too much for me because after 1, I was basically done.
So I guess my new trick is chewing every single bite into nastiness until I'm turned off by the meal.
[Tip] Super awesome resource for breaking habits
/u/TheOrgazoid99
Created: Thu Mar 22 17:16:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86g2cc/super_awesome_resource_for_breaking_habits/
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Disclaimer: harm reduction and a bit recovery-focussed. Skip if youāre not there. Although it applies to non-ED habits youād like to break, too :) also - on mobile sorry mods - tag as rave
Someone in loseit (I do want to credit, but do not want to tag; Iāll include the user if asked to by a mod) shared this awesome (edited) link: http://charlesduhigg.com/flowchart-for-changing-habits/
I love that you experiment on yourself to find effective strategies for *you*. I was making the mistake of only using similar rewards (e.g, small amounts of safe foods) to avoid binging, whereas opposite rewards (e.g, a walk or meal planning) are actually far more effective for me.
It got me researching habit reversal, and the concept of non-compatible behaviour came up. I think itās a component of lots of common advice (e.g, paint nails, chew gum, have a bath, are all incompatible with eating chips). It makes it easier to personalise your strategies if you think about the exact 1 habit you would like to break, what that habit involves for you, and what incompatible behaviour would work within your life.
This is great timing because I have been spiraling lately and really need to stop with the binging/purging.
When Iām uncomfortably full but rationally know itās not over maintence calories, I will go for a short walk. Prevents purging (or binging then purging).
When Iām wanting to eat despite knowing Iāve had sufficient calories to function, Iāll go for a walk or do some meal planning. I enjoy those things.
Anyone else want to share?
(Edited link)
[Rant/Rave] Sat in the Trader Joeās parking lot...then Whole Foods
/u/uglydelicious
Created: Thu Mar 22 17:13:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86g1po/sat_in_the_trader_joes_parking_lotthen_whole_foods/
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Mannnn does that say it all or what. I did manage to get out of the car at WF and take a lap around the store in search of free samples lol. No dice. Iām so weak from restricting rn i literally donāt feel like Iām in any biz to drive anywhere much less put in work at the gym like i just did. Feeling so so woozy. Letās pray i get home in one piece. My body is screaming at me. Ugh š sorry had to vent and hopefully someone can relate to my grocery store obsession ha
[Rant/Rave] Do photos trigger you? Vent
/u/designingwoman
Created: Thu Mar 22 16:37:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86frub/do_photos_trigger_you_vent/
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Cw: potentially triggering. I love y'all and don't want my emotional venting to hurt any of you. If you are currently in a bad space emotionally, please do not read on and please love yourself <3
Hey y'all,
So I went to a meet and greet last night with my favorite drag queen and some friends. I already know I hate photos of myself period, but it was for my friends birthday so I did it anyway.
We got the photo back today and y'all. I'm almost 10 years into recovery and the one photo of me looking like a fucking whale makes me wish my disorder had killed me when I had it. That's how fucking bad it looks.
So my question is, when you get photos taken of yourself do they trigger you? And if so is it all the time or just sometimes? My ugly ass just needs a paper bag and to lose all my recovery weight at this point.
[Other] Slacking
/u/loveyov
Created: Thu Mar 22 16:32:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86fqh8/slacking/
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I've had an ED for over a year. It's been very easy (idk if that's the right word but), up until Feburary. I use to be able to eat less than 300cals a day and felt perfectly okay. I can't anymore??
I started intensely working out daily in January, so I know that probably plays a part. I was aware I had to up my intake slightly, so I did.
However, I'm just SO hungry now. I still drink a large quantity of water. I still do all my avoid feeling hunger tricks, but I'm still starving. Like to the point I get super faint and can't walk. I don't know why it's such a sudden extreme change?
Also, I don't know if thise would play a part, but I was eating 300 when I was only slightly underweight. Now I'm VERY underweight..
This is more just me ranting, but is this a common? It seriously has me wondering if I just failed my ED. It's ruining me, I feel like a faliure. I don't even feel like I have an ED anymore (I mean I do.... but I just feel like it was more valid month ago than now)?
[Other] This twitter page is everything that goes on in my head.
/u/kkardash
Created: Thu Mar 22 16:11:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86fklv/this_twitter_page_is_everything_that_goes_on_in/
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https://i.redd.it/g7exxe5g2en01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Binge/weight increase = everything else sucks more
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW 149.4lb | 19.82 | -27 | GW 140]
Created: Thu Mar 22 16:05:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86fiva/bingeweight_increase_everything_else_sucks_more/
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Fuck. I binged yesterday and then overate today. I've been really sluggish and depressed lately and kind of spiraling. The weight increase is just the icing on the cake (even though it seems like it's the primary Worst Thing that's happening). I've lost almost 30lbs already and was only 9 lbs away from my first gw. And I had to fuck it up.
Now I have to stop eating for at least a day to correct my dumbass mistakes. I'm afraid I gained actual weight too and not just water weight like I always am.
And like I always do, I feel like all my failures are manifested on my body in the swelling and fat appearance I now have, and everyone can read all I do wrong and my shortcomings on my face. I hate going out and being around people like this. After fasting for a couple days or successfully restricting it's so much better, when I have dark circles and my face is slimmer, and my clothes aren't choking me.
Boy I can't wait to not eat anything until sunday at least /s
I know some people like fasting and I do in a way, it's just super difficult for me esp. when I need to work
Could use some encouragement/reassurance that I can get back on track and reach my gw :') seems so far away right now
[Rant/Rave] I AM SO ANNOYED
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:114lbs | GW: 112lbs | -25 lbs | F20]
Created: Thu Mar 22 15:45:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86fdh9/i_am_so_annoyed/
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sorry this is a huge rant please donāt feel like you have to waste your time reading this
I am so annoyed right now. I am sitting in my universityās student union building and this huge girl came over with her greasy huge plate of panda express and sat in the empty chair directly behind me. She is currently chewing SO LOUDLY and with little slurp noises in between. Not only that, but she is playing loud music out of her iphone speaker while i am sitting here trying to finish my bio lab report. Can anyone else not fucking stand the sounds of gross eaters??? I keep giving her subtle body language gestures that I am very annoyed and distracted by her presence but she doesnāt notice anything. Yes I know it is an open area that isnāt necessarily 100% quiet, yes I know that I am also probably jealous of and annoyed by the fact that she is comfortable enough to put that amount of fried, greasy, oily, noodle calories in her body.
On another note, am I the only one who thinks that the smell of panda express is oddly so good compared to how mediocre it tastes once it enters your mouth? God just looking at the ingredients and
nutrition facts makes me want to barf everywhere. Guess I can thank the ED for that.
disclaimer: on mobile please flair as rant <3
Now if you excuse me I am going to move to a quiet place where I can starve and study in peace
[Help] Dinner For The First Time In Month
/u/HonestSpeak
Created: Thu Mar 22 15:39:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86fby8/dinner_for_the_first_time_in_month/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Putting ED aside is anyone an incredibly picky eater?
/u/gothicapples
Created: Thu Mar 22 15:35:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86fayx/putting_ed_aside_is_anyone_an_incredibly_picky/
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I wrote down the other day everything I wouldnāt eat itās 4 pages front and back and the stuff I would eat is just 1 page
I canāt be the only one thatās a crazy picky eater
[Rant/Rave] i cant make friends (not specifically ed related)
/u/offenator [173cm | 51kg | BMI:17.5 | LW:43kg | Male]
Created: Thu Mar 22 15:28:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86f91d/i_cant_make_friends_not_specifically_ed_related/
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i have a girlfriend who i have been with for over a year, and we are in a healthy relationship. but i think that means everyone thinks i cant be lonely or feel like i have no friends(apart from her of course)? everyone has their own friends, and theres so many people who id love to be friends with. i feel like i am too full on whenever i speak to someone new and that understandably makes them not like being around me. as well as this, there are many people i know who used to be friends with but have grown apart and i have no idea why and id still love to be friends with them. i cant tell if i want to be friends with someone specifically or i just hate the loneliness.
of course these feelings make ed thoughts more intense and general depressive ones too.
if this is the wrong sub to post in sorry but i just know how lovely this sub can be ,, thank you for reading
[Discussion] How do i get thinner?
/u/Languagefreak
Created: Thu Mar 22 15:28:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86f90a/how_do_i_get_thinner/
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[removed]
[Help] What are your stacks that dong require a rx?
/u/KawaiiTillIDie
Created: Thu Mar 22 15:12:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86f4p0/what_are_your_stacks_that_dong_require_a_rx/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So, Iām finally admitting it. I have an eating disorder
/u/burrochevola [F, 5ā3 CW: 130 UGW: 110]
Created: Thu Mar 22 14:20:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86epww/so_im_finally_admitting_it_i_have_an_eating/
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Iāve tried to hide it, Iāve tried to say to myself āitās fine, I know what Iām doingā, Iāve tried to say āthis will be the last timeā, but itās useless. I developed an eating disorder and thatās not going to change even if I ignore it
Today I purged for the first time after eating a huge amount of food (Iām talking around 5000 calories). I was disgusted with myself after.
Itās always the same. I eat around 800-900 calories for one or two weeks. Then one day I say, āwell today can be my cheat day, I will not eat more than 1500 - 1800 caloriesā and end up binging huge amounts of food and feeling like absolutely crap after. Then itās starving myself again until I see some weight changes, think āI deserve to eat a bit moreā and boom, āa bit moreā are thousands and thousands of calories I just want to expel one way or another
I just want to be thin and small and pretty, but I constantly feel like a failure. After losing 45 lbs by eating healthy and responsibly youād think I would have my life under control. Nope! God forbid I can do something right!
Iām sorry, I just felt like ranting. Hope this is allowed.
Itās nice to meet yāall
[Rant/Rave] Iļø have literally no sex drive.
/u/trappedinaclub
Created: Thu Mar 22 13:52:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86ehr5/i_have_literally_no_sex_drive/
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And Iļø really think this ED is like a big cause. Iļø feel awful. Iāve basically just been extremely depressed, isolating myself because of this fucking disorder and then on top of that my grandpa died a few weeks ago the same weekend my grandma was in the hospital, all the while Iļø had like a million projects due for school, plus trying to juggle a part time job!!!
But that blew over and Iļø started to feel better (or so Iļø thought) and Iļø hung out with my fwb last night and Iļø consider him like a really good friend but Iļø also find him extremely attractive and the past times we hooked up (although it has been a couple months) like it was GREEAATT and Iļø didnāt really have a problem. But last night Iļø literally just had to pull the plug while we were having sex because Iļø felt absolutely nothing. Zero. Nada. Iļø tried so fucking hard but there was just nothing. And it wasnāt like self-consciousness or anything in fact Iļø actually felt fuckin hot last night. But Iļø know it has nothing to do with him because heās great in bed and again Iļø think heās super attractive. Iļø tried to explain that it wasnāt him at all and Iļø very cryptically explained that Iļø was just extremely depressed and have no sex drive. Like TMI but Iļø canāt even get myself off. Thereās just nothing.
But yeah Iļø might have fucked up this friendship. And to think Iļø was starting to get better!!!!1!1!1!
Sorry if this all just sounds like nonsense
[Rant/Rave] Trying to poison me
/u/HarmonyDawn
Created: Thu Mar 22 13:39:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86ee06/trying_to_poison_me/
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I'm angry that it seems like everywhere you go there is shitty, chemical, sugary, animal tortury, fattening food and people are constantly pressuring each other to eat it. Oh its a holiday? How about some poison?? Its a party? Want some poison to go with your fattening poison? You don't eat poison?? (Mostly referring to me being vegan) let me tell you all the opinions I have about what YOU eat.
Fuck off! How about worry about your damn self.
In OA they would say this is a resentment and it runs the risk of causing a binge. And i recognize their point but I'm still pissed that going out into the world means constantly deflecting pressure from fat sick people trying to justify their own fucked up food habits by acting like its normal and I'm weird.
Not that I'm not weird, but id rather be weird than eating tortured animals And MSG
[Tip] [UK] no sugar added capri-sun are only 8-10kcal each š
/u/WorstCunt [crunchy]
Created: Thu Mar 22 13:32:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86ec4z/uk_no_sugar_added_caprisun_are_only_810kcal_each/
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https://i.redd.it/vtb8o3ma9dn01.jpg
[Other] Me... then I eat it anyways
/u/littlejanedoe- [5'2" |CW:121lbs | GW:115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 13:22:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86e98u/me_then_i_eat_it_anyways/
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https://i.redd.it/qqpb1mp68dn01.jpg
[Discussion] Anyone else take naps or sleep early to avoid eating?
/u/EvenRainbowsScream
Created: Thu Mar 22 13:18:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86e8bs/anyone_else_take_naps_or_sleep_early_to_avoid/
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Lately my energy levels have decreased greatly since I started restricting my diet to 500 calories a day and I usually end up needing to nap for some time. Closed my eyes on day and woke up 10 hours later, not even hungry! Iāve been doing it mid day to avoid dinner with my family too, it works well.
[Discussion] Roommates and food
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [š5'5|110|GW:100š]
Created: Thu Mar 22 13:14:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86e72j/roommates_and_food/
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How many of you have roommates that eat your food? How many of you eat your roommates food? Both scenarios have applied to me :/
[Rant/Rave] Iām going to make him regret saying that...
/u/tinybabybear [5'6" | CW:133 | GW:115 | 22F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 13:00:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86e38t/im_going_to_make_him_regret_saying_that/
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My dad knows Iām trying to lose weight, and so far Iāve managed to spin it as responsible dieting.
The other night he made a roast and my sister and I said it smelled so good, and immediately my dad says āWhatās the point of all that diet shit if youāre going to eat that?ā I explained that wasnāt going to eat it, I was just saying it smelled good.
But you know what? Fuck him. He doesnāt want me to eat? I wonāt eat. Iām going to make him wish I had eaten that whole roast by myself. This is what you wanted! No more eating? You got it!
Iām so angry I just want to waste away into nothing so he finally gets it. Donāt tell me not to eat or I swear to god thatās exactly what will happen.
If I hear the word starvation mode one more time....
/u/tastefuldebauchery
Created: Thu Mar 22 12:09:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86dnt7/if_i_hear_the_word_starvation_mode_one_more_time/
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https://i.redd.it/gb5zygp6vcn01.jpg
[Help] Was walking and all of a sudden my legs (and then whole body) felt weak - but I had eaten that day??
/u/strawstring [Height 5'10 | CW ???| -76??lbs | 21F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 12:02:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86dlvg/was_walking_and_all_of_a_sudden_my_legs_and_then/
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Hey guys, so this happened to me earlier and kind of freaked me out so I was wondering if anyone had any similar experiences or any input?
I had been in a cafe for almost 5 hours studying, and had a black coffee when I got there + vitamins as well as a sandwich I was eating over the course of an hour or two (it was a LOT of bread, probably more than a subway 6" size and I'm guessing around 55-70g of carbs, with just vegetables and a tiny bit of hummus). I then ordered a rice milk latte (about 12oz of rice milk), studied more, and left intending to walk home which takes about 45 minutes. I very often do not have anything but coffee until after class (2pm or later) and am fine with this, don't really get hungry, and sometimes don't even get hungry until dinnertime, so this was quite a bit of food this early in the day. I also walk everywhere and really enjoy walking, so 1hr-2hr walks are also not unheard of.
But, all of a sudden, I was feeling warmish and took off my scarf, and my legs felt very odd and like I wasn't walking correctly. I kept going but quickly realized I would have to stop or I'd pass out or fall over or something (which has never happened to me), thinking maybe I was dehydrated so I went into the bathroom of a shopping center I was coming up to and filled my water bottle. While there I noticed I was sweating - and not just a little, but as if I had just done a hard workout. My face was very wet and I had to splash it with water and use a paper towel in the bathroom. I decided to take the bus home instead because I wasn't sure I could make it home, so I stopped in a shop next to the bus stop and got a belvita pack (200cals of mainly carbs) and peanuts (ate about 150cals and then threw them out because I realized I read the calories wrong). When I got home I had plain spinach and mushrooms and a bunch more water.
Now I feel completely fine. I'm just so confused because I have fasted for 40+ hours and have never felt this weak, I literally ate a whole sanwich earlier that day!! Has anyone had an experience like this, or do you think it was unrelated to food and just a weird thing? I'm a bit frightened and don't know what to think.
[Rant/Rave] Skinny shaming
/u/000100024
Created: Thu Mar 22 11:33:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86ddj6/skinny_shaming/
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I had an eating disorder. The other night I went out and got dinner with some old friends. My friends have gained weight over the years and aren't as in shape as they used to be. One is overweight and always has been but it's affecting her health. I've been supportive and listened to her concerns about her weight and needing help. I told her I would go to the gym with her prior to dinner because she asked.
So we're looking at the menu and they ask what I'm getting. I told them and it just happened to be one of the healthier items on the menu. I don't count anymore or obsess over what I'm eating and made HUGE progress in the last year.
My friends know I had a disorder and would poke fun of me or tell me to eat more in the past. Which never helped.
So they bring it up when the girl gets there to take our orders that I'm getting something healthy. Literally embarrass me in front of her and almost make me feel pressured to order something else. "Here my fatass is ordering a whole pizza" it got so uncomfortable. Then the friend who asked me to go to the gym with her mentions it to everyone and makes it sound like I was the one who wanted to go to the gym.
Our food got there and I felt so insecure. I couldn't even finish my food and just picked at it. It felt like highschool all over and feeling watched by everyone over what I was eating.
I've always had anxiety over eating in public or going out to restaurants for this reason. My ex would mention getting food and I felt awful but I'd make some excuse or say I wasn't hungry. Really I was just avoiding feeling judged while I'm trying to eat. We would go out and I would always take my food home or just nibble at it and I hated myself for that.
It's so crappy to shame or make someone else feel bad or self-conscious over what they're eating. I overcame my disorder. I don't at 25 need you to point out what I'm eating or pick me apart for it.
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone ever really recover from an eating disorder (any type)?
/u/onegoalfullcontrol
Created: Thu Mar 22 10:59:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86d3cj/does_anyone_ever_really_recover_from_an_eating/
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I've never been officially diagnosed but I'm 99% sure that in my lifetime I've had ednos (restricting cycle anorexia type) and afterwards binge eating disorder. While I think that I more or less eat fine and my body image issues have lessened, I don't think that I will ever think about food a different way again. I think that my mind will always be stuck in the food=fat mindset and it's my choice whether to restrict or to accept that and overeat. I don't even know how normal people think about food.
I wish I knew how to properly think about food. I'm always bouncing between "I should starve myself" and "fuck food I wanna just relax from all this so eat whatever". There is no third option. I don't even know what the third, healthier option is. I wish I could go into the mind of a non-ED person and see how to properly think about food. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] Idk if I should be happy
/u/frida569 [163 cm | 74 kg | 15 kg | female]
Created: Thu Mar 22 10:57:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86d2sz/idk_if_i_should_be_happy/
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So Iāve been heavily restricting for a few weeks now. Basically fasting most days, and Iāve lost a significant amount of weight. My mom hasnāt seen me in a while (even tho we live in the same house) but itās bc I sleep to avoid eating. Anyways she saw me today and goes āoh my god! Youāre tiny! Youāre almost as thin as Farahā Farah is my older sister who is wayyyy thinner than me and has always been the thin sister. She asked me how I did it and I told her I have no time to eat bc of uni, and she told me to keep it up. Idk if I should be happy that Iām as thin as my sister now or annoyed that she showed no concern when I blatantly admitted to starving myself
[Discussion] Thin documentary
/u/HEJPADIGMONIKAMMMMM
Created: Thu Mar 22 10:51:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86d0uq/thin_documentary/
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Hey! Has anybody else watched the documentary called Thin? If not I recommend it as itās an amazing watch
[Discussion] What laxative has the shortest window of effectiveness?
/u/sadlysalad [5'5" | CW:154 (25.6 BMI) | GW:125 | -23lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 10:26:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86ct4p/what_laxative_has_the_shortest_window_of/
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I figure you guys are the people to ask lol. I'm going on vacation and always get really constipated when I travel (stress? IDK) but we're going to be in a country where I don't speak the language and is known for not having many public bathrooms. Coffee is good because it works fast but sometimes I need something stronger.
Any suggestions for laxatives that work in a short period then stop? Ideally like an hour or two.
[Intro] Stepped on the scale this morning to see my highest weight ever
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 22 10:20:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86crhw/stepped_on_the_scale_this_morning_to_see_my/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86crhw/stepped_on_the_scale_this_morning_to_see_my/
[Help] Best āDetoxā tea?
/u/mhm646 [5'5" | CW fat | GW 125 | UGW 118 | 21F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 09:52:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86cj2v/best_detox_tea/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Running laps around the house
/u/fernsandfoxes [5ā6ā | CW:120 | BMI:19.45 | GW:110 | 18F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 09:50:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86cipk/running_laps_around_the_house/
---
Iām home alone and currently running laps around the house. I took my first EC stack this morning but I feel too disgusted with myself to run outside where people can see me. My cats are looking at me like Iām insane. What is my life hahahahaha
But at least Iām burning calories, right?
[Rant/Rave] Iām so sick of binging
/u/AMhippiespeedball
Created: Thu Mar 22 09:28:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86cck7/im_so_sick_of_binging/
---
Being puffy from inflammation and full of dumb rotting food is killing my self esteem.
2 years ago I was single, doing yoga every morning, and I had a food plan. I ate the same stuff all the time. I didnāt cheat and I didnāt want to cheat because having a concave stomach under pointy hipbones felt better than food and I felt skinny and pretty and proud of myself. Then I got into a relationship and he pretended to like healthy food but like me was a fatass at heart so we ended up binging ice cream every night and I woke up every morning with explosive diarrhea and gained back 8-10# in weeks. All my self control was out the window. 2 years later and Iām still eating. I have PCOS, my long term health and appearance depends on what I do now. But I canāt stop eating and Iām so fucking tired of it.
Yesterday
Breakfast: bacon egg and cheese bfast sandwich
Lunch: 2 hard boiled eggs; smoothie with berries, chia, flax and almond/coconut milk
Dinner: McChicken and large diet coke
After dinner: peanut m&ms and single serving (at least I had the sense to not buy a family bag) of dumb Hawaii onion chips
Iām not being honest with anyone about how much itās fucking me up to be so out of control. I just want to restrict again. The mental switch is so hard to find. I love you all and Iām sorry you have to deal with this garbage too
Edited for clarity
I wake up every day with my fucking face puffy, my fingers puffy, bags under my eyes, and just gross. Eating 800-4000 extra calories every fucking day is aging me
Edited for clarity and to add more whining
[Tip] Magnesium is better than laxities
/u/KawaiiTillIDie
Created: Thu Mar 22 09:14:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86c8ql/magnesium_is_better_than_laxities/
---
I've been sick with a cyst on my ovary and my SO has me taking a high amount of magnesium to help it go down. I told him I was taking allot and he said be careful, it can cause a laxative effect and you won't be able to eat anything without it going right though you.
So naturally I started taking a little more (1500mg) yesterday and today and it totally works without any of the stomach crapms or pain! Just make sure you drink lots of water.
[Discussion] Vegetables shall now be the base of my food pyramid
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 09:03:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86c5tu/vegetables_shall_now_be_the_base_of_my_food/
---
The scale is slowly teetering towards 110lbs, i've been consistently eating below 1000 a day but it's not been enough, so drastic times call for drastic measures
I'll do caloric ramp ups on Fridays, and the rest of the days I'm going to submit to beautiful black coffee, vegetables>fruits for fiber, and relentlessly count every last calorie I do get from any source of fruit, and add protein sources that are not a waste of my calories.
Does anyone have any good vegetable dish recommendations? <3
[Rant/Rave] A friend accidentally called me fat yesterday, and I may or may not have had a break down in front of my friends...
/u/saulst [5'11" | CW: 177.6 | 23.98 | M]
Created: Thu Mar 22 08:32:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86bxa0/a_friend_accidentally_called_me_fat_yesterday_and/
---
Yesterday, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, and the conversation turned into us talking about our taste in men. I made a little comment about me wanting to date guys bigger than me so I can be be skinnier one in the relationship (they don't know about my ED, but they know about my struggles with body image, so I felt comfortable talking with them about that lowkey screwed up mindset), and my friend immediately responds, "Oh well that's going to be difficult for you" or something along those lines, implying it would be hard for me to find anyone bigger than me to date/for me to be the skinny one in a relationship.
It seemed like she heard me wrong and it was a honest mistake (and she profusely apologized), but even though I tried laughing off the mistake with my other friends, my body just took over and started uncontrollably sobbing. I claimed it was just tears from laughing so hard, but holy shit. It was just so embarrassing and uncomfortable, and I think they could tell I was upset about it. It was just SUPER awkward for everyone involved.
Just thought you all would appreciate this very embarrassing encounter. After getting some sleep, I am still feeling pretty mortified, but I can at least find the humor in the situation now.
Aldi & Dollar Tree Grocery Haulā½ā¼
/u/brookesnook
Created: Thu Mar 22 08:05:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86bq2u/aldi_dollar_tree_grocery_haul/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghq0qK7W5YQ
[Help] EC stacking for beginners?
/u/110_percent_bot
Created: Thu Mar 22 07:57:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86bo3g/ec_stacking_for_beginners/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] what to do when you reach your ugw?
/u/acosed [18nb | 5'5" | CW 50.7 | BMI 18.7 | GW 50 | UGW 45 ]
Created: Thu Mar 22 07:40:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86bk8q/what_to_do_when_you_reach_your_ugw/
---
im .7kg from my first gw (50kg). starting at (using this date/stat bc its when i started tracking every single day on mfp) 54.2kg 30 days ago, ive lost 3.5kg in a month. i didn't think id lose that quickly??? my ugw is tentatively 45kg but i honestly cant imagine not restricting. am i just doomed to restriction until my body breaks???
(on mobile so no flair: discussion, i guess?)
[Rant/Rave] this bothers me so much.
/u/bellexy [5'8 | tubbalub | -20 | GW 118 | š mint_royale]
Created: Thu Mar 22 07:37:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86bjfi/this_bothers_me_so_much/
---
https://imgur.com/J9KDdb7
[Rant/Rave] Iām a pathetic garbage thatās going to die alone
/u/Thecaretakerjohanna
Created: Thu Mar 22 07:16:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86bem9/im_a_pathetic_garbage_thats_going_to_die_alone/
---
My throat hurts from trying to throw up. Only a little bit came out. A huge binge, around 2000 kcal. Iām trying to eat max 1200 a day. I have had BED since I can remember. I was never loved but food made me feel good. And then not so good. HW 238 lbs. Lost 50lbs. And Iām still fuckin fat. And I just canāt throw up. I tried when I turned 9 and Iāve been trying since then. My goal is so far away. Iāll never get there. My scale is fucked. I step on it once and it says im 4lbs up. Then again and Iām 5lbs down. I try 10 more times and Iām still 5lbs down. But I donāt believe it.
Im so tired of this. Iām so tired of not having control. I canāt control it!!! I have a binge like this at least once every two weeks. Itās so pathetic.
I tried so hard to turn into an anorexic instead. But I always binged. I could never do it. My mum caught me looking at myself in the mirror when I was 10 and said you know youād actually be pretty if youād lose weight, itās a shame.
.
.
.
.
It is a fuckin shame.
āYou should take a lunch breakā
/u/Rebound_Chick
Created: Thu Mar 22 07:01:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86bb81/you_should_take_a_lunch_break/
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āNo thanks.ā
Or, how I awkwardly told my coworkers I donāt eat lunch. Theyāve been hounding me about my food intake even though Iām at the heaviest Iāve ever been. So I awkwardly turned down a (mandatory?) break for food and now I know theyāre going to be watching me. Theyāve already told me energy drinks arenāt meals and yogurt isnāt a real breakfast and I just donāt know how to handle them.
[Discussion] Thoughts on fitbits?
/u/library-cat [5'6" | 132 | 21.3 | 22F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 06:22:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86b2ib/thoughts_on_fitbits/
---
So after a few months of steady progress I've fallen back into another damn binge cycle (what a shocker Ā ĀÆ\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ ) and it's really killing my motivation to work out. I've been looking into buying myself a fitbit in the hopes that actually seeing the numbers will help me move more. I like the idea of being able to quantify my workouts. My question for those of you who have a fitbit: are they actually worth the money, or are they a novelty item? I can't justify dropping $100+ on something that won't actually be useful. (I'm considering the alta HR, if that changes anything)
Thoughts?
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support March 22, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 22 06:11:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86b05a/weekly_emotional_support_march_22_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 22, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 22 06:10:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86azwc/daily_food_diary_march_22_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 22, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] March 22nd, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 05:59:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86axnl/march_22nd_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
Whatās a news story from today?
*quickly checks Reddit front page*
[Rant/Rave] I just don't know what to do from here
/u/Mini-Size_Me [172cm | 59kg | BMI20 | 25F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 04:57:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86ami2/i_just_dont_know_what_to_do_from_here/
---
My brain is moving so fast I can barely catch on to a coherent thought. I'm stressing because my weight has plateaued for nearly two weeks and I don't understand why! And I'm panicking so much because I'm going to be eating out twice over the weekend (once even at fish and chips!!) for family events and I have been restricting to 600-900 calories a day for ages now and I don't know how I'm going to manage that eating out and being around family. Even on a normal day I get really anxious and guilty (wtf) whenever my calorie intake ends up over 700. What can I do guys?! How do I break this damn plateau?? How do I keep restricting while eating out with family?? Sorry for rambling, I am just so damn panicky!
Edit: Sorry for being so panicky. I'm just really confused by what my body is doing and really worried about the weekend. Sorry for rambling so much!
[Other] Body, why you do this
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 04:42:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86ajk7/body_why_you_do_this/
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https://i.redd.it/f72e1fmbnan01.png
[Other] I don't even want it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 22 04:19:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86afnt/i_dont_even_want_it/
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[deleted]
[Other] When you work in a restaurant and all of the food they serve is high calorie garbage
/u/ayybih
Created: Thu Mar 22 03:57:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86abpz/when_you_work_in_a_restaurant_and_all_of_the_food/
---
https://i.redd.it/p8mtykaefan01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Canāt even deal..
/u/dreamedotcom
Created: Thu Mar 22 03:25:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86a718/cant_even_deal/
---
So Iāve been doing real well, like have lost 26 kg since November, and have hit a healthy bmi. Have a boyfriend for the first time in years.
Binged today, like 3000 calories and I canāt cope. Feel so disgusting and I hate myself and I just donāt know how to move forward. Why did I do that to myself? What is wrong with me? I was purging until blood came out and it freaked me out, and I just donāt know what to do know. My hair is falling out.
I couldnāt concentrate at school, I walked outta class to purge cuz I knew the toilets would be empty.
I feel like a failure. I disappoint myself. Iām trying to quit smoking too and maybe it was too soon.
Sorry for another failed rantā- I normally try to keep my posts positive here, I just am not coping, I feel so alone, I want to run away.
Also am a recovering addict, wish I could just use drugs like I use to, to get skinny but I canāt.
And found out heaps of my friends have all been talking about me behind my back, calling me a slut. It hurts. Canāt wait for tomorrow so I can put today behind me. So scared how much it will affect my weigh in.... fuck so much hard work for nothing. Couldnāt even afford my binge now am broke.
Thanks for listening ššš
[Discussion] Anyone else go to OA?
/u/HarmonyDawn
Created: Thu Mar 22 01:10:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/869mue/anyone_else_go_to_oa/
---
I go to meetings and have a sponsor. It helps me not be TOTALLY nuts. new in the program. Still struggle. But have made a lot of progress and lost about 50 lbs. My favorite part is sometimes I go like a who day without obsessing over food.
Was taking pictures for Instagram and I realised how fat my arm looked...
/u/heyitclaire [5'5 | CW 98 | BMI 16.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 22 00:22:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/869f6l/was_taking_pictures_for_instagram_and_i_realised/
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https://i.redd.it/u3syjkc3d9n01.jpg
When someone takes notice of your weight loss
/u/Internet_Soup
Created: Thu Mar 22 00:05:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/869cem/when_someone_takes_notice_of_your_weight_loss/
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Whenever someone takes notice of my weight loss and compliments me on it, I do feel nice for that split second but right after I get this overwhelming sense of guilt and it eats away at my mind all day because I know I didn't lose the weight in a healthy manner. It tends to fire up my ED and makes me think they're lying and that I actually need to lose more weight. Does anyone else get like this?
[Help] Drugs to see yourself
/u/loserden
Created: Thu Mar 22 00:03:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/869c5i/drugs_to_see_yourself/
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[removed]
Daily intake!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 21 23:26:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8695yy/daily_intake/
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[deleted]
[Other] trapped in myself
/u/illendmylife [bmi: 16.9 | gw 100lbs | f]
Created: Wed Mar 21 23:24:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8695n7/trapped_in_myself/
---
every part of me is ugly. i wear disposable earloop masks anywhere. i try to cover every part of my body. when i'm in public i feel so insecure and open. people will stare at anything exposed and think badly of me. people lie to my face about how i look. they say i look fine, i look better when i'm not hiding, they're jealous of my body, etc. it's lies. i cry when i look in the mirror. it doesn't matter how much weight i lose i can't fix my body. i can't stand it anymore. i'm wearing it until i kill myself. my therapists are not going to convince me otherwise. i deserve to be dead.
[Discussion] fasting made me lose 5 pounds?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 21 22:55:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8690sh/fasting_made_me_lose_5_pounds/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8690sh/fasting_made_me_lose_5_pounds/
[Other] Peach App
/u/BunnyMPA
Created: Wed Mar 21 22:52:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8690bg/peach_app/
---
Hi. My username on MPA is ~ Bunny ~ and I am attempting to stop binging (I am bulimic).
I would love to also follow anyone on the Peach app so if you want you can drop your username or add me. My username is BunnyMPA on peach.
[Rant/Rave] A bad day, feeling low and pathetic
/u/fallowoath
Created: Wed Mar 21 22:47:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/868zhn/a_bad_day_feeling_low_and_pathetic/
---
Sigh today had all the makings of a good day until I met up with my fwb. for the past three days I've been eating pretty bad, and he's Very vigilant about what he eats. on top of that he's exercising a lot and his body is becoming very defined. it terrifies me and fills me with jealously at the same time. he never comments on how i look but I can just tell he finds me repulsive, scared hes going to ghost me once he reaches his goal idk I'm a mess and I wish I were skinnier and hotter ugh stupid
[Tip] Do you know any tricks to lose water weight really fast (like 10+ pounds?)
/u/patriotsfan4life [5'2 | CW: 100 | GW: 70 | 14F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 22:23:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/868v38/do_you_know_any_tricks_to_lose_water_weight/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Fainting brought me back to ED
/u/Liswan8213
Created: Wed Mar 21 22:10:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/868sil/rant_fainting_brought_me_back_to_ed/
---
I had overcome an ED of calorie restriction. It had been years since it was an issue. But starting a year ago, I started to faint frequently without provocation. Sitting at my desk (worked from home) on a call, then keeling over, watching a movie, etc. Most recently, I was having dinner at a busy restaurant and fainted with no warning in the middle of the restaurant. It was mortifying. The only saving grace was that I wasn't alone, so they stopped anyone from calling an ambulance, so didn't have to deal with that expense. Now, I feel so self conscious when going out in public, knowing it could happen anytime, and people stare. I feel suddenly ashamed with how I look, feeling like people are judging me. So I started restricting again. I am on a fast now, and it is so much easier than I remembered. I can't afford going back to the doctor for more testing. In my head, I know that restricting when I already have something going on (I am convinced it was nerves, for some reason, even though I wasn't nervous when I fainted each time) is stupid, but it is almost like I am grasping at control.
Sorry, just needed to vent. I feel so ashamed of myself, suddenly in how I look, that I am overweight, and also that I feel so stupid that I can't make myself eat normally anymore
[Help] Am I planning a binge?!
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 108.6 | 20.1 | -12 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 21:41:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/868mnl/am_i_planning_a_binge/
---
I'm honestly not one to eat massive quantities of food all at once when I'm trying to restrict. If I do overeat/binge, it's on a lot of little things... 60 calories here, 100 calories there... and over the course of a day it brings my total up above 1000.
I've eaten all my planned meals and snacks for the day, and managed 840. Not a great result, but not world-shattering either. I'll still lose weight with that result. But when my calorie allowance resets at midnight, I'm planning to eat a single-serving mug cake with icing (400) and a pint of Arctic Zero (140), and some tea with almond milk (15).
"Dude," the alarm bells in my head are saying, "What the fuck is wrong with you? It's one thing to eat a massive quantity of sweets when your brain is screaming at you to eat. It still makes you a disgusting, fat pig and it's still the reason you have normal-weight obesity, but holy shit at least you wouldn't be PLANNING to do this to yourself!! What in the name of God's almighty dick are you THINKING, you FUCKING deviant?!"
So, yeah. It's 555 calories. All of it in sugar. Is that bad to eat all at once? Is it a binge? Am I about to do something I'm going to regret ALL day?
[Rant/Rave] bestworst day ever (rant/rave)
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Wed Mar 21 21:34:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/868let/bestworst_day_ever_rantrave/
---
( rant/rave)
rant:
my pet chicken died and i felt like shit. my parents dropped me off at the mall alone, so i walked to a nearby store and bought the binge food then walked back to the mall and binged in public and god i felt so pathetic. i felt disgusting i was crying on a bench in a lonely corner and people were looking at me and my diet coke cherry tasted like fucking bleach.
it was humiliating and i couldnāt try to purge because the only bathroom i felt okay using was backed up and the toilet was filled with grossness.
rave: mid binge my best friend texted me and i told him what was going on. so he biked to the mall and helped me out. we hung out for the day, and we ran around the mall being jackasses.
he got me a watermelon icee and then walked me to my bus stop, then i went to a basketball game and sat courtside.
mini rant pt. ii.
yeah so the courtside tickets let me into the vip dinner lounge where they had a lot of food and i pretty much binged again.
they had a dessert table that i fucked up and i finessed a bunch of jellybeans to take home which was dumb, but after that i didnāt want to kill myself.
maybe i was just tired from the mood swinging that day but going to bed i felt surprisingly content and really okay...
sorry this is long
[Rant/Rave] I GOT INTO MY DREAM COLLEGE FOR COMPUTER SCIENCE GUYSSSSS.
/u/unicornjellysandwich
Created: Wed Mar 21 21:23:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/868j7r/i_got_into_my_dream_college_for_computer_science/
---
6 months ago i was recovering from a recent breakup and overwelmed with school but im so fuckin glad i pulled through.
celebrating with doughnuts
[Goal] Calorie milestone!
/u/DustyKangaroo [5'2 | CW 137 | -25lbs | GW 100]
Created: Wed Mar 21 20:54:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/868crf/calorie_milestone/
---
I've always had a problem with binge/over-eating, its so frustrating. But! Last year, for a few months, I kept myself strictly at 1200 a day (my first attempt at some damn self control). Then brought it down to 1000, and maintained that for a few months (which is a big accomplishment for the person that could eat two pizzas alone in one sitting....)
But then, this month, I lost it, and ate way over my limit for about two weeks and felt like such shit. It was horrible.
But now, I've kept myself at 800 for 5 days running! I know it's not the lowest people have gone, so maybe it doesnt seem like much, but its a new low for me and I *love* the stability I'm feeling from it.
I know it isn't much of an accomplishment compared to some people, but I'm really proud of myself and have no one else to share it with.
[Discussion] Going to just collapse pretty soon
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 87 | BMI 14.5| 17F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 20:27:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8686hq/going_to_just_collapse_pretty_soon/
---
Depression has given me no will to fight it. No will to get better. Like why would I fight for my life if I wanna die anyway?
So recovery attempts have been a total failure lately. It's fucked up but I am just trying to get some shit done this week before I either go to the hospital next week, or I just pass out and get taken to the hospital before then. Any time now, I'm just gonna pass out.
I get super dizzy and see stars every time I stand up and a few times I even fell over. Anyone else feint from their ED?
[Help] Help! I think my little brother has an Eating Disorder and I have no idea how to help!
/u/help_my_aneroxic_bro
Created: Wed Mar 21 20:05:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86817i/help_i_think_my_little_brother_has_an_eating/
---
My little brother used to be slightly overweight, nothing crazy, just liked to snack a lot.
2 years ago (16 years old) he began his "extreme" dieting, where he would only eat one meal a day, and do extreme exercise, like running and biking 10 - 15 miles a day.
Now things, have started getting really bad !
He basically only eats a small breakfast and turkey sandwich for dinner.
You can see all of his bones, like it is really scary ! He says he is always dizzy and sees black and is getting depressed all the time, really scary stuff!!!
My family, and I keep trying to help him, by giving him advice and trying to show him that he is on the wrong path.
Every time we engage in this discussion, he gets really upset and isolates himself.
What should we do to help him ? I really want to help, but I have no idea how to fix this!
Thanks,
A brother trying to help
[Rant/Rave] 90 hours into a fast
/u/bunkinpumpkin [5'7 |CW:125.2lbs | BMI: 19.51 | -18.8 | GW: 125lbs | UWG: 118lbs]
Created: Wed Mar 21 19:29:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/867srk/90_hours_into_a_fast/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] This is it
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Wed Mar 21 19:23:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/867r5k/this_is_it/
---
I have been binging non stop everyday since mid November and today is the last day. I already gained 25 lbs and my family is sick of me eating all of the groceries. None of my clothes fit, my sister just called me disgusting and informed me that I have a problem cause I ate most of the oreos, and I feel uncomfortable in my body. I can't stand the extra weight and how much its literally weighting me down. I scared people when I go outside and I am unable to leave my house because I feel so ashame of how much I have gained. So much time has passed and I am fatter than I should be; the goals that I should have meet and all the progress that I ate up are killing me. I just want to close my eyes and wake up a year ago. Right now, there's nothing left but my fatter self and my disappointment/regret. I don't even feel human anymore. Everything around me is getting out of control and I am just letting it happen. After consuming thousands of calories everyday, food is just food. There's nothing special about it, the just shame and regret with every bite. I am done. I am going to stop. It's not worth it. I am setting myself a goal of being where I want to be at the end of this year. This is it.
[Other] My dog stopped me from purging
/u/SummerMournings
Created: Wed Mar 21 18:34:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/867fd5/my_dog_stopped_me_from_purging/
---
I was going to b/p. I felt it coming on all day. I ate a whole bag of chips in 30 minutes. I was going to purge but... I was in the bathroom and he was just standing there wagging his tail slowly with this very concerned look on his face. He wouldnāt leave me alone and started whining until I stopped. Heās now laying next to me on the couch. Im tempted to go binge some more but I donāt want to disturb him, so Iām sitting here sipping peppermint tea.
I definitely made a bad decision by binging but I honestly donāt think I can purge again. I feel like I would let my dog down? I know thatās kind of dumb but yeah. Has this happened to anyone else?
Edit: Iāve since verbally promised him I will do better and that the next time I feel the need to purge, I will take him on a walk instead.
[Discussion] Anyone else with a long term ED who has always had a higher BMI?
/u/rabbit-ira [5'5'' | 149.4 | 24.9 | UGW: 111 | 22 nonbinary]
Created: Wed Mar 21 18:23:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/867cm7/anyone_else_with_a_long_term_ed_who_has_always/
---
Iām just curious. My lowest BMI past childhood was around 21, and that was only for a few months. Iāve had an ED for nearly 8 years now and my BMI tends to fluctuate between 23 and 29 over and over. At this point iām not sure if iāll ever seen anything below 20. Anyone else?
[Goal] Question about my weight loss
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 21 18:04:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8677j8/question_about_my_weight_loss/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Gym routine - scared to gain muscle
/u/oriamB [5'6 | CW 135? | GW 120 | always fluctuating | F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 17:47:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86736q/gym_routine_scared_to_gain_muscle/
---
I need to see the scale go down, but the thought of having really strong arms & calves is so nice! But i know gaining muscle will make my weight go up so ill just stick to cardio and abs i guess...
[Discussion] dae not want to wear pants until they're skinny enough?
/u/jiangguo [5'7" | CW 125 | BMI 19.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 17:43:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86725x/dae_not_want_to_wear_pants_until_theyre_skinny/
---
i know a lot of people struggle with the opposite (not wanting to wear dresses/skirts until they're thin enough) but it's cold on the east coast and i haven't worn pants alone in a year and a half (besides for going to the gym/theatre) because they make me feel so much bigger and bulkier. i can handle baggy shorts but anything else makes me feel SO exposed
[Help] Boyfriend caught me purging and got mad :/
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 21 17:03:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/866s1i/boyfriend_caught_me_purging_and_got_mad/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Just started by first EC stack journey. Looking for others advice and experiences.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Wed Mar 21 16:40:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/866lg7/just_started_by_first_ec_stack_journey_looking/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] That feel when people notice your weight loss
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1.5" | CW202.4 | BMI38 | -18 | 22M]
Created: Wed Mar 21 16:27:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/866hvu/that_feel_when_people_notice_your_weight_loss/
---
Today one of my college instructors said to me "you look good!! You've lost weight." She is super fit, and tiny, she's honestly thinspo goals. The kind of person who actually likes kombucha and enjoys walking up ten flights of stairs, for example. I stumbled over "thank you, I've been working on it." and proceeded to drink my breakfast of black coffee/diet coke. That comment fueled my ED fire to be honest with you. Especially since my grade is tanking and I crave perfection. I feel in control/out of control. Not sure whether this is a rant or rave. Anyone relate?
[Rant/Rave] Paradox of wanting someone to notice and wanting to lose weight without being bothered about it
/u/chocoooomuffin [5'9" | CW 157 | GW 123 | -30 lbs | 24F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 15:43:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8665av/paradox_of_wanting_someone_to_notice_and_wanting/
---
I've been restricting hard since Monday. Yesterday and the day before I ran 3.5 miles on the treadmill before work, then hiked another 2.5 miles (I work on a mountain with hiking trails). This morning I ran 6 miles on the treadmill. My intake has been 600-800 calories each day. For some reason, I want my boyfriend to notice. I've been trying not to call attention to it (he knows about my ED and just wants me to be happy and healthy), but at the same time I want him to see that I'm just eating veggies in broth for dinner and be concerned. It's not fair and I'm actively trying to hide it/be discreet about it, but on some level I just want him to notice. At the same time I want to get down to my UGW without being bothered about it, and then have him notice how skinny I got and be worried. It's really not fair to him, but that's what my brain is doing. We've both been home all day from the snow (we live in the northeast) and I haven't eaten anything all day and he hasn't commented or noticed.
[Other] Went for a walk my ED brain had to do a double take at this sign
/u/heyheypicklejay [5'1 | cw 98 | gw 90 | bmi 19.32 | 20F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 15:03:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/865tsa/went_for_a_walk_my_ed_brain_had_to_do_a_double/
---
https://i.redd.it/bfzkznhdl6n01.jpg
[Discussion] ED's and anti-depressants
/u/jxwxll
Created: Wed Mar 21 14:49:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/865pdu/eds_and_antidepressants/
---
I just started taking Prozac for anxiety and depression, and my psychiatrist warned me that one of the major side effects is weight gain. I'm PANICKING. I'm almost constantly restricting to try and combat weight gain. Do any of y'all have experience with this or advice?
[Other] Completely relatable
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 21 14:44:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/865nty/completely_relatable/
---
https://i.redd.it/h4k3pwjyh6n01.jpg
So proud!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 21 14:25:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/865ho7/so_proud/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/865ho7/so_proud/
[Help] I didnāt restrict after a binge. How is this āprogress?ā Iāve been binge eating for six years. Only difference is now I get fat after.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 21 13:59:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8659o0/i_didnt_restrict_after_a_binge_how_is_this/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] /u/xwer15 posted about Meredith Foster about her ED, wanted to followup with a comparison pic I found online
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Wed Mar 21 13:55:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8658er/uxwer15_posted_about_meredith_foster_about_her_ed/
---
https://i.redd.it/ucs8b7f596n01.png
[Help] My lower abdomen is always bloated and gets 1000% worse when I eat or drink something.
/u/dontgiveared
Created: Wed Mar 21 13:45:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86558z/my_lower_abdomen_is_always_bloated_and_gets_1000/
---
Does anyone else deal with this? What do you do? It seriously looks like I'm six months pregnant anytime I ingest something.
[Discussion] Body shape
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Wed Mar 21 13:32:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8651mt/body_shape/
---
Can any of yall see your ribs and bones, but have a small bit of distended stomach at the bottom? I hate it and i feel really abnormal. I dont know if its dismorphia or im like actually deformed lol.
[Rant/Rave] Tried two different measuring cups to measure 1/2 cup of almond milk
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Wed Mar 21 13:28:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8650c6/tried_two_different_measuring_cups_to_measure_12/
---
I tried the seperated one first (the one that is specifically for measuring 1/2 cup) and I then put the milk i measured in that cup into another measuring cup (the one thats transparent with lines to show the cup measures and mL) and it said that the milk that was in the first cup is actually 1/3 cup. what the fuck am i supposed to believe??? measuring cups suck just let us measure with grams!! ugh
[Rant/Rave] Admitting defeat
/u/leahlilac
Created: Wed Mar 21 13:26:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/864zw2/admitting_defeat/
---
When running my fingers down my sides and
wrapping them around my hipbones feels
more like an admittance of guilt
than any kind of appreciation
When I itch a spot on my chest that used to
be just another stretch of skin,
and the collarbones creating mountains out of plains
are unfamiliar to what I've known my body to be
When I pull my legs towards my chest
and stretch and pull and squat and sweat,
and it aches so much they can't serve their purpose for days
but the skin jiggles when I move
and so I stretch some more
When watching the clock is a challenge
to see how far I can let the seconds move
before I have to eat, and the longer I push,
the more I can't remember why
and it ruins my spirit
But I'm wearing a 00, double zero, less than nothing -
less than less than nothing
and I'm clipping extra small skirts to my waist
because there's nothing to wrap fabric around
and I can't wear doll's clothing
Even if I am feeling like a fragile, tiny piece
of paper skin and porcelain
Dreading the weekend because having fun and letting loose
is impossible when you're staring at other people's plates
and measuring 1oz shots as they stack up
and I have to measure
if it's worth the calories vs. the absence of my own thoughts
[Goal] Update: 500 cal diet
/u/EvenRainbowsScream
Created: Wed Mar 21 13:18:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/864xke/update_500_cal_diet/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I feel like a volcano that's about to erupt
/u/china_doll [5'5.5 | CW150.6 | SW179.2 | 24.87 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 13:05:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/864tki/sometimes_i_feel_like_a_volcano_thats_about_to/
---
I'm nowhere near where I want to be, but I've lost 30lbs and some of my clothes are getting too big for me. I look at pretty clothes online and I make plans to go shopping. I convince myself that I'll find something that looks good on me and that I'll find eternal happiness in retail therapy.
Then I end up in tears in the changing room, every time. I get this overwhelming urge to punish myself. It's like the blood is boiling inside me and I need to lash out or I'll explode. I hit myself in the head with my fists. I dig my nails into my thighs or stomach until I break the skin. Then I wait for my eyes to be less red from crying, and leave the changing room empty handed.
I don't even know where I'm going with this. Had I known 10 years ago that I'd still hate myself and my body as viciously as I do now, I would have given up a long time ago.
[Help] FTM guys with EDs
/u/Prince_Arra
Created: Wed Mar 21 12:59:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/864rfo/ftm_guys_with_eds/
---
Hey I'm FTM with an ED, I've been on testosterone for just over 8 months and have noticed that, even though I'm restricting (usually eating under 800kcal a day), I've managed to gain a weight?! Has anyone else noticed this or know why?
I know that you gain muscle mass on T, but I thought it would just convert from my body fat?
I'm panicking a bit š
[Discussion] A cry for help from a desperate, lonely girl (rant)
/u/Languagefreak
Created: Wed Mar 21 12:50:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/864ogm/a_cry_for_help_from_a_desperate_lonely_girl_rant/
---
I have been struggling with an eating disorder for the past two years now. Always restricting but never became underweight. My boyfriend at the time supported me a lot and always listened to my, trying to calm me down when i was freaking out in self hate. Now i just talk to him occasionally and i just feel like he is so fed up with me and would stop talking to me altogether if i spilled my thoughts on this topic one more time. So i am keeping it to myself, while i am worse than ever. I am terrified of food, want to fast all day and still occasionally give in once a day and eat. At those times i tend to binge a little and i just want to kill myself because of it. I feel so out of control, i just want to be thin and not having to eat ever again. I feel like, if i show anyone how i really feel and what i am doing to myself, no one would ever want to be my friend anymore. I feel like I can't do anything right, I always overshoot.
[Discussion] has anyone ever told you āactually undereating will make you GAIN weight.ā
/u/starfiresgf
Created: Wed Mar 21 12:45:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/864mwy/has_anyone_ever_told_you_actually_undereating/
---
is there any substance to this claim? I always roll my eyes when people have said it to me, but it creeps in the back of my mind sometimes and makes me anxious
[Discussion] DAE eat something because they have to and not count it?
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 125 | ugw: 98 | 17F | š: starvingprincess]
Created: Wed Mar 21 12:31:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/864ijv/dae_eat_something_because_they_have_to_and_not/
---
This is probably really weird for someone with an ED tbh but if Iām fasting and I *have* to eat something but itās low enough in calories, I donāt count it as breaking my fast.
Like yesterday I started fasting at 3:30 and then I couldnāt sleep because of hunger, so at around midnight I ate some applesauce. But I decided it didnāt really matter because it was only 45 calories?? So Iām telling myself Iām at 21 hours for my fast. Even though I know thatās not right.
Am I the only one?
[Discussion] Vent session: What's the shittiest thing you've done to get out of eating?
/u/rabbit-ira [5'5'' | 149.4 | 24.9 | UGW: 111 | 22 nonbinary]
Created: Wed Mar 21 12:13:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/864cel/vent_session_whats_the_shittiest_thing_youve_done/
---
EDs suck, and I do not ever want to glamorize them. This isn't a thread to share advice or tips to get out of eating, it's to talk about how EDs make you do horrible shitty things to not eat and get some of it off our chests. Let's vent about the shittiest things we've done to get out of eating.
Like most people on this sub, I've had an ED for years so I've done some pretty stupid shit to avoid eating food. But the one that comes to mind makes me really sad.
I was on vacation with my family, but it was a weekday during the trip and I had to work for a few hours. We ordered Mexican food and I got something simple, I don't remember. I think I just wanted beans and veggies. When it showed up, it turned out it came with about 20,000 sides and I FLIPPED. It was like beans, rice, veggies, tortillas, guacamole, and salsa. I was overwhelmed as hell. I panicked.
So I pretended that I was going to take it into the hotel's business room to eat while I worked. I isolated from my family, sat in that room with my work, and tried to will myself into eating at least a bit. But I couldn't, so I just threw half of it away, (pushed like a full fucking meal into this tiny hotel trash can) then brought my "leftovers" back to the room. Later on when everyone was sleeping I threw my "leftovers" away, too. I had to chat with them about how good the food was for the rest of the day.
The dumbest part? I was "recovered" during this time. I thought that eating 1200 calories meant I no longer had an ED and could handle food without getting anxious. But not knowing the ingredients+calories+the sheer VOLUME of the food wigged me out. What a wake up call that was.
If I could change everything, I would go back and eat at least a bit of the food and share my leftovers, deal with it, and just move on. Not only do I hate wasting food, but I had to spend hours of my VACATION being anxious as hell and preoccupied with food instead of enjoying.
I don't know why this sticks with me so much, because I've definitely done worse things to get out of eating, but this memory just upset me. :( I'll share anything else I think of in the comments.
What shitty things have you done to get out of eating?
[Rant/Rave] Ugh, end of day binging ruining my weight loss
/u/whateverelsethereis [5'6" | cw:160 | gw: 130 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 21 11:37:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/864162/ugh_end_of_day_binging_ruining_my_weight_loss/
---
I'm pretty good at restricting during the day, but I think my anxiety/depression gets worse at night and I'm tired after the end of a long day and feel like I deserve food to comfort me or something. This is my first time seriously trying to lose weight in a while, I'm tired of feeling ashamed of my body and inferior to people skinnier than me, I want to feel attractive. I'm pretty good at not eating too much during the day, without even putting effort into it I could be at 600 calories by nighttime. But then I fuck it up with a binge that's up to like 1,200 cals :( Maybe I just need to restrict even more during the day and make sure I work out every day so that even if I binge at night I'll still be losing weight? I also might try looking into lower calorie foods that still give me the satisfaction of eating something yummy and being full but aren't a ridiculous amount of cals like a pint of Ben and Jerrys is.
[Rant/Rave] I know I'm so late but holy shit ECA stack
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 125 | GW: 116 | 21F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 11:33:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/864033/i_know_im_so_late_but_holy_shit_eca_stack/
---
I had been successfully restricting for a week(after a week long shit show/mental breakdown), and decided I wanted a reward/pick-me-up.
After minimal success from sudafed, I decided to give Bronkaid a shot and HOLY SHIT.
I'm on day 3 and seriously have no desire for food. I almost guarantee I'm a pound or two less than my flair.
I seriously think I can hit my goal weight (which would be my new low weight. Lowest weight currently is 117-118.)
How have I ignored this beautiful drug for so long.
[Rant/Rave] went out to eat w family for lunch:(
/u/starfiresgf
Created: Wed Mar 21 11:29:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/863z13/went_out_to_eat_w_family_for_lunch/
---
i just feel so terrible now, like Iāve set back every day of restricting. i calculated it into my lose it app and it says Iām only at 800 for the day but I feel so heavy?? also itās snowing so I canāt go for a jog and my boyfriends here and i donāt him to see me workout. hopefully he wonāt pressure me into eating at dinner, ill just say I think th food made me sick and then watch a mukbang if my stomach starts to growl. bad day:(
Supportive of me losing weight
/u/Rebound_Chick
Created: Wed Mar 21 11:13:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/863uce/supportive_of_me_losing_weight/
---
Just wanted to share my little success of the day since Iām having a shitty one otherwise but my ex/the guy I regularly sleep with is supportive of me losing 15 pounds to get back down to 100 since I was there when we first met. He was supposed to be, in my head, the biggest obstacle for this goal but Iām so happy that he doesnāt care. I gained too much relationship weight when I was with him because he was always watching what I ate but now heās being supportive! Just wanted to share with people who would totally get where Iām coming from.
[Discussion] Alter Egos
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 21 11:04:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/863rkg/alter_egos/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Cookbooks on amazon?
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 11:03:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/863r8i/cookbooks_on_amazon/
---
Anyone have recommendations for vegetarian cookbooks on amazon? Looking for ones with small low cal meals, possibly low carb, and with nutrition info. Any ideas? I just love cooking recipes from a book! Thank you in advance.
[Discussion] Exercise Purging/Compulsive Exercising
/u/takayl [5'10 | 178 | 25 | -20 | 18F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 10:58:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/863pkq/exercise_purgingcompulsive_exercising/
---
Hi, just wanted to hear about everyoneās experiences with purging via exercise/abnormal bulimia/all that stuff. What type of exercise do you usually do, how much do you usually exercise every week, basically anything.
As an intro, last year I got into running while I started restricting (for normal weight loss, non-ED reasons). I didnāt realize my calories were way too low for how tall I was and started binging after a few months, which terrified me so I turned to exercising. Before I knew it I was on the elliptical or treadmill for four hours a day despite my countless foot/shin injuries and TERRIFIED to stop doing so. Last semester was really difficult academically so I turned to just fasting/restricting after binging but now I have more free time and I can feel myself relapsing with exercise. Just curious to hear about anyone elseās experience because I felt like such an ED fraud for so long because I canāt throw up and was binging a ton but my food anxiety was ruling my life.
[Other] The more out of control my life feels, the easier restriction magically becomes
/u/dre-ezy [5ā4 | CW 101.2 | ftm ]
Created: Wed Mar 21 10:49:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/863n0w/the_more_out_of_control_my_life_feels_the_easier/
---
I was dealing with an incredibly hard binge period (gained around 20 lbs in 4
fucking months) and then I ODād on xanax and tylonal in the bathroom at chapters. Since then, being in the psychiatric ward, all my freedom taken away, I suddenly canāt eat. I look down at my food and it doesnāt even look good. The nurses donāt even care.
Itās funny. The more in control I am in my life, the more I tend to uncontrollably binge. The less freedom I have, suddenly restriction is the most easy feeling in the world.
i guess eating disorders really are all about control
[Rant/Rave] cw: recovery / binge / restricting
/u/zubatofficial
Created: Wed Mar 21 10:42:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/863kud/cw_recovery_binge_restricting/
---
lmao I went to therapy today and I told my counselor about how I didnāt eat at all til 6 yesterday and then binged like a fucking idiot and how I didnāt eat this morning because I binged and now sheās got me setting reminders in my phone to eat and now I am like honestly gonna be anxious every time I see the freaking notifications because I donāt want to eat and I donāt want to binge but if I donāt eat Iāll binge and Iām so fucking tired of this cycle I just wanna be normal like those Instagram vegans with the bowls of fruit who are all happy and have good skin and donāt look tired from fasting and binging for years.
I donāt know how to have a normal relationship with food and I never will because even if I regulate my eating and lose my extra weight in a healthy way Iām gonna always look in the mirror and see this fat bitch who I have been for my whole life.
I wish I was rich enough to go on one of those weight loss vacations where you just work out and have your meals prepped for you for months til youāre healthy and know wtf youāre doing.
[Discussion] energy when fasting?
/u/steamedbun_27 [165cm | too much / GW: 53kg | idk | -27kg | F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 10:06:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8639nt/energy_when_fasting/
---
So I've just completed my first 24 hour fast...it's not that bad, had waves of hunger but they went away after a short while. However I also experienced a little surge in energy. Does this happen to anyone else?
[Discussion] I got Naltrexone to stop the EDs; more info in the post
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 10:06:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8639kk/i_got_naltrexone_to_stop_the_eds_more_info_in_the/
---
Naltrexone is a drug to stop drug addiction and alcoholism. Itās an opioid antagonist and thus decreases the reward system in your brain towards those things. Itās been noted to also be correlated to weight loss.
Some drug company thought of combining wellbutrin and a low dose of naltrexone to make a new anti obesity drug. People on the drug lost ~8% more body weight than those on the placebo.
Wellbutrin is an ADHD drug and a stimulant, itās also an atypical antidepressant used a lot for those with BED. However those with EDNOS/Bulimia/Anorexia usually are not given it due to fear of seizures and extreme weight loss.
I take 12.6mg/day of naltrexone and 450mg/day of wellbutrin. I may increase to 25 mg/day naltrexone, but right now my body is adjusting and I got really sick on the 25mg dosage.
So far, I still have disordered thoughts about food but not right after taking it. Perhaps its a placebo effect since it has to saturate my system first before actually doing itās magic for the disordered thoughts. It has worked to stop alcohol from feeling good and from opioids giving an emotionally numbing feeling.
On my first day of taking it, before I got really sick, I was not inclined to eat all day until around the 8hr mark. Wellbutrins half life is 8hrs, so it may have been that even though iāve been hungry on it before. Perhaps the two work together somehow to bring the appetite suppressant more strongly? Naltrexoneās half life varies on the dosage, so because my dose is so small it is possible it has a similar half life right now.
If people show an interest Iāll post an update in a few weeks when itās fully saturated in my system and Iāll let you know my weight loss number too.
ā¤ļø
[Discussion] I didn't realize I have body dismorphia
/u/obama_means_family [Height 5'7" | CW 153.2 | BMI 24 | HW 190 | Gender F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 10:05:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8639i7/i_didnt_realize_i_have_body_dismorphia/
---
So I'm actually at a healthy bmi for the first time since high school (my goal is right at the line between healthy and underweight). My sister was superrrrrr tiny before having kids and after having them I know she's had a bit of trouble getting back to her pre-baby weight, but she still looks small despite some mom tummy. I'm a couple inches taller than her and looking at her I would swear up and down she is smaller than me in almost every way except breasts (that's prolly the only place I can see any changes on myself).
Well today we were going through some clothes and she offered me some shorts that were in my newest size. I gratefully accepted them because I don't have a lot of clothes that fit currently (but I still have tons of clothes that don't fit anymore lmao). Then she said "great, I can't fit them since they're a size too small for me" and talked about how she needs to start running again. This threw me for a loop because even with some baby weight I still feel like I'm this gigantic whale person standing next to a petite dancer-esque woman. Obviously this literally can't be the case when I'm now a size smaller than she is, meaning I have no real guage as to how large I am.
So I guess now I'm wondering what that moment was for you guys. When did you realize that A: you were actually making progress and/or B: that you were experiencing body dismorphia?
[Discussion] Anyone else get a weird sense of satisfaction from making other people uncomfortable
/u/fallowoath
Created: Wed Mar 21 10:03:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8638n2/anyone_else_get_a_weird_sense_of_satisfaction/
---
I'm remembering once when I was eating a whole jar of salsa by itself and my friends thought it was really weird and were like why do you do that and I was like, straight up, "I have an eating disorder," and they were like oh yah fair lmaooooo
idk it just seemed like revenge because I hate when people comment on how weird what I'm eating is
[Help] Calorie Counter
/u/thatcrookedsmilegal
Created: Wed Mar 21 09:36:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86312e/calorie_counter/
---
Anyone know any really great calorie counter apps, i cant write everything down all the time
One step forward, two back?!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 21 09:21:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/862wqj/one_step_forward_two_back/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] oh my god, I think I've found a route to recovery
/u/brontide-holophrasis [5'10" | cw: yikes | gw: 110 lbs | (ft)m]
Created: Wed Mar 21 09:08:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/862t4u/oh_my_god_i_think_ive_found_a_route_to_recovery/
---
guys. guys. *guys.* I can't believe I just realized this. so, I'm a trans guy, and it's kind of fueled my ED bc my logic has been that I can't have a female fat distribution if I don't have any body fat.
anyway, if any of you don't know what bears in the gay community look like, [here](https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu0rkgAudN1r1gjr3o1_500.jpg) (slightly nsfw, just in case) is a pretty good example of the stereotype. and it's just occurred to me that oh my god, I can *be that.* I'll be starting T before the end of this year if everything pans out, and *that's an option for me.* I'm pretty heavy already and do plan on losing some weight/starting weight training bc I have the upper body strength of a sad noodle, but like....I can be chubby *and* muscular *and* masculine and not have to be emaciated to stop hating myself so much. I can be chubby *and* attractive. that's a thing. I'm about to cry in class because this makes me so happy, I know that's so lame but I don't care omg
I'm not entirely sure if I'm ready for recovery, but at least it's something in the meantime to help calm me down. fuck, I'm so happy about this.
[Rant/Rave] in recovery. my boyfriend said my legs were "flabby" last night and im freaking out.
/u/Jemjon [5'7" | CW: 110 | BMI: 17.2 | GW: 108? | F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 08:58:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/862q6t/in_recovery_my_boyfriend_said_my_legs_were_flabby/
---
Ive been doing pretty good in recovery for 7 months, eating basically whatever i want and only having like 1 breakdown a week instead of every dayš
a while ago I went to a parade and walked forEVER and because im skinnyfat and weak im still sore as fuck four days later. Ive been having my boyfriend massage my sore ass legs like every day. last night he was massaging them cuz he is sweet and i was complaining about still being sore and he goes "well I know why they are sore but i shouldnt say it" and im like no tell me (assuming he is going to say because you never exercise, which is true and I wouldn't be offended) but he goes"your legs are sore cuz they're all flabby"
I just said "oh wow I didn't think thats what you were going to say.." and then proceeded to have a huge freakout crying about it. he knew he fucked up and i know he is super sorry. and prolly annoyed of my crazy ass. Ive been being a jerk and keep asking him like "how flabby am i though??" "do i need to build muscle i guess? or diet a little?" he just isnt responding to those questions which is good cuz my mind will warp whatever he says anyways.
But i cant get that word flabby out of my head now its all ive been thinking of since. I don't think i can let him touch my legs again or wear shorts or anything until I fix this. I thought they were flabby...but I was hoping it was body dysmorphia and nobody else could tell š He didnt want to cause a freakout or relapse, but I know he is right, im not an idiot! ive gained atleast 10 pounds in recovery but I think more like 15-20. (got rid of my scale yay...also my stats up top are not accurate!) and i really feel like its all gone to my thighs. and I do get sore easy and never exercise. and i miss the focus and accomplishment i felt when losing weight. maybe trying to get 'toned' and counting my protein intake instead of calories will give me something to focus on and make me not jiggly flabby and give me a healthy proud relationship with my body!! maybe hearing im flabby was just the thing i needed to be healthy...
or maybe ill go way overboard with it like I did with losing weight and lose all my other hobbies and be one missed workout away from a mental breakdown!
But I know I can't restrict. My parents will throw me in the mental hospital like a fuckin...I cant think of a joke. But they put my sister in there when she was self harming and I know they are serious..
sigh!
hope you guys are having a good week and im so thankful I can rant here!!
[Help] Iām panicked at the thought of eating with other people.
/u/lost-in-limbo1990 [5ā8ā | 27F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 08:45:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/862mhw/im_panicked_at_the_thought_of_eating_with_other/
---
Sorry for the rant, but I need suggestions... I work out of my home as an insurance adjuster. This ensures that I have the final say so Iām what I eat throughout the day (basically, I donāt eat) until I have dinner with my wife (which is super low calorie). Today I have to drive up to our headquarters for a meeting with all of our agents in the region, and there will be a reception cocktail hour afterwards. I donāt want to stick out by not eating, but Iām also panicking about eating since I wonāt have control over what there is to eat. From what I remember from the last meeting, they had cocktail shrimp as one of the buffet options. This is low calorie, so I may be able to do that. Otherwise, Iām just worried about the post-meal anxiety. I am working hard to not abuse laxatives or diuretics anymore, so I canāt squash that anxiety.
What do you guys do in social eating situations, especially with colleagues? Any recommendations to keep the anxiety at bay?
Safe to say Meredith foster is suffering from an ED and I'm pretty shaken up about it
/u/xwer15 [5'5| 127 | -32|GW:105| F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 08:24:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/862ggj/safe_to_say_meredith_foster_is_suffering_from_an/
---
https://i.redd.it/oculj7i5m4n01.jpg
[Discussion] DAE track what people around you eat?
/u/cybermua
Created: Wed Mar 21 08:13:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/862dg1/dae_track_what_people_around_you_eat/
---
Thereās this one woman at work that eats a hard boiled egg with avo for breakfast and salad for lunch every day without fail. Pisses me tf off
[Other] Restriction feels so good
/u/lollemons [5'6 | CW 108.2 | 17.53 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 07:41:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86257l/restriction_feels_so_good/
---
i love the way my stomach twists and turns in hunger but eventually gives up and remains silent.
i love seeing stars just from standing up.
i love feeling like i have so much power over my choices.
i love when people notice how little i eat.
i love being called small.
i love feeling tired and faint.
i love seeing the number on the scale go down little by little.
this all means iām doing it right
[Other] i stayed under 1200 for the first time in two weeks yesterday!
/u/freakytreesprite [5'2''|21F|GW:108|CW: manatee]
Created: Wed Mar 21 07:37:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/862452/i_stayed_under_1200_for_the_first_time_in_two/
---
I actually didn't binge yesterday and it felt sooooo good. All I've had today is bulletproof coffee and I'm going to see if I can make it to dinner without eating anything! I do have work though, so an almond milk latte might be in order to get me my calcium and vitamins lol.
Been without my meds for several days now...
/u/SnowLeopardSnuggles [5'1" | 28F | 119.2lbs | BMI 23.52 | -21lbs]
Created: Wed Mar 21 07:29:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8622at/been_without_my_meds_for_several_days_now/
---
Just need a place to vent. No quality content here!
So I take buproprion on the daily to supplement my mood stabilizer. A beautiful side effect of it is appetite suppression. Unfortunately, last week when I went to the pharmacy for a refill, I was informed that my insurance now requires me to get it through mail-order.
... and of course, this was at the end of the day Friday, so I couldn't call my insurance company until after the weekend.
So now I've been off of it for several days and not only am I exhausted all the time, but I literally CANNOT stop eating. It's like my self control has gone out the window and a different person is inhabiting my body. I start eating something and only after I've eaten it do I remember, "Oh yeah, I'm a fat piece of shit and shouldn't be eating this." I absolutely hate myself and how little I can control myself when it comes to food. I've gained ten pounds over the winter, and I was SO CLOSE to my goal weight last year. I'm at work right now and just downed a huge handful of cheetohs and want to cry. Like, WHY?!
[Help] Undiagnosed ED
/u/ultifem
Created: Wed Mar 21 07:00:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/861vfp/undiagnosed_ed/
---
Some back story is that Iāve been over weight since middle school and when I was a senior in Highschool I finally got tired of being the fat kid so I went vegan and pretended it was for the animals but it was really so I wouldnāt have options to eat at school. I never ate breakfast or lunch and I always walked home after school and that was how I started losing weight. But if I did eat too much I would purge and that was from pro ana blogs that I got that idea.
Freshman year of college I would work out every week day (the only days the gym was open) and only eat salad and pasta for every meal even though I cheated a bit every once an a while but would purge if I felt guilty about it. But this was the time I feel like I did the best for myself and feel like I looked the best.
Sophomore year I went to gym less and sometimes not at all and I took up smoking weed so I would eat more often and I started to gain but not that much that I hated myself.
Junior year (now) My roommate is fat and she would go to the caf breakfast lunch and dinner if I didnāt nip it in the bud. But whenever we go to either of the 3 I always fill my plate up and eat all of it. Plus I got a boyfriend and I guess you can call this happy weight because I feel comfortable enough around him to not care how flabby my stomach is and this isnāt body dysmorphia, I literally have what resembles sausage on my stomach and a bit on my back. (Mostly because I had meningitis in my belly button when I was a baby and my belly button area basically healed on my stomach which also makes me self conscious). But anyway, I hate myself when I look in the mirror and see how much Iāve reversed my progress.
After I realised I gained 20 pounds and am basically back to where I started freshman year and having trouble stopping myself from eating snacks and other unhealthy foods even though I feel guilty about it and purge every so often. Is there some tips you guys have to get me to stop? I try peppermint gum which helps until the flavour goes out and Iām going to try popping a rubber band on my wrist which I havenāt done since freshman year.
TLDR: undiagnosed ed but I feel like I have one and canāt stop myself from binging and purging instead of starving myself. Things you do instead of giving into the temptation? Thanks.
[Discussion] March 21st, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 06:51:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/861the/march_21st_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
What was the first thing you ate today?
Vitamin gummies š but then high fiber V8
[Intro] I'm back and in a weird situation.
/u/_what_the_truck [Height 5'4 | CW 127 | LW: 103 | GW: 110 | Gender F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 06:36:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/861q09/im_back_and_in_a_weird_situation/
---
I love this community and was deep into it in an alt account when I was at my lowest point of ED in university. I don't want to go back there again, I was taking appetite suppressants that gave me migraines and lost my period and was obsessive about food.
I recovered pretty well and over the last year worked a real adult sedentary office job and smoked weed every night and binged. I went from 115 to 130 in less than a year.
Now I'm living in a foreign country for work and my situation is pretty weird. I'm very stressed about living in a language that's not my mother tongue and a little homesick and depressed, and my ED is coming back in a real way. I wanted to lose weight here anyway, and it's one thing I can control in an environment that I am a complete novice in/don't understand.
I also am not smoking weed so I've managed to restrict well and fasted for 36 hours when I was feeling my worst. It was miserable but I can't help thinking that at least if I'm going to be depressed, I might as well get thinner?
I'm moving in with a roomate soon who is a fun young person and a stoner, who took me to a party and hangout where we smoked. Both times I went back to my temporary houseing and binged on whatever was in the minifridge. Weed takes away my self control.
I feel like an idiot because my life goals here--have a fun social life, hangout with my cool new roomate, relax and have fun--are at odds with my ED goals--isolate myself and don't eat, read instead of socializing. To make matters more confusing, my work here is self paced/I have no set schedule, there is very little calorie info on foods (although I am good at estimating in my head, and I'm happy to overestimate everything) and I don't have access to a scale.
I guess the point of this post is just to reintroduce myself. You all bring me comfort when my world is topsy turvy and it sure as hell is right now.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 21, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 21 06:12:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/861koy/daily_food_diary_march_21_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 21, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday March 21, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 21 06:11:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/861kdd/way_to_go_wednesday_march_21_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for March 21, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] Wish I had the ability to purge
/u/spaziobeat
Created: Wed Mar 21 05:11:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/861990/wish_i_had_the_ability_to_purge/
---
Iām suffering from Binge Eating Disorder and for the past few weeks Iāve been out of control. I wish I could purge, but every time I try to make myself vomit I just end up failing, or at best dry heaving. Not being able to purge really makes me upset.. I hate having to absorb all these calories and put on the weight. I just want to get rid of all this crap I put in my body.
At this point I just want to die. My ED has pushed me to the point where I feel suicidal every day. :(
[Rant/Rave] I havenāt eaten in 4 days.
/u/throwaway-please-
Created: Wed Mar 21 04:58:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8616vx/i_havent_eaten_in_4_days/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Eating out
/u/imnotsureiagreebutok
Created: Wed Mar 21 03:54:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/860ve3/eating_out/
---
Bargh, so I had to eat out with my friends tonight and Iād been studying the menu for a few days and tried to figure out the safest thing to eat. I have no idea how to count the calories I just consumed and Iām just sitting at home trying to crunch numbers and how much I may have screwed up and how to make up for it tomorrow. I guess I donāt really know what Iām looking for as a response to this, I just donāt have anyone else to vent to.
[Other] I was shocked that someone post about EDs like this, but turns out itās just about drugs...
/u/figglygiggly
Created: Wed Mar 21 03:41:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/860tfw/i_was_shocked_that_someone_post_about_eds_like/
---
https://i.redd.it/catv96em73n01.jpg
[Discussion] What is your phone/desktop/whatever background?
/u/fatpiggy4957
Created: Wed Mar 21 03:06:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/860o8f/what_is_your_phonedesktopwhatever_background/
---
I really need something good to keep me on track when I look at it
[Rant/Rave] Shirt I had as a kid fits great
/u/Firerose157 [5'4" | ~118 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 02:24:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/860hqi/shirt_i_had_as_a_kid_fits_great/
---
So, I just tried on a shirt I haven't worn since I was probably ~7. Fits great, basically just as well as when I was a kid. I tried it on in high school and even middle school and it didn't fit well, a little snug but now (19) it fits perfect again.
[Discussion] Has anyone ever been in a psychiatric ward because of severe anorexia?
/u/Bananafo
Created: Wed Mar 21 00:54:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/86043i/has_anyone_ever_been_in_a_psychiatric_ward/
---
Hi! Iāve been working on a project about ritual and been wondering if anyone has ever been in a psychiatric ward and what kind of ritual you developed there, since waking up until you go to sleep, the first thing you do in the morning, everything, this being since me, an anorexic for over 7 years has never been in a psychiatric ward and would like to know how your ritual changes from that of a ānormalā person. This is for an art project as I am an art student from Mexico, so sorry for the lack of a better explanation, if anyone who has been in one could contact me via message thru Reddit I would really appreciate it and we could discuss the project further, this would also be anonymous, but would love to get to know you and your experience there. Thanks in advance you beautiful ladies <3
[Discussion] I have one specific girl that haunts me and i constantly compare myself to, DAE?
/u/bunnywithbpd [5"1 | 111 lb | -18 lb | F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 00:44:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8602q1/i_have_one_specific_girl_that_haunts_me_and_i/
---
Could be celebrity, online personality or whatever ..
For mine, Her bmi is 17, shes just a regular pretty person and she has no eating disorder as I'm aware (I am weeping with jealousy) she's also EXTREMELY photogenic and it drives me insane
I just actually feel like the most absolute disgusting trash when I compare myself to her which on the bright side, kills my appetite.
Anyway on mobile so this is rant/rave
Goodnight people
[Rant/Rave] Not having enough self-control to restrict is making me suicidal
/u/finnkat
Created: Wed Mar 21 00:34:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8600xy/not_having_enough_selfcontrol_to_restrict_is/
---
I used to be able to restrict so easily, for months i would eat <500 cal/day, then it was <1000 cal/day and i lost so much weight, i was below 90lbs (a literal dream come true) but now i literally can't control myself around food. I've made a couple posts about this asking for help before and nothing has worked so far, everything i put in my mouth makes me binge, doesn't matter if it's a cookie or some canteloup, I'm suddenly eating everythinf around me. I'm not even hungry, I feel sick, but i just keep eating and I'm so upset. It's not just my stomach thats hurting anymore, everytime i eat my chest physically hurts from the shame and guilt and I hate myself so much for having no self control and I hate how I'm going to either be fat for the rest of my life or be starving for the rest of my life. I want to stay hungry but everytime I get even the slightest thought of food I pig out. I want to die so bad, I don't know what happened to me for me to lose control so badly but I don't want to live like this anymore.
[Discussion] What's your current waist size and goal?
/u/taeyeons-comrade [5'5" | 118 | 19.6 | F ā]
Created: Wed Mar 21 00:26:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85zzpn/whats_your_current_waist_size_and_goal/
---
Im obsessed with having a tiny waist but at the same time i get frustrated when my hips shrink too.. I just want wide hips and a small waist ffs
[Rant/Rave] Whoosh!!! š
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Wed Mar 21 00:20:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85zyn6/whoosh/
---
I am so fucking happy guys.
After plateauing for months and even eating 1400 calories for a week to try to break the stupid plateau, I stepped on the scale today after having contracted stomach flu.
I ate pasta yesterday night so I was expecting a huge spike.
Guys. -2 kilos. Overnight. I dropped 2 kilos overnight. I am so happy guys.
I celebrated by eating pizza for breakfast lol but I only had one very tiny slice and stopped myself from eating the other slice even though it was the last one!!!
[Rant/Rave] Need new start ... Again [Rant]
/u/RockerBabi
Created: Wed Mar 21 00:13:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85zxkb/need_new_start_again_rant/
---
I was on a massive stress binge because midterms were coming up, and I didn't want to have to think about calories, etc... all the time. I was eating probably ~2000 cal in sweets alone in addition to meals.
Now that midterms are finally underway, I'm somehow less stressed and decided today was going to be the day to start a healthier eating style.... I had yogurt for breakfast, some really tasty and moderate amount of what my dining hall had to offer, and fruits/tea for dinner. Good right? Yup! Until my RA walked into the study lounge with donut holes. I can't stop eating them, I'm on my 7th one now. They don't even taste good, there's too much sugar, but for the second I bite into it I'm happy-ish.
It's okay, tomorrow I'll try again.
[Other] You fat f***er !
/u/littlejanedoe- [5'2" |CW:121lbs | GW:115lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 21 00:04:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85zvu7/you_fat_fer/
---
https://i.redd.it/1u0eskhx42n01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] calculated my BMI...
/u/LynnieTheLemon [4'11" | CW: 118 | BMI: 25.31 | WL: -2 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 23:53:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85zu45/calculated_my_bmi/
---
So these are my results.
Your standard BMI is 23.83 a reading which classifies you as
healthy.
Your new BMI is 25.31 a reading which classifies you as
overweight.
Your new BMI healthy range is 86.25lbs to 116.6lbs
I feel so fucking fat even tho I'm just over 116.6 by approx. 1.4 pounds. I feel so fucking fat and ugly! Ugh!!!! if there was never a time to restrict it would be now! I totally hate myself but I am also pretty happy b/c I took a 4 hour walk to burn off the 2 poptarts I had for today. I feel so sore from the exercise but I also want to do more so I can drop down to 87.7lbs which is what I weighed in middle school. This sounds so dramatic and stupid but does anyone else get really fucking upset over their BMI?
[Discussion] Does anyone else have a really hard time sleeping when theyāre hungry?
/u/idk56177
Created: Tue Mar 20 23:18:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85zog9/does_anyone_else_have_a_really_hard_time_sleeping/
---
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] Iām jealous of people who donāt eat when theyāre depressed.
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: 155 | GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 23:05:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85zm49/rantrave_im_jealous_of_people_who_dont_eat_when/
---
I know thatās fucked up. But I gain so much weight when Iām depressed because I canāt stop eating. It becomes my only comfort. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] Rant about a shitty dietician and request for advice on how to maximise nutrients
/u/Cheskaz [5'8 | CW 135lbs | GW 110lbs | F 23 AUS | šCheskaz]
Created: Tue Mar 20 22:56:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85zkg9/rant_about_a_shitty_dietician_and_request_for/
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Went to a dietitian because my psychologist asked me to. Psychologist knows I'm not ready for recovery and had already spoken to the dietitian about how I was just there to get some advice on how to minimise damage while sticking to my 600 calorie limit. So, in a turn of events that will surprise no one, the dietitian ignored this, gave her best impression of a condescending asshole, stuffing people not ready to recovery through her ED shaped recovery hole. No Julie, I don't think switching to a 2000 calorie diet, not weighing myself, and reducing my calorie counting is really all that realistic. Also apparently different sizes don't exist because she scoffed at the idea of my TDEE being 1500 because the average woman should consume 2000 calories.
With that out of the way, any tips for how to minimise the damage restriction does? Ways to maximise nutrients while minimising calories?
WITH THE BLANKET ASSUMPTION THAT NO ONE HERE IS A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL/GIVING ADVICE AS A LICENCED PROFESSIONAL
[Help] Up eight pounds?!?!
/u/fernsandfoxes [5ā6ā | CW:120 | BMI:19.45 | GW:110 | 18F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 22:38:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85zh4u/up_eight_pounds/
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I came home for spring break this last weekend and since then all Iāve been doing is binging and purging. When I stepped on the scale today it said I was up eight pounds, is it possible to gain this much in a few days? I was eating a lot but I was purging most of it. I am so disgusted with myself.
[Help] Sorry Iāve posted a lot here lately I just need answers
/u/slythery_snek
Created: Tue Mar 20 22:25:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85zesg/sorry_ive_posted_a_lot_here_lately_i_just_need/
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[removed]
[Help] EC stacks with or without food? And what about taking them alongside SSRIās (such as Lexapro/Escitalopram)?
/u/chrysanthemym
Created: Tue Mar 20 21:58:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85z99o/ec_stacks_with_or_without_food_and_what_about/
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Hey everyone, title speaks for itself but.
Should you take EC stacks specifically on an empty stomach or not?
I did my first one today on an empty stomach and ended up feeling extremely uncomfortable the majority of the day.
Iām considering taking it tomorrow morning immediately after I finish breakfast but Iām concerned itāll negate the appetite suppressant affects. Any advice?
And how about itās interaction with SSRIās? Specifically Lexapro or Escitalopram? Do any of you take these and also do EC stacks?
[Rant/Rave] Social events around eating = my worst nightmare
/u/FreshOpportunity [5'1 | CW 117 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 21:38:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85z53h/social_events_around_eating_my_worst_nightmare/
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So I have social anxiety and (of course) issues with food. Tomorrow, my major's student society at my school is having a lunchtime workshop and they have a bunch of cool sponsors and I want to make more friends in my major buuuutt it's all so stressful?? Like I have no friends in the first place so it's intimidating to go in and talk to a bunch of new people (although I do sorta know one person going) and then they're also serving food so?? Do I go and continue restricting and get comments about why I'm not eating or do I eat but then probably binge and go way overboard all day? Or, do I pick the path I always take, and avoid this by skipping the event entirely?
I just hate that I turn such tiny things into massive internal battles with myself.
[Other] Sometimes Iād wish you would notice (unsent letter that I feel belongs here)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 20 21:29:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85z36x/sometimes_id_wish_you_would_notice_unsent_letter/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm always cold
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5' 3" | CW: Too high | GW: 89]
Created: Tue Mar 20 21:15:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85z086/im_always_cold/
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It doesn't matter whether I'm outside or inside, or wearing a coat; I always feel cold. I know it's pretty selfish and that most other people feel fine, but I sometimes wish they'd turn up the heat at my school. Also, where I'm living, the temperatures have barely risen from February temps. It's the middle of March and we're actually supposed to get 3-5 inches of snow tomorrow. At least if it was warmer outside, I'd be able to feel comfortable walking out of school at the end of the day. Honestly, the highlight of my day these days is getting home and turning on my space heater. Also, I know I haven't posted here in a while but I just really had to rant about the cold lol
[Goal] Going on a 14-day water fast tomorrow. This will serve as an accountability thread I guess.
/u/cashmeremoose
Created: Tue Mar 20 21:09:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85yyyj/going_on_a_14day_water_fast_tomorrow_this_will/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] HELP WATER WEIGHT
/u/IiIbeansprout
Created: Tue Mar 20 20:55:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85yvte/help_water_weight/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] silly rant about mouth pain and not being able to purge
/u/milkeyedmenders [5'5 | CW 109 | BMI 18.35 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 20:53:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85yveu/silly_rant_about_mouth_pain_and_not_being_able_to/
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the worst feeling is not realizing your plan to puke isnāt gonna work out until after youāve already done the binging lol
when i put my fingers in my throat i got this strange tingly/burning sensation throughout the entirety of my mouth that just wasnāt going away.. really painful and hard to describe, not like a soreness or any oral pain iāve had before. weird taste too. this has happened the last two nights and the only conclusion i can come to with the help of google is that its probably a vitamin deficiency thing or something..either way, stomach acid wonāt help and my bodyās not allowing me to power through it anyway so iām just sitting around thinking about all of the calories inside of me rn. this foray back into daily purging sure was fun, but looks like iām gonna have to start restricting again if i want to stop gaining weight and hating myself :/
[Rant/Rave] I was diagnosed with bulimia today.
/u/ZoeyTheAlien [5'7 | CW: 144 | BMI: 22 | GW: 110 | 19F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 20:51:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85yut1/i_was_diagnosed_with_bulimia_today/
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This is probably one of the worst days ever. Ive been throwing up purposely since middle school. I stopped for at least a year or two then it's slowly coming back and now its any everyday thing. I just don't know how to processes this. I feel like I can somehow help myself but my psychologist wants be to go to see a specialist in eating disorders. My biggest fear is that they'll make me stop losing the weight and I won't make it to 110 or at least 120 by summer. Another fear is that ill make it to 120 or less and they'll hospitalize me or something like that. I can tell that my family is suffering when they see my walk to the trash or bathroom and throw up everything I just ate. I feel like I cant control it. Ive been losing a pound almost everyday now. I guess I do need the help...
[Discussion] For those who smoke, what weed strains have you found that don't heighten your appetite?
/u/palespirit [5'3" | CW: 105 lbs | GW: 95 lbs]
Created: Tue Mar 20 20:11:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ylp4/for_those_who_smoke_what_weed_strains_have_you/
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I smoke pretty regularly to help with anxiety/depression, but I swear 99.99999% of strains make me binge ... (Open to all suggestions, but I will say that I lean toward hybrids and indicas because sativas tend to make me even more anxious.)
[Goal] Flu and restriction
/u/borrellia [5'11|CW:143|GW:115|21F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 20:06:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85yknq/flu_and_restriction/
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So, I've been sick with the flu for the past three days and it's completely torn away my appetite -- I had a fever of 103 and didn't even want to look at food, and because of my intensely sore throat even swallowing water was painful. As a result, my stomach is extremely flat, I feel light and taut, and I've lost 7 lbs!!! I know that it's probably all water weight, but it still feels so awesome to know that I haven't eaten anything in three days and I'm totally fine. Here's to hoping I can turn this sickness into something positive :)
[Rant/Rave] I'm disgusted by purging but I can't seem to stop
/u/lbredj [5'3" | 104 | BMI 18.1 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 19:54:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85yhxl/im_disgusted_by_purging_but_i_cant_seem_to_stop/
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I'm so tired of the sore throats, the puffy face, feeling like complete shit. But even though I feel so gross and I KNOW it's ruining my body, I just? Can't seem to stop doing it.
Like at this point I've done it so much that I don't really get a "high" anymore. I guess it's become an actual problem or addiction or whatever, but to me, it feels like nothing is wrong. I do it because I LOVE the feeling I get afterward. There's something about feeling so tired and exhausted that I like so much.
Idk what i'm trying to say rn, but thanks for reading this mess lol.
[Rant/Rave] Ugh I hate myself currently 145 and goal weight is 95
/u/slythery_snek
Created: Tue Mar 20 19:54:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85yhwc/ugh_i_hate_myself_currently_145_and_goal_weight/
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Iāve always been obsessed with my weight and what I eat to a degree but it usually only lasts a day or two because I canāt stick with it I binge then feel awful about myself and want to just give up and eat garbage I get more depressed as a result and care so much but just eat whatever and stop working out completely then I kick it off again for a bit but it never lasts and I never actually get smaller I just need help I binged really bad today and feel so sick but I ate all my favorite stuff because I promised myself tomorrow was a new day and I was gonna commit to it and loose the damn weight and finally be happy now I just got to figure out what (little bit) to eat and try to do 500 cals or less and work out an hour or run a few miles!!!
[Discussion] Iāve been (accidentally) eating a lot more recently and itās bumming me out
/u/SummerMournings
Created: Tue Mar 20 19:24:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85yatd/ive_been_accidentally_eating_a_lot_more_recently/
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So, st Patrickās Day weekend I actually forced myself to not count calories and (mostly) ate normally. I had a great time!! I did purge one night after dinner, but no one noticed. I ended up gaining 2.5 lbs but itās gone almost back down since then. Not a huge deal but...
I feel like Iām losing control. I used to happily eat 500-800 cal every day with no problems and I was doing great. Losing like a champ, but not starving myself, and on my way to my gw. But the past few days I feel like Iām sliding back into binging territory and I AM FREAKING OUT. Like Iāve had 900 cals two days in a row (which I realize is still restricting) but I didnāt PLAN to eat that much. I wanted to stick to 500 both days and I couldnāt do it. And I canāt even purge cause my bf is home. But honestly itās the loss of control thatās freaking me out so much.
I had finally gotten to a place where I could look at snacks and NOT WANT THEM while still allowing myself to eat enough to feel healthy. I donāt know what to do now :( I am terrified to go back to binging all the time and gaining back what Iāve lost these past few months. Has this happened to anyone else?? Help!!
[Rant/Rave] Why have I never owned a food scale before?!
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 171.4 | 30.00 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 19:19:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85y9pm/why_have_i_never_owned_a_food_scale_before/
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So my new food scale arrived last night and I can't believe I've gone this long without owning one. I always question the calorie content of foods. I don't get SUPER stressed over it, but unless something is prepackaged I worry. I absolutely DESPISE trying to guess if a banana is "large" or "medium" or how many ounces a piece of meat is.
WELL NOT ANYMORE because I can measure things precisely in grams now!!! I had a little omelette for dinner and I measured the cheese and butter and onion EXACTLY and it was so comforting. I'm just really pumped and wanted to share.
[This is the scale I purchased](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01JTDG084/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1) if anyone wants to check it out. It was only $10 and it has grams, ounces, fluid ounces, etc. I really hope this helps me keep my streak of low calorie days going as long as possible. Hope you all are having a good day <3
[Discussion] Has anyone here been on Bupropion?
/u/MymlanOhlin [5'5" | CW: 131 lbs | 22 | WL: 31 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 19:17:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85y94f/has_anyone_here_been_on_bupropion/
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I actually got pissed off at my last meeting with my counselors, and demanded help and to talk about the things I feel are relevant. I feel like they did take me seriously this time, if only a little bit.
For what I believe are my main issues (extreme fatigue, binge eating, and lack of ability to focus), they brought up the medication Bupropion as a future possibility. I'm just wondering if any of you guys have any experience with this drug? My eyes glimmer with hope at the fact that loss of apetite is a fairly common side effect according to the research I've made.
I'm currently on Fluoxetine and my depression and panic anxiety is stable with it, but I feel like I need to solve these other issues as well and Bupropion might help. Thoughts?
how to stop eating when I'm home alone?
/u/patriotsfan4life [5'2 | CW: 100 | GW: 70 | 14F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 19:11:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85y7wj/how_to_stop_eating_when_im_home_alone/
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There are lots of times that I get to be home alone (or with my dog), and for some reason my brain just goes "ok time to eat!" I think it's because I don't want my family to see me eat and think I'm fat, so I try to eat then and not when they're home. I wouldn't say it's a binge but it may develop into one soon. Please help. Any tips would be appreciated, thank you.
[Other] broke up with my boyfriend, time to stop eating
/u/dyingtobepretty [5ft|94lbs|GW: 85lbs|F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 19:03:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85y5r6/broke_up_with_my_boyfriend_time_to_stop_eating/
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summers coming, and iām gonna be single for the first time in a long time. i was eating normally for a while but i just hate it. i hate feeling bloated every day, i hate how my brain feels when iām eating. iāve been wanting to go back to restricting for a while now anyway. but now iāve got some motivation. in the past, iāve always been my best most confident self when itās hot out, iām single, and iām skinny&/actively restricting.
iām about to cry over my ex and eat some ice cream as a āgoodbyeā to food for now (or at least food that tastes good). any suggestions on what i should get? :)
[Discussion] I'm at a point where food no longer brings me even brief happiness.
/u/aprilfades
Created: Tue Mar 20 18:17:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85xuil/im_at_a_point_where_food_no_longer_brings_me_even/
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Well, this sucks even more than before.
I've always had a sort binge/restrict cycle, but lately I've lost a lot of interest in food. Was restricting <400 easily. But even then, I could binge and get that brief satisfaction that always drove me to doing so.
But I binged the other day, and it was just nothing. No satisfaction, just discomfort and shame. So I tried binging again. And again and again. It's been 5 days, and nothing's really made me happy. I'm not even hungry. I don't want this garbage. I'm just desperately draining my money in the hopes that there's still something to fall back on for happiness. I've tried pretty much all my guilty pleasure foods. And it's just a fucking chore. And I feel so sick. Like nauseous all day. I'm done with this. I find this so much worse than before. I feel like there's nothing in my day worth looking forward to.
Welp, back to restriction I guess. Honestly, I can't wait for that wonderful feeling of just being totally empty. Maybe that can be my new satisfaction? Wow, haha, what a sick statement.
[Tip] TIL donating blood uses around 650 calories :O
/u/Onthedownlowplz [5'8|54kg|M]
Created: Tue Mar 20 17:48:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85xn2d/til_donating_blood_uses_around_650_calories_o/
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http://www.medicaldaily.com/why-donating-blood-good-your-health-246379
[Rant/Rave] Any advice
/u/Sb22312 [170 cm| 134 | 21.05|-16lb]
Created: Tue Mar 20 17:45:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85xmbq/any_advice/
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I'm supposed to be going out for a flat meal to nandos, I'm stressing the fuck out like I'm in two minds should I order chicken breast , salad and grilled veg which would come to around 500 so I could conceivably work it into my daily intake . But then I really like the veggie burgers and part of me wants the veggie burger , chips and garlic bread which would come to around 1100 . Which is obviously a lot higher ... but I worry if I go for the healthier option it sets me up for a binge later on
I'm planning to go for a run in the morning, skip breakfast and lunch and go to the gym and part of me hates that my ED makes me feel like I have to do that but then I want to have like just a really nice meal .
I feel like they'll think it's weird if I don't order chicken as the whole point is getting chicken
. 1 of my flatmates knows about my ED the others think I'm just really healthy(I think one suspects bc she's a girl and a med student) one of them was like well you don't eat takeaways . And it's like bc I don't allow myself too but I crave junk food and always stress to much to buy it . I'm worried that they'll comment if I do get chips and garlic bread because I don't eat potatoes or bread normally I'm just really stressed and I don't know what to do . The 1 flatmate who knows about my ED says I can bail if I want to and that's really appealing but I know I'll feel worse if I do .
[Discussion] I HATE the binge-restrict cycle!
/u/DavidMitchellTurtle [5'8" | CW 192lbs | GW 115 | BMI 28.8 | Lost 68]
Created: Tue Mar 20 17:28:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85xhss/i_hate_the_bingerestrict_cycle/
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I'll be doing fine, lose 10lbs in less than a week, my man period will come and I'll eat mashed potatoes with half a cup of vegan butter in it, with that fucking lady from secret eaters in my head saying "This... is Maxwell. Here he is dipping into a sneaky 600 calorie snack," and gain back 8lbs in like 3 days so I may as fucking well had just properly dieted, whatever that means
Ugh
[Help] What are quiet calorie burning exercises I can do?
/u/starfiresgf
Created: Tue Mar 20 17:16:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85xeg4/what_are_quiet_calorie_burning_exercises_i_can_do/
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I feel like I canāt sleep peacefully anymore without feeling like Iāve done a satisfactory amount working out but my room is right above my dads the walls are paper thin, so no jumping jacks or anything like that. I usually do squats but itās just not cutting it anymore.
[Rant/Rave] but I'm recovering from a restrictive ED so it's okay...
/u/2fckk
Created: Tue Mar 20 17:15:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85xe55/but_im_recovering_from_a_restrictive_ed_so_its/
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I got up early today, smoked weed, and got burger king breakfast from the drive thru. I never smoke weed before my job with extremely aggressive teenage clients, I haven't had fast food breakfast in years, if ever honestly. And I have never gone through a drive thru in the morning, ever. But i'm recovering so it's okay. I then took the food to an empty parking lot far from work and shoved it into my mouth quickly and secretly. But i'm recovering so it's okay.
After work, i drove to chikfila in a snow storm because the mcdonalds was 27 minutes away. I never drive more than i have to in snow storms. I never eat fast food at 3pm or ever really. I never eat fast food twice in one day, wtf? I hate fast food. It's against everything I believe in as a person. I drove to an empty lot and shoved it into my mouth in silence. But its okay because i'm recovering.
I also bought $50 worth of unhealthy junkfood last night at the grocery store. But its okay because I'm recovering.
Do i have acid reflux because I'm recovering and I'm eating more foods? Or do I have acid reflex because I'm bingeing on complete shit.
Is this normal in recovery? Or am I using recovery as a front to engage in more and different disordered behaviors?
I feel terrible. I don't feel recovered. I feel out of control.
[Other] This is why I binge
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80lbs | 15.1 | -23lbs | f]
Created: Tue Mar 20 16:54:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85x8k4/this_is_why_i_binge/
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http://imgur.com/n3Pi0eu
[Help] A girl at work almost makes me want to relapse
/u/ImAlsoAlwaysWorried [4'11" | 110 | 23.59 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 16:52:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85x7zr/a_girl_at_work_almost_makes_me_want_to_relapse/
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Hi everyone. I've been in recovery from anorexia for almost two years and this girl at my work makes me want to give it all up. I'll start off by saying I"m shy. Like really shy. I rarely have anything to say that I think is important enough to say out loud so I just don't say it. The girl I work with, I'll call her R, doesn't say much to me either. But today we had a new girl, E, and R was all about talking to her she started conversations with her, asked her questions, and never gave one-word answers (which is how she talks to me). I tried talking to her twice and both times she ignored me. At the time, I felt like such an outsider and like no one wanted anything to do with me. Which brings me to wanting to relapse. As I was driving home, my little ED brain was going "Hey, you know what will solve this? Not eating for the rest of the day!" And I feel like I want to go along with it.
I just don't know what to do
I'm sorry if this was a jumble of words or a mess to read. I'm feeling really emotional and this was like a "stream of conscious" type thing.
I just wanted to vent/get advice if you have any. Thanks for reading. <3
[Discussion] Does anyone else still count calories when they binge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 20 16:17:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85wxug/does_anyone_else_still_count_calories_when_they/
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Today's one of those days.. Total ended up being 3052. The guilt is here to stay for a few days.
[Help] When life gets out of control, I relapse. Life is out of control.
/u/build-the-house [5'6" | 130 | -50]
Created: Tue Mar 20 16:15:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85wxee/when_life_gets_out_of_control_i_relapse_life_is/
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I got bad news today (kid needs surgery) after a bad day (over my head at new job) after a horrible yesterday (constant kid attitude and fights w/ husband that make me want to leave).
All I can think about is weight and food and restricting bc that is the easiest way to control anythingāeven though it wonāt actually give me any control over the actual bad.
Venting mostly bc I want to stay in recovery and in this healthy weight, but I fucking know me. I dunno.
[Discussion] Noticing other peopleās disordered eating habits or over analyzing?
/u/alexxxxis [5'9 | CW:129 | BMI: 19.2 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 16:07:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85wv23/noticing_other_peoples_disordered_eating_habits/
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Ever since Iāve had an eating disorder I pay close attention to other peopleās eating patterns because I need to make sure theyāre eating more/faster/unhealthier than me. Lately Iāve noticed one of my friends does a lot of the same stuff that I do; denying food when offered, offering other people his food, saying heās really picky, saying heās cutting out certain things, saying heās not hungry or has a stomachache, etc. etc.
I donāt know if Iām overreacting or if he has actually has an eating disorder. He doesnāt know I do and I donāt want to ask him in case he doesnāt. Weāre pretty good friends but we never talk about stuff like this. Iām worried about him but I donāt know what I can do or if he even has a problem. What can I say or do to find out if he does have an eating disorder without explicitly asking him?
[Rant/Rave] A panic attack ended my b/p cycle
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Tue Mar 20 15:38:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85wmtm/a_panic_attack_ended_my_bp_cycle/
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Things have really been piling up. My work sucks, I have no friends. My brother has been super triggering, saying stress is killing his appetite and he barely eats anymore, etc. Iāve been b/pāing at least 2x a day for weeks. Iām not losing any weight, and Iām a puffy fat mess from it.
Last night, after a rumor was spread about me at work, I lost it. I had a horrible panic attack. I (TW) self harmed, cried, screamed...lost all control.
I woke up with a horrible headache, eyes swollen shut from crying...and absolutely no appetite. I even ate something, which usually starts a binge, and I had no desire to continue eating. I feel amazing. In control. I think itās over. This horrible b/p cycle is broken.
Back to restricting I go šš»
[Rant/Rave] Iām having the worst day.
/u/throwaway2019170
Created: Tue Mar 20 15:29:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85wk8b/im_having_the_worst_day/
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Sorry for the rant but hereās whatās happened today so far:
School is getting rough
My boyfriend went to go hangout with a chick I donāt know (Iām all for having friends of the opposite sex but ugh just today of all days?? But he got stood up sooo š¤·š¼āāļø)
The dance team captain told the coach that I WOULD BE THERE FOR TRYOUTS
I dropped my phone in the toilet, put it in a bag of rice to soak, checked on it, a piece of rice got stuck in the charging port. Thankfully I got it out and it now seems to be charging normally
The light in my room went out
And to top it off: I gained 2lbs from spring break last week.
Today can just fuck off, honestly :(
[Rant/Rave] can't trust drive thru soda
/u/illendmylife [116.5lbs | bmi: 16.9 | gw 100lbs | f]
Created: Tue Mar 20 15:19:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85whmp/cant_trust_drive_thru_soda/
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i ask for diet coke and they give me regular coke / coke zero. i'm honestly not sure which they're giving me. i only take a small sip and then throw it away. i don't want to risk it. so annoying
edit: i always ask my brother to taste it but he asks why i care so much
[Other] DAE get extremely distressed when you spill food on your clothes?
/u/dre-ezy [5ā4 | CW 101.2 | ftm ]
Created: Tue Mar 20 15:05:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85wduk/dae_get_extremely_distressed_when_you_spill_food/
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Whenever I spill food on my clothes I literally get so disgusted with myself that I want to stop eating forever and I want to shred my goddamn skin and ugh
[Discussion] The highs and lows of my ED make me feel more alive
/u/chocoooomuffin [5'9" | CW 157 | GW 123 | -30 lbs | 24F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 14:57:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85wbbc/the_highs_and_lows_of_my_ed_make_me_feel_more/
---
I saw a therapist a few years ago and she had me do a mood chart. I was supposed to track my mood at various points throughout the day. At this point I was trying to eat normally and my mood was always on the low end. She said I āneeded more joy in my lifeā and I told her I missed bingeing and restricting because I got joy from them. And then I stopped seeing her because I didnāt want to give up my stuff.
A few weeks ago I attempted recovery and my nutritionist and I were talking about ānormalā eating. She said that a cookie probably tastes better when you only have a little bit, and that bingeing isnāt enjoyable, anyway. But I told her I enjoyed it. And the fact is, I do. Thereās something so freeing about eating way more than I need to just because it tastes good. Idk. I just love restricting and later bingeing. Either way I enjoy it. Itās fucked up but I like it. I feel so much more anxious trying to eat normally. If Iām restricting, I know Iām losing weight, and if Iām bingeing, the food is yummy and comforting. Donāt get me wrong, this sucks and sometimes I really hate being so fucked up about food, but itās still a weird thing that I enjoy sometimes. Without it my life feels empty and stressful.
[Rant/Rave] Ideas for non-self destructive behaviour
/u/throwaway_red_007
Created: Tue Mar 20 14:47:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85w8k0/ideas_for_nonself_destructive_behaviour/
---
Hi all
I'm back in the cycle of BP and work has been completely stressful. At the moment I am drinking to cope (more calories) and I'm soo tempted to start smoking again. I'm after ideas for non-destructive coping mechanisms. So many times I see things like "take a bath" or "go for a walk or run" but these things just make me more stressed I try to avoid looking at my body and running just results in having it fail to perform because of the current level of abuse. So guys. What do you do to de-stress?
[Discussion] DAE have their perfectionism from ED tendencies spill over into other parts of their life?
/u/ghost_khajiit
Created: Tue Mar 20 14:35:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85w4s1/dae_have_their_perfectionism_from_ed_tendencies/
---
Or I guess, my perfectionism feeds into my ED. Either way, I'm curious who else feels the same.
I'm constantly scheduling my day down to the hour and reading up on personal finance, journaling, career guidance, skincare, and anything else that could help me be the most perfect version of Meā¢. It would make more sense to me if I was this way before my ED, but I can only remember obsessing over this perfect version of myself after my disorder took hold.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
[Help] My friend stopped eating
/u/iProbablyLikeYoux
Created: Tue Mar 20 14:24:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85w1dx/my_friend_stopped_eating/
---
She told me she's struggling with her eating, and I've noticed it for a while. I can't stop obsessing over it. I'm so fucking worried.
Every time I eat I feel inadequate. Every time I see her I feel unworthy. I'm so fucking stupid. I can't tell if I'm worried for her or jealous. I'm literally a disgusting piece of trash.
I just want her to feel better and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I can tell I'm starting to relapse again based on my thoughts. I'm so lost and upset, I don't know I don't know I don't know
[Rant/Rave] This is a completely generic, probably uninteresting post about me binging just now but GOD I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH AND NEED TO RANT.
/u/hairychestnuts
Created: Tue Mar 20 14:14:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85vyim/this_is_a_completely_generic_probably/
---
I'm in the middle of my exams and the past few weeks I've gained about 3 kilograms from just constant grazing. I gorge on carbs and sugary shite. I just ate a huge slice of chocolate cake and a massive swiss chocolate bar because my brain told me I deserved it because of exams. I just hate myself so much. Worst thing is that when I was 17 I lost so much weight and I was so happy.
I gained it all back after a year and it's been five years and I simply have accepted the fact that I will never be able to do it again. I cannot live without sugar. I am completely and utterly addicted to it. I gave up smoking last year and I even found my nicotine addiction easier to battle than my sugar addiction.
Fucking kill me.
[Discussion] DAE feel like they are "too old" for this?
/u/shelifts45
Created: Tue Mar 20 14:01:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85vuhn/dae_feel_like_they_are_too_old_for_this/
---
I'm not trying to discriminate or invalidate a disorder but I feel like I'm too old to be struggling still. I've been dealing with an ED on and off since I was 11 (I'm 21 now). I guess when I was younger I thought I would have out-grown the disorder. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm annoyed with myself and my disordered thoughts.
[Help] EC stacks and Lexapro/Escitalopram? Feeling really jittery but no appetite suppressant effects. Should I not be taking them?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 20 13:58:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85vtdb/ec_stacks_and_lexaproescitalopram_feeling_really/
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[deleted]
[Help] How do you stay in track when you're sick?
/u/KissMySlitWrist
Created: Tue Mar 20 13:47:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85vqci/how_do_you_stay_in_track_when_youre_sick/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] New Motivator
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 108 |18| GW:105 | -37 | 20F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 13:28:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85vkzs/new_motivator/
---
Hey guys just wanted to share this great motivation technique I have for losing weight. It's super easy. Okay first have a really hot friend in your class that you flirt with back and forth pretty consistently. Then see them on tinder. Then swipe right because why not they won't know if they don't swipe. Turns out they do swipe right! Great! It happens while you're drunk! So drunkenly at the party go up and tell them you're glad you matched and to let you know when they wanna hang out. Get ignored all weekend. Walk into class and they don't make eye contact with you. This continues for days.
realize they probably jokingly swiped right. realize you've been rejected and you've messed up a friendship. Realize it probably was because you weren't hot enough.
Starve.
[Tip] new diet coke flavours in the UK!
/u/WorstCunt [crunchy]
Created: Tue Mar 20 13:06:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85velv/new_diet_coke_flavours_in_the_uk/
---
https://i.redd.it/79v4f5rhvym01.jpg
The box says itās 290 cal... how is that possible?
/u/IPreferItNotToBe
Created: Tue Mar 20 13:04:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85vdvn/the_box_says_its_290_cal_how_is_that_possible/
---
https://i.imgur.com/cpfU7Dr.jpg
[Help] Been a while, but WHY AM I BLIND?
/u/BronArianwyn
Created: Tue Mar 20 13:00:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85vcph/been_a_while_but_why_am_i_blind/
---
haven't posted in a while.
good to be back, and see all your lovies again though.
I've been loosing consistantly...but trying to have some more control.
but now i have to get rid of ALL my pants. All of 'em.
My coworker said one day (after she made me a taco and it was a little over filled) "Well thats fine you need some meat on your bones <3" and my heart SOARED and i said "Oh thank you!" before i could stop myself.
and my boyfriend can't stop saying how hot I am.
I'm so hot, I'm a hot girl, he loves me, i'm gorgeous. and I just keep loosing, but loosing very slowly.
and sometimes now, I like what i see. I avoid scales, I go by feel now.
I eat once a day, and walk miles and miles.
but I CANT SEE IT?
all i can see is how thick my thighs are.
my calves are too fat (muscle happens???) my waist will never be thin enough..
when do you see it?!
[Rant/Rave] I've always been out of control around food
/u/beluga_fail [5'4.5" | 112.6 lbs | - 10ish lbs | 15F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 12:51:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85v9sw/ive_always_been_out_of_control_around_food/
---
I don't know how I wasn't extremely overweight when I was younger - probably because I was extremely picky and never really enjoyed most of the food I ate. But, for as long as I can remember, I was called a sweet tooth and always was sneaking around for more sugar and never had any control around food.
I guess this grew into full-on binging after I decided to start restricting and losing weight because the mass of food I was eating grew more and more every month as I fell deeper into an eating disorder. And I started purging - that's when my parents found out about all of this.
Now, my mom stops me from binging. Yesterday was my birthday - she literally took my pizza from me and told me it was enough. It doesn't feel fair anymore - it feels so invasive to have someone watching everything I put in my mouth. It's the perfect motivation to continue restricting and hopefully lose the weight (I am ~7 pounds above my flair right now and too ashamed to update it).
I guess I don't know anymore. I'm extremely suicidal after binging - way more self destructive and horrible. But when I'm restricting, I get a little sense of hope. Maybe - just _maybe_ - I won't hate myself once I lose enough weight. Maybe I'll stop being such a piece of shit to everyone I love. Maybe all my problems will disappear as the fat disappears from my body.
Or maybe I'll just hate my smaller self just as much.
I don't know. I'd rather hate a tiny version of me than the whale I am now.
[Discussion] Whats your favorite meal to skip? Or your favorite time to eat your OMAD?
/u/dortuh
Created: Tue Mar 20 11:59:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85uu0g/whats_your_favorite_meal_to_skip_or_your_favorite/
---
I prefer only eating at night. Gets me to sleep easier and I don't wake up feeling weak. Breakfast is the worst for me cause it makes me hungry all day and if I skip dinner that's when I start getting dizzy.
[Help] Lost my appetite and scared
/u/emoghost [Height 5'5" | CW 125 | GW 115]
Created: Tue Mar 20 11:24:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ujhj/lost_my_appetite_and_scared/
---
Does magnesium reduce your appetite? And does anyone know how long it takes to kick in?
I've only been taking 250 mg Magnesium supplements for two days, I got a lab back that my protein levels are low and I heard Magnesium gets rid of chocolate cravings and for the last two days I've had so much control over my appetite. I don't feel the need to eat breakfast even though ever since I've been trying to get out of the binge/restrict cycle I've always woken up hungry and had something for breakfast.
Today at lunch I started panicking because I didn't feel very hungry and didn't have any urges to eat until I was full. I'm worried that if I don't eat until I reach a certain point of fullness my body will punish me by sending me binge urges.
But this is ridiculous. Because this is probably how a normal person eats lunch.
[Rant/Rave] New season... new me
/u/awkwardsriracha [5'4 | CW | BMI | | F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 11:16:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ugyo/new_season_new_me/
---
Vicious cycle of binging and purging started when I came back to campus for the spring semester. I was struggling big time. Couldn't study or sit still five minutes without thinking about food. Looking back, I really thought I was crazy. I'd stand in front of the vending machine for half an hour, inserting bills, waiting impatiently for candy bar to come out, eat, and repeat the process again for god knows how many times.
But I've finally conquered it. I am so so so so so happy. I chug water, tea, coffee, La Croix, SoBe Water and some Crystal Light throughout the day and my cravings immediately go away.
Hasn't always been a smooth ride but I'm getting to where I need to be, yay!
[Discussion] DAE go through phases of an eating disorder
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Tue Mar 20 11:07:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ueaj/dae_go_through_phases_of_an_eating_disorder/
---
I started out anorexic. I was already underweight and doing juice cleanses and diets. Then it turned to binge eating for a while. After that it became bulimia. And then now I'm getting back into a restriction phase. Is anyone else like this? It makes me feel like a fake.
[Rant/Rave] Iām getting better.
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | CW Healthier :) | LW 105 | HW 180 | 30 F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 10:49:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85u8md/im_getting_better/
---
Hi! Not sure if anyone remembers me, but Iāve been gone for some months. I just posted this in the āFat Rant Tuesdayā thread on r/fatlogic, and I figured Iād share it with you guys if it brings you any hope. :)
āIām approaching the point where Iām ready to add ārecoveringā to my flair. Med changes and ECT during yet another long hospitalization in October-November appear to have made all the difference, and my BMI is getting close to 19 now (still anxiety-inducing... and I utterly lost it even on the day I reached 17!).
As someone previously paralyzed by calorie counting who had to miss a year of school because I couldnāt keep my thoughts off of food enough to study, Iām feeling better than I have in years. I realized this after a simple conversation with my husband last night:
Hubs: āShould I leave the [dinner ingredient packages] on the counter so you have the nutrition facts?ā
Me: typing away at med school-wide writing contest entry āNah... Iām good. Thank you for asking, though.ā
No food scale. No watching to make sure extra ingredients arenāt added. No compulsion to weigh myself. No urges to restrict to make up for it, or to quell the emotional torment of 18 years of severe depression (presently absent, WOW!) No obsessing. Little fear. Just taking an appropriate-looking portion and returning to my my contest entry while eating and not thinking about the food.
Realizing what happened last night hit me pretty hard (in a good way). Iāve wasted years and endangered my health and future medical career. The anorexia makes me feel like a hostage sometimes, where I technically have free will, but both eating and not eating feel like non-options. I became a prisoner of my own mind.
And with one single after-dinner comment, I had a revelation. For the first time in years, *I have higher priorities than losing weight*.
I never thought Iād get so sick, and then I never thought Iād get any better. In both cases, I was wrong. I return to the hospital on April 2nd, for once not as a patient, but as a med student and part of the care team. Iām so grateful. ā¤ļø
Thanks for reading. š
[Rant/Rave] Iām so obsessed w food/recipes/calorie counting I canāt focus on my study...
/u/h1217579
Created: Tue Mar 20 10:41:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85u63n/im_so_obsessed_w_foodrecipescalorie_counting_i/
---
DAE feel the same way?
[Other] ED Observations
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Tue Mar 20 10:32:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85u3l9/ed_observations/
---
So, I'm not sure where I'm going with this post.
But I need to get it off my chest and I know this will be the best place to air these...thoughts, these ideas that have been floating in my brain for the past week, at least.
People tell me I'm skinny. This I know deep down is a lie. That could be the eating disorder, or it could be my now deeply twisted and warped view of what being 'skinny' entails. When I was heavier (on the scale, still hate how I look now), I think I had a better perspective on what is skinny. Now, how I view skinny is...'healthy skinny' VS 'real/proper/ED skinny.' Skinny being those who are in the BMI range of 19 and above, thats like healthy skinny? I think my BMI is at 18 currently. Hopefully, this binge cycle of mine will end soon.
Anyway. Theres girl who I know (an acquaintance, mainly) via other people and she has my goal body. First of all, she is short- noticeably short. Petite. I'm at 5'7 and she is more than a head shorter than me. Her weight, I wouldnt be surpised if her weight was somewhere in the 70 - 80 pound range, or maybe even lower than that. I wish I could look like her, the first time I met her I purged for the first time in a year. Currently fighting the urge to go and purge now, because just thinking of how tiny she is makes me want to die. When I first met her, alarm bells went off in my mind. A person will rarely look like that unless they have a serious medical/physical condition or an eating disorder.
Now this girl she is older than me and surpise surpise, has an eating disorder. Very good at hiding it, too. To the point where her best friend even thinks her disgustingly low weight (yes I am jealous) is due to gastritis. But, one night when she (I'll call her A) was drunk, A admitted to me she is a restrctive bulimic. And goddamn, I was happy and sad at the same time. Coming to the realization that someone who has my 'goal body', also has an eating disorder, its a sort of equalizer but in the same breath, well fuck. Shes struggiling and also I belive deeply in denial.
Lets move onto another person in my life. This girl (I'll call her M) has an ED too, but she is a binge eater. Me and her have a lot of the same behaviors and self-destructive tendencies. She's busy killing herself with food and has said so to me in not so many words.
Obviously, I'm not a doctor or a psychologist, but somehow I...can sense people who are like me.
It fucking breaks my heart man, seeing people in my circle struggiling. I'm pretty open about my ED to people, when I was admitted to a clinic that whole private/secret I had was ripped away from me.
Its happened more than once in casual conversations where others have mentioned very flippantly their experiences with eating disordered behaviors.
It just makes me sad to see so many others who are in the same boat.
Strongs, r/ProED
[Rant/Rave] Why are boyfriends so clueless?
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Tue Mar 20 10:30:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85u31g/why_are_boyfriends_so_clueless/
---
My boyfriend is totally clueless and says dumb things all the time. I hate using the word "triggered", but really, he triggered me today.
He recently joined a gym. Cool, he's happy and I'm happy. BUT now he's all into fitness, healthy eating and stuff and UGH I can't stand it. Lately especially... He said "don't get too skinny", okay cool. But then today we were talking about my body measurements because he knows I'm "dieting" and stuff, so I reluctantely told him, and basically he gave me advice on macros and exercises etc.
I told him I either eat 800 calories or 2000+, and he didn't say anything. Just "that's the way to become skinny fat". Like, dude, I was trying to confess my eating disorder!! Also he said "You're not overweight." to which I replied "but I'm not underweight either" AND HE FUCKING SAID "What matters is if you're working on it". WHAT?? DID YOU JUST SAID I *SHOULD* BE UNDERWEIGHT??
So yeah, basically he told me to eat 1200 calories a day (I won't lol). Then I asked him what my goal weight should be. I know I shouldn't have asked, but I wanted some motivation to starve I guess. He said 47 kg (he used an online calculator I think). Fuck. I was 46 kg this summer before my binge phase, I had lost my period and my bones were visible. People were worried about me. I want to get to that point again.
But anyway, my boyfriend is usually a great partner. I'm just overreacting, which is something I do a lot lol.
[Rant/Rave] Tastes, Smells, Feels Like Failure
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Tue Mar 20 10:18:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85tz84/tastes_smells_feels_like_failure/
---
~~this is my shitty poetry just a warning~~
* Restricting tastes like spearmint gum, disintegrating into flecksā rubbery and chewy, but reaching for another.
* It tastes like zero calories: soda, energy drinks, sweeteners, aspartame....
* It tastes like mustard on pickles and plain tofu.
* It tastes like a stale rice cake covered in absolutely nothing; crunchy, plastic, earthy, and dry.
* It tastes like bad breath, acidic remnants wedged in wisdom teeth.
* It tastes like chalk and berries in one shot, two shots, 10 hours later.
* It tastes like a crash and burn. Burned calories, burned tongue, burned out.
* Restricting smells like nail polish, stinging and coldā glossy topcoat still wet, donāt smear it.
* It smells like epsom salt, ālavenderā and ācoconutā and ārelaxing.ā
* It smells like floral perfumes and candles, headaches to follow.
* It smells like grease and thick fryer air. Like āno thank you, I ate before I came.ā
* It smells like chocolate, three feet away but also 3000 lightyears beyond reach.
* It smells like clothing stores; hours spent choosing, putting away, picking up again, cold sweat, angry hot thoughts. This way and that, swishing around and cinching here. Not enough, never enough. It smells like shame, replacing the plastic hangers where they rightfully belong.
* Restricting feels like an endless war. A push and pull, a promise and lie rolled in one.
* It feels like a trick, a trap, a temptation.
* It feels like a black holeā a simple numbers game turned sinister.
* It feels like pixels of light and lace and pastel pinks.
* It feels pale and meaningless and endless.
* It feels like a dry mouth that will never be quenched; like a choice that will never be reversed. Like a life that has to be lived until expiration. Like a prison and a sanctuary. Like death and life.
Restriction is failure to live. I am a failure.
[Discussion] i am 32, iām not fixed but it does get better
/u/lead-by-example [6ā0 191 gw178 | m32]
Created: Tue Mar 20 10:09:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85twk5/i_am_32_im_not_fixed_but_it_does_get_better/
---
14 years ago a binge was a cheesesteak for lunch, a pizza for dinner, and a whole bag of tostitos for snack. Every day.
3 years ago a binge was a pint of b&j, 1-2x a week.
Now a binge is a pint of halo top, maybe the rest of the lunch meats or too much cereal. every couple weeks.
day to day progress is hard to see. but it is not as bad as it used to be, as i build a better life one brick at a time.
[Goal] How much more should I lose ?? Not sure my exact CW (around 145lbs ??) UGW; 129.5lbs. What do you guys think would fit my frame best ??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 20 10:06:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85tve1/how_much_more_should_i_lose_not_sure_my_exact_cw/
---
https://i.redd.it/jvyf4pkezxm01.jpg
[Help] [help] lost 10 lbs in one week?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 20 09:56:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85tsfv/help_lost_10_lbs_in_one_week/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85tsfv/help_lost_10_lbs_in_one_week/
[Goal] Losing weight
/u/EvenRainbowsScream
Created: Tue Mar 20 09:46:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85tplx/losing_weight/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Binging again the second Iļø finish purging
/u/IPreferItNotToBe
Created: Tue Mar 20 09:29:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85tkw9/binging_again_the_second_i_finish_purging/
---
After a binge Iāll purge but then as soon as Iām done purging Iļø want to eat again, like IMMEDIATELY after, so Iļø do. But Iām so desperately hungry that I eat without drinking water with Iļøt but Iļø donāt consider Iļøt a binge really so Iļø donāt purge the second time, or else Iļø know Iļøt would just go on and on. This is why on my b/p days Iļø gain weight. If Iļø were able to b/p and leave Iļøt at hat Iām sure Iād be losing weight, or at least staying the same since Iļø restrict HARD on some days Anybody else do this?
[Help] Distraction techniques?
/u/snaafuuu [5'3| 187 | 34.41 | -17.7 | 22F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 09:22:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85tizh/distraction_techniques/
---
I have an incredibly infuriating coworker that talks as loud as possible and really runs me up the fucking wall. If I need to get away, I usually go to the kitchen and mill around, which obviously leads to me being weak and eating whatever food is there. Do any of you have any good distraction techniques to stave off food or annoying coworkers?
[Help] Low blood sugar and EC stacks. Advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 20 09:16:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85thct/low_blood_sugar_and_ec_stacks_advice/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I think I've found the answer to not gaining while on holiday in France
/u/daintydaisydoll [5'1.5 / CW:96 / BMI: 18.56 / GW: 85]
Created: Tue Mar 20 09:13:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85tgor/i_think_ive_found_the_answer_to_not_gaining_while/
---
I'm vegan and going on holiday to France in a month. I'm the only vegan in the group so naturally we're not likely to go anywhere explicitly vegan. Im simultaneously scared and relieved as France isn't very vegan friendly and I don't speak French. The upside is I likely won't be able to eat much so I'll still be losing but I'm a bit sad I likely won't be able to cut loose and indulge like everyone else.
A big plus though is that I'm finally seeing some results. My collarbones and shoulder bones are really starting to come through so I should look really good on holiday if I keep it up.
[Rant/Rave] Oh my ass shitting god I'm in love.
/u/PmMeUrKhajiit
Created: Tue Mar 20 08:32:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85t5c3/oh_my_ass_shitting_god_im_in_love/
---
I have done it. The ultimate subterfuge. I have found some amazing safe foods to keep around. My life atm is a combination of these crispette things (27 each), yoghurt icecream pop things (44 each) and iced coffees- just coffee from the moka in a bigass cup of ice topped off with unsweetened almond milk (maybe 5-10?). Before that i was living on diet coke and cucumbers because cucumbers are literally the only overlap between safe foods and foods the boys like eating. (Apart from eating a 16cal bowl of lettuce 8 times a day but it started getting old).
These guys are saving my life. I can eat like six meals a day without anyone noticing I'm eating less than 300 calories, and obviously with safe foods around I'm so much less likely to binge!!
I'm so relieved, the amount if binges has gone down 5000% AND I found scales in the garage so I'll be able to measure my results instead of eyeballing my weight loss. The Ana gods are smiling upon me today š (I mean, if any gods were smiling on me I wouldn't be here, but small victories..)
A standard day with these lil saviours looks like this:
ā¢ 1 iced coffee for breakfast (10)
ā¢ 1 crispy 1 diet coke for morning tea (27)
ā¢ 2 crispies for lunch (54)
ā¢ 1 lil pop for afternoon tea (44)
ā¢ a handful of olives, 1/2 a cucumber, 2 crispies for dinner (100ish)
ā¢ 1 lil pop for dessert (44)
[Help] Help!! To confess or not
/u/strangerousdangers [5'3 |115|GW 105 |-20lbs]
Created: Tue Mar 20 08:05:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85sy9k/help_to_confess_or_not/
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Hey yāall!! I need help. I am super conflicted over whether I should tell my boyfriend about my ED. We have been dating for two years and he is overall a great dude and I feel guilty that Iām hiding this from him but at the same time I donāt want to fess up because:
-Iām not skinny so I think heās just gonna nod and smile but inside be like āsuuureā
-Iām not ready to stop fasting/purging and if he knows about it he is probably going to stop me. We binge together though which is a terrific bonding opportunity right š
I donāt know what to do!! I keep flip flopping back and forth every day about what to do!! š help
[Help] [Help] Seeking Past "Thin & Fit" Postā¦
/u/LMichaelM [KetoFaster! ā60 | 5'8" 11%BF cw139# gw124#]
Created: Tue Mar 20 07:44:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ssz0/help_seeking_past_thin_fit_post/
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Someone posted I believe here in r/proED (recently?), speaking of his/her work involving interaction with **talent whose job is "to be thin and fitā¦"** I would dearly like to view this post again, but after scouring Reddit high and low with a variety of search-terms I am drawing a blank. Possibly, of course, the post has been deletedā¦ But if this rings a bell with you (perhaps *you* were the poster!) kindly hit me up with a link, even via DM ā I'd be deeply grateful.
[Rant/Rave] wedding is coming soon
/u/oglehoof
Created: Tue Mar 20 07:09:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85skm3/wedding_is_coming_soon/
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AND I CANT STOP BINGING!! Iām in this horrible pattern where I count/measure everything during the week, exercise 1-2 x per day, the scale drops, and everything is great.
But the weekends are horrible - Iām off my schedule, my fiancĆ© always wants to order pizza or go out to eat or day-drink and my stupid brain convinces me itās āok for today, youāve done so well this week, normal people can do this so youāll be okā yesterday I ate ALL day long, like 2700 kcal including 6 pop-tarts!!
and now the scale is so high again - Iām puffy and swollen from too many carbs, super anxious about my weight. My wedding is in a couple of months and Iām so anxious about everyone staring at me, taking pictures etc. I canāt talk about this with anyone else since āyouāre so thin alreadyā which I am objectively not. Just needed to rant for a minute and focus on a delicious breakfast of black coffee š
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday March 20, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 20 06:10:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85s6u2/thinspo_tuesday_march_20_2018/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 20, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 20 06:10:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85s6sd/daily_food_diary_march_20_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for March 20, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] Reasons to have a dog ED version
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 05:54:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85s3k4/reasons_to_have_a_dog_ed_version/
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https://i.redd.it/9jj8pc3hqwm01.png
[Discussion] March 20th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 05:33:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85rzks/march_20th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What was the last book you read?
A collection of short stories by Jeffery Deaver and now Aesopās Fables, which apparently nobody has heard of ???
[Help] Ok riddle me this if you will
/u/TeslaStalker
Created: Tue Mar 20 05:04:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85rucx/ok_riddle_me_this_if_you_will/
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So, the psyllium husk/lax kicked in last night through to this morning (sorry tmi).
I was sure I would have lost weight my stomach went from puffed out to flat.
I weighed and literally same weight as yesterday morning when I was constipated as hell.
However I retook my measurements that I had taken yesterday and ālostā a total of 5ā in waist/belly button/midsection area.
Yay but how no weigh Loss ?
Good morning all!
[Help] It was always about control. (The point of difficult return - by Vitreous Bones Insta)
/u/MsFaceless [5'8" | CW 127 | BMI 20 | GW 100 | 28F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 04:44:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85rqq9/it_was_always_about_control_the_point_of/
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*This is personal for me and may not reflect everyone's experience*
It was always about control. About looking perfect. And perfect meant skinny. At first, it takes an immense amount of conscious effort to restrict, to not binge. Sometimes you eat normally for days. Your goal is go lose weight. Maybe you're overweight and you think that being skinny will open the golden gates of happiness and self-acceptance instead of self-loathing and misery. You imagine yourself at your goal weight. Smiling, wearing a bikini on a beach surrounded by attractive people. Guys staring at you. But you don't know what the future holds because you're not there yet. You can't see the misery, the self-hatred that ironically gets worse the more weight you lose. There is a line. A line separating conscious, self-starvation in the midst of poor self-control, and self-starvation controlled entirely by an eating disorder. You no longer have to will yourself not to eat. Now, you don't have a choice. You're no longer in control. You have been taken over, and you hate it. Your brain is malnourished and you no longer live in reality. You seem to get fatter with every pound lost. This may even seem ideal when you haven't yet crossed the line. To not have to think about it and have it come naturally is the ultimate form of self-control. But oh how far from the truth that is. The further it swallows you the more hopeless you feel. Think about it. You see people at their goal weights who starved or purged to get there. Are they happy? No. Never. Sure they may be excited about the number. But it will never be enough. They do not suddenly become satisfied. I would suffer forever if it meant others could realize that anorexia and emaciation are not the key to happiness. Please. It's never too late to get help. It gets so much harder once you cross the line. I promise.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BgWf3mTn9zvM4E5ojelxB8giT-tteXhB4VZLOY0/?taken-by=vitreous.bones
[Intro] Relapsing because my boyfriend asked for help with his ED...
/u/DustyKangaroo [5'2 | CW:137 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 20 04:35:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85rp6n/relapsing_because_my_boyfriend_asked_for_help/
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Hey all. New here. My boyfriend asked for my help in recovering from his ED, and I'm more than happy to do so (it was hard watching him struggle with it and not reach out). But I've noticed it taking its toll on me, and I feel like I should be more worried, but i'm not; and I don't feel like I can tell him, because of his struggles right now. He'd feel guilty, and he has enough to deal with. I'm just here for like-minded company and support.
How do I deal with being alone? Seriously.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 20 01:22:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85qun5/how_do_i_deal_with_being_alone_seriously/
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[deleted]
[Help] best things to eat at a restaurant? (particularly red Robin's?)
/u/little_milkee
Created: Tue Mar 20 00:29:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85qmf8/best_things_to_eat_at_a_restaurant_particularly/
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I don't want to just order tea or water nor do I want to get something super small - I'll be fasting the entire day so I can eat dinner properly since it's for an important event. any opinions on the best things to get or how to eat so that Iām not gonna be going massively over my calorie limit (1200) but still enjoy myself?
[Discussion] Does anyone not actually hate themselves, but still restrict, binge/purge, just lose more weight, etc.?
/u/annan4 [5'4.5" | SW 175| CW 138| GW 104| 19F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 22:43:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85q4cq/does_anyone_not_actually_hate_themselves_but/
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I hope this isn't too confusing, but I think my ed behaviors started from depression and self-hatred for sure, but I went to a few counseling sessions that actually gave me a lot or what feels like a lot of mental clarity, and I don't feel nearly as depressed. I also don't feel like I hate myself like I used to, but the ed behaviors still remain. I still want to lose weight and think I should, but it seems like I still can't do it the healthy way or more like I'd prefer to restrict heavily, binge/purge, etc. to lose more. Am I just in denial about my real feelings? I know a few counseling sessions isn't a ton, but I feel hugely different than I did before, but it's like I still don't want to recover from my ed.
[Other] This showed up under the "questions" section on FB. I LOL'ed.
/u/silverspork_
Created: Mon Mar 19 22:31:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85q20c/this_showed_up_under_the_questions_section_on_fb/
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https://i.redd.it/2q3n2m69jum01.png
[Help] 24 hour fast?? How???
/u/steamedbun_27 [165cm | too much / GW: 53kg | idk | -27kg | F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 22:31:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85q1z6/24_hour_fast_how/
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[removed]
[Other] The best part about being sad is that I have no will to eat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 19 22:08:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85pxnb/the_best_part_about_being_sad_is_that_i_have_no/
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[deleted]
UGH IM TRYING TO FAST BUT MY MOM IS MAKING ME EAT
/u/Ellerussellhere
Created: Mon Mar 19 21:39:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85prq4/ugh_im_trying_to_fast_but_my_mom_is_making_me_eat/
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[removed]
[Help] How do you handle your anxiety when your friends surprise and drag you to a restaurant?
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Mon Mar 19 21:20:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85pnsp/how_do_you_handle_your_anxiety_when_your_friends/
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I live in a sorority and if you have/do then you know how easy it is for your friends to scoop you up and drag you places for fun.
Every week my friends and I go to BWW on Thursday and itās fine and I plan around it but today weāre unexpectedly going and they can clearly see Iām not doing anything else bc we live in the same room. I absolutely canāt get out of it, not an option. Canāt fake being sick, tired, etc yanno.
How would you handle the anxiety this causes???
Iām under my TDEE but Iām a little over the amount of calories I want to be at because I was getting Ansy and ate a Quest bar which in no way deserves the 190 calories.
Any advice as to how the dick I should handle this? Iām drinking water, planning on what I will eat if I do and all but Iām panicking.
Ps hello again Iām back for the 19th time :/
Edit bww is Buffalo Wild Wings
[Discussion] What feels worse?
/u/blerg1234567
Created: Mon Mar 19 21:09:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85plop/what_feels_worse/
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Sitting with three bigass slices of pizza in your stomach, or purge guilt?
Ugh.
[Help] What NOT to say to your therapist
/u/variousnecessities7
Created: Mon Mar 19 20:39:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85pewr/what_not_to_say_to_your_therapist/
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Y'all. I've been *trying* to reach my goal weight before getting a therapist, but all my mental fuckery is now significantly impacting my work performance. I can't lose my dream job.
So I'm getting a therapist.
This terrifies me because I NEED to keep losing weight. I've gained five pounds since getting sick several weeks ago, so I'm even further from my goal than I was.
I need to get help with my work-related anxiety, but it's impossible not to bring up food issues because everything is interrelated, and besides, I've already mentioned to this person that I'm specifically seeking someone with experience treating people with disordered eating patterns.
So - there's no hiding it completely. But are there things I should avoid saying? Things that could get particularly bad reactions from a therapist? Anything that could stall my weight loss?
Should I avoid mentioning/ lie when I've fasted a lot that week? Should I avoid mentioning trying to purge (lol I've never been successful....which I guess is good.)
I don't even know what to ask. I guess I'm seeking YOUR experience with therapists, and how they work with you. I'm scared, but I can't back out now, for the sake of my job and livelihood.
Thanks <3
[Discussion] Body image ruining dating
/u/hidemypassport
Created: Mon Mar 19 20:00:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85p5zn/body_image_ruining_dating/
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So iām 16, most of my friends are dating by now. Iāve been an overweight/obese kid my ENTIRE life (still am, though on the much slimmer end). Growing up fat youāre conditioned to think nobody will ever love your or find you attractive, and itās ruining my confidence around boys even though iāve lost 50 pounds. Some friends tell me iām ānot fat anymoreā after losing it, but all i can see in the mirror is a disgusting lump of lard. I end up friendzoning myself around every guy iām interested in since i canāt fathom anybody finding me attractive in any sense. I know this isnāt directly related to EDs, but i know some of you must have a similar problem too. what do i do.
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself
/u/wednesdayschild_ [5'3" | CW: No idea | BMI: Too scared to know | WL: Not enough]
Created: Mon Mar 19 18:45:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85onzt/i_hate_myself/
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So a couple of days ago, I posted about my roommate cooking chicken alfredo and seeking advice on how to get out of it. We've both been sick this week so it didn't end up happening (which aslo meant no exercise for me but that's a whole other post), so one of our mutual friends bought us some groceries.
GUYS.
Our friend's cooking a pasta/beef/cheese dish right now in our kitchen. She bought us a 12 pack of Cokes and some chocolate chip cookie dough. I'm ashamed that when I first saw it all, my initial reaction was fear. Why the fuck am I afraid of food that was a nice gesture? I don't even know how this happened. I suck. I hate myself.
[Help] I have the rare opportunity to get all new kitchenware!!!
/u/ayvyns [5'7ā | 130| 20.2 | -9 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 18:27:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ojhe/i_have_the_rare_opportunity_to_get_all_new/
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I'm so excited you guys. Are there any particular websites that have cute kitchen stuff? I'm on the hunt for the perfect utensils, drinking glass, oversized mug for tea, square plate, oversized cup to use as a bowl, and actual bowl. I actually enjoy having medium-largeish plates and bowls because it feels so substantial in my hands. Other than items include: hot water kettle, soup kettle, deep pan, santoku knife, and cutting board.
[Rant/Rave] Lying to my therapist
/u/Elizawitch [5'3" | Female | CW: 100lbs | GW: 90lbs | UGW: 85lbs]
Created: Mon Mar 19 18:12:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ofuu/lying_to_my_therapist/
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Ok, more like ākeeping secrets.ā My thoughts are worse since starting Prozac but I donāt want to tell her because I donāt want her to fix it. Iāve started cutting again and itās helped so much. I canāt tell her that Iām done seeing her because sheāll definitely tell my mom. I donāt know.
[Help] Hey either starving or drinking has caused my brain to go splat. Can I change my flair on mobile? What if I access through chrome and not the app?
/u/User820125 [65ā CW: Fuck GW: over and done.]
Created: Mon Mar 19 17:48:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85o9nc/hey_either_starving_or_drinking_has_caused_my/
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Yup am brain dead now.
[Rant/Rave] Anyone know about chest deformities?
/u/tarim_
Created: Mon Mar 19 17:38:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85o79r/anyone_know_about_chest_deformities/
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So I am nowhere near my GW, but I noticed that my rib cage is huge, like I am probably 30lbs over my goal BMI of 17, but I can clearly see my ribs, especially if I suck my gut in. It already looks bad, but I shudder at the thought of my ribs if I drop even more weight. Anyone know of a way to compress the ribs so I can make my gross chest smaller? Any advice would be appreciated.
[Rant/Rave] I hate and love spring break
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:114lbs | GW: 112lbs | -25 lbs | F20]
Created: Mon Mar 19 17:33:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85o5xz/i_hate_and_love_spring_break/
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I just got back to school from spring break. I went to southern California with my bf and close friends and overall it was a great time. ate actual meals for once and drank way more than I would've liked.
I gained 6 pounds.
I am freaking out and i know realistically i shouldn't be. I am 118 pounds today and I feel absolutely huge. When I told my boyfriend about the gain he said it was a good thing with a smile on his face. I know he is probably right but I was doing so well before break.... I was 112!!!
The good thing is now that i'm back I can fall back into my routine of basically only eating rice cakes, fruit and air popped popcorn sparingly. Gym here I fucking come lol. Please help me try to not cry every time I pass a damn MIRROR
Also, have any of you heard of Chomperz seaweed chips??? They are incredible and only 40 cals per serving, I discovered them at my local health food store.
Hopefully I don't stay fucking chubby for long
[Help] My name is Steve Hofstetter, and I am a stand-up comedian with an eating disorder. This an animated story is the first time I've been really public about it. I hope this helps show other guys they are not alone.
/u/thehofstetter
Created: Mon Mar 19 17:22:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85o34w/my_name_is_steve_hofstetter_and_i_am_a_standup/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsKOZ2aGfKY
[Rant/Rave] The only thing Iām good at is losing weight and Iām not even that good at it
/u/attackedbydinosaurs
Created: Mon Mar 19 16:54:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85nw1u/the_only_thing_im_good_at_is_losing_weight_and_im/
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[removed]
[Goal] 50 HOUR FAST!!! (And still going strong!!)
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 108.6 | 20.1 | -12 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 16:53:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85nvuu/50_hour_fast_and_still_going_strong/
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Wow. I've never done this before, not this easily. I slept through a lot of it, to be honest. But I've not had any nausea or faintness or weakness, no appetite, barely any hunger pangs at all!! I just feel light, empty, and FREE!!! The stars just aligned for me this week! I'm 106.4 pounds right now but I'm not going to update my flair, just in case it's only a temporary loss. I think I'm just going to keep not eating until I start to feel bad, tbh! I need to take advantage of this absolute miracle!!
I'd like to thank my sponsors: Tazo blondie dessert tea, Stevia, Almond milk, and NyQuil Liqui-capsules!! And of course, I have to thank all the little calories I stepped on to get here!!
[Rant/Rave] Shout out to how I will finish a heaping plate of food, not because Iām hungry, but because itās in front of me!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118.6 ]
Created: Mon Mar 19 16:36:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85nqx8/shout_out_to_how_i_will_finish_a_heaping_plate_of/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] How to lose your appetite in one easy step!
/u/chloelouiise [5'6 | 136 | 21.95 | -86 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 16:32:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85nptw/how_to_lose_your_appetite_in_one_easy_step/
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All you have to do is just unrepress the emotions you had bottled up about your sexual assault by a man who you have to work with everyday.
Works like a charm and I have a 1650kcal deficit! šš¼āāļøšš¼āāļø
God these last 3 years have been shitty.
[Other] I'm about to (not) graduate high school and I weigh as much as I did in elementary school
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80lbs | 15.1 | -23lbs | f]
Created: Mon Mar 19 16:26:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85no7g/im_about_to_not_graduate_high_school_and_i_weigh/
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When I was eleven years old, I went in to the doctor for a tetanus shot.
They weighed me, and at the time, i paid no mind to it. Numbers like that didn't mean a thing to me then.
I only recently saw it on my growth chart when I went in for my monthly blood draw.
I weighed 79lbs.
Today, I weigh 79lbs.
I ought to be a grown ass adult woman, but you wouldn't know it by looking at me or speaking to me. I've spent so much time dancing with my demons i've neglected to look beyond them except in painful moments of lucidity in which I face the things my habits formed to protect me from.
I feel frozen in time... like im still just a snapshot of a scared kid showing off a bandaid-battle scar.
[Help] Vitamins when on ED ?
/u/blingbling-bitch
Created: Mon Mar 19 16:12:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85nk65/vitamins_when_on_ed/
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Ok so I am back at restricting after a month long of self hate and binging (I gained 15 pounds FUCK my LIFE) anyways, I really donāt want my skin to break out like it usually does when I donāt eat enough. What kind of vitamins or supplements should I be looking into?
[Discussion] Does anybody else get kind of annoyed by those "recovery warrior" accounts on Instagram?
/u/PM_M3_UR_SECRETS [163cm | CW 55kg | GW 50kg | HW 80kg]
Created: Mon Mar 19 16:10:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85njrx/does_anybody_else_get_kind_of_annoyed_by_those/
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Don't get me wrong, I think it's amazing that people work hard to fix their relationship with food and I obviously respect anybody who tries to recover whichever way works for them but...
The way they keep referring to "Ana" as a person and talk about "crushing her calcium-depleted bones" (direct quote from a particularly poetic account), the way they obsessively photograph and post every single thing they eat and the way they talk to each other and comment on each other's pictures in such a sickly-sweet way that doesn't seem genuine at all just reminds me of a pseudo-healthy version of 2006 Ana butterfly bullshit.
I guess maybe I'm just bitter they can eat all that food and be praised for it lol.
[Rant/Rave] Tfw people at the office ask if you partied too hard on St Patrickās day and you say yes, but really you just ate waaay too much and have a food hangover š
/u/lemonlime836
Created: Mon Mar 19 16:07:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85nius/tfw_people_at_the_office_ask_if_you_partied_too/
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My life right now. I only had a few beers yesterday, but I have a vision of myself two hands deep into nachos, LITERALLY stuffing my face with them both, cheese hanging out of my mouth...oh god. I was up by almost 5 lbs this morning. Kill me now.
[Other] Today's Conflict: Am I binging or is this self care
/u/bunnywithbpd [5"1 | 111 lb | -18 lb | F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 16:06:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85nimv/todays_conflict_am_i_binging_or_is_this_self_care/
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Basically died this 2 weeks through hard restriction/fasting. Woke up feeling like CRAP and went to eat (dunno how many calories) some bread, 2 eggs and a poptart and a cookie. I can't tell if this is "taking care of myself" or "another form of self destruction" Oh well life goes on...back to restriction and dying.
[Rant/Rave] lol i just binged i love myself
/u/interstellartortise
Created: Mon Mar 19 16:04:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85nhzq/lol_i_just_binged_i_love_myself/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anybody else?
/u/runawaythrowaway47
Created: Mon Mar 19 15:52:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ness/anybody_else/
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Anybody else see their family member, friend, etc eat something or order something that obviously has more cals than what you ate and compare them to you? Then like say "I ate less cals than them" in your head? It sounds so fucked up lmaoo
[Rant/Rave] I hate when people tell me they saw someone who looks just like me...
/u/emanresuruoyesoohc
Created: Mon Mar 19 15:31:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85n90e/i_hate_when_people_tell_me_they_saw_someone_who/
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the person is always very heavy and unkempt, definitely weighs atleast 50 lb more than me. I am sure that person is really nice and I have nothing against them personally, but I feel disgusted with myself when EVERYTIME classmates say they thought they saw me on the street, the person they point out is so large. The person could have a completely different face than me so it's not that they thought we had similar features. This boils down to them looking at their body and immediately associating me with that shape. I've been eating no more than 800 calories a day for a week now, with a BMR of 2,066. I've lost 8 lb in a week and can't wait to drop 40 more ultimately. One of my NSV is to have people NEVER compare me to a large person by virtue of size.
[Discussion] Can we talk ED Warriors?
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Mon Mar 19 15:25:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85n7dm/can_we_talk_ed_warriors/
---
Ive recently been following a few ED warriors that inspire me. I just want to know if yu guys have any favourites? I have been following Jenn Pretty who has an instagram and a youtube channel and she is honesty so inspiring.
I can really resonate with a lot of things that she talks about [i.e. overexercising, anorexia, high restriction, etc].
Does anyone else follow these?
[Other] My boyfriend broke up with me
/u/lollemons [5'6 | CW 111 | 17.99 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 15:23:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85n6u6/my_boyfriend_broke_up_with_me/
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The person i thought i would marry broke up with me today. Iām so distraught i want to eat everything and cry but i also just want to starve myself until i whither away and die a pile of bones. Iām leaning towards the second option
[Intro] Can we do an introductions thread?
/u/PinkyOutYo
Created: Mon Mar 19 15:16:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85n55k/can_we_do_an_introductions_thread/
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Hi, my name's PinkyOutYo, and I am a bulimic of 11 years.
I would love to contribute to this community but I feel a bit weird just commenting on random people's things, and definitely feel weird posting another self post, like it might not be welcome.
Old or new members, shall we get to know each other?
(Ninja edit: spelling)
[Rant/Rave] I ate over 1000 calories in less than two hours
/u/gawainspussy
Created: Mon Mar 19 14:56:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85mzla/i_ate_over_1000_calories_in_less_than_two_hours/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Someone just told me how light i am
/u/kiwiismytruelove
Created: Mon Mar 19 14:54:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85myxy/someone_just_told_me_how_light_i_am/
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And part of me is like "bitch why TF you lying" and the other part is just like "bitch marry me tf"
Honestly I'm so happy but now it makes me want to starve more?
Also I'm n o t that light why do people keep saying that
[Rant/Rave] Hauling myself back on that wagon
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 14:26:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85mqpb/hauling_myself_back_on_that_wagon/
---
I've been free falling since I hit my second goal weight of 77kg. I'm still weighing myself religiously after every BM and have implemented a 'no eating before my first BM' rule...but I've stopped counting. And while my weight has gone down to 76.9kg (thank you ED gods) it jumped right back up again.
My work situation has been shitty as of late and I've been trying to feel happier about it with sugar and carbs. I was also sick with what I think was a plague so that sucked. BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
Today I'm telling of my supervisor off (with permission from my manager) for being shit and I'm taking control of my work day. I'm going back to eating 1300 calories and hitting the gym. I can't keep letting my feelings rule my life šŖš¾ššš¾
[Rant/Rave] I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
/u/artbookstea [5'6 |CW 98.0 | BMI 15.8 | GW 96 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 14:22:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85mpca/i_dont_know_what_im_doing_anymore/
---
Every day is just another internal argument with myself over whether I should try to be a normal person with normal habits or keep trying to lose weight.
I'm too young to be this tired, and I'm dying a little more every day. There's so much more to my life and my potential than food and a goddamn number on the scale. I can't let go though, I can convince myself for a day to try something different but it's all pointless. Gain or lose I'll never be satisfied.
I have a very big dream that I'm getting closer and closer to achieving, I'm doing the best I ever have in school, and I have so much going for me. But what am I doing? I'm stuck playing a losing game of limbo with the scale, I think we all are, and I don't think it will ever be enough.
I'm sorry guys, this is a bit nonsensical and kind of a downer to read. I hope you all have a good week.
[Help] starving after breakup
/u/lonelyinquiet
Created: Mon Mar 19 14:17:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85mnwj/starving_after_breakup/
---
New to this community, returning to disordered eating. I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
Trying very hard to keep this post within rules, but morbidly curious regardless of consequences
Broke up on Tuesday, largest meal I've had since was a taco from taco bell. Mostly fasting the whole time, only taking breaks to eat half an edible cookie because I don't want to feel. I want to rot.
I don't have a scale because I live in a dorm and I don't know where to find one that wouldn't raise suspicions. I've got a very mentally ill friend group and they're watching me like hawks. One of them is going through relapse with her ED.
My question is: How have you noticed your body has changed when you don't eat at all vs when you restrictively eat? I've been browsing this subreddit for the past week and I'm shocked by the fact that ya'll do actually eat. Maybe I'm experiencing body dysmorphia, but I feel like I look entirely the same, and I'm disgusted with it.
[Other] I was so pretty when I was skinny(anyone else want someone to talk to about their ed?)
/u/canwestartover
Created: Mon Mar 19 13:11:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85m4l1/i_was_so_pretty_when_i_was_skinnyanyone_else_want/
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I was looking at old pictures from like 4 years ago when I was at my lowest weight and I looked so much better. I canāt stop binging and Iāve never looked worse- face wise too.
Can someone please hmu, Iām so alone in this rn and I need someone who I have a mutual understanding with on this and who I can help and can help me with accountability and stuff
[Intro] Back again
/u/throwaweigh_acct [5'3.5" | CW 121lbs | BMI 21.6 | - 5lbs | F | relapsing tbh]
Created: Mon Mar 19 12:43:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85lw5f/back_again/
---
My roadtrip to recovery hit a major pothole back in January. I applied to a prestigious summer camp and made it to the state level before being rejected. I had one more interview left. My application was the only thing I worked on over winter break and acception was my sole goal for 2018. In the same week, I broke up with my boyfriend for unrelated reasons. We weren't "clicking" and he was unsupportive of my dedication to education. It was my decision, and it isolated me from his friends, who were also the only friend group I had. They were mad, said I broke his heart, and called me ugly and fat.
It felt like my life was spiraling out of control, which shows how little of a hold I had on my mental state to begin with. Of course, I took control over everything I could to compensate. This included counting calories again. I told myself it was innocent, healthy, and that I would never go through disordered eating again. I started browsing various dieting subreddits and switched to keto. I told myself it was the perfect diet for recovery, and it was, for a while. Then I got into intermittent fasting and began a 16:8 regimen. I started lowering my calorie intake and found this subreddit again. At first, I used it to keep myself in check and remind myself of all the "crazy ED thoughts" and "haha, I can't believe I used to be like that".
Well, two weeks ago I decided that I wanted to lose weight. Badly. I figured I had nothing more to lose; I was friendless, lonely, and a little fat again. Each day I set my deficit lower and lower. Now, I'm not eating at all. No hunger, just boredom and a little fatigue. I'm calling it a fast until spring break, but I'm not going to break it until I'm underweight or my performance in school really suffers.
Writing all of this out is helping me come to terms with the relapse of my ED mindset, so maybe I'm not falling apart as much as I think.
[Discussion] Anyone else here with trichotillomania?
/u/marsmallowsenpai
Created: Mon Mar 19 12:42:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85lvxn/anyone_else_here_with_trichotillomania/
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(Can't tag on mobile sorry, this is a discussion)
Anyone else with trich find that you "replace" binging with pulling? I realized that I've been in one of those 4 hour trances during my fasting day and I'm so angry with myself. Like, I have an ED because I'm disgusted with myself and I want to change that, but then I just ending up replacing one thing I hate (being fat) with another (being bald). Please tell me I'm not alone lmao I want to cease to exist right now
[Help] Help!
/u/slythery_snek
Created: Mon Mar 19 12:31:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85lsic/help/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Jeans that shrink after washing them.
/u/renewtheplaintiff [5'3 | cw: 100 | gw: 90 | F24]
Created: Mon Mar 19 12:24:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85lqmm/jeans_that_shrink_after_washing_them/
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FUCK YOU.
That is all.
(I almost cried squeezing into my freshly-washed skinny jeans today. I basically have to not breathe for a few hours till they loosen up again; hence, in constant trigger mode. Note to self: never washing jeans again.)
[Rant/Rave] Common Food Areas at Work/ I Love My Coworkers
/u/fatyoyo [32F | 5ā2ā | CW 166 lbs | GW 105 lbs |]
Created: Mon Mar 19 12:23:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85lqay/common_food_areas_at_work_i_love_my_coworkers/
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I am so lucky. I work in a small department (7 people total) in a government office building. We have a kitchen with a full fridge/ freezer, a toaster oven, a microwave, a crockpot and a Keurig. BUT, we also have a staff full of really food conscious people, so it makes things so much easier. One woman had bariatric surgery so only eats tiny portions, another woman is a strict vegan, one guy eats only whole foods, another guy is juicing. Our fridge/ freezer is full of vegetables, salads, lean deli meat, light string cheese, laughing cow, protein shakes, juices, ādietā freezer meals, veggie burgers, etc. There is no leftover pizza, no chips, no sweets. No one judges what other people eat and everyone does their own thing. People share. Like an email went out to everyone: āI got all these cans of light soup for $0.50 each over the weekend so theyāre in the pantry, feel free to help yourself.ā I live alone and never finish a whole package of bagel thins or light english muffins before they go bad so I bring them to the work kitchen to share. We decided weād rather have a community kitchen (except for packed lunches and labeled food) than one of us have to go down to the cafeteria because we forgot to pack a lunch. We had a potluck with a few other departments a couple weeks ago and choices included steamed broccoli, steamed asparagus, fresh fruit and veggie trays, ground turkey tacos in lettuce wraps, vegan bean burrito bowls... and this wasnāt weird to anyone! I just thought Iād add a little positivity today and give my awesome coworkers some love because I am usually SO anxious about shared food areas, being exposed to trigger foods and being judged on what Iām eating and I happened to end up in the perfect work environment for me. I know how hard it can be when it goes the other way!
[Discussion] Post purge drink
/u/PainlessMe [17F | 1.75 | CW: 61.1 | GW: 50 | SW: 70.1]
Created: Mon Mar 19 12:20:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85lpeg/post_purge_drink/
---
Hi, I was just wondering.
Do you have a post purge comfort drink/food to make you feel less shit? If yes, what is it?
[Other] PEACH thread š (19/03/18)
/u/Burlesqua [š· 5'4'' | CW:108 (fluctuates) | BMI:18 | 20/F š·]
Created: Mon Mar 19 12:07:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85llin/peach_thread_190318/
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Hi there, just made a peach account !
My username's "mewd", feel free to add yours in the comments ā„
[Help] Low cal food ideas?
/u/kiwiismytruelove
Created: Mon Mar 19 11:27:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85l9rl/low_cal_food_ideas/
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Yo! I need to make my own food because my parents are convinced I'm starving myself. I need good low cal food options that LOOK like they are high cal. Preferably under 200-400 cals, and vegan.
[Other] Does anyone else picture their GW this way?
/u/squamouspuppies [5'9" | M]
Created: Mon Mar 19 11:10:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85l4tl/does_anyone_else_picture_their_gw_this_way/
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This sounds really weird to type out, but when I think about my GW, it's almost more like a place rather than just my weight. You know those old video games where you can see different locked doors or closed off pathways from the beginning, but you can't access them until later? That's kind of how I picture it; once I get there, I'll have gotten the key to open the big shiny door that I've waited so long to open and see what's behind it.
[Discussion] Not sure if it's a win or a fail if your significant other doesn't notice that you haven't eaten in 48 hours
/u/bunkinpumpkin [5'7 |CW:125.2lbs | BMI: 19.51 | -18.8 | GW: 125lbs | UWG: 118lbs]
Created: Mon Mar 19 10:56:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85l0i9/not_sure_if_its_a_win_or_a_fail_if_your/
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Evidently, he just doesn't notice. Might as well drag the fast out to 5-7 days then if he just isn't going to notice. Freedom! But also wow significant other dgaf/blind? Anyone else experience this?
[Rant/Rave] I am so fcking hungry.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 19 10:30:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ksqc/i_am_so_fcking_hungry/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ksqc/i_am_so_fcking_hungry/
[Discussion] Society's relationship to food and eating disorders
/u/fallowoath
Created: Mon Mar 19 10:20:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85kq0w/societys_relationship_to_food_and_eating_disorders/
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I'm sure the link between societal pressure and ideas of food and ideals w/r/t bodies has already been discussed here, but I was watching some terrible disgusting recipe video on facebook (one of the thousands of unnecessarily fatty/sugary/unhealthy concotions i.e. cream cheese brownie oreo cream cheesecake lava cake) and started thinking about how our society (mainly western) views food.
Just from advertisements alone, how many times a day are we forcefully bombarded with pictures and videos of food that's incredibly indulgent, oftentimes overly so. Consider how pervasive fast food advertisements are, and how often what they advertise provides little to no nutritional value.
And why is the culture around food turning into this attempt to create the most outrageous, excessive recipes possible? A brownie doesn't get exponentially better with every new junk food that you add to it. I don't think melted cheese poured on top of a burger is going to improve my dining experience in any way.
It feels like a lot of this stuff is directly harmful for people suffering from eating disorders; especially around binging patterns and what we eat when we won't or don't want to indulge in that way again.
I guess my point of my post is to open up discussion; how does the media we consume, mainly cantered around food, feed into our pathologies and continues to erode our already damaged relationships with food.
(sorry for wall of text :x)
[Rant/Rave] I weigh 90 pounds.
/u/theinvisiblefrog
Created: Mon Mar 19 09:47:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85kgjm/i_weigh_90_pounds/
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I weigh 90 pounds. My BMI is 17.0.
Or, I _am_ 90 pounds. I _am_ my weight. I am a BMI of 17.0. A daily caloric intake around 800 calories. A disorder that means I canāt think about anything but foodāa disorder that means I canāt be happy without not eating, canāt be functional without structuring my life around food.
It sucks. It sucks for me, and the people around me, and all of us. It sucks.
[Rant/Rave] I weight 90 pounds.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 19 09:37:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85kdu7/i_weight_90_pounds/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I didn't binge yesterday at a bridal shower where there was TONS of my favorite junk food.
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 171.4 | 30.00 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 08:06:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85jpj6/i_didnt_binge_yesterday_at_a_bridal_shower_where/
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I went to a bridal shower yesterday, and the spread of food was ridiculous. Donuts, muffins, super buttery cheesy egg bake, cookies, sugary drinks, GIANT platters of tea sandwiches, little miniature pie bites?! It was insane.
And I ate less calories than I had planned for myself. I ate a lot of fruit and 3.5 teeny sandwiches, drank lightly sweetened tea, and.... I still had so much fun.
I just needed to share this. This would have been a perfect chance for me to binge and purge (the bathroom situation was private and perfect for puking tbh) but I didn't.
I hope you lovely people have similar triumphs today <3
[Rant/Rave] Worst binge in a long time
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|110.6lb|23F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 08:00:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85jnul/worst_binge_in_a_long_time/
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I feel like such shit.
I always overeat over the weekends but this was something else. In-laws took us out to some wildly mediocre Mexican food and I went to town on chips and salsa and almost half of a HUGE plate of enchiladas. Then a medium blizzard from DQ. I normally eat ~1000/day. Next morning I told my husband how gross I felt and he was like "but you didn't even eat that much."
And as if to prove him wrong...I ate nonstop all day. Leftover Chinese. Handful after handful of animal crackers and Hershey's kisses and tortilla chips and whatever else I could find in the kitchen. Enormous home cooked meal feat. 3 enormous pieces of bread with jam and butter and two helpings of dessert and ice cream. Holy shit, I feel so bad. I haven't had a binge like that since I was in high school.
I have body checks from a couple days ago where I literally had a fucking six pack and I looked several months pregnant last night. I hope this doesn't happen again soon because I feel so horrible and out of control in a way I thought I'd never feel again. I thought I was over bingeing. Guess not. Doesn't help that I'm way behind work and now I feel disgusting AND disorganized. Probably going to punish myself by mixing adderall and caffeine, but anyone with advice or self-care suggestions please let me know.
[Discussion] Compliments.
/u/LynnieTheLemon [4'11" | CW: 118 | BMI: ?? | WL: -2 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 07:04:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85jatn/compliments/
---
My encounter with a homeless guy and a skate border tonight made me feel really good about myself. I think it made me feel beautiful in part because it was from strangers and they aren't really obligated to lie to me so it felt more genuine. Anyways, I got into a heated argument with my SO and decided to cool down and just go get some McDonald's fries to binge on and comfort eat.
And while I was out this really cute skater came by and pointed at me and did a skate trick for me. I thought it was cool because I use to skate all the time before I left home. We talked for a little while before a homeless guy came along and joined in the convo. Skater offered to pay for me and Homeless dude's fries. I ended up almost declining the offer (mainly because I feel gross eating in front of people) and jokingly said I was fat. Skater and Homeless dude began looking me over and telling me I look super thin and fit and petite! I almost wanted to cry because they were so adamant about it and it sounded so genuine! It made me feel so good I didn't think about how many calories were in my fries.
Have any of you guys had a moment like that? Where either the compliment was so genuine you had to believe it or it just made you feel really good to hear?
[Rant/Rave] This shit really skews your perception of healthy weight loss.
/u/lunaroseminnow
Created: Mon Mar 19 06:55:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85j8y1/this_shit_really_skews_your_perception_of_healthy/
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I was perusing /r/1200isplenty and there was a post from someone who had lost about 25 pounds in a year by eating at a 500 calorie deficit. This is an amazing achievement - they've obviously worked hard and are making consistently healthy choices with eating.
But my ED brain makes me a shitty person, because my first thought was actually 'Only 25?'. I've lost 21 pounds in 6 weeks. I was overweight to begin with (no, really - and I still am) and have been eating about 400-500 calories a day, on average. This isn't healthy. This isn't okay. I feel faint, I'm anaemic af, and I'm often unable to sleep due to how hungry I am. Yet I have this sick sense of superiority because in a few weeks, I'll have accomplished what this person could only manage in a year. What the fuck is wrong with me.
[Discussion] How do you deal with your mom?
/u/__charlotte_
Created: Mon Mar 19 06:52:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85j86r/how_do_you_deal_with_your_mom/
---
My mom is seriously the worst person I have to deal with in regard to my ED. She thinks Iām too thin, even tho Iām not even close to my goal weight and I have an average BMI. She keeps asking questions since Iām not that chubby anymore and comments always on my food intake. She even sometimes forces me to eat some sugar loaded things, which is making me insane. I got so many hurtful comments from her and since she has become such a negative trigger for me, I confronted her (in a really nice way) with being so mean. It just made it worse.. I definitely donāt want to talk to her and I know she is already suspicious. I love my mom and donāt want to have to avoid her... what do you guys do? Anyone struggling with their mom or family in general?
[Help] When the consequences of having your ED become real. (Or, how I might need to leave university thanks to bulimia)
/u/crumpet9 [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Mon Mar 19 06:19:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85j0ws/when_the_consequences_of_having_your_ed_become/
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Today I am supposed to be doing a presentation for my senior thesis. This presentation is important, and worth 20% of my grade. But, I'm not doing it.
Bulimia has taken everything from me. It ruined and ended my relationship with a man I loved. It's made me resent friends and family for innocent comments and - God forbid - wanting to eat and hang out with me. My hobbies are gone. I look at pictures of myself with friends and all I remember is what I ate that day. I've had binge/purge sessions that make me lose days - vomiting is the only thing I do and I spend it disoriented and not doing anything productive. About a month and a half ago I overdosed on laxatives. Woke up sweating, vomiting, I actually was convinced I would die that night. & yet I bought a brand new pack just the other day. I'm going into debt buying binge food, and then expensive restriction food to compensate.
Last semester I reached attendance failures in every single one of my courses because my body dysmorphia would get so bad I felt like I couldn't leave my apartment, because I couldn't bear the thought of people seeing how fat and ugly I am.
And yet, that's all been fine. I've dealt with it. Until now. This is real now. I am fucking up and it's because of this disease. I am supposed to be graduating in May. I'm not. I'm supposed to be doing a summer internship. I'm not. I should be getting prepared for my presentation today, on a topic I am hugely passionate about. I'm not. I've never romanticised my disorder. I chose it so I've always felt guilt over it, but I've never romanticised it. But I've ignored every problem it's caused me. But now I cannot. I need to call my parents this week and tell them I probably need to do a medical leave. I had to email my advisor this morning and tell her that I will not be doing my presentation, and that could we meet so I can discuss my options?
And the most terrifying thing about this? Is that I still don't want to give it up. The first thing I did today after class was go to the store and buy ice cream to b/p. Forcing myself to vomit is not self care. It's not sustainable. I am lucky enough that I have yet to face health issues from this. But this disease wants me dead. I don't know if I'm ready for recovery. I don't think I'm fully prepared to lose all of this. But I'm ready for it to stop controlling my life. Bulimia is currently in control of me and I'm finally angry. Angry at who I've become, at every new low I've reached. I don't know where to go from here, I really don't. But for now I'm still here, and I think that's what matters. My ED has destroyed years of my life, but maybe it doesn't have to take it.
Thanks if anyone read this. Between here and Peach I feel so fortunate I have a safe space to vent this. Sometimes I feel like I'm living a double life.
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! March 19, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 19 06:14:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85izx0/weekly_stats_update_march_19_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for March 19, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 19, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 19 06:14:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85izw0/daily_food_diary_march_19_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 19, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Beginning to feel like I'm not recovering well enough/fast enough for my friends
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Mon Mar 19 06:13:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85izkc/beginning_to_feel_like_im_not_recovering_well/
---
I'm probably in a relaspe to be honest, I ate breakfast and mentioned that I'd made a fatal mistake in doing so (which was a mistake to say) because I felt like we could've left the house sooner if I hadn't. My best friend gave me a look that screamed she was disappointed in me for not wanting to eat and my girlfriend said I was looking for reasons no to eat when I brought it up privately with her.
I feel really frustrated because I'm beginning to feel like they all think I should just eat and all my problems will be solved. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not good enough, I don't feel like I'm ill I'm not underweight and I'm becoming really annoyed and like they just want me to get fat. I just wish they'd stop with the comments. I feel like shit because of them.
[Discussion] March 19th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 06:09:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85iypp/march_19th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Describe your work ethic.
[Rant/Rave] I told my boyfriend I weigh only 8 kilos more than my skinny sister and he was shocked it was so little
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 19 05:36:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85isjz/i_told_my_boyfriend_i_weigh_only_8_kilos_more/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85isjz/i_told_my_boyfriend_i_weigh_only_8_kilos_more/
[Rant/Rave] Would a patd! lyric be too emo of a title for this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 19 05:03:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85imsy/would_a_patd_lyric_be_too_emo_of_a_title_for_this/
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[deleted]
[Goal] im fucking done with eating
/u/isaezraa [5'3 | CW 110 | GW 110-100 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 04:24:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ifnd/im_fucking_done_with_eating/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Bf's parents are so much nicer than mine
/u/cozyday [5'5"| CW: 123.8 | 19.9 | F22]
Created: Mon Mar 19 04:06:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85iche/bfs_parents_are_so_much_nicer_than_mine/
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So I've been with my bf for almost 2 years and only spoke to his parents few times (we live in a different city as students during the week), but they are so damn nice! His mom is such a kind and considerate lady. She would often bake something for him to take with and since she knows I try to watch what I eat she often makes some whole grain, low to no sugar muffins or cookies that are so low calorie I can actually eat them (she doesn't know about my ED of course, she's just nice).
His dad is a classic joker kind of dad, but still very kind and always willing to help with anything! They really do sound like a perfect family.
The thing is, my family is not like this. My dad is a horrible person, probably with many mental issues that he takes on other people. He is just an overall bad person that completely ruins our family's dynamics. He would often leave for few days without explanation and he is also very violent (rarely, but its there).
It's just so weird for me seeing such a functional family for a change.
I'm feeling anxious knowing that one day he will have to interact with my family. I don't want to merge the two worlds. I feel so good with him and although I like my family, it's probably the reason for many issues I have, including my ED.
I don't really know what I wanted to achieve with this post. I guess I just needed to vent. Sorry if the thoughts are all over the place.
[Rant/Rave] "I don't have to tie them when I wear them"
/u/Firerose157 [5'4" | ~118 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 03:44:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85i97l/i_dont_have_to_tie_them_when_i_wear_them/
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So, I've been wearing my bf's pajamas today, and had them tied relatively "tight" because I find it comfortable sometimes (unlike any other piece of clothing when it comes to the ED lol). He went to pull them down in a silly manner and couldn't get them to go down due to how they were tied. He went on to asking if I tie them tight to feel skinny (he loves my body and has told me I am actually getting too skinny so it wasn't a comment like "you are not skinny like you want to think"). He said he doesn't have to tie them when he wears them, and that I can cut off circulation. I don't know if this is ridiculous, but it really got to me. I have a thin waist (wish it were thinner) and it's the only thing I've ever naturally been proud of in regards to my weight, so to hear those comments made me feel sensitive about my weight (which he says needs to come up, no more restricting, he won't be with someone with that mentality but I understand) and stomach (the one spot I never seem to see as "complete", never skinny enough). I know he didn't mean anything bad
[Rant/Rave] Therapist rant
/u/calmlyranting [5'5 | Fluctuating | F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 03:09:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85i41k/therapist_rant/
---
I have two therapists, one from my college and one from an ED clinic I'm going to. I absolutely love the one from my college. She's one of the most kind, empathetic people I've met. She knows how to say the truth as she sees it but still allows me room to feel my feelings and have right to defend and keep my own thoughts.
So needless to say, the rant is about the one at my clinic. I've thought about it for a while, and I just don't know how to make it work. One of the big issues I have with her is that she doesn't seem to have any interest in actually doing anything for me outside of a class she put me in, which didn't really help me in any meaningful way. She's outright admitted to not really wanting to work as a therapist for me, but still wants me to make appointments with her so she can track how I'm doing. So our appointments usually don't even do anything. She doesn't tell me how she thinks I'm doing, or gives me any insight into what might help me. Another big thing happened at the class she put me in, another one of her clients was talking about how one of her goals for therapy was to be more independent, which she said was counterintuitive at the time and the therapist knew it. The therapist's response was to outright lie to her and tell her she was going to help her do so. I'm frustrated with this because now I'm not even sure if I can trust anything she would say anyway. I had really hoped that because she was a professional with experience with EDs that this would be a lot more helpful than it seems to be shaping up to be. I have a hard time describing exactly what I feel is going wrong though.
I think the main issue is that I don't trust her, and the fact that she admitted to lying to her clients makes me not sure if I'll be able to. The other issue is that I don't feel as if I'm being treated as an individual. I feel as if she heard "restriction" immediately paired it with anorexia and now I'm being treated as a disorder not a person. If that makes any sense. I'm aware that just because I feel a certain way doesn't make it true, but I don't feel like I'm getting much reason to think any differently than I am :(
Anyway, thanks for letting me rant. And to anyone who actually reads this.
[Rant/Rave] Wish I was there already
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"|SW:252|CW:227| GW:112| HW:294| 27F]
Created: Mon Mar 19 02:49:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85i12m/wish_i_was_there_already/
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I haven't been on Facebook for months, it was wasting too much of my time and I just stopped using it BUT today I checked it and people have put up "memories" which is pictures from this day so many years ago and OMG I AM SO EMBARRASSED. I look horrific! Face shots aren't so bad but body shots?! šš
So I thought I'd check out my profile to see any recently tagged pictures to make me feel better and even though I'm not so.... Round? I'm still fuckin horrific! I just wish I was at my GW right now š
I hate being so huge. I've ALWAYS been massive and feel like I always WILL be. I stopped binging and I've went from 247 to 224 since mid January and I just wish I was able to go quicker. I want to see more results now!
Sorry for the rant. Just feeling so deflated right now š
[Help] Going grocery shopping
/u/nerne
Created: Mon Mar 19 02:10:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85hv4i/going_grocery_shopping/
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Idk what to buy someone suggest things for me
Xanax and Loss of Appetite?
/u/Feelgoodfood [5'0 | CW 98 | GW 77 | -2]
Created: Mon Mar 19 02:08:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85hutu/xanax_and_loss_of_appetite/
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I've just been put on xanax and I feel like my appetite has decreased tremendously. I've been on other anti-depressants/anxiety meds before such as prozac, mirtazapine, ambien, valium to name a few but this is the first type of medication to have caused a severe loss of appetite.
Has anyone experienced this before?
[Rant/Rave] I don't know what I want from my SO.
/u/manateens [5'4 20F | 150 / UGW 98 | BMI27]
Created: Mon Mar 19 00:33:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85hgtb/i_dont_know_what_i_want_from_my_so/
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he tries so hard to be supportive but just...isn't getting it. It makes me want to just not talk to him about it, but I can't afford therapy either, and my best friend has eating issues of her own
I opened up and told him I've been purging last week. He gets concerned for a while, but then the last few days I've tried talking to him about my body dysmorphia and how fat I look and feel despite weight loss - and I guess I wanted confirmation that it's in my head. Instead he suggests we go to the gym. And my fucked up brain interprets that to "he thinks I'm fat and need to exercise more because I'm a disgusting pig." Instead of what I know was his intention of trying to support me. I just stopped talking and changed subjects and waited til he fell asleep to cry.
He supports me eating 500kcal/day. He supports my fasting. He gets me glasses of water when I purge and picks up bronkaid and caffeine pills at the store and eats most meals without me in the room and goes to get fast food for me to purge and it's all so supportive and he's trying everything he knows how and outwardly I try to be appreciative but inside it hurts.
I feel so shitty. I don't even know what I want him to be doing in response. He goes along with my shitty habits as if they're healthy and okay and then I second guess myself that maybe it's just not drastic enough, that I can't possibly have an ED at this weight, that maybe he'll stop encouraging me to restrict if I'm thin. But he's literally supporting everything I ask him to support. Fuck. When did I turn into such a manipulative asshole.
[Rant/Rave] I can't believe that I just ate an entire fucking pint of Halo Top
/u/wednesdayschild_ [5'3" | CW: No idea | BMI: Too scared to know | WL: Not enough]
Created: Sun Mar 18 23:34:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85h7bu/i_cant_believe_that_i_just_ate_an_entire_fucking/
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[removed]
[Help] binged yesterday, feel disgusting
/u/throwaway114971
Created: Sun Mar 18 23:20:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85h4u3/binged_yesterday_feel_disgusting/
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[removed]
[Help] Study Abroad in China
/u/EmilysButt [5'11" | Too Much | ): | -8 | 22F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 23:14:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85h3ya/study_abroad_in_china/
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I'm going on a three week trip to China this summer with a school led trip, starting May 15. I can't even look forward to it despite it being something I truly wanted because I'm freaking out about eating. I've been eating next to nothing for 2 months and I'm so scared of gaining all the weight I've lost back. My flair is incorrect, I've lost 15 now but can't update it on mobile. A lot of the meals for this trip are family style so at least I'll have control of serving size, but I have to keep up the illusion of me being a normal eater or I could be sent back early or something, and I'll be around my peers constantly.
Anyways, what I'm asking is, has anyone been to China and how did you cope with the food? Has anyone been in a similar situation and can help me out? I'm freaking out. I need advice, please.
[Rant/Rave] Bought a new digital bathroom scale. Says I weigh 4 more pounds than what my old analog one told me.
/u/petitepinaypls
Created: Sun Mar 18 22:47:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85gz4n/bought_a_new_digital_bathroom_scale_says_i_weigh/
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Kill me. š
[Help] Advice for college with an ed
/u/greenlegsnham
Created: Sun Mar 18 22:41:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85gy6x/advice_for_college_with_an_ed/
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I wonāt go too far into this other than the fact that Iām a junior in college, Iāve had bulimia since the start of my freshman year. I also recently found out I have bipolar and am terrified of taking meds for anything. My grades have gone to shit and Iām so so worried. I donāt care about anything other than losing and maintaining my weight. Iām also terrified of moving back home to live with my parents and not be doing anything with my life other than working (probably a serving job) and likely going to IOP. My family just keeps reminding me that I might lose my scholarship if I take a semester off (and that Iād be mad at myself for leaving and probably throwing up more anyway lol thanks Mom). My friends are very worried and telling me to take some time off. I feel like the only reason I havenāt killed myself yet is that I know college isnāt forever and I can graduate and get a job then live a boring life in peace away from this stressful environment.
Basically what I want to hear is students: did you just buckle down and suffer through it doing the bare minimum you could handle? Do you regret not taking a semester off or not getting more out of school? Or if you did take time off, was it a positive decision? Iām just really overwhelmed and feel like Iām about to break. I want to hear from people who get it.
[Other] Relative died. Funeral is tomorrow. Could use some support.
/u/VelvetMermaid [5'4 | CW + BMI: too high | GW: Never enough | F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 22:21:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85guph/relative_died_funeral_is_tomorrow_could_use_some/
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This is going to be long. Sorry.
At the start of this month, my great-aunt (my mother's aunt) peacefully passed away after a long battle with COPD. We were extremely close. I visited her in her nursing home several times so I know she was being well looked after, and the nurses treated her with kindness.
We had snow here and that day and night, it was especially bad. Her bed faced the window and she could see the outside, which she loved. I like to think she saw the snow before she died.
I haven't really talked to many people I know about this because it's a foreign concept given how many people either don't have a great-aunt, aren't close to theirs, or don't know them at all.
My girlfriend has been amazing but I haven't even spoken to her much about this because I'm too scared to open up despite the amount of support she's given. I don't want to put too much on her either, especially as we haven't been together long.
Anyway, the funeral is tomorrow (it's Monday here in the UK so tomorrow is Tuesday) and one of my cousins is tall and thin. I'm convinced she's underweight, whereas I'm overweight. I don't see her often but whenever I do, I find myself wishing I had her body. Everything fits her flawlessly. I look huge in comparison. I don't mind my height at all but ugh I'm forever comparing myself to her.
I won't be eating during the reception after the service and burial for reasons but I'll be trying to drown myself in alcohol as much as I can get away with given my parents aren't drinkers and I technically shouldn't drink. Nice one, self.
I don't know how I'll cope with all this. I can't even cry. I cried when I found out but after that, no real tears. I'm completely heartbroken and numb. I know the fact she's gone will truly sink in tomorrow and I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with it.
Dignity is overrated. Letās get gross.
/u/TheOrgazoid99
Created: Sun Mar 18 21:46:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85go3f/dignity_is_overrated_lets_get_gross/
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Can we talk about co-occurring shit the universe (or tbh ourselves) is putting us through? Like, as if I donāt have enough going on with the starving and puking and obsessing, thanks universe, I definitely needed a herpes outbreak **and** whats probably a haemorrhoid.
*Why, body? I treat you so well!*
Edit: sorry admin, on mobile, very definitely a rant
[Help] Is it a good idea to talk to my counselor?
/u/Ellerussellhere
Created: Sun Mar 18 21:35:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85glvw/is_it_a_good_idea_to_talk_to_my_counselor/
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I kinda wanna talk about my struggles with my counselor that I go to every week at school. I think she'll tell my mom though and I don't want her to be worried or disappointed
[Discussion] If your period went wonky, what did it take?
/u/TheOrgazoid99
Created: Sun Mar 18 21:35:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85glui/if_your_period_went_wonky_what_did_it_take/
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In terms of time, or behaviour, or lb?
Iāve relapsed pretty bad month with restricting, some purging, and a loooooot of appetite-suppressing caffeine. Iām my lowest adult weight, and size 2/XS clothes are getting loose.
As much as getting my period sucks (hello, gender dysphoria), it being late is worse.
On mobile, tag as discussion
[Help] WOW
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 21:19:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85giva/wow/
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[deleted]
Best low calorie foods to eat
/u/slythery_snek
Created: Sun Mar 18 21:16:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85gia6/best_low_calorie_foods_to_eat/
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[removed]
[Other] Me v Him; eating out while restricting reax
/u/Hunttery
Created: Sun Mar 18 20:51:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85gd8g/me_v_him_eating_out_while_restricting_reax/
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https://i.redd.it/vxxtpibqwmm01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] New job, can't cope
/u/til_wednesday [5'8" | CW: 115 lbs | GW: 99 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 20:34:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85g9tv/new_job_cant_cope/
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So I went from working as a hostess in a restaurant to working at a coffee shop because I was tired of working 6 days a week and double shifts on top of being a high school student.
I started this week, however, it's been... difficult, to say the least.
I worked with two other people tonight, I'll call them M (female shift leader, 19) and N (male who's been working for a month, 18)
So N was bossing me around, teaching me how to do cut work in the kitchen and would be so damn condescending whenever I made a mistake.
Then he would disappear on me so I couldn't find him and had no idea what to do next.
M came over to check on me and said I needed to speed it up and I had "plenty of time" to do my cut work, even though I had no idea what to do since N would go AWOL.
It's also stressful because M talked about how I was so pretty (really just because I'm blonde and spend 30 minutes on makeup every day), that I would bring in a lot of regulars and get a lot of tips.
Surely the amount of regulars and tip money would lessen the more I recovered and the more I gained.
I can't just quit because that would prove I'm a big fat baby who can't handle criticism and pressure, plus I really like avoiding meals with my mom and earning money on top of that.
With the stress and expectations I place on myself with working, I guess I just need to go back to restricting again to give me some semblance of control.
Here I go again.
[Tip] unsweetened vanilla almond milk + spenda 30cals per cup yw
/u/lead-by-example [6ā0 191 gw178 | m32]
Created: Sun Mar 18 19:55:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85g1a2/unsweetened_vanilla_almond_milk_spenda_30cals_per/
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hits the sugar craving so good and staves off so many binges
[Rant/Rave] Why do I do this to myself???
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 19:54:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85g171/why_do_i_do_this_to_myself/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] About to have a panic attack about ice cream
/u/marsmallowsenpai
Created: Sun Mar 18 19:44:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85fz0k/about_to_have_a_panic_attack_about_ice_cream/
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(Sorry if this post is rule breaking in any way I'm genuinely losing my mind rn)
Ah after a great day of eating nothing and doing really great and feeling really good I have a small dinner which definitely at the time felt horrible and disgusting but t know I just thought "hey pal it's okay that's still like... way less than a person should eat don't beat yourself up!" And yknow what for the first time ever that actually made me feel a bit less horrible and I got over it!
But then my dad invited me out for a drive in his new car and at the end we stopped at am oberweis (ice cream place) and I didn't want to get caught lmao so I fucking ordered the smallest size of the sundae he got and yall it's over 1200 kcal I just checked and I honestly just want to run outside and purge while he's in the bathroom. I can't fucking do this. I'm already starting to shake and I'm counting the fucking seconds for how long it's been since I ate that shit. I feel so fucking disgusting right now and I'm so sorry for this incoherent post but I don't know how to console myself this time.
[Discussion] How's your sleep?
/u/antelsa [5'11" | F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 19:23:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85fugj/hows_your_sleep/
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Hi, everyone.
Before this whole mess started, I was a really heavy sleeper. As in, literally-slept-through-a-fire alarm and regularly slept for 11 hours straight sort of sleeper. Since I've lost weight though, it feels like my brain sets an alarm clock in my head for reaaaaallll early on days when I don't get enough food. Has this happened to anyone else?
How have your eating patterns affected your sleep? How have you improved the quality of your sleep?
Oh, and any big meal is also now equivalent to a fat sleeping pill, lol.
[Rant/Rave] Two weeks without a binge then today happened š
/u/queenofflavortown [5'0"|CW 149lbs|HW 175|GW 120|F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 19:13:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85fsbh/two_weeks_without_a_binge_then_today_happened/
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I am so upset with myself. Yesterday was definitely a day where I overate but I was still slightly under my TDEE so I tried not to be too sad but today was just a complete fucking wash (over 3,000 cals which I havenāt done in over two weeks) and I am so disappointed in myself. I know itās just a little bump in the road compared to all the āgoodā days but still. So disgusted, ugh.
[Discussion] I have 190 calories for dinner, food recommendations?
/u/pointypoke
Created: Sun Mar 18 18:41:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85fli8/i_have_190_calories_for_dinner_food/
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[Discussion] You know you have a problem when
/u/SummerMournings
Created: Sun Mar 18 18:32:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85fjgx/you_know_you_have_a_problem_when/
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Eating at your BMR feels like a binge. I had 1250 calories today, 300 under my TDEE, and I feel like garbage. I honestly donāt know how I used to eat like this every day.
[Rant/Rave] Can we rant about cellulite??
/u/Ep1cDuCK [5'7.5" | CW: 105 lbs | BMI 16.2 | ]
Created: Sun Mar 18 18:10:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85fee3/can_we_rant_about_cellulite/
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I'm 15 pounds underweight and I go to the gym 4 times per week and I still have cellulite on my ass!!! Honestly makes me want to fucking cry. I always plateau at this weight because I just find it really hard to eat less than I already am.
I hate myself for feeling this way, but to make matters worse: my friend who is overweight and stuffs her face with whatever she wants has a cellulite free ass! It feels so unfair.
Anybody else here struggling with cellulite? Does anyone have any tips (anecdotal or literature supported are both welcome!) on how to get rid of it?
[Discussion] Anyone else left without treatment options because they're on Medicaid?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 17:38:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85f77n/anyone_else_left_without_treatment_options/
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[deleted]
[Help] My boyfriend found out I purged today...
/u/supemery
Created: Sun Mar 18 17:31:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85f5ps/my_boyfriend_found_out_i_purged_today/
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and now heās giving me the ultimatum between recovery (eating 1600 calories a day and not purging) and not being with him. This seems super unfair to me and Iām really pissed off about it. Please rant with me.
I have sent him an article and a picture of how to support people with EDs that specifically says donāt force them to eat or force recovery on them. He says heās going to read them. Anything else to send his way?
Update: He read the resources and ended up making a report card for himself: https://imgur.com/a/WvyyF
I ultimately think that he thought he was doing the right thing, I don't think he was trying to be an asshole. We'll see how things go...
[Help] Help me make a list of vegan, low-carb, non-processed, foods!
/u/listylist
Created: Sun Mar 18 17:23:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85f3vr/help_me_make_a_list_of_vegan_lowcarb_nonprocessed/
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I try googling but results are everywhere or have limited lists of like 7 things.
I feel guilty eating meat and animal products. I'm going to fast for an extended period of time, then after try to introduce "healthy" foods. I want to stick to keto/low-carb as well for the most part.
Is kimchi and olive oil considered processed?
-Mushrooms
-Olives
-Olive Oil
-Kimchi
-Spinach
-Lettuce
-Kale
-Certain nuts
-Celery
-Asparagus
-Avocados
-Brussel Sprouts
-Cauliflower
-Broccoli
-Coconut Oil
-Almond Milk??
I love beans and sweet potatoes for the fiber and vitamins so it sucks but maybe I'll leave those for a carb feed day once in a blue moon.
[Rant/Rave] why am i so fucking useless at restricting
/u/TinManOz [5'10"|CW: ~190|GW: 170|UGW: 120|pre-hrt trans girl]
Created: Sun Mar 18 17:21:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85f39b/why_am_i_so_fucking_useless_at_restricting/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Has it ever been determined how accurate the Fitbit calorie tracker is?
/u/vitalogy95 [5'5" | CW: 155 | BMI: 25.79 | GW: 115 | HW: 176]
Created: Sun Mar 18 16:38:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85et86/has_it_ever_been_determined_how_accurate_the/
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I get such a wide variation with TDEE calculators so I was hoping my Fitbit would give me a more accurate idea. Based on what Iāve read, some people say theyāre very accurate, others disagree so Iāve never really gone by that. When I heard it could overestimate, I stopped wearing it. But if it is pretty accurate, by our ED brain standards, I want to start using it again.
Whatās your experience with this? If itās inaccurate, is it by lot or is it close enough?
[Other] Today I walked 10 miles & then ate a pint of ice cream
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 16:25:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85eq0w/today_i_walked_10_miles_then_ate_a_pint_of_ice/
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[deleted]
[Help] I just asked my mom to get help, but I don't feel like I deserve it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 16:24:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85eps0/i_just_asked_my_mom_to_get_help_but_i_dont_feel/
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[deleted]
What are your best strategies for getting off the binge-related water weight?
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 152 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 16:08:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85em2a/what_are_your_best_strategies_for_getting_off_the/
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I'm just off of an awful 3-day binge as of 12pm today, and I have to be weighed at a Dr's appointment tomorrow. I have asked if I can be weighed backwards before, and they are awful and rude about it. I know I will flip out if I see the 10 pounds of water weight I probably gained. I know how silly this sounds since I am admitting myself that I know it's water weight, but I'd like to see as low a number as possible tomorrow.
Already cutting carbs and chugging H2O. What are you best tips for getting water weight off? Bonus points for harm reduction/healthy strategies...not down for the laxatives/diuretics, thanks.
[Help] Going to a buffet tonight. Tell me how much to eat :)
/u/ThermalAnvil [20 lbs lost]
Created: Sun Mar 18 16:04:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85el1g/going_to_a_buffet_tonight_tell_me_how_much_to_eat/
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[removed]
Anybody else 5ā2ā/157cm? Whatās your current weight and UGW? What is your TDEE?
/u/dreamedotcom
Created: Sun Mar 18 16:04:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ekxo/anybody_else_52157cm_whats_your_current_weight/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone have a macro/micro nutrient that you loathe?
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 125 | GW: 116 | 21F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 15:54:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85eihe/anyone_have_a_macromicro_nutrient_that_you_loathe/
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Right now mine is protein. It's ironic because I used to be keto. But now the foods I've chosen to eat all have low protein, and I'm not eating enough of them to get a decent amount.
It's just annoying because everyday I have to eat something that I don't really want because I need to get in protein.
I typically end up with tuna or yogurt bc of protein per calorie, but ugh it always feels unfair.
[Discussion] Question time!
/u/pray4prada
Created: Sun Mar 18 15:42:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85efi8/question_time/
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I always find it interesting to ask the ed community on different platforms this: how do you feel about Eugenia Cooney?
[Help] surgery gave me stretch marks?
/u/corianich [5ā9 | 57kg | BMI 18.5 | 16F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 15:41:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ef8a/surgery_gave_me_stretch_marks/
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i feel so disgusting, i LOOK so disgusting
itās bad enough that my tummy swelled up so much after the operation that i look pregnant but now iāve just noticed what iām fairly certain are stretch marks
i mean, iām not 100% sure but iām at least 90% sure and it scares me so much, i canāt have these marks, i really canāt
how do i get rid of them? can i get rid of them? the swelling was finally starting to stop and i thought this might be the end of it and iād stop feeling so dysmorphic but nuh uh!
oh god i donāt want to eat for the next two weeks, iām just gonna hope this is all a bad dream and the light is playing tricks on my eyes and when i wake up tomorrow morning thereāll be nothing there
[Discussion] Anyone else compare themselves to their boyfriends?
/u/chocoooomuffin [5'9" | CW 157 | GW 123 | -30 lbs | 24F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 15:16:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85e9h2/anyone_else_compare_themselves_to_their_boyfriends/
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I made my boyfriend weigh himself and found out Iām only 2 pounds lighter. He really didnāt want to but I was super persistent.
I also freak out when I have breakfast and he doesnāt, because heās a GUY and heās supposed to eat more. He works in construction so I just never understand how he eats less than me. Heāll go like all day without eating and not even notice. Meanwhile Iām just obsessing about food allll day. I even calculate his calorie intake to figure out if heās eating less than me, but he usually ends up eating big meals and coming up over.
I just wanna be light and smaller than him. Weāre the same height so I feel like I have to lose at least 20 pounds.
[Discussion] Lost over 10lbs but I still look fat
/u/snapschica
Created: Sun Mar 18 14:30:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85dxso/lost_over_10lbs_but_i_still_look_fat/
---
Hi, Iām new here usually I just lurk cause Iām kinda shy but I really need some feedback to my concerns that come from people who understand. For some background information, my starting weight was 118 and I am 4ā11. I am extremely bottom heavy. I look like when squidward had too many crabby patties. Iām currently 100lbs but I have lost almost no weight in my bottom half. I can see my ribs and my hip bones but my thighs remain jiggly as ever. My ultimate goal weight is 90lbs but Iām scared my thighs will still be huge. I keep comparing my self to Ariana Grande cause sheās a similar height but even though I weigh less then her I look fat and sheās really skinny. Iām at a loss and I donāt know what to do. Iāve been restricting for a while now(messed up on vacation though), on a good day I eat 350 calories and on a bad I eat 500. Has anyone had experience with this and how did you lose weight in your target area? Please, Iām on the verge of an emotional breakdown.
[Help] Vyvanse isn't helping with hunger, if anything it's making it worse? Am I doing something wrong?
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 14:26:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85dwv7/vyvanse_isnt_helping_with_hunger_if_anything_its/
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On my second day of 30 mg of prescribed vyvanse and heard it's supposed to help with hunger, but I actually feel much hungrier than normal? Doesn't seem to do anything other than give a bit of energy. I'm still eating the same amount I always do, so not trying to fast at this point, so I'm not sure what's up. Anyone else use it and how do you get it to work for you?
[Discussion] And we're back! And back again!
/u/ratorture [5'10 | 135 | 18.8| Perpetual Recovery|]
Created: Sun Mar 18 14:18:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85durl/and_were_back_and_back_again/
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DAE feel like their ED is a switch they can't control? I've done the recovery/relapse flip flop 3 times now, and I've noticed that nothing triggers me when I'm solidly recovered. I can manage my thoughts, I can bounce back when I have a bad day. But when I'm relapsing, I'm relapsing. Every habit, every thought, every behaviour is back, and it's not budging. It's like something flips and suddenly I'm happily restricting again, genuinely disgusted by my fear foods again, and my healthy-self is gone. I'm worried that my lack of control means some day I'll get stuck on the wrong side ... which side that is, I don't know lol. I guess nothing about mental illness makes sense, but sometimes I feel alone in how very crazy I am... over here with no will of my own or explanation for my behaviour.
[Help] I really, really need help
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sun Mar 18 14:05:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85drn6/i_really_really_need_help/
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Last night i lost all control and could not stop eating. It was like I was in a fucking trance and the whole time I wanted to stop but I couldnāt. Then I did my best to throw it up but it was mostly bread stuff so I couldnāt get most of it up.
It was so traumatic for me, I was crying and shaking and I had to leave work and call out today. I came over to my bfās and he knew something was up bc I left work but I canāt fucking find the words to tell him whatās going on. I tried but nothing comes out, and I know that even if I tell him he wonāt understand. Then he will be judging everything I eat or if Iām not eating. I canāt have him constantly analyzing how I am eating.
I feel like I am at a place where I canāt go back. I can never be normal again, I am so fucking low that it sounds so appealing just to end it. I wonāt bc I know this will pass but it is on my mind.
I need help so badly but I canāt afford therapy. I just tried to text the crisis hotline and called the hopeline I think it is called and it felt like they didnāt even want to be talking. I need help right now I canāt sit like this by myself, and calling that number was like my last resort and now I feel like I really have no where to go. Everything feels so hopeless and I canāt do this.
[Help] Sick After Eating
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 13:53:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85do84/sick_after_eating/
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[deleted]
How do people eat without counting calories and not get fat?
/u/tinybabybear [5'6" | CW:133 | GW:115 | 22F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 13:50:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85dnga/how_do_people_eat_without_counting_calories_and/
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If I try to eat ānormallyā I gain weight. If I count calories I can maintain or lose. But how the FUCK do people just eat three meals a day without counting and not get fat?
I used to eat normally and not gain weight, back when I was 12 or 13. But ever since I started noticing my body itās like I have to be a food nazi just so I wonāt balloon up. Is my body just broken??
[Discussion] What's the most stubborn part of your body?
/u/limelightwithyou [5'2 | 93.4 | 17.1 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 13:49:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85dnen/whats_the_most_stubborn_part_of_your_body/
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My legs and thighs, no matter how much I restrict and exercise, are always massive compared to the rest of me :(
[Intro] New user.
/u/pray4prada
Created: Sun Mar 18 13:47:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85dmw8/new_user/
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Hey, Iām Silene. Just wanted to introduce myself. I always look for the ed community in whatever new platform I find for some reason. I love this subreddit so far and would love to make a few friends along the way. Iām 21, I love cats and I love tattoos and piercings. Tell me something cool about you? Iām an ordained minister. Haha.
[Help] I broke my Bf's couch-but didn't kill myself...yet (Trigger warning)
/u/DootDeeDootDeeDoo [5'0|BMI:104.3|SW:285|CW:230|GW:75|FtM]
Created: Sun Mar 18 13:30:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85diif/i_broke_my_bfs_couchbut_didnt_kill_myselfyet/
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[removed]
[Other] I built a better LoserTown/New BMI Calculator
/u/TreatmentTime [5'9 | 142 | 20.9 | -21 | 24]
Created: Sun Mar 18 13:23:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85dgsa/i_built_a_better_losertownnew_bmi_calculator/
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tl;dr: LoserTown is a pain to use on mobile and I hate having to re-input all my stats every time I use it, which is near-daily at this point.
I built an alternative that's mobile-friendly and saves your data so all you need to change when you come back is your current weight and intake (if it's changed).
You can try it at [justcico.com](http://justcico.com).
---
If anyone's curious how it works, the equation used to predict TDEE is from ["A new predictive equation for resting energy expenditure in healthy individuals." by Mifflin MD, St Jeor ST, Hill LA, Scott BJ, Daugherty SA, Koh YO \(1990\)](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2305711).
It takes your current weight, intake, TDEE, and calculates the new values for each day based on your projected loss, so that your TDEE is always accurate for your "new" weight.
If you have any feature requests or suggestions let me know. I might add a setting to control the interval for the predictions table so that it instead shows e.g. 3 days at a time instead of a week like it does now.
For the privacy-conscious out there, no data is collected - that was the other thing I didn't like about LoserTown! No need for someone else to know my weight when it can all be calculated on your own computer!
[Discussion] ed & relationships
/u/swanstav [5'3 | 91lbs |BMI:16 | GW:85 |]
Created: Sun Mar 18 12:55:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85d9pp/ed_relationships/
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how many of you are in long term relationships ? How do you make it work ? Do you tell them about it constantly or try to hold off ?
having an ed has put so much strain in my relationship, wondering how others go about this.
[Rant/Rave] my mom is catching on
/u/antha19 [5'6"| cw: 152lbs | bmi:24.63 | female]
Created: Sun Mar 18 12:53:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85d96d/my_mom_is_catching_on/
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last night, she and i were having dinner at a restaurant we used to frequent, where we would order ourselves a bunch of different stuff to share. that was before my ed kicked in. so back to the story, all i had planned on eating was their salad (which is my absolute fav) and whatever she felt like eating, just for the sake of being inconspicuous. she ended up ordering a 4 cheese pizza (140 cals/slice) which was NOT ok as i had been encroaching my calorie limit for the day. i hesitantly took two slices, and she chided me on how little i ate, eventually saying, and i quote: "don't you dare go anorexic on me, i'll kick your ass and force feed you until you snap out of it" so....... i think i'll be declining any and all future dinner invites from her until she forgets.
[Discussion] March 18th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 12:50:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85d8ee/march_18th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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In 3 words, describe your spirituality.
[Rant/Rave] I only ever like my ED if I'm restricting
/u/ImNotaTreeImaShrub [5"5' | CW 173 (-27lbs) | BMI 28.8 | LW/UGW 115LBS | 32F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 11:40:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85cqtc/i_only_ever_like_my_ed_if_im_restricting/
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The past week I haven't been able to eat under 800 cals a day. I binged and purged yesterday and today I still have the most insane urge to binge. So I'm trying so hard to just eat more today and keep it down because I *know* the only way to stop binging is to eat more even if just for a bit. But it's so fucking hard. When I restrict I feel good and clean and in control. When I'm in a binge purge cycle I feel disgusting. It's bullshit.
[Rant/Rave] Watched American Pie With My Boyfriend Last Night
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 11:29:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85co7x/watched_american_pie_with_my_boyfriend_last_night/
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[deleted]
[Help] Gas and bloating while restricting?
/u/fallowoath
Created: Sun Mar 18 11:20:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85clx9/gas_and_bloating_while_restricting/
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Does anyone else get major Gas, and incredibly bloated while restricting or even when they're hungry for too long? it's probably one of the things that bothers me the most and is the hardest to deal with-its supremely uncomfortable. I find it doesn't happen if I'm moving around though, only when I'm sitting around a lot
[Rant/Rave] Do you ever feel paralyzed by choice
/u/fallowoath
Created: Sun Mar 18 11:18:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85cldu/do_you_ever_feel_paralyzed_by_choice/
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Oftentimes whenever I'm confronted with the choice of buying food I won't be able to make a decision. I'll be in a cafe or grocery store just staring at everything just feeling like there's so many options but the best one would be to not buy anything at all.
It's the same when I wake up in the morning and I'm just terrified of eating because everything I eat means I have less that I'm allowed to eat afterwards. Like if I ate 300 calories of eggs that's 300 calories that I can't have again. I'm just so scared and the safest option just seems like to not eat anything at all, even when I'm so fatigued that making the bed takes all of my energy and is a bit too much for me.
[Rant/Rave] I miss my boobs
/u/Douchebagette
Created: Sun Mar 18 11:16:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ckw0/i_miss_my_boobs/
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I'm having a weird moment this morning. I was weighting myself and as I peered over my ponch I took a long moment to really realize what happened to my boobs.
I used to have great tits, or at least other people seemed to think so. I'd get slightly uncomfortable but self esteem boosting complements on them from time to time. I used to wear pretty bras. My partners always seems to enjoy them and touching them and touching me.
Now they just sit there like some vestigial growth from when my species used to be happy. One always used to be a little bigger but it never bothered me but now it's very noticeable. They hang off me like two half deflated hand blown balloons taped the the wall of an office party.
I love the look of small boobs, it's what I'm personally attracted to but my past lifestyle booted that possibility out of my life.
So I suppose I'm nostalgic about my body. Looking back on the bad times but only seeing the good in that one part of me.
/rant I guess.
[Help] Tips for a 500 cal diet?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 11:09:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85cj9w/tips_for_a_500_cal_diet/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Why can't i just eat normally?
/u/IiIbeansprout
Created: Sun Mar 18 10:54:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85cfqq/why_cant_i_just_eat_normally/
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this is just a low tier rant, but im tired, hungover, and hungry as hell but all i could stomach was half of a black iced coffee. my boyfriend invited me to eat breakfast, and i just couldn't do it. i saw a post on snapchat of a friend at denny's and i lost it, the anxiety overwhelmed me. i wanna enjoy food again but i just cant??? why am i like this, nobody wants to do anything with me now, because all anyone wants to do is eat, and all of my new clothes i bought 3 weeks ago are too big on me. im just tired, but i cant stop
[Rant/Rave] Morning rant before I start my day
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 10:50:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85cevk/morning_rant_before_i_start_my_day/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Things people have said
/u/fatchanceforthin-ice [5ā6 | 113.6 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 10:47:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85ce8y/things_people_have_said/
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Things people have said that probably meant nothing, but I have spent years over-thinking them:
My doctor in high school taking my weight and saying Iām slightly underweight, but it looks good on me
My mom telling me my butt is getting big
My mom patting my belly as a child and telling me I was a chunk
Maddie, from high school, telling me my boobs were only big because Iām fat
My ex buying me a size large shirt
Anyone want to add anything?
[Rant/Rave] We all deserve empathy and kindness
/u/hollyhock_MMGRZHFM
Created: Sun Mar 18 10:45:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85cdp9/we_all_deserve_empathy_and_kindness/
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Iāve read a lot of negativity in this sub today (which is unusual as this sub tends to be incredibly supportive), and I just want to remind everyone (including myself) that weāre all struggling, and we all deserve empathy and kindness. We deserve to feel empathy and be kind to others and to ourselves, which can be very difficult. I try my absolute best not to be judgmental of others, but I still struggle to be kind to myself. Thatās something I need to work on, and thatās okay. None of us are perfect, but we can all strive to be kinder, more empathetic people. I hope everyone has a good day, and I hope all of us can do something nice for ourselves today, because we all deserve it.
[Rant/Rave] I ate 1400 calories a day for a week.
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Sun Mar 18 10:31:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85caed/i_ate_1400_calories_a_day_for_a_week/
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I'm back on this sub after avoiding it for the past week. I've been wanting to check if I have a thyroid problem, so I decided to eat 1400 calories a day for a week to see whether I gain real weight. My reasoning was that 1400 calories is my BMR so if I gain real weight on it, then my BMR is 900 calories, as I average that amount per day a week and have been maintaining for WEEKS.
Guys, it's so hard guys. It's so, so hard. I'm emotionally wrecked. I can't bring myself to eat high calorie foods, so I constantly ate low calorie snacks to reach a 1400 calories. I've never felt like such a disgusting slob in my life.
Today is the last day I am supposed to eat like this, and this morning my weight was up about 3 kilos from normal, so I am super worried that my BMR really is 900 calories and I just set myself backwards by stuffing my fat Face for a week. My plan is to eat normally (restrict) for the next week and see if my weight stays the same or moves lower.
I'm so utterly terrified I do have a thyroid problem because it takes my illusion of control out of my life. I will no longer be restricting because I choose to, I will be restricting because I have to to maintain, not even lose. And gaining weight is eventual because bmr decreases every few years.
If my weight doesn't go down, I'll do a blood test and if it turns out I do have a thyroid problem, I'm not sure if I even want to live anymore.
[Other] Do yall have an ED instagram?
/u/littlefawnx
Created: Sun Mar 18 10:26:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85c9df/do_yall_have_an_ed_instagram/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Here we go again
/u/fatchanceforthin-ice [5ā6 | 113.6 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 10:17:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85c75x/here_we_go_again/
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It was only a few months ago that I was obsessing over my weight and got down to 105. Itās an amazing feeling to see that on the scale. My boyfriend touched my ribs and my hip bones. When he would touch my spine, I would always wonder if it was a touch of admiration or worry. I have never felt so beautiful as I did at 105. My legs were thin and beautiful and you could tell by the looks on womenās faces that they admired my body. Maybe they were even jealous.
But I was mean. I was a bitch to everyone. I would judge everyone eating and think about how many calories they were eating, and how good I was by comparison for not giving in and allowing myself to be so gluttonous. I would look at other womenās arms with disgust and think to myself, mine will never be that way because I donāt indulge the way you do. I could sense that other women felt intimidated by the way I would look at their bodies. In reality, I was envious of them for being able to eat whatever they want and still feel comfortable with their own body.
I became very sickly. The color of my face was quite washed out, any type of exercise felt extremely strenuous, and I felt that I needed 10+ hours of sleep each night just to function. One day I decided to go for a jog, and I just couldnāt do it. I began vomiting after a mile or two and became extremely weak. Thatās when I knew that I had taken things too far, and I needed to recover. At first, it wasnāt easy... but then it was. After about a month I was eating whatever I wanted. Bags of chips, brownies, tons of candy. I would eat every time I was hungry, and I would eat past the point of being full. And then I started seeing the weight.
117.6. I got all the way up to that number on the scale after a few short months of eating and eating and eating. And I felt like I let everyone down. My boyfriend didnāt touch my bones anymore. Sometimes I would eat more than him and feel very judged by him for that. I felt hideous and disgusting and I imagined myself getting bigger and bigger to the point where I was the jiggly-armed woman.
So last week I put my foot down. And here I am. Down to 113ish this morning. And after typing this I am realizing how irrational it is to be obsessed with 10 pounds but you know what? Those 10 pounds make a world of difference on my body.
Why am I this way. Why do I hate myself so much. Why do I put myself through this.
Thanks for reading my rant.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Do stats even mean anything? Who else compares theirs to celebrities?
/u/bashytr0n [5'2" | 45kg/99lbs | 18.95 | GW 43/95lbs]
Created: Sun Mar 18 09:52:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85c1ah/rant_do_stats_even_mean_anything_who_else/
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I found out today that Ariana grande is the same height as me, ive never been a huge fan of her music but always thought she looked really good. So naturally i google her stats... lo and behold i weigh less than her, and yet somehow I look nowhere near as good or thin.
Am I just cursed with fucked up gnome like proportions that will look stocky even if i weighed like 70lbs? Are her stats false and she actually weighs way less? I know body comp comes into it but i have decent muscle density and strength.
My genetics frustrate me so much sometimes and i feel so helpless that i can't change them.
[Discussion] Binge triggers?
/u/Jusaliability
Created: Sun Mar 18 09:47:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85bzzq/binge_triggers/
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Well, I've finally weighed myself. Lost 3 lbs! Of course this also caused a binge.
**This isn't me asking "how to ED". These last three weeks have been amazing. I'm eating under what I "need", but eating more than I have. I've had energy. I've exercised. I haven't binged (well except yesterday). If I binge I restrict. I starve. I over exercise. I feel miserable. So really I'm asking how "not to ED" lol
I've since out my scale up again.
So far, for myself, I've identified that weighing myself and being sleep deprived trigger a binge.
I've noticed that these seem to be a trend around here. I'm just wondering if anyone has successfully identified any other "triggers"? They might be mine as well.
Thank you, I've only posted a couple times.. I mostly comment here and there. This community is wonderful. I don't think I've ran into another sub that's been so kind and caring to one another. Just letting you guys know you are making a difference. ā¤ļø
[Rant/Rave] Idk why but this makes me so angry
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5ā4ā | cw 118 | gw 110 | bmi 20.7]
Created: Sun Mar 18 09:35:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85bxh4/idk_why_but_this_makes_me_so_angry/
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I have no rational reason for getting mad at this but whenever I see pics of hot skinny girls with tons of food I get fjhshshdhjdjd
[this picture](https://instagram.com/p/BgeCo35DdQK/) just set me off for some reason and the caption says ātag a friend youāve done this with ;)ā ((warning this might possibly be triggering idk))
Never in my life have I happily binged with a friend bc I would attempt to throw up right after idk it just doesnāt make sense that normal people do this.
[Intro] Deleted peach, now I'm back... (@mikamou)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 09:28:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85bvvp/deleted_peach_now_im_back_mikamou/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Binging and every aspect of my life becomes meaningless
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 09:16:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85btag/binging_and_every_aspect_of_my_life_becomes/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] wrote a (long) list of things that i've learned about binge eating disorder in the last year of therapy
/u/xoxoxsssy
Created: Sun Mar 18 09:00:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85bpti/wrote_a_long_list_of_things_that_ive_learned/
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http://tcat.tc/2sf7KWt
[Rant/Rave] Sick of people who have never had an eating disorder on r/loseit try and educate others with clearly false info about EDs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 08:58:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85bp9h/sick_of_people_who_have_never_had_an_eating/
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[deleted]
[Other] Do you ever worry about absorbing calories from residual food?
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 08:56:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85bozo/do_you_ever_worry_about_absorbing_calories_from/
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https://i.redd.it/95a2exc2djm01.png
[Discussion] How do you guys feel about the very first 'water weight' pounds that seem to drop off so easily?
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 171.4 | 30.00 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 08:34:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85bk5c/how_do_you_guys_feel_about_the_very_first_water/
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Today is day three of restricting after a long period of recovery and I've dropped four pounds. I know it's water weight and not fat that I've lost, but it's still so satisfying. How do you all feel when this happens? Is it exciting or discouraging? Does it motivate you or make you less likely to stick to your goals?
Side note - updating my flair on this subreddit is going to be a major motivation <3
[Discussion] Post Binge Cycle Plan
/u/Shh_its_not_me_yo [5'7 | CW: 125 | Gender: F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 08:30:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85bj7y/post_binge_cycle_plan/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How to stop weighing myself everyday
/u/nerne
Created: Sun Mar 18 07:31:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85b84d/how_to_stop_weighing_myself_everyday/
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I have an obsession with getting on the scale everyday and sometimes my weight goes up overnight and i know itās just fluctuations but it ruins my entire day.
How do i stop this obsession
[Other] I like sleeping and taking naps
/u/daddytwink
Created: Sun Mar 18 06:57:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85b24f/i_like_sleeping_and_taking_naps/
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Just so I can not think about food for some hours and so I wonāt use up all my calories for the day. Sometimes Iāll fall asleep like at 5 pm without eating too much and wake up at 12 am the next day and I feel so good when I see that I ate under 1,000 the previous day.
A few days ago I fell asleep for like 17 hours and the first thing I thought when I woke up was *yay i didnāt stuff my face for 17 whole hours woo*
I guess this is one of the few benefits of having sleeping problems š
[Rant/Rave] Say something?????
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 06:53:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85b1hp/say_something/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I don't know how to be okay again
/u/nopenopenpoenope
Created: Sun Mar 18 06:50:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85b133/i_dont_know_how_to_be_okay_again/
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What really depresses me about anorexia isn't that I look like an emaciated child. It isn't that I've lost any interest in the activities I used to enjoy, or even the fact that all of my social relationships have dissolved into thin air. It's that I don't know how to be okay anymore. It's that I took something so basic, so primal, so necessary... something so unabashedly innocent, and ruined it for myself. Food. People should wake up in the morning and feel hungry. They should think, oh, what do I want to have today? Do I want something sweet? Do I want something savory? A mix of both, perhaps? What tickles my fancy? Their first thought shouldn't be, how long can I delay eating this morning? They should enjoy variety, not resign themselves to the same foods day after day (and yet scrutinize them each morning, afternoon, and night as if they've never seen them before), lock themselves in the repetitious monotony of a self-contained prison.
Perhaps the stupidest thing I do is collect foods I used to like. I have cupboards full of crackers, snacks, granola bars, cake mixes, and other miscellaneous remnants of what I used to love once upon a long long time ago. I have this idea -- pathetic as it is -- that somehow these things will make me okay again. All they really do is make it worse. I more or less maintain my weight and could "afford" to eat anything I wanted (conveniently ignoring the fact that I exercise for hours a day, of course). The other day, for example, I thought how nice it would be to eat a peanut butter sandwich. And the truth is, I could eat a peanut butter sandwich. I could make myself a reduced-calorie option, or, if I wanted to, I could even eat one with real peanut butter and that soft, thick bread we all so love. I wouldn't gain weight. Nothing would happen. But what would happen, instead? I'd despise every bite, feel overwhelmed with anxiety and the thought that, no, this is bad. No, you made a poor choice. No, you should have had something with more protein, something that will fill you up... No, this is just junk. No, this is too many calories, now you can't have a nice snack this evening. Why did you make such a poor choice? That sandwich wasn't worth it. ...In the end, eating the sandwich is ten times worse than not doing so, even if I thought I wanted it.
...I shouldn't have to think these things. I should be able to just have what I want and make peace with it, not tear apart ten times over what illusory meaning it does or does not have. In the end, I realize I didn't even want a sandwich. I just wanted to feel okay again. I wanted to feel okay again, and I knew that a long time ago I felt okay eating that soft, gooey peanut butter sandwich. Yet it can't help me anymore. I don't want granola bars, or any of these foods. I fantasize about remnants of what once was with the delusion that time can be reduced to nothing, and I can have again what I did before. No, no, it's not like that. Maybe if I'm lucky I can one day enjoy these foods again, but it won't be in the same context of myself. Accepting that is hard, so instead I sit here like a fool thinking that I will someday get a different outcome from the exact same input. Fool! It doesn't work like that. You have to do something. You, you, you.
All I want is to someday sit on the grass on a mid-summer afternoon and enjoy a sandwich, maybe with a couple of soft-baked cookies on the side. I want to sit there on that warm, breezy afternoon without a care in the world, without worrying about exercising for hours upon hours or having a quasi-existential crisis about the food in front of me. How ridiculous is my plight? I find it hard to take myself seriously. I can't believe I took what should be the most simple thing in the world and turned it into a daily battle. I should be out living my life, doing things, breathing the fresh air and feeling snowflakes fall upon my lips, not suffocating myself in the shadow of self-induced demise. I deserve so much better. This is not okay. I'm not okay. I'm not okay, and I'm not sure I know how to be okay again.
Well, then. I have no choice but to figure it out eventually. "Eventually," why not today? Why today? I only wish I knew better.
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 18 06:11:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85auzx/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 18, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 18 06:11:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85auxv/daily_food_diary_march_18_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for March 18, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] I smashed a bowl when I was getting ready to cook and it stopped me from eating
/u/attackedbydinosaurs
Created: Sun Mar 18 06:02:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85atje/i_smashed_a_bowl_when_i_was_getting_ready_to_cook/
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[removed]
[Help] I just binged over 6,000 calories...will my body really absorb all of this?
/u/Bloppitt [5'2 | 131 | -42 lbs | 23F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 03:50:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85acyq/i_just_binged_over_6000_calorieswill_my_body/
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Title says it all. I ate 6,000 calories today. My TDEE is only 1450. I wanna die. I already binged an extra 509 cals this week per day which means another 3509 calories in my body. I donāt wanna gain another 2 lbs. itās 3 am and Iām in so much pain. I donāt wanna live to see the next day, feel the bloat, the red burning skin, the shame and hopelessness. am I for real gonna absorb that much? Itās amazing how many calories are in fucking guacamole
[Rant/Rave] Made an effort to eat more for no damn reason apparently
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 18 03:35:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85abbs/made_an_effort_to_eat_more_for_no_damn_reason/
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[deleted]
[Other] This song about Anorexia really resonates with me
/u/ciderspider
Created: Sun Mar 18 02:47:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85a5ng/this_song_about_anorexia_really_resonates_with_me/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djS5XuvRafM
[Discussion] Liquid Fast?
/u/thewanderingvegan
Created: Sun Mar 18 02:45:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85a5fm/liquid_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Thank the gods for Wellbutrin
/u/extemely_basic [5'7 |Don't ask don't tell | GW 115lbs | -40lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Mar 18 02:27:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85a3cp/thank_the_gods_for_wellbutrin/
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My doc switched my depression meds once my previous one, an SSRI, stopped working. After a bit of discussion about my worst symptoms (fatigue, lack of focus) he decided to get me off of SSRIs in general and switch me to Wellbutrin about 2 weeks ago.
Holy shit you guys. I don't want to eat anything, and I actually have the energy to do stuff! I don't have a scale but I'm 100% sure I've lost more than 5lbs (being real conservative about that number) without actively changing anything. When I try to drink, I can't even have half the amount of wine I had before, which means less calories! Greasy food makes me feel like shit, and fruit is the only appetizing thing I want to eat.
I thought my post-breakup depression was going to make me lose more weight but now I think it's this miracle medicine that'll do it instead.
I fucking love Wellbutrin!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Fitting into old clothes
/u/cassixo524 [170cm | 123 lbs| 19.25 | -20lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 18 01:17:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/859v4i/fitting_into_old_clothes/
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I have been having a rough couple weeks with my weight. Itās been consistently up 3-5 lbs and I know itās because Iāve been eating way more calories than I should be. I felt even worse when I put on a new pair of high waisted jeans that I had ordered online a few weeks ago after trying them on in store and they were too tight around my waist. The zipper wouldnāt even stay closed.
I have been so frustrated since then that Iāve working harder at the gym, but I canāt get my eating under control. I still havenāt seen a change on the scale and Iām stressed out.
Iām at my parentās house for the weekend, and I got bored and started digging around for old clothes. I havenāt really tried any of my stuff on from high school because I got too fat for it a few years ago. I found my grad dress in the back of my old closet and thought Iād try it on since Iām back to what I remember my weight being in my senior year.
I am too small for the dress!!! Even laced up as tight as I can get it, it is too loose!
I know this is so dumb but I canāt share all this stuff with my family and SO, and Iām just so happy that I wanted to tell someone! This has fueled my motivation and Iām going back to eating enough to fuel myself for the gym but not so much that I am gaining weight back!!
[Rant/Rave] Havent had a serious binge since last June
/u/littlefawnx
Created: Sun Mar 18 00:15:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/859n1e/havent_had_a_serious_binge_since_last_june/
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Seriously. Sometimes i "make" myself binge when I feel like purging, but I don't feel that loss of control. I'm able to stop at anytime. I haven't "made " myself binge since last December. Feels great, guys :'
somehowimstillfatthoughā¢
[Discussion] Does anyone else do this
/u/Ellerussellhere
Created: Sat Mar 17 23:41:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/859i4r/does_anyone_else_do_this/
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I eat ice (only thin ice so I don't hurt my teeth) and try to trick myself into thinking it's food
[Discussion] Fave pre-ED food VS. Fave food now?
/u/thisfightisnotover
Created: Sat Mar 17 23:26:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/859fzu/fave_preed_food_vs_fave_food_now/
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It's a huge difference for me ! I used to love pizza but now it's those little easy-peel oranges.
[Discussion] Does anyone else sometimes feel like they're slowly dying but that's ok?
/u/ImMissBrightside [5'2" | cw: 108 | gw: 100| 23f]
Created: Sat Mar 17 23:10:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/859djk/does_anyone_else_sometimes_feel_like_theyre/
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Sometimes after I haven't eaten anything for like a day or two I just lie on my bed and I feel like I'm starting to die. Like I'm a character in a movie who has just realized that they've been poisoned. But it doesnt make me feel scared or weak, it just kind of reassures me that I'm making progress. I dont know, maybe it's just me, maybe I just sound delusional
[Rant/Rave] Gotta rave about my FWB for a sec
/u/BreakdownShakedown [5'2" | CW: 129.6 | SW: 147.7 | GW: 120 | UGW: 110 | 24F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 23:07:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/859d6a/gotta_rave_about_my_fwb_for_a_sec/
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So Iāve been moving my stuff from one bedroom to another all day today and I am so exhausted. Havenāt really eaten so I could drink more tonight cause St. pattyās day and all. FWB comes over and guys, he brought me a zero cal monster when I didnāt even ask. I love this man, heās fucking great.
Sorry, just needed to get that out to people who would understand. You guys have a good night š
[Help] Really want a ācheat mealā when I finish my fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 17 23:04:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/859cpj/really_want_a_cheat_meal_when_i_finish_my_fast/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Moralizing weight
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW 149.4lb | 19.82 | -27 | GW 140]
Created: Sat Mar 17 22:50:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/859ag3/moralizing_weight/
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I just wanted to sort of think out loud about this. I read through my really old posts and am sort of shocked about how much moral significance and self-worth I attached/still attach to fat. When I see the excess fat on myself I really do see it as personal failure - as concrete, unavoidable evidence of my imperfections.
I ask myself if I judge people more based on their weight than their actions, and I don't. (But I also subconsciously see thin people vs. larger people and judge them, when I don't know their personality, which I'm pretty ashamed of.) Pretty sure that instinct has been developed in me by media and peers.
I find it amazing how people can ignore society's acute demonizing of fat and lose weight at a normal rate. It's so ubiquitous, it's impossible to ignore. People are so cruel about fat and so worshiping of thinness. Larger people's work ethic, personality etc are immediately criticized just because of their appearance. This makes it not just an issue about beauty but character as well. I was brought up in a Christian home (I'm now atheist lol) and morality and having good character was heavily emphasized. Also, it goes without saying that women are forced to occupy themselves with beauty in every aspect of life, and it is seen as a virtue.
How do normal non-disordered people see themselves normally at higher weights? I don't understand it at all. Maybe it's because I'm a bit of a perfectionist, but it really baffles me. Weight is something I can't hide - everyone can see 24/7 how I've failed in this aspect and base judgments of me on that, especially since I tend to not talk much. I can ignore it to an extent and my mind convinces me that it's not that bad in the moment, but eventually I become very dissatisfied with myself and cringe when I see old pictures.
I really have no idea how people can lose weight at a normal pace and not hate themselves at higher weights because of society's expectations. Idk where I was going with this, it's just amazing to me how not everyone has disordered eating.
[Rant/Rave] Fave food
/u/Ellerussellhere
Created: Sat Mar 17 22:26:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8596n6/fave_food/
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I friggin love apple sauce and sometimes i just have one or two and that's all I eat in one day and it makes me feel so good about myself lol
[Help] Who dose keto diet here?
/u/KawaiiTillIDie
Created: Sat Mar 17 22:13:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8594ed/who_dose_keto_diet_here/
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[removed]
[Help] Binged every day this week...going away for spring break on monday...
/u/throw_food_away
Created: Sat Mar 17 22:04:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8592qu/binged_every_day_this_weekgoing_away_for_spring/
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[removed]
[Discussion] St Patrickās Day
/u/glssslipper
Created: Sat Mar 17 21:31:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/858wur/st_patricks_day/
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Going out with the family today. Felt like I could do whatever it want since Iāll probably just get wasted and puke anyways. Anyone in the same boat? Felt like I could binge a little, bit now feeling guilty af.
[Rant/Rave] can i get some support after a very public meltdown? probably tw.
/u/HeartSecret [70" | CW 135 | CGW 125 | UGW 118 | female]
Created: Sat Mar 17 21:30:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/858wmj/can_i_get_some_support_after_a_very_public/
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please flare rant/rave. on mobile.
long story short, st. patrickās day is the day i decided to recover in 2014, so itās a very touchy day for me... and iāve since relapsed hard and dropped weight again. but, iāve also been bingeing for a week and gained 10 lbs per the scale this morning.
anyway. i finally decide, okay, last hurrah... boyfriend and i are getting ice cream and magic shell. and we get to target and both the ice cream and magic shell are out. and secretly, a part of me is happy because i donāt want it. but, i completely broke down crying. feeling like the universe is telling me iām a complete bingey piece of shit and iām fat and gross and thatās why even something simple like magic shell canāt be at target.
i feel absolutely insane.
[Help] How do y'all control yourselves around other people?
/u/papsandwiles [5"4 | 115 | 19.7 | 20F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 20:38:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/858myb/how_do_yall_control_yourselves_around_other_people/
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I wouldn't say I'm a binge eater. When I'm by myself I have really good self control and don't eat. But as soon as I'm around my family or friends, my self control goes out the window.
Today I had a sleepover with my friends and we collectively ate a ton of shit. To top it all off I ate cake at my parents' house later fml. I'm scared I've lost all my progress.
How do you guys get around losing control or feeling obliged to eat around other people?
[Help] Okay purgers.. Talk to me about throat issues
/u/WhatsAMooseSay [5'5 | CW: 202 lbs | -73 lbs | GW: 120 | 27F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 19:29:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8589ij/okay_purgers_talk_to_me_about_throat_issues/
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My throat feels tight, like my glands are really swollen. Hurts to swallow, hurts to talk. Ive been a purger for a good 13+ years but havent ever had a throat issue.
I'm SURE that the purging fucks up my throat. Not sure if this is because my kid has brought home germs (though I dont feel 'sick').
Long story short... Tell me I'm fine and haven't really messed up my throat.
[Discussion] Advice plz
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 17 19:27:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8588yr/advice_plz/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I just wish that food didn't exist
/u/wednesdayschild_ [5'3" | CW: No idea | BMI: Too scared to know | WL: Not enough]
Created: Sat Mar 17 19:13:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8586cg/i_just_wish_that_food_didnt_exist/
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I'm pretty drunk right now so please forgive me if this doesn't make sense. But I just wish that food wasn't a thing. I wish that we could just consume calories at scheduled times and specific amounts and that was that. No food, no tastes, no textures. I love food and I hate it so much at the same time. Don't even get me started on alcoholic beverages. Food tortures me. There's so much of it, so many different kinds and flavors and smells. I hate that I love it so much. If it wasn't for food being so good, it would be so easy to just not eat.
I hate food.
I love food.
I hate myself.
[Help] Eating healthy even while thin has ALWAYS made me depressed
/u/kid_crad
Created: Sat Mar 17 19:08:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8585c8/eating_healthy_even_while_thin_has_always_made_me/
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Iām sorta fat right now. Probably like 132 and Iām 5ā2 and 23. I know how diet works. I used to be thin for years. But I gotta say a life where Iām thin and have to eat salad every day makes me want to genuinely kill myself. I tried it and nothing else could make me happy except good junk food. My life isnāt emptyā I have a busy personal and work life and I do a lot of activities. I did well in school and made a lot of money my first year out. But Iām not happy if I donāt eat junk. Donāt say āoh youāll feel so good!ā Cause I wonāt. Eating healthy and even eating moderation junk food is depressing. Like, it makes me suicidal to not eat junk food every week. If I go more than 7 days not eating out I get super sad. Itās just who I am. I donāt know why. But no āreading a book, running, watching a movie, listening to musicā replaces the feeling of eating pie or something. Iām worried Iām gonna have to turn to drugs to get that high. Itās a body thing. I donāt know whatās wrong with me.
[Rant/Rave] Found photos from when I was at my goal weight... realised something.
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 109 | GW2: 105 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Sat Mar 17 18:44:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8580h2/found_photos_from_when_i_was_at_my_goal_weight/
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...I was pretty. Not my lowest weight but that happy in between point, underweight but not scarily so. Wow, how did I let that go? *why* did I let that go? People randomly used to compliment me - on my face as well as my figure. (rarely get either now) and I'd think they were lying or just saying it because they felt sorry for me, and now I'm feeling almost...guilty? looking back at photos I hated at the time... :(
People just like you more when you are thin. I'm not just talking attraction, although even though men say 'curves' are in, I sure as hell got hit on more when I was smaller. I mean, looking back, I used to get more attention, offered more favours, fussed over more, hell, I'm sure people even thought I was funnier.
Life's easier when you're thinner. It's just nicer. ~~If there was any doubt I was relapsing~~
[Discussion] How often do you weigh yourself?
/u/sadbucket [5'5" | CW 120 | GW1 110 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 18:27:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/857x28/how_often_do_you_weigh_yourself/
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I used to weigh myself every morning but it's proven to be counterproductive. I'm thinking of stepping on the scale once a week (at most).
What do you guys do?
[Rant/Rave] [RAVE] do you believe in ~miracleeees~
/u/elm318
Created: Sat Mar 17 18:27:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/857wyl/rave_do_you_believe_in_miracleeees/
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mom was forcing me to go to this āreally amazingā cupcake place. i was REALLY upset about it because i already turned down mcdonaldās twice and hardeeās once and i was getting frustrated. earlier my sister picked at all my fat and really made me feel like shit (especially after yesterday and the post i made then).
but we get there and theyāve closed fifteen minutes early! the doors were locked! NO CUPCAKES FOR ME!
[Rant/Rave] 1,333 calories. Just... shit.
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 108.6 | 20.1 | -12 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 18:20:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/857vim/1333_calories_just_shit/
---
I had 1,333 calories today and I abso-fucking-lutely LOATHE myself for it. I do not deserve food. And I will never deserve any care and compassion until I'm thin and at this rate, I'll never get there. I walked 11,000 steps today, but that's not punishment enough. No eating for me for at least the next 48 hours. And I'm going to structure out 150-calorie meals at 3-hour intervals for afterwards-- 600 calories over the next 12 hours post-fast-- to ensure a binge day like this doesn't happen again.
Before I developed this eating disorder, I was a cutter. Cutting was so much easier than this. No punishment I could give myself, no possible physical manifestation of emotional pain, was as severe as the agony of binge-restrict cycles. And with so little payoff. I'm honestly tempted to start cutting again and be done with this, but we all know that would just lead to me having TWO ways to self-destruct instead of one.
Please, gods, no more.
[Discussion] Guys. This tastes JUST like sprite. I'm in love š¤¤
/u/hypothermi_a
Created: Sat Mar 17 18:20:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/857vi0/guys_this_tastes_just_like_sprite_im_in_love/
---
https://i.redd.it/358iyr5s0fm01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Black and white thinking and feeling like two entirely different people when binging vs. restricting.
/u/sadbucket [5'5" | CW 120 | GW1 110 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 18:03:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/857rz0/black_and_white_thinking_and_feeling_like_two/
---
Right now, I'm terrified for my future. I'm in my last semester of community college and I'm taking a class that is absolutely kicking my ass. If I fuck this up, my acceptance to my dream transfer college will be rescinded. I often wake up in the morning feeling panicky and like failure is imminent.
I've binged for the past two months and gained ten pounds (from 113 to 123). I've been feeling like a fat, ugly, stupid failure. I feel uncomfortable socializing because I feel people thinking, *God, she's gained weight.* I feel like my boyfriend is grossed out by me. I feel depressed. I have a much harder time studying because I don't feel motivated. Really, I just don't believe in myself.
Restricting, on the other hand, makes me feel so capable. I am motivated. I feel like I can socialize. I feel like I can study. **The sense of controlāwhile an illusionāis absolutely addicting.** I still deeply dislike myself but being me is so much more palatable when I'm restricting.
It's terribly ironic how this mental illness is often the only thing that makes me feel sane.
[Help] I count my calories obsessively
/u/loveforsquirrels
Created: Sat Mar 17 17:47:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/857ohl/i_count_my_calories_obsessively/
---
& I want to make sure I'm not taking in more than I should. I'm 5 feet tall & I'm getting mixed messages from websites, some saying I'm supposed to have as low as 1200 in a day & others as high as 1800 (which can't possibly be true). I've been going by 1200 & staying between 700-1000.
Anyone know or have a reliable resource I could check out?
[Rant/Rave] Had a revelation
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 125 | GW: 116 | 21F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 17:40:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/857n4b/had_a_revelation/
---
Whenever I want to start restricting again, ProED is one of my favorite places to go, and typically I'd make a post about what I'm trying to achieve, what weight I want to hit, or something like that.
But I was told about how when you tell people you're going to do something before you actually do it, you're less likely to achieve it because you already received the satisfaction of talking about it. So I decided to just read posts and only post when I actually achieved something.
AND I FINALLY HAVE. I'm back at 125 after being 135+ for a few months. And omg I'm so happy. I feel like I'm finally with it again.
Now to see if I continue... Or did I just ruin it talking about it? HOPE NOT.
[Rant/Rave] Finally back on track
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sat Mar 17 17:39:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/857mqy/finally_back_on_track/
---
Iāve been feeling good about my body again after months of yoyoing with bingeing and fasting.
The last time I over ate was Sunday and it wasnāt that bad, I went to old spaghetti factory and Taco Bell in the same day- something a normal person would do!
But since then I have been eating omad (which is already normal for me) and letting my bf cook at home for me, which is a huge deal for me bc I exclusively eat out when I eat and I am fairly certain it has to be under my tdee. And I have been working out regularly. AND I am on my way to fasting 70 hours. I am feeling fuckin great.
But I also havenāt weighed myself in over a week, and that was when I was eating a lot and bloated from my bc so I am terrified to weigh myself at the end of my fast (my plan), if I am not back to my low weight I will be devastated
[Discussion] Thereās nothing more satisfying than watching the number on the scale go down. That is all.
/u/User820125 [65ā CW: Fuck GW: over and done.]
Created: Sat Mar 17 17:18:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/857idc/theres_nothing_more_satisfying_than_watching_the/
---
[Rant/Rave] St Patrickās day woes
/u/Renegade_always_was [5'6 | CW 135 | UGW 115 | 21.88 | -25lbs | 20/F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 17:16:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/857ht2/st_patricks_day_woes/
---
I love the spirit of going out and hanging with friends; also the ability to potentially talk to cute girls. But the downside so far has been being forced to eat. My friends wonāt let me drink without eating... and they eat like shit. I hate everything that they have offered. Iām about to just say screw going out because I cannot eat this food.
[Rant/Rave] Iām lonely and heartbroken and I just want to binge tonight
/u/misspennyfoolish
Created: Sat Mar 17 16:41:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8579vi/im_lonely_and_heartbroken_and_i_just_want_to/
---
Iām stuck at home with my verbally abusive and controlling Mom. This guy I caught feelings for texts me now and then and then stops replying for days at a time and never makes plans. Iām always anxious about food and have nothing to show for it as Iām still fat. And Iām not allowed to drink. Itās St Patrickās Day and I Wanted to do something fun and Iām just stuck alone with my self loathing thoughts and binge urges
Just wanted to vent. You all are the nicest and I donāt know what I would do without this sub ā¤ļø hope you are having a better day than me
[Rant/Rave] I canāt believe Iām posting here.
/u/whereismaimind
Created: Sat Mar 17 16:37:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8578u8/i_cant_believe_im_posting_here/
---
Hey guys, Iām mostly just trying to clear my conscience right now/ranting to relieve some things that have been on my mind. But I needed somewhere to go, and some way to get this weight off my chest (no pun intended).
Growing up from the age of 13 (Iām 22 now) Iāve gone on and off with disordered eating. I would binge and gain weight, then heavily restrict and lose weight.
My weight has crept up higher than ever. I was able to lose 20lbs the healthy way (healthy enough anyways). But then gained 10lbs of that back, thanks to binging.
I really need this weight off me. I *need* it off me. But the healthy way just doesnāt feel like an option anymore. I can feel my past disordered thinking creeping back up on me. I hate it, but I also love it. It makes me depressed and excited to lose this weight all at the same time.
So as sad as I am to see that this sub exists, Iām also immensely relieved to have somewhere where people actually understand me.
[Help] Strange symptom while fasting
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sat Mar 17 16:22:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8575ma/strange_symptom_while_fasting/
---
Iām terrible at staying hydrated and I know my electrolytes are off- but do you guys ever experience a pain in the roof of your mouth when youāre fasting?
It almost feels like a sore throat but is more on the top of my mouth. Any one relate?
[Rant/Rave] Feeling super fucked up but I really love my boyfriend
/u/chocoooomuffin [5'9" | CW 153 | BMI 22.7 | GW 123 | -35 lbs | 24F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 15:45:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/856xca/feeling_super_fucked_up_but_i_really_love_my/
---
So my boyfriend and I are moving to my family's weird-ass farm property. It needs a bunch of renovations so we're renting it at a reduced rate from my dad in exchange for my boyfriend doing the renovations. So today he's sanding down the floors to refinish them, and meanwhile I'm supposed to be working from home but instead I felt really shitty from restricting and napped while he sanded, then went with him to get more sandpaper and got a Snickers and some Smartfood popcorn. I ate them and some cookies and purged in the bathroom, and since it's a weird-ass property the bathroom door has a window on it and my boyfriend caught me cleaning up. He came over and hugged me tight, told me he loved me and that it's okay. Like, he's working on our house while I'm purging in the bathroom, and still comes over to comfort me. Ugh I feel like a piece of shit but I love him so much.
[Rant/Rave] He just isnāt attracted to me.....
/u/louloulouise
Created: Sat Mar 17 15:22:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/856s5v/he_just_isnt_attracted_to_me/
---
My boyfriend of over 1.5 years told me last night he isnāt sexually attracted to me. He says heās not sure if he ever was.
He swears itās him and not me, but I canāt help feeling like a fat idiot.
[Tip] Spicy foods keep me full for longer
/u/PhoneWalletSanity
Created: Sat Mar 17 15:15:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/856qqx/spicy_foods_keep_me_full_for_longer/
---
I had two bags of barbecue popchips a few hours ago and was worried I would get hungry later on since chips aren't very filling. However, I can still feel the slight burn of the spice in my stomach which mimics the feeling of being full to me.
I kind of knew about this before but now that I've confirmed it, I plan on using spice to my full advantage and figured I'd share my discovery with you all as well!
[Other] So I Did This Today...
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Sat Mar 17 15:14:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/856qkc/so_i_did_this_today/
---
My boyfriend's mom was all excited about today being St. Patrick's Day today. She was making these giant reuben sandwiches for us all and insisted that I ate before I went to work. My boyfriend brought me the sandwich and I felt terrible because it looked so good and I'm sure his mom spent a lot of time cooking, but I have a super hard time eating things that aren't pre-packaged and labeled. Also, I have been heavily restricting lately.
I took one bite, walked away, cleaned out my cat's litter box, and ended up throwing the sandwich into the trash bag with dirty cat litter so I wouldn't eat it. I feel like a horrible person. š I told her it was delicious.
[Discussion] March 15th - 17th, 2018 Questions of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 14:47:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/856kl4/march_15th_17th_2018_questions_of_the_day/
---
Sorrrrryyyy been preoccupied with the pseudo-bf who is finally in town.
15th: What do you not want to talk about?
16th: What do you want to buy?
17th: What new activity have you tried?
[Help] cinnamon roll substitute?
/u/acosed
Created: Sat Mar 17 13:45:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8565t6/cinnamon_roll_substitute/
---
i fucking love cinnamon rolls but theyre so calorific they make me want to cry. does anyone know any low calorie options? i love halo tops cinnamon roll flavour but id like to see if anyone has any actual cinnamon roll/swirl recipes or brands that do them etc.
[Intro] I guess I'm back after a 3 year + 70 pound recovery (reposting after accidentally posting it from my main account)
/u/LillyWhiteAndFrozen [5'4 | 171.4 | 30.00 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 13:34:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85639d/i_guess_im_back_after_a_3_year_70_pound_recovery/
---
I posted this a few minutes ago but realized I had posted it from my main account, which my boyfriend and some of my friends know.
To make a super long story short, I've been in (mostly) recovery from a restrictive/binge-purge ED that I dealt with from age 13 to age 20. I'm now 24. I've gone from 110 at 5'4 to 175.
I can't deal with this. I've been in therapy for almost two years working on this but I just can't accept life at this weight. I'm overweight. Any doctor would tell me to lose weight, and they have. I've been telling myself for months that this is how I want to live my life, free from worrying and eating whatever I want, but I cannot keep gaining weight.
Last week in therapy, I was talking about how nothing has ever made me feel a rush like losing weight and I realized how true that was. A few days ago I finally went back to the gym for the first time in years. Yesterday, I created a new MyFitnessPal and had a really good first day, well below my total calories goal for the day. I'm going strong so far again today. I don't even know how I feel right now. I'm trying to tell myself this will last and I'll lose the weight and I won't start binging and purging again.
I missed this, honestly. I think I'm glad to be back- that sounds weird but it's all really familiar and comforting.
Anyway, here I am.
TLDR: restricting again after a few years in recovery, hi, I missed you all
[Rant/Rave] Im so sick of being fat
/u/nerne
Created: Sat Mar 17 13:25:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85616f/im_so_sick_of_being_fat/
---
[removed]
[Intro] I guess I'm back after a 3 year + 70 pound recovery.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 17 13:20:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/856012/i_guess_im_back_after_a_3_year_70_pound_recovery/
---
[deleted]
[Help] My roommate is making comments to hurt me and I want to get it out of my head.
/u/kid_crad
Created: Sat Mar 17 12:24:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/855ltu/my_roommate_is_making_comments_to_hurt_me_and_i/
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My roommate is an asshole. Heās a guy nobody likes in my friend circle but simply tolerate. He has been like cancer to meā extremely toxic, bullying, found out I had anorexia and BeD and now comments passive aggressively on what I eat. A few days ago I went through a 4 pack of muffins and a six pack of bread in 3 days. He passive aggressively said āwow, so healthy eating isnāt going so good, huh? I consider myself the healthiest eater among our friends...ā like he is an 8th grader or something. I want to get what he said out of my head and also punish him but I donāt know how to punish him. I could tell everyone what an asshole he is. He doesnāt have any dirt on me other than times I falsely agreed with him that āoh wow that must have been hard friend X did that to you... *eyeroll* yeah I can see how X is narcissistic.ā
I want to see him suffer immediately. What can I do?
[Discussion] adderall
/u/codenamedeadkid
Created: Sat Mar 17 12:14:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/855j6r/adderall/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I don't want to die from this.
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | high | large | Gender: death]
Created: Sat Mar 17 12:11:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/855in1/i_dont_want_to_die_from_this/
---
I'm trying to stop b/p and c/s but it is hard. How do you minimize the damage from c/s?
I. Can't stop either of them
[Other] Small win
/u/xremembertobreathex
Created: Sat Mar 17 12:08:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/855hsn/small_win/
---
I went to visit the hospital in London about the possibility of going day patient.
Frankly they scared the shit out of me and said I had to go inpatient. Seriously not impressed at that being dumped on me.
However, one good thing that came out of it it is that today I woke up with a new sense of determination to get my life sorted.
Asked my boy for a hammer....and took it to the fucking scales.
Right now having an "ahhhhh" what have I done. But....if I don't know what I weigh I don't know if I'm gaining (well...that's how my theory goes ^_^)
[Discussion] God bless diet anything
/u/nerne
Created: Sat Mar 17 11:21:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8556fo/god_bless_diet_anything/
---
Diet coke, pepsi max, diet A&W root beer šššš whatās your fav diet drink?
[Rant/Rave] I keep postponing surgery because I'm afraid of my mother finding out my true weight
/u/CompetitiveAttack
Created: Sat Mar 17 11:12:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/855440/i_keep_postponing_surgery_because_im_afraid_of_my/
---
I'm getting a nose job but I keep postponing the surgery because my mother who is the main reason I have an ED in the first place will be there, and I'm afraid of her finding out my true weight (which is some 20 lbs north of what I tell her I weigh). This is the second time I've cancelled on the surgeon. What is wrong with me? I keep trying to catch up with my dieting and be that weight when they put it on my file, but the more I think about it the more I binge and I think I'm actually GAINING now. Horror.
[Help] Fasting with a SO?
/u/Douchebagette
Created: Sat Mar 17 10:38:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/854vq2/fasting_with_a_so/
---
I really miss fasting. I used to do them all the time but now that my Partner is getting obsessive about my health weight, there's no way I can do it.
Those if you with partners how do you manage this? I don't want to hide things from her but I don't want to be held back from things I want to do.
[Goal] First goal in forever
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 17 10:36:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/854ve9/first_goal_in_forever/
---
[deleted]
[Help] 15lbs till my first GW. Help!
/u/bronte__
Created: Sat Mar 17 10:33:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/854um0/15lbs_till_my_first_gw_help/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] He just would NOT stop talking about my size
/u/Grymdolin [5'3 | CW110.8 | 20.17 | GW 90 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 10:27:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/854t7g/he_just_would_not_stop_talking_about_my_size/
---
Today my work crush just would not stop talking about how tiny he thinks I am! We sell clothes and he and a couple other coworkers were thinking of buying a few things. I heard him mention that I would probably need a "double extra small"! I overheard him call me tiny a few times throughout the day, and then later we joked about how I'd be easy to kidnap because I'm "as light as a feather"!
!!!!!!!
Definitely fueled the 36 hour fast I was in the middle of lol
[Rant/Rave] Yāall....(TMI)
/u/ThisIsNotGumpy [5'2 | 97 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 08:31:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8542er/yalltmi/
---
[removed]
[Help] I don't deserve it.
/u/DesiignedTheFuture [In recovery]
Created: Sat Mar 17 08:24:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8540wj/i_dont_deserve_it/
---
Ok so I've been in recovery for a few weeks and it's been pretty good with some slip ups here and there.
But my main issue is that every time I miss a meal time on the plan it just gets easier for me to rationalise eating less and less. Because I've already missed one meal, I might as well miss the rest of the day right? And also my family aren't really on my neck about it, so it's not that hard to do. How do you manage to tell yourself, "yes I deserve to eat this" when everything else in your body is fighting you?
[Rant/Rave] College student struggling with binge eating - small victory of the day!
/u/whereismytofu
Created: Sat Mar 17 07:33:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/853qu7/college_student_struggling_with_binge_eating/
---
I've been hooked in a vicious cycle of binge eating for the past three months. After waking up 30 minutes ago, I could feel the urge creeping through. I hated it. I got up, dressed, and headed for the dining hall. However, unlike previous weeks where I would stay at the dining hall for two hours, munching on french toasts, muffins, cookies, frosted cereal, ice cream, and waffles, this week I brought a container with me. I went straight to the fruit station, scooped up three pieces of pineapples and three pieces of cantaloupe. Went to the egg station and got myself a serving of scrambled eggs. After doing that, I left immediately. I almost ran back to my dorm for fear that I might change my mind and go to the waffle/cookie/brownie station like I'd always used to.
I'm back at the dorm now and am feeling pretty full (I washed down my sweet cravings with a mix of Crystal Light and water - I know it's not the best for me, but right now that trumps any binge eating episode that might have happened).
First post and first mini victory.
Thank you :)
[Discussion] Pot smokers how do you beat the munchies?
/u/17iveyal
Created: Sat Mar 17 06:46:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/853ik0/pot_smokers_how_do_you_beat_the_munchies/
---
I am someone dealing with an ED that enjoys smoking with my boyfriend every once in awhile. I am vegan so I eat very healthy and obviously count calories. But when I am high all I want to do is eat! Obviously my choices in my home aren't the worst options when it comes to food. But I want it all!! Suggestions?
[Goal] I reached my original longstanding goal weight
/u/Suusss [| 5'6 | 143 / 130 / 120 / 117 \\ 115 \\ 111 \\ 109]
Created: Sat Mar 17 06:35:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/853gph/i_reached_my_original_longstanding_goal_weight/
---
114.8, under my GW by .2.
I'm standing nude leaning into my laptop to type this. I'm happy.
Yay. It took three years. Ive been here for pretty much that long w other accounts.Time to drink a LOT because my uni wakes up at 8am to drink for 11... celebration x
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! March 17, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 17 06:11:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/853csb/stupid_questions_saturday_march_17_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for March 17, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 17, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 17 06:10:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/853cp8/daily_food_diary_march_17_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 17, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] What do diet pills do to your body?
/u/figglygiggly
Created: Sat Mar 17 05:55:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/853a65/what_do_diet_pills_do_to_your_body/
---
[removed]
[Help] It's gone from disordered eating to restrictive anorexia.
/u/Lunnaris [5' | CW: 134,4 | UGW: 110,2 | 24F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 05:26:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/853648/its_gone_from_disordered_eating_to_restrictive/
---
I don't eat anymore. I mean, I do. A sandwich a day. Or three small cookies. And then I feel SO hungry that I cook something delicious. And in the process I get so anxious that I end up freezing the results.
I'm in two different diet pills atm.
I can't stop this, and I don't want to.
A few weeks back I had to spent the night at the hospital because I was suicidal and while talking to the doctor I was too anxious so I told her everything. So in my report it talks about my "problems with food and denial to eat". That's what my psychiatrist is gonna talk to me about on our appointment the 6th. But I'm going to lie. I'm still chubby, there's no way for them to find out...
[Help] Looking for people with DID
/u/ElectricalDeer87 [5' 7.5" | 148.1lbs | -4 | Goal: 95 lbs | BMI 22.4 | 16F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 04:11:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/852w44/looking_for_people_with_did/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] trying for a 7 day fast, give me your tips!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 17 02:33:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/852j8q/trying_for_a_7_day_fast_give_me_your_tips/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Challenge Accepted?
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 01:51:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/852dw7/challenge_accepted/
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[removed]
Literally how is this possible?? Warning: gross...
/u/questions_anonymous [5'6.5" | 114 | 18.1 | -50 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 17 01:37:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/852byc/literally_how_is_this_possible_warning_gross/
---
I swear my digestive tract just like selectively shuts down in protest. So I ate dinner around 6:30 and here I am at about 3:30am unable to sleep because I feel so full and bloated and nasty, so in a fit of desperation I try to purge, and recognizable chunks of food come up - like ??? How has food just been sitting in my stomach for literally 9 hours unchanged?? I mean I ate a big dinner, but seriously, wtf.
I canāt tell if coworkers/friends are trying to sabotage me
/u/insect_peece
Created: Sat Mar 17 00:45:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8524r1/i_cant_tell_if_coworkersfriends_are_trying_to/
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On January 1 I weighed in at 205 lbs, the heaviest I have ever been. Since then I have been calorie restricting, and on occasion binging (I lose control as soon as the work week is over, I tend to graze out of laziness and not being preoccupied by work and meetings).
I have lost 17 lbs and itās starting to show. My clothes are becoming noticeably looser. I plan on losing more weight.
I donāt know if itās the 11:11 effect but I have noticed a coworker I eat lunch with has been going out of her way to purchase extra sweets and either encouraging me to split something like a brownie or today she bought me an entire cookie. She also goes out of her way to talk or ask me about exercise. Or will comment on my food choices and go, oh WOW youāre so HEALTHY! I feel like she is trying to get me to admit to dieting. I dread lunching with her and am going to make an effort to deflect her lunch advances going forward.
Another friend of mine brought up the fact that she read a book that features a woman with an eating disorder, and how it was triggering for her. I did my best to push the conversation away from the topic and it felt awkward.
Another coworker brought up someone she knew that had an ED. Again, very randomly.
I have an ED for sure ā Iāve struggled with binging and purging and anxiety/depression as long as I remember. But I am also annoyed that people just... bring this stuff up. I donāt know if I am reading too much into it so I guess I want to ask any of you if you have noticed these sorts of microaggressions.
I am also very shy and anxious. I was on the r/loseit board and some peopleās advice is kind of horrible? Theyāre like, tell them that you donāt take advice from people who are overweight! I just do not have the capacity to be that rude or forward.
Anyway, just sort of ranting but also would like to hear how some of you all cope. Or just tell me itās all in my head/I am over-analyzing, which is a possibility since all I can really think about these days is MFP, calories, scales...
[Discussion] Medication on full stomach?
/u/pointypoke
Created: Sat Mar 17 00:23:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8521nx/medication_on_full_stomach/
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I am currently on a medication where I have to take it on a full stomach and with a fatty meal. Otherwise you get extremely nauseas/sick, and the meds will lose effect and donāt work as well. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?
[Discussion] Whatās the most weight you have lost in a week? How did you do it?
/u/pointypoke
Created: Fri Mar 16 23:58:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/851xww/whats_the_most_weight_you_have_lost_in_a_week_how/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone have "safe" clothes?
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: š³ 100lbs]
Created: Fri Mar 16 23:53:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/851x6l/does_anyone_have_safe_clothes/
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I can't wear blue jeans because I have an irrational fear of looking big. Blue specifically. Black or dark grey is apparently OK? And shorts, except for this one particular pair that has HUUUUUUGE pockets (how could I resist???). And I can't do oversize tops or leggings unless I"m under 100lbs. And I'm not allowed to wear tight shirts or crop tops or low neck shirts unless I can see ribs through my boobs (despite boobs not even being on display???). And don't even talk to me about skirts and dresses.
Apparently normal people don't do this???
[Rant/Rave] [RANT] lol do you ever just feel disappointment right in your gut and behind your eyes
/u/elm318
Created: Fri Mar 16 23:47:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/851w7x/rant_lol_do_you_ever_just_feel_disappointment/
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hey guys. so part of this is ED related and part isnāt. Iāll start with the ed related one first:
today, i thought i looked good. i usually do winged eyeliner and stuff but today i did my eyeshadow and curled my hair and wore my favorite dress that minimizes my gross stomach and emphasizes my butt and I felt attractive for once. also, i got my nails done yesterday. heck yeah.
went to visit my papaw in the nursing home. first he makes a rude comment about my dress being too short and then he says āHow much weight have you gained?ā Right in front of my naturally rail thin sister. She laughed and laughed. I wanted to like... actually die. I drove straight to the store and now iām EC stacking.
ed unrelated:
thereās this guy. and god, he is so good. he is just so. his smile. iāve never liked someoneās smile? and heās smart. and heās unlike any dude iāve ever met. listen, iāve been through a lot. stuff thatās really twisted i wonāt go into - but emotionally, iām a little messed up, and trusting people is hard. sex is a ātrusting a personā thing with me. I only do it with people that i care about. Because i hate being held or touched like iām special and like i matter when, in the grand scheme of things to a person, i actually donāt. nothing really hurts me more.
i thought i was really vibing with this guy, weāve been talking and Hanging Out for a few months, and i wasnāt hoping for anything Official, but i was hoping to matter. you know? i donāt know. i feel so stupid.
today, basically, i learned that he isnāt attached to me, and wonāt be, because heās had to uproot for jobs and life and shit so many times.
and... yeah. i feel used. i shouldnāt, i never expressed that sex was important to me in that kind of way. or that hanging out the way we do mattered to me. itās just... it figures. i am a waste of space. aaaand iām really sad.
thanks for listening
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else get anxious about the weight on their license?
/u/magnolias_on_film
Created: Fri Mar 16 23:10:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/851q17/does_anyone_else_get_anxious_about_the_weight_on/
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Iām turning 21 soon and I wonāt be able to make it to the BMV on my birthday so I got my license updated now. When I got my temps (waaaay back when I was 17) I weighed 150/160ish. I gained 20 lbs over the course of my senior year of HS and when I got my license when I turned 18 I lied and said I was still 150. When I got my Real Adult License a few days ago, I got super anxious when the lady was like āis your height and weight still correctā and I was like yes even though she and I both damn well knew iām closer to 200 pounds than 150 pounds
Anyway am I totally crazy or has someone else experienced this
[Rant/Rave] 10 pounds in 3 weeks
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9 | CW155.8 | GW120 | BMIidk | 20F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 23:07:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/851pla/10_pounds_in_3_weeks/
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You know that image of Lisa Simpson where she's looking up at Marge from the table in utter mystification and submission? That's me with my binge self. I watch that fat bitch eat a whole 12-inch sausage pizza and chase it with sleeves of oreos and almond milk and it's only fascinating because that's not me. I don't exist! I don't know what oreos taste like, but it's got to be exquisite to eat 33 of them. I get to watch her lie to her boyfriend less than 2 weeks from their anniversary about premeditated plans when she, he and I know damn well I don't have any fucking friends. It's like watching the worst sitcom in first person.
I set up my mirror by my bed so I could watch myself while I eat but when I make eye contact, I can't connect my actions with myself. I can't stop the person I see from gorging themselves and undoing weeks of progress every time. If I lose restriction, I lose the only sense of control I can 100% feel, but I can't ever get it back before putting back on what I get rid of. I hate this, and I'm scared every time about when I'll be able to restrict again.
Happy st Patrick's, gang.i love u
[Help] Took some Bronkaid at 9 pm - gotta wake up at 4 am. Am I going to be too wired to get any decent sleep after this?
/u/blood-n-caffiene
Created: Fri Mar 16 22:44:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/851li3/took_some_bronkaid_at_9_pm_gotta_wake_up_at_4_am/
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Yeah, Iāve been trying to curb my urge to binge, and Iāve also been drinking, which only fuels my urge to binge, so Iām asking all of yāall who regularly fuck with the EC stack- am I going to be able to sleep when I have such an early call tomorrow? I have a high tolerance to caffeine, like I can go to sleep after a cup of coffee, but idk about this shit.
[Rant/Rave] I don't want to get better (but man I wish I did)
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80lbs | 15.1 | -23lbs | f]
Created: Fri Mar 16 22:33:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/851jpp/i_dont_want_to_get_better_but_man_i_wish_i_did/
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If i look around myself at my life, i find i'm discontent. I live in the same small town in which I was born, in a house my grandmother pays for because my mother can't take care of herself either, I'm flunking our if high school, i can't drive, i have like 0.5 IRL friends, and, if i look into myself I find only more discontent. I'm lazy and dull and really it's no shock i'm lonely.
The only interesting aspect of my life is my eating disorder. Nothing entertains me but binging, be it on food or alcohol or other substances.
My eating disorder is my best friend and my favorite hobby. I love it and it feels like it loves me. It's as toxic as any of my other relationships, but it's mine, and it fills the spaces in me I can't otherwise occupy.
I don't want to give it up. I never have. There have been times i've wished I wanted to, and times I tried to even though it felt like saying goodbye to a lover you'll never see again, but i have never, ever, wanted to stop.
There is nothing else in my life I can see and touch that makes me so happy as being underweight. It's sick and it's fucked up but i am addicted to my bones.
I've reached a point where i'm physically reliant on medication to regulate my heart. It works. I'm stable. But despite the fact that i've found this sort of balance (don't fix it if it ain't broke, right?) everyone around me (most concerningly, my doctor) wants me to stop.
I don't like worrying my family. I don't like risking my freedom. I don't like being so cold in the winter that my nails turn blue. I don't like spending every spare penny on food. But it's all i've got.
I'm in an abusive relationship with myself and I don't want to break it off.
Pain, and hurt, and chasing oblivion, are things i've grown terribly accustomed to.
And i'm just too comfy to climb out of the hole i've dug.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling Bad at a Sleepover
/u/bpdix
Created: Fri Mar 16 21:06:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8512xb/feeling_bad_at_a_sleepover/
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i went to a friends house to sleep over tonight and im going to tomorrow night as well and we ordered a pizza and i literally ate the entirety of the pizza and a bunch of her other food in the kitchen, it was about 2100 calories in total
now im in bed doing exercises to desperately burn any of it off that i can (definitely cant purge here, going to TRY to fast throughout all of tomorrow because then itll be as if i ate about 1050 just 2 days in a row which is still a lot but more doable) and i just spent 10 minutes hiding in the bathroom exercising in place to burn as much as i could without it seeming suspicious that i was in there forever
please reassure me itll be alright, im so scared im going to gain from this and i know i definitely will if i dont burn anything or if i eat tomorrow
[Tip] PSA: There is a desktop version of peach
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | CW oops | GW 93lbs | š inconceivable ]
Created: Fri Mar 16 19:53:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/850ns1/psa_there_is_a_desktop_version_of_peach/
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Just type "nectarine.rocks" into your search bar, and you'll get there! I don't know if this is common knowledge, but I just found out and I actually really like the desktop layout.
Anyways, I hope everyone is having a bearable day ā¤ļø
[Rant/Rave] I fucked up today
/u/katiecski
Created: Fri Mar 16 19:38:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/850kvv/i_fucked_up_today/
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I was doing well today until my mother asked if I wanted any food from burger king. I got a something just so she wouldn't be suspicious, 100% planning to throw it out. Well, I didn't. I ate it. It's gone. Inside me. I'm so nasty. The internet said I had about 800 calories but I think it's always more in reality. Plus the oatmeal from earlier. It totally Couldve been worse but I'm still mad at myself:/
[Rant/Rave] i feel like my eating disorder is my only friend lol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 16 19:21:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/850hhk/i_feel_like_my_eating_disorder_is_my_only_friend/
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[deleted]
I'm recovering (sorta)
/u/TheGirlOnTheCorner [5'8" | 125 lbs | 19% | 14 yr| Female]
Created: Fri Mar 16 19:01:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/850d8h/im_recovering_sorta/
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I've been depressed and anxious for the majority of my life and with that has come anorexia and bulimia. The bulimia was short-lived, but I've struggled with anorexia on and off for years now.
It helps if I don't eat anything too fattening, but sometimes when my mom orders pizza or something, she'll get really pissed if I don't eat it.
Do you guys have any good excuses other than the typical "I don't feel well" or "I already ate" things?
Don't suggest I just talk to her about it because I'm sorry to say that won't work.
Hi everyone!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 16 18:46:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8509wu/hi_everyone/
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[deleted]
[Help] I've been resisting the cookies in the kitchen for almost an hour, can I get some motivational quotes or reassurances to help me get through the evening?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 16 18:35:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8507ij/ive_been_resisting_the_cookies_in_the_kitchen_for/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Squishy thighs
/u/kaelidoscope [5'0 | CW 100.8 | GW: 90 | 20.73 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 18:20:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/85048n/squishy_thighs/
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Hello friends. I wanted to start a discussion on stubborn inner thigh fat. My legs are okay for the most part, they're pretty proportional to the rest of my body, and doing squats has really helped in toning my outer thighs as well as my butt. Unfortunately, my inner thighs are still soft squishy pillows of fat. What exercises do you guys do to tone the muscle or get it to be even marginally less squish?
I had a very bingey stressful week and gained too much to be humanly possible. ED brain convincing me it is.
/u/manateens [5'4 20F | 150 / UGW 98 | BMI27]
Created: Fri Mar 16 18:09:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8501no/i_had_a_very_bingey_stressful_week_and_gained_too/
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Don't get me wrong I ate like shit and probably did gain a solid 2# but 11 doesn't seem possible. I didn't poo at all so I took some lax and thought that'd help and have been water fasting/pushing fluids for 36 hours now and it hasn't moved at all. Pls god kill me
I ate at my TDEE for 6 days if restaurant calculators are correct, and even if they're off they're not 11 pounds worth off. But now I am just gonna fast until the number lowers again because fuck me right
[Help] Purged a lot of stomach acid. Now the back of my throat hurts. Help?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 16 17:59:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84zzkn/purged_a_lot_of_stomach_acid_now_the_back_of_my/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Old pictures
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 16 17:31:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ztfv/old_pictures/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ztfv/old_pictures/
[Goal] Going to restrict hard as soon as I'm done my half marathon
/u/chocoooomuffin [5'9" | CW 153 | BMI 22.7 | GW 123 | -35 lbs | 24F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 16:48:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84zjma/going_to_restrict_hard_as_soon_as_im_done_my_half/
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So I picked up running last October since I was trying to sort of be normal about losing weight (I lost like 15-20 pounds through restricting, but I started dating someone and didn't want to be super weird about food/exercise around him, ended up losing about 10 more pounds slowly) and decided to run a half marathon. It's in a week and once I'm done I'm so excited to just start restricting again. Right now my stomach is a bottomless pit since I'm running so much, so I just end up eating at/above maintenance most days. I like being a little more free around food but I'm honestly so excited to have this constant need to eat go away so I can restrict properly. I wish I could run 8 miles without needing to eat 2800 calories back, but sadly I just can't do it. My plan is to do yoga every morning, fruit for breakfast, salad for lunch, kombucha for a snack, and then a small portion of dinner with my boyfriend. I want to lose like 20 more pounds :) Wish me luck!!
[Rant/Rave] My pet fucking peeve is when people tell me I'm not "healthy" [rant]
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | fat | too high | Ugw: 7 lb 3 oz | 20f ]
Created: Fri Mar 16 16:35:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84zgid/my_pet_fucking_peeve_is_when_people_tell_me_im/
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I fucking know already!!!
My mom just talked at me for ten fucking minutes about how unhealthy I am because I didn't eat breakfast. She went on and on about getting the nutrients I need and etc. She talked about how unhealthy my eating habits are and how I need to do better because I'm not normal.... all while she ate a giant fucking bowl of chips. As she walked around the kitchen absentmindedly eating anything she could get her hands on and then calliing my brother healthy for eating spaghetti with about 900 calories worth of cheese on it. At least I'll fucking admit I'm not healthy because I am aware of my actions. I'm not policing others while making bad choices because I'm not a fucking hypocrite, and I don't tell people what to eat while I'm eating 750 calories worth of garbage that I find. Fuck people who keep telling me shit with no self awareness for themselves in tired of interacting.
I was so close to recovering...but I'm here again.
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | high | large | Gender: death]
Created: Fri Mar 16 16:20:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84zcus/i_was_so_close_to_recoveringbut_im_here_again/
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A month ago, a doctor recommended I go to some ED clinic I can't afford. I downloaded a recovery workbook recommended here and I only purged once after that.
But. I'm here again for so many reasons.
1. Not knowing how many calories I'm eating makes me anxious (my school isn't providing nutrition info anymore because it's spring break).
2. Why did my friend seem excited to see me and then walked past my table and sit by himself?
3. I had a 150 cal limit for lunch. I broke it.
Does it matter? Time is a flat circle. I will always be here.
[Other] body dysmorphia got me like...
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.5 | 19.55/19.32 | GW: 57 | UGW: <55 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 16:09:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84z9ut/body_dysmorphia_got_me_like/
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https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-09/15/11/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane01/anigif_sub-buzz-2407-1473952171-1.gif?downsize=715:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto
[Rant/Rave] i'm so tired. i want to get back on track
/u/archerofdawn [154cm | SW 164 | CW 146 | GW 88 | NB]
Created: Fri Mar 16 15:30:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84z03h/im_so_tired_i_want_to_get_back_on_track/
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i've been eating really terribly (200cal-300cal above my tdee, which doesn't seem so bad when you're trying to justify eating more, but it ADDS UP) and honestly i think seeing my grad photos just....made me realize how terrible i actually look. i'm a fucking moon. i go out like that? in public? how the fuck dare i??
and the worst thing is for me to lose a pound a week i'd need to eat 900 calories. 900!! THAT'S MORE THAN ENOUGH! and fucking yet!!
i want to get back on track. i want to be held accountable, even if by my own shame. i want to post back here. i need to remember that i can get past this.
[Discussion] DAE get brain fog when they start eating normally again?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 15:26:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84yz7l/dae_get_brain_fog_when_they_start_eating_normally/
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Iāve started eating at or slightly over (eek!) my TDEE the past few weeks and Iāve noticed that cognitively, Iāve become an absolute mess. My reasoning is terrible and slow, I canāt focus, and I lose things everywhere. Does anyone else get this or is it a me problem?
[Help] My first 24 hour fast!
/u/scribbledoll [5'0'' | 140 |Overweight | IDK | Girl? Ish?]
Created: Fri Mar 16 15:26:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84yz1x/my_first_24_hour_fast/
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[removed]
[Help] B/P 3 times yesterday but ended up losing 2 pounds since I last weighed myself a couple of days ago
/u/txhsu
Created: Fri Mar 16 15:05:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ytuv/bp_3_times_yesterday_but_ended_up_losing_2_pounds/
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[removed]
[Discussion] On average, how many calories a day can you eat before you feel āguiltyā?
/u/dreamedotcom
Created: Fri Mar 16 14:50:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84yps2/on_average_how_many_calories_a_day_can_you_eat/
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Just wondering, as Iām noticing as my ED developed, I am feeling more and more guilty with any food consumption. I try to stay under 500 cals but normally eat about 600 and feel like Iāve failed. I even find my self purging salads (wtf right?) or yesterday wanting to purge sugar free jello, just bc I didnāt want it in my stomach, and potentially messing up my weight by water weight.
So what is your daily calorie goal and at what number do you feel guilty?
[Discussion] Onederland
/u/WhatsAMooseSay [5'5 | CW: 202 lbs | -73 lbs | GW: 120 | 27F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 14:27:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84yjje/onederland/
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[removed]
[Discussion] High carb diet experiences/results?
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 109 | GW2: 105 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Fri Mar 16 14:26:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84yj4q/high_carb_diet_experiencesresults/
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After a streak of of weeks doing *so* well meeting my goals, a combination of extreme PMS cravings + two weeks of heavy weekends and hangovers has definitely thrown me off my no binge streak and I'm sure caused me to gain (definitely not going to cry rn). It's caused me to think though, about how effortlessly I seemed to be able to maintain my lowest weight for over a year and what my habits were.
Without fail I would drink around 2litres of water a day and as for my diet, I ate no eggs, meat, dairy (fish a couple of times a week) and stuck to a routine of:
* 1/3 oats with soy milk for breakfast every single day, often with some fruit like a pear or melon or a teaspoon of coconut oil
* an apple and either a peanut butter sandwich or almonds or a cereal bar for lunch
* a vegan meal (lots of plant/unprocessed grain carbs) or piece of fish and veg for tea
* a hell of a lot of fruit, pretty much whenever I wanted it (got the worst acid reflux that year lol)
...so I was stil getting an adequate amount of healthy plant fats as well as fish too.
It was only after incorporating more non vegan foods into my diet that I gained (and started binging / hating myself HARD) but honestly, I managed to maintain around 90-95lbs like this for over a year.
The whole 'carbs are evil' keto thing made me kind of scared of them this time around but now I'm wondering why? I lost so much weight and had few binge urges eating like this... I think I'm going to give it another shot, this time intentionally.
Every time I've tried keto it's ended *badly* with me never feeling satisfied, I'm talking mega binges. I'm starting to think that although obese men may preach it, perhaps for young women it really isn't the magic cure reddit seems to paint it as.
Anyone else had success with a higher carb diet?
=
[Other] The longer I fast, the longer I want to.
/u/dortuh
Created: Fri Mar 16 14:23:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84yi6w/the_longer_i_fast_the_longer_i_want_to/
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I'm currently at 2 days and 16 hrs. I was going to eat today, but then decided I want to go 3 days.
My food is gonna go bad. I'm telling myself I will eat it at 72 hours, but I know I'm not going to want to.
I've never even gone 2 days before. I usually feel like I'm gonna die at 24 hours. But this time around I feel so great I don't want to eat ever again.
I know I should eat tonight, cause I should probably build up to longer fasts instead of just quitting food cold turkey like this. But I really don't want to... I don't even know how to properly reintroduce food after a long fast. I hate liquid food like soup.
How long can I reasonably fast without having problems? Cause I like doing it.
The biggest thing I'm afraid of is if I eat tonight, I'm gonna blow up and look fat tomorrow and the scale is gonna say I'm fat again.
Edit: broke the fast right at 72 hours. Had some fruit. Now I'm tired.
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself so much and I want to die
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 16 14:22:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84yi39/i_hate_myself_so_much_and_i_want_to_die/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Iām caught.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 16 14:05:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ydal/im_caught/
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[deleted]
[Other] Starting to forget that most people eat breakfast...
/u/OrneryMushroom [5'7" | SW:173.6 | CW:153.6 | GW:130 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 13:27:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84y3f8/starting_to_forget_that_most_people_eat_breakfast/
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I didnāt realize how much my mindset has started to change until today and it kind of freaked me out.
My class got a 10 minute break during lecture and like half left to grab food and pretty much everyone was complaining about being hungry or hangry. I just looked at the clock and thought ābut itās not even 12?ā because I do the 16:8 fasting and only eat from 12-8, and āwell yeah me too, all the time, but Iām not complaining...ā
Then I took a second and realized a few months ago I was one of those people and every break I would be hungry and be snacking on something. It was always pretty healthy, but I was always eating. Itās weird how fast your mindset can change...
[Other] EC Stack: Day 2
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Fri Mar 16 12:46:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84xs9c/ec_stack_day_2/
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Yesterday, I EC stacked twice and was able to eat below my TDEE for the first time in over a week. This is AMAZING. I caved and ate a brownie because my boyfriend was kind enough to make me some, but not eating all day beforehand made it ok.
I have to work in about an hour and a half and I just took another EC stack. I also ate a quest bar so there's at least something in my stomach. I am so determined to drop below 90 lbs by the end of April and I think this will be a useful aid for me to achieve my goal.
As far as side effects go, I've felt: slight shakiness, euphoria, lots of energy (I did ab workouts and it was so easy for once!), feeling hot and cold at the same time, and dry mouth. I don't plan on becoming dependant on the EC stacks, but caffeine alone wasn't cutting it for me.
HUGE THANK YOU to everyone on this sub and everyone who gave me advice and recommendations the other day. You all are strong, amazing people. š
[Discussion] Weight gain from yoga?
/u/blerg1234567
Created: Fri Mar 16 12:18:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84xk5t/weight_gain_from_yoga/
---
Iām annoyed, yāall.
Iāve been high restricting for a while (between 1000 and 1500 depending on the day), but recently have been staying pretty hard at 1200. Iāve been seeing a therapist and am trying to equalize and hate myself less.... I know, crazy.
So I started doing Yoga with Adriene videos every day. My weight loss has totally stalled, and has even crept up slightly.
Thereās no way Iām gaining muscle (Iām on day eight I believe)... has anyone else had this? Should I try to cut to 1000 firm?
[Other] i need to get this off my chest (non ed)
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | "maintaining" | 22f]
Created: Fri Mar 16 12:13:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84xiwn/i_need_to_get_this_off_my_chest_non_ed/
---
edit: this post is about dubious sexual consent fyi
i met up with my ex last night at a bar to discuss a trip that we were supposed to go on (planned it before we broke up). i drank 2 drinks on an empty stomach, after months of not drinking liquor, and don't remember leaving the bar. i came to in the bathroom in his apartment, throwing up, and then again in his bed, naked, with him touching me. a few times i said "stop" and he would before trying again a few minutes laterāeventually i guess that i was visibly really uncomfortable and kept saying "stop" and he did. i know that he crossed a line but i can't stop blaming myself for putting myself in that situation by drinking. i'm so scared of telling my current partner because i'm worried that it will only come across as me being unfaithful. sorry, i know this is not ed related at all and i will delete it if it shouldn't be posted here. i just needed to get this off my chest. i feel so horrible and guilty and ashamed.
[Rant/Rave] I just want to get in my car and drive away. But I can't.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 16 11:54:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84xdda/i_just_want_to_get_in_my_car_and_drive_away_but_i/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Feel like my bf is encouraging me
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Mar 16 11:42:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84xa7e/feel_like_my_bf_is_encouraging_me/
---
He knows I struggle with food a lot and I know it concerns him, and I feel bad even saying this bc I know he only wants to help but damn I have been getting bad again (and by that I mean good bc Iāve been restricting again) and he doesnāt seem to notice/think my habits are an issue.
He has encouraged me to start working out, which I expressed I will take to the extreme and Iāve had issues in the past (not that big of a deal)
I told him I want to eat healthy (Iāve been eating our every day and bingeing) so he will cook me dinner every night- usually some sort of meat and veggies and portioned well so I know it canāt be over like 800 cals if that. He knows this is the only meal Iāll eat all day.
But the biggest one is he knows I donāt eat fri-sun and wonāt eat if Iām not with him. So he knows I go 72 hours without eating and doesnāt seem to have an issue with it.
Maybe he just doesnāt want to push me too much? Or doesnāt know how to help? He really is amazing so I feel bad thinking negatively like this. Itās just been fucking w me a little bit- like maybe Iām not even that bad and I need to be more extreme?
ALSO I SURPRISED HIM WITH A LOAF OF BREAD LAST NIGHT BC HE LOVES BREAD AND HE ATE THE WHOLE FUCKING LOAF IN FRONT OF ME AND SMOTHERED HALF OF IT IN PB AND HONESTLY I WAS SO FUCKING JEALOUS/ANGRY. like why canāt I eat like that š
[Help] I'm fucked, or alternatively, chicken alfredo from scratch
/u/wednesdayschild_ [5'3" | CW: No idea | BMI: Too scared to know | WL: Not enough]
Created: Fri Mar 16 11:38:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84x94h/im_fucked_or_alternatively_chicken_alfredo_from/
---
My roommate is planning on making chicken alfredo from scratch sometime within the next week and I am absolutely terrified. I'm hoping she'll just forget about making it altogether. I have no idea what I'll do. I can't eat that. I can't. I don't know how I can get out of this. She wants it to be a group dinner with our other roommates and make a big production out of it where we all help cook, eat together, and clean up together. I don't know how I'll get through this, especially since I'm beginning to struggle with eating in front of other people. I'm fucked.
[Tip] Purge harm reduction tip I wanted to share~
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 16 11:29:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84x6uj/purge_harm_reduction_tip_i_wanted_to_share/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Looking for fitbit friends
/u/ED2134 [168cm | fat | female| -10kg]
Created: Fri Mar 16 10:47:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84wviz/looking_for_fitbit_friends/
---
Hey I have been gone for a while but i am back ;)
I know we had a few threads about fitbit friends in the past, but i feel like a creep adding people on fitbit whoo posted their info a month (or even longer) ago.
Having some people on fitbit might keep me accountable.
If anybody is interessted pm me or comment your info.
( I am not posting my fitbit email here, because it contains my full name ;) )
[Other] DAOE hoard like this? Day off project
/u/dentchick
Created: Fri Mar 16 10:45:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84wuwc/daoe_hoard_like_this_day_off_project/
---
https://i.redd.it/2lgr0jwqm5m01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Frozen food probs
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 140.6 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 22.8 | 19F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 10:29:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84wqe9/frozen_food_probs/
---
This is such a stupid problem to have but I bought a frozen lunch for work today, but then I ate a quest bar at like 11 cause i didnt have breakfast and i caved. So now im not hungry but i HAVE to eat this lean cuisine thing or it will spoil and thats a huge waste of food and money. but i dont wanna waste calories by eating when im not hungry.
this is so dumb but im literally panicking about it because im a huge moron lmao
[Discussion] I wonder what percentage of posters here can define what a calorie actually is
/u/JackhusChanhus
Created: Fri Mar 16 10:24:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84wp67/i_wonder_what_percentage_of_posters_here_can/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Show on Netflix from New Zealand called The Big Ward about weight loss surgery patients
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 24F cw: š gw: šø]
Created: Fri Mar 16 10:08:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84wkh9/show_on_netflix_from_new_zealand_called_the_big/
---
Hi y'all, I've been gone for a while but back again-- I've been dealing with EDNOS (or I guess it's now called OSFED) for about half my life, I move between restricting, "healthy" relationship with food and binging, the length of time of each stage in the cycle differs depending on what else is going on in my life, and I've been in a binge phase for quite a while (over a year) and have gotten legitimately fat (obese BMI). I'm getting married in a bit under a year so something switched in my brain recently and I've jumped back into restricting. My fiance knows about all this and is very supportive, helps me with harm reduction and is also losing a bit of weight along with me but the healthy way. We also want to start trying for children after our wedding and at this point my high weight is a risk factor so we'll be working together to get me down to a healthy weight and then shift to maintaining and getting lots of nutrition for the few months before the wedding.
Anyway, the reason I'm making this post is we found a show on Netflix about WLS patients, and have been watching it together. It's honestly really sad how some of the people are so poorly educated about food and nutrition-- there was a scene where the clinic dietician was counselling a patient who was housebound and had relied on her father for everything until he passed away from obesity-related illness. They were looking at a poster of all different fruits and vegetables to brainstorm ideas for healthy foods that the patient might like to eat instead of the KFC and bread she was currently living on... and the patient truly didn't know what red cabbage, green beans, zucchini etc are. It was really heartbreaking to watch! But super interesting to see the kind of misinformation and the family dynamics that were playing out over and over again with different patients. It gave my fiance and I some ideas of what is contributing to our binge eating and how to move away from that.
In another scene they introduced a new patient who was a Samoan woman named Kimiora who is only 20 years old and a size 23 (not sure how NZ sizes convert). I asked my fiance if I am the same size as her and he said "What? No. You are WAY thinner than her." I told him that couldn't be possible because she looks exactly how I see my body in the mirror and I do lots of body checks multiple times a day so it couldn't be wrong. Lol. He just kept repeating that in complete honesty I am nowhere near her size. I believe him but I also don't know what to think because I didn't think I had significant body dysmorphia or whatever you call that cliche picture of a skinny girl looking in a mirror and seeing a fat girl that they use in all the anorexia awareness campaigns.
Has anyone else dealt with body dysmorphia and not know they have it until someone corrected their observations?
[Rant/Rave] I picked up some kind of stomach virus in Mexico
/u/IdidntChooseThis [UGW: Dead LW: not dead]
Created: Fri Mar 16 10:00:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84wi2a/i_picked_up_some_kind_of_stomach_virus_in_mexico/
---
So I spent a few days in Cancun and ate mainly local food/ back alley (less sketch than it sounds) food at these little stands nestled between buildings and what not, and ever since I've been back I've been sick as hell, and just as I thought I was getting better, it came back with a vengeance with last night being the worst night yet.
So yeah, just wanted to let y'all know that Mexico has really good food but it lacks the sanitation needed to not fuck you up.
On the bright side I must be losing some weight from all this, on the downside my scale needs new batteries so I can't check my weight.
Happy shitting y'all
[Discussion] Do you need help calculating calories?
/u/gothicapples
Created: Fri Mar 16 09:55:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84wgvb/do_you_need_help_calculating_calories/
---
There was a post over on r/proEDmemes about chips I did a breakdown for them and it was fun so if I can help break something down for you let me know here is what I did.
DORITOS :
Nacho 1chip is roughly 12 calories
Zesty 1chip is roughy 14 calories
Cool ranch 1chip is roughly 12 calories
CHEETOS
Crunch 1āchipā is roughly 7calories
Flaming hot 1āchipā is roughly 8calories
Puffs 1āchipā is roughly 13calories
LAYS:
Classics 1chip is roughly 7calories
BBQ 1chip is roughly 10calories
Dill 1chip is roughly 10calories
Salt&vinegar 1chip is roughly 10 calories
TOSTITOS:
Original 1chip is roughly 21calories
Hint of lime 1chip is roughly 25calories
Hint of jalapeƱos 23calories
Multigrain round 1chip is roughly 18calories
[Help] If c/s is so bad for you, why is chewing gum okay?
/u/OriginalJokeGoesHere [170cm | GW 45kg | šØš¦ āļø]
Created: Fri Mar 16 09:31:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84waet/if_cs_is_so_bad_for_you_why_is_chewing_gum_okay/
---
I know that you absorb *some* calories from c/s, but why is it actually that much worse for you than having a piece of gum?
[Goal] I need a 'Challenge' to get this weight loss going...
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 09:24:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84w8j8/i_need_a_challenge_to_get_this_weight_loss_going/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Is anyone else terrified to get on the scale, regardless of the fact they worked out and restricted the day before?
/u/DavidMitchellTurtle [5'8" | CW 192lbs | GW 115 | BMI 28.8 | Lost 68]
Created: Fri Mar 16 09:23:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84w8fh/is_anyone_else_terrified_to_get_on_the_scale/
---
My brain's telling me to stay in bed, it's pointless, I gained, but I only ate 600cals yesterday even though my family dragged me to my favourite restaurant, and i worked out about 100cals worth.
And even though my mind's doing that, the piece of shit is also telling me to binge on the takeout my dad is getting tonight :/ choose a damn side
[Rant/Rave] I DIDN'T RESTRICT OR WEIGH MYSELF FOR A WEEK AND DIDN'T GAIN WEIGHT
/u/peridoti [5'0 | 130 lb | F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 09:13:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84w5mt/i_didnt_restrict_or_weigh_myself_for_a_week_and/
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nearly cried with joy when I stepped on the scale today. Of course my first thought was "wow, I guess this thing is broken."
but guys...
guys...
I ate breakfast all last week. I ate two brownies. I KEPT A WHOLE PACKET OF RAMEN NOODLES DOWN.
WHAT IS THIS MAGIC?!
[Discussion] Are you guys on Instagram?
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: whale | 22F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 08:10:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84voli/are_you_guys_on_instagram/
---
Who do you follow? What are some good thinspo/fitspo instas? And if you're comfortable with me following you, tell me your insta as well :)
I don't know what's wrong with me...
/u/runawaythrowaway47
Created: Fri Mar 16 07:43:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84vhyn/i_dont_know_whats_wrong_with_me/
---
Thank you for whoever is reading this. So, like 10 minutes ago, I had 20 cals worth of romaine lettuce because I needed to take some DayQuil and apperently you can't take it on an empty stomach -_-. So I was hungry again and I was having a battle in my mind on weather I should eat it or not and I was like "fuck it" even though I worked so damn hard yesterday to not eat more than my 40 cals. Two weeks ago we had bought 4 boxes of different types of captin crunch. I got 2 and another family member got 2. So back to the present. I go into the pantry and look for my 2nd box of captin crunch... Not there. That's when I see that it's open on the shelf. The other family member that got the other boxes told me it was my godfathers girlfriend. That's where I go just shut down. I woke up feeling like shit and the energy just drained out of me and I get this. I have never felt this way before but now I just don't want to eat and I don't want it and I don't want anything else. I am mad and sad and I'm usually possessive over food whilst restricting but not this damn much. I think it's the fact that I didn't get to open it and shit got me. I have another box of cereal (cookie crunch) but I have a feeling that she ate some of that too. I would have been fine with this but after the past things that have happened, this was like a silent breaking point for me. I just feel so petty and so possessive and I shouldn't even be this way. I just don't know what to do.
[Rant/Rave] I'm being vegan anyway
/u/chocoooomuffin [5'9" | CW 153 | BMI 22.6 | -35 lbs | 24F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 07:28:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84velh/im_being_vegan_anyway/
---
Hi! Long-time lurker, first time poster. I started seeing a nutritionist recently to try to get help for all my disordered shit, but after like 3 visits I couldn't deal with her anymore. I just felt like she wasn't actually connecting with me and just treated me like a problem that needed to be fixed. Like, I used to be vegan for a while and it morphed into an ED, but at its core it was just me trying to make a little bit of a difference in the world. Honestly ever since I stopped being vegan I've always felt kinda purposeless/lost, so I decided that I don't care if it fuels my ED, I want to still have that little spark of passion that makes me want to save all the animals and make conscious choices that are in line with my ideals. My nutritionist told me I should be eating animal products (because there was one day that I was really craving meat and I ate some turkey sausage and felt better) and that no foods are off-limits. Which she may be right about, but I don't LIKE eating animals. Everyone always tells me I shouldn't be vegan, but I love doing it. I love knowing that my food is healthy and unprocessed, I love knowing that my food choices line up with my moral values, and I love looking at vegan food Instagrams because they're always so pretty and nice. And it honestly gives me more freedom around food, because I know that pretty much everything vegan (ignoring oreos and accidentally vegan junk food) is good for me.
I don't think I should have to eat butter or cheese or chicken or whatever just because it supposedly gives me more freedom around food. I know I can eat whatever I want. I choose not to, because I don't want to get fat again and I want to make conscious choices. So anyway, I'm just kinda annoyed/fed up with people talking shit about veganism and acting like I'm some kind of fucked up person for wanting to save the animals.
I don't know what the point of this is. I just wanted to put it somewhere because I feel like people here will get it.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! March 16, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 16 06:13:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84uy8h/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_march/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for March 16, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 16, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 16 06:13:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84uy76/daily_food_diary_march_16_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 16, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Goal] I started the ABC diet
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: 99 | GW:88 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 05:44:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84usph/i_started_the_abc_diet/
---
[removed]
[Help] Lightheaded
/u/Ikwileenpony
Created: Fri Mar 16 05:09:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84umod/lightheaded/
---
Hi there!
New here, on mobile.
I restrict to 800-850 kcal net a day, and it is going well. Lost 6 kg in 1 month.
However, every afternoon I get lightheaded and feel as if I'm about to faint. My colleagues have noticed I'm not as productive as I was before (2500 kcal a day).
Any tips to fight this? I feel that one day I might actually hit the floor.
Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] "Normal" eating looks disordered to me now + Plus other screwed thoughts
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 113 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Fri Mar 16 05:01:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ulci/normal_eating_looks_disordered_to_me_now_plus/
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Like when people complain about eating so many sweets..."Oh it's so good but it's gonna make me so fat XD" My ED brain is like "you're eating them for the taste/joy right? Why not chew and spit it out? Why not puke out the food? It's not worth it." And honestly don't get why they shouldn't.
Also I saw 2 young girls like me just buy a crap ton of junk food laughing in a grocery store, talking about how they should buy more, my ED is like "how? How could you put that in your body without throwing up? That's so much sugar/fat...Are you insane?"
I also look at various junk foods in the store and just question why people would put that in their body. It just looks like a legalized drugs to me. Because you eat junk food to feel good, not for fuel, just like you would do drugs to feel good. So I see everyone as drug addicts...
There's also this thing I do when I puke, I just stare at the vomit, imagining it all as pure fat clumps and if I didn't purge it wouldve transformed into my own fat. And this really messes with me especially with food. It seems "pure and innocent" and looks all pretty but when you put it in your mouth you transform it into some disgusting tasteless fat chow for your body. It's black magic.
Anyway just a list of terrible terrible thoughts I had. It feels really distorted but it feels so LOGICALLY right. What the f**k, how do you guys cope with this crap?
[Other] Antibiotics, illness and water weight?
/u/Indigobeet [162cm | 62kg | 24.3 | 0 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 04:50:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84uj6g/antibiotics_illness_and_water_weight/
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I've come down with bacterial tonsillitis and have had a really high fever the last few days and am prescribed antibiotics for it (amoxicillin, pretty standard, I already feel better). I have also eaten more than usual this week as I've felt really physically tired from restriction and the antibiotics make my stomach really upset so I can't take them without having some food. I should average out at maintenance by the end of this week.
However, I am extremely paranoid that I will gain weight(fat) from this week and am constantly body checking, measuring and etc. I feel so fluffy already. This is driving me mad, could I be retaining water from the food/meds/illness? Anyone have any advice or consolidation?
Also on mobile, please flats as other. If this doesn't warrant its own thread, I'm sorry, please delete it.
[Other] What's for dinner?
/u/daintydaisydoll [5'1.5 / CW:96 / BMI: 18.56 / GW: 85]
Created: Fri Mar 16 04:01:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84uav7/whats_for_dinner/
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Pretty sure I look like a fuckin' weirdo because I always ask my boyfriend "what's for dinner" first thing in the morning. I just need to know if I can waste 100-200 cal on breakfast. Luckily he's not caught on, and even asks me first sometimes. I did the same thing when I lived with my parents, and it annoyed my mother so much. lol I just wanna plan my day.
[Rant/Rave] Entered The Twilight Zone AKA my tiny coworker complimented my legs
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Fri Mar 16 03:20:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84u54p/entered_the_twilight_zone_aka_my_tiny_coworker/
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There really isn't more to the story. My coworker complimented my legs.
"they're so long and thin! I wish we could swap!"
She's like a size 8 or 10 and has a thigh gap. And not like a 'stand a certain way' gap, like a proper thigh gap.
I can't even.
[Help] How to suppress appetite at a physical level?
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 298.4 | Goal: 270 | 46.7 | 0 | F ]
Created: Fri Mar 16 03:00:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84u26t/how_to_suppress_appetite_at_a_physical_level/
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I know this walks the line on at least one rule, most notably Rule 1 and Rule 2, however it's quite clear that I'm not asking *how* to ED, I've been here years on and off struggling with fasting but mostly binge urges, and I'm not asking for medical advice, I'm asking for what has worked for others.
I'm stuck in an insidious binge cycle. I cannot stop, and I cannot stop myself from eating I've tried fasting several times over the past two weeks and failed. I started walking 8+mi a day to try to counter, but that only made me hungrier. The only time recently I had food in front of me that I didn't want to and couldn't stand to eat it was when I had two bottles of Robitussin in my stomach. The idea of eating even another bite of my burrito was physically repulsive. I just can't be on DXM constantly or I'll end up in a mental ward.
I have gone so far as to try to get sick by eating expired chicken and pork. I didn't get sick.
So what has worked for others who have been in binge cycles to make food repulsive? I've tried things like drinking water before I eat until I'm basically full and smelling disgusting smells, the water just makes the binge more satisfying in a sick sort of way, and I eat food out of the trash, so the psychological grossness doesn't work. The only time I've ever been so bad psychologically that I didn't want to eat was after my wife told me she wanted a divorce. It's gotta make my body physically not want food. This is the only way I beat this binge cycle.
[Other] Corn allergy
/u/lovelysilliness
Created: Fri Mar 16 02:14:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84tvm4/corn_allergy/
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So, Iām pretty fuckin sure I have a corn allergy (only through trial and error, Iām seeing a doc in a few weeks), and I have very mixed feelings about it. Iām mostly orthorexic so part of me is super fucking stoked I have a legitimate reason to not eat high fructose corn syrup, corn meal, or corn starch. It eliminates so much fucking food. Like 100% of any processed food has some form of corn, even the āhealthyā kinds. But also Iām bummed. I canāt eat out pretty much at all, and Iām a super lazy cook. But also Iām excited I canāt eat out because Iāll be saving money and mystery calories. BUT itās also nice to have the fucking option to eat out now and then even if I might (read:will) hate myself for it later. UGH. Does anyone else on this sub have a corn allergy?
[Rant/Rave] Looking for a sign... and got it
/u/gothbaseball
Created: Fri Mar 16 01:55:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84tsoe/looking_for_a_sign_and_got_it/
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First idk if I should flair this intro because long time lurker, first time poster. Struggled with disordered eating since I was 13 and Iām 21 now. Sorry if Iām doing anything wrong, please let me know! Anyway hi!
Iāve always been afraid to post because I didnāt think I was disordered enough or had anything important to say. Whenever I do something, I always silently say to the universe like āshow me a sign if I should do ____ā
So I was thinking about getting back into regular fasting and basically being consumed by ED thoughts, not paying attention in my biochem lecture today... until my professor writes āSTOP EATINGā on the blackboard... underlined twice!!
Okay universe, I hear you.
(for those interested, weāre working on a fat metabolism section and she was defining leptin, which tells the brain that a person has enough nutrients. The quickest way to describe its function is that it says STOP EATING! The whole section about about fat storage vs what your body does while fasting is so weirdly motivational. But also scary, like ketone bodies causing acidosis and stuff. Yay science?)
tldr: I asked the universe if I should fast more. It said yes with two underlines. If you want more motivation, take metabolic biochemistry.
Anyone else see signs in random places? Or get inspiration from biology?
An accurate representation of my first term in college.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 16 00:59:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84tkfv/an_accurate_representation_of_my_first_term_in/
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https://i.redd.it/a7wbjmd9q2m01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Went through the Freshman 15. Not going through the Sophomore 20!
/u/Korraaa [5'6 | CW: 114.6 GW: 110 |]
Created: Fri Mar 16 00:59:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84tkfl/went_through_the_freshman_15_not_going_through/
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https://i.redd.it/q4cbguy8q2m01.jpg
hi restriction vs lo restriction
/u/please1996 [Height 5'5.6 | CW 140 | GW 110 | 22F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 23:44:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84t8m0/hi_restriction_vs_lo_restriction/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Gaining weight rapidly
/u/slowlydoesit1 [163cm | CW: 55.8 | GW1:48]
Created: Thu Mar 15 22:39:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84sxcl/gaining_weight_rapidly/
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Would super love some support or advice my friends!
| Background |
Started restricting over the last few years but last year was extra stressful, I managed as a result to get down to roughly 55kgs in late November.
As my mood improved over the Christmas and new year break, my weight crept up. Then there was so family drama that went down, which would usually trigger restricting but it didnāt.
However over the last month I have reverted to a weird binge habit. I have never been a binge type for the most part. I mean even normal people have days where they just eat lots of junk right?
| Current |
This morning I weighed in at 63 kgs. Considering in late November I was sitting at 55 that is a shit load of weight gain. I donāt understand how the whole binge eating disorder functions so I feel like I donāt know how to treat it. Ideally I would like to beat my restriction disorder but this whole gaining weight rapidly thing is NOT what I want either.
I donāt really know what Iām asking. Any tips to get out of a binge cycle? I told myself when university went back the patterns of that would probably help but so far that hasnāt been the case. Do I need to be concerned? Also nope I have not updated my flair. Nope nope nope.
I C/S in front of my friend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 15 22:30:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84svnr/i_cs_in_front_of_my_friend/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84svnr/i_cs_in_front_of_my_friend/
[Tip] Anyone else find themselves eating family size bags of Doritos?
/u/CommaDelimitedList
Created: Thu Mar 15 22:26:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84susz/anyone_else_find_themselves_eating_family_size/
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[removed]
So I recently visited a nutritionist...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 15 22:17:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84st5y/so_i_recently_visited_a_nutritionist/
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[deleted]
I, too, have an dorito
/u/BubonicSpazzmaster
Created: Thu Mar 15 22:11:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84srwr/i_too_have_an_dorito/
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[removed]
Hot damn Doritos are delicious
/u/Intellectuality2005
Created: Thu Mar 15 22:01:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84spuq/hot_damn_doritos_are_delicious/
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[removed]
[Help] Bulimia recovery and hunger/fullness
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Thu Mar 15 21:20:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84shk8/bulimia_recovery_and_hungerfullness/
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For anyone that has recovered, whether it was past or continued to the present, how long did it take for your hunger and fullness cues to normalize? Iāve been trying to recover for a few months and have had some good weeks and some bad ones. Sometimes Iām truly not hungry and then at night Iām starving. Iāve stopped counting calories(huge trigger), so I keep a rough track but also feel like my ED causes me to overestimate anything that doesnāt have a label/is homemade.
Should I be eating in a structured manor or just riding out the strange eating habits until my body normalizes?
I just ate a family size bag of Doritos
/u/FutureSalamander
Created: Thu Mar 15 21:13:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84sg6n/i_just_ate_a_family_size_bag_of_doritos/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] What even is recovery
/u/Idunnoking [5ā2 | CW87.6| GW95 | 16FāØ]
Created: Thu Mar 15 20:41:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84s9h9/what_even_is_recovery/
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SOooo I finally admitted to my parents of my suspected possession of an ed a couple weeks ago. I can thank many of you for contributing to that decision as a result of all the support this sub has offered me since it gave me the push I rlly needed to be honest with them and most importantly, myself. As lovely as all this is, my eating is still whacked š Iām in this terrible quasi recovery where I go from not counting but consciously restricting portions to whipping out the scale at random and calculating things to a tee because Iām stuck between wanting to maintain/lose so that I can receive validation through my ever approaching treatment/assessment (as I have yet to receive a diagnosis or a meal plan) and wanting to gain just so I wonāt feel like utter shit. š I know professionals wonāt throw my ass out on the curb if I gain weight in the two weeks between my initial meeting and the next one, but my ed is just telling me āget sicker!!!ā Like what the hell is this limbo ?? I also feel like I canāt focus on anything because my brain/personality is absorbed by my ed, it makes it so difficult to do school or even navigate a conversation. Iām hoping that by my next meeting theyāll give me a meal plan because honestly, I feel at this point I need permission to eat ? Like I want to indulge but I feel like a fake right now. Plus I didnāt realize but I wasnāt 5ā1 like I thought initially but instead Iām 5ā2 so my bmi is lower then I thought and I can barely understand the severity of my appearance/condition ?? Like those around me say I look terrible but the dysmorphia is like āu look average, maybe a little thin but theyāre lying otherwise!ā
u g h
I donāt know if anyone can relate but I had to get it out somewhere cause itās a straight mess
The only plus to this is now that Iām out to my parents I was able to get Coke Zero while grocery shopping without being asked whyšš© some habits never die yikes
[Other] Damage control plan
/u/heartemoji
Created: Thu Mar 15 20:19:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84s4v8/damage_control_plan/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Spicy food to avoid b/p-ing
/u/TheOrgazoid99
Created: Thu Mar 15 20:06:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84s1y2/spicy_food_to_avoid_bping/
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Eating food is my biggest huge trigger. Fucking inconvenient.
After a really bad week, Iām trying a new strategy: something spicy as part of every āmealā. So spicy it hurts a bit while you eat it, but in a good way. A big chunk of wasabi on a piece of sushi, some spicy mustard on an egg, too much chilli on my caulk rice, etc.
I absolutely hate being full so wonāt binge unless I can purge, but Iām too scared of purging up something spicy. If Iām wrong about how awful it would be, please donāt correct me, let me keep the delusion š
[Discussion] When your sick, your family donāt have to know how much your eating
/u/inxthewolf1
Created: Thu Mar 15 19:20:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84rrj9/when_your_sick_your_family_dont_have_to_know_how/
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So I am down with the flu, and a infection in my kidneys, and so I just been not eating a lot for the last week or so and I havenāt weighed myself but I feel I lot lighter. Does anyone else do this when they are sick or even fake sick to get out of eating
[Rant/Rave] Turns out fasting really is good for my health
/u/Queen_Arthur
Created: Thu Mar 15 19:09:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84rp3g/turns_out_fasting_really_is_good_for_my_health/
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I have a clotting disorder, and the likelihood of clotting drastically increases after pregnancy
But good news, fasting increases clot breakdown! By a lot!
Turns out I'm healthy af š
Now if only I could stop binging...
[Rant/Rave] why am i like this part 267
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 15 19:03:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84rnre/why_am_i_like_this_part_267/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84rnre/why_am_i_like_this_part_267/
[Other] When your best friend has no idea lol
/u/fluffyfinaland [5'6"| CW 151.8 | GW 120 | -20.2 | 21F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 18:17:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84rd48/when_your_best_friend_has_no_idea_lol/
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https://i.redd.it/4br9vuthq0m01.jpg
[Help] using modafinal as an appetite suppressantāhow many mg do you take?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | "maintaining" | 22f]
Created: Thu Mar 15 18:13:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84rc7x/using_modafinal_as_an_appetite_suppressanthow/
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[removed]
[Help] Anyone take vyvanse? Is it better to take it on an empty stomach or with food? What time?
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 18:08:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ravq/anyone_take_vyvanse_is_it_better_to_take_it_on_an/
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I just got prescribed vyvanse but forgot to ask the doctor f I should take it with food etc. she said take it around 10 AM. Does anyone here take it? And how do I best maximize the appetite suppressant aspect? Thanks!
P.s. in the past Iāve had issues with slow digestion/delayed stomach emptying to my concern is that food might delay digesting the vyvanse. I have no idea if thatās a valid concern.
[Rant/Rave] when lunch time rolls around ( at work )
/u/katijaiv [5'10 | CW no good | f]
Created: Thu Mar 15 17:32:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84r2du/when_lunch_time_rolls_around_at_work/
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my friends and i usually get together to eat our food together and have quality friend time ( work is pretty quiet and solitary so we don't talk much while working ). anyways, i stopped joining them a month or more ago now just because of how embarrassed i am to be eating. i try at least once a week but find i end up scarfing my food down within 5 minutes so that i can no longer look disgusting ??? even though they're healthy lunches ( salad, cucumbers, peppers, oranges, some type of small lean meat ). a few days ago i tried to eat with them again and when i finished my meal one friend went "oh wow you finished that really quickly -- oh and wow! you're eating with us today." also not to mention earlier on during the day when i first got into work another friend was like "nice outfit so curvy!!!!" horrible fucking words to hear. i've decided to no longer eat with them after this, it really killed me ( especially when i felt cute and tiny that day ). god. anyways... my question is..... how do i NOT lose these friendships i guess? seems like they don't really acknowledge me or get more rude and witty when i don't join them. sorry for the rant ):
[Rant/Rave] Me and my thunder thighs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 15 17:27:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84r15l/me_and_my_thunder_thighs/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Chicken thigh vs breast for broth?
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"|SW:252|CW:227| GW:112| HW:294| 27F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 16:57:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84qtpq/chicken_thigh_vs_breast_for_broth/
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I have some chicken thighs in the freezer I won't eat due to higher calories. I thought I could put them in the slow cooker with bouillon cubes and make a broth, drain off, discard the meat/bones and add chicken breast and zero noodles to make a kind of chicken noodle soup. My question is: Would broth made this way have a considerably higher calorie content due to skin/fat etc? I don't mind just using chicken breast instead and ditching the thighs. Thanks!
[Discussion] So incredibly conspicuous
/u/TheOrgazoid99
Created: Thu Mar 15 16:47:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84qqys/so_incredibly_conspicuous/
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It all feels so obvious:
Electrolyte tablets but no intense exercise. Home all day but no dirty dishes. Healthy/clean food but also coke and energy drinks. Messy room but clean toilet.
What are your ED oxymorons?
Bonus anecdote: I weigh myself in front of my partner, but have been drinking increasing amounts of liquid first and/or holding more objects. Itās the āhow long can I pretend Iām 127ā game. Iām 122 today. Iāve crossed the line from weirdo to lunatic.
(Mobile, sorry, flair discussion I guess?)
[Rant/Rave] Sick, can't work out, and can't stop bingeing!
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 108.6 | 20.1 | -12 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 16:35:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84qnw4/sick_cant_work_out_and_cant_stop_bingeing/
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I've fine down with a nasty cold and haven't been able to exercise all week. I hate myself for that, and what's worse, the last two days have been a constant binge. Yesterday I had 1100 calories. Today, it's nearing 1300!! And that's not counting the dozens of losenges I've gone through. My throat is aching and I've had literally a gallon and a half of hot tea, but only warm, soft food like oatmeal really seems to soothe it. I've tried heating up applesauce (Ew) and steaming and mashing broccoli, but I binged on that until my stomach ached. Then, when my stomach physically couldn't hold any more volume, I took so much chloraseptic spray over the course of the night that i involuntary vomited! HOW do I make myself STOP?!!
I need this cold to be over.... some people can't eat when they're ill. Why am I cursed like this???
[Rant/Rave] Friend made me a pound cake for my birthday
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Thu Mar 15 16:35:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84qnvy/friend_made_me_a_pound_cake_for_my_birthday/
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https://i.redd.it/hw5d8ecd80m01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Parents are worried .... about my sister
/u/EDProgrammer [5'8 | CW: 124 | 18.93 | Lost: 22 | F | 21 ]
Created: Thu Mar 15 16:17:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84qit8/parents_are_worried_about_my_sister/
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First of all: a small introduce. I was already active in this sub but i was scared that someone would find my account because I used the same name as in my gaming accounts. (I know stupid me). Sorry for my english in advance. Im from Germany :)
Sooo as the title says my parents are worried. But not about me but because of the weight of my older sister. AND I DONT GET WHY. Yes she is super skinny. But she does sport all the time because she is a fire dancer and does ballett. And additional she is a vegetarian and eats healthy all the time. THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
My second sister told me that they tell her to eat more all the time.
It took them 7 months !! to even realise that i lost weight. And additional to that i am eating almost nothing when i am visiting them. Its not like i want them to be worried its just that i feel less important....
/rant
Anyone else here with a sister that gets all the attention :I ?
[Rant/Rave] Super tmi
/u/xxxholixxx
Created: Thu Mar 15 16:01:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84qefw/super_tmi/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] New job forces me to walk 3 miles per day š
/u/chocolate_9_T [5"0 | 109š | 21.1 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 15:58:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84qdiz/new_job_forces_me_to_walk_3_miles_per_day/
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This was a huge factor when i applied for this job ...
I'm so ecstatic !!!! This is a 45 minute walk one way and then again on the way back. I'm so excited ! I could take a bus but I hate spending money on things like bus fare haha
Plus i can skip lunch and eat fruit and don't have to come home for lunch.
Also I'll be on my feet a lot, in my previous job it was sedentary desk job and I've put on a fuck load of weight
If I start my day right then I'll be less likely to fuck it up and waste the entire day right?
Only downside is the new place pays a lot less ... But I think I'll be happier overall....
[Help] how much apple cider vinegar is too much acv ?
/u/Suusss [| 5'6 | 143 / 130 / 120 / 117 \\ 115 \\ 111 \\ 109]
Created: Thu Mar 15 15:23:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84q4a8/how_much_apple_cider_vinegar_is_too_much_acv/
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Read somewhere today that vinegar products lead to an increase of yeast production, which ya know leads to yeast infection. Anyone have any idea? I usually drink a shot and a half a day diluted in a huge glass water bottle, I dont want to overshoot it ;)
*edit - you can NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH apple cider vinegar! (probably not literally)
[Help] How to dress when you've gained weight?
/u/onegoalfullcontrol
Created: Thu Mar 15 15:15:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84q2gk/how_to_dress_when_youve_gained_weight/
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Hi guys. So I have gained weight recently and now I hate myself + all the clothes I own even more. I need advice on how to dress now that I've gained weight. I am more concerned on how to hide my top half since I gain more weight in the upper body. I don't care how childish or how business or how sporty I look - I'll go for any style as long as I feel even a tiny bit better about myself. Thanks
[Rant/Rave] Coworkers
/u/frameworkautoco [5'8" | 118 | 17.8 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 14:28:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84pp3z/coworkers/
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Ok so I am 14 hours into a 19-hour fast (just switched to 19/5 intermittent fasting to avoid my b/p trigger at lunch). Obviously, I am sitting in my car watching about a dozen gif recipes and I look up
AND MY COWORKER HAS PULLED UP RIGHT NEXT TO ME
So I'm pretty sure he just saw me curled up watching food instead of eating. Super lol. Like I wasn't already the office weirdo.
[Rant/Rave] Done being the caregiver
/u/ELI5ThrowitawayELI5 [5ā4 | 148 lbs | 25.9 | Trans]
Created: Thu Mar 15 14:21:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84pn5g/done_being_the_caregiver/
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I have EDNOS and go through phases of eating normally (with very disordered thoughts/feelings) and restricting. Iāve finally figured out that my normal phases pretty much always coincide with times when other people have been heavily relying on me and forcing me into a caregiver role for them, and Iām sick of it. I got burned pretty badly in January by one of my closest friends who was leaning on my a lot for support, and itās not only left me emotionally exhausted but also sent me into a total tailspin with my ED and restricting.
So this is it, Iām done being the one other people can count to not have issues. I miss being near my goal weight, and Iāve been putting other peopleās feelings ahead of my own for far too long. Just needed to get it off my chest.
[Rant/Rave] I use fasting as a punishment for being a mess in social situations
/u/huumekuriiri [5'6'' | 132 | -15 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 14:02:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84phh8/i_use_fasting_as_a_punishment_for_being_a_mess_in/
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Was awkward in a conversation with a friend's parent, blaming myself for not being polite & friendly enough. Solution: a 24 hour fast is enough to make up for the incident.
Was unintentionally rude to a friend, fast 'till I feel like I've served my sentence for it. Usually I use 24h for things this small.
DAE do this? I know fasting has nothing to do with the actual thing I've done and can't therefore help with it but I just get such a comfort in knowing that I've done SOMETHING to fix it. Usually I would just repeat the situation in my head over and over again at night until falling asleep.
(English is not my first language so sorry for the potential mistakes)
[Discussion] It's true, isn't it?
/u/Pathetic_lvl9000
Created: Thu Mar 15 13:39:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84pb62/its_true_isnt_it/
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I was enamored with some guy who treated me like I was never treated before, and he was my perfect type. I was a little thinner when I met him than I am now [see: kill me, please lol]
He lost interest and it has sucked ass. He was my ideal. Not sure if he was a player or it was me or my weight or whatever.
SO TELL ME: no fucking bullshit, no ~positive encouragement about finding yerself~, when you lose a lot of weight, they all come crawling back don't they? If you go from a higher average weight to a model weight and look beautiful, they will likely come back around huh?
Looking for similar experiences you guys had or truth.
I know this sounds unhealthy and pathetic. I only lose when I am heart-broken lol.
My coffee mug has all the feels
/u/littlejanedoe- [5'2" |CW:FMLlbs | GW:115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 13:08:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84p2eh/my_coffee_mug_has_all_the_feels/
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https://i.redd.it/8cl060v97zl01.jpg
[Help] an academic & personal decline
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 15 12:03:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84oj8i/an_academic_personal_decline/
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[deleted]
[Intro] not sure if a i have ED or not
/u/poetryonamphetamines
Created: Thu Mar 15 11:46:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84oehg/not_sure_if_a_i_have_ed_or_not/
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but i do have disordered eating behaviors. my clinical depression/anxiety was worse during 2015 - 2017ish & wasn't treated well with medication. last summer i was finally switched to a different antidepressant that works a little better but the old one made me so depressive/binge frequently. now im back to normal but it's like i never want to eat and anytime i do i feel terrible, not just physically but in my headspace as well. Anyways, im finally down to 112 lbs. and I'm 5'1, it's considered a healthy weight. But i still hate my body and feel so fat sometimes. My goal is 90lbs.
[Rant/Rave] Forced to recover, more petty than ever
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 15 11:06:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84o3dr/forced_to_recover_more_petty_than_ever/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Hapiness makes me gain weight. I only lose when I'm miserable.
/u/MissMagus
Created: Thu Mar 15 10:55:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84o059/hapiness_makes_me_gain_weight_i_only_lose_when_im/
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I was down to 108, and I felt like a wet noodle all the time but you could see my bone structure and shit and I loved it. I'd just gotten through the roughest shit Ive ever dealt with in my life and literally couldnt stomach most food.
So i drank vodka and black coffee like all the time. I lost so much weight just....inadvertently. cause life sucked and I was numb to everything.
Now, im finally getting my life back and I got this new dude who I love, he drinks fancy sweet wines and likes to cook for me and shit. Its great honestly. My stomach growls again, and I have so much more energy.
BUT I'm back up to 114 and my self confidence is plummeting and I started calorie counting again...and dudes. Why.
I just wanna be happy. Why does being at 114 feel like I'm failing even though I'm super happy?? And I'm ravenous like all the time now....its almost like my body is trying to make up for the two months I literally couldnt eat.
I JUST WANNA GET BACK DOWN TO 108 AND STAY HAPPY.
[Discussion] So close to my goal/hit a new low
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 89.2 | BMI 15.8 | UGW 88 | HW 126 | 25F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 10:49:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84nybz/so_close_to_my_goalhit_a_new_low/
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I finally broke under 90 lbs and am at 89.2 (BMI 15.8).
I arbitrarily selected 88 as my goal weeks ago because it was both under 90 lbs and under 16 BMI. But now that I'm so close I'm already thinking in my head "well it would be better to be 86-87 to be like REALLY established in the 80s." I had planned a Pizza Hut feast when I got near goal but now I'm like "But I have really good progress lately and don't want to ruin it."
I don't know how to eat like a normal person anymore. I don't know how to not care about losing weight. It's my only coping method right now and I'm not willing to give it up. Even as people are coming to me with concern, it's like I know I SHOULD care, but I just don't.
I don't think I'm fixable so I don't even care to try. And I don't know why, but being anorexic makes me feel special. Even though it doesn't really and might kill me. You guys relate?
[Goal] Beat my original UGW and itās not enough.
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:114 |GW:100 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 10:38:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84nuyv/beat_my_original_ugw_and_its_not_enough/
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I met my original UGW this week and Iām even lighter now. When I first started restricting I weighed 142IBS and I wanted to be 115. This was last August. I remember wondering if Iād even get close to 115. I couldnāt even picture myself in the 120s. It seemed so fake and honestly I never thought I would reach that weight even with the amount of calories I would restrict to.
Once I hit 125 I remember being kind of excited that I was only 10IBS away from my goal. I thought about lowering my UGW even more since I was closer to it, but 115 still seemed unattainable in my mind.
At 118 I decided that 110 sounds like a better number, so I tried to ignore 115 and make it unimportant in my mind. I was so close that it didnāt count anymore. It wasnāt enough and I needed a better challenge.
Today I woke up at 114, and 100IBS doesnāt sound bad at all.
My UGW doesnāt even exist at this point, I just want to look like a pile of bones. My body now is exactly what I wanted to look like when I was 140+IBS, but now I dream about being less than 100 and looking extra frail and small. My friends and family are worried. Ive always been kind of bony even at higher weights but Iām starting to show it even more. Sitting hurts depending on the chair because it feels like bone on a hard surface. My boyfriend is scared to touch me because I feel so damn bony. Iāve been having a lot more āholy shit thatās meā moments when I look in the mirror. I literally started this month off at 118 with a goal of being 115 by my birthday in April and now I want to weigh even less.
Even with all that I want to keep going. I need to keep going. I remember being 140 and looking at this sub. I remember reading all the posts warning people to try and stop now if you notice ED behaviors. The warnings were so sad and people were talking about how itās so hard to escape your ED and how this shit ruins lives and I never thought it was true. I used to assume people were being dramatic. I was so fucking wrong. I used to idolize people who would post body pics on Instagram looking super bony and now when I post outfit pics girls message me saying that they wish they had my body or wished they looked like me. Now Iām the one telling people to lose weight the healthy way and not to fall into ED behaviors and Iāve become the sub and forum posts I never believed in.
Honestly eating disorders are fucking crazy and Iām constantly in shock of how much this has consumed me and the things Iām no longer able to do or enjoy because of it. Even though I know this isnāt healthy and that Iām ruining my life, Iām so in love with what my body is becoming that Iām not willing to stop.
This shit is wild but I beat my original UGW and thatās all that really counts, right? ā ļø
[Discussion] Nail-biting as a coping mechanism?
/u/cashmeremoose
Created: Thu Mar 15 09:57:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84nitz/nailbiting_as_a_coping_mechanism/
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My nail biting habits have disappeared since I was like... 12 years old. I formed a habit of keeping my nails pristine at all costs, not perfectly manicured, but always presentable and clean and NOT chewed up. Iāve been struggle with ednos for almost a year now, and i find myself biting my nails incessantly, theyāre bleeding and hurting and iām not stopping??!! Iāve browsed around this forum and mpa and i found that this is likely to be a coping mechanism. Any experiences?
[Other] NY post over here is trying to tell me strawberries don't have calories come on people.
/u/Douchebagette
Created: Thu Mar 15 09:25:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84na88/ny_post_over_here_is_trying_to_tell_me/
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https://nypost.com/2017/01/11/20-zero-calorie-foods-to-snack-on-guilt-free/
[Discussion] Is there a discord chat for people with an Ed?
/u/QueenCronus
Created: Thu Mar 15 09:00:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84n3id/is_there_a_discord_chat_for_people_with_an_ed/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My travel anxiety is making me lose weight!!!
/u/requiemforatardis [5'6.5| CW: 119 GW: 95 | all flubber | LW: 102.5 | 23Agender]
Created: Thu Mar 15 08:42:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84mylz/my_travel_anxiety_is_making_me_lose_weight/
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I went to Germany and now I'm in Prague, and I don't eat. I don't know how to ask for things!! I get too nervous and just don't order any food all day. It's amazing.
And I am too anxious to learn transit, so I'm walking 10+ miles a day.
If I don't lose 5 pounds bc of this I will kill myself lol.
[Discussion] Can we talk about involuntary inpatient treatment?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80lbs | 15.1 | -23lbs | f]
Created: Thu Mar 15 07:42:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84miz3/can_we_talk_about_involuntary_inpatient_treatment/
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I just have a few things i'd really like to discuss and i know damn well there's no where else i can be open about these things.
The most urgent of my concerns is, what exactly does it take for an adult to be forced into treatment? The answer, i know, is very individual but sure there must be some sort of guidelines.
The second point of discussion is, how do y'all feel about it? The great ethical delimmena and all that jazz.
Finally, does anyone have any personal experience with involuntarily hospital stays as an adult?
I truly appreciate every response i get. I'm a little scared right now, and I just don't want to be alone with these ideas driving me mad.
I was hospitalized at 14 and left suicidal for the first time in my life. Four years later i still have an ED but at 80lbs (and somewhat recovered from the traumas i endured in hospital) rather than 67 i'm hoping i can stay out.
If I had a problem, then wouldnāt I be skinny?
/u/Count_Grackula
Created: Thu Mar 15 06:16:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84m00h/if_i_had_a_problem_then_wouldnt_i_be_skinny/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support March 15, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 15 06:12:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84lyz8/weekly_emotional_support_march_15_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 15, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 15 06:10:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84lyjn/daily_food_diary_march_15_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 15, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Intro] I'm new(ish) and need some support!
/u/Mini-Size_Me [172cm | 59kg | BMI20 | 25F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 05:15:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84lo96/im_newish_and_need_some_support/
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Hey guys, I have been lurking here for a while now, and I am blown away by how incredible this community is. I always sort of told myself that I would only ever lurk, that I could handle this on my own. But I've realised that I'm so alone in this and sometimes I just need someone (or many someones) to talk to/vent to/share my experiences with.
A little about me. I'm a 25F Australian uni student. I've fluctuated between recovery and not since I was about 15. Never been officially diagnosed as every time my current psychologist brings up my weight or my eating habits, I manage to pass it off as a stress thing. Pretty sure she 100% sees right through my bullshit, though. I think I need to be real with her when I see her next. I'm actually starting to *feel* actually sick this time.
Finally posting to you guys is really scary - it feels like I'm lifting my head out of the sand and actually admitting that there's something wrong. That I'm not actually okay. It's scary and confronting to openly admit that maybe I don't have this under control.
I think the thing that tipped me over the edge today - I've eaten WAY more than I've eaten in a while today. Still under 1200cals (only just) but I'm so panicky thinking that I'm going to gain 15kg overnight. Logically, I understand that that is not how it works, but emotionally I can't convince myself otherwise.
Sorry if none of what I posted is actually allowed. I'll delete or change anything if you want me to.
I'm also sorry for rambling - I really don't know what to say. Just feeling lost and alone.
I'll try to work out how to flair, again I am so sorry if I get it wrong.
[Discussion] Interesting observation here
/u/JackhusChanhus
Created: Thu Mar 15 04:43:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84limq/interesting_observation_here/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] my bf accidentally triggering me?
/u/yellix332 [160cm | CW: 66.5kg | GW: 50kg | Gender: FtM]
Created: Thu Mar 15 03:36:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84l7h0/my_bf_accidentally_triggering_me/
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I feel like a fake writing this anyway because I just sat and ate a sandwich and a chocolate bar at 9.30am....ive started a new job where I get up at 5 and it's really manual. It's making fasting so difficult (I was previously fasting between 7pm and AT LEAST 12pm, if not to 2-3pm)
Anyway my bf knows I've been calorie counting because I've been making it pretty obvious and using food scales/ regular scales again (I ordered them off Amazon- not discreet)
He kind of knows I have a past of disordered eating but I don't think he gets it because I was never smaller than about 120lbs/ 54kg unless I was really sick
He keeps trying to encourage me with my weight loss saying things like...about watching my calories, or what I should be eating, or seeing my MFP total and saying "Still, even though you ate badly it's not come out too bad, you can make it up by the end of the week"
He's also been praising how I look with weight loss/ how dedicated I have been and even how calorie counting improves my maths skills...
On the opposite side my friends are doing the whole "concerned" thing. He says they're "acting like I have an ED" when in reality I'm being "healthy and sensible"
I'm of two minds here. If I don't tell him I a) keep getting triggered to restrict and be strict on myself, b) don't have to deal with him being worried and babying me
But I also have that weird, selfish thing of "I want him to know"? If you get what I mean
Ugh I've been feeling shit lately over this. I have been losing weight but I've had my period (kind of...i have a coil implant) so I've been bloated and craving chocolate like mad
sorry for ranting :P
[Rant/Rave] Just when you think MyFitnessPal canāt possibly steal more screen real estate from you..
/u/exgravitas [F/25/160 | CW ā¹ļø | GW 48.5]
Created: Thu Mar 15 02:33:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84kxxo/just_when_you_think_myfitnesspal_cant_possibly/
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[removed]
[Help] Restriction is exasperating my depression
/u/genuislab
Created: Thu Mar 15 02:26:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84kwy6/restriction_is_exasperating_my_depression/
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I realized today that my dependence on food is really what *keeps me going.* Which is stupid because it makes so much sense how would I have not known that before?
I come from a family that's really apprehensive about mental illnesses and I spent a good portion of my life passing off my depression as laziness.
Several years later and after a good talk with my parents I'm fortunate enough that they've changed their minds on mental illnesses.
I'm going through an extremely hard time with my depression and I've finally decided that this is where I think I should really put my foot down and get professional help for it.
I realized that because I've taken the one thing that gives me some form of happiness I've hit my all time low.
All I do is lay in belt exhausted and obsessed with this reddit or looking up ways to keep my mind on track losing weight but it just makes me feel even worse and losing the pounds doesn't even feel as satisfying as it used to.
There was a point where I was doing a normal restriction and exercise where I was eating around 1,000 calories. (I am short) and I felt completely fine.
I know deep down inside the answer is: to just eat more even if the weight loss will be slower but for some reason every time I tell myself: "I think you need to increase your calorie count for the better." I believe it for a second and then suddenly disregard it by thinking of a million reasons as to why eating 100-500 calories a day is better.
Somebody please help persuade me to up my calorie count. Please convince me that eating 1,000-1,200 calories is a better option because it's maintainable and won't make me feel like absolute shit 24/7.
[Help] Hey how do I stop counting calories lol
/u/Bloppitt [5'2 | 131 | -42 lbs | 23F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 02:15:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84kv98/hey_how_do_i_stop_counting_calories_lol/
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I canāt stand the meatheads and armchair dietitians on LoseIt or other fitness subs. They donāt get the mental illness aspect of a true ed. I am in therapy and have started to feel less suicidal about my ED, but I donāt know wtf Iām gonna do to lose weight without counting calories... I have been doing this for 7 years now and am scared to stop. Through obesity and anorexia I was always counting calories. And I canāt eat clean. Please help
[Help] New here. I wanna lose weight just so my ex regrets leaving me. Can i get some tips?
/u/gfthrowaway22
Created: Thu Mar 15 01:06:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84kkvc/new_here_i_wanna_lose_weight_just_so_my_ex/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I am very self-destructive
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 97| 17.6 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 00:57:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84kjec/i_am_very_selfdestructive/
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It's late and I'm filled with too much caffeine and senna tea. This is just a public rant. TL;DR: I'm a mess, I just don't feel it.
I've been engaging in some behaviors that aren't the best for me over this past month. I literally haven't attended a full day of school since early February, quit my part-time job, both started and stopped taking 40mgs of Prozac, and started cutting, which I've never had the desire to do until last month. Yet in spite of all this, I feel almost fine. It's not even like I'm jaded, it's just that none of this is seeming to set off sirens in my head.
I binged and purged for the first time in over a month, which I am very upset about. Last year this time, I had been a very rough b/p cycle. I'd come home, have a huge fucking snake meal, purge it up, and then restrict until I repeated it again the next day.
Maybe it was just the difference in weight (110 at my highest versus 76 at the lowest), but this had been way worse than fasting for days at a time. I felt so much shame and disgust for myself. I was bloated all the time and I felt like shit. It went on like this for months.
I don't know, I think I'm just afraid that with all the other self-destructive shit I'm doing, I may fall back into another b/p cycle. I don't want it at all, so it's been about 1,000 calories and making myself take 25,000+ steps a day.
I'm just feeling so terrible about this binge, you know. The purging "helped", but I still felt like shit so I drank a fuckton of my poop tea, mixed also with black tea for the caffeine. So this jusy leaves me a wide awake wreck.
Oof.
[Rant/Rave] just had halo top for the first time
/u/isaezraa [5'3 | CW 110 | GW 110-100 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 00:49:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ki4y/just_had_halo_top_for_the_first_time/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone else do this?
/u/bloomoonxx [5"8 | BMI: 19 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 00:41:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84kguc/does_anyone_else_do_this/
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This is horrible and a really fucked up thing to do but sometimes I look at ED recovery pages on instagram for motivation to lose weight. I just look at how much weight these girls have gained and I think to myself I will never let myself go like that. It really motivates me and helps me stay on track. I know how immature and wrong this is but I still do it lol.
[Rant/Rave] Things my bf says
/u/Phiohtrue [5'4.5 | 135 | 23? | -20 +10 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 15 00:32:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84kfhk/things_my_bf_says/
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Disclaimer: I love this guy a lot, he means well, and heās genuinely a great person, especially for supporting me through everything.
But, he just says the darndest things:
āI just love the way your ass ripples when I spank youā
Excuse me? Ripples?? Like a sack of fat???
āWow a lot of the girls here are, like, extremely skinnyā
āYou can either learn to accept your body, or you can take steps to change it until youāre happy. Set a goal and a deadline and just do itā
āThose sound like excusesā
And they were.
So after about half a year of self-imposed recovery (which morphed into mild binging ugh), I think Iām back šø
[Rant/Rave] Eating alone feels like a waste but eating around others gives me anxiety
/u/skinnyfuckup
Created: Wed Mar 14 23:22:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84k420/eating_alone_feels_like_a_waste_but_eating_around/
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I hate eating when Iām by myself because it feels like a missed opportunity to prove to people that Iām normal and actually eat. If no one is there to see it then itās just a waste of a meal. On the other hand, I hate eating when Iām with people because it gives me ridiculous anxiety and I donāt get to use my weird ED behaviors and I canāt even enjoy the food because Iām freaking the fuck out.
Solution? Donāt eat at all but spend every possible second thinking about and obsessing over food.
[Help] Easter candy temptation is driving me CRAZY
/u/papsandwiles [5"4 | 115 | 19.7 | 20F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 23:21:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84k3zp/easter_candy_temptation_is_driving_me_crazy/
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I have a huge sweet tooth and a beyond that a huge love for chocolate. I haven't had candy/chocolate in a loong time and now that all the Easter candy is on display I'm having a reeeaaallly hard time resisting. Does anyone know any low cal (preferably chocolatey) alternatives to the hoads of Easter candy??
[Rant/Rave] [Trigger Warning: Self Harm] Relapsing into self harm and I donāt know where else to turn. Hoping you guys understand...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 14 23:19:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84k3hm/trigger_warning_self_harm_relapsing_into_self/
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[deleted]
[Other] So my ex best friend is stalking me?
/u/That_1bitch
Created: Wed Mar 14 23:10:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84k206/so_my_ex_best_friend_is_stalking_me/
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This is off topic. Completely. But i need to rant about this somewhere and i feel so creeped out right now and you guys are so supportive and i love you all.
Back in september i got into a big fight with who was then my best friend since first grade. We stopped talking and she blocked me EVERYWHERE. facebook, insta, the whole nine yards. A couple days ago i found out she was talking to my brother (theyre still friends) and mentioned she found my boyfriends facebook while laughing about her "stalking skills".
I know it sounds really dumb to be unsettled by but i havent heard a word from this girl in months and now shes scouring social media to find my boyfriends profile? Wtf? I know they have NO mutual friends and I have ALL my accounts set to max privacy and im not even friends with my bf on facebook (neither of us really go on there anymore). The most i use is instagram and i dont even have my brother on there and its set to private AND I deleted all of our mutual friends a while ago.
It freaks me out even more because we go to the same school too, luckily its a large university tho and we have different majors so ive never seen her there. But what the fuck??
Again i know its stupid to be unsettled about but it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Anyway thanks for letting me rant and thanks to anyone that read this far.
[Discussion] [Discussion] Helping my nephew
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 135lbs|21.3|-50lbs|F|29yrs]
Created: Wed Mar 14 23:03:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84k0q7/discussion_helping_my_nephew/
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I've had a shit night. Basically, my nephew lived with us for 7 months, then he moved in my my husband's ex-wife to be closer to his dad. (So dysfunctional)
My family would complain about his eating and hypocrisy about food. It bothered me and I told them, but they still complained. I was at the hospital (unrelated) and my husband and his ex went on a long back and forth about my nephews eating.
My nephew is struggling with bulimia. All the signs and issues are there. Everyone complains about it and I just can't listen to them any more. They are such judgemental ass holes about this. I told my husband I had an eating problem once and he told me "YOU THINK you have one" and I never said anything again.
My heart is breaking for him and me. I don't know how to reach out to a kid half my age, I don't know how to talk to my brother in law. I feel like everyone is going to dismiss me. But I know what he's going through. It's getting worse. I'm the biggest hypocrite in the world - I want to talk to him and support him and get him help...while I'm eating only one dinner every other day.
But he's only 16.
How does a 30 year old woman he's never had a conversation with help a 16 year old boy going through a shit storm and has bulimia?
food fears instead of fear foods
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 22:53:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84jywa/food_fears_instead_of_fear_foods/
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https://i.redd.it/sr2vregryul01.png
[Rant/Rave] If you get skinnier you'll want to leave me (I'm so confused)
/u/Douchebagette
Created: Wed Mar 14 22:48:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84jy0o/if_you_get_skinnier_youll_want_to_leave_me_im_so/
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My girlfriend told me this last night and I'm baffled. So from what we can infer:
1) she neither listens nor actually pays attention to me
I've told her many times (truthfully) that I haven't lost any weight in the past few weeks, and have gained back to 110 which is within a healthy range.
2) apparently any concern she has about my health or anything just has to do with her own self interest.
I think that latter is the most upsetting. I honestly don't think I could take anything she has to say seriously know this.
I'm in a weird place tonight fellow whisps weirdos and wackos, a weird place.
[Help] What do I eat now that I hate food?
/u/justhush1 [5'4" | UGW: dead |]
Created: Wed Mar 14 22:37:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84jw1t/what_do_i_eat_now_that_i_hate_food/
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I'm at a point where literally no food appeals to me. I have gone 3 days without eating anything, but I know I'm at the end of my rope with starving myself. Every food I can think to eat, safe or not, just absolutely has no appeal to me. I started working out, but now I have to put that on the back burner till I find some nutrition source? Any ideas? I was thinking those Atkins shakes, is anyone familiar with those?
[Discussion] How many grams of protein do you guys eat a day?
/u/lonelysweetpotato [5'7 | 140 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 22:07:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84jqbr/how_many_grams_of_protein_do_you_guys_eat_a_day/
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I used to not care about protein but after finding out how a lack of it can really damage your body and make your hair fall out...I care now. At the moment I'm getting 26g of protein for around 300 calories. I could get more but I need my morning coffee with cream and popcorn at night while I'm watching K-dramas.
[Rant/Rave] I know I'm racing toward defeat but this completely irrational sense of hope won't let me stop.
/u/FromMyIvoryTower [5'3 | CW: 100 | BMI: 20.2 | GW: 80 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 21:51:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84jn85/i_know_im_racing_toward_defeat_but_this/
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After the worst year of my life ended, I had a few perfect months, arguably the only good ones I've had since I was too young and stupid to even be capable of unhappiness and self-loathing. They were sublime. It felt like the world burst open and gave me everything I've ever craved. I almost felt loved. I had an identity. I wasn't immersed in a seemingly neverending emotionless haze. If those months hadn't fulfilled me so much, I'd either be dead or nonfunctional now. As abruptly as those months came, they disappeared. Everyone who shared those months with me has moved on with their beautiful lives. Why wouldn't they? They'll have more experiences, better ones even, and I doubt I will. There's this naive part of me that believes I have to sink to the bottom again before I earn the right to feel that good. If I can replicate the unadulterated misery I felt before those months happened, maybe they'll come back, and this time I won't be undeserving. When I'm sick enough there'll be nowhere to go but up. If I can't go up, my hope will be crushed for the final time and I'll finally have the courage to kill myself. If I succeed, my body would be unrecognizable and so would my soul. I want to travel back in time and snarl in my moronic face that I shouldn't get comfortable, that I don't deserve to be happy, that this won't last, that I should savor every moment. I have zero dignity left. If there was anyone I could beg on bended knees to make me feel less worthless, I would. I already know how this is going to end. Why am I doing this? My days are coalescing into a blurry mass and I can't even differentiate between them. This is so fucking stupid and childish.
[Help] inpatient but not for ed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 14 21:33:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84jjli/inpatient_but_not_for_ed/
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[deleted]
[Help] Losing 100 lbs.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 14 21:25:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ji2y/losing_100_lbs/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1pbofz-2RQ
[Rant/Rave] I want him to look at me like that again
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Wed Mar 14 21:15:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84jfxq/i_want_him_to_look_at_me_like_that_again/
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Sometime last year I had lost a significant amount of weight. Like 10 lbs or so. I remember a specific day out in public, my SO couldnāt keep his eyes off me. He kept putting his hands on my hips/wrapping his arms around me. The way he was staring at me just made me feel really beautiful. I asked him why he was acting that way all the sudden, which he responded: āyouāre thinner.ā
Whenever I think about this I get super triggered and I want to slice off all the lard on my body. That sort of attention is very addictive.
[Rant/Rave] I wish I didnāt tell my mom about my eating disorder
/u/chiiloveee
Created: Wed Mar 14 21:11:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84jf3t/i_wish_i_didnt_tell_my_mom_about_my_eating/
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Sheās always complaining and judges me when I eat too much, then complains I eat all her food when she offers it to me. And she always uses it against me and I donāt even want her to talk about it! She tells everything to her friends too. She stresses me out and makes me eat more. And Iām tired of my family telling me ādonāt throw upā and they act like somehow Iām hurting them and theyāre acting really selfish
[Help] Starting My 1st EC Stack Tomorrow
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Wed Mar 14 21:09:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84jesj/starting_my_1st_ec_stack_tomorrow/
---
So I take caffeine pills a few times a week, but I have a pretty high caffeine tolerance and they don't help a lot. So today I bought a pack of Bronkaid. I plan on starting EC stacking tomorrow because I have been bingeing uncontrollably lately.
Ive browsed a lot of the threads on here about EC stacking but I still have a few questions:
-Do you have to take any amount of food with EC stacking or is it ok on an empty stomach?
-Do I have to take aspirin with an EC stack? (I've heard of ECA stacking)
-How often a day/week do you EC stack?
Thank you so much for any feedback. š I'm sorry if this information is already posted somewhere.
[Rant/Rave] H o w . Extremely long and winded.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 14 20:52:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84jb2a/h_o_w_extremely_long_and_winded/
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[deleted]
[Help] How to tell the difference between lanugo and normal hair?
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 69.6 -70.4 lbs | 13.2-3| forced into recovery]
Created: Wed Mar 14 19:44:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ivxc/how_to_tell_the_difference_between_lanugo_and/
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I have hair all over my body - on my boobs, my stomach, everywhere. It's not very noticeable tho, and idk how to tell if it's lanugo.
[Goal] my thigh dimples are gone!!!
/u/conspicere [š 5'3.5" | CW: 110 | GW: šÆ | š]
Created: Wed Mar 14 19:25:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84irvc/my_thigh_dimples_are_gone/
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ladies and gents, I just reached a goal that I did NOT even know I had!!
so usually when I sit down and cross my legs in a certain way, I would get three little dimples in my left thigh due to all the fat down there.
I randomly remembered this today (thinking about how thick my legs are usually just makes me sad) when I itched that exact part of my thigh and there were no dimples! just skin!!! šāØ
I've had a rough past 36 hours due to binging and stress and my anxiety levels are through the ROOF but at least I have this š
sending good vibes to everyone reading about my little victory š
My scale is broken
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 19:20:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84iqmn/my_scale_is_broken/
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[removed]
Note to self:
/u/KaleleBoo [5'6 | 147 | 24.6 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 19:19:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84iqfp/note_to_self/
---
[removed]
[Other] Step 1: Tell your bf you left something at home so you have to leave
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 18:52:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ik6p/step_1_tell_your_bf_you_left_something_at_home_so/
---
Step 2: Stop at McDonaldās on the way home and get a 10 piece chicken nugget meal, two double cheese burgers, and a chocolate shake
Step 3: Get home, eat it all, and throw up.
Step 4: Drive back to his house with your āforgottenā thing and act like everythingās fine!!!
Iāve done this 4 times in the past week, itās fucking ridiculous. I want to stop binging so bad!!!!!!! But all I think about is food!!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Accidentally Looked in the Mirror
/u/cluelessnumber7
Created: Wed Mar 14 18:41:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ihmk/accidentally_looked_in_the_mirror/
---
Had a good morning, was on track. Started to get dressed for a scheduled physical and made the mistake of checking the mirror before I left.
Wide thighs. The rolls that afternoons of binging built. Cheek bones and jaw line buried behind so much fat.
Immediately got undressed, skipped the appointment and retreated to bed. Then my SO bought me ice cream as a pick me up. I stupidly ate it. Waited too long to purge, so that's that. Day completely ruined.
Am I sabotaging without realizing it or am I just that weak? Or maybe I've just given up on myself? Every morning goes so well, but by the afternoon it's like I just can't control myself. I hate what I've done to my body. I miss being thin and wearing nice clothes and people thinking I'm attractive. I don't even recognize myself anymore I look so different.
Wght this time last year: 134lbs
Today: 188.8lbs
Just writing this to get it out. Sorry for the depressed novel.
[Rant/Rave] No one has control over me other than myself now.
/u/MissNietzsche
Created: Wed Mar 14 18:30:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84if2y/no_one_has_control_over_me_other_than_myself_now/
---
I'm completely independent now, and no one else's opinions have very much effect on me:
- There is no boy I currently have profound feelings for that I'm trying ever so hard to impress.
- My sister's cold remarks are inconsequential, as she has no say over my life whatsoever. My parents are the only family members that still have some control over my life. 1) Even that will fade soon enough, and 2) Their love for me is unconditional and independent from my appearance.
- I don't have to worry about being attractive enough for a future mate. Though I would prefer to have a partner and family one day, I can be alone until death if needed.
- Appearance matters in no other situation.
I don't have to be a slave to the body I didn't choose anymore. Of course, I'd still like to reach my fullest physical potential, as I'd like to reach lots of maximums about myself, but if push comes to shove, I have enough potential to do something with my life other than to worry about another person's opinion on my appearance, even if that person was a potential husband.
I am free.
[Other] Me: has suicidal thoughts, doesn't utter them out loud
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 14 18:04:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84i8p0/me_has_suicidal_thoughts_doesnt_utter_them_out/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84i8p0/me_has_suicidal_thoughts_doesnt_utter_them_out/
[Discussion] I Tried the Raved Halo Top
/u/bunntendo [Height5'7 | CW131 | BMI21 | UGW110 | GenderNB]
Created: Wed Mar 14 18:01:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84i83i/i_tried_the_raved_halo_top/
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it was sooo good !! on my way home from the store i was just so excited to try it bc ive heard so much about it. i tried the cinnamon roll and the mochi green tea one, i took 1 bite of the mochi one to try it and im saving it for later, i finished all of the cinnamon roll one already. 100% worth it
[Intro] hi:)
/u/lollemons [5'6 | CW 111 | 17.99 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 17:58:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84i7e2/hi/
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hi guys! iām sure these intro posts arenāt the most interesting but i want to contribute & be a part of this community instead of lurking finally!
iāve had disordered eating on and off since the beginning of high school. now, iām in my second year of college and on medical leave due to depression. whenever my depression worsens so does my insecurity & all that so i get back into my heavily restrictive habits. iāve been losing/gaining the same 20 pounds it seems over and over from restricting and binging.
after browsing this subreddit i really feel less alone. i havenāt talked about my habits with anyone except for one off comments to my close friends which were obviously met with backlash. iām excited to be a part of this super supportive community and have people to talk to about this!!
thanks for reading all that ya cutiesš (also sorry for formatting iām on mobile)
[Other] Walking out of the darkness, and finding freedom.
/u/LostBrokenAndAfraid [Over it.]
Created: Wed Mar 14 17:54:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84i6fc/walking_out_of_the_darkness_and_finding_freedom/
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*I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.* - Invictus
My entire life has been spent in the shadow of crippling doubt combined with an obsession with food.
When I read about addicts and the very nature of addiction itself, there's nothing better that I've ever been able to identify my own thoughts and behavior with.
At the beginning of a psychology class I was taking last semester, I connected super well with my professor. Being a recovering alcoholic, he and I had quite a few discussions concerning addiction.
One day, during his office hours, I completely broke down. I guess the floodgates that had been holding everything in for so many years finally gave out. I revealed that I'd been struggling with bulimia for the past four years, and an addiction surrounding food my entire life. I told him that when I was in high school and I tried talking to my other male friends about it, I was told I didn't have a real problem and that I just needed to get over it. I told him about all of the times that I tried opening up to family members about it, which was usually met with "Well, you probably wouldn't have these issues if your heart was right with God." (My parents are fundamentalists and I've been an atheist since I was 16.) I told him that I was entirely unable to foster or maintain any form of platonic or romantic relationships with anyone because my life was entirely dominated by this disease. I told him I didn't know what to do anymore, and that my entire world seemed to be crashing around me.
He understood, better than anyone I'd ever spoken with before. This random psychology professor, who I'd known for about a month up to this point, cared more about my well-being and safety than anyone else I knew.
I got connected with some medical professionals through my University's health services system. I'm final being open about what I've been dealing with.
The past couple of months have been some of the most carefree of my entire life. I've been able to study. I've been able to run. I've been able to communicate with my fellow students and actually make some new friends.
I do not regret the experiences that I've had. I do not regret the struggles that I faced. I do not wish that I had never dealt with this to begin with. If I lost my memories and the experiences that I had with bulimia, I wouldn't be me anymore. This is my life. I can't change it, throw it away, or make it something else. These experiences are my own - and I can either lament them, or I can use them to forge a new path towards the future.
I'm going to school to become a Dietitian, and I'm about one year off from graduating. When I become one, I will dedicate every fiber of my being to combating these diseases that ravage the body and mind. I will use my experiences to empathize, sympathize, and improve the lives of others. Without bulimia, I could never have achieved this.
It's been about four months since I finally decided to
It feels so good to finally become the best version of myself, no longer crippled.
I will never forget who I was or what I dealt with for so long. How every day was an uphill battle. The obsessions. The anxiety. The depression.
You - yes, the person reading this. You inspire me so much. I admire you for your strength of will and spirit. I want you to know that there are people out there who care about you. Who understand the pain you feel and the hopelessness that you've faced, and they want to help you climb from the depths of sorrow and misery.
If anyone ever needs someone to talk to about your struggles, please shoot me a PM. I'll do my best to offer some words of encouragement and empathy, and maybe help you with what you're experiencing to the best of my ability.
Never forget - you are important. You matter. Your pain and experiences are valid, no matter who tells you otherwise.
[Other] Update!
/u/LynnieTheLemon [4'11" | CW: 118 | BMI: ?? | WL: -2 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 17:53:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84i67u/update/
---
First things holy shit the support was over-fucking-whelming! You all are the real MVPs. It makes me feel even more comfortable and welcomed in this sub. Also to clarify, I'm his Primary Care Assistant but not professionally. He's in a wheelchair and I help him do stuff. So no he is not my client, just my boyfriend.
I talked my feelings out with my SO and he apologized for making me feel bad and that he loved my body. I didn't let up and told him that he obviously doesn't if he's willing to say something so disrespectful, knowing full well that I am gonna go on a hunger strike because of it. He agreed that he was an ass for saying it to me and he's promised to never do it again. He's also going to be exercising with me more. It's a step forward and I feel a ton better than I did when I posted last.
HOWEVER, he's making me EAT. And I know he cares and he doesn't like when I restrict but seriously... Food is my enemy and he's watching me eat so I don't chew and spit or hide it in the fridge. That sounds like something super stupid to complain about but it kinda gets on my nerves because I feel so piggish when I eat. It makes me feel good he doesn't want me getting too skinny but at the same time, I'm not skinny enough and I want to be as skinny as I can be. That probs doesn't make sense but I really wish he wouldn't worry too much about it.
[Help] Why do I keep eating when I'm alone?
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Wed Mar 14 17:52:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84i62a/why_do_i_keep_eating_when_im_alone/
---
I don't feel lonely or sad, but as soon as I have the house to myself I feel relieved and eat something asap. I'm not even hungry. How the fuck do I stop this? I can't be with people 24/7. I like my alone time too much lol.
[Rant/Rave] Lost my appetite entirely [gross story inside]. Supposed to be recovering. I think I'm gonna let myself relapse for a few weeks. Idk why. I know my life will unravel but, I'm just so tired of food & can't fight this lack of appetite.
/u/2fckk
Created: Wed Mar 14 16:46:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84hphz/lost_my_appetite_entirely_gross_story_inside/
---
I had a nightmare last night. I'm coming off xanax and marijuana (weening off) so I'm having REM rebound and with it, very vivid dreams. So far they've just been like, vivid sex dreams, and dreams about my past.
But last night I had a dream that a 6-foot tape worm (very skinny, pale white) came out of the vent in a hotel room and attempted to enter me at any hole in my body. I ran from it and it would wrap itself around me tightly and I'd have to pry it off and feel its slippery, rubbery body. I'd throw it and sprint away and it would lunge at me and wrap itself, trying to enter my face. I mean, it was fucking horrific. I was screaming for people in this "hotel" to help me and they'd say "don't worry about it, it's just a worm dude". I'd try to escape it in elevators and it would slither through the tiniest of cracks because it was so skinny. Ugh. I woke up nauseated as fuck. I can't stop thinking about the texture of it and how tight it felt around my arms and legs and torso and about it's round, sharp teeth head. It wasn't slithering straight like a snake or a worm does. It was leaping and lurching and twisting toward me and it looked so fucking unsettling.
So I'm eating very little and yeah, I feel dead inside. I feel so tired, I feel so drained and lifeless and personality-less. I don't feel any sort of 'restriction high' this time around. But idc. I care but idc, you know?
The dream was horrifying but it also was proof that I slept and for that, I'm happy. Sleep is rare when you're coming off benzos and weed and when you're attempting to disconnect from your only coping mechanism which is restriction.
:'D
[Help] Visiting home... how to deal with worried family?
/u/Appropriate_Arrival
Created: Wed Mar 14 16:36:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84hmr8/visiting_home_how_to_deal_with_worried_family/
---
Hi, let me start off by saying I love the kindness on this subreddit. I feel like you are all my friends, as sad as that sounds, especially considering I never post here (and am so cowardly I had to make a throwaway account for this question).
ANYWAY, I live a few states away from my family, and will be going home next week. I've been slowly losing weight (would be faster if I didn't binge at least every week), and I know it's going to freak them out. The last time I saw them, at Christmas, I got a few worried comments and snide remarks, with a BMI around 19. I've since lost about 10 pounds. I'm happy with where I am and plan on maintaining here (famous last words, I know), but I'm nervous that they're going to freak out when they see me. I really don't think I look that skinny, but I spent most of my life on the chubbier side, so I think it's partly the comparison to my old look that's "worrisome," to quote my SIL. I really, really want this to be a happy visit home, and not have any focus on my body.
Can anyone relate? And if so, any tips for ways to ease their worrying, shut down the conversation, or even things I should wear or do that will make things less awkward?
[Rant/Rave] I finally broke my binge cycle! :)
/u/hanabira [5"1 š¼ 120 š¼ 100 š¼ 23F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 16:23:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84hjcr/i_finally_broke_my_binge_cycle/
---
After a five month binge cycle (since October; I can remember exactly when and what set off this madness), I've been able to stop binging and got rid of those urges for the past two weeks! It's not THAT much of an accomplishment, since it's only two weeks, but I haven't been able to escape that loop of restrict all week, binge like I'm possessed loop I was stuck in before. I'm super stoked!
I went from 115lb in October to 124lb as of this morning, so...well...it fucking sucks seeing that number so high up, but it's less damage than I thought five months would have had. I can't wait to start seeing it creep back down again.
Just wanted to share this little accomplishment with y'all. <3
[Rant/Rave] boyfriend rant
/u/jiangguo [5'7" | CW 125 | BMI 19.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 16:10:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84hftu/boyfriend_rant/
---
i literally love him so much but jesus Christ can boys be stupid!! before this i hadn't told him about my eating disorder (and only that i struggle with eating sometimes) so i *guess* it's not entirely his fault for upsetting me but Anyways. he mentioned last night that he was going to go on a stupid restrictive diet to try to lose weight even though i've pointed out to him hey. you could just eat like you already do in smaller portions and you'd be totally fine. i know he's just kinda doing it to see if he can but he brought it up again this morning and it was just so triggering to listen to him talk about. i told him he was being stupid and that this was coming from someone w an ED and he didn't even acknowledge that. he just mentioned that he was gonna just drink a ton of water to tune out hunger and i was just like... yea... that's what me and everyone else who starves themselves does to lose weight lol. he said he wouldn't mention it again but i don't trust that and i'm just super annoyed
[Help] Super gross question I'm so sorry
/u/ASAPfeline [5'5" | CW: 130 :( | 20F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 16:09:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84hfs5/super_gross_question_im_so_sorry/
---
I don't feel comfortable posting this in any of the keto related subreddits but I see people post about doing keto a lot here so someone might know. Does anyone know if keto impacts the taste or smell...downstairs the same way it makes your breath smell bad? I've been restricting with keto recently and I have plans tonight and want to know if I have anything to worry about. So sorry I know this is pretty off topic
[Discussion] DAE just stare into the fridge?
/u/lbredj [5'3" | 104 | BMI 18.1 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 15:50:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84hab9/dae_just_stare_into_the_fridge/
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Like, for wayy too long...
I just spent 5 minutes staring at all the food in my fridge trying to figure out if it was worth it to eat. Then I realized how stupid I looked standing there.
[Rant/Rave] That familiar hopeless feeling
/u/fllourr
Created: Wed Mar 14 15:35:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84h6gk/that_familiar_hopeless_feeling/
---
As Iām writing this I am part way into a late night binge, I know I shouldnāt, I am already feeling extremely disgusted yet I continue. I honestly cannot stop myself, i wish so badly (in my messed up mind I know I shouldnāt think this way) that I was able to purge but I cannot bring myself to do it. This is the first time in a while that I am feeling so mentally low as well as the uncontrollable binging element. A side topic, does anyone even do the chew/spit and does it even help or work I feel like Iād find myself swallowing accidentally. I just want to be able to restrict with no problem but my self control is almost non existent I see people here who have made massive progress whilst Iām still trying to lose the 10 pounds I put on a month ago. Iāve been trying to fast 16:8 but for the last 2 days Iāve always fallen short by around an hour. tomorrow I will try a 24 hour fast as I have work in the evening so I can probably skip dinner easily.
[Goal] Fasting for 3 days = 3lbs weight loss?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 14 15:09:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84gzia/fasting_for_3_days_3lbs_weight_loss/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84gzia/fasting_for_3_days_3lbs_weight_loss/
[Rant/Rave] Run to lose weight or lose weight to run?
/u/Rei1936 [5'2 | 130 | 23.8 | -3 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 14:13:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84gjav/run_to_lose_weight_or_lose_weight_to_run/
---
So a little about me: 5'2, 32F, 130lb. I've weighed around 110-115 most of my life but somehow gained 20lb in the past 2 years, probably due to take-outs and "happy weight" when I started dating my bf last year.
Anyway, I've been running casually for about 4 years now, and seriously training for races starting last fall. I haven't lost much weight since then, always fluctuating 128-133. I've been keeping my intake to <1200 during the week and <1600 on the weekend, but the only way I would lose weight is OMAD, which gives me little energy to train as I run in the morning and I'd eat my meal at lunchtime, and my net would be around 800. I switched to having something small (<400 cal) for dinner the night before a run and that helps, except I'm not losing weight again. It's extremely frustrating. I feel like the only way I can lose weight is by starving - liquids only or OMAD (or eat normally and then purging). Even though 3 years ago I managed to lose 15lb to my lw just by running, yoga and eating little (I wasn't even counting calories at the time). I feel like I should be able to do it again but it's not happening.
Now about losing weight to run. I recently read that there is an ideal "running weight" that each person has, and losing a certain amount would shave off your pace by a certain amount. I want to get faster, but does that mean I need to lose the weight first? How do I train to run better when I'm somehow unable to lose weight?
TL;DR: I've been running to lose weight, but now I feel like I need to lose weight to run better. I don't know if I can do both at the same time because I haven't been losing!
[Discussion] DAE always consider what they could've done differently while weighing yourself?
/u/DavidMitchellTurtle [5'8" | CW 193lbs | GW 115 | BMI 29.35 | Lost 85]
Created: Wed Mar 14 14:13:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84gj9l/dae_always_consider_what_they_couldve_done/
---
Today I stepped on the scale and I'd lost about 3lbs since Sunday and all I could think was "if I hadn't ate some of that take out, would it be exactly 3? If I had gone to the gym, how big of a different would've been made?"
But I never think about what I didn't do that would've made me gain lol my brain's a piece of shit
[Help] how to add tagline to your name?
/u/please1996
Created: Wed Mar 14 14:08:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ghmr/how_to_add_tagline_to_your_name/
---
noticed a lot of people have tags by their names that say their current stats. how can i do this?
[Discussion] Clothes That Make You Look Smaller
/u/bunntendo [Height5'7 | CW131 | BMI21 | UGW110 | GenderNB]
Created: Wed Mar 14 13:53:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84gdj9/clothes_that_make_you_look_smaller/
---
today my ootd is a 2XL navy adidas jacket, a thin grey long sleeve henley, and high waisted mom jeans, i looked in the mirror and i look so thin just bc 1.) its all kind of oversized 2.) the colors fit nicely together and kind of have a slimming appearance
i just suddenly was like :0 and i felt really good even though its kind of just an illusion of me being petite
do you have any clothes that do this that you therefore might wear more often?
EDIT: totally adding a pic just bc i think its pretty aesthetically pleasing as well https://imgur.com/a/GRJGJ
[Rant/Rave] WTF is my body doing
/u/dortuh
Created: Wed Mar 14 13:21:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84g4kf/wtf_is_my_body_doing/
---
Edit: Thank you so much everyone. You were all really helpful. I figured all of what you said were the factors causing it, but it was a tired early morning panic. I'm fasting today and gonna have some magnesium to get a number that hopefully won't piss me off tomorrow.
I've read a bunch on why "starvation mode" is bullshit, and I too believe it's bullshit. I did high restriction about 10-11 days in a row, and then yesterday I see a friend and we go out to eat. So I ate about 1,669 yesterday, and my fitbit said I burned over 1,700. I know the thing isn't perfectly accurate, but for my BMR being about 1300, I should have pretty much maintained. NO. I GAINED TWO FUCKING POUNDS. I shouldn't gain two pounds from eating a sandwich. I don't think it's just water or whatever. I used the bathroom and all that before stepping on. Why is this happening. Can I just never eat again or I'll lose all my progress? That's like two days of eating 200-300 calories just gone for a damn sandwich and fries. This shit makes me want to die.
[Discussion] Jolly ranchers are wonderful for days that I'm fasting and need to exercise
/u/hypothermi_a
Created: Wed Mar 14 13:19:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84g464/jolly_ranchers_are_wonderful_for_days_that_im/
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They're roughly 23 calories each, and that's what I burn off at the very least when I use my Bowflex machine. The sugar gives me energy for the exercise which is great, plus they taste sooooo good.
[Help] Scared to eat my Breyer's Delights
/u/quietpandaa [5'1 | 95.6 | 18.1 | 20F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 12:27:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84fp13/scared_to_eat_my_breyers_delights/
---
I just spent $6.29 on a pint of Breyer's Delights Vanilla Bean that I stumbled upon in Rite Aid while waiting for my prescription. I was so excited to try it because I'm a huge Halo Top addict, but haven't found any stores in my area that carry Breyer's or Enlightened. So I decided to splurge/treat myself (WILD spring break lmao).
But then I started reading reviews on /r/1200isplenty because I'm obsessed with reading other people's thoughts about food, and someone commented that the calories were underestimated for Breyer's. I know this was a big Arctic Zero controversy a while ago, but I've never really investigated the whole calorie count accuracy thing.
Now I'm scared to eat my Breyer's tonight, even though it was supposed to be such a big treat and it was expensive (student budget). I can't return it because I already shredded the receipt and I'm really socially awkward about that kind of stuff.
Has anyone had Breyer's Delights and can calm me down? Would really appreciate it :(
[Discussion] I want to cancel my appointment with the dietician already
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 173.6 | HW 197 | LW 122 | 30F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 11:46:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84fcqm/i_want_to_cancel_my_appointment_with_the/
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Have any of you been helped by a RD? I feel like I'm gonna go spend a bunch of money to be told what I already know. Meal prep. More fresh produce. No processed foods. 12-1400 calories a day. I know what I should be planning but I'm such a lazy slob I'm just not doing it. Is it even worth going?
On mobile please flair as question or discussion
[Rant/Rave] My SO keeps giving me mixed messages and it's driving me INSANE
/u/CaloriesInCaloriesIn [160cm| 56.8kg | 22.3 | -16kg | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 11:43:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84fbyt/my_so_keeps_giving_me_mixed_messages_and_its/
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First he tells me that I've gained weight and look fat. Which may be true (a month of binge/ over-eating will make you gain 3 kg sure) but he knows I hate it when he talks about my weight/ diet. Then a day later he says he wants to get all you can eat Chinese and I tell him "y' know I just got back on track with my diet, we shouldn't really go out to eat just because, you need to lose weight too, blah, blah, blah" but we go anyway. Good thing is at least I can seem to control myself at restaurants but this kind of thing usually means binge eating later in the day/ week. Then he starts talking about a porn star who is really "curvy but still has a flat stomach" and how "you're nearly there". Then the next day he's touching my boobs and stomach and saying "the belly is so much better, I've got to touch it before it's gone"
I have told him a million times that these kind of comments don't help me and usually just get me down, sometimes they even make me want to eat more. But he just doesn't get it. I can't even tell if he does it on purpose or if he just forgets/ thinks it's harmless fun. It just drives me crazy. Does he want me fat or not? Not that it matters, I'm losing weight because I want to, not to be more attractive for him. Anyway, sorry if this is difficult to read I just needed to vent.
[Rant/Rave] Keto started my CHSP
/u/wasted420
Created: Wed Mar 14 11:43:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84fbqe/keto_started_my_chsp/
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SW:160 CW: 142 GW: 115
I started doing the Keto diet in November and have lost 17 lbs so far but my cravings were insatiable. so about a month ago i started chewing up food and spitting it out. I love it so much but have yet to figure out how this is going to impact my weight loss. Itās become an obsession and if itās not going to stall me then itās one I donāt want to stop.
[Discussion] DAE: Feel guilt for "cleaning your plate."
/u/uncommonlyaverage [5'3" | CW 100 | UGW 92 |19F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 11:11:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84f2io/dae_feel_guilt_for_cleaning_your_plate/
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Whenever I eat anything I have to at least leave something unfinished from a plate of broccoli, to an apple, or even a bite of a slice of pizza if I ever have it. I just feel super guilty if I don't.
[Discussion] March 13th and 14th Questions of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 10:23:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84eoc6/march_13th_and_14th_questions_of_the_day/
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Ugh sorry everyone, Iāve got a lot going on.
13th: If you could add 1 hour to your day, what would you do with it?
14th: What is true?
Also RIP Stephen Hawking :(
[Rant/Rave] i thought i'd be there right now
/u/robotwithadream [5'7" | CW: 129.2 | UGW: 110 | xx | F |]
Created: Wed Mar 14 10:23:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84eo8n/i_thought_id_be_there_right_now/
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so for a little bit of background, i'm a dancer which makes my every flaw that much more apparent in day to day life. it should be so easy for me to restrict, i burn so many calories that if i just stuck to one fucking intake under 2000 i would be at my gw in a month...so that's what i'm going to do. my last performance at this place is in about that much time. and then i'll be set adrift, and i won't know what to do with my life. it'll be a hell of a lot easier if i could just look like a dancer you know? ugh i just wanted to get this out of my head. i used to dream of being where i am now, but i imagined my weight struggles gone, and myself pure, the weight a dancer should be. effortless. ive been stuck between 4000 and 400 calorie days lately and i'm maintaining and even gaining and i'm just SO SICK of being the fattest, the worst anywhere i go
[Tip] Getting food off your mind
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 14 09:58:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84eh18/getting_food_off_your_mind/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84eh18/getting_food_off_your_mind/
[Other] I really believe ill be able to permanently better myself this time
/u/ffj_ [5'5" | way too much | ridiculous | -18 | F | UGW: 77.2]
Created: Wed Mar 14 09:33:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ea2k/i_really_believe_ill_be_able_to_permanently/
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I have struggled with my relationship with food ever since I was in 4th grade. I have always been chubby, but at that point in time my father let me binge and binge my depression and abuse through food and I got to 200 pounds in 7th grade. I binged because I was unhappy and obese and being mistreated everywhere I went. I restricted but it never held longer than a few days, because I had no control over what I could eat or when (still kinda don't b/c I'm homeless) and it's a lot easier to binge than it is to restrict. Now I am finally able to take real steps to better myself. I have a doctor that doesn't try to coddle me and tell me that I'm fine to stay at my weight. My doctor prescribed me some medication that restricts hunger, I'm going to start EC stacks next month when I get money. Cutting out dairy, soda (still drink sparkling water) and red meat, walking if the place isn't further than a mile, and if time allows. I just want to be better and do better.
[Help] Recovery is weird. Im weight restored but my head is still not all there and im not sure how to improve
/u/Jemjon [5'7" | CW: 110 | BMI: 17.2 | GW: 108? | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 09:27:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84e8aa/recovery_is_weird_im_weight_restored_but_my_head/
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I havent posted here in forever. This is sort of a asking for advice and sort of a long rant. Ive been ~in recovery~ or remission or whatever for over half a year. Its my first time ever trying and I think im doing good. I don't know how much I weigh cuz my boyfriend has the scale locked in his car. And I sort of eat what I want, as much as someone who is terrified of being fat can. I have full calorie soda and don't break down when I go out to dinner and drinks. I don't count calories. Ive improved a lot, im a lot less crazy thank god. but im still not all there, mentally.
I don't feel like I look fat, but I feel like I could look better too. I kind of mostly miss the disorder. I feel like I was happier when I was 'improving' myself and accomplishing my goals, even though they were hurting me and would never make me happy for long. I still have a socially acceptable body but im not proud or happy about it if I didn't have to 'work' for it like I did when I was underweight. When I was working hard to eat the bare minimum every day, damn I was so proud and felt high at every weigh in, every time someone commented that I was thin. Now im average and I focus on other stuff like art and work. I miss the weird positivity/productivity that came from it i guess. And I felt like I was special and beautiful in a sad way, I know thats stupid and teenagery. Once a coworker said I looked like a dainty fairy and I practically exploded with pride. I don't look like that anymore, and I know I could again. Just gotta sacrifice my mental and physical health š I know it sucks all my energy out and makes me insane but at the same time it feels so right. its like 'my thing', my stupid fucking idiot thing you know?
I still have emotional breakdowns about this stuff. Had one last night. But the next day im like, well I was drinking and had to hang out with my family, they said I looked 'healthy' and pestered me about how im doing, I lied and said im doing fine but am I??? and the anxiety about that made me cry. And all the time im worried about how I look. Have my coworkers noticed ive gained weight?? do strangers think im thin?? has anyone noticed my thigh gap is gone?
I bet they don't give two shits and im just insane š
why am I so goddamned full of myself? why do i like looking sick?
I dont know how to further my recovery besides I guess to keep eating and try not to be so self centered. And I just got 3 pairs of 'slimming compression pants' so I can feel better about not having a thigh gap anymore. It would be crazy to get to a point where I dont even care if I do or not, I think thats the goal.
And I know I couldn't fully relapse anyways. I dont have a scale. My parents would flip their shit. I don't want to see how crazy I could get. But damn I miss it sometimes... Maybe I should try to maintain now or something so I can just get a pinch of that control I craved. Or maybe I should go full body positivity and eat whatever I want and try to learn not give a single fuck. I don't know...What do yall think I should do and sorry for worlds longest post!
[Other] My ED makes me feel healthy
/u/greentea-and-tears
Created: Wed Mar 14 08:28:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84dscj/my_ed_makes_me_feel_healthy/
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I was lucky enough to not really gain weight no matter what I ate (I was just always stuck between 63 - 65 kg) and as I felt good enough about my body I would just eat burgers, pasta or sweets. Now I eat fruits and vegetables and basically no sweets ever.
I also used to only drink coke. Now I drink water and tea.
And I never worked out. Now I try to burn at least a few hundred calories everyday.
I obviously know that EDs aren't healthy and that I'm just slowly but surely destroying my body. I am cold, I am fatigued and I do get dizzy a lot. But looking back on how I used to live I do feel healthier. I wouldn't say that I am happier but I do feel better about myself.
[Help] Anyone been to day care?
/u/xremembertobreathex
Created: Wed Mar 14 08:23:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84dr1s/anyone_been_to_day_care/
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Hi everyone. I'm a bit of a lurker on this sub, but I find everyone so supportive and it makes me feel just that little less alone.
I started getting help on an outpatient basis last year when I passed out at my boyfriends birthday. My weight has continued to drop and I'm going to visit a day patient centre in London on Friday (Nightingale).
I am shitting myself and already cancelled twice, but I'm making myself commit this time. Has anyone on here been into day care - what's it like?
Just any hint of what I can expect....
Love you all šš
[Help] Obese, binge eater, and in need of advice.
/u/yikesriley [5'3 | CW: 243.2 | UGW: <120| BMI 44.27 | LOST: 56.8 | He/Him]
Created: Wed Mar 14 08:16:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84dp86/obese_binge_eater_and_in_need_of_advice/
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[removed]
[Help] How do I get my mom to stop pressuring me to eat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 14 08:12:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84do38/how_do_i_get_my_mom_to_stop_pressuring_me_to_eat/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84do38/how_do_i_get_my_mom_to_stop_pressuring_me_to_eat/
[Rant/Rave] My subway artist sauce rant
/u/brita09234890235 [š vora: brita | 21.8 | 5'3.5 | CW 122.6 lbs | GW 110 lbs | 24 f]
Created: Wed Mar 14 07:49:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84dib6/my_subway_artist_sauce_rant/
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Maybe I'm being overly bitchy or moody. Whatever you want to call it. Idc. I just needed to rant.
I get to subway, the only safe outside place I go to, after a long ass day of fasting. Pile up my sub with veggies cuz I fuckin love them pickles and green olives. Then we get to the sauce. I get a bit if anxiety everytime we get to the sauce. Remembering back when I'd just drench my sub in chipotle and mayo as a kid. Nope, not anymore. Now, it's the standard 1 line of hot sauce. But today, I had to be fancy...
I ask for "one line of hot sauce"... okay they got that... great. But that's 0 calories. It's fine if they fuck that up and give you 2 lines. But now it's time to ask for the big kahoona. Been fasting all day just to add this bad boy to your sub. One line. And because I'm a fat ass, I got a foot long. So 80 nasty calories. That's okay. It's not too bad. It's less than 100. That's fine, right?
"One line of sweet onion please"
And this sandwich "ARTIST" decides to, I dunno? Be generous? Maybe she thinks it's like giving me extra green olives? Thinking: "you want just one line? Naw bitch, my manager ain't here. I'm giving you... THREE MAFUCKIN LINES!!!"
THREE.
FUCKIN.
LINES.
????
Are you dumb girl? Turned those 80 calories into 240 calories with a squeeze of the tube. And of course I have no backbone (and didnt want to seem weird over sauce) so I just sigh and pay for my sub, go home and give it to my brother instead.
rant over - ty for listening lovely people ily all š
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 14, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 14 06:12:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84cvvh/daily_food_diary_march_14_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 14, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday March 14, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 14 06:11:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84cvom/way_to_go_wednesday_march_14_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for March 14, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] I want to talk about my guilt.
/u/bi_narwhal [5'3|CW: 43.3 kg| BMI: 15.9|UGW: 35 kg | 15 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 06:11:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84cvno/i_want_to_talk_about_my_guilt/
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I don't like that I'm throwing away food. My mom makes it for me with just so fucking much love and devotion, and I'm throwing it away. I don't like me.
10 minutes
In fact, I'm literally crying as I'm typing this. My mom's just so nice, she wakes up in the morning and makes things hoping I'd eat, when in reality, I eat nil. I cover them up with tissues and and throw them in the trash. Just think about it, it's like having my activity-clad social book being used as a doormat at shireen's home. If my mom'd know, she'd be upset. She'd be angry, but she'd be more hurt than anything else. I hate myself. I want to be normal. I want to /eat/ normal. And I wish I could put these things to practice, but I can't really, can I? Who am I doing this for? /Why/ am I doing this? Do I love my mom more or my body image more? I love my mom to death, I would literally set myself on fire if it means that I'd get to help her out. Sometimes I think of her dying, and I end up whimpering like a kicked puppy. I don't want her to be upset, she shouldn't be upset due to me. What the fuck is my brain even? It's like a tornado except that's an understatement. It's a tornado with too much of everything. And I've let this tornado grow for too long that there's no antidote to neutralise it. I've been making awful decisions all along, refusing to ask for help, refusing to take into consideration all circumstances. I just want to sleep and never wake up again.
I want to be /gone/, so that my mom doesn't have to bear with the epiphany of me having been a total bitch-liar her whole life. Why would anyone want a kid like me? Why can't I fucking be normal?
[Rant/Rave] I'm a petty, petty bitch and am driven by my pettiness
/u/drunk_okapi [25F | 5'3" | cw 138.5 | gw 100]
Created: Wed Mar 14 06:08:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84cuz4/im_a_petty_petty_bitch_and_am_driven_by_my/
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Ok, I've got to share this with someone because no one knows about how I feel in real life (fat girl has to be nice and friendly and can't be a bitch, you know). I've got two people who are driving my weight loss without them knowing:
1. My friend's fiancƩ: I've met the girl a few times and I am not a fan. She is rude, self absorbed and an overall bitch (plus just super basic, which I don't like being around). She's maybe 5'8 and 180lbs right now despite her apparently going to the gym 6x/week. Well I was out with my friends and she was there and started talking shit loudly (she was white girl wasted) about me and how fat and ugly I was and no wonder why I'm single. So by her wedding in September, I will have hit my goal weight of 100lbs and am going to be so much prettier (hair done, makeup professionally done, tan, skinny, fit - you name it) than her at her own wedding. This thought alone has kept me from binging so many times this week.
2. My little sister. She's about 5'5 and is about 140. In pictures she's much prettier than me. She's also been vocal about how I shouldn't lose weight (I was near 170 two years ago thanks to binging and hated my job, no ex-boyfriend and life in general) and I know it's because she wants to be the pretty one since I'm the smart one. Not gonna happen. I'm going to be the pretty and smart one and when she comes to visit me this summer after I move to Europe next month for work, I'll look so much better than her everywhere we go.
So petty but so excited. Nothing keeps the appetite/binges at bay like petty goals.
Edit: typo
[Rant/Rave] That post-vacation weigh-in turned out better than expected! :D
/u/b_elle
Created: Wed Mar 14 02:47:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84bvzk/that_postvacation_weighin_turned_out_better_than/
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I have just returned from a 2 week trip with a friend to Amsterdam and Berlin. Pre trip weight was 93.0 Kg. I am 6 feet (ish)/ 181 cm and 26 years old.
On the trip I literally did not give one fuck about what was going into my mouth. Pizzas, bottles of wine, more beer than I have ever consumed in my entire lifetime... y'all ever had a mf stroopwaffel??? I ate an entire pack in one sitting on the train to Berlin. Literally anything that I wanted, in any amount, I ate.
It was TERRIFYING to eat so much, but if we're being honest I was high af 95% of the time in Amsterdam and couldn't not stuff my face. The hotel in Berlin had a breakfast buffet that was included with our stay and I am the cheapest mf out there, so I ate HEAPS of food in the mornings (croissants, cakes, eggs, so much cheese and smoked salmon) but would continue to eat throughout the day too. I cam home on Sunday and in my post vacation/I want my friend to come back depression I had a real, true binge for the first time in weeks (an entire bag of chips and dip, chocolate, idk just a bunch of garbage that I purposefully went out and purchased lol what a waste of money for this poor student).
Yesterday I started restricting again (~800 ish calories/day) and this morning was the day; I stepped on the scale - 94 kg. I gained 1 kg. Now I fully recognize that this sucks but I am OVERJOYED that over 2 weeks I have only gained back 1 kg. That's it. My massive intake of GARBAGE must have been balanced by the amount of walking I was doing (literally 20 000 + steps daily average).
Sorry this was so long, I just wanted to share :)
~the little voice in my head telling me that I would have lost heaps more weight had I continued restricting in combination with all the walking is being ignored thankyouverymuch~
[Rant/Rave] i did mean it when i said the little things
/u/waitupana
Created: Wed Mar 14 01:52:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84bnbu/i_did_mean_it_when_i_said_the_little_things/
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i had a breakdown again
someone said depression would be fixed with more exercise
i left something on the train and i had a breakdown until i found it
how the fuck am i this sensitive
[Discussion] How do you estimate calories when thereās no nutrition facts?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 01:15:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84bhpi/how_do_you_estimate_calories_when_theres_no/
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Eating out or packaging without nutrition information always stresses me out because the MFP counts can be so different. How do you all estimate it when you donāt have information?
If you're overeating your TDEE right now, cut calories to your TDEE (maintenance) before deciding to cut to a deficit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 14 00:40:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84bc1a/if_youre_overeating_your_tdee_right_now_cut/
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[deleted]
[Help] Just prescribed 150 mg Seroquel and worried about weight gain
/u/Cheskaz [5'8 | CW 135lbs | GW 110lbs | F 23 AUS | šCheskaz]
Created: Wed Mar 14 00:14:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84b7po/just_prescribed_150_mg_seroquel_and_worried_about/
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I had thought that it only brought on cravings which I was ready to deal with but apparently it slows your metabolism and just generally fucks up your weight. While the phrase doesn't really mean anything coming from my suicidal ass, I would literally rather die than have to deal with weight gain.
Does anyone have any experiences with Seroquel?
[Discussion] DAE look at themselves in the mirror and pretend theyāre pregnant after a big binge?
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Wed Mar 14 00:00:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84b54b/dae_look_at_themselves_in_the_mirror_and_pretend/
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Iāve done this quite a few times, I donāt know why I find it so funny. If I loosely cross my arms over the top half of my bulging bloated stomach I look like Iām pregnant since the rest of my limbs are so much smaller. š¤·āāļø
[Discussion] DAE feel like it's not a real problem?
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | 168# | 23.5 | -65# | F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 23:54:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84b46n/dae_feel_like_its_not_a_real_problem/
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I've noticed more than a few usernames like mine. I'm just wondering if others feel like whatever ED they have is not real or a real problem. I usually don't admit to anyone what is happening to me because I am so used to people telling me to just eat. Like it's that easy. I spent about a minute staring at a single nacho today while a coworker watched. And I couldn't explain why I act like that. As long as I am a currently healthy BMI I think it's all okay (even though I am NOT healthy). Sorry, I am in a bit of a severe restriction and can't think well.
TL;DR Just wondering how many people here feel like you don't have a real problem. Share any stories, please.
[Goal] Successfully completed 24 hours of fasting
/u/andromedagalaxxy [5'6.5 | 128 | 20.4 | -19 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 23:50:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84b3d7/successfully_completed_24_hours_of_fasting/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I have to pee ALL THE TIME
/u/betterthrow [5'7" | CW 164 | GW 140 | BMI 25 | -40 | 24F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 23:33:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84b0cv/i_have_to_pee_all_the_time/
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I drink a lot of water and diet soda when I'm restricting, and I think that plus the caffeine in my EC stack is why I have to pee so often, but it's driving me crazy. Like I seriously have to pee every couple hours.
I'm working a shift at work tonight where there has to be someone at the desk at all times, so in order to take a pee break I have to call out over the radio to get someone to come relieve me (from like 5 minutes away), so I can really only get away with peeing once or twice during my 8 hour shift and it is freakin' torture.
Can anyone relate?
[Goal] Getting a lower BMI than my "goal person"
/u/supergirlofsteel [Height 5'3"| CW 124 lbs | BMI 22]
Created: Tue Mar 13 23:27:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84azcu/getting_a_lower_bmi_than_my_goal_person/
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So for a long time now I've tried to stay away from having a goal person in mind. I tried recovering for a few years before relapsing. And I found that one person who was "goals" for me. While she's so much taller than me, her BMI was around 23. I'm finally 22! It's such an odd accomplishment but it feels so good. Just in these three months I've lost 10 pounds and if that's not motivating I don't know what is.
[Rant/Rave] I just need to get this off my chest.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 13 23:07:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84avni/i_just_need_to_get_this_off_my_chest/
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[deleted]
[Other] does anyone else sing "I just keep eatin', eatin'" in their head whenever they binge
/u/kingarthersixties
Created: Tue Mar 13 22:55:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84atcz/does_anyone_else_sing_i_just_keep_eatin_eatin_in/
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I sing "I just keep eatin', eatin' and eatin', eatin'" in the tune of Let's Get it Started by the Black Eyed Peas in my head whenever I'm binging lol
edit: ok i just learned about ProEDMemes so sorry if this broke rules for this sub djekdndk
[Rant/Rave] Wasting so much time and energy on preventing binges
/u/desperatetogo [165cm | CW: 61 | GW: 45 | -5kg | 17F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 22:24:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84amxo/wasting_so_much_time_and_energy_on_preventing/
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At this point I've spent countless hours watching videos and just looking at thin people trying to convince myself to not binge just this once. I've been watching so many kpop girl groups recently and just hating myself more in the process. Why can't I just control myself that much more? Why am I not capable of having any self control? I'd feel so much less shitty about myself if I could just stop eating like a pig but I always end up doing it anyways. Even after wasting so much time I still end up binging so what's the whole point anyway.
[Help] Weird, but I can't eat or think about food or calories. I feel nothing.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | went to treatment | send help | 24F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 22:00:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ahkk/weird_but_i_cant_eat_or_think_about_food_or/
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So since the 1st of the month I've been fasting and restricting. Lots of plateaus and fluctuations. But in the last week I've been going through major depression. Like, severe as fuck. I don't remember ever being this depressed and I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 14 (I am 24 now).
The depression has cut my appetite in half, if not more. Since Sunday I've been eating exactly 180 calories per day. Even those 180 calories make me feel like I'm gonna puke afterwards. I don't actually purge, it's just nausea. Nothing tastes good. I don't crave anything. I don't want anything. Eating feels like a chore.
I don't feel hunger during the day but I force myself to eat *something* so I can get schoolwork done. In the evening I do get hungry but I don't do anything about it because I'm too fucking depressed to feed myself.
This is not sustainable. Less than 200 calories a day for weeks, or even months on end is not sustainable. Even my ED brain knows that. *I* know this. But I feel like I can't stop. I leave for college at 9:15am and get home no later than 4:30pm and my roommate works 3pm to midnight. My biggest fear is that I'm going to faint and there won't be anyone to "wake me up" or whatever (if I'm unable to wake up naturally, idk, the last time I fainted I was around friends who immediately picked me up and put me in bed) and I'll just be lying on the floor for hours, totally unconscious.
I feel like I need a "reset" day to get my appetite back. But I don't know if it will work. I don't know if I can even do a reset day because I get so full so quickly on less than 200 calories. I'm at a point where I'm *terrified* of eating over 300 calories even. I was going to have half a Quest bar to get close to 300 but my depression wouldn't let me. If I did a reset day I would probably just try to eat one full proper meal. Preferably something I really, really enjoy.
Have any of you been through something similar? Where you are eating so little, you *need* a reset day to not...die? I mean I know I'm not going to die anytime soon but...you know what I mean.
Have you done a reset day so you don't completely fuck yourself up physically?
[Rant/Rave] just went to birthday dinner
/u/antelsa [5'11" | F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 21:39:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84ad3u/just_went_to_birthday_dinner/
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I'm visiting my family from another country, and today was my last day. So we went out for my mom's birthday dinner, even though it's technically tomorrow.
I had a corn tamale with red sauce and a side of rice and a plantain and beans. I ate it all. It wasn't a huge portion, and I don't feel excessively full, but I feel so freaking DIRTY afterwards. Which makes no sense, because I made a conscious decision to do it to make my parents happy. Not that it made them especially HAPPY, they just feel so wounded when I don't want to eat with them. Like it's a mark of my not liking them that I don't want to stuff my face in front of them and waste money at one of these stupid, frivolous establishments.
I hate stupid restaurants. I hate eating dirty things that others have cooked. Unfortunately, this isn't very socially acceptable, because EVERYONE MUST like stuffing his face at a restaurant, right?!? It's basically the go-to social activity for meeting anyone.
In the time I've been here, I've done the whole "Just order a water" or "just order a tea" thing when we go out. I am perfectly happy to do this, but everyone else has to freaking comment and make a big deal and make comments like YOU'RE judging THEM by not eating.
I wish social activities didn't revolve around food. I wish I could spend 3 freaking hours with a person or group of people without hearing "oh, do you want some?" "Oh, are you sure you don't want any?" "Oh, are you hungry?" "Oh, do you want to get some food?" NO! why do I have to say NO so many times before you understand it! I want to just scream at people, "I will never want to go out, I will never want a serving of your chocolate-grease-cheese-potato-homecooked-bullshit EVER, so please stop making me respectfully decline because the answer will always be NO!"
I feel so fucking angry that I have to pretend to be a normie just to make other people happy when all I want to do is to keep my own habits by myself in peace and never set foot in a dirty, disgusting restaurant ever again.
I guess I'm happy because I kept this all to myself and my mom had a good birthday, but the thought of having to do stuff like this for the rest of my life just to maintain social relationships is very annoying and disgusting. I just want to cut out the contents of my stomach and purify myself in bleach or something.
[Help] I Can't Stop Bingeing
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Tue Mar 13 21:04:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84a5rq/i_cant_stop_bingeing/
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This is so ridiculous. I just told myself less than a week ago that I was going to stop bingeing and doing this to myself. I don't know.. I'm PMSing right now which sucks. I did such a good job of restricting the past few days and today and yesterday I had to go and ruin it.
It's like, I'm so good at restricting during the daytime but suddenly at night I start craving everything and I just lose control. I probably ate 2000kcal today and I feel absolutely disgusting right now. I try to drink as much tea, coffee, and water throughout the day so I don't eat as much, but it hasn't been helping lately.
I've been gaining and losing the same 3-5 pounds over the past three months and I just want to lose more permanently. I'm considering EC stacking but I don't know.. I already take caffeine pills but they don't really so much for me. I just feel so out of control.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] University is triggering my ED
/u/squishyskeleton [Height 5ā5 | CW 52.4kg | BMI 19.1 | Weight Lost 20+kg | F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 19:55:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/849qjd/rantrave_university_is_triggering_my_ed/
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Or should I says the people at university are triggering my ED. I hate myself for this but whenever I see someone overweight eating it really kicks my ED tendencies into high gear, I am terrified of gaining weight and seeing someone larger than myself is a way my mind justifies not eating because clearly āif theyāre eating and theyāre that weight you shouldnāt be eating because then you would become that weight.ā
But not only that there are so many thin guys and gals around, I cant stop looking at people walking past me because their legs are tiny. I feel like absolute shit about myself because I feel so big and ugly compared to everyone else.
Itās really pushing me to restrict more and lose even more weight than my target goal. I donāt know anymore. I donāt know if Iāll stop losing weight even when I hit my GW. I think I would like to waste away as a skeleton. I guess the pressure of university and doing well isnāt helping that out either. The stress makes me want to stop living, but I donāt want to kill myself. But I could just lose so much weight that becomes inevitable anyway. I donāt know anymore. Iām not doing alright.
[Tip] Learn from my mistakes!
/u/SterileTechnique
Created: Tue Mar 13 19:39:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/849mt3/learn_from_my_mistakes/
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Hello, nurse long time AN-BP sufferer in fairly stable recovery for the past couple years here. I wanted to take this moment to talk to you all about diuretic/laxative abuse.
Now, diuretics/laxatives help you lose weight through water and stool loss, which may make you appear/feel temporarily smaller. but does not actually help you lose body mass or prevent you from absorbing the calories of your food. I knew all this but during a brief/bad relapse when my insurance company was threatening to terminate coverage for ED treatment I started abusing OOC laxatives and prescription diuretics prescribed to my dog. Yeah, it's fuckin sick, I was stealing medications from an elderly dog, but don't worry tho, she never missed a dose. I knew I wasn't really getting smaller but I was addicted to seeing that number on the scale go down and also wanted to harm myself physically as much as possible because I didn't feel like I deserved health. Part of me was hoping I would collapse and die dramatically as a final "fuck you" to my insurance company, which often happens to people who abuse diuretics/lax due to the severe electrolyte abnormalities that occur.
Well, that didn't happen. Insurance co ended up approving treatment coverage but I got admitted to the inpatient unit due to my shenanigans. I was inpatient for 11 days and I GAINED 9 POUNDS (114-123 on my 5'6" frame). My clothes still fit so it was mostly just fluids being replenished. I was so upset at how fast I had gained weight and realized all the torture I had put myself through was for nothing. Not only did I fail to maintain a lower weight/get smaller, my insurance co doesn't give a flying F if I kick the bucket. Probably would save them some money to write me off.
After that I pretty much swore off diuretic/lax abuse because it just wasn't worth it. However I still have sluggish bowels that do not like to give up the undigested chyme easily so I pretty much have to take a dose of Miralax (polyethylene glycol, a very safe stool softener that works by drawing some fluid into your intestine to keep things soft) everyday or every other day or I end up impacted with hard-ass stool in my rectum that I have to remove manually with my finger. This of course, perforated my hemorrhoids and so even though I've been washing my hands continuously I still can't get rid of the smell of shit & blood out of my fingernails.
I got off easy. I know people in treatment who ended up with paralytic bowels and now have colostomies or ileostomies. I know a girl with a rectal fistula who walks around with a tampon in her anus so her clothes don't get spoiled by the continuous anal seepage.
TLDR; diuretics & laxatives aren't worth it, they will not make you smaller, and can permanently fuck up your shitting habits for the rest of your life.
edit: I'm going to bed but I've been a registered nurse for about 7 years now studying to become a nurse practitioner. if you have any questions about diuretics/lax or ED stuff in general you can comment or message me, I'll do my best to answer (no I won't give personal medical advice) in the morning.
[Discussion] Am I bulimic
/u/Alien_Genetics_
Created: Tue Mar 13 19:31:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/849kwq/am_i_bulimic/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] 7lbs of masochism
/u/spaceeeeeeeeecadet [158cm | cw 52 | 21.54 | ugw 40 | 22F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 19:03:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/849ek8/7lbs_of_masochism/
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Iāve been extremely stressed, which triggered my depression, and inevitably a masochistic binge cycle. I feel like such a failure. I got down to 110 before all the life drama happened. Since then I gained 7lbs. Even though it puts me even lower than my starting weight, I feel even more disgusted knowing I gained. Iām 5ā2 , I can visibly see the weight on me and I just want to crawl into a hole. It takes so much to lose with a TDEE of 1300-1200 I wanna cry.
I tried telling my therapist about my body dysmorphia and disordered eating but I donāt think she believed me. Iām not underweight or overweight, which somehow feels more confusing. To be fair, I skirted around telling her, but to me it just screamed āIām not skinny enough to warrant real concern.ā Iām too scared to explore this further with her, and part of me doesnāt truly want to recover because Iām scared of becoming comfortable with a healthy weight. Wtf is wrong with me.
[Help] Office snacking
/u/greenso [5'11" | 136.5 | -43 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 18:58:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/849da8/office_snacking/
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I work for a company that offers unlimited snacks (Cheerios, Chex mix, trail mix, sugar free gummy ...butterflies, candies popcorn, pretzels, etc.) and itās kinda ruining my life, to be perfectly dramatic. Everyone is constantly getting up to get bowls of snacks and either out of sheer boredom or to just stretch my legs, I end up in the kitchen getting food throughout the day.
Iāve tried filling up on tea but I just end up going to the bathroom 30 times a day to pee AND 30 times to get snacks. Anyone have any tips? Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] The best way to avoid bingeing? Have no food in the house :D
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [š5'5|110|Maintaining?š]
Created: Tue Mar 13 18:53:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/849c6s/the_best_way_to_avoid_bingeing_have_no_food_in/
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I've decided that I am done being a pack-rat. I've had a really bad problem with hoarding food for the past 2 years and had accumulated a whole moving box (and then some) of dried fruit, nuts, ramen, etc. Since then I've been able to give most away but whatever was left over was tossed because 1. it was a year+ past the expiration date and 2. I can't trust myself not to binge on dried pineapple and cashews.
I haven't gone grocery shopping in a month and my ENTIRE food stock is:
-1 can of olives
-2 hard boiled eggs
-Kimchi and pickled cactus
-Dried beans
-frozen fruit
-4 apples, 2 bananas, and 1/5 of a Napa cabbage
-2 packs of tofu shirataki noodles
-dried seaweed
-Instant miso
and some low cal sauces
My goal is to make it to April without going grocery shopping so I can save money and stop this fookin binge cycle. My roommates have started moving shit into my fridge space and it is driving me absolutely insane. I'm cooking a pot of garbanzo beans in order to reclaim it because seeing other people's food there makes me want to crawl out of my skin for some reason.
[Rant/Rave] Anyone feel like thereās nothing anorexic about AN?
/u/Wander3 [Height: 162cm | CW: 37.6 kg]
Created: Tue Mar 13 18:51:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/849bnh/anyone_feel_like_theres_nothing_anorexic_about_an/
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Anorexia = lack of appetite
Me with undiagnosed(almost diagnosed/long story doesnāt matter) AN = hungry ALL the fucking time, craving shit all the time.
Iāve experienced anorexia due to other conditions.
Maybe someone with diagnosed AN can chime in.
Is it a misnomer or am I faking this too?
[Discussion] Behavior and emotions that coincide with your Binge/Restrict cycles?
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 152 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 18:48:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/849axs/behavior_and_emotions_that_coincide_with_your/
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I had a dumb/obvious realization today. When I'm restricting, I get increasingly anxious, angry, and hyperactive. Eventually, I "break" and do something stupid...get in a dumb fight on facebook, snap at someone who's pissing me off in public, get in a pointless spat with my husband over nothing.
Then I feel horrifically guilty. I can't stop thinking about what I did and feeling bad, can't concentrate on anything else, and I use food to distract myself. Stuff myself full until I can't take it anymore, begin again.
I don't know why it took me 18 years to realize this; I'm truly feeling empowered...like if I can interrupt this behavior and find an outlet for my crabbiness when I'm restricting, maybe I can interrupt my binging. Anyone else feel similarly and/or have other behavioral patterns that line up with their eating?
[Rant/Rave] Enough is never fucking enough
/u/Suriality
Created: Tue Mar 13 18:46:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/849amk/enough_is_never_fucking_enough/
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Iāve been trying to lose weight for years. Iāve never really been outside of the healthy weight range (stats: 6ā, HW: 175, CW: 132) and I JUST BARELY hit an underweight weightāfor the first time ever. And I barely even see a difference. This has been a āstarter goalā for me for so long, and now Iām worried that another 15-20 lbs (which is how far I am from my UGW) just wonāt make a difference. My thighs still jiggle and touch. My stomach is a mess. I know that part of it is just that Iām skinny fatābut part of me worries that that wonāt change before I simply canāt go on any further.
TLDR: EDs are a neverending sucking vortex of inadequacies that never let you go
[Discussion] Dumbest ed things you do?
/u/peppermintschnapps55 [BMI 23 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 18:30:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8496jy/dumbest_ed_things_you_do/
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I don't mean dumb as in like, dangerous and gambling with your health but just dumb as in, they make no sense. Your weird food rules I guess. Here are some of mine:
1)I will not buy healthy/diet food and junk/binge food at the same time. My grocery basket either screams "EATING DISORDER! THIS PERSON HAS AN EATING DISORDER" or makes it look like a five year old was put in charge of the shopping for the week. This, combined with the fact that I'll only buy binge food at places with a self checkout, has probably saved me from a lot of overeating, so maybe not so useless after all. Can be annoying though.
2) I'll specifically buy clothes from places I know *know* have really bad vanity sizing. Logically I know that an extra small shirt from old navy is the same as a medium other places, but somehow the little XS on the tag makes me feel better. I also intentionally buy clothes I know are too small for me to motivate me to lose more weight, but I don't really consider that dumb because it works.
3) I've gotten really obsessed with the timing of food. It's silly because I used to not care about this at all and would often have pizza or a sandwich for breakfast. But now nope, never, only breakfast food in the morning and I won't eat oatmeal or smoothies later in the day either. If I wake up after noon then no breakfast that day. Too bad, so sad.
So what similar things do you guys do?
[Rant/Rave] Im so angry
/u/kiwiismytruelove
Created: Tue Mar 13 18:14:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8492mu/im_so_angry/
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[removed]
[Other] My dad gets fresh harvest deliveries
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Tue Mar 13 18:09:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84919l/my_dad_gets_fresh_harvest_deliveries/
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So now i am thr proud owner of a pound of turnips. What can i do with turnips that has nothing to do with butter or nonstick sprays? (I never use butter and dont really mind if any food will get stuck) maybe a soup?? Hit me with ideas! Thanks lovelies! š
[Discussion] A Wrinkle in Time
/u/baileysuzette [18F | 5'3" | CW: 108 | BMI: 19.1 | HW: 140 | LW: 105]
Created: Tue Mar 13 17:25:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/848qyq/a_wrinkle_in_time/
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I just saw this movie and it was so good (in my opinion)! However, just a quick heads up to anyone who may see it: a character is shown to have an ED so that may be triggering for some.
Personally I found it incredibly relatable and I bawled my eyes out but it may be a bit much for others!
[Goal] Tears in the dressing room
/u/LumosErin [5'6" | 135 | 21.8 | GW:115-120 | 20F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 17:02:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/848l2x/tears_in_the_dressing_room/
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Today I was in JC Penneyās armed with my motherās platinum rewards card and I decided to peruse the dresses thinking about getting a new one for Easter but mainly looking for one for my spring formal in early May. Now Iāve lost about 20 pounds since August so I didnāt know what to base my size off of as I was a size 10-12. Keeping it safe, I selected quite a few in a size 8, but one in a six. The eights were a little big, but the six felt almost perfect. I decided to keep my favorite two dresses and try them both in a six, however there was no size six for one of them, just a four. Feeling brave, I took it with me.
Yāall. They both fit like a glove. I cried for a good five minutes and realized that I must sound like a crazy person so I pulled it together and bought them both. I am a happy gal.
[Help] Is it possible to gain more fat than you mathematically should have gained?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 13 16:59:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/848kba/is_it_possible_to_gain_more_fat_than_you/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] why did discovering I have high cholesterol trigger me so badly
/u/milkeyedmenders [5'5 | CW 109 | BMI 18.35 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 16:29:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/848bu9/why_did_discovering_i_have_high_cholesterol/
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I got blood work done a few days ago after my psychiatrist suggested i might have anemia or hypothyroidism or something physical that's making me so tired and low energy. results come back and i'm apparently not deficient in any iron or vitamin d or anything (which was genuinely shocking) and that my only issue was having slightly high cholesterol.
obviously i know that you don't have to be overweight to have this kind of problem. i don't know if i have family history or whatever either. but it's definitely reinforcing my disordered thinking because of course my dumb ass thinks everything's black or white and that "oh well, clearly you're a pig, and also if you're gonna have to cut back on certain foods you might as well use that as justification to stop eating again altogether."
90% of days I normally restrict between 500-700, without really any meat or fatty foods. that being said, i ate like shit for most of my pre-disorder teen years and i've also had nasty cycles of b/ping lately (and my choice food in binges is definitely all that saturated fat type of shit) so like. it's not the most surprising thing in the world i guess.
anyway this isn't like a post seeking medical advice or whatever, i'm told it's not even a severe level, let alone the end of the world, i'm just like surprised with at how weirdly bad i took this development. i think i'm probably just looking for reasons to justify my urge to restrict. who knows.
[Other] Am I ED free?
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Tue Mar 13 16:24:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/848alw/am_i_ed_free/
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[removed]
[Other] Clover Food Lab understands the tea obsession.
/u/quietpandaa [5'1 | 96.2 | 18.1 | 20F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 16:20:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8489e7/clover_food_lab_understands_the_tea_obsession/
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https://i.redd.it/p0a6ra9tvll01.jpg
I HATE HAVING BP SUBTYPE!
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 69.6 -70.4 lbs | 13.2-3| forced into recovery]
Created: Tue Mar 13 16:14:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8487tn/i_hate_having_bp_subtype/
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Today I binged, 2500 cal! I never did this before the hospital. I found an old food diary and I saw a day that I remembered as a huge binge and it was literally 925 cal. I miss that version of me and I donāt know how to get her back. Plus some of the food I ate wasnāt vegan meaning I contributed to the suffering of the world. I wish I had never been born.
[Other] Guess who's triggered!!!
/u/jasper1796 [5'5 | CW: 112 | 18.6 | GW: 102 ]
Created: Tue Mar 13 16:05:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84851a/guess_whos_triggered/
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hint: it's me!
basically I'm in an uncomfortable living situation right now and I spend 90% of my "home" time at my boyfriends place. He has expressed he doesn't mind this because of how much I hate being at my own house for the time being - however he has two roommates who were both good friends with, and have never said anything about how much I'm there but I've always been sensitive about it because I feel bad about how much I'm there.
Leading into why I'm upset right now, basically I can't even really cook my own food at my house because my roommates are CONSTANTLY in the kitchen making something/making a mess that they never clean up. It's super annoying to only be there for a few hours a day and literally have no chance to make a fucking meal for myself. So, I usually store/cook/prepare my food at my boyfriends.
Well, this evening I showed up at my boyfriends house for the night, and he told me him and his roommates cleaned out the fridge today and found that a lot of the food in there was mine (most of it was ready to throw out and I had forgotten about it). I'm so embarrassed. Now his roommates probably hate me because I don't even live here. Now I don't even have a single place I feel comfortable making food for myself, I don't wanna even bother eating at all until I move into my new place.
[Other] entering the third day of a fast...
/u/robotseventynine
Created: Tue Mar 13 16:03:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8484gp/entering_the_third_day_of_a_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I honestly just feel like crying right now
/u/kein-08-15 [5'8/172 cm | CW139/63.2 | UGW: 113]
Created: Tue Mar 13 16:00:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8483rr/i_honestly_just_feel_like_crying_right_now/
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This is a bit of a rant to get some things off my chest.
I donāt even know anymore. I just want to be at my goal weight so I can try to go on with my life. I havenāt had a warm meal in days. Instead of studying for my exam tomorrow (which Iām 100% gonna fail) Iāve counted calories and calculated when Iāll reach my GW and planned my meals and fasts. Then the rest of my motivation to study left me and instead of going through my notes Iām lurking at r/1200isplenty.
A month ago I tried to maintain and it went so badly. So so badly. I ate way too much so I just started restricting again. How can people eat normally? How can they not worry about calories 24/7? What even is a healthy diet? Iām so worried Iām going to be obsessed with food for the rest of my life because itās taking up so much of my energy and time.
Iām terrified of having to maintain at some point. It is still about 3 to 4 months away but Iām so scared. The last time I tried to eat normally I ended up binging so badly that I gained more than 12kg within 3 months. I donāt want that to happen again.
Right now I just want the exams to be over so I can curl up and not worry about anything for some days. Actually I wanna skip ahead to when Iām at my GW so I can just go on with my life.
[Rant/Rave] Iāve somehow gained 5 pounds this week, fml
/u/blmatsuu [5'2 | CW : 118 | GW : 99 | M]
Created: Tue Mar 13 15:38:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/847xkl/ive_somehow_gained_5_pounds_this_week_fml/
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Iāve been stress eating lately, but Iāve mostly been staying under 1500 cals, so technically I shouldnāt even be gaining. Iāve purged all the high-cal foods I ate as well, which should have helped. But here we are. 120 pounds. I feel like such a pig, Iāve visibly gained a ton of weight and Iāve reversed so much progress. And Iām 99% sure itās not even water weight. Iāve weighed myself after purging to get the most accurate reading possible and itās just 120. To most regular people, 3 pounds isnāt even much, but I feel like my whole worldās crashing down, honestly. Itās all Iāve been able to think about. Itās my birthday tomorrow and I know Iām not gonna be able to resist the temptation of all the snacks that are gonna be shoved in my face. I legitimately want to die. I want to OD so badly. Nobody really cares about my mental health anyways. One of my teachers made fun of how much I was eating this lunchtime. She always yells at me for the tiniest thing and I canāt even defend myself against her because she thinks sheās the best and so do all the other staff members at my school. Sheās mostly the reason Iāve started self-harming again, and I canāt do anything to make it all stop. She makes fun of me so much and Iām just so done with taking shit from everyone about my ED. First the weight gain, now bullying and shit from a teacher. I wanna make it all go away. Sorry for the rant. I just needed to vent and stuff... a ton of things have been going on and idk, my mental healthās just gone down the drain ://
[Rant/Rave] Plateauing HARD
/u/ImNotaTreeImaShrub [5'5" CW:176lbs (-24lbs) | GW 130 lbs | LW/UGW 115lbs | 32F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 15:31:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/847voe/plateauing_hard/
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Iāve been bouncing between 177 and 174lbs for the last two weeks. Most days itās 175. But most days Iāve averaged 700 cals a day, and Iāve only had two days of eating more than that, and even then they were around 1300 max each day, which is my BMR (well, just under it). How long will this go on? Itās making me so stressed and anxious, my stomach is tying itself up in knots and I am freaking out. Surely itās got to end soon, right?
Is it possible to "convert" your eating disorder into another type on purpose?
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Tue Mar 13 15:17:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/847rzs/is_it_possible_to_convert_your_eating_disorder/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I ate the cake
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5ā4ā | cw 118 | gw 110 | bmi 20.7]
Created: Tue Mar 13 15:15:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/847rfn/i_ate_the_cake/
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[removed]
[Tip] How to avoid loose skin?
/u/CassCass-
Created: Tue Mar 13 15:01:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/847nmo/how_to_avoid_loose_skin/
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Hi guys!
Iām new here so Iām sorry if this violates any rules. I read through them and this seems fine but if itās not, just let me know.
Iāve been struggling all my life with binge eating disorder and restricting, Iām now 20, 5ft 2 and about 200lbs and Iām restricting again. Iāve never gone through a particularly big weight loss quickly, I seem to gain much faster than I lose.
Iām now really concerned about loose skin from fast weight loss, itās really messing with my head and upsetting me so I was wondering if any of you guys know of ways that I can avoid having saggy skin if I lose a lot of weight quickly?
Thanks in advance āŗļø
[Other] Canadian Friends!! Halo top substitute found at Wal-Mart!
/u/aoedeXLI
Created: Tue Mar 13 14:15:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/847c3n/canadian_friends_halo_top_substitute_found_at/
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https://i.redd.it/5wqqotbj9ll01.jpg
[Discussion] DAE watch how to lose weight videos on YouTube on a loop
/u/FluidHeadroom [5'3 | 151| BMI: 26.7| -6| F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 14:05:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84796l/dae_watch_how_to_lose_weight_videos_on_youtube_on/
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I put one on and then auto play keeps them coming. I know every tip these people give but I still find it comforting to watch.
[Discussion] Food and mood...
/u/ratorture [5'10 | 135 | 18.9| Perpetual Recovery|]
Created: Tue Mar 13 13:43:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8472wb/food_and_mood/
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Annoying else become a snitty bitch when restricting? I get such a short temper. On the flip side, purging makes me feel really pleasant and I'm outwardly friendlier.
[Rant/Rave] I thought I binged because of lack of self-control, but I was wrong.
/u/MissNietzsche
Created: Tue Mar 13 13:22:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/846wzo/i_thought_i_binged_because_of_lack_of_selfcontrol/
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I've been stuck in a binge-cycle for the past month. All of this time, I thought my issue was lack of self-control. I thought I was a gluttonous freak, but I realize now it's hard to label yourself as gluttonous when you feel the same need to binge on a plate of donuts as you do a plate of plain broccoli.
Anyway, I had a dream last night. I'll spare you guys the details, but it involved resolving residual feelings for my ex. I was finally able to let him go in my sleep. And while I may have not been enough for him, I realize now I *am* enough for myself.
And just like that, *poof* the binge cycle ended. I have the capacity to feel satiety from food again, and there's no gaping hole in my stomach that I'm trying to fill because of pure hatred for myself. For the first time in I don't remember how long, I have no desire to binge, nor do I want to starve.
And now that I actually feel normal again, I realize now that the months and years of trying to resist binge eating disorder have actually made my self-control tremendous. Saying no to junk food as a normie is child's play compared to the feelings experienced during fasting as a binge eater.
I still have things to work on, as I don't want to turn to food again in the future if/when feelings of inadequacy and desire for self-mutilation rise again, but today, I am jubilant. I know it hasn't even been a full day, but things just feel so different now because all of the irrational voices in my head have completely vanished.
Tl;dr: Food is the symptom, not the cause.
[Rant/Rave] ED Brain Canāt Read ā thought it said ālo calā and got mad
/u/oksneaky [CW:IDK on purpose | GW:114 | 5'3.5F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 13:21:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/846wpa/ed_brain_cant_read_thought_it_said_lo_cal_and_got/
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https://i.imgur.com/dZwzzKG.jpg
[Rant/Rave] What changed
/u/th3Y3ti [5' 3.5" | CW 119| UGW 103| F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 13:01:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/846r36/what_changed/
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Earlier this year I was doing amazing. I started out at my highest weight, 127. I said fuck this Iām going to fix this. So I restricted and stuck to my goals and got down to my lowest weight (111) in October without even using a scale. Then thanksgiving comes around and I ruin everything. Iāve tried so so so goddamn hard to get back to where I was and the lowest Iāve been able to get down to was like 118. This sucks, i suck, I canāt go more than a few minutes without lamenting my low weight and hating myself for not being able to reach it again despite the fact that I could have done it by now MANY times over. I just feel like crap and all I want is to go back in time and stick to my routine instead of ruining everything. Sorry, I know plenty of us have gone through the exact same thing and that thereās never really a solution beyond just getting your shit together and sticking to your goals. Iām just so goddamn frustrated and tired of waiting for the day that I finally get to a point that I donāt hate my body
[Discussion] does anyone else wish they were actually curvy/thick?
/u/ItsAFetish [5'2" // 100lbs // BMI: 18.95 // female-ish]
Created: Tue Mar 13 12:53:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/846okf/does_anyone_else_wish_they_were_actually/
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when i got down to my lowest weight i was honestly disgusted. i shockingly hated how it looked on me! i feel like i look much better with the fuller hips/face/thighs of a healthy BMI. my ideal body, not plagued by ED's loud skinnyskinnyskinnyselfcontrolgottabethin voice, looks more like Iskra Lawrence's https://cdn.images.dailystar.co.uk/dynamic/140/photos/148000/Iskra-Lawrence-933148.jpg
im so confused. do i even want to be thin?
Boyfriend just broke up with me, hello new low weight.
/u/Rustlingjimmies87
Created: Tue Mar 13 12:35:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/846j89/boyfriend_just_broke_up_with_me_hello_new_low/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Do I call it off?
/u/stresssedthrowaway [5'3" | 119.0 | -18.2 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 12:20:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/846eh9/do_i_call_it_off/
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(sorry mods, on mobile, please flair as discussion)
I have a friend who is moderately underweight, he's 5'10" and 125lb. He desperately wants to gain but has a hard time eating for reasons I don't really understand, because as far as I can tell it's not a mental thing.. he just seriously doesn't like to eat.
Well, we both can be kind of competitive so I decided in kind of an ED moment to challenge him to a bet: if he can gain 10lbs before I can lose 10lbs, he wins, and vice versa.
The thing is, I kind of love it because it gives me so much motivation not to eat knowing that when I hit 110 I'll have 'won', but also this is obviously fueling my disordered behavior. We are very close and he knows I have a restrictive ED, so I was surprised he took me up on it in the first place.. it makes me feel like he knows I'd be more attractive lighter/he thinks that I'm currently fat. I'll still be at a healthy BMI at 110.
I don't want to admit defeat, honestly, but if you look at the numbers (I've been running them in losertown) he's obviously got an advantage when it comes to this.
My dear proED, what would you do in this situation?
When I first encountered this sub...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 13 12:14:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/846cni/when_i_first_encountered_this_sub/
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[deleted]
[Help] Movies about successful weight loss?
/u/onegoalfullcontrol
Created: Tue Mar 13 11:44:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84643w/movies_about_successful_weight_loss/
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I need to keep myself motivated. Ana movie recommendations are fine but I've probably seen all of them. Even a movie not centered around weight loss is fine too, as long as the person becomes lighter. Preferably not comedy but I'll take anything!
[Rant/Rave] ugh uncomfortable discussions
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 122.2lbs | 19.07 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 11:41:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84632b/ugh_uncomfortable_discussions/
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I can't stop thinking about how awful lunch yesterday was. I ate with two people from my kitchen and another woman who we know who works in another kitchen.
I am a normal BMI, a little above underweight. The other participant is overweight. Our coworker is underweight and definitely has an eating disorder, and the other woman is quite, quite obese.
We got onto the topic of BMI. I tried to say everything I could to make everyone in the room feel comfortable without saying anything I don't believe. Wow, was that fucking hard. We had been talking about birth control, and the overweight girl gets the shot. She said it makes her gain weight, but when she started taking it she was underweight from drug abuse. I said, we shouldn't moralize size or health. She said, the last time she weighed herself, she just fell into the overweight category, and then looked at me pointedly like "you should refute that." I tried to restate my point, that moralization of health is detrimental to us all, and she cut me off and said "if I was only a few centimeters taller, I wouldn't be overweight." I literally went back early so I could cut off the discussion there.
I just felt so bad for the other two people, sitting there, listening. Both these people having their bodies equated to badness by this girl who is too self-conscious to realize her impact. And me, the hypocrite, like "No body is bad! ~~except mine~~". Ugh. I wish I could have said something that nipped that conversation in the bud, instead. We all walked away feeling bad, I think.
[Rant/Rave] Donāt go bad
/u/getbettersxxn
Created: Tue Mar 13 11:40:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8462wk/dont_go_bad/
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[removed]
[Help] Can't fast longer than 24 hours anymore without having hypoglycemia
/u/missalligator [5'2" | 100 lb]
Created: Tue Mar 13 11:06:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/845svq/cant_fast_longer_than_24_hours_anymore_without/
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Basically what the title says. I used to be able to fast up to 40 - 45 hours depending on my intake before I started but when my BMI drops to 17.8 or lower and I go 24 hrs or more then I get really sick with hypoglycemia (shaking, cold sweat, vomiting, loss of vision and hearing, confusion) or just faint. I know the obvious answer is "just low restrict instead of fasting then" but that makes me feel more consistently dizzy throughout the day as opposed to having these brief episodes then I eat something and I'm fine. Is it possible that dehydration or certain nutrient deficiencies could be contributing to this? I eat vegan so my diet consists of mostly vegetables and oatmeal if that's helpful information.
[Rant/Rave] So mad at myself.
/u/-teaqueen- [5'3" | 115 | 20.37 | -20 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 11:00:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/845qy2/so_mad_at_myself/
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I was doing so well. I was so thin and confident during the winter. I was following all my strict rules and being good. Then I moved home. I have let all of it go and all I feel is immense guilt. I know I've gained some of the weight back. I just need to get on track and stay there! But it's so hard. There's a lot more food around me now and I find myself eating soooo much of it. I need my self control back but how do I do it?
[Goal] Summer goals?
/u/ricemask [5'6" | CW: 150 | -3 | UGW: 115 | 20F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 10:52:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/845oqq/summer_goals/
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Iām interning for a big tech company in a new city and I just want buy an entire wardrobe and look like the cutest intern there. We also have corporate housing and I just want to cook all these big healthy meals for the other interns. I just want to be the tiniest girl on my team.
To do that, Iām restricting to 500 cal a day on a vegan, low carb diet and 2 hours at the gym everyday (light cardio, spin class, yoga, and heavy lifting). For far Iāve lost 5lbs since last week.
How about you guys???
[Help] How to deal with friends who binge around you?
/u/glossboy
Created: Tue Mar 13 10:46:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/845mqy/how_to_deal_with_friends_who_binge_around_you/
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My closest friend and I would spend most of our hangouts revolving around food.
We'd meticulously plan out what kinds of binge foods we'd buy and eat tons of food by cooking it or ordering it.
My friend doesn't have an issue with binging as in they don't feel guilty about it. They just really love food... as do I except I feel like killing myself over eating anything at all.
After my disordered eating began it's been really hard to hang out with them because there always has to be food involved. "Let's eat this the next time we hang out." etc.
Do you guys have friends who just always eat around you? I don't want to start being that friend where I just skip out on hangouts every time just to avoid going out to eat.
Without a fail whenever I plan to not eat as much that day, I can't stand watching them eat all of it so I have to join in the binge.
[Discussion] How long do I have to fast (but still drink coffee/tea) in order to lose 5 pounds? Or how many calories could I have each day to lose 5 pounds in 2 weeks?
/u/ceruleandoll
Created: Tue Mar 13 10:02:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8459ly/how_long_do_i_have_to_fast_but_still_drink/
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[removed]
[Intro] Regretting recovery.
/u/slumberingspirit
Created: Tue Mar 13 09:52:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8456s1/regretting_recovery/
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First post here, I wish I didn't need to vent about this but here I am. Years ago when I was very sick I had my idea of the perfect body, at the time I couldn't see it and wanted to go lower, but now that I'm heavier I would kill to go back.
I was hospitalized several times and was diagnosed with bipolar 1 in addition to my eating disorder. With a lot of intensive therapy and getting on the right meds for my bipolar, I managed to get to and maintain a healthy weight for years.
Now I'm like fuck it. Im the highest weight I've ever been in my life at 130. It's perfectly healthy according to my bmi but I feel like I'm about to relapse hard and I really don't care.
My meds are preventing me from this though. I'm on seroquel and lithium and I feel like it's so hard to lose weight compared to before. I tried to stop taking them but seroquel has horrible withdrawal effects and I literally can't leave my bed.
My fiancƩ also knows all of my past issues and the warning signs that go with it. All I want to do is lose weight, honestly it's the only thing that I feel will make me happier. I feel so stuck and frustrated and I guess I just needed to vent about it somewhere where I'm not going to be judged. If I even start talking to anyone in my life about it they're all "why would you want to go backwards? You're happy now." Little do they know just because I got my body to a healthy place doesn't mean my mind was ever there.
[Rant/Rave] Found out my doctor is on vacation this week and so I can't get my med refill prescription till monday
/u/brita09234890235 [š vora: brita | 21.8 | 5'3.5 | CW 122.6 lbs | GW 110 lbs | 24 f]
Created: Tue Mar 13 09:18:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/844xio/found_out_my_doctor_is_on_vacation_this_week_and/
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Wtf am I supposed to do? It's the only thing that stops me from binging and I'm on my last 3 tablets. Fuckin kill me. And I finally hit a new lowest weight this morning too. omg. Why tf is it always one step forward and 2 steps back? I know I'm going to binge like a fat ass till Monday now. Great. So much for progress.
[Rant/Rave] When new boys fuck up everything...
/u/naughtynugget [5' 3" | CW 113 | 20.0 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 09:13:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/844w1g/when_new_boys_fuck_up_everything/
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So Iām seeing this guy and heās honestly perfect for me and seems really interested which is strange because I feel like heās WAY out of my league. Which is good because itās making me a better person to try and keep him around like applying for jobs so he doesnāt think Iām a loser (thereās a lot of downtime between jobs in my industry but most people donāt get that and I donāt want him to think Iām unmotivated) and like keeping my house clean and lots of good things.
BUT thatās bad because I was finally doing kind of okay which means of course I gained some weight which I was accepting in the name of health and recover. Except now that Iām trying to be perfect for him I want to lose again and be tiny and hot which the only way I know how to do is restriction.... which is bad for me and bad if he finds out because then heāll know Iām crazy.
Donāt really know where this rant is going Iāve just had a TERRIBLE time with relationships lately and I feel like heās way too good to be true so pretty much bracing myself to get hurt lmao
[Help] Upper body + cardio?
/u/OriginalJokeGoesHere [170cm | GW 45kg | šØš¦ āļø]
Created: Tue Mar 13 08:43:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/844nzo/upper_body_cardio/
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The only real exercise I get these days is walking, which is all well and good except I can't stand the thought of putting any muscle on my (already massive) thighs. Is there any cardio that primarily/partially relies on the upper body? All I can think of is swimming (which I would rather avoid because I can't really take my shirt off), or like rowing? If anyone has any ideas, I'm desperate here.
[Rant/Rave] Recalibrated scale, useless panic attack
/u/elttil_snatas [5'3" | CW 185lbs | Obese Whale | -10lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 08:37:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/844m8r/recalibrated_scale_useless_panic_attack/
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Stepped on the scale this morning, 180.2 Recalibrated scale, 182. I knew it would go up. I knew there was no way I weighed less because I had a big dinner and (TMI) didn't poop this morning. But for some reason I still felt huge and disgusting. I went digging through my clothes and threw on a different shirt but it made me look like an enormous gross sack of potatoes and I was crying and shaking trying to find something else to wear.
My poor husband was trying to comfort me but when I panic I get easily overstimulated by touch and sound and couldn't handle it. When we got to work I said "sorry for being such a freak this morning lol" and he said "I know it's not your fault" in this super exhausted tone of voice and I just... thanks for calling me a freak? I know fishing like that for him to tell me I'm normal is wrong and bad but I really wanted to feel normal. Everything about me is weird. I eat weird, I dress weird, I think weird, I talk weird, I exist *weird*. I can't ever be a normal, reasonable partner to my husband. I'll always be this psycho burden on him. He doesn't deserve to have to deal with someone who can't even pick which lean cuisine they want to bring for lunch without crying ):
Anyone else feeling like literal shit this morning?
[Goal] Two successes today! (One tentative failure.)
/u/letthetemptingbegin [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 23.12 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Tue Mar 13 07:42:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84482a/two_successes_today_one_tentative_failure/
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https://imgur.com/a/hOgua
[Rant/Rave] Too Much Attention
/u/Shh_its_not_me_yo [5'7 | CW: 125 | Gender: F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 07:11:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8440vh/too_much_attention/
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Okay, so, does anyone else feel worse the more attention they get? Like, it feels awful to be invisible... but right now Iām in the best shape of my life (or was until a week of emotional binging), and I feel like Iām only good for my body.
I thought I wanted to be hawt, but if stresses me out that people want to sleep with me. It makes me want to keep losing until I look sick.
But I donāt want to lose attention from being obese again. Just from being too thin.
Itās a lose lose situation.
[Rant/Rave] When you eat all of your massive, unhealthy lunch with the intention of purging and nothing comes up...
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.5 | 19.55/19.32 | GW: 57 | UGW: <55 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 06:44:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/843uhe/when_you_eat_all_of_your_massive_unhealthy_lunch/
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[removed]
[Goal] I am no longer obese according to my BMI!
/u/catsrule-humansdrool [5'5 | SW 211 | CW 180.2 | BMI 30 | 23F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 06:29:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/843r0e/i_am_no_longer_obese_according_to_my_bmi/
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I'd like to thank my friends, starving and multivitamins, for always being there for me. Even you binges, who tried to pull my weight back up and make me feel bad about myself. Fuck you, I did it! Don't listen to the haters, you can do this.
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday March 13, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 13 06:11:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/843n82/thinspo_tuesday_march_13_2018/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 13, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 13 06:10:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/843n7k/daily_food_diary_march_13_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for March 13, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Changing my mindset?
/u/xxnevi
Created: Tue Mar 13 05:32:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/843ft4/changing_my_mindset/
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I keep having this issue where I'll do great restricting all day long, then have a good, low cal dinner and
low and behold
That voice comes out and says "hey, you've only had 150cal today, treat yourself!"
And I give in every time. I hate myself.
Yesterday I did absolutely amazing. Only had a small spinach salad and a handful of grapes. Right at 150cal.
And then... evening rolled around. Bf wanted to smoke some weed like every night and...
Like an idiot...
I had 4 off brand thin mint cookies - 150cal
Mini almond joy candy bar - 150cal
Beef jerky 50cal pack - 50cal
So basically 150 turned into 500 in the span of like 15 minutes.
I. Will. Do. Better. Today.
And I WILL hit 130lbs. 20 more to go and I'm there.
[Intro] I think I have a problem...
/u/SummerMournings
Created: Tue Mar 13 05:21:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/843dqx/i_think_i_have_a_problem/
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But Iām honestly not sure if I want to do anything about it yet. Not til I hit my goal. Basically, Iāve been losing / gaining the same 10 lbs for several years. Always been obsessive about my weight but 2 months ago I decided I was finally reaching my ugw of 105 (not underweight but close) it started off great. I started a āthinspoā Instagram to āmotivate myselfā and I was eating 800-1000 cals every day (maybe a cheat once every 2 weeks) and cardio 3 times a week. Healthy. The weight melted off at first and I lost 7 lbs in a month. It was amazing and the rush of seeing the scale go down every day... oh my god it was incredible. Iāve been seeking that feeling ever since, because that was a month ago, and since then Iāve maybeee lost 2 pounds in over 3 weeks. I feel like a failure. And the longer I go without noticeable weight loss the less healthy my habits become.
Iām up to 1 hour of cardio in the morning 5 days a week. Iāve eaten 500 calories a day for the past... 9 days? I track and weigh everything. And still I havenāt had a normal BM for at least a week. And while I feel like those behaviors are a problem, all I care about is that Iām not losing weight anymore. I donāt get hungry but I do get dizzy, lightheaded and get headaches. But I cant make myself eat more because the one day I did eat 800 calories, I gained 2 lbs overnight and I canāt see that on the scale again. I know I need to trust my TDEE and thatās not āreal weightā but Iām so discouraged.
Honestly I have no idea why the scale isnāt going down. Iām doing everything right and I feel like I CANT eat more until I prove to myself that I can still lose weight. Ugh. I need a whoosh. Maybe that would make me feel better. How do I whoosh?
At first I kept telling myself I could stop any time and as soon as I hit my ugw but Iām not sure if thatās true. Until recently I didnāt realize EDs went beyond anorexia and bulimia and I thought you had to be overweight. I still donāt know if I have one or not but Iām starting to wonder. All I know is until the number starts to change I am going to be miserable.
Thanks for listening <3
[Help] I'm an eating monster and it suuuucks
/u/buddyflies
Created: Tue Mar 13 04:59:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8439r8/im_an_eating_monster_and_it_suuuucks/
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I cannot stop eating! I don't feel full and I'm losing my mind. I'm just starting to try and recover but omfg this is driving me insane. My history is a restriction binge/purge cycle but right now I'm not even purging and I feel like my body is out of control I'm disgusting. I hate it. Help me! Is it even possible to eat normally? Should I have a routine? Not knowing calories in things is making me lose my mind I'm eating so damn much it's ridiculous.
I hate binging, I hate it so much. Please help me stop, I just want to be normal.
Edit: I'm also on my period so there's that
[Rant/Rave] Just a rant to start the day...
/u/_thehotcheetodiet_
Created: Tue Mar 13 04:58:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8439kl/just_a_rant_to_start_the_day/
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How in the fuck does anyone just NOT think about food 24/7. I have literally no concept of it... I don't get it. Wether I'm eating 3000 kcal a day, 500, or a healthy 1500, I am CONSTANTLY thinking about what I ate what I'm going to eat what I want to eat but can't what I want to cook or what I would order at a particular restaurant.
What fucking kind of torture is this where a constant stream of numbers and foods consumes all my brain processes. Even when I'm eating "normally", and not restricting, I'm actually binging. Every fucking crumb and calorie of food makes me want to scream and cry and throw up (which ive never succeeded in doing thank god I don't want to fall down that hole) because I hate that I need to eat and that I actually enjoy eating. Yet outwardly I'm acting fine, and I must to be fine because I'm eating fried chicken or pasta or 600 calories of avocado toast in one meal. And I must be fine because I'm not skinny or thin, I'm overweight and fat and I'm being "healthy" by doing what I'm doing to myself. And I'm fine because I don't avoid fat or oil or sugar or processed foods.
I want this to stop because it so exhausting, but if I'm truly honest with myself I know I'm not sick enough yet to stop, not thin enough yet and I even sometimes believe I'm not sick at all and I must be making it up for attention.
I don't even know anymore
[Help] Really need to start working out
/u/Strfless
Created: Tue Mar 13 04:34:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/843588/really_need_to_start_working_out/
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My depression and anxiety have been on 10 for the past year which has made it really hard for me to start going to the gym, even tho thereās a nice one two blocks from me I could go to for $25/mo.
And tips on how to force/trick myself into going lol ? I think Iād really dig it once I started. And how do yāall balance restricting and exercise ?
What would happen if I only ate 800 calories permanently?
/u/cucumberhand
Created: Tue Mar 13 02:44:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/842nfu/what_would_happen_if_i_only_ate_800_calories/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/842lrk/what_would_happen_if_i_only_ate_800_calories/
[Rant/Rave] Finally quit drinking and I kind of regret it.
/u/Talvie [5'9 | 146 | 21 | -34lb | F]
Created: Tue Mar 13 02:20:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/842jhk/finally_quit_drinking_and_i_kind_of_regret_it/
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So I did the whole cliche better yourself resolution this year and stopped my excessive drinking. I decided to for two reasons, one was because I always ended up binging after drinking. Two was because I got upped to 80g of Prozac and that just made me black out and profusely vomit everywhere all the time. At first I was happy. No empty calories, the weight just kind of dropped. All was good right? Except my friends stopped inviting me places. I found myself spending weekends alone with nothing to do. I felt so lonely and I still do. I just play video games all day. My boyfriend can't even be sober around me. I don't remember him drinking but now he always goes to bed intoxicated. Am I that insufferable that my boyfriend whom I live with needs to drink vodka like a fucking soda? I feel like every time I try to better myself it somehow goes horribly wrong. At first I thought I was ugly outside. Then I lost weight and I still feel ugly outside and with the help of my drunk boyfriend he also makes me feel ugly inside. I shouldn't blame him though. I know sober constantly self deprecating me isn't probably fun to be around. All I do is beat myself over every mistake and reject any nice thing anyone says to me. I have such bad self esteem that I wake up every morning and question why anyone would want to be around me. Is this what it's like to be an adult because I do not want :(.
[Help] I want to wear a corset but, I'm a dude and I have no idea ware to start
/u/KaiTheBi
Created: Tue Mar 13 02:20:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/842jhf/i_want_to_wear_a_corset_but_im_a_dude_and_i_have/
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[removed]
[Discussion] And once again, my new boyfriend is suddenly losing weight.
/u/isforthewayyoulook
Created: Tue Mar 13 02:15:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/842it7/and_once_again_my_new_boyfriend_is_suddenly/
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The first time we saw each other eat, it was MONTHS into the relationship...and we had apples. We still havenāt eaten a full meal together. Iāve barely thought about itāIāve offered to cook for him but he turns it down, usually grabbing a handful of almonds. He always drinks his coffee black.
Recently, Iāve been noticing his weight dropping (heās already healthy weight/thin) and I accidentally saw him reading some very ED-ish content on his phone.
One of my exes told me that he felt self-conscious eating around me because I ānever thought about food.ā (LOL!!) I donāt know if this new guy started with ED habits or if Iāve somehow made it worse. I want to fix it. I want him to feel safe and good around me.
But I also want to stay comfy in my restriction/binge zone and itās hard to let him into that. Plus the selfish monster in me HATES to see him lose weight for reasons that are more like jealousy than love.
Have yāall seen partners lose weight around you? How do you deal? Do you try to help them?
[Rant/Rave] Confession? idk im an asshole
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 13 01:52:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/842f36/confession_idk_im_an_asshole/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/842f36/confession_idk_im_an_asshole/
alcohol makes me binge
/u/freakytreesprite [5'2'' | 21F | GW: 100| CW: 180 | BMI: 33]
Created: Tue Mar 13 01:13:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8429fp/alcohol_makes_me_binge/
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like if i have one drink i'm having six and then i have to have food to sober up
because otherwise i throw up and i don't want to start than cycle again
but i eat way more than i need
like I ate probably 5000 calories today/tonight
[Rant/Rave] I weigh less than my little sister
/u/botpockets [5'10" | CW 139 | GW 125 | F | šbotpockets]
Created: Tue Mar 13 00:57:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8426o2/i_weigh_less_than_my_little_sister/
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... and she's pissed! She's in college now and she's gained weight from drinking and dining hall food and such.
She's always been the really thin one, especially because she's like 5'11" and I'm a couple inches shorter. She's got bigger boobs than me and long curly blonde hair, so she's like a classic bombshell and then I'm the big fat sister with no tits and no friends.
But now she's five pounds heavier than me! Even if she holds the weight better than I did, it's still satisfying to know that for once I'm the smaller one. When I told her how much I weighed, she scoffed a bit like she clearly thought it wasn't fair.
[Help] How many calories are actually lost purging?
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: š³ 100lbs]
Created: Tue Mar 13 00:27:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84227g/how_many_calories_are_actually_lost_purging/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else get super nauseous when hungry ?
/u/borris000 [5'5" | CW: 104 | BMI: 17.5]
Created: Tue Mar 13 00:00:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/841xny/anyone_else_get_super_nauseous_when_hungry/
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Not even antacid (tums) helps :(
[Rant/Rave] just a rant :^)
/u/kingarthersixties
Created: Tue Mar 13 00:00:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/841xk2/just_a_rant/
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Hi. So, I would like to start off by saying I don't have an eating disorder, but my eating habits r definitely fucked. Basically a couple months ago i started eating healthy and removed sugars/overly carby things from my diet, but this escalated into starving. I didn't mean at all to start starving myself, it just kind of happened. There was one point where I ate a bite of this protein bar (A BITE FFS) and I got soooo mad at myself omg. My parents kept commenting on me losing weight, and I kept seeing the numbers drop on the scale and it made me feel so good. I normally weigh 120ish poinds, but I hit 111 pounds (it was like 111.9 so idk if that counts lol) at one point. This only lasted like 2 weeks, and then I started binging. I've been binging for like a month now and it sucks ass because I've never binged before. Before, if there was a packet of cupcakes, I could get by only eating one, but now it's like I can't stop myself from eating 3 :/. Now if i see anything sweet (ive never liked sweets this much!!!!!! i dont even want to eat it its just like i need to idk??? like i had a shitty chocolate cake today because it was chocolate cake. it wasnt even good idk why i kept eating) i have to eat it. I weighed myself this morning and I was 123. im aftaid to look on the scale because it might be higher tomorrow so now im afraid im going to go back into my starving mindset!!!! this sucks ass!!!!!
just wanted to rant lol
also ive been weight lifting lately so the weight gain might be muscle??? idk trying to remain optimistic
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend just called me a fatty....
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9.5"| CW: 145 | SW: 180 | LW: 132 | GW: 125 | 21]
Created: Mon Mar 12 23:25:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/841rs8/my_boyfriend_just_called_me_a_fatty/
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I love him dearly, and he didn't mean it to hurt me. But like...he's right lol. I've gained 10 pounds the past few months. Goodbye recovery, hello restricting!
edit: he said he'd break up with me if I started starving myself again and part of me wants to call his bluff on that ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
[Rant/Rave] Ugh i was doing so well and then i smoked a big ass bowl šµšµšµ
/u/oFILo
Created: Mon Mar 12 22:34:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/841itb/ugh_i_was_doing_so_well_and_then_i_smoked_a_big/
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https://i.redd.it/aavt3eemlgl01.png
[Rant/Rave] Ugh i was doing so well and then i smoked a big ass bowl šµšµšµ
/u/oFILo
Created: Mon Mar 12 22:34:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/841isa/ugh_i_was_doing_so_well_and_then_i_smoked_a_big/
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https://i.redd.it/mbmrrf4llgl01.png
[Rant/Rave] 4 laxatives V.S. an impromptu sleepover
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:118 |19.7 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 22:27:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/841hg2/4_laxatives_vs_an_impromptu_sleepover/
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Who will win? I might die of a panic attack before I find out.
So my bf and I hung out today after not really seeing each other for a few months. We had kind of separated for a sec. he knows about my ED and I can talk openly to him about it without him judging me too hard.
Anyway today we had plans to see each other and we went to the mall and watched a movie. He got hungry and I offered him a daiya pizza I had in my freezer. I really only drank coffee today but I had two slices with him and felt guilty as hell. I took four laxatives while he went to the bathroom. He came back and went back to chilling. I thought he was going to go back home but apparently he thought he was staying at my apartment. I donāt have the heart to make him leave and Iām anxious and I canāt fucking handle this rn.
I feel like Iām going to puke from the laxatives and I want to work out so fucking badly holy shit. I canāt work out with him here. I told him that I took the laxatives and I told him how I was feeling. He offered to go but I still feel shitty kicking him out when heās really tired and lives 40 minutes away. Fuck. I wish he wouldāve asked to stay over and I wish I was alone right now. Iām anxious. I canāt sleep. I want to work out or throw up or both honestly.
Heās literally asleep and Iām in my living room because I donāt think I can be next to him without becoming more anxious. Fuck my life, honestly... I just needed to vent.
(On the plus side, I hit a new LW of 116 and I bought an XS dress at hot topic that is still a bit big so my ego is kinda boosted but FUCK. I know the pizza slices were under 300 calories in total but I feel fucking gross and I hate myself right now and I want to be alone uuuughgg...)
[Discussion] Personal instagrams for selfies/body checks
/u/classywhoreinagoodwa
Created: Mon Mar 12 22:21:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/841gfi/personal_instagrams_for_selfiesbody_checks/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I just ate around 6 cookies today
/u/gawainspussy
Created: Mon Mar 12 22:13:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/841es1/i_just_ate_around_6_cookies_today/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Don't trust calorie counts
/u/cerealeyes
Created: Mon Mar 12 21:41:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8418iz/dont_trust_calorie_counts/
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Hi I'm new here so bear with me if I don't submit a post correctly. Anyway sometimes when my ED is at its worst I find myself not trusting the calorie/nutrition info on food labels. Does anyone else relate? I have to consciously talk myself down because I know I could drive myself insane. But idk sometimes I'll stare at the labels and it stresses me out because there's no way I can know for certain that it's correct down to the last number.
[Discussion] Runners: How much do you have to eat to survive a run?
/u/nature_ofmygame [5'5'' | CW: 153 | GW: 111]
Created: Mon Mar 12 21:36:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8417gt/runners_how_much_do_you_have_to_eat_to_survive_a/
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I just graduated from C25K and now I'm starting to train for a 10k. My stamina is pretty trash in general, but that's eating 1200 calories per day. With this recent relapse, I'm wondering if I'm going to have to choose low restriction (<700 a day) or running. Anyone managed to do both? And if so, do you rely on other things for energy?
FWIW, I'm not talking marathon here. Probably averaging AT MOST 15 miles per week for the next month and a half or so.
[Help] When eating out, what are some of your go-to safe meals, and where can I find them?
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | self-care]
Created: Mon Mar 12 21:11:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8412gx/when_eating_out_what_are_some_of_your_goto_safe/
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I basically only feel super-comfortable eating like...the naked tenders and a side salad from B-Dubs, typically with the Blazin' sauce because we eating disorder people like foods that have laxative effects, lol.
My boyfriend is not excited about the fact that I only want to eat Buffalo Wild Wings. He doesn't even like Buffalo Wild Wings (BLASPHEMYyyy). So I need to expand.
Advice plz.
[Rant/Rave] 3.5 Months of Binging= 26 lbs Gained
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 12 20:49:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/840xsg/35_months_of_binging_26_lbs_gained/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Me āAllowing Myself to Snack as Long as I Stay With a Deficitā Turned Into a Binge
/u/bunntendo [Height5'7 | CW131 | BMI21 | UGW110 | GenderNB]
Created: Mon Mar 12 20:45:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/840wx5/me_allowing_myself_to_snack_as_long_as_i_stay/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone feel depressed when they lose the weight theyāve gained?
/u/attackedbydinosaurs
Created: Mon Mar 12 20:30:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/840tly/does_anyone_feel_depressed_when_they_lose_the/
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I gained 5 kgs recently and Iāve since lost 10. But all I can think about is that Iād be skinnier if I hadnāt gained the weight in the first place.
How much do I look like I weigh and what size? Iām 5ā7.5ā
/u/Addison9900
Created: Mon Mar 12 19:51:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/840l0h/how_much_do_i_look_like_i_weigh_and_what_size_im/
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https://imgur.com/a/a7pxv
[Other] Lifesum reminding me that I'm disgusting :/
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 140.6 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 22.8 | 19F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 19:37:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/840htq/lifesum_reminding_me_that_im_disgusting/
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https://i.redd.it/nhnbmfizpfl01.jpg
[Discussion] Workouts
/u/dearisabella [5'2" | GW: 110 | UGW: 100 | 21F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 19:36:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/840hk7/workouts/
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What kind of workouts do you guys do?
After a year of not going to the gym (but losing weight by cutting calories), I decided I would start going again to avoid a 'skinny fat' look.
I began taking cardio and yoga classes 2-3 times a week and it made me so hungry! I was eating 400-500 calories more than I did when I was not working out. I've gained weight and now I'm thinking I should hold off on high intensity exercise until I hit my goal weight.
Maybe I'll just stick to yoga around two times a week and some walks. What exercises do you all do and how often?
[Other] 'There is no feeling so tragic as wishing you had tried harder'
/u/vhenah [5'7 |CW: too much | 20.95 | -86.4 | MOO]
Created: Mon Mar 12 19:15:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/840csm/there_is_no_feeling_so_tragic_as_wishing_you_had/
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~~(Hopefully this is ok to post here? Sorry sorry sorry)~~
I was scrolling through the 'best of 2017' /r/fatpeoplestories bc I felt like continuing the binge part of my binge/restrict cycle and I 1000% did not want to do that. I ended up finding a really good piece of life advice?? (If I'm using it to fuel an ED and I even allowed to call it that l m a o^kill me)
The story was about an obese girl visiting her cousin in Japan and is actually rather cute and endearing when read in its entirety (although there are a lot of fat logic tantrums tbh but there's a good ending). A moment not mentioned in the story is between Chibiham and Mama, who says this to Chibi after she eats a trash bag full of sweets and snacks (RELATABLE....). There's more to that moment than just that but that quote really resonated with me and gave me the little kick I needed to not binge again - at least tonight. I guess it was an idea finally put into words for a feeling I have daily - even with things not related to my ED, so I just wanted to share in case anyone else would be interested/feel the same?
[full story - it's a little long but vvvv cute!](https://deartokyolovepaprika.files.wordpress.com/2016/09/chibiham.pdf)
[fb snippet with the full quote, not included in the story](https://www.facebook.com/Chibiham/posts/902272489857885)
[Rant/Rave] Why do I buy so much food even though I know I don't need it?
/u/lilialley
Created: Mon Mar 12 19:12:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/840c4d/why_do_i_buy_so_much_food_even_though_i_know_i/
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Every time I go out and I'm bored, I buy food. I have a ridiculously huge amount of food in my fridge and my cupboards that I bought over the weekend. Including chocolate, candy, five pounds of grapes, three (three!!) blocks of my favorite cheese, chips, crackers, rice cakes, tons of Halo Top, tons of frozen berries, tons of frozen meals at Trader Joe's that looked good on the box.
Not only was all of it ridiculously expensive and over-budget, only two things are going to happen to it:
1) things go to plan and I take an entire year to eat all of this food, during which a lot of it will probably go bad
2) I will binge on it and hate myself
I'd say I would share or donate it, but the food banks near me take only money, and I don't have any friends.
Why does restriction do this to me? Why do I have zero impulse control?
[Help] Run away and starve
/u/Firerose157 [5'3" | ~118 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 18:28:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/84016u/run_away_and_starve/
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Tired of screwing up everything in my life, watching the people I love kill themselves with endless fighting and addiction. I want to run away from everything I love, run away and starve until I run myself dead. I just want to go, I don't know where, I don't want to lose any of them but I'm so scared. Never purged before but my stomach is killing me, the stress makes me want to vomit so bad but I can't destroy my teeth, or lose more weight or else there goes my relationship of ~5 years, but the ED feels like it helps my stress as an outlet ironic as that is... I want to be thin, petite, skinny, ~100 lbs, but I don't understand why. I've always wanted a curvier body, but I find myself all of a sudden admiring the anorexic people in my life, looking at their weight as a goal with almost a hint of jealousy. I love the comments I get at my heavier weight (~125), but I feel like I'm in a shell at this point. I feel like any weight gain is for my partner and family, I don't like what I see in the mirror at any weight at this point. I'm starting to see my collarbones, chest bones, and ribs in the mirror easily and my legs are getting skinnier, even my butt which are the only two things I didn't want any weight loss in... I've been told my face is skinnier and I look sick, that I'm too skinny... But I want to lose more weight, but they can't know that. They want me to want to gain weight, but I just wish I could lose 10, 20 more pounds without them noticing or without noticeable changes in my body. I guess I want that number on the scale and that name "skinny" without the actual weight loss at this point? I want to wear layers and layers around everyone, keep my hair down when I can to cover my face, I'm tired of being told how skinny I look and how much healthier and better I would look if I ate regularly. I wish I could just be alone for a bit, but if I leave, that's it. On top of it, the stress makes me feel like hurting myself but they can't know that and I know he would see, so I feel trapped with no outlet, negative or positive. I'm sorry
[Discussion] is mfp not working for anyone else?
/u/Suusss [| 5'6 | 143 / 130 / 120 / 117 \\ 115 \\ 111 \\ 109]
Created: Mon Mar 12 17:51:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83zs3b/is_mfp_not_working_for_anyone_else/
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it's been a month or something ?????????? I can't submit food entries.. wbu, anyone?
[Help] Am I eating because Iām binging or Iām actually really hungry??
/u/luxiocharms
Created: Mon Mar 12 17:50:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83zrup/am_i_eating_because_im_binging_or_im_actually/
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So today, after being ābetterā for some time (I have terrible eating habits, but I have never told my parents because they donāt believe in disordered eating and all that Jazz) I started to hardcore restrict again. Even when I ate almost a dietitian recommended amount, I would count calories and feel guilty after eating, but today I started to crack down again after having a shitty weekend. I want control over myself and my life. So, coffee, a Luna Bar and an apple was what I had planned on having (and maybe a little something for dinner, idk) but what always seems to happens, happened: I went home and nibbled slightly and all of a sudden just felt overwhelmed with hunger. It makes me feel disgusting, how much I wanted to eat. I stopped myself, before it got really bad, but I canāt decide if itās the onset of a true ābingeā or if itās my brain kicking into hungry overdrive. I hate myself when I let myself do this and I donāt know what to do.
[Rant/Rave] Being told I ālook thinā makes me feel even worsr
/u/peppermintschnapps55 [BMI 23 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 17:35:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83zo96/being_told_i_look_thin_makes_me_feel_even_worsr/
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(On mobile tag as rant/rave)
It literally makes me feel so bad because I am obviously not thin, objectively so when people say that they are obviously just comparing me to my past self. And if this looks thin compared to that that means I was.... really fucking fat. Lol. Iām just upset. Also Iāve hit s plateau even though I know Iāve lost fat because Iām so constipated i have like 10 days worth of shit crammed inside me.
[Rant/Rave] my whole life is a cosmic fat joke
/u/dietcokecult [5'5" | HW shrek | CW fiona | GW incorporeal vapor | -55]
Created: Mon Mar 12 17:27:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83zm6h/my_whole_life_is_a_cosmic_fat_joke/
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my coworkers peer pressured me into eating a slice of cheesecake today. they know i'm "being good" but it was my boss's birthday and my colleague was hyping up her homemade cheesecake all damn morning until i felt like i couldn't say no.
i never ever ever eat unplanned food like that - even when i overeat it's usually on a holiday or whatever so i have advance notice and give myself "permission." so this felt like the biggest failure of all time and proof that i'm still a fat fucking cow with no self control.
spent all afternoon berating myself for fucking up, halfheartedly trying to purge in the office bathroom but giving up because i didn't want to make any noise, and telling myself that today has to be the day i stop making excuses and start working out like i said i would months ago. i swear i look like my gut has gained 20 pounds since this morning, all from that damn cheesecake.
after work i stopped at the convenience store to drown my sorrows in diet coke. and what fucking song starts playing as soon as i walk in?
"carry that weight" by the beatles.
sure hope some cosmic force got a chuckle out of that one šš«
[Other] Does anyone find that a binge can get them back on track?
/u/vitalogy95 [5'5" | CW: 155 | BMI: 25.79 | GW: 115 | HW: 176]
Created: Mon Mar 12 17:18:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83zk3v/does_anyone_find_that_a_binge_can_get_them_back/
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Iām pmsing and Iām obsessing over food. Iāve had so many bad days where I try to restrict but I graze so much to satisfy my cravings that I end up eating more calories than I intended without ever getting that full feeling.
Iām wondering if allowing myself a hugeeee meal will disgust me enough to just get back on track and stop thinking about food constantly.
Has anyone else had success doing that?
[Rant/Rave] Weird rant
/u/aliciagris816
Created: Mon Mar 12 16:56:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83zeb6/weird_rant/
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I have forgotten who I am, what it feels like to actually be alive and feel things. I postpone everything because I hate myself, all my decisions have been conditioned or dictated by self hate. Just now a song that I used to listen to 5 years ago before this all started when I was alive and happy and in love came on the radio and I just got a brief wave of how I used to feel. Maybe there is actually something to life, there are feelings and there is happiness and love but I've just forgotten, I don't know, I suddenly remembered that there used to be stuff outside of this. I hate myself a lot right now after 'recovery' and am even suicidal about weight gain and do want to lose but I am just so tired, I want to lose but I just don't want to be stuck here anymore; I want to lose to live not live to lose anymore. I have used anorexia to protect myself, to feel less vulnerable and beyond 'reproach' but in the process I've stopped feeling like a human. In love? Happy? Vulnerable? Better run away and lose weight to make sure you're in control
[Rant/Rave] My ED is making me a bad girlfriend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 12 16:31:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83z7if/my_ed_is_making_me_a_bad_girlfriend/
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[deleted]
[Other] Overeating: Does It Count If It's On "Healthy" Foods?
/u/DavidMitchellTurtle [5'8" | CW 193lbs | GW 115 | BMI 29.35 | Lost 85]
Created: Mon Mar 12 16:29:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83z6xx/overeating_does_it_count_if_its_on_healthy_foods/
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[removed]
[Help] Desktop nutrition tracking that doesn't require weight/bmi, isn't 'diet' focused?
/u/thetiredgay
Created: Mon Mar 12 16:27:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83z6ex/desktop_nutrition_tracking_that_doesnt_require/
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Something that I can save recipes in and also make notes of daily activities/feelings. I don't have a smartphone, so it would have to work on my windows laptop. I'm working on keeping track of what day it is, making sure I don't forget to eat, and making sure I'm eating enough/not too much unknowingly, generally just basic human functioning things. I have an ED, so am sensitive to 'healthier' food suggestions, calorie/macro suggestions, and other shaming for 'overeating', praising for undereating (pls stop encouraging me to starve myself jfc). I just want a blank organized database for my own data, don't know if there's out there though. any suggestions besides resorting to excel?
[Rant/Rave] i want to die but i donāt wanna die fat
/u/peachybummer [5'3" | CW: 115 | GW: 95 | 23NB]
Created: Mon Mar 12 16:25:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83z5si/i_want_to_die_but_i_dont_wanna_die_fat/
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[removed]
[Help] Not sure if I need help.
/u/Lottlej
Created: Mon Mar 12 16:13:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83z2b3/not_sure_if_i_need_help/
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I'm not sure if this is the right place to post, but if it isn't please tell me where to go. I'm 23 and have always had body image issues. However, lately I've been forcing myself to throw up after meals I dont feel are healthy, probably around 2-3 times a week for the past couple of months. I absolutely hate it because it sort of hurts but if I dont I feel terribly guilty. I feel like this isn't necessarily bulimia because I don't feel like I have to do it, but it does make me feel better once I do. I just want to get rid of the guilty feeling.
[Discussion] I realized the only thing that brings me joy
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 103 | 16.6 | GW: 98| 35/F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 15:56:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83yxok/i_realized_the_only_thing_that_brings_me_joy/
---
Itās not food, itās not my boyfriend or buying new makeup. Shit, itās not even my son. The only thing that makes me smile is when the number on the scale goes down. This realization makes me even more depressed. My eating disorder has isolated me from anything that previously brought me joy. Now I rely solely on it for my happiness š. Does anyone else relate?
[Help] Need to lose 10-20lbs by april 5th please help
/u/yayokittenxo
Created: Mon Mar 12 15:46:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83yuye/need_to_lose_1020lbs_by_april_5th_please_help/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] i bought new goal pants
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 12 15:39:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83ysy3/i_bought_new_goal_pants/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83ysy3/i_bought_new_goal_pants/
[Discussion] I feel pressured to continue with my ED
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Mon Mar 12 15:27:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83yprz/i_feel_pressured_to_continue_with_my_ed/
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A few weeks ago I decided to finally recover from my eating disorder. However, i didnāt really start recovery until this weekend. I saw professional help for the first time last week and weāve started talking about treatment options. I donāt want to seem like I was faking my disordered eating just because Iām getting better.
Idk if that made sense sorry
[Rant/Rave] Hey hey. Iām back. Again. (Rant).
/u/elm318
Created: Mon Mar 12 14:58:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83yhpd/hey_hey_im_back_again_rant/
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This is about my third time returning to this sub. Guys. I am. So sad.
I hate my fucking body. I went to college and tried to be ānormalā and āhealthyā and i GAINED TWENTY FUCKING POUNDS. I was already fat to begin with! But you know itās rough when youāre looking back on old pictures of your slightly LESS fat self and wishing you could be there again.
I am a fucking failure. I am disgusting.
So, here it fucking goes. Time to do it right this time. Again.
[Tip] ED snack hack
/u/runawaythrowaway47
Created: Mon Mar 12 14:57:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83yher/ed_snack_hack/
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"Chips and Salsa"
-3 romaine lettuce leaves-15
-2 Tbsp- 5 cals
Total: 20 cals
"Cookies n cream"
Fat free cool whip- 15 cals
Chocolate complete cookie- 1/2=180 cals
(FYI: you can sub the cookie for anything you want!)
[Other] When your motivation and stomach can't count
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 14:20:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83y5z6/when_your_motivation_and_stomach_cant_count/
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https://i.redd.it/8su456335el01.png
[Rant/Rave] A constant cycle
/u/fllourr
Created: Mon Mar 12 14:14:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83y47o/a_constant_cycle/
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For the last few weeks Iāve just been in a constant cycle of binging, attempting to restrict and sleeping. Iām not getting anything done in terms of weight loss but also my life, I have important things happening soon and i do truly care about them but i just cannot bring myself to work. Iām just at the end of my tether to be honest. I donāt know why i canāt just restrict. Half the time the foods I binge on I donāt even want. Iām even procrastinating doing errands whilst Iām writing this..
[Discussion] Does anyone's weight increase when you know you've gotten smaller?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 12 14:00:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83xzxh/does_anyones_weight_increase_when_you_know_youve/
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Over the past nine days my weight has stayed the same/increased by up to 2 pounds. I weigh myself under the same conditions almost everyday. I weigh all my food and track meticulously while eating at a deficit, there's no way I should actually be gaining fat. :( I know it's not muscle because I don't exercise, I'm just on my feet a lot.
I started drinking 48oz of water everyday about two weeks ago, but if it's water weight when will it go away? I can tell my jeans are looser and my measurements are smaller, but the scale won't catch up and it's making me want to restrict even more.
[Help] Does anyone wake up with hot flashes and cold sweats?
/u/dortuh
Created: Mon Mar 12 13:49:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83xwj9/does_anyone_wake_up_with_hot_flashes_and_cold/
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I've been restricting pretty low this week and also drinking a couple times... Yesterday I had 461 calories, 207 being tequila. And there have been a couple days, today being the worst, where I woke up just not knowing how I would make it through the day. Today I woke up nauseous, weak, dying. I got up having hot flashes, cold sweats, not even knowing if I would make it to the bathroom, or if I could stand up from the toilet. My hands were tingling like crazy. I overheat so bad I have to take my clothes off and I barely make it upstairs and force myself to eat two bananas to hopefully make it stop. It helped a lot. Went back to bed for a quick bad dream and I feel back to normal.
I thought today I would have to maybe do 800-1000 just to fix this but now that I feel fine I don't want to. I'm still upset that I ate breakfast. I like not eating until the sun goes down. But mostly Im just eating like this, when I feel I'm gonna need a little bit to keep going.
I tagged it as help cause I was wondering if eating more is the only way to prevent this. after bananas and more sleep I feel like I can go for a walk.
[Discussion] My eating disorder is my best friend and Iām lonely without it...
/u/lemonlime836
Created: Mon Mar 12 13:33:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83xrv1/my_eating_disorder_is_my_best_friend_and_im/
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I had this realization the other day. I went through a particularly bad restriction phase last winter, and came out of it in the summer (when I was eating somewhat ānormallyā).
What struck me was how goddamn lonely I felt. When Iām restricting, I feel like Iām never alone. It almost feels like I always have a friend with me...everytime I get dizzy standing up, or remind myself that Iām still at 0 cal for the day, it feels like Iām sharing an inside secret with someone. It gives me something to think about during the day, something to research, apps to use, something to draw, journal about, focus on...
I fell back into restriction again over the last few months and I just feel so complete now. Itās like I have a purpose, and like I have my best friend back.
Just wanted to share. Maybe someone else can relate.
[Discussion] What do you guys think of this shirt by Disney?
/u/ShebaFlowertoes
Created: Mon Mar 12 13:15:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83xmkt/what_do_you_guys_think_of_this_shirt_by_disney/
---
https://i.redd.it/h7sjqp4ttdl01.png
[Rant/Rave] Puffy face wake up call
/u/llovemybrick_ [5'4" | CW 135.9 | 23.3 | -12.2 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 12:35:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83xau3/puffy_face_wake_up_call/
---
I had the flu last week.
Not the āoh god itās coming out both endsā type of flu. The type of flu where your whole body aches, your temperature is all over the place, and you have no energy to move.
Needless to say I lay in my bed for 4 days snacking and stuffing my face with food. Told myself it was fine because I was ātrying to keep my energy up.ā
Today I got into work and the new girl immediately said āOh god, you still look ill - your face is all puffy and swollen!!ā
She even pulled at her cheeks to demonstrate as she was saying it.
Fantastic. I really need to sort out my binging.
:(
[Other] Daily Thinspo š
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 11:46:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83ww63/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/n0c276v0edl01.jpg
[Other] My husband knows me
/u/aimingforzero
Created: Mon Mar 12 11:25:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83wq0c/my_husband_knows_me/
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https://imgur.com/CRyVuVD
[Intro] Starting an anorexic diet...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 12 10:53:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83wgnh/starting_an_anorexic_diet/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Craving solitude
/u/Douchebagette
Created: Mon Mar 12 10:46:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83weem/craving_solitude/
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I've been off for an entire weekend ( which never happens) and I feel like I haven't done one thing that was for me. My girlfriend is unemployed at the moment so being home is 24/7 spending time with her and usually catering her needs.
For example my weekend has been
Friday: getting up at 6am to move both of our cats for a snow plow then spending most of the afternoon with her brother
Saturday: I had plans to go out and do shopping and errands but she was very ill ( just had a weed hangover) and slept all day. I couldn't leave the house without upsetting her
Sunday: since we didn't get to see her friends Saturday we went over there yesterday and she spent the whole night arguing with her friend about politics
Now it's Monday which I also have off this week and it's almost noon. Since we went out last night she won't be up till maybe 2-3 and I can't even clean or shower or leave the house before she gets up. I feel trapped and neglected and to be honest like a big whinny baby.
Oh I I've forgotten to mention the daily mental breakdowns over nothing my girlfriend has been having. I'm here to support her and try to help but she doesn't want any help at all and would rather let all her problems fester than deal with them and it's getting very very frustrating.
I know this isn't related to ED much but my head isn't in a good place. I feel like trash and want to shove everything in my face.
My dream is to just run away from this all, have my own place with my own things, do what I want with my time. Not have to worry about touching someone or not, or having to clean up other people's messes. That's the dream
But I can't have nice things.
Anyways I'm sorry I just needed to vent
[Help] How long did it take for a measurable change?
/u/lithewedding
Created: Mon Mar 12 10:03:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83w1q3/how_long_did_it_take_for_a_measurable_change/
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My biggest problem is that I feel like whenever I eat my stomach gets bloated to hell, pounds pack on from water weight, which is making me afraid to eat a lot of the food I rely on (vegetarian, and FIBER).
All that aside, I feel like my clothes are getting looser and my chest bones and ribs are more defined.
My tape measurements seem the same for waist, hips, and thighs. Scale has not budged more than 1.5 pounds at most, and sometimes bounces back up.
When did you get a 'woosh', or a measurable change with numbers, whether weight or tape? I've always had issues restricting, but recently reduced my intake to around 1,000 a day, which is still high, but I workout and my TDEE would be 1488 if I were completely sedentary, with a BMR of 1240.
I am determined to lose at least 5 pounds by late April.
[Help] Fasting
/u/sydthekkkyd
Created: Mon Mar 12 09:49:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83vxsz/fasting/
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[removed]
[Help] at the end of my rope
/u/skeletalstarlet [š 5'6f | cw: 129 | 20.8 | gw: 112 | gbmi: 18 š]
Created: Mon Mar 12 09:22:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83vqig/at_the_end_of_my_rope/
---
hi guys,
i really need your help. iām completely at a loss for what to do next. iāve been struggling HARD with my ED for 5 years now, mainly binge/restrict cycles. long story short, after i got down to the lowest weight i had been in years in december, i started binging and i canāt really stop. i went from 122 - 130. i canāt bring myself to get dressed anymore really. showering is hard. i wear the same ugly, baggy clothes every day and i adore fashion. i genuinely donāt know what to do with myself at this size. i canāt even look in the mirror.
i am so heavy, so uncomfortable, but somehow i cannot lose it. i feel like if i restrict too low iām gonna binge (as i have done in cycles for the past few years.) maybe try something sustainable, keep the weight off. so i attempted to eat at around 1,300 last week, doing great until i binged last night due to anxiety.
not binging for that long is a record for me! but i didnāt sleep last night because i was agonizing over how fucking fat i am, how this time iām actually fat and not thin but thinking i was fat like i did before. itās eating away at me like it literally NEVER has before. i need to lose this weight fast because iām so uncomfortable iām losing myself and my mind.
i feel like thereās no hope left for me. all iām gonna do is binge and binge and binge. iām gonna hopefully attempt 1,000 - 1,100 and try to chill, but iām tired. i feel like this cycle will never end. iām at a low point in my life. i want to die, and the most messed up part is i know itās honestly a difference of maybe 5lbs that is really pushing me over the edge.
has anyone been through something similar/can tell me it gets better? i kind of feel like i can do this, but the past is weighing me down and i canāt see there ever being any change in my life anymore.
edit: i mean the thing is, i really do want to try being āhealthy skinny,ā doing 1,200 and all that. the mental block thatās stopping me from that is just so big. but i canāt live in these binge/restrict cycles anymore. :(
[Rant/Rave] nothing worse than morning binges ):
/u/heyheypicklejay [5'1 | cw 98 | gw 90 | bmi 19.32 | 20F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 09:21:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83vqc0/nothing_worse_than_morning_binges/
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Downed a crazy amount of calories yesterday and planned on restricting today. I was the first one awake and seized the opportunity to mindlessly eat my way through 3 giant spoonfuls of nut butter, 2 girl scout cookies, and 3 slices of white bread with butter. It's 10:20 am, & Now I get to carry this guilt with me for the rest of the day!!
God forbid this morning binge triggers another all-day binge (:
[Tip] No b/p for a month - how I managed it without treatment.
/u/carnivoool
Created: Mon Mar 12 09:04:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83vlw6/no_bp_for_a_month_how_i_managed_it_without/
---
Background: from November 2016 - 2nd February 2018 I b/p every day. I started having health problems (major one was I saw blood during a purge for the first time) and decided I needed to stop - immediately. But I didn't want to go "into treatment". Here's what helped me, and might help someone else in my situation.
* treating this as a weird bad habit like smoking/drinking instead of a serious mental illness (cos mental illnesses require serious treatment from professionals).If I was going to go it alone, I had to minimise it's seriousness. I have control and if I choose to not b/p ever again, I won't. Cold turkey works for fucking heroin addicts, it can work for donuts.
* high restriction. For the first week, I told myself I could eat whatever I wanted as long as it was under 1200 calories. If I went over, no biggie, make up for it the next day.
* not weighing myself. That first week I also didn't weigh myself so I could focus on feeling better. Now because of these horrible headaches I was having, I was almost completely sedentary, and after that week I weighed in 7lbs heavier. But I was OK with that as I was ready to restrict safely back down to my comfortable weight (~100lbs, what I weigh now).
The biggest challenge has been staying vigilant about my calorie intake to not gain so much, without being too restrictive. It is mentally exhausting and sometimes all I can think about is food. I have obsessive tendencies and really no hobbies/job at the moment so I think that's the cause of this. I'm working on a solution.
I'm also trying to introduce "bad" foods back into my diet slowly (I ate real bread yesterday, and it was fucking delicious!).
The biggest surprise has been my complete loss of the urge to binge. Some days my stomach feels like a bottomless pit and I allow myself to go over my calorie allowance (max 2500 though). But I never get that "I need 20 donuts, a sheet cake and 3 packets of cookies" feeling anymore. Just doesn't seem worth it. If I crave something high calorie/sweet, I just tell myself "it'll still be there tomorrow, you can have it then". Nine times out of ten, I don't want it the next day.
I trying really hard to not slip into a restrictive ED, and I hope to one day have a healthy relationship with food. Maybe treatment is the only way to do that, but for now DIY is working for me.
IDK exactly why I wrote this, and I'm not trying to come across as an expert, or discourage anyone from seeking professional help. Maybe someone can relate to this and it'll help release them from this horrible "habit".
[Intro] Getting back to reality
/u/amslo
Created: Mon Mar 12 08:56:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83vjmw/getting_back_to_reality/
---
Hello,
I am very VERY new to Reddit so apologies if I do things wrong etc
I just thought I'd say hello and get in to the habit of being active here.
I'm 25 from the UK and I go by the name Amslo.
I desperately need to get motivated. My scales hit 200lb 2 weeks ago. I was 120lbs this time in 2016. I've gone through a lot of life changes and they have caused me to binge at a horrific rate.
I now have a new job, a new phone, a (relatively) new car....the only old thing I want is the old me back.
I can't wait to start my journey with you all :)
[Rant/Rave] Hello again friends
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 12 08:29:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83vch5/hello_again_friends/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Give me the power to refuse this cake
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Mon Mar 12 08:24:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83vbc7/give_me_the_power_to_refuse_this_cake/
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https://i.redd.it/b6gp5220ecl01.jpg
[Help] Needing encouragement
/u/yellix332 [160cm | CW: 66.5kg | GW: 50kg | Gender: FtM]
Created: Mon Mar 12 07:43:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83v1bg/needing_encouragement/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Anti addiction drugs for bingeing?
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 07:14:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83uuyk/anti_addiction_drugs_for_bingeing/
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[removed]
[Discussion] EC stacking is helping me recover?
/u/motivatedcactus [5'3" | CW 114.5 | BMI 20.84 | UGW skinny | 18F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 07:05:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83ust8/ec_stacking_is_helping_me_recover/
---
I started EC stacking almost a week ago. Since the very first day I started, everything has been better. My cravings and urges to binge are GONE (spare only one or two weak moments that only lasted a minute) My first day I got really sick doing it and realized I needed to eat when I take the pills or I get icky feeling. So I've been having small ~200 calorie meals with each time I take the pill. My routine has been: First round of pills at 8:00AM with a ~200 calorie breakfast that I usually have fruit and rice cakes or eggs and rice cakes. Second round of pills at 12:00PM with a ~200 lunch usually a cup of noodles or a gerbers lil entree meal. And third round of pills at 4:00PM and depending on how hungry I am I'll either have a snack to hold me off until dinner or I'll have an early dinner. My daily goal on Carrot is set to ~1000 and I've been consistently eating about 2-300 under.
It's weird. My relationship with food is definitely worlds better, but I still have some disordered behaviors. For example, this morning I had 2 eggs with CHEESE! Which I never would have done before, but I felt comfortable with it today; but then I considered adding sour cream to it and yelled at myself internally for even considering it. Also, I've been eating somewhat normally, like a normal person who tracks calories, which seems like healthy behavior, but then I also refuse to eat more if I have calories left over after dinner. I like to have 2-300 left for the day because it just seems wrong and bad to eat up to the full 1000 even though that's low. The biggest one I've noticed is that most of the time when I have to eat to take the pills I'm not really hungry at all (well, I'm hungry but it could be ignored easily) so when I force myself to eat I sometimes get really guilty like my brain is angry with me for eating when I'm "not even that hungry"
So I guess I'm like, halfway recovered right now. Which I'm more than happy with because 1. I've stopped binging 2. I'm more mentally healthy and have a better relationship with food and 3. I'm losing weight! even faster than before. Therefore, I declare EC stacking the best thing in the world. For me, that is. Everyones different. Be safe you guys, love you
[Rant/Rave] Help me out here.
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" |CW 54kg |BMI 19| GW:48kg| Female]
Created: Mon Mar 12 07:03:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83usf6/help_me_out_here/
---
So basically I've a doctors appointment tomorrow (referral by my counsellor) to take bloods and check organs etc - I've never been to a doctor for anything ED so I'm really scared. My counsellor said they'd probably refer me to an in patient program.
Then, my period came yesterday for the first time in months. My boyfriend is really happy and keeps saying that it's great and I'm doing so well etc. But all I can think is that I've failed to be "good enough".
Tried explaining that to him and he didn't get it....
Pretty sure my suspected ED is an actual thing now but if I tell anyone it'll discredit the 'normal' weight loss I achieved through CICO
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 12 07:02:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83us7w/pretty_sure_my_suspected_ed_is_an_actual_thing/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My dog wouldn't let me weigh myself
/u/thinandmint [5' | 108 | GW 90 | š thinandmint]
Created: Mon Mar 12 06:46:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83uopb/my_dog_wouldnt_let_me_weigh_myself/
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I've been in a binge phase, know I'm gaining and seeing the number on the scale would make me feel like shit for the rest of the day.
But this g o o d b o y e would NOT let me weigh myself. Whenever I tried he would step on the scale and mess it up! It's like he somehow picked up on how distressed I get after weighing.
https://i.imgur.com/DR0oV5Hl.jpg
I'm seriously in tears over this. He is newly adopted and I've been having trouble bonding with him since my last dog died recently. I get so pissed when literally anyone tries to interfere with my ED habits but this made me actually go "hmm maybe I deserve to take care of myself."
[Help] Guy I hooked up with
/u/frida569 [163 cm | 74 kg | 15 kg | female]
Created: Mon Mar 12 06:37:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83umw1/guy_i_hooked_up_with/
---
[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! March 12, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 12 06:14:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83ui0m/weekly_stats_update_march_12_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for March 12, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 12, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 12 06:14:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83ui04/daily_food_diary_march_12_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 12, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] March 12th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 05:35:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83uaod/march_12th_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
Where do you live?
[Rant/Rave] I fainted at work
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 121 | BMI: 23.6 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 04:53:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83u3cv/i_fainted_at_work/
---
I've been really lightheaded since like last Wednesday and on Thursday I passed out in the elevator at work. I had to get wheeled to urgent care, get an EKG and a blood sugar test. Then I had to go back to the doctor the next day to get bloodwork done. I have no idea what's wrong with me, my closest guess is anemia or a magnesium deficiency. I'm not even close to underweight; I have no idea what this happened. I high restrict and eat about 800 cal/day on an average day, that shouldn't be making me faint. Has anyone else fainted while high restricting and do you know what the cause was? I don't want anyone at work to find out I have an ED, but I'm gonna have to tell them what's up once the blood work comes back. I don't know what to do and I don't know what's wrong with me.
I guess I'm just venting to people who would understand; I'm having such a hard time believing that this is ED related but if I'm seriously deficient in a lot of stuff, it has to be and I have to start upping my intake, I guess. I don't want to up my intake. I just want to reach my goal weight, but I can't keep having to take time off work. I missed 2 days last week because of this. I'm so afraid that if I up my intake I'm going to gain weight.
[Other] A comeback to those who say oh you're at fault for triggering my ED!
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 115 | 19.7 | meh | 26F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 04:21:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83txna/a_comeback_to_those_who_say_oh_youre_at_fault_for/
---
yeah it's true but it's like,
my ED thoughts and thinspo is like a lit match and it's up to you and your own choices to burn your own house down
normal people don't do that shit they just snuff the match
[Other] Interesting clipping from Simona Giordano's "Understanding Eating Disorders".
/u/letthetemptingbegin [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 23.49 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Mon Mar 12 04:17:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83twzc/interesting_clipping_from_simona_giordanos/
---
https://imgur.com/a/whqVq
[Rant/Rave] Why don't I ever feel good enough?
/u/cbunni666
Created: Mon Mar 12 03:41:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83tr4a/why_dont_i_ever_feel_good_enough/
---
I've been dealing with overweight issues all my life. I was never the side of a barn but I sure wasn't desirable either. I'm in my 30s. I feel like an I'm too old to feel like this. I thought only teenagers were like this. It wasn't until I reached my 10th wedding anniversary that I was almost 200 lbs at 5'3", no job, no college education and no children. My depression goes through the roof some days. Others I can manage.
My husband has been turning me down in bed. He says its because he's not in the mood or tired... That doesn't help my depressing any. At least the ice cream in the freezer didn't turn me away... 500 guilty calories later.... Still depressed. Now he's going on deployment for 6 months. I'm kinda glad because he eats horrible and I can't say no to pizza. I tried losing weight before and managed to when he was gone for 8 months. I was proud and healthy. I was in a bikini. Something I hadn't worn in 10 years.... Overshadowed by a death in the family and having to move to Japan within months of him coming home. Back up my weight shot in a matter of months. There is so much more I could talk about but I'll just leave it at the weight problem part. Thanks for reading.
[Tip] How to make legs thinner?
/u/shevildevil
Created: Mon Mar 12 02:32:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83tgft/how_to_make_legs_thinner/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] When ~recovery~ means feeling like a failure no matter what you do
/u/CeciNestPasOP [5'8" | CW: 126 | GW: happy | 22F]
Created: Mon Mar 12 01:40:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83t8iq/when_recovery_means_feeling_like_a_failure_no/
---
Most of the time I lift, I hit my calorie goals, I feel good, and I'm pretty sure I look okay. My hair feels thick and soft, my skin never cracks, my chest never hurts.
Except for the times when no amount of glute gains or ab definition will erase the fact that I never hit a two digit weight, and sometimes eating feels just *too easy*. My weight came back fast and I'm alarmed by how okay with it I am. I failed at anorexia, I'm a weakling who couldn't even manage to starve herself right.
And then there are the days like today - I lifted, but all I could think about in the squat rack was slicing the fat off of my disgusting thighs. The act of chewing and swallowing felt indecent. My brain screamed at me to skip dinner and for once I couldn't shout it down. So here I am, trying and failing to go to bed hungry, because I committed to this stupid fucking deficit, and I still feel like a failure. I'm too weak and irrational to recover. Too wrapped up in indulging my self pity to honor my commitment to be kind to my body. And feeling like a bloated beached whale, while I'm at it.
Please make up your mind, brain.
[Rant/Rave] I got a roommate so I would be accountable for my eating habits
/u/greenteabiotch
Created: Mon Mar 12 01:34:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83t7kz/i_got_a_roommate_so_i_would_be_accountable_for_my/
---
But she eats solely McDonald's, nutella, and toblerone and she's lost two kilos...
Also I ate three croissants for brekkie instead of my planned meal of coffee and I'm breaking out soo bad and my teacher commented that I got chubbier (I live in Asia so this is super common,) and I'm pretty sure I gained weight from just seeing the Mickey D's bag and uhf.
Time for a "cleanse." šš
[Rant/Rave] The truth is subjective and I am it's master!
/u/ratorture [5'10 | 135 | 18.9| Perpetual Recovery|]
Created: Mon Mar 12 00:30:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83sxno/the_truth_is_subjective_and_i_am_its_master/
---
Anyone else not believe concrete facts + numbers, eg. BMI, because they don't match up with your ~feelings? I don't believe my BMI because I'm at my HW so I'm pretty sure that means my BMI should be around 22 - 23. I don't believe my size either, because society would consider it 'S' and I know I'm physically large. Anyone else crazy? I'm so confused about myself right now I can't even picture what I might look like. :P
[Rant/Rave] Wow
/u/WaitingForHealing
Created: Sun Mar 11 23:47:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83sqmp/wow/
---
This guy I used to fuck when I was 18-19 texted me. Weāve been talking for a few days and he is such a fuck boy. Does the *action here* and āitz kool 2 type like your 15 againzā
He only got back in touch with me for sex. He was a total ass twice and blocked me the second time. He is claiming we should go out to eat and watch movies together like we used but then admitted he ājust needs sexā.
Whatever, Iām horny too so whatever.
You guys are the only ones I can tell this shit to.
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like you look skinny enough but...
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: 99 | GW:88 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 23:43:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83spxv/dae_feel_like_you_look_skinny_enough_but/
---
It still bothers you that you don't weigh as much as you wish bc same.
Idk, I just constantly feel like *nah, no way I look like this at X pounds!* or *if I look like this at X, imagine how great I'd look at Y pounds!* or *the mirror is lying to me* and ughhhhhhhhhhh
I just wanna reach my GW as soon as possible, that's all, I don't wanna spend my entire life chasing after something so stupid, I just wanna reach it and I'm done with it, I would move on with my life, I would finally be comfortable enough to do those things I'm afraid of at my CW, just let me have that pleasure for a short moment...
im so proud of myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 11 23:30:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83snqw/im_so_proud_of_myself/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i feel ridiculous, i'm having a crappy night
/u/meg-rad
Created: Sun Mar 11 22:59:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83si99/i_feel_ridiculous_im_having_a_crappy_night/
---
i overeat. i eat and eat and eat and eat when i'm not even hungry. i go to the grocery store specifically to buy junk food (usually ice cream or chips) and i'll go home and eat it all in front of the television. i haven't been able to exercise in a few months due to a breathing issue. i feel fucking disgusting all the time and i've gained so much weight.
the biggest problem is i catch myself wishing i could purge, or wishing i could fast all day, or wishing i could do anything besides binge eat. i feel ridiculous for almost wishing i had a "true" eating disorder, whatever that even means. after research and reflection i know that i'm probably dealing with binge eating disorder, which is very much so a "real" eating disorder, as is every eating disorder. i feel insensitive and stupid and alone.
i just needed to get that out. i've creeped on this subreddit a few times but i've never interacted. i hope everyone is having a better night than i am :/
[edit-- i am taking steps to fix the breathing problem, i've seen a bunch of doctors and i'll be having a minor surgery to fix it!]
[Other] How much do you think she weighs?
/u/GameofLoans16
Created: Sun Mar 11 22:57:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83si0t/how_much_do_you_think_she_weighs/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Embarrassing ED moments of the week
/u/fernsandfoxes [5ā6ā | CW:123 | BMI:19.93 | GW:110 | 18F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 22:06:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83s8mx/embarrassing_ed_moments_of_the_week/
---
The other night I sat in my car in the the dorm parking lot eating an entire chocolate cheesecake by myself because I didnāt want my roommates to see my b/p sesh. Yesterday my roommate was gone and I ran out food during a binge. She had a little bit of veggie sticks left and I ate themā¦ then proceeded to drive to three different stores until I found the exact brand she bought. I replaced the small amount and b/pād the rest. So thatās how my weekend went, going to extremes to fuel my binges š
Anyone wanna share their recent embarrassing ED moments?
[Help] My eating disorder has ruined my 20's and my life. My whole life is my ED, and I don't see ever leading a different one, just feeling exhausted...
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sun Mar 11 21:28:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83s1i9/my_eating_disorder_has_ruined_my_20s_and_my_life/
---
My entire life is my eating disorder. All I think about on restriction days is what will my day look like. I plan ahead, make sure I am the one cooking or coming up with the idea for takeout, etc.
My relationship of soooo many years is going down the drain and all I think about is my ED. I think I may lose the love of my life because of it. I am very sad but just cant fix it right now. I have no desire for doing anything fun and just a lack of life enjoyment.
On the weekends I either B/P, C/S or will lax OR all 3. This leaves me completely dead and I wind up sleeping most of the weekend away.
I am exhausted mentally and physically. I sleep the weekend away not due to just wanting to rest but lately I have been unable to physically stay coherent. I just pass out from my body being fucked up. Most days I just pass out, I feel dead.
I can not see a life without my ED, ever. Dying thin and looking frail in my casket is my dream right now. I honestly just want it to kill me already. I want to die and be turned to ash.
[Discussion] Have any of you guys tried fit bowls?
/u/gothicapples
Created: Sun Mar 11 21:01:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83rvyk/have_any_of_you_guys_tried_fit_bowls/
---
I just found them at my grocery and wany to know what everyone though about them
[Other] Progress
/u/KitteeChaos
Created: Sun Mar 11 20:43:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83rs28/progress/
---
[removed]
[Help] How long does it take your weight to settle?
/u/ThisIsNotGumpy [5'2 | 97 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 20:04:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83rjtg/how_long_does_it_take_your_weight_to_settle/
---
Iāve increased my intake and seen a spike in my weight immediately. How long does it take for my body to get used to this or will this be my new weight range?
[Rant/Rave] i just tried to log my period in mfp
/u/robotwithadream [5'7" | CW: 129.2 | UGW: 110 | xx | F |]
Created: Sun Mar 11 19:40:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83reqf/i_just_tried_to_log_my_period_in_mfp/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I really wish I could watch movies or TV like a normal person and not obsess over how much prettier and thinner every actress is compared to me
/u/misspennyfoolish
Created: Sun Mar 11 19:09:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83r7x6/i_really_wish_i_could_watch_movies_or_tv_like_a/
---
Tried to tell my mom, she says Iām just shallow, superficial and fishing for compliments.
Iāve been like this with movies since I was a kid. But itās gotten worse again lately (romantic rejection and general anxiety and feeling fat, ugly, and inadequate)
I miss TV and movies so I am trying to watch them again. I wish I could just focus on the story. Iām not even enjoying it as thinspo, bc I know my face is unfortunate compared to them and that my body proportions are such that I wonāt even look that good even at my goal weight.
Iām not the only one right?
[Rant/Rave] Ugh
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 130 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 20 F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 18:58:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83r5lo/ugh/
---
Laying on the couch after a very hearty dinner at RubyTuesday's with my fiancee family who know because my fiancee told them all about my ED .... like a jackass. And all I can smell are the chips laying on the table.
Like legit this weekend has been massive binge.
This weekends food
Friday: 2 diets, 5 spicy chicken strips from work. Bbq ranch wings from Dominos
Saturday: 1 diet. A chicken bbq ranch sub from dominos. 6 pieces of spinach fetta cheese bites from.... dominos
Sunday: last 2 pieces of spinach fetta cheese bites, and steamed brocolli, mashed potatoes, and hickory burbon chicken with 2 full glasses of regular sprite.
I hate myself and am a fat lard of a whale. Like why did i order so much food from dominos? Why did I eat it all? Why do i hate myself? Why did i tell my fiancee about my ED? Why why why?
And now every time we go anywhere with my mother in law. She tries to get me to eat and always mentions I'm getting so skinny? Yet I've been at 130 since august? Wtf
[Rant/Rave] Heaviest I've ever been
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 11 18:46:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83r2zi/heaviest_ive_ever_been/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83r2zi/heaviest_ive_ever_been/
[Rant/Rave] IF I Could Go Back My Starting Weight, I Would
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 11 18:45:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83r2m0/if_i_could_go_back_my_starting_weight_i_would/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] anybody else feeling discouraged due to their current weight? :/
/u/fortunate-foolx [62 in. | CW:whale | GW: feather | -13 | 18F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 18:44:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83r2cy/anybody_else_feeling_discouraged_due_to_their/
---
i just want to be lighter. but i keep binging, and i feel so disgusting and out of control. I DONT WANT TO BE 236 POUNDS BC I CANT STOP MY BED ANYMORE. I lost 40 lbs last year, was extremely happy, but restricting. I passed out and decided to ārecoverā and lose weight healthy, but ended up entering a massssive binge cycle and gaining 60 lbs. fuck. back on the restriction train i guess?
[Discussion] EDs and confidence. Is there a correlation?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 11 18:43:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83r25u/eds_and_confidence_is_there_a_correlation/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Shitty 10y.o. Jezebel post bashes EDs out of nowhere and I'm depressed
/u/happymasq [5'6'' | CW 106 | BMI 17.18 | 26F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 17:45:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83qop1/shitty_10yo_jezebel_post_bashes_eds_out_of/
---
Lately, I've been doing some reading about the question of 'settling' in relationships. One famous take on this is a piece by Lori Gottlieb, who is the subject of [this post](https://jezebel.com/354535/settle-for-mr-just-ok--while-your-marital-value-is-still-at-its-peak).
Gottlieb's views are controversial and I don't support them. In fact, I was specifically looking for a rebuttal to her, which is why I read this post. What I wasn't expecting to find here was a completely irrelevant attack on Gottlieb's eating disorder:
> And think, wait a minute, something's not right with his lady.
> At which point you google her, learn that she not only wrote a memoir about how she's a recovering anorexic but now has an author bio page on her website on which all the photos of herself feature her in super "skinny" poses.
> See? She's ana. A perfectionist, a number-cruncher, a quantitatively-minded overachiever obsessed with stats. Of course she never managed to find someone to "settle" on before! She's incapable of settling! It's like giving up. Like eating carbs.
> Anyway, apologies to Lori, but it was kind of a relief to learn that, at the very least, her problems are different from mine, and probably yours, too.
This caught me totally off-guard and, to be honest, it hurt my feelings. I was admittedly depressed to begin with (which is why I was hunting for perspectives on relationships) but this passage cut deep.
Like I said, I don't even like Gottlieb or agree with her. I'm hurt that there are people who would use a person's eating disorder to dismiss their views on an entirely unrelated topic.
It's even more reason to bury the struggle as deep as possible and never talk about it with anyone.
[Other] Food Commentators
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 17:10:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83qgo7/food_commentators/
---
https://i.redd.it/oj6hpfmuu7l01.png
[Help] How to stop seeing my nutritionist?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 11 17:08:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83qg9e/how_to_stop_seeing_my_nutritionist/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83qg9e/how_to_stop_seeing_my_nutritionist/
[Rant/Rave] I'm telling everyone that I'm recovering, however I can totally see myself not actually recovering and instead hiding in plain sight.
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 25F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 16:02:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83q0ba/im_telling_everyone_that_im_recovering_however_i/
---
I decided to try and choose recovery - for the benefit of myself, my relationship, my job...I started a 'recovery instagram' as cringe as that is, where I post my calories and any exercise I've done for that day (I'm doing PIIT28) to keep myself accountable.
At first I tried for 1400kcal a day. That went down to 1200kcal a day. Now, I've had to force myself up to 1000kcal a day.
I went on a city break this weekend with my boyfriend and completely crashed, about how depressed I was about my body and my looks and he thinks I'm batshit insane now. I'm literally waiting for him to dump me. The only thing I have right now for stability is losing weight. I can see myself falling down this pit again, and I keep reminding myself that in 10 weeks I can be at my UGW if I eat 1200kcal every day. I don't even want to recover I don't think, but it's easier to tell people that I'm "losing weight in a healthier way", and that I was "so bad with bingeing and fasting before that it made me miserable."
But I really just want that stability. I don't even weigh myself anymore. I just love restricting. I love walking through hunger. I love seeing how much nutrients I can pack into the least amount of calories.
My job is all over the place, I'm screwing up my relationship with someone I wanted to spend my entire life with and my friends are all leaving the company that we work for. And here I am, trying to keep afloat any way that I can.
[Rant/Rave] Purged again, don't want to purge again
/u/obama_means_family [Height 5'7" | CW 153.2 | BMI 24 | HW 190 | Gender F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 15:48:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83pwxm/purged_again_dont_want_to_purge_again/
---
So for the last week I was successful in eating sub 700 cals every day. Most of my food was fruits and veggies with a mixed drink at the end of the day a couple times. Had no problems with hunger bc of EC stack (also messed up stomach from my teen years) and was super happy with my progress.
I live with my sister and her kids but also share an apartment with two friends. I stay at my sister's during the weekdays and it's super easy to just pick out clementines, peaches, pears, kiwi, avocado, cucumber, or whatever other fruits veggies we have at any given time. I finish babysitting my nephew then walk to the apartment and either go to work or hang out with my friends and can still eat a good amount within my limit if other people want to get food.
Then the weekend comes. I work at a Tex Mex restaurant and yesterday I decided that I needed to eat since I hadn't eaten anything all day and I don't want anyone at work to suspect anything. I wound up eating an enchilada, rice, a queso tostada, and the veggies off my chalupa. Before I even started eating the guilt set in. The entire time I was telling myself that I didn't need to, I should just stop eating the food I didn't even like anyway (had it too often from working there almost a year now). I ate until I was full, then overfull, then painfully full, then purged everything. Later at my apartment my roommate and a friend who is staying with us talked about walking over to the HEB where I could have picked out literally any grocery item and been satisfied but they wound up going for pizza instead. I ate two pieces of cheese pizza and two pieces of cheese bread and cue the guilt and purge session.
Today at work we ordered in Chinese and I ate until my stomach felt awful at ~700 cals (that's just my guess bc I couldn't find reliable nutrition info for general tso's) even though it was less than half my food. I spent the next hour actively convincing myself that I didn't need to purge, I was still under my cals for the day, still way under what I should technically be eating with my activity level, etc. Because I was busy with taking care of my tables and other work shit, I managed to work through it until I reached the point where purging would be pointless and I had to accept that this food was being digested.
This finally lead to me making a realization that maybe my purging and guilt around food isn't just about amount, it's about what food I'm eating. I could have eaten way more volume wise but fewer calories and healthier by eating fruits/veggies/nuts/whatever "health food" I felt interested in without the guilt, bloating, desire to purge, etc.
Now I realize that I am not suggesting an actually healthy change, but I already had orthorexic tendencies and if I am honest I would pick that 1000 times over my bulimic tendencies. I hate feeling like "vomit girl" and I know if I continue down that path it will just make my life worse. But I'm not ready to recover. If I'm going to deal with disordered eating anyway, why not eat food that doesn't make me hate myself and will actually make me lose weight more quickly and be more nutritionally balanced?
[Tip] I just discovered the greatest snack ever
/u/SasssyFrass [5'4" | CW: 111 lb GW: 100 lb | BMI: 19.1]
Created: Sun Mar 11 15:31:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83psss/i_just_discovered_the_greatest_snack_ever/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] BDSM is making it waaaay harder to purge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 11 15:11:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83pnrl/bdsm_is_making_it_waaaay_harder_to_purge/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Can you not comment on my food?
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 112 | BMI 17.5| -15 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 14:52:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83pj2t/can_you_not_comment_on_my_food/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Step right up ladies and gents! Welcome to the freak show!
/u/ohlookadoggo
Created: Sun Mar 11 14:48:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83piap/step_right_up_ladies_and_gents_welcome_to_the/
---
Take a look at this half woman, half cow!
Yesterday I went to a wedding with a table that had 6,000 cookies. I had dinner there and they sent a box of cookies home with everyone. Then today at work one of the ladies made homemade mac n cheese and collard greens. Plus there is a cheesecake in the fridge.
I can tell my period is coming because I have absolutely no control around any fucking food and have just been binging so hard I feel humongous and like a nasty cow :(
I didnāt workout today so Iām feeling extra guilty. Anyone else get so ravenous on their period? Ughhh. Just needed to vent. Tomorrow is the start of a new week so no bingeing!!
I can do this!
[Discussion] Does anybody have any experience with period being late?
/u/jenny4your-thoughts
Created: Sun Mar 11 14:25:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83pch6/does_anybody_have_any_experience_with_period/
---
Iām not sure if itās from weight loss or not. I recently lost a significant amount of weight due to strict calorie restriction (30 lbs in 50 days) and now all of a sudden my period is a week late. Iām freaking out because thereās a possibility that it could be pregnancy due to unprotected sex with my partner. Iām terrified and just wonder if anyone else has gone through this and what your opinions are? TIA!!!
[Rant/Rave] I feel like a failure. Slightly off topic.
/u/hmptrw
Created: Sun Mar 11 13:07:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83osyu/i_feel_like_a_failure_slightly_off_topic/
---
Please feel free to ignore or report this if this is too far off topic. This is the only sub I ever really rant on and youāre all my faves.
So my self esteem has been low for a few days, but I took a mental health day yesterday to get it back on track a little so that I could actually function. I went to work today, and saw a girl that Iāve known since primary school whoās always been a little off with me. I canāt really explain it? She is perfectly pleasant in the things she says to me, but itās more how she says them? At first I thought it was paranoia but my Mam noticed it as well (she lives on the same estate as me so she sees my Mam regularly at the shops and things).
Anyway, she said hello to me and I said it back, asked how she was, and congratulated her on her new pregnancy, then I carried on past her to start working on another section. But after I passed I heard her whisper something to her boyfriend. I know it was about me but I couldnāt make it out.
And my self confidence is just shot, again. I had to leave the shop floor twice to cry.
Weāre the same age (23). She has her own business (makeup artist) sheās got the perfect body, she has her own home, a good partner, and a baby on the way. I work weekend shifts with a load of teenagers in an affordable clothing store that shall not be named (rhymes with Shymark for UK redditors), and live at home. I feel like I worked so hard (a-levels through to a masters degree) for nothing, and everythingās sort of fell into her lap.
Ugh. At least itās put me off eating?
[Other] It's pathetic how much not eating is cheering me up right now
/u/extemely_basic [5'7 |Don't ask don't tell | GW 115lbs | -40lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Mar 11 11:34:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83o5v6/its_pathetic_how_much_not_eating_is_cheering_me/
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Going through a really rough breakup at the moment. I didn't want to split, we're still living together...it's a real shit situation. Been crying for almost 2 days straight.
And despite all this, my one shining light is the fact that I am too depressed to eat properly, and I'm excited to lose more weight as a result.
Wtf is my life
[Discussion] Why do you think we want to hide our disorders?
/u/sorrycells [5'8" | OSFED | 24F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 11:24:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83o3d9/why_do_you_think_we_want_to_hide_our_disorders/
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I don't know about you guys, but I had the hardest time telling anyone about what was going on with me. I struggled with restriction, laxatives, purging through exercise, and then binging for like... 5 years before I went to a therapist or told a doctor. I told my mom after 4 years and her reaction made it seem like she hadn't cared, and that really hurt me. But at the same time, I was obviously trying to hide all of my behaviors from everyone. I don't know why I wanted people to notice so badly but also was *so afraid* of anyone finding out.
Is anyone else like that? Why do you think so?
[Discussion] Transformations
/u/blakaroni
Created: Sun Mar 11 11:07:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83nz43/transformations/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate how we aren't allowed to be honest
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | CW oops | GW 93lbs]
Created: Sun Mar 11 10:57:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83nwn5/i_hate_how_we_arent_allowed_to_be_honest/
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When I'm in the depths of depression, it's okay for me to say, "I'm sorry, I don't think I'm up for going out tonight--I'm feeling pretty down."
When my anxiety is through the roof, I can say, "I think a party would be too much for me right now."
But ANYTHING eating disorder related? NOPE. Not allowed. Bye. EVEN WHEN IT'S FOR MY OWN GOOD.
I want to be able to say, "I think I'm just going to get a cup of coffee; I'm worried I'll purge if I order a whole meal." I want to be able to say, "I'll pass on those cookies; they look great, but I know they'll lead to a binge." Or, GOD FORBID I say, "I'm just not feeling like eating right now."
I'm sick of the lies. I hate how everything ED-related is taboo. It just makes everything even more lonely...
[Rant/Rave] I just need to rant (TMI ahead)
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | went to treatment | send help | 24F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 10:52:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83nvkc/i_just_need_to_rant_tmi_ahead/
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I've been restricting and fasting consistently the last 11 days (so, since March 1st). According to Happy Scale I've lost a total of 5 pounds since then. But my weight has fluctuated SO MUCH in the last 11 days I feel like I'm dying from anxiety. I THOUGHT I had a binge on Thursday night when I went out drinking with my roommate and we "shared" a plate of nachos but apparently I blacked out and ate exactly 2 nachos (each nacho had some cheese and a couple of black beans). I thought I hate half a plate of nachos so I was happy to know I literally ate just 2. Knowing that I still overestimated my calories in MFP and including alcohol ~only~ had 831 calories.
Since then I've been eating sub 700 calories because I'm PMSing and am trying to up my intake so I don't eat unsafe foods. So I've been eating less than 700 calories of safe foods only.
Anyways, the scale is up .8 pounds since yesterday despite eating 679 calories yesterday. I know it's because I'm PMSing and my period is due in probably 5 days or so. But still. I'm losing my mind. I don't understand why my weight has been fluctuating even before PMS started this month. When I was relapsing last year I've never had this much weight fluctuation, and when I did, it was because I was getting closer to underweight where it was harder to lose weight at a quick rate. I'm going insane and I don't know what do to.
I'm also not having regular BM's and I'm trying not to take Miralax because I don't "feel" constipated. But I know if I do take Miralax I will probably pass a decent BM. I also have diuretics to help flush out water weight but the diuretics make me pee almost ever 15 minutes and that's not a life I want to live.
I don't understand the fluctuations. I've been eating low sodium and even though I eat carbs, I never eat more than 30g net carbs per day and eat over 50g of protein a day.
I feel like crying and I just needed to rant. I hope you've all had a great weekend :)
[Rant/Rave] Unfortunate coffee shop nausea...
/u/letthetemptingbegin [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 23.49 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Sun Mar 11 10:37:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83ns66/unfortunate_coffee_shop_nausea/
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I stopped into a coffee shop today (sitting here now) for the sake of a rest and a bottle of water. I passed by their bakery section with all the 500-something-calorie chocolate/cheese/whatever-filled cupcakes and all that rubbish, and the thought of how sickly and vile they looked had me so nauseous that I was nearly sick on the spot. I did have to hurry through the checkout and go to the toilets, but thankfully I just retched a bit and left it at that.
It was unfortunate, though. I can't help but think of the chaos if I really had puked there. Everyone would've thought I were drunk. I know it's no use worrying about it but I can't shift the image of an entire fancy coffee shop thinking I wandered in drunk. I'm really anxious about it now. If such a thing were ever to happen anywhere, the whole chain would ban me. That would be rough, as when I'm outdoors and it's warm and I start to fall asleep I need to sit down and have a nice large black coffee.
[Discussion] DAE have surreal dreams while restricting
/u/Strfless
Created: Sun Mar 11 10:24:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83nox9/dae_have_surreal_dreams_while_restricting/
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Because holy shit have been my dreams been crazy. I usually canāt remember my dreams at all but not only are they weird as fuck/hyper realistic but I remember them a little more. Is this a thing lol ?
+edit: they arenāt ED related dreams either (unless you wanna get into dream analysis lmao)
AN
/u/hollywould83 [5 ft 2 in | 98.6| | 30 | Female]
Created: Sun Mar 11 09:10:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83n8e7/an/
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[removed]
[Discussion] March 11th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 08:48:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83n3wb/march_11th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What was something you wanted today, but couldnāt have?
[Help] Best tips for protecting your teeth?
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 129 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.1 | F21]
Created: Sun Mar 11 08:35:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83n1gx/best_tips_for_protecting_your_teeth/
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As much as I want to go back to just restricting and no binging/purging, idk how likely that is right now. Iāve been overeating and throwing up multiple times a day for the last week, and donāt see myself stopping anytime soon.
My teeth already are feeling more sensitive, despite precautions Iāve been trying to take. I rinse my mouth out with baking soda and water after im done, and try not to brush my teeth right away after. I know how horrible bulimia is for your teeth, and im getting really bad anxiety about it.
Is there anything else you guys do to keep your teeth from getting too damaged?
Concussed and Struggling
/u/autumnsadventure
Created: Sun Mar 11 08:35:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83n1av/concussed_and_struggling/
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So, in short, at about 11am today (Sunday, it's now 2:30pm here) I hit my head really hard on a doorway at work. It became evident pretty quickly that I successfully gave myself a minor concussion (dizziness, feeling very sick, can't see more than 10cm in front of me). I was sent home 3 hours later, and I'm now curled up on my sofa with a tea watching TV. Now here's my struggle.
The sickness has subsided by 50% or so. I'm still dizzy and tired and have a terrible headache and still can't see. I was planning a limit of a total 200cals today (half of that is from 2 large homemade cappuchinos). As soon as I got home I had a mini 200-300cal or so binge. I'm not sure if I should just let it happen, and try to regain my strength so I can go back to work tomorrow, keep my cals extra low tomorrow and get back into the gym for a 400+cal cardio session in the morning.
I spose my question is, should I eat more today and not stress about my calories because I have a concussion, or is the extra food not going to help it heal anyway so should I just fast for the rest of the day instead?
[Help] Hungry as HELL after taking EC Stack
/u/supemery
Created: Sun Mar 11 08:31:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83n0mx/hungry_as_hell_after_taking_ec_stack/
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Today, I took an EC stack for the very first time. I didn't go overboard, I cut the Bronkaid in half. And I'm definitely feeling good, but I'M SO HUNGRY. I normally don't eat until the afternoon and I'm usually only a little bit hungry. Do you guys usually eat when you take your EC stack? What's the deal???
[Help] fasting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 11 07:44:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83mrp3/fasting/
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[deleted]
Calorie restriction vs. Pure fasting: fasting has up to SIX TIMES more fat loss, and BMR increases instead of dropping compared to caloric restriction
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Sun Mar 11 07:33:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83mpwf/calorie_restriction_vs_pure_fasting_fasting_has/
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https://idmprogram.com/difference-calorie-restriction-fasting-fasting-27/
[Discussion] DAE get freaked out by peopleās food posts?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 07:16:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83mn6g/dae_get_freaked_out_by_peoples_food_posts/
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For example I follow r/1200isplenty and most of the time itās okay but this morning I saw someone that was like āmy cheat breakfast! 1000 calories!ā and it was just some eggs and bacon and a slice of toast. And it totally threw me off because now itās like āif thatās 1000 calories than I must be eating so many more calories than I thought!!!ā *fasts forever*.
[Help] I might have to go in-patient..
/u/ThisIsNotGumpy [5'2 | 97 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 06:50:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83miva/i_might_have_to_go_inpatient/
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Iām home from college for Spring Break (!!) and at my appointment my therapist and nutritionist both agreed that if I donāt gain weight this week I have to go in-patient and take medical leave from school.
I left my nutritionist with different exchanges and ran them by my therapist who told me that, in the place I am, exchanges were most likely not going to work.
So now Iām so confused as to what Iām supposed to be eating and no one will tell me what kind of calorie intake I should be shooting for because āYouāre too fixated on caloriesā. Well, yeah. However, how the actual fuck am I meant to eat properly when Iām told my nutritionist is wrong and you wonāt tell me what I should be eating instead?? Iām so confused and itās such a triggering place to be.
I hate this and I just want to go back home to my apartment.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 11, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 11 06:11:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83md89/daily_food_diary_march_11_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 11, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 11 06:11:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83md5t/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
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Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Discussion] anyone have very extreme daydreams/fantasies about reaching their UGW?
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Sun Mar 11 05:32:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83m7yz/anyone_have_very_extreme_daydreamsfantasies_about/
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i just realize there are woman who just GRIND every day focused on their academics and stuff and not caring so much about their body. then theres me...like i fantasize about being a model or social media famous or whatever like what am i doing? I know those are all unrealistic, shouldn't i be spending time daydreaming about my career and being a successful woman? god help me :D
[Help] could anybody give me some workout pointers please?
/u/loveflakes
Created: Sun Mar 11 04:38:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83m0v5/could_anybody_give_me_some_workout_pointers_please/
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[removed]
[Goal] ABC Before summer
/u/poppybex
Created: Sun Mar 11 04:27:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83lzmc/abc_before_summer/
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https://i.redd.it/2qvu4dyu24l01.jpg
[Discussion] ok....how do you guys handle pre-shark week??
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Sun Mar 11 03:57:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83lvuo/okhow_do_you_guys_handle_preshark_week/
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If you guys don't know what i'm talking about, it's PMS. Period is fine for me but MAN I feel like CRAP during pms...plus i always gain four pounds and i'm permanently bloated
it's a million times harder not to binge, i literally end up CRYING trying to resist eating ): and in general i just feel sooo poopy. do you guys actually maintain a restricted diet or do you just say screw it, i'm eating my feelings...
[Help] The idea of Skinny fat vs. Fit fat?
/u/glossboy
Created: Sun Mar 11 03:37:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83ltg4/the_idea_of_skinny_fat_vs_fit_fat/
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In the Summer time I was eating around 600-1000 calories a day while working out moderately about 3-5 times a week either running/cycling for an hour or doing a home work out video that included squats, burpees and crunches etc.
I lost approximately 20 pounds in 70 days.
I've been in a binge restrict cycle for nearly 5 months now and this is the worst binge week I've had.
I was about 159 lbs at my highest and 150 while eating "normally."
Currently I've gained back weight and I'm approximately 139-144 pounds.
I put on these pair of pants that I used to wear when I was 150-159 lbs and now they're even **tighter** than before.
I feel like a mess and it makes me want to cry. I know the science behind the idea that muscles is smaller than fat even if they weigh the same but does this mean I'm just as fat looking as I was when I was 159 lbs... I didn't measure anything so I can't even compare the sizes anymore.
My stomach doesn't just feel bloated it feels like I'm just hyperaware of the fat globbed onto my stomach now.
I don't have the energy to workout anymore and I'd rather just not eat but I don't want to look as though I'm 130 lbs when I reach 100 lbs........
[Rant/Rave] Indecisive
/u/AllFamiliar [5ā3ā | CW: 107 lbs | BMI: 18.93 | UGW: 97 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 03:16:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83lqxw/indecisive/
---
Around August my family kept pointing out how I gained a lot of weight (birth control and getting autoimmune issue under control, also a big cause: COLLEGE FOOD). All of my weight hits my lower half and ONLY my lower half, so it was pretty noticeable when I gained weight. I wouldāve considered myself in recovery at that point and was taking a lot of pride in my progress, but it was a big adjustment for me to be comfortable with my new body and I had to put all of my effort into positive thinking.
Fast forward to October and I was home from college and my mother got me a gym membership and kept making comments about how I need to take charge of my weight because the cellulite on my lower half will be harder to lose as I age and she wants me to age nicely and not hate my body like she hates hers. She also accused me of binge eating and made a point to call me out whenever I would ābingeā (shes from a European country and thinks all american portions are binges). After coming home from college I was under a lot of legal stress and had a lot of big adjustments to make. Thatās when my recovery ended and I began restricting and abusing exercise again to cope and lost about 30 pounds in a little over a month. Due to being on another medication, my weight jumped back up another 10 pounds, but itās honestly not THAT bad for me compared to where I used to be, considering some of it is muscle now from my trips to the gym. Once I lose this weight and a little bit more iāll be maintaining.
What is bugging me more than anything is the fact that yesterday my mom told my family that iām glowing and finally look healthy now that I gained weight. I weighed more when she was harassing me to work out and eat less but sheās satisfied that I āgained weightā now? Iām the shortest girl in my family and I weigh the most out of all of my siblings which is a big factor behind my ED as iām always being compared to them. My family thought my oldest sister had an ED but she denied it when the doctor was giving her resources. From a glance I donāt really have the stereotypical sickly look so I know I wonāt be singled out, so I at least have that comfort. I just donāt know how my mom doesnāt understand how damaging her remarks are to a growing young woman. Itās beyond my comprehension how she canāt make a correlation between my weight fluctuation and her words/my stress. I confided with her in the past about my childhood ED history so she does know what i am capable of. You would think she would be more careful about her negative comments about my body after hearing about that part of my life. Itās even more confusing to me when I hear shame and then praise for my figure because I rely on others view of me to determine how in shape I am due to my body dysmorphia. If my own mother has that view of me it just makes me even more terrified of what other people think when they see me at a higher weight...
[Rant/Rave] UGGGH the pro-recovery Tumblrs.... whyyyy?
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 110.0 | 20.84 | -10 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 11 00:00:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83l9mt/ugggh_the_prorecovery_tumblrs_whyyyy/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone else watch EDucating shanny?/do you follow any YouTubers with EDās
/u/gothicapples
Created: Sat Mar 10 23:25:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83l4ls/does_anyone_else_watch_educating_shannydo_you/
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I have been following her for a while and she makes some interesting eating disorder related content
Also wondering if you guys watch any youtubers that have EDās or related videos?
Please no Eugenia Cooney Iām so sick of hearing about her
[Discussion] Anyone from Mexico?
/u/Bananafo
Created: Sat Mar 10 22:39:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83kx5r/anyone_from_mexico/
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Hi, as someone who suffers from an ED and is mexican, I would like to know uf any members from this subreddit is mexican as well and would like to talk :) Iām 19 yo :)
[Rant/Rave] Binged - 1,590 Calorie Day
/u/throwaway7483838_a
Created: Sat Mar 10 22:35:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83kwir/binged_1590_calorie_day/
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I ate an entire 12 inch pizza. It was a white pizza with no toppings or sauce, just cheese. But either way it was greasy. My goal per day is about 1200, but I prefer to keep it around 800. The 1200 calories is what I put into MyFitnessPal so that I could make sure that I definitely lose some weight, even if I go over my preferred 800.
I was at 250 calories, and I was planning on eating some dinner, but about 300 calories at best. I ate 2 pieces of lightly buttered toast (200 cals) and about 5 saltine crackers (50 calories). During the day, until a few hours ago where I ate a 12 INCH PIZZA.
Dang, I feel disgusting. Really gross. It hasnāt been a good week for me at all restriction wise.
(Note - Iām not looking for tips, Iām honestly just ranting and Iām upset with myself. I donāt want anyone to tell me no looking for tips, or asking for them. Iām not.)
[Rant/Rave] Officially canāt tell whether my ED is causing my depression or if my depression is causing my ED
/u/HappinessIsClose [5'9 | 161.2 | 23.4 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 21:47:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83kolm/officially_cant_tell_whether_my_ed_is_causing_my/
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How can one person have so many flaws lol
[Rant/Rave] Mouth sounds š¤¢ kill me
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 21:01:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83kgf2/mouth_sounds_kill_me/
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I just watched a movie with my dad and before we started, he cut apart 3 (!!!!!) avocados and an orange and was eating them for seriously 30 minutes with the smacky slurpy chewy sounds and it was so disgusting. Finally he was done and I went to the bathroom and when I came back he had a pack of Ritz (still in the sleeve for maximum volume) with some sour cream dip for even more crunching sounds. In addition, he kept talking through the movie and also falling asleep and snoring. /rant
[Rant/Rave] Guess whoās binging on popcorn at work?
/u/pickles023 [5'6"|CW: 130|BMI: 21.07|GW: 110|22 F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 20:48:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83kdvd/guess_whos_binging_on_popcorn_at_work/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Missed my best friends birthday party because I thought I looked fat
/u/bloomoonxx [5"8 | BMI: 19 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 20:09:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83k6rj/missed_my_best_friends_birthday_party_because_i/
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I feel so guilty. Plus itās a dinner and I donāt wanna eat in front of people. I feel so bad, I wanted to go but I just couldnāt. I think sheās gonna be mad at me now but I donāt know what to tell her. I physically could not bring myself to go. I know a few girls who are going who are sooo thin and beautiful and I would feel horrible about myself so I knew I would feel better if I stayed home. Fuck. I havenāt felt this bad in a while. Have anyone else missed something important cause you just couldnāt bring yourself to go?
[Help] [advice needed] [18/F] Going to a sushi/hot pot buffet and worried that I'm going to binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 10 19:38:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83k0s7/advice_needed_18f_going_to_a_sushihot_pot_buffet/
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[deleted]
[Help] Anyone experience shortness of breath while recovering from ābulimiaā
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 10 19:38:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83k0nw/anyone_experience_shortness_of_breath_while/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Triggered at art gallery
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Sat Mar 10 19:31:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83jzay/triggered_at_art_gallery/
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I went to an art gallery downtown. Every piece depicting a woman there was impossibly thin. They all looked so dainty and graceful. I basically regret everything I ate today.
It sort of sucks that our beauty ideals are so subliminal. We are programmed to like a certain body type and think that itās beautiful. Like In different cultures itās gorgeous to be voluptuous.
It just sucks. I would love to see more art that displays people of different sizes and proportions so people could feel less... different.
[Rant/Rave] Intro + positive announcement :))
/u/shittyasscarbs
Created: Sat Mar 10 19:10:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83jv9t/intro_positive_announcement/
---
Hi! Iām Nikkie.
Iāve actually been on this sub for about two years, Iāve always just lurked (besides one post on another account) but I decided to start posting here for real now.
Iām from the Netherlands and Iāve been struggling with restrict & binge cycles for about 2 years now, and this is subreddit is the only thing that makes it a bit less horrible.
Every single one of you is so supportive of each other, itās truly amazing.
Anyway; I love lettuce & I sadly also love bread a lot.
But ok the announcement!!
I was gonna binge on ice cream ( and a LOT more) after a 36 hour fast, but I only had two bites and then I just put it back in the fridge, I may have broken my fast, but at least I didnāt binge on 3000 calories like I thought I would end up doing.
A very small victory
ED Runs in my Family?
/u/Sharkiiie [5'9"| CW: 166lbs | 24.07 | WL: 25lbs| F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 19:07:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83jupu/ed_runs_in_my_family/
---
My younger sister (13 years old) is staying with me for March break while my parents are on vacation. It's clear to me that she has an ED even if she doesn't realize it. I was the same way when I was younger, not really recognizing my problem. I was sitting there, coaxing her to eat some dinner (while simultaneously NOT eating, hypocrite) when it occurred to me my mom had an ED when she was younger too.
How are we all so messed up??
[Rant/Rave] I Hate Working in a Restaurant
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Sat Mar 10 19:05:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83ju7p/i_hate_working_in_a_restaurant/
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I work in a Kurdish restaurant. I hostess, bartend, and clear off tables. I HATE being around food all day long. I hate watching people eat when I'm standing at the host desk. I hate being around food. The food here is good, and I love the people I work with. I've been here almost a year. But these people have no idea that I have an ED. I get so anxious every night because at the end of my shift, the cooks make everyone food and we sort of sit down together and eat. I can't do this. I end up discreetly throwing my food away, putting it in a box to "take home for later" (even though I throw it away anyway), or fake being sick or say I'm not hungry. My co-workers always look at me like I'm crazy if I don't eat. This gives me so much anxiety and everything is spiraling out of control. I hate my brain.
[Tip] YOU CAN COUNT DOWN ON VORA APP NOW. JUST CLICK ON THE TIMER!
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Sat Mar 10 18:37:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83joj3/you_can_count_down_on_vora_app_now_just_click_on/
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I don't know if this was a thing before and I am just that dumb to realize it today, but this is great. I am going to have so much fun fasting now! Time will pass, so I might as well meet my goals.
[Other] A week living alone starts tomorrow. I can't trust myself.
/u/allthe_badthings [5'2''| F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 18:30:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83jn5f/a_week_living_alone_starts_tomorrow_i_cant_trust/
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My SO will be taking a work trip next week. We live together and she is both a help and hurt to my ED.
When she's at work and I'm home, I am either binging or thinking about binging, but when she's around, I am able to control the urges more. Plus the "You're eating that too?" every other day is a good reality check when I am reaching for something else from the fridge.
I don't want this week to be a week-long binge. I really want to continue the good habits I've put in place like IF and eating slowly. It's helped me drop my BMI from 24 to 22...but when I'm alone it all goes to shit and my brain just attacks food and I'm kind of disconnected from reality.
What can I do to trust myself this week? what about being alone makes me lose control in such a catastrophic way?
[Discussion] DAE experience dizzy spells during bulimia recovery?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 10 18:00:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83jgo4/dae_experience_dizzy_spells_during_bulimia/
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[deleted]
[Other] Just shaved my head, and I honestly feel more powerful/ sexy than I have in a long time
/u/blood-n-caffiene
Created: Sat Mar 10 17:49:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83jejl/just_shaved_my_head_and_i_honestly_feel_more/
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My cheekbones are poppin, my face looks super angular š I looove having no hair! Iām kinda bummed no one at work has had a visceral reaction to me being bald:/
[Rant/Rave] Sexy
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: 99 | GW:88 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 17:37:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83jbzr/sexy/
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Guys will say that curves are sexy. Big boobs, big ass and hips to grab onto... A healthy, child-bearing woman.
I disagree. Ain't nothing sexier than a bony frame, a gaunt serious look on a face, pastel toned skin, sharp features, high cheekbones, something so pure --- and infertile. Someone you don't mess around with. Someone so unapologenic for looking the way they desire. I don't care what you think of me. Go chase your so called "real women", I don't do this to make your dick hard. I'm a woman, real indeed.
And I am much more than an object made to please you and reproduce your idiot children. I decide my career. I can work, I can create, I can conquer. Also, I can count. I count calories so that I'm always one step away from that picture you made of me in your head. I'm in control now!
And not only you. It's been like that for centuries. Women in some countries have to wear a bunch of black sheets in the hottest weather just because you thought their body is unacceptable. Well that's cool. Next time please don't act suprised when you see me faint in the middle of the street and risk my life just like I did several years ago because I don't wanna wear an ugly black sheet after I have nothing "offensive" to cover.
What's the problem? I don't look like a woman anymore? I don't look sexy anymore? Tragic. Well that was exactly my goal.
(I wrote this in like 2AM, so please excuse me if this rant doesn't make any sense)
[Other] I love her. She left me. I think I now know why...
/u/DoMyBest12
Created: Sat Mar 10 17:28:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83j9yw/i_love_her_she_left_me_i_think_i_now_know_why/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Some things I'm doing
/u/fabluous
Created: Sat Mar 10 17:26:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83j9o9/some_things_im_doing/
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* Taped front and back camera on my phone
* Uninstalled my bedroom mirror
* Keep eyes closed when showering
* Never look down, always look forward
* No more lookinng at people's legs
* I already don't have social media and don't watch any media often, but I figured it's worth mentioning because of how impactful media is in general and a lot of people here have social media and watch lots of TV and stuff. It will make more of a difference than you think to remove yourself from it
Sure we have all these rules and rituals pertaining to our eating disorders, but they're all dentrimental. If we can have such discipline in this regards, why can't we apply it in a way that's beneficial.
I have one friend who also has BD issues, and when I told her about my ideas she scoffed and remarked that I'd still see myself in reflections and stuff, but she's missing the point.
With these ideas, I'm not suggesting recovery. You can balance these ideas and your eating disorder simultaneously.
That's my proposition and I guess I want to hear some thoughts and if anyone wants to join me on this
[Rant/Rave] Giving Myself Until 9pm Today To Eat All I Want
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Sat Mar 10 17:20:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83j8am/giving_myself_until_9pm_today_to_eat_all_i_want/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Being open about my ed and feeling guilty
/u/falafelwafflerofl
Created: Sat Mar 10 17:15:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83j70p/being_open_about_my_ed_and_feeling_guilty/
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I just binged and purged ice cream, cookies and mini cakes. I wasn't even fucking hungry when I did it. I was just sad after a conversation I had with someone. I've opened up and have been candid about my ED with them. I'm honestly not sure what I expected them to say when I told them I bought bad shit at the grocery store. I got it so I had it in case I felt a b/p session coming. In hindsight, I probably should've just not told them. I don't know what in my stupid brain thought that what I did was normal. I didn't even b/p until I knew they were upset with me for buying it. Did I subconsciously want them mad at me so I would do this? I don't even know. Now I'm avoiding them because I'm ashamed and feel guilty. The shit thing is, they're the only person I really talk to. I feel awful about the whole thing, but god damn it, do I feel really relaxed after purging. I think I'm going crazy you guys.
Is anyone else totally open about their ED with anyone? And have you ever used that as opportunity to trigger your habits?
[Help] Dying
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 10 17:08:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83j5ki/dying/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone *like* feeling "smug"?
/u/flndmn
Created: Sat Mar 10 16:34:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83ixv2/does_anyone_like_feeling_smug/
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I don't think I have an eating disorder but like a lot of women in the world I think I have"issues" with food lol. I eat and starve my emotions depending on how the mood takes me. Definitely more eating than starving. I'm overweight.
I got my wisdom teeth out Tuesday. I'm at my fiance's parents' house right now. They're all eating a dinner I can't eat. And on the one hand I'm furious that I can't eat it because it smells amazing but on the other hand I'm sitting here feeling like I'm better than they are.
The fucked up part of this is that the person I'm feeling most superior over is my fiance's 5 YEAR OLD. She's such a freaking picky eater and EVERY TIME anyone puts a single thing in their mouths around here she says "I'm not eating that" and I'm constantly thinking "I wouldn't offer you any anyway!" And I'm 30 next month lol. And tonight is no exception. But as she's chewing on her plain noodles with salt I'm thinking "hey miss picky eater, you're eating and I'm not!" Because I'm crazy and a horrible person lol. Please say someone around here gets it?! Haha
Bonus issue is feeling superior to my fiance who is thinner than me and can eat whatever the fuck he wants because he's tall and muscular. He gets so frustrated when I don't eat like I'm one of his kids and I love it!
[Other] Abzurdah (2015) - ED movie in Spanish
/u/Ender_Targaryen [5'5.5" | CW 131.4 | BMI 21.5 | -28 | 30F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 15:52:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83iof0/abzurdah_2015_ed_movie_in_spanish/
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I donāt know if anyone has posted about this movie before - I couldnāt find anything on search - but this movie is on US Netflix right now. I just watched it (it has English subtitles available) and while it starts as a love scorned narrative it sharply veers into ED territory.
It was interesting to see a foreign film cover this - it is more graphic than US Lifetime movies, so trigger warnings for EDs and self injury - but I thought Iād let you guys know about it!
If anyone else has seen it, what were your thoughts?? It was certainly flawed but I liked the emotional rawness.
[Help] Why do I feel more insecure than ever after someone commented on my weight loss? Ugh
/u/deadlylikesugar
Created: Sat Mar 10 15:42:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83im2g/why_do_i_feel_more_insecure_than_ever_after/
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Title basically says it all. Conversation was something like:
**Them**: Wow, youāve really lost weight.
**Me** (awkwardly not knowing what to say): Haha oh. Really? Thanks.
**Them**: Yeah, yeah. You look good but yeah. Like. Donāt lose any more. Ha ha
I *know* they werenāt trying to be mean or rude or anything. And I have literally wanted this moment for such a long time. So.....why the fuck do I currently feel like Iām on the verge of a panic/anxiety attack?? I feel just as insecure and want to hide just as badly as if they wouldāve called me fat, or mentioned something about me *gaining* weight.
Iām just feeling in such a, like, emotionally fragile (lol I feel so dumb saying that about myself) state rn and the confusion about why I feel this way isnāt helping.
Pls halp š¢
[Tip] PSA: These babies have 25 cals per TWO tbsps. And theyāre good!
/u/blerg1234567
Created: Sat Mar 10 15:17:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83igic/psa_these_babies_have_25_cals_per_two_tbsps_and/
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https://i.redd.it/z9f1zylkg0l01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm drunk. And I have a mental block against eating right now and I'm so damn glad.
/u/unepetite [5'9" | 154 lbs | BMI 22.7 | 33 lbs lost | F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 15:09:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83iejm/im_drunk_and_i_have_a_mental_block_against_eating/
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For some reason it seems okay to just be drunk and have consumed my calories from alcohol...like I'll take 400 calories from hard cider and then be able to not eat because for some reason I'm finally tapping into my restriction again. It's amazing. I'm seeing a nutritionist to try to get over all this shit but fuck ittttt. I feel so much better having control over my body/intake again. I honestly want to just tell her I'm done with seeing her because recovering is so damn stressful and I'd way rather have all my rules and shit than have to deal with even MORE stress from trying to recover. Like, I have enough crap in my life right now, I can't deal with having all my weird eating tendencies being taken away. My boyfriend tried to make me eat a single chip today and I threw it out the window. I feel so free and clean. I love it.
[Goal] When I hit my goal weight:
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Sat Mar 10 14:35:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83i6qc/when_i_hit_my_goal_weight/
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[removed]
[Other] tall girls with ana
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 10 14:34:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83i6hp/tall_girls_with_ana/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83i6hp/tall_girls_with_ana/
[Rant/Rave] Struggling with rejection
/u/Sb22312
Created: Sat Mar 10 14:27:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83i4zl/struggling_with_rejection/
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I got rejected from a summer placement that was literally perfect . All there reasoning made sense and they said I should apply for a job or a year placement. But I still feel crushed . My dad and I had thought about it he thinks I'm wasting money at uni and should just get a job working retail . We fought for an hour about the contract length of my house share and the price . I've been struggling so much recently and everyday feels like an uphill battle . I don't even have the energy to binge anymore nothing seems appealing . I'm like some ice cream would be nice then I'm like your fat and worthless and you don't deserve happiness .
[Help] EC Stacking + Antidepressants?
/u/BananaMiruku
Created: Sat Mar 10 14:24:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83i42k/ec_stacking_antidepressants/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I am a trashcan
/u/pragmaticgirl [169cm | CW: 89kg | 15kg lost, i will lose more]
Created: Sat Mar 10 14:22:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83i3n7/i_am_a_trashcan/
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https://ibb.co/iXSMtS
My father brought 10 kg clementines and expects me to eat it within one or two weeks. "they're the last this year and you like fruits, don't you?" and he gets upset if I throw it away.
Btw I hate fruits. Since I was a child. I liked melons. I hate them now. Why? Because when there are leftover melons he brings them home. How can he believe that I can eat 4 melons by myself within a few days, because they're too ripe? Wtf man. I was born fat, I was raised with too much food, and now I am grown up and he isn't listening at all.
Am I a trashcan, why do I have to eat the shit that stays behind because nobody wants it anymore
[Help] My mother bought up my ED
/u/uforgan
Created: Sat Mar 10 13:42:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83hu9u/my_mother_bought_up_my_ed/
---
Last night my mother and a few of her friends came over. They were all shit faced - it was Friday night and they work hard jobs. She sat on my bed and said she was aware of my ED. She has said this every other year for the past 6 years but this time I was shaken. My purging has become daily/every time I eat and I feared she knew.
This morning I asked if she could remember our talk, she said no and asked what is was about. I lied and said it was a sex talk. She left.
Since then I haven't purged. I'm worried that she still knows my ED is active. I shouldn't be, as it makes no difference and I'm moving away soon, but I'm still hyper cautious.
I don't know how to handle this. I'm recovering but I still have a few disordered habits that I'm terrified she will prevent (binging, purging, etc)
[Rant/Rave] DGAF about being toned
/u/twinklesprinklelady
Created: Sat Mar 10 13:29:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83hr9o/dgaf_about_being_toned/
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It seems like right now the ideal body is perfectly toned, with a flat stomach, and an insane booty. But does anyone else just like not care? Yeah maybe it would be nice to be an Instagram model type but I'd rather just be small. I much prefer the 90's ideal female body (think any actress on Friends) than the current ideal.
I always see advice about not losing too quickly because you'll lose your muscles. Females in particular seem to be warned about losing their butt. But I just don't care about my muscles anymore. I'd rather get as tiny as possible, as quickly as possible. Anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] I intentionally make myself as ugly and unlovable as possible.
/u/FromMyIvoryTower [5'3 | CW: 100 | BMI: 20.2 | GW: 80 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 13:18:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83hosn/i_intentionally_make_myself_as_ugly_and_unlovable/
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I donāt want to be perceived sexually because itās degrading, but I also scoff at the idea of anyone finding me remotely attractive if I did try. Iām tempted to buzz off my hair just to complete the malnourished soldier look, but Iām too agitated to tolerate the aftermath of my family screaming as if my body is public property. I want to disgust people but I also desperately want to be loved. I want to be alone to savor my own company for a year and then emerge as an unrecognizable agamic superhuman that awes everyone with its presence. Although I want to be above everyone else, I also want to be so fragile that someone will stop and notice that Iām in pain and deign to fix me, even though I know it isnāt that simple. This Thursday I mustered up the energy and courage to mingle with some people in my last class. I cracked some sadistic jokes that I didnāt think were funny and said some pithy pretentious crap. They seemed enthused. I even laughed for the first time in a while. It felt hollow. Iām never going to connect with anyone as the person I am. Nothing is ever going to mean something. Can I just shed my skin and be somebody else?
[Other] Bulimia youtuber Boo
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW 153.8lb | 20.4 | -22.2 | GW 140]
Created: Sat Mar 10 13:15:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83hnxn/bulimia_youtuber_boo/
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If you guys don't know about her she's a Canadian girl that posted all of these really relatable videos about EDs. She was just a source of solidarity and was very kind to all her viewers but her channel got banned "for violating community guidelines" :( honestly makes me furious; there are so many youtubers who are 1000% more triggering or terrible people unlike her.
Anybody know anything about maybe a new channel or something? I miss her already.
[Tip] How I hide my safe foods from my family
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Sat Mar 10 13:15:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83hnwr/how_i_hide_my_safe_foods_from_my_family/
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https://i.redd.it/4d5itf8quzk01.jpg
[Other] why would you change the calories
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 13:11:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83hn24/why_would_you_change_the_calories/
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https://i.redd.it/jd1i0kr1uzk01.png
[Rant/Rave] An ex friend of mine has an eating disorder..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 10 12:57:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83hjsi/an_ex_friend_of_mine_has_an_eating_disorder/
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[deleted]
" I cannot lose weight"
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Sat Mar 10 12:57:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83hjqx/i_cannot_lose_weight/
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[removed]
[Help] [Starbucks Help] Adding coconut milk to a tall iced unsweetened green tea calories?
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Sat Mar 10 12:35:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83hek4/starbucks_help_adding_coconut_milk_to_a_tall_iced/
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Did some research on their website but I can't figure out how much they "add" if you ask them to put it in there for you! Would love some help! I'm afraid to order it but I really want to because it sounds great and I'm finally allowed to have caffeine again (docs said it's okay) would love some help! Thank you!
[Discussion] Has anyone here sustained an ideal weight for a significant period of their lives? If so, how long and what was going on in your lives?
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Sat Mar 10 12:01:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83h68r/has_anyone_here_sustained_an_ideal_weight_for_a/
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Also, how did you fall off the wagon after thst period? (assuming you have since you are lurking this sub)
[Help] Help! I haven't had a bowel movement in several days and laxatives aren't working!
/u/hypothermia_veins
Created: Sat Mar 10 11:34:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83gzt7/help_i_havent_had_a_bowel_movement_in_several/
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I weigh every week and I noticed I maintained even though my body is a bit smaller. I was confused until I realized I haven't had a bowel movement in several days and I took laxatives a couple days ago and they haven't done anything! What do I do?
[Other] I had a lecture on eating disorders and it was awful
/u/DonDrapersAlcoholism [5'6'' | 105 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 11:31:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83gz2p/i_had_a_lecture_on_eating_disorders_and_it_was/
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I'm a medical student. It was on the schedule. And against my better judgement, I decided to go.
I can't say exactly what I was expecting, but the worst I imagined was that miniscule thrill of recognition you get when your name is read aloud in a maths problem in school. Like a tiny "that's me!", before it's business as usual again.
But it was so much more horrible than that. There were no slides, no pictures, nothing like that. Just a psychiatrist, talking through the facts.
20% mortality. Tearing your own oesophagus from vomiting. Your bones corroding inside you. 11 year-olds with their teeth worn away from stomach acid.
But it was the stories that got me - the lecturer shared anecdotes of women (we mostly discussed women) she'd met and treated, who were lovely and whip-smart and very unwell - and almost every single one of them ended with "she died later that year", or "sadly, she never recovered and passed away 10 years ago".
I ended up skipping most of the next lecture to cry as quietly as possible in the bathroom, and I couldn't quite put my finger on why - but I really, really think it might be because I listened to those stories and I knew "I'm never going to be "good enough" at doing this to get as far as those women did". And I despise myself for thinking that.
[Help] my two roommates both have EDs and Iām ~recovering~, fat, and wanting to lose weight
/u/please1996
Created: Sat Mar 10 11:18:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83gvri/my_two_roommates_both_have_eds_and_im_recovering/
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I feel so fat. Theyāre both skinnier than me. Iām eating less and going to the gym and running and doing weights and I swear itās just making me fatter and now I have two people to accompany me at my every meal who notice if I donāt eat a lot.
Last night I had a good day and then we all went out for supper and they complained I didnāt eat enough and im so frustrated!! Of course not! I need to lose weight! I ate more to satisfy them but then I needed to go to the gym to burn it off in a snowstorm.
Neither of them really know :( I donāt want to be harmful to them but I feel disgusting man
Not eating enough and having low blood sugar makes my anxiety and panic attacks worse but eating enough and feeling like Iām losing the only control in my life makes me anxiety worse
/u/alyssa1975
Created: Sat Mar 10 11:12:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83guhx/not_eating_enough_and_having_low_blood_sugar/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Are the scales at doctorsā offices always accurate?
/u/lyhndzie [5'5" | CW: 137.4lbs | BMI: 22.8 | -22 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 09:08:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83g0p0/are_the_scales_at_doctors_offices_always_accurate/
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So I went to the doctor the other day for back pain. The first thing they had me do was step on the scale. (Insert panic attack here.) I was fully clothed, still had my shoes on, and my phone was in my pocket. So obviously I was going to weigh more than I typically do at home when Iām freshly woken up, naked, with no food or drink in me.
I stepped on the scale, and it read 142lbs!!! š«š«š« Iām used to hovering around the 130lbs range, so a 12 POUND DIFFERENCE was horrifying. Obviously itās the extra weight added by what I was wearing, right??
I got home and immediately stepped on all my scales (I have multiple types because I canāt trust just one) wearing exactly what I did at the doctorās office, not changing anything, and they were all the same, reading 137lbs. Are all my scales off by 5 pounds? I have tested them all with different weighted dumbbells, cleaned them, and changed their batteries, and they all seemed accurate but now I have no idea what to believe.
I want to tell myself that the scale at the doctors was wrong, but it just doesnāt seem likely? IDK. Why must my whole identity revolve around a number??? Ugh. What do you guys think?
[Other] Sometimes I love German accuracy
/u/honeydewlittle
Created: Sat Mar 10 08:56:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83fxy2/sometimes_i_love_german_accuracy/
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https://i.imgur.com/bFyGemW.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Shamed For Wasting Food
/u/fatyoyo
Created: Sat Mar 10 08:13:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83fp1f/shamed_for_wasting_food/
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I live part time with my boyfriend (because I started remodeling my house and ran out of money so itās a disaster but thatās a whole other story). I buy nearly all the groceries for the house. My problem is that I buy WAY too much food than we can eat before it goes bad. And itās because when I do the grocery shopping I have to buy every food that catches my eye. Like today cleaning out the fridge and there was a pack of low calorie chicken meatballs that was unopened and expired, a bag of shredded fat free mozzarella that was molding, a bag of Tumaroās wraps way past the expiration date, cooked diced chicken that I prepped but never ate, a brown wilted bag of iceberg lettuce, an expired pint of unopened skim milk. All into the trash. This is every week with different things. Last week I decided Iād try a local meal prep service that focuses on weight loss so I ordered 6 meals (3 for me and 3 for my boyfriend) but then I got anxious about not knowing exactly what was in them or how accurately they were measured so I didnāt eat mine and threw them out. In addition to my āregularā groceries for the week. My boyfriend is getting really upset with me for the amount of food we waste and how much money it costs, which I think is understandable. But I do it EVERY WEEK. Part of it is that having these foods in the house makes me feel comfortable. Just buying and having them makes me feel good. Like, I know theyāre there if I need them. And part of it is that every weekend I tell myself Iām going to eat at least a small dinner every day so I meal prep and shop for it but then it never happens because I need my dinner calories for alcohol. But I need to buy the food just in case. I also have a freezer full of āsafeā foods that mostly goes untouched (including like 5 pints of Halo Top thatās older than I can remember). I donāt like wasting food and Iām tired of fighting with my boyfriend about it but I donāt know how to stop.
[Rant/Rave] In the movies when they purge and look so glam. Not all movies, but I am sure you know them.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sat Mar 10 08:03:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83fmv7/in_the_movies_when_they_purge_and_look_so_glam/
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Generic Movie Mentality of Bulimia as a joke or beauty thing:
"Oops I ate.....ensue leaving to go to the restroom, purges in immaculate time, then simply pats their mouth with a tissue." lolol
Purged last night after a decent binge, it was, ya know, purging in all is glamour. Of course as I am falling asleep after my purge induced coma I was just thinking and laughing about this with my chipmunk cheeks.
[Discussion] March 10th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 07:40:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83fi53/march_10th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What was the last movie you rented?
(When the fuck was this book written?). I guess WALL-E
[Goal] I'm feeling so great... haven't eaten since Thursday at 8 pm ( only black coffee, hot water, hot tea(no sweeteners)... I'm like so with it going to try to keep it up until Monday! And I ran two miles last night :-)
/u/Themermaidmomma
Created: Sat Mar 10 07:36:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83fhey/im_feeling_so_great_havent_eaten_since_thursday/
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[removed]
[Help] Best dairy free halo top?
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Sat Mar 10 06:27:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83f52z/best_dairy_free_halo_top/
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Giving up dairy bc it makes me feel like shit and I also want to eventually be vegan but halo top is my jam. Tried vanilla maple and for the first time in my life couldnāt finish a whole pint.. lol.
Are any flavors better?
Treating myself after my fast and work today
[Help] ...are things like this legit??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 10 05:13:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83etfp/are_things_like_this_legit/
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https://www.i-supplements.com/p/lipodrene-100ct-ephedra-diet-pill/
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! March 10, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 10 05:11:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83et3e/stupid_questions_saturday_march_10_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for March 10, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 10, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 10 05:10:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83esyc/daily_food_diary_march_10_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 10, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] just a whiny rant because im constantly whiny (:
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Sat Mar 10 03:23:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83eemg/just_a_whiny_rant_because_im_constantly_whiny/
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have you guys ever tried to be more self confident and tried to get out of your comfort zone only to realize how gross you truly are and never want to ever come out of your shell again? yup thats me
let us uglies unite
[Rant/Rave] Grocery shopping anxiety
/u/Roseemacculate02
Created: Sat Mar 10 01:48:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83e2fn/grocery_shopping_anxiety/
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Whenever I go shopping for food I feel like everyone is judging me. My basket full of low cal, obviously Ed food. I feel like everyone knows exactly what I am doing, like "why does this girl who is smaller need these low cal foods? Must have an Ed" even though I know they probably don't think that it just feels very obvious to me. Also I had to legit leave my groceries in my car cause my mom was home and last time I brought food home she was like what did u get and was looking through all of it, I was freaking out! Part of me wants her to know but I know it would be so much harder if she did for me to continue my eating habits. Ugh, thanks for listening whoever reads this, just needed to get my anxieties off my chest :/
[Rant/Rave] the little things trigger it so hard
/u/waitupana [15M | 147cm (4'10)]
Created: Sat Mar 10 01:43:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83e1ub/the_little_things_trigger_it_so_hard/
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sometimes its the little things
i didnt use capital letters on my post in r/sydney, and got a comment on it and now i feel worthless
how tf does my brain do that
i hadnt visited r/suicidewatch for 2 years but nope
hadnt restricted for a month but nope
[Rant/Rave] After a day of eating well, binging til my stomach hurts
/u/bomb_dot_calm [5'3" | CW:145lbs | 25.7 | HW: 145 LW: 119.8 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 01:33:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83e0k1/after_a_day_of_eating_well_binging_til_my_stomach/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Iām afraid heāll think Iām too fat
/u/commtra [5'7 | BMI: 20 | GW:100 | -44 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 10 01:22:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83dz3l/im_afraid_hell_think_im_too_fat/
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So Iāve been talking to someone online which is totally out of the ordinary for me, but I really like him.
I want to meet him and he wants to meet me, but that day scares me so much because I feel so fat. My weight doesnāt go to my boobs or butt and I have literally no curves. My body is just straight with blobby legs and a blobby stomach.
I donāt know what to do, I lowkey want to warn him that going out with me is embarrassing but I also know it could be perceived as me seeking for attention and compliments. So these past three days Iāve just been crying and ignoring a person I really want to get to know.
[Rant/Rave] I. Can't. Stop. Eating.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 10 00:48:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83dudg/i_cant_stop_eating/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83dudg/i_cant_stop_eating/
[Rant/Rave] Was it because I'm fat? KIND OF LONG SORRY
/u/frida569 [163 cm | 74 kg | 15 kg | female]
Created: Sat Mar 10 00:16:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83dpzy/was_it_because_im_fat_kind_of_long_sorry/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Binging for weeks?
/u/finnkat
Created: Sat Mar 10 00:13:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83dpk7/binging_for_weeks/
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I've been binging for almost 2 weeks now and I'm so sick of it. I keep switching between 'it'll just have to run it's course so I shouldn't fight it too much' and 'it's never going to stop unless I actively stop it' but neither seem to be working. I tried doing what I do when I restrict, which is eat nothing until dinnertime, then spreading my calories out until bedtime but I just end up binging. I've tried spacing everything out troughout the entire day but I still end up eating myself sick on carbs, hostess snack cakes, and quest bars (so many questbars) and I'm sick of it. I've tried keeping junk food out of my house and but I'm currently eating garbage that expired last summer that I found at the back of my cupboard and it tastes like shit but I can't stop. I don't really know what to do, honestly I'm pretty much just ready to die
[Rant/Rave] my crush rejected me last night and i lashed out at my friends because of it so bye bye recovery
/u/booger-burger69 [5'3 | CW: 117lbs | UGW 100lbs | -18lbs | 21F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 23:50:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83dlwd/my_crush_rejected_me_last_night_and_i_lashed_out/
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Last night I was drinking and hanging out with my two closest girlfriends and they encouraged me to invite over my friend that I had a crush on. He came over with his roommate and we all had fun playing games and drinking. He left and my friends were all āheās soooo into you!ā. He then texted me asking how I felt about him, so I felt confident enough to be honest and tell him I was into him. He then proceeded to āfriendzoneā me and explain that he just sees me as a friend and wants nothing more. I had to sit there and tell my friends that no, he doesnāt share the same feelings and it was just humiliating. Then they tried to say stuff like āwell maybe he does like you he just doesnāt know exactly what he wantsā and I kinda snapped at them and told them to stop talking about it through my heavy sobs. Then I just drove home because I couldnāt stop crying. They were texting in the group chat this morning about how one of them is already dating a new guy after just ending things with her ex, and this just really twisted the knife in my wound so I let them know I was going go āMIAā for a few days and take some time to myself before turning off alerts for both of them.
I love my friends so much, but when Iām feeling insecure or when Iām going through a restricting/chewing+spitting phase I canāt stand to be around them. They donāt do anything wrong, Iām just insanely jealous of them. Both of them are super tall and thin and have tiny boobs while Iām short and wider and have huge boobs. They both have guys drooling over them left and right, when we go out together I get completely ignored by guys. They can wear zero makeup and look flawless while I look like a splotchy, pale monster without makeup on. And I donāt want to ever lash out at them because of these feelings of jealousy, so I turn that anger inwards and restrict/chew+spit/do other self harm behaviors.
I feel so bad for feeling any kind of negative feelings towards them that I want to hurt myself more. Like how dare I feel this way towards two women who have only ever loved and cared about me? And I hate that I have to ignore them and give myself some space but I feel like if I donāt then I wonāt be able to get over it and Iāll lash out at them.
Basically everything that happened last night makes me never want to eat again, I donāt deserve it. Iām a horrible friend and a worthless ugly monster who will never be accepted so why care about myself??
[Tip] How to survive a theme park
/u/Gh0sty3
Created: Fri Mar 9 23:48:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83dlnu/how_to_survive_a_theme_park/
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[removed]
[Help] :'(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 9 23:18:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83dgwd/_/
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[deleted]
[Help] Help me break my binge cycle!!
/u/lostgirl217
Created: Fri Mar 9 23:09:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83dfdx/help_me_break_my_binge_cycle/
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[removed]
[Help] A serious question???
/u/AutomaticPersimmon
Created: Fri Mar 9 23:01:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83de15/a_serious_question/
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[removed]
[Other] GUYS I HAVE AN IDEA !!!
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80lbs | 15.1 | -23lbs | f]
Created: Fri Mar 9 22:56:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83dd8f/guys_i_have_an_idea/
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Bear with me my dears, though i come to you as a humble rambling drunk in the midst of a manic episode but I HAVE GOT AN IDEA
What if we made a database of SAFE doctors!?!?
We could categorize it by city, or general area, specialty, etc.
There are way way way WAY too many hurdles between individuals suffering from eating disorders and the healthcare we need in order to live the best lives we can whilst afflicted in this way.
We deserve care without the fear of being brushed off, or committed, or otherwise harmed, degraded, or mistreated. We deserve access to therapists, to general practitioners, to psychiatrists, to nutritionist, to whatever the hell we need, but professionals willing to work with ED patients are few and far between, and GOOD professionals willing to work ED patients are Blue-Moon type creates.
So, if y'all have anyone, we gotta help each out yeah?
Huzzah!
(i have no idea who i really ought to pitch this to nor what to flake this but cheers to hoping it sticks!)
EDIT: let's add treatment centers too!!! far too often experiences meant to be healing turn out to be hellish instead. we ought to be educated on where we'll be comfortable and respected
[Discussion] Who else allows themselves to eat a little more when they're PMSing?
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | went to treatment | send help | 24F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 22:51:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83dcjd/who_else_allows_themselves_to_eat_a_little_more/
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So usually when I'm sedentary I don't allow myself more than 300 calories for the day. When I'm active, I allow myself up to 500 calories a day.
When I'm PMS-ing (as I am right now) I get so ravenous. So this time around I'm going to see how I feel by adding an extra 200 cal per day when I'm going through that ravenous caused by PMS. So 500 max on sedentary days and 700 max on active days. So far, it's helping a lot. I don't crave sweets or particular foods like that when I'm PMSing but I'm just hungrier and adding the extra calories helps keep my hunger at bay.
Who else does something similar?
[Rant/Rave] I ate 1,400 calories today and I want to die
/u/grossierus [5'6" | 120 | 19.4 | -120 | F23]
Created: Fri Mar 9 22:44:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83dbfv/i_ate_1400_calories_today_and_i_want_to_die/
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I work out every day consistently but if I either eat the same amount of workout calories I burn/eat over 1,000 calories I feel like all my work was for nothing. According to my TDEE for yesterday (2,570) and LoseIt! I've been in the negative net calorie range for an entire week but I don't fucking know why I still feel disgusting. I stuck to my plan all day but got high at like 9:30 and had a slice of vegan pizza and I literally feel the grease making my thighs and stomach stretch and thicken.
Are net calories a fucking myth and should I just eat 200kcal protein bars for every meal???? and never eat other people's food??????
[Rant/Rave] can't afford to binge...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Mar 9 22:41:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83dayb/cant_afford_to_binge/
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on mobile flair as rant/rave.
I broke a fast at work because I was really stressed and upset about last night and felt like a zombie so I just ate and I stopped before it go too bad but still added up to about 1400 calories which is a lot considering I was fasting and restricting to 500. I am at a new lw. and I knew that I I fasted the rest of the day and restricted it would even itself out.
I got really stressed after my binge so I took like 4 laxatives (at work knowing they could make my shift more...shitty..) and just about to leave work my stomach starts playing the song of it's people.
I made it home safely and now I just want to finish the binge. I feel like it wasn't a real binge it was maintainence except the fact that today was pretty physically demanding according to my step count. if I don't eat anything else It is below my TDEE and I'll hold on to food wait. if I eat more it's going to make my stomach hurt and I'll want to purge or tax more lax.
my bank account is also really low and I have racked up a lot of credit card debt with impulsive spending. I went out and drank for six days in a row spending about 50 bucks a night which is a lot for me. in addition to other habits in my spending. I can't charge any food to my account until I get paid on the 20th. over a week away..
I have to keep myself in check before i drive myself further into debt.
[Discussion] Do you ever just binge not as self harm but as a reward and then move on?
/u/Bloppitt [5'2 | 131 | -42 lbs | 23F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 22:36:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83da6d/do_you_ever_just_binge_not_as_self_harm_but_as_a/
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I have mild BED and am in therapy for it. Today I got in a car accident AND got glass in my eye (separate problems) and when I got home I just said "I am going to eat the whole bag of Skinny Pop because it fits within my TDEE today so fuck it." I don't even feel bad. Yeah I missed ONE day of progress but today was so bad and no matter how many people I talked to, no matter what I did to distract myself, at 9 pm I still wanted to binge. But it wasn't a binge that made me wanna kill myself, it was just... nice.
Edit: it put me 300 cals over my TDEE actually but nothing insane
[Rant/Rave] I cried for over an hour because I couldn't find my favorite flavor of Halo Top
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: whale | 22F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 22:23:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83d7vz/i_cried_for_over_an_hour_because_i_couldnt_find/
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God, I am so pathetic.
I was hanging out with my boyfriend and we went grocery shopping for him. The one thing I was going to get myself (and had wanted for the entire week) was a pint of Cookies and Cream Halo Top. I'd eaten under 200 calories the rest of the day just so I could fit in the 340 from the ice cream. I wanted to seem at least semi-functional in front of my boyfriend while we had dinner together (something that we both like to do together).
We went to two different stores, but neither of them had it in stock. I started getting weepy and frustrated while we were checking out and then full on crying while we drove back to his place. Which turned into, like, a four hour bawling session because I'd literally only planned for Halo Top and didn't want to make/eat anything else. After the first hour of trying to cheer me up, even my boyfriend yelled at me for making such a big deal over ice cream.
He apologized later, but it really got to me. I basically ruined our date night and exposed myself as a huge, immature crybaby. The only upside is that I ended the day under 200 calories, but even that feels like a hollow victory.
[Discussion] When did you guys first feel the need to lose weight?
/u/dwaiiiii [5'3" | 118 | UGW: 95 | -7lbs | 20F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 22:09:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83d5bw/when_did_you_guys_first_feel_the_need_to_lose/
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I was always a bit chubby when I was younger and when I was in grade 2 or 3 my sister told me I should start to lose weight now or it will be harder when Iām older (I was definitely NOT unhealthy nor was I even overweight). I donāt think I took her suggestion seriously but after that, it was always stuck to the back of my head. While I was growing up she would always make comments about how fat I was or point out my ārollsā. Sometimes it would even be out of nowhere. Even at my lowest weight she would call me fat. She stopped a few years ago when I had a breakdown. Thinking back on this, I realize she was a huge factor for my disordered relationship with food and weight. This got me wondering how it started for you guys.
[Rant/Rave] I'm such a terrible person...
/u/SteleexLS
Created: Fri Mar 9 21:01:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83csyf/im_such_a_terrible_person/
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[removed]
[Help] Anyone else have an issue with sex??
/u/Peggyofthehilll [5'8"| 140 | 19% | GW:120]
Created: Fri Mar 9 20:25:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83cm1j/anyone_else_have_an_issue_with_sex/
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I just canāt seem to get into it with my fiancĆ© and itās starting to get to the point where heās complaining that I am cold/why I donāt want to. I just donāt know what I can do to get it together. I just canāt. Any tips?
[Other] Stay safe everybody
/u/Pzst
Created: Fri Mar 9 19:55:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83cg8a/stay_safe_everybody/
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https://instagram.com/p/BgFoFggBpbB/
[Rant/Rave] I can never be normal..
/u/Agent_Pup
Created: Fri Mar 9 19:43:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83cdo6/i_can_never_be_normal/
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hello everyone! Iāve been lurking here a while and decided to finally make an account to post here.. so my eating habits have been all over the place over the years I use to be pretty good at restricting to the point of eating a few crackers a day but it started to slowly progress more into binging.. when I first started binging I could just starve it off the next few days and it wouldnāt effect me and then it bounced to binging and starving in a cycle to the point of only being able to maintain my weight and now Iāve been binging for weeks and I canāt stop and Iāve put in so much weight and Iām so heavy again I got to what I was so afraid of being.. fat yet here I am shoving thousands of calories in my fat face unable to stop.. at this point I just want to go back to eating normally I donāt even care about restriction but I canāt even do that Iāve tried eating three square meals a day, eating non processed food, or distracting myself but I just canāt do it I mean I binged on CORN and then Iāll just give up and go to the store and get a ton of junk :/ it seems like I canāt feel full and stop until I eat till I canāt move.. at this point it feels like the only solution is to start purging.. Iām such a fat failure..
[Help] Does my friend suspect something?
/u/mina1200
Created: Fri Mar 9 19:42:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83cdlr/does_my_friend_suspect_something/
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Please give me your genuine opinion.
Iām 20 at uni and share a flat with around 5 friends. I never really eat (so they never see me in the kitchen, and have been hinting at never seeing me there), and I just tell them that I eat out. Itās also quite well known among us that (as a joke), I donāt really cook and Iām not very good at it.
Recently I opened up to my best friend out of them that I may have a problem Iām really struggling with but canāt come to terms with/canāt say. Canāt really remember what exactly was said because we were both quite drunk.
Today, we went to a restaurant with a group. When it was 3 of us (with another friend) he asked me, ā(my name), what do you generally eat? Because I never see you in the kitchenā. What did you eat today?ā. To which I just said āoh I do eat I just donāt like buying food for myself bc I eat ALL of it in 2 days (loaf of bread etc)ā. Our third friend laughed and said āoh yeah me too!ā.
Is he suspecting something?? Please help.
[Other] Pro ED Spotify playlist
/u/qu1et1
Created: Fri Mar 9 19:26:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83ca78/pro_ed_spotify_playlist/
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https://open.spotify.com/user/12125229064/playlist/2xso3g51W8IL7HnP7BOH8F?si=N8YM39o8SNmMD5hxybrVog
[Rant/Rave] "You've gained 10lbs. since you've been here."
/u/LynnieTheLemon [4'11" | CW: 118 | BMI: ?? | WL: -2 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 19:25:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83ca3p/youve_gained_10lbs_since_youve_been_here/
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Dear lord, he's about to catch my hands...
So my bf and me were having a fight and he just now told me that I've been eating too much and that I've gained 10lbs since I've been with him. He's also said that I'm getting a "jellyroll". So now I feel like a fat pig and so fucking disgusting that I'm restricting to just a mandarin orange and 2 liters of water for the next 2 weeks! I'm so fucking ugly and I hate myself and him and I just wanna fucking puke! But I also don't bc that wrecks your teeth apparently, and my teeth are already crooked God I'm gross!!!!
EDIT: Also going to be doing 3 hours of Tamilee Abs of Steel everyday so I look polished and not like a dirty nasty pig. I feel so petty and stupid but that's the only thing I can do to stop from throwing some hands.
[Discussion] Anti binge
/u/eighttorches
Created: Fri Mar 9 19:19:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83c8w8/anti_binge/
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What weird things have you guys tried to stop yourself from binging? I feel weird myself doing this but to stop myself i watch those videos like peta posts of why you shouldn't eat meat and animal products like how horrible and cruel it is and it kills my cravings to eat at all even if its vegan. Sorry this is dumb, but does anyone else do this lol.
Update: I did an awful thing
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | CW 120lbs (treatment rip) | GW 95lbs]
Created: Fri Mar 9 19:07:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83c6g3/update_i_did_an_awful_thing/
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I really appreciate everyone's replies to my post. I had no idea those meds were controlled like that. I love my job and the kids that I work with more than anything in the world. I hadn't used the pills, and I returned them today. I feel like shit still, but I'm glad I had people to warn me just how bad of a thing I had done. Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] Im Done Binging
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Fri Mar 9 19:07:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83c6bk/im_done_binging/
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For the past week, I've completely lost control and binged well over 3000kcal a day. I don't know what's wrong with me. But today, I snapped. I stepped on the scale and I was up six pounds. I am NOT letting myself go. I will NOT look the way I did a year ago. I WILL remain under 100lbs no matter what it takes. I am so determined right now. I've eaten about 300kcals today and it's 9pm. I'm not eating anything else today. I want to be small. I want to FEEL small. I hate the feeling of food in my stomach. I hate ME.
ED safe cookbook P.1
/u/runawaythrowaway47
Created: Fri Mar 9 19:04:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83c5u7/ed_safe_cookbook_p1/
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Hi there! I had recently been on a post and I had said that I wanted to start an ED cookbook. So, here it is. (Sorry I'm not good with introductions lol) (FYI: I made these all by myself and they are approved by me)
Icecream:
-Berries (1 cal each)
-Cashew milk -25 cals (read the label for your brand!)
-ice (optional)
-Sweetener (optional)
Freeze the berries or get frozen ones and place into blender. (I like to use 25). Pour 1 cup cashew milk or less, they just have to cover the berries. Add ice if wanted. I like to pour the sweetener in now because I like watching it dissolve! Then, blend!
Tea slushie thing???
-Tea (as much as you want)
-Ice
-Sweetener (optional)
This one is pretty self explainatory but you take the ice, pour the tea (HAS TO BE COLD!) and then blend. Keep adding ice/tea as needed until you have your desired texture.
Calorie free popsicles/icees
-Diet soda
-Fruit (optional)
Pretty self explainatory as well, you can also make these into icecubes!
Pizza
-Sandwhich thins (100 cals)
-Tomtato sauce (45 cals for 1/2 a cup) (Check your sauce!)
-Low fat cheese (depends on your brand for cals!)
Pre-heat oven to 350 before making pizza. Take a tray (one that's safe for the oven!) and line with tin foil or use 0 cal spray to make it not stick. Place sandwich thins on tray and place the sauce, and cheese and if you want other toppings, add now. Make sure you have calculated the calories correctly if counting. Place in oven and check often for your desired look.
Exotic salad
-Berries (1 cal for each)
-Romaine lettuce (10 cals for 1 leaf)
-Cherry tomatoes (3 cals each)
-any other thing you wish to add
Place all of the ingredients in a bowl and eat
Lazy chili mash
-1/2 cup black beans (100-110 cals)
-Chili powder
-cumin
-salt
-pepper
-any other seasonings you want
-cherry tomatoes (3 cals for 1) (I like using around 7-8)
-0 cal spray
-A pan that will hold all of this
Rinse and place the blacked beans into a container that will hold them until needed. Take the tomatoes and smash them in a bowl (careful, they can be messy!) and place into another container until needed. Spray pan with 0 cal spray and place beans into pan with 1-3 tablespoons of water. Make sure to not have the flame up high. Low and slow wins the race. Leave into pan for 1 minute and stir for that minute. Add your tomatoes with another 1 teaspoon of water. (Now is the time to add the rest if your ingredients if you chose to have more) Now it is time to add your seasonings. Add little by little until you have reached your desired taste. Make sure that all of it is hot. Add more water if needed to get your desired thickness. Place into bowl and if wanted, garnish. (I like to eat a rice cake with this)
Salsa n chips
-Low cal tortilla (50 cals) (CHECK THE PACKAGE!)
-1/2 cup salsa (40 cals) (check your package!)
Bake the tortilla until you have your desired color. Break into pieces and then eat with salsa!
[Rant/Rave] I carry my weight so badly.
/u/ayybih
Created: Fri Mar 9 19:00:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83c50r/i_carry_my_weight_so_badly/
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Thereās websites where you can type in your height and weight and find women (or men) with similar stats. I looked mine up and it seems like every single women with my stats carried their weight so well! Itās so devastating. I have a huge top half and tiny bottom half and I look so flabby and disgusting. Why do I have to have fat arms and huge boobs and a big spare tire belly. Why canāt I have thick thighs and and a big ass instead. Fuck you, genetics.
[Help] Kind of a stupid question..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 9 18:58:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83c4i1/kind_of_a_stupid_question/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] If binges tend to take place in your bedroom, does it not feel like the calming sanctuary itās supposed to be?
/u/blood-n-caffiene
Created: Fri Mar 9 18:40:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83c0n4/if_binges_tend_to_take_place_in_your_bedroom_does/
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As the title says, I generally binge in the privacy of my room, with the lights off, just the glow of my phone illuminating whatever Iām stuffing into my face that night. I have binged out in my living room before when I thought no one was home, only to have my mom get home while Iām mid-binge. Super embarrassing, to say the least, so now Iāll do that disgusting shit in my room with the door locked.
Because of how out of control I feel when Iām binging, the whole idea of my bedroom being a comforting, relaxing place is no more. Iām so disgusted and ashamed of what I did the night before, Iāll just shove the remnants of the evidence in a drawer in my nightstand. Empty Nutella jars, chip bags, diet soda bottles, these stupid little whiskey shots that are actually awful-tasting but are hella cheap and get me on a good one. Bottles of Fireball in various sizes.
The worst thing is, though, when thereās food on my bed and nightstand. Like Nutella smeared on the cord of my lamp or chip crumbs in my bed. Itās so gross. Iām so fucking gross.
I clean it up, but I know that itās still the scene of an unspeakable crime. I would love to make my room look cuter and more inviting, but I canāt stand being in there sometimes knowing that itās what Iāve dubbed āthe Binge Dungeon of Doomā, where dreams go to die and my soul-crushing depression manifests as this painful void that canāt seem to be filled, no matter how much I restrict during the day, only to royally fuck it up by shoveling garbage down my throat in a drunken haze of self-loathing.
I used to love being in my room and it once was a place of tranquility, now it makes me sad to be in there too long knowing whatās gone down in there :/
Doctors Appointment Triggers
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 9 18:28:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83by1p/doctors_appointment_triggers/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] You guys, my dad accidentally bought me baby food
/u/notsohappycarrot [5'9|CW:134|GW:120|19.3 | 19F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 18:04:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83bsn4/you_guys_my_dad_accidentally_bought_me_baby_food/
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My dad told me that he bought me a snack that he thought I'd like... it was baby food. Those little puffs that a lot of people here seem to eat lol. I can't get over it, it's like he can sense my ED.
P.S I'm totally on the baby food train now
[Help] Purging Questions...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 9 17:12:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83bglt/purging_questions/
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[deleted]
[Help] I Don't Know Who Else To Talk With
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 9 16:58:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83bdeu/i_dont_know_who_else_to_talk_with/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] What is your low calorie comfort food?
/u/gothicapples
Created: Fri Mar 9 16:19:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83b42q/what_is_your_low_calorie_comfort_food/
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When I am in need of comfort food I have a burrito bowl
The one I get is mainly just grilled chicken and lettuce
A really large bowl is 600 calories and I make it my only meal for the day
What is your comfort food?
[Rant/Rave] Managing
/u/Cockroach-Boy
Created: Fri Mar 9 14:54:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83ahqj/managing/
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So, this week due to a tight budget I decided I'm not going to buy any groceries or food. Or spend any money really, if I can help it.
I've still been eating, but it's no longer a binge/purge cycle. At least not to the extent it was. I make and package my lunches (whatever frozen veggies I can find & rice, typically). Lots of smoothies with the frozen fruit and coconut milk we've had sitting around.
And I've been managing. I binge and purge a bit at night but it's not three+ times a day anymore and today I actually put my lunch away before I was uncomfortably full and felt like I had to purge.
I'm far from recovering, but this seems like a start. And I'm saving so much money. (Ok well not really because I'm getting my oversea travel in order but still!!!)
[Discussion] I did an awful thing. What's the worst thing your eating disorder has made you do?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 9 14:36:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83acz0/i_did_an_awful_thing_whats_the_worst_thing_your/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I āpurgedā for the first time today
/u/fastestnerdalive
Created: Fri Mar 9 14:34:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83acn4/i_purged_for_the_first_time_today/
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[removed]
[Help] How Do I stop binging
/u/xox_morbid
Created: Fri Mar 9 14:18:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83a8er/how_do_i_stop_binging/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Pray for me, yāall.
/u/Rustlingjimmies87
Created: Fri Mar 9 14:17:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83a7zs/pray_for_me_yall/
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Whoo boy. I misjudged my timing and took a laxative last night, lo and behold my stomach is still rumbly with this morning. Now I am on my way to an appointment for a Brazilian wax.
LIVINā ON A PRAYER š¬
On mobile canāt flair sorryāhowever I wouldnāt be against having a poop flair.
[Other] Research: Psychology student recruiting underweight adults (18+) for a study focused on the effects of weight stigma on underweight individuals.
/u/carebear366
Created: Fri Mar 9 14:11:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83a69k/research_psychology_student_recruiting/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend said I look skinny and heās lying
/u/supemery
Created: Fri Mar 9 14:05:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83a4xe/my_boyfriend_said_i_look_skinny_and_hes_lying/
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I havenāt binged in 19 days and I have successfully been doing low restriction (less than 1000 calories) for all of those days. Iāve lost 30 pounds overall so far (not in the 19 days, since Iāve been trying not to binge and have been restricting), but Iām still obese so Iām struggling with figuring out if he was trying to say if my weight loss was noticeable or if he was just lying. Like because clearly Iām not skinny or not even normal. Iām trying to not be weird about it and be like āshut up brain he was complimenting youā but I just feel BLAHHHHHHHHH
[Discussion] Does anyone else meal prep? Let's share recipes!
/u/catsrule-humansdrool [5'5 | SW 211 | CW 184 | BMI 30.6 | 23F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 14:01:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83a3sl/does_anyone_else_meal_prep_lets_share_recipes/
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I've been meal prepping regularly for the past few weeks and it's honestly made my life so much easier. Just count all the calories one time and then split everything up. I always keep my meals below 300 cal but prefer to keep them between 250-275 each (although lower is even better). But I've been using the same 4-5 recipes for a while now and I'm getting bored. I've looked in the 1200isplenty and mealprepsunday subreddits but everything there is still too high cal for me. I need stuff that is nutritious and filling too because my work demands a lot from me physically.
One of my favorites is these [sriracha turkey meatballs](http://www.eatyourselfskinny.com/honey-sriracha-glazed-meatballs/). To keep it in my calorie limit I have four meatballs per meal, and instead of rice I serve them with roasted cauliflower and bell pepper. I also double the seasoning for the meatballs and add oregano because I hate bland food. If I'm going to be eating calories, it better be worth it.
Does anyone else have good low cal recipes they wouldn't mind sharing?
[Help] Laxative advice
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Mar 9 13:15:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/839qzx/laxative_advice/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I want to clean but I'm too tired to get up.
/u/lilialley
Created: Fri Mar 9 12:24:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/839cxl/i_want_to_clean_but_im_too_tired_to_get_up/
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My brain: If you reorganize the cupboards and vacuum, it will distract you from being hungry!!
My body: I'm not using a single calorie of what you've given me unless it's to get up for food.
Aaahhh!!
[Discussion] Has anyone tried eating the same things every day/week?
/u/es_0 [167 cm | GW: 47 kg | 20F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 12:24:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/839cpk/has_anyone_tried_eating_the_same_things_every/
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Hi /r/proED
I'm currently thinking about changing my diet and I was wondering if anyone here has tried creating a detailed plan for meals throughout the day/week and has been following that, resulting in eating the same things every day/week (i.e. eating the same things each monday, same with tuesday, and so on)?
If yes, what's your experience? Do you binge less? Do you miss foods that are not on your list? Is it easier because it's routinized? I'm curious!!
[Other] Apples + coffee might be my favorite restriction pairing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 9 12:11:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83994m/apples_coffee_might_be_my_favorite_restriction/
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https://i.redd.it/6n3o25ydesk01.jpg
I purged for the first time today
/u/freudianMishap [5'5" | 13.47 BMI| Female-ish]
Created: Fri Mar 9 12:10:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8398xp/i_purged_for_the_first_time_today/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Everything Iāve eaten so far today
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Mar 9 12:10:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8398sp/everything_ive_eaten_so_far_today/
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[removed]
Which food groups do you restrict and why?
/u/onegoalfullcontrol
Created: Fri Mar 9 12:09:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8398nj/which_food_groups_do_you_restrict_and_why/
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I'll go first. I restrict bread, because the only time I eat bread-type-grains is if I eat it with something unhealthy (ie pizza, hotdogs, pasta, etc.). I restrict dairy because it's so high calorie and incredible addictive.
I used to vegan restrict because I went though a phase where I only ate cereal with soy milk.
I'm now planning on restricting sugar because it's the devil.
HBU?
[Other] Itās a start
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Fri Mar 9 12:07:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/839841/its_a_start/
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https://i.redd.it/ij1en9yrdsk01.jpg
[Help] Beta blockers and EC stacking?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 9 11:32:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/838xvf/beta_blockers_and_ec_stacking/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The unexpected triggers of working in casting
/u/mylittlebony_ [5'3"| 110 | 19.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 11:00:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/838ohu/the_unexpected_triggers_of_working_in_casting/
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I do casting for a talent agency, and since we usually work with giant buff men I donāt find myself analyzing their sizes or comparing too much.
But today I had to run stats on a female applicant and I wanted to fucking cry. She was only an inch taller than me but weighed 10 llbs less (my gw). She wears two sizes down from me in everything. I looked like one of those fat funhouse mirror distortions next to her.
But the worst part is her face. She looks like a tiny lithe goddess and I was hit with the realization that even if I were to get down to where she is I still wouldnāt be half as beautiful and Iāve been on the verge of tears all day because of it. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT? Like I just canāt stop thinking about it.
This disease is fucking wild yo.
[Discussion] fear foods? safe foods? what are yours? mine are embarassing I feel like.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Mar 9 10:53:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/838mhy/fear_foods_safe_foods_what_are_yours_mine_are/
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on mobile flair as discussion.
I have my safe "comfort" foods which are comfortable because I know the calorie and servings to a decimal usuallg or I know they aren't binge triggers. I usually seek out fear foods when I binge because I feel like I am already forgone and I am convinced every binge will be the binge to end all binges but it's never the case. thus why i am disorder and purge.
without further ado my fear foods and my safe foods may be someone can relate. this cool be a good discussion among people and maybe some of us would feel less alone.
fear
ice cream in all forms even sometimes the low cal ones
candy more specifically chocolate
most fruits especially bananas though for some reason. included are any precut fruit that comes in a can but I find small apples and apple sauce ok.
avocado any thing it is just fat!
nuts and trail mix. I don't get the density and can literally eat a whole jar
nut spreads like nutella and peanut butter. I have tried p2b and it leaves a lot to be desired I feel like. it isn't the same. nutella is a binge food I could eat a jar with a spoon.
fast food. i usually just eat taco bell or whatever but it is always crazy amounts.
oatmeal and granola and feral anything dense that is eating with milk or toppings I don't feel full so I just keep eating them and then feel sick.
unnecessarily sugary stuff it hurts my teeth and is like crack and I can't stop eating.
bread. bread makes you fat Theraflu I avoid bread and brains in most forms.
rice. along with the grains I don't do rice because of the density and how it just seems unecessary. I could eat more tofu or veggies and less sauce instead of rice and I don't get how cultures eat rice and are just thin.
oreoa. just no. same with any kind of snack cracker the pre portioned ones are still like 200 caloriea a bag.
milk and even nondairy milks that are sweetened. dark chocolate almond milk is a binge trigger. I only ever have unsweetened almond or cashew milk.
really dense snack or protein bars. I don't really get satiety from them and so they become binge foods same with cliff bars they made us eat cliff bars in ED treatment so I avoid then and still have nightmares are a Snickers bar that I was forced to itm JUST BECAUSE IT HAS PEANUTS DOESN'T MAKE IT A GOOD SNACK!
egg yokes. if I eat eggs it's only whites because fuck yolks.
most breakfast foods. pancakes are up there I could eat a whole box of pancake mix until I want to die.
potatoes in all forms they are dense and all carbs and I am scared of carbs
most condiments outside of hot sauce and mustard. I avoid them all I especially hate mayo and ranch and most salad dressings it ruins a salad.
safe:
small pre portioned things.
snack bars under 200 cals
crackers
low cal popcorn
sugar free pudding
diet coke
black coffee
tea
snacks that are under 100 calories pretty much
most raw veggies.
apples and apple sauce
sugar free energy drinks
mints
cigarettes (they are a food right?!?)
so yeah there is my list..
w.
[Rant/Rave] Spending the day (and possibly tomorrow) bingeing and purging
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Mar 9 10:47:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/838ko3/spending_the_day_and_possibly_tomorrow_bingeing/
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And I am weirdly excited/happy about it?
Apparently I have reached a new low. B/p was only an occasional thing for me buuuuut Iāve done it twice today already. And Iām at WORK.
I spent the week pseudo recovered. I deleted the app and I ate normally and worked out and felt like a normal person and I didnāt even weigh myself!!
I have been wanting to eat healthy for a long time (I only allow myself junk food) and I have started working out so that makes me crave healthy food too. So I asked my bf if we could go on a diet on Monday and if he would cook healthy shit for us and he is down. So I guess this week I went all out eating to get it all out of my system.
So I guess Iām taking it to the max today by eating everything lol and I feel too guilty with my stomach full so I have to throw it up.
Iām telling myself that today (and maybe tomorrow) will be the last time that I do it. Iāve gained maybe 5ish lbs this month and I am excited to get back losing weight and doing it the healthy way (with some fasting). I am just getting everything out of my system- anyone wanna assure me that Iām not going to gain real weight or that Iām not being crazy by thinking I can go back to normal on Monday.
I feel horrible about my body right now and I am terrified of knowing how much I weigh. If anyone has any words or any positivity to share so I donāt feel crazy that would be much appreciated š
[Other] My favorite new dessert!
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 129 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.1 | F21]
Created: Fri Mar 9 10:33:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/838gri/my_favorite_new_dessert/
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https://i.redd.it/fg8owte0xrk01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Binging in Front of my Boyfriend
/u/wiggimal [5'6 | 128 | 21.0 | -57 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 10:30:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/838fun/binging_in_front_of_my_boyfriend/
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It seems that whenever I go see my boyfriend we eat when Iāve already eaten plenty or we donāt eat if I havenāt eaten anything that day. Last night I went over and we were planning on getting food so I didnāt eat all day and I had everything planned out perfectly. Well APPARENTLY I have no self control because he witnessed me eat an ENTIRE omelette, home fries, two pieces of toast, AND part of a pancake. Yep. I tell myself I canāt eat in front of him or eat much because he has a history of disordered eating and Iām competitive as fuck but apparently that didnāt matter to me last night until after. I havenāt stopped feeling guilty and disgusting since. Iām gross. Why am I like this????
[Rant/Rave] Did anyone else binge today?
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 69.6 -70.4 lbs | 13.2-3| forced into recovery]
Created: Fri Mar 9 09:57:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8386ef/did_anyone_else_binge_today/
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[removed]
Loose skin on face?
/u/ray-annegraff [5'0 | 108 | GW 94 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 09:16:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/837ubv/loose_skin_on_face/
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So I havenāt lost that much weight - maybe 8 pounds - but Iāve noticed the skin on my face seems to be looser? It just looks way less firm than it did before.
Is this from restricting, and is there a way to fix it? Has anyone else experienced this?
[Discussion] Do any of you watch loads of mukbang videos to cope with cravings?
/u/Qzry
Created: Fri Mar 9 09:00:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/837pk0/do_any_of_you_watch_loads_of_mukbang_videos_to/
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Or any other 'cheat day binge' videos which are like 10k cals. I just watch them to pass time and they somehow chill my cravings for some reason lol.
[Help] Help! Cardio making me stupid-hungry!
/u/slimmer_lite [5'5" | 125 | 21.5 | GW: 118 | UGW: 110]
Created: Fri Mar 9 08:52:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/837nb0/help_cardio_making_me_stupidhungry/
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Recently trying to get back into my workout routine after falling off the wagon for a couple months. I've run 3 times for half an hour since Monday, followed by about 20 minutes of weight lifting. And I've been out-of-my mind hungry since then! Weirdly I maintained and even lost a little weight (hovering around 120) while not working out, but since the beginning of the week I AM UP FOUR POUNDS wtffffff. Definitely I have been eating more because SO HUNGRY but Jesus not enough to gain four pounds I think? Also, I'm not pmsing and so far the poops are normal. Can somebody tell me what is going on and how I can get back into my routine without eating everything?
(On mobile- help a girl out!)
Safe water fast?
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Fri Mar 9 08:43:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/837l0l/safe_water_fast/
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So Iām doing a week long water fast that started last night (after I shoved a whole red velvet cupcake with cream cheese into my gaping maw). I was planning on having just black coffee with one sweetener in it, lots of sparkling and regular water, herbal tea, and gum. But I did some reading on myproana (I know I know, theyāre really dangerous and toxic), among other sites, and read that sweeteners are like sugar and interrupt ketosis and will end up making me feel *more* hunger. So Iām skipping the sweeteners and just having black coffee, a LOT of water (2+ liters), and herbal tea.
I also wanna say that I do work at a bank as a teller, and of course I work at the one bank that doesnāt have seats to sit in. So I stand up all day and today I have to skip my 1 hour lunch break to make up for a meeting that my boss was too sick to hold the other night, which is a whole other thing Iām irritated about because if I would have known that on Tuesdayā the last time I workedā I would have just skipped my lunch *that day*, but she didnāt tell us until I was 35 minutes into it. So now I have to do a 9 hour shift with absolutely no break and on our busiest week day (because itās Friday).
Anyway I guess I just wanna ask, is there anything else I should do?? I really donāt want to pass out in the middle of work but I absolutely have to do this fast or I think Iāll lose it. Iām finally ending a 5 month long binge in which I gained 20 lbs and ruined ALL the progress I worked so hard and suffered so much for. I guess this is kind of a rant and asking for advice. Pls help before I lose my mind.
[Rant/Rave] Supermarkets changed their pack size/recipe
/u/rumpleteaser91
Created: Fri Mar 9 08:38:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/837jug/supermarkets_changed_their_pack_sizerecipe/
---
I make breakfast burritos, so I don't binge after a gym sesh. The ingredients that I bought, conveniently made 20, two packs of hand sized tortillas, some bacon, egg and sausage meat. The tortillas used to come in packs of 10, for 87p, but now they're 90p, for 8, and they have 10 more calories! I was having a crappy day already, and I know it sounds pathetic, but I aimlessly wandered about the Supermarket, silently panicking, and eventually walked out with nothing. I don't get why this affected me so much!
[Help] My blood work was abnormal
/u/lost-in-limbo1990
Created: Fri Mar 9 07:59:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8379ji/my_blood_work_was_abnormal/
---
So my psychiatrist ran some blood tests yesterday since Iām in a full relapse again. I wasnāt actually worried at all since they stayed normal the entire time during my initial diagnosis period last year. I just got a call from her office, and they let me know that Iām significantly hypoglycemic and that my red cell count is high. They want me to go see my PCP for further evaluation. I donāt really want to deal with it or face anything, so Iām kind of frozen. I think that Iām just worried because I donāt know what I should expect as far as outcomes, diagnosis, etc. I know that my spouse will make me go eventually. Does anyone have any experience with this?
[Rant/Rave] Stupid Courier Ruined My Binge
/u/falafelwafflerofl
Created: Fri Mar 9 07:08:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/836wtw/stupid_courier_ruined_my_binge/
---
Ugh!! I'm so irrationally angry and upset right now you guys. I ordered 10 lbs of clearance Valentine's chocolate from Walgreens because I was going to binge super fucking hard today when it was delivered. The stupid courier (Lasership, you suck!!!) damaged my package and so it's unable to be delivered! I know it's silly but I really want to fucking cry. I've had this all planned since Sunday and now it won't be happening. I mean, in hindsight it's for the better since I was going to purge anyway, but I really wanted this chocolate. I should probably be happy that I won't be doing it, but now I just don't want to eat at all because I'm so upset. What the fuck is wrong with me? š Gotta love ed brain.
[Discussion] March 9th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 07:08:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/836wqb/march_9th_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
Who do you want to ignore today?
My irritating as fuck coworker.
Also, this huge zit that will still be there on Monday when I pick up my pseudo bf from the airport.
[Discussion] GOT CAUGHT...Most embarrassing binge stories
/u/uglydelicious
Created: Fri Mar 9 07:07:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/836wgs/got_caughtmost_embarrassing_binge_stories/
---
Man oh man. I have to say it's been years since I've had a binge that's happening in the presence of others where I had to **somewhat** tell them what happened and why. And boy, I caught it good the other day while I was travelling. I'd been very stressed and restricting most of the week last week. It's almost easier for me to restrict (and not binge) while travelling because I'm just not home in my safe space??? ANYWAY, earlier this week was the second to last night I before I went home, so I decided to eat a lil weed edible, drink some wine, and watch a movie with my friend. Hours later I wake up, in that not asleep but not awake haze and head for the kitchen, straight for the bag of chocolate chips I'd be eyeing/contemplating binging literally since the day I got there days before.
As an aside does anyone else eat in their sleep ESPECIALLY after restricting?? This has happened to me on numerous occasions and needless to say it ALWAYS gets messy.
Anyway, I wake up the next morning literally covered in chocolate. It was all over the bed, my body, face hands, pants (that I borrowed), sheets (that clearly were my friends), etc. Chocolate stuck on my body (my foot?? lmao), and was inherently mortified. I did what I could to get the stains out of the sheets, but quickly realized that it was everywhere and there was no way to save myself from the anxiety of my friend knowing and never saying anything to me about because she is the type of person that I know would just fix it and never mention it to me again. So I decided to swallow my pride and fully admit to what had happened. Thankfully, I had the weed on my side as an out, but MAN.
Anyway, does anyone else want to weigh in on embarrassing binge stories that put you up against the wall? This instance was a bit of a wake up call for me to really try to stop restricting. I hate the feeling of feeling like I'm "outed" ya know?? Huff...
[Rant/Rave] Why does it have to be so stressful?
/u/unpollutedfantasy [š„]
Created: Fri Mar 9 07:05:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/836vta/why_does_it_have_to_be_so_stressful/
---
I donāt know how I let food become so stressful. Fasting Iāll be stressed that I might get myself into a food situation. When friends wanna hang out I worry that food will be involved.
When Iām home binging I have to worry who will notice that Iāve gone to the kitchen 20 times in the past hour.
Last night I tiptoed out of my room to sneak a couple slices of pizza.
Waiting for the house to be clear so I can wash my huge stack of dishes from all the shit Iāve eaten.
I literally feel like a fucking rat because Iām always sneaking around
[Rant/Rave] The science behind it all, is why I am the way I am.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 9 06:57:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/836u29/the_science_behind_it_all_is_why_i_am_the_way_i_am/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] FIT FINDER Bullshit
/u/uglydelicious
Created: Fri Mar 9 06:47:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/836ruw/fit_finder_bullshit/
---
Ok so, like any fashion junkie, I am doing my morning sweep of my favorite sites, and came across this handy little tool called "Fit Finder." Basically what is does is suggest a size of clothing based on your height weight and get this, HOW FLAT YOU PRESUME YOUR STOMACH TO BE... Now, as someone who weighs about 40 lbs more than what I actually look (read: this good part of my disordered speaking right now..lol) this thing suggested me to purchase about 4 sizes bigger than what I am. And then of course, I get discouraged. I get this app or whatever you want to call it is there to assist consumers with non-disordered thinking, but Christ is it hard for me to look at the suggested size per my weight and think, "hey wait....maybe this is the size I SHOULD be wearing, and just wearing too tight of clothes..." I dont even know why I did this by putting my weight in and stuff to begin with. It's almost like I wanted the satisfaction to say I was smaller, but then got upset when I got what I wanted. Hmph story of an internal masochist. Anyway, fuck Fit Finder, lol.
[Discussion] I now wear size 0 jeans at all my favorite stores. Why does this make me angry??
/u/teaandboots
Created: Fri Mar 9 06:42:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/836qr8/i_now_wear_size_0_jeans_at_all_my_favorite_stores/
---
Size zero always seemed so mythical to me. I didnāt think my body shape could fit even with just bones. As a teen (before the ED thoughts/habits started) wearing 0ās would have sent me over the fucking moon.
But now my brain is dark and twisty and none of this makes me happy, even when Iām āsucceeding.ā I am FURIOUS that my fat fucking ass fits in the smallest (or 2nd smallest) size.
How can that be right? Is this an attack, a cruel joke, a super complicated prank?? My brain just canāt handle the idea and itās not giving me ANY satisfaction at all....just confusion and anger.
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like they don't deserve to be skinny or feel like they look good?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 9 06:41:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/836qkw/does_anyone_else_feel_like_they_dont_deserve_to/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Frustrated!
/u/ThisIsNotGumpy [5'2 | 97 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 9 06:32:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/836oj9/frustrated/
---
[removed]
[Help] Suggestions for a birthday dinner (need help)
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1.5" | CW202.4 | BMI38 | -18 | 22M]
Created: Fri Mar 9 06:31:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/836oho/suggestions_for_a_birthday_dinner_need_help/
---
I thought I would get away with passing off my best friend's birthday dinner this weekend as my own, like a joint thing. My friends are pressuring me to have a birthday dinner of my own on Monday, late evening. I told them I really don't want to, without explaining why. But I think they'll be disappointed if I do nothing. Can anyone give me suggestions of a safe restaurant or maybe something else to do instead? (I don't drink alcohol at all, either) Most restaurants open that late are like: IHOP, bar-style places, Denny's. Terrible choices but this is the only time (8:30pm) that really works for everybody. I'm panicking. Eating out twice in one week sounds like hell. Worst case I could save up my calories I guess.
[Other] I miss feeling small
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Fri Mar 9 06:23:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/836mo4/i_miss_feeling_small/
---
I miss feeling small, like I donāt take up any space. I feel so annoying, in the way, like my depression is just drama my whole family doesnāt need. I know Iāll be easier to manage when Iām smaller. It will be good- for everyone. Iāll finally feel comfortable and maybe then Iāll just be able to keep my emotions in check.
Iām sick of being the chubby sobbing girl who canāt stop fucking binging.
I used to restrict, and so so well. Itās time to find that girl again.
Iām so bloated and irritable and puffy and I feel so *ugly* that I am fasting as punishment.
[Tip] Tesco is still selling halo top (also found a dairy free thing)
/u/WorstCunt [crunchy]
Created: Fri Mar 9 05:20:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/836a1l/tesco_is_still_selling_halo_top_also_found_a/
---
For me, it shows on the website and I found it in-store today.
If you wanna know what stores *actually* have it in stock (a store halo top lists as a stockist never had it), tweet them + your area and they'll tell you. That's basically all I use twitter for hahahaha
Also Breyers is almost a match in terms of calories so might be worth asking about that if no halo top.
Finally, I found this range called swedish glace. It's all dairy free. They do a 750ml tub of 'ice cream' for Ā£2.50 so I'm gonna test that 'cause halo top is so fucking pricey.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! March 09, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 9 05:12:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8368j6/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_march/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for March 09, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 09, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 9 05:12:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8368i1/daily_food_diary_march_09_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 09, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I canāt cope anymore.
/u/BlondeActually
Created: Fri Mar 9 05:09:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8367x3/i_cant_cope_anymore/
---
Everything is just too much. Yesterday I had a migraine and I came home from work and puked my guts out and went to sleep. I was going to clean the house this morning, but I woke up late and left in a rush and wasnāt able to clean the cats litter box.
My boyfriend woke up and yelled at me on the phone while Iām rushing to work an hour away because the house was a mess, but god forbid he fucking tidies up. The cats okay are my responsibility but would it kill him to sweep the counters and wash the floors or DO THE FUCKING LAUNDRY WHICH IS TAKING OVER THE HOUSE. Now heās not talking to me and threatening to keep the cats outside on the terrace until I come home.
My dissertation is due next month and I havenāt started. I have two other assignments and an exam in he next two weeks, all not even touched.
My grandma has been here half a week and Iāve only seen her for an hour because I have no time. I donāt know how to spend time with her while completing my assignments and going to work as well.
Now Iām at work, weak and dizzy from vomiting last night and my lax are kicking in and itās hot and Iām so tired. Iām running around at work and just got to sit down for the first time today. I feel so weak I donāt know how Iām going to go back to work in 20 minutes with a fake smile on my face.
Itās all too much. Itās all too much. Itās all too much.
[Rant/Rave] I submit. I can't keep this up. I can't get better and I don't know if I care anymore (TW: mention of self harm)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Mar 9 04:29:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8360t5/i_submit_i_cant_keep_this_up_i_cant_get_better/
---
on mobile flair as rant rave please
I went to karaoke only to see the person I thought I would have had a thing going with that had ignored me for the better part of the last week. they went back to their jealous abusive and order partner who they weren't exclusive with. they smiled and apologized for ignoring me but the apologies fell short.
I sand two songs nearly losing mg voice and collapsing into tears but it's ok if was all part of the "act " they were angsty songs about being sad and I wasn't really sad as far as anyone was concerned then I went home and did what I had always done.
I coped poorly. the worst session in a while. I made my legs and arm a murder scene. my comforter stained by the blood. the knife read. the warm sting, the slight shock and rush from it all made me forget. coughing from smoking too many cigarettes in row, half a pack in an hour. probably going go get lung cancer at the rate I am going. I don't think I cut too deep but wish I did. what do I care anymore if I die. I can't be loved and no matter how I look I'll be ugly on the inside because I am.
I am at a new low in more ways than one. I'm not even underweight but the smallest I've been in ages because I'm too sad to eat. food tastes like charcoal. I hope some thing kills me in my sleep or randomly during the day.
I can't keep this up. I can't.
w.
Poem: Between One and Another
/u/hazeldawning [5'7" | 114 lbs | BMI: 17.8 | lost 23 lbs| female]
Created: Fri Mar 9 04:20:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/835zbp/poem_between_one_and_another/
---
Sometimes I tend to believe that I will just grow out of my habits
When I'm ready
But it will not happen
Not just like this
I want to recover
Though, I don't want to gain
I want my life back
But not my weight
When I try not to purge
I only restrict
You need not throw up
If you don't eat
If I try not to restrict
I gain weight too fast
And it just takes me back
To where I was
I try
I fail
I try harder
I fail harder
And each time I try to recover
The fall down is a greater suffer
"At first I stop purging
Then raise my intake."
While I know it's fake
"I'll get this working"
How dare I even believe
The crap I tell myself
The only one I deceive
Is myself
Somewhere
Torn between one and the other
They are there
They still exist
The shattered pieces of my utter self
But I don't even seem to bother
That it isn't long anymore
Until they ceize to exist.
Poem: Between one and another
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 9 03:44:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/835tho/poem_between_one_and_another/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] another āpurged for the first timeā post
/u/sedazzled
Created: Fri Mar 9 03:11:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/835nzb/another_purged_for_the_first_time_post/
---
fuck this.
only a little came out. too fucked up to keep trying. drugs are involved.
just 10 more lbs. why is that so hard.
fuck this.
[Rant/Rave] Concerta (ADHD Med) is a God Send
/u/Countdown2Control [5'4" | 136 | 23.8 | -40 |M]
Created: Fri Mar 9 00:35:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/834ywp/concerta_adhd_med_is_a_god_send/
---
[removed]
[Other] I thought my only monster was Ed, but I've come to realize his friends are just as malificent.
/u/MissNietzsche
Created: Thu Mar 8 22:57:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/834hjs/i_thought_my_only_monster_was_ed_but_ive_come_to/
---
Because even when I'm not bingeing or purging or fasting or overexercising, the constant taunts of body dysmorphia plague my every thought, whether I'm by myself or in the company of others.
And the only way to make those go away are to either 1) binge, or 2) dissociate.
And constantly dissociating is like having constant orgasms. At first might be fun, but after a while it just become tortuous. Nothing feels real and then it just turns into depression.
And then sometimes the dysmorphia infects my dissociation, and I'm right back to numbing myself with bingeing, because man, you do not want to suffer the former.
I *need* to slay these monsters before they get to me and kill me first.
I just don't know what the fuck to do anymore; I feel insane.
[Discussion] What Are You Craving Right Now?
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Thu Mar 8 22:18:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/834a81/what_are_you_craving_right_now/
---
I will go first. I want a big bowl of hummus with tortilla chips, grilled chicken, and black beans. And a bowl of raisan bran with banana. Basically a binge, a big fat binge is what I want right now. What about you guys?
[Rant/Rave] i need to get things back under control
/u/spaghetti_girl [5'3" | CW: 111 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 22:09:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8348in/i_need_to_get_things_back_under_control/
---
before this week i was restricting ~900 or less every day. now i binged on the stupidest shit yesterday AND today. pringles and crunchy peanut butter.. once yesterday and twice today. i fucking hate myself so much. i went to the gym and burned off 1000 calories after the first time and went right back home only to gain it all back by binging again.
i am so sick of feeling bloated and disgusting and fat like this i just want to scream. im desperate for a detox.. why is this shit so hard?
[Discussion] Anyone else feel this way?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 8 22:01:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8346ur/anyone_else_feel_this_way/
---
[deleted]
[Goal] This shouldnt make me feel good cause my daily calorie goal is 1000 but it does
/u/oFILo
Created: Thu Mar 8 21:31:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8340yc/this_shouldnt_make_me_feel_good_cause_my_daily/
---
https://i.redd.it/p1m0889d1ok01.jpg
[Help] Silly question but how do I add all my info in my name?
/u/gothicapples
Created: Thu Mar 8 21:29:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8340nb/silly_question_but_how_do_i_add_all_my_info_in_my/
---
I see most people have all their stats how do I add mine?
[Help] I need some help
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 21:24:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/833zps/i_need_some_help/
---
Okay this isn't really completely ED related, but it kind of is and this community is so great and I don't know where else to go right now. two weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend. My friends think he was emotionally abusive, but I don't want to believe it. He didn't really show me a lot of love. He knew about my eating disorder and told me I could always talk to him, but whenever I tried to he would give me one word answers. He also would point out hot girls whenever he saw them and then get irritated when I got insecure. He did a bunch of other stuff too. But idk right now I want to text him and beg him to take me back so badly. What do I do? I know he was bad for me but honestly I am so close to just saying fuck it and getting back with him because i feel like it's better to be with him than to be alone. Like I probably won't do better than him. Fuck you guys this sucks
[Discussion] My family catches on so fast when Iām restricting
/u/gothicapples
Created: Thu Mar 8 21:23:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/833zh0/my_family_catches_on_so_fast_when_im_restricting/
---
I have been in and out of treatment facilities for years since I was diagnosed I got out a few weeks ago having gained a huge amount
I attempted to say in recovery but itās just not for me so I have been restricting again but my family catches on so quickly
I donāt live with my family but we are all very close and my wife tells them the second I start to lose weight and restrict
Does anyone have a family that just knows the second you have relapsed?
Just watched Obesity: Post Mortem
/u/FutureTinyDancer
Created: Thu Mar 8 21:17:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/833y91/just_watched_obesity_post_mortem/
---
...and I've triggered so hard I can't even be a human around my family at this moment.
[Help] help! iāve gained 15lbs since dating my boyfriend!
/u/trash88776655
Created: Thu Mar 8 21:01:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/833utm/help_ive_gained_15lbs_since_dating_my_boyfriend/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fucking Work
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Thu Mar 8 20:56:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/833tw9/fucking_work/
---
Work was just a fucking shit show today. I work in a veterinary center and everything was going great until we had an emergency come in and then suddenly we fell super behind, everything is crazy, and everyone has a fucking attitude because I can't be in 5 places at once. Then I gotta play nice with all my goddamn coworkers and THEN I find out my boss fucked up my schedule this month so I had to email her to sort this shit out and I'm going on vacation in like 2 days so at least I'm off for 11 days but fuck dude I just want to scream
Forgive me if this is a thing or has been asked before: but is there like a discord or something?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 8 20:53:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/833ta6/forgive_me_if_this_is_a_thing_or_has_been_asked/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] How long until you start feeling high from fasting?
/u/onegoalfullcontrol
Created: Thu Mar 8 20:36:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/833pp4/how_long_until_you_start_feeling_high_from_fasting/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I was having a perfect day calorie wise...
/u/violentyetflammable [5'7" | CW: š· | UGW: 105 | F21]
Created: Thu Mar 8 20:28:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/833o0l/i_was_having_a_perfect_day_calorie_wise/
---
I was having the perfect 500 calorie day. I just got off work, I rode with my brother today cause we had the same shift, and planned on going to bed when I got home to just sleep through any hunger pains (plus I've barely gotten any sleep the last week).
Well, he suggested we go to the *WONDERFUL* Mexican restaurant next door, and since he used his gas money I was like sure, plus I was gonna get a skinny margarita...well I ended up getting tacos and a regular margarita and according to my Lose It! app my 500 calorie day has turned into roughly a 2700 day and I'm trying not to cry in the restaurant even though it's my fault. š
[Rant/Rave] I ate so much today. Almost 2000 calories when I've been trying to maintain at 300 (even though I haven't been lately prob because of stress but idk why). Fuck my life.
/u/gawainspussy
Created: Thu Mar 8 19:56:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/833h4o/i_ate_so_much_today_almost_2000_calories_when_ive/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] Managed to eat McDonaldās medium fries!
/u/squishyskeleton [Height 5ā5 | CW 52.7kg | BMI 19.4 | Weight Lost 20+kg | F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 19:26:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/833af6/rantrave_managed_to_eat_mcdonalds_medium_fries/
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This week as Iāve dropped down weight more (inaccurate flair, itās to hard to update on my phone: CW: 52.4kg BMI: 19.1) Iāve been trying to push myself to eat new foods and foods I would otherwise avoid because of their calories.
Yesterday I decided to order, eat and finish (without chewing and spitting which I started doing with fast food, one in front of my loving boyfriend and multiple times by myself) medium fries from McDonalds.
And guys. I did it. I was shaking the entire way through and I made me feel like crap. But I also felt like I accomplished something. Not only that but I didnāt gain weight. So now Iām trying to eat different foods (but still eating preferably around 700 calories) because Iām seriously starting to consider recovery as Iām close to my GW.
I want to get there first before I go and seek help. But I feel like Iām doing something to better myself and my situation.
The fries were good, but it took a lot out of me to do. Few foods are safe at the moment. But I think itās good to at least try and push myself. Uni has started and things are going to get more intense, and Iām worried my ED is going to get to me and really hurt me.
Sorry this was rambly.
[Rant/Rave] This week has been such a rollercoaster it almost doesn't even feel real
/u/athrowaway76250 [5'4" | CW: 103 | GW1: 99 | UGW: 95 | SW: 119 | LW: 99 | 24F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 18:55:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8333bk/this_week_has_been_such_a_rollercoaster_it_almost/
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Last Friday-Sunday: felt pretty optimistic and mostly content. let myself eat large quantities (i.e., normal-sized portions) of spicy food, because I'm PMSing and have been craving it. didn't hate myself for it, felt kind of proud of myself for letting myself listen to my cravings.
Monday night: let myself eat a bacon cheeseburger, because period cravings intensified. was overcome with regret 85% of the way through the burger, smashed up the rest, and threw it away. Panicked and tried to make myself throw up a few hours later; didn't work, probably waited too long. I've only tried to make myself throw up once before, several months ago, so the fact that I lost control of myself so badly that I tried to make myself throw up *again* made me panic even more. I have a fear of damaging my already-ugly teeth, so throwing up on purpose is something I've told myself I'll *never* do. Yet there I was, trying to make myself throw up. Cried over toilet for several minutes thinking about dying, then cried over sink for another 10.
Monday night-Tuesday night: fasted. as self-punishment, pretty much. consumed nothing except water, Powerade Zero, and Monster Zero for 24 hours. have never really fasted with a set duration in mind before, I just restrict and skip meals here and there; definitely have never gone 24 hours before.
Wednesday: Googled lowest calorie fruits and veggies, went out and bought a shitload, didn't eat anything all day, then somehow went out and drank with friends as if everything was normal and I was fine, as if I hadn't spent the last two days in a weird haze of the aftermath of trying to make myself throw up. had a hot dog while out. determined not to eat more that night. failed that, came home and made pathetic "soup" made of half broth/half water + veggies. felt disgusting despite not exceeding my TDEE even when accounting for the alcohol & hot dog.
this morning: ate nothing but sugar free jello and four strawberries. convinced myself I was going to fast all day and only eat veggies tonight.
tonight: got home from work, ate 20 mini popped rice cakes and an entire container of fat free cool whip. still under TDEE but above goal of 800. hate myself.
What am I doing? Why am I like this? Am I getting worse or getting better? Am I/was I ever that bad, really?
I feel like I'm coming off as fine to the people who know me (coworkers and friends), yet looking objectively at the things I have done/thought this week there is no way I am fine. Or am I being dramatic?
This week is just so surreal.
[Other] Bf gets me. ā¤ļø
/u/magicalpixiedust
Created: Thu Mar 8 18:39:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832zsc/bf_gets_me/
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https://i.redd.it/uaz6u5uu6nk01.jpg
[Other] I made a habit tracker for my journal
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 110.0 | 20.84 | -10 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 18:39:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832zoy/i_made_a_habit_tracker_for_my_journal/
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When I restrict, my executive dysfunction is so bad I can barely do anything. Class, self-care, chores, workouts, sleep, and basic hygiene get thrown into the garbage right along with my fat self.
So I made a thing in photoshop, which tracks my daily habits, good and bad, for a month. I'm gonna put it in my journal, which is basically a huge binder full of papers I get from therapy and journal-esque papers I make in Photoshop.
[HERE IS THE THING.](https://i.imgur.com/Yt4RTBx.jpg)
[Other] Little grocery haul. Guess who is back in restricting mode.
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Thu Mar 8 18:03:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832r6z/little_grocery_haul_guess_who_is_back_in/
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https://i.redd.it/ulls4oua0nk01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Pros/cons of sleeping for 14 hours
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 17:58:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832q44/proscons_of_sleeping_for_14_hours/
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[removed]
[Intro] Just got peach! Looking for people more in my age range mid to late twenties
/u/Peggyofthehilll [5'8"| 140 | 19% | GW:120]
Created: Thu Mar 8 17:58:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832q2g/just_got_peach_looking_for_people_more_in_my_age/
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Username: chinacatsunflower
[Help] What weight loss app do you use?
/u/gothicapples
Created: Thu Mar 8 17:24:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832ht3/what_weight_loss_app_do_you_use/
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I have been using loseit forever because MFP wonāt let me have such a low calorie intake
I have been considering getting lose it premium but that got me thinking what does everyone else use?
[Rant/Rave] My husband brought me a fancy cupcake since Iāve been having a hard day at work. Fml.
/u/User820125 [65ā CW: Fuck GW: over and done.]
Created: Thu Mar 8 17:20:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832gnn/my_husband_brought_me_a_fancy_cupcake_since_ive/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] WHY AM I LIKE THIS!?
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Thu Mar 8 17:19:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832gi7/why_am_i_like_this/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I have dropped two pant sizes!!!
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Mar 8 17:09:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832dr2/i_have_dropped_two_pant_sizes/
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on mobile flair as rant/rave or other.
I have restricted and only slightly binged once this week and I'm at a new low that is lower than before. into the mid 150s instead of low 160s. flair is going to be updated at some point.
so the main thing is all my jeans and pants are noticeably looser. I usually wear a 12/13/14 in skinny jeans or have for a while and I was out looking for a couple new pairs and found some in 6/8 that fit! I am so hacking excited my legs are still enormous but my tummy feel kind of flat.
the 6s feel tight but the 8s and 10s are about perfect. and I feel like in really dark washes and black my legs actually look sort of good.
so yeah I don't feel smaller but my measurements apparently are. so yeah.
today is not a bad day so far and I'm going to a queer nonbinary meet up which I'm sort of nervous for but I'm riding the joy of feeling small.
w. š¤
[Discussion] What are some of your most effective rules?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 8 17:06:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832cx7/what_are_some_of_your_most_effective_rules/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832cx7/what_are_some_of_your_most_effective_rules/
[Rant/Rave] TL;DR: Restricting. Uneaten food in trashcan. What a fucking rookie mistake.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 8 16:56:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832alp/tldr_restricting_uneaten_food_in_trashcan_what_a/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Do you use Recovery Record? Are you honest?
/u/User820125 [65ā CW: Fuck GW: over and done.]
Created: Thu Mar 8 16:55:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832afr/do_you_use_recovery_record_are_you_honest/
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Iām relapsing hard and logging it all. Is anyone else using the app and how are you logging?
[Rant/Rave] Fuck up your body - fuck up your passions
/u/louloulouise
Created: Thu Mar 8 16:41:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8326pt/fuck_up_your_body_fuck_up_your_passions/
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Back in high school I was a part of an acrobatics group. While I wasnāt incredibly skilled like some of the members - I loved doing it. Being thin - I was a flyer and got to stand gracefully at the top of the pyramids.
Now - five years and oh god, so many pounds later. Iāve been steadily losing weight over the past year - but not healthily at all.
I run a fire dance group at my college and we do some stunts that involve people standing or sitting on others shoulders. Usually Iāve been basing the tricks with one really really tiny guy on my shoulders but today I decided I had lost enough weight to try being on top.
So I try to climb on the shoulders of of a guy whoās pretty big and can base pretty much anyone and.......it didnāt work. He could barely hold my weight and I didnāt even have the body strength to pull myself into his shoulders.
Iām so frustrated. First I was too fat. Now Iām too fat AND too weak.
Plus my super athletic crush/gf saw me.
Fuck everything Iām hiding in bed for a year.
[Rant/Rave] The depression is hitting me full force again and I donāt want to be here anymore
/u/misspennyfoolish
Created: Thu Mar 8 16:34:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/832531/the_depression_is_hitting_me_full_force_again_and/
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I canāt stop crying. I am heartbroken. No one likes me, Iām so lonely and Iām just not good enough in any way. I am not that smart, have terrible social skills, am broken psychologically and Iām so ugly. So ugly and thatās why no guy sees me as more than a third or fourth choice. Iām hideous and I canāt even lose the weight to make it a bit better. Canāt stop going over my cal goal lately.
I just feel so bad, like Iām falling into a deep hole and I canāt stop falling. Any comments will be really appreciated. I miss my therapist and have no one to talk to now
[Rant/Rave] "Id rather put poison in my body then calories" and other things I wish I have never said. A memoir, by Me.
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 130 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 20 F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 16:32:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8324jn/id_rather_put_poison_in_my_body_then_calories_and/
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Both of my coworkers are older and very health conscious. But they read those MomBlogs and think every thing that is written on those is fact.
Today's topic of choice was Aspertame. And how horrible it is for your body and how its literally poison and causes cancer and yada yada. You probably know the drill.
And not even thinking I said. Aloud. To these people who have no idea about my ED. I would rather drink poison than calories. Good lord I need someone to save me.
[Rant/Rave] This mental illness is not discrete at all
/u/andromedagalaxxy [5'6.5 | 128 | 20.4 | -19 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 16:10:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/831yn5/this_mental_illness_is_not_discrete_at_all/
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At my highest I was 147, and when I lost nearly 20 pounds, not even quickly, my family members became concerned, some even saying I was "too thin", which is ridiculous. I want to get to 110-115, yet I know that as I do, and when I do (if I do), concern from friends and family will be even more extreme.
Everyone can visually see weight loss. They can see when you avoid eating. You can't hide it away like other mental illnesses. I hate that. I feel vulnerable, exposed. I want to be effortlessly thin. I don't want to hear other people's concern, opinions, or judgment. I don't want to hear "you're already at a healthy weight, you look good, don't lose anymore." I already god damn know I'm at a healthy weight, I already know I'm "not fat", I already know my body is acceptable to societal standards. And I don't care. I'm crawling out of my skin. I'm not satisfied. I want to get to my goal weight, regardless of what anyone thinks, because that's *my* standard.
It's so hard to hide an eating disorder and I resent that so much.
Need an accountability buddy
/u/skinnyhappyfree
Created: Thu Mar 8 16:04:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/831x6s/need_an_accountability_buddy/
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[removed]
[Help] Fidgeting
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: 99 | GW:88 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 16:01:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/831wau/fidgeting/
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I've read somewhere that fidgeting can burn up to 350 extra calories a day. And I just calculated how much weight I lost since january vs how much I should have lost, according to my calorie diary. And I lost MORE than what my diary told me. I calculated that I lost about 0.8lbs more every week since january, which means I was on a 400kcal deficit every day. So either one of two things is happening: either I overestimate how much I actually eat or I burn a shit ton of calories by just bouncing my leg like crazy.
Anyway, I just wanted to ask: does anyone here know how many calories an average person burns in an hour when fidgeting? I tried to find it online but couldn't find it anywhere. It only said 350kcal, but not how long an average person fidgets. I'm pretty sure I do it around 4 hours in a day (leg bouncing) and I'm around 100lbs, so what do you think? How many calories do I burn?
[Other] My boyfriendās parents donāt like me
/u/fatandignored
Created: Thu Mar 8 15:16:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/831j4w/my_boyfriends_parents_dont_like_me/
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He told me they think Iām fat, Iām ugly, and Iām rude. I donāt know what he expects to gain from telling me this. Heās perfect otherwise but he keeps pushing me to exercise and lose weight. I mentioned my eating disorder so I donāt know why he tells me this. Iām Korean, we learn to be extremely polite to elders. I donāt understand how Iām rude. I feel fat but Iāve lost a lot of weight. Iām at a normal bmi.
He told me again today and now I donāt even want to visit. I felt like eating normal today too. I lost my appetite and Iām about to throw away $11 worth of food. I already feel like he hates my body, why does he have to be like this?
His parents really know how to kill someoneās confidence. And he really doesnāt know that this is not really cool to tell me, I wish he kept it to himself.
Drole De Motivation Pour Adulte seulement # 2
/u/Bhappy514
Created: Thu Mar 8 14:38:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8318vi/drole_de_motivation_pour_adulte_seulement_2/
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https://youtu.be/29zyxyT57ME
[Rant/Rave] i feel so ashamed
/u/orkestrels
Created: Thu Mar 8 14:32:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8317hh/i_feel_so_ashamed/
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(i usually tend to lurk on reddit more than i do make actual posts, o hopefully i don't mess this up somehow.. ;___; sorry for any mistakes, and if this is convoluted & messy..)
i feel like if i lose weight, i'll be able to be more independent?.. :( because i no longer want to spend time with my boyfriend or my friends to be happy, because it makes me feel so needy and disgusting, just a burden on them. the only thing that really makes me feel alright has been relapsing into my disordered eating, even though i know it's not a real solution, but another problem. but it makes me feel safe; i feel all alone, because i feel so horrible and awful that nobody wants me around. it isn't even being fat that i hate - i feel like it's all so artificial? like i know people who are bigger, but they have lives, friends who like them, people who care, because they're nice/smart/talented, but i'm all empty inside, so the only accomplishment i can have is something like this.
but i can't even feel proud of myself for this. i feel so disgusted with myself, all the time. if i eat under 500 calories, it doesn't matter. it's disgusting because i'm still letting myself eat, and i don't deserve it.. if i fast, it doesn't matter. it's the bare minimum of what i expect myself to do, since i have to prove somehow that i deserve to exist, by not eating at all. anyway, if i don't exercise while i fast, i feel like a failure too.. i feel so sad, because i never win. there's never been a point where i feel proud of myself. i feel ashamed because i have to weigh myself in secret, because i can't let my boyfriend know. i feel ashamed when i can't go out with friends because i don't want to eat with them. i feel ashamed that i feel like i have to do this, because i'm afraid that if i don't have an eating disorder, i don't have anything at all, except that i'm disgusting. but at least when i'm doing unhealthy things like that, i know i'm disgusting? :( it makes me feel a little bit better, but it's not nearly enough to feel "good."
today i weighed myself and i'm at my lowest weight. a girl at work asked me how much i weighed and i told her and i felt embarrassed, because she's so small, and i felt grotesque, but she was only three pounds apart from me. i thought the difference would be thirty, or even more.. i don't know what about me disgusts me so much. even though i'm at my lowest weight, and even despite that experience, though, and even though i've been restricting regularly, i hate myself so much. i looked at the scale and for a moment, i felt kind of happy? i felt proud. but then it was followed by shame - because i don't deserve to feel proud, because this is what's expected of me, i have to be this weight just to be "okay," and even then i feel gross, because i'm just so ugly somehow, i can't be satisfied being this weight.
just want to feel proud - i want to feel proud of something, anything in my life. but i feel like nothing ever makes me feel that way. i feel so depressed, because i feel like it's going to be this way forever. i've already had this eating disorder for nine years, and never have i felt even okay-looking, i always feel like i'm on the verge of someone calling my arms disgusting when i wear even a t-shirt, or a thin sweater. i envy other people so much. i don't even think it's possible for me to be "skinny" at any weight, i just feel like i'm constantly trying to just look "not ugly." :( it's just really difficult.
[Rant/Rave] Being fat is harder than being hungry.
/u/PermanentHysteria
Created: Thu Mar 8 14:17:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83132v/being_fat_is_harder_than_being_hungry/
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I've been internally whiny all day, lusting over some Olive Garden pappardelle beef bolognese. So much wheedling with myself about how it'd be okay to break my fast because it's so delicious when that thought just popped into my head.
Would I rather eat pasta or be proud of myself for meeting my goals?
Still want pasta but am remotivated. Hoping to fast tomorrow also.
[Discussion] Do the calories in psylium fiber count?
/u/PleaseLoveMeAgain [5'2 | CW: 117.6lbs | GW: 110lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 14:03:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/830z5v/do_the_calories_in_psylium_fiber_count/
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https://i.imgur.com/4hf7FP3.png
Punching my recipe into cronometer, it shows 17.5 calories per tbsp (6g) for psylium husks. But then then for the rest of the nutrition info it shows 5 grams of carbs, 4.5 of which are fiber, and no fat or protein?
So based on that shouldn't there be only 2 calories per tablespoon of psylium? Because fiber doesn't count? Are those fiber calories somehow digestible? I've always counted psylium as 0.
[Rant/Rave] If vegetable recipes could stop calling for 500 calories of oil that would be great
/u/OriginalJokeGoesHere [170cm | GW 45kg | šØš¦ āļø]
Created: Thu Mar 8 13:39:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/830sb9/if_vegetable_recipes_could_stop_calling_for_500/
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This is a recurring frustration of mine. I actually really love vegetables, especially when they're roasted. I was browsing youtube today and saw a recipe for charred cabbage that looked amazing. It started out with a little bit of oil in the pan, which I understand. But then they added HALF A STICK OF BUTTER to this poor chunk of cabbage?
I also cook occasionally with someone who makes salad dressing with huge amounts of oil and maple syrup(?) and then *drenches* the salad in it.
I just wish that people would eat vegetables without negating the fact that they're low cal and really tasty on their own!
[Thinspo] My reasons to stick to 1K calories
/u/NutelllaBellla
Created: Thu Mar 8 13:19:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/830meo/my_reasons_to_stick_to_1k_calories/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] CANADIANS!!!!! ITS HERE.
/u/101_honey [š¼5'1.5" / cw: fucking huge / gw-101]
Created: Thu Mar 8 13:15:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/830lax/canadians_its_here/
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https://www.narcity.com/food/here-are-all-the-places-that-you-can-find-halo-top-ice-cream-in-canada
[Rant/Rave] Started Vyvanse yesterday. BED for 15 years.
/u/uhnjuhnj
Created: Thu Mar 8 13:08:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/830j5m/started_vyvanse_yesterday_bed_for_15_years/
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Is this what normal people feel like when they encounter food?
NO FUCKING WONDER WHY I AM FAT.
Holy shit this is a mental illness. I am not lazy, I am not worthless, I am not unloveable. I am sick.
I'm being treated like a human being by my pcp. She is helping me get better. Every doctor before her has told me to go on a diet.
LOL
Just go on a diet guys. That'll fix it.
I hope you guys find someone who treats you with respect. I'm not remotely cured but it feels pretty amazing to be taken seriously for once.
[Help] Been riding the struggle bus. ECA stack news
/u/blockchainpower
Created: Thu Mar 8 13:07:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/830iyk/been_riding_the_struggle_bus_eca_stack_news/
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So I've been riding the struggle bus lately & have been stuck fluctuating between 129 - 131 lbs for over a month when my goal is 122lbs. So I looked up help here & discovered the ECA stack! Been 2 days & I'm amazed.... no hunger/binge all consuming thoughts PLUS more energy!
Thank you so much guys!!!!
[Discussion] Finally got peach... looking to connect with people
/u/MightyMuskrats [š5'2 | š | GW 115 | -17 | 22Fš]
Created: Thu Mar 8 13:04:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/830hwq/finally_got_peach_looking_to_connect_with_people/
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Hey y'all! I finally got the peach app and I'm hoping to connect with people on there, if anyone wants to drop a username in this thread or has any gripes or raves about the app please tell me about them! š thanks
[Rant/Rave] Suitemate subtly told me she knows that Iām purging
/u/fernsandfoxes [5ā6ā | CW:123 | BMI:19.93 | GW:110 | 18F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 13:02:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/830h9h/suitemate_subtly_told_me_she_knows_that_im_purging/
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The walls are super thin in our dorm and her room is next to the bathroom. I thought I was being quiet but after an especially long purge session she told me āI can usually hear everything that goes on in the bathroom but itās none of my businessā. I just shrugged it off but I donāt really know how to feel or what to do. Just wanted to rant I guess. Anyone have any similar experiences with roommates?
Edit: Iām really grateful she responded the way she did and wasnāt invasive. I lucked out
[Rant/Rave] When your psychiatristās nurse congratulates you on your weight loss...
/u/lost-in-limbo1990
Created: Thu Mar 8 12:03:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8300kf/when_your_psychiatrists_nurse_congratulates_you/
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So the nurse at my psychiatristās office commented this morning that Iāve lost 11 pounds since my appointment 4 weeks ago. She said āOh thatās great!ā Maybe she didnāt pay attention to the ED diagnosis in my chart, but I TOTALLY shouldnāt be receiving extra weight loss encouragement right now. I mean, I do think itās great. Iām overweight from my last ārecovery periodā (I started eating again and gained too much weight back) But starving myself and purging when I do eat is probably not the weight loss plan that she was referencing when she congratulated me. Oops! š¬
[Rant/Rave] Why do they notice now?
/u/Rustlingjimmies87
Created: Thu Mar 8 12:02:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8300ep/why_do_they_notice_now/
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I donāt understand it. Iām a few lbs heavier than my recent low weight and in my public facing job about 1 out of every 30 people have asked if Iām losing weight. I donāt understand why now they keep asking, when I was so much lower before.
Also side note: my boyfriends house has two scales in his parents room that I use when they are both at work, and they vary WILDLY in what the measurements are. I go insane anytime I am there and have to weigh. Iām talking 5-10 lbs over what my aria says on their digital, and their analog jumps so much that i canāt seem to manually calibrate it. Anyone else feel the need to buy someone else a decent scale???
[Other] My duolingo knows
/u/ch3rrykn0t
Created: Thu Mar 8 11:51:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82zwzt/my_duolingo_knows/
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https://i.redd.it/zlpblciw5lk01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Unsolicited Calorie Advice
/u/BadAsh3403 [5'4" | 106 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 10:52:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82zfbx/unsolicited_calorie_advice/
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One of my male coworkers just saw me put my proportioned lunch in the fridge and asked āAre you actually eating?ā Then said āHow many calories do you eat in a day?ā Feeling really uncomfortable, I tried to think of a normal answer and said āI donāt know, like 2000 maybe?ā And he said āWell you should definitely eat over 1200 but 2000 is a little much.ā
What the fuck? Iām so confused and uncomfortable and upset?
Amazon Staples?
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 153 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 10:34:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82zakg/amazon_staples/
---
Hey y'all, about to place and order...what are some of your Amazon staples? Diet/safe foods preferred, but also anything else you use to cope?
My go-tos are:
* PB2
* Kim's magic pop
* [This low-calorie Queso](https://www.amazon.com/Nacho-Moms-Ultimate-Vegan-Queso/dp/B00CFM6NVG/ref=sr_1_3_s_it?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1520530169&sr=1-3&keywords=0+weight+watchers+points)
* Extend bars
* Saki Ika (Japanese squid snack)
* Konjac/Shirataki Noodles (can't find my usual ones anymore - brand suggestions welcome!)
[Rant/Rave] I met my boyfriend at my highest weight
/u/ciaowdy
Created: Thu Mar 8 10:15:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82z55w/i_met_my_boyfriend_at_my_highest_weight/
---
TLDR: my boyfriend prefers me overweight. I obviously do not agree.
My bf and I met almost a year ago in my university's coffee shop. He approached me to ask me out. When we met I was approaching 150 pounds at 5'1", the heaviest I've ever been. He left for Marine corps boot camp 3 months later, and when he returned I'd lost ~30 pounds. He never commented on the change, so although that is a noticeable amount, I assumed he was not aware.
My weight loss had plateaued since then, and I'd gained about 5 pounds back. We are taking some swing dance classes together, and for some of more complicated moves and lifts, I feel too heavy. My bf is quite underweight, and I'm on the higher end of normal. This particular combo makes me feel insecure in the class, and my efforts to reach my UGW have ramped up.
He has now started commenting on my weight loss and how he feels that I've lost too much. He says he misses my butt and boobs (they've pretty much disappeared tbh), and he worries about me. I'm not even close to underweight, so I feel that his concern is unjustified. I have noticed though that he doesn't seem as attracted to me and I feel extremely conflicted. I love him and want to feel attractive in his eyes, but I hate my current weight. He says he will love me no matter my size (which is extremely understanding), but he prefers my body how it was when we met.
Im still 20 pounds away from my UGW and I feel so conflicted. Have any of you guys dealt with something similar?
[Discussion] List of shameful things bulimia has made me do.
/u/IHateBloodElves [5'3" | 136 | 25 | -38 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 10:11:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82z3z3/list_of_shameful_things_bulimia_has_made_me_do/
---
Hi people,
Just so you know how much bulimia takes a huge place in my life, let me tell you many things it has made me do. Maybe if you too did some things thanks to this shitty issue, you'll feel less lonely.
- I had a lower balcony in my bedroom. It was a huge bedroom. The first months where I fell in the hole, like where I discovered "pro ana's stuff", I used to keep plastic bags in my room where I just puked ALL my meals, snacks and then I hid it. Throwing out the trash bags was a true challenge because it was full of my puke and it could tear appart at any moment when I was holding it.
- I remember, once before going to my dance class, I lunched on pasta and I felt miserable. I puked in a bunch of tissues and put it oustide, in front of my window so that I could throw them out later. Disgusting.
- Each morning, during my high school period, I puked my breakfast in the school's bathroom. My father forced me to eat in the morning and I hated that. One day, I arrived late. I told my teacher I didn't feel right, so she let me out going to the bathroom. The classroom had a view on the outside (toilets were outside so the teacher could have an eye on me) and I was too afraid to make too much noise while puking that I made my thing on ... my binder. No joke.
- My parents were very careful about my bulimia's state of mind. They were checking the toilet seat after each trip I made. I decided to go to the public bathrooms every time I binged eat or snacked. But it was often the same days at the same hours, and at those hours, the guy who cleaned the public restrooms met me. He began to get suspicious about me and with my paranoia working on, I think he took me for a junkie. Well, I literally was/am in some way.
- During my college period, I needed my portions of junk food each day. It was like crack, if I didn't have it, I would shake and sob. I was so much in need each and everyday that every month, I was in the red zone. I was a student after all. I tried to smoke to cut off my cravings but as a bulimic shithead, when you puke, just ... don't smoke. It happened that I was spitting blood, don't do that.
TL;DR : Bulimia sucks. I did stupid retarded things thanks to it. If you too did, you're not alone.
Accurate Scale Suggestions
/u/cybermua
Created: Thu Mar 8 09:34:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82yt4o/accurate_scale_suggestions/
---
Guys Iām so frustrated w/ my scale right now. It NEVER gives me the same measurement twice. It always vacillates 1.5-2.5 pounds within minutes of weighing.
Do any of you have an accurate scale youād recommend? Ideally off amazon?
[Help] BED is destroying my health and I can't stop [TW: suicide]
/u/space-kaiserin
Created: Thu Mar 8 09:30:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ys33/bed_is_destroying_my_health_and_i_cant_stop_tw/
---
I'm not sure if I should be posting this here, but I don't have anybody else I can turn to for support and I just really need to vent to somebody who might understand what I'm going through.
I've had a bingeing problem probably since middle school. Because meals were always a mandatory family event, I often had to eat a big plate of food even if I wasn't hungry, and I always felt horrible if I didn't clean my plate. Something had to die so I could eat it, you know? Years of living with the "clean your plate" mentality led to weight gain, and that just made me eat even more when I was no longer getting full on the smaller amount of food.
Later on in university, I became extremely burnt out and was making preparations for suicide because of how miserable my life had become. I was routinely nauseous and stress ate so much that I gained 20lbs. before my parents let me take a break from school last year. Just when I finally stopped having suicide nightmares every night and constantly wishing for death, I was suddenly hospitalized for a week in November with (acute?) pancreatitis. Though the doctors could not determine a cause, I secretly had little doubt in my mind that it was from the weeks of bingeing on packs of cream cheese, butter cookies, M&Ms... On Halloween, I must have eaten an entire cup worth of margarine in the form of homemade caramel. I don't know what the hell was going through my mind that made me think any of that was a good idea.
Pancreatitis was the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life. I kept passing out, my breathing became incredibly shallow, and morphine did nothing for the pain. My father seriously thought I was going to die. After discharge, I was told to stick to a low-fat diet to prevent further irritation. A week later, I was right back to bingeing on Thanksgiving food. I suddenly dropped a lot of weight despite my eating habits, which I can only assume means I can't even properly digest my food anymore. Sometimes there are days when I feel so uncomfortable that I can abstain from all food and drink, but only out of fear of being hospitalized again. Yet, as soon as the pain goes away, I'm bingeing again. There's a good chance I will eventually have to have my pancreas removed and that I will become diabetic as a result, which I'm sure will do wonders for my QOL and self-esteem.
Sorry for sharing my whole life story, but I am just really disgusted with myself right now and I don't know what else to do. I could literally die if my bingeing triggers another attack. I know that, and still I do it. Though the pain has started to increase my death drive again, I am terrified of dying in this way. I don't want to suffer extreme pain and leave behind my family and all my unfinished business just because I'm a POS with no self-control.
TL;DR: My lack of self-control around food could kill me in the near future and I could really use some advice, an empathetic ear, or even just a kick in the ass to help me change. I can't keep doing this.
[Other] Controlled binge?
/u/shrinktoavoid [F 5'7|105.6]
Created: Thu Mar 8 09:30:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82yrzl/controlled_binge/
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So I've been doing relatively well with keep my calorie intake super steady at 1400 cal/day. Maintaining my weight and even slowwwwwly losing. But over the last week I love become obsessed with food, even more than normal, all I could think about is what I can eat, when I'd eat, how badly I wanted to binge... I was just mentally and physically starving and desperately needing food.
Yesterday free pizza and cookies were provided at work. I had already eaten my carefully packed lunch and I even adjusted my dinner plan to fit in one cookie... anyways, I ended up eating a slice of pizza and then I spiralled. I ate fucking everything. I purged. Ate more. Purged. Ate more. Went to taco bell, bought chocolate bars, purged again. Then I decided to just eat, not in a bingey way, but just eat anything I needed to satisfy my cravings.
So now I'm in the midst of a weird 'controlled' binge where I'm eating everything that I've been wanting, but I'm only eating what I ACTUALLY want, not just stuffing my face with everything like my normal binges usually are.
And it's nice. I'm giving myself until today at noon to eat what I want - without purging, without counting calories - then I'll fast the rest of the day, and restart tomorrow.
That's all.
When your favorite singer almost certainly has/had an eating disorder and you're seemingly the only one who notices...
/u/AnimalCount
Created: Thu Mar 8 09:27:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82yr63/when_your_favorite_singer_almost_certainly_hashad/
---
https://i.redd.it/z3yt6qi7gkk01.png
[Discussion] How can I make myself poop without having a butthole period?
/u/stresssedthrowaway
Created: Thu Mar 8 08:41:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ye1d/how_can_i_make_myself_poop_without_having_a/
---
(on mobile please flair as discussion/help)
Hello,
So I'm currently fasting and have been since late Sunday night (~80 hours so far). The problem is, and maybe this is TMI, but I can't poop!
I know that if I could just get some of the food that remains in my system out, I can finally drop under my next gw. I'm not much of a lax user, as I prefer restricting, but has anyone had a similar problem? I can just tell I'm looking bloated, and it's starting to get uncomfortable. I do have things I have to do the next few days which is why I say I don't want a "butthole period".. I know I could just take a bunch of lax but then I'll be running to the bathroom every twenty minutes.
Thank you!
[Rant/Rave] "What's your hobby?" "Obsessing over food." :(
/u/onegoalfullcontrol
Created: Thu Mar 8 08:38:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82yd5s/whats_your_hobby_obsessing_over_food/
---
I hate when people ask me what I do in my spare time. I don't have anything interesting to say. I just go on the computer and obsess and try to control my food. But I can't think of anything else to do. It's like it's rooted in my mind, in my personality, and it's never coming off. I need something that's "bad", that I need to control. I need to have some sort of vice - alcoholics have alcohol; shopaholics have shopping; I have food. I wish I could change it, but I don't know how to and I don't know what I'd change it too.
/end of rant
[Other] I saw this really interesting Ted Talk about how weight loss works and I thought I would share with you guys š
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | CW 113.6 | GW 100 | 26F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 08:30:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82yb1l/i_saw_this_really_interesting_ted_talk_about_how/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuIlsN32WaE&feature=share
[Rant/Rave] Dear dorm roommate: Fuck you, kindly.
/u/Vanilla_Mieux [*:ļ½„ļ¾ā§ 5'1 | GW: 65lbs | CW: 75lbs | F *:ļ½„ļ¾ā§ ]
Created: Thu Mar 8 07:45:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82xz8d/dear_dorm_roommate_fuck_you_kindly/
---
ā¢ I am *so* fed up with you moaning about being fat, then waking me up at 2am with rustling of chip bags and you **GOD AWFUL CHEWING AND MOUTH SMACKING**.
ā¢ I am also fed up with you being all passive aggressive about me making my *only meal of the day* and eating it QUIETLY, STRICTLY IN MY SPACE, just because it makes you feel bad about yourself or whatever. Yes, I do eat a lot. Yes, I also take a long time to finish my meal, because I *chew properly and try to enjoy my only fucking meal*. And you don't have the RIGHT to complain, because I never, EVER touch your food, I never make any noise eating (apart from watching The Office, which I watch with earphones if I notice you have to study), and, god damnit, I *CLEAN UP AFTER MYSELF*, unlike you.
ā¢ I would really appreciate your gossip mates from next door not make disgusted faces at me behind my back when they walk in (unannounced) to take your charger or whatever, and happen to see me making my meal. We have windows, and we don't have curtains, and if it's dark out, they also serve as mirrors- which I'm sure you know, you never stop checking yourself out in them. Just thought your *friends* might want to know that I can see them scowling at my back even if it's turned.
ā¢ Please *stop* walking around the room barefoot from the shower when you know you just walked the same way in your wet, snowy boots. And *please* clean your dirty cups and bowls, and throw away the orange peels. I can't keep finding raisins all around the room because you couldn't bother cleaning up your spilled food. And sometimes your spilled food gets on my clothes too, because, as I'm sure you know, our room is literally just a single room, and you make your food right by my closet, which I *miraculously* find open every so often, even though I religiously close all cupboards, drawers, closets and **doors** (looking at you) I find.
ā¢ Slow down with the high and mighty looks from above and faux-friendly-tone *mockings* like "Oh you eat that????? *How* do you stay so thin, if I ate that I'd be as big as a truck!!!"
*inhale*
I am literally going to vomit all of this and then some exactly 7 minutes after I finish eating it, so you can mind your own business, and, you know, maybe study for that class you didn't feel like attending last three weeks?? Just sayin, cause, you need good grades to stay in the dorm................
I'm so done. I *AM* a bitter and angry piece of shit human person (and I sure sound like it), so I probably need to attribute a part of my anger towards that too, but I can't do this. I'm already anxious, paranoid and have privacy and space issues as is, I *really don't* need you acting like a disgusting, judgemental slob like you are.
I feel so bad after writing this down. I'm so judgemental and awful myself, but I can't keep feeling so uncomfortable in the place that's supposed to serve as my """""home""""" while I'm attending uni. And that one sole meal is the only thing that makes me a tiny bit happy to get up in the morning, so if she ruins it consistently, I can literally just off myself.
/rant over. I'm going to go cry in the bathroom stalls now.
[Help] Please help I ate way too much
/u/GameofLoans16
Created: Thu Mar 8 07:29:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82xv47/please_help_i_ate_way_too_much/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Remorse ] How could I do this to myself?
/u/darcierebel [5'6" | CW: 130 | -25 | GW: 120]
Created: Thu Mar 8 07:16:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82xrud/rantremorse_how_could_i_do_this_to_myself/
---
I decided to try recovery... What a fucking disaster. For the last two months I haven't weighed myself and haven't tracked my eating. Yesterday I looked down at my thighs and they looked like they had DOUBLED in size, so I started grabbing at my hips, my waist, my back and all of it felt so puffy and disgusting. I weighed myself this morning... I went from 130 to 138 in two months (I have been binging for the last 2 weeks). I almost cried. But instead, I went to the gym for two hours as punishment. I feel like I let myself down. I want to bury myself in blankets from shame at what I did to my body.
[Help] My mother wants to weigh me, help
/u/PainlessMe [17F | 1.75 | CW: 61.1 | GW: 50 | SW: 70.1]
Created: Thu Mar 8 07:01:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82xnyd/my_mother_wants_to_weigh_me_help/
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Hello, so my mother recently decided that I should not lose any more weight and wants to weigh me every week because she doesnāt trust me when I tell her that Iām maintaining (Iām not, but not completely on purpose).
So she wants me to stay at 60kg, and Iām 59 now, so is it an idea to weigh myself before this moment, chug the amount of liters water that I weigh less than 60kg and then weigh with my mother? So if I weigh 59 Iāll drink a liter? Iām not expecting to lose very quickly, so it would be possible right?
Also Iām not sure what she wants me to wear but Iām not going in underwear or nude so I could potentially add something under my clothes but Iām not sure if sheāll check.
[Rant/Rave] Iām working 12 hours today and Iām excited...
/u/fatyoyo
Created: Thu Mar 8 06:33:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82xhx7/im_working_12_hours_today_and_im_excited/
---
My department has a community outreach session today, so Iāll be working 8:00AM - 8:00PM. Which is awesome, because by the time I get home Iāll just want to pass out. So I wonāt have a chance to drink the 6-8 beers that I drink every day. Which means I can actually EAT those calories. Like have a treat. And I was so excited about that, because usually donāt eat after 1:00PM to save my calories for alcohol. But then I was like, I can STILL skip dinner, and then Iāll finally have a sub 500 calorie day and maybe my fat drunk ass can finally make some progress. Unless thereās donuts or something at this event. Fuck, I hope thereās not donuts.
[Discussion] March 8th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 06:12:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82xdax/march_8th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What was the last song you listened to?
āYoung and Unafraidā by the Moth & the Flame ā¤ļø
āGo to the gym!ā
/u/HistrionicSlut
Created: Thu Mar 8 05:30:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82x4jw/go_to_the_gym/
---
Thatās the first thing my doctor told me when I saw him for a fucking kidney infection today. Then I told him about my almost dying twice, severe knee arthritis and multiple surgeries on my abdomen. His look seemed to say ādear god donāt go to the gym you will dieā and instead of not working out and resting after my HUGE body issues, I want to go work out. And Iāve been binging hard lately. Either I eat nothing for days or everything for weeks. Itās so fucked up and I just this whole thing would just kill me already. I know Iāve damaged my body with my severe weight fluctuations and I really donāt care. My brain keeps saying āleave a beautiful corpseā. And thatās super fucked yo.
Edit: mods please flair as advice! Am on mobile oops!
[Rant/Rave] 2018 is going to be my year!
/u/spliceme [5'6" | GW: 125 | CW: lol | 25F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 05:17:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82x1x1/2018_is_going_to_be_my_year/
---
It seemed that way, right? Blue skies, new year's resolutions. You unsubcribe from all the ED subreddits and leave the discord group. You start to forgive yourself for overeating and you exercise in the mornings. You lose 10lbs the healthy way for the first time in years. Only purged twice in 2 months. Yes, 2018 is your year for beating a 10-year struggle with bulimia.
Then you go to a meeting abroad for work and at the end of the 2-day long, stressful event, some drunk client starts groping you in front of everyone - all of the clients. You're so shocked you do nothing. Plus, can we even yell at a client anyway? This is the most important account for your company. They all see it. One client even texts your colleague to say how awkward it is. You're being humiliated and everyone is watching, doing nothing.
Your colleague has to rescue you when he doesn't stop after an hour or so. Nobody apologies to you for his behaviour the next day. He sits next to you at the next day's meeting and tells you you're beautiful. You want to scream the building down. You cry all the way home in the taxi from the airport.
You're so angry you spend the next week bingeing and purging because that's all you know how to do when you feel helpless in the world. You go back down the fucking rabbit hole.
Hi again everyone :(
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support March 08, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 8 05:11:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82x0s6/weekly_emotional_support_march_08_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 08, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 8 05:10:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82x0hp/daily_food_diary_march_08_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 08, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Goal] Another half-inch off my waist!
/u/letthetemptingbegin [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 23.68 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Thu Mar 8 04:36:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82wuj8/another_halfinch_off_my_waist/
---
https://i.redd.it/fhwe1w3wyik01.jpg
[Discussion] Am I the only one who REALLY HATES body positive community ?
/u/IHateBloodElves [5'3" | 136 | 25 | -38 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 04:20:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ws0d/am_i_the_only_one_who_really_hates_body_positive/
---
Hi Redditors,
I guess the body positive community was, at first (and only at first) sending the message that bodies with a healthy BMI was acceptable and "good-looking", but now all we see in most of these blogs are from overweight to morbidly obese women ? Like they dare compare themselves to people who lost a leg, gurl you somehow ate yourself to death. You somehow chose it.
[Other] I took a laxative 8 hours ago.
/u/ayybih
Created: Thu Mar 8 04:20:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82wryv/i_took_a_laxative_8_hours_ago/
---
[removed]
[Tip] Reminder to CHEW YOUR FOOD! It helps with binging/indigestion/fullness
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Thu Mar 8 03:43:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82wlt7/reminder_to_chew_your_food_it_helps_with/
---
If you are going to binge, chew very very slowly. It prevents tummy aches, aids digestion and makes you feel fuller. If you're going to binge for the sake of yummy yummy food. ENJOY and CHERISH the food, guys, I think chewing slowly helped my binge eating the most. It made me appreciate food more and made me stop before I was way way way too full.
anyway xoxo
[Rant/Rave] Cycle of attempting recovery and freaking out
/u/astr4lproject [5'8 | 113 | 17.00 ]
Created: Thu Mar 8 03:39:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82wl6q/cycle_of_attempting_recovery_and_freaking_out/
---
Just a rant I think but if anyone has any advice I'm all ears.
I'm really torn between wanting to lose and wanting to "recover", I am so fucking sick of food controlling my life and feeling like shit. However every time I go ahead and eat at maintenance/close to maintenance I immediately gain like 3 pounds. It fucks with my head so bad and I freak out and immediately start restricting again.
I kept trying to pick a safe weight where I would feel ok to gain a few pounds from but every time I get there I don't feel ok with going back up again. Like I thought maybe 8 stone 3 would be ok but after getting there I felt like 8 stone 1 would be a better safe weight. But now I really want to see the 7s and every time I try to recover I go up to like 8 stone 5 in days and it feels like I ruined everything and I have to get rid of the weight asap.
I'm stuck in a cycle of eat "normally" -> gain several pounds in days -> freak out and restrict. And i just don't know how to get out of it.
[Other] Did tumblr just delete its pro ana community?
/u/Atsugaruru [4"10 | GW: 120 | CW : 134 | UGW: 110 | 19F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 02:49:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82wcym/did_tumblr_just_delete_its_pro_ana_community/
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[removed]
[Other] Eternally Empty, a poem by Willow-Avery
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Mar 8 02:00:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82w5eb/eternally_empty_a_poem_by_willowavery/
---
on mobile flair as other please.
Every bite would be the last bite until it wasn't. another then another until the earth became heavier with me.
submitting to the voiceless compulsion, the panicked tick in my mind like that of a broken clock is sporadic and unpredictable. Will this be a good day or another day?
everything is back and white until I taste. color fills the voids of my visual perception but it fleets like, disappearing in moments like it never existed.
I gather my mind to rid myself of all that is, all that will be, all that could be that I don't want. I harm. I hurt. I never learn. I continue.
there is no finish line and the spectators are imaginary. I'm performing what no one wants to see that no should. my stage is a dirty tiled floor in every bathroom, I know the number of tiles, stalls, the color of the walls.
my theater is outside, pretending to be a functioning member of society while crumbling beneath weight I'd sell my soul to part with eternally. I smile but my eyes are vacant. I laugh but the joke isn't funny. I sleep but there is no rest.
my body a wasteland inside, weak lungs, poor joints, aches and pains no one my age should know. scars that never completely heal, a mouth that is an open border to all things coming and going. vice and otherwise. food and lies.
I never be satisfied at end of the meal, the meal doesn't exist. a bite is the first but never the last. a compulsion is satisfied. I crumble. I collapse. I continue. I am never full because I am eternally empty.
edit: yeah I know it sucks because I haven't been sleeping and I'm spacey and just can't sleep. I am not glorifying any thing or proud of any of this. it's garbage but I thought maybe someone would like it but apparently not.
w.
[Rant/Rave] Got into a small argument with my mom about her 'diet'
/u/hawaiianhaole01 [5'6 | 120.2 | 19.1 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 8 01:56:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82w4s0/got_into_a_small_argument_with_my_mom_about_her/
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My parents are both overweight and have been 'trying' to lose weight. My dad got the nutrisystem diet box things to try and convinced my mom to do it with him. Great, eating less is great, try whatever.
My mother today said that my father isn't eating enough and that it's going to throw off his metabolism and he'll enter starvation mode. Lol. I told her that's not a real thing and that my dad could not eat for a week and be completely fine. She didn't like that answer and didn't continue the convo.
THEN! She was showing me what she was supposed to eat for bfast tomorrow and said that it was too much sugar and how was she supposed to maintain a diet when she's still eating sugar. I pointed out that it's only 160 kcals for the meal and she will definitely lose weight if that's the only thing she ate. But she kept going on about how it's not helping her get off sugar (which I know isn't a good thing and has potential to make you hungrier later but that wasn't her point) and that when she's done on the diet she's going to gain it all back because of the sugar.
I make chocolate for a living. I literally eat sugar all day long. And yet I can lose and/or maintain my weight. I told her it wasn't about sugar but that it was about calories and that you can lose weight by only eating chocolate, if you eat less calories than your TDEE, but she's convinced that I'm wrong. Apparently counting calories isn't a thing anymore and that any amount of sugar will make you instantly fat.
[Other] Quick doodle
/u/ThatBoi1999
Created: Thu Mar 8 01:46:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82w351/quick_doodle/
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https://i.redd.it/uwbqkuvy5ik01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I am not well (a pitentionally long post)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Mar 8 01:07:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82vwxc/i_am_not_well_a_pitentionally_long_post/
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on mobile please flair as rant/rave
I survived brunch with probably 500 to 600 calories and didn't eat much else of any thing. I had three egg whites with some veggies, half a pancake without syrup and a small mimosa. I eat the least of my friends I feel like. my friend B had scrambled eggs, a pancake and veggie sausage and my other friend H had some thing with sausage, a bagel with cream cheese, eggs. both of them had a mimosa.
afterwords I felt tires because I hadn't slept well in days and so we departed. they took Bs cat to a park and I just walked around taking my time getting home. I felt my boots pinched my foot so walking was really painful (sorry cute cowperson boots you aren't comfy). I logged all my food and tried to walk as much as I can but barely managed 10k steps.
when I got home I was exhausted and my feet were in a lot of pain from wearing uncomfortable boots. my stomach was bloated and heavy from the meal. I would not have anything else and told myself I'd fast tomorrow knowing my numbers for brunch could have been way off.
I passed out in my bed and woke up an hour ago it's still the same day. I'm in moderate pain and discomfort. I hate that a meal seemed to be so exhausting and that it was 'll I would have.
both my friends were cyclists so even a bit meal for them would be used as energy. neither of them are what I would consider fat or overweight. they talked about food a bit. they both had feminine athletic bodies. flatish tummies and strong legs and curves. proportionately feminine.
I woke this morning after the last few days of going out and getting most of my calories from alcohol with one small binge day of 1200 calorie a two to three days ago. my own face and body is confusing.
I looked gaunt. my eyes looked hollow. my skin more pale and juxtaposed to my other features. my face angular. I wore a long sleeve button up blouse with a slight cropped stripped tee and my stomach was invert and flat but I had fat on my lower back and not the little dips I wish I had. my legs looked lean but maybe only because of my skinny black pants and very slim boots. I hated how I looked.
I felt like a ghost on my way home. no words. no expression. numb. the restricting taking it's toll. I saw other bodies. all different from mine. I don't even know what I want anymore. I want to just eat all the time but food doesn't give me pleasure and mentally it's hard to get over the hurdle that I need food for "fuel" I don't feel like simply existing is a cause to consume food.
I don't know if my gw or ugw will make me happy. I have pretty much suspended my gw and just want to look as sick as possible so maybe someone will believe me when I say I am sick or May be people will actually care at some point. I set my sights on a dangerously low bmi because I know it's possible. I've seen smaller people at my height and I want to be like them.
I'm lying in bed watching youtube videos of people eating and trying to imagine what their food tastes like.
I paid my rent and part of my credit card bill but still owe 600 dollars on my balance. I have less than 100 bucks between my savings and checking so I can't afford binge food or any food at all for that matter. I couldn't afford brunch but I wanted to try and be social. I feel wasteful because the cost of the meal could have paid for a binge or actual groceries.
I just feel like a depressed puddle. I am physically uncomfortable and mentally exhausted from everything.
w.
[Other] So I went to the pharmacy scales machine.
/u/letthetemptingbegin [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 23.68 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Thu Mar 8 00:35:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82vruz/so_i_went_to_the_pharmacy_scales_machine/
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I'd stopped trusting my own scales. I was of two minds about going to the pharmacy scales, but as I was passing by the big pharmacy anyway I thought it couldn't hurt. I didn't want to cry in public, but I rarely cry, I just feel shit and scowl. And if I had to cry, I could have held it back until I was somewhere private.
Turns out I'm 4lbs lighter and an inch taller than I thought I was. I felt like laughing like crazy. I am so glad I did that.
what I ate today (3.7)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 8 00:30:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82vr3b/what_i_ate_today_37/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Bulimia can suck it.
/u/HighNoonImDad [5'10 | CW: 169 | ā]
Created: Thu Mar 8 00:00:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82vm8v/bulimia_can_suck_it/
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on mobile, can you tag this rant/rave
I just learned that after two years of avoiding it, my mom has made an appointment for me to go to the dentist tomorrow. Literally the only thing that's happened in the past two years is I've started purging... a lot more than before. And while I've been doing better the past week or so, I literally can't sleep because I'm so paranoid they'll just know I'm bulimic.
Which is stupid, because I LITERALLY am diagnosed with bulimia. Its not like its a secret that they may tell my mom. Everyone knows. When we play cards against humanity they save the binge/purge card for me. It's so obvious to everyone that its a joke.
But I don't want them to tell me I'm destroying my mouth because then the side effects and dangers become even more real.
IDK. Huge rant.
On the other hand, I'm hoping to become more active in this community in the next few weeks/months. I'm trying to kick Bulimia honestly I need yall! š
š
[Other] As much as I love crust punk/ other types of hippie shit, I canāt get behind the blind body positivity
/u/blood-n-caffiene
Created: Wed Mar 7 22:29:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82v5my/as_much_as_i_love_crust_punk_other_types_of/
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Yeah, I find it hard to be like āyeah, fuck what the media says we should look likeā, but also, I want some kinda control over my body. I know thereās that type of subject matter in punk, because nothingās off limits in that genre, but I really donāt like the glorification of obviously overweight bodies. Donāt wanna come off as fat-shaming, but yeah, letās just call a spade a spade without offending each other. If anything, this is the one place where we can call that shit out on.
[Rant/Rave] For ginger ale, this is the diet GOAT
/u/blood-n-caffiene
Created: Wed Mar 7 21:51:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82uyct/for_ginger_ale_this_is_the_diet_goat/
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https://i.redd.it/jxkngrq10hk01.jpg
[Other] pet peeve: ignorance
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 21:30:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82uucm/pet_peeve_ignorance/
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https://i.redd.it/3dt5z0xcwgk01.png
[Other] pet peeve: ignorance
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 7 21:27:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82utn3/pet_peeve_ignorance/
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https://i.redd.it/b1s3w65pvgk01.png
[Tip] Anyone else love skincare/face masks? :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 7 20:46:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ukue/anyone_else_love_skincareface_masks/
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https://i.redd.it/kb3y9heaogk01.jpg
[Discussion] not being able to give up beer
/u/jaclynct
Created: Wed Mar 7 20:13:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82udcb/not_being_able_to_give_up_beer/
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iāve seen other posts talking about alcohol but i wanted to post about my experience. i love beer. i love the way it tastes and itās one of those foods that i just cannot give up. i will avoid meals just so i can drink beer daily. i feel like my calories are only coming from the beer. am i the only one?
Really? @ that ad
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 7 19:12:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82tzid/really_that_ad/
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http://imgur.com/1nNWBVt
[Help] what weight would be best for me? i'm thinking 125-130...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 7 19:08:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82tyo3/what_weight_would_be_best_for_me_im_thinking/
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https://imgur.com/a/46vfS
[Discussion] Fave iherb products
/u/ithrewthisaway__
Created: Wed Mar 7 19:07:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82tyc8/fave_iherb_products/
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Hey y'all! I'm wanting to make an order off iherb and wanted to know what some of your fave items are. Any recommendations for low-cal (preferably vegan) foods/snacks, teas, caffeine pills, fat burners, and anything else would be highly appreciated.
Thanks gals/guys :))
I feel so ugly
/u/wowzersman
Created: Wed Mar 7 19:04:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82txoe/i_feel_so_ugly/
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Every single guy I'm trying to go after is rejecting me. He comes up with some bs excuse saying hey it's me not you. And if a guy is interested? Just sex.
I hate being fat. I want to be beautiful. I know I have a pretty face... it's just... my body. Why am I such a piece of shit?
[Help] weight loss tips to lose 140+ lbs?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 7 19:00:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82twty/weight_loss_tips_to_lose_140_lbs/
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[deleted]
[Tip] Low cal chocolate cookies or substitute?
/u/appletreejuice [5'2 | CW 127 | GW 105 | LW 104 | 22F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 18:59:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82twj7/low_cal_chocolate_cookies_or_substitute/
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I'm craving chocolate chip cookies like a bitch right now because it's that time of the month. Does anyone have any suggestions on what kind of mix to buy or any substitutes to use?
[Other] Just convinced my mom to buy me a scale
/u/Strfless
Created: Wed Mar 7 18:49:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82tu9o/just_convinced_my_mom_to_buy_me_a_scale/
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A little backstory: Iām 21, moved across the country to live with my mom after being on my own for two years. Iām too depressed/etc to get a job which is why I had to ask my mom to buy me a scale. I started restricting again about a month ago and she still hasnāt noticed. Iām half convinced she has an ED too so I donāt really think sheād care if she knew anyway. I was still super nervous to ask tho but she said to find one that I liked/wouldnāt break the bank and sheād buy it !! Fuck yeah !!
[Rant/Rave] uggggggggh i hate life rn
/u/lesjonquilles [5'6 | 117.8 | GW 102]
Created: Wed Mar 7 18:47:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ttxu/uggggggggh_i_hate_life_rn/
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So I've been eating high restriction for the past few days trying to break out of a binge cycle... so about 700 calories under my TDEE. Well I thought I'd at least lose like 1 pound and a half..
guess what I weighed in as today
FUCKING 117.8
[Discussion] I had to have two giant cavities filled today....
/u/invisibone [5'5" | CAN MUSCLE REALLY WEIGH THAT MUCH MORE| F |]
Created: Wed Mar 7 18:39:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ts39/i_had_to_have_two_giant_cavities_filled_today/
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Tell me your horror stories, tell me your successes, tell me I won't have to kill myself if I lose my original teeth ššš
I feel snobby saying this, but there is no magic secret to losing weight so please stop asking me.
/u/NotStephany [5'5| 193 | 32.49 | -101lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 17:46:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82tg5r/i_feel_snobby_saying_this_but_there_is_no_magic/
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I've lost a noticeable amount of weight (50% of my weight loss I'm willing to attribute to my ED, but irrelevant lol).
Anyway, I'm asked all the time "how did you do it?", "whats the secret".
THERE IS NO SECRET. It *literally* boils down to eating right and exercise. People always claim they're "trying" but their not, but they want to bitch and moan to me that they there are uncomfortable with being overweight.
I'll give people that answer and... it's not *good enough* like they want some magical cure that's going to help them lose 25lbs by tomorrow, and that's not how it works. That not how anything works. You want to get better you WORK towards it. Not just in weight loss, in ANYTHING you want to achieve in life.
The best healthiest way I put it is: "no junk food, at least 30 minutes of exercise a day, only water, try it for a week and see how you feel". 99% of the time they say "oh I cant do that, I love [extremley fattening food] too much to give it up " or "I don't want to do all that exercise". Okay so then whats the point of asking me? I just told you the exact formula for weight loss and you "don't want to do it".
Or people say "I would do anything for that body" (no one has ever said that to me, but I see that a lot of like photos of models or celebrities photos lol). I JUST TOLD YOU HOW TO GET THE BODY YOU WANT, and if you don't want to do it, clearly you wouldn't do **anything** for it.
I feel like sound like a bitch but I'm just tired of that fucking question.
At my wits end
/u/acupofhotwater [5'2" | CW fat GW127 | UGW120 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 17:24:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82taz1/at_my_wits_end/
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This might be rambly. I apologize in advance. I recently got a new sewing machine after using an old sorta broken one for the past 20+ years. I was super excited at the idea of making my own clothes until size charts came into play. The size charts for these patterns are all the fuck over the place you guys. But guess what? Iām fat on all of them. I had to check my measurements to be sure of what sizes to cut and my waist is 35 inches!! (Iām short waisted and at my lowest weight my waist is still rather big at 28 or 29 inches) Iām a large or extra large in commercial patterns and the indie ones Iāve bought. Iām so upset over this. Itās stupid I know. I just want to stop eating altogether until Iām not fat anymore but I donāt have the will power and that makes me feel even more shit.
Please tag as rant Iām on mobile.
[Rant/Rave] Iām going crazy
/u/AnnahxD [5'9" | CW147 | 21.32 | GW127 | F21]
Created: Wed Mar 7 16:52:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82t2zn/im_going_crazy/
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The more weight I lose the fatter I feel. I constantly stare at myself in the mirror and nitpick at everything I hate. I hate catching my reflection now a days, it pretty much ruins my whole day. I hate being like this. And itās not easy when everyone keeps telling me Iām too āthinā already when Iām not at all. I canāt even talk about weight loss/calories/working out without someone commenting that. Iām not too thin!!! Yāall are just used to all the fat people around you. 69 inches & 147lbs is not thin. I hate this.
250 cal aƧaĆ bowl!?!
/u/sweetnsaltyy
Created: Wed Mar 7 16:40:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82t07p/250_cal_aƧaĆ_bowl/
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According to the cafeās nutritional info.... seems too good to be true to me š¤
Itās a fairly large bowl with bananas, strawberries, granola, and honey.
Has anyone ever counted an aƧaĆ bowl that they made themselves? Does 250 cals sound legit to you guys??
[Rant/Rave] I always feel like im relapsing into recovery
/u/eighttorches
Created: Wed Mar 7 16:33:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82syix/i_always_feel_like_im_relapsing_into_recovery/
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I can't go to the doctor without relapsing after being weighed,,, i made it so far this time too :(( I've gained 20 lbs in the past month I'm not even sure how it's possible. Does anyone else ever feel like theyre in shock or denial after they really realize how much they change after "recovering"? Im not coping well.
Eating out at restaurants
/u/warmbagel53
Created: Wed Mar 7 16:10:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82sso3/eating_out_at_restaurants/
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So my family is going on a vacation to Florida next week and I'm already having a mental breakdown about how many times we will be going out to eat. The worst part of it all is that the majority of the time it will be a last minute decision as to where we will go and I will not have any time to look up the menu/calorie counts (if there even is any) beforehand. Does anyone have any experience/advice for these types of situations? It's already bad enough that I won't be able to exercise for the entire week that I am there
[Rant/Rave] New holy grail
/u/kaelidoscope [5'0 | CW 100.8 | GW: 90 | 20.73 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 16:04:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82sr4i/new_holy_grail/
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Noodles are the love of my life. Unfortunately it's pretty calorie dense and shirataki noodles make me want to cry so I was suffering for a while. Until today! Thai Kitchen rice noodle soup is only 170 calories per pack, very yummy, and super filling. The package looks pretty small but the rice noodles really expand when they absorb water. I got the garlic and vegetable flavour and topped it with some sirracha and it was a great dinner, next time I'll probably add some tofu and veggies. Not sure if you guys have already tried it but I would definitely recommend.
[Discussion] Doctors scale vs home scale?
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"|SW:252|CW:227| GW:112| HW:294| 27F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 15:53:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82so8g/doctors_scale_vs_home_scale/
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I went to the doctors today for some prescription refills and weighed myself while she was on the computer and her scale says I'm SEVEN POUNDS lighter than my scale at home!! I weigh myself every morning but only record into MFP on Fridays so I had already weighed myself AND weighed in again when I got home. Same thing. Her scale is in KG's and mine is in Stones and pounds (UK). Any opinions? I'm not sure how to take this....news?
[Rant/Rave] I fit into an XS for the first time in my life
/u/myrtlewils0n [cw:119 ā¾ gw1:115 ā¾ ugw:107]
Created: Wed Mar 7 15:50:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82snc5/i_fit_into_an_xs_for_the_first_time_in_my_life/
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Not sure if itās vanity sizing or what, but it feels good. My boyfriend and I are spring breaking in New Orleans and he bought me a retro-style skull print dress as a surprise for a jazz club weāre going dancing at tonight. Initially freaked out at the tag: he convinced me to try it on and HOLY SHIT!
Not only does it fit, itās also a little loose on me. AND this is after two days of somewhat panicking and not being able to track accurately because weāve been eating out soul and Cajun food every night.
(Side note: this is the smallest Iāve been since roughly freshman year of high school š©š)
[Help] i'm tired of the plus size stigma.
/u/garfieldfangirl
Created: Wed Mar 7 15:46:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82sm93/im_tired_of_the_plus_size_stigma/
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being plus size isn't empowering. being a 20 in clothing sizes feels like a death trap. a death sentence. i hate my body and i hate being obese.
i just need support so that i don't binge again. i need help that i can get to 130. life sucks.
[Discussion] Part of the reason I'mt not interested in recovery...
/u/Kitten_in_a_teacup [5'5" | -54lb | F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 15:40:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82skjd/part_of_the_reason_imt_not_interested_in_recovery/
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...I find the recovery community to be really unbearable. I know I'm an asshole but if I see another shitty NEDA tattoo or a hashtag like #eatittobeatit I am gonna scream. Don't even get me started on people who personify their illness and talk about it like some kind of demon (Ed, Eddy). Dae or am I just bitter? :|
As an atheist I am really put off by the number of pro Christian recovery options too. Seems like some people are being scammed in the name of religion and/or not being treated with evidence based methods...
[Rant/Rave] Purged for the first time ever
/u/Tahylika
Created: Wed Mar 7 15:18:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82seh8/purged_for_the_first_time_ever/
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For the last couple of years I've been in a restrict/binge phase, making my weight not go up but not down either. I've always wanted to purge because I've felt terribly awful after almost all of my binges, but I've just not been able to (I thought..). Some weeks ago I was at a party, drank too much and threw up. I still felt ill so I put my fingers far down my throat and everything just came out after a few downers- easy peasy. Today i had done pretty good eating-wise, but was forced to eat dinner because of my mom. After that I went into fucking retard mode and ate ben and jerrys, cookies and candy. So i threw it all up, in the same way I did at the party. And I have no clue what to feel right now. Obviously I'm happy because the food is gone, however I also feel very.. disappointed. I just wish this doesn't become something I do regularily cause I'm feeling so fucking bad right now in so many ways. Although i guess it's good to have a back up plan if I fuck up but really, I just never wanna eat again.
edit: no flair
[Help] Any advice for a gal wanting to maybe try out protein powder?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 7 15:02:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82s9ru/any_advice_for_a_gal_wanting_to_maybe_try_out/
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[deleted]
[Help] I dont know if im allowed to ask this
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Wed Mar 7 14:47:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82s58y/i_dont_know_if_im_allowed_to_ask_this/
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But someone made a wallpaper for their phone during the holidays and it had mistletoe and said stay hungry (which could be interpreted in many ways, such as hungry for success etc). I feel like its a good luck charm for me due to superstitious belief lol. I was wondering if someone could make a spring/summer one with the same words? I dont know how to but it would be really cool if someone could! Thanks š
[Tip] Protip: Set your autocorrect to change "eat" to "fast".
/u/PM_ME_YOUR_RIBS_
Created: Wed Mar 7 14:38:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82s2wv/protip_set_your_autocorrect_to_change_eat_to_fast/
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My phone did this to me today and I chuckled š
[Help] Meal routines
/u/SensiblePizza
Created: Wed Mar 7 14:35:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82s1x2/meal_routines/
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Hi guys.
I wonder if any of you would care to share how you plan your food intake for the day? For example, I have some arbitrary rules that I stick to and some very set meals that mean I don't spend hours putting different combinations into MFP:
(1)Total calories 1400 maximum per day.
(2)No meals will ever reach or exceed 300 calories.
(3)5 small meals during work hours, 2 after work.
(4)No food earlier than 9am
(5)Try to have at least 90 minutes between each meal.
(6)I can't eat fruit unless it's with high protein yogurt such as skyr or strained Greek yogurt.
(7)Aiming for 35% protein, 20% fat and 45% carbs for daily macros.
(8)Always exercise a minimum of 5k on the treadmill, ideally before work.
I also have the exact same food every day, and I spend SO many hours looking for low calorie foods and meals when I go to the supermarket but these seem to be the best combination of meals that fill me up and give me enough variety.
(1)3 corncakes with 2 cream cheese triangles and 6 slices wafer thin ham + jalapenos.
(2)40g bran flakes with 75ml skimmed milk
(3) 300ml Sweet potato and bean soup with 50g soy mince.
(4)100g frozen raspberries and 150g skyr.
(5) 27g high protein porridge mix with 10g protein powder and 150g fresh strawberries.
(6)100g frozen fish, 50g frozen prawns, 80g frozen mash potato and 50g broccoli (worst ever DIY fish pie basically)
(7)dessert- half a pot of Vanilla Bean halo top with a couple of strawberries OR 2 mini milk ice cream lollies and some salted popcorn
Any meal or snack ideas would be greatly appreciated !!!
[Other] *extreme restricting ensues*
/u/hypothermi_a
Created: Wed Mar 7 14:33:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82s1cm/extreme_restricting_ensues/
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https://i.redd.it/o7fulxnvtek01.jpg
[Discussion] 1kg from GW2 so of course I gotta self sabotage
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 14:31:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82s0xv/1kg_from_gw2_so_of_course_i_gotta_self_sabotage/
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I'm 1kg away from 75kg, a.k.a my second GW.
So naturally I eat a whole pizza šš¾šš¾
I think if I stopped hating myself I would feel incomplete.
[Rant/Rave] Letting roommate drama fuel the fire
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 123lbs | 19.2 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 14:18:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82rxba/letting_roommate_drama_fuel_the_fire/
---
Anybody else turn stress at home into ED-fuel?
Like, my worst ED periods almost always come with roommate drama. I feel like I maintain (while hating myself lol) when things are relatively chill, but if there's ~a thing~ I can't handle it and stop eating.
I hate going to the kitchen, especially? Like, if they can observe me going to the kitchen and consuming food I hate hate hate that. Like, it's a competition that I'm losing? or even that my enemy witnesses my weakness?
sooooooo to provide current context for these thoughts [and warning, I'm a bad person ahead], my one roommate stopped paying rent, stopped going to his job (most of the household works for that same employer so he's fucking us over there too). He's been stealing - and especially mine and my boyfriend's food, since we're the only ones who share and are therefore less likely to notice a theft. Oh, and you better not leave alcohol around. His room smells so bad it leaks into the hall, and the rooms on either side.
I'm so done with this individual. I stuck out my neck for him too many times, and I feel betrayed. He's the only one not on the lease and I want him gone. I want to yell at him forever. But I am so, so, so afraid of men with anger issues (even though I am 99% sure I could take him in a fight because I'm in great shape and he's a fat slob who keeps fucking up his joints by thinking he's in great shape and trying to do ambitious things.)
Oh yeah, some of my feelings are derived from my perceived moral superiority. I'm not a piece of shit who drinks and snorts away his paycheque, can't pay rent, can't face up, lies to and steals from his friends. I'm not like 100lbs overweight and stealing food from my friends who are borderline underweight. I am pure and clean and full of righteous indignation. As long as I don't eat. If I eat, I debase myself to being that much closer to his level.
Anyway, those are my f'ed up ED thoughts today, as I silently seethe at his door across the hall and wish that I had the balls to actually call him out on his shit.
Can anyone relate?
[Help] Going to America this summer!
/u/phyiscis
Created: Wed Mar 7 13:49:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82rolx/going_to_america_this_summer/
---
The thing Iām most excited about is all the diet products that are available there, any suggestions?
[Discussion] Fasting and Bored
/u/PermanentHysteria
Created: Wed Mar 7 13:45:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82rnfa/fasting_and_bored/
---
So I'm 63 hours into what I'm hoping will be a 120 hour fast and I feel great and I'm not hungry but ohmygod I. Am. So. Bored.
What do you do to distract yourself? I'm also losing focus at work because I'm literally just waiting for the next two days to pass quickly and I swear, time has never moved slower.
[Help] Anyone else have odd stomach movement during c/s or binging?
/u/manateens [5'4 20F | 150 / UGW 98 | BMI27]
Created: Wed Mar 7 13:29:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82rirm/anyone_else_have_odd_stomach_movement_during_cs/
---
Like in the lowest part of my abdomen it gurgles the whole time I c/s . Not exactly painful, but definitely uncomfortable. just curious if anyone knows what this is <3
[Help] Advice for athletic training?
/u/fairyspice [5'3" | 112 | 19.8 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 13:20:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82rfq3/advice_for_athletic_training/
---
I'm currently training for a marathon but in a really bad place with my eating where I literally don't have any safe foods anymore. I can't eat more than a few bites of anything without getting panicky or feeling like there's a rock in my stomach. It's fucking my energy levels and idk what to do. Has anyone else done intense athletic training while restricting / eating a limited diet? Any advice on foods you ate or baseline calorie needs would be greatly appreciated. I've committed to running this and I can't back out, but idk if I'll physically be able to at this rate.
[Other] There's free chocolate fudge and cookies in the room I'm in
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: whale | 22F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 13:12:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82rdho/theres_free_chocolate_fudge_and_cookies_in_the/
---
And the only reason I'm not devouring any of it is because there's an obese woman eating lunch in the same room and I don't want to end up looking like her.
I am a horrible, horrible person.
[Rant/Rave] Baby food appreciation post
/u/MightyMuskrats [š5'2 | š | GW 115 | -17 | 22Fš]
Created: Wed Mar 7 12:54:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82r810/baby_food_appreciation_post/
---
Y'all. Gerber baby snacks. Happy baby yogis. Those weird little puff things. My life has been CHANGED today. I've got this giant fucking BAGGIE of snacks to much on during class and it's 80 cals total. Just, I'm impressed.
EC(A) stack on ADHD meds?
/u/normopathy
Created: Wed Mar 7 12:18:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qxld/eca_stack_on_adhd_meds/
---
[removed]
[Help] Can you help me do the math? Iām stupid.
/u/Wander3 [Height: 162cm | CW: 38.1kg | BMI: 14.52]
Created: Wed Mar 7 12:13:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qw0y/can_you_help_me_do_the_math_im_stupid/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Long lasting energy foods?
/u/Roseemacculate02
Created: Wed Mar 7 12:02:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qsse/long_lasting_energy_foods/
---
I've recently picked up more shifts at work and I just can't restrict my food like I use to. I need to go grocery shopping and was wondering if there is any foods you guys like for staying full and having energy but still low cal
[Rant/Rave] Wanted to fast today to break my binge cycle but find myself bargaining with myself that a sub 500 cal day is still a win.
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 298.4 | Goal: 270 | 46.7 | 0 | F ]
Created: Wed Mar 7 12:01:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qsdo/wanted_to_fast_today_to_break_my_binge_cycle_but/
---
[removed]
[Help] Questions regarding going inpatient?
/u/arandomnamebcimlazy [5ā6|CW:129|BMI:20.8|-97|Female|]
Created: Wed Mar 7 12:00:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qs3c/questions_regarding_going_inpatient/
---
Iāve been stuck in the hospital for close to two weeks due to a very close to death heart rate. In like three hours, there is a huge chance that I may go inpatient. Is there anything I should know, just in case I do get sent?
[Rant/Rave] When you're trying to read an ED book to get triggered but you get a reality check instead
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Wed Mar 7 11:53:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qpxr/when_youre_trying_to_read_an_ed_book_to_get/
---
Was reading Safety in Numbers by Brittany Burgunder and got hit with this line
"Using my eating disorder was a way to avoid any responsibility for myself. It was a built-in defense. I was so terrified to give 100 percent and fail that I figured it was better just to never know."
Damn Brit, what am I gonna hide behind now??
[Discussion] Numb Hands/ Feet - anyone else?
/u/JuliaRobertssTeeth
Created: Wed Mar 7 11:40:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qmc8/numb_hands_feet_anyone_else/
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Sorry guys and gals donāt really know where else to ask. Iāve been experiencing numbness in my hands and feet randomly. They also go to sleep very very quickly if I put pressure on them. Googling says itās diabetes or nerve damage. Is that true or do you all have it too? šš
[Rant/Rave] Good news!!!!
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword
Created: Wed Mar 7 11:36:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ql3h/good_news/
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I finally got placed into a long term job in the army and I am in control of my schedule more or less now and I can skip meals and drink coffee and tea and Iām involved with dogs so Iāll be doing a lot of movement.
Plus thereās a pool and a gym on my base.
I finally can be in control :)
Iām going to come up with a meal plan/workout plan over the weekend!!!! So excited!!!!
[Discussion] wholesome Wednesday discussion!
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Mar 7 11:34:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qki2/wholesome_wednesday_discussion/
---
on mobile flair as discussion.
I always enjoy these wholesome positive threads so here I am trying to do one.
what is one nice thing you will do for yourself?
what are you proud of (ED related or not or both)?
what are you looking foreword to? could be today or this week?
[Rant/Rave] Meeting my Girlfriendās Best Friend
/u/louloulouise
Created: Wed Mar 7 11:30:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qj86/meeting_my_girlfriends_best_friend/
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So I recently started dating this girl. Sheās super cute, and basically perfect.
Sheās a runner, and Iāve been doing really well not being triggered by the fact she has a perfect body and eats literally everything in sight.
This weekend, sheās introducing me to her best friend whoās coming down for the weekend. I stalked the girl on Facebook and she is my literal goals.
Sheās a ballet dancer and has the perfect ballerina body. As a struggling dancer and contortionist- she is everything I want to be. Plus, she and my gf used to sleep together which makes me super insecure.
How do I interact with this literal goddess of a woman without getting triggered as fuck?
MAJOR win at a grocery store field trip today!!!
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 110.0 | 20.84 | -10 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 11:28:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qika/major_win_at_a_grocery_store_field_trip_today/
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Major win at the grocery store just now. I had to go there as a field trip for my nutrition class, and they gave us each a $2 coupon, and told us to pick out something. I was so tempted to go after the vegan cookie dough, but I'd already had cereal, PBFit, and fruit for breakfast, and I've already planned out and 840-calorie day, which is still pretty high but it at least meets my protein macros. And I knew if I bought the cookie dough, which was 140 calories per 2-bite serving, I'd probably have 2 or even 3 servings. Nope. Not letting myself do that. So I refused the cookie dough-- and everything else with calories-- in favor of calorie-free, Stevia-sweetened soda, which I drank after the piece of gum I had already planned to have.
Immediately after I get in the building, they're having a freaking food sale to raise money for some student organization, and they asked me if I wanted some. Of course I wanted some. I was inexplicably hungry after having had breakfast in the morning for once. But I again said no. I'm so, so proud of my self-control... though, of course, I am ashamed of myself for wanting the cookie dough at all.
[Discussion] Running while not eating enough
/u/Rei1936
Created: Wed Mar 7 11:21:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qgp1/running_while_not_eating_enough/
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Any runners on here with daily intake <1000 and/or doing OMAD (one meal a day)? I've cut my intake severely to <1000, eating only at lunchtime. However I go running in the morning twice a week as I'm training for a half marathon and my mileage is now 4.5 miles each run. My long runs are on the weekend when I eat somewhat normally so I'm not too concerned about that, but I am a little worried about the weekday runs when I'm running on empty for 18hr. I guess this is somewhat of a rant, but would like to know if anyone has a similar experience (doesn't have to be running, just some sort of cardio).
[Discussion] does being at a lower weight feel really precarious to anyone else?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | "maintaining" | 22f]
Created: Wed Mar 7 11:07:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qci7/does_being_at_a_lower_weight_feel_really/
---
does anyone else just feel overwhelming anxiety at maintaining and fear that eating *one* meal over your tdee will make you suddenly gain 5 irresolvable pounds? like obviously intense fear of gaining weight is...part of this fucked up illness. but for those of us who've either hit a goal weight, started at a lower weight, or had slight fluctuations within a lower weight rangeādoes it feel like you're barely holding on and anything even slightly above maintenance will mean gaining a ridiculous amount? it's so stressful.
[Other] This showerthought that none of us can relate to
/u/zachbrownies
Created: Wed Mar 7 11:02:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qazr/this_showerthought_that_none_of_us_can_relate_to/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/82lizp/you_know_youre_in_adulthood_when_you_can_buy/
[Discussion] Has anyone ever been denied bronkaid?
/u/sweetnsaltyy
Created: Wed Mar 7 11:00:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82qa8r/has_anyone_ever_been_denied_bronkaid/
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So I buy bronkaid or primatene (if theyāre out of bronkaid) fairly regularly... probably about once per month. I know youāre only legally allowed to buy so much, so does anyone know how much you have to buy before they deny you? Also, can the person at the pharmacy see how often youāve bought it? I donāt want to be pegged as a meth head guys š
[Help] EC stacking with a high caffeine tolerance?
/u/veravera2 [5ā3 | CW 108 | GW 92]
Created: Wed Mar 7 10:55:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82q8ws/ec_stacking_with_a_high_caffeine_tolerance/
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Can anyone else who has experience with EC stacking (aka taking Bronkaid and Caffeine) tell me if it works when you already have a caffeine tolerance?
I drink black coffee every morning because I like the taste. I have to drink a venti to āfeelā the effects. I also drink a ton of tea during the day. So my tolerance is huge. Iām not sure if taking Bronkaid will work so to speak.
Iām also not sure if I should take caffeine pills on top of coffee because I donāt want to raise my cortisol levels too high..... but I have an event this weekend so Iām trying to slim down as much as possible beforehand.
If anyone has a similar thing going on let me know!
[Rant/Rave] Birthday binge
/u/harpooncatz
Created: Wed Mar 7 10:52:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82q7xe/birthday_binge/
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Soooooo I've been trying to restrict lately... but anytime I set goals for myself I self sabotage. I was doing better when I just wasn't even thinking about it.
Today's my birthday. My friend left some kind of oreo cookie cake here and I ate like a quarter of it. I feel obese lol. I need to not eat until dinner, so here's to chugging water for the next 6 hours.
Happy fatass day to me!!
[Other] [other] LOL at my āconfidentā sister becoming super insecure and trying to sabotage my weight loss
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW:š| GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 10:34:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82q2my/other_lol_at_my_confident_sister_becoming_super/
---
That probably sounded mean. But my sister has forever been āthe skinny oneā with the great body. Iāve always been the ugly one and the last few years that title has been upgraded to The Ugly Fat One. And she knows it. Sheās one of those people who fishes for compliments about their body around me. She humble-brags about how she looks all the time. She relishes in me being fat and struggling with food because it makes her look better.
But Iāve lost weight over the past few months and itās now starting to become really noticeable to people. And my sister is becoming so fucking insecure itās amazing. She is so afraid Iām going to look better than her so sheās been trying to low key sabotage me. The formerly *āsuper-happy-with-her-body-Iām-so-healthyā* sister now has a sudden intense workout routine and wonāt eat carbs cuz she doesnāt need the extra calories but you go ahead sis!! Yeah sure. It honestly just gives me more motivation to keep losing.
The hilarious part is that Iām still overweight. Like, 18lbs overweight. And sheās already this insecure. Sheās gonna die when I get into the low 100ās lol.
[Discussion] Brunch Panic! how do you brunch?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Mar 7 10:31:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82q1lx/brunch_panic_how_do_you_brunch/
---
on mobile flair as help of discussion.
I committed to getting brunch with a friend I met a couple days ago today and don't know how long we will be out but I'm scared of it turning into a binge. I am really poor right now as all so I also feel bad buying full plates of food and not eating everything when I do go out. I thought about just ordering a few sides and drink but most brunch drinks are super super sweet and loaded with sugar?
I don't want to binge and I'm willing to let my restricting go up a little bit just today and I'll go lower tomorrow to make up for it. I just don't know what to eat or drink I never really do brunch.
what is your go to not super obviously disordered brunch choice for what to eat. also what do you drink to still have a good time but not ruin your day?
w.
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend: I was worried about you, but then I remembered that at prison camps they starve and are worked almost to death. You're fine.
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 112 | BMI 17.5| -15 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 10:19:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82pybo/boyfriend_i_was_worried_about_you_but_then_i/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Ec stack not working
/u/oriamB [5'6 | CW 135? | GW 120 | always fluctuating | F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 10:01:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82pt31/ec_stack_not_working/
---
[removed]
[Other] I discovered this subreddit...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 7 09:51:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82pq50/i_discovered_this_subreddit/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82pq50/i_discovered_this_subreddit/
[Rant/Rave] I love āEmbarrassing Bodiesā as a way to keep myself from stuffing my face.
/u/blood-n-caffiene
Created: Wed Mar 7 09:50:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ppvx/i_love_embarrassing_bodies_as_a_way_to_keep/
---
This show helps to put me off eating mindlessly. All the crazy, nasty physical conditions the people have will definitely make you not want to reach for the snacks. Oh, and they donāt hold back on where the condition is - both men and women drop trow and show the doctors their, um, problem down thereš³
Itās also interesting to see how different people cope with these issues. Sometimes it does help with being able to find something good about your body and appreciate how it looks and works. And you learn stuff about different body parts!
[Help] Advice for creating an evening plan to avoid my night overeating?
/u/zorbiz [5' 8" | 18.5 | 23F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 09:30:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82pk51/advice_for_creating_an_evening_plan_to_avoid_my/
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I have been bingeing/overeating at night like crazy for the past few weeks. Today, I finally feel the strength to break it. I think I can make it through my work day without overeating, but I'm worried about what will happen as soon as I get home.
Do you have any advice? How do I plan my evening for success?
I don't have much bingeable food in my apartment, but unfortunately, I always seem to figure out how craft something out of desperation anyways (not to mention there's a grocery store a block away).
[Rant/Rave] When you have a very specific craving and nothing else will do..
/u/COOKIE_PRINCESS [4'10" | šŖ | F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 09:28:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82pjbb/when_you_have_a_very_specific_craving_and_nothing/
---
...but you have no idea what the food is and so you can't make the feeling go away šš.
I've been like this for like three days now, trying to get this feeling to pass. I have this horrible feeling in me at all times that I need to eat <???> and it's driving me insane. I end up eating tons of other things that I don't even want to eat and enjoying nothing because it's not the right thing but I'm desperately trying to fill that gap.
I just hope this will pass š I don't know how I will survive if it doesn't š
[Rant/Rave] When celebrities lose weight
/u/lovelysilliness
Created: Wed Mar 7 08:08:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82oxdy/when_celebrities_lose_weight/
---
I feel like such a piece of shit, but Iāve been watching Emma Kenney lose weight over the last like year on Instagram. And it makes me angry. Like girl you looked fucking fly with those soft curves. And also thereās a bit of a sick competitive side where I donāt want her to be traditionally hotter than me. I think partly because I think she was so perfect before, but also it made me feel better to be thinner than her but she still looked good?? I donāt even know how to really explain it. I get way too fucking invested in celebrities.. Does anyone else relate to any of this??
[Help] Does anyone have experience with 'Grenade' products?
/u/lunaroseminnow
Created: Wed Mar 7 07:45:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82or8t/does_anyone_have_experience_with_grenade_products/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] March 7th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 07:40:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82oq5a/march_7th_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
Itās not a good idea to experiment with what today?
[Help] raising calorie intake for musical? advice?
/u/opal-ann
Created: Wed Mar 7 05:56:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82o1uy/raising_calorie_intake_for_musical_advice/
---
i have the lead in my schoolās musical and since iāve been stressed as h*ck because of it, iāve been restricting super hard and have lost a lot of weight. iām already under my āmusical goal weightā so i can afford to stay where iām at for awhile, especially because my costume is starting to get baggy and the food will give me energy to perform my best. but every time i eat more than usual i feel super guilty and itās all i can think about and i purge.
i guess my question is how do i maintain my calories for a lil while and not obsess over it? i just want one week of being ānormalā for the sake of the show.
this is my first post here, iām sorry if i broke a rule.
[Rant/Rave] DAE eat weird shit to shame yourself into not eating more
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 115 | F | š½]
Created: Wed Mar 7 05:53:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82o16l/dae_eat_weird_shit_to_shame_yourself_into_not/
---
I just mixed some flour, water, and salt and ate weird cracker dough goop.
It was actually pretty good and now I want to eat that and not my other food but I really don't want one of my housemates to catch me doing this so I can't have any more food.
[Rant/Rave] I must be going mad
/u/steamedbun_27 [165cm | too much / GW: 53kg | idk | -27kg | F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 05:43:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82nzaj/i_must_be_going_mad/
---
Basically I've been restricting to about 800-900 cals a day for two weeks after emerging from a 3 month long binge cycle. I can feel parts of my body starting to thin out (chest bones, thighs, knees, hand bones if it makes sense) except my stomach. Whaaaattt? I'm not sure if it's because of my poop schedule, but then again I have a bm like once every two days so I don't think that's the issue. Anything like this happened to anyone before?
[Other] Looking for MyFitnessPal friends.
/u/dansla116 [5'9" | 144.8 | 21.4 | -10.2 | M]
Created: Wed Mar 7 05:23:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82nvau/looking_for_myfitnesspal_friends/
---
[removed]
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 07, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 7 05:12:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82nt10/daily_food_diary_march_07_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 07, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday March 07, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 7 05:11:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82nssu/way_to_go_wednesday_march_07_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for March 07, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
God have mercy on my stomach
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Mar 7 03:20:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82na4v/god_have_mercy_on_my_stomach/
---
on mobile flair as rant rave please
took like 8 laxatives and got really drunk and I'm oddly constipated now. I feel like I am going to die. also made out with my straight coworker and will probably have explaining to do. my night is not going well I am in so much abdominal pain right now.
w.
[Goal] Guy voluntarily starves himself for 50 days.
/u/MsFaceless [5'8" | CW 127 | BMI 20 | GW 100 | 28F]
Created: Wed Mar 7 02:44:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82n4bx/guy_voluntarily_starves_himself_for_50_days/
---
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4982520/
Smoking Ciggarettes
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 7 02:21:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82n0oq/smoking_ciggarettes/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Cardio everyday?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 7 01:34:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82mtgm/cardio_everyday/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] bad eating disorder hospital experience
/u/andercla001
Created: Wed Mar 7 01:19:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82mr23/bad_eating_disorder_hospital_experience/
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this may be a bit of a long post, but a few years back i was admitted to an eating disorder clinic and had a bad experience. i've also never really talked about it to anyone and just wanted some place to share my story. i wanted to ask if anyone else has ever been to an ED clinic and what was your experience?
i was 11 at the time i was admitted (i'm 15 now) i weighed 45 lbs. i was eating enough to sustain myself at the time, but not nearly as much as i should of been. it was november when i was admitted and i was originally put in the day program where i would just go from 9-7. i was also an extremely picky eater with a super was metabolism. i'll also mention i was not anorexic, i never had body image issues. ill get to what the loosely diagnosed me with in a moment. they tried to convince me and my parents from day one i was anorexic.
the was the program worked you had to get a certain amount of points from eating meals and snacks within a certain amount of time to be on level 2 the next day. i could never to it though, i was always on level one. which meant sitting in an empty room when you weren't eating or in therapy. which was pretty tough for an 11 year old as you can imagine. after a while of me eating much less that i was when i entered the program they opted to put a feeding tube in me and admit me full time. i got to visit my parents one hour each night which was really tough for me to be away for them. soon thanksgiving and my birthday had passed and i was just an extremely sad kid. they were feeding me 3000 calories a day through the tube. i began vomiting my stomach couldn't handle all the feeds. they were accusing me of forcing my self to do so (i wasn't)
one moment that really stands out in my memories is around christmas time. santa was visiting and i vividly remember vomiting in the bathroom while santa was visiting with the kids. they ended up putting in a tube the went in to my intestines. i was eating next to nothing. people would ask me why i wasn't eating. they didn't understand, i just couldn't.
after a while they decided to cut all contact with me and my parents, unless i ate all of my meals, which never happened. this felt like torture for a 12 year old kid not to be able to see her parents, who she's been with almost every day of her life. i do have to say the only close to good thing was the other kids there, i made a few close friends i still chat with on occasion.
after each meal we would process the meal with a staff member, i got extremely good at making up thoughts and feeling about it. truth is i didn't really have any. after three long months of getting worse, they told my parents they didn't know what to to with me and sent me home with a vague diagnoses of a "restrictive eating disorder" truth is they didn't know what was wrong with me. i remember on my last day a staff member looking me in the eye and saying "you're never going to be the popular girl with a feeding tube" and that stuck with me. i went back to school with my tube. and yes it was horrible. i remember one day sitting in math class thinking "i don't want to live like this" and that's when i decided to fight against ED.
three years later after much hard work and zero help for the ED clinic i am living a healthy and happy life. i apologize if this post rambled or was confusing. i'm not the best writer. but thanks for reading and just know you can get through it.
[Discussion] what's the most weight you've ever lost from a fast?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | "maintaining" | 22f]
Created: Wed Mar 7 00:18:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82mgqa/whats_the_most_weight_youve_ever_lost_from_a_fast/
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[removed]
[Other] i got a new mpa account
/u/sugarpiIl
Created: Wed Mar 7 00:16:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82mga7/i_got_a_new_mpa_account/
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[removed]
That awkward moment when you do well the whole day then binge at night ..
/u/_chamomile
Created: Tue Mar 6 23:52:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82mc0a/that_awkward_moment_when_you_do_well_the_whole/
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[removed]
[Discussion] For those of you that like low cal shirataki noodles, HOW
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Tue Mar 6 23:25:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82m7b7/for_those_of_you_that_like_low_cal_shirataki/
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I bought it and it tastes like plastic never againššš is it an acquired taste? I would rather not eat that eat them.
meirl
/u/mental-chillness [5'6 19F | 123.4lbs | gw 120lbs]
Created: Tue Mar 6 23:23:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82m6vl/meirl/
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https://i.redd.it/btwf5wf8x4k01.jpg
[Help] i have binge eat disorder.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 6 22:44:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82lzu5/i_have_binge_eat_disorder/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82lzu5/i_have_binge_eat_disorder/
[Discussion] Afraid to work out?
/u/breezykiltviews
Created: Tue Mar 6 22:32:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82lxf7/afraid_to_work_out/
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Is anyone else afraid to work out because they're worried they will gain muscle weight? It seems like such a counter productive irrational fear of mine. I want to burn the calories so bad but I seem to gain muscle easily and desperately don't want to add flesh to my body. But then I remember how great I felt when I did work out and I'm tempted to start again. What is everyone's opinion on exercising? What exercises do you do? I have muscular thighs and don't want to build on them so I feel like that rules out a lot of exercises.
[Help] A friend in need..
/u/littlemiss_Vix
Created: Tue Mar 6 22:28:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82lwop/a_friend_in_need/
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I need someone to just keep in touch with that struggles with an eating disorder like I do.. someone so I donāt feel so alone or someone who wonāt make me feel like what Iām doing is horrible š
[Other] Every morning.. š¦ššš¼āāļø
/u/IrritatedIntrovert
Created: Tue Mar 6 22:09:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82lsqo/every_morning/
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https://i.redd.it/nicc1sfc36k01.gif
[Help] I don't know
/u/Firerose157 [5'3" | ~118 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 21:51:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82lp3f/i_dont_know/
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Counting calories, checking every nutrition fact, looking in the mirror every time you pass and then some, never seeing "skinny", always fat here or chub here. Satisfaction out of being called skinny, told you look like you've lost weight. No satisfaction out of how my body looks as I lose weight, I fall farther from having an ideal body shape, a safety net weight to reach as my eating disorder has gotten worse within the past year (had it since who knows when but it was never something I noticed until a few years back when it really started being noticeable to me). Now, the weight loss and ED is affecting my relationships. I've been told I am 20 pounds less than what I was when he fell in love with me, that if I lose 5 more pounds, I won't be recognizable. I'll admit, my weight was on average 120-135, 146 at my highest, and I felt like I looked great at one point. I don't know if when I'll ever feel that way, if ever permanently. I have to gain weight, and solve this ED on my own or he says he can't do it anymore. I still find satisfaction out of hearing myself be called skinny, being told I weigh less and I enjoy looking in the mirror and seeing "thin" but it is not at all what he is attracted to, even I want to be "thick" like I was (am? I don't know what I am), but I feel like any weight gain will make me feel fat and unsatisfied. I feel like I'm fighting myself to gain the weight back to keep him happy, and I gain weight in the "right spots" but I cannot for the life of me get it into my head that I won't be fat if I do. I don't see much of a difference looking at myself, other than weight loss in my legs and chest that I'm not happy with (am I?), and I really don't know how to fix this. I have to do this on my own, but I feel like i'm doing it for the people around me. Part of me doesn't want to get better, I want to wither away with the one crutch I have, but I really don't. I want to be "thick", happy, and enjoy food with a regular appetite and no stomach problems. Don't know what will make me satisfied, if I ever will be. Thank you for listening, any advice is appreciated. Really glad I found this subreddit, you guys really understand.
[Help] Tips for burning off extra calories?
/u/glossboy
Created: Tue Mar 6 21:27:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82lkdr/tips_for_burning_off_extra_calories/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Just returning to my apartment and scale following a break
/u/aprilfades
Created: Tue Mar 6 21:11:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82lh2b/just_returning_to_my_apartment_and_scale/
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In between quarters, I typically get about a 10 day break. I went home because I enjoy spending time with my family, especially recently since I've been isolating myself from all my friends.
Was SUUUPER worried about going this long without my scale. Typically, I can't help but fall back into bad habits at home and just binge all day. And my mom just bought actual bulk-sized boxes of Girl Scout cookies lol. I did go nuts Saturday and ate six miniature kolaches and two donuts. But otherwise, I stayed away from the cookies and tried to keep below 400 cal.
I began the break about 1.6 lb away from my first goal weight, which is just to be in a healthy weight range, 154.8 lb. I did have a super old analog scale I used, but it was actually really unreliable and made me feel like I was gaining.
So today was the big day I'd get to see the results of the break! I hadn't eaten or drunk anything all day because I thought my weight was already going to be borderline goal weight. Got to my scale, and it read 153.8!!!!! And then I used the bathroom, and it read 152.6!!!!! AHHH!!! I'm not sure I've been in a healthy weight range since middle school... I'm so relieved.
ALSOOO I fit into size 8 pants comfortably! I didn't expect that. Now I need to go buy new pants, but I really can't complain!
My UGW now is 120, when I'll stop myself before going underweight.
[Help] Binged twice, could only purge once... :(
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 129 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.1 | F21]
Created: Tue Mar 6 20:46:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82lbn0/binged_twice_could_only_purge_once/
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I feel so disgusting. Iāve been binging and purging so much lately, and I can feel myself getting fatter from it. At this point, Iād honestly take eating normal. I donāt care if I canāt restrict right now, I just want to stop stuffing my face with food i hate until I hate myself :ā(
[Rant/Rave] Iām so stressed for the summer and just a rant
/u/molfit
Created: Tue Mar 6 20:19:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82l5nc/im_so_stressed_for_the_summer_and_just_a_rant/
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My starting weight was 185 at 5ā4 and yet my mom said I could lose 10 lbs at most but I look good basically- so now Iāve lost 15 and she says wow you look so much better but u really donāt need to lose anymore... I wouldnāt even be a normal BMI until another 30 lbs lol!!!! š... but anyways I want to lose at least 15 more lbs by June so I can not want to die wearing a bathing suit to the beach...
Iām so nervous bc my friends all want to go to my friends house in Long Island for the summer and I know we will want to take so many pics and I just donāt want to look fat or to have to wear a one piece bc I didnāt make my goal for summer š
Sorry I guess this doesnāt seem coherent but I just really needed to scream into the void rn
[Rant/Rave] Old habits are starting to entice me yet again...
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Tue Mar 6 20:04:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82l2fs/old_habits_are_starting_to_entice_me_yet_again/
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Iāve been feeling a little weird lately.
I was just looking at old pictures on my laptop and came across a folder full of pics of me back at my lowest weight. And with each picture I looked through, I remember how I felt at that time. I remember constantly feeling dizzy and anxious. I remember having to hide so much of myself from others. I remember lying my ass off 24/7 to get me through the day without eating. I remember the sleepless nights I would have thinking I was going to die in my sleep if I kept going in this direction.
Well fast forward now, and Iāve gained the weight back. I may look fat and disgusting now, but the voices have remained. Sure they havenāt held as much power as before, but theyāve been waiting for the right time to strike. And I have a feeling itās now.
I feel like Iām reverting back mentally. I hate the way I look now more than ever and I canāt shake it. No amount of therapy can shake me out of this mentality. I feel gross. But the saddest thing to me is how I even miss how I felt back then.
I may have constantly been tired, weak, inattentive, and aggressive, but I was also thin. And thatās all that mattered to me then. And sadly, I still feel the same. But now I feel Iām falling back. And Iām helpless to stop myself from pursuing it. I feel locked into a ride I donāt want to be on. One I desperately want to get out of but canāt.
[Rant/Rave] Itās not Halo Top, but itās the first low cal ice cream I have found in Manitoba, Canada!
/u/jodi_falls
Created: Tue Mar 6 20:01:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82l1nv/its_not_halo_top_but_its_the_first_low_cal_ice/
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https://i.redd.it/ixb3vmdjb9k01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate how different/fat I look after eating
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5ā4ā | cw 118 | gw 110 | bmi 20.7]
Created: Tue Mar 6 19:23:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ksjj/i_fucking_hate_how_differentfat_i_look_after/
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no matter what, if I even just drink one drop of water in the morning my stomach turns into a saggy mushy ball. I have abs when I wake up but literally when anything even just touches my tongue I get three months pregnant I want to cry honestly. I wish I could just never eat again.
Sorry guys, Iām on vacation and Iām trying to enjoy myself but I canāt deal with all the horrible disgusting pics my family is taking of me. I donāt even have a belly button itās just a nasty flat line across my stomach.
[Help] Slacking
/u/loveyov
Created: Tue Mar 6 19:17:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82krga/slacking/
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This entire year I've maintained a pretty low calorie intake (typically less than 300cals a day). For the most part, other than typical signs like bruising, freezing, etc. I been doing fine... Since January, I been working out doing an hour of cardio a day. It's caused me to up my calorie intake, which I was fine with... However, I've noticed my phsyical symptons of anorexcia are a lot more prominent and visible now. If I don't eat, I'll get extremely dizzy, some days I can't even get out of bed. I also been getting random leg cramps now. I'm tired to the point where I can't do anything. I can't even do school anymore. I been trying to eat a lot more lately for that reasoning. I also noticed these symptons started occuring when I lost my period... I'm having to eat more to calm these symptoms down, but it's making me feel like my ED is nonexistent, not to mention it's concerning me (health wise). More and more I'm having days where I tell myself "I just can't do this anymore." Is this normal? Should I give in and see a doctor? I'm use to the symptoms, but they're so intense now. I can't function most days. It's also worsened my mental health intensely. I wouldn't attempt to kill myself, but it's making me having suicidal thoughts - which isn't common for me. It feels like everythings suddenly crashing. I know the obvious answer is to eat, which I have been, but then my mental health worsens. I feel like I'm at a 'I can't win' stage. Will this ~stage~ end? I don't know what to do, do I just have to 'give up' (if that's even possible) my eating disorder? I'm embarased to be eating this much, but when I don't eat and go back to 'my old ways' I feel like I'm dying??? Is there just a point of having an eating disorder where you can't physically have one anymore? This is more of a rant, but if any of you have similar expirences or advice it would mean a lot. Thank you..!
[Help] I can't stop binging and purging. Do you guys have any tips to stop?
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Tue Mar 6 18:53:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82km53/i_cant_stop_binging_and_purging_do_you_guys_have/
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It used to be just binging, but since I've gained so much weight I might as well purge to get rid of the calories. I can't keep doing this. It's wasting money. Wasting my life and all the things I could be doing.
I've tried IF, fasting, keto, eating at maintenance, intuitive eating, etc. I don't know what else do and I don't know if therapy will even help.
[Rant/Rave] My sister tries to sabotage my weight loss, and I'm letting her think it's working
/u/bequietbelly [5'10" | CW 144 | -67 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 18:27:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82kfy9/my_sister_tries_to_sabotage_my_weight_loss_and_im/
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[removed]
[Help] How do i know i have an ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 6 18:23:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82kewa/how_do_i_know_i_have_an_ed/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] ED's effect on personality
/u/ci-fre [5' | 71 lb | ~14.6 | F | gaining/semi-recovery]
Created: Tue Mar 6 17:53:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82k7k7/eds_effect_on_personality/
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I feel like the sentiment *you aren't your ED* is common; however I feel that a lot of things about my personality are probably at least a little related to my ED. For example, I don't go out with people because I obsess about food and how other people eat and look and it makes me really anxious, and I guess it contributes to my general distaste for contact with others.
Are there any things about your personality that you think your ED is probably linked to?
[Intro] Any guys on this sub?
/u/PMmeyournavel [6' 1"| 150 | 19.8 | fluctuates | 23M]
Created: Tue Mar 6 17:43:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82k5ma/any_guys_on_this_sub/
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Hey y'all,
Hope I'm not intruding.
I have struggled with body dysmorphia, anorexia, bulimia for years. I just wanted to say hi and see if there are any fellow guys on this sub that feel my pain.
I am not what people think of when they hear eating disorders. While I get typical "skin and bones" comments, there is never a real concern behind any of these comments. Nobody expects a 6' 1" bearded dude to have spent nights punching his face cause of how much he hates that his cheekbones don't protrude. Nobody expects the fact that I grew my beard to hide more of my face. Nobody thinks twice when he says he's not eating today, or thinks to ask if this is the first day of his fast when in reality it's his third.
I really hope I'm not coming off as some MRA-like asshole when I am saying this, I just feel as if there's no real support structure for me. I was hoping to see if any guy or woman feels the same.
[Goal] Convo with my mother...AKA Challenge accepted
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 6 17:29:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82k2ny/convo_with_my_motheraka_challenge_accepted/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] BF doesn't realize he's encouraging my negative thoughts
/u/violentyetflammable [5'7" | CW: š· | UGW: 105 | F21]
Created: Tue Mar 6 16:57:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82jvf3/bf_doesnt_realize_hes_encouraging_my_negative/
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Without going into it because it's still fresh, I saw what is basically my boyfriend's sex tape with another girl. I almost od'd on pills the night I saw it (last week). Now it didn't happen while we were together but this girl was perfect. Beautiful, tiny body, big butt and here I am on the overweight side of the BMI scale.
I've already had problems with disordered eating that only one of my friends has noticed because I KNOW she has an ED but won't talk to me about it. Even told me if she did she wouldn't tell me. But she's the only one that's noticed because I'm too fat to actually have an ED of course.
My boyfriend, who I've been off and on with for four years, the love of my life, doesn't realize that when he supports me to eat under 1000 calories a day and work out for two hours that it's just confirming for me that I'm not good enough.
Just another reminder. I've also started self-harming again which I've been clean of for a little over a year. I can't deal. I'm fat, I'm ugly, and I'm not good enough for the one person I feel love from.
[Rant/Rave] weight fluctuations make me wanna cry
/u/jiangguo [5'7" | CW 125 | BMI 19.5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 16:55:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82jv2z/weight_fluctuations_make_me_wanna_cry/
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i've been trying to maintain because i bought my prom dress too big and cannot let such an expensive dress go to waste so i've been up a few more pounds than usual. i ate around 1200-1500 yesterday (most of what i ate was cake lmao... the bakery didn't give calories so i just estimated high) and now i'm back to my normal weight??? down 4 pounds from what i've been staring at for the past few weeks??? i'm so confused what the fuck
[Rant/Rave] I was afraid of drinking water today.
/u/littlebirbb [5'7" | -38]
Created: Tue Mar 6 16:21:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82jmr1/i_was_afraid_of_drinking_water_today/
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Weigh in day. First in a while. Things are going okay. Buuut I still had to fight myself to drink water before my workout, because I was afraid it would make me gain weight?
Why am I this way???
It took me a solid minute of āno, dummy, water wonāt make you gain weight, you already weighed in, you need water, you usually drink tons of itā before I got up and filled my bottle and drank a whole one. I had a bad binge cycle fest for a month or two, I ran out of my meds and had to wait for my insurance to kick back in before I could start them again. Mentally I was just a mess, I didnāt want to do anything, I comfort-baked like several dozen cookies, a pan of banana bread with chocolate chips, brownies, and a bunch of other stuff. Put some weight on.
Being back on my meds is good. I have the self-control to not stuff my face 24/7. I put 12 pounds back on during that time. Iāve been good again for like barely two weeks but Iām already down 6.5 lbs again. I know some of that is just bloat but itās still a little reassuring. Iām still so far from where I want to be.
I have a bunch of crazy fun stuff happening in April and May. Two music festivals, two family weddings, a bachelorette weekend, and a few other little things. If I keep at it I still wonāt be at my goal weight in time but Iāll be much better off than I am now. If I would have stayed on track during that awful time I would have just about been there.
[Discussion] An alternate opinion on pudgy tummies
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 140 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 16:19:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82jm3r/an_alternate_opinion_on_pudgy_tummies/
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So my SO has told me repeatedly that they love how "feminine" my tummy is. Before we got together, I of course hated my tummy, which I've had even at my LW with a bmi of below 17 (not super skinny, but like whyyyyyyy did I have a tummy at that weight???). It's probably bc I was a fat, borderline obese child, so I just have a lot of fat cells there.
ANYWAY. My SO thinks my tummy is feminine because of the curves it creates on my body. Obviously it would be unattractive if it was really big, but, like I assume a lot of us here are, my tummy is very proportional and "cute" (to my SO).
I know I won't magically change anyone's opinion, but I just wanted to show that some people actually do like soft, pudgy tummies. They aren't objectively ugly! And I of course thought they were. And I still would rather have a flat tummy. But my SO's opinion has really helped me feel more confident. I even still wear crop tops and stuff.
Idk. Y'ALL ARE BEAUTIFUL š
[Help] Spanish proeders, give me your suggestions!
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 16:16:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82jlbf/spanish_proeders_give_me_your_suggestions/
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I'm heading to Barcelona soon, and I was hoping someone here would have suggestions for what to eat and what to avoid at all costs. In my weird, obsessed with food ED brain, I'm so excited to try new things, but also *calories*... you guys know the drill. Suggestions for attractions/sights/things to do that are not to be missed would be really welcome as well! I know that's not really what this sub is for but in a lot of ways I think of you guys as friends.
[Other] Thought you all you could use this š
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 137 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 16:05:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82jiek/thought_you_all_you_could_use_this/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/82b7kl/imagethat_is_bravery/?utm_source=reddit-android
[Discussion] Bikini or swimsuit?
/u/PainlessMe [17F | 1.75 | CW: 61.1 | GW: 50 | SW: 70.1]
Created: Tue Mar 6 15:20:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82j5x9/bikini_or_swimsuit/
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Hi, so last summer before I actually started working on my body but did already feel shit about it, I wore a swimsuit which made me look like a potato, and a friend of mine said that a bikini would look so much better on me but I really donāt like my tummy. So objectively I love both but swimsuits gave me a safer feeling. Now, after losing 10kg and counting, I donāt know whether to buy a swimsuit or a bikini in the summer, or maybe both and switch it up sometimes. Iām not sure about either tho bc with the way itās going my leg scars are still purple all the time so like I might not swim at all and just sit on the beach in a dress or sth.
How do you feel about swimsuits and which do you prefer? Or maybe you donāt swim, because you donāt feel comfortable in swimwear? Maybe your swimwear doesnāt involve a top half? Iād love to hear from everyone.
Also, if I get swimwear I was planning on getting either [this one-shoulder swimsuit](https://www.monki.com/en_eur/clothing/swimwear/product.one-shoulder-swimsuit-black-magic.0585328001.html), [this cut-out swimsuit](https://www.monki.com/en_eur/clothing/swimwear/product.cut-out-swimsuit-black-magic.0585334002.html) or [this bikini](https://www.monki.com/en_eur/clothing/swimwear/bikinis/product.padded-bikini-top-black-magic.0585329004.html), probably with high waisted bottoms but maybe Iāll be adventurous by then.
[Rant/Rave] Haha yay more motivation not to eat for the rest of the day
/u/lesjonquilles [5'6 | 118 | GW 102]
Created: Tue Mar 6 15:16:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82j4wb/haha_yay_more_motivation_not_to_eat_for_the_rest/
---
So thereās this guy I really like and I was lowkey Instagram stalking him and I found his sisters account (she was tagged in one of his posts)
Yāall. Sheās a model. A legit, 5ā11, 115 lb, signed with one of the biggest agencies in NYC model. Fuck. Iām so triggered but also like, in awe. Sheās gonna be my new source of thinspo 100%.
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend's Mother
/u/seitansmistress
Created: Tue Mar 6 15:12:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82j3oh/boyfriends_mother/
---
My boyfriend's mother hates me. And she hasn't been super sly about it. Thankfully we only see her maybe twice a year. This past Christmas was hard. I spent a whole week with his family in their home. I realized only today that that was the start of this relapse.
I'm a vegan, and so is her daughter. The difference is that her daughter is slim and trim and gorgeous and I'm, well, a fat waste of space. She gave me really passive aggressive one liners as we ate dinners together as a family. Not only did she say things about my food or how much I was eating, but she had to break down every single thing I'd say. As if she didn't believe I knew what I was even talking about. I make a lot of jokes because that's how I cope with people clearly hating me. She would deconstruct every joke I'd ever tell and make me explain to everyone why I think something is funny. I know that's a ridiculous thing to be mad about, but I am a comedy writer as a profession, which she thinks is laughable. By destroying my confidence in the one thing I have left, she is attempting to grind me down into a trash pile. Trash is not good enough for her son.
This last criticism sounds so ridiculous as I type it up, but I think she may actually be this cruel. She is aware of my body issues and my ED history(the bf told her), but she takes candid and very unflattering photos of me and posts them without my approval. I'm always fat as shit in all of them. I have to hide them from my timeline because seeing one of those photos will prompt me to fast for a week.
The most fucked up part is that my boyfriend thinks she likes me. Which makes me wonder if maybe I'm so screwed in the head that I have projected this image of who I believe she is onto her because I need some fuel for my self hatred. Maybe she doesn't even dislike me. Maybe I've made it all up in my head.
Either way, I thought of her today. I don't want to eat.
[Discussion] Calling all periodless babes
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 106 | GW: idk | F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 15:09:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82j2wa/calling_all_periodless_babes/
---
Vent to me babes. Tell me your problems. Maybe we can relate. Either way, Iāve got an ear or two to lend ya.
Iāve already posted about this a few times but here I am again. I havenāt had a period for almost 6 months now. Iāve tried ārecovering.ā Iām eating more. I stopped going to the gym. Basically just removing as much stress as I can. And itās driving me crazy. Everyday is a mental struggle. My digestive system is trash. I miss feeling an empty stomach. I miss reading my kindle while Iām on the elliptical at the gym for hours. I miss MFP LOL. I deleted the app, butttttt Iām still counting. I miss feeling hot. I miss being close with my boyfriend. We pretty much stopped being intimate because my mind just isnāt in it and my sex drive isnāt there because my body isnāt so messed up. He respects this but I still feel guilty. I hope Iām making steps in the right direction but I have no idea what Iām doing anymore. I just want to be so small but I NEED my period and this whole thing is keeping me from losing.
On the other side of things... I finally called my doctor today..... but they were closed. Guess Iāll try again tomorrow.
How are the rest of you doing?
[Discussion] Anybody else into minimalism?
/u/lesjonquilles [5'6 | 118 | GW 102]
Created: Tue Mar 6 15:07:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82j22p/anybody_else_into_minimalism/
---
Iām a teenager rn and I share a bathroom/bedroom with my siblings so itās sorta hard... but I canāt wait for when Iām an adult and can truly be a minimalist.
I see clutter like extra fat tbh. Unnecessary and stresses me out. I want to be tiny and take up as little space as possible. Myself and my stuff. I want to be able to pack all my belongings into one big suitcase or duffel and just be able to fly away if I ever want to. Sounds so freeing
[Rant/Rave] My best friend has no idea what it takes to look like the women he cereal dates.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 6 14:52:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ixw0/my_best_friend_has_no_idea_what_it_takes_to_look/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Some girls are naturally underweight
/u/AnimalCount
Created: Tue Mar 6 14:43:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82iv8f/some_girls_are_naturally_underweight/
---
Maybe you know them in person. Maybe it's Natalia Dyer, or some instagram influencer, or your favorite pop singer. But she's clearly underweight, and clearly not just a little. But if you bring it up, you're just a jealous fatty, and your perspective is skewed because of all the fat people like you. You used to think you were skinny and you're not even average. You're fat to them.
But when you *try* to be thin, like people really want, your methods are unacceptable to them. *You* can't skip meals, or chew and spit, or fast, or restrict to 1000 cals a day. But Taylor Swift can. Allie X can. Just not *you*. You aren't allowed to love yourself. Because at your current weight, you're not allowed to, that's fatlogic, you should be ashamed for being so fat and for eating what you like and eating things like gluten and sugar and candy. But if you don't, you get sent to ED treatment until you get even fatter. You're not even underweight yet, and what even is underweight, anyway? BMI is bullshit, but only in one direction. You can never be too thin.
But you can also never be *her*, and that makes you wonder why it all even matters.
[Discussion] Did Anything/Anyone 'Push' You Into This Hell Hole?
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Tue Mar 6 14:14:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82in3g/did_anythinganyone_push_you_into_this_hell_hole/
---
What were things that made develop your ed and when did you notice them?
[Rant/Rave] i need help (for real, this time)
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | "maintaining" | 22f]
Created: Tue Mar 6 14:11:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82im8x/i_need_help_for_real_this_time/
---
i tried to purge in front of my boyfriend last night. after a 2,000 calorie day, i felt nauseous and incredibly dysphoric. i usually purge through laxatives or exercise, because i don't have a gag reflex, but it was 10:30 at night so obviously neither of those were a possibility. he listened to me gag myself and dry heave and cry for 30 minutes in the bathroom.
my ED makes me a bad partner. how can i focus on loving both myself *and* another person when i am *constantly* obsessing over my weight, calorie intake, doing endless body checks and calculating exactly how much i need to restrict to lose x amount of weight in x amount of time? the other night, my partner said, "you said that you'd *had* an eating disorder, but it genuinely seems like you still do. you need help." and that cut pretty deeply. he's right. he struggled with similar issues in the past but now is almost completely over them. i told myself that i'd "recovered". restricting and compulsively exercising and hating the weight that i've gained isn't recovery. i need help, for real this time.
i'm not sure what that will look like. probably me continuing these unhealthy patterns for a while longer, because i tell myself that i'm not unhealthy/skinny enough to deserve treatment. but i'm done letting my disorder control and consume my life. it's taken friendship, good memories, and my physical health from me. i won't let this part of myself continue to take my happiness, too.
[Rant/Rave] New dress
/u/fakey-mc-fake-fake
Created: Tue Mar 6 14:08:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ilhv/new_dress/
---
So I got my first Lilly Pulitzer sun dress the other day. It was on super sale and fit like a glove. This was so exciting for me because they had one in my size. Size 8. Lilly way always worn by the size 2 girls i grew up with and finding one that i liked that liked my body back was just honestly the most amazing feeling. Now Iāve always had a large bust even at my lowest. It generally means I have to size my dresses up one or two sizes just to fit them. This was a bit booby but nothing terrible by any means. I was so excited I gush to my mom and she asks what size it is. I say eight and the face she made cut me so deep. I donāt think she even knew she made it. That, āoh does that really fit?ā I should mention Iām a college grad visiting home so my mom hasnāt seen me since Christmas. Anyway it just really crushed me because I was so excited, I am still excited, and Iām working really hard at being in recovery and losing weight I put on in college. It also hit me so hard since itās NEDA week and thatās always a hard time for me.
[Discussion] What was your eating like before ED?
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Tue Mar 6 13:07:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82i4an/what_was_your_eating_like_before_ed/
---
Before ED, I would have sugary cereal with 2% milk for breakfast. Then at school I would have a pretty junky school lunch (probably chicken nuggets or something). Iād probably have whatever food I can get my hands on before I get home. Then when I was home I would have another meal (ramen). In between after school meal and dinner I would mindlessly snack on things like cookies and peanut butter. For dinner I ate until I was FULL and couldnāt eat anything else.
Now I would have <200 before I get home from school. Then I made sure my after school meal is <300. I would have about 100 calories for snack. Then I would be careful about my I eat for dinner because my parents make it. Then my night ritual is a small plate of fruit.
[Help] gaining on 1000?
/u/isaezraa [5'3 | CW 108 | GW 110-100 | F | maintaining]
Created: Tue Mar 6 12:51:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82hzsi/gaining_on_1000/
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[removed]
[Help] Found out nasal spray can make you gain weight nonstop and Iām freaking out
/u/Bloppitt [5'2 | 131 | -42 lbs | 23F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 12:50:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82hze7/found_out_nasal_spray_can_make_you_gain_weight/
---
I took Flonase last night and accidentally sprayed twice in one nostril. I woke up with a bad sore throat under that nostril at 4 am. I read online it makes you produce cortisol and gives you Cushings disease. It says over time and overuse but since I sprayed a lot in there and never took it before Iām freaking out. I hope it doesnāt slow down my weight loss, even if it slowed me down a little Iād be devastated. Iām also feelin bloated today and dunno if thatās why. Has anyone here experienced this?
[Other] DAE just not truly get hungry anymore, or can't remember what normal hunger feels like?
/u/strawstring [Height 5'10 | CW ???| -76??lbs | 21F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 12:49:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82hz97/dae_just_not_truly_get_hungry_anymore_or_cant/
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I feel like my eating patterns are so fucked that I could not eat all day and never feel real hunger. It's more just a want for food, but less physical and more mental. Even when I know I've eaten nothing/almost nothing and had a super busy day, everyone else is telling me how hungry they are (even after eating "normal" meals), and clearly I should be physically hungry/have an empty stomach, I just feel... nothing?
I don't even know how to describe it - it's like my brain gets ravenous but my body doesn't. Like everything is in my head, but logically I know true hunger should be completely physical, and I'm just so confused/frustrated about it. Every time I eat it's like "oh but you weren't really THAT hungry, you didn't HAVE to eat"
Anyone else???
[Discussion] Anyone else attracted to bigger women yet want to be super small?
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Tue Mar 6 12:47:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82hyo3/anyone_else_attracted_to_bigger_women_yet_want_to/
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Not necessarily in a gay/bi way but it is for me lol I find myself so attracted to women with a big butt and large hips/thighs yet I tried so hard to lose weight because I hated how it looked on me.
[Thinspo] Contradictory motivation/ trigger
/u/NutelllaBellla
Created: Tue Mar 6 12:44:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82hxvi/contradictory_motivation_trigger/
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So I have been lifting weights for a while, and I'm always the ONLY girl in the weights section of my gym.
This oddly motivates me to restrict more because I always go to the gym at the same time and see the same buff dudes there.
It makes me want to restrict even more to lose weight so that they will think I'm attractive.
It's contradictory because when lifting weights, I have to stay away from super large caloric deficits, and get enough protein to keep my muscles. So I can't do vlcds like many of you lovely people on here do. But every time I see those guys I'm like "God I just want to eat in the triple digits to get skinny faster so these guys will think I'm attractive!"
I might be busting ass with my baggy clothes and no make-up on in the weights section, but they always check out the cardio-bunny skinny chicks that stroll by occasionally with there hair down, no sweat, full face of make-up, and skin tight pink tank tops! Hell, I even check them out because I want to be skinny like them, but can't give up my favorite hobby (strength training).
Well, I guess I can rest assured knowing that when I get to my goal weight I will also have muscle definition!
[Discussion] My constant goal
/u/LLazarus732
Created: Tue Mar 6 12:31:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82hu2s/my_constant_goal/
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DAE feel like theyāre chasing or trying to maintain that successful restriction āyour stomach shrunk so youāre not hungry and eating a small meal makes you feel like you just had thanksgiving dinnerā feeling? Like the hunger has passed and if you could just maintain at this level without binging you feel like you could eat dainty meals and be skinny forever and never want more food?
Restriction mood post colossal weekend binge.
Feeling victorious
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 6 12:30:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82htsq/feeling_victorious/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE Do Alternative Day Fasting?
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Tue Mar 6 12:29:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82htpx/dae_do_alternative_day_fasting/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What do you guys think about this sparkling water? It tastes sooooo good
/u/hypothermi_a
Created: Tue Mar 6 12:21:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82hrio/what_do_you_guys_think_about_this_sparkling_water/
---
https://i.redd.it/fthxyaqj17k01.jpg
[Other] Ricky gets it
/u/hollyhock_MMGRZHFM
Created: Tue Mar 6 12:21:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82hrc4/ricky_gets_it/
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https://i.redd.it/ab25aiwg17k01.jpg
[Tip] HALO TOP IN CANADA
/u/pumpkinchailatte [5'2 | CW 130 | GW 110 | -25]
Created: Tue Mar 6 11:49:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82hhyg/halo_top_in_canada/
---
http://www.halotop.ca
[Help] Bf got turned down buying Bronkaid
/u/KitteeChaos
Created: Tue Mar 6 11:37:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82heco/bf_got_turned_down_buying_bronkaid/
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So do they go by your address or..?? Because I'm the last one to have bought any (less than 30 days ago so I couldn't) and he hasn't bought any in the past 30 days which is how long you have to wait in between. We live together so our dl's have the same address. It doesn't seem fair because we are different people so we should both be able to buy the limit per 30 days. I didn't think it went by household. Am I wrong? They told him the pseudo ephedrine system was down but that sounds like bullshit. Anyone have any idea? Now the Walgreens people prolly think we're making meth lmao. Now I'm thinking of asking a friend to get it for me.
[Discussion] How do you guys distract yourself?
/u/dwaiiiii [5'3" | 118 | UGW: 95 | -7lbs | 20F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 11:32:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82hcn6/how_do_you_guys_distract_yourself/
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I find that I usually try to hole myself up in my room so I donāt get tempted to binge. The issue with this is that I feel extreme boredom and loneliness. I want to go out and meet up with friends but I know that almost all social plans require food (which I really canāt control myself around especially these days). So what do you guys do??
[Goal] I had fish and chips...
/u/Acyts
Created: Tue Mar 6 11:28:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82hbdm/i_had_fish_and_chips/
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And I'm not going to feel guilty, I'm not going to restrict tomorrow, I'm not going to exercise excessively, and it's not a binge. I enjoyed tasty food because I deserve to enjoy myself and eating fish and chips on one day will not make me fat.
Right?
[Help] Help!!
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Tue Mar 6 10:55:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82h1f9/help/
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Hi guys! Iām going to an Indian buffet next week, and Iām freaking out. Iāve never had Indian food, and thereās no calories on the menu online. Can anyone recommend some standard Indian food that tastes good and is low calorie? Everything seems to be fried or covered in condensed milk š
Thanks!
Raised my UGW (reasoning included)
/u/eightteenfiveborder
Created: Tue Mar 6 10:50:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82gzyt/raised_my_ugw_reasoning_included/
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I've lurked here for several years.
I'm 5'2.
Over the last 5 years I've been
130 to 120 to 110 pounds (now).
Happiness was brief each time I lost weight then I lowered my UGW to 105...100...95...90.
But I read a lot of posts here about the moving goal post: you start at a healthy goal weight, but keep lowering it because it's never low enough to make you happy.
I don't think I'll ever be happy with my weight. I've been dissatisfied for years, binging and fasting; I don't see an end in sight - so I'm making one.
I'm aiming for an 18.5 bmi on the old bmi that doctor's still use (so 100-101 pounds). That way l'll be objectively not-fat even if I can't see it and objectively non-underweight even if others can't see it, so I can't be hospitalized.
I don't want the mental torture; I'm tired of crying in the shower and at night because my body never feels good enough. I may not be happy with it, but I can end the war. I don't expect to like my body anymore. I am more than just a body.
That's all. Thanks for reading.
Just wanted to tell people that would understand.
[Discussion] Fast vs Slow weight loss
/u/pathetiqe
Created: Tue Mar 6 10:26:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82gt1l/fast_vs_slow_weight_loss/
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[removed]
[Help] what are some of your favorite low cal snacks?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Tue Mar 6 10:12:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82gpcq/what_are_some_of_your_favorite_low_cal_snacks/
---
i think mine is gerbers baby cereal lmao, we have very few low cal snacks here so i have to get creative.
[Discussion] Everyone is up my ass about eating
/u/ziamal
Created: Tue Mar 6 10:10:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82goib/everyone_is_up_my_ass_about_eating/
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[Discussion] But no one says anything to the other girl who doesn't eat. I don't see why people are concerned with what I eat and when. I'm trying to low restrict but like just now they all went to get breakfast and I volunteered to stay back and they were like "are you sure you don't want us to get you something"? I said yeah I don't want anything and then one girl said "you need to stop acting like you don't eat" and idk were she got that from?? Not just today but all the time if I don't wan to eat suddenly everyone is concerned?? Why? I'm not even skinny, skipping ONE meal won't hurt me idgi. And there's other girls way skinner than me who barely eat but no one says anything to them?? Idk maybe it's because she's older than most of us with a husband and kids but she's so small you'd never know.
[Discussion] DAE spend ridiculous amounts of money on make up, body products etc.?
/u/Idontknowanything443 [5'5 | SW 150 | CW ? | GW 105]
Created: Tue Mar 6 10:00:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82gllf/dae_spend_ridiculous_amounts_of_money_on_make_up/
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I'm wondering if this is related to ED?
I was looking at my things yesterday and I have endless amounts of make-up, nail polishes, skin care products and hair products. I was honestly shocked about the amount of stuff I have and don't even know how I could afford it.
[Goal] Itās a miracle!
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 09:26:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82gbhf/its_a_miracle/
---
Yesterday I weighed in at 110 and promptly lost my shit for the entire day. Today? 106.5, like I was expecting yesterday. I canāt even explain how much better I feel.
[Discussion] Quotes that have stuck to you?
/u/birdsbirdsbirds339 [24F| 160cm | gw: 145 | -10]
Created: Tue Mar 6 09:21:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ga2f/quotes_that_have_stuck_to_you/
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A couple of years ago one of my colleagues was talking offhand about her intake and one of the things she said that really made my ears perk up was "I want to be thin enough so people are a just a little concerned". That quote's kind of become my mantra since then.
What things have people said around you (innocuous or not) that have really stuck? Doesn't have to be ED related :)
[Help] I regret breaking my fast. Mild TMI ahead.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | went to treatment | send help | 24F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 08:25:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82fush/i_regret_breaking_my_fast_mild_tmi_ahead/
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Yesterday I broke my fast at a few minutes short of 112 hours. I ate 494 calories, stopped eating at 6:30pm, and took a diuretic and a dose of Miralax before going to bed (not as a way of purging, just as a way of ensuring I had a BM before drinking coffee in the morning).
Anyways, I passed a BM as soon as I woke up, weighed myself, and the scale showed I was .2 pounds higher than the day before. I know it's literally impossible for me to have gained .2 pounds since yesterday but it's just bumming me out because I took a diuretic AND Miralax. Anyways, after my morning coffee I passed another BM and I know that in theory my weight should be lower now but the scale won't reflect that since I have coffee weight in me still.
Bleh.
But I do have a question. Is it possible that since I went from eating nothing for almost 5 days to eating ~500 calories in one day my body is holding to extra water weight? Or is that total nonsense?
[Rant/Rave] Could breakfast just stop?
/u/Douchebagette
Created: Tue Mar 6 08:10:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82fqs4/could_breakfast_just_stop/
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Breakfast always seems to ruin my day. I usually only am hungry in the morning if I didn't eat much the day the before. I usually don't have trouble fasting though the day but if I have something in the morning and I'm going to be thinking about food all day.
So in short fuck that granola bar you ruined my day
[Rant/Rave] my flatmate went through my ED food drawer and made fun of me for like 30 straight minutes fml š£
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | CW 113.6 | GW 100 | 26F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 08:09:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82fqip/my_flatmate_went_through_my_ed_food_drawer_and/
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he was looking for something shared, maybe the salt i donāt remember what, but he opened MY drawer and saw all my weird safe foods: PB2 that my friend brought me from america, a tub of stevia, unsweetened cocoa, sugar free hot chocolate mix, my food scale, rice cakes, some potatoes i had been hoarding, a bag of texturized soy protein....
and basically picked me apart, criticizing my food choices, laughing at me saying things like āoh my god what IS this?? is this even food? my grandmas cat eats betterā etc and like i know he meant it as a joke but i took it really personally. itās bad enough that i was pretty much hiding all this weird food in a drawer but to have it found and criticized piece by piece was too much. iām embarrassed with myself. i keep trying to convince myself not to give a fuck because itās my life and who cares what other people think. yes i have an ED itās my business and i handle it how i want to
.... but still i feel like super vulnerable about being āfound outā :/
[Tip] Sour tamarind stew (148 cals), my staple for when I'm restricting
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Tue Mar 6 08:03:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82fp06/sour_tamarind_stew_148_cals_my_staple_for_when_im/
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https://i.redd.it/0yenxafir5k01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Down 2 lbs and miserable
/u/BoneGnawerGirl
Created: Tue Mar 6 07:59:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82fnt8/down_2_lbs_and_miserable/
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In the last 5 days I have dropped 2.1 lbs... doing the "healthy" stuff like eating (800 - 1000 calories a day) etc... got on the scale this morning and seeing only 2.1 lbs lost crushed me.
My husband is REALLY aware of my history with ED and is encouraging me to lose weight in a healthy way.
I had lost 160 lbs with a super combination of anorexia , keto and self loathing... got "help" for my ED and put back on 50 lbs.
I know 2.1 lbs down is progress in the right direction but I keep beating myself up over how I could have done so much better doing it *my* way.
[Rant/Rave] When your therapist pulls out thenDSM and reads the descriptions of eating disorders to you...
/u/lost-in-limbo1990
Created: Tue Mar 6 07:35:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82fhuh/when_your_therapist_pulls_out_thendsm_and_reads/
---
Yesterday was an awful, no good day. I have relapsed back into some ED behaviors. Iām also in a place where I donāt believe that these behaviors qualify for the OSFED diagnosis that my therapist and psychiatrist slapped into my charts over a year ago. I donāt feel that Iām going to do any long term damage to my body like theyāre convinced that I will. And I told my therapist so yesterday. So he pulled out his DSM V and read the descriptions and qualifiers for various eating disorders and pointed out my qualifiers. I completely shut down. I donāt want to hear it, mostly because I canāt stop what Iām doing right now and donāt want people telling me that Iām doing something wrong. He wanted me to come back for another appointment this week, but Iām waiting until my usual appointment next week; I am a little too upset to go and talk to him again. On top of all of this, I just feel silly for the way that Iām acting and reacting. Iām 27 years old, going on 17 again. I know darn well that Iām an adult and should act like one, but Iām acting like I did when I was a sick teenager. Blah. Iām not looking for any answers here; maybe just some validation that Iām not totally insane. Because I feel insane right now.
[Rant/Rave] I have kept down nothing but liquor for several days. Send help.
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80lbs | 15.1 | -23lbs | f]
Created: Tue Mar 6 07:30:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82fggx/i_have_kept_down_nothing_but_liquor_for_several/
---
Y'allll my life is falling to pieces and i've found myself playing the part of that ghetto kid who gets drunk at school (when previously i was just that ghetto kid).
Every morning these last new days, i have woken up, had a ciggie, made my coffee... and topped that bitch off with Smirnoff.
Of course, because I'm not eating anything with it and I weigh less than the family dog, it hits me like a ton of bricks.
I have the fattest bruise on my ass guys. Because I can't hold my liquor and I fell in public.
Every time i emerge from my haze, I just get bitch slapped by the crushing weight of existence on the threshold of adulthood and I cannot handle it, so down i go into the bottle again.
I've swapped binge/purging with binge drinking.
Sometimes i like to pretend i'm a russian ballerina trying to stay warm from the inside out.
What the fuck have i become?
I'm just as disappointed as everyone else who knows me.
But, cheers.
[Goal] I can comfortably wear school trousers for a 12-year-old!
/u/letthetemptingbegin [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 23.49 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Tue Mar 6 06:03:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ewr8/i_can_comfortably_wear_school_trousers_for_a/
---
https://i.redd.it/jjv842a655k01.jpg
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday March 06, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 6 05:10:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82el5t/thinspo_tuesday_march_06_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 06, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 6 05:10:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82el57/daily_food_diary_march_06_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 06, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] March 6th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 05:05:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ek6q/march_6th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Whoās your nemesis?
Idk probably myself, but also this really fucking annoying woman at work lmao
[Other] Ano-REX-ia
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 04:55:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ei2g/anorexia/
---
https://i.redd.it/mf3w0aptt4k01.png
[Help] Does anyone have quick at home workouts?
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" |CW 54kg |BMI 19| GW:48kg| Female]
Created: Tue Mar 6 03:27:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82e2o2/does_anyone_have_quick_at_home_workouts/
---
I need a home workout for those days I can't make it to the gym, preferably one that I know how many calories are burned during it?
Thank you!
[Discussion] DAE feel like life slows down during restriction phases, and speeds up during binge phases?
/u/laurdoor [5'7 | 122lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 6 03:24:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82e288/dae_feel_like_life_slows_down_during_restriction/
---
I relate so much to the posts Iāve seen here about feeling and being super productive during the times when Iām successfully restricting. I love it and totally feed off of it, trying to accomplish anything and everything I can possibly manage while I have the energy. And I feel like thatās because, in part, I have more ātimeā to do so because time is almost slowed down.
I do so much during these times, yet I can remember every meal I ate on every day. And if I canāt, I wrote it down anyway. I remember so many details of all of these days. Itās so strange.
During binge phases, despite feeling sluggish and fluffy, and not accomplishing very much besides stuffing my face, smoking, and drinking excessively, life still seems to fly by right in front of my eyes. Suddenly, itās been 2 months and 20 pounds and I have almost no memory or understanding of how it happened....
ED brain is a bitch.
[Rant/Rave] 2am insomnia poem about depression and ED
/u/aweebirb [4'10.5F | CBMI: 22.5 | GBMI: 18]
Created: Tue Mar 6 03:05:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82dytz/2am_insomnia_poem_about_depression_and_ed/
---
my dumb and very angsty poem :|
I hope itās ok to post? Itās not good but I wanted to write *something*. Iāve been feeling particularly hopeless for the past couple of weeks.
āwake upā
my alarm screams
āyour day begins, your pills are waitingā
ātime to try againā
I recall when last this reassurance
dissipated the fog of war
formed in my frame of fat and fatigue
it wasnāt always so futile
holding my head hard against the haggard sheets I havenāt washed in weeks
it all reeks of failure
and defeat
guilt and disgust occupy where my ambition should live
I want to forgive myself
instead I starve in a desert of my mindās own invention
an oasis of seclusion, the only safe haven
a mirage that forms a mental mirror where others may see satisfaction
I see stupid decisions and silent suffering so substantial
they swallow me whole
Unrelated to the poem can I also just say that therapists are great? :ā) I opened up to mine about my disordered eating very recently and honestly sheās the sweetest. She praised me for opening up to her and being vulnerable when Iāve only ever told my husband or recently you all anonymously, and said I should feel proud that I was able to bring it up after feeling ashamed and embarrassed for so long.
is MFP broken?
/u/Suusss [| 5'6 | 143 / 130 / 120 / 117 \\ 115 \\ 111 \\ 109]
Created: Tue Mar 6 02:47:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82dw7k/is_mfp_broken/
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[removed]
Why Binge Eating Disorder is a Major Health Risk
/u/ashutoshpandit102
Created: Tue Mar 6 01:49:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82dnhk/why_binge_eating_disorder_is_a_major_health_risk/
---
https://www.healnt.com/blog/post/2018/03/05/binge-eating-disorder
[Rant/Rave] I drank half a litre of vodka today and chewed and spat an entire taco twelve pack. AMA.
/u/MissMagus
Created: Tue Mar 6 01:36:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82dkta/i_drank_half_a_litre_of_vodka_today_and_chewed/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I wore a crop top today..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Mar 6 01:25:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82dj0w/i_wore_a_crop_top_today/
---
on mobile flair as rant rave
I found a cute cropped baby doll shirt on my things and so I wore it and suddenly I felt like I couldn't eat anything cause I didn't want to be physically or visibly bloated. best appetite depression is apparently wearing skimpy clothes. I wore skinny jeans that weren't very forgiving to my legs and with a scandalous low rise and my tee probably less a good inch or so of visible stomach.
there were moments I actually felt sexy. I went for a grungey layer thing. I had a flannel and a oversized cozy cardigan too and didn't really wear the tee by it self but someone did say i have a cute stomach at a bar I was at.
I want to wear cropped tops more but I'm so insecure about my tummy and having a muffin top. I guess I'm proud i took a risk but still just really unhappy.
I wish I could just feel sexy or desirable but I don't I don't desire me and so I can't see why anyone else would. I am garbage.
w. ā„ļø
I'm a "pure" bulimic now... weight climbing, sad and getting worse and worse
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4" |105.4| BMI 18| GW 96 lbs |32 y/o]
Created: Tue Mar 6 01:00:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82det3/im_a_pure_bulimic_now_weight_climbing_sad_and/
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It's almost 2 am. I've been binging on purging on and off since yesterday at 530 pm, and that started off at a buffet. Now I'm home alone, cold and shaking and tired. And I still need to drag this body to purge. I'm scared. Of dying next to my own vomit. I'm scared of living day after day without knowing if this is just all I capable of. In the past 3 months, I've been inpatient, residential, partial and now I'm in intensive outpatient. My weight is climbing, and spirits sinking. Flair is absolutely wrong and outdated.
And still. Here I am. I'm sitting in a house, not a home. I'm nourishing a monster I can't see, not my body. I'm not emptying my trauma, I'm emptying my bank account.
This isn't about being thin or distress tolerance anyone, this is just me, a reprogrammed mess destined for self-destruction.
I feel no hope. How can I, when I am no longer human.
[Help] off my meds [EC question]
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [bulimiaayy lmao]
Created: Tue Mar 6 00:34:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82dat1/off_my_meds_ec_question/
---
Long story short, I'm having issues with my insurance and have completely lost access to my medications. I've been b/ping multiple times per day. I can't take it anymore. I want to try EC stacking just to break out of it until I can get back on adderall.
Can it get back to my doctor somehow? I don't have asthma. I'm scared they'll find out and I won't be able to go back on my prescriptions. But I just can't take this anymore.
[Discussion] ~30 day fast~ Feel free to join
/u/ThatBoi1999
Created: Tue Mar 6 00:25:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82d9fc/30_day_fast_feel_free_to_join/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Alcoholism struggle..
/u/Careabella
Created: Tue Mar 6 00:22:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82d8x3/alcoholism_struggle/
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The struggle is real. Constantly trying to balance your calorie intake with your alcohol intake. Itās truly exhausting. I have hardly eaten anything today so I could lose weight by the time I go on vacation on Friday and here I am drinking glass after glass of wine which is over 100 calories each.. I can practically feel myself getting fatter. It seems these days food isnāt even my problem. Iāve learned that keeping a rubber band on my wrist and snapping it will snap me out of my food daydreams. But when it comes to drinking a bottle of wine I cannot stop myself.
[Discussion] DAE hate diet foods?
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 87 | BMI 14.5| 17F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 23:59:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82d57o/dae_hate_diet_foods/
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Like I'm talking about very fake diet foods. Like shiritaki noodles, sugar free anything, and all that zero calories artificial shit. Now I like some "diet" foods that are just slightly less unhealthy versions of the originals. Like baked potato chips or yogurt that just has less sugar but no artificial sweeteners.
Personally I hate the taste of artificial sugar or whatever the hell is in shiritaki noodles. I find it so much less satisfying and find I end up eating the fake version, not being satisfied and then eating the real one too.
Just wondering if I'm the only one?
[Other] best feeling ever
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 5 23:40:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82d1yb/best_feeling_ever/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Starvation Mode isn't a thing according to science
/u/DeathWish111 [5'5" | 106 | 17.8 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 23:19:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82cy61/starvation_mode_isnt_a_thing_according_to_science/
---
https://youtu.be/1a8zuTfZhK0
[Discussion] Things I want to eat right now
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 136 | GW: 111 | -28 lbs]
Created: Mon Mar 5 22:48:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82csmq/things_i_want_to_eat_right_now/
---
I'm fasting and broke 24 hours and want to eat a lot of things but won't so I'll write them to feel better. Comment whatever you guys wanna eat right now!
Pizza, soft and chewy with melted, gooey cheese and spiced sausage with a nice warm crust and pepperoni.
Soft, warm pretzels with a coat of melted butter and large salt granules with that fake nacho cheese dip.
A bologna sandwich
Grilled cheese
Fire noodles with cheese and egg in it.
Candied strawberries.
Fried in sesame oil bread rolled around cheese, basically rolled up grilled cheese
French fries, the crunchy kind that are just warm enough and just salty enough
Bread, just straight up soft, warm bread. Korean bakery kind, baguettes, coffee bread.
Chicken and cheese fajitas
Burritos
Black bean noodles
Crepes
Soysauce insta ramen
A PBJ
Original flavor lays and Cheetos
Chocolate and pastries
[Rant/Rave] Mom's chewing makes me want to punch a wall
/u/tjmacd
Created: Mon Mar 5 22:38:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82cqnl/moms_chewing_makes_me_want_to_punch_a_wall/
---
A slight drug binge caused a short suspension from work. what do I do? Book a last minute flight to go see my mom for the first time since Thanksgiving (October, I'm Canadian) landed not too long ago exhausted AF so just trying to get some sleep so I can hang out with my lil brothers tomorrow (convinced my mom to call them in sick from school) I shower, change, lay down in bed. What does she do? Grab a bag of chips and a bottle of coke. She's chewing so loud and it's been so Long, how much chips do they even fit in a bag? And everytime I hear that bottle of pop open I clench my teeth and cringe. I wanna punch a fucking mirror Rn.
[Rant/Rave] :|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:
/u/tacehtelle [ahfgewgafu]
Created: Mon Mar 5 22:25:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82co9j/_/
---
Every single day I binge. Today I ate 900 calories and i was fine untill 8 then I got so hungry and I ate a madeline... then another, a little pack of cookies, a sandwich, a croissant, and a cup of milk. Like whAT the FUcK. And then I realized, im just like every fucking girl in the whole entire world (teenager, I should say). I say im on a diet and then I binge every day. There is nothing that makes me special besides the high standards I hold for myself. I have never felt more out of place and ashamed in this subreddit. Idk what to really do now, I just feel empty. Ill probably be back tho.
[Help] Question about making up for binge
/u/NutelllaBellla
Created: Mon Mar 5 22:13:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82clyb/question_about_making_up_for_binge/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Anybody feel like youāre waiting until youāre thin enough to do something?
/u/lesjonquilles [5'6 | 118 | GW 102]
Created: Mon Mar 5 21:59:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82cj6o/anybody_feel_like_youre_waiting_until_youre_thin/
---
Thereās this guy Iām so so into rn. If I asked him out I feel like heād say yes. But Iāve told myself Iām not going to until Iām at my GW. Fuck, with my luck heāll have a gf then
[Other] I wrote a thing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 5 21:47:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82cgr4/i_wrote_a_thing/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Not sure if compliments or concern
/u/boltonsexy06
Created: Mon Mar 5 21:22:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82cbw7/not_sure_if_compliments_or_concern/
---
I have BMI of 19; I don't think I'm thin -- just average. I primarily isolate to prevent interactions. Of my few interactions, I feel extra wierd when people say I look skinny. A very small part of me is happy that they're noticing me coz I'm usually alone. The anxious me however says people are noticing me in a more negative way -- something I don't understand what exactly about it or why. I'm starting to notice that when people mention anything-my-weight-related that I panic and try to change topic immediately and awkwardly. I'm more uncomfortable than how I receive other kinds of comments/compliments (which are also still wierd, just less).
I think it's an ed thing; so, I'm wondering how others feel and respond to compliments?
Thanks for reading.
[Discussion] Where my fellow queers at?!
/u/sadanna [5'4 | CW: 120 | a 20 y/o gay girl]
Created: Mon Mar 5 20:55:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82c61o/where_my_fellow_queers_at/
---
YO okay guys so like, where are the gay peeps at?! I KNOW YALL ARE OUT THERE. and also like can we talk about how hard it is to date the same gender?! Whenever I date a girl itās like a mix of love and also JEALOUSY. Damn if it isnāt hard.
LETS BASK IN THE QUEER COMPANY OF THOSE WHO ALSO STRUGGLE WITH EDS because I donāt see much support within this community and there should totally be more!!! WOOOOO
[Rant/Rave] Noodle Hell
/u/honey_tarot
Created: Mon Mar 5 20:54:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82c5wi/noodle_hell/
---
I just tried shirataki noodles for the first time and oh my goodness what a bad experience. I used a low fat creamy curry sauce cause I heard the flavor may be a bit strong so I wanted to really mask it.
I actually had no issues with taste but dear lord the texture is something from the 3rd circle of hell. Why is it the texture of earth worms/hair/cartilage? I got through two bites before I just dumped the whole thing in the trash with teary eyes (I absolutely abhor food waste and I canāt remember the last time I threw food away like that if ever).
I rinsed the crap out of them, blotted with a paper towel and then dry fried them. How did I go so wrong!?
[Discussion] Anyone stuck with workouts like Insanity or Beach Body for a month or more? What were your results like?
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6" | 115ish | -20 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 20:46:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82c4br/anyone_stuck_with_workouts_like_insanity_or_beach/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Diving in
/u/biggoldie
Created: Mon Mar 5 20:30:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82c0v0/diving_in/
---
I've been walking the edge of being completely sick or attempting recovery for months now but I'm diving in. My therapist that I've grown extremely attached to and see twice a week told me today she's going on maternity leave in July for 4 months. I also reached out to my psychiatrist to up my medication, something he agreed we would do but I asked to do it slower than he originally suggested and now he wants to keep me at a baby dose and just tolerate the crippling depression. I haven't sent my email response back yet but here's my draft:
"I could get melodramatic about how miserable I feel, or maybe (Therapist) can provide some validation but I feel like my options right now are to lean on medication to feel better or to lean on the eating disorder to cope. Pick your poison. "
Too harsh? Either way, I'm diving in.
[Help] will 800 kcal keep me from messing up my metabolism?
/u/freakytreesprite [5'2'' | 21F | GW: 100| CW: 180 | BMI: 33]
Created: Mon Mar 5 20:03:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82buyw/will_800_kcal_keep_me_from_messing_up_my/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Binged so hard and took a bunch of lax as punishment
/u/bloomoonxx [5"8 | BMI: 19 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 19:51:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82bs6f/binged_so_hard_and_took_a_bunch_of_lax_as/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Brandy Melville
/u/satanic__feminist
Created: Mon Mar 5 19:48:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82brhz/brandy_melville/
---
So I donāt even know where to start with this post but I have this gross obsession with Brandy in general and the fact that I canāt fit into their skirts or pants (I can fit the ones that come in size medium and sweats, but not the one size like tildens) probably fuels it. I love the vibe with the perfect skin and hair and body and ugh. Anyone else?
[Other] I got a waist trainer. Its neat.
/u/Blyatimir_Putin [149cm| :( | Goal: 45kg]
Created: Mon Mar 5 19:42:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82bq2k/i_got_a_waist_trainer_its_neat/
---
[removed]
Pregnant and Mom thinks I'm fat.
/u/dontcareifithurts__ [5'4.5 | Pregnant & "Healthy"]
Created: Mon Mar 5 19:12:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82bj8j/pregnant_and_mom_thinks_im_fat/
---
Hello lovelies, been a while since I posted here. I use an alternate account for non-ED stuff.
I got past the wedding and was able to be a mostly skinny bride. Then I put on a couple pounds (maybe 5?) post wedding... on purpose! So that I could, you know, concieve a healthy child.
Now I'm 13 and a half weeks pregnant (3 months) with a planned and wanted baby. I am very excited.
Of course my fucking mother has to come and rain on my parade. She comes at me tonight with her stream of negativity and snark about my body "I noticed you were gaining weight in December before you were even pregnant, you're always sitting down, you don't move enough. You're showing so early, I knew if I said something you would be offended so I just didn't. But I noticed."
She also brought me two chocolate bars. ???
I've been eating really great for the sake of this baby but for fuck's sake I am wearing size extra small maternity clothing and I literally told her that I gained a few pounds on purpose to conceive a child and I will be gaining weight over the next 6 months because it's impossible not to! She just smirked and said "oookay" like she was surprised that I snapped at her.
UGH. Why must she make it so hard for me to just be healthy... or happy. :( I've been doing so well...
[Other] Started over...again.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Mon Mar 5 18:52:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82bef3/started_overagain/
---
And if you lax you might get why Monday is my favorite day. Sundaylaxday. Ive stopped calculating binges. I questioned if i should before and i really just cant stand the shame of knowing. And i know there are always an inconceivable amount of hundreds of new days, but tonight i want to be the last night of punishing myself for letting go at the end of the week. Im not letting go. I have made a habit and disturbing reliance on this behavior and its only made me less relatable and more reclusive and lonely. Im already an alcoholic. I hate the way it feels to drink whe. I am stuffed from binging. Obviously i am doing nothing to help myself, but the binging and laxing and alli is the first thing i want gone. Cross my fingers, this monday is going to be the last unsuccessful monday i havr. Well. For atleast a week.
[Rant/Rave] all i think about ever all the time is food :))
/u/xjzqq
Created: Mon Mar 5 18:41:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82bbwa/all_i_think_about_ever_all_the_time_is_food/
---
all i ever wanna do is eat. even when iām full, even when iām not craving anything. my life revolves around food, when iām eating, what iāll eat, how much i should eat, when iāll get an opportunity to b/p in peace. i know i donāt HAVE TO eat food thatās in front of me, but i canāt just leave food on my plate. if itās in the house, iāll eat it. and if itās something like oreos or chips or granola, iāll eat it all at once.
i know sometimes on this sub people talk about the show my 600 lb life and how it makes them feel repulsed by food, but all i can think about is how much i empathize with them. i maintain a bmi of 20.5-21 but i feel like i *should* be that big, that if i wasnāt terrified of gaining weight i would be.
anyways i feel like shit, the only thing i care about anymore is eating, b/pāing, w/e. mostly i just feel so fucking stupid because itās like, i donāt have to eat this entire fucking bag of chips, i certainly donāt have to eat an entire box of oreos right after, i could just fucking stop?? but i donāt. i wish i could just rip out the part of my brain that thinks about food. or at least be a good enough/strong enough person to try and resist binge urges. but i donāt even fucking try lol
sorry to dump here and complain i just feel like shit lol
[Other] [sweats nervously] oh, neptune.
/u/bipolarspacecop [M/21]
Created: Mon Mar 5 18:32:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82b9wt/sweats_nervously_oh_neptune/
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https://i.redd.it/j6wft9chp1k01.png
what I ate today so far (3-5-18)
/u/_chamomile
Created: Mon Mar 5 18:32:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82b9rz/what_i_ate_today_so_far_3518/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Do you guys eat all of your "allowed" calories even if you're not hungry?
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | went to treatment | send help | 24F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 18:09:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82b4bk/do_you_guys_eat_all_of_your_allowed_calories_even/
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I had planned on doing a 7 day fast but ended up breaking it a few minutes short of 112 hours. Anyways, since breaking my fast, I've decided I'm going to limit myself to 500 calories a day. Historically that's been a really sustainable amount for me. I've had 300 calories so far. It's just past 5pm and my personal cut off for eating is 6:30pm. Right now I feel like, should I even try to reach 500 if I'm not hungry at this time? Rhetorical question, not asking you guys if I should eat or not. But then part of me is thinking I'll be hungry at around 9pm so maybe I should eat. So yeah, what do you guys do? Eat up to your max allowed calories? Or do you stop because you're not hungry, even though you're not at your max?
[Help] help help help.
/u/bmddx
Created: Mon Mar 5 17:43:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82ayca/help_help_help/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] why is it so hard to be skinny??
/u/waisu [5ā2|CW:145|GW:90|F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 16:59:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82anmh/why_is_it_so_hard_to_be_skinny/
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iām so sick of seeing my friends buy clothes in size 4 or lower. iām stuck at a size 9 and itās so annoying because thatās the biggest size and theyāll just put them up to their waists and say āoh! this is so bigā. and i know they mean it as a joke but itās so hurtful.
all iāve done is gain weight since last year. i have absolutely no self control. and everybody in my family forces me to eat even when iām not hungry and itās just ugh! maybe if i tell you iām not hungry i donāt want to eat?? stop making me??
[Other] Here's a song ~
/u/honeybrownbunny
Created: Mon Mar 5 16:46:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82aknd/heres_a_song/
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https://open.spotify.com/track/72u90GcBbVRTpuMcIpOC0f?si=FBkvHJNcSR-wtdV3apu8Cw
[Rant/Rave] Just an obligatory āfeeling shitty during my binge cycleā post :(
/u/mina1200
Created: Mon Mar 5 16:24:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82afc1/just_an_obligatory_feeling_shitty_during_my_binge/
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I hate it. Iāve been binging non stop since Friday and my arms feel pumpy as hell and my stomach makes me look pregnant. I just want to lie in my bed for 5 days straight but Iāve got uni project meetings to go to. I feel so, so shitty itās overwhelming. During my binge phases I never feel like a complete person. Just a fat shell of who I think I am. There arenāt enough words to describe how much I hate looking in the mirror at the moment. I havenāt showered in 3 days because, well, how the hell am I supposed to even tolerate my naked body at the moment?!? So much self hatred. So so much.
Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] 'That looks too small'
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 5 15:58:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82a8g0/that_looks_too_small/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] overwhelmed
/u/andromedagalaxxy [5'6.5 | 128 | 20.4 | -19 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 15:12:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/829vfw/overwhelmed/
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School 5 days a week- 5 classes, 17 credits. Babysitting 3 days, restaurant job 2 days. Sunday is my only day off, but not really cuz I have to do all of my studying, homework, and errands then.
My grades have been slipping due to my schedule. I live with my SO and his family, suffice it to say we don't get along at all. Sometimes it feels like theres no room and I want to just fucking move out with him but we can't.
Between school, working, studying, exercising, and other things, I'm expending so much energy and finding it really hard to cut calories. I keep eating and eating and eating and my job does not help. The other day there was a messed up piece of carrot cake that we couldn't sell so I took it in the bathroom, sat on the floor and ate the whole thing. Every day I fail to hit my calorie goal and I feel more disgusting. I'm so tired and stressed out all the time, a lot of things in my life feel unmanageable. I know being thin won't solve everything, but fuck, I still want to get there, and I'm so frustrated at how hard it is.
[Rant/Rave] Conflicting feelings
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Mon Mar 5 15:12:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/829v9h/conflicting_feelings/
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Went to the doc for a follow up on some blood work because i was really sick and she tells me I gained 7 pounds. In about 1-2 weeks... I havenāt been binging but Iāve been āin recoveryā and havenāt been to the gym, have been trying to not worry about what I eat. I almost had a panic attack and felt so awful. Ended up going to the gym immediately after.
[Intro] I Love You, But You're Making Me Fat
/u/secretlonelyaccount
Created: Mon Mar 5 14:55:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/829q9e/i_love_you_but_youre_making_me_fat/
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So glad I found this subreddit. It's nice to know there are people out there who have fucked up thoughts and habits like I do. My bf is gone for a whole MONTH! I love him dearly, but when he's away I can go to the gym forever, eat nothing without question, and look at as much thinspo as I want. In a way I'm really happy to have him in my life. But his presence makes the ED voices less strong. That's a good thing right? It's so weird how the ED is literally like another person invading my brain. I want my boyfriend to be around. ED is happy he's gone so I can restrict freely. Just wanted to rant. I've been lurking for a while. I'm sad all of you guys are struggling with this shit, but damn does it feel good to have some company.
[Help] Should I postpone fasting if I'm trying to recover from a cold?
/u/defenestrationdisco [5'8 | CW 54kg | GW 50kg | BMI 17.9 | -3kg | 19F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 14:20:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/829gjp/should_i_postpone_fasting_if_im_trying_to_recover/
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I've had a friend staying with me who likes to go out to eat so I've eaten a disgusting amount of calories in the past couple of days. So I want to fast. But I have a really bad cold and need to get better ASAP bc I have shit to do. Will fasting actually make a difference? I'm thinking maybe I should just do OMAD with a salad and multivitamin until I feel better.
[Rant/Rave] Super thin Celebrities posting high cal food pics on Instagram, how?????
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Mon Mar 5 14:08:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/829d6v/super_thin_celebrities_posting_high_cal_food_pics/
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Itās always 1/4 eaten or brand new but sooooo good and or unhealthy looking. Is this real life?!? Is it just to post to look pretty or do they honestly eat it?
How can they possibly eat all those delicious noms and remain so frail!
Why canāt that be me?
Just a little rant š
Edit: this post really put things into reality for me. I posted it out of sadness, but the truth is we all go through things. Everyone has their own demons and itās so true how many famous people also share our pain.
You are all amazing, this illness affects so many, itās truly heartbreaking
[Rant/Rave] Flatmate problems
/u/Sb22312
Created: Mon Mar 5 14:01:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/829be4/flatmate_problems/
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[removed]
[Intro] Sick of being fat
/u/Idontknowanything443 [5'5 | SW 150 | CW ? | GW 105]
Created: Mon Mar 5 13:44:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8296cr/sick_of_being_fat/
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I've been skinny and I've been on the verge of overweight. I'm never happy with my weight/looks whatever way, but it's definitely better being skinnier for me. Clothing fit nicer, people want to talk to you more, people treat you better, you can take nicer pictures without having a fat face. Last time I weighed myself was two weeks ago and I was at 150 lbs. I'm hoping to go back to 107 lbs where I was before or lower.
I decided to go back on keto with the intentions of "doing it the right way this time", but nope my ED brain kicked in. I've been heavily restricting on keto and fasting since. Keto for me is a god sent because I can turn down food and no one blinks an eye because they have no ideas about carbs. "Want some of this soup? No thank's - it has carrots in it which is high in carbs."
Just wanted to say hello to everyone. Thank's for listening.
[Rant/Rave] When you pay triple the price just to get 2kcal less
/u/taikutsuu [5'8''|cw: 136.2lbs |gw: 110lbs |20.4 BMI |-9lbs |19f]
Created: Mon Mar 5 13:32:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8292vs/when_you_pay_triple_the_price_just_to_get_2kcal/
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I stood in front of actual Stevia and artificial sweetener. 100 tablets of Stevia had 0kcal and were 1,79. 650 tablets of artificial sweetener with 2kcal per tablet were 0,79.
Guess which one I chose. As a student that lives alone and on a budget, this is just.. sad.
[Help] Did I really lose weight?(read below)
/u/softpinkglitter
Created: Mon Mar 5 13:18:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/828yq3/did_i_really_lose_weightread_below/
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Everyone keeps telling me that I lost weight. My family, my friends, my classmates. I dont think that they are lying. BUT I CANāT SEE ANY CHANGE. Literally nothing. My friend showed me an old pic of me, as a way to show me how fat I was back then, but I didnāt notice anything. I keep looking in the mirror but Iām just as fat as I was.
And I only lost 4 kgs according to the scale, but maybe because I was going to the gym, I couldāve gained muscle. I donāt know honestly. I donāt know if I should believe them.
[Discussion] how do you get your oral fix?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Mar 5 13:17:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/828ydi/how_do_you_get_your_oral_fix/
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on mobile flair as discussion please.
so I always feel like I need to occupy my mouth with things some times it's talking, I smoke cigarettes off and on. I chew gum and suck on mints and hard candies and stuff. I put on really great lip gloss or lipstick to discourage myself from doing anything to fuck it up. I brush my teeth sometimes after eating or before to give myself the minty taste and clean breath feeling. I drink tea, water, sparkling water, coffee. in the sometimes I make Powerade zero popsicles or just by sugar free ones and take forever to eat them.
how do you satisfy your oral fix or cravings for things? favorite gums flavors or mints? best teas to drink? best hard candies to not pack on too many calories?
w.
[Help] Reducing food waste
/u/Headspace12
Created: Mon Mar 5 13:16:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/828xzs/reducing_food_waste/
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I currently live with a family member and a friend, and when they cook me meals I usually take them to another room and dog bag them to throw out in the morning. I'm wasting nearly 7 meals a week and my city is full of homeless people. I want to start packaging them in some kind of cheep plastic container so that I can give them to the homeless- a dog bag doesn't look very appetising- but I'm not sure where in the UK I can buy them cheaply.
Does anyone have any advice? I live near several pound stores but haven't seen anything disposable that I could use.
Thanks.
[Rant/Rave] Nightmare
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Mon Mar 5 13:15:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/828xxn/nightmare/
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I had a nightmare that I went to the dining hall (which is something that I don't do because last time someone made fun of me for using a food scale), was in awe because suddenly they had more options like racks of pastries and conchas/cupckcakes/muffins, and my inner pig was like "Ugh, do you really want to serve yourself broccoli when you can have a chocolate concha? Who knows," it whisper," maybe they even have atole or champurrado?" So like the fat binge eater that I am, I dropped the broccoli and serve myself around five mini cupcakes. I shoved one in my food, moaned like Trisha Paytas, then started looking around for a place to sit. Everything was taken except for a table with a skinny boy and a heavy set girl. Me, being the polite Hufflepuff that I am, asked them if they minded if I sat by them.The boy just shook his head and grunted something unintelligible, and I was thought he said something along the lines of I don't care, but when I placed my plate down he gave me the most disgusted look. The girl sitting across from him, smirked at me, and said: "I think that a nooooooo" And then proceeded to get into an argument with me because I was too slow to get the fudge out of there. As I walked away, I angry ate the cupcakes and glance sadly at the racks of conchas. I woke up, freak out over eating 1,500 calories of cupcakes, and I was in the middle of planning a binge for the lovely interaction at the dining hall when I realized that it was just a dream.
Now, I know the reason why I had this dream. I do alternative day fasting, and I hate eating in front of people or near people ( traumatized by being filmed binge eating by sorority girls and generally being made fun of for being fat and using a food scale yeah college sucks worse then high school.) So I usually eat around 2 or 3 in the morning, and since I don't want to disturb my roommate, I head out to the laundry mat to eat. I was happily measuring out 56 grams of Cheez its and checking to see how many ml of Monster zero ultra there was in the can. I was relaxed and content as I munched on the crackers while Bob Burgers played in the background.
Then came in a girl to do her laundry, and I felt very ashamed/anxious because I know how I look like and I could tell from the way she avoided my general area that she pitied me. She left, and I consider eating on the stairs. I wished I had left too because two boys came in, and I was judge to the high heavens. One of them gave me a look of utter disgust, but he looked confused when he saw my food scale(I like seeing how many grams I eat.) Yeah, I know what a food scale is and I use it too. Then he reluctantly placed his water bottle on the edge, and when I knew they were planning on staying to work on school work while they did their laundry. I kept eating trying to calm myself, but the urge to purge was starting to make its appearance. I left while their backs were turned, and ate my remaining cheez its on the stairs. I was caught eating by three other people before I realized that 1) I REALLY need a better/more private eating spot 2) it would be cheaper to buy a family sized cheez its box than buying it from the vending machine every few days and 3) fasting for a longer period might be a better option for me if I can avoid people's judgmental looks.
GrEat.
[Rant/Rave] (Non-intentional) Vomiting after binging?
/u/peppermintschnapps55 [BMI 23 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 13:04:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/828ujd/nonintentional_vomiting_after_binging/
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I don't binge very often and I never purge (except through exercise), mostly just restricting and fasting. But I had one of the biggest binges of my life last night. Afterwards I felt sick, but went to bed expecting to feel better in the morning. I woke up early with stabbing pain in my abdomen, was super nauseous, puked up the contents of my stomach, and soon felt better.
Has this happened to any of you? I know purging is common but it was so weird to accidentally make myself sick by eating too much food. I just keep trying to remind myself that my body has gotten used to eating very little and the same amount of food probably wouldn't affect an average person as much. Still, what a way to feel like a glutton.
[Rant/Rave] why am i so disgusting! stay tuned to find out!
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | "maintaining" | 22f]
Created: Mon Mar 5 12:51:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/828qvc/why_am_i_so_disgusting_stay_tuned_to_find_out/
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after a few days of restricting >800, i ate rice, soup, and a piece of pizza last night and felt disgusting and told myself that i'd go back to very heavy restricting today
and *guess what* before getting ready to go to the gym, i ate a bagel, a muffin, and cookie dough HAHA cool um this is why i'm a fat, disgusting slob with *literal* stomach fat and really huge thighs!!!! i fucking hate myself lol glad i'm not alone in this wild fucking ride
edit: just shoved 800 MORE calories into my body 5 minutes before going to the gym to do hiit and cardio so i'm probably about to throw up lol!!!
[Rant/Rave] I HATE being called ma'am!!
/u/NutelllaBellla
Created: Mon Mar 5 12:44:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/828oxx/i_hate_being_called_maam/
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I'm 20 years old and get called ma'am all the time. I fucking hate being called ma'am. It's the same thing as being called fat, old, and plain. When I was 30 lbs lighter just two years ago, nobody called me ma'am, it was always miss or sweetheart. Just more motivation to lose this weight. Does anyone else hate being called ma'am?
[Other] I just ate 300 calories of potato chips.
/u/lilialley
Created: Mon Mar 5 12:29:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/828kn2/i_just_ate_300_calories_of_potato_chips/
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[removed]
[Other] Obligatory ~ I'm back on my shit ~ post!
/u/renewtheplaintiff [5'3 | cw: 99 | gw: 90 | F23]
Created: Mon Mar 5 12:26:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/828joy/obligatory_im_back_on_my_shit_post/
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*insert upside-down smiling emoji*
After a really bad breakdown last week, I ate like a normal human this weekend. I didn't think about food. I didn't track calories nor complain about things I crave. I just ate. I managed to basically *delete* my ED, temporarily. The fuck.
I guess my body can't handle a normal amount of food cause I've been pooping all day today, bloated AF, and up 5lbs. Even through the tiny glimpses I have of occasional recovery/freedom, I feel safe inside my ED. It's like a little gremlin cave I never have to leave. Now I'm more excited than ever to restrict. Ugh. I reinstalled MFP and literally breathed a sigh of relief when it opened up...
[Help] How do I stop using food as a cheap coping mechanism for my empties and uncategorized feelings?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 12:23:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/828j20/how_do_i_stop_using_food_as_a_cheap_coping/
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Plz help me and my sad bank account are really suffering
10 pounds difference, really donāt see any change, idk
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 5 12:07:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/828ep8/10_pounds_difference_really_dont_see_any_change/
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https://i.redd.it/e22vo1f5uzj01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Please tell me Iām not the only one who has no urge to take basic care of myself until my body magically succumbs to my will and starts to look the way I want.
/u/FromMyIvoryTower [5'3 | CW: 105 | BMI: 20.2 | GW: 80 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 11:56:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/828bdi/please_tell_me_im_not_the_only_one_who_has_no/
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I shower every four days at most, I havenāt shaved in God knows how long, my lips are chapped, I donāt even use pajamas because that would mean I have to get dressed in the morning, and I smell like a homeless person. Somehow I managed to reach a new low today. I bled on my clothes and almost convinced myself not to bother changing. Iām the most repulsive, pathetic thing alive and I want to be loved and taken care of so badly even though I don't deserve it.
[Rant/Rave] Budgeting for medicine in my daily calorie intake is probably the lowest I've been
/u/happymasq [5'6'' | CW 106 | BMI 17.18 | 26F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 11:51:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/828a24/budgeting_for_medicine_in_my_daily_calorie_intake/
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Itās lousy enough being sick. How I loathe that my mind compels me to do this.
Why must Nyquil be 90 calories per dose? A shot in the morning and another at night is 180 calories gone. That could be a bowl of oatmeal, or two big apples, or a banana with a dollop of peanut butter. Something with protein and carbs and good fat.
Upping my intake temporarily is unthinkable because the illness has left me weak and lethargic. Iām dogging it at the gym. An hour goes by and Iām not even halfway through my routine.
This, along with general stress, compelled me to purge for the first time in a month. It's not a good feeling. I was making good progress, diligently exercising, avoiding garbage food, even eating above my TDEE to get stronger.
I'm not even terribly sick, either. It's just a cold/flu. It's nothing.
Recovery is fragile, I guess.
[Other] Hmmm..........
/u/catamongthecrows
Created: Mon Mar 5 11:36:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8285qu/hmmm/
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https://i.redd.it/du8kehumozj01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Unsolicited advice from coworkers is the bane of my existence
/u/veravera2 [5ā3 | CW 108 | GW 92]
Created: Mon Mar 5 11:32:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8284hs/unsolicited_advice_from_coworkers_is_the_bane_of/
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Everyone in my office has a life that revolves around food, right now theyāre doing a weight loss competition (I wanted to join but you had to have BMI 19 or above) so itās even worse: theyāre all talking about how much junk food they allow themselves, no carb diets ect, Weāre a restaurant dense city as wellāthe thing to do is talk about the last good thing you ate.
I eat a lean cuisine for lunch almost every day. I suck at portion control and cooking (I canāt be trusted around food), and it calms down my mind to know the exact calorie content. Also, theyāre yummy and filling, and warm! They give me enough energy to do my job and get through the day without crashing.
People in the office found out recently. My boss made fun of me last week and today my coworker came up to me while I was sitting at my desk minding my own business and eating my food, talking about how she could never eat them because theyāre soooooo gross and have no nutrition, about how I need to start making my own food instead. Meanwhile sheās got an iced coffee loaded with sugar and cream and a bistro box from the coffee shop with a pastry, nearly 800 calories!!!
Geez. I donāt know why other people feel the need to lecture me about food and nutrition when I didnāt ask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I donāt care Karen!!!!! Let me eat my microwaved meal in peace!
[Discussion] What's the longest fast you've ever been on?
/u/Kummerspeck101
Created: Mon Mar 5 11:25:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8282ck/whats_the_longest_fast_youve_ever_been_on/
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[removed]
Headaches after binging?
/u/ABlueSongbird
Created: Mon Mar 5 11:09:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/827xgd/headaches_after_binging/
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I had a huge binge for saint patricks day.
Eating everything bready and sweet. Downing soda bread and root beer, cake and whipped cream.
I couldnāt purge cuz I was at a party and people would hear me. First came an awful stomache and after that a splitting headache I still have a day later despite taking Advil.
I donāt want to eat anything sweet ever again. Just the thought of it makes me want to throw up.
Has this happened to anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] My Fitness Pal is going to be the death of me
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 11:01:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/827v04/my_fitness_pal_is_going_to_be_the_death_of_me/
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It has these reminders that say "remember to step on your scale today!" and they pop up two or three times a day on Mondays. And today, after not having weighed for over two months, I thought, "you know what, My Fitness Pal? I *will* weigh today! It would be good to know where I am. Probably around 105, that's about what my measurements look like."
But no. Of course, I'm back up at 110. Because I'm always back up at 110 when I stop weighing for a while and then I start again. It's like that's the only weight my body wants to be, just a few pounds away from being actually underweight. Apparently I can't lose any scale weight at all unless I obsessively check my scale weight and then cry about it every morning. And I thought I was doing *so well* and losing *so much* and * was *so* proud of myself and now it feels like nothing has happened at all. Maybe if I don't eat anything and exercise for two hours every day I can lose four and a half pounds by Friday. The only thing I can do is to do something about it.
[Other] when you're in your mid-twenties but still have an ED and is in between relationships tho
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 115 | 19.7 | meh | 26F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 10:34:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/827nij/when_youre_in_your_midtwenties_but_still_have_an/
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yeah so I've had an ED on/off for like 8 years. On the other hand, I've never kept a man that long before so I guess love is not in the future for me
If ED was a man though I probably won't leave him. He's like a Lana Del Rey song.
[Rant/Rave] **TW** My boyfriend is the ultimate trigger...but I kind of love it.
/u/deadlylikesugar
Created: Mon Mar 5 10:24:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/827ksb/tw_my_boyfriend_is_the_ultimate_triggerbut_i_kind/
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Iāve seen a lot of posts similar to this lately, so Iām sorry if this seems repetitive. I just need a place to vent and get this off my chest.
**Backstory**: Weāve been together for 10 years and he knows that I struggled with an ED in high school (roughly 8 years ago) but never knew the full extent of it. He does not know that I never fully ārecoveredā (my ED has just shifted into many different forms throughout the years) and thinks that itās purely a thing of the past.
Now, with that being said, he has always been very critical and judgmental about what and how much I eat. Granted, my ānormalā brain knows that this isnāt just him trying to be an asshole, nor does it have to do with my weight - itās literally just the way he was raised (his dad is highly Narc and very judgmental about what others eat). But obviously, as Iām sure you guys can imagine, his judgment fucks with my ED brain. He always used to be the biggest trigger in that type of way, but my animosity toward it would end up backfiring and I would end up secretly binging.
After having several very serious talks with him about the problem with his behaviors and how much they hurt me and ābring back my high school ED brain,ā he has made a huge effort to change his ways and has almost completely stopped the criticism.
**Now, to my point**: After a long period of BED, I have semi-recently fallen back into a ārelapseā (I guess itās not really a relapse if I was never fully recovered? lol) of heavy restriction based EDNOS. Iāve lost about 15lbās in the past 3 months. Again, he has no idea that Iām struggling, and is completely and totally blind to ED behaviors. Sometimes his complete ignorance gets me to the point of *trying* to do obviously disordered things in front of him just so that heāll have sooommmme type of inkling of worry. (I donāt even know *why* I think that way and I feel bad admitting to it because I realize that it sounds manipulative.)
Anyway, he has recently been noticing my weight loss and has been complimenting me on how skinny I look. He has even gone so far as to *encourage* me to eat more (which is honestly a shock and a first in our relationship). Heās been putting his hands around my waist (which is naturally the smallest part of my body even when Iām not restricting) and squeezing me saying how ātiiiinyā I am! You. Guys. Hello. Triggering. A. F. Like, I know he just means it as a compliment and is just trying to make me feel good, which I appreciate very much. But at the same time, itās like damn dude, how can you be so clueless?? š
Also, we smoked together the other night and I was saying how badly I was craving one of our (170 cal) ice cream sandwiches and not even feeling guilty about it. Obviously thatās not the best thing to be eating at 9:30pm....but...ya know, it couldāve been a lot worse, right? He said something to me like, āThink of it as a game in your head, and you win by not letting yourself have the ice cream sandwich.ā (yeah, we were pretty high, haha) And oh my gaaaahd I was just stunned. Like, his comment honestly made me worry about *his* relationship with food more than it offended me. But anyway, needless to say, obviously a hugely triggering moment.
Even though I know itās wrong, and I know I should talk to him and ask him not to say/do these triggering things, I literally just want to do the opposite and encourage him. I love how triggering it all is. Itās not triggering in a way that will make me starve and then secretly binge, but it triggers me to keep losing and restricting as much as possible. I know itās sick. Iām just soaking it all up like a sponge. Meh š
P.S. Iām not posting this to complain about him at all & I donāt think he has ill intentions (+ I know a lot of the way I perceive things is skewed, so, I know itās possible Iām just being extra sensitive to this stuff). I literally just wanted to share my experiences lately with people who Iām hoping might be able to relate because this is the only place I have to open up about this type of stuff. Thank you for reading this all-over-the-place, long-winded, mostly pointless post. Haha. Love you all ā¤ļøā¤ļø
[Rant/Rave] alcoholism or anorexia? which we kill me first? tune in to find out!!!
/u/haroshinka [Height 5'2|CW 45.2kg |]
Created: Mon Mar 5 10:23:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/827kr1/alcoholism_or_anorexia_which_we_kill_me_first/
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okay so i read this thing saying when you have an underweight BMI in conjunction with alcoholism you develop this messed up version of dementia which is like 100x worse and i keep asking myself why do i keep messing up my life?? i study law at the best university in the world and have such amazing career prospects yet manage to screw it all up because my mother didn't love me growing up and i was raped when i was 15 and my chronic perfectionism has manifested into my self image perception. please ignore me just need somewhere to rant, not looking for sympathy just want my feelings validated bc humans are innately sociable creatures and no one loves me
[Discussion] Real TDEE calculator,does it exist?
/u/Grosse_personne [5"7 | 171 | 27 | -40lbs/18kgs |female]
Created: Mon Mar 5 10:23:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/827klk/real_tdee_calculatordoes_it_exist/
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I just want to know what I actually should be eating,not what society has set as the limit. 1200 isn't for everyone,but I don't know how to find what my ACTUAL TDEE is ignoring that arbitrary line in the sand.
[Goal] My crush suggested I lose 20lbs
/u/harpooncatz
Created: Mon Mar 5 09:53:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/827cm2/my_crush_suggested_i_lose_20lbs/
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So over the course of the last year I've lost over 50lbs with various methods. I have done high restricting, but I'm mostly someone who binges and feels like shit. I showed my crush my progress and he physically recoiled at pictures of me at my highest weight. Wasn't a great feeling, but oh well, I wasn't taking care of myself so that reaction isn't too unexpected.
Then I showed him pics of me at my lowest weight and he said that he would have chased after me in HS if I looked like that. I immediately turned a bright red. <_>
Right now I'm about 10-15lbs away from my HS weight. He said I would look perfect 20lbs from now, and I'm so motivated to reach that goal. My stupid brain thinks that he'll dump his GF if I reach my goal weight for some reason.
Tonight we're going running together and I just want to make him proud, idk. Why do I have to like people that make me feel competitive with myself lol. Just when I thought I was recovering...
[Intro] I'm so fucking done with everything, time to throw myself into weight loss
/u/obama_means_family
Created: Mon Mar 5 09:24:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8274ao/im_so_fucking_done_with_everything_time_to_throw/
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Hello all!
So I've made a few comments here and there on my main account but I finally decided I need a separate account for this since some people irl know my reddit info. I marked this as intro but it's also a bit of a rant about some shitty recent events.
I honestly couldn't say when the first disordered behaviors showed up because they've been a part of my life for so long. I remember as early as 9 years old feeling like I was way bigger than I should be. I never felt comfortable in my own skin and didn't see why anyone else would either. I would frequently skip breakfast or lunch because although my dad had a good paying job, he also had a dozen kids and a wife who sometimes tutored part time, so lunches from home were cheap sandwiches almost every day. I would take my lunch to school and either throw it out or just bring it back home because I didn't think it was worth it since I didn't like it enough I guess.
Later in middle school I would skip breakfast then trade my entire school lunch (which was fairly decent bc we were in private school) for my best friends' lunch (usually some canned meal like soup or ravioli or whatever) and that one can would be all I ate until dinner.
When I started high school my best friend (and only friend from 4th to 8th grade) and I both switched to different schools. Going from seeing her minimum 5 days a week to maybe once every week or so made my mental health take a huge dive and I started to actively restrict. Sophomore year in high school I said yes to the first guy that asked me out bc my self esteem was so low that I felt like it was my only chance to be wanted. That was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. He wound up being a manipulative/abusive fuckwad. He would coerce me into doing things that I had no interest in (I was never attracted to him so I didn't even like making out with him) by begging until I gave in, and if I didn't seem like I would budge he would guilt trip me or (notably after I had started self harming) threaten to hurt himself if I didn't do what he wanted. When I finally dropped his dead weight after almost a year I thought I would feel better. I did... For like a week and then I went back to feeling awful about myself. I would make tons of food for other people and not eat any myself or if I did I would purge it.
Eventually my life felt so worthless and horrible that I cut open my right arm as sort of practice/to see how hard it would be to cut that deep and planned to commit suicide. I texted a friend I thought would be asleep as a sort of note/final words but he was awake and talked me out of it (at least for the night).
Fast forward about four months and the suicidal ideation hadn't gone away, but I stuck around bc I didn't want my death to hurt the people I cared about. One day I decided that I should try to be happy/normal/not fucked up (no more purging/cutting) and if it didn't work I should just say fuck it and end it all. Then I got asked out by the guy I liked. He knew I was clean from cutting but knew nothing about my disordered eating. Before we started going out he admitted to me that the reason he had previously gotten back together with his ex (who I was friends with) was because he was afraid she would do something stupid and hurt herself (she was a cutter too/had suicidal thoughts). While we were together anytime I got close to relapsing I just thought about him staying with her because of her self harm and managed to stop myself.
Last spring things started to go downhill when I told him that I was having a lot of dark thoughts and was just struggling in general but instead of comforting me he sent me to sleep in a different room and ended the conversation. I think a part of me knew even then that the end was coming, but he was my first love so I fought tooth and nail to stop it. A few weeks before the semester ended he called and told me he wanted to break up but the next day he said he wanted to take a break instead. I asked him point blank if he really meant it and he said yes, but the next two weeks he refused to talk about our problems or what "taking a break" even meant. It was harder bc at that point we were long distance (I spent 3 semesters at a college 100+ miles away) so I couldn't just sit him down and make him talk about it. That lead to me finally relapsing and cutting myself before he officially dumped me over text on our two year anniversary.
I lost 10 lbs over the summer by restricting whenever I could, but when I went back in the fall I wasn't able to restrict bc my friends were aware of how little I ate. I literally had my "mom friend" tell me how much to eat at every meal. That lead to me resorting to purging again after almost 3 years.
This semester I'm back in my hometown working and babysitting my sister's kids. I'm trying not to purge anymore (bc I know it is awful for but I'm not very successful at it. I've made it 10 days so far without cutting which is a good thing I guess.
That brings me to the reason I decided to write this intro/rant/whatever this is. In January I met this guy at a party and we really hit it off. He asked for my snapchat and we started talking every day, I went to a couple parties at his frat house and he hung out with my friend group a couple times. A few weeks ago I went to his Mardi gras party and he put his arm around/pulled me closer to him the whole night. We didn't get a chance to be alone so it didn't go further before I had to leave. On Saturday I saw him at his bday party for the first time since Mardi gras. I was taking shots in the kitchen my other best friend (I have two lol) and she tapped my arm and said "hey don't get too close to [frat guy] tonight" then pointed him out to me so I saw that he had his arm draped over some girl's back. After a bit we all went outside to sit around a fire and I got to watch him across the fire scooting his chair closer to hers and acting flirty/playful so we said fuck it and left even though we'd only been there like 30 minutes.
Last night he snapped me apologizing in case the party was weird for us. I asked what he meant and he said that he was really wasted and was busy paying attention to his gf and friends. Hearing that basically made my heart take a dive bomb. That was the first I'd heard anything about a gf otherwise I would never have been interested in the first place. Either he was being a hoe with me (making me the other woman) at Mardi gras or he didn't start dating her until after that meaning he chose her over me. I don't know which option is worse. I just feel completely awful and unloveable after getting so invested in him. I'm giving up on guys and focusing all my effort into getting to my gw bc maybe when I'm not a fat fuck anymore I'll actually be attractive enough to get a guy.
[Help] Ways to cook vegetables (tomatoes, carrots and leeks) with the less calories possible ?
/u/IHateBloodElves [5'3" | 136 | 25 | -38 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 09:16:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8271y6/ways_to_cook_vegetables_tomatoes_carrots_and/
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Hi !
Do you have a way to cook vegetables without dipping it in sour cream or in oil ? I used to make soup with it but my blender is broken ... I have some vegetables left that I have to cook but I don't want to burn my pan anymore ...
[Thinspo] @sashatattooing has my ultimate goal body, tattoos included
/u/laurdoor [5'7 | 122lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 09:06:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/826zer/sashatattooing_has_my_ultimate_goal_body_tattoos/
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https://i.redd.it/6l03flgvxyj01.jpg
[Help] Does anyone know the calorie count of the vanilla powder at Starbucks?
/u/User820125 [65ā CW: Fuck GW: over and done.]
Created: Mon Mar 5 08:57:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/826wyw/does_anyone_know_the_calorie_count_of_the_vanilla/
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[Discussion] What does your grocery list look like?
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Mon Mar 5 08:51:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/826vbu/what_does_your_grocery_list_look_like/
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Just getting ideas on more safe foods lol
[Other] The color PINK!?!?!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!???
/u/heyheypicklejay
Created: Mon Mar 5 08:50:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/826v45/the_color_pink/
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I was scrolling through old posts here and saw something write about how they tied in the color pink with their eating disorder bc of how dainty and feminine it is and bc they never really bought pink-colored things until their eating was disordered.
Ive suddenly noticed that my whole aesthetic had turned around since developing EDNOS, like everything I buy is covered in soft floral print or a soft pastel color from my phone case to my room decor to my notebooks and planner, even my winter fucking coat is PASTEL fucking PINK.
Has anyone else realized that they're tastes became so ridiculously girly and dainty since developing an ED? (maybe to make up for all the gross behaviors and thoughts that plague you when u have an ED lol)
[Rant/Rave] People are noticing
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 130 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 20 F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 08:16:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/826md8/people_are_noticing/
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Not entirely sure how i feel about this, my Mother In Law noticed and complemented me a few weeks ago now she's worried about me. Trying to force me into eating and such. š§
Everyone else is just either jealous of me or happy for my weight loss. I haven't even lost that much. I'm hovering around 130-135 for the past few months. I have noticed my collar bones stick outmore but other than that, i haven't shrunk any.
Is this body dismorphia that i just can't see what they see? Cause all i see is how much my stomach sticks out and how thick my thighs are. What do they see?
[Rant/Rave] ASPARAGUS SEASON IS STARTING
/u/champu-petal [5'6" | CW: 115 | HW: 152 | F | š champu]
Created: Mon Mar 5 07:43:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/826e0r/asparagus_season_is_starting/
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this is an asparagus appreciation post
3 calories in a spear! and they take forever to eat
roast it with garlic, black pepper, salt, maybe balsamic or even parm if you're feeling a little adventurous
or grill them!
add some cherry tomatoes and stick a poached egg on top and you have a cute lil instagram meal
it's like $1.50 for a POUND where i live
i'm so happy, asparagus is my ultimate safe food
[Discussion] Has anyone ever gotten a colonic?
/u/renewtheplaintiff [5'3 | cw: 99 | gw: 90 | F23]
Created: Mon Mar 5 07:10:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8265vd/has_anyone_ever_gotten_a_colonic/
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[removed]
Covering my tracks
/u/exgravitas [F/25/160 | CW ā¹ļø | GW 48.5]
Created: Mon Mar 5 06:45:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8260c9/covering_my_tracks/
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I didnāt want my mum to know I ate 3 slices of bread and 2 handfuls of her sweet potato chips so I walked to the shops to buy another packet and loaf just so I could refill the 3 slices and 2 handfuls without her realizing Iām a fatass.
Now what do I do with the remaining bread and chips Iāve stashed in my room..
theyāll probably be binged tomorrow..
:ā( killme
[Rant/Rave] bananas are avocados are deceptive evil little rats and i hope they get beaten up
/u/haroshinka [Height 5'2|CW 45.2kg |]
Created: Mon Mar 5 06:37:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/825yst/bananas_are_avocados_are_deceptive_evil_little/
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you come from the earth. like, avocados especially, you're green, you have no business being 400 calories smh. never harboured this much animosity toward an inanimate piece of fruit #justedthings xxx
[Help] Forced myself to throw up for the first time.
/u/CorgiOrBread
Created: Mon Mar 5 06:28:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/825wxl/forced_myself_to_throw_up_for_the_first_time/
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I've had one type of ED or another pretty much my entire life but before this weekend I never forced myself to throw up. I tried a couple times in middle and high school but was never successful so I gave up on trying. Instead I would exercise for hours and hours a day as my purge.
I've been running insane amounts recently and I'm just so tired. Saturday I ate too much food and suddenly decided I should try to force myself to puke. I waited too long and it was largely unsuccessful but I did manage to purge a little and I think it made something click in my brain. Last night I completely binged and then purged immediately after. Afterwards I felt so much better. It was so much easier to purge all that food that way than to spend all day today on a treadmill.
I'm really scared though. This road isn't one I want to go down. I'm afraid of what it will do to my teeth and my internal organs. Obviously my throat isn't built for stomach acid. I'm really afraid I opened a door I won't be able to close. Normally I lean on my fiance a lot when it comes to support for my ED but I don't think this is something I want him to know about. At least not yet.
[Discussion] March 5th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 05:57:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/825qqp/march_5th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What is your favorite word (right now)?
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! March 05, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 5 05:14:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/825ikw/weekly_stats_update_march_05_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for March 05, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 05, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 5 05:14:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/825ik9/daily_food_diary_march_05_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 05, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] When you bought food for binge but once home, after a binge or not, you don't want it anymore, what do you do with it ?
/u/IHateBloodElves [5'3" | 136 | 25 | -38 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 03:54:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82556k/when_you_bought_food_for_binge_but_once_home/
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Hi, as written, do you throw out your food ? Do you eat it anyway ? Do you give it to someone else ? I always feel guilty about throwing it out (well, I feel guiltier about eating it anyway).
Can I lose 15-20 lb in the next 11 weeks or am I nuts to hope so?
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Mon Mar 5 03:19:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/824znl/can_i_lose_1520_lb_in_the_next_11_weeks_or_am_i/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] is there really any other way to perceive me?
/u/loserden
Created: Mon Mar 5 03:18:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/824zkx/is_there_really_any_other_way_to_perceive_me/
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my face is always different. Every photo, every mirror, every reflection, where as everyone else stays the same. What is it about my mind that allows me to perceive myself so differently for no apparent reason, i feel like my body is just a shell that i change from day to day. Some days i like my face and some days i dont, but there will always be something off about it, either i feel like there is no soul behind my own eyes leaving me looking dead on the outside, or i feel like this image of myself could be broken in a heartbeat by just a single photo or a single room with bad lighting, its so hard to imagine everyone else sees me in any other way, my perception just seems so distorted but also so real. Sometimes i will look at my face and see myself as i was years and years ago or is that what i look like now? It really is the biggest mind fuck, the greatest mystery in my life has became what i look like, and all i have to do is look in the mirror but my brain wont accept it. I could scroll through google images after searching "ugliest people" and still think they have it better off than me because they have a face, like thats what they look like, thats them. But i think the problem is i cant associate me with a single person, i have so many different appearances that it makes me not really feel "real" or human because of my disorder i base my whole self worth or personality on my appearance. Deep down i think i know that i am attractive i just want to be able to see it
[Discussion] How quickly did you lose?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 5 02:28:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/824rwl/how_quickly_did_you_lose/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/824rwl/how_quickly_did_you_lose/
[Help] Appetite suppressants
/u/lyssaline
Created: Mon Mar 5 02:23:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/824r3q/appetite_suppressants/
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[removed]
[Tip] preventing hair loss :(
/u/_chamomile
Created: Mon Mar 5 02:21:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/824qy5/preventing_hair_loss/
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[removed]
Need to drop weight fast.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 5 01:37:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/824kb5/need_to_drop_weight_fast/
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[deleted]
New poster needs some advice
/u/charlottelxo7
Created: Mon Mar 5 00:10:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8246iz/new_poster_needs_some_advice/
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[removed]
[Other] I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!
/u/Eau_De_Chloroform
Created: Sun Mar 4 23:51:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8243ek/i_feel_like_im_taking_crazy_pills/
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One of my friends that I'm constantly comparing myself to (I'm smaller than her, right?! Is my leg smaller than hers??? How big are her arms next to mine??! What size are those pants???) just told me her weight today.
She is literally almost 100 lbs heavier than me.
In what fucking world does my brain conclude that we are so close in size that I have to obsess about it?! Like....who disabled my basic spatial recognition when I wasn't looking??? I legit have asked my BF out loud if she's bigger or smaller than me because I wasn't sure.
It feels like a twilight zone episode.
[Discussion] Does anyone else have two totally different modes?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 22:51:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/823swe/does_anyone_else_have_two_totally_different_modes/
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I have one mode that's like "super control freak, work out an hour every day and eat nothing, managing all my work to a T", and then another mode that's like, "binge all the time gets nothing done no work no workouts just sitting doing nothing". It's so frustrating because I wish I could be in control mode all the time but a switch just flips in my head from one to another whenever it wants? Does anyone else feel this way?
How do you explain/verbalise to loved ones how it is that ED behaviours work as a coping mechanism?
/u/exhaustedstudent
Created: Sun Mar 4 22:00:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/823jc8/how_do_you_explainverbalise_to_loved_ones_how_it/
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Hey guys,
I find it really hard to explain to my family that my eating disorder is not about making them suffer/trying to bother others, they cannot seem to shake this idea that itās a purposeful attempt to attack the family or something.
This just fuels conflict which pushes me further into relying on the comfort of the ED and pushes me from seeking any help or saying Iām not okay.
Iāve tried really hard to explain from my perspective why I believe this first developed and how it has ended up being something I fall to as a coping mechanism when things are difficult. I think because a lot of the origins of the disorder come from trauma and stress relating to my parentsā divorce and the years of instability afterwards, they can not grasp that by explaining I am not blaming. I just feel like if Iām not allowed to acknowledge that I was badly damaged I am not being allowed to also learn and grow from that. It feels like the only acceptable narrative for them is that I am inherently bad/damaged/selfish, and I have realised after a couple of relapses that this is not conducive to anything helpful and is just stuffing more and more negative self belief and blame into my brain and making me very confused.
Had anyone ever managed to successfully develop a supportive relationship/environment with family where they understand but donāt necessarily enable/accept the disorder and behaviours?
[Help] Do I have to gain to get my period back?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 115?? | "recovery/maintaining" | F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 21:50:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/823hep/do_i_have_to_gain_to_get_my_period_back/
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Sorry for not flairing--I'm on mobile.
My period started acting wonky the week I started high restricting, back in mid-October. I haven't had it since then, except for a brief week in January (post-holiday binging) where my uterus *really tried* to fight back.
I'm "maintaining" (AKA eating slightly below TDEE to ensure no gainz) now, and getting sort of worried. Life without a period is fantastic, but after reading about complications like osteoporosis, I'm wondering what to do. I really, really don't want to gain right now because I'm actually comfortable where I am, for once.
[Rant/Rave] protip: NEVER buy frozen meals containing shrimp
/u/Zurthrow [5'4| CW:126 | 22F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 21:30:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/823dn2/protip_never_buy_frozen_meals_containing_shrimp/
---
I just had a Lean Cuisine angel hair pasta and shrimp meal, cooked it according to directions plus an extra 5 seconds, thought the shrimp looked a little too clear but ate it anyway (I thought hey- I followed the directions and the shrimp shrunk to a tiny size so it's probably fine, frozen meals are just odd like that right?). 5 minutes later I'm having intense abdominal cramps and diarrhea so I decided to purge it all to lessen the damage and hopefully avoid full-on food poisoning. I hadn't purged in months and now I've got those crazy puke dots all over my face :-) fucking yay me!!
[Help] Feel like I am dying, my body hurts so bad.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sun Mar 4 21:17:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/823bb5/feel_like_i_am_dying_my_body_hurts_so_bad/
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I am laying here honestly feeling and wishing I would just die.
Had a weird day, kinda out of body, ate way to much and am laying here. My body and mind feel sick, Iām so nauseous but can not even bring myself to purge, maybe that would help though.
I just keep falling in and out of it while writing this out.
Iāve been restricting well for over a month and my binge days havenāt been this bad. I am shaking and sweating and I just donāt know what to do.
My cat has not left my side all day, itās weird, but I love him for it.he is a very large breed and really emotional itās, the one thing I have.
I donāt think Iāve noticed my decline lately. I have not took a selfie or photo of by body in months which is rare for me since I track so much. Iām just too exhausted I think.
I just took a picture of my arm and I feel scared, I hate myself I feel nothing and everything. My body feels like it may explode and I have no idea if I can go to work tomorrow.
I hate everything about me right now. I have no idea what I am doing.
[Help] Went from eating disorder to bulking but body dystrophia stuck around
/u/rynster2233
Created: Sun Mar 4 21:13:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/823ahh/went_from_eating_disorder_to_bulking_but_body/
---
So I was really fat when I was like 14-15 so I lost weight but eventually became really obsessed and became underweight and super restrictive. All the while I struggled with body dysmorphia and so desperately wanted to look normal. Now that I am lifting weights and bulking I still feel abnormal and terrible about my body. Itās just so frustrating because Iāve been trying to get my body to a point where I can be confident for almost 3 years now and I still am not where I want to be. I feel like I will be ok once I build enough muscle and then diet once again but it doesnāt even feel like Iām building any muscle. Itās extremely frustrating and discouraging and totally ruins my day to think of how dissatisfied I am and jealous of my friends who are naturally good looking. I just really wish I could stop worrying or see progress
[Discussion] What's the saddest ED thing you've done recently?
/u/lesjonquilles [5'6 | 118 | GW 102]
Created: Sun Mar 4 21:05:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8238w0/whats_the_saddest_ed_thing_youve_done_recently/
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[Discussion] What are your favorite sad songs? Not necessarily ED related
/u/lesjonquilles [5'6 | 118 | GW 102]
Created: Sun Mar 4 21:02:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8238cs/what_are_your_favorite_sad_songs_not_necessarily/
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[Rant/Rave] Shit my sister....
/u/lesjonquilles [5'6 | 118 | GW 102]
Created: Sun Mar 4 20:48:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8235hi/shit_my_sister/
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So I went and visited her today. She's always been thin (like 5'4 115 lbs) but today I went and saw her and DAMN. She had a baby like 4 months ago and has already lost all the baby weight plus like 15 more pounds. I'm triggered and worried at the same time, I hope she's not going through this too
[Rant/Rave] Anybody else try to lie to themselves and say shit like "maybe that asshole guy will like me again" as motivation to lose weight?
/u/lesjonquilles [5'6 | 118 | GW 102]
Created: Sun Mar 4 20:46:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8234xr/anybody_else_try_to_lie_to_themselves_and_say/
---
Ngl, still majorly hung up on a guy who did some bad shit to me in the fall. He cheated on me, and I keep telling myself that it's because I was fat (I was 5'6 and 114 lbs at the time) when in reality he doesn't give a shit about my weight, the girl he cheated on me with was definitely overweight if not obese. Lol anything to delude myself into thinking that weight loss will make my life better
^he's ^so ^hot ^though
[Rant/Rave] The light switch
/u/glossboy
Created: Sun Mar 4 20:45:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8234tk/the_light_switch/
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I just spent an exhausting weekend with a friend that I had to force myself to eat with. And of course I couldn't just eat normally for both those days... if I was eating... I had to go all the way right? God knows how much I ate in the city. At least I had a good time with my friend.
I feel so exhausted because I feel like I have to "switch" on and off with my ed when I'm outside with people.
I'm normally very secluded and don't hang with many people so I'm fortunate to have a lot of alone time but... when I hang with my super close friends I became so good at acting like a person without a problem. I always talk as if I had the biggest meal the day before or I just talk about *how* much I love food and ~ can't ~ live without it. It all just feels like bs.
I have to clear my history and open this sub in incognito in fear of anyone finding out. I had a heart attack the other day when my friend came over because I realized I had this incognito window opened just minimized.
When I know I won't see anyone for a long time, I bring out my sticky notes with all of my meal plans and calorie planned days. My dangerous food list and my safe food list... Then I log into my thinspo pinterest to keep myself reminded.
I'm so anxious that I won't clean up perfectly and one of them will find my stash of fucked up ed shit.
[Rant/Rave] The last 10llbs.
/u/mylittlebony_ [5'3"| 110 | 19.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 20:45:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8234oz/the_last_10llbs/
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Iāve been sitting at just 10llbs above my goal weight for the past several months, and it seems like no matter what I do I canāt get the last ten to come off.
Fasting, cardio, carb cycling, cleanses, etc. I feel like such a failure. Iāve felt like such a loser since I left college.
No career direction, constantly fucking up at the job I do have, pathetic dating life, virtually no friends...losing weight was the one thing I was always good at and now I donāt even have that.
I canāt even begin to focus on fixing the other parts of my life because I am so fucking fixated on these last 10llbs. I wish I could just cut my body open and suck the fat out myself for my own goddamn sanity.
[Rant/Rave] Lost and Losing Hope
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW 116? | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Sun Mar 4 20:21:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/822zz2/lost_and_losing_hope/
---
God what a shit-show these last few months have been...
Fall into horrible binge-purging back in late November, get stuck in alternating binging-fasting for a couple months, end up mostly binging, get to the point now where I can't hardly go more than 24 hours without stuffing my fucking face any more.
Move across the country, live alone, start school at a new university, struggle with academics for the first time in my God-damn life, get too anxious, stop going to classes, miss three weeks and who knows how many exams, become paralyzed and give up on the semester...
Seek treatment for my eating at the campus health center, have literally the worst therapy experience I've ever had, get given the run-around being told they can't treat me, get recommended a handful of therapists who are either sketchy as fuck or are Christian-based (Thanks that's really what I need) and none of them even specialize in eating disorders...
Car battery dies, too fucking anxious to call for help to get it fixed, tell my mom I'm struggling and she tries to convince me to give up and come home, too anxious to tell my dad or my brother, throw away a friendship because I'm depressed all the fucking time...
I just.. I don't know what to do any more. I'm constantly suicidal, I've started self-harming again, I drink basically every night, and obviously my eating is fucked (Plus I can't even like hardly go to the store to buy decent food so I've been throwing together shit that I have lying around... today was basically hard-tack).
I'm half-tempted to just walk to a hospital and be like "hey look I'm crazy as fuck figure it out." The more metered side of me is like call the eating disorder clinic yourself. Part of me says give up everything and start looking for a job so you can at least pay the bills since I've thrown away everything else. Part of me wants to run back home to my mom and just give up again.
But ultimately I just have so many loose ends that I don't know how to tie up between school and where I'm living and my family and my friends and life in general and I'm so incredibly overwhelmed that instead I sit here paralyzed in fear and just waiting for something to happen, good or bad at this point.
I don't know what I expect from saying all this except maybe some catharsis.. But if anyone has any advice to offer me I'm all ears because I seriously don't know what to do any more.
[Intro] First post
/u/Firerose157 [5'3" | 118 lbs | F ]
Created: Sun Mar 4 20:18:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/822zbq/first_post/
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Tired, hate looking in the mirror, tired of bloating from not eating, sick of stomach pain and feeling like I could pass out from stress. Tired of destroying the body I started to love through "unintentionally" restricting. No desire to eat but have to keep that body for my partner. I want to starve and watch the numbers on the scale drop as the stress gets worse. The more my life falls apart, the more I want an escape or something to hold onto. I want to be curvy but have everyone tell me I'm skinny and see the weight on that scale as a number I have yet to find satisfying - of course you remind me how this can't be. You said you don't want skinny, you have to eat to keep your curves and curvy isn't skinny. I don't want to be really skinny, but I want to feel skinny, have everyone say how thin I am, call me petite. I'm so confused, I worked out excessively in high school and got to be "thick" with a thin waist, very happy with the way I looked (or was I?) but now I have no desire to look a certain way, to work out much or eat, I kinda want to fade away, be 100 lbs but still curvy and without eating. I feel afraid to tell anyone what's going through my head, just stay quiet. I have more to tell you, but I feel so lost, afraid to say the wrong thing. I don't know what I want anymore. I feel like I'm in a shell, doing what I need to keep everyone satisfied but not enough, I see everything crumbling but I don't have the drive to do anything about it. I don't know. Thanks for listening guys, I'm sorry.
Me my whole life
/u/321Model [5'4 | 30s F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 20:12:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/822y4j/me_my_whole_life/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmtkNrufSwQ
[Help] Help please!!! First time opening up to a specialist
/u/beatrizpardo
Created: Sun Mar 4 19:51:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/822tqt/help_please_first_time_opening_up_to_a_specialist/
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I am going to see a psychiatrist tomorrow and i am very amxious and nervous i have never openly spoken about my disroder and i am very scared. Does anyone have any tips please??
[Rant/Rave] Iāve never felt so terrible about myself
/u/ayybih
Created: Sun Mar 4 19:18:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/822mfx/ive_never_felt_so_terrible_about_myself/
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I have seriously never felt so low and worthless in my life. I feel like the most unlovable creature on the planet. Gollum has more redeeming qualities than me. A rock has more redeeming qualities than me. Iāve been trying to reach out and have friends and go on dates but I canāt even talk to people because I feel like I have nothing of value to add. I feel ugly and grotesque and fat. I feel boring. I feel like Iām too mean and sarcastic. If I try being kind, I feel like a faker and I feel like deep down inside Iām just a mean person. I donāt know whatās wrong with me. I binge to cover up my feelings and then restrict to punish myself. Why am I like this. I wish I could restart life as a different person.
Rewarding a puke sesh
/u/tablespoonmoon
Created: Sun Mar 4 19:10:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/822kn6/rewarding_a_puke_sesh/
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This makes no logical sense, but I just got home and had a puke session (gross I know I really prefer not to do this, but the damage was done) Anyways after the puking I just ate a whole Hershey bar. It was just so odd and stupid how I was rewarding myself with more food... but for some reason my brains always like no chocolates different. Calories are calories tho :( I am happy with myself tho and content with these decisions even if it is illogical.
(cw: vomit, gross shit) okay I really fucked up and threw up in the shower instead of the toilet like I usually do and now it won't drain
/u/throwaway1935935
Created: Sun Mar 4 18:54:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/822heb/cw_vomit_gross_shit_okay_i_really_fucked_up_and/
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I live alone so there isn't really a time crunch, but still. I have no plunger!!!! Any advice? this ever happened to anyone else?
Minor Nervous breakdown
/u/oFILo
Created: Sun Mar 4 18:25:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/822asb/minor_nervous_breakdown/
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Having a minor nervous breakdown because I have only been able to eat cold hot dogs wrapped in white bread for 2 days and I feel fat as hell I wish I could leap put of my mind for like 5 seconds
[Other] FYI: halo top has increased the calories for every flavor. Notice how much chocolate has gone up. I'm really upset right now.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 4 18:10:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8227hc/fyi_halo_top_has_increased_the_calories_for_every/
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https://imgur.com/5j3S1Wi
[Help] How long does it take to get rid of the water weight from a high calorie day?
/u/vitalogy95 [5'5" | CW: 155 | BMI: 25.79 | GW: 115 | HW: 176]
Created: Sun Mar 4 17:56:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8224cy/how_long_does_it_take_to_get_rid_of_the_water/
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I know I didnāt actually gain much fat, definitely less than a pound, but I still ate 600 cals over maintenance and it was crappy food that is going to make me retain like crazy. I really just canāt bare to feel and see the extra water weight on my body on top of how bad I already feel.
How long would it take me to pee it out if I start drinking extra water and fasting? What else helps to get rid of it faster besides water pills?
I FINALLY FOUND HALO TOP IN MY CITY
/u/Sharkiiie [5'9"| CW: 166lbs | 24.07 | WL: 25lbs| F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 17:14:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/821ucj/i_finally_found_halo_top_in_my_city/
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I'm Canadian and I've been looking regularly. Friend of mine posted on Instagram that she found some at Metro. I went to two different stores and stocked up! I bought cookies and cream, pancakes and waffles, cookie dough, and caramel macchiato! I just had a spoonful of pancakes and waffles and I'm in love! I hit 166lbs this morning, so the want to "celebrate" is strong, but the Halo Top will help with that!
Regular halo top eaters, what's your favourite flavour?
[Discussion] Favorite calorie counting apps?
/u/Sylinse
Created: Sun Mar 4 16:55:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/821pwx/favorite_calorie_counting_apps/
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https://i.imgur.com/3bgwqr4.jpg
[Other] When you start a new diet and go shopping with high hopes that only end up in disappointment
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 16:34:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/821l7f/when_you_start_a_new_diet_and_go_shopping_with/
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https://i.redd.it/i919qano0uj01.png
I canāt feel full
/u/1800booti [5'6 | 160 | 25.8 | -5 | f]
Created: Sun Mar 4 15:16:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/82127b/i_cant_feel_full/
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Iāve been full on binging for all of 2018, pretty much. This year has been absolutely terrible so far and the only thing I can find comfort in is food. No matter what I eat and how much I eat I am still hungry within an hour. So I keep eating, and eating.
I take vitamins every day, a protein shake, drink water, but I canāt stay full.
Iāve fallen completely off the rails and Iām back to where I was when I started. Eating a normal amount of food seems like major restricting to my stomach right now. What do I do?
[Goal] How do you go about weighing?
/u/ricemask
Created: Sun Mar 4 15:13:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8211gi/how_do_you_go_about_weighing/
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I just bought a scale. I also have a huge white board calendar as well and want to track everything... what are your weighing rituals and how do your record them?
[Discussion] Anyone lick the dust off of chips and throw the chip itself away??
/u/marbete
Created: Sun Mar 4 15:12:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8211bz/anyone_lick_the_dust_off_of_chips_and_throw_the/
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I do this with everything. I lick the salt/seasoning off chips and just throw the chip away. I never really thought it was an ED thing until I started to get obsessive about how many calories iām getting from licking hot cheetos.
[Intro] I decided to try recovery before Christmas but after a month long binge I'm back on my bullshit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 4 14:45:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/820u6c/i_decided_to_try_recovery_before_christmas_but/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] After rapid weight loss, I'm considered thin for the first time in my life. I don't feel triumphant. In fact, I don't feel anything.
/u/FromMyIvoryTower [5'3 | CW: 105 | BMI: 20.2 | GW: 80 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 14:41:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/820t7t/after_rapid_weight_loss_im_considered_thin_for/
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I know my stats are far from emaciated, but I live in a state where obesity in the norm. I've been slightly overweight for the majority of my life, so the contrast should be jarring, right? Apparently not. I've always felt obtrusive and cumbersome, as if I'm a groggy giant trying to squeeze into a dollhouse, and I assumed losing weight would solve that. It just worsened it. I want to dwindle away to absolutely nothing. I wish I were just a brain in a jar and that I didn't have to deal with occupying a body, or that I could just unzip my skin and walk out and be free. I'm weirdly fixated on looking pure and childlike, but my chest and hips have barely decreased at all. I feel dirty. I know that losing more weight won't alleviate this feeling but the lack of change has only increased my zeal, except this time I have no hope. I don't even have a reason. I know this is semi-coherent at best, but I needed to get it out somewhere.
[Discussion] what's your fav thing about your body?
/u/cisheterpatriarchy [5'6 | 146lbs | GW: 116lbs]
Created: Sun Mar 4 14:34:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/820rdd/whats_your_fav_thing_about_your_body/
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pls don't say nothing :( i really hope there is something you all like about your body.
i like my collarbones because they're sharp and i don't know i think everyone has protruding collarbones anyway but i really love sharp collarbones they're so pleasing to me
[Discussion] high volume / low calorie office snacks?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | "maintaining" | 22f]
Created: Sun Mar 4 13:18:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8208bu/high_volume_low_calorie_office_snacks/
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for those of us who work office jobs! i never eat meals at work because i like low-calorie stuff i can take a long time to eat. like carrot sticks (v loud and crunchy tho), good thins crackers, etc.!
what are ur favorite low calorie but high volume snacks?
[Discussion] Anyone go from living independently to moving back home? How the hell did you cope?
/u/catsrule-humansdrool [5'5 | SW 211 | CW 184 | BMI 30.6 | 23F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 13:07:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8205j0/anyone_go_from_living_independently_to_moving/
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I've been graduated from college for almost a year now and I haven't lived at home since I left for college almost five years ago. I've really only had an ED for 2-3 months, but I'm back at my parent's place this weekend for my sister's birthday and this is so hard on my mental state. I'm moving back in temporarily in June while I'm between jobs (my lease will be up but my new job won't start until July). My family sucks at eating healthy and eats a lot of their meals out at restaurants, so that's where most of my anxiety/paranoia is coming from. I've been here less than 24 hours and already had a panic attack over eating... I honestly have no idea how I'm going to deal when I actually move back for a few weeks. Any tips or advice to mentally prepare myself? I am planning to be in recovery at that point, I just have to lose ~20 more pounds between then and now for my new job (they have BMI requirements).
[Rant/Rave] I gained 5lbs, and I don't know how to cope with it.
/u/ElectricalDeer87 [5' 7.5" | 152lbs | +5lbs | Goal: 95 lbs | BMI 22.4 | 16F | Gay]
Created: Sun Mar 4 12:19:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81zto3/i_gained_5lbs_and_i_dont_know_how_to_cope_with_it/
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Hey..
I just repaired our old household scale that my mom tried to throw out a while back because it was broken. Yeah.
And then it showed me 152lbs. Empty stomach, not a lot of water stored. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This is the fattest I've been in so long. And I can't handle it.
These kinds of things really motivate me to hurt myself badly and I hope I don't.
[Discussion] Does anyone else want to recover?
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Sun Mar 4 11:50:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81zmd6/does_anyone_else_want_to_recover/
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Stupid question I know. I want to recover so bad but I donāt know how. Iāve not been diagnosed with any eating disorders but I know my eating habits are disordered and dangerous. Tbh I want someone to tell me I need help and give me permission to eat but I canāt bring myself to do it.
[Help] Question for people in recovery?
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sun Mar 4 11:31:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81zhkr/question_for_people_in_recovery/
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So I am obviously all over the place.
I cannot eat by myself or I feel immense guilt, but when I let myself eat with others I donāt really feel bad about it and I enjoy myself. The past couple months I have been eating more with other people and I actually feel normal in those moments and I donāt stress about how much I am eating, I donāt even really consider it a binge- just normal overeating that anyone would do.
I have gained a lil bit, but all my clothes still fit. I honestly think of it as relationship weight cause I am super happy in a new relationship so my ed tends to take the back burner. Which is great!! Until I step on the scale, or spend time by myself.
I donāt think I am recovering but sometimes I just feel so normal and I want to know how you guys who are recovering deal with gaining weight or just feeling fluffy? I rationally know that I am a healthy weight and my size 0s and xs still fit so obviously Iām not as big as I feel- but you guys know that any kind of weight gain makes us feel huge. Any tips on making myself believe itās ok?
Also I am worried about developing BED- I definitely over eat, but itās not like a compulsion for me to eat (only occasionally). I donāt know where happy eating and overindulgence stops and bingeing begins... mainly I can handle a couple lbs but I canāt handle consistently gaining weight...
BASICALLY I just want to feel like Iām actually living like a normal person and not letting myself go and that my weight wonāt get out of control and itās ok to be 110 and not losing weight.
I know there obviously wonāt be a lot of recovered people here but anything would help. Half the time I feel fine (when Iām w my bf honestly) then the other half I feel like a whale getting out of control. I just need fuel to feed my rational brain and not my ed brain.
[Discussion] Is it just me or is everyone in a binge phase
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sun Mar 4 11:11:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81zci7/is_it_just_me_or_is_everyone_in_a_binge_phase/
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Including me. From most of the posts Iāve seen lately it seems like a lot of us are stuck with bingeing lately.
I wonder what it is??
Makes me feel a lil bit better about my bingeing, but at the same time seeing people get too far gone with bingeing and gain real weight it super scares me.
Me Right Now:
/u/theglossiernerd
Created: Sun Mar 4 10:52:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81z7u0/me_right_now/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Friend started counting calories and skipping myself, so I need to do better than her.
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Sun Mar 4 10:48:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81z6t8/friend_started_counting_calories_and_skipping/
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My best friend recently asked me to make a meal plan for her. I did and she lost weight on the first week (although it wasn't too restrictive, just a normal diet). But now she's talking about skipping meals. She asked my opinion on skipping dinner and I just said "I don't want to say anything because I can't encourage you". Which is true, I don't want her to develop disordered eating habits. But also I don't want her to lose weight and be better at restricting than I am. She's tall and skinny and honestly I'm jealous (lol what a shitty friend, but let's blame my ED).
Also yesterday we ate out and she was checking the calories and that annoyed me for some reason.
So yeah, I need to stop binging and start restricting and lose weight again so I can be skinnier than her.
[Help] Does anyone else here have Orthorexia Nervosa? I could really use some advice with treatment.
/u/Openworldgamer47
Created: Sun Mar 4 10:36:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81z3vx/does_anyone_else_here_have_orthorexia_nervosa_i/
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I'm barely eating at all. I'm already extremely underweight but I'm losing more. I don't know what to eat. Or how to eat it. I can't stand vegetables despite being a vegan.
[Discussion] March 4th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 10:27:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81z1lp/march_4th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What would you like to ask your mother?
March forth everyone!
How much damage do you think this was :(
/u/Bloppitt [5'2 | 131 | -42 lbs | 23F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 10:15:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81yyw3/how_much_damage_do_you_think_this_was/
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I went out with my friends to a buffet style Chinese food restaraunt about a day ago, against my will. I was 30 days no binge. I logged all the food and somehow it came out to 3,800 calories on top of the 1500 I had already had that day. Tried posting in other subs but people just shit on me saying ānobody made you eat the food.ā I never go out to eat cause of this exact fear. I ate a few cups of fried rice, 3 pieces of chicken thigh, 10 fried dumplings, half cup of fried tempura, some sesame oil and sauce on it, 1.5 drinks of soju, lettuce, 3/4 cup churro bites, a cup of sweet potato sticks, a bag of caramels and a box of Pocky.
I logged it into MyFitnessPal but judging by the fact that I am STILL swollen after 1 day of not eating anything (so I can subtract 1200 calories) I feel like I gained weight. This sucks. I wasnāt even hungry, I was just nervous.
[Rant/Rave] Resisted pizza
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 4 09:48:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ysah/resisted_pizza/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ysah/resisted_pizza/
[Help] How old do you have to be to be able to purchase primatene or bronkaid?
/u/slimeywizard
Created: Sun Mar 4 09:43:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81yqzb/how_old_do_you_have_to_be_to_be_able_to_purchase/
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[removed]
[Help] A couple of questions
/u/americanhorrors [5'11 | CW 145 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 09:15:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ykhr/a_couple_of_questions/
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[removed]
[Tip] Tip: Obsessed with body checking every time you go to the bathroom? Get a toilet light.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | went to treatment | send help | 24F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 08:55:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81yfz5/tip_obsessed_with_body_checking_every_time_you_go/
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Every time I pee (which is like 12 times a day since I'm fasting and drinking like 3 liters of liquids every day) I always have the urge to body check when I pass the bathroom mirror. I remembered I ordered a motion activated toilet light from China and finally installed it. All you have to do is put 2 batteries in and hang it on the side of the toilet (under the lid, on top of the bowl). Anyways, now that I don't have to turn the light on when I go to the bathroom, the lack of overhead light prevents me from body checking/seeing into the mirror.
I know body checking is one of the biggest thing people with ED's struggle with. We can't help it. But not being able to see my body majority of the time when I'm in the bathroom/near a mirror really helps give me a peace of mind. If I'm constantly body checking, I find something new that's "wrong" with my body even if my body checks are 20 minutes apart.
Most of us will always be unhappy with our bodies but I feel like at the least we can do something to eliminate even a tiny bit of that stress :)
[Rant/Rave] Iām having major trust issues rn
/u/ignorado [š: ignorado]
Created: Sun Mar 4 08:37:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ybr2/im_having_major_trust_issues_rn/
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https://i.redd.it/8r4pvfcnnrj01.jpg
[Help] Low Calorie Hangover Foods ?
/u/kat-official [5'5" | CW: 135.6 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | -90 lbs lost from HW | 16F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 08:17:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81y7k9/low_calorie_hangover_foods/
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Anyone know of any ? I got wasted and binged last night. :(
Can I get some brutal honesty...do I look fatter than I am? (BMI 18.9-19.2 with bloat)
/u/AnimalCount
Created: Sun Mar 4 07:46:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81y1kb/can_i_get_some_brutal_honestydo_i_look_fatter/
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https://imgur.com/a/TEYgd
[Goal] I am potentially back in the 60s!
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 69.6 -70.4 lbs | 13.2-3| forced into recovery]
Created: Sun Mar 4 07:36:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81xzj2/i_am_potentially_back_in_the_60s/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Bulimia side effects?
/u/thinandmint [5' | 108 | GW 90 | š thinandmint]
Created: Sun Mar 4 07:25:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81xxlg/bulimia_side_effects/
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Curious about what kind of side effects other bulimics are dealing with, and how long/often you purge.
Personally I get terrible nausea whenever I ride in the car for even just 5 minutes, or sometimes for no reason at all. I also burp like CRAZY which is super embarrassing. Before the bulimia I never had either of these problems. Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna throw up involuntarily if I eat a big meal.
Pretty sure I fucked up my lower esophageal sphincter. I take Prilosec which definitely helps even though I don't really feel the "burn" component of heartburn.
Haven't noticed any change in my teeth yet.
I've been bulimic for about 1.5 years.
What are you guys dealing with?
[Rant/Rave] first times binging
/u/atramw [5'7|CW:120lbs|GW:110lbs|-25lbs|F15]
Created: Sun Mar 4 06:34:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81xogs/first_times_binging/
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My first time posting here. After months of slow but constant weight loss and restricting i've started being so hungry. i just can't stop eating, it's never enough. Normal food doesn't make me feel full at all. I'm pretty sure i got addicted to cheerios and i've already eaten almost the whole big packaging today, aka about 400g which is like 1600kcal. I feel so disgusting, that's the most i've eaten in months. I don't even want to eat them anymore, i just want those goddamn little shits to be gone. I've asked my parents to stop buying food that triggers me, but they just tell me to control myself. I'm trying really hard but i just can't. I've gained about 3lbs in the last few days and i look so bad, i feel like a fucking whale.
I'm so sorry for this rant, i just have no one to talk to and i really needed to get this off my chest. No one tries to understand what i'm going through and i don't get it myself, i'm so lost.
[Other] Was going to send this to a friend, but I figured here would be a better use
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 45 kg | 18F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 05:49:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81xhgy/was_going_to_send_this_to_a_friend_but_i_figured/
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Settle in with a nice cup of tea or sugar-free Red Bull. This is a bit long.
A few hours ago, I woke up from a dream where I'd told my parents. We were filling out the paperwork for therapy sessions. They were, not me. My dad was reading it and said, "Five-zero is the [??] point. They're not going to say gain or lose." Which seemed kind of strange, especially without a unit. Sounds more like a height, to be honest, and I don't see how I could lose height. Maybe kilos? But that would put me well into the underweight range. Not that that's something I wouldn't want, though I shouldn't, but it seems dangerous and unprofessional to set a maintenance weight there. That's my second goal weight (approximately anyway, I can't decide between the evenness of 50 kg and the evenness of an 18.5 BMI).
We were trying to figure out when to schedule the first appointment, and apparently I had my dance recital to work around*, so I wouldn't be able to do it that weekend. It felt like a Monday or Tuesday, so I don't know why my impulse was to hold off until the following week. The office was small, or so I knew, so it wouldn't have been a scheduling issue.
I couldn't see myself, so I didn't know if I'd gotten lower by this dream time. Probably not. Explains the almost relaxed atmosphere of reading and filling out the forms.
>*This point I thought about a bit more after waking up, and I figured it was silly because I'd still have "two more months of school" (in Germany, but the recital and I were back home?). Dreams are weird.
Also after waking up, I thought about the idea of therapy some more. And I found I don't want it, even though I guess I should. My mother would see it as a last resort on behalf of the price, and my father on behalf of his wallet. I think I've gotten this attitude of "let's talk it out, let's fix this ourselves" from her. And it *would* be incredibly expensive. I can forget about inpatient, too. That won't happen until I'm on the brink of heart failure, for all of these reasons.
Also, I just don't care. I feel like I suddenly don't care about a lot of things. The definition of anorexia (NB: not AN) is a loss of appetite, usually a symptom of something. I haven't been interested in eating for the past few days. I know I get hungry, I can feel that, but I'm so apathetic toward it. This means, thankfully, I also don't care about/have no desire to engage in bingeing anymore, but for some reason it makes me feel even less validated. More normal. Even though I'm low to medium restricting (unintentionally, for the most part), and keeping a food log (haven't really been doing calories, though), and doing constantly disappointing body checks, and watching hours of food challenges and rubbish dieting shows, I feel like I'm losing it. I'm losing any feeling I might have had that I was sick, and there wasn't much of that to begin with.
And I don't know why this disturbs me. Do I *want* to be sick like this? No. That doesn't make sense. I think I've just gotten so used to the thought process, the behaviours, that this is my new "normal".
According to the DSM-V, I fall nicely into Atypical Anorexia Nervosa at this point. The mindset without the low weight. The crap without the benefits. The BDD hasn't left yet, that I know. Probably won't for a long time. I feel disgusting sometimes. I still want to lose, even though I know I don't need to. But I do. I have this dumb image of being like a butterfly, coming out this spring into nice clothing from my bulky winter stuff, and people seeing a difference and saying something. I've still got a ways to go before then. My top uni choice "isn't going to accept me", in my head, unless I'm at 55 before the first of April. Which is manageable, easy even. Then it's 50.
I think I feel fake again (I say again, but it never really goes away) because it's "too easy". I should be either concerned about the lack of appetite, like a normal person, or revelling in the fact it makes losing a much more attainable possibility. But I'm not either, really. I don't feel like the girls in the movies or even my fellow r/ProED-ers, who work so hard and focus so much energy on not eating or getting rid of what they have eaten. I feel like I'm cheating.
I guess I'm lucky. This is what I wanted, right? I used to be the one saying, Wow, if only I could restrict. If only I didn't have to bother with binges and I could have the strength and perseverance of AN. BED-ers don't have the discipline for the corrective measures of BN; BN-ers don't have the discipline to stop triggering behaviour of AN. I don't have discipline now, I don't think. Just apathy.
But I suppose the means don't matter. The amount of mental strain and torture doesn't matter.
I'll get there one way or another.
Thanks for reading, mates. Hope your day's going all right š
[Rant/Rave] Dysmorphia during hookups
/u/joufflue
Created: Sun Mar 4 05:41:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81xg9t/dysmorphia_during_hookups/
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I fucking hate dysmorphia so bad I'm a size 6-8 US right so why do i see myself in the mirror and see like a size 22-24. Last night i hooked up with my token guy and he's kinda skinny and jfc i felt like a massive troll in front of him. Came home, threw up everything i ate, cut, panic attack. Time to fast until i stop feeling gross!!! Anyone else find hooking up insanely triggering lmao? Like i cant even relax or enjoy sex at this point anymore. All i can focus on is how i look, how much im jiggling, how i manage to be fatter than guys who are a foot taller than me. At least i have hell fodder to fuel a crash diet now. Planning on dropping 15 lbs in march, god knows I need to.
Ps: long time lurker, made this throwaway so i wouldnt have to worry about my post history :~) hi guys
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 4 05:11:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81xc2b/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 04, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 4 05:11:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81xc18/daily_food_diary_march_04_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for March 04, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Maybe dumb question... but does anyone know where to find a scale to use? Not knowing my weight is killing me!
/u/strawstring [Height 5'10 | CW ???| -76??lbs | 21F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 04:33:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81x75k/maybe_dumb_question_but_does_anyone_know_where_to/
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So I recently moved, there is no scale in the house, and I actually kind of like it. I don't obsess over small fluctuations, focus on how I look and feel, and tend to eat less just in case -- most days. But there are a lot of times (like right now) where I go crazy thinking about the possibility that I'm gaining and have no idea and it scares the shit out of me.
I'd rather not buy a scale because I would weigh myself every 15 minutes, but I want somewhere to go once in a while. My gym has one scale but it's in the middle of the weight section?? No one ever steps on it and I understand why because who wants to weigh themselves in front of everyone???
Does anyone know/have any ideas of where else I can weigh myself for peace of mind?
[Rant/Rave] I might not continue with recovery.
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Sun Mar 4 04:20:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81x5i8/i_might_not_continue_with_recovery/
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I've tried to write this post several times, but each time I just felt petty. Alongside my eating disorder I have rapid cycling Bipolar 2 and insecure attachment disorder (for some background). I feel like shit, two days ago I went out to play Magic the Gathering with 4 friends and cause it's cold in the UK right now I had a bowl of ready brek (112) which was much needed, then we had to wait for the place to open and bought a green tea and a brownie (356), which I had a little freak out over but was generally okay with cause I don't eat them that often. Then I had dinner/tea and I freaked the fuck out over it, I don't know how many calories were in it.
I woke up yesterday and didn't move from bed until 6 in the evening, ate a slice of toast (105), some homemade soup (76), half a chicken wrap (165), some pringles (151), 6 squares of dairy milk chocolate (162) and a creme egg (117) so way less than I should have, my girlfriend's concerned because I've been ill recently and not eating because of my sore throat so this isn't ideal for her.
I feel awful for my girlfriend and everyone else who has to watch me slip back, especially because my girlfriend's been through this before with her ex and I'm beginning to wonder if I should leave her so she doesn't have to be with someone who feels like they're not ready for recovery. My best friend caught me counting and said it made her sad but I can't stop I *need* to know because if I can't know my weight I need to know how much I'm eating, she says I'm lighter as well when she picks me up which makes me so happy.
The temptation to go out and buy another set of scales is really strong just so I know how much I weigh. I'm so scared that this is having a toll on my girlfriend, which I never wanted cause guys she's wonderful, so fucking wonderful we had a conversation the other night where she expressed her concerns about me and how we both need to learn how to eat normally and she's so understanding I don't want to hurt her. But I feel the need to get a little thinner because I'm so scared I'll lose her if I gain weight, which is irrationally because she weighs twice as much as I do and it looks good on her (she's 6ft and gives the best hugs).
Sorry this is such a mess and thank you so much for reading.
[Goal] Officially 20 lbs down as of today!
/u/ineedtogetlighter [5'4 | CW: 134 lbs | -20.4 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | Male]
Created: Sun Mar 4 03:47:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81x160/officially_20_lbs_down_as_of_today/
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Feeling so good you guys, some part of my mind never thought I would make it here! Only 14.4 more lbs to go til I'm at my goal weight of 120 lbs!
I was with 4 other close family members/friends last night who I hadn't seen in a few weeks and they all said I looked so much better (but one said something along the lines of "you look so much better now, you looked quite chubby before" which made me want to cry and not eat haha) and also got told it makes me look taller, so yeah just wanted to do a little celebratory post!
I hope you all have a good day ā¤
[Help] i think my boyfriend is subtly encouraging my ED.
/u/HeartSecret [70" | CW 135 | CGW 125 | UGW 118 | female]
Created: Sun Mar 4 03:28:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81wyzf/i_think_my_boyfriend_is_subtly_encouraging_my_ed/
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can anyone help me decipher this? am i just being paranoid or is he encouraging my ED?
so, my BF of 2 years knows i have an ED. as an example of how i think he may be encouraging it: tonight he talked about ordering food (eeek). and i said i really didnāt want to, because iām so far from where i want to be. and iām in a down place right now, so i said i want to lose another 25 lbs before iāll feel ok... which would take me well under my UGW, and make me thinner than i was even as a teenager.
and, i know itās dumb, but i wanted him to disagree with me. i wanted him to say āno way, babeā or whatever. but thatās not what he said. instead, he shrugged and he said āyou can do thatā. and i said, āyou donāt think that would be too much?ā
he then said, āno, not really, if thatās what you wantā. so at this point, iām like all alarms going off in my head. like OH SHIT. obviously i look like a whale... and then he says, ābut you have to realize, we canāt all have the bodies we want. you want to be skinny, i want to be super muscular. but itās just not going to happenā.
and so now iām really losing it internally. iāve had strangers approach me and say i look ātoo thinā (which is always a double edged sword of mind your own business and secret feelings of ohh why thank you kind stranger). and so i ask him, ādo you think i could lose another 25 lbs?ā and he says āsure, if thatās what you want. but i like you as you are now, yknow, normalā.
and iām like F U C K. because iāve worked SO HARD to get to here. and he sees this as normal? so then tonight in bed just now, i said i feel like a failure. and he asks why... and i rattled a couple reasons as to why (letting my mom down, not being great at work right now), and then finished with āand i canāt even be a proper anorexic. you said it yourself, iām not even skinnyā. and he said nothing.
nothing.
and then went to bed. and i feel like absolute, utter, disgusting fat fattiness.
[Rant/Rave] why spend money on lax when you can eat expired leftovers and achieve the same effect for free?!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 4 02:56:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81wv0u/why_spend_money_on_lax_when_you_can_eat_expired/
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[deleted]
i am going to eat 1200 every day. no more. no less.
/u/isaezraa [5'3 | CW 115 | GW 110 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 4 02:08:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81wp89/i_am_going_to_eat_1200_every_day_no_more_no_less/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] SOMEONE JUST CAUGHT ME PUKING AND THEY THOUGHT IT WAS ALCOHOL POISONING OR SOMETHING BC IT'S SAINT PATTYS. KMS.
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Sun Mar 4 01:26:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81wjry/someone_just_caught_me_puking_and_they_thought_it/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Small Victories of A Binge Eater
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 4 00:23:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81wboa/small_victories_of_a_binge_eater/
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[deleted]
[Help] Anyone here a mama?
/u/thatsApunk [5'9" | 129.2| 18.74 | -40.5 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 23:58:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81w86p/anyone_here_a_mama/
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So I had my first baby about 2 weeks ago and was just wondering if anyone else here was a mama and how its been for them?
Pregnancy was hard and I had to avoid this place like the plague, but after gaining 50-60 pounds I need it back. I feel disgusting and even worse than Iāve ever felt. Even at my highest weight I was still 10lbs lighter than I am now.
Iām just curious on if any other ladies have had babies and how theyāve managed to get back down and how theyāve coped if they decided to breastfeed. Also these stretch marks are a bitch! Any tips?
[Other] This stupid ass passive aggressive ad for a waffle place near where I work
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:60kg | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Sat Mar 3 23:36:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81w56r/this_stupid_ass_passive_aggressive_ad_for_a/
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https://imgur.com/9ypaimV
[Other] Halo top..
/u/smarie22
Created: Sat Mar 3 22:14:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81vsaz/halo_top/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Any other trans/non binary folks ?
/u/Strfless
Created: Sat Mar 3 21:54:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81voxg/any_other_transnon_binary_folks/
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I feel like itās a whole other layer on top of everything.
[Discussion] [TMI] I have a love/hate relationship with fructose.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 3 21:53:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81voor/tmi_i_have_a_lovehate_relationship_with_fructose/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself for eating like a normal person.
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Sat Mar 3 21:49:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81vnzw/i_hate_myself_for_eating_like_a_normal_person/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Downward spiral
/u/Cockroach-Boy
Created: Sat Mar 3 21:12:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81vhgi/downward_spiral/
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I honestly have no idea what to tag this as. I'm going on such a downward spiral. I'd been planning how I would off myself. Not necessarily with any intent to do it, but working out the logistics if I ever were to. I've been having really vivid thoughts and imagining some really terrible things. Feeling really disconnected, I planned to open up to my therapist but had to rebook and his next opening wasn't until late April. . . So. . .
Idk. Tonight I did something really stupid. I'll definitely not suffer any dire consequences. I'm not going to die, or be horribly ill, but. . I'm kind of. . Concerned as to what's going on with me. About how my mind can just "tonight you're going to do THIS" and I can commit to it, knowing it's dangerous and stupid and
Idk
I'm spiraling
EDIT: this is only here BC idk where else to go. . . This group has been so supportive. I can't tell anyone else
[Rant/Rave] YOU FUCKING GUYS
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sat Mar 3 20:56:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81vejv/you_fucking_guys/
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I am 45 hours into my 72 hour fast and I am still 7 SEVEN god damn lbs up, Iām still fucking bloated and still fucking fat.
Itās not that I was expecting to lose 7lbs tho, those are the water weight lbs that I put on during the week. I am so fucking terrified that some of this is real weight. Tomorrow I go back to eating like a normal person and I canāt fucking control my eating around other people. Tomorrow I go back to pretending Iām normal and enjoying life and food and alcohol, but I am only able to do those things knowing that when the weekend comes Iāll fast again and get back to my comfortable weight.
I cannot handle gaining weight. I cannot handle being 110 or over.
The *only* solace that I have is 1. I think if I was really 113 and it was real weight gain, I would feel slim like I did the first time I was that weight and not so flabby. If that makes sense.. or my logic could be completely flawed there. And 2. I think my new bc may be the culprit for all this water retention and bloat and I stopped taking it today so maybe soon Iāll get back to normal?
I really really need some words guys- Iām freaking the fuck out.
Hoping to find my niche
/u/twinklesprinklelady
Created: Sat Mar 3 20:43:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81vc8j/hoping_to_find_my_niche/
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I'm new to Reddit and in mobile, so I'm really sorry if this isn't formatted the right way. Please feel free to take it down if it's not the appropriate way to post.
I'm so lost right now and feel like this space could be home. Everyday has become a battle between wanting to recover and desperately wanting to keep losing weight. And most days restriction has been more important.
But I want more out of my life. I want friends. I want friends so badly. I want experiences. I want to laugh again. And not the forced type of laughter I have to remind myself to do just to be polite. I want to have passion in my life again. I want a sense of control. I want meaning.
My eating disorder has taken almost a decade of my life from me. I don't know if being thin is worth any more of my time though. I have a family that needs me. On top of that, I need the real me back. I don't know who she is anymore, but I'm desperate to meet her. I don't think the real me wants to be restricting, binging, and purging over and over again, buts it's also all I really know.
I know intros are probably not the most interesting to read, but I felt like I needed to put myself out there. If anyone would message me it would really make my night. I could really use the support and interaction right now. Hope everyone out there keeps fighting āØ
[Intro] Introducing myself. Thankful this community exists.
/u/fatyoyo
Created: Sat Mar 3 20:00:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81v3wb/introducing_myself_thankful_this_community_exists/
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Long time lurker on my regular account but finally got the courage to make an account to post here. Iām a 31 year old female fighting a constant battle with food (and life). I have diagnosed depression, anxiety, AUD (alcoholism) and IED (rage disorder). And while Iāve never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, I understand that I have and had always had a very unhealthy relationship with food.
Iām 5ā2ā and over the last 10 years my weight has constantly yo-yoāed between 100 pounds and 170 pounds, corresponding with cycles of restricting or bingeing. But it doesnāt matter what āphaseā Iām in, I am CONSTANTLY thinking about food. When Iām restricting Iām constantly thinking about what I can eat, when I can eat, browsing weight loss and diet forums, entering and reentering my weekly āmeal planā in MFP, weighing every piece of food in the house and labeling it, thinking about ways I can reduce my calorie intake, etc. When Iām not restricting, Iām binging. Iāve never known a middle ground. And when Iām binging Iām constantly thinking about that awesome chicken finger wrap Iām going to get from the cafeteria at work or that pizza Iām going to be picking up on the way home, or the mac and cheese Iām going to make this weekend with the $30 I blew on high end cheese at the grocery store. Itās always about the next meal, and I always eat to the point of discomfort. Iāve been on this binging part of the cycle for the last 2 years, since a series of hardships rocked me pretty hard. My parents and sister died suddenly, then the man I thought was my best friend ended what I now see was an manipulative, abusive, codependent relationship. I had no family or friends left, so food became my family and friends. I gained 50+ pounds in a year.
And I am so, so disgusted with myself. I hate sitting down because I can feel my stomach rolls. I can feel my thighs rubbing together when I walk. I canāt wear sleeveless shirts because the spillover fat. I canāt see my collarbone. My jaw is squishy and gross. I hate mirrors. I hate this body and I hate myself for making it this way.
So I re-downloaded MFP (didnāt even remember my password), set my daily calories to 1,000, went grocery shopping for my safe foods, and then got on the scale... 166 pounds. Holy shit. It was like a punch in the fat stomach. That was 2 weeks ago, and Iāve weighed and logged every single thing Iāve ingested since then. Most days itās 400-500 calories of food and 500-600 calories of alcohol. On the rare days I donāt drink I keep my total calories around 500-600. This has always been my pattern when Iām restricting. Iāve kept it up for as long as 2 years in the past before the poles reverse and I go back to eating 2,500+ calories a day. No middle ground. No normal. Food rules me either way.
Right now I exist on AdvantEdge 100 calorie protein shakes, Weight Watchers 50 calorie string cheese, Tumaroās 60 calorie wraps, egg whites, deli turkey and ham, baked boneless skinless chicken breast, broccoli, apples, diet Snapple, sugar free Red Bull and liquor. 150 calories for breakfast, 250 calories for lunch, and for dinner I drink until Iām drunk (and log it all).
But the thing is I know Iām not doing enough. I know my tdee is ~1,600 calories, so even at 1,000 a day Iām only running a 600 calorie a day deficit. So Iām restricting but Iām still fat and Iām still going to be fat for a long time and my life revolves around food and alcohol. I still donāt have any family or friends and now I donāt have comfort food either. This is always the hardest time for me, the first few weeks where Iām restricting but thereās no change yet and I canāt help to think āyouāre already fat, might as well eat everything!ā But I donāt, and I wonāt. Iāll do this until I get down to 100 pounds, like Iāve done twice in the past. At that point things get uncertain. Itās just nice to know thereās a group out there who doesnāt think Iām a total freak for it.
[Intro] 21st Brithday Transformation/ makeover
/u/NutelllaBellla
Created: Sat Mar 3 19:27:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81uxls/21st_brithday_transformation_makeover/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] The number on the scale is going down but I don't "feel" any smaller
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | went to treatment | send help | 24F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 18:54:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ur7t/the_number_on_the_scale_is_going_down_but_i_dont/
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I've been fasting since Wednesday night. Just coffee, Diet Coke, Powerade Zero and melatonin/multivitamin gummies. The scale has been going down about one pound per day but I don't feel any smaller. Usually when I even restrict to 500 calories a day, I feel smaller and smaller every day when I wake up. Numbers don't lie but I don't feel any smaller and it's bumming me out. In the past if I'd lose even like .4 pounds in a day and I'd still feel smaller. It's driving me crazy. I feel like this is the one time in life I'd rather feel smaller than see the number on the scale get smaller, because at least if the scale is stalling, I'd to see a whoosh eventually.
Anyways, I'm getting really frustrated with the fast. I'm planning on ending it Thursday morning/afternoon but part of me feels like I should save all the hard work of fasting until I get to a lower weight since my TDEE will get lower as my weight gets lower. So maybe I should end the fast and just restrict to 300-500 calories a day with a few fasting days thrown in every week until it gets harder to lose a significant amount on 300-500 calories per day alone??? I don't know. I'm just so annoyed and I'm craving plain non-fat Greek yoghurt of all things.
UGH. Okay, /endrant. I hope you're all having a great weekend.
[Help] Are therapists open to working with clients with weight loss goals?
/u/variousnecessities7
Created: Sat Mar 3 18:54:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ur29/are_therapists_open_to_working_with_clients_with/
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Hi there,
At 5'4" and 135 pounds, I don't *need* to lose weight, but what I do need is a therapist. My obsession with food is reaching a fever pitch now that I notice it materially affecting my performance at work and reducing my interest in my usual hobbies.
I've needed help for about a year, but I've been avoiding it because I haven't reached my goal weight. Basically, I'm terrified of getting a therapist who stalls my weight loss goals.
Does anyone have experience with getting help for disordered eating, but still losing weight?
The reason I'm finally seeking help is twofold: 1) my bosses at work have finally noticed my performance slipping, and 2) my compulsive self-abuse has become a regular occurrence in my life, rather than an occasional coping mechanism.
So yeah. I need help. But I need to know that I can still lose 10 pounds while going to therapy.
Am I fucked? Is it one or the other? Please don't let it be one or the other. What are your experiences?
Thank you <3
[Rant/Rave] Possible appetite suppressant?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 3 18:52:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81uqty/possible_appetite_suppressant/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81uqty/possible_appetite_suppressant/
[Discussion] Plateau??
/u/bloomoonxx [5"8 | BMI: 19 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 18:52:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81uqra/plateau/
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How tf can i get out of this hell i haven't lost in a while and i desperately need to lose weight im thinking of trying keto because i am out of options.
[Discussion] anybody sorta panicking because spring break is close?
/u/lesjonquilles
Created: Sat Mar 3 18:39:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81uo2c/anybody_sorta_panicking_because_spring_break_is/
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Iāve been super depressed lately and gained like 3 lbs, and my spring break is in 9 days. Iām going to visit family and they live by the beach and GOD Iām gonna fucking fast and if I donāt reach 115 by the 11th Iām gonna kms
[Other] I (poorly) wrote a poem on bingeing and hospitals
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 69.6 -70.4 lbs | 13.2-3| forced into recovery]
Created: Sat Mar 3 18:33:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81umrj/i_poorly_wrote_a_poem_on_bingeing_and_hospitals/
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You stupid girl you did it again,
soon youāll be fat and what then?
Whyād you have to let the demon in?
Do you even want to be thin?
Now weāve got to get you free of sin.
Iām calling the exorcist.
But Iām warning you Anaās pretty pissed.
Remember those pounds wonāt be missed.
Mia comes bearing lax.
Anaās serious - no more snacks!
Listen to me close you fool,
cause they wonāt teach you this in school.
Starving for dainty thighs,
brought larger than life highs.
Until they slowly faded,
and your life view grew jaded.
Then comes the dreadful day,
when they come to take you away.
Those dainty thighs grow large,
and youāre no longer the one in charge.
But eventually they let you free,
and Anaās voices cries out with glee.
She apologizes for what youāve seen,
and once again starts making you lean.
And everything was going fine,
with you firmly refusing to dine.
But now you went and made her mad;
Too much food was had.
But tomorrow is a day anew,
when you must vow not to chew.
Else Ana swears you will rue,
how your thighs grew;
because you failed to stick to,
the plan that she gave you.
[Help] In a viscous cycle
/u/xxmishxx
Created: Sat Mar 3 18:29:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ulz9/in_a_viscous_cycle/
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I come from a history of EDās for the past 3-4 years. I was doing so well this Fall though. Experimenting with intermittent fasting and was down to my lowest since my binge eating began. Since the holidays though Iāve been in a crazy binge cycle and have put on 15 pounds. I can mentally handle this but canāt handle much more weight gain. How can I get the out of this cycle?! I feel so depressed and out of control.
[Help] Can you get bronkaid otc?
/u/slimeywizard
Created: Sat Mar 3 18:08:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81uhqk/can_you_get_bronkaid_otc/
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[removed]
[Help] i'm so disgusting and worthless
/u/vulturepants [5'5 | SW: 175 | CW: still too much | GW: 120]
Created: Sat Mar 3 16:58:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81u2t9/im_so_disgusting_and_worthless/
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i'm literally eating oreos as i'm typing this. i've been binging like crazy lately and i hate myself so much for it. i just want to get back the strength and willpower it takes to starve. i want to get back to losing weight like i was before. i see girls on here who weigh 90~ lbs and i know i'll never be anywhere near that tiny and i know they're all judging me for being a disgusting obese whale. i fucking hate myself and i hate my body. i've been cutting more and it helps because obviously i deserve it but at the same time i just want to cut off all my disgusting blubber. i'm so hideous and pathetic.
[Rant/Rave] Wish I could be ānormalā
/u/glutton_for_gluten [5'4|129|-22|GW 115]
Created: Sat Mar 3 16:54:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81u22y/wish_i_could_be_normal/
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Like...I ate a turkey sandwich and sweet potato for lunch and I feel AWFUL!!! Then I think that this is how ānormalā people eat and donāt even bat an eye at it. But for me...anything heavier than a salad/miso soup/liquid for lunch is just too much and now Iām depressed and feeling terrible about my entire weekend. I took 2 lax last night to make me feel better about eating too many shrimp (meant to only eat 6 and I ate 9 instead) and my stomach has been in turmoil from the pills all day. Wish I could turn this all off and not think about food/calories/weight for just one day...
[Help] preparing for first EC stack - caffeine question
/u/oriamB [5'6 | CW 135? | GW 120 | always fluctuating | F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 16:53:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81u1v5/preparing_for_first_ec_stack_caffeine_question/
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Stupidly forgot my caffeine pills...does anyone just drink a coffee/diet soda for the Caffeine part of a stack?
"Am I sick enough to have an ED?"
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 115?? | "recovery/maintaining" | F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 16:32:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81tx1r/am_i_sick_enough_to_have_an_ed/
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https://youtu.be/rPn985w0mxM
Was doing well, then surprise dinner. Now binging on ice cream and self hate
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 15:47:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81tmua/was_doing_well_then_surprise_dinner_now_binging/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] I want to try chewing and spitting bc I can't throw up
/u/toriaponte12
Created: Sat Mar 3 15:26:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ti1z/i_want_to_try_chewing_and_spitting_bc_i_cant/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Found a tracker app that is really helpful.
/u/IrritatedIntrovert
Created: Sat Mar 3 14:59:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81tbz7/found_a_tracker_app_that_is_really_helpful/
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Itās called YAZIO, a bit overwhelming at first but has been super helpful in tracking macros/calories/water intake. Have yet to try and track exercise in it. It also has a section that gives you healthy recipes that breaks down the calorie content.
I just want to feel safe right now but I donāt think thereās any place like that right now.
/u/WaitingForHealing
Created: Sat Mar 3 14:49:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81t9j3/i_just_want_to_feel_safe_right_now_but_i_dont/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm resigned to it.
/u/letthetemptingbegin [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 23.49 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Sat Mar 3 14:45:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81t8h9/im_resigned_to_it/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Should've thought of it sooner!
/u/letthetemptingbegin [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 23.49 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Sat Mar 3 14:30:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81t5a9/shouldve_thought_of_it_sooner/
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[removed]
38 meal bars for 10 dollars xD my grocery haul that will hopefully last me longer than a month
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 14:02:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81sysn/38_meal_bars_for_10_dollars_xd_my_grocery_haul/
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https://i.imgur.com/9oLBB0P.jpg
WhatsApp accountability/support? 29/f/USA
/u/looking_4_support
Created: Sat Mar 3 13:53:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81swom/whatsapp_accountabilitysupport_29fusa/
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[removed]
[Other] After I finish this Iāll be at 1000 calories for the day
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Sat Mar 3 13:41:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81stvp/after_i_finish_this_ill_be_at_1000_calories_for/
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https://i.redd.it/wyfyqal31mj01.jpg
[Discussion] UM IS THIS REAL?!
/u/Roseemacculate02
Created: Sat Mar 3 13:36:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ssr2/um_is_this_real/
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https://i.redd.it/lbrjc9780mj01.png
UM IS THIS REAL?!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 3 13:35:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ssi0/um_is_this_real/
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https://i.redd.it/rf92d2m10mj01.png
[Rant/Rave] Today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 3 13:05:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81slej/today/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] I need to get out of this binge cycle
/u/sugarpiIl
Created: Sat Mar 3 13:03:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81skx0/i_need_to_get_out_of_this_binge_cycle/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I just need to tell someone!!
/u/breezykiltviews
Created: Sat Mar 3 13:00:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81sk90/i_just_need_to_tell_someone/
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I don't mean to post to brag.. not my intention I just need to tell people.. SOMEONE.. and I feel this place out of any is the best! I'm finally almost back to my lw!! Fuck yes. I can see my thighs shrinking I have soooo much more energy somehow. I feel almost like a million bucks!! (Of course there's lots of room for improvements.. I need to loose more still) BUT I just needed to share!! I hope this gives you motivation as well :) Have a fantastic day everyone!! And just remember if you're maybe having a shit day (trust me I've had so many leading up to this point) just take it one day at a time... an hour at a time.. a week at a time. Make small adjustments. Pretty soon it all seems to come together :) xoxo
[Rant/Rave] Bf knows I had an ED but still congratulates me about weight loss
/u/appletreejuice
Created: Sat Mar 3 12:57:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81sjhh/bf_knows_i_had_an_ed_but_still_congratulates_me/
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My boyfriend knows I had an ED and got sick. Now Iām healthy/normal (lol fat) and Iāve relapsed and whenever I mention losing weight he congratulates me. He always tells me how I look good and I look like Iāve lost weight and stuff. Part of me likes it and part of me gets angry because how can you be so ignorant? My family/friends knew how bad it was and no one asks me how Iām doing. Itās like no one gives a fuck.
[Rant/Rave] Just another little rant
/u/supersecretobsession [178cm | CW: 56.7kg | BMI: 17.44(new)/17.90(old) | GW: ??? | 20F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 12:43:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81sg1s/just_another_little_rant/
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To preface, I love my boyfriend and I know he loves me and tries to be as supportive as he can about my ED. That being said, he doesn't really understand it, so can be unintentionally hurtful at times. Which brings me to the topic of this post.
He was gaming with his friends when he spoke to me, and his friends said something which I couldn't hear (as he is speaking to them through a headset), to which he replied "Oh she's definitely not a small woman. How tall are you, u/supersecretobsession? 178 right?".
I wanted to die. I think I mumbled something but I just couldn't get any words out. I've realised that a big reason for my ED is my height, which always made me feel like a giant amongst my friends, even when I was a skinny kid.
Now I just can't get it out of my head that all his friends think I'm some sort of gigantic woman. I hate that this bothers me so much.
Anyway, rant over. Thanks for listening to my incoherent ramblings, I'm going to go sulk now.
[Intro] I should know better
/u/chthonic_demiurge [5'4"|CW129| GW116 |26F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 12:39:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81sf9t/i_should_know_better/
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I am a doctoral student at a prestigious university. I had a secure childhood. I'm knowledgeable about the psychological, historical, and cultural roots of disordered eating. None of my friends or colleagues would ever suspect that I count every calorie, that I can't keep desserts in my house, that I order Dominos, Papa Johns, and Pizza Hut on a regular basis, that I weigh myself daily, that I notice every pound, roll, and jiggle on my body and on the bodies of every single person around me. I'm ashamed that I visit this site, that I devour the posts and photos of truly ill individuals. But this is my only outlet-- the only way I can publicly understand this fucked up part of myself. So, I'm grateful for your presence.
[Other] Just needed to vent
/u/unpollutedfantasy [š„]
Created: Sat Mar 3 11:35:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81s00g/just_needed_to_vent/
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Thereās just something so shameful to me about purging. I just think itās the most disgusting thing because itās fucking vomit. Vomit is fucking gross. I am so ashamed that I do this.
And Iām really not trying to put people down who do purge, just sharing how it makes me feel
[Rant/Rave] Diuretics that actually work!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 3 11:23:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81rx5y/diuretics_that_actually_work/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I want to die
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sat Mar 3 11:01:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81rrns/i_want_to_die/
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I decided to force myself into recovery, at a BMI of 16.3 I was surviving but definitely not living and every thought was food and weight and self hatred. I decided march 1st would mark the beginning of me eating normally, at or above my TDEE without a care. Today is march 3rd and i am up 9 pounds. I repeat. 9. POUNDS.
I canāt believe this i canāt believe this i donāt know what to do
iām sat on my floor surrounded by half built ikea furniture and empty food wrappers completely distraught.
The months i spent loosing 9 pounds and iāve got them back IN THREE DAYS
i know some is water weight but honestly not fucking 9 pounds of water weight
I am disgusting why did i ever ever ever think i could or should recover
i donāt deserve recovery look at how disgusting i am
[Rant/Rave] i just don't fucking know what to do, and I know nobody has answers.
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Sat Mar 3 10:49:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81rojn/i_just_dont_fucking_know_what_to_do_and_i_know/
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iām at this point
and its like my body just wont drop anymore
for literal MONTHS Iāve plateaued - up and down like 7 pounds. I used to lose a solid 10 a month at the least, like clockwork, I could count on that. Now I'm on the scale every morning, up one, down 2, up 3, down 4, up 2. You get the idea.
For fucking.
Months.
I log it daily, I look back on my log. I want to rip my fucking hair out. I don't have a "goal weight" but I have, i dont know, landmarks? And I'm reaching them, until now.
no matter what I do, try, shake up my metabolism, eat differently, whatever, everything thats been suggested. if I eat more I gain, if I eat to my extreme deficit, nothing changes.
Iām constantly berating myself for every move I make or donāt, every thought I have or donāt
this is a different feeling of wanting to die.
[Discussion] Anyone elsewhere Quit That! always look like this?
/u/n34543
Created: Sat Mar 3 10:35:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81rl0f/anyone_elsewhere_quit_that_always_look_like_this/
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https://i.redd.it/xrflpybt3lj01.jpg
How do meth/crack heads lose weight so fast?
/u/Antzinmyeyezjohnzon
Created: Sat Mar 3 10:32:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81rk7h/how_do_methcrack_heads_lose_weight_so_fast/
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[removed]
[Help] olive gardenās nutrition facts online vs mfp?
/u/tsumanne
Created: Sat Mar 3 10:20:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81rhdn/olive_gardens_nutrition_facts_online_vs_mfp/
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so tonight iām going out to eat olive garden with my boyfriend, and iām deciding between getting the minestrone (110 calories according to olive garden) and the pasta e fagioli (150 calories according to olive garden). iām leaning towards the pasta e fagioli because i want the meat, but when i went to go log it into myfitnesspal it says that itās 180 calories? should i put in the pasta e fagioli as 150 calories as it is on olive gardenās official site or should i put it in as 180 just in case? or should i just get the minestrone lol bc itās āhealthier...ā please help me iām worrying a ton
[Rant/Rave] Would I rather be where I am today or where I was when I started?
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Sat Mar 3 10:12:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81rfhj/would_i_rather_be_where_i_am_today_or_where_i_was/
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A question Iāve started asking myself when i eat too much the night before or things didnāt go as planned.
It feels incredibly shitty, but even so, Iām not at my starting weight. Not even close. Trying to look at the bright side and exercise and drink tons of water today.
Iāve binged before and forgotten about it completely when the scale dropped again, and this time doesnāt have to be different unless I let it. It will be okay. The world will keep turning.
All hope and happiness is not lost from one day of overeating. I will be okay.
[Rant/Rave] Ranting about literally 100 things because I'm overwhelmed.
/u/idontevenliketeatbh [23F 5'3" | cw.154 | ugw.100 | lost.45lbs ā ]
Created: Sat Mar 3 09:55:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81rbf9/ranting_about_literally_100_things_because_im/
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So yesterday was my friend's birthday. We're celebrating tomorrow by going to the zoo. His girlfriend asked me to make him brownies to take along because I'm a baker/cake decorator. Or well I used to be. Well I agreed because you can't really say, I'd rather kill myself than have a full pan of brownies at my house for a day. But whatever.
I've been "binge eating" (eating at or like 100 cal above maintenance) and so disappointed in myself. It's that time of the month and I feel awful and just want to eat, eat, eat. I haven't lost weight in literally a month even though I have eaten at or below maintenance. (Usually 1000 to 1200) I feel like an anomaly even though it's probably just water weight and bloat.
To make it worse my friend whose birthday it is is literally like 16 or 17 bmi and the thinnest person I know. I love him, he's funny and nice but I hate being around him because I honestly feel like I weigh 500lbs when I stand next to him. And I know they'll want to take pictures. I just feel awful and I'm not looking forward to tomorrow even though it should be fun. And it's my daughter's first time at the zoo. I just wish I was normal and could enjoy this but I know it will be impossible.
And the brownies are almost done and I'm so hungry. I just hate this.
[Help] Curious if these are side effects of nuva ring
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sat Mar 3 09:40:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81r7uk/curious_if_these_are_side_effects_of_nuva_ring/
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So I have used nuva ring in the past and I loved it. I recently started using it again on Jan 24th after a year of not using any birth control.
In December I was 104 and would only go up a couple lbs (like 110) when I would let myself eat regularly, then I would easily fast for a couple days and get back to 104. Now when I eat regularly I go up like 8lbs atleast and havenāt been able to get below 106 after a couple days of fasting (I also got extensions put in in January so that could be why Iām 106 now)
But I have noticed sooo much bloating and water retention and even when I get close to my regular 106 I still feel fluffy. I also am having a way harder time fasting and am so hungry all the god damn time.
And my depression has gotten WAY worse in the past couple weeks, to the point where last weekend I had to go home and take a day off bc I couldnāt stop crying. This past week I have cried so much.
Could this be from the nuva ring? I am super upset if it is bc it is so easy and I am so afraid to try other types of bc
[Other] i canāt imagine myself skinny
/u/fragilmountain [5'7 | 238 | 36 | GW: 110]
Created: Sat Mar 3 09:37:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81r75u/i_cant_imagine_myself_skinny/
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some nights iāll lay in bed and try to think about me at my goal weight. but i canāt.
i have no idea what my face would look like without a double chin. i donāt have a clue on what having a flat stomach would look and feel like. i canāt even imagine not having to hide rolls of fat in high waisted jeans. canāt imagine having a thigh gap or thighs that donāt balloon when i sit down.
iāve been overweight since i was 5 so i donāt even have good pictures that i can base my looks off of. itās disgusting and i feel revolting.
39 hours into a fast where i donāt know how long itāll be.
242 pounds.
i am a disgusting blob of fat. thatās all i am. fat. not skinny, not pretty. fat.
[Help] Getting the common cold frequently
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 107.8 | -30.2 | F | G: 95]
Created: Sat Mar 3 09:28:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81r4w9/getting_the_common_cold_frequently/
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When I was at my high weight I never got sick - I was usually between 125 - 135. Ever since I started going below my regular weight I've been getting sick more and more often. Since October I've been sick at least 6 times. In October I was sick for about 3 weeks and was so concerned I went to the doc, who said that it was just the common cold. In December I went to my GP with my concerns and she said that I was fine.
[Rant/Rave] Weight hasnāt budged
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sat Mar 3 09:27:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81r4oc/weight_hasnt_budged/
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Iām super fucking frustrated. I am 33 hours into a liquid fast- which I do every fucking week and my weight is the same as when I started. Iāve had many bms and drank as much liquid as possible.
What the fuck is going on.
When the scale doesnāt move it just makes me want to give up which is fucking backwards logic bc it should be motivation to continue not eating. But no I feel like a fucking failure and Iām never going to lose weight.
[Rant/Rave] I just wanna be left alone with my eating disorder
/u/wannathrowyouaway
Created: Sat Mar 3 08:31:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81qsg9/i_just_wanna_be_left_alone_with_my_eating_disorder/
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On mobile, can't flair.
Things have been difficult lately. Nothing is going well for me. I'm not doing well in school, my mother is abusive, I have no one, I'm fat, and the list goes on. And as a result my depression is getting worse. At least I had my boyfriend and I wanted to get better for him, but now things are complicated with him and I feel like I'm losing the only thing that made me happy.
I just want some time away from everything. Alone with my ED. I kinda want to b/p all day every day until I die. Or just not it until I die.
Why does it feel like my ED is the only thing that's always there for me?
[Discussion] March 3rd, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 08:26:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81qr9l/march_3rd_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Did you sleep alone last night?
;_;
[Discussion] Lmao
/u/ThisIsNotGumpy [5'2 | 97 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 08:21:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81qq41/lmao/
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I have been told that hospitalization is close.
I spend $60-80 at the nutritionist every 2 weeks.
I spend $120 at the therapist every week.
I have Recovery Record.
I follow all the ārecovery gurusā on social media
Yet here I am, on my bullshit. Still stuck in this rut.
Itās like I want to recover and there is a part of me that truly does, but then I hit this wall.
āYou donāt need thatā
āOver 800 calories in a day? Not necessaryā
āRecovery? Youāre doing it.ā
But Iām not, not really. I just canāt seem to get beyond where I am.
Itās crippling.
[Help] I just really need to vent, weekend from hell, ED spiral
/u/OscarTehOctopus [5'2 | 105lb | 19.8 | 30lb | F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 08:20:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81qptf/i_just_really_need_to_vent_weekend_from_hell_ed/
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I don't even know where to start this.
So my husband has been suddenly having wave after wave of panic attacks. Today makes 4 days. Last night we spent 7 hours in an ER at the request of his psychiatrist who can't see him until Tuesday. This morning we are going to a psychiatric hospital to try and finally get something to stop this. The last time he was on anxiety medications it killed the physical side of our relationship and caused huge self esteem blow and even after he got off them our sex life and my self image never really fully recovered. So while he needs it and I'd never in a million years suggest he not get treatment I'm really dreading him going back on anything.
This while situation has been pretty stressful even outside of all this cause I'm worried about him and never ending late night hospital trips etc. It's causing my ED to spiral. My binging first skyrocketed, I've purged the past two days, which is new for me, and now I've graduated to fasting because a switch flipped and now I don't want to eat anything. I guess the good news is that if no one else is looking at my body I can make it as thin as I want.
I haven't talked to anyone about it because what kind of asshole complains about their mental health to the guy with unrelenting panic attacks.
[Other] Keep your dirty paws off
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 08:02:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81qmbo/keep_your_dirty_paws_off/
---
https://i.redd.it/x2zjmzs6ckj01.png
[Rant/Rave] I reached GW2!!
/u/ThisIsNotGumpy [5'2 | 97 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 07:59:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81qlip/i_reached_gw2/
---
https://i.redd.it/yw315121ckj01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] so thereās a legitimate chance i might be dead in the next few years.
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -40lb | F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 07:57:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ql1h/so_theres_a_legitimate_chance_i_might_be_dead_in/
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so. proed, ((basically my only support group even though I need to contribute more FML))
my careless teenage hopes of having a relationship are, well, crushed.
my current boyfriend might have HIV. one of his sexual partners apparently might have it. guess who had unprotected sex with him? ding-ding, youāre right! itās me.
at least Iām not pregnant.
iām quite young. i tend to forget that. as the youngest junior in the highschool, younger than most sophomores even, i sometimes forget iām not as old as i seem
he says heās going to get tested. if he has it or any other std Iām honestly just going to lose it. i canāt live like that. iām barely almost 16 yet. why did this have to be how karma got me for being reckless?
i canāt get help either. my mom would fucking kill me faster than any disease. so ill just have to either suffer with it or blow my brains out. whichever seems more optimal
until he finds something out iām not eating. i canāt handle this. iām already stressed enough from OTHER things that iām skipping days of my period and i NEVER do that. iām just ready to disappear.
[Rant/Rave] I got accused of bullying at school.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 3 07:52:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81qk3e/i_got_accused_of_bullying_at_school/
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[deleted]
Can you guys share any knowledge you have of CNT (cognitive behavior therapy) tricks for dealing with overeating/binging?
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 07:13:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81qcb8/can_you_guys_share_any_knowledge_you_have_of_cnt/
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Even if they didnāt work for you, Iām really curious what tricks CBT teaches people to deal with eating too much/emotional eating/binging to the point of hurting and hating yourself.
Iām not ready/willing (for time and $ reasons) to see a therapist but Iād like to get help :/. I figured if I knew some of the tricks I could try to practice them. Even if I donāt do a great job (since Iām not a therapist) Iām sure it would help.
I ballooned up again after trying to āstop dieting and maintain.ā I canāt do this anymore. I need to start getting my fucked up eating under control or else I donāt know how Iāll be able to love myself. All of my sadness stems from not being able to control myself around foodāeverything else in my life is fine but this just kills me every day.
I panic when I feel hungry, and itās worse when my stomach goes from being painfully full to just slightly less fullāeven when Iām in pain, that feeling of food digesting itās way through send my brain into an OH FUCK WERE GOING DOWN GET SOME FOOD IN NOW! mode and I have to fill back up again. Iām only able to not overeat when my stomach is normal-people legit hungry and I eat just enough to satisfy myselfāI know exactly when that happens, my brain clicksābut then I want one more bite and if I have one more and feel at all full then it triggers the fucked up binge cycle where I need to stuff my face until I feel sick.
I need to learn to be ok with the idea of being hungry. Itās normal eat a meal, get hungry, eat again, repeat. But I overeat so often that Iāve only felt real hunger a handful of times in the last few years.
I just need to be able to help myself :(
[Discussion] Courtney Love probably had an ED and her music speaks to me. Art discussion thread.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Mar 3 06:33:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81q5a5/courtney_love_probably_had_an_ed_and_her_music/
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on mobile flair as discussion.
I love music and art in all forms. I feel like I always get really into lyrics. I love just angry angsty music so been listening go lots of old Hole, and Garbage and other stuff.
a week or so ago i was hooked on "celebrity skin" ; "my name is might have been my name is never was my names forgotten..You better watch out What you wish for It better be worth it So much to die for.."
just I guess a song about trying to please people and disappointing them or them being disappointed is how i read it and interpret it. I feel like from a young age I was told explicitly or less so to be thinner or to control myself because being a child with unmedicated ADHD and behavioral problems that later presented themselves as anxiety and Bipolar I never felt completely in control until I had ED which wasn't the control I wanted and I regret it and I can't just quit. it consumes me and I feel like if it kills me that will be that.
this week seems to be "Doll Parts" and "violet"
doll parts:
I am doll eyes, doll mouth, doll legs
I am doll arms, big veins, dog bait
Yeah, they really want you
They really want you, they really do
Yeah, they really want you
They really want you, and I do too
I want to be the girl with the most cake
I love him so much it just turns to hate
I fake it so real, I am beyond fake
And someday, you will ache like I ache
And someday, you will ache like I ache
And someday, you will ache like I ache
And someday, you will ache like I ache
And someday, you will ache like I ache
I am doll parts, bad skin, doll heart
It stands for knife
For the rest of my life
pretty much the chorus and first verse speak to me to most pretty much like I don't think I deserve kindness of love and if anyone tries they will get my misery by proxy. they will know my pain and just how much I fake being who I am . I feel like a phony or a fake. I am a doll. I am all plastic and a front with nothing inside but plastic rotted go the core.
violet:
And the sky was made of amethyst
And all the stars were just like little fish
You should learn when to go
You should learn how to say no
Might last a day, yeah
Mine is forever
Might last a day, yeah
Mine is forever
Well they get what they want, and they never want it again
Well they get what they want, and they never want it again
Go on, take everything, take everything, I want you to
Go on, take everything, take everything, I want you to
And the sky was all violet
I want to give the violent more violets
And I'm the one with no soul
One above and one below
Might last a day, yeah
Mine is forever
Might last a day, yeah
Mine is forever
When they get what they want, and they never want it again
And they get what they want, and they never want it again
Go on, take everything, take everything, I want you to
Go on, take everything, take everything, I dare you to
I told you from the start just how this would end
When I get what I want, then I never want it again
Go on take everything, take everything, I want you to
Go on take everything, take everything I want you toĀ
If I don't mind you don't mind.
this one is definarely about relationships and imbalance but I view ED is just a fucked up relationship in my own head. it will take everything from me and then take some more. and eventually if I do get what I am told I want I don't even know if I will want it anymore. why is my gw or ugw but a line I draw in the sand on a beach where I push the line closer to the tide. how much can I take the water. do I just want if up to my waist? nah everyone does that I want it up go my shoulders..no i want to drown . I want this to consume me and to die because maybe eventually too many people will die and the world will change I don't know. just mean making up dumb metaphors.
so what songs/artists or lyrics of poems speak to you? feel free to share links to songs or quote lyrics. I always love learn about more art.
W.
edit. I completely spaced on Courtney Barnett as well Iove the song "pedestrian at best" "
I love you, I hate you, I'm on the fence, it all depends
Whether I'm up or down, I'm on the mend, transcending all reality
I like you, despise you, admire you
What are we gonna do when everything all falls through?
I must confess, I've made a mess of what should be a small success
But I digress, at least I've tried my very best, I guess
This, that, the other, why even bother?
It won't be with me on my deathbed, but I'll still be in your head
Put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint you
Tell me I'm exceptional, I promise to exploit you
Give me all your money, and I'll make some origami, honey
I think you're a joke, but I don't find you very funny
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend constantly criticizing me not exercising enough although I've lost 30lbs
/u/BlackLotusEater
Created: Sat Mar 3 06:21:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81q34k/boyfriend_constantly_criticizing_me_not/
---
Hello all you lovely people.
I've lurked around here quite a lot, but this is my first time posting.
I'm on mobile beside my sleeping Boyfriend, and apologize about any formatting issues.
I don't really have anyone to talk to anymore and needed to vent.
I met my boyfriend almost a year ago and we fell hard and fast. He's very lanky and thin, usually around 155-160lbs at 5'11.
When I first met him I was in a high-stress job that involved working in a kitchen. I quit shortly after meeting him, but I had done some damage to my weight. I exercised but I was still 5'4 and around 143lbs. He arranged these treatments for me (something like cool sculpting) and that helped a bit. I was unemployed for 6 months and during that time I became vegan, started drinking tons of water, got onto an exercise regime and lost a lot of weight.
I also rediscovered the anorexia side of my eating disorder. I had flair ups before, but it has been fairly dormant since my mid-20's (a few years ago). I've actually been really happy to reconnect with this aspect of my ED (I was also a hyper obese childhood binge eater due to abuse, as well as bullemic).
Three months ago I was amazingly blessed to land an incredible job with people who really love the work I do and appreciate me fully, making around 15K more a year than my last position. It's been a dream, but the steaks are high. I work long hours, do work after hours, and support my bf to some extent (He works a trade and is extremely slow atm, I just rewrote his laughably bad resume and he's finally getting interest in places he's been applying to for a second source of income).
Because of all this, I've been really tired and have basically stopped all exercising. I've continued to maintain my weight (I fluctuate between 110-115, I was 112 on the dot when I weighed myself yesterday. 105 is my next goal) but my boyfriend will not stop making little, digging comments about it.
He'll make fun of my ass because it's flatter now. He'll tell me I need to do squats multiple times daily. He'll scold me for not exercising. Yesterday during a phone call he asked if I was on my spin bike and I snapped. He knows I haven't been on it since I started my job and it was a really hurtful line of questioning. He got really upset at my outburst. I just want him to understand how ashamed he makes me feel. How it makes me feel like I haven't accomplished anything. I don't want to be like this, I'm just trying to survive, and take care of both of us.
He's waking up. Time to go. Thanks for letting me vent.
Is anyone here actually pro ana?
/u/Zkdvwkmm
Created: Sat Mar 3 06:10:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81q1an/is_anyone_here_actually_pro_ana/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Planning a binge
/u/daughterofpolonius [5'6 | 155 | 25 | -95 | F/27]
Created: Sat Mar 3 05:53:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81pygw/planning_a_binge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] why do I feel so needy and also like I want go push everyone away? oh right in fucked up that a why.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Mar 3 05:43:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81px0b/why_do_i_feel_so_needy_and_also_like_i_want_go/
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on mobile flair as rant rave please and thank you.
so I accidently ran into the girl I saw at the bar and I had a drink of two and free white wine before leaving work *cue tipsy semi confident me cause alcohol * well I found out where C ( calling her see for identifier and privacy) works now. they also know an old coworker of mine cause my big city is a small world.
so I feel like I don't text much but occasionally I have longer ones and so I sent a couple last night after leaving the bar where C works and just feel anxious about not knowing what they are thinking. no real response and I'm trying not to seem too needy cause I'm not that needy I feel like maybe I just want reassurance that I am not garbage and she likes me.
I don't know what this is and I am scared go define it.is it the starting of a relationship cause we had kissed and made out and she has no reservations hanging out, holding hands of being close even when her ex was at the bar a few feet away and she introduced me to him not as friend just by my name. if we hadn't had seperate plans I would have stayed but restraunt stuff happened. her bar closes at 10 so I left shortly after while she stayed to drink cause she works there..
I'm over thinking. it's what I do. a lot. I am not eating much in case she wants to eat. she said she used to have an ED. when I didn't believe how old she was she showed me her ID and she was noticeably bigger in it and she is much small now.
come to think of it we're close to the same size. she might be like 10 pounds lighter or just carries weight better than me. I don't know why I want to be smaller I just do. I'm 2 to 3 inches taller but want to be thinner and delicate.
I feel like she is the only person I want to be around but it's a busy weekend and neither of us have a day off til Tuesday or so. if she has time might plan something then and it's all I can think about.
what will we do? will we eat? what if she wants to see more of me physically and she sees my scars and awful skin? what if I just start crying?
I just want to feel like someone cares about me and I want a name for this but maybe it don't be much because I am not much. I am just a disorder.
w.
[Goal] saying goodbye to my eating disorder
/u/cocionut [;)]
Created: Sat Mar 3 05:37:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81pw5l/saying_goodbye_to_my_eating_disorder/
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heyo. it's ya boy cocio. ya sisty from another mista, ya brother from another motha.
you might know me from classics such as 100 cups of spinach a day, eat 1 pound of asparagus and "i hate my mom" part 1, 2, 3 + prequel and spin-off.
you might also know me as a fifteen year old girl from denmark with an interest in psychology and way too many celebrity crushes. you might know me as baby lemonades unofficial boo or my constant mental breakdowns and dirty jokes. or you might not know me at all - there's no shame in that either ;)
2017 has in a way been even harder than 2016 - and that's saying a lot, considering my hair was literally falling out, i was doing as much ritalin as my body could physically handle and i was literally scared of going to the stores, because i felt so horrendously fat.
however, 2017 was harder in a different way. i was forced to stop hiding behind calories and miles. i saw how my disorder affected people around me and as i was sitting there, covered in tears and snot, waiting for my next meal, i foolisly decided in the way that only a fourteen year old can: "maybe i'll try eating tomorrow"
i was sitting in the car with my dad, completely silent, blasting my chemical romance in my earphones. i didn't know what to say, and he was scared of saying anything, because he'd seen how i'd get if provoked. the last year, i'd been violent, aggressive and delusional. i'd hit him across the face, i'd smacked the door into him, i'd destroyed food with dishwater soap, but most of all, the time i wasn't screaming my ears out, was filled with complete and utter silence from me.
my eating disorder had made me incapable of crying. if i felt any feeling but anger trying to struggle it's way out, i'd focus on the calories, focus on the scale, focus on whatever mindnumbing entertainment had peaked my interest, and if everything went south, i could always gank a cigarette in there.
i don't remember where we went, but afterwards we went to 7-eleven. i asked if i could have a cliff bar and he gave me the strangest look before saying: "i don't want you to be upset again" and i told him that i wouldn't.
i got the cliff bar and on the drive home, i turned to him and i said "i'm eating again"
he didn't know what to say.
the next few weeks, we drove every day. i said close to nothing every time, until i finally cried. and boy, did i fucking cry. i cried so much i could barely speak, i felt like i was finally dipping my head over the water for the first time in a year. and i didn't stay there, but i got up. for once, i saw how bullshit this all was, how fucking sad i was, but i could barely choke the words out. then i went home and i ate.
and boy, did eating make me sad.
1400 calories. every fucking day. it was a fucking nightmare, let me tell you.
i have thousands of pictures of myself from december. me naked, me pointing to the side, me in different shirts and pants and giving the camera the deadest fucking look without even trying.
and because i was finally feeling again, i was incredibly vulnerable. my eating disorder had protected me for the shit i took on a regular basis, but i was like a little child in the deep pool now.
one day in december, i came home to my shit searched, my cigarettes thrown out, some of my diaries gone, others of them opened. and i was fucking pissed.
man, i swear to fucking god, every time i recount this event, it comes out different, because i just remember not even being there. just floating over my mother, while i screamed and begged her to leave me alone, while she didn't even flinch, cry or react.
what i do know is that i went down to the train station. i tried to call my dad, he couldn't pick up. i was shaking and crying and i didn't come home for a very long time. i don't even remember how she reacted anymore, nor most of my memories about her anymore. i don't even remember going to sleep, i just remember preparing my godforsacken 135 calorie meal and waking up and feeling like i was on another planet, but ignoring it to go take in my remaining 700-800 calories,
people say i made a choice and i'm not sure if i did. but i stopped talking to her, not a word. threw out my food if she talked about it, left the room if she walked in and absolutely refused to look at her. her voice would put me in fury, scratching myself and biting my pillows.
she tried yelling at me. i didn't react. she tried leaving letters. i burned them along with all the clothes she got me, all the food she got me, all the makeup she got me, because the one thing i do remember about that woman, is that she had never been genuine and she sure as hell wasn't gonna start, because the local authority suddenly was getting involved. i was the 'problem-child' that she'd tried her best to ~~emotionally neglect and invade the privacy of~~ prepare for the world and i was suddenly reacting ~~similar to her/out of trauma~~ completely irrationally.
and i remember christmas eve. i remember running down the street at 8 PM, dropping to my knees and screaming into the dark, because i was so sick of my eating disorder, so sick of the voices in my head, so sick of the fucking hole i had been dropped into and why couldn't i just celebrate fucking christmas?
i remember waking up at 3 in the morning, walking around the tree and spitting a biscuit into a mug, while crying through the whole ordeal.
2017 was when i had my first increase. i hadn't had my period for about half a year and i needed to change. so i said to myself "1800 calories for one week and ONE WEEK ONLY!!!"
I could only do four days. I ate most of it in chocolate.
But a month later, my period came. It was only for about 1 and a half day, but it was back. And it came regularly after that.
2017 was the year you guys welcomed me with open arms. i was a small scared child and you listened to my incoherent rants and my tips with an open heart. you were and still are my family. i'm on first name basis with most of y'all, ffs
i've fought against my recovery with tooth and nails. because i know that an eating disorder should be something that stays for life and because i know that very few people get out. if you'd asked me one year ago, if i'd be where i was now, i'd fucking laughed.
because i haven't eaten normally since i was a kid. i simply don't remember reality without an eating disorder.
what's a binge and what's normal overeating? why don't they scare me the same anymore?
why can i wear sleeveless now? i'm not supposed to be capable of that, what if i've just forgotten that i'm fat.
why do i rarely follow my calorie goals? why don't i care?
it all boils down to: why am i getting 'bad' at having an eating disorder?
and the answer is: i'm getting better. i'm getting better every day. i wake up in the morning and i look at myself, and i don't feel like dying. i put on my clothes and the feeling of the fabric on my jiggly thighs, don't even get a second thought. i go over my calories and i think to myself: 'oh well, i'll restrict tomorrow' if i'm hungry, i go get food.
and you know what? me getting better is the most unfair thing since my semen race of '01
because i see you guys; amazing artists, amazing people who care and love and you're all so funny and special and important and then there's fucking me, winning the lottery ticket.
i don't want to leave you guys behind. you're my fucking family, you raised me and loved me and protected me, when nobody did or i was too irrational to realize it. i want to bring you with me, i want to cure you all, i want to give you my happy pill, because the truth of an eating disorder is that you either get better, die or stay in a horrifying fucking limbo for the rest of your life.
my eating disorder is pretty much gone now, i'd say. i think it was in february, i started seeing myself normally for the first time. i looked in the mirror and it was like seeing an entirely new person, devoid of fat and sin. i was thin. like i'd always wanted to be. i'd even say i was decently attractive. i felt like i was looking in a funhouse mirror.
i don't want this to be goodbye. i don't want the mods to block me. and i'm probably gonna be lurking and definitely still shitposting on peach. i might not post anymore on here though.
i'm closing a chapter of my life. a horrible chapter, but a chapter where i learned a lot. where i learned how to understand and empathize with people, a chapter where i reached my lowest point, but you don't reach your lowest point without learning something and i think i did that.
so...
I don't hate you. You did your best to protect me, but you ended up hurting me. I understand you would've come no matter what, perhaps in a different form if the circumstances had been different. You've taught me about life, psychology and humans. You've taught me who I can trust and who I can't, and your instability helped me get rid of an incredibly toxic person.
However, you have also damaged me, hurt me and made me hate myself incredibly. You've reduced me to nothing and made me think I was at my greatest. You've fought and struggled for your survival, your space in my mind and for your rules to be enforced. You leave smudges on everything you touch, and that is if you don't completely ruin it. You have destroyed families, friendships and relationships, both mine and many others, and you don't plan to stop, until there's nothing, but you left. You have killed a disgusting amount of people under the promise of happiness, love or a childhood, preying mostly on the young or unstable, and for that I cannot forgive you.
You have to leave, because I have no use for you anymore. You feed on suffering, but I'm doing great. I'm feeling happy for the first time in years and I do not have any time to spare on you.
Goodbye ED.
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! March 03, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 3 05:11:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ps7h/stupid_questions_saturday_march_03_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for March 03, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 03, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 3 05:10:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ps5m/daily_food_diary_march_03_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 03, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] FOUND AN AMAZing appetite suppressant!!!!!!!
/u/peachhh629
Created: Sat Mar 3 05:08:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81prwu/found_an_amazing_appetite_suppressant/
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At restaurant with bf, we are waiting for food to arrive and he is showing me something on reddit on his phone and I accidentally see his feed subscribed to porn subs of very thin gorgeous women and Instagram models
APPETITE GONE before the waitress even brings the food over šššššš
[Help] Struggling
/u/wild-ocean
Created: Sat Mar 3 04:38:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81pnt6/struggling/
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[removed]
[Other] LPT: want to receive lots of free food? lose weight rapidly, people will shove food in your face all the time
/u/lukasimons
Created: Sat Mar 3 02:52:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81p8bn/lpt_want_to_receive_lots_of_free_food_lose_weight/
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[removed]
[Help] Having energy at work?
/u/dustycupboard2 [5'4 | CW: 110 | 18.8 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 01:34:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81oo74/having_energy_at_work/
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When my ED was at its worst in secondary school I had loads of energy even though I was only eating around 200kcal a day and drinking coffee.
Now itās seven years later, Iāve relapsed but still eating more than that, I find it hard to have the energy to do anything even though Iām taking multivitamins, drinking water, doing strength exercises and making sure to get an adequate amount of protein even if my calories are low.
What are some tips to actually have the energy to be in work and function while still restricting? Thanks for any help and hope you enjoy the weekend!
[Help] how do i get my parents to let me deal with my own meals without them getting worried?
/u/isaezraa [5'3 | CW 115 | GW 110 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 3 01:21:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81okv0/how_do_i_get_my_parents_to_let_me_deal_with_my/
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I find it impossible to find a mid ground between low restricting and bingeing, and when i dont get to control what im eating, it almost guarantees a binge
if i could just deal with my own breakfast lunch and dinner id be able to up my restriction since theres be no unknowns, meaning no lack of control, meaning no binges
any tips? mum tried to force me to eat for the first time today
[Rant/Rave] Odd man out
/u/WaitingForHealing
Created: Sat Mar 3 00:50:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ocfo/odd_man_out/
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Rant/rave I canāt pick a tag?
Iām not new but I made an account for this so people would stop going through my damn history and bothering me.
Iāve been the odd man out for a minute. It sucks.
Like in elementary school my best friend Briana preferred me over anyone else.
In middle school me and Lauren were best friends and no one could separate us.
By 10th grade I didnāt have a best friend and no one preferred me. I was always a fall back hangout or if I was a friend in a trio... the other two would pick each other for team projects and leave me alone.
I spent 18-21 having tons of friends.
I moved at 21 to a new city. I made some friends. Had a best friend even. Those friendships always ended unless you count the guy Iāve had sex with on and off for the past 3 years and the break room people I joke with at work.
There is no one to come over and drink wine when a boy breaks my heart though.
I met a guy and moved in with him. I considered him my best friend even though now I understand I was never his. Thatās fine.
He got a girlfriend and she wants me out. He wants me out. Thereās drama letās not dig into that disaster piece!
He wants me to move out and I know heāll never speak to me again.
I used to pay him for groceries and heād cook for me. He told me that until I moved we could still share food and eat dinner together.
But do you know how it feels to be the odd man out? To know no one wants you around? It feels bad man. I donāt want to eat a dinner cooked by a woman who wishes Iād get out.
I donāt want to eat with a man who decided to pick a lady heās known 3 months over a friend who cares about him. I guess I canāt talk though. Iāve only known him 11 months. Itās just that she hasnāt done jack for him and I saw him through some rough times and was always there for him.
Oh, did I mention Iām always the one giving to people with all my heart and getting not a damn thing back?
Thatās me!!!
I kept telling him I wanted to stop paying for groceries and buy my own food.
They took my squash today so I had to just tell him. Put my foot down.
I donāt have any meat and I donāt get paid til the 9th. I definitely could buy a $10
Pack of chicken breast and a $10 thing of tilapia (lowest calorie meat and fish is life blood). I guess part of me just wants to eat beans and rice and random veggies instead to punish myself.
For what? Idk for being alive. For being so good at making people not like me because Iām awkward, shy, and come off as mean because Iām awkward and shy!!!
Punish myself for always being a fuck up. For learning all my lessons the hard way...
I just want to find a private room and bathroom that allows a cat. Please. I need to pay off my debt so I can just rent an apartment.
K Iām gonna finish my wine and go to bed.
[Help] Proed instagram
/u/Elizawitch [5'3" | Female | CW: 100lbs | GW: 90lbs | UGW: 85lbs]
Created: Fri Mar 2 23:20:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81nnfc/proed_instagram/
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Instagram is kind of a hard place to find proed so are there any accounts dedicated to it that you recommend??
[Help] Eating before class?
/u/steamedbun_27 [165cm | too much / GW: 53kg | idk | -27kg | F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 23:17:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81nmgw/eating_before_class/
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So basically I have dance classes three times a week. I'm currently restricting and I don't want to faint in class (I have anemia so I get dizzy very often) what are some small snacks I can eat to sustain myself through 2 hours of dancing?
[Rant/Rave] Back to old habits
/u/mellobaby
Created: Fri Mar 2 22:53:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81nf9i/back_to_old_habits/
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Possible trigger warning, sorry in advance
I've never eaten much and during high school got hospitalized for a suspected eating disorder. I thought I was doing better because I was eating full meals but now I realized I've eaten a cosmic brownie and 3 pizza logs today. I'm terrified of going back to how I was and passing out all the time but I'm never hungry and eating makes me want to puke and I feel so fat
[Rant/Rave] IM SO DUMB
/u/blewlurker [5'3 | 125 | 22.1 | F | 18]
Created: Fri Mar 2 22:11:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81n2e5/im_so_dumb/
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I did so well with restriction this week. I made it through some family meals while I was home from school, I aced a midterm, even fit alcohol into my intake! But for some reason I binged today (not really a real binge I guess I just ate ānormalā) and now I feel so stupid. Why is it I always mess up my progress for no reason??? I didnāt NEED that burger for dinner. Iām going to the beach tomorrow with my friends and Iām just so mad at myself that I couldnāt keep my restriction going. I know tomorrow is a new day blah blah but does anyone have any tips for how to not beat yourself up too much after a binge?!
[Rant/Rave] Iām sooo happppppy!!!!! *not ed related*
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Mar 2 21:54:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81mwzj/im_sooo_happppppy_not_ed_related/
---
This has nothing to to with ED so I understand if it gets taken down. But I have been posting the most depressing shit lately and been in a super bad place so I wanted to share something positive in my life.
So I am in a new relationship with a guy Iām soooo infatuated with, and when we first started dating he was planning on going to Alaska for the summer (which I was dreading but also not wanting to worry before I have to). Well anyways he decided not to go and is going to take a job here instead working graveyard during the week. Not only is he not leaving but he also asked if I would be willing to adjust my sleeping schedule so we could still fall asleep and wake up together- bc we looove sleeping with each other. I thought that was super sweet, but I also wanted to get on the same schedule as him so we would still have time together. I wasnāt sure if my work would have a shift like that available for me but this girl who has the perfect schedule (weekday graveyard) just said she would want to switch shifts with me so that I can have those hours!!!!
This is good for sooo many reasons, I love working graveyard, itās just super inconvenient in a relationship but he would be working the same hours!! And I have worked weekends for the past three years so I will finally have weekends off!!
Iām so excited to tell him but he also hasnāt for sure gotten the job yet so thatās a lil nerve wracking and this wouldnāt start until April but so far it seems promising!!
(They love him at the company and pretty much would let him work whatever he wanted to is the impression Iām getting)
[Help] I want to be thin but I still want to grow tall
/u/KaiTheBi
Created: Fri Mar 2 20:51:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81mcrz/i_want_to_be_thin_but_i_still_want_to_grow_tall/
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I want to lose or even stay the same weight but, I don't want to stop growing. I'm 5'9" and supposed to be 6'3" but I want to be thin and tall. Is there something I can eat the will help me be tall without sacrificing my future hight
[Help] Most effective low/no calorie appetite suppressants?
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 20:48:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81mbvu/most_effective_lowno_calorie_appetite_suppressants/
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[removed]
[Help] Nausea during and after restricting?
/u/papsandwiles [5"4 | 115 | 19.7 | 20F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 20:25:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81m486/nausea_during_and_after_restricting/
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Lately I've felt super nauseous while restrcting. It feels like my stomach is burning when I'm not eating and like I ate something bad (poison bad) after I eat. Does anyone know why this might be?
[Intro] [Intro] Started a new Reddit account
/u/squishyskeleton [Height 5ā5 | CW 53kg | BMI 19.4 | Weight Lost 20+kg | F ]
Created: Fri Mar 2 19:22:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81lj27/intro_started_a_new_reddit_account/
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I used to go on here pretty regularly on an account till today. I decided to start fresh with Reddit because I felt as if I wasnāt anonymous enough and I didnāt want people I knew finding out about things I wasnāt ready to share.
Hi there! Iām 18, currently struggling with an ED. I tend to restrict heavily and exercise a lot. I like to call my ED āthe Highway to the Danger Zoneā like the song. Because Iām fast getting towards being underweight.
Iāve been suffering with an ED for a year but have had disordered tendencies for a lot longer. Since I was 12 where I would go through periods of time where I would restrict my eating.
Because Iām not anorexic or bulimic I often find myself not taking my illness seriously. To me, my problems arenāt legitimate, my weight loss not scary, because Iām not underweight. Though I canāt say it isnāt scary and worrying for everyone else in my life. I know I have a problem. But I find I canāt go out and get professional help.
While I wish I didnāt have a problem, I am glad to be part of this community because everyone here are such amazing people.
Follow me on Vent if you want to: squishyskeleton
And on Tumblr too: [squishyskeletonbones](squishyskeletonbones.tumblr.com)
Nice to meet all of you! Again. Properly.
college weight
/u/mhm646 [5'5" | CW fat | GW 125 | UGW 118 | 21F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 19:11:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81lfjl/college_weight/
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I just tried on a pair of shorts that was huge on me my freshman year of college and theyāre so uncomfortably small now. I was restricting probably a healthy amount/close to maintenance honestly but felt comfortable with my weight. Iām about to graduate and Iāve gained like 15 pounds of straight gross fat. Iāve never felt so awful. It makes me want to die/eat more/not eat/cry all at the same time. I have no motivation to count calories and exercise and I know whatever I do it wonāt go away fast enough.
What do you use for birth control?
/u/yssjfs [SW:160|LW:112|CW:130.8|GW:ā ]
Created: Fri Mar 2 19:00:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81lbnz/what_do_you_use_for_birth_control/
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Hello! Just taking some time to look into BC options, and while looking into the depo shot (which I was most interested in), I found a few sources saying that it's a terrible choice for someone with a history of eating disorders. Just wondering what everyone here uses, thanks ā¤ļø!
[Help] How to date while having an ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 2 18:18:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81kx15/how_to_date_while_having_an_ed/
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[deleted]
[Tip] PSA: Mexican food is awful to purge, do not purge spicy food.
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 134.2 | GW 115 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 18:06:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81kso6/psa_mexican_food_is_awful_to_purge_do_not_purge/
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I've been trying not to let myself purge because then it creates an excuse to eat shitty food, so I haven't been. I accidentally c/s all of yesterday and today I thought I was doing OK so I ordered myself some Mexican food.
Two meals and a lot of regret later, I tried to purge it all and it was fucking awful. I then awkwardly cried over the toilet and then had another small breakdown in my room over how ugly I've been feeling. I'm just a fucking mess today.
Would highly recommend not trying to purge any sort of spicy food, it is unpleasant and throwing up is already bad for your teeth.
[Help] i think im slipping into that dark hole again
/u/cynnamonrolls
Created: Fri Mar 2 18:01:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81kr57/i_think_im_slipping_into_that_dark_hole_again/
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Hi everyone! A little bit about me (because I don't know how to do the flair which shows CW, GW, etc): I am a 17 y/o female, 143 pounds, and I'm 5'5. I've struggled with my weight basically my entire life. My mom always called me too fat, and my grandma fed me too much as a child.
A little background:
I started losing weight going into 8th grade, where I went from 152 pounds to 119 pounds and lost my period for 9 months. I remember my goal weight being 135 pounds, but I just felt such a rush counting calories and finally being able to buy cute clothes that fit me, that I quickly developed an eating disorder and my weight just plummeted. I think that at my worst, I was eating a weighed out portion of oatmeal (dry portion: 1/2 a cup with water only). I remember weighing myself after I ate a single peanut just to make sure that I didn't gain any weight.
I went on pro-ana websites, watched hundreds of dieting videos about individuals from extreme sides of the weight spectrum (very skinny to morbidly obese). Every single meal was calculated by weight and put into a fitness app I had on my phone, and it got to the point where I would start leaving food on the plate. It didn't matter what it was (mashed potatoes, a grape, etc), as long as I left something there, I felt fine.
I put on the weight I lost again, and then some, peaking at 172 pounds last September. I felt like absolute crap, no body confidence whatsoever, and my baggy clothes began to fit normally. I ate three square meals and snacked in between, sometimes I would come home and just eat in front of my computer until I felt sick. So I started dieting again. This time, I swore up and down to myself that I would lose weight healthily, that it wouldn't be like last time, and that I wouldn't develop an ED again. And then I went on a cruise.
I don't know what it is, but whenever I'm eating in a foreign location (ie not at home), I either overdo it or underdo it. Typically if I'm hanging out with my friends, I eat and snack more.
I lost 5 pounds in 8 days. I remember weighing myself as soon as I got home and being really ecstatic but gobsmacked at the same time. On this cruise, my eating habits went from somewhat okay to absolute garbage.
Cruises have buffets for all three meals. I remember having breakfast for the first time in a long time (could only force down half a small croissant and a black coffee), but it still made me feel full and lethargic. I hung out with individuals who were much bigger than me, which caused me into eating less because I didn't want to be their size (yes, I'm well aware that I am an asshole). To put it bluntly, there was a little voice in my head that whispered "you don't want to be like them, do you?" whenever I took a bite.
In particular, I remember a moment where I got a big plate of food (a hamburger, fries, mashed potatoes, fish, chicken, two cookies, a cake) and one of them commented: "look at how much food she got, and here I only have two cookies". I later learned that it was because she ate lunch not too long ago.
My eating routine went something like this:
1. eat the fried food first (somehow if I ate it first, it was okay for me??)
2. when eating the burger/hot dog, pick off the excess bread and toppings, take a bite, pick off excess, take a bite, etc.
I always left some of each food item that I got on the plate. It started off with leaving a bite, and then 1/4 of it, and then by the end of the cruise, 1/2 of it. My plate at the end of each meal looked like a toddler just decided to rip apart the food instead of eating it.
I didn't count calories on the cruise, but with more of the food being leftover on my plate, the happier I was. There was this voice in my head that was activated after some time, basically saying "do you really want to continue eating?" and I knew that I would feel like shit if I ate even a single more mouthful.
I didn't snack on the cruise, I hit 10,000 steps every single day, and it's probably just a mental thing, but I could tell that I lost weight.
Currently, I gained around 1/2 a pound back from the cruise (it's been a week), and I'm terrified. I'm absolutely terrified of gaining weight again, I don't snack anymore. There's currently a giant tub of goldfish in my room, Twizzlers, hot Cheetos, saltines, Maltesers, dark chocolate, cookie crisps, tons of junk food in my room right now. I even leave like diet coke in every bottle, because I just can't seem to damn finish anything in my life anymore.
My friends monitor what I eat, they always try to get me to eat more, which causes me to eat less because I'm very self-conscious about my eating habits and body. I'm still trying to lose weight (GW 125), and I can feel myself slipping into my bad habits again. I am also not counting calories at the moment, mainly because I can guesstimate how many calories I eat in a day pretty well.
I still don't eat breakfast, normally eat around 250 calories at lunch, and then I have a bigger dinner, averaging around 600-800 calories. I don't exercise, mainly because I have no energy all the time, and I rely on caffeine to get me throughout the day.
Therapy isn't an option for me, as my parents are firmly against it. I do talk to my friends about my eating habits, but they don't really know how to help me, and I don't know how to fix myself either. I know that I'm still bordering overweight right now and I just want to lose more weight.
There's this twisted viewpoint in my mind, where I'm just so happy that I'm losing weight, but the other half of me is just so preoccupied with food (I think of my next meal when I'm eating and basically everywhere else).
I just want to be happy with myself, and I don't ever see that happening.
edit 1:
I don't know how relevant this is, but sometimes when I'm eating something and I feel "full", I automatically spit out the food onto the uneaten food and throw it into the garbage. If I'm eating something that isn't that tasty, I spit out whatever I can and bin it. I never drink regular soda, always diet soda. I dont like ordering diet soda at restaurants/with my friends (I tend to stick with water), because I feel like I get judged (which I sometimes do). I always explain that its because I get sugar highs, but really, its because I don't want those liquid calories. Whenever people ask me why, I tend to eat by myself every chance I get, as well.
[Rant/Rave] alcoholic partier diet!
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Mar 2 17:48:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81kmdz/alcoholic_partier_diet/
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on mobile flair as humor or something. maybe rave?
I don't enjoy food but love drinking so most of my money and calories have been to that the last few days and guess what?
I had a nutella milk shake that I split with a date and my tummy is flat and has been for a couple days. the scale can't be all right cause I feel thinner but the number can't be right just good or water bloat.
also this girl is driving me crazy I like her and it's so funny crushing on someone but not funny knowing I will probably fuck it up.
w.
[Help] Feel like a failure
/u/Lady_Kohai [5'1"|CW 103.4 | UGW 80 | 20F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 16:50:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81k1nm/feel_like_a_failure/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I guess Iām still/more fucked up than I thought
/u/2017HeyJude [1.59m | CW 47.7kg/105lb | GW 45kg/99lb | BMI 18.9]
Created: Fri Mar 2 16:46:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81k03x/i_guess_im_stillmore_fucked_up_than_i_thought/
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[on mobile sorry please flare as rant and maybe TW self harm, thank you wonderful mods]
This is going to be very messy but I just need to rant/write stuff down.
Iāve been trying to āmaintainā (or lose super slow) for a few weeks because I have lots of dental works coming on and I know Iāll take that as the golden excuse to fast/restrict for weeks. Itās been going ok~ish but February was rough because of money issues and general stress, so adding the stress of eating ānormallyā was hard.
My weight as stayed the same since early January, so some days Iām all āyeah mainteningā and some days I feel like a pig.
My SO has been unbearable and I had to walk away from our place a few times because I couldnāt stand it. I started to *midly* self-harm (not deep, just scratches, itās more of a compulsion) on my tights again even though I hadnāt done it since high school (fun fact: today I cut myself on my finger while reaching for my scissors to scratch myself. The finger bled more than the actual self harm lololol). I fantasize about the dental surgery and not eating in a few days. I know thatās bad. I just donāt really want to focus on anything else. My biggest achievement this month was buying a teen-sized pair of jeans (14 years old. Iām 30). I feel so vain and stupid for having these thoughts and compulsions.
Plus no matter how I look at it, the top of my body looks emaciated but the bottom looks chubby. WTF.
Sorry itās been pretty rambly, thank you if you read it all! I have been keeping away from this sub lately because I wanted to āmaintainā but I missed your posts and the overall cost feeling of here. š
[Tip] Ummm vegan hot chocolate game changer???
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 16:42:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81jyr6/ummm_vegan_hot_chocolate_game_changer/
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https://i.redd.it/2ox9z7sfsfj01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Physical vs mental hunger
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 16:31:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81juvl/physical_vs_mental_hunger/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Up 8 heckin lbs
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Mar 2 16:21:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81jqyy/up_8_heckin_lbs/
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This is getting soooo frustrating to me.
During the week I eat what I want and then on the weekends I fast 72 hours to debloat and get back down to 106. I have been doing this cycle since December, and pretty much maintaining (well I was 104 in December but I also got a full weave put in since then too).
ANYWAYS. Maintaining is cool I guess but I want to get back to losing!! And the number the scale goes up each week keeps increasing and I spend every weekend worried I wonāt get back to 106 by the end of my fast.
Also can I even count 106 as my weight when on average when I am eating I am around 110??
I fucking love eating with my bf during the week- going out to dinners and getting high and eating snacks- but I NEED to start losing again!!
[Help] Send me your messages/PM's :)
/u/ElectricalDeer87 [5' 7.5" | 149lbs | Goal: 95 lbs | BMI 22.4 | 16F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 16:17:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81jpg4/send_me_your_messagespms/
---
Hey,
ergh this is weird to ask, I know
But I'm feeling very freakin' lonely and I love seeing the letter icon become orange. Send me your nicest inspiration or motivation things. Anything else is absolutely 100% welcome.
Thanks, lovely people. I don't know what I can do to show support here. :c
[Discussion] What's your thinspro?
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 16:06:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81jlhe/whats_your_thinspro/
---
Take this down if it violates any rules,
But who do you guys follow on Insta for thinspro?
Im trying to find new people to follow
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend talking about how much I eat
/u/library-girl
Created: Fri Mar 2 15:47:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81jdzq/boyfriend_talking_about_how_much_i_eat/
---
Today I was talking to my boyfriend and said something along the lines of "I don't eat that much" and he proceeded to say "You're not some dainty flower or little hummingbird that's wasting away! You eat as much as I do!" He managed to reject every notion of myself that I have as small or dainty or feminine. I'm 5'0" and 150lb but it's mostly in my legs so I'm a 34-29-40 on top so I'm not huge. It just killed me and I said I had to go back to work and got off the phone. I'm sitting on the bathroom floor at work crying right now and have to go back in and finish up nap time with my preschoolers and I'm just a wreck.
[Tip] Guys I found a scale that doesn't show water weight
/u/waitupana [15M | 147cm (4'10)]
Created: Fri Mar 2 15:01:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ivh8/guys_i_found_a_scale_that_doesnt_show_water_weight/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "It's a band-aid"
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80lbs | 15.1 | -23lbs | f]
Created: Fri Mar 2 14:59:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81iujj/its_a_bandaid/
---
So, yesterday i went in for my monthly doctor visit/blood draw. It's unpleasent, but it's a small price to pay for my potassium supplements I'd die without.
It didn't go well this time.
I'm relatively stable, physically speaking. I rarely lose weight. I rarely gain weight. Blood pressure is a little low, but my heart rate and oxygen are good. My only acutely dangerous issue is chronically low blood potassium levels because I happen to have a purging-type variant disorder. For nearly a year this has been maintained by the supplements i've been taking since a hospitalization brought to light that that issue had re-emerged, and i've been able to enjoy decent health, minor symptoms like fatigue and intolerance to the cold aside.
But he doesn't want to keep prescribing them. Doesn't want to keep "putting a band-aid on it."
He wants me back in counseling. Wants me to try harder. However, treatment has invariably worsened my condition. Inpatient left me not only even more tangled in my disorder, but also suicidal for the first time in my life. Therapy makes me anxious, irritable, and bingey. Countless good days were ruined by concluding in an exhausting, fruitless session. I do best when i'm just left on my own.
I've had an eating disorder for six years. I have never experienced a prolonged lapse in symptoms. I've never even wanted to. There have been times i've wanted to want to, but i don't, and even if i did, i can't. This is a part of me. It's a fault in my code. It's never going away.
This is as good as it gets, what i have right now. I'm completely certain that i'll have this illness until the day i die. I just want to keep taking my pills to make sure that that day is as far away as possible.
I'm terrified he'll cut me off. Or that he'll try to have me hospitalized. I'm 18, i'm not losing weight, and all it takes to keep me out of danger is harmless supplements that have no medical reason to not be taken indefinitely.
Can i even *be* hospitalized?
I have no idea because apparently that information is harder to find than i expected.
I don't even know what would be worse- losing the supplements and eventually having a heart attack, or hospitalization.
I just know i'm scared and I want answers i can't have.
Just let me have my goddamn band-aid.
I want to live the best life i fam for as long as I can. My eating disorder will always be a part of it, whether I, or anyone else, likes it.
You'd think a doctor of all people would understand that sometimes diseases just can't be cured, and that a band-aid is sometimes all that can be done.
[Help] Fasting and cardio/resistance training?
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 113.2 | 21.45 | -7 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 14:55:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81it44/fasting_and_cardioresistance_training/
---
According to my charts, I'm not losing weight on 8-900 calories a day. I've been i a plateau for two weeks, and that's never happened to me before. On my last restriction cycle, I never moved, fasted 4 days a week, and lost 2 pounds a week, but I also have normal-weight obesity now because of the loss of muscle mass. This time I've tried mid-high restriction with strength training, but I'm losing NOTHING!!
So maybe I have to throw in a fasting day every couple of days. I'd be fine with that, except how the hell do you fast and also work out? I think to myself, "I can't starve today; I'll need energy to work out." And then the next day I'll think, "I can't starve today; I'm recovering from working out and I need protein." But I HAVE to fast SOMETIME because this is getting me NOWHERE!!! I'm not losing pounds OR inches and bloody hell I'm SICK of being FAT!!!!
Has anyone else managed to integrate fasting and workouts? Can you exercise and actually accomplish anything in a fasted state?
[Other] me_irl
/u/PinkyOutYo
Created: Fri Mar 2 14:20:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81iek2/me_irl/
---
https://i.redd.it/0uxh8cvw2fj01.png
[Rant/Rave] Moved into my boyfriends house
/u/honeybrownbunny
Created: Fri Mar 2 14:01:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81i6sj/moved_into_my_boyfriends_house/
---
1. I don't have a scale anymore as I was using my old roommates. It's driving me nuts that mfp has the same projected weight every day bc I can't update my weight loss. I think I'll walk the 5 miles to the store tonight to buy a new one.
2. Boyfriend and his current roommate eat like NORMAL humans but pretty small amounts. I think it's positive on my eating habits to see people prepare and consume actual meals. I've never even thought of that. But I'm trying now.
3. Unrelated sort of but boyfriend has been calling me a new pet name the past 3 days... "my big girl". And I fucking flinch and the entire mood of the air switches afterwards. I think he means it in the way you call a dog or cat "big girl" and says it with the same tone, but still. We're about the same size and height and I get it because I'm really tall, but all the girls he's been with before were tiny and short and I'm just tall and average : ) I have been wearing his clothes as mine are all packed still and I can't wait for the day when I can't anymore because they fall off. He also likes to try to pick me up often and I hate that too.
I would communicate to him that these things bother me but I want him to notice a conscious difference when I'm down to my goal weight and I want him to be shocked I guess.
My brain is playing war games
My ED is the only thing to give me comfort.
/u/-serendipity_
Created: Fri Mar 2 13:37:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81hwi3/my_ed_is_the_only_thing_to_give_me_comfort/
---
I used to think an ED will be the one thing I would never have to deal with, now itās the only thing I can hold on to. I do have friends and family, but they truly do not care, none of them have ever reached out to help, even when it was clear I needed it, yet Iām always the first person for someone to confide in. The only person that truly cared for me decided suddenly they didnāt and left me for someone else, through no fault of my own. Iām truly alone now, I donāt look forward to anything apart from losing weight. Iām now just waiting to see what kills me first, my ED or myself.
Sorry for the depressing rant, thank you to anyone that bothered to read it.
[Help] Does anyone know why I have these dots around my eyes?
/u/PainlessMe [17F | 1.75 | CW: 61.1 | GW: 50 | SW: 70.1]
Created: Fri Mar 2 13:23:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81hqu5/does_anyone_know_why_i_have_these_dots_around_my/
---
https://i.redd.it/umx5ka8ysej01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] You can't have a binge cycle if you never stop binging...
/u/beluga_fail [5'4.5" | 112.6 lbs | - 10ish lbs | 15F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 13:06:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81hjff/you_cant_have_a_binge_cycle_if_you_never_stop/
---
The longest I've gone since developing an eating disorder without binging is about five days. After starting purging, everything just got worse. I'm weaker than ever, my teeth ache all the time, and I keep gaining and losing the same five pounds. I want to stop - I really do - but I don't want to stop restricting. I just want to snap my fingers and have the binging go away so that I can finally lose weight.
New vape and on restriction
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 2 12:40:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81h8ty/new_vape_and_on_restriction/
---
https://imgur.com/eGJXGzM
[Rant/Rave] The quickest way to lose weight
/u/skydiver89 [5'4" CW 133 GW 125 UGW 115]
Created: Fri Mar 2 12:04:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81gu24/the_quickest_way_to_lose_weight/
---
Is to get your heart broken.
Nothing is appealing.
All you can do is cry and sleep.
I fucking loved him for three years. Even when I was with other people, I'd sometimes lay in bed at night and cry silently because I missed him. He admitted the other day he led me on and used me so he could get attention. He apologized so much and I forgive him.
But I still love him. And knowing we can never even hold hands ever again is killing me.
I successfully puked up some of my food the other day because I binged. I started crying about him while doing it. Looking in the mirror I don't even recognize myself.
I'm 100% committed to getting better, but this has set me back so much. :(
[Help] Do measurements have a whoosh or just scale numbers?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 12:01:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81gsq1/do_measurements_have_a_whoosh_or_just_scale/
---
I should be down a few pounds but Iām not seeing a difference anywhere.
[Rant/Rave] So depressed and feel like my habits are killing me.
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Fri Mar 2 11:50:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81gobf/so_depressed_and_feel_like_my_habits_are_killing/
---
On top of my ED I have chronic health problems for around 5 years, almost 6. Chronic headache, thyroid problems, chronic nerve and muscle pain, etc etc etc. I even was bedridden for a year just stuck in bed unable to move. Now that my ED has come back ( was able to ignore it/recover a few years ago) I've been feeling okay but it's like I'm waiting for it to affect my health condition. For over several months I've been restricting to 500 cal or under.
Yesterday only had 117 calories. I feel so depressed all the time because I know I'm destroying myself. When my health condition finally has gotten better my ED comes back. I'm so afraid that I'm slowly killing myself. My mom is worried and knows I have an eating problem. For my own health she's mention admitting me to a hospital- not apposed really. I self harm as well but she doesn't know. She fears that I'm going to try and commit suicide or something. I'm not sure- and that I'm not eating enough and need treatment for that idk. I know it's just a matter of time until my body gives out again. I feel so lost and I have no friends- I don't hang out with anyone like a normal person. I stay in my room or my house and do things with my mom- I'm 19 FYI.
The people I do know I don't like because they don't try hard enough to be kind like I do and reach out. All I really want is for someone to reach out to me and ask "Hey, are you okay?" Some people have noticed I've lost a lot of weight. Oh- and my stats on Reddit are really old. I'm too afraid to get on the scale even though I know I weight a ton less- but I can't face it mentally. If you read this thank you so much. I feel so hopeless because I know I'm destroying myself.
Set me free.
[Help] Adderall for weight loss?
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Mar 2 11:49:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81gnsp/adderall_for_weight_loss/
---
[removed]
[Goal] New Doctor kicks ass!!
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 103 | 16.6 | GW: 98| 35/F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 11:41:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81gkkj/new_doctor_kicks_ass/
---
So if you donāt remember or youāre new or you donāt care enough to keep track.... about a month ago my doctor stopped prescribe me my adhd meds and my anxiety/depression meds because my weight was too low. I went for a 2nd opinion with a new Doctor. He was so great!! He definitely feels I need to be on adhd meds and tweaked my anxiety/depression meds for better results. It was so nice to be taken seriously and not be scolded (though if I drop too much too fast, heāll switch up my meds too). Anyway! I am so happy to go back to ānormalā and be able to get my work completed. Happy Friday!!
[Help] Wondering if I should eat today
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Mar 2 11:34:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ghob/wondering_if_i_should_eat_today/
---
I am having a surprisingly good day compared to how I have felt lately. I am also 12 hours into my weekly 72 hour fast to make up for eating like an asshole all week.
Buuuut today I am taking my clients to Red Robin, my favorite restaurant and it sounds sooo good. Iām almost feeling like a normal person but I have a pretty strong feeling the self hate will come back if I give in and eat today.
[Rant/Rave] Spent $50 this am buying exclusively diet drinks but also got this cool cup hopefully to help me drink more fluids
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Mar 2 11:09:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81g91o/spent_50_this_am_buying_exclusively_diet_drinks/
---
https://i.redd.it/gv1v0pb15ej01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I miss being a normal person.
/u/majc93 [5'2 | CW 138 | GW 110 | BMI 25.2I | F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 10:58:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81g5rl/i_miss_being_a_normal_person/
---
It's my first time posting here, but I've been lurking this sub for a couple of months, and only quite recently started commenting on other posts. I've seen how supportive you guys are, and here is the only place I really feel comfortable posting this I guess...
I just really fucking miss being a normal person. Not wanting to die all the time. I miss going to bed and thinking about what the next day is gonna be like instead of planning out the least painful way to die knowing that I'll never go through with it until my parents die. I hate going out with my boyfriend and not having my night ruined by food. Last time I went to the mall with my boyfriend, I had a mental breakdown because of a milkshake. NOT because I ate it, because I didn't. I just saw my boyfriend have a milkshake and I wanted to have one so bad but just ONE milkshake was over 1200 calories. And that got me thinking how I'll probably never eat like a normal person, because I'll just be fat if I do. Not that I'm not fat now, because lord knows I should lose a couple (or 20) pounds. I exercise, I count my calories, yet somehow I'm still not losing weight, I am sometimes even GAINING. FML.
Sorry for the rambling. I just... want to fucking die so much. I can feel myself pushing everyone who cares about me away, and I can't seem to stop. I'm at a place in my life where I don't have healthcare or access to a medical professional, which I have done in the past and has helped immensely. How do you guys cope with these feelings of worthlessness and your depression? Do you think there will ever be a point in your life where you will be "normal"?
[Rant/Rave] School breakfast party
/u/sum1inphx
Created: Fri Mar 2 10:52:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81g443/school_breakfast_party/
---
I hate myself right now. In one of my college classes we are having a breakfast party. My plan was to pick at a muffin to appear normal. I lost all control.
I ate half a waffle, half a muffin, a bite of a pop tart, and half of a hash brown. Iām kicking myself right now because I almost full on binged.
I have a date tonight and Iāll have to eat there or else heāll suspect something. I can literally feel myself getting fatter. Iām trying not to cry in class right now but itās so hard. I just want to be perfect. Iām 5ā9, 118 pounds. I feel like I look huge. My goal weight of 110 looks so far away now. I feel so alone
[Rant/Rave] iām so discouraged.
/u/HeartSecret [70" | CW 135 | CGW 125 | UGW 118 | female]
Created: Fri Mar 2 10:32:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81fycn/im_so_discouraged/
---
sorry in advance for the long and whiny post.
iām just so discouraged. i am currently stuck mostly in bed due to injury/illness... i canāt fast as well as i could in the past... i canāt get out and exercise off the extra calories i eat... i feel nauseous 24/7... iām not getting anything productive done... iāve been fighting with my BF like craaazy, because he keeps doing bonehead things (like drinking my ONE drink i keep in the fridge of unsweetened cashew/almond milk and then he says: āwell why donāt you just drink the half&half?ā yeah. WHY DONT I? *hmmmm*)... and then he contacts my fucking ED therapist to say iām going too far... and now sheās on my ever growing ass...
and meanwhile, iām fatter than ever. i feel almost like just saying fuck it! and giving up and eating everything. ugh.
[Discussion] DAE feel like posting "accountability" posts always backfires for them?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 137 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 09:07:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81fadj/dae_feel_like_posting_accountability_posts_always/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I donāt even know what to call this, Iām so mad..
/u/UnlikelyTaste
Created: Fri Mar 2 08:10:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81evhb/i_dont_even_know_what_to_call_this_im_so_mad/
---
OH MY GOODNESS I CANT EVEN
sorry for the clichĆ©d opening sentence but can I just say that not all anorexics look underweight? So Iām anorexic as professionally diagnosed with a BMI of 16 and I told my friend today and she cocked her head sideways and put her hands on my ribs and said āoh but youāre not skinnyā in such a dumb tone of voice. This only makes me more triggered and yeah
So thatās my rant and I hope people can relate but yeah...
Side note: anyone have any good appetite suppressants?
[Discussion] Those pricey, healthy, nichƩ 'hippie' pantry staples
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 109 | GW2: 105 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Fri Mar 2 08:01:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81et2e/those_pricey_healthy_nichƩ_hippie_pantry_staples/
---
You know, the sort of nichƩ foods and nutrition powders you get from the health food shop.
I'm kind of obsessed! I rarely overeat these foods and, I don't know, I feel like I have a better attitude towards eating and find it easier to meet my goals when I have them in my diet.
Anyone relate, or even get what I'm on about here? My personal favourites:
* **Almonds** (ultimate safe food for me)
* **Dates** *(25g almonds & 50g dates are my go to lunch)*
* **Cacao nibs** ( a teaspoon over sliced apple mmmmmm)
* **Dried apple slices** ( two after my final meal completely stops me overeating more)
* **Muesli** (1/3 cup with hot soya - super filling)
* **Rice cakes**
* **Natural oil free peanut butter**
* **Chia seeds** (hot chia pudding with cinnamon, also supper filling)
* **Nutritional yeast** (mylove.jpeg)
*...aaand I'm broke* but they do last me forever.
[Discussion] March 2nd, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 06:58:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ed7d/march_2nd_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
Sweet or salty?
[Goal] How do you get back in to restricting (or at least taper off of bingeing)?
/u/iCanSabotageMeByMyse [Female|Height 5ā6|CW 140|SW 196|GW 125]
Created: Fri Mar 2 06:42:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81e9p3/how_do_you_get_back_in_to_restricting_or_at_least/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DAE have bipolar disorder? How do you begin to cope with both an ED and BP?
/u/vondahl [5ā6 | cw: 115 | gw: 105 | 25F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 06:35:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81e88e/dae_have_bipolar_disorder_how_do_you_begin_to/
---
This has been my life for a while and I mostly feel bad about it bc if how it affects my husband and my marriage. Iām always in my own head and donāt give him enough love and attention even tho I love him so much... I probably should see a therapist but I donāt know what theyād even say to help.
Edit: I feel so validated and not so alone. Thanks everyone for your kindness and support!
[Rant/Rave] I have a girlfriend potentially and my ED is going to ruin it.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Mar 2 06:34:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81e838/i_have_a_girlfriend_potentially_and_my_ed_is/
---
on mobile flair as rant or rave please.
I do a lot of karaoke and have gone out a lot. just doing shots and vodka sodas and socialising a lot. I ended up hitting it off with this girl and we both like we're super into each other's songs and totally flirting and so she left I got said cause I only got her name.
then she came back and said "hey I need you now. please pretend to be my partner so this guy who sold me coke doesn't try to take me home" as a friend I was happy to help and pretend I did. hands on each other, holding hands. a peck or short kiss nothing too serious or too PDA. he leaves and we keep flirting then go out to smoke.
I make a joke to break the conversation. "your pretend kisses are week boo" so she says "oh yeah" cue intense handsy make out session and then closing out the bar and going to an all night diner.
cuddling in a booth sipping a nutella milk shake (that tasted like sex) lost in each other's eyes and all I think about it. fuck I don't know how many calories are in this milkshake and my thighs look fat in these jeans and she only likes me when we're drunk this won't happen again. she seems to really like me.
I don't deserve love or kindness or this beautiful human. she is so sweet and supportive and I even told her about my ED and she just held me and told me it was ok and that it's nothing to be ashamed of and that she's glad I'm better (I'm not. I'm actively struggling still) I always talk about my ED passively like I'm over it when I'm not.
I adore this girl and she could be good for me and I just feel like I am going to fuck if up. ED get a jealous and will ruin me and not let me have peace.
tangent rant. saw my friend earlier yesterday and we hung out and looked at art and she told me she lost weight and made it back down to 120lbs at 5'5" and now I feel like I need to be smaller even though I'm 4 inches taller (6 inches taller today thanks to adorable heels) why do I feel like I need to be smaller than everyone when I'm kinda tall? what the fuck. I feel hideous.
silver linings because I'm trying to find those too.
I might a a girlfriend now who could be good for me if I don't Fuck it up. she's in the restraunt industry too and freakingadorable.
I dyed my hair teal and it looks pretty great with my little pixie going on. sort of cute from neck up not going to lie. C said the room lit up when I walked in cause my aesthetic I guess.
the regular karaoke host wants me to send him songs I want to do because he thinks I'm really good at singing and people enjoy me and that I shouldn't be stiffled by limited selection of songs. (did some Amy Winehouse tonight ha).
the song comes to mind.
I cheated myself,
Like I knew I would,
I told you I was trouble,
You know that I'm no good.
I want to have a normal life and relationship but I feel like I can't
W.
[Discussion] Any other ftm trans guys here?
/u/1-800-R-U-PRAYING [160cm | CW: 67.1kg | GW: 50kg | Gender: FtM (he/him)]
Created: Fri Mar 2 06:33:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81e7w4/any_other_ftm_trans_guys_here/
---
Wondering how many of us are here. I've noticed FtM in a few flares.
I had top surgery in December and have relapsed since...not as bad as when I was younger but I've lost 12lbs in a month
Does anyone else feel like the skinnier you are the better you will pass?
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! March 02, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 2 05:12:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ds25/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_march/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for March 02, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 02, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 2 05:12:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ds15/daily_food_diary_march_02_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 02, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Goal] FINALLY FIT INTO MY SIZE 12 DRESS
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 04:12:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81die5/finally_fit_into_my_size_12_dress/
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I was in a very abusive relationship three years back and to get out of the house I used to just spend hours at the gym. I read a whole book trilogy on an elliptical machine. I also didn't have much money for things other than rent, the gym and food because my boyfriend "couldn't find a job" aka couldn't stop playing the PS4 - dick weasel.
Anyways, so I was getting to be rather thin and hating life with a shitty job and my friend at the time suggested we go second hand shopping. I bought this gorgeous blue and yellow dress for $5 in a size 12 along with other size 12 clothing.
After some time I stopped being a moron and dumped my ex, got a new lovely boyfriend and...well you've all been there. Dates include a meal and the gym isn't as much fun as sex so you stop going. Soon my cute size 12 clothes go from perfect fit...to tight...to causing muffin top...to not fitting all together. So naturally in some fat logic I told myself I was better off without them and replaced them with size 14 clothes, except for my cute blue and yellow dress.
The reason for this long winded post is that tonight I tried on my blue and yellow dress and for the first time in three years I got it to zip up. it was tight, my husband said it looked uncomfortable and my god it was (I almost passed out from sucking my gut in) BUT IT ZIPPED UP.
Three years of weight gain reversed (well...almost šš) . If I can do it so can you!
I just donāt see it, therefore it canāt be true
/u/b_elle
Created: Fri Mar 2 03:59:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81dgb2/i_just_dont_see_it_therefore_it_cant_be_true/
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I weighed myself this morning: 93 kg. For reference I am almost 6 feet/182 cm and just turned 26.
I have not weighed this little in YEARS. I remember in preparation for prom I went from 115 kg to 98ish kg and was only eating: 1 serving of fruit, 3 servings of veggies, an egg+egg white omelette, 2 rye crackers and a 35 calorie yogurt + taking hydroxycut for ~3 months. I had to have my dress taken in twice. Itās funny because I was having control / boy issues then (which seemed dire in my 17/18 year old mind), and Iām definitely having them now. Clearly restricting is my coping mechanism l o l
I donāt have a scale, but weighed myself over Christmas break-115 kg. To be fair I was having the period of a lifetime, and my daily caloric intake was probably 50% cheese and 50% processed grains (pasta, risotto, panini.. can you guess what country I was in?). I donāt actually think that I really weighed 115 kg, was probably retaining heaps of water, but thatās what the scale said. I think Iām typically around 105 ish kg.
January/February were brutal. I had all my cumulative exams/projects (Iām doing a masters of science) and I was having guy issues. My life totally felt out of control; The relationship I had with the guy fizzled our even though I was desperately trying to make it work, exams were brutal, I didnāt know what courses I was taking the next semester/searching for internships and I had a bit of an identity crisis/breakdown.
Tracking and restricting (about 800 ish calories a day) just felt so comforting. I couldnāt control any other aspect of my life, but you better believe I had a firm grip on whatever was going into my mouth. I really only had 1 binge; I was super hungover and couldnāt stop myself. It was probably around 2000 calories ish, on top of the 800 I had already consumed for the day.
But weighing myself and seeing 93 kg was an out of body experience. I donāt believe it. This is the least I have weighed since I can remember; my previous diet attempts would always stall around 100 kg, a constant plateau point. Wouldnāt it be more obvious in my body if I had lost so much weight? I genuinely donāt see any difference in my body... maybe because I am still so overweight? Iām also quite tall, so this might play a factor on how my weight is reflected on my frame?
Sorry this was so rambling, I just had to share these thought somewhere. All love <3
[Discussion] What do you find is the difference between high restriction with lots of exercise vs low restriction with only a little exercise
/u/Bleepbloopbroke [65|CW 106.4|GW 95|UGW 84|17.91| -26.6| F]
Created: Fri Mar 2 01:31:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81cui9/what_do_you_find_is_the_difference_between_high/
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Just curious. Thinking of eating a bit more but also exercising a lot more
[Discussion] What are some misconceptions about EDs before yours started?
/u/kein-08-15 [5'8/172 cm | CW144 lbs/65 kg | BMI 22.1]
Created: Fri Mar 2 01:10:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81cr2n/what_are_some_misconceptions_about_eds_before/
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I used to think only really skinny/ underweight people have an ED. It never occurred to me that it has been a journey to get where they are at the moment.
I also used to think people with an ED could just fast for days without feeling hungry - now I know thatās straight up a lie because sometimes it is just a pain in the ass and all you wanna do is eat.
Follow up questions: what do you think could be done to prevent EDs?
[Discussion] To the People Who Donāt Get Their Period Anymore....
/u/bunntendo [Height5'7 | CW122 | BMI19 | GW110 | GenderNB]
Created: Fri Mar 2 00:37:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81cm83/to_the_people_who_dont_get_their_period_anymore/
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do you still experience pms/bloating before when you might have typically gotten it? i havent gotten mine this month yet, (an achievement?), definitely not pregnant or anything, but ive gained weight, and idk if its because of bloat or because ive been easier on myself and not purging my binges :/ , maybe a mix of both?
[Other] not really ed related but this is the only community ive found were the people are actually kind
/u/isaezraa [5'3 | CW 115 | GW 110 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 23:04:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81c7vq/not_really_ed_related_but_this_is_the_only/
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sorry if this breaks any rules, feel free to remove if you have to
ive been working at this fruit shop for a year now and its really hard to memorise all the different produce and their buttons and all that stuff, it took me about a month to get confident with it but a year to stop making mistakes, untill today that is, i overcharged this one lady by a dollar, she was really polite about it and didnāt really mind but my boss came over and grilled me on how its unacceptable to be making mistakes and now im in the bathroom crying, this used to happen a lot but i thought my streek of doing everything right would stop him from being mad at one little mistake but i guess i was wrong
anyway, i dont know if i should quit or not, ive been thinking about it for a while and the only things i like about this job is that its close to home and the hours are the same everyweek
im just really upset and i feel like such a pussy since its over nothing
[Goal] [Update] There is a weight loss challenge at work that I joined.
/u/Just_a_Paper_Bag [5'8" | F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 22:56:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81c6dn/update_there_is_a_weight_loss_challenge_at_work/
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I won and got a free paid day off! I'm already using it for tomorrow because we are about to be slammed at work and damn it! I deserve it.
The person who got second didn't even lose half as much as I did and I lost twice as much as the first place male did. I feel like I should have got both prizes, lol.
Every one at work was asking me if I was going to celebrate by stuffing my face. Is that really how other people view this sort of thing?
Thanks to those who wished me luck and know that you're all awesome.
[Rant/Rave] Most of my calories come from alcohol
/u/DaenerysScarletWitch
Created: Thu Mar 1 22:22:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81c0hs/most_of_my_calories_come_from_alcohol/
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Which is definitely something I need to work on, I know I drink too much, but Iāve been through a lot lately and itās the only thing thatās been helping. Iām eating less than I have in a while because Iām trying to compensate. I feel so guilty about myself. Iām terrified of gaining more weight. Im trying not to eat for as long as I can hold out. I lasted today, and Iām hoping I can get one more day In before eating something. Iām diagnosed as bulimic, not anorexic. Iām really sorry, this post is all over the place. Iām just really upset with myself and needed to vent
[Rant/Rave] youāre all disgusting
/u/ABAtheninja
Created: Thu Mar 1 22:18:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81bzp5/youre_all_disgusting/
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[removed]
[Other] "It's a game to you, and you're losing"
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 21:58:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81bvyc/its_a_game_to_you_and_youre_losing/
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https://i.redd.it/3i7qb5vt7aj01.png
[Help] How is this possible ? 115 kg -> 93 without really realizing ?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 1 21:49:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81bu4a/how_is_this_possible_115_kg_93_without_really/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I am AN ACTUAL PIG ama
/u/sh4mefull
Created: Thu Mar 1 21:11:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81bml1/i_am_an_actual_pig_ama/
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Lurker no more. This is my wake up call / breaking point. All yesterday and today I binged HARD on so much chocolate candy. A very noticable enough amount to make my father begin wondering if someone is sneaking into our house (for instance, like when we're all outside walking the dogs or something. Sometimes I do actually leave the front door unlocked, only because I never go too far out to walk the older dog and the neighborhood I live in is relatively safe and quiet).
Anyway, he had just bought those candies a day or two ago and I've made a huge dent in each kind except the coconut ones. Both my sister and I hate coconut, and she's been gone this past month and just got back home yesterday. Plus, my sister eats like a bird, so there's no way he could ever think it was her. I'm most unwilling to admit this because they know that for the past several months I had become vegan, and those candies I binged on were, in fact, not vegan. I am a disgusting gluttonous monster. When I binge it's either on my (vegan) food, or (rarely, and in secret--obviously), on their non-vegan food, especially if I'm feeling like complete crap that day.
I was in my room and overheard them whispering some things to each other that I couldn't catch during all of this. I'm mortified to think that they would suspect me, even though it would be the sad actual truth. So I need to stop being a lousy daughter, sister, and vegan.
God, help me. I am an actual pig.
(On mobile, please flair) Rant / Rave, Sad Intro, Gross, etc.
[Discussion] NEDA Week is used as an excuse to post sick pictures
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 117 | BMI 18.5?| -15 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 21:02:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81bkta/neda_week_is_used_as_an_excuse_to_post_sick/
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Instagram annoyance for me. Discuss.
Favorite pasta/tomato sauces?
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9 | CW160 | GW120 | BMI23.20 | 20F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 20:50:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81bifn/favorite_pastatomato_sauces/
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First: I'm the biggest slut for shirataki noodles. I love the crunch and the texture of them better than regular noodles and I highly recommend you try them if you find them
I wanted to see if there's any tomato-based sauces that you all would consider safe. The one I have now (Tantillo marinara) is 75cal per 80 grams and around 4 grams of sugars (since overly sweet sauce tastes bad imo) but it still kinda makes me nervous. Anybody here sauce?
[Rant/Rave] I have a problem
/u/sunshinechihuahua
Created: Thu Mar 1 20:26:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81bdck/i_have_a_problem/
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As all of us do.
I just can't stop and I hate myself for it. I'm sitting here so full that I feel like I'm going to vomit. Again. And I don't know why I keep doing it. I'm addicted. Obsessed. It's all I think about.
I just made a plate of food a couple of minutes ago. About half way through I became physically uncomfortable because I was so full. Kept on eating. I was down to two bites. I thought you know what, you can put the damn fork down and just stop. Immediately after that, I thought but you won't, you know you won't, why even bother trying to convince yourself. And I forced those last two bites down my throat. And I feel disgusting.
I don't know why I do this to myself. I don't know how to stop. Thanks for reading, just wanted to get this off my chest.
Accountability buddy?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 1 19:56:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81b6wk/accountability_buddy/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81b6wk/accountability_buddy/
[Rant/Rave] dae fuck up their binge free month already?
/u/peachybummer [5'3" | CW: 115 | GW: 95 | 23NB]
Created: Thu Mar 1 17:39:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81ac25/dae_fuck_up_their_binge_free_month_already/
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support thread for any of yāall who messed up today. i HAD to buy peanut butter and crackers yesterday. and this weekend i have to be in social situations that involve eating woo boy i sense restriction coming soon...
but itās ok! buying tea and la croix to keep the binges at bay. im gonna drop this weight again goddammit.
[Rant/Rave] Alright fourth post in an hour
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Thu Mar 1 17:20:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81a7hf/alright_fourth_post_in_an_hour/
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Iām fucking angry bc my stupid brain makes issues out of things that are fucking not a big deal.
I weigh 106 at 5ā1- thatās a good size and not fat but I feel like it is?? And if I stay at this weight or even gain a couple lbs that would be perfectly fine and normal. But NOPE NOT FOR ME.
today I ate two tamales, esquites and a churro which is a normal amount of food and fucking delicious but I felt compelled to throw it up and hate myself for it??
I just jogged for 20 min straight and then walked an incline for an hour but thatās not good enough bc I still have energy. And I didnāt do any strength training so basically I did nothing today. Plus I ate earlier (even tho I threw it up) so none of it counts.
I get high and eat a bunch of snacks- like any normal person would do but bc my brain is fucked up itās considered a binge.
Basically Iām just pissed bc I canāt turn my brain off and I over think fucking everything. And in the grand scheme I donāt even have it that bad- all I have to do is change my fucking mind state but I fucking canāt.
[Discussion] Has anyone watched The Big Ward?
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 17:00:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81a2lb/has_anyone_watched_the_big_ward/
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I think (?) it was just released to Netflix (in the US at least, filmed in 2016). Itās about obese patients hoping to get weight loss surgery. Itās kind of like my 600 pound life but more...upbeat? Just wanted to know if anyone else had watched. (Also, filmed in NZ so accents š)
[Rant/Rave] Just hit a new low
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7 | 121 | 18.95 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Thu Mar 1 16:57:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81a1t8/just_hit_a_new_low/
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[removed]
[Help] Been thinking about self harm more and more lately
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Thu Mar 1 16:45:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/819yu8/been_thinking_about_self_harm_more_and_more_lately/
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This is my third post in fucking half an hour so clearly Iām fucking spiraling.
I havenāt hurt myself in like over four years and it has hardly even crossed my mind.
But lately I am just so fucking hopeless I donāt know what to do. I canāt get help, No one in my life is actually able to help me more than just listening. All I want to do is eat and at the same time starve myself. I have never been this depressed before, to the point where I just want to isolate myself. I know itās fucking stupid but I am thinking more and more about self harming. I probably wonāt because my boyfriend would notice then he will know Iām fucking crazy.
[Help] Purging?
/u/Frinada [5'4 | 154 | 26.4 | 0lbs | Girl]
Created: Thu Mar 1 16:43:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/819yib/purging/
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Does anyone else here feel the need to purge even after eating a normal meal? I hate that my first thought after eating is to hide in the bathroom as soon as possible to throw up. Any tips to cope?
[Help] Laxatives don't work if I eat after
/u/TacosGetMeThrough [š 5ā4|28F|SW: 183|CW: 163|GW1: 120]
Created: Thu Mar 1 16:40:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/819xil/laxatives_dont_work_if_i_eat_after/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] EC stacking doesnāt even work anymore
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Thu Mar 1 16:35:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/819wa7/ec_stacking_doesnt_even_work_anymore/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Finally tried to get help and now I feel worse
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Thu Mar 1 16:22:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/819sxb/finally_tried_to_get_help_and_now_i_feel_worse/
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If anyone has been paying attention to my posts, shit has been getting really bad.
I made an appt with a counselor at my college and today I had an initial phone interview that they make you do before your first actual appointment. The lady agreed that things are really bad for me and I need help, then I told her Iām not going to classes right now because I am waiting to get accepted into the nursing program (and the thought of classes right now is unbearable). Because Iām not currently in classes I donāt qualify for free counseling- and she doesnāt know of any resources for me that would be affordable.
I also reached out to my insurance to see if I am covered for mental healthcare and I would have to pay for everything out of pocket.
So basically there is nothing I can do and I feel so fucking hopeless. I donāt know what to do anymore.
I also purged for the first time in over two weeks today in a fucking Walgreens bathroom then proceeded to buy $40 worth of food to eat later.
[Other] i'm in an abusive relationship with my body
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | "maintaining" | 22f]
Created: Thu Mar 1 16:12:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/819qcy/im_in_an_abusive_relationship_with_my_body/
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*cw for allusion to abuse*
if a friend called me a fat, disgusting piece of shit and told me to lose ten pounds, i would stop hanging out with them.
if my partner forced me to restrict to less than 800 calories per day and shamed me for wanting to eat more, if they called my body disgusting when i looked in the mirror, i would be *so* angry and sad.
if a family member made me take laxatives or obsessively work out to the point of unhealthy exhaustion or cry after eating pizza or grabbed my stomach and thighs in disgust, i wouldn't tolerate it.
i would never maintain a relationship with someone who treated my body with this disrespect, who encouraged and forced me to hurt myself with food. so why is it okay when it's myself who's doing it? i have an abusive relationship to my body, and i tolerate it every single day.
[Help] Talking to my Dr about BED meds
/u/Mother_of_Doxies [5'4" | CW 153 lbs | -27 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 16:02:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/819np7/talking_to_my_dr_about_bed_meds/
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How do I broach the subject of having BED and wanting to get medications for it with my PCP who I maybe only see once a year? Iām embarrassed to bring it up with her because Iām also a health care professional, I have never disclosed this in my medical history, and I donāt want her to think Iām fishing for Vyvanse or Topamax, which a lot of people abuse. Any tips or words of support?
[Discussion] EDs and relationships - how do you deal?
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Thu Mar 1 16:02:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/819nl0/eds_and_relationships_how_do_you_deal/
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HI lovelies <3
I am just wondering how you guys deal with relationships (new or long term) in relation to your ed? Do you open up to your SO? or keep hum?
Im currently back in the dating scene after a long term relationship. My ex didn't know about my ED but did make comments like "you are too skinny" etc... but never was he worried (which worries me, looking back at photos - how did he not ask me whats wrong?!)
Anyways, I am just curious about you guys and how you guys deal... thanks ;)
[Rant/Rave] This Has Been an Especially Bad Week
/u/chomchoms [5' 7.5" | 112 lbs | 17.1 | Male]
Created: Thu Mar 1 15:37:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/819go2/this_has_been_an_especially_bad_week/
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From November until this past Saturday I was marathon training, so I was able to eat a "normal" amount of food and still be at a deficit (although I had my fair share of nut binges). Last Saturday I finally ran the marathon and I was so happy! I love running! But I was also happy because that meant I had a huge deficit and I could eat a pretty "normal" amount without fear! Alas, I ruined it with a binge on cashews. So this week, I'm supposed to be taking a break from running to let my body heal, and I began to hate myself because that meant I had to *heavily* restrict since I didn't have that deficit from the marathon as a safety net.
Well, I was doing pretty well until last night. Sunday, I was under supervision from my parents, so I had to actually eat breakfast and lunch, and I chose really low calorie stuff, you know, eggs and English muffins and what-not. But during the week, since I have school, I am able to skip breakfast and lunch (read: secretly stuff breakfast into my backpack, pack a lunch, and throw everything away at school) without my parents knowing. So I did.
I also started walking inordinate amounts around the campus of my school, so I probably look weird, but who cares? I'm well-respected and earn top marks, so no big deal. After school, I walked some more, since I have "nothing to do." Secretly, I ran, not walked, even though I'm supposed to be taking a break, my big toenail fell off and is probably infected, and it seems that some kind of painful lump is developing on my Achilles tendon.
Well, all I have been able to think about this entire week is food, calories, and exercise. I simply cannot concentrate on much more, and I've been surviving on coffee and sugar-free gum (which I chew when I start feeling light-headed). It's miserable, but I am terrified to gain any weight, because I'm not strength training so it would all just collect as fat.
And then last night, all my success with restriction went down the drain. My mom bought a giant jar of mixed nuts, my true Achilles heel. I'd eaten one and a half bowls of my mom's chili for dinner, and my snack was a three-egg omelette (with lots of veggies), a small homemade fruit smoothie, and a small apple. I figured I could squeeze in a few nuts... well... I launched on a binge. Half the jar. 15 servings.
I couldn't purge right away because my parents would catch me. Nonetheless, I waited for them to go to bed and then I purged some of it in my room into an empty granola bar box. Bad idea. The box became soiled, and eventually the bottom broke out and vomit started seeping onto the (just-vacuumed) carpet. So I had to rush it to the bathroom, clean it up, wrap it in toilet paper, and stuff it in my backpack to throw away with my breakfast. Then I went to bed, nearly an hour and a half later than I usually do.
I felt horrible today. Exhausted, bloated, and hating myself. I hit a new record on walking around the campus, and I forced myself to run after school despite it being just warm enough to rain (it's like 33 Fahrenheit), windy, and pouring rain. It was not enjoyable in the slightest, and I normally love running. All today I could hardly concentrate on anything, because all I could think about was trying to burn off the excess calories I had last night, and trying not to think about eating.
I may not be all that sick yet, but this is truly a miserable disorder. But yet I don't want help, not just because I am scared to gain weight, but also because I almost feel like I want to be sick. Academically, I am an incredible success, so I feel like all my peers and teachers see me as lucky and perfect, like, "Oh, he's so smart and lucky! It's not fair!" and this disorder gives me reason to say, "See? I'm not all perfect, and I actually struggle *more* than you!" At the same time, I don't want anyone to know! I don't know what to do except vent, and I can't to my parents because they don't seem to see it as a mental illness. They just get mad; it seems they're of the mindset that I can simply just eat more and I chose not to, like I chose to have this condition. I don't feel safe at home in the slightest when it comes to eating.
I'm sorry for this long post. I just needed to vent and express my thoughts into tangible words so it's not just cluttering my brain. If you read this, thank you for listening. If not, still thank you for not judging.
Edit: I forgot to mention too that my memory this week has been... bad. I couldn't even remember what I did this morning when I got in my mom's car to go home from school. :(
[Other] I beat you, Cheetos!
/u/lilialley
Created: Thu Mar 1 15:32:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/819f78/i_beat_you_cheetos/
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I have a friend who is absolutely obsessed with feeding me, which is strange, considering that I have an overweight BMI. Anyway, I'm on high restriction right now, and she comes by and gives me a little cup with Cheetos.
"Have a snack!" she says while I grit my teeth.
The cup stares me in the face for the next hour. I like Cheetos, but I planned a healthy dinner after my fast. But it would be rude to reject them...
So I acquiesced, and I ate them.
But oh, no, I was not defeated by the Cheetos! The Cheetos were the only food that I ate that day! The Cheetos may have stolen my hands and lips, but they did not steal my heart! I remained well below my calorie goal for the day, with no binge in sight!
(Please, God, though, no more Cheetos, friend, you are killing me.)
[Discussion] DAE feel like they're doing great, and then one small thing doesnt go as planned...
/u/leontevskaya
Created: Thu Mar 1 15:25:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/819d2d/dae_feel_like_theyre_doing_great_and_then_one/
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And suddenly the ED demon comes back full force?
I've been heckin stressed at work recently but I'm pretty good at dealing with occupational stress... until this week. It was a tough week but my favorite yoga class with my favorite instructor was keeping me going. Yesterday, i kept telling myself that at least today i will be able to leave work at 5 for this class. This morning I was so excited that for once this week, i only had an 8 hr day, and then the reward was this class. So happy up until the moment I go to change into workout clothes and find out my sports bra is missing. It must have fallen out of my bag this morning which means I may have left it at a meeting with a bunch of big wigs I am working for. Fuck me. All i want to do is ugly cry and try to purge the 3 coffees and half a salad I ate today.
[Discussion] DAE love getting dental work done?
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 155 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 14:36:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/818zfo/dae_love_getting_dental_work_done/
---
So easy to fast. I tell them I'm dental-phobic and ask them to numb me as much possible...10 hours out of the chair and the idea of eating anything is still repulsive.
I have great dental coverage right now and I know I might not later, so I'm using this as an excuse to get every little "watch" area filled ...am I crazy or does anyone else feel the same way?
[Help] Should I eat?
/u/Mister_Wan
Created: Thu Mar 1 14:14:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/818tjf/should_i_eat/
---
I'm just coming off an almost week long binge cycle and have gotten back to restricting in order to undo all this damage. I'm supposed to be "recovering" though, and to be honest the weight gain from binging doesn't feel like the absolute end of the world. I said I would fast today but I'm hungry and really want to eat... I just can't tell if I would be ruining progress or taking a step towards being healthier if I were to eat right now. Should I eat something??? Just thinking about whether I should or shouldn't is killing me.
[Discussion] DAE hate their birthday?
/u/hollyhock_MMGRZHFM
Created: Thu Mar 1 14:11:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/818sfe/dae_hate_their_birthday/
---
Mine is next week. I didnāt use to hate it. I just donāt want to get any older. I feel like Iāve wasted years 20 and 21. I had a serious accident a couple days after my 20th, and now my birthday is always tainted by the anniversary of the worst pain Iāve ever felt.
I also feel like I use my birthday as a litmus test to see who actually cares about me. I remember everyoneās birthday. If I love someone, they get a text as soon as I wake up and a homemade cake. Idk. I guess my parents care, but I donāt want them to spend any more money on me. I only have one friend, and sheās so busy. I know itās stupid, but I feel like if she remembers my birthday on her own, then she cares. If she doesnāt remember it, then I know I actually have zero friends.
I donāt want to deal with people asking why Iām not baking a cool cake like I usually do. If I bake a cake, Iāll have a whole cake in the fridge. If I have a whole cake in the fridge, Iām gonna eat the whole cake. Fuck this.
[Discussion] DAE struggle to order their food out loud?
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Thu Mar 1 14:07:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/818rcg/dae_struggle_to_order_their_food_out_loud/
---
I normally never eat while in school. I fast all day until I get home around 10 PM. However, today when I get out, I'm boarding a train for a while and won't eat for a really long time unless I eat now while in school. I'm gonna go to subway down the street but I always feel awkward ordering food there. Especially since it's crowded all the time and everyone can hear your order. I always feel like a fatty as I ask for more toppings on my sub. I feel like the person behind me is judging and wanting me to hurry up. It's almost a forced way to make me not overdo it.
[Help] Help!!! I want to binge sooo bad right now and am hysterical
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Thu Mar 1 13:43:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/818kdu/help_i_want_to_binge_sooo_bad_right_now_and_am/
---
I allowed myself one donut at Dunkinā to kind of off put it but Iām just thinking of every single food. I have to go to the grocery store for me and my boyfriend on my way home.
Iām freaking out to the point of tears. I do not want to binge but this compulsive is so high. Iām hungry, exhausted, anxious, and depressed physically and emotionally
[Rant/Rave] b/pāing + being a bad person
/u/xjzqq
Created: Thu Mar 1 13:42:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/818k7d/bping_being_a_bad_person/
---
can anyone relate to this lol
thereās this like. mutual relationship between binging and purging and me being a bad person where on one hand
bad parts of my personality (being self-indulgent, self-pitying, lazy, rude, self-centered) contribute to me b/pāing (whenever i have the urge and opportunity i will, but normally my urges arenāt strong enough where i feel/am out of control if that makes sense? like only occasionally do i b/p out of an Intense Compulsion normally iām just like i want to eat thousands of calories and not gain weight from indulging)
and on the other hand, at least a little, my disordered behaviors/thoughts sort. at least are an obstacle in being a better person and improving myself?
and together itās just like this vicious cycle of me hating myself (not irrationally but based on me being a bad person internally and also bad to others) and then saying Fuck It every time i have the slight desire to eat a lot of food and just give in because why not and then it just cycles back.
idk if this makes any sense but it almost feels like b/pāing (for me) is just like. a manifestation of my shitty personality and desire to put in no effort, be self-indulgent, and not face consequences (gaining weight), like iām just taking the easy way in life
(**just to make sure no one misunderstands this isnāt about b/pāing or bulimia in general itās about my specific experiences w/ b/pāing?? if that makes sense)
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel a major upswing in mood around this time of year?
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | CW 113.6 | GW 100 | 26F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 13:21:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/818doq/dae_feel_a_major_upswing_in_mood_around_this_time/
---
december, january, and february are depressive blob months but when march rolls around i feel this surge of manic energy that i don't even know what to do with. i feel like dr. jekyll and mr. hyde.
pretty much every day of january and the better part of february i slept 15+ hours, dreaded going to work, basically cruised around life on my maladaptive coping mechanisms. but starting maybe last week, i've been waking up naturally around 8am with a shit ton of energy, feeling super positive and creative, hitting the gym and going for runs with gusto, it's kind of comical.
how can i be these two people in one? during january i was so extremely depressed and now, who am i?
and now that i'm feeling "up" i don't feel so inclined to restrict. these days i'm doing OMAD, but not a super restrictive one tbh. i still fear gaining weight but i just can't be bothered to restrict like i did before at the moment.
anyone else go through something like this? i feel like a total weirdo rn
[Rant/Rave] F**k me. I am the highest weight Iāve ever been and have gained 20 lbs. since May 2017
/u/theglossiernerd
Created: Thu Mar 1 13:12:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/818b3o/fk_me_i_am_the_highest_weight_ive_ever_been_and/
---
Guys. I was just at the doctor. I gained 20 lbs since May 2017. I am 168 right now at 5ā5. And to think I thought I was fat back then.
I went through a lot. I ended grad school, I moved from Denver to NY, ended an engagement with a guy I was living with for 3 years. And now Iām starting a new job and moving to another city... in a week. Iām so stressed. I donāt drink (maybe 1-2x a month) and I donāt do any drugs. So my only outlet has been eating. I started dieting and exercising in September and got down to 151 but then Thanksgiving and Christmas came and I ate everything.
My best friend came to see me this week and told me I am fat. That my thighs are bigger than theyāve ever been and that I shouldnāt wear jeans and that I need to stop binging.
Fuck me and fuck everything.
The only good thing is that Iām about to live alone and thereās a gym in my new building. Only buying safe foods.
[Help] Beta blockers on an empty stomach
/u/uforgan
Created: Thu Mar 1 13:05:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/818960/beta_blockers_on_an_empty_stomach/
---
I've been doing an okay job of recovering lately, but for the past two days I've had such bad cramps I can't eat. I'm no stranger to a fast, but I'm on beta blockers and I'm worried if I take them while already feeling light headed I may pass out? Am I over thinking, or should I lay off them until my cramps end in a few days/a week?
Thanks for any answers.
[Rant/Rave] scales are the devil and I feel awful
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Mar 1 13:05:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8188wm/scales_are_the_devil_and_i_feel_awful/
---
on mobile flair as rant or rave.
I haven't weighed in a week or so because I binged a couple days. last night I got home kind of drunk and thought I'd see how much I had gained...big mistake...
I gained 10 pounds in two weeks. that can't be right can it? I feel like I haven't had a bm I'm a while and it has to be food weight right? I'm just really upset
w.
[Discussion] Spring break plans?
/u/glossboy
Created: Thu Mar 1 13:00:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8187cv/spring_break_plans/
---
I'm literally excited to enter spring break just so that I can restrict and lay in bed all day without having to use any brain power therefore easing my restriction. š
How about you guys...
[Rant/Rave] Frustration of the day (:
/u/dalliantdoll [5'1 | CW 92.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 12:18:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/817vlt/frustration_of_the_day/
---
My HAIR has certainly been getting thinner the past few months, so *why havenāt I???*
(((:
[Other] so i met a 95-lb dog today
/u/conspicere [š 5'3.5" | CW: 110 | GW: šÆ | š]
Created: Thu Mar 1 11:48:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/817n1p/so_i_met_a_95lb_dog_today/
---
and my first thought was "damn, I hope I weigh less than this dog one day" š thanks ED brain
[Discussion] I relate to this so much. Anyone elseās ED stems from constantly comparing yourself to others?
/u/pepperygyal [5'1 | CW:121 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 11:16:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/817d5z/i_relate_to_this_so_much_anyone_elses_ed_stems/
---
https://i.redd.it/rg58i2ya17j01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My doc is sending me to a nutritionist and ED therapist, so clearly I'm spiraling
/u/Size666 [5'8F | CW: Walrus | -42lbs | UGW: 113]
Created: Thu Mar 1 11:15:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/817cxc/my_doc_is_sending_me_to_a_nutritionist_and_ed/
---
Thoughts in no particular order:
* I can't believe I've gotten so bad at this that I need medical intervention. Has it gotten so bad that I need medical intervention or my doc is bugging out?
* I can probably teach a class on nutrition at this point. Fuck this nutritionist shit. Doing and knowing are two different skillsets - I don't need a nutritionist I need someone to follow me around and smack shitty food out of my hands.
* I don't fucking need help. I've done everything on my own since I was old enough to have a job. I've been fine - better than fine, I'm doing great, all things considered. This is insane. I don't need help.
* I'm so pathetic. What is wrong with me.
* Is the therapist going to make me stop fasting? Is fasting considered disordered? Are they going to ask for meal logs?
* I can do this, I just need to stop eating so fucking much... Can I get away with doing this my way and just fake like I'm listening to them?
* I can't believe this. Why am I such a failure? I'm too old to need help with something as basic as fucking *food*.
* I don't want them to try to encourage me to eat "intuitively." I don't want someone watching me. I don't want this. I'm not ready to give up on myself.
I've been fasting since my doc sent me the referrals. I haven't reached out to the therapist yet because I'm at a loss. No one can force me to do anything, I know. But I feel so pathetic right now. Part of me knows that logically if my black&white thinking was working for me, I wouldn't be in this position right now. But the other part of me wants to give it one more solid shot before I give up - and going to therapy feels as defeating as giving up on my goals entirely.
I didn't know who else to vent this to who could relate to feeling defeated by something like this. I feel like going to therapy is admitting that my food issue is bigger than I can handle and out of control, and I can't stomach that being my actual reality. I'm paralyzed right now. I don't know what to do.
[Discussion] Been MIA but Iām not ready to recover
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 103 | 16.6 | GW: 98| 35/F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 11:03:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81796h/been_mia_but_im_not_ready_to_recover/
---
Itās been 28 days since my doc cut me off my meds. Iām a fucking mess. My flair is a lie. Iām closer to 107 again and it makes me want to vomit. I feel like Iām constantly hungry, When I do eat, itās like I donāt know when to quit. Iāve been purging twice a day lately. I canāt focus on work.. I just want to be at home in my safe place. I donāt want my co workers seeing me getting fatter and fatter .... Iām crying for no reason. I tried calling my doctor to see if she could do anything but she refuses to budge and wonāt prescribe my Prozac or adderall. I just feel like Iām all over the place. I feel like a fat fucking failure. FFS Iām 35 and afraid to face people. Iām trying to get an appt with a new doctor but Iām afraid theyāll do the same thing as my current doc
[Rant/Rave] I don't get it..
/u/NaejNire [5'9 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 10:39:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8172ri/i_dont_get_it/
---
I have lost weight. This is fact. The scale says it, the measurements say it, people say it, my clothes say it.
Every thing proves that yes, I HAVE dropped weight.
But mentally, I have never felt fatter. I look at myself and see someone who gained 20+ lbs, not lost it. I don't understand. It's so mentally draining to spend all this god damn time, effort, and sanity into getting smaller to only see and feel a bigger body..
Please tell me you guys relate, I can't stand it.
[Other] Attempting a 7 day "fast"
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | went to treatment | send help | 24F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 10:38:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8172ge/attempting_a_7_day_fast/
---
I've been MIA from the sub for a few days because my ex came into town. We're kind of trying to work things out. It's complicated. Anyways, she came into town Sunday night and until last night, I had been eating SO much. Probably 2000+ calories a day. She has a bingeing problem and when I'm around her, I eat way more than I should.
Before she visited I also had this realization that I don't care about myself anymore and I'm done figuring out how many calories I want to eat every day and *what* I want to eat. I don't care about getting 500 calories a day anymore nor do I care about macros. I just want to eat enough not to die when I ride my horses. So if it's just half a protein bar on days that I ride, so be it. 100 calories a day is fine.
I dropped my Biology course for the semester to be able to focus on restricting more (fucked up, I know). Anyways, since dropping that course I realized I can fast for at least 3 days a week since my other classes don't require as much brain power. But before I regularly fast 3 days a week I'm going to try a 7 day fast.
It's not a fast in the purest form. Besides water and zero calorie beverages I'm allowed coffee with a splash of creamer and gummy multivitamins and melatonin. My biggest concern with this fast is fainting. A few years ago I fasted for 4 or 5 days and fainted. It was terrifying. I had friends at my apartment when it happened and it was SO embarrassing. I'm hoping the fact I'm allowing myself coffee creamer and gummy vitamins kinda helps my blood sugar stay high enough not to faint? Or is that stupid?
Anyways, I love you all and hope your March is starting off well!
[Other] A too relatable song, by the late great poet Shel Silverstein
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 123lbs | 19.2 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 10:25:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/816yod/a_too_relatable_song_by_the_late_great_poet_shel/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roerrFgZpMk
[Rant/Rave] Two years ago, I went to an ED specialist to discuss thoughts about my ED coming back. They diagnosed me with binge eating disorder.
/u/AnimalCount
Created: Thu Mar 1 09:57:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/816qea/two_years_ago_i_went_to_an_ed_specialist_to/
---
And I have never binge ate in my entire life. In fact, I have only ever been restrictive subtype, and only just recently forayed into c/s, but it's still mostly restriction. If I'm not restricting, I'm eating 1600 calories a day, give or take. I have never binged.
But when I went to the doctor 2 years ago, I had a BMI of 21. Apparently they thought that I was way too fat to have ED thoughts, so it had to be a binge eating disorder. Once I found this out, my restriction went into full gear, because I felt like I needed to justify my diagnosis as *not* BED because the only way I could get the help I actually needed was to be sickeningly thin. I now have a BMI just over underweight and they're finally considering it EDNOS/OSFED at least, but my lowest weight was around bmi 16, so why??? did they diagnose me with BED. I never, ever even mentioned binging. I mean no offense to those with the disorder, but what I gathered from this was that they looked at my fat body and immediately assumed that I binged because there was *no way* I restricted.
This insta is giving me life. Relatable.
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 09:57:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/816qbg/this_insta_is_giving_me_life_relatable/
---
https://www.instagram.com/shitmodelmgmt/
[Discussion] March 1st, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 09:50:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/816og3/march_1st_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
What could have been better about today?
Welp I wouldnāt have had to go to an emergency psychiatrist appointment because of the severe tremor I developed with new meds, and she wouldnāt have had to send me to get genetic testing to figure out why I get so many side effects with every drug she tries yayayayayay
[Rant/Rave] My Brother Just Told Me This:
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Thu Mar 1 08:18:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/815yt4/my_brother_just_told_me_this/
---
"I don't care about you, you're a baby and you're acting just like mom. Fuck you. You are fucked up in the head. I don't care if you're killing yourself. I don't care what you do."
He's my younger brother. He just completely broke me down and so I'm done. Fuck it. I'm not eating today.
I'm 24 and my family recently discovered I have an ED. They keep switching between being overly sensitive and concerned to lashing out and saying incredibly hurtful things to me that can't be taken back. I have a very dysfunctional family and I was physically and emotionally abused as a child. I don't want to recover. My family is pushing me away and I don't blame them, but I don't want them in my life anymore.
[Other] going to the gym is hard
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 07:38:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/815oj8/going_to_the_gym_is_hard/
---
https://i.redd.it/yhoxhr3fy5j01.png
[Help] How many have gone to the Psychiatric hospital?
/u/inxthewolf1
Created: Thu Mar 1 07:29:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/815mb0/how_many_have_gone_to_the_psychiatric_hospital/
---
I might be going into the Psychiatric hospital for other reasons, but I donāt know if I go there and continue to do my routine, that they pick up and make me get treatment ( I not ready for that yet) and I want to know if anyone else has been in this situation before?
[Discussion] Does tea (like huge amounts of tea) makes you fat ?
/u/IHateBloodElves [5'3" | 136 | 25 | -38 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 07:21:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/815kf6/does_tea_like_huge_amounts_of_tea_makes_you_fat/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Dust
/u/Sozenrightnow [5'3 | CW: 97.0 | HW: 130 | LW: 89 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 06:57:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/815ek7/dust/
---
Each day an important ritual must be made
I must clean the dust
I must wipe it away
Make it invisible
So others cannot see what I mess I've made
Each day I must be vigilant
I must be conscious of the dust
Watch when it builds up
So I can keep it at bay
And not let it choke me
Each day the dust keeps falling
Trickling like snow
It can be hard to see at times
Then all at once it is there
I am dirty again
It's getting to me now
The dust won't stop coming
It won't stop being
Even when I wipe it away
I know it is still in the air around me
Waiting to rest
And remind me
I am dirty
I will never be clean
I will never be free
[Discussion] Reasons to recover
/u/eighttorches
Created: Thu Mar 1 06:33:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8159c0/reasons_to_recover/
---
If you're in recovery, want to recover, or already did what were/are your reasons for doing so? How long does it take?
[Rant/Rave] Iām so tired of failing and starting again..
/u/MaybeUmaThurman
Created: Thu Mar 1 06:29:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8158f1/im_so_tired_of_failing_and_starting_again/
---
[removed]
[Other] For those of you with Prime, there's a kindle first book this month that deals with an eating disorder
/u/Haltandlightbonfire [5'7 | CW 159 | WL -18 | 27F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 06:22:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81571n/for_those_of_you_with_prime_theres_a_kindle_first/
---
I look forward to my free kindle book each month and was surprised to see a memoir about a woman with an eating disorder. I haven't read it yet so I can't give a review but here's the link!
[Feast by Hannah Howard](http://www.amazon.com/gp/f.html?C=KU158J6R3LF5&K=2CAOTAG6B6M7U&M=urn:rtn:msg:20180301100122a360949287de4c6395d4d6b662f0p0na&R=3C99X9KWAY0TM&T=C&U=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F%3FASIN%3DB073FC1C5T%26ref_%3Dpe_625330_273428450&H=PTHOAA3JKPYNZFVLKMIHEUANGCAA&ref_=pe_625330_273428450)
[Help] I weighed myself today after months of not knowing
/u/fallowoath
Created: Thu Mar 1 05:34:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/814xj4/i_weighed_myself_today_after_months_of_not_knowing/
---
And I'm so much heavier than I thought I was. like a full 8 pounds and it kinda makes me wanna die. I hadn't even realized bc I didn't think I looked fat but like the numbers don't lie!!! Im fitting into size 4 jeans so thats why im so shocked about how much i actually weigh. I'm trying not to have a full blown panic attack but this is really upsetting
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! March 01, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 1 05:12:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/814t5c/daily_food_diary_march_01_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 01, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support March 01, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 1 05:11:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/814szz/weekly_emotional_support_march_01_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] That one day in every 10 years, where I can wear snow trousers and be warm enough and everyone else looks stupid for not wearing them, instead of me for wearing them.
/u/scrawny-cat [5' 6"|CW 119.2lb|BMI 19.32|GW 112lb|F32]
Created: Thu Mar 1 05:04:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/814rqp/that_one_day_in_every_10_years_where_i_can_wear/
---
https://i.redd.it/prvsfqcr65j01.jpg
[Help] I wish
/u/Little-Rocket
Created: Thu Mar 1 05:02:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/814r9w/i_wish/
---
I wish I had a flat stomach.
I wish my arms were toned.
I wish my boobs were smaller.
I wish my hips didnāt stick out.
I wish you couldnāt see the cellulite on my butt.
I wish the scars on my thighs would fade.
[Other] Well, ain't this us.
/u/letthetemptingbegin [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 22.99 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Thu Mar 1 04:09:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/814imt/well_aint_this_us/
---
https://i.imgur.com/KJxeIwV.png
[Intro] [Intro] Hello, again.
/u/letthetemptingbegin [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 22.99 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Thu Mar 1 03:33:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/814cl1/intro_hello_again/
---
Hi again. I was /u/Deviatiion but I got too ashamed of my shit on here last night and deleted. This time I'm sticking to this sub and not being dragged into the drugs/drink ones.
I have to get a colonoscopy Friday, so the prep fasting begins today. Luckily I'm good at that already!
/u/Zoombinis [24 F | 5'8" (172 cm) | CW: 122 lbs (55.33 kg) | GW: Flat belly]
Created: Thu Mar 1 03:25:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/814b9m/i_have_to_get_a_colonoscopy_friday_so_the_prep/
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Everyone has been giving me advice about the prep and how to handle it, but they don't know about my ED and how easy that part is for me!! I'm being reassured over and over again, it's the prep that's the worst part of it
That being said, I'm absolutely terrified of the procedure itself. I'm scared of needles/IV (I faint from things as mild as a cat scratching me!!), I've fainted once just thinking about the IV already. I'm scared of being loopy on drugs, scared of the shit I might say and embarrassing myself. I know in my head that "oh, no one will judge you, they know you'll be on drugs" but I can't get past it. The thought terrifies me to the point of nausea....
I'm only 24. I'm having to get one done because I'm showing signs of colon cancer. EXTREMELY rare for my age but the signs are there, and both my dad and grandfather had it, so it's possible, and therefore we have to rule it out. Even the possibility of having an abnormally aggressive colon cancer and having to poop out of a colostomy bag for the rest of my life doesn't scare me as much as just going under the IV and being on heavy sedatives!
What is wrong with me? :( Thanks for listening... I figured this community understands the whole "I know in my head what is logical but my brain is rejecting the logic and doing its own self-harm thing anyway" thing and maybe you all can offer some support. I haven't slept in two days and haven't been eating and I'm tired of panic attacks, nausea, and no sleep etc before the prep has even officially started... literally the only thing keeping me positive is, "hey! at least I'm reaching my underweight goal!!"
[Rant/Rave] so frustrating
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Thu Mar 1 03:04:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8147nj/so_frustrating/
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[removed]
[Other] Found this article in an old magazine while shopping at a thrift store
/u/miacolette [5' | CW: 149 | SW: 177 | GW: 89 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 1 00:51:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/813mnu/found_this_article_in_an_old_magazine_while/
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https://i.imgur.com/euKi8a0.jpg
[Help] Are calories still absorbed even after purging?
/u/fernsandfoxes [5ā6ā | CW:123 | BMI:19.93 | GW:110 | 18F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 23:24:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8138lj/are_calories_still_absorbed_even_after_purging/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Sugar triggering binge?
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 23:15:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81370n/sugar_triggering_binge/
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Ok guys so idk if I'm just making excuses for myself for binging but curious on thoughts:
The past few days I've been restricting a bit and I'm poor af so I just can't afford to eat, been eating rice, cucumber, oatmeal with PB (just stuff I have already, no money to grocery shop tho)
Today tho my friend bought me Starbucks and I got a vanilla latte and half a cookie which of course has quite a lot more sugar than anything I've been eating lately. And tonight I binged on gross hamburger buns I had in my freezer and wasn't touching (they're kinda soggy and gross). I know if I had money to buy food I'd binge more too.
I know lots of people can restrict while still eating "junk food" (I don't mean offence just not sure what else to call chocolate, candy, etc etc) but does sugar/junk trigger binges in anyone? I'm curious if this is what triggered the binge in me. (Don't think binge was triggered by intake cause I have been eating around 1000-1200)
It sucks because I'm too fat to die
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | CW 120lbs (treatment rip) | GW 95lbs]
Created: Wed Feb 28 22:58:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8133q5/it_sucks_because_im_too_fat_to_die/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fucking McDonald's
/u/PmMeUrKhajiit
Created: Wed Feb 28 22:52:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8132ly/fucking_mcdonalds/
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On mobile so tag rant please.
So i wake up, and already ive got 83 calories from my midnight glass of milk on my mfp. The first thing I hear is "what you want to eat?" My bloody boyfriend sent his friend on a maccas run. So of course stupid me hears McDonald's and can't say no. I only got a hamburger (250 cals) but it was so delicious I didn't split it into 2 meals like I was going to, because I was already sitting down and it was right in front of me. Thankfully I asked for a diet coke so that helped fill me up, but I feel really mad at myself for it. I hate that mfp won't count calories from Squats, wall sits etc, at least seeing the calories I burned would make me feel better about it. That was 7 hours ago and I was so grumpy I haven't had anything since. Practically all there is in the fridge is leftover Pasta, and I feel a binge coming on. Fuuuuuuuuuu
[Rant/Rave] Hurt so good shakes after nasty nasty purge
/u/uglydelicious
Created: Wed Feb 28 22:03:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/812t6t/hurt_so_good_shakes_after_nasty_nasty_purge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Triggered.... people are jerks.
/u/HangryHangryHedgehog
Created: Wed Feb 28 21:41:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/812oqd/triggered_people_are_jerks/
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SO, I got called into HR at my job.
Someone accused me of stealing food.
ME.... I just finally stopped being underweight. I have a very strict diet. I don't even want to eat my own food.
I was told if they find hard evidence that I'm fired. Good luck.
Also I know who would say these things. They don't like me for some personal reason. I've never done anything to them, but I'm the quiet type that doesn't bow at their feet at how "cool" they are. I don't stroke egos. It makes me unpopular to be a realist. Sigh... my fake smile is pretty believable MOST of the time.
=(
Now I can't get myself to eat much...
Triggered....
Guess I'll slink back down to underweight.
FUCK.
Rant.
[Discussion] anyone else fail to grow out of their ED?
/u/kolimop
Created: Wed Feb 28 21:40:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/812ooo/anyone_else_fail_to_grow_out_of_their_ed/
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I often see articles about ED will state something like "EDs commonly occur in young women between the ages of 13 -23 but people tend to outgrow it by their late twenties"
my ED is going 7 years strong now and even when I 'recover' for lengths of time I still have ED thoughts ready to cause a relapse whenever I'm going through a lot of stress
so I'm thinking I'll just have my ED on and off until I die (-:
Long time lurker - need support
/u/momonomino
Created: Wed Feb 28 21:29:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/812mhl/long_time_lurker_need_support/
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Hey guys. I've been watching this sub now for over a year. My history with ED is long and complicated - basically I used to be an overeater, lost over 100 lbs through restriction and purging, then I had a baby. Since then, I thought I was totally recovered, but now I hate myself again.
Two nights ago I cut myself for the first time in years. I haven't eaten in over 24 hours. I'm falling apart. I know I am lucky... I have a beautiful daughter, a husband who loves me, a decent job, an adoring family... but I just can't shake these thoughts and feelings that everyone would love me more if I was smaller. I went from being a size 4 to a 14. I love my curves, but I can't help but feel I'd be better if I was a 4 again. How my husband would be happier if I looked like I did when he met me.
I'm sorry to suddenly interject in the group out of nowhere... I just know that this is the most supportive group I have ever seen and I don't know where else to vent.
[Rant/Rave] Fuck dining halls and consecutive binge days.
/u/glossboy
Created: Wed Feb 28 20:56:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/812fdz/fuck_dining_halls_and_consecutive_binge_days/
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I really just fucked myself over this past weekend when I gave into letting myself eat with friends after a 5 day fast and restriction combination.
I was doing so well and my friend even mentioned that I had been looking great lately.
I thought I was doing okay and though they weren't safe foods I was eating proportioned amounts.
It's almost as if the last 4 days have been a blur and I don't know *what* convinced me that I could just binge this entire week.
I felt like shit the other day going to the dining hall after avoiding it for like 3 months only to binge like 3k calories in one sitting. I then went home and ate two cup noodles and a mac and cheese. I feel disgusting and horrified.
I've gained like 6 pounds and it makes me want to cry.
On top of all of this I've been missing classes because my depression's been on high this past month.
I just want to be in control again.
Even if I'm not healthy, the calorie control helps me control my depressive messy life by forcing me to clean and do work.
Enough of this bullcrap. **This ends today.**
Do I have an ED?
/u/Twonicklesonedime
Created: Wed Feb 28 20:33:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/812a8c/do_i_have_an_ed/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] [rant] Is it just me or is pro-recovery the same as pro-obese in most internet forums
/u/throwawa88y
Created: Wed Feb 28 20:20:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81278b/rant_is_it_just_me_or_is_prorecovery_the_same_as/
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[removed]
[Other] Reason I love my Fiance
/u/Frinada [5'4 | 154 | 26.4 | 0lbs | Girl]
Created: Wed Feb 28 19:43:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/811z6z/reason_i_love_my_fiance/
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[removed]
[Other] haven't really eaten anything since sunday and im feeling great
/u/psybeams [5'3 | CW 125 | GW 105| 17F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 19:27:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/811vrb/havent_really_eaten_anything_since_sunday_and_im/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Lent
/u/laughingllamahehe
Created: Wed Feb 28 18:34:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/811jl5/lent/
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I gave up processed food for lent. Which means I can only eat vegetables, fruit and nuts for 40 days (since I'm vegetarian). I can do this without judgement & with a lot of support, since everyone around me has given up something for lent too. I've lost 8 pounds so far. I am extremely happy and just had to share with someone, but no one in life knows about my ed. That is all.
[Help] do you think one antacid (5 cals) would break a fast?
/u/fig-illann
Created: Wed Feb 28 18:27:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/811hx9/do_you_think_one_antacid_5_cals_would_break_a_fast/
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iām on the final day of my four day fast, yet i was feeling absolutely sick to my stomach with a horrible wave of nausea, so i took one antacid to try and calm it.
i checked the calories and its only 5cal, which i rationed is probably only 1-2cals more than the diet soda i already had.
aaaanaaaaand crud.
ok new question :
would consuming 8cals break a fast???
[Tip] YSK about /r/EDfood, a subreddit I just discovered today.
/u/GailaMonster
Created: Wed Feb 28 18:23:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/811gz0/ysk_about_redfood_a_subreddit_i_just_discovered/
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Maybe i'm late to the party and the last to know, but i was making due with /r/1200isplenty, /r/1200isplentyketo, etc.
/r/EDfood isn't huge, but it's a nice place to share recipes that might get a raised eyebrow in other subs.
Enjoy!
E: just saw they were a new subreddit - 1 month old only. maybe there was a post about it here and i really am late to the party haha. Mods, maybe consider adding it to the "For dieting" list of related subs?
[Rant/Rave] I just weighed myself for the first time in two months
/u/Franzkeck790
Created: Wed Feb 28 18:12:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/811ejp/i_just_weighed_myself_for_the_first_time_in_two/
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I went through a breakup about a month ago and I was at my lowest weight in a very long time. I got down to 230 lbs. My highest weight was 275. In a little over two months, I have gained 30 back due to emotional stress and now loneliness. So I guess I'm back to weighing 260. I had been plateaued here for months before getting my big break and losing. I hate being like this. I just want to stop eating entirely. It's gross and I don't see why I keep putting this shit into my body.
I just don't know what to do anymore
/u/siberg [5'4 | too damn much | lol | F| GW:90]
Created: Wed Feb 28 18:07:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/811dg2/i_just_dont_know_what_to_do_anymore/
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Sorry for the long post. I haven't posted or lurked in years because I thought I was better...my ED-like behaviors and urges (I wasn't diagnosed at the time) got smaller and smaller over time until I thought it wasn't an issue.
And then in October I just *had* to go see Joe Biden speak at my campus about sexual assault and the Me Too movement and all of the sudden all I could fucking think about was this shitty thing that happened when I was 14 (I'm 21 now). And I spun out for a while, started self harming again, and started therapy.
They diagnosed me with PTSD and depression and as fucking soon as the meds start working to calm the anxiety and boost my mood, the ED behaviors and urges come back with a vengeance and I'm officially diagnosed with an eating disorder.
I can't do ED treatment because I can't tell my family about the trauma and the ED is clearly related to the trauma. My therapist at school refuses to do trauma work with me (CPT) until I "get the food under control". I'm seeing a nutritionist and my food log for the past week is pathetic- fasting for at least 18 hours at a time and then eating under 500 calories during the week. During the weekend I binged like a fucking animal so I just wrote BINGE on my log for those days.
I'm one semester from graduating, except I took incomplete grades for all my classes last semester and have a full course load this semester so it's pretty fucking unlikely that I'll get my shit together in time to finish all of the classes.
I feel so out of control. I just gave my meds and razor blades to a friend because I just don't know what to do anymore or how to make any of this feel better.
Thanks for the encouragement MFP
/u/implantabstract [5'6"F | SW: 167lb | CW: 136lb | GW: 119lb | 21.30/21.23]
Created: Wed Feb 28 18:05:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/811d25/thanks_for_the_encouragement_mfp/
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https://imgur.com/DckIghy
[Help] what meds worked for you?
/u/WorstCunt [crunchy]
Created: Wed Feb 28 17:53:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8119zz/what_meds_worked_for_you/
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[removed]
[Help] Darrell Lea Licorice Help!!
/u/bluther979
Created: Wed Feb 28 17:37:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81165a/darrell_lea_licorice_help/
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Okay I'm freaking out.
I was on the verge of a binge and found myself at the local whole foods. While perusing the candy Isle, I stumbled upon Darrell Lea soft eating licorice and I almost died when I saw that it was only 46 kcal per serving! So I bought it and ate the entire bag (~230cals).
However I've been looking online and multiple sources list the same candy at 130 call per serving.
Does anyone know the real calorie count?? I'm seriously freaking out please help!
Body dysmorphia back at it's trickery
/u/Kinglens311
Created: Wed Feb 28 17:28:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/811413/body_dysmorphia_back_at_its_trickery/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8113fw/body_dysmorphia_back_at_its_trickery/?utm_source=ifttt
[Rant/Rave] Body dysmorphia back at it's trickery
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 28 17:26:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8113fw/body_dysmorphia_back_at_its_trickery/
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[deleted]
How to deal with late night binging?
/u/haroshinka [Height 5'3|CW 45.2kg |BMI 17.7|Weight Lost 13|Gender F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 17:14:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8110jj/how_to_deal_with_late_night_binging/
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I usually wake up at about 11am and donāt feel the urge to eat until about 4pm at which point Iāll fix myself a meal. However, 99% of my binges occur late at night past 10pm. I donāt know if itās a temporal psychological association or what, but itās so frustrating to me because I can recognise that itās a problem yet am so powerless to stop it. Itās midnight and Iām in bed craving avocados. Help
[Help] breaking away from associating a space with eating
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 28 17:13:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/811065/breaking_away_from_associating_a_space_with_eating/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Is it just me or...
/u/LynnieTheLemon
Created: Wed Feb 28 16:33:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/810qhy/is_it_just_me_or/
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Does anyone else feel like a pig when they get their period?
I dread getting my period. Because it reminds me that I'm still fat enough to carry a life. It reminds me that, while I desire children, I am fat enough to carry one (possibly to term). That along the journey of pregnancy I will get fat, that I will need to give up my ED for my child. That I will need to eat for two. That I will have to love and respect myself more than I ever had for my kid. And that thought frightens me. Because I'm not healthy enough to do that. Not now, not yet.
But...
I want to be a mom. I want to do things right. I want to be normal. I want to just worry about baby clothes, names, what my kid will like to do, what color to paint the nursery... Not the number of calories I have to consume, not about how fucking huge I'm gonna get.
Maybe this sounds stupid but does anyone else get this thought going through their head???
[Goal] I hit a milestone!
/u/Mortynight
Created: Wed Feb 28 16:24:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/810oac/i_hit_a_milestone/
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I'm finally at a number I've wanted to be at since November of last year. I fit into things I bought when I was 15. I'm so happy, guys. I could cry
[Discussion] I'm sure this has been linked before, but I think this happening to me. 41lbs in 60 days and I can't stop.
/u/Jiggly_Poop
Created: Wed Feb 28 16:09:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/810kip/im_sure_this_has_been_linked_before_but_i_think/
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XXFaaWmaltE
[Discussion] Accountability Partner?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 28 15:58:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/810hij/accountability_partner/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/810hij/accountability_partner/
[Other] How I feel when I'm on a binge..
/u/satanAMA [5'9 | too much | BMI 22 | 50lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 15:56:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/810gxl/how_i_feel_when_im_on_a_binge/
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https://i.redd.it/8vmrk8yea1j01.jpg
[Discussion] ED-radar - Do you ever notice someone's habits / food attitude and just "know"?
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 109 | GW2: 105 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Wed Feb 28 15:51:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/810fph/edradar_do_you_ever_notice_someones_habits_food/
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A couple of times now, I've had suspicions about people due to certain instances or signs that've turned out to be correct. I feel like it's almost a sort of ~hungry-recognises-hungry~ deal at this point.
Any instances where you've had that sort of sense? It's especially unsettling when you hear that someone's had that inkling about you though.
[Discussion] What do you guys eat on work days?
/u/finnkat
Created: Wed Feb 28 15:39:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/810c9n/what_do_you_guys_eat_on_work_days/
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I recently got a new job in the apparel section of a big box store so I'm going to be more consistently active than I have been. I had a banana this morning before I went because I was seriously lacking potassium and was nervous so I felt like I should at least have a little bit of brain food I guess? I don't normally eat breakfast though, honestly I usually sleep past lunch so I don't eat until dinner. Do you guys who work on your feet eat breakfast? Or just skip it and eat lunch? Or neither? And what do you eat? I was thinking of just buying a diet pepsi from the vending machine for lunch but I also want to be able to do my work well so I don't want to be seriously hungry. But I also hate eating calories during the day because I get hungry at night, but maybe that will change now that I'm going to be working early? I don't know, what are your suggestions?
[Help] coping on really bad dysmorphia days?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | "maintaining" | 22f]
Created: Wed Feb 28 15:16:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8105tl/coping_on_really_bad_dysmorphia_days/
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lately, every day has been incredibly dysmorphic for me. looking in the mirror repulses meāmy cheeks, chin, stomach, thighs, and upper arms are so fat and disgusting that it actually turns my stomach. my heart sinks every time i think about how quickly i've gained weight and how long it'll take to lose it (i have about 10 pounds to lose, which i'm worried will take *forever*).
anyone have suggestions for dealing with really bad dysmorphia? i genuinely can't tell what i look like/how fat i *actually* am, because even when i weighed 10 pounds less, i felt fat and disgusting. any advice/suggestions/whatever is soooo appreciated, because this is so hard to deal with and fuels such intense self-loathing which i have absolutely nobody to talk to about (don't want to worry/upset my partner, can't really talk to friends).
[Help] Highest weight ever, how do I cope?
/u/bomb_dot_calm [5'3" | CW:130lbs | 23.0 | HW: 139 LW: 119.8 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 15:15:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8105ie/highest_weight_ever_how_do_i_cope/
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Iām 5ā3 and now weight 145... I know I need to get my eating under control, but how do you guys deal with having to live in a body that feels out of control and disgusting...?
(Sorry on mobile so no flair)
[Discussion] do you think your goal weight is maintainable with a healthy diet / fitness routine
/u/lists_n_shits [5'4" | CW 115 | GW 105]
Created: Wed Feb 28 15:13:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/81056d/do_you_think_your_goal_weight_is_maintainable/
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Over the summer I was almost at my goal weight, Iām 5ā4ā & was 107. Since then Iāve gotten back up to 115. Some of it because of stress / health problems & over eating but also some probably because I was eating more normally. You know, actually eating breakfast & eating when Iām hungry. Lol, amazing concepts. I still eat very healthy most of the time.
Right now Ive been back and forth trying to lose again. Ive convinced myself that 105 is perfectly healthy, achievable, & maintainable with sufficient calories. But maybe thats my ed talking?
Like a goal weight of 90 for instance, I know is unhealthy. I have my limits. So somehow i think i convinced myself Iām not that bad!! But is trying to stay at 105 okay?? Even if i eat extremely healthy, is it possible to get enough nutrients? I had to eat so low to maintain 107 - looking backs it hard to believe i did it for so long.
[Help] While it always be like this?
/u/Little-Rocket
Created: Wed Feb 28 14:55:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80zzub/while_it_always_be_like_this/
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I hate this. I thought I was over this. Why does my brain constantly tell me I'm disgusting? I hate the way my body looks no mater what I'm wearing and no mater how hard I try or how much I lose it, I cant stop seeing myself as 'too fat'.
I really want to lose weight in a healthy way but I'm so scared I'll do what I did last time which was spend hours in the gym without eating, or take laxatives before each meal. I'm so scared I'll make myself sick again.
I feel like my body isn't good enough and that's why I'm single, thats why everyone leaves me, why I care about them more than they care about me. I feel like everyone who has the misfortune to look at it wants to be sick just from seeing me.
Every time someone touches me, be it my dad hugging me, my friends holding wiping away my tears, some boys hand softly touching my leg I have such an urge to apologies for my disgusting body infecting their clean hands.
I'm currently 19 year old, 5'4ish and around 12-13st. Its not okay, I need to be better. The lightest I've been sinceI was first getting bullied about my weight was 11st, the heaviest was 16st.
I am desperate to purge.
I'll soon be moving out of my family home as I'm going to uni and I feel that without the fear of my parent finding out I'm broken I will destroy myself. Part of me is sickly excited that I'll get to starve myself and no one will know.
[Discussion] Is anyone else addicted to things like r/gifrecipes?
/u/roseparades
Created: Wed Feb 28 14:52:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80zywg/is_anyone_else_addicted_to_things_like_rgifrecipes/
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I can't seem to stop watching food videos, especially during a fast (44hrs, shooting for 120).
[Rant/Rave] Itās my 27th birthday.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" |cw maintaining| 26F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 14:18:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80zp8p/its_my_27th_birthday/
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I went out and bought myself a bouquet of flowers and some balloons, and now Iām here, drinking a big mug of my favorite tea in my favorite dress.
Iām completely alone. Nobody cares about my birthday but me.
Iāve alienated every important person in my life to keep my eating disorder comfortable and keep myself from being hurtāand it feels bad, man.
[Rant/Rave] My grandma is coming to visit
/u/BlondeActually
Created: Wed Feb 28 14:03:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80zkt0/my_grandma_is_coming_to_visit/
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My grandma is coming to visit me, and I havenāt seen her since July last year. I was starting to really drop the pounds at that time and she kept commenting on how skinny I am, how little I ate etc.
Whenever my dad calls her she always asks if Iām still eating so little. Now sheās going to see me and Iāve lost even more weight. Iām so scared that sheās going to mention something to my parents. Even though I donāt live with them anymore, I donāt want them involved in my eating habits.
I donāt know what to say when she inevitably comments on my weight loss, or when itās brought up at a family gathering. I canāt really hide it with layers since itās so hot and I have no idea how else to draw attention away from me. Iām excited to see her but Iām so worried that something is going to happen.
[Other] Itās easier to see my thoughts on paper
/u/mooseca_ [5ā8ā | CW:102lbs | BMI:15.62 | GW: Bones | Female]
Created: Wed Feb 28 14:01:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80zk9q/its_easier_to_see_my_thoughts_on_paper/
---
https://i.redd.it/u16c8ewtp0j01.jpg
[Discussion] PB Fit
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:114lbs | GW: 112lbs | -25 lbs | F20]
Created: Wed Feb 28 13:36:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80zd0q/pb_fit/
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Is pb fit a safe food for you guys? idk why but i could eat it everytime i need a snack and not feel guilty and also not gain. thoughts?
[Help] š
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 28 13:30:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80zba2/_/
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https://i.redd.it/rdh07gmdk0j01.jpg
I turned over my mirror today
/u/silverkel
Created: Wed Feb 28 13:27:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80zaf7/i_turned_over_my_mirror_today/
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And its scary but I'm trying to be proud of it :) I gained weight over the last week because I went to a conference and stayed with friends, and ate out and ate normally the meals provided by the conference. I felt normal and healthy and was not obsessing over food and calories. Every time my hands instinctively grab my new tiny bit of belly fat I try to take them away as soon as I realize. I just keep telling myself "this is fine. This is fine." Because while I was away, hanging out with friends and being so inspired and learning tons, it was fine. I was fine. So I don't have to cruelly analyze every inch of my body. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's fine.
(I am also starting a one-month mono diet of oatmeal, soooo * laughs nervously * )
[Other] mood
/u/I-Slap-Cat-Butts [5ā9.25ā | -11.6 | lw 110 | gw 99 | 23f]
Created: Wed Feb 28 13:25:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80z9kb/mood/
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https://i.redd.it/lm8wjd8dj0j01.jpg
mood
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 28 13:23:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80z91k/mood/
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https://i.redd.it/98xt9yk1j0j01.jpg
[Help] How to stop binging?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 13:04:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80z3f8/how_to_stop_binging/
---
I keep binging, you know because I hate myself, and it makes me more prone to purging. How can I stop this cycle.
Any help?
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel...
/u/papsandwiles [5"4 | 115 | 19.7 | 20F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 12:59:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80z1zv/does_anyone_else_feel/
---
Does anyone else feel confused about not conforming to ED stereotypes?
Sometimes I feel like I should hate my body and if I don't I obviously don't have a problem. Or if I manage to eat a meal without guilt then I'm fine, or if I'm a "healthy" BMI then I'm faking it, or if I feel like I function better when I don't eat then there's no way it could actually be that bad.
[Rant/Rave] Looking at old pictures of myself...
/u/supemery
Created: Wed Feb 28 12:54:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80z0pr/looking_at_old_pictures_of_myself/
---
Being on a several month binge fest after leaving the psych hospital in April caused me to get all the way up to 216 pounds. Iāve lost all but a few pounds of that post-hospital weight (30 pounds). The thing is though I feel like I look SO MUCH FATTER than I did last year around the same time. Like same weight, but I just look so much thinner and honestly I look so much more put together. I feel like I hate the way my hair looks, my complexion sucks, and I constantly look bloated! Iām so over today, Iāve done absolutely nothing. I canāt stop obsessing over how fucking disgusting I am. Iāve eaten 186 calories today and I feel like I donāt even deserve that. My psych meds make me gain weight and I have to eat at least 400 calories with them. I feel like Iām just set up for failure. I would appreciate any support you could give. I need it today.
[Help] Dealing with bloating?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 12:36:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80yvfa/dealing_with_bloating/
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How do you guys deal with period related bloating? When I was at a higher weight it wasnāt as big of a deal because a couple pounds/half an inch in measurements wasnāt a significant loss, but now half an inch is weeks of progress for me and every time my period is coming up it seems like all the progress Iāve made that month is just erased. My bones are no longer as prominent, my measurements are higher, my weight goes up, my face looks rounder. It drives me absolutely crazy because it makes me feel like I havenāt made any actual progress. Does anyone have tips for dealing with this?
[Discussion] how often do you work out?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | "maintaining" | 22f]
Created: Wed Feb 28 12:23:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80yrmy/how_often_do_you_work_out/
---
i've been in a spiral of self-loathing after gaining "recovery" weight. so i'm back to the gym with a plan to lose 10 pounds as quickly as possible through restriction, fasting, and cardio. i feel guilty on days when i don't, because a) i'm paying for a gym membership and i should use it and b) gotta burn calories or i'll h8 myself even more!!!
how often do you guys work out? when you do, is it mostly cardio, or hiit & weights, or neither? anyone have favorite exercises that burn a lot of calories?
[Rant/Rave] Itās Girl Scout cookie season, and thatās okay
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 12:21:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80yr2y/its_girl_scout_cookie_season_and_thats_okay/
---
A little non-weight related victory!
Yesterday I bought a pack of Girl Scout cookies āfor my roommatesā and of course I ended up eating 8 of them myself (600 calories, for those of you who are curious). I thought I would be devastated by it when I woke up today but Iām not. Itās okay to have days where I mess up, and even though it seems like a lot, 8 Girl Scout cookies isnāt over my TDEE. I can always start again the next day. I still managed to lose a lot this month and next month will be good, too. I dunno. Not feeling like itās the end of the world after ābingeingā is a big step for me and Iām happy Iāve gotten there today.
What are your little victories lately?
[Rant/Rave] Bit of a wake up call on how much of a disgusting pig I am
/u/datnastaythrowaway [H 164 | CW 56kg | GW: 50kg]
Created: Wed Feb 28 12:13:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80yoz1/bit_of_a_wake_up_call_on_how_much_of_a_disgusting/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Breaking a fast
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Wed Feb 28 12:08:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80yncp/breaking_a_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Was feeling thin last night and now I've ruined my whole week.
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F 23]
Created: Wed Feb 28 12:06:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80ymwg/was_feeling_thin_last_night_and_now_ive_ruined_my/
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Me last night: one meal to treat myself won't ruin my progress, I couldn't possibly gain!
Me today: oh my god. What have I done why am I losing control
Last night I was taking my pictures for Friday's thread and I was really satisfied with how I looked. So I decided, while riding the wave of confidence, to treat myself to my favorite meal from taco bell (which I haven't had since at least August <|3) so I asked my SO to swing by after work to get a Mexican Pizza to celebrate my least dysmorphic day in a year.
I've really made a huge mistake. I logged it for today since I literally finished eating it at 12:05am and now I'm so limited in what I'm allowed to have today. I went back to look at my pics and all I see is some delusional chunk that fucking blew it. It's gonna take a while to get over this, I'm positive.
I hate that my ED is probably something I'll live with for the rest of my life and I just feel so depressed. I wish I could eat like a normal person. I realized that I can't remember the last time I ate and wasn't immediately overcome with guilt and shame. I had my absolute favorite restaurant meal last month, a blue cheese hamburger with a side of pasta salad. I couldn't even enjoy how yummy it is because I had no way to even estimate the calories it has. I look around and I see people who are genuinely happy and enjoying their meal with their friends and having happy conversations.
Meanwhile I can't even look up or carry on a conversation with my SO bc I'm on the verge of tears. He knows I'm upset, and he isn't anything less than supportive and sensitive to my dilemma, but he doesn't deserve the way I get curt and silent when I should be having a great time with him. He tries to put it in perspective for me, saying that whatever calories I had won't make me gain. He drives us to the park bc he knows I just want to burn off calories, but he doesn't say it. He acts like it's something fun for us to do, but I know he's just trying to make me happy bc I can't handle the potential (let's be real, the inevitable) meltdown that leaves me barely functional for a week.
He listens to me go on about calories, he drives me to the library a week in advance so I can print off the pdf file of a restaurant's menu and mull over what I can order. He sits quietly in the car with me while I call the restaurant from the parking lot, to ask an employee what a serving size is for what I want, so I can put the right amount of oz on my log.
I don't deserve someone as great as him. I don't deserve to be like this. I deserve to be happy, but I. Just. Can't.
[Rant/Rave] Im so fucking angry with myself
/u/That_1bitch
Created: Wed Feb 28 11:45:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80ygi6/im_so_fucking_angry_with_myself/
---
Ive been fasting for two days and was gonna keep going today. Felt so good. I felt so light and empty. I got really fucking fatigued walking home from school though and i still have work later, so not good. Decided to eat a little bit so i could get through the work day. I ALMOST decided not to because of how good i felt. I havent weighed myself in a few days and last time i did i was at a new LW (im 5'6 and weighed in at 105.4 lbs). I knew i wouldnt be able to weigh myself for another couple days because i can only do it at my boyfriends house so my mom doesnt find out.
As soon as im fucking done eating i find out my mom and my brother are leaving soon to go somewhere. Ill be home alone and i could have weighed myself and seen a new low weight if i just kept fucking going. Now im fucking pissed at myself for eating when i could have waited like ONE FREAKING HOUR and i would have felt euphoric. I wasnt even THAT hungry just really low on energy. I fucked everything up. Npw im trying to purge it all and i cant even manage that, ive never done it successfully before.
Sorry for the long rant and sorry if the wording or anything is confusing im so unreasonably angry and upset right now.
[Discussion] Does anyone else hate when you don't *look* fat but feel enormous?
/u/m_inimal
Created: Wed Feb 28 11:45:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80yggy/does_anyone_else_hate_when_you_dont_look_fat_but/
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I'm writing this off as bloating, I guess, but today I woke up physically feeling huge and gross. Everything is just *off*. I feel like gelatinous blob, like I can physically feel the fat on my body weighing me down. I tried taking a shower, it didn't help. Tried picking out something cute to wear -- haha, good luck, because NOTHING looks good today. So I'm just wearing the loosest shit I can possibly find that is still decent enough to wear in public.
And yet when I look at myself in the mirror, I can *see* that I've lost weight. There's a dip in my waist that wasn't there before, my stomach is getting closer to being flat, etc. So why do I still feel like a fucking balloon?
Ugh.
[Help] Scales
/u/dearisabella [5'2" | GW: 110 | UGW: 100 | 21F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 11:43:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80yfoa/scales/
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My whole life, I've used the scale in my parents' bathroom. Now that I'm in university, I only weigh myself when I go home approximately every two weeks. It is kind of nice because I don't obsess over the number on the scale, but I'm thinking I should purchase one for myself so I can track more carefully. What do you guys think?
And are there any scales you recommend? I've been looking on Amazon, but nothing really amazes me. (Maybe because they are all just bodyweight scales and not the most glamorous purchase, haha)
[Rant/Rave] NEDA week & coworkers
/u/BooksAndCatsAnd [5'5 | HW: 148 | CW: 119 | BMI: 20 | GW: 104| 23F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 11:22:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80y9bx/neda_week_coworkers/
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My coworkers are mostly your typical overweight & obese desk jockeys. One of the obese ones is an older woman & I ran into her in the restroom... she had on a scarf matched to her NEDA pin and she was just looking me up and down in pity and then asked if I was okay because Iāve lost weight since I started a year ago. I just looked her in the eye and left the restroom without saying anything but like smh why make my business your business when I literally donāt know you at all.
Itās not like Iām outside a healthy weight range right now so like gtfo!
Anyway thanks for listening everyone. ā¤ļø
[Discussion] March
/u/shrinktoavoid [F 5'7|105.6]
Created: Wed Feb 28 11:18:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80y87m/march/
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It's the end of another month and the start of a new one!
What did you accomplish this month (ED related or not) and what are your goals for March?
For February I only binged once and purged twice! Unfortunately I have in to my new years resolution and started drinking energy drinks again, but whatev.
For March I hope to exercise more frequently and hopefully not binge/purge at all. Also starting a new vitamin regimen to hopefully make my hair stop falling out
Hereās what I gained and lost when I lost 25 lbs
/u/misspennyfoolish
Created: Wed Feb 28 11:10:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80y5jy/heres_what_i_gained_and_lost_when_i_lost_25_lbs/
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Gained: more respect from my mother, usually more confidence about my body, half my wardrobe back, more dates, greater sense of control, more anxiety, more obsession, fear of food, compulsion to count
Lost: fat, some insecurity, momās disparaging comments about my fat, ability to go out to eat without anxiety, freedom about what to eat, freedom from constant calculation, ability to eat without fighting back the urge to purge after
I donāt know what I prefer at this point. Does it even out? I donāt want to recover yet that much I know
Long story short
/u/ciscoroxofficial
Created: Wed Feb 28 11:06:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80y4dr/long_story_short/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why can our EDs change?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 28 11:05:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80y44z/why_can_our_eds_change/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Thank You and Goodbye:)
/u/greciamarzz
Created: Wed Feb 28 11:04:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80y3sj/thank_you_and_goodbye/
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At 5ā3 and 80 pounds I NEED to get better. And even though I get some sick satisfaction at typing out my weight, I know that it is not worth my health and the immense strain it has put on my marriage and schoolwork. My husband and I are going out to eat all week in order to make meals an āexperienceā and have me enjoy them more. Thank you all so much, and hopefully Iāll be able to stay away for a while.
[Help] Binged but not really?
/u/frida569
Created: Wed Feb 28 11:03:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80y3hb/binged_but_not_really/
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I restrict to 500 cals a day and today I think I ate close to 1200-1300 which I know still puts me at a deficit but I canāt help but freak out???? Someone help
I don't want to post this to relationships since they're judgmental
/u/PM_ME_BWW_GIFTCARDS
Created: Wed Feb 28 10:45:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80xxwu/i_dont_want_to_post_this_to_relationships_since/
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Hi guys, so I'm in a dilemma. I really do love my boyfriend deeply but he has a medical issue that he has had since a young age. I'm just confused in general what to do. I feel like a piece of shit for basically abandoning him when he told me I'm his only one, his true forever, blah. We've been together for two years now but I'm just sick of always waiting on him from the bathroom, worrying about his sleep schedule, etc. (if you read my post history I posted one entailing in full description of his problem)
I also don't know what to do because I'm not sure if I want kids anymore. He wanted 3 which I wanted too in the beginning but I don't know anymore.
I am relapsing again and in this dark shit hole. I feel like I have no one. I can't even tell my best friend that I'm obsessively counting calories in my free time. That I skip breakfast and lunch and feel guilty for eating dinner. That I take nyquil to fall asleep so I can ignore the hunger pains.
I just feel like a shitty person because I don't know what I want and I just need time to myself, but really his family is so nice and I feel like if I get back with him his family is going to hate me forever... fucking help me.
Edit: also I'm planning to wait to break up with him because he has important exams and I don't want him to fail
Why am I finding it so hard to make my thighs skinnier?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 28 10:44:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80xxnm/why_am_i_finding_it_so_hard_to_make_my_thighs/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80xxnm/why_am_i_finding_it_so_hard_to_make_my_thighs/
I am ruining my life
/u/wiggimal [5'6 | 128 | 21.0 | -57 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 10:41:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80xwm1/i_am_ruining_my_life/
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[removed]
Was feeling down about the scale not budging...however...
/u/Dumbledickhead [5'5 | CW 119 lbs | GW 90 lbs]
Created: Wed Feb 28 10:19:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80xqaf/was_feeling_down_about_the_scale_not/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Bang Energy drink?
/u/mhm646 [5'5" | CW fat | GW 125 | UGW 118 | 21F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 10:03:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80xlm9/bang_energy_drink/
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Has anyone tried this? I love monster but also use BCAAs and stuff when I work out and it looks amazing - no calories, no sugar, twice as much caffeine as a monster, plus creatine and BCAAs. I feel like I would never be hungry and could work out forever if I had this lol
[Other] I've been dating my ED for the last 2 years
/u/ricemask
Created: Wed Feb 28 09:58:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80xjyh/ive_been_dating_my_ed_for_the_last_2_years/
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He wants me to skip breakfast, walk 10 miles before letting me sleep, and only lets me eat with him. He's very good at numbers. He watches me chew my food at least 20 times and knows how many calories are in every bite. Sometimes he neglects me and I eat everything I can before he says anything. Sometimes I only have an hour, but sometimes he won't come back for weeks.
He wants me to be perfect and dainty but only lets me wear clothing that he thinks I deserve to wear. No dresses for my fat thighs, no skinny jeans, no cute tops, nothing that will attract other boys to wanting me. He constantly compliments how small my stomach and how beautiful my face is, but is also quick to call me fat and ugly. And I hold onto to each time he says I'm beautiful, which is rare.
But in the off chance, if a cute boy notices me who wants me to stop dating ED, ED quickly tells me no - no, he will never love you, he will think you're fat in bed, he's probably jerking off to a girl skinnier than you. He will never see you as beautiful and won't understand how much you've work so hard for your body. So, I go back to ED because he knows me well and will always take me back.
They tell you at 20 you should be kissing all kinds of people, enjoy all the sweets before you can't, and that these are the days that matter the most. But how can you kiss people when you have ED, how do you enjoys sweets when you need to run them off later, and how many days will it be until it matters? It doesn't matter whatever counselor or therapist or doctor or cute boy says, ED answers all of that and that's why we are still together.
[Other] Goals??!!?
/u/MyUGWisCremains
Created: Wed Feb 28 09:19:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80x8iy/goals/
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https://m.imgur.com/iSSNOX3
Got this bar from someone... safe?
/u/cccccml
Created: Wed Feb 28 08:52:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80x14e/got_this_bar_from_someone_safe/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Books?
/u/ayybih
Created: Wed Feb 28 08:31:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80wvco/books/
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I saw a thread somewhere talking about watching Thin and reading some books and now I canāt find it. Any book recommendations that relate to EDs?
This story spoke to me on many levels
/u/RootBeerSoup
Created: Wed Feb 28 08:21:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80wsqb/this_story_spoke_to_me_on_many_levels/
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https://catapult.co/stories/say-it-with-noodles-a-comic-about-food-and-language
[Rant/Rave] Woosh!
/u/for-your-pleasure [5'3" | CW118ish | GW99 | AFAB/they]
Created: Wed Feb 28 08:05:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80woo5/woosh/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Phantom Fat
/u/jenny4your-thoughts
Created: Wed Feb 28 07:53:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80wle7/phantom_fat/
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I just found out about this and it clicked with me. For those whoāve never heard of it, it is the thought that you are still at your high weight even after losing a significant amount of weight. Itās to the point where you still buy the same size clothes despite losing a lot of weight and looking in the mirror and still seeing yourself as the bigger version even though youāre not. Iām wondering if this is just an ED thing though? I have phantom fat and still see myself as the big girl even after losing 25 lbs. How many of you experience this as well?
[Rant/Rave] Awareness week is sucks for me :(
/u/alyssa1975
Created: Wed Feb 28 07:51:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80wkyx/awareness_week_is_sucks_for_me/
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[removed]
[Other] [rant] tfw your friend starts talking in the group chat about how she's sick and hasn't been able to keep anything other than water down for four days...
/u/pikapika350
Created: Wed Feb 28 07:38:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80whfe/rant_tfw_your_friend_starts_talking_in_the_group/
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[removed]
[Help] second guessing treatment
/u/swanstav [5'3 | 91lbs |BMI:16 | GW:85 |]
Created: Wed Feb 28 07:36:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80wgxc/second_guessing_treatment/
---
Hi, I have only posted once before but I really need words from people who have first hand experienced this.
about a week ago i got an evaluation at an ED clinic and they urged me to do their program. i am all set up to go at this pointā (talked to teachers about dropping classes, talked to mom& therapist...) I was feeling really okay about it all but then
all of the sudden I feel so petrified over the idea of weight gain and am second guessing going at all. I want to have a healthier relationship with food but I am so scared of gaining an unreasonably large amount of weight (anymore than 10 lbs)
Obviously I know the anxiety is something that almost everybody has gone through in this situation,
i would love to hear about other peopleās experiences w weight gain in treatment /// if there is a required weight to hit /// what happens if i canāt do it
I am worried that I will not be able to be honest with the therapists there.
I am worried that if I donāt gain weight they wonāt let me go to my two classes (I need to do part time at school due to financial aid and if I miss too many days it will show up as an F on my academic transcript)
[Rant/Rave] Unflattering video/photos of me from a friend hangout tonight.
/u/kinaadman [CW: FAT | GW: 90lbs]
Created: Wed Feb 28 07:36:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80wgws/unflattering_videophotos_of_me_from_a_friend/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Stuck between recovery and not good enough
/u/motivatedcactus [5'3" | CW 114.5 | BMI 20.84 | UGW skinny | 18F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 07:19:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80wcq8/stuck_between_recovery_and_not_good_enough/
---
Iām sure most of you have experienced something like this before. I feel like shit. I want to be better. I remember when I ate normally, not too long ago and I was mildly happy. Now Iāve lost some weight and I feel eh about my body. Iām starting to get more hungry than I wanna be skinny. So Iām considering ārecoveryā which I put in quotes because I donāt even know if Iām sick and if I am it hasnāt been long st all. But I just know if I try Iāll be guilty. Yesterday I went out to dinner with bf and tried to eat normally. I ended up binging. I donāt want that again.
I donāt want to be so excited to be allowed to eat again that I gain all the weight back. I feel fine how I am now and my bf tells me he likes my body now but I still want to lose more. Ugh itās just so frustrating sometimes.
Right now Iām on a kick of āeat under 50 calories a day until I reach my goal weightā if I do that itāll only take like a week for my first goal weight and two weeks for my UGW. in two weeks of near fasting I can reach my UGW. Be done with this and eat maintenance. STUCK!!
[Rant/Rave] [Rant-ish] Dealing with intermittent compulsions to *not eat*
/u/ElectricalDeer87 [5' 7.5" | 149lbs | Goal: 95 lbs | BMI 22.4 | 16F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 06:38:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80w35k/rantish_dealing_with_intermittent_compulsions_to/
---
[Contains possible triggers that do not consist of ED's]
Hey. eh. I never thought I'd make a post like this. I'm all about hiding things about myself and helping other people through what I never wanted.
But lately I've really been sad about my weight. I usually use my weight numbers in KG because it's supposed to make me feel better. Then, I converted it to lbs and.. I instantly started crying. I was so so so so so disappointed in myself. I had a goal for 95lbs, like once before.
I put my current height (which I really also don't like but I can't do anything myself to change that rip) and weight (:c) into a BMI calculator, and then my goal weight. A BMI of 14.4 is scarily low. I thrive on that. Fuck, that excites me. I'm *scared of myself*.
Starting of today I got really damn triggered into Ana again, somehow dropping the severe cutting I usually do every day to even survive. I've cut that down (heh) to about twice a day, but really not that bad. I do abuse blood thinners to get more satisfaction from that, though. (if that were to be important to know.
I got home from school, and my mother asked me to eat what I made her. I had the go, never did it, and was so so damn proud of myself that I actually for once was able to say "No, Anna. You can't just eat that."
I've successfully banned sugarry drinks, chocolate, anything bread or alike, applesauce (rip), bananas and pears. Both for Ana goals and because I perform worse when I have all these carbohydrate holding foods in me. I'm in a lot more physical pain with them, because I'm sick. And that's not considering Ana as a sickness.
[Rip structured talk]
To be short.. (sorry) I'm feeling excited and motivated, but also scared. I know I won't have the discipline to say no to the food all the time. Both because I can't, and my mom is forcing me (stop plis) and she would get very suspicious then. I've already been in a psych hospital for self-harm before. *Luckily* they *think* I'm cured of that.
I know I can't ask for tips on managing those urges, and dis-urges. But I do urge you to give me any kind of advice that could at least help me stay somewhat positive on it. I know it's an eating disorder. I kind of really don't like it, but I feel I have to. The more I read up about ED's, the more I feel like I might be faking the whole deal. I'm so different from so many other people! The same happened when I got extremely paranoid about my PTSD hallucinations and flashbacks.
(I don't talk about that a lot because it gets really freaky really quickly)
Please, send help. I don't know how to write texts to seem appealing to read, But I am a writer and am writing a book about myself in a comical way.
halp
Edit: my mom has removed all scales from our home 'because looking better is better, not just having better numbers'. She may be right, but it's hurtful to me. so I'm probably fatter than I am guessing to be. But I always think I'm fat though. Whattt
Cheers,
Deer
[Help] DAE have pain when laying or sitting down?
/u/HeartSecret [70" | CW 135 | CGW 125 | UGW 118 | female]
Created: Wed Feb 28 05:49:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80vscd/dae_have_pain_when_laying_or_sitting_down/
---
lately, whenever i lay down or sit anywhere, my bones hurt so bad. when iām laying down, itās mostly my spine, my shoulders, my hips, and my knees. and when iām sitting, itās my spine and my ābutt bonesā. my bf laughed at me when i said my butt bones were hurting after a movie, but(t) seriously... it hurts to sit that long.
does anyone have any tips for how to make relaxing a little more comfortable?
edit: typo.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 28, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Feb 28 05:12:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80vk9y/daily_food_diary_february_28_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 28, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday February 28, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Feb 28 05:11:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80vjvr/way_to_go_wednesday_february_28_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for February 28, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Just finished eating my daily calories
/u/dwaiiiii [5'3" | 118 | UGW: 95 | -7lbs | 20F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 05:05:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80vigl/just_finished_eating_my_daily_calories/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] February 28th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 04:41:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80ve2a/february_28th_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
When was the last time you were sick? (physical not mental lol)
In other news, the month is over my dudes! Did you meet goals you set for February? Are you setting goals for March?
Another goodbye, and hello to good life.
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 04:38:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80vdmf/another_goodbye_and_hello_to_good_life/
---
I haven't been as interactive as some on here, but I still wanted to mark my departure.
Like most people, I have highly conflicting feelings about recovery, including fear as well as hope. I have just been offered a place on day patient treatment, however, and see this as my final chance to turn things around. I hope you all find happiness one day soon too, I'm signing out hopefully for good now.
[Discussion] Anyone else gets extremely dry skin when restricting? How do you deal with it?
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 129 | GW: 110]
Created: Wed Feb 28 04:10:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80v8s3/anyone_else_gets_extremely_dry_skin_when/
---
[Intro] having a series of "oh...oh no" moments
/u/satansfirstwife [5'7 | SW:162 | CW:115 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 02:31:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80urt0/having_a_series_of_ohoh_no_moments/
---
This is gonna get lengthy.
First off I've been lurking here for what feels like an eternity (this sub has been saved to my bookmarks bar for months) and I have to say that I have actually been brought to tears several times by the support you all show each other here. It's so incredible to see a sub like this where people can vent honestly.
I'm finally posting because I think I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I have anorexia. I don't think I would be able to admit it if not for the overwhelming badgering from everyone in my life. My brother died eight months ago and my good friend (also a friend of my brother's) killed himself two months ago so I'm fairly sure everyone was on notice anyways, the way any decent people would be after the fucking year I've had. My co-workers are like family to me, and there has been talk. I know there has been. My manager told me he's scared to look at me. My roommate gently told me I may appear healthier at a higher weight, or that maybe it was just the amount I had lost (around fifty pounds) in the amount of time elapsed.
I've been seeing a therapist at the behest of my parents and sisters who insisted. She's incredible. I pray to all the old gods of mental fuckery that anyone who wants therapy finds a person as extraordinary as Katie. I went to that first appointment sure I would never go back, but she is damn good at her job. She's telling me she's worried, she suggests a "higher level of care"
But truth be told, I don't see what everyone sees even though I physically feel the differences. I think this is what truly scares me, to be honest. I am horrified to still think I am to fat or pudgy when I can feel my bones digging into every surface I'm sitting on. The cognitive dissonance terrifies me. I consider myself an intelligent rational person. Yet here I am, in the middle of this nightmare that I feel as though I overthought my way into.
I told my best friend who I may lowkey be in love with (I don't think I've had actual feelings in a few years so the jury is still out while I figure out what emotions mean) today that I'm going to disappoint him, and probably not get better. Maybe not ever. It doesn't feel like I ever can. This is my one good thing, my one way to survive, or at least it was before I met him. My eating disorder really hates him, but I think I have come to rely on him in ways I never anticipated and that scares me too. Having anorexia feels a lot like being afraid constantly. But sometimes the voice telling me not to eat is so strong, I can't feel the fear. I feel like I'm fading out slowly, as opposed to my brother's dashing sudden exit (kayaking accident, the daredevil he was) Sometimes I think about what he would say if he could see me like this and it's the only time I cry about it. How is it possible that I disappoint everyone in my life; the living, the dead, most of all me?
I was supposed to survive this for them, the boys I lost. But I feel like I can't, because the only way I feel I can survive right now is with my eating disorder. I can't deal with the pain otherwise. And now I'm worse and there's not a lot of weight left to lose before it's curtains and I just don't know how the fuck I got here. It feels like the last eight months/fifty pounds happened in three seconds and I've just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror for the first time, thinking, dammit.
[Rant/Rave] Constantly torn between restricting with shitty foods and healthy foods
/u/glossboy
Created: Wed Feb 28 01:54:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80um8j/constantly_torn_between_restricting_with_shitty/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Tfw your disordered eating accidentally falls into the intermittent fasting category so itās used as your justification
/u/vuuv95 [5'4 | CW: 108 | GW: 95 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 28 01:18:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80ug6j/tfw_your_disordered_eating_accidentally_falls/
---
I donāt eat all day. I just have a coffee in the morning and then wait till dinner to have a minimal calorie/small meal that gets me slightly full. Thatās not NOT unhealthy right?
[Rant/Rave] And then it hit me like a fist to my stomach. Hello illness.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Feb 28 00:42:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80ua5m/and_then_it_hit_me_like_a_fist_to_my_stomach/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave please.
I was feeling great and I felt good about myself for a couple hours then a couple drinks and time and reality came back to stay.
I am heavy. Fat. Gross.
My make up is smudge by sweat and grime from the long work day.
My voice doesn't vibrato like those others at the bar it's pitchy and uneven so far below and I know.
My jeans consume my legs like sausage casing holding on for dear life clinging to the cellulite.
I feel their heavy eyes watching and judging as I look around seeing those content with their curves and overspilling of body upon and within their clothes.
I am an elephant in the room everyone can see. I become invisible again. My glow tarnishes to brass and I am subhuman again.
I feel the compulsion to purge the little I've had. It was good and now it is bad. Vacation has ended and here I am again knowing what I always did but forgot if only for a brief blink. If only I didn't have to think.
W.
[Goal] starting the abc diet tomorrow.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 27 23:50:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80u0x7/starting_the_abc_diet_tomorrow/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Can I get someone to make sure I don't eat more than I should?
/u/KaiTheBi
Created: Tue Feb 27 23:06:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80tsgt/can_i_get_someone_to_make_sure_i_dont_eat_more/
---
[removed]
[Intro] Me at a great angle š
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 27 23:01:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80trmz/me_at_a_great_angle/
---
https://i.redd.it/y7jfjlvc9wi01.jpg
[Other] Bye everyone, thank you so much!
/u/decima205 [5'6" | SW: 150 | CW: 130 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 22:09:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80tgyg/bye_everyone_thank_you_so_much/
---
I've said it before and I'll say it again - /r/proED is one of the most supportive, loving, understanding ED communities on the Internet. You guys have been nothing but great and I always feel accepted here.
That said, I think I've also mentioned before that I'm a therapist in training, and my goal is to work with the eating disordered population in the future. I'm beginning clinical work in the summer and actually secured myself a position in an ED clinic, starting out as a milieu and group therapist and then moving up to doing individual sessions. (ahhhh!)
So long story short -- I need to recover for the sake of my career. It would be doing both myself and the patients I work with a huge disservice if I keep on trying to bottle up my ED behaviours. I might end up saying something damaging or fatphobic, having a minor panic attack while observing mealtimes, or worse yet, making a pro-ED remark that is detrimental to someone's recovery. I don't want that.
So thank you to everyone in this community for being there for me when I needed it most. I was originally going to fully delete my account (just in case someone connects me with my reddit username) but I've decided against that because I don't want my [recovery workbooks post](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e6bwg/collection_of_recovery_workbooks_manuals/) to disappear, so I'm just going to delete all of my previous comments in the sub.
I wish you all the best. Be safe! <3
EDIT: Took a quick peek here while deleting some old posts and wow. I am literally brought to tears by your well-wishes and love. Never change, /r/proED :')
[Rant/Rave] whale thighs
/u/tsumanne
Created: Tue Feb 27 21:25:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80t7qb/whale_thighs/
---
just needed to get this out somewhere and tell some people lol
so from october-november i was in a really bad binge cycle (no purging) and i gained 15 pounds in one month.. which is really bad considering i had been maintaining and i was in recovery for over half a year :/
after november i wasnāt eating as much and i just maintained that weight up until the start of february. come february, this boy that iām acquaintances with (heās in one of my classes), says something that triggered the Fuck out of me and now iām back to low restriction again.
āoh, you should go on a diet. i mean, your thighs look like theyāre gonna explodeā
i felt like a fucking whale like a blimp u know... a beluga whale or whateveer
and i know it was an offhand comment but anything about my weight and what i look like and how fat i look triggers me so bad.
i just lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks because of what he said to me.
i still feel just as fat and iām tired of being so tired and grumpy
7 months of recovery all wasted :/
[Discussion] Whatās the most stereotypical ED thing youāve done?
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:118 |19.7 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 21:16:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80t5oo/whats_the_most_stereotypical_ed_thing_youve_done/
---
I just walked 2 miles in the dark to a wawa to get halo top instead of driving because I wanted to burn calories. (Honestly it couldāve been dangerous being that itās late and I did get creeped on, but hey, I was burning calories right?)
It reminded me of that scene from To The Bone when they walk to the restaurant to burn calories before they eat. I eye rolled so hard at myself after making that connection.
Literally, like, thatās so stupid and disordered of me to put myself in harms way to burn calories. Has anyone had similar stupid or stereotypical moments?
How do I know
/u/Suchsmolsuchwow
Created: Tue Feb 27 20:56:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80t1k9/how_do_i_know/
---
[removed]
[Other] We're cheating on "our" "diet" together ha ha ha!
/u/pinkerapples
Created: Tue Feb 27 20:51:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80t0i2/were_cheating_on_our_diet_together_ha_ha_ha/
---
https://i.redd.it/n7xb5427mvi01.jpg
Cheating on "our" "diet" ha ha ha
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 27 20:47:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80szlf/cheating_on_our_diet_ha_ha_ha/
---
https://i.redd.it/hfdgyv2flvi01.jpg
[Discussion] How long do your binge cycles usually last for?
/u/eighttorches
Created: Tue Feb 27 20:25:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80sufl/how_long_do_your_binge_cycles_usually_last_for/
---
Its been the third day in a row and im scared its never going to end
[Rant/Rave] i done goofed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 27 19:40:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80sjso/i_done_goofed/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The text on the back of a flipz bag
/u/pmmeured
Created: Tue Feb 27 19:21:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80sf8t/the_text_on_the_back_of_a_flipz_bag/
---
āSo completely irresistible youll make up excuses to eat themā
āOdd number, bad luckā
āOne more after this oneā
āTheres holes, you can eat moreā
Thx for the binge justification, as I eat the whole bag lol
[Discussion] DAE take pictures of themselves at great angles?
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7 | 121 | 18.95 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Tue Feb 27 18:57:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80s9k6/dae_take_pictures_of_themselves_at_great_angles/
---
Does anyone else take thinspo level photos of themselves at really good angles and follow it up with realistic ones? I donāt quite know why I do it: I might do it to compare where I am to where I am to be but I donāt know. Is there a sub or anything for progress photos? Sorry, still pretty new to this.
[Rant/Rave] Small victory!
/u/steamedbun_27 [165cm | too much / GW: 53kg | idk | -27kg | F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 18:53:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80s8qq/small_victory/
---
I've just recently got out of a binge/restrict/fast cycle. Usually I wouldn't be able to last 2 days after a binge without binging again - but today is my 5th day binge free! Still don't dare to weigh myself, but hopefully the weight gain all comes off soon. Hoping to last through the week :)
[Rant/Rave] I feel sexy kind of. At least not as awful.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Feb 27 18:24:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80s1n8/i_feel_sexy_kind_of_at_least_not_as_awful/
---
On mobile flair as rant or rave or something.
I just want to acknowledge how weird it is to not feel super shitty about myself and my body for this brief moment. I binged last night but woke up and things seemed odd. My tummy was flatter than I remember. I wasn't bloated and my fav jeans from pre binge last week fit. I did my make up and went out into the world and people were nice to me and the awful thoughts seemed quieter today. I know this moment will pass like it always does but I just like it now. Maybe one day I can actually feel better about myself.
W.
[Discussion] Fellow redditors forced into recovery: what is your cw vs your lw? How do you cope with the change?
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 73 lbs | don't even want to know | forced into recovery ]
Created: Tue Feb 27 18:18:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80s08x/fellow_redditors_forced_into_recovery_what_is/
---
Cw: 73 lbs when I last weighed myself (Monday morning)
Lw: 66 lbs
I don't really have any idea how to cope.
[Rant/Rave] Skipped the gym today because I hate myself too much
/u/nvrgonnaleavethisBED [5'10"|too many|F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 17:57:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80rv31/skipped_the_gym_today_because_i_hate_myself_too/
---
Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning on the way out the door and my ham hock thighs sickened me so much I wanted to just turn around outside the elevator and go home. My boyfriend talked me into leaving the house, but once he got to the bus stop to go to lectures, I just looped back around and came home.
My fat ass was even going to bring extra banana bread I'd made to the gym for the trainers I know, but I'm too fat to do that right now. I feel like I'd be a cliche of a fat girl who always carries cake around.
I'm not even losing weight. I'm "on a meal plan" that keeps getting fucked up because I'm bored and unemployed and keep baking and binging, and my fucking boyfriend who doesn't get that I need order and schedules and plans keeps both springing surprise shit and meals on me while also not following through on any of the things he says he will. We were supposed to go to the gym together this morning but he didn't wake up when he said he would. He keeps doing this, and my dumbass keeps believing him when he says he'll help.
I'm sick of his bullshit. I'm sick of my bullshit. I'm sick of being fat. I'm sick of hating myself and not leaving the house because I am too fat and ugly to even wear real clothes, instead of just leggings all the time.
[Rant/Rave] This is why I donāt work out
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Tue Feb 27 17:45:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80rsak/this_is_why_i_dont_work_out/
---
I recently started working out again (this is my third consecutive day) and yesterday went fuckin great- I was able to run for 30 min straight which I havenāt done in months and I completed a weight training set.
But today I canāt do shit. I did 25 min of cardio, most of it was walking and only 10 min of jogging and thereās no way any weight training was happening. It makes me feel like a fucking failure and like I canāt eat- and I havenāt eaten in 42 hours š”
I feel like a lazy fat pos. I was really looking forward to eating tonight and now I donāt deserve it.
[Discussion] Does anyone else have overweight parents?
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Tue Feb 27 17:39:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80rqti/does_anyone_else_have_overweight_parents/
---
Idk just random question. I found out today my parents were overweight and it makes me want to restrict until I die tbh
[Discussion] DAE never actually get ~compliments~ about their weight? Just snide comments?
/u/ayvyns [5'7ā | 130| 20.2 | -9 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 16:31:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80r9eb/dae_never_actually_get_compliments_about_their/
---
It just hit me today after I complimented a coworker on her weight loss that no one ever actually bothers to tell me I look good or anything, just snide comments about how I *must* not know anything about having to watch what I eat, cook healthy meals, or work out, despite the fact that I used to think about these things far more than all of my coworkers COMBINED... it's so dismissive and mean, like goddamn. Out of spite I just started saying "ya lol ur right" because wtf were you expecting me to do, trip over myself to disapprove your wrong af assumptions? No fuckin thanks
[Rant/Rave] The weight of living > The weight of me
/u/bpd-ed [5'2" | 86 lbs | 16.29 | 21 y/o | F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 16:11:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80r45i/the_weight_of_living_the_weight_of_me/
---
I have to see my rapist in court next week.
I got rejected by 2/3 university programs I applied to due to my 'unstable academic history' which means they looked at the transcript from my first attempt at uni (which is terrible due to my mental health starting to deteriorate at the same time) and *maybe* looked at my college transcript (which is great up until the point where I suddenly withdraw because I was put in inpatient for a few weeks, went back the following semester, found out the career prospects for my program all involve driving which I can't handle, then the college went on strike so I withdrew again). I am so scared to hear back from the final program. I did, thankfully, get in to all of the college programs I applied to and even got additional offers, which has been awesome, but they aren't my first choices and that's hard to deal with.
I have had to increase my daily intake to ~1000/day after some health complications and I feel so much shame and guilt around it.
My relationship with my partner of just over 3 years is falling apart but we just moved to our first roommate-free apartment and he is one of my only sources of non-theraputic love/support.
I am constantly worried about messing up at my first stable job I've had in so long.
**BUT**
*I made a goal a few months back to weigh 85lbs by the time the trial came around and this morning I weighed in at 86 so by Monday I have reached my goal*
š
New here
/u/tazoteabb [5'2 | 101 | 19.14 | -12 | F | štinyfossil]
Created: Tue Feb 27 16:06:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80r2tk/new_here/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Those of you who purge: how often do you do it?
/u/crazeecatladee [5'5 | CW: 125lbs | GW: 130lbs (trying to gain muscle) | 28F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 15:46:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80qx15/those_of_you_who_purge_how_often_do_you_do_it/
---
For the past few months I've been binging and purging 2-5 times a day, every day. I've only had two purge-free days since October, and I can't remember the last time I ate a normal-sized meal. I thought this was common for bulimics, but after reading a lot of the threads here, I'm starting to realize it might not be?
So, out of curiosity, how often do those of you who purge do it? Do you tend to cycle through periods of b/p and periods of restriction, or do you purge on a regular basis?
[Other] I got my period!
/u/throwaway2019170
Created: Tue Feb 27 15:12:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80qn2v/i_got_my_period/
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Iāve always had an inconsistent period. So I can never really predict when Iām going to get it. After not getting it for 2 months, I got it today! Iāve been feeling super down about myself mainly because whenever Iāve been stepping onto the scale, it was 5-6lbs above my goal weight.
I thought Iāve been doing something wrong like eating more than I shouldāve.. but Iām happy to report that the reason why Iāve been above my āaverageā (plateau weight) is because Iāve most likely been bloated the past week or so. Small achievement for me, just needed to share because of how happy I am right now
[Thinspo] Duolingo hit me in the feels.
/u/KerrlyQue
Created: Tue Feb 27 14:48:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80qg14/duolingo_hit_me_in_the_feels/
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https://i.redd.it/oayzwu5btti01.png
[Rant/Rave] When you lose weight, but you lost weight WHERE
/u/bunolii
Created: Tue Feb 27 14:43:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80qelk/when_you_lose_weight_but_you_lost_weight_where/
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This came up in counseling for me today. I started at 143 lbs months ago, down to 120 this morning. I understand the difference in numbers, but visually Iām pissed off because *20 pounds where*?? I look maybe 5 pounds different. So I am wondering what your experience with dropping the numbers but looking the same are. I know itās par for the course for this disorder, but is there ever a point where you actually see the difference?
[Discussion] DAE binge on foods they know will make them sick?
/u/I_swear_I_am_FINE
Created: Tue Feb 27 14:34:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80qc1c/dae_binge_on_foods_they_know_will_make_them_sick/
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So I do this thing. I heavy restrict (500 cal per day) during the week, then 1000 weekends (always strict Keto).
Heavy restriction is hard so I have one particular binge food. Its Ambrosia - a dessert that has sugar free marshmallows, greek yogurt, stevia and strawberries that i blend up to make a paste. Its good, and only 50 cal per 100g. I eat an entire big container of it. Thing is, I only binge on it because I know it contains malitol. Lots of it (in the marshmallows). Think (sugar free gummy bears extreme laxative reviews on Amazon). So ill binge on it, and it will give me the high off the binge, then I get the extreme laxative effect. Win win, right? Except its fucking up my body of course but my ED brain loves it. Its like a cheat code, but i KNOW its destructive. Why am i like this
[Rant/Rave] out of control inner pig š½
/u/botpockets [5'10" | CW 139 | GW 125 | F | šbotpockets]
Created: Tue Feb 27 14:34:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80qc0c/out_of_control_inner_pig/
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Every night when I get home from work I suddenly feel like I need to eat so badly. I'll plan out my meals, but then after eating it'll feel like I'm still completely empty and I end up making something else within an hour.
I know I just gotta stick to what I plan (don't feed that little pig in your head), but it's been a few weeks of eating at/over maintenance and I'm tired of feeling out of control.
I've tried eating bigger lunches, smaller lunches, planning a bigger dinner, etc. I just feel stuck. At least I'm stuck at just under 140, since 139 was my goal weight for Christmas.
[Rant/Rave] weight loss motivating me to stay alive
/u/peppermintschnapps55 [5'4" | -30 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 14:15:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80q6hr/weight_loss_motivating_me_to_stay_alive/
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soooo I've been pretty actively suicidal the past few days and one of the few things keeping me motivated to stay alive (besides clichƩ things like my family) is that I'm not at my goal weight yet. My goal weight is a good 20 pounds lighter than I have been as an adult, in fact it's lighter than I was when I was in sixth grade. I really want to see what my adult body looks like at that weight. And as pathetic as that is, it makes me not want to die quite yet. It's pathetic, I know, but what can you do.
[Discussion] Need some new dinner ideas whatās your go to?
/u/gothicapples
Created: Tue Feb 27 13:59:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80q1zj/need_some_new_dinner_ideas_whats_your_go_to/
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[Help] Help!!! Should I eat??
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Tue Feb 27 13:54:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80q0g0/help_should_i_eat/
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Iām torn between being normal and eating what I want and needing to lose 10 lbs to get under 100.
I am in the city which I usually never venture to and there are soooo many food places here I want to try. I just want to be normal and go try new foods if I want to!!
But I am also creeping up towards 110 and feeling bad about myself lately and I know if I eat Iāll feel bad and want to throw it up. Also I am like 37 hours fasted and know Iāll be happier in the long run if I just continue to fast and go to the gym.... but like Iām hungry and donāt always have the opportunity to eat these foods
Seriously need your input guys š
[Rant/Rave] Tried to talk to my bf about how Iāve been struggling and it backfired
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Tue Feb 27 13:43:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80pwt0/tried_to_talk_to_my_bf_about_how_ive_been/
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Like two weeks ago he told me Iāve been looking healthier and itās a good thing bc now I can exercise and put on muscle and not worry so much about what I eat.
For reference I am between 105-108 and 5ā1. I was 104 in December and felt pretty good about myself and was fasting super regularly. Since then Iāve been eating a lot more and feeling more normal, but Iāve also felt fluffier and not as good about myself. I thought it was just me being critical but then he said that about looking healthier and it freaked me the fuck out. How can he see a couple lbs??!
Itās been on my mind every day so I finally told him how it affected me and Iāve been feeling super uncomfortable and stressed and it was soooo hard to talk about. He was attentive and listened but really didnāt say anything other than he thinks working out would be good for me so I wonāt feel so bad about myself, and that healthy wasnāt bad.
But I felt so much worse after the conversation. I needed so much more, I needed him to tell me Iām stupid for feeling like Iāve let myself go and assure me that I still look ok, but he really didnāt have anything to say.
I know I canāt expect him to read my mind or know the things to say but I just feel so stupid after talking about it.
I donāt want to talk about it at all anymore š
Also i am still under 110 and my size 0ās still fit so I canāt be as big as I feel right??? I feel huge
[Discussion] Has anyone else hopped on the 2 ingredient bread fad? What are your favorite things to make?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 13:05:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80plkg/has_anyone_else_hopped_on_the_2_ingredient_bread/
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So I decided to try it yesterday because why not? Thinking it'd be better for me to eat pizza made at home than order a large delivery and eat the whole thing. But really I tried the basic recipe and made bread sticks with everything seasoning. Basically it's equal parts self-rising flour and nonfat Greek yogurt, then you brush it with an egg wash and top with anything you want. I used 1/2 cup flour (200) and 1/2 cup nonfat Fage Greek yogurt (65) and it took about half an egg for the wash (40). Now this recipe is 2 servings for two bagels at 152.5 calories (although I always round up to 153). Which is pretty good. Now I'm wondering what else I could use this recipe for. Has anyone done the pizza? Any unique ways I could use this to replace something else?
Logging Binges on counters
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Tue Feb 27 12:59:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80pjnq/logging_binges_on_counters/
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Do any of yall log your binges? I recently tried to start eating more on Sundays, which has turned into 4000+ out of control Sundays, but recently I stopped due to the guilt and how it hurt my averages over the other 6 days. Not logging seems to make me feel better about upping my intake to 700-1000 without binging the rest of the week or restricting too low to make me ravenous=binging. This sunday I am planning to scale down to a binge meal, and I think I will log it if I am successful. I have been doing so much better with binging and my goal is to truly try to have a normal meal with family or friends without all hell breaking lose. But do any of yall log those really bad, upsetting, not very good days? Or just move on? I really hope I can do this. It hurts so much.
[Other] I can go from 0 to 100 real quick
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Tue Feb 27 12:46:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80pft2/i_can_go_from_0_to_100_real_quick/
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I sat down to eat my 145 calorie bowl of veggies tonight and my mom swooped down to hug me while I was sitting. She kept poking and touching my ribs and I could feel her fingers between the ridges and it made me so upset and angry that I totally freaked out at her and told her to stop touching me.
I feel so guilty. Restriction makes me so cranky.š
[Rant/Rave] Road to recovery... salads, cookies, and awake bars
/u/pegasib
Created: Tue Feb 27 12:45:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80pfjb/road_to_recovery_salads_cookies_and_awake_bars/
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For the past two months, I've been struggling tremendously with BED. Last week was probably the worst - I went the entire week without studying (I'd binged every single day, even with a midterm scheduled). The day I had my midterm, I remember freaking out (not because I didn't study, but because I would need to go two hours without food - crazy, I know).
I've been seeing my university's therapist and he suggested that I practice mindfulness and urge surfing (noting emotional and physical sensations whenever the cravings arise). For the past two days, I've been somewhat successful in coping my binge.
Just now, my urge to binge sprung up, right in the middle of my study session. I felt ridiculously anxious and spent twenty minutes walking around campus. In the end, I ended up buying one Caramel Awake Bar, one small bag of cookies, sparkling water, and a salad (what?!)
The entire time, I thought to myself, "fuck this. Fuck BED. I hate gaining weight. I hate feeling like shit the entire time. If I want to binge, fine. Baby steps." I went to a cafe and ordered a small salad instead of the usual cheesesteak + giant peanut butter cookie + chicken tenders combo I usually get whenever I binge.
This is a small victory for me. It's still really tough for me, but I'm glad I'm moving in the right direction.
[Rant/Rave] first time on the scale since before christmas
/u/oriamB [5'6 | CW 135? | GW 120 | always fluctuating | F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 12:40:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80pdyh/first_time_on_the_scale_since_before_christmas/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is amenorrhea actually that harmful?
/u/Miss_Springfield
Created: Tue Feb 27 12:37:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80pczf/is_amenorrhea_actually_that_harmful/
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I'm at BMI 18.7 but I still have no period. I exercise (heavy weights supplemented with running and HIIT) six days a week. I'm vegan but I eat a lot of protein and hit all my micronutrients.
I'd like to say that I'm healthy, much healthier that I was at my lowest weight and even healthier than pre-ED (was normal weight, but "skinnyfat", out of shape, ate crap). I probably have strong bones from heavy lifting. I eat nutritious food. I take supplements for iron, calcium, D2, B12, and zinc. I hardly get sick. I even underwent a "bulk" to gain muscle mass.
How bad is amenorrhea, if one lives an otherwise healthy lifestyle? I'm a long way from having kids, and I know that period doesn't necessarily indicate fertility. I highly doubt my bones are weak. I don't miss my period, and am a better athlete without it. But is my amenorrhea going to bite me in the butt?
[Rant/Rave] Wasted Calories on Non-Perfect Meal
/u/greciamarzz
Created: Tue Feb 27 12:23:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80p8yo/wasted_calories_on_nonperfect_meal/
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Yesterday my husband gave me a few options for what to get for dinner and I chose a hot pot place over sushi because the rolls I always get are covered in sauce and I figured the other might be a better alternative. However, after finishing my meal I had a panic attack that led to a huge blowout with him and me crying in the tub. Itās not that the meal was bad, it just felt like I wouldāve been more satisfied with sushi. And I felt like i wasted calories on a meal that couldāve been better :(
EC Stack causes throat pain when I eat?
/u/yssjfs [SW:160|LW:112|CW:130.8|GW:ā ]
Created: Tue Feb 27 12:03:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80p2x9/ec_stack_causes_throat_pain_when_i_eat/
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Hello! Just wondering if this is a side-effect people don't talk about, or if anyone else has experienced this. I love my EC stacks, but a few months ago I took a break from them. When I started using them again I found that for about 24 hours after taking one swallowing hurts like fucking hell. Like my throat just closes up like crazy, especially with any kind of carbs.
Just looking to see if anyone else has had this happen (I took them for months and never had a side effect like this!). Thanks ā¤ļø
[Discussion] DAE binge on their own baking?
/u/birdsbirdsbirds339 [24F| 160cm | gw: 145 | -10]
Created: Tue Feb 27 11:57:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80p11y/dae_binge_on_their_own_baking/
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In the past few days I've made giant batches of macaron and soft pretzels... I love baking because it's such a meditative, hands-on process, I can just zone out and listen to music while kneading or mixing. Of course, after it's done i can't help but mindlessly shove them into my mouth and destroying my fasting progress... At least it tastes good :')
Can I share my progress? Down 8.8lbs in 27 days!
/u/dotdot-8 [5'8| CW131 | GW122 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 11:53:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80ozrh/can_i_share_my_progress_down_88lbs_in_27_days/
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https://imgur.com/Oen8ykp
[Discussion] Shrinking out of my clothes...
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|110.6lb|23F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 11:27:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80orfu/shrinking_out_of_my_clothes/
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So I'm getting to that point where all my clothes are starting to be too big for me, which sucks but I needed to go clothes shopping anyway.
What are some articles of ED-friendly clothing that you just couldn't do without? I think I'm going to get a lot of leggings and big flowy shirts. But I also don't want to buy things that I will outgrow if (god forbid) I ever have to gain weight again. Thoughts?
[Rant/Rave] My pants are too tight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 27 10:55:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80oh3z/my_pants_are_too_tight/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] My bf broke up with me because of my ED
/u/daisyhands
Created: Tue Feb 27 10:17:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80o5q9/my_bf_broke_up_with_me_because_of_my_ed/
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iāve been crying for 2 days consecutively it feels like. my family are finding out about my ED. i have no friends. iāve lost everything and i donāt really want to be here anymore. I canāt stop binging now either :(
[Discussion] Do you guys take Bronkaid with food or without?
/u/PM_ME_BWW_GIFTCARDS
Created: Tue Feb 27 09:55:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80nyui/do_you_guys_take_bronkaid_with_food_or_without/
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I used to take Bronkaid without food every morning but then started developing these weird heart pangs. I haven't taken Bronkaid for a while, but I'm constantly tempted to start again.
Edit: currently took 8mg of Bronkaid and skipped lunch and went for a walk! Not even hungry this shit is great to be back on.
2nd update: Thinking of skipping dinner, but I'm not sure since it is only 5:34 PM. I'm pretty sure once it is around 7 o'clock since I took it at 1 PM I will be hungry again. I'll update you guys soon.
[Rant/Rave] I've finally found the perfect trigger
/u/Grymdolin
Created: Tue Feb 27 09:27:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80nq8z/ive_finally_found_the_perfect_trigger/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why do I screw everything up?
/u/ZealousidealValuable [5'5 | 154 | Fat | ? | F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 08:47:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80neu6/why_do_i_screw_everything_up/
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I've been working hard to drop pounds and here I go screwing it all up. Last night a darkness came over me and I binged on whip cream, pepperoni and pork rinds. I'm so disappointed with myself. To top it off I started today out with P90X Polymetrics, but my asthma flared up and I couldn't breathe 10 minutes into it.
I'm a failure at everything.
I'm a failure for having an ED, for having asthma, and for being a fat sack that can't do polymetrics and for just being me.
I have to weigh myself now, but I'm terrified.
[Rant/Rave] I'm fasting today
/u/andromedagalaxxy [5'6.5 | 128 | 20.4 | -19 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 08:42:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80ndfp/im_fasting_today/
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I don't feel like I need to from excessive binging, but I'm trying to do a few fasts over the next few months so I can hit my goal around the start of summer.
But I've never successfully done a fast for a day. I've made it till 8pm and just gave up. I really want to push myself to do it, to prove that I can, but I'm scared I'll just mess up again. Like I have a brownie from work that I'm afraid I'll eat, I have a really bad sweet tooth. Bleh idk I need support :/
[Other] gotta get those steps in for the day
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 07:41:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80mwqn/gotta_get_those_steps_in_for_the_day/
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https://i.redd.it/sc0kgvw2pri01.png
Don't Forget - Food is Fuel!
/u/PsychBytes
Created: Tue Feb 27 07:31:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80mu8y/dont_forget_food_is_fuel/
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https://www.psychbytes.com/food-is-fuel/
[Rant/Rave] When the husbands away the wife gets to play š
/u/AnnahxD [5'9" | CW149 | 21.61 | GW127 | F21]
Created: Tue Feb 27 07:31:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80mu82/when_the_husbands_away_the_wife_gets_to_play/
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No but really my husbands on night shift so I get to eat whatever I want, AKA nothing. Iām going to miss seeing him like normal... but also kind of excited for fasting without judgement. Being sick & married is hard... but on the other hand my husband is an amazing understanding man whoās been with me through everything and Iām extremely lucky to have him.
[Rant/Rave] Disappointed in myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 27 07:07:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80mo87/disappointed_in_myself/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80mo87/disappointed_in_myself/
[Other] After wasting twenty minutes trying to find a new ED doc
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 27 07:02:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80mmod/after_wasting_twenty_minutes_trying_to_find_a_new/
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https://imgur.com/a/CizGT
[Discussion] February 27th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 06:46:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80miyx/february_27th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Are you the original or the remix? Why?
(?)
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday February 27, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Feb 27 05:10:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80lyd9/thinspo_tuesday_february_27_2018/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 27, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Feb 27 05:10:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80lycf/daily_food_diary_february_27_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 27, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Goal] Time to get serious
/u/Really_Rizzoli
Created: Tue Feb 27 04:22:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80lpui/time_to_get_serious/
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Here we go. It's crunch time for me. I cannot be like this anymore so I'm ready to get serious about my weight loss
Plan for each day
- Coffee in the morning and fruit
- granola bar before my ballet classes
- A vegetable in the evening.
- Tea throughout the day, vitamins, iron pills.
I find that if I keep my intake simple, to one fruit one vegetable one carb, keeps me in control and i'll save money in the long run.
Just have to figure out how to resist the urge to BINGE ugh
Also, thank you for providing such a comfortable space so i can talk about this š
[Rant/Rave] What a fucking week... but I found my salvation.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.5 | 19.55/19.32 | GW: 57 | UGW: <55 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 02:19:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80l55i/what_a_fucking_week_but_i_found_my_salvation/
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So I moved to Berlin last week. Said good bye to everything/one I loved in Copenhagen, got on a bus, and now I'm starting my PhD. Everything has been hectic and insane and will be for awhile. Nothing is easy and everything from music to tv shows has been making me feel like I'm both exactly where I should be and that I never should have left home. Like I started season 3 of Fargo and the opening scene is them speaking German.
As a result my routine has been thrown to shit. No ballet, no gym, no scale. I know I've gained real weight in addition to the water weight I can see. I desparately need to get back to fasting/restricting to have something "normal" but my coworkers eat lunch together everyday so I've been eating two meals instead of my normal 1.
It's gotten so bad I binged on fucking rice cakes with mayo (which I never eat) then purged it all (using mustard as a tracker).
BUT I found my saving grace in the form of [Club Mate](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Club-Mate). It's 100 kcal and 100 mg of caffeine for 0,5 L. That, and the fact that American Spirits are sold everywhere are the only things helping me keep a grip on my sanity.
I know I'm going to love this city. I already feel at home in terms of the fashion and club scene, but right now it's kind of kicking my ass.
**tl;dr:** Club Mate == Germany's best kept secret.
[Rant/Rave] Sad times lead to bad eating.
/u/cancookaroast [179cm | CW: 80kg | BMI: 24.9 | WL: 17kg | 22F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 02:13:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80l451/sad_times_lead_to_bad_eating/
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My boyfriend and I have decided to have a 3 month break to sort out some issues we are both having independently. It's for the best for us as a couple and individuals but holy fucking shit it is painful.
Debating whether to get a pizza, or cook a whole lot of pasta and binge or to not eat at all š¤
[Help] BAT SIGNALS....I NEED YOUR HELP
/u/eboneezah [169| Fat Cow | Not Yet There]
Created: Tue Feb 27 01:43:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80kz2s/bat_signalsi_need_your_help/
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Guys please i need a medium through which to connect/communicate with fellow strugglers in this SR.
I missed the mega kik thread..ive been in the hospital for weeks ..luckily wasting away in terms of body fat but i need to get back to my old..disciplined way of life.
Im mid twenties..focused on how i loook..living in europe. I just need someone to talk to please.
My KIK is MorganneOsmanne. Thanks
[Rant/Rave] Does life get better once you reach your goal weight?
/u/Drichthy [5'2.25" | CW: Egg | GW: 90| F]
Created: Tue Feb 27 00:48:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80kozu/does_life_get_better_once_you_reach_your_goal/
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I've slowly begun to feel like the edge has been taken off binging. I realized that while moderation is impossible for me, I can just as effectively binge or fast. I still have days where I binge, but I don't even enjoy them anymore, and I'm beginning to feel myself heading more towards restriction. Which should make me happy, but does anything change?
I'd imagine that if I hit my goal weight, I'd just set it lower, or if not that obsess over maintaining it. Which, considering I'd like to hit a BMI of 14.5, doesn't really seem plausible.
I'm supposed to go to college next year and be a functional adult. Everything feels like terrible timing. I feel like between now and then, there isn't enough time for me to really hit "rock bottom" in order for me to get my act together before I start my life. I'd like to say that I'd hit the weight I want to hit and then everything would get better, but I feel like it never will.
Does it get better? Can anyone just hit a goal weight and move on, or at least be mostly functional at that point? I feel like there's no point to going on in my life anymore because all I see is disordered eating taking over my life, and what kind of existence is that?
Sorry for the really long rant. I don't generally post here, I'm sorry if I'm violating any policy. If I am, just let me know and I'll edit or delete the post.
[Discussion] Awareness week is the MOST triggering shit...
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 23:33:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80kbev/awareness_week_is_the_most_triggering_shit/
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I feel like I have to live up to an image of my ED for people to care about me usually. Thats 50x times truer this week. Also just seeing ~normies~ talking about it triggers the fuck out of me. I feel like they're all going to figure me out (but part of me hopes they do??) and all the articles are so patronizing (or cheesy, and I dont know which is worse)
anyway fuck NEDA week
[Discussion] Reverse body dysmorphia?!?!
/u/onegoalfullcontrol
Created: Mon Feb 26 23:18:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80k8i9/reverse_body_dysmorphia/
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Okay so I've probably had an eating disorder for ~6 years at this point. Grades 9-12 I had technically ednos but more on the anorexia side. The past 2 years it's been binge eating disorder. This whole time it's been the same thoughts with food obsession. The only thing that's changed it that I got exhausted of trying so hard, hence the switch to binge eating.
Now, throughout all of this I've obviously had body dysmorphia. I'm at my heaviest right now, 165 lbs (I know, I know, it's disgusting) and my lowest was 130 lbs (so 35 lbs difference). But despite my weight gain, I still see myself the exact same. I don't understand why or how. I *feel* more confident in my body (I've been trying to reverse it) but I look exactly the same. I don't get it. Like, I can see places where I have more fat but... overall, I look the same.
If I ever do lose the weight... will I see it? Is there a way how I could see my body for the way it is... maybe my recent attempts at confidence are hindering my actual perception of my body?
My ideal weight (I think?) would be about 115 lbs at 5"7 or 170 cm.
[Rant/Rave] Sarah Hyland (Haley Dunphy on Modern Family) just posted her weight on IG and now Iām like š
not eating for a week
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Mon Feb 26 23:18:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80k8fj/sarah_hyland_haley_dunphy_on_modern_family_just/
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https://i.redd.it/u1qndc8d7pi01.jpg
[Help] I need a person to keep me accountable for my calories and how much I eat
/u/KaiTheBi
Created: Mon Feb 26 23:06:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80k62n/i_need_a_person_to_keep_me_accountable_for_my/
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[removed]
[Help] I feel like I'm at my wit's end.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 137 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 23:01:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80k52u/i_feel_like_im_at_my_wits_end/
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I ended up around maintenance day. And it was so difficult to not overeat. I'm so fucking frustrated, and it feels impossible to have control over my weight because I live with 4 (5 when my grandma is here) other people, and they all bring in some kind of junky treat every fucking day. And it's been like this *since the end of 2016*. Because that's when I moved back in with my parents. I don't know what to do anymore. I did recently get a job, so I can hopefully move out within the next few months. But I REALLY don't want to gain anymore. Any advice?
[Rant/Rave] I need to get back on track
/u/isaezraa
Created: Mon Feb 26 22:44:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80k1jz/i_need_to_get_back_on_track/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Late evening mini grocery shop + small victories
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 134.2 | GW 115 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 22:39:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80k0o2/late_evening_mini_grocery_shop_small_victories/
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I went to the grocery store and ended up leaving with frozen cherries, baby pickles, two packages of canned tuna and fresh prepared papaya.
Normally if I end up at the grocery store in the evening I get c/s food but I've been trying to get away from that habit. I went over my ideal calorie amount today by about 300cals but most of that was fruit so I'm not going to freak out. I think I needed something healthy in my body anyway.
What small victories have you started the week with?
[Tip] Drawing whatās on my mind from advice on this sub reddit has really helped to take things off of my mind, these are all the foods I dream of
/u/mooseca_ [5ā8ā | CW:102lbs | BMI:15.62 | GW: Bones | Female]
Created: Mon Feb 26 21:46:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80jpr8/drawing_whats_on_my_mind_from_advice_on_this_sub/
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https://i.redd.it/gl53vg12roi01.jpg
How the hell do y'all study?
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | CW 120lbs (treatment rip) | GW 95lbs]
Created: Mon Feb 26 21:45:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80jpf3/how_the_hell_do_yall_study/
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I used to be a PHENOMENAL student. I would procrastinate, of course, but when crunch time came, I was a productive, perfectionistic machine.
I think that girl is still inside me, but every time I sit down to do work, my ED voice WILL NOT SHUT UP. It's as if focusing on something other than food for 15 MINUTES will cause me to gain 300 pounds. What the hell do I do? How do I turn it off? I really don't want to have to drop out of college.
This happens even when I'm eating, so it isn't hunger-driven. Any ideas/tips/commiseration? Pls
[Rant/Rave] Fuck you, burrito.
/u/asenseofnormal [5ā7ā | 145.3 | 22.76 | 23F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 20:51:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80jdwn/fuck_you_burrito/
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I'm sitting here staring at a fucking 250 calorie microwave burrito and I'm apparently incapable of deciding what to do next.
These last several weeks have really tested my strength re: sticking with recovery. Especially these past few days. Suddenly, I feel like I've lost all the progress I've made attempting to "reframe the way I think about food and my body" and it's just... I feel horrible about everything. Intrusive thoughts are getting more and more frequent, reminding me how fat I've gotten and how I'm eating way too much these days and *wouldn't it be so nice and simple to just go on a little diet and lose some of the extra weight?* They're becoming impossible to ignore.
Today I decided, fuck it, I won't eat at all. And I didn't, until about an hour ago, when my boyfriend brought up that I still needed to eat dinner. If it had just been the two of us, I might have been able to tell him that I'm having a really rough day today. But my mom was there, too, and of course, they both kept talking about it, pestering me about how I needed to pick something (so I picked this damn burrito), and then pestering me more about how I need to eat it (yeah, thanks, fully aware of what you're supposed to do with food).
I've already talked to my boyfriend about how I felt ganged up on, and how the whole scene was counterproductive and only reinforced my not wanting to eat, and he understood and apologized. (He's an amazing human being and I'm so lucky to have him. I feel terrible that he's stuck with such a basket case. I've always been open with him about my eating disorder, and he's always been an incredible, supportive partner. He's my best friend, and if there's anyone in the world I would want to recover for, it's him.)
But that leaves me here. My boyfriend has gone to bed. I'm sitting on the couch by myself. The burrito has gotten cold. I'm at a loss for what to do with it.
[Rant/Rave] First diagnosis/actual treatment
/u/tiredoldyouth [5'9.25" | CW: 133 | GW: 125]
Created: Mon Feb 26 20:38:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80jav3/first_diagnosisactual_treatment/
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Today my psychologist told me flat-out for the first time "you have an eating disorder," and, "i would like you to look into intensive outpatient treatment."
I'm so scared and shocked and confused and upset. Even though I've been struggling with food for half my life, I always had the idea in the back of my mind that *I'm just a faker and don't really have a problem.*
But recently I've been forced to confront the fact that i have a problem and I just can't fix it. It makes me tired and upset and controls what i can and can't do. And i can't stop. I'm so angry at being asked to go into treatment because it feels like a waste of time.
I can't stop binge eating, and if i can't stop binge eating then i won't stop restricting either, because then I'll just get fat. So what's the point?
I'm seeing a dietician next week. If he tells me to put oil on things I'm going to flip the fuck out.
[Help] HEART HURTING = STARVATION
/u/uglydelicious
Created: Mon Feb 26 19:46:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80iysg/heart_hurting_starvation/
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My heart hurts due to a long distance relationship. I can't end it, but I obviously am not technically "in it." How can I be in it if I am not there. "In spirit" is not enough, but I am in love. It's feeding my ED so hard (needing to be skinnier each time I see him) and my alcohol addiction (needing to numb my pain). I feel like a masochist. Much like like my ED I like to hurt myself by setting myself up for fucking failure, which in turn feeds my addictions, including my ED. How do I get out of this without ending things?
[Rant/Rave] āIs he sick?ā
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7 | 121 | 18.95 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Mon Feb 26 19:31:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80iv7i/is_he_sick/
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I work at my collegeās library and a student was asking my boss (who is one of my favorite people) about me saying āis anon okay? Is he sick? Heās lost a ton of weight.ā Not feeling too good about that. Iām 2lbs away from underweight (have to update flair). My boss had me eat a cliff bar and take some vitamins because I thought I was gonna black out. I donāt mind when people point out my weight loss, itās just never in a good way. Iām far from the epitome of health. While Iām at it, anyone have any skincare tips? My face is either super dry or very greasy. I tone it and use lotion...
[Other] Iām double jointed and have tiny hands so taking those aesthetic pictures is nearly impossible :( Iām getting there tho
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 26 19:24:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80itgr/im_double_jointed_and_have_tiny_hands_so_taking/
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https://i.redd.it/ieq4522p1oi01.jpg
[Discussion] is anyone else baffled by their observations of ānormal eatersā??
/u/I-Slap-Cat-Butts [176 cm/5ā9ā | 23f]
Created: Mon Feb 26 18:21:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80ie7n/is_anyone_else_baffled_by_their_observations_of/
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it seriously blows my mind that there are people out there that donāt think about food AND ONLY FOOD constantly. what kinda shit is that?
or when people can have baked goods or really any kind of binge food in their house without thinking about it constantly
my husband can open a box of cheese-its, eat a few, then close up the box and put it away. it absolutely blows me away. i canāt even eat a single brownie without falling apart and eating the entire pan while sobbing on the bathroom floor
i aspire to one day be so unbothered by food that i can coexist in peace with it
[Help] Help: I suddenly gained 8 lbs out of nowhere?
/u/nordic_alien [167cm | 130lbs | 22 | 20lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 18:03:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80i9nc/help_i_suddenly_gained_8_lbs_out_of_nowhere/
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I drank more than usual on the weekend, but even with the drinking, I was just at maintenance or just above. I was continuing to exercise, and eating at maintenance for most of the week. I've never shot up so quickly. I'm absolutely appalled at where I ended up. I haven't weighed this much in like a year. What can I do? :( I feel like my hunger is sky rocketing like crazy and normally I am easily able to restrict between 800-1100. It's been about two weeks now where I am "stuck" at this super high number.
[Help] Getting electrolytes after purging?
/u/lbredj [5'3" | 104 | BMI 18.1 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 17:34:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80i2o1/getting_electrolytes_after_purging/
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I've been purging a lot more than usual lately and have been worried about my electrolytes. I don't have gatorade or coconut water and wanted to know if there are ways I can get more electrolytes other than sports drinks. thanks!
[Discussion] Atkins vs. MFP calorie discrepancy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 26 17:08:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80hw1s/atkins_vs_mfp_calorie_discrepancy/
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[deleted]
[Help] How to recover after a binge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 26 16:47:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80hr1n/how_to_recover_after_a_binge/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80hr1n/how_to_recover_after_a_binge/
[Rant/Rave] I forgot how tiring it is to do normal things.
/u/ponderingachange [Height 5'6 | CW81 | GW75]
Created: Mon Feb 26 16:24:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80hl4q/i_forgot_how_tiring_it_is_to_do_normal_things/
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So, I spent most of my teen years dedicating my whole life to my ED. Then I went a few years of being "normal". Now I'm right back where I was. And I forgot how stupidly exhausting it is to do something totally ordinary.
My friend asked me out for dinner tonight. Ok sure, no probs, oh shit no we can't go to that restaurant because they don't have their menu online (seriously screw restaurants that don't have an online menu). So I suggest another restaurant, then spend like four hours calculating what I can eat based on what I've already eaten today.
Like I could have a spring roll but I'd HAVE to go for a run after dinner, and what if I don't have time to go for a run, ok spring roll is out, and I have to have these noodles because they're the lowest cal, and if I have the soup it will fill me up more for lower cals. Or maybe I can just eat whatever I want then get a tub of B&Js on the way home and purge, but what if we sit around talking for too long, I won't be able to purge soon enough.
I have this scrap of paper that looks like serial killer ramblings with all these cal calculations. And I know for my friend, all she needed to do was be like 'I want to go out tonight, ok I'm gonna do it.'
[Help] How many calories would you count?
/u/rumble9
Created: Mon Feb 26 16:12:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80hi34/how_many_calories_would_you_count/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] bought a fitness tracker
/u/littlejanedoe- [5'2" |CW:127lbs | GW:115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 16:07:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80hgpq/bought_a_fitness_tracker/
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I finally bought a fitness tracker! My ED brain is in love with the idea that I can track all my expended calories for the day then use my fitnesspal to track my calories taken in. Sounds great right? Well I have been up since 6:30am at work (desk job) and have burned 200calories for the day?!?! (its 3pm now) WTF I really thought it would have been more. I am excited to see what it reads after the gym today and then my brain might be able to calm the eff down. But if I am not burning as many calories at the gym as I believe I might go into full restriction mode again. Fingers crossed
**
Also does anyone have any app suggestions for tracking food, weight.. all of the above.
[Rant/Rave] Those weight fluctuation feels
/u/toyouisay [5'7" | CW: 129 | GW 125 | UGW who tf knows | F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 15:15:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80h28m/those_weight_fluctuation_feels/
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https://i.redd.it/r08i1f56tmi01.png
Palputations and bulimia
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 26 14:41:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80gslm/palputations_and_bulimia/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80gslm/palputations_and_bulimia/
[Help] Do I weigh myself?
/u/ghost_khajiit
Created: Mon Feb 26 14:38:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80grt3/do_i_weigh_myself/
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TL;DR - I haven't weighed myself in ~5 years and I think I want to.
My eating disorder onset about 7 years ago and that's when it was its worst. For the past 5 or so years, I have been in various stages of recovery, but recently, I can't seem to foster a healthy relationship with food and my body anymore. I hate it.
I've been using measurements to track my "progress", and I always tell my nurses about my "recovery" when I have to be weighed, and they have me step on the scale backwards and don't tell me the number.
Every time I go to the gym lately, I just stare at the scale. Should I weigh myself? What if it's wrong? What if I weigh more than I think I do? Should I just keep measuring myself?
It feels like such a normal thing, but it absolutely terrifies and intrigues me and I don't know what to do. Please help, I feel like my brain is melting.
----------
EDIT: Thanks for keeping me on the right track, guys. I don't feel healthy right now, but I shouldn't set myself up for a downward spiral if I can help it. Thank you.
[Rant/Rave] Do I honor the craving?
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 14:23:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80gn7z/do_i_honor_the_craving/
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Despite the question title this is more of a rant (though feel free to comment anyway!).
I am craaaaaving peanut butter. Looking at my diet obvi I am not eating enough cals or fats, so it makes sense. I do want to finish weight restoring but peanut butter is a fear food. Sitting here at work waffling between honoring the craving, getting some pb, and actually satisfying my wants for once, or just trying to ignore it and being miserable, but guiltless.
I have pb2 but idk, not the same this time around.
UPDATE: Craving is gone, the secret? Got into a car accident on the way home! Airbag burns on my arm but otherwise fine and also not at all hungry.
UPDATE 2: By the timr I got off the phone with insurance I was ravenous and am now 400 over my tdee for today. So yay for weight restoration and booo for all this damn guilt
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else find it difficult to give support when holding stuff in?
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW 154.6lb | 20.51 | -21.4 | GW 140]
Created: Mon Feb 26 14:19:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80gm5a/anyone_else_find_it_difficult_to_give_support/
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When I'm struggling I tend to not tell anyone irl because they just don't understand and conversations about it just make me feel much worse. I just don't confide in anyone about anything irl & push my issues to the sideline. I've closed myself off since I had a really bad depressive episode last summer and no one really gave a shit/blamed me for isolating myself and being down
I know it's my decision but sometimes it makes it difficult to always be a center of support for people while I'm just pretending everything is fine. It's so easy when it's about ED stuff because I can sympathize really easily, but when it's issues I don't deal with & have to work to see things from their perspective it gets difficult.
Especially when things are really going to shit. I recently split with my SO and have been in a really bad binge/fast cycle that culminated in a 4,900 calorie binge yesterday, and I had a mental breakdown basically where I was just sobbing & screaming at the sky in my car last night
And after I got back my friend called me crying which they've done pretty frequently lately, as they have a lot going on. I just didn't call back. I'm basically a shitty person. I really hope nothing bad happened as a result. I wasn't sure if I would've been able to keep my own anger/issues from surfacing either honestly and making everything worse
The last time they called me they hung up on me in the middle of the call too (because they wanted to talk to someone irl) which just kind of makes me feel like I'm being used.
I guess I don't really care if I am. I don't really want them to be in such emotional pain. I just struggle with supporting others when I'm my own support. Idk where this post is going, I just haven't told these things to anyone
[Discussion] quitting diet soda and other vices?
/u/xjzqq
Created: Mon Feb 26 12:59:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80fy5g/quitting_diet_soda_and_other_vices/
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i drink diet soda like water. if i go a few days without drinking soda i notice itās (artificial) sweetness and drink it pretty slowly, but recently iāve been drinking soo much that it doesnāt even seem sweet to me anymore.
i also can chew like. three packs of gum in a few hours and back when i was Not Drinking Soda i could drink 5+ cups of tea (sweetened or unsweetened) or of lite spiced cider in an evening.
i have always had an āāoral fixationāā according to my parents but i hate it? even if drinking a liter of diet soda a day might not be harming me, it feels disordered/triggers rather than prevents binging.
anyways has anyone had any success in stopping soda/gum/an oral fixation + love of flavor/sweetness?? or at least consuming low/no calorie things in moderation
[Rant/Rave] Can we just take a moment to appreciate apples
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 109 | GW2: 105 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Mon Feb 26 12:42:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80fscn/can_we_just_take_a_moment_to_appreciate_apples/
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Tons of fiber, sweet, refreshing, all natural, good in both types of salad OR as a dessert, vegan, pretty, versatile, VITAMINS, cheap, fabulous through the the seasons and super low calorie.
Want to bulk up oatmeal? Add a grated apple.
~80 hot dessert? Chop n microwave one of those little gems with some cinnamon and Stevia for 3 mins.
Filling snack? Apple.
On a rice cake? Apple.
Look normal and like you can actually eat without stressing? Bowl of sliced apples.
My go to lunch to keep me going during college? two apples!!
Something sweet to stop a craving in its tracks - try two of those dried apple rings for minimal calories, super satisfying!!
God I love apples.
[Rant/Rave] Had a wake up call yesterday when my mum told me she was watching me die in front of her eyes
/u/exhaustedstudent
Created: Mon Feb 26 11:38:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80falz/had_a_wake_up_call_yesterday_when_my_mum_told_me/
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It broke my heart. I had been making my family so proud after a long period of recovery, doing so well getting my life back on track and hitting exceptional highs in terms of academic achievement, etc. Sure, my anxiety was out of this world for that time but my eating was so under control.
After the worst year of my life that just threw shit after shit at me (death, rape, bullying) I have been spiralling down and I realised Iām back in that āstuckā place I was last in 10 years ago. Iām scared Iām going to die this time since I donāt have my parents insurance cover to get IP treatment this time.
My mum seems to have resigned herself to being a carer for a dying child for however long my body can hold on, and weāre fighting all the time. Iām finding fewer and fewer things to fight for and caring less and less about what happens to me. My father has cut off contact again, as is his M.O. when it comes to any imperfection his children display, and my long time suicidal thoughts are veering into the territory of thinking perhaps it is the selfless/compassionate thing to end it so my mother and sister donāt have to bear witness to a slow death.
I can feel my body failing, slowly shutting and slowing down, and I have no idea how to push the dial back the right way all by myself.
Iām just scared and sad and disconnected from myself and the world around me.
[Other] The reason my life is a mess is due to my weight
/u/aristocat2 [172 cm | 56 kg | BMI 19 | 12 kg | 19Female]
Created: Mon Feb 26 11:27:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80f7wt/the_reason_my_life_is_a_mess_is_due_to_my_weight/
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I want to lose until I feel human again. I am not even overweight. I have a bmi of 19 but still I blame my weight for feeling sub human. Rationally, I know It is my lack of friends and hard time in school that are my actual problems. But it is so much easier to blame my weight. It is something I can change. I am in control of it. So I am in control of the situation. Not quite. But that is how I rationalise It.
[Other] Pre meal rituals/eating schedule
/u/veravera2
Created: Mon Feb 26 10:57:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80ezh5/pre_meal_ritualseating_schedule/
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So to start off this is actually my first post on here; Iāve been lurking for about a month since I found this community. I have to say, its really relieving that this space exists. Iāve been struggling with body image and disordered eating since I was 13; almost ten years now and Iāve always felt very alone. But you guys seem really nice and yet youāre keeping it real and I can appreciate that. But I hope this post is okay, I just wanted to type some of my thoughts out.
At work today I got irrationally angry with myself; for the first time in four months I took my lunch early aka the same time as everyone else (usually I try to go at 1:30 or 2 but it was only 12:30 today.) My stomach just wouldnāt stop growling and I was sick of feeling hungry.
It made me feel so guilty to be eating when I knew I could last longer; I feel really weak now that I couldnāt just mentally make it another hour. I also feel like crap because in my brain only my coworkers deserve to eat at 12:30, and me eating with them and pretending Iām good enough to earn that lunchtime makes me a fraud.
And here I am, a grown adult with a job and Iām agonizing over a 250 calorie lean cuisine just because for once I let myself eat it an hour earlier than normal. Why why why
I also refuse to let myself eat lunch until Iāve had a full water bottle and a mug of tea because āyou could just be thirstyā. And then I always use the restroom to pee after, and then I have to wait for my stomach to empty of all the fluid I just chugged which takes another 15 minutes.
Itās just weird, this balance between me overly controlling the food aspect of my life versus the eating disorder controlling my behavior. Iām not sure which version of that is real. Itās like Iām two people all the time and itās exhausting.
I donāt want to feel like I might cry just because I ate lunch at a different time, because that doesnāt matter to normal people. I donāt know why I associate being a bad person with me eating like everyone else.
[Rant/Rave] digital scales make me want to punch a wall
/u/hoarderline
Created: Mon Feb 26 10:09:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80ekve/digital_scales_make_me_want_to_punch_a_wall/
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they are hardly ever accurate, i hate the dramatic shifts in numbers.... each time (within one weighing session) the result is different. it's probably because mine is cheap, but still. i've nevr liked digital scales.
i'm just gonna stick to an old school, analog scale. no worrying about decimals and if i gained/lost half a pound. maybe weighing myself will get boring that way, and hopefully i can stop being so obsessed with weighing myself like 5x a day lol
[Other] For anyone who needs it today
/u/UnderseaK [5'7 | cw: 150lbs | bmi:23.4 | gw: 110lbs]
Created: Mon Feb 26 09:53:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80eg2t/for_anyone_who_needs_it_today/
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I just feel like some of you might need to hear this today.
No matter how hard you are struggling, no matter how dark things seem, no matter how worthless you might feel, you are still enough. You are worthy of love, of safety, of all good things. You are so strong.
Other people don't have to fight this daily battle with themselves. All those people going about their lives probably have no freaking clue how hard you fight. The fact that you have to fight to stay alive some days doesn't make you weak, it makes you strong because you are winning your fight.
You are a warrior.
You are amazing because you've made it this far. You are alive, you are worthy, and you are enough.
[Other] I was reckless with drugs this weekend but wow i have no appetite
/u/Jtgonc
Created: Mon Feb 26 09:34:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80eapt/i_was_reckless_with_drugs_this_weekend_but_wow_i/
---
I was really drunk at a party saturday night and around midnight I tried coke for the first time. Two hours later I drank molly water (i assumed the people telling me it was molly water were just fucking with me). While the results since then haven't been great (I been sleeping on an off since 1pm yesterday), I have barely had food
[Rant/Rave] Feeling out of control
/u/avocado_odacova
Created: Mon Feb 26 09:18:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80e67p/feeling_out_of_control/
---
Iāve been eating less and less over the last few months but sometimes I binge and eat everything I can get my hands on without being able to stop.
I find the feeling of not eating so addictive. I especially enjoy the feeling of hunger physically hurting me; if I had to describe hunger pangs I would say they feel like success. Recently though I havenāt felt hungry at allāthe only way I know my body wants food is a general feeling of weakness or my vision temporarily going when I stand up.
I also find eating addictive. Once I start eating it feels like I need to constantly be putting food in my mouth in order to feel calm.
Today after fasting for 40 hours I fainted in front of some of my friends. I lay down and felt better for a while. Then a few minutes later after I had been sitting up I could feel myself start to faint again so I had to break my fast with some yogurt. The yogurt seemed to fix things and I was able to go about the rest of my day without fainting. This afternoon I stuffed my face with bread (normally I wouldnāt eat bread) and then tonight I binged and ate about 5,500 calories. After eating all this food I felt sick and had to lie down for about an hour in pain from being too full.
In one day I went from feeling sick from not eating enough to feeling sick from eating too much. I donāt understand why I canāt just stick to the same amount of calories each day. Iām stuck in a cycle where restricting causes bingeing and bingeing causes restricting. It seems like I always forget what happened last time and think that fasting will make up for a binge but it always causes another one!
Sorry for this long post I just needed to get my thoughts out and put them somewhere that will make me not feel so alone. Thank you.
[Discussion] Coffee or Energy drinks?
/u/LovelleLatte
Created: Mon Feb 26 09:16:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80e5ra/coffee_or_energy_drinks/
---
how many cups of coffee do you drink a day? does it help you decreasing your appetite? so far i've only had it 1-2 times a day since i'm a bit scared to drink more than that but at the same time want to try it to see if it'll help me more. or maybe it's better to get zero calorie energy drinks instead?
what do you all think?
[Other] First digital drawing. Thereās something odd/wrong/incomplete about this so any constructive criticism is more than welcome.
/u/psydorable
Created: Mon Feb 26 08:35:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80duo5/first_digital_drawing_theres_something/
---
https://i.redd.it/hkywgrywtki01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] [rant] I know it's everyone but it feels like just me rn
/u/idontevenliketeatbh [23F 5'3" | cw.154 | ugw.100 | lost.45lbs ā ]
Created: Mon Feb 26 08:19:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80dqih/rant_i_know_its_everyone_but_it_feels_like_just/
---
I have been losing but the scale doesn't budge. I keep gaining / losing the same 5 lbs but my measurements are consistently smaller and I can see it...
In the stupidest places! Oh wow look how thin my KNEES look whilst my thighs are barely smaller and my calves are the same. Look like a damn hourglass in my legs. Woo hoo, my neck is down 1in but uhhhhh can i get some non flabby arms with that too??
Thin arm machine BROKE!
Cheek bones sharp af, look great with your double chin that's still there. Don't get me started on the stomach...
I am a freak of nature that gains weight on 1000-1200 a day
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 113.2 | 21.45 | -7 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 07:33:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80desv/i_am_a_freak_of_nature_that_gains_weight_on/
---
Today I discovered I am a freak of nature that defies physics. I have been eating 1300 calories or less for the past three weeks, and this week, I find that I have been GAINING weight rather than losing it. Yesterday I was 112.6 lb. Today I'm 113.6. I've tried laxatives, fasting, (both the normal and intermittent varieties) cutting out sodium, even having one day where I ate 200 calories above my TDEE to recalibrate my metabolism, which is apparently dead.
I'm going to have to double check my calorie logs. I must not be counting accurately. Maybe my food scale is off.
What the fuck.
I want to cry and break things. I will never be skinny by May. At this rate I'll have to give up food for 2 weeks straight to start losing. What is happening to me?? Nobody ever got fat eating a plate of broccoli and cauliflower rice for dinner every night. Until me.
Where is my hidden fatlogic? What's my ignorant flaw? Yes, I'm a sugar fiend, but I never go over 1200 calories per 24 hours. Yes, I've been working out, but it can't be muscle weight because I don't look any different, and it's only been 3 weeks.
[Help] First time fasting today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 26 07:05:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80d84o/first_time_fasting_today/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80d84o/first_time_fasting_today/
[Rant/Rave] [Rave] Cute Hilarious new app thatās way cooler than MFP to track your intake!
/u/HellAbove [5'6.5"|147.2 lbs|23.4|21F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 07:04:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80d7uz/rave_cute_hilarious_new_app_thats_way_cooler_than/
---
So is anyone familiar with CARROT apps? CARROT To do list app so I can get yelled at for being lazy..but now Iāve discovered something cooler...a CARROT app that yells at you if you eat(or not eat). So I downloaded CARROTā“. You put in your stats and what your goal is, your biggest fear, and so on. If you go over your calorie goal, CARROT turns your avatar obese! You can even change your calorie goal to your liking, although be aware! CARROT will yell at you and tell you that according to science the body needs at least 1200 calories a day. But honestly itās such a great app. Iām not too sure if itās on Android, but itās definitely on iOS and definitely worth the couple of bucks IMO.
[Rant/Rave] I think I've just made a biiiiiiig mistake (tmi)
/u/YukiHase [5'9'' | 105.8 | 15.6 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 05:44:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80cr7x/i_think_ive_just_made_a_biiiiiiig_mistake_tmi/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DAE not feel like themselves/become anhedonic when in ''anorexic'' phases? Black and white thinking? Either disconnect from reality in binge phases and be content or become obsessive and perpetually dissatisfied in anorexic phases.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 26 05:43:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80cqvo/dae_not_feel_like_themselvesbecome_anhedonic_when/
---
[deleted]
I'm 120 lbs
/u/chocolate_9_T [5"0 | 109š | 21.1 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 05:41:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80cqh8/im_120_lbs/
---
This time last year I was 103
In the space of a year I've managed to put on over 15lbs
Fml
I don't feel motivated to lose weight, I just think what's the point it's going to take ages. My lack of patience is my biggest downfall. So I just eat shit all the time
I don't know what to do. I make plans and routines but lack the discipline to stick to them. I spend more time planning stuff than actually doing them wtf
I just wish I could stay in bed all day doing nothing. Not eating
Urghh this is so shit
I Just googled my bmi and I'm fucking disgusted
[Rant/Rave] Loneliness hit a new low- drunkenly payed a few hundred dollars to hook up with an escort
/u/Rainbow9991 [5ā2 | 120 | 22 | -30 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 05:24:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80cnhq/loneliness_hit_a_new_low_drunkenly_payed_a_few/
---
I want to preface this by saying I in no way shame those who work in the sex industry, but I never thought Iād be contacting one myself...
This weekend I was home alone and indulging in a few too many drinks, feeling lonely. Iām at the age where a lot of people around me are getting engaged /married and I havenāt been in a serious relationship since 2010. My mom harps on me a lot for this and has offered to pay for dating site subscriptions, which makes me feel even worse. Itās not that I donāt particularly want to date, itās that I feel so disgusted with my body that I know no one in their right mind would legitimately want to be with me long term and that I could never comfortably be intimate with another person (one that I actually wanted to have feelings for me, anyways).
Normally Iāll just chat with randoms on Omegle or masturbate and call it a night but my drunk ass decided to scour Craigslist. I really canāt say why I didnāt just contact one of the hundreds of dudes looking for someone to hookup with rather than an escort but Iām sure (sub-consciously or otherwise) it was because I felt I would be a complete disappointment to someone unless I was literally paying for them to sleep with me. Itās nothing Iāve ever done before (and thankfully the sex was actually good since I knew Iād never see him again and therefore had little inhibitions) but it made me realize what a fucked up mindset Iām in. It also made me realize how much I miss being so close to another human being. Iāve struggled with my eating habits since high school (Iām currently in my mid-20ās) and itās so damn frustrating feeling like Iām going to be this sad, (romantically) lonely person for the rest of my life because I hate myself so much. Does anyone else feel this way? Iāve been thinking about therapy but Iām not sure it could actually do any good?
Iām sorry for the rant but this isnāt something I could ever disclose to my friends or family and after lurking here for a number of months I appreciate what a supportive sub this is.
Edit- I realize I made a spelling error in the title... *paid. Apologizes for my dumb brain.
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! February 26, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 26 05:15:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80clrb/weekly_stats_update_february_26_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for February 26, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 26, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 26 05:14:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80clqg/daily_food_diary_february_26_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 26, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] February 26th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 05:13:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80clgu/february_26th_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
Whatās one thing you canāt throw out?
[Rant/Rave] Just had the biggest fucking scare of my life. Iām done waisting my life here
/u/ExpressPension
Created: Mon Feb 26 05:09:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80ckkz/just_had_the_biggest_fucking_scare_of_my_life_im/
---
Was just informed my tests for HIV came out inconclusive, had to go in and do an instant test and I will need to go back in two weeks for a blood sample. Iāve never been so scared in my life. Iāve never felt so helpless. After todayās test came back negative I canāt keep doing this to myself. I realized life is so short. For 3 hours I was convinced I had HIV and my thoughts spiraled, I was sure of suicide. Iāve now come to the conclusion I will no longer live like this. If I am to die fat or skinny what I did in between now and then, wonāt matter what I looked like or what my weight is. Iāll be dead either way. Only difference is, did I spend my days living life or living for food. Iāll probably still struggle with food, but I wonāt be here feeding of the toxins. Good luck and may you all come to the same conclusion without needing HIV or any other life threatening or changing events. Pro eating disorder is a fucking joke and we all know it.
[Rant/Rave] fucking. perfect.
/u/FRITTATA_FREAK
Created: Mon Feb 26 04:14:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80cb2k/fucking_perfect/
---
overachievers who floundered after high school, you know her.
you probably have one of her in your lives even if it isnāt her exactly.
she gets over a hundred likes on a mere inspirational quote while youāre struggling to reach fifty for a picture of yourself you actually enjoy for once.
you just know she probably keeps a manicured bullet journal while you have cluttered notes written in chicken scratch.
she got all the positions and accolades on campus you applied for, but you failed to get. even when you do get them, just being in the same room as her makes you feel you didnāt deserve it.
she is living the dreams you gave up a long time ago due to your mental health treatment center visits.
she maintained a long term relationship with a seemingly just as perfect guy while you fucked around on tinder with losers who only are good for dick.
but most of all...
sheās thin.
all of the alcohol and weed munchies went to your stomach and face. so much for coping mechanisms.
you spent too much time in bed in the past. the depression was too much, but youāve ~recovered~.
you order the nasty black coffee at starbucks to pretend your too busy being a ~boss~ in your classes and organizations to grab a meal with friends but really thatās your lunch.
you pretend to stay focused in meetings when everyone else is taking snack breaks. in reality, the noise of hunger drowns out everyone.
you have a strict gym schedule that is the envy of your friends.
your friends joke that youāre afraid of calories when you refuse free food, but they think thereās nothing wrong with you.
you may even be seen as an overachiever still,
but when you look at her,
you know nothing will ever be enough.
[Help] Relationship advice
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 03:28:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80c3m4/relationship_advice/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Well done, me. I managed to have a breakdown and an anxiety attack from this
/u/waitupana [15M | 147cm (4'10)]
Created: Mon Feb 26 02:34:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80buo0/well_done_me_i_managed_to_have_a_breakdown_and_an/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proed/comments/809lub
[Rant/Rave] I binged so much today.
/u/AntonLaVeyIsMyJesus
Created: Mon Feb 26 01:50:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80bn6g/i_binged_so_much_today/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] what are you guys most thankful for in your day to day lives ???
/u/XXXena_moon [5'3 | CW: 170.2 lbs | GW: 150 lbs | UGW: 125 lbs | NB]
Created: Mon Feb 26 01:46:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80bmoa/what_are_you_guys_most_thankful_for_in_your_day/
---
going on hour 65 of a liquid fast and i'm kinda dreading having to weigh in in the morning so i'm trying to just think ~positive~ and i came up with a list of stuff that i'm thankful for that somewhat carries me through my ed/bipolar disorder/gender dysphoria and i wanted to hear some things that y'all really appreciate that help you get by every day :)
here's my list:
- bouillon cubes
- oversized "men's" clothes (gender is fake wear what u want fuck the binary lol)
- a giant glass of water with ice and a straw
- eca stacks
- mukbang/calorie challenge & buzzfeed tasty videos
- those new flavored diet cokes omfg GINGER LIME FUCK ME UP !!!
- taking long walks when it's nice out
- hellofresh boxes
- chest binders
- lean cuisine lmao @ my lazy ass
- adding nice things to my rewards wishlist for when i hit certain goals (ayeee come thru motivation !!!)
- gym memberships for under $20/month
- red velvet halo top
- busy schedules
- ripping a fat ass dab before passing out on an empty stomach after a long, successful day of not eating
- spending time alone
.....and uhhh yeah, that's pretty much it !
i hope you guys all have a great week and take care of yourselves as best as you can. i'll try to do the same :)
[Discussion] Whatās recovery?
/u/booger-burger69 [5'3 | CW: 117lbs | UGW 100lbs | -18lbs | 21F]
Created: Mon Feb 26 00:49:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80bcvq/whats_recovery/
---
I keep telling myself Iām in ārecoveryā even though I still count and obsess over calories, chew and spit, and skip meals. Iām not fasting for days, chewing and spitting every meal, or having real binges so I consider that as my normal ārecoveryā mode. But today I worked an 11-hour straight through shift so I had to eat a burger just to keep my energy up, and then after work I wanted to celebrate with a huge dessert and ate almost all of it before feeling sick to my stomach. Despite my calorie intake probably being about average for someone my age, and despite the fact that Iāve been in recovery mode for about a month now, I still feel disgusting and fat and out of control. Am I recovering? How do you know whatās ārecoveringā and whatās āstill bad but not as bad as it can beā?
[Rant/Rave] Bulimia - I don't want to recover/I'm not ready ???
/u/eyafrarri [5'6 | HW:160 | CW: 136| GW: 120| F/21]
Created: Sun Feb 25 23:37:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80azko/bulimia_i_dont_want_to_recoverim_not_ready/
---
I live with my parents and they just interventioned me haaaaaaaaaard. I knew that they knew I'd been b/ping since my mum confronted me about it 2 weeks ago. She had only found out then and I just wish I could have been way more careful about it for her not to find out, I hate worrying people and making them upset. I'm being essentially forced to start some sort of therapy and I just don't know how it's gonna work if I'm not really ready to stop/can't stop? I've tried on and off to recover and the longest I went without b/ping was just over a week over the course of 3 months. fuck I don't know I just need to vent I guess this is like hellllllllllllllll.
[Rant/Rave] I got over my plateau!
/u/PM-ME-ROAST-BEEF [168cm | CW š³ | GW 65kg | F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 23:03:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80at9r/i_got_over_my_plateau/
---
So Iāve been sitting at 99-98kg for about two or three weeks now mostly due to my constant binge cycle but today I stepped on the scale and Iām 97.7kg! I havenāt been this light in literal years now.
Well EDNOS, youāve had your grip on me for 5 years, but I donāt mind you too much today.
[Help] When should my ugw be expected?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 25 22:57:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80as8c/when_should_my_ugw_be_expected/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80as8c/when_should_my_ugw_be_expected/
[Rant/Rave] This is killing me and I just can't do it anymore
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'9 | 124 | 17.9 | 21]
Created: Sun Feb 25 22:37:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80ao96/this_is_killing_me_and_i_just_cant_do_it_anymore/
---
I haven't posted in a while and this isn't necessarily eating related but I'm pretty drunk and need to get this off my chest. This might get hella long but I'm just very unhappy right now and I really have to vent I'm sorry. This is probably gonna get way too long so don't feel like you have to read the whole thing. This pity party might take all night. Welcome to the shit show.
All my life, I've felt like I wasn't like other people. I don't know why, I just see happy people living normal lives and feel like that's not me and will never be. And I feel so shitty for feeling like this because I know there are people with real problems and mine aren't those. My parents pay for my luxury car and my nice apartment and my school and all of my shit. I'm not in debt up to my ass like so many people my age. I have a huge closet full of nice, clean clothes. I've never been sick or overweight. I've never spent a day without anything I actually need to live or even live comfortably. Iām not saying any of this to brag, I know itās nothing Iāve personally done. But like just to illustrate, one of my friends got an iPhoneX on Wednesday and I decided I wanted one so I went to the apple store after class and bought one and then texted my mom and let her know sheād see it on the Amex bill. I honestly felt gross buying it because I didnāt at all need a new phone and itās just an obscene amount of money for something that can essentially do the same thing that a $200 phone can do. Or like over Christmas break I decided I wanted a different car even though I only had my old one for like a year so I mentioned it to my dad and 3 days later he told me to come meet him at his office during lunch and we could go to the dealership and check them out. *I know that Iām blessed beyond belief in this life and that just makes this all that much worse.* I have no reason at all to feel this way. But still, for whatever reason, I don't feel like I'm worth as much as other people, if that makes sense. Like today, I went to target to buy some stuff to redecorate my apartment and it was packed and there were people my age everywhere and I just wanted to not be there so nobody would see me.
I don't really have any idea if Iām even attractive or not. People have told me I am, Iāve been with some absolutely beautiful people, sometimes I look in the mirror and am really happy with what I see, but most of the time I feel mediocre at best. I spend an obscene amount of money on hair and skin products and clothes and I dont leave the house if I dont look my best. I haven't broken out in since junior year of high school. I was late to class last week because I didn't like how my hair turned out after I did it so I showered and washed my hair again so I could start from scratch. Then I tried on 10 different outfits because nothing looked good enough. So I smoke, and I drink a lot, and I take whatever pills I can get my hands on. I'm not like a drug addict or an alcoholic. I can get done what needs to get done. Iām in a tough major and I have a 4.0 at one of the top schools for my major. It's usually only at nights that I feel this bad. If I'm busy during the day I'm usually okay.
And I haven't even been sleeping lately. I either fall asleep relatively quickly and then wake up at 4 am to a horrible nightmare and can't fall back asleep or I can't fall asleep until 4am. I'm fucking exhausted all the time I feel like I'm about to explode. I literally pulled 2 allnighters in 3 days working on a project last week and when I finally finished and presented it, I was so exhausted that I went home and got in bed at like 7pm but I couldnāt fall asleep until 4am because I was stressing about somebody I have a crush on. My anxiety is through the roof right now and I swear it's because I'm not sleeping well.
And the other shitty thing is that I literally can't talk to anyone about this. All of my friends think I'm the most outgoing, happy person they know because at parties and bars and stuff, I can be - but only if I'm not sober. And I'm rarely sober in social situations. It's honestly even like a punchline at social events in my circle. If I'm not intoxicated, people notice. I didnāt get fucked up at a party last night and people Iāve only met a few times before were like ādamn looks whos actually relatively sober tonight.ā And I don't want to be that lovable shitshow either but that's what I feel like I am to my friends. That friend who's off radar during dinner because Iām guzzling coffee and juul trying not to eat, shows up and gets drunk within 15 minutes and gets into cute drunk adventures and wants to stay out until the sun comes up. I feel like that's not really me but honestly, I don't even know who I am at this point. The overwhelming majority people who think they know me like me a lot. Because in middle school and early high school I was weird and awkward and so finally later in high school I figured out how to fit a mold that makes me a highly likable person. My best friends love me to death and I hate that I canāt show them who I really am because they deserve it with all of the shit they already put up with from me. I just don't feel like if anybody really saw me that they'd still like me because I don't feel like I really have anything to offer anyone that they couldn't get easily get +more from almost anyone else. Like I'm pretty good at my major (good enough for some people in my program to be jealous of my work) but that's literally it. I've played piano for years and I've been mediocre at it, same with guitar, I like to sing but only in private. I can't talk to people I'm not comfortable around. I've never had a real relationship because I've never let myself get to that point with anyone and I'm not delusional-its all my fault. I was talking to an amazing person a few months ago and they really wanted a relationship and so did I but I got scared so I just started doing shit I knew they wouldnāt like so theyād leave. I'm afraid if I let someone in like that they'll realize who I am and say fuck it and leave. So I just push people away. And even if I could change that, at this point I have no idea what to do after the first few dates and like I'm 21, people just expect you to know how this shit works by this point. I'm afraid I'll die alone, and I'm afraid as soon as this little bubble called college ends I'll be fucked because I don't think I'm capable of making new friends and starting from scratch all over again. I don't even know how to make friends. I have a pretty big social circle right now but I seriously just fell into it. Sex just makes me feel more broken and confused.
The weather has been nice as hell lately so I took my friend group to my parentās lake house last a few hours away weekend to chill and get some sun and I made a comment about needing to drink less because I'm getting fat and everyone told me to shut up and that I needed to eat more and that I looked anorexic. But it's true in September I had abs and now after a bout of walking pneumonia and drinking a lot more the past few months I'm like skinny-flabby. I'm soft and it doesnt look good. At least not on me. And one of them said "How do you possibly even think that? You don't even eat when we go out. You get like a salad and pick at if for a while and then say you're full when everyone else is done eating." But I don't think I'm that bad. Like *I know that some people here are actually very sick and I don't want to take anything away from them.* I have a low BMI and don't eat as much as other people but my hair isn't falling out and I'm not fainting. Most of the time I feel like I'm fine. I mean I know I don't have the healthiest attitude towards eating and that's why I'm here. It feels relatable. But I just don't eat because if I do, I gain weight. I can't maintain weight. I either start to lose weight and people start telling me I'm too skinny, or I eat a little more and exercise a little less so that people won't tell me that and I start to gain weight. I'm 126 right now but I'll probably either be at 120 or 135 by summer and I don't understand why.
I want my abs back and I want people to stop telling me I should eat more and I want to feel like I fit in with the world and am worthy of everything it has to offer. Because I feel like it can be a great place - for some people. And I feel like it should be for me, I have everything most people could ever want material wise and friend wise and family wise too. And I want to feel like my friends actually care about me, and aren't just entertained by me. And I've been to so many different therapists but I have a really hard time opening up to anyone in person, even my favorite therapists I've had, and so I have a hard time vocalizing what I'm actually struggling with, and half the time I can't even remember what Im upset about when I'm there so they think I'm fine. It's like I'm so used to acting like everything is perfect that I can't even be honest with a doctor.
I guess I'm done because my computer is about to die and my charger in my car and my hands hurt and I don't want to waste any more of anybodyās time
[Discussion] Low Calorie Foods at Trader Joeās?
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Sun Feb 25 22:25:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80am14/low_calorie_foods_at_trader_joes/
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Iāve been eating like absolute crap so this week Iām the one doing groceries. Anything you guys can recommend? Breakfast, lunch, dinner or snacks? Any recipes that you guys like to make?
Any meals/recipes out there that are 250 calories (maybe 300) or less?
Or snacks that are 200 calories or less?
Thanks guys, Iāve been feeling fat since Iāve been eating out. This week is dedicated to staying under 1000 calories or less. I need to be in control of what I eat and not binge.
[Tip] I plank while chewing gum to make Barney the Binge Monster go away. At 4 minutes now.
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Sun Feb 25 21:37:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80acd4/i_plank_while_chewing_gum_to_make_barney_the/
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I think I may Have an Eating Disorder.
/u/SmartIguess
Created: Sun Feb 25 21:35:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80abt5/i_think_i_may_have_an_eating_disorder/
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Okay. Ive been thinking on this for awhile and Ive really needed to tell someone. I think I may have an eating disorder. Like, I eat sometimes, yes. But I have a way of telling myself im completely fine and truely believeing it although I'm not. So Ive always had body image problems. Always, even when I weighed 75 pounds. But when puberty hit and I started to gain weight I truely started to feel like shit about myself. I know weigh 107 pounds and I've found myself skipping meals. Like I eat food once a day, and even then its like nothing. I have a very small appetite. And for awhile I thought I didn't eat because of that. But now Im not so sure. I feel full all of the time if Im being honest, which gives me a reason not to eat. But sometimes I feel really light-headed, like I'll faint.
Im thinking about having a food journal to make sure I eat enough? Please be nice.
[Rant/Rave] 400 kcal butter in one meal
/u/Gnarlyjtw
Created: Sun Feb 25 21:16:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80a803/400_kcal_butter_in_one_meal/
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I can't eat with my father anymore. His insistence on adding hundreds of calories in butter and oil to every meal is driving me up the wall. I love cooking with him and I truly enjoy the food we make, and I want to continue eating with him, I really do. If I did, however, I'd be 30 pounds heavier.
Im trying really hard to eat more, but it's still painful to see more than 1000+ kcal on mfp even though I know that's still restricting.
I can protest to the amount he adds but he just ignores me, says "fat is not the enemy", or tries to slip it in behind my back.
Tonight he added a whole stick of butter to pasta meant to be split two ways. 100 kcal per tablespoon. That's 400 calories just from butter per meal. I'd expect the whole meal to be over 1000 itself with everything he adds.
I'm just so upset because I wanted to eat with him but now it's garbage to me. I can't force myself to eat that without feeling like the world's biggest piece of shit...
I guess I'll make something else.
[Rant/Rave] If I binge one more time I'm going to kill myself. TW: Suicide.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 25 21:00:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80a4mp/if_i_binge_one_more_time_im_going_to_kill_myself/
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[deleted]
[Help] Bulimia and heavy periods?
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 173.6 | HW 197 | LW 122 | 30F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 20:35:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/809zfv/bulimia_and_heavy_periods/
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Let me preface this by saying I do have a gyno appointment in a few weeks so I will bring up these questions there.
My period has always been weird. I could go months without it and that was when I wasn't in a full blown ED. I got mirena 2 years ago and after a year my period got really light and lasted two days. Now I keep bleeding through tampons and having accidents at work. It's so embarrassing. My PCP checked my strings and my IUD is in its place. Someone told me today that purging can effect your period but I thought that was only when you got too thin? Is it possible to fuck up your hormones badly enough to change your period from just throwing up?
Today was my last day of binging
/u/dwaiiiii [5'3" | 118 | UGW: 95 | -7lbs | 20F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 20:22:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/809wvh/today_was_my_last_day_of_binging/
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I'm posting this so I can make this seem more official (for myself). I'm so tired of this cycle of binging and restricting. My body is tired from the pain of overeating and it doesn't deserve this. No more of this immense self-hatred after binging. I will no longer be filled with guilt because of my binging. The "screw it, I already messed up" thought will never go through my mind again. I'm done and I'm never going back.
**THINGS I MUST REMEMBER**
* I must remember that for every step I take toward my UGW, binging makes me take 2 steps back.
* I really, *really* want to reach my UGW. I want to see what I look like with a dream body I never had. Binging prevents me from attaining that body.
* Binging is wasting money...I'm a uni student who's working 2 jobs rn..can't afford to binge lol
* The more I stop binging, the less of a urge it becomes, making it easier to permanently stop
* I hate the feeling of hating myself. Binging makes me hate myself. So why would you want to do something that makes you feel horrible?
* It's okay to eat normally. Stopping binge eating doesn't mean I'll never eat yummy food again. It just means I'll eat them in an appropriate amount and when I'm *actually* hungry, making it taste that much more delicious.
If anyone is with me in stopping their binge eating habit, please comment below and add something to my list! Or if you have any advice, I would be so grateful to read them!!
sunday, feb 25, 2018
10:22 pm
Looking for an ana buddy
/u/saraaah19
Created: Sun Feb 25 20:15:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/809vbg/looking_for_an_ana_buddy/
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[removed]
[Other] Well okay...
/u/bannaberry
Created: Sun Feb 25 20:05:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/809t4o/well_okay/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Was going to allow 2,000 controlled calories today to avoid bingeing and staying mindful of restricting all week and weekend. I failed....and I hate myself.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sun Feb 25 19:41:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/809nx1/was_going_to_allow_2000_controlled_calories_today/
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As the title says I was allowing myself 2,000 calories today. To reward myself and also to stop myself from bingeing this week.
Had a small breakfast cereal and some fruit.
Saved room for a Chipotle Veggie Burrito Bowl which is 705cals but I asked for small amounts so I am guessing 600ish.
Then I got some WaWa moose tracks ice cream. The whole pint came to 760. I wanted to stop eating it because I honestly was not even enjoying it. I just ate it because I allowed it today.
Fuck that shit! I purged up that whole pint until I hit the chipotle, well because spicy and it actually was pretty nutritious veggies, beans, rice, hot salsa, and little corn and a little guac.
So here I am proud that I got rid of all that ice cream and very quickly, It was out after 5 mins of consumption. I hope I didn't retain many of those calories for something I ate just because I "planned" it.
Ugghhhhhh, Now I want to make fresh waffles but I am too lazy and tired. But they sound so good!!!
[Rant/Rave] i give up
/u/waitupana [15M | 147cm (4'10)]
Created: Sun Feb 25 19:31:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/809lub/i_give_up/
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ah fuck
went to therapy for first time
and mum was there so i said basically nothing so
now they think im normalTM
they literally cancelled all future meetings
[Rant/Rave] Finally got validation but now I just feel empty
/u/thinkthinlythrowaway [5'1.5 on a good day | CW 129.0 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 19:28:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/809l7a/finally_got_validation_but_now_i_just_feel_empty/
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I've been going to therapy for the last 2 months for anxiety. I get 6 visits free so I figured might as well. This has helped me with getting a prescription for my anxiety and pointing me into the right places. As well as validating my toxic relationship with an alcoholic mother.
While we were talking about alcoholics my therapist brought up the sign of broken promises to self. (We were discussing if I thought I could be an alcoholic (spoiler alert I'm not) and so talking about that)
I brought up that I keep promises easy when it comes to alcohol... but not with food.
I listed my recovery hopes and my eating rules as some examples. And she kinda gave me the whole well we know size isn't health bullshit I've heard everywhere. That was until I brought up the fact that there are arguments with my boyfriend about food. Because I want to eat I just can't. I have a fear of food which I find hilarious because food is life. And with that it clicked in her head. And she was like well it sounds like you have an eating disorder or are playing close to one (finally someone with authority acknowledges this). But she also mentioned it was above her knowledge. That besides her own person experiences she could just refer me to get an evaluation done.
This is fine. I'm okay with that because if she sees it then others will. (Lol maybe who know maybe she just saw it cause she knows me or maybe I put on a great show idk š)
But now it's like cool I finally got what I thought I wanted. A therapist/doctor person of some kind to give me some validation (I also should mention she doesn't like labeling people since labels change and all that bullshit (I do really like her but I also like labels I'm sorry I'm a horrible person), but now I don't know what to do with it. It's not like it changed what I thought it would. I don't feel compelled to recover or try to recover.
I feel like everything was pointless. Like it's all pointless....
WOW okay cool for you for listening to this word vomit
I love you all. I hope everyone Sunday ends great and Monday starts even better ā¤ļø
[Help] burning as much/more than you eat?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | "maintaining" | 22f]
Created: Sun Feb 25 19:18:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/809iwo/burning_as_muchmore_than_you_eat/
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a Dumb Question because i'm a Dumb Idiot but anyways
if you're restricting really low and burning more than (or as much as) you eat, what happens? i guess according to the laws of physics you'd drop weight super fast, right? i remember the last time i was a huge workout fanatic, i didn't really notice; i was also really underweight so my tdee was probably pretty low. all my gym freaks who also restrict v low, what's your experience with this?
[Other] Took a long, hot shower instead of purging my dinner
/u/counting-the-seconds [5'8" | 138lbs | 20.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 18:54:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/809dqv/took_a_long_hot_shower_instead_of_purging_my/
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It's the little things that you have to be proud of, right?
[Rant/Rave] DAE binge on things they know will make them sick?
/u/OscarTehOctopus [5'2 | 105lb | 19.8 | 30lb | F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 18:36:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8099le/dae_binge_on_things_they_know_will_make_them_sick/
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Major TMI incoming:
So maintenance has slowly degraded into binging, shocker. Except I'm binging on a lot of really high fat things. I have an undiagnosed (cause I'm a cheap skate) stomach issue that means if I eat too much fatty foods I'll a)spit up oil constantly, b) vomit out everything, and/or c) have really oily and loose BMs. The more frequently I eat things that make me sick, the less oil I can tolerate.
It's actually pretty easy for me to avoid this issue by not eating like idiot, and I've been basically fine for over a year. Until the past 2 weeks. I'm so mad at myself.
Also when I bitched about it to my husband he said "Well eat healthier then, but don't not eat. You can't just either not eat or eat junk that makes you sick." I feel so called out lol.
i just tried to cut the fat off my body with scissors
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 25 18:23:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8096uh/i_just_tried_to_cut_the_fat_off_my_body_with/
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[deleted]
[Goal] I have 4 months to lose 60lbs.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 25 18:04:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8092m0/i_have_4_months_to_lose_60lbs/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] A positive thought I want to share
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sun Feb 25 18:00:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8091ut/a_positive_thought_i_want_to_share/
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Idk if this will be helpful or why I want to share it but letās see if I can make it make sense.
Lately I have been trying to change my thoughts on bingeing and think of it more as how normal people eat when they arenāt hungry/snack/eat for pleasure etc- and itās no big deal to them, so why should I make myself feel horrible about it?
So last night my bf made me dinner (after I had fasted 40 hours). Then we went and bought beer and some snacks bc we looooove getting high, watching shows and eating snacks.
So thatās what we did- and hold crap I ate soooo much. Half a bag of Reeseās dipped pretzels, half a bag of cheddar sour cream ruffles, a Lindt truffle, half a snickers hazelnut, some nutter butters and a bunch of cheezits.
Of course I feel like I over ate- but he ate all of the same stuff I did and in the same amounts!! (Why most of it is half) and of course he is bigger so he can afford to eat more, but he also eats during the day when we arenāt together and I donāt usually until we hang out.
So basically I am reaffirming to myself that I have no reason to feel bad about eating so much when normal people do it too.
[Discussion] DAE live in los angeles and feel like thereās way more pressure to look/be perfect here than anywhere else?
/u/hollyhock_MMGRZHFM
Created: Sun Feb 25 17:46:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808yr8/dae_live_in_los_angeles_and_feel_like_theres_way/
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I just got back into town after going to the midwest, and it feels like as soon as I get into LA, Iām bombarded with perfect looking, incredibly ambitious people (literally as I step off the plane at LAX). In the midwest, the pressure to look a certain way is so much less. I feel a lot more comfortable in my skin there than I do here in LA. Does anyone else know what I mean?
[Rant/Rave] āyour ribs donāt stick out as much as before!ā
/u/HeartSecret
Created: Sun Feb 25 17:42:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808xr8/your_ribs_dont_stick_out_as_much_as_before/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] normal people mistakes or am I just fatttt
/u/slimmer_lite [5'5" | 125 | 21.5 | GW: 118 | UGW: 110]
Created: Sun Feb 25 17:39:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808x41/normal_people_mistakes_or_am_i_just_fatttt/
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Okay so I'll preface this by saying that my SO is very sweet and good to me most all of the time but got damn if that boy ain't clueless as all hell.
I've been sick for about a week and taking cold medicine stacked with ibuprofen because i STILL have to go to work regardless. His parents are doctors so anyway a couple days ago I asked him about the dosages I would be taking. He straight up looked me in the eye and said "what, you weigh 140 or 150 pounds? You should be good to take two more ibuprofen in an hour." ............I weigh 120 pounds (haven't updated flair in a while... mobile). And now I'm freaking out a little bit about whether or not I look like I weigh 20-30 lbs more than I actually do. I didn't even know how to react... just awkwardly said "ok." This is from a dude who regularly sees me naked - we've been living together for two months. I don't have super noticeable ED behaviours around him, especially since when I work I don't eat all day there. I'm also pretty physically active -- run or cycle every day -- so I feel like I'm in p good shape at 5'5' and 120 lbs?? Idk tho... like I said, this guys parents are doctors? I feel like he should know better??? Gaaaaawd I wish I could stop overthinking thissss it all just sucks. I've been super self conscious about my body around him since. ā¹ļøā¹ļøā¹ļø
[Rant/Rave] binged today
/u/fragilmountain [5'7 | 238 | 36 | GW: 110]
Created: Sun Feb 25 17:27:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808ua2/binged_today/
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itās doubly disappointing because i had already planned food for today. it was going to be 288 cal and hopefully restart my restriction. but then my mama wanted to go out to eat for lunch, which spiraled everything out of control.
lunch was a bacon turkey sandwich and broccoli cheddar soup from panera bread, and half a bear claw. plus some of a baguette, which made it 990 for one meal.
and then everyone wanted pizza for dinner. itās so stupid because i wasnāt even hungry. i think my problem is that when i get offered the opportunity to eat iāll go for it no matter what.
so dinner was 1120. todayās total was 2156.
2,156 calories.
and i feel stuffed. and gross. and greasy.
and filled to the brim with self hatred.
i used to be so good with restricting. over the summer i lost 19 pounds in two months. and now iāve gained it all back.
what iām going to do now is actually get my ass into gear and start restriction over. usually i say this and then give up within a week. not this time. i need to lose this weight, and fast.
iāll restrict during the week and fast on weekends. this needs to happen.
anyways, there really was no point to this. it just feels really good to ramble.
[Other] When your family/friends try to make you eat
/u/hypothermia_veins
Created: Sun Feb 25 17:23:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808taz/when_your_familyfriends_try_to_make_you_eat/
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https://i.redd.it/hc5xcae4bgi01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Being complimented on my weight just makes me want to keep restricting.
/u/LumosErin [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | GW:115-120 | 20F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 17:16:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808ru9/being_complimented_on_my_weight_just_makes_me/
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I don't know what to do anymore. Info about me: I'm anorexic and have been struggling with it on and off for about six years. It's really come to a head right now as I'm in my second (technically third by credit) year of college and have really been shedding weight. End of August 2017 I was 155 lbs and my weigh-in this morning was 138 lbs.
This past weekend, I went home to Austin (4 hours from school) with a friend from high school and comments about my weight loss have been flying at me left and right. My dad told me this morning and on Friday that he's noticed how much I lost and just this morning my friend's mother took one look at me and said "You've definitely gotten taller and thinner since I last saw you!"
All of these comments are just inspiration for me to push harder and keep restricting so I reach my goal weight. I love the compliments as much as the next guy, because yes I do look great. I feel happier about my body now than I ever did in high school. But I've been trying harder than ever to beat this monster and I'm losing all my willpower. I hate that I've been cursed with this disease, I'm sick of it.
[Other] ED things: eating literal trash
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 17:13:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808r4j/ed_things_eating_literal_trash/
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https://i.redd.it/o8aqerd39gi01.png
[Help] I really need someone to talk to, possibly someone with recovery experience but itās not necessary
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sun Feb 25 16:58:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808ngj/i_really_need_someone_to_talk_to_possibly_someone/
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Iām kind of spiraling mentally and I need someone to talk to who understands and can hopefully make me feel like things arenāt as bad as I think they are.
Iāve been super depressed lately and my weight has been the same/gone up slightly since December.
I have been steadily fasting+bingeing and I canāt tell if Iām ok with it or not. I canāt tell if I am getting better or falling off the rails and letting myself go.
Honestly I need someone to tell me that Iām still skinny even if I eat or even tho my boyfriend told me Iām starting to look healthy from eating more.
I just have so many thoughts and my mind is constantly going back and forth and Iām just so sad.
[Help] What happens if you faint in school?
/u/hypothermia_veins
Created: Sun Feb 25 16:56:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808mwe/what_happens_if_you_faint_in_school/
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[removed]
[Help] Ketosis?
/u/bloomoonxx [5"8 | BMI: 19 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 16:30:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808h29/ketosis/
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i have done some research and people are always talking about how good it is. if anyone has ever tried it how much weight have you lost?
[Rant/Rave] Ah, the shit I say when Iām plastered
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 16:25:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808fp2/ah_the_shit_i_say_when_im_plastered/
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Last night I got near-blackout drunk and said some...interesting things. I sent my girlfriend a link to this sub (specifically, the thread from yesterday about how significant others can support us) which is. A lot. And then I also told my roommate that I used to weigh 95 lbs and moaned about how I no longer weigh that and she looked a little more than freaked out.
If someone could just glue my face hole shut, thatād be swell.
[Discussion] DAE avoid dating like the plague?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 25 16:24:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808fbo/dae_avoid_dating_like_the_plague/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] What a nice feeling
/u/m_inimal
Created: Sun Feb 25 16:23:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808f0c/what_a_nice_feeling/
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Just a little thing that happened today ā I was using the bathroom at work and when I washed my hands, I glanced at my face in the mirror. My first thought was āWow, why does my hair look so weird?ā But then I looked closer and realize it just looked a little off because MY FACE IS GETTING THINNER.
Iāve felt warm and fuzzy from that all day šš¼
[Rant/Rave] RIP my throat
/u/PainlessMe [17F | 1.75 | CW: 61.1 | GW: 50 | SW: 70.1]
Created: Sun Feb 25 16:15:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808d7c/rip_my_throat/
---
So my throat is honestly so fucked. Iāve been kinda sick since wednesday, with a blocked nose, sore throat and ears. So my genius ass decides to purge on thursday and it made it so much worse :((. When I woke up on friday I cried because it hurt so much to swallow, and I could barely talk all day. And then saturday was okay but today I went snowboarding (Iām on holiday) and it hurts so much again that I want to rip my neck off.
Positive sides of today:
1. Snowboarding burns quite some calories
2. Having a sore throat can be used as an excuse for not eating bc fuck it hurts
Advice please
/u/Bowie1975 [168cm | 135 | 21.6 | Not Enough | Male |]
Created: Sun Feb 25 16:13:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/808cmv/advice_please/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Purged for the first time, not sure how to feel
/u/louloulouise
Created: Sun Feb 25 16:03:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8089yk/purged_for_the_first_time_not_sure_how_to_feel/
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I purged for the first time after always restricting heavily. I had some pizza after a fast and had a panic attack when I logged the calories.
On one hand Iām kinda horrified because I feel like Iāve crossed a line that I canāt un-cross and that Iām just allowing my disorder to run my life.
On the other hand, Iām so fucking proud of myself. I was strong/in control enough to do what had to be done. So Iām also kinda bragging.
Do other people feel this way?
EDIT: First of all, all of your comments are so nice and make me feel really cared about. I really appreciate everyoneās comments.
Just to clarify so that I donāt worry anybody: I donāt intend to purge again. I know that my pride comes from a twisted sick place inside of me that I really shouldnāt listen to. The logical part of me is terrified Iāll lose control during another panic attack and do it again. I really donāt want to do it again.
Listening to you guys helped me not listen to the little voice that says āthis is good.ā Thank you.
Thanks for the support. Lots of love - Lou
[Discussion] Does anyone use diet pills?
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7 | 121 | 18.95 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Sun Feb 25 15:51:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8086qa/does_anyone_use_diet_pills/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] JUST BINGEd IN THE SAME ROOM AS ROOMATE (1694 cals)
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Sun Feb 25 15:11:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/807x2f/just_binged_in_the_same_room_as_roomate_1694_cals/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE wish that it wasnāt such a big deal to have an ED, that you could rant to a friend about it without them freaking out on you? Thatās the one thing Iāve always hated about this illness is how isolating it is.
/u/ImNotaTreeImaShrub [5'5" CW:181lbs (-14lbs) | GW 130 lbs | LW/UGW 115lbs | 32F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 14:53:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/807sc8/dae_wish_that_it_wasnt_such_a_big_deal_to_have_an/
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[Discussion] Anyone else go thru phases?? How do i make it stop?
/u/InterestingPiano
Created: Sun Feb 25 14:41:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/807pfo/anyone_else_go_thru_phases_how_do_i_make_it_stop/
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Iāll have a few weeks where the thought of food disgusts me and Iāll track everything that goes in my mouth...i have a pocket scale that i take with me everywhere ājust in caseā i have to eat something other than my preplanned snacks/meals. Itāll take me over an hour to eat 100g of cherries and i can spread out 12 almonds to last me the whole workday. This is also when i feel my most productive and most like myself...organized, timely, put-together. I show up to work an hour early and i keep my apartment clean enough that people can stop by unexpectedly and i wont be embarrassed.
After a few weeks of that Iāll just completely switch. Iāll inhale an entire bag of pasta in a few minutes etc etc. Iāll eat literally all day and not care about how many calories im eating. Other areas of my life will also fall apart...right now the dirty dishes are piling up in the sink and i have 0 desire to prepare for the week ahead. My room reeks of ramen and i havent showered since friday.
How tf do i stop this?! Im so sick of this cycle constantly repeating :(
[Help] Blood labs tomorrow and I b/ped heavily today--what could happen?
/u/histrionicbitch [5'2" | 95 | 17.3 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 14:34:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/807nhc/blood_labs_tomorrow_and_i_bped_heavily_todaywhat/
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My dietitian requested a basic blood lab to check for electrolytes and some vitamin levels, so like a genius, I've binged and purged all day. Is this likely going to skew my results? Is there some way to cheat the test a bit? Any experience or info would be insanely helpful.
[Rant/Rave] Wish I could lose my appetite when ill!
/u/captain-stardust
Created: Sun Feb 25 14:03:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/807fux/wish_i_could_lose_my_appetite_when_ill/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE do a combat sport?
/u/Arakance [5'2" | CW: 117lb | GW: 97lb | SW: 125lb | 19 F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 13:55:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/807dy8/dae_do_a_combat_sport/
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I've always loved martial arts and combat sports! I've done Aikido, Kung-Fu, Capoeira, and sword fighting in the past, and now I do Muay Thai and BJJ.
What sports do you guys do?
[Help] New fad diet: coconut oil 'fasting'
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 69.8kg | 25.6 | F | bulimic]
Created: Sun Feb 25 13:27:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8076rg/new_fad_diet_coconut_oil_fasting/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Weekend positive vibes! Silver linings and happy thoughts!
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 25 13:16:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80742c/weekend_positive_vibes_silver_linings_and_happy/
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On mobile flair as discussion.
I really love doing wholesome and positive vibes type threads and really wish there was a weekly sticky one but I guess If there hasn't been one I will do one now. Answer any or all of the following?
1.Some thing good that happened this week (non ED)?
2.Some thing good that happened this week (ED or Mental health related)?
3.One to threw things you did last week to care for yourself or show yourself love?
4.One to three things you will do this week to show yourself love or that you are valuable. Self care.?
My response.
1. I cleaned my room and organized a bit so I can actually find a lot of things now. I went shopping in my own wardrobe and found some cute clothes. I also have decided to officially change my name on all my legal documents and my state will allow my to change my gender as well to an "X" . I will soon be legally known as Willow Avery ( I want two first names cause I always wanted two.)
2. I have been able to learn more about my triggers and where my limits lie. I binged a bit but feel like I learned and so I will try restricting a little higher and maybe being more realistic with myself. I'll still make my first gw before I take a trip on the summer and I feel more motivated right now.
3. Last week I allowed myself to binge and indulge. It started as one allowed binge and a day of not counting that was difficult but I felt it was necessary. I bought some new make up as well which I'm excited for. Also been wearing more things that make me feel pretty that aren't just clothes like jewelry and cute shoes.
4. I plan to ease back into restriction but to adjust so I can have treats from time to time. I am also going to spend Thursday as the museum which I haven't been to in ages. It's free the first Thursday so I am going to absorb art for a few hours and hopefully just enjoy it. I adore art in all forms.
What about you all? How has your week been is a bonus question as well.
Take care, be well and love yourselves friends.
Willow Avery <3
[Rant/Rave] Why do I self sabotage?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 25 13:04:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8070uf/why_do_i_self_sabotage/
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On mobile flair as rant rave please or may be discussion cause I have general questions for the whole of this sub.
I was doing fine for a week then the stress finally got to me and I binged. The first day was only maintainence then the next three days were just straight up gluttony that I told myself, just one day then I'll get back to it. I didn't eat any safe foods I went straight for the definate foods i avoid. I ate two pints of ice cream, a bunch of other garbage and a family sized box of Mac and cheese and lots of chocolate. I feel like I definately gained a couple pounds in the last few days. The bloating was so bad that I couldn't even fit my favorite jeans.
They are a pair of non stretchy skinny jeans from H&M that I keep to remind myself where I am and where I should be they seem to fit me within a 15lb range like some kind of magic pants.
I couldn't button them yesterday morning so I grabbed some stretchy jeans instead and felt like I was still testing the elasticity of the material. I felt like an elephant. And I binged last night around my family. I have been feeling super depressed and alone and food has been what has comforted me and slowed me to feel something.
I was doing just fine eating within a realistic restriction and then I just had to go fuck it up.
How do you get back on track after binge streeks?
How to you keep things in perspective and not feel bogged down by immediate gain or bloating?
Am I being too hard on myself?
I am struggling a lot mentally and so I have just resorted to comfort eating and binging and I just feel awful mentally and physically at this point.
W.
[Help] My ED is affecting my relationship with my mother and I'm amenorrheic at a healthy weight
/u/Miss_Springfield
Created: Sun Feb 25 12:40:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/806uii/my_ed_is_affecting_my_relationship_with_my_mother/
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Long time lurker.
I have issues... Used to be very underweight and restrictive anorexic, but now I'm over-exercising, orthorexic, and pretending it's healthy. My BMI is 18.7 and I haven't had my period in 16 months.
My mother is slightly overweight (AKA skinny by normal American standards). No sign of any EDs with her, just bad portion control and comfort eating. I can't help feel that she is lazy/has no self control. It's making me act like a bitch towards her when I can't help myself. This really saddens me, but my anger/bitterness is so strong, and inexplicable. How do I get over this, and have a good relationship with the one parent I have?
Also tips on getting my period back without gaining weight would be so welcome.
Thanks everyone. Stay strong.
[Help] Pre-period binge resulted in weight-loss??
/u/pinnekjottt
Created: Sun Feb 25 12:38:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/806u6w/preperiod_binge_resulted_in_weightloss/
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So Iāve been restricting for a while and losing at a slow but steady rate, but Iāve been plateauing for the last week. My period isnāt regular at all so I didnāt connect pms to my weight this week, I just thought that I needed to restrict more.
Anyway, I ended up having a massive, awful binge last night, upwards of 3000 calories in one sitting. I felt so so sick and terrible all night and I was dreading my morning weigh in. But when I got up and weighed myself this morning, I was 5lbs lighter than I was two days ago, and I also had my period.
Iāve heard that people can store weight before they get their period and lose it when it actually comes, but this seems like an awful lot of weight to lose in two days, especially after binging like that. I hadnāt weighed myself yesterday, but Iām still really surprised. Does this happen to anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] guilty? not guilty
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -40lb | F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 12:36:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/806tou/guilty_not_guilty/
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a long time ago i was in a toxic mess of a relationship. it was both our faults and i feel deeply ashamed at how i acted.
i ended up indirectly being the trigger for her to lose weight and count calories,, i donāt know if it became a full on ed but for sure I feel bad about it
she ended up losing a shit ton of weight and then thereās me, a lard
however i also donāt wanna feel guilty cause Iām 80% sure she left a nasty anonymous message saying I had āfake bulimia and a fake drug addictionā despite purging daily... and the only mention of drugs I had ever made was when i tried to kill myself, so??
[Discussion] What do you think about the potato cleanse?
/u/girlinschool
Created: Sun Feb 25 12:05:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/806ll0/what_do_you_think_about_the_potato_cleanse/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Has anyone tried the potato cleanse?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 25 11:56:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/806j7f/has_anyone_tried_the_potato_cleanse/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Staple fancy/organic/health/ED foods you guys like? I finally get the chance to shop for myself this week!
/u/lemonlime836
Created: Sun Feb 25 11:43:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/806fxq/staple_fancyorganichealthed_foods_you_guys_like_i/
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Hi guys! So my parents are on vacation for the next week, which means I can freely stock my house with safe, āhealthyā foods. Iām alreay bought a 12 pack of caffeine-free diet pepsi (as not to interfere with my EC stacking) and Iām planning on getting a whole bunch of veggies so I can roast or steam them for meals.
Is there anything I should look out for?? Like cool cooking sprays, milks, ED versions of desserts or snacks, etc? I live in Canada if it helps, and Iām going to go to a few healthy/organic food stores around my area. Bulk barn is also an option.
Thank you!!
[Rant/Rave] Feeling invalidated after eating semi regularly here and there.
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Sun Feb 25 11:43:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/806fw5/feeling_invalidated_after_eating_semi_regularly/
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Iām just not allowed to eat like I used to. Or eat less like I used to. My husband who I now call the warden makes me dinner and will stick food in front of my face and I will just... eat it. Or sometimes Iāll just get up and eat breakfast. Iāll constantly berate myself all day, lose sleep and feel guilt, fat, bloated, disgust, but mostly I canāt help but feeling in the past few months that because this is happening thereās no way I can still have anorexia. A real anorexic would hide food, throw up (I canāt purge anymore, if I could I would, also my apartment is small, you can hear everything, and my husband knows I used to. And The Warden is there porking me up, watching me. Thereās nowhere to hide. I know everything and have thought of it all.)
And Iāll enjoy it. Iāll starve all day, loving it, give in at night, hungry and desperate. Wondering who the fuck is this? Where did I go? Where did my control go? I reprimand myself in other ways, but I feel like I āfell off the wagonā and just, am not valid.
Iām not good at what Iām good at.
I have no control over my control
And it makes me want to die.
[Other] I realized I get off on the high fasting->bingeing brings me.
/u/itzybitzyboo [5'2|CW:133|HW:158|GW:98|19F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 10:42:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/805ztq/i_realized_i_get_off_on_the_high_fastingbingeing/
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The blood sugar rise from fasting until you're about to faint and then bingeing on a bunch of high carb foods is no joke. There is definitely something going on with my neurotransmitters when I do it.
Everyone always says there's a fasting high, and everyone always says there's a binge high, but combining the two unlocks something ultra powerful. It's scaring me; I imagine it's really similar to what drug addicts experience. I'm going to try to stick to high restriction and recovery now.
[Discussion] February 25th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 10:40:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/805z68/february_25th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What is the last dream you remember?
Omg mine is terrifying
First of all my Coworker/friend was asking for all of Pseudo-BFās military info over work email and for some reason I gave it to him. Then he responded and for some reason my relevant response was "I'm on a dolphin doing flips and shit" sent to ALL THE COMPANY HIGHER UPS so I had to quickly try to cancel my email and I think I succeeded. Then he responded saying that email was not appropriate for the workplace and LEFT MY EMAIL ON THE CHAINNNN kill me
Also another one was where my scale was broken. I donāt know which one is more terrifying tbh
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo š
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 10:31:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/805wwn/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/2zol57zl9ei01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] No need to eat when I'm in love
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 120 | 18.78 | 20F š¼]
Created: Sun Feb 25 09:44:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/805l6z/no_need_to_eat_when_im_in_love/
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I usually use food to fill this void inside of me, but I met someone this weekend. All I can think about is him, but he lives an hour away from me and might not be back for a while to visit. We were thinking maybe next weekend, maybe next month, who knows, I don't want to seem too over-enthusiastic and scare him off.
But I've completely stopped thinking about calories and food. All I can think about is spending more time with him. It sounds silly but it truly was love at first sight. My friends pushed me into him because they wanted to ask him something, and it was like lightning as soon as we touched, we spent hours and hours talking and dancing and kissing, and we almost cried when the place was closing and he had to leave. I'm just very happy and really hope he feels the same :)
I'll be spreading positivity all week, because the universe has been so kind to me after I was about to fall down this really bad rabbit hole of happy pills. Sending love to all of you guys out there having a bad day ā it'll get better when you least expect it!
[Help] underweight bmi trying to get lower?
/u/broknbird [bmi 17.5 gbmi 16]
Created: Sun Feb 25 09:39:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/805k1n/underweight_bmi_trying_to_get_lower/
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anyone else already an underweight bmi trying to get lower?
for a couple years I've maintained bmi 17-17.5 (usually on the 17.5 side).
I really want to get down to a low bmi 16/ high bmi 15. for me this would be about 107-108 lb (I'm tall).
it was pretty easy getting from bmi 21 (my HW) to 17.5 but getting lower than this has been very, very difficult for me. not sure if it's psychological or my body fighting me.
anyone else been stuck at an underweight but still 'too high' bmi for a while?
fwiw I still have normal periods and no health problems other than feeling cold a lot, and brittle hair. I'm skinny fat.
[Discussion] Make a Whatsapp support group?
/u/SmartOwls [F5'10| CW 132.7 | BMI 18.5 | GW 120]
Created: Sun Feb 25 09:11:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/805d4m/make_a_whatsapp_support_group/
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I know people use peach, kik etc but I'm a Whatsapp girl and would love to have a group going where we can chat and discuss and save ourselves from binging by sending out an alert and have immediate support. This sub is Amazing and I'm so happy to have found it but I tend to avoid it when feeling bad for not restricting which is when the most support is needed. With whatsapp i think it could be different and everyone could.get the support needed whenever they need it most. I can make a group if there's enough ppl that want it!
PM me your phone number and I'll add you!
[Discussion] Fainting while smoking weed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 25 09:00:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/805aav/fainting_while_smoking_weed/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Feeling super triggered and upset
/u/steamedbun_27 [165cm | too much / GW: 53kg | idk | -27kg | F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 08:27:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8052zl/feeling_super_triggered_and_upset/
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So I have this oldest brother in my house who is a complete good for nothing. He doesn't pay household expenses, and he's a complete bastard to me. He treats me like shit. I was verbally and mentally abused by him since young, but he refuses to move out. Whenever I talk to my mum about it, she just brushes it off and ALWAYS takes his side. I'm the youngest in the family and he's like 14 years older than me. My mum usually does the laundry, and she mistakenly put my T-shirt into my brother's cupboard. I saw him wearing it and I was super triggered because he lost a lot of weight (he was reallyyyyy fat once) and he fit it just nice. I got angry, I told my mum that it was my shirt but she just brushed it off. I don't know if it's right for me to be upset about it, but he clearly knew it wasn't his shirt and he wouldn't return it. And seeing him in that shirt just makes me want to restrict more. Part of me also wants me to restrict so bad that I pass out at work so that I'll finally have attention. Sorry for the rant, just super upset.
[Rant/Rave] any1 else on that hip-dip life? :(
/u/commtra [5'7 | BMI: 20 | GW:100 | -44 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 08:22:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8051tl/any1_else_on_that_hipdip_life/
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https://i.redd.it/aotvomtpmdi01.jpg
[Help] Please could I have some advice
/u/little-paws
Created: Sun Feb 25 07:10:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/804n8y/please_could_i_have_some_advice/
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I have spent the past three days feeling completely paralysed by my eating disorder.
I couldn't really get out of the house because I felt like I needed to decide about if I would eat, what would I eat, how many calories should I have, etc. In the end I achieved nothing this weekend but had a massive disgusting binge yesterday night.
Now I'm back to deliberating about fasting, counting, trying to eat like a normal person, I don't even know what.
There is a two month wait to see my university therapist and I can't go on like this. I just don't know what to do :(
[Thinspo] A little Sunday thinspo. One day.
/u/iwillrunmylife
Created: Sun Feb 25 06:21:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/804ed2/a_little_sunday_thinspo_one_day/
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https://i.redd.it/i2n6gv151di01.jpg
[Help] Help me adjust my calorie intake š
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 25 05:49:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/804923/help_me_adjust_my_calorie_intake/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/804923/help_me_adjust_my_calorie_intake/
[Rant/Rave] I could punch past me in the face right now
/u/EDCJM
Created: Sun Feb 25 05:27:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8045zp/i_could_punch_past_me_in_the_face_right_now/
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So Iām going to Paris tomorrow, for fashion week. I had such a specific plan that I was MEANT to follow for the past three months, but instead my stupid brain decided to follow it on and off and binge at every chance I got. I ended up GAINING 7lbs and Iām literally nauseous thinking about how Iām going to be surrounded by beautiful, thin people while Iām Shamu over here
Brb googling how to lose 15lbs in 24 hours
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 25, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Feb 25 05:11:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8043vl/daily_food_diary_february_25_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 25, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Feb 25 05:11:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8043ri/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Goal] I'm more than halfway to my goal weight (aka closer to my goal weight than my starting weight) š
/u/ineedtogetlighter [5'4 | CW: 137 lbs | -17.4 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | Male]
Created: Sun Feb 25 02:38:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/803jkd/im_more_than_halfway_to_my_goal_weight_aka_closer/
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Just had to make a thread to share the excitement as this is a milestone I've been waiting ages for!
Just need to lose those last 17 lbs now, really excited!
[Help] How do I get my shit together lmao
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 25 02:06:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/803fdg/how_do_i_get_my_shit_together_lmao/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/803fdg/how_do_i_get_my_shit_together_lmao/
any good laxative / supplements for quick and/or easy weight loss?
/u/leezull
Created: Sun Feb 25 01:57:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/803e4r/any_good_laxative_supplements_for_quick_andor/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend's new girlfriend
/u/CeciNestPasOP [5'8" | CW: 126 | GW: happy | 22F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 01:44:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/803cic/my_boyfriends_new_girlfriend/
---
(my relationship is poly - my boyfriend has one 10 yr+ partner, I am welcome to seek out more partners)
My boyfriend is developing a relationship with a new woman, and she's perfect. He's so happy right now. I want so badly to happy for him.
She's a ballerina, and a contortionist. There is no body fat on her. Being amazing is her job. Everyone tells me that she's fantastic, and we would get along great. Am I fantastic? It doesn't feel like it.
He says I'm amazing. That I make his life better. I don't feel like it at all. I feel like I'm pulling him down, and maybe someday he'll see that. Maybe this is my illness. But maybe it's just me.
[Goal] Lost half a stone in a week!
/u/Deviiation [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 22.99 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Sun Feb 25 01:14:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8038n0/lost_half_a_stone_in_a_week/
---
I did well this week. I was detoxing in hospital and had no appetite at all, and when I was hungry, the pasta I ordered arrived cold. I think in that week I ate only something like three cereal bars, a small bowl of macaroni cheese and HP sauce, a bit of whiskey that a friend snuck in for me, and a plain cheese sandwich. (Plain cheese sandwiches are a godsend! Supermarkets make such fancy and largely disgusting sandwich yet they can't sell you a simple bit of cheese between two slices of white bread without excessive mayonnaise etc.)
Without meaning to, I lost a lot of weight in there. 7lbs! That's half a stone. I'm from the mid-23s in BMI to the high 22s. I thought I'd screwed it because I drank last night, but I'm still alright. I'm so glad. Here's to more weight gone. Here's to my goal soon.
[Discussion] Is anyone else super insecure about their measurements?
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: š³ 100lbs]
Created: Sun Feb 25 01:03:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8036y8/is_anyone_else_super_insecure_about_their/
---
I'm 5'2, with 34 inch shoulders, 29 inch bust, 25 inch waist and 31 inch hips. Everything I wear makes me feel like my hips are massive, or my shoulders are massive and they make me feel so gross. It's weird but I also feel like my boobs are super big and I hate them so much despite being a 28A. Is this just body dysmorphia? Also sidenote: is it weird that I feel like my boobs and hips piss me off more than my shoulders, despite the latter being bigger on me?
[Rant/Rave] r.i.p my weightloss lmao
/u/ThinnerBirb [5'7 | CW:116lb | GW:100lb | HW:130lb | 18.2 BMI | 19F]
Created: Sun Feb 25 00:43:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8034co/rip_my_weightloss_lmao/
---
I've been high restricting lately because I'm trying to be kinda healthy.. plus whenever I've tried to restrict more I've done stuff like going into the kitchen and just eating sugar. stupid things like that aha.
And then today I'm just like.. let's eat everything. 3000 caloris - 3/4 of a bag of Collide Doritos. sugar out of the kitchen again. peanut butter m&ms. timtams. speculoos hƤagen-dazs. goldfish crackers.
yesterday wasn't really any better, the start of the doritos. the last of the Ben & Jerry's. seaweed crisps. nerds? idk why.
all of those on top of breakfast/lunch/dinner because it's the weekend and fiance is home
just so much junk when I've been otherwise able to restrict to <1200 a day
how TF do I get back on track? I'm in physical pain from this and I can't bear to see what the scales will say tomorrow..
[Discussion] Are you concetrating on some body parts more and feel quilty about them? How do you deal with it (physically and emotionally)?
/u/moody_loser_caught
Created: Sun Feb 25 00:19:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8030wq/are_you_concetrating_on_some_body_parts_more_and/
---
For me it's personally my legs overall (thights especially), waist, sometimes buttocks and now cheekbones have added.
What body parts do you feel quilty about? Some tips to deal with them?
[Rant/Rave] Finished 1st extended fast
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Sat Feb 24 23:48:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/802wbv/finished_1st_extended_fast/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Sick of purging into bags
/u/anonymouschim1795
Created: Sat Feb 24 22:54:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/802nkc/sick_of_purging_into_bags/
---
Sorry this is kind of an empty post but I needed to get it off my chest. I live with other people so purging in the bathroom is too risky. Instead I purge in my room into grocery bags. It's disgusting, my room smells like puke trying to be masked by the whatever candle I have lit. I have to take the garbage out everyday. It's a horrible walk, taking bags of my own vomit down the parking lot to the dumpster in full view of all my neighbors. It's a pain in the ass and I just wish I could do it in the bathroom and be able to flush it down. It's such a long horrible process and yet I can't stop.
[Rant/Rave] I just wanna die lmao (tw: suicide)
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | went to treatment | send help | 24F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 22:17:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/802h8u/i_just_wanna_die_lmao_tw_suicide/
---
I've been in college (university) since August 2013 and I'm nowhere near graduating. Because of my eating disorder and other mental illnesses I've totally fucked up my college career. I can't even begin to count how many classes I've dropped and how many I've failed, even after taking them for a 3rd time. I'm 24 and technically a sophomore at a school that I've been at for almost 5 years now. I should have graduated a year ago. Even if I push myself and do well in all my classes, I won't be graduating for another 2 years. Wow.
I went to residential treatment for my anorexia in the summer of 2016 and I'm here, a year and a half later, relapsing. I'm 24 and I have nothing to show for my life. The only thing I do have is my horses and riding 'career'. It's not much of a career, but I will admit that I've accomplished a lot in the few years I've been riding. And even with horses, if I'm starving myself, I can't ride properly and I put my horses in danger.
Anyways, with this relapse I honestly feel like it HAS to be the death of me. I've wasted too much time in my prime years and have nothing to show of it. Right now I feel like I want to use anorexia as a slow suicide and...I don't even know how I feel about it. Like, it doesn't scare me. I feel like I have nothing to live for, besides my horses and cats. But I know that even when I'm gone they'll be well taken care of.
In the past when I would relapse I would kinda want people to figure it out/find out about it ASAP because I want someone to show me they care. But now? I don't care. I'm not going to see my therapist or psychiatrist anymore. I'm not going to hope someone notices my weight loss. I'm not going to see my friends. I'm not going to visit my parents (who live halfway across the country) nor am I going to keep encouraging them to visit me. I don't care what the repercussions are. As dumb as it sounds, if someone asks about my weight loss (even if it's someone who knows about my ED), I'm just going to act like I have no idea what they're talking about, as though I've lost no weight. Even if I am visibly underweight.
I just don't care about my life anymore. This semester I'm taking some really, really good classes. I *was* taking this Biology class but it requires too much brain function compared to my other classes so I dropped it so I could focus on my ED and require less calories to do well in that class. It's so fucking dumb but I can't stop it at this point. They say people who seek treatment for their ED will relapse within 6-18 months. Well I'm at that 18 month mark right now.
Sorry for the long post. I've been meaning to post about this for a while now but I haven't been able to get myself to actually do it because I feel like I come across as a complete psycho with the current mental/emotional state I'm in right now.
Have a good night, enjoy the rest of the weekend. I love you all so much.
Also sorry if this is incoherent - I took 2mg Xanax to help me sleep instead of focus on my hunger (insert upside smiling emoji) and I'm kind of loopy right now.
[Help] I want to stay in school...
/u/ThisIsNotGumpy [5'2 | 97 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 22:14:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/802gmc/i_want_to_stay_in_school/
---
I had a phone conversation with my dietician today and it didnāt go so well. If I lose 5 more lbs, she is recommending my parents pull me from school and put me into treatment.
First, can they do this? Iām 18, so a legal adult.
Second, Iām not even very far underweight! Iām 5ā3 and 97 lbs, so I donāt even look sick.
I have been doing so well too, I upped my intake to 800cal/day and Iāve been following most of the meal plan. I just have to work harder at it I guess.
But here I am, on my bullshit, trying to figure out a way to weasel out of this one.
I canāt afford to lose all of this academic progress (literally cannot afford because Iām a broke college student).
[Help] I gotta stop overeating.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 22:06:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/802f2y/i_gotta_stop_overeating/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/802f2y/i_gotta_stop_overeating/
[Rant/Rave] Rooming situation anxiety/rant
/u/IiIbeansprout
Created: Sat Feb 24 21:51:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/802ccr/rooming_situation_anxietyrant/
---
You guys, i'm terrified.
Next semester I'm gonna be an RA in a place w 2 other girls (3 of us). i don't have a ton of friends. two girls have asked me to live w them but i just...
they're disgusting. they leave garbage everywhere, smoke weed/hookah CONSTANTLY inside their apartment, always have boys over, etc. i know im being petty, but jesus. they're my only two female friends though, and I don't want two random roommates???
here's the situation tho- whenever i go over there to hang out they are ALWAYS shoving their mouths full of food, pizza, wings, takeout, etc and it kills me. they make fun of me for not eating it even tho i have celiac and it gives me HORRIBLE anxiety. i know my behavior isnt healthy but god i cant rid the anxiety. however, they DID call me a skinny bitch so its working???
[Other] I should be down 5 pounds
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 21:32:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8028zl/i_should_be_down_5_pounds/
---
Not sure how to tag this. I just calculated my calories for the past three weeks and I should be down somewhere between 3 and 5 pounds, depending on how accurate my exercise tracker is. On the one hand Iām really happy- thatās great progress- but on the other one I feel like Iām not seeing it in my measurements (but maybe Iām bloated because my period is coming, but I think Iāve lost my period?) and Iām terrified to step on a scale (but I donāt know what my SW was anyway). Mostly Iām just stressed out and desperately want to reach my goal weight within the next two weeks, which I think should be doable if I keep going the way Iām going but not if the numbers are wrong....
I donāt know. Iām just stressed out. Words of wisdom, anyone?
[Discussion] Dae feel hated by everyone?
/u/wholeandsimple
Created: Sat Feb 24 21:23:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8027cv/dae_feel_hated_by_everyone/
---
It doesn't bother me much anymore, but it's so isolating.
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like they are the only one with a ābad bodyā?
/u/spiralswirll [5'8" | CW:146 | GW: 125 |Fš¬]
Created: Sat Feb 24 21:04:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8023mv/dae_feel_like_they_are_the_only_one_with_a_bad/
---
Like Iāll see people that are my size or bigger and I think they look fine. Even if theyāre bigger than me I think they carry weight better than I do. I often feel like the only person with a bad body. No matter how much weight I lose I never feel ok about myself. I feel so disproportionate and not toned at all even though I basically live at the gym.
Also I went to topshop today to try on some pants and even though Iām down to a size six the fitting room lighting/mirror made me want to die. Why do stores insist on having awful fitting rooms?? Like youād think they would want you to look good so youāll actually buy stuff?? Or maybe I really do just look that awful lmao ok sorry Iām ranting but š¤·š»āāļø
[Rant/Rave] So Conflicted
/u/Bleepbloopbroke [65|CW 106.4|GW 95|UGW 84|17.91| -26.6| F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 20:58:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8022hs/so_conflicted/
---
so people have been starting to notice my weight loss and I'm happy that they notice but not happy with getting all the you need to eat more comments and stuff.
Like I want people to see me as thin, but don't want them getting suspicious about my ED.
I've been bingeing for weeks, and though I've only gained about 1.5 pounds, the fact that I haven't lost weight in almost 2 months is terrifying. I look fatter and fatter every day so I feel like I must be losing lots of muscle and gaining lots of fat. I mean, how else could I start to look so big after gaining so little?
I'm really freaking out about summertime, because I won't be able to hide my body as much as I can now that it's cold out. And honestly, I kinda want to recover, but keep telling myself I'm not thin enough, not sick enough, I won't be able to fit into my clothes anymore, I'll get fat and ugly and all that.
I don't know what to do :/
[Discussion] DAE feel like they need to be in constant crisis? (Tw)
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Sat Feb 24 20:38:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/801yle/dae_feel_like_they_need_to_be_in_constant_crisis/
---
So, I have BPD(Borderline Personality Disorder). I know there's a subreddit for others with BPD but over the past month or so, every time I've posted I've gotten negative comments and idk this subreddit seems the most comfortable for me. I feel like I need to be in constant crisis or others just don't seem to care. Nobody says shit when I can make it through my day because that's what's expected. They don't seem to actually give a shit about me until I stop eating or I'm self harming or I threaten to throw myself off a bridge. Does any else feel this way?
[Goal] made it to under 100 āļø
/u/regretebly
Created: Sat Feb 24 20:08:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/801sd1/made_it_to_under_100/
---
itās been a few months since i hit my goal of 100 lbs, and for a while i had a lot of trouble going down. there were a few points i gained weight and felt hopeless. i hadnāt checked the scale in a while, and when i finally just checked i found that i can happily say iām under 100 lbs! itās 96 lbs, and i know itās not a big difference, but itās the best thing thatās happened in a couple days and iām happy about it āļø
[Help] Can anyone give me reassurance
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sat Feb 24 19:38:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/801mcf/can_anyone_give_me_reassurance/
---
Can someone tell me that I can eat like a regular person and itās not the end of the world, or that I can put on a couple pounds and it will be ok.
Can someone make me actually believe it
[Help] NON ED RELATED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 19:31:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/801kly/non_ed_related/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] No longer obese! Except
/u/Kitten_in_a_teacup [5'5" | -54lb | F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 19:27:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/801js5/no_longer_obese_except/
---
[removed]
I want to relapse.
/u/HotCanadianTeacher
Created: Sat Feb 24 19:21:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/801inf/i_want_to_relapse/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Thank you to everyone who lead me to the Brain over Binge Podcast! It saved my weekend!
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sat Feb 24 19:19:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/801ibm/thank_you_to_everyone_who_lead_me_to_the_brain/
---
I will be honest, I have only listened to 6 of them but I feel like that was enough.
The part comparing the animal part of our brain the "old part" of the human brain has really helped me become aware of how I can try to control it.
I have wanted to binge but have been seeing it as almost one of those vampire shows or something hahahaha like not letting the "monster" take over since I now know it can be controlled by our upper brain. I know I will binge again (it happens) but I HAVE controlled my urges all week, especially the past two weekend days.
I did feel that listening further may trigger a binge though. Has anyone listened to the complete series? If so can you be vague on what else it covers?
I highly recommend this to anyone who is on the verge of a binge.
[Help] Relapsing at a very high BMI
/u/I-Slap-Cat-Butts
Created: Sat Feb 24 19:14:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/801h2o/relapsing_at_a_very_high_bmi/
---
hey yāall. i recently relapsed for what seems like the 100th time and this time around it just feels so much more frustrating because Iām more than twice as heavy as I was at my lw. I think this is probably a really specific kind of frustration, but Iām hoping to see if anyone else is dealing with something similar. The last time I attempted recovery was over two years ago, and I felt like it stuck because I havenāt had any real wobbles until the last week or so, though I hesitate to say I recovered because I just went to the opposite extreme and ate myself fat, lmao. Itās so daunting to look at the scale and know how much weight I have to lose and how long itās going to take but at the same time Iām sort of relieved because I seriously doubt anyone is going to be concerned with my eating habits until Iāve lost about half of myself.
[Discussion] Whats the longest you should fast without vitamins?
/u/selfharmaccount123
Created: Sat Feb 24 19:03:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/801epf/whats_the_longest_you_should_fast_without_vitamins/
---
[removed]
[Help] I. Need. To. Sleep !!!!
/u/Arkhamgel [5'8| | 143 | 15 lbs | Male]
Created: Sat Feb 24 18:54:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/801cu8/i_need_to_sleep/
---
Jeez how can you calm your heart enough to fall asleep after taking a large cup of coffee at 11 pm (it's 3am rn) ?
I thought it would help me enjoy the evening but I was just as tired but faster :<
[Discussion] DAE use Kudzu for alcohol abuse/anxiety?
/u/uglydelicious
Created: Sat Feb 24 18:41:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/801a3d/dae_use_kudzu_for_alcohol_abuseanxiety/
---
I just picked up a bottle of this Chinese herb called Kudzu. Skeptical (and hungover) i popped one this morning and holy shit. 1) hangover is gone 2) mind has slowed tremendously i was actually driving later in the day totally forgot i took it and i actually said to myself āwow everything looks so brighter wtf is going on...ā until i remembered i took the herbs this morning. Anyone else ever use Kudzu to curb your anxiety or desire to drink? Cause this shit already is amazing Iām so curious to see the long term effects.
[Rant/Rave] "You know weight gain's a side effect of those pills, right?"
/u/Strawberry2point0 [5'8" | CW: 162 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | 21M]
Created: Sat Feb 24 18:39:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8019im/you_know_weight_gains_a_side_effect_of_those/
---
The above was snapped sarcastically by my mother after informing her that I was trying antidepressants to help treat the crippling depression that's ruining my life. It came at the end of a nearly 20-minute rant about how I'm useless if I have to "pop pills" to get through college.
She *knows* I'm bulimic. She *knows* how much I'm scared of getting fatter. So that was her closing remark.
:/
[Help] weed cookies...
/u/antkings
Created: Sat Feb 24 18:37:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80195k/weed_cookies/
---
iām sick.... banging headache.... got sent home from work... hardly eaten... no weed. iām in s much pain. i am the one person u can always count on to have weed on hand. my s/o smoked it all this morning. iām resorting to making THC ācookiesā with stems that iāve saved for a long time. except. it takes a whole fucking ton of butter. i just wanna feel less sick and get rid of this persistent headache !!! it hasnāt stopped since last night regardless of taking pain meds :(
[Rant/Rave] He keeps adding butter
/u/Gnarlyjtw
Created: Sat Feb 24 18:28:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80177j/he_keeps_adding_butter/
---
My dad loves cooking, and so do I. He's been watching a lot of food industry documentaries, "fed up" for example, and by virtue of what he's learned has decided to avoid sugar and eliminate it from the food he makes.
Good!
He then decided on his own that CICO is meaningless and not gaining is all dependent on not consuming sugar.
Bad.
He adds so much fucking butter and oil (and CHEESE) to everything he makes, the meal becomes well over 800 calories on its own. I can bitch about it but he claims that fat calories dont matter.
This is mostly a rant but if anyone has any tips to deal with this? I want to be able to eat more than just once a day.
I'm almost 30
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 18:26:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8016ui/im_almost_30/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8016ui/im_almost_30/
[Rant/Rave] 365 days here and I canāt stop eating
/u/sighsless [5'6 | CW:128.4 | 20.81 | idk]
Created: Sat Feb 24 18:25:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8016jb/365_days_here_and_i_cant_stop_eating/
---
Itās been approximately 365 days since I made this alt account for this sub. Iāve posted on and off. Lately, a little less so.
My flair is not my current weight. Iāve gained since. Iām not sure if I can edit it on mobile, and part of me doesnāt want to.
My eating issues used to always be emotion-based and not at all about body image. But lately seeing myself in the mirror I cringe and think of my thinnest. Itās strange because I know I havenāt gained THAT much. Iām not at my HW. I fit into the jeans I bought at a lower weight than I am now.
The other thing is: I can FEEL the weight. Is that a thing? Does anyone else get the sensation of extra fat clinging to their thighs and hips? Itās extremely uncomfortable and unsettling. It makes me feel so huge. It makes me feel much bigger than the number on the scale, and much bigger than should fit those jeans. In the mirror, Iām ballooning. It scares me so much.
The problem is: I canāt stop eating. Iām more depressed than I have been in a long time. In these 365 days Iāve officially been online here, my go-to used to be to restrict to combat the depression. Now somehow Iāve switched. I either justify it to myself, or I lose time and a sense of self and gorge and gorge, later frantically logging from wrappers and false memory into MFP. I hate that Iāve become this.
Iāve read others posting about eating more and more after a period of restriction. Iām scared itās my turn now. I donāt know what to do about it or how to stop.
[Help] Which brand of grilled chicken is best? If I make a smoothie (recipe below) will it be too high in calories?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 18:15:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8014h2/which_brand_of_grilled_chicken_is_best_if_i_make/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8014h2/which_brand_of_grilled_chicken_is_best_if_i_make/
[Other] Feeling like the biggest piece of shit
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sat Feb 24 18:04:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80128m/feeling_like_the_biggest_piece_of_shit/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Has anyone tried the Lunabelle Diet?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 18:04:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80127t/has_anyone_tried_the_lunabelle_diet/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80127t/has_anyone_tried_the_lunabelle_diet/
[Help] How does ketosis end?
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sat Feb 24 17:22:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/800t3e/how_does_ketosis_end/
---
Iām aware carbs break keto but in what amount and how significant do the carbs have to be? I assume a plate of pasta or some bread would end it but what about an apple or other healthier carbs?š
[Rant/Rave] Today at work
/u/andromedagalaxxy [5'6.5 | 128 | 20.4 | -19 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 17:18:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/800s8j/today_at_work/
---
A husband and a wife came in today, the husband ordered a sandwich with a side of fries, the wife got an iced tea and ate a bite of his sandwich and a couple fries. She might be the thinnest person I've ever seen in real life.
I could not stop staring at her. Even though I'm not thin, I'm the thinnest girl at work, and often times thinner than the people around me, because in this country the majority of people overweight. Every time I see a girl who's skinnier then me I start to feel disgusting and huge, even if I felt fine just minutes before. I started imagining that she was looking at me and thinking I was fat.
Craziest thing is that I don't even want to be that size, she looked very sick and I didn't consider her beautiful (to my personal standards) yet it sent me to such a weird place of jealousy and self consciousness.
Anyone else experience this?
[Discussion] Tea/coffee question
/u/ohlookadoggo
Created: Sat Feb 24 16:56:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/800n8s/teacoffee_question/
---
So Iāve found that I can avoid my vicious binge/restrict cycle by having one larger meal towards the end of my day. I give myself a four hour window to eat (from 7pm-11pm) and then fast until that time the next day. Basically OMAD. When Iām fasting I drink black coffee and different kinds of hot tea here and there.
My question is, do you limit yourselves to one cup of coffee/tea when fasting, or do you drink as much as you want? I usually have 2 cups of coffee in the morning and then in the afternoon I switch to tea. Do you have as many cups as you want or just one? What are some great teas you love?
[Discussion] (logic voice) who can relate š¢
/u/xjzqq
Created: Sat Feb 24 16:56:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/800n4o/logic_voice_who_can_relate/
---
ate about 700 cal at brunch, then ate two panera bagels, then a broth bowl and chips from panera (all in a two hour period) purged some, drank some soda. ate another 1/3 of a bagel because why not.
due to overeating / purging / drinking a lot of diet soda / resulting bowel issues i am pretty much always somewhat bloated but BOY am i bloated right now. i genuinely look pregnant and my stomach is in pain lol.
as someone who is āāātrying to loose weightāāāā for āāaesthetic purposesāā, itās a little ironic iām constantly bloated / breaking out / my face/eyes are puffy and am generally too lazy/apathetic to wear makeup or dress in anything other than sweatshirts and leggings.
anyways just felt like complaining :)
[Rant/Rave] Wish we didnāt take everything to the extreme
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sat Feb 24 16:37:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/800iuy/wish_we_didnt_take_everything_to_the_extreme/
---
I remember when I felt good about fasting for 24 hours daily and only eating one meal. Then I was proud when I started going 48 hours. Now I canāt feel good about anything under 72. I havenāt eaten in 38 hours and that feels like nothing to me, I feel like a fat pos.
Along with that, I used to be happy about being 110- now I am maintaining 106 and I feel like a fat pos.
Today is a bad day. Iām in a bad place.
[Rant/Rave] Waiting to go to bed...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 16:01:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/800aq2/waiting_to_go_to_bed/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/800aq2/waiting_to_go_to_bed/
[Help] 10 day Master Cleanse
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 15:58:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/800a1l/10_day_master_cleanse/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/800a1l/10_day_master_cleanse/
[Help] How can I get rid of food weight?
/u/delaneyjay
Created: Sat Feb 24 15:47:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8007q4/how_can_i_get_rid_of_food_weight/
---
[removed]
[Help] What's the point of treating my depression if psych meds make me gain weight?
/u/kamratkattunge
Created: Sat Feb 24 15:45:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/80076n/whats_the_point_of_treating_my_depression_if/
---
I've been diagnosed with major depression for 13 years and have been struggling with my weight for as long as I can remember. every medication I've tried either makes me fatter and uglier, or doesn't work. I'm about to start Abilify tomorrow but there's another risk of weight gain and increased appetite. I want to give up and kill myself lol
[Rant/Rave] People seem kinder when I don't eat.
/u/PlentyEdge
Created: Sat Feb 24 15:44:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8006x5/people_seem_kinder_when_i_dont_eat/
---
Maybe it's all in my head. Maybe it's the confidence that comes with having an empty belly. Who knows. But people seem more keen and kind when I don't consume.
My weight fluctuates a bit. I'm heavier than I have been in some time.... *Le Sigh*
Coincidentally the potential love of my life, *Mr Perfect*, has been losing interest. My weight difference is probably 15 lbs since we first met. Even if I am tall, it shows .
"But I like your body", he said. "Your curves (cringe at that word...) are perfect." Oh, how naive some women are not to realize men will say what they must to get you to open up in bed and stop whining.
Welp. Time to pop adderall and go run.
[Rant/Rave] Bulimia + Loneliness? Personal rant.
/u/mina1200
Created: Sat Feb 24 15:18:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8000ou/bulimia_loneliness_personal_rant/
---
I think for most of the week Iām very much in denial I have a problem even though Iām restricting like crazy. I think mostly because restricting makes me feel SO good and in control? I allow myself to binge on the weekends which usually ofc ends with purging afterwards. And so itās pretty much only weekends usually when Iām like āoh shit, I think I might actually have a problem?!ā
Recently Iāve started withdrawing socially and have been feeling more and more lonely. I know my friends have noticed that Iāve started interacting with them less, but they donāt seem to care much. It really sucks. At the end of the day, I donāt really care as long as I have myself but it still sucks.
Today I just keep thinking about how lonely dealing with this is, how exhausting, all consuming and fucking expensive!!! I donāt want to stop though, because there are only a few things left that make me feel as good as I do about myself when Iām restricting. Plus, I want to lose weight. Plus, purging is weirdly cathartic. Plus, I love feeling like Iām sharing a secret with myself.
And over time you just become better and better at hiding it. Iāve never been good at opening up to people and sharing my thoughts & feelings, so unless someone were to directly confront me about it, Iāll probably never tell. Transparency like that terrifies me. I mean, if I tell someone, wtf will I have left?!
Anyways. Purged like crazy earlier this evening and my knuckles still sore. Iām feeling super lonely but at least I have this sub. Tomorrowās a new day everyone!
[Other] my significant other has an ed
/u/antkings
Created: Sat Feb 24 15:10:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zzyq5/my_significant_other_has_an_ed/
---
and they binge. in front of me. all the time. theyāre fucking TINY. i donāt know how they stay this skinny. theyāre 5ā10 and 118 lbs. they starve half the time and binge the other half, completely unashamed. because they have no body image issues!!!! at all!!!! they just have really awful food anxiety and food phobia from autism. so when they can eat , they eat a LOT. so every other day iām hearing and seeing a huge binge. smoke. binge. smoke. holy fuck their metabolism is good. color me triggered
[Discussion] What is the one thing you couldn't live proed without?
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 108 |18| GW:105 | -37 | 20F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 15:10:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zzyo3/what_is_the_one_thing_you_couldnt_live_proed/
---
Just wondering what items or activities keep your ~~lifestyle~~ sustainable. For me, mint green tea is the one thing that I wouldn't be able to let go and not struggle without. Mint green tea curbs my cravings, makes me feel relaxed, and is super easy to make. What item is your holy grail piece?
edit: So sorry for using the word lifestyle, I have struggled with anorexia for most of my life so the last thing I wanted it to sound like was a trend. That is completely my bad :(
[Other] my partner has an ed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 15:08:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zzyep/my_partner_has_an_ed/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zzyep/my_partner_has_an_ed/
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Gained more. updated my flair. im a monster.
/u/scribbledoll [5'0'' | 140 |Overweight | IDK | Girl? Ish?]
Created: Sat Feb 24 15:06:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zzxt1/rant_gained_more_updated_my_flair_im_a_monster/
---
the only people i see around my weight are people who are waaay taller so theyre not fat. but when its on me im really fat and i hate it. i need to lose all this weight RIGHT NOW. im tired of trying and failing to eat less and lose weight slowly and then sometimes having the scale not budge for WEEKS while im fucking plateauing forever. i just want to claw and rip and tear at myself until im Good Enough TM.
updated my flair to make me feel more miserable because now everyone here can see how much of a disgusting failure i am by gaining like 9 pounds in a few months after it took a YEAR to lose only 24 pounds (from ~155 to ~131) and less than two months to gain nine of those hard fought 24 pounds back. im disgusted with myself.
im too fucking weak and pathetic to DO anything about it. im too much of a coward and a weak piece of shit to make myself puke, so all the fucking food i eat STAYS IN ME AND THEN I GAIN WEIGHT FROM IT. i hate myself.
[Rant/Rave] stole a scale from target today!!
/u/antkings
Created: Sat Feb 24 15:03:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zzx6k/stole_a_scale_from_target_today/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Wellbutrin?
/u/strebkh
Created: Sat Feb 24 14:59:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zzw3v/wellbutrin/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Losing inches but not weight?
/u/BlondeActually
Created: Sat Feb 24 14:55:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zzv7f/losing_inches_but_not_weight/
---
Iāve been high restricting since about November when I hit 95 pounds. I weigh myself constantly and Iāve been stuck between 94-97 pounds since then, depending on when I weigh.
So I havenāt lost any weight in 3 months, but Iāve lost almost half an inch on my arms and thighs, and around two inches from my stomach. Iām bonier than ever, but the scale just wonāt budge.
Has this happened to anyone else? How can I be losing size but not weight? I havenāt been working out at all so it canāt be muscle, but Iām reasonably active with 10k-15k steps a day.
[Rant/Rave] Beginning to question recovery
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Sat Feb 24 14:13:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zzkz5/beginning_to_question_recovery/
---
I've given my girlfriend my scales, I keep an achievements journal, I have a list of safe meals I'm trying to build upon. Which all sounds great but I hate myself, I can see that I'm putting on weight, my legs are slashed to shit, my girlfriend won't let me step on the scales and all I've done is eat.
I hate myself guys, I hate the way my stomach looks, the way I seem to be losing my thigh gap. I just feel so ugly and huge. I'm trying to eat healthier except what I've eat yesterday and today is:
Yesterday:
Burrito from Tortilla
Creme egg
1/4 pack of Maryland cookies
10 squares of Cadburys chocolate
3 homemade cookies
Today:
McDonalds pancakes and sausage with syrup and 3 hash browns
About 100g of sushi rice with kale, broccoli, carrot, baby corn and asparagus slathered in soy sauce and siracha
A portion of chips from a takeaway
Half a share bag of Cadburys caramel nibbles
Cadbury's creme egg
Two pots of Rolo mousse
I've tried to justify it as 'well I did a lot of walking and laughing so it's okay to eat a lot' but I feel disgusting.
Fuck, why am I trying when it makes me feel shit about myself? Was I ever even sick or just lying?
[Rant/Rave] i don't feel happy unless i'm hungry
/u/cisheterpatriarchy [5'6 | 146lbs | GW: 116lbs]
Created: Sat Feb 24 13:56:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zzgwt/i_dont_feel_happy_unless_im_hungry/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] February 24th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 12:52:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zz1eh/february_24th_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
What do you have too much of today?
[Goal] I got distracted looking at before and after recovery photos and wound up burning my lunch.
/u/instantanarchy [5'3 | 132 | 24BMI | FTM]
Created: Sat Feb 24 12:50:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zz0v9/i_got_distracted_looking_at_before_and_after/
---
[removed]
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo š
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 12:42:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zyywc/daily_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/yj68xo96s7i01.jpg
[Help] I am in recovery but I've been asked to do a catwalk for my friend and I feel like I shouldn't eat until then
/u/theloveoflordjesus
Created: Sat Feb 24 11:56:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zynjd/i_am_in_recovery_but_ive_been_asked_to_do_a/
---
I am in recovery and I've been really good at sticking to it and looking after myself but I've been asked to model for my friend and I have to walk a catwalk and I'm really really excited but I'm going to be around all of these pretty, skinny girls and I just feel like I shouldn't eat so I can also be pretty for it
[Discussion] Rewards for not doing (insert ED habit)
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 11:26:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zyfv8/rewards_for_not_doing_insert_ed_habit/
---
Does anyone set rewards for not engaging in certain habits in an effort to stop? Iām definitely more stock than carrot type but Iām grasping for anything right now and thought perhaps setting a reward for 60 days no c&s might help me stop again!
[Rant/Rave] "Then why aren't you thin."
/u/Lunnaris [5' | CW: 134,4 | UGW: 110,2 | 24F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 11:17:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zydn0/then_why_arent_you_thin/
---
I have a pletora of mental health issues, and the other day I had to go to the hospital because of risky suicidal thoughts.
I opened up to the doctor about everything, including the fact that for the last six months I've been eating a toast a day for most of the week, then go overboard and binge a day or two.
She asked me "then why aren't you thin?".
That was like a dagger. I had been eating three meals a day the previous week, but now I'm back to the start. I've lost 22 pounds this last months and I know *I fucking know* that I'm chubby, to say the least. But now I'm completely destroyed. I live by myself, and I've tried ordering food, but I couldn't bring myself to eat it, as hungry as I was.
I don't know. I can't tell anybody because they'll freak out and I need to feel like I'm not alone.
[Rant/Rave] Gone to far with weight gain in recovery while still being mentally disordered. Can't cope, need advice. Plus I love you guys!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 10:56:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zy85g/gone_to_far_with_weight_gain_in_recovery_while/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I am there.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 10:51:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zy70x/i_am_there/
---
So I've done it. I've reached the slim figure everyone wants. My weight is low.
I am the blonde, skinny girl who runs elegantly. The girl who is academically intelligent, musically (and otherwise) talented, helpful, friendly, smily, approachable, funny, loving, loved.
I am everything I aspired to be those many years ago when this began and yet it is not satisfying. There is no real end to this and it doesn't feel like enough.
This is vicious
[Rant/Rave] Had the worst binge ever in my life yesterday
/u/napalmlife_ [5'6" | 101 | 16.37 | F21]
Created: Sat Feb 24 10:13:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zxxi6/had_the_worst_binge_ever_in_my_life_yesterday/
---
Yesterday was an all out binge. My friends and I started drinking at 4 pm after classes just because. That kicked it all off. I had:
ā¢ pretzel rods
ā¢ a bagel
ā¢ meatballs (like what????)
ā¢ cheese cubes
ā¢ soup
ā¢ burrito bowl
ā¢ a box of mac and cheese
ā¢ a mini pizza
ā¢ aaaand a ton of sugary alcoholic mixed drinks
I woke up so bloated and I hate myself. I had a fun night with my friends but today fucking sucks. I don't know how to recover from this.
[Other] You're happy, right?
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 09:57:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zxtfm/youre_happy_right/
---
https://i.redd.it/kztcxmcmy6i01.png
[Discussion] Xanga ED Community Circa Late 2000s?
/u/Feelgoodfood [5'0 | CW 100 | GW 77]
Created: Sat Feb 24 09:38:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zxorc/xanga_ed_community_circa_late_2000s/
---
Back in 2008/2009 when xanga was poppin, was anyone else involved in the ED community groups like "No thanks, I'm not hungry", "fragile" etc to name a few!
[Rant/Rave] I want to tell my psychiatrist about my eating habits
/u/cakecakepiecake [5'3 |CW:117 lb| 20.73 | GW:95 lb| F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 09:35:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zxnz1/i_want_to_tell_my_psychiatrist_about_my_eating/
---
But Iām afraid to. I feel like sheās overwhelmed by me. I have both bipolar and OCD. My meds have stopped my depression, but not my mania. Iām also having psychotic episodes, and she started me on an anti-psychotic medication. Iām afraid of telling her about my purging and my calorie restriction. Sheās tried SSRIs for my OCD, but they make the mania so much worse.I feel like Iām a huge pain in the ass.
[Discussion] Skinnier with a Boyfriend?
/u/susantemp471649
Created: Sat Feb 24 09:05:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zxgrl/skinnier_with_a_boyfriend/
---
Hey all!
My ex and I broke up in February of 2017 and over the course of the next six months I proceeded to gain 20 pounds. I wasn't obese or unhealthy, but my restriction definitely morphed into bingeing. It was a lot of weight to gain in less than a year.
Nonetheless, we reconnected in December (just two months ago), and we didn't get back together or anything, nor do I want to. But I weighed myself today (a little less than two months after) and I'm officially down 15 pounds!
What's the logic to this? I've been trying to stop bingeing and drop this weight since August but haven't been able to until now! And the only thing that's changed since then is that I saw him. Does this happen to anyone else? What do you all think?
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend tried to make me feel better but accidentally minimized my ED
/u/accordingtoging [5'9" | 135 | 19.5 | -40 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 08:34:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zx9zx/my_boyfriend_tried_to_make_me_feel_better_but/
---
Iām about 3 weeks into recovery. Itās going pretty well, but thatās actually causing issues. Because I havenāt had slip-ups, my brain is trying to tell me I never had an ED in the first place. My therapist says thatās ridiculous. She reassured me that, at my worst, my eating disorder is life threatening and I was close to the line of ācan recover and make it out on my ownā and ātoo far goneā (what a strange thing to need reassurance about lol). One of her indicators for the life-threatening aspect was how low my heart rate was before I started recovery. I brought this up to my boyfriend. His response to the number was āno, thatās perfectly fineā. My ED took that and spiraled. Itās telling me he doesnāt think I was ever that sick and that I really wasnāt ever that sick and if thatās the case then I might as well go back to old habits because everything was āperfectly fineā. Part of me doesnāt want to ruin all of the work Iāve put in, but the ED voice just got all the fuel it needs from that one little comment.
Sorry, I just needed to get this off my chest. Iāll probably talk to him about it later.
Had to take frenemy's measurements
/u/ummyeahokay [5'5" | 116 | 19.5 | -32 | 28F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 08:32:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zx9gd/had_to_take_frenemys_measurements/
---
And we have the same measurements!! She was sending in measurements for a modeling gig with my roommate and they called me in because they know I sew. I was convinced she was smaller. We are the same weight, same waist, same hips - I'm thrilled, but at the same time she looks so much better than me and that hurts šØ
Edit: on mobile, can't flair - please tag "rant/rave". Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] I lost five pounds...the healthy way!
/u/helpingmyselftoday
Created: Sat Feb 24 08:19:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zx6oj/i_lost_five_poundsthe_healthy_way/
---
I was underweight and losing my senior year of high school (under 110 at 5'5), and I felt very anxious about food and eating and calories. I was a cross country runner. I swung the other way in college, and developed binge eating disorder to cope with my mom getting paralyzed from a surgery while I was studying abroad. My highest weight was around 145 pounds, just on the cusp of overweight. I was scared to lose weight, because I might go back to my restrictive tendencies. But, just about three weeks ago, I decided that I was going to lose weight...healthily. I started at 138.8, and I tracked all my food in myfitnesspal. There was never a day where I ate below 1,500 calories or over 2,000 (I run about twenty miles a week, it should be noted). I am in the few days before my period, so I kind of dreaded weighing myself this morning because I figured I might start retaining water soon and I hate seeing the number go up, even if I know it's water weight....but the scale is at 133.8 exactly. Five pounds! And I've had enough energy, I can do my exercise, I don't feel like passing out when I stand up like I did in high school, I haven't binged once, AND, what I'm most impressed with, I'm doing this as a vegan in a college dining hall where I have to estimate the calorie count of things.
I feel so happy and proud that I'm doing this. My first goal weight is 130, my ultimate goal weight is 125...still within a healthy range.
I still obsess about food a fair amount, but by keeping stuff like frozen blueberries, individual hummus cups, black bean soup cups and 100 cal popcorn in my room has led to me feeling much safer "binge wise" as most of my binges were caused by not having any readily available food, so I'd go buy a pack of Oreos and down the whole thing.
I feel like this is the true test of beating my eating disorder and I'm loving it!
[Help] Nausea while fasting?
/u/bloomoonxx [5"8 | BMI: 19 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 08:02:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zx33d/nausea_while_fasting/
---
REALLY donāt wanna break my fast. I might have to I feel so nauseous. Anyway to stop this? Is this normal?
Does anybody wear a red bracelet?
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7 | 121 | 18.95 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Sat Feb 24 08:02:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zx2zn/does_anybody_wear_a_red_bracelet/
---
[removed]
Unconventional motivation for resisting cravings: Buddhism! I found this really insightful.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 07:59:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zx2aj/unconventional_motivation_for_resisting_cravings/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=351752KBPE4
[Tip] Unlikely motivation: Understanding and breaking the power of cravings using buddhism?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 07:56:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zx1tl/unlikely_motivation_understanding_and_breaking/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=351752KBPE4
[Help] Motivation?
/u/steamedbun_27 [165cm | too much / GW: 53kg | idk | -27kg | F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 07:54:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zx1bp/motivation/
---
Today is my first day restricting after getting out of a binge cycle from hell. I've restricted before, but usually never make it to three days. Need some motivation so that I can clear the week and hopefully lose all the weight before May (I'm graduating then!)
[Help] Indian takeaway HELP
/u/1-800-R-U-PRAYING
Created: Sat Feb 24 06:55:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zwpq3/indian_takeaway_help/
---
My friend is coming round tonight and he wants to get takeaway (Indian). I've been trying and failing to fast but I've been unable to dodge family :(
I need something 600cal or less that I can order without looking like I'm trying not to eat
edit: I ordered vegetable korma and ate like a pig :( it was really good though...
[Tip] Ironically, you can learn a lot about how to eat less from buffets
/u/PM_ME_YOUR_RIBS_
Created: Sat Feb 24 06:53:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zwpbk/ironically_you_can_learn_a_lot_about_how_to_eat/
---
Buffets do everything they can to make you eat less to save money such as small utensils, small colorful plates, and tables a few inches shorter so you have to bend a little (constricting your stomach).
š
[Rant/Rave] So today is of to a great start...
/u/fatty_mayonaise [5'7'' | jabba | GW 112 | -14 | 29F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 06:28:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zwkqo/so_today_is_of_to_a_great_start/
---
https://i.redd.it/g4fwgl0fx5i01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My life is pathetic
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 05:48:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zwe45/my_life_is_pathetic/
---
I lost all emotion years ago but it came back last night. Iāve been trying this half ass recovery thing, I hate it, I hate my existence. Who spends a vacation day doing 8 hours of cardio then crying when her legs are massively swollen? I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in months and just broke down. I went to the store and wasted another $100 on nuts, chewed and spit for 3 hours, felt the predictable shame and cried myself to sleep 4 hours later. Iām so tired! Itās my last days of vacation and I just want to be fucking normal not counting every morsel and moving nearly as long as most people work. I just keep getting fatter and have no one to talk to, no one gets this hell.
[Help] Caught in a binge cycle. Help appreciated.
/u/hmptrw
Created: Sat Feb 24 05:32:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zwbno/caught_in_a_binge_cycle_help_appreciated/
---
As the title says Iām caught in a binge cycle, and I have been for about a week or two but itās started to show on the scale now and Iād like to nip it in the bud.
Iām struggling now to restrict like I was before. I was consuming 900cals a day, and it felt so easy, but since Christmas it feels almost impossible.
I guess Iām just asking for advice on this, preferably from girls who struggle with binging regularly and in high quantities*. This is the only community Iād really trust in this, because it doesnāt seem to promote the standard ~ana tips and tricks~ that donāt really work for binge eaters (typically).
*I donāt intend that to minimise the struggles of people who donāt binge into high numbers, I just specified that because itās not specific to my problem. Weāre all in a similar boat and no one problem is worse than anotherās.
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! February 24, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Feb 24 05:11:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zw8di/stupid_questions_saturday_february_24_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for February 24, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 24, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Feb 24 05:10:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zw8cl/daily_food_diary_february_24_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 24, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Tip] Turnips are the new cauliflower
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 111 | 20.3 | -24 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 04:10:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zvzxi/turnips_are_the_new_cauliflower/
---
Most of us probably have heard of subbing rice for cauliflower but have you tried subbing potato for turnip?? Itās a super similar texture and like 2/3s less calories than potato. Iāve been putting them in soup and itās been m a g i c a l
[Rant/Rave] Ah.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 04:02:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zvys3/ah/
---
[deleted]
Post binge fasting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 03:55:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zvxsk/post_binge_fasting/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zvxsk/post_binge_fasting/
[Rant/Rave] Unplanned binge from hell. I want to die.
/u/itsalwaysthesaame [5'6" | CW 128lb | GW 118lb | 20.74]
Created: Sat Feb 24 03:18:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zvssq/unplanned_binge_from_hell_i_want_to_die/
---
Last week my coworker insisted we order in food for our lunch break. I had already had a large meal before work and wasn't planning on eating much more. I tried to avoid it, then I tried to at least pick a place that had healthy options; it didn't work out. It was huge portion, greasy fried food.
When I finally decided on my order, they pestered me to get a side dish on top of it. I said I would be too full over and over, but they wouldn't let up. So I did.
I was full before I was even halfway done my meal. I kept going until every scrap was consumed.
My stomach hurt and I was ashamed. I didn't even want this in the first place.
Then I starting eating snacks on top of all this. I made sure no one was around to see me. I ate a Quest bar that tasted like thick chemical garbage and regretted it the entire time.
I spent half an hour in the bathroom seriously considering purging for the first time. Not even to avoid calories, just to stop my stomach from feeling like it was going to rip.
By the time I got home, I had calmed enough to be able to find solace in the fact that 3000-4000 calories one day won't ruin progress.
Then I took sedatives, laid in bed and ate tortilla chips and salsa with avocado chunks. FUCK!
The last few days haven't been much better, but at least I'm eating closer to maintenance than progress-destroying binges. I can't believe how much I've contemplated self harm/suicide lately. All because of this shit...
[Other] Let's add each other on Peach?
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Sat Feb 24 02:31:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zvm5m/lets_add_each_other_on_peach/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I have to wear a uniform that I ordered at my pre binge weight
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Sat Feb 24 02:17:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zvkf5/i_have_to_wear_a_uniform_that_i_ordered_at_my_pre/
---
[removed]
Platues will ruin me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 24 02:09:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zvjgr/platues_will_ruin_me/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zvjgr/platues_will_ruin_me/
[Rant/Rave] Well, something bad finally happened that will force me to change my ways...
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | CW 113.6 | GW 100 | 26F]
Created: Sat Feb 24 01:45:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zvg9n/well_something_bad_finally_happened_that_will/
---
After years of c/s binges, something really bad has finally happened that makes me really regret ever starting this stupid habit.
Last night I was brushing my teeth as usual before bed and a chunk of one of my bottom teeth fell out. The worst part is it's a piece right above the gum line so the tooth is now super sensitive. I went for a walk this morning, it's a bit chilly out, and I could feel pain from the cold air in my busted tooth. I've had dental problems before, but they were just regular cavities that got filled and my dentist always chalked it up to "acidic saliva".
To make matters worse I'm still living abroad so if I want to get this looked at, I will have to navigate the insurance procedures and try to communicate my problem in another language.
I guess it was bound to happen eventually... I just wish it wasn't now. I wish I had never picked up the habits that I have in the first place. If I could go back in time I would slap myself for thinking c/s was so clever, that I could taste "bad" food and not gain weight from it. Ugh :(
[Rant/Rave] I Hate My Birthday
/u/datmanateelife
Created: Sat Feb 24 01:38:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zvfef/i_hate_my_birthday/
---
Flare rant, please.
I've been so excited for my birthday. I thought that for the weekend, I'd be able to eat what I want and not count calories.
I'm laying here at 3 am now panicking because I overate for dinner tonight. How many calories did I eat? Why did I feel like I could eat pasta with creamy sauce? I could have had a salad. I should have eaten a salad. Why didn't I stop eating when I felt almost full? I just wish that I could vomit it up and take it all back. But it's too late for that.
I have two more days of "celebration". All of my friends will be there, so I can't really restrict. I starved myself all week so that I could eat this weekend, but I guess that doesn't help. I'm going to ruin all of my progress.
Why can't I just enjoy my birthday like a normal person...
[Help] How to avoid saggy butt without a gym membership?
/u/ellenberry
Created: Sat Feb 24 01:27:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zvduv/how_to_avoid_saggy_butt_without_a_gym_membership/
---
So i have wide hips and i have a lovehate relationship with my large buns but now that im losing, ive noticed im wide but my butt is deflating ;( and my shape isnt as nice. What are some gym/equipment-free ways to keep a perky booty?
[Discussion] DAE watch pimple popping/blackhead/botfly/etc. removals on YouTube to put themselves off food?
/u/kinaadman [CW: FAT | GW: 90lbs]
Created: Sat Feb 24 00:14:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zv3dq/dae_watch_pimple_poppingblackheadbotflyetc/
---
And do you have any favorites?
[Rant/Rave] Iām afraid to sleep
/u/HappinessIsClose [5'9.5 | 157.5 | 22.9 | -4.2 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 23:49:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zuzm9/im_afraid_to_sleep/
---
Itās 1:44 AM and I canāt bring myself to go upstairs, take a shower, and go to bed. If I do, Iām just gonna see and feel all the fat on my body all over again. I donāt think I can handle that.
Why canāt I ever change? Itās so sad that eating is really the only thing that makes me feel fulfilled anymore. But then afterwards I end up where I am now, too ashamed and too low to even do something as simple as look at myself.
Thanks for reading, just needed to say it to someone.
[Discussion] DAE binge just so you can purge?
/u/finnkat
Created: Fri Feb 23 23:47:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zuzb0/dae_binge_just_so_you_can_purge/
---
I feel like purging is addicting, once I start I just have to keep going, eating more and purging more, sometimes for days or even a week at a time. And not even because I'm hungry or craving food but because I just want to purge so bad. It's a disaster. This may be TMI but my mom's room is right next to the bathroom and I usually purge at night so instead of doing it in the bathroom where I could get caught I do it up in my loft in bags. It takes so much time to prep and clean up and it smells terrible but I can't stop. At least I sleep hard after I'm done I guess...does anyone else deal with anything like this?
[Rant/Rave] Found the perfect blue plate (for appetite suppression, naturally)
/u/exgravitas [F/25/160 | CW ā¹ļø | GW 48.5]
Created: Fri Feb 23 23:34:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zux6n/found_the_perfect_blue_plate_for_appetite/
---
https://i.imgur.com/Qf3nkT6.jpg
Found the perfect blue plate (for appetite suppression)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 23 23:32:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zuwv2/found_the_perfect_blue_plate_for_appetite/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] My whole family seems borderline disordered... Or am I projecting?
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 88 | BMI 14.6| 17F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 22:43:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zuolc/my_whole_family_seems_borderline_disordered_or_am/
---
So I've been visiting my relatives and omg I've never felt less strange. Now I am in recovery mode so I try my very best not to count cals and not skip meals. Fuck snacks though....
So while I've been here I am very weird about my food and my family knows I have a problem and they are surprisingly pretty supportive. So they let me go off and eat alone since having 10 ppl staring at me eating is my definition of a nightmare.
But enough about me. Be my grandma.
Frail and skinny lady, very kind but honestly an awful cook. Anything she makes is disgusting and slathered in this nasty low calorie butter spread. Yet she eats almost nothing portion wise, and is very eager to feed everyone else. Everything here is diet/low cal. Even stuff that is dumb to have a diet version of, like diet prune juice as a constipation remedy is watered down juice, so you'd just need to drink more.
Then there's my aunt. She stays in her room all day and I see her come down in the afternoon for nothing more than black coffee and a 100cal yogurt. Then I sometimes see her for dinner and she presumably eats nothing else. She is also very very thin.
Is it just me or are they weird?? Almost reminds me of myself.
[Discussion] I just realized I have an inverted triangle body shape
/u/arrrrze
Created: Fri Feb 23 21:38:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zucr0/i_just_realized_i_have_an_inverted_triangle_body/
---
I think this is why I always feel like Iām bigger than I actually am. My measurements are so.. weird.. My shoulders are wider than my hips. Iām never going to not notice this now. Anyone else have this body shape?
[Discussion] Precision.
/u/honeymilk66 [5'2 | cw: 127 lbs | -43 lbs | gw: 98 lbs]
Created: Fri Feb 23 21:23:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zu9oi/precision/
---
my foodscale broke so i've been looking at [this](http://a.co/c6cR1kK) one on amazon. i think it's pretty cool because it comes with a nutrition calculator feature. there's about 2000 built in foods and you can add 100.
but i don't know how much i trust the built in nutrition facts. it reminds me of those weird situations when you have to use the generic myfitnesspal stats. i always feel like it's inaccurate. i'll probably still buy it, though, because i can add in my own specific foods.
but does anyone else feel this way? like they can't trust generic calorie counts? also, what's your opinion on that scale?
[Tip] low calorie cider/beer alternative
/u/HeartSecret
Created: Fri Feb 23 20:53:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zu3vn/low_calorie_ciderbeer_alternative/
---
https://www.wildtonic.com
[Discussion] DAE see other people and wonder if theyāre on here too?
/u/Arcadian_Archangel [5ā9|š: arcadianskye]
Created: Fri Feb 23 20:18:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ztwv8/dae_see_other_people_and_wonder_if_theyre_on_here/
---
I see amazingly thin (probably too thin for normies) on public transport all the time and I just canāt help have this internal struggle of, fuck you you naturally skinny bitch or Iām so sorry youāre like me. Like I donāt actually hate them but just so much envy and curiosity.
Also shout out to the girl in the red top on the 345. Ya skinny bitch š
[Rant/Rave] Ugh
/u/dre-ezy [5ā4 | CW 101.2 | ftm ]
Created: Fri Feb 23 20:06:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ztucu/ugh/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I think I have a thigh gap
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | high | large | Gender: death]
Created: Fri Feb 23 19:52:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ztrm0/i_think_i_have_a_thigh_gap/
---
I think i really have a thigh gap? i can never be sure if I'm just posing my body weird so that i like what I'm seeing the mirror.
i think i might have a real one...but I'm so motherfucking mind-numbingly disgustingly ugly. LoL
my goal was to have a thigh gap and be a size zero. i guess my new goal is 88 lb
[Rant/Rave] 17 hours into 72 hour fast
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Feb 23 19:24:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ztlpi/17_hours_into_72_hour_fast/
---
[removed]
[Help] Question for vaping community
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 108 |18| GW:105 | -37 | 20F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 19:12:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ztj9i/question_for_vaping_community/
---
I was just wondering what the ED experience is with vaping? I hear that it's awesome because you can taste sweet things without eating them. My only worry is that it could trigger binges or cause cravings. Before I go and buy one, do you guys have any experiences with vaping or suggestions? Do they help cravings or worsen them? Also any suggestions for beginner vaping if you think I should go for it would be lovely!
[Other] Crazy how fast cals add up.
/u/cluelessnumber7
Created: Fri Feb 23 18:50:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ztegn/crazy_how_fast_cals_add_up/
---
https://i.redd.it/8tfzavhvg2i01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Thinspo friend's comments about my binges
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 23 18:26:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zt9ev/thinspo_friends_comments_about_my_binges/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] did you have a small victory today? let's hear it! ā”( ā”āæā” )
/u/reallysmallsnail [5'7 | cw: 144 | gw: tiny | 22.5 | f |]
Created: Fri Feb 23 18:07:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zt58w/did_you_have_a_small_victory_today_lets_hear_it/
---
mine is that i didn't get diarrhea at the gym like i was afraid i would (because i broke my really low restriction streak with 1500ish calories of pasta and i know that *shit happens* )
what is yours? and if you didn't have one, let me know so i can give you a hug.
[Other] Too real...
/u/Zoombinis [24 F | 5'8" (172 cm) | CW: 122 lbs (55.33 kg) | GW: Flat belly]
Created: Fri Feb 23 17:57:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zt32z/too_real/
---
https://i.redd.it/agsjtugi2yh01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Ignorant friend
/u/lbredj [5'3" | 104 | BMI 18.1 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 17:19:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zsubf/ignorant_friend/
---
So my friend who i've known for like 2 years, knows that i have an ed. She talks a lot about how she should stop eating because she's fat blah blah blah, usually i don't let it get to me and just say to eat healthily but this is really getting on my nerves.
She knows i'm going through a lot right now (my panic attacks are becoming more frequent and my home life is shitty). She texted me this "i should stop eating, how long do you think i'll live off of a couple chips a day and soda??"
I really don't mean to sound mean, but when people talk like this (especially to someone they know has an ed!!) it makes me so fucking mad. I honestly don't know how to even respond to that.
People are so ignorant when it comes to ed's š
[Rant/Rave] has anyone else been triggered by being compared to someone average sized?
/u/HeartSecret
Created: Fri Feb 23 16:59:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zspl9/has_anyone_else_been_triggered_by_being_compared/
---
so, a co-worker of mine texted me about how someone who rarely comes around the office thought that she was me (iām out sick today). and she even mentioned itās because we are like the *only* racially ambiguous people in the office (everyone is really really caucasian otherwise). but sheās definitely heavier than i am. sheās not chubby or fat at all. sheās just normal.
but now. oh god. i am so triggered. itās good. iāve been eating too much anyway.
[Help] What are the small things I can do for my gf with ED?
/u/ayefam4321
Created: Fri Feb 23 16:55:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zsort/what_are_the_small_things_i_can_do_for_my_gf_with/
---
My gf and I have been going over for a little bit over a month now. I knew when we started going out that she'd had health problems in the past, but she never really explained what they fully were. Anyway, a couple of days ago we were having dinner and she explained that she was in the process of recovering from an ED, which had put her in a really bad place health wise last year.
Obviously this was a lot to take in and I'm ngl a bit scary, but this girl is so amazing that I'm committed to helping her through this process and giving her all the support she needs. I'm going to talk to her about the big picture stuff i.e. what does she want me to talk about with her, or how to handle subjects of food etc. because I'm sure these are individual to each person and no one answer will be the same.
However, I was wondering what are some of the small, little things I can do to help support her and her recovery. Whether its little comments or small actions, I just want to know what I can possibly do to be there for her and help her through this.
[Help] Feeling weird
/u/gabebega
Created: Fri Feb 23 16:34:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zsjo4/feeling_weird/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Why do I do this?
/u/warmbagel53
Created: Fri Feb 23 15:29:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zs3fp/why_do_i_do_this/
---
I always find myself watching videos on YouTube about weight loss and how to stay in shape. I have zero desire to lose any more weight right now, as I am 5'4" 95-97 lbs. I used to be 150 a couple years ago so maybe that is why?? Can anyone else relate??
[Help] How do you guys get flat tummies/not be skinny fat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 23 15:25:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zs2o1/how_do_you_guys_get_flat_tummiesnot_be_skinny_fat/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Does the trend of "crazy fat girls" in comedy make anyone else really uncomfortable?
/u/m_inimal
Created: Fri Feb 23 15:23:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zs1yv/does_the_trend_of_crazy_fat_girls_in_comedy_make/
---
I watch a lot of SNL clips and I love how comedically strong the female cast is right now (esp. Kate McKinnon, she's my one true love). But one thing I've noticed that makes me really sad and uncomfortable is how in SO MANY skits, Aidy Bryant (who, for those who don't know, is noticeably the most overweight of all the women in the cast) ends up playing the "fat, gross, socially weird, but funny" character. It seems like Melissa McCarthy has ended up typecast in this role a lot too, both in her movies and her guest skits on SNL.
Of course, there are a lot of women on SNL who play weird, quirky outcast types -- Kristen Wiig immediately comes to mind. But it seems like there's a unique element of "crazy and out of control" that keeps showing up in characters written for fat women.
I think deep down the reason why these type of bits/movies make me so uncomfortable is because I'm terrified of being perceived as the fat, obnoxious, out-of-control, totally unsexy woman whose only use to anyone is as comic relief. This probably stems from my childhood, because when I was younger (and fatter) I was also much louder, more attention-seeking, and probably came off as crazy a lot of the time. No boys ever seemed to have time for me, and I wasn't popular, but boy could I make people laugh!
And that's the part of myself that I hate. I don't mind being funny, but I would rather just be normal and respected. That's part of it too -- I almost feel *angry* when I watch these "funny fat woman" clips. Angry at the character for being so gross and obnoxious and disruptive. Angry at Melissa McCarthy or Aidy Bryant or whoever for continuing to take these roles that perpetuate the idea of big women as nothing but comic relief. Angry at everyone who's laughing because that idea is getting cemented in their heads, that "fat = funny and completely lacking dignity". And angry at myself for ever having come close to being *that girl* myself.
I think that's one of the most important things to me that I feel my ED is protecting me from. Not being *that* -- just the funny, obnoxious fat girl that I was in middle school. I'm better than that. I deserve to give myself better.
[Rant/Rave] I actually hate myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 23 14:00:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zrfm5/i_actually_hate_myself/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE almost want people to find out?
/u/blankethugs [5'2.5ā | 15F | CW: 106 š³ | GW: 90]
Created: Fri Feb 23 13:57:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zrevx/dae_almost_want_people_to_find_out/
---
I donāt want all of the stress and problems that would come with it, but Iād be lying if I said that I didnāt wish someone would just care enough to notice ā a teacher, a friend, anyone.
[Help] Water retention due to dehydration
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Feb 23 13:56:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zreh8/water_retention_due_to_dehydration/
---
How do you guys drink enough water??
I try so hard to drink water but I am still so dehydrated, especially when I am EC stacking. It is making me so bloated and I can feel all the water I am retaining, especially since i eat a lot of salty foods so I am constantly bloated.
Any tips to stay hydrated? I legit feel sick forcing myself to drink and I donāt get thirsty. And I have to go to the bathroom sooooo much. Itās miserable, I have like 7 lbs of water weight I need to lose ASAP.
[Help] Help me
/u/wild-ocean
Created: Fri Feb 23 13:34:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zr8jj/help_me/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] just a ramble-y rant
/u/fortunate-foolx [62 in. | CW:whale | GW: feather | -13 | 18F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 13:04:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zqzwj/just_a_rambley_rant/
---
I hate my boobs. I hate when my friends think it's okay to poke them and squish them because theyre squishy. I dont want ANY part of me to be squishy. I'm sick of being overweight and now i just want to hide. It makes me think of when my mom when insult me and squish my fat and make fun of me, even though it was almost entirely her fault that I was obese. The only "food" I ever got to have growing up was snack cakes and noodles and shitty processed junk. It reminds me that even though my mom "loved me" she killed herself anyway. Because i'm not good enough. Which equates to being fat and having huge boobs right? Why does my mind go from friends jokingly poking my squishy boobs to my mom killing herself because i couldnt stop her because im a worthless pile of fucking shit. theres something wrong with me
[Other] Treatment center diets are terrifying
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 12:01:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zqi3x/treatment_center_diets_are_terrifying/
---
https://i.redd.it/mt0cjatxf0i01.png
[Other] i hate badly programed ed treatment centers... though who doesn't?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 23 12:00:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zqhst/i_hate_badly_programed_ed_treatment_centers/
---
https://i.redd.it/lhv23gyof0i01.png
Restricting and Overeating
/u/bethjones11
Created: Fri Feb 23 12:00:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zqhrj/restricting_and_overeating/
---
[removed]
[Help] How to get through big celebration without overeating?
/u/moody_loser_caught
Created: Fri Feb 23 11:56:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zqgnt/how_to_get_through_big_celebration_without/
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So tomorrow there is my country's 100th independence day. So I asked my mother, what we will have tomorrow. And she answered salmon(probably with pepper, lemon and honey), boiled potatos with white breadcrumbs, green salad (salad, tomato, chickpeas), cabbage pie (leavened dough), chocolate cream cheese and melting moments aka. Cookies with lemon cream.
So I wanted to ask what would you recommend to take only a little, what normal/medium portion and what to not take at all (tho it's quite sad bc I actually really like food). I want to eat about 1000 calories that day but I will probably eat a 100 calorie lunch before.
Also sorry about confusing explanation. Also I want to congratulate the other estonians for Estonia's big birthday.
[Help] Calling all my high restriction bitches
/u/fatterfly [5'4" | 24F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 11:27:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zq8ij/calling_all_my_high_restriction_bitches/
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So I've officially lost quite a bit of the binge weight I've put on! Lost 3 BMI points and now I'm well below 25. :)
I wanna make the transition from extremely low restriction to high restriction and I desperately need advice on how to do it. I feel terribly uncomfortable when I'm full and I get extremely anxious about high numbers. If I'd gained so much as half a pound when I was restricting to 500 a day, I'd actually convince myself to eat less because 'I wouldn't have gained if I were restricting enough'.
I know high restriction is the most sustainable option. I know high restrictors still binge, but it's impossible for me to fall into a 6 month long binge cycle like I did when I was low restricting. I want to give high restriction a shot and I would appreciate any advice!
My main issues: anxiety from eating 1200+ kcal, possibility of blaming high restriction for weight fluctuation, feeling too full and binging because fuck it I'm a pig anyway
Any advice on this would be incredibly helpful. <3
[Help] I have to up my calorie intake because I feel like shit all the time but I'm so scared
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 124 | BMI: 24.2 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 11:22:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zq732/i_have_to_up_my_calorie_intake_because_i_feel/
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My goal weight is 20 pounds away.
I don't feel thin. I still feel gigantic.
Right now I'm high restricting and averaging around 800 calories a day but it's not enough and I can feel it. I'm at the end of my period right now and I can tell I'm not eating enough, I feel shaky and lightheaded and always have a headache.
But my TDEE is 1470 and if I go back up to 1200 my weight loss is going to slow down to like a pound a month. I don't know if I can handle that.
But it's like, affecting my ability to work. I feel so fatigued and shitty and I just overcompensate with caffeine and water and I know 800 sounds like a lot to some of you but it's clearly just... not enough and I don't know how to accept that and eat more.
How can I stop being afraid of eating more? There are plenty of girls on 1200isplenty eating 1200 and losing who are short but I'm exceptionally short and I'm seriously afraid it's going to be too high. Should I try to aim for 1000? I don't know how to eat like a fucking regular person and I'm so scared of upping my intake because my weight loss has already slowed down so much as I'm getting smaller. I just had a good 3 pound woosh but before that I was at 127 for like 2 weeks.
I just feel really stuck and lost and I know I'm unhealthy and I don't know how to change that without eating more and that scares the shit out of me.
[Rant/Rave] Friend is doing a 'pouch reset'
/u/Size666 [5'8F | CW: Walrus | -42lbs | UGW: 113]
Created: Fri Feb 23 10:26:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zpqqg/friend_is_doing_a_pouch_reset/
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She sent me the plan - it's basically a 10 day water fast for people who have had gastic bypass and have been overeating so they need to "reset" the size of their stomach.
[If you're curious, here it is.](https://obesitycoverag-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/10DayPouchReset.jpg)
I just find it so funny that when I say I'm aiming for a 10 day fast, people freak the fuck out, but when someone *who literally threw their stomach away to get skinny* is going to go on a 10 day fast, it's actually encouraged by the medical professionals. Reminded me of a comment someone said the other day about how the sub 1200isPlenty has a lot of overlap with the "shameful practices" we whisper about here, but somehow it's okay over there!
People are ridiculous.
[Discussion] DAE equate thinness with goodness?
/u/AnimalCount
Created: Fri Feb 23 09:56:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zpi43/dae_equate_thinness_with_goodness/
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I know that I'm wrong to do so, but I sincerely see fat people as being inherently *bad* and thin people as being inherently good. It's like the modern *anorexia mirabilis*. I feel like I am a bad, slovenly person when I overeat but when I don't, I feel stable and clean and good. I suppose this might be a manifestation of my OCD. But I just can't look at a thin person and at first impression see them as bad, even though I may come to find they are. But I have very little faith in those who are bigger and often feel that they have ulterior motives with me.
[Discussion] Veg protein sources? Also, BREADY THINGS?
/u/dethleib [5'3 | CW: 115 | CGW: 110 | UGW: 96 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 09:26:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zp9gp/veg_protein_sources_also_bready_things/
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So tracking my food in Fitbit has pointed out that I pretty much eat all carbs. This sucks because I know protein and fat make you feel full longer, and I would like to minimize muscle loss etc. I just feel so limited in options. I see a lot of people rely on tuna, or chicken, but I'm a mostly vegan vegetarian so that's a no-go.
The only thing I found that I really enjoy, is spoonfuls of pb2 and smoked tofu. If I chop up the tofu into little matchsticks I can pick them up and I call it protein fries LOL a good meal basically all protein for around 160 calories. But I also don't want to eat tofu everyday. So, tell me, what are your favorite veggie sources of protein???
Also, does anyone have any go to recipes for bread like items? I live on crispbreads and rice cakes now but I really want to have tortilla pizza but no where around here stocks any of those low calorie tortillas šš that, and if anyone has a good substitute for buns I would be forever in your debt.
[Help] Eternal eye bags
/u/uforgan
Created: Fri Feb 23 09:22:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zp8ac/eternal_eye_bags/
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This is equal parts rant and help, and may not be the best place to ask this but I'm stumped.
I've had very noticeable under eye bags since my ed started, and even before then in my childhood photos I have dark/sunken in eyes. I drank/drink plenty of water, and my only deficiencies are vitamin b12 which I'm working on. I get plenty of sleep and take good care of my skin. I'm tired (hah) of people thinking I'm sick/sad/hung over/not sleeping well because of how they look- I've tried concealers and foundations but even when the colour isn't as dark they are still saggy. I'm only 20 so age shouldn't be a factor.
Does anyone have any advice, or am I doomed?
When the dress you ordered is too small and youāre debating on sizing up or just fasting until it fits :ā)
/u/massages-in-dc [5'8" | 122 | 18.5 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 09:11:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zp5dv/when_the_dress_you_ordered_is_too_small_and_youre/
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[removed]
[Help] questions for drunkorexics
/u/broknbird
Created: Fri Feb 23 08:50:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zozhv/questions_for_drunkorexics/
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do you limit what times you can drink? like a start and stop time?
how many standard units would you estimate you consume daily? (one unit = a shot, 1 beer, 1 glass wine etc).
what type/s of alcohol do you consume?I
TIA!
[Rant/Rave] My friends ābaby weightā is my current weight :(
/u/peachhh629
Created: Fri Feb 23 08:44:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zoxp2/my_friends_baby_weight_is_my_current_weight/
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So my friend just made a cute tumblr about getting rid of her baby weight. She only weighed about 98lbs before baby as sheās v petite and she wrote a post saying now she weighs 140 and that its she highest she ever been in her life and she hates it. I cringed a bit because 140 is what I weigh now and Iāve been doing well and lost 9lbs already... Altho I can understand why she wants to lose baby weight, 140 looks fine on her and sheās athletic! It looks extremely different on me because Iām a few inches shorter. I bet most of hers isnāt even fat. Anyway I dunno why Iām posting but it made me feel ashamed to hear a non-disordered person be disgusted at being my weight and deem it unacceptable and want to get rid of it as quick as possible. I know itās not personal to me but Iām gonna head to the gym ASAP. I feel unbearableā¤ļø thanks for reading
[Rant/Rave] Finally the scale is moving!
/u/agent_philcoulson [5'4" | CW: 135 | GW: 120 | UGW: 110]
Created: Fri Feb 23 08:42:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zox6q/finally_the_scale_is_moving/
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A few months ago I started heavily restricting but the scale was not moving. But I was eating a lot of shitty foods and a lot of carbs.
Two weeks ago I decided to try eating healthier and started a lazy keto diet. I haven't been counting my calories at all. I managed to loose 2 pounds in two weeks!
Amazing :) Going to stick to this and hopefully I won't have to starve myself anymore.
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] tfw I work out what my boyfriend wants to cook for dinner and it's like 1300+ cal for portion size...
/u/pikapika350
Created: Fri Feb 23 07:48:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zojd1/rantrave_tfw_i_work_out_what_my_boyfriend_wants/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Called out by a co-worker in the break room. I want to shrink into nothing and disappear.
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 298.4 | Goal: 270 | 46.7 | 0 | F ]
Created: Fri Feb 23 07:48:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zoj6r/called_out_by_a_coworker_in_the_break_room_i_want/
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I've been feeling like shit all morning because I can't focus due to my untreated ADHD, and I'm sure I'm gonna lose my job soon because of it. So break time finally rolls around, and I decide to stress eat to make myself feel better, so I get the big otis spunkenmeyer cookie out of the refrigerated vending machine. Then I think, hey I can beat this ADHD if I assign positive reinforcement to work activities, so I buy a bag of little cookies I can eat throughout the day as I get things done. Then one of my child alters (she's 5) from my DID pipes up internally and says we ought to get milk, so it'll be milk and cookies so I do because she's sweet and I can't say no.
Well, a coworker, known for making jokes and with a rather loud voice, meaning everyone pays attention to him when he speaks goes: "She got the big cookie, she got the little cookies, *and* she's going for a milk!" Nearly everyone in the breakroom looks directly at me. Thanks for drawing everyone's attention to my eating disorder, I really needed everyone to know how much I eat.
I want to die right now. I wish I could just shrink into nothingness and disappear, of course, now I'm eating it all, because I can't stop myself because my ED disorder is out of control.
I feel like an absolute basket case, and I really just want to go home, but the idea of it fills me with anxiety because that's just another thing to get fired for.
[Goal] Almost down 100lb!
/u/tjmacd
Created: Fri Feb 23 07:41:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zohol/almost_down_100lb/
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I've always had bad eating habits, last year working 100+ hours a week constantly flying between Boston and Vancouver took its toll and I ended up eating all of my meals from a gas station (Doritos, chocolate and monster for breakfast and Stuff like that) when my company put me in Toronto for good I decided to try and get back to where I was in college (115)and here I am less than a year later down from my highest weight 289 now at 192 and got my size large chef coat yesterday and tossed out all my old XL ones and it was the best feeling ever. First time I actually felt proud in a while.
[Help] They're gonna start noticing.....I'm mildly panicking
/u/my_stupid_name [5'2" | ohgodno | -24# since 1/1/18 | Female]
Created: Fri Feb 23 06:48:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zo56v/theyre_gonna_start_noticingim_mildly_panicking/
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Ok so I've been heavy for all of my life. All of it. People in my life are very used to seeing me as the fat one.
Just since New Years though, I've managed to get my shit together and am finally losing weight.
Thing is, though, I'm absolutely terrified that at some point, people will notice and say something. They'll mean well, they'll mean to encourage me, but it just fucks with my head SO much.
I have literally no idea how to respond if someone asks if I've lost weight, because I freeze. I'll lie and deny it, rather than tell them I have, because the inevitable next question is
"How are you doing it? What's your diet?"
And I sure as hell can't tell them that I'm water fasting 72 hours a week and have all but given up all carbs and soda and I'm going to the gym fairly regularly and ughhhhhhhhhhhhh
How can I dodge this, you guys?
For right now I'm wearing extra layers under sweaters that are getting too baggy, but it'll be warmer soon......halp!
[Goal] Some bad news. Some good news. Some amazing news!
/u/Deviiation [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 23.68 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Fri Feb 23 06:20:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7znyvb/some_bad_news_some_good_news_some_amazing_news/
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I don't know how much I weigh at the minute. I've been in hospital for a few days for the DTs. The drink money ran out and I went loopy. That's the bad news.
The good news is that I'm loaded up on proper detox meds and should be able to have nothing but small nightcaps in a couple of days.
The amazing news is ā I don't know if it's just the reflection in the window distorting it, as there's no mirror, but I seem to have a thigh gap!
[Discussion] February 22nd and 23rd, 2018 Questions of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 06:17:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zny82/february_22nd_and_23rd_2018_questions_of_the_day/
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22nd: What was your prevailing emotion for the day?
23rd: Whatās the most embarrassing purchase on a recent credit card statement? (lol)
[Rant/Rave] I made it to my lowest adult weight :ā) 20 lbs lost
/u/pepperygyal [5'1 | CW:127 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 05:30:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7znp37/i_made_it_to_my_lowest_adult_weight_20_lbs_lost/
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So for a while I was stuck at 125-127. Iām finally on vacation and of course I ditch everyone at breakfast to hit the gym. I weighed in today at 123. So yea Iām here in this hotel gym crying tears of joy because it felt like it took SOOO LONG to get to this weight. I canāt believe I went from 143, it all feels surreal for me.
I hope everyone has a good day and remember anything is possible! š
Ps. I really really really hope I donāt ruin this progress while on holiday. Wish me luck ā¤ļøā¤ļø
[Rant/Rave] Watching my coworkers eat junk food makes me irrationally happy
/u/redbullandregrets
Created: Fri Feb 23 05:22:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7znnlt/watching_my_coworkers_eat_junk_food_makes_me/
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Today we have a work outing and I suggested this pizza and burger place we usually hit up like a week ago knowing full well I'm fasting for lent (what's up Catholic life) and a few days ago I was like oops I completely forgot I couldn't eat any of that stuff so I'm just going to eat a salad instead (no dressing, no croutons, no cheese) and watch them gorge themselves on 1500+ calorie meals, not including the greasy apps and huge desserts they always get. I know it's so bad, but it makes me feel some sort of satisfaction when the same people who always make backhanded comments about my low cal meals constantly eat a bunch of fattening foods and complain about how their slow metabolisms are the only reason why they're not thin.
EDIT: I'm preemptively saying I know my thoughts are wrong, but I just need to vent somewhere safe because when everyone around me thinks I'm somehow "lucky" to be thinner, moments like these can be validating. Again I'm really sorry and I can delete if anyone wants me to.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! February 23, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 23 05:13:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7znlyy/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for February 23, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 23, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 23 05:13:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7znlxm/daily_food_diary_february_23_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 23, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] 900 cal limit today. I need ideas for filling meals guys!
/u/bronte__
Created: Fri Feb 23 05:05:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7znkjv/900_cal_limit_today_i_need_ideas_for_filling/
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Was thinking about making lettuce tacos but not sure the best and lowest way is to do that? What's the calorie situ with quorn mince? I feel like I need a hot meal, it's been a while.
Any ideas? Off to the shops now!
I was asked to a semi-formal party but I just ended my biggest and longest binge phase and I'm the heaviest I've ever been
/u/ilikecocoakrispies [5'1 | HW: 140 | CW: 135 | GW:100 | š:kyoops]
Created: Fri Feb 23 03:19:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zn35q/i_was_asked_to_a_semiformal_party_but_i_just/
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[removed]
[Other] Health problem leads to biggest ED help of all time? Elemental Diet
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 117 | BMI 18.5?| -15 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 03:11:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zn1s6/health_problem_leads_to_biggest_ed_help_of_all/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE lie about food sensitivities
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword
Created: Fri Feb 23 02:32:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zmvu9/dae_lie_about_food_sensitivities/
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Literally always say shit like āomg my stomach just does not like breadā (lie) āI think I have a gluten sensitivityā (lie) āI donāt really like XYZā (lie I like everything)
Itās the best excuse to not eat things sometimes. Just super awkward with how inconsistent I am with it lol. I always end up eating a shit ton of bread on the weekends but all of a sudden during the week my tummy canāt handle it.
How does no one notice how inconsistent I am with this??? Whatever.
Anyone else do this?
[Help] Bad taste in mouth?
/u/glossboy
Created: Fri Feb 23 01:36:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zmnbr/bad_taste_in_mouth/
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I've been restricting again since Monday so it's been about 4 days and I'm getting this weird taste in my mouth. I've been downing like 2 diet cokes a day. I usually don't drink that much. This is also the first time I'm restricting to this lower amount. Does this have to do with ketosis or is it something else?
It tastes gross but doesn't smell? It's like a disgusting umami flavor that won't go away. Low-key kind of makes me want to throw up. I'm wondering if it's the diet coke... I think I might cut that out for now.
I keep trying to get rid of the bad taste with the soda but it won't go away and it's driving me insane. It's making me want to eat food to get rid of the taste or not want to eat because the taste is that bad.
[Rant/Rave] I don't feel like myself anymore. I always feel tired and nauseated.
/u/Zoombinis [24 F | 5'8" (172 cm) | CW: 122 lbs (55.33 kg) | GW: Flat belly]
Created: Fri Feb 23 00:15:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zma87/i_dont_feel_like_myself_anymore_i_always_feel/
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I am 5'8" and used to be 90 lbs. After I worked on my depression over many years, my weight stopped being a concern. I fluctuate between 120-130... I don't actively try to restrict, but when I'm going through a stressful time I love seeing my weight go down. I went through a bad breakup last year and was back down to 115, but had to stop losing or I could lose my Vyvanse prescription which I need for school. Ended back up at 130 once things got better.
This semester I'm working on my thesis and ifs very stressful. Now I'm down to 122 again and the weight loss feels miserable. It used to give me energy, a heightened sense of control, an elevated ego and more confidence. Beaming. Now I feel sluggish, tired, unmotivated and exhausted. I hate eating because I feel like I'm losing my progress but I just can't get anything done like this anymore
[Discussion] Is anyone else self-hating and narcissistic at once
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | high | large | Gender: death]
Created: Fri Feb 23 00:09:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zm8zh/is_anyone_else_selfhating_and_narcissistic_at_once/
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* 2:04 AM - *I'm skinnier than Joy from Red Velvet.*
* 2:06 AM - *I haven't lost anything. I will always be disgusting and huge.*
* 2:07 AM - *Okay but I think I'm just a little bigger than Kendall Jenner. I'm skinny as Angelina Jolie probably.*
* 2:10 AM - *I'm so disgusting.*
**am i the only one always in this spiral?**
(Sidenote:
I was going through this cycle and decided to measure my legs to "introduce objectivity" or whatever since I never know what I look like. I'm a size 0 most places and half of the pants I own from months ago now fall off my body, so I was hoping measuring myself would be reassuring.
*I have the same thigh measurement (22in) at size 0 I did when I was a size 4.*
Maybe I measured wrong then and was actually bigger than 22in? I have no idea what could be the matter. I hate this endless spiral. I'm always lying to myself about being thinner than I am. I'm never thin.)
[Rant/Rave] Just took my boyfriends measurements.
/u/andromedagalaxxy [5'6.5 | 128 | 20.4 | -19 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 23 00:08:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zm8y5/just_took_my_boyfriends_measurements/
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I'm 5'6.5, 128 lbs.
bust: 33
waist: 25
hips: 37.5
upper thigh: 22
Mid: 19.5
Lower: 15
Calf: 14
He's 6'3.5, 172 lbs. He's a rail and has long, thin legs. Long story short he has the exact same leg measurements except 15.5 inch lower thighs. And 38 inch chest, 31 inch waist, and 37 inch hips. I don't understand how his bmi is 21.2 and mine is 20.4...
He's so much taller but still the same leg measurements. His legs are 36.5 inches long and mine are 31.5. My legs are so big :/ and hips. I even calculated proportionally what size my legs need to be to be as thin as his, and I have a long ways to go. Sigh.
[Help] I can't stop eating
/u/finnkat
Created: Thu Feb 22 23:50:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zm5la/i_cant_stop_eating/
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For a long time I was unintentionally maintaining about 10 lbs above my UGW. I decided that since I wasn't losing and I was tired I would give myself a little break. I had a 3 day weekend for presidents day so for those 3 days I didn't count calories and let myself be a little less strict about what I ate. I didn't binge but I pretty much just grazed all weekend, constantly eating something. Didn't think of it as too much of a big deal, I did really good the next day and ate ~800 calories but since then I've been eating nonstop. I'm not even hungry and nothing sounds or tastes good, everything tastes bland and too much at the same time and I feel sick but everytimr I try to stop I feel like I have to start eating again. I was looking forward to losing the weight I had gained just to see the scale go down again but now it just keeps going up, which makes me panic but I still can't stop. I can't even bring myself to purge afterwards. I'm so tired of all this, please help me.
[Discussion] DAE get very anxious about being in pictures?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 23:30:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zm21n/dae_get_very_anxious_about_being_in_pictures/
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Iām going on a trip in two weeks and I know my friends will want to take lots of pictures. Thereās part of me that really wants to be in them to remember what a fun time we had and because my vain side loves the idea of having all these cute pictures of myself, but my ED brain is *so stressed* by it. I keep thinking about all the ways I could look thinner and what I would have to do to make it work and what alternatives to pictures could be and maybe I should pose and practice to get comfortable in front of the camera and i *know* how silly this is but for some reason I just canāt stop being concerned. Am i alone here or do you guys feel this anxiety too?
[Rant/Rave] Buys food after giving in to strong binge urges. Takes first bite, realizes that it doesnāt even taste good. Finishes the food anyway because you have already starting chomping on it. Feels incredibly guilty and disgusting afterwards.
/u/cashmeremoose
Created: Thu Feb 22 23:23:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zm0ps/buys_food_after_giving_in_to_strong_binge_urges/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else dumb? (ed self harm)
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Thu Feb 22 23:20:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zm08d/anyone_else_dumb_ed_self_harm/
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Lolll anyway
I first cut the word FAT into my stomach after being sexually assaulted at 14 or so
Iāve cut it into me like a hundred times, random spots, most of them faded away for the most part eventually.
Then thereās [this](https://imgur.com/a/r2MJ0) one I started on a long time ago!
Iām frequented re-cutting it, making sure the scar stays visible, shaming myself constantly for doing it and for saying yes when I should be saying no.
Anyway just a rant because I decided it needed refreshing the other day. I started self harming a ton a few years before I actively engaged in eating disordered behaviours (12/15 respectively) and look at me now at 31 rad.
[Rant/Rave] I don't even care that I'm on my main account anymore. I just to be better.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 22 23:10:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zlycp/i_dont_even_care_that_im_on_my_main_account/
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Deleted my previous account afraidofjudgement. I just want this to stop. I beg myself everyday to just be normal. My knees hurt so bad from getting 20k+ steps. I was crying, but , I pushed through it to raise my TDEE. I'm not proud of it.
My life is an endless thought of calories, tdee, exercise, to eat, not to eat, binging. How did I let this happen? Do I even have an eating disorder? Maybe I'm just being obsessive because I have nothing better to do? All I know is I CAN'T stop being like this now. WHY?
I just don't care anymore. I'm on main account, I know I'll get harassed on other subs because I posted here. I. Just. Don't. Care. My life is bleak and meaningless. I miss being a person with interest. I used to love to read, learn, gaming, GoT, getting out the house. Hell, I even had a home bakery going on because I loved to bake! And I was a damn good southern cook, too! I had so much talent in it. But, I stopped it all because of these thoughts.
I just want a pint of Ben and Jerry's and to cry.
Thanks for listening.
[Rant/Rave] Got to 130 (finally) went up 3 pounds after moving and eating crap. Now up to 133 and decided to binge
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 23:06:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zlxlh/got_to_130_finally_went_up_3_pounds_after_moving/
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Basically what the title says, also huge rumbly rant coming on. Feel free to ignore.
I have only been under 130 in high school. First semester of college saw me balloon up like a whale, second year of college lost all the weight (aka: eating disorder came back and moving out on my own = quick weight loss)
Went from ~160 to 130 in the matter of three months. Now I'm stuck at 130 no matter how hard i try. What's ironic, at least in my mind. I lost the most weight working at the unnamed golden arches,
Now that I'm a pharmacy Tech, and have more down time, I'm not gaining per say, but i am staying steady.
Plus... depression make me want to eat my feelings away,
But anxiety, makes me feel like I don't truly have depression (I do, dr. Thinks I'm a risk to myself)
Plus moving again, this time closer to family (literally moving into the unit under my mother in law) so restricting will be hella harder,
My life is a mess, i just want to get to my GW and be happy and not have anything wrong with me š§
[Rant/Rave] Then what?
/u/fabluous [5'5" | CW: 121 | GW: 105 |]
Created: Thu Feb 22 22:50:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zlupr/then_what/
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After I reach my goal weight, then what?
I'm a little lost and don't know about my direction in life. I'm not sure what I'll do after I graduate. I keep on finding new pointless addictions. At first it was MMOs, now it's the number on the scale. My obsessions are never productive. I don't know what I want. I always figured I'd kill myself some day, not in a suicidal, "I can't take it anymore" way, but out a lack of desire or drive and of fulfillment or meaning.
The only thing I have is self-hatred, and it's the driving force behind everything. There's nothing I can do that will get rid of self-hatred. Self-hatred is what makes me want to be better, and it's too deep-rooted in me, I'll never be able to have a healthy relationship with myself. Without it I'd be nothing, I don't have any drive otherwise and without desire, you're without fulfillment, and so a lack of meaning, and here I am
Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself that this losing weight thing is so, so bullshit, and I hate myself even more for putting my energy into something so bullshit, as if it's the best thing I've got to invest in where I stand (and it is). Not the self-hatred that drives me, a self-hatred that rejects everything, with the realization that, it's not that I don't know what I want, but that there's nothing I want
So yeah
Now what?
[Help] SO ANNOYED
/u/hopelessinhell
Created: Thu Feb 22 22:48:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zlue0/so_annoyed/
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I have hardly eaten a thing since Monday. And therefore have not pooped. I donāt feel ābacked upā or anything. Iāve been drinking tons of water with benefiber mixed in. I donāt even measure it anymore, just pour it in stir it up and drink it. Iām taking water pills, Magnesium, and some prune shit. I also do not feel bloated at all. I literally pee all day. Allll day long. However, my weight has not changed one fucking bit and I am so annoyed! What do I even do?? I just want cheddar cheese on ritz crackers. I just took my night depression and sleep meds and whAtever tf else I have to take with a fuck ton of water and now Iām scared if I move too much Iām going to unintentionally spew everywhere. Why do I do this? Why am I the way I am?
[Rant/Rave] Shout out to my drunkorexics
/u/blerg1234567
Created: Thu Feb 22 22:32:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zlqx3/shout_out_to_my_drunkorexics/
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This aināt no easy life... this week Iāve been out of control bingey (fucking pizza at like 1am), but Iāve also had good days (got sick from takeout...).
Today Iāve been awake for maybe 9 hours, consumed some whiskey, a cocktail, and like 18oz of beer. Thatās it.
Honestly, I think beer is the silver bullet for this lifestyle. I get so full so quickly. I know that beer is frowned upon cause of cal content, but itās the thing that keeps me going when Iām hungry (and I wonāt get obliterated too quickly).
Love yāall. Happy thirsty Thursday.
[Rant/Rave] Hate my life
/u/miracleunicat [5'6 | CW: 109 | GW: 65]
Created: Thu Feb 22 20:59:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zl7h4/hate_my_life/
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I'm being forced to "recover" with very very little support and I hate it. I feel so awful and guilty and fat and disgusting (btw my stats are incorrect, I'm pretty sure that I weight a lot more than 109). I was in PHP program, but my parents pulled me out after like three days when I wasn't eating. I just want to fucking die. I'm have a history of suicidal thoughts/ actions and sever anxiety, and no one around me knows, or cares probably. I don't have any friends, my family sucks. They just keep feeding me, and it turns out that their "goal weight" for me is 120 lbs, which to me seems crazy crazy crazy high. My heaviest EVER was 118 and I looked so fat, even when I see myself at that weight in pictures I look disgusting. I constantly feel bloated and gross. I would kill myself but my parents monitor me so closely that I literally don't have the time to do so effectively. I hate myself, I hate my life, and I wish that it would all just end. I just want to be back in November when nobody knew anything. The worst part is that I'm contantly binging because I can't control myself. All I want to do is restrict, but when I can't do that I eat everything in sight. I'm getting so fat and I hate myself for it. I'm doing so badly. I can't even form a coherent sentence in a fucking reddit post. My grades are falling dramatically from all of the stress and not being able to cope with anything, as my only coping skill was my eating disorder. I always knew that I would have to recover, but I wanted it to be once I had reached my goal weight and literally was going to die if I didn't gain weight. I can't deal with anything. I wasn't even thin when everyone found out and forced me into recovery.
[Tip] Eating ASMR
/u/tortoise80
Created: Thu Feb 22 20:47:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zl4yd/eating_asmr/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo š
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 20:13:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zkxa3/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/q53frgfrqvh01.jpg
[Help] Low-cal foods
/u/im_sadness_alsotoast
Created: Thu Feb 22 20:07:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zkvzd/lowcal_foods/
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So...I keep doing googles for low cal foods and all of it is either really obscure, really unrealistic, or really expensive. Anybody have a good list of realistic stuff? (ex. not some foreign fruit that costs $18 or something)
[Other] Been burning off my Binges!
/u/hollowedheart_ [5'7" | CW 126 | GW 125 | UGW 120 |]
Created: Thu Feb 22 20:00:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zku8o/been_burning_off_my_binges/
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[removed]
[Goal] What's your Dream BMI?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 22 19:46:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zkqzf/whats_your_dream_bmi/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zkqzf/whats_your_dream_bmi/
[Discussion] Any other cis people enjoy cross-dressing?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 22 18:54:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zkezm/any_other_cis_people_enjoy_crossdressing/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Why is high restriction physically easier than just shaving a few calories of my TDEE?
/u/peridoti [5'0 | 130 lb | F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 18:38:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zkba9/why_is_high_restriction_physically_easier_than/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] this is the best subreddit on all of Reddit.
/u/IndigoSeasons [5'9" | CW 138 | CGW 118 | BMI 20 | Female]
Created: Thu Feb 22 18:33:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zka8t/this_is_the_best_subreddit_on_all_of_reddit/
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everyone here is so nice and supportive and wonderful. i love this subreddit and i thank you all. thatās all from me. ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
[Rant/Rave] They care
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 22 18:11:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zk52t/they_care/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Super frustrating.
/u/steamedbun_27
Created: Thu Feb 22 17:29:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zjuza/super_frustrating/
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So yesterday at work, we went out for a company lunch. I was doing well and planned for it to be my only meal. Guess what? It wasn't. I went home and I had a mini binge, but I managed to stop myself before I got to the uncomfortably full stage. Still, I woke up a little more bloated than usual and I just lost it and got upset. I kept scolding myself that if God help me, I do not get out of this binge restrict cycle, I'll grow fat. And I kept scolding myself for eating and being fat it's just so frustrating. Today I have work and I really honestly don't feel like going for it. Ugh.
[Help] Need support? Tw
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 22 17:23:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zjtbi/need_support_tw/
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[deleted]
Ana coach
/u/errin-beano
Created: Thu Feb 22 16:45:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zjjpt/ana_coach/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Snake diet
/u/moochiepie
Created: Thu Feb 22 16:36:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zjhh2/snake_diet/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE ask other people what they've had to eat so you can live vicariously through them?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118.6 ]
Created: Thu Feb 22 15:53:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zj6a0/dae_ask_other_people_what_theyve_had_to_eat_so/
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[Discussion] anyone look at thinspo of the opposite gender?
/u/ignoreme139
Created: Thu Feb 22 15:42:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zj3cy/anyone_look_at_thinspo_of_the_opposite_gender/
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this is gonna sound so weird but like there are certain males who i think look amazing and inspire me to lose weight. my favorite man to look at pictures of is freddie mercury (before he became ill). he seemed so happy, confident, and tiny lol. anyone else have something like this?
Stuck at 105 pounds for 6 months :( I want to get to 99, Iām even a ballet dancer
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 22 15:36:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zj1oa/stuck_at_105_pounds_for_6_months_i_want_to_get_to/
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https://i.redd.it/w9pj96daduh01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Hate job. Buy sugar. Inhale sugar. Hate self. Rinse. Repeat.
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 15:33:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zj0xh/hate_job_buy_sugar_inhale_sugar_hate_self_rinse/
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https://imgur.com/kKMWvJV
[Discussion] I'm not suicidal by any means but sometimes death feels like the only way out....
/u/2fckk
Created: Thu Feb 22 15:11:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ziuzv/im_not_suicidal_by_any_means_but_sometimes_death/
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I repeat, I am not suicidal so don't worry! I will not now nor will I ever kill myself. 0 desire and 0 ideation. I'm moreso commenting on the general extreme discomfort of ED.
I hate my ED. Like, I don't even "like" my ED anymore. I understand all of the cognitive distortions so vividly now that I hate them, I don't find comfort in them. I understand so vividly that the sense of "control" is an illusion so when I have a brief comfort of "control" it just makes me anxious that I'm actually heavily out of control.
And recovery? It's OKAY, ya know? Like, I am doing it 90% of the time and I'm so proud of myself but it never got comfortable. I'm ALWAYS uncomfortable eating a normal amount of food.
Whether I give into ED tendencies or whether I embrace recovery, I'm so uncomfortable. I'm never comfortable and my mind is ALWAYS pre-occupied. What quality of life is this?
[Rant/Rave] People who don't understand EDs be like...
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: 99 | GW:88 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 14:41:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zimhv/people_who_dont_understand_eds_be_like/
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(Sorry for no flair, I'm on mobile.)
"Men like something to grab on to, ladies!"
"I could never be anorexic, I love food so much!"
"Why did he get anorexic? Look at all the gains he lost!"
"Don't you get hungry?"
"I wish I had anorexia!"
"Just start eating normally!"
[Rant/Rave] I reached my lowest weight and look fatter somehow?
/u/ntagasf15685
Created: Thu Feb 22 14:31:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zijin/i_reached_my_lowest_weight_and_look_fatter_somehow/
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[removed]
[Help] Restriction while working?
/u/thevikingninja
Created: Thu Feb 22 14:15:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zif2k/restriction_while_working/
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I have a physical job at a warehouse of probably the largest online retailer, basically 10 hours of going up and down a small set of stairs, standing the whole time, and 5-10mins to walk to the nearest exit or bathroom. The facility is huge. I am having an extremely hard time staying even at 1200 calories a day without feeling faint by the end of the work week (it seems to catch up to me by day 3) And since it's a rate based job I cannot afford to slow down and feel shitty. If you don't make rate you get written up. So anyways, what are some better foods I can snack on, or maybe something more nutrient dense...any advice at all? I can do great on my days off and the first day or two, then I just lose it and binge when I get home. Or eat an extra protein bar I shouldn't even eat in the first place because they have 200 calories but I thought they would help...I'm just stressing myself out so badly please help!š
[Other] bfās bday dinner tonight (food/location unknown), sooo caffeine (+water) fast till then! got that new starbucks blonde flat white w/ almondmilk, 100cal š„ stay strong babes š¹
/u/jennifers-body
Created: Thu Feb 22 13:46:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zi6ub/bfs_bday_dinner_tonight_foodlocation_unknown_sooo/
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https://i.redd.it/zdw7rw9ltth01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My ābingesā arent even real binges.
/u/alyssa1975
Created: Thu Feb 22 13:22:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zi0dc/my_binges_arent_even_real_binges/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Nothing feels real anymore
/u/eighttorches
Created: Thu Feb 22 13:12:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zhxkq/nothing_feels_real_anymore/
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After fasting / heavy restricting for a while like a week or something, does anyone else just feel like they're dreaming all of the time even though you're awake? Its an indescribable feeling but i hope someone understands
[Discussion] Just curious. Why the diet colas and not seltzer water?
/u/elby122
Created: Thu Feb 22 13:11:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zhxae/just_curious_why_the_diet_colas_and_not_seltzer/
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I'm on mobile so I'm not sure if i did the flair thing right but here goes... I have recently discovered my newfound addiction to flavored seltzer waters (think La Croix). I'm just curious, why do so many people go for the diet colas? Are you ever concerned about the chemicals?
[Goal] [goal] Iām only 18 pounds overweight!!
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW:š| GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 12:50:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zhrar/goal_im_only_18_pounds_overweight/
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I started out at 176 and today I weighed in at 155. Iāve lost over 20lbs! I know to some Iām still big as a house but I havenāt been this low of a weight since my Freshman year of college. Iāve never managed to restrict long enough to lose more than 12-15 lbs. Binging always ruins it.
137 is considered a healthy BMI for my height and itās my first GW. Iām over halfway there, and I canāt believe it. Iām so excited!!!!! People are finally starting to notice and it feels great!
Wine drunk poems yāall
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 22 12:39:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zho5k/wine_drunk_poems_yall/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Tired of the unfair comparisons
/u/Lady_Kohai [5'1"|CW 103.4 | UGW 80 | 20F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 12:36:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zhn98/tired_of_the_unfair_comparisons/
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I'm tired of being the emotional punching bag for my overweight friends. I'm tired of the hostile words of them comparing themselves to me. I'm tired of the belittlement and the fact that I can't even express that I feel fat and bloated all the time around these friends without them tearing into me for expressing my mental illness. I'm just tired of this excessive shit just from being around them.
[Discussion] Day 3
/u/pitterpatter25
Created: Thu Feb 22 12:13:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zhgq8/day_3/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I exchanged a dress for the next size up because my ED won't let me believe I can wear an XS.
/u/Bridget6th [5'8" | CW135 | 20.5 | UGW119 | 33F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 12:07:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zhewa/i_exchanged_a_dress_for_the_next_size_up_because/
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So I have a wedding to attend this Saturday and I needed a winter dress. I ran to target just to pick something out quick and found a black empire waist dress that actually had sleeves and wasn't too revolting on me, so I got it in an XS. I wanted to see what kind of shoes they paired with it on their website so I looked and it said that the model was wearing a size small. I honestly couldn't believe that to be true. This girl was WAY smaller than me. So I freaked out so much that I couldn't sleep and took it back today to get it in a small instead. There's no way that a model is wearing a size bigger than me, I would have popped the seams by the end of the night. Ugh. Anyone else think there is a huge conspiracy out there for vanity sizing?
[Discussion] DAE ask to smell other people's food?
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 103 | 18.2 | CGW: 100 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 11:50:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zh9tm/dae_ask_to_smell_other_peoples_food/
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Last week in the dining hall, I had already eaten my 200 calories for the day and while my friends were all eating ice cream (after each having multiple sandwiches/slices of pizza/bowls of pasta), I caught myself asking a girl I don't even know that well if I could smell her ice cream. I totally didn't realize how weird that sounded until after I said it but the worst part was that after giving me a look but saying yes, she said that this isn't the first time she's heard me ask to smell people's food. I felt soo embarrassed but thankfully was able to just laugh it off. Has anyone else had things like this slip out without realizing how it strange it is?
[Rant/Rave] This is so stressful!!
/u/thewanderingvegan
Created: Thu Feb 22 11:31:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zh4da/this_is_so_stressful/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Therapist told me I have body dysmorphia
/u/Bleepbloopbroke [65|CW 106.4|GW 95|UGW 84|17.91| -26.6| F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 11:28:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zh3kn/therapist_told_me_i_have_body_dysmorphia/
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But I can't accept that. I NEED to be thin in MY perspective not everyone else's. She tells me there's no end point and that it's a dangerous disorder to have along with my eating disorder. But I can't stand the thought of myself not losing more weight.
I'm sure a lot of people with eating disorders have this too. I just feel like it's not something I can agree with. Sure people say I'm thin, but how can my eyes lie to me? I look fat so I must be fat. How do I know people aren't saying I need to gain weight because they're jealous? Maybe they want to be as thin as me
Sorry for the rant. Just having trouble thinking about this
[Rant/Rave] My heart is broken
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Thu Feb 22 11:20:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zh122/my_heart_is_broken/
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I donāt know what to do anymore. My heart is falling apart.
My husband is angry. He says heās done having the āIām not in the mood for dinnerā conversation.
My brother is sad. I wonāt go out with him tonight because Iām fasting.
My mother is enabling. She used to be proud of me when Iād manage to eat dinner. Now, when I eat in front of her, she tells me I need to cut back and that my eating habits are āconcerning.ā Even if itās the first time Iāve eaten in days.
I want to lose this weight. But Iām so hungry. Iām so so hungry.
Iām falling apart.
Help.
[Rant/Rave] I get upset for the shittiest reasons [rant/rave]
/u/usmatade [5'5 | 132 | 22.65 | -20 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 10:57:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zgu7g/i_get_upset_for_the_shittiest_reasons_rantrave/
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Literally all I've wanted for the last few weeks has been a chai latte. It's all snowy and cute outside and the coffee shop across the street makes amazingly creamy and flavourful chai lattes. I've been avoiding dairy for weeks (I love being allergic to the only thing that brings me joy in life (((: ) and I wanted to TREAT MYSELF to one of the overpriced milky angel juice cups.
And so my sweet mom said that we could go out for a cup of coffee and a cake after she had brought my brother to the hairdresser, because I had been talking so much about chai latte. I was so excited and I budgeted my calories to fit even a cup of heavy cream, I was not messing around with this.
Then she calls me like 45 minutes later and goes 'yeah I'm at THAT OTHER NOT AS CUTE coffe shop/ice cream bar with your brother, hurry here' I threw on some makeup and got dressed in less than, I swear, five minutes. But when I got there they had already ordered AND HALF FINISHED their food and ice cream. I don't even know why this upset me so much but I just sat down grumpy as hell and wouldn't order my goddamn lactose bomb, like a toddler throwing a tantrum. When I got my shit together I realised-
THEY DON'T EVEN SELL CHAI LATTES THERE
Any other day I would have been thrilled to drink black coffee but I wanted that chai latte so bad. I felt so rude towards my mom because I was so mad and I couldn't explain why. I ended up just sitting next to them and grumbling while they finished their snacks and drink and speeding home ahead of them and speed-crying before they got home lol.
((to rub salt in my ED wounds the barista offered me free ice cream while I was there. Bby u are so sweet but no I can't have full fat extra dairy brownie chunks ice cream. It was so sweet of him to offer and I felt like satan himself when I turned him down))
Ok I am so sorry to anyone who read this entire rant but ty for letting me unload. Pls share similar stories so I don't feel alone in my insanity :')
[Rant/Rave] Dae have a fear of eating at a friends home?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 22 10:56:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zgu1t/dae_have_a_fear_of_eating_at_a_friends_home/
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[deleted]
[Goal] After 4 months of weight gain and despair, THE FAST FUCKING BEGINS NOW
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 10:38:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zgop1/after_4_months_of_weight_gain_and_despair_the/
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Iāve put on 15lbs since the summer and i keep saying to myself āoh Iāll lose it in timeā and for four months Iāve beeb a monstrous pig
I just had my AHA moment and Iām drowned in so much self hatred right now that I canāt even focus.
The fast begins NOW.
[Help] Higher weight the day after purging?
/u/dontgiveared
Created: Thu Feb 22 10:31:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zgmyf/higher_weight_the_day_after_purging/
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Does this happen to anyone else? I'll eat, purge, drink water to rehydrate, and on the morning after I'll see a jump on the scale. I would think it would be the opposite since I'm not actually retaining very much food. I'm not talking about a binge, either, I'm usually eating a normal/light amount.
[Other] I love lying to my family and friends about what I've eaten.
/u/lilialley
Created: Thu Feb 22 10:14:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zgi2v/i_love_lying_to_my_family_and_friends_about_what/
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I love it so much that I actually save it as a reward for when I've been consistent with restriction.
I am a pretty prevalent binge eater. I have eaten 10,000+ calories in one day before. My absolute favorite thing to do, after a day of beautiful restriction with very healthy food, is to lie to my family and friends about how much I binged. I told my Mom, after a 300 calorie day of very healthy food, that I'd eaten a whole pizza and bag of cheese puffs. I told my friend that I'd eaten a few pounds of gummi candy. Felt so good.
DAE do this or am I just really weird?
[Rant/Rave] Water weight, kids and overtiredness all collide into one big mess
/u/SmartOwls [F5'10| CW 132.7 | BMI 18.5 | GW 120]
Created: Thu Feb 22 10:12:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zghfd/water_weight_kids_and_overtiredness_all_collide/
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basically what the title says. I have been restricting heavily for the last week or so with a couple slips but nothing hugely major and things were going relatively okay. I survived the inlaws coming and a majorly stressful family event.
But then last night i inhaled an entire jar of baby pickles and at 1 cal per pickle i didnt think it was that big of a deal. i also drank some of the juice, because - deliciousness. I woke up this morning 2 POUNDS HEAVIER and now i am upset and angry and feel horribly fat and bloated and ugly and just ugh.
i decided to try to fast today to get rid of what i know is just water weight but noooooo i had to go and have not one but TWO fiber one granola bars at 130 cals each. FML. so now i'm ready to just throw in the towel and eat 6 more granola bars. i really dont want to tho.
in addition to stressing over the weight gain, i'm also exhausted from lack of sleep and stressing over the fact that i know 2 of the 3 kids are going to be super whiny tonight and most likely not listen worth a damn which always ends up making me angry because of extenuating circumstances (they are coming back from their bio moms and she never tells them no or makes them listen to her so they're always little shits when we get them back) and so i stress about being the evil yelling angry step mom but i dont want to give in to their whining by not making them do their extra curricular activity tonight and ugh omg its a no win situation right now.
i just want to be thin and tiny and pretty and then i'll have one less thing to stress about and then i wont be so yelly and things will be better.
i want that empty feeling back, and i'm struggling with wanting to eat too and ugh i hate this so so SO MUCH!!!
[Discussion] A New Approach to Fasting (warning: probably ultra boring)
/u/m_inimal
Created: Thu Feb 22 10:06:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zgfw2/a_new_approach_to_fasting_warning_probably_ultra/
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Just wanted to throw this out there to make it more real in my own mind.
In the past, heavy restriction via smaller meals and intermittent fasting has always been what brings me success. And in the past, I consistently fall off the bandwagon because the exhaustion just gets to be too much, and I find I *have* to eat more just to get through the day.
However, for the past 2-3ish days I have started intermittent fasting again, somewhat by accident (though of course I'm going to keep it up now that I've realized). The only thing I'm doing differently is fasting throughout the day, instead of having my cutoff for eating be at night.
What I used to do was eat several small meals from the time I wake up until 3-4 in the afternoon, and then nothing until breakfast again the next morning. However, I'm realizing now that not only is that not a realistic approach (since my most strenuous activities, i.e. work and school, mostly take place after 3-4pm, and that's when I need the most calories), but that starting my fast with 9-10 hours of sleep makes it INCREDIBLY easy. What I've switched to doing now is wake up, only having coffee/tea until 4ish pm (by which point I am very hungry, but usually not about to faint), and then eating one really large meal and snacks as necessary until I go to bed (usually around 11). Wake up around 9-10 am the next morning and repeat.
For whatever reason, this is REALLY working for me and has been almost effortless so far, and I *think* I'm taking in as few calories as I would be if I was using my previous fasting window. It's just a matter of better timing. I'm definitely taking in fewer than I would be if I just eat indiscriminately throughout the day, that's for sure.
<3 have a wonderful day, you deserve love
Is it possible to build muscle while restricting?
/u/cybermua
Created: Thu Feb 22 10:02:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zgej5/is_it_possible_to_build_muscle_while_restricting/
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Iād like to lose 10-15lb in the next 2.5 months or so. Fairly doable I think. However Iād also like to build some semblance of a butt while all of the weight loss happens.
Is this possible? Anyone have experience getting more toned/building muscle while restricting? Seems counterintuitive and maybe not possible given you need to eat in a surplus to gain muscle (as far as I know).
[Tip] ProTip: Want to give yourself a panic attack? Use Mint to track your binges.
/u/Size666 [5'8F | CW: Walrus | -40lbs | UGW: 113]
Created: Thu Feb 22 09:54:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zgc9b/protip_want_to_give_yourself_a_panic_attack_use/
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I've been trying to tighten up my budget lately because there's no reason why I should be this broke all the time. Set my Mint account up so that certain stores/sites (e.g., Supermarket, Domino's, Grubhub) went into a budget labeled "binge" and backlogged all the receipts I could find, added them in with the debit purchases and...
Welp, I found my money leak! Seriously, I think I could have bought a car in 2017 if I didn't literally eat my entire paycheck. Anyone else going broke because they have zero self control? FML
[Discussion] What is your water fasting āhigh scoreā?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 22 09:48:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zgahg/what_is_your_water_fasting_high_score/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zgahg/what_is_your_water_fasting_high_score/
[Other] That's it.
/u/flowerxng [5'5.5''| cw: 102 | i just wanted to be happy]
Created: Thu Feb 22 09:47:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zgac8/thats_it/
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I finally got another scale after my mom took away my scale a month ago. The short story: I gained eight pounds.
The actual story is much more complicated. This new scale also measures body fat and water weight, and even though I'm not sure it's accurate... seeing the numbers really helps. I'm retaining a lot of water, so that's interesting to note. But more importantly, my body fat percentage is 11.8%.
I'm proud of that. I want it to be lower, but I'm proud of that. I really haven't been proud of my body in a long time. I realized that this whole mess of an ED started partially because I wanted to lose a few pounds to get "fit". I still don't want to gain weight, but for the first time in forever - I think I'm okay with where I am.
I'm going to try my best this time. I'm going to eat, I'm going to be honest, and I'm going to recover from anorexia. I'm keeping onto my orthorexia for now because I'm just too scared to break out of multiple bubbles at once.
That's it. Bye for now.
Your Current Ideal
/u/analeonhardt [š 5'2.5 | CW 121.6 | GW 107 | 28F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 09:08:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zfz8z/your_current_ideal/
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Do you have someone who you look at and think "Yep. That's exactly what I want." Right now mine is [Holly Henry](https://www.instagram.com/hollymaehenry). She is around my height and just my overall ideal. She even was asked on tumblr on her weight and her response was "Last time I weighed myself it said 89 but my scale is broken so probably around 95"
Nice. I've got a new goal weight.
[Other] Major whooshes the morning after drinking alcohol
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118.6 ]
Created: Thu Feb 22 09:07:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zfyq8/major_whooshes_the_morning_after_drinking_alcohol/
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It's just water weight, I know that. But it doesn't change the fact that it happens.
Like if I restrict for a couple days, drink and not eat/eat very little, I'm guaranteed to be down a few pounds the next morning. And I'm really lucky where after drinking I don't need to eat the next day. Idk why, I'm just not very hungry. Then the weight will continue to fall.
Does anyone else have experience with this or insight?
[Help] Muscle cramps
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | went to treatment | send help | F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 08:56:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zfvvq/muscle_cramps/
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Does anyone else experience muscle cramps when they're restricting? I've been restricting for a little over a week now and yesterday I started getting muscle cramps. I was on the phone and had my phone up to my ear, and when I went to lower my arm, I experienced one of the worst pains ever. For a few minutes I couldn't bend my arm past a 90 degree angle and when I finally did, it still hurt.
This morning I woke up, got out of bed, made a cup of coffee and when I got back into bed to drink the coffee, I had a horrible cramp in my thigh (glute area). It wasn't as painful as yesterday's arm cramp but still, it was significant.
I'm an equestrian athlete and I have to ride 2 horses today and I'm really scared that I'm going to cramp up while riding, especially since my one horse isn't very trained and that could put me in a dangerous situation. When I was relapsing 2 years ago with hardcore restriction, I don't recall ever experiencing any muscle cramps. Also, I've been taking a multivitamin now (compared to 2 years ago) for whatever little help they'd give me despite severely restricting my calories.
Similar experiences? Is this common? Any way to counteract this? I'm not trying to break rule #3. Just curious if anyone else experiences this with restricting.
[Help] doc is changing one of my meds from fluoxetine to mirtazapine, i'm kinda scared. anyone has any experience with the latter?
/u/100016 [152cm|gw:35kg|cw:37kg|nb]
Created: Thu Feb 22 08:24:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zfn6e/doc_is_changing_one_of_my_meds_from_fluoxetine_to/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Ginger Lime Diet Coke!!!!!!
/u/stop-meowing
Created: Thu Feb 22 08:13:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zfkgv/ginger_lime_diet_coke/
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If yāall havenāt gotten to try this yet, IT IS ABSOLUTELY THE BEST EVER. Itās like Diet Coke, but if it came out of the fountain of youth. Seriously. I used to be a die-hard Diet Pepsi person and no one could tell me Diet Coke was better...until this came along. I might just have to switch soda teams for this. It just feels more...filling than regular Diet Coke if that makes sense??
[Rant/Rave] Old pics
/u/Hextoria
Created: Thu Feb 22 07:58:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zfgem/old_pics/
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I can't believe i used to be that small.
I can't believe i used to be really pretty.
Can't believe i used to have a little, cute nose.
I'm overly obsessed over my nose now. How am i going to leave home with this fucking face tomorrow?! I know i should be thankful and shit but i just can't love myself.
I feel like a spoiled, ungrateful kid...
[Other] Fasting makes people so chatty
/u/bunkinpumpkin [5'7" | CW: 129lbs | BMI: 20.45 | -16 | GW: 125lbs | UWG: 118 lbs]
Created: Thu Feb 22 07:27:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zf8r7/fasting_makes_people_so_chatty/
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I realized yesterday that since my husband works Wednesday nights, and he knows I'm doing OMAD, that I could totally skip eating last night. So I'm 36 hours into a fast for the first time since college and I'm on /fasting looking at results posts to distract myself and wow these people write pages.
I forgot how "high" and manic people get when fasting.
I did finally drop a lb this morning to 129. I'm hoping I can pretend to eat lunch and not eat tonight either and push this to 72 so I'm really good and done with the 130s.
[Rant/Rave] Photos of yourself and body dysmorphia
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [š5'5|105|17.68|Maintaining?š]
Created: Thu Feb 22 07:10:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zf4nn/photos_of_yourself_and_body_dysmorphia/
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So I have a pretty hate-hate relationship with photos. I have no freaking clue what I look like, even when looking at a mirror and pictures of myself make this 10000X worse. I'm sure y'all know a thing or two about this.
All my composite pictures (which are portraits) and the pictures that my mom looooves to post on her facebook resemble a half-decomposed beached whale and make me want to crawl under a rock. Like I really did not think I was that Fucking gross, but lo and behold here is some proof for the entire world to see.
But theeeennnn I have noticed that in some of the photos or videos my friends will take of me dancing or wandering around the house doing dumb shit actually make me look thin(?????) What is going on?? How can I be both this long slender string bean and 150 tons of blubber at once? Maybe it's cause I'm a few inches taller than all my roommates and just look thinner in comparison. Maybe it is because the Camera is lying to me. I really don't know what I look like anymore. I see these pictures and think "wow that's not so bad," but then I look in the mirror and feel so defeated.
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support February 22, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 22 05:11:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zeg0g/weekly_emotional_support_february_22_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 22, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 22 05:09:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zefrn/daily_food_diary_february_22_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 22, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Iām tired, guys.
/u/ThisIsNotGumpy
Created: Thu Feb 22 04:48:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zebvg/im_tired_guys/
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Iām so tired of having to count every little thing that goes in my mouth.
Iām tired of skipping meals to meet my calorie goal.
Iām tired of being afraid of food.
Iām tired of having to choose the salad without dressing at every restaurant.
Iām tired of making my mom sad.
Iām tired of hating my body
Iām tired of the brain fog.
Iām just so goddamn tired.
[Thinspo] Never eat on an empty stomach.
/u/MsFaceless [5'8" | CW 127 | BMI 20 | GW 100 | 28F]
Created: Thu Feb 22 03:59:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ze3pc/never_eat_on_an_empty_stomach/
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[removed]
[Tip] Good way to keep calories low
/u/Sarahlump
Created: Thu Feb 22 03:47:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ze1m6/good_way_to_keep_calories_low/
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[removed]
[Help] (M/28) Anyone else a plant-based cyclist? I feel that ED/Orthorexia is the elephant in the room when it comes to the sport. Almost all participants are micro-managing their calories from my experience. Including myself. I want out.
/u/cdycwl
Created: Thu Feb 22 03:34:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zdzlm/m28_anyone_else_a_plantbased_cyclist_i_feel_that/
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https://i.redd.it/w0kkfgjhsqh01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Told my BF I would try eating more today after getting really sick yesterday and now I feel disgusting
/u/petite-insolite [Height: 164cm | CW: 53kg | GW: 45kg]
Created: Thu Feb 22 03:24:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zdy2d/told_my_bf_i_would_try_eating_more_today_after/
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Yesterday I got an [Ocular Migraine](http://www.allaboutvision.com/conditions/ocular-migraine.htm) which more than likely was triggered by all the diet soda I was having because I was fasting all day. When I told my BF about it he got, understandably, really upset and asked me to try eating a healthy, normal, recommended amount for at least a week.
Well today I tried. And god knows I did. I had breakfast, lunch, some snacks, an iced coffee, dinner. But man did I feel, and still feel sick, I was so close to just shoving the fingers down my front in the middle of the day in public because I hate the feeling of wanting to vomit. Now had I not been with my boyfriend I certainly would have. But I canāt do this every day.
Just eating hurts. Eating makes me feel physically sick and disgusted in myself. I tried today. I tried it for him. For me for gods sake. But this was the worst. I know Iām going to gain weight. I know itās just going to trigger even worse restriction. I donāt know why I did it. I feel so stupid. So sick.
[Other] This definitely stops me from eating anything else for the rest of the day š
/u/KingKeet
Created: Thu Feb 22 02:00:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zdjbt/this_definitely_stops_me_from_eating_anything/
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https://i.redd.it/m5iguctpbqh01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Not sure what to feel
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 22 01:27:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zddzh/not_sure_what_to_feel/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Since losing weight, have you started noticing your other flaws more?
/u/imnidades [5"3 | CW: 120-ish | -10 | GW: <100]
Created: Thu Feb 22 00:01:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zcydc/since_losing_weight_have_you_started_noticing/
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I hit my first GW (115lbs) recently and have been feeling great! My clothes are noticeably bigger, my wrists are so dainty and my face is looking slimmer but now I notice my nose is too big. Sigh...when will we be satisfied...
[Rant/Rave] I binge by convincing myself I'm healthy
/u/toyouisay
Created: Wed Feb 21 23:30:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zct4x/i_binge_by_convincing_myself_im_healthy/
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All the time. All the time, like almost every day I tell myself "oh I'm healthy, this restricting stuff is bs, I've lost a bit of weight, I'm fine. I just need to eat now." And I know it's not like a *binge* binge, but I constantly go down the same path and end up just feeling shitty and even further convinced to sink into my ED. I purge, which is honestly the only reason I care about being "healthy" at all, and spend the rest of the night watching ED videos and convincing myself it'll be better the next day.
And I know it's a really shitty thing to say, but how come I can't have the ED I want? I feel so miserable, like I'm failing both my ED and my desire to recover.
Also if/when I am ready to recover, how will I be able to trust myself?
[Help] This binge phase is truly ruining me
/u/ihaveto_pee
Created: Wed Feb 21 23:27:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zcsiv/this_binge_phase_is_truly_ruining_me/
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I am once again stuck in an awful binge cycle and it is consuming my life. It's not even about weight anymore at this point. I feel like I am watching my entire life fall apart, yet I still can't even attempt to stop myself. I am going to fail my classes this semester because I am too preoccupied with food to sit down and study for 10 minutes, let alone remember any assignments and perform decently in any exam. I can't go to class because I am too bloated to be that functional. I can't sleep because I am too anxious from feeling how much fucking fat is on my body. I'm not even hungry. I donāt even want the food. I dread it. I dread tomorrow because I know I'll do it again no matter how much I try and delude myself into thinking anything will be different.
I'm just so desperate to stop. I don't know what to do. I will do anything at this point. I swear if I could just make it even three days, hell, even one day. I just wish I had someone to stay with me 24 hours a day and feed me a proper amount of calories but not let me b/p, because I clearly am not capable of feeding myself and having control of my own meals.
I am just so so so sick of food dominating my life, my happiness, my every waking thought. At least when I'm restricting I'm usually only fucking up my body and not the rest of my life. Binging is destroying my body and my life. I am wasting SO much money on binge food right now, I'm probably going to have to withdraw from some of my classes which is another massive waste of time and money, my relationship with my boyfriend is even shittier than usual, my mental health is at its worst.
I don't even know what the point of this post is. I'm just so desperate to stop and I don't even have a clue.
[Discussion] DAE socially binge??
/u/dwaiiiii
Created: Wed Feb 21 23:18:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zcqxy/dae_socially_binge/
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I realized that I binge so much when Iām out with others. My friends arenāt even eating that much but Iām just going full out and when I see that theyāre not really eating, I try to make them eat more and if they donāt I just keep on eating. I also binge alone at home too but I feel like Iām better at controlling binges when Iām by myself by staying in my room vs when Iām with my friends surrounded by food. Iāve been pretty good these past few weeks and have been declining friendsā invitations to meet but Iāve been getting a little lonely and bored. Does anyone have any suggestions?? Can anyone relate??
[Rant/Rave] couldn't purge my meal and feeling worthless
/u/foxmilk [5'3 | 138 | 24.2 | f]
Created: Wed Feb 21 23:16:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zcqje/couldnt_purge_my_meal_and_feeling_worthless/
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i have been extremely positive with food for a while and i am even at my lowest weight in a while. i have been really stressed with money now that i have graduated and my student loans have been kicking it. i have sorta been looking forward to "saving money" AKA an excuse to starve myself. today, i said fuck it and binged. i tried to puke it up and couldn't - too much bread content. i tried for maybe 15 minutes and just gave up. i know i can just restart tomorrow and one episode doesn't derail my progress, but i am so sick of certain things about my body and just wish i would stop eating and clear my mind again from food. sorry for the ramble.
[Rant/Rave] A rant about the stupidest thing ever i stg
/u/tacehtelle [ahfgewgafu]
Created: Wed Feb 21 23:11:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zcpq8/a_rant_about_the_stupidest_thing_ever_i_stg/
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[removed]
[Help] Trying to Curb Bulimia / Calorie Tracking Help
/u/HighNoonImDad [5'10 | CW: 169 | ā]
Created: Wed Feb 21 22:34:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zcikh/trying_to_curb_bulimia_calorie_tracking_help/
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(on mobile please tag Help or Rant/Rave i guess lol)
Bulimia has literally been kicking my ass recently. I cannot go like 6 hours without binge/purging. I swear the longest I've been without a b/p since September is like 48 hours. My body is seriously feeling the physical side effects of Bulimia HARD recently,
and Im starting to think if I dont make a change soon I'm going to die. I already had an awful run in with complications around Christmas where I purged so often I had barely no potassium and it caused my heart to miss beats and spent Christmas in the hospital.
Anyway... I have been wanting to track calories and nutrients to hopefully help myself eat better and maybe cause less binges by eating better foods. But I literally keep forgetting. How can I get myself into this habit when I'm literally the most forgetful person ever??? I used to be so good at this back when I was in high school and to the life of me cant get back into it.
Also any other advice to help stop the binge purge cycle would be so appreciated. I'm literally gaining weight AND destroying my body. Like.... if I'm destroying my body Id like to be losing weight...
[Discussion] Day 2
/u/pitterpatter25
Created: Wed Feb 21 22:27:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zch6q/day_2/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] The cure for Anorexia is... Anorexia?
/u/OldCrowFreakShow [5'7 | 24F | ā«]
Created: Wed Feb 21 21:47:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zc90u/the_cure_for_anorexia_is_anorexia/
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Apparently my appetite is sick of my crap too because it took off and I didn't even notice for about a week. It's been almost two now. My food scale is collecting dust and I haven't weighed myself or actually looked into a mirror. It sounds like recovery but really I just can't sleep and have no desire to eat or drink. At this point I'm violently shaking and starting to dream while awake. I can't think straight and it's like my mind is going absolutely nowhere at light speed. I'm having trouble forming complete thoughts but I needed to put this out there.
[Rant/Rave] The ultimate hack to stop a binge!
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Wed Feb 21 21:22:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zc3ii/the_ultimate_hack_to_stop_a_binge/
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have your boyfriend call you a bitch!
Didn't eat anything all day, Went to get chipotle late at night, got into an argument with my bf and he called me a toxic bitch.
Threw my food on the ground and locked myself in my room. No eating today. Or tomorrow...I just don't want to live or feel anymore.
[Rant/Rave] I think I purged for the first time
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 21 20:34:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zbt35/i_think_i_purged_for_the_first_time/
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[deleted]
[Other] Weighing myself tomorrow
/u/appletreejuice
Created: Wed Feb 21 20:03:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zbmaf/weighing_myself_tomorrow/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] i just need help
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -40lb | F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 19:54:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zbk31/i_just_need_help/
---
i have morphed into full binge eating, itās great
I eat 2000+ calories every. day.
iāve lost all of my self control and iāve gained almost 20 pounds. people make fun of how bloated and fat i am, itās great
i also seem to attract guys who like fat girls. my boyfriend told me my (large) stomach (iām not kidding cause of body dysmorphia... iām definitely large.) was āsexyā... my ex used to talk about how he liked how āthickā and āfatā I am. i hate it so much much much why canāt i stop being such a piece of sludge
[Help] Need ideas for horrible-tasting food while camping
/u/2girly4me [5'7 ā¢ SW 145# ā¢ CW 120# ā¢ GW 110# ā¢ 20F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 19:53:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zbjt3/need_ideas_for_horribletasting_food_while_camping/
---
I have trouble with binging/purging, and obviously I won't be able to purge if I'm going to be camping and hiking for a week.
Does anyone know of any foods or products that would give you the macro-nutrients you need, but at the same time, tasting horrible? I figured, if the food tastes like dirt, I'm not going to eat more than what's necessary.
Cost isn't an issue. I just refuse to bring normal things like dairy, meats, snacks, but I also rather not restrict considering I'm probably going to be moving a few miles each day.
[Tip] PSA get rid of ārestriction breathā with these drops
/u/iceboxxxxx [5'5.75" | CW: 125 | GW: 113 | 20.4]
Created: Wed Feb 21 19:52:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zbjoo/psa_get_rid_of_restriction_breath_with_these_drops/
---
https://i.redd.it/2joi1t54ioh01.jpg
[Help] Please talk me down from this binge
/u/silverspork_
Created: Wed Feb 21 19:29:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zbe9a/please_talk_me_down_from_this_binge/
---
Iāve been doing so well lately but got slightly off track today. Iām kinda going through a rough time with the guy Iām seeing and Iām feeling really really down right now. Iām currently fighting back the urge to go on a giant binge (and purge, probably) session right now.
I know it will ultimately only make me feel worse, but itās like my body is telling me that food will fix everything. Which I know it wonāt, but the craving is sooo strong.
Anyways, i could really use some words of encouragement from you all. Iāve been doing so well lately and I really donāt want to ruin all my progress with a moment of weakness.
[Help] I feel like I'm going to faint, please help
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | high | large | Gender: death]
Created: Wed Feb 21 19:26:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zbdhs/i_feel_like_im_going_to_faint_please_help/
---
So today i feel extremely nauseous, extremely dizzy, and i have a headache.
Over the weekend I kept eating carbs, and then throwing them up, so i purged several times a day. Ever since i haven't been able to keep food down
I literally feel like if i even bent down over a toilet everything I've eaten would just come out.
On top of that, I'm so dizzy i can't move. When i move my head slightly my vision gets blurry or sort of blanks out.
I used to deal with this by drinking powerade zero - that makes me want to vomit because I can't keep anything in my stomach. I tried ginger ale already but i feel like everything is going spill out of my stomach at any moment.
Do you think a pain reliever would help? Any other tips? Please...I have a test tomorrow and feel like i won't be able to physically walk to the test location
[Other] The shitty side of fasting - literally.
/u/bcoptions123
Created: Wed Feb 21 19:17:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zbblb/the_shitty_side_of_fasting_literally/
---
Probably TMI but also kinda funny.
I'm on my second day of a water fast (tea, water, Mio) and I had a pretty shitty day.
When I woke up this morning I had to poop like 4 times. Not diarrhea, just normal poops. Kinda weird considering I usually only poop tiny poops like every third day.
So whatever, I head to work. When I get to work, a big wave of nausea hits me at the same time of feeling like I need to poop again.
So I go to the women's bathroom, start my poop. The nausea suddenly gets worse and I get that "oh shit, I'm gonna barf" feeling. I start dry heaving.
So I cut the pooping short, stand up and start dry heaving into the toilet. After a few good heaves, the wave of nausea passes quickly. So I sit back down and resume my business.
Rest of the day went fine. Now, at home this evening, I decided to have a nice hot relaxing shower.
I hop in the shower, start washing away, then get the urge to fart. I let it go, but a horrible smell engulfs the shower and I look down and yup... Just shat diarrhea into the shower. I figure, fuck it, and squat and expel the rest of it. What a damn smell.
Anyhoo. That's been my day. I hope day 3 of my fast is less shitty.
[Help] What to do about my anorexic flatmate?
/u/sweetmarten
Created: Wed Feb 21 18:38:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zb2bi/what_to_do_about_my_anorexic_flatmate/
---
Sorry I know this is going to be a huge wall of text but I really need advice from people who understand.
I live in a flat/house with 5 of my best friends; it is a very Friends The TV show kind of situation and I love it. Both myself and my flatmate (I'll call her C) have struggled with anorexia in the past. Over the past two years since graduating high school I have fought tooth and nail to recover. I can finally eat without guilt, forget to eat because I'm stressed, all of those things I used to think were fake. C has not. I'm the only person she's willing to talk about her anorexia with, and a lot of the time I'm the only person who can convince her that it's ok to eat anything. This has had an obvious mental toll on me.
Last year, she completely stopped all food consumption for over 2 weeks and was barely drinking water as well as being very underweight - when she started getting significant cardiac symptoms, I called her family (who already put her into treatment when she was in high school) and they arranged for her to fly home and stay with them. It made me feel like an asshole to do that, but I was honestly scared that I would go in to check on her and find her dead.
C told me that she was doing way better at home, and came back into the flat a few days ago. All I've seen her eat is an apple, and she told me that in fact I made everything worse by contacting her family as they made her eat and she just started purging :-( I've started to feel guilty about food and eating again, and I don't know if I'm strong enough to continue recovery when I'm living with a tiny skinny version of myself who is just getting smaller and smaller.
I'm scared for C and I'm scared for myself, this disorder is competitive and stupid and I'm so lost and scared. I also feel so selfish for making this all about me. Do any of you guys have any advice?
[Help] oh no body what is you doin
/u/CeciNestPasOP [5'8" | CW: ??? | GW: happy | 22F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 18:17:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zaxfe/oh_no_body_what_is_you_doin/
---
I've been in recovery since new years and am surprisingly stable. I hate being at a healthy weight less than I thought I would, got my period back, jumped right back into lifting, much more cheerful and energetic, et cetera, et cetera.
Besides some pesky intrusive ed thoughts, the hardest thing to deal with so far is that my metabolism is going FUCKING NUTS. When I started increasing my intake, I would randomly get very warm, and feel like my heart was beating too fast. This has lessened over time, but I had a particularly big lunch today, and my body immediately felt like I was going into overdrive. It felt *exactly* like ec stacking during a fast - breathless, flushed, twitchy, and anxious. It was like my internal organs were vibrating. The feeling faded over a couple hours and now I'm wiped. It's gonna be a struggle to not fall asleep at six.
Guys. What^the^fuck
Does this happen to anyone else? Anyone know how I can make it stop?
[Discussion] This made me lol
/u/pinkerapples
Created: Wed Feb 21 18:04:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zau07/this_made_me_lol/
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https://i.redd.it/o8dhcu1synh01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] lost interest
/u/swanstav [5'3 | 91lbs |BMI:16 | GW:85 |]
Created: Wed Feb 21 17:55:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zas2l/lost_interest/
---
yesterday I scheduled an appointment at my local ED place for an evaluation because fixation over food has gotten to the point where I am not functioning.
I used to get so excited over every little thing and would constantly want to be doing/making/moving but as of lately I have lost interest in pretty much everything. I havenāt been doing work, ive isolated myself, i shut down and cannot move at times, etc.
but
the thing is,
After being even more restrictive I didnāt even lose weight, I just lost interest in everything that I love and
I donāt even look anorexic or unhealthy or even skinny enough for anyone to notice anything is wrong
And
How can I be open with anybody about my eating disorder if I donāt even appear malnourished
And
How can i go to this appointment/ evaluation/ consider inpatient treatment if my weight is not in an extreme danger zone ?
[Tip] All aboard the baby food train!
/u/SmartOwls [F5'10| CW 132.7 | BMI 18.5 | GW 120]
Created: Wed Feb 21 17:37:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7zan9u/all_aboard_the_baby_food_train/
---
Today I was picking up some safe foods at sobeys (rice cakes of various flavours, pickles and tea) and decided to check out the baby food section. I've seen a few posts about it and i used to buy pureed strawberries in high school.
I found these gerber fruit & veggie melts in very berry and tropical. They are 25cals for 7g and there's 28g in a package so 100g for the whole package and omg they are SO GOOD! They ht the sweet craving and I ended up eaying only half the pack so yep I'll definately be getting more of these
[Rant/Rave] MapMyRide is totally f*cking me over, right? Right??
/u/motivatedcactus [5'3" | CW 114.5 | BMI 20.84 | UGW skinny | 18F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 16:31:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7za697/mapmyride_is_totally_fcking_me_over_right_right/
---
Hereās the deal. Boyfriend and I decided to go for a bike ride earlier. Heās a bit out of shape so we were going slower. Hereās the stats for that ride with him:
* 2.34 miles
* 39:17 minutes
* Average speed 3.6 mph
* And 24 feet elevation gain
* 131 calories!
I never broke a sweat and was never out of breath.
Later I took a ride alone around my town. Hereās the stats for that ride:
* 2.48 miles
* 17.08 minutes
* average speed 8.7 mph
* 54 feet elevation gain
* only 57 calories!!??
This ride I was very out of breath, sweating, and a little shaky from the intense workout (i donāt work out a lot) and I somehow burned less than half the calories! Is this accurate??
[Rant/Rave] Listening to "Brain over Binge" stopped a binge
/u/zorbiz [5' 8" | 18.5 | 22F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 16:29:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7za5xu/listening_to_brain_over_binge_stopped_a_binge/
---
I started listening to Episode 4 of *Brain over Binge* last night while shoveling cookies into my mouth, thinking "lols this is so ironic, I'm such a bulimic mess," BUT THE PODCAST ACTUALLY WORKED.
I am not someone who can be coaxed out of a binge, but what they were saying actually clicked for me, and I stopped mid-binge.
They describe binge urges as being faulty and powerless signals from the primitive part of your brain (lower brain), which you can always ignore, because your higher brain controls your actions. It's up to you and your higher brain to act according to your values, goals, best interests.
Basically, I did not expect this to work for me, because I'm incredibly stubborn and very good at giving in to my binge urges. So if you're like me and want to stop bingeing, I'd recommend giving it a listen. They're short episodes, easy to follow, laid out super clearly.
[Tip] Tips for a 24 hour fast
/u/Amateurcellist92
Created: Wed Feb 21 16:29:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7za5q2/tips_for_a_24_hour_fast/
---
[removed]
[Tip] My Fitness Pal PSA
/u/fortunate-foolx [62 in. | CW:whale | GW: feather | -13 | 18F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 15:35:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z9rjm/my_fitness_pal_psa/
---
If you know this, iām sorry for the redudance. If you go under goals in the MFP app, at least for IOS, you can edit your calorie goal for the day to whatever you want. :))
Need An Ana Buddy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 21 15:33:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z9r2s/need_an_ana_buddy/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z9r2s/need_an_ana_buddy/
[Rant/Rave] I'm never going to reach my GW... one of those moments.
/u/bronte__
Created: Wed Feb 21 15:30:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z9qb9/im_never_going_to_reach_my_gw_one_of_those_moments/
---
I want to be there so bad it hurts! But I just feel like giving up. I've messed up again. Just feels like I'll never get there. But then How could I ever give up with how dysfunctional my brain is! I'd feel even worse gaining weight or just stopping now. I need motivation. Can anyone else relate to just feeling like you'll never get there?!
[Help] Does anyone know how many spaghetti strands equal one serving?
/u/rumble9
Created: Wed Feb 21 15:27:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z9pbz/does_anyone_know_how_many_spaghetti_strands_equal/
---
I donāt have a scale to weigh my food with and noodles are my favorite thing to binge on but if I can count strands then Iāll be able to eat the right serving size. Lol
How the fuck do you stick to this bullshit?
/u/snoogiez [5'4" | CW: 186 | HW: 220 | GW: 120 - 140 | 24F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 15:13:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z9lnr/how_the_fuck_do_you_stick_to_this_bullshit/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Idk what I'm doing anymore
/u/counting-the-seconds [5'8" | 138lbs | 20.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 15:12:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z9leq/idk_what_im_doing_anymore/
---
I've totally skipped over restricting and gone straight into fasting...I find it so much easier. I go to the gym every other day and I'll eat something small before I go to avoid passing out but after that, I don't eat until the next time I go to the gym again and I've dropped 5 lbs in a week which I love and I feel great
But at the same time, I'm depressed as fuck. Even if I wanted to eat, it just seems like a chore. I have no motivation. I haven't seen my SO outside of work for almost 2 weeks, and he tells me I need to eat, but little does he know that him isolating himself from me drives me to do this more. He'll want to see me more if I'm not something he's ashamed of. You can't be worried about me when you're my number one motivator.
I tell everyone I'm fine but I'm clearly not. I need help. But I don't want it until I'm happy with where my body is.
Idk, this is just kind of me spilling my thoughts so feel free to ignore. I'm just having a rough time.
[Discussion] The daily recommended intake for a sedentary female of age 40 is 1800 according to American Dietary Guidelines...
/u/LetzBeAn [5'5.5" | CW: 114 | GW: 90 | 25NB]
Created: Wed Feb 21 14:46:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z9e64/the_daily_recommended_intake_for_a_sedentary/
---
According to most TDEE calculators I have used, in order to have a TDEE of 1800 calories per day as a Sedentary female of 5' 4" (average height of American female and height used in the Dietary Guidelines), you would have to have a weight of 187.4lbs which would put you at a BMI of **32.2** classifying you as **obese**!!! Am I missing something here?
[Here](https://health.gov/dietaryguidelines/2015/resources/2015-2020_Dietary_Guidelines.pdf) is the Dietary Guidelines for those interested.
*edited for missed information and corrections
Please feel free to remove the post if it is deemed inappropriate for this sub.
[Help] How to stop b/p
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 14:38:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z9bwx/how_to_stop_bp/
---
What did you guys find more effective in reducing b/p...reducing the binging, or the purging? Which did you try to stop first? What helped?
[Rant/Rave] Small Victories
/u/PersephoneHazard [HW -53.8 | GW +46.2 | š PersephoneHazard]
Created: Wed Feb 21 14:32:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z9a48/small_victories/
---
I just opened a box of six Tunnock's Teacakes (don't worry if that means nothing to you; all that implies is that you aren't British), ate three, felt satisfied and put the box away. At this moment I feel honestly no urge to go get the other three. EVEN THOUGH I HAD ORIGINALLY PLANNED TO EAT ALL SIX.
I know that sounds silly. I know it's still 310 calories I didn't need (and I feel gross about that, ngl). I know it's not a big deal to anyone without binge eating trouble. I know a non eating disordered person would probably have had one or two and still think that three is a lot. But I am astonished, and feeling very happy about it.
What are your recent small victories?
[Discussion] What is a good food tracking app
/u/AndyxLion
Created: Wed Feb 21 14:28:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z9916/what_is_a_good_food_tracking_app/
---
I tried my fitness pal but last time I used it wouldnāt let me go under a certain amount of calories. It would be nice to see exactly how much calories I actually shove into my face so I can get serious about losing again. Any other good ones out there??
[Other] ed stomach flu thoughts
/u/ssetppoint
Created: Wed Feb 21 14:23:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z97nb/ed_stomach_flu_thoughts/
---
how many calories are in dayquil liquid gels? probably at least 5 right? why donāt medicine boxes have calorie facts?
wow, i lost 5 lbs overnight and all it took was throwing up my guts and ācleaningā out my insides. wonder how sustainable that is to do over again?
i havenāt eaten for three days now, how come iām not skinny with a thigh gap yet? thatās long enough right?
how long do you think i can maintain this nausea over food? it would be great if the smell of food made me feel gross like this forever
*tracks gatorade consumption on mfp religiously, sweats nervously seeing how many calories are in 30oz*
[Other] Starving myself for my best friend
/u/heyheypicklejay
Created: Wed Feb 21 13:51:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z8yci/starving_myself_for_my_best_friend/
---
Yesterday was my bffs birthday, so this saturday Im treating her to a wine-and-cheese night where we'll also be baking homemade bread together! I cant even begin to imagine all the calories in all that we're planning to eat and drink so Im fasting for the next 3 fast days in order to prepare for it
My head is aching and my stomach has been growling all day and night but it'll all be worth it when we get to sit down together and just enjoy our wine night without any worries of going over my weekly calorie limit (:
[Discussion] SO drove my vehicle today
/u/WhatsAMooseSay [5'5 | CW: 204.6 lbs | -70.4lbs | GW: 115 | 26F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 13:45:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z8wvc/so_drove_my_vehicle_today/
---
"What are those empty BronkAid packs in your cupholder?!"
š
Oh, uh... Trying to kick this chest cold.
Definitely not popping them with Red bull every morning.
Definitely not.
(Mobile, sorry - discussion)
[Help] I'm trying to recover but today my head went way back into the ED mindset
/u/theloveoflordjesus
Created: Wed Feb 21 13:42:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z8vy0/im_trying_to_recover_but_today_my_head_went_way/
---
So basically I'm trying to recover from my eating disorder and so hadn't weighed myself in a few weeks. Anyway I stepped on the scale yesterday and was at almost 70kg and was upset but tried to remain body positive and stuff and then I got my period so when I stepped on the scale this morning I was just over 60. The think is I woke up not hating myself but as soon as I saw that lower number it made me feel disgusting and obese and like the scale was lying to me. My ED is the hardest thing to recover from I think because although I'm finding easy to nourish myself I just see a whale when I look in the mirror and self love seems almost impossible. It's scary to think I've only gained 2 kg since I strayed recovery but I feel like it's closer to 10 or 20. Idk, I'm going clubbing tommorow and I'm going to force myself to wear my favourite top which shows my belly and won't cover my arms cuz I'm at the point where I don't think I'm going to love myself until I force myself to. Sorry for the rant!!
[Discussion] Almost
/u/pitterpatter25
Created: Wed Feb 21 13:32:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z8st7/almost/
---
I almost had a good day today until my boyfriend got mad at me. I forgot the clothes in the laundry basket were clean and put dirty ones in it. I got super defensive and we fought, now Iām spiraling again.
Iām diving headfirst and embracing this relapse. Itās the only thing giving me comfort anymore. I donāt know how many calories I had exactly yesterday, but it wasnāt very many so Iām counting it as a good day. Good day #1. I downloaded Zero and set it to fasting 18 hours a day, that only leaves six hours to exercise some self control and not overeat. Iām still debating on what my calorie goal per day should be. Itās been years since Iāve done this so I want to be realistic but still restrict as much as possible. My ultimate goal will probably be 300/day but I think to start Iām going to have to allow 800.
And maybe if I keep it up long enough my body will just give up and do what Iām too much of a coward to do.
[Help] Best ways to stop binge eating out of boredom and control hunger?
/u/moody_loser_caught
Created: Wed Feb 21 13:20:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z8pka/best_ways_to_stop_binge_eating_out_of_boredom_and/
---
Usually I tend to binge from 6 pm to 11 pm and from 2 pm to 4 pm (depends if I'm home) just out of idleness and boredom. In the morning I don't have an appetite so I can last well. But when I get home I usually always end up binge eating.
What methods are the best to stop binge eating and feeling hungry? Also if you really have a need to eat, what foods do you eat?
Also there may be some grammar mistakes, so I'm apologizing about that.
[Help] How do you fight the urge to binge?
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 129 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.1 | F21]
Created: Wed Feb 21 12:50:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z8gd6/how_do_you_fight_the_urge_to_binge/
---
Asking as a menstruating restrictor who b&p ād twice yesterday š¬š¬š¬
[Discussion] How letting go saved my life.
/u/nakedvegan
Created: Wed Feb 21 12:39:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z8da4/how_letting_go_saved_my_life/
---
http://nakedveggies.blogspot.com/2018/02/letting-go-and-getting-better.html
[Discussion] How do y'all log your calories after b/p??
/u/MightyMuskrats [š5'2 | š | GW 115 | -17 | 22Fš]
Created: Wed Feb 21 12:27:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z89nu/how_do_yall_log_your_calories_after_bp/
---
I had been craving mac n cheese for like weeks now and yesterday I saw that I had some in the cupboard, I was going to eat it for dinner and have a normal portion like a normal person and then my SO gave me some flack about it because "I always feel so guilty after eating that" (here's the kicker though I could eat a fucking salad and feel guilty) so I put it back and decided I wasnt going to eat it. Then in a moment of weakness this morning I ate THE ENTIRE BOX for lunch, felt terrible, and purged. As of now I just have the entire box logged in mfp, but I wanted to know how you guys usually deal with these situations?
[Help] I'm going to therapy guys
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 184 lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 12:18:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z871t/im_going_to_therapy_guys/
---
I'm not sure if this really fits, but you guys are great and this is semi-related to ED
Don't start drinking on a fast guys. Don't be a binge drinker on top of that. Don't do any of that on a Sunday.
I knew I had a "problem" but now I know I have a PROBLEM.
I blacked out and I said I was walking home, and I guess some guy (that I was making out with?) said he was gonna walk me home TO MY FRIENDS and he ended up taking me to his apartment. I left at like 4 AM and thank god a sandwich shop was open so I could order delivery and get a ride home. (which is how I found out I was walking the wrong way)
Just don't be a drunkarexic guys, please :( It's not good
Range weight and frustrations
/u/dotdot-8 [5'8| CW135 | GW122 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 11:43:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z7wpp/range_weight_and_frustrations/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Insecure about jawline/chin
/u/alienmickey
Created: Wed Feb 21 11:36:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z7uu6/insecure_about_jawlinechin/
---
Has anyone else's jawline/chin area actually gotten looser/saggier sith the development of their eating disorder? I used to have a nice jawline and no double chin but in the six years ive had a restrictive ed, even tho ive noticeably lost weight its gotten saggy and it makes me feel disgusting. Ive always wanted so badly to be an androgynous/genderless looking person, as Im nb, but I cant have short hair like this and feel confident . Does it have to do with water retention or what? Is there anything I can do to fix it ?
[Rant/Rave] today Goddamnit. a rant
/u/yaogauiasaurus
Created: Wed Feb 21 11:30:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z7t22/today_goddamnit_a_rant/
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Today I will NOT EAT ABOVE 500. Today I'm gonna get back on that satisfying "eaten few enough calories that I get dizzy standing up" streak. Today I'm going to kick fucking ass and take names. And today I'm going to get past this stupid calorie fueled-sugar craving-fucking bringe-eating mindset I've been in all week.
Fuck you food. I'm going to reach my Goddamn goal. You're not gonna win this time.
[Tip] Thoughts from the shower (triggered as fuck)
/u/seitansmistress
Created: Wed Feb 21 11:20:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z7q2p/thoughts_from_the_shower_triggered_as_fuck/
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I've been drinking so much Diet Coke. That's a habit that I adopt only when I've relapsed. I noticed you all like it as well. Do you all also get really bad acne breakouts as a result of all of that Diet Coke. Is it just me? I feel like an idiot walking around as a grown adult with a face full of zits.
I've been considering chewing on Nicorette gum. Even though I'm not nor have I ever been a smoker. That's dumb, right?
Also, something that should totally not bother me but does is going on here and seeing so many of you being able to purge after a binge. I think I am incapable of making myself throw up. And I've done the research. I've eaten thousands of calories during a binge and try my hardest to activate my gag reflex. So I used to purge way of exercise. But there's never enough exercise I can do to fix a binge. I used to down laxatives like they were candy. I didn't care if the calories were absorbed. I liked the way it felt to punish myself for eating so much garbage. Of course that fucked with my GI and made it impossible to go without them. It took me years to right that wrong. I don't want to go down that route. How do you all do it?
Lastly, I am so grateful this sub exists. I think you all are beautiful people and we're all just trying our best. Keep fighting.
[Goal] Finally hit my UGW today!!
/u/blmatsuu
Created: Wed Feb 21 11:01:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z7kqh/finally_hit_my_ugw_today/
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Just a few months ago I honestly thought this day would never come, but today I finally hit 115 pounds! To be fair, Iām far from skinny at the moment, but Iām really happy at how much progress Iāve made. Iām gonna treat myself to some ramen which I havenāt had in a while bc Iāve been restricting a lot, like Iām probably gonna gain a ton of weight back but eh, Iāll just exercise it off. Hereās to my next ugw, 99 pounds~~ šāØšāØ
[Discussion] Feeling petty or like your ED issue doesn't deserve its own post.. lets hear it!
/u/littlejanedoe- [5'2" |CW:123lbs | GW:115lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 10:57:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z7jek/feeling_petty_or_like_your_ed_issue_doesnt/
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I always type things out for this sub as a form of therapy I guess or to feel like I am not the only one. Then before hitting "submit" I delete it. I don't know why, my thoughts are valid no matter how small or petty. But a part of me is embarrassed by my triggers or I feel like my post isn't worthy of actual discussion. IDN does anyone else do this? If so would you like to share your silly or supper petty ED thoughts with me?
*
*
*
Ill go first, my husbands EX wife joined my gym. We don't get along (any of us) but I try my best. She is a huge trigger for me because well she was the first wife and she is very thin and tall... something I am not. Anyways the gym was my one space where I wasn't mom, wife, employee.. ect. I could be me and have some control for that 1 hr. Now that's gone. I took a week off the gym because I don't want to see her and now I feel even more like shit. Up 4lbs and feeling not like myself. I love the gym I love the feeling I get when I am exhausted and empty. But now I stress about going (we go at the same time because of our work schedules) That she will see me and realize she is thinner and has more self control than I do... and that kicks my ED brain into shambles. I know I shouldn't give this woman so much power but I cant help it.. My SO knows I don't like her and for good reason but he has know idea about the rest of my feelings towards her.
[Other] My new favourite Ana drink and laxative.
/u/eliamousse
Created: Wed Feb 21 10:27:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z7ais/my_new_favourite_ana_drink_and_laxative/
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https://imgur.com/a/qCTrb
[Rant/Rave] Thin people find me disgusting
/u/AnimalCount
Created: Wed Feb 21 10:21:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z78pl/thin_people_find_me_disgusting/
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I was walking across campus today when a mini candy wrapper fell out of my bookbag from god-knows-when. A small, petite girl kept walking directly towards me, clearly looking at me and noticing me, then stopped just before toppling over me and gave me the darkest look of disgust as my fat body was bent over under her gaze picking up my shame, then walked away.
My BMI is on the cusp of underweight, but with my shape, bone structure, and overall fatness and fleshiness of my body, I might as well be overweight. If any of you on here were to see me in person you would look at me with revulsion, too. I feel like I can tell who's ana or mia when out in public-- looking at you, tall thin woman carrying handfuls of binge-type food at CVS-- but if anyone were to see me, eating a cookie or fun-sized candy bar or normal sized lunch, they'd just think of me as a gluttonous, overindulgent fat fuck, not realizing that that's all I'm eating that day. I'm the most disgusting being alive. I feel like my fat distributes itself in places it isn't even supposed to in normal humans. I look like a fat, hunch-backed, square faced monster and I'm sure every thin person who sees me thinks the same.
[Rant/Rave] always fail at restricting but fasting is easy for me
/u/cisheterpatriarchy [5'6 | 146lbs | GW: 116lbs]
Created: Wed Feb 21 09:49:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z6z55/always_fail_at_restricting_but_fasting_is_easy/
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i can maybe go one or two days restricting below a calorie limit but i can fast so easily, i don't even feel hungry or dizzy or anything of the sort. fasting makes me feel great. meanwhile restricting for a bit will make me feel tired and cranky. this really sucks imo because if i do end up eating it'll be very difficult for me to stay below a certain amount of calories >.> it's either eat a large amount/ not eat at all for me and i wish i could find a medium
i find fasting much easier and rewarding in comparison to restricting. because one of two day of the week i can treat myself to eat what i like (not binge tho..) then i'll fast for a few days. it's become kind of addictive now, if i feel like shit i will just stop eating for 2 or 3 days and i'll feel amazing in that time period
[Other] My period is back?? I feel like a failure?
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:120 |19.7 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 09:41:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z6wsn/my_period_is_back_i_feel_like_a_failure/
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I havenāt had my period in 2 months now. At first I was nervous, but then I was kind of proud because I figured if I had restricted enough to lose my period I was on the right track.
I had to live with my parents for almost two weeks and I had to eat more than I normally would, which was generally 800 calories or under, but itās terrifying since I usually stay around 200 calories.
For the last few weeks Iāve been retaining water like crazy. I was 117 last month but Iāve been stuck at 120 and I know I havenāt been eating enough to actually gain.
I woke up this morning and went about my normal routine until I saw the blood. At first I was freaking out because I havenāt had to deal with this in a bit, but now I see that itās definitely my period.
I feel like a fucking failure. Itās been a bit difficult restricting the way that I used to after having to live with my parents for a bit and getting used to food. When I moved back out I was so excited to start restricting. Now my period is back and Iām kind of taking it as a sign that I havenāt been restricting enough and that I need to do some kind of water fast or something. I literally drank 3 liters of water a few days ago and I still havenāt lost all the water weight from that and uuuuuggggh
My body hates me. I canāt believe Iām bleeding like Iām on my period. I feel like shit. Has this happened to anyone else?? Iāve been restricting pretty well this week.. I pray that thereās some sort of whoosh after this period because I just want to get back to 117 and keep losing..
[Help] My maintenance TDEE is both too low and too high.
/u/quietpandaa [5'1 | 98 | 18.5 | 20F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 09:37:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z6vi7/my_maintenance_tdee_is_both_too_low_and_too_high/
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I desperately want to lose weight, but I think Iām unfortunately at a point where if I do either my parents will noticed Iāve relapsed when I go home, or my college will force me out (theyāre aware of my ED because of last year).
So I looked up my maintenance TDEE, and itās around 1300-1400?? Which on one hand is so low compared to anyone whoās not a tiny troll/chubby garden gnome. But at the same time I havenāt gone over 900 all year and Iām more comfortable hovering around 600-800, where I think Iām sloooowly losing (canāt be sure because I donāt have a scale in my dorm room).
Yeah, thereās that. I have no idea what to do. Part of me wants to increase and maintain and maybe improve, but the other part is sneaking around with my Quest bars to eat when my roommate isnāt home.
I think Iām too scared to eat more.
[Discussion] Afraid to start a fast for fear of the inevitable binge at the end, while binging to prepare for the fast. >.<
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 298.4 | Goal: 270 | 46.7 | 0 | F ]
Created: Wed Feb 21 09:16:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z6pjj/afraid_to_start_a_fast_for_fear_of_the_inevitable/
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[removed]
Just stepped on the scale for the first time after a little recovery attempt...
/u/ShouNinja [170cm | CW 56kg | BMI 19.32 | GW 48kg | 20F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 08:39:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z6f34/just_stepped_on_the_scale_for_the_first_time/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Thinking of how I can hide inspo quotes around my room
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 21 08:36:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z6efv/thinking_of_how_i_can_hide_inspo_quotes_around_my/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z6efv/thinking_of_how_i_can_hide_inspo_quotes_around_my/
[Help] How do you actually open up in therapy
/u/shapay199
Created: Wed Feb 21 06:52:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z5o23/how_do_you_actually_open_up_in_therapy/
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So, Iām trying. Iām really ACTUALLY trying to get better, and Iāve been in therapy for a while now, but I think she doesnāt really get yet how deep set this problem really is for me, especially when I say that gaining weight or staying the way I am sounds like a death sentence to me. Like, the night before a session I will cry for two hours because I looked in the mirror for a second and swear to myself that I will fast for the next week, and really be on the edge of sanity. And then the next morning I sit there and I canāt let it out, I canāt cry, I canāt talk about how miserable Iām feeling, I canāt say that Iāve basically given up. I just seem pretty calm and collected. Iām just too good at keeping up his image that Iām fine and I think itās really hurting my progress. Have any of you had the same problem and found a way to counteract it?
[Other] Any other 5'10" 's out there?
/u/javi-paz
Created: Wed Feb 21 06:20:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z5gwk/any_other_510_s_out_there/
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I just recently gained some weight and Im feeling disgusting. Im up one size and so I feel like a sausage in all my clothes. Uhgg.
Im pretty tall and this allows the weight to be not thaaaat noticeable. But my boyfriend said the other day that i was chubbier. And this is coming from the same man who couldnt even tell when i was severely underweight.
This is the ending point for me. I started gaining since we moved together and we tend to eat together and he loves carby meals and so it has been really hard to restrict with him around most of the time. He works from home too. He also likes to 'celebrate' with food and so every ocassion is the opportunity to eat crap for him. When I was living by myself i would usually buy three or four safe foods and it worked for me. The new filled with sweets and carbs home has been my demise and the beginnig of my hated binges. Any suggestions or similar stories?
Also, and the starting point of this post was to see if there are any other 5'10" girls here that could share their stats.
My current weight is 143, my lowest was 115 and my ideal is 125. I am very big boned and so at that weight I look very bony. :) my ideal thigh size is 19 inches which is the lower they have been. I am very pear-sized.
Care to share pics and stats? And comments welcome please!
[Other] ketosis is fun
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 06:07:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z5e5h/ketosis_is_fun/
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https://i.redd.it/qfunchhsekh01.png
[Help] Plateauing?
/u/elevenosix__ [158 cm| 54kg | 21 | 1kg | F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 06:03:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z5db5/plateauing/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Finally getting over my weight loss fuckarounditis (and possibly myself)
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 129 | GW: 110]
Created: Wed Feb 21 05:37:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z58bk/finally_getting_over_my_weight_loss/
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I'm down 3 lbs since last week and you'll never guess how - by eating 500 calories below my TDEE, almost like a normal goddamn person.
I went through several weeks of failed attempts at fasting and severe restriction, each resulting in a massive binge/purge session and ultimately bringing me no results. I would lose a couple of pounds and gain them all back immediately, with a couple of extra tons of self-loathing on top.
This wasn't the first time I did this kind of bullshit to myself either. Last summer I spent a couple of months that way before forcing myself into a longer streak of extreme restriction (think 300-500 cals/day). I reached my LW back then - along with the "always-cold-and-sorta-foggy" kind of malnourishment at the stupidly normal BMI of 20.
Well, this time around I suddenly managed to "snap out" of it before it got out of control. For whatever reason the required self-hatred is just not there anymore. I no longer want to be skeletal or to starve myself to death. I guess I feel for once that my life isn't so hopelessly miserable as it seemed before and I want to work on it instead of focusing all of my energy on thinking how much of a fat loser I am.
Don't get me wrong: I'm nowhere close to recovering just yet. My bulimic habits are very much still there and I still find myself being more comfortable with the idea of purging rather than just, you know, not losing a tiny bit of weight the next morning, or god forbid, gaining. And I still want to be 110 lbs.
But this is the first time in about a year I'm able to eat in a more sane way on a regular basis, not feel guilty about it, lose weight and live my life without turning it all into some sort of dramatic obsession.
Sorry for this wall of text, but I feel like this is a major shift for me and there is no one else I can tell about it.
[Rant/Rave] Since I began lurking in this sub, a lot of your stories have made me realise I might have a problem.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 21 05:37:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z5881/since_i_began_lurking_in_this_sub_a_lot_of_your/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 21, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Feb 21 05:12:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z53e2/daily_food_diary_february_21_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 21, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday February 21, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Feb 21 05:11:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z5361/way_to_go_wednesday_february_21_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for February 21, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Discussion] February 21st, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 04:59:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z510f/february_21st_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What is the current buzzword?
Also, if the weather is really bad where you are, please be safe!!! Drive like there is ice everywhere. No special trips to get binge food š
[Other] B/pāing instead of sleep, but just got a Peach so thatās cool?
/u/Hollyfoot [5ā9ā | 95lbs]
Created: Wed Feb 21 04:54:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z502r/bping_instead_of_sleep_but_just_got_a_peach_so/
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[removed]
[Help] Crying over the possibility of cake
/u/spyrothedaddy [5'4"|CW:102.8|BMI:17.6|F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 04:49:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z4z9w/crying_over_the_possibility_of_cake/
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I have to go to a birthday dinner tonight which Iām already stressed about and my mum just mentioned she might buy a cake. Iāve recently relapsed and I just canāt stop crying. Iām an adult I shouldnāt be crying over cake š
[Help] I want to end things so bad
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 21 04:27:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z4vjg/i_want_to_end_things_so_bad/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Unplanned binges are the worst
/u/peppermintschnapps55 [5'4" | -30 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 04:14:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z4t6v/unplanned_binges_are_the_worst/
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[removed]
[Other] I feel like such a worthless piece of shit right now
/u/datnastaythrowaway [H 164 | CW 56kg | GW: 50kg]
Created: Wed Feb 21 03:39:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z4nig/i_feel_like_such_a_worthless_piece_of_shit_right/
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https://i.redd.it/gcns5vwlojh01.jpg
Has anyone had success on Atkins diet?
/u/Disputeanocean
Created: Wed Feb 21 03:10:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z4itc/has_anyone_had_success_on_atkins_diet/
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[removed]
[Intro] Relapse
/u/pitterpatter25
Created: Wed Feb 21 02:35:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z4dgh/relapse/
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I had the worst night Iāve had in a long time last night, and all day today was pretty bad too. Iām very, very deep down the depression hole and have been a wreck. As a result, I barely ate anything today. I had a mini frozen burrito and a small soft taco with just chicken and cheese on it... this is a huge cutback from how much Iāve been eating daily over the last year or so. Itās just past 2am now and Iām laying in bed and kind of scared because itās like I can tell I would be having a bad night again, but knowing I restricted so well today is giving me enough comfort to stay in a moderately manageable mood. I recognize how disordered thinking this is... and I donāt really care. My stomach is rumbling, Iām really hungry and all I can think about is the microwave pizza in my freezer but I wonāt allow myself to go get it and quite honestly Iām getting a little joy out of denying it to myself. Iām scared this is going to continue but I also hope it kind of does. Iām very overweight at 215lbs, the heaviest Iāve ever been in my life. I kind of want to ride this out and lose some weight.
[Discussion] Fave C&S Foods...?
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 02:23:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z4bn9/fave_cs_foods/
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[removed]
[Tip] My roomie is binging as Iļø type
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 02:05:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z48mf/my_roomie_is_binging_as_i_type/
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For some reason Iļø get so irked about this(*likely because Iām nervous Iāll get into the habit, or because she thinks itās super secret*):
Almost every night after Iļø go to my room to go to bed (Iļø.e, lie in bed and reddit the night away), my roommate waits about two minutes, then walks into the kitchen and starts anxiously digging through the cupboards for a few minutes, hides in her bathroom š½, then comes in a second time, more rustling and banging of the cupboards, back to the bathroom, and sometimes back to the cupboards again.
One time Iļø walked out of my room to go to the bathroom (thinking she was finally done with her midnight affairs) and she immediately gasped and frantically turned off the lights (before realizing that turning off the lights made whatever she was doing look super suspicious).
Anybody else get irked by someone they know when they do their āsuper top secretā ed behaviors?
[Rant/Rave] Rant about sisters and family
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 21 01:02:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z3z3d/rant_about_sisters_and_family/
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[deleted]
Same
/u/Canyoubelievethat1
Created: Wed Feb 21 00:21:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z3sbx/same/
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https://i.redd.it/59p8zs06pih01.jpg
[Discussion] How can we love ourselves at the weight we're at RIGHT NOW?
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 113.2 | 21.45 | -7 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 21 00:21:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z3s9p/how_can_we_love_ourselves_at_the_weight_were_at/
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Don't mistake me here, I'm not going to tell anyone to recover, or to eat more, or to exercise less, or to stop any disordered behavior if they don't want to. I sure as heck don't want to recover or gain weight or stop losing weight. I want to lose as much weight as I can, like, *yesterday*. I am not on about forced or fake recovery. Not at all.
But... I had a thought. Yes, I want to lose weight. A fair portion of us do. But how can we make losing that weight as easy on ourselves as possible? Maybe we don't have to wait until we're *finally* skinny and worthy and perfect to have a few little joys here and there. Maybe we can love ourselves as best we can *while* we're undergoing our (hopefully successful) transformations instead of just once we've reached our UGW.
I keep a mental-health-related artistic journal, and fill out self-help workbooks and decorate the pages.
What do you do (or what do you want to start doing) to take care of yourselves and make yourselves feel good *before* you've reached your *after*?
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I have no one to talk to
/u/ketogirl98
Created: Tue Feb 20 23:53:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z3n7j/i_feel_like_i_have_no_one_to_talk_to/
---
Hi guys,
I was active here about a year ago when I started my recovery. I ended therapy in July because I moved across the nation, and now I am back to my struggles.
Where I live now it's very hard to get hold of therapy. I tried when I first moved, but since I had come a bit in recovery meaning I was back to eating, they said that I'm that far into recovery that I don't need their help. I've gone back so some of my old behaviours, and I need help. Going to university 4 hours away from home is stressfull, and I've not become that close friends with someone so that I feel safe enough to tell them how I feel regarding food and so one. There is one girl that I've told I have a past in eating disorders, but the problem is that she does not understand what I feel. She does not understand when I say I don't want to eat, or that I really want to eat but at the same time don't want to.
My parents don't understand either. My boyfriend who was very supportive a year ago when I started therapy seems to have forgotten I have struggles at all. Whenever I say what is on my mind he says that "it feels like u are digging yourself deeper into the ED by choice" and I cant tell him that sometimes that just feels easier. Because there is as much anxiety in the ED. Some things are just easier in being disordered.
I am going to call the local therapist when they open in 10 minutes. Its the same clinic that refused me a while ago, but my situation is completely different now. Although Im not sure if Im ready to recover. But at the same time it is hard being sick, but it is also hard recovering.
This post must be a total cachous. But whatever, so am I lol
How to cope with pressure?
/u/directordenial11
Created: Tue Feb 20 22:41:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z38w5/how_to_cope_with_pressure/
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[removed]
lowest calorie breakfast item on this menu?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 20 22:37:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z381k/lowest_calorie_breakfast_item_on_this_menu/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Best quest bar?
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 22:18:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z33za/best_quest_bar/
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Never tried one but I hear you guys talk about them all the time. Many recommendations?
[Discussion] Questions for those of you that have BED (or just struggle w/ binging) and also those of you who got your binging under control or at least somewhat under control (esp if u read brain over binge)
/u/intensitei [5ā8 | fat | 23F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 22:14:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z334f/questions_for_those_of_you_that_have_bed_or_just/
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so iāve been seeing a lot of posts about brain over binge!
if youāve read it/had experience with it, did it work? what exactly made it click for you?
if it didnāt work for you, why do you think didnāt it work?
iāve been reading a little bit about the techniques used in the book and iām unsure if it would work for me, personally. so iām hella curious
and also those of you who have never read or even heard of this book but have found ways to combat binging... howād you do it? how are you managing?
when i binge itās either a āfilling the voidā/comfort eating thing or a self-harm thing. it definitely has to do with lack of control. acting on impulse. anyone feel the same? howād you overcome it? or how are you dealing with it rn?
sorry for the 90 questions iām just rly curious about the experiences of other ppl who struggle w this and also basically just wanna feel less alone in my BED
[Help] Adderall withdrawal
/u/oriamB [5'6 | CW 135? | GW 120 | always fluctuating | F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 21:17:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z2q93/adderall_withdrawal/
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Last spring I would take Adderall ALL the time to help suppress my appetite and help me run faster and longer. I now no longer take it, and i find my workouts definitely haven't been as intense & i obviously eat way more. Any tips on what could aid me instead? I have 200mg caffeine pills but i really dont feel a difference when i take them, and the only preworkout i've tried makes my hands itchy =[
ED Related Nightmares
/u/warmbagel53
Created: Tue Feb 20 20:51:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z2jz8/ed_related_nightmares/
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Does anyone else have these? If so, please share. I had one the other night where I collapsed on the treadmill because all of my limbs grew completely numb.. it was horrifying
Is there any reasonable way to avoid food advertising?
/u/Sarahlump
Created: Tue Feb 20 20:00:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z27ko/is_there_any_reasonable_way_to_avoid_food/
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Every interaction with the world outside of locking mysf in the library at uni and studying has food ads.
[Discussion] I can't believe a banana has over 100 calories!
/u/dearisabella [5'2" | CW: 120 | GW: 105 | 21F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 19:36:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z21hj/i_cant_believe_a_banana_has_over_100_calories/
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That's equivalent to two and a half slices of deli turkey breast.
Starting to track on MyFitnessPal has made me realize how many calories are actually in food.
Do you guys eat bananas?
[Rant/Rave] ugh i hate myself
/u/SmartOwls [F5'10| CW 132.7 | BMI 18.5 | GW 120]
Created: Tue Feb 20 19:15:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z1wc2/ugh_i_hate_myself/
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i did so good all weekend, i managed to stay within my high restriction goals even though i was around family and food alot. that is until holiday monday rolled around.
i made lemon poppyseed loaf and cinnamon buns for the inlaws and made the mistake of thinking i could handle having 'just a taste'. holy crap biggest mistake ever. i c/s an entire cinnamon bun, and a lemon poppyseed muffin thinking that might stave off a binge; mistake number 2. i then proceeded to eat several pieces of sliced salami and gouda cheese with cucumbers and inhaled an inordinate amount of salted popcorn.
this morning i had gained weight and of course hated myself so what did it do? i ate an entire slice of lemon poppyseed loaf for breakfast and instead of fasting throughout the day like i intended i ate 2 plain rice cakes, 5 white cheddar rice cakes and another slice of lemon poppy seed loaf once i got home from work. i also c/s a 2nd slice of loaf and a muffin.
im now sitting here in bed drinking tea and diet soda trying not to think about food. i should be studying but instead i'm searching for wedding dresses for my upcoming wedding (cuz thats exactly what my fat ass needs right now) and realizing that nothing i like will ever look good on me and yeah. i hate this shit and i know i'm going to have gained weight again tomorrow and i just cant seem to stop eating!
[Rant/Rave] Binged and purged... feeling crappy
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 129 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.1 | F21]
Created: Tue Feb 20 19:12:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z1via/binged_and_purged_feeling_crappy/
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My binge was only about 400 calories, and I think I got all of it out within 20 minutes of eating, but now idk how many calories I absorbed :( I was doing so well restricting this last week, i don't want this to ruin my streak
Edit: Just binged again, even more this time. Don't know if I have the energy to purge again, Im basically at maintenace calories rn and im freaking out! :'(
Edit number 2: Managed to purge a second time... this has been a roller coaster of a day.
[Other] I've missed my eating disorder SO much.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | went to treatment | send help | F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 18:54:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z1qp2/ive_missed_my_eating_disorder_so_much/
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I feel sick for saying this but it feels so good to be engaging in the comfort of my eating disorder. I've missed restricting, counting calories, etc. so much. Although I know 2 months from now I'm going to be miserable and realize my eating disorder is hell, I just love it right now.
I left treatment in July 2016 and my long-term relationship just ended 10 days ago. So yeah, I'm seeking solace in my eating disorder. Between recovery and the relationship, I've gained SO much weight and it feels so good to be back in control. I haven't weighed myself because I know my weight is going to be way higher than I expect it to be. But I'll weigh myself on March 20th as long as I restrict non-stop between now and then.
Today I've had 385 calories (0 carbs, too!) and fasted for about 20 hours prior to that. I started using the Zero app to help with IF but started the timer last night a few hours after I actually stopped eating. I think my goal is going to be to do at least 18 hours of fasting within a 24 hour period of time.
There isn't really a point to this post but I guess I just wanted to share my day and thought process with the community. I hope you're all having a great week!
[Rant/Rave] Ever y one is encouraging my unhealthy eating habits.
/u/omg_for_real
Created: Tue Feb 20 18:33:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z1lnx/ever_y_one_is_encouraging_my_unhealthy_eating/
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I am obese, like super morbidly obese. I used to binge, no purging, and that combined with a sedentary job and some meds made me gain weight. Iāve always been a big girl anyway.
Recently Iāve started fasting, I lost 32 kg. I started at 155 kg I am now 123kg. My gp noticed, and my bloods were showed a whole bunch of vitamin deficiencies and an electrolyte imbalance. So I confessed. He sent me to a psych to get some help.
Anyway, I get to the psych, and their opinion is basically Iām to fat for an eating disorder. And they said to my face that isnāt loosing weight a good thing? And they told me that being fat would kill me before fasting would. I didnāt know how to feel.
I had to go to a gp, I donāt get my normal one, and he looked at my notes and basically said loosing weight is good, keep it up! Take all these vitamins, drink these electrolytes, and Metamucil tablets will help keep you feeling full, good luck and . Keep up he good work.
So they encouraged me to help fasting and the gp enabled me. I want to loose weight, but Iām scared Iāll damage myself by fasting, or doing it wrong. But now I just canāt bring myself to eat. And when I do I get so anxious, and I feel so nauseous.
My ex comes to help look after our kids, and he always brings food, like pizza, kfc, hungry jacks, ice cream, or a bunch of junk food from the grocery store, cause he knows I dont keep it in the house and he likes to give the kids a treat. But he pushes, and pushes, and pushes me to join in and eat with them. And then to keep eating, and before I know it Iām having a good time and forgetting to watch my food and Iāve binged. Then I get so anxious about my weight, and all the complications that can come up. Iām lucky I donāt have high blood pressure or diabetes yet, but Iām not exactly healthy.
I just wanted someone to talk to, who would understand I guess. Iām scared and find it hard to stand up for myself.
Ideally Iād just like to restrict and lose 1-2 kg a week. Not all out fast, cause it ruined me, and I couldnāt look after the kids. But. Now that I have all the tools handed to me by the gp I feel I can just stop eating, and the temptation is so strong. I keep thinking about how great it will be to be normal sized. To not have people comment and stare, to buy clothes in normal shops and not have to squeeze past people.
[Rant/Rave] Having a melt down because MFP isn't working!
/u/Sharkiiie [5'9"| CW: 171lbs | 24.8 | WL: 20lbs| F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 18:15:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z1gog/having_a_melt_down_because_mfp_isnt_working/
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Is anyone else having problems with MFP? I'll add my food, hit the check mark, and then.... NOTHING. I'm freaking out even though I know how many calories I've eaten today, but because I can't log it, I feel like I've had 8000 calories.
Of course my wonderful coworker made a "joke" about "how much I eat in a day" even though if she counted the calories, she would realize I've had PRACTICALLY NOTHING! But then I felt SO self conscious because I couldn't really physically SEE how many calories I had perfectly placed out. And now I'm second guessing my count even though I know I'm right. UGH.
Sorry for the rant.
Leave me alone!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 20 18:11:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z1fmd/leave_me_alone/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone else pumped for ladiesā Olympic figure skating tonight?
/u/physics_chick [Height 5'8" | GW: 120 | CW: yikes | F ]
Created: Tue Feb 20 17:37:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z16ow/anyone_else_pumped_for_ladies_olympic_figure/
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Iām actually a huge fan of skating as a sport, but thereās the additional bonus of watching thin, gorgeous people do incredible things with their bodies. It should inspire me to be healthy and take care of myself, but my brain is broken so it just inspires me to be thin.
[Help] Binge Restrict Spiral-- HELP ME
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Tue Feb 20 17:28:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z14dl/binge_restrict_spiral_help_me/
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Hey everyone,
First time posting in a while seeing as me and my ED were 'getting along' for quite some time. But, I'm afraid I'm really close to hitting a wall. My binge/restrict cycle is getting out of control and happening more and more. Before I was able to regularly restrict and be seemingly okay with a binge maybe once a week. But now it's happening maybe 2-3 days a week (sometimes more) and I just feel absolutely horrible about myself. I will say the binging is ALWAYS stemming from drinking and my drinking is ALWAYS stemming from me making my brain wanting to stop thinking. Things have been really stressful for me lately, so I am trying to think of ways to cope without drinking or doing drugs, but clearly am doing a shit job. Exercise yes, but what about on the days when I'm so tired all I want to do is go home and have a drink?
Can you guys give me some tips on what to do to make this stop because I feel like I'm going nuts.
[Discussion] February 20th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 17:23:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z133e/february_20th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What word did you over use today?
[Rant/Rave] Why is it so hard to get a therapist?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 17:10:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z0znc/why_is_it_so_hard_to_get_a_therapist/
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I know this sub isnāt for recovery but I thought maybe some of you would understand. Iām trying so hard to fight back against the impulse to let my ED take over, and it feels like the universe is not having it.
I go to a university with a counselling center, am covered by not one but two types of insurance, have tons of free time during the day for appointments, and *work in the mental health field* and I *still* canāt manage to find a therapist. Either Iām not sick enough or too sick, they donāt take my insurance, they can only see me during the one hour a day I actually have something to do, they donāt pick up the phone when I call or call me back when I leave a message, theyāre located an hour away, they subscribe to weird, cult-like practices.... Iām just so tired of this. Iām trying to do something good for myself for a change, and it shouldnāt be this difficult.
And you want to know the real kicker? That one hour a week where I canāt meet that all therapists seem to have open? Itās a meeting for a project that is trying to figure out how to get mental healthcare to people who canāt access it.
Iām so done.
[Discussion] How do you guys classify a binge?
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Tue Feb 20 16:49:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z0u4e/how_do_you_guys_classify_a_binge/
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I think for a lot of us any over eating at all is considered a binge, and sometimes just eating something that wasnāt planned.
Also I think what for someone else would be regular over indulging or snacking, we consider a huge funk up and hate ourselves for it.
I donāt count calories so I consider any time I mindlessly eat or emotional eat a binge- but I feel like often Iām just eating how a regular person might eat, I just let my fear of food make me feel guilty about it.
Iāve realized that when I donāt consider my eating bingeing, it makes me feel a lil less compelled to keep eating after Iāve reached full and feel less bad about myself.
I hope this makes sense but I was just curious your guysā thoughts.
[Rant/Rave] The day after a binge...
/u/steamedbun_27
Created: Tue Feb 20 16:37:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z0qus/the_day_after_a_binge/
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[removed]
[Goal] Donating my clothes
/u/tahiniii [68" ā 131 ā 19.5 ā -15 ā 24F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 16:30:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z0ouh/donating_my_clothes/
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So my latest way to keep myself at low restriction is every time I lose, I have to get rid of some clothes I don't wear or won't fit me when I lose another few pounds. I made this rule after realizing I have way too many clothes I haven't worn in SOO LONG!! It's been really helpful to motivate myself, my goal is to fill up the bag I'm putting them in and bring them to either a women's shelter, or to a local thrift store.
[Rant/Rave] Birthday nightmare
/u/MonsterGrandma
Created: Tue Feb 20 16:29:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z0onb/birthday_nightmare/
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[removed]
[Tip] It's not your will power that's the problem - I think I've broken the binge cycle for good after five years. My process, I hope it's of some help!
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 109 | GW2: 105 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Tue Feb 20 16:19:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z0ltg/its_not_your_will_power_thats_the_problem_i_think/
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/long post warning (I've baisically compiled highlights from 4 books here) /
I am currently on my longest no-binge streak since being deep into anorexia two years ago, except this time I feel a hell of a lot calmer and like *I* have control. I am still losing weight through "higher" restriction and I am able to avoid eating with comparative ease, I thought I'd share some insights I've made this year and how.
Firstly, I'd like to stress that I don't say any of this lightly; I've struggled with food since I was around 13 and spent the last *five years* stuck in a flux of overeating and starving. **I know painfully well how impossible it can seem to stop.** November I reached my highest weight of 117 up from 90 when I was at my deepest into restriction (the binges got so much worse in recovery). I am now 109 and losing!
I don't know, something just snapped the beginning of this year, it was just kind of like *fuck, is this going to torture me for the rest of my life??* And I just couldn't anymore so I dove into researching and trying everything because I was beginning to feel like an *addict*. Like, I'd watched every diet video on youtube, you probably know the sort of stuff that sounds helpful in theory but doesn't really work out. I wanted something more concrete, here's what I found helpful:
__________________________________________________________________
**UNDERSTANDING BINGE URGES**
You've probably all heard of the book *Brain Over Binge*. Ultimately this book didn't really help me stop my own binges (it was more inspiration than motivation to me personally) but it was the first text that truly made sense to me:
> We binge because we have urges to. There is no deeper reason.
The book basically explains that binge urges and cravings are *learned* from habit, imbedded as survival mechanisms. The only reason you're wanting to binge regularly is because, at some point, you started binging regularly.
The more you binge the more you'll want to and essentially, the only way to make the cravings leave for good is to ignore them.
Yeah, makes sense but seems impossible to put into practice. Often, it feels impossible in that moment to not binge. The author's binges were worse than my own though, and she struggled for almost a decade. If she could beat them, I thought I could try and I kept on hoping.
**It was most helpful to keep remembering that, in those intense moments, it is the learned desire to binge causing the struggle, not the body's deprivation of the binge food. Think this is false desire, not deprivation.**
_________________________________________________________________
**NUTRITION**
*The Binge Code* is written by another recovered bulimic. It was the second book I read and although I didn't agree with the agree with some of the author's suggestions (a very high cal plan and eating when not hungry as a rule) I was intrigued by her suggestion that **nutritional deficiencies can act as 'binge traps'.**
I made a [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u41ku/magnesium_supplement_may_have_just_saved_my/) on magnesium not so long ago and oh my god, the difference meeting your RDI of trace minerals makes on cravings is insane. **The cravings really began to dissipate after getting into the habit of taking the supplements that were right for me.**
__________________________________________________________________
**CRAVINGS AND COPING MECHANISMS**
*The Binge Code* was also initially extremely helpful in teaching me how to deal with those intense craving. There are two methods the author preaches that I found worked well:
**ZEN10** When a craving hits, remember zen10, say it. Then take ten minuets before you decide to act on the craving. Craving still there? Raincheck and try another 10. Most of the time it will dissipate.
Releasing tension through **Mimicking the fight or flight response** during the zen10 makes the body think the threat is over and can rid of the urge to binge. To do this clench every muscle in your body and breath in. Hold for eight seconds and exhale for eight. Repeat four times. It is surprisingly effective if you really focus on it.
_________________________________________________________________
**COMPLETELY DISCONNECTING FROM BINGE HABITS**
There is so much I could write here but honestly, I think everyone should read these next two books. *Skinny Thinking Workbook* Is a book which can potentially be completed over I think 30 weeks, I read it in two nights.
Just, read this book. It was pretty amazing actually, the control I felt the next day, I'd experience an urge and be able to view it as foreign, a want of the Ego (primal, saboutarging brain) trying to contradict Essence (rational brain). I think the most helpful principles are the ones on the concept of deprivation when your feeling the urge to binge:
* You can have anything you want. Just not everything. What do you want to deprive yourself of, the fantasy binge or the fantasy body?
* You are not depriving yourself of the pleasure of eating, you are simply refusing to eat for pleasure. In doing this, you will fully appreciate healthful foods.
* Who is feeling deprived? You, who wants to be skinny, or the Ego who wants to reinforce its power through strengthening this habit? It's dying and not happy about it.
* Every single opportunity you get to not give into cravings are an opportunity to make them weaker. They won't reoccur forever. A month, tops.
**The author also states not to fear hunger, our bodies are adaptable and it's okay not to be comfortable sometimes. "Hunger is a friend."**
_________________________________________________________________
**PERSONIFYING THAT SABOUTARGING MECHANISM IN YOUR BRAIN**
Whilst *STWB* explained these urges, it wasn't the easiest thing to implement into my thought process. *Never Binge Again* is the last book I've read and I think it does this perfectly.
**Imagine, everytime one of those learned urges rises up, it is not coming from a part of your own brain but a pig living in it and trying to *trick* you into feeding it. It will use every excuse it can to convince you. If you don't feed it for a month or so, it dies - and the cravings literally vanish.**
This is by far the easiest thing to implement. Every time I get a craving now, even one that would have been extremely hard to ignore previously I can simply ask myself: **Does my body want this, or the pig?.** You, the Essence and autonomy, are the one with the power, not your Ego, the lower brain. A false survival mechanism can be unlearned.
> **You are the jailor and the pig is the hostage, not the other way round. If the pig had the power it would physically be moving your limbs. The only thing it can do is tempt you into sustaining it.**
The book's core principle is that a binge is any time you were unwantedly swayed off your meal plan by the pig. The author is very black and white and I have personally found that creating a list of NEVER and "SOMETIMES, IF" foods, and clear rules (one of mine, for example is bread only in the morning) to be very helpful and take a lot of "should I, should I not" pressure off.
The author has his own [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLD5wZRmKOuixUvFvDQH2Jg) actually, really helpful short videos for when you need a reminder!
__________________________________________________________________
**IN SHORT: IT IS NOT THE FOOD THAT YOU WANT, IT IS RELEASE FROM THOSE STRESSFUL, LEARNED SURVIVAL URGES.**
***In those intense moments, craving, it can feel like this is all secondary to what you're feeling but feelings are not facts. Feelings are not facts. Feelings a r e n o t facts***
I really do recommend reading all the books I mentioned here, I got them on kindle. Understanding these urges has helped me beat them, it's been amazingly helpful to read about binging in the same manner as addiction instead of trying the same willpower tricks again and again, and wondering why it's not working.
I also reccomend reading the books in the order I've listed them in.
This is a *very* abridged compilation of the sources, but I really hope it can provide a starting point for someone. If I could find help in it, hell, I feel like anything's possible.
**You can literally best this habit within a couple of months. It's pretty exciting actually. <3**
The scale wonāt move!
/u/graesticks
Created: Tue Feb 20 15:54:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z0f2n/the_scale_wont_move/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Thinking you save money but in reality waste more than you would if you didn't have an ED
/u/glossboy
Created: Tue Feb 20 15:11:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7z02tg/thinking_you_save_money_but_in_reality_waste_more/
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Part of me sometimes thinks "wow, look at all the little amount of food I eat, I must be saving money on groceries.
And the reality is *no* because of all the prepackaged food I purchase when I can be meal prepping and saving money by buying fresh produce and preparing it myself.
Also all the binge days I just haul food and then can't finish it so the next day out of guilt end up just throwing it all out.
[Goal] Let's exercise the feels away?
/u/reee_frog
Created: Tue Feb 20 14:33:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yzra1/lets_exercise_the_feels_away/
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I've been feeling shit lately. Partly due to medicine come-downs, partly due to weight gain, partly due to boys. Ugh.
But I noticed after a jog I feel... alright. I guess. Like I did something. Or lifting weights.
I also read a thread where people explained the thinnest they were in their life was typically when they were in sports and ate so much but never gained, or just high school because back in school you used up more energy with daily P.E. sessions, amongst other things of course, but still.
But then there's people who say working out just makes them hungrier and therefore gain weight?
Idk where I'm going with this. I guess who's going to exercise "with me" and come back and say what they did? I think that's a good idea... I just feel so alone.
[Discussion] Does anyone else have an identical twin?
/u/pickles023 [5'6"|CW: 130|BMI: 21.07|GW: 110|22 F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 14:11:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yzkqe/does_anyone_else_have_an_identical_twin/
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I know itās kind of a weird question, but does anyone else have an identical twin?
My twin sister is a really great person, but itās super hard to be around her. She hasnāt really changed since high school, and is thinner than me. I just wish I could be around her without realizing that I have pretty much the most accurate representation of what Iāll look like when I finally get closer to my goals. And thatās on top of feeling bad because I want to be the smaller one.
[Help] Really scared to where this will lead, just want to feel less on my own about it
/u/merrenerrem
Created: Tue Feb 20 14:02:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yzhpg/really_scared_to_where_this_will_lead_just_want/
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Hey guys, just made this throwaway as I have friends that follow my main account. (On mobile, so apologies for format etc)
These are my stats f18/ 5ā7ā/SW: 174 / CW: 139
Since the end of October Iāve managed to lose 35lbs, but gradually Iāve become so obsessed with losing weight I find it suffocating, my every thought is about food decisions and I find I spend hours at my local food shop analysing food labels and hours on this sub and others like 1200 is plenty and any tiny water weight fluctuation dictates my mood. I weigh myself 8+ times a day and the thought of hiding my scale
Away makes me so anxious. Iāve hit a plateau and have bounced between 142-139 for the past 3 weeks and I just donāt know what to doš a week last Saturday I binged for the very first time and it was so scary how out of control I felt and I just donāt want it to become a regular thing, I felt dreadful after but the high I got from eating anything that came into sight was like nothing Iāve ever experienced before after eating at a deficit for 4 months.
Iām not sure what I was going to get from posting here I just want to feel less alone and less like Iām going absolutely crazy.
[Help] Can someone help with TDEE calculation?
/u/little-paws
Created: Tue Feb 20 14:01:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yzhl3/can_someone_help_with_tdee_calculation/
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I usually set it to sedentary, and don't count extra exercise calories etc, but I am curious - what is the difference between the different levels of activity?
I am a student, so quite sedentary as I'm usually just sitting studying, but I also cycle between 4-6 miles a day as my commute.
Thanks for the help!
[Help] How do you guys deal with hairloss that comes with malnutrition?
/u/figglygiggly
Created: Tue Feb 20 13:47:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yzd7t/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_hairloss_that_comes/
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Ever since my downward spiral in terms of mental health my once-thick hair has halved in density. Itās not thin yet but Iām terrified that itās getting there. What do you guys do to fight hair loss? Are there any foods that will help without making me feel like garbage? Do you take any specific vitamin supplements?
Really really scared š
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 20 13:42:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yzbp1/really_really_scared/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Very sudden motivation to make weight in attempt to look better than my best friend (bitch alert ahead)
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118.6 ]
Created: Tue Feb 20 12:40:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yys6t/very_sudden_motivation_to_make_weight_in_attempt/
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I have been hanging out with my best friend going out drinking a lot for the past... like 4 months. I've always considered myself attractive but next to her it's hard to stand out (think Blake Lively), I'm darker skinned, so even though I'm decent looking, you kind of have to be into that over a blond-hair blue-eyed bombshell. When I first met her a year ago, she was in great shape, had great skin, and was obviously a knock out. Whenever we go out together guys will hit on us and buy us drinks but typically tend to favor her. As someone who was used to getting that attention before she came into the picture, it started getting to me that both guys we would end up hanging out with would add her over instagram and completely forget I existed.
Since we've been doing nothing but drinking and binging Mcdonalds late at night, we have both gained a fair bit of weight. We started going to the gym together but the difference is she'll still have pizza for lunch and only run for about 10 minutes, this has not been doing anything for her weight or for her skin. My ED has kicked back in a little and so I've been restricting and running for much longer.
So to get to the inspiration part. Yesterday (Presidents day) we went out drinking and ran into someone who met us at the same time a year ago. He recognized me right away and said I looked great and it took him awhile to recognize my friend. Later a mutual friend texted me saying so-and-so saw us out and that he barely recognized her because she had gained so much weight.
I swear I'm a horrible person, and I know that. But hearing that made my ED kick into HIGH HIGH HIGH gear and I'm sabotaging her success by opting to not go to the gym (telling her I'm not going to the gym today), because I know she won't go if I don't, then running on the treadmill I have at home. Like, if she continues to get bigger and I get smaller, than I will finally start to get all that attention she used to get and she'll know how I have been feeling first hand. Why why why am I like this. I hate that this makes me so excited, but seriously every time I start to feel hungry I just think about that text "She gained a lot of weight", and my hunger completely disappears.
Thanks for sticking through the rant, any mutual stories welcome
[Discussion] Flu-like symptoms while restricting
/u/frida569
Created: Tue Feb 20 12:18:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yylbg/flulike_symptoms_while_restricting/
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Iām in week 2 of the abc diet right now (6 kgs down, yay!) but Iāve been feeling really horrible. I started getting these lingering headaches, and all of my muscles ache to the point where I am in bed everyday by 7 pm. My eyes burn and hurt (kind of like when you get a fever except I donāt have one) is it just me?
[Discussion] Best fitness tracker?
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 12:13:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yyjje/best_fitness_tracker/
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What fitness tracker do you guys have? I just got a Fitbit Alta HR and I was wondering what people thought about that one or the ones that they have?
[Rant/Rave] DAE hate when people watch you eat?
/u/conspicere [š 5'3.5" | CW: 110 | GW: šÆ | š]
Created: Tue Feb 20 12:06:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yyhr8/dae_hate_when_people_watch_you_eat/
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Alright I know I said DAE but I know a lot of y'all can relate to this one haha
I've always hated making eye contact with people while I'm eating because my eyebrows twitch while I'm chewing and I used to get made fun of for it a lot in elementary school :( So I've been sort of conditioned to look down while I eat and not really talk to people if there's food in my mouth because I hate getting comments on it.
But recently, my SO will NOT stop looking at me while I eat. He'll take a bite, pause, and just kind of look at me while I'm chewing my food and won't stop looking until I look up and make eye contact with him. It's not every bite and it's not in a creepy way, he's just naturally a slow eater, but it's really been pissing me off.
I always tell him to stop looking at me because I don't like it when people watch me eat (which is true) but he won't stop doing it!! It makes me lose my appetite and want to stop eating because it's something I'm really sensitive about :(
Agh I'm not sure what to do about this but I just really needed to get it off my chest. Anyone else have similar stories? What did you do about it?
[Rant/Rave] Triggered
/u/alovelytime
Created: Tue Feb 20 11:43:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yyavn/triggered/
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I always read post on here about people running into real life thinspo in the form of coworkers, friends, peers, etc. For the first time yesterday I actually had a moment of complete awe and jealousy.
My friends at work have been mentioning another coworker lately, who they're friends with, but for some reason I still have not been able to meet yet(I work at a call center if that helps). Anyways, I finally got to meet her yesterday and holy shit was she absolutely gorgeous. She was taller than me, very thin, tan, long light brown hair, gorgeous facial structure, and light eyes. This girl was living, breathing thinspo.
I only got to hang out with her for our 15 minute break but I felt like such a creeper because I could not stop staring at her. Even they way her outfit laid on her body was just perfect. Just standing next to her made me feel like such a whale, I just can't believe people like her exist. Ugh I'm even more triggered now. The self hate is real.
[Discussion] short people weight lifting with a deficit
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'0" | CW 99 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Tue Feb 20 11:41:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yyaf3/short_people_weight_lifting_with_a_deficit/
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I think I want to try weight lifting but I have some misgivings and I'd like to hear from those of you who have done it.
What program did you do?
How many calories were you eating vs tdee?
Did you get "bigger"? Did you measure yourself before/after? Do you have pictures you can share?
How did you know how to do the moves without hurting yourself?
What did you do if someone was already on the machine/area you wanted to use?
Did you like it?
Do you spend more or less time at the gym when you lift vs cardio?
I am tempted to try it because I do want to lose fat and I want to be lean but I do not want a big butt or thighs or any of the instagram aesthetic. I noticed that Kayla Itsines looks great but most of the progress pictures she posts are of girls that don't look near as good as her. Most of them look bulky to me.
I looked my thinnest doing Rachael Attard's and Tracy Anderson's programs but I was also restricting a ton! So I am wondering if weight lifting is more effective? I just want to hear about your experiences. I actually really like cardio even though everyone complains about it on social media. Idk maybe I'm an anomaly.
[Discussion] Red Lobster
/u/fortunate-foolx [62 in. | CW:whale | GW: feather | -13 | 18F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 11:28:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yy6jn/red_lobster/
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okok, so all my posts are for advice and shit bc i'm a dry cunt with nothing interesting to put forth, so here i am. What do you guys usually order at Red Lobster? I'm genuinely curious, I already know what I'm eating, but I'm curious because I go there a lot because it's comfort food for me, honestly but I'm sick of eating the same thing everytime.
[Discussion] Today in ādoes it work or is it a scamā...
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 11:18:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yy3ja/today_in_does_it_work_or_is_it_a_scam/
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infrared treatments, sweat lodges, and lymphatic massages. Thereās one near me that claims a 55 minute session burns 800-1600 calories, which sounds crazy but my little ED heart loves that promise. Theyāre offering free trial sessions so Iām thinking about going. Does anyone here know if this works?
[Rant/Rave] So much for healthy maintenance.
/u/lesstobebetter
Created: Tue Feb 20 11:14:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yy2gi/so_much_for_healthy_maintenance/
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Why can't I find the happy medium? I'm either gaining or losing weight, I can't ever seem to just stay in one place.
I spent the end of summer and most of fall restricting and got down to a weight that I wasn't *happy* with, but that I could live with. I had lost 60lbs.
I decided to try to maintain that weight for a while.
I then proceeded to eat everything and gain back 17lbs in two months.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
The worst part is I have a crazy high TDEE because I'm really active (active hobbies, walk a ton for work, walk/bike for transportation) so in order to have gained this much I must have been eating *SO MUCH*. Like averaging 3000 calories a day. Which I kind of knew but I just didn't want to think about it.
In addition to getting back on MFP, I'm making a new rule: I can only eat if I'm hanging out with someone. This will have a threefold benefit of 1) forcing me to be more social 2) keeping me from binging while watching TV at night (which I do too much) and 3) helping me keep my level of restriction hidden from my BF, who gets worried any time he eats and I don't (which is ridiculous because he doesn't even know I have food issues).
Anyway. I'm back. Thanks for listening.
[Rant/Rave] I haven't posted here in a long time but I am freaking out and I thought you guys/gals could relate.
/u/MY-eyeholes
Created: Tue Feb 20 11:04:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yxzhk/i_havent_posted_here_in_a_long_time_but_i_am/
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I'm attending a bachelorette party in a month. Four weeks.
The works! Limos, fancy restaurants, high-class clubs.
I am the fattest person in the group that's going. By a lot. The bride is up around 185 but she's six feet tall so she really doesn't look it. And everything is in her boobs anyway. She's got a teeny waist and fantastic legs.
I'm at 200 lbs. I restrict my way down to 190 and then binge my way back up in these horrible cycles. I can't ever push through to the 180s.
Literally everyone besides me and the bride are smaller than a size 6. Most of them are size 2 or 0. The bride is a 12 and I'm a 16.
I want to have the actual time of my life (I'm 30 and have never had an evening like this) but I know I'm going to be obsessing about how shitty I look for the majority of the night. I just keep thinking about the pictures they'll be taking. It's not gonna look good. I can't find anything remotely acceptable to wear.
I know this isn't a diet tip sub. I don't need those. I don't need tricks or advice. I need someone to tell me that I can restrict for a full month and feel fantastic when we go out. That I can work hard for 30 days and be proud of myself and my body. I'm not going to lose the 75 lbs that I need to lose obviously lol. But I want to get closer to not being constantly ashamed of just existing.
[Rant/Rave] I Feel Disgusting
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Tue Feb 20 10:58:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yxxpe/i_feel_disgusting/
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I am such an idiot. My birthday was the day before yesterday and for the past two days I've binged like crazy. On top of that, I'm super bloated and I just got my period. I'm about to get in the shower, which I'm dreading because I hate looking at myself. I don't even want to weigh myself because I'm scared to see how much weight I've gained.
My breakfast was coffee and I honestly don't plan on eating anything today. I also just took midol and drank a bunch of water so hopefully that helps. I feel like shit. Thanks for listening. š
[Discussion] What to do about giant thighs?
/u/xwer15 [5'5| 135 | -25|GW:115| F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 10:58:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yxxjf/what_to_do_about_giant_thighs/
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I know you can't spot reduce but I've lost 30 pounds(flair not updated) and my thighs still are bigger than those of friends who weigh 10-15 pounds more. And it's not body dysmorphia it's me looking at them side to side and discreetly measuring with objects š
all the women in my family are curvy so I think it's a genetic thing. Even when I was underweight in high school I didn't have a thigh gap.
What can I do to get them toned and leaner? I can't run because of knee problems and I'm terrified of lifting and getting bigger. Please help before I saw the extra fat off ā¹ļøā¹ļø
[Rant/Rave] Finally dropped below 130 pounds!
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 129 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.1 | F21]
Created: Tue Feb 20 10:56:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yxwy8/finally_dropped_below_130_pounds/
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I'm so frickin excited! I have a long way to go, but still!!!! :D
[Intro] My family makes me worse
/u/pizzaneet
Created: Tue Feb 20 10:51:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yxvab/my_family_makes_me_worse/
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This is my first post, but I really needed to rant.
Ive always suffered with binge eating and have been fat as fuck because of this, but something snapped in me last year and Iāve lost nearly 30 pounds since the start of December. Iām still gross and overweight but I actually started to feel like maybe thereās some hope for me but ugh my uncle is awful.
I donāt really see him at all but he came to visit today and him and his fiancĆ©e are super into fitness and diet and always talk about the gym and the super long walks they take etc. Iāve known for a while they think Iām gross because Iām so fat but he brings it up every time I see him.
He would not stop talking about going to the gym, going on a fitness plan, how much better Iād be if I worked out. And yeah thatās true but I have the worst anxiety to the point where I find it hard to leave the house. So I told him Iāve been losing weight through diet (lol) and how I donāt really eat bad foods or drink alcohol etc, and heās just like āwell a treat is fineā. So then Iām like oh well I eat ice cream (halo top šš») sometimes and he just kinda scoffs and looks at me, then says āoh well ice cream is just bad for youā. Like?? What?? You just said bad stuff is fine on occasion but now if I eat anything that isnāt fucking lettuce Iām gross?
So basically now I feel disgusting and I want to cry because Iām not losing weight fast enough and god I just wish I could rip this fat off my body
[Rant/Rave] So tired all the time
/u/datnastaythrowaway [H 164 | CW 56kg | GW: 50kg]
Created: Tue Feb 20 10:19:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yxlz9/so_tired_all_the_time/
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I'm doing 700-800 cals most days right now.
I'm eca stacking, taking multivitamins and getting 7-8 hours of sleep most nights and getting as much protein as I can, but I am so tired all the god damn time.
It's 5pm, all I've done today is clean my flat, not even strenuously, and I am so exhausted.
Maybe it's to do with my depression, I don't know, but does anyone have any tips to help my energy levels?
[Discussion] Most accurate tdee calculator?
/u/That_1bitch
Created: Tue Feb 20 10:08:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yxirf/most_accurate_tdee_calculator/
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What tdee calculator do you guys use? I just realized i need to recalculate mine because ive lost a significant amount of weight. Thanks!!
[Rant/Rave] Addicted to laxatives?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 20 09:49:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yxcs0/addicted_to_laxatives/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone hate diet soda?
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Tue Feb 20 09:40:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yxa41/anyone_hate_diet_soda/
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I canāt really stand any type of soda just not my thing. I drink either water or Powerade zero if Iām craving sugar. Am I strange or anyone else out there not drink diet soda? Seems to be very popular on the sub lol
[Discussion] SOās reaction to weight loss
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Tue Feb 20 09:38:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yx9l6/sos_reaction_to_weight_loss/
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Just curious if anyone who has a SO has reacted to their weight loss and what they said.
I lost 30 pounds in 4 months (continuing to slowly drop) and my SO was not happy and says my curves/boobs/Butt are gone. But I want to be thinner and tinier I love the weight loss and I crave more. Does what your SO says affect your weight loss or view of yourself? I still see myself as fat in the mirror and the scale doesnāt say Iām underweight but a healthy weight so I could still lose more for sure.
[Help] Looking for caffeine-free carbonated beverage that is sweetened with either erythritol or sucralose. Any ideas?!
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Tue Feb 20 09:36:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yx8wz/looking_for_caffeinefree_carbonated_beverage_that/
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I donāt like LaCroix for my everyday drink. I really donāt like it that much at all. Haha.
Iām basically just looking for a decaf energy drink. I love my Monster/Xyience, but I think the caffeine is affecting my mood too much.
Just trying to get through some recovery anxiety. Thanks.
[Discussion] Ladies with step count goals, what is it?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118.6 ]
Created: Tue Feb 20 09:32:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yx7p1/ladies_with_step_count_goals_what_is_it/
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I try to hit about 10,000 a day but this week I'm upping to 20,000 with as high of restriction as I can stand. As motivated as I am I think I'll be able to keep it up this week, but probably not sustainable with the amount of calories I plan to have... Anyway I was more making this post to see where others with ED's fall when it comes to counting steps/ working out/ restricting.
Edit: Oops to only putting "Ladies", both sexes can reply smh
[Help] Trying not to be a bitch
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|113lb|22F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 09:27:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yx6ad/trying_not_to_be_a_bitch/
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I'm very much an introvert in most situations, but I've always been a fairly considerate, nice person. Empathy has always been my strongest quality and my mom always calls me her "sweet" daughter.
Not anymore!! I'm sure some other factors have contributed as well, but for the past few months as I've tried to lose weight again, I've just been so bitchy all the time. I constantly judge the people around me, get annoyed at strangers for talking too loud or laughing, swear at the slightest inconvenience, get mad at customer service people (I know!!!)...it's terrible. I feel like a completely different person.
What strategies have you guys used to try to stay positive and not get all cantankerous?? I could really use some help. Thanks guys.
[Rant/Rave] Horrible bloat
/u/steamedbun_27
Created: Tue Feb 20 09:27:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yx671/horrible_bloat/
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[removed]
well yesterday was .. a day š
/u/dethleib [5'3 | CW: 115 | CGW: 110 | UGW: 96 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 09:12:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yx1ye/well_yesterday_was_a_day/
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https://imgur.com/L3OusmP
[Intro] Was hoping that Iād never post here again...
/u/peanutbutteredbanana
Created: Tue Feb 20 09:10:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yx1cv/was_hoping_that_id_never_post_here_again/
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but recovery always fails me lol. no matter how happy i get with my weight or healthy eating, Iām always pulled back to disordered eating. first, i couldnāt stop binging and as soon as i got that under control, i cant eat anymore . goodbye healthy eating habits and hello to everyone here! itās good to be back, as much as it pains me to say that.
[Intro] I'm spiraling back in...
/u/Frinada [5'4 | 154 | 26.4 | 0lbs | Girl]
Created: Tue Feb 20 08:56:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ywx89/im_spiraling_back_in/
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I have have been going strong with dealing with my ED but now that my wedding is 7 months away I can't help but feel gross and disgusting. I let myself gain so much weight because I stopped counting calories and ate whatever I wanted. I'm now almost 160lbs and it keeps on going up!! I don't know what to do.
It's been slowly in the back my mind to just stop eating and now today I think I'm going to do that. I'm not sure why the number on the scale means so much to me but I'm devastated and even feel depressed. I don't like saying my weight and I hate that I'm a "thicc" girl. It sucks!!
But anyways I'm back here because I know no other way to deal.
[Help] Can't stop myself from binging when I hit 1000 cal
/u/Ifukitallthetime
Created: Tue Feb 20 08:55:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ywwwz/cant_stop_myself_from_binging_when_i_hit_1000_cal/
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[removed]
Always start binging when I reach 1000 calories
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 20 08:54:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ywwk6/always_start_binging_when_i_reach_1000_calories/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] what is life
/u/barbedwirebunny
Created: Tue Feb 20 08:47:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ywulx/what_is_life/
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I'm not sure why I'm posting here. I lurked here for a long time because reading these posts really helped scare me into recovery before I did too much permanent damage to my body but I feel like I'm falling back into old habits. Nothing is happening in my life to make me feel this way, but I feel like I have no control, and I feel like I'm pushing myself into obsessively cleaning or restricting just to prove to myself that I have life under control. It scares me to know that the things I do actually make an impact on my life and the world because I'm disassociating so much. When I move or touch things, sometimes I don't even really believe it's happening because I feel so out of it. I don't know what's going on with my life, but I'm sure a lot of you guys can relate to some of this. It sucks right now.
[Help] gym routine
/u/commtra [5'7 | BMI: 20 | GW:100 | -44 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 08:08:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ywjg4/gym_routine/
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What do you guys do at the gym? Iām running out of ideas.
My usual routine is speedwalk ~30min, two sets of planks and rowing. I used to lift but then I found out I bulk up very easily so Iām trying to avoid doing just that.
[Rant/Rave] So frustrated!!!
/u/Newbeginningtake2 [5'2" | 81 | 15.35 | 54lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Feb 20 07:29:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yw9g1/so_frustrated/
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Weight last week was averaging 80-81 and this week I am up to 85...this morning. I saw 85 on my scale. Now I want to fucking die. Too much binging and purging I think. I don't know. I weigh every day. The problem with that is I work overnights part time so I weigh when I get up...three days a week that's around 8:15pm the other days it's around 6am. I barely ate over 500 calories yesterday and I work out for almost 2 hours about 4 days a week. Maybe I had too much sodium, maybe it's that I only get around 4-5 hours of sleep on the weekends I don't fucking know, I'm just pissed. I'm getting fat. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
[Help] My mum knows Iāve relapsed
/u/ImNotaTreeImaShrub [5'5" CW:181lbs (-14lbs) | GW 130 lbs | LW/UGW 115lbs | 32F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 07:24:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yw855/my_mum_knows_ive_relapsed/
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So yesterday my mum was helping me fill out these forms so I can claim benefits as Iām currently out of work due to my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and horrendous mental health, and when I got to the section in the āHow my disability affects meā booklet on food she was saying I should write down about my ED. I said that I didnāt need to as Iām fine and (as far as she knows) have been fine for about 9 years. I always thought I hid my previous relapses well as we havenāt lived together since I was 24. But she started saying that she knows I still struggle with binging (I was BED for a few months until I went back to restricting) and she worries about me starving myself. She kept making comments that she knows I lie about my food intake and hinting about me starving myself and how she worries. She keeps asking me recently what Iām having for dinner and I then have to lie.
I feel so shitty. I canāt eat more than 800 cals a day as I just freak out and binge and purge. I canāt eat food I havenāt prepared or that is prepackaged in individual portions with the calories clearly labelled or I freak out and b/p. But Iām 32. Shes 65. I should be looking after her. She has many health problems and Iām such a let down.
Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to lessen this awful guilt? To be a better daughter so she doesnāt have to constantly worry about me.
[Goal] New day, new week, new month. Sending you all positive vibes š¦ and a big thank you!
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Feb 20 06:50:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yw01q/new_day_new_week_new_month_sending_you_all/
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Today is a new day.
This is a new week.
You are all beautiful š
I think like many of you my weekend was horrible binge wise ( based on posts) . I was up all night with lax š. This has to change.
Iām starting healthy restriction today 1000-1200 and will NOT break this until April 1st! I need this rule for my sanity. 1200 is good and manageable and I hope to not binge. I need stability, I canāt get by without it. The weekends need routine and Iām going to plan them strictly.
I want to thank this sub so much for getting me through the toughest times! Iām sure there will be more š
Take today to set positive goals, be kind to yourself,
F whatever happened this weekend or this month!
Today is about you! Erase the past! Sending good vibes and lots of digital hugs š to all!
[Other] Fruit salad that I hope to make last a week! ~150 kcal per serving.
/u/zone66 [5'2 | CW: -_- | GW 100 | -26.5 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 06:03:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yvpqp/fruit_salad_that_i_hope_to_make_last_a_week_150/
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https://i.redd.it/7qquu05a9dh01.jpg
[Help] I could really benefit with some counselling to help with secret bulimia, but I'm scared it's going to negatively impact my chances of becoming a teacher- thoughts?
/u/chrmonop
Created: Tue Feb 20 05:56:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yvoba/i_could_really_benefit_with_some_counselling_to/
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I've been bulimic for about 6 years, I'm 23 now. It's everyday, but those around me have no idea that I still have the illness as I temporarily got better for a few months, but quickly returned. I have dropped a lot of weight again, I'm feeling more anxious, depleted of energy, hair and skin is dry.
I would really like to get some help, but the problem is I don't want it to be on my health record that I have a psychological problem as I fear it could close doors for me professionally. Is there any advice you could give me on how to handle this?
I have considered telling my family, but I'm embarrassed because I'm grown now, I feel ashamed I still have this illness which largely, makes me just feel selfish, greedy and deceptive. I do want to get better, but I worry if I tell my family and fail to get better which isn't going to happen right away, they'll be watching extra carefully and it'll just be shameful. le sigh. Any ideas?
I'm starting to slip, i feel like I'm constantly over-thinking. I don't use the bathroom anymore because I'm afraid of blocking the drains and being found out, so i've been purging into containers and disposing of them in a public bin. It's just an exhausting ridiculous way to live, and I'm so done with it. I think I need to have a chat with someone, but like i said, i'm worried about ruining my chances of working with children or whatever else i might choose to do in the future, if my health record shows i've had a recent psychological illness. Thoughts?
[Discussion] My awesome as f*ck, back on track grocery haul!!
/u/motivatedcactus [5'3" | CW 114.5 | BMI 20.84 | UGW skinny | 18F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 05:22:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yvhdu/my_awesome_as_fck_back_on_track_grocery_haul/
---
[last night I had a bomb](https://imgur.com/a/3kh7V) at the food store!! My parents recently started requesting I food shop for them, hell yes. Itāll be so much easier with actual safe foods around
**Cold foods:**
* Spicy V8
* Giant Kombucha
* Shirataki
* Veggie burger
* Chicken broth
* Salad kit w/ chicken
Ive never had spicy v8 before so Iām excited to try that and the same with shirataki which I tried last night and loved! The veggie burger is for me trying to be more vegetarian even though the salad kit has chicken lol. Iām trying. Does chicken broth count as non vegetarian in your guys opinions?
**Pantry foods:**
* Rice cakes
* Ensure light
* Starfruit
* Hot and spicy clear noodle
* Teriyaki Asian noodle
* 1 lemon delight quest bar (as a treat if Iām good)
* Seaweed thins - almond sesame
* Meatless smart jerky
* Glucose tablets
* Stevia
* Ginger candies
* SƤpp birch water
* Not pictured is a 2l diet Dr Pepper and box of Diet Coke (twisted mango my fav!)
So Iāve never had the seaweed thins, jerky, ginger candies, or birch water. The ginger candy I had last night was really bad, just because the ginger taste was insanely strong, but I ate it for my stomach ache. The sapp water actually tastes kind of like cum so idk not recommended LMAO.
The ensure is a new thing too Iām going to try as meal replacement since usually just eating food can trigger a binge. I also got the glucose tablets because I heard low blood sugar can cause hunger/binge. The stevia is to try making a new thing I heard about on here where you mix stevia and lemon juice.
**ANYWAY!** Sorry this was so long. Iāve been in a couple day long binge and after food shopping yesterday Iām finally back on track. I was back up a couple pounds and feeling awful. I feel so positive and happy now and I feel like I can do anything!!
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday February 20, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Feb 20 05:10:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yvf52/thinspo_tuesday_february_20_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 20, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Feb 20 05:10:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yvf46/daily_food_diary_february_20_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 20, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] This sub sent me down memory lane
/u/MarginalGale [5ā8 | CW 122 |BMI 19|]
Created: Tue Feb 20 05:00:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yvd2y/this_sub_sent_me_down_memory_lane/
---
Wow itās been a while. Looking through these posts felt like I was thumbing through an old year book of my life. To sum it up:
5ā8| CW 122| LW 90| HW 150
- Diagnosed Ana in 2004 (holy shit Iām old) and ārecoveryā basically involvedā outpatient therapy before college...where alcohol/partying replaced calorie countsā then grad school & work, where alcohol eventually brought me to my knees faster and harder than my ED ever did. So now sober & actually in recovery for that
- I remember there being debate if you can ever be cured of your ED. I havenāt been Ana for years. But the minute Iām >135 lbs Iām a āfitness/Health nutā. One of my ex bfs once commented he was impressed at my ability to lose weight so quick when I set my mind to getting āin shapeā š if he only knew. So anyway I guess thatās what normal looks like in ED recovery (if you can call it that)
- š at the ā12 types of EDā cartoon because I really did become the stereotype
- Before reddit there was ProAna livejournal and xanga. Weight loss challenges weād have, posting thinspo and support for each other... I actually wonder whatever happened to those girls/guys?
That being said, lāll tell you what I donāt miss: Being cold AF. All. The. Time. Seriously I wonder how often people thought I was trying to hide my weight loss under multiple layers when in fact I was just fucking freezing. AmIright?
[Rant/Rave] Scared
/u/wild-ocean
Created: Tue Feb 20 04:39:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yv9ap/scared/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE notice more Saliva is produced when you're thinking about food if you're extremely hungry?
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Tue Feb 20 04:01:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yv2qw/dae_notice_more_saliva_is_produced_when_youre/
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Basically, the title. I know it's gross but I can't help wondering. Is it just me? Anyone?
[Other] when u look up too many things about food / measurement conversions. thanks facebook
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 01:58:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yuim7/when_u_look_up_too_many_things_about_food/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/XYThw
[Help] Another annoying heart rate question
/u/sninas24
Created: Tue Feb 20 00:32:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yu5io/another_annoying_heart_rate_question/
---
Hi everyone,
I've never posted before, but I have found this community incredibly helpful throughout my ED. I have been "recovering" since May and even went to an IOP program during my winter break. I am now studying abroad, and I have definitely been slipping back into restriction. I've noticed that I have felt pretty shitty (weak, fluctuations in heart rate, faint, etc. you know the drill), and I had a friend check my heart rate for me. It was 48 beats per minute after drinking coffee. Before I left, my doctors were concerned about my low heart rate (lowest that I know of was 43) and low blood pressure, but I was able to get it back up to 56 by eating more and not running. I also haven't run since August due to the ED and lovely side effect of osteoporosis :( so the low heart rate is not likely due to high levels of activity. They seemed pretty comfortable with 56 beats per minute, but they said they would like it to be a little bit higher. I was just wondering if I should be concerned I guess? I haven't felt right, but I don't know if I'm just freaking myself out now and there's no one else I can talk to about it :( I don't want to freak out my friends and family back home and I'm not comfortable enough to talk to friends here. I don't even know what I should do if it is a problem because eating disorders are less prevalent in South Africa, and I'm in the middle of a program. Anyways sorry for the word vomit, I'm just feeling very anxious and would love some advice from people who understand <3
[Other] habit tracker app
/u/itsafood
Created: Tue Feb 20 00:21:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yu3s9/habit_tracker_app/
---
Just putting this out for anyone wanting to track behavior and view trends: Daylio on Android. It's a diary app with 3 parts to each entry: mood, activities, and note. You can customize the moods and activities, including icons. I got rid of the defaults and added stuff like bloated/fasting for mood, and caffeine/gluten/weigh-in for activities. Not sure if there's a character limit to the note section.
It does some basic stats and counts the number of times you logged an activity, so it could be used to track binge/fast days. It also has an option where you pick a mood and it'll show you the associated activities. (Hoping I can pin down a food intolerance with this.)
This is basically an unpaid ad, but I'm really happy with it so far and thought it might be useful to some of you. I'd love suggestions for other apps as well.
[Rant/Rave] 2 hours until pizza
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Tue Feb 20 00:11:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yu254/2_hours_until_pizza/
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[removed]
[Help] I need some encouragement tonight
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 113.2 | 21.45 | -7 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 23:46:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ytxs9/i_need_some_encouragement_tonight/
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I've been restricting and fasting every day and doing strength training and doing cardio for 3 hours a week, and I'm just so scared that I'm doing it wrong-- that it's too much restricting or not enough exercise or not enough restricting... I had a stomach pooch even at my lowest weight and my mother was kind enough to point this out to me last week. It's just that when I was a hundred and two pounds, it was "slightly smaller".
I'm so scared it's not going to work and all my efforts will be for nothing. I'm scared I will always have a body fat percentage of 32.5, even at my ugw.
If you can say it without lying to me, please tell me I'm going to make it. I want to believe I'm suffering like this for a reason.
[Help] I somehow gained weight when restricting?!
/u/MellowKittyCat [170|CW:š³|GW:45|BMI:17|Atypical Ana]
Created: Mon Feb 19 23:30:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ytuyk/i_somehow_gained_weight_when_restricting/
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[removed]
[Discussion] does anyone here have adhd/anxiety?
/u/mental-chillness [5'6 19F | 123.4lbs | gw 120lbs]
Created: Mon Feb 19 23:01:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ytpfi/does_anyone_here_have_adhdanxiety/
---
I have this theory that having them both is what created/fuels my obsession with food and eating and weight. when things get bad my mind runs like itās trying to win gold at the olympics and every other thought i have is about how i look. anyone else have similar experiences + more insight?
[Discussion] Heart pangs??
/u/revolutionaryred
Created: Mon Feb 19 22:47:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ytmvz/heart_pangs/
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Hey, so I have heart pangs/palpitations almost daily for short bursts and was wondering if there are any supplements or strategies to deal with them without commitment to recovery and stopping my weight loss??
[Rant/Rave] I binged but then stopped and then I learned.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Feb 19 22:44:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ytm7f/i_binged_but_then_stopped_and_then_i_learned/
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On mobile flair as rant or rave
I had fasted most of today and did a bit of walking. I had to show a coworker how to make a certain dish, grilled cheese (don't ask me how someone doesn't know how to do this it's simple even for our kind of fancy cafe) I told him I would eat it to make sure it tasted good. Once it was made he was watching me. I kept telling him I would eat it when it cools down.
One hour later he starts getting worried so I take a bite. "It tastes fine babe good job." Then another bite. Before I knew it I had eaten most of it which made him happy. I then decides to indulge in some other things I was craving cause I was restricting so much and missing a lot of things, so I had some fries then a coworker bought me a light frappe from Starbucks that I drank. Then I stopped when I gathered myself.
I gathered myself and went to the bathroom and though I would purge. I sat in a stall for about 5 min. I thought then I logged everything.
2250 calories. Fuck. I won't gain a pound. I looked at my apps on my phone. 3200 calories burned.
So I guess my binge still has me as a deficit for the day. I still have some work to do and it's only 9:40 so I can walk a little after work and maybe up my calories burned.
This may be what convinces me to raise my restriction bar to 500 to 700. The grill. Cheese was about 400 so I could have eaten half of it and just had smaller portions of everything and not been deprived.
So I am surprisingly ok and unscathed after my binge I guess. It would have been a bit above maintainence if I didn't walk a lot before work and work wasn't so intense today.
I just need to tell myself not to worry about the food weight i may have for a few days. According to thermodynamics and even if my app over estimated a lot i should my gain so I feel ok. I satisfied some cravings and I feel like I learned more about my triggers for binges and what I need and want to not binge.
I am ok.
W.
How screwed am I right now?
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | (treatment rip) | GW 95lbs]
Created: Mon Feb 19 22:34:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ytkew/how_screwed_am_i_right_now/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I can feel my fingers bloat up after a binge
/u/cashmeremoose
Created: Mon Feb 19 21:27:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yt6tt/i_can_feel_my_fingers_bloat_up_after_a_binge/
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[removed]
[Tip] PSA for Canadians | Bulk Barn Fangirling
/u/antelsa [5'11" | F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 21:21:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yt5pu/psa_for_canadians_bulk_barn_fangirling/
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Y'all. Maybe I'm behind and everyone else already knew, but Bulk Barn is one of the best businesses I've ever frequented. The store has a huuuge variety of products, all stored in clear bins, and you can buy as much or as little of each product as you'd like. Everything has the nutrition facts per 100 grams listed, and there are a bunch of scales in the store.
Need 1 teaspoon of cornstarch? Bulk barn's your store.
Need to buy 30 grams of Baker's chocolate or 3 tablespoons of almond butter so you don't pig out later? Bulk barn's your store.
Need some "smooth move tea", psyllium husk, weird vitamins, or sugarfree candies? Bulk barn's your store.
Need an exotic grain like black rice, amaranth, or teff flour? Bulk barn's your store.
Getting bored of gummy bears and want to try a more exotic product like gummy alligators? Bulk barn's your store.
I can't stop fangirling about this place. They also have mac and cheese powder, teas, a million kinds of chocolate, candy, sweets, sprinkles, cough drops, spices, grains, snack mixes, nuts, frostings, sprinkles, dried fruits, and even pet food. I don't think I've ever seen a store that fulfils my ED, my love of cooking, and my frugality so well. ( I promise I don't work for them. )
In other news, I hope you all have a great day today <3 I am feeling really happy, it was my boyfriend's birthday last weekend and we visited his mom to celebrate. When we first met a while ago, I was afraid she wouldn't like me because I'm not the same ethnicity/culture as him, and, well, everyone knows the cultural trope of mothers who never think their son's girlfriends are good enough for them. But she has been very kind and made it clear that she likes me and that I am always welcome. After my boyfriend told her about my ED, she has been very accommodating and never comments on my weird habits. When we cut the cake for his birthday, she cut me a very small slice (which was mostly eaten by my lovely and considerate bf). The weather was unseasonably warm, too, and I'm in a good mood. I don't think anyone else would really understand, so I'm posting here. Happy Monday!
[Rant/Rave] TMI WARNING
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 21:13:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yt3x1/tmi_warning/
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So, I'm 118 hours into a fast, no food at all, and I'm walking around the grocery store, looking for food to eat when I eventually break the fast.
As im walkingbthrough the isles, suddenly my guts start rumbling and I think I need to fart. WRONG
SOMEHOW THERE WAS STILL STUFF IN MY GUTS AND IT WAS A SHART
I'm sorry this is gross
Has this ever happened to any of You? I'm dumbfounded by what just happened š
[Goal] Iām starting the abc diet today
/u/lemonade-heart
Created: Mon Feb 19 20:20:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yssd3/im_starting_the_abc_diet_today/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] so sad tonight & for so stupid a reason
/u/blackcoffeegreentea [5'9" | 151 | 22.3 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 20:15:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ysr9w/so_sad_tonight_for_so_stupid_a_reason/
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i mentioned recently that i got dumped a few weeks ago rather unceremoniously (the guy turned out to be sort of an asshole, so good riddance i guess).
long before him (10 years ago), there was a boyfriend i was with for 5 years, one of my best friends growing up, a pretty serious relationship, and the only person iāve ever truly been in love with. we split almost 10 years ago, as amicably as these things can happen (primarily because of distance, plus he panicked a little about having never spent time āplaying the fieldā- we were both in our early 20s & he didnāt want to settle down). anyway we kept in touch as friends, and still see each other a few times each year because our parents live near each other. i guess thereās still a tiny part of me that has always carried a torch for him... heās the only person i have ever dated where i felt like i was truly loved for myself & didnāt have to hide my flaws. he was also my first ārealā boyfriend after iād been in a terribly abusive (and illegal) relationship with my high school teacher, and he was amazing & patient & awesome at helping my fucked-up self recover from that.
this morning he sent me a short email saying how excited he wasā over the weekend he had proposed to his girlfriend (who iāve met a few times) and she said yes!
i sent a congratulatory response & for about an hour i had myself convinced that i was really happy for him, this guy who i cared about and how great it was that he was so happy.
but his girlfriend... she is in the same career field as me, and is even my same age... but 2 inches taller and probably 50lbs lighter (sheās serious thinspo).
iām having all these awful thoughts now, that he was my chance for happiness (probably not true but it feels like it) but that i wasnāt thin enough for him (almost certainly not true, he never commented on my weight while we were together). it feels like the universe is sending me this big āfuck youā message, that i get dumped by a jerk right as the love of my life gets engaged to someone he really loves, and that i am not worthy of love, only of abuse and shitty jerks.
i want to be happy for him- shit, weāve been broken up for a decade, and heās been a good friend since we were children- it feels selfish & shitty to not be excited for him & his gal. and so stupid to make everything be somehow about me.
but ughhhhhhh why did the person he marries have to be this beautiful lithe 0% body fat goddess of a woman? and why did it have to happen right when i am getting gut-punched & left in the dirt? it just feels karmic, like this is what i deserve, for being a broken, chubby, ugly nobody.
ššš
[Discussion] Does anyone else
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Mon Feb 19 20:14:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ysr1t/does_anyone_else/
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Find people who call themselves small or tiny incredibly annoying?
Like Iām 5ā1 and 106 (lol am I doing it rn) so itās not like Iām bitter or anything but I would just never refer to myself like that?? It feels super weird to me and I instantly judge anyone who does it. Even if they really are small.
Ok maybe I am bitter bc I donāt consider myself to be small?? Is this an ed thing? Can anyone relate?
[Intro] my story, i guess.
/u/nextlvlrattata [5'11 | CW dont have a scale| GW 123 | UGW 115]
Created: Mon Feb 19 19:55:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ysmr0/my_story_i_guess/
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when i was 11, my friend was talking about how he was going to "start starving himself." i was really opposed to it. i mean, all i knew about it was that you shouldn't do it. i was very uneducated about it. until eventually he started talking about all the weight he lost over the course of 2 weeks. i thought "maybe its not that bad. it'll be *so easy* to just start eating again!!" (again, uneducated). i was like fine, i'll do it. he even taught me how to purge. he sent me thinspo and would encourage me constantly. even "tiPs On HoW to eD". i yo-yoed a fuckload until a year or so ago. i never thought about food the same way. i think that's it.
ps: sorry if i forgot about something. in the middle of a headache atm.
[Other] Just need to get some things out of my head
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Mon Feb 19 19:54:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ysmg3/just_need_to_get_some_things_out_of_my_head/
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I never really get responses when I make posts like this and I usually end up deleting but I just have some thoughts.
Itās super crazy to me how my mind and my disorder changes day to day. I was in super restrict mode the past couple days and determined to get to atleast my lowest weight (104- Iām 106ish right now).
I fasted for 75 hours and had no intentions of eating, then I proceeded to go out with my bf and some other people, get absolutely shit faced bc 1. I was 75 hours fasted and 2. I switched from beer to liquor due to the cals but continued to drink like it was beer. I got super fucking emotional and unloaded ALL of my emotional baggage onto this new friend of mine and cried my eyes out IN THE BATHROOM AT THE BAR. also GOT CUT OFF AT THE BAR. oh and gave in and ate cheesy bacon fries and chicken strips (which were fuckin delicious tbh I donāt even regret it) (and I threw it all up later bc of the alcohol so that helps)
Then I went home with my bf and we got into the worst fight we have ever had, pretty much for no reason. I still have no clue what happened but it was a screaming match and we have never done that before.
And then this morning after we talked it out he told me we were going to get food and Iām like can we not and he said you havenāt eaten in four days so we are- bc of course I told him that stupidly when I was drunk. Thatās the only positive here, he doesnāt know how to help but he tries and usually wonāt bring it up but I think he could tell itās gotten worse lately bc he asked me if I rescheduled my appt with a nutritionist that I bailed on and I told him I was going to make a counseling appt and he gently made me set a deadline to do those things by, and even offered to go to them with me.
Then we went and got pizza and it was delicious and now Iām like ok I can eat like a regular person for a couple days and then go back to my usual 72 hour fast fri-sun and continue to maintain my 106 like I have been for the past month.
*again idk my point of all of this, just wanted to get it out*
Oh!! And I have a hair appt to get my weave washed and tightened tomorrow morning after three weeks and Iām suuuuper excited
[Other] water is...everything?
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 19:09:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yscc5/water_iseverything/
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https://i.redd.it/uj5japmi0ah01.png
[Help] Can I post my groceries or do I have to wait until next Sunday?
/u/motivatedcactus [5'3" | CW 114.5 | BMI 20.84 | UGW skinny | 18F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 19:08:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ysc24/can_i_post_my_groceries_or_do_i_have_to_wait/
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[Other] Actual photo of my goal self holding up my hopes and dreams.
/u/Wisdomtoothinquiry
Created: Mon Feb 19 18:02:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yrwlj/actual_photo_of_my_goal_self_holding_up_my_hopes/
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https://imgur.com/6BhE54E
[Goal] Actual photo of my goal self holding up my hopes and dreams.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 19 17:59:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yrvqr/actual_photo_of_my_goal_self_holding_up_my_hopes/
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https://imgur.com/1NtYWhY
[Rant/Rave] Really struggling today
/u/roithamerschen [5'7 | 130.8 | 20.8 | GW: 110 | 21F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 17:48:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yrt22/really_struggling_today/
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Tomorrow is my birthday and I just want to crawl up in a corner and cry myself to sleep.
Iām feeling super inadequate about my school work, job prospects, everything. I think one of my friends is baking me a cake for tomorrow. Iām not upset about the food as much as the prospect of needing to seem upbeat and happy about my bday when I feel like a trash heap. I barely have friends anyway and I havenāt spoken to anyone outside of coworkers today so maybe everyone will just forget about me and I can feel happy isolating myself š The only good thing is I feel so shitty my appetite is basically gone, so today might be a successful fast for me.
Wish I had at least my weight to be happy about, but Iām only just getting back to losing weight after over 2 months of just ngaf and eating trash constantly. I know partly this shit mood is a result of me taking too much adderall a few days ago but idk, Iāve been depressed for years now and the prospect of ever being āstableā seems like a pipe dream.
[Rant/Rave] Halo Top Ice Cream
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 19 17:23:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yrmto/halo_top_ice_cream/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yrmto/halo_top_ice_cream/
[Rant/Rave] Brain over Binge podcast
/u/toselx [165cm | CW 62 | GW 52 | 21F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 16:47:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yrdnv/brain_over_binge_podcast/
---
https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/brain-over-binge-podcast/id1184957849?mt=2
Idk if you guys have listened to this podcast, but it has really helped me with binging lately and I wanted to share it with you guys. Iāve been binge eating almost every day since I ārecoveredā from orthorexia cos a doctor basically threatened to diagnose me with anorexia if I didnāt gain weight, even though losing weight wasnāt my primary goal. (I donāt think orthorexia was really known back then). After that my mind did a complete 180 and I just started binging on anything cos I just thought fuck it Iāve got to gain weight I might as well eat whatever the fuck I want. That was 5 years ago and although Iām at a normal weight now I still binge eat and restrict because Iām still not at my ideal weight. But seriously this podcast is so great and itās made me really want to stop binging and allow myself to eat normally and stop restricting since thatās what usually triggers my binges.
Anyway soz for the lil story Iāve actually never had the courage to share what Iāve been through to anyone and have never received any actual help or therapy so it goes to show how amazing this sub is ā¤ļø I hope this podcast can help some of you like it is helping me :)
[Rant/Rave] Possible ED comment from grocery bagger!
/u/hollowedheart_ [5'7" | CW 126 | GW 125 | UGW 120 |]
Created: Mon Feb 19 16:22:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yr7cf/possible_ed_comment_from_grocery_bagger/
---
So my mom and I were buying food at the market and while we were putting our food to be scanned and bagged the bagger said "shirataki noodles and arctic zero- I know exactly what type of person you are haha" in a very smiley and funny tone. He then said how much you need to rinse them- which I agreed because they do stink. He wasn't trying to be mean but I was a little shocked! I actually am not sure what he meant by it. Anorexic? ED? I don't know. Any insight?! Haha help!
[Goal] Yall i did it
/u/kiwiismytruelove
Created: Mon Feb 19 15:50:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yqyuv/yall_i_did_it/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] What apps do you guys use to edit your photos?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 15:14:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yqp89/what_apps_do_you_guys_use_to_edit_your_photos/
---
Iām curious because I feel like nobody is better at editing photos than people with EDs.
[Discussion] Anyone else really uncomfortable eating in restaurants?
/u/MellowKittyCat [170|CW:š³|GW:45|BMI:17|Atypical Ana]
Created: Mon Feb 19 14:54:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yqjlb/anyone_else_really_uncomfortable_eating_in/
---
Like hereās what I dislike about them:
ā¢ Hard to find out calories
ā¢ May not have any foods you eat
ā¢ May trigger a binge
ā¢ Uncontrollable portion size
ā¢ Stranger watching you eat (I always think that they are thinking āOmg she really doesnāt need anymore food)
ā¢Talking and eating at the same time is weird
ā¢People forcibly give me their food to try
ā¢My parents (or someone who youāre with) has to watch you eat (āshouldnāt you eat some more?!ā)
Anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] Came home from a night out to find a bag of muffins and a helpful note. My mom is the best sometimes.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" |cw maintaining| 26F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 13:58:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yq39t/came_home_from_a_night_out_to_find_a_bag_of/
---
https://i.redd.it/0u112ps3h8h01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] HOW DID IT GET SO HIGH??? š«š«š«
/u/thejailers [5'6 | CW: 136 | 22 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 13:55:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yq2d1/how_did_it_get_so_high/
---
https://i.redd.it/mb4m5hjlg8h01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Need to vent
/u/iwillrunmylife
Created: Mon Feb 19 13:50:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yq0q4/need_to_vent/
---
I hate how I do so well until I donāt.
I hate how today I had an old-school, textbook, eat everything even the things I donāt want binge. I hate how I woke up to a low weight and had to ruin it. I hate how I weighed myself at all. I hate that I care.
I hate that I spend more brain space obsessing over food and working out than I do work or school or family or friends or life.
I hate that this is how I cope. I hate that I gained weight, and hate how much it affects me. I hate how I picture my ex seeing me and thinking Iām disgusting every time I purge. I hate that I still picture him at all.
I hate my clothes, and how I canāt wear whatever I want anymore. I hate how a normal BMI feels like a death sentence.
I hate how in my head I feel today. I hate that I take pills to feel like myself, like a doctor can prescribe normalcy. And I hate how I have to get up and work and go to class when I all want to do is sit in therapy all damn day with people who get it until finally, *finally*, I feel better. I want to move away and not pack my eating disorder with me. I want to fall in love again and not feel like heās the only source of my happiness.
I want to see myself the way I did when I was a child. Hell, maybe I want to be a child again myself.
I hate that my chest is burning and my mouth tastes like bile and that tomorrow I will wake up with a puffy face and insane anxiety over breakfast.
I hate bulimia. I fucking hate it.
[Help] how do people stay motivated to restrict?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 19 13:47:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ypzxo/how_do_people_stay_motivated_to_restrict/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Is your ED interfering with school?
/u/cashmeremoose
Created: Mon Feb 19 13:27:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yptxc/is_your_ed_interfering_with_school/
---
for me, when i high restrict or fast, my productivity increases dramatically. when i binge i just want to curl into a ball and netflix and skip school.
[Discussion] Please help me find an old post on this sub!
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 157 | 26.4 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Mon Feb 19 13:11:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ypp5k/please_help_me_find_an_old_post_on_this_sub/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I ate a handful of gummi bears and didn't log it!
/u/Just-That-Other-Guy [5'11" | CW: 146 lbs | BMI: 20.4 | SW: 230 lbs | -84 lbs]
Created: Mon Feb 19 12:55:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ypk0t/i_ate_a_handful_of_gummi_bears_and_didnt_log_it/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU MISLEADING PACKAGING
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword
Created: Mon Feb 19 12:44:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ypglp/seriously_fuck_you_misleading_packaging/
---
I literally canāt. I want to cry. All this time I thought I was eating a 79kcal snack. It fucking says **79 CALORIES** in giant letters on the packet.
But whatās this? I put it into MFP AND ITS FUCKING 79KCAL FOR FUCKING ONE OF THE 2 LITTLE TINY ASS FLAVORLESS BARS. I WAS EATING THAT SHIT CUZ IT WAS LOW CAL NOT BECAUSE IT TASTED GOOD- BECAUSE IT FUCKING DOESNāT. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I WASTED 156 CALORIES AND NOW I ATE OVER 1200.
fuck you misleading packaging. Fuck me for being greedy and hungry and weak-willed. Fuck my brain for wanting to cry over 80 extra calories. Fuck everything. Iāll never be skinny.
also while Iām ranting: fuck you brownies and cookies. You are the bane of my existence and I wish my mouth hated you as much as my brain does šššš
[Discussion] DAE avoid watching certain TV shows because they used to watch them while they binged?
/u/losemore [5ā9.5 | oink | 22F | UGW 100lbs]
Created: Mon Feb 19 12:14:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yp6wq/dae_avoid_watching_certain_tv_shows_because_they/
---
One of my favourite pastimes used to be to order in a load of takeout and watch a couple of easy watching TV shows while I binged on the food. Iām binge free for around 2 months now which is great, but Iām so scared to watch those shows in case it triggers a binge :( anyone like this?
[Discussion] I think I might be addicted to coffee as a diuretic.
/u/mylittlebony_ [5'3"| 110 | 19.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 12:14:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yp6vb/i_think_i_might_be_addicted_to_coffee_as_a/
---
So hopefully this isnāt TMI, but I think Iām addicted to the way black coffee, you know, cleans you out. I drink about 4-5 cups a day and am always a shaky mess who feels like shit but I canāt stop. I drink it after every meal because I hate the thought of food sitting in my stomach, even though the calories have already been absorbed. Iāve thought about trying laxatives but I am too scared Iāll become addicted to them to actually try.
I just feel so weird and messed up for this. DAE do the same thing?
[Discussion] Anyone else ask to be called āFatā or āEat lessā?
/u/MyBunnyisMean
Created: Mon Feb 19 12:10:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yp5r6/anyone_else_ask_to_be_called_fat_or_eat_less/
---
I notice sometimes when Iām struggling to lose more weight and I need to lower my calorie intake, I ask my SO to say things to help. The things I want to hear are pretty degrading in a way. They include things like āEat lessā, āYouād look better skinnierā, āYouāre fatā, āPigā, āCowā, etc. I fee like complete shit afterwards though and I ask myself why do I even put myself in this situation but I canāt stop. It helps even though it hurts. Does anyone else do this? Does it really help you?.
[Help] Cigarettes make me sick
/u/Elizawitch [5'3" | Female | CW: 100lbs | GW: 90lbs | UGW: 85lbs]
Created: Mon Feb 19 11:56:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yp1re/cigarettes_make_me_sick/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] MFP Users: Do you sometimes get "you are not eating enough" messages randomly?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 19 11:39:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yowq5/mfp_users_do_you_sometimes_get_you_are_not_eating/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Overheard the McDonalds staff criticizing my "big" order.
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Mon Feb 19 11:20:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yor0e/overheard_the_mcdonalds_staff_criticizing_my_big/
---
I usually prefer the drive-thru since, well, you know, I have an ED and am self conscious about these things. However, my mom insisted on going inside and sitting down. I knew I was gonna binge before we even went into the actual McDonalds. I was already in pre-binge mode where I accepted it was coming and knew I'd purge. I decided to just go ahead and get the new grand mac meal (go big or go home) and my mom got a quarter pounder.
So I head over and get my soda from the soda fountain machine and come back to the counter to wait and see the all female staff laughing saying they couldn't fit the burger in the box and how "it's so much food," and is, "so big." It looked like they were whispering and looking at me (I am overweight) and then when the lady handed me the tray I felt like she was smirking so I immediately asked her for a bag so I could make it to go.
I just stuffed my food in the bag and didn't eat at the table with my mom since I felt like I had been judged. Maybe I'm just self-conscious but why can't people just do their job and not comment on other peoples' food? You have no idea what people are going through and how your comments can affect people. It's like how my sister says she gets annoyed with her mother in law commenting that she isn't eating enough at family gatherings. People should just not comment on what you may or may not be eating. Sorry just needed to vent.
[Rant/Rave] Carbonated water!
/u/ShoopDaWhoopBurrito [4'11'' F | SW: 180 | CW: 115 | GW: 95]
Created: Mon Feb 19 11:10:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yoo0m/carbonated_water/
---
This is going to sound totally dumb but I just discovered the benefits of carbonated water! It makes me so bloated and my stomach so full I canāt eat anything; this week Iāve eaten under 500 calories everyday! (A win for me since I struggle with restricting)
I donāt have a big sweet tooth, so I never feel like drinking pop but carbonated water with artificial fruit flavour is totally my thing.
[Help] Tell Me About Your Miso Soup Please?
/u/scrawny-cat [5' 6"|CW 120.6lb|BMI 19.54|GW 112lb|F32]
Created: Mon Feb 19 10:53:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yoizi/tell_me_about_your_miso_soup_please/
---
I ordered [the Itsu under 300 calorie recipe book](https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1845338944) a few weeks ago and I'm getting impatient for it to arrive. Tomorrow is my fortnightly food shopping day, I hoped to be shopping for ingredients by then.
Googling Itsu things lead me to thinking about Miso soup, which I have never tried. I see a lot of people here eat it. Can you tell me about yours?
What brand do you use? How to do you prepare it, is it paste and water?
I also remember this [programme](http://www.channel4.com/programmes/food-unwrapped/on-demand/61830-021) I think it was, saying positive things about it and weight loss. [Yes, another one I watched from my shameful channel 4 food programme habit]. So another reason to be intrigued.
[Tip] Post purge hack
/u/iwillrunmylife
Created: Mon Feb 19 10:18:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yo8qg/post_purge_hack/
---
Iāve been doing well have lots of streaks of no b/p but just broke a 5 day one binging half a bag of mini reeseās (fuck my pms, sprayed hair spray on the other half of the bag before I could really do insane damage) and in my post-purge care, discovered a good tip.
If youāre like me, aka a sick bitch, you purge fully, decide you need to replace nutrients, eat something healthy, then eat something not healthy... and end up binging again. Rinse and repeat.
Well today, I downed 2 vitamin water zeroās and have no desire to binge again!
For some reason lots of water didnāt prevent a binge but did prevent a second one. Iām replacing electrolytes + vitamins without the calories of a binge.
Time to nap and hopefully wake up and move on. Just thought I would share!
Tl;dr : down vitamin water zero like your life depends on it after a b/p to prevent even more b/p.
[Rant/Rave] Doctors Visit Ruined My Week
/u/breadstickpolice
Created: Mon Feb 19 10:18:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yo8jo/doctors_visit_ruined_my_week/
---
So I had to go in to get tested for a UTI, and OF COURSE they weigh you because thatās what they always do at the doctors, and I kept trying to tell myself that I wouldnāt get upset or be triggered, but when I stepped on the scale I was TEN POUNDS heavier than the last time iād weighed myself and I almost died. Feel like never eating again. Probably just have a diet coke today.
[Discussion] So that one IG account is gone...
/u/elttil_snatas [5'3" | CW 185lbs | Obese Whale | -10lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 09:23:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ynsql/so_that_one_ig_account_is_gone/
---
Y'all know the one im talking about. This just makes the whole situation seem even more gross and suspicious. Does anyone know what happened?
[Rant/Rave] 3 day weekend, I can get so much done! Just kidding says my ED brain š§
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Mon Feb 19 09:14:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ynq4z/3_day_weekend_i_can_get_so_much_done_just_kidding/
---
Day 1. I will get a lot done and relax and home
Reality: lax and sleep
Day 2. I will be productive.
Reality: restricted until 7pm while running errands then bought up all the snacks and binged myself to sleep.
Day 3. Today āāClean and actually get work done.
Reality-Sooooo depressed, going to buy more lax while picking up my meds, wanting to binge, and feeling like death. I canāt even focus. Hoping I can at least do laundry.
How did I get from positive, creative and feeling pretty good on Friday to this! I hate weekends! All my goals gone and now I just feel depressed and fat. He m disgusting.
Why is this my life š how am I supposed to be?
Just wondering what this weekend could have been.
[Rant/Rave] Going on holiday this week and all I can think about is food
/u/pepperygyal [5'1 | CW:127 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 08:58:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ynlhr/going_on_holiday_this_week_and_all_i_can_think/
---
This week Iām going on holiday to a beautiful tropical island. Instead of being excited, Iām dreading it. All I can think about is all the yummy food Iām going to have to avoid and itās making me miserable. Why am I like this? Why canāt I go on vacation and actually enjoy it without wrapping my mind around thoughts of food and calories? I havenāt had a vacation in so long and I canāt even let my mind and body relax for once. I hate this.
[Rant/Rave] Job rant
/u/ka002 [6'3 | 150 | M]
Created: Mon Feb 19 08:55:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ynkph/job_rant/
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Alright so I canāt stand the job I have and not because I donāt like the people I work with or anything like that but because itās so fucking physically demanding. I work at a restaurant so Iām constantly running around and lifting heavy things and balancing plates and cups and whatever else it is. Everytime I get close to my goal weight I start to get lightheaded and weak and it feels like Iām dying and I canāt work like that. Iām just annoyed that my job is holding me back from what I want to achieve. The last time I got close to my goal weight was almost a year ago and I vividly remember sweating a ton and being nauseous the whole time I was at work, it was the worst day ever. Even worse was the fact that people assumed it was because I was hungover which just painted me out to be an irresponsible employee. Iām scared to try again and feel that way at work again and risk people thinking something other than just being sick. Idk I guess thatās all, anyone else annoyed by certain obligations that get in the way achieving your goal weight?
[Other] TIL I'm a meerkat
/u/chameleon_souls
Created: Mon Feb 19 08:52:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ynjvl/til_im_a_meerkat/
---
https://twitter.com/qikipedia/status/965435777046982656
[Help] Safest Practices for Laxatives?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 19 08:51:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ynjn9/safest_practices_for_laxatives/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] college is hard
/u/pmmeured
Created: Mon Feb 19 08:30:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yne9g/college_is_hard/
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This last week has just been rough, with a panic attack friday, being kept 3 hours later than scheduled Saturday at my job and then not being able to sleep last night. I just failed a midterm because of that and on top of that, left my wallet in my dorm so I wouldnāt buy food but I forgot my water bottle. water fast without any water ig lmao
rip me
[Help] Advice for boyfriend's emotional eating
/u/redstraws
Created: Mon Feb 19 08:19:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ynbi7/advice_for_boyfriends_emotional_eating/
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[removed]
[Other] MFP gave me a little encouragement today by letting me see my average net calories for the week :)
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 132.5 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.7 | F21]
Created: Mon Feb 19 08:11:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yn9jk/mfp_gave_me_a_little_encouragement_today_by/
---
https://i.redd.it/yxui4vt9r6h01.jpg
[Discussion] Any body else smoke cigarettes
/u/AndyxLion
Created: Mon Feb 19 08:07:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yn8i7/any_body_else_smoke_cigarettes/
---
I hate smoking but I love IT!! I would live off a apple a day a Coke Zero/Monster Zero and cigarettes. I should stop because I know itās ruining my health and the smell bleh sometimes even I canāt stand it. It does help curb my appetite a lot.
[Help] Anyone 5'5"-6" with no hips or butt??
/u/Jusaliability
Created: Mon Feb 19 08:00:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yn6uo/anyone_556_with_no_hips_or_butt/
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[removed]
[Other] weird shit my body does and sneaky water weight ( a LOT of it)
/u/emerald_green92
Created: Mon Feb 19 07:45:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yn34z/weird_shit_my_body_does_and_sneaky_water_weight_a/
---
ok so since I was a teenager my body did this weird thing when I pressed down on my leg with a finger ( especially on the left leg) a small finger tip sized hole would appear that would stay there for several seconds/minutes. I was always frustrated since I knew that was all water weight that would show up on the scale and tried everything to make it go down, but the "swelling" would always come back after a few days. Mind you, my leg does not look swollen, it's just that when I press on it there remains a hole, or when I sit on my knees there might appear a slight deformation when I stand up.
Today once again I tried to find an explanation for this and Dr Google tells me, as usual , that I have heart failure and other dramatic sounding health issues, but the paragraph that surprised me the most was this :
*"What you will not note is that you may be carrying around about 10 additional pounds of body weight. Imagine carrying a bowling ball with you where ever you go. This is about how much weight in water that can accumulate on the legs and it can be even 15 or 20 lbs total."*
I am totally shook by this, and wonder if it doesn't matter how much weight I lose, I will always have to carry around those stupid water pounds? I also scared by the effects this might have on my health, but since every heart check up I had came back completely normal, and I am a young, healthy, active person, I can't take what the internet doctors say seriously... still, 15-20 pounds tho?
Vegan Recipes?
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 07:21:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ymy5g/vegan_recipes/
---
What are everyoneās favorite low cal vegan recipes? Besides salads lol
Iām eating vegan next month kinda to see if I can kinda to see if I lose weight easier.
[Discussion] Sports in EDs
/u/flowerxng [5'5.5''| cw: 102 | i just wanted to be happy]
Created: Mon Feb 19 06:52:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ymrj1/sports_in_eds/
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Is anyone else an athlete or used to be an athlete in the past? How has it affected your ED?
For me, I'm a swimmer and used to be a gymnast. Just being over half naked made it really easy to compare myself to other skinnier girls. Also, I could have a low net calorie count for the day while still looking like I ate. I lost a ton of weight by eating 1000 calories per day but with intense swimming for 2 hours as well.
[Help] Lowest calorie item on this menu? Help
/u/fivethreeoneten
Created: Mon Feb 19 06:23:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ymm4h/lowest_calorie_item_on_this_menu_help/
---
Throwaway account for this forum, but longtime lurker.
I have to go to this restaurant for a business obligation and was wondering what you all think the lowest calorie item is to order and nibble on? I donāt usually eat Indian food at all so trying to do the least damage possible. Thanks for your help!
Dinner menu - link below!
[Tabla Menu ](http://tablaatlanta.com/menu)
[Goal] Reason not to eat number 109377754: Orthodontic Retainers
/u/MsFaceless [5'8" | CW 127 | BMI 20 | GW 100 | 28F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 06:06:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yminl/reason_not_to_eat_number_109377754_orthodontic/
---
I've been wearing braces for 4.5 years, got them taken off on Wednesday last week (Valentine's Day, hehe* SO was in for the time of his life that eve).
I was lowkey worried about not having the excuse not to eat of my teeth hurting.
But then I went to pick up my retainer on Friday and now I'm super happy with wearing them all the time and being able to pass on food offers saying "I'm wearing my retainer and it's too much effort to clean it again afterwards."
Anyone else wear retainers for this reason?
I'm supposed to wear it non-stop for a year, but I'm just like, why would I ever stop. It's literally a tooth barrier reminding me not to eat.
[Other] Love them, hate them, can't be without them: scales
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 06:05:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ymigf/love_them_hate_them_cant_be_without_them_scales/
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https://i.redd.it/r4c361fk46h01.png
[Rant/Rave] #finallyhappywithmyselfagain
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 05:58:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ymh5k/finallyhappywithmyselfagain/
---
Couldn't wait to share until the appropriate thread popped up but I weighed in below 102 for the first time in months! (I know, I know, supposed to be recovering, I just can't help myself.)
And that 101.8 was after eating a slice of carrot cake and also knowing through extensive testing that my scale measures .5lbs higher. So I am on the closer side of 101 than 102! Ofc this is pushing me back into restriction but I haven't felt good about myself since I decided to try and gain weight. Classic dilemma of staying healthy or staying happy ya know? Needless to say, my phone is full of congratulatory pics of my progress hahah
[Discussion] Has anyone here tried sleep supplements?
/u/YourChinaDoll [5'1" | fat cow | sorry cows, you don't deserve that]
Created: Mon Feb 19 05:54:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ymgcu/has_anyone_here_tried_sleep_supplements/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I've lost 17 lbs and prefer how I looked before, yet I can't stop forcing myself to lose weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 19 05:15:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ym8y3/ive_lost_17_lbs_and_prefer_how_i_looked_before/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ym8y3/ive_lost_17_lbs_and_prefer_how_i_looked_before/
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! February 19, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 19 05:14:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ym8rr/weekly_stats_update_february_19_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for February 19, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 19, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 19 05:14:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ym8r5/daily_food_diary_february_19_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 19, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] February 19th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 04:44:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ym3fi/february_19th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Who is the craziest person in your life?
[Help] How to sleep while hungry? + insomnia
/u/bloomoonxx
Created: Mon Feb 19 02:19:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ylhaf/how_to_sleep_while_hungry_insomnia/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Gave my girlfriend my scales
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Mon Feb 19 01:29:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yla2p/gave_my_girlfriend_my_scales/
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[removed]
[Other] finally hooked up; that apparently wasnt the problem
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 19 00:55:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yl4na/finally_hooked_up_that_apparently_wasnt_the/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My jaw is better but is eating really worth it?
/u/AllFamiliar [5ā3ā | CW: 107 lbs | BMI: 18.93 | UGW: 97 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 19 00:40:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yl2hc/my_jaw_is_better_but_is_eating_really_worth_it/
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I donāt really know how relatable this is but if anyone has a similar problem and/or can offer words of wisdom it is appreciated!
From my junior year of high school through my sophomore year of college I frequently had jaw dislocations due to TMJ (usually one or two a month) that ALWAYS required surgery. For the entirety of this time period I was on a soft food/liquid diet the whole time. Anything that couldnāt be mashed with a baby spoon was off limits because my jaw would literally dislocate if I even tried to eat it, and most of the time a few bites was all I could manage through the pain. Throughout this whole time my weight remained very low as you could imagine from jaw pain making it difficult to eat/not being able to indulge in most high calorie foods.
Now that Iām almost at a year post-op after my final surgery Iāve been learning what foods wonāt bring pain to my jaw and have gained about 35 pounds through the process and it just really fucks with me mentally because just a year ago and didnāt have to put my body through hell on purpose to be comfortable with my appearance. Now Iām dealing with an old ED that I thought was resolved. I know to anyone outside of this sub it might sound ridiculous but I almost wish I still had my jaw issues from before the last surgery regardless of how painful it was that way I would have some peace for once and not be spending hours in the gym or abusing medications or restricting and hating my body. It was nice having a little peace but now my body is a reflection of myself and my jaw issues canāt save the day.
I guess what the main point would be is that itās just so difficult coming to terms with the effort my brain tells me it will take to feel decent again. I know I caused myself to look how I currently do and feel disgusted with myself. My family has spent so much money on fixing my jaw and seeing lawyers and I constantly feel guilty for having a bad relationship with food now. I know iām extremely lucky to be able to have a good jaw that can chew food without needing surgery like it used to but itās really hard to appreciate it when itās causing me so much grief now.
[Other] PSA Australians: Halo top 30% off ($7) at Woolies
/u/avakadava [5'6.5" | 132 | 21.0 | -22]
Created: Mon Feb 19 00:26:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yl0eh/psa_australians_halo_top_30_off_7_at_woolies/
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[Rant/Rave] Struggle rant.
/u/Eau_De_Chloroform
Created: Mon Feb 19 00:17:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ykyur/struggle_rant/
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My anxiety is big and gelatinous and heavy and unreasonable tonight.
I interviewed for a higher paying position at work. I don't care so much if I even get it but the not knowing is killing me.
I had to pay extra for taxes instead of getting a rebate.
I ate fucking Chinese AND Italian restaurant food this weekend, because I have no chill apparently.
I've made no progress on applying to grad schools because anxiety.
My continued health insurance coverage is questionable.
My formerly super close friends that I used to talk to about this stuff have grown more and more distant and I don't even know if we're friends anymore.
In conclusion, I'm going to low restrict this week so I can at least be successful and make progress at the numbers game. I usually high restrict to around 1000. But I just feel so awful about every aspect of my life and how I'm making no progress anywhere and failing friendships.
But I can win the fucking numbers game.
I can fucking win that.
A dannon lite Greek yogurt with 2 strawberries cut up in it and that's it every day.
This bullshit is going to be my plateau-buster.
[Help] [help] I just received a bombshell and feel like a horrible person. Donāt know where else to put this, this is the most understanding place for me
/u/Kinglens311
Created: Sun Feb 18 22:42:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ykidl/help_i_just_received_a_bombshell_and_feel_like_a/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ykh5p/help_i_just_received_a_bombshell_and_feel_like_a/?utm_source=ifttt
[Help] [help] I just received a bombshell and feel like a horrible person. Donāt know where else to put this, this is the most understanding place for me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 18 22:35:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ykh5p/help_i_just_received_a_bombshell_and_feel_like_a/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Binged all last week and now I wanna die
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 22:33:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ykgqz/binged_all_last_week_and_now_i_wanna_die/
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Vague self harm mention ahead
Iām interning at a company where we travel semi-frequently for work. Last week, I was stuck in a tiny, podunk town with two coworkers and a total of three (three!!!) non fast food restaurants. There were literally no healthy options; the salads at all of the restaurants were gross ass lettuce and shredded carrots. So of course, I ate only junk for an entire week.
I came back, and now Iām sitting at 120.5 lbs, a full 5 up from a month ago. I just want to cry and cut all my fat off. I told my girlfriend and her response was āitās okay! We can work on a healthier eating plan and workout schedule togetherā which is 100% not helpful at all. Sheās trying but god I just feel even worse
[Rant/Rave] How do I get over the mental hurdle?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 18 22:18:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ykdyo/how_do_i_get_over_the_mental_hurdle/
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On mobile flair as discussion or help or just rant or rave.
So I have successfully restricted really low for a few days and some days have been easier than others but the logical non ED part of my brain keeps reinforcing the idea of what I am doing is not sustainable and going to cause harm besides the normal ED time of harm.
I have purged in a week and I have also been binge free so for me restricting seems like a comprimise that isn't as harmful in the long run.
I have been below 200 and closer to 150 for about 4 days now and the scale is dropping pretty quickly. I feel like I should eat more. I am not talking about high restricting yet that still sounds scary but like moving the bar from 200 to 300 or 400 or even at most 500.
I work full time and my job is relatively active objectively lots of time on my feet and walking up and down stairs.
So I am asking not how to ED but how do you convince yourself to be more reasonable and logical.
How do you convinces yourself to eat as much as you do whether it's lower or higher?
I feel like my number is arbitrary but also I feel really obsessed with it.
How do j be more reasonable or rational when my obsession and the ED mind wants me to do harm and be very rigid?
W.
[Discussion] DAE document what they eat so obsessively that their camera roll is almost all food pics?
/u/sorenkierkegels
Created: Sun Feb 18 21:53:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yk99a/dae_document_what_they_eat_so_obsessively_that/
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https://i.redd.it/ozdv0vl0p3h01.jpg
[Other] Watching yourself fall and letting yourself slip
/u/glossboy
Created: Sun Feb 18 21:52:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yk91y/watching_yourself_fall_and_letting_yourself_slip/
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I was sitting at 711 today feeling like a fool eating a bag of shitty binge junk food at 11:00 pm.
I told myself that this was going to be the last time I was gonna see that much food in a while so I'd better savor it.
I couldn't.
My stomach felt uncomfortable trying to shove all the food down and couldn't stop obsessing over how much I was gonna go up the next day.
And then my friend sent me a video. It wasn't anything related to ED but it was the first time I found out the youtuber had a past ED.
It was a motivational video talking about how they struggled through it and in the end it wasn't all worth it.
And I know. Despite being fresh to this, I can see it all. How ugly things are getting. Watching myself spent 12 hours researching thinspo and looking for more tips despite all the research I've already done.
I can see myself falling and I keep denying it telling myself that it's not even that serious. That every time I find strands of hair in my bed that it's normal and that everyone sheds hair.
But I was struggling to hold back tears because I could relate to how much all of it just fucking sucks.
I don't want to do anything anymore. I lay in bed for 20 hours a day on the weekends. I can't think straight anymore.
And despite all this I still want to continue the week long restriction I have planned.
People make fun of these forums all the time but they don't know what it feels like to be addicted to hurting yourself.
Most of us know the issue, but knowing doesn't solve anything. It's an ugly cycle that despite everything you don't want to leave.
[Other] How to lose 10 pounds SUPER fast!?
/u/bloomoonxx
Created: Sun Feb 18 21:20:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yk2tn/how_to_lose_10_pounds_super_fast/
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[removed]
[Help] I purged. For the first time in YEARS.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 18 20:51:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yjwqi/i_purged_for_the_first_time_in_years/
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[deleted]
[Other] Anyone remember these abominations? Sorry, Iām not gonna pay 25Ā¢ for a trashy scale/genie/fortune cookie horror-trifecta. Found in MN.
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Sun Feb 18 20:50:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yjwhy/anyone_remember_these_abominations_sorry_im_not/
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https://i.redd.it/jvp3athqd3h01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] F*ck my life.
/u/kaitlynethomas8
Created: Sun Feb 18 20:39:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yju2i/fck_my_life/
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[removed]
A technological glitch triggered panic attack..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 18 20:23:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yjqv1/a_technological_glitch_triggered_panic_attack/
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On mobile flair as help or rant rave something.
I religiously track my steps and calories on my phone but don't apply them to what I consume. I like to hit certain goals to feel like I am not garbage. I used two pedometer calorie tracker apps and both of them stopped tracking and start subtracting calories and not I want to cry.
I've only had 90 calories today but because I can't track I don't feel safe adding anything else my anxiety is paralyzing me right now and I am at work in a kitchen surrounded by food I want to eat and people keep coming and comping and we keep running out of things I just want to go home but I also feel like the glitch is all my fault and I need to punish myself by walking whenever I get off work. It's all my fault.
Why am I like this? Why does anxiety and this obsession get the best of my. I have a huge headache cause I've been restricting and probably won't have anything else for the rest of the day until things start working.
I'm like on the verge of tears I'm so bugged right now and anxious and scared and just all the emotions.
Help me..
W.
[Discussion] Most weight you've gained within a few days?
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 156 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 19:25:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yjecf/most_weight_youve_gained_within_a_few_days/
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Dear. God. I just snapped myself out of a 4 day binge and hopped on the scale for punishment...boy did I get it.
On Tuesday, I was 156 pounds. Today I am 170. **FOURTEEN** motherfucking pounds. And I wasn't particularly dehydrated or anything on Tuesday, either. I'm only 5'4, how much water weight can I possibly hold? I guess my fat probably holds a lot? Fucker.
Anyway. Please tell me your water weight/rapid gain horror/miracle stories, I need to hear them :(.
[Rant/Rave] seeing delusional weight loss comments are motivating for me // makes me feel
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Sun Feb 18 19:17:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yjct6/seeing_delusional_weight_loss_comments_are/
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I see a LOT of posts on /r/loseit or general social media like:
1. The delusional "my weight is out of my control type / i tried everything and i'm still not losing weight"
help i'm super overweight and i TRIED EVERYTHING! it's my genes/metabolism...any cheats/tips for weight loss?" No..you're overweight because you eat too much betty. Eat less.
2. "Just started my journey!" posts on facebook or instagram. Now won't post anymore since you actually never continued it.
3. "I blame everything else but me for my weight" comments
"My mom makes me eat...I was raised this way. My friends want me to eat out with them, my husband isn't supportive enough, I can't afford a gym membership" etc.
4. "I'm eating under my TDRR...but I'm still not losing weight!" Are you REALLY sure about that? That is physically impossible if you're burning more than you eat and you still retain fat. Eat less. Literally just eat less and you'll lose it.
5. That one friend that bitches about their weight and you see them chug a pizza down. Literally one of my friends is like that on snapchat -- posts her weight, cries over it and then posts her eating at a buffet and saying how her diet is ruined.
Like I feel like even with my ED I am still more sane than these people who chug down food, cry over it, vow to diet and rinse repeat...At least I'm losing the weight.
edit: Whoops didn't finish the title: // makes me feel better about my self
[Discussion] Does anyone else get super jealous of anyone who loses weight?
/u/pickles023 [5'6"|CW: 130|BMI: 21.07|GW: 110|22 F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 18:53:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yj7nx/does_anyone_else_get_super_jealous_of_anyone_who/
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My boyfriend lost three pounds last week and Iām stupidly jealous. He was already really tiny, so itās just not fair. Iām really mad about it, even thought I lost last week too! It feels weird.
Does anyone else get unreasonably jealous when someone close to them loses weight?
[Discussion] full on 860 cal?
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 142.7 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 23.1 | 19F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 18:52:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yj7bq/full_on_860_cal/
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im in a heavy restrict cycle and i usually can only manage to keep it down to 1100 but today i had only 860, and i'm super full, even a little nauseous. is my stomach shrinking? im kinda worried
[Tip] Weight loss tip???
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 18 18:48:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yj6fv/weight_loss_tip/
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[deleted]
Working out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 18 18:44:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yj5ma/working_out/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] FUCK YEAH BITCHES
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sun Feb 18 18:31:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yj2yo/fuck_yeah_bitches/
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https://i.redd.it/jjl0w07zo2h01.jpg
[Help] Iced vs hot coffee
/u/Elizawitch [5'3" | Female | CW: 100lbs | GW: 90lbs | UGW: 85lbs]
Created: Sun Feb 18 18:26:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yj1n0/iced_vs_hot_coffee/
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Which would burn more calories? Or boost metabolism or whatnot
Cravings galore and being bored = my week will is being tested.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 18 18:15:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yizbg/cravings_galore_and_being_bored_my_week_will_is/
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On mobile flair as rant or rave
I have successful restricted low for a few days and the scale is reflecting it but I miss food so much and right now I just want a fucking grilled cheese sandwich and like a really full sandwich extra buttery and cheesy.
I have already head 100 calories today though and I have been at an average of 200 the last few days. I know one thing a won't kill me or make me gain but I don't want to give in so I and making a post right now to just try and talk myself out of it.
Pros.
It's cheese and delicious and would taste really good. It is free cause I'm at work and could make it and measure everything out to get an accurate count. I could do half of one and go light on the cheese. I could chew and spit but my coworker is here and I would look dumb and crazy. Also if my boss saw I would definately be judges and people wouls gossip.
Cons.
It will break my restricting streak potentially and could lead to a fuck it binge attitude which would undo my progress so far and make me regret it. I would probably regret it and want to purge. It could upset my stomach and give me diaries. It could not taste as good as I imagine. It could make me feel sluggish for the rest of the day. It could make me feel bloated or gassy.
So here is my pros and cons. I feel like the cons weigh heavier than the pros (pun intended) not going to do it. Maybe another time. I can wait and may be have something later that will fit my daily restriction better.
Things I could have instead.
Cucumbers and hot sauce
Egg whites with seasonings and hot sauce
Celery
Smart pop popcorn at home
Sugar free jello or pudding after work
Crackers at home
Halo top ice cream at home
Sliced tomatoes with salt and pepper
A small salad with Walden farms dressing
Mozzarella baby bell cheese
Granola bar at home
So many alternatives that might be less regretful.
Sorry this reads like a journal and less like a rave this has just been helpful to just rationally thinking about this.
W.
[Goal] For the first time in over a year, my background depression is quieter ;u;
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 137 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 17:55:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yiunm/for_the_first_time_in_over_a_year_my_background/
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I have been struggling so much over the past 1.5 years, but today was legitimately good despite spending it alone in my parents' house (toxic environment, I can't move out rn) with no weed. And I know it's because of lifestyle changes I've been making and me trying so damn hard to fight off my depression; today I felt the result of my effort - happiness. I'm crying/tearing up as I write this because I'm that relieved. I wanted to share this with you all because this is such a huge moment for me. And I hope it can inspire some hope <3
I'll leave you with one of my favorite songs; it really captures how I'm feeling.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOZkoalCoHc
[Discussion] What sort of fashion are you into?
/u/lavender_lilac_life
Created: Sun Feb 18 17:51:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yitx8/what_sort_of_fashion_are_you_into/
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I figured we should have an upbeat thread. A commonality between many posters here is a great caring and reverence for their physical appearance so it only makes sense that you would all care about clothes. Personally I'm obsessed with minimalist stuff like Rick Owens, Yohji Yamatoto, Raf Simons etc.
[Rant/Rave] Binged for the last three days STRAIGHT
/u/gayishfish [5'7" | CW: embarrassing | BMI: high | -9 lbs | 23F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 17:43:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yis15/binged_for_the_last_three_days_straight/
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I feel absolutely disgusted with myself. I CANNOT stop binging and, quite frankly, I kinda want to die. Pretty sure I've gained at least 5 lbs in actual weight. I just cant fucking stop though :( i know a big part of it has to do with smoking weed but like i dont really want to stop doing that. Its the only thing keeping me from being majorly depressed right now...
I just bought a pair of pants that should fit and they are insanely snug x_x this is what i get for binging.
HOW.DO.I.STOP!!!
Don't mind me, just your regular I'm faker over here whining about being a fatty.
Xoxo
[Rant/Rave] Found out my sister's height and weight
/u/thriveonthedownward [5'2 | CW ? | GW 91 | F 30]
Created: Sun Feb 18 17:35:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yiq8k/found_out_my_sisters_height_and_weight/
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My sister has always been thin, tall, willowy. I'm home seeing our parents and I stepped on the scale. It's one of those smart scales and it saved her stats from when she was here last. 16 bmi. Fuck me. I have to weigh 85 to have that too. My family likes me being the fat kid. My dad was showing my partner the food he bought for him for the visit. For me, literally nothing. Implying "fat kid doesn't need to eat." I'm down a few pounds which is great, but a BMI of 16, I don't know how to make that possible. I also know I will get comments, as I have, once I get to a lower BMI, because I'm short. If I were tall it would be more acceptable, I think. I feel hopeless and powerless. But even if it's impossible and even if it kills me, I want to be thin.
Anyone have an impossibly perfect sister who they're forever compared against?
[Help] [Advice] Vyvanse + Cycle= Panic Attack?
/u/Soggy_Ramen [ 5ā0 | Thighs the size of Jupiter | GW: 120 | UGW: 100| F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 17:28:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yioq3/advice_vyvanse_cycle_panic_attack/
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Hey all. This is my first actual submission in this sub, I comment some, but I need advice and I know the people here are supportive and knowledgeable and Iām a tad scared. Sorry for the wall of text, I promise to TLDR
So a bit of back history because itās relevant Iām guessing. I have EDNOS, have since I was a teen but was only ever diagnosed later in life when my flow between restriction and binge got stuck at binge. I have depression and anxiety as well. Iām on Wellbutrin which does help with my over eating, but I also have ADHD and my doctor felt that Vyvanse would help with both my bouts of over eating and my ADHD which we both feel is exacerbating my anxiety.
Now we are both well aware that Vyvanse may throw my anxiety into overload but it was a risk I was more than happy to take and up until today it hasnāt. Itās been amazing for me. But today my cycle started which I didnāt expect. I had to leave the house for a doctors appointment and sometimes I get bad hot flashes along with severe cramps. I was not feeling good, but without thinking I took my Vyvanse before I left the house and within an hour I had a full on panic attack which Iāve never experienced before. Iāve had many anxiety attacks but never a panic attack and I donāt know if my period had anything to do with it?
Is anyone able to shed some insight for me? I havenāt found anything online with anyone having a similar experience. I havenāt been on the drug for very long at all and I donāt know if I need to stop taking it when my cycle comes along? The pharmacist mentioned not stopping once I start taking it. Iām not sure if I should not take it tomorrow?
TLDR: I had a panic attack on vyvanse the same day my menstrual cycle started and I donāt know if itās connected. Please help.
im going to the movies w a friend how do i make sure i dont eat??
/u/cooliospaghettio
Created: Sun Feb 18 17:11:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yiklz/im_going_to_the_movies_w_a_friend_how_do_i_make/
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[removed]
[Intro] Just found this sub yesterday. I've cried, laughed, and felt more love reading this than I have in 10 years.
/u/e_st96 [| F | 5'5" | CW: 135 | GW: 110-115]
Created: Sun Feb 18 16:49:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yifm5/just_found_this_sub_yesterday_ive_cried_laughed/
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Hey guys. I'm 22. Been going through this for almost 10 years. I am 5'5-6' and I currently weigh 135 which believe me, I'm not happy about at all. Lowest weight was in the 90's but I've struggled really terrible with binging for the last 5 years. I binge more than I restrict and I'll often lose 10 pounds only to put it all back on in real weight within less than a month.
I've tried keto and it didn't help much at all, so I'm on a steady diet of cigarettes, black coffee, and whatever I want that fits inside my calorie limit. I'm trying to get down to 115. Its not perfect, but its better than I am now. I relate so much to all of the discussions in here and everything I've read feels like a day in my life for the last 10 years. This eating disorder has become a fundamental part of who I am and although I hate it, I can't imagine existing without it. I hate how much of my time it takes up and how I've been unable to stay enrolled in university because of the stress and inability to focus on anything besides my weight.
'Recovery' has never worked for me. I've tried it many times but I always come back to this place. I'm sure you can all relate. Our bodies might 'recover', but I'm unsure if our minds can ever. I hate my eating disorder, but I also love it in a strange way because its made me who I am today. I've noticed all of the great humor on here and I think that struggling as much as we do gives us all a great sense of humor. Pain builds character I suppose and I'm sure none of us lack character at all. I don't know what to say other than I love you all. I've been to eating disorder therapy groups in hospital settings so many times, but I've never related as much to other people as I do reading this sub. One day I hope to recover and not count calories ever again, but I know that time is not now nor any time soon likely. As I've gotten older, this eating disorder has become more isolating. I never imagined at 13 that I'd still be dealing with this to the extent I am. Anyways, thank you all for reading my ramblings. I consider you my family and all of you are beautiful.
[Other] I just wanted to share this music video with you lovely people. It's helped me through some rough times.
/u/Wisdomtoothinquiry
Created: Sun Feb 18 16:29:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yib64/i_just_wanted_to_share_this_music_video_with_you/
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https://youtu.be/evpGu3eO0pY
[Other] Another well rounded day
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 187 lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 16:23:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yi9w7/another_well_rounded_day/
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https://imgur.com/6siRwDf
[Help] Nicotine gum?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 18 16:06:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yi5wz/nicotine_gum/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yi5wz/nicotine_gum/
[Rant/Rave] WTF mom
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 18 15:44:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yi0x7/wtf_mom/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i'm a fucking mess
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | "maintaining" | 22f]
Created: Sun Feb 18 15:32:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yhy7d/im_a_fucking_mess/
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sorry in advance for the rant.
i'm angry at and ashamed of myself for breaking my fast. i feel so weak and disgusting. i cleaned my system out with lax and water fasting yesterday and today i went and polluted it again because i have no willpower. i'm angry at myself for eating 200-300 calories today and angry at myself for thinking that's unacceptable. i hate myself for feeling hunger, for wanting to eat, for *needing* to eat. i'm chasing my lowest weight. i was fine with maintaining until i started to gain weight and my 00 jeans are tight in the waist and i'm losing my thigh gap and i feel like my stomach is huge and my cheeks are chubby and i don't even know what i look like anymore.
i just dissociated and almost cried in the supermarket by my office because i got so overwhelmed trying to find low-calorie things to break my fast with. i can't eat without feeling guilty. what if i can't get back to my lowest weight? my whole body is vibrating with shame and sadness. not eating is supposed to be what i'm good at, and i can't even do that right.
[Help] What to do?
/u/mimidudette [5'8" | CW: 145 | HW: 175 | GW: 125 | 20F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 15:19:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yhv2o/what_to_do/
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Hey everyone ā¤ļø not ED related but I know I can count on you guys to give non-food or alcohol related answers haha. Yesterday was my birthday and it was such a shit day, like literally one of the worst in a long long time (purged and self harmed for the first time in a while). I was basically alone all day and wallowing in self pity because I'm pathetic enough to feel sorry for myself, but I'm going to try and make up for it today, forget about everything and have a blast!!!!! But I don't know what I should do? My boyfriend is home with me all day but 1) our internet is out and 2) we have no money lol. I'm thinking of playing a board game later that my friend got me for Christmas, and then maybe we'll do a drinking game or something if I'm feeling up to it??
Basically I'm broke and have no TV and no internet and don't want to eat but want to have fun and celebrate my birthday š¤š Pls help a girl out with some ideas if you can, love you guys and thanks ā¤ļø
[Discussion] Does anyone else not like thinspo?
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 132.5 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.7 | F21]
Created: Sun Feb 18 15:17:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yhumv/does_anyone_else_not_like_thinspo/
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Like, I donāt want to look bony or like a skeleton, I just want to look like a smaller version of me :( does that make sense?
[Help] Worried about tonight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 18 14:40:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yhlat/worried_about_tonight/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone here look at macros/is concerned about protein?
/u/strawstring [Height 5'10 | CW :( | -76lbs | 20F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 14:22:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yhgla/does_anyone_here_look_at_macrosis_concerned_about/
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Basically the title, but I'm super curious as to whether or not you guys feel like eating more/less protein makes a difference. I don't really ever see protein discussion here so what do you all think?
I always feel like higher protein things are "better" for me, and would like to eat enough of it so that I keep muscle - but at the same time I can't bring myself to eat more and bring my calories up :(
[Rant/Rave] The grocery store I started working at put calorie counts on *all* of their food. Including hot case, and pizza.
/u/Trinkets-Baubles [5'3 | 144 | 26.58 | F | UGW 110]
Created: Sun Feb 18 14:04:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yhc6r/the_grocery_store_i_started_working_at_put/
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RANT AND RAAAAVE.
It's amazing tbh. The salad bar has everything listed on a lcd with calories too. It feels nice to be able to actually see the content of what I'm eating so I know wether or not I was going over. I wish more stores did this because the one I work at isn't typically where I shop. (I go to hobo-mart where you should never buy produce.)
Also it makes me see sooo many skinny girls skim from the fried section, to pizza, to make your own salads. Typical salad is mixed greens, or romaine, bean sprouts, cherry tomatoes, peppers, and a vinaigrette, before (or after) hitting up the Starbucks in the food court. It makes me really envious lol. I can even hear them order from where I am.š
Anyway, how yall get your coffee and salads? My coffee is always too much creamer cause I can't give it up.
[Tip] Was craving spaghetti bolognese... Found the perfect substitute at around 130 calories per small bowl. Filling and yummy.
/u/Dumbledickhead [5'5 | CW 119 lbs | GW 90 lbs]
Created: Sun Feb 18 13:44:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yh6nx/was_craving_spaghetti_bolognese_found_the_perfect/
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Brocoli rice (just shredded/grated broccoli usually sold in packs) and a few spoons of dolmio sauce, microwaved topped with a little spoon of hummus on top because hummus. It's delicious, filling and really filled that craving. And it's healthy and low cal!
[Discussion] DAE plan to recover in the future when theyāre āsick enoughā?
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword
Created: Sun Feb 18 13:42:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yh65v/dae_plan_to_recover_in_the_future_when_theyre/
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Like yeah sure at some point I want to recover. In the sense that I want to eat normally and not feel guilty and hate myself for eating food or punish myself by eating food or reward myself by eating food. Yāknow, basically have a normal relationship with food.
But like.....I canāt recover yet because Iām not only NOT sick enough to deserve recovery, I didnāt lose enough weight to justify recovery.
Like Iām still the same weight if not more as before and just because in my head my relationship with food and my body is fucked doesnāt mean I have a āreal live eating disorderā because outwardly Iām the same.
Like I donāt deserve to recover. Thereās nothing to recover from because Iām still fat. If i ārecoveredā now it would be fake and an excuse to just eat more and stay fat. So even though friends are concerned about my thinking/relationship with food, itās not actually a real problem because outwardly nothing changed.
Does anyone else feel this way or just me? ._.
[Discussion] EC stacking and exercise calories burned?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 13:25:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yh1hz/ec_stacking_and_exercise_calories_burned/
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[removed]
[Help] low-calorie but sustaining snack/meal?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | "maintaining" | 22f]
Created: Sun Feb 18 13:22:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yh0ry/lowcalorie_but_sustaining_snackmeal/
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soooo i've been sort-of fasting for the past few days, and i'm at work rn in a job where i can't afford to not pay attention (i work at a travel agency and if i mess up a reservation it'll be bad). i was planning iced coffee and a walk during my lunch break but i'm a little worried about zoning out and i work until 7 p.m.
any suggestions for sustaining but low-calorie (like under 200) snacks i could eat? i work about 5 minutes away from a supermarket so i can walk over during my break.
[Discussion] Anyone else hate showering?
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Sun Feb 18 13:18:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ygzk6/anyone_else_hate_showering/
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It just gives me an excuse to tug at my chub some more
[Help] Can Someone PLEASE Explain Food Weight?
/u/UnderseaK [5'7 | cw: 150lbs | bmi:23.4 | gw: 110lbs]
Created: Sun Feb 18 12:59:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ygu40/can_someone_please_explain_food_weight/
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So I understand that food and water weight is a thing, but what even?
I weighed in this morning (154, thanks menstruation) and then had 3/4 of a banana and a few sips of water. After TWO bms (TMI I know, but periods do that to me) I weighed in again TWO POUNDS HEAVIER! What and why and how?! I promise I did not eat a two pound banana, nor did I drink two pounds of water. I think my body is pulling calories from the air or something. šš
[Help] Food scale suggestions please!
/u/AnaBrideToBe
Created: Sun Feb 18 12:00:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ygduz/food_scale_suggestions_please/
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Mine has been acting weird and I'm making a wedding registry so I thought I'd throw one on there.
[Help] What the fuck am I going to do
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Sun Feb 18 11:53:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ygbxs/what_the_fuck_am_i_going_to_do/
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I've gone over my calories by idk how much this weekend. Pizza, tamales, biscuits...all of these were surprise, unplanned, and UNWANTED foods.
I really can't even stand myself right now. I was feeling ok yesterday morning, I actually felt like I looked thin, but I fucking blew it. Now all I can see is how wide my thighs look and the fact that I'm about to get my period doesn't help anything since I'm bloated af.
I can't even begin to look at myself after I saw myself this morning. I've got towels and blankets draped over every reflective surface and I'm wearing a huge shirt with leggings and ankle weights. It's so early that I don't know how I'm gonna get through the rest of the day without eating. I usually avoid eating before 7pm. It's 1:00pm.
Fasting is so hard for me, but I fucking have to do it. My family gets together on Sundays and my uncle (God bless him) is grilling steaks. What the fuck am I going to do? I don't want to seem rude and not eat, but I sure as fuck don't want to feel fatter and eat with everyone.
What the fuck am I going to do.
[Thinspo] so unfair so unfair so unfair
/u/flightlesspotato [5'5 | CW: 128 | 21.0]
Created: Sun Feb 18 11:47:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ygad6/so_unfair_so_unfair_so_unfair/
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https://i.redd.it/eau3t7lvo0h01.jpg
[Help] Help with vitamins/supplements
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|114lb|22F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 11:14:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yg1j2/help_with_vitaminssupplements/
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I have always had a really hard time being good about taking my vitamins, and I need to be taking them now more than ever. I have a pantry full of calcium, magnesium, C, D, multivitamins etc. but for some reason I can never bring myself to take them, partly because I never know what the right amounts are/what time of day they should be taken.
what vitamins/supplements do you all take to keep the effects of ED at bay? what amounts and when do you take them? what needs to be taken with food? anything would be helpful. I will say I'm scared of biotin because I don't want my skin to break out. lol
[Discussion] I found this interesting
/u/motivatedcactus [5'3" | CW 114.5 | BMI 20.84 | UGW skinny | 18F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 11:09:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yg068/i_found_this_interesting/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/7yelj2/til_that_the_higher_your_bmi_your_brain/
24 hour fast accountability buddy?
/u/iliveincandylandman [5'8" | 128 š| 19.46 š | F 29]
Created: Sun Feb 18 11:02:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yfyax/24_hour_fast_accountability_buddy/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Weird ED dreams
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Sun Feb 18 10:56:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yfwmu/weird_ed_dreams/
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Does anyone else have weird ED-related dreams on a regular basis? I think it might be because of my recent antidepressant dose increase. It used to be just occasional dreams where I eat a lot of calories and wake up in a panic, but they've gotten much more specific and bizarre recently.
Last night I had a dream about a very special episode of iCarly where everyone was turning into animals until Spencer came out about his eating disorder and suddenly it was reversed. It moved me to tears (in my dream). I woke up and literally said out loud to myself "What the fuck?"
[Rant/Rave] "Damn, you're eating again?"
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Sun Feb 18 10:42:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yft1c/damn_youre_eating_again/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I love you all. You make me feel less alone
/u/ayvyns [5'7ā | 130| 20.2 | -9 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 10:38:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yfs1l/i_love_you_all_you_make_me_feel_less_alone/
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Older proEDEer here. I didn't know about this community (or if it existed) pre-2014 back when I was a restrict/binge/purger. The worst part of it was the isolation.
I like to browse because even now I relate to you guys so much. The amount of support and positivity you give to each other is out of this world, and crucially needed when eating disorders so heavily stigmatized and misunderstood by the rest of society.
Thank you for being amazing :)
[Help] How do you deal with body dysmorphia?
/u/cyanchai
Created: Sun Feb 18 10:01:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yfibo/how_do_you_deal_with_body_dysmorphia/
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I genuinely donāt know how I look anymore. I know my measurements. What confuses me is that Iāll see people on YouTube, in real life, photos or whatever who are at least 30-40 pounds heavier - and in my head I look like them.
I canāt date. I canāt make new friends. All because of how I look. I know Iām holding myself back.
Iām so afraid of this continuing. Iāll always see myself at my highest weight. I see girls rocking certain clothing styles and I completely limit myself because āoh Iām too fat for thisā. Mind you, I think they look fine. I wish I had some peopleās confidence. I usually end up wearing a big pull over and leggings.
I donāt even have pictures of myself anymore because Iām so ashamed.
[Help] Another hair shedding question
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: whale | 22F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 09:57:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yfhbs/another_hair_shedding_question/
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So I've been taking Biotin supplements (2500 mcg) daily for the past two weeks or so, and my hair has been shedding non-stop since I started taking it. Has anyone experienced anything similar? I'm not even underweight (a binge cycle made me jump up like ten pounds since Christmas), and I have about 60g of protein each day.
My hair is very fine/thin to begin with, and all this shedding makes my hair look pretty gross :/ Any advice?
[Other] Dry mouth? Sooo thirsty all the time!
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sun Feb 18 09:53:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yfg8d/dry_mouth_sooo_thirsty_all_the_time/
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While I am on 5 different meds for bipolar I have never had any issues like this before. I know medication can cause dry mouth but Iāve been on these for a while. The first four for over 5 years and the newest one 6 months, so I donāt think thatās the case.
Anyone experience really dry mouth with their ED?
This just started maybe 5-6 weeks ago.
I am constantly thirsty! Wake up in the morning like I have a desert in my mouth!
Probably a doctor question, but I hate doctors, so much anxiety about them.
[Other] Plateau or muscle weight? We may never know. (Iām back!)
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:120 |19.7 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 09:41:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yfd50/plateau_or_muscle_weight_we_may_never_know_im_back/
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Hey guys! Itās been a second since I posted here and I have to get back in the swing of things. The last time I posted I was getting ready to move into my new apartment, which I am now settled into. The only thing was that I had to live with my parents for a week and a half in between apartments and it was hell.
I was able to get away with only eating dinner and I was working out like crazy. (30-50 minutes of PIIT every day with added ab workouts and cardio just because I wanted to be distracted.) Nobody caught onto me or acted weird towards me which was relieving. In the last few days of staying there, I caught myself wanting to snack or trying to snack with my family and I nearly died. They eat so much and it was hard not to want to join them, although Iām glad I was able to keep my snacking exclusive to skinny pop. I definitely started to remember why I liked food when I was at my parents house since my moms cooking is so good. Those thoughts were terrifying and I was able to go back to being disgusted and scared of food, but it definitely took a second to get used to having thoughts like āwow that food looks greatā
My move went well, but when I finally had access to a scale I was back at 120. I was 117 before I had to stay with them. Some of that was water weight but itās been almost two weeks since I moved into my apartment and Iām still plateuing hard. Iām nervous that I worked out too much and accidentally gained muscle weight. I think I look the same and I donāt look bigger, but it kills me to know that a month ago I was 117. This also really set me back as far as my laxative use, since I was trying to cut down. I was down to 2-3 dulcolax a day but now Iām back up to 5-6. Yesterday I took 8 and actually kind of shit myself in my own kitchen lmaoo
Iāve been back to my normal cycle of heavy restricting but Iām still nervous that somehow Iāll never lose weight or something.
I even bought a second scale in fear that my first scale kept giving me higher numbers because it was broken. Iām sure Iāll be over it soon and usually once I conquer a plateau the pounds fly off, but I wish I could just get back to where I was.
I was so stressed about moving and being balls deep in a plateau that I kind of abandoned this sub, but being on here keeps me focused and motivated on losing weight so Iām definitely trying to be more active.
ALSO! I decided to go vegetarian. It started out as an excuse not to eat as much but I find that itās been really helpful. When I do decide to eat, itās always something healthy. It makes me feel a lot less nervous in food situations.
[Rant/Rave] I ate breakfast without knowing the calorie count!!
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Sun Feb 18 09:23:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yf8op/i_ate_breakfast_without_knowing_the_calorie_count/
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I deleted myfitnesspal and got rid of my food scale!
Update: I had a snack without using a measuring cup! I just went right in for a bowl of pineapple.
Update 2: Ate another snack! No guilt.
Update 3: Didnāt do as well at lunch. I dumped half my bowl of rice.
Update 4: About to have sweet pineapple rice. Wish me luck!
Update 5: Negative thoughts after eating a bowl of the delicious rice. Ugh.
Update 6: About to have yet another bowl of fried rice. I canāt stop thinking about how much Iām going to weigh. Ugh
Update 7: I had a bowl of soup and fried rice. I feel like Iām not really suffering from ED and that I donāt need help. I want to walk the calories off. My stomach sticks out so maybe I wasnāt really sick enough yet? This felt like a binge day.
Update 8: Munching on some more pineapple.
Update 9: I had 2 peeps and a rice cake. Am I binging?
[Discussion] February 18th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 07:52:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yeo0g/february_18th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Whatās the most expensive thing youāre wearing right now?
The single thing is probably my Polar watch (I think it was more than my glasses). But the truly expensive thing is all my ear piercings and quality jewelry. The other day it was $180 for 3, and I have 9 soooo.....
[Help] guys i fucked up..... urgent????
/u/nxlx
Created: Sun Feb 18 07:28:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yejdu/guys_i_fucked_up_urgent/
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i was stressing out because i ate way too much this weekend so i took like 10 dulcolax and iām having the WORST cramps of my life. any help??? am i going to die??? what can i do to relieve myself of this literal hell PLEASE
[Rant/Rave] Positive weekend thread?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 18 07:18:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yehc7/positive_weekend_thread/
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On mobile flare as discussion.
Last time I did this was pretty well received.
Prompt as follows.
1.Some Thing ED related you are proud of.
2.Something non-ED related you are proud of.
3.Something you are looking foreword to ed or not related ( ie woosh, bm, planned binge etc )
4.How will you be kind to yourself today?
So I think these are good questions go start.
Me:
1.I am at a new lw and I feel like some times it's actually noticeable other times not. Also been binge free for over a week and successfully restricted/fasted over a week. I have established some good safe foods and snacks and my pacing and mindful pacing and eating is really good. My restricting is mindful. I know how much I allow myself and if just seems like the right amount. Also been walking a lot.so lots I'm kind of proud of.
2.I am doing pretty well at work both not eating there which isn't entirely non ED related. I feel like I am being friendly and it's usually really hard for me. I also really like some clothes I bought recently. I am being more mindful with myself in general and trying to be gracious and kind to myself. I find myself being more introspective.
3.Looking foreword to another lw If I maintain good habits. Looking foreword go allowing myself treats and also my next day off because I want to try some meal prep stuff and maybe go on an adventure. Museums are free the first Thursday of each month so I want to treat myself go the museum this next month. Also I got my cute boots last night in the mail they are narrow but I love them! They are black suede with harness details.
4.
How will I be kind to myself? I will try to be mindful and listen to my body. I am pushing myself pretty hard lately and it's tough to not be critical. I won't punish myself and I will try to practice more positive self talk and less negative talk. It's hard I am going to try. I also want to be kinder to others. I try to genuinely compliment s stranger every day to push my comfort zone and because kindness is free.
Sorry my responses are long. Everyone have a lovely weekend/Sunday and remember.
You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important
-the Help.
W. <3
[Discussion] Thigh fat!
/u/daisyhands
Created: Sun Feb 18 07:08:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yefax/thigh_fat/
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Ahhhhh!!! iām so insecure about my thighs recently !!!! i want to lose thigh fat, people have recommended squats but does that build muscle? i donāt want muscle because that weighs more than fat right? god i hate my head sometime haha
[Discussion] Lost over a pound after eating over TDEE 3 times this week?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 127| BMI: 24.8 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 07:08:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yef8h/lost_over_a_pound_after_eating_over_tdee_3_times/
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Iāve been 127 since the 9th. No amount of restricting would make even a tenth of a pound budge.
I binged 3 times this week. Pizza, sushi, and a really nice restaurant my boyfriend and I went to. My weight never went up, I just stayed 127. Iād estimate about 2500 per day for the pizza and restaurant and like 1800 for the sushi. The other days I ate at or around 900, including last night.
This morning I stepped on the scale and I was 125.8.
Granted, Iāve spent the better part of the last 2 weeks constipated and have only been having BMs the last 3 days.
Has anyone else lost after eating well over your TDEE? Iām so confused. Like, Iāve heard one maintenance day could push you over a plateau but I had 3 days of what are full on binges to me. I checked the scale like 5 times and even changed the batteries, and itās right. Is this real?
[Rant/Rave] Dysmorphia sucks so bad.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 18 07:03:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yeede/dysmorphia_sucks_so_bad/
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On mmobile flair as rant or rave.
Been restricting pretty hard and feeling like I look thinner and then other times I definarely feel like a giant or I feel like some fucked up cartoon character. I am at a new low but still far from gw, four pounds lost in a week and I'm still obsessed with mg reflection in the mirror.
Hips so wide I wonder how I don't bump door frames with ever step Into a room, it looks like I lost all the weight in my stomach but my hips and butt found, I don't want to be thicc I want to be a generic androgynous skeleton. I see rips bug shoulders so broad I feel like my upper body is a fucking mountain but my head is so small. I see lumps and bumps and sag and bloat and not enough bones like archaeologists got shafted on their digging, hip bones hide beneath fat along my lower stomach, abs tease from below, collar bones tease beneath chins and almost look like opposite Popeye the sailor man, thin at the foreword to these plump sausages connect to my shoulders.
I'm not ok with any of this I just want to be a thin straight skeletal line. If it wasn't enough to fast cause I am anxious and won't be able to pack food I will now cause I'm really upset with how I look. This is fucking me up.
Send encouragement and positive while some vibes.
W.
[Rant/Rave] Rant: I'm so jealous of all of my friends.
/u/paifagoras [5'8"| CW: 159lbs | BMI: 24.2 | GW: 110lbs | 16F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 06:53:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yecay/rant_im_so_jealous_of_all_of_my_friends/
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Somehow they all manage to lose 2-3 lbs a week while eating 'healthily' and exercising. Meanwhile I have attempted to do the same for ages and yet my weight is stagnating. My friends are always complementing me and saying that I look really nice, but it's so triggering because no matter how much they try to be nice I always have it in the back of my mind that I look like shit. It doesn't help that some of my other friends like to make banter with about my weight which I pretend to laugh about. I feel like anyone who is nice to me is just making some kind of sick joke.
Earlier this year they tried to encourage me to join the gym, and they would help me be healthier, but it is making everything worse, because I honestly got better results when I fucking starved myself, and seeing them eat what they want and still lose more weight than me makes me feel even more hopeless than I did before, and it feels like I'll never reach my GW no matter how hard I try.
[Discussion] DAE not get hungry during the day but become a monster at night?
/u/Hextoria
Created: Sun Feb 18 06:25:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ye7jz/dae_not_get_hungry_during_the_day_but_become_a/
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Reposted, since i accidently deleted my original post.
[Rant/Rave] So its my Birthday Today
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Sun Feb 18 06:15:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ye5rn/so_its_my_birthday_today/
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You guys, I'm having so many emotions. I don't know what to do. I wish special days like this didn't revolve around food. My boyfriend wants to make me breakfast which is so so sweet of him, but I literally NEVER eat breakfast. I work as a hostess in a restaurant and last night one of my coworkers told me she wanted to bring me in brownies for my birthday. On top of that, my mother wants to take me out to eat this week. None of these people are aware of my restriction. Sometimes I'm happy about this, other times I wish they would notice how much I'm hurting. I wish people could celebrate with me without using food.
I'm so thankful for all of these amazing people in my life, but having this ED makes me wish it wasn't my birthday so I wouldnt have to deal with all of these food choices. Just let me drink my black coffee and I'll be fine.
Thank you for reading this. I hope you all have a wonderful day. ā¤
[Rant/Rave] So its my Birthday Today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 18 06:15:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ye5rl/so_its_my_birthday_today/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 18, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Feb 18 05:11:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ydvun/daily_food_diary_february_18_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for February 18, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Feb 18 05:11:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ydvsp/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
---
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Help] Urm.. am I going crazy? Or is my sister being spiteful.
/u/bronte__
Created: Sun Feb 18 04:26:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ydq28/urm_am_i_going_crazy_or_is_my_sister_being/
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So today is a difficult day. Loads of family over .. they are making a big fried breakfast this morning, there is Krispy Kremes, pancakes... then this afternoon going out for roast dinner at a restaurant.
I'm NOT giving in to things. I've planned it out, this morning I'm having a mushroom omelette. At the restaurant later it'll be a chicken salad. That's as far as I'm pushing things.
My sister knows I have issues with food, I was always skinnier than her, then I put on weight and she was smaller than me. She's put on a lot and I've lost a lot and am feeling pretty good and back on track. She's noticed this. I feel like there is sister envy going on (I was envious when I put on weight and she was smaller - messed up I know!)
Anyway - to the point. She literally just proper seriously tried to make me panic about my omelette. SHE SAID AN OMELETTE IS BASICALLY ON THE SAME LEVEL AS EATING A FULL ENGLISH COOKED BREAKFAST. She said it in a really nasty way that was as if she knew she could try to just get me to eat the cooked breakfast so that I'm the same as her. Does that make any sense???
How? Now I'm feeling uncomfortable about an omelette. FML.
[Discussion] How do you guys have your tea?
/u/PM-ME-ROAST-BEEF [168cm | CW š³ | GW 65kg | F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 04:17:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ydozf/how_do_you_guys_have_your_tea/
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Itās no secret a lot of us are tea-guzzlers. Itās taken me literal years to discover a green tea combo that I like and can actually drink without wanting to gag.
So, what kind of tea do you drink, and how do you guys have it?
Personally Iām a HUGE sucker for the Celestial Seasonings berry/fruit collection. I usually have them with one sugar (or stevia).
I absolutely adore the Twinings Strawberry, Cranberry, and Pomegranate, and donāt need any sugar although I use two teabags per cup which brings it to 4cal per drink.
I love the Tetley green tea and have it with 1tbsp of lemon juice which brings my cup of tea to 4cal.
What about you guys?
[Help] Might be triggering for some
/u/wild-ocean
Created: Sun Feb 18 04:15:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ydopq/might_be_triggering_for_some/
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[removed]
[Help] Iāve completely plateaued
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7 | 123.4 | 19.3 | GW: 98 | FTM]
Created: Sun Feb 18 03:07:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ydgbr/ive_completely_plateaued/
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[removed]
New and just thought Iād say hi
/u/ladyparanoia
Created: Sun Feb 18 02:14:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yd9vc/new_and_just_thought_id_say_hi/
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[removed]
Things were actually going ok and now they arent..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 18 01:33:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yd4q5/things_were_actually_going_ok_and_now_they_arent/
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On mobile flair as rant rave please.
Work was very long. I worked 13 hours today.. I managed to not hurt myself or pass out despite really exerting myself. I packed my bento box of snacks that felt safe to me and pretty much grazed all day and never felt that hungry. I got along with co-workers and felt semi energetic near the tail end of my shift and my coworker even agreed to close the kitchen for me so I could leave and catch the last express bus home.
I walked to the bus stop and hit a major step record of 40k for the day which I had only done once or twice before intentionally and today I was just really busy. I thought about treating myself to something whenever I got home because I was only at 160 calories for the day.
It wasn't until I got home when things fell apart.
I walked to my house from the bus stop...
One care is missing...fuck. that means one of my parents is out and could be back any time. I really enjoy solitude after work and at least packing snacks for tomorrow in silence while I measure things out seemed like a calming and Zen activity for after work.
My dad burst in the door and demands I listen to how his night went and offers me pie that I refused to which he took personally and grilled me. "Are you sure you are ok? Want a chocolate?
"No.." I snapped and I see my words cut the air. I try to ignore him on the couch and walk to the kitchen to start measuring things out. I grab a measuring cup and my food scale from the back of the cupboard no one looks in. And then he stands up and looks over at me.
"You doing alright?" The question baffles and annoys me. I guess I have always wanted people to care or express concern by my parents attempting falls flat because despite everything they still don't quite get it. With all that I go through my dad just says it will pass which I don't find encouraging.
I see him look at my measuring and I freeze in fear and quickly obscure my scale and tuck it into a drawer at my waist height. "Fuck I can't do this" I poor the measured snack back into the back and out the scale back as I think in my head. "I wasn't hungry anyway."
I know it's a lie I tell myself so I don't have to deal with judgment. I lose 8 pounds in the last 2 and a half weeks despite two binge days. My parents never see me despite me living with them temporarily because I work a lot. Their cares and concerns are hollow and empty.
And now all I can eat are my tears as I'm writing this quietly bleeding tears. My ritual was interrupted and I am overwhelmed with anxiety despite how well today went it is this moment that seems to book end it.
I guess I'll try and sleep.
Hope everyone's Saturday is going ok.
Thanks to anyone who reads and responds you are all lovely and amazing.
W.
[Rant/Rave] Ate over daily calories and feeling gross.
/u/losemore [5ā9.5 | oink | 22F | UGW 100lbs]
Created: Sun Feb 18 01:14:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yd2c1/ate_over_daily_calories_and_feeling_gross/
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Iāve been restricting to around 200 - 400 calories daily for the past few weeks and today I went on a two hour bike ride after fasting for 36 hours which according to MFP I would have burnt around 900 calories from. (thereās lots of hills in my city)
When I got home I was just *exhausted*, I knew I needed to eat something sustaining so I made paneer masala (oh god) which was 775 calories for the whole bowl.
It was the first meal Iāve had in weeks and it was DELICIOUS. But as soon as I finished it, of course I had that familiar burning regret for eating something so calorie laden.
I keep trying to justify it because of the calories I burnt today which keeps me technically under my calorie allowance, but I still feel terrible for eating it.
Oh well, tomorrow is a new day and Iām planning to fast for the next 2 days to make up for it.
Brain, why are you like this.
[Help] Maintaining at a low weight
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 91.4 | BMI 16.1 | UGW 88 | HW 126 | 25F]
Created: Sun Feb 18 01:08:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yd1im/maintaining_at_a_low_weight/
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So my BMI is getting into the real danger zone, and I'm starting to have a lot of symptoms. I get occasional chest pain, my pulse races when I stand up, my hair is falling out, and I can't stand for long periods of time.
This is a problem because I'm about to go on clinical rotations and will be very physically active. So my question for you all is, do you think that if I start to maintain and eat a healthy diet with tons of fluids that some of my symptoms will subside?
I guess my core question is, have you guys noticed that your weight or your actual intake is the problem for symptoms?
[Rant/Rave] Just a random thought: my worst nightmare would probably be talking about my ED in public when iām dead ass drunk... i tend to spill all my secrets and dark shit when iām intoxicated.
/u/cashmeremoose
Created: Sun Feb 18 00:25:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ycvno/just_a_random_thought_my_worst_nightmare_would/
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[Help] Need lunch ideas
/u/TheDarkerHalfOfMe
Created: Sun Feb 18 00:22:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ycv89/need_lunch_ideas/
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I really need ideas for low calorie lunches to take to work. For a while I was super happy cause I could go to work and just skip lunch altogether and not be too hungry because I was keeping busy. And it was great for a while. But now people have been noticing and have started to comment on it. And for the life of me, when I try to think of what food to take for lunch my mind just goes blank. So does anyone have any ideas or certain things they like to take for lunch?
[Rant/Rave] i (hate) college
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 17 23:32:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yco55/i_hate_college/
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[deleted]
[Help] super dumb question!! does how far under your tdee effect how quickly you lose weight?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | 22f]
Created: Sat Feb 17 22:21:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ycckb/super_dumb_question_does_how_far_under_your_tdee/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So my fat ass did the worst today and thank you for taking the time to let me unload
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Sat Feb 17 22:17:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ycbwy/so_my_fat_ass_did_the_worst_today_and_thank_you/
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I was restricting to compensate and took my med. Well i fucking double dosed my goddamn lamictal. So heres what happened: found a new stylist since mine moved that i need for my funky hair. Never met, first time meeting, has met my mom and sis. Que panic and fear of death (out of the blue??) Holy fuck. I couldnt drive home, walk, and could barely talk my vertigo was so bad. I was so fucking dizzy, my heart was exploding due to panic and god. I asked her for fucking food because i was trying to help and it RUINED my restriction. My body went into shock. I had a panic attack and empty stomach and the panic attack combined with the vertigo basically made me look fucking drunk. On top of the fact i was fucking up already being anxious. I was shaking so bad. My car is sitting at her house. I had to get my boyfriend to get me. I am so fucking embarassed. This poor lady š. She was real sweet, but oh my god. So now im fat, im going on a date tmrw to make me fatter, and i seriously fucked up on a stranger. Yay. I wish i could restrict more tommorrow. I have to wait till monday. Fuck sundays. Theyre my free days now, i binge less, but sunday binges are my pig out eat untill im sick try to purge and pig out again. FUCK ED! AND FUCK BIPOLAR! /rant.
[Rant/Rave] About to have binge of a lifetime
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Sat Feb 17 21:47:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yc6ah/about_to_have_binge_of_a_lifetime/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why do I do this to myself??
/u/dwaiiiii
Created: Sat Feb 17 21:26:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yc2jb/why_do_i_do_this_to_myself/
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I went full out with my overeating and I feel like Iām gonna pass out because of how full I am. I feel a burn in my chest and Iām trying to purge the food out but Iāve never been able to throw up very easily. Iām in so much pain physically and mentally. I want to die. I am dreading waking up tomorrow and realizing what Iāve done. why canāt I control myself??? Why canāt I be normal???? I really do hate myself and clearly I want to torture my body
Sorry just rly needed to rant.
[Discussion] Do the ladies here ever get insecure about bra band size?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 187 lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 21:08:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ybz5w/do_the_ladies_here_ever_get_insecure_about_bra/
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I'm sized at a 34DD right now and I feel like that's huge (not the cups, just the band).
I want my band size to be 28 but I'm afraid my ribs won't allow it :(
[Thinspo] Me
/u/PoemOfLifeItself [Height 5'6 | CW 97 | BMI 15.7| LW 82| Chair]
Created: Sat Feb 17 20:39:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ybtuk/me/
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https://i.redd.it/6vl3e91y6wg01.jpg
[Discussion] I forgot how amazing keto is at killing appetite.
/u/bcoptions123
Created: Sat Feb 17 19:37:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ybhf3/i_forgot_how_amazing_keto_is_at_killing_appetite/
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Holy cow. I decided to do keto in preparation of a water fast (apparently it makes it easier) and I forgot how filling HFLC is. I've barely felt any hunger today after a breakfast of eggs, bacon and avocado like 10 hours ago. Crazy shit yo.
[Other] ate whatever i wanted yesterday, just drank a LOT of magnesium citrate lax, and other news about my ed controlling me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 17 19:15:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ybd4s/ate_whatever_i_wanted_yesterday_just_drank_a_lot/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE need to eat assorted jellies/candy/whatever in the same order?
/u/picalowpiepi
Created: Sat Feb 17 19:09:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ybbsj/dae_need_to_eat_assorted_jelliescandywhatever_in/
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I have a huge jar of single serve jello cups from ranch 99 and I have to eat the mango, then grape, strawberry, and lychee flavors in that order. 1 at a time. Honestly it stresses me out so much because I hate thinking that I have an uneven number of each flavor. Anyone?
Edit: how do I mark a discussion flair? On mobile
[Help] Terrified of dying
/u/Catsandhoes367
Created: Sat Feb 17 19:07:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ybbcf/terrified_of_dying/
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Is anyone else seriously afraid of just dropping dead from a heart attack or something else. For me specifically, I binge and purge everyday about 3-4 times a day. I've been doing this for about 7 years now with a few months here and there of no purging. I want to stop so bad but I can't. I know that an electrolyte imbalance can just cause one to drop dead from a heart attack. Does anyone fear this?? Does anyone know anyone else that this has happened to?
[Rant/Rave] Twice in one day ā so is that a good thing or?
/u/myrtlewils0n [cw:120 ā¾ gw1:115 ā¾ ugw:107]
Created: Sat Feb 17 18:58:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yb9gj/twice_in_one_day_so_is_that_a_good_thing_or/
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Twice today after going from 142 to 119 (and still planning on going lower...) I got from my brother and step-mother the comments āYou wouldnāt look like such a twig if you are moreā when I only ate half a panini at dinner and gave him the other half and the obligatory āJesus you need to eat a cheeseburgerā when she walked in on me in just a bra and sleep shorts.
This is what I want, right?
Right?
[Help] Fasting, and can't lift! Atrophy already?!!
/u/EllaSuaveterre [5'2 | 113.2 | 21.45 | -7 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 18:43:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yb6fm/fasting_and_cant_lift_atrophy_already/
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I've been fasting for about 20 hours, and at hour 18, I tried to go to the gym. For the two weeks I've been regularly going to the gym, using the machines at the weight my trainer gave me was almost TOO easy. But tonight, on the bicep machine, I couldn't even do one set. What the fuck. I haven't even fasted a full day yet and it's already eating my muscles?! This just means my body fat percentage is going to get higher and higher as my muscles atrophy!!
WHYYYYYYYYYY????
This is not how this is supposed to work!! First you burn carbs, then other food you've eaten, then you burn body fat, THEN you burn muscle! That's how it usually works right? Am I just a freak of biology?!
I'm gonna buy some ketosis test strips, and if they say I'm not in ketosis, I'm breaking the fast with a protein shake and trying again at the gym tomorrow.
Unrelated Side Note: I actually hate exercise and I hate the idea of having disgusting, bulky muscles even more, but my body fat percentage is 33% which means I'm obese even though I weigh 113 pounds, and if I have to look like the fucking Hulk to not be obese anymore, FINE.
[Discussion] [discussion] Do you guys have other mental illnesses? Any other bipolars out there?
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW:š| GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 18:25:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yb2lo/discussion_do_you_guys_have_other_mental/
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I was diagnosed bipolar II like 2 years ago after a very severe depression and bad reaction to meds, but have been suffering from depression since high school at least. My moods and weight are very connected. Hypo/ Normal= Restriction and losing, Depression= Binging and gaining
Currently Iām pretty depressed but have been trying really hard not to binge lol
What else do you guys have besides your ED?
[Discussion] Is anyone else abstaining from social media until they lose weight?
/u/squamouspuppies [5'9" | M]
Created: Sat Feb 17 18:25:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yb2l9/is_anyone_else_abstaining_from_social_media_until/
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Specifically websites where you post selfies and other pictures, I mean. I deactivated my Facebook and stopped using Instagram, Snapchat, etc. years ago and decided that I didn't want to come back to them until I'm at my goal weight because at least then I can post pictures freely without worrying about my weight.
I feel like so much of my life is on hold until I reach my GW. I won't buy myself new clothes until then or go out drinking without worrying about how many calories I'm consuming or take pictures with my friends. The idea of doing all those things really keeps me going. Also, I have a fake Facebook I use to look at old friends' pages and stuff and it's triggering as fuck in a way that keeps me motivated. Anyone else the same?
[Discussion] What are your favorite snacks?!
/u/InterestingPiano
Created: Sat Feb 17 18:16:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yb0ty/what_are_your_favorite_snacks/
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Someone on here mentioned mushrooms with dijon mustard and im OBSESSEDDDD!
So, what else do yall like to snack on? Preferably low cal, but im curious in general <3
[Help] Recovering from a binge :(
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 108 |18| GW:105 | -32 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 18:14:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yb07v/recovering_from_a_binge/
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So today I was back at home and weighed myself and I had *finally* reached underweight! So I celebrated by letting myself go out to eat with my family for lunch and it was like I flipped the switch for the ultimate binge. I ate so much cereal, soda, crackers, and candy. I don't know what to do now. I'm having a panic attack trying to plan the number of days I need to fast just to get back on track. I know that asking for advice is a big no-no on this thread but I really need help trying to calm down and figure this out. I've worked so hard for this and I'm about to implode.
[Other] Remnants of tonight's binge :(
/u/heyheypicklejay
Created: Sat Feb 17 17:48:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yauqv/remnants_of_tonights_binge/
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https://i.redd.it/y3p6t6gccvg01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Binged for the first time in a while and oh god the pain
/u/lunaroseminnow
Created: Sat Feb 17 17:47:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yauhp/binged_for_the_first_time_in_a_while_and_oh_god/
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I've been maintaining eating 300-1000 calories max for a while but this evening all the different stressful things in my life piled on top and I binged. 4759 calories.
Do I hate myself for binging? Yes, but not quite for the reason you think. (TMI WARNING) Currently writing this from the comfort of the toilet where I've been for a little under an hour, where I have morphed into an erupting volcano with a bad stomach ache. I feel nauseous and dizzy. I'm extremely bloated.
This was a terrible fucking idea. I already know I'm going straight back to restricting tomorrow, but jesus christ I don't even want to binge again. I feel virtuous and strong when I restrict, and lethargic and shitty when I binge. Fuck that.
[Rant/Rave] People
/u/Gechosaur
Created: Sat Feb 17 17:27:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yaq4a/people/
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So for the past month I've been going to pit rehearsals for my school's musical and since they keep us away from home until late, my pit director brings in snacks. Only problem is, it's stuff like chips and sugary granola bars and donuts and pizza. I want to eat it so bad, but I manage to keep away.
The real issue are other members forcing me to completely stuff my face. I end up going home and trying anything to skip dinner.
Does anyone else have issues like this? Any suggestions?
[Discussion] What triggers your binges?
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Sat Feb 17 16:53:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yaidx/what_triggers_your_binges/
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[Discussion] Does it bother anyone else when theyāre away from a scale for a period of time?
/u/fragilmountain [5'7 | 238 | 36 | GW: 110]
Created: Sat Feb 17 16:20:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7yab82/does_it_bother_anyone_else_when_theyre_away_from/
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Iām hours away from home for the next three days and therefore canāt weigh myself. Itās really bothering me. Not to mention my lunch was 900 calories today because my parents want to go to a restaurant for every meal :( I know I should enjoy myself but iām not going to be surprised if I come back 10 pounds heavier honestly.
[Rant/Rave] Academic failure making me want to binge yet again!
/u/milkeyedmenders [5'5" | CW: 112.5 | BMI: 18.6 | GW: 100]
Created: Sat Feb 17 15:58:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ya6bp/academic_failure_making_me_want_to_binge_yet_again/
---
my eating disorder is the only thing i've ever been even remotely good at, and it seems like i'm not even all too good at that.
this is my fourth (attempted) semester in college. the first was when i went to an out of state school, got horribly depressed and fell back into starving (which I had been more or less "recovered" from for almost a year) and flunked out as a result. i moved home and tried two more times to go to a community college, and depression fucked me up there again too. now i'm back at it and really, really thought i had a shot this time, but now i'm crumbing under pressure and the anxiety of it all is just making me want to give up already, as well as binge and throw away the fact that i've made it through most of the day with only 100 calories. which will only make me hate myself more since i feel like now i'm not even successful in weight loss. small bits of progress in this hell disease are the only thing that ever make me feel accomplished, and i SHOULD be motivated to keep it up, and yet all I can think about is scarfing down ridiculous amounts of junk food to try and ease my pain and it feels like utter shit. i wish my life and self worth weren't so completely dependent on what and how i eat. but i guess we're all in the same boat there lmao
also: this is my first time posting here and i'm relatively new to this sub in general, so if this doesn't belong I apologize. just needed to vent I guess, and nobody in my life has any clue about my food issues anyway.
[Help] How important is breakfast?
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sat Feb 17 15:35:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ya196/how_important_is_breakfast/
---
Everyone says breakfast is the most important meal of the day and it kick starts your metabolism but how important actually is it? I find it so easy to skip and save calories by missing but what impact does it have with weight loss and how significant actually is breakfast? Surely your metabolism will just get started at lunch/next meal instead?
APPLE WATCHES ARE SATANIC
/u/Kinglens311
Created: Sat Feb 17 15:17:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y9x05/apple_watches_are_satanic/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y9vhh/apple_watches_are_satanic/?utm_source=ifttt
[Rant/Rave] APPLE WATCHES ARE SATANIC
/u/mylittlebony_ [5'3"| 110 | 19.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 15:10:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y9vhh/apple_watches_are_satanic/
---
So I was doing pretty well for a while when it came to eating (I was still being generally healthy but not actively restricting or weighing myself) for about a 6 month period. I put on about 5llbs and wasnāt noticing/gagging over my slowly expanding waistline.
Then my parents got me an Apple Watch for Christmas and since then Iāve unraveled like a cheap t-shirt. I check it obsessively to see how many calories Iāve burned, and meeting my daily goals isnāt enough- Iām not happy unless Iāve hit 200% of my daily calorie/walking/exercise goals and Iām compulsively weighing myself again ājust to be sureā and ughhhhh.
The worst part is that while I was eating like a regular human I picked up a sport with some friends. I was progressing and getting really good at it! And the last few times weāve gone I have had to leave early because I get so fatigued so fast and just...I HATE THIS FUCKING DISEASE. I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. And I hate that thereās not some switch you can flip to just be normal. I canāt just eat like a normal person. I canāt just exercise like a normal person. I canāt just live my life like a normal person. Eating should be the most natural survival instinct in the world and I donāt understand why my brain wants to kill me so badly.
Iām sorry for the word vomit I just didnāt have anywhere else I could say all of this. I love you all.
Shoutout to chopsticks
/u/physics_chick [Height 5'8" | GW: 120 | CW: yikes | F ]
Created: Sat Feb 17 14:50:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y9qv1/shoutout_to_chopsticks/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE have nightmares about binging
/u/PutinsThirdLover [173cm | 52kg | 17.37 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 14:40:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y9oc4/dae_have_nightmares_about_binging/
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Last night I woke up four times with my heart racing, and had to sleepily convince myself that no, I had not just eaten an inordinate amount of carbs, and my calorie count for the day hadnāt yet started.
In retrospect, itās kind of funny how ridiculous that is.
[Discussion] Does anyone else never get full?
/u/throwaway2019170
Created: Sat Feb 17 14:35:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y9nbv/does_anyone_else_never_get_full/
---
Hey guys, I made a new account after lurking here on my main account for a few months. I used to post, but my habits subsided aaaand well here we are now.
Anyways I was reading a thread and noticed a comment saying that they never feel full. I totally relate. Why is that? Iām so jealous of my friends who can just easily quit when theyāre full. Iām the opposite :( I feel like my stomach is a bottomless pit. I rarely get full. I could just eat and eat.. but Iāve had some self discipline. I just havenāt been using it lately. I feel like itās becoming a trend again. I need better restriction
Edit: also wanted to ask, does anyone have any mental tips for this?
[Discussion] Anyone else uncomfortable with meals over 100 calories?
/u/Disputeanocean
Created: Sat Feb 17 14:31:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y9m8z/anyone_else_uncomfortable_with_meals_over_100/
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Iāve noticed now I start to panic if my meal is over 100 calories. Like I can eat 14 meals a day but only 100 calorie things. Idk, maybe Iām just weird.
[Discussion] How many diet drinks do you guys drink in a day?
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sat Feb 17 14:23:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y9kct/how_many_diet_drinks_do_you_guys_drink_in_a_day/
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I know that nothing is *truly* zero, so usually I avoid anything other than water when I am fasting but diet soda is helping me sooooo much. How many diet drinks do you guys drink daily? Are the calories negligible? I know itās only a couple but the idea of any calories at all when Iām fasting is super upsetting to me. I like to think that the caffeine cancels out the few calories??
Really interested in your guysā opinions
Edit: thank you guys!! The potential calories really stress me out but all of your responses are really easing my mind āŗļø
[Rant/Rave] Fainted on my way to the bathroom this morning.
/u/ph26 [5'8 | CW 180 | BMI 27 | GW 150 | Male]
Created: Sat Feb 17 14:00:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y9esy/fainted_on_my_way_to_the_bathroom_this_morning/
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Woke up, got up to pee, felt kinda dizzy, next thing I know I collapsed and ate shit. The worst part is that I woke my mom up, and she's been worried this entire day. I feel like a burden, kind of, on top the fact that I don't want the added attention. I'm not even restricting THAT much? I'm only trying to remain under ~1000 calories, as my TDEE is ~2000 and I should still be losing 2lbs a week. I guess *what* I'm eating is the problem, and not how much, as I'm not really changing my diet, just eating smaller portions.
Any suggestions for preventing that in the future? At the moment I'm trying to eat more salt, and I'll look into glucose tablets / Powerade Zero.
[Other] The 15 types of ED's
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 13:50:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y9cdt/the_15_types_of_eds/
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https://i.redd.it/429939fs5ug01.png
[Rant/Rave] zero to 100 breakdown
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 17 13:35:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y98uw/zero_to_100_breakdown/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i had a dream about recovery/treatment last night
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | 22f]
Created: Sat Feb 17 13:11:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y92qv/i_had_a_dream_about_recoverytreatment_last_night/
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i dreamt that my mom had realized the extent of my ED and was forcing me to go some kind of residential treatmentāit was a clinic in this big, old wooden house. i guess that i was there for an intake appointment. the overwhelming sensation was fear and humiliation at being forced into treatment for my disorder.
then a woman, maybe a nurse or psychologist, looked at me and started writing down notes, and she glanced up and down and said "oh, you've been to treatment before, right? that's how you gained enough weight to be healthy, isn't it?" and i felt a profound sense of shame. a profound sense that i don't deserve treatment or to confront this disorder, because i'm not underweight enough.
i've been lax about counting calories and staying strictly under 1,000 or my daily goal of 800. for a few days, i'd been planning to use this weekend to go back to heavy restriction and fasting with the exception of tea/coffee/water. i woke up feeling ashamed that even in my dreams, i'm calling myself out for not being unhealthy enough for treatment, and excited to go back to addicting restriction.
[Rant/Rave] So jealous of others ability to restrict. All I do is binge massively and purge. I hate myself.
/u/shes_always_sleeping
Created: Sat Feb 17 13:09:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y92g6/so_jealous_of_others_ability_to_restrict_all_i_do/
---
Will preface this by saying this is my stealth act for various recovery purposes. I felt like ordering a dominos pizza just now and I went to this sub instead. Normally just lurk but I feel like Iām losing my mind lately.
I CAN NOT for the life of me restrict like most of you on here. Like at all. I used to be able to but for the past year all I can do is binge to a disgusting extent. Like 10k calories or more a day binge Iām not kidding. I always purge sometimes 3x a day. Iām so tired of it. I wish I could have self control and fast but I canāt.
I tried to go to my doctor to get a vyvanse script and he turned me down. I feel so helpless. At this point I honestly donāt think Iāll ever be able to stop. I canāt afford to see a different doctor because I have Kaiser insurance and nowhere else takes it. Iām really fixed income right now so shelling out $120 a visit and then more for the meds isnāt possible.
Itās draining my wallet and all my energy living like this. Not to mention I have no social life or friends because I canāt stand the thought of having to eat and not being able to purge after. My nightmare.
Iām 5ā9 and 130lbs. I can never get lower than that because Iām such a pig I canāt stop eating. I eat so much itās really hard to puke it up completely without my stomach cramping really bad. So my fat ass is still getting some calories.
I feel completely alone and I donāt see a future where I get better anymore. Thanks for reading this rant. Sorry it was so long.
[Other] saying goodbye to the old scale (all from this morning) šš
/u/blackcoffeegreentea [5'9" | 151 | 22.3 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 13:00:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y8zxf/saying_goodbye_to_the_old_scale_all_from_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/payksftxwtg01.jpg
[Discussion] DAE hate it when other people comment on your weight loss?
/u/ray-annegraff [5'0 | 108 | GW 94 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 11:44:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y8h2w/dae_hate_it_when_other_people_comment_on_your/
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Yesterday my psychiatrist (who knows about my ED) said I looked like I've lost weight. It literally made me want to disappear.
Whether people know or not, no matter the intention, I absolutely hate when people comment that I've lost weight. I feel so embarrassed and like my problems are so obvious and there for everyone to see. Like, I want to lose weight, but I want it to be invisible to everyone around me. It feels so humiliating to know that people look at me and know that I have a problem.
Especially now that I've graduated from college and am working, I don't have the luxury of switching professors and classmates every four months, which made things way easier to hide. I am terrified
that my coworkers will or have already noticed, and I especially don't want them to think this makes me less competent somehow. But the only way to stop this is to stop relapsing...
[Help] Clogged/ringing ears while fasting?!
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sat Feb 17 11:32:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y8e4p/cloggedringing_ears_while_fasting/
---
Iām only on hour 41, which is better than Iāve been doing the past couple months but honestly anything under 72 feels pathetic.
But lately I have been noticing a ringing/numbness/clogged feeling in my ears when I stand- accompanied by the lightheaded ness of course.
Does anyone else experience this?? Does it have to do with EC stacking? I never noticed it before I started stacking.
On the plus side I am newly motivated and feel no urge to eat at all which I havenāt felt in awhile but I also need to lose 7 lbs asap šš (this part is unrelated- I just wanted to get it out)
[Discussion] ED-Related Quirks
/u/PinkyOutYo
Created: Sat Feb 17 11:24:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y8cby/edrelated_quirks/
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I started thinking about this yesterday when a co-worker asked me why I always have a hairband on my wrist when I never tie my hair up. Obviously I didn't say it was for when I purge. It made me wonder if there are other things that I do because of my ED that seem strange to people but not in an overtly disordered way.
Another one I thought of is that I never drink alcohol with food, because obviously I'm just going to throw it up and that's an unconscionable waste of good drunk-maker. So if I'm eating out, I'll drink water with my food, go and do the deed and then almost down a glass of red in the 5 minutes before everyone wants to leave.
What are some other ED habits that you have?
[Rant/Rave] How do people be normal?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Feb 17 10:39:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y81rc/how_do_people_be_normal/
---
On mobile flair as rant or rave.
Who actually eats fast food or at Starbucks?
I usually just get plain coffee or a small light frappe that I drink less than half of.
All of their food things are like 300 calories or as much as 500. That seems crazy. Maybe because I am restricting low but I feel like it's all super dense and sugary. I have definately seem skinny people eat them like I guess if someone has a TDEE of 1200 or more or god forbid is a tall athlete and can eat 2500+ it would be manageable but I can't quite imagine any of it not in a binge context.
I also miss taco bell. Kind of a binge trigger for me cause I could eat all the Burritos and crunch wraps and thing a but even that stuff is 400 calories. I have never had a time where taco bell or Starbucks food or fast food wasn't a binge.
Some day may be?
I can't wait for the implants that track vitals and calories to be invented. Or o wish I could just get a tape worm to eat me from the inside (sarcasm).
I wish I wasn't disordered.
W.
[Rant/Rave] I wish I knew how how my TDEE was affected by work
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Feb 17 10:32:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y80dt/i_wish_i_knew_how_how_my_tdee_was_affected_by_work/
---
On mobild flair as rant or rave.
TDEE/BMR calculators seem inaccurate to me also because I might be paranoid from feeling like getting so much false information from sources that are supposed to be trusted.
I had a dietician tell me about "starvation mode" I was also told I have to eat me and full fat dairy to be healthy. I am mostly vegan with very few dairy.
I work in a kitchen as a cook. I track mg steps some times but it is never quite that many. I feel like my job does make me tired so I am using energy but since I don't know how much I don't count it. I walk 3 to 10 miles a day outside of work sometimes and don't factor them into my intake.
For my job I am on my feet continuously moving not necessarily always walking but cooking and preping and running food which I have to climb 20 steps for because the kitchen is downstairs and the dining area is upstairs.
I am restricting low and I feel obsessive about staying low because I feel like my body retains food and water weight super easily. I just wish
I knew how work affected things.
I guess I just want to justify eating more instead of not much. I feel like I'm my mind my life is sedentary because I am not covered in sweat and I don't use any muscles. Cooking for 8 hours (or for yesterday 10, and today 14 hours) seems like it would burn calories but maybe I am just trying to justify eating more.
I just want to eat more things. I feel limited but the numbers i am consuming as anxiety inducing as it is. And I actually feel like I should restrict more with work.
W.
[Rant/Rave] I gained 20lbs from the holidays until now and I wanna fucking die :')
/u/illbecountingclouds
Created: Sat Feb 17 10:30:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y7zqr/i_gained_20lbs_from_the_holidays_until_now_and_i/
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Edit: will flair as rant/rave when I get to my computer
Before the holidays, I was 130, perfectly in the healthy weight range for someone at 5'4", and I even had a bit of rib showing. I didn't love myself, but I sure as hell didn't hate myself as much as I do now.
I'm fucking overweight again.
I can't believe I did this to myself. I feel disgusting and gross and I don't want to eat anything ever again even though I know I have to and I will because I have no *goddamn fucking self control, apparently*.
My close friends I've told say I look fine, but I just can't live with being overweight anymore. I was like that for almost all of my life, and I just can't do it.
I just wanted to share my anguish with people who can relate, really. They don't get the pain from knowing *so much progress* was wrecked in just three months, and how awful it feels to be technically overweight again.
Thanks fam. š
[Rant/Rave] Impatience and ED
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9 | CW160 | GW120 | BMI23.20 | 20F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 10:24:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y7ya9/impatience_and_ed/
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I was thinking for the past few weeks about montages. Like in movies and TV, especially the rocky montage and mulan montage and anything to do with body improvement. I would watch those growing up and get so pumped up and run around and imitate them. Now I look at them and see one of my core flaws: Impatience.
Realistically, the progress in a clip series like that takes weeks, months and/or YEARS. All that gets condensed into 30 measly seconds. I think that's why I'm so fascinated with before & afters and body pic collages. All those weeks months and years come together in as little as two pictures, and that's what I want. I don't want to wait longer than those 30 seconds, I want to wake up and be halfway to my goal. I want scale victories and non-scale victories every other day. I don't want my ~one or two~ slip-ups to set me back farther than I what can recover in a few hours. And I certainly don't want to restrict 300 calories when I could restrict all calories and get that much closer to the reality I see at the end.
I don't know why I let myself be like this. You'd think after failing to achieve any kind of success with this all or nothing method that I would rethink, but I never do. Always I'll be doing the most and then crashing to doing nothing at all, and I really hope that one day I can move past instant gratification like an adult.
[Discussion] POLL: Bronkaid vs. Primatene?
/u/itzybitzyboo [5'2|CW:133|HW:158|GW:98|19F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 09:57:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y7s16/poll_bronkaid_vs_primatene/
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I just want to know if you guys have a preference.
I originally started with Bronkaid, then went to Primatene because I wanted half-doses. But I recently went back to Bronkaid, and wow, it's like a whole new world again. I'm not sure if it's just because I doubled the dose though (I halved and doubled caffeine accordingly as well)..but yeah, just wondering other people's opinions.
[Other] Itās the weekend and I have no plans and you know what that means
/u/peachplumtear
Created: Sat Feb 17 08:28:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y78ji/its_the_weekend_and_i_have_no_plans_and_you_know/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] The more weight I lose, the fatter I feel
/u/misspennyfoolish
Created: Sat Feb 17 08:22:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y778i/the_more_weight_i_lose_the_fatter_i_feel/
---
Itās like that Einstein quote āthe more I learn, the more I realize how little I know.ā
The more I lose, the more I realize how much I still need to lose.
When I was at my HW, I knew I was fat but I was drinking a lot and sort of carefree about what I ate.
Now Iām just hyper aware of it all - every bite I eat, every bit of fat on my stomach, thighs, and upper arms.
To quote Lil Wayne from a song I like āthe top gets higher, the more that I climb.ā
Anyway thatās my pseudo deep ED shower thought of the day.
Hope yāall are having a safe and happy presidents day weekend for my American peeps! I wanna drink but I wanna fast and restrict too and maybe not puke pure vodka and Diet Coke like I did last Saturday though. Still that was a fun weekend. Slept over with a guy who Iāll prob never see again but I was happy and only caught moderate feelings by my standards so I will be fine. You only carpe diem once.
[Other] February 17th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 08:17:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y76dw/february_17th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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If you could change something about today, what would it be?
[Discussion] Best journal-type app?
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|114lb|22F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 07:58:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y72kt/best_journaltype_app/
---
I'm trying to find out the best way to record my progress. I was thinking making a side instagram/side tumblr but I'm scared of accidentally posting to my main and it's not quite what I'm looking for. What's the best app you've found for recording text (like journal entries and weigh ins) and pics (body checks, screenshots of other fitness apps, etc)? Not looking for followers or community necessarily, just something I can do for myself to keep track of things all in one place.
[Other] Tried to convince my parents that my eating is not disordered, had a bad time
/u/thebeesknees19 [Height 5ā6.5ā | CW 100 lbs | BMI 16.21 | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 07:25:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y6wc8/tried_to_convince_my_parents_that_my_eating_is/
---
So my parents and my boyfriend have been expressing more and more concern over how much I eat lately. My boyfriend was hella sick the other day and decided calling me āborderline emaciatedā was a good idea.
In an effort to throw them off my trail, I suggested we go eat dinner at one of the greasiest, most unhealthy restaurants in my college town for my birthday. And then 30 seconds after that I looked in a mirror and realized I look like a fucking whale. (Side note: my flair is not entirely accurate.) And now I feel like shit and am trying to hide the fact that Iām considering going back to restricting, fuck maintenance.
But at the same time, my psychiatrist is now watching my weight so I canāt really lose. Fml.
[Rant/Rave] Literally Have Binged 3 days In a Row
/u/bunntendo [Height5'7 | CW122 | BMI19 | GW110 | GenderNB]
Created: Sat Feb 17 07:22:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y6vsy/literally_have_binged_3_days_in_a_row/
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[removed]
How to Reduce Waist Size
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 17 07:16:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y6upu/how_to_reduce_waist_size/
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http://diceview.com/how-to-reduce-waist-size/
[Rant/Rave] suicidal ''over'' weight gain
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 17 06:28:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y6mpu/suicidal_over_weight_gain/
---
[deleted]
[Other] The guy Iām seeing is thinner than me
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 115 | 19.7 | meh | 26F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 06:16:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y6kw6/the_guy_im_seeing_is_thinner_than_me/
---
This is juvenile and petty bc Iām 26 yo but like, yeah.
Also id probably stop seeing him if he ever interferes with my bulimia
Protecting an ED what a life..
[Help] Emotional eating; how can I stop it?
/u/Realisticfable
Created: Sat Feb 17 06:14:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y6km2/emotional_eating_how_can_i_stop_it/
---
Boredom, sadness, loneliness, stress are the main triggers for my emotional eating or rather binge eating, i ferociously binge on nasty foods while watching movies and isolating myself, its mindnumbing and comforting, i can go up to 10k calories a day. How do I stop? :(
[Rant/Rave] I wanted it to be me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 17 05:39:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y6fc9/i_wanted_it_to_be_me/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Help! Getting fatter for no reason??
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Sat Feb 17 05:35:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y6eu5/help_getting_fatter_for_no_reason/
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[removed]
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! February 17, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Feb 17 05:11:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y6bhr/stupid_questions_saturday_february_17_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for February 17, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 17, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Feb 17 05:10:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y6bdv/daily_food_diary_february_17_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for February 17, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] [Help] ā¦19.0/bmi Realistic?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 17 05:00:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y6a01/help_190bmi_realistic/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] āØNervous breakdownāØ
/u/filthypit [23F ā¢ 5ā4ā ā¢ 99lbs]
Created: Sat Feb 17 04:34:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y66ld/nervous_breakdown/
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I am spread so thin at my job it is driving me slightly mad.
I am losing all confidence in my relationships and am on the verge of sabotaging them all. Trying to refrain because every time I do this I obviously regret it.
I am sad and angry for no reason and feel unsupported even though Iāve told no one. I donāt know how to ask for help.
I donāt have real problems but Iām still completely losing it once again and donāt know what to do. Donāt know who to talk to since there is really nothing to talk about except the fact that I am hanging on by a thread.
I am so tempted to run away. Even just for the day. Fall off the map. Pretend the plans I am being dragged along for this weekend donāt exist.
I donāt have anywhere to go. Maybe Iāll just drive.
[Help] Experiences of binging after fasting? Am I gonna die?
/u/COOKIE_PRINCESS [4'10" | šŖ | F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 03:48:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y60l6/experiences_of_binging_after_fasting_am_i_gonna/
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I last ate anything other than water/coffee on Monday evening which will be like 4.5 days and I just heard that my sister is coming tonight. That means that there will probably be food involved and it's either have a breakdown and be totally unable to deny how much I'm struggling with my ED again, or more likely I will binge and eat thousands of calories because that's what always happens.
I've read about refeeding before but I never really understood it so I've always been very careful about tapering off slowly and planning to stop fasts before any potentially triggering events. What's going to happen? Is there anything I can do?
Edit flair help please I'm on mobile
Positive constructive choices over negative destructive choices. I did a good thing?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Feb 17 02:20:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y5pv4/positive_constructive_choices_over_negative/
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On mobile flair as success or rant rave thank you.
I was really stressed and upset when I got off work. I had really strong urges to self harm but I told myself id pack a bento box of snacks for tomorrow at work and if I still wanted to harm after I could.
I spent a lot of time measuring and calculating, weighing and deciding and even putting some work into making stuff look cute and I am less up set now.
I made a small container of overnight oats for tomorrow morning early at work or before I leave. (60 cals by my estimate)
I packed my bento with some fresh veggies and some salty snacks. Sliced tomato, a couple baby carrots, smart pop popcorn (one of my fav safe foods cause it's 35 cals a cup.) And some herb type crackers.
I have a good idea what my total will be for the dad and knowing and having a plan makes me feel less anxious and more in control. I also don't feel like harming.
I feel like I actually accomplished some thing.
I also can't wait to scale things up in the future. I have a pending plan to raise my intake a little bit as I lose to go from super low restriction to higher and maybe one day I will be able to maintain. I also need to slow loss so it is less noticeable to family.
I just feel proud of myself and I am also proud for just not binging in over a week now. I hope I can keep up this planning and having a sense of control...
Thanks for letting me feel proud for a brief moment between feeling really disordered and broken.
W.
[Rant/Rave] A lady I work with...
/u/acidfairy [5'4" | CW: 133 | GW: 115 | -45 | 24F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 01:54:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y5mj1/a_lady_i_work_with/
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[removed]
Getting ready for round 2 of alternate day fasting, sharing thoughts
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Sat Feb 17 01:20:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y5i6z/getting_ready_for_round_2_of_alternate_day/
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[removed]
[Discussion] The flu is killing me but I'm low-key excited thread
/u/pm_me_ur_eyeholez [5'5" |-50| HW: 250/LW: 130/GW: 107| 26F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 23:31:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y537s/the_flu_is_killing_me_but_im_lowkey_excited_thread/
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Flair as discussion? Rant?
Where my sick babies at? Around 11A today, suddenly, my body turned against me in a violent way. I literally had to run to the work bathroom like I hadn't let a ducolax run it's wonderful course. I had been so backed up bc my body hates me (lol tmi) and now I live in the bathroom! I'm nauseous and cramping and miserable, but guess what? I'm also excited because I only ate 350 calories today and it's def not in there anymore. Theres nothing in my body anymore except a real cool virus. I even got to cancel dinner plans and can avoid all social obligations this weekend, yay! This is such a wonderfully shitty blessing from the universe, I literally can't. But seriously, get a flu shot. this sucks, I haven't been this sick since college and I know I'm only going to prolong it because I'm incapable of caring for myself, woo! How does your ED give you miserable joy??
[Rant/Rave] Up 4lbs since morning... going to make good decisions and go to bed instead of b/p
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4" |105.4| BMI 18| GW 96 lbs |32 y/o]
Created: Fri Feb 16 23:20:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y51nt/up_4lbs_since_morning_going_to_make_good/
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I'm up to 109 and freaking out. I want to b/p but that's stupid and won't do anything. I'm so scared of being this weight, especially when I was around 90 back on July.
But okay. I'll calm down. I had a massive Chinese buffet binge today and hoping some of it is water retention from the sodium. PLEASE.
I won't b/p instead because a thought is just a thought and I know it is irrational to binge/purge again.
[Rant/Rave] Gained 14lbs in a week of binging
/u/lukasimons
Created: Fri Feb 16 23:18:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y51bs/gained_14lbs_in_a_week_of_binging/
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So yeah, as the title says... I'll never lose the weight and I just kinda want to give up and become fat again, fuck it all. It's either get fat, lose it (somehow, even though I'd take 42days of eating at 1000 deficit), or killing myself.
I hope this makes your day somewhat better
[Rant/Rave] I'm glad I didn't purge
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 188 lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 23:10:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y508t/im_glad_i_didnt_purge/
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I made mac and cheese after a 44 hour fast and ended up slamming a bunch of candy my mom sent me (thanks corporate holiday [jk love you mom])
All said and done it was ~1400 calories (about 700 under maintenance today + didn't eat yesterday) so it's fine right?
Wrong, lads
I felt so full and bloated and disgusting- I've never purged for calories before, but I've purged because I was SO UNCOMFORTABLE after eating an UPSETTING AMOUNT OF FOOD
This time I was leaning towards purging for calories :/
I was telling myself it'd just be this once, but I knew that was a lie, and it would have started a cycle :( I still drank a liter of water in the hopes that it would make me throw up
Then my boyfriend called and he could tell I was upset, and me made me tell him why, so I told him I ate a lot and I wanted to throw up. He asked what I ate, and he said,
>"wow, that's a lot of food."
omg you guys I wanted to die. I immediately started crying.
And he of course doesn't get why, so I tell him,
>"You told me I ate a lot of food."
And he's like,
>"I just meant it's a lot at once after not eating for two days! Not because of the calories! You're doing great honey :)"
That helped a little bit
Anyway I weighed myself before and after everything and I legit gained 5 lb in 2 hours
Well joke's on me, because I weighed myself after peeing a couple times and I'm back down 4.5 lb
I know this is a dumb and pointless rant, but I'm just glad I didn't start the purge cycle for nothing
And I'm really thankful I'm in a binge-fast cycle instead, haha
[Tip] prom is in may so i need to stop over-eating:Tips for ignoring hunger?
/u/trustweight [5'1|167.7 Ib|31.69|3 lb|F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 22:54:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y4xs6/prom_is_in_may_so_i_need_to_stop_overeatingtips/
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[removed]
[Tip] Mini Spaghettios cans
/u/finnkat
Created: Fri Feb 16 22:51:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y4xc4/mini_spaghettios_cans/
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Campbells makes 7 oz spaghettios cans which is perfect for a single serving. Original spaghettios are 150 calories/can and spaghettios with meatballs are 170 calories/can. The ones with meatballs especially fill me up really well. I don't personally count anything other than calories so I can't tell you about fat or carbs but they have a lot of different kinds of vitamins. For <200 kcal I think theyre super worth it especially if you're craving pasta. I also love individually portioned food, makes everything so easy. I get mine at walmart for less than a dollar, otherwise it seems the only place you can get them is online.
[Rant/Rave] ......hi
/u/imokayjustfine
Created: Fri Feb 16 22:29:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y4tny/hi/
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So I literally just made a throwaway account to post here, even though the only other Reddit account I have is already pretty anonymous. (Why am I like this? I'm a grown ass adult.) Anyway, I guess I just need to vent.
I have a history of disordered eating and was dx'ed as EDNOS back in the day (OSFED now) because I used to binge and purge but sort of inconsistently. I stopped purging with treatment but never truly learned how to stop binging and feeling disgusting, or how to do anything in moderation when it comes to food...at all...
Either I'm nonstop obsessing about what foods are okay for me to eat, or I'm completely not giving one single fuck. There is no in between. I mean, I want to find one. I've heard one exists. I'm pretending I've found one, but it's becoming so painfully clear that I have not.
I'm talking like over the last 10+ years, my relationship with food has still been all kinds of fucked up, including a brief relapse into purging, Good Foods and Bad Foods and all that, not to mention some of the worst binging ever. The only period where I was at a healthy weight was when I was actually just sticking to strict categories of What I Can Eat and What I Can't Eat, but those walls started coming down during my first pregnancy and everything went to shit.
I felt stuck in an abusive relationship then, my binging was out of control and I convinced myself that it was fine because I didn't know how else to cope. It was not fine. It was not fine in any way. Of course it just kept getting worse over the next few years, which also included another pregnancy.
My weight has gone up and down more times than I can count. But until about six months ago, I was legitimately huge, huger than ever, and knew I needed to do something about it. And I wanted to do it *the right way*. I really did. I have kids now, after all, and I just want to be healthy for them! I want to be a good example!
But I can feel myself slipping back into some weird ass territory in terms of my thinking at least (??), and I know I should probably seek some professional insight regarding this matter, but I...don't...actually want to... I mean, I couldn't even if I did want to because I don't have insurance for myself at the moment. But even if I could, I'm not sure I would.
I'm down 87 lbs in less than 6 months and rarely give people those actual numbers. Everyone is just praising me for my weight loss, and I'm eating it up (no pun intended, lol :/).
Gah, I don't know! I legitimately need to *keep* losing weight!! I wish I could just be reasonable about it like a normal human being (??!!), but it's like a switch has been flipped in my brain.
I'm pretending that I'm actually addressing my binging, but now I feel like I'm mostly re-channeling it into a whole new realm of disordered eating. I've never lost weight this quickly though, and it feels so good.
HOWEVER. Internally FREAKING the fuck out when my two year old tries to feed me a *single kernel* of popcorn? That...does not feel good, nor does brushing my teeth twice because a *smidge* of the gross fake butter shit MIGHT have gotten on my lips, and I didn't want to swallow even .1 ml of it or whatever (lmao). What the fuck. What the fuck, guys. This post was in fact inspired by my complete inability to be around popcorn tonight. Popcorn fucked me up.
How did I get to this point so quickly? This whole thing started out healthily enough. My MFP goal is set to 1,500, and then I decided to actually go for 1,200... Now I secretly feel like 1,200 is excessive even though I *know* that it's not, and I secretly feel like a fucking failure every time I go past 1,000 (like today, lol, hence the popcorn panic).
And even though it gives me some anxiety, I definitely do get a sick kind of thrill out of seeing that little chastising message MFP gives when you go under 1,000 (without bullshitting to avoid the message, that is). I've had a lot of days now where I'm at 8 or 9 hundred, and 8 or 9 hundred often feels like a lot. I'm also starting to have days where I'll see it at 6-something and will actually feel like, "Hm, okay, this is fine; maybe just stop eating now you fat fuck." But then I usually do eat something more later and land at 8-something.
Annd I hope it's okay that I'm even posting here? Because that's probably nothing (or rather, a lot) compared to how a lot of you restrict.
Maybe this is all silly and overdramatic of me. I don't know.
I just know that I'm getting a little too obsessive, and I guess I just needed to tell someone. I just needed to confess somewhere. This is sort of uncharted territory on the same old fucked up map for me, and I feel utterly ridiculous trying to navigate it. And very alone.
[Discussion] Holy shit you guys
/u/lessavauges [5'10 | CW: 138 | GW: 126 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 22:18:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y4s0i/holy_shit_you_guys/
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The vegetarians have been holding out on us. I just discovered Quorn, and fuck me sideways why has no-one ever told me about this delicious goodness. It's so low calorie compared to meat. I made a massive stir fry, with enough leftovers for 2 more meals, and it was only ~340 calories for a huge serving. I'm so full, it should last me all the way until dinner!
Any other good low calorie meat substitutes? I'm aussie btw, so we have different stuff to you yanks :)
[Discussion] Favourite pre portioned foods?
/u/dethleib [5'3 | CW: 115 | CGW: 110 | UGW: 96 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 22:04:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y4pk6/favourite_pre_portioned_foods/
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This post brought to you by the perfectly portioned mini berry cake I bought after fighting tooth and nail to avoid buying and subsequently inhaling a lemon pound cake š
I love these kind of items even though they're usually processed junk. I've always had a hard time determining normal portions of food so having pre measured items feels safe and somewhat comforting that someone has taken the guesswork out for me. It's easier to feel *done* when I've finished my tray of lean cuisine, as it's already one portion. As compared to say, If I'm say making toast, one slice just revs me up to destroy the whole loaf.
So what are your favourites? Looked around the store for 100 calorie cookie sachets but it seems those aren't a thing anymore? We also miss out on a bunch up here in the Great White North š
[Other] i ordered a regular human-sized portion of Chinese food
/u/reallysmallsnail [5'7 | cw: 144 | gw: tiny | 22.5 | f |]
Created: Fri Feb 16 21:30:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y4jwl/i_ordered_a_regular_humansized_portion_of_chinese/
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i am going to chew all of it and swallow it and deal with the stomachache afterwards that solid food has started to give me.
i am going to pinch my stomach over the next few days and curse myself for ordering it.
but i will not regret it, because i didn't order it for me.
i ordered it for the desperate girl who bit her lip and distracted herself all day until her dad left so she could sob and cry on her office floor as loud as she wanted.
i ordered it for the girl who is more than sad and broken and tired and alone. who skulked through the house avoiding her reflection after an hour of crying to get a glass of water and push her cold fists into her hurting eyes. it was the first thing that came to her mind after drinking enough water to soothe the pain in her throat.
i ordered it so she could make herself some tea and settle in to a show she likes and feel warm and safe and full instead of cold and *empty* like every other day. because even though just an hour ago she was thinking it would feel *cathartic* to sit in her bathtub in the quiet of the house and sink to the bottom of it and never get out, she stood up. and she decided to keep going.
i know it is really silly, and even more so i understand food can be triggering to some and repulsive to some but it doesn't have to be food. please *please* do something nice for that small part of yourself that may be hurting or scared or in need of comfort. you will not regret it. you more than deserve it.
[Rant/Rave] 150 calories might as well be 150 million in my mind.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Feb 16 21:17:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y4hno/150_calories_might_as_well_be_150_million_in_my/
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On mobile flair as rant rave.
I am at work. I have been restricting all day and the past few days. I am at a plateau. I allowed myself to bring a sugar free pudding cup to work for later in the night when I am closing it's only 60 calories but I feel like I haven't "earned" it so much of my perception of food is around reward, punishment or control.
I need to be in control.
If I am I can be rewarded.
If not. I get punished.
I do more punishing than rewarding and I feel like the "treat yo self " mindset is one of those things in my mind that is kind of ruined by the pseudo body positivity (fat acceptance). moment. I just want the chocolatey taste. I have only had egg whites and raw veggies today. Before the pudding I'm at 85 calories but the mental hurdet to triple digits is really hard to day.
I don't feel like I deserve the kindness of the little treat for my hardwork. It would be a challenge to eat it. I am really anxious and I have a coworker that might judge me. I just still feel anxious from earlier. I had a panic attack before work.
I am so tired and still have 3 to 4 hours of work left before I can go home..
Help me. Send prayers, thoughts, positivity. Kind words.
Thanks.
W.
[Discussion] Proud
/u/wild-ocean
Created: Fri Feb 16 21:16:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y4hjj/proud/
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Idk why I am writing this on here but I am just so proud of myself Rn! Itās already 3pm here and I have only eaten 12 calories!
Couldnāt be happier Rn tbh!
[Rant/Rave] I'd like to thank my sponsors...
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|114lb|22F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 21:08:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y4g7s/id_like_to_thank_my_sponsors/
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MyFitnessPal, Fitbit, Diet Mountain Dew, Diet Coke, Adderall, sugar free jolly rangers, snickers, grilled chicken and dum dums.
I've been eating 1200-2000 for the past few months, had some marginal success and lost 10 pounds, then hit a plateau and bounced around the same five pounds for a while. I made a post a few days ago about being fed up and wanting to start restricting again. It's been only four days of (lower than usual, 800-900 cals) restricting and so this is totally jumping the gun, but it's crazy how much of a difference a few hundred calories makes.
And it's only been four days!! But already things are so different. Sure, I'm fatigued and cold and my muscles are cramping like crazy. But my coaches are paying more attention to me. Friends have told me I look nice or pretty that day, which is rare. And I guess I was giving off more confident vibes and had better than usual sex last night. It feels dangerous, but things are just...BETTER.
Best of all, this afternoon I hit my lowest weight since moving to college four years ago. I know I'm riding a high right now and I'm bracing for the crash I know will come, but I have to capture this feeling and remember it when I inevitably feel deprived and get the urge to binge in a few days.
Haven't restricted this low in so many years and it feels like slipping right back into a fitted glove. I needed to prove to myself that I still had it in me and I did. I feel like this is a turning point and I'm thrilled and terrified all at once.
[Discussion] Anyone get a high when they binge?
/u/interstellartortise
Created: Fri Feb 16 20:56:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y4dze/anyone_get_a_high_when_they_binge/
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This sounds so bad, but whenever I binge in secret my heart starts beating really fast, and I just get so excited and happy when I'm eating... Idk.. So weird.
[Rant/Rave] Finally found a way to prevent these binges
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Fri Feb 16 20:54:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y4dss/finally_found_a_way_to_prevent_these_binges/
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I have 2 fire safes and all 4 of my cabinets are child proof locked. Guess who has the job to hide the keys after 9? My dude. During the day hours, i have the keys for kiddo and hubby to eat. Late night my monster comes out. And it took locking the house up. Fuck i am so tired of my self destructive binge until i hurt and then try to discretely (lol) purge in the guest bathroom. I live in a single wide. There is no such thing as discrete. I hope that one day i can have a more healthy relationship with food. One that doesnt include 2 fire safes and 4 child locks. My kid is getting older. I am getting sicker and more and more tired and horrible about my clean up. I can only make excuses for my grossness for so long. I promise im trying, but there are so many days regardless of all the lamictal & wellbutrin (and kolonopin courtesy of mom), i just cant power through. I feel so listless. Less listless but also less driven. I want to stay how i look. Ive gained and lost this weight several times. When i used to use really badly, it was easy to hit sub ~90. But after you become a host of responsiblity and importance and need and love, its different. I hate leaving the house and if i didnt have the necessity to do so, id never leave ever again. I just hope this works. I hope it knocks something into my head. Im sorry if this seems fucked up. I hate juggling this and having to deal with my bullshit. I feel like the worst lady and the worst mom. I want to crawl out of this hole, but when ive been in it for 15 years. Its hard not to just stay in my comfy little fucked up burrow. Sorry. I needed to let that out
[Discussion] Opinions?
/u/moochiepie
Created: Fri Feb 16 20:46:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y4c6m/opinions/
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[removed]
Guys obviously don't have self image issues... Fuck right off I don't need to be told i just don't understand because i have a dick šš
/u/selfharmaccount123
Created: Fri Feb 16 20:05:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y44tz/guys_obviously_dont_have_self_image_issues_fuck/
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https://i.redd.it/cbwi9uctvog01.png
[Rant/Rave] Perfectionism WILL kill me.
/u/2fckk
Created: Fri Feb 16 20:02:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y44ef/perfectionism_will_kill_me/
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Can't do all 8 hours of my coursework in one sitting? Guess I won't do any until the very last second and then I'll sob and do the bare minimum even though I'm paying thousands of dollars for a master's degree in a subject I absolutely love.
Accidentally ate a single cookie at work? Guess I'll binge on Pizza, Taco Bell, pizza, bread, popcorn, and soup. In that order. Guess I won't drink any water either. Guess I'll also eat 0 healthy foods.
Can't finish a single chore? Guess I'll let my room go to shit. And while I'm at it, I won't wash my make up off or get up to get in the shower, or brush my hair or brush my teeth.
Sent one dramatic text to my BF? Might as well send 69436 novels like a fucking unhinged psychopath.
For being a "perfectionist" to the outside world, I sure am a fucking sad pathetic slob behind closed doors. At least once a week I have a meltdown sitting in my cluttered room, unkempt, with makeup caked on my face, greasy hands from shoveling food down my gullet, & a ton of regrettable actions.
But don't worry. Because I'll wake up tomorrow and clean my room, do my HW, tell my BF lol I'm sorry, shower, and perfect my appearance. And then I'll leave my house with a smile on my face feeling elated.
And then slowly perfectionistic tendencies will gently guide me into an inevitable meltdown.
Perfectionism is so hot and cold, so black and white. It's simply exhausting.
[Rant/Rave] One does not simply *forget* to eat [rant/ rave]
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW:š| GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 19:57:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y43gq/one_does_not_simply_forget_to_eat_rant_rave/
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Iām kidding, but seriously. I was talking to my {skinny} friend today about food and meals and stuff, and she just casually said *āSometimes I just like, forget to eat. It will be like 8 oā clock and I realize I didnāt eat dinner!ā*
Like whaaaaaaaaaaa? I think about food 24/7 lol and am pretty much always counting down to my next meal. I cannot fathom just forgetting to eat by accident. Like obviously I pretend to forget so I can restrict, but that is not because I aināt hungryšš
This joke by Emily Blunt in the Devil Wears Prada.
/u/efffervescence [5'6 | 102 | 16.99]
Created: Fri Feb 16 19:48:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y41pf/this_joke_by_emily_blunt_in_the_devil_wears_prada/
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https://i.imgur.com/SOF3x3m.jpg
[Discussion] Does Anyone Else feel like their entire day of eating has gone to waste if they consume *one* thing unhealthy?
/u/interstellartortise
Created: Fri Feb 16 19:43:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y40qy/does_anyone_else_feel_like_their_entire_day_of/
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Like, for example, you're out with friends at a restaurant or whatever, and you're forced to eat something you don't want to (because there are no other options) and it doesn't fit your safe food list, so you end up feeling really guilty. Later, you think "fuck it, I fucked up and ate something not safe today" and then just go into raging binge mode. Anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] MY LIFE IS A LIE
/u/carbslut
Created: Fri Feb 16 19:40:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y405p/my_life_is_a_lie/
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https://i.redd.it/s9wa88scrog01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] MY LIFE IS A LIE
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 16 19:35:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y3z8h/my_life_is_a_lie/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My mom used the dreaded "A" word. My dad disagrees.
/u/Wisdomtoothinquiry
Created: Fri Feb 16 19:22:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y3wnn/my_mom_used_the_dreaded_a_word_my_dad_disagrees/
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My dad and I went out drinking tonight. My tolerance is nonexistent compared to where it used to be and I always end up over disclosing. I told my dad I was frustrated with how my mom has treated my weight loss and how she's been grilling me about it. He told me she asked him if he thought I was anorexic and he defended me saying "Anorexic people don't eat the way she does when she comes over for dinner". He went on to say I obviously don't fear food and that I look great.
It was so validating and scary at the same time. I can't believe my mom used the term anorexic. For the record, I would describe myself as displaying generally disordered eating, definitely not anorexic though. I have frequent binge periods, thus the comfortable overeating when I go to my parents' house for dinner. My dad, who is usually the first person to worry about me, thinks I look healthy so clearly I don't have a problem. Right?
I don't even know what this is about. It all felt so messed up but such a relief at the same time and you guys are the only ones who I can talk to about this shit. So, feel free to vent or whatever you need and know I care about you from afar. <3
[Other] sounds familiar š (x-post r/FunnyandSad)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 16 19:03:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y3st1/sounds_familiar_xpost_rfunnyandsad/
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https://i.imgur.com/SOF3x3m.jpg
[Help] Struggling as a college student... please help
/u/pegasib
Created: Fri Feb 16 18:54:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y3r13/struggling_as_a_college_student_please_help/
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Hey guys,
I'm struggling really hard with binge eating as a student in college. I'm on the "debit system" which means that I can pretty much buy food I want without having to use cash or my credit card (i.e., the food gets charged to my bursar account at the end of the semester).
What started as a once-a-week binge has now turned into a usual, daily binge. I can't freaking stop.
I sought counseling (with a nutritionist/dietitian/therapist) a couple of times, but none of them really helped. They helped me outline a new diet plan (eat every 2-3 hours, chew gum, drink water/tea whenever the urge to binge comes up -- the usual).
I'm struggling really hard with this. It's interfering with my studies and I feel as though I'm not able to function and carry out any of my day to day tasks.
For those who have been through the same thing, any word of advice at all?
Thank you so much!
[Rant/Rave] Does your relationship with food ever change...
/u/glossboy
Created: Fri Feb 16 18:41:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y3ocf/does_your_relationship_with_food_ever_change/
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I have this weird fantasy where I'm jealous of people who can put down a delicious donut after eating only half of it because they're satisfied. Or people who opt to go to fancy restaurants with small portions and leave full and happy.
Unlike me where sometimes I don't even get satisfaction from the taste of food itself but the quantity and the way it fills me up.
Is there ever going to be a future me where I'll eat a small bowl of dinner and think to myself: "Yes that was delicious and I'm done for the day and I can always just eat more the next day."
Why is it that my mentality is that an entire plate of pasta that calculates to be more than 5 servings so satisfying to me.
I keep hoping that if I practice eating smaller portions that one day my body will suddenly adjust to that mentality but no matter what I seem to have the drive to finish all of the food in front of me. I hate this.
[Rant/Rave] i keep thinking about my friend's weight
/u/abathroomscale [5'4" | 125 | 21.5 | -35 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 18:22:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y3kfm/i_keep_thinking_about_my_friends_weight/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I showed my father a reference image for my new haircut, and he replied that it would be unflattering on my round face.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 16 18:19:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y3jsk/i_showed_my_father_a_reference_image_for_my_new/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y3jsk/i_showed_my_father_a_reference_image_for_my_new/
[Other] Restaurant Calorie Counts
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 18:09:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y3hpu/restaurant_calorie_counts/
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https://i.redd.it/h3dbel45bog01.png
[Tip] New pizza a recipe: game changer
/u/fatty_mayonaise [5'7'' | jabba | GW 112 | -9 | 29F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 17:34:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y3a56/new_pizza_a_recipe_game_changer/
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So Friday nights are always pizza nights at our house. When I'm restricting, I usually buy myself a Farmer's Tomato Pie from American Flatbread and have that to myself. There's no cheese on it, and an entire pizza is 480 calories, it's a restriction dream. Tonight when I went to the store to get everything, they were out of my pizza. Boo. So I decided to make my own concoction at home.
I took 2 sourdough wasa crackers (70), 1/4c marinara sauce (40), and 2oz Trader Joe's light shredded mozzarella (90) and made 2 flatbread pizzas at a total of 200 calories. It was actually delicious and filling, and slashed so much off of my count that I was even able to have 2 generous glasses of champagne and still be under for the day! I could have my pizza and eat it too š
[Rant/Rave] Friends stood me up
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180 | HW 197 | LW 122 | 29F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 17:32:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y39p3/friends_stood_me_up/
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[removed]
[Help] Antidepressants and weight gain?
/u/Prince_Arra
Created: Fri Feb 16 17:22:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y37hb/antidepressants_and_weight_gain/
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I'm thinking of going on antidepressants, but am scared of possible weight gain.. Anyone have experience of gaining/not gaining on antidepressants?
[Goal] taking a break for the weekend
/u/nxlx
Created: Fri Feb 16 17:02:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y32tm/taking_a_break_for_the_weekend/
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even though i ate WAAAAAY too much this week, iām thinking about being less hard on myself for the weekend. of course, i donāt plan to go all-out crazy, but i wonāt restrict as heavily and iāll make sure to keep myself hydrated and not starving. next week, though... sunday night = lax and monday-friday = fast :ā)
also, i drank a lot of spicy hot v8 tonight and i think iām gonna die... i didnāt even realize how much sodium was in it, but i plan on drinking like 5000 glasses of water so I donāt get completely bloated.
[Tip] roasted garlicā 4 calories for an entire clove(!), spicy & satisfying. My new holy grail of restricting snacks!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 16 17:00:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y32hg/roasted_garlic_4_calories_for_an_entire_clove/
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[deleted]
[Help] Help me create a shopping list?
/u/xxxanon1117
Created: Fri Feb 16 16:46:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y2z6z/help_me_create_a_shopping_list/
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Sometimes when I go to the grocery store I completely forget what low calorie food is and walk immediately to binge food aisles and just walk out with celery and strawberries. So far I have:
Celery
Broccoli
Cauliflower
A lot of vegetables, honestly
Apples
Fiber powder
Tea
Coffee
Halo top
Diet soda
Seltzer water
Stuff I can make low cal meals with or just low cal stuff to eat. Anyone have any go-tos ?
Iām vegetarian.
[Other] giving myself total leeway tonight before going back to heavy restriction
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | 22f]
Created: Fri Feb 16 16:28:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y2vcd/giving_myself_total_leeway_tonight_before_going/
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maybe a gnarly idea because i am *really* afraid of feeling too full or getting nauseous from eating, but i'm giving myself freedom to eat whatever i want tonight! probably a doughnut from the market, some halo top, maybe cookie dough?! i'm nervous but kind of excited, mostly because tomorrow i'm going to ~cleanse~ my system w lax and then only drink coffee or tea for the rest of the weekend. have any of you guys ever given yourself a total free pass night before going back to heavy restriction?
[Rant/Rave] Not getting my cavity fixed bc helps me restrict AND keeps me from purging
/u/pretttyvacant
Created: Fri Feb 16 16:22:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y2txn/not_getting_my_cavity_fixed_bc_helps_me_restrict/
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So I KNOW that the logic of this is so messed up but I have a really painful cavity in the back of my mouth that I have been avoiding taking care of. I haven't been to the dentist in 3+ years and before this tooth started hurting I had been b&p very regularly again (after having gone a few years with "just" binging & restricting). Then one day RIGHT after a purge I bit down on some hard gum and just got this horrific shooting pain in the tooth. Ever since then it has been hurting on a more dull level pretty much all the time with occasional flare-ups of sharper pain.
Since then, I just can't bring myself to purge when I have this throbbing in the back of my mouth constantly reminding me of how much I have already likely messed up my teeth. And it honestly hurts too much for me to eat very much even if I keep all the food on the other side of my mouth. So I haven't binged either.
My friend that I'm currently staying with knows about both the cavity AND my ED and has been encouraging me to schedule a dentist appointment (he's sort of being my pseudo life coach rn bc my life is garbage) but I keep pretending I haven't done it bc of anxiety about the dentist generally. I can't admit how messed up my reasoning on this is even to him even tho ~he knows~ about the ED.
BUT I wanted to share how hilariously self-destructive I am being with someone, so there y'all have it.
[Tip] I have a great idea to stop the binges
/u/laurasia3oo2
Created: Fri Feb 16 16:20:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y2tha/i_have_a_great_idea_to_stop_the_binges/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Made an appointment with a therapist!
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 15:52:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y2n27/made_an_appointment_with_a_therapist/
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Iām not sure how I feel about recovery but I thought it would be good to at least try to talk to someone. I do have a question, though. The woman I talked to to schedule my appointment suggested I see a dietician as well because āprolonged restriction probably slowed down [your] metabolismā. Is that a thing? I was under the impression that slowed metabolism is a myth and the difference in how much weight you lose is differences in TDEE at different weights.
[Discussion] My friend, studying to become a dietitian said this to me, any truth to it?
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5ā4ā | cw 118 | gw 110 | bmi 20.7]
Created: Fri Feb 16 15:47:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y2lvn/my_friend_studying_to_become_a_dietitian_said/
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Hey guys, I was complaining to a friend about wanting to drop 8 more pounds before ālean bulkingā (which probably wonāt end up happening) and mentioned that Iāve been stuck at 118 for almost two weeks. She said āthatās probably just the weight your body naturally wants to be at, so itāll be very hard to lose 8 more pounds off of thatā
This freaks me out cuz 118 is way too big for me and Iām just wondering if that could be true or if itās just BS.
Mods: if this is against the guidelines, my bad š
[Help] Binged. Anyone got a spare moment to throw some positivity my way?
/u/bronte__
Created: Fri Feb 16 14:32:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y23qr/binged_anyone_got_a_spare_moment_to_throw_some/
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Binged. Literally that's all. Trying to fight off overpowering negative thoughts and feelings. Can anyone just say it'll be ok and I can get back on track tomorrow? I need reassurance that's not coming from my own warped current mindset.
Hate this. When I binge I feel like I just want to hide away. Supposed to be going out with family tomorrow and I feel so bad about myself I want to drop out of it now.
What makes it more difficult to deal with is the fact I haven't had a binge for a while now - I was doing so well.
[Help] Binged. Anyone got a moment to through some positivity my way?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 16 14:30:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y23bd/binged_anyone_got_a_moment_to_through_some/
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[deleted]
[Help] [Help] Got drunk at a party and ended up telling more people about my ED
/u/petite-insolite [Height: 164cm | CW: 53kg | GW: 45kg]
Created: Fri Feb 16 14:20:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y20ua/help_got_drunk_at_a_party_and_ended_up_telling/
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I have been fairly quiet about my ED and other mental problems because I am afraid of becoming a burden on all of our friends, so not many of them know that I am suffering. Though many suspect, I have never come out and talked about it.
However, that changed last night, I went to a friend's party, and instead of drinking my one pre-logged beer, I drank many more drinks than that. Maybe it was something about finally have energy in me, but I just kept drinking. Anyway, I ended up getting really upset as it donned on me that alcohol has a lot of calories in it, especially spirits, I ended up freaking out and crying. Luckily I was comforted and took home soon after, however, I ended up getting asked if I was okay, and what was wrong and I told people. I told so many more people.
I am terrified of what is going to come, I know one of my friends, bless her heart, wants to take me to see her doctor (so my parents don't know about it, that's another issue for another time, they are wonderfully supportive but weight is a big issue in my household and not something I feel like I can discuss there) and I am scared. I have been thinking about treatment, and going to the doctor, but I don't know if I am ready to recover. Not yet.
The only plus side is despite my delusional, drunk self thinking otherwise, I did not gain any weight at all.
I didn't know whether I wanted to tag this as help or rant/rave, because in all honesty I don't know what to do anymore, I was so good at hiding everything, even though I wanted to talk about it, I just didn't want anyone to worry about me or see me as a burden or anything like that. I am scared.
[Rant/Rave] Binged...Again
/u/frida569
Created: Fri Feb 16 14:17:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y201t/bingedagain/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Vegan peeps
/u/dotdot-8 [5'8| CW135 | GW122 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 14:10:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y1yl4/vegan_peeps/
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Any vegans out here, I am looking to change some habits and sustain myself and the environment in my own way by reducing/eliminating animal products!
Would love some insight/recipes from those of you who made the transition, tips and tricks, things I can expect, brands or suggestions, etc..
Any insight is appreciated!
[Discussion] Unpopular opinion: r/proed subscribers are the most empathetic and rational with regard to weight, diet, and health.
/u/zorbiz [5' 8" | 18.5 | 22F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 14:01:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y1w55/unpopular_opinion_rproed_subscribers_are_the_most/
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I'm so tired of seeing Reddit's fat people hate and disordered eating thinly veiled under the guise of "health." R/proed is the only place where people actually seem to understand the effects of low self-esteem and unhealthy diets, even if we struggle to apply it to ourselves.
Thank you for your support, transparency, logic, and kindness. Y'all the realest.
[Rant/Rave] I am the Walrus/Sasquatch AMA
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Feb 16 13:37:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y1q30/i_am_the_walrussasquatch_ama/
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On mobile flare as rant or rave.
It's one of those days where everyone seems particularly tiny. I live in a pretty health conscious and fit city but some people look really thin. I sort of wish I lived in a city with more bigger people so I could feel relatively thin because I am not objectively thin or skinny. I am taller in my defense so I have more space for my space to distribute too but I just want to be objectively small without a doubt.
Maybe it's the heavy restricting that is just fucking with my perception of people.
Little victory is as of half an hour ago I have fasted 5 days and successfully restricted low for three days...the scale didn't get the memo yet.
W.
[Discussion] Switching my rules
/u/tahiniii [68" ā 133 ā 20.0 ā -15 ā 24F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 13:03:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y1hbu/switching_my_rules/
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So I used to work in a restaurant, and since I mostly worked at dinner time I had specific rules about when and what I could eat.
Some of them were:
Drink a Spicy V8 when I wake up (usually around 10)
Eat around 600 calories a day
Only liquid until 4 PM
Bring your own food to avoid the staff meal
No eating the bread at work
No sugary things or random snacks
After work a max of 200 more calories is allowed
Unlimited espresso is allowed but milk is not
Only fast on my day off so I don't pass out at work.
Now I am going to start an office job so obviously I will have to change these rules, which are based on me being active at a certain time of day.
The new rules I have thought up are:
Around 500 calories a day (because I will probably be sitting all day this will be fine)
Drink iced matcha before leaving the house (which will be around 9:30)
Bring lunch 3 days a week
Allowed to go out for lunch 1 time per week but I will get a salad
Bring a low cal snack or piece of fruit to work
Add a fast 1 time per week on a work day, on the break I can pretend I need to go to some nearby store for something and when I come back say I ate some random thing
Only eat what I planned to, no eating snacks someone brought, just say I already had a snack.
If you work in an office, how do you stick to your planning? It really freaks me out when there is random food and I don't have the ability to count the calories in it, and I feel impolite when I decline stuff. There will be a lot of random foods around because it's a real estate office, so they purchase sandwich/cookie platters for open houses, and it seems like people are going out to business lunches regularly. Help!!
EDIT: Formatting
[Discussion] DAE freaking love Daiso Japan?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Feb 16 12:57:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y1fsu/dae_freaking_love_daiso_japan/
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On mobile flare as rave or discussion.
So in my city we have a couple stores called Daiso Japan. It's like a Japanese dollar store. Everything is 1.50 to 3.00 and the quality is pretty good.
The best part? Everything is cute and tiny. So Kuwai. Lots of dainty and cute looking stuff. I just got a cute divided lunch box and an isolated bag for work snacks. So much cute stuff. Totally made my morning.
W.
[Discussion] Does anyone else buy food they'll feel "safe" eating a whole pack of?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 188 lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 12:55:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y1f3s/does_anyone_else_buy_food_theyll_feel_safe_eating/
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Ever since doing one meal a day/one meal every other day, I've started doing this:
"oh this whole box of mac n cheese is 720 calories, that can be my food for the day"
"These hot dogs are 150 calories each, I can eat them all at once and it'll only be 600 calories + 280 calories in 'buns,' that works"
I mean it's always really unhealthy food, but if I'm gonna eat I'm gonna fuckin make it worth it to kill those cravings
[Other] Just one good flu away...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 16 12:31:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y1971/just_one_good_flu_away/
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https://i.imgur.com/SOF3x3m.jpg
[Discussion] Anyone else struggling through Chinese New Years?
/u/misspennyfoolish
Created: Fri Feb 16 11:35:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y0u8h/anyone_else_struggling_through_chinese_new_years/
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I was doing so well yesterday until we went out for dinner with all those delicious but caloric foods like roast duck and fried fish and I inhaled everything like it was Year of the Pig :(
Also Iām half Chinese half white and I had to inherit the short āstockyā female build on my dadās side instead of my momās tiny frame and perfect tiny legs ugh.
I like celebrating but not with food and every holiday is so freaking food centric.
Also now I need to research how many calories are in that carrot rice cake thatās dense af.
[Help] I NEED HELP GUYS
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Feb 16 11:27:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y0rxe/i_need_help_guys/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] What. The actual. Fuck.
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Fri Feb 16 11:04:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y0lrm/what_the_actual_fuck/
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Iāve been doing really well with restricting this week. I donāt eat until dinner, at which point I eat 100 calories or less. All I have during the day is water, tea, and diet pop. I have a Diet Coke or sprite during my lunch break when Iām super hungry and it fills me up for a while until I get home for dinner.
On Monday, my Diet Coke went missing from the employee fridge. I though I might have drank it and forgotten, so I didnāt think much of it. I brought 3 more the next day, wrote my name on them, and by Wednesdayās lunch break, they were gone.
AND AGAIN TODAY!!! I just fucking put one in the fridge this morning with my name on it and I KNOW I didnāt drink it!!! Who the fuck takes someoneās stuff without permission???
DONāT THEY KNOW THAT DIET COKE IS MY LUNCH EVERYDAY???
I hate people. I want to cry. Iām so hungry it hurts and all I wanted was my Diet Coke.
When you starve all day in anticipation...
/u/Dumbledickhead [5'5 | CW 119 lbs | GW 90 lbs]
Created: Fri Feb 16 10:58:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y0k07/when_you_starve_all_day_in_anticipation/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What do you consider a āhigh-restrictā?
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 132.5 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.7 | F21]
Created: Fri Feb 16 10:48:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y0h8c/what_do_you_consider_a_highrestrict/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I feel like Iām doomed to be a fat whale forever.
/u/MellowKittyCat [170|CW:š³|GW:45|BMI:17|Atypical Ana]
Created: Fri Feb 16 10:43:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y0fx9/i_feel_like_im_doomed_to_be_a_fat_whale_forever/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Family struggles
/u/Gechosaur
Created: Fri Feb 16 10:31:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y0ciq/family_struggles/
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Hi, I'm a long time lurker, first time poster so I hope this is alright. ..
Anyways, I'm trying desperately to lose weight and fast and exercise but the one thing holding me back is my family. It pisses me off honestly. I have to exercise in the bathroom with the door locked or else they'll make fun of me and harass me. I try to eat healthy (mainly just fruits and vegetables) but then they go out and buy trash or make something completely loaded with calories and get mad if I don't want to eat. I'm left getting to the bathroom ASAP and purging. I'm incredibly frustrated by this, my weight is just adding to my depression and I seriously hate myself for how I look.
[Discussion] Metabolism Boosts?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 16 10:22:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y0a52/metabolism_boosts/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] I had a dream where someone asked if I lost weight
/u/pershon17707 [5' 6'' | CW: 96 |Female]
Created: Fri Feb 16 10:22:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y09zd/i_had_a_dream_where_someone_asked_if_i_lost_weight/
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I'm not sure who exactly it was but I know it was a girl and it was in my room and I thought this whole thing was real for a while after I got up. So I'm already underweight so usually if anyone ever asked it would be out of concern. In my dream when this beautiful girl who hadn't seen me for a while asked "Have you lost weight?" I responded immediately "Oh you know, probably" and I remember immediately regretting saying that and I still had the same frustrated anxiety after I woke up. In reality I wouldn't say that but hey no one would ask anyway, either out of concern or curiosity. Whatever maybe it had something to do with the 2 full orders of Dominos cinnamon twists I ate before bed. Or the vodka, or the legit handful of melatonin I took...
[Rant/Rave] All too often, I wonder...
/u/doubleflipheart [SW - 70 kg ā£ļø CW - 57.5 kg ā£ļø GW - 45 kg]
Created: Fri Feb 16 10:09:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y06pf/all_too_often_i_wonder/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Progress Picture blues
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 16 10:03:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7y04z1/progress_picture_blues/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] sensory "flashbacks" while fasting
/u/SamPlaid [5'4" | CW: 115 |F ]
Created: Fri Feb 16 08:52:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xzlyw/sensory_flashbacks_while_fasting/
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does anyone else get these? i'll have gone a few days without eating when all of the sudden I'll taste mashed potatoes, or smell roasted chicken. torturous.
[Discussion] #JustEDthings Im jealous that i never faint no matter how much i restrict/fast.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 98.8 | 17.5 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 07:45:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xz5wi/justedthings_im_jealous_that_i_never_faint_no/
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Yup. Im stupid. fainting isnt fun, its scary and horrible! I've fainted a few times before (all from giving blood/getting blood drawn) and its the absolutely worst feeling. but just ONCE i wish i would faint from restricting so someone would notice im not okay and take me fucking seriously.
yaaay for dumb #EDthings. what are yours?
[Rant/Rave] Weighed myself, now I get to cancel my plans for the weekend.
/u/CorgiOrBread
Created: Fri Feb 16 07:31:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xz2wl/weighed_myself_now_i_get_to_cancel_my_plans_for/
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I was supposed to go to a party tonight and tomorrow I had Valentine's Day plans with my fiance but today I weighed myself for the first time in two weeks. I normally weigh myself on Saturdays but I did it a day early because I wanted to be free tonight and tomorrow to have fun without the pressure of a weigh in in the morning. Turns out that despite my efforts of trying to lose weight "the healthy way" for the past two weeks I have maintained the exact same weight. So now I get to cancel all of my plans for the weekend so I can lock myself in my room and avoid eating. Great. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
[Discussion] February 16th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 07:16:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xyzm0/february_16th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What was the last concert or performance you went to?
[Help] Exercising while fasting?
/u/counting-the-seconds [5'8" | 138lbs | 20.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 06:54:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xyumm/exercising_while_fasting/
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So I'm about 41 hours into a fast right now, and tbh I feel great. I went to the gym yesterday, which I assumed was fine (I got a little weak toward the end of my workout, but nothing too severe) and I usually go to the gym on Fridays too, but since I've gone so long without eating I'm wondering: is it still safe to exercise? I'm training for a 10k so I don't want to fall out of my routine by skipping today, but I also don't want to be passing out on the treadmill.
I don't want to break my fast because I finally broke out of the 140s today (updated my flair immediately because I was so excited) and I don't want to propel my weight back upward, but I also really don't want to ruin my routine because it's hard for me to get back into the habit of something once I stop it for even a day. Will I still be okay? Anyone here who routinely exercises while fasting?
[Rant/Rave] Ate a whole pizza and lost 2 pounds?
/u/giraffle9 [62in | CW 117 |GW 95 | 23F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 06:50:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xytye/ate_a_whole_pizza_and_lost_2_pounds/
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tl;dr: I ate a whole medium, papa john's pizza Wednesday night (didn't even feel full after but luckily did not binge more) and finally weigh 115 this morning after a week of 117!
I'm visiting my long distance boyfriend next week and last time he saw me I was in good shape! I'd kept up with lifting/the gym, ate "clean" and super low cal, you were starting to see my abs!!
I kind of let myself go and went on so many binges after he left but I've been getting myself back together. I'm still so scared of binging again but glad this one turned out ok! (not changing my flair until I weigh 115 tomorrow too!)
[Rant/Rave] When the universe speaks, listen!
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 05:16:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xych1/when_the_universe_speaks_listen/
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So Iāve gained what feels like a lot in 3 months of trying to get out of this hole. Surprisingly many days I like it and others I hate it. Iāve been trying to focus on athletic performance to fuel recovery.
I used to chew and spit daily. I stopped in October 2016 and for some reason in January decided to buy nuts again (nuts are the only food I chew and spit). Well we all know what happened. Iām now back to doing it at least 2 times a week and itās all the same - spending insane amounts wasting food, bloated, intense shame, gas. The universe has sent so many signs-1) my oldest dog seems to get really upset /concerned when I do it, he sits by my side and paws me incessantly 2) I went to clean up the gross mess last week and dropped it down the stairs, hmm disgusting chewed food everywhere and broken bowls 3) last night I again went to the store to get more nuts and got into a fender bender!!
I have to stop this again! Itās not even the fear of gain and bloating but the shame thatās the worst. I was feeling positive about recovery and now feel hopeless and just want to get this gained weight off.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! February 16, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 16 05:13:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xybyw/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
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This is the weekly picture thread for February 16, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 16, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 16 05:13:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xybxx/daily_food_diary_february_16_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for February 16, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Intro] I'm not "relapsing", but I am revisiting.
/u/coffeeanddietcoke
Created: Fri Feb 16 04:59:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xy9e2/im_not_relapsing_but_i_am_revisiting/
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[removed]
[Help] ISO the list of ways to prevent damage for those who purge?
/u/marmaladejar
Created: Fri Feb 16 04:42:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xy6v3/iso_the_list_of_ways_to_prevent_damage_for_those/
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I remember like a year ago someone posted a really helpful link for those who purge and it was stuff like: "don't brush after purging" "don't drink water and purge" etc. I'd really like to have it bookmarked again if someone has it. thanks!!
[Rant/Rave] housemates... (rambled rant)
/u/genuislab
Created: Fri Feb 16 04:25:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xy494/housemates_rambled_rant/
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In the past month I've noticed myself become more hyper aware of things in an assholey way.
I have two housemates at school that I'm on weird terms with. I'm "close" to them but also kind of dislike them. (Living with people can really alter the way you view someone...)
One has shit ability to filter what they say and is nosey... about **everything.**
I'll go out with them and the spew of hate comments never end...
"Wow that person's fat."
"I was talking to X the other day and they said it was rude of me to point out fat people in public." (mind you she was telling my friend that actually also struggles with her weight)
Both roommates are "skinny." One's probably about 105-110 lb range while the other is 120-125 lb range which is the person I just mentioned.
When I'm eating "safe" foods or refuse something she'll ask me every time: "Are you on a diet?? How long's that gonna last." And she sends me those stupid facebook memes about diets and how people who go on diets always fail.
Dont. *fucking.* comment. about. what. I. eat.
Something that peeves me lately is that they keep coming back home saying "Wow I ate so much today!!! I'm so full!!!!" LITERALLY every time they come back home as a starter conversation. Like why... for what......... and now lately they keep telling me that they haven't been eating at all lately:
"Yeah my appetite's just like gone! It's crazy. Sometimes .... *I won't even eat breakfast.*"
*gasp!!!!!* that's insane!!1!!!1! I haven't eaten all fucking day and I want to die so good for you.
And it's like 6 in the morning and because my room is literally the doorway to the kitchen I can hear them munching on cereal and I want to just disintegrate.
Why the fuck does an ed make you feel so petty and angry?! I'm so pissed all the time at these little things.
And lately they keep rubbing in my face that they don't *care* what they eat and don't care to track their food but oh at the same time they keep saying "I have to lose weight!!! I gained like 3 pounds!!!"
Now I'm in bitter petty mode and I've set my goal to absolutely surpass her in weight loss.
Also I have another friend that doesn't really know about my ed but we've tried to "lose" weight together like most friends do for accountability or whatever. they gave up in the beginning. And I get it... I've succumbed to so so so so many binge days. But they don't seem bothered by the fact that they gave up so easily and suddenly the asshole ed in me is fuming.
We hung out and they brought an entire pizza that was not planned. I was offered some and I refused immediately and watched them proceed to eat the entire box.
Writing all this made me feel a bit better but just validated how shitty and petty of a person I've become.
[Help] Angry with myself
/u/wild-ocean
Created: Fri Feb 16 04:19:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xy3dy/angry_with_myself/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Calorie retention after purging
/u/Aleph0-4 [155 cm | 42 kg | BMI 18.25 | 19F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 03:36:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xxwvp/calorie_retention_after_purging/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "It must be really hard for you to work with this'
/u/tjmacd
Created: Fri Feb 16 03:17:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xxu4r/it_must_be_really_hard_for_you_to_work_with_this/
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I moved to a new city a few months ago for work and finally got around to making an appointment for a psychiatrist here, first thing she ask is
"so you work as a chef?"
"Yes..."
"it must be really hard for you to work with this, being surrounded by food all day, making food that you don't eat. It must have been challenging for you to get where you are"
That angered me so bad and I don't even know why. My work has never been an issue for me but hearing someone saying that just made me question my whole career path and for the first time in 4 years I was full of doubt.
[Rant/Rave] Sex, fat, and feeling worthless
/u/krebsunicycle [5'7" | 118 lbs | 18.42 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 16 02:16:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xxlju/sex_fat_and_feeling_worthless/
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Today I couldn't stop tearing up. I feel like I'm watching myself go about my actions like I'm on autopilot.
I have a lot of sex; it's what I like to do. Recently it's been hard because I've gained some weight and I feel a lot less attractive even though I know logically I look like a normal person. I also noticed a painful, sketchy looking pimple on my vulva. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, but I'm so scared. I think I place a lot of my value in how sexually desirable I am. I've been so safe. I always use condoms. But right now I feel shameful and disgusting and fat.
Today I opened up my email to discovered I'd been rejected for a job. All of my friends are getting offers and interviews left and right. I feel so worthless and jealous. I know it's my fault because I don't try hard enough. I started crying in the middle of the computer lab at school.
It just feels like both my body and mind are worthless. It's been so hard to motivate myself to do anything right now. I just want to be valuable for something. I'm just a disappointing waste of my parent's money right now.
[Rant/Rave] I am too fucking disordered.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Feb 16 01:36:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xxg66/i_am_too_fucking_disordered/
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On mobile flair as rant or rave.
I spent over an hour eating a sugar free jello cup. It was small. I picked at it with a spoon while watching tv. I remember when I was in treatment we got times for snacks and meals; 15 min for snacks and 30 min for meals. I remember always quietly competing much to the dismay of staff with other patients; who could be the least interested in their food, who could take the smallest bites, who could take the longest. I remember be split up from some people because we would always be up to the mark on time.
I barely tasted the jello. It was meant to be a treat sort of. I am below my goal by a bit but still feel really bloated. I had a diet coke at a movie theater and I am convinced it made me bloated.
The taking for ever thing was both an accomplishment and a point of shame. I was going to take a couple things to work tomorrow to have measured snacks at work but I will have a coworker around cooking near me or just being there. I have all these safe foods but I am now scared of being judged for what, how much and how long I eat if I do..
I'm not feeling great.
W.
[Rant/Rave] Fuck's sake...
/u/Deviiation [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 23.68 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Fri Feb 16 01:36:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xxg2i/fucks_sake/
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I was losing weight pretty consistently. Down 7lbs in three weeks. I felt pretty good on it. Then the booze withdrawal racked up its daily torment and I've had two absolutely terrible days from boredom eating because it's all I've had the strength to do. Often I'm just sick in my mouth because I feel nauseous but, whatever's happening and why, I've gained all that weight back in two days. I had hoped it was water, but same this morning as the last two days. I'm exhausted and I never want to see food again.
Can I talk about "recovery" for a minute?
/u/Tinytidy
Created: Fri Feb 16 00:45:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xx92n/can_i_talk_about_recovery_for_a_minute/
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This is mostly a rant but I'm also asking for advise if any one here has any.
(Kind of like asking people at the bar how to quit drinking but I always loved how supportive and great this sub was so here goes.)
I'm about five/six weeks into recovery and I'm backsliding. Initially I started lifting more regularly and eating more regularly as part of my recovery, I wanted to learn to value my body for something other than its appearance. I also wanted to get stronger and more confident in my body's abilities.
So that meant lifting 3Ć per week. And eating enough protein. And enough calories in general.
I was also supposed to stuff tracking as much/ as strictly and relax about food. I had aspirations to think about stuff other than food and weight and body shape. To like develope hobbies.
Things are hard though. I'm not making progress on being less obsessive. I'm racked with guilt if I don't feel like I'm working out often enough. This week often enough has been at least 1.5 hours a day, with frequent double work out days. My diet is like 100% healthier, where I'm getting almost all my RDAs met on a daily basis and eating .64g protein per pound body weight on a mostly whole goods vegan diet.
So my obsession has definitely gotten less destructive but I'm getting more and more caught up in the numbers and the rules and it's sucking any chance of joy out of my life.
I also have a couple autoimmune diseases that are not tolerating the stress well at all. Everytime I move I creak. I'm achey all the time. And permanently exhausted with zero sex drive.
I want more out of life than this. But I don't know what to do. I already see a therapist and psychiatrist as often as my insurance allows though I'm not medicated because all the drugs I've tried make me binge til I'm suicidal.
I want out from under this illness. I want my head back. And I'm willing to work for it I just wish it wasn't so exhausting and hard. I wish I felt like I was getting better faster.
P.s. for everyone I knew on Peach: I miss you all and I hope things are going well for you.
Tl;dr: sad girl cries.
[Discussion] How does r/fasting work?
/u/glossboy
Created: Fri Feb 16 00:05:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xx36k/how_does_rfasting_work/
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I don't know if it's because I haven't eaten much today and my brain's literally off and dying but this community confuses me. I tried reading what the difference between "starving" and "fasting" was and I still don't get it. What do they do different that doesn't make it "starving?"
How are they doing this without literally dying.
[Rant/Rave] My dad is a huge trigger.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Feb 15 23:35:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xwycb/my_dad_is_a_huge_trigger/
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On mobile flair as rant rave please.
Both my parents are obese and I have been living with them because I kind of want off the deep end and had my life fall apart. I kind of blame a lot of my ED developing on them not really paying attention to me when I was growing up. I was neglected and physically and emotionally abused and seldom actually felt loved or cared for.
I get along with my parents as friends for the most part. My mother has given up gluten and been eating better. She seldom talks about it and is less explicit about her weight loss. I told both my parents when I got out of treatment thing a that could be triggering and for a month they did alright. Then thing a went back to normal. My dad criticizing people for being fat. My parents talking about caloriea and what they eat a lot.
My dad has been working out more and trying to eat better but the way he talks about things really is triggering and I just recently spoke up about it but I feel like I can't really advocate without seeming like I am super fragile or a snowflake.
He talked about fasting (intermittent fasting) and eating a couple meals a day. Hearing about him skipping meals or working out instead of eating lunch isn't helping me figure what normal is supposed to be like.
He talks about his fitbit a lot. I rigorously track my calories and steps on my phone but never tell anyone. He almost brags. (Look at how many calories I still have left/burned todat). He showed me today and it said he burned 3000 something calories and only consumed 1000 and said he was proud.
I am not mad at my dad for wanting to be healthy. I want him to be healthy I just feel like I am the wrong audience. I worry about my parents developing bad habits like me.
I also feel resentful and envious because my dad can eat more and sort of eat normally all while I restrict really low. He is a big guy and his TDEE with a deficit is 2400...i guess I am just upset because he can attempt to lose weight normally and I am really disordered..
W.
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone smash cookies/trigger foods when their parents buy it?
/u/crustyasscrack
Created: Thu Feb 15 23:33:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xwy3k/does_anyone_smash_cookiestrigger_foods_when_their/
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To be fair, my dad only buys them for me even though I've told him to stop. I pour water into the box and smash the cookies now and I feel pretty damn bad for it but ffs just fuck off with the snacks, you know?
[Rant/Rave] scale broken!?!? how long have i been mis-recording my weight?!?š±š±š±
/u/blackcoffeegreentea [5'9" | 151 | 22.3 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 23:10:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xwu8d/scale_broken_how_long_have_i_been_misrecording_my/
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tonight i was wanting a binge badly so i stepped on the scale to try to discourage myself... and i weighed 32lbs less than normal! so i stepped off & back on, and then it showed me 9lbs over what i expected! freaking out, i weighed myself 6 more times in a row, and every single time was different by 3 or more pounds. this scale is definitely fucked!!!
the question is, how long has it been giving me incorrect info? (i mean itās always been within a few pounds of what i expected before tonight, but what if the entire calibration is off? what if itās been getting more & more wacky over time, and iām actually completely different weight than i think?!?)
obviously going to buy a new scale tomorrow morning. feeling so anxious right now thoughā i have NO IDEA if my weight has been accurate til now or not. fuuuuuuuckš±
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend is more supportive that I ever expected and I feel so lucky
/u/cocochaichai
Created: Thu Feb 15 23:05:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xwtij/my_boyfriend_is_more_supportive_that_i_ever/
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Im just so happy right now. All the other times Iāve relapsed and itās been really bad Iāve had great friends to support me, but this time itās just so much different. My boyfriend knew I had a history with anorexia a long time ago and finally last week I told him I was having issues again, since then he has been absolutely amazing I wish Iād been able to tell him sooner. He doesnāt pressure me to eat, but he buys me food and then will just sit and cuddle with me while I nibble on it (occasionally while crying cuz god Iām a mess), and he just keeps telling me all the things he loves about me and how Iām perfect to him and gosh I just feel so loved and lucky. Iām honestly just so scared tho that heās going to get tired of putting up with all of this and hell leave...heās done absolutely nothing that should make me think that, it just scares me so much. Do any of you guys feel that way?
[Other] Awkward situations
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 23:03:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xwt43/awkward_situations/
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https://i.redd.it/49vkiogkmig01.png
[Discussion] Iām such a deeply compassionate person..... until one of my non-disordered friends goes on a diet
/u/sorenkierkegels
Created: Thu Feb 15 22:39:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xwp0v/im_such_a_deeply_compassionate_person_until_one/
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My roommate is doing keto right now (she has been trying and failing to do it since like November) and in the process sheās said and done a ton of things that have been so triggering for me. And like last fall when this started, I tried to have a talk with her about not talking to me about her diet (she knows about my ED) and she basically just shrugged it off.
At one point, I decided to do keto too because my dumb ED decided that it was a competition and I needed to eat fewer carbs than her. That resulted in me passing out at work lmao.
Anyways now Iām just bitter and I canāt wait to watch her fail again. Have fun forcing yourself to avoid your #1 food group, hoe. I bet you wonāt last the week. TBH itās really terrifying to me how cruel I can become when someone triggers my ED but I donāt know how to stop it.
Am I the worst person ever?
[Tip] Hot Tip: break up with your SO and then no one will notice when you starve yourself
/u/pixelstar [5'1.5 | CW: 96 - GW: 93]
Created: Thu Feb 15 21:54:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xwgqc/hot_tip_break_up_with_your_so_and_then_no_one/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] damn it
/u/appletreejuice
Created: Thu Feb 15 21:46:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xwfab/damn_it/
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[removed]
[Help] The neverending period (give me your insight, friends)
/u/sogyosha
Created: Thu Feb 15 21:46:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xwf92/the_neverending_period_give_me_your_insight/
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So I seem to have the opposite problem as most of you do, in that my period never fucking ends. I've had it since.... October? I don't even remember at this point. It seems to flare up or die down whenever I change my diet. It's more than just spotting but less than my usual flow. I'm on birth control but I have been forever so I really think it's because I relapsed.
Has anyone had this happen? What did you do? My doctor will be less than helpful (as usual) so I'm not sure that going to her could help.
[Tip] Tips on getting out of a binge cycle?
/u/life-isthebubbles
Created: Thu Feb 15 21:12:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xw8xr/tips_on_getting_out_of_a_binge_cycle/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] AMAZING TIP FOR EASY WEIGHT LOSS!!!11
/u/luaquiet [5'4" | 130 | 22.5 | f]
Created: Thu Feb 15 20:44:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xw3lf/amazing_tip_for_easy_weight_loss11/
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Have surgery that you undergo anesthesia for and develop a complication where a lot of things you used to like now taste terrible to you, even flavors that do taste good are overpowering, and your appetite is almost nonexistent!!
Bonus #1: You won't get to enjoy your birthday dinner because something you used to love now tastes disgusting!!!
Bonus #2: You now have no idea what will taste good or bad to you so it is extremely hard to make any plans that involve food!!!!!
Bonus #3: You can forget to eat for extended periods of time and not even realize until you get a terrible headache!!! And even then you won't want to eat because how overpowering flavors are now will just make your headache worse!!!
Bonus #4: Your misophonia increases too somehow???? So now you can't be around other people eating even if you are eating too!!! Unless there is a ton of background noise!!
Bonus #6: You can get really excited about a particular dish and start eating it and have to stop after a few bites because your system feels overwhelmed by it!! This is especially great when you really need to eat something because you keep almost passing out!!
Bonus #5: Only actual bonus...you will lose 8 lbs in 2 weeks even without exercise and you won't have to restrict or even feel hungry that whole time.
Just so it's totally clear, this is a joke, and having this complication from the surgery isn't actually good. Especially since the most common thing people lose their taste for from this complication is artificial sweetener, which I know a lot of you guys like. It tastes like rotten alcohol to me now.
....But do I like the weight loss that has resulted? I have to admit I do.
[Discussion] Taking about it is so embarrassing
/u/BluestNovember [5'4" | SW: 200+ lbs | CW: too high | BMI: under 40 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 20:23:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xvz9t/taking_about_it_is_so_embarrassing/
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I finally started going to a therapist who is treating my eating as an addiction. Talking to him about what I ate during a binge is so hard. Itās so embarrassing. Is it hard for you to talk about what you ate during a binge? I feel subhuman sometimes when Iām in the midst of a binge.
[Rant/Rave] I'm officially screwed.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 15 20:12:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xvx5c/im_officially_screwed/
---
I'm seeing my psychiatrist in a week. Last time, I was told that if I don't stop losing weight, I'll have to stop taking Adderall because of possible health risks. I've lost five pounds since then. I don't know how I'd be able to function without my meds (I'm barely managing to keep everything together as is), but that's beside the point. My family is still pretty much convinced that my weight loss and apparent lack of appetite is a side effect - at least that's what they want to believe. But I know that I won't be able to hide this anymore. If I can't manage to fake an extra 5 pounds, I'm screwed. They'll know.
I don't want to hurt my family by them finding out, but it'd hurt them so much more if I kept it a secret and got sicker. And yet I can barely bring myself to care because I'm too weak to ignore my stupid brain saying to be skinny, and care too much at the same time. I'm fucked no matter what happens.
[Help] Easy ways you guys take care of yourself after a bad day?
/u/finnkat
Created: Thu Feb 15 19:48:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xvs5e/easy_ways_you_guys_take_care_of_yourself_after_a/
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I feel like everything is going wrong at once. I can't stop binging and purging, I'm breaking out like crazy and my hands are all cracked, and now my depression is coming back so hard all I can do when I'm not b/ping is lay in my bed and think about dying. I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be ok but I don't have anyone. I just took a shower and washed my face but now even moisturizing seems like too much.I know this low cycle is going to end soon but in the meantime what are some things you guys can recommend I do to help take care of myself?
[Rant/Rave] Having a SO is really stressful
/u/virgocat [5'8" | eh| B&P| F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 19:33:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xvp1l/having_a_so_is_really_stressful/
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I had a bad breakup a few years ago and didn't date for a while.
I've been seeing a new guy for about 5 months now. He doesn't know about my ED and I don't really want to tell him.
But it's freaking me out so much.
-I hate being naked during sex. I feel really vulnerable and ugly.
-I get stressed out when he stays too long at my house. I get this rising urge to binge and when he's there overnight and wants to stay all day, my stress levels ramp up and I start getting secretly angry at him for preventing my binge behavior.
-he's really, really tall and skinny. Bones everywhere. I like his body but I feel like a fleshy blob next to him.
It's really starting to affect me negatively and I find myself wanting to make excuses not to see him so much because he's...well, interfering with my ED. I know that's messed up.
Anyone relate?
[Discussion] Is it F***ed up that all I can think is āMy foot looks fatā?
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 103 | 16.6 | GW: 98| 35/F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 19:20:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xvmag/is_it_fed_up_that_all_i_can_think_is_my_foot/
---
https://i.redd.it/3i6op11vihg01.jpg
[Discussion] Does anyone lose completely differently every time?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 19:15:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xvlcx/does_anyone_lose_completely_differently_every_time/
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I notice that every time I gain weight, when I lose it again itās from a different part of my body. For example, this time my chest bones are more prominent but my stomach hasnāt changed much, whereas it used to be my ribs would be the first thing to show. Iāve also become way more pear shaped than I was before. Wondering if this happens to everyone or just to me.
[Help] is there a good sub for posting after i binge when i hate myself
/u/lead-by-example
Created: Thu Feb 15 18:44:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xvemq/is_there_a_good_sub_for_posting_after_i_binge/
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[Rant/Rave] I think Im getting better. I wish you all well.
/u/skyofAuroras [5'10"| CW: 130 maintaining|19F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 17:39:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xv07w/i_think_im_getting_better_i_wish_you_all_well/
---
I think Im getting better at eating anyway. I actually eat most meals, Im starting to eat whatever I want without thinking about the calories, and i binge less. I still skip meals every once in a while, and some times I overeat (or I think Im overeating?), but my eating habits are stabilizing. My mental health is still shit and there's still this part of me that doesnt believe I'll be alive in a year, but Im working on it. Im trying to get the help I need. I dont want to go back to how I was. Its hard but I guess we'll see what happens. Whatever you guys are feeling I hope you all feel better some day so stay strong.
[Rant/Rave] I think my ED turned me into an aromatic asexual person.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Feb 15 17:22:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xuwe7/i_think_my_ed_turned_me_into_an_aromatic_asexual/
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On mobile flair as rant or rave or discussion is others want to chime in.
So prefacing this with I have a history of abusive relationships and physical sexual trauma so that may shape my perspective which might not all from my ED.
So I hate how I look and because I feel like I don't have "pretty privilege" my mind goes to the extreme that I must be very ugly..like an ogre. I don't get asked out or flirted with of special treatment like conventionally attractive people do. I think might also contribute to how and why I think and feel the way I do.
I don't really like sex. It is shameful and uncomfortable. I don't really like being touched or close to other people. Affection makes me uncomfortable. I pretty much hate when people are in my bubble.
I also just don't find a lot of people attractive. I don't think I am attractive but a part of my wants to think I am. I also don't really know what conventionally attractive is supposed to be.
I live in the United States where obesity and fat acceptance is also very prominent. I know I don't really find bigger people attractive because I just don't like how fat looks.
Oppositely I can't say I am really attractive to think people either because my disorder kind of forces me to see anyone else with one sort of as a challenge to my existance. I empathize a lot with WE and mental diagnosis people but I can't say I am attracted to the trait of the idea of a relationship.
I feel really disociated from my body in that bodily functions just make me uncomfortable. Coughing, breathing, using the bathroom, I associate a lot of pain with pleasure and punishment I purge and harm to punish and reward and to be in control. I feel like with purging, binging and restricting and fasting I seldom feel anything else that I actually like.
My ED pretty much makes me seek out the feelings associated with ed behaviors in a way that I down play sex, affection and relationship.
If I could have sex with any celebrity I wanted any time I wanted consenually ..
Or
Make any food magically zero or negative calories or always stay the same desired weight no matter how much I eat.
I would take the second one because I guess I am just addicted to the sensations of food more so than those of sex.
Eating is better than sex for me.
Tell me this isn't as fucked up as it sounds..
W.
[Help] Math and fitness apps, oh my
/u/lithewedding
Created: Thu Feb 15 17:19:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xuvjq/math_and_fitness_apps_oh_my/
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I feel like this is going to sound very dumb, but...
I initially figured my math by setting my daily caloric intake, which is currently slightly above 1,000 cal a day, and deducting the approx calories burned to see my deficit in hopes of weight loss.
So, my fitbit says I have walked five and a half miles so far today, and burned about 1600 cals. Doesn't that mean I was in a deficit of 600 calories today?
MFP says I have burned 1995 calories and have earned 77 calories (what does that mean?), and my iphone says 2,072.
I'm confused. Which app do you trust to ensure your intake is less than what you are burning by a certain amount?
Thank you in advance!
[Tip] best safe food! 50kcal per package, only $1.41 at target...... SUPER SUPER yummy and very filling
/u/nxlx
Created: Thu Feb 15 17:09:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xut7n/best_safe_food_50kcal_per_package_only_141_at/
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https://i.redd.it/3v4r0edlvgg01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] my first immediate thought when i have an alone evening: āi can finally eat whatever i want!!ā disgusting.
/u/ssetppoint
Created: Thu Feb 15 17:09:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xut4q/my_first_immediate_thought_when_i_have_an_alone/
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i live at home with no personal car post-graduation so i donāt get many āfreeā evenings where i get to do whatever i want or go wherever i want. tonight, i have a car and no one else in the house and i woke up thinking about what i was going to go out and buy for my daily meal, dreaming about allll the junk food i want.
then it just grossed me out; why am i so obsessed with food? normally i can stop myself from buying outside food under the guise of saving money and not eating āoutā because my parents arenāt, even though i eat my meals alone because i hate eating with others. and why am i so focused on this golden opportunity to binge or eat greasy, unhealthy things and spend money frivilously? i should be using this free time to fast in peace!! i always wish i could just not have to deal with people taking note of what i eat, but when i do get the chance, my first instinct is to consume everything.
ugh. anyways, reading everyone elseās diary logs is helping me distract myself. i hope youāre having a better day than me.
[Rant/Rave] Hair is so thin š
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Thu Feb 15 17:04:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xus42/hair_is_so_thin/
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I hate the way I look. Not only do I hate my body, I hate my hair, the one thing that always allowed me to express myself. I loved adding in manic panic colors, purple, red over brown hair mostly. My hair is breaking off falling out and just vile.
I wear clip in extensions everyday when I bought a nice set a few months ago because of how bad it is. Everyone thinks they are just natural which is good. Itās hard to blend but I do have a little regrowth here and there ughhhhh.
Everyday when I come home from work and take them out I forget that Iām really a disgusting creature. I have sooo little hair. I hate this life.
[Rant/Rave] When people notice
/u/sadveggiehead [5ā5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 16:58:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xuqq0/when_people_notice/
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I have been feeling very upset for the past month since Iāve been neglecting my eating habits and I have been plateaued at 135 for these 4 weeks. I went from 155 to 135 and have just been sitting here maintaining which I hate. But today (just three days after I started restricting again) I got asked āHave you been loosing weight?ā From a coworker I donāt see often. I felt like I was on CLOUD NINE!!!
[Help] Is milk of magnesia a āsafeā laxative to use while restricting?
/u/vitalogy95 [5'5" | CW: 155 | BMI: 25.79 | GW: 115 | HW: 176]
Created: Thu Feb 15 16:43:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xun9x/is_milk_of_magnesia_a_safe_laxative_to_use_while/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I wish restricting wasn't so damn encouraging
/u/manateens [5'4 20F | 154 / UGW 98 | BMI27]
Created: Thu Feb 15 16:25:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xuiyx/i_wish_restricting_wasnt_so_damn_encouraging/
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I wish fasting wasn't so productive
I wish starvation mode was real and fasting causes slow weight loss
I wish that fastest and most effective weight loss really was just eating 20% below TDEE
I wish fasting didn't break my plataues so easily
I wish being healthy meant being thin
[Help] Constantly feel like fainting??
/u/alexxxxis [5'9 | CW:129 | BMI: 19.2 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 16:05:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xuecb/constantly_feel_like_fainting/
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As of recently Iāve been eating around maintenance and stopped purging because I felt so lightheaded all the time like I was always on the verge of fainting, I also got really sharp chest pains after purging so I stopped cold turkey. Anyways, even though Iāve been eating enough (sometimes probably more than enough), I still feel lightheaded and like Iām going to faint all the time. Could there be something wrong with me or does it take a while for your body to adjust (so far itās been about a week). What should I do?
[Help] Considering liposuction
/u/vulturepants [5'5 | SW: 175 | CW: still too much | GW: 120]
Created: Thu Feb 15 16:03:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xudwb/considering_liposuction/
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i've posted on here in great detail before about how much i hate my body, so i won't get into that now. my worst areas are my stomach/muffin top and thighs.
i know lipo is really expensive, i think what i would want to get would be like $8,000. but i'm starting to feel like i have no other options. i know that if i do get lipo, i WILL have the willpower and motivation to take care of my body. i know i can do it, it's just getting there that's the hard part. and i'm impatient, obviously.
so i guess my question is, does anyone have experience (personal or tangentially) with lipo? is it worth the money?
i would prefer a gastric sleeve/bypass over lipo because i know it would be more likely to be permanent, but it's even more expensive and i don't think they'll do it unless you're something like 100+ lbs overweight.
[Other] Not seeing my significant other for 4 days unintentionally started me on a fast
/u/counting-the-seconds [5'8" | 138lbs | 20.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 16:01:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xud78/not_seeing_my_significant_other_for_4_days/
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I don't do well when I'm alone, and I've been teetering on the verge of "better" for a little bit, but as soon as he left for school this week (and didn't come back because he's staying with a friend on campus) I got some pretty nasty intrusive thoughts and I've successfully convinced myself he doesn't want me anymore, I haven't eaten since yesterday morning (and what I did eat, I purged), I skipped all my classes, I self harmed for the first time in 4 years (which I'm definitely not proud of), and I haven't been able to sleep.
Jfc why am I like this? It's not like he said, "Fuck you," and left. He just...had shit to handle and I feel abandoned but there's absolutely no reason for me too.
[Rant/Rave] triggering myself with grindr
/u/CaffeineFraternity
Created: Thu Feb 15 15:58:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xucg1/triggering_myself_with_grindr/
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[I know this only applies to 10% of the proED population but w/e]
I canāt imagine a world where I actually bring a guy over / meet up with one, but every night when Iām getting hungry I log back in to Grindr and let the self fury stop me from binging. āLook what you could be doing if you werenāt fucking disgustingā
It usually works, but Iām afraid eventually Iāll get burned out by it and itāll just make me want to eat.
[Rant/Rave] always just uncomfortable
/u/glossboy
Created: Thu Feb 15 15:53:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xubaq/always_just_uncomfortable/
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Why does this entire world revolve around eating all the time. Why can't we just do things without having to eat something on the side.
How many times do I have to make the excuse "Oh god yeah sorry I ended up eating this huge meal beforehand" when I go out to catch up with friends or my parents.
How many times am I gonna be in that situation where people think they can dictate what I really want by force-feeding me their food. "It's okay just try it it's good." Thanks but not fucking thanks. Please... for the love of god I wish people stopped doing this. No I don't want a bite of your greasy wonderfully delicious meal.
I went to 711 today to pick up two diet sodas and I felt so self-conscious about it. I read a post once where we tend to hyper-fixate on what other people eat but in reality no one can really tell that my eating is disordered unless they had an ed.
Also random but does anyone count their walking steps as exercise? I don't have any energy to do an actual workout. But I'm trying to reach my 10k steps a day around campus.
[Discussion] TW!!! "EATING LUNCH (Ćta Lunch)", a short fictional video on people in recovery eat lunch. Do you feel like you can relate?
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6" | 112 | -20 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 15:37:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xu7eh/tw_eating_lunch_Ƥta_lunch_a_short_fictional_video/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfZc5osZ2xU
[Other] [humor] Create your own happiness.
/u/CorgiOrBread
Created: Thu Feb 15 15:18:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xu2pf/humor_create_your_own_happiness/
---
https://imgur.com/a/00uV3
[Rant/Rave] fuck
/u/vermillionorange
Created: Thu Feb 15 14:53:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xtw9a/fuck/
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I work at a hospital and I had to change scrubs today and this lady told me "make sure I get the small ones because I look skinny." Yes I picked up those nice, baggy mediums and wore what I wanted. I also had to take care of someone today who was much smaller than me and it triggered me to binge when I got home. What is wrong with me.
[Discussion] if you could only eat 2 foods for the rest of your life what would they be?
/u/reallysmallsnail [5'7 | cw: 144 | gw: tiny | 22.5 | f |]
Created: Thu Feb 15 14:19:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xtngb/if_you_could_only_eat_2_foods_for_the_rest_of/
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mine are roasted seaweed snacks and passionfruit LaCroix holy moly they are such satisfying snacks!
~~except then what would i c/s lol~~
[Help] going to a restaurant without calorie counts for my birthday
/u/fortunate-foolx [62 in. | CW:whale | GW: feather | -13 | 18F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 14:17:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xtmxx/going_to_a_restaurant_without_calorie_counts_for/
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i want to enjoy my birthday but i donāt want to eat a shitload of calories. how would i estimate? Iām going to Dicks Last Resort and iām getting crab cakes bc it seems the safest to me without sending off alarm bells to my parents (struggled w ed in the past) but idk. sorry if this is shitty of me
[Rant/Rave] Trainspotting 2
/u/trappedinaclub
Created: Thu Feb 15 14:15:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xtme3/trainspotting_2/
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Sorry if these seems like an odd post, but Iļø finally got around to watching Trainspotting 2 last night, and oddly enough drew parallels between my own struggles with binge eating and this film, which centers around a bunch of heroine addicts. Just to give some background, the main character, Mark Renton, has been 20 years sober and has just recently gotten back into contact with his old friend, Spud.
Spud tells Renton he needs to āDetox the systemā and Renton says, āDetox the system ā what does that even mean? It doesnāt mean anything. Itās not getting it out of your body thatās the problem, itās getting it out of your mind.ā
Iļø binge and Iļø try to get it out of my system immediately. But the root of the problem isnāt the food coursing my digestive system at any given moment but my fixation on food in general.
Renton then tells Spud, āYou are an addict. If youāre going to be addicted, be addicted to something else...Youāve got to channel it. Youāve got to control it.ā
This hit me. Iļøm addicted to food, and Iļø need to control it. Iļø have outlets to control it, now Iļøm really truly going to use them. Iām not just going to dabble in writing or piano or filmmaking or running anymore. Iļøm going to be addicted to it because being addicted to food has given me nothing but problems.
[Rant/Rave] Am I driving the insanity train or is it taking me for a ride? Regardless, alllll aboard.
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: IDK, TOO MUCH| GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 13:21:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xt86h/am_i_driving_the_insanity_train_or_is_it_taking/
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Hello fellow beautiful, troubled people. I think I have finally reached some kind of crossroads and I am making a few decisions that I would love an outside perspective on. I have been dawdling in recovery limbo for far too long and take it from me, it is a painful place to exist. Every action is guilt-ridden because I am breaking my ed rules, or because I am not behaving in a 'recovered' way. This self loathing shit show is turning a new leaf. I ordered a new scale, I'm hiding my weed from myself (it makes me binge but its the only thing that helps me manage my anxiety) and I'm sticking to my fucking word this time. I can't exist in this body, I feel like my skin is crawling, like I'm constantly wearing a fat suit. I look in the mirror and I don't see myself, I see a fat, lazy, depressed mess. I want to feel clean, ethereal, light, and in control. I want to feel effortless and airy, floating around the world with a secret in my back pocket and a sense of power. I am hoping ordering the scale will be the kick I need to stay on track. Im also getting my tonsils out soon which I'm hoping helps me lose weight hehe Does anyone have any other advice on not bingeing/ not losing focus?
Update: Now crying because I don't trust myself to not fuck things up :(
[Discussion] DAE lie about health problems to hide or mask ED behaviors?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Feb 15 13:14:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xt6cw/dae_lie_about_health_problems_to_hide_or_mask_ed/
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On mobile flair as discussion please
I feel bad about lying but I think a lie is better than dealing with judgement people might pass on me for being fucked up in the head. I pretty much just tell people I have lots health issues that make eating difficult which I guess is a half truth I guess.
Among the lies I tell.
I am allergic to xyz
I have a digestive diagnosis (crohns, ciliac , lactose intolerant)
I am diabetic and sensitive to carbs and sugars.
I guess maybe not that much but it feels like people are more sympathetic to health and physical diagnosises than mental ones.
[Other] Reminder that this is not a diet/motivation sub. Posts asking if X amount of weight can be lost in X days are not allowed.
/u/daeboo [5ft1.5 | chubby bunny 18F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 13:11:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xt5m4/reminder_that_this_is_not_a_dietmotivation_sub/
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>An eating disorder is a serious mental illness.
It IS NOT a lifestyle choice.
It IS NOT a diet.
This IS NOT a dieting subreddit.
Users treating this sub as such will have their posts and comments removed.
[Help] What should I drink!?
/u/somewhatsub [5'1" | CW 132 | BMI 25.1 | GW 100 | HW 142]
Created: Thu Feb 15 13:08:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xt4ob/what_should_i_drink/
---
Hey everyone!
Iām going out to a bar with my friends tonight and Iām super nervous. I donāt know them that well so I donāt want to stand out.
Do you guys have any low calorie suggestions? If I just get a water theyāll definitely notice. I canāt drink anything fizzy so if there is something low in calories that looks like alcohol (or contains alcohol) Iād love to know
[Discussion] 5 kg in 15 days
/u/gabebega
Created: Thu Feb 15 13:05:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xt3xn/5_kg_in_15_days/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Injured and can't run
/u/lalafriday [5'5" | CW 137 | F33]
Created: Thu Feb 15 12:57:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xt1tl/injured_and_cant_run/
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Ya I gained about 5 lbs. I'm still using the elliptical and whatnot but does that help? Nooooo. I'm going crazy. I have this weird sensory thing wear clothing, especially pants, feel like their burning my skin. It has been better since I got on anxiety meds but not that I feel like my thighs are fatter, I can't seem to ignore the feeling.
It's making me want to kill myself. I have achilles tendinitis and it doesn't want to go away and I feel like I'll never be able to run again like I used to.
am i counting wrong or is this normal??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 15 12:39:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xsx3d/am_i_counting_wrong_or_is_this_normal/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xsx3d/am_i_counting_wrong_or_is_this_normal/
[Discussion] DAE hate their body shape not size?
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Thu Feb 15 12:23:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xsssf/dae_hate_their_body_shape_not_size/
---
Iāll never be satisfied with my size because I hate the shape of my body. I wish I had larger hips but if I gain weight it goes everywhere not just my hips. I wish I carried my weight on my lower body and had slim arms and a small waist. I have an hourglass shape when Iām heavier but still have too much in the stomach for my taste. So I tried to lose weight to make my stomach smaller and ended up losing weight all over. Now my stomach is small but my hips are small too.
[Rant/Rave] I've had an ED for half of my life but I've never been skinny. I know it's illogical but I tell myself I suck at life so hard, I even "fail at having a mental illness"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 15 12:03:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xsncd/ive_had_an_ed_for_half_of_my_life_but_ive_never/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Do you chew and spit, and do you count calories anyway?
/u/sogyosha
Created: Thu Feb 15 11:34:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xsfll/do_you_chew_and_spit_and_do_you_count_calories/
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I only occasionally chew and spit, but when I do it I always worry that I'm getting a ton of calories from the food still left in my mouth.
Do you guys count these calories or have a rule for it like "5 calories per bite," or is it really just a negligible amount? I wanna come to a consensus so I can stop freaking out over it.
[Discussion] best apps?
/u/tenamzobo
Created: Thu Feb 15 10:52:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xs41j/best_apps/
---
what are your favorite apps for ed? i use peach, vora, lose it and human. are there any other good ones i should know about?
[Rant/Rave] Fuck that barista (you know the one)
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 132.5 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.7 | F21]
Created: Thu Feb 15 10:39:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xs0rk/fuck_that_barista_you_know_the_one/
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The one who takes one look at you and thinks "I'm gonna give this bitch the full-sugar vanilla instead of the sugarfree one that she asked for." Like, I could've been diabetic for all you know! And now I gotta spend the rest of the day wondering which syrup I got in my coffee, and whether or not I consumed more calories than I planned on doing! UGH
[Rant/Rave] Food Waste vs. Restriction
/u/fluffyfinaland [5'6"| CW 151.8 | GW 120 | -20.2 | 21F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 10:35:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xrzny/food_waste_vs_restriction/
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Do you guys ever have the struggle of whether to waste food or restrict? I feel so guilty throwing away perfectly good food so I usually stick to non-perishables so I donāt have to decide whether to restrict or toss food.
I have a container of minestrone from Olive Garden in the fridge and itās been there about a week so Iām starting to feel like itās time to do ~something~ about it. Iām really not in the mood to eat so I donāt want to force it, but Iāll feel terrible if I dump it for āno reasonā.
[Help] Water weight or gaining?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 15 10:28:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xrxr0/water_weight_or_gaining/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xrxr0/water_weight_or_gaining/
[Discussion] Relatable Song Thread
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1|CW 200|GW 110|-20|22/M]
Created: Thu Feb 15 10:27:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xrxit/relatable_song_thread/
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Hey friends, does anyone have a song that's particularly relatable to them? I have certain songs I listen to when I'm feeling some type of way (especially restricting mode). One of mine is Rawks by K.Flay. Drop your favorite relevant songs below if you want :)
[Other] I made some tomato rice and sprinkled some cucumber and pepper on top
/u/wholeandsimple
Created: Thu Feb 15 09:56:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xrotd/i_made_some_tomato_rice_and_sprinkled_some/
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https://i.redd.it/jv6shyu8qeg01.jpg
[Tip] i made vegan skinny taste bagels and they just tasted like bread AMA!!
/u/indogyearsimdead [āØ 5'5" | 103 | 17.1 | -51 | FāØ]
Created: Thu Feb 15 09:29:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xrhru/i_made_vegan_skinny_taste_bagels_and_they_just/
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http://imgur.com/IjzdbUG
Body check
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 15 09:21:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xrflf/body_check/
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https://i.redd.it/ifilrczzjeg01.jpg
[Help] Donāt know how to go about this situation
/u/Hiyoheyyo
Created: Thu Feb 15 09:18:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xrf0s/dont_know_how_to_go_about_this_situation/
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My best friend told me I need to get help or we canāt be friends. My ED has relapsed this past month and has caused me to be extremely irritable and has caused me to get into frequent arguments with my best friends. This lead her to saying itās turning toxic, me breaking down and telling her Iāve relapsed and her ultimately telling me to get help or we canāt be friends. I donāt know how to go about the situation. I feel really shitty about it cause I seem to always fuck things up. But also donāt know if thatās a shitty thing for her to do, making me decide. I donāt know. Any help and advice would be extremely helpful and appreciated!
[Rant/Rave] Caution: Vanity rant ahead!
/u/gayishfish [5'7" | CW: embarrassing | BMI: high | -9 lbs | 23F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 08:06:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xqx8k/caution_vanity_rant_ahead/
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I want to be skinny. Not just like meh, skinny ish. I want to be objectively skinny from the perspective of all cultures. I want to go anywhere and have anyone think that I'm thin. In America, people think average is skinny while that "average" might be seen as heavy in the eyes of some Asian cultures. (I am not trying to make this a race thing, i promise! Please don't take offense! I'm just making a blanket statement that might not be true for everybody, only as a contrary to American culture.) Anywho.....it's not even about trying to look good. I don't care if I look good I just want to be thin. I already know I look like shit. But I want to look like skinny shit. I'm not good at anything; I'm not smart, I don't have a nice job, I wasn't born into a wealthy family, I have no skills. The only thing I might be good at is being skinny, that's why I need it. The smaller I am, the more I'm worth, right?
Gosh, sorry for the sickly ranting. Feeling worthless lately š„
[Help] Do I have an ED?
/u/belladonnaaa
Created: Thu Feb 15 08:01:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xqvzs/do_i_have_an_ed/
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I am not self conscious about my weight, if anything I want to gain weight. But took medication that lowered my appetite last year and even though I'm off them now I can't eat. I usually don't feel hungry, I just feel weak and a bit nauseous most of the time. Sometimes I get this absolutely excruciating pain in my stomach and my mouth starts watering so much and I literally feel like I'm starving to death, but I can't bring myself to eat because I can't have anything inside my stomach without feeling like I'm going to throw up. Sometimes I'll barely eat for days because I hate my stomach not being empty. I'm 5'3" and in October I was 114 lbs but now I'm at 98. People are getting concerned about me being anorexic but I'm not trying to lose weight and I don't want to it just happens. I've tried switching medication but now I've already gotten into the habit of starving myself and I can't eat anymore without my stomach churning and it's making my depression even worse. Can anyone who's experienced an ED help me?
Edit: Thanks for all the responses; I probably sound like a crybaby compared to anyone who's suffered from an actual eating disorder but your support makes me feel a lot better about my situation. <3
[Other] My new breakfast Frankenstein. One extra thick rice cake, 20g of Chobani Greek Yogurt, and exactly 12 grapes. 103 calories
/u/PM-ME-ROAST-BEEF
Created: Thu Feb 15 07:50:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xqtq0/my_new_breakfast_frankenstein_one_extra_thick/
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https://i.redd.it/nwpir1mu3eg01.jpg
[Intro] constantly nauseous?
/u/takayl [5'10 | 178 | 25 | -20 | 18F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 07:37:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xqqlu/constantly_nauseous/
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hi, i honestly don't even know if this is ED-related since i'm not underweight and don't purge (in the traditional sense) but i've been feeling really nauseous ALL THE TIME lately. it gets sooo much worse when i fast too, like i have to quit my fast because i think i'm going to throw up all the time even if i havent eaten for like two or three days. also, i have a huge fear of vomiting which makes this even worse since i cant even make the nausea go away by throwing up :( just looking for anyone with the same issue or whos dealt with this and had it go away?
[Discussion] Pros and cons of having a scale/weighing yourself constantly?
/u/strawstring [Height 5'10 | CW :( | -76lbs | 20F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 06:20:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xqap2/pros_and_cons_of_having_a_scaleweighing_yourself/
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Hi guys! I know that for a lot of us if there is a scale available, you can bet we'll weigh ourselves at least once a day (if not every few hours). From reading a bit it seems like some use measurements instead or potentially have a weigh-in day once a week.
Personally, I would weigh myself at least once a day at home - unless I had a bad night before and then avoided the scale like the plague - and I felt like if it was a bit lower I would either feel validated and eat more normally or become motivated and continue to restrict whereas if I gained I'd be super upset and it would counterintuitively lead to more b/p cycles. Now I am completely without access to scale, and I wake up everyday completely obsessed with knowing where I'm at, so I'm thinking of buying one. But somedays I also just feel thinner which is nice, or think that not knowing is causing me to be more careful with restricting in order to not accidentally gain 50000 lbs.
Sorry if this makes zero sense... ultimately the question is: What are your weighing/measuring habits, and when do you notice you feel the best or tend to gain/maintain/lose if those habits change?
[Rant/Rave] 35 pounds later
/u/abathroomscale [5'4" | 125 | 21.5 | -35 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 05:39:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xq33h/35_pounds_later/
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i moved into a high school far away from my home, where nobody knows my name. i tried to change myself. i tried to style my hair everyday. i tried to pay attention to my looks. i tried to be pretty.
but pounds of fat were still hindering what's inside. i wasn't obese, but i was overweight. but i was still considered fat in society's standards.
friends called me fat. family asked me to lose weight.
and so i did. unhealthily. i became so obsessed with food yet i didn't want to eat them. i cried over them so many times. i get tons of fainting spells. i missed my period.
35 pounds later, they say i look skinnier. 35 pounds later, they ask what is my diet.
35 pounds later, i still see the fat me in the mirror.
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support February 15, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 15 05:11:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xpya3/weekly_emotional_support_february_15_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 15, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 15 05:10:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xpy2t/daily_food_diary_february_15_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 15, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] started to binge last night, *then managed to stop myself!!* first time iāve ever quit a binge successfully!!
/u/blackcoffeegreentea [5'9" | 151 | 22.3 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 05:02:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xpwqd/started_to_binge_last_night_then_managed_to_stop/
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i started restricting this week, & after a good day, i couldnāt sleep last night, just kept obsessing over food. i also had to pee every 10 mins from all the water/tea iād been drinking to fill up all day, so sleep wasnāt going to happen either way.
after tossing & turning & torturing myself over it for three hours, that binge craze finally won at 2amā BUT, instead of my usual go-to of eating til iām sick, i chose to first finish my leftover cabbage soup (around 60cals for a big bowl), then had one sugarfree pudding snackpack with some powdered PB sprinkled in (80cals), then two cherry cordials (150cals). THEN I STOPPED!!!! i have NEVER started a binge, then stopped myself at a reasonable (read: less than 5,000cals) amount!!!! a 300cal ābingeā is unheard of for me!!
-
-
so, i didnāt meet my original plan, which sucks a little, but i was still far under my TDEE. waking up this morning i donāt feel absolutely shitty the way i usually do after a binge. i would even say yesterday was still a pretty ok day food-wise.
today iām aiming for a slightly higher intake than yesterdayās goal, to see if i can get a better sleep at the end of the day because iām definitely shit tired today... BUT, i donāt want to go jump off a bridge because of my actions last night, which feels huge & awesome!
just wanted to share my small victory!!
ā¤ļø
[Rant/Rave] Made a peach cause insomnia.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Feb 15 04:37:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xpsrz/made_a_peach_cause_insomnia/
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On mobile flair as some thing appropriate. I hope this isn't too low effort.
I searched the megathread and added some point, Sorry?
Add me or don't thats cool.
Willthemurmurer
[Help] do you guys still use social media (facebook, snapchat etc)?
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Thu Feb 15 04:36:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xpspf/do_you_guys_still_use_social_media_facebook/
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I'm thinking quitting because I just stalk way too much...My instagram is full of skinny models or my "friends" bragging about their life and how happy they are. I really just want a break from all this comparing...
[Discussion] February 15th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 15 04:31:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xprzi/february_15th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What is the cure for a broken heart?
Having a psychotic break and wanting to stab everyone around me and hiding out for hours in a stairwell and being manic yet severely depressed and no meds work ahahahah but Iām better now.
[Help] my peach is pretty empty
/u/isaezraa
Created: Thu Feb 15 03:52:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xpm3d/my_peach_is_pretty_empty/
---
hey so my user is isaezra and im pretty new to peach so add me if ya want too :)
[Rant/Rave] I am a nerd and ED tendencies go hand in hand with OCD
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Feb 15 03:34:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xpjir/i_am_a_nerd_and_ed_tendencies_go_hand_in_hand/
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On mobile flair as rant or rave.
I was tested for OCD when I was in treatment because it can be comorbid with EDs. I was just below the line but some says I feel like I definately walk the thin line. I am obsessed with numbers. I believe some numbers are good and some are bad. I believe in bad colors too. Some textures really bother me but that might be unrelated to OCD.
Counting calories and restricting from a young age was a diversion from healthy decisions people wanted me to make. I take things to the extreme.
They told me to eat less. So I cut out most meals. Eating once a day, I got so tired I was passing out at school.
They told me to move more and excersise. So I biked 10 miles a day and walked round trip to school 6 miles every day and on weekends. I also went to gym at my parents apartment for 2 hours a day.
Restricting gave my control beyond just a deficit normal people create. I wanted less than less. I wanted to prove I needed less and I wanted my body to know it didn't deserve more than what I gave it. That it didn't deserve anything and that being fed was a gift.
Knowing the rigid thinking I suffer just makes me upset. It's a knot I can't untie. Buttons that can't be unpressed. I wantvto recover some day. Today is not that day.
I am in stomach pain even though I ate yesterday. I'm bothered at the amount I consumed. Still a number but like a successful drug dealer I want the amounts to be skimmed even more. Where does the line get drawn?
I feel like I am going to low but anxiety and fear of my body is keeping in this bondage. I feel like going over my low bar will open binge gates or that I will just blow up back to almost 300 pounds like when I was a preteen. I don't even know if I'll ever get back to my lw or my gw. And if I do will I maintain it?
I'm insecure and I am vaine. I hate how I look but I still think about it a lot . I feel invisible to the world like a ghost because I am the average on the outside. Besides how I present which is pretty queer and alternative but I am not where I want to be on the statistical spectrum. I need to take less, space, food, resources, time, everything.
I need to be less. I need to be the nothing that I feel like.
Sorry this post is kind of gloomy. Just really needed to get this out before I sleep.
On a positive note I may have figures out an east way to choose my foods on a given day that is sort of a bastardized modification is a system I learned in treatment.
In treatment at ERC. We had to complete menus weekly and choose foods and we were assigned snack levels. There was A, B, C and D. It was meant to remove calorie counting as we were forbidden to talk about calories, a reprimanable offence. I didn't take long to figure out A snacks were smaller and the higher levels were more caloric. It was a range.
Random but I am reminded when I had a nervous breakdown and cried when I was forced to eat a Snickers bar.
So my system is to assign groups to my different foods and just allow myself a ration of sorts for a day. The system with collorate with how many calories in an item compared to how many in others. I guess sort of like a self prescribed ED treatment/WE point system. Now that I think of it I think I just copied weight watchers and my ED treatment center did too..
Funny
So yeah that's all my ramblings for the night. Time to pass out.
Stay lovely y'all.
W.
[Help] Is bmi 16 really that low?
/u/MellowKittyCat [170|CW:š³|GW:45|BMI:17|Atypical Ana]
Created: Thu Feb 15 03:25:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xpi6i/is_bmi_16_really_that_low/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] It's been 1 year since relapsing and I'm worse than ever
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 15 01:19:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xp2nl/its_been_1_year_since_relapsing_and_im_worse_than/
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[deleted]
[Other] Successful valentines night out
/u/littlelonelyginge [5'7" | 163lbs | 25.2 | -5lbs | F 25]
Created: Thu Feb 15 00:46:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xoy5x/successful_valentines_night_out/
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I'm pretty new to this sub and only just slipped back into bad ways over the past weekend. I had been fasting since Saturday because I knew I was going out for a dinner on valentines with my bf. WELL I successfully managed to control myself and not crazy binge like I would have in the past.
Weighed myself this morning and was ready to have gone up 2/3 lbs (I had a few beers too) but I only went up 0.9lbs! So I'm happy I can jump back on this and lower that back down again nice and fast!
Ps hello everyone š
[Other] Didnāt binge for the first time in months
/u/toselx
Created: Thu Feb 15 00:14:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xotpc/didnt_binge_for_the_first_time_in_months/
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Iāve been binging every single day since the Christmas period. Itās so hard to stop and I havenāt been able to check my exact weight but Iāve probably gained 8kg just in the last few months. Iām super self-conscious and Iāve just hating myself, and unable to do anything productive. But I didnāt binge yesterday and I just felt so much better both physically and mentally this morning. I just wanted to share this small victory with you guys š itās helped me a lot since discovering this sub that Iām not alone in this ā¤ļø
[Rant/Rave] I went shopping and didn't panic. I sort of enjoyed It? Like a normal person..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Feb 14 23:49:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xopu0/i_went_shopping_and_didnt_panic_i_sort_of_enjoyed/
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Not sure how to flair on mobile this might be a success type thing or just a rant or rave cause it's me.
I walked to the store to get a thing or two because I know I can't fast forever so I wanted some safe foods to have around. I have looked around at two different groceries stores today and spent too much time comparing brands and calories. I had a mental check list of things I wouls enjoy having and a good idea of what range I wanted to stay within for low restricting.
I won't say exact numbers but if anyone wants to know pm me. I don't want to trigger anyone.
I found the things I liked and sort of has a mental image of even eating some of the things. I have to work three long days this weekend and so I planned things that are pre portioned and measured that I can just scan with my phone to log. I feel like I can actually go back to low restricting.
I had a two to three week streak of keeping under a certain amount and feel like I can do it again.
My mistake before was sticking to things I didn't necessarily like but that I knew were safe, raw veggies pretty much. I picked some things this time that I could intermingle with raw veggies so I have some variety.
If anyone is curious of what I got I will list below. Otherwise thank you for reading and being wonderful. I had a rough say a few days ago and I think part of it was from fasting and being emotional and also feeling really distressed in life.
I hope everyone had a good day. You are all lovely.
W <3
Grocery haul:
Cucumber
Green pepper
Celery
Baby carrots
Unsweetened apple sauce cups
Sugar free chocolate pudding
Low fat yogurts in a variety of flavors
Laughing cow baby bells
Veggie thins crackers
Smart pop low cal popcorn
Hot sauce, sriracha and Frank's red hot
Granola bars variety box
I am brain storming other stuff to get but this is a good start and I don't feel like any of these are binge trigger foods. I am sort of excited to try just eating and hopefully scale things up when I get closer to my gw and ugw.
Thanks again whoever reads this.
[Rant/Rave] Hard to purge in dorm
/u/fernsandfoxes [5ā6ā | CW:123 | BMI:19.93 | GW:110 | 18F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 23:23:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xoltm/hard_to_purge_in_dorm/
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My dorm is set up really weirdly so that the toilet and shower are separate. I can get away with purging if my roommates arenāt there but the walls are super thin and I canāt purge in the shower cause it will clog. Iāve used the excuse that I was sick before but they are going to get suspicious if I keep saying that. I feel trapped. Anyone else in a similar situation?
Edit: Thanks for all the responses everyone!
[Help] Fuck me
/u/PainlessMe [17F | 1.75 | CW: 61.1 | GW: 50 | SW: 70.1]
Created: Wed Feb 14 23:09:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xojlp/fuck_me/
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[removed]
[Help] Everything is falling apart, alarmingly, I feel nothing.
/u/qncg
Created: Wed Feb 14 22:35:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xodxy/everything_is_falling_apart_alarmingly_i_feel/
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So, I have vacillated between straight anorexia and EDNOS forever. I have obsessive compulsive disorder in the least convenient way, meaning that I don't clean and I'm not type A, just crazy. I work with kids at a residential treatment facility, and some recent stress at work sent me into a tailspin, I lost twenty eight pounds in under a month which was satisfying but caused my husband and family great concern. I'm not really functioning right now, and the way everyone is behaving, I'm not okay. But I feel okay. I'm not feeling like I'm in danger, I don't feel sick. I abuse stimulants for about two weeks out of the month and then "go clean."
Everyone is freaking out. But for the first time ever, I'm not. I don't feel like any of this is a huge deal. I feel okay. I feel in control. Not in a cliche ED way. I actually, truly don't feel sick. I'm frustrated by the people around me, on high alert, watching me, suspicious, all the time. I actually feel stable though.
Is there any chance they're wrong? It's possible I'm okay, right? I feel okay.
[Discussion] 5 kg 15 days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 14 22:24:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xoc12/5_kg_15_days/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xoc12/5_kg_15_days/
[Discussion] parents keep commenting on what I eat
/u/patriotsfan4life [5'2 | 89 | 16.3 | 14 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 21:55:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xo6wd/parents_keep_commenting_on_what_i_eat/
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When my skinny brother downs heaping plates of food, they don't say anything, but when I take literally one bite in front of my dad he's always like "omg it's so good to see you eating!" It makes me feel fat, like I'm eating more than I'm supposed to. Also, when I sit down to a meal or snack he always asks what I'm eating. I fucking hate it!!! I asked him politely to stop but he doesn't. Does this make anyone else mad?
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Just a vent, sorry!
/u/scribbledoll [5'0'' | 135 |27.76 | IDK | Girl? Ish?]
Created: Wed Feb 14 21:51:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xo66k/rant_just_a_vent_sorry/
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I don't know if I have an eating disorder, or if it's a symptom of something else I think I have (it's listed as a symptom, but idk), or if I have both, IDK and I'm scared to go and have them tell me I have neither and that I'm just one of "those people" who looked up symptoms online and said "lol me" and ugghhh I'm so paranoid that's all I'm doing but yeah sorry disclaimer over.
I'm terrified to update my flair because I've gained so much weight and I'm upset with myself and I'm trying to lose it all again, but it's hard, I keep eating!!!!! I lost like 20 pounds last year and then I have gained back I don't know how much. Maybe the pants I was wearing were significantly heavier than the ones I wore last year (the scale I use is in a public place where I can't weigh myself naked) I don't know. But I gained at least 5 pounds back. Which sucks because I am overweight and I NEED to be skinny and healthy!! Like, I'm doing all this for my health. It's okay to be unhealthy for the sake of being healthier, right? The ends justify the means? I mean, me hating myself and losing weight is healthier than me beng fat and hating myself, right?
I just keep eating. I eat until I'm full, then I keep eating!!!! I need to STOP THIS. I've been skipping breakfast lately. Today I had a HUGE lunch and then a big dinner. Having three meals probably would have been fewer calories than that!!!
(TW: period/menstruation)
And I don't know if I'm gaining water? weight from my period coming up. I think it's coming up because I'm getting hints of cramps which will probably last until the twenty-somethingth or something, and I'm not sure when that weight will drop.
(TW: period/menstruation over!)
I'm trying to just weigh myself once a month instead of once a week because maybe that will help me not panic and stress eat so much? I don't know...
There's a girl I talked to yesterday and she said that last semester she was so focused on her studies she'd forget to eat and lost 20 pounds and I'm jealous. So jealous. For one, she's thin, and she lost 20 pounds in ONE SEMESTER. And then for two, she's a good student who studies and gets good grades and here I am struggling and not doing well and being a failure like always you know? I'm doing so badly and struggling so much with Chemistry that my adviser suggested switching out of my zoology major. I might end up doing that if I can find some other way to work with animals. But whatever. I want to work with animals.
(haha, as I'm typing this, on my shuffled playlist, the song "The Dream Is Still Alive" by Xandria is playing, is this a sign? IDK)
And then part of me is like "LOSE WEIGHT AS FAST AS POSSIBLE JUST NEVER EAT AGAIN!!!!" and then the other part of me is like "slow down, or you'll get loose flabby skin, PLUS, your brain needs nutrition so you can do well in school". So all this indecision is freaking me out!! I'm always so indecisive and panicky and flighty and ughhh what do I even DO!?
I should go to the counselor and get idk ... counseling? But I'm lazy, and I have a bunch of other things I gotta do this week, so I might not get a chance to until next week and I'm still super scared, like what if it's nothing? Or just PMS?
I'm scared and stressed out and ughhhhhhhh.
I wonder if I should try to skip dinner...? Or if that would just make me panic and eat too much at lunch? Maybe I can skip lunch? But that's not really good for the intermediate fasting thing....
But I'd feel bad, because my roommate goes to the dininghall for dinner and it's fun to go with her, and I'd have to miss out on that more.... ughhhhhh...
I mean, lately we've been missing out on going together because of different study groups and stuff so .... I dunno. Maybe I can skip dinner tomorrow night?
I dunno... when I first started really getting my butt in gear to lose weight (instead of just wishing and self hating) I told myself I wouldn't ever purge by vomiting. My back teeth are all bad because wisdom teeth are kinda coming in and my upper back teeth have had pieces break off them because of wisdom teeth and inadequate brushing. That was weird because my mouth would hurt and then the piece of tooth would break off and then the pain would stop.
Anyhoo, I also hate vomitting (who doesn't?) and I can't do it quietly. I'm always crying loudly when I puke and I don't want people to hear me. I don't know if I'm just being weak and making excuses....
I don't know. I feel like I'm at a breaking point. Like... this is where I either break down completely and fail at everything, or I snap into focus and get everything right.
I want to be cute, thin, successful, and loved.
Sorry for rambling!! Thank you for reading if you did, and sorry if I don't reply , I'm really bad at replying to people after I vent like I just get drained and ugh why am I hungry right now I had like a million calories today please stop being ridiculous body pls.
Anyhoo, I hope you all had a lovely day, and a great evening. But most of all, I wish you a better tomorrow.
[Rant/Rave] Marriage falling apart brought on an unplanned binge
/u/alivebut-justbarely
Created: Wed Feb 14 21:50:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xo5xf/marriage_falling_apart_brought_on_an_unplanned/
---
Pretty self-explanatory, I guess. I am still very much in love with my husband but I don't think we are going to make it. Today was Valentine's Day and I turned to food to comfort myself. Binged at least 3000 calories. Tried to purge but it wouldn't come up. I'm going to have to fast for a few days to make up for this but I'm in so much pain that I'm worried I'll just keep eating my feelings.
[Rant/Rave] I want chocolate so bad right now.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Feb 14 21:35:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xo357/i_want_chocolate_so_bad_right_now/
---
On mobile flair as rant or help.
Restricting super low to stay in fasting mode and after my treat earlier of a small frappucinno I am still craving sweets. I really just want chocolate. Like I am trying to figure out how to get a good chocolate fix for under 100 calories but I don't just want one tiny square
I don't want to break my streak and binge from chocolate and it sucks it's valentines day and I'm all alone.
I'm strongly considering chewing and spitting some candy... #justEDthings
I just want chocolate...
W <3
How possible is it to lose 15 lbs in 20 days??? Desperate
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 14 21:23:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xo11t/how_possible_is_it_to_lose_15_lbs_in_20_days/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xo11t/how_possible_is_it_to_lose_15_lbs_in_20_days/
[Discussion] Guilt free recipes?
/u/kaelidoscope [5'0 | CW 102.5 | GW: 90 | 20.87 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 21:07:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xnxy6/guilt_free_recipes/
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I ate an entire bag of chips and watched some Netflix because it's Valentine's Day and I'm alone so why not. Actually not feeling too bad about the calories but I want to keep binging even though my body is telling me that I'm v full and plz stop. Do you guys have any recommendations on super light, low-cal snacks?
[Help] Scale Recommendations?
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: IDK, TOO MUCH| GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 20:21:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xnp1v/scale_recommendations/
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I am finally caving and getting a scale. I threw mine out when I recovered last, but I feeeeeeel a relapse coming on and I'm not really willing to fight it. I'm so so anxious to way myself because I know I've gained since I last new my weight and I think its at least 10-15 lbs (I'm repulsive and hate myself LOL).
Anyway, would love any recommendations, availability on amazon preferable.
Thank you, you beautiful people!!
[Rant/Rave] My Thigh Gap is completely gone and I feel revolting
/u/breadndread [5'1| 116 | 23| 3? | F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 19:36:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xnftl/my_thigh_gap_is_completely_gone_and_i_feel/
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I feel disgusting. Prom is only a few months away, and my friends want to go dress shopping. Ha ha as if I'll buy anything with my lardass. I've been on a Chocolate/Crisps/Chips binge for the past three weeks, and while I shouldn't act surprise, seeing my thighs touch makes me not want to go out in public.
_(: 3_\\) Z I am a mess
But Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
[Discussion] Safe Restaurants?
/u/BadAsh3403 [5'4" | 106 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 19:18:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xnc6p/safe_restaurants/
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Of course eating out is bullshit. But if you have to, what are some of your safe restaurants? I was thinking chains, but anything works.
Jasonās Deli and Zoeās are safe to me.
Panera Bread.
Salata-a salad place on the east US is kind of ok with me
A new Chipotle just opened near my house and Iām trying to get comfortable with it for my fiancĆ©ās sake, but itās hard.
[Other] I feel so dismal
/u/cyanchai
Created: Wed Feb 14 19:17:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xnbtl/i_feel_so_dismal/
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I had an active account here before. Deleted it because I was paranoid. Regardless, I feel so alone. I also had peach, which I deleted.
No idea why I choose to isolate myself. I donāt want to do this anymore
[Rant/Rave] Skinny does not equal Happy
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 84lbs | 15.9 | -23lbs | f]
Created: Wed Feb 14 19:12:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xnatg/skinny_does_not_equal_happy/
---
This is not what I expected.
I thought I'd feel beautiful. I thought I'd be happy. I thought everyone would love me. I thought I'd have a tumblr-perfect life: cute clothes and cute boys and polaroid-ready moments.
I thought being the skinniest girl in the room would make everything okay.
Instead, everyday, i find myself staring at beautiful, healthy girls wishing i looked like them- wishing i had shapely legs and soft edges and- God forbid!- boobs.
I wish i could go out to eat and NOT ruin the outing by spending twenty minutes in the bathroom.
I wish I could sit and focus but i can't get food out of my head.
I wish i could forget the numbers on nutrition labels.
I wish I went on dates like a normal teenage girl, but you know what they say- don't stick your dick in crazy. my habit has left me gaunt, pale, and dead-eyed. Not exactly the kinda look that receives male attention.
Probably doesn't help that I always smell like cigarettes and vomit.
I'm sick, all the time, always. It's fucking february and I've had three colds this year.
I can't wear short sleeves because between my (lack of) figure and complexion and the little needle marks all over my arms from endless blood draws, I look like an addict.
I spent my last summer vacation in and out of the hospital.
I missed my freshman and sophomore years of high school because I was too sick.
I've lost way more friends than I've ever made.
I've ruined relationships: my own, and others.
I thought i'd be the it-girl but instead i'm the girl who always has to leave early. i've got a pocket full of excuses, but in truth, i'm just too fucking tired.
I've had public meltdowns, panic attacks, and full on fainting spells.
I can't drive. I can't hold a job. I can't do anything but not fucking eat.
My whole 18 years of life have passed me by.
I didn't realize so much more than my body would waste away.
But at least i'm skinny, right?
Sometimes i wanna go back in time and smack the shit outta my dumb middle school self.
edit: i'm terribly sorry for all of my disillusioned purple-prose existential rants, but this shitty milestone of 18 years has got me feeling like a proper depressed writer again. cheers to y'all willing to read it.
[Rant/Rave] I got a valentine's card
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | fat | too high | Ugw: 7 lb 3 oz | 20f ]
Created: Wed Feb 14 18:50:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xn668/i_got_a_valentines_card/
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Sorry if this it OT. This girl that I had never had a class with/ me before this semester gave me a valentine card. It wasn't even like she gave the whole class, she just walked in, pulled it out and gave it to me. It had my name in cute letters and it said "I like your style and your subtle sass". I think I teared up thanking her. I've had such a shitty week, isolating myself to restrict, feeling completely shut down from everything and everyone around me, literally just moping, and this just sort of grounded me. I thought she was only nice to me bc we're classmates, but she actually notices me. It made me feel good and even made me wonder if people actually genuinely like me. Idk, man it just felt so good.
[Discussion] DAE only crave/binge on name brand junk foods?
/u/eileensariot [5'6" | CW 118 | GW 107 | relapsing | F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 18:24:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xn0s2/dae_only_cravebinge_on_name_brand_junk_foods/
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Iām house sitting for a family with dogs. They gave me full access to the pantry. This is usually always a disaster for binging of their junk food. (And in the past purging, but Iāve been able to control that as of late).
Well I went to the pantry just to ācheck things outā and everything is store brand. I had zero desire to binge. That never usually happens.
Is there some psychological association with name brand junk food and nostalgia or commercials or anything at all?
[Rant/Rave] Weird cravings
/u/selfharmaccount123
Created: Wed Feb 14 18:16:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xmz67/weird_cravings/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fuck I just ruin everything ever
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5ā4ā | cw 118 | gw 110 | bmi 20.7]
Created: Wed Feb 14 18:10:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xmxuo/fuck_i_just_ruin_everything_ever/
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All my SO wanted to do was take me on a date and I literally just started crying and refused because I donāt want to eat food and now heās sad and thinks Iām mad at him but god damn Iām having serious food anxiety right now and I just fucked up Valentineās Day
So Iām gonna let him take me to food somewhere ugh
My chest feels so tight even typing this because I am so anxious about the food I donāt even know what to do
And if I go to a restaurant Iām definitely going to get alcohol too because I have no self control. I thought I was doing so good this morning ugh fuck
[Discussion] Tired after eating?
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 132.5 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.7 | F21]
Created: Wed Feb 14 18:00:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xmvl6/tired_after_eating/
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When I restrict, I usually only eat a normal meal at night, and just eat a little bit to get by during the day. But I notice that after my proper meal, I get so sleepy? Idk if its my traitorous body trying to shut down to absorb calories or what, but I'm very confused. Does anyone else experience this?
[Other] Iām alone and drinking grief for dinner
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 14 18:00:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xmvk8/im_alone_and_drinking_grief_for_dinner/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE feel satiated just by preparing their food, then throw it out or ruin it (with salt etc.) before even taking a bite?
/u/aweebirb [4'10.5F | CBMI: 22.5 | GBMI: 18]
Created: Wed Feb 14 17:15:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xmlru/dae_feel_satiated_just_by_preparing_their_food/
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This is horrible and wasteful both of food and of money. It makes me feel awful about myself yet it gives me a really sick satisfaction when I'm "disciplined enough" to do it. Which makes me feel more awful.
[Rant/Rave] ED as a symptom, addressing the root? & still not wanting to stop
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW 155.6lb | 20.64 | -20.4 | GW 140]
Created: Wed Feb 14 16:57:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xmhrl/ed_as_a_symptom_addressing_the_root_still_not/
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I feel like there's obviously a reason why I'm relapsing at this specific time, and I should be addressing this reason/issue instead of letting the ED present itself. That would probably be a lot more productive, also to eat at a normal deficit so I lose weight at a normal pace.
But I also don't want to "miss the opportunity" if that makes sense? Like I haven't been able to restrict this low for this long in FOREVER. I'm scared that if I don't do it now I will just never get to my gw. And I do want to get to my gw, I always have since I set it regardless of if I had ok body image.
I feel like such a fool for letting myself fall into this behavior and letting it affect my life right now, and letting it take precedence over other things that matter. But I also don't want to let it go right now even if it's at a crucial time in my life. I know logically that people don't give a shit whether I'm 15 lbs lighter and will mostly judge me for my character rather than a weight difference, and that even though I hate my body I don't have to lose all the weight over such a short time.
But goddamn when I think of how good I felt about my body at gw years ago I want to cry. And also, maybe more importantly, I don't want to make all the struggle I put myself through the past couple weeks for nothing. I want to grind out the rest and be able to say I did it even though it was so hard.
I just wish I felt as good/was as productive as I am eating well and exercising as I do when restricting & fasting :/ but that seems literally impossible no matter how much caffeine I ingest.
Sorry this kind of turned into a directionless rant. I'm just feeling guilty about my behavior & really wondering what to do next
[Other] Military and ED
/u/ButtSteak69
Created: Wed Feb 14 16:56:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xmho3/military_and_ed/
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I have been lurking here for quite some time and I think I am finally ready to put this out there.
I am in the military and have been diagnosed with multiple problems over the past few years. The biggest one was being diagnosed with hypothyroidism which made me gain weight like crazy. I went from 135 to 185 in less than a year. I finally got put on medication which started to stabilize the weight gain and helped me drop some too. Then I got sick again. But the military docs had no clue what was wrong with me. I would feel sick eating anything and could go almost three days with nothing but water. I started to lose weight rapidly and it sort of stuck with me. It made me not want to get better. I meticulously wrote every macro for everything that went in my mouth and it was anywhere from 200-800cal a day. The lower the better! I lost 30 pounds in three months and had to start lying to my chain of command about what was going on. The mixture of being sick and obsessing over numbers and thinspo made me look pretty dead on the outside. My friends don't invite me out any more because I don't eat when we do go hang. My family knows that I am not medically sound and is just pinning it on that, but they don't really know how little I eat on purpose. My husband and kids will eat the dinner I make while I drink a diet coke.
Since I have lost so much weight while being seen under military doctors they are putting me on a watch list which terrifies me. I feel like every one in my unit knows because they overheard my commander openly speaking about it (in a nice way, making sure I was okay) but now everyone offers me food all of the time. The docs want me to come in once a week and make sure that my body isn't killing itself (they have no clue how little I eat).
I guess the whole point of this post is to explain how terrified of food I am. It makes me physically ill most times and mix food with hypothyroidism and I am afraid I will balloon up. According to online weight trackers I will be on track to being 100 pounds in the next year if I don't change. I don't think anything will change my ways at this point because no matter how hard I try I revert back to the same old shit. I wish I could look at pizza and not dissect the numbers or imagine the gut wrenching pain it brings me twenty minutes later. Currently I am 150 at 5' 6".
Thanks for letting me vent. This sub has really been helping me cope and everyone here is so nice.
[Intro] Just wanted to share my story
/u/unpollutedfantasy [š„]
Created: Wed Feb 14 16:49:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xmg7a/just_wanted_to_share_my_story/
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I need this off my chest. I was born with a less severe form of muscular dystrophy. I can walk and Iāve been pretty healthy most of my life. But it has effected me in my body image A LOT although Iām pretty normal I have really large appearing calf muscles because of the way my tissue goes. And kids shat on my life for that. It really fucked me up mentally. Iāve always had body image issues and depression. Now Iām 22 and this ED shit started recently (like the past 2 years) because I became a bit more health conscious. I was legitimately healthy, an appropriate caloric intake and I would exercise a lot more, I wasnāt even thinking about weight loss.
I noticed that as I lost weight my legs looked a tiny bit better and I thought if I just lost more itād be even better.
It took me so long to get here, but Iām at my lowest adult weight, a BMI of 20
Iām actually one of those rare bmi outliers, though, & Iām honestly healthier at a bmi of like 25 even 26, in the past Iāve lost my period at a bmi of about 22.5
Idk if itās because of the weight loss, but my diet is probably not helping this, but Iāve recently become weaker and Iāve having trouble walking down stairs. Iām going to the doctors soon to see whatās wrong and I fear Iāll have to gain weight. Honestly if a doctor told me now stop losing weight or youāll forever have mobility issues I would chose weight loss as fucked up as that isš¤·āāļø
[Help] Starbucks gives me anxiety and so does feeling out of control.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Feb 14 15:40:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xm009/starbucks_gives_me_anxiety_and_so_does_feeling/
---
I feel like I am sort of a control freak sometimes. I don't necessarily take control but I really don't like feeling like I am not in control. Maybe that is part of the root of how my ED started. I didn't feel in control.
I have fasted for 5 days. I have only had low calories liquids; coffee with one to two artificial sweeteners, water, little diet coke and powerade zero the last two days to deal with being dehydrated.
Seeing as how it is valentines day and I am alone I thought I would treat myself. I went out and picked out some new kitchen stuff just to have around. I also bought a couple cute pieces of clothing that actually fit. I was feeling ok.
I had been craving a frappucinno for a week or two. (even though I binged on one probably a week ago..) I figured I might be able to modify it enough to make me feel less guilty even though it is most definitely a decadent sweet drink with little to know actually value nutritionally.
I had my eyes set on the Valentines day season one, a cherry mocha frappecinno. I had tried my best to find the calories and other nutritional content online but it being seasonal and new and as far as know not something they have done before. I came up at a loss.
In the past when I was better at restricting I would get light frappucinnos; no whip cream, nonfat milk or nondairy milk and sugar free syrup. I tried to find it on the starbucks site but the mobile site wasn't doing me any good. i found out most tall light frappucinnos clock in at about 150 calories for a tall and 200 for a grande.
I set out to get one on my way home from being out. I make up my mind. I have no idea how many calories it would be. All the calculators gave me different numbers and I didn't want to breach 200 for a drink..
I walk in. First the barista yells at a homeless man who was trying to walk off with the tip jar. Even though I was not the target being yelled at, having a history of childhood trauama and abuse that included yelling leads me to being extra sensitive whether I am being yelled at or not. I walk up and my voice cracks as I recite my order.
me: I would like a cherry mocha frappucinno, can you make it light with almond milk please?
Barista: I sure can, I assume no whip right?
Me: uh the light ones don't have whip.
(He starts to ring up a grade before I correct him)
me: can you please make it a tall?
Barista: sure you don't want a venti? (laughs)
me: I am sure.. (silent then almost cries)
Barista: and can I have your name?
Me: Willow...like the tree
Barista: you're funny. that's your name? ok then..
me: (silent)
thanks me in a sarcastic tone with odd emphasis on my name....
I finally got my drink and held it in my hands and I had lost all desire for it now. The anxiety had set in. I quickly reached for my phone to log it and see how many steps I had taken today. I logged it as 300 calories and told myself I would take a long walk.
I feel like whenever something is being made for me it is likely to be fucked up. I feel paranoid like people would sabotage my orders at restaurants or coffee shops. I usually only like to eat things I make because I measure meticulously. To have someone else do something with a chance of things not being exact makes me worry a lot. I took two or three sips of the drink on the bus ride home.
it is now sitting in my freezer until I can get an accurate count on it or until I feel I have earn it. Not that I can earn it. I feel so disordered right now..
also alone.
W.
[Goal] I feel proud of myself for not buying binge foods.
/u/MellowKittyCat [170|CW:š³|GW:45|BMI:17|Atypical Ana]
Created: Wed Feb 14 15:29:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xlx8n/i_feel_proud_of_myself_for_not_buying_binge_foods/
---
Today I went to the store. My controlling mother isnāt there and I could have easily bought:
ā¢Chips
ā¢Pizza (fresh and frozen)
ā¢Cookies/bread
ā¢Candy
ā¢Cereal
ā¢Frozen foods.
But I walked past them (even though I have a weird regret on not buying them) and I bought some salmon nigiri (sushi). Itās not too high in calories and I still enjoyed. But Iām so proud of not buying chips!
[Help] Getting out of a binge episode?
/u/histrionicbitch [5'2" | 95 | 17.3 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 15:13:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xlsxy/getting_out_of_a_binge_episode/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate treatment beliefs about "normalized eating". I'm struggling to see that it's recovery oriented
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4" |105.4| BMI 18| GW 96 lbs |32 y/o]
Created: Wed Feb 14 14:28:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xlhjw/i_hate_treatment_beliefs_about_normalized_eating/
---
Today for breakfast, we had something typical with all macronutrient components. It was no really big deal, I'm used to varied breakfasts and whatnot. I can tolerate meal plans, whatever. I fucking hate milk, but whatever. I want to stop puking my guts out forever, so okay, I'll give it a shot.
But then Wednesday is apparently a "challenge" breakfast. And for Ash Wednesday we had part of a Kringle ON TOP OF BREAKFAST. RIGHT AFTER BREAKFAST. We had our meal and then the dietitian cut the pastry up and we had that.
The purpose of it was to be able to not let food have that much power. But nobody fucking does that. Nobody eats a part of a pastry WITH breakfast like a goddamn dessert. I can understand having a kringle/pastry as part of or instead of breakfast. But who the hell in your life eats breakfast AND then a dessert for breakfast. She wanted to play some upbeat music (she suggested Eminem)...
So then logic had me binging and purging after that. I want recovery (sometimes) but this is not what I want recovered eating to look like.
I don't want normalized eating if this is what it is supposed to be.
What are some of the practices you challenge in treatment?
[Discussion] In what ways are you atypical in regards to your ED?
/u/dotdot-8 [5'8| CW135 | GW122 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 14:16:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xlei8/in_what_ways_are_you_atypical_in_regards_to_your/
---
I shove handfuls of candy in my mouth, chew, swallow, and leave them there. I can't help myself and even if I could purge I just don't (not when it comes to candy anyway). What are yours?
Please flair discussion (on mobile).
[Rant/Rave] I just had an interesting experience
/u/selfharmaccount123
Created: Wed Feb 14 13:47:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xl6q6/i_just_had_an_interesting_experience/
---
This girl I'm talking to is like 90 pounds and she sent a laying down picture and she was so skinny... I got really jealous but I felt awful at the same time like sometimes I wish I was the only one with this I wish everyone else could be happy with their bodies I want to like help her and take care of her and tell her she should eat more but I would sound like such a hypocrite I don't know... She was so beautiful and goals but at the same time she its hurting her it's just frustrating and conflicting
[Help] Stomach pains?
/u/Douchebagette
Created: Wed Feb 14 13:39:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xl4ey/stomach_pains/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Buffy is the most amazing thinspo FYI
/u/ImNotaTreeImaShrub [5'5" CW:184lbs (-11lbs) | GW 130 lbs | LW/UGW 115lbs | 32F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 13:35:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xl3fh/buffy_is_the_most_amazing_thinspo_fyi/
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As an 80ās baby I am of course obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Iām doing my annual rewatch and god itās the best Thinspo. Theyāre all so thin and perfect.
On a side note I managed to offset two days of horrendous overeating with a fast day - my second one ever and itās only getting easier to fast, which makes me really happy in that sick ED way. Happy valentines everyone š
[Rant/Rave] I get excited when I buy food on impulse and then donāt like it.
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Wed Feb 14 13:29:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xl1tg/i_get_excited_when_i_buy_food_on_impulse_and_then/
---
Example: this morning I bought a breakfast burrito (girl WHY) and was planning on having only that all day. I already had guilt buying it but then when I bit into it, the salsa inside was gross and I threw the whole thing away.
Sad I wasted $6 but happy I didnāt waste the calories. Now I can eat something ābetterā and less calories and feel more in control.
[Rant/Rave] The irony of having an ED and being obsessed with nice kitchen wares
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Feb 14 13:21:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xkztc/the_irony_of_having_an_ed_and_being_obsessed_with/
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On mobile flair as rant or rave
I don't even cook or eat at home much and yet when I am out I always look at plates, bowls, utensils and other kitchen stuff to support my ED desires. I am beyond divided kids plates and just use tiny bowls and plates. I look finding unique and antique ceramic and China type stuff, cast iron pans and any thing that looks sophisticated yet small. I guess I just want my food to look dainty and dignified because I feel like neither.
[Tip] Mukbangs always keep me on track, they make me lose my appetite real quick
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 14 13:09:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xkw2r/mukbangs_always_keep_me_on_track_they_make_me/
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https://youtu.be/UAN8Fs-4AQ8
[Discussion] DAE have a messed up idea of what's "normal" and what's "skinny"?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 13:05:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xkv39/dae_have_a_messed_up_idea_of_whats_normal_and/
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I was watching a Youtuber who recently dealt with some major health issues, and she mentioned that she's "very underweight" from the ordeal. But looking at her, I found myself thinking that she didn't look skinny or even particularly thin.
And then today I found myself looking at an article about Lily Rose Depp and anorexia, and thinking that she looks normal-thin even though the article listed her as being 90 pounds. And when I look at myself it's the same thing- I know that when I was at a higher weight than I am now I used to think I was soooo skinny, but now I think I look normal or even big.
So I guess my question is, is anyone else's perception of what's thin completely screwed up? Tell your stories.
[Help] Worried
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Wed Feb 14 12:57:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xkt47/worried/
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[removed]
[Other] Lol yeah that's the point
/u/oopswellfuck
Created: Wed Feb 14 12:54:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xkseh/lol_yeah_thats_the_point/
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https://i.redd.it/do12zfj7h8g01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Is anyone else ashamed of themselves?
/u/doubleflipheart [SW - 70 kg ā£ļø CW - 59.5 kg ā£ļø GW - 45 kg ]
Created: Wed Feb 14 12:45:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xkpyg/is_anyone_else_ashamed_of_themselves/
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I'm not ashamed of having an eating disorder, of the fact that I restrict or go on crazy binge trips or torture myself. I'm ashamed of how warped my mind has become; how I think and how I treat others. I'm ashamed that I don't even realize the horrible things I do or how people react to them until told. This illness has turned me into a different person and this is not who I want to be. I'm so tired of it all and I wish it would stop. And yet...I've just got to be thin. Why am I so sick in the head?
[Other] Happy Valentine's Day! This edition: e.d. Starter-pack
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 12:32:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xkmd9/happy_valentines_day_this_edition_ed_starterpack/
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https://i.redd.it/vlsqitt4d8g01.png
[Help] Can anyone help me guess the calories in this?
/u/ayyyhannalmao
Created: Wed Feb 14 12:30:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xklp0/can_anyone_help_me_guess_the_calories_in_this/
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https://i.redd.it/yv9a3tymc8g01.jpg
[Discussion] For those of you spending Vtines alone, what are your plans?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 137 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 11:55:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xkccd/for_those_of_you_spending_vtines_alone_what_are/
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I am going to use an enema at some point, and then have an extra pot brownie tonight. I'm such a fun, exciting person.
[Help] What should I do?
/u/pathetiqe
Created: Wed Feb 14 11:43:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xk8uq/what_should_i_do/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] iām so angry
/u/nxlx
Created: Wed Feb 14 11:35:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xk6gq/im_so_angry/
---
every time i talk about eating, my stupid ass step father says ādonāt pig outā ..... what the FUCK?
like last night, i fake told my mom that i would eat some french fries when i was done with my homework and my step father butts in with ādonāt pig out, we might want more laterā as if me not eating most days and wanting SOMETHING SMALL (granted i wasnāt actually planning on eating the fries) is going to effect him and his morbid obesity??? fuck him fuck him fuck him!!!!! him saying stuff like that makes my ed 10000x worse
today i was thinking about eating a slice of pizza because iāve been fasting and i didnāt want to go face first into a turkey tonight without having eaten anything so i said āiām gonna go grab a sliceā (our work bought employees pizzas for lunch today) and he says ādonāt pig outā I ALMOST FUCKING SCREAMED so guess who isnāt going to eat now. i might not even eat tonight like i had planned.
why do people have to say shit like that WHY
[Discussion] Suicide by anorexia: yay or nay?
/u/SecretOfPineapples
Created: Wed Feb 14 11:33:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xk61m/suicide_by_anorexia_yay_or_nay/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Face swelling when chewing gum
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 11:33:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xk5vd/face_swelling_when_chewing_gum/
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Has anyone else noticed this? My face gets super puffy when I chew gum, even if only one stick. Wasn't sure if this was just me, or maybe an issue with the gum I use. Freaks me out cause I already think I look like a chipmunk. Google has given me no answers so I figured y'all would be the next best gum experts.
[Rant/Rave] Just discovered the best VANILLA COFFEE from Whole Foods! Tastes just like an ice latte but with 10g protein and only 80Kcal 0 sugarāØ
/u/xxx07v
Created: Wed Feb 14 10:32:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xjpf4/just_discovered_the_best_vanilla_coffee_from/
---
https://i.redd.it/qw7q21owr7g01.jpg
[Discussion] DAE only eat half of something but log the entire thing anyway because they're not sure exactly how many calories they ate?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 127| BMI: 24.8 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 10:27:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xjo08/dae_only_eat_half_of_something_but_log_the_entire/
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Example: soup.
I would say I ate about 50% of the soup in my bowl today, but soup is full of a bunch of different stuff, which means I could have eaten half the calories, less than half, or over depending on which parts of the soup I ate. So I logged all of it so that I don't end up overeating later because of a mistake.
Does anyone else do this?
[Tip] Potential Tip for Curbing Cravings
/u/Pans_Flabyrinth [5'5.75" | 105.8 | BMI: 17 | -28.2 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 10:15:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xjkqq/potential_tip_for_curbing_cravings/
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So this is going to sound kind of crazy, but bear with me...
I'm currently on Day 3 of a (hopefully) 14 Day Water/Coffee/Tea/Broth Fast and I've been noticing that right around dinner time (6pm) is when the cravings/hunger starts to really kick in. I've been supplementing my electrolytes as well as taking a fiber/probiotic gummy vitamin daily to try and mitigate them, but by night-time it's already been becoming really difficult to stay strong.
I was scouring my fridge last night for something I could potentially allow myself to have a few sips of without feeling guilty. I was thinking pickle juice, but my dear husband had cleaned out the refrigerator and tossed what was left of my pickles (cue overwhelming silent rage). Lucky for me, he didn't check the shelves during his overly eager purge, and we had a few jarred jalapeno slices. I figured why not, it's almost the same, and the vinegar/salt combo might just help.
It was amazing! It was spicier than regular pickle juice (obviously), and I think all the capsaicin made it way more effective. I took about 3 tiny sips (fearful of salt bloat) and immediately the warmth from the spice mixed with the vinegar soothed my rumbly belly and killed my hunger pretty much instantly.
I know I sound like an absolute lunatic and I'm certain the image of me standing in front of my open fridge drinking the juice from a jar of jalapenos is equal parts sad and hilarious, but it's my new hunger-killing holy grail. I can't begin to describe how well it worked, even after 48 hours without food!
If anyone else has experience with something similar or potential explanations about why it worked so well I'm all ears!
[Rant/Rave] Fuck Kale
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 132.5 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.7 | F21]
Created: Wed Feb 14 10:08:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xjiv4/fuck_kale/
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[removed]
[Help] I really feel upset
/u/steamedbun_27
Created: Wed Feb 14 09:51:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xje1w/i_really_feel_upset/
---
Hi, been a lurker for awhile...basically I have been caught in a binge/restrict cycle for awhile now, and I believe I've gained about 6kg :( I am so upset. I have been in this cycle since November last year. I was involved heavily in a dance production last year, and I just started binging after coming home from intensive rehearsals/practices. Now that the production is over, I keep having on and off binges and I usually restrict/try to fast to counteract them. I don't know what to do :( help :(
[Rant/Rave] Mood today. Happy V-Day yāall lmao
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 09:30:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xj83x/mood_today_happy_vday_yall_lmao/
---
https://i.redd.it/wm1dr3ksg7g01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Mood today. Happy V Day yāall lmao
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 14 09:28:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xj7g3/mood_today_happy_v_day_yall_lmao/
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https://i.redd.it/7uc41lkdg7g01.jpg
Fasting/restricting but not losing
/u/dwaiiiii
Created: Wed Feb 14 08:30:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xis1c/fastingrestricting_but_not_losing/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Healthy BMI
/u/Cockroach-Boy
Created: Wed Feb 14 08:10:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xin1k/healthy_bmi/
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For the first time in my life I'm at a healthy BMI. I should be more excited; I should be ecstatic. I've been trying to lose the same 10 pounds for months. Now I've finally done it with a belief I can keep it off this time (four days no scale and slight loss woooo). But I've been so numb and exhausted. I'm not happy or excited. I'm mad it didn't happen sooner. I'm pissed off I didn't get here during my teens. I'm angry that I've had to vomit all my meals up to get here and now that I am here I know damn well I won't stop what's worked until I get. . . Somewhere.
[Goal] I was really embarrassed and worried about posting this, hence being two days late, but Monday marked one month purge-free.
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Wed Feb 14 07:06:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xi7mk/i_was_really_embarrassed_and_worried_about/
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And I just wanted to tell somebody, since I donāt have anyone to tell just yet. But Iām excited and Iām going to tell my boyfriend today as part of our Valentineās celebration.
Iām up a little weight but Iāve been working out and all my clothes still fit the same, so Iām trying to not feel horrified.
Wish me luck šµ Iām still trying to convince myself to give up quest bars and zero-cal drinks! Dem ED staple foods
[Rant/Rave] Valentine's Day, OH. NO. But Lent :)
/u/thedarkleopard [5'3'' | CW: 138 | SW: 144 | 24.45 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 05:16:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xhl9f/valentines_day_oh_no_but_lent/
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Fucking Valentine's Day...
It's like the Halloween of the winter when it comes to candy being available everywhere. Chocolate, candy hearts, red and pink versions of any sweet or baked good imaginable... ugh! Wishing good luck to those who will be around all these baby demons in wrappers all day :) it's sad that I'm single for Valentine's Day, I could really use someone holding my hand so I don't stuff my face today haha.
On a brighter note, if anyone's swearing off some foods for Lent, it begins today! Lent lasts until March 29th, so if you're trying to lose some extra pounds by April, it's a neat excuse to avoid any high-calorie foods. If you want a semi-legit excuse to not eat them, go ahead and make a list of your own.
I'm swearing off dairy, baked goods, candy (chocolate inclusive), soda, and white breads/pastas. Y'all can comment below what you're giving up for Lent if you want!
[Discussion] ā¤ļøš§”š February 14th, 2018 Question of the Day! ššš
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 14 05:12:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xhki1/february_14th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Did you kiss someone today?
Donāt worry, Iām as bitter as some of yāall Iām sure
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 14, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Feb 14 05:12:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xhkhm/daily_food_diary_february_14_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 14, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday February 14, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Feb 14 05:11:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xhkay/way_to_go_wednesday_february_14_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for February 14, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Help] To anyone whoās done the chocolate mono.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 14 05:09:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xhk1q/to_anyone_whos_done_the_chocolate_mono/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xhk1q/to_anyone_whos_done_the_chocolate_mono/
[Help] Getting rid of the "purge" smell in my bathroom?
/u/uforgan
Created: Wed Feb 14 03:19:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xh2qe/getting_rid_of_the_purge_smell_in_my_bathroom/
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I've tried cleaning everything down, lighting candles, taking a break from purging, but the smell is still noticeable. Does anyone have any advice?
[Help] roof of mouth hurts when breaking fast?
/u/cisheterpatriarchy [5'6 | 146lbs | GW: 116lbs]
Created: Wed Feb 14 03:12:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xh1nx/roof_of_mouth_hurts_when_breaking_fast/
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i just had some blueberries and an apple which i couldn't even finish because the roof of my mouth hurts really bad. is this normal? i hope it goes away by the time i eat again
to clarify i haven't ever done a fast this long (42 hours), i've done full day fasts but my mouth didn't hurt when breaking them
[Rant/Rave] 109 hours...11 minutes.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Feb 14 02:18:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xgu2m/109_hours11_minutes/
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On mobile flair as rant or rave thanks.
So I have been too depressed to eat much and felt a lot of dysmorphia to the point where my own bodily functions provoke a lot of anxiety. I fasted for two days kind of unintentionally then just kind of kept going.
I made it through my work shift but I'm anxious about tomorrow Thursday which I have off. I might try to sleep or get out of my house to be away from food but I know that also makes going out really tempting.
It's my first valentines day single in 6 years now since my Ex left me. I want to do something nice for my self but don't trust myself to eat yet or at all.
My mind is losing its strength. I contemplated ordering postmates/ubereats like I have done in the past (sometimes multiple orders at once for binges). I quickly closed the app and tried to collect myself.
I feel like a wreck. I feel awful. I feel alone. Being alone on a day where everyone seems to have someone sucks. I'm not just meant for anyone. .
By noon today it will be 5 days...
W.
[Rant/Rave] Disappointing family
/u/carlisam9797 [5'2" 19F | CW 119 | SW 130 | GW 105 | UGW 99]
Created: Wed Feb 14 00:16:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xgc4a/disappointing_family/
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I'm having a real anxiety attack over my mom. I feel so claustrophobic at this point in my life and wish I could just either die now or fastforward my life a decade past all of this.
The first time I ever felt too big was around 5th grade. It was when my body started to take shape and I realized my butt and thighs were bigger than all my friends' (I'm half black and come from a family of big-legged southerners. my legs are still my maaaaajor problem today). I hadn't quite begun to care yet, though, and would still openly beg for sweets.
On a trip with my mom and grandparents, after I'd just gone on a big school shopping spree for a bunch of clothes I was super proud of, I begged for a piece of pie at a Marie Calendars. My mom screamed at me in front of the whole restaurant to "shut up! you couldn't even fit into any of the clothes you were supposed to at the mall".
Since, of course, my eating problems have developed around my own self-image issues and social anxiety (I'm the type of person who will cancel plans or avoid people I know because I embarrassed of how fat I may look on a given day), but I also can't get over the feeling that I'm just a big disappointment to my mom.
Yeah, she's a massive prude who has made me feel less than human for a myriad of normal things from needing my first bra and wanting to wear tampons to losing my virginity, and I'm a party-girl fuckup who has added gas to the fire with a slew of bad decisions in my late teens, but still.
I finally decided to try and tell her how disruptive my body issues are to my entire life today and her response was "you feel guilty over eating, so just have some self control and eat less. then you'll have the opposite feeling, like a triumph." That's the exact mindset I already have and have been torturing myself with when I fail, so obviously her advice didn't help much.
I just feel that neither my mom or myself will forgive me for all of my shortcomings until I'l have become financially independent, married a nice guy, and gotten my body where I want it to be sustainably.... and that will take years and years from now. :/
[Discussion] Wisdom teeth extraction !!!!
/u/edjericho
Created: Tue Feb 13 23:44:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xg6sj/wisdom_teeth_extraction/
---
I'm getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow and I'm so stoked because I'm probably going to lose weight bc of it - hopefully it'll help snap me out of this terrible binge cycle.
What was ur guys' experience with wisdom teeth extraction?
[Discussion] What was your biggest binge?
/u/greciamarzz
Created: Tue Feb 13 23:25:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xg3ow/what_was_your_biggest_binge/
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What did you eat and how many calories do you estimate it totaled?
How I talk about exercise (my friend doesnāt know I have an ED)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 13 22:50:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xfxpx/how_i_talk_about_exercise_my_friend_doesnt_know_i/
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https://i.redd.it/t5pzai9ka4g01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Ate below 1000 cal for the first time in years
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|116.8lb|22F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 22:38:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xfvmc/ate_below_1000_cal_for_the_first_time_in_years/
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Just to prove I could do it. I've told myself time and time again that "I just can't restrict like I used to" after recovering. But I'm just so tired of looking and feeling like this. I found a video of myself when I was a teenager and I forgot how skinny I used to look - and I didn't even appreciate it. To regular people I'm "thin," but they don't understand that I used to be 30 pounds less than I am now, so compared to that I feel like a cow most of the time. I am not a normal person. I can't ever be a normal person.
I'm not a teenager anymore. I have complete autonomy over my diet, I exercise more than I did before, I have an Adderall prescription. There's no reason why I can't get back down. The only thing holding me back is my brain; I just need to exercise the willpower to get accustomed to restricting again. I just hope this lasts.
[Rant/Rave] Stuck in recovery limbo for months
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: IDK, TOO MUCH| GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 22:35:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xfv1e/stuck_in_recovery_limbo_for_months/
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I weight restored like 6 months ago and haven't been able to fully commit to recovery, got caught in a binge-restrict cycle and gained like 15 lbs which I have not been able to get off of me. Restricting is just so much harder than it used to be and I feel like going to treatment robbed me of whatever ~skill~ I had. I just want it back. I want to feel in control again, I know its bad for my body and I know the risks and all I want is to have it back. The problem is I don't know how to get there so I just gain and lose the same ten lbs over and over again and I feel like a big, fat, fake fraud. Im not asking for ~tips~ or anything because I know thats not allowed I was just wondering if anyone felt similar or if its possible to "break" your body and really not be able to lose weight?
[Rant/Rave] Telling myself how much I hate myself to motivate me to lose weight
/u/Bleepbloopbroke [65|CW 106.4|GW 95|UGW 84|17.91| -26.6| F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 22:29:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xfu0p/telling_myself_how_much_i_hate_myself_to_motivate/
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The title pretty much says it all. All I have to do is look in the mirror and pinch that disgusting flab on my body, see how fat I am, or step on the scale and realize how I'll never be enough.
Sorry if you guys are tired of seeing posts from me. I'm in a real "I really hate myself" place right now and I honestly don't know how to express myself other than ranting to other people who might understand. It's either that or cutting and I'm trying to be a good little girl and not have scars. I'm such a failure though honestly. Starting a 72 hour fast to hopefully get rid of my bloat.
[Discussion] DAE constantly lurk 1200isplenty to see pictures of what everyone eats in day?
/u/Kittenmagick [5'7 | CW: 119lbs | GW: 100lbs | 25/F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 22:24:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xft1r/dae_constantly_lurk_1200isplenty_to_see_pictures/
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I sort of want to encourage people to post pictures here of their daily meals like 1200isplenty but when I think about what I've eaten today (an apple) its a bit bleak.
If anyone would like to post pictures of all their food, I would love to see :)
On a side note I'll be going back to uni soon so I'll have to start eating more food so I'll be able to hopefully post too.
[Rant/Rave] I'm just so big!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 13 22:23:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xfsti/im_just_so_big/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xfsti/im_just_so_big/
[Help] I somehow can't restrict anymore at all and it scares me. Can't stop eating and gaining weight.
/u/smileyslimey [5'5 | 98 | 16.3 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 22:22:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xfss3/i_somehow_cant_restrict_anymore_at_all_and_it/
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I've had a mostly restrictive ED for a few years now. I've had my ups and downs and now for the last couple of months I just stopped caring.
Stopped logging my calories, ate whenever I felt like it which was often and a lot, ate fear foods, *bought* fear foods and had them around the house, drank lots of booze, stopped weighing myself and ignored the feeling of getting bigger and gaining weight.
Which I know I have, I'm definitely over 110 now. š
I hate the way my body looks. Every morning I dread showering and changing my clothes. I love spring but I'm not looking forward to it this year because I'm too fat to give up my layers and baggy sweaters and I really doubt I'll lose the weight until then. The weight gain shows everywhere. My waist has gone from 22 to 26 inches. My thighs are beginning to touch and I just *feel* so much bigger just *being*.
Because I hate this weight gain so much I've tried to restrict. Many times. Started logging and my days were fine until at some point I always break and just stop giving a fuck and eat everything. It scares me. I cannot restrict anymore for the life of me. I'm eating over maintenance every day and slowly, but steadily gaining more and more weight. And I can't stop, I can't control myself anymore and I don't know when or if it is ever going to stop. I've never been heavy, never weighed over 120 lbs but this time might be it.
I'm so scared and panicking right now. I've had this ED for so many years and I've tried so much now. Fasting to reset myself always ends in a huge binge. Slowly reducing calories doesn't work because the lowest I can go is literally 1600 which is my maintenance. I'm already eating the most filling foods high in fiber and protein.
If anybody has gone through the same thing, I'd be so thankful for any advice. Maybe it is possible to overcome this, I really wish I could.
[Rant/Rave] My mom is telling me I have to go back to outpatient treatment.
/u/EinHungerkunstler [5'2.75" | 99 | 17.68 (standard), 18.20 (new)]
Created: Tue Feb 13 22:02:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xfouz/my_mom_is_telling_me_i_have_to_go_back_to/
---
After a difficult fall semester, I'm back at my parents' house. My mom monitors everything I eat -- which, of course, she doesn't think is enough. So, today she surprised me with an intake assessment at a treatment center. I spoke to one of the therapists, and he said they'll call tomorrow to tell us their recommendation.
I'm really scared. Thankfully, since my mom wants me to stay in school, I won't be going inpatient. But I don't want to do outpatient again either. I'm sick to death of crying in therapy sessions and faking weight gain (or worse, actually gaining weight).
I know that I should be grateful that my parents can afford get me treatment. But God, it sucks so much. My stints in treatment were the worst times of my life.
Sorry for the whiny, self-indulgent post. I just needed to rant, and I think this sub is one of the only places that would understand.
[Intro] Hello, hello. & ED Youtubers?
/u/allthe_badthings
Created: Tue Feb 13 21:56:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xfnnb/hello_hello_ed_youtubers/
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Just wanted to say thank you. As my relationship with food became increasingly sketchy, this sub has been a refuge. I credit you all with keeping me (relatively) sane in the last six months.
Today I C/S for the first time. In a strange way I feel like I've unlocked a new magical door. Is it really that simple/scary?
I've also been down the rabbit hole of recovery/ED youtubers lately. Some favorites are Jen Brett, Joy Said, Boo, Stefanie Marie, Recovery Flower, and Merry Rose Howley. I'm also kind of mesmerized by Lotus Lou. Who are your favorites?
[Help] Please help a nanny
/u/oopswellfuck
Created: Tue Feb 13 20:34:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xf7gf/please_help_a_nanny/
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Hi everyone. I've been lurking forever and am so appreciate of this community :)
I've started working as a nanny and I LOVE it and I love the kids, but it is a trigger hellscape. I spend all day around food (and every day when the parents leave they remind me to help myself to anything!) Meals are multi-hour calorie-dense torture.
I was doing so well before I took this job, and now I feel like I binge every single day I go to work. I feel anxious about it every time I walk into the house. I've never purged, and I would really love to not get into that, but I'm feeling so frustrated.
I've tried bringing my own safe food (but binged). I've tried bringing no food and just eating the kids' leftovers (but binged). I've tried c/s, but the kids will be old enough to talk soon (plus I feel like it's so rude to c/s someone else's food hah). I know there's probably no great solution, and maybe this is more a rant than anything, but gah!!
[Discussion] DAE keep binging just to make a binge 'worth it'
/u/finnkat
Created: Tue Feb 13 20:31:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xf6on/dae_keep_binging_just_to_make_a_binge_worth_it/
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I feel like I'm constantly sabotaging myself, I make the worst decisions when it comes to food and calories. Like, if I enter one serving of something on MFP and get full halfway through, I'll push myself to eat the whole thing so my calorie count is correct, even if I know it would be better to over-count calories. Now I'm in a b/p cycle and feel so full I'm nauseous but I keep making myself eat more because it doesn't feel like it was enough food to be 'worth it' yet. I could totally stop right now, and save myself a thousand calories but for some reason I just can't, I don't even know how much I've eaten but mentally it doesn't feel like it's enough so I have to keep going. I literally hate myself.
[Rant/Rave] I am incapable of rational thought: water weight edition
/u/phantomsalad
Created: Tue Feb 13 20:30:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xf6i4/i_am_incapable_of_rational_thought_water_weight/
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The scale says that over the course of one day I gained 1.4 pounds, even though I ate 300 calories today (and have been eating at a deficit for a long ass time.) I have not had a bowel movement in 3 days, so a logical person would attribute that weight gain to water and food. Part of my brain so badly wants to be rational and just weigh myself once I have a bowel movement. But the other part of my brain has had me crying for the better part of an hour, convinced I'm the one person that can bend the laws of thermodynamics and gain weight eating at a deficit. Yet another part of my brain is wondering if you can absorb calories through the nose and maybe my amphetamine was cut with powdered sugar. I would love to calm down but I don't think my brain will allow it. So I am going to cry and kill more of my brain cells via malnutrition and drug abuse. Goodnight everyone
[Discussion] What counts as a binge to you?
/u/HipHopEchidna [F/5'2" | CW:125 | GW:99]
Created: Tue Feb 13 20:22:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xf4t7/what_counts_as_a_binge_to_you/
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I know a common cause of panic for a lot of people here is binging, being in a binge-cycle, and worrying about an oncoming binge.
I consider it overeating when I go over my calorie limit by a ānormalā amount. A binge is generally either a sudden-onset of eat-everything-in-my-house-until-everything-hurts eating, or somewhat pre-planned going to the store, and buying a large amount of ~forbidden~ foods, and eating until I feel too sick to eat anymore.
I was kind of curious so figured Iād drop a post. Guess I was just wondering if my binges were normal lol
[Help] I hit 30 hr fasting, just hit with massive cravings
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 190 lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 20:21:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xf4sf/i_hit_30_hr_fasting_just_hit_with_massive_cravings/
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I had ~500(?) calories yesterday (unsure because I didn't eat all the food I set aside for myself) after a pretty shamefully bingy Friday-Saturday, and I wanted to try and make it to 42 hour fasting (at least, we'll see how I feel then).
I've felt good all day, not even really that hungry, but now it's almost 9:30 PM and I just got hit with massive, specific cravings.
I don't even know what the point of this post is lol, I'm just trying to distract myself
[Help] advice??
/u/nxlx
Created: Tue Feb 13 20:14:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xf38j/advice/
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Tomorrow, my family wants to make a big dinner as a sort of āThanksgiving 2.0ā instead of Valentineās day. They bought a whole turkey instead of just breasts because of how I much I like the dark meat, but Iām in the middle of a fast..... what should I do? Iām desperate to get back to my lw (iām not that far off!!) but I donāt want to raise any red flags or make them think that Iām unappreciative.
Is there anyway to make it look like Iām eating when Iām not?
Any secretive, functional ED people?
/u/Mister_Wan
Created: Tue Feb 13 20:14:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xf368/any_secretive_functional_ed_people/
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No one knows I have an ED except for my ex boyfriend and I have never gone to treatment or therapy so I don't even talk about it with a medical professional. I usually don't gain or lose too much in either direction, usually staying about a pretty healthy BMI of 18.8-20 at 5'5.5" & 118-128 lbs, so no one is any the wiser. I feel like if I were to talk about it, I wouldn't be taken seriously because I'm not in any imminent medical danger (besides the disgusting amounts of fat and carbs that I stuff my face whatever damage occurs while fasting for days intermittently), and I also don't purge, so I'm really fine and just have a bad relationship with food. But the thoughts about food and constant self measurement and anxiety and guilt/shame from binging are taking over my life and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm trying to convince everyone else and/or myself that I really am fine and I'd need to just suck it up and start maintenance calories when I want to recover. Anyone else feel this way?
[Discussion] DAE want to date someone bigger on purpose?
/u/ellenberry
Created: Tue Feb 13 20:11:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xf2kc/dae_want_to_date_someone_bigger_on_purpose/
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Hi. I comment occasionally and have been here for a few months, you all are lovely:) So I've been restricting somewhat easily and have dropped a bit of weight recently. I'm nearing the low end of a healthy BMI and I've noticed that now I like talking to guys that are a little bigger. Like before when I was on the cusp of overweight, I liked more fit/thin/lanky guys maybe because that's what I wanted to be like?? but now I'm talking to a guy who's a lil chubby and I like it because I'm somewhat tall (5'9) and he makes me feel smaller. I was just curious about other people's preferences and thoughts or if it's ever changed for you along the way.
cool :)
[Help] Low cal Italian food??
/u/accordingtoging [5'9" | 135 | 19.5 | -40 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 20:10:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xf27s/low_cal_italian_food/
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My bf is taking me to a nice Italian restaurant tomorrow for Valentineās Day and Iām kind of freaking out. So much pasta. So much oil. So much bread. So many calories. Please help. Do any of you know any low cal options most Italian restaurants serve??
[Rant/Rave] lol thanks reddit for always keepin me ~triggered
/u/dietcokecult [5'5" | HW shrek | CW fiona | GW incorporeal vapor | -50]
Created: Tue Feb 13 19:59:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xezy7/lol_thanks_reddit_for_always_keepin_me_triggered/
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honestly idk why i still read /r/relationships, guess i can't stay away from the drama.
but every. single. time. somebody posts about their relationship and mentions that they're overweight/have gained since the relationship started, all their other problems get ignored because obviously the real issue here is that they're a disgusting fat fatty and that's why their partner treats them like shit.
literally somebody could post about how their partner cheats on them every day and verbally abuses them but if they mention being fat all the comments will be "but your health!!!!!!! why don't you count calories it's so easy there's no excuse!!!! your partner is allowed to have preferences honestly it's disrespectful to them to let yourself go like that so you're both equally at fault"
that sub and so many other parts of reddit are a constant onslaught of excuses for why it's fine to treat fat people like gross subhuman morons. i'm not even overweight anymore (just barely lmao) but it still feels like a personal reminder that i will always be repulsive and worthless to everyone around me until i'm thin enough. at least it motivates me to restrict more. i guess i should be thanking reddit for helping ya girl get skinny āļøš
[Rant/Rave] "You look healthy" - Nurse. I was at the ER for chest pains.
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Tue Feb 13 19:56:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xez7g/you_look_healthy_nurse_i_was_at_the_er_for_chest/
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I went to the ER. I've never taken myself to the ER before in my life, and I'm 31.
I had horrible chest pains for a few days. I have anxiety, yes. Panic attacks, yes. But these felt different. I woke up for 3 days with a vice grip on my heart. I was truely afraid.
When I checked into the ER, she took my info etc etc, bipolar whatever. I told her I have a past history of an eating disorder. And I currently have an eating disorder.
I'm not emaciated.
But to confess that to a professional was not easy. the 110 pounds of me pushed forwards to say I have an eating disorder because I feared that maybe the two, potential heart issue and that, had a link. Anything that could help than out.
She looked at me.
"You look completely healthy to me."
"ok..."
I can't get that out of my head. I can't get it out. I cant get it out.
(i'm ok by the way, they say my chest symptoms were 'psychosomatic' though they are still there, they ran tests etc, idk it felt like a total waste of 6 hours? nobody took me seriously.)
[Other] I just want to lose weight
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 19:42:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xewd0/i_just_want_to_lose_weight/
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https://i.redd.it/f2hi3zbxc3g01.png
[Discussion] Model Squad
/u/EstesParkRanger
Created: Tue Feb 13 19:07:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xeowc/model_squad/
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Anyone see the first episode of Model Squad on E? So much thinspo, calorie counting, substance abuse alluding, insane working out.
[Other] Skittles Binge Hack
/u/irrevocably_damaged [H: 5' 2" | CW: 125 | BMI: 22.9 | SW: 135 | GW: 98 | š]
Created: Tue Feb 13 18:55:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xembf/skittles_binge_hack/
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[removed]
[Other] Coffee consumption
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 13 18:51:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xela9/coffee_consumption/
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https://i.redd.it/q3fajjgt33g01.png
[Other] Coffee consumption
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 18:50:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xel1y/coffee_consumption/
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https://i.redd.it/q5q9bi7l33g01.png
[Intro] Peach & Hi!
/u/Light--As-A-Feather
Created: Tue Feb 13 18:44:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xejp2/peach_hi/
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Hi, I'm new to the community but I downloaded peach. My username is lightasafeather
I have lost 90 lbs in the last year. Just looking to make friends who understand this illness. <3
[Discussion] Does anyone else steal food from their roommates?
/u/ribcage666 [5'8.5" | bmi 21.2 | -62 lbs | F šæ]
Created: Tue Feb 13 18:39:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xeijy/does_anyone_else_steal_food_from_their_roommates/
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:"(
I hate that I do this. It's like my bulimia just needs to be satisfied with the exact food it wants. I don't keep foods I usually binge on in the house, so when I binge I reach for roommate a's) peanut butter, roommate b's maple syrup. I tell myself they don't notice but I'm sure I'm not as sneaky as I think I am.
:( anyone else? Fuck bulimia, man.
[Rant/Rave] Itās valentines ā¤ļøšš day šš you š©š±āāļø know š§ šš¤ what that means š±šš
/u/defenestrationdisco [5'8 | CW 57kg | GW1 53kg | UGW 50kg | 19F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 18:35:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xehp4/its_valentines_day_you_know_what_that_means/
---
[removed]
[Tip] MEAL HACK INSIDE DIETITIANS HATE HER
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 190 lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 18:15:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xedcr/meal_hack_inside_dietitians_hate_her/
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Literally just squirted dijon mustard on raw mushrooms and it was like the greatest thing I've ever eaten
Maybe because I haven't eaten in 28 hours but still
I know *technically* it breaks my fast, but it was legit <20 calories (+keto friendly) so I'm not counting it in my fasting streak
[Rant/Rave] I am never going to be well
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4" |105.4| BMI 18| GW 96 lbs |32 y/o]
Created: Tue Feb 13 17:40:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xe5cc/i_am_never_going_to_be_well/
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No treatment can make me a sociable, loving, person.
I am never going to be well and that scares me.
I already gave away my cat so she'll have a good home when I eventually find the guts to die. I am so ready to go and die but am too lazy to do it.
I am so lonely and sad tonight. I don't really have friends or family to reach out to. Iknow it seems like I'm begging for attention and maybe I am...can people just post links to funny things, your favorite gif or something?
Thank you.
[Help] binge gone wrong ):
/u/katijaiv [5'10 | CW no good | f]
Created: Tue Feb 13 17:12:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xdyjx/binge_gone_wrong/
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[removed]
[Intro] Iām Back!
/u/sadveggiehead [5ā5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 16:52:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xdtvt/im_back/
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I have been on a two week long binge cycle at which I have gone from 133 to 135ish and have stayed here the entire time. Not moving obviously. Now I am trying to retrain my eating back down to 600 calories a day. Today I have had 650 calories and I chewed and spit a little Debbie cake. We will see how the rest of this weeks goes but I had to change my goal weight date because of how fucking off track I was. I was purposefully staying away from the sub because I knew I would feel so bad for how I was eating but I am glad to be back, definitely.
[Rant/Rave] When you think you bought fat free yogurt and it turns out to be full fucking fat
/u/skinnyinscrubs [5ā5.5ā | CW 114 | BMI 18.7 | GW1 112 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 16:52:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xdtuq/when_you_think_you_bought_fat_free_yogurt_and_it/
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Iām legitimately about to kill myself itās OVER DOUBLE the calories and soooo much more fat. Iāve binged almost an entire pot of it and I want to cry. Has this happened to anyone else and how did you deal with not freaking the fuck out
[Help] Advice on crankiness, fatigue, mind fog, and headaches?
/u/kVIIIwithan8 [64'' | 132lbs | 22.3| 30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 16:30:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xdoo9/advice_on_crankiness_fatigue_mind_fog_and/
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Today was rough guys. I've been sticking to an 1100 Cal maximum lately and today I clocked in at just about 400. It's going fine, I can even work out a little, but how do you guys deal with mind fog and headaches? And general crankiness and fatigue?
[Rant/Rave] 100 hours.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Feb 13 16:06:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xdj3i/100_hours/
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On mobile flare as rant or rave
I guess I still lurk because I don't have any where else to go. I don't come here for "therapy" I enjoy the empathy some people have. Others will think I am garbage and I guess that's ok cause I feel worse about my self than anyone else could put to words.
I sort of unintentionally fasted for 4 days and have no desire to eat because of a lot of anxiety right now. The scale didn't move. All I have had is black coffee and water and a Powerade zero to keep off dizzy spells today. I work the next few days and I am going to be alone on valentines day like I deserve.
So yeah this is my life I guess. Disordered garbage life.
W.
[Help] Exercising while restricting?
/u/waking_up_inside
Created: Tue Feb 13 16:06:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xdj1e/exercising_while_restricting/
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Iām back on the triggered train and Iām determined to lose at least 20lbs before May. I really really want to come out the other side with at least a little bit of toning, but whenever I diet (normally or crazily), I go to the gym and damn near pass out. I get super lightheaded or disoriented. If I eat before I go to the gym, I get nauseated to the point of throwing up. Any suggestions?
[Goal] ABC diet
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1|CW 200|GW 110|-20|22/M]
Created: Tue Feb 13 15:46:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xde46/abc_diet/
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[removed]
Can I do it?
/u/Theonewhosaysno
Created: Tue Feb 13 15:41:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xdcs2/can_i_do_it/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Trying to stop purging
/u/alexxxxis [5'9 | CW:129 | BMI: 19.2 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 15:37:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xdbuh/trying_to_stop_purging/
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So like the title says Iāve been trying to stop purging once and for all. Iāve gone a week purge free so far (not much but making progress) and I donāt wanna give up but Iāve been eating so much lately since Iām not purging it and I know Iāve gained weight, but Iām too scared to weigh myself. I donāt really know what the point of posting this is but I just needed to get this off my chest and thereās nobody irl I could talk to about this. Iāve been holding back tears all week because I can feel myself getting fatter.
[Help] My SO is taking me out for dinner tomorrow..
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Tue Feb 13 15:24:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xd8n4/my_so_is_taking_me_out_for_dinner_tomorrow/
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And I'm terrified. We are going to a Chinese restaurant and I have no idea what to even order. I've been doing so well restricting lately, I don't want to fuck it all up. Does anyone have any advice?? I'm so lucky to have my boyfriend, he's amazing. I'm just terrified I'm going to go crazy tomorrow and eat all the food. Chinese food is definitely not one of my safe foods...
[Rant/Rave] I have until July.
/u/manateens [5'4 20F | 154 / UGW 98 | BMI27]
Created: Tue Feb 13 15:16:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xd6iq/i_have_until_july/
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My SO's father is getting remarried in July. I have until then to get to my GW.
It'll be the first time I've met his dad's side. It'll be the first time I've seen his brother since relapsing.
I want to look sickly. I want to weigh less than his brother's 4'9 girlfriend. I want to be the tiny petite delicate daughter in law. I want his nona to meet me and worry and I want to be offensive when I don't eat her handmade pasta and I want to stick out like a sore thumb.
I feel so disgusting for wanting these things. I know how awful it sounds. I can't tell my SO about any of this, he would think I'm a narcissistic monster. I want to get out of going but I know that would just make me feel more selfish than I already am. Fuck. 5 months of restricting here I come.
[Discussion] A Happy Thread: What have your recent small or big victories been? Tell me!
/u/commtra [5'7 | BMI: 20 | GW:100 | -44 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 14:49:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xczdo/a_happy_thread_what_have_your_recent_small_or_big/
---
Got stuck in a binge cycle and gained about 5kg during winter. Weighed myself today and I've lost a kg! A small victory but I sure as hell am pleased with myself.
(do not have to be weight related, I just wanna read the happiness y'all)
[Discussion] What's the most you've lost in the shortest amount of time? (Not an ED 'wanna be' don't worry!) is there really such a thing as too fast!?
/u/bronte__
Created: Tue Feb 13 14:07:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xco9f/whats_the_most_youve_lost_in_the_shortest_amount/
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Had my ED for nearly 11 years now.. constant cycle! Back and fourth.. relapse after relapse. Recently relapsed and have lost 14 lb in approx 2 weeks. My 'normal person' brain knows this is probably too much too fast.. my ED brain thinks this is taking so slow and I'm never gunna reach my GW.
So back to the title question out of curiosity?
Twitter has been Too relatable lately
/u/xwer15 [5'5| 135 | -25|GW:115| F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 13:49:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xcjge/twitter_has_been_too_relatable_lately/
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https://i.redd.it/e85bhc40m1g01.jpg
[Other] Feeling really sad (kind of off topic)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 13 13:34:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xcfg4/feeling_really_sad_kind_of_off_topic/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] It's my birthday.
/u/shrinktoavoid [F 5'7|105.6]
Created: Tue Feb 13 13:28:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xcdwi/its_my_birthday/
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Celebrating with some birthday cake flavored halo top and a birthday cake Quest bar.
February makes me so anxious because I feel like between my husbands birthday, my birthday, valentines day, and our anniversery later this month, I'm constantly having to figure out ways around eating. Why must people always use food to celebrate?? I don't want cake, I don't want chocolates, I don't want a date night at some fancy restaurant with no calorie info. No fucking thank you. Just leave me alone with my scale and safe foods.
[Discussion] Does anyone else refuse to buy themselves nice clothes until they lose enough weight?
/u/m_inimal
Created: Tue Feb 13 13:27:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xcdq1/does_anyone_else_refuse_to_buy_themselves_nice/
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I started hardcore thrifting early in high school, because I realized how much further I could make my money go, and I liked the idea of having interesting shit that no one else had. Later, when I learned about how thrifting is better for the environment and doesn't support unethical labor practices, I became even more passionate about it and started buying my clothes, except underwear and swimsuits, almost exclusively from Goodwill and Savers (along with a lot of my house wares).
The 'everything secondhand' lifestyle works for me, because while my style has shifted around over time, it often strays back to the kooky, eclectic "art teacher" look, and Goodwill really lends itself to that. Plus, even when I want to look a little more bland, you can always find stuff to match any style. It's like a treasure hunt: I build my seasonal Pinterest style board, and then go to Goodwill to hunt for things that fit that aesthetic. It's honestly so much fun and brings me a lot of joy, especially if I'm by myself so no one can rush me through the process.
However, there is another reason why I only shop at Goodwill, and it's because I don't feel I deserve nice, firsthand clothes until I lose enough weight to look cute in them. My body is so lumpy and shapeless and huge that it seems like a waste to a) hunt endlessly through "real" stores for things that will flatter it, which always elude me, b) go through the emotional trauma of trying on actually nice, well-made clothes and see how clearly mismatched they are to my body, reinforcing that *I* am not "well-made" and c) spend $50 or even just $20 on a top that will always look 'meh' at best, because that's the best I'm going to get with my current body.
Even though I think shopping at Goodwill is a great idea for many reasons, and I will continue to do it, I still feel a pang of jealousy and sadness whenever I see one of my friends (especially my adorable, skinny best friend, UGH) buying something new and looking amazing in it, because I know that until I get back to my LW, there's simply no chance of me ever measuring up to that level.
Finally, another weird dimension of this whole issue is that I can never decide whether I want to dress like a boy or a girl. I flip flop back and forth all the time, and having a Goodwill wardrobe helps me afford that. But being thin is always a good thing no matter what. I feel both more feminine (girly, dainty, delicate) AND more androgynous when I'm at a lower weight.
Anyone else?
[Discussion] [discussion] Do you guys pre-plan your binges or do they just happen?
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW:š| GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 13:09:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xc8uy/discussion_do_you_guys_preplan_your_binges_or_do/
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I do both. Sometimes if Iām really upset Iāll go on an unplanned emotional binge and just eat everything in sight.
But other times I have pre-planned a binge session. One time I went to GiGiās Cupcakes (for those of you who are unfamiliar, thatās a cupcake chain in the US and the calorie amount for a cupcake is about 600-800 cals). Anyways, I went there and ordered a dozen cupcakes on my way home from school, locked myself in my bedroom, and proceeded to eat them all over the course of the evening. Idk why I did it. After the 3rd or so cupcake my sweet tooth had been satisfied but I kept going
I have done this other times too. Itās really strange
Im exited
/u/aristocat2 [172 cm | 58 kg | BMI 19.7 | 10 kg | 19Female]
Created: Tue Feb 13 12:48:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xc2we/im_exited/
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[removed]
[Help] i'm allergic to albuterolāshould i not take bronkaid/ec stacks?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | 22f]
Created: Tue Feb 13 12:31:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xby65/im_allergic_to_albuterolshould_i_not_take/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What do you guys get from Subway?
/u/cisheterpatriarchy [5'6 | 146lbs | GW: 116lbs]
Created: Tue Feb 13 12:20:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xbv3y/what_do_you_guys_get_from_subway/
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Tomorrow I'm going out with some friends and enjoying myself. I don't want to binge though so I think I'm just going to go to Subway, get a sub and a Coke. I have been fasting for 25+ hours so that comforts me I guess
+Subway has a buy 1 sub get 1 free deal for Valentines Day tomorrow!! I'm thinking of just holding the 2nd sub in my bag and then refrigerating it for the next day, or maybe I will just eat the 2nd one.
[Rant/Rave] Living in Los Angeles is a trigger life
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 11:08:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xbb7q/living_in_los_angeles_is_a_trigger_life/
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Everywhere I go are girls who could very likely possibly be one of us... and they're better at it than me. I've had eating disorders on and off for almost 2 decades and every week I see some girl at the gym with legs like pins just walking for hours or the grocery store with nothing but caffeine and coconut water and skinny arms or on a trail running lap after lap after lap... and you know they're not healthy and theyre obsessed but youre jealous that they got farther than you ever have... and you can see their faces are drawn and their eyes are dull and their hair is destroyed but they're still skinnier than you, so they win. Why'd I have to be a binge eater? Why do I always fail at restriction? I don't know what to do. Why can't I get this under control? Everywhere I go I see someone who makes me feel like I giant cow. This town is obsessed with image and all the diet fads make disordered eating seem so normal. Everyone I know is fasting or vegan or something that excuses them from eating freely. They all count calories and spend hours reading labels. They abuse cocaine and adderal and whatever it takes to stay at a "casting friendly" weight. I feel like I live in anti-recovery-ville USA. Fuck.
[Intro] Left treatment 4 days ago after having to gain 69lbs back on the restriction train
/u/gothicapples
Created: Tue Feb 13 11:04:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xba3i/left_treatment_4_days_ago_after_having_to_gain/
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I am a 25 year old female
Iām 5,7 and currently weigh 147 (bmi of 23.0)
My weight before treatment was 78 (bmi 12.2)
That was my lowest weight so far
really thought this time It would stick this was my 5 residential program in 5 years
I was there for full time for 6 months and part time for the last 11 weeks
Not including hospitalization for low potassium ,low blood sugar ,low heart rate just all the lows your body can have
I really suck at introducing myself
If you have any questions let me know
[Rant/Rave] Im getting more depressed as the scale goes up.
/u/ms_ireneadler2
Created: Tue Feb 13 10:47:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xb5h1/im_getting_more_depressed_as_the_scale_goes_up/
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I just realized that the only time in the past few years that Ive been sort of happy, is when I was consistently restricting and losing. Ever since last June, Ive slowly been gaining and getting more and more depressed. Im feeling myself sink back to where I was a few yrs ago(as far as my depression) .
I just feel so out of control, helpless, and disgusting lately. The more I try to restrict like I did a year ago, the more I binge. Im absolutely miserable. I seriously dont think I can be happy until I can get back to restricting. I just feel so disgusted with myself otherwise.
Anyways, rant over. Can anyone give any advice on getting back into restricting? I vaguely remember that the first few days if restricting after binging/eating normally were the hardest. If I could just get through one proper day of restricting, I would be so fucking happy. Ugh.
[Other] Guilt over weight loss
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 13 10:20:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xay0t/guilt_over_weight_loss/
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[deleted]
Can someone explain this tomfoolery? This isn't how anything works.
/u/idontevenliketeatbh [23F 5'3" | cw.154 | ugw.100 | lost.45lbs ā ]
Created: Tue Feb 13 09:49:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xapvu/can_someone_explain_this_tomfoolery_this_isnt_how/
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https://imgur.com/UAdXqt9
[Rant/Rave] Typical
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 13 09:24:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xaj8o/typical/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Should I talk about my eating disorder in therapy?
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Tue Feb 13 09:20:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xai3l/should_i_talk_about_my_eating_disorder_in_therapy/
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I'm in therapy for ocd, depression and anxiety. However, I'm really struggling with my eating disorder and I feel like I should talk to someone about it. But I don't want to recover, as I still have 10+ kg to lose. What will happen if I tell my therapist? I'm at a healthy weight so it's not like she can force me to recover, right?
I purposefully triggered a migraine so that I'd be too nauseous to eat.
/u/PleaseLoveMeAgain [5'2 | CW: 121.2lbs | GW: 110lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 09:17:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xah7j/i_purposefully_triggered_a_migraine_so_that_id_be/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] EMERGENCY: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 84lbs | 15.9 | -23lbs | f]
Created: Tue Feb 13 08:47:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7xa9fm/emergency_this_is_not_a_drill/
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Everyday- EVERYDAY- at school, i get a parfait for breakfast, because the parfait comes with a 90cal cereal bar i can have at lunchtime when i get faint.
BUT NOT TODAY.
Today, it comes with a MUCH LARGER AND DENSER CEREAL BAR that has 150 calories!!!
I can only imagine the look of panic the cafeteria lady must have seen cross my face as she handed it to me.
Like an anorexic dear in the headlights.
[Rant/Rave] I'm tired
/u/Sb22312
Created: Tue Feb 13 07:33:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x9r9j/im_tired/
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I feel stuck, I want to recover but I don't even know what that means . I'm so tired of having a ED . I'm tired of not being able to eat a sandwich . I'm tired of being the only one not eating lunch , avoiding questions. Im tired of eating the same foods all the time. I'm tired of being tired . I'm forcing myself to work out. I'm tired of being hungry all the time but not being able to just eat .
[Rant/Rave] Thanks dad. Now I want to die.
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" |CW 54kg |BMI 19| GW:48kg| Female]
Created: Tue Feb 13 07:00:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x9jwv/thanks_dad_now_i_want_to_die/
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[removed]
[Other] Looking into EC stacking. How much does Bronkaid usually cost? And how have your experiences been?
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Feb 13 06:44:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x9gro/looking_into_ec_stacking_how_much_does_bronkaid/
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Wanting to start this instead of my diet pills for a while. Just wondering the pricing as itās hard to find online.
I do have mild asthma so it should be easy for me to āfakeā my use and not seem too nervous. I wear my emotions soooo obviously š
Also is aspirin a good idea aka ECA?
What have been good experiences or bad and what have you used?
[Rant/Rave] Fuck drunk me
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 05:36:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x9307/fuck_drunk_me/
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So long story short, I drank a bottle of wine last night and got wasted with my bf. And during our drunkeness we had a feelings session (we both are fairly robotic and usually have set moments to discuss emotions). During this I confessed I was struggling and that I knew in order to repair my health I needed to gain weight and I was struggling to even be okay with the idea. He was 100% amazingly supportive and told me he would do everything he could, even cook all my meals for me, if that would mean helping me.
Anyway, 3am rolls around and we decide to make garlic bread, and during this time I tell him, with drunken confidence, that I am going to stop counting calories.
Fuck drunk me for making such stupid promises. Let's see how long hungover me can last in a calorie counting free world.
[Rant/Rave] CVS coupon FTW
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 117 | BMI 18.5?| -15 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 05:23:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x90n1/cvs_coupon_ftw/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday February 13, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Feb 13 05:10:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x8yku/thinspo_tuesday_february_13_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 13, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Feb 13 05:10:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x8ykb/daily_food_diary_february_13_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 13, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Apprently someone wrote a paper on us?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 13 05:10:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x8ygq/apprently_someone_wrote_a_paper_on_us/
---
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/29414146/
[Discussion] what are your body goals?
/u/cisheterpatriarchy [5'6 | 146lbs | GW: 116lbs]
Created: Tue Feb 13 05:02:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x8x7s/what_are_your_body_goals/
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mine are mostly instagram models aha. i guess this is more like fitspo than thinspo. i want to look skinny but also toned and strong
[@valeria.rey](https://www.instagram.com/valeria.rey)
[@vyvan.le](https://www.instagram.com/vyvan.le)
[@alexisren](https://www.instagram.com/alexisren)
[@bethanymoore](https://www.instagram.com/bethanymoore)
Lisa (Blackpink)
[Discussion] February 12th and 13th Questions of the day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 04:52:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x8vka/february_12th_and_13th_questions_of_the_day/
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Sorry lovelies, forgot to post yesterday ššš
12th: What is your biggest obstacle right now?
13th: What is your favorite question to ask people?
[Help] Quitting coffee made me a hungry beast
/u/Sisi21cent
Created: Tue Feb 13 02:55:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x8dve/quitting_coffee_made_me_a_hungry_beast/
---
Hello everyone,
Basically Iām a caffeine lover (drinking at least 5 expressos a day, after that I donāt even count anymore). But I decided to put an end to it. My teeth and stomach appreciate it very much. Why I decided to quit? Believe it or not I was making myself seriously tired with all the ups and downs all day every day. And truth to be told...I feel better on that regard. And my anxiety is also much better. The problem? Iām EATING like I havenāt been eating for a very long time. Even BF which is something I skipped easily, now I wake up super hungry. And this doesnāt go away for the rest of the day. Iām studying for a very important exam and right now canāt restrict on purpose. Any tips from all of you? Thanks in advance :)))
[Discussion] Do your friends / SO / family know about your ED?
/u/losemore [5ā9.5 | oink | 22F | UGW 100lbs]
Created: Tue Feb 13 02:34:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x8b2a/do_your_friends_so_family_know_about_your_ed/
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Iāve had disordered eating for around 5 years now, and I was thinking tonight, that hardly anyone who knows me irl knows about it. Only really one of my exes and a couple of my close friends, and I felt absolutely ridiculous telling them because Iām not and have never been at an underweight BMI so I felt like they thought I was faking it, stupid mindset, I know.
Is there anyone in here whoās ED is public knowledge?! ie: discussed freely among friends / partners / family? When did you tell them about your ED?
Iām curious to hear about other peoples experiences with this.
[Help] How do you deal with a āplateauā?
/u/MellowKittyCat
Created: Tue Feb 13 02:16:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x88au/how_do_you_deal_with_a_plateau/
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[removed]
[Discussion] FrUiT!
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Tue Feb 13 01:28:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x81n2/fruit/
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I've been somewhat reliant on fruit for almost 3 years now-- for some reason, my mind is grasoing on to some notion I developed 3-4 years ago that "fruit is never bad, eat as much as you want"
And I think it could be interfering with my weight loss, although honestly, maybe that's just my ED being sensitive to looking at all of the calories it can rack up some days on MFP
What are your thoughts on fruits?! :)
[Rant/Rave] I used to binge on these all the time and until now have been too scared to look up the calories. oh my fucking god.
/u/isaezraa
Created: Tue Feb 13 00:28:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x7swy/i_used_to_binge_on_these_all_the_time_and_until/
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https://i.redd.it/swhuq617nxf01.jpg
[Help] Experience with residential treatment?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 13 00:27:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x7sqj/experience_with_residential_treatment/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Knowing naturally skinny people
/u/glossboy
Created: Tue Feb 13 00:16:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x7r4a/knowing_naturally_skinny_people/
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We all know a naturally skinny friend or relative. They drive me fucking insane. My mother is one of those people. Always 95 lbs or under. She easily says no to food because she doesn't *feel* like eating it. She can't eat more food because she'll feel like throwing up. She won't want to eat anything if she's mad or stressed.
My friend is also like this. They have to use myfitnesspal to *gain* weight. Sometimes they go throughout a day just eating 200 calories or less because they forgot to eat.
How do these people exist where they don't constantly think about food and stress over it and just naturally don't eat. God I wish that were me. I wish I just naturally didn't want to eat.
[Discussion] Abusing drugs
/u/yungbrrrat [5'8 | 140lb | BMI: 21 ]
Created: Mon Feb 12 23:39:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x7l8c/abusing_drugs/
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does anyone else use class As to subdue appetite?
i use coke frequently and the fact that it hides hunger is just a bonus
also psychedelics like LSD have kept me up for ten hours without eating
as someone with OSFED and BDD, taking drugs that hide hunger is like a safe haven because for once, i'm not thinking about food or binging.
i'm not even worried about getting into a habit because they're the only thing that makes me feel like myself anymore
[Help] I'm officially fat by medical standards. Please help me; I don't know how to fix this.
/u/EllaSuaveterre
Created: Mon Feb 12 23:34:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x7kgu/im_officially_fat_by_medical_standards_please/
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[removed]
[Help] I'm officially fat. I don't know how to fix this.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 12 23:20:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x7i09/im_officially_fat_i_dont_know_how_to_fix_this/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x7i09/im_officially_fat_i_dont_know_how_to_fix_this/
[Rant/Rave] FUCK YOU, PESTO
/u/losemore [5ā9.5 | oink | 22F | UGW 100lbs]
Created: Mon Feb 12 21:35:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x6xsd/fuck_you_pesto/
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For the last two weeks, Iāve been restricting to between 200-400 calories a day.
Today I was sitting at work, unable to concentrate and just *hangry*
I made my way down to the staff kitchen and almost in a daze, opened the fridge door and pulled out a tub of pesto, proceeded to get a spoon, *and eat the whole thing by itself*
And oh my god, it was so good. So, so, good. I fucking *love* pesto.
After I had finished the tub, I realised what I had just done and looked at the amount of calories it contained. 675. Fuck.
I tried to justify it to myself by telling myself it was the only thing I had eaten all day, but then remembered the 2 Apples I had eaten this morning, and the coffee I had for lunch with actual sugar in it since I was out of splenda
All up Iām probably on around 980 calories for today.
The rational side of my brain is telling me that itās under 1000, and still a lower intake than what a normal adult would need daily to function, but the ED side is *losing itās shit*. Thoughts of how bad Iāve fucked up, that Iāve gained 10 pounds from that binge, that Iām never going to be thin, that Iām never going to be in control.
This is fucking exhausting.
The plan for the rest of the day is to fast and also fast tomorrow to make up for the calories I ate today, because Iām trying to stay under 400 calories until I hit my goal weight.
This post doesnāt really have a point. I just needed to rant about my fucking pesto:///
[Rant/Rave] Whyyyyy
/u/alivebut-justbarely
Created: Mon Feb 12 21:27:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x6waa/whyyyyy/
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[removed]
[Other] Weighing prepackaged food...
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 21:25:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x6vxq/weighing_prepackaged_food/
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https://i.redd.it/i60gmx8iqwf01.png
[Discussion] Someone else post about this and they just posted this.
/u/inxthewolf1
Created: Mon Feb 12 21:04:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x6rmu/someone_else_post_about_this_and_they_just_posted/
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https://i.redd.it/ybb42kstmwf01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I thought it was a secret but it wasn't.
/u/Wisdomtoothinquiry
Created: Mon Feb 12 20:59:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x6qfe/i_thought_it_was_a_secret_but_it_wasnt/
---
Full disclosure disclaimer: I've been binging for a few weeks now and I've gained five pounds. I've also had a few. These factors combined have made me vulnerable and prone to over sharing.
Tonight, I decided to bring up my eating issues with my husband. I've been feeling so guilty about trying to hide my relationship with food from him because we're normally honest about everything, even the rough stuff. He responded, "Do you think I haven't noticed?". We talked openly about how differently we view our bodies and food. I had no idea how much he had picked up on. This whole time I thought I was lying and hiding my disordered behavior and it turns out, I just have a partner who let me disclose at my own pace. I'm so grateful this conversation happened. I feel shitty about my weight gain but I no longer feel like a liar and it's such a huge weight off my shoulders.
[Rant/Rave] I had too much caffeine, and each time I convince myself it's the worst it's been so I'm going to post to distract myself.
/u/HipHopEchidna
Created: Mon Feb 12 20:51:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x6ovh/i_had_too_much_caffeine_and_each_time_i_convince/
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So I do this dumb thing every time I overeat but not really, like when I meet my calorie goals but I see the scale go up because I've eaten something type of thing.
I bought caffeine pills online. And every time I take a high dose (generally between 800-1200 mg) I lose a lot of water weight, and my appetite is effectively killed for the next day. Which is nice, besides for the fact that it feels like Hades himself has taken personal offense to my digestive track.
And every single time, I convince myself that I'm dying, and that it can't get any worse.
Well hi, this is my first post here. Heed my warning and don't take a lot of caffeine pills. On the plus side, I've developed a generalized aversion to pills because of this, so the safety rating of any parties I may attend when I start college next year has gone up by like 60%.
Everything hurts and I think I'm dying.
Why. Am. I. Like. This.
Hope your week is going better than mine.
EDIT: Iām now standing in my bathroom, in pain, looking at the vomit Iāll have to clean up. On the bright side, at least Iām not nauseated anymore.
[Help] Zoloft and Weight Gain
/u/scaredshatless
Created: Mon Feb 12 20:25:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x6jby/zoloft_and_weight_gain/
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Hi. So I have recovered(ish) from an eating disorder about a year ago and am finally at a weight that I like without obsessing over it and food/exercise. I have a history of weight fluctuation and am susceptible to gaining weight easily. Anyway, I need to go on an antidepressant but Iām so, so worried about not only gaining weight (AHHHH!) but also that reopening the anorexia door. I know that going on Zoloft would have me hyper focused on food/weight/etc in order to prevent weight gain. I have tried Wellbutrin and it Helped with depression but not anxiety. Does anyone have advice or experience on Zoloft and managing weight gain? What would you do? Thanks for your help. This is an awesome sub.
[Other] "I'm STARVING"
/u/ProEdComics [5' | 19F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 20:20:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x6iey/im_starving/
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https://i.redd.it/s1vem8oxewf01.png
[Discussion] Does anyone else binge when they don't want to?
/u/Catsandhoes367
Created: Mon Feb 12 20:06:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x6fal/does_anyone_else_binge_when_they_dont_want_to/
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I have been on basically a year long binge and purge cycle. I binge when I eat three meals a day and I'm not even hungry. I feel like it's a habit at this point. I binge and purge when I'm happy, sad, bored, etc. I CANT STOP. I want to stop so bad and I can't. The only way I have been able to stop in the past is by taking drugs, but I have been sober over a year now. Does any one else have experience with this?
[Help] Anyone eating under 200 calories a day?
/u/pantsuo-haitemasen [170cm | 26F | CW: š·]
Created: Mon Feb 12 20:03:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x6epj/anyone_eating_under_200_calories_a_day/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is anyone partaking in the season of Lent?
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Mon Feb 12 19:56:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x6d4v/is_anyone_partaking_in_the_season_of_lent/
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And if so, what are you planning to do?
Iām not going to fast. I will eat fish on Fridays, no big deal. But for lent I am going to give up the scale and alcohol. These are in line with my personal recovery goals.
On Wednesday I am having a coffee date with my friend and I am planning to give him my scale, lmao. Itās gonna feel like some weird comedy movie scene: girl whips out scale in public place.
āhere, take this.ā
[Discussion] In 10 years... where do you see yourself?
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |102| BMI 17.5| GW 96 lbs |32 y/o]
Created: Mon Feb 12 19:39:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x69d5/in_10_years_where_do_you_see_yourself/
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[Discussion] Netflix movies
/u/EstesParkRanger
Created: Mon Feb 12 19:28:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x675e/netflix_movies/
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Are there any movies on Netflix about ED other than To The Bone?
[Discussion] dae really struggle to gag themselves?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 12 19:03:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x61jx/dae_really_struggle_to_gag_themselves/
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[deleted]
[Other] New ED song called āProā
/u/qu1et1
Created: Mon Feb 12 18:58:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x60dw/new_ed_song_called_pro/
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https://youtu.be/hzxMcmCGDS4
[Discussion] what's your TDEE?
/u/cisheterpatriarchy [5'6 | 146lbs | GW: 116lbs]
Created: Mon Feb 12 18:33:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x5uv0/whats_your_tdee/
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mine is 1650, just sitting around doing nothing. However it's like 2100 if i decide to exercise.
[Help] Slurry words constantly, not sure if ED related but this sub reddit is my š also forced a planned binge this weekend idk what is up with my brain š§
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Mon Feb 12 18:28:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x5tqg/slurry_words_constantly_not_sure_if_ed_related/
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For the past week I keep slurring my words, saying things backwards, finding it really hard to comprehend people and have been hearing things people say to me wrong. I feel impossible to converse with and keep getting laughed at for saying things funny, great at work šš
I am beyond frustrated and feel my mind is just broken, Iām feeling pretty paranoid because just strange things have been happening in my life in general.
I also planned to binge- B/P this weekend. I bought a bunch of stuff and just didnāt want it which is not me at all. I literally forced myself to eat it all to get rid of it quickly. I feel disgusting. I didnāt have that binge high, I made myself eat it, I was worried to eat it all throughout the week and couldnāt throw it out with my boyfriend being home. Whyyyy did I do this! Iām so upset about this!!
[Rant/Rave] 20F4M - I'm pudgy...
/u/LynnieTheLemon
Created: Mon Feb 12 18:27:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x5tjv/20f4m_im_pudgy/
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So my new boyfriend is a little too honest with me. I mean, I love him but sometimes I wish that he would spare me my feelings and just kinda, not so much lie, but atleast be nicer about his choice of words. I told him that I have an ED and he doesn't seem to be really sympathetic about it. He hasn't called me fat, but he doesn't seem to understand that pudgy carries the same connotation as fat to me. And he squeezes my tummy!!! UUGUGHGHHGHGGHGHH I wanna crawl into a hole and die!! I fucking feel like such a fat pig!! I'm so gross, my ribs stick out but my stomach is still there!! WHHYYY???!?!?!? And I feel like shit for abusing my body but things like this don't make it any easier! Sorry for the rant, I feel kinda dumb about this but I feel like you guys are the only ones who'll understand.
[Discussion] Anyone here eats dinner with their family?
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Mon Feb 12 18:01:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x5nl0/anyone_here_eats_dinner_with_their_family/
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How are you like at dinner time? What are your family members like?
[Discussion] How do you count calories when cooking?
/u/Disputeanocean
Created: Mon Feb 12 17:52:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x5lj4/how_do_you_count_calories_when_cooking/
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Iām making a soup with lots of veggies and things. Iām adding up all of the ingredients calories then divine them by portions.
Example: Soup is 1,000 cal. I measure the amount then divide it into 10 for 100 calorie portions. What do you guys do ā¤ļø
[Help] Help with things to eat that might seem weird to others but are great for restricting?
/u/Ironicbanana14
Created: Mon Feb 12 17:29:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x5g4j/help_with_things_to_eat_that_might_seem_weird_to/
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Honestly the only things I know are broth and some types of pickles. I need things that fulfil my munchies because I get high and eat regardless. I wanna stock up my house with snacks or full size meals that have nice satisfactory tastes and textures so I don't end up munchie binging. Also I get cravings when high, I'd love suggestions for weird food or anything like that that will help with cravings!
[Help] Going out to eat- help me figure out what to get?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 17:01:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x59ic/going_out_to_eat_help_me_figure_out_what_to_get/
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My roommates and I are going out to an Italian restaurant tonight for a celebration. Iām excited but anxious because Italian food is my favourite but also can be super high calorie, and I donāt want to get anything that would look suspicious (just a salad or something). I havenāt eaten today in anticipation so I can probably do ~600 cals without feeling too terrible but I have no idea what would be safe or not- any suggestions? Sorry if this is weird or not allowed, and thanks for all your help!
[Discussion] Sinus pain while EC stacking?
/u/InterchangeableMoon [Height 5'0" | CW 110 | GW 98 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 17:00:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x599m/sinus_pain_while_ec_stacking/
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Anyone have this experience? How do you deal with it? I try to EC stack around when I go to the gym, but the sinus pain is almost debilitating. Itās hard to focus on exercise when it feels like Iām being stabbed in the face every time I breathe?
[Other] Anonymous support subreddit for those of us with b/p subtype
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 71 lbs | 13.4 | 9 lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Feb 12 16:47:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x55zg/anonymous_support_subreddit_for_those_of_us_with/
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/r/bpbuds, because bingeing can be fucking embarrassing (at least for me).
HOW IT WORKS:
A daily thread is posted in contest mode. Parent comments (and maybe child comments? idk how it works) will have usernames hidden. This allows anonymous support. If you have something relevant to say that is not appropriate for the daily thread, make your own post, but be aware that it will have to be approved and will not be anonymous.
I hope this helps people.
EDIT: If anyone can set up automod for the subreddit, I would love it. Right now I can't vent because as the creator of the thread my username still shows up. If automod made the threads I think that would make it so that I can post too.
[Help] Advice on how to deal with this adderall comedown?
/u/bad_crash
Created: Mon Feb 12 16:42:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x54xq/advice_on_how_to_deal_with_this_adderall_comedown/
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I take adderall to help me get shit done and it kills my appetite for a bit, but once it even starts to wear off... HOOOOoo boooOOOoOoiiii
I'm depressed as shit. Like I am having a hard time with everything.
I tried drinking some coffee, ate a little, and am about to chug water in hopes to get better. Nothings worked.
Any advice?
[Rant/Rave] Running my fingers down this reemerged spine is my version of doing lines of coke
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |102| BMI 17.5| GW 96 lbs |32 y/o]
Created: Mon Feb 12 16:08:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x4woh/running_my_fingers_down_this_reemerged_spine_is/
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I've been losing weight since leaving residential. I'm carving space and shrinking again. As I fumble through old journal pages, I wonder if I should stop. Once upon a time, I had hope.
But the high sends a rush of euphoria as I find home within myself. I don't need anyone or anything, I just need to my fingers to caress this almost forgotten treasure. I feel more and more addicted as I travel down this road. I'm building a pathway for the sadness of my inner core to the outside to feel real and promises of freedom.
I will do anything for it. Will I? Yes. Lie. Cheat. Steal. Betray.
Lost in addiction, and going deeper.
I should stop. I'm not supposed to be here. In the distance, life calls out. But what she has to offer doesn't compare to this promise of safety etched in bone.
[Rant/Rave] Binging on the weekends
/u/seitansmistress
Created: Mon Feb 12 15:40:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x4pfs/binging_on_the_weekends/
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Hi buddies,
Im hoping this is the right place to talk about this. There's no one in my life that i can tell this to without them feeling like they need to take immediate action.
Ive been starving myself throughout the week. Snacking on nuts and oatmeal and diet coke to make it through. I have a wonderful bf and he knows about my ED past. Ive been able to hide the starving throughout the week from him fairly well. But we live together so we spend all weekend together. So i am forced to eat all weekend. Maybe its not binging. Maybe its just eating a normal amount and i feel guilty just for that.
Ive been avoiding my therapist. I am frightened by how quickly ive picked up my old habits, but i dont want to stop. Ive looked into ED support groups in my area but im worried ill show up and see women smaller than me and that will be a trigger. Fuck.
I dont know why im posting, i just need to be heard.
[Other] When your bf forgets youāre restricting this week š
/u/Bluelilly582 [5'3" | CW 146 lbs | GW 130| BMI 24 |]
Created: Mon Feb 12 15:40:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x4pdw/when_your_bf_forgets_youre_restricting_this_week/
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https://imgur.com/gallery/28aZF
[Help] how do i stop being bulimic?
/u/cammie5
Created: Mon Feb 12 15:32:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x4ng2/how_do_i_stop_being_bulimic/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else being forced to celebrate Shrove Tuesday/Pancake Day/Mardi Gras? Fuck this stupid day
/u/skinnyinscrubs [5ā5.5ā | CW 114 | BMI 18.7 | GW1 112 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 14:50:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x4cq6/anyone_else_being_forced_to_celebrate_shrove/
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I'm not really religious in any way but my family celebrate this day every year with mountains of food, mainly pancakes covered with syrups and chocolate and other fatty sugary stuff. I've no idea how to get out of it but the thought of eating so much tomorrow is making me sick.
[Rant/Rave] Watched myself in a video
/u/Fibreoptic_Calico
Created: Mon Feb 12 14:49:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x4cdb/watched_myself_in_a_video/
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And I'm done.
I filmed myself and I regret it. Not only and am I incredibly unattractive (like I didn't already know) but my hair is shit, my face lopsided and jowly and I'm just so god damn fat. I'm also beginning to look really old.
I've lost so much weight recently, and thought I could maybe pass as a normal sized human, but I was so wrong. I took some selfies earlier, just for fun and thought for once I looked ok-ish. Ok enough to do the video thing, but it's just dreadful.
The mirror lies, as do carefully posed photos.
Apparently I was lying to myself, when I thought I was already so in tune with what a gross person I am. So much for thinking about 'recovery' I have just created my own thinspo.
Hello fasting.
Why am I like this ĀÆ\\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
I'm tired of my family silently celebrating when they see me eating.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 12 14:45:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x4bd3/im_tired_of_my_family_silently_celebrating_when/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x4bd3/im_tired_of_my_family_silently_celebrating_when/
My partner has an ED I donāt really understand it and I think itās only fair that I do
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 12 14:30:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x47er/my_partner_has_an_ed_i_dont_really_understand_it/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x47er/my_partner_has_an_ed_i_dont_really_understand_it/
[Rant/Rave] The battle against babyface
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 84lbs | 15.9 | -23lbs | f]
Created: Mon Feb 12 14:11:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x429x/the_battle_against_babyface/
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I have the usual ED-concerns- my thighs, my stomach, you know the drill.
But in addition to those run-of-the-treadmill worries, I have this baby face topping it all off.
Not like, I look a little young.
Like i'm turning 18 next week and i just got denied a ticket to a PG-13 movie.
I look like a fucking middle schooler.
I'm 5'2" with shoes on, I gave up on bras because I'd rather free-boob it than submit to training bras as a grown-ass woman, and I couldn't find my way around a makeup brush with laser guidance technology.
My self-imposed hunger is perhaps the only thing that gives me any relief from the constant condescension i receive.
I get to feel refined, controlled, in a single area of my life. My only comfort is the slight sharpening of my jaw, the reduction in my cheeks, and the constant dark circles under my eyes that hint that maybe i'm more than a child.
I just want to be taken seriously.
And apparently, the only serious thing about me, is my illness.
[Discussion] Favorite soup packets/cups?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 13:59:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x3yy7/favorite_soup_packetscups/
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I technically have a kitchen, but my apartment is gross so given that my room is big I treat it like a studio. I have a bunch of kitchen appliances that make cooking relatively easy, but I just can't make myself cook these days. But I do have a kettle and thought that soup cups or packets I can put into a mug would be great to have around in my stash.
[Rant/Rave] I want to cut my hair but Iām too fat for a short haircut
/u/dogsquad420
Created: Mon Feb 12 13:50:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x3wg9/i_want_to_cut_my_hair_but_im_too_fat_for_a_short/
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If I was skinny, I could pull off so many fun looks and fashion choices. I want a bob but my giant mane is kind of a safety shield for me. Iām still at almost 190 pounds.
Loosing weight is hard because I donāt want to throw up my medications so Iām trying to keep all my food down, and Iāve been sad bingeing. No more sad binges! Water and vegetables and lean meats and fasting!
As soon as I hit 175 Iām going for the snip. I can do this.
[Discussion] An new contender
/u/honey_tarot
Created: Mon Feb 12 13:49:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x3w9x/an_new_contender/
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I always hear about how people watch my 600 lb life and mukbang and various shows to make them lose their appetite. Recently Iāve been interested in the sweaty palm subreddit and have found my appetite completely Gone after watching some of the stunts there. They make me so nauseous and sea sick -0-
[Discussion] There's something kinda "off" about this Insta account.
/u/KingOfBelarus [Height 5'10 | Weight Lost: never enough]
Created: Mon Feb 12 13:46:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x3vj9/theres_something_kinda_off_about_this_insta/
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Do you agree? Someone posted this girl's account on another website's forum and suggested that the girl's mother is faking the "help" she's giving to her daughter. Some people suspect the mother's actually an enabler and that she's basically trying to keep her daughter dependent on her and in a child-like state. I'm not gonna jump to conclusions here but I too am suspicious of the mother, considering she's posting half the photos and speaking for Ashley. this is her account @ashleyshalleat
Starbucks was out of sugar free caramel...
/u/InfernalCoconut [24-F-5'9- GW: 140]
Created: Mon Feb 12 13:30:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x3r6f/starbucks_was_out_of_sugar_free_caramel/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Can we take a second to discuss matcha?
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 13:19:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x3o3t/can_we_take_a_second_to_discuss_matcha/
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I got a little packet of matcha powder in a vegan sample box some time ago, and I finally decided to try it. Iāve never had matcha before, and here are the things it says on the packaging:
137x Antioxidants than Brewed Green Tea with 2x the Taste
Great for Skin health
Boost Metabolism
Improve Focus
High in Fiber
Burn calories
(Yes, with those exact annoying and inconsistent capitalizations)
Sounds great, right?
So I try it, I make the drink the way it says to. It tastes like severely oversteeped green tea (which I guess makes sense) but also weirdly sea weed-y, but whatever.
I donāt know what I thought matcha was, I guess I thought it was just ground up tea leaves? But I go to plug it into MFP and itās fucking 60 CALORIES, what the fuuuuck! I just googled it, itās āfinely ground powder of specially grown and processed green tea leavesā. My package said itās 4 g, thereās no possible way that 4 g of green leaves is 60 calories, right? I would think 16 cal at most, if itās all carbs, but they claim itās high in fiber, which wouldnāt count. Can someone fucking enlighten me?
(In my head, Iām thinking of it as super strong tea, rotovaped down to the solids, if anyone knows that means š thatās what I also think about when I use instant coffee)
[Help] Does anyone have suggestions for cardio that wonāt work out legs?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 12:56:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x3htm/does_anyone_have_suggestions_for_cardio_that_wont/
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I usually do the elliptical or run and I love cardio because it burns so many calories but my leg muscles are naturally giant and Iām worried that those sort of exercises are maintaining the muscle. Does anyone have suggestions for cardio that doesnāt involve legs or ways to get leg muscles to shrink?
[Other] would anyone want a valentines card in the mail?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 99.2 | 17.6 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 12:37:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x3cm2/would_anyone_want_a_valentines_card_in_the_mail/
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maybe this is too OT, so if so please let me know. But i have several extra kids valentines day cards with no one left to send them to. theyre zombie themed and come with a temporary tattoo. TBH I thought of this sub first cause i feel like most of us will be mostly dreading valentines and i thought if i could brighten someons day (probably a day or two after valentines tbh mail aint that fast) then id be happy to.
UPDATE: I'm all out of cards now. But i hope you guys have a happy valentines day!!
[Thinspo] Oh wow look it's me
/u/PoemOfLifeItself [Height 5'6 | CW 97 | BMI 15.7| LW 82| Chair]
Created: Mon Feb 12 12:23:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x38vm/oh_wow_look_its_me/
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https://i.redd.it/a8zfhemv1uf01.jpg
[Goal] Three more pounds til Iām not obese anymore.
/u/Chubbywaif
Created: Mon Feb 12 12:16:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x36v0/three_more_pounds_til_im_not_obese_anymore/
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I used to have gorgeous collar bones and hip bones. Iām excited to see them start peeking out again. I still have at least 65 lbs still to go but Iām proud of the 15 Iāve managed to drop in the last month.
Little victories.
[Rant/Rave] [help][rant][feeling hopeless] Why the *hell* am I not losing weight?!?!?
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW:š| GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 12:15:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x36oh/helprantfeeling_hopeless_why_the_hell_am_i_not/
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I cried when I stepped on the scale this morning and saw the same weight I have been seeing for the past 3 months. I gained during the holidays but lost it and now have been stuck back at 158 for a month. Iām only 5ā3ā so itās not like Iām even close to a healthy weight. Idk what the fuck Iām doing wrong. I restrict anywhere from 700-900 all week except for one 1200 day. I log religiously. I weigh food. I workout a few days a week.
What is going on? I was losing more consistently doing 1200 everyday and not exercising!!! Iām so fucking mad and frustrated. I wanted to be in the 140ās by my family reunion next month but it looks like that isnāt fucking happening now despite me being more dedicated than ever. Now I just wanna binge and eat my feeling cuz Iām so upset. I just fucking hate this.
**Edit*: Guys, Iām PMSing and Iām dumb. It all makes sense now. Sorry for the psychotic rant, itās the hormones talking, I swear lol. Iāll probably drop 3lbs next week. We all good hopefully. Stupid periods. Though if I donāt lose anything by next week Iām gonna have an issue haha**
[Discussion] Does anyone else "reward" themselves with this sub?
/u/justalittlesmaller [5'2" | 89 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 12:10:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x3577/does_anyone_else_reward_themselves_with_this_sub/
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I have this weird thing where I only let myself browse this sub if I weigh in at less than 90 lbs in the morning, lol. I definitely have OCD tendencies along with my ED so I guess it makes sense. Do any of you do anything similar?
Any EC Stackers use a monthly pill organizer?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 11:56:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x31l3/any_ec_stackers_use_a_monthly_pill_organizer/
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I'm thinking about doing this so that it's not so thought intensive. I found [this](https://www.amazon.com/Aidapt-Colourful-Month-Pill-Organiser/dp/B00IHUPV1S/ref=sr_1_4_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1518461597&sr=8-4&keywords=pill+organizer+monthly) which will work because I don't usually take a third dose as it makes me really light-headed. Has anyone had success/failure with this?
[Discussion] how do you recover after a binge?
/u/cisheterpatriarchy
Created: Mon Feb 12 11:47:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x2yvo/how_do_you_recover_after_a_binge/
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do you have any routines you go through after a binge that prevent it happening again for a while and make you feel better?
i drink a warm cup of tea after a binge, just try and forget about it and either restrict or fast the next day. i can't say it prevents another binge from happening but it makes me feel better. i also get an impulse to exercise but usually i'm too lazy to do that
[Discussion] He Grabbed My Stomach
/u/labratte1996 [165 cm,CW 56 kg| Binge Free Days: 11? | HW 65 kg | GW/LW 49 kg]
Created: Mon Feb 12 11:36:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x2w0z/he_grabbed_my_stomach/
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My boyfriend and and I are laying on my bed and even though I just lost 1 pound, I'm bloated because that's just what happens when I eat much later than usual. He puts his hand on my stomach and is caressing me there(not my favorite thing, but ok). Then he has the bright idea to grasp my tummy, jiggle it and say "big belly". I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
I just wanted to share this. Not really meant to be meaningful. It happened a couple of days ago, but I'm _still_ thinking about it. Which sucks because I know he probably doesn't mean it in a bad way, but this combined with him telling me that I should start doing something to "see what I'd look like with abs".
It's to the point where I won't even mention any thing about exercise or health in front of him( not even a "going and do some cardio now, later" like I used to) because I'm genuinely scared he's gonna say something to trigger a binge.
[Help] Advice on my parents new partner buying me food.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 12 11:34:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x2vfi/advice_on_my_parents_new_partner_buying_me_food/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x2vfi/advice_on_my_parents_new_partner_buying_me_food/
[Rant/Rave] Been lurking. Gotta vent.
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1|CW 200|GW 110|-20|22/M]
Created: Mon Feb 12 11:23:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x2sf5/been_lurking_gotta_vent/
---
So my stats are probably inaccurate now but it's whatever. I'm still disgustingly fat. I started exercising, which sometimes makes me feel ok eating a bit more. Last night one of my male friends who is super fit/muscly was talking to me about how it will take a long time to lose the weight and not to get discouraged which was a massive trigger. I see other friends going days without eating (some intentional some not), and I'm SICK with jealousy. Looks like I might be around some more in the near future..
[Help] question(s) for people who take adderall
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | 22f]
Created: Mon Feb 12 11:17:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x2qt7/questions_for_people_who_take_adderall/
---
so, i'm pretty sure that i have ADD. i've had symptoms of it for a long time (being unaware of things in my physical reality, naturally procrastinating things that will take concentrated effort, major trouble paying attention) and everyone else in my family has it. when i save the money and find someplace that works with my shitty insurance, i want to get tested and hopefully get adderall or vyvanse for it (used to buy it under the table, but i moved away from my dealer smh).
my question for people who take adderall: if you take it for ADD/ADHD, and you stop taking it or stop and restart, are the symptoms really intense/noticeable? also, realistically has it lowered or suppressed your appetite?
[Rant/Rave] duality
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | 22f]
Created: Mon Feb 12 11:03:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x2mvc/duality/
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i thought that i was doing okay. i thought that i was doing better.
i had graduated from college early with exceptional grades and a commendation from my department, i had moved to another city and gotten a job. i'm "on a break" from a relationship with a partner whom i love but who enabled my e.d. and unhealthy relationship with alcohol. until a few days ago, i felt mentally, emotionally, and physically better. healthier. i stopped recording calories, started telling myself that i could maintain this weight and be happy. i look petite rather than starved and sick. if i keep going like this, i could maybe find something akin to recovery.
and here i am, caught in this horrible duality between eating intuitively and relapsing back into restriction. this deep sense of carelessness urges me to eat whatever i want (quesadillas were a HUGE fear food forever but i can eat a quesadilla now because who cares? 600 calories doesn't seem like *that much* anymore, because if i eat 1,200 calories today i can just make it through tomorrow on iced coffee and gum). but then i see my face in the mirror and feel utterly repulsed. the food anxiety is resurfacing. i can see and feel my body evening out, losing its hard edges, and it scares me. i want the lightness back.
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else watch Mukbangs/gross amateur cooking shows? And then feel kinda bad?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 190 lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 10:46:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x2i1b/does_anyone_else_watch_mukbangsgross_amateur/
---
When I start to get hungry outside my eating window at night, sometimes I'll watch Simply Sara or Hungry Fatchick or Nickado Avocado on youtube either making some really gross unhealthy food or eating a ton at once.
I dunno, I feel bad doing it sometimes, because these people are clearly killing themselves. Hungry Fatchick always sounds like she's about to cry :( and Simply Sara regularly disables comments on her videos (I'm guessing when they get too mean).
Nickado usually seems pretty happy lol, so I don't feel as bad watching him.
I dunno, it's like a weird combination of anti-thinso, vicariously enjoying the binge, and trying to put myself off of food by watching something gross.
I guess I feel bad because I have some not-very-close friends that are "fans" of Sara's that sometimes post videos of her's in our group chat, waxing on and on about how perfect she is, and how delicious all her food looks, she's an angel, she's the perfect woman, etc. It all makes me feel really uneasy, and it strikes me as really mean-spirited that they pretend to find her SO ATTRACTIVE and PERFECT. It's pretty fucked, because they have no idea what it's like to have issues with over eating. And it really feels like they're making fun of her? I mean at least when I watch the videos I do it honestly. But does that really make it less mean? :(
Sorry for rambling, these just seem like genuinely sweet people, and I feel like I'm using them, and being mean to them.
[Goal] Bye bye booze
/u/Douchebagette
Created: Mon Feb 12 10:46:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x2hze/bye_bye_booze/
---
Alright team we are on day three!
I didn't think I had much of a drinking problem. Most nights I wouldn't get drunk, I'd just have 1-3 drinks. Looking back however I couldn't remember the last day that I hadn't had a single drink at all. That scared me a bit. I don't know if it was a dependency or if I'm just thinking back to all the wasted calories in beer and whiskey.
I'm setting a goal for a month but unless I find that exceptionally hard I'd like to do it a lot longer, maybe 100 days?
Anyone else in the same boat? I just want to cut all the gunk out of my life because "obviously if I don't eat junk all the problems in my life that I can't control will just go away because I'll be perfect and feel happy all the time" oh hello EDemon
[Rant/Rave] Ate over 1000 calories for the first time in a while
/u/_chunkyhippo
Created: Mon Feb 12 10:23:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x2bg8/ate_over_1000_calories_for_the_first_time_in_a/
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Long time lurker, first time poster. I've had disordered eating habits since 4th grade when I looked down at my thighs bulging out. I'm 26 years old, 5', and 92 lbs.
I had a killer stomach bug this weekend and took the day off work today. I was feeling extremely weak and sick, even though I hadn't gotten sick for about 10 hours. I hadn't eaten since Friday night and was down to 89lbs.
Normally, I would take the weak and sick feeling in exchange for the weight loss. I've wanted to get down to 85lbs for reasons. However, instead, I made myself eat an actual, honest to god meal.
Okay, it was McDonald's, but it was a meal. 1,120 calories, which is more than I've eaten in an entire day in a while. Normally if I eat like that, I don't stop until I've consumed thousands more. But I'm satisfied. I feel better, which is surprising because I kind of expected to start shitting out my soul again.
I feel okay, and that is huge for me
Edit: you are all amazing. Thank you.
[Discussion] How do you guys deal with dating someone that is more in shape / attractive than you?
/u/cybermua
Created: Mon Feb 12 10:06:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x26v6/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_dating_someone_that_is/
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Current guy Iām seeing is ripped. Idk if Iāve actually seen anyone with that low of body fat but still stay really muscular. Iāve dated rail thin guys before and thatās never really bothered me. Maybe because objectively I know straight up skinniness isnāt generally a desired trait in men.
Part of me is just like, this is who you are and what you look like right now. Heās either gonna be into it or not. Besides you just got out of a year long relationship.
The other part is like wtf is he doing with this potato of a woman. For reference my BMI is probably 23-25 (Iām short itās a small margin of error). I carry a lot of my weight in my stomach (smh) and boobs.
Just wanted to see if anyone had a similar experience. Weāre meeting up again this weekend and Iām like do I fast until then?? š¤š¤
[Help] DAE have to food shop for others?
/u/MistrrrOrgasmo
Created: Mon Feb 12 09:58:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x24j2/dae_have_to_food_shop_for_others/
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Food shopping has become my responsibility between my SO and me. But the issue is I donāt know what a normal meal even looks like anymore. I feel like I get more than enough stuff for both of us. Yet he asks me what there is to eat when I see meals and meals and meals. I donāt know what he wants, but asking him always results in āI donāt knowās or āyou chooseās. Honey, if I chose, neither of us would actually eat. So I come up with options that. Arenāt even options for me, but I guess arenāt for him either.
What do ānormal peopleā even eat? How do I find options that are safe for me but actually food for him?
[Help] favorite "safe" recipes? (no cal/low cal to fill up on)
/u/blackcoffeegreentea [5'9" | 151 | 22.3 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 09:53:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x2320/favorite_safe_recipes_no_callow_cal_to_fill_up_on/
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Hi all!
I'm coming out of a pretty brutal couple weeks of heavy binge-ing, and would love some guidance with no-cal/low-cal foods to eat until I stop feeling like absolute shit, my stomach shrinks down a bit more, & I'm better in control. I think if I go to my habitual restriction choices, I might cave again & start another binge cycle, and I reeeeeaaaaaally want to cut that shit! I'm so sick of feeling bloated & sick all the time.
Here's what I normally consider "safe" to have a lot of -- would love your additions to this list!!
-
-water (iced or hot, with lemon or plain)
-tea (unsweetened obviously)
-coffee
-vegetable broth
-cabbage soup (cabbage, tomato, onion, mushroom, veg broth)
-sugarfree jello
-grapefruit
-cucumber
-pickles (but not tons, or else I retain water like nobody's business)
-shirataki noodles (I like to make them with salt, pepper, & truffle powder, or just add them to veg broth)
-seaweed (to snack on, one sheet at a time)
-sugarfree popsicles
-
what else do you like to eat (that's ok to eat a lot of?)
Would love to hear about anything that feels like "comfort food" especially, since my depression is what led to this binge & I know it'll keep nagging at me...
Thank you!!! I need all the help I can get to stop the cycle of eating mountains of shit & hating myself!
[Other] Thought this might be interesting
/u/flightlesspotato [5'5 | CW: 128 | 21.0]
Created: Mon Feb 12 09:33:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x1xp5/thought_this_might_be_interesting/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3x5tef8wv4
[Other] Thought this might be interesting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 12 09:32:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x1xch/thought_this_might_be_interesting/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3x5tef8wv4
[Rant/Rave] I havent seen my therapist in a month
/u/kombuchawizard
Created: Mon Feb 12 08:39:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x1jjz/i_havent_seen_my_therapist_in_a_month/
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She thinks ive been in recovery, and i havent seen her since Jan5th. I lost 15lbs in the past month and im afraid shell notice and assign me to a nutritionist or even worse: warn my parents. Im going to wear layers so its not too noticeable, its not apparent anyway. i went from 151 to 136lbs in a month and no one has noticed. Im just tired of being like this, but i cant stop. Instead of being thrilled of the weight i lost, all i can think about is how fat i still am and if people will stop me or not. Im tired
[Other] Just after I was thinking about restricting tomorrow. Thanks.
/u/yungbrrrat [5'8 | 16F | OSFED]
Created: Mon Feb 12 08:14:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x1dg8/just_after_i_was_thinking_about_restricting/
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https://i.redd.it/80jg4wgftsf01.jpg
[Help] Dealing with Dysmorphia: The 5 Things You Can Do
/u/CandleFire3
Created: Mon Feb 12 08:00:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x19o5/dealing_with_dysmorphia_the_5_things_you_can_do/
---
https://www.sutava.com/dealing-dysmorphia-bdd/
[Discussion] Anyone else feel weird when you drink coffee on an empty stomach?
/u/GameofLoans16
Created: Mon Feb 12 07:37:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x14hf/anyone_else_feel_weird_when_you_drink_coffee_on/
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I feel jittery in a weird way...
[Goal] Daytona 500 cal Week
/u/lists_n_shits [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 105]
Created: Mon Feb 12 07:33:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x13jc/daytona_500_cal_week/
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[removed]
[Other] adult (18+) with an ED? suffering in this hell for a long time? check out r/proEDadults!
/u/emaxiii [5'5 | CW 129 | GW 111 | F 21]
Created: Mon Feb 12 07:04:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x0x60/adult_18_with_an_ed_suffering_in_this_hell_for_a/
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I created r/proEDadults after I saw a thread on here wanting a more mature space for those with an ED later in life.
As we age, our problems change. We go from hiding our EDs from our parents, to hiding them from our SOs and coworkers, to hiding them from our children. r/proEDadults is a sub specifically dedicated to those in their 20s, 30s, 40s, etc who are still living with these disorders.
We have all of the same rules (and some of the same mods) as proED with the additional caveat that you should only post if you are 18+. Others are welcome to browse the sub but please respect the rules of our space.
[Rant/Rave] Lost 2lbs overnight after a 2000+ binge...
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Mon Feb 12 05:40:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x0ge6/lost_2lbs_overnight_after_a_2000_binge/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] The curse of the morning binge. (or: Why I Shouldn't Get Up So Early.)
/u/Deviiation [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 23.99 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Mon Feb 12 05:15:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x0c5i/the_curse_of_the_morning_binge_or_why_i_shouldnt/
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I got up around six thirty. I was fine all morning, really. I thought I was fine for the day. Around eight I started feeling very tired, so I chanced a venture into the kitchen for coffee. Before I knew it, there went 284kcal. It's going to be a shit day.
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! February 12, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 12 05:14:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x0c2o/weekly_stats_update_february_12_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for February 12, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 12, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 12 05:14:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x0c1y/daily_food_diary_february_12_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 12, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] looking @ videos of food satisfies cravings
/u/cisheterpatriarchy
Created: Mon Feb 12 04:32:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7x051k/looking_videos_of_food_satisfies_cravings/
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does anyone else do this? /r/gifrecipes is great. you'd think that it'd make you start craving all that food but for me it doesn't?
i have another 10 hours of fasting to get through before i can go to sleep tonight and i'm dreading it lmao i'm just going to be doing whatever i can to distract myself
[Rant/Rave] š· Thank you everyone š
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 12 03:21:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wzuc4/thank_you_everyone/
---
I've been a lurker on this sub for a while and have contributed to the discussions under a different account name (which I've since deleted) a few times. The discussions, the random updates and especially the wins you all share are great and sometimes hilarious.
I just want to say thank you all for the positivity and support that you all provide. You may not know this or believe it, but you have been a source of strength for me in many difficult times (i know, it's kinda gross loll).
Things are getting harder now than they ever have been, and I am finding that I may not have the endurance to continue. I guess I'm writing this to get some sort of closure.
I was a 25 year old female that suffered from bulimia. I graduated with an English degree and failed my attempt for a Masters which left me homebound due to severe depression and anxiety. I did not pursue professional help. Money has been extremely hard on my family and I have not been able to help due to this. The combination of factors (depression, anxiety, financial difficulties and stressful home and relationships) have made surviving a lot harder. I believe that things will not get any better and have decided to take matters to my own hands. There is no shame in euthanasia and I really believe that everyone's life is theirs to do what they will.
I hope that you all continue to achieve your goals and reach your goal weight āŗļø. I hope that you achieve the happiness you search for and everything you want in life is realised āØš
Sorry for the huge text,
Joan
[Thinspo] Those hip bones...
/u/crochetyhooker [5'8" | CW 204 |BMI 31 | Female]
Created: Mon Feb 12 02:58:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wzqyk/those_hip_bones/
---
https://imgur.com/a/nasHv
[Rant/Rave] Jealous of a friend
/u/daisyhands
Created: Mon Feb 12 01:35:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wzf9n/jealous_of_a_friend/
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my best friend ever is the same weight as me. iāve had my ED for years and only just got to this weight. she is showing symptoms of ED, i talked to her about it but she avoided it. iāve always been the skinniest. i know this sounds bad but i likes being the skinniest. she was never ever fat, either. we are the same height and yesterday we were talking and she brought up her weight and she weighs the same as me. i felt like crying and screaming because i used to be 98lbs around christmas time and i gained so much and now iām 103lbs. It makes me feel useless and jealous that she lost weight and i havenāt. now i feel like i have to work so so hard to lose more weight than her. I canāt stop thinking about it and i just feel like a fucking failure. this is making me so sad
[Discussion] any other c/s-ers out here?
/u/reallysmallsnail [5'7 | cw: 144 | gw: tiny | 22.5 | f |]
Created: Mon Feb 12 01:22:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wzdil/any_other_csers_out_here/
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i just discovered this on friday and i am over the moon! it is perfect for high-anxiety binge days (like today fml) i have had the satisfaction of eating a bunch of my comfort foods with only...some of the calories? maybe? im still not sure how to count it. how do you feel about it? if you do it, how do you count the calories? what is your favorite/least favorite food for it?
[Help] important??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 12 00:42:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wz7vt/important/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wz7vt/important/
[Rant/Rave] Fuck you Ed
/u/2girly4me [5'6 ā¢ SW 145# ā¢ CW 125# ā¢ GW 110# ā¢ 20F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 00:40:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wz7i0/fuck_you_ed/
---
Ed,
I can't deal with overeating and throwing up every single day, often twice a day. I cry at the numbers on the scale every time they rise.
You make me tired and pass out every single evening. You make me eat more despite purging an hour ago. You give my body 4000 to 5000 calories in a very short time.
I have a room full of dirty boxes and dishes. The floor of my passenger seat is filled with boxes and cartons of already-eaten food. Even my boss has said something about it.
And I hurt when you make me purge. I see myself in the mirror and wonder why you're doing this to me.
You won't control me any longer. Bye Ed. And thanks for all the ~~fish~~ donuts.
[Rant/Rave] Is any of this worth it? Am I even worth it?
/u/Bleepbloopbroke [65|CW 106.4|GW 95|UGW 84|17.91| -26.6| F]
Created: Mon Feb 12 00:06:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wz2gd/is_any_of_this_worth_it_am_i_even_worth_it/
---
This is not directed towards any of you. I had to get my feelings out somewhere. Sorry for the essay and sorry if this is the wrong sub to post to
The answer is no. I'm not worth it. I'm worthless and I hate myself. I look at the veins in my wrist and wonder what that river of blood gushing out when I cut the vein in half would feel like.
I've realized that really, no one cares. Maybe they care enough to try to keep me alive, because that's what people are supposed to do. Suicide is bad. Living is good. But how well do they know my life? I can tell you I have an eating disorder, depression and several personality disorders. But do you care? Do you really understand that this stuff is around all day every day for me?
Do you understand the immense guilt I feel? When nothing has happened or when I feel like everything bad in the world somehow is my fault? Do you feel the guilt when you eat, and the anger at yourself because you know there are so many things you've fucked up and you can't even make yourself alright?
Do you know the feeling that everyone is lying to you? Saying the things you want to hear just so they don't have to listen to you whine and complain? Do you feel like everyone is talking about you behind your back? Saying what they really think about you. Saying how much better their lives would be without you?
Do you get that feeling like maybe if I ate less, got skinner, faded away until there was no more left of me that you'd fix so many problems for you? Like I wouldn't be the constant annoyance, the pathetic, useless human that you really never wanted around in the first place?
Do you feel that part of you that is so depressed, so sad and needs to be let out. In anger. In rage. In tears. Do you feel that sadness physically on top of you like you're trying to lift the weight of all the worlds you've broken, the people you let down and failed?
Do you feel cold and alone? Cold from starving yourself for so long, alone from the fact that no one really wants to talk to you. And they definitely don't want to hear you whining about some minor thing that you have that's only taken your whole life and sanity away from you.
They don't want to hear that you cried to yourself in the shower and felt so much emotional agony that you felt you were actually physically in pain and sick. They don't want to hear how hard it is to get out of bed in the morning and act like a real person, instead of the freak that you are.
Do you get that feeling that no matter how much someone hurts you, you always end up running back to them and apologizing. When you know you are the one who deserved that apology but you can't stand the thought of losing them. Because you know so many people have left you in the past. Because they didn't care and you didn't try hard enough to keep them here
Do you feel this crazy feeling that everyone hates you? And that for some reason you justify their actions and somehow make it your own fault? Just to keep them around?
Do you get the feeling that you are completely unlovable? You're too fat at a BMI of 17.5, you think maybe I'll start to be attractive when I lose 10? 20? 30 pounds?
How is it that I can put my all into something and get nothing out of it? My ED is the only one who says she'll take care of me. The only one who will never let me go. She says the depression will go away when I become thin. Is she telling me the truth?
My depression loves my ED though.
But still no one loves me
No one really wants me around
I'm better off alone, and everyone else is better off without me
I want to sleep until this is all over. Until my pain decides it's someone else's turn. Or maybe they'll never let me go. I'm an easy target
No one cares. About me anyway. This is just my internal dialogue right now. I'm not saying people don't care about you guys because they most likely do. Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit to post to.
[Rant/Rave] I miss treatment
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |102| BMI 17.5| GW 96 lbs |32 y/o]
Created: Mon Feb 12 00:01:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wz1iq/i_miss_treatment/
---
I was motivated to get well in treatment. I journaled daily, breathed in life through the morning sun peeking through the windows and set goals with gel pens. I wrote with hope and ate breakfast like a good girl.
In treatment, people smile when you set goals like brushing your teeth daily or eating a cookie. Nurses pull you aside and ask if you are okay.
In treatment, evenings were just watching movies or coloring. I didn't have to maintain friendships. It was like others had to be my friend.
I'm back in real life. And I suddenly remember that my car still has years of stains from binge food, that I have no family or friends who can tolerate my ambivalence about living, that I have an annual review coming up for a job that I've been failing. I fall asleep to emptiness and there is nobody to talk to when I'm feeling desperate and scared. People don't pat my back when I'm laced in depression slobber and vomit...they kick you out.
I am not grown up emotionally to be in this world. I'm struggling to find a reason to live when I can't get the basics of being human right. I'm in a motel right now, just finishing a purge. I'm so alone you guys, there is no light anymore. I'm cold and hopeless and so so scared.
[Discussion] Any small reason to update my flair!
/u/MsFaceless [5'8" | CW 130 | BMI 20 | GW 100 | 28F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 23:03:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wyrzu/any_small_reason_to_update_my_flair/
---
Is anyone else obsessed with updating their flair? I weigh myself like twice a day and every time I'm even a few ounces less, I come and update my flair.
I've been plateauing for a while and can't restrict anymore than I already am, I do IF 20/4 so I'm just clinging to any small change I notice.
[Rant/Rave] had to update my stats after 2 weeks of bingeing :(
/u/blackcoffeegreentea [5'9" | 151 | 22.3 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 23:02:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wyrsd/had_to_update_my_stats_after_2_weeks_of_bingeing/
---
So f*&%ing mad at myself!!!!! I have gained 6lbs in 2 weeks of severe bingeing (not water weight- I've been flushing out my system for 3 days now & this is where it's sitting). This sets back my entire spring goals a ton. I was doing pretty well until a stupid guy made me feel shitty and I took it out on my kitchen. For two weeks. I actually went out at midnight every few days to restock on awful food, disgusting shit that I'm embarrassed to put in my fat body, always promising myself it was the last time, then I'd fucking eat ALL of it & go back. Again & again. I can't blame all that on an idiot guy. Those were MY choices & I'm paying for them now.
Fuuuuuuuuck my goals are further away than ever, my clothes are all tight, my bras are all bulgey, and I feel terrible. I can even feel my chin fat sticking out.
I'm starting a 3 day lemon-water & vegetable broth fast tomorrow before I go back to 800 cals/day for the rest of spring. This time I am NOT GOING TO FUCK IT UP!!!!!! No more bingeing; it never EVER makes me feel better, I know it doesn't, why do I do it?!?!
Fuck fuck fuck.
[Discussion] DAE buy organic/non gmo/expensive versions of food?
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 88 | BMI 14.6| 17F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 22:52:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wypyc/dae_buy_organicnon_gmoexpensive_versions_of_food/
---
Like brown eggs. Fancy fruits. Organic sprouted grain bread. Peanut butter that separates and only has one ingrediant instead of skippy with all the chemicals and aditives.
Logic me knows they have the exact same calorie breakdown (on some items), but buying and eating the expensive one makes me feel fancy... even though I'm wearing the same hand me down pants for the last 3 years.
I'm the same way about haircare/skincare. Like if it's all natural and actually works it makes me feel so "clean" and good. I am so frustrated I waste my money like this, but I guess it just makes me feel like the calories I spend are more "worth it" because its all good food going into my body, so I won't feel so disgusting.
Why am I the way that I am?
[Rant/Rave] Just ED things~
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 110 |19| GW:105 | -32 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 22:47:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wyp71/just_ed_things/
---
Today I reached a new low weight and tried on my dream dress I've been saving for when I reached a weight that could fit it. My entire abdomen and hips fit it perfectly....except my torso. My ribcage is too big even with minimal fat and now I just have this gorgeous dress sitting in my closet that I'll never fit. So as punishment for something j have no control over, I'm eating popcorn flavoring for dinner. If I diet enough maybe I can make my ribs disappear :((
[Help] Help.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 11 21:30:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wyaih/help/
---
[deleted]
boyfriend broke up with me me last thursday - fell back into a binge spiral.
/u/katijaiv [5'10 | CW no good | f]
Created: Sun Feb 11 21:11:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wy6vn/boyfriend_broke_up_with_me_me_last_thursday_fell/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Thoughts on intermittent fasting and effectiveness?
/u/z4ynmalik [5'3 | CW: 111 | GW: 95 š»]
Created: Sun Feb 11 21:09:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wy6bb/thoughts_on_intermittent_fasting_and_effectiveness/
---
[removed]
[Help] Lurker losing hair
/u/cel1636
Created: Sun Feb 11 21:06:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wy5uz/lurker_losing_hair/
---
Hey you guys, so Iāve been trying my best to add more protein/biotin/ multi vitamins and iron into my diet and I STILL KEEP LOSING MY HAIR!!! I honestly donāt know what do anymore :( . Any suggestions??
[Other] Measurements are hard
/u/ProEdComics
Created: Sun Feb 11 21:02:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wy542/measurements_are_hard/
---
https://imgur.com/a/JJxwZ
[Rant/Rave] Just binged on a jar of almond butter mixed with an entire bag of chocolate chips...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 11 20:59:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wy4i1/just_binged_on_a_jar_of_almond_butter_mixed_with/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wy4i1/just_binged_on_a_jar_of_almond_butter_mixed_with/
[Rant/Rave] Fucking Womp (binge rant)
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 145.2 | GW: 130 | -21.6 | UGW: 100 | F24]
Created: Sun Feb 11 20:36:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wxzzv/fucking_womp_binge_rant/
---
I'm going to be laid off from my job. And I had to get my bf through colonoscopy prep on Wednesday night (I was so fucking jealous which is just not normal). And he was supposed to have a liver biopsy the day after. And I'm going to be laid off from my job. I've had it since I graduated college almost 3 years ago. And I have a crap ton of debt so I need a new job but I'm not as worried about that because I know I'll find one. But I fucking hate change.
***I HATE CHANGE***
I hate major life changes. They always result in something bad happening or are the result of something bad happening. And the stresses of adjusting to a new office and coworkers, and dealing with imposter syndrome which I really struggle with, and a commute that probably won't improve from what I have now (2-4 hours A DAY no exaggeration).
Anyways I hit a new low weight Monday and then with everything happening Wednesday night (bfs prep and finding out about my job) I just....haven't been able to stop binging. I haven't cried yet, I know it's coming. But God I've gained like 10lbs in less than a week! I was 143 lbs and now I'm 151. I'm so horrified at myself but I can't stop guys. I'm on my ADD meds and I STILL can't stop.
It sounds stupid to put so much weight (haha) on a job, but I can't stop thinking about just slitting my wrists. I don't know why because I know it will all end up okay (I'm in IT so there's no shortage of jobs), but I'm so fucking tired guys, and I just want it to end. Anyways, I'm drunk so this probably sounds stupid and disjointed and blah so I'm gonna go to bed. Life just hurts so much.
[Help] How long should you start off fasting for/How do you come down from a fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 11 19:36:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wxnpt/how_long_should_you_start_off_fasting_forhow_do/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wxnpt/how_long_should_you_start_off_fasting_forhow_do/
[Other] ED experiences at restaurants
/u/ProEdComics
Created: Sun Feb 11 19:22:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wxkw7/ed_experiences_at_restaurants/
---
https://imgur.com/a/ZiC4o
[Discussion] Funniest ED related stories?
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 19:20:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wxkjk/funniest_ed_related_stories/
---
I'm broke af but I keep b/ping and it's just making me feel super awful. I could use a laugh.
Post your funniest ed related stories below. Go!š
[Rant/Rave] Extreme Anxiety Eating in front of people
/u/dre-ezy [5ā4 | CW 101.2 | ftm ]
Created: Sun Feb 11 19:19:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wxk7k/extreme_anxiety_eating_in_front_of_people/
---
Every fucking time I try to eat in front of people I almost have an anxiety attack. I get really bad paranoia about people judging the way I sound/look while Iām eating. Iāve always been slightly nervous eating in front of people but lately itās been excessive.
My friend told me that last night while I was blackout drunk I microwaved a pizza pop. My friend said that he didnāt like the way it smelt and I FLIPPED out on him and threw the pizza pop away away and cried for an hour.
I canāt believe I fucking did that. How could I not realize how crazy I looked? How could I have been that open about my ED? What the fuck is wrong with me?
[Help] I can't handle it
/u/megamorphaseez
Created: Sun Feb 11 19:10:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wxi7c/i_cant_handle_it/
---
I'm sitting here, my face is raw and swollen from crying. I've spent my entire day in bed crying and sobbing and taking a sharp tack and scratching my wrist hoping I'll knick a vein. (I'm more rational than this)
This disordered thinking is the hardest thing I've ever had to control, it IS me, from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed I'm thinking about calories and about food and having ridiculous irrational thoughts. If I could stop it I would, I don't LIKE feeling like this. I don't understand why I'm like this and that bothers me even more.
It's been 8 hours I just want to stop crying, I just want to feel somewhat normalized again. I don't want to binge and purge, I don't want to keep scratching at my wrists.
I just want to feel skinny.
I don't know what I'm expecting from this post. I just want to know I'm not alone, I'm terrified, and I feel utterly alone.
[Rant/Rave] I miss Peach..
/u/gayishfish [5'7" | CW: embarrassing | BMI: high | -9 lbs | 23F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 18:47:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wxddc/i_miss_peach/
---
My S/O saw me using Peach about a week or 2 ago and got super weirded out. He doesn't know why I use it. He has no clue about my ED. I told him that a friend used it and I thought i was try it out and that it bored me and I uninstalled it. I think he's satisfied that I uninstalled it, but i basically can't get it back for a long long time and I just feel so isolated and lonely.... He doesn't realize what he's taken from me š
Gosh I'm such a whiny baby im so sorry, feel free to delete
[Rant/Rave] If this doesn't scream r/proED from r/1200isplenty, I don't know what else does.
/u/itzybitzyboo [5'2|CW:133|HW:158|GW:98|19F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 17:56:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wx2mt/if_this_doesnt_scream_rproed_from_r1200isplenty_i/
---
https://i.redd.it/wfohxmj8kof01.jpg
[Help] Adderall, love, feeling like I'm going crazy
/u/StreetTumbleweed
Created: Sun Feb 11 17:54:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wx2ab/adderall_love_feeling_like_im_going_crazy/
---
I keep typing things out and it becomes an incoherent mess. WooOooOo adderall. Also in b4 people are mad at me. I'm not in a good state of mind.
POLL: How many of yall get men asking you to be their gfs OFTEN? I'm NOT talking about dudes just trying to fuck you. Men will fuck a lot of things when they are horny- believe me. I work around men and the things I see/hear at work. Wow.
I was totally smitten over a man and he treated me better than any. man. ever. has. Not only that, he made me feel so special.... Someone every lady wants, why did he want me? Well I was a lot younger so there's that but... I'm certain I won't meet someone like him again. His looks, charm, and how he treated me for a good minute... things fizzled out and he's giving me the run-around. It hurts but it's obvious what's going on. I just can't shake an honest answer out of him. I'm trying. How fucking pathetic of me.
I'm not overweight, just.... average. I guarantee men would be more smitten with me if I were thin. Like, underweight bmi thin. I remember being briefly underweight some time back, due to hardly eating and over-exercising, and the difference was astounding. When I gained the weight back, despite just going back to average, it was like... POOF. GONE.
I can never, ever trust men. Not since I've been "woke" so to speak. Some men don't cheat, purely because they don't have the opportunity. Even "research" says this is why men cheat, it's up to % of opportunity. I don't want to believe it. I want to wake up from this dream. Hell, I rather go back to boys completely ignoring me like back in middle school rather than the men that will feint interest to slip their dicks inside of my body.
I'm cooped up in my place to myself. Have so many chores to do but haven't done them yet. I haven't showered in a week. Trying to muster up the motivation to go clean my clothing down the street, even though I probably REEK.
Sigh. Also, anyone else Keto? lol
[Discussion] DAE count entire packages as one serving
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 11 17:43:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wwzyn/dae_count_entire_packages_as_one_serving/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Just tired
/u/lanadelrayban
Created: Sun Feb 11 17:30:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wwx1e/just_tired/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My eating disorder loves me when nobody else can
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |102| BMI 17.5| GW 96 lbs |32 y/o]
Created: Sun Feb 11 17:15:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wwtja/my_eating_disorder_loves_me_when_nobody_else_can/
---
I feel so discouraged. I got out of inpatient and residential...and it's been a steady slide back. There was a small, fleeting moment of hope.
But now the truth sinks in. I'm too far in and I will never be a real human being.
This illness was never about being healthy or happy. It was just the realization that I am unlovable, a burden, damaged, and too broken to fit into the world.
Nobody and nothing can ever cradle me in the depths of disgust and loneliness like my eating disorder can. Nobody and nothing can tolerate me. But the scale praises me and sings me peace.
I'll die with it, but at least I won't be alone.
[Rant/Rave] I tell everyone that I'm okay and that it's fine
/u/COOKIE_PRINCESS [4'10" | šŖ | F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 16:48:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wwnf6/i_tell_everyone_that_im_okay_and_that_its_fine/
---
I tell people I'm fine. I'm doing okay really. It's not that bad. I'm just tired and I need to sleep. I'm just not seeing things properly right now. It's nothing to worry about. Don't worry about me.
I'm not fine and I'm not okay. I say those things so that they don't worry about me. So that I don't cause them pain. So that I don't burden them with so much that they decide they need to leave. I tell my friends and my family and my girlfriend and my doctors.
It hurts me most with my girlfriend because they're suffering too. They are already dealing with so many things in their lives and I don't want to add to that. I want to be the positive thing in their life. The person that they can come to for help and support. And they do support me, they give so much to me just by existing and by being in my life. But it hurts me that I am so incapable of telling them that I'm not okay, at least not without following it up with "but don't worry really because..."
My two biggest fears are being alone and causing harm or hurting other people. The only reason I'm still alive is because killing myself would destroy so many people's lives who I care about. The two basically combine so that I'm never able to really be okay or to burden them with my true existence. Whatever I do feels like I'm slowly killing myself and hurting everyone who I so much cannot afford to hurt.
[Rant/Rave] Why am I like this? And 5000 other questions I ask from the toilet.
/u/ImNotaTreeImaShrub [5'5" CW:190lbs (-5) LW 115lbs | GW 130 lbs | UGW 115lbs | 32F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 16:43:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wwmg1/why_am_i_like_this_and_5000_other_questions_i_ask/
---
So I am staying at my friends house and I knew sheād planned tons of food for us. She is also aware of my ED past and tells me off if I havenāt eaten enough (in a nice way). Obviously she doesnāt know Iāve relapsed and that for the last few weeks Iāve been averaging about 600-800 cals a day.
Last night in a sort of panic about it all and also because I hadnāt pooped in a week I took a load of laxatives. And it hit today at lunch when I was just leaving for the train. I missed my first train because of that but got on the next one and had to run to the bathroom between that train and the second half of my journey, and then I spent the first 20 minutes at my friends house pooing my entire body weight out (may be slight exaggeration) sadly on her toilet. I told her it was because I am due on my period and she bought it.
And after all that, in order to appear normal, I ended up eating about 2000 calories tonight and itās more than Iāve eaten in weeks. Iām now in bed bloated, feeling sick, with stomach cramps and feeling like such a dick. Why do we do this to ourselves?
[Help] Comedown from ECA stack?
/u/itsalonstora [CBMI: 22.3 | GBMI 21.5 |UGBMI | 19.7]
Created: Sun Feb 11 16:19:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wwgz1/comedown_from_eca_stack/
---
I've recently started trying out ECA stacks (this is my second time), and it's been about 6 hours since I last took it, and I'm starting to feel like complete shit. I'm finding it hard to focus, and I feel lightheaded, and my head feels a bit heavy. I'm assuming this is just some sort of comedown. Do any of you guys have experience with this? What can I do to ease how I'm feeling?
[Intro] Out from lurking!!
/u/pmmeured
Created: Sun Feb 11 16:06:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wwdv0/out_from_lurking/
---
Hi!! Iāve kind of lurked here for a while on another account but I made a new one so I can interact and such. Yāall are so supportive.
I didnāt really think of myself with ED, but when I first found this sub and proEDmemes and then found out I did way too much same stuff and had the same exact thoughts and even recognized I had a trigger weight... idk.
Iām hoping if I stop lurking and interact more itāll help me maybe fix a little. Idk. But hello to all!
[Rant/Rave] Wanted: someone to laugh with me for my pathetic life
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |102| BMI 17.5| GW 96 lbs |32 y/o]
Created: Sun Feb 11 16:04:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wwdcg/wanted_someone_to_laugh_with_me_for_my_pathetic/
---
I don't really post here anymore. But I need to vent. Roommate knows I'm bulimic. Didn't trust me because the other day I puked in room and her dog kept sniffing by the door. Went into my room on her own while I was away. Wrote a text about how I had opened soda bottles and a stain on the carpet. I'm not going to make excuses because even though I was "going to" clean it up, I didn't immediately.
Being kicked out. I want to die but am apparently too biologically driven to live despite logic.
So now I'm puking at the mall. But who the fuck cares because I've lost nearly 10 lbs since I left treatment so life is okay. Honestly, I feel less shitty about not having a place to live in less than a month because i'll just keep fucking losing weight and that's all I need
[Rant/Rave] bingeing
/u/lostinitt [5'6" | CW: 98 | GW: 92| 25F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 15:54:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wwawr/bingeing/
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[removed]
[Other] Hungry For Change - Documentary on Netflix. Anyone see this and what did you think?
/u/dotdot-8 [5'8| CW135 | GW122 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 15:53:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wwanx/hungry_for_change_documentary_on_netflix_anyone/
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https://imgur.com/4Yyq5Qm
Freaking out over a vacation
/u/Simplemind16
Created: Sun Feb 11 15:42:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ww8an/freaking_out_over_a_vacation/
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[removed]
[Discussion] February 11th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 15:35:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ww6or/february_11th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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How did you get to work today?
[Discussion] Food staples?
/u/Thisisntmybaby42
Created: Sun Feb 11 15:27:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ww4mn/food_staples/
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For me itās usually diet bread and raw veggies. Sometimes Iāll use salsa.
[Rant/Rave] I ate cornflakes and it didnāt end in a binge
/u/maybethisistherealme
Created: Sun Feb 11 15:22:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ww3lr/i_ate_cornflakes_and_it_didnt_end_in_a_binge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Cannot fucking sleep after fasting, cannot fucking sleep after binging, either.
/u/PM_M3_UR_SECRETS [163cm | CW 55kg | GW 50kg | HW 80kg]
Created: Sun Feb 11 15:18:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ww2ou/cannot_fucking_sleep_after_fasting_cannot_fucking/
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Has anyone else experienced this? I fasted for around 25 hours and planned on breaking my fast in the morning but nope, I literally just got up after trying to sleep for two hours, stuffed my face with 400 calories worth of bullshit (I read online somewhere that some people had a hard time falling asleep when fasting longer than ~24 hours) and now I still can't fucking sleep. Apparently it wasn't because I was hungry, so now eating all that food was completely pointless because I still can't sleep. Only now I'm not just awake and successfully getting thinner, but I am awake and getting fat instead. Fuck. And tomorrow I'm going to a stupid fucking brunch where I will definitely be going over my daily calorie allowance, too. Sorry for ranting but I am just so frustrated with everything. I feel like shit. Hope you guys are doing better than I am right now.
[Other] Calories
/u/waisu [5ā2|CW:145|GW:90|F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 14:35:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wvrvu/calories/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone else want to lose more than the UGW just so you can gain more?
/u/dwaiiiii
Created: Sun Feb 11 14:07:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wvl9g/does_anyone_else_want_to_lose_more_than_the_ugw/
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I love food and restricting it is like hell to me. I personally am not aiming to look too skinny (not that it's bad, but just not my goal atm) but I sorta just want to lose more than my ideal weight just so I can allow myself to binge and eat like crazy. Then I would be able to eat without feeling so shameful and guilty for it.. I know it's a bit weird but does anyone think the same??
Does extreme restriction or fasting actually slow down you metabolism?
/u/MangoDays
Created: Sun Feb 11 13:58:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wvj02/does_extreme_restriction_or_fasting_actually_slow/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Just watched Cloverfield Paradox and can we talk about Elizabeth Debicki for a second?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 13:38:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wve7c/just_watched_cloverfield_paradox_and_can_we_talk/
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She's 190cm tall and 60kg! She was seated for a lot of the movie, but once she stood up I was mesmerised. She's so long and graceful. I'm 180cm and I feel like I'm always taking up too much space both in height and size. She makes tall look so feminine.
I've been reading interviews with her and her comfort food is vegetable soup. That would explain why she's 60kg and I'm a š
[Rant/Rave] Goodbye?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 11 13:37:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wvds7/goodbye/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I was called fat and made fun of last night
/u/juswonderingg
Created: Sun Feb 11 13:28:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wvbqa/i_was_called_fat_and_made_fun_of_last_night/
---
I went out last night and I didnt want to dress up or anything so I just wore a big hoodie and some leggings. Im walking to my car and I hear a group of guys say "oh look, thats a big girl" and call me fat and make fun of me while I was getting into my car. Im only called fat when I wear big clothes and I hate it because I dont like showing my body but at the same time I hate being called fat. Ive been trying to recover for about a month and Ive been doing pretty good but this just fucked me over. Ive been crying and I havent eaten since then. Ive just had tea, laxatives, and I ran 2 miles. It fucking sucks.
I just purged 20g of popcorn
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 11 13:28:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wvbku/i_just_purged_20g_of_popcorn/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wvbku/i_just_purged_20g_of_popcorn/
[Rant/Rave] (Rant) An entirely free trip to Hawaii for spring break, with my boyfriendās family
/u/Thatza_Latza_Matza [5'3" | CW 120 | BMI: 21.4 | -20]
Created: Sun Feb 11 13:17:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wv8ty/rant_an_entirely_free_trip_to_hawaii_for_spring/
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[removed]
[Help] TIFU by taking a laxative forgetting that I have an early drive that starts in 12 hours.
/u/letspullthecordornot
Created: Sun Feb 11 13:10:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wv708/tifu_by_taking_a_laxative_forgetting_that_i_have/
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I really hope this isn't breaking the rules, but I need some advice before this turns into a real TIFU situation. I binged this morning on 1200+calories of tacos. I took a dulcolax around 1pm, I realized at 1:40 that I should not have done that because I have a 13 hour drive early tomorrow morning and I can not be stopping to use the bathroom every thirty minutes. I immediately tried to purge it out but I feel like it might have already dissolved.
Is there anything I can do besides hope for the best??
UPDATE: they are kicking in early! No more worrying about tomorrow!! I had to drink some black coffee, a half gallon of water and pickle juice but the mission is successful! I normally feel really happy after feeling so empty but this is like double the happiness.
[Rant/Rave] Little comments keep me going
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | fat | too high | Ugw: 7 lb 3 oz | 20f ]
Created: Sun Feb 11 12:59:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wv46s/little_comments_keep_me_going/
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This happened a couple days ago but ijust now got the energy to post it. I was in class a couple days ago rlly self concious bc i was wearing a tshirt for the first time in a while. This girl who I'm sort of friends with sat next to me and yelled "holy shit your wrists are so tiny" and wrapped her finger and thumb around it and there was still about an inch of space!! Then she pulled the waist on my jeans and said "and your waist too!" I told her it's bc I'm like 5 inches shorter than her that I looked small but I'm actually so happy and proud omg. I've been thinking about it ever since!!!! Then when our professor brought out snacks he pointed a bag of popcorn right at me so I used my pencil to push it away and this boy sitting across from me sort of laughed and just kind of stared at me. Idk its probably just passing moments for my classmates but it honestly puts me in such a good mood when people say something about me being small!!!!
Also, unrelated but I just discovered Sprite Cherry zero and i am amazed and in love!!!!
Skin changes?
/u/lithewedding
Created: Sun Feb 11 12:41:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wuzyh/skin_changes/
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On top of this lovely eating and body size battle I have had for more than half of my life, I have serious skin problems that have contributed to my body dysmorphia. I am slowly but surely healing, and have made more progress in the past year than the past ten years, which makes me happy.
Now, enter a new problem.
I feel like my face has lost some weight, but I suddenly see these very fine lines in my cheek area when I smile...not the same as smile lines, and my dermatologist said she didn't think it was from my medication or that it was permanent when I sent her a photo...I'm afraid that it is. Could it be stretch marks from losing weight in my cheek bones? I googled this and have found that stretch marks on the face seem rare. I've never been more than around 120 at 5'4" and have felt like I'm at a plateau most of the time, which is driving me mad. I am hoping to get to at least 115 for my wedding, but now I am worried my face will be wrinkly! Thoughts? I hope this is not the case and it may just be my BDD taking control.
[Other] Song that may fit here
/u/bennyanathin
Created: Sun Feb 11 12:36:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wuyre/song_that_may_fit_here/
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My favorite song for the past four years has been "La Flaca," which translates from Spanish to "The Thin Woman." There are two versions, both which are amazing imo, the first by Jarabe de Palo, and the second by Santana.
The whole song is in Spanish, so it may not connect to y'all if you don't speak the language, but I'll stick the lyrics/my translation below.
En la vida conocĆ/In my life I (never) met
Mujer igual a la flaca/A woman equal to the skinnny woman
Coral negro de la Habana/Black coral from Havana
TremendĆsima mulata/tremendous mulata
Cien libras de piel y hueso/100 pounds of skin and bone
cuarenta kilos de salsa/40 kilograms of salsa
y en la cara dos soles/and in her face two suns
que sin palabras hablan/that speak without words
que sin palabras hablan/that speak without words
La flaca duerme de dĆa/the skinny woman sleeps through the day
dice que asĆ el hambre engaƱa/she says she does this to fool hunger
cuando cae la noche/when night falls
baja a bailar a la Tasca/she goes down to the pub(?) to dance
Y bailar y bailar/and to dance and to dance
y tomar y tomar/and to drink and to drink
una cerveza tras otra/one beer after another
pero ella nunca engorda/but she never becomes fat
pero ella nunca engorda/but she never becomes fat
Chorus
Por un beso de la flaca/for a kiss from the skinny woman
darĆa lo que fuera/I would give anything
por un beso de ella/for a kiss from her
aunque sĆ³lo uno fuera./even if it were only one
Por un beso de la flaca/for a kiss from the skinny woman
darĆa lo que fuera/I would give anything
por un beso de ella/for a kiss from her
aunque sĆ³lo uno fuera./even if it were only one
Aunque sĆ³lo uno fuera/even if it were only one
MojƩ mis sƔbanas blancas/I wet my white sheets
como dice la canciĆ³n/like the song says (goes)
recordando las caricias/remembering the caresses
que me brindĆ³ el primer dĆa/that she offered me the first day
Y enloquezco de ganas de/and I am crazy with the desire
dormir a su ladito/to sleep at her side
Ā”Porque Dios que esta flaca a/God this skinny woman
mĆ me tiene loquito!/makes me crazy
A mĆ me tiene loquito./makes me crazy
The chorus then repeats but I don't feel like typing it out. Disclaimer: I am not totally fluent, so if you've felt I've mistranslated parts let me know. Hopefully some of you like this song, I'd recommenced listening to both artists' versions because they both rock but they have really different feels.
[Other] Heard the upstairs neighbor vomiting as I was purging.
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Sun Feb 11 12:12:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wut7c/heard_the_upstairs_neighbor_vomiting_as_i_was/
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https://i.redd.it/pm5v0vlwumf01.gif
[Discussion] DAE weigh more than their boyfriend/husband?
/u/srkchrstn
Created: Sun Feb 11 11:39:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wul15/dae_weigh_more_than_their_boyfriendhusband/
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I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and in that entire time I have weighed more than him. We are both the same height but I have been consistently 20-25 pounds heavier than him. When we first started dating I honestly considered him thinspo he was so small his ribs stuck out and he has amazing cheekbones. He insists that the weight difference doesnāt bother him or the height similarity (I am taller than him when I wear heels) but it bothers me so so much. I feel like when other people see us together they judge me for being bigger than him.
It doesnāt help either that heās the type of person who skips breakfast and says he āforgets to eatā. He will stop eating when heās full even if thereās more on his plate... magic.
Anyone else struggle with this?
[Rant/Rave] Every time I try to branch out, I end up faltering.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 11 11:24:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wuhff/every_time_i_try_to_branch_out_i_end_up_faltering/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Goal weight range
/u/supersecretobsession [178cm | CW: 55.3kg | BMI: 17.01(new)/17.45(old) | GW: 55.5 | 20F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 11:16:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wufck/goal_weight_range/
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So I finally reached my goal weight today. I was actually a little under, and found that I didnāt know what to do. All morning I debated just liquid fasting all day to āmake sure this isnāt just dehydrationā and that āI am actually the weight it shows on the scaleā, but decided against further torturing my body and ate to my TDEE.
However, when I think about what number I would like to see on the scale tomorrow, I find that I really only want to see the same number as today. Not really any higher or lower.
Obviously I know this is extremely unrealistic as weight fluctuations are a thing, so I just wanted to ask if any of you guys have āgoal weight rangesā instead of āgoal weightsā. What do you do once you reach a goal weight? Do you try to stay under or around it?
I feel like my ideal weight range is 55kg to 55.5kg, but I donāt know if thatās too small of a range? I would love to hear your thoughts on this!
[Other] I tweaked the skinny taste bagel recipe to make 50 calorie mini muffins
/u/Just-That-Other-Guy [5'11" | CW: 146 lbs | BMI: 20.4 | SW: 230 lbs | -84 lbs]
Created: Sun Feb 11 11:11:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wue3o/i_tweaked_the_skinny_taste_bagel_recipe_to_make/
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https://i.redd.it/64c3ybc1kmf01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I've Developed Lactose Intolerance ,,,,,
/u/bunntendo [Height5'7 | CW122 | BMI19 | GW110 | GenderNB]
Created: Sun Feb 11 11:04:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wuc87/ive_developed_lactose_intolerance/
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[removed]
[Help] HEEELPP!! Does anyone know how to reduce swelling in my cheeks???
/u/beatrizpardo
Created: Sun Feb 11 11:01:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wubi1/heeelpp_does_anyone_know_how_to_reduce_swelling/
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Purged everyday last week and now my cheeks are swollen. Really want to have a purgefree week but seeing my face so fat makes me feel worst. Help please.
these cookies are really good at personalising your ads nowadays
/u/lukasimons
Created: Sun Feb 11 10:58:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wuatx/these_cookies_are_really_good_at_personalising/
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https://i.imgur.com/Ps0G21e.png
[Discussion] [discussion] does anyone vape/ quit smoking and start vaping? have you noticed any weight loss/ gain?
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 23F. SW:182 CW:131.6 BMI 19.08]
Created: Sun Feb 11 10:58:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wuaoa/discussion_does_anyone_vape_quit_smoking_and/
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I've finally given up cigarettes by starting to vape, but I'm worried I might gain weight on top of it looking dorky and not feeling quite as good. Fear of weight gain is what's kept me smoking for so long. I've read some articles suggesting that vaping may help with weight loss too, though. What're your experiences?
[Rant/Rave] Iād rather shoot myself in the head then live another fucking day of this god damn nightmare
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 11 10:50:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wu8rj/id_rather_shoot_myself_in_the_head_then_live/
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[deleted]
[Other] Just know someone is working on it guys!
/u/howlowcanigo_45 [5'7|CW 123.6|19.3|GW 115| 23F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 10:41:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wu6lc/just_know_someone_is_working_on_it_guys/
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https://i.redd.it/yougee6hemf01.jpg
[advice] Exercise calories - Questions
/u/idontevenliketeatbh [23F 5'3" | cw.154 | ugw.100 | lost.45lbs ā ]
Created: Sun Feb 11 10:36:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wu5iu/advice_exercise_calories_questions/
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So I got an elliptical for my birthday. I love it, first of all!! But I'm wondering, do you burn the same amount of calories from say, 10 minutes per session 6 times a day as a single 60 minute session? I read short bursts of high energy exercise is better than long mediocre sessions but it wasn't talking about calories, just ~for your health~
I've got asthma and I don't really like to push myself too hard but I can if I want to be miserable, wheezing the rest of the day. Which, let's be honest, I will do if longer sessions burn more calories.
Thanks in advance!! ā¤ļø
[Discussion] DAE weigh more than their partner?
/u/srkchrstn
Created: Sun Feb 11 10:35:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wu56m/dae_weigh_more_than_their_partner/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm going to find out my weight.
/u/asenseofnormal [5ā7ā | too dang much | 23F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 10:26:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wu33t/i_have_a_doctors_appointment_tomorrow_and_im/
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I haven't weighed myself in a long time because I've been trying to recover. I don't even have a scale right now. It's been months. But tomorrow, I have a doctor's appointment. I need to know how much I weigh. I can't deal with not knowing anymore. I can tell that I'm fat, but not being able to measure just *how* fat is doing more harm than good.
If I had to guess right now, I'd estimate myself at 155. That number is terrifying, and I hope to God that I'm wrong, but I'd rather know for sure so that I can have a concrete plan for fixing the damage I've done.
I feel like I've ruined my body. I'm ashamed of myself. Enough is enough. I can't live like this anymore. I'm beyond anxious right now, but this is my own damn fault. Tomorrow is going to be rough, but hopefully it will also be the fire under my fat ass that I need.
[Help] Crying and shaking after a binge - ED symptom or possible other health issues?
/u/manateens [5'4 20F | 154 / UGW 98 | BMI27]
Created: Sun Feb 11 09:51:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wtusr/crying_and_shaking_after_a_binge_ed_symptom_or/
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So last night I ate a brownie and was fine, didn't even try to purge, stomach didn't hurt much like it normally does with junk food. They were "slutty brownies" (cookie base Oreos Reeses and walnut brownies) Today I had half a brownie (they were right there! So tempting..) and since then (1hr 20min), I've shit twice and have been shaking and crying. My stomach is ridiculously distended and painful cramping. And it won't come up. I'm not even worried about the calories right now, I'm just in so much pain I want this OUT OF ME. my SO is making me call out of work and rest. It hurts so fucking bad.
I'm uploading photos of the distendedness now but wanted to post this asap
[Thinspo] saw this one lovetootrues insta
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 11 09:45:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wttfl/saw_this_one_lovetootrues_insta/
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https://i.redd.it/ft5f2opq4mf01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] It's hard to afford groceries and binge food when you spend all you money on designer clothes ha ha.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 11 09:34:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wtr2h/its_hard_to_afford_groceries_and_binge_food_when/
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On mobile flair as humor or rant rave.
I impulse bought another pair of designer boots to the tune of 750 bucks.( retail is 1200 in my defense) Most of a paycheck for me. They will look fucking great when I finally hit my GW though is what I tell myself when I am not a fucking gargantuan hippopotamus planet sumo wrestler.
So I won't be able to afford to binge unless I charge stuff to my credit card.
But at least I have cute boots coming ha.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] I and leaving the person I was "dating" because they are fat and don't care about themselves and it is really triggering (long post with TLDR at beging)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 11 09:24:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wtown/i_and_leaving_the_person_i_was_dating_because/
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[removed]
I just purged
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 11 09:15:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wtmst/i_just_purged/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wtmst/i_just_purged/
[Other] ~*Saturday Night*~
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 11 08:55:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wtiis/saturday_night/
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https://i.redd.it/q76gke8svlf01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Came home for my birthday
/u/thebeesknees19 [Height 5ā6.5ā | CW 100 lbs | BMI 16.21 | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 08:54:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wtia1/came_home_for_my_birthday/
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Like the title says, I came home for my birthday yesterday. Since I got here, Iāve been on one long binge that only stopped for sleep. Pizza, garlic bread, steak, mashed potatoes, broccoli, red velvet cake, cookies, crackers, chips. Foods I donāt really keep at school because...well because of times like this. Iāve seriously been eating constantly since I got here.
On top of that, my boyfriend made a joke about how I never eat at college, and my parents wonāt stop pestering me about my eating habits. He didnāt mean any harm by it but ////: My dad made me list off all the things I eat while Iām away and told me I need to eat more. Theyāre making me take whatās left of my cake and birthday dinner back with me now, too.
To be fair, Iāve lost a lot of weight in the last couple of months, but I canāt tell them Iām a recovering addict and that quitting drinking is why I lost 20 pounds. Most parents would be happy, but mine would just get stuck on the disappointment of me being a drug addict in the first place.
Sorry I didnāt mean for this to turn into a sad, pathetic rant. I just feel so targeted, and Iām ready to leave.
EDIT: Ninja edit because I canāt type.
[Other] snacks?
/u/waisu [5ā2|CW:145|GW:90|F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 08:34:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wtea8/snacks/
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Does anyone have any tips for not eating when super hungry? like any things to do to take your mind off of eating? i would also appreciate low calorie foods (preferably 0) that i could munch on if i really need to. thanks in advance :)
[Discussion] Water retention and workouts?
/u/library-cat [5'6" | 132 | 21.3 | 22F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 08:26:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wtcm6/water_retention_and_workouts/
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Earlier this week I weighed in at a new LW but after some really intense workouts my weight has gone up again. I have some serious DOMS in my legs (like....it hurts to sit down lmao) and I was wondering if that could account for the gain - do difficult workouts make you retain water? I'm finding conflicting information about it. I know it's not muscle weight because I'm eating at a pretty big deficit and I'd need a surplus to build any real muscle.
[Help] Some questions on laxatives, should I take them as a one time thing?
/u/ViceroyInTheMorning [5'5'' | CW ā¹ļø | BMI š¹ | 3lbs to GW1 | F 20]
Created: Sun Feb 11 08:18:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wtb1q/some_questions_on_laxatives_should_i_take_them_as/
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[removed]
[Help] Sore skin after bingeing/eating a lot?
/u/Throwawacct1992 [5'1" | CW 110 | 21.7 | HW 132 | LW 100 | GW 95]
Created: Sun Feb 11 08:08:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wt92y/sore_skin_after_bingeingeating_a_lot/
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I havenāt binged in awhile, luckily, but this is something Iāve been meaning to ask about because it happens to me pretty much every time i binge, or really any time I go over like 2000 calories, especially with lots of carbs. The next morning, Iāll wake up and my skin will be sore to the touch over my entire body, especially on my upper/lower back, abdomen, and thighs. Itās not something that happened to me before I started restricting regularly, but now it happens basically any time I have a large meal at a restaurant or something. Has anyone else heard of/experienced this? I just assume itās because of water retention, but it seems weird.
[Rant/Rave] Tip: Not eating is easy when you're heartbroken.
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Sun Feb 11 07:53:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wt65v/tip_not_eating_is_easy_when_youre_heartbroken/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Valentines day nightmare
/u/flightofapollo24
Created: Sun Feb 11 07:29:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wt271/valentines_day_nightmare/
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I feel absolutely horrible right now... I already have my plan to drink coffee n water to flush most of everything out.
Point is, ive been restricting 800-600 cals plus low carb since the middle of December. Last night my husband and i decided to celebrate our first valentines as a married couple and make our own pizza and stuff. One thing led to another and i didnt stop eating.
Now im awake and all i feel is horrible and regret for last night... Regret for eating and not for spending time with the person i love the most on this planet. This obsession takes away from important times in my life and its destroying me. Im just thinking of how i can mask my fast because he checks my eating.
[Help] My bf wants to have sex, but I don't want him to see my disgusting body
/u/110_percent_bot
Created: Sun Feb 11 06:41:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wstu0/my_bf_wants_to_have_sex_but_i_dont_want_him_to/
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I've been dating this really sweet guy for a few months now, and a while ago he mentioned that he'd like to have sex, and I said I wasn't ready yet. He's been completely understanding, but today he brought it up again, and I told him that if I were skinny I'd want to, but I hate how I look and just feel disgusted at the thought of someone else seeing all of the fat on me. He said it's fine, he's fine waiting... Btw he knows about some of my milder ED habits, but has no idea about my ED.
anyway I don't really know why I'm posting this...just wondering if any of you have been in a situation like this and have any thoughts, advice... I just wish I was back at my LW so this wouldn't be a problem...
[Tip] sad fat girl confession
/u/commtra [5'7 | BMI: 20 | GW:100 | -44 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 06:34:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wssw0/sad_fat_girl_confession/
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[removed]
[Goal] Another "officially underweight" thread...
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | "recovering" | š: cinnamonbicycle]
Created: Sun Feb 11 06:16:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wsq3n/another_officially_underweight_thread/
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But I'm still a whale.
I've been officially underweight for a few days now so it's nothing new, but this morning I hit 100.5 which is a new LW for this relapse and I still look hideous.
The BMI at which I can wrap my hands around my thighs is the BMI at which I'm pretty. It astounds me at how huge they are even at a relatively lower weight. Feels like they've hardly changed at all since my highest weight.
Maybe if I got into the lower 90s I'd be enough.
[Discussion] Chewing and spitting?
/u/mhruined
Created: Sun Feb 11 06:02:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wsnxt/chewing_and_spitting/
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Throwaway account because this is something I noticed myself doing more and more lately and I wanted to ask for your opinions. Iāve been on a diet for the past 5 months, went from 180 lbs to 135 lbs (Iām 5ā3). Goal is 115 lbs. Lately I got into this habit of chewing the food (usually sweets) I crave and then immediately spitting it after without swallowing anything. I see it as a way to satisfy my cravings without actually eating any extra calories. This way I can still taste the food I want to eat, but without actually eating it.
I donāt think I have an eating disorder, but are there other people who do this? Is this common? Should I stop?
[Rant/Rave] I am tired of being tired
/u/nopenopenpoenope
Created: Sun Feb 11 05:40:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wskrg/i_am_tired_of_being_tired/
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I am tired. Lethargic. Empty. Dead inside. I tire from physical exhaustion, but more than that... I tire of what I have become, this wretched love affair with my own degradation. How did I ever let it get this bad? Once upon a time, I was a person. I had ambitions and dreams. Things I wanted to do, places I wanted to go. I was a vivacious young woman with the world at my fingertips. I could have had anything. That's gone now, all gone. Anorexia has ruined all of my relationships. It has stripped me of all my hobbies and dreams, destroyed my ability to cope with stress or even think with a halfway rational mind. I am frustrated, and I do not know how to express the anger I feel toward myself for this lost potential. On one hand, I still adore myself. On the other, I feel a disconcerting ambivalence about how willing I am to accept this life of no living.
Who cares if I'm 35 kilos? I think I'm too thin. Everyone around me thinks I'm too think. I bury myself in layers and lie about my weight because I am ashamed to be the poster child of anorexia, to have my weight on display for all the world to see. Yet the thought of myself twenty kilos ago or the sight of anyone larger than I am fills me with a certain disgust and fear, as distasteful as this confession may make my character. I've become so bitter. I'm no fun anymore. Everything is big. Everyone. I am small, delicate, fragile. I don't want to be big. ...at the expense of what? Everything else in life? My dear, my dear, there is so much more. Life is more than whether you can encircle your bicep. It's more than your next meal or trip to the store, which you'll feel anxious about anyway from mental fatigue. I didn't used to be so anxious. Can't you see beyond your delusion..? I want to live! I want to be free! I don't want to gain weight. I don't want to lose weight. I don't want anything. Please, please, just let me be.
Anorexia has given me one good thing. The isolation it brings has made me aware of myself in ways most people will never grasp. I am whole, complete, and feel a certain contendedness in myself. Everything is awful, but I still have me. My eating disorder has given this to me. Ironically, it also stands as the only threat to my wholeness of self, despite being the instigator. I am stuck in circular reasoning. I am stuck in vicious circles and incoherent logic that defies the bounds of rationality. I am happy to be a fool, yet upset with my foolishness.
More than anything, I am tired. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of being anything, of my own stupidity which I loathe and celebrate all at once. Please, forgive me.
[Rant/Rave] I don't know whether to be flattered or ashamed or both or what...
/u/strawstring [Height 5'10 | CW :( | -76lbs | 20F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 05:32:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wsjkd/i_dont_know_whether_to_be_flattered_or_ashamed_or/
---
So I've been trying to be more "open" and out of my comfort zone with meeting new people (especially guys) since I am usually terrible at first impressions/insecure - but I'm in a new place and know absolutely no one. The other night I was talking to someone who said they "were shocked I was American" because I'm "slim"... I'm not sure if it was a language thing but I have never been called slim, skinny, etc in god knows how long. It felt amazing and weird at the same time??
Then just this past Friday I met a guy who I walked/talked with for a few hours. I asked him what things he couldn't stand, and he paused, obviously not wanting to sound like an asshole, and said he can't stand fat people because he doesn't understand how that could happen to someone and he hates the gluttony of it all. Which I understand, but obviously as we all know it isn't that simple. He has no idea that I've lost a ton of weight and I really didn't know what to say about it all (not to mention my bulimic-leaning "ed" is the definition of gluttony). It's not like it's a HUGE deal since I barely know him, but I just can't stop thinking about it.
These two little things that were said to me are sticking in my head and I just cannot stop thinking about them!! Anyone else have dumb stuff like this cloud everything they think about?? People saying things that mean nothing to them, but everything to you??
[Discussion] This is gross but...goodbye binges!
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Sun Feb 11 05:30:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wsj8o/this_is_gross_butgoodbye_binges/
---
So I think I figured out how to kill my binge cycle.
Lately, every time I overeat, I get HORRIBLE sulfurous burps. They last anywhere from hours to days and I canāt leave my house because they smell so bad. Iāve tried Apple cigar vinegar, Manuka honey, tums, tea...nothing helps.
I know itās because I fucked up my body from not eating. My body feels like itās rejecting food now. But maybe the fact that Iām homebound and gross will keep me from doing it again?
Maybe?
Please?
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 11, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Feb 11 05:11:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wsgvt/daily_food_diary_february_11_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 11, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Feb 11 05:11:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wsgsu/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Discussion] any boys out there?
/u/tenamzobo
Created: Sun Feb 11 04:50:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wse6m/any_boys_out_there/
---
sometimes i feel super out of place in the ednos community since the majority is girls/women. sometimes trans men. doesnt help that im also mexican so that adds to the rarity cause i hardly ever see any poc in this community. any boys, or women of color even?
[Other] From Chris Kraus' novel Aliens & Anorexia. I must read this.
/u/Deviiation [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 24.18 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Sun Feb 11 03:24:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ws3yy/from_chris_kraus_novel_aliens_anorexia_i_must/
---
https://i.imgur.com/RkdTJyk.png
[Other] Interesting clipping from Rebecca J. Lester's The (Dis)Embodied Self in Anorexia Nervosa.
/u/Deviiation [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 24.18 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Sun Feb 11 03:18:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ws3br/interesting_clipping_from_rebecca_j_lesters_the/
---
https://i.imgur.com/zVhFwIF.png
[Discussion] Not directly ED related- Mirena coil HELP
/u/Clev3rgirl84
Created: Sun Feb 11 02:55:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ws0gm/not_directly_ed_related_mirena_coil_help/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Everything says give up.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 11 02:11:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wrv8l/everything_says_give_up/
---
On mobile flair as rant
I don't want a god damn Ana buddy you fucking automod. I poured my fucking tears and emotions into a long post and the automod flagged my post not that anyone was going to see it anyway.
I binged and I'm fasting again and it a just an endless cycle and I can't keep this up. I just want to starve to death. I can't deal with any of this right now. I pushed away the person who actually cared about me or tried to care about me because they were an unabashed unashamed unhealthy fatass that made me feel sicker and wish for a quicker death.
Just fucking kill me. I need to harm. To feel all this pain. I deserve pain.
Willow.
[Intro] Introduction
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Sun Feb 11 01:19:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wrp8e/introduction/
---
So, I've been a lurker on here for about a year now but I've never posted until today. I'm on mobile so I'm not sure how to post flair. I'm sorry if I'm doing anything wrong. I'm kind of nervous to be honest.
I don't really know how I got like this, but here we are. I'm a 23 year-old female and I graduated college a little over a year ago. What started as losing weight to become healthier (my heighest weight was 118; I'm at 96 now) has spiraled into an obsession and I can't stop. I've always hated the way my body looked. I'm only 5'2 and honestly I can't even tell I've lost the amount of weight I have already by looking at myself. All I see is fat. Everywhere. I can't stop the way I've become. But at this point, I don't want to.
I hope this makes any sort of sense. I don't know what to anymore. My family and boyfriend don't realize I have an ED and I'm hurting. I guess I'm just posting here in the hopes of being accepted.
[Intro] Intro/back on the wagon post
/u/Cesaresomnambule [5ā4 | 120 | 21 ):| 10 | f]
Created: Sun Feb 11 01:09:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wrnwb/introback_on_the_wagon_post/
---
Back in high school I was anorexic. I got below 100, got called tiny, could wear anything and not look gross. Then bulimia came. I shot up 30 lbs, look and feel gross, eat everything I can get my hands on. In the few years of bulimia Iāve gotten really good at purging. I can vomit at will, no hand or toothbrush required. But Iāve developed some kind of acid reflux, and often now when I purge I feel a piercing pain in my side. If I keep going like this Iāll end up in a hospital. But Iām not skinny enough to go to the hospital for an ED, I feel like Iām just pretending even though I throw up every time I eat. I have to get back on the anorexia wagon if I can, because if Iām going to be self-destructive I might as well look pretty while Iām at it.
This got a lot darker than I was planning. Oh well, nice to meet you all. Iāll be staying here awhile.
[Tip] Snack Hack
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 11 01:01:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wrmrj/snack_hack/
---
I may be on to something... or I may just be crazy.
I loooove me some cucumber & red pepper slices but I also love my ranch/caesar/whatever calorie-laden dipping sauce. I live for flavor what can I say. BUT I may have just found the holy grail veggie dip, hear me out. Sriracha. Almost 0 cals. Super flavorful. Spicy = appetite suppression. Add in water-filled veg slices & you have a satisfying snack that literally fills you up & takes away your appetite (nutrients as an added bonus lol). Maybe I'm a nut but I love sriracha, jalapeƱo, any spicy food. This is a winner for me. Best low cal veggie dip I've come up with yet, hell ya.
My Insta fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 11 00:57:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wrmbj/my_insta_fast/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Iām officially underweight
/u/katheriiiine
Created: Sun Feb 11 00:39:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wrjyo/im_officially_underweight/
---
So the past few weeks I have been eating pretty normal no heavy restrictions or anything and tbh I thought I would have gained like maybe a kilo or so!
But I checked today, after having eaten a ton! And my scale read 50.2 kgs and I hadnāt thought about food or not eating or losing weight the whole few weeks!
Thinking I was getting better, but as soon as I saw that number I was so fkn happy!!!
Guess Iām back, next goal here I come!
[Rant/Rave] Who needs love or people when you have Taco Bell?
/u/Jusaliability
Created: Sun Feb 11 00:29:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wrimt/who_needs_love_or_people_when_you_have_taco_bell/
---
And boxes of girl scout cookies.
And fudge rounds?
And Funyuns.
And pizza.
Throw in Netflix and a couple drugs, you have my weekend. Alone with money for food and unlimited shows to watch.
My self isolation skills are top notch
Will someone just kill me now.
I'm so bloated. And so not sober I'm not sure I care.
I'm sorry if this isn't useful to anyone. I am sorry for existing.
To know all of you are suffering in some version of the same way is breaking my heart.
Nobody asks for this. Nobody deserves to feel like this.
51.9kg to 45
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 11 00:28:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wriix/519kg_to_45/
---
https://i.redd.it/g6s83jsbdjf01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I may have dumped my fat "partner" because they are fat and I feel like a really shitty person. (long long post, TLDR will be at the end)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 11 00:22:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wrhp5/i_may_have_dumped_my_fat_partner_because_they_are/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Itās been a shit morning :(
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword
Created: Sun Feb 11 00:20:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wrhfy/its_been_a_shit_morning/
---
I canāt deal with things.
I lost my headphones and I have an iPhone without a headphone jack so Iām never going to get to listen to music again. I canāt even go to an apple store because there are none that I know of where I live.
I am so fucking hungry but I canāt eat because itās a fast day because all I did Friday-Saturday was binge. And I mean BINGE. Like half a vegan chocolate cake, several brownies, 5 vegan cookies, 2 sleeves of Oreos, 3 bowls of waffle crisp, candy, mentos, a bag of chips, cheesy quiche, soup, chocolate, salads with olive oil based dressing, fish, eggs, and the list goes on kind of binge. But because of said binge I canāt eat and I drank a coffee and bought 2 diet cokes but it was so expensive because it was at a train station and ugh.
I also woke up this morning covered in blood thanks to my beloved monthly punishment. Cool.
Basically this morning is off to a bad start and I really hope I can hold myself back from breaking my fast because my host mom* got me cookies to bring with me to base this week and those are my weakness.
Hereās to a better afternoon. I hope. :/
*I live in a different country alone so I have a fake āadoptedā mom who helps me with stuff and sometimes apparently gives me cookies š¤·š»āāļø
[Help] I need help
/u/gabebega
Created: Sat Feb 10 23:55:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wrdyb/i_need_help/
---
Hi, I am new to this community. I was doing well last year but summer vacation (south hemisphere) is making me crazy. There are so many parties and āget togethersā and so many foods and drinks. I have been binging so much. Feeling like shit, like isolating myself from the world till I lose weight. Anyone feeling like this?
[Tip] Pro-tip: flavor your rice cakes with Mrs. Dash! (no salt, 0 cal)
/u/dearisabella [5'2" | CW: 120 | GW: 105 | 21F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 23:54:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wrdsk/protip_flavor_your_rice_cakes_with_mrs_dash_no/
---
Here are [the flavors](http://www.mrsdash.com/products/seasoning-blends) they offer. Mustard is also a low-cal topping!
I'm just having a really hard time
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 10 23:27:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wra1h/im_just_having_a_really_hard_time/
---
[deleted]
Lapse
/u/KatsREAM [5'2"| CW: 104 | GW: 90 | UGW: 74]
Created: Sat Feb 10 22:42:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wr30a/lapse/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Would you date someone with an ED?
/u/resurrectedpiranha
Created: Sat Feb 10 22:35:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wr1ye/would_you_date_someone_with_an_ed/
---
I think I wouldn't, purely because we'll probably end up dead together. Although the thought of non-food dates and non-food homes is enticing... What about you guys?
[Help] Low heart rate?
/u/shoqer [154cm | CW: 40kg | BMI 16.8| GW: lower | 21y/o]
Created: Sat Feb 10 22:23:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wqzxs/low_heart_rate/
---
I'm in the ER for my low blood sugar and low blood pressure. This is the first time since my ED started that my heart rate is measured.
So, my resting heart rate was around 50 bpm when I was admitted and needed to be monitored for a while. Its average has been dropping since that time, to around 41 bpm now. Sometimes it dropped to 35 bmp.
I'm really scared because it's not only low, but also very irregular, jumping from 40 to 60 and then dropping again. I don't know when I can come home yet. And I'm scared at the alarm of the machine (ringing whenever under 40).
The doctors also freaked me out when they "feed" me liquid glucose, forced me to eat or else they will have to use the feeding tube, and the worst of all: I need to stop going to the gym as it would make my heart rate even lower.
Ana and Mia and "me" are fighting with each other. My Mom will not let me restrict (no Ana) , nor get rid of the calories by going to the gym (no Mia) anymore. Ana and Mia are telling me that I will get fat. But I actually want to recover, because I don't want to experience the feeling of going to sleep fearing that I might not get up again.
Maybe this is goodbye. Or maybe it's just a rant. Never had I felt so undercontrolled, and even worse, by some stupid persona in my head.
[Rant/Rave] Cheated on a fast and was promptly punished
/u/IrrelevantDegenerate
Created: Sat Feb 10 22:14:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wqycj/cheated_on_a_fast_and_was_promptly_punished/
---
First post here! Lost a lot of weight thanks to fasting recently but that kind of turned into an obsession with becoming as small and light as possible thru fasting and vomiting, so I guess I belong here now too
I was on day 4 of a fast (aiming for 10 days) and my friend invited me to breakfast and my cravings got the better of me and I ate a cookie with her. Turns out the cookie had walnuts, which I'm super allergic to, and my throat started closing and my face got super swollen, had to go to the ER and barely could breathe by the time we got there, even after using an epipen earlier. Got hooked up to an IV and treated quickly, but there goes my entire Saturday because of one poor choice. Had to cancel a party I was hosting and couldn't finish an assignment for my class (teacher didn't accept the doctor's note I emailed him because we had 5 days to work on it, ugh) Possibly the worst way I was "rewarded" for breaking a fast.
Tl;dr: got punished for breaking my fast in the worst possible way, ended up in the ER in anaphylactic shock
[Other] When I saw this I swore it was in here
/u/emaxiii [5'5 | CW 129 | GW 111 | F 21]
Created: Sat Feb 10 21:50:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wqua5/when_i_saw_this_i_swore_it_was_in_here/
---
https://i.redd.it/an009u87lif01.jpg
[Tip] Scurvy is a real thing...
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5" | CW š± | -29.2lbs]
Created: Sat Feb 10 21:13:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wqnyx/scurvy_is_a_real_thing/
---
Remember to get your vitamins and minerals, friends! I won't have any lasting damage -- caught onto what was happening pretty quickly. But *WHOBOY*, what a trip it was.
[Discussion] DAE have trouble picturing a future?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 115 | GW: small | F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 21:08:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wqn56/dae_have_trouble_picturing_a_future/
---
My ED has fueled my depression to the point where I can't see two feet in front of me. Not literally, of course. But I try to think of life beyond this week, this month, this year... I have no idea how it will turn out. I'm almost completely apathetic. It's like I'm just paralyzed in the middle of time, except each second keeps passing, so I know the world is still progressing... I used to have dreams, at least some vision for the future. Maybe grad school, some sort of relationship, kids, the whole works. Now I can't see that anymore. I can't see the girl who used to imagine those things. I can't see anything.
I'm just sort of floating here... And it scares the shit out of me. So instead of thinking about it, I just choose to stay numb and hazy.
[Help] App or site that calculates body?
/u/parawhour
Created: Sat Feb 10 20:31:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wqgjl/app_or_site_that_calculates_body/
---
I remember reading on a thread on here that there was a site or something that was better than just calculating your BMI because it showed what your body looked like or something so it gives you a better idea of your weight and how it looks and whatnot?? Does anyone know what Iām talking about? I just really wanna use the site because Iām panicking after I just weighed myself.
Please help.
Edit: itās bodyvisualizer! thank you sweettutu64!
Someone posted in the comments asking about an app that tells you what body shape you have (pear, apple, etc.) and Iām intrigued so if someone could comment with that app name that would be great!
[Rant/Rave] Dumped my boyfriend for saying that he wonāt visit me when I go inpatient
/u/LiteralMangina [5ā7 | 98lbs | 15.3 | -27 | F(23)]
Created: Sat Feb 10 20:13:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wqd1x/dumped_my_boyfriend_for_saying_that_he_wont_visit/
---
Hospitals make him feel bad so he doesnāt want to come visit me for even an hour a week, never mind the fact that would mean Iād be going a couple weeks to a couple months without ever seeing a familiar face. He also said that I donāt need any specialists and that I just need to fucking eat more. āOooh poor baby feels anxiety when she eats! Get OVER it! Just fucking DO IT!ā.
Any Netflix/gaming type distraction suggestions would be wonderful because right now I canāt decide between spending my entire savings on Uber eats, never eating again, or jumping in front of a train. I donāt have any friends or family, the only people I have in my life is him, my therapist, and my GP. I also have the next two days off to stew in how shitty my life is so PLEASE just distract me or kill me
[Goal] OFFICIALLY UNDERWEIGHT
/u/andieoli13
Created: Sat Feb 10 17:42:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wpjcz/officially_underweight/
---
At 5'2" and 101.6lbs I am officially underweight. I am so close to double digits. I am so fucking happy!
Stay safe X
[Other] I just contemplated eating lip balm
/u/Strawberry2point0 [5'8" | CW: 164 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | 21M]
Created: Sat Feb 10 17:17:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wpdxs/i_just_contemplated_eating_lip_balm/
---
In my defense, it was a tasty chocolate-scented one from Lush and I was in binge mode + craving chocolate.
...that's not a good enough excuse tho.
[Other] metabolic analyzers?
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Sat Feb 10 17:11:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wpco6/metabolic_analyzers/
---
Hey! Its been a semi-while i guess. Dont post frequently anymore and the whiskeys have gotten away with me, but I hope yall are doing and feeling as well as you can. Anywho---So yall think they are a bunch of hullabaloo or can you trust them? I'm so curious because I actually want to find a way to use the few dollars I have to get something like this if possible. For my sanity(?). I'm too brain dead all the time these days to accurately map weight trends aside from self-destructive "oh up 3? Bye. Down 3? +/- +/- Pig out!" And then psych out. I'm just really tired. Im just so tired honestly. Do any of yall own one? Or know of a good one? I think if I got my shit together and could compare I could get a better grip on all of this. Less paranoia should be beneficial if anything. I'm planning to try to leave the house again, maybe ride my bike for the first time! I'm procrastinating just because of my excuse of cold weather (lol I live in ga but still!). Regardless, have any of y all owned one of them? Or know of good ones? Or where to find them (preferably not in a gym as I hate leaving the house)? Just curious. Stay lovely š
[Rant/Rave] Brussels sprout farts (tmi warning)
/u/yaogauiasaurus
Created: Sat Feb 10 16:06:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7woymn/brussels_sprout_farts_tmi_warning/
---
Guys. I've been eating almost nothing but brussel sprouts since October. It's really my only safe food.
The farts are toxic. Do not.... I repeat do not be like me. I'm disgusting.
[Help] Discussing disordered eating with a therapist
/u/LetThereBeCorgis [5'2" | CW:105 | GW:95 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 15:43:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wotdj/discussing_disordered_eating_with_a_therapist/
---
It's hard not to go into a really long backstory but I'll try to keep this short as possible.
I have family issues. I've been thinking about it a lot and I feel that therapy is the only way to overcome them. I'd probably need to see one by myself first because I think that I may be depressed, which probably stems from an unstable home environment. I'm hoping this would show my parents that I'm serious about this and that they might understand the effect that their behaviour is having on me, which would convince them to see someone as well.
I thought about it more and realised that seeing a therapist would require admitting to the therapist my disordered eating. I read recently that malnourishment feeds into feelings of depression. Maybe I'm an idiot for not already knowing this, but it really explained a lot about my situation. My problem is that I still have more weight that I want to lose, but a therapist might tell me that in order to get better I need to stop restricting.
In short, will I have to give up weight loss for therapy to work? I feel like all the weight (ha) is on my shoulders right now and so if keeping a body I'm unhappy with means that my family life could possibly be normal then I should definitely take it. I just wish that it wouldn't have to come down to that.
I've never posted here before and I'm pretty nervous about it, but you all seem like such lovely and caring people so I know that this is the right place to share. Any other advice is also much appreciated. Thanks guys :)
[Help] (This is awful I know) but can someone estimate how many calories or grams of fat are absorbed when frying something in canola oil?
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5ā4ā | cw 118 | gw 110 | bmi 20.7]
Created: Sat Feb 10 15:32:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wor6f/this_is_awful_i_know_but_can_someone_estimate_how/
---
I really want to make vegan chicken nuggets tonight, and I coat seitan in flour then fry it in hot canola oil for about 2-3 min then let it dry on a towel. Any idea just how bad this is for me? I decided already im definitely not eating tomorrow because of it lol
[Tip] Don't forget to back up your Libra app.
/u/scrawny-cat [5' 6"|CW 121lb|BMI 19.61|GW 112lb|F32]
Created: Sat Feb 10 15:31:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7woqw2/dont_forget_to_back_up_your_libra_app/
---
My phone suddenly won't turn on and I think I've just lost two years of data.
I'm going to have fun trying to put that back together from MFP, Yunmai and Google Fit logs.
[Goal] Iāve got netball grading next week and Iām going to be the hottest girl there
/u/isaezraa
Created: Sat Feb 10 14:58:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wojf3/ive_got_netball_grading_next_week_and_im_going_to/
---
[removed]
[Tip] Quick fix for dizziness and fainting
/u/invisibone [5'5" | CAN MUSCLE REALLY WEIGH THAT MUCH MORE| F |]
Created: Sat Feb 10 14:50:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wohpy/quick_fix_for_dizziness_and_fainting/
---
Glucose tablets. They're meant for diabetics, but they're 15 calories, 4 grams of carbs, and literally nothing else. Taste like candy too. One or two will almost instantly bring your blood sugar up enough to keep you moving.
[Discussion] [discussion] Weird/ Gross things you do related to your ED?
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW:š| GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 14:46:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wogx6/discussion_weird_gross_things_you_do_related_to/
---
Iāll go first:
-obsessively touch my collarbones and wrists
-hover over people as they cook/ eat and try to smell their delicious food. Also stare creepily at people while they eat.
-stand in the aisles of grocery stores for hours comparing nutritional labels, only to not buy anything
-my most used app is my calorie tracking app. I literally spend hours on it.
-pick scraps off others peopleās plates after theyāve left them on the counter and went to bed. Iāve even picked things out of the sink before
What are some things you do that are probably ED related?
[Discussion] Do waist trainers work!
/u/Disputeanocean
Created: Sat Feb 10 14:38:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7woexl/do_waist_trainers_work/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Halo Top equivalent coming to Korea!
/u/exgravitas [F/24/160 | CW 55 | GW 48.5]
Created: Sat Feb 10 14:22:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wobci/halo_top_equivalent_coming_to_korea/
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Thank fuck
For the past couple years Iāve been blind with envy of all the countries graced by the halo top gods, messaging them to ask when they might come to wee olā Korea please.
Then just now I was scrolling through instagram when they recommend me a post about something called [Lala Sweet](https://www.wadiz.kr/web/campaign/detail/14720).
They only have 3 flavors at the moment(vanilla, chocolate, green tea) as it seems theyāre just starting up via crowd funding. And thereās about 17 days before they begin shipping, I believe.
Jump on it, friends! Eeeee
[Rant/Rave] just a reminder that one bad day doesnt have to stop you!
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 99.2 | 17.6 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 14:09:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wo8hw/just_a_reminder_that_one_bad_day_doesnt_have_to/
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So yesterday, I was having a tough day. I was fasting for about twenty hours, but still did some exercising and some biking. I was holding back the urge to binge all day, and i totally broke. english muffin with butter, fuckton of cereal, wafers, a brownie, like goddamn. I felt disgusting and gross.
and yet this morning! I was 100.4 (only .2 up from the day before!) and managed to spend a whole day out shopping with a friend without eating at ALL. Not the free chocolates offered at godiva, no taco bell which we stopped at after, and none of the pizza my boyfriend left out when i got home. NONE. Just water and diet soda. And now im back at 20 hours fasted!
Just because you feel like you hit a 'rock bottom', doesnt mean you have to give up! yesterday doesnt even KNOW today, okay? you got this!
These new diet cokes are so damn good!
/u/Bluelilly582 [5'3" | 146 lbs | BMI 24 | ]
Created: Sat Feb 10 13:57:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wo5zh/these_new_diet_cokes_are_so_damn_good/
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https://imgur.com/gallery/h2XxT
[Help] really dumb problem I have
/u/phantomsalad
Created: Sat Feb 10 13:49:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wo40m/really_dumb_problem_i_have/
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first of all, long time lurker, first time poster, so hi.
This morning I woke up and couldn't stop myself from eating 3 cheez-it crackers I had sitting on my desk left over from last night's binge. That's about 15 calories. I did not plan to eat 15 calories, so I felt like a failure. Now today I've eaten about 600, all because I felt like a failure from eating three crackers. It's so irrational. I took a bunch of adderall to kill my hunger for the rest of the day. But even though I ate well below my TDEE today, and only a few hundred more than I normally eat, I feel like I failed because I couldn't control 15 goddamn calories. What the hell. Anyone else?
fuck
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 10 13:28:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wnz6m/fuck/
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[deleted]
How do I get my fat friend off my back? Slowing down progress?
/u/BreMarieNirvana
Created: Sat Feb 10 13:27:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wnyvx/how_do_i_get_my_fat_friend_off_my_back_slowing/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I Feel Like Iām Disappointing My S/O
/u/breadstickpolice
Created: Sat Feb 10 12:47:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wnpj3/i_feel_like_im_disappointing_my_so/
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So this is my first post on here, but Iāve been struggling with this really bad for the past week and I just want to know that thereās someone out there that feels the same way.
So Iāve been dating my boyfriend for about two months now, and within the past month or so Iāve slowly told him about my ED. He knows that I purge and restrict, and I try really hard to hide it, but always inevitably get drunk and confess.
Heās really supportive. Heās not like my ex, who always just told me ways to lose weight when I expressed how bad I felt about my body. He always tells me iām beautiful and I donāt have to change my body unless I want to in a healthy way. I couldnāt ask for anyone better.
The thing is, I feel like every time I fuck up and purge iām disappointing him. I feel so weak and awful and I wish that I was strong enough to restrict more. I was doing really well at restricting back in September and lost like ten pounds. Iāve since gained at least half of it back. Lately iāve just been having a really hard time eating and not letting it turn into a bingeā or, I panic and purge a normal sized meal because I feel that itās too much or too unhealthy.
For example, one of our dorms on campus has late night dining until midnight. Me and my friends go pretty often because our eating schedules are weird, and I like being social with my friends but the idea of being in a dining hall and having to control myself is near impossible, especially when itās full of cereal and pizza and cookies. The other night we went and I was just going to be normal and have a glass of Coke Zero (god bless), but I got there and decided to have a slice of pizza, five cookies, and a bunch of this curry tofu. I wasnāt going to purge. Iām trying really hard to stop, but I panicked and found myself moving on autopilot towards the bathroom with my stolen spoon in hand. I ended up purging all of it in this gross dining hall bathroom, and my eyes were all red and watery and I was shaking and I just felt even worse than before. I went back out to my friends, and they all looked confused because they had wondered where I had disappeared to, and my boyfriend had even texted me. For a second I knewā I knew that at least he knew but he wasnāt saying anything and I felt so awful. I felt so weak and shitty and like I was just disappointing him even more. I want to lose weight so I can look good, and so he can have someone really hot for a girlfriend, even though he says I am. I just wish I could be strong and not binge and purge.
Sorry this post is so long and rambly, I just need to know that thereās other people out there that feel this way too. How do you cope with it? Are you ever afraid theyāll break up with you because of your ED? I feel like this all the time.
[Rant/Rave] Why did I weigh myself
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 12:25:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wnk71/why_did_i_weigh_myself/
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I have already eaten today. I haven't pooped since I binged on Wednesday. I am bloated from sodium and alcohol. I just downed a fuck ton of diet coke and water.
So why did I step on that fucking scale?? Last Sunday I weighed 102lbs and now I am at 107lbs. I already feel disgusting trying to damage control from the binge, and now I KNOW I am disgusting.
Don't even care that this will hit me in the middle of the night, I am taking a lax and flushing my system.
[Rant/Rave] Back after 26 days
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sat Feb 10 12:24:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wnk5k/back_after_26_days/
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I noticed that this sub fuels my ED and I was getting to a dark place so I deleted the app and havenāt logged on in 26 days. I was at 104 (5ā1) and happy with myself but also eager to get to 95.
Well since then Iāve told my new bf about my struggles with food and aside from quite a few binges and the regular fasting I have actually been feeling like a regular person. Even tho I am still weird about food I have been caring significantly less. I still think I am around 106-7 (itās hard to tell bc I got extensions and I eat regularly during the week and am usually bloated) but I just want to get back into heavy restricting and get down to where I want to be. I weighed 116(!!!) Friday morning after a binge and I havenāt eaten since then. Iām terrified some of those 10lbs are real weight and idk I have been way too lazy lately and eating so much and I need to get my shit together.
But this sub also fuels my depression, I have felt oh so depressed lately.
[Rant/Rave] Family starting weightloss challenge... watch me out myself
/u/elttil_snatas [5'3" | CW 185lbs | Obese Whale | -10lbs | F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 12:02:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wnenq/family_starting_weightloss_challenge_watch_me_out/
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So my lovely MIL just recently had a baby and was looking to lose a bit of weight. Knowing that hubby and i are already doing that she proposes a weightloss challenge. We each put in $10 and whoever loses the most weight gets to keep the money. Let me tell you... I am *so freaking ready*. I don't even want the money, I just want to win.
Her fiance kept going on and on and on about dieting while we were there. He was acting like his own personal experience with cleansing and finding out what foods his body doesn't tolerate was the end all be all of dieting knowledge. I tried to be polite by saying "oh well our diet just isn't super strict! We like to still enjoy bad foods occasionally haha" but oooohhhhh did he not let up. He started going at me for drinking a can of Dr pepper (and y'all know it ain't small shit when you let yourself have a non-diet soda as a treat!) So I'm gonna smash this challenge and make him eat his words!
Don't get me wrong, though, he's a really great guy but UGH. Don't fight me about food or dieting because I'll win, even if by the end of this I end up outing myself to the whole family š
[Help] Iām a liar, and my husband sees right through it.
/u/sentientdippindots
Created: Sat Feb 10 11:35:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wn881/im_a_liar_and_my_husband_sees_right_through_it/
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Sorry long post
So I had a baby 18 months ago, heās perfect (and yes, I wish I were a better mother, he deserves better than me with my fucked up issued) I worked SO hard to be āhealthyā (not restrict too much) so that I could get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. Honestly my stupid naive self kind of thought I had been cured, I felt gorgeous pregnant even though I was a whale, it was the strangest thing, I LOVED it but I gained a ton of weight in pregnancy (70lbs you guys, 70 goddamned pounds) and when I had my son 5lbs came off. Thatās it. So 65lbs up pre-preg thatās like...almost a whole damned person.
Of course having to buy new clothes triggered me, of course looking at myself triggered me, but I fought it until the day he stopped breastfeeding. Conveniently for me as I stopped breastfeeding my doctor also diagnosed me with a minor thyroid issue triggered after pregnancy and put me on medication for it. I have been restricting again, back to my old habits, under 500c a day, 200 most days, losing 5-9lbs a week and Iāve convinced everyone that Iām losing SO much weight because of this thyroid medicine and that Iām eating soooo much but still somehow losing weight because wow this thyroid medicine is amazing.
So yesterday my husband and I are folding clothes and Iām giving some stuff to goodwill that doesnāt fit and frankly I donāt want to look at anymore and I say āgosh I am so glad I started that medicineā and he looks me straight in the eye and says āstarving yourself isnāt a medication. Weāll talk about this laterā He had to go on a work trip and is gone until Sunday.
FUCK.
[Discussion] February 10th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 11:10:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wn2gk/february_10th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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If this day was an animal, what animal would it be?
That shark thatās been alive for like 500 years, because Iām turning 27 1/2 today fml old balls
[Rant/Rave] When will I let myself recover?
/u/Mister_Wan
Created: Sat Feb 10 10:58:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wmzab/when_will_i_let_myself_recover/
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After a four-day long binge filled with thousands upon thousands of calories, I officially hit rock bottom. That was it. My worst and last binge, and I'm never doing it again. I almost passed out from the pain of my distended stomach and ringing ears and pounding heart in front of my friend when she unexpectedly ran into me in between trips to the store. She was surprised to see me at all--I was supposed to be in class. I went to the library at 2AM because the last store had just closed, and the only place left was the 24/7 vending machine on the second floor. Other students were still there studying; I was pretending to be one of them, books and papers laid out and all, but Lord knows that there was no room in my head for any thought besides the rushes of dopamine from the "study snack" that I was desperately trying to shove down my gullet as fast as possible while acting like it was as innocent and inconspicuous as any other 2AM study snack being consumed around me. I was squandering the money on the "emergency card" my mother left with me--one dollar at a time--buying a salty fix, and then a sweet, and then another salty. That was it. I needed to stop.
But of course not right now, not when I'd easily gained five pounds in a span of four days, not when I was bloated and swollen and disgusting. I needed to stop. But not before I got back on track. Then I'd recover for good, I'd eat 1,500 calories every single day, and I'd be the effortlessly slim girl that is envied when eating a slice of pizza. Just not yet.
So I made a calorie plan, meticulously counted and organized so that I'd melt away all of this horrible binge weight within three weeks. Fasting days dispersed between high restriction days, perfectly crafted so that it would be manageable, with any upcoming events taken into account and fit into the schedule. But after day 2 of fasting, I felt horrible. Why am I making myself go through this again? I'd always told myself that I wasn't sick and that I would recover as soon as I was at a good weight, but when will I ever be good enough?
I can't keep going through this. I'm either skipping classes to binge or not able to do my work because I'm so lightheaded. I can't focus on anything besides all the food that I'd just eaten or all the food that I can't eat. I need to get through this engineering degree because it's real work, a legitimate challenge that would make me and everyone around me proud. And god damnit, I am skinny and beautiful but I am also smart and capable. Why do I keep trying to prove to myself that I can starve when I could prove to everyone else that I can succeed? I need to stop. Not in three weeks, not when I'm perfect, but now.
I'm just not sure that I can.
[Discussion] Anyone else love weighing themselves in the days after a binge?
/u/broccolifan
Created: Sat Feb 10 10:53:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wmy5u/anyone_else_love_weighing_themselves_in_the_days/
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Iām at my GW but still restricting, so I do binge sometimes. Obviously I hate it/feel disgusting, but itās so satisfying to have my weight drop so quickly back to my CW after all the water bloat from binging. Does anyone else get a weird satisfaction out of this or am I crazy?
[Help] Stomach hurts so bad and donāt know what to do..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 10 10:53:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wmy5a/stomach_hurts_so_bad_and_dont_know_what_to_do/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] why do people feel the need to bash other people's bodies?!?!
/u/conspicere [š 5'3.5" | CW: 112 | GW: šÆ | š]
Created: Sat Feb 10 10:50:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wmxht/why_do_people_feel_the_need_to_bash_other_peoples/
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So I have this one friend (Friend1) who, ever since high school, has gained quite a bit of weight. She's always been kind of big, but since she's stopped playing sports in college she's gotten even bigger.
My other friend (Friend2) has gone through something similar as well. I'm absolute shit at estimating someone else's weight, but she has definitely gained a significant amount since high school as well. I'm not surprised that either of them have been gaining because they have absolute shit diets and don't exercise but that's a story for another time.
But lately, Friend2 has been talking mad shit about Friend1's body and it's really upsetting to me. She'll bring it up out of NOWHERE and then keep going on and on about how Friend1's thighs are "humongous" and "she could barely walk up the stairs yesterday."
She masks it by telling us "I'm just saying it because I'm really concerned about her health" but will go back through her old Facebook photos and shove them in my face like "See?! She's SO much bigger now!" and just go on and on about her body in front of our WHOLE friend group when she's not around.
I don't really know how to tell Friend2 that's she being a total bitch because she's been going through some really bad depressive/suicidal episodes and I don't want to upset her. But it's really triggering to my ED because I NEVER want to have someone talk about my body like that or go through all my old photos discussing how I used to look different. It makes me really upset and angry for Friend1's sake as well as my own.
Is there a gentle way to approach this? It doesn't happen all the time but often enough where it makes me apprehensive about hanging out with her.
[Help] How to make oatmeal not taste like garbage
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: whale | 22F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 10:47:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wmwts/how_to_make_oatmeal_not_taste_like_garbage/
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Pls help
[Rant/Rave] Vodka on an empty stomach is interesting
/u/misspennyfoolish
Created: Sat Feb 10 10:32:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wmt6t/vodka_on_an_empty_stomach_is_interesting/
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Headed into the city to meet a fuckboi on nothing but caffeine and vodka (3 hours of sleep last night Whoo) bc Iāve lost control of my life and have no self esteem but lots of OCD and food fear in its place.
Also I need friends who get it. Iām 26F and itās hard out here for someone out of school but living at home with a narcissistic verbally abusive mom and a Dad who wonāt do a thing about it. PM or comment for a listening ear, support, or just a chat. I also have lots of low cal recipes so I got that going for me (and not much else *sobs*). Seriously this sub has kept me from feeling totally alone
[Rant/Rave] College is my favorite 'get out of jail free' card
/u/sugarfreeicetea [5'7"|-50|18F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 10:30:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wmsnx/college_is_my_favorite_get_out_of_jail_free_card/
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All of my problems are intertwined.
I'm not even choosing to restrict really at this point, I don't know when I stopped, even my new clothes fit how they did.
I'm too busy, too poor, and too sick with the flu to feed myself properly. There's always a reason I don't end up eating.
In collage no one bats an eye when peoples weight changes, it makes it easier and almost socially acceptable to have an ed.
I wake up in the morning hungry because I forgot to eat dinner last night before I passed out, and looking in the mirror I can see a newly formed shadow under my collar bone, maybe I can just have a few glasses of cold water instead?
I see my therapist once a month, she never fails to mention my physical appearance, this makes me happy. She's never worried, and never ever suspects I have an ed, I don't know how this makes me feel.
If a far away relative or doctor ever questions me I give them the ol' "collage" and all is well
We normalize collage students having a lesser quality of life as the cost of education
Edit-Formating
[Discussion] My boyfriend got me a fitbit
/u/That_1bitch
Created: Sat Feb 10 10:27:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wmrt1/my_boyfriend_got_me_a_fitbit/
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So we did valentines gifts a little early and my boyfriend got me a fitbit. Poor guy doesn't realize this is probably only gonna fuel my ED even more lol. Anyone have any tips or tricks theyd be willing to share? Does it count your heart rate too or just steps? I do a lot of situps so if it can calculate the heart rate or calories from that i might happy cry
[Help] First time fainting.
/u/Daddy---Issues
Created: Sat Feb 10 10:01:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wmlmu/first_time_fainting/
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I have never fainted before. I have fasted for 3 days straight and gone to work with no issues. Yesterday I restricted to about 600 cals and woke up and went to work feeling normal. However, as I'm taking a customer's order my vision starts blurring in and out for about a minute then everything goes black for ten seconds and I have to grip the counter in an attempt to stable myself. Finally I hit the floor and bang my head on the counter behind me. All the customers and my coworkers freaked out and I am being sent home which is lame cause I need the money and felt fine several minutes after. It was just a really embarrassing experience that I would rather not repeat and was wondering if anyone had similar stories and/or advice to avoid such events.
[Rant/Rave] Caved
/u/BronArianwyn
Created: Sat Feb 10 09:42:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wmh9d/caved/
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I told my boyfriend that I had begun to relapse hard. A few months ago. I understand some people don't realize how their words can be damaging ESPECIALLY with this 0-100 brain we all tend to have regarding body comments.
I had been feeling okay, kind of proud of my body with all this restriction (only lost 10 pounds in three months fml tho) but i got my period and i am so bloated and ROUND SO ROUND all my progress is gone I want to die
he was touching my tummy and i was cutely trying to tell him "ahhaha no don't touch it really dont talk about it dont look at it DONT"
"But I love it!"
so then it all came out. told him my bulimia came back months ago, but now its just been a lot of no-eating and high anxiety and fear and working out. (especially after hes been casually like "maybe you should work out more")
and he then said "I really haven't noticed. I'm sorry baby, please eat, your'e so beautiful I really can't understand this but I want you to be eating."
and it was so sweet but my brain could only pick out
"I really haven't noticed."
Forget all the love and support and genuine care he has for me.
Now I gotta make sure my results are noticeable. I gotta loose more and more i GOTTA LOOK ACTUALLY SICK HERE I GO ON THE CRAZY TRAIN TOOT TOOT
FML.
[Rant/Rave] 100% not a compliment
/u/BadAsh3403
Created: Sat Feb 10 09:02:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wm8l3/100_not_a_compliment/
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FiancĆ©: āThose underwear are getting tight on you!ā
Me: āAre you calling me fat?ā
FiancĆ©: āI like it!ā
106 lbs/5ā 4ā/F
After a week of 2 hour cardio/day + restriction
Fuck
[Rant/Rave] Fuck You, Scale
/u/noVanGogh
Created: Sat Feb 10 08:59:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wm7qs/fuck_you_scale/
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Fuck you, scale.
I don't have time for this bullshit.
I'd rather use my energy listening well to my best friend in crisis than sit there listening to my stomach growl and feeling myself get colder and fainter and not even having the energy to hear her words, because all I can feel is my body collapsing.
Fuck you, scale, because I am a runner and I am a climber and I am not going to fall off any more walls because my arms were shaking and I am not going to give up halfway through a long run because I was running on fumes.
Fuck you, scale, because who the *fuck* said that "skinny" was the goal anyway and why the hell am I listening to them, what do they know about my life. Fuck you, scale, because thirteen year old me was scared and out of control and needed something to hold on to to get her life together but now I'm 30 and I don't need this bullshit.
Fuck you, random numbers and random body and my mother's judgmental eye and my ex's snarky comments and yes, even fuck you Low Weight because I don't want you in my head any more, trying to tell me that I was happier when I looked that thin. I thought I was happy but happy doesn't feel like that, Low Weight. Nope Nope Nope.
I have not weighed myself for 9 days, and today I looked in the mirror and felt like I was about to die - rolls, curls, flab, creeping up in a number that I haven't even checked but I know is marching up, up, up.
And I did NOT get on that scale, because FUCK you, scale, I have a life and friends and hope and I am not going to go down your fucking rabbit hole today.
"What do we say to the god of Death, Arya? Not. Today."
[Rant/Rave] ED's and Depression
/u/notworthausername [5'7" | 28F | 20.45 | CW: 131 // floatingspirit]
Created: Sat Feb 10 08:31:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wm1wq/eds_and_depression/
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It's been a wild ride. My stomach is cramping so fucking bad from all the pills I've taken to help make me shit.
I fast, I binge. I fast, I binge. After my 70 hour fast last weekend and coke comedown I couldn't deal with life so all I did was sit on my couch and eat food all week. Shitty food. I didn't purge until last night after I ordered wings and breadsticks. THEN I ate pancakes and syrup. It's like I knew I wanted to liquid fast this weekend so I needed to get my craving for maple syrup out of the way.
I've gained 10lbs in less than five days. The Vyvanse in my pantry are calling my name to take because they suppress my appetite but every time I take them I want to drink alcohol and I can't afford the calories or the mind-state they put me in.
**We do this to ourselves. We aren't victims. I choose to fucking do this to myself. It's a buffer from real problems. But I can't fucking help it, and I get mad at myself because of it. Because I don't want to change. Because I want to feel empowered by not eating instead of accomplishing other goals.**
I haven't lost anything but the same ten pounds over and over for over a year. I'm tired of it. I get so close to getting under 130lbs and I feel happy about my body so I binge then hate it again.
I've been sick with a cold for over a month, coke made it worse, I keep hacking shit up. I go out and drink and smoke cigarettes and make it worse. This is bullshit.
Black coffee with unsweetened almond milk, Powerade Zero's, Emergen-C's, Nuun Tablets, and 5 kcals per 8 ounces of Diet Cranberry and Diet Cran-Pomegranate juice for as long as I can fucking handle it. At least for 48 hours, I hope I can make it 72.
I miss control. Sorry for the vent. Just needed to hear someone going thru the same shit so I don't feel so fucking alone in my apartment feeling sorry for my fatass in my disgusting house, I can't even finish folding laundry it's half sorted on my floor. I want to sleep until everything is okay again, but until then I'll chug this black coffee until I can finally shit- why aren't these senna pills and stool softeners kicking in?
**It's my fucking fault I feel this way. I want to laugh. So why can't I fucking change it, why can't we ever fucking just say HEY I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY INSTEAD WE'RE FUCKING MASOCHISTS. FUCK IT. I FUCKING HATE THIS BULLSHIT. LET ME FUCKING DROWN, HAHA.**
[Discussion] Movie and show recommendation
/u/giraffle9 [62in | CW 117 |GW 95 | 23F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 08:30:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wm1m6/movie_and_show_recommendation/
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Hey guys...sorry to request this and lmk if I should take this down but after 5+ years of ED I feel like I've watched all the "pro-ed" shows and movies lol. Anyone have any recommendations?
I've seen for the love of nancy, keeping the secret? I think that's what it's called, and all those types of movies.
Things I've seen:
-To the bone
-THIN
-Skins episodes with Cassie
-Make it or Break it episodes where she develops an ED.
-my 600 lb life, supersize v superskinny, secret eaters, biggest loser, extreme makeover weightloss edition.
I've been watching ANTM lately (seasons 1-14 are on amazon prime!!).
I've seen that Khloe Kardashian weight loss show but it does nothing for me lol.
ETA: Anything that relates to ED issues in anyway or that you have related to is what I'm looking for. I said "pro-ed" as the general genre but definitely don't need anything that romanticizes EDs and didn't mean it in an offensive way.
[Rant/Rave] So this is the worst birthday ever
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 71 lbs | 13.4 | 9 lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Feb 10 07:37:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wlr9n/so_this_is_the_worst_birthday_ever/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo š
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 07:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wlmtg/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/ftrv0nvh8ef01.jpg
[Other] relatableļ»æ ED staple food review
/u/greenvoid3
Created: Sat Feb 10 07:05:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wlli7/relatable_ed_staple_food_review/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faCGrbzDGI0
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! February 10, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Feb 10 05:11:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wl3p4/stupid_questions_saturday_february_10_2018/
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This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for February 10, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 10, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Feb 10 05:10:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wl3ja/daily_food_diary_february_10_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 10, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Share your gross stories with me in solidarity. I present to you: The Stealthy Shart
/u/sierraivy
Created: Sat Feb 10 04:43:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wkztm/share_your_gross_stories_with_me_in_solidarity_i/
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Well. Iām at home studying for a HUGE exam, and I started to smell this whiff of poo. Iād binged earlier, and taken some laxatives + orlistat to try and make up for it. I checked my undies, but couldnāt see anything. I went to my toilet and cleaned it head to toe. Nope, the smell was still there.
I went back to my chair and checked it again - there was no stain, but the whole thing DEFINITELY smelled of poo. I pulled my undies and dark track pants off and gave them a good whiff, and nearly vommed.
Essentially Iād sharted myself but it was so fine/diffusely spread and all my clothes + chair were dark, so I didnāt see any stains.
So I freaked, tried to disassemble my IKEA chair and throw the cover in the wash, but it wouldnāt come off. I got out the scissors and cut that bitch off, but to my horror the base of the chair was foam, and there was a distinct yellow stain.
ANYWAY Iāve now chucked my whole chair in the bin, and Iāve re-learned my laxative lesson (surely once would be enough!!!): never trust a shart. Now Iām taking my SECOND shower in horror.
Tl;dnr- I took a bunch of laxatives + orlistat, sharted and didnāt realise. Sat in it and kept studying for a while. Threw everything in the bin.
[Other] Felt like I completely pigged out yesterday...
/u/peppermintschnapps55 [5'4" | -30 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 04:18:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wkwuo/felt_like_i_completely_pigged_out_yesterday/
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Logged it and I ate around ~1100 calories. A sandwich, a donut, fruit, chips, oatmeal... I felt like I was stuffing myself all day and expected to go way over my tdee and it was jarring to realize how little I'd actually eaten. That's a calorie intake that would get me lectured about being too low on most of the major weight loss subs on here.
I should feel relieved that I didn't go on some huge binge and wake up two pounds heavier, but I just feel really sad because idk how I'm ever going to get back to normal eating if *that's* my definition of a lot.
My heart is beating so fast I feel like I'm dying.
[Help] Does anyone have a pdf of overcoming binge eating by Chris Fairburn?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 111 | 20.3 | -24 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 04:07:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wkvc6/does_anyone_have_a_pdf_of_overcoming_binge_eating/
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~thanks in advance~
[Rant/Rave] Up a pound.
/u/ReversedHierophant
Created: Sat Feb 10 03:58:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wku8p/up_a_pound/
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How. I ate under my calorie goal by a good 300 calories a day on average which should have me drop two pounds. I didn't cheat even thought I wanted to do so badly. I fought off so many urges to binge this week.
And I GAINED a pound in two days how is that fucking possible!?
(Tmi warning) in fact I weighed less earlier this morning BEFORE I took a shit. How can i gain weight when physically loosing mass. That's just going against physics!
And to top it all off I'm on week fucking five of my period.
I hate this fat fucking useless body.
[Discussion] Things to do that don't involve food
/u/PM_M3_UR_SECRETS [163cm | CW 55kg | GW 50kg | HW 80kg]
Created: Sat Feb 10 03:26:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wkqey/things_to_do_that_dont_involve_food/
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Whenever I am meeting friends it seems like it's almost *impossible* to stick to my calorie limit because literally everything we do involves either food or alcohol. So I thought I'd try and start a list of things to do with friends where food is optional and not a central part of whatever you're doing. If you guys want to add to this list that'd be awesome, it's surprisingly hard to think of group activities that aren't all about stuffing your face.
-hiking
-going to the movies (popcorn optional)
-working out together
-going to the beach/pool
-doing some kind of charity work together
-shopping/thrifting
-swapping clothes you don't wear anymore/shopping each others closets
-going to a museum
-seeing a play at the theater
-driving around by bike/car and rediscovering the city
I will add more once I think of some other things! Love you guys.
[Discussion] First time fasting! Any tips much appreciated
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 10 02:54:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wkm0v/first_time_fasting_any_tips_much_appreciated/
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[deleted]
[Other] š peach
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 02:50:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wklkm/peach/
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I know this gets posted a ton but just got it under this username
chocolattts
Addddd meeee
[Discussion] DAE?
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 128 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 10 02:41:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wkkgm/dae/
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Yesterday I had 3 pieces of pizza, half a salad, and some berries and yogurt. I'm estimating it to be a little over 1,000. I finished the yogurt around 2pm and didn't eat the rest of the day.
I was not hungry at all the rest of the day and had so much energy and felt so good. It's the next morning and I'm still not hungry/still have high energy which surprised me.
Normally when I eat a big meal, it stretches my stomach and I get hungry ~5-6 hours later. But have you ever eaten a big meal and had it last you almost a whole 24 hours?
I am so confused but also not complaining.
[Other] Green tea extract can cause liver damage (Please be careful with diet pills).
/u/95CHOI [M20 / -230lbs / RNY Gone Haywire]
Created: Sat Feb 10 02:32:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wkjb3/green_tea_extract_can_cause_liver_damage_please/
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Piggybacking off the caffeine pill post made here earlier. It reminded me of something I had read about about diet pills I never knew despite being addicted to them for several years and wanted to let others know.
Some diet pills can have 700mg of catechins (the active compound in green tea). A cup of green tea has anywhere from 50mg to 150mg. Most diet pills recommend you take at least 2. I know Hydroxycut recommends 2 pills twice a day. Although itās a herbal supplement, taking too much can cause hepatotoxicity. There have been multiple cases of liver damage/organ failure from taking diet supplements containing green tea extract. Fasting increases the absorption of the catechins meaning more liver damage.
I still donāt know exactly what caused me to start having seizures. I do know that any time Iāve had seizures or auras is when I have taken Hydroxycut within the last two days beforehand, if not the day of. Usually also combined with intermittent fasting or water fasting.
I have written a least one post about the dangers of diet pills before and have managed to kick my dependence on them after my first few seizures. I have most likely done irreparable damage to my liver and other organs from my abuse of them and thatās why Iām now diagnosed epileptic.
Diet pills do not and never will work. You cannot take them for the rest of your life. Eventually you will have to stop taking them and learn how to eat while having an actual appetite. If you donāt take them, never start. Especially if you are trying to stop binging. Every time you donāt take them you will end up eating a lot because your ghrelin hormone will no longer be suppressed. You will have a constant gnawing hunger and end up binging and gaining. Then of course, you freak out because youāve gained and take the pills again so you can restrict easier and lose the weight you gained. One day you forget them and then... Rinse, repeat. Over and Over.
I get that the fast gratification feels amazing but theyāre poison and not worth the trouble or problems they can cause. Learning to control your hunger naturally is far more rewarding (and actually sustainable).
[Rant/Rave] Unwanted pregnancy really fucking with me !
/u/rawtruism [5'2 | cw: 100.5 lbs | gw: 88 lbs]
Created: Sat Feb 10 02:11:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wkgrf/unwanted_pregnancy_really_fucking_with_me/
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I'm getting an abortion (I have a doc. appointment on monday) but I am so tired !! all of the time !! And I'm nauseous and generally not too well. It's really like. testing me. I do not have patience for feeling like this, but at least now I know that I want to be skinny enough that I can't get pregnant at all. I can't wait for this to be over. ugh
[Rant/Rave] So excited!
/u/SinfulCinnamon
Created: Fri Feb 9 22:49:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wjp2v/so_excited/
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I've been hearing about the miso ginger broth from Trader Joe's and I added sliced mushrooms and chopped kale. Literally the best soup ever. The mushrooms give it a "meaty" texture for those of you who are into that. And the kale is extra volume and veggies. Thought you'd all maybe be interested in this food experiment I made ha
[Goal] Has anyone gone to treatment to cherry-pick tools to avoid binging but fully planned on keeping the ED mindset to pursue their goal body afterwards?
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Fri Feb 9 22:35:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wjmsf/has_anyone_gone_to_treatment_to_cherrypick_tools/
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Because i feel like i am in that postition.
I am craving exercise right now but i am not allowed to for the first month.
I honestly am all aboard for following their rules to "recover" because
1. I have been binging and restricting my whole life, and
2. It has left me fat an unattractive for 95% of it.
So i figured give treatment a try because i had the opportunity and i might as well learn to develope a healthy relationship with food to eat balanced, **but also** work towards my goal body a less disordered way.
Issue is that apparently my therapist here doesn't beieve i can actually be recovered if i still have the desire to improve myself. On the one hand, i get it: body goal obsession is disordered thinking. But in the other hand, i AM **medically obese**.
So like, wtf do i do. Stick it out now 100% and accept that the best i can ever look is the POS i am now like my therapist wants, or just do the bare minimum to get through treatment then risk wasting all my time and effort here by getting back into my desires of wanting a better body?
If someone could offer some insight that would be appreciated.
[Help] I'm falling apart
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 92.2 | BMI 16.3 | UGW 88 | HW 126 | 25F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 21:55:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wjfm8/im_falling_apart/
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Some of you may have read my previous posts about being called into my faculty advisor's office. She confronted me (gently) about the ED and is making me come in for another meeting with her and another faculty member (who I asked to be informed what's going on as she is in charge of my next academic year) this week. Not knowing what is going to be said is stressing me out, especially because I am not planning on seeking out treatment soon and I know she's going to give me a disappointed/judgey face (though she's very nice).
On top of school stress, new fun symptom: my hair is falling out! Despite the fact that I've been having cardiac symptoms, this is the first symptom I really care about and it's making me so stressed.
I've also been averaging 1100 calories the past month. 1/11 I was 93.4. 2/1 I was 92.2. Ever since, I have not seen 92 again. Now I'm floating 93-95. WTH! Is it possible my BMR is just way lower than I thought and I've actually GAINED averaging 1100? I'm on my period right now so I hope that's all it is, but I've never noticed a weight fluctuation around my period before.
Guys I have no idea what I'm doing. I know I should seek treatment, but I'm not willing to gain right now. And I don't think I can deal with all the emotional bullshit in my life in therapy either right now. I think trying would send me over the edge and I would start failing out of my program. It just feels like there's no way out right now so I just keep ignoring the problem and my faculty advisor is making it hard to do so (I know she's trying to help and I appreciate it but I just don't even know what to say to her).
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] My sister is trying to lose weight too and the urge to sabotage her is real...I hate myself for wanting her to fail
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW:š| GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 21:24:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wja9f/rantrave_my_sister_is_trying_to_lose_weight_too/
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My sis is 5ā5ā-5ā6ā and is around 125-128lbs. Completely healthy and she carries it *really* well. Iām still 20lbs from a healthy BMI. Itās killing me watching her lose more weight than me even though sheās eating more and worse than me. She flaunts it in my face *āIāve already lost 2lbs!!!!!!!ā* when itās taken me 5 months to lose 17lbs.
Her calorie app recommends 1700 a day and she doesnāt eat more than 1500 plus she doesnāt eat back her exercise calories, so her deficit is huge. Meanwhile I eat 850 a day and am barely losing a pound a week, sometimes none cuz water retention.
Iām so fucking jealous it hurts and is causing me to resent her. I hate myself for this, but I think so much about ways I could sabotage her weight loss. I feel horrible but I just canāt stand the thought of her getting even skinnier than me. I just feel like such a fat gross mean cow.
[Other] Going vegan for all the wrong reasons.
/u/skydiver89 [5'4" CW 134 GW 125 UGW 115]
Created: Fri Feb 9 20:51:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wj477/going_vegan_for_all_the_wrong_reasons/
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Mostly so I can reject a bunch of food people offer me.
Though I did cut a lot of dairy out of my diet, I noticed during my last period, I had no cramps at all! But still..now I feel like I'll have more of a reason to reject food and no one can see my eating because that makes me paranoid.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like a horrible person.
/u/pickles023
Created: Fri Feb 9 20:50:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wj45f/i_feel_like_a_horrible_person/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Everything about this is A Waste
/u/booberryapocalypse [5'6 | CW 142.2 | UGW 114 |SW 157 | ]
Created: Fri Feb 9 20:40:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wj271/everything_about_this_is_a_waste/
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I binged last night (3600 daily calories total) and fasted all of today to make up for it. Then I went and binged on another 3000 calories an hour ago. I ate yogurt covered raisins until the sugar made me sick and pukey.
So I went to the bathroom on autopilot, ready to purge for the first time in a year. I got the toothbrush down my throat and coughed up the very start of the binge, then stopped and looked in the mirror.
My face was so red and my throat already hurt from coughing up nothing, I was repulsed and put the toothbrush back. Suddenly all I could think about was the most difficult purge Iāve ever had- popcorn dipped in spicy tzaziki spread. That shit got clogged in my nostrils, my eyes, everything hurt. I canāt do it, I canāt purge.
So what do I do now? Fast then binge again? I hate myself. I hate everything. The more I think about it, the more I should just actually kill myself. I have to see my mother in a week, which I know is what triggered all of this. I feel my spirit and heart wilting. Thereās so little joy and love and creativity left in me, my eating disorder hollowed it out until all thatās left is a shell.
I canāt believe Iāve spent 10 years doing this. Iāve spent over half my life doing this. This is the rest of my life. I feel so hopeless. Itās never ending. Iām stuck. I will never be able to succeed because of my eating disorder. Iāve spoiled the rest of my life doing this to myself.
All Iāve ever been is fat or tired or overfull or starving or manic on sugar or drinking aspartame or avoiding my friends or bitter or anger or sad. And I canāt ask for help. I canāt do that to my friends. I really really just want to disappear right now. I want an island to die on.
And this is so selfish! Me, writing words like I get to have a voice. This is ridiculous. Why am I posting this? God, I need attention. I donāt even care. I need the attention wow holy shit everyone PAY FUCKING ATTENTION TO ME!! IM A FUCKING BABY AND I NEED ATTENTION AND LOVE!! HOW SAD!!!! CARE ABOUT MY PROBLEMS PLEASE WAA WAA WAA WAA I NEED SOMEONE!!! oh my god oh my god oh my god. Yeah, watch me reread everything I wrote and post it anyways like a fucking crybaby bitch ass mother fucker that can go fuck herself every time a kid in Africa starves to death. I need to go fuck myself.
How can I bounce back from this place? Do I even get to? I donāt think so. I think I will burn in Hell. God, fuck me.
[Rant/Rave] Just need to rant
/u/Bitsybirdleggos [5'3 |CW 174.6| 30.3 | F/NB]
Created: Fri Feb 9 20:40:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wj24f/just_need_to_rant/
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(Please tag as rant/rave)
So I recently broke a plateau where I hit 174 after cycling between the same four pounds every week. I was feeling proud about it, I posted to my Snapchat excited about breaking it. My boyfriend went to a concert last night with his sister and I guess she saw it and was like 'well you can just piss that out' which is so fuckin funny considering she's still over 250 lbs and only came down from about 300 thanks to a med that her doc prescribed /SPECIFICALLY/ to make her lose weight, but she's telling everyone its just 'a good diet and exercise' which is bullshit because when she asked me to calculate her a deficit I told her she could still eat about 1500 kcal a day and still get to 200 by September (when we go on a cruise) and she scoffed and said 'well that's definitely not enough for me' and I'm so fucking angry right now
[Tip] PSA: be careful with caffeine pills
/u/AyRayKay
Created: Fri Feb 9 20:10:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wiwk2/psa_be_careful_with_caffeine_pills/
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Iām a dumbass who never really drinks coffee or has caffeine and have had a hell of an appetite lately, so I took two 200 mg caffeine pills over the course of two meals so I wouldnāt have to eat....
Yeah fifteen minutes after I took the second one I had to run to the bathroom and starting puking and shaking and crying hysterically. Which is where I am now. Yikes. Girls in my dorm keep walking in and I keep having to warn them they will hear me puke.
I have a fear of purging but apparently thatās what Iām doing now. Always be careful how much you take, I had no idea (and still donāt really know) how much a coffee is equivalent to a pill and I think it ended up being like 10 UGH guys Iām dying right now idk if this is even worth not being hungry
Also my bf had to call poison control to make sure I didnāt āoverdoseā. So yeah donāt take too much my friends
This post makes literally no sense at all but I am not in sound mind lol
Edit: ITS 2:30 AM IT HAS BEEN 6 1/2 HOURS WHY GOD WHY I HAVE AN 8 AM TEST TOMORROW
Edit: it is 4:10 am. I can read minds and see in the dark. Sleep is a foreign concept, as is passing my Spanish test in 6 hours, which is the whole damn reason I took the second pill so I could study late. Now Iām just hunched over in pain. Kill me.
5:12 am. I am now floating in midair. I understand every language. Considering taking another pill because now I actually have to be awake for this test. Rip
[Thinspo] Some hipster ass thinspo for you!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 9 19:27:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wintf/some_hipster_ass_thinspo_for_you/
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https://www.google.com/search?q=alpine+hands+music+video&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS748US748&oq=alpine+hands&aqs=chrome.0.69i59j69i57j0l4.5865j1j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
[Rant/Rave] I couldnāt binge.
/u/shapay199
Created: Fri Feb 9 19:03:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wiisv/i_couldnt_binge/
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Yesterday (3h ago), was my birthday. I put a lot of effort into making amazing cheese platters and fruit tarts, and having fancy wine, it was perfect, it was instagram and pinterest level beautiful. And when my dear friends went home after having a great time with them, I knew I would clearly binge on the leftovers alone and not stop until almost everything was gone. So I sat down with my pasta salad, and had a serving, and was like, eh thatās enough āI DONT FEEL LIKE EATING MORE OF ITā. So I went for naturally, out of habit, sugar in the form of macarons, took a bite, and couldnāt handle the sweetness while being so full. I donāt even know when I last felt like that. Satisfied. Iām so happy I could cry. Iām not healed or anything, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe I donāt have to be a weirdo for all my life.
[Discussion] Is 800 calories too much?
/u/motivatedcactus [5'3" | CW 114.5 | BMI 20.84 | UGW skinny | 18F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 18:44:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wiezf/is_800_calories_too_much/
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[removed]
[Goal] Rules for the next 4 weeks
/u/LacyGracie
Created: Fri Feb 9 18:32:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wic98/rules_for_the_next_4_weeks/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is it weird to just binge on liquids?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 9 18:01:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wi5m4/is_it_weird_to_just_binge_on_liquids/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i feel like iām gonna explode
/u/nxlx
Created: Fri Feb 9 17:33:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7whzkb/i_feel_like_im_gonna_explode/
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after fasting for 5 days, i broke it very easy this morning with a very small helping of chicken tetrazini and ~150 calories of unsalted almonds throughout the day
buuut tonight i was out with my step-mom, dad, and little sister and they wanted chipotle for dinner. i thought āokay iām for sure under 500 cals for the day, eating my normal at chipotle wont kill meā..... WRONG. I ordered my normal burrito and got some lemonade because my blood sugar felt super low and even though I filled up on only like half of my burrito (maybe even less) i kept eating. before my fasts, i could probably eat 2 burritos easy.
now iām sitting at the table while my family finishes their meals and iām DYING. thatās like 2000 calories for the entire day (still below my tdee but also way way way too much) and i feel miserable because iām so full. i also canāt purge because my step-mom knows about my past struggle with ed (not that iāve relapsed tho) and iām super self-conscious around my little sister because i donāt want her to see me like this
any words of encouragement to make me feel like iām not as much of of a complete disgusting slob as i think i am?? i literally feel like iām going to die i want to die why did i do this
[Rant/Rave] I s2g my dad is trying to kill me
/u/IiIbeansprout
Created: Fri Feb 9 17:33:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7whzgv/i_s2g_my_dad_is_trying_to_kill_me/
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[removed]
McDonalds and vodka
/u/smokski
Created: Fri Feb 9 17:24:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7whxe6/mcdonalds_and_vodka/
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[removed]
[Other] C&s
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Fri Feb 9 17:23:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7whx5y/cs/
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I've recently adopted this habit along with all my others and I feel really paranoid. I wash my mouth out and everything, but that damn food that gets stuck in my molars makes me so paranoid. I wonder how many calories it really is when it comes to being a cookie/bread/etc. I just count it all as 50 if I just c&s twice and maybe 100. I hope that is absolutely overshooting and ridiculous but with my luck it wouldn't be and it's be like 5000 instead. Fucking hate it. Better off not touching it at all, but I'd rather not binge either!!! It's a double edge sword I guess. Most ED things are.
[Other] Messed it up with McDonalds and vodka š
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 9 17:21:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7whwtn/messed_it_up_with_mcdonalds_and_vodka/
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https://i.redd.it/je1dbir84af01.jpg
[Help] most appetite surpressing drink at starbucks?
/u/thelocalhoe
Created: Fri Feb 9 17:08:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7whts1/most_appetite_surpressing_drink_at_starbucks/
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i usually go for a triple shot on ice but iām curious about other recommendations
[Other] Ugh I just need to type this out so I feel less alone and less ashamed. Binged. "When my foot hit the pedal".
/u/2fckk
Created: Fri Feb 9 16:49:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7whpia/ugh_i_just_need_to_type_this_out_so_i_feel_less/
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So it's a Friday night. I declined hanging out with my boyfriend because I don't feel well. So I'm alone tonight. I had just gotten off work. There's a taco bell around the corner from my client's house. I told myself, "Ew, wtf, I'm not gonna do it." The idea of taco bell makes my stomach turn. So I decided not to do it. But when my foot hit the pedal, I ended up in Taco Bells drive thru. In front of me was an overweight mom in her minivan with her kids in the back watching Mickey Mouse on the car TV. Idk, just depressing. She looked irritated and she was getting taco bell for dinner. Just, idk.
So I decided to leave the drive thru line. I noticed that I had enough room to pull away and exit the parking lot. But when my foot hit the pedal, I found myself ordering a number 11 with a side of cinnabon delights. I thought to myself, "Your stomach hurts, you have food waiting at home, you're actively turned off by taco bell, and the mom in front of you is depressing."
So I decided to leave the drive thru line. I had already ordered but I didn't pay yet. So I figured they'd put my unclaimed order aside when I never showed up at the window and it would be like it never happened. But when my foot hit the pedal, I found myself handing the girl my money in exchange for my steaming hot, disgusting brown bag of number 11 & cinnabons.
The mom in front of me had pulled into a parking spot and sent her disgruntled SO inside. I guess their order got messed up. I thought to myself, "Maybe I'll pull over too. I'll just toss this in the trash, uneaten, and it'll be like it never happened."
But when my foot hit the pedal, I found myself driving home while shoving the food in my mouth. The taco bits spilled all over my jacket, tumbling onto the seat, underneath my pants, and down my shirts and sleeves. I almost tailgated the person in front of me and came to a screeching halt. I put the taco down and said, "For fuck sake, at least save the food until you get home."
But when my foot hit the pedal, I grabbed a new taco and downed it. I grabbed the third and downed it. I stopped trying to brush the taco bits off. They were in my hair, on my jacket, on the seat, tumbling to the floor. Cheese stuck to cheeks, lettuce hanging from my lips.
I felt passerbys staring at me, pitying me. When in reality no one noticed. I prayed for red lights and stop signs so I could gulp down more bites.
It's all gone, all inside me. I barely tasted it, barely enjoyed it. It was $8.03 and a ton of stress.
I'm so embarrassed, so defeated.
I want to "cleanse" starting tomorrow and lasting forever. But I'm trying to recover. So cleansing would probably be disordered. So for now I'll get high and pity myself.
Thanks for listening.
[Other] Obligatory āI got peachā post
/u/alexis-ruth
Created: Fri Feb 9 16:43:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7who8j/obligatory_i_got_peach_post/
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Yaāll know whatās up.
@tiny __ dancer (I had to make a new account because I actually had peach when it was first released but just in case any of my friends still check it I donāt want them to see my new activity) (thatās ātiny [2 underscores] dancerā)
Drop your names in the comments!!
[Help] eating at restaurants
/u/thelocalhoe
Created: Fri Feb 9 16:30:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7whl1q/eating_at_restaurants/
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so my situation is kind of complicated, but basically im spending the next 4-5 weeks with a friend who insists on going out for dinner EVERY. NIGHT.
do you guys have any ideas for some super safe foods that i can order at most restaurants? the only thing iāve come up with is a plate of lettuce lol
The one part of my body that I like, my curvy butt, as I continue to lose weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 9 15:20:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wh4fc/the_one_part_of_my_body_that_i_like_my_curvy_butt/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] If You Date Me..
/u/EveRoarke [5'1 | 43 kg |BMI 17.92 | -10 kg | 25F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 15:06:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wh19c/if_you_date_me/
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I won't even ask you if I look fat. I already know the answer. (The answer is "Yes".)
Expect to get more than half of my food when we're eating out.
Diet soda. So much diet soda.
Don't cook for me. It'll make me anxious and leave you disappointed.
Don't talk to me when I'm binging. Just hug me. It would be more than enough.
Most days, I will feel that I don't deserve you.
[Rant/Rave] DAE get angry when you hear people judging someone's eating habits?
/u/dwyerdunce [5'3" | CW: 95 | BMI: 16.9 | GW: ? | 19F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 14:53:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wgy0q/dae_get_angry_when_you_hear_people_judging/
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I decided to have lunch with a friend of mine, her boyfriend and his two friends at my university's food court. My friend decided to get some food from this one place and she ate like half of it, didn't like it and went to get food from a different place. Then her boyfriend's friends starting talking about how she's eating way too much food and started making comments like "why do you always get so much food". Not only did they mention this once throughout the time we were there but twice. The second time they did it my friend just got up and said she was going to leave and I followed her out. I tried my best to tell her that it was just guys being dumb. I still can't believe how stupid some guys can be. I always get scared when people say things like this because I know exactly what it feels like to be on the receiving end and I still have to deal with the consequences of those comments today. I'm not going to lie and say I never judge people for how much they eat but there's a difference between thinking something and saying it out loud and it perplexes me how some people just don't know that.
[Rant/Rave] Why Do I Keep Doing This
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Fri Feb 9 14:51:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wgxdz/why_do_i_keep_doing_this/
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Just had 2 binge sessions. Really crappy food as well. I didn't purge because I cant afford the dentist and people on my floor were getting suspicious already. I'm in so much pain right now, lying on the nasty bathroom floor because I dont want to risk puking all over the roomate. This is it, guys. No more binges. No more purging. I dont want to be like this. I am not doing that shit anymore. I gain enough weight from this. It's time to lose it. On restriction mode from now on.
~Stay safe everyone~
[Rant/Rave] I never want to online shop again
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 14:45:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wgw08/i_never_want_to_online_shop_again/
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I needed some things for a trip coming up and so I placed an order from ASOS. It arrived and everything was poorly made and too small, and it managed to trigger my ED so badly because it just highlighted all the parts of me I'm trying so hard to get rid of. So now I'm sat at my kitchen table after having cancelled everything I was supposed to do today, crying and binge eating cereal while in my workout clothes, trying to get up the energy to actually go to the gym.
Eating disorders are hard.
[Help] Staying at a friends on Sunday and sheās planning on feeding me so much
/u/ImNotaTreeImaShrub [5'5" CW:190lbs (-5) LW 115lbs | GW 130 lbs | UGW 115lbs | 32F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 14:43:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wgvly/staying_at_a_friends_on_sunday_and_shes_planning/
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So Iāve been restricting to about 750cals a day but on Sunday Iām staying at a friends for the day/night, and weāre going out for the day on Monday and thereās a possibility I may stay Monday night as well. So sheās planned for us to have vegan sausage sandwiches for Sunday lunch, a vegetarian version of kedgeree (a curried rice dish usually with fish, but this will have lots of veggies, and soft boiled eggs) for Sunday dinner, granola for Monday breakfast, and if I stay on Monday night, she wants to order Indian food. The place weāre going to on Monday doesnāt cater for a vegan diet (I eat vegan apart from the occasional organic egg) so I said Iāll bring some snacks.
I canāt even begin to calculate how many calories this is. Iām so scared that itās way too many, and that on Tuesday afterwards I wonāt be able to restrict again and I wonāt be able to stop eating. Any advice is greatly appreciated. I canāt tell her that Iām restricting as she knows Iāve had EDs in the past, has issues with food herself and will tell me off if she thinks Iām not eating.
[Rant/Rave] got called fat last night
/u/grape_fruits [slightly over 5'3" | 98.6 lbs | 19F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 14:28:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wgry2/got_called_fat_last_night/
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I had a great time getting dinner w my closest guy friends and we agreed that I'd meet one at a popular study/hangout location after I finished a meeting. This girl was there and she's in my friend group but I have past shitty experiences with her where she she'd make fun of me in front of me and pass it off as a joke. Yesterday, she was eating cheese chex mix and she offered me some and when I accepted, she said "grape_fruits, this is why we're fat." I just laughed uncomfortably and later when I was in my friend's room, he brought it up and said that he had noticed it too. what the actual fuck BITCH
[Help] My little sister is trying to be healthier but I'm afraid it might turn into something more
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | "recovering" | š: cinnamonbicycle]
Created: Fri Feb 9 13:46:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wgh48/my_little_sister_is_trying_to_be_healthier_but_im/
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She's 14 and I love her more than anything. She's a competitive swimmer and is at a healthy weight, probably on the higher end, but it's the usual swimmer body.
Recently she's been trying to make healthier choices. I'm all for that, but I'm terrified it's going to spiral into an eating disorder. She chose a reduced calorie mac-and-cheese instead of a regular one today, she grabbed some maple syrup and then put it back because we "don't need it", and she told me how much she wished she could have chocolate but couldn't because it isn't healthy. On the other hand, half of her lunch was a grilled cheese sandwich (the other half was a Caesar salad) and she insisted on buying some crepes (definitely not healthy) as well. So at this point it seems fairly innocent.
She knows about my eating disorder (that I HAD one; no one knows about this relapse and they all think I'm recovered now) and I'm just terrified beyond words that her new healthy intentions could spiral out of control. I don't know what to do. Is there any way to ensure (haha funny joke amiright) that an eating disorder won't develop right from the get-go?
Please, any advice or help would be really appreciated.
[Other] /r/ShittyGifRecipes
/u/fatterfly [5'4" | 150 lolfml | 25.6 | -6 | 24F | RELAPSE HELLO!]
Created: Fri Feb 9 13:24:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wgber/rshittygifrecipes/
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You're welcome.
P.S. I would gladly eat 99% of those things^I'msofuckinggrosslol
[Other] fast results are in!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 9 13:10:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wg7ze/fast_results_are_in/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wg7ze/fast_results_are_in/
[Discussion] "It's easier to not eat at all than to eat for one hour a day" -Walt Whitman
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Fri Feb 9 12:53:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wg37a/its_easier_to_not_eat_at_all_than_to_eat_for_one/
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[removed]
I started to eat less again and have lost like 10 pounds in a week im just wondering at what point will i see that number slow down
/u/selfharmaccount123
Created: Fri Feb 9 12:50:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wg2lw/i_started_to_eat_less_again_and_have_lost_like_10/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] SON OF A BITCH
/u/VesselOfLucifier [4'10| CW: fat |UGW: 72lbs | 20F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 12:38:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wfzhg/son_of_a_bitch/
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A little background: I've always wanted a thigh gap, so I've been measuring myself as well as weighing myself. And I've noticed that my thighs are getting BIGGER by a 1/2 inch every week. And obviously that freaked me out. I've been doing walking on the treadmill for 2 1/2 hours on the incline of 12%.
I was looking up different ways to get a thigh gap, and walking came up. I already knew walking helped to get skinny legs (I previously looked it up). But then it mentions that *walking on an incline bulks up your legs*.
It sucks because an incline burns more calories, but I want small legs. UGH. Feelsbadman.
[Rant/Rave] I'm scared of health and I resent progress
/u/Ripley-8
Created: Fri Feb 9 12:16:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wftyt/im_scared_of_health_and_i_resent_progress/
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I miss the hot mess I was in high school, I miss getting to such a low weight that I was basically the thinnest in the room no matter what.
I mean, I'm married to an awesome guy now, I love him and I'm happy with him, but I've been unable to restrict because I feel bad when he worries about me. I also feel bad when I eat food. I hate myself probably more than I ever have. And it's because someone cares about me and doesn't want me to starve myself. I hate that it's like this. I hate that my brain can't let me be happy. I constantly think about just telling him to fuck off when it comes to food, but I don't want to hurt him. I wish I was fucking dead guys. I wish I had never tried to be happy.
What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to get through this, on either end? I don't want to recover, I don't want to be healthy, and when he says I've been doing well and eating I feel a huge sense of shame and disgust. Fml.
[Rant/Rave] I don't have an eating disorder! š
/u/sjanebrock
Created: Fri Feb 9 12:04:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wfqsm/i_dont_have_an_eating_disorder/
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I don't have an eating disorder, I eat too often.
But I can't shop in the women's clothing section anymore. Only kids clothes fit.
I don't have an eating disorder, my thighs touch when I twist my hips a certain way.
But I can't go past a reflective surface without body checking.
I don't have an eating disorder, I'm not skinny.
But I'm 'underweight' according to my BMI. Bullshit, I'm covered in FAT.
I don't have an eating disorder, I sometimes eat too much.
But my definition of overeating is an extra 1/2 cup of oatmeal.
I don't have an eating disorder, I never work out.
But the miles I run and the sit ups I do don't count.
I don't have as eating disorder, my stomach isn't flat.
But even my ribs and hip bones look like protruding extra fat.
I don't have an eating disorder. I can't even fast for more than 4 days.
But I do lose my vision and balance every time I stand up.
I don't have an eating disorder.
But I am a disgusting lazy piece of shit who will never find love because I have no self control.
5"5. 107 lb. 18 years old.
[Help] My scale finally broke down today. Any recommendations for new ones?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 9 11:45:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wflrz/my_scale_finally_broke_down_today_any/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I hate when people lie to me (depressing rant ahead)
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Fri Feb 9 11:42:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wfkz2/i_hate_when_people_lie_to_me_depressing_rant_ahead/
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Iāve gained weight. Itās not just a perception; itās a fact. I gained weight because Iām a gross failure.
And people keep lying to me.
Today, my husband came to visit me at work. He brought me one of those protein cookie things. I said no thank you. One of the teachers I work with overheard me and starts carrying on about how I donāt eat and sheās so worried and Iām so skinny and blah blah blah.
Then, there was a birthday party. I ate 6 chips and 3 Hersheyās kisses, which I hated myself enough for. 2 other teachers commented on how theyāve never seen me eat, and that they were concerned, etc.
In the past, comments like this made me so happy. They meant my weight loss was noticeable, and that I was noticeable.
Now theyāre just lying.
I hate lying.
I wish I hadnāt eaten that chocolate.
I wish I were 30 pounds lighter.
I wish I didnāt exist.
Iām starting a fast on Sunday, even though I always binge after. But what can I say, Iām a glutton for punishment. But if anyone knows how NOT to binge after a fast, lmk thanks.
[Discussion] What small ED symptoms might normal eaters notice and be suspicious of?
/u/zorbiz [5' 8" | 18.5 | 22F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 10:45:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wf5qh/what_small_ed_symptoms_might_normal_eaters_notice/
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I eat the same, small, bland, and unusual lunch every day with my coworkers, and normally nothing else during the day. I always drink 3-4 different beverages at a time. We talk about what I/we eat for lunch, and they kind of make fun of me for it in a lighthearted way.
Are these things they probably notice as signs of an eating disorder?
Obviously they'd notice if you smelled like vomit after every meal, but are other little ED quirks people are aware of?
(Please give me a suggestion of a term to use instead of "normal eater" if you have one...)
[Other] Itās so cyclical I even have a folder for it on my phone :(
/u/wholedwarf [5'5.5" | CW 133 | GW 118 | HW: 155 | F26]
Created: Fri Feb 9 10:37:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wf3bo/its_so_cyclical_i_even_have_a_folder_for_it_on_my/
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https://imgur.com/a/uK549
[Goal] Could not be happier!
/u/Deviiation [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 24.39 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Fri Feb 9 10:29:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wf1c9/could_not_be_happier/
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Most of the time, I hate my genetic problems. Two fairly serious gene malformations, resulting in lots of strain on my bones, lungs, brain tissue, and heart. But sometimes I really don't mind at all. I'm a 21-year-old girl with the approximate bone structure of a 16-year-old boy. I'm very awkward-looking, and I'm always afraid to go out to parties or clubs in a skirt or dress as nearly every time I get, "oi, tranny", etc. Lucky for me that androgyny's all the rage at the minute, eh? Also lucky for me that I only need to lose a couple of pounds for my waist to drop an inch out of nowhere.
When I got up today and tried on the size UK 12 (US 8) trousers I'd bought last night, I found they were stupidly big. I liked them enough to try and wear them with a belt, but it was no use. The belt just made them crumple up and it looked awful. I had to wear my shirt over my belt, which I never do. Otherwise it would've just been, er, unseemly.
So I went down to the charity shop and picked up some size UK 8 and 10 trousers. Headed back, tried them on. The 10s were a bit big, the 8s were a little big, but my favourite out of the lot, which had been labelled a UK 8 in the shop, fit perfectly. I was happy enough with that. I took them off for a pyjama afternoon and was folding them into the drawer when I saw they were, in fact, **a fucking UK 4.** That's an American 0! (Of course, now I'm wearing them again!)
Sure, I'm still stuck at the high end of "a healthy BMI", and I still don't have a thigh gap, and I'm embarrassed to actually measure my waist and see what exactly a high street UK 4 is (probably a real 10 or something...), but am I happy for now? Yes! And after yesterday and today being proper screw-ups, too.
[Rant/Rave] It's the little things
/u/birdsbirdsbirds339 [24F| 160cm | gw: 145|]
Created: Fri Feb 9 10:09:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wew19/its_the_little_things/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Stupid things that are so upsetting
/u/AnnahxD [5'9"/F/20]
Created: Fri Feb 9 09:43:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7weop0/stupid_things_that_are_so_upsetting/
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So last night we're in the process of moving and I pull out an old bikini.. being stupid me I tried it on and looked at myself in the mirror and seriously wanted to die. My stretchmarks stood out, I'm super pudgy, and overall it was just so awful. I was almost to the point where I was okay with my weight but now I know I still need to lose about 24lbs. I honestly feel so stupid and childish over this because I'm having a little breakdown. My husband tried to reassure me but it was awful. Stretch marks, cellulite, pudge the whole shebang and I feel like I'm right back in that same old spiral.
[Rant/Rave] Relapse, here I come! TW: self harm.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 9 09:17:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wehzf/relapse_here_i_come_tw_self_harm/
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[deleted]
[Help] Maintaining
/u/kein-08-15 [5'8/172 cm | CW144 lbs/65 kg | BMI 22.1]
Created: Fri Feb 9 08:28:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7we5qe/maintaining/
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So due to exams coming up Iāve now decided to try to maintain weight instead of losing. It will be incredibly hard for me because I have only been gaining or losing weight within the last year and now I am incredibly scared of gaining again. My TDEE is about 1700 kcal but I excluded the running I do every day so it should technically a bit higher nevertheless Iām not gonna eat more than 1600 kcal a day. Has anyone of you guys got some tips on how to maintain or what to take care of? Thanks in advance ā¤ļø
[Help] I feel like Iāve hit a dead-end and I really need advice
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 9 07:57:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wdy3h/i_feel_like_ive_hit_a_deadend_and_i_really_need/
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[deleted]
[Help] I really do want to recover
/u/Just-That-Other-Guy [5'11" | CW: 146 lbs | BMI: 20.4 | SW: 230 lbs | -84 lbs]
Created: Fri Feb 9 07:36:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wdte0/i_really_do_want_to_recover/
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I'm so sick of this disorder. I don't mind the calorie counting or the fear foods and safe foods or how much I weigh. It's the obsession I hate. How I can't eat out anywhere because how will I know how many calories are *really* in that dish if I can't weigh it and if I don't know all of the ingredients in it? Or worse, what if I don't like it and I wasted money and calories on it?
I hate how much thought I have to put into eating. I can't ever sit down and enjoy a proper meal. It's all overanalyzing and work just to have something to eat. And the anxiety I get every time just puts me so on edge. It's all the mental stuff I hate. I can deal with having certain foods that scare me to eat. That's not so bad. That I can work around. But eating used to be my favorite thing to do. I love food so much. But this disorder has taken that joy from me.
I loved my body once at 160 lbs. And now I'm 146 lbs and have way more muscle so there is less fat in every aspect but yet I still feel like a whale. I hate my body so much. I'm so tired of the self loathing. It doesn't help that I have loose skin so I can never tell on my body what is fat and what is the loose skin. I hate this.
I'm tired of starving all the time. Of passing out and blaming it on something else. I'm tired of the toll I know it's taking on me. And I know it's shortening my lifespan. I'm tired of not caring. I'm tired of wishing it would kill me.
I'm currently unemployed so I don't have the means to seek professional help. Has anyone managed to beat this (or at least make it more manageable) on their own? Are there any tips you could give me?
[Help] Water retention when sick??
/u/YukiHase [5'9'' | 105.8 | 15.6 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 07:03:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wdlxn/water_retention_when_sick/
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So I've had an upper respiratory infection for about a week and I've been retaining like 5-6 lbs in water weight. I know it's impossible that I've gained any fat at the amount I'm eating, but it's still driving me insane!!! I've been feeling all bloated and gross... Especially in my head, stomach, and legs. I guess I have to just wait until I'm better for it to hopefully go down but I can't help being paranoid ://
[Rant/Rave] Poor guy wanted to bring me lunch at work, and I was impossible
/u/jeanisdead [5'2.5" | 98lbs]
Created: Fri Feb 9 07:01:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wdlj7/poor_guy_wanted_to_bring_me_lunch_at_work_and_i/
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Yesterday at work I had a young, sweet customer. Cute 20 year old kid that has no business at a strip club on a Thursday afternoon. He spent quite a bit of time and money on me and I gave him my number because I'm an idiot who can't say no. He left and told me he was getting food for me.
Cue me being a total cunt about it. "Noooooooo I never eat at work, I eat a strict keto diet so I can't have a lot of foods, I'm fine, plz no"
He comes back with a salad, an apple, and water from Panera and I acted like it was a death sentence. The manager comes back to the dressing room and tells me a young man is here for me with food, and I was like fuck fuck fuck fuck. One of my coworkers said "are you really mad cuz he got you food? Don't be mean"
After that, I felt so fucking dumb. The other girls eat pizza, sandwiches, fast food, all kinds of junk and proceed to get naked for strangers afterwards. How they do it, I will never fucking know.
I ate the damn salad, it was sweet of him, but I'm embarrassed of how my stupid eating disorder caused me to act about something that was supposed to be a nice gesture.
In other news, my super tiny, super sexy new man probably isn't going to be able to come over this weekend because of the snow. I predict I will either starve or b/p. I can't keep food in my apartment anymore, and I know I'm probably not going to eat today until very late at night and then regret it.
Just another day behind bars y'all. I feel way too old for literally all of this shit.
Just spent the past hour scolding myself out in the mirror
/u/StormyTUNDRAwolf
Created: Fri Feb 9 06:57:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wdkru/just_spent_the_past_hour_scolding_myself_out_in/
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[removed]
[Discussion] February 9th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 06:34:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wdg9r/february_9th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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How late did you sleep today?
In other news Iām up 7 lb in a week which I know is physically impossible given the amount Iāve eaten but still š
[Help] Severe anxiety
/u/fatterfly [5'4" | 150 lolfml | 25.6 | -6 | 24F | RELAPSE HELLO!]
Created: Fri Feb 9 06:21:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wddy0/severe_anxiety/
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This is non ED related but I don't know who else to talk to. I'm having a really bad morning and my anxiety is through the roof right now. It's not because of anything specific, it's just a bunch of small little things piling up and now I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed. I feel like there is a rock on my chest and I have this sinking feeling in my stomach that just won't go away. I can't breathe and time is going by real slow and I feel so trapped.
I need to find a way to relax and I don't know what to do. There is nobody I feel comfortable talking to about this. Please if there is any way you can help I would appreciate it so much, any advice would be really helpful.
[Rant/Rave] Happy 3rd surgiversary to me. š
/u/95CHOI [M20 / -230lbs / RNY Gone Haywire]
Created: Fri Feb 9 06:15:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wdcq3/happy_3rd_surgiversary_to_me/
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Iāve lost over 110kg since having RNY and I still hate myself. Everyone says I look good and that itās amazing Iāve lost so much weight... I still feel as fat and disgusting as I did back then, actually even more so now. I canāt function unless Iām fasting. I hate eating. I hate how food makes me feel. I hate that my obsession with looks, weight, and food controls almost every aspect of my life. I hate the all-or-nothing mindset I canāt seem to get rid of. I donāt know why everyone else can manage to have normal diets after WLS but I canāt. Iāve always been like this, looking back, so I suppose I was doomed from the start.
[Discussion] i trust you guys more than anything or anyone when it comes to stuff like this. so, kind of a dumb fasting question.
/u/intensitei [5ā8 | fat | 23F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 06:09:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wdbe6/i_trust_you_guys_more_than_anything_or_anyone/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! February 09, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 9 05:13:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wd17b/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for February 09, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 09, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 9 05:13:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wd16g/daily_food_diary_february_09_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 09, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Have you ever lived with another person with an ED? How would you make it work?
/u/woollyshirt [5'8 | 20M |(maybe not) recovering]
Created: Fri Feb 9 05:12:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wd13a/have_you_ever_lived_with_another_person_with_an/
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TLDR: One of the two people I'm moving in with in a few months has anorexia and is in early stages of recovery. I'm not sure where I'm at but I don't plan on letting my eating disorder take over my life. How do we both make this work?
She thinks I am recovered, and the more time I spend with her, the more she seems to put me on a pedestal as an *ideal healthy normal person,* her low self esteem comes through and I am put in an awkward situation. I feel uncomfortable living up to all these expectations placed on me to show her what it means to be healthy and to deal with her acting like I am inherently a better person than her.
I'm hoping she makes good progress in her own recovery over the next few months (she's already gaining weight and proud of it, and now has a diagnosis which should lead to appropriate support) but I'm worried that she's going to fall into a trap of being dependent on me and not listening to her support team- she's already asked me for dietary advice as we are vegan and she presumes that dieticians she sees won't be accepting of that but I told her I didn't feel like I should be placed above them.
I'm also concerned that my own habits will affect her- I do weigh and log my food at home, and I don't see this as something which negatively impacts my mental health, and I weigh myself too because I'm in a notably unique situation right now where i need to be as lean as possible while being a healthy weight for the best results for an operation involving a skin graft....and I don't know how she will deal with this, and my disordered thoughts are honestly loving this situation where I have an excuse to lose weight again, but I think I'm stable enough right not to not go too far.
With all this going on it feels like the best answer is just to not move in with her...but is there anything I can do to try and make it work? I'm doing my best to appear healthy for now when I'm around her to support her but there's only so much I can do. Is there anything you'd do in my situation? Thanks in advance for the help :(
[Rant/Rave] Now I remember why I quit drinking.
/u/Just_a_Paper_Bag [5'8" | F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 02:15:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wcahg/now_i_remember_why_i_quit_drinking/
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I stalk models on Insta and think about how my life is shit and how I'm fat and ugly and how I'm in this same loop even though I'm almost 30.
Fuck you, Kylie Jenner and your money that made you good looking.
(Sorry, Kylie. I'm just sad.)
I should have my life together by now, but I don't.
[Discussion] Flatmate who thinks their ED is secret...
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Fri Feb 9 01:05:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wc0of/flatmate_who_thinks_their_ed_is_secret/
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Ok so I definitely have a flatmate with an eating disroder.
She's 5'5ish and no more than 97-100lbs and thinks she's 'pudgy' and out of shape. she gets incredibly nervous whenever she sees/talks about food, and whenever she eats ANYTHING she'll dash to the bathroom and turn on the water directly after(and I have certainly had the unfortunate experience of still hearing what was happening when the water isn't loud enough).
She also binges every night, and whenever someone comes into the kitchen in the middle of it she'll turn off the lights immediately and scamper off.
My other flatmates are somehow oblivious to it...even though it's happened to all three of us
TLDR; my flatmate 100% has an eating disorder that she thinks I don't know about and it probably only bugs me because I see m own weird reactions to food in her but I'm also really really worried about her
[Rant/Rave] To my body, Iļøām sorry
/u/trappedinaclub
Created: Thu Feb 8 23:16:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wbk6w/to_my_body_im_sorry/
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Iļøm sorry. Iļøm sorry for what Iāve been doing to you. Iļøm sorry for not feeding you properly. Iļø donāt blame you for my hair falling out or my skin breaking out so badly. You were only doing what you had to do to help me survive when Iļø neglected you, and for that Iļø owe you so much.
Tonight was the last time, Iļø swear. Iļø swear to you, Iāll give you the nourishment you need. Iļø wonāt starve myself, Iļø wonāt stuff myself until Iļø canāt move, and Iļø wonāt make myself throw up. Iāll make sure Iļø get you the amount of exercise that keeps you happy. Iļø will love you, because you have been through so much with me. You got me on the all-star soccer team in the 3rd grade the first year Iļø played, and then the all star basketball team in 5th grade. You got me on the Varsity soccer and volleyball team in high school too. You took so many beatings through those years. Iļøm sorry that through all those years Iļø fed you with mcdonalds and Taco Bell And Starbucks. Itās come back to bite me in the ass so Iļø guess thatās karma. But youāve still stuck with me through it all.
Iāll keep running for you because Iļø know that makes you feel good, but this time Iļøāll make sure you get the food & fuel you need to run well. Iļø wonāt run as a means of purging. Iāll run as a means to clear my head and keep you happy and to show the world what you are capable of.
To my body, you donāt deserve what Iļø put you through, and Iļø understand why youāve been acting the way you have been. Iļø swear to you, Iļø will do everything in my power to mend this relationship, starting right now.
[Rant/Rave] Okay but can we talk about cereal
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | (treatment rip) | GW 95lbs]
Created: Thu Feb 8 23:00:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wbhcg/okay_but_can_we_talk_about_cereal/
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FUCK CEREAL.
Every time, I think, "Oh, it's not too calorically dense. I'll just have one bowl." EVERY TIME. It is the perfectly crafted binge food: lightly sweet so it's satisfying without being sickening; crunchy without being overwhelmingly dry; and somehow almost refreshing with the addition of milk. AND I CAN FIT SO MUCH INTO ME.
Anyways, I just ate 7 bowls of cereal, how's your day going?
[Help] i need advice
/u/nxlx
Created: Thu Feb 8 22:59:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wbh7f/i_need_advice/
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[removed]
[Help] soooo do I just have a crazy high tdee or what?
/u/proed-me [5'6 | 109 lbs| 17.5 | GW: 103]
Created: Thu Feb 8 22:47:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wbf5i/soooo_do_i_just_have_a_crazy_high_tdee_or_what/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I am actually the worst person on earth. TW: Disgusting
/u/merewautt
Created: Thu Feb 8 22:18:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wb9m0/i_am_actually_the_worst_person_on_earth_tw/
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Just to set the scene I've been having an extraordinarily shitty week, climaxing in an unexpected almost $900 emergency today. I cannot catch a break to save my life.
Literally the only bright side in my life was that I've been restricting well lately. My roommate left town today (which is rare) and the stress and having the apartment to myself for once just triggered the worst binge ever. Which wouldn't even be a fucking big deal it's a basically a drop in the bucket with how low I've been restricting for months now, but I fucking freaked out and made myself throw it all up. Just jamming my finger down my throat for like half an hour.
I haven't made myself throw up since I was a teenager, and I just feel like such a fucking loser. Like I'm 22 I can't keep trying to flush bad days down a toilet.
The worst part was it was so satisfying too, like I haven't learned a fucking thing or grown at all and I'm still the same shitty pre teen throwing up in a middle school bathroom.
What functional adult stresses about money by throwing up a bunch of perfectly good food that could have fed her for a week??? My head hurts and I'm crying and my throat is sore and swollen and I deserve every second of it.
[Discussion] Whats the stupidesy thing youve cried about because of your ED?
/u/That_1bitch
Created: Thu Feb 8 22:08:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wb7of/whats_the_stupidesy_thing_youve_cried_about/
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Im literally about to cry because i ate about 3/4 of a pan of macaroni and a few bites of a donut today. We had some pastries i was gonna c/s while chugging water instead but my dad wanted some for breakfast so i couldnt. Didnt know what else to do, made macaroni instead and now i fucking hate myself.
Edit: **stupidest
[Discussion] what's the lowdown on CICO/IF?
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|116.8lb|22F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 22:04:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wb6yk/whats_the_lowdown_on_cicoif/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I ruined my body
/u/sadclowntears [CW: 134 | UGW: 95 | -25lb | 18M]
Created: Thu Feb 8 21:55:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wb51l/i_feel_like_i_ruined_my_body/
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I started my first recovery 3 years ago and, long story short, ended up gaining A LOT of weight.
At my lowest I was 81 pounds and next thing I knew I was nearly 160.
I guess I've kind of relapsed since then. It's so... weird.
I thought gaining muscle mass would somehow help me stay recovered but I feel worse than ever.
My stomach and arms are littered with tiny stretch marks and it's so much harder for me to lose muscle than fat.
I want to be small and soft again but I keep gaining muscle.
Sometimes I just want to lay in bed and not move at all because I'm scared even walking will build mass.
AHHH I just want it to be easy again I really hope all this is reversible.
[Discussion] Baby food and tea?!?!
/u/ffj_ [5'5" | way too much | ridiculous | -18 | F | UGW: 77.2]
Created: Thu Feb 8 21:49:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wb3rm/baby_food_and_tea/
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Idk if I'm going completely insane but baby food has minimal ingredients, low calories, the taste makes you not want to eat, and they even have snacks that are low cal. Thoughts?
[Rant/Rave] TFW some random calculator says Iāll gain half a pound eating 0 calories a day
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 8 21:19:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7way50/tfw_some_random_calculator_says_ill_gain_half_a/
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https://i.redd.it/a061u48t54f01.jpg
[Discussion] High or low deficit?
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Thu Feb 8 20:54:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wasz7/high_or_low_deficit/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Mad.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 8 20:43:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7waqr7/mad/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7waqr7/mad/
[Discussion] YouTube doc āBitches and Beauty Queensā - India top models
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 8 20:38:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wapty/youtube_doc_bitches_and_beauty_queens_india_top/
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https://youtu.be/Yyeouz4L5NQ
[Help] youtube exercise recommendations pls!!
/u/requiemforatardis [5'6.5| CW: 119 GW: 95 | all flubber | LW: 102.5 | 23Agender]
Created: Thu Feb 8 20:08:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wajdh/youtube_exercise_recommendations_pls/
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i used to do pop pilates and i was actually thin. i fast every day but im still lard.
i just cannot listen to that cheery, mainstream normie and exercise. do you guys like anyone? maybe sans music so i don't have to listen to beiber šš«.
help!!
[Rant/Rave] My friend is amazing...
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Thu Feb 8 19:32:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7wabnj/my_friend_is_amazing/
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We go out and eat once a week and he makes sure I eat. Then weāll talk for an hour so I donāt go to the bathroom and throw up. He doesnāt know about what i do but he does know I have an unhealthy relationship with food.
I really like him but I also just appreciate the fact that heāll try to help me when I eat. This is the 4th meal Iāve shared with him and didnāt throw up. I feel like crap afterwards but at least I know Iām eating for someone else other than me.
[Rant/Rave] Slowly getting fatter...
/u/YourChinaDoll [5'1" | fat cow | sorry cows, you don't deserve that]
Created: Thu Feb 8 18:20:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w9vuf/slowly_getting_fatter/
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Not really sure the point of this post, just to rant I suppose? I've gained 9 pounds since my lowest weight, and I just feel awful. I'm stuck in a rut that I don't think I'll ever get out of. I'm constantly stressed at work and overeating because of it, and it's making me fatter, which is driving me crazy! I graduated college in May and now all I do is sit: on the way to work, at work, on the way home, when I get home. I work pretty long hours and when I get home, I just eat and go to bed. I've stopped purging for the most part after trying to self-recover, and now I'm scared that I've traded in bulimia for full-blown binge-eating disorder. There used to be days where I would exist on diet coke and tums, and now I can't even eat at maintenance, let alone restrict. What is wrong with me?? I thought life would be so much better if I stopped purging but if this is what "recovery" means, it's just not worth it to me.
[Rant/Rave] I like being thinner but I hate my ribcage.
/u/misspennyfoolish
Created: Thu Feb 8 18:15:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w9uox/i_like_being_thinner_but_i_hate_my_ribcage/
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Iām at 127! New low weight down from 155 in September!
130 is my normal āsafeā weight but 115 is my goal. Iām 5ā3 and need to learn how to flair lol.
It sucks tho bc my mom went from deriding me over my fat and slapping food out of my hand to saying Iām now suddenly too thin. And how now I have facial wrinkles even though Iām only 26.
Also I just wanna be like Emily Ratowjoski (lol Iām drunk fasting and I canāt spell now) or Gal Gadot or Margot Robbie - thin and petite but no bones sticking out. I hate how much my big rib case sticks out when my thighs and stomach are still pretty flabby. Like wtf why am I so barrel chested.
My mom says I just have big bones which makes me feel so limited and trapped :( drunkish rant over
Thanks again to you all. This is the sub where I always feel welcome and understood
[Rant/Rave] "Did you eat?"
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Thu Feb 8 16:57:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w9cld/did_you_eat/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is it Ramadan already?
/u/gentlemanx7
Created: Thu Feb 8 16:55:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w9c7c/is_it_ramadan_already/
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[removed]
[Help] Just had my first binge in a while
/u/vulturepants [5'5 | SW: 175 | CW: still too much | GW: 120]
Created: Thu Feb 8 16:53:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w9bte/just_had_my_first_binge_in_a_while/
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I feel so shitty now. I went out to eat with my roommate and we had a lot of fun but i ended up going crazy and eating way too much and buying even more to take back to my room. i don't know what to do with it, it feels like such a waste of money to get rid of it but i do NOT want to eat it.
i'm so disappointed in myself. i'd been doing really well with restricting strictly all week and now i'm back to feeling as awful and disgusting as i did before.
if anyone has any words of encouragement or anything like that, i could really use it. i can't let myself binge again.
[Intro] Iām back.
/u/WorthlessMouse
Created: Thu Feb 8 16:50:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w9b49/im_back/
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This is an account Iām using just for this sub because I donāt want it traced back to me.
Iāve been actively trying to recover for years. I went to therapy May of last year and I was getting better. I really was. And then something happened. I donāt know if itās the stress from working and going to school and having a toddler, or if Iām fed up with being fat. Iām desperate again. Desperate enough to lie to my husband, my friends, and my therapist. I donāt give a shit about being healthy. I want to be skinny. It feels so good to say fuck it and let my ED take over again.
Itās been years. Fuck, Iāve missed it.
New stats: 154.2. Down from 164 since January 1. Height is 5ā2ā.
Goal: At least 130, but I think I can push it to 120 this time. Itās been years since Iāve been in the 140s so weāll see how long it takes.
Challenges: My husband knows about my ED and watches me whenever heās around. Also my therapist will flip shit if she finds out.
[Help] I made a full recovery and I hate it.
/u/Sunshine_hope
Created: Thu Feb 8 15:49:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w8wfn/i_made_a_full_recovery_and_i_hate_it/
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[removed]
[Help] [help] Is my exercise routine the reason Iām not dropping weight?
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW:š| GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 15:38:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w8tja/help_is_my_exercise_routine_the_reason_im_not/
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[removed]
[Other] Something I noticed
/u/orangepekoes [BMI 20]
Created: Thu Feb 8 15:37:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w8tg6/something_i_noticed/
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My bmi is around 19 (or 20 based on the recommended bmi calculator here) and people often casually tell me I'm tiny or little or thin even though I feel I'm average and have a good amount of meat on my bones (yuck). Yet when my bmi was 17 nobody ever complimented me on my weight. Sometimes I'd get concerned people, but nobody ever told me I looked good or that I was so skinny or tiny. I remember it being irritating at the time. I now realize the reason why they didn't mention my weight is because they probably suspected I was sick or didn't want to encourage my behavior. Just a random, weird thought, thank you for listening
[Other] What 200 kcal look like...
/u/sicksadcook [162| 48.9 |19.03 | GW47 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 15:30:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w8rlf/what_200_kcal_look_like/
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https://www.boredpanda.com/what-200-calories-look-like/
[Rant/Rave] Late night rant
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: 99 | GW:88 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 15:09:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w8m7z/late_night_rant/
---
You know how they say "don't ruin/hurt your body", like???
It just isn't fair. It isn't fair how some girls get blessed with perfect skin, beautiful face, beautiful eyes, almost no body hair (if you're hairy like me, you'll understand) and so on...
And yet there's me. What has my body to offer? Hairy legs, ugly face, short sausage fingers, fat arms, fat ankles, fat thighs, fat stomach, fat everything!
I literally can't name more than two things I like about my body.
My body doesn't offer me anything, so it deserves a punishment. Yes, I do see it as a seperate being. A being that likes to act like a little bitch to me and gives me nothing but ugliness in a world that only sees a womans worth in how pretty she is.
So therefore, fuck you body! You don't deserve food. Not today, not tomorrow, never. Because if you can't give me what I want, then why should I give you anything at all???
It's not a temple, it's an evil twin.
So go get a taste of what pain feels like.
[Discussion] Anyone else hate being weighed at the doc's?
/u/Koi-Nami [5'7 | CW 110.3 | BMI 17.3 | GW: 100 | 20 F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 14:28:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w8axo/anyone_else_hate_being_weighed_at_the_docs/
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I tend to weigh myself with no or minimum clothing. This way, I'm about 110 pounds. However, when I go to the doctors they make you wear all your clothes, your shoes, etc, and it makes the stupid number go up by like five pounds. This bothers me to no end. I think about that number for DAYS afterward. Does anyone else get triggered over it?
[Rant/Rave] SO called me fat, have relapsed
/u/Kittenmagick [5'7 | CW: 119lbs | GW: 100lbs | 25/F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 13:21:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w7swk/so_called_me_fat_have_relapsed/
---
My boyfriend and I were on holidays in Europe (we're Australian) and had an argument. I was about 51kg(112lb) when I went over to Europe (this isn't ideal, I prefer 50kg, but I was really trying at the whole recovery/happiness shebang) and by the time said argument happened I was at about 55kg (121lb). He specifically pointed at my stomach which he knows I worry about.
He also knows I have a history of eating disorders so I'm really not sure what he was trying to achieve by telling me I was fat. In fairness to him, he apologised afterwards. But you can't take the words back, because he wouldn't have said them if he didn't mean them.
I guess I just feel really, deflated? (Not literally 'aha, then I would be skinny).
I did super well at university last semester but it means nothing? I'm fatter than I have been in years, so who cares that I have a distinction average and two jobs?
My self worth is measured completely by what the scale offers. So right now, I have the self worth of a mosquito.
I guess- back to eating nothing but vegan Borscht and drinking vodka and water.
Anyway, long story short, I think I've completely relapsed. Yay āØš
45kg here I come.
Sorry just had to tell someone and I can't talk about this with anyone in my immediate life.
[Rant/Rave] 2 weeks progress
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 8 13:19:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w7s5v/2_weeks_progress/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Thinking of buying the fitbit Alta hr, thoughts?
/u/elttil_snatas [5'3" | CW 186lbs | Obese Whale | -9lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 13:14:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w7qv6/thinking_of_buying_the_fitbit_alta_hr_thoughts/
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I like how small and sleek that one is and that it constantly monitors heart rate and would love to try it out! It's an expensive investment, though, so I want y'alls opinions/insight first. Which model do you have/recommend? Have you had the Alta hr and would you recommend it?
[Discussion] Question about weighing avocados
/u/ggreatgoat
Created: Thu Feb 8 12:55:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w7lpa/question_about_weighing_avocados/
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Do you weigh avocados with the pits removed or still intact?
[Discussion] Safe dishware/utensils?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 12:37:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w7gpr/safe_dishwareutensils/
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I know that eating from smaller plates and bowls and using smaller utensils is one of the easiest ways to trick your brain into thinking you're eating more than you are. Does anyone have a set that they like?
[Other] Personality Test!
/u/fatterfly [5'4" | 150 lolfml | 25.6 | -6 | 24F | RELAPSE HELLO!]
Created: Thu Feb 8 12:35:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w7g5p/personality_test/
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So I found [this test](https://www.idrlabs.com/personality-style/test.php) on another subreddit and I thought it was pretty cool. We all have a certain mental issue in common obviously but I'm curious to see what other issues we might have in common!
[These are my results](https://i.imgur.com/NRkiK9c.png). I've been diagnosed with clinical depression so of course I'm not surprised that I've got a depressive personality. The other percentages are all not surprising either **except** the 57% sadistic part! I never would've guessed, lol.
Share yours! :)
[Intro] First post here...I just love when I ruin all my progress!
/u/littlebluetrashkitty [5'7" | 118 | 18.5 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 12:31:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w7f2u/first_post_herei_just_love_when_i_ruin_all_my/
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Hi everybody, long time lurker, first time poster! I've never been formally diagnosed with an ED but I have been diagnosed with BDD & I definitely have a weird relationship with food, particularly in regards to binge eating (what, you're telling me normal people don't sneak cake mix into their room at 1 AM and proceed to eat a whole bowl of cake batter?).
In September, after a few months of particularly shitty eating and gaining 8 pounds (115 to 123), I decided enough was enough. I was going to track my calories, eat well, and restrict any binging to holidays and special occasions. And surprisingly I did really well. I even gave myself a goal weight of 110 lbs and come New Years I was only 2 pounds away...until I decided to fuck it all up. For some reason I thought...it's the holidays, it's cool. Oh, one more day of eating whatever I want can't hurt, right? And another day. And another. Until I had basically spent the whole month of January binging. I've gotten back on track in the past week or so, but now I'm at 118 and it just feels awful. I was so close and doing so well and I ruined it all. I'm so disappointed in myself and wish I could just eat like a normal person. :(
Thanks for giving me a space to vent. Any encouragement or advice is appreciated.
chewing gums are laxative?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 8 12:22:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w7cmj/chewing_gums_are_laxative/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Frustration.
/u/ReversedHierophant
Created: Thu Feb 8 12:22:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w7ciz/frustration/
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Two ounces. After two weeks of loosing a pound every other day and around 3 lbs for the week I only lost two ounces so far... I'm hoping that something shifts in the next few days but fuck.
I stuck to my plan. He'll I outdid the plan! I ate under the calorie limit except for ONE day but overall I'm still under by like 300 cals (1,300) a day.
Hell I got away with even fasting this morning cause I didn't need to be in work.
[Rant/Rave] just don't know what to do anymore
/u/cisheterpatriarchy
Created: Thu Feb 8 12:01:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w76si/just_dont_know_what_to_do_anymore/
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i've always struggled with my eating habits. for a few months now i've alternated between restricting very low and binging. i've been trying to lose weight and of course nothing is happening.
it's gotten worse recently. some days it goes well and i stay under my calorie restriction, but most days go like so:
eat nothing up until about 6pm every day (1pm on weekends), i eat my dinner but then i go wild. i will eat until i feel like i'm about to throw up. it's like if i eat it's going to lead to a binge no matter what. i don't want to eat anymore. i told my mum to stop buying snacks and my go to binge foods but that doesn't help. i can binge on anything. unless there's nothing in the house to eat i'll binge on anything. i don't know what to do anymore i've tried just 'stopping myself and thinking of the consequences' but all i can think about in the moment is that i want to eat. How do i stop myself. I want to lose weight and i want to lose it healthily but it's like even if it's going well for a bit it'll inevitably end in a week long binge then i'm back at square one.
i'm not overweight but i'm bordering it, i've gained a lot of weight considering 2 years ago i was underweight. but i've stayed around the same weight for a few months now, i guess that's good that i'm not gaining any more weight.
maybe it's because i have no distractions, because at school i don't eat, i get the urge to but i can control myself. but then when i'm at home i'm some monster.
but when i'm fasting, i just think about food all through it. this is horrible i haven't had a normal day of eating (so not restricting/binging) for a couple weeks now. i'm so ashamed of myself
[Discussion] Are there any ed related communities that cater to more of a mature (18+ maybe?) audience?
/u/Zurthrow [5'4| CW:128 | HW:150 | GW2:125 | 22F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 11:29:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w6xnv/are_there_any_ed_related_communities_that_cater/
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I like this sub but I've recently realized a decent amount of the members without age flairs are like 14. EDs affect all ages of course but it can be hard to relate to someone who was in middle school last year when you're graduating college or a whole ass adult. I do plan on staying here but if anyone knows of anything like what I mentioned I'd love to add it to my arsenal of communities lol <3 thanks all
Willpower is overrated - I found this article both helpful and comforting!
/u/anxietymeow [166cm|CW 55.9kg|GW 52kg|BMI 20.47]
Created: Thu Feb 8 11:28:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w6xd6/willpower_is_overrated_i_found_this_article_both/
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https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/1/15/16863374/willpower-overrated-self-control-psychology
[Discussion] Eleanor Calder has lost weight?
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 52 | GW 47 | BMI 17.94 | F |]
Created: Thu Feb 8 11:19:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w6v36/eleanor_calder_has_lost_weight/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate having an ED, I hate recovering from one and I hate not having one.
/u/religiousdogmom [5'5.75 | CW155.6 | GW105 | BMI 25.53 | 25]
Created: Thu Feb 8 11:09:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w6sae/i_hate_having_an_ed_i_hate_recovering_from_one/
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I fuckign HATE my dumb brain. I'm just here and I hate myself for how much I stress about food. I don't eat low carb, but every time I eat bread, I just think "well, this is ruining everything about my body." Everytime i eat breakfast, everytime I eat anything, it is a failure.
I just can't get my mom's voice out of my head every time I eat and I am really struggling today.
I've been trying to eat more vegetarian, because I like veggies and I thought it would be good for me. But it just means I'm not eating keto like my mom wants me to, and I know this maybe seems dumb, especially since I fucking binge and I'm overweight anyway, but I just feel like a failure, even though, I've been eating more mindfully, and not binging, and I ate breakfast today. But now I am sitting at my desk trying not to fucking CRY because I ate 450 calories for breakfast, when normally I don't eat until lunch at the earliest.
BASICALLY EVERYTHING IS BAD, I want to fucking die, I'm so sick of this "recovery" and I am so fucking tired of being a fat fuck.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Will be Documenting My Binges
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 10:46:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w6lhc/rant_will_be_documenting_my_binges/
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I need to be accountable for what I do damn it. It's reasonable on the end of a fasting day to end up eating a snack but damn! Why do all my small but healthy snacks turn me into some sort of desperate deranged lunatic. Started off with one rice cake w/ peanut butter and strawberries(physically content at this point), then two, then all the strawberries, then more peanut butter, then some broth to curve the salty swing, then even though i was nauseous lets eat some vegan chicken nuggets with that super cal veg ranch dressing. I don't want to think of the calories. I'm ashamed. Is there some magic trick to get self control lol.
[Discussion] Fasted for one day and now I guess I'm done eating forever lol
/u/elttil_snatas [5'3" | CW 186lbs | Obese Whale | -9lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 10:44:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w6l1e/fasted_for_one_day_and_now_i_guess_im_done_eating/
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The other day I got sick of being stuck at a plateau after only losing like 4lbs so I decided to fast for 24 hours. It went well as I woke up at 188 so that was 3lbs of water/food weight that just disappeared all at once but since then I just... don't care about eating anymore. The thought of consuming food at this point leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
I continue to eat here and there to make sure I don't stress out my husband but none of it is enjoyable. Last night when we got home from the gym I was planning on making stuffed bell peppers but the meat I bought was already bad (stupid me, should have checked the date) so I just didn't eat. He offered to make me some boiled eggs but I said "not right now, I'll find something later", got high, sat down on the couch and forgot all about it. Today I woke up at 186, secretly very satisfied with myself.
This went downhill so quickly I'm shocked. Last week I couldn't control myself at all and this week I'm chanting in my head how many calories everything has and how many pounds I have left to each of my goals and obsessing about the slight difference in how my clothes fit. We're going to his mom's tonight for dinner (like we do every Thursday) and I've been reciting all the calories in meals she typically cooks in my head and trying to think of ways to make it less.
9lbs down so far.
16lbs until my old clothes start fitting right again.
43lbs to my lw.
61lbs to my ugw.
Anyone else just suddenly slip and fall back into this?
[Help] Coming off a fast
/u/sleep-iest [5'5"| gw 99 | 20f | š sleepyest]
Created: Thu Feb 8 10:27:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w6g4z/coming_off_a_fast/
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Right now Iām about 84 hours into my fast. I will have to eat tomorrow night (about 30 hours from now) and then during the weekend because Iām visiting my boyfriend. However, I want to make sure I slowly come out of the fast today and/or tomorrow so I donāt binge.
Does anyone have any tips for foods or drinks to eat when coming out of a fast? Also, according to my scale Iāve lost 11 lbs since I started, which I know isnāt very accurate and that Iāll gain a lot when I end. Anyone have any advice for not freaking out seeing the scale go up?
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I miss basic training
/u/Bluelilly582 [5'3" | 146 lbs | BMI 24 | ]
Created: Thu Feb 8 10:24:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w6fcm/sometimes_i_miss_basic_training/
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One year ago i went to an US Army base in Missouri to do basic training and learn how to be a soldier. I hated being there and not being able to see my friends and family and being treated like a child by drill sergeants. The only thing i miss is the controlled food and only being given five min to eat each meal time and being active. I lost 20 pounds in two months from only eating bland healthy food and no snacking and walking 6 miles a day. Im struggling right now to lose weight because I have the freedom to eat whatever i want. If i could go back to basic training i would lol
[Other] Birthday binge
/u/lanadelrayban
Created: Thu Feb 8 10:06:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w6a9l/birthday_binge/
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[removed]
[Other] Maybe you need this today:
/u/Paladinia [28/F | cbmi 18.31 -> gbmi 17.6 | career bulimic]
Created: Thu Feb 8 09:47:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w64tz/maybe_you_need_this_today/
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I love you, I care about you. I want nothing but the best for you. You may be a stranger, but that doesn't matter. Everyone here is brought together by this awful shitshow of a disorder, and I love and cherish each and every one of you.
YES 'even' you, you currently lurking there reading this thinking "but I don't even post here I'm not part of the group surely this doesn't apply to me", surprise, it DOES apply, and I do in fact love and cherish YOU also.
Girl or boy or other, young or old or whatever - I am proud of you for making it this far. You're important and unique, no matter what the shitty people around you (or your own bad thoughts) say, and I. LOVE. YOU.
[Tip] Ultimate Starbucks drink...
/u/tahiniii [68" ā 138 ā 21 ā -11 ā 24F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 09:39:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w62p8/ultimate_starbucks_drink/
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So I started getting this new drink at Starbucks that I saw on Twitter, the person who posted it called it ācrack potionā and said it kills your appetite for 14 hours. Well I tried it...and it definitely killed my appetite and gave me a lot of energy!
Itās crazy how good it actually tasted even though it sounds and looks disgusting. I love iced drinks even in the winter so here is the recipe.
Ingredients:
Two scoops of matcha
Two shots of espresso
Shaken with green iced tea
Calories: 70
[Other] Final booze update, hopefully.
/u/Deviiation [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 24.55 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Thu Feb 8 09:32:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w60vh/final_booze_update_hopefully/
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Went to the doctor. Told him everything. He prescribed me things for the nausea and headaches and referred me to the local addictions team. [Sigh] That local addictions team must be sick of me, if they remember me from circa 2015. It's quite near my old house and they used to have me staggering in nodding everywhere every week. Here's hoping they don't!
[Discussion] Anyone else run out of food during a binge and completely lose their shit
/u/skinnyinscrubs [5ā5.5ā | CW 115 | BMI 18.8 | GW1 112 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 09:23:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w5yjk/anyone_else_run_out_of_food_during_a_binge_and/
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I literally just turned my place upside down desperately looking for something else to eat, after restricting for a while. What the fuck is my brain
[Discussion] Weird Safe Food Concoctions
/u/paperclipfish
Created: Thu Feb 8 09:16:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w5wmm/weird_safe_food_concoctions/
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New to this group so not sure if this is allowed or not!
DAE have weird safe food combos? For me itās lettuce with light soy sauce as dressing (think itās the saltiness)
[Rant/Rave] All of my roommates have gym memberships
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [š5'5|105|17.68|Maintaining?š]
Created: Thu Feb 8 09:15:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w5w6y/all_of_my_roommates_have_gym_memberships/
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I came home from class yesterday and one of my roommates who had been trying to lose weight for the past few months mentioned that she had bought a gym membership. I told her I was really happy for her because she is not athletic at all and used to spend the entire weekend in bed. I live with four other girls that are all larger than me and whenever they talk about dieting, calories, and exercise I canāt help but get a little competitive. The gym membership is expensive and Iām not giving the university any money for that crap. I still walk every where I can but it makes me feel so lazy when I see them getting ready for spin class. I just restrict more to make up for it.
I said something like ādamn iām the only one in the apartment that doesnāt have one.ā And all 3 of the roommates sitting at the table said that I am the last person that needs one.
It made me feel a bit better.
[Rant/Rave] Finally!!
/u/lostinitt [5'6" | CW: 95 | GW: 92| 25F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 08:55:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w5qqt/finally/
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[removed]
[Help] They moved my treatment start date to tomorrow.
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 111 | 20.3 | -24 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 08:39:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w5mic/they_moved_my_treatment_start_date_to_tomorrow/
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Fuck.
[Tip] Tips for estimating calories?
/u/Babunator
Created: Thu Feb 8 08:18:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w5h8f/tips_for_estimating_calories/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I want today to be a good day
/u/PizzaInMyUrethra [5'5" | CW: INSANE | GW1: 150 | 24F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 08:08:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w5eop/i_want_today_to_be_a_good_day/
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Yesterday was a disaster. I struggle with binge eating. I found out a client of mine had died and it got me thinking of mortality and dying fat. I canāt.
Today will be a good day. The evenings are a struggle for me so please send good vibes.
Iām terrified of binging again tonight. I canāt leave a fat nasty corpse. I need to experience life with a happy body before I go.
Grocery haul :)
/u/lifeizsweet
Created: Thu Feb 8 08:02:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w5d4i/grocery_haul/
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https://youtu.be/rHVdtr4DNvI
[Other] You know what an ED does to you?
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 115 | 19.7 | meh | 26F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 07:49:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w59xi/you_know_what_an_ed_does_to_you/
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Give you insecurity piled after another. Pull you inālike a vortex into its arms but make you feel an outsider to your world. It makes you want to protect something that will ultimately leave you alone and broken in the end. Yes Iām thinner and my lines may be sharper but I feel no love for myself.
It makes you rethink relationships and love and joy and freedom and second chances and unabashed, reckless confidence just for the sake of keeping that ED. After all, whatever prevents your ED is whatever you must get rid ofāavoid, or cut off like the plague
What a lonely time, and respite is only found to in those who understand. Those who share the same disease. This is no diet and this is no life.
I donāt love myself.
Who can love me when I feel so hollowed out and chewed and spat out.
[Discussion] Upcoming Trader Joeās shopping trip!
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Thu Feb 8 07:39:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w57dn/upcoming_trader_joes_shopping_trip/
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Anyone have any favorite safe foods from Trader Joeās? Iām going later today :) my personal favorite is the red pepper dip. Only 15 cal a serving!
[Rant/Rave] I looked my best during my first year at university. So I have an album of pictures of me from then to motivate me.
/u/Borderline-Crazy
Created: Thu Feb 8 07:38:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w5773/i_looked_my_best_during_my_first_year_at/
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I started uni in 2014 at the smallest Iād ever been and it was great. Iād begun meeting new people, having fun, drinking, and I only had a couple drunken meltdowns about how fat I was. Countless people rebuffed that though, and they always said I looked hot.
And tbh, I think I did. I look back on pictures from then and I just wanna cry and die.
My whole first year of university, I was okay. I didnāt gain too much weight, maybe about 10lbs the whole year, but it was manageable in my head. It was like āokay everybody gains weight when theyāre a fresher, itās fine, Iāll lose it quicklyā. But then since 2015, Iāve basically been an alcoholic. Itās super lame. But obviously all that alcohol, paired with weed and munchies and basically eating like shit for the past 2.5 years has made me gain a fuck load of weight.
So anyway, now I have an album of pictures of me on my phone from 2014-2015 and I look back on them as motivation. I looked like that once. I can (and I will) look like that again.
[Intro] I used to post here all the time, but stopped when I decided to recover. Am I still welcome?
/u/asenseofnormal [5ā7ā | too dang much | 23F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 07:24:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w53u1/i_used_to_post_here_all_the_time_but_stopped_when/
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I lost track of how many accounts I madeāI would get paranoid about someone finding out who I was, which led me to delete everything and create new accounts on a pretty regular basis. But itās been a while since Iāve been active.
Lately, Iāve been struggling. I canāt say I ever recovered, really, but I tried to. I forced myself to believe that change in behavior would eventually lead to a change in mindset, that I just had to stick with it and it would get easier, that it would all be worth it in the end.
Iām not strong enough for this. The only āprogressā Iāve made in over a year has been weight gain. Iām fucking miserable, I hate my body, and I honestly donāt want to try anymore. I know I shouldnāt give up, especially since I start medical school in July; I was really hoping Iād have a handle on things by then, but thatās starting to seem impossible.
Iām desperate for support from people who understand, who wonāt judge me, who will let me be honest and expose my worst self. I remember how helpful this community was for feeling like I wasnāt alone. I donāt know what Iām doing anymore, and I need you guys.
So, hi everyone. Iām a 23-year-old emotional mess. Nice to meet you.
[Rant/Rave] I just did the weirdest, most humiliating thing in public and I really just want to take a moment to laugh at myself with you guys.
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | CW 114.2 | GW 100 | 26F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 07:08:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w5093/i_just_did_the_weirdest_most_humiliating_thing_in/
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Iām taking an evening class at an adult learning center that doesnāt start for another couple hours. My gym is pretty nearby so I decided to work out, shower, grab a snack and hang out in the school before my class.
I went to the supermarket to look for something i could eat in the lobby of the school (i.e. something i didnāt need to cook) but ofc iām sĆŗper picky about what i want to eat post workout. i spotted some premade sandwiches and considered them but, i really wanted some yogurt or something high protein like that. the problem being that most of the yogurts come in packs of 6 and i donāt wanna lug around a bunch of yogurt for the next few hours.
anyway i agonize over what to do for like way too many minutes and see a big bottle of kefir. okay, cool kefir and i are friendly. 70 cal/100g.... 500g in the bottle... a little steep. next to it is something called ābatido de queso con yogurtā. itās 60 cal/100g, 500g in the container (itās like an ice cream pint).
hereās the thing. batido in spanish usually means something like smoothie so iām thinking cool i can drink this and itāll be no problem.
i get to the school, open my yogurt thing, and this shit is THICK AS F. iām like fuuuuuck. what to do what to do. there are no spoons to be found. and even if i had a spoon id look like a freak spooning yogurt into my mouth from a frickin pint in public.
so i do what comes most logically to me - find a dark corner where no one will notice me and SQUEEZE THIS THICK YOGURT INTO MY MOUTH LIKE A DAMN GOGURT. I felt fucking stupid as hell. i donāt think anyone was watching me but i knew, if someone saw me rn theyād be hella confused. i got through about half the package and decided you know what, thatās enough.
i feel like this is the only community of people that would even remotely understand how hilarious and humiliating it can be to have an ED and all the problems that come with it.
i shoulda gotten the sandwich š
[Other] Update again on the booze.
/u/Deviiation [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 24.55 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Thu Feb 8 06:26:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w4r4j/update_again_on_the_booze/
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I can't do it. I have a doctor's appointment today about it but I'll brush it off. Maybe I'll get detox meds, but I doubt it as I think they consider me the drug-seeker type. I got a few weak beers and two strong ones (one of which is gone already, the other for bedtime). Definitely not eating today with all the beer calories coming up, but I think I'm happy enough with life how it is. I get my benefits/welfare tomorrow, and more on Monday, so I'm fine. I might try to stop some other time. For now it'd be nothing but added stress that I could do without. Might get some cigarettes tomorrow too. I've only had four since late December and I have a good vape but the cravings are real.
[Rant/Rave] Jewish holidays will be the death of me š
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Thu Feb 8 05:54:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w4ko6/jewish_holidays_will_be_the_death_of_me/
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Donāt get me wrong, I love my culture. Itās beautiful, itās exciting, itās rich....itās filled with fucking holidays where all you do is eat eat eat. Thereās another one every month. Just last month, there was a little known holiday to celebrate the trees. Thereās a tradition to eat a ton of fruit on that day. More specifically, dried fruit.
Dried. Fucking. Fruit.
One of my biggest fear foods.
I didnāt eat it of course but it was there, taunting me with jewish guilt that I wasnāt following tradition. Next up is Purim, a holiday literally dedicated to eat, drink, and be merry. People hand out gift baskets of candy and cakes, drink tons of wine, dress up....in theory, it should be a lot of fun. Iām dreading it so much.
Soon after that is Passover. Eight days of fear foods. Matzo and potatoes and meat and not much else cuz my safe foods are off limits during Passover. Itās a month and a half away and Iām already thinking up excuses for missing the Seder. Iāve also been hospitalized and had my biggest relapses over Passover, so I donāt hold good feelings.
I guess my point is, it doesnāt end and Iām freaking out. That doesnāt even include the sabbath, which has freaking thanksgiving dinner every week, twice. Once Friday night, once Saturday for lunch.
Again, I love my religion and culture. I really do. Iām just so overwhelmed and scared and lonely in this. Sorry for the awkwardly ending rant š
[Discussion] February 8th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 05:51:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w4k1u/february_8th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Are you in love?
Hoping for positivity and good vibes āŗļø
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support February 08, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 8 05:11:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w4cvp/weekly_emotional_support_february_08_2018/
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We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 08, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 8 05:10:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w4cof/daily_food_diary_february_08_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for February 08, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] DAE have 'safe' weights?
/u/subtleskeleton
Created: Thu Feb 8 05:04:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w4bq6/dae_have_safe_weights/
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For example: my GW is 97, UGW is 95, and currently the highest weight I can be and not self-hate spiral is 99. Does anyone else have a weight that is not your goal weight, but you can function as long as you don't go over it?
Bonus question: how often does your GW/UGW change? Is it once you hit your goal weight, or do you make your GW lower in times of stress?
Having a rough week and suddenly 97 isn't good enough and UGW is getting closer to 90, since clearly I am worthless in every other aspect of life.
[Rant/Rave] Fasting is bullshit and I am so done with it
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 134 | GW: 110]
Created: Thu Feb 8 01:37:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w3gv0/fasting_is_bullshit_and_i_am_so_done_with_it/
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So I've just finished a 33 hour fast yesterday, followed by a short break and another 11-hour fast. In total I've consumed around ~300 calories during the last 2 days and about ~1100 during the entire week. I also can't really eat anything today until the evening because I didn't take my lunch with me nor the money to buy anything.
Why am I doing this? Because after so many failed attempts I wanted to prove to myself that I am indeed in control of my eating and I am capable of fasting.
Do you know how much weight I lost this week? Half a pound. Half. A. Fucking. Pound.
I know I must be retaining some water but I refuse to believe it can be this much. When I restricted to 900-1000 calories per day I could drop 1-1.5 lbs every day AND didn't feel like I'm about to die.
Sorry for the rant but I'm really disappointed and needed to share with someone.
[Discussion] Question for people who go off measurements and not scales...
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 8 00:31:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w37aa/question_for_people_who_go_off_measurements_and/
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How tightly do you pull the measuring tape or how much room are you supposed to leave? Iām never sure if what Iām seeing is actual progress or me just pulling tighter so it feels like progress.
[Rant/Rave] I ate too much konjac pasta to save calories
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 8 00:15:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w34s7/i_ate_too_much_konjac_pasta_to_save_calories/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w34s7/i_ate_too_much_konjac_pasta_to_save_calories/
[Rant/Rave] Trying on clothes that are too small is so triggering
/u/dearisabella [5'2" | CW: 120 | GW: 105 | 21F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 23:57:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w31u4/trying_on_clothes_that_are_too_small_is_so/
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I guess this issue started when I was younger. I was always the 'largest' in my immediate Asian family and shopping for items like jeans and bathing suits with my mom was the *worst*. I would hate trying something on and looking at my mom's discerning face as she said I probably need to size up. I shiver just thinking about it.
Now, every time I have to try on multiple sizes of the same item, I always wear the larger size first. Then I feel better if I have to size down and I feel normal if the larger size fits fine. I ordered a pair of size four American Eagle jeans the other day and they were too large for me. I went to the store to try on thr other sizes before I reordered. They had the same jeans, but in a different color. I tried on the size two, which was a bit too large... the size zero fit perfectly. (I am not a zero. Vanity sizing.) So, the sales associate reordered my jeans in the size zero.
When I got home, I looked up the jeans that I tried on in the store... only to see that a reviewer said they fit larger than the other colors of the same pants! Since I used the larger jeans as a standard to order my jeans, I am terrified the ones that come in the mail will be too small for me. If they are too small, I will probably use them as motivation to lose weight, but I'm just scared of that feeling. :(
[Rant/Rave] I don't think I'll ever completely handle daily weight fluctuations.
/u/aerienne [5'4" | CW: 139.0 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 23:29:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w2x8k/i_dont_think_ill_ever_completely_handle_daily/
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I had half a protein bar and a hand-sized piece of steak today.
Up 6 pounds by the end of the day. I know it's because I drink so much water too, but damn.
It's so discouraging even when I know it's just food/water/poop/etc. It always feels like weeks of progress out the window. Then it's back to normal by morning and I start again.
[Other] I pass the place I almost killed myself every day
/u/pcrnography [it's just water weight]
Created: Wed Feb 7 23:07:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w2tiw/i_pass_the_place_i_almost_killed_myself_every_day/
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Yeah so I once had a breakdown in a SafeWay parking lot, complete with sobbing so hard some lady came and asked if I was okay and needed water and with me purging in public, in broad daylight. Itās so weird. I feel like that whole area is cursed now. I always bought stuff to binge on there, so I guess itās fitting. If I look out while heading to work or school I can see the exact spot I was sure I was done. Sorry Iām rambling. Iām restricting low and I might have the flu right now. My headās been fuzzy for days. Iām not even at a low weight. Just hazy
[Help] calorie estimate please :(
/u/grape_fruits [slightly over 5'3" | 98.6 lbs | 19F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 22:25:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w2m5m/calorie_estimate_please/
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I just ate 6 or 7 of these cookies:
https://www.greensbabka.com/raspberry-hamantaschen.html
I looked it up and calorie counts range from like 50 to 250 so I honestly have no idea... does anyone here have experience with these? also kms theres a TEN POUND box of these downstairs š
[Discussion] Does anyone else blot oil off food?
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 88 | BMI 14.6| 17F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 21:45:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w2eij/does_anyone_else_blot_oil_off_food/
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I can't help it, even pre Ed I've always dabbed the excess oil off pizza. Or anything else that has very easily wiped off oil. Just wondering if I'm the only crazy one who does this?
[Other] Is anyone on Prozac?
/u/dumbdrunk5477
Created: Wed Feb 7 21:44:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w2ea7/is_anyone_on_prozac/
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I'm worried to start Prozac because I heard so many bad things
I already barley have motivation as it is, and I'm a college student so lack of motivation will fuck with me
[Rant/Rave] I'm ashamed to be THAT roommate...
/u/vvesper [5'5.5'' | mirror mirror | F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 21:36:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w2cpn/im_ashamed_to_be_that_roommate/
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So this may seem silly but I have had a problem whenever I live with other people of stealing their food.
Because I'm always dieting or restricting and also have trouble with the occasional binge sometimes I can't resist stealing a cookie here, or a mini candy bar there. The worst it's been has been literally taking bites out of people's leftovers, and one time I stole a piece of someone's mochi that wasn't even my roommates, it was their FRIEND that came over!!
This is really embarrassing and I honestly don't know why I do it. It's unacceptable and also wrong. I really want to break this habit but I don't know what to do in the moment when I'm being so stupid and selfish. Please tell me how much of a fucking asshole cow I am.
[Rant/Rave] God I fucking hate r/fatlogic
/u/proed-me [5'6 | 109 lbs| 17.5 | GW: 103]
Created: Wed Feb 7 21:28:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w2b38/god_i_fucking_hate_rfatlogic/
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Their worshipping of japanese/korean fatshaming culture is absolutely disgusting. "Ya know, in Japan they shame people who need to lose weight and everybody is skinny and healthy! I wish they did that in the US. I hate how I can't call out fatties for being too fucking fat".
Fuck OFF. Some people there need to take a fucking step back and look at the stats on which countries have the highest suicide rates and plastic surgery rates. You know why Japan and SK are near the top of both lists? It's at least in part because of their awful culture of shaming others for their appearance, and people basing their self worth on their looks. I'm so tired of westerners on that sub whining about how they want to harass fat people and justifying it because "it's normal in Japan and SK". No. It might be "normal" there, but that doesn't mean it's not an issue.
I'm 1/2 Japanese, I've grown up there for the most part. I have never been over a BMI of 19, yet my relatives there always find some way to tell me that I'm fat and need to be losing weight. I largely attribute developing an ED to it.
Can people just mind their own fucking business? Can we just not make comments about the weight of other people? Jesus fucking Christ
And this is only one of MANY issues I have with that awful sub
Edit: of fucking course I got a PM saying āshut the fuck up you fat cuntā ... never change r/fatlogic
Hurt my ankle so I canāt walk/exercise much
/u/xxxanon1117
Created: Wed Feb 7 21:17:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w28w4/hurt_my_ankle_so_i_cant_walkexercise_much/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] You know you have a problem when..
/u/namelessgia
Created: Wed Feb 7 21:01:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w25rx/you_know_you_have_a_problem_when/
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You leave the house with intent to walk to the bus stop and run an errand, but instead ditch the errand and walk 5 and a half kilometres after fasting for 45 hours.
Happy birthday to me ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
[Help] Science behind alcohol calories? Why aren't all alcoholics fat?
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 156 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 21:01:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w25pz/science_behind_alcohol_calories_why_arent_all/
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I have always felt like alcohol calories affect me less than food calories. I have some drunkorexic tendencies, and I have gone through periods where I am eating 600 calories and drinking 600 calories (a bottle of wine or a little less) for a total of 1200/day, yet I continue to lose as if I were eating maybe 800 cal/day.
Furthermore, if a calorie is a calorie, why aren't alcoholics all overweight?! I had a roommate who had an alcohol problem. At her worst, she was drinking a minimum of two bottles of wine a day/night (absolute minimum, I wouldn't be surprised if she drank more behind my back). That's 1200+ calories alone. She ate fairly normally...she definitely skipped meals because she was hungover, but in the evenings she would order take-out, eat a whole pizza, snack on chocolate, etc. She was around 5'5 and 120 pounds...fairly slim for her body type by normal people standards. HOW?!
Does anyone know the science behind this? Are alcohol calories different, period, or are both of these observations just related to malabsorption due to excess drinking? Anecdotal evidence from anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] Binged and also imposter syndrome
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 71 lbs | 13.4 | 9 lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Feb 7 20:11:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w1v8b/binged_and_also_imposter_syndrome/
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Ok, so first off, I had ~2000 cal today, 270 of which I burned. I'm really upset bc it's days before my birthday and I was hoping to be back down to 69 lbs by my birthday and I can't get away with low restricting.
Second off, I hate that people know about my ed, but not just for the obvious reasons. It gives me imposter syndrome. I HATE to eat in front of people who know (and people in general) bc real anorexics are supposed to have trouble eating and right now i dont. I feel like shit after, but the act of eating is easy. The worst is when people call me strong or say I'm doing a good job or that I look healthier or prettier. I have to say I want to recover to avoid going to the hospital, which means more people telling me how "proud" they are and pushing me to gain bc they think I want to "fully recover."
[Discussion] DAE find most foods to be bland?
/u/Chaiteathaichi
Created: Wed Feb 7 19:29:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w1lyy/dae_find_most_foods_to_be_bland/
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It just hit me today. Part of the reason I have such a low appetite is because lately food doesnāt even interest me when Iām eating it. When I eat l, food tastes really bland. I usually put tons of spice and salt in my food. Iām wondering if thatās just me or if maybe itās common in people with EDās?
[Rant/Rave] Swear to God, I almost died of a heart attack when I purged up BRIGHT RED bile. Forgot I ate sugar free popsicles right before.
/u/ignorado [š: ignorado]
Created: Wed Feb 7 19:07:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w1h0y/swear_to_god_i_almost_died_of_a_heart_attack_when/
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DUHH. Iām so stupid. For a good three minutes I was sure I was dying.
[Discussion] Instagram anorexic who used to put stickers on her posts and looked ready to croak... still alive?
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 117 | BMI 18.5?| -15 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 19:04:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w1gg8/instagram_anorexic_who_used_to_put_stickers_on/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I screwed up
/u/Timmymac23
Created: Wed Feb 7 18:53:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w1dxv/i_screwed_up/
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[removed]
[Tip] Anti-binging tip:
/u/rumble9
Created: Wed Feb 7 18:51:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w1dg2/antibinging_tip/
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Whenever you buy a new box of anything (Chips, cereal, or anything that is triggering), put each serving in a separate plastic baggie so that you know how much youāre eating & to prevent mindless eating out of a chip bag!
Iām preparing for a road trip tomorrow and literally just put an entire box of Cheez-its into separate baggies! š
[Rant/Rave] I'm disgusting
/u/VesselOfLucifier [4'10| CW: fat |UGW: 72lbs | 20F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 18:06:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w1391/im_disgusting/
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I've been binging *so much* lately... this is the third day of having 2000+ calories of chocolate. That's not even taking account of my regular meals!
I'm just so disgusting, pathetic, and *fat*. I'm just trying my hardest not to purge. I've gone almost two years without purging, and I don't want to fuck that up.
But at the same time, I feel like killing myself. I don't feel like cutting will do it this time. Just... *fuck*.
Rn I'm just looking at the Way To Go post and /r/eyebleach. If someone has an idea of distracting myself from these shitty thoughts please post it. As long as it doesn't involve talking to someone. Talking to people doesn't help me.
[Rant/Rave] Sugar free Jell-O changed the game
/u/jasper1796 [5'5 | CW: 112 | 18.6 | GW: 102 ]
Created: Wed Feb 7 17:53:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w10b4/sugar_free_jello_changed_the_game/
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I've only discovered sugar free Jell-O in the past month and oh my god..... it's helping me with my sweet tooth so much. After I have a savoury dinner I always crave something sweet which was a problem before but you seriously can't beat 5cals a cup to kill that craving š
also if you have any other sweet tooth fixes feel free to share!
(On mobile so flair as other/discussion??)
[Help] Salad Calorie Estimate
/u/lotsofquestions17
Created: Wed Feb 7 17:43:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w0xv1/salad_calorie_estimate/
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Hey guys. Thank you in advance for this. Iām having trouble with the caloric estimate for a salad. Iām really worried about underestimating the numbers, so is there any way that you guys could help me guesstimate it?
Southwest Sombrero
Ancho-grilled chicken breast, black beans, avocado, fried jalapeƱo coins, red peppers, onions, roasted corn, lime and cilantro on mixed greens. Adorned with a Cheddar and jalapeƱo-spread tostada and creamy salsa-ranch dressing on the side. (Listed as 780 calories on the website, NOT including dressing.)
I didnāt eat the ranch, chicken breast, and tostada for obvious reasons. I caved on the fried coins :(
These pictures are here for reference. My issue is estimating the tostada and chicken calorie count so that I can subtract it. The ranch was never included to begin with.
Hereās the salad WITH the chicken, for reference:
[Red Robin (full) Salad](https://imgur.com/gallery/LOTXT)
Hereās mine:
[My Salad (no chicken)](https://imgur.com/gallery/yWtEf)
And hereās the tostada, with a normal butter knife for size reference:
[Tostada (knife for size reference)](https://imgur.com/gallery/faaIq)
Thank you SO much !!
[Discussion] AppTrim supplements
/u/hollyhock_MMGRZHFM
Created: Wed Feb 7 17:20:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w0sff/apptrim_supplements/
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[removed]
[Help] How legit is the fitbit calorie tracker
/u/Tahylika
Created: Wed Feb 7 17:13:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w0qum/how_legit_is_the_fitbit_calorie_tracker/
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Okay so Iāve got my Fitbit Charge 2 for like 1 week now and I love it. But I am so scared of the calorie tracker, cause it often seems too good to be real. My TDEE is around 1400 kcal, and today It says Iāve burned 2400 total. That means Iāve worked out for 1000 kcal??? I did walk 16 k steps and run like 4 km but 1k kcal is just... extremely much. Anyone knows how much I can trust it?
Edit: canāt flair on phone. I think.
[Rant/Rave] In plateau hell, since August. I hate PCOS.
/u/bunkinpumpkin [5'7" | CW: 133lbs | BMI: 21.1 | -12.5 | GW: 125lbs]
Created: Wed Feb 7 17:04:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w0oq8/in_plateau_hell_since_august_i_hate_pcos/
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https://i.redd.it/jcw6nkvfrve01.png
[Rant/Rave] I feel so empty
/u/vulturepants [5'5 | SW: 175 | CW: still too much | GW: 120]
Created: Wed Feb 7 17:00:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w0nuw/i_feel_so_empty/
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i hate that all anyone sees when they look at me is a disgusting blubbery whale. i hate that i come across as a fat slob whenever anyone sees me eating, even if it's something healthy. i hate that i look pathetic when i exercise and people laugh about the ugly fat girl thinking she can do anything physical. i hate that i have let myself get this bad. all i want is so be skinny. for once in my life. i'm 21 and have never had a boyfriend because i'm so disgustingly fat and ugly and even in college i still face relentless bullying, more in the form of snide comments but it still hurts. i've never felt feminine in my life, i've always been a huge manly hulking monster compared to other small dainty girls. i fucking hate everything about the way i look and there's not a single thing i wouldn't change. i hate myself so much.
[Discussion] Sabotaging friends who are on weight loss journeys.
/u/losemore [5ā9.5 | -40lb | 21F | UGW 100lbs ]
Created: Wed Feb 7 16:59:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w0nmk/sabotaging_friends_who_are_on_weight_loss_journeys/
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One of my friends has started working out and eating clean and sheās lost 11kgs in the past few months because of it, and then thereās me constantly stuck in a cycle of restricting and bingeing and losing and gaining the same 2-3kgs.
We live in different cities but sometimes I think about making her food absolutely laden with butter and oil and giving it to her. I feel absolutely HORRIBLE that I even have this thought. Does anybody else think like this sometimes?
[Other] Just some reminders
/u/flowerxng [5'5.5''| cw: 102 | i just wanted to be happy]
Created: Wed Feb 7 16:58:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w0na7/just_some_reminders/
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Because I might need these too for the next few days.
Failing to hit your calorie goal doesn't mean you are fat.
Failing a test doesn't mean you are stupid.
Failing to find a job doesn't mean you are worthless.
You aren't alone. Everyone fails at something in life, but that doesn't mean we are all failures. We're just living in reality.
[Goal] Ladies and gentlemen I have tried to stop being proed and went after veganism
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 7 16:36:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w0i1c/ladies_and_gentlemen_i_have_tried_to_stop_being/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w0i1c/ladies_and_gentlemen_i_have_tried_to_stop_being/
[Rant/Rave] Anyone love making new rules for themselves and their food?
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Wed Feb 7 16:18:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w0dj0/anyone_love_making_new_rules_for_themselves_and/
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My mom is visiting and it was my birthday yesterday. Basically Iāve been eating crap from Sunday to Tuesday and am up 6 lbs.
Now that my birthday is over and Iām no longer letting myself eat what I desperately want, Iām starting over with new rules and New foods Iām not allowed to eat.
So far Iāve only had 150 cal worth of veggies and watermelon and I love feeling control again. New rules always feel so good. Iām determined to feel empty again.
Feeling bloated and squishy and out of control these last few days has been awful.
[Help] Timing laxatives around medication?
/u/hiveraete
Created: Wed Feb 7 16:14:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w0cq5/timing_laxatives_around_medication/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Vitamins/supplements
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 15:50:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w06m2/vitaminssupplements/
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For those who started supplementing with vitamins etc., how long did it take for you to notice it helped with cravings/bingeing? (If it did)
I'm bulimic but I have literally run out of money, and so I'm really trying to stop binging...
[Rant/Rave] I am fat and unsobered. SEVEN years and I am trapped.
/u/spiNACHOcolate [Height:1m70 | CW:53kg | HW:69kg | GW:50kg | F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 15:50:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w06kb/i_am_fat_and_unsobered_seven_years_and_i_am/
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So essentially, I just really fancied a gin and tonic. It's been a while and it's my favourite drink. But as we all know, with little eating follows little tolerance for alcohol, so instead of ranting on my Snapchat where people know who I am and will question me, I reckon ranting here is okay before i head to bed.
So. I am quite fat and ugly. I have always been a perfectionist and have never really accepted myself because nobody else seems to accept me.
Soon I turn 21 which is a huge deal where I am, but nobody really cares. Nobody cared for my 18th, so why should they care for my 21st. It seems that everyone has friends who make a huuuuge fuss out of birthdays, but not even my parents are going to make the effort to travel the ONE HOUR to my university town to take me for a cup of tea.
In fact, my parents have said that I am such a disappointment that there is no point in celebrating my birth. Also I wouldn't want to go out to eat with them because eating carries with it so much anxiety which would make for an even less pleasant birthday.
I have recent dropped back to underweight but I still think I'm fat. None of my clothes are fitting. I faint. My chest hurts. I can't sleep. All I think about is [university subject] and food. I simply don't know what to do - I desperately want to be both normal AND skinnier.
People know I do this, but I'm too reserves to admit how bad I am becse I am petrified. I cannot be satisfied. Sometimes all I want to do is ea t - I used to bake AMAZING bread, lie totally incredible flavours and aromas, but now I can't. I used to drink wine, now I drink only gin (not complaining, it's my fave alcohol but wine is a better option at dinners!). I used to enjoy hot chocolate and now I panic over the 40 calorie sachets.
To my peers I seem to calm and collected about my disorder, like I know how to handle it but aim out of control! I don't want to do this anymore. I need help. I have been struggling for seven years of my like ad i feel so so trapped. What is it like to be free? I feel like i will be another eating disorder death statistic.
Is there anybody out there who can help me. I don't want this. I can't have it. Someone make this STOP.
Sorry i rant, bu t gin.
[Other] Thought this was funny
/u/aristocat2 [172 cm | 58 kg | BMI 19.7 | 10 kg | Female]
Created: Wed Feb 7 15:48:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7w0646/thought_this_was_funny/
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I have been off the radar to my parents regarding weightloss since I gained 2 kgs. But out of old habit I lie about anything health/fitnessy to them.
So when I had gotten a Polar heart sensor, and mom walked in on me when I was testing my resting heart rate. I didn't tell her about what I was doing I was just laying there as still as I could. She thought I was stoned and left
[Goal] If I can make it through this day, it'll have been a week since my last binge. I don't think I've ever done that before.
/u/bodeciabb
Created: Wed Feb 7 14:56:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vzsrf/if_i_can_make_it_through_this_day_itll_have_been/
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My stats for reference: 5'6 | HW 210 | CW 164 | GW1 154.8 | UGW when I finally love myself
I've been restricting pretty high lately. I tried to go through January at only 100 cal/day, since I had a lot of food-centric events I had to attend, but honestly it just led to more binges. I think I maybe lost 5 lb.
So for February I'm restricting at a max of 400 cal/day, which after January makes every day feel like a binge lol. But it makes things so much easier. I do OMAD at night around 8 or 9, and I drink a shit ton of Diet Coke and chew sugarless gum to keep me by.
It's been nearly a week since my last binge.. I almost went insane yesterday though, haha. I was getting ready to eat everything in my pantry, and I had already decided to go out and buy a ton of fast food to binge on. I even went to this site [shouldidoit.com](shouldidoit.com), which gave me a yes and "validated" my decision, by my dumbass logic. As an aside, I just love going through all the weird questions people will anonymously ask, haha.
Luckily though, I burned the food I was cooking, so I only nibbled on about 100 out of the 600 cals of that, and then I cooked one of those microwaveable mac n cheese bowls (220) with some turkey pepperoni (~40), and I didn't even finish that. But I did eat an entire pack of peanut butter crackers (190). So my estimated count for yesterday ended up being ~530 instead of my planned 2500.
At this point, I'm less than 10 lb away from my first GW, which is just to be in a healthy weight range. But even though I've lost so much, somehow I'm even more critical of my appearance than at my HW?? wtf brain. Like I don't wanna see anyone bc I don't want to "subject" them to my presence lol. I feel trapped in my own bedroom when I hear my roommates out in the common room bc they're beautiful, outgoing sorority girls bc God hates me. But not nearly as much as I hate myself!! :)
[Rant/Rave] Dealing with unexpected muscle gain
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 71 lbs | 13.4 | 9 lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Feb 7 14:37:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vznqr/dealing_with_unexpected_muscle_gain/
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[removed]
[Other] What supplements/multivitamins do you guys take?
/u/VolantVelociraptor [5'2" | 112.4| GW 100 | 20.9 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 14:31:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vzm42/what_supplementsmultivitamins_do_you_guys_take/
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Bonus points if theyāre available on Amazon since leaving the house requires pants. Or if theyāre cheap.
[Discussion] restricted ābingesā?
/u/fig-illann
Created: Wed Feb 7 14:20:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vzj0o/restricted_binges/
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ey i got a can of baked beans n some takis. around 800cal. thisāll (knock on wood) be my total cals for the day.
i think i classify this as a binge because the desire to eat atm comes from negative emotions and its not food i would eat while restricting normally.
does anyone else do this? ive heard some people talk about āplanned bingingā but i dont know if this is that
[Goal] Day 7 of a long-term fast. Here are my thoughts.
/u/imperfectcontrol [5'6" | CW: 115 | 18.56 | UGW: 90 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 13:51:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vzb4w/day_7_of_a_longterm_fast_here_are_my_thoughts/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Managed my first ever fast
/u/ImNotaTreeImaShrub [5'5" CW:190lbs (-5) LW 115lbs | GW 130 lbs | UGW 115lbs | 32F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 13:45:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vz9jf/managed_my_first_ever_fast/
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Ive had my ED on and off for at least 12 years now, and even when I was down to my lowest weight, and restricting really hard I still never managed to fast. However now that Iām at my highest ever weight (after a horrendous bout of binge eating that lasted over a year) Iāve just done a whole day without food. Itās nearly 9pm here in the UK and I feel okay. Iāve been drinking water and herbal tea, and Iām surprisingly not hungry. Iām guessing itās because I have so much fat for my body to burn lol fml
[Discussion] Happy Scale app!
/u/rumble9
Created: Wed Feb 7 13:39:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vz7wv/happy_scale_app/
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This is my first post on here, but yesterday I discovered an app called Happy Scale and you basically enter your weight every day (same time of the day) and itāll give you a summary prediction of what your actual weight is.
With us females, our weights can fluctuate A LOT so Iām excited to see if this app can help!
Please feel free to give feedback if youāve used this app before and if you like it or not!
[Rant/Rave] Accountability
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 13:38:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vz7r6/accountability/
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[removed]
2pint of B&Jās and more worth of binging ...
/u/blingbling-bitch
Created: Wed Feb 7 13:38:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vz7li/2pint_of_bjs_and_more_worth_of_binging/
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[removed]
Anyone on a liquid fast for the week leading to VDay?
/u/Aprikoosi_flex [5'9" | cw 127 | gw 117 | ugw 110 | 25Fš]
Created: Wed Feb 7 13:19:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vz2g7/anyone_on_a_liquid_fast_for_the_week_leading_to/
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[removed]
[Help] Appointment for Evaluation / Screening on Tuesday
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW 116? | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Wed Feb 7 13:06:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vyyrm/appointment_for_evaluation_screening_on_tuesday/
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Hey everyone... I've been gone a while. Wish I could say I was getting my life on track after my move but actually I've just been falling apart. The binging / purging to fasting cycles have been becoming the norm--to the point I can't really eat normally any more. The handful of people in my life have been urging me to get help, and I've been largely dragging my feet for a multitude of reasons. But, after a particularly rough binge and the realization that I've misused laxatives (not to even count how many times I've purged or just sat with the binge) 27 times in the last two and a half months, I realized that it's actually a pretty big issue..
I agreed to schedule an appointment with the health center on campus, but continually found reasons to put it off. The most prominent of which are fear that I'll never actually get better, fear that I'll set myself further back in life than I already am by taking the time to pursue recovery, fear of financials, fear that they wouldn't take me seriously, etc.
So, in an effort to push myself into getting the courage to make the appointment (which if I'm being wholly honest is more towards addressing the binging than anything else.. I can handle the long-term restricting, but the binge cycles are killing me) I starting reaching out to people who are close to me who were less in the know, trying to get as many opinions as possible.
My dad's was probably the most metered of all, saying I should go to an appointment and see what they had to say, but don't feel pressured to commit to anything. But my recently-acquired best friend pushed me over the edge by offering to go with me (Which nobody else has the ability to do since I moved). I feel super guilty involving her, and I'm still overwhelmingly nervous and scared, but at least now I won't be alone.
The health center here isn't equipped to deal with active eating disorders, just people in remission. So my current understanding is that after this evaluation or whatever it is, they'll outsource me somewhere and I'll have to deal with that. I have mixed feelings and fear about the possibility that they'll want to put me in inpatient, but I don't really know enough to know what's going to happen. And like, I want to be open and honest and get help and get better and not hate my body for the first time since I was 10, but I don't know how that's even possible. And frankly when it ends up that the appointment rolls around and they find out I haven't eaten in 9 days because I'm too scared I'll binge, I can't imagine they'll be too happy with me making my own decisions.
I dunno.
Anyway, if any of you have anything to offer with regards to what I can expect, or what recovery actually looks like from the medical (or your personal) standpoint, I'd really appreciate it.
[Rant/Rave] Heaviest in the family. Binged to cope with it.
/u/Irlfarz
Created: Wed Feb 7 12:47:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vytou/heaviest_in_the_family_binged_to_cope_with_it/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone have suggestions for heart rate monitors?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 12:46:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vytgg/does_anyone_have_suggestions_for_heart_rate/
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I know this isnāt quite the place for it but I feel like if I ask anywhere else, people will notice I post here and get angry... so does anyone have suggestions for accurate heart rate monitors that arenāt too expensive? I use my heart rate to calculate calories burned from exercise but Iām always worried that Iām getting a wrong number because it always seems so high.
Fortisip causing skin issues.
/u/Motleycat
Created: Wed Feb 7 11:59:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vyg7b/fortisip_causing_skin_issues/
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Hiya, Since being on fortisip (twice a day) my skin is starting to get really spotty with pimples and acne, I don't know if it due to dairy or the shock of nutrients lol. Has anyone else had similar issues?
[Rant/Rave] Didn't get the job i really wanted so i guess its time to binge my sadness away (even tho i know i'll only feel guilty afterwards lol fml)
/u/slimynoodles [152cm | CW Blobfish | GW 41kg | BMI 23.19| -18kg lost | 21 f]
Created: Wed Feb 7 11:59:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vyg1y/didnt_get_the_job_i_really_wanted_so_i_guess_its/
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It's 6:54pm right now and i got an email saying i didn't get through the testing round yaaaaaaaaaaay!
Time to die i guess!
Haha just kidding guys i'm just gonna go ahead and binge away all my hard work :))))
[Discussion] I got put on meds and I feel awful about it.
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2" | 116 lbs | -19 lbs | GW: 109 lbs]
Created: Wed Feb 7 11:43:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vybib/i_got_put_on_meds_and_i_feel_awful_about_it/
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Hey all, so yesterday I was prescribed Remeron (which can fucking make me fat) and Klonopin for anxiety and depression. I was reading about them online and automatically felt sick to my stomach. I can actually kill myself with klonopin and alcohol. I just kind of broke down in the car. Just thinking about taking meds for god knows how long is making me feel more fucking depressed and hopeless. Iām also seeing a therapist and he agreed I needed meds and that they will help me. Iām almost 30 and have been depressed pretty much all my life. I never accomplished anything, I feel like a fucking burden all the time, and now Iāll be taking these things especially klonopin thatās highly addictive. I tend to have a problem with getting addicted to things and Iām absolute terrified of even taking one of those damned things.
I feel like a hopeless fucking burden to everyone around me and I just want to off myself. Iām sorry if this has nothing to do with food but I feel like you guys can understand how I feel. I canāt talk to anyone because I donāt want to worry them nor will they be able to relate to me. For the last 2 days Iāve felt nothing but sadness and anger, nothing has put a smile on my face and I canāt remember the last time I laughed. Iām sick of existing this way. Iām sick of being me. I wish I was a normal, happy person.
I canāt help but to feel resentment towards my parents. They knew I needed help and they knew I āwasnāt a normal kidā. Even after finding alcohol bottles stashed in my room, problems with authority, self-harm, eating disorder, sexual abuse, they did absolutely nothing to help me. I feel like if I was helped at a younger age, it would have never gotten to this point. Now that Iām older I know how to hide my feeling better as to not āworryā them or āstartā anything with my bf. I have to right? Thatās the fucking adult thing to do. I hate what I am.
[Discussion] Does anyone else scroll down skinny girl's instagram pages to see if they used to be bigger?
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | SW: 163lbs | CW: 142lbs | GW: 130lbs (for now) | 19/F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 11:04:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vy0q9/does_anyone_else_scroll_down_skinny_girls/
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It's become a weird hobby of mine. Every time I find a really thin girl's instagram page (whether it's someone I know irl or an IG model) I'll scroll down to years ago to see if they were ever bigger. Sometimes I'll even take screenshots of old pictures and screenshots of new ones to compare their weights.
Why am I like this.
[Help] I think I may be developing an eating disorder.
/u/blue_nous
Created: Wed Feb 7 10:32:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vxrm1/i_think_i_may_be_developing_an_eating_disorder/
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I'm not asking to be diagnosed, as I know that only a professional can diagnose this. I just don't know what to do and I'm really scared and I wanted to know if these seem like early signs of an ED. If this isn't the right place to post, please LMK and I will move this post to the proper sub.
My BMI is around 21, but I haven't weighed myself in a while so I'm just estimating. I was really active when I was younger up to my junior year of HS. I did sports in school and in the summer (soccer, basketball, tennis, cross country), and weightlifted as well for a year or so. I loved exercise and my body looked and felt amazing. My parents cooked healthy meals too, for the most part.
But my sophomore year, I suddenly developed exercise induced asthma. It got worse as I aged, and I quit sports my senior year because it got so terrible and annoying (and I wanted to have more free time for my final year of HS). So I lost my toned muscles.
I tend to obsess over flaws on my body, such as moles and clogged pores. Recently it's been my body. My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago, and I've been fixating on my figure ever since, and how wide I look in photos. I don't like my cellulite and tummy. I don't like my double chin. I've been calorie counting lately but stopping because it bothers me. And since I work 8 hour shifts 5x a week (plus college) it's convenient for me to grab fast food. This makes me hate myself even more.
And my manager told me my face has been looking thinner lately which made me stop. I've made progress to the point I wanna get to, but I still wanna go further. I find myself weirdly comforted by hunger and it freaks me out. I know my tummy pouch looks like that because there's no food in it, or just my organs.
The worst part is that my fears of being overweight have substance. At my peak fitness, with a healthy diet, I had abnormally high cholesterol (I had blood drawn for Accutane monthly, which is how I knew). My dad is obese too, since his late 20's, as well as his sister and mother (both sweet but both short and very, very round). And I'm terrified of reaching that point if it's in my genes too. I'm so scared, I don't know what's wrong with me...
Sorry for the long post, I just needed to organize my thoughts.
[Tip] Reducing food waste/guilt.
/u/uforgan
Created: Wed Feb 7 09:55:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vxhgh/reducing_food_wasteguilt/
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I've started putting the food I can't eat in a bag to give to the homeless each week. It makes me feel less bad about buying food that I don't eat, or being given food I don't/wont/can't eat.
For example, my family often give me veggie meals when they see me, which makes me feel bad about not eating it and makes my reaction less honest. Since I've been giving the food to people who need it, I've felt genuinely happy at their offerings and don't end up binging on food I don't like but have around.
[If you live in a cold area, heating up the food before giving it away makes a big difference.]
[Rant/Rave] Sneaking in my own cinema food
/u/Dumbledickhead [5'5 | CW 119 lbs | GW 90 lbs]
Created: Wed Feb 7 09:51:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vxg9s/sneaking_in_my_own_cinema_food/
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So today I was really good. Worked off 600 calories at the gym. 800 as my intake. Ate so healthy and clean today. And then my boyfriend tells me were going watching coco at the cinema. And now I love salted popcorn and nachos and salsa. So I know I'll cave. So I checked their nutritional information online and there nachos and salsa have 500 odd calories, their popcorn coming up at nearly 400! So I have pre made a little lunch box with portioned out nachos salsa and a little homemade guacamole and a small paper bag of popcorn, totalling at 260 calories, and ill treat myself to a diet coke whilst there. I was so shocked at how bad their food is there. How is it even so much??
I can work off the extra intake tomorrow. But that was a close one, guys!
[Discussion] Chewing nail alternatives
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 09:13:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vx5zr/chewing_nail_alternatives/
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So due to a recent massive influx of stress in my life I have begun chewing my nails again, a habit I kicked years ago. Except in the course if a couple days I chewed them down so far they are bleeding. So now I am trying to find something to nervously chew in place of myself.
Picked up gum, forgetting that gum makes me bloated. Anyone have any grand ideas???
[Other] Thought yall might like this... Omad idea anyone?
/u/pedaling-backwards [5ā2 | cw: 106 | gw1: 100 | š pedalingbackwards]
Created: Wed Feb 7 09:09:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vx4v2/thought_yall_might_like_this_omad_idea_anyone/
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https://imgur.com/a/jjET0
[Rant/Rave] ex best friends are great motivation
/u/coconutbusiness
Created: Wed Feb 7 09:03:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vx336/ex_best_friends_are_great_motivation/
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Long story short: I was best friends with this girl since grade 7 and then when I broke up with my boyfriend in university, she sided with him and took all the childhood, mutual friends with her. I had no support from anyone at the time.
Fast forward 3 years.
I have her on myfitnesspal and I was looking at my friend list today and noticed she has lost double the amount of weight that I have. Our entire friendship, she always compared herself to me and was openly jealous whenever guys showed me any attention.
I haven't seen her in a couple years and I have no social media other than reddit, but I'm extremely motivated to get thin and randomly run into her one day now.
Needed to write that pettiness out lol
[Rant/Rave] Having a very narrow range of "OK" - rant
/u/antelsa [5'11" | F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 08:39:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vwwx0/having_a_very_narrow_range_of_ok_rant/
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I am doing relatively OK with my ED. Compared to last year when I was lethargic and sick all the time, I am much more healthy and energetic, even maintaining my weight (within some minor fluctuations).
But anything more than 1-2 pounds lower than I am now makes me feel like Gollum who just crawled out of a cave and makes my bones hurt, where anything 1-2 pounds higher makes me feel like a landwhale. I am OK with my body now but I feel like it will always take constant vigilance to keep being OK with it.
This kind of reminds me of the hedonic treadmill.
"The hedonic treadmill, also known as hedonic adaptation, is the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes."
I feel like the same thing happens to my weight. No matter if it's high or low, after a certain amount of time it will just feel "normal". Feelings of "fat" and "thin" are based on my "normal", not objective measures, so it feels like I will always feel "fat" sometimes due to bloating/larger meals/etc no matter what I weigh. I wonder if I will be like this my whole life. Probably.
[Other] Where do you find the best depression/ED memes?
/u/Hiiir
Created: Wed Feb 7 08:38:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vwwjp/where_do_you_find_the_best_depressioned_memes/
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Sorry if this is off topic - BUT I couldn't think of a better place to ask this really!
For me depression and suicide memes are the best coping method because they feel relatable and that gives me strength knowing I'm not alone and that other people are out there thinking the same thoughts, plus humour is definitely healthy! I browse ProEDmemes almost every day, but what are the other sources?? I used to follow a lot of depression meme pages on facebook, but now almost all of them have become inactive. Same for tumblr. Do you know of any more active, newer pages?
[Other] For anyone in the UK, I found some AMAZING new low-cal super filling/healthy salad bowls and wanted to let you guys know if you weren't aware!
/u/creedbrattonage30 [5'0 | CW 1--? | GW 90 | H/L 145/82 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 08:36:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vww1v/for_anyone_in_the_uk_i_found_some_amazing_new/
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Apologies if everyone already knows about this or doesn't care, but I went into Tesco yesterday and saw some new products by 'Wicked Kitchen' which are large salad bowls full of veggies and healthy stuff (I believe they are vegan) and the one I just ate was only 277 calories for the entire thing, but I feel totally full! This is so rare for me and I'm excited about it but I feel like it would be weird to enthuse to my non-ED friends lol.
*edit - Oo it's my cake day. Ironic? Haha
[Discussion] Bronkaid on an empty stomach?
/u/fatty_mayonaise [5'7'' | jabba | GW 112 | -9 | 29F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 08:12:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vwpwo/bronkaid_on_an_empty_stomach/
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I was STARVING when I woke up this morning, but I needed to get some stuff done before I had a chance to cook myself breakfast. I took a bronkaid about 45 minutes ago with a cup of tea and started home to make breakfast. About 10 minutes ago I started to feel really queasy and... not right. I'm slowly eating a rice cake now and starting to feel a bit better, but is this the normal reaction to taking bronkaid on an empty stomach? I usually take it at the end of breakfast, but I didn't trust myself to do that today since I was so hungry I didn't think I'd make it through breakfast prep without binging.
[Help] Well I got the call
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 111 | 20.3 | -24 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 07:51:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vwkrx/well_i_got_the_call/
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I start treatment next Friday. I feel like I'm going to cry. I don't think I can deal with actually facing everything.
[Discussion] I am a baker/pastry chef, AMA!
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Wed Feb 7 07:08:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vwb4o/i_am_a_bakerpastry_chef_ama/
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Hello friends!
Recently I commented on another persons post about being a baker/pastry chef. It seems like folks have some questions so Iām posting here so you can ask them.
About me: I have been everything from a dishwasher to an assistant pastry chef (AKA sous chef). I have had an ED for around 10 years, mia in the early stages, then ana, then ortho. Currently pseudo recovered with ortho tendencies.
Feel free to AMA...wanna know how to become a baker? What is being a pastry chef like? How does home baking translate to commercial baking? How does being a chef interact with my ED? Do I have any cooking tips?
Fellow pastry people, feel free to also answer peoples questions with your experiences/input!
[Discussion] February 7th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 05:29:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vvr7z/february_7th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What are 3 things you have to buy?
[Discussion] Insomnia + counting calories. When do you change days, weigh self, etc?
/u/manateens [5'4 20F | 154 / UGW 98 | BMI27]
Created: Wed Feb 7 05:20:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vvpq1/insomnia_counting_calories_when_do_you_change/
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I have really bad sleeping problems lately - I stay up 2-3 days (am fully functional!) , sleep for 12ish hours, repeat. However I have no idea when to start my days over. I chose 6AM for today and I guess we'll just have to see how that goes? Maybe IF could help but I could unintentionally end up fasting if my 12-14hour sleep covers it. Just curious what others do.
And I like to weigh myself daily, but I don't know how accurate it can be since I drink water/tea pretty constantly :( Any ideas are helpful.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 07, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Feb 7 05:12:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vvobp/daily_food_diary_february_07_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 07, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday February 07, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Feb 7 05:11:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vvo5k/way_to_go_wednesday_february_07_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for February 07, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Riding that restriction high all the way to 76kg
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 03:34:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vv8b2/riding_that_restriction_high_all_the_way_to_76kg/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] the last pair (in size 0) were purchased while I was in the checkout stage..... noooooooo......... less than $8.......
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 123lbs | 19.2 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 03:24:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vv6rz/the_last_pair_in_size_0_were_purchased_while_i/
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https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/levis-501-ultra-high-rise-skinny-jeans12/?color=001&size=24
[Rant/Rave] I took a guess at my weight
/u/thegarden-lady
Created: Wed Feb 7 01:09:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vumvb/i_took_a_guess_at_my_weight/
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I havenāt been weighed in over a year, maybe two. I donāt have access to a scale, & I told myself it was just for protection from slipping back into old habits. Iāve been gaining weight but especially recently. I only fit into one pair of my jeans now- one of newer pairs that I bought because I no longer fit into my old ones.
I took a guess at my weight. Iād been looking at before/after progress pictures & decided on a weight (while considering the pictured personsā height), that I canāt stand to write down. I shouldnāt have done it but I figured out my BMI assuming I do weigh that much, & I just hit the overweight mark.
I feel really numb about it. Iām still not motivated to lose weight healthily or unhealthily. I keep torturing myself with thinspo to the point of tears. Iām the biggest Iāve ever been regardless of how much I actually weigh & I feel too stuck to do anything about it.
[Goal] [Goal] I'm no longer overweight!
/u/Deviiation [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 24.55 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Wed Feb 7 00:53:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vukhp/goal_im_no_longer_overweight/
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Yesterday I got below BMI 25 for the first time since halfway through last year. Yesterday was 24.81. Today is 24.55. I am so happy. I'm getting there at last.
[Help] Another tabata question...
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 7 00:52:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vuken/another_tabata_question/
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For those of you who do it, how do you calculate the calories? I just saw a website claiming a 320 calorie burn for 4 minutes of exercise which seems wrong, but Iām not sure I have a better way of estimating.
[Rant/Rave] Just kill me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 7 00:39:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vuiff/just_kill_me/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does binging/fasting over the course of 2 days make you physically look different or is it in my head?
/u/ballerina239
Created: Wed Feb 7 00:35:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vuhwz/does_bingingfasting_over_the_course_of_2_days/
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Itās like I can feel the fat from binging , and definitely the bloating
And I feel WAY skinnier when I fast
[Intro] Re-intro
/u/sighsless [5'6 | CW:128.4 | 20.81 | idk]
Created: Tue Feb 6 23:59:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vuc65/reintro/
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It's been almost a year since I finally made myself an account to post here. I had reddit before, but only lurked this sub, too afraid to post on my main. I never introduced myself here, though I've posted and commented a bit. I haven't been on here as much these past few months.
So, hi. I'm posting and introducing myself because I have a lot of self-hatred right now and I think I need the community. I'm a bit scared to share too much about myself online as previously some of my accounts were found by people I didn't want to find them, and I've had a stalker find many accounts as well.
Here's what I will say: I'm an adult who has a university degree, but now I'm living back with my parents working a shitty job unrelated to my degree. My other mental illnesses have affected my life negatively and taken me on a path I had never expected. I have general anxiety disorder, panic disorder, depression, borderline personality disorder, and recently diagnosed with ADHD. It has all been very treatment-resistant. I've tried so many meds and things that just didn't work, even after waiting it out. I've been hospitalized a few times because of my depression. I do not have any formal ED diagnosis.
About a year ago, when I finally made this account, I had been restricting for about a month. I had also ramped up my exercise. My psychiatrist and I had discussed how no medications had helped with my mood or depression or bpd. The only thing that helped were benzos for my anxiety, but I was still depressed. We decided to forego antidepressants and antipsychotics and such and instead try exercise. So, I began to exercise more.
Restricting and exercising more caused me to lose weight so much quicker. The last 6 or so years before that I had been overeating and zonked out on antipsychotics that caused me to sleep too much. The 6 or so years before THAT I was restricting and obsessively exercising.
So this past year was what I thought would be another 6 years of restrictive behaviour. Last year I got to a recent low weight (I think it's a bit lower than my current flair) and was excited about my body. Exercise somewhat helped my depression, but some days my hunger ruled me and made me unpleasant. Or I'd be crying because I would impulsively eat 2 granola bars which would fuck up my intake for the day.
Eventually I started to eat more. I think this coincided with getting more hours and less sleep from my shitty job. I wanted to be awake for work even though I hated work, but it was all I had.
Cut to now. I've gained a bit. Finally stepped on the scale after feeling the gain for a while and I'm 10 pounds heavier than my LW. 10 pounds is somehow both nothing and everything. I'm disappointed and relieved. Honestly, I thought I had gained so much more.
But I'm so uncomfortable. I feel the visceral fat gathering everywhere. I feel it especially on my jawline/neck, around my waist, and because my thighs have started to rub together again. I forgot how uncomfortable excess fat is. Not that I didn't have fat at my LW. What I mean is now I have so much more.
The problem is I've been impulsively eating daily. Even if I start a day off fine with a low cal but filling breakfast and dinner, I'll ruin it and keep making food for supper, eating until my stomach is uncomfortably full. Even if I skip breakfast and have a smoothie for lunch, dinner is a snack with a snack with a snack until it's all the snacks I have on hand. Even if I eat a huge breakfast, I still fill myself the rest of the day as if I've had nothing. It's frustrating.
This is all to say hi, I'm back here, I've missed you all, and I need to be here. I don't know who else to talk to. It's as if the body fat ice regained is throbbing to remind me it's there.
Has anyone had any similar experiences? Especially in terms of gaining after losing for so long?
Thanks to anyone that made it through this. Hope it isn't too rambly. I've had so much trouble writing these days.
xo
[Help] What does it mean if you start burping up vomit sometimes :/
/u/richnskinny [5ā8 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 23:44:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vu9pm/what_does_it_mean_if_you_start_burping_up_vomit/
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Not a lot but a little....
[Rant/Rave] W I N E B I N G E
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 6 23:30:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vu7dp/w_i_n_e_b_i_n_g_e/
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[deleted]
[Other] DAE browse fucked-up sexist subreddits looking for stuff like this to keep them from binging? :/
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 156 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 23:10:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vu3zq/dae_browse_fuckedup_sexist_subreddits_looking_for/
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https://i.redd.it/8w8pqnk1d5dz.png
[Rant/Rave] ONE week until Valentines Day šš¤¢š«
/u/pantsuo-haitemasen [170cm | 26F | CW: š·]
Created: Tue Feb 6 22:51:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vu0k5/one_week_until_valentines_day/
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Chocolates are my trigger food. There seem to be only one response when I'm around them: binge until I get sick. I don't keep any chocolates or chocolate flavoured items in my apartment for this reason.
Valentines Day has always been a challenging time for me, not just because my bf and I are not romantic like that, but since there are so many sales and advertisements around. I've already spotted some amazing deals for the sweet at my local grocers and it took a lot of strength to not fill my shopping basket to the brim. What's even worse is the day *after* Valentines, when the shops are trying to rid stock of chocolates!
It's not even a celebratory day; it just happens and then passes. I wish i could just eat a bit and feel satisfied, but this is never the case. The whole 'occasion' of showing your affection for a loved one by purchasing food is a fucking ordeal.
Does anyone else hate this stupid day?
[Rant/Rave] i think my brother has an ED, too, and i'm so jealous it hurts
/u/brontide-holophrasis [5'10" | cw: yikes | gw: 110 lbs | (ft)m]
Created: Tue Feb 6 20:45:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vtby4/i_think_my_brother_has_an_ed_too_and_im_so/
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first post here, I've been lurking off and on in comments and whatnot but there's no one else I can talk to about this. probably gonna be disjointed and erratic, sorry.
my older brother stopped eating lunch around middle school and still doesn't to this day (he's 20 now). I've counted up calories in what he eats, it's typically 1500 or less and his tdee is like 2800 with how much he works out. just tonight he spent two hours on the treadmill out in the garage.
he's always been the favorite and my mom always yells at me for eating too much and she's threatened to stop buying me food before and she didn't even notice when I lost 45 lbs in 3 months a few years ago. I brought it up with her once in an argument and she acted like I was lying about it.
sparing you all the boring full-length life history I'm frustrated that my mom doesn't seem to give a shit about me and is way more concerned about my brother and is gentle and loving about it with him but just screams at me for eating a pack of someone else's poptarts when she refuses to buy them for me and she's stopped buying diet soda bc aspartame causes cancer blah blah blah facebook is a reliable source for fear-mongering medical knowledge
none of this probably makes any sense haha I'm just worried-but-not-worried-enough about my BED turning into exercise-driven bulimia and I think I'm developing body dysmorphia to boot and my brother being 100-ish pounds lighter and 4-5 inches taller than me makes so irrationally angry especially bc I'm a trans guy and I envy his stupid natural born height and general masculinity and I kinda wanna kill myself lmao (don't worry I'm not actually going to do anything I'm just sad rn)
[Discussion] does anybody else count calories weekly instead of daily?
/u/proed-me [5'6 | 117 lbs| 18.9 | GW: 103]
Created: Tue Feb 6 20:25:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vt7l9/does_anybody_else_count_calories_weekly_instead/
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tbh it works way better for me, its way easier for me to not go on binge spirals if I can say "Oh you're only at 3000/5600 for the week, that's okay! you still have 2600 calories to split up for the next 4 days"
[Rant/Rave] I have NO clue what I'm doing wrong..
/u/bunkbedsex [5'3 | CW: 130? | UGW: 99 | add me on peach]
Created: Tue Feb 6 20:25:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vt7ia/i_have_no_clue_what_im_doing_wrong/
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This is clearly a rant, so I deeply apologize in advance but I needed to talk this out with *someone*.
I woke up Saturday morning and weighed in at 127. I felt ah-mazing but I knew it was just my morning lowest and that I might bloat up a little. I've been eating under 1200 calories a day and working out everyday, except Monday when I took a break.
I went to the gym today and weighed after my run.. at fucking 133 pounds. That's a 6 POUND DIFFERENCE. Like, what am I doing wrong? I use my fitness pal, I count calories from my pickle slices, pieces of gum, and mints, I work out 6 days a week.. I just have NO CLUE why I can't lose weight.
It's making me so depressed.
[Other] Recovery is worth it but
/u/Idunnoking [5ā1 | CW89.2| GW95 | 16FāØ]
Created: Tue Feb 6 19:41:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vsxev/recovery_is_worth_it_but/
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Rant/Help
I lost weight. I wasnāt trying this time and it was only a little bit but it was so terrifying to feel that fucked up feeling of satisfaction, to see the number go below 90 as if it was a sign that Iām āsickā now. Itās almost like thereās two parts of me, one so eager to get well and enjoy life again and this other part that is so sinister in its attempt to snuff that out before it becomes a reality. Itās like it wonāt stop unless Iām in a hospital bed, only then will it feel like enough BUT I know thatās not true but god am I tired of this all š does anybody have experience w getting treatment in Ontario by chance? I was wondering what itās like since maybe I might just finally fess up to my parents. Iām just really scared but I donāt feel like I can trust myself enough to do this on my own. If not, does anyone have any tips for holding myself accountable for eating? Thank you to those who reply, if you notice I may not reply to those who comment but itās mostly because Iām really anxious about it but I read them all and appreciate them dearly š in the short span that Iāve been posting Iāve received so much support and it rlly motivates me
[Rant/Rave] Day of why are these comments all happening at once!? Regular soda is healthy šš, you skinny bitch, and all your hair is falling out! Good stuffš
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Feb 6 18:56:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vsncl/day_of_why_are_these_comments_all_happening_at/
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Got in a debate with coworkers on how much healthier regular soda is over dietš. All because I had a diet soda. Leave me alone! Also no soda is healthy....stop trying to justify regular soda being okay(a cup of sugar)š let me drink my lack of calories in peace!
Teacher, started a new semester, another student told me when asked who they had for my subject, they replied.... āthat skinny bitchā madness ensued as i have a really good relationship with majority of my students and they were mad this was said. I brushed it off but it seemed harsh as I am always kind to and support everyone.
This at first made me feel bad, then good, then Iāve been sad all night I wasnāt called an āanorexic bitchā š I am literally anxious over this, why canāt I be thin enough.
Was also told my hair is thinning and I should get fun colored wigs š¤¦š»āāļø
Honestly donāt hate the fun wig idea ššš
Kill me now!
[Discussion] |Discussion/Advice| Experiences with RDN's or nutritional therapy?
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |104 | -116 | 20A]
Created: Tue Feb 6 18:49:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vsljv/discussionadvice_experiences_with_rdns_or/
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Hi all, how's it hanging? Quasi recovery sucks :)
I've just had an appt scheduled for some 'dietary therapy' next week and I have no idea what to expect.
I'm on the high end of an underweight BMI/haven't updated my stats since I'm fairly inactive, I'm now at 96.5lbs/ and want to get back into the triple digits since I feel like the living embodiment of a shit sandwich all of the time. I'm scared that they're automatically going to throw in a 500cal surplus to my intake to reach that goal quickly.
They asked me to track everything I eat/drink for two days before I go in/waaaaay ahead of them on that front, lol/
So I'm also freaked out about them judging my food choices as 'unhealthy' and starting with a nutritionally 'restrictive' yet high caloric meal plan. Food freedom is my ultimate goal, it would trigger and fuel my restrictive mindset to have to follow set rules on what to eat. I mean fuck, I'm already not eating enough, so if I want a bagel instead of an avocado shouldn't I be able to have it?
Anyway, tangent aside, I'm just curious about people's experiences and wanna prepare myself to the fullest.
Wishing you all well, miss this place/fuck ED. āØš
[Rant/Rave] Upset because I can't purge everything
/u/finnkat
Created: Tue Feb 6 18:27:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vsgwy/upset_because_i_cant_purge_everything/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Ughhh. It seems like whenever I say Iām going to do something, it automatically doesnāt happen.
/u/fragilmountain [5'7 | 238 | 36 | GW: 110]
Created: Tue Feb 6 18:16:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vseck/ughhh_it_seems_like_whenever_i_say_im_going_to_do/
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I knew I would be going out to eat tonight, and that it would be around 1400 calories. Which, while not ideal, is doable. My plan was to fast until dinner so I wouldnāt have to have any extra calories. And it DIDNāT HAPPEN. I got pizza and chips. Literally the worst meal, and an unnecessary 400 calories. And itās 100% my fault so thereās no one I can blame. Why do I always have to be so stupid? Iām thinking Iāll say the opposite of my goals from now on. So, no - I wonāt be fasting the rest of the week, I wonāt be at least 40 pounds down by June, of course not...
Does anyone else seem to have this problem?
[Rant/Rave] I lost 8 pounds last week...
/u/bby_gsta
Created: Tue Feb 6 17:57:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vs9t8/i_lost_8_pounds_last_week/
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[removed]
[Discussion] favorite bras for making boobs look bigger?
/u/z4ynmalik [5'3 | CW: 111 | GW: 95 š»]
Created: Tue Feb 6 17:25:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vs203/favorite_bras_for_making_boobs_look_bigger/
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I'm an A cup and I hate looking so flat chested especially when I'm wearing low cut dresses and date outfits in general.
[Thinspo] goals_irl
/u/fig-illann
Created: Tue Feb 6 16:47:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vrsmo/goals_irl/
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https://imgur.com/rNDTcVy
[Rant/Rave] Birthdays are the bane of my existence
/u/plantheadkade
Created: Tue Feb 6 16:34:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vrply/birthdays_are_the_bane_of_my_existence/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Tired.
/u/bbybluez
Created: Tue Feb 6 16:30:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vromp/tired/
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[removed]
[Other] Channel 4 tv program How to Lose Weight Well. Similar theme to Supersize vs Superskinny
/u/scrawny-cat [5' 6"|CW 121lb|BMI 19.61|GW 112lb|F32]
Created: Tue Feb 6 15:58:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vrgnp/channel_4_tv_program_how_to_lose_weight_well/
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Sorry in advance if this has already been posted. I did a quick search and couldn't see anything.
There's a program on at the moment called 'How to Loose Weight Well':
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/how-to-lose-weight-well
They have three pairs on people on each episode. They are test a different diet.
The first pair do a diet designed for a week (crashers), the second pair do one designed for month (shape shifters) the final pair do one designed for four months or for life (life changers).
Then the presenter a doctor tries out more dangerous or expensive weight loss stuff.
In today's episode, they did an experiment that shows why you metabolise alcohol before fat and sugar.
They also tested which foods are less likely to spike fat and sugar levels in your blood after drinking, so would be optimum for putting on less weight drinking. *spoilers: high protein meals*.
I had a feeling it was the type of thing you might all enjoy. I expect it's on YouTube or watchable via proxy if you're in the US.
[Discussion] Anyone else experience hunger differently after substantial weight loss?
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 112 | GW1: 110 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Tue Feb 6 15:50:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vrejw/anyone_else_experience_hunger_differently_after/
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I attempted recovery when I hit 90lbs and two years later and like 20lbs heavier (oh god) I find I don't really feel hungry the same way I did before. I don't get that gnawing empty feeling, but simply just tired, dizzy. A shakiness and head pressure after around 20hrs fasting.
Like I didn't really twig onto it until going away with some of the girls on my course and hearing them say how starving they were after a few hours and I'm just like, can't relate.
Thing is, this doesn't actually help me in restricting - I *miss* the empty feeling - never hungry, never satisfied. It doesn't give me anything to signal in doing good and it doesn't mean I dont ever get cravings.
Idk, before losing a dramatic amount of weight (20lbs in less than 3 months) and then regaining it I used to even get hunger pains, on the plus it's so easy to restrict now I've got the cravings mostly under control.
Anyone else experience a permanent change in hunger cues?
[Goal] Iām 40 hours into my 100 hour liquid only fast!
/u/IrritatedIntrovert
Created: Tue Feb 6 15:23:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vr7id/im_40_hours_into_my_100_hour_liquid_only_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Disproportionate Rant
/u/Satrina_petrova [H5'2|CW105lbs|GW101|29F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 14:54:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vqzks/disproportionate_rant/
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My body looks rediculous.
Hands and wrists are weak and skeletal.
No boobs.
Short square torso that belongs on someone 20lbs heavier and 2 inches shorter.
Thunder thighs I've had sense 13.
Knobby knees.
Tiny bird feet and ankles ( I actually don't hate those parts as much, but they're still practically useless )
I've been lifting and exercising recently to try and even things out. But I have no stamina and I can constantly hear/feel my joints grinding, specifically my shoulders, wrists, hips and knees. It sucks or maybe I just suck.
Rant over... thanks guys
[Rant/Rave] Obese ED girl actually works out for once!
/u/kimberlyjackson98 [5'4 | CW 223.8 lbs | 39.27| -7 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 14:49:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vqy7j/obese_ed_girl_actually_works_out_for_once/
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Hi, Iām obese and Iāve dealt with my ED all my life. Iāve looked to food as a comfort and escape since I was a little girl going through her parents divorce. I was the fat chubby younger sister who always had her cheeks squeezed and fat pinched. Iām the little sister who was always compared to her perfect older sister who got the āgood genesā and was always effortlessly skinny although we ate the same things.
Since I graduated high school and marching band and the swim team were no longer options for me Iāve had no constant physical activity. But working out was never my thing anyways. I loved the feeling of an empty stomach. Didnāt make a difference to my mom whether the āfat lardā ate at all, sheād pretend not to notice or sheād actually encourage me to fast. During the summer months we rarely ate we always juiced carrot juice with garlic and those were our meals.
Iām in college now and have a bf, Iāve bragged and ranted about him on here too. But this year I know I needed to make a conscious change in my lifestyle if I wanted to stop being the unhealthy fatty I am. So I stopped complaining. And Iām working towards my goal. I deleted the food delivery apps from my phone, I buy groceries and am trying to food prep. But today I took a big step (for me anyways š) and went to my schools fitness center.
I was scared. I had anxiety of being the biggest person there. And knowing how judgmental I am of my body, and other peopleās bodies I knew I was in for it. But I walked in, stepped on the elliptical and kept going. Maybe Iāll stop at 50 cals burned and leave.. but within the first 3 mins I was already at 20. So I kept on and before I knew it I was at 47 cals burned, time on the clock was 5:37secs. So I kept on and before I knew it I was at 75 cals burned!
Today I had a 15 min workout. First time I stepped in a gym since it was required and I left with 110 cals burned and I completed 1.5 miles. It was a baby step in the right direction but from all the endorphins Iāve been drowning in since my walk home, it has me addicted. Iām gonna do this. Iām finally gonna lose the weight.
Iām hoping with my walks home from school, meal prepping, and new visits to the gym will help me shed these ponds Iāve carried around all these years. Iāve never wanted to be skinny, just normal. And I hope by summer time Iād have the confidence to go to a beach and wear a bikini. I donāt hate my entire body, just how my gut protrudes the same amount as my ass and how my bra rolls resemble that of a can of pillsbury dough when you open it. If I can get rid of my gut and back fat Iāll be happy.
Sorry if this seems kinda sad of me, but I was really proud of myself. And I know the road from here on out will only get easier with each pound lost and stamina built. Thanks for reading this far š
[Discussion] DAE eat SUPER slow?
/u/ThisIsGumpy [Height 5'2| CW 108| GW 100]
Created: Tue Feb 6 14:23:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vqqox/dae_eat_super_slow/
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It usually takes me upwards of 45 mins to eat any meal. I noticed that I am always the last one done, and if I'm not I get upset. Anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] Life is miserable
/u/lazy1200
Created: Tue Feb 6 13:49:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vqh7m/life_is_miserable/
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# TW; binging and self-harm and mentions of suicidal thoughts/ self-hatred/meanspo-ish sry sry sry
Basically ending a ~2 month long binge session today. I self harmed for the first time in literally YEARS last night. I was rolling the idea of purchasing razor blades around in my head for days as like a threat to myself, *stop eating you fat filthy pig or youāre gonna have to slice up your arms*.
Well I bought them yesterday because a pack of 10 was so fucking cheap and the **urge** to cut was almost as bad as my binge urges. So I ate really well yesterday, had a Girl Scout cookie (~~yeah singular like not even that bad~~) and decided well shit, Iām a living, breathing pile of disgusting garbage. So I cut. A lot. Not as deep as I used to and not on my legs. My arms. My fucking arms. **The one place itās so hard for me to hide.** WHYDIDIDOTHAT?!
I donāt know, but itās done. And I figured, okay I got rid of the urge, I scratched that itch theoretically. Iām done now right?? *W R O N G.*
I want to do it again. Iām on my lunch break and Iām literally moments away from tossing the rest of my pineapple (^100 ^calories ) and driving to my house to cut again. I want it. I need it. I can tell this isnāt going to stop anytime soon. Iāve been wishing I was dead for so long but never had the courage or push to do anything. This scares me because it feels like that wall just crumbled a bit. The suicidal thoughts are becoming more realistic and feasible. And instead of being frightened, I was initially kind of excited. I felt nervous, but *giddy* when I opened the fresh pack of razors. I felt in control, I felt...good.
While weāre listing all my failures as a decent person, I also purged for the first time in like over a month yesterday. The Girl Scouts cookie came up at least. And I stopped taking my Zoloft. It made the binges so easy; I felt nothing while I stuffed thousands and thousands of calories down my gullet, but *more* hunger.
Anyway. I canāt tell anyone else in my life. Not even my best friend who also has an ED because she would string me the fuck up and likely attempt to contact someone to help me. But I donāt want help. I want to be skinny again. Skinnier than before. I want my self harm scars to cover up every inch of pale skin on my forearms and thighs. I want control, I want pain, I want death.
Iām sorry. To you, to my family, to my friends and myself. I failed. And I will fail again purposely, over & over. Because I donāt feel like I deserve to be happy. I never will.
[Discussion] is there an unsafe amount of yellow mustard?
/u/reallysmallsnail [5'7 | cw: 144 | gw: tiny | 22.5 | f |]
Created: Tue Feb 6 13:36:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vqdn9/is_there_an_unsafe_amount_of_yellow_mustard/
---
i could eat this whole bottle i think. bless this ~~meal replacement~~ condiment.
what are you all having for lunch today?
[Help] I just canāt anymore
/u/TryHarderBbe
Created: Tue Feb 6 13:32:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vqclx/i_just_cant_anymore/
---
When I look into the mirror I see fat. And acne. And fat. And ugly. Thin hair and more fat.
I just want to fucking stop. It all needs to stop. It hurts so much and I just donāt know what to do anymore.
I just want to be thin. Why is that so hard?
[Discussion] Literally, food phobia
/u/flowerxng [5'5.5''| cw: 102 | i just wanted to be happy]
Created: Tue Feb 6 13:25:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vqaow/literally_food_phobia/
---
It's not just about *eating* food or not...
I hate smelling "bad" food (i.e. unhealthy foods that I don't eat and haven't ate in years). I hate touching "bad" food. I hate when other people eat a doughnut then touch my stuff. It's like I have germophobia but with food. I know it's irrational, but I just want to distance myself from "bad" food.
Does anyone else have this problem?
[Rant/Rave] I miss my ED
/u/mixxvixxen
Created: Tue Feb 6 13:17:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vq8hb/i_miss_my_ed/
---
I donāt think Iāve ever posted here but often reply and upvote. Today I was finally signed off by psychiatry after 5 long years of treatment out of my 21 year long ED. I was referred when my ED behaviours caused me to lose a lot of weight and the high I felt when that magic number kept dropping was... ecstasy. I fucking miss it, I didnāt even want to recover and every single time I pull my jeans on or pass a mirror or see an empty plate of food, my heart just sinks. Whenever something hard comes my way, Iām devastated that I donāt have āat least I didnāt eat today/at least Iām below X lbs/at least my size X fit meā. I just donāt want to turn 30 this year and still be such a fucking mess but I canāt live without manipulating my relationship with food. Iām really struggling, can anyone relate? Or can you give me some tough love to get me back to myself? Much love.
[Rant/Rave] Blast from the past
/u/321Model
Created: Tue Feb 6 12:31:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vpvul/blast_from_the_past/
---
I had to take a new ID photo for work today. I looked in my wallet and found an ID I took 7 years ago. Damn. I was gorgeous. Of course, back then, I thought I was a heifer. Not at all, I was perfect. I wish I appreciated more of what I had back then. I made a lot of poor choices because I thought I didn't deserve better.
Now I'm 30 pounds heavier and have what seems to be a natural, sagging double chin. Ugh. I still have weight to lose, so I hope it tightens up.
My goal is to get back that woman I was. I wore my grandfather's cool leather jacket, rocked nice jewelry, was out of the house all the time, more social. I'm getting there, slowly but surely...
Try not to be so hard on yourselves. XO
[Rant/Rave] I hate the "THICC" trend
/u/delicatcerise [5'6| 114.2 | 18.4 | GW: idk | 24F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 12:00:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vpn06/i_hate_the_thicc_trend/
---
I feel like it's just another HAES/BOPO thing. The whole "Thick Thighs Save Lives" bullshit just grinds my gears. **I don't think anyone should be made to feel shitty about the body they're in no matter their size** (for obvious reasons) but can we please stop acting like being overweight is sooooo much healthier and preferable to being underweight???? 70% of adults in the US are overweight and 37% are obese. **People can be made aware that they're hurting their health without it automatically being "body-shaming".**
The thin aesthetic I'm aiming for isn't emaciated. But it might as well be to the THICC crew. Anything remotely slender is regarded as "the body of a little boy" and anyone who is attracted to that "must secretly be attracted to children". And that pisses me off too because they're so "body positive".
I'm sorry, I was just browsing instagram and the freaking comments on VSX workout videos were killing me. "Thicc" girls just trashing legitimate fitness models. Like, I get they're not shredded athletes, but commenting that they look "disgusting" and "have no ass" is just... sjkfdgjsldkroglUGH.
**Edit:** bolded the above statements bc this is in no way supposed to be shaming. I'm just tired of the fat-positive thin-shaming culture that we're currently balls deep in.
[Help] My BFF is getting married and asked me to be the maid of honor
/u/carbslut
Created: Tue Feb 6 11:31:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vpfds/my_bff_is_getting_married_and_asked_me_to_be_the/
---
To make it even worse, sheās Japanese. Iām a tall white girl. Iām definitely going to be the behemoth bridesmaid in a group of tiny Asians.
I wanted to say āSure Iāll be your MOH, but I wanna wear a shapeless tent dress and I wonāt be in any pictures.
I guess Iām not eating for the next year.
[Discussion] I'm doing my first 2-day fast.
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW: 160.6 | 21.31 | -15.4lbs | GW: 140 | 22/F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 11:15:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vpb11/im_doing_my_first_2day_fast/
---
[removed]
[Other] [Other] Update on the drink situation.
/u/Deviiation [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 24.55 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Tue Feb 6 11:03:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vp7go/other_update_on_the_drink_situation/
---
Well, I caved. It was the insomnia. I couldn't stand another sleepless night. I'd gone out meaning to go for a coffee, but I didn't want to be around coffee shop cakes (the smell is vile), so instead I bought two beers. "It's only beer", "it's only two", "two weak beers". I hope I can leave it at that, but I think I'll really have to tell a doctor. I can't stand this.
[Other] EC stacking question for experienced people/people who also do drugs
/u/livelikesinners
Created: Tue Feb 6 10:50:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vp3yl/ec_stacking_question_for_experienced_peoplepeople/
---
So Iāve been wanting to start EC stacking, I live in Canada so itās fairly easy to obtain here. My question/concern is that I use cocaine regularly lol so most Fridayās and Saturdayās. Since EC stacking is probably not the best for your heart, and neither is cocaine, am I safe to do this even just Sunday-Thursday? Itās a part of my social life and would be tough to cut out especially without replacing it with alcohol which will just make me fatter š thanks guys š
[Discussion] What are your favourite bras/bralettes for making boobs look smaller?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 10:48:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vp3bs/what_are_your_favourite_brasbralettes_for_making/
---
Maybe not totally related so take this down if itās too OT. I know small boobs isnāt everyoneās goal but I also know a lot of us here hate them, so Iām curious- for those of us who do dislike them, what do you wear to make them less prominent.
About binging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 6 10:14:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vou5d/about_binging/
---
[deleted]
[Help] restrictive stoners?
/u/applesforhungry
Created: Tue Feb 6 10:02:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7voqpv/restrictive_stoners/
---
any other 'stoners' with an ED got any tips? It's not legal in my country but I smoke at least once a day before bed and usually after uni too. I get munchies real bad and I don't want it to fuck up my progress because I'm closer than I've ever been to my UGW. I live in a house with hardcore snackers so there's always food around to tempt me and I'm just so scared of fucking myself over
[Discussion] Has anyone who is accustomed to restricting had a day where you only ate "bad" foods/junk foods?
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | CW 114.2 | GW 100 | 26F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 10:01:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7voqk7/has_anyone_who_is_accustomed_to_restricting_had_a/
---
for background I'm not a b/p person, much more of a restricting type but I tend to restrict not only calories, but entire categories of food. I really love sweets and crap food and I rationally know that it's CICO that matters, but I have this immense mental hurdle when it comes to eating the foods that I like, even if they would theoretically fit into my daily limit. I even end up eating more calories avoiding eating what I really wanted in the first place -_- like oh i really want that 250cal ice cream but it's scary so i'll eat 300+ calories of "safe foods" instead... (me@me why are you like this)
So idk basically I was toying with the idea of eating nothing but the crap foods that I love so much while staying within my limit for a day. Does anyone do this? What's your experience with it?
[Rant/Rave] I fucked up today.
/u/planetarydisaster
Created: Tue Feb 6 09:46:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vom7w/i_fucked_up_today/
---
[removed]
[Other] Anyone catch the full moon this morning?
/u/loseitjen [5'8 |SW 140|CW 123|GW 115| F21]
Created: Tue Feb 6 09:19:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7voewa/anyone_catch_the_full_moon_this_morning/
---
[removed]
[Goal] Gonna do it
/u/silverkel
Created: Tue Feb 6 09:00:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7voa0j/gonna_do_it/
---
Feeling super angry and stressed. I ate a lot and binged last night. I'm gonna fast for 24hrs. I've never done it but it's happening today. If I do this I will feel so calm and will have something to anchor on. Wish me luck guys!!!
...I know this is textbook "starter pack" but idc. It's time to embrace the discipline.
[Discussion] For those in/interested in/attempting recovery
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 08:57:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vo90t/for_those_ininterested_inattempting_recovery/
---
What does recovery look like to you?
If you look at my recent posts/comments you'll see that I am pretty up and down with my commitment to recovery. Things have been rough and it has left my determination shaken.
All this flipflopping has caused me to think back to the first question my therapist asked me when I told her that I was struggling with an ED. "What does recovery mean to you?"
And at the time I had no answers. Because at the time I didn't believe I could ever be better. But now after all these months I am finally starting to get a glimpse of what recovery can look like for me.
Which in turn made me curious to how y'all pictured it?
Edit: Realized I didn't answer my own question. Recovery to me means eating when hungry and with an appropriate level of thought towards whether what I am eating is healthy or not. Also, not obsessing over whether I am allowed to eat, and being able to have a latte or glass of wine without skipping food to compensate. I want to not worry about minor weight fluctuations or obsess over workouts. Most of all, I want to be able to not even care what my bf cooks for dinner cause I know I will be comfotable eating whatever he wants to make. Instead of obsessing all day at work whether or not he will cook something that fits my cals or macros for the day.
[Help] Oral fixations are my vocation
/u/dotdot-8 [5'8| CW135 | GW122 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 08:55:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vo8mw/oral_fixations_are_my_vocation/
---
I am trying so hard to quit smoking and finding it so difficult to curb my hunger without them!! I try to be really good and most times don't smoke during the day but the past week or so I've been restricting and tempted to keep putting things in my mouth like food but that can't happen. Anyone else working through this atm? Tips? I keep baby carrots and that helps but it's still calories :( help?
[Tip] LPT: If you like the idea of shirataki/konjac noodles but can't get over the texture and smell, look for shirataki with OAT FIBER. It feels more like real food and doesn't have that god awful chemical smell.
/u/PleaseLoveMeAgain [5'2 | CW: 123.24lbs | GW: 110lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 08:54:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vo8ie/lpt_if_you_like_the_idea_of_shiratakikonjac/
---
I can't rave enough about this stuff. I'll occasionally buy shirataki noodles, only for them to just sit in my fridge forever because most of the time I'd rather eat nothing than eat shirataki. And this time started out the same, I bought them but was dreading having to eat them... but then I did and they were great!
They're slightly chewy similar to how real pasta is. Next time I think I'm going to boil them with a couple of pieces of regular pasta because I think they'll even take on the starchy pasta water taste (my sister taught me this trick for making whole wheat pasta taste like white pasta).
And you know how shiratake has that smell that wont fully go away no matter how many times you rinse and can still sometimes be perceived through sauces? These did smell slightly in the bag, but after rinsing it went away completely.
I'm going to order a whole case.
[Help] Subsistence Allowances and EDs
/u/fattyfatty2-4 [5'6" | CW: too fat | GW: less fat | 22F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 08:33:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vo327/subsistence_allowances_and_eds/
---
Hi all, I'm sure there are other places that I can ask this, but not without getting flack from people who do not understand how stressful this is to me, lol.
I am a student and I am travelling next month to an academic conference that will require me to be out of town for 3 days. I have a subsistence allowance through a grant through my department, and it's actually quite generous, but I'm not planning on using it all. In fact, I'm not even planning on using most of it. I want to buy a box of NuGo vegan protein bars and take it with me and just eat those (3 days - 3 bars per day = 9 bars, and there's 12 to a box, just in case). That'll be about $15, which is not even a quarter of my allowance.
I have a question about this: For people who do this kind of thing all the time, is it weird to present a receipt for food purchases made even before the trip begins? I'd like to buy them ASAP so there's no surprises, but I'm wondering how to present a receipt after the conference for a purchase made a month in advance without raising eyebrows, especially since I don't plan on having any other purchases to subsidize...
I am otherwise very nervous about the socializing and meal aspect of the conference. There will definitely be dinners and drinks and I'm just not sure how to handle all of the unknown, which is why I'm trying to bring all of my own food with me. I don't want to bring this up with my adviser unless it's absolutely necessary, but he is both very friendly and very observant so I'm sure it's going to come up because I do not want to go to any of the dinners and draw negative attention to myself. Do you think I should tell him beforehand, or just try to let it blow over without mentioning it?
I wish I were more excited for the conference. It's basically a networking jackpot and it's going to open up a million doors for me and all I can think about is what and how I'm going to eat while I'm there :(
[Rant/Rave] Ruining opportunities for myself
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5ā4ā | cw 118 | gw 110 | bmi 20.7]
Created: Tue Feb 6 08:32:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vo2xo/ruining_opportunities_for_myself/
---
I had an all expenses paid trip to Chicago today and when I woke up at 4 AM, I felt fat and bloated and literally just went right back to bed. I just didnāt want to go while fat. I fucking hate myself honestly and now Iām gonna have to explain to my publisher why I never showed up at their meet and greet and wasted their money and I honestly donāt know why the hell I did it. I had gotten ready and packed and everything and my fiancĆ© was all ready to drive me and I just said ānever mindā. š
[Discussion] Having trouble eating solid foods
/u/motivatedcactus [5'3" | CW 114.5 | BMI 20.84 | UGW skinny | 18F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 08:13:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vnybd/having_trouble_eating_solid_foods/
---
Lately the though of eating solid foods is disgusting to me. I used to love the feeling of washing food down with a drink but now it makes me physically cringe. Mashed up food and liquid mixing together in my mouth?! Its like eating spiders... and the thought of eating anything that I have to chew or crunch, especially chips, is grossing me out. Getting it stuck in my teeth and making my breath smell bad. I think Iām especially conscious of this because of my boyfriend. Iām very wary of wanting to not be disgusting around him. Even though I know he doesnāt give a rats ass if I eat, he would actually love it! But thereās still something inside me telling me that he doesnāt want a girl who shoves her dirty mouth with disgusting calorie filled shit. And he definitely doesnāt want to listen to me chew at 200 decibels while weāre watching tv
Also, I donāt want to sound trashy or anything, but one of my motivators for fasting throughout the day is for when we have sex just in case he wants a blowjob, so that I can deep throat. without being worried about throwing up solids. I know thatās probably awful and disgusting and trashy as fuck so Iām sorry lol
Anyway! Rant over! Anyone else dealing with this kind of thing lately?
[Discussion] What is your safe food?
/u/skippingrecords [5'5 | sw: 140lbs | cw: 133lbs | ugw: 95lbs]
Created: Tue Feb 6 07:59:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vnutl/what_is_your_safe_food/
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[Discussion] Plateau plateau plateau plateau
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 128.6 | BMI: 25.1 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 07:08:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vnj95/plateau_plateau_plateau_plateau/
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What's your longest plateau been while eating at a consistent deficit? I have been eating (save for one day a little above maintenance) between 6 and 900 calories a day for the past 2 weeks (probably longer) and I have been 128.6 for almost 2 weeks. What the fuck am I doing wrong? I even tried having a high day and that didn't work either. Has anyone here ever had a 2 week plateau? This is the longest amount of time that I've stayed exactly. the same. weight. every. single. day.
[Other] Me, post purge
/u/psydorable
Created: Tue Feb 6 06:41:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vndlj/me_post_purge/
---
https://i.redd.it/mz0mxldcjle01.jpg
[Discussion] DAE get extremely irritable when restricting heavily/fasting? How do you distract yourself from that?
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 134 | GW: 110]
Created: Tue Feb 6 06:38:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vncz9/dae_get_extremely_irritable_when_restricting/
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I'm losing weight but everything pisses me off. I hate this word, but I guess I'm currently your text-book definition of "hangry". And unless there's a ton of work I can't concentrate on anything else.
[Discussion] February 6th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 06:00:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vn5mz/february_6th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Are you seeking contentment or excitement?
Contentment. I had my exciting college and grad school years, and now I just want to not hate myself.
[Rant/Rave] I got the Flu! Worried about dying.
/u/WhatsAMooseSay [5'5 | CW: 204.6 lbs | -70.4lbs | GW: 115 | 26F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 05:48:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vn3er/i_got_the_flu_worried_about_dying/
---
My lovely children have shared their lovely germs and I'm down with the flu. Which is great! I feel like crap and I'm not eating and I'm losing..
But I'm also freaked the fuck out. I keep seeing stories about people dying this year from the flu. Up until Saturday when I got super sick I had been actively purging up to 4 times a day. And now with the flu I know I'm getting dehydrated and my chest hurts.. And every flu pang in my chest I just think "well this is it. Here's my ED heart attack."
Just ranting I guess. I'm a mild hypochondriac and I'll be fine but damn I'm nervous!
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday February 06, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Feb 6 05:10:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vmwyz/thinspo_tuesday_february_06_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 06, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Feb 6 05:10:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vmwyc/daily_food_diary_february_06_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 06, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Broaching the topic with my s/o
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Tue Feb 6 04:56:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vmuiq/broaching_the_topic_with_my_so/
---
Sooo if youāve seen me on here you mightāve seen me complain(ha) about my husband and his inability to understand and treat me with respect in regards to my ED. I did relapse AFTER we got back together and I moved across the world to live with him, but now that itās getting worse heās either making insensitive remarks or wanting to fix me.
It all comes from a place of worry and love - he just doesnāt know how to act about this. We both have other mental illnesses, but this is something Iām just so out of my depth with dealing with another human thatās trying to just get me to stop. I have tried being complacent to his desires for me to eat more but at the end of the day my guilt is surmounted and I feel so much worse and ashamed for doing so when I know I didnāt need to.
(I post a lot of our stuff on axiscodes.tumblr.com/tagged/problems)
So I want to talk about it with him instead of ignoring it. Iāve googled it. Iāve read some articles. So many of them are recovery oriented (sort of, how to deal with your partner who has an eating disorder kind of thing). Iāve found one maybe that has some helpful statements, but perhaps you guys have been through this? I hate to say heās not āunderstandingā but I donāt know if he just... thinks I can get over it easily but I donāt want to and if I donāt want to or Iām not ready then Iām living in some glorified world where I think itās so amazing to have an eating disorder but, fuck you if youāre taking this away...
That was long and I hope it made sense... anyway, maybe one of you guys have had to explain to an s/o how to approach your ED if they were coming on strong? Either way, Iāll keep googling haha.
Love love
[Other] Story time! Hope it makes you feel less bad about yourself. Enjoy!
/u/__charlotte_
Created: Tue Feb 6 04:55:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vmuc5/story_time_hope_it_makes_you_feel_less_bad_about/
---
Hello there! I would like to share my story from yesterday with you..
I finally had a week full of restricting to 500kcal a day, regular fitness and no b/p. I was doing good... since yesterday! I was feeling dizzy and weak all day and had a huge fight with my boyfriend the night before, which also meant I was tired af. Anyway, yesterday I was having a nice dinner, which fit in my 500kcal limit and after that all I wanted to do is go to bed... (yeah I wish)
I seriously donāt know what happened then but starting eating bananas, Oreos, a frozen (!) cake, cookies, chocolate, a lasagne, yogurt (yeah you get my point)... freaking everything I could get into my greasy fingers that was still in the house. We even have a cupboard full of sweets, which is locked because of me. I broke it open like an animal and ate everything I could get.. what in the world is wrong with me?!? Those chips werenāt even crispy anymore, I couldāve eaten salty paper and I wouldāve tasted the same! Or I ended up putting the frozen cake in the microwave, which was basically the grossest thing ever.. oh hey and guess what I discovered this morning? THE BREAD I ATE HAD NASTY, FLUFFY MOULDS ON IT. Iām such a pig. I was tasting it, but I didnāt care. Thatās how disgusting I am. I put more peanut butter on it, so it wouldnāt taste weird. Yep. Eating bread thatās gone bad, microwaved cake, a half frozen lasagne. Does that sound delicious? NO. But for me it did.. And imagine purging up all that good stuff for hours until I passed out in the shower. Jealous yet? No? Ok my boyfriend came home at 3am and found all the stuff, including me still in the shower with all that vomit all over me....
I also took a few Oreos with me in the bathroom.. because why not? A little snack while destroying your gullet.. I mean itās exhausting, you might get hungry š¤·š»āāļø. But seriously guys, it was the worst day. Itās never been that bad and now itās the morning after and I canāt decide if I want to do a 365day fast, kill myself or go to the gym for the next 5 days straight...
Sorry for the long post, here is a potato š„. Oh wait.. wrong platform! Lol. Jk. Thanks for reading this far (if anyone even did) and I hope it cheered you up that there is someone that disgusting on this planet and it made you feel a little better!
[Rant/Rave] Arrrrrggh... 1st world problems.
/u/chloelouiise [5'6 | 136 | 21.95 | -86 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 04:19:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vmos1/arrrrrggh_1st_world_problems/
---
Iām so fricking annoyed guys. It snowed here so I thought, you know what? Treat yo self. Get a medium skinny hot chocolate instead of a black americano, it fits your calories!
So I order, do the waiting thing, the only person waiting for a drink, when they called a large skinny hot chocolate! And now itās totally messed up my day!
The worst thing is no one understands why Iām upset! Everyone is telling me that Iām lucky and Iām like nooooooo!
I have to completely rearrange my food for today now :ā(
[Discussion] Anyone else here passionate about food and cooking?
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 129.0 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 6 02:40:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vm9zq/anyone_else_here_passionate_about_food_and_cooking/
---
I know a lot of you here have an aversion to food, which I totally understand. You have negative feelings towards it and ignore it when possible. But I absolutely LOVE learning about food and cooking. I spend most of my free time watching cooking shows, reading cook books, searching Pinterest for recipes, learning about cooking and nutrition, etc. I get excited to grocery shop and try new recipes. In fact, I am strongly considering going to culinary school. This is totally fucked considering the shame I feel whenever I eat and my history of purging. Can anyone here relate to this?
[Help] Is it impossible to lose weight on birth control?
/u/Ik4rus
Created: Tue Feb 6 01:51:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vm30m/is_it_impossible_to_lose_weight_on_birth_control/
---
Not sure if this is the right flair?
I recently started taking NuvaRing because I started seeing someone and itās historically been the most convenient one for my lifestyle. Iām concerned though because Iāve been gaining and losing the same 3 lbs over and over again and Iām worried Iāll just plateau.
Iāve taken it before in the past but I was too scared to weigh myself back then so I canāt tell if it helps/hinders/is neutral re: weight loss... id still like to drop to as close to 100lbs as possible but Iām scared that this medication is gonna fuck me up. But Iām also enjoying a really good intimate relationship with my boyfriend?
Advice/thoughts?
[Discussion] Question regarding our bodies and restricting:
/u/hollowedheart_ [5'7" | CW 126 | GW 125 | UGW 120 |]
Created: Tue Feb 6 00:32:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vlrps/question_regarding_our_bodies_and_restricting/
---
Do our bodies get used to restricting (let's say for example 500 calories a day for a month, etc) and by restricting does it cause our appetites to "shrink" so to speak? Do we get used to eating that little amount of food and if we eat 1,000 or more at times do we feel more full/sick because our bodies aren't used to it? So does our body get used to restricting?
Thank you! Just curious as I have been restricting for quite some time.
[Rant/Rave] Why can't I just stop?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 6 00:31:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vlrg0/why_cant_i_just_stop/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Roommates
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 22:43:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vl9p3/roommates/
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How do you guys deal with living with roommates who don't give a fuck about what they eat. Both my roommates are overweight and every night they cook dinner together and it's always super unhealthy food. Tonight they had this super cheesy ravioli and it smelled so good and it was killing me. They eat fast food all the time. I'm trying to over come my binging but oh my god it is so hard when I have to watch my roommates eat like that every day. Even if I don't watch them eat, the house stays stocked with their food and having binge food in the house is super hard. Do you guys have any advice?
[Help] I want to run, but I don't know where!
/u/2girly4me [5'6 ā¢ SW 145# ā¢ CW 125# ā¢ GW 110# ā¢ 20F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 22:39:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vl8yk/i_want_to_run_but_i_dont_know_where/
---
Right now it's freezing out, and probably will stay that way for another month. I can't deal with being in the cold for a minute so running outside is a no-go.
There's a medical center with a huge mall area that allows people to walk there all day. But I think I'd get strange looks if I run in there, probably would be asked to leave.
Anyone have places they are able to run freely away from the cold? Gyms don't count.
Edit:
Thanks guys! I think I may just have to find a huge building to run stairs.
[Rant/Rave] someone please tell me iām doing okay
/u/skeletalstarlet [š 5'6f | cw: 129 | 20.8 | gw: 112 | gbmi: 18 š]
Created: Mon Feb 5 21:53:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vl0bd/someone_please_tell_me_im_doing_okay/
---
iāve struggled for literally 5 years with binging. i used to be super fit/healthy and hit my lw through eating a net of 1,350 calories and running daily over 3 months. once the binges started it didnāt stop. i have a friend i restrict with (we both have EDs) and weāve been friends for 4/5 of these years, so iāve always binged and sheās good at restricting low... anyway, she always makes me feel shit about high restricting because āitāll make me unhappy with how slow i loseā but iām just so. tired. i had 1,290 today because iām just trying to do a damn week under 1,300 since i can only remember one time in 3 years where i went a week without binging. i binged nonstop through january and iām back at my HW. iām just trying to do my best and sheās being so passive aggressive and i need someone to tell me itāll be okay, iāll still lose (even slowly) and what iām doing will work out in the end. iām so tired. thank you for listening i love you all š
[Rant/Rave] I can't stop crying
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 5 21:09:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vkrv5/i_cant_stop_crying/
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[deleted]
[Help] [help] Anyone here been on Accutane while restricting?
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW:š| GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 20:54:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vkotq/help_anyone_here_been_on_accutane_while/
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So my skin sucks. Has sucked for a decade now. Iāve tried all the prescription topical, antibiotics, birth control, and diets there are for some relief, but my skin still sucks. Bad acne runs in my family. My dad went on accutane in the early 80ās and my sister when on it a few years ago. Iām 25 and decided Iām too old for the crap, so Iām scheduling an appointment with my derm to start my own course ASAP.
I know none of you are able to give medical advice, but Iām just looking to see if anyone has any similar experiences or tips to restricting on Accutane. Right now I restrict to around 800-850 calories a day with one 1200 day a week. I do light exercise 2-3x a week. I just donāt want to mess up my liver or anything
[Discussion] Feeling intense need to lose weight for wedding and freaking out that I haven't lost much yet
/u/lithewedding
Created: Mon Feb 5 20:17:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vkh6t/feeling_intense_need_to_lose_weight_for_wedding/
---
I've had an ED for over 20 years and just started admitting it about a year ago. I'm getting married in less than a year and had hoped to lose at least five pounds by now. Every time I lose two pounds I gain it back.
Losing five pounds would keep me sane but not put me in danger. I don't want to restrict any more than I am because I am afraid of passing out or having heart problems. I'm a vegetarian (going on 12 years) and I feel like I am running out of options for low cal, low carb, high protein options.
Any other vegetarians with an ED out there? What helped get you through the day? Also, any preferred workouts? I've been doing weights and barre. I know it sounds silly and may not be the case, but I feel I can at least get past this intense anger at myself if I can get down five pounds for the wedding.
[Help] Have to get an extensive physical done for a job. I need some advice.
/u/catsrule-humansdrool [5'5 | SW 211 | CW 194 | BMI 32.3 | 23F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 20:15:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vkgu3/have_to_get_an_extensive_physical_done_for_a_job/
---
Hi! First time poster and I'll be honest, I'm not really sure how much of an eating disorder I have. I'll give a long version and TL;DR.
So TL;DR I've been restricting with ranges from fasting - 1000 cal a day for a little over a month. I have physical symptoms of malnutrition. Once I'm about 20 pounds lower I have to get a physical done for a job that will no doubt tell my doctor that something is wrong with me, and I won't be hired for the job. Options I've considered are eating more so my body isn't malnourished (which slows down my weight loss and makes me feel like shit in the process) and asking my doctor to supervise a very low calorie diet (which will get me there just as fast and I won't be malnourished, but what if my doctor says no and I get there quickly anyway???).
Long version: I've been feeling shitty about my weight for a while so for the new year I decided I would make a change. I asked my doctor if she would prescribe me appetite control pills to help and she said no, and that I should just count calories or go on weight watchers or Jenny Craig. Cue the restricting. I immediately started restricting to 500-1000 cal a day, throwing some fasts in there for good measure. Then I got this job. My BMI has to be under 30 or I can't do it. I decided that every day from then on would be 700 calories, with at least one day of fasting per week. I want to lose the weight as fast as possible so I can get this physical done and get my job placement. But the past few weeks I'm definitely having symptoms of malnourishment. Cold hands and feet, not being able to think very clearly, slow heartbeat, headaches, fatigue, irritability. So I know that my body is definitely being affected, and this will show up on the physical exam. The physical includes an extensive blood test, an EKG, a chest x-ray, and some other stuff I can't remember off the top of my head. So obviously, doing what I'm doing, I'll never pass it.
The options I've thought of are raising my calorie intake to 1200 a day, even though thinking of eating that much kills me inside and will make the weight loss slower. Or I could ask my doctor to supervise a very low calorie diet and explain that I just need to lose around 20 pounds so I can pass the physical and need to do it as fast as possible so I don't delay my hiring. One of my main concerns with this is that I've already lost 15-20 pounds in just a little over a month, and my doctor will know that. Also if I ask and she says no, but I keep restricting, then she'll know I've been doing it unhealthily and might not pass me on the physical.
I'm not sure if this is the right sub to come to for this but I'm desperate and freaking out and don't know what to do.
[Other] Mango sorbet chia pudding - only 126 calories ladies and gentlemen
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 5 19:35:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vk83j/mango_sorbet_chia_pudding_only_126_calories/
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https://v.redd.it/cro0jdy88ie01
Mango Sorbet Chia Pudding - only 126 calories ladies and gentlemen
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 5 19:30:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vk6yk/mango_sorbet_chia_pudding_only_126_calories/
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https://v.redd.it/3qh64bx97ie01
[Discussion] Has anyone else gotten acne from purging?
/u/sleep-iest [5'5" | 20F | cw 174 | hw 190 | lw 120 | gw 99]
Created: Mon Feb 5 19:24:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vk5kr/has_anyone_else_gotten_acne_from_purging/
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Maybe this is a really stupid question but Iāve been breaking out around my chin/mouth non stop for the past week. I had my period and bout of hormonal acne a while ago, so itās not that. I feel like this is really common sense but maybe just from having my face near the toilet and my hands near my face Iām making myself break out?? Just another reason not to b/p. Sorry for my ignorance just wanted to write out my thoughts.
[Discussion] Books/Articles about attractiveness, etc.
/u/VirgoBlue [5ā8 | BMI 22.5 | -50lbs]
Created: Mon Feb 5 19:12:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vk2ze/booksarticles_about_attractiveness_etc/
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Hi guys! Some people were posting about watching Secret Eater/My 600 Pound Life type shows as a weird self-trigger, and that made me think of something similar that I do; I really like books and articles about weight and attractiveness. Specifically, ones that talk about the benefits of being a certain weight/considered attractive/etc., prove inherent anti-fat biases, etc.
For example, [here](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4892674/) is an article that Iām sure at least a few of you have seen before, about a study on perceptions of health versions attractiveness, and how that relates to BMI. (18-19 was the general ideal for attractiveness, btw.)
Thereās also āLooks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined,ā by Gordon Patzer. It references plenty of super interesting studies, detailing the ways in which being thin/attractive improve peopleās perceptions of you as kind/smart/competent. If anyone is interested in this book, feel free to hmu. (So I can hook you up with a link to purchase the book legally, of course!)
Does anybody else have similar interests, or recommendations in this vein? Or even just want to talk about the topic? Itās very interesting to me how heavily our appearances can impact our lives.
[Discussion] Any mug cakes that are "worth it"?
/u/antelsa [5'11" | F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 19:09:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vk2d6/any_mug_cakes_that_are_worth_it/
---
Hiya,
I just wanted to ask if any of you have found a mug cake or single size dessert that's "worth it". Not even a low calorie one (necessarily, though that would be a bonus). All of the recipes I've tried taste slightly weird. Which is a shame, since I'd love to have a dependable insta-cake.
Has anyone had any success with mug cakes? (I like chocolate and cinnamon but am open to all flavors ;)
[Tip] Spaghetti Squash GAME CHANGER
/u/pixelstar [5'1.5 | CW: 96 - GW: 93]
Created: Mon Feb 5 18:44:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vjwpg/spaghetti_squash_game_changer/
---
Y'all I just made spaghetti squash for the first time and it is SO GOOD! Even my boyfriend liked it and he doesn't like anything I make!
It's 31 cals for 100 grams, which is a little less than broccoli. But like, you can cook it and then top it with salsa, or just sprinkle on some salt. It's filling AF.
It's just kinda annoying to cut open.
This is how I cooked mine: https://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2016/02/15/how-to-cook-spaghetti-squash-oven-microwave/
[Help] HOW DO I STOP!?
/u/carsandbands
Created: Mon Feb 5 17:28:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vjfea/how_do_i_stop/
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I was doing good. I was 125lbs and I loved the way I looked. Since Christmas I have lost control of my eating. I canāt stop eating. Iām 140lbs now and Iām not happy. Iām pissed. My forearms are starting to get thick. I canāt see my ribs anymore and my fat hangs over my pants. I canāt stop eating and I need to be 125lbs again. I feel like shit about myself constantly.
[Discussion] What foods make you the angriest?
/u/misspennyfoolish
Created: Mon Feb 5 17:06:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vja4r/what_foods_make_you_the_angriest/
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For me itās not even binge Foods. Itās all the calorie bombs that pretend to be healthy like salmon, avocado, whole grain bread and nuts.
Like I was just served a 1160 cal meal of healthy stuff (salmon, avocado, WG bread, sautĆ©ed spinach, egg) and I ate it all and wtf I couldāve had halo top and a beer instead for way less than that. I feel too guilty to purge a lovingly made meal by my mom though and it was high quality stuff just caloric. Also Iām trying to not purge anymore for the most part. Rant over.
[Rant/Rave] Why can't I be normal?
/u/ilikecocoakrispies [5'1 | HW: 140 | CW: 135 | GW:100 | š:kyoops]
Created: Mon Feb 5 16:58:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vj87k/why_cant_i_be_normal/
---
What happened to me that I can't eat food without going overboard and feeling so bad and guilty? Why can't I stop thinking about food or eating or not eating or my weight or how big my thighs are or how big i look compared to my friends? Why can't I be a normal, happy girl without thoughts about self harm or suicide? What the fuck did I do to deserve this? I have a loving family and a couple friends and my body is otherwise healthy, I'm not super poor and I pretty much have everything I need to live so why do I hate myself so much?
[Discussion] DAE track in a spreadsheet
/u/4catslol [5'1" | CW 132 | -12]
Created: Mon Feb 5 15:34:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vin3x/dae_track_in_a_spreadsheet/
---
https://i.gyazo.com/4441253663f3fc402c6d6a6b81d37f57.png
this is my google docs spreadsheet. it's just super motivating to be able to see all the numbers yknow???
also I like to make them pretty and I work on them when I'm bored. adding new columns and shit. when I was watching supersize vs superskinny I added a stone column and then deleted it because I don't like that measurement and it's hard to quantify in my head compared to lb/kg. I also wanted to make a bmi graph next to the weight graph but they would look exactly the same :/
[Rant/Rave] Cruel jokes by the universe
/u/silverkel
Created: Mon Feb 5 15:28:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vilhz/cruel_jokes_by_the_universe/
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Ok I just need to vent this out because I know you guys will understand...Some days I just don't get it and it's like the universe is playing a cruel joke on me.
1) the only other person I share an office with is like a twig, not more than 110
2) my new room mate is even more of a twig, like probably 100
3) there is a free junk food snack room in the grad lounge
So now I can't eat in front of my office mate cause then I'm a fatty, I can't work in my building because I am constantly worried about binging (I already did today...3 granola bars and now I'm working somewhere else), and I can't eat in front of my room mate or cook in front of her because it makes me feel so shitty about myself, like the fattest fatty. I know this is a weird anomaly because being 100-110lbs is not the "average female adult weight" so why does it have to be in my house and in my work space?! Or, why do I have to be so obsessive about it in the first place :( I don't even know how to eat anymore. life is hard. Thanks for listening <3
[Help] How do I put my weight and height next to my username?
/u/aishafreestyle [5' 4" | CW: 120lbs | 20 BMI | LW: 110 | 22F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 14:49:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vib8n/how_do_i_put_my_weight_and_height_next_to_my/
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TIA <3 Just a reminder that you're beautiful!
[Goal] Overzealous poop gods (AKA making bad decisions and then acting surprised at the foreseeable consequences)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 5 14:46:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7viakj/overzealous_poop_gods_aka_making_bad_decisions/
---
[This meme](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProEDmemes/comments/7vcdvl/when_you_binge_for_4_days_and_wonder_why_you_look/) is so fucking relevant right now.
I've pooped 4 times since waking up two hours ago. As much as I'm stoked things are finally moving (it had been like.... four days), this genuinely needs to stop because I have an important meeting at midday today.
Why is this happening? Definitely nothing to do with the combo of zoloft, four espresso shots, and an empty stomach. I guess I'll never know ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Flaired as help because oh gosh send help pls make it stop
[Other] So easy to fall I to
/u/ReversedHierophant
Created: Mon Feb 5 13:59:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vhxi2/so_easy_to_fall_i_to/
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At the weekend I was 261.2 today I'm two pounds heavier simply due to food. I have to eat to keep my brain active because I have a job where I have to interact with people and not be a zombie (Call center drone)
But my god I want to just empty myself out again and see my progress. I can see how quickly it can get to daily laxatives and long fasts.
I hate this. I hate feeling like a weeks progress is just gone because I ate lunch.
[Discussion] DAE think theyāre gonna make something, but end up making something else?
/u/arandomnamebcimlazy [5ā6|CW:129|BMI:20.8|-97|Female|]
Created: Mon Feb 5 13:33:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vhqeq/dae_think_theyre_gonna_make_something_but_end_up/
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I like to map out my meals each day, so I can know how many calories are gonna be in what I cook. However, if seems like every time I do this, itāll end up changing to something else that is lower in calories. Today, I had my usual breakfast, but for lunch, I was gonna make some ramen with some broccoli. Sometime in between finishing my workout, and taking a shower, my mind was able to convince me to switch it to a banana, and a protein bar. Iām not complaining, the lower the calories, the better, but itās so weird how quickly I shift. Same with dinner. I was gonna make a veggie burger with homemade fries. I ended up with a bowl of cereal, some blueberries, and an apple sauce with a sheet of graham crackers. Does anyone else do this?
[Rant/Rave] First time using spaghetti squash and shirataki noodles
/u/PainlessMe [17F | 1.75 | CW: 61.1 | GW: 50 | SW: 70.1]
Created: Mon Feb 5 13:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vhkkr/first_time_using_spaghetti_squash_and_shirataki/
---
https://i.redd.it/zvob0h16cge01.jpg
[Other] Making progress!
/u/krecneps
Created: Mon Feb 5 13:04:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vhi45/making_progress/
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So I started working out in August (and by working out, I mean I started over-working myself at the gym and relapsed into the hell that is anorexia after being "recovered" for two years) and I've gone from weighing 136lbs (overweight for my 4'11 ass) down to <105lbs (don't know my exact weight, bc I keep on eating before I go to the gym & weigh myself, but I'm at a "healthy weight" right now). I haven't had too many binge days, and I started EC stacking about a month ago and it has done wonders to curb my appetite when necessary. I keep on getting comments from people about how good I look or asking how much weight I've lost. I still have a way to go to get down to my UGW of 80lbs, but I'm super proud of myself for making it this far. I'm so close to being below 100lbs. I just wanted to share how proud of myself I've been recently, mostly because my body is running on sugar free Redbull and Bronkaid so I'm hyped as fuck.
Much love & good vibes to all of you ā”ā”ā”
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Living on campus and being on my own is a lot tougher than I imagined
/u/HellAbove [5'6.5"|147.2 lbs|23.4|21F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 12:46:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vhdg2/rant_living_on_campus_and_being_on_my_own_is_a/
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So I've been living on campus for about two weeks now. I had to leave home because my family was (and has always been) super duper controlling. But now that I am out of the house, it's been liberating...but I am scared that it's too much freedom. The thing that's been messing with my mind the most is the unlimited meal plan. I could literally binge/purge all I want and it's driving me insane. I already did once this semester (thus ending my no b/p steak). I guess what I'm saying is that being on my own and just breaking away from such a toxic environment is a lot tougher than I thought it would be. My eating disorder is kicking my ass :-(
[Other] New fav hobby
/u/Eau_De_Chloroform
Created: Mon Feb 5 12:23:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vh782/new_fav_hobby/
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Watching morbidly obese people do YouTube mukbangs and googling the calorie content of everything they're eating while I drink tea.
I can't even imagine what someone would think of me if they saw me doing this for hours.
[Discussion] Microwavable cake?!?
/u/2girly4me [5'6 ā¢ SW 145# ā¢ CW 125# ā¢ GW 110# ā¢ 20F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 12:16:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vh5gb/microwavable_cake/
---
I've been B/P'ing on frosting tubs for a week so far, and the icing is starting to get dull. It makes my mouth very dry. I also don't like buying cakes cause the cheapest cake I can find around here is like $6 for a small round cake.
My parents had an old package of cake mix in the cupboard. I decided to mix it with water and eat it as is. Then I decided to microwave it with half of it gone. OMG, I can't believe I just easily made a cake that tastes just as good as the frostless ones at the supermarket!
Of course it's going to go down the toilet in a moment. Still tastes good!
Anyone here make any good tasting cakes in the microwave?
[Rant/Rave] Binged for 3 days. Whatās the likely damage?
/u/IndigoSeasons [5'9" | CW 138 | CGW 118 | BMI 20 | Female]
Created: Mon Feb 5 12:06:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vh2ki/binged_for_3_days_whats_the_likely_damage/
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[removed]
[Help] Is this normal? I need help.
/u/MeelinFelo
Created: Mon Feb 5 11:57:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vh055/is_this_normal_i_need_help/
---
My mum is the reason why I am bulimic. It started when I was 12 and I caught her throwing up after dinner. I kind of put two and two together and figured it must be a way of staying slim. The first time I purged I was 12. Bulimia fully took over when I was 13.
She found out when I accidentally forgot to clean up after myself when I was 15. She burst out of the bathroom and confronted me about it, asking if I was throwing up after eating. I, of course couldn't deny it, and said yes. She then just started laughing at me. It was surreal. She caught me a few more times as well, either by tell tale signs of red eyes/smell of vomit/catching me in the act (I am not allowed to lock my room or the bathroom.) and each time she just kind of brushes it off or laughs about or has asked to clean the bathroom if I'm going to clean the toilet after.
5 years later I have a terrible relationship with food and that I hate every part of myself. She knows this but now she's purposely starting to bring it up in front of my stepdad. I always try to signal to her to stop when he's not looking, but she just kind of smirks at me, and comments on how much I'm eating (binging) and if in going to "visit" the toilet later (purging).
My question being; is it normal for a parent to act like this? How have your parents reacted when they found out about your ed?
[Discussion] Positivity post
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Feb 5 11:22:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vgqjx/positivity_post/
---
On mobile flair as discussion or Inspo.
It's Monday. I work pretty much all week but trying to find the silver lining and thought it could be helpful to just have a Monday morning dialogue or post.
Comment something not necessarily ED related you are proud of.
Comment something ED related you are proud of.
Some thing you like this morning and why you like it, could also just be Some thing that make a you happy.
Right now I enjoy my morning ritual of just sitting in a coffee shop a block from work, drinking a coffee and redditing to be honest. Sometimes I also get off the bus and walk a few blocks to take in all the different people commuting downtown.
I enjoy pretty much all animals I think they are adorable.
I am 6 hours shy of my third day of fasting.
My outfit today is pretty cute and I feel comfortable.
I hope everyone has a lovely Monday. You are all wonderful and lovely and worth of positive vibes and grace.
Love your friend neighborhood Willow.
[Help] Feeling a binge coming on
/u/Disputeanocean
Created: Mon Feb 5 11:15:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vgok1/feeling_a_binge_coming_on/
---
Iāve been doing really well restricting and exercising. I can feel a binge wanting to come on. Iām starting to crave things. Any tips on how to stop it?
[Help] Help, how do I deal with group therapy tonight??
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 102 |19.3|F| š sgtsarah]
Created: Mon Feb 5 10:24:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vgb1t/help_how_do_i_deal_with_group_therapy_tonight/
---
It's supposed to be for depression/anxiety. But my ED flair up has pretty much nixed both of those problems for me ^yayy???
How do I talk with these people without making it about my ED?
[Rant/Rave] just weighed myself for the first time since Christmas...
/u/applesforhungry
Created: Mon Feb 5 10:06:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vg62x/just_weighed_myself_for_the_first_time_since/
---
[removed]
[Help] help???
/u/fortunate-foolx [62 in. | 217 lb | 39 | -13 | 18F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 10:01:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vg4q7/help/
---
[removed]
[Help] Binged on the Weekend
/u/skippingrecords [5'5 | sw: 140lbs | cw: 133lbs | ugw: 95lbs]
Created: Mon Feb 5 09:56:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vg3b8/binged_on_the_weekend/
---
I feel like absolute garbage because last week all through the weekdays I did well. No days over 650kcals. But of course, as soon as the weekend hits I manage to eat 1600kcals both Saturday and Sunday. I'm having a hard time forgiving myself, I wasn't able to sleep last night and I've been overexercising today. Any kind words or advice for letting myself move on from this?
[Help] Keep losing and then gaining those first 5 pounds - How do I break through and actually start making a difference?
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 112 | GW1: 110 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Mon Feb 5 09:31:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vfwn8/keep_losing_and_then_gaining_those_first_5_pounds/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Won free pizza while midnight bowling
/u/motivatedcactus [5'3" | CW 114.5 | BMI 20.84 | UGW skinny | 18F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 09:15:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vfsgl/won_free_pizza_while_midnight_bowling/
---
Iām not really ranting, Iām not complaining, but unsure of what else to flair as. **If you donāt want background skip to bold text!**
My boyfriend and I went midnight bowling. This was a couple days ago and Iāve been meaning to post but depression š I had only had 565 calories that day and wasnāt gonna have more. Easy peasy I thought. The snack stand smelled good as shit but I didnāt give in because 1. Calories and 2. Weāre both pretty broke anyway. My boyfriend even went to the trouble of getting money from the atm and breaking the bill down just to get me DIET Dr Pepper because only the vending machine had it.
Anyway, when we got there we each got a ticket like a carnival ticket. I guess to prove we paid. It was like 11:30 and it was super loud with rock music and neon lights flashing everywhere. We had a great time. Fell in love all over again.
**where the actual story begins lol**
At like 12:30 the people got in the intercom and said itās time to get our your tickets from the beginning of the night! Whoever has these last 3 numbers wins a free pizza! They called out two different sets of number and OMG I never win anything but I won! My ticket ! I couldnāt believe it. It was good and bad news because well food. On the plus side, I had two slices, came in under 1200 and only felt slightly guilty! Awesome night!
[Other] Recovery isn't going well
/u/lovetrial [5'3 | 91 lbs | 21F ]
Created: Mon Feb 5 09:04:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vfpug/recovery_isnt_going_well/
---
I started a kinda self-help recovery on Friday after nearly passing out the day before with 2 snacks and 3 meals a day, which so far has been 1500-1900 kcals daily. Since then I've slept like shit because I've felt so bloated and like I needed to do something about it that I couldn't relax, I've done as much exercise as I can handle and am sore everywhere, and today I got halfway through my 320 kcal lunch before rushing to a public bathroom to try to purge (I've never been able to, and had second thoughts after a couple of minutes when someone came in and didn't get any up).
I really don't want to go down the purging everything path - I've heard it's much harder to get out of. But it's like I'm possessed and I just start doing these things.
At this point I'm pretty sure just restricting is healthier than trying to recover on my own. But I have been enjoying the hour or two a day that I don't think about food, too. I feel mentally ready to accept it. I don't know why I'm doing these things. I don't know why I ever started any of this.
Just wanted to let it off my chest. I really want to get better and have a life outside of food that I don't even enjoy most of the time because even when I'm splurging I'm feeling guilty about calories.
Maybe I should just fork over the money for real treatment after all. Is it more effective than self-recovery in the long term, or is it really not that different? I've heard a lot of mixed responses on it.
[Discussion] Diet / anti-binge books?
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 112 | GW1: 110 | UGW: 100 | LW 90]
Created: Mon Feb 5 08:39:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vfjay/diet_antibinge_books/
---
Won't lie, I'm kind of hooked at the moment. I actually got Sarah Wilson's *I Quit Sugar* for christmas, it really helped me see how addictive sugar actually is and definitely shaped my current diet even though I'm not completely sugar free.
I recently read both the book *Brain over Binge* by Kathryn Hansen though which really gave me hope and after reading *Binge Code* by Alison Kerr (a recovered bulimic) I. Do. Not. Binge. like at all. Not for a full month. I would recommend this book to anyone, ED or simply struggling with cravings, god, it's made me so much happier. Anyone else got any recommendations?
[Rant/Rave] They say the key to success is visualization [rave]
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 135lbs|21.3|-50lbs|F|29yrs]
Created: Mon Feb 5 08:33:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vfhxj/they_say_the_key_to_success_is_visualization_rave/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] A solution to my binging
/u/OhhMyGourd
Created: Mon Feb 5 08:27:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vfgb9/a_solution_to_my_binging/
---
Soooo lately my gf and I have been opening up our relationship. She wanted a boyfriend and I didn't mind, but I guess secretly I did because I've been overeating like crazy. I've gone up and down like 5lbs in the past 3 weeks. I wasn't feeling the guy we were seeing cause he was more her type and they had way more chemistry, so she told me to go look on my own.
Welp. I found someone. He is very attractive, kinda insane, and definitely my type. I saw him for the first time yesterday and I just couldn't eat at all. We went out and I had 3 bites of a greek salad.
We had sex... and um, it was amazing. I never want to eat again. I feel like binging for me is a reaction to emotional issues I'm not dealing with. I woke up this morning and I'm the lightest I've been in months. I just want to feel this way for as long as possible tbh.
I guess the solution was upping my lexapro to 10mg and dating dudes that make me too nervous to eat. xD
I'm going to keep up this pseudo fast for as long as possible.
[Intro] Iām back and roaring.
/u/trop_mince [5'8" | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 08:24:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vffl6/im_back_and_roaring/
---
Yesterday my dad told me it looked like I had dropped 10-15 pounds since he saw me around Christmas. Surprise! Iāve only lost like 2 pounds, that I know of, but the last time I weighed myself was New Yearās Eve.
This fueled me so much.
115 here I come.
I think Iām going to try this Peach thing now, but Iām still getting the hang of it. My username is: survigor
Edit: Please feel free to add me as a friend!
[Other] [Other] That's it. No more drinking.
/u/Deviiation [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 25.01 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Mon Feb 5 07:42:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vf5wg/other_thats_it_no_more_drinking/
---
If my neighbour hadn't pointed out to me that I had a drink problem, I would probably never have realised. I spent two years drinking slowly all day, and then more heavily at night, and I treated it purely as an anxiolytic and a sleeping aid. Every time the money ran out I'd just sell some old shit to the pawn shop and then back again. Since I was never drunk, I didn't treat it as a problem. The last time I had drink trouble was maybe seven years ago, and then I was a proper binge drinker from morning until I ran out, so, comparing it with that, I thought, "eh, I'm fine".
Since November, I've been making a real effort to taper down. I tried cold turkey to start with, but I was just a mess of twitching and insomnia and panic attacks. I never bothered logging alcohol calories because it was too embarrassing, and that'd just make me drink more. Since November, I have been logging alcohol calories, and the balance against food calories was just obscene. Well over 2000 some days from drink and 300-500 from food. I had to draw the line somewhere. I'm doing it now.
Since yesterday morning, I haven't had a single drink. I think I've finally broken the back of it. I'm having a difficult time sleeping, and last night I had two panic attacks in bed, but I think I'll make it. I have to persevere. I've broken addictions before and I can break this one too. I don't get "drink munchies" - it's just the fucking alcohol calories themselves. Well, here we go.
I don't think I'm going to risk a single drink again until I'm under BMI 20. Maybe 18. If the insomnia gets really bad I might have one small drink at night, but apart from that, nothing. No more. I have to crack this problem before I'm seriously overweight.
[Help] How much weight does bloating add during your period?
/u/myrtlewils0n [cw:121.8 ā¾ gw1: 115 ā¾ ugw:108.8]
Created: Mon Feb 5 07:32:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vf3po/how_much_weight_does_bloating_add_during_your/
---
I was weighing in regularly 121.8/122 before I started on Sunday. Today I wake up and I'm 125??? Could bloat gain really make me gain three pounds?
I've been between 500-800 pretty regularly, but with yesterday being the Super Bowl I finished the day at 1,048 which logically I KNOW couldn't make me gain three pounds but??? What?? Could???
(#WheresMyWoosh)
[Other] Just wanted to share the life of a sad med student who has an ED.
/u/backpackcats88 [5'7 | CW 120lb | 18.6 | GW105 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 07:26:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vf2gh/just_wanted_to_share_the_life_of_a_sad_med/
---
https://i.redd.it/azpstzagmee01.png
[Help] Stopping the Binge cycle
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 132.5 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.7 | F21]
Created: Mon Feb 5 07:19:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vf0x1/stopping_the_binge_cycle/
---
I feel like I'm out of control.
Just a week ago I couldn't bear the thought of eating a full size meal. Now I can't stop eating. I can't even bear the thought of counting my calories right now, and I feel so ridiculously fat. I'm scared to weigh myself. How can I stop myself from doing this? :'(
[Discussion] i need some whoosh-spo
/u/conspicere [š 5'3.5" | CW: 113 | GW: šÆ | š]
Created: Mon Feb 5 07:18:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vf0l5/i_need_some_whooshspo/
---
hi guys
i've gained 2 lbs in water weight over the past 2 days while eating 700-800 cal, so i KNOW it's not real weight gain but it's still getting me down :( typical ED brain
does anyone have any inspiring whoosh stories they'd like to share? what's your biggest water weight gain/whoosh? it would help me feel a bit better :)
[Discussion] Motivational thread! Letās talk my lovelies!
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Mon Feb 5 07:11:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vez2l/motivational_thread_lets_talk_my_lovelies/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Wasnāt going to come out of hiding, but I desperately need to vent/talk/share.
/u/wifeinhiding
Created: Mon Feb 5 07:05:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vexqe/wasnt_going_to_come_out_of_hiding_but_i/
---
Hello lovelies. Sorry in advance for the wall of text. New lurker here, this is a throwaway account. I have been wanting to write in a journal to get my thoughts/feelings out, but fear my husband will decide to peak. I just need to let this out somewhere safe.
About three years ago I weighed 210. I was able to get myself down to 130 with āhealthyā dieting and exercise (or so I thought).
I used MFP, worked out every day, and noticed the pounds coming off.
My food scale became my best friend and the bathroom scale... my worst enemy. I would restrict myself all day and then binge once I got off work. Food was always on my mind. It was a vicious cycle but my weight continued to drop. I didnāt even understand how extreme I was being until my mom hid my food scale. Eventually I decided that I knew what foods were healthy/unhealthy and to delete the dreaded MFP.
Fast forward to today. I am happily married to the most loving (and petite) husband and 30 pounds heavier than my lowest weight. I donāt know how I let it get like this. Six months ago I was healthy and active.
I feel disgusting and ashamed. I wonāt even dress/undress in front of him. He tells me he supports my decision to either maintain or lose weight and that I am the most beautiful woman in the world no matter what. I decided last month itās time to lose, so Iāve been working out and re-downloaded MFP. Now that he has seen my dedication, he says he is ready to GAIN weight. He is 6 ft and weighs 115-120 and very self conscious about it. We used to eat together after work, but it has turned into me watching him eat and dying to binge. On one hand, I want to tell him Iāve only been eating 300-500 calories a day so he will become worried and encourage me to eat more (prompting a binge). On the other hand, I feel disgusting/weird eating in front of him now. Last night he cut up sausage/cheese and some crackers for a snack. I decided I could have a couple crackers, and when he saw me eat cracker #3 I felt ashamed and stopped. I feel my obsession with food creeping back like it used to. It is a love hate relationship that will ultimately help me reach my goals, but simultaneously make me miserable.
Anyways, I just needed to let that out and let you all know that you are so lovely and kind. I have been lurking for about a week and decided I will eventually have rlly bad days and need support, but donāt feel like I can talk about my issues with anyone other than you guys.
I hope you all have a great day and take care of yourselves š
[Discussion] How did your ED change when you moved away from home and/or went somewhere (college, etc.) away from your parents?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 5 06:46:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7veu02/how_did_your_ed_change_when_you_moved_away_from/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] My fat bony ass??
/u/Lady_Kohai [5'1"|CW 103.4 | UGW 80 | 20F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 06:33:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7verbh/my_fat_bony_ass/
---
How do you guys deal with sitting anywhere that's not cushioned? When I sit in unpadded chairs/on the floor it makes my lower back and spine hurt after a while so I just do most of my work in bed. Do you get used to this literal pain in the ass after a while?
[Discussion] February 5th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 06:28:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7veqj3/february_5th_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
What are you obsessively listening to?
Not really atm but a while ago I was obsessed with [this version of Do You Feel Like We Do](https://youtu.be/V9Yq5m9eLIQ) by Peter Frampton and [Machine](https://youtu.be/AhC2c6N-cFM) by Misterwives š¤·š¼āāļø
[Rant/Rave] Nothing after whoosh :(
/u/Disputeanocean
Created: Mon Feb 5 06:02:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7velll/nothing_after_whoosh/
---
So yesterday I RANDOMLY lost 3 lbs in one day somehow. I was really really frickin excited. So yesterday I restricted even more then forced myself to go to the gym and do cardio for an hour. AN HOUR. I burned off 600 cals, plus the 300 from my steps counted. I busted my ass. Drank tons of water etc. when I weighed myself this morning I did not budge one ounce from yesterday. I was naked, bowels and bladder empty. Itās kind of discouraging in a way but Iām still going to keep pushing and restrict. Does this happen to anyone else? What can I do to make the numbers keep going down?
[Intro] Hey everyone!
/u/tscxcvi
Created: Mon Feb 5 05:36:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7veh26/hey_everyone/
---
Iāve been lurking for a while and Iāve decided to introduce myself. It took me a long time to decide to post here because I donāt feel āsick enoughā. I donāt remember the last time I had normal eating habits, but for some reason I still feel like a fraud. Idk. Just wanted to say hi to all of you and that I think youāre all lovelyš
[Rant/Rave] I'm getting so angry
/u/ntagasf15685
Created: Mon Feb 5 05:23:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7veeqo/im_getting_so_angry/
---
I'm so fucking annoyed. Like I eat once or twice a day and starve most of the time but am still fat. I'm so fucking irritated like why the fuck can't my stupid fat stomach go away? Am just destined to be fat and kill myself?? Like do I just not eat anything at at all for 6 years or something before my chunky thighs shrink. The universe can kill me right now if this fat disgusting body doesn't go away. I'm getting so frustrated. I barely eat and yet I'm still so fat. It's driving me crazy like I'd rather just be dead if this my life in this stupid stupid fat suit. I don't think I deserve this.
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! February 05, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 5 05:15:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vedig/weekly_stats_update_february_05_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for February 05, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 05, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 5 05:15:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vedhl/daily_food_diary_february_05_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 05, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
My therapist just lectured me about fatlogic.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 5 04:56:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7veace/my_therapist_just_lectured_me_about_fatlogic/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm failing at what I'm good at.
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Mon Feb 5 04:52:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ve9qg/im_failing_at_what_im_good_at/
---
I feel like I'm failing at the one thing I'm good at.
I'm a bad wife, daughter, human, friend, partner, person, sister, artist...
But I was good at starving and losing. Lately I feel like there's a pit in me I need to fill with food. I can restrict for the day generally but I feel out of control. I constantly am thinking about eating. I never have felt this out of control in my disorder. And when I do eat? Like for example I had the weekend with my husband and had horrible food for dinner, and usually with each bite and afterwards my brain would override any endorphins and slap me in the face. This time I'm like, more, more, more.
Bad anorexic. Failing the only thing I put my whole mind and body into. If I can't be good at this I'm truly not good at anything at all.
I don't expect anything, I'm just rambling.
[Rant/Rave] This is never going to go away is it?
/u/nvrgonnaleavethisBED [5'10"|too many|F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 03:36:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vdyin/this_is_never_going_to_go_away_is_it/
---
I've had issues with food since I was 10, and issues with self esteem long before that. The only time I can say I actually liked myself is when I was on vyvanse and actually met my own standards, didn't eat, and, you know, was on an amphetamine. They're sort of known for grandiose thoughts. And even then I wasn't at my goal weight and thought I was too fat.
I don't know what to do. I'm a nihilist in general and life has gotten too hard for me to want to keep trying. Its become a really depressing cycle of doing well for a month or two (losing a lot of weight, exercising, seeing friends), and then crashing for anywhere from 6 months to 4 years. I'm not bipolar, I don't know if my depression is chemical, I don't know whats wrong with me. No diagnosis has fit for more than a few weeks at a time, and I don't react to any of the meds the way I should.
I think it's just me. I'm the issue. There's something about how I work or how I see the world that is the reason why I can't do anything right or feel satisfied with it when I do. And to fill that hole I just eat and eat and eat. I hate myself so much and I don't have any reason to live except for a tiny flicker of misguided belief that one day it WILL get better, but that flicker gets smaller every time the loop of failure repeats.
Its not that I want to kill myself so much as I wish I had never existed in the first place. I'll never meet my own standards. I'll never be fulfilled. I'll never be good looking enough or thin enough, and as I get older both of those will become even less attainable.
I can't take feeling like this any more. I can't take any more pills or see any more doctors or keep trying this new thing or that new thing or listening to my boyfriend who says everything is going to be okay even though he is athletic, and driven, and weighs less than me even though he is a couple inches taller and in really good shape and just doesn't get it at all.
I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to start over again tomorrow, and buy new supplements and make a new eating and work out plan and make THIS TIME, the one that sticks, but the rest of me is just so tired and so done. I'm too used to being fat to really get anxious and panicked enough to do anything about it anymore. I just feel like my life is just waiting till I'm unhappy enough to finally end it.
[Rant/Rave] Confessions :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 5 02:34:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vdpjm/confessions/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Wtf is going on with me
/u/figuredhood
Created: Mon Feb 5 02:30:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vdoyt/wtf_is_going_on_with_me/
---
Iāve been heavily restricting with exercise and went down 2.2 kilos in a week, and then after that everyday Iāve been gaining??? This canāt be possible because I know all I eat is 4 scoops of protein powder, 3 mini cucumbers, and a glass of salt water with lemon juice a day. Yet every day my weight goes up and now itās almost back at what I was two weeks before I started???
My stomach wonāt stop gurgling wtf is going on?? I swear I feel a difference but now seeing the scales rise I donāt know what I look like anymore.
Guys please help :(
[Rant/Rave] I had a Mcflurry and the regret is so real.
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 02:07:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vdlq7/i_had_a_mcflurry_and_the_regret_is_so_real/
---
[removed]
[Intro] [Intro] Diagnosed anorexic for years, supposedly recovered, now overweight.
/u/Deviiation [21 | F | LBMI 11.94 | CBMI 25.01 | GBMI 14-15]
Created: Mon Feb 5 01:26:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vdfx6/intro_diagnosed_anorexic_for_years_supposedly/
---
Hello. I'm 21, diagnosed anorexic from 11 to 16, inpatient for a year and then a few more months here and there. Even when I wasn't sick I was never overweight, but after the start of 2017 I just got into a bad state. Since near the end of 2017 I'd been losing weight again, but by now I'm overweight for the second time in my life. Tired and miserable, and hitting the restriction hard. That's about it. Hello!
[Other] Time to lose weight again
/u/yehetnini [168 cm | 50.7 kg | BMI 18 | 17 F]
Created: Mon Feb 5 01:26:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vdfwb/time_to_lose_weight_again/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Conflicted on What to Do With SO Regarding All This.
/u/ArgosaxDE
Created: Sun Feb 4 22:54:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vcrso/conflicted_on_what_to_do_with_so_regarding_all/
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My boyfriend doesn't know at all about any of my problems with all this. He has been going to the gym a lot more lately, counting calories, and has been generally living more healthy and controlled than before. There are a few things this does to me though.
1. Whenever he comments on the weight he's lost, I go into a desperation mode. Ill restrict to numbers way too low for me, or I just won't eat for days (of course followed by a binge).
2. I immediately go into a panic mode because I believe he's now skinner and flat out of my league.
3. Inevitably the conversation turns to me saying he looks great, and he says Im skinny. There's the one side where I get angry for some reason that I'm skinny from doing nothing. But the other part of me gets irrationally sad.... I don't know why.
4. This part isn't dysmorphia, but I'm flat out not a skinny person. I'm at the perfect average weight for my height, and my body doesn't wear it well. I either don't eat for up to a week when he says I look skinny, so I can meet his thoughts I guess? Or, I start binging because maybe I am skinny and don't even need to try.
All that text out of the way now. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings? We're not really at a point yet where I wanna admit my eating stuffs, so I'm at a loss at what I should do when this stuff happens. 1
[Rant/Rave] Hey at least there's a theme, right?
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | (treatment rip) | GW 95lbs]
Created: Sun Feb 4 22:53:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vcro0/hey_at_least_theres_a_theme_right/
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This morning I was so hungry from fasting that I thought I would throw up. Tonight I'm so full from binging that I feel like I'm going to throw up. Tomorrow, I'll try to eat like a normal human, and probably end up making myself throw up.
This is a fun and glamorous existence
[Rant/Rave] Not binging is easier when you're sober
/u/bunkbedsex [5'3 | CW: 130? | UGW: 99 | add me on peach]
Created: Sun Feb 4 22:40:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vcp9k/not_binging_is_easier_when_youre_sober/
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I feel as if EVERY time I go out and get drunk with my friends I come back home and have a free for all binge fest. Well, this weekend I decided to flake on everyone so I could avoid all that. I did two workout classes on Saturday and avoided super bowl food at a party I was supposed to attend. I stayed home and did fitness blender workouts and yoga. The way I see it -- you can't eat when you're working out.
But regardless, who cares if I might lose all my friends if I don't go out with them? All they do is drink, and I can be drunk when I'm skinny.
[Rant/Rave] Dinner with the bf
/u/PoemOfLifeItself
Created: Sun Feb 4 22:26:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vcmn6/dinner_with_the_bf/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I keep drunkenly confessing my ED to everyone
/u/heyheypicklejay
Created: Sun Feb 4 22:24:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vcm99/i_keep_drunkenly_confessing_my_ed_to_everyone/
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Long-time lurker here so here goes nothing!!!~~
So I've had a VERY obvious preoccupation with food and counting calories for the past two years and have dropped quite a bit of weight since. Most of my friends and family have noticed this and comment on it occasionally, but NO ONE has ever uttered a word about eating disorders around me (although Im paranoid that they've all been thinking it this entire time).
However, twice within the past month, Ive gone out and gotten so trashed to the point where Ive ended up drunkenly confessing everything from EC stacking to crying over vending-machine-honey-bun-binges to some of my friends.
as awful as it sounds, my biggest fear is the fact that my friends are now going to rat me out to my parents or try to stop me from continuing and reaching my goal weight.
I love getting drunk but I hate the honesty that ultimately comes with it ughhh.
/end rant
[Rant/Rave] Weird body dysmorphia - trouble acknowledging physical changes
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | SW: 163lbs | CW: 142lbs | GW: 130lbs (for now) | 19/F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 21:45:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vcepd/weird_body_dysmorphia_trouble_acknowledging/
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My experience with body dysmorphia is weird. I wouldn't say I feel bigger than I am but I can never acknowledge physical changes and will deny that I look any different despite losing weight. I tell myself that I must have always looked like this and any other changes like my clothes getting bigger are just me misremembering how they fit. I've lost 20lbs recently and a few of my pants still fit, which I take as meaning that I haven't *actually* gotten smaller (even though I rationally know that they were too small at my highest weight or they're strecthy).
Is anyone else like this? I guess it's different from the typical body dysmorphia experience because I'm a pretty accurate judge of what my body currently looks like (painfully average and far from skinny but not *fat* anymore), yet I can't seem to acknowledge that I've made progress and haven't always look like this.
[Rant/Rave] I'm back lol
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW ??| BMI 15.?|F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 21:42:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vce0o/im_back_lol/
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I've been back on my shit for a while even though I said goodbye a bit ago. But this last week was ALL BINGES. I've never done that before, ever. I hardly even binge usually. I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm completely out of control and am definitely fucking myself over here. I really need to pull my shit together and fix myself and continue following my plans because what the hell am I doing I'm inflating like a balloon. Any tips for my stupid uncontrollable ass?
[Rant/Rave] Wish me luck guys :/
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 4 21:34:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vcchf/wish_me_luck_guys/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] What do you wear when you know youāll be in pictures?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 21:32:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vcc78/what_do_you_wear_when_you_know_youll_be_in/
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Iām headed to Spain next month and I know that my friends will want to take lots of pictures. I always hate how I look in them and so Iām curious- what do you guys wear when you know youāll be in pictures to make yourself feel less terrible when you see the final result?
[Rant/Rave] I will not binge. I will not break this fast.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 4 21:07:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vc6k3/i_will_not_binge_i_will_not_break_this_fast/
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On mobile flair as help or rant or rave.
I am a tad over two days into hopefully a 5 day fast. I fucked up and binged for 4 days straight and spent too much money so to do damage control and regain my control I am just fasting then going to ease back into a fast restriction pattern where I fast two to three days out of the week and restrict the rest of the time under 400 closer to 250 or 300 though because going over 400 or 500 when I am restricting really triggers anxiety for me.
I have been really busy with worth but it has caused a lot of stress. I cook at a bar and there is a lot of greasy fried bar food but today unlike a lot of times I have gone without allowing my self anything. I would always tell my self that if I tried some thing "just once " to know what it wouls taste like I would relieve the craving and be done with it but that didn't happen.
I am in a position where I am the only person working for a few days I work 8 hours the next two days and then I work a 12 to 13 hour shift I spend all my shift on my feet cooking and going up and down a single flight of stairs to run food and bus tables but still figured it all into a sedentary BMR because I am convinced my body is an abnormally and doesn't need that but they it just bloats and retains food and water weight if I eat "normal" amounts.
A seperate rant about normal amounts. I never want to eat normal because the current normal is leading people to be obese I want to be dainty and hyper controlling of my eating and have people worry but also envy my control. Like eat two bites of a slice of cake at a birthday part of snack on a protein bar and feel full after less than half and save if for later in the day. I want to be fine on normal portions.
I don't know if I will ever not binge but I factored that into if I ever hit my goal weight I am going to try to lower than that when I fluctuate I still maintain the body I want. I don't know if I will ever hit my goal weight I have been yo yoing so close for over 10 years were I gave up and tried to recover until some thing just reignited the spark that I wasn't good enough.
So this is my post for accountability to my self and to the community. Tonight I am not going to binge. Maybe I will restrict but I want to keep fasting I want to fast until I get a day off then make a nice meal that fits in my restrictions and take it some place scenic to eat it. Like a nice park surrounded by nature.
That will be how I break this fast not over greasy fried food.
I feel weak but I am not going to cave. Fuck you Binge compulsion!
Willow.
[Help] Sodium question
/u/heartemoji
Created: Sun Feb 4 21:03:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vc5o8/sodium_question/
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So I got some stock cubes or broth to use to help feel satiated.. had a cube with boiling water and now my bowels are evacuating themselves.
Any one experience in this?
Help?
Is it bad I secretly feel like my weight will go down due to this? Lol
[Help] Everythingās sort of terribleāputting on weight.
/u/syntheticseasalt
Created: Sun Feb 4 20:33:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vbyoa/everythings_sort_of_terribleputting_on_weight/
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Ugh okay. So i am being forced by my parents (Iām a senior in high school) to gain 15 pounds by the end of Aprilāor else, they wonāt help pay for my college. Then i have to maintain that until i leave in August. Itās KILLING me to eat this much, but i have to go to school. I care about my education more than being skinny. Is there any way i can gain 15 pounds of muscle and not put on any fat? If so, how?
Iām trying to convince myself that i can gain 15-20 pounds and then drop it all really fast in the first semester of college. This means Iāll be fat for senior prom, fat for my trip to DC and all my pictures in my suit in the Congress building, fat in the summer. Is it worth it? Will i really lose the weight once i get to college?
[Rant/Rave] I wish......
/u/arandomnamebcimlazy [5ā6|CW:129|BMI:20.8|-97|Female|]
Created: Sun Feb 4 20:23:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vbw6p/i_wish/
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I wish I didnāt count calories. I wish I could go into a store and freely get what I want without having to check the numbers on the back. I wish I could go out with my friends, and not be afraid to eat anything. I wish I could go to the movies and enjoy the popcorn and snacks without wondering how many calories Iām consuming. I wish I didnāt think about what my next meal is gonna be after Iāve eaten. I wish I had the motivation to do the things that make me happy. I wish I could eat when Iām actually hungry, and not when itās mapped out, or scheduled. I wish I could cook dinner for myself without being afraid to add things like oil to my food. I wish I could go to a restaurant, and not have to look up the nutritional information. I wish I could control my desire to weigh myself everyday. I wish exercise was enjoyable again, and not a punishment. I wish I could recover. I wish I actually meant it and when I say I wanna recover. I wish I wasnāt so alone in this disorder. I wish I didnāt disappoint people. I wish I wasnāt afraid to enjoy a piece of cake, or some ice cream. I wish I didnāt hate myself. I wish that I I had a bright future away from this disorder. I wish I wasnāt afraid to ask for help. I wish I could fight this fucking depression. Iām turning into someone I donāt wanna be. Will this nightmare ever end. Will I ever have a normal thought process. I wanna die.
[Discussion] "Fasting" just a different word for restricting, or starving?
/u/ThermalAnvil [20 lbs lost]
Created: Sun Feb 4 19:53:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vbqa7/fasting_just_a_different_word_for_restricting_or/
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Ideally I want to fast for the next week. It would be a water fast, where I don't eat till next monday and only drink water (I think black coffee and a vitamin pill is not out of the question though.)
But it just seems like I'm basically saying "Hey I'm going to starve myself till next Monday since I think it's the easiest way to lose weight" and that screams anorexic, something I use to be before going on the other side of the spectrum and binge eating myself to twice my weight.
But there's such a community behind fasting that I'm not sure if it's okay, or just a way of dressing up the word "starvation"
[Help] Overcoming guilt for throwing away food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 4 19:47:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vbozc/overcoming_guilt_for_throwing_away_food/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Why
/u/lostinitt [5'6" | CW: 97 | GW: 92| 25F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 19:33:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vbmaa/why/
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[removed]
[Help] If I don't stop binge eating I'm genuinely going to end my life. I really need help and I'm too scared to ask for it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 4 19:30:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vblu4/if_i_dont_stop_binge_eating_im_genuinely_going_to/
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[deleted]
[Other] Friendly reminder that it's okay if all you did today was make it through the day
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 84lbs | 15.9 | -23lbs | f]
Created: Sun Feb 4 19:07:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vbh3m/friendly_reminder_that_its_okay_if_all_you_did/
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It's okay if you didn't get around to doing that thing.
It's okay if you ate more than you planned to.
It's okay if you didn't eat enough.
It's okay if you lost your temper.
It's okay if the number on the scale went up, or down, or didn't move at all.
It's okay if you just want to put on your pjs and watch your favorite show.
It's okay if you didn't get out of bed.
It's okay to feel your feelings, whatever they may be- the fact that you feel them is all the validation you need.
It's okay to have a bad hair day.
It's okay to cancel plans.
It's okay to have a snack.
It's okay to make mistakes.
It's okay to cry.
It's okay to have a bad day.
It's okay to have a good day, too.
It's okay to forgive yourself.
It's okay to be kind to yourself.
I'm proud of you <3
***
I wrote this as an exercise recommended by a ghost-of-therapists-past, and I wanted to share it with all of you in case anyone needed a reminder <3 whatever you did today was perfectly enough.
Much love x
[Rant/Rave] I feel guilty about this but I want attention again, I want to lose more, I want to be told how thin Iām getting.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sun Feb 4 18:52:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vbe1c/i_feel_guilty_about_this_but_i_want_attention/
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When I first got into my ED I lost 30 lbs in a year or so. My family worried and literally asked me if I had one. My boss confronted me out of concern (just checking in because apparently many coworkers as well as himself were worried). I said I had a thyroid issue š¤¦š»āāļø
My students who witnessed my weight loss were worried and constantly said I was too thin.
Iāve been at my CW give or take for 2 years now. I feel horrible but I feel so inadequate.
I need to lose. Iāve been dropping lines about my weight. Seeing what people think......no one seems to think anything idk.
But most people who know me now, just know this version. I feel fat and not good enough.
Tomorrow Iām restricting, exercising, and consuming copious amounts of Diet Coke and coffee.
I need help with motivation, Iāve been so depressed.
95lbs by summer, that or Iām done with myself.
[Rant/Rave] I binged into obesity. I'm off the rails. I'm going insane.
/u/chicklet2011 [5'6" | 179# | ??% | GW 120# | F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 18:52:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vbdzw/i_binged_into_obesity_im_off_the_rails_im_going/
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Ex-ballerina. I started when I was three and was serious about it until an injury took me out when I was a teenager. I was raised in the perfect breeding ground for body-image issues. Now, I can't find the right place for my body. I want to be thin and delicate, but I also want to be strong and powerful. I haven't been a serious dancer in a decade but I'm trapped. I miss my athletic body, but even when I had it, it was never thin enough.
I still eat like I'm spending 20+ hours in the studio every week, even though I'm currently a lazy fuck, stuck in the few months between my first degrees and law school. I gained 45 lbs during my last year of undergrad.
I'm fucking obese. I binge, and binge, and binge. Then I restrict, and restrict, and restrict. I'm stuck in the perpetual "lose 30 lbs, then gain 35 lbs" cycle. My "goal weight" has crept up and up and up. I'm fucking 185lbs. I "should" be 120 lbs. Nowadays I would be so glad just to be back in the "normal" range. My old goal weight 99lbs seems impossible.
I should get off my stupid ass and fucking exercise like I used to so I could justify the mountains of food I eat. But I don't. I sit around fucking eating because I hate the body I have.
I need to lose weight. My disordered eating has made me obese. I need to be a healthy weight again. How do I do this? How do I fucking restrict myself down so much weight and fucking stay there?
[Discussion] Proud about being the obvious anorexic woman at Target?
/u/little_chicken_wing [5ā5ā | 111.4 | 18.5]
Created: Sun Feb 4 18:34:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vbabk/proud_about_being_the_obvious_anorexic_woman_at/
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As Iām walking toward the registers I realize that Iām carrying two XS shirts, a pair of 00 shorts, and three packs of advant edge carb control shakes. May as well just fucking yell at the cashier that I have an eating disorder. š
Iām also feeling weirdly proud about the way people must perceive me.
Does anyone else get this?
[Discussion] GW blues
/u/mkaylie
Created: Sun Feb 4 18:31:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vb9r2/gw_blues/
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Long story short Iāve reached my GW of an 18.5 BMI via good āol bulimia and some fasting/low restriction. Now that Iām here Iām, big surprise, still not satisfied w my body. My instinct is to keep losing but at this point Iām starting to look objectively gross and I know that being 10 pounds lighter will only exacerbate that. I feel like my only option is to aim for maintenance and get back into lifting so that I can keep my smallness but also firm up? Bc my abs are nonexistent and Iām working that glorious overall skinny fat look. Anyone else having a similar experience? Feeling quite disillusioned atm.
[Discussion] Chocolate covered Katie
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 17:52:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vb1x7/chocolate_covered_katie/
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Anyone ever try any of her recipes? If so, what was good?
I'm really intrigued by: https://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2012/06/18/cauliflower-chocolate-cake/
[Discussion] I binged today. Did anyone else?
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 66.6 lbs | 12.6 | 12.4 lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Feb 4 17:39:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vaz63/i_binged_today_did_anyone_else/
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1500-2000 cal, not my worst binge, but still disgusting. I just want to talk to others who binged. I feel like Iām not a real anorexic bc the hospital some how switched me from restrictive subtype to b/p subtype
[Rant/Rave] Stomach pain after a binge after long restriction
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 92lbs | 13.84 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 17:10:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vasqh/stomach_pain_after_a_binge_after_long_restriction/
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So I've been restricting to about 500 to 800 cals a day for a while now. Then I had my birthday dinner. It was very good, I let myself indulge and enjoy my meal. But leftover cake, it was PB chocolate chip cheesecake, and there's so much leftover. I already ate like a third of it. I'm having really bad stomach pain and a bit of chest pain. I will also be home alone for the evening with the rest of it. I'm probably gonna b/p it even though I know I shouldn't. I just hurt so much and I don't care about my health anymore
[Discussion] What are you most looking forward to at your UGW?
/u/aerienne [5'4" | CW: 139.0 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 16:57:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vaq38/what_are_you_most_looking_forward_to_at_your_ugw/
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For me, it's shopping.
Found the cutest suede moto jacket. One left, size small. It fit with room to spare and I loved it. However, if a small fits me now, it's sure as hell not going to fit when I drop 30 more pounds. So I didn't get it.
I hate having to buy anything right now because they don't last. I can't have *no clothes*, but I can't invest in anything either. I'm job hunting and trying to find outfits for interviews sucks.
---
Besides life and everything, what are you holding off doing until you're at or close to your UGW?
[Discussion] DAE have friends who obsess about their eating?
/u/subtleskeleton
Created: Sun Feb 4 16:13:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vagdb/dae_have_friends_who_obsess_about_their_eating/
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I'm fucking 28, right? And at 14 my friends realized my relationship with food was awful and I was outed as a bulimic.
Whatever. Since then, everyone thinks I'm in recovery (ha!) and shit is fine. But every now and again if I change my diet or don't eat enough at a party I get a weird ass confrontation. Recently a friend looked at some of my insta gym selfies and told someone else '[my real name] is looking skinnyš'
I'm pissed. I don't confront anyone when they overeat and get fat and i hate that my body is under constant scrutiny and I'm forever having to cover my tracks to maintain my lovely ED and have a social life.
Does anyone else have nosey ass friends?
[Help] iām really struggling guys.
/u/XfriendlymushroomX
Created: Sun Feb 4 16:11:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vafub/im_really_struggling_guys/
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ive been trying to ārecoverā and itās not even working. apparently i binge whether i restrict or not so i may as well just restrict as a precaution. for like 2 weeks i ate ānormallyā where i would eat about 1500-1650 calories then spend about an hour and a half at the gym, putting me near the 1100 calorie mark for intake each day.
iām in school from 7am-4pm monday through thursday (but awake at 5am bc itās a 30 min drive to get there) so i felt like i needed more food for energy. especially bc itās hair school and last week, we were in the middle of applying mock lightener and my arms went weak and kind of numb and i almost passed out :-(.
so i upped my intake to 1500-1650ish and ate more protein and it did help but now iāve binged last night and just feel like shit. i ate my normal 1500 day plus working out but THEN for some reason i had a pint of halo top, a quest bar, half a jar of peanut butter, and a whole box of frosted flakes with milk :-((((. i feel worthless and huge.
my lowest weight i got to was 124 when i was on break from school and happier. i weighed myself today with clothes on (def some water weight and bloat from last night but still) and i was 135. i want to try fasting at least 3 days. any tips to not pass out while in hair school?
i feel at such a loss. for the past 3 weeks, iāve cried every single day at least 2-3 times. i honestly donāt even know if i enjoy doing hair but i tried normal college and also hated that. i feel like i have no talent and no drive. the only thing i can control is my weight and how i look. pls help lol.
tips for a fast, maybe tips on dealing with depression/anxiety? also tips for what to do after i break the fast. iām thinking maybe take a protein bar and protein shakes with me to school to sip/graze on throughout the day so i donāt feel weak and then practice discipline so i donāt eat when iām home. kind of like IF but make my eating time when iām at school and my fasting time when iām at home? sorry for formatting btw, iām on my phone. thank you, and appreciate this sub so much. no one irl understands what iām going through rn š
[Rant/Rave] I thought it couldn't get worse
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 4 16:02:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vadqs/i_thought_it_couldnt_get_worse/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] When did people start noticing?
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 199.2 | GW2 180 | UGW 120 | 34.3 | 25 F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 15:58:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vacwe/when_did_people_start_noticing/
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When did other people start noticing your weight loss or suspect you have an ED?
Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I feel like I'm giving off all kinds of of ED warning signs. I'm still fat so I doubt anyone will be worried for a long time.
[Rant/Rave] A stranger just snapped a photo of me C/Sing
/u/phoenixxxskeleton
Created: Sun Feb 4 15:57:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vacmx/a_stranger_just_snapped_a_photo_of_me_csing/
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Wtf. Maybe Iām really retarded for doing this while driving... but I really like chewing and spitting while driving because I can just hit a drive thru and when Iām finished I can dump the evidence at some rando gas station trash can.
This car full of dudes pulled up beside me at a red light and I acted normal until it turned green and then I kept doing my thing... I didnāt think they saw anything. I started driving behind them while spitting my onion rings into this Amazon envelope in my lap and all of a sudden two dudes in the back seat 180 and turn around to look at me and whip out their phones and start taking pictures of me with the flash and everything!!!! What the actual fuck?!? I feel really humiliated and I canāt believe theyāre sitting there laughing at how fucked up I am.
[Discussion] Is anyone else feeling extremely triggered by kylieās pregnancy???
/u/notathrowaway836
Created: Sun Feb 4 15:51:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vab9s/is_anyone_else_feeling_extremely_triggered_by/
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[removed]
[Other] I'm going to start jogging
/u/finnkat
Created: Sun Feb 4 15:47:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7vaa5z/im_going_to_start_jogging/
---
I know this is kind of a stupid post but I don't really have anywhere else to talk about this. I've been thinking of it for a while cause I'm at a pretty low weight (maintaining around 90lbs) but I still look like I have a baby bump and my thighs are super flabby so I want to get rid of that. I'm super nervous, I've never been jogging before but I've been looking at the couch to 5k program and some other things and there's a park .5 miles from my house so I feel like that's a good place to start? I'm going to go tomorrow when my mom's at work, idk why but I don't really want her to know I'm going. Anways, additional advice is always welcome! Please wish me luck and pray I don't get kidnapped lol
[Discussion] Food For Thought š¤
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 4 15:42:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7va8yk/food_for_thought/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/7v99hn/til_that_in_1965_a_morbidly_obese_man_didnt_eat/?utm_source=reddit-android
[Discussion] Thinner but feel bigger?
/u/Koi-Nami [5'7 | CW 114 | BMI 17.9 | GW: 100 | 20 F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 15:38:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7va80h/thinner_but_feel_bigger/
---
Does anyone else have this issue? Whenever I lose weight (I am 111.4 atm), I feel more fat then when I was 115. It's like the skinnier I am, the fatter I view myself. It never ends.
[Rant/Rave] So hungry all the time
/u/ImNotaTreeImaShrub [5'5" CW:190lbs (-5) LW 115lbs | GW 130 lbs | UGW 115lbs | 32F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 15:36:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7va7pa/so_hungry_all_the_time/
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So Iām restricting again after a long time of compulsive overeating and binge eating. And Iām so damn hungry all the time. Itās been 3 weeks now and whereas usually Iād be used to it by now, itās so hard. I think the reason is because I take pregabalin (lyrica) for chronic pain, and itās well known to increase appetite. Iām managing not to eat but the stomach pains are horrible.
I donāt really know what to do. I went out tonight and bought loads of low cal broths and Diet Coke to try and quell the hunger and I just hope constantly sipping on something helps me. Iāve also dug out some konjac root pills I have (they expand in your stomach) and will try taking those with every meal. Wish me luck please!
[Rant/Rave] New Low Point
/u/clovenpine
Created: Sun Feb 4 15:13:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7va25g/new_low_point/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] overreacting to life tbh
/u/thelittlestbishop
Created: Sun Feb 4 15:06:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7va0ap/overreacting_to_life_tbh/
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I hate my relationship with weight and food, which I'm sure y'all can understand. Most of the time I don't even feel valid because I've never truly lost enough weight to be underweight, it's just going up and down the same five kilos. It drives me nuts. And sometimes I just say "Fuck it, I don't have an ed, I can eat whatever I want" and then I overeat because I don't know when enough is enough and I gain weight and panic and I hate myself all over again.
I've just gotten out of a "I'm fine" phase because I went up to 54.6 kilos and at 1.51m that puts me in the tail end of the healthy bmi and my mom just told me and my brother to stop buying so many bags of chips and my brother said it was my fault for telling him to go to the store with me and he said that I really "overdid it" at the store bc I bought more stuff than him, stuff that I haven't even /eaten/ we bought them last night, I had half a bag of chips but yeah, I overdid it.
I feel like such a fatass I wish I had some more God damn self control to not put food in my mouth the second it's in front of me
[Rant/Rave] I gave myself one last binge for my birthday.
/u/keylime-dream
Created: Sun Feb 4 14:45:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v9v2r/i_gave_myself_one_last_binge_for_my_birthday/
---
I didnāt want any presents for my birthday this year. Iāve been on the road to ārecoveryā for several months now.
For my birthday I gave myself a binge. Even though Iāve already had one on Monday and one last night for my birthday dinner.
Today Iāve had boba tea and fluffy cake and pork buns and pastries. Cheesy crackers, smoked fish, persimmons, and hard candy. And Iāll have dinner too if Iām still hungry.
Actually today isnāt even my actual birthday. Tomorrow is.
Because tomorrow Iām starting over. Iām never going to binge or restrict again. Iām going to see my therapist every week if possible. Iām not going to overeat anymore. Iām not going to pig out on sweets. Iām going to have self control and and mindfulness and restraint. Iām going to be *normal.*
Happy 16th, Sierra.
[Rant/Rave] Pad Thai has forsaken me
/u/IiIbeansprout
Created: Sun Feb 4 14:43:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v9uj9/pad_thai_has_forsaken_me/
---
I constantly have a craving for Pad Thai. I save up hundreds of calories a week for that delicious, nutty, saucy plate of rice noodle goodness. My mom, yesterday, bought me a plate of Pad Thai to bring back to school from Pei Wei (haven't had theirs before) and since I had already eaten, I just brought it back and it's in my fridge.
HOLY FUDGE guys. I've been estimating 800-1200cal for Pad Thai based on MFP estimates because I usually order from hole-in-the-wall Thai places. Pei Wei's? 1,592 CALORIES PER PLATE.
I'm dead. I spent probably 7 minutes splitting up the plate into tiny ~100cal portions for me to eat for the next week. I'm ashamed of myself for eating so much of it so often. I guess this explains why I haven't been losing?
[Help] couldn't purge and i feel disgusting
/u/euphoria_ever [5'9 | cw:117lbs | bmi:17 | gw:100 | 20F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 14:20:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v9p02/couldnt_purge_and_i_feel_disgusting/
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i ate some donuts and i thought they'd come out and like only some of it did and i got frantic but only liquid would come out and i tried drinking more water and waiting 5 minutes for it to settle but then still only the water came out and my chest was burning and my heart was beating so fast i just couldn't do it anymore. i went upstairs and ate another 1600 cal of potato chips and i just feel so disgusting. i'm not even going to bother trying to purge it. i deserve it. why did i even eat. i hate myself. i was having a good day until i ate.
edit: can my fucking heart stop beating IM HAVING A PANIC ATTACK THINKING ABOUT THIS. why did i eat. my chest hurts so much.
[Help] Needing Some kind words from you guys
/u/vaporeevie [5'5" | 115.7 | 19.3 | -31.3 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 14:20:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v9ows/needing_some_kind_words_from_you_guys/
---
(On mobile, flair help)
I was at my lowest weight back in October and I have been gaining slowly but surely since then. Probably about seven to ten pounds, I no longer have a scale. This is because of binges, unsuccessful purging out of nowhere when I've done it for years, and eating out of guilt because of my partner. Somehow time has got away from me and it's already February and I'm so crushed.
Some days, being in my body gives me full on panic attacks. Some days, waking up it makes me skin crawl. I'm going to restrict again because my "recovery" has robbed me of all my hard work. Has anyone been in my shoes and got back down to their low weight after gaining in recovery?
Just need some words of encouragement that this weight gain doesn't have to be forever. I feel weighed down by my body in every way and it's ruining my mental state.
[Tip] An amazing interactive self-care guide. WARNING: first step is if you've eaten recently (you can ignore / say you ate already, and the language is very gentle anyways).
/u/lilmissdisappearing [5'3" | 100.8 | 18.35 | 22F | š@lilmiss]
Created: Sun Feb 4 14:03:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v9ko2/an_amazing_interactive_selfcare_guide_warning/
---
http://philome.la/jace_harr/you-feel-like-shit-an-interactive-self-care-guide/play
[Discussion] Bloating during recovery
/u/emily5782 [5'4| 125 |21.8| -25 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 13:47:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v9gql/bloating_during_recovery/
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Long time lurker first time poster. So I've really struggled with bulimia for the last 7 years or so, but I'm finally beginning the recovery process and so far I feel like I've done better than I expected myself to. HOWEVER, one thing that is making this really hard for me is the bloating. It's exclusively in my stomach so I look like I'm pregnant, and it's making getting better difficult as hell. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this and if so how they dealt with the bloating/fears of gaining weight in general. Thanks!
[Discussion] most purge friendly place ever
/u/fortunate-foolx [62 in. | 217 lb | 39 | -13 | 18F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 13:34:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v9dh6/most_purge_friendly_place_ever/
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[removed]
[Help] Methods for reducing headaches?
/u/jallopsmith
Created: Sun Feb 4 13:20:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v99uz/methods_for_reducing_headaches/
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Ever since I started restricting ive been getting pretty bad headaches throughout the day. Anyone have a solution w/o eating (or at least very many calories).
[Discussion] Do you feel more motivated or self-conscious at the gym?
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Sun Feb 4 13:19:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v99nv/do_you_feel_more_motivated_or_selfconscious_at/
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Just curious what you all think, those of you who go to the gym. Feel free to discuss like just how the gym makes you feel in general Iām just asking because for me itās a mixture of both.
[Other] Bujo as a food tracker!
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Sun Feb 4 13:17:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v9970/bujo_as_a_food_tracker/
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Hi guys! I know most of us here love to obsessively track multiple facets of our life. So me being artistic decided to join in the fun and stared a bujo a few weeks ago!
It helps prevent eating because I draw in it instead of eat. So far I have set up a daily diary to log in my food and calories for the day, and
(TMI) Restriction sucks the sex drive out of me and I don't like it because I don't want to deprive my SO of sexual activity on my part. So I drew food I like and I colour one in every time we partake in sexual activity. (END OF TMI)
And I also set up a self care page. I never binge or go above my BMR as I'm really tall and my BMR is 1400 or so, but I feel bad when I eat more than 800 calories and to me it feels like a binge even though it's not, and in that page I sort of try to make myself feel better about eating 1000-1300 calories on the weekend especially.
TLDR: I set up a bujo.
(http://imgur.com/6FmTDwC.jpg)
(http://imgur.com/s5oEMmk.jpg)
(http://imgur.com/3LveaSN.jpg)
(http://imgur.com/vsCFfBv.jpg)
[Rant/Rave] Really upset by what happened at the gym today
/u/sarajanebookish
Created: Sun Feb 4 13:02:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v95ga/really_upset_by_what_happened_at_the_gym_today/
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I went to the gym and there were two vacant elliptical machines, with a woman standing between them. When I asked her which she was using, she said she was "saving" them for when her boyfriend arrived.
I got on one of them thinking I'd get off when he got there, and she stalked off. 10 minutes later, she came back with the guy and they walked up behind me and he loudly said,"Yeah, you're right, she's a bitch."
I'm so upset. I would have gotten off if she had politely asked, and I'm torn between feeling as if I had the right to use it when they weren't but also feeling as if I don't even want to go back in case I see them again.
Edit: THANK YOU all so much for the supportive feedback. This is just THE best group of people. When I go back to the gym tomorrow, I am going to ask to talk to the director of member services and tell him what happened. I just want to double-check with him that I did nothing wrong and they don't allow people to "save" equipment. Thanks again!
[Discussion] Orthostatic hypotension
/u/InterestingPiano
Created: Sun Feb 4 12:58:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v949t/orthostatic_hypotension/
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DAE love this feeling?? It makes me feel so powerful.
Granted, there are times when itās a TAD too much and i end up falling over before i can grab hold of something, but ya know..
[Other] Made a peach two weeks ago
/u/parawhour
Created: Sun Feb 4 12:32:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v8xre/made_a_peach_two_weeks_ago/
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Does anyone wanna add me? I have a few people added from this sub as well as some that my friend (also from this sub) sent me via her Peach contact list.
My username is mozzarellamami (in reference to the video of me I posted on r/proEDmemes that a lot of you guys seemed to like lol). Please add me and interact with me! I sometimes shut down and wonāt respond for a couple days but I just got out of that depressive mode so if anyone wants to talk or needs advice or a person to vent to about ANYTHING (ED related or not) please feel free to add me and message me!!!
[Help] I have a very stupid question about diet soda...
/u/KissMySlitWrist [Moo]
Created: Sun Feb 4 12:20:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v8umd/i_have_a_very_stupid_question_about_diet_soda/
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Is it still horrible for your teeth if you drink it through a straw? I've always been told carbonation is awful for your teeth and I'm a bit of a freak about mine. I got a free can of diet soda that I saved for my fast today and holy shit guys this stuff is magic.
I'm drinking it through a straw and taking a sip of water between soda sips... Am I insane? Am I minimizing damage?
[Discussion] still feeling super hungry after eating??
/u/cisheterpatriarchy
Created: Sun Feb 4 12:18:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v8u8c/still_feeling_super_hungry_after_eating/
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i've been restricting quite low recently + OMAD few days of the week and since then i always feel hungry even after i eat. yesterday i binged pretty bad and today i ate two meals and felt like i could fit in another like 3 meals ?
if i'm honest i kind of like the feeling of an empty stomach! does anyone else get this?
[Discussion] Does anyone have unrealistic ideas of what they will like like at a certain BMI?
/u/AnaBrideToBe
Created: Sun Feb 4 12:08:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v8rqy/does_anyone_have_unrealistic_ideas_of_what_they/
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Mini rant to go with the question:
I've picked a goal weight for my wedding and I was thinking I am going to look so fat at it until it hit me, I'll be close to the same BMI as my fiancee is now. He's not skinny but he's not anywhere near fat like I see myself at that BMI. The BMI I have in mind is totally healthy but I'm afraid I'll still have a huge belly even though there's no way I'll look as bad as I see myself in my head. It's making me really stressed and wanting to lose more weight even though the number I came up with is what I felt was reasonable and safe... plus I can't change my mind to much because I think I'd die if my dress didn't fit. My head is such a weird and confusing place and I really hope someone can relate.
[Help] Please estimate calories in one bite of corn bread before I binge the tf out of super bowl food šš
/u/motivatedcactus [5'3" | CW 114.5 | BMI 20.84 | UGW skinny | 18F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 12:04:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v8qt2/please_estimate_calories_in_one_bite_of_corn/
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Happy super bowl guys, Iām at my boyfriends and his mom brought up cornbread to try cuz she added rosemary. I took a small bite because she wanted to know if I thought it was good. Imagine a sample at a bakery they give out, about that size. I only had about half but itās freaking me out. When all my calories arenāt perfectly measured and known I āgive upā on the day and go wild.
[Rant/Rave] Itās either binge or restrict thereās no in between
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword
Created: Sun Feb 4 11:13:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v8dvs/its_either_binge_or_restrict_theres_no_in_between/
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I was supposed to fast today and I was resisting so well until I was forced to go to dinner and broke it early.
Instead of that bring it, I ate an entire BAG of raisins, a pack of rice cakes, one of my few snacks for the week, a pack of mentos and sour sticks.
Wtf self. After a weekend of terrible binging I canāt even restrict right. I fucking hate my fat ass self. I am so upset rn. I wish I could do today all over again. I fucking hate myself
Edit: oh and a cookie. :))))))))))
[Discussion] Music and general Inspo thread
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 4 11:02:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v8ayj/music_and_general_inspo_thread/
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On mobile flair as discussion?
So I use music to cope a lot. I wrote and play is but also listen to it a lot. O make spotify playlists and Pandora stations and always try to find new songs.
Some of the songs that have hit me lately that tend to be more ED/depression related.
Bleed like me- Garbage
Celebrity skin, doll parts and skinny little bitch by Hole
Been gravitating toward more angry angsty female vocalists lately.
What are you all listening to me what is inspiring to you? Not necessarily strictly thinspo but maybe stuff that just resonates with you.
[Other] Got really drunk and apparently popped a handful of lax before going to bed
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -58 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Sun Feb 4 10:56:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v89dp/got_really_drunk_and_apparently_popped_a_handful/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE weigh whites/yolks and log separately?
/u/OldCrowFreakShow [5'7 | 24F | ā«]
Created: Sun Feb 4 10:52:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v88gp/dae_weigh_whitesyolks_and_log_separately/
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It started innocently enough, removing a yolk from my scrambled eggs in the morning to make more room for cheese at lunch. Soon things snowballed into a shitty mess because of course they did, and now I've had to add another tedious step to the long list of "How to Make a Meal that I can Almost Enjoy Tasting."
Just broke a yolk before it could be measured and boy does this feel cruddy, even though it only varies by a few calories every time so *what's the big deal anyway?*
Who else? And what other annoying obsessive idiosyncrasy is coming up next?
[Discussion] All you can eat buffets
/u/idonthavea_cat
Created: Sun Feb 4 10:49:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v87t6/all_you_can_eat_buffets/
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What are some of your experiences at an all u can eat buffet? To binge/purge mainly. Did anyone notice or say anything to you?
For me an elder man came up and said I have quite the appetite, I think he just wanted to speak to someone to be honest but if it came from anyone else I think I'd have a panic attack.
[Rant/Rave] It's Super Bowl Sunday and I don't know whether to binge all day or fast until I get to my friend's party
/u/flowersnpowers
Created: Sun Feb 4 10:39:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v8598/its_super_bowl_sunday_and_i_dont_know_whether_to/
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[removed]
[Discussion] February 4th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 10:36:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v84qw/february_4th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What is the weather like today?
āļø
[Discussion] Help with a meal plan?
/u/Throwaway412160987
Created: Sun Feb 4 10:32:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v83q5/help_with_a_meal_plan/
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So my fatass has been on a fucking binge cycle for 2 weeks now, fuckin pms man. So tomorrow Iām restricting to 264 calories to undo todays binge. Any ideas for a meal plan? So I was thinking nothing for breakfast, then a boiled egg for lunch, then a salad of some sort for dinner. Any ideas are appreciated.
[Rant/Rave] I'd really appreciate if my binge cycle could end now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 4 09:45:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v7s0z/id_really_appreciate_if_my_binge_cycle_could_end/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v7s0z/id_really_appreciate_if_my_binge_cycle_could_end/
[Discussion] Any1 here raw vegan?
/u/pathetiqe
Created: Sun Feb 4 09:27:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v7o1x/any1_here_raw_vegan/
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Iāve been thinking about it lately and I just want to know more from someoneās perspective!
[Other] SO moved out and I feel numb.
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | -51.4 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 09:14:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v7l4m/so_moved_out_and_i_feel_numb/
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I have always eaten my feelings away but now I can relate to everyone who says they can't eat while they're depressed. It's like my body has paused everything. I can't do anything. I'm trying to catch up on class work, and ride the waves of sadness. I have to work tonight. Hasn't even been 24 hours and I miss him so much. I was so ready for my life to turn around.
[Help] Help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 4 09:14:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v7l0g/help/
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[deleted]
[Help] 3,000 calorie binge
/u/kiwiismytruelove
Created: Sun Feb 4 08:57:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v7hde/3000_calorie_binge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "How are you so skinny when you eat so much? It's not fair!"
/u/supersecretobsession [178cm | CW: 58.3kg | BMI: 17.93(new)/18.40(old) | GW: 55.5 | 20F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 08:56:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v7h2g/how_are_you_so_skinny_when_you_eat_so_much_its/
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Said to me by my boyfriend yesterday.
For some context, I've been in a bit of a binge mood for the past few days, for some reason triggered by the fact that I was at my lowest adult weight a few days ago. There is no logic here, but that's not the point.
He knows about my eating issues so I was surprised when he said that! If his brother hadn't also been in the room I would have responded honestly, saying I just starve myself to make up for it later. Unfortunately I had to just smile and sort of shrug, when really I just wanted to be mad at him for making it seem so easy and effortless on my part.
Sorry if this is irrelevant, just wanted to vent a bit.
[Rant/Rave] Something not so chill happened last night
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 4 08:18:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v796b/something_not_so_chill_happened_last_night/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Seroquel (Long)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 4 08:02:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v75z7/seroquel_long/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE get irritated when SO comments about other ppls bodies?
/u/N0thng2L0se
Created: Sun Feb 4 07:09:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v6wil/dae_get_irritated_when_so_comments_about_other/
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*On mobile app, so canāt add flair, but I am 5ā5 104lbs and BMI is 17.5.*
Struggling a lot lately, and my husband is well aware of my ed past. (He visited me every weekend in another state while I was inpatient just months after we met.) I try to hide my behaviors and not be obvious about restricting. He made a comment about an actress this morning, saying wow, she gained a lot of weight. First, he got the actress wrong, second, she is thin and gorgeous. It makes me feel like, if she is big, what do you think of my body?
I refused to eat breakfast and ran to bed.
Anyone else get worked up when someone makes comments about the way other ppl look? Do you tell those closest to you that it bothers you?
[Rant/Rave] I fit into a Primark size 8 cami
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Sun Feb 4 07:00:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v6ure/i_fit_into_a_primark_size_8_cami/
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[removed]
[Goal] What I want
/u/flowerxng [5'5.5''| cw: 102 | i just wanted to be happy]
Created: Sun Feb 4 06:59:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v6uo1/what_i_want/
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I want to be skinny.
I want to lose weight.
I want to go back to where I was.
I want to be sick enough that people notice.
I want to feel the whoosh of losing weight.
But you know what I also want?
I want to go to my dream college.
I want to get good grades.
I want to swim in college.
I want to be successful.
I don't want to be sitting in front of my laptop, ten years from now, and realize that I've wasted half my life over my eating disorder while all my friends are in grad school or working or starting a family or just in general, succeeding at life. I don't want to be where I was three years ago, forced into a hospital, helpless as all my friends enjoyed their summer.
It's not that I don't want to lose weight anymore. I just care about something else more. For now.
[Help] God only knows how much weight I would lose if only I could take a goddamn crap!
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 145.2 | GW: 130 | -21.6 | UGW: 100 | F24]
Created: Sun Feb 4 06:56:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v6u3k/god_only_knows_how_much_weight_i_would_lose_if/
---
Y'all understand. I NEED to poop. NEED TO. it's been almost 7 days without having taken a legit poop. I'm *super* careful about lax, only take dulcolax once a month. But I really wanna poop. How often can I take stimulant lax ***WITHOUT*** my innards becoming reliant on it?
[Discussion] Skinny Cow low fat high protein pints
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 145.2 | GW: 130 | -21.6 | UGW: 100 | F24]
Created: Sun Feb 4 06:25:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v6pa8/skinny_cow_low_fat_high_protein_pints/
---
Yo awesome people! So I just found out Skinny Cow has pints similar to Halo Top and all the other diet ice creams, but I have been able to find literally no reviews about whether or not it's good. Has anyone tried it?
Would eating around 500 calories every 24 hours be effective?
/u/pathetiqe
Created: Sun Feb 4 05:55:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v6kmx/would_eating_around_500_calories_every_24_hours/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Has anyone here developed gastroparesis as a result of bulimia/purging?
/u/ineedtogetlighter [5'4 | CW: 139.4 lbs | -15 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | Male]
Created: Sun Feb 4 05:32:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v6hf1/has_anyone_here_developed_gastroparesis_as_a/
---
I'm being tested for some stomach problems at the moment, if I had a personal guess it'd be GP (not that I'm in any way medically knowledgable) just because it can be caused by bulimia/purging, and I never had the symptoms before I developed my ED years and years ago
Has anyone here had this happen to them? Is there any way to improve it if that is what is wrong?
Thanks so much!
[Rant/Rave] Woooosh!
/u/fatty_mayonaise [5'7'' | jabba | GW 112 | -9 | 29F]
Created: Sun Feb 4 05:31:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v6hba/woooosh/
---
Wow. I was skeptical, but the woosh is REAL, guys! I was down 2.4lbs yesterday after a week stuck at the same weight, thought that was my woosh. Then yesterday there's no way I ate below my TDEE. Went out to my breakfast with my husband and had an omelette and buttered toast, friends over for lunch with homemade cheesesteaks (veggie burger instead of steak for me, but that bread and cheese though), then or for my mom's birthday last night with a GIANT piece of salmon, some bites of risotto, a couple bites of dessert, 2 glasses of prosecco, and a vodka tonic. Ugh. I felt so bloated and sluggish this morning, but I just got on the scale and by some miracle am down 4LBS from yesterday!! How??! And why??! I don't know, but I'll take it. š
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 04, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Feb 4 05:11:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v6epx/daily_food_diary_february_04_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 04, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Feb 4 05:11:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v6elq/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
---
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Help] Month-long binge
/u/Abby_Road88
Created: Sun Feb 4 04:16:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v67p2/monthlong_binge/
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Last year I did so well. I ate a piece of fruit once a day for 5 days a week, stopped drinking booze and lost 40 lbs! Since the school year started(Iām a teacher) Iāve gained all my weight back. I feel like I canāt stop eating and drinking. Itās like the pendulum swing is stuck and Iām freaking out about how little control I feel like I have over myself right now.
[Rant/Rave] The visitor, a poem by Willow.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Feb 4 04:08:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v66nn/the_visitor_a_poem_by_willow/
---
On mobile please flair as inspo/art/rant or rave or other?
"You are what you eat" they used to say, so I was everything and then I was nothing, I was guilt and I was shame. I became a lie and a conqueror, a model and heretic. I fell down the hole and never emerged to to see the light. I joined a mental circus where every mirror was a funhouse one, I wasn't the one having fun, i couldn't leave if i wanted to, so the days dragged on as the show must always go on, I had friends who didn't exist who didn't like me at all no matter what because there was nothing anymore. Dreams and desires were fleeting and arbitrary while my mind went from a vast imagination to small cold prison. Solitude was the worst because I was never alone because the visitor was always looming without words only thoughts. Language became cryptic, reading things that weren't there. People became foreign with their behaviors I no longer knew. My body was a cage and a rabid animal I sedated only to revive for each exhibition of normalcy. Culture was something I couldn't swallow and the pills stuck to my tongue no matter how hard I tried. I gave up, I surrendered I wanted help only to be made sicker, when you put the sick with the ill the only one who wins is the illness. They said you are what you eat, who were they? I became nothing and I became everything as the that visitor was here to stay.
[Help] Help! Low cal vegan protein snack?
/u/SkelloKitty
Created: Sun Feb 4 03:39:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v636v/help_low_cal_vegan_protein_snack/
---
I'm day 4 into fasting, and next week on thursday I promised my friend I'd go to Muay Thai with her. She's has anorexia before but has recovered and she's really scared of me eating to little!! So she wants me to eat a lot before the boxing... I am going to get a fruit and something with protein, but I'd rather not have it be above 300 cals and it should also be vegan. Nuts and protein bars are far too high cal and also not filling at all. Do you have any tips??
[Rant/Rave] I canāt help
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Sun Feb 4 00:31:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v5gf4/i_cant_help/
---
I was on r/suicidewatch , browsing in hopes of encouraging people that life will get better. I ran into this post, and Idk. I connected with this person, just by reading her story and I feel like she is already gone. I didnāt even know this person. I feel so sad rn. I could not help this person. This is the worst feeling I have ever felt.
[Rant/Rave] Scared and anxious
/u/inexpensivecoffee
Created: Sat Feb 3 23:02:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v53jh/scared_and_anxious/
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Without sounding too much of a drama queen... Iām scared that Iām spiraling out of control. This whole thing is consuming me, or at least Iām making myself think it is.
Iāve been eating 500-700 calories these past few weeks and the weight has been coming off, but itās such a struggle.
Iām constantly thinking about food. My mind constantly wanders during class. I feel like Iām only 30% here, and the rest of my mind is floating somewhere off into space.
Iām losing motivation to do well in school. Iām distancing myself away from my family and my friends. I get furious whenever my sister eats my āsafe foodsā. I get angry whenever my mom buys treats that I know Iāll have to struggle to avoid.
Today I caved in and ate a little over 1000 calories, which I know is a healthy amount, but I canāt help but feel guilty and disgusting.
Enough of my rambling/ranting. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I have no one to confide in. My friends worry for me, but I canāt bring myself to explain why Iāve been so distant/irritable.
[Discussion] Anyone else delete all their proED posts after a bit ?
/u/kat-official [5'5" | CW: 135.6 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | -105 lbs lost from HW | 16F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 23:01:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v538h/anyone_else_delete_all_their_proed_posts_after_a/
---
i usually do after the conversation dies bc i don't really like having that on my profile, if anyone was ever to find it. I think i still have one post up from the summer, because my ex found it and made a big fuss and I was being petty, but I usually delete my posts here, even though I post often. i also do this thing, where i type a great big post up and then never post it cause i'm like, meh, nobody cares.
[Rant/Rave] Trauma has made me succumb to being more disordered
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Feb 3 22:27:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v4xpw/trauma_has_made_me_succumb_to_being_more/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave
I was assaulted physically outside of work on Tuesday of this last week. I was beaten up and shoved into some gravel for trying to stand up for my work place. It made me feel so week and helpless. It lead me into being more isolating than before. I binged for four days straight from tuesday to friday.. I have since fasted because I felt my body getting bigger. I have no desire to eat but the stress and anxiety has been getting to me.
Also my skinny manager complaining about being fat is making me feel very triggered and insecure. I feel so broken and even though I've experienced trauma before it never gets easier when it happens. Work is also stressful because I am not reluctantly a manager who doesn't want to be one and my my manager said I couldn't be manager if I wanted to because I can't taste everything because I don't eat meat and I need to apparently try all the crappy bar food to know it's good. I hate working in restraunts.
I feel so worthless right now I never want to see food again. I want to self harm again even though it's been a couple days but they are healing.
I just feel like a wreck. I want to bleed and starve and I want people to actually feel bad for making me feel bad. I don't advocate for my self because I feel like garbage.
Willow.
[Discussion] What do you want to be at your GW?
/u/proed-me [5'6 | 117 lbs| 18.9 | GW: 103]
Created: Sat Feb 3 22:08:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v4ubv/what_do_you_want_to_be_at_your_gw/
---
When Iām 100 lbs Iām gonna be a badass bitch who knows sheās hot and doesnāt take shit from anybody. Iām gonna be confident and eat ānormallyā and flirt with all the guys I want and wear all the cute clothes I want, cause I wonāt care if they show my stomach. Also Iām gonna wear all the chokers and skinny jeans I want
Canāt fucking wait god Iām so insecure and gross rn
[Other] Not sure where to post about this
/u/Pretzelsandtea
Created: Sat Feb 3 21:57:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v4s8a/not_sure_where_to_post_about_this/
---
A few years ago I wanted to lose weight and I severely restricted, binged and purged several times over a few months, lost 20 lbs total. Now I eat enough and I don't binge and purge. But since then I've become obsessed with calories, I track them every single day. I'm in a perpetual state of wanting to lose more but not being able to, being concerned with food and extremely uncomfortable if I overeat. I feel like losing 15-20 pounds will finally make me happy with my body.
I'm 5'6.5, 130. I know I'm not fat, I know I look fine. But I still want to be 110-115. I like the shape of my body, I get compliments but I want to actually be *thin*. I don't want to be emaciated, all I want is to be thin, like Alexis Ren (in my opinion she has the most perfect flawless body).
I'm sick of this constant feeling of being 15-20 pounds over what I want. I don't know anyone else that seems to have the anxiety about food that I do. It's really frustrating. I'm confident in myself, the person I am. I like a lot of things about myself, and I generally don't care about my appearance (mismatched clothes, no make up, messy hair, hairy legs, etc) but for some reason I can't stop this gnawing urge to reach perfection with my size.
Edit: not posting here because I want to develop an ED or get help losing weight, just wanted to rant about my frustration.
[Discussion] ED art?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 21:50:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v4r43/ed_art/
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Does anyone have recommendations? I donāt mean thinspo but rather artists who deal with the concept of eating disorders through their art/plays/books/whatever.
[Discussion] Whereās everyone here from?
/u/proed-me [5'6 | 117 lbs| 18.9 | GW: 103]
Created: Sat Feb 3 21:11:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v4k4e/wheres_everyone_here_from/
---
No personal information of course, Iām just curious how weāre distributed geographically
[Help] Biotin for hair loss?
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Sat Feb 3 21:00:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v4i2t/biotin_for_hair_loss/
---
Iāve been losing a lot of hair lately and I wanted to know if anyone uses biotin? Does it help ? I heard it also improves brittle nails... if you have any advice/ experience it would me helpful. ;)
[Rant/Rave] Annoyed
/u/SinfulCinnamon
Created: Sat Feb 3 20:49:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v4fzg/annoyed/
---
Where the fuck is this "whoosh" I've been hearing so much about?! Fasted for 48 hours after an admittedly bad few days earlier this week. But even before that my deficits were not doing a damn thing on the scale. It's starting to make me annoyed af first of all. But then I'm wondering if my metabolism is just so fucked from what I've been doing that it's literally impossible to lose weight without foregoing food completely?! Like wtf! Should not be this difficult.
[Help] Increasing calories for school?
/u/quietpandaa [5'1 | 99 | 18.7 | 20F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 20:43:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v4evy/increasing_calories_for_school/
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So I'm debating increasing my daily intake from 600 to 900 calories. If I didn't have anything else to do I think I could sustain 600 or even go lower, but I'm trying to juggle a full course load and work at two different hospitals. I have an organic chemistry exam in a week and none of the information is staying in my brain. It's so frustrating because last semester when I was recovering I loved chemistry and now I can't figure any of it out.
I figure that an extra 300 calories would give me another meal in my day and help me pack in some protein and carbs for energy. But I'm terrified that it'll make me gain weight. According to the calculators my BMR should be around 1100 and my TDEE around 1300, I think? Honestly I'm having trouble trusting that because it seems so high and I've kind of been plateauing for a few days even on 600 (although I've been majorly constipated tmi).
Ugh I don't know what to do. Advice greatly appreciated!!
[Other] yāall, yoga with adriene lives and teaches in austin!!!
/u/indogyearsimdead [āØ 5'5" | 103 | 17.1 | -51 | FāØ]
Created: Sat Feb 3 20:24:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v4b9z/yall_yoga_with_adriene_lives_and_teaches_in_austin/
---
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/yoga-with-adriene-at-fair-market-tickets-42687919717?aff=ampmlt
[Discussion] Taking medical leave from grad school to go inpatient: how much to share publically/on social media?
/u/HufflePuffPrid3
Created: Sat Feb 3 20:09:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v48ke/taking_medical_leave_from_grad_school_to_go/
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I know my absence from school will be noticed. There are only about 100 people in my program. I know my absence from most modes of communication will be noticed (no internet in inpatient).
I want to leave a facebook post explaining my absence, so I don't have to explain myself dozens of times when I return. People will ask, and wonder. I'd rather get it out of the way in one facebook post.
I'm wondering if me putting the truth out there about why I'm gone is better than having people speculate or worry. I want to be honest
I also wouldn't mind having the ED no longer be a secret. I want to stop hiding and making excuses.
Has anyone shared about ED recovery/treatment on social media? What has been your experience? Negative, positive?
tfw you tell someone about your ED
/u/proed-me [5'6 | 117 lbs| 18.9 | GW: 103]
Created: Sat Feb 3 20:07:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v48a9/tfw_you_tell_someone_about_your_ed/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Gotta get back on track
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Sat Feb 3 20:07:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v4892/gotta_get_back_on_track/
---
Hey guys. I've been a bingeing mess. Just literally binge eating everyday for a while. I'm terrified to weigh myself. I'm not looking for "how to get an eating disorder" because I've been in this rodeo for 8 years. How do y'all get back on track or regain that control after nonstop bingeing? I feel so hopeless
[Rant/Rave] (Rant) Feeling really triggered right now
/u/FeedMeAfterMidnight [5'1" | 123.4 | 24.35 | 0 lost | female]
Created: Sat Feb 3 19:31:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v41as/rant_feeling_really_triggered_right_now/
---
I just had a conversation with my older sister...
All I said was something along the lines of, āI wish I had those arms.ā
The girlās arms in the picture werenāt even that small. Normal-skinny, not scary-skinny, you know? And my sister freaks out. Says thatās unattainable, and gross, and way too skinny. Our family doesnāt have the body type to support that. Those arms are weak, theyāre fragile, theyāre too small. I should mention, my sister is not fat. Sheās average, and gorgeous.
I tried to explain myself. I tried to be clear about it. How her arms are realistic, how nothing about it is unattainable. But she just wouldnāt listen. Says the way I looked 2 years ago (at my low weight) was too small and I shouldnāt do that again because it was gross.
Iām so torn.
Iām angry she couldnāt have a real discussion about this. My sister is intelligent and understanding about SO MANY things, but weight will always be this weird topic for her.
Sheās prettier than me, sheās usually thinner than me... except for now. And even though my sister is the most self-possessed, confident, body-positive person I know, thereās this little voice in my head saying that she just doesnāt want me to look better than her.
I love her. But Iām still thinking about those arms.
I thought I was fine. Decent amount of exercise, high-cal restriction (havenāt fallen below 1000 calories in quite a while) and a semi-normal relationship with food. I was doing so good. But Iām so... indignant right now. Right now all I want in life is those unattainable arms.
[Help] Does anyone exercise with their significant other? How does that go?
/u/thegarden-lady
Created: Sat Feb 3 19:26:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v409q/does_anyone_exercise_with_their_significant_other/
---
My partner & I just talked about working out together. Weāve both recently put on weight so I think itās a good idea. When I lived with my parents, I was able to over exercise, hardly eat, & was very thin (I wish I realized that then lol). Itās been a few years since then & Iāve gotten better with my relationship with food/weight physically but not mentally. Iām afraid Iāll become competitive with him in an effort to lose weight. Iām afraid Iāll lie about working out while heās not home just to burn those extra calories. I havenāt weighed myself in almost two years (!!!) so Iām kind of itching to buy a scale now.
ANYWAY, does anyone work out with their partner? Is it okay?
[Rant/Rave] Having my worst eating day in a while.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 3 19:14:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v3xxi/having_my_worst_eating_day_in_a_while/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My fucking space heater just died
/u/sknnydrggygrl
Created: Sat Feb 3 18:56:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v3uev/my_fucking_space_heater_just_died/
---
Fuck me.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I am literally going to freeze to death.
h e l p
[Discussion] Dae use people for thinspo who arenāt even skinnier than you?
/u/proed-me [5'6 | 117 lbs| 18.9 | GW: 103]
Created: Sat Feb 3 18:25:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v3obn/dae_use_people_for_thinspo_who_arent_even/
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Like Sarah Snyder. Iād say we have close to the same BMI, and she looks bigger than me with her ^shitty ^instagram ^ass ^photoshop. But for some reason I see myself as way bigger? I think itās because I get told I look like her a lot and I just canāt internalize that we have similar bodies? but anyways idk.
[Rant/Rave] Body Not Co-operating
/u/cry_bvby
Created: Sat Feb 3 18:19:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v3n0a/body_not_cooperating/
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So, I have been 'recovered' for a while now. I mean, maintaining at my lowest healthy weight in terms of BMI. I still had strict rules and worked out a lot but no one was threatening to send me back to hospital because people always associate EDs with weight even though we know technically it is the behaviour and thoughts that are what an ED is.
I also have BPD, DPD, and GAD. My partner and I are in a codependent relationship, I need to be taken care of and he needs to take care of people. Anyway, since I have been recovering and started being able to do things by myself he has started 'helping' a friend with bulimia. He is my FP so in regards to having BPD this is hugely triggering in many ways and it makes me feel as though I need to get really sick so that he won't abandon me.
My body isn't cooperating though. I am working out heavily 1-2 hours a day and eating clean foods (1200) so as to not binge or pass out during my heavy workouts but my weight is maintaining. Do you think I need to restrict my calories further? Technically 1700 should maintain me while working out according to my old dietitian. I look 'fit' and 'toned' according to others but I need to feel frail and small in order to feel safe again. I used to restrict at 500 but trying that since inpatient treatment only lasts so long before I end up binging or passing out. Idk what to do. I feel like my exercise and strict routine may have slowed my metabolism down and did literally nothing in terms of the number on the scale but I am not sure. I can also only weigh myself at the gym while my partner isn't looking.
[Tip] Tips @ me:
/u/heyimnew99
Created: Sat Feb 3 18:07:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v3kik/tips_me/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Iām a mess and canāt do anything, whatās new?
/u/thebeesknees19 [Height 5ā6.5ā | CW 100 lbs | BMI 16.21 | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 18:07:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v3kdo/im_a_mess_and_cant_do_anything_whats_new/
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I was supposed to go to the formal for a student organization Iām part of tonight. I was really looking forward to it...too bad I binged Thursday night and Iāve been in a depressive spiral since then. I spent all day crying because I hate myself and crying more because I hate myself for crying. Now my face is puffy and swollen and Iām in no state to be seen in public, so I guess Iāll just continue to lay here and binge Americaās Next Top Model and stare at this bag of popcorn...
Trying really hard not to binge again because I know itāll only make it worse, but I donāt even know anymore.
[Discussion] Guilt over support
/u/castingsessionpod [5'10" | CW: 185?| UGW: 160 | Male]
Created: Sat Feb 3 18:02:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v3je9/guilt_over_support/
---
Wasn't sure how to title this. I told my roommate (who is also my closest friend) about 5 months ago during a manic period about my ED, gave the whole timeline and whatnot, she was cool about it and honestly I wasn't looking for someone to talk it out with I just felt like she should know.
Anyways, I've been restricting more in the past few months than I have in years and its starting to really show. She commented that I looked like I had lost a lot of weight (I have) and here is where I started feeling guilty. I still ended up lying about how I lost the weight. It was so instinctual. I don't know why I did that. Like if I'm trying to be more honest about it I should have just said, yeah I'm restricting. Yeah I almost passed out twice this week, yeah I'm depressed and I don't know what else to do. I trust her more than anything, but in the moment I lied and said I've just been too poor to afford fast food. She basically said, "well as long as you're healthy thats great. There is nobody I trust more than her, but face to face when the discussion came up I lied and I feel like shit about it.
For the record when I told her about my ED 5 months ago it was a rambling email that I sent at like 5 am after pacing around my apartment with anxiety for hours so this would be the first time it really came up in person.
[Other] "Dainty"
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 18F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 17:42:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v3f7c/dainty/
---
He called me "dainty".
And I guess I should be happy. I like the word. I like the sound of it, the idea of it.
But it grates on my brain and confuses me and makes me wonder why he would lie about something like that. He says he cares about me. I don't understand how he can reconcile such a big, fat lie with "caring about me".
He's said I'm smaller than girls he's been with. And I know it's just a ploy to make me fEeL bEtTeR. I'm a slug. A monster. I take up too much room. I need to control-x everything between my waist and my knees. That's the worst part. Then my chest, too. That needs to go.
He says I feel small in his arms, but I feel enormous and bulky and disgusting and thick ("thicc" begone) and maybe a bit thankful I'm not any taller because then I think it might be even more difficult to handle. It's not acceptable until I'm light as paper. Aethereal. I can't be fat anymore.
This week is going to be better. It *has* to be better. I'm seeing him again on Friday, and it'll kill me if I'm not lower than last time. I don't even remember what last time was. It doesn't matter, though, because it won't be good enough, regardless of how low it is.
I have to focus. Follow the rules. Ignore the hunger, the urges, the want, the weakness.
[Discussion] Whatāre your fasting techniques?
/u/IrritatedIntrovert
Created: Sat Feb 3 17:29:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v3cjr/whatre_your_fasting_techniques/
---
[removed]
[Help] I'm at my wits end
/u/iProbablyLikeYoux
Created: Sat Feb 3 16:40:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v31ry/im_at_my_wits_end/
---
I've been previously diagnosed, years ago mind you, but my mum is still worried about my eating. I've 'recovered' and stuff but for the past week I've been restricting to on meal a day and my weight is e x a c t l y the same.
I want to restrict more, but the meal o eat is with the family and my parents might get suspicious and im so stressed I just don't know what to do... I just need some advice??
[Other] i'm back
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 3 16:27:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v2z56/im_back/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v2z56/im_back/
[Discussion] DAE save up their daily calories for alcohol?
/u/counting-the-seconds [5'8" | 144lbs | 21.9 | -28 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 16:05:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v2uan/dae_save_up_their_daily_calories_for_alcohol/
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Like
My limit is 800 cal today because it's Saturday but I've used up the majority of it on wine/vodka and I mean I had a salad but salads don't make the pain go away am I right? Oops. Sorry for the weird post idk if this is out of place or not.
[Discussion] February 3rd, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 15:52:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v2r9o/february_3rd_2018_question_of_the_day/
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On a scale of 1 - 10, how sad are you?
Hijacking my post:
Guys. I donāt know if anyone remembers me saying I was going to the psychiatrist yesterday (because Iāve been really depressed recently, probably 8 on the sad scale), but it was BAD. like REALLY bad. I try to be honest with her, and near the end, I told her that I sometimes take Bronkaid, and she FREAKED OUT on me. She was so fucking mad, for a couple of reasons.
First, it could have interfered with my meds, especially my new one, Wellbutrin, so it was hard to tell if it was actually working (also could be dangerous). Second, I get pretty irritable and she said it was a stimulant, and basically what the fuck. Also, the whole ādonāt try to/you donāt need to suppress your appetiteā thing.
So at the end of that, I was extremely shaken and super upset. THEN, I had to go to my dermatologist, which was going to be upsetting anyway, because my skin sucks after two rounds of accutane and Iām fucking 27 and shouldnāt have to deal with this shit.
So after sobbing through that appointment, I went home (was supposed to go to work but fuck that) and sobbed for about an hour and calmed down after two pints of halo top and a marathon of Oceans (11, 12, and 13) movies.
In summary, yesterday, on a scale of 1 - 10, yesterday I was a fucking 100 in sadness.
Today, Iām about a 5. Thanks for reading if you did ā¤ļø
[Help] university PE waiver?
/u/ci-fre [5' | 70 lb | ~14.4 | F | gaining/semi-recovery]
Created: Sat Feb 3 15:51:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v2r1a/university_pe_waiver/
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hello.
I sound really dumb so ahh please donāt judge eep
Anyway my university has a phys ed requirement and I already *have* an exercise routine and I feel extremely extremely uncomfortable about the thought of changing said routine. Moreover I get physically tired out really really easily rn >_>;; so Iām like really dreading such requirement
ahh umm do you guys think that I could possibly get a medical exemption from this due to having an eating disorder? :c
[Discussion] What workouts have worked for you? What has given you good results?
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | high | large | Gender: death]
Created: Sat Feb 3 15:48:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v2qcz/what_workouts_have_worked_for_you_what_has_given/
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I've been working out for 1.5-3 hours every day this week. I'm paranoid that my regimen is ineffective.
When I only do cardio and low restrict, my body is just a smaller version of my fat self.
I want to actually *change* the shape of my legs with exercise, not just decrease them in width. Is that even possible? I want to have chicken legs šš¤
____________________________________________
**tl;dr** **What workouts work for you?**
________________________________________________
P.S. For ref, my legs kind of look like LUNA from f(x) but I want them to be like...straight up and down, more like seulgi from red velvet
[Discussion] Anyone have friends with eating disorders?
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 131.8 | 20.19 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 15:31:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v2mre/anyone_have_friends_with_eating_disorders/
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And does it affect your friendship at all?
Iāve recently become really close with this one girl at my college. A few of us had a girls night the other night, got white girl wasted and basically told each other all our secrets lol. It came out that sheās bulimic so I of course told her about my ED history.
I really do love her sheās a great friend but Iām so scared of us competing with each other, even subconsciously, and making each other sicker or stressing each other out.
We have lunch together most days and the other day I packed some healthy leftovers but a much bigger portion than her tiny little salad and I felt super self conscious about it. We went clothes shopping together and she commented on how Iām definitely a smaller size than her. Oh and in our abnormal psych class weāre in the same group and guess what the topic is, somatic/feeding/eating disorders so thatāll be triggering af especially when our other group members inevitably start bringing up bs and stereotypes and what not.
So yea any advice from people that have experience with this would be much appreciated!! Idk how/when/if I should bring anything up with her in a way that wouldnāt make things worse
[Discussion] something I can control
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | high | large | Gender: death]
Created: Sat Feb 3 15:25:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v2ldm/something_i_can_control/
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I'm too poor to get a refill on my medication. I'm too hypersensitive to maintain friendships. No matter how long I go without eating, I always look huge. I haven't weighed myself in a month because I know I look disgusting so why does it matter?
I'm not even thin. When I don't eat, I don't even get thinner at this point.
But at least it's one thing I don't suck at. I'm good at not eating.
I thought I was making progress. Then I tried on clothes at the store today.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 3 15:18:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v2jsg/i_thought_i_was_making_progress_then_i_tried_on/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Introduction
/u/irinasergyeyevna
Created: Sat Feb 3 14:41:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v2b8p/introduction/
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Hello, you can call me Beton, Mireina or Irina, I am 18 years old, from Poland, undiagnosed, yet itās been two years since I ātriedā any disordered behaviour involving eating and food basically controls my life. The strongest ones are restricting and overexercising with binging once in about two or three weeks. I refuse to openly admit it, but I really do need help, I do need to get better, so I hope to find my own way of doing it, as relying on anybody is just a big no-no for me.
(I have an account on MPA, itās Mireina, btw.)
My hobbies are philosophy, art, mathematics, the theory and history of communism ā lots of other fascinating and āwowā subjects, but the truth is that I spend the majority of my time trying to understand myself and think my way out of this bullshit š (doesnāt work)
(I lowkey hope to make some friends or have pleasant conversations)
[Rant/Rave] Trying to explain my ED to my boyfriend
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Sat Feb 3 13:57:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v21h4/trying_to_explain_my_ed_to_my_boyfriend/
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He asked me if I'm still dieting, I said I don't want to talk about weight related things. Then he said I'm not fat, I tried to explain my ED thoughts ("I base my self worth on my weight") and he said that I look good already. OKAY BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. I don't just want to look good, I want to be skin and bones. I'm not happy with being "not fat". Heck, maybe it's not even about weight. I really just *need* control.
[Rant/Rave] I was so good until...
/u/Dumbledickhead [5'5 | CW 119 lbs | GW 90 lbs]
Created: Sat Feb 3 13:35:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v1wk0/i_was_so_good_until/
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I was so good today. I was within my limit. I had worked out. I'm on a 5 day gym streak. I've ate nothing but "pure" food (veggies ect) for days. And today. I saw the little tub of mini flapjack bites in the cupboard. I meant to only eat one. But I ate 8. That's 550 calories. In 8 teeny weeny bites. I couldn't even purge cause my boyfriend was home. Now I feel sick and fat and I know I can work it off but I know you guys will understand. It's like I can FEEL myself getting bigger by the second. I'm in the bath and im looking down and my thighs and tummy look so big. :( I'm so ashamed of myself. It wasn't worth it. They tasted too sweet and sickly after the second one but I couldn't stop. I made a raspberry mango banana smoothie with chia seeds to stop me from going full binge mode but that's another 300 calories on top now. :( I hate myself.
[Help] Please make a decision for me
/u/givemebonyknees
Created: Sat Feb 3 13:25:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v1u4g/please_make_a_decision_for_me/
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So every year my family goes to a Super Bowl party, but last year I stayed home to avoid all the food. I know that if I go Iām without a doubt going to binge, and I binged last weekend so I definitely cannot let myself do that. Iāve been planning on staying home, but my family is very disappointed that Iām not going and I donāt want to upset them again just because of food. If I go, which I really want to, Iām going to need to purge. The problem with this option is I donāt know if there is going to be a discreet enough place for me to purge. I absolutely cannot make up my mind about this and itās stressing me out. Any advice?
[Help] Feel a binge coming on tonight
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Sat Feb 3 13:18:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v1snk/feel_a_binge_coming_on_tonight/
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Itās been like a month since Iāve eaten any junk food whatsoever like mainly meat, fruit and veggies. I really have been craving ice cream like a whole pint of Ben and Jerryās and doughnuts and Taco Bell. Why am I such a failure?? I just really canāt fight these cravings I want it so bad Iām such a worthless fat pig.
[Discussion] EDs & Fertility, aka I'm going to try to eat mindfully/intuitively...
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 96.5 | GW1 95 | GW2 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 14.78 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 13:14:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v1rlo/eds_fertility_aka_im_going_to_try_to_eat/
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Looking for advice, discussion, and probably sympathy.
I'm *very* underweight, but I've always been so - and I've never once lost my period. My fiance and I had a pregnancy scare in April of last year, when I had a chemical pregnancy (where conception and implantation occur, but it doesn't "stick" and an early miscarriage occurs). It made me realize that I do, actually, want to breed with him.
That said, I'm in my mid-thirties and my fertility's only going to get shittier from here, so we've decided to go ahead and start trying (in part to see if it's possible - I'm underweight and he's convinced that he's infertile - even though the chemical pregnancy proved that he's not). We're working on our health, taking supplements, etc., and part of that includes me not restricting to 450/500 calories per day. We've been trying since October, but neither of us have really started adding health into the equation (or tracking my ovulation via OPKs) until the start of my last cycle.
Because I simply *can't handle* the idea of eating a specific amount that's over 500, I'm going to try to engage in mindful/intuitive eating, with reminders from the fiance. I don't really get hungry signals as I've been anorexic since I was about 14/15, although since I've started trying to listen to my body, I've been waking up *starving* pretty much every day.
This isn't "recovery," persay, because that word scares me. I'm not ready to recover from my eating disorder. But I'm going to provide my body what it needs, as best as I can, so that we can pop out a little monsterchild maybehopefully.
It's both difficult, because it feels like I'm eating a lot (although I know that I'm not eating a "normal" amount yet) and I miss the control of restriction - but I've replaced controlling and obsessing about my food intake with obsessing about tracking my cycles etc., so that's helpful - and easier, because not only am I doing this for a reason, but I don't have to hate myself for indulging in a slice of King Cake or eating more than a certain amount.
Pregnant/Mom/TTC/Recovered ladies on here, did you find yourself able to just listen to your body? For those of you who've spawned a tiny person, did it take a long time to successfully conceive and carry to term?
[Discussion] Addicted to exercise and I donāt mind it
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Sat Feb 3 12:38:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v1iz2/addicted_to_exercise_and_i_dont_mind_it/
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Does anyone else find themselves addicted to working out? Like building muscle not just starving yourself. I feel bad eating when I havenāt lifted at the gym. Iām trying to stop restricting and this makes it easier to eat because I feel like it will turn into muscle instead of fat.
[Rant/Rave] i want to die
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 3 12:26:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v1g57/i_want_to_die/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v1g57/i_want_to_die/
[Other] GUYS LOOK I have no idea how it tastes but I had to get it!
/u/vZudikas [5'8 | CW š³ | UGW 120 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 12:17:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v1e7n/guys_look_i_have_no_idea_how_it_tastes_but_i_had/
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https://i.redd.it/0n9co9nls1e01.jpg
[Discussion] I thought I was alone forever
/u/dotdot-8 [5'8| CW135 | GW122 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 11:45:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v16ph/i_thought_i_was_alone_forever/
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First post on a new alt account- my ED has been part of my life since I was 10, through everything I have gone through in the 20 years since, it has been my most comfortable constant. I feel it calms my anxiety and gives me a sense of control in my life that I don't have anywhere else.
At my heaviest I was 165, lowest was 115. I get lazy and fat, over eat, over sleep, stop talking to everyone and just retreat in my fat shell like a bear. This can last for months until things get so overwhelming for me I turn back to my ED. I start over hauling my life to get that control back and it's the only thing that gets me out of bed, grocery shopping, working out, etc... depression and anxiety seems to fade when I set a weight goal for myself because I am more active, cooking my calories because I don't trust prefab foods, I am better at my career because my focus is sharpened, and I feel a sense of discipline and accomplishment I don't get anywhere else. I get so organized, weigh in daily and meal plan weekly, I do floor exercises after work and go on long walks instead of dinner... all this is technically "healthy" so I don't even have to lie or hide it from anyone.
The truth is my relationship with my body and with food has been fucked up for as long as I can remember and I always denied it to myself. Now getting to my 30's I have fine tuned my ED in the most sustainable way, I'm telling you it never goes away but you can find ways to make it work for you and that's what I've been working on.
When I stumbled on this sub the other night (looking for 3ballerina tea) I thought you all were fucking crazy, publicly talking about your ED and some on their main account? Wtf? I thought this can't be for real, I have never spoken to anyone about what I put my body through in my whole life! I spent hours going fromTop of all time down and honestly I just found myself over and over in your community and it made me look at myself differently. I found my humour, desperation, obsession, fascination, and general fucked upness in an OPEN accepting community and I've never had that.
This is super long and sorry if it's not right to post this but I thought it would be good to share and let you know that this sub is so meaningful. I am not deluding myself in thinking I will ever be cured but after YEARS of putting my body and mind through hell I've come to learn that I can still indulge in my ED but minimize a lot of the unnecessary hell.
Tldr: stumbled on this sub, went from wtf to yay. You guys are awesome and we're all fucked up.
[Rant/Rave] My best friend of several years ghosted me.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 3 11:14:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v0z4e/my_best_friend_of_several_years_ghosted_me/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Has anyone else had an ED for years?
/u/ray-annegraff [5'0 | 109 | GW 94 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 11:07:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v0xgb/has_anyone_else_had_an_ed_for_years/
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I first developed anorexia when I was 14, in January of 2010. It's been 8 years that I've had an ED (I'm 23 now), though the severity of it has gone back and forth through the years. I go through phases where I am essentially recovered and then phases where I relapse, like right now.
Has anybody else had this disorder for a long time? It feels like such a big part of my identity, even when I'm not engaging in any ED behaviors. I basically went from being a kid to being fucked up and anorexic. I never really got to be a "normal" teenager or college student or anything. This disorder has been there with me through everything, my entire young adult life. It's been hard to accept how big of an impact this disorder has had on my development and life.
[Discussion] "Whats you favorite food?"
/u/DeadKittyDancing
Created: Sat Feb 3 10:55:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v0une/whats_you_favorite_food/
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Bit of context about myself: I more or less recovered from my ED, or as much as you can without a capable therapist and while trying to get your life in order.
I used to have favorite foods, like spaghetti bolognese or pancakes.
During my ED I only really had some comfort/safe foods and ever since my recovery I do not have a favorite food.
Like sure I enjoy some foods more than others but I don't have a top 3.
Generally all foods still have like a negative feel about them or more like eating in general so I can't enjoy eating to a point where I have a favorite.
Does anyone else have this effect where there is no favorite food?
If there is what are your favorite safe/binge/overall foods?
[Other] When your ED is probably the longest relationship youāve ever had or something like it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 3 10:45:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v0s4c/when_your_ed_is_probably_the_longest_relationship/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Nothing takes my mind off hunger faster than video games
/u/myrtlewils0n [cw:121.8 ā¾ gw1: 115 ā¾ ugw:108.8]
Created: Sat Feb 3 10:43:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v0rr0/nothing_takes_my_mind_off_hunger_faster_than/
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I love gaming and have a couple different groups I meet with throughout the week to play group Terarria, Halo, TF2, etc. Recently, I unearthed my N64 from my parents' garage and have been mindlessly playing Majora's Mask and Resident Evil 2.
So what (if at all) do you guys play? Does anyone have a Steam or XBox Live account and would be interested in group gaming sessions? Let me know!
[Help] Liquid fast
/u/TeddyMonster19
Created: Sat Feb 3 10:32:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v0p44/liquid_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] might have to see my abuser today
/u/pm_me_ur_eyeholez [5'4.5" | CW: ugh| HW: 250/LW: 130/GW: 107| 26F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 10:22:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v0mnh/might_have_to_see_my_abuser_today/
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Pls flair as rant? Panic?
IDK I just need to get it out there that I might have to see my abuser today and I'm trying not to have a full blown panic about it. He's living with my grandparents bc he's a POS who never got his life together. My poor grandpa has Alzheimer's and my poor grandma is going nuts over it. I'm coming over to get her out of the house and take her to the mall. I'm not leaving for another few hours but the thought of him opening the door when I get there currently has me paralyzed in bed. Like I dunno what I will do.
The whole family dynamic is weird. My grandma contributed a lot to my own eating disordered thinking and I believe she has AN. She's lost so much weight from the stress of caring for my grandpa it hurts to see. I hated her for a good portion of my life, especially because she forgave and treats my abuser like an angel - really better than anyone in my family even though they actually take care of her and he doesn't. Like she's been hospitalized for dehydration twice in the last few months and he LIVES THERE. My aunts go over every day to make sure my grandparents eat and are okay even though he LIVES THERE.
IDK I have a lot of mixed and anxious feelings about everything and I'm trying to do this to be a good grand daughter. Not so much for my grandma, but for my poor grandpa. He was always my favorite and now he has no clue who the fuck I am. Despite everything he loved (and I think in his own Alzheimer's way still loves) my grandma and I'm trying so hard to be there for her but God is it hard. She's also a religious nutcase and that doesn't help anything.
To add to the mix, my other grandma invited me to dinner and I had planned on fasting all day so I'm pretty bummed about that too.
Thanks for reading. I just needed to get this out.
[Rant/Rave] College Helped Me Not Eat
/u/tanoren [5'5" | 134.7 lbs | 22 bmi | Female]
Created: Sat Feb 3 10:22:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v0mmj/college_helped_me_not_eat/
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Hello everyone. I just realized something today.
For some background: I had always tried to restrict back when I lived with my grandma. I moved in with her in like 8th grade super skinny and medically underweight and anemic because I had been homeless and my mom a drug addict who really only focused on that.
So I lived with her throughout high school. I started to gain weight as I had access to food and healthy choices- she made a lot of veg soups and stuff. But I felt like she "shoved" food at me- I loved the food but didn't want to eat it! I felt thankful for it but felt bad that I had to eat it or it'd go to waste. Similar to how I felt when I'd try to switch to a vegetarian diet.
She just really didn't want me too skinny between my background and the fact that I had lost nearly 15 lbs in a week (or two?) after a surgery that left me physically unable to eat anything other than a jello or ice throughout the day. Between that and my dad having raised me with diet everything and skim milk and shaming me and my body (I was a tad chubby but in a kid way) I guess I just didn't develop a good relationship with food because here I am.
Well now that I'm at college I don't have that issue unless I'm visiting her. I can just choose to not buy food. Sure it can suck at times but if you don't have it you can't eat it. I have a meal plan but most of the food bores me now, another non issue. And it takes effort to go, especially on weekends when the dining hall by me is closed. So I just kind of have been drinking tea or coffee.
It's freeing though- no more anyone else planning meals or guilting me into eating stuff or shoving food at me etc. It's just freeing.
[Help] My mirror is ruining my life.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 3 10:16:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v0l6b/my_mirror_is_ruining_my_life/
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[deleted]
[Goal] ED has given me a goal in life
/u/ABlueSongbird
Created: Sat Feb 3 10:14:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v0ksl/ed_has_given_me_a_goal_in_life/
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I am goalless. Nothing that will change my life. I have nothing to look forward to. I have no problems in life nothing to work for. I am teenager I have no control at all.
But a Goal Wieght. It solves all those problems, something to look forward, something that will change me. Already designates steps to reach a goal.
ED is horrible but in a way it is strangely comforting.
[Rant/Rave] Tfw the famed Halo Top is coming to my city (Toronto)!
/u/lavenderbruises [5'10"|CW 115| GW 100| BMI 16.74| 19F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 09:43:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v0dge/tfw_the_famed_halo_top_is_coming_to_my_city/
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https://www.blogto.com/eat_drink/2018/02/halo-top-ice-cream-coming-toronto-canada/
[Discussion] DAE find themselves obsessed not with their weight but with measurements?
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Sat Feb 3 09:38:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v0cfx/dae_find_themselves_obsessed_not_with_their/
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I donāt have a scale so I donāt even know how much I weigh. But I have a tape measure and I measure my waist especially multiple times a day. Measure my thighs, my hips, my breasts. Just so see whatās changing and how much. Iāve lost 7 inches from my waist and 7 inches from my hips. To me weight fluctuates too much and isnāt a consistent measure of success. Also i donāt care what my weight is I care what I look and feel like
[Help] Want to recover but love feeling bones
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Sat Feb 3 09:17:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v07g7/want_to_recover_but_love_feeling_bones/
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Right now Iām currently āin recoveryā I guess. Iām eating now. Like a lot. 2180 calories. Mostly protein and all healthy food no fear foods have been tackled yet. Itās been a month and a half of eating that much everyday from eating 800-1200 max for 6 months. I have gained an inch on my waist and an inch on my hips. My ribs are still visible and I can feel all my bones. Iām trying to gain muscle weight and be healthy but some others have accused me of switching from anorexia to orthorexia. Either way I think itās healthier to be exercising a lot and eating a lot versus eating nothing and only walking. I donāt mind how my body looks bc it looks strong but I am so afraid to lose my ribs and my bones. Anyone in recovery have tips? any suggestions for getting over the addiction to my thin body?
[Rant/Rave] if i want to eat i can take a bite out of a rotted cucumber
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 3 08:57:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v035w/if_i_want_to_eat_i_can_take_a_bite_out_of_a/
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[deleted]
[Other] Waiting till the scales drop before I eat.
/u/ReversedHierophant
Created: Sat Feb 3 08:55:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v02oi/waiting_till_the_scales_drop_before_i_eat/
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I've fasted till the scale dropped today. Finally moved!
I'm now down 3lbs and 2oz this week. Still holding out till my evening meal just in case I can get it lower before I have the week of food weight throwing the scale off whack.
I'm a quarter of the way back to my last lowest weight last time I tried to get my binging in order.
Quarter of the way to my first goal. (30lbs away)
Second is under 200lbs then it's the home stretch.
Sometimes my obsessive personality works in my favor
[Help] Combining EC stacks with weed/alcohol?
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: 155 | -40]
Created: Sat Feb 3 08:45:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7v008u/combining_ec_stacks_with_weedalcohol/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Social Life?
/u/shoqer [154cm | CW: 40kg | BMI 16.8| GW: lower | 21y/o]
Created: Sat Feb 3 08:21:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uzva4/social_life/
---
I hate it when ED is hindering my social life so much.
My brother just got married and my sister-in-law is living with us now (and with my mom, typical Asian family). I like her. Because of her, I spend more time with my family. Before her, whenever I got home from university, I just went straight to my room, without talking to anyone.
She notices my withdrawal tendency too and often tries to invite me to hang out with her and my brother. I'd love to do that, but then the dilemma of where to go just threw me off everything. There's nothing but restaurants and coffee shops to go in my area. My sister-in-law knows that I don't eat a lot of stuff, but she doesn't know that I can't even eat home-cooked meals by my mom anymore, let alone greasy streets food or sugary milk tea. In the end, we couldn't find anywhere to go and she looked disappointed.
I WANT to spend time with her but the fear is just too strong :((
I stopped hanging out with my classmates too because I couldn't bear to eat out, in front of people. I wish that there's a way to solve this.
Another story: today a cute guy at the gym, who smiled at me several times as we have the same workout schedule every day, finally approached me. I was sooo happy until he started to give me advice on gaining weight. He talked about how I needed to stop running on the treadmill, stop working out for such a long period of time because I would burn too many calories (duh, that's why I went to the gym in the first place). He even told me how to eat! If only he knew how much I actually eat in my binges, he wouldn't say that. But anyway, he threw me into big anxiety and everything was just, off. So I excused myself and went away.
Gosh, why did he have to talk about weight, about food? It could have been the start of something (lol). I loathe myself because I keep getting away from people that actually care about me :((
[Discussion] Scared to lose my butt
/u/honeybrownbunny
Created: Sat Feb 3 07:47:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uzoiv/scared_to_lose_my_butt/
---
What exercises do y'all do to keep your ass lol. Sorry about the dumb title. Every time I lose, I think that's the one concern I have about my body. My ass just completely disappears.
[Help] Why don't I want to let go of ED?
/u/I_give_up_258
Created: Sat Feb 3 07:27:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uzkza/why_dont_i_want_to_let_go_of_ed/
---
I was never diagnosed, but I'm 99% sure that I had a form of ednos where I would cyclically eat very low calorie for multiple days then binge (aka eat a healthy day's worth of calories, which I would consider a binge). Since then, I've recovered and am close to eating healthy and well, but my thoughts from those days are haunting me. Part of me wants to get rid of those controlling, consuming thoughts, but the other part of me wants an ED to take full control and make my life "easier".
I don't know why I can't just let go. I know life is easier and better without ED but... there is some sort of allure that keeps drawing me in. If anyone has any suggestions on how to stop wanting an ED to take over, please type anything you think may help!
EDIT: maybe I didn't make myself clear... I want to say that I DID recover, I DO eat enough for a healthy person, and I AM NOT underweight. I used to eat cyclically, but now I eat normally. I'm not asking how to recover from the cycle; I'm asking how to not be drawn into ED again.... aka how to not relapse.
[Other] Just a short poem
/u/athrowaway76250 [5'4" | CW: 105(?) | GW: 108-112 | SW: 119 | LW: 99 | 24F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 07:22:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uzk39/just_a_short_poem/
---
**After Dinner**
There is a way of avoiding the mirror
even though it has a wall to itself
and the apartment has only one room.
Should have changed out of jeans
before eating, but didnāt
so changing into pajamas took place
precariously close to the glass.
One slip throughā
each leg
into soft rabbit-covered cotton
and the safety of a drawstring
that keeps to itself
any opinion it may have
on its proximity to my body.
***
Iāve been trying to gain weight lately and itās just making me feel bloated and weird about myself all the time. So I wrote a stupid poem about it. Figured Iād share here since this is the only place I feel comfortable being even *this* open about how I feel regarding my weight/eating.
[Rant/Rave] Thereās only one weight š
/u/pantsuo-haitemasen [170cm | 26F | CW: š·]
Created: Sat Feb 3 07:16:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uzj21/theres_only_one_weight/
---
Itās always **too much**..
Thereās too much flesh, too much fat, too much body (if this makes sense).
I seriously feel like Iām going insane.
No matter how loose my clothes get, how much weight is shed, how much concerned comments my bf makes, no matter how much strain it puts on our relationship, or how much food I purge or refuse to eat, I *will* be fat.
āThinā is that unachievable weight..
[Help] Glucomannan experiences? Anyone else SUPER thirsty?
/u/RoryRichard
Created: Sat Feb 3 05:35:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uz2v8/glucomannan_experiences_anyone_else_super_thirsty/
---
[removed]
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! February 03, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Feb 3 05:11:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uyzdo/stupid_questions_saturday_february_03_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for February 03, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 03, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Feb 3 05:10:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uyz9z/daily_food_diary_february_03_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 03, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] What thing(s) do you all do to stay sane?
/u/I_Love_Spiders_AMA [5' 7" | CW 137 | GW 110 | -45 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 3 04:39:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uyv1c/what_things_do_you_all_do_to_stay_sane/
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What major thing(s) in your life keep you from losing it to your ED? I've been more miserable than I want to admit lately. Is it a bf/gf, music, exercising, art, distracting yourself with specific things? I could use any example you guys could give, I feel like I'm losing my mind. I really need help.
[Discussion] DAE love using fitness + diet subreddits to pretend away your ed?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 3 03:56:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uyple/dae_love_using_fitness_diet_subreddits_to_pretend/
---
[deleted]
[Other] [Other] Anyone on Peach?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 3 03:23:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uyls8/other_anyone_on_peach/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] What do you think causes your ED?
/u/AubergineCourgette
Created: Sat Feb 3 02:14:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uydc1/what_do_you_think_causes_your_ed/
---
I have some other questions if anyoneās interested in discussing this stuff:
Did you grow up around people with disordered eating habits? Did it develop at a young age, or later on? Do you think youāll always have it to some extent? If youāre a woman, do you think your ED is linked to some form of internalized sexism? Have you ever been able to stop caring about the way your body looks (if thatās relevant to your ED)? Also, do you want to change? Even if you know your behaviors are harmful to yourself, do you care? And if thereās anyone here who has recovered, what helped the most in your recovery?
Iāve never posted here before, and Iām not sure if this is the right sub to ask these kinds of questions, but Iāve been thinking about this for a while. For some context, I have some disordered tendencies, especially when Iām stressed, and I sort of think I picked them up from my family. I donāt think I have developed a full-fledged eating disorder but I have struggled with binge eating and obsession over food and exercise. I have two older siblings that were bulimic since they were young teenagers. I feel like their EDs were largely motivated by the desire to be thin, or to improve their self-esteem I suppose. I guess thatās not necessarily always the cause of the behavior, but it does seem like the driving factor for both of them. Neither of them have ever gotten treatment for their EDs, and only one of them is considering it. Iām afraid for the long term consequences for them, but I sort of think that they arenāt afraid at all and have normalized their disordered habits. Iām not sure what to say to them when I can tell theyāve been having issues, so I usually donāt say anything. If someone knew about your ED and wanted to help you, how would you want them to approach it? Or would you prefer that they not say anything at all, because you would want to keep that aspect of your life private and donāt need any support?
Sorry, that was a really long post! I wasnāt really sure how to edit it, so I understand if you skip most of it! I really appreciate any feedback to my questions or just whatever you have to say. Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] I'm drunk af and I love you guys
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | (treatment rip) | GW 95lbs]
Created: Sat Feb 3 01:34:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uy8gx/im_drunk_af_and_i_love_you_guys/
---
Hello there I have had a lot of vodka and I just wanna make a s/o to all you lovely, supportive, dazzling humans. I know you are struggling so much and it fucking sucks, but I love you and appreciate you more than anything. Seriously. THANK YOU for being who you are, even if you don't love yourself as much as you deserve. No one gets it besides you. You make my existence bearable
[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate and love losing weight at the same time.
/u/kein-08-15 [5'6/172 cm | CW146 lbs/66 kg | 22.3 | 20 lbs/9kg lost | female]
Created: Sat Feb 3 00:44:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uy26i/i_fucking_hate_and_love_losing_weight_at_the_same/
---
I donāt even know if thatās a rant but whatever, maybe someone relates.
So on the one hand I really love losing weight. I gives me back the control I lost. It makes me feel less of a pig. It makes me feel superior to all the people that failed their diet. Iām getting skinnier everyday and I love it. I fit into old clothes again. I love weighting myself in the morning. I love feeling hungry and not eating until 3 pm. I love laying in bed at night with my stomach grumbling. I love knowing what Iām eating and tracking calories. I feel like Iām having my glow up.
But at the same time I hate it. When I reach my goal weight I never want to have to lose weight again. Thatās something Iām promising myself. It seems so far away but I know Iāll reach it. But the whole thing is exhausting. Itās exhausting hitting a plateau. When Iām laying in bed hungry Iām wondering why the fuck Iām doing this. I hate not eating intuitively (even though that would fuck everything up) but counting and weighing everything I eat. But most I hate how fucking long it takes and what a little bitch the human body is. I eat 800 kcal a day for a week and Iām not losing anything then I have a binge with about 2500 kcal and the next day Iāve dropped 3 lbs???? Are you fucking kidding me??? Iām hungry the whole day only to see the number on the scale has only gone down by 0.2 lbs? I have lost 25 lbs only to look in the mirror and see no change. I feel as much of a huge blob than I have 6 months ago.
I swear and I promise when Iāve reached my goal weight Iām never going to lose again. Iām never going to let myself get fat again. Itās a fucking pain in the ass. And I hate it.
[Rant/Rave] My new apartment is fucking crooked.
/u/-Deadgirlwalking
Created: Sat Feb 3 00:12:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uxxz0/my_new_apartment_is_fucking_crooked/
---
This is so so so stupid. But it's two in the morning, and I'm on the floor crying because my scale isn't right. It's showing 150, 134, 147. Depends on where I put it. I'm a grown ass woman who had wine for dinner and spent the night crying and moving my scale around frantically trying to find an even spot. I'm so sick of this shit. My ED at its best makes me feel clean and in control, it also keeps my other mental health issues in check. This isn't even the most pathetic thing ive done, just thought I'd share...Pretty sure I'm sleeping on the floor in my living room tonight; Probably clutching the stupid fucking scale in my chubby arms.
[Help] Satiating vegan meals for someone trying to recover
/u/Idunnoking [5ā1 | CW90.6| GW95 | 16FāØ]
Created: Sat Feb 3 00:07:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uxx4t/satiating_vegan_meals_for_someone_trying_to/
---
So Iām trying to recover as of recently but one thing Iāve noticed is that Iām very anxious at the idea of becoming too full or too hungry. Itās almost like reactionary as once I become hungry I feel obligated to eat and if that happens right after a meal (or in the first three hours after it) it nearly triggers an anxiety attack and I just become a complete nervous wreck as I feel even more out of control then Iām willingly to challenge as of right now . Iām looking for meal or snack ideas that are satiating so that I donāt have to think about food during the time that Iām not actually eating or prevent any binges from occurring (if that makes any sense) Ones that I have found thus far is sweet potatoes and oatmeal but thatās pretty limited š I know this may be an odd place to ask but Iām hoping I might be able to gain some insight anyways. Thank u v much for any of those who take their time to reply š
[Rant/Rave] Been messing up.
/u/bannaberry
Created: Fri Feb 2 21:53:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uxc16/been_messing_up/
---
A week plus one day without working out and suffering with a full fledge binging.
I hate the flu.
I hate the stomach bug.
I hate the week before my period.
WHY DID IT ALL COME TOGETHER.
#teacherlyfe.
[Other] Just joined peach and this subreddit!
/u/VixenOnReddit
Created: Fri Feb 2 21:41:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uxa02/just_joined_peach_and_this_subreddit/
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[removed]
[Help] I'm scared to fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 2 21:18:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ux66c/im_scared_to_fast/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Drunkarexic problems
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 2 21:16:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ux5s7/drunkarexic_problems/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend wants me to gain weight back
/u/thingsarestranger
Created: Fri Feb 2 20:58:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ux2kw/boyfriend_wants_me_to_gain_weight_back/
---
Idk why it bothers me SO much but my boyfriend and I started dating when I was in a phase of binging (without purging most of the time but sometimes) so I was at my highest weight 160-170 at 5ā3. I lost weight (no scale) over 4 months lost 4 inches from my bust, 7 inches from my hips, and 7 inches from my waist. Iāve always had an hourglass figure but I think it looks way more elegant and prominent now. My stomach is flatter and my thighs donāt look like sausages. He calls me twiggy. Tells me he misses āmy butt, my boobs, my womanly curvesā aka my fat. I had fat all over my body and was very squishy. Now I am kind of boney and hard. Iām trying to just maintain at the moment but he wants me to gain the weight back. He isnāt interested in sex and I donāt like how he touches my bones and comments on how much Iām eating. He says he likes me with more meat on my bones and misses my curves. I like being thinner but I hate knowing that he isnāt sexually attracted to me. What do I do?
[Intro] Intro and rant??
/u/IiIbeansprout
Created: Fri Feb 2 20:35:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uwyc7/intro_and_rant/
---
hey! i just made a new account to be able to post here cause i've been struggling mega hard and too many people i know know my main account.
i guess my intro is: hello! im lilbeansprout, im 19, im 5'0, and i weigh about ~126. i've had extreme cycles of restriction and binging since i was about 11, and i just really need some support. i'm really frustrated about my college and myself and i don't know, i'm just fed up with having no willpower and a stomach.
i tried "recovery" a few times with more balanced diets and structured schedules but every 3 weeks i lose all willpower and i end up binging for 3 weeks, then restricting again, wash, rinse, repeat. im at a complete loss. my BMI is the high end of healthy on a good day and in overweight territory on a bad day and i really, really just think i'm a failure. i have body dysmorphia, i have no idea what i look like, i constantly clock not only my own calories, but those of my peers, and any mention of "intuitive eating" sends me into a blind range. i honestly just need support rn.
my parents are both good with food and exercise, and all of my friends can eat regular sized portions and be fine. i legit can't even go to the school cafeteria because i know i'll end up binge eating and looking disgusting in front of my friends. i get drunk for fun and end up binging every time. my parents are always on my ass about "eating three meals a day" and "running" and im sick of it!
my only crutch rn is my celiac diagnosis, which keeps me from eating 90% of the food at school or else i accidentally purge it. i never want "healthy" food, i will literally drive an hour to get pad thai after a fast. i have no idea what i'm doing!!!!
i have three big trips coming up, one with my school and two with my family, and i will NOT look like the whale from last year. nobody even notices me not eating, i guess cause im disgusting? maybe they wish i'd stop eating. once i'm on my PC i'll figure out my flair but i really need to get to my GW by march. i know how to get there, and its in the "healthy" BMI range, but ill be damned if i do it slowly.
thanks for reading, i'm so sorry for the disjointed rant. i'm probably going to see my uni counselor about this soon, since my friends and boyfriends really don't need to hear about this
[Discussion] Incognito!!
/u/gotanaoohnana
Created: Fri Feb 2 20:30:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uwxgp/incognito/
---
Canāt flair but please flair discussion.
My spouse is going to be working from home in a month, for 3 months.
They know an irritating amount about nutrition - enough that lots of tricks donāt work (eg knowing a massive bowl of popcorn is barely any food), but not enough to stop giving shitty advice (eg saying fish and chips is a good light lunch). They are very active, super high lean muscle mass, low body fat percentage, and eat ~3000 calories a day.
Weāll be around each other 24/7 and I wonāt get away with my usual of 400 calories throughout the day and 400 calories for dinner. Because my daytime foods are apparently ānot enoughā and ānot real foodā and ānot nutritiousā.
What are your go-to foods for staying incognito? Iām going to stock the hell up on celery. I wish I liked soup š
Also disclaimer in case of comments that I should be allowed to make my own decisions without pressure: we are codependent as fuck but it works for us. I married an awesome human who only wants the best for me and nagging me about my admittedly terrible food habits is well worth it. Iād just like to avoid gaining 50lb because of their average food habits.
[Discussion] Just got peach !!
/u/hibyelxsa
Created: Fri Feb 2 20:20:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uwvmt/just_got_peach/
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On mobile so mark discussion
Just got peach and would love to add some of you guys, my username is same as here hibyelxsa
[Rant/Rave] He supported me "trying an anorexic diet" AKA Toxic people.
/u/UglyGirlUglyWorld
Created: Fri Feb 2 20:07:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uwtbq/he_supported_me_trying_an_anorexic_diet_aka_toxic/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Mold saved me
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Fri Feb 2 19:23:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uwkkm/mold_saved_me/
---
I was going to make a cheese tortilla. Homemade isnāt as good as the Taco Bell cheese rolls ups of course, but I was craving and too lazy to get in my car.
So I got out a tortilla and got a whiff of something odd. Figured it was the sink. Flipped the bag over and saw SO MUCH MOLD. There goes that tortilla! I ended up kind of glad that this happened, because cheese tortillas are just a calorie bomb and make my digestive tract freak out.
[Help] Friends?
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Fri Feb 2 18:53:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uwem6/friends/
---
I'm not like talking encouraging each other's eating disorder. I just want someone I can talk to. I'm really lonely. I'm 18 and I live on the eastern shore of the US. Maybe if I get enough responses, we can all have a group chat?
[Other] Finally Downloaded Peach š
/u/bonitahermosura
Created: Fri Feb 2 18:48:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uwdk8/finally_downloaded_peach/
---
You guys are amazing and I would luv to have lots of friends to talk with so feel free to add me!! @delgaditabonita :)
[Intro] Starting recovery (again)
/u/maetabee
Created: Fri Feb 2 18:46:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uwd75/starting_recovery_again/
---
Hey everyone. I've had anorexia since I was 12 and been on/off recovered since. I had a pretty bad relapse recently and lost 10 lbs. I'm 90 lbs and 5'4", so my BMI is 15.4. I'm still about 6 lbs heavier from when I very first got sick and entered recovery, which is part of the reason why I put off getting help for so long. I knew I was getting worse, but I didn't want to recover because I hadn't hit my lowest weight again.
I uhh kind of accidentally got myself into recovery again. I had been seeing a therapist and I was supposed to start group therapy for my food issues through my university. Before group therapy, I had to have a screening session with an ED specialist on campus. She basically said I was too sick for group, and that I was going to stop seeing my old therapist and become her client instead. She also gave me the numbers of a medical doctor and a nutritionist to call before our next appointment which is next week. I had been putting off making those phone calls because I'm terrified of recovery and gaining weight, but today I finally made the calls, and now have doctor appointments scheduled for next week. I was looking at photos of myself from when I was 100 lbs or so, and I just looked so much healthier. I really hadn't noticed how sick I had gotten, and when I spent an hour crying this morning about if I should go grocery shopping or get coffee, and if I did get coffee would I get a latte or just black coffee because if I get a latte then obviously I can't eat cheerios like I had planned to, and something in my brain was just like, god, I'm sick of this, I don't want to live my life like this.
Anyway, it's really hard for me to talk to my friends and family about this stuff, so I just wanted to get it all out here. Honestly it's been frustrating that no one has told me I look sick, another reason why I've been so hesitant to start recovery. I just really want someone to tell me they're worried and that I look sick, but no one has. I'm so terrified to recover, but I really don't want to live like this anymore. Thanks for reading y'all. I'm going to go try to eat dinner now, wish me luck!
[Rant/Rave] I need to get through the next few days without being a complete and total bitch
/u/lanadelrayban
Created: Fri Feb 2 18:37:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uwbhy/i_need_to_get_through_the_next_few_days_without/
---
Iāve already reached my āSunday goal,ā but I donāt even care bc Iām in such bad mood.
Iām in a bad mood bc my birthday is next week and I fucking hate my birthday. I hate getting older. It just reminds me that another year has passed and my life is still shit.
Iām highly annoyed that my mother decided to have a āfamily birthdayā/super bowl party Sunday. I fucking hate attention. Idkw it makes me so uncomfortable but it does.
I have a hair appointment tmrw and I donāt even want to go bc Iām in this bad mood. Obviously I canāt bail.
Currently, I also have to get the fucking zaxbys my mom brought home for dinner into the trash bc I donāt want it.. mostly bc of my fucking mood! Iām literally too angry to eat.
This fucking birthday super bowl party is going to fuck up my already reached goal.
And then Iām going to have to deal with my *actual* birthday.
Hope you all have a great wknd!
[Rant/Rave] Out of control
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Fri Feb 2 18:17:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uw7fo/out_of_control/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Do you guys use food scales?
/u/sogyosha
Created: Fri Feb 2 17:46:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uw0v0/do_you_guys_use_food_scales/
---
I want to buy one but I don't know where to start. Which brand is yours and do you find that it helps with accuracy?
[Rant/Rave] My valentines is saved by CHOCOLATE FLAVORED CANDLES!
/u/xxx07v
Created: Fri Feb 2 17:09:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uvsfb/my_valentines_is_saved_by_chocolate_flavored/
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https://maxswaxhouse.com/shop/year-round-brews/imperial-chocolate-stout/
[Discussion] Feedback Wanted from Recovery Record/RiseUp! Users
/u/TreatmentTime [5'9 | 144 | 20.9 | -21 | 24]
Created: Fri Feb 2 16:34:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uvkq3/feedback_wanted_from_recovery_recordriseup_users/
---
Hi all,
/u/treatmenttime here - I mostly lurk and answer the occasional question
about treatment, therapy, and better living through pharmaceuticals; I
have too damn much time invested in all three of those things and like to
give back where I can.
Outside of ED-land, I work as a software developer. I see soooooo
much potential for technology to help deal with the maelstrom of thoughts our
EDs throw at us and we're stuck tapping through Recovery Record's eighteen
question form six times a day, getting nothing in return for our efforts.
I
would love to fix that (even a little) by releasing an app/service that offers sufferers and their clinicians better insight into their behaviour and patterns BUT I want to check that I'm not tilting at
windmills and imagining problems where there are none.
If you use Recovery Record, Rise Up!, Woebot, or even track your moods and
urges for a therapist with a diary card of some sort, I'd love to hear what
you like and dislike about the experience. I'm particularly interested to
learn whether:
- You find it hard to remember/stay on top of recording entries
- You prefer to log moods and intake in the moment or later in the day. Is it
easier for you to use your phone or paper?
- Find it helpful to be prompted by notifications to log
- Feel that there's benefit to record keeping of this nature.
- If you tracked intake with a meal logging app before, did switching to a recovery-oriented app help you stop with that behaviour?
If you prefer not to comment publicly, feel free to PM me.
[Rant/Rave] I keep reminding myself that it's not the end of the world...
/u/Death_by_Hedgehog
Created: Fri Feb 2 16:14:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uvg0b/i_keep_reminding_myself_that_its_not_the_end_of/
---
(Sorry mods, on mobile, please flair with rant! Thanks!)
I keep having to remind myself that the human body will not turn into gelatinous fat at 600 calories a day for a single week. That normal people have even more than that without gaining 10 lbs a week. That my body does not somehow defy thermodynamics. That my body, despite being pretty fucked up in a lot of ways, is not a medical miracle that can survive on nothing and get fat on little more than nothing. That having a little bit extra on occasion isn't going to be the end of the world. That, even if I were to miscount something and be at 800 for a day this week, that won't make me gain 10 lbs. That I'm bloated and anxious because my period is finally ending (even though I thought I had finally lost it). That I'm allowed to have two days off from all the stimulants so I can get some damn sleep and work on my mental health not being a complete wreck. That school is more important than being as thin as possible. That falling asleep by accident instead of purging 4 pretzels isn't the end of the world. That I'm allowed the love myself and pursue happiness and not try to drive my boyfriend and friends away by being a blob of depression and frustration. That things will be okay eventually.
[Rant/Rave] I LOVE cooking so much
/u/PainlessMe [17F | 1.75 | CW: 61.1 | GW: 50 | SW: 70.1]
Created: Fri Feb 2 16:09:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uver6/i_love_cooking_so_much/
---
Cooking for me is so perfect. My parents like that they can sit back a few times a week instead of having to cook after a long day of work, and they like that Iām trying out new recipes and learning to cook intuitively (as in learning which foods taste good together).
I, on the other hand, love cooking because I am in complete control of the food. I have the freedom to weigh and portion out every single ingredient, making my estimations so much more precise. Also Iāve been trying out more vegetarian and vegan meals because no meat means significantly fewer calories, in addition to it being cheaper, more environmentally friendly, and less supportive of shitty treatment of animals. The only person that doesnāt love it is my semi carnivorous brother but heāll just have to live with it :)
Iām literally so happy! I made amazing vegan pasta today and I got a squash to spaghettify somewhere this week (butternut squashes arenāt very common here) so Iāll be in the kitchen expanding my culinary skills.
[Rant/Rave] You know youāre messed up when a half of a cup of coffee makes you uncomfortably full
/u/fernsandfoxes [5ā6ā | CW:123 | BMI:19.93 | GW:110 | 18F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 16:07:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uve67/you_know_youre_messed_up_when_a_half_of_a_cup_of/
---
[removed]
[Other] first real fast in forever
/u/nxlx
Created: Fri Feb 2 16:03:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uvd5e/first_real_fast_in_forever/
---
I havenāt truly fasted since like august, but as of this afternoon around 2pm CST, I completed a 5-day (120 hours) fast. I broke it with a cup of fruit juice (70kcal) and a half-bowl of vegetable soup (110kcal) and Iām not completely upset with the results.... Iām down 19 lbs from where I was on the 25th of January. Iām sure itāll fluctuate as I replenish my bodyās nutrients, but for now, Iām not too worried. I feel strong.
[Help] I'm not in a good place
/u/Lmaoisuck666
Created: Fri Feb 2 15:44:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uv8no/im_not_in_a_good_place/
---
This is a throwaway I'm normally somewhat active on here and you guys are just the best so this is the first place I came to.
Long story short-ish: my friend told me she thinks she was sexually abused as a kid and is just remembering now. I was googling info to try and better support her. I found several different resources of indicators of if someone was sexually abused as child and doesn't remember. I matched with more than half of them. And not only that but the therapist I talked to several years ago was asking me all these same questions as if he knew but I just had no clue.
Does anyone have any experience/knowledge on the issue? I've had these concerns before because I do match a lot of sexual abuse symptoms but I just have NO recollection whatsoever of my childhood in general. Also ED related I am stressed tf out and want to binge even though I've been restricting for over a month.
Not to discredit myself (or maybe hopefully to discredit myself), I have a mood disorder NOS and have shown some symptoms of a manic state the past few days. Bipolar friends is hypochondria of this sort a manic symptom???
Thank you if you read this I'm so stressed out right now
[Tip] I've started a new habit of having a HUGE bowl of broth when I feel the need to binge.. and so far it's helping a lot!
/u/ignorado [š: ignorado]
Created: Fri Feb 2 15:28:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uv4ff/ive_started_a_new_habit_of_having_a_huge_bowl_of/
---
Try it guys!!
I'm only a few days into it (I've been bingeing almost every other day since November started) and I've been able to stay under 900 calories easily by just making myself a bowl of broth. Whether it's garlic based broth (15 cal), beef broth (10 cal), or miso broth (40 cal) ā the calories are honestly negligible compared to what you would have eaten if you binge ate.
I'm trying to use broth as a way to teach myself to stop eating when I'm no longer hungry. I feel like all my fellow BPers can relate to the feeling of being full but still craving "something more".. This fills you up really quickly and makes it so ingesting more food is no longer appealing. I know you can easily drink the same amount of water to get that feeling, but this satisfies the mental aspect of it as well.
The sodium doesn't bother me because I know it's not real. I haven't been weighing myself though because I know SEEING the water retention will fuck me up. I'm just gonna wait til the end of this month to finally get the scale out and probably fast the day before I do that so I can get my true weight.
Anyway, like I just said, I'm trying to do this for the rest of this month to get rid of the 15+ pounds I've gained through bingeing this winter.. so hopefully I can come back with a happy update!
[Rant/Rave] Binged 2000+ calories today
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Fri Feb 2 15:05:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uuys0/binged_2000_calories_today/
---
so i hit one of my goal weights, 95lbs , today and as it took me a lot of fasting to get there i was in need of food, feeling sick, weak, faint and shaky to a new level. I ate a piece of toast with hummus as this was always a fave of mine and felt i deserved this. My friend came round in the morning and we sat and socially ate, my biggest fear. We just snacked through the morning leaving me on almost 900 calories by noon. We then went out for a meal to TGI Fridays, very high calorie and very delicious. I had a chicken meal and let myself ignore calories. IT WAS 930 CALORIES. Obviously i couldnāt control myself when we later also had cookies and sweets. Iām about to weigh myself which i know i shouldnāt as iām full of food and drink but i canāt resist. Itās going to be bad.
[Rant/Rave] Im sick and all I can think about is calories in mucus
/u/aeroplanessky [5"3 | 110]
Created: Fri Feb 2 14:57:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uuwj1/im_sick_and_all_i_can_think_about_is_calories_in/
---
Please help I feel like I'm dying. This nasal drip won't stop and it's making me feel disgusting. Are there calories in mucus????
[Help] Help me pick my dinner!
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 103 | 18.2 | CGW: 100 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 14:51:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uuv5g/help_me_pick_my_dinner/
---
I'm going to dinner with my friends tonight and have been staring at the online menu for 45 minutes while deciding what to order that won't make me freak out. I had 350 cal at lunch because I thought that would be my only meal of the day but now we're going to a burger place where everything is probably 700 calories and I'm so anxious. I've narrowed it down to a hummus plate with pita and carrots, a veggie burger, and a mixed salad with grilled chicken. I don't want to waste my money on something I won't eat and won't keep me full (broke college student) so I'll most likely eat all of what I get. Which do you think I should choose? Or should I just get my favorite burger with blue cheese and act like a normal 20 year old lol
[Discussion] I know what (insert binge food here) tastes like, but I have no idea what not being overweight feels like and that is probably the one thing that keeps me sane and on track lately.
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Fri Feb 2 14:42:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uusqm/i_know_what_insert_binge_food_here_tastes_like/
---
I know every thing there is to know about:
-nachos
-Oreos
-Mac and cheese
-brownies
-cookies
-quesadillas
-four lokos (um hello 600+ cals a can should be illegal)
-Panda Express Orange chicken and chow mein
-pad Thai
-white chocolate mochas (also criminally high in calories)
The list goes on forever. However,
I know absolutely nothing about:
-bikini shopping with friends
-riding on a boys shoulders
-being picked up and spun around
-being the girl who had to sit in the middle seat/ on someoneās lap in the car because āsheās the smallest one hereā
- Borrowing my friends jeans
-wearing shorts and my thighs not rubbing holes into each other
- not being afraid to change in front of others
-not wearing high waisted jeans to cover my stomach rolls
-being on any level of a human pyramid higher than the bottom (Probably wonāt ever encounter one again but Iām in a sorority so itās a huge possibility)
So whenever I feel weak and like I just want to give in and eat some damn fried chicken and egg rolls, I think about how there is not a single piece of my favorite junk foods out there that will ever blow me away or taste better than Iāve already had before. Iāve had a cookie a billion times in my life, I already know what it tastes like, and I donāt need it. I have no idea what skinny feels like, and thatās the goal Iām chasing.
[Rant/Rave] I hate this encouragement
/u/hmptrw
Created: Fri Feb 2 14:25:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uuo91/i_hate_this_encouragement/
---
Today I told a friend that I had to start restricting again, and that because of the way this impacts my social life, I feel lonely.
He just keeps saying to me āthink of how much more weight youāll loseā and āitāll be worth it, just think of thatā. These are thoughts that I have myself, obviously, but having someone else encourage me like this feels awful.
Iām not saying I want him to pity me, but I donāt want him to encourage my bad habits either.
Sorry if this is rambling, I had to get this off my chest.
[Discussion] DAE else feel awful when they eat solid food?
/u/ImNotaTreeImaShrub [5'5" | CW/HW 195lbs | LW 115lbs | GW 130 lbs | UGW 115lbs | 32F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 14:11:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uukfd/dae_else_feel_awful_when_they_eat_solid_food/
---
Not sure what to flair this, so if I picked the wrong one Iām sorry.
Ive recently started restricting properly again after a few years of maintaining and then binging/compulsive over eating and occasional purging. And now all of a sudden when I eat solid food, I get a lump in my throat afterwards and just feel like Iāve got a rock in my stomach. Does anyone else get this?
[Other] pickles- omg
/u/euphoria_ever [5'9 | cw:118.6lbs | bmi:17.20 | gw:100 | 20F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 13:29:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uu9ka/pickles_omg/
---
oooooooommmmggggg ok i am like addicted to pickles- they are my favorite food. aaaaaaa
my favorite are the 'spear' ones like i seriously can't get enough. i think the big full jars are less expensive?? idk i feel like they dont taste as good and make me feel sick? sliced pickles are way better to me <3<3<3<3<3 i'm so excited right now <3
is there price effective sliced pickles?? i need to know ;_;;;; can i order big jars online?? my family is going to find me dead surrounded by pickle jars
[Discussion] Hungry or ADHD?
/u/clearandfull
Created: Fri Feb 2 12:48:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7utypv/hungry_or_adhd/
---
For those of you with ADD or similar problems, how do you know when your lack of focus is attributed to your hunger/lack of nutrients or your ADHD?
(TLDR: eat or adderall?)
[Discussion] Was just wondering..
/u/irrevocably_damaged [H: 5' 2" | CW: 125 | BMI: 22.9 | SW: 135 | GW: 98 | š]
Created: Fri Feb 2 12:45:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7utxr8/was_just_wondering/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Compliments on losing weight are just a punch to the throat.
/u/chelalune [5'6" ā | CW 152.8 | BMI 24.7 | š: chxlsea]
Created: Fri Feb 2 12:42:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7utwxt/compliments_on_losing_weight_are_just_a_punch_to/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Is anyone taking antidepressants or any other psychiatric medication here?
/u/NavigationalError [5'2'' | cw: 122.6 lbs | -37lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 12:34:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7utv0m/is_anyone_taking_antidepressants_or_any_other/
---
I feel like this isn't the place for it, but I think I feel most comfortable here. (everyone is so nice, i love all of you)
I'm having like an identity crisis of some sort?? Like, I questioned who I am as a person. Am I really me? Or am I just a person with a personality developed from antidepressants? If I wasn't taking the medication I'm taking, would I have the same friends? Would people still talk to me? How different would I be? I feel so dependent on medication, ugh.
[Goal] GW shopping spree and glo up?
/u/delaneyjay
Created: Fri Feb 2 12:19:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7utqz6/gw_shopping_spree_and_glo_up/
---
[removed]
Big fasting mood
/u/imperfectcontrol [5'6" | CW: 115 | 18.56 | CGW: 100 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 11:59:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7utlgz/big_fasting_mood/
---
http://imgur.com/nHEzeft
[Help] idgaf about work anymore, need motivation
/u/InterestingPiano
Created: Fri Feb 2 11:57:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7utkyt/idgaf_about_work_anymore_need_motivation/
---
So ive been on leave from work for a hot minute while in treatment (for something non-ED related). I gave myself the goal of going back on monday. Problem is that now im very deep in the rabbit hole and have no interest in going back to work, where Iāll be tied to a desk all day and *around people all the time*. I have no idea what to do, i used to love my job but now im entirely obsessed with counting calories and planning meals and cant focus on anything else. :/ has anyone else dealt with this? Tips would be appreciated ty <3
[Rant/Rave] My Topshop Goal,*the most amazing trousers I have ever seen* and an Enraging Sizing Dilemma
/u/scrawny-cat [5' 6"|CW 121lb|BMI 19.61|GW 112lb|F32]
Created: Fri Feb 2 11:28:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7utd1s/my_topshop_goalthe_most_amazing_trousers_i_have/
---
Long time lurker (years) first time poster. Unsure how wise it is to be posting. It feels safer watcher and I don't really want to break that.
But no other people will appreciate the dilemma I and facing, so *phew, takes a deep breath* here we go.
##My Goal
One of my goals is to be an easy, effortless Topshop UK size 8 (US size 4) again. I always was through my twenties. At one point at was an effortless size 6, would could have probably gone to a 4, had they stocked size 4 clothes at that time.
Like you all (probably), I don't want to reach the point of people thinking I am emaciated and giving me a hard time all the time. Or getting to the point where it makes me feel sick to eat anything again, but I wouldn't mind maybe going a little smaller even. Maybe a 6 - 8. I don't know.
##How I Got Fat
I used to smoke *a lot*. All day every day, complusively. It wasn't how I got to be skinny in the first place, but it did help me stay there.
I quit three years ago, while trying to be healthy and attempting a 'recovery' for my family and I gained some weight. Not quickly. It was slow and it snuck up on me and before I knew it was on the larger side of size 10. I was pretty disguised with myself. It hadn't really dawned on me this was a possibility. I'd always struggled to put on weight before. Smoking must have been why.
##The Journey
I've spent the last few years trying to get back to where I was. I just about made it there once. Then stupidly and complacently thought I had learnt how much to eat for that weight intuitively. I knew the calories in what I ate now, surely if I stopped logging, weighing and just ate what I knew it would be fine?
Well nope. But you probably guessed that right?
I gained most of it back. I'm back on track and I'm just over half way back to my goal weight now.
##Goal Clothes
I've been buying trousers as motivation. Gorgeous ones I can't wait to wear, that really will look disgusting if I wear them too soon.
The first pair was by accident. H&M silver ones. I thought they would be in my current size going by the size chart, but I forget that H&M runs so small. When I bought them I couldn't do them up at all, but I loved them so much I couldn't send them back. I can do them up now, but I still have 5 more pounds before the look *nice on*.
##The Most Amazing Trousers Everā¢
A little while ago, I saw 'the most amazing trousers I have ever seen', on the Topshop website. I don't lust after clothes much these days, I have no where to wear nice ones. But these made my jaw drop. Unicorn trousers like I didn't know could exist.
I couldn't really afford them at the time and they sold out. So I just told myself I was never meant to have things that pretty in the first place.
The a week or so ago, as if my magic, they appeared in the 70% off sale. **In my goal size only**.
I nearly fell off my chair. It must be a sign that they were meant to be mine. All the other ones that were similar were also in the sale (though they never sold out), so I bought them all too. Two were the same cut including the amazing pair, one was different.
##Their Arrival
When they arrived I had a little panic. The amazing pair (**pair 1**) were not just amazing, they were also some of the smallest trousers I had seen in a long time. They looked smaller than some I had at my LW.
All was not lost, they were much more stretchy than I imagined and I could get them on. Though they don't look pretty round the hips yet. There's flab hanging over and the zip is pulling a bit. I'm more worried for the trousers than I am for me. I don't want to damage the fabric with my stupid hips.
I tried on the other pair (**pair 2** in the same size and cut, they fit almost perfectly. Another couple of pounds wouldn't hurt, but they're comfortable. I'd wear them now.
I measured the two pairs against each other, they were half an inch different across the waistband laid flat.
The third pair (**pair 3**), also in the same size are big. Proper fat day trousers. I'd happily wear them on my time of the month and it would be no effort.
##Goal Destroyed
Sooo, there goes my size goal. It no longer makes sense. My goal trousers fit me, are too small and too big all at once.
I'd remembered Topshop being quite consistent :/ But being broke and feeling to fat and old to go in has stopped me shopping there for a while. They also seem to have a million methods of sizing clothes they didn't use to have back then. How many kinds of jeans do they stock now?
I googled the amazing trousers. I saw several bloggers say they had to go two sizes up. So when the size above came back into stock, I ordered that too, to see what it was like.
I love these trousers so much, I don't want to never wear them because they are too unsafe.
The larger ones came today (**pair 4**), fucking massive they are. I almost hate them. I don't like the look of them off, they look a bit better on. They are comfortable, easy to wear, no pudge around the top at all. They're slightly baggy on my legs.
I measure them against the original tiny ones (**pair 1**). About half an inch different. Wait I think, isn't that about the same difference at the ones at fit perfectly (**pair 2**)? So I measure them against those.
There might be about 2mm in it.
##Trying them on again
I try them all on again to see if my assessment of how they fit is still the same. It is.
I'm feeling so confused at the point about what size they are and what size I am, I'm about ready to start flipping tables over in a rage.
It's been a rollercoaster. Thinking I was near my goal, then finding out my goal was utter bullshit.
I fear that being older than I was and having learnt recently that hip bone spread while aging is a real thing, not just something my Mother says to try to make me feel sick, even if I lost all my hip fat they may never fit okay.
The pair 4 are easy to wear. The models on the website wear them looser than I like them too. So that should be a good thing? But somehow, it just isn't.
~~I don't know which pair to send back. I can't keep them both.~~ That's a lie isn't it? I am going to keep the smaller ones and hate myself some more that I can never wear them.
I'm not too upset. I'm more, frustrated, puzzled, tired.
I don't know how much weight I am really going to need to lose. And I don't know if I can trust my judgement about when I get there now.
Or if I will ever get to wear 'the most amazing trousers everā¢'.
##TL;DR:
My Topshop size 8 goal was stupid. I don't know if I will ever wear my amazing trousers. I am also disgusted with myself for breaking a multiple year long lurking session, before I have broken 120lb. Pathetic, pathetic, creature.
Hi :)
[Rant/Rave] Work anxiety colliding with ED anxiety
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 11:23:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7utbz0/work_anxiety_colliding_with_ed_anxiety/
---
I know I complain about this waaaay too much but guess who is anxious again!
So I have super been struggling with recovery lately. I managed to get up to 108lbs at the end of 2017 (my recovery bmi goal is 20) and as of this morning I am back down to 102. Losing 6 pounds in a couple months is by no means rapid weight loss, but that doesn't matter cause I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LOSING WEIGHT.
Anyway february's goal is to get back on track with recovery and maintain. I will worry about gaining to a 20 bmi some other month.
Except recovery itself is a massively anxiety inducing experience. This is where the title comes into play.
My job is stressful, and lately it has been beyond stressful. I dread going to sleep at night, knowing that I have to wake up and go to work the next day. From the time I wake up to the time I get to my job I already have become anxious. I work for an amazing company, it is just that I have made a few mistakes (I am new to the job) and trying to fix them has been incredibly stressful. I pride myself on my competency and feel my value is really only derived from my ability to be successful at my hobbies and at work.
Recovery means giving up the only thing I am good at these days. I am only adequate at work and mediocre in my other hobbies. And now I have anxiety at work and anxiety at home cause wherever I go I am confronted by either my job or my ED.
So basically that whole ramble is to say, I am an anxious worthless wreck and don't know how to cope. I can't keep on track at work because I am constantly anxious about my health/recovery and I can't keep on track with my recovery cause I am anxious about my job.
[Rant/Rave] Update: My doctor put a stop fill on my anxiety and adhd medication. Sheās not weening me off my meds- stopping them completely!! (Link to original post )
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 103 | 16.6 | GW: 98| 35/F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 11:04:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ut6il/update_my_doctor_put_a_stop_fill_on_my_anxiety/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ujr9k/fuck_fuck_fuck/?st=JD68GK2H&sh=e29cd55b
[Help] Tired all the time
/u/Roseemacculate02
Created: Fri Feb 2 10:54:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ut3td/tired_all_the_time/
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How do you guys stay energized with restricting? I usually feel dizzy when I restrict and it makes it harder to not eat. Is there a supplement or pill? I feel like energy drinks will only make me feel crazy lol I do like viso tho. Anyway, just curious how you guys deal with this!
[Intro] Long-time/first-time clichƩ enforcer
/u/dalliantdoll [5'1 | CW 92 | BMI 18.15 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 10:37:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7usz3e/longtimefirsttime_clichƩ_enforcer/
---
Yet another longtime lurker/first time poster joining your tangible ranks! I finally got around to accessing my backup account, and am honestly just so relieved to be able to start posting on here for once. I always want to chime in, ask questions, share an anecdote, vent, etc, but thereās far too much personal info on my main account for me to shake the anxiety of publicly linking myself here š
Anyhow, Iāve been dealing with disordered eating issuesā¢ļø for about 4-5 years now, diagnosed AN but honestly it feels much more like EDNOS when you get anywhere under the surface of it all. Was supposed to move off to uni this past fall but I wasnāt 18 at the time, so Iāve been forced into a gap year to āstabilizeā and what not.
No idea where Iām at now honestly. Iāve been physically healthier before and thought I was worse, and Iāve been physically sicker and thought I was fine, so I have no clue what to think of myself anymoreā most of the time I just feel like a fraud trying to obnoxiously pass myself off as someone whoās āreally sickā when Iām not, but also Logic Brain knows thatās bs. And yet the feeling remains, so ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
In short, nice to meet u all, might see me around a bit more, & I hope your dayās going as best as it can!
[Help] Any ideas on the weight of a plaster leg cast?
/u/IndigoSeasons [5'9" | CW 138 | CGW 118 | BMI 20 | Female]
Created: Fri Feb 2 10:17:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ustgg/any_ideas_on_the_weight_of_a_plaster_leg_cast/
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I feel this is the ONLY place who will understand why this is an important question.
Anyway, iām currently casted in a plaster cast... temporary til i have some major surgery on my broken leg and foot. The cast is from toe to knee, and iām pretty tall (5ā9ā).
Stepping (ok, balancing and then hopping) on the scale shows iām up almost 5 lbs. :( :( :(
Is it possible this damn cast weighs that much? I have been eating sort of normally (aka making a conscious effort to eat a good source of protein and healthy foods at least 2x a day), because docs said i wonāt heal otherwise and legit yelled at me.
Anyone had one of these asshole casts before and did you possibly ever figure out the weight of it? Or just an educated guess?
[Rant/Rave] breaking down over maintenance
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 2 10:03:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uspln/breaking_down_over_maintenance/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I feel so lost and out of control
/u/b_elle
Created: Fri Feb 2 09:36:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7usii8/i_feel_so_lost_and_out_of_control/
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I lurk this sub constantly and felt like this was the only place I could express my feelings.. hope this post is ok, sorry if it breaks any rules!!)
I (26/F) consider myself to be a smart, independent and capable person. I have traveled extensively, lived in foreign places, am in the pursuit of higher education and have overcome a lot to be where I am today.
About 3 months ago I started talking to this guy. We matched on tinder, went on some dates, and slept together. We talked every day.
As of 2 weeks ago, things change. I can feel him becoming more distant. I flat out ask him if he is seeing other people; he is, which is ok because our situationship has never been defined. But he likes this other girl.
Suddenly I am spiraling and feel out of control. So weak and pathetic, how could I have been so stupid to let this happen? To get my hopes up? I feel so foolish for imagining introducing him to my family and anticipating travel together, which he had talked about.
So I restrict; because it is the only thing I can control. And it makes me feel so good.
[Discussion] Filling but low-calorie
/u/Kvltness1461
Created: Fri Feb 2 09:28:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7usg5b/filling_but_lowcalorie/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE get really fixated on one type of food/meal and make it all the time?
/u/PlanetArkanis [5'8'' | CW ā¹ | -58.4lbs | F22]
Created: Fri Feb 2 09:25:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7usfl9/dae_get_really_fixated_on_one_type_of_foodmeal/
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I have this habit of becoming extremely fixated on one meal that I will eat for days until I get sick of it.
Recently, itās roasted zucchini and yellow squash. Before that, it was Progresso light chicken noodle soup. Before /that/, it was black beans and veggie dogs.
Now that I think about it, this might just be a āsafe foodā thing, but I will literally eat the same breakfast/lunch/dinner/what have you for days on end because itās all I want.
Iām pretty sure I picked this up from my mom, but she does it mostly with junk food (tuna sandwiches from Subway, strawberry pop-tarts, etc.)
Does anyone else do this?
[Rant/Rave] Just another vent
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 106 | GW: idk | F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 09:20:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7use4r/just_another_vent/
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Iām mad at myself. Iāve been trying to get better. I finally felt like I had stopped letting food control my life. I was being more social. I was lying less. Everything was going well. I even deleted MFP (even though I know how many calories are in everything).
I went out with a friend last night for dinner and he bought me a HUGE plate of food. It was so good. I ate so much. I let myself indulge. But it went too far. I thought about purging. But I didnāt. (Havenāt purged since June) There was so much food in my stomach. I took a lax before work this morning (havenāt taken any about a year) thinking itās okay to clean out my system as long as I donāt abuse them, right?
Anyway. Skipped breakfast. Intermittent fasting is okay right? Told myself Iāll eat when Iām hungry. Now itās lunch time and I was invited to have lunch with a bunch of people at work. I would have loved to go but all I packed for lunch was a nutrition bar and a yogurt and I donāt even know if I feel like eating that and I didnāt want others to look at me weird for not eating.....
So I lied. I told them I already had lunch plans. And now Iām sad. Sitting alone at my desk, writing this out, because I needed to get the thoughts out of my head. If you got this far, thank you for reading.
Update: one of the guys I told I already had lunch plans just walked by me sitting at my desk by myself. Lol at my life.
[Rant/Rave] Clothing Sizes
/u/wrinkle-crease
Created: Fri Feb 2 09:03:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7us9p0/clothing_sizes/
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This is something that has bothered me for years and nobody seems to get it when I bring it up...
So I have a younger sister who is smaller than me in frame, and she is about 100lb and 5'2". I myself fluctuate between 110-120 and I am slightly taller (5'4"), but since she is ultra fit she is quite tiny. Whenever we get clothes as gifts or mom purchases something for us, she always gets size XS since it's what fits her, yet I always get size M or L. This bothers me so much because I consider myself to be pretty slim, and I typically wear size S and in jeans I am size 26. It makes me so self conscious when people look at me and assume I am much larger than I am?? Like this is something that bothers me so much and I just needed to vent to people who might understand my struggle :/ always the fatter sister :(
[Help] Help me time my Zoloft, EC stack, and lax?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 2 08:56:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7us7w7/help_me_time_my_zoloft_ec_stack_and_lax/
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[deleted]
[Help] Did your weight loss rate decline?
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11 | BMI 19.47 | GW 135 | š spawnofsithis]
Created: Fri Feb 2 08:49:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7us66u/did_your_weight_loss_rate_decline/
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[removed]
Will I gain āreal weight ā from a 2 day binge?
/u/pathetiqe
Created: Fri Feb 2 08:17:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uryk0/will_i_gain_real_weight_from_a_2_day_binge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] OMAD
/u/dietingbear
Created: Fri Feb 2 06:51:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7urevp/omad/
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has anyone who has problems w/ binging had luck with this? I feel like it might work for me? Like save all my cals for the evening and then have a 1000 cal binge lmao
Opinions?
[Help] What are your favorite ways to get electrolytes without sacrificing calories?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 128.6 | BMI: 25.1 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 06:39:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7urces/what_are_your_favorite_ways_to_get_electrolytes/
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So, I feel like absolute shit if I restrict under 600. I can physically do it that day, but the next day is complete hell. I feel like shit, can't concentrate, feel light headed and nauseous. Someone suggested that it's a lack of electrolytes. What are your favorite diet sports drinks/electrolyte supplements?
[Help] Fasting help
/u/pathetiqe
Created: Fri Feb 2 06:12:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ur6zy/fasting_help/
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[removed]
[Discussion] February 2nd, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 06:01:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ur4qx/february_2nd_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Who do you live with?
I live by myself and itās the besssst. I never want to live with anyone else ever again.
[Help] Risky?
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Fri Feb 2 05:50:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ur2nd/risky/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! February 02, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 2 05:12:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uqw9h/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for February 02, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 02, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 2 05:12:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uqw8z/daily_food_diary_february_02_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 02, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] prescribed prozac
/u/lostinitt [5'6" | CW: 97 | GW: 92| 25F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 04:43:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uqrd4/prescribed_prozac/
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I was just prescribed prozac for my anxiety and was told to take it every morning with breakfast, but when I got the prescription it doesn't say take with food, does anyone know if its ok to take on an empty stomach? I usually don't eat breakfast and don't want to start...Also has anyone had any experience with taking it, will it cause me to gain weight? Did you have a positive or negative experience taking it? sorry so many questions lol
[Rant/Rave] Just so distressed
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Fri Feb 2 01:59:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uq38v/just_so_distressed/
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I'm just not doing well mentally at all. I don't even know what to say I guess I just need to rant.
I binge and purge every day despite wanting to stop. I'm in financial trouble because of this. I am not feeling motivated for school. My relationships with people are suffering.
I am just deteriorating and drowning in self hate. I don't know what to do. What helps you guys feel better?
[Help] Help please! I'm going on a planned lunch on Sunday and need help with calories!
/u/hollowedheart_ [5'7" | CW 126 | GW 125 | UGW 120 |]
Created: Fri Feb 2 01:40:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uq0m2/help_please_im_going_on_a_planned_lunch_on_sunday/
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Hey there! So a bunch of friends are all planning on going to lunch to this shabu shabu ( Japanese boil pot cooking) restaurant where you boil your own meats, veggies and noodles. You can also make rice paper wraps. Seems pretty healthy but I'm more nervous about the ice cream place after:
I really would like your guys help with estimating the total calories in one of these- it's an Asian dessert. I'll put a link to it so you can help me. SO Nervous about it but I've had the ice cream and it is super amazing. Here's the link:
[Somi Somi Ice Cream](https://m.facebook.com/somisomiicecream/)
Also- the bread/pastry part is filled with red bean filling with the ice cream on top. Thank you guys! I usually try to eat 600 or under calories for the whole day but I know it will be over that.
[Rant/Rave] I just want to disappear
/u/giraffle9 [62in | CW 117 |GW 95 | -43]
Created: Fri Feb 2 00:51:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uptl1/i_just_want_to_disappear/
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Maybe this is just a 2am thought but I just so longingly want to disappear into myself. To waste away to nothing. To become a skeleton and decompose into the earth and be done. I'm so tired of this...and I don't know what I hope to achieve by this post. I just feel like many of you can relate and I hope you know you're not alone.
[Rant/Rave] Binging.....again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 2 00:47:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7upsz4/bingingagain/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7upsz4/bingingagain/
[Discussion] DAE get extremely pissed off at people who just flat out deny weight loss science?
/u/fatterfly [5'4" | 150 lolfml | 25.6 | -6 | 24F | RELAPSE HELLO!]
Created: Fri Feb 2 00:30:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7upqd7/dae_get_extremely_pissed_off_at_people_who_just/
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I've lurked on many proed forums and I see people spewing inaccuracies all. the. fucking. time. It's so infuriating. Some examples I remember:
- A girl claiming she keeps gaining fat although her deficit is around 2000-3000 (how even???) and blamed it on her metabolism. She got extremely offended and "triggered" when people called her out.
- Speaking of deficits, SO many people claiming they've burned 2000+ calories a day. Some of them claim it's by just walking or jogging, not even any high intensity stuff.
- Shit like it's "impossible to gain weight if you go keto/vegan/paleo/etc" drives me up the wall.
- People saying they've been plateauing for months and getting offended when someone points out that they must be counting wrong because a plateau can't last for 6 fucking months
I don't know why I get so worked up about this shit but holy fuck it drives me insane. Anyone else feel the same way?
[Help] How to feel less shitty about breaking a fast?
/u/PM_M3_UR_SECRETS [163cm | CW 55kg | GW 50kg | HW 80kg]
Created: Fri Feb 2 00:22:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7upp5e/how_to_feel_less_shitty_about_breaking_a_fast/
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I just broke my 41 hour fast with a 200 cal breakfast. Originally I was just going to do 24 hours but I didn't feel hungry so I just kept going, and I'm not hungry now but I have to drive somewhere by car in a bit and I read on here that it can be unsafe to drive when fasting, so I had something to eat. It's just that now that I've eaten something I feel horrible because I know that I could have done at least 48 hours and I didn't even bother to fucking check or ask you guys again about driving when fasting (I've previously made a post about that). So I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance that it was the correct thing to do. Is there a limit on how long you can fast before it becomes dangerous to drive? And what do you guys do to make yourselves feel better when you break a fast? Hope you're all doing okay. <3
[Other] The Truth About Slim People (2017 documentary, 47min.)
/u/exgravitas [F/24/160 | CW 55 | GW 48.5]
Created: Thu Feb 1 23:32:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uph4k/the_truth_about_slim_people_2017_documentary_47min/
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https://youtu.be/GoRh5-gCCrc
[Intro] i'm back. soo... intro?
/u/skinnylove73 [5'10 | 124 | 17.35 | -16 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 23:20:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7upf2r/im_back_soo_intro/
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Hey all you lovely people!
I use to be super active on this sub but the past six-nine months I was just super drunk all the time so i didn't really get around to much.
i have gained some weight, not a bunch - but i feel horrid about myself.
i quit drinking and i am focusing on my body and working out/fasting/etc.
i consider my time away from this subreddit as a 'relapse' i suppose haha.
i have not updated my weight yet but i will when i get the dr measurements next week.
it is good to be back! i hope that i can get my body back!
thanks for reading! <3
[Rant/Rave] No going back
/u/fernsandfoxes [5ā6ā | CW:123 | BMI:19.93 | GW:110 | 18F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 23:12:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7updt3/no_going_back/
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[removed]
[Discussion] [discussion] No one knows how messed up I really am. Sometimes I feel very alone.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 1 23:10:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7updbh/discussion_no_one_knows_how_messed_up_i_really_am/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Zoloft interactions with EC stacker?
/u/AirmansGirl [5'5 | CW 123.4 | GW 110| 26F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 22:49:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7up9ou/zoloft_interactions_with_ec_stacker/
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I just recently started taking Zoloft everyday. Can I still take my EC stack? I only do it maybe once a week but I donāt know if there is some weird interaction I donāt know about. Also can I still take laxatives?
[Rant/Rave] My ED has me totally convinced I don't need my relationship anymore
/u/kvlt-chan [5'9" | 127 | 18.4 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 22:20:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7up4dd/my_ed_has_me_totally_convinced_i_dont_need_my/
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I adore my boyfriend, I really do. But my ED has once again (for the first time in this relationship) reared it's ugly head and I'm ready to break up with him. He's been trying to lose weight over the past month, and the incessant trips to the scale, food prepping, MFP tracking, food diaries, negative food talk... I can't do it anymore. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone else but I can't keep myself together with 360 degree triggers. No where is safe. Honestly there isn't a single part of our lives together that this doesn't affect. I don't know what to do. I feel so alone.
[Other] 100 days.
/u/proed-me [5'6 | 117 lbs| 18.9 | GW: 103]
Created: Thu Feb 1 21:39:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uowth/100_days/
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I can reach my GW with 100 days of high restriction. 100 days from now, I promise that I will be 101 lbs. And I will be happy. Cause I made it.
I'm not going to give up and binge. I've wanted this forever. Today was day 1. 1% of the way there.
I've tried quick weightloss for the longest time. But I can't lose 5 lbs in 2 weeks if I binge every other day.
No binges. None.
On May 10th 2018 I will be happy.
[Other] Peach mega thread archived
/u/lithelife [5'4''| CM: 34-25-37| GM: 32-22-34 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 20:28:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uoijo/peach_mega_thread_archived/
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I would have posted there but as itās archived it wouldnāt let me post (unless Iām being dumbā Iām new to redditing on mobile. Please delete this post if there are have been too many peach posts lately!).
Anyway if anyoneās still adding people on peach Iām @vandertrampp. Not yet figured the app out but hope to connect with some of you there!
[Discussion] DAE have a close friend who also has an ED?
/u/cybermua
Created: Thu Feb 1 19:47:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uo9vj/dae_have_a_close_friend_who_also_has_an_ed/
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Whatās your friendship dynamic like? Is it supportive, competitive, etc?
[Other] Saw this on FB in a joke/meme group but immediately thought of ED...
/u/decima205 [5'6" | SW: 150 | CW: 140 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 19:43:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uo92w/saw_this_on_fb_in_a_jokememe_group_but/
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https://imgur.com/a/ib7PT
[Discussion] work out binge
/u/fitisthegoal [F21|5'5|CW130 |GW115]
Created: Thu Feb 1 19:28:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uo5sr/work_out_binge/
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So before I even realized I had a ED I had a lot of symptoms of bulimia...such as purging and excusing it as something everyone does and binging just to purge. When I finally decided to lose some weight I began to restrict severely.
I'm now at a normal/thin weight and have started purging less and less by throwing up and instead have begun to work out.
Anyone notice this shift in themselves? I went to the gym twice today and the second time was to justify eating dinner.
I'm conflicted because I now have a lot of fitness goals and my ed brain is just saying I have to accomplish them all as fast as possible. Idk what this rant is but just wondering if anyone felt the same.
[Discussion] I miss having the energy to work out and hate that eating makes me sleepy! Anyone else with me!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 1 19:25:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uo50l/i_miss_having_the_energy_to_work_out_and_hate/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Having the hardest time conceptualizing my intake this past weekend DX
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Thu Feb 1 19:18:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uo3pm/having_the_hardest_time_conceptualizing_my_intake/
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Didnāt count calories or steps :(
Went to a festival. Walked a LOT, danced, slept very little. The grounds were HUGE! Upon asking folks about their steps, they said 25,000-50,000 daily. Iām gonna guess I walked about 15 miles a day, for 4 days? I also did a lot of other physical activity (climbing, yoga).
Eating: not a whole lot, but very calorie dense foods (I brought safe foods like PB, fruit, pita bread, granola, oatmeal etc).
Drank more than normal, but not a ton. One day I had a pretty gross fried meal from commissary (just needed something hot).
I canāt decide in my brain if I burnt more than I ate, or ate more than I burnt.
I think I burnt more, but damn I feel like I ate a lot of food š¤·š½āāļø it scares me.
Anyway. Not really asking for any sort of response just venting.
[Help] Is this ED logic?: Eating extremely healthy but under your calories is better than eating a healthy amount of moderately healthy/junk food.
/u/2fckk
Created: Thu Feb 1 19:17:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uo3e0/is_this_ed_logic_eating_extremely_healthy_but/
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I'm trying to recover. I used to just restrict. Now it's like my ED has manifested into an obsessive need to only consume healthy foods. I guess I feel like I'm eating a lot but technically under eating because I'm still losing.
But I justified this to myself by saying that since I'm eating extremely healthy, I'm healthy. And if I try to increase calories, I'll have to introduce some not so healthy foods. IdkkKkk
If you're under eating, it's just all around unhealthy right???? LIKE WHAT IS ACTUAL LOGIC
[Help] Is it OK to eat the same thing every day? Thereās only 1 or 2 things i can eat without horrible guilt
/u/richnskinny [5ā8 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 18:57:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7unz74/is_it_ok_to_eat_the_same_thing_every_day_theres/
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Itās Fresh Rolls/ Spring rolls right now.
Iām trying to stop purging
[Other] Birthday Feelings
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 1 18:54:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7unyff/birthday_feelings/
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[deleted]
How many steps do you average a day?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 1 18:17:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7unqi7/how_many_steps_do_you_average_a_day/
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[deleted]
[Other] Fitbit friends
/u/filthy_pink_angora
Created: Thu Feb 1 18:15:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7unpy5/fitbit_friends/
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Hey, lurker here. 32, bulimic and trying to get back to my better exercising regime. 5'2 and have at least 50lb to lose.
Gym check in buddies welcome too! Fitbit email I.prefer.real.letters@gmail.com
I haven't been wearing it consistently so I hope this helps
[Discussion] Pregnant chick here-- I'd lost my password and couldn't log in to thank y'all after my post a few months ago. Here it is with an update
/u/thisthingagain [5'3 | currently pregnant af | F ]
Created: Thu Feb 1 17:56:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7unlxh/pregnant_chick_here_id_lost_my_password_and/
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I just wanted to thank you all for being the same wonderful sub I've always loved.
I'm still pregnant and am *quiteee* the rolie polie olie, but I'm cool with it. I'm 30 weeks along, and am pretty consistently eating the number of calories I should be to facilitate a healthy baby-- sometimes more, sometimes less. I'm starting to get used to the bump and honestly, I feel quite pretty a lot of the time. I'm up 15 lbs and should gain another 10 before she arrives-- putting me right on track, which I'm proud of.
I haven't really felt like my body was *mine* in as long as I can remember, but now it feels like it at least has a purpose. There's a reason for me to eat well. There's a reason to pile on the protein and fresh foods. There's a reason not to just live on coffee and diet cream soda. There's a reason not to binge on McDonald's fries (but God knows I've wanted to! The cravings are UNREAL!).
Anyway. Just wanted to say hey, thank you guys for your support, and let you know that things are rocking along well here.
I'm looking forward to being more active in April, after my daughter's born.
Cheers!
woot woot time to get back on track
/u/audreybelle_ [5ā3 | 14F | cw: fat | gw: 118lbs | hw: 159.8lbs]
Created: Thu Feb 1 17:31:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ungdb/woot_woot_time_to_get_back_on_track/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Catching myself judging other people/their eating habits
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Thu Feb 1 17:11:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7unbh5/catching_myself_judging_other_peopletheir_eating/
---
Okay, I hope this doesn't make me sound like a horrible person because that's not my intention. I realize most of the thoughts I have are complete projections about my own self-disgust but do you ever catch yourself judging people harshly like how you judge yourself?
Today I was in class and I normally sit toward the back. It's a very crowded classroom so a lot of seats in the front get taken. I'm convinced I'm huge so nobody would want to sit next to me and be irritated by my big fat body rubbing against theirs/irritating them. But I couldn't help but notice today a girl who was much larger than me go right ahead and sit in the front, she didn't even care if anyone sat next to her. I kept looking around wondering if anybody was going to stare at her too for being big but nobody even cared. I'm always convinced people are judging me/don't want to sit by me since I'm heavier set. I also saw another girl who was around the same size as me get herself an ice-cream on break and eat it right in class like there was nothing wrong with it. I kept thinking, 'I'd never be able to do that! Everyone would be judging me so hard' but nobody even cared. It's obvious I'm the one who has the problem, not everyone else. I do this on the train too. I won't sit next to people and will force myself to stand for 45 mins to "burn more calories" but also because I'm scared I'm so big I'd get in a fight with someone. I know this is completely crazy because I'm not that big but I feel like it's a form of punishing myself.
[Help] How do you all deal when/if you feel like a worthless failure?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 138 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 16:49:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7un6dv/how_do_you_all_deal_whenif_you_feel_like_a/
---
Lately I've been feeling like that all the time. I'm 26 and I live with my parents and 2 brothers in the southern USA, and I've lost hope that I'll ever get to where I want in life because I'm debilitatingly depressed and possibly on the autism spectrum. And I'm also a girl with a penis, so a sugar daddy or something isn't very realistic. My parents have been borderline emotionally abusive to me for the past 5 years, so I hate living with them. And also our house is a chaotic mess.
But like, it's not like I hate this environment so much that I want to die. I want to die because I feel like I am a failure whose life has no worth because I'm not anywhere close to where I want to be. Plus I feel like I'll never get there. I feel like a loser. And please don't try to reassure me that it might get better. I can't just run on hope anymore. I want to accept that it's ok to be where I am in life. But it's so hard, and I don't know how.
For those of you who feel similarly, how do you cope?
(Also, I know this isn't directly about EDs, but you all are so supportive.)
[Help] How did you stop/limit binges?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 1 16:34:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7un2tz/how_did_you_stoplimit_binges/
---
[deleted]
[Help] diet the same.. scale going up. Help!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 1 16:30:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7un1wb/diet_the_same_scale_going_up_help/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7un1wb/diet_the_same_scale_going_up_help/
[Help] Advice for how to lose weight when you have to bike 20 miles a day?
/u/meowmeow6666 [5'5| CW 145 | BMI 24.4 | -4.8 | GW 107 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 16:30:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7un1v5/advice_for_how_to_lose_weight_when_you_have_to/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] In A Rut
/u/givemebonyknees
Created: Thu Feb 1 15:51:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ums9y/in_a_rut/
---
The past couple weeks Iāve been killing it with restricting. Iāve been eating no more than 600 cals a day and Iāve lost 6 pounds way quicker than I usually lose which was so exciting! I was so motivated to keep going, and thatās where the boyfriend comes in.
Iām in a long distance relationship and only get to see him one weekend a month (if weāre lucky), and this past weekend was our time. He eats like a vacuum thatās gone rouge (and of course he never gains even a pound, so annoying). I decided that I would let myself have a couple days where I didnāt track and just let myself focus on enjoying my time with him, it couldnāt affect my weight loss that much, right?
I was totally wrong. I didnāt even eat THAT much, friday was way below maintenance and saturday and sunday were right about maintenance. Monday I resumed eating less than 600 calories, and Tuesday mornings are when I weigh myself. I didnāt gain any weight since the previous week which is definitely a positive, but I didnāt lose anything. I realize this isnāt the end of the world but I am so disappointed in myself and I feel like itās set everything back. Without seeing results I just want to binge, but I know it will only make things worse. I just need to power through and by next Tuesday there HAS to be a difference.
Any words of encouragement?
[Discussion] EC stack noob needs help!
/u/notathrowaway836
Created: Thu Feb 1 15:49:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7umrua/ec_stack_noob_needs_help/
---
[removed]
[Other] Iām 19 hours into a fast.. donāt know how long I want to last yet, but Iām feeling SO GOOD! Please celebrate with me w/a cup of tea šµ
/u/IrritatedIntrovert
Created: Thu Feb 1 15:31:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7umnd1/im_19_hours_into_a_fast_dont_know_how_long_i_want/
---
[removed]
[Help] No will power/eating when bored
/u/hoot2156
Created: Thu Feb 1 15:30:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7umn1o/no_will_powereating_when_bored/
---
I'm a longtime lurker, sorry if this post is repetitive or not allowed or something!
I'm about to turn 18, I've had an eating disorder/disordered eating since I was 11 or 12, I've been restricting for a long long time now. The last 3 ish months I've really "fallen off" from restricting and I'm having a ton of problems getting back. This sounds stupid like I'm just trying to diet, but I really need help. I still have all the negative thoughts about food, I feel fat and disgusting when I eat, I hate my body, food gives me hella anxiety, but the last few months I really struggle with having self control and saying no to myself when I'm hungry. I've gained weight. I've gone from 89/90 lbs to like 95-97 lbs, I'm only 5'3 so every pound definitely counts and is visible.
Does anyone else experience this, or have any ways to help get back into it? I'm tired of eating like "a normal person" and something has just been stopping me from just saying no to food. If anyone could help, I'd really appreciate it.
[Rant/Rave] Australians: Has anyone else noticed Woolies might be getting new Halo Top flavours??!
/u/gotanaoohnana
Created: Thu Feb 1 15:29:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ummvq/australians_has_anyone_else_noticed_woolies_might/
---
They didn't have any actual ice cream, but I noticed price stickers for candy bar and cookie dough next to other (in stock) flavours :D **surely** the only reason they would be there is because they're going to bring in some new stock soon?
Non-Australians: This is a big deal because they've only ever had mint chip, birthday cake, and chocolate until now.
[Rant/Rave] it's working!!! i was worried about my kid's weight.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 1 14:47:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7umbx3/its_working_i_was_worried_about_my_kids_weight/
---
[deleted]
Walden Farms sells zero calorie, zero carb products!
/u/littlest-bear
Created: Thu Feb 1 14:39:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7um9og/walden_farms_sells_zero_calorie_zero_carb_products/
---
I bought two bottles of salad dressing, but they have things like caramel and chocolate syrup, marshmallow fluff, jam, coffee creamer, etc. Saw it on a shelf at Sobeyās (Canada)!
Iāll have a try to see if it tastes alright and report back.
[Help] Anyone else turn into a complete space cadet while fasting?
/u/UnderseaK [5'7 | cw: 150lbs | bmi:23.4 | gw: 110lbs]
Created: Thu Feb 1 13:55:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ulxnw/anyone_else_turn_into_a_complete_space_cadet/
---
Does anyone else ever go into states sometimes where you just feel completely detached, like you're in a dream? Whenever I have a lot of anxiety (about food or anything else) I start feeling dizzy, spacy, slow, and foggy. Everything slows down and feels unreal, I can't focus at all, and I can't seem to snap myself out of it.
Besides anxiety, I notice that it happens more if I've been fasting. Does this happen to anyone else? Is it a blood sugar thing? I have an anxiety disorder in addition to my ED, so idk if it's related to that or my ED or if I'm just an unexplainable disaster.
I'm such an ass
/u/uselessalliteration
Created: Thu Feb 1 13:41:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ultu9/im_such_an_ass/
---
[removed]
[Help] ED has gotten bad; i need help! But I want to keep restricting...
/u/richnskinny [5ā8 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 13:32:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ulreu/ed_has_gotten_bad_i_need_help_but_i_want_to_keep/
---
So Iāve been doing OMAD; it works for me. But now i started purging even that. if itās not something clean enough Or if I ate ātoo muchā.
I know that canāt be good for my health; The restricting, plus purging every other day.... For a couple weeks now
So someone to talk to help me keep my food down would be great . Yeah I could seek professional help but Iām not willing to eat many calories until i reach my GW
[Rant/Rave] HALO TOP IS COMING TO CANADA!
/u/calmlyranting [5'5 | Fluctuating | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 13:29:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ulqrb/halo_top_is_coming_to_canada/
---
https://halotop.ca/
[Other] Holy shit my fellow Canadians, it's finally happening!
/u/china_doll [5'5.5 | CW150.6 | SW179.2 | 24.87 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 13:17:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ulnis/holy_shit_my_fellow_canadians_its_finally/
---
http://www.halotop.ca/where-to-buy
[Rant/Rave] In denial
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5ā4ā | cw 118 | gw 110 | bmi 20.7]
Created: Thu Feb 1 12:57:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ulhrw/in_denial/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Plateauing is the homie. For now.
/u/SinfulCinnamon
Created: Thu Feb 1 12:48:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ulffc/plateauing_is_the_homie_for_now/
---
Earlier this week I just could not stop myself from eating EVERYTHING. I wasn't even hungry, just bored or something. I had a very bad ~3000k day on Monday and ~1500k Sunday and Tuesday. I was clearly disgusted with myself so I only had a cup of soup yesterday and decided to start a fast. I'm about 24 hours in but am going for longer since there's nothing I can think of wanting to eat since I literally ate everything I could possibly want already š
luckily my weight is exactly the same as last Thursday down to the 1/10th of a pound. But then again it wasnt going down even with a huge deficit for weeks so idk wtf my body is doing these days. Plateauing FTW I guess?
[Other] Counting those ounces
/u/ReversedHierophant
Created: Thu Feb 1 12:34:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ulbl6/counting_those_ounces/
---
I was so happy this morning to be down another 6 ounces from yesterday.
I'm an obsessive weigher. I like to k ow what I weigh at all times. Lately the trend has been to put on a pound or three during the day through food, or stall completely for a few days because I'm just making up what's lost from the weight of what I've eaten.
Today I stuck my guns and only "put on" 3 ounces.
That feels huge to me because I feel like tomorrow I might get down into the next pound.
I have well over a hundred to loose so I'm clawing at every tiny bit I can.
Yesterday I felt the binge creeping in. There was a chocolate bar on the side and OH I wanted to eat it so badly. But I didn't. I had a carb free protein bar instead.
I refuse to let this cycle continue.
One weird thing I have learned is exactly how many pounds is too many for my body. 272
My back hurts, it's hard to walk. I've lost 8lbs and I'm fine. No pain no nothing. That interesting to me.
[Discussion] What specific weight number are you obsessed with?
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 12:18:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ul741/what_specific_weight_number_are_you_obsessed_with/
---
[Discussion] Does anyone else normally weigh a little more before their period...
/u/skinnyinscrubs [5ā5.5ā | CW: 115 | BMI: 18.8 | GW1: 112 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 11:56:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ul0zj/does_anyone_else_normally_weigh_a_little_more/
---
... and then get irrationally relieved when you finally get it because you've a chance of dropping a pound or so? Or is it just me that's this weird lol
[Help] Vitamin drink fast?
/u/pathetiqe
Created: Thu Feb 1 11:40:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ukwkh/vitamin_drink_fast/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Me during a fasting phase where Iām high off feeling thin vs me during a bingeing phase where I canāt get the fuck out of bed
/u/ignorado [š: ignorado]
Created: Thu Feb 1 11:29:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uktil/me_during_a_fasting_phase_where_im_high_off/
---
https://i.redd.it/8mybptv2and01.jpg
[Discussion] How often do you restrict?
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 132.5 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.7 | F21]
Created: Thu Feb 1 10:52:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ukjen/how_often_do_you_restrict/
---
So I've been restricting for the last few weeks, but suddenly felt like eating "normally" the past couple days (1300-1400 calories). The sudden shift feels weird. Does this happen to anyone?
[Goal] Little things
/u/BronArianwyn
Created: Thu Feb 1 10:35:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ukem1/little_things/
---
So none of my pants are tight now.
None of them fit. They aren't falling off but they do kind of float around me now and they look just AWFUL at work even if I wear leggings under them but
I'm kind of fluffing up with pride. and Tightenin' mah belt <3 progress.
[Help] Eating while sick?
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Thu Feb 1 10:22:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ukb8x/eating_while_sick/
---
Hey yāall! So Iām currently battling a very bad cold, Iāve had it for a week now. It got me thinking, since Iām sick should I be eating more to get better faster?
As much as I hate eating, I hate being sick even more. Any advice is welcomed!
[Discussion] Anyone else get a weight loss plateau?
/u/Arionai
Created: Thu Feb 1 10:16:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uk9iy/anyone_else_get_a_weight_loss_plateau/
---
And how long did it take you to break out of it? I lost like 6kg in a few weeks and now the scale isn't fucking budging even though I am DEFINITELY eating under 300 calories a day, with the exception of 1k one day a week as a cheat day, as I thought this would help my metabolism.
Granted, my implant is causing my period to be constant, so I can't tell if that's fucking with it.
How did you guys break out of it? How long did it take?
[Rant/Rave] Fuck Fuck Fuck!
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 103 | 16.6 | GW: 98| 35/F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 09:08:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ujr9k/fuck_fuck_fuck/
---
Had my doctor appointment this morning. My blood work came back perfect! HOWEVER, my doctor referred me to a therapist and scheduled a 2 month follow up in which I need to weigh 115 at the very least... fuck! If I just stop going and say āFuck itā, sheāll stop prescribing my adhd and anti anxiety meds... should I try and switch primary care doctors? I canāt gain 12 pounds. Not in 2 months. I canāt throw away what Iāve accomplished so far. I knew this shit would happen.... Iām forced to be a fat fucking cow and why?? My labs were perfect, Iām still menstruating.... sheās over reacting a bit isnāt she?
[Discussion] Self Fulfilling Prophecy - Maria Mena (One song on my ED playlist)
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Thu Feb 1 08:58:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ujoe3/self_fulfilling_prophecy_maria_mena_one_song_on/
---
https://youtu.be/7jDssEB57L0
[Rant/Rave] Thanks Random Pharmacist!
/u/falafelwafflerofl
Created: Thu Feb 1 08:23:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ujfpr/thanks_random_pharmacist/
---
I went to pick up a 24 ct of Bronkaid and the pharmacist alerted me that he only had 60 ct and asked if that was okay. Then he proceeded to tell me he had a random coupon for $ off. He dug it out of the trash and said he didn't think anyone would be buying that today. He told me it was fate and I should go play the lottery now. š¤£ I was feeling pretty down, but that just made my day. Thanks cool pharmacist guy!
[Other] TFW you donāt know if your throat is sore from purging or if youāre getting sick
/u/throwaway002300 [25F | 5ā3 | CW 102 | BMI 18 | GW ???]
Created: Thu Feb 1 08:16:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uje8e/tfw_you_dont_know_if_your_throat_is_sore_from/
---
[removed]
[Help] Stressing out a bit... can someone help estimate the calories of a vegan chorizo pizza?
/u/memmh [158cm | 107.8 | 22F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 07:25:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uj223/stressing_out_a_bit_can_someone_help_estimate_the/
---
I've been promising by boyfriend for a while that when I get paid we'll get vegan pizza. Freaking out a bit over it as a really don't want to purge. The pizza is square and a 1/4m, here's the description: https://i.imgur.com/7cQ0Pec.png. I'm going to fast on the day we eat it and try at restrain myself to only eating half but I just want to know. Oh and if it helps, I know the cheese this place uses is violife.
[Help] How can I prevent saggy skin/how likely is saggy skin?
/u/vitalogy95 [5'5" | CW: 155 | BMI: 25.79 | GW: 115 | HW: 176]
Created: Thu Feb 1 07:22:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uj1d5/how_can_i_prevent_saggy_skinhow_likely_is_saggy/
---
Iām currently at 153 and started at 175, with a height of 5ā5ā. The weight Iāve mostly been in my life is around 160 with highs and lows of course. Ive recently turned 23, and since I am getting āolderā, do I need to worry about saggy skin (especially saggy neck skin)? Or is this more so a concern when going from a much higher to much lower weight?
[Help] What do I have to do for my therapist to take me seriously? I am in psychological hell
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 128.6 | BMI: 25.1 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 07:04:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uix43/what_do_i_have_to_do_for_my_therapist_to_take_me/
---
My 'safe' caloric amounts keep getting smaller and smaller. From October to the end of November, I was doing 1200 a day and losing steadily with some cheat days. Then it was 1000. Now I'm averaging between 500-900 on the average day.
I ate like 980 last night because I was just trying to be normal for my boyfriend and it actually felt like a binge. Anything over 1000 feels like I have failed and feels like a binge even though my TDEE is 1500 and my family and boyfriend want me to stop at 120 so I really should be trying to work myself back up to maintenance calories soon but I just can't see myself eating 1500 calories a day. It just feels like too much food. I don't know how to acclimate to eating more. And I don't want to be 120. I want to be tiny. It just keeps getting worse. I have a 550 calorie day planned today to make up for the 980 I had yesterday, like how fucked up is that that I feel like I need to 'make up' for eating less than 1000 calories? What is wrong with me?
I'm restricting almost every day at this point and almost anything that makes me feel more than Not Starving feels like a binge and then I feel guilty and horrible about myself. If the scale stays the same from day to day I hate myself and force myself to eat under 600 and skip meals. It just keeps getting worse.
I know that I don't have anorexia because my BMI is 25, but it's like, what the fuck am I then? EDNOS? My therapist doesn't take me seriously because I'm a healthy weight and I don't know what to do, I spent an hour this morning deciding which of my lunches to eat today versus tomorrow. Like, that doesn't even matter. I'll still be eating the same amount over 2 days whether I eat my veggies and turkey today or my clif bar today or vice versa. I feel like shit all the time and I'm cold even though I weigh 128 pounds. Do I have to be underweight for someone to realize what a psychological fucking disaster this is? Should I see a different therapist? What the fuck do I do?
[Discussion] How do you bounce back from Rock Bottom binges?
/u/booberryapocalypse
Created: Thu Feb 1 06:26:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uipid/how_do_you_bounce_back_from_rock_bottom_binges/
---
You know what I mean. The ones where you canāt even count the calories, where you stop because the actual physical effects of the sugary crap youāre eating are making you nauseous. Literally thousands of calories. Iām 5ā6 and PROBABLY NOT 141 ANYMORE, NOWHERE CLOSE.
I feel like shit, I want to kill myself (not literally, more as a reflex thought that calms me down, like letting a bit of steam out of the bubbling pot). Itās a compulsive thought the same way binging is. Thereās nothing I can do about my fat swollen belly. It feels like a literal 13lb gain. I bet I would see 154 if I stepped on the scale. Vomiting isnāt an option for me, my face is puffy and circular anyways, and somehow my chin and jawline is a better thin motivator for me than my thighs or stomach. All I want is a slick tight profile.
Please help, Iām watching The Office and waiting for my roommates to get out of the bathroom so I can finally poop, but my soul (if you believe in that) feels twisted and disgusting and drenched with shame.
[Discussion] February 1st, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 05:47:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uii1v/february_1st_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
What is your resolution for tomorrow?
Iām going to get more piercings after work, so my resolution is to actually go to the gym at some point, since Iāve been going right after work. I have to do my PT exercises, and one of them uses the leg press machine, so hopefully that will motivate me? At least I donāt have any plans that night, because Iām a loser. Maybe Iāll go in the morning? Iām not going anywhere until 9, Iāve got a doctors appointment so Iām not going into work until after. My bipolar meds arenāt working š¢
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! February 01, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 1 05:11:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uibkf/daily_food_diary_february_01_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 01, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support February 01, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 1 05:11:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uibh3/weekly_emotional_support_february_01_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] I donāt trust my scale
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Thu Feb 1 05:00:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ui9f6/i_dont_trust_my_scale/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Breakfast and hunger nausea?
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [š5'5|105|17.68|Maintaining?š]
Created: Thu Feb 1 04:51:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ui81f/breakfast_and_hunger_nausea/
---
So Iām back at college for the spring semester and Iām on campus 8:00 - 5:00. I usually have coffee in the morning and skip breakfast, leaving my wallet at home so I canāt buy anything before I come home for dinner.
I woke up really early today and my stomach is spitting fire at me. I KNOW that my stomach is grumbling because I havenāt eaten but idk, I keep thinking āIām nauseousā rather than āIām hungry.ā I know it will go away soon but usually I donāt have this problem. Why am I so hungry today :/ do you guys eat breakfast? Breakfast usually makes me feel like a failure since I canāt guarantee I can successfully restrict in the evenings .
[Rant/Rave] DRUNK HUNGOVER RANT
/u/spiNACHOcolate [Height:1m70 | CW:54kg | HW:69kg | GW:50kg | F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 04:42:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ui6j4/drunk_hungover_rant/
---
I have relapsed pretty bad and currently eat quite a large number of calories for an anorexic (around 800 per day).
Last night I went out and had a couple of gins, not many, and I am still drunk because OH LOOK WHEN YOU DON'T EAT YOU GET DRUNK QUICKLY.
I am torn. I simultaneously want to fall fully back into MORE ED behaviours and restrict down to 400 cal per day so I can be beautiful, but I also want to maintain my incredibly long, beautiful, shiny, blonde hair, and not lose my nails again.
I cannot stand to eat. I am a fat piece of crap who needs to starve and study and be better to be liked. I am unloved as a fat person.
RANT RANT RANT DRUNK RIGHT NOW AND GOING TO A LECTURE. BYE.
P.S. I will hungoverly vent to one of my confidants this evening. Pls comment 'pray 4 cd' to remind me ty xoxoxo
[Help] Nausea with no safe foods.
/u/UnskinnyVegan [171cm | Too high | Too high | Ick | ]
Created: Thu Feb 1 03:50:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uhy9r/nausea_with_no_safe_foods/
---
I've been struggling with anxiety-related nausea for the past few days and I cannot keep down any of my safe foods; soup, salads, tomato sauce, almond milk, etc. I can keep down tiny amounts of liquid but if I push it... I'm back hurling. :/
I just throw everything up and the doctor gave me the idea to eat something dry and flavourless... like Jatz crackers. Now all I can think about is Jatz crackers and I don't want to eat those.
I just threw up all my salad and all my cooked mushrooms... so well... any suggestions for food to help with nausea?
[Help] Idk if this is a stupid question...
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Thu Feb 1 03:24:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uhufv/idk_if_this_is_a_stupid_question/
---
If i weigh a certain weight and between that weight and this morning weighing myself i havenāt eaten enough to gain (ate below my TDEE) can i put the weight gain down to water weight?
I was 96lbs yesterday morning and this morning iām 97.8. I net under 600calories yesterday and iād really like some reassurance that when my weight always fluctuates like this it isnāt a set back but just water weight or another factor?šš
[Help] ED has gotten bad. Need an accountability buddy Or a professional if theyāll let me keep restricting..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 1 03:14:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uhstt/ed_has_gotten_bad_need_an_accountability_buddy_or/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uhstt/ed_has_gotten_bad_need_an_accountability_buddy_or/
[Tip] Breyers coupon in Tesco magazine
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 02:34:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uhmt1/breyers_coupon_in_tesco_magazine/
---
The magazine is free and by the checkout in most stores. It's for Ā£1.25 off any flavour. I just have to find somewhere that stocks it now!
[Help] My body is going against me! Pls help
/u/__charlotte_
Created: Thu Feb 1 02:24:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uhlhc/my_body_is_going_against_me_pls_help/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Breakfast = Fucking Stress
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Thu Feb 1 02:22:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uhl1w/breakfast_fucking_stress/
---
This morning I was supposed to have a bacon and sausage sandwich with eggy bread in place of the bread, made by my (wonderful) girlfriend. Have I? No because apparently 2 hours isn't enough time to make the breakfast you've been saying you will for the past five days. It takes half an hour.
I'm so stressed over this guys, I can't plan my meals for 'recovery' around this phantom breakfast so I guess I just won't eat because I don't fucking know when we're having it :(
[Rant/Rave] Sobbing in bed at 9am
/u/elizasbreath [162cm| CW 45.5kg | GW: 40kg | -17kg I 18F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 02:09:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uhj7k/sobbing_in_bed_at_9am/
---
I made a post in r/makeupaddiction a day ago that was really positively received.
Up until one commenter noticed I'd posted here before.
I ended up getting downvoted to hell only after that comment was posted, told I was encouraging suicide and eating disorders, and to change my lifestyle.
Yeah, because me venting about my anxieties concerning food, trying to support others experiencing similar struggles and overall us literally having rules against ana-buddies and asking for tips is us OBVIOUSLY ENCOURAGING EATING DISORDERS.
Lmao who thought I'd actually been considering recovery after reaching 100?? Not me any fucking more :) @85lb: hmu fam
[Discussion] Iāve always hated food, but lately Iāve been volatile towards it
/u/missmachine
Created: Thu Feb 1 00:32:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uh4sp/ive_always_hated_food_but_lately_ive_been/
---
It used to just gross me out. Now I feel threatened by it and I react.
I feel like this is bizarre... can anyone relate?
[Help] Feeling low... don't really know anymore
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 123lbs | GW 100lbs | 21F]
Created: Thu Feb 1 00:30:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uh4le/feeling_low_dont_really_know_anymore/
---
I just feel bad. It's not sadness, or anger, not even depression (that I'm used to)... I just don't really feel present. Maybe it's the restriction. Everything just feels not quite right, dull, unexciting. And I can't really care about any of it. Ok so maybe this is depression.
What do you guys do when your enjoyment of life just starts to fade? Any thoughts on how to stop feeling like this?
[Rant/Rave] Just gotta get some dumb teen angst out. Not really ED related but perfectionism related.
/u/proed-me [5'6 | 117 lbs| 18.9 | GW: 103]
Created: Wed Jan 31 23:41:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ugweb/just_gotta_get_some_dumb_teen_angst_out_not/
---
Whew. I just gotta get this shit out.
It's currently 12:26 AM. I'm sitting at my computer working on homework and trying not to cry. This is where I've been sitting for the past 7 hours. Right now, I have all 90+ grades in everything except AP Comp Sci. THAT FUCKING CLASS.
The teacher is a nice guy, but he CANNOT TEACH. I currently have a 7 in that class. A fucking 7. He's entered in 3 grades, one test that I failed, and 2 labs that I haven't turned in yet because I don't understand them. The grading period ends tomorrow. In his class, it's all or nothing. You either do a lab perfectly and get a 5/5, or you mess one thing up and get a 0/5. Y'all, I'm trying so, so hard. But I'm not good enough for this shit.
I'm not cut out for this. I'm currently at one of the top math/science public high schools in the US. I generally make good grades, but I'm fucking miserable here. I cry almost every night because of how I barely ever see my friends outside of school, and how I haven't eaten dinner with my family for 2 weeks because I'm doing homework. I'm 14 years old and I don't have a fucking life because of this school. People tell me that being an adult and working is harder, but at least my parents get to put away their work and come home at 6 PM every night. I'd kill for that. I spend 18 hours a day either at school, getting ready for school, or doing my homework. Anyways if being an adult is harder than this shit I might as well just kill myself right now. We had 2 students kill themselves in 2 weeks last fall. Our school only has 800 people. I'm leaving this school in June, but y'all, that's 4 months from now. Idk how I'm going to make it through the rest of the year.
Sometimes I think it's because I'm just a dumbass. But I do well on standardized tests, I'm in the highest level of math at my school. What makes me different from the other kids here? The kids who scored 200 points less than me on the SAT but still balance their classes, extracurricular, and sports and seem happy while doing it? What makes my best friend, who has her own mental shit going on, be able to maintain a 4.2 GPA while being class president? Why do I not have my shit together but everybody else does? Why will the hard work I put into Calc, English, and Bio count for nothing when it averages with my AP Comp Sci grade?
I fucking wanted to be a software engineer before this class, now I laugh at the thought. I used to be learning Russian and painting portraits, now I haven't picked up my pastels or my textbook in weeks. This godawful hellhole has turned me into a little robot only capable of doing schoolwork, and I'm even a fuckup at that.
For the longest time, my weight and grades are the 2 things that affect how I view myself, right now I'm at my HW and I have the lowest GPA I've ever had. I am fucking worthless.
Sorry if this seems overdramatic, I've just literally never felt this fucking miserable in my life and knowing that my life is gonna be this way for 4 more months is killing me on the inside.
[Discussion] What do you listen to when you're feeling down?
/u/RickyWicky
Created: Wed Jan 31 23:37:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ugvnu/what_do_you_listen_to_when_youre_feeling_down/
---
For me it's Lana Del Rey. Can't really say why, I can't always relate to her lyrical content as a guy, but I just really love her style, her voice etc. Makes me happy when I'm feeling blue, which seems to be happening more now with restriction and junk.
[Rant/Rave] Desperately wishing that there was a diet pull out there that actually worked...
/u/to-whatever-end
Created: Wed Jan 31 23:10:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ugqwb/desperately_wishing_that_there_was_a_diet_pull/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Someone noticed how I was trying to restrict today.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 31 22:35:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ugkg2/someone_noticed_how_i_was_trying_to_restrict_today/
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[deleted]
[Help] After losing 15 pounds, which wasn't easy, I'm gaining it back and panicking
/u/RepresentativeBill
Created: Wed Jan 31 22:13:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ugg8a/after_losing_15_pounds_which_wasnt_easy_im/
---
This is going to sound a little weird. After losing this weight and feeling really good about it I am unexpectedly pregnant. I am not keeping it. I cannot get an appointment for termination until late February.
There are a lot of personal issues I'm having with it obviously- it's been a really hard decision. I'm not in a place in my life to take care of a child. But that is beside the point. I hate to say the fact that I am gaining a bit of weight back is making me feel really really mentally unwell. I know this shouldn't be my main concern and it isn't, but I feel like I'm losing control of my body again.
I'm trying to exercise and eat the same as I was before but I am still feeling bloated and sick. I hate this. I know this is controversial and I'm not really sure what I'm looking for but any advice or support would be welcome :(
[Discussion] Does anybody else get hypercompetitive whenever you see somebody else dieting?
/u/proed-me [5'6 | 117 lbs| 18.9 | GW: 103]
Created: Wed Jan 31 21:25:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ug6p5/does_anybody_else_get_hypercompetitive_whenever/
---
I know it's my ED speaking and I feel bad about it. But there's this girl who's sort of in my friend group but kinda hates me and hoenstly I have no idea why but whatever that's not important.
Anyways she's in wrestling and has to lose 5 lbs before her tournament thing in 2 weeks (she's about 5'2 and 135 lbs rn) and so all she's had at lunch is like a protein shake and an apple. But anyways whenever I see her eating it's like, no, I can't eat. I have to eat less than her. Most of my friends are kinda "healthy skinny" (BMI between like 19 and 21 or so) and don't diet and so whenever I see her I guess I just feel sorta threatened, like dude I've been a pro at this shit since I was 11 okay back off this is my turf.
Anyways I feel really bad about it but it is what it is I guess. God I feel like the ED makes me into a total bitch.
[Rant/Rave] I'm back, even though I said I wouldn't be.
/u/proed-me [5'6 | 117 lbs| 18.9 | GW: 103]
Created: Wed Jan 31 21:14:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ug4hu/im_back_even_though_i_said_i_wouldnt_be/
---
I've spent 2 weeks at 1400-1500 calories a day. FUCK THIS. I feel like a fucking WHALE. FUCK "healthy skinny". FUCK "high restriction".
Bring on the bonespo and the fasting. I hate feeling bloated. I hate feeling fat. In the past 2 weeks I've only lost 2.4 lbs. I'm GOING to fucking accomplish this guys. I'm a failure at everything already, I'm not gonna fail at being skinny too. Everyone on Reddit says that "weightloss is easy". Hopefully by April I'll be at my GW and can put this all behind me. Forget that I was ever anorexic. I'll switch to my new school and everybody will know me as the girl who's always been skinny. Nobody will know how disgusting I used to be.
[Rant/Rave] Forever binging on shitty ED food staples...
/u/renewtheplaintiff [5'2 | cw: ~100 | gw: 90 | F23]
Created: Wed Jan 31 19:32:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ufhza/forever_binging_on_shitty_ed_food_staples/
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I have this thing where I'll load up on ED-safe foods, like rice cakes, popcorn, shirataki noodles, low cal EVERYTHIIIING... and then binge on those exact foods! So all in all, eating an entire pack of bland rice cakes is no better than just indulging in that tasty 300cal donut. I could've had that goddamn donut instead!!!
DAE do this? I think I'm gonna stop wasting money on tasteless ED foods, and just treat myself once in a while.
[Rant/Rave] Crying over not eating dessert rant
/u/tikitiki_maji
Created: Wed Jan 31 19:27:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ufh0u/crying_over_not_eating_dessert_rant/
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Usually just lurk, but the feelings are so disguising on this one I have to vent.
These last two days have been eating hell. It spiraled out of control because I got some big (good) news at work, but news of this nature always sets off a binge and purge. I don't know why and it's screwed up that any time something big and exciting happens in my life I resort to this behavior. And the purging is almost exclusively during times like this.
Then today I had already eaten too much, but decided I wanted a homemade peanut butter bar when I got home. God knows I didn't need it and it probably would have set off yet another binge, but I was so exited to end what was a pretty bad day with a peanut butter bar i made. Get home and discover my boyfriend had taken every last peanut butter bar into work with him. There were three containers, two for him and then a container of reject small pieces for me. All of them gone.
I told him I was looking forward to one when I got home and he said he had assumed I wanted them out of the house. I feel like such a fat fuck for being close to tears over not getting to eat a fucking dessert. But they were mine. I told him the small ones were mine. Since I had told him my dessert "plan" was ruin, I substituted rice cakes and sf jelly. It was like a pathetic "fuck you" to him, and to was a giant waste of the calories I already didn't need. And he was probably trying to help me. He probably thought I totally didn't need these pb bars at the size I am and he would be right.
Tldr: I'm a fat fuck who cries when someone takes her dessert away.
[Help] Panic attack after a two day ācelebration bingeā-cheat day.....following an unintentional OD of sleeping pills... I honestly canāt take life anymore šI do not want to exist.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Wed Jan 31 19:19:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uff71/panic_attack_after_a_two_day_celebration/
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Iāve been trying to calm myself all day but itās there. I get massive panic attacks that can last all day and put me to sleep for another. I felt it creeping up on me and have tried to get it to pass but Iāve fell in. This is not anxiety itās a full blown panic attack, heart racing, death like anxiety, I canāt breathe well and just want to sleep forever. Iām literally wrapped under 3 blankets digging my body into my couch in tears. Iām sorry I donāt know who else to tell, maybe Iāll call a help line or text thing. I never have but Iām losing it.
I was restricting really well but had a cheat day to celebrate the end of the semester which now turned into two. Way to much food and I hate myself. I feel so fat lately and want to die.
Someone posted on here about Eugenia Cooney last week. Iāve seen her videos before but have been obsessed. Why can I not get that thin?
Over the weekend I was home alone, didnāt binge! But was super restless and achy. I went to the store to get Advil PM but saw the store brand was cheaper ,I got that. I have been on meds for my arthritis (yes arthritis in my spine since 22) so Iām pretty immune to NSAID s and can take a lot. I took 4 capsules, normal for me then continued to take a fifth because I felt really achy. Iām feeling really bad....
Look at the bottle and itās OTC sleeping pills, not an Advil pm substitute ( I either picked up the wrong bottle or it was in the wrong slot since there was a sale label for it I remember)
So I took 250mg of diphenhydramine instead of the dosage of 50mg. I lost all control of my walking and talking. Could not keep my mouth wet at all. It would dry out right after drinking I just was so thirsty and soooo sick to my stomach and I realized it must be a slight OD. All my muscles and joints cramped up causing so much pain, my heart was racing and I was in this state of sleep but also couldnāt sleep (it was fucked) Iām still getting large body jerks.
Since that Iāve felt so ill, decided to finally eat and binged, I feel worse, having a panic attack, not ready to start a new semester (teacher), am disgusted with my body and my anxiety at this moment is so bad I wish I was dead.
[Rant/Rave] I need to vent.
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"|-39| UGW115 | 12 Days BF]
Created: Wed Jan 31 19:06:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ufcap/i_need_to_vent/
---
I am living with this man who is much older than me. It started out as a physical relationship where we hung out and went to the zoo. Fun things like that. We were really close.
I moved in with him and then at some point we ended the physical relationship.
He got a girlfriend and she is here visiting for two weeks. I knew I would feel jealous but I didn't know it would be this bad.
Watching him do things he used to do with me is so hard. Random hugs are one thing he used to do with/for me.
It is so hard to see him look at her like that too. I know he never loved me and never would have but it is hard to see him want someone like that. There is no consolation either. At one point he told me he cared about me more like a granddaughter now (Please, no judgment for the age gap). After a few more months I laughed and said, "I love you _____ but you are so crazy." he didn't have much of a response. I have had friends I told " I love you to." it wasn't anything weird to me.
I know it's normal for it to be upsetting but I am feeling so confused. It was fine when I didn't have to watch or think about it. It is hard being forced to see it even in short interactions like while making dinner. I am normally at work for most of the day... but when I come home I normally hang out wherever I want.
To top it all off us being together in the past is a secret so I can't even say how I'm feeling most of the time. Yesterday he came into my room and said, "Oh, wow you're so chill! Glad you're totaling fine." and I just looked at him life "WTF?" Because he chose to lie to his new girl friend I can't even express discomfort or being upset.
I'm thinking I should skip dinner and go to McDonalds. Last week I couldn't eat. Now I just want to sad eat.
Can we just talk about how I've been restricting and only eating healthy organic foods for the past month, but just ate my roommates junk food out of the trash
/u/Lmaoisuck666
Created: Wed Jan 31 19:01:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ufb5k/can_we_just_talk_about_how_ive_been_restricting/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Other girls complementing me is my motivation
/u/myrtlewils0n [cw:121.8 ā¾ gw1: 115 ā¾ ugw:108.8]
Created: Wed Jan 31 18:57:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ufa81/other_girls_complementing_me_is_my_motivation/
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[removed]
[Goal] my response to someone calling me fat today :-/
/u/xlaaane
Created: Wed Jan 31 18:44:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uf7a9/my_response_to_someone_calling_me_fat_today/
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https://i.redd.it/74bvnt1vaid01.jpg
[Discussion] Taking Psych Meds with Food
/u/supemery
Created: Wed Jan 31 18:22:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uf2c0/taking_psych_meds_with_food/
---
My ziprasidone says that I need to eat at least 400 calories when I take it. Does anyone know if this is because it will make you nauseous if you donāt or does it make it less effective? I donāt mind discomfort, I just want my meds to be effective. I really donāt feel like I deserve to eat right now, but I need to take my meds. Suggestions?
I also take fluoxetine and buspirione at the same time.
Edit: my googling tells me that not eating messes with the bioavailability of the drug. Uggggh I donāt want to eat, Iām afraid I will binge.
[Discussion] As January leaves us, tell me your goals for February.
/u/aerienne [5'4" | CW: 139.0 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Wed Jan 31 18:06:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ueynx/as_january_leaves_us_tell_me_your_goals_for/
---
January is done. Any mistakes or failures you had are in the past. Any successes you take with you.
Short term goals are awesome. Having an end in sight helps us stay grounded and stick to our goals.
Tell me what you want to accomplish in February, ED-related or not.
[Other] 2 numbers control my life
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Wed Jan 31 17:53:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uevmu/2_numbers_control_my_life/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Food's Funny
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:60kg | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Wed Jan 31 17:52:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uevi2/foods_funny/
---
I sometimes question myself. When I stop fasting for extended periods, when I go for alcohol and junk food binges for a couple of days.
Guilt pours in and I remember that I purge everyday. And I was beginning to feel as though the ED was under control. That eventually, it'll go away and I'll be okay with eating one meal a day, as I used to with intermittent fasting.
I'm going out today for two bottles of wine with a friend. I won't eat, I will not. And if I do, it's coming out a minute later.
Have a good and guilt free day, people.
[Help] Overeating and binging so much lately!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 31 17:48:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ueuks/overeating_and_binging_so_much_lately/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ueuks/overeating_and_binging_so_much_lately/
[Rant/Rave] I think I reached a new low. ED=1, me=0...
/u/mina1200
Created: Wed Jan 31 17:45:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uets4/i_think_i_reached_a_new_low_ed1_me0/
---
I'm in the middle of a really bad binge episode right now. I mustve eaten more than 5000 calories worth of junk food yesterday (2+ packets of small donuts, one entire digestive biscuit pack, digestive nibbes, more chocolate, pasta, garlic bread....).
But today OH today. After literally eating the weirdest stuff ever (raw macaroni + butter, expired bread + butter, salami + raw macaroni), I actually went through my flat mates' trash and found nandos chicken and fries which i proceeded to fish out and literally stuff my face in. literally just gnawing at some chicken i found in the bin. I also found bits of maggie noodles from them in the trash which i also ate. i havent even begun to process how shameful this all is. im now sitting alone in my room with a cup of raw macaroni which i also stole. i want to cry and DIE.
[Discussion] DAE take a lot of vitamins? Which ones?
/u/bcoptions123
Created: Wed Jan 31 17:05:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uek1p/dae_take_a_lot_of_vitamins_which_ones/
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I've been taking more and more vitamins lately. I guess I feel like I can make up for missing nutrition. What's everyone else's vitamin intake like?
Every day I take: 2 Vivascal tablets (a hair growth supplement), 1 magnesium, 1 fish oil, 1 multivitamin (switching between a prenatal and Kirkland brand multi), a scoop of prebiotics powder, and a probiotics tablet. Sometimes potassium, turmeric and l-glutamine as well.
I'm thinking I should add vitamin D for the lack of sunlight this time of year too.
[Help] Hair falling out
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 92.4 | BMI 16.3 | UGW 88 | HW 126 | 25F]
Created: Wed Jan 31 16:33:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uecgj/hair_falling_out/
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I'm sure this has been asked before but I wanted to ask it again anyway.
Recently my hair has been falling out more than normal. Besides eating more, is there something I can do?
I already take a multivitamin that contains biotin and have started washing my hair every other day. My hair is super long so I'm just thinking of cutting it so that it won't be tangling and pulling itself out. I don't know if that will make it look worse though. But it already looks pretty bad.
[Other] How did you tell your SO or other loved one(s) about your ED?
/u/phoenixxxskeleton
Created: Wed Jan 31 16:31:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uebug/how_did_you_tell_your_so_or_other_loved_ones/
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I feel like I have been so depressed lately because I just get into this mindset of wanting to lose, lose, lose... and if the scale ever goes up I will criticize myself and just obsess over self loathing thoughts until I can fix it. This involves a lot of ECs and a lot of fasting... AKA I feel sick and pissed off 24/7. I get into these slumps where I just feel so damn depressed and I convince myself that no one loves me, not even my boyfriend. How could he?
I need to tell him about it. I need to explain myself... but Idk how. The signs are so obvious... the other day I even told him that I sometimes eat a lot of food and make myself throw it all up. I constantly ask him if he thinks Iām fat or too thin. He seems really clueless but he really likes it when Iām thin and boney so part of me thinks he knows but likes me thin and doesnāt see it as a real problem.
We keep getting into fights about everything because I take every little thing as a personal insult and convince myself that Iām a piece of shit and donāt even deserve him and I should just let him go and be free of all my stupid fucking baggage.
So that was a huge rant but seriously how have you guys told your loved ones and how did the conversation go?
[Tip] Low calorie Brigadeiro recipe.
/u/SuddenlyAPinneapple [29F | 5'08'' | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Jan 31 16:29:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uebfg/low_calorie_brigadeiro_recipe/
---
Hey there, I've been lurking for a while and today I want to share a recipe. If you guys are craving chocolate (like I do most of time lol), how about making a low calorie bonbon? This recipe teaches how to make banana brigadeiros (a Brazilian chocolate bonbon), they work as a charm. I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes, I'm not a native English speaker. š
š Low calorie "brigadeiros" (Brazilian chocolate bonbon) š
ā” Ingredients: 2 bananas, 2 tablespoons of cacao powder, 4 tablespoons of dehydrated low fat milk.
ā” How to make: cut the bananas and put them in the microwave for 2 minutes. While they're hot, smash them with a fork. Add 2 tablespoons of cacao powder and mix it. Add 4 tablespoons of dehydrated low fat milk and mix it again. Put the mixture in the fridge and let it rest for 20 minutes. After that, get a tablespoon and make little balls with the mixture. There you go, little banana/chocolate bonbons! š
I hope it helps.
[Discussion] Anyone else feel like the ugly sibling?
/u/Ekawa
Created: Wed Jan 31 16:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ue79y/anyone_else_feel_like_the_ugly_sibling/
---
I am a server in a restaurant where my sister works as well. Recently I was told by two of my coworkers that she is gorgeous, and when I was pissed off they told me "don't be jealous because she has better boobs than you".
I have always known that she is a more attractive woman than I am (in most people's eyes). People tell us quite often lately that we look like twins, except she is naturally thin and 20 pounds lighter than me, while I am heavier but struggle with ED. I think it's just hard to see a thin, more attractive version of myself. We are separate people but we have a lot of the same features and she gets a lot of the attention for being good-looking.
Not even hungry
/u/cmbrm5
Created: Wed Jan 31 16:01:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ue4fw/not_even_hungry/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate doctors
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 92lbs | 13.84 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 31 15:59:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ue3te/i_hate_doctors/
---
I went to see my 2 psychiatrists today. I lost 3lbs this week so I'm pretty happy about that. But they want to admit me for weight restoration and a round of ECT.
I really don't want to go back into hospital. fuuuuck.
My ED psychiatrist said if I tried ECT and it did not work he would respect my decision to starve myself to death.
I've made so much progress towards my goal, I can't just end it now by going back into hospital...
[Rant/Rave] I just don't enjoy eating
/u/shesakillermaker
Created: Wed Jan 31 15:22:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uduaw/i_just_dont_enjoy_eating/
---
I've struggled with self destructive issues my whole life. I know I have body image issues, but I've been lucky enough to be able to keep weight off my whole life. Been always fairly small. Currently 5'4 and 115ish pounds. I don't ever weigh myself anymore, except for at a doctors office or something. Apparently I look smaller than I am. Most people act shocked when I let them know I'm over 100lbs. Like, yes. Bones and stuff weigh an awful lot.
Anyways, I HATE EATING.
It gives me no pleasure anymore. I don't look forward to meals. The only reason I eat is strictly to make myself stop shaking, or to dull the pain of my stomach eating itself. I just wish I didn't have to eat to function. I know I don't get enough calories a day; sometimes none at all.
I just feel very frustrated at food, and myself in general. I feel dumb for hating to eat. And then I feel dumb when I'm shakey and feel sick because I haven't eaten in who knows how long.
What do I do? Anyone else do anything to help with hunger, without make a huge deal out of it? Something that's easy, and fast?
Anyone else just hate the concept of having to eat daily? Every day? Multiple times a day? It's exhausting...
[Rant/Rave] I think they're going to weigh me.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 31 15:16:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7udsib/i_think_theyre_going_to_weigh_me/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Wow.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 31 15:12:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7udrgd/wow/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Getting over a crush and restricting hardcore
/u/Sisi21cent
Created: Wed Jan 31 15:11:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7udrcx/getting_over_a_crush_and_restricting_hardcore/
---
Hello everyone! I guess the title says it all...Iām crushed and I donāt how to stop thinking about someone. Nothing will ever happen and Iām a dumb bitch who wastes time thinking about random scenarios and that said person. How do I stop thinking about someone who has it all and certainly doesnāt waste a second thinking about me??
To make things even better I want to restrict hardcore but canāt because Iām working 40h a week...I still do it on the weekends but itās pretty impossible to do it during workdays. I feel disgusted with myself and can only think about chewing and spitting everything I can when I come back home everyday.
So please enlighten me...how does this 24yo stupid woman stops with this insanity??
[Rant/Rave] Really trying to resist the urge to binge
/u/btchy_
Created: Wed Jan 31 14:54:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7udmrv/really_trying_to_resist_the_urge_to_binge/
---
Heavily restricted all last week, hung out with my ex on Monday for his bday and I had one spam masubi when we went out for lunch.
Yesterday I hung with a friend and got stoned, when the munchies kicked in we went to target and I got a vitamin water zero, skinny pop and basil/tomato rice cakes. I ate 3/4 of the bag of skinny pop which is about 500-something calories and then 4 rice cakes which is 200 calories exactly.
I drank a laxative tea before bed and then after that took effect this morning I weighed myself and was back at what I was before Monday.
Now Iām at home, and my dad lives literally a street over from me and he always has tons of junk food and Iām so tempted to go over there and just binge because Iām just feeling so depressed and like I just donāt care. I need that high I get when Iām eating non stop and the high I get when I throw it all up. But Iām trying to resist because I know itāll be better to just stay here and not fuck with my emotions like that.
...but I really want the binge š
[Intro] Scared I'm going to develop anorexia?
/u/peppermintschnapps55
Created: Wed Jan 31 14:51:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7udls5/scared_im_going_to_develop_anorexia/
---
So my story is pretty typical I think. I started an innocent diet to get down to a healthy weight and I'm worried it's getting out of control.
Background: I've been self conscious about my body since around age 9. I was a pretty skinny kid but once puberty began I started to chunk up a bit. I was never fat, really, but from that point on I was never as skinny as I would've liked. I began starving myself intermittedly in middle school and while I may have lost a few pounds then it became less about weight loss and more about the feeling of starvation and pride I got on surviving on a few apple slices all day. Big red flag there, but luckily it never got too serious and I always eventually got back to normal eating.
But I'm an adult now and things have changed. After some medication related weight gain put me in the overweight category for the first time in my life, I decided to try to lose weight. At first I did well. Healthy eating is something I actually care a lot about so I tried to make my meals as balanced as possible. But before too long I got freaked out and how long it was going to take me to lose the weight I wanted and I started cutting the calories down further and further and further and now I've been living on 300 calories a day. The thing is, I want eat more. I keep buying myself delicious looking food hoping I'll let myself enjoy it, but then it just ends up sitting in my cupboard because I can't bring myself to eat it. It kills me when I end up eating a tiny fiber one bar for dinner when I'd rather have cooked up a healthy lentil and vegetable dish. But I just can't do it. Food has started to make me sick. I know this isn't healthy. I've lost over 20 pounds in the last two months and I want to lose at least 40 more. I'm tired all the time. At night I get nauseous from low blood sugar.
The emotional aspect is hard too. I've definitely been using "not eating" as a coping mechanism for any bad feelings I experience. My life has basically been put on hold because of unrelated mental health issues (ptsd +bipolar) and weight loss is one of the few things I've been able to achieve in over a year. And - this is so pathetic I hate even typing it - it makes me feel better about how shitty my life is. Like, other people my age are going to school, getting jobs, meeting new people, etc but I will be skinnier than them so it's all okay.
I want to be skinny. I want to keep enjoying the feelings of starvation. But I don't want to put my health at risk or have this turn into yet another mental illness that takes over and ruins my life. If you've made it this far, thank you for reading. If anyone has any support or advice, I'd really appreciate it. Mostly I just wanted a place to share where I'm going through. I've been reading through this subreddit and you all seem like really great people, just knowing that I'm not some freak for the way I think about food has already helped.
[Discussion] DAE go to goodwill to find their size?
/u/nooneevennotices
Created: Wed Jan 31 14:44:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7udjxe/dae_go_to_goodwill_to_find_their_size/
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I have no idea what I look like so I go to goodwill and try on like 20 different pairs of jeans in different cuts and brands to find out how big I am.
I usually also buy a bunch of cheap dresses to feel pretty but it's not like I'll ever wear them to anything. I wouldn't want anyone to see me like that.
[Other] Thank you, everyone.
/u/cacathrowaway
Created: Wed Jan 31 14:27:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7udf0i/thank_you_everyone/
---
A few hours ago I posted about wanting to kill myself. After that I fell asleep for a few hours. I woke up, and my thought patterns were different. I had been trying to convince myself that I don't need anyone else to survive. But the thought of continuing to be physically alone for 40+ more years hurt so much that I wanted to die. Upon waking, though, I started thinking about how humans *need* connection. Physiologically. It is impossible to be socially isolated for long periods of time and not get sick. I have been socially isolated for the past 15 years. It's made me sicker and sicker. So I'm going to start going to group therapy every day that I can; thankfully there are a couple places in my city that have daily group therapy. It's not ideal, but it's better than nothing. The therapy part of group therapy has never really helped me that much. But it seems like the best option because I will at least be around people on a regular basis without having to hide that I'm sick.
I woke up to comments on my post, and it warmed my heart. Thank you, all of you, for letting me talk about this and for talking back. I still feel really bad. But I don't want to die anymore.
[Rant/Rave] Welcome to the family, I hate you.
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Wed Jan 31 14:20:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7udd8b/welcome_to_the_family_i_hate_you/
---
So my brother is marrying this girl who is just awful. Sheās mean, sheās nasty. The worst part is she blaming my brother āmy sweet, kind, emotional brotherā for her developing āeating issues.ā My brother has always been a big eater. He builds a lot of muscle and has a super physically demanding job. Now, she tells everyone his eating habits are so gross (theyāre not) that she canāt possibly eat and has lost soooo much weight. She uses it against him. If thereās one piece of pizza left, sheāll take it JUST so he canāt have it and throw it away. It makes me so angry. And the worst part is, I think she thinks that itās a bonding experience for me and her. That we can both commiserate over our āeating disorders,ā one diagnosed (mine) and one not. Iāve had to tell her several times that he can eat what he wants, heās an adult for fucks sake, but sheās so controlling and Iām worried that my brother will develop some eating disordered behaviors because of it. It breaks my heart and I donāt know what to do š worst part is, he now lives out of state so I canāt rescue him at every meal when sheās making him stop eating or saying sheāll starve herself if he eats anymore. Iām so lost and sad for him. Heās my best friend and I canāt help but feel like itās my fault. If I didnāt have this stupid ED, sheās have nothing to want to bond over and would never police his food or make him feel bad for eating š
I created us a StepBet!
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 31 14:08:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ud9x6/i_created_us_a_stepbet/
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[removed]
[Help] How to deal with irritability better?
/u/tjmacd
Created: Wed Jan 31 13:31:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uczn9/how_to_deal_with_irritability_better/
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I get very easily agitated, have very low patience for anything/anyone when I'm fasting and lost a 6 figure salaried position as a regional Chef solely due to this. Working in the food industry is already highly stressful on it self and I constantly loose my cool with younger inexperienced cooks over the slightest things when I'm on a fast or restricting. I inquired with our corporate chef about anything I can improve upon after the position got handed out to a much younger inexperienced sous chef and he said he sat down with my Jr Sous and a few off my crew and my only draw back was my quick temper. This isn't the only opportunity that I've lost due to my outbursts and there's not really much that calms me down. Do you guys have any tips to keep calm when your under alot of stress without binging/chain smoking?
[Help] 16M | I love to starve/dehydrate myself
/u/ajasensioa
Created: Wed Jan 31 13:26:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ucy78/16m_i_love_to_starvedehydrate_myself/
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Whenever I get depressed I purposefully stop eating and drinking. I usually fast for a couple days until my parents notice and make me eat. I like the pain I feel from hunger, but I also like the pain I feel from dehydration. I physically get sick until I feel like I am going to throw up and then I go back to eating and drinking.
I am also pretty obsessed with my weight. I weigh myself at least 5 times a day, once in the morning and at night, and as many times as i can during the day I was 180 pounds and 6'3" about a month ago, and now I'm 160 pounds and at the same height. My BMI says I am at a healthy 20, but I can feel my body being damaged and I love it.
Is this an eating disorder or is this purposeful self harm?
[Help] What do you do when people ask you how you lost the weight?
/u/SomeoneCoolerThanYou [5'6" | CW 140.4 | -46.6 lbs | 22.6 | F19]
Created: Wed Jan 31 13:22:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ucx1b/what_do_you_do_when_people_ask_you_how_you_lost/
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I'm inching up to 50 lbs down since April 1st last year. I'm not done, but I hate myself substantially less, and people have definitely noticed.
As much as I love people telling me how much smaller I am, I'm sent into a panic every time I get a "How did you do it?!" or "Tell me your secret!"
I can't tell them the truth. What? You want to hear I ate 800 calories a day with numerous binge/purge cycles scattered in because I don't have any willpower? That I didn't exercise for more than thirty minutes at any time, and never more than like 3 days in a row? That I have a Pinterest board filled with thousands of images of women I'd kill myself to look like? That I spend my free time watching weight loss shows for inspiration or browsing proed websites? Nah, you don't.
So... what do I say? "Eating less and moving more" is never a good enough answer, because I know people want a quick fix. "Caloric restriction" will sometime slide, but there's always the chance eyebrows will raise and the conversation will take a turn into baaaaad territory.
Should I just lie? Say I went keto or attribute it to going vegetarian?
It's so stressful. I just want everyone to stop asking.
[Goal] Tomorrow is the beginning
/u/SkelloKitty
Created: Wed Jan 31 12:59:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ucqpm/tomorrow_is_the_beginning/
---
I am SO excited for tomorrow! The start of february is when I get back on track... I've relapsed and gained everything back but I am going to lose it all in a month. ALL OF IT. I'm going to fast as much as possible, break the fasts with some fruit and vegs, then go back to fasting. I WONT EAT FOR THE TASTE. I'll only eat for the nutrients. Fuck food. I don't need it. I'll feel better without it. Food disgusts me. I'll be pretty again. I'll be weightless like a feather. I'm getting my thigh gap back. I'm getting my flat belly back. I want my face fat to go away. It's all gonna go away, and it starts tomorrow. I'm not going to fail. I can do this.
[Rant/Rave] Living in a sorority is equally the best and worst thing for me
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Wed Jan 31 11:33:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uc2kq/living_in_a_sorority_is_equally_the_best_and/
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Can anyone relate???
On one hand I see these absolutely perfect tiny girls just lounging around in pjās and itās like living inside of inspiration and going to the gym with them helps me out so much. But on the other hand itās so hard to constantly be surrounded by women who have my dream body.
We have chefs that create absolutely amazing full meals, drinks main course salad bar desert for EVERY meal and my brain is telling me to be sensible and that Iāll have a panic attack if I binge, but my stomach is like āoh hell to the yes itās pasta bar night letās goooooooā
[Other] I am going to kill myself.
/u/cacathrowaway
Created: Wed Jan 31 11:15:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ubxr9/i_am_going_to_kill_myself/
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[removed]
[Discussion] If you created a perfect (non-restricting) diet, from a pure nutritional perspective, what would it look like?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 31 11:14:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ubxa7/if_you_created_a_perfect_nonrestricting_diet_from/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ubxa7/if_you_created_a_perfect_nonrestricting_diet_from/
[Rant/Rave] I moved to a new place and it's made restriction so much easier
/u/sogyosha
Created: Wed Jan 31 11:06:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ubv2m/i_moved_to_a_new_place_and_its_made_restriction/
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So I moved back in with my parents because I dropped out of college because I'm a maladjusted loser. And anyway they decided that now is a good time to make me pay for my own food and to make the fridge strictly off limits except for a basket of my things.
I've never been able to really justify spending money on food and especially fast food so this works out well for me. My basket is full of coke zero and chicken broth and that's all I intend to eat. When I was a kid it was so hard to avoid binges because my parents always stocked the fridge with junk food so now to have it all off-limits is a good thing.
Has anyone else found ED behaviors a lot easier after a big life change?
[Discussion] Discreet tracking?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 31 11:01:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ubtmt/discreet_tracking/
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I live in a shared apartment but I have my own room. However there's no shared living space so if I invite someone over I'm inviting them to my room. How do you discreetly track... out in the open? I have a little space with a full length mirror and my scale and a small shelf for a table top. I'd like to track my weight and my progress somehow but not in a notebook because in my half asleep state I won't register to open the notebook, so I'd like something I can hang on the wall maybe. Ideas?
[Rant/Rave] Am I the only one who can't handle hearing about it?
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 76 | š: starpocalypse]
Created: Wed Jan 31 10:55:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ubs1l/am_i_the_only_one_who_cant_handle_hearing_about_it/
---
So. My friends basically know I have/have had/maystillhaveidfk an eating disorder. One of them is pretty obsessive about her weight and really hates herself about it, which yeah I can totally understand.
Is it wrong that I just... I just *don't* want to listen to her freaking out about weight loss? She may or may not be trying to rub it into my face, but she knows specifically that weight loss talk is triggering for me because I get instinctively competitive and insecure.
I've been communicating and actively inviting her to the gym with me. She always says "I'd love to!" and then never follows up, or there's *always* something going on.
We've talked before about going to the gym, many times, since I figured it was the best way to fight my competitiveness--make it into a team effort, but I couldn't fucking deal this morning when she messaged me freaking out about "losing 6lbs since school started" but she's "eating 1700 at 5 small meals a day" and should she go to a doctor about it??
like what the fuck. I was straight with her and asked her "Why are you doing this?" and she just ignored the question. I didn't fucking know what to say. I just know that I need to go to the gym more often now, but I feel so sad about it. I feel so pressured, and it doesn't help that school and internship searching are pressuring me more than ever (so I don't go to the gym as often as I'd like, because I have to sit down and apply for things or do group projects etc.)
idefk, I've been trying to ghost her because I'm starting to think she's not a very good friend and she started to sense it so she asked me about it last night... I told her it's nothing to really worry about. How do I tell someone with depression that there's only so much I can do before she needs to start wanting help herself?
For someone who never follows through with plans I suggest (or can never go to any plans she makes), and has a shitty habit of not responding to my messages for days and weeks now she's mad that I don't respond for a day? I didn't think anything of it, then she messages me at 1am this morning asking the randomest shit (about taxes and paychecks like wtf) and wouldn't really let me go even when I kept trying to tell her I have work at 8, and now this whole weight loss freakout?
she said "I'm really happy I'm losing the weight this fast, but I don't know is this normal??" and asked this question *three times* after I told her my answer each time. =/
[Rant/Rave] BMI calculator scared the shit out of me when I accidentally set it to metric and it classified me as obese even though I know that's not, in any universe, possible
/u/motivatedcactus [5'3" | CW 116 | BMI 20.5 | UGW skinny | 18F]
Created: Wed Jan 31 10:38:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ubn44/bmi_calculator_scared_the_shit_out_of_me_when_i/
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https://imgur.com/a/AbAU3
[Rant/Rave] Just got prescribed Lithium.
/u/doyouhearthatbatsy [5'7" | GW: 105lbs | -65lbs]
Created: Wed Jan 31 10:32:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ublos/just_got_prescribed_lithium/
---
I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder a couple of days ago after having what's believed to have been a manic episode from August to November last year. This is all fine and good, I'm tired of feeling like this all the time so I want a solution, but I keep reading these horror stories about people gaining weight on Lithium. I've only taken it for two nights now but the prospect of undoing any of my progress makes me actually want to kill myself. Being complaint to my medication is hard when it's attacking my main coping mechanism and source of pride.
[Discussion] I can see the outline of each rib now
/u/motivatedcactus [5'3" | CW 116 | BMI 20.5 | UGW skinny | 18F]
Created: Wed Jan 31 10:24:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ubj7b/i_can_see_the_outline_of_each_rib_now/
---
Iām 5ā3ā about 116. This morning I was 118 because of dinner last night yet I looked in the mirror and I realized I could see each rib outlined. Wow! I donāt know if thatās scary or good! I wouldnāt mind staying at my current weight or even gaining some pounds yet I still canāt make myself eat normally. I count, I restrict, I chew and spit. I canāt stop myself. Itās like Iāve got multiple personalities. (I mean no offense to anyone with DID)
Anyone else notice explicit changes to their body lately?
[Discussion] What's the longest you've restricted under 1000 calories without binging?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 31 10:08:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uben7/whats_the_longest_youve_restricted_under_1000/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uben7/whats_the_longest_youve_restricted_under_1000/
[Other] Thought yall would find this funny
/u/andieoli13
Created: Wed Jan 31 09:32:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ub4w3/thought_yall_would_find_this_funny/
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https://i.redd.it/1lccbx2gkfd01.jpg
[Other] Why is this me every time :(
/u/kittenwon713
Created: Wed Jan 31 09:18:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ub0te/why_is_this_me_every_time/
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https://i.redd.it/isd9lznthfd01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend left me, and I haven't eaten in 6 days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 31 09:09:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uaylj/my_boyfriend_left_me_and_i_havent_eaten_in_6_days/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Eating less when not counting calories?
/u/jasper1796
Created: Wed Jan 31 08:37:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uaq6i/eating_less_when_not_counting_calories/
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I don't know if anyone can relate to this, but I find that when I don't track specific calories and just eat foods I know to be low in calories I eat a lot less. Like if I limit myself to a specific amount of calories I tend to overdo it because I want to get the most out of them - but when I just eat safe foods and stop eating when I'm full I lose weight easier and am less prone to binges. As long as I have safe foods on hand I feel fine with restricting because I don't think my appetite is naturally that big. It also allows me to focus on university more. It also makes me feel better because thinking back to the very beginning of my eating disorder, numbers always triggered the fuck out of me, so it makes sense now why I don't deal well with dwelling on calories counting. Anyone feel the same?
[Discussion] That whoosh tho...
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 103 | 16.6 | GW: 98| 35/F]
Created: Wed Jan 31 08:15:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uak9n/that_whoosh_tho/
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After being stuck at 106 for over a month, I weighed in at 103.8 this morning! As happy as I am to be closing in on my UGW, Iām nervous about my Doctor appt tomorrow. I had my blood drawn last week and Iām hoping itās ok. If not, sheās going to start treatment options... the last time I went in July I weighed 121 and she mentioned for me to not lose any more weight... oh well. She canāt force me in to IP without trying other treatment options first.... right?
[Discussion] Anyone take caffeine Pills? How do you like them?
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [š5'5|105|17.68|Maintaining?š]
Created: Wed Jan 31 07:48:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uaddr/anyone_take_caffeine_pills_how_do_you_like_them/
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So I bought these diet pills, I think they were Lipo6, but I only use them when I'm running late and don't have time to make coffee since they're really just concentrated caffeine. Anyway, I lost the label and took two and now my hands won't stop shaking. On the plus side, I got so much shit done this morning. I'm sitting in the library with my eyes wide open like some kind of a frog.
I was wondering if anyone else regularly takes pills for the caffeine or the appetite suppressant and if so, what are your results?
[Tip] My february food calendar!
/u/Piepaws
Created: Wed Jan 31 07:42:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uac2k/my_february_food_calendar/
---
https://i.redd.it/zwul4czq0fd01.jpg
[Help] How does everyone cope with distrusting the scale?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 31 07:42:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uac1l/how_does_everyone_cope_with_distrusting_the_scale/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Trying not to weigh myself
/u/lostinitt [5'6" | CW: 97 | GW: 92| 25F]
Created: Wed Jan 31 07:39:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7uabf7/trying_not_to_weigh_myself/
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I am trying not to step on the scale for at least 5 days, and its been 2 days so far and its already killing me, I feel like I gained so much weight (even though I know logically i cant, I still feel like I did). I really want to weigh myself less but I am so tempted to step on the scale this morning...any tips on how you guys avoid the scale?
[Rant/Rave] I'm eating normally and... not... gaining?
/u/Diamondwrists
Created: Wed Jan 31 07:32:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ua9ld/im_eating_normally_and_not_gaining/
---
Have I been underestimating my TDEE this whole time?
Subreddits like r/loseit and r/1200isplenty make it seem like if you're 5'4" (in my case, a lil less) you gotta eat 1200 calories lest you balloon into a monstrosity, but I've been eating around 1600-1800 in my quest for ~~ recovery ~~ and I've gained... nothing?
To be fair, I move around a lot, and walk a lot (around 15-20k steps a day on average). But I just can't believe it. It's been a month of solid maintenance. It's possible, guys.
Do I want to be thinner and lose more? Hell *yeah* I do, I want to be 95 pounds and on the verge of death. But... this... is working? I don't know. Maybe if I tone up at the gym I'll feel better at this weight. But I'm only a BMI of 19... not bad for maintenance...
[Discussion] January 31st, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 31 07:05:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ua3ic/january_31st_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
Who do you want to be?
In addition, how did everyoneās month go? Did you achieve the goals you set for yourself? Is there anything you would change? 1/12 of the way to a fresh start ā¤ļø
[Discussion] DAE have days when they just give up on tracking
/u/Sb22312
Created: Wed Jan 31 07:03:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ua30w/dae_have_days_when_they_just_give_up_on_tracking/
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I woke up today and I felt just dizzy and weak and awful.Ive been having chest pains and muscle spasms recently too.
I'm supposed to be in recovery but I've been relapsing hard recently and low restricting , fasting overexcersing for the past 3-4 weeks
So today I had my breakfast and I just became so hungry and I just ate and ate and I've not tracked at all today I'm worried somewhat bingenly but it's not like loads . I texted my mate and she's so supportive of recovery it's nice but there's a voice in my head telling me it can't last and that I need to make up for it tommorow . Do u ever have days like this how do you cope? Is it a good thing?
[Discussion] Question for sedentary people who eat 1,300 - 1,400 calories per day
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 31 06:26:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u9uzw/question_for_sedentary_people_who_eat_1300_1400/
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[deleted]
[Help] Struggling so hard with night indulging
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 117 | BMI 18.5?| -15 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 31 05:50:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u9nuv/struggling_so_hard_with_night_indulging/
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I have pretty much convinced myself that I have no control over food. Im like a prisoner to my own tendency to come home at night and stay up until 12am just snacking. I'm trying to work on my mind right now by listening to Law of Attraction stuff, working on my thoughts about myself... but I seem to have this overwhelming lack of hope and surrender about eating chocolate. I then wake up every morning feeling so guilty, and the forces of the universe pull me to the scale where I am at the high end of my low weight. I'm 113-118 for the past year, which is the lowest I can be without starting to slur my speech and make stupid mistakes at my job. I don't know what I need from this sub, but I know that you all helped me lose from 127 to 117 a year ago. I just need support I guess.
[Discussion] Has anyone here ever had their tonsils removed so that they can't eat for a couple of weeks?
/u/ineedtogetlighter [5'4 | CW: 141 lbs | 13.4 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | Male]
Created: Wed Jan 31 05:43:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u9mg1/has_anyone_here_ever_had_their_tonsils_removed_so/
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....would you recommend it?
Heavily considering š¤
[Tip] 250 calorie pancakes changed the way I "binge"
/u/innocentkitty [5'1.5 | CW: 95 | 18.0 | GW: 92]
Created: Wed Jan 31 05:19:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u9hwq/250_calorie_pancakes_changed_the_way_i_binge/
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Generally when I crave food I crave things which are quite 'bready', sweet and filling/heavy. I used to binge on cakes mostly because they ticked all the boxes, but then felt TERRIBLE afterwards because of all the calories I consumed.
Anyway, recently I discovered 250cal banana pancakes. Literally just one banana mashed mixed with 2 eggs and cooked on a skillet/pan with 1cal non-stick spray like regular pancakes. I actually hate bananas, but if you use a non-ripe banana it tastes like a regular pancake (ripe bananas taste like banana bread). They're gorgeously fluffy, american-style and yield about 7 big thick pancakes for 250cal, although I cook mine with a tbsp of flour, half tsp of baking powder, a pinch of cinnamon and serve with a tablespoon of golden syrup for about 300 calories and i'm full for 8 hours.
I'm pretty sure this is a well-known thing but I thought i'd put it out there just in case this could help somebody else in a similar situation cope when they're in need if they can spare 20 minutes to cook. Even though they're still really low calorie for a "normal" meal the process of cooking, eating with a knife and fork for more than a minute and feeling full after actually makes me feel like i'm making big steps towards recovering.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 31, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 31 05:12:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u9gr3/daily_food_diary_january_31_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 31, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday January 31, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 31 05:11:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u9gil/way_to_go_wednesday_january_31_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for January 31, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Thinspo] Looking for an oddly specific type of thinspo
/u/deadlylikesugar
Created: Wed Jan 31 04:41:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u9beb/looking_for_an_oddly_specific_type_of_thinspo/
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Okay...Iām going to try to ask/explain this in the most efficient way possible... haha. It might be a shot in the dark, but Iām hoping that out of all of us on here, at least a couple of you guys might be able to help!
Iām wondering if anyone knows of any Instagram accounts that are thinspo and kind of proED, but not obviously so.
For example, I have a friend that Iām aware also has an ED, and right now, I can tell through her IG account that sheās going through a hard time. Her body is insanely inspirational (it always is...), but more specifically, Iām currently drawn to her pics as thinspo because she looks ill. She looks pale and has dark circles under her eyes - ya know, malnourished. NOW, the most important element of it all for me, personally, is that she doesnāt post ālook at me, Iām so effortlessly skinnyā photos, or, ālook at me, Iām a proED account, advertising the fact that I look sickly.ā She portrays herself as happy and normal, yet I can see her dark circles peaking out from under her concealer. I guess what Iām trying to say is that itās subtle. She just posts normal photos of living her life, but I can tell that sheās secretly struggling. If that makes sense? The only problem is, sheās not a regular poster, so Iām trying to find some similar accounts.
Iām not really drawn to Instagram-famous-y fitness or blogger accounts, either. I know, those girls all have insane bodies, but I guess they just seem too fake and too hard to relate to. This is getting really nit picky, I know, BUT ideally, Iād love if you knewwww said owner of the account actually struggles with an ED, and not someone who just leaves me constantly questioning if theyāre naturally skinny or not.
SO, if anyone could recommend any accounts that are similar to my friendās, it would be greatly appreciated! ā¤ļø
(Feeling like an actual crazy person writing/posting this, but Iām desperate. Lol. Thank you in advanced to those of you who understand. ā¤ļø)
[Discussion] Awkward sex problems?
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 107 | 19.1 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 31 03:17:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u8y5m/awkward_sex_problems/
---
So I have a few weird sex issues that I think might be related to my ED.
First off, nothing turns me on. Guys, girls, whatever. Porn doesn't work, neither does erotica, or seeing people irl.
Which brings me to my next point, which is that only one thing does turn me on and it's super embarrassing. It's like those fat fetish videos. Like, I don't like how fat people look. I don't want to be fat. But that's the only thing that has ever turned me on. Like ever. Since I was like 10. I mean back then I didn't watch fetish videos. But I would imagine the skinniest person I know eating and eating and eating until they just got giant, and I would *ahem* get off to that. I mean I didn't even know what sex was at that age. I was just like "this feels nice and imagining people getting fat makes it feel nicer." So uhmmm yeah. I've never told anyone about that and it's super awkward and embarrassing so please be nice lol. I feel like maybe it has something to do with being obsessed with food and deprived of it so often. Like I can't eat it but I can watch other people get fat. And I guess since I grew up obsessing about food rather than boys/girls I just ended up having a sexual feeling attached to it???
Anywayyyys I'm gonna shut up now. Just hoping someone can relate or even help me through these issues so I can get turned on by like..people lmao. Thanks!
[Help] Recovery??
/u/katheriiiine
Created: Wed Jan 31 00:15:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u86z9/recovery/
---
I donāt know what happened today but something just clicked about how much I am killing my body! So I actually feeling like I can get out of this and eat! But at the same time I am absolutely petrified of getting fat and I might fall back into it! I donāt know what to do or how to recover without getting far!
Losing weight while suffering from BED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 31 00:01:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u84o2/losing_weight_while_suffering_from_bed/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Back with a new username. Nothing like romantic rejection (real or perceived) to kick me back into ED habits.
/u/misspennyfoolish
Created: Tue Jan 30 23:32:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u7znw/back_with_a_new_username_nothing_like_romantic/
---
You may remember me for my special homemade soda I make with herbal tea and plain seltzer. Iām 5ā3 and 129 now. Down from 155. Aiming for 115 next. Iām relieved to have lost the weight but also feel fatter than ever sometimes.
I feel like Iām too fat for any guy worth dating to want to date me. Iām just a chubby hook up. I want to look elegant and thin not āsexyā or āthickā
Idk what the point of this post is. Just that Iām so grateful for this sub and all of you for being so kind and understanding. I always thought I was so bizarre and alone in my bizarreness until I found you all.
I relate to it all. Bad moms, dating insecurities, and double standards (everyone wants a cool girl who looks like Megan Fox but throws down beer and nachos like one of the guys).
Anyway comment if you relate or feel like venting or chatting. Thanks for reading ā¤ļø
[Discussion] Has anyone ever gotten a DEXA scan? (profesh body fat % calculation)
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5ā4ā | cw 118 | gw 110 | bmi 20.7]
Created: Tue Jan 30 23:08:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u7vcw/has_anyone_ever_gotten_a_dexa_scan_profesh_body/
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Were you surprised by it at all?
Iām getting one soon and Iām super scared. I had googled a bunch of photos of what each percentage of body fat looks like on a woman and guessed I was around 22-25% but then I watched a bunch of YouTube videos and a bunch of girls way fitter than me were at like 28-33% so im just like god damn if Iām at 40% or some shit Iām literally going to slice the fat off my body ugh
[Rant/Rave] Oh my god, brain
/u/Strawberry2point0 [5'8" | CW: 164 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | 21M]
Created: Tue Jan 30 22:03:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u7iuh/oh_my_god_brain/
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\> Sitting in a chair, bored, reach over and start fiddling with the skin on my elbow
\> "Huh, the skin there's pretty loose and soft. I can pinch it."
\> ??? ED logic ???
\> "Holy shit, even my *elbows* are fat! How have I not noticed how disgusting they are?"
Why am I like this.
[Rant/Rave] Why will I always be so fat in my mind???
/u/Bleepbloopbroke [65|CW 106.4|GW 95|UGW 84|17.91| -26.6| F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 21:43:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u7esl/why_will_i_always_be_so_fat_in_my_mind/
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I've been at the lowest weight that I've been at for years, but even after losing almost 30 pounds I'm finding more fat on my body than ever before?? How can I be at an underweight BMI and still have SO MUCH FAT?? I got down to 105.6 earlier this week but it's never enough. The fat is everywhere, but my stomach and thighs are the most disgusting.
I feel like the guidelines for what is a healthy weight are wrong because I still feel like I'm so massive. How is it possible that someone my size isn't overweight? I'm so disgusting I can't handle it. I think I'm going to try a 5 day fast. Wish me luck guys. 99 here I come, hoping this will boost my self esteem (although I really doubt that it will)
[Rant/Rave] It's crazy how cravings can trigger appetite
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 113 |19.4| GW:105 | -32 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 21:27:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u7b11/its_crazy_how_cravings_can_trigger_appetite/
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Usually I am the type to struggle to stay under 1000 cals a day and snack often.
However, I was reading that cravings can often trigger snacking and that it is better to address the craving in a healthy way (lol) and get rid of the urge all together.
So of course my ed mind interprets "healthy way" as low calories and I try it - and oh my god what a difference.
I typically crave protein and chocolate, so I've started drinking a low cal hot chocolate every day and eating a rice cake with peanut butter. I've been doing this for two weeks now and have managed to stay under 500 calories every day. All urges to snack are gone. I feel satisfied throughout the day and only need water to fill me up.
For anyone struggling with the restrict, binge, restrict, binge repeat cycle...this really helped me.
edit: Just saw the post on Magnesium supplements, ya'll I'm telling you - figuring out what your body is craving is the key to having better control over your appetite
[Help] Daily Exercises
/u/i-rate [5'5 | 120 | 20.63I | 21.2 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 21:23:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u7a8x/daily_exercises/
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since heavily restricting i havenāt really had the energy for running anymore. what daily exercises do yāall do to keep in shape?
[Help] Can I lose 10lbs in one day?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 30 20:45:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u719l/can_i_lose_10lbs_in_one_day/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u719l/can_i_lose_10lbs_in_one_day/
[Help] Please soothe my anxiety--will I die from eating spoonfuls of peanut butter??
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 116 | GW: small | F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 20:28:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u6x4f/please_soothe_my_anxietywill_i_die_from_eating/
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This isn't exactly ED related, but I ate 4 tablespoons of PB and chugged down a bunch of water, and then incidentally read something about how that can lead to PB clogging the lungs???? And making you die???? And water makes it WORSE?? Wtfffff. I just wanted some protein, mayn
I can deal with the intestinal cramps. I just want to know if I'm going to die. Figured someone out there has done a similar thing at one point and could soothe my worries. thx
Edit: God bless all your souls. I figured many of us have binged on PB hardcore and that it wouldn't kill me, but thank you for the reassurance <3333
[Help] Those working, how does your work help/hinder your ED?
/u/petite-insolite [Height: 164cm | CW: 53kg | GW: 45kg]
Created: Tue Jan 30 19:11:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u6ewc/those_working_how_does_your_work_helphinder_your/
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I work in a food store, and I always find it ironic, here I am restricting yet I am serving people who buy enormous amounts of junk and snacks (our most popular goods) that I would never allow myself to eat.
While it gives me an excuse not to eat, to avoid the food because I am unable to eat at the counter, it certainly doesn't help this fixation I have on food. Stock taking is an excuse to read calorie content, watching people buy tons of food gives me motivation not to.
Does anyone run into issues due to their work and their ED?
[Discussion] January 30th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 19:02:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u6crn/january_30th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What do you want to forget?
[Rant/Rave] I feel so safe in my little home that is eating under my BMR
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 128 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 18:54:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u6awo/i_feel_so_safe_in_my_little_home_that_is_eating/
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The past few weeks I've been patient, which is unlike me. I've been restricting easily, sometimes more sometimes less. Regardless of how much, I'm still busy and productive and happy. Some nights I factor in some calories to get me drunk which has been wonderful. I feel like I'm living in a dreamland. I haven't gone over my TDEE in weeks at ease. And I'm not over critical of my body in the mirror.
I know it's the anti-depressant I'm taking. And I know they're going to make me get off of it. Or I'll take it until it slowly stops working. But right now it is. And I'm happy. And drunk. Thank u for listening.
[Discussion] Mini-Binge
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 132.5 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.7 | F21]
Created: Tue Jan 30 18:21:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u63er/minibinge/
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So I ruined a pretty good streak today. I've been doing consistent 800-900 calorie days, but due to a lot of unrelated stress I had a bit of a mini binge just now, which I'm estimating brought me up to around 1320-1350 calories for the day. Which is like, still not over my BMR, which means I won't gain anything in fat, but it is enough to make me feel bloated and gross and like a failure. :( Does this happen to anyone else sometimes?
[Help] Should I Buy New Clothes If .....
/u/bunntendo [Height5'7 | CW125 | BMI20 | GW115 | GenderNB]
Created: Tue Jan 30 18:20:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u636h/should_i_buy_new_clothes_if/
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I'm not even at my UGW? I only have about 10 more pounds to lose, and the clothes I'm looking at are kind of expensive...... the only main problem is my waist size, but I dont think my waist can get much smaller that it'll make the clothes completely unwearable, maybe if I size down one :? I don't know what to do, none of my clothes fit me right now but if I buy new clothes now, I might just end up having the same problem once I get to my UGW and I'll end up wasting $$$$ if they don't fit me
What would you do??
[Help] Help me with this restaurant menu?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 17:41:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u5u24/help_me_with_this_restaurant_menu/
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This might be a weird request but my boyfriend and I go to this particular restaurant a lot. Eating out is important and special to him so I donāt want to try and convince him that we should go less frequently, but the menu stresses me out because there are no calories listed and so many things that look so good but are so bad. So I was hoping someone could look at the menu and tell me what you think might be safe? He knows about my eating issues so he gets uncomfortable when I only order sides or intentionally try to cut down the calories, so Iām trying to find something that works as is. The menu is [here](http://swingersdiner.com/menu.php). Thanks for your help, I know this is weird.
[Discussion] What do you eat?
/u/btchy_
Created: Tue Jan 30 17:15:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u5o0q/what_do_you_eat/
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And how?
Do you count calories?
Do you stay away from certain foods even if theyāre low cal?
Like I personally canāt eat anything cheesy or carby because it triggers me to binge on something much more calorie dense.
I donāt usually count calories exactly , Iāll guesstimate but wont ever go over 1000. I also tend to stick to foods like plain salad with a light dressing, sometimes pretzels but even that can be a trigger sometimes, fruit and rice cakes, zero calorie drinks etc very plain.
Havenāt binged in a week which is really nice. Usually itās 1-2 times a week, then purge, then fast or severely restrict.
I personally donāt know anyone who also struggles with eating issues so I donāt know where to turn to when wanting to know if Iām really the only person whoās weird with food and I guess Iām just curious as to how everyone elseās eating issues work.
[Other] Struggling with telling someone my ED was back - chose the most 'me' way possible: through poem!
/u/spiNACHOcolate [Height:1m70 | CW:54kg | HW:69kg | GW:50kg | F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 17:02:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u5klq/struggling_with_telling_someone_my_ed_was_back/
---
When somethingās worth sharing but words seem to fail
One pipes up the courage, one proceeds to bail
With positive happenings, simpler things to discuss
Wholesome, fulfilling, mitigating fuss.
To break the tension; hiding fear, disrepair
Situation enlightened with a creative flair
You know what is next from ārecovery brillianceā
Stems a temporary breach in mental resilience
An eating disorder re-manifested itself
Dropped pounds on Christmas presents and pounds from myself
A reason unknown, and an end not in sight
A sigh, demotivated, return to the fight.
Just plenty of study, Iāll eat what I bear
No need to waste your time, simply make you aware
It just goes to show - always room for improvement
And no way to stray from the recovery movement!
[Discussion] DAE set weird rules for themselves when food shopping?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 16:55:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u5j09/dae_set_weird_rules_for_themselves_when_food/
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I went to Trader Joeās today and I kept coming up with new rules and excuses to myself for why I couldnāt buy anything. I have to finish all the food I already have, the calories have to be under 400 cals for the entire package, even if you would never eat it all at once, I can always come back, I can only buy it once Iāve been āgoodā for a whole week, etc. etc. What are the weirdest shopping rules you have?
[Rant/Rave] I don't feel like shit right now and it feels weird..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Jan 30 15:17:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u4uaj/i_dont_feel_like_shit_right_now_and_it_feels_weird/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
I'm broke as fuck and trying not to worry about money and just using my credit card. I broke a three and a half day fast last with 500 calories of food from work but also set a new step record according to my phone's pedometer.
50 thousand fucking steps! Like 20 miles somehow from walking a ton yesterday and working 6 hours. I'm super proud.
Also today found a Starbucks card in one of my pockets and money so I went to this small thrift store on my way to work not looking for anything in particular and I found a cute bag, a motorcycle type vest made of real leather, a casual blazer that is a size SMALL! Also a couple cute tops that all don't make me look like a pirate.
I'm kind of riding the restricting fasting wave and super caffeinated so I feel fucking fantastic now and I'm just not looking foreword to the crash that will come later and I'm still worried about tomorrow and having to see my partner tomorrow and this weekend. I just want to fast all week before valentines day and restrict on that day.
I hope everyone has a lovely day and can take time to do something you enjoy.
Willow
[Help] Husband is deployed and my weight has plummeted
/u/andieoli13
Created: Tue Jan 30 14:32:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u4ifq/husband_is_deployed_and_my_weight_has_plummeted/
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Sorry for wall of text. Also on mobile.
I'm 25, 5'2" and 102.2 lbs. Without him here to help me keep of track I have gone from 138lbs (my heaviest) to 102.2 lbs. I am falling into all my old habits and tricks. I am so close to double digits and really struggling right now. Ana became my best friend when chronic illness took all my control.
I am afraid of how upset my husband will be when he finally comes home and I am 90 something pounds.
Is anyone else married? How do you deal?
[Rant/Rave] You know what grinds my gears?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Tue Jan 30 14:17:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u4e5v/you_know_what_grinds_my_gears/
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How I can have an ED and my friend can have an ED, except I maintain normal weight and she's able to maintain low weight. WTF is she doing differently than me? Am I really that out-of-control that I can't limit my cal intake for a couple months or something? Fuck it, I'm starting this shit today. No more extra snick snacks for me!
[Discussion] ED fashion: what do you wear?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 14:15:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u4dmp/ed_fashion_what_do_you_wear/
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I thought it might be useful to have a thread where people talk about their ED related body insecurities and other people with those same insecurities talk about what they wear to make themselves feel better about it. For example, I have huuuuge hips and thighs so I wear a lot of a-line skirts that hide them.
[Help] is anyone able to successfully restrict at or under 300 for long amounts of time?
/u/xlaaane
Created: Tue Jan 30 13:57:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u48yz/is_anyone_able_to_successfully_restrict_at_or/
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[removed]
[Tip] Magnesium supplement may have just saved my sanity and stopped my binge cycle.
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 115 | GW1: 110 | LW 90]
Created: Tue Jan 30 13:30:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u41ku/magnesium_supplement_may_have_just_saved_my/
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I'm so relieved I could cry. I've been caught up in overeating / small binge cycles for so long now and I'm sitting here, with a cupboard full of sugary food and a full fridge, and I feel calm. I have no desire for any of it, no itch, no nagging urges.
This year I have made it my goal to be free from binging and finally meet my gw again. I've been reading the book *Binge Code* (highly recommend) and honestly it's been so helpful in resisting urges but the physical *cravings* persisted. The book suggests at one point that one trigger is nutritional imbalance and this made so much sense to me as I am always fatigued.
I happened to have a unopened bottle of Magnesium supplement which I never ended up taking, apparently most women are actually deficient and it helps with nerves so I thought why the hell not.
*Oh my god.* The difference. I could cry. I've only been taking it a couple of days but these are the first couple of days in so long I've felt normal. Energised but so so calm and content. I have absolutely no urges to binge. None. I tested it and ate a funsize bag of M&Ms my mum gave me, normally this would've had me tearing my kitchen apart. Nothing. The taste was enough to satisfy the brief craving. Is this how normal people feel??
I've also been taking a multivitamin (without magnesium) and a probiotic. It would make so much sense. I've always been so confused why I do this to myself, what if it's chemical instead of emotional?
I did not expect this at all but I noticed a difference straight away - I've been researching and Magnesium does indeed stop chocolate cravings apparently but there isn't much investigation into it as an appetite control, I did find a couple of posts in loseit saying that it has stopped people binging completely though, which only gives me more hope that this could be my answer.
This probably won't be everyone's answer but I had to share, I just hope this can help someone else too.
EDIT: Obviously be careful with all supplements and mindful about the amount, checking with a doctor is probably wise
[Discussion] Nemesis: Anyone else got one? Pettiness enclosed
/u/onerousboners
Created: Tue Jan 30 13:28:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u413a/nemesis_anyone_else_got_one_pettiness_enclosed/
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**I'm very sorry, on mobile, please flair as discussion.**
This person is the root of my disordered eating. They haunt my life. Every day is a game of whether or not I'll use their social media to mentally flog myself. I wake up thinking about them. All of my goals boil down to: beat them, win. Must be thinner, must be more talented, must produce more creative projects, must show I'm having more fun.
I can't avoid this person; they are, for all intents and purposes, family. So unfollowing isn't an option. Could take an extended social media break, but I do like seeing my friends and stuff. Still, willing to do just about anything.
I've been in this hell for, holy fuck, 10 years now. I WILL do anything for some relief. I want my life to be my own again. I don't even remember what that's like. Maybe if I can stop this, the rest of my health will follow. Maybe that's a pipe dream, but it would at the very least help.
Please. Any advice to stop thinking of someone, to stop comparing, to STOP. You all are the most supportive group I've ever seen. So wonderful, I feel like I don't belong here sometimes because of my constant petty thoughts. But you're the only ones who can help me, I think. No one else can know about this.
[Tip] 150 calorie/36 oz protein shake recipe
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 13:14:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u3x8j/150_calorie36_oz_protein_shake_recipe/
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Let me know if this isn't okay, but I thought it might be helpful for people here who binge or who need something that looks high calorie and like a lot of food but isn't. I discovered today that you can make a 36 oz protein shake with 1 scoop low cal protein powder (110), 1 cup almond milk (40), a handful of ice cubes, and 2 tablespoons of the sugar-free syrup flavor of your choice (0 cals- I went for 2 tbsp raspberry and 2 of hazelnut). You can also add coffee to it. It makes a *ton* of shake and it's pretty filling, and it's helped me to curb other binges.
[Help] Motivating while depressed?
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 132.5 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.7 | F21]
Created: Tue Jan 30 12:47:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u3q6y/motivating_while_depressed/
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So Im guessing because I'm on here and I have depression, that a lot of you do too. I'm really trying hard not to let it affect my school and grades, but I have a big assignment due tomorrow that I haven't started, and I literally feel like curling up in a ball and dying. I have no physical energy, no mental energy, nothing. I'm a depressed piece of shit and I have no idea how I'm gonna get this done tonight. Any tips, please, to help me shake this off for tonight and get this done?
[Discussion] DAE use family as a motivator for staying/getting thin?
/u/myrtlewils0n [5'4 ā¾ cw:122 ā¾ gw:108 ā¾ 21F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 12:07:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u3ew7/dae_use_family_as_a_motivator_for_stayinggetting/
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I don't have the best relationship with my extended family (ie. Anything outside of my mom/dad/step-parents/brother/sisters). They're all relatively self-centered, abusive alcoholics so wrapped up in their own drama that they feel like others should be kissing their asses 24/7.
A large majority of them are incredibly fat as well and have no motivation to change that. I'm talking morbidly obese, several heart attacks deep type of fat. And I'm not sure if this is like... psychological holdover from being semi-regularly verbally/physically abused by some of those people as a child but for some reason there's no bigger motivator to stay thin than thinking of them. I think I've convinced myself that if I get big, I'll become them in some way.
Does anyone else have this sort of weird relationship where their family is a huge motivator of your ED/reason to restrict?
[Rant/Rave] Blahhh Iām a bad person
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword
Created: Tue Jan 30 11:33:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u357n/blahhh_im_a_bad_person/
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So thereās this girl in my unit whoās on the larger side. Like idk how big but big. Like fat. (I feel so mean saying that tbh cuz of how much I would hate to be called fat)
Sheās honestly such a sweet girl and thereās so many redeeming qualities about her. Like sheās kind and bubbly and always shares all the food she has with others and is cute and goofy and I really did like her....
...Until my ED got worse and she started to disgust me. Like holy fuck I feel like a terrible person to admit this, but Iām legit uncomfortable around her and disgusted by her.
Whenever ANYONE has food sheāll always zoom right up and ask āhey whatās that? Can I have some?ā Like even if itās a tiny snack. And it pisses me the fuck off. Like Iāll be eating my shitty Costco brand protein bars that are so perfectly calculated and shell ask for a piece EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS THEYāRE BAD BECAUSE SHES TAKEN FROM ME BEFORE and like. UGH. I just get so protective over my food and it makes me so upset that she asks everyone for a bite of their food. Sheās like nosy about food. I hate it. I legit hate eating snacks around her and I scarf them down/hide them if sheās around.
Like obviously Iām projecting/disliking in her what Iām afraid of in myself but I honestly canāt stand it anymore. Like sheāll be EATING FOOD AND SHEāLL ASK.
Also she wastes so much food. Like during mealtimes she takes so so much and doesnāt finish all of it which also pissed me off for a while until I found out the army just tosses all their food that goes uneaten (yay for dumb laws!) and sheās ALWAYS ALWAYS EATING SO MUCH JUNK. I just genuinely cannot comprehend how she can do that without hating herself. Like I just donāt understand.
/rant
Please donāt think Iām a terrible person :( I just needed to get this off my chest and Iām already beating myself up so much for thinking about another human being in such a mean way but I just needed to vent because I just canāt stand it.
[Bonus pic of how stunning my base was today!](https://i.imgur.com/c72k81e.jpg)
[Discussion] DAE purge because it's the only thing that gives you a break from thinking about food?
/u/crazeecatladee [5'5 | CW: 130lbs | GW: 120lbs | 28F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 10:49:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u2ta1/dae_purge_because_its_the_only_thing_that_gives/
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I've tried every form of distraction - drinking tea/coffee, chewing gum, exercising, taking a walk, reading, watching TV, going shopping - but literally the only time I'm not obsessing over food is in that moment of calmness and clarity after a purge.
Lately I've been binging and purging multiple times a day purely because I crave those few post-purge minutes or hours when I can feel like a normal, level-headed person who doesn't want to eat everything in sight. As pathetic as it sounds, purging at work is the only way for me to get anything done - otherwise I just spend my day scrolling through Seamless and Postmates, thinking about all the food I want to order, counting down the seconds until I can eat again.
Does anyone else relate? Have you successfully found something less destructive than purging to distract you from thoughts of food?
Netflix Premium Account.
/u/Darshi_
Created: Tue Jan 30 10:33:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u2oz3/netflix_premium_account/
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https://youtu.be/1wQXeFp9EdA
[Help] Iāve been stuck in an uncontrollable B/P cycle this past week, to the point where I think I need to be admitted. Am I going to gain a ton of weight while there?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 30 09:06:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u20xv/ive_been_stuck_in_an_uncontrollable_bp_cycle_this/
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[deleted]
[Help] Overweight girls with EDNOSāhow are you learning to cope?
/u/lilialley
Created: Tue Jan 30 08:57:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u1yn1/overweight_girls_with_ednoshow_are_you_learning/
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My BMI has bounced between 23 and 30, I have never been low BMI. I am at one of my highest weights right nowāevery time I look in the mirror, I want to burst into tears, and then I drive to the store to get some food to feel better. I have fasted for weeks, restricted for months, and binged for whole years. I bounce up and down 20-40 pounds every single year, it's almost a tradition. I have never, ever managed to establish a healthy routine.
For other people, there is no possibility that I have an eating disorder. There is constant criticism. Every red flag is seen as a little quirk, no big deal. I constantly down energy drinks with BronkAid, people think it's quirky and poke fun at me for it. Every pound lost is praised, with no regard for how it's done. When I'm restricting, I'm constantly cold, people make fun of me because I'm so fat, obviously I can't be cold. I'm not saying I want attention, in my worst stages all I want is to be left alone to *work*, but it's just so hard. Even my therapist didn't believe I have an eating disorder.
I just want to cry sometimes, feeling so trapped in this disgusting body and feeling so out of control of myself, only when I'm restricting and people are complimenting me do I think I'm in control.
Overweight girls, if you're here, have you dealt with this? Even if you haven't, I'd just like to know you're here. I'm so tired.
[Rant/Rave] My friends cornered me about my ED last night
/u/dahee3697 [154cm | CW: 59 | GW: 52 | F | 19]
Created: Tue Jan 30 08:48:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u1wd7/my_friends_cornered_me_about_my_ed_last_night/
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Last night my friend's cousin decided to make a circle and go around telling everyone what their flaws and problems they need to work on are. For example, I have a habit of pointing the finger of those who wash the dishes yet will forget to do my own or that I have a tendency to lash out at others and push people away. Understandable. But then they started to talk about my ED and tell me how I'm not proud of my country because I don't embrace my curvier figure. It just made me feel like shit, who are you to say I'm pushing away my own culture because of something so shallow? They said they all notice how I don't eat which is miraculous. None of them spend 24 hours 7 days a week with me to see what I eat. I worry about my thinning hair and I'll sometimes talk about it or make jokes and they said, "You know why your hair is thin." One friend even revealed how I had confided my problems to her at one point and how my journal was accidentally left open on the table once and she saw it. I didn't want it to be explicitly known that I have a problem with food or that I talked to her. She said I need to seek help, something needs to be done about it, it can't go on, blah blah blah. I understand that and agree , but I'm so angry at her mainly and the other girl who told me I'm rejecting my background. I have problems deeper than what any of my friends know, things I can't confide in anyone. It's not really the fact that they brought my ED up to me that bothers me, it's the way they did it and the fact that they were conjuring up a cause for it in their own heads instead of just asking me how I was doing and why I feel like I need to do it. For fuck's sake. I'm so upset I don't even have an appetite so thanks for helping, I guess. This makes me want to restrict and never let them see me eat out of pure spite. And you know what the messed up part is? I was really working on it. I am doing a lot better than I used to.
[Rant/Rave] Anxiety on top of anxiety served with a side of depression and anxiety.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Jan 30 08:48:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u1w8i/anxiety_on_top_of_anxiety_served_with_a_side_of/
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On mobile flair as rant rave please.
I have no money and have just been charging stuff to mg credit card til I get paid. I can't technically afford any thing I have even resorted to walking 5 miles to ways to and from work.
My coworker invited me to brunch tomorrow on my day off and I am also supposed to see my partner that night and know I don't want to either time. I can't quite afford to go out to brunch but I really want the social validation. It's two of the adorable fun female bartenders from my work and they are both really skinny.
C is vegan and gluten free but Eats eggs on occasion but avoids most dairy. Skinny as a rail and 5 inches shorter than me. Always eating raw veggies at work like I do sometimes.
D is quite petite and also very small and goes to the gym and tracks her steps. She is my friend and also sort of in opposition to me now. We both might get part time jobs at a bar together in addition to the bar we work at now. She has been aggressively tracking her steps like I do and it's kind of a competition we, but I take it way to seriously because I'm disordered. I have to eat less and move more than her even though she is probably only like 5'2" compared to my 5'9"
My partner feels bad that I can't afford anything and wants to buy and make me food even though I absolutely hate when other people cook for me because I am super particular and I cook for work. I need to know how much I am consuming and what is in it.
Also I sort of fell off the vegan wagon and have had cheese in my time of weakness and the guilt is heavy. I have been so depressed that my morals have suffered. I want to eat very little dairy if any. It's more practical to be vegetarian than vegan for where I work now and also I feel like people validate vegetarianism more than veganism.
My coworker who I cook with also sort of take a jabs at me for not eating dairy and it's upsetting cause I feel really judged.
My friend told me he wants to shoot me for a photo shoot at the end of February and there is some stuff he wants me to wear that would look better if I were thinner so I am trying to drop weight really fast but also just anxious about it cause I feel like I hate every picture of me. I've always wanted to be someone a muse or model and now that I have an opportunity I am getting cold feet.
I feel so overwhelmed. Also I have fasted the last few days after a 3 day binge stretch and then I had a mini binge and went over my restriction amount. I am really rigid about staying below a certain number and j feel really bad when I go over.
When I binged last week I was so upset I resorted to self harm and then I did the same thing when I went over my limit I wanted to punish my self and reflect the ugliness inside me on the outside. But now I have to wear pants and long sleeves in the warm kitchen at work because I can't have co-workers or customers seeing my arms or legs they look really really bad..
So yeah. Also I am continually having an existential crisis about my own body and functions of said body. I have had a bm of any sort in two weeks and I feel like stuff is just sitting there but I am scared go take lax because I've been walking and working so much I have no time to rush to the bathroom and when I walk to and from work there aren't exactly easily accessible bathrooms because my city has a high vagrant homeless population.
I have no idea how much my body needs to function I pretty much have survived on coffee and 200 calories a day for two weeks minus three binge days and one day that seemed like maintainence according to my phone apps. I don't know what my BMR is or what I need to lower it to for my body to just stop being shitty.
So that is my long all over the place vent rant rave.
Thank you lovelies. Everyone be safe and well.
Willow. <3
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Iāve gained, now I have a small SO, now Iām self conscious
/u/justanotherbrunette [5'7" | CW 135 | GW 125 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 08:40:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u1ud0/rant_ive_gained_now_i_have_a_small_so_now_im_self/
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Rationally I know that he wouldnāt be with me if he didnāt find me attractive, and weāve known each other for years so heās seen me go from 120 to 155 and back to 125 and now up to 135. I stopped counting calories, I stopped restricting, and I started eating meat again and look where it got me. He weighs between 150 and 155... and heās over 6ft. Valentineās Day is coming up and I just got something new I need to fit into. Heās so slender and thin and gorgeous that his bones leave marks on my skin when weāre together. I need to be smaller so I donāt feel like such a whale next to him.
[Discussion] Had anyone ever been hospitalized?
/u/btchy_
Created: Tue Jan 30 08:27:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u1qyd/had_anyone_ever_been_hospitalized/
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How long had you been dealing with your ED when you were admitted?
What initially happened to cause you to be admitted? Like did you faint and they took you to the hospital?
What weight were you at?
How did you proceed from there?
[Rant/Rave] Sugar free candies: a horror story
/u/fatty_mayonaise [5'7'' | jabba | GW 112 | -9 | 29F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 08:19:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u1oyu/sugar_free_candies_a_horror_story/
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**warning** poop & vomit ahead. Read no further if that's not your thing.
I should have listened to all of the warnings and user reviews of sugar free candies. Apologies for the grossness, but holy butthole! I binged yesterday morning for the first time in weeks and tried to salvage the day by just not eating until the next morning. I have a bag of sugar free hard candies that I suck on from time to time to stave away boredom eating. Well I went through probably 8-10 of them yesterday afternoon without consuming anything else besides water and tea. No way did I think this would be enough to cause the full-on colon cleanse as detailed in those hilarious sugar free gummy bear user reviews on Amazon, but oooooooh was I wrong.
It started with a headache. I thought it was one of my pre-migraine headaches, so I lay myself on the couch while my husband and kids ate dinner and tried to fight it off. An hour later I was on the toilet with a trashcan in my lap, spewing hot lava from both ends. It was like the lava monster from Moana had a vice grip on my insides and was forcing it all out, wherever it could exit. Pretty sure a demon was exercised from my bowels at one point, my poor children probably had nightmares about the noises all night long.
I woke up this morning feeling emptied, with a brain that I can feel pulsating through my skull, trying to choke down some black coffee to at least calm my head throbbing, with a new resolve to switch up those sugar free devil stones with gum from now on. Happy Tuesday everyone!
[Help] Mineral oil- it really won't cause gains?
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 115 and staying | BMI 18 | -17 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 08:14:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u1nwz/mineral_oil_it_really_wont_cause_gains/
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Maybe it's a placebo effect but I feel like mineral oil makes me gain. The internet says that it can't be digested though. Can anyone ease or confirm my fear?
[Rant/Rave] hellooooo double digits!! + tips for maintaining? (rave or help)
/u/grape_fruits [slightly over 5'3" | 99.9 lbs | 19F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 07:16:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u1a7p/hellooooo_double_digits_tips_for_maintaining_rave/
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woke up early before class today to weigh myself and i thought i'd be like 100.8 at the lowest but hello 99.9 lbs!! i literally can't remember the last time i saw this number and now i'm so so so so close to my ugw, less than 5 lbs away, i just need to restrict a little and in time i'll be truly tiny and maintain and i can eat all the foods i'm scared to eat now :') i'm kinda scared that i'll go off the deep end and never be able to actually maintain so i'd love tips on that too!! like should i put my scale away once i get to my ugw? do i stop counting calories or should i count up to my tdee? what if i binge? etc etc thanks for listening! not sure what to flair as, sorry mods :(
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday January 30, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 30 05:10:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u0kwi/thinspo_tuesday_january_30_2018/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 30, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 30 05:10:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u0kvl/daily_food_diary_january_30_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for January 30, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Those who have recovered (or tried), how long did it take you to start feeling "better"?
/u/athrowaway76250 [5'4" | CW: 105(?) | GW: 108-112 | SW: 119 | LW: 99 | 24F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 04:14:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u0bmk/those_who_have_recovered_or_tried_how_long_did_it/
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I weighed 99 pounds at the very end of December. I have been trying to eat "normally" since then. I eat when I'm hungry and I'm making myself aim for 1600-1800 calories (even though part of me is *terrified* that that's too much). I don't know exactly what I weigh right now but I'm probably back up to 104 or 105.
In some ways, I already notice improvements: my mood is more stable, I don't feel weak all the time for no reason, and I can *kind of* focus on things again (my concentration *had* gotten so bad that I couldn't even focus on things I love, like reading or writing).
However, none of the things above are completely back to normal yet. Additionally, my gastrointestinal system is prone to being upset nowadaysāwhereas when I was restricting, I was chronically constipated, now I'm having nearly the opposite problem. And aside from that, I feel bloated and uncomfortable a lot of the time (sometimes crampy). I'm also tired a lot these days, which seems counterintuitiveāshouldn't I have *more* energy, since I'm actually letting myself eat enough now?
And I *feel* hungry a lot more often *even right after eating a meal* (which seems weird to me because when I was restricting I'd go for a long time without noticing hunger). Then again, when I feel hungry *now*, it's more like stomach-growling hungerāwhereas when I was restricting, sometimes I wouldn't even notice I was hungry until I'd get lightheaded and dizzyāso maybe this actually-feeling-hungry thing is actually a sign of improvement?
The hardest part of all this has been the psychological aspect. I have a lot of mixed feelings. It's been easy enough to actually *eat* when I'm hungry, but afterwards I'm constantly battling with feeling guilty and disgusting for letting myself eat "so much," feeling fat a lot when I look in the mirror, and trying not to weigh myself but hating myself for the idea of what I *might* weigh.
I know it's only been a month of trying, so I can't expect to suddenly be "cured," but I was curious to know what the "timeframe of recovery" looked like as far as actually *feeling* better (physically *or* psychologically) for those of you who have recovered (or have tried to recover) before? Am I right to suspect that feeling better physically will come before feeling better mentally?
Thanks in advance for any insight <3
[Help] Weak pulse?
/u/finnkat
Created: Tue Jan 30 03:11:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7u01vl/weak_pulse/
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I've been looking at a lot of physical consequences of EDs recently and heart stuff seems to be a big one so idk if I'm just being paranoid or if something is actually up. I can't feel my pulse at all unless i push down extremely hard and stay totally still, and I feel like I have heartburn multiple times a day even if I haven't eaten anything recently (although I will say i practically live off of diet pepsi so it could be because that's acidic?). Idk if it matters but I have a 15.9bmi and my heart rate is ~72bpm, which seems normal? The problem is that I can barely feel it. I haven't been focused on my electrolytes at all, idk if that's more important in people who b/p, I personally only restrict, but I'm going out tomorrow to get some powerade zero and other things I've seen recommended on this sub. It's 3am so idk if I'm just psyching myself out and there's really nothing to be worried about or if there's really something wrong, but I'm kind of freaking out since I've read that heart problems and cardiac arrest can hit without warning.
[Discussion] Fatlogic/weightloss myths you subscribe to?
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 60.9 | 20.35/20.11 | GW: 57 | UGW: <55 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 01:54:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tzql0/fatlogicweightloss_myths_you_subscribe_to/
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Most of us are pretty knowledgeable about what goes into weightloss and the myths that people perpetuate. But are there any things that you know aren't true but you still believe in them anyways?
For me, it's that no real weightloss happens until I've lost water weight and food weight (aka faaaaaaaaaaaaast like your life depends on it).
On the other side, I'm now a believer in weight lifting to change your body shape/composition. Last time I lost weight, I had this little stubborn pad of fat that sat on my lower stomach, even when I was underweight. I wasn't physically unfit by any stretch of the imagination but I mostly focused on cardio.
Now that I've been going to the gym (light weights and cardio) and really stepping up the ballet (so never focusing on abdominals specifically), my stomach is nearly flat and I fit into clothes that I normally can't wear until I'm 3 kg lighter than I am now. My waist is about the same size as when I was on the border of normal/underweight.
Only bad thing, I normally have a thigh gap by now but my leg muscles have gotten so big it's barely visible...
I wish i was as stringent about my money as I was about my calories šøšøšøšø
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 01:32:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tznj3/i_wish_i_was_as_stringent_about_my_money_as_i_was/
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[removed]
[Intro] finding something to eat for
/u/sleepysatou [5'6 | 132.2 | 21.3 | 32.2 | gril btw]
Created: Tue Jan 30 01:08:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tzjz3/finding_something_to_eat_for/
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I average out at 1k calories a day, but I'm currently trying to induce lactation (long story) and need to eat 1500 a day to make sure I'm able to start producing. It's so frustrating trying to get more calories in when you're already full. It's under my TDEE still, though, so I should lose weight... just very very very slowly.Once my milk comes in though I might drop by 100cal a week to find what the minimum i can eat is without sacrificing supply.
[Discussion] Telling your SO
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Tue Jan 30 01:05:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tzjit/telling_your_so/
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Will preface this by saying I have not been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I would meet criteria for bulimia, I consider myself bulimic or OSFED.
Just wondering to those who have told their boyfriends or girlfriends... how did that go? How soon into the relationship? What was their reaction?
I really need support and my boyfriend is amazing but he has no idea I b/p. We have been together a year. I want to tell him, but I'm so scared. We have a great relationship but I don't think he would know how to handle this.
So tell me what your experiences have been like!
[Discussion] DAE smoke weed and find it easier to lose weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 30 00:42:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tzfyr/dae_smoke_weed_and_find_it_easier_to_lose_weight/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Just a small victory.
/u/Squirrella [5ft | CW 165| GW 100| 38 F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 23:59:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tz91m/just_a_small_victory/
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I work in a grocery store and I'm surrounded by garbage as well as healthy stuff all day long. Today's my Friday. I wanted desperately to buy a huge chocolate bar, take it home and make sweet love to it, but I didn't. Now if I can just manage not to get high and *make* some kind of sugary nonsense I do not need...
[Other] New beginnings and lost periods.
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:120 |19.7 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 23:25:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tz3dr/new_beginnings_and_lost_periods/
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I havenāt been posting as frequently as I used to because Iāve been moving! I actually just cleaned out my old apartment today and turned in the keys, although it was so weird because my ED really kicked itself into high gear the second I moved into that place. I moved into it at a gross weight but left almost 30 IBS lighter. So much has gone on this month and I just need to vent a bit about ED stuff. Any advice or encouragement would be helpful because Iām mad stressed rn
- I lost my period. Honestly I donāt mind this but I need to do more research to see the pros and cons and such. (Please feel free to educate me on this because I know nothing about what happens when you lose your period) Before move out day I was basically only drinking coffee or water and only eating 100 calories if I needed it, although I totally forgot that losing your period is a thing.
- the friend I had posted about a while ago who also has an ED gained a lot of her weight back and Iām so much smaller than her?? I have the sickest sense of satisfaction even though I know itās awful. Weāre both doing the same workouts too and I know weāre in a silent competition. Every time one of us posts a body pic or an ootd, the other one does too. Itās sick and not healthy but I know Iām winning and I know sheās trying to recover and love herself and get muscly and toned but I feel like a part of her wants to be beating me and it only fuels me more.
- Iām seeing a therapist and Iāve been so open about my ED, mostly because Iām really trying to quit laxatives. Sheās been really helpful and not judgmental or overreactive and I really like her!
- I made myself a doctors appointment concerning my laxative use. I fucking HATE that I had to do this but i know I really fucked up my stomach with the amount of laxatives I was taking and Iāve been getting so many physical symptoms that I had to do it. I still want to restrict and Iām not ready to eat, but I know I have to get myself off these stupid laxatives or Iām going to really screw myself over
- As I said before, Iām out of my old place BUT my new place isnāt going to be ready until February 9th. Iām with my parents while I wait for my new apartment to be ready and Iāve had to eat dinner with them every night. Iām so stressed about the calories and Iāve been trying to work out and burn as much dinner off without them noticing. I had gotten myself down to only one dulcolax a day but Iām so worried about the weight that Iāve been impulsively taking 4-5 a day and I hate it. I was 117 when I left and after tonightās dinner followed by laxatives and a shit ton of water I was nearly 120. I know itās just water weight but I fucking hate this and I canāt wait to be on my own and restricting again. I just want to fast and be in a place without food
Those are pretty much the main things that Iām stressed and anxious about right now. Thanks for reading if you did! I just needed to get all this off my chest.
[Discussion] Hair breakage and long term calorie deficit
/u/Sweetparamour2 [171cm | 56kg | 19bmi | 3kg | Female]
Created: Mon Jan 29 23:24:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tz32m/hair_breakage_and_long_term_calorie_deficit/
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Hey guys.
I have had an ed for 10 years and recently have declined again. I am still a healthy weight but am dropping fast. My hair is prone to breaking alot ATM and I have changed my routine, does anyone else experience this?
[Help] Restricting while traveling with friends?
/u/fatterfly [5'4" | 150 lolfml | 25.6 | -6 | 24F | RELAPSE HELLO!]
Created: Mon Jan 29 23:21:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tz2jw/restricting_while_traveling_with_friends/
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So I'm in a reeeaal pickle guys. You know when you make plans when you're in a good/social mood but then the day comes and you're like "fuck what did I get myself into??"?
Yeah, so my two best friends are flying in within a couple weeks and then we're all going on a roadtrip together for two whole weeks. We've been planning this for months and we all took time off work especially to be together. I'm so excited to see them because we all live in different places and I think the trip is gonna be amazing. HOWEVER, I don't want to fucking eat!! Especially not cheap high-cal on-the-road food! I thought about telling them that I'm dieting (which is an acceptable excuse considering how fat I got) but saying that will only make them more aware of what I eat/don't eat. They definitely don't know that I'm relapsing right now and they never even knew for sure that I had an ED before, they just suspected it.
I really wanna enjoy my time on this trip and I will god damn it but I'm just so anxious about being with them 24/7 and having to eat. Any advice? :(
[Help] I am struggling and no one is helping me,
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Mon Jan 29 23:07:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tz06v/i_am_struggling_and_no_one_is_helping_me/
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I have called out for help so many times this past week. My mom canāt help, my friends think I am doing it for attention. You guys are the only ones who helped.
You guys I donāt know what to do. This needs to end. I am seriously scared. My mental health has spiraled so much in the past 2 weeks. My eating and sleep schedule is screwed. I donāt know how much longer I can hold on.
āEveryone is fat at the tableā
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Mon Jan 29 22:20:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tyree/everyone_is_fat_at_the_table/
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[removed]
[Discussion] avg. American spends 1:40 making food/eating a day or 6 days a year
/u/emaxiii
Created: Mon Jan 29 22:20:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tyrbq/avg_american_spends_140_making_foodeating_a_day/
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http://www.foodnetwork.com/fn-dish/news/2015/07/guess-how-much-time-you-spend-eating-on-an-average-day
[Discussion] Is spray butter really zero calories?
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 22:16:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tyqpq/is_spray_butter_really_zero_calories/
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I bought āI canāt believe itās not butterā spray and on the label is says 0 calories per spray. On MyFitnessPal it says 10 sprays is 12.5 calories, which honestly still seems low. Iām probably overthinking the spray butter but I love butter!!! If this is truly that low cal it will open up doors for me I never knew existed!!! Okay slight exaggeration but I love butter, somebody please give me info lol
[Rant/Rave] I just binged and want crawl in bed forever
/u/salt_skin [5'4" | CW: disgusting | F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 21:53:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tylxp/i_just_binged_and_want_crawl_in_bed_forever/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Rant thread
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 66.6 lbs | 12.6 | 12.4 lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Jan 29 21:44:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tykbq/rant_thread/
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Ugh my dad just said Iām prettier than when I was 67 lbs and I get that he was trying to be nice but I hate when people point out that I look different and also itās not about being pretty itās about being thin
Whatās bugging you rn?
[Other] I wrote two poems about my ED
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 66.6 lbs | 12.6 | 12.4 lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Jan 29 21:21:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tyfsn/i_wrote_two_poems_about_my_ed/
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TRIGGER WARNING - THESE ARE NOT POEMS THAT WILL BE HELPFUL TO ANYONE CONSIDERING RECOVERY
They are bad, but I wanted to share.
The first is about people trying to make me recover:
>She approached me,
>bringing beauty and pain.
>Yet now I can see,
>I am tragically vain.
> Still how can you win,
> without self-esteem?
>Nothing but skin,
>and my eyes will gleam.
>Everyone is a thief,
>they stole my joy.
>Just to trash my belief,
>and treat me like a toy.
>Still she does object,
>screams very loud.
>They squash her like an insect,
>thereās no use being proud.
>Life is but a continuous wall,
>and the holes inside.
>You can make me bawl,
>but you canāt steal my pride.
The second is my thoughts after a binge (now):
*please note that the you in the poem is directed towards myself, and not any of you. In fact all three of the conjugations in the poem are me lol*
>The girl ate,
>and they called her brave,
>put some food on her plate,
>saving herself from an early grave.
>But it was a mistake,
>and so it stung,
>her soul did break,
>and so she hung.
>Figuratively, I mean
>for she was quite alive,
>but no longer lean,
>and didnāt want to survive.
>I wish I could write her a letter,
>and tell her not to eat,
>for her life would be better,
>if she achieved such a feat.
>But I am her,
>and this is what I write,
>starve till you grow fur,
>or stay out of my sight.
Yep!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 29 20:46:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ty8gb/yep/
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https://i.redd.it/x219eidvd3d01.png
[Rant/Rave] EDNOS/OSFED is a special hell
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 199.8 | GW1 199 | UGW 120 | 34.3 | 25 F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 20:42:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ty7m4/ednososfed_is_a_special_hell/
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Sorry about the word vomit. I just don't have anyone or anywhere else to get this out.
It makes you feel like you don't belong anywhere. I've always had that voice in my head telling my I'm fat and how everything would be better if I wasn't, but sometimes it's not as loud. I can go a long time without doing anything to control my weight, but when it gets loud it gets bad quick.
My mind tells me to just not eat. I've obviously eaten MORE than enough for at least two people. Going a day or 10 without food wont kill me. I don't deserve food. Yet, no matter how I try, I can't fast. My blood sugar drops and I feel sick and get headaches. Or I have absolutely zero energy and just want to sleep.
Or I feel the need to purge. This might be the worse for me. I can't purge. Like at all. I tried SO MANY TIMES and failed. Yet my mind still wants me to try it anyway. Doesn't help that I HATE throwing up because it sucks and the risks of purging scare me more than most other ED related things.
Or I eat all the things. Bingeing is the only thing I can do. Yet still feel like I fail at this because I don't eat a lot of things and I've never counted the calories in any of my binges. In general, I just grab high sugar shit and eat until my stomach hurts and I feel sick.
I've tried low restricting, works for a few days. Ends with a binge and I give up because I'm a failure who will always be fat anyway.
I've tried high restricting, with several small meals in a day. I get obsessed with everything I put in my mouth. Which wears me out in about a week, especially when I'm not seeing the results I want. So I stop counting then eat all the things I didn't let myself eat while restricting.
I'm currently trying one meal a day. I log the cals, but don't try to keep them low. As long as I'm under my goal (MFP has me at 1820, but under 1200 is my personal goal) I count it as good. On the days where I only eat the once, I'm mostly fine. But if I eat again, I'm a failure and why shouldn't I keep eating? I'll never be skinny anyway!
I don't fit into any of the "real" ED categories, I'm fat, can easily pass everything I'm doing now as just trying to get healthy. Sometimes I feel like I'm just trying to force myself into an ED because everything else about me is fucked up so why not? I'll see someone else struggling with similar shit and say they DO have an ED, but I just feel fake.
Plus it's not like anyone would believe me if I said I was struggling with an ED. I've thought about trying to tell my SO about what's going on, but I don't even know how to do that without seeming like i'm making up a problem.
FML
**tl;dr** I'm a fuck up that can't even correctly deal with the basic human function of eating
[Help] Significant others & ED
/u/colonurse11
Created: Mon Jan 29 19:43:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7txuns/significant_others_ed/
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How do you guys deal with your eating disorder with your significant other? Do you ever feel defeated sometimes and feel like you let them down and paranoia regarding all of that? Just curious others experiences with this, approaches, etc. thank you
[Help] Period/choco cravings
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 19:39:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7txtsw/periodchoco_cravings/
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How do u guys deal with chocolate cravings during your period? ššš
[Rant/Rave] I feel like such a failure :(
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 107.8 | -30.2 | F | G: 99]
Created: Mon Jan 29 19:30:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7txrpg/i_feel_like_such_a_failure/
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My bff from hs guy friend told me that he's engaged. He and an ex boy friend purchased an apartment and condo (respectively) this year.
I was good friends with a guy last year but he stopped being my friend on the last day of 2017. I actually started to develop feelings for him...
I thought I made a new friend this year, but he was so intense and thought that we were dating. I bumped into him during lunch, he was on a date with someone.
I cannot stand my job and am looking for other opportunities, but I failed at this job so... .
I just feel like everyones life is moving forward and I'm just here... chilling with a puppy that the guy I liked helped me pick out. I really like my dog though.
I just realized that I haven't eaten all day and I'm not even hungry. I guess the only thing I can achieve (somewhat) is being pretty and skinny... but I'm also old - I'm in my mid 30's my looks are fading. I can't even be pretty anymore :(
I'm just feeling so down. I can't get anything right and I'm not smart/sexy/clever enough to get where I want to be.
Thanks for listening.
[Help] I think I have an eating disorder.
/u/Adog311 [5'10" | 112 lbs | 15.67 | 45lbs | M]
Created: Mon Jan 29 19:07:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7txmm6/i_think_i_have_an_eating_disorder/
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I think it's time I came to terms with it. I've been in denial I guess for a very long time, but seeing myself as a fat slob despite the numbers saying I'm underweight isn't really debatable anymore. I've been trying to restrict less recently, as I was doing about 500 kcal/week for a while, but it's really hard. I just don't know what to do.
[Rant/Rave] I accidentally purged one night, now I know I can do it and want to keep doing it.
/u/Floatawayinlove
Created: Mon Jan 29 18:54:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7txjox/i_accidentally_purged_one_night_now_i_know_i_can/
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I was brushing my teeth one night and went too far back and it made me puke. To be fair, I was already sick, but it's like something clicked in my head. Like "oh, THIS is how you make yourself puke!" I've since done it maybe 3 or 4 times. Always under the guise of actually being sick.
I'm so conflicted. I don't want to lie about being sick so I can purge. I don't even want to purge, knowing the complications that come with it.
But at the same time it's like...I can literally have my cake and eat it too. I love to eat, and yet I love to be empty. Purging lets me have both, and even better/worse, it's so fucking easy. Because of a childhood condition I had, throwing up just doesn't bother me like it does some people.
I don't know if I'm looking for advice or understanding or what. I just needed to vent.
[Rant/Rave] Iāve had about 2000 calories today...
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Mon Jan 29 18:52:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7txj4w/ive_had_about_2000_calories_today/
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and I want to die!!! My stomach feels like itās going to burst. I binged with 700 calories and my mom came in right as I was about to purge. I was being monitored so I couldnāt do anything. Now itās dinner and they made some kind of ramen. And I had to eat.
My throat is at its limit and Iām pretty sure Iāve scratched it or caused something to bleed. But i really want to get this sensation off of my stomach. Iām trying to reason with myself and remember that 2000 calories is what i need to be consuming so I can maintain. Iām going to sleep through this so I can wake up tomorrow and do some abs, swim an hour and hopefully run a bit. Guys I just feel like crap and trying to convince myself that today isnāt as bad I think it is.
[Rant/Rave] Recovery and existence is already difficult and people make it worst.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jan 29 18:40:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7txgic/recovery_and_existence_is_already_difficult_and/
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On mobile flair as rant rave please.
So I am owning that I lurk r/fatlogic and obviously that is my choice I don't feel triggered by the content but I am bothered by some ideas going on.
I have attempted recovery in the past and eventually do want to have a good relationship with food but the state of thing a makes it difficult.
Fat Acceptance Soiled recovery language and lingo!
I heard fat acceptance people use words I heard in treatment and in recovery before I did so it's hard to dissociate recovery from just getting fat and being a "real person".
Intuitive eating- eating when you are hungry and stopping when your body says so, FA made it into justifying eating garbage and lots of it, pretty much binging.
Shaming for anyone who isn't bigger and being critical of anyone who tries to moderate their eating.
I had more I guess I just hate how this movement has made it hard to have am ED as if it wasn't hard enough. If FA is the future for me I would rather be dead than fat and accepting it.
[Discussion] DAE Binge Just To Hate Themselves More?
/u/voldemortshorts
Created: Mon Jan 29 18:24:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7txczb/dae_binge_just_to_hate_themselves_more/
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Hey guys, so I have been doing really well these past 2 week. I lose an impressive amount of weight,but today something really shitty happened and like the idiot that I am I binged. I wasn't even hungry, it was more of an angry- i- want- to-hate-myself-more binge, cause something shitty happened. I eat 2,677 calories and i am 877 calories over my maintanace. I know this may not seem like a lot to you guys, but i am in so much pain. I used to binge a lot before. I gained 22 lbs from the mid November to early January binges. Luckily I lost 8 of those lbs, but I at least gained half a pound from today. Shit I cant keep doing this anymore. And the saddest thing ever is that I didnt even binge on cake, or peanut butter. I binged on chicken strips, black beans, plain hummus, wassa crackers, salsa,almond silk milk, chai tea mix,but i did eat 7 oreos, so there's that at least. Too long, sorry, but does anyone bode else binge on food like rice, vegetables, yogurts instead of the more traditional fast food items and staples like peanut butter and pastries? And do you guys binge cause you like the food or you love the self hatred you experience after?
~Love you guys n stay safe~
[Discussion] Is anyone else incurable?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Mon Jan 29 18:18:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7txbn6/is_anyone_else_incurable/
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I have been in therapy for five years.
I have been inpatient.
I have been outpatient.
I have been on and off antidepressants and sedatives.
I have moved schools.
I have quit school.
I've started again.
I've switched therapists and therapies.
I've done everything.
*Everything*
And yet.
I still weigh the same as I did when I was eleven years old. I still throw up everything I eat, whether it's a box of raisins or a fridge-gutting binge.
I have been to the hospital six times in the last year.
I see a doctor every month, who monitors my electrolytes, prescribed me pills. Every time, he asks if i'm doing better. Every time I tell him nothing has changed.
The psych at my first hospital told my parents I'd likely never recover.
I guess she was right.
Because no matter how much I try, I can't shake the desire encoded in my bones to be broken.
[Discussion] Fake boobs?
/u/iceboxxxxx [5'5.75" | CW: 125 | GW: 113 | 20.4]
Created: Mon Jan 29 18:12:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7txab6/fake_boobs/
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[removed]
[Intro] Starting to catch up to me...
/u/LivinglnYourShadow [5'9.5" | 131lbs | 19.1 | -12lbs | M]
Created: Mon Jan 29 17:31:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tx0ps/starting_to_catch_up_to_me/
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Hey everyone, long-time lurker here. I've had on and off (mostly off) disordered eating for the last 4 years, but it especially ramped up within the last ~6 months. I don't restrict very heavily, I usually just eat 1 meal each day late at night that's around 800-1400 calories.
Today one of my roommates and close friends asked if I was hungry around 5pm and I told him no, especially since I had a whopping *second* meal last night. He got a bit more serious than I'm used to hearing him and told me that talking about eating two meals as if that's a ton a food isn't normal and asked if I had an eating disorder. He said part of the reason he asked is because he's taking a class about abnormal psychology which focused on eating disorders today and said that it strongly reminded him of me. Of course I said I don't have an ED, but I'm terrible at lying. But he already knows something's up. It's only a matter of time before he knows for a fact I'm lying.
I just don't know. Isn't this kind of what I wanted? Part of me always wanted people to notice. I'm one of those people who use their eating habits as a coping mechanism for a lot of other problems I'm too afraid to ask for help with. Suddenly the first time someone notices isn't as rewarding or validating as I thought it would be. I just feel more afraid and more guilty.
I guess today's just gonna be a fasting day.
[Discussion] 30 Stone and counting
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 17:12:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7twvyb/30_stone_and_counting/
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[removed]
[Tip] Heartburn
/u/lanadelrayban
Created: Mon Jan 29 16:46:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7twper/heartburn/
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DAE get terrible heartburn after purging? For me it really depends on what I eat and how long it sits before I can purge. Do you guys just deal with it or take tums or what?
[Help] Recovery advice please- I'm attempting healthy weight loss, and worried I can't stop
/u/shadowmachines
Created: Mon Jan 29 16:36:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7twmv3/recovery_advice_please_im_attempting_healthy/
---
I'm trying to recover, which for me means still letting myself lose weight, but doing it slow and healthy. I've been eating pretty consistently at a 300 cal deficit for about 5 months now, and have *very* slowly managed to lose 15 lbs. I am very pleased with how moderate I've been. I haven't starved myself, and even though I had a few binges, I didn't punish myself by fasting or exercise purging afterwards.
I'm 5'4" and currently 123 lbs. I run about 40 miles per week, and I rock climb, so I have alot of muscle mass. I am pretty lean at this point. My friends have said it's time to stop. My husband has said it's time to stop. My therapist has said it's time to stop.
I got here faster than I realized. I'm not ready to stop. I realize that getting thinner isn't going to fix the problems in my life, but I don't feel like I'm being unhealthy right now, and I just want to lose a bit more. My menstrual cycles are regular. I'm not cold all the time, and my energy levels are good. I just want to get rid of that last bit of cellulite, and in ~5ish more pounds I think I might be a size 2.
I am also 100% aware that I have no idea when to stop. In my mind, getting to a size 2 would be more than enough to make me happy, but a few months ago I would have thought that my current size would make me happy. I thought when I got to this point it would become clear to me, but it's not. I have no idea. I feel like I have to do something now, pick an arbitrary destination. I never had a goal weight, but maybe I should. Maybe there has to be a finish line that I promise myself I will stop no matter what.
I just feel like it's becoming apparent to me that I am less recovered than I thought I was. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone attempted recovery while also attempting moderate and healthy weight loss?
I don't know what to do. Please help.
[Other] The guy I went out on a date with said I look like I'm 85lbs
/u/ntagasf15685
Created: Mon Jan 29 16:33:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7twm42/the_guy_i_went_out_on_a_date_with_said_i_look/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Life update
/u/Elizawitch [5'3" | Female | CW: 100lbs | GW: 90lbs | UGW: 85lbs]
Created: Mon Jan 29 16:07:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7twfnd/life_update/
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Last night my mother begged me to eat. Begged.
Sheās also allowed me another tattoo as a personal short term goal so I donāt kill myself.
My therapist wants me to take depression medication as a short term so I donāt kms and gave me coping devices for self harm. She also made me ācontract for safetyā.
She wants to focus on my depression before my binge problem which upsets me. Make me stop binging and maybe I wonāt be so suicidal.
I would do anything for a cigarette and bronkaid rn.
[Rant/Rave] People's skewed views of body size
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Mon Jan 29 16:03:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7twerb/peoples_skewed_views_of_body_size/
---
I was browsing Reddit and I noticed that a lot of people comment on how skinny Kate Moss was when she was young and they would give her shit for it. But when it comes to Natalia Dyer, so many people say how pretty she is and how she's naturally skinny. Natalia is far skinnier than Kate was, but people don't seem to see it.
[Discussion] Has anyone tried tabata?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 15:12:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tw1m8/has_anyone_tried_tabata/
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I was reading [this article](https://www.brit.co/burn-300-calories-in-just-9-minutes-with-this-no-equipment-workout/) about tabata this morning and Iām curious if anyone has experience with it. Itās a Japanese HIIT workout that claims to burn ~300 calories in 15 minutes which sounds amazing if thatās true.
[Other] Damn this painting is way to real...
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 60.9 | 20.35/20.11 | GW: 57 | UGW: <55 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 15:02:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tvz93/damn_this_painting_is_way_to_real/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/Art/comments/7tuskc/they_dont_even_taste_that_good_anymore_i_oil_on/
[Discussion] POLL: Are you guys still functional while you restrict?
/u/itzybitzyboo [5'2|CW:131|HW:158|GW:98|19F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 14:34:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tvruu/poll_are_you_guys_still_functional_while_you/
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It feels like even when I'm eating up to maintenance, my mind is impacted by lack of calories. I can't concentrate on anything but food, and I feel like my mind isn't as sharp during my studies. I literally have to be post-binge cycle for my mind to feel 100% functional again. I'm never going to lose weight at this rate.
I don't understand how you guys eat 500-800 Cal/day for extended periods of time and still have a life other than your ED.
Am I the only one like this?
[Intro] Right back where I started
/u/ImNotaTreeImaShrub
Created: Mon Jan 29 14:32:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tvr67/right_back_where_i_started/
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Iāve been lurking a long time and Iāve finally made a second anonymous account to say hi.
Back when I was 20 I developed anorexia/bulimia. I went from 150lbs to about 110lbs over the course of a year and a half before I had outpatient therapy. I then gained all my weight back on and more. The intervening 9 years or so (Iām about to turn 32 so Iām probably one of the oldest here) Iāve yo-yoed up and down in weight. I relapsed for a while when I was 25 and lost all the weight but since then Iāve gained it all back and more. In the last couple of years my mental health has been horrendous.
Iāve occasionally binged and purged when stressed, but then in the past few months Iāve been binging so much. Iāve purged a couple of times but I find it hard to do these days. Maybe Iāve lost the knack?? I canāt exercise as I have chronic fatigue syndrome so Iāve gotten to my highest weight ever. I think Iām about 180lbs. (Iām F, 5ā5) But now once again Iāve been restricting again. Iāve been eating about 600 cals a day, weighing everything.
The thing is Iāve always missed my ED, and it never left me in my head. But now Iām panicking that I wonāt be able to keep the restricting up, that Iām so out of practice and itāll take me so long to lose the weight again as Iāve got so much to lose. What if I give up, or get even fatter? What if the mess Iām on mean I canāt lose weight at all? What if my lack of exercise means I canāt lose weight? Iām going out of my mind here to be honest.
[Discussion] The Magical World of the Underweight
/u/howlowcanigo_45 [5'7|CW 123.6|19.3|GW 115| 23F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 14:26:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tvpj9/the_magical_world_of_the_underweight/
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I know this isn't true of everyone in this subreddit, but a lot of us (myself included) seem to have a goal weight that puts us just under the cutoff of being underweight.
I would love to hear from you lovely people what your reason for your goal weight is. For me it would finally make people concerned and it would give me wiggle room to be okay with eating to gain weight. Sometimes though it seems so arbitrary that some BMI guide tells me when people can be concerned. Not my rapid weight loss or my obsessive food behaviors.
[Help] Struggling with water fast
/u/strugglingadult [5'1" | CW:131 lbs | HW:134 | GW: 110 | UGW:105]
Created: Mon Jan 29 14:21:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tvo6h/struggling_with_water_fast/
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[removed]
[Other] What is Disordered Eating? | Psych in 60
/u/PsychBytes
Created: Mon Jan 29 13:23:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tv8lb/what_is_disordered_eating_psych_in_60/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LW-I6O8lUmw
[Goal] Scheduled my first therapy appointment!
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | -51.4 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 13:14:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tv65h/scheduled_my_first_therapy_appointment/
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I finally worked up the courage to talk to a professional about this. I'm so tired of all the calculating and the never ending feelings of not being good enough. I'm SO sick of the ups and the downs and still being fat after 2 fucking years of this. I hate not eating a normal amount of food, like, ever. I tried to recover on my own and it didn't work so I'm giving therapy a shot. I know this sounds negative and I am so nervous and scared but I'm hopeful that this will help.
[Goal] How weight should I loose ? {1m70, 82 kg}
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 29 13:01:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tv2i6/how_weight_should_i_loose_1m70_82_kg/
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[deleted]
[Tip] THIS is what beauty looks like.
/u/SaltshakerBoi
Created: Mon Jan 29 12:58:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tv1tp/this_is_what_beauty_looks_like/
---
https://imgur.com/wP3SfJz
[Rant/Rave] My BF lost weight and now has a lower BMI than I do. So much for recovery, lol.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 138 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 12:41:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tux7q/my_bf_lost_weight_and_now_has_a_lower_bmi_than_i/
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There is no fucking way I am going to be the bigger one in our relationship. I'm already an inch taller than he is, so being fatter is such a punch in the face. According to today's weigh-in, I have finally lost the excess 4 lbs I gained last month. Now I need to lose at least 9 more lbs. I'm already jealous of my BF for a lot of stuff about his body, and this is more than I can stand.
Fat, Gross Women. THIS is what beauty looks like.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 29 12:39:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tuwmp/fat_gross_women_this_is_what_beauty_looks_like/
---
https://imgur.com/wP3SfJz
[Rant/Rave] My best friend is constantly trying to eat less
/u/elizasbreath [162cm| CW 45.5kg | GW: 40kg | -17kg I 18F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 12:24:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tuscc/my_best_friend_is_constantly_trying_to_eat_less/
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I spoke to my best friend, who I live with, last weekend whilst drunk after noticing that every single time we sit down to have a meal together (which is at least twice a day and not something we can change) she always makes sure to eat less than me.
She knows I have an issue with disordered eating and also took quite a long time to readjust to eating with her again. On Saturday, whilst drunk, she confesses to me that she is so unused to eating more than anyone around her that she has purposefully been eating less than me.
She is an athlete who is already the smallest person I know and makes me feel so unaccomplished and physically shitty about myself. Eating around her makes me feel so fucking self conscious and horrible and I just want to die because it has already been such a crappy weekend and I just want to fucking die :)
[Help] School lunch dilemma
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5' 3" | CW: 98.5 | BMI: 17.4 | GW: 89]
Created: Mon Jan 29 12:19:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tur40/school_lunch_dilemma/
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Sorry if this post is to advice-y, if this isn't allowed I'll delete it right away. I normally don't eat lunch at school. Unfortunately, my school has a system that lets parents check how much lunch money their kids have spent, and my parents checked it a few days ago. So now my parents are understandably insisting me to eat lunch every day. All of my school lunches are greasy and oily, but I dont want to waste my parent's money by just buying it and throwing it away. Should I just suck it up and eat lunch every day?
[Discussion] Wearing corsets to restrict...
/u/broth_4me
Created: Mon Jan 29 12:08:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tuo53/wearing_corsets_to_restrict/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Should I buy a scale??
/u/mina1200
Created: Mon Jan 29 12:03:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tumlk/should_i_buy_a_scale/
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I need help deciding on whether or not to buy a scale. I restrict (around 500 cal a day) for the most part, except for the weekend when I get super wasted and end up eating a bit more than what people would 'normally' eat. whenever i binge (which happens occasionally), i end up purging automatically without even sticking a finger down my throat. For the most part I think I'm doing well when it comes to control. However, I'm conflicted on whether or not to take this up a notch and buy a scale. I haven't weighed myself in 2 years except for ONCE during last summer. I feel like if I do, I'll become more obsessive (which I don't mind as I'm a tiny bit of a perfectionist), but at the same time I'm pretty fine with how I'm doing. I have so many pros and cons for this. What is your experience with scales? And any advice?
[Discussion] DAE obsess over eating slowly??
/u/xlaaane
Created: Mon Jan 29 11:39:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tufzf/dae_obsess_over_eating_slowly/
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sometimes i time myself eating like even if itās something small and iām eating by myself, iāll try to drag it out over 20 minutes. when iām eating with other people i HAVE to be the last one to finish my food or iāll lose it lol. like i have a friend who eats soooo slowly & talks so much and i just want to like force feed her so she finishes her food faster. like i know sheās not doing anything wrong but i get irrationally angry about it. anyone else like this?
[Rant/Rave] Sad about my progress cuz of water weight
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 132.5 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.7 | F21]
Created: Mon Jan 29 11:33:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tueee/sad_about_my_progress_cuz_of_water_weight/
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[removed]
[Tip] When even the thought of food becomes stressful there's always alcohol
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 60.9 | 20.35/20.11 | GW: 57 | UGW: <55 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 11:32:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tue5t/when_even_the_thought_of_food_becomes_stressful/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I got out of bed...only to sit in front of the mirror
/u/InterestingPiano
Created: Mon Jan 29 11:27:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tucrd/i_got_out_of_bedonly_to_sit_in_front_of_the_mirror/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] (TMI) Broke my 5 day fast today but it's okay...
/u/sharkmaid420 [5'2 | 101 | 18.25 |19F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 10:46:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tu1i3/tmi_broke_my_5_day_fast_today_but_its_okay/
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Because I POOPED!! I'd forgotten how good it felt omg, it had been so long! It was supposed to be a 7 day fast so I do feel guilty but oh boy had I missed this simple pleasure. I'll just tell myself one day of higher caloric intake will be good for my metabolism... Sorry had to share and you lovelies are the only ones that understand.
[Help] Struggling with recovery. Could use some advice.
/u/_skellies
Created: Mon Jan 29 10:21:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ttukh/struggling_with_recovery_could_use_some_advice/
---
I've been "in recovery" for about 4 years. I put it in quotation marks because while I'm truly trying, the reality is that my ED transformed from anorexia to a binge/purging thing. There are spans of time that I don't do it but, for the most part, I do.
I haven't figured out how to have a healthy relationship with eating. If I diet, it's all or nothing. If I exercise, I'm going to push myself until I'm nearly unconscious (thats an exxageration but i am super hard on my body when i exercise). I need to find some balance between "dieting"/eating healthy and, ya know, not pushing it to the extreme. I haven't been able to do that.
Any advice you have would be awesome.
Yooo
/u/chrissle_ [176cm|hw:106kg|cw:75kg|gw:53kg|F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 09:54:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ttna3/yooo/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Almost normal
/u/DangerousEngineer
Created: Mon Jan 29 08:40:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tt3s6/almost_normal/
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Well I'm back, after binging for a year I gained insane amounts of weight, like I am 150% of what I used to be. Let's just preface I want to keep the details minimal as people have found my account before. Although I'd like to rave about the amazing people in my life that helped me get back to a normal person without them even knowing.
Currently I am on a healthy 1200 kcal diet (I'm small it's pretty standard to lose weight at my height) and in the gym about 4-7 times a week. Depends on how busy I am. It's just that I found my low kcal meals again and plan my meals out, clocking in at 800-1000 kcal before I add random snacks to up the count, I keep on thinking that I could just not eat that much. Lose weight faster, prepare for eating out or with with friends, it would be so amazing to just eat less.. Also what if I reach my healthy GW after months (I'm not even overweight, just close to it, but losing takes ages), and I don't know how to maintain? Or if even though I actually have an active life style I still feel way too (skinny)fat?
It's just I don't want to fall back into unhealthy behavior, but at the same time I really do, but I can't do so without letting myself down and people I love dearly. Not become that boring, obsessed, stressed by everything food and scary looking person again. Like seriously I look back at me and while I used to love how I looked it's just freakish now. I want to be that #fitgirl, get stronger and the guys to compliment my bf on what he got.
Argh I just dunno, my urges just don't align with my wants in life.
[Help] Hurt myself, I dont know what to do
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 115 | F | š½]
Created: Mon Jan 29 07:09:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tsirl/hurt_myself_i_dont_know_what_to_do/
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So I dislocated/sorta broke my elbow and it could take up to 8 weeks to heal. I'm so upset that I can't work out, I use fitness to manage my mental health and now I can't lift, run, or do yoga. I'm worried I will lose so much progress and get very depressed. ): I'm also torn between "eat less because you can't work out" and "eat enough to recover from your injury." I DO NOT know how to proceed, at all.
If anyone has some advice, commiseration, or kind words, it would be very appreciated.
[Other] EAT: the Revolution - a creepy little mobile game to play when you feel like binging
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 130-ish | š at FatGoblin]
Created: Mon Jan 29 06:38:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tscbm/eat_the_revolution_a_creepy_little_mobile_game_to/
---
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/eat-the-revolution/id1316669815?mt=8
[Intro] 4 months ago I asked to be banned so I could attempt recovery. Didn't happen, hi, I'm back
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 130-ish | š at FatGoblin]
Created: Mon Jan 29 06:01:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ts514/4_months_ago_i_asked_to_be_banned_so_i_could/
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I've been lurking here a lot lately, so I figured I might as well start posting again.
I am full of shame and regret, so instead of writing an honest story I'm going to sum up my 'recovery' experience in several witty points.
The good things:
ā¢ I am now capable of thinking about things other than food
ā¢ No longer 'could-eat-a-shoe' hungry all of the time
ā¢ I have energy to do things
ā¢ Am warm
The bad things:
ā¢ My biggest record for not binging/purging was about 3 weeks
ā¢ I gained what feels like a ton
ā¢ I never really stopped obsessing about my weight and calories
ā¢ I'm now literally the same weight I was when I first developed my ED behaviors
ā¢ I feel like a huge failure
Currently I'm trying to stay under 900 calories per day and fast on fridays. It works wonderfully. I fucking hate it.
[Help] Purged Blood for the 1st Time :(
/u/ballerina239
Created: Mon Jan 29 05:54:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ts3oa/purged_blood_for_the_1st_time/
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I stopped immediately and Drank Water.... what else can I do to heal my throat!?!
What happened:
I ate a burger then immediately tried to purge it like 10 mins later. This is probably the earliest purge Iāve ever done (time frame)
I put ketchup on it , (2 packets) But
I canāt help but think that the red stuff was blood :( Iāve never seen something bright red in my purge before, like wouldnāt ketchup be more mixed up ... unless I just didnāt chew well.... BUT also my throat hurts/sore so I am so FREAKED OUT RIGHT NOW.
I DONT WANT TO DIE
I had been purging all week. small meals. I usually donāt do it this often but I wasnāt seeing progress
I usually just do it twice a month
But have been taking vitamins
I AM DONE
[Discussion] January 29th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 05:30:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7trz24/january_29th_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
What was the last TV show you watched?
Martha bakes lmao
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! January 29, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 29 05:14:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7trwam/weekly_stats_update_january_29_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for January 29, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 29, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 29 05:14:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7trw9t/daily_food_diary_january_29_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 29, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Goal] Planning rewards/incentives for when you reach a goal
/u/skinnyinscrubs [5'5'' | CW: 119 | BMI: 19.5 | GW1: 112 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 05:05:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7trunz/planning_rewardsincentives_for_when_you_reach_a/
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Does anyone else have a little list of rewards to treat yourself after hitting a goal? At the minute Iām torn between either a super nice jacket or a new piercing once I lose 5 more pounds.
Plus I just think of it as using the money Iād have spent on food, or takeaways or Starbucks :)
[Discussion] DAE eat in the morning and evening but never thought the day?
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 115 | GW1: 110 | LW 90]
Created: Mon Jan 29 04:16:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7trmrs/dae_eat_in_the_morning_and_evening_but_never/
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I'm mostly prone to binging in the evening and would rather save calories for then, I've tried IF by putting off breakfast but I'd rather just get eating out of the way and then not think about it again, plus a decent breakfast makes me feel normal during the day. Anyone else skip lunch?
[Rant/Rave] Unusually low weight in a blue moon??
/u/booberryapocalypse
Created: Mon Jan 29 02:58:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7trazb/unusually_low_weight_in_a_blue_moon/
---
So like 5 days ago I weighed in at 141 (Iām 5ā6 with no computer so I canāt create my flair). I was so excited to almost be out of the 140s, something that hasnāt happened since high school (Iām 22). But every single weigh in since then has been 145-147.
I had a couple binges over the weekend, but they were spread out and maxed out at 6000 cal total (over four days, this plus previous restricting, I physically canāt have gained 4-6 real pounds of fat permanently). Is this all just water weight? I asked a while back about temporary gain, and you mentioned I might get my period soon. After counting up my last cycle, my next flow comes in 7 days. So maybe itās that.
Thank you so much for listening, Iām lowkey freaking out and donāt know what to do about it haha. I just wanna see 139 so badly it makes me cry. Currently soaking in Epsom salts at 5 am bc I couldnāt sleep, maybe some weight will sweat off.
[Goal] At my husbands friends place
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 02:08:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tr3ua/at_my_husbands_friends_place/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Any other "recovered" people miss their disorder?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 29 01:34:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tqz4r/any_other_recovered_people_miss_their_disorder/
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[deleted]
[Goal] Is bmi 16 really that low?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 29 01:15:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tqwir/is_bmi_16_really_that_low/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Missing school
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Mon Jan 29 01:01:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tquly/missing_school/
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How often do y'all miss school for ED stuff? anything from mood, to lax that won't stop, to simply being too damn weak?
I have not stopped shaking all night. I'm too dizzy to keep track of my own feet. I keep having hot flashes and i just feel awful and I know it's because I haven't kept down a single bite of food all day and i don't think I'll be better in the morning.
I feel awful, and i feel awful for feeling awful.
i don't know what i'm doing. i guess i'm just here to rant/beg for help coping/commiserate
[Discussion] Anyone tried Kibun "Healthy Noodles"?
/u/_1a2b3c_ [5'8.5"| CW: 194ish lbs | BMI: 27.84 | Weight Lost: 16 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 29 01:00:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tquej/anyone_tried_kibun_healthy_noodles/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "Eat Like You Love Yourself"
/u/AnaTroi [5'9" | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 23:35:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tqh4t/eat_like_you_love_yourself/
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[removed]
[Other] Fun fact!!!
/u/daedric_hooker
Created: Sun Jan 28 23:05:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tqbz9/fun_fact/
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[removed]
[Help] Diagnosed with POTS, any advice?
/u/Mrs-Schrute [Gross AF]
Created: Sun Jan 28 22:44:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tq85f/diagnosed_with_pots_any_advice/
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So to start off, I know that I should probably focus more on recovery in light of this diagnosis but itās not that easy.
Does anyone with POTS or dysautonomia have any advice on managing your condition and your ED? This is a new diagnosis but Iāve been having symptoms for years. I guess I mostly need advice on how to be safer with my ED now and how to help myself feel better with POTS.
Also does anyone know where to get some good compression pants? Thanks for reading.
[Tip] THIS WORKS
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 28 22:34:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tq67t/this_works/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtanFmqL8vs
[Rant/Rave] Wanting to be skinny and wanting to be a good student
/u/iamhypertonic
Created: Sun Jan 28 22:26:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tq4sa/wanting_to_be_skinny_and_wanting_to_be_a_good/
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The title's pretty self-explanatory. I want to be skinny but I also want to do well in school. The two seem mutually exclusive, tbh. Day after day I sacrifice my restriction plans in fear that if I restrict too heavily, I won't perform as well in school. But then I look at myself in the mirror at the end of the day and all I am filled with is self-loathing. I am so fucking fat but unless I sacrifice my grades, that won't change any time soon. And now it's become a habit to use school/studying as an excuse for all of my overeating
(mobile, can't flair but I guess this is a rant)
I lack control and hate myself. (Trigger warning: brief mention of self harm)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jan 28 22:26:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tq4po/i_lack_control_and_hate_myself_trigger_warning/
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On mobile flair as rant rave.
I was doing so good. According to Google fit I've burned like 3000 calories today just existing and walking a ton and yet I feel like a failure cause I was fasting and no I have consumed 200 to 300 calories. I got super busy at work and ate a couple orphan fries and I had some veggies and did the weights and rounded up and I'm at least in for 300 which feels like too much cause I was fasting.
I'm also poor so I am looking for an excuse to walk home, the 6 mile trek and save 3 bucks I would have spent on the bus..my head is fucked up. I successfully restricted low and probably won't gain from the tiny bits I had but I have a lot of anxiety. I tried to purge it and it's too late. The damage is done.
I feel like I failure and also the self harm urges are really strong last night was really triggering for my anxiety so I hurt myself..
Willow.
Purged for the first time in a year and a half
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 28 22:16:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tq2x9/purged_for_the_first_time_in_a_year_and_a_half/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] DAE follow Omad to help with binging?
/u/spiralswirll [5'8" | CW:146 | GW: 125 |Fš¬]
Created: Sun Jan 28 22:03:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tq09v/dae_follow_omad_to_help_with_binging/
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Hi! Iāve been lurking this sub for awhile but was afraid to post on my main account, but Iām struggling a lot right now I kind of needed to rant, I hope thatās ok. Iāve been following Omad (one meal a day) very strictly for the last 10 days and itās made me feel great. I typically have about 1000 calories in my meal and then just drink lots of water for the rest of the day. Itās helped a lot with curbing cravings and binging (my biggest struggle). Except tonight I ābroke fastā and had half a sandwich and some chips... Iām so mad at myself because I was doing really well and now Iām afraid Iāve ruined all progress and wonāt be able to stick with it. I know realistically half a sandwich/chips isnāt a lot of food and wonāt make too bad of a dent with my calorie intake for today but now my body isnāt in āfasting modeā and idk I just feel so upset with myself and of course my solution is to fast all day tomorrow to make up for it. I hope this is an ok thing to post about here, you all are very supportive to each other and I needed to rant somewhere with people who understand.
[Discussion] ED friends in real life
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 28 21:52:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tpy98/ed_friends_in_real_life/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] 2 lbs away from a major goal weight. Ate at maintenance the 2 days since. Somehow it feels like binging.
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Sun Jan 28 20:58:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tpnq0/2_lbs_away_from_a_major_goal_weight_ate_at/
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Realistically, I know I wonāt gain weight. But eating even at 1,200-1,500 feels like a binge. I told myself Iād ease up on my rules for myself when I got this low (only 2 lbs from a goal weight and 7 lbs from my for-now UGW). But now all I can think about is getting lower.
Fasting tomorrow to counteract these two maintenance days and taking lax. It makes me sad that I canāt even let myself have ābreakā days when theyāre not even binges. But I feel like I have to keep going.
Massages during starvation mode
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 28 20:16:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tpfdn/massages_during_starvation_mode/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tpfdn/massages_during_starvation_mode/
[Rant/Rave] I got triggered but I liked it?
/u/somewhatsub [5'1" | CW 132 | BMI 25.1 | GW 100 | HW 142]
Created: Sun Jan 28 20:02:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tpcig/i_got_triggered_but_i_liked_it/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Dressing to Minimize Concern
/u/Wisdomtoothinquiry
Created: Sun Jan 28 19:56:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tpba7/dressing_to_minimize_concern/
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I don't know if this is allowed since it may be considered a tip but I don't know where else to turn. I went to my parents for dinner tonight and they both agreed that I'm looking too thin. I'm really not and I'm about ten pounds from my goal and where I hope to start maintaining. As a consequence, I binged so hard to show them I'm eating well and now I'm in terrible pain and can barely move. Anyway, that's not the point.
How do you dress to hide your weight loss? I'm thinking jeans might be a good choice since they're super unflattering on me. I'm not sure about tops, though. Before long, it will be spring and sweatshirts won't be an option any more. I just hate to see them worry and I get so anxious when people comment on my weight/size.
[Rant/Rave] I told him I have an ED
/u/bonitahermosura
Created: Sun Jan 28 19:51:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tpa7q/i_told_him_i_have_an_ed/
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(Iām on mobile flair as rant/rave)
I went on a date with a guy Iāve known for a bit today and of course in the typical tradition of dates, we went out to eat together to a burger joint (as you can imagine I was already freaking out) Things were going so well until he jokingly called me ābigā after I had finished most of the fries we had ordered to share between us.
Things started spiraling after that, I kind of became distant and almost zoned out for the rest of the date because I could stop thinking about how much space I was taking up. I eventually went into the restroom right before we left and just threw everything right back up and felt like such a disgusting mess. It was supposed to be a nice day and the ābigā comment was just meant to be joke but of course I had to take it to heart.
I came back out of the bathroom and went to a local store to buy a pack of gum to mask the throw up breath and we went about our date. Later on he made another joke about my weight and I just lost it. I kept bringing it up and holding him accountable for it and I felt absolutely terrible I wanted to just bawl my eyes out and tell him what was going on.
Later once I had gotten home I decided to text him to tell him what was going on. I told him about everything, how sometimes I throw up after eating, how I panic if I donāt know how many calories Iām eating, about how I starve myself for days just so I can eat when I go out with him and he told me that he understood all of it. But itās bittersweet, on one hand Iām thankful that the first person Iāve ever told is not ashamed of me but on the other hand his complete acceptance makes me feel odd.
This is a disorder, an illness, that is seen as so taboo and shameful yet heās almost applauding me for it? He told me things like āno wonder youāre so fitā and he thinks itās a good thing because he sees it as being ācareful and smartā I canāt tell if Iām happy or sad because I expected more concern? Am I really that fucked up that I want people to worry about me and want to help me? I feel like this acceptance is only going to make my behaviors become more disordered and that scares me. Yet I cannot stop doing everything that I do. I feel so sad and itās bugging me that I can never be happy, this stupid disorder is all I think about.
(Edit: I just weighed myself and Iāve lost almost 4 pounds this week Iām soooo fucking happy at least something good came out of today)
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend comments
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 28 19:46:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tp961/boyfriend_comments/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tp961/boyfriend_comments/
[Rant/Rave] Can I just rant for a minute?
/u/candystarfish
Created: Sun Jan 28 19:29:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tp5q7/can_i_just_rant_for_a_minute/
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Ok, I love everyone here and I feel like you guys will be the only ones to understand what I'm going through so here goes (maybe TW?):
I went into recovery. It fucking sucks. I'm fat and gross and doing everything I can to get rid of the weight from becoming "weight restored." So like what is that about? I stopped taking all my meds and started restricting again because I want it back. Who does this? I'm "normal" again and all I can think about is getting back down to my low weight because life was so great when I was having panic attacks in my closet about how my pants didn't fit the way I wanted and how I had to thinner. Always fucking thinner, no matter how thin, it's never enough. Who cares about the health problems it caused, I need to be a size 0. Why, if I'm "cured" or w/e do I ache for my disorder to return?
A guy I'm working with is on a diet, talking about going to the gym, etc. He knows I have an ed but I don't think he actually understands, so he doesn't know how triggering this is. He wants advice, I give it, i love it. He has an unhealthy goal weight, so do I. I don't want him to get sick, I keep telling him to eat enough, take rest days, etc. But me? I'm on a 3 day fast because he can't beat me. He can't lose more weight than me, that's unacceptable. Idek what the fuck I'm doing. "Dieting" is all I have left in my life. Why am I like this?
If you read this far, I thank you. I think this is just a brain dump documenting my descent into madness. So, how's everyone else doing? š
[Other] Successfully prevented a binge today
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 132.5 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 22.7 | F21]
Created: Sun Jan 28 19:26:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tp52t/successfully_prevented_a_binge_today/
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So I came home around 7:00 pm feeling kinda faint after barely eating all day. I had a reasonable bowl of soup, which then opened up the flood gates of hunger, and I thought "this is it, I'm gonna binge and ruin everything :/" But then I popped a big bowl of dry, salted popcorn, and started eating, only to find my mouth started feeling dry and I was sick of it halfway through. I only ended up eating an extra 140 calories, and I was just so happy I didn't screw up my day. Hopefully this means my self control is getting better.
[Help] Dress sizing anxiety
/u/throwaway002300 [25F | 5ā3 | CW 102 | BMI 18 | GW ???]
Created: Sun Jan 28 19:20:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tp3u6/dress_sizing_anxiety/
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My sister in law is getting married in September of this year. Sheās asked me to be a part of the bridal party and has chosen bridesmaid dresses (which are fortunately really nicely designed). The unfortunate part of this is that not only are they only offered online but Iām also absolutely terrified of buying the dress because my weight fluctuates by insane amounts. Itās almost February, who knows what Iāll weigh in September??!! And who knows what the dress is going to fit like when it arrives?? Iām thinking I should buy it a couple sizes too large and have it taken up soon before the date, but I donāt know. Please helpš
[Rant/Rave] I want to kms
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Sun Jan 28 18:19:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7toqu0/i_want_to_kms/
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Iāve eaten 3,000+ calories the last 3 days. This happens pretty much every weekend. (Heavily restrict all week, then binge) The habit is eating ungodly amounts of food and not counting the calories. I feel absolutely horrid at this point. Bloated, body image is shit. Itās never been my thing to purge afterwards because then Iāll feel even worse. If you have any advice/ can relate it would be semi helpful. Thatās horrible to say but I feel like I have hit rock bottom and I canāt stop.
[Rant/Rave] Being "pretty for a fat girl"
/u/throwaway929293003
Created: Sun Jan 28 18:14:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7topve/being_pretty_for_a_fat_girl/
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This is just going to be word vomit.
I was always fat my whole life, and in 7th grade I did something about it. I started to eat only 500-800 calories a day, and skipping lunch and saving up the money. I was finally told I was beautiful, not "you'd be beautiful if.." not "you'd be beautiful but..." I was finally beautiful.
I gained it all back and then some in 8th grade, back to being "you'd be pretty if you weren't fat" and "men don't like fat girls" and these comments were coming from my parents. Neither of them are in shape but they always reminded me I was fat. 9th-11th grade I was sick of it and started to purge, I didn't lose any weight but it made me feel happy and gave me a placebo effect. Then I came back one semester, my depression was at an all time low so I was eating one meal, if that. People commented on my weight lost, I didn't (and still don't) see it, but I didn't want to tell them the real reason why I lost weight was because I haven't ate a full meal in over 3 months. I went on a diet last year and I didn't lose anything, now that I'm not even trying I lose weight? Cool.
So, I'm pretty for a fat girl. I get told "you're beautiful but we can't date because you're fat and my friends will make fun of me" the "you're not fat you're thick" lies I get told. I have hookups, but those are just hookups. I think I'm unloveable because of how I look. Whenever I say I'm ugly people say "you have pretty eyes and nice skin!!". Why does it matter when I'm ugly? Why can't I be beautiful. Why can't I be the girl someone stops at and thinks "damn, she's gorgeous". You know how it feels to get a "but you have beautiful eyes, and perfect skin!!" response when you say you're ugly?
I hate that I let my eating disorder thoughts control me for 7 years. I was looking at my old pictures of me, I was so beautiful but yet I thought I needed to lose more weight. I refused to have my pictures took because I felt fat. We went on a trip to Florida, and I'm only in a few of them. I wish I could meet me, 13 year old me, and tell her she's beautiful.
[Help] Help me please
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:120lbs | GW: 112lbs | -19 lbs | F20]
Created: Sun Jan 28 18:05:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tont8/help_me_please/
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hi guys, it's been a while since I have posted. I just was wondering if you guys could help ease my misery by telling me if and what you binged this weekend. I am falling apart panicking thinking I gained 10 pounds. Haven't even weighed myself yet which is atypical for me. I know the "damage" that I did cant be that bad at all but I am just a walking anxiety attack.
Please, if you guys could tell me if you binged and what you ate, I think that would really help me.
Oh yeah, and fuck eating disorders and the way they ruin my daily life
[Rant/Rave] It wouldnāt fucking come out
/u/AnIraqiCamper
Created: Sun Jan 28 17:51:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tokwu/it_wouldnt_fucking_come_out/
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I binged today and my friend and housemate was also there and we ate together. I had already eaten but not told them and just ate more.
I excused myself to throw up which I can usually do within a couple minutes but it wouldnāt fucking come out. I ate so much I almost gagged with every mouthful but only a handful came out.
By then Iād been in the bathroom for 10 minutes and was getting hysterical because I needed to get it out and it just wouldnāt fucking come out and I had to do it quickly before they started to suspect anything.
Iād barely thrown up anything but had to come out the bathroom because if they found out all hell would break loose. My friend was staying for a few hours and I couldnāt get to the bathroom again.
Iām so fucking angry with myself and need to vent and I can feel it in my stomach now but no matter how hard I punch my stomach, no matter how far I shove my fingers down my throat nothing happens. Fuck
[Rant/Rave] Thought I was āoverā this and now the heaviest Iāve ever weighed..
/u/AirIWish [5ā6 | 182lbs | 0 28/01/18 | F š]
Created: Sun Jan 28 17:40:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7toicu/thought_i_was_over_this_and_now_the_heaviest_ive/
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I was so close to being happy before two summers ago (2016) and now Iām heavier than I ever have been. I thought everything would be fine if I cut myself out of the communities and just relaxed. I learnt how to cook, itās fab! But Iāve never seen the scales so high.
I feel like shit but at the same time I feel like Iām lying to myself; after spending so much time being ānormalā (in a constant binge state) I have no idea whether I am lying anymore. I canāt handle it. Iām HUGE now. I let myself go and Iām ashamed. Genuinely ashamed.
Iām nauseous around food now, and feel even worse for eating it. I canāt take it. I canāt be the shitty fat friend anymore. I refuse to be the one EVERYONE hands their leftovers to. I need this, just for once. To actually be thin. To not be ashamed of my body or size. I have to. Iām tired of failing and I donāt want to.
I knew Iād gained at least 10+ pounds since I lasted weighed myself but itās so much worse. I cannot see it get any higher. Honestly if it reaches 200 then I have no idea what Iāll do. I have to do this. Iām so tired of giving into the fact I constantly need to shovel food into my mouth.
Sorry for the rant, Iām just doing pretty shit right now
(On lighter news; bought binge food and after feeling nauseous and partially suicidal again, itās in the bin- all of it! I hate bread so much)
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like cardio makes you more hungry/eat more?
/u/idk56177
Created: Sun Jan 28 17:16:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tocr5/does_anyone_else_feel_like_cardio_makes_you_more/
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[Discussion] Clocking ED girls
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 16:42:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7to4sn/clocking_ed_girls/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What weird ED food do you eat/have you eaten?
/u/shadowmachines
Created: Sun Jan 28 16:02:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tnvel/what_weird_ed_food_do_you_eathave_you_eaten/
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For lunch today I caught myself making "tacos" from nori sheets filled with potato, sauerkraut, and sunflower microgreens because...? What sort of weird ED food do you make/have you eaten?
[Help] Food to bring to potluck in college class?
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 93 | 18.4 | -21| F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 16:01:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tnv6z/food_to_bring_to_potluck_in_college_class/
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My sculpture class is having a group crit and we've decided to make it a potluck, because I was obsessing over food at the time and couldn't keep my dumb mouth shut. Obviously I have to bring something since i suggested it, but I don't intend to eat if i can get away with it. In case I have to, what's something a college student could make or buy that would be low calorie but serve a group of about 12?
[Help] How to re-break the news to someone?
/u/spiNACHOcolate [Height:1m70 | CW:54kg | HW:69kg | GW:50kg | F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 15:59:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tnuo3/how_to_rebreak_the_news_to_someone/
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Y'all I'm not trying to recover. Actually I still want to lose some weight but I'l asking fro some advice here.
When I was last bad with my ED I told some people who helped me through the first recovery I had, and then listened to me every friction' time I needed them to do so. I'm really close with these people and have a really good friendship with them.
The one issue is that they always expect me to be this fancy af recovering strong person when really I'm crying in supermarkets, starving, and purging again. Off I want to tell them so they can expect the worst//look out for me if needs be, but HOW DO I BREAK IT TO THEM??
Thanks in advance people. Peace n love. On another note - I've lost weight so happiness and joy. Only like 4kg to go until my new GW.
[Discussion] Silliest/strangest things you've done or do as a result of the ED?
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Sun Jan 28 15:58:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tnug4/sillieststrangest_things_youve_done_or_do_as_a/
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Mine are:
Wipes food off toddler son's face. Eats it.
Licked butter off toast. Threw away the toast.
Partially drunk, partially ED fueled: accidentally got a little tipsy before going to a Mexican restaurant (mmm, white russian). They served us the standard chips and salsa. Accidentally spilled some salsa on the menu. Swiped it up and licked it off my finger repeatedly like a ravenous wolf until it sunk in how fucked up I was being. Luckily no one was staring.
[Discussion] DAE feel more lightheaded after eating more than usual compared to a day of fasting
/u/skinnyinscrubs [5'5'' | CW: 119 | BMI: 19.5 | GW1: 112 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 15:46:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tnrrz/dae_feel_more_lightheaded_after_eating_more_than/
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I've eaten much less over the last week, and today I had to eat a bigger meal with family. I've no idea why but all tonight I felt so faint, even more than usual, not to mention the cramps and stomach pain. I was already panicking about eating so much but now I feel the exact same as I would have without food plus I'm about 600 calories up :(
[Discussion] Does Anyone Else Lax on The Weekend?
/u/milkymeow [5'7" | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 14:59:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tngnl/does_anyone_else_lax_on_the_weekend/
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I always take multiple laxatives on the weekend because I know i'm not going anywhere regardless if i've binged or not. I know its not healthy but hell what part of any of this is?
[Rant/Rave] feeling hopeless
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sun Jan 28 14:56:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tnfwz/feeling_hopeless/
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My bone structure means a thigh gap is hard. All the weight i lose goes from my tits first (most people can relate) and then my arms and stomach. My wrists are slim and my waist is fine but i donāt have a thigh gap and itās ruining me. My thighs are my worst feature, they make me never want to leave the house or my bed. I see people with healthy BMIās and amazing thigh gaps and then thereās me, currently restricting <400 a day and averaging 700 calories a day for the past months, a BMI of 17 and still huge huge thighs. It all just feels so hopeless
[Discussion] Oral fixation and ED. (Discussion)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jan 28 14:51:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tneml/oral_fixation_and_ed_discussion/
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On mobile flair as discussion or rant rave.
So I feel like when I eat very little or don't eat at all that I feel compelled to use my mouth sorry that sounds odd. Just wondering if anyone else felt similarly. I chew gum, perpetually drink water, coffee and tea and I smoke cigarettes. I feel like I am more on edge is I don't satisfy the urge to do something with my mouth.
I am pretty quiet and reserved but find myself joking or trying to have conversations with people especially over meals so I have an excuse to not eat.
Does anyone else relate to this at all? Keeping your mouth busy and occupied with things other than food?
Please don't let me be the only one.
Willow.
[Discussion] Low-Income ED Struggles
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Sun Jan 28 14:42:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tncp3/lowincome_ed_struggles/
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I'm poor. I've always been poor. I'm the product of a 19 year old dropout mother and a father who spent more money than he ever made.
I feel like the scarcity of food contributed to my obsession with it, both my tendency to eat too much and too little- starving both out of necessity to ration and to cope with the uncertainty of whether or not I'd have enough to eat anyway, and binges brought on by that constant hunger (which grew much for frequent after my worst episode of self-starvation).
It's led to congratulations on not eating "too much" and lately to constant verbal attacks for my binges, which make me end up binging *more* to cope with the terrible things i hear in response to it.
It's self perpetuating and inconvenient to absolutely hellish proportions.
And yet there's still people who think this is exclusively a rich girl's disease.
[Discussion] When did people start noticing your weight loss/acting different?
/u/ballerina239
Created: Sun Jan 28 14:30:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tn9v3/when_did_people_start_noticing_your_weight/
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[removed]
Do you have a full body length mirror in your house?
/u/EDthrowaway536373
Created: Sun Jan 28 14:23:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tn81p/do_you_have_a_full_body_length_mirror_in_your/
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I just moved one from my basement to my room and holy shit this is the best and the worst thing I've ever done to myself. On one hand body checking has never been so easy. On the other hand...*body checking has never been so easy*. 2 weeks of it being in my room and I actually hit my UGW and I'm almost 3 lbs under it now and I'm actually trying to put the breaks on this before it gets out of hand. But man mixed feelings on this thing.
[Rant/Rave] I think Iām making my boyfriendās ED worse and I donāt know what to do :((
/u/blmatsuu
Created: Sun Jan 28 14:16:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tn6gv/i_think_im_making_my_boyfriends_ed_worse_and_i/
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Okay, so basically, me and my boyfriend both have an ED, and we went out to a cafe last night and I didnāt order anything because Iād already went over my calorie limit for that day + I wasnāt really hungry, and I checked his Instagram story on his vent account later that day and he was really upset and saying he wanted to self harm because I hadnāt eaten anything and it made him feel like a pig because he decided to have something?? I feel really terrible, like all I want for him is to be happy with himself and I feel like Iāve caused him to struggle even more by doing that. My EDās just making his even worse and it sucks because I seriously love him more than anything but Iām just really stressed right now because heās really struggling at the moment and I feel like he might relapse soon because he bought a razor blade today and he promised me he would only use it for regular things like crafting (pretty much what it was marketed for btw) but Iām really scared heās gonna use it to self harm. We live about an hour away from each other as well and we can only see each other on weekends so I canāt even check up on him during the week and it honestly kills me to see him like this. I know itās bad that Iām this overprotective but he deserves the fucking world and I just feel like Iāve fucked it up even more for him by not eating.
Ughhhh, Iām really sorry for the rant but I just needed to vent. Do any of you have any advice on how I can help him feel better though? I really want to help him feel happy again because it honestly crushes me when heās sad, he deserves so much happiness and Iād honestly do anything just to make him feel okay :(
[Help] collapsing
/u/flowerxng [5'5.5''| cw: 102 | i just wanted to be happy]
Created: Sun Jan 28 14:05:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tn3nc/collapsing/
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So I've collapsed/fainted twice today. This is really weird because I've been at a lower bmi and never fainted, and also I'm not restricting anymore because of my mom (eating 1500cal per day, feels like hell because my stomach always is sooo stuffed ew). I'm thinking it might be dehydration, should I get it checked out? I feel like I'm ok now except my head hurts. I also don't want to go to a doc because I've lost some weight since my last checkup and my team is kinda worried already...
[Rant/Rave] Have to have food with one of my meds. Incapable of doing more than a 24 hour fast :(
/u/Ifukitallthetime
Created: Sun Jan 28 13:54:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tn0wy/have_to_have_food_with_one_of_my_meds_incapable/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Food Allergies
/u/delicatcerise [5'6 | 116.2 | 18.8 | GW: idk | 24F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 13:46:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tmyzt/food_allergies/
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I'm severely lactose intolerant. Even <1% lactose content will bloat me out so bad and make me violently ill (like the shits and vomit at the same time, fun fun!) Developed when I was 18, was so soooo bad I cut out all dairy. Lost a decent chunk of weight. I've also bounced back and forth between vegan, vegetarian, and flexitarian.
Not going to lie, I have definitely used my intolerance and my eating practices to politely refuse food or prevent myself from eating certain things. Like, I'm almost relieved when someone brings pastries to the office and I read the ingredients and it's just *filled* with dairy based shit. Nobody bats an eye at me if I just get a salad when we go out to eat because there's almost always nothing else on the menu that doesn't have dairy or meat. Everyone just assumes I'm "small" because "Oh, you can't eat *anything* teehee!"
It sucks sometimes because goddammit, sometimes I just want real mac n cheese. But it also kind of makes me feel... safe? knowing my body will literally punish me if I eat it lmao.
**For anyone that has food allergies/intolerance or is vegetarian/vegan: How do these relate to your ED?**
[Rant/Rave] i don't like food anymore
/u/bombay- [5'9 | CW 160 | GW1 130 | 23.6 | 16F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 13:23:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tmte6/i_dont_like_food_anymore/
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i've been a binge eater since i was about 11 and i've gotten to the point where there's no food i like. i never crave anything anymore and i hate everything i used to love, like sweets and junk food. you think this would stop my binging, but NOPE. i'm just sitting here shoving food that i don't want into my face. smh
[Discussion] DAE feel like theyāre in a never ending cycle?
/u/nonameplease200
Created: Sun Jan 28 12:59:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tmn9c/dae_feel_like_theyre_in_a_never_ending_cycle/
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I will successfully restrict under 800 calories for two-three weeks, then something inside me breaks and Iāll have a binge-purge (sometimes just binge) session and feel like I ruined all my progress. For example, I was doing really well, but on Friday I literally binged-purged the entire day. On Saturday, while I excersised a fair amount, I ate around 1,050 calories (which is higher than what I usually eat), and today, I havenāt even bothered to count my calories because I feel unmotivated and depressed. I keep telling myself Iāll get back on track tomorrow, but I feel like such a failure. Does anyone else seem to get caught in this pattern?
[Rant/Rave] I have eaten my way up 4lbs
/u/sadveggiehead [5ā5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 12:56:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tmmod/i_have_eaten_my_way_up_4lbs/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Did anyone else predict your ED?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Sun Jan 28 12:00:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tm84c/did_anyone_else_predict_your_ed/
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I know this might sound a little odd, but my nan (mum's mum's mum) and my dad both seemed to know I'd have an eating disorder.
I remember years before I started purging, every time I came out of the bathroom even remotely close to having eaten, my father would jump down my throat about if I'd been making myself throw up, and before that, my nan would constantly remind me to eat/worry i intentionally wasn't eating enough. I remember her saying things like "You stay away from those silly starvation diets." all. the. time.
I felt like utter shit the first time she said it after I actually had started starving myself.
Anyway, did anyone else have something like that going on? Family members or friends suspecting you had an ED well before you had one?
[Help] Everytime I try to wean off Wellbutrin, my appetite skyrockets and I binge. Has anyone else had this happen to them?
/u/pedaling-backwards [5ā2 | cw: 106 | gw: 97 | š pedalingbackwards]
Created: Sun Jan 28 11:24:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tlz6y/everytime_i_try_to_wean_off_wellbutrin_my/
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All Wellbutrin has ever done for me the past six months Iāve been on it is make my anxiety worse and turn me into a hypochondriac. I want to get off it, but everytime I try I binge without fail. And itās different than my usual binges, itās not the āIām bored/depressed/anxious so might as well stuff my faceā binge, itās the āIām so ravenous I need food RIGHT NOWā binge where I start eating everything in my pantry no matter what it is and itās this compulsory need where I completely shut off and go on auto pilot.
Iāve lowered my dose the past few days in attempts to wean off it, yet judging by how todayās going I know a lowered dose isnāt going to prevent me from these ravenous binges.
Iām just wondering if anyone else has had this happen to them and if it went away after a while. I can stick it out for a bit if I know this insane appetite skyrocket will eventually cease, but I would rather deal with the anxiety if the alternative is binging like this until who knows how long.
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes it just works perfect
/u/noidea744 [5'3| CW 110.8 | BMI 20|F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 11:20:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tly3d/sometimes_it_just_works_perfect/
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I've recently started working where I can only get an extra drink or a snack on my breaks. So I worked out what I could have to eat and drink at work and how many calories that would leave me for dinner. The perfect amount for my favourite drink :D
However I may have slightly flawed logic, I went to buy new clothes for work yesterday and you d out they are now selling a smaller size....so I need to drop a size asap :/
[Help] If you sleep 24 hours a day, does your BMR stay the same?
/u/theteaiscold
Created: Sun Jan 28 10:59:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tlsoj/if_you_sleep_24_hours_a_day_does_your_bmr_stay/
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Itās only your TDEE that changes, right?
Just checking š
š
[Discussion] Why is it so fucking hard to be nice to yourself?
/u/fatterfly [5'4" | 150 lolfml | 25.6 | -6 | 24F | RELAPSE HELLO!]
Created: Sun Jan 28 10:55:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tlrx1/why_is_it_so_fucking_hard_to_be_nice_to_yourself/
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Like when I see anyone on here or other ED forums talking shit about their body (even if they don't have their stats up) I'm [like](https://media.giphy.com/media/gG1FaKFgRl2JG/giphy.gif) YOU LISTEN HERE YOU ARE A FUCKING BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY QUEEN and I absolutely mean every word. I'm *positive* they look good and I hate that they think this way about themselves because they deserve so much better!!
Meanwhile I'm over [here](https://78.media.tumblr.com/2565eb6d03a1efd9cf90a02088d76b2e/tumblr_ny6kvu1jeS1u3mbs6o1_400.gif) choosing between hanging myself or overdosing on rat poison because I put an extra spoonful of oats in my breakfast this morning. š š š š #killme
[Help] Could this be real weight gain?
/u/greciamarzz
Created: Sun Jan 28 10:52:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tlr2n/could_this_be_real_weight_gain/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How much of ED are a response to environmental stimuli and how much could happen no matter what. Culture is toxic
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jan 28 10:44:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tlp76/how_much_of_ed_are_a_response_to_environmental/
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On mobile I think this could be a good discussion but I also just need to vent.
Ok so full disclosure I lurk r/1200isplenty because I am convinced my body is fucked up and I shouldn't eat normal amounts. Maybe it's just EDs childhood.
I don't go out of my way to read diety stuff but it seems like it is continually pushed on everyone. Every recipe is skinny-fied or fat free, or what have you, there a work out and social expectations for women especially to be some ideal that isn't necessarily natural and I think the shallowness of society preys heavily on the overpresent insecurity of everyone. I just hate how everyone seems to perpetually be dieting and how the norm is to be deprived.
I just see disorder everywhere. It could be a response to obesity but often is seems like people just trying to relieve insecurity. When does it end? The diet industry is responsible I feel like for a lot of disordered thinking and ideas that made people ashamed to be any thing other than average or normal or healthy.
Why do we do this to our selves? Animals don't seem to get eating disorders, they put on weight in the winter to be warm but people create. Cultures where we do the opposite of what evolution would have us doing.
I'm just upset and I feel like the body positivity movement is just an equal opposite extreme. Yes different body types should be represented but I don't think any human being outside of very talk muscular peoplle should be over 300lbs.
Sorry this is all over the place. I don't know where I was going with this. I slept 6 hours in the last 3 days and worked 36 hours in the same 3 days.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Dating a super small guy.
/u/jeanisdead [5'2.5" | 98lbs]
Created: Sun Jan 28 10:27:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tlkwo/dating_a_super_small_guy/
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I recently met someone. It was super fairy tale, we met, kissed the same day, have been seeing each other ever since. I'm the poor girl who was dumped by her fiancƩ back in October, so this was super exciting. He is gorgeous, amazing at sex, and a fucking phenomenal lover in general. So, so different than what I had before.
Let's talk about how I normally date big dudes. I like to be the small one, obviously. This guy is 5'8" and probably 140lbs. And holy fuck, I love it. Why have I been denying the skinny dudes all this time?? Oh yeah, it's because of my crippling eating disorder and massive body insecurities.
I just feel like he is too good for me. He's super affectionate, and mentioned to me yesterday that I didn't necessarily reciprocate. I think I'm too scared to. During sex,I'm all about it, all over him, give me that d. But I'm afraid to be too lovey dovey afterwards. I know I'm smaller than him, despite his minuscule dimensions. But it feels so different. Like I'm gonna crush him. Doesn't really help that I've been in the gym like a motherfucker and building muscle like a beast. I just wanted dat ass. Now I have it, and that's cool. But I eat a lot to maintain it. Now, I want to subsist on pure protein and just cut every ounce of fat off my body.
Not to mention all the drinking to cope. Doesn't help. Makes me mega bulimic and anxious. But he makes me so fucking nervous sometimes. I need to get the fuck over it.
Any advice on getting the fuck over it? I don't wanna pump the brakes on something that seems so perfect. He has a great job, he enjoys healthy living and doesn't drink, we're about the same age, he loves animals, travels & adventures, dresses really well, exotic looking dude with a southern accent and a huge dick. Help. I really want to keep this around, but I'm afraid it's gonna destroy me.
[Discussion] binge foods VS. binge situations??
/u/conspicere [š 5'3.5" | CW: 115 | GW: šÆ | š„]
Created: Sun Jan 28 10:23:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tljs3/binge_foods_vs_binge_situations/
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DAE tend to binge more when in certain situations/places rather than when eating a specific food?
For example, I tend to completely lose self-control when I'm at my sorority house. It doesn't really matter what food they're serving, I'll eat a ton of it anyway.
They also have these little single servings of Smuckers peanut butter that I can eat like, 10 of in one sitting (and they're 120 calories each FML š«). But when I eat peanut butter out of the jar at home I can stop after 1 tbsp?
I guess it comes down to the influence of social eating vs. the control I feel when preparing my own food at home. Anyone else feel the same way?
[Help] Calories burned in hot yoga?
/u/jasper1796
Created: Sun Jan 28 09:56:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tldbw/calories_burned_in_hot_yoga/
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I recently got an intro month membership for a hot yoga place and have been going 3-4 times a week, it's actually a really nice getaway and doesn't really feel like a form of punishment like most exercise does for me lol. But of course, I would still love it if someone could tell me approximately how many calories I'm burning per class - the classes are easy/moderate in difficulty and are 60mins each.
[Help] Making a proED multireddit, give me your suggestions!
/u/Guilty_Treasures [5'2.5" | 112 | 20.8 | GW1: 105 | UGW: 99]
Created: Sun Jan 28 09:42:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tla26/making_a_proed_multireddit_give_me_your/
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So far it's got r/proed, r/proedmemes, r/trollcoping, r/fatlogic, r/truespo, r/1200isplenty ... what other subreddits should I include? I'd love more thinspo subreddits that aren't overly porn-y, and whatever else you guys think would fit well. Gimme all your favorites! EDIT: I remember seeing one recently that was like proedfood or proedmeals or something like that, but I can't find it now. Does anyone know which one I mean?
[Discussion] What motivates you the most when your food cravings are the worst?
/u/vitalogy95 [5'5" | CW: 155 | BMI: 25.79 | GW: 115 | HW: 176]
Created: Sun Jan 28 09:39:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tl9d7/what_motivates_you_the_most_when_your_food/
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Im scared Iām getting off track again and itās likely because of finally getting me period. My PMS cravings are insane and it lasts up to two weeks. I need all the help I can get to stay motivated.
I just purged so hard my neck hurts
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 28 09:33:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tl865/i_just_purged_so_hard_my_neck_hurts/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tl865/i_just_purged_so_hard_my_neck_hurts/
[Other] My goal is to be underweight by my old anniversary
/u/Just-That-Other-Guy [5'11" | CW: 146 lbs | BMI: 20.4 | SW: 230 lbs | -84 lbs]
Created: Sun Jan 28 09:04:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tl1kk/my_goal_is_to_be_underweight_by_my_old_anniversary/
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My ex husband left me about 8 months ago. It was a really rough divorce. The way I want to show myself I'm over it is by having enough self control to be underweight by our old anniversary (3/12). When I moved out of his apartment I put on about 15 lbs in a month or so. It got me down enough that all self control went out the window. Wouldn't it be a great feeling to turn that completely around and show myself that I can have self control despite everything he put me through? That I don't let the pain of what happened control me anymore? It sounds absolutely wonderful to me.
[Rant/Rave] Temporary weight increase after high calorie day
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 08:56:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tkzqw/temporary_weight_increase_after_high_calorie_day/
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Ugh. This is dumb, but I hate how my weight goes up 2-3 pounds the morning after a high calorie/heavy food day.
Iāve been weighing in consistently at 125-126, and this morning I was 128 because I had ~2000 calories yesterday instead of the jello Iāve basically been having all week.
I *know* didnāt actually gain 2 pounds in a day, thatās impossible, especially when thatās pretty much maintenance at my TDEE + gym yesterday. It just sucks to see it, because I know Iāve been eating at a deficit (~1100 average per week for a few weeks now), and I should be losing.
Also, Iām pissed that I havenāt been losing more (notice the āweighing in consistentlyā), even though I know my deficit average isnāt that big. Thanks, weekends.
I have a month to lose like 10-15 lb to look really good in a dress for a wedding and to see a guy that I havenāt seen in 5 years haaaalllllpppp
To summarize, š.
I want out
/u/Diamondwrists
Created: Sun Jan 28 08:41:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tkwfh/i_want_out/
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[removed]
[Discussion] January 28th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 08:40:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tkwe1/january_28th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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How do you describe home?
[Rant/Rave] Mixed messages
/u/lolaloveslosing [5'9| CW 120| BMI 17.72(old)| -15lbs| Female]
Created: Sun Jan 28 08:35:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tkvb0/mixed_messages/
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On mobile please flair as other/rant?
So Iāve been struggling lately with the differences between what people say and how they act. I hooked up with a friend of mine that knows about my ed thoughts/behaviors. We had previously hooked up when I was about 10lbs heavier. This time he asked me if I was doing ok with my eating stuff and seemed genuinely concerned which was nice because he had never brought it up after I told him. At the same time while we were lying in bed together he kept running his hands along my hip bones and feeling my ribs in my back and sides. Itās not really important to me but i find it funny that everyone keeps telling me not to lose weight/ that I have no weight to lose but every time I do I get more positive attention.
I went home for Christmas having lost my freshman 15 and dropped back to an underweight BMI - my mom told me I looked fantastic and to keep it up. Every time I see my grandma she tells me I look great and then asks if Iāve lost weight.
Basically I feel like people say what they think you want to hear but you can tell by their actions that skinnier is better and no one actually gives a fuck if youāre unhealthy as long as you donāt bother them with it.
Sorry that turned into kind of a rant ššš if you all have had similar experiences Iād love to hear about them !
[Tip] Party night with few calories
/u/__charlotte_
Created: Sun Jan 28 07:47:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tklz5/party_night_with_few_calories/
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Hey guys!
I always have trouble finding the perfect beverages when going out or partying. Yesterday something worked out quite nicely for me and I would like to share that with you. Just comment if you have better ideas or tips!
...So, my tip for you: I prepared my own gin tonic in a take away beverage thing with a high percentage gin (4cl). Also, I used lemon juice (one fresh squeezed lemon), ice cubes and sparkling water to fill everything up. I took this with me and it gave me a quite nice booze (also the taste was really good). Btw, this has around 118kcal. Then, I only took 3 tequila shots with lemons the whole night, which were about 147 all in all. This makes 265kcal for one party night, which is quite okay and if you skip dinner, itās even more effective lol.
[Discussion] Those of you prone to bingeing (like me), were you ever able to integrate non-binge meals after hitting gw?
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW: 162.0 | 21.49 | -14lbs | GW: 140 | 22/F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 07:41:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tkkts/those_of_you_prone_to_bingeing_like_me_were_you/
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I know it's a long way away (fuck) but I'm thinking of how I'm going to reintegrate possibly regular meals after I hit the goal.
Thinking I'm going to have to be really gentle with it and maybe just increase the quantity of healthy safe foods before I try any "unhealthy" meals (like splurging on fries or pizza). Any tips/success stories/things to watch out for?
[Rant/Rave] Guys this is too good
/u/LittleSkittles [5'4" | 91.6 lbs | 15.72 | GW 70 lbs | 20F |š psylocibex]
Created: Sun Jan 28 07:34:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tkjlt/guys_this_is_too_good/
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Okay, so lurking on a certain fitness subreddit, and I see a post about feeling curtailed by calorie limit for short people. The post mentioned how OP feels like 1000 calories is practically fasting.
I almost lost my reason here, guys šš first off, you can eat more than 1000 calories, just be clever and walk places and all will be well. Second off, how in the name of fuck is 1000 calories basically fasting? šš what are you eating normally that means when you cut down to 1000 you just can't have anything at all? Straight butter? Starbucks unicorn frappes? Cheesecake factory for every meal?
1000 calories is so much room to work with that it's not even funny. Like that's enough to get all your macros in, be full, and still have a tasty snack. All you have to do is think about it!
Okay, rant over, I think. I don't know why this gets to me so much, but it's both infuriating and hilarious to see this stuff happen. Anybody else get entirely mystified when non-disordered eaters seem to lack a middle-ground behaviour between eating and "dieting"?
[Tip] Are there any quotes / mantras / facts you bare in mind to motivate you? New attitudes you've taken up?
/u/Bangsofsteel [5'2 | CW: 115 | GW1: 110 | LW 90]
Created: Sun Jan 28 07:17:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tkgmu/are_there_any_quotes_mantras_facts_you_bare_in/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE dislike the new bmi calculator?
/u/scribbledoll [5'0'' | 135 |27.76 | IDK | Girl? Ish?]
Created: Sun Jan 28 06:55:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tkcnn/dae_dislike_the_new_bmi_calculator/
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IDK I mean.... it's probably more accurate and everything, but it's disheartening to see your highest healthy weight go from 128 pounds to 121 pounds when you're already considered overweight from the old calculator. I mean, my UGW is waaay below either of those numbers, but still, it just seems so much further away now. I know it's only 7 pounds, but I'm really struggling to lose anything!
I mean, I guess it's also good in that it freaks me out and makes me want to never eat again, so I guess that helps? I just don't want to be overweight anymore!!! Obviously, I'll feel waaaay better when I'm actually thin and skinny, but I'd also feel okay finally being a healthy BMI, you know? It will actually feel like I actually accomplished something and it's frustrating having that moved further away. I was going to get there eventually, but I just have to be miserable and literally (and not just my mind playing tricks on me, but genuinely!!!) being overweight for that much longer.
I'm probably being stupid and overreacting to a reality check, but it sucks. A lot.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 28, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jan 28 05:11:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tjxbu/daily_food_diary_january_28_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for January 28, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jan 28 05:10:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tjx8v/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
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Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Rant/Rave] Starting to feel guilty
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 199.8 | GW1 199 | UGW 120 | 34.3 | 25 F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 04:26:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tjre3/starting_to_feel_guilty/
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I've been with my guy for 3.5 years, and overweight/obese the whole time. He's never commented negatively on how much/what kind of food I eat. I know that he doesn't care about my size, but I also know he really likes thin women. I know he loves me, but I feel he deserves better.
He knows I'm trying to lose and is encouraging me. He thinks I'm just trying to "get healthy". He doesn't know that when he's not home, I don't eat. Or that almost everyday for that last 2 weeks the meal we had together was the only thing I had that day. Although, one time I think I mentioned not having anything. He asked Our plans got changed today, so we ended up stopping for him to have lunch. But before we went, he asked if I'd be able to eat anything there. We also went shopping and got food I'm ok with eating.
I hope I can just maintain when I get to my UGW. But I don't have the best track record with these things. I also didn't think that cutting would take over like it did. And with the fear of going back to bingeing all the time again, I feel like I'm clinging to high restriction. If/when I make my UGW, I'll also likely feel the need to keep restricting because I know my body loves to hold on to weight, and hates to let it go.
IDK. Sorry, I'm just rambling. I'm just having a bit of a break down tonight. I love this man. I already feel bad he's dealing with my crazy ass and my cutting, I don't want to add this on to him. I'm worried one of these days he's just going to wake up and realize there's just too much wrong with me and he's done. Why can't I just be happy, healthy, and normal??
[Other] On the surface I would giggle. On the inside I would be losing my everloving shit
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Sun Jan 28 04:08:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tjpak/on_the_surface_i_would_giggle_on_the_inside_i/
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https://imgur.com/xlzMHZ2
My ED brain would love its everloving shit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 28 04:07:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tjp31/my_ed_brain_would_love_its_everloving_shit/
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https://imgur.com/mg7u0Rl
[Discussion] Growth stunted??
/u/Sb22312
Created: Sun Jan 28 03:47:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tjmli/growth_stunted/
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Does anyone think their ED has stunted there growth like I've been dealing with this since I was 14 , and I've never been like underweight in terms of BMI ( I'm fairly muscular from years of sport) but I've been like lost period for like years low bodyfat ECT and I think it's stunted my growth
Like I'm 170cm so fairly average height but my feet are a UK 9 and my hands are quite large. Also my mate said I feel like you should be taller yesterday and it got me thinking
TLDR; anyone else think their ED made them short
[Discussion] The weekends are the worst.
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Sun Jan 28 02:15:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tjbck/the_weekends_are_the_worst/
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Does anyone else go up on the scale during the weekends? I always have extra food in the house since I get paid/my family does a food shopping so it's easier to binge and harder to purge since my family is home and constantly around. I always gain like 3-4 lbs by Sunday and drop it in a few days during the week. It's just discouraging. Plus, I drink more alcohol on the weekends which is basically liquid calories and makes my impulses weaker.
[Other] "You look like you're getting skinny- let's just hope you're doing it in a healthy way."
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Sun Jan 28 02:04:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tj9yn/you_look_like_youre_getting_skinny_lets_just_hope/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is anyone else impatient af
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 23:10:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7timbv/is_anyone_else_impatient_af/
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I feel like this is so contradictory to the classic "ed personalities" and it makes me feel invalid
But I fucking hate waiting to lose weight š
I'm really impatient in other areas of my life too
[Discussion] Your workout routine
/u/pixelstar [5'1.5 | CW: 96 - GW: 93]
Created: Sat Jan 27 21:28:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ti4v1/your_workout_routine/
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I'm curious what everyone does for exercise? Walking? Running? Lifting? Martial arts, cycling, rock climbing, aerial yoga? Let's hear all about it!
What are your routines line?
[Rant/Rave] Feeling Guilty
/u/ThisIsGumpy [Height 5'2| CW 108| GW 100]
Created: Sat Jan 27 20:38:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7thvqd/feeling_guilty/
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[removed]
[Discussion] favorite foods to eat when youāre restricting?
/u/mermaidwithbananas
Created: Sat Jan 27 19:37:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7thkev/favorite_foods_to_eat_when_youre_restricting/
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what are yāallās favorite foods to eat when youāre restricting? i can always count on celery, arugula, super plain smart popcorn, grapes, and apples. but i need some new ideas that will also keep the calories down.
[Rant/Rave] My life just feels like me just trying to waste time in between going to the gym
/u/Arakance [5'2" | CW: 117lb | GW: 99lb | SW: 125lb | 19 F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 19:33:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7thjn6/my_life_just_feels_like_me_just_trying_to_waste/
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I'll go to class, study, do chores, talk with friends, but in the end it just feels like I'm drifting around barely connecting with anything I do. The only place where I feel happy and guilt-free at the same time is the Muay Thai gym I go to. I go five times a week and I can easily stay for over two hours, sometimes almost four. Whenever I'm not there I just think about the next time I will be.
When did I get so obsessive and one dimensional.
[Rant/Rave] When everything else in life feels too complex to deal with, at least my weight is simple.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 140 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 17:23:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tgt90/when_everything_else_in_life_feels_too_complex_to/
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I either eat or I don't eat, and I'm either higher, lower, or the same weight as the last time I weighed myself. Nothing else I in my life seems anywhere near that simple. DAE get what I mean?
[Rant/Rave] Yesterday 2 different people commented on my food intake... it just drives me crazy!!! How should I respond?
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 107.8 | -30.2 | F | G: 99]
Created: Sat Jan 27 16:32:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tgi8s/yesterday_2_different_people_commented_on_my_food/
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At work I usually have cauliflower, broccoli and carrots at my desk. I snack on them the entire day... and yet again someone from another department commented on my food - I make them feel bad because I'm eating healthy. AHHHh. In the meantime, the girl is smaller than I am.
Later that night, I went out to eat with new friends and one of the guys asked how often I work out as I was finishing my meal. He ordered just a salad while I split my meal with someone else (we got meat, potatoes and bread) and I ate just as much as the guy I was splitting the meal with.
I don't feel like I'm that skinny, but not only that when I was on a higher end of the BMI spectrum I don't recall anyone commenting about what I ate and how much of it I ate.
The truth is, is that yesterday I only ate the cauliflower, broccoli and carrots and an apple and that dinner was the only actual food I consumed. I hate that I always feel like I have to explain myself to these dumb asses. I bet that guy thinks I'm going to get fat because I told him that I don't have time to work out anymore. I don't understand why people comment on my food intake.
I feel like I need to come up with something to say when people discuss my eating habits. Something short and to the point, but not rude. Any suggestions?
[Other] Lies I've Told to Avoid Eating
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW: uhhhhhhhhh scale broke]
Created: Sat Jan 27 16:11:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tgdn7/lies_ive_told_to_avoid_eating/
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https://pigeonzboi.tumblr.com/post/170203128292/lies-i-didnt-tell-to-avoid-eating
[Rant/Rave] Love how much time I waste because of low self esteem!! :)
/u/crazylama13 [5'2 | CW:103 | BMI: 18.8 | GW:100]
Created: Sat Jan 27 15:52:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tg9b0/love_how_much_time_i_waste_because_of_low_self/
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I was 3 hours late to meet up with a friend just because I changed outfits 20+ times just to make sure I can look as nice as possible and I still ended up wearing leggings and a normal long sleeve (because they are the only articles of clothing that you canāt see my fat in). Hate that my greatest enemy is my own mind !!
[Rant/Rave] i give up
/u/throwthisshitaway612 [Height: 5'7 | CW: 110 lbs | BMI: fat cow | HW: 113 | LW: 93 lbs]
Created: Sat Jan 27 15:34:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tg548/i_give_up/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE not wanna be seen in public?
/u/fatterfly [5'4" | 150 lolfml | 25.6 | -6 | 24F | RELAPSE HELLO!]
Created: Sat Jan 27 15:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tg0ds/dae_not_wanna_be_seen_in_public/
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First of all, hi! Long time lurker, first time poster. I love you guys and love this community so much. You keep me sane! <3
I decided to post today cause I guess I just need some support. I literally canceled on a party tonight that I know is gonna be bomb just because I feel exceptionally fat and I'm way too embarrassed to leave my house looking like this. :( I've been doing this a lot lately, just isolating myself because I feel like everyone is gonna be staring at me and thinking about how fat I look. Does anyone else do this?
P.S. it's not "all in my head" or anything, I really AM fat. My BDD is terrible but objectively I am very aware of the fact that I ballooned up to 156 (at 5'4") over the past year. I'm currently trying to work my weight down again.
[Discussion] Does anybody else get sick at night?
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9 | CW160 | GW120 | BMI23.20 | 20F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 15:09:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tfzrm/does_anybody_else_get_sick_at_night/
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Not sure if this is ED related, but this has only started happening recently with high restriction/binge cycles. I'll go to bed and wake up 1-3 hours later, completely ill. Like, peak of the flu ill. Last night it was so bad I was scared I would have to go to the ER. I was shaking so violently and uncontrollably I would drop anything in my hand, and my stomach felt like it was in a pressure chamber. I think the only reason I couldn't puke was because I was a day into fasting, but I have thrown up because of it in the past. I had a headache and fever as well.
This happens maybe twice a month, and the circumstances the day before are never the same. I stay up 1-2 hours fixing it and I always wake up fine the next morning, like it never happened. Is anybody familiar with this kind of thing?
[Discussion] DAE get irrationally angry when you plan out and save up your calories for a social event then people cancel on you? [rant/ rave]
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW:š| GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 14:39:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tfsx5/dae_get_irrationally_angry_when_you_plan_out_and/
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I didn't eat all day yesterday in attempt to minimize the damage from a night out only to have my friends cancel on me at the fucking last minute.
I hate that. I'm kind of a freak about calories, I know. I plan everything out to the T so I don't go over my limit and it just makes me crazy when my plan gets messed up. I know it's not healthy.
Ughhhh just needed to rant
[Help] I've started to hate quest bars
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 195lbs | M]
Created: Sat Jan 27 14:02:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tfkc6/ive_started_to_hate_quest_bars/
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I used to love them, but at this point I don't think I could force myself to eat oneāwhich is awful, because I want those 170kcal / 22g protein benefits. Suggestions?
[Rant/Rave] My retarded mother just HAS to buy huge boxes of ice cream "just in case of a special occasion"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 27 13:46:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tfgno/my_retarded_mother_just_has_to_buy_huge_boxes_of/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tfgno/my_retarded_mother_just_has_to_buy_huge_boxes_of/
[Discussion] Whatās the least typical ED food that you eat?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 13:18:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tfa4z/whats_the_least_typical_ed_food_that_you_eat/
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People seem to stereotype people with EDs as only eating fruit and salads or whatever, so Iām curious- whatās the least ED food that you eat on a regular basis? Mine is either Kraft Mac and Cheese or ramen noodles. Theyāre actually not high calorie (220 and 300) but theyāre so bad for you.
[Help] Residential at a smaller center?
/u/throwawayxoo
Created: Sat Jan 27 13:11:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tf8j3/residential_at_a_smaller_center/
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Hi all
I just did a phone assessment at a small center. It's one my counselor recommended. They do internal family systems work and also help with both trauma and ed.
They think I should do residential. I'm obese and have had an ed for over twenty five years (I purge mostly and over exercise and fast but have a thyroid issue that was just diagnosed, so, I haven't been thin for awhile).
The ed helps me cope with some pretty significant ptsd symptoms. I need it. I understand there's reasons why a lot of us need it so I couldn't tell anyone to seek recovery. I'm just personally considering going because if they can help with the ptsd or give me different tools to cope, I'm willing to work on the eating disorder.
There's big financial costs associated with it. As an adult this all on me. It took a lot of thinking but I found the best way to do it. Even so I'll be using all my pto for the year and paying a big chunk of cash. I've lived simply the last few years preparing for this and now I'll have another year or two of no vacations, no nice things to afford it. But I'm lucky because I found a way to get more intensive help. Most people never can.
I hope I don't lose my job. I hope I don't blow up at the workers when they make me drink an ensure. I hope I don't get sicker gi wise (pooping blood a lot, may be ulcerative colitis, I'm on the wait list for a gi guy). I hope they don't take my phone and laptop (I'm an adult, with a job guys). I hope I don't lose my job doing this (it's fmla protected but they can punish you anyway).
And I hope I don't gain weight. I'm already obese and my partner said I can't gain any more. He feels a little bad after learning the gain wasn't entirely my fault (thanks thyroid). But still I can't gain or he will leave me. And I don't want to lose because I look horrible at a lower weight, all pretty with hourglass curves, and I'm probsbly trans (ftm) and looking that way makes me want to tear my skin off. I'd want to date a woman with that lovely hourglass rounded look, just not want to be her. If that makes sense.
I clearly have some issues.
Anyway I'm thinking about doing it, I'm scared, I don't know what to expect, I only ever did iop around here a few years back and this center is way far from me.
Help.
[Rant/Rave] My mother is doing a 6 week challenge through her gym and my ED is shrieking.
/u/aerienne [5'4" | CW: 139.0 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 12:16:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7teuwd/my_mother_is_doing_a_6_week_challenge_through_her/
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My mother runs half-marathons. She does this boot camp training a few times per week too. The meal plan they put her on is 1200 calories for 6 weeks. She said everyone loses weight if they stick to it. No shit. I tried to tell her 1200 isn't enough and she's just giving me so much fatlogic.
She told me the first week of this is a detox. It's all egg whites and stevia and 'fake' foods. It's not sustainable. But I can't tell her any of this because she'll turn the argument back to me.
I can't hear her talk about this for 6 weeks. It's going to drive me bonkers. Oatmeal isn't detoxifying! It just makes you poop. Ugh.
On the other end, my ED is like 'Hey, make your own 6 week plan and see how far you can get'. I've never weighed more than my mother and I still can't let it happen. I just want to buckle down and make sure I take my vitamins and work out more. Her program starts Monday. I will too. Secretly.
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If she mentions anything about her program, I'm just going to nod and not say anything. I have to bite my tongue for 6 weeks. I can't even respond when she mentions her magic combo of foods only fuels muscle and not fat. I'm going to go absolutely nuts.
I just got back from a vacation and haven't stepped on the scale yet.......
/u/Douchebagette
Created: Sat Jan 27 12:15:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7teusi/i_just_got_back_from_a_vacation_and_havent/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Favorite hot sauce?
/u/coffeepaysthebills
Created: Sat Jan 27 12:04:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tes3j/favorite_hot_sauce/
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Iāve always used cholula but Iāll run out soon and looking to try a new one!
Anyone with 9-5 office jobs?
/u/diet247x [5'3 | cw: 129 | gw: 125 | ugw: 107 | -25 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 11:57:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7teqct/anyone_with_95_office_jobs/
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How does it affect your ED? For me, itās easier to plan my meals (no breakfast, big volume lunch) and keeps me distracted from eating. Unless work gets stressful, then I snack like crazy.
[Rant/Rave] I will never understand...
/u/bannaberry
Created: Sat Jan 27 11:57:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7teq7q/i_will_never_understand/
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[removed]
[Tip] seriously how do I cook shirataki so it doesn't feel like eating worms
/u/emaxiii
Created: Sat Jan 27 11:52:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tep62/seriously_how_do_i_cook_shirataki_so_it_doesnt/
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I really want to be able to eat pasta but I've never figured out how to cook shirataki so it doesn't have that gummy texture. please help me, I'll take any and all shirataki tips.
[Goal] 2 lbs From UGW.
/u/artbookstea [5'6 |CW 104 | BMI 16.8 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 11:31:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tek07/2_lbs_from_ugw/
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A couple days ago I weighed in at 99.8 lbs for the first time. Then this morning I was at 99.4, so I'm guessing it's not a fluke.
I don't know, I've wanted this for so long and fought so many fluctuations and binge-restrict cycles for this and I feel nothing. I'm getting that initial "Yes! I'm making progress!" feeling when I step on the scale but in all honesty I don't see the point in restricting anymore. Food isn't really a source of joy either though, and maintenance is a struggle to meet.
I'm not sure what my goal was with this post. I have a BMI of 16.0 and still feel like I don't belong here.
[Goal] starting my first multi-day liquid fast!
/u/conspicere [š 5'3.5" | CW: 115 | GW: šÆ | veg š„]
Created: Sat Jan 27 11:11:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7teey5/starting_my_first_multiday_liquid_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My dad has a huge fixation on my diet
/u/villagethief
Created: Sat Jan 27 11:01:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7techw/my_dad_has_a_huge_fixation_on_my_diet/
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Iām a vegetarian and a heavy restrictor, however every 2 weeks when my dad comes back from work he forces me to eat like a normal person. He is always on to me about protein and making sure I get enough calories and he doesnāt even know I have an eating disorder. Whenever he says I need āat least 2000 caloriesā I die a bit on the inside. 2000 calories is a binge lmao. I feel bad because I start to resent him coming back because of how often he bugs me about food, but I know he really misses me while at work. Thankfully my mom is totally oblivious and doesnāt notice when I eat 500 cals a day lol.
[Rant/Rave] Unwantedly pregnant.
/u/honeybrownbunny
Created: Sat Jan 27 10:49:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7te9py/unwantedly_pregnant/
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I am about 90% sure that I am pregnant and I've discussed my symptoms with my mother, all to which she agrees, saying that she dealt with the exact same things. We also think that my body might be trying to reject it and miscarriage, but if it doesn't, I'm going to abort for sure.
At least I know that this months weight gain and severe mental issues haven't really been MY fault. Just my brain and hormones being crazy. And while it still sucks I think I've finally broken out of the self pity apathy phase and back into the "let's correct this starting now" phase. Wish me luck :/
[Help] I have a stupid question about baking
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Sat Jan 27 10:48:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7te9oc/i_have_a_stupid_question_about_baking/
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So I love making friends and family food I can't eat, but if I'm spraying pam and I kinda smell/inhale it, am I getting calories??? I'm like in crisis right now from smelling baking pam when I was spraying it put lmao
[Rant/Rave] my mom is a baker/chef and itās ruining me
/u/kkielle [5'7" | CW: 116 lbs GW: 110 | BMI: 18.1 | F18]
Created: Sat Jan 27 10:36:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7te5v1/my_mom_is_a_bakerchef_and_its_ruining_me/
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my moms passion is baking and cooking so she does that whenever sheās not working her regular job. this usually doesnāt effect me because sheās away on business a lot, but now sheās home for a few months and sheās constantly making huge meals and baking cakes, bread, etc. iāve started binging again and i feel fucking awful. iāve gained a few lbs and itās making me feel so shitty and depressed and i love my mom to death but this is making me irrationally angry at her. idk wtf happened to my will power, iām so mad at myself.
[Rant/Rave] "Wow, Perfect" [rant]
/u/Flesh_Daddy_
Created: Sat Jan 27 10:35:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7te5iw/wow_perfect_rant/
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Nope, fiance certainly didn't say it about me. He drunkenly said his top three where I was number 2, Halle Berry was number 3, Amber Heard was number 4, and his number 1 is... Ding! Ding! Ding! Angelina Jolie!
What brought this up? I was talking about wishing I was taller and he asked how tall Angelina Jolie was and I told him I thought she was 5'11" (I was thinking of someone else) and he drunkenly smiles and goes "wow... Perfect..." She's actually 5'7" and I'm actually sad as fuck.
He's never addressed me as "perfect" and so he goes into the spiel about his top most beautiful women. Me being at #2. But I think that's bullshit. I think I'm nowhere on that list because he just proved to me I'm not even on his radar of "perfect".
I'm short and on the thicker side (have lost and will continue to lose weight until I'm nothing). And he always claimed to like thicker women but he spouts about tall, slender, perfect women, and I kept begging him to just SHUT UP and he wouldn't. And I told him maybe in another universe he can marry her instead and he laughed and said "yeah I don't think THAT'll happen"... But you wish it did, you fucking twat waffle.
Now I know. Now I truly know.
And I will restrict heavily. And I will fast. And I will work out until I pass out from fatigue because fuck this body of mine. I want to whither away. I don't want to have this body anymore. I don't want to be me.
Fuck, why am I so fucked up?
[Rant/Rave] I AM UNDER 130 POUNDS
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 131.2 | BMI: 25.7 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 10:15:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tdziz/i_am_under_130_pounds/
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[removed]
purging
/u/yaogauiasaurus
Created: Sat Jan 27 10:06:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tdwla/purging/
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[removed]
[Goal] Choosing recovery - thanks for all the fish š¬
/u/oneblueboot [| In recovery | 26F | š: oneblueboot]
Created: Sat Jan 27 10:02:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tdvpj/choosing_recovery_thanks_for_all_the_fish/
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I had a very scary and very painful experience yesterday after I purged, and in a moment of clarity/wondering whether I was going to die on my bathroom floor, I realized that this is not the life I want for myself. I can no longer reconcile my eating disorder with the rest of my dreams and ambitions, and if I donāt do something about it now I stand to lose so much of what Iāve been working so hard for.
I told my boyfriend that I need more help than what I can give to myself, and together we formulated a plan of action. Tonight Iām going to call my parents and tell them that Iāve been struggling, and maybe enlist my motherās help for biweekly check ins. Iām going to make an appointment with a doctor and see where things stand, find out whether Iāve done anything to harm myself and what I need to start doing to make myself healthy. I would like to talk with a dietician and make a meal plan so that I know where to start. And finally, Iām going to be totally honest with my psychiatrist and let him know about all the other steps that Iām taking to pull myself out of this.
This community has been so valuable in keeping myself semi-sane while I was at the bottom, but I think itās time for me to go. I hope everyone finds happiness, whichever way they choose to go.
The best way out is through. Wish me luck.
[Discussion] What foods do you pair Halo Top with/what toppings do you use?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 27 09:39:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tdq87/what_foods_do_you_pair_halo_top_withwhat_toppings/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone else have really underwhelming binges?
/u/Guilty_Treasures [5'2.5" | 112 | 20.8 | GW1: 105 | UGW: 99]
Created: Sat Jan 27 09:29:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tdo4y/does_anyone_else_have_really_underwhelming_binges/
---
First off I absolutely don't mean this as some sort of humble brag, or to shame people who struggle with binging. My experience is just different from a lot of what I read about other people's experiences, and I'm genuinely super curious. Sometimes when people talk about their binges, either in a day or in a single session, I can't wrap my head around the number of calories being talked about. Truthfully, I'm kind of awed and impressed. I don't think I could do it even if I wanted (and sometimes when I plan to purge after, I wish I could binge more) When I binge, I get overfull / feel sick / utterly lose desire for more food after roughly 1000 excess calories, either in a day or in a sitting.*^(see below for needlessly detailed description / examples) I'm perversely curious about people who binge much, much more than that: like, does the food keep tasting good / being appealing the whole time? Can your body physically handle the volume okay? Do you still eventually naturally hit a point of feeling full / done or is it more insatiable? But also I'm curious - are there others whose experience is more like mine? Do you almost wish for huge lavish binges, to plan them and build them up in your mind, only to be really underwhelmed by how little you're able to handle before it stops being pleasurable and you're just done? Everyone please chime in on what it's like for you personally - like I said, I'm really genuinely curious. (even more boring rambling below, feel free to skip)
*So here's what it usually looks like when I binge / here's what I 'call' a binge in my mind:
1. (accidental) Eating too much / multiple servings of a single thing. Recent example: I planned to have 2 servings of mini rice cakes, made the stupid mistake of eating straight from the bag, ended up finishing almost the whole bag. Came out to be 500 calories or so.
2. (semi-accidental, meaning I regret it the next day) Having a fuck-it / cheat day, which almost always goes along with saying "new diet plan starts tomorrow" or "things got off the rails these past few days, but I'll start again fresh tomorrow." (It took me doing this every fucking Sunday for like a month before I called bullshit on myself and stopped.) A day like this for me might come in at 2000 calories, or 2500 at the most.
3. (deliberate) A coldly-made rational decision to have a binge / purge session to either get my fix of certain unsafe foods or to temporarily blunt the pain of hunger from restriction. Used sparingly, maybe once or twice a month while in the thick of ongoing restriction, almost never when eating normally. Had one on Thursday, and got myself really looking forward to it thinking about all the things I wanted to eat while waiting for late night to arrive (when there's the least chance to get caught). Here's all I was able to eat before it stopped being enjoyable and I lost all desire to eat any more:
Two pirouette wafer cookies with a very small handful of gummi worms (combo was surprisingly tasty). 2/3 of a mini pizza. A single serving package of these super high-cal chocolate fruit cluster things. Half of a big Jimmy Johns cookie. Total: about 900. I had really wanted to have a crackers and cheese and a bowl of cereal, but just couldn't do more. I was low-key disappointed with myself? I'll have to wait till the next time I b/p, which I really, really don't want to become a frequent thing. How do people eat 5000 calories? I don't mean like 'how could you let yourself do that,' I mean like 'how is that physically possible for you?' Does not compute for me.
[Discussion] January 27th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 09:27:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tdnkw/january_27th_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
Which art movement best describes you today? (Surrealism? Modernism? Dada?)
Lmao this one may require some research
[Rant/Rave] I just feel so drained
/u/dreaminginscience [5'6" | CW142 | GW130 | BMI23 | 23F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 09:20:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tdm0c/i_just_feel_so_drained/
---
Itās been a devastatingly difficult and exhausting week. Iāve been pulling one double shift after the next for 2 weeks, Iām dealing with drama with my sonās dad because he refuses to give me a dime in financial support or a measly hour of physical support (refuses to see our son), and on top of it all it was my mothers birthday on Thursday (she passed away 5 years ago and itās still hard). I was supposed to pull a double today but I slept through my alarm this morning because Iām that fucking exhausted and drained. My boyfriend knows all of this. He knows when Iām low, Iām LOW and really need the extra support. But this morning he could just not be fucking bothered. Not a bit. I was giving attitude and being bitchy but all the while asking that he just give me some love and reassurance and he just kept telling me he was too busy.
I feel like shit because itās the first day of his new business venture and I know he needs to focus and be in good spirits, but I just feel so fucking dejected. Heās my rock. I needed him. I just needed some love. And I feel like even more shit because I just kept pushing and pushing (like I fucking do) and Iām worried I ruined his day but Iām too prideful to apologize and also I feel like he couldāve done better.
I donāt know what Iām looking for here. Just needed to get it off my chest. I hate these lows. I just want to end it all. I hate myself and everything.
[Rant/Rave] My mom is so insensitive.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 27 08:55:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tdgfi/my_mom_is_so_insensitive/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Is anybody else really fucking weird with numbers in general?
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11 | BMI 19.5 | GW 135 | š spawnofsithis]
Created: Sat Jan 27 08:38:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tdcqr/is_anybody_else_really_fucking_weird_with_numbers/
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I'm sort of obsessed with numbers. When I got to the gas station, I have to pump gas to the exact dollar. If I go over a penny, I pump more until the next dollar amount.
I have been recently been trying to log exactly my calorie limit in MFP. I did it on accident one day and felt such satisfaction that now I feel like I have to do it every time, to the point that I make weird quantities of stuff just to get it to exactly 1200. If I can't make that happen, the number needs to be lower than 1200 and end with a 5 or a 0.
When I transfer money between my bank accounts, I always transfer in a way that the account I'm transferring from ends in zero cents after the transfer.
My goal weight is my goal weight because I like the combination of the scale number and the BMI I will have at that weight, not because of how I will actually look at that weight.
I'm sure there are more examples but I'm wondering if anyone else can relate and if this is a common characteristic of EDs?
[Rant/Rave] Iāve been attempting to ārecoverā for 2 months..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 27 08:13:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7td7rn/ive_been_attempting_to_recover_for_2_months/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Ruined my fast
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sat Jan 27 07:41:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7td1n7/ruined_my_fast/
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Was on hour 42 of a 48 hour fast and was in the kitchen to get water... 5 mins later iām eating plain white bread slice by slice (had 4 in total at 98calories each) and then a 159calorie crispy cake and a few sweets. I did manage to stop there and i did purge literally more than ive ever purged before right afterwards but i will have still taken in so muchšfeel like such a hopeless failure especially because i was at my lowest weight this morning and now iāll lose it :(
[Rant/Rave] āAttention-Seekingā
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 135 | GW1:120| UGW: 110 | BMI: 23.2 | F21]
Created: Sat Jan 27 07:38:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7td0zu/attentionseeking/
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Does anyone else hate the idea of people who post about EDs or mental illness just ālooking for attention?ā
Like yeah... thats the POINT.
Idk about some of yāall, but when I feel like frickin ending it, I might make a post about how Iām feeling hoping that someone will convince me not too.
What exactly is so bad about that?? Should I just hold all my feelings in and die alone??
[Rant/Rave] āYou make me sickā
/u/cryingmostthetime
Created: Sat Jan 27 07:17:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tcx7i/you_make_me_sick/
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I made a really fucking good play in Evil Apples last night using the eating disorder card. I have a separate Instagram where I catalogue things I want to hold onto in a semi-public place but I only let like 50 people follow me. Well I posted my play onto my insta so Iād remember it and maybe someone else with my sense of humor could get a chuckle.
So this girl from high school commented that I make her sick. Sheās one of those girls whoās ārecoveredā but not really and I swear to god she thinks sheās the only person with an eating disorder in our city. She always speaks on behalf of ED people like sheās giving a silent minority a voice. Well, PLEASE LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO THE PLENTY OF OTHER PEOPLE IVE MET WITH EATING DISORDERS. FUCK OFF.
People think Iām a heartless insensitive bitch but I just donāt broadcast my issues to all of my social media. I like to keep it lowkey. As you should.
[Discussion] For those who restrict with a small deficit (100-500 calories below your TDEE), what do you do if you ever binge?
/u/pedaling-backwards [5ā2 | cw: 106 | gw1: 100 | š pedalingbackwards]
Created: Sat Jan 27 06:58:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tctu5/for_those_who_restrict_with_a_small_deficit/
---
Iām used to restricting <500 a day. Therefore, if I ever had a 5000 calorie binge (which was often tbh) it was obviously shit, *but* 2-3 days at my normal intake and it would be as if it never happened. Easier damage control. And if I did gain, it was a muuuch tinier amount.
Iāve been restricting to ~1000-1100 calories the past week since I was hoping high restriction would help break this 6 month binge-restrict cycle of where I yo-yo the same 3 pounds/teach me healthier eating habits, but it is only 300 below my TDEE. Yesterday I donāt know what happened, but I just said fuck it and binged for no reason, and consumed 5000+ *easily*.
That is a huge surplus to make up for. Now Iām debating on whether to liquid fast for a few days therefore I can cancel out what happened, or just go back to my ~1100 a day and hope my binge-prone ass doesnāt do that again anytime soon.
So, yeah, Iām just curious on what you all do if you binge when you donāt have a large deficit to work with. Iām not used to this intake at all so it feels a little foreign to me on how to proceed with this.
[Help] 5 broken bones. Now what?
/u/IndigoSeasons [5'9" | CW 138 | CGW 118 | BMI 20 | Female]
Created: Sat Jan 27 05:15:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tce4r/5_broken_bones_now_what/
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so, long story (not really, just donāt wanna get into it)... i have 5 broken bones in my leg now.
canāt exercise. might need surgery.
what are the odds of losing weight during the next 8 weeks? i know itās ridiculous that THAT is what iām thinking of. but...
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! January 27, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jan 27 05:11:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tcdks/stupid_questions_saturday_january_27_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for January 27, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 27, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jan 27 05:09:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tcddw/daily_food_diary_january_27_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 27, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] This might be it.
/u/ReversedHierophant
Created: Sat Jan 27 04:40:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tc9e2/this_might_be_it/
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I've been a binge eater my whole life.
From abusive adult to abusive adult all throughout my childhood right up until a few months ago. They're still in orbit but they're not my world anymore.
I used food as a comfort. As a way to fill that void in my life (that I suspect is a borderline personality issue caused by the satellites) I would eat till I felt sick. Wait an hour an do it again.
I would hide the evidence and act like it wasn't happening.
I had managed to loose weight in the past but it all came back in the last few months from stress and a huge bout of depression.
Now I want to loose weight again but it's already getting obsessive. I can't just do things calmly. Nope.
I obsess over everything. I want to weigh everything down to the gram, even condiments, because I k ow it works. Count every single calorie and gram of carbs. Because I know it works.
And because I'm a whole healthy adult overweight I get praise for this behaviour. This time is different though...
I think I like the laxatives. The first time was genuine. I hadn't pooped for a week and I felt really uncomfortable with the thought that I was carrying around food I had eaten days ago. The second time was similar but not intended to be as dramatic as it was.
This time... we'll. This was on purpose. I had my binge. I took them. And now I'm skipping a meal and wanting to wait till I'm completely empty before I eat. One large meal that perfectly sits just below my macro limits.
And, it feels good?
It feels good to be empty.
To watch that number plummet toward a healthier weight.
I haven't been below 200lbs in a long long time and I'm no where near yet but sticking to the diet and keeping myself as empty in-between as possible is very satisfying.
Ive noticed changes, like on Thursday I was full off half a chicken breast and about half a cup of broccoli. Before that wouldn't even touch the sides.
I'm fine from that meal till my lunch eating nothing but a cheesestring and a mini pepperami. And it's rewarding.
I LOVE binging. But I'm really starting to get a sense of pride from restricting too and if I'm honest, it's seems harder to restrict from both ends at the same time.
I know, in my sensible mind, it's not healthy. But I'm getting all the things my body needs. Im just aware that this is the best thing to obsess about right now.
[Help] Attempted recovery weight gain
/u/Fornicorn
Created: Sat Jan 27 03:25:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tbzcm/attempted_recovery_weight_gain/
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Iāll start this off by saying tonight is especially hard, forgive my mushiness. I gained twenty pounds attempting recovery from AN B/P but continued purging throughout, I was keeping down way more than I was so my vitals and blood work look a lot better than they did but although I have been handling the weight gain well up until this point, Iām relapsing. I donāt want to ever get as sick as I was (liver failing, bradycardia, memory loss, muscle atrophy; the list goes on) but I am determined to get close to if not as slim as I was.
Thatās the short story of where I am and holy shit do I feel so alone and I am so fucking tired of feeling so detached. By nature I am deeply empathetic and sociable, but all of the shit I have been through has made me a recluse.
I want to interact more, and for a start I want to know your guysā stories, whatever you are willing to share. This is a lonely life, I have my mind set on this relapse but I want to endure it with company. Honest to god, anything helps.
Tl;dr - Iām fucking lonely, tried recovery and am relapsing. I need company, Iād love to be a genuine friend, Call me Fib.
[Discussion] Long Time Sufferers
/u/conormangan [6'1.5 | 194.6 | BMI 25.33 | -22.4 | LW 122 | GW 160 | 19 M]
Created: Sat Jan 27 03:18:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tbyf3/long_time_sufferers/
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(Asking for a friend š
/s) Just wondering about how those of you who have dealt with an eating disorder for many years (i.e. over a decade) have been able to deal with it? Personally, Iāve been heavily dealing with mine for over 6 years now and while I wouldnāt classify myself as having anorexia (I fall under EDNOS more-so), Iāve been yo-yoāing significantly in these last six years (seems to be an average of once a year because this is currently my sixth time losing a significant amount of weight); my LW is 100 pounds less than my HW (see flair). This has obviously taken a giant toll on my mental health (as well as my body, of course), and paired with suffering from other MIs (anxiety, major depression, ETC) Iām just wondering how some of you deal with it since itās been over six years for me now and feels like itās slowly killing me.
Thanks!
[Help] had like 5 really good, happy days then literally had to break the hearts of everyone in my family in one night
/u/defenestrationdisco [5'8 | CW 57kg | GW1 53kg | UGW 50kg | 19F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 03:17:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tbyaw/had_like_5_really_good_happy_days_then_literally/
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I've finally been doing all the shit you're supposed to after years of depression and self harm and bulimia. Exercise, nutrition, not chugging tequila, no drugs, spending time with loved ones. Finally had solid, realistic plans about my future. The last few days have been the most hopeful, positive period of my life in the last 5 years. Felt like I actually could have a happy normal life one day.
Then my grandmother and aunt who I have a complicated relationship with came over. I made myself a gin and tonic to make talking to them easier. They get upset bc there's been some miscommunication with my parents (who are out) about where they're meeting for dinner and leave angry. I down my drink very quickly from stress. This promptly makes me vomit into the rubbish bin in my room. My brother hears this and comes to check on me.
I tell my brother it's just bc I'm stressed. He then starts telling me he's cripplingly depressed after his friends death and has been pretty severely self harming and feels our parents don't care. I say I won't tell them and we agree that I will make him a doctors appointment and get him in touch with my old therapist.
I go for a very long walk and decide that since I'm unstable as shit and moving to another city 4 hours away in 2 days, I'm probably not the best person to be responsible for the health of my struggling 15 yo brother.
I get back and tell my mum what he told me. She literally attempts to walk away as I'm talking to her and general refuses to hear what I'm saying and accept it. She also does not pay attention when I ask her not to let my brother know I've told her bc I don't want him to feel he can't trust me and loudly continues discussing this right below his open bedroom window. She also takes it extremely personally when I try to tell her that they need to express that they care about him bc he doesn't think they do and doesn't listen when I say it's bc he's 15 and seriously unhappy and unwell and not her fault.
So I've betrayed my brother's trust and failed to help him, accidentally made my parents feel responsible for our mental health issues, and caused the end of the happiest time of my adult life after only 5 days.
not to be melodramatic but I just want things to be good
Sorry this is only kind of related to the sub but you guys are really nice
[Discussion] Daily calories?!
/u/katheriiiine
Created: Sat Jan 27 02:34:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tbsq7/daily_calories/
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I was wondering what everyone daily intake was?
And what do you do if you go over?
[Help] How to get rid of chip cravings??
/u/desperatetogo [165cm | CW: 63 | GW: 45 | -5 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 27 00:51:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tbf7o/how_to_get_rid_of_chip_cravings/
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I feel like I'm constantly craving chips and it's one of the most unhealthy foods ever and whenever I get them I eat the entire bag and I feel so shit after but I want it so bad all the time!!! How do I stop myself from this?
Want to calculate my BMI and BMR
/u/lustflame
Created: Sat Jan 27 00:40:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tbdt1/want_to_calculate_my_bmi_and_bmr/
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[removed]
[Help] Want to calculate my BMI. Need some help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 27 00:30:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tbcgy/want_to_calculate_my_bmi_need_some_help/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend is triggering
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 26 23:20:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tb1y2/boyfriend_is_triggering/
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[deleted]
[Help] Need to get back to fasting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 26 22:11:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7takdh/need_to_get_back_to_fasting/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7takdh/need_to_get_back_to_fasting/
[Help] Canāt purge anymore?
/u/LLazarus732
Created: Fri Jan 26 22:10:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tak1l/cant_purge_anymore/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Omfg
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 26 21:50:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tagfb/omfg/
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https://i.redd.it/2d2xzf6kjjc01.jpg
[Help] Is it possible to eat TOO healthy??? What are your thoughts on my diet/mentality?
/u/bluewillpower96
Created: Fri Jan 26 21:48:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tafw1/is_it_possible_to_eat_too_healthy_what_are_your/
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Ever since I went plant based 2 years ago, I began gradually investigating different types of foods and comparing the pros and cons and discovering certain things I ate were actually not good for me. Ive eliminated so many types of food that I will no longer eat anymore and itās kind of sad and frustrating because I really want to eat those foods, but I cant unlearn the negative facts about them so I restrict myself from eating them and then beat myself up if I do eat them. I also binge if I get the opportunity. Mostly on high calorie foods like nuts and dried fruit but sometimes Ill cheat and eat an entire bag of chips and an entire box of cookies or something. Itās rare but itās happened...
I typically avoid all added sodium, added sugar, oil, and I eat a very low fat diet. I also recently started buying all organic food to avoid the pesticides and chemicals. I *constantly* think about longevity and avoiding heart disease, cancer & diabetes through healthy food and lifestyle choices.
I also constantly tweak the amounts of certain foods I eat and every week I come up with a āperfectā grocery list only to realize that there is a flaw, or I should have added something else, shouldnāt have bought something specific, etc. Sometimes I wish I was just oblivious to where my food comes from and whats in it so I can just enjoy it without a care in the world. I love being fit and healthy but itās psychologically exhausting. Am I taking this too far?
How do you know you have done enough damage to your teeth that even the dentist would figure out with bullimia
/u/bungus_45
Created: Fri Jan 26 21:27:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7tab53/how_do_you_know_you_have_done_enough_damage_to/
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My teeth are faintly transparent, two of my teethās gums have receded a bit and I started to purge more frequently starting a couple weeks ago. I have purged for less than a year, never brushed after and used baking soda to neutralize acid. I started out doing it once twice a week and for the past few weeks I noticed I increased to 3-4 times a week. I am so worried and I truly want to stop.
[Help] PMS makes me want to binge like a madwoman, what can I do?
/u/vitalogy95 [5'5" | CW: 155 | BMI: 25.79 | GW: 115 | HW: 176]
Created: Fri Jan 26 21:04:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ta71g/pms_makes_me_want_to_binge_like_a_madwoman_what/
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Normally I have no problem restricting. I actually find it easier than worrying about food. But when Iām PMSing itās like I canāt stop thinking about food and then I end up eating at maintenance or sometimes a little over and feeling super depressed.
Itās horrible and so far no amount of water is helping to curb my cravings. Any advice?
Any good group messages or things like that that yāall know for ed???
/u/gilllibeannn
Created: Fri Jan 26 21:02:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ta6p0/any_good_group_messages_or_things_like_that_that/
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[removed]
[Goal] Trying to be healthy
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 52 | GW 47 | BMI 17.94 | F |]
Created: Fri Jan 26 20:55:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ta59i/trying_to_be_healthy/
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I feel like I'm going to just sound like some angsty teen, but even though university is kicking my ass. I still feel like I've grown a lot. I've been trying to come to terms with my ethnicity and my culture that I've spent my entire life rejecting. I've been trying to work on my mental health as well. So I've decided that I'm ok with being 50kg. I want to donate blood and I don't think it's that unhealthy of a weight compared to what I was aiming for before. Hopefully I can start making healthier life choices. Wish me luck guys :)
[Rant/Rave] Awkward
/u/instantanarchy [5'3 | 132 | 24BMI | FTM]
Created: Fri Jan 26 20:46:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ta3m4/awkward/
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Okay so last week I had a vasovagal "episode" at work - not a severe one to the point of losing consciousness, but definitely a long-lasting one, dizzy and tingling in my entire body for 30 minutes or so.
So i go to the doctor yesterday and she finds I have startlingly low blood pressure and am pretty dehydrated, and so she weighs me and finds out I've lost 35 pounds, 25 of which were just in the past three months since I last saw her. And she tells me that I don't actually have that kind of weight to lose. So she tells me to keep pushing fluids and make sure to eat. Whatever, doctor's orders, I'll put the brakes on heavy restriction for a bit, right?
Except, ever since the doctor visit I haven't had an appetite whatsoever. Not in a "I'm so hungry but I'm scared of gaining weight" way, but in a "I have nothing in my stomach and I'm already full" way. Like I just now passed by a restaurant and acknowledged that it smelled amazing but I literally cannot imagine actually eating at this point.
Like I'm a little excited about not having to think as hard about restricting intake, or I would be, but I also just kinda wish my body would do what I wanted it to do? Why can't I get like this when I'm actually trying to lose? Why can't this be one of those "eat anything and everything, body is a black hole" cycles?
[Discussion] ED bujo?
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 95lbs | 14.29 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 20:18:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t9yhd/ed_bujo/
---
I was setting up my bullet journal monthly yesterday. I added "good restriction day" and "EC stack" to my habit tracker. I was wondering what other ED related things people put in their bujo.
I also keep track of my food daily and my weight weekly. I'm thinking of setting up an ED specific spread and I'm looking for new ideas
[Rant/Rave] Old pictures of myself are the best reverse thinspo
/u/cloudy_gaze [5'3.5" | 91lbs | 15.9 |20F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 19:32:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t9pwc/old_pictures_of_myself_are_the_best_reverse/
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Whenever I see my chubby thighs and the hint of a double chin I had at my HW, it makes me feel a lot better about my progress. I never want to look like that again.
[Help] Intuitive Eating???
/u/alexxxxis [5'9 | CW:129 | BMI: 19.2 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 19:18:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t9n22/intuitive_eating/
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In 2017 I binged and purged at least once a day and my goal this year was to stop, since it was a waste of time, food, and money. Not to mention the toll it took on my body. At some point I stopped losing weight because I fucked up my gag reflex so much that I could barely get anything out.
At first my goal was to go one day a week without b/p in January, then two days a week in February, and so on. Itās the last week of January and Iāve been successful with my goal, but those six days a week when I do b/p, itās still hell and hard to get things up.
Now my current goal is to stop binging. Usually a binge occurs when I restrict/fast all day, so Iām trying to stop counting calories and eat intuitively. The problem with this is that I forgot how to eat like a normal human; I donāt know when Iām full or hungry, I donāt know what normal meals look like, and my relationship with food is so bad I only have like one safe food.
Has anyone else tried this or successfully got out of a binge purge cycle? I donāt mind eating at maintenance for a while as long as I stop binging and purging. Once I break that cycle I can go back to restricting. My grades have dropped significantly and I lost so many friends because of this stupid disorder. I canāt keep living like this so if anyone has any tips, please share.
i bought a scale today at a garage sale
/u/reallysmallsnail
Created: Fri Jan 26 18:31:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t9dan/i_bought_a_scale_today_at_a_garage_sale/
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the lady looked at me and joked āyouāre skinny, you donāt need thatā
i am socially inept so i accepted it as a compliment and smiled but dang is she big wrong!!! does anyone else get that from old ladies all the time?
[Help] Does anybody else use their ED to get back at people? I feel so bad
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 26 18:10:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t991v/does_anybody_else_use_their_ed_to_get_back_at/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Dealing with libido loss
/u/twosidestothecoin
Created: Fri Jan 26 18:03:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t97l1/dealing_with_libido_loss/
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I've been an overly sexual person since puberty. I've had many sexual traumas but none of them have sapped my libido as much as my ED currently is. I was in a really healthy place when I started dating my boyfriend, and our sex life has been vibrant, adventurous, and fulfilling. We only get to see each other in person every couple months, so we usually sext a ton in between visits and it's always passionate when we do see each other. My bulimia (+ much more restricting/exercising than usual) has come back with a vengeance this past month, and I've felt no sexual drive whatsoever, which is SO strange for me. I can't muster it up no matter what. I'm still attracted to him, and I love him very much, but I think I'm just so fixated on fat and calories, the only thing that even begins to turn me on is the feeling of my hipbones and collarbones.
Does anyone else feel this way--the intensity of their eating disorder and their sex drive are inversely correlated? Or that feeling one's own bones is the only thing that can provide sensual stimulation for them?
Also, how do I explain this to him without hurting his feelings? Do I just have to fake it till I make it and pretend to want to have sex? Anyone know of any easily attainable aphrodisiacs?
Thx babies <3
[Discussion] What are your biggest triggers (for fasting, binging or restricting)?
/u/mina1200
Created: Fri Jan 26 17:27:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t8zyv/what_are_your_biggest_triggers_for_fasting/
---
I got used by some guy again and itās triggered quite a long, determined restricting week. I think guys in general have some effect on me for fasting or restricting.
On the other hand, for some reason going back home and being with my family triggers my binges (b/p phases). Weed also tends to start my b/p phases. I used to love smoking but this whole eating things ruined it for me. Quite sad...
Why are the people on r/1200isplenty so resistant to the suggestion that people with eating disorders post there (and are praised)?
/u/Diamondwrists
Created: Fri Jan 26 17:21:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t8yt3/why_are_the_people_on_r1200isplenty_so_resistant/
---
A little while ago, someone posted a day of eating around 1000 calories and was unanimously praised for their discipline and minimal diet. However, while the diet itself wasn't *that* bad, they were underweight in their flair and marked LOSING. Not even maintaining.
This isn't even the first time I've seen people with eating disorders post in there. And what bothers me more than anything is the *language*, things like "I can only eat 800 calories and any more makes me feel *sick*" or posts/comments about sitting at a coffee shop in the morning just drinking black coffee and feeling *powerful* and I just think... well, relatable. but I'm fucked up!
But if you dare to call them out, they are *incredibly* quick to defend themselves, saying they don't support eating disorders and that 1200 is always plenty ("of course not for everyone, but for the people in this sub" as if this is a universal truth and everyone in the sub is meant to be there). They get so defensive and it pisses me off because I clearly see disordered habits and behaviors and at the very least we realize that they're fucked up here. It's completely *normalized* there and there are some really fucking young people on there getting the impression that they should be eating 1200 cals, and as an adolescent you absolutely should *not*.
I don't know, I'm just frustrated because it seems like whenever I try to leave the ED sphere and recover, I turn around and see supposed non-ED places endorsing the behaviors I'm trying to fix... honestly, my recovery has been best when I stay here, because you all recognize the struggle and can point out the vast *negatives* that come with restriction and other behaviors. We all know it's shitty here.
Edit: How dare I criticize a disordered sub for being disordered. You know, if the users there were not disordered, they wouldn't be here to see this and wouldn't feel the need to vehemently defend themselves. It's just my personal opinion, after all. It's not gospel unless you make it so.
[Rant/Rave] Wanting to hit lowest weight before starting recovery?
/u/Chloda
Created: Fri Jan 26 17:20:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t8yh8/wanting_to_hit_lowest_weight_before_starting/
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I'm taking off a semester of school to go into an inpatient program for my ED and I've been on a waiting list for a little while. It feels so paradoxical and like I'm wasting my time, but in these weeks I've been really trying to restrict because I'm around 105 but have, since the beginning of my ED, wanted to reach 100 and I feel like I'm stuck in limbo and going crazy in this weird in-between stage of an ED and recovery. It just seems so pointless and like I'm wasting my time because I know I'm going to have to gain a bunch of weight when I go into IP but I can't stop trying to lose weight. Ugh. I mean I guess part of it is also not feeling """"sick"""" enough to go IP but I know a number is arbitrary and that's an irrational thought. Anyone else experience this before going IP/starting recovery?
[Help] New Pathetic Low
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 106 | 17.0 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 17:05:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t8v51/new_pathetic_low/
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[removed]
[Other] I went anorexia>bulimia>anorexia
/u/Just-That-Other-Guy [5'11" | CW: 146 lbs | BMI: 20.4 | SW: 230 lbs | -84 lbs]
Created: Fri Jan 26 16:35:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t8ojn/i_went_anorexiabulimiaanorexia/
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When I was about 22 or so I had a BMI of 16.5 and was pretty unhealthy. After ending up in the hospital I finally decided enough was enough and went the recovery route. I didn't step on a scale for 2 years and when I finally did I had ballooned up to a 32.1 BMI. I tried to lose the weight the healthy way but couldn't manage any kind of restriction without relapsing. My solution to this was to eat without restrictions but purge everything. When that put me in the hospital I tried to recover again. I guess on the positive side I don't purge nearly the way I used to, it might be a once a month thing now on average, so I guess that's progress but my recovery was a spectacular failure.
I'm happy that I'm out of the binge/purge cycle but no matter what I do I can't seem to make recovery work. I've returned back to anorexia pretty hard and have had a lot of days with dangerously low blood sugar but I haven't been able to use that as motivation to cut my shit out. No matter what I do I can't get over how fat I am. I hate the fat. I hate it so much more than I ever have before. I don't know if I will ever be happy until I'm at an impossible and unhealthy fat percentage.
I don't want to be this way. I don't mind the restricting or the fear foods and safe foods or losing weight, what I hate is all the mental garbage. All the obsession with food, calories, carbphobia, self loathing, genuine fear when I eat at a place that doesn't have a calorie amount and I just have to sort of guess based on the ingredients. I'm happy with myself that I'm no longer bulimic but I wish I could just have an anorexic body without all of the mental torture. Starving is fine. Feeling empty because I don't eat enough is wonderful. But the constant food anxiety and need for control, I wish that could fuck off. Can anyone relate? Has anyone managed to successfully deal with it?
[Tip] The new diet coke flavors are out!
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [ā¤ 5' 2" š CW: 99.8 š GW: 99 š 18.2 š F ā¤]
Created: Fri Jan 26 16:22:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t8lqr/the_new_diet_coke_flavors_are_out/
---
Mini review:
-------
Zesty Blood Orange: Kind of a light, cheap candy orange diet coke. Definitely a sour styled orange, not like sweet Fanta.
Ginger Lime: Tastes like watered down diet coke lime. Not bad.
Fiesty Cherry: Similar to off brand cherry coke flavors but lighter.
Twisted Mango: The strongest flavor by far. It has that flavor that many "tropical" products carry.
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Overall, they were lighter flavored than expected, minus the mango one. I do have bias since I am more of a classic Diet Pepsi fan and only drink diet coke when free, so I'd recommend trying them anyway since they're 0 cal and fairly cheap.
Preference of flavors in order: Cherry, Orange, Lime, then Mango.
They are in tall 12oz cans and have 46mg caffeine per can.
They were 79c on sale at Kroger (AKA Fred Meyer and others), but were marked as 1.19 full price on the receipt. The display was a cardboard one in front of the soda aisle.
Have any of you tried them yet? What did you think?
[Help] Laxatives and drinking?
/u/piddIepie
Created: Fri Jan 26 16:12:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t8jad/laxatives_and_drinking/
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Hey! Sorry, i'm a long time lurker, I don't know if I need to do a formal intro or not.
Basically, forgive me for the TMI, but I have not had a BM in DAYS. Literally, probably 4 days? I have celiac and even purposely glutened myself, but alas, nothing has worked. (Tried every other method that I know of too :c) I've gone up two jeans sizes from the bloating and I can't stand looking at myself anymore, so I bought some laxatives. I've stayed away from them thus far but i've been on a binge bender and it's all built up.
I digress, tonight i'm supposed to have a "wine night" with my bf and his roommates. I am afraid of shitting myself. How likely is it to actually take 6-12 hours? I bought generic CVS 25mg stimulant laxatives and took 2 (5ft, 130lbs). I really don't wanna be halfway through the night and having to sit in the bathroom for a while.
[Rant/Rave] Goodbye, progress ):
/u/thebeesknees19 [Height 5ā6.5ā | CW 100 lbs | BMI 16.21 | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 15:24:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t87rp/goodbye_progress/
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My photo is on the front page of my universityās website, and Iām trying not to fixate on how huge I look and how horrible the angle of the picture is.
I was doing pretty well mentally today and all of this week, but thatās all gone now.
Time to go up the nicotine content of my vape juice and go back to not eating. Good bye, all of my progress!
[Rant/Rave] So frustrated
/u/Stargirlml
Created: Fri Jan 26 15:05:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t837z/so_frustrated/
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I purposely have been cutting back on what I eat and sometimes missing meals while still trying to make it to the gym here and there and lose nothing. My bf sometimes misses meals bc of long shifts he works and has been making slight changes- and the occasional gym of course -and down so much so easily. Iām happy for him but it makes me feel terrible. Especially since heās close to the weight I was last time I weighed myself. š£ ugh
[Goal] After a week long plateau I'm finally under 90lbs!
/u/finnkat
Created: Fri Jan 26 14:10:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t7pfs/after_a_week_long_plateau_im_finally_under_90lbs/
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https://imgur.com/zvMG3zO
[Discussion] How many Calories a day do you guys eat?
/u/itzybitzyboo [5'2|CW:132|HW:158|GW:98|19F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 14:08:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t7oxz/how_many_calories_a_day_do_you_guys_eat/
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[removed]
[Help] Anyone have a bad experience coming off Adderall? Is it worth the potential benefits?
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 14:08:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t7ote/anyone_have_a_bad_experience_coming_off_adderall/
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So Iāve been struggling in work life and school to focus, organize things, and think in a cohesive way. Itās been difficult for years and Iām thinking of finally going to see if I have ADHD or something similar.
Iāve never been on medication before but have heard of Adderall helping people like me who canāt focus on anything or go about their day productively even when they want to. So Iām highly considering Adderall.
Iād be lying if I said I hadnāt also considered how Adderall could help me with restricting. Thatās not the primary reason Iām thinking about going on it, but it would be a plus.
My may concern is coming off it..if Iāll wish I hadnāt gotten on it in the first place. Even without an appetite suppress Iām very principled about what I eat so Iāve already made huge lifestyle changes so Adderall wouldnāt be a āquick fixā for me. Just an aid for hunger pangs I muscle through anyway. All that said, has anyone had any negative experiences coming off of it or in general wouldnt recommend it? Or if your experience has been good Iād love to hear.
My difficulty in school really is impeding me from performing my best, and so if it can help and wonāt be too difficult to get off of if I one day chose to, Iām thinking of pursuing it.
Also as a side note how hard is it to get a prescription for?
I also have IR PCOS and an on metformin so if that makes any difference
[Rant/Rave] My mind is just replaying last night.
/u/cakecakepiecake [5'3 |CW:117 lb| 20.73 | GW:95 lb| F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 13:58:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t7md4/my_mind_is_just_replaying_last_night/
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Yesterday was a horrible day. My therapy appointment was cancelled (she called in sick). Spent my lunch break driving around with my husband while he tried to figure out what to eat.
When we were driving home from work, he brought up that I complain a lot. I moved in with him 2 years ago to a city 30 miles away, and had our daughter. We were also in a bad
car accident around that time. All of those things distanced me from my friends, and I donāt really have anyone to talk to IRL.
I was crushed. He, of course, followed that with ābut I still love youā blah blah blah. He also decided we were going grocery shopping after feeding our toddler. And by that, I mean going to Walmart. I hate Walmart, and Iād rather go to an actual grocery store.
Being surrounded by junk food just stressed me out. And to top it off, husband decided to pick up fries for our daughter since she barely ate her dinner. He also joked that I was going to eat them before we got home. I was so pissed. I only ate 200 calories at work. I kept telling him I wasnāt hungry.
By the time I got back, we only had 30 minutes to get daughter ready for bed. I had to put the groceries away, wash the mountain of dishes my in laws left, and start laundry. I didnāt sit down until almost 9.
When I brought up how little I ate, my husband didnāt really react. He claimed that he ate, like, 600 calories. I mean, heās noticed my weight loss and compliments my body. But I feel like a fat lump, especially since Iāve gained three pounds since last week.
Iām just frustrated. I feel like I canāt bring anything up to my husband right now. And I donāt have another counseling appointment until March. I just canāt focus on work today.
[Rant/Rave] I don't know how to cope with sadness or tragedy
/u/bromodatchi [5'1" | 96 lbs | 18.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 13:51:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t7khg/i_dont_know_how_to_cope_with_sadness_or_tragedy/
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So my default is to starve myself!
I've been fasting since Tuesday, when I found out my grandmother passed away. IDK where else to complain about my food issues but here, so sorry if this doesn't fit.
Edit: I should also explain that I've been eating fairly regularly, like a normal human being, and this just completely threw me for a loop, and so my only way to cope was to stop eating. I was proud of myself, and now I'm upset at myself.
[Rant/Rave] Blah life sucks
/u/scrubtheground
Created: Fri Jan 26 13:10:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t7a5t/blah_life_sucks/
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August 2017: 290
October 2017: 260
(I know thatās an accomplishment. 30lbs is a lot! but never in a million years did I think 260lbs would be a āgoalā)
The holidays threw me off and I just kind of went back n forth from 260-270.
Iām 5ā3 btw
Today: 255
(again, I canāt celebrate this)
Lowest: 130
(thanks to travel softball and competitive cheerleading for 10yrs, I was a rock)
Goal: to keep on losing, for now
In college my weight went up and down and up
and down. I could lose weight just as fast as I put it on and in large amounts.
I got really depressed and a medication made me not give a shit about anything except eating and sleeping. That took me well over 200, nearing 250. I switched meds and actually gave a fuck but I think I refused to believe it. Even though I cared, I binged my way to 290 to cope with the bullshit in my head.
In HS and college, I did everything, fast, binge/purge, laxatives, water pills, over exercise.. I havenāt had a regular period since I was probably 13. Or metabolism for that matter. š
I donāt feel like I belong to this sub bc Iām so overweight. Idk itās weird. I pretty much just starve. If it werenāt for thanksgiving and Christmas- basically all of December Iād probably be.. idek.
Iām just down on myself and I donāt want to turn to food. But why the fuck canāt I be happy with a 35lb weight loss? Even at my lowest it was never enough. This is by far the most I need to lose and so help me god Iām going to do it. But when is it ever enough?
Ugh Iām so embarrassed to even post this bc I feel like Iām being a whiny little (huge) bitch...
[Discussion] DAE have weight loss rewards as things they really need?
/u/somewhatsub [5'1" | CW 132 | BMI 25.1 | GW 100 | HW 142]
Created: Fri Jan 26 12:34:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t70fc/dae_have_weight_loss_rewards_as_things_they/
---
Like for me I have:
120- heated blanket
110- pair of shoes (mine are falling apart)
100- bed frame
I donāt know why but being slightly inconvenienced everyday makes me really motivated to lose weight! Itās like Iām not allowing myself to live fully which is kind of messed up... idk dae do this?
[Discussion] DAE make weight loss rewards for things they really need?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 26 12:33:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t705l/dae_make_weight_loss_rewards_for_things_they/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone else refuse to look at their weight??
/u/ntagasf15685
Created: Fri Jan 26 11:38:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t6lzs/anyone_else_refuse_to_look_at_their_weight/
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I refuse to look at scale. I know if I do and I didn't lose as much as I wanted or worse gained when I've been fasting I'll jump off a cliff. I go by my inches and how loose my clothing have gotten. Anyone else do this?
[Help] How often should I update my weight on MFP?
/u/Ifukitallthetime
Created: Fri Jan 26 11:35:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t6l9j/how_often_should_i_update_my_weight_on_mfp/
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[removed]
[Help] Tips on bouncing back from a high calorie binge?
/u/Throwaway412160987
Created: Fri Jan 26 10:53:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t69xu/tips_on_bouncing_back_from_a_high_calorie_binge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] [Discussion] DAE fixate on things when looking at other people?
/u/birdsbirdsbirds339
Created: Fri Jan 26 10:14:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t5zkn/discussion_dae_fixate_on_things_when_looking_at/
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I take a crowded train to work a lot so I see a lot of people grabbing on to loops, rails, etc. to stabilize themselves. I always find myself fixating on bony wrists and slim fingers... DAE?
[Other] MyFitnessPal
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 26 09:55:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t5ugr/myfitnesspal/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I just saw the doctor today for an annual checkup.
/u/ppyeosae [62in | CW 100lbs | BMI 18.95 | GW 95lbs | UGW 85lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 09:45:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t5rlj/i_just_saw_the_doctor_today_for_an_annual_checkup/
---
Mainly because I havenāt been to the doctor in years, and my fiancĆ© told me it would be wise to get some blood work done since weāve both gone vegan recently.
Iāve never been to this doctor before, it was on campus, and they made me face away from the scale and everything and took my height and what not.
So. Apparently Iām 5ā1ā, not 5ā2ā and I weighed in at 95 pounds. Iām excited that itās 95, but when I weighed myself at home this morning I was 100 pounds.
How can there be so much difference between two scales? At home I strip down naked but at the doctors office I had clothes on.
I donāt know which scale to trust anymore ><
edit: The nurse also low key told me that I needed to gain weight because my BMI is 17.9 (for their records).
[Discussion] DAE here feel like you can't be happy when you're alone?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 141 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 09:31:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t5o4t/dae_here_feel_like_you_cant_be_happy_when_youre/
---
This isn't really ED related, but I wanted to discuss this with you all because I had an important realization recently, and I'm hoping that sharing it could help someone here.
I recently realized that I feel like my actions don't matter unless they make another person happy - e.g. if I compose a song, even if *I* enjoy making it and listening to it, it only matters if I share it with someone else. Does anyone else get this or relate to this? This feeling of myself being inherently worthless has been so pervasive in my life that I can't even enjoy playing video games alone anymore because I feel like it's a waste of time because it's a solitary activity. But now at least I know. And I'm going to work on it and try my best to believe that my own happiness is just as important as anyone else's. I hope this speaks to you all, too! Because it was a really important realization for me.
[Discussion] Opinions on ED Recovering Celebs
/u/eatdrinksmokegreen [5'4" | 107.5 lbs | 18.4 | -62.5 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 09:21:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t5lf8/opinions_on_ed_recovering_celebs/
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So, I'm all for recovery... Yes, please. If you can get your brain out of this constant and at times debilitating cycle of food/weight anxiety, do it!
But my god, I am so sick of celebs, like Demi Lovato, constantly blasting all this body positivity and fat acceptance nonsense. It's gross. And it's fucking annoying.
These are the same celebs that have been flaunting unobtainable standards for years and now suddenly, oh, I'm sorry, I was sick then. I'm so much happier gorging myself and getting fat. I mean sometimes I feel gross about how I look but this is soooo much better.....
Yeah, okay. No thank you.
[Help] Flu-like symptoms day after binge??
/u/InterestingPiano
Created: Fri Jan 26 09:18:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t5koq/flulike_symptoms_day_after_binge/
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Had a shit day yesterday and ended up binging last night...around 4,000 cals..tried to make myself purge but was unsuccessful (ive never been able to)
Anyway today i feel absolutely AWFUL. Im shaky, feel feverish, am nauseous...but still cannot make myself vomit. Has this happened to anyone else? Im vegan so i dont think i got food poisoning or anything
[Discussion] What do you do when youāve eaten all your calories for the day waaay earlier than intended?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 26 08:44:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t5bup/what_do_you_do_when_youve_eaten_all_your_calories/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE go mad because of TDEE calculators fluctuations
/u/figuredhood
Created: Fri Jan 26 08:22:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t56gi/dae_go_mad_because_of_tdee_calculators/
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So apparently I canāt even eat at 1500 when I get to my GW of 106lbs at 5ā5.75.
If I enter my body fat percentage around 18%-17% I have to eat almost at 1400 to maintain at sedentary.
W T F HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAINTAIN 12% BODYFAT AS A FEMALE WHOāS NOT A BODYBUILDER
Well aight sure thatās a lot compared to what Iām eating now but...how are people shorter than me and weighing less supposedly maintaining at 1500???
Sure Iām gonna exercise but my knees are already fucked, and the most I could do is to 1700 so whatās the pointĀæĀæĀæ
Boy a binge is calling, I just want to keep punching myself till Iām completely black and blue (that burns calories too right haaa)
JFC how do yall deal with this, itās so discouraging :(
[Other] i will
/u/til_wednesday [5'8" | CW: 110 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 08:13:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t54bv/i_will/
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i deleted myfitnesspal.
i ate breakfast today.
i will learn to love my body.
i will eat bagels and full-fat lattes.
i will not overindulge until sickness.
i will spend my next few years within the confines of a film school, not a hospital room.
i will buy cute underwear and clothes and makeup and movies and cd's with the money i save on laxatives and caffeine and supplements and binge/purge food.
i will make my boyfriend and family proud.
i will not be cold anymore.
i will not faint in the school bathroom anymore.
i will not blow my paycheck on diet cokes at the vending machine anymore.
i will do it.
i will recover.
goodbye.
[Discussion] Let's talk about moms
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Fri Jan 26 08:02:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t51rj/lets_talk_about_moms/
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My mother, as I suspect may be true for a lot of us, is better off not called as such. She's the type who dropped out of college to have babies with a man she didn't love, and who didn't love her, because she was afraid of being alone. She could barely legally drink and she had two kids she couldn't take couldnt take care emotionally, and then financially, because my father (but that's a whole other type of issues) couldn't resist the urge to spend money he didn't have.
When we lost our house, I was... anywhere between five and nine (my therapist says i'm so unable to recall dates with any precision is because of years of emotional trauma) years old, and she got worse from there.
She had always been unstable. Mental illness runs in our family, and she didn't believe she needed her meds. Every generation of our women have had at least one who just couldn't cut it.
Before me, that was my mom, and now, it's me.
She's always been quick to anger and critizcim, especially toward me. My brother, though not immune, was her golden child.
The words worthless, stupid, incompetent, and crazy we're constantly applied to me for as far back as i can remember. I can't count the number of times she has told me to my face she hates me.
She got worse still once my dad finally got lost with a younger guy.
Of course, to me, that was a relief. I no longer had to hear their midnight screaming matches.
But she took out all those negative feelings on me, though, while my brother, only twelve at the time whilst I was ten, had to take on the role of emotional caretaker for both of us.
two years later when she caught me purging for the first time, she smacked the shit out of me and verbally betrayed me until I was in tears.
Two years after that, when I weighed 67lbs and nearly died, all she could do was bitch about the hospital bill. My grandmother took out a ten thousand dollar loan, a fact my mother will never let me live down. Similar to that, every bite of food I consume in a binge is carefully added to my tally of collateral damage, and she reminds me how selfish I am for being sick.
She's fond of telling me I use my eating disorder as an excuse to binge and purge.
She's prone to fits of anger in which i fear she'll hurt me or herself. She throws things and yells, and though beyond a scattered collection of smacks to the face, she's never really harmed me.
I'm terrified of her. Our relationship is distant and cold, and everything a mother should teach her daughter, I gleened here and there watching other girls and scouring the internet.
She is controlling and paranoid to a fault.
I'm nearly 18, and she still freaks out if I want to take a walk. Both myself and my brother are strictly forbidden to date, because she is still single. Going out with friends is a hostage negotiation scenario.
Every thing I do she attacks and counteracts. She wants to write my whole life out for me, and she wants it to be the same loveless life of poverty and loneliness, forever in this dead end town, that she has had.
That sort of turned into a rambly mess, and I apologize for that, but how's everybody else's mother? Do you think your parents contributed to your ED? Your upbringing in general?
And is anyone else afraid of ending up repeating that cycle?
[Rant/Rave] Sort of ED related
/u/Throwaway412160987
Created: Fri Jan 26 06:37:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t4jcs/sort_of_ed_related/
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So we went to the mall, and I saw that Sandro was having a sale. Iāve been wanting to get something from that brand FOR SO LONG. The quality is just amazing. So I went in, and oh goody. The service was great, barely lifted a finger. So i ended up buying this gorgeous silk printed top. But it was $200. 200 fuckin dollars. Gone, just like that. After a while it really got me thinking. The pricetag really depressed me. Oh but it doesnāt end there, my fatass BINGED. And ended up getting a frap and went waaay over my maintenance. Honestly I wouldnt mind getting into a coma for 2 weeks or so. I need a break from life yāall š
Edit: went and got a minbon, 2350 calories total. Fml.
[Discussion] DAE get super bingey after purging?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 131.2 | BMI: 25.7 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 06:12:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t4ekh/dae_get_super_bingey_after_purging/
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I find that every time I purge during the day, by dinner time Iām fucking ravenous and could eat everything in the house. I counteracted it yesterday by just eating at āmaintenanceā (below maintenance, but idk what I retained from the lunch I purged so I just kept it in MFP) but still went to bed so hungry. What can I do to avoid this? Obviously not purge, but if I do fuck up, how can I keep myself from binging later? Is it just because my stomach feels so empty? Has anyone else dealt with this?
[Rant/Rave] Potential TW: Under the metric system, I'm under three digits again :')
/u/Violets11 [170cm | CW: Land Whale | GW: 50KG | F | -13KG]
Created: Fri Jan 26 06:00:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t4cc6/potential_tw_under_the_metric_system_im_under/
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I still struggle with Mia^TM; the restricting/binging w/ occasional purging. Since changing birth control and upping my restriction, I've lost about 13kgs; most of this happening within the last month ;_;
I don't think anyone else in my life really understands how glorious this feels and I wanted to share it here. Thanks for reading if you did much love to this community
[Discussion] January 26th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 05:15:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t44st/january_26th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What did you need more of today?
Hijacking my post:
Fucking drugs, man. I have been so depressed lately, and my mood stabilizers are not cutting it. Yesterday I had to go home in the middle of the day because I had a bipolar breakdown and spent the rest of the day crying on my couch. I donāt know how Iām gonna make it through work today.
Also, my fwb and I had a deal that we wouldnāt actively look for other people while we were ātogetherā (like if we met someone irl that would be different) but Sunday morning (he cooks me breakfast and makes coffee how I like it and shit) *and* after we had sex, I saw him right next to me on a dating app. Like WHAT THE FUCK at least do it when Iām not there. So obviously Iām depressed and not good enough and am only going to eat SF jello for the rest of my life bye
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! January 26, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 26 05:13:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t44dz/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for January 26, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 26, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 26 05:12:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t44dn/daily_food_diary_january_26_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 26, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Food that is hard/easy for purging
/u/__charlotte_
Created: Fri Jan 26 04:40:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t3z9u/food_that_is_hardeasy_for_purging/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does your bf/gf know about your ED? How does it affect your relationship? If not, how do you hide it?
/u/richnskinny [5ā8 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 03:45:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t3rf2/does_your_bfgf_know_about_your_ed_how_does_it/
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Is it worth hiding?
this guy I like, likes me back and wants to be my bf. Idk how I could hide it... I literally donāt eat LOL. Maybe 1 thing per day and thatās it. He likes eating out but when i eat something ābadā it triggers me and upsets me so much that I feel like shit and need to purge And even start feeling nauseous.
But If he knows I donāt want it to turn out bad like something that really worries him like a burden. To me itās not a big deal. Iāll start maintaining after I lose 10...
[Other] How much shirataki noodles do you eat?
/u/KingOfBelarus [Height 5'10 | Weight Lost: never enough]
Created: Fri Jan 26 03:44:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t3rew/how_much_shirataki_noodles_do_you_eat/
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BE HONEST.
now i learned to love them i'm gonna go f***ing crazy. gonna eat 'em almost everyday. my wallet can go to ED hell.
[Rant/Rave] I want my old ED back.
/u/shapay199
Created: Fri Jan 26 03:19:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t3o4g/i_want_my_old_ed_back/
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This is such a horrible thing to say, but itās the truth. My current torture of choice is binging every time I donāt accurately weigh everything and then purging it when I can, and suuper light restriction, and even though I donāt weigh myself atm, I know this makes me gain. I used to be a fucking masterfaster (lol), and it wasnāt even hard. Last January, I ate less days than I didnāt. And no I wasnāt perfectly happy but I at least felt alright-ish with myself. I keep telling myself that I can get back into that swing but the longest Iāve lasted without a binge since that time was like two weeks. WHY CANT I FAST LIKE THAT ANYMORE. Now all I can manage is doing 1200 but contrary to all tales, this doesnāt stop the binging, and when I do binge, it takes forever to counteract it with such high restriction. My therapist wants me to eat close to 2,500 cal ābecause Iām a student and I need energy for my brain.ā GURL I AM 5ā2ā DO YOU WANT TO MAKE ME INTO A WHALE? Iām not even close to underweight I really donāt get it. She wants me to stop wishing to be at the lower end of a healthy BMI because supposedly itās impossible to be successful in school and skinny at the same time. ??? I wish I could just go back to the moment last year when I first purged and began binging more and stop myself, Iād be skinnier than ever and not in therapy being more conflicted about myself than before. Fuck all of this :(
/rant; going back to drinking black coffee and praying Iāll never eat again
[Help] For those in recovery, does therapy help with getting intuitive eating back?
/u/Banana-Ghost [169cm | CW 61kg | GW 54kg | 20F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 02:27:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t3h2e/for_those_in_recovery_does_therapy_help_with/
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I can't remember the last time I could eat intuitively. I am working with a therapist atm and will soon have the help of a dietitian.
[Rant/Rave] Reality decided to interrupt me mid binge
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 133.8 | GW 105 | SW 135 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 02:07:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t3egr/reality_decided_to_interrupt_me_mid_binge/
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Today hasn't been a good day.
I ordered two sushi rolls for lunch, both of which I regretted after and immediately ended up purging.
For dinner I was still feeling guilty about lunch so I just had some bites of my roommate's dinner, which was so spicy it was torture to eat.
Then I finish work, I'm not even hungry but I decide to punish myself by eating a bunch of desserts. I go to the grocery store, get my items and partway through my friend who I've had a crush on for ages tells me how he likes another girl. Excellent.
Nothing like increased depression to kick in my ED more
[Rant/Rave] Back on my bullshit
/u/yaboifreud [F | 5'5 | CW 102 | GW 95]
Created: Fri Jan 26 01:20:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t38co/back_on_my_bullshit/
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I tried doing the recovering thing, I know it's what's best for me. But fuck it's hard and the thought that goes in to constantly reminding myself to do better and eat more and be healthier depletes my energy and makes me exhausted and miserable.
Anyway, I'm resubbed here because I'm back on my bullshit and because fuck, I'm tired of trying. I know this community can be a trigger but I guess that's what I want. Sometimes I just don't care if it kills me, I can't stand looking at my gross body anymore and eating gross amounts of gross food.
Oh yeah ps. I have a job at a restaurant now so if any of y'all who work pretty demanding jobs have any tips for 1. Keeping from passing out 2. Flying under the radar when eating small portions (or not eating) free meals, send them my way.
[Rant/Rave] Intermittent Fasting šŖ
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Fri Jan 26 00:50:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t34du/intermittent_fasting/
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Has anybody else tried IF?
I doubted it until I started it today! Not only did I make it the ten hours I planned on to start with, Iļø actually couldnāt force myself to eat until 17 hours in, it is phenomenal and feels so light and uplifting!
Nyone else? <3
[Rant/Rave] Excited but nervous
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Thu Jan 25 23:17:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t2qqt/excited_but_nervous/
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[removed]
just wanted to share
/u/NegligentLadylove
Created: Thu Jan 25 22:15:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t2gc1/just_wanted_to_share/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Weirdest/worst places for lanugo? [Discussion]
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 118 | GW: small | F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 21:57:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t2cuf/weirdestworst_places_for_lanugo_discussion/
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I noticed tonight that I have an unrelenting amount of lanugo all over my damn face, so that's great. When I first read about lanugo as a side effect, I just assumed it'd grow on my arms or back or someplace else I don't care about. But now I have little blond fuzz on my cheeks. And nose. And chin. Fuck me.
What are the most unfortunate places you guys have discovered these hairy surprises?
[Other] TW breakups & binge eating
/u/sweet_kiwii [5'6 | F | CW 48kg | GW 40kg]
Created: Thu Jan 25 21:28:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t2781/tw_breakups_binge_eating/
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repost for the trigger warning
I binge/restrict alot. Two weeks ago my boyfriend dumped me and I've been having the hardest time. I've been heavily restricting (apart from drinking a truckload of vodka, but at least its low carb) and yesterday I just lost it.
I sat in the bath crying watching law & order and ate like half a frozen cheesecake. After restricting so long I couldn't finish it. I knew that I'd try and finish it later so I sprayed it with perfume to stop myself from eating it.
This morning I got more nasty messages from him so what did I do? I ate the fucking perfumed cheesecake. I kept eating it. Even though it taste like perfume. I secretly hope it makes me sick enough that I don't eat for the next month.
Has anyone else done something like this or am I actually insane :(
[Other] The human brain is a silly thing
/u/leberef [5'10 | CW big | SW even bigger | GW 120 | M]
Created: Thu Jan 25 21:27:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t2733/the_human_brain_is_a_silly_thing/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Went to outpatient treatment today. It was more triggering than helpful.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 25 21:21:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t25tf/went_to_outpatient_treatment_today_it_was_more/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t25tf/went_to_outpatient_treatment_today_it_was_more/
[Other] My boyfriend dumped me and I ate perfume coated cheesecake
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 25 21:17:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t250q/my_boyfriend_dumped_me_and_i_ate_perfume_coated/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Protein powder?
/u/kaelidoscope [5'0 | CW 102.5 | GW: 90 | 20.87 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 20:30:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t1vig/protein_powder/
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Hiya guys, would you be able to recommend me a protein or collegan powder to combat thinning hair? I've tried taking biotin supplements alongside my daily multivitamin pill but unfortunately they cause me to break out. I didn't notice until today how thin my hair had gotten and I want to prevent it from getting any worse and hopefully improve the state of it if possible. I do try and eat protein everyday so I'm not entirely sure if the hair loss is due to my birth control pills or restriction and not enough protein (I restrict pretty high, around 800 to 1000 cal/day) but any advice is welcome!
[Goal] Me_irl
/u/You-Key-Oh-Me-She-Ma
Created: Thu Jan 25 20:28:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t1v6u/me_irl/
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http://i.imgur.com/YWw1ovZ.png
[Thinspo] Heyo
/u/rhiannonwilliams
Created: Thu Jan 25 20:00:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t1pbc/heyo/
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https://i.redd.it/v7jmr3txubc01.jpg
[Help] How do I get drunk for as cheap and as few calories as possible
/u/KissMySlitWrist [Moo]
Created: Thu Jan 25 19:39:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t1kop/how_do_i_get_drunk_for_as_cheap_and_as_few/
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I don't drink but now it's legal for me to so why not add alcoholic to the already long list of why nobody likes me.
[Rant/Rave] I have not been wanting to eat this week.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 25 19:04:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t1cwv/i_have_not_been_wanting_to_eat_this_week/
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[deleted]
[Help] Tips on how to stop checking the scale so frequently?
/u/fatgirlfunk
Created: Thu Jan 25 18:55:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t1b0b/tips_on_how_to_stop_checking_the_scale_so/
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Hi everyone! I've been lurking here forever ā my weight has always been up and down but this time I'm determined to keep it down for good.
It's my first week, and I know that most people tend to lose more the than average during their first week due to water weight and their body adjusting to the change (Iāve lost 5lb already!)
The problem is that I can tell that my behaviour is getting more obsessive ā I check the scale multiple times throughout the day, Iāve been watching shows like my 600lb life, Fit vs Fat, etc. and constantly reading forums and subreddits even though I have other important things to do. I feel like all of my thought and energy is going into this, and I donāt necessarily want all of it to be as itās at the expensive of other things.
Any tips to get me to stop checking the scale so often? I keep reminding myself that Iād be more happier to see a large drop once a week than a small drop day by day, but it hasnāt worked.
[Rant/Rave] This has me fucked up
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 25 18:25:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t14eu/this_has_me_fucked_up/
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https://imgur.com/8iAres2
[Discussion] ideal binge?
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Thu Jan 25 18:22:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t13te/ideal_binge/
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so today i planned a binge for july and I was wondering?? what are you guysā ideal binges? mine are usually sweet and carbs (lots of pastries and donuts) plus ice cream usually!
what does your ideal binge look like?
(discussion flair pls)
[Discussion] 20 days into restricting to about 800 calories a day - burn 700 - 900 cals a day in cardio, my weight went down to 136 & bounced back up to 142 lbs, now 140 has anyone else experienced this and if so, how long of exercising and cal restriction did it take to start dropping weight and keeping it off?
/u/lo_cat
Created: Thu Jan 25 18:17:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t12qt/20_days_into_restricting_to_about_800_calories_a/
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https://i.redd.it/nyovdegmcbc01.jpg
Lol i wanna eat 1000 Cal's but going over 800 gives me anxiety
/u/miryksisbae
Created: Thu Jan 25 17:39:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t0u7u/lol_i_wanna_eat_1000_cals_but_going_over_800/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What are your weird personal food rules?
/u/Gawa-Gawa [182cm | BMI 19.0 | GW 17.0 | 20F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 17:37:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t0tnf/what_are_your_weird_personal_food_rules/
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I've seen some off-the-wall "rules" in my time online, what are your personal ones?
[Help] Which body part is least likely to bloat/retain water?
/u/vitalogy95 [5'5" | CW: 155 | BMI: 25.79 | GW: 115 | HW: 176]
Created: Thu Jan 25 17:35:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t0t7i/which_body_part_is_least_likely_to_bloatretain/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What do you guys do to āfeedā your pre-binge high? The moment before going to 5 places to obtain food. Just wanted to open up a discussion about this!
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Thu Jan 25 17:30:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t0s7b/what_do_you_guys_do_to_feed_your_prebinge_high/
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Boyfriends going away this weekend. The pre binge brain has begun. āI have all weekend to B/P whatever I want in secret! What should I get!?!?! Where should I start!?!?!āāED š§
Iāve been good allllllll week! Just coffee and dinner! If I binge, I KNOW Iāll regret it, but I canāt stop these racing food thoughts, I just keep mentally planning and hating myself. Iām hungry in my mind, not my stomach.
How have you guys stopped this phase ? I canāt do menial tasks to take my mind off of it, I just think too much!
Letās talk! š
[Intro] I found the first season of ANTM on Amazon Prime and I smashed that mf āBegin Fastā button so quickly
/u/reallysmallsnail
Created: Thu Jan 25 17:25:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t0qvl/i_found_the_first_season_of_antm_on_amazon_prime/
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Guess Iām back on my bullshit again. I made a new reddit account so I can hang out with you pals. I hope your days are lovely.
If I ask to tag this as an i intro, can I stop using proper caps??
[Help] Bought some cute underwear to feel better about myself.... and none of it fit, please help
/u/susantemp471649
Created: Thu Jan 25 17:03:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t0lq8/bought_some_cute_underwear_to_feel_better_about/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Shopping help/safe foods
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 200 | GW1 199 | UGW 120 | 34.5 | 25 F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 16:33:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t0f0a/shopping_helpsafe_foods/
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Mods: Not sure if this post is ok or not, so please delete if its not!
I'm trying to quit bingeing, which on its own sounds good! But it means that I have no "safe foods" because I'm used to just shoving everything in my face. I'll be going shopping this weekend for healthy/low cal foods, and some supplements. My normal basket would have all kinds of sugar based or high cal or easy to make convenience foods. And in the past whenever I did buy healthy foods, they would just go bad.
So I guess I'm just looking for ideas on what to buy that will help me keep losing (and how to make them), avoid bingeing (or at least way less often), and any supplements that would be helpful with restricting.
[Discussion] DAE not eat to not have to deal with their feelings & emotions?
/u/mina1200
Created: Thu Jan 25 16:00:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t06oz/dae_not_eat_to_not_have_to_deal_with_their/
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I feel like I just have so much bottled up inside that would be released if I just ate normally again. Thereās so much Iāve pushed down and away that I donāt want to deal with, and not eating helps me not have to deal with it, I guess. My castle has no proper foundation but thatās ok. Having this sense of control feels too good.
[Discussion] Anyone else have their weight yoyo in the 1st stages of weight loss? Was down to 136 and back up to 140.. when will the true weight start to come off? Iām usually at a 1000+ calorie deficit per day after cardio, and donāt eat more than 800 cals, when did you all start to see REAL loss and no yoyo?
/u/lo_cat
Created: Thu Jan 25 15:54:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t0590/anyone_else_have_their_weight_yoyo_in_the_1st/
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https://i.redd.it/c5jav5z3nac01.jpg
I heard skinny for the first time in my life
/u/snaafuuu [5'3| 188 | 34.41 | -16.7 | 22F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 15:54:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7t057p/i_heard_skinny_for_the_first_time_in_my_life/
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So I have a naturally small waist so I donāt look as disgustingly overweight as I actually am. But I asked my coworker for a quick meeting and when she sat down she said āYou look so skinny, is that the Keto?ā
Well I DID just start Keto but Iāve also been restricting like crazy and hearing āskinnyā after one of the most painful fasting days ever, my resolve is solidified and my day is fucking GREAT.
Sorry but I had to share I have the biggest grin on my face right now.
[Rant/Rave] I JUST WANT TO POOP
/u/little_chicken_wing [5ā5ā | 112.2 | 18.7]
Created: Thu Jan 25 15:04:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7szsba/i_just_want_to_poop/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I feel sick after eating
/u/desperatetogo [165cm | CW: 63 | GW: 45 | -5 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 15:01:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7szrhg/i_feel_sick_after_eating/
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I skipped school today bc my mental health is really destroying me so my mom tried to cheer me up and got breakfast with me. I had a normal, not too big breakfast and when I got home I felt so physically sick but I know I can't throw up so I'm just sitting here feeling sick until it passes I guess. On one hand I'm sad that I can't eat a normal meal anymore but on the other hand I'm glad that I can't so I won't eat that much again.
[Help] help with meal planning?
/u/xlaaane
Created: Thu Jan 25 14:52:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7szp2v/help_with_meal_planning/
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[removed]
[Goal] Lowest weight in months!!
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 200 | GW1 199 | UGW 120 | 34.5 | 25 F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 14:05:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7szce8/lowest_weight_in_months/
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OMG! I woke up at my lowest weight since I hit 208 in June and I'm 1 lb away from my first goal weight and spitting distance from onederland. Hopefully I wake up under 200 tomorrow!! 8 lbs down, 80 more to go
[Other] Update: āyāall ever take a laxative and it didnāt work for a long time?ā
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5ā4ā | cw 118 | gw 110 | bmi 20.7]
Created: Thu Jan 25 13:43:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sz6j6/update_yall_ever_take_a_laxative_and_it_didnt/
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[removed]
Halo Top no longer in UK Tesco.
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 13:29:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sz2k8/halo_top_no_longer_in_uk_tesco/
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I'm genuinely distraught. It was my birthday yesterday and only two people mentioned it. I received no gifts and was rejected from a job today. Two friends cancelled my only birthday dinner arrangements and I just wanted to go home and eat some ice cream I wouldnt have to throw up and it was all gone from Tesco. All the labels were gone also, apart from one that showed it at 50% off which makes me think they were clearing the shelves to not stock it again. What the fuck.
[Help] How much water weight do you usually retain before your period?
/u/vitalogy95 [5'5" | CW: 155 | BMI: 25.79 | GW: 115 | HW: 176]
Created: Thu Jan 25 13:06:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sywh6/how_much_water_weight_do_you_usually_retain/
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I havenāt had my period for a while but for the past two weeks - despite eating 1000 calories or less with a TDEE of 1800-1900, Iāve lost nothing.
I think my period might be coming so Iām really hoping Iām just retaining water, but how much water can you really retain due to PMS?
[Discussion] What are some good decaf drinks that are zero calorie that fill you up? :)
/u/hollowedheart_ [5'7" | CW 126 | GW 125 | UGW 120 |]
Created: Thu Jan 25 13:05:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7syw77/what_are_some_good_decaf_drinks_that_are_zero/
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Let me know what you like! I can't drink caffeine because of my chronic illness (really sucky) so let me know what drinks you recommend or like!
[Help] Weight fluctuations after purging - I am going INSANE
/u/oneblueboot [5' 7.5" | CW 120 lb | GW 112 | 26F | š: oneblueboot]
Created: Thu Jan 25 12:56:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sytom/weight_fluctuations_after_purging_i_am_going/
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So, I had a pretty bad day yesterday and the day before that - I ended up purging several times throughout each afternoon, which is not super normal for me. Throat still hurts, I feel gross, all that jazz. It sucks.
But the absolute worst part was getting on the scale this morning to see a number that was TEN FUCKING POUNDS more than the number I saw two days ago.
Now. Iām a reasonable person. I take full responsibility for eating more in the past few days than I have been all month. I donāt doubt that thereās a chance I put on a little bit of weight. But ten pounds?!?! Somebody please talk some sense into me. Explain this miracle of physics. Can this really be mostly water retention? Glycogen stores? Or did I really manage to gain all that weight in 48 hours?
Will I see some return to normalcy once I get back into my usual routine?
[Rant/Rave] I'm Trying to Recover ,,,,,,
/u/bunntendo [Height5'7 | CW130 | BMI21 | GW115 | GenderNB]
Created: Thu Jan 25 12:13:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7syi0v/im_trying_to_recover/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So that happened.
/u/ReversedHierophant
Created: Thu Jan 25 12:07:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sygc3/so_that_happened/
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So I have some fairly unorganised though when it comes to food. I love it. Too much.
Lately I've been back on the "diet" bandwagon. Keto for the second time. In the hopes it will get my binging under control it got 40lbs off me last time.
I just put it all back on being a fat pig and eating everything in sight.
So cue to today, now I normally never had an issue with my "regularity"
Normally I go every morning without fail.
Until last week.
I panicked seeing the scale freeze or go up simply because my body was literally holding o to everything I ate.
I decided to get some laxatives. The first I did was the weekend, I had one. Nothing. Took two more, WHAM but I was at home so I didn't need to worry.
However... I took one last night, did nothing until about 9:30 this morning... sitting at my desk , I get that cramping feeling... I hold on until break and go. All is well.
Until lunch. I hadn't had any more cramps. I thought I was done. Until I left the office and headed up the road I to town when it happened.
It was like someone had poured custard down my pants and there was nothing I could do but waddle back to the office and to the bathroom.
Luckily I always have baby wipes so clean up was easy but I feel somewhat mortified.
So that's the story about how I, a grown adult, shat myself.
[Rant/Rave] Losing weight from the flu
/u/little_chicken_wing [5ā5ā | 112.2 | 18.7]
Created: Thu Jan 25 11:11:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sy0vi/losing_weight_from_the_flu/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Welp, guess Iām not telling husband after all.
/u/Chubbywaif
Created: Thu Jan 25 10:12:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sxkjk/welp_guess_im_not_telling_husband_after_all/
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Heās noticed Iāve lost weight but doesnāt realize how quickly itās been. Last night we were talking about weight and some stressful things, and he was complaining about his body image and how heād gained 20 lbs. I literally opened my mouth to come clean about my heavy restriction and he said āI just feel like thereās always some crisis with you.ā
Guess Iām keeping it to myself; Iām both disappointed and relieved heās not going to stop me. Iād hate to be a fucking burden.
[Rant/Rave] Going shopping left me down on myself
/u/supergirlofsteel [Height 5'3"| CW 134 lbs | BMI 23.7 | Weight Lost 30 lbs]
Created: Thu Jan 25 09:19:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sx66t/going_shopping_left_me_down_on_myself/
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I finally gave in and went out to buy a new pair of jeans as mine were big on me. Took me long enough. I went from a size 10 to a size 8. Yet the whole time I felt so disappointed and disgusted with myself. No matter how much weight I lost I'm still fat. I've been maintaining ~130 for way too long but even restricting hasn't cut it. Hopefully my new workout routine will work.
[Rant/Rave] My ex is dating a girl who looks very much like me -- but thinner
/u/mz_ed
Created: Thu Jan 25 09:05:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sx2fo/my_ex_is_dating_a_girl_who_looks_very_much_like/
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We broke up in September. She has the same skin tone, hair color and green eyes (which I've been told it's something only 2% of the population have). Only she's shorter than me (I am the same height as my ex) and a lot more thinner/athletic.
My friend sent me a picture of they together and I'm devastated. I guess her being shorter and thinner makes him feel more masculine in a way, I guess? I'm just here feeling like a huge, sad potato. Good thing is I'm already down 2kg/4.4 lbs since I saw the photo. I wish I could lose weight till I physically disappear.
Thanks for reading.
[Help] What is the best sub for feedback on looks?
/u/build-the-house [5'6" | 130 | -50]
Created: Thu Jan 25 09:00:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sx10p/what_is_the_best_sub_for_feedback_on_looks/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] ED logic:
/u/elttil_snatas
Created: Thu Jan 25 08:47:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7swxx9/ed_logic/
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[removed]
Restricting while working a very active job?
/u/queensolver
Created: Thu Jan 25 08:08:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7swnx6/restricting_while_working_a_very_active_job/
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Wondering if anyone else out there has to figure out how to restrict while working a very active job. I was successful at restricting a few years ago when I worked in an office/drove around all day -- but I can't quite seem to get there now that I work in a busy restaurant and am on my feet for 6-8 hours a day. Would love anecdotal advice -- hate all the fat I've put on.
[Help] Yall ever take a laxative but nothing happens?
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5ā4ā | cw 118 | gw 110 | bmi 20.7]
Created: Thu Jan 25 07:50:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7swjdn/yall_ever_take_a_laxative_but_nothing_happens/
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I took 3 ex lax bars yesterday 24 hours ago (because I hadnāt pooped for a full day) and literally nothing has happened...no poop at all š£
Why!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Snowball Logic: ED Edition
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Thu Jan 25 07:22:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7swd1q/snowball_logic_ed_edition/
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I have a terrible habit of subscribing to a very toxic, all or nothing, black and white mentality that constantly convinces me of untruths and assorted madness.
Spilled a glass of milk? I am clumsy-> I am a burden to everyone around me -> I should kill myself.
Bae hasn't answer me? -> Bae doesn't love me -> that means he hates me -> I should kill myself.
Seeing a common pattern?
Anyway, today (last night actually, but I only slept for a few hours so it feels like today), I stood on the scale, and it read 85lbs.
My mind took it and ran;
I weigh 85lbs -> that's almost 90 -> 90 is almost normal -> normal is fat -> I don't get to eat today.
*cue sad music*
the extra crazy part is, i'd never look at another 85lb 5'2" person and think they're fat.
[Rant/Rave] I donāt know what to do anymore.
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword
Created: Thu Jan 25 07:15:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7swbpb/i_dont_know_what_to_do_anymore/
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Iām in such a bad place mentally these days. Being mean to myself all the time. Saying mean things to myself. Focusing only on eating and how much I hate myself.
Today I ate a lot more than I planned. Slash I didnāt plan I was just gonna let myself eat and now I regret it all. I regret everything. Itās too late to purge and I even tried and couldnāt do it.
My friends left to the bank without me after I told them I needed to come and I burst into tears. Like what the fuck Iām not a child Iām an adult why am I crying idek.
I didnāt pay for or get my drivers license because my friend failed her test and I didnāt want to make her feel bad. I donāt know the next time Iām going to be able to get that done because Iāll be on base for 2 weeks on Sunday and idk if itās open Friday where I live.
My living situation is a bit strange - I live with a group of people and one of them is my ex who Iām still confused about because it was a complicated situation. Anyways. I saw him for the first time in a month today and he comes to my room and I was all confused and then he made a comment about heās so horny and that absolutely crushed me because I knew he was up there to get with me not because he actually cared about chilling with me.
I donāt know what to do. Iām so miserable and I donāt know how to handle this. I want to binge. I want to purge. I want to starve. I want to cry. I want to sleep. I want to ignore it and move on. I want to dwell on it and wallow is self pity.
I donāt know how to fucking function anymore. Iāve never been in a lower worse place.
[Help] Feeling super conflicted
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 131.2 | BMI: 25.7 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 07:08:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7swa2q/feeling_super_conflicted/
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So I haven't been willing to go out to a restaurant with my boyfriend in probably 2 or 3 months because I'm just too afraid of the calories. We haven't gone out for drinks either because, calories. Basically, we have been sitting at home, and it led to a fight the other night.
So last night we decided to go out to dinner. I had a regular dinner; I even had some bread and a beer, and then we went out to go play pool and I had another drink there. We had the best night that we've had in weeks. I had so much fun and I ended up eating right around maintenance.
So now I'm starting to think that my eating is negatively affecting our relationship because the one night that I said 'fuck it, having a good time with my boyfriend is more important than being skinny', it worked. We had such a good time and we were even intimate afterward. He was so loving and affectionate and it's making me question everything.
What can I do to resolve this? My issues with food are still very real and I'm still planning on eating under 1000 a day and avoiding restaurants wherever I can, but if it's affecting him this much not being able to have a good meal and a drink with me, I'm starting to think that this disorder is a lot more visible than I had ever intended it to be.
Should I just try to relax and set aside a day a week where we do something like this? I am so conflicted because I still have 25 pounds to lose and the selfish part of me doesn't want to ruin it, but I still love my boyfriend more than I love restricting and now I'm starting to feel so selfish, disgusting and inconsiderate.
[Rant/Rave] I am so pissed
/u/EvilSheepUprising
Created: Thu Jan 25 06:55:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sw77z/i_am_so_pissed/
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Yesterday I made steak and roasted potatoes. It was delicious. I saved the leftovers in the fridge for todayās dinner. Now theyāre gone. My retarded should-have-been-aborted fucking asshole piece of shit of a brother ate them.
To give him the benefit of the doubt, if our mom made/bought it, itās fair game. But I fucking labeled it. My name was on it. It clearly belonged to *me*. Plus he laughed when I got upset and called me a bitch. And when I started silently crying (didnāt want to but I couldnāt help it) he laughed again like it was the funniest thing in the world and called me a selfish slut. I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW
I just came back from a 12km run and was really looking forward to my only meal for the day. It was my rock. It was literally the only thing that kept me going. And now itās gone. Festering in his disgusting, undeserving, blubbery stomach. I wish heād die. In a car accident perhaps. Or of some horrible disease. 20% of my problems would be gone if heād just disappear.
I guess the only upside to this is that Iāll be upgrading my intermittent fast to a full on fast. I wasnāt planning on doing another one this month, but Iāll let my hatred fuel me. 5 days should be good. Fml man. Gee now that I think about it it wouldāve been a quintillion times worse if Iād been fasting and heād eaten the food I was hypothetically saving. Jesus now I need contingency plans for future fasts ugh
Also upon reading this I realise how bratty/entitled I may sound but Iām just really really angry right now so please excuse me. I think my angerās justified though, isnāt it? :(
[Help] Where can I find ECA stacks in Canada
/u/unecessarilymargie
Created: Thu Jan 25 06:41:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sw4al/where_can_i_find_eca_stacks_in_canada/
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[removed]
[Discussion] January 25th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 05:44:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7svtj6/january_25th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What makes āyouā you?
[Rant/Rave] DAE else really wish for smaller packages?
/u/kein-08-15
Created: Thu Jan 25 05:21:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7svpmd/dae_else_really_wish_for_smaller_packages/
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So Iām kinda annoyed atm. Every time I buy some candy Iām normally āsick of the tasteā (or letās say Iām not craving it anymoreā) after some pieces or bites) but the package is still half or 2/3 full and Iāll end up finishing it. I donāt even want to finish it but somehow itās impossible for me to leave candy or carbs in general in my flat because Iāll eat them within 48h hours. I feel so bad so sometimes I just throw the package away wasting perfectly good food. I would really love some smaller packages that are just half as big or even smaller than the normal ones you can buy (unfortunately we donāt have a lot of things that come in snack size as Iād like here in Germany). Because Iām going to buy some candy anyway when Iām really craving but like this I wouldnāt waste food and money. I donāt know but the topic upsets me right now š.
Edit: yes I made a mistake and it should be only DAE without the additional āelseā. Oops.
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support January 25, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 25 05:11:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7svnwi/weekly_emotional_support_january_25_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 25, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 25 05:10:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7svnpp/daily_food_diary_january_25_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 25, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Trying OMAD - Advice requested
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 03:56:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7svc09/trying_omad_advice_requested/
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So my logic is if everything other than dinner is forbidden then:
* I'll never be tempted??
* I'll never have to rationalise!
* I'll have a nice meal with my husband and he'll be happy š»
How do you guys keep yourself going throughout the day? My job doesn't require the highest amount of brain power, but I do need some fuel.
I'm so frustrated. I keep yoyoing the same five pounds
/u/manateens
Created: Thu Jan 25 02:06:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7suw33/im_so_frustrated_i_keep_yoyoing_the_same_five/
---
I fell back on the restricting train about a month ago and I've had 2 days at maintenance, 2 weeks sub 500, and 2 weeks around 900. Yesterday I binged on about 3000ish (estimated not weighed) calories and went back to my starting weight a month ago.
Every time I get to 159 I wake up the next day at 161 minimum, even if I'm fasting that day.
Every time I eat near what should be my maintenance it goes up. And i know water can be really heavy but it doesn't come off.. there is no woosh. I exercise like a fiend until I'm coughing and puking at the gym. I take cold showers and Epsom salt baths. I drink tons of water and keep my electrolytes up but every time I let myself eat a normal fucking meal it goes back up and stays up. And now that I binged once I've lost every ounce of progress plus another half pound. I want to believe that its water weight. I want to believe that its impossible for me to have gained 5 pounds in a day. But if my weight goes up at 1100 a day and doesn't come off then I have trouble believing 3000 isn't going to cause massive real fat gain.
My SO wants me to go to a doctor to be checked for thyroid or cushings but at 5 weeks of tracking they're going to laugh me out of the office. Or they'll see how much I eat and spew bullshit about starvation mode.
I checked my scale and it's accurate, I log everything, I log diet sodas and broth and tea and spices. theres nowhere for calories to be hiding in my weighed bowl of raw spinach and teaspoon of fat free honey mustard. There's nowhere for calories to be hiding in a packet of oatmeal and water.
I'm just so tired and so frustrated and I'm so sick of being the fat girl in any room. I'm tired of my effort amounting to nothing. I'm tired of having food on my mind 24/7. I'm tired of "recovering" and eating "normal" amounts and going back to 160-180 every time. I'm tired of the fact that my SO is my height and eats four times what I do and doesn't go to the gym and loses 20 pounds by cutting out soda while I run and starve and purge when I do eat and stay the same fucking size.
I just want a fucking normal relationship with food.
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I really hate being asian
/u/flightlesspotato [5'5 | CW: 127 | 21.0]
Created: Thu Jan 25 01:44:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7susxe/sometimes_i_really_hate_being_asian/
---
I've posted this as a comment on another post before, but writing this made me realise how much my ed has to do with my race so I decided to add on a little more and turn it into a full-fledged rant.
I'm East Asian living in SE Asia, so I've had that body comment thing going on not just from my parents but from a lot of the people around me as well. The main reason why I developed an ED was because my dad controlled my diet from the age of 9 for about 7 years. He never let me finish my food and would always state the calorie count and ask me whether I really wanted to eat that. He would also pinch my arms and stomach with no warning and say how disgusting I am, and this extended to jokes about my weight from my relatives at family gatherings. I would always be asked about how much I weighed in front of large tables of people and everyone would act shocked at how I could weight 155lbs at 5'5.
Now I've lost weight, and I'm about to move to America in about 8 months for college. You'd think that after losing about 30lbs the comments would stop, but no. My mum told me to keep an eye on my weight when I move out. That felt bad enough until my dad said "yeah, she'd *better* not gain weight". How am I supposed to not develop issues with comments like that almost everyday?
Not only that but when I lost so much weight, people mostly congratulated me and looked right past my thinning hair and cold hands. Some people knew how I lost weight but even then they didn't care. They didn't care that I was eating only 2 rice balls and a cup of miso soup a day, because crazy dieting is so normal here.
Most of my friends are still at least 22lbs lighter than me at an average of 105lbs. Even after all the effort I've put in, I'm still not good enough because I'm still the heaviest in my group of friends. If you guys watch any videos on youtube where they ask asians about their ideal weights most of the time it would be at an underweight BMI.
Don't get me wrong, I am proud to be asian, it's just that the toxic mentality that we have when it comes to body image is just so overwhelming. To all my fellow asians on this sub, here's a fucking pat on the back to us surviving while growing up in toxic environments and having to deal with unrealistic body goals while being dismissed because *asians just don't have mental illnesses.*
Ok sorry rant over that felt good.
[Goal] Mfp goals
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 200 | GW1 199 | UGW 120 | 34.5 | 25 F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 01:42:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7susof/mfp_goals/
---
I really hope I can keep my eating under control and lose weight on track with MFP's predictions. It keeps saying I'll be high 180/low 190s in 5 weeks which is a good 10-15 lb weight loss. I'd love it even more is I was out of the 190s for my bday!!
[Rant/Rave] 100 ā¤ļø
/u/elizasbreath [162cm| CW 45.5kg | GW: 40kg | -17kg I 18F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 01:40:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7suse8/100/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE feel shitty...
/u/Lady_Kohai [5'1"|CW 103.4 | UGW 80 | 20F]
Created: Thu Jan 25 00:04:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7suegr/dae_feel_shitty/
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Specifically when psople say "I like a girl who loves to eat" it makes me feel so humiated and ashamed inside because of my God awful relationship with food. I don't know, maybe one of you can put it into better words?
[Rant/Rave] Too many calories! Scared of getting fatter!
/u/katheriiiine
Created: Wed Jan 24 23:41:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7suame/too_many_calories_scared_of_getting_fatter/
---
[removed]
[Help] How to survive a two day fast?
/u/fuckincaillou [5'6 | 128 | BMI: 20.7 | -22lb]
Created: Wed Jan 24 23:14:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7su66q/how_to_survive_a_two_day_fast/
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[removed]
Pep talk for avoiding a binge. Wish I would ve found this Before I binged today, but oh well, note to future self. Get that self-love.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 24 22:51:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7su25s/pep_talk_for_avoiding_a_binge_wish_i_would_ve/
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https://www.fitwoman.com/blog/the-binge-eating-diaries-bingeing/amp/
[Discussion] I feel like such an imposter
/u/ObservingSilence
Created: Wed Jan 24 21:51:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7stqsr/i_feel_like_such_an_imposter/
---
Anyone else feel like this?
[Discussion] Just used my phoneās face recognition function to look through 13 years worth of selfies, dressing room photos, and random group shots. *So many surprises.*
/u/theteaiscold
Created: Wed Jan 24 21:05:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sth52/just_used_my_phones_face_recognition_function_to/
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Holy SHIT you guys. Iām not an idiot so I know my weight has fluctuated a lot...but seeing the physical evidence all together was a massive shock because Iāve only sometimes had access to a scale. I learned that every 12-18 months (and occasionally more oftenāonce, 2.5 times in one year) I was stuck on a cycle of rapidly losing then rapidly gaining 50-100 pounds. For more than a decade.
Looking through the photos, I realized how out of touch Iāve been with reality. Iāve been obese and thought I was thin. Iāve had a few friends in my life that were obviously fat at the time (secretly believed that they were the ādesignated fat friendā) but I had NO IDEA that at that exact moment I was much, much heavier than the āfat one.ā
Iāve also been thin and thought I was a huge fucking cow. I think of my āthin erasā as two very specific little periods of time...Iāve actually been very thin about a dozen times.
Has anyone else done this and been shocked by it?!
[Rant/Rave] Just got back from vacation from my best friend
/u/flaaffyusedthunder
Created: Wed Jan 24 20:36:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7st9pu/just_got_back_from_vacation_from_my_best_friend/
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My best friend is a tiny, petite little Asian girl. We got poutine and shared it for a meal. I actually stopped eating early because I recognized my full signs (!!!). Her response? āYouāre arenāt going to finish it? I know how much you can eat.ā
Every time we passed a dessert place/chocolate store (I love sweets), sheās say, āhey, flaaffyusedthunder, do you want to stop and get [xyz thing that I will binge on]?ā
She KNOWS Iām bulimic. She knows I struggle with binging. I am so disgusted with myself. It feels like she wants me to be fat :( I canāt even cope with what I look like in the mirror right now.
[Help] Why so I get super powerful/specific cravings late at night?
/u/myrtlewils0n [5'4 ā¾ cw:123 ā¾ gw:108 ā¾ 21F]
Created: Wed Jan 24 20:30:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7st8ch/why_so_i_get_super_powerfulspecific_cravings_late/
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Last night it was avocados. Tonight it's corn chips and queso. Is it my body craving salts or something? And why is it not during the day, but instead hits me at 10:30/11 o'clock at night???
Worried about your teeth as a bulimic?
/u/twosidestothecoin
Created: Wed Jan 24 20:25:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7st6wn/worried_about_your_teeth_as_a_bulimic/
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I'm going into the dental field as a career, so ever since I started throwing up 6 years ago, it's terrified me what it might do to my teeth. I've also gotten a fair amount of cavities on the inner surfaces of my teeth, and have always been scared my dentist will know what they're from. Most of us know you're not supposed to brush right after throwing up, because the acid makes the surface layer of enamel soft and the abrasion from the toothbrush wears away severely at your enamel. Some probably know that rinsing your mouth out with water just spreads the acid around on your teeth.
The dentist at the office I work at was doing an exam on a pregnant woman, and he asked her if she had been having morning sickness because she had acid etching on the inner surfaces of her teeth. He said that when you're throwing up regularly, what you need to do immediately after is swish with baking soda. So take half a cup of water or so, mix in a tablespoon or so of baking soda, and swish for 30 seconds. This neutralizes the acid from the vomit, and protects against degradation of your teeth. This obviously does not ameliorate the effects of regular vomiting on your stomach and lining of your esophagus, but it can at least help preserve your teeth.
Life changing for me.
Disclaimer: this is not medical advice, just a friendly tip.
[Rant/Rave] I'm Dying Inside, I Just Need To Vent [RANT]
/u/Flesh_Daddy_
Created: Wed Jan 24 20:00:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7st0di/im_dying_inside_i_just_need_to_vent_rant/
---
The left side of my mouth is down turned and the right side is upturned. I've been trying to train my face to life that side of my mouth more, then my left eyebrow sits higher than my right. So I have to lift my right brow to compensate. THEN, my right eye is noticeably smaller and the skin above the lid hangs way lower. I end up looking like fucking Igor trying to flirt with Dr. Frankenstein no matter what I do.
I'm also 5'4" and stocky. I'm built like an ox used for plowing farm land. I'm the epitome of big boned. Im at a normal BMI for my height and still look huge. My pores are ENORMOUS and I have acne at 22. It probably won't ever go away and even if it does, I still have the acne scars and acne pox to keep my skin looking *interesting*. I'm loud, I get excited about things and I just about yell constantly icing on that cake is I know my voice is annoying as fuck
It just made me realize that no matter what I do, I'll never be dainty and beautiful and slender. I'll never be graceful, I'm clumsy and I constantly break things, every movement I make just makes me look like Sloth from the Goonies trying to drink water with a spatula.
I'm so damn sad. Even when I lose more weight, I'll still be this heavy handed monster. I saw a girl the other day visiting my fiancƩ's racing shop and I was so sad. She was beautiful. She had perfect skin, perfect teeth, a smile to die for. She was skinny and had a good sense of style. And it kinda killed me inside because I bet my fiancƩ was just thinking "I could've probably had someone beautiful like her. Guess I'm stuck with the fucking screaming boar". He probably fixated on her for the whole day or maybe still is. His dad was practically drooling over her.
I'm just so sad. I'll never be beautiful. I'll never be happy. I want to die.
I post food/ grocery/ recipe ideas!
/u/lifeizsweet
Created: Wed Jan 24 19:57:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sszon/i_post_food_grocery_recipe_ideas/
---
https://youtu.be/zboGuQ-0ueo
[Help] Every month my period knocks me out, I just want my hormones and body to disappearš
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Wed Jan 24 19:43:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ssvui/every_month_my_period_knocks_me_out_i_just_want/
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For around 7 months or so my period has been knocking me out. I binge so much leading up to it and I can not control it. Itās really strange though....itās not a mental intense exciting manic binge, itās like my body disables my mind to allow my period to happen? Like it makes me eat, not really binge mode, just free eating but wayyyyy to much, often feeling like I need tons of natural fruit juices and just food to live. Idk really how else to explain it but itās not mental, itās physical. I know my binge mode and this is different. I hate it so much.
Then a day before it starts I get severe migraines, canāt get out of bed and am sick to my stomach for days. Like my body wants to die.
This has never been a thing for me. I feel like my body is forcing this process on me every month. I know I sound crazy but I just want it to go away. Itās like I feel not sick enough that I still have it. I never want kids, I would never want to pass my mental illness on to anyone. I just want this to end. I canāt take this anymore.
[Rant/Rave] Why am I doing this?
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 135 | GW:120| SW:140 | F21]
Created: Wed Jan 24 19:36:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ssu69/why_am_i_doing_this/
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I know my depression and anxiety are the reason that my relationship with food is so fucked up... but why do I need this? Why do I need to make myself feel faint and in pain and empty in order to feel distracted from all the shit going on in my life? I know its not gonna make anything better, but if I'm not hurting somehow, I feel like I should be. I'm so lonely, and I feel like I have nothing going on for me, noone in my life who truly understands me, and those who do, I run away from. So that begs the question... why am I like this???
MyFitnessPal
/u/ohnoshemelted
Created: Wed Jan 24 19:35:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sstqe/myfitnesspal/
---
[removed]
[Help] It's getting hard being a person
/u/ntagasf15685
Created: Wed Jan 24 18:36:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ssbiz/its_getting_hard_being_a_person/
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I wish I was a tree or a bird or something. Being a person is becoming too much, I can barely do anything. It's all too much. I just want to be thin and happy. If I were a bird I wouldn't have to worry about that or anything.
It's been a while
/u/Uppity-Kitten [5'2" | CW: 69kg |BMI27| 6kg| GW50kg | 21F]
Created: Wed Jan 24 18:33:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ssawj/its_been_a_while/
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So I got between obsessing over food and obsessing over sex. But I got majorly... slapped in the face today.
I'm going to Neko Nation in March. So I'm making a rave outfit. My mum took my measurements and said ".... It's not too bad, but I think we can do better than that."
On reflection it probably isn't /that/ big of a deal. But I almost burst into tears. I'm no where near my goal weight and too depressed to do anything about it.
I'm sorry
[Help] 'It won't hurt, I'm on vacation' mentality
/u/sjanebrock
Created: Wed Jan 24 18:28:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ss9ox/it_wont_hurt_im_on_vacation_mentality/
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So I'm going out of town to Tampa tomorrow. Every other time I've gone out of town I end up eating over my daily limit, and justifying it to myself on the premise of :
'I'm on vacation, this is special, just eat this once'.
Then I regret it instantly!! Does anyone else do this? I've been at a plateau at 110 lbs (5 "4), So I've been restricting a lot to break through it and get down to my GW of 100. I can't let this trip set me back! Do you guys have any advice? I won't be able to weigh myself so I'm terrified of gaining and finding out only once I've gotten back on monday. I know I'll be surrounded by all my forbidden foods and might not have access to my safe foods.
My family and friends also likes to double down on the 'Treat yo self' things when we are on vacation. Eating and hating myself for it doesn't sound like a treat it's a punishment!! I have such a hard time hiding my habits from them, especially at resturaunts, and we will be eating at them everyday. Call me officially triggered at.
Goodbye digital food scale, accurate calorie intake, and bathroom scale.
Hello resturaunts with hidden calories, peer pressure, and fast food purgatory.
Wish me luck and advice
[Rant/Rave] I messed up
/u/irrevocably_damaged
Created: Wed Jan 24 18:11:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ss5pn/i_messed_up/
---
I purged for the first time in years and it wasnāt even an insane meal.. just half a plain chicken breast and some broccoli but for some reason I got the familiar feeling of my stomach twisting into a knot and just went on autopilot.
I donāt know if itās because Iāve been restricting heavily to 250 and my stomach just didnāt want anything above that. I kept wanting to stop in the middle of it but my body wouldnāt let me.
Not expecting any responses just wanted to kind of get this off my chest because I only ever considered myself really ādisorderedā when I was purging. I hope this was just a bad night and not a sign of things to come.
[Rant/Rave] This IS my normal.
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Wed Jan 24 18:08:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ss54z/this_is_my_normal/
---
I cannot fathom ever eating normally. I have never been acquainted with that idea. My whole life, I watched my mother eat her feelings. I listen to my father insult and degrade her on the basis of her size. I watched my aunt, so pale and thin, never eat with my cousins and boast about her daily seven mile runs. I compared my body to my peers from the moment I started school.
I will never forget the anger on my mother's face when, one of the many times I tied a belt around my waist to look thinner, I got stuck and needed her help to get out of it.
I will never forget the wonder I felt staring at headlines about which celebrity was anorexic now, or the spark of fire watching that girl on Glee lose her damn mind.
I'll never forget all the times people told me how skinny I was, but how I never saw it for myself.
It's been five years now.
I've been through therapy, inpatient, IOP, and I've never once felt even the slightest inclination toward anything able to be called normal.
This is just ingrained in me, I think. A fault in my code.
Body image issues and fascination with eating disorders have been present in my life for as long as I can remember. After I took the fatal plunge and purged for the first time, I feel like it was a nail in my coffin. I don't even *want* to recover. I want to want to, but I don't. Even when I, during my freshman year of high school, was nearly a martyr to it. I feel so broken and envious seeing so many posts about getting better and knowing I will in all likeliness never be there myself.
I've never been any other way.
I doubt if I ever will be.
[Discussion] Does anyone else have SO many clothes but nothing to wear?
/u/ilikecocoakrispies [5'1 | HW: 140 | CW: 135 | GW:100 | š:kyoops]
Created: Wed Jan 24 17:32:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7srwsi/does_anyone_else_have_so_many_clothes_but_nothing/
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I have a closet full of nice clothes but they're all too small. Half from when they used to fit and half I bought to wear when I'm "skinny again" (or so I say). I literally just wear a sweatshirt and leggings every day.
Also it doesn't help that my skinny roommate borrows all my clothes and they look ridiculously good on her. :(
Edit: I love shopping but I don't really buy clothes that actually fit well because that feels like accepting my current weight is normal. Ugh.
[Discussion] Fake eating
/u/plaidbumpercar
Created: Wed Jan 24 17:25:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7srvab/fake_eating/
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Does anyone else pretend to eat? Like leave a bowl and spoon in the sink, or even better your room, to make it look like you had cereal? Or just open something, anything, and hide the food at the bottom of the trash but make sure the wrapper is visible? My parents probably donāt even notice things like that but I know when my mom ātakes inventoryā before going to the grocery store, if all the food she bought prior is still there, sheād know. I feel bad wasting the food, but if I were to throw it up- it would still be wasted and I *haaaaate* throwing up..
8 lb gain in 2 days...
/u/booberryapocalypse
Created: Wed Jan 24 17:16:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7srt61/8_lb_gain_in_2_days/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Intuitive eating?
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 106 | GW: idk | F]
Created: Wed Jan 24 16:30:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7srhdx/intuitive_eating/
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Does anyone just eat intuitively and not count calories? Did you ever count calories? Howās it going for you?? And if you have any tips you have to share, anything at all, Iād love to hear them.
Iām your typical binge/ restrict type of gal. I havenāt binged in months, but only because I started getting more obsessive about counting calories and now that Iāve started counting, I canāt stop. Analyzing and calculating every little thing hurts my brain so much sometimes I wish I could just cut it out of my head. I just wanna enjoy life and be free :(
[Tip] Remember This the Next Time You Get Down About That Flab When You're Sitting.
/u/NotYourAverageTomBoy
Created: Wed Jan 24 16:16:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sre5s/remember_this_the_next_time_you_get_down_about/
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https://i.imgur.com/ahLCxDk.jpg?1
I feel hopeless
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 120 | 21.6 | not a girl]
Created: Wed Jan 24 15:50:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sr7uy/i_feel_hopeless/
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Nothing original to say. I restrict like a mofo and haven't even weighed myself to see if I've lost weight, but I see people skinnier than me which makes me depressed, which means I am a failure no matter what.
Especially because I'm close to a size 0, I realize there are dozens of people walking around me who are smaller than a size zero.
I was shaking and having millisecond blackouts (from too many stimulants) when I was considering doing another EC stack but I decided to have 2 slices of pizza and a bowl of chips because I will always be fat so who cares?
...predictably, I'm fighting The Urge To Purge rn and even told my friends so but no one cares.
Even when I lose weight I just look like a smaller version of my fat body. I want to have straight down arms and straight down legs, I want a masculine/androgynous shape, but my body won't do that. Fuck it all
[Thinspo] male thinspo aka I love hands
/u/hellojoshua [5'6 | UGW: 114 | M]
Created: Wed Jan 24 15:29:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sr1fe/male_thinspo_aka_i_love_hands/
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https://imgur.com/a/60mGx
[Tip] Skillet/Stovetop pan Cloud bread! (info in comments)
/u/reviic [ā| 5Ā“1.5 | 114lb | BMI21 | HW: 130lb | Trans boy19]
Created: Wed Jan 24 15:06:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7squwh/skilletstovetop_pan_cloud_bread_info_in_comments/
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https://i.redd.it/zo74scmk93c01.jpg
[Help] Getting to 100.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 24 15:04:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7squdp/getting_to_100/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7squdp/getting_to_100/
[Rant/Rave] I'm an inch shorter than I thought I was.
/u/aerienne [5'4" | CW: 139.0 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Wed Jan 24 14:33:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sqm1c/im_an_inch_shorter_than_i_thought_i_was/
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[removed]
[Other] Sometimes, being honest about my issues has paid off.
/u/ScreamAndScream
Created: Wed Jan 24 14:26:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sqjst/sometimes_being_honest_about_my_issues_has_paid/
---
https://i.redd.it/l4abkj4d23c01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My husband brought these beautiful danishes home and I'm ugly crying.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 24 14:26:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sqjs1/my_husband_brought_these_beautiful_danishes_home/
---
I know he did it purposely. As soon as he pulled up in the driveway he started snickering about something. He pulled them out the bag and said, "lookie what I got!" I hate him. Hate. Hate. HATE. He is beginning to understand/see I have a weird relationship with food now. He told me I could have one they were only 210 for one, then he laughed and said, "oops 210 for 1 serving, they are 2.5 servings for one."
I'm a grown woman, but, I just started breaking down and crying and he was just smiling and thought it was funny the whole time. Then he started all that bullshit abusers do saying, "you can't be mad at me, why are you mad, you have no reason to." All that bullshit.. That's when I knew he got them purposely, to watch my shitshow.
I'm just irrationally angry right now. It's so sad I let food do this to me. It consumes my life whether I'm eating or not. I broke down and had a fit as if I was a child not getting dessert. Every little thing is just setting me off now.
I miss the days where I could just eat and not think twice about it. I wish I could just enjoy food again. I wish I could sit on the couch with some snacks again and just enjoy myself. Why did it have to come to this? How did I get like this?
I just want to curl into a ball and cry myself to sleep.
[Discussion] I can't imagine getting older and doing normal adult stuff with an ED
/u/ci-fre [5' | 70 lb | ~14.4 | F | gaining/semi-recovery]
Created: Wed Jan 24 13:44:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sq7rh/i_cant_imagine_getting_older_and_doing_normal/
---
Um, so these are basically my thoughts. I just wanted to get them off my chest in a community that would be more likely to understand them, you know?
I don't really think I can imagine life *completely* without the *effects* of an ED? I mean, I think my self-recovery/harm reduction attempts are going pretty well, or at least they're progressing without much mental anxiety. However I don't think I'll ever fully recover. I've heard this idea several times before (the idea that eating-disordered people don't truly recover for good; rather, they go into remission) actually.
What I've been thinking about is that there are many things that normal adults seem to do that seem absurdly impossible to me because of my attitude around food. For example, I would probably get really anxious having an SO; I've only had one relationship in my life so far and it was long-distance before we broke up, so it's not like I really know the answer to this, but I feel like I would keep on thinking about my SO's body or eating habits or something.
Or things like having a family and raising kids. I guess it *is* a challenge for every parent, but I can't imagine "modeling" healthy attitudes towards food and body image with a child if those things make *me* anxious, y'know? I feel like I'm the kind of parent who would probably cause my own children to develop eating disorders themselves, and then when they're older they'll probably be on their generation's equivalent of proED complaining about me XD. Nor can I even imagine *cooking* for other people and not feeling tempted to put in tons of calorie-dense stuff to make them fat, or feeling anxious in general.
Idk. I hope this isn't annoying to read or something; I just wanted to spill my thoughts about this.
[Discussion] DAE love those "eat tons of food" shows? Lol
/u/Roseemacculate02
Created: Wed Jan 24 12:54:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7spuby/dae_love_those_eat_tons_of_food_shows_lol/
---
It's like they're eating for me! I always feel too full to eat anything after watching them and I enjoy watching someone else enjoy food lol, so messed up. Although I CANNOT do the same with baking shows, I end up making cookies or something terrible. It has to be like "world's biggest burger" ect.
Also, how the heck do they eat like that without being obese and having heart attacks ?? They must be doing something to be able to eat that way?
[Rant/Rave] Just sipping from a mug of hot water with hot sauce here at work, having a meltdown about my body [another long self-pitying rant]
/u/Size666 [5'8F | CW: Walrus | -43lbs | UGW: 113]
Created: Wed Jan 24 12:53:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sptxo/just_sipping_from_a_mug_of_hot_water_with_hot/
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**TL;DR: Feeling like shit about my fat lumpy old body because I got drunk last night and spent hours staring at myself in a mirror, really seeing myself without the dysmorphia that has presumably kept me safe from the mental breakdown I'm having right now.**
Went to a bar last night with my (young, tiny) coworker and the area we snagged had a full length mirror across from us. I spent the entire night looking at my reflection, becoming more and more horrified about how much larger I am than her (not just being about 6 inches taller than her, but she's incredibly thin and I am incredibly not).
I feel like I was seeing myself as I really am for the first time, and I think I understand why my brain has been tricking me into thinking I'm Not That Fat^TM . It was devastating to see the reality of my body in such painful detail. Not seeing myself through the warped lens of a selfie or IG angle or lighting playing tricks with shadows, I registered how fat my face has become, and how wide I really am. Not just that my hips are wide, or that my waist is wide compared to my hips, I mean overall the main part of my body, sans limbs, is WIDE. I have nothing that could be considered a feminine figure. I saw all the lumps of fat I always think I'm so cleverly hiding under my clothes, jutting out prominently in areas where my colleague's physique held no such issue. My back. My arms. Around my bra strap. Spilling over my pants. On my thighs. Pooling onto my lap. That was the worst part. I saw the uneven sag of my body being weighed down by the amorphous blubber that pools around the backs of my arms, my lower back, my stomach, especially the bottom half, where my belly button is, and my chin. My strong beautiful jawline, my only saving grace, covered in fat. My face, puffy and distorted by a thin layer of lard making my eyes seem smaller than they are. I could see how much my body was struggling to keep all this fat off of the ground. It's all sagging downward and no matter how much I think I'm sitting upright (I have a thing about my posture), I always look like I'm slouched forward. My legs look like they were cut and pasted from a normal body - they don't make sense. My head looks too small on this body. My breasts look far too small too, compared with my overpowering stomach.
By the time the night was over, I was literally shaking with anxiety, barely holding back tears. I'm still barely holding them back. I'm so aware of the way I walk now, how I *shuffle*. The way I'm sitting, collapsing onto myself. The slight struggle to stand. How my clothes fit, how much bulk my clothes are adding to an already bulky physique. The amount of space I take. The aches that seemed inexplicable but are clearly a result of holding all this weight on my body for so long. What I must look like to all these normal people around me.
I've posted here so much, always refraining from really admitting to you guys and to myself just how large I am. How unhinged I've become. I am almost 200lbs and it is all in the middle of my body. I have lost so much weight but it wasn't enough, I'm still a blob and it's devastating to admit this to myself after so much time struggling and trying and working at it and failing over and over and over for literal years of my life.
I am disgusting. I am objectively disgusting. I give myself a pass about being single because *I don't want that drama anyway*, but last night I had to face a harsh truth: even if I wanted someone in my life, who would want me? Why would any sane individual worth meeting actually allow himself to be held down by the sack of disgust that is currently holding me down? My clients that always ask my colleague for their opinion on something I've already answered - of course! How could they trust me when I can't even keep a basic human shape?
Sorry, this is really long - feel free to disregard. I guess I just needed to vent in a way that embarrassed me because it feels more real that way. It isn't news that I have to stay away from food. I guess maybe I just didn't *see* just how bad it was because I wasn't letting myself.
[Discussion] Watching my old self eat right now and feeling better
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 93 | 18.4 | -21| F]
Created: Wed Jan 24 12:47:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7spsal/watching_my_old_self_eat_right_now_and_feeling/
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I'm in a chair at the library, collapsed here between classes because I felt too faint to make it back to my dorm. It's empty here except a girl that sat across from me for some reason.
I'm trying to mind my own business but she's brought out a bottle of coke and a bag of cheese pretzels, which happens to be exactly what I used to binge on in the library between classes. (exactly 1,000 calories if you eat the whole bag, which she has, and I would've)
I've been fainting all week, but I'm 4 lbs down from last week, and I am a lot thinner than her. I've been craving cheese or soda or something but seeing her, and she's at least twice my weight at the same height, I don't want to go back to that. It's not worth it. It is surreal though.
[Thinspo] kpop body inspo
/u/hajerx
Created: Wed Jan 24 12:30:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7spnrg/kpop_body_inspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/HKmJ9
kpop body inspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 24 12:17:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7spk69/kpop_body_inspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/HKmJ9
[Other] Body simulator ?
/u/littlejanedoe- [5'2" |CW:120lbs | GW:115lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 24 11:23:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sp56e/body_simulator/
---
A while back someone posted a boy simulator site/app. I am too lazy to look for it.. does anyone remember what it was ?
(you put in your height, weight and a few measurements and it created a 3D visual of your body.. in blue if I remember correctly)
Thanks
[Rant/Rave] When I finish eating, I'm hungrier than when I started!
/u/renewtheplaintiff [5'2 | cw: ~101 | gw: 90 | F23]
Created: Wed Jan 24 11:09:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sp0yl/when_i_finish_eating_im_hungrier_than_when_i/
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**Me:** Hmm I'm not too hungry right now, but maybe I'll be a responsible human and eat a balanced, plant-based, ~300cal healthy lunch.
*eats lunch*
**Stomach:** Ohhhh, *now* we're eating. Hyohohoho. Why not eat all the things! ALL the food! Insatiable hunger, fuck yeah! You're not planning on getting full, right? Lololol why'd you even start?!
*binge mode kicks in*
^ Happens all the time. I may as well just continue restricting. The feeling I get after my healthy meal is worse than starving beforehand.
[Help] Restriction and heart rate
/u/oxygens_overrated [5'4|HW:150|CW:141|LW:113|GW:125 |F|]
Created: Wed Jan 24 10:41:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sot5j/restriction_and_heart_rate/
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Iām on hour 55 of my fast, and Iāve noticed that my heart rate it quite high when Iām walking around my uni campus. I had to climb a few flights of stairs to get to one of my classes and I realized I was breathing very heavy and my heart was pounding. Is this something that happens with restriction? Am I just out of shape haha? Also Iāve been drinking propel and taking vitamins, is there anything else I can do to make sure Iām not losing electrolytes or being unsafe in general?
[Other] āWhat eating disorder?ā
/u/Chubbywaif
Created: Wed Jan 24 10:19:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7somwy/what_eating_disorder/
---
https://i.redd.it/byoj0mybu1c01.jpg
[Help] Allergic to Bronkaid, any ideas?
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 149.6 | GW: 118 | -16.6 | F24]
Created: Wed Jan 24 09:51:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sof8j/allergic_to_bronkaid_any_ideas/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] DAE watch Grey's Anatomy?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 141 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 24 09:51:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sof7r/dae_watch_greys_anatomy/
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I've started rewatching the series, and I am noticing for the first time how skinny Meredith and Christina are. They are good thinspo. Especially Meredith because she's 5'7", and I'm 5'9", so she's a little more relatable, if that makes sense. What do you all think?
[Discussion] DAE feel more energised when they don't eat for a long time?
/u/MeelinFelo
Created: Wed Jan 24 09:49:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7soepo/dae_feel_more_energised_when_they_dont_eat_for_a/
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I, for one, do. The less I eat the more high strung and energetic I feel. Especially if I get hunger pangs, and it's real shit because all it makes me want to do is eat less and I know for a fact 500 calories or less is not sustainable in the long term.
But on the other part, the second I eat something, regardless of what it is, I get real sluggish and bloated and I don't feel like doing anything. And with my schedule and studying I can't afford to be. Anyone else like this? Please tell me I'm not the only one with this problem.
[Discussion] Protein Powder Recipes
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Wed Jan 24 09:43:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sod3n/protein_powder_recipes/
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So I realize I haven't been getting enough protein in my diet and wanted to crowd source ideas! I have chocolate protein powder and was wondering if y'all have any fun snack recipes to share. Maybe something to do with chia seed pudding or adding to yogurt or something? Or something baked even?
I eat overnight oats for breakfast but the recipe is set firmly in stone so not looking to plop some powder in those.
[Rant/Rave] Why is everyone allowed to be thin but me?
/u/Diamondwrists
Created: Wed Jan 24 09:20:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7so6tq/why_is_everyone_allowed_to_be_thin_but_me/
---
Mid-recovery, I guess. I'm eating because my anxiety gets really bad if I don't. I'm also taking about 10 vitamins, some prescription ones because my levels are low (love anemia!). But I'm maintaining about a bmi of around 19 give or take and I know I'm not fat (not thin enough, either) but I can help but question the people who tell me I look great and that losing more weight would be unhealthy (and, to be fair, I would have to become underweight to make any noticeable difference in my body at this point) but the same people praise extremely thin models and celebrities. The other I was talking to a friend about a model I idolize and I mentioned that she's really unhealthily thin but very attractive and they said "I don't think she looks unhealthy at all" to which I replied "Alright, so why shouldn't I lose weight to look like her?" and they told me to go for it, not realizing that I would have to *become unhealthy* to look like her (who is "healthy").
I just... on top of that, I'm only just under 5'4", so unlike a tall person, I automatically look plump and curvy because my dimensions are all packed together. I fucking hate my natural body structure. i fantasize about carving my hips away because they're to the bone in terms of weight but the bones are so fucking wide I still wear 26-27" pants. I'm literally fat by design.
So that's that. And I'm very upset and depressed and I started a new medication and I have to get dental work done today and I received a statement from my insurance in the mail saying that I was ineligible for coverage (I think I just need to verify information but I'm freaking out anyway) and I'm just... done
[Rant/Rave] Can't stop BPing and it's making me feel suicidal and helpless
/u/zorbiz [5' 8" | 18.5 | 22F]
Created: Wed Jan 24 09:20:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7so6s5/cant_stop_bping_and_its_making_me_feel_suicidal/
---
I feel like I've regressed to my sixteen-year-old thoughts. "If I can't be beautiful, what's the point of being alive?" They're melodramatic and shallow. I want to self destruct so bad. I crave the dark place I was in before. I live in the nostalgia and romanticism of my skeletal body and pain. I am "high-functioning" right now, with a good job and an apartment, but putting on a happy face to go to my day job is so exhausting. From the outside, it looks like I'm doing well, but I don't care about any of it.
I have binged and purged every day for over a week now. I have spent an insane amount of money on tens of thousands of calories, enough to feed a person for months, just to throw it up.
I'm trying to do things to curb my cravings. I'm eating a normal amount throughout the day so I don't get ravenously hungry, but I'll bp even when I'm full. Nothing seems to help. I spend all day thinking about food. I am truly powerless over it.
I've gained 3 pounds. I feel fat and worthless. I can't snap out of it.
I'm so close to giving up. My self worth is dependent on how well I eat, and I've been eating like garbage. I've been considering putting myself in the psych ward just to get a break from it all.
I just need to get these thoughts out of my head, because they're so loud and violent and persistent.
[Help] Has anyone ever tried any protein nut butter spreads that places like Vitamin Shoppe sell (nuts nā more, Buff Bake, etc.)?
/u/pedaling-backwards [5ā2 š | cw: 106 | lw/gw: 97 | š pedalingbackwards]
Created: Wed Jan 24 09:07:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7so3jm/has_anyone_ever_tried_any_protein_nut_butter/
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Kind of a random question, but a lot of us in this sub do try and eat protein-heavy things because it can help with restriction, so I figured Iād ask.
Iāve been putting one serving of peanut butter in my steel cut oats lately, but itās a really high-cal breakfast for not a ton of protein. I put egg whites in it to at least add a little.. but eh.
Iāve been eyeing the āCookie Butterā Nuts Nā More protein spread because (1. I fucking love Cookie Butter but do NOT trust myself to keep a jar of Lotus Biscoff lying around just yet, and (2. The brand looks well-received and it has really decent macros and protein content.
Has anyone tried any protein spreads before and have any recommendations? The price for just one jar is really expensive so I want to make sure I get a flavor that is actually good.
[Other] The whoosh is real!
/u/emerald_green92
Created: Wed Jan 24 08:43:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7snxaz/the_whoosh_is_real/
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I know there are lots of posts like this but for someone stuck in a plateau ( even a small one) it might help to know that eventually it will be over and it will be so rewarding! I was stuck at the same weight for 13 days , and I even gained 600 grams. During this time, I had a few days of binging because I thought many times "what's the point of starving if I still don't lose any weight so I better stuff my face with everyting I find in the kitchen" .
But on other days I kept it under 600 hundred calories and worked out a lot.
2 days ago I woke up after a night of binging and I saw that I fnally went under the weight I've been at for the past 2 weeks. Yesterday morning I was 1,2 kilograms lighter than the previous day and today I lost another 0,3 kg! So in 3 days I lost 1,9 kilograms and I know it is not that much but it made me really happy to finally see a result.
[Discussion] Prescription diet pills?
/u/InterestingPiano
Created: Wed Jan 24 08:37:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7snvms/prescription_diet_pills/
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Has anyone taken prescribed diet pills?
I am currently on phentermine, vyvanse, and adderall ir.
Ive been on vyvanse and adderall for years so unfortunately i hardly feel the appetite suppression still.
I started phentermine a few months ago (got a script from a super sketch doctor) and tbh i dont think it helps at all.
What are yalls experiences?
[Rant/Rave] I'm investing in myself this year
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 24 08:01:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7snmpy/im_investing_in_myself_this_year/
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I don't know where else to post this and this sub is my safe space so here it goes. I went thru treatment for anorexia this time last year and at the end of last summer I had my last appointment and was considered better. (I still see my therapist but that's an overall thing not for ED). However I really only fixed some things. I used to cook all the time and Ana took that away. I haven't really gotten back to it even though it's something I used to love, and figuring out how to make stuff yummy and as low cal as possible was like a game. Well I moved into a cheaper place with lots of roommates and the kitchen is gross. But I do have a bunch of appliances that I can use in my room. I have an Instant Pot, Vitamix, and food processor, for the holidays this year I received an air fryer and a 1.5 qt crock pot, and I bought myself an electric kettle. I also just bought myself a Fitbit Charge 2 and I started working out again this month. I'm using the Fitbit as motivation to keep going on the workouts and I'm going to try meal planning with my new toys. I need to get food back on track... and I need to lose this weight that I've gained after being "better" when it comes to Ana which really just swung the other way. I've got the tools (and the EC stacks) I've just got to keep myself going. Thanks for listening :)
[Rant/Rave] I feel like Iām driving myself crazy
/u/salt_skin [5'4" | CW: disgusting | F]
Created: Wed Jan 24 07:45:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7snizg/i_feel_like_im_driving_myself_crazy/
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Iāve restricted for a few weeks now and lost a fair bit, but lately I keep gaining and losing the same few pounds. But lately means since Friday!
I know CICO works and that itās natural fluctuations in my weight, but I canāt stop weighing myself multiple times a day.
My happiness and perception of myself depends almost entirely on what the scale says. When I lose, Iām elated and when I look I the mirror, I almost start to see a thin person, but when I gain, I feel crushed and hopelessly depressed and see a blob in the mirror.
I should probably throw away my scale, but the thought of doing that gives me intense anxiety. I donāt even know at this point, but I just had to vent.
My MFP is glitching and itās STRESSING ME OUT.
/u/PrettyMe_PrettyYou
Created: Wed Jan 24 07:44:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7snivi/my_mfp_is_glitching_and_its_stressing_me_out/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Teavana tea may have calories in it?! Even black!
/u/motivatedcactus
Created: Wed Jan 24 06:19:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sn0mj/teavana_tea_may_have_calories_in_it_even_black/
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Hi lovelies. I recently ordered a cup of peach tranquility herbal tea from Starbucks and found I absolutely loved it. Iām tea obsessed and this tea was so good unlike anything Iāve ever had before. (I always drink it black or with cream if I oversteep it) Anyway, yesterday I got another cup and as I was drinking it I had a realization. Thereās no way this tea is so good, so sweet, and have no calories.
Thereās no nutritional information that I can find anywhere but I looked it up and it seems thereās lot of controversy over Teavana teas misleading customers. For example, in the ingredients list on my favorite peach tranquility is ācandied pineappleā which directly contained sugar. Obviously not only the sugar but the fruit seeped a (minimal) amount of calories into the tea. Many of their tea contains fruit like that. Iām not too upset about the maybe 5-10 calories. Iām just upset that they could get away with advertising it as a normal teabag. Itās not. Be aware, friends! Companies will lie!
[Discussion] January 24th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 24 05:18:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7smp6e/january_24th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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If you were to start your own business, what would it be?
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 24, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 24 05:12:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7smo0g/daily_food_diary_january_24_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 24, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday January 24, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 24 05:11:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7smnsx/way_to_go_wednesday_january_24_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for January 24, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Goal] I'm exactly the weight I was when I was 13. I'm still extremely unhappy.
/u/MeelinFelo
Created: Wed Jan 24 05:03:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7smmb4/im_exactly_the_weight_i_was_when_i_was_13_im/
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https://i.redd.it/tex0p68z90c01.png
[Rant/Rave] Hate Plateaus
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 24 02:02:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7slurj/hate_plateaus/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7slurj/hate_plateaus/
[Goal] Scrolling through mfp logs and found this gem :)
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: š³ 100lbs]
Created: Wed Jan 24 01:46:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7slsel/scrolling_through_mfp_logs_and_found_this_gem/
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https://imgur.com/a/z0SGZ
CMV Promoting weight loss with garcinia pills.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 24 01:06:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7slmo8/cmv_promoting_weight_loss_with_garcinia_pills/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7slmo8/cmv_promoting_weight_loss_with_garcinia_pills/
[Other] When your bf doesn't realize what he said (funny)
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 200.8 | GW1 199 | UGW 120 | 34.5 | 25 F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 23:55:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7slbot/when_your_bf_doesnt_realize_what_he_said_funny/
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I was trying to hurry him out of the bathroom because I **NEEDED** to go *now*. So I was telling him how Spelnda acts as a laxative. Then he replies about how that's why they can call it 0 cal, you just poop it out right away. I just bust out laughing and say "right". I've told him bits about my ED habits from the past, but not that I actually did use lax heavily at one point, nor that I've been fairly successfully restricting. All he knows is that I want to lose weight.
[Goal] Recovery level achieved: return of the crimson tide!
/u/thebonefairy [5ft|CW 95|GW:85|]
Created: Tue Jan 23 22:20:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7skyho/recovery_level_achieved_return_of_the_crimson_tide/
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Just wanted to share a huge moment! My period came back! It's been on hiatus for a while since I quit purging and binging. Even though I still am limiting myself to certain food options, I have enough nutrients and weight now to sustain a mother fucking period. I forgot how annoying they are but I'm glad its back. Feels like affirmation from my body that I've been doing better. My best wishes to everyone else thinking about or attempting their own recovery. Its tough and sometimes the baby steps you take don't seem to make a difference but it is a waiting game.
Let me hear about recovery from you!
[Thinspo] When I was at my thinnest. Around 80 lbs
/u/rhiannonwilliams
Created: Tue Jan 23 21:47:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7skrud/when_i_was_at_my_thinnest_around_80_lbs/
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https://i.redd.it/thqnfjq44yb01.jpg
Uping my calorie limit to 1000...
/u/ScullyItsAliens
Created: Tue Jan 23 21:40:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7skqk9/uping_my_calorie_limit_to_1000/
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[removed]
perks of depression
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | (treatment rip) | GW 95lbs]
Created: Tue Jan 23 21:39:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7skqh0/perks_of_depression/
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I really want to binge rn but I'm too depressed to get out of bed and go to the kitchen so at least there's that š
[Help] Feeling crappy after a binge
/u/jholtz27
Created: Tue Jan 23 21:07:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7skjol/feeling_crappy_after_a_binge/
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I've been restricting for the past few, but just broke for an anxiety-induced binge. But I couldn't find the energy to purge, so now I feel even worse and fatter about it. Does anyone have this happen to them? If so, how do you make yourself feel better after?
[Rant/Rave] āSheās skinny because she doesnāt eat!ā
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:120 |19.7 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 21:05:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7skjez/shes_skinny_because_she_doesnt_eat/
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During this past month Iāve lost a lot of weight. Iāve been restricting pretty heavily and for a second there my lax use was out of control. On top of that Iāve been working out like crazy, so the pounds have just been falling off.
Itās pretty noticeable that Iāve lost more weight and everyone at the store I work in has been making comments about it. One lady was complaining about how she thought she was getting fat and lifted up her shirt to look at herself in a mirror (it was a slow day, we work in a cosmetic store so thereās a lot of mirrors and our staff is pretty close so we talk to each other like family). She then proceeded to lift my shirt up to see my stomach and said āoh god, youāre so skinny,ā in this horrified and disgusted voice and then starting making a big deal about me because she could see my ribs.
Today an old manager came back to visit and told me that I was super skinny. She literally wrapped her hands around my waist in front of a few of my coworkers and was like āoh my god, youāre suuuuper skinny, Iām so jealousā and another girl was like āitās because she doesnāt eat!!ā
Part of me is getting a kick out of this because if people are acting this way I must really be skinny. The other part of me doesnāt know how to feel. If my coworkers are really concerned about me I wish theyād just say something to me about it instead of touching me or making comments and scenes about me.
I love but hate when people notice how much weight Iām losing and I really donāt know how to feel.
[Discussion] Best quest bar?
/u/pickles023
Created: Tue Jan 23 20:47:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7skfjc/best_quest_bar/
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So I didn't realize how awesome quest bars were until now. I just tried the mint chocolate chip, and it's fantastic!
What are your favorite Quest bar flavors? Are there any I should avoid like the plague?
[Rant/Rave] [rant] I fucking hate food culture
/u/janet_snakewhole
Created: Tue Jan 23 19:44:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sk175/rant_i_fucking_hate_food_culture/
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Cannot escape this obsession with food no matter where I go. Friends and coworkers want to go to restaurants. Birthday? Let's shovel food in our faces. Promotion? Let's eat more food. Graduation? Wedding? Eat cake. Cannot celebrate a single holiday without gorging on food. Turn on the TV, there are a thousand shows about food. Food travel, cooking (good and bad), competitions, you name it! Log into Facebook, Bam! Food everywhere! Fuck you Tasty and every other page with those goddamn gif recipes. Even youtube is filled with food videos. Fucking epic meal time.
Sorry for the incoherent rant.
I am just so tired of being surrounded by triggers!!
[Discussion] DAE get more thirsty when drinking things with 0 cal sweetener?
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 200.8 | GW1 199 | UGW 120 | 34.5 | 25 F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 19:25:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sjwzt/dae_get_more_thirsty_when_drinking_things_with_0/
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I've been drinking the 0 cal version of my usual tea and I feel more thirsty now than when drinking the other version. I'm going through this one faster, my mouth often feels dry, and my lips are chapped. I'm not sure if this is because of the sweetener (Splenda), another ingredient in the tea, or because I've been restricting lately so am just taking in less liquid than normal.
I'm going to try a different flavor next, so hopefully that one doesn't make me feel so damn thirsty!
[Discussion] DAE have "safe clothes"
/u/merewautt
Created: Tue Jan 23 19:05:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sjsez/dae_have_safe_clothes/
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I know we talk about "safe foods" all the time on here but does anyone else have "safe" or "unsafe" clothes?
I have a go to pair of leggings and pullover that allows me to function in public on days I have to do stuff but I can barely stand to look at myself.
On the other hand, even on my best days, jeans make me want to die lol.
[Discussion] Lifting on deficit?
/u/ThisIsGumpy [Height 5'2| CW 108| GW 100]
Created: Tue Jan 23 18:34:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sjllo/lifting_on_deficit/
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I was wondering if any of you all have begun lifting on deficits? How did you body react to it (did weight loss stall/did you bulk up)?
[Rant/Rave] Made the mistake of attempting to write a review for a dress and proceeding to compare myself to the model. My arms are literally the size of her legs.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 23 18:31:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sjkve/made_the_mistake_of_attempting_to_write_a_review/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Just cut for the first time
/u/ShouNinja [170cm | CW 56kg | BMI 19.32 | GW 48kg | 20F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 18:00:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sjdwp/just_cut_for_the_first_time/
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I'm not doing well at all and today everything just felt hopeless. I've been having self harm thoughts for awhile but had been able to resist until now. Earlier todat I'd hit the back of my hand so when I got home my brain immediately got to the conclusion that if I cut on the bruising no one will know or be able to tell so I just grabbed a fucking kitchen knife and did it... I'm so dissapointed in myself... Now I just feel like I'm even more of a failure and it feels like my friends will be angry with me... I've already told them cause I tell them everything but they're asleep so I'll see tomorrow. I just hate myself and everything that's part of me. Fuck my life, it can just go to hell... I really don't know if I can live my life with all the shit I'm gonna have to deal with forever. I still don't consider suicide a valid option, I don't really believe in that, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately...
Well, enough of my rambling, I just wanted to tell some random but lovely internet strangers that I just cut for the first time... But really, fuck me.
Confused.....and angry at myself
/u/hollywould83 [5ft 2 in | 103 | 18.83 | 24 | Female]
Created: Tue Jan 23 17:47:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sjat1/confusedand_angry_at_myself/
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All right, guys,
I am having some issues that appear to mirror an ED although my PCP and my NP at my psych dont seem concerned. My issues with a proper diet have always been an issue, although I am struggling now. I had a severe trauma that lasted 144 days. I held strong but once my brain caught up my weight plummeted. I went from being 126lbs to 98lbs at 5ft 2in in 2 months time.
Food became an afterthought and literally I remained a skeleton throughout my fiances year long treatment program. Food was absolutely not enticing at all although I was constantly told how I looked like a drug addict. (Mind you, not even on an anti depressant to cope with my PTSD which I have since realized is C/PTSD).
By the time my fiance returned in May of 2017, my hair was matted so badly I couldn't even brush it. My hair was falling out and sleeping only from 2am to 6am nightly, while working full time and raising our son during the 17 months my fiance was gone. He returned, saw my discolored nails, my hair as well as my continued weight loss. He began to encourage me to exercise with him since it is important to his sobriety and to help me regain my non existent muscle mass.
I panicked when the scale hit 110. I couldn't handle it, so I began to self starve until I returned to my safe weight of 104. I only eat salads or very rationed portions (where I know the exact calorie count that day), sometimes eating nothing at all. Now my safe weight is 102 to even better 101. That is where I feel great! My doctor only says to not lose anymore weight where I am now at 103. I tried laxatives, now moved onto diuretics when I feel I have eaten too much.
I feel so ashamed and guilty when I give in and eat however my NP and my doctor do not seem concerned with my NP at my psych dismissing it at self harm, nothing more. Everyone seems to be brushing it off, although I feel that I am struggling with something. I am really unsure of where to go for a diagnosis if one is applicable.
Side note: I have now weighed for tonight and I am at 103.9 I feel so angry and HUGE when I look in the mirror for not being able to resist those 440 calories I ate tonight
[Intro] Deleted my account an hour ago to try to recover from EDNOS until my boyfriend...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 23 17:15:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sj34a/deleted_my_account_an_hour_ago_to_try_to_recover/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] āyou must be like an undiscovered model or somethingā
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 125 | ugw: 98 | 17F | š: starvingprincess]
Created: Tue Jan 23 17:12:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sj2fr/you_must_be_like_an_undiscovered_model_or/
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HAHAHAHAHA
no iām fucking not.
my physical therapist was telling me today that i look like a model and that iām gorgeous. she kept telling me how skinny i am and that i must be an undiscovered model.
i know it was a compliment but iām so angry. iām the largest iāve ever been. iām almost overweight. iām at 144 pounds now and iāve grown out of my size 1 jeans after they had already stretched out as i got fatter (literally split them down the thigh lmao kms) and my stomach is flabby as fuck and i have never looked farther from a model.
unless she meant plus size model.
[Tip] Any tips?
/u/AndiiBean
Created: Tue Jan 23 17:11:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sj25f/any_tips/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Restricting makes me feel powerful
/u/fernsandfoxes
Created: Tue Jan 23 17:02:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sizy2/restricting_makes_me_feel_powerful/
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Maybe itās because I hate myself and my body.
Maybe itās because it gives me a sense of control.
I know eating 500 calories a day isnāt healthy but Iām addicted to the way it makes me feel.
Anyone else feel powerful when they successfully restrict?
[Help] Keto + Binge
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW 116? | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Tue Jan 23 16:19:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sipfb/keto_binge/
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Hey all, first post in a while... I've been off making poor choices since early December and am finally trying to get back in control of myself. I recently started eating low-carb again, since I was struggling to restrict in a way I was happy with while being presented with the endless opportunities of carbs. Having the self-imposed limitations of being low-carb is something I can handle a lot easier than just "don't eat"... Probably something to do with more specific rules.
Anyway, today I hit a bit of a stumble, made a low-carb pizza, and binged the whole thing instead of portioning it like I was intending to. Then, in a panic, I spent ages purging all of it that I could (And then took laxatives, just for good measure. As you do).
My question, then, is if anyone knows the science of how ketosis plays with purging. That is, when do swallowed carbs create insulin / the rest of whatever ketosis seeks to limit / avoid? If for example, by my estimate, I ate a total of 40g of net carbs today, 32g of which was during the binge, which I then purged, should I fall out of ketosis or will I be okay?
(Obviously even if I did fuck today up, I know that I'll recover in a couple days... I'm more curious about the science of it now than I am about trying to repair the situation / ease my mind.)
Thanks!
[Tip] Anyone have tips to losing weight or good work outs? I was doing really good and went from 180lb to 145lb quickly but had a binge and am now at 155lb...my goal is 120 but I completely screwed it up during the holiday and birthdays š
/u/Etobambina
Created: Tue Jan 23 16:06:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sim1q/anyone_have_tips_to_losing_weight_or_good_work/
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[removed]
[Discussion] restrictors: how much do you vary cals?
/u/xlaaane
Created: Tue Jan 23 15:44:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sigeg/restrictors_how_much_do_you_vary_cals/
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[removed]
Just heard this
/u/Banana-Ghost [169cm | CW 61kg | GW 54kg | 20F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 15:30:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sicuj/just_heard_this/
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[removed]
[Help] Extreme skin consequences
/u/prettypleaser
Created: Tue Jan 23 15:10:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7si7hg/extreme_skin_consequences/
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Hello, please help me :(
I threw up a couple days ago, and my face is now covered in blotchy red dots all around my eyes & forehead.
I googled it and found that it's caused by broken capillaries due to pressure when vomiting/straining/heat/etc. It'll supposedly go away in a few days, but it's been a couple days and there's no change on my face.
Guys it's so bad, imagine wearing a burgundy masquerade mask except it's blotchy & extends to the forehead/mouth area...
I live at home and my mom freaks out when i cough once, so idk how to fix this so she doesn't find out. I've been wearing makeup to sleep, which is not helping my acne problems.
Anyone have this problem?? Please help a girl out!
[Rant/Rave] Hit a new low weight and celebrated by...immediately binging and purging? Why am I the way I am
/u/oneblueboot [5' 7.5" | CW 120 lb | GW 112 | 26F | š: oneblueboot]
Created: Tue Jan 23 14:55:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7si3i3/hit_a_new_low_weight_and_celebrated_byimmediately/
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Woke up this morning, stepped on the scale and saw a number below 120 for the first time in many MANY years. Updated my flair to 120 just in case of weird fluctuations, but if the scale is correct Iām only five pounds away from my first goal weight!
So naturally, my first thought isnāt āgreat job! Keep up the restricting and youāll lose the final five in no time.ā Instead, itās āI wonder how many of those gross Safeway chocolate-frosted soft cookies I can eat in a row before I start feeling nauseous from the sugar? Whatever, itās just this once, Iāll throw them back up anyway.ā
Cue binge/purge session #1. If that had been it, maybe today would have turned out alright. But no, I couldnāt make it another two hours without eating four rice cakes, two granola bars, tons of Jello, a big bowl of grapes, half a bag of popcorn, two Reeseās cups...
I just finished my second purge of the day. I have never binged/purged twice in one day before. And now I canāt even bear to think about food, much less look at or eat anything. The thought of having anything in my mouth besides gum repulses me.
Is it some weird self-punishing mechanism to make sure I donāt go overboard during the rest of the week? Make myself so grossed out by food that all I want to do is fast until Friday?
Whatever. I feel disgusting. Happy Tuesday, yāall
[Discussion] DAE panic when a fast food place gives you a bonus helping for free?
/u/cybermua
Created: Tue Jan 23 14:17:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sht8k/dae_panic_when_a_fast_food_place_gives_you_a/
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Pretty sure I just got an extra serving of rice and pita bread at this Mediterranean place. It wasnāt really āfast foodā āit was kind of like how chipotle is laid out with all the scooping n stuff.
I should be pleased, but now Iām like do I have enough self control to only eat half of this????
[Help] How to be vegetarian on a school meal plan + deficit?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 118 | GW: small | F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 14:10:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7shrd0/how_to_be_vegetarian_on_a_school_meal_plan_deficit/
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I'm trying out vegetarianism because... Well, I'm not really sure why. I mostly like exercising my away-from-home-so-try-anything freedom, so the second I got back home from winter break, I stopped eating meat.
I really don't mind it so far--I usually crave sugar, not meat, and I've been able to get in some pretty decent meals. However, I can't seem to get enough protein in my diet, and it's noticeably wearing me down. This would be fine and dandy if I had a job and could buy/make my own meals (hello, beans and egg whites), but as it is, I'm stuck to the school meal plan. The options, even in the buffet-style dining hall, are SEVERELY limiting (i.e. 8g of protein in a 180-cal slice of greasy pizza--and I'm not about to start eating 4-5 slices of pizza every day). I've been able to buy some of my own stuff thus far, but as I mentioned, I have no way to make money, so I can kiss those options goodbye.
Any advice?
[Other] Just about to binge!! Cocks donāt have many calories tho
/u/nikibobe
Created: Tue Jan 23 13:37:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7shi43/just_about_to_binge_cocks_dont_have_many_calories/
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https://i.redd.it/9z8wu5rnovb01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] 30 lbs down and feel like things are getting worse
/u/periwinklecircles
Created: Tue Jan 23 13:23:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7she7o/30_lbs_down_and_feel_like_things_are_getting_worse/
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Iām currently losing weight fast and I feel like my life is spiraling out of control.
I recently gave up alcohol (which was a major issue in my life) as well as cigs and now all of my focus is from weight loss. I canāt think about anything. I canāt help myself from outdoing the previous day. I have no goals. I donāt want to find a job anymore.
I feel thrilled when I lose weight and then Iām
Perpetually sad outside of that one moment. I just feel like crying and that I have no future.
Iām sorry. I just donāt really have anyone to speak to about this..
[Discussion] Bone Broth
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 111.8 | BMI 18 | 23F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 13:16:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7shc87/bone_broth/
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So I recently bought a huge, value-sized 8-pack of bone broth from Costco based solely on the nutritional facts. 40 calories in a cup, 9 grams of protein... Does anyone else drink this to amp up their protein? And... how? By itself it seems kind of tasteless, so I've been putting in a cube of bullion and that tends to be a salt overload, but maybe I just need to adjust my ratios. I like it alright, but I'm starting to worry that I impulse-bought something that will be in storage forever.
Any advice?
[Help] Oopsies in a pan?
/u/reviic [ā| 5Ā“1.5 | 114lb | BMI21 | HW: 130lb | Trans boy19]
Created: Tue Jan 23 13:13:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7shbg5/oopsies_in_a_pan/
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Hi, hello! I love oopsies, but do not have an oven at my mother's. Anyone tried making one in a pan? š¤šš£
It's in swedish. But I'm sure you can still relate
/u/aristocat2 [172 cm | 58 kg | BMI 19.7 | 10 kg | Female]
Created: Tue Jan 23 13:10:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7shalt/its_in_swedish_but_im_sure_you_can_still_relate/
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https://www.instagram.com/p/BeQ8oOBjlvq/
[Discussion] Strangest ways to avoid eating?
/u/spiNACHOcolate [Height:1m70 | CW:55.5kg | HW:69kg | GW:52kg | F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 13:03:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sh8mm/strangest_ways_to_avoid_eating/
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So I'm currently at a net of 500kCal for the day. Went for the most INCREDIBLE run and have been feeling that light-headed giddiness which makes me feel like I'm walking on air.
Well, currently I'm living in my friends' flat and they're all away so as a surprise for when they come back I blew up 100 balloons and stuffed them in their food cupboards. Then I realised that now I can't actually get to the food. Then I fainted.
Anyone have any strange/unexpected ways they've avoided eating?
[Help] Stuck in a binge cycle in a foreign country, I think because of negative attention
/u/liliannereid [170 cm | CW: 64.2 kg | SW: 78.1 kg | UGW: 58.5-60.5 kg | 26F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 13:00:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sh7si/stuck_in_a_binge_cycle_in_a_foreign_country_i/
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Hey peeps. So I typically do long bouts of restriction and long bouts of bingeing. I was at the thinnest I had been in a long time at the start of the December, gained weight over the holidays, started losing again... I'm now on a long term trip in a country with a culture very different from mine where I plan to live for a few months to learn the language.
There are not a lot of blonde, white, blue-eyed people here like me so I'm getting a lot of attention, some of it has not been nice attention - for instance a fatherly figure, sixty-something, that was giving me advice and I thought I could learn about the culture from but then I realized he basically just wanted to have sex with me - so of course I am eating like a pig now so that nobody will want to try and sleep with me (I guess? I did this also when I was in India a while back and got fatter than ever before).
I feel really bad and disgusting and I know this is not rational. I know there is no one answer really except be healthy and that is much easier said than done. I just really need some personal advice from you guys, or maybe just support.
Anyone ever had a fat intervention?
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180 | HW 197 | LW 122 | 29F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 12:57:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sh6st/anyone_ever_had_a_fat_intervention/
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I've recently seen posts here where loved ones are commenting on people's bodies because they are concerned they are too thin. Anyone had the opposite?
About once a year usually around the 4th of July for the last 3 years (continued to gain) my mom had tried to express her concern for my "health" and talked to me on how I really need to lose weight. It's embarrassing and hurtful. She continues to do it even though I tell her to stop. She is constantly talki g about her own weight and diets yet now that I'm losing she won't talk diets with me.
I showed a pic to my therapist of myself after my 1st diet when I was 14 and got so much praise from her and my therapist remarked on how I looked too thin. I can't trust what my mom says about my body.
[Other] honestly Iām a failure
/u/emaxiii
Created: Tue Jan 23 12:51:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sh5bl/honestly_im_a_failure/
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Iāve spent the past week alternating between celebrating getting into law school with drugs and food. I think Iāve stuffed my face full more times than I can count. I spent something like $150 on meals out and drinks and whatnot. I gained 7 lbs. I was at 130 right before NYE and now Iām 137. I feel depressed and worthless. I want to SH. I honestly feel like I donāt belong at all, that I shouldnāt even be allowed to post here because Iām a disgusting trash heap that just shovels calories in her mouth like Iām trying to end world hunger through my stomach. I binged and purged some stuff but it started clogging my shower drain (my shower drain sucks I was puking sticky toffee pudding). At this point Iām just apathetic about life. Iām not going to kill myself but if I stepped out onto the road and got hit I wouldnāt mind too much, it might even been an improvement.
Also I can finally purge silently and without popping every capillary in my face so now Iām scared Iām gonna turn into a bulimic and ruin my teeth and develop throat cancer and never be skinny because Iāll just keep binging and binging and binging.
[Discussion] Adults: The pressure tog et help - how do you deal?
/u/Strawberry_Smoothie
Created: Tue Jan 23 12:44:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sh3g1/adults_the_pressure_tog_et_help_how_do_you_deal/
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Sorry if this seems rather exclusionary, but I'm interested how other people who are legally adults (who can't be just send to hospitals, doctors etc. by their parents) deal with family, friends or significant others who pressure them or plead with them to get help either for their ED or for illnesses/ailments that are a result of it.
I generally avoid doctors, but I've got some health issues from years and years of b/p, I often spit up blood, have heart arrhythmia etc., so there's a point where people who are close to me notice and of course normal and sensible people would see a doctor - they are not crazy, after all... Not wanting to go leads to arguments and tension, but ultimately, my ED is too important to me to give it up, but I#d like to soften the impact it has on my relationships.
So, what do you do? Do you go and are you honest? Do you go and try to hide the true nature of your problems? Do you refuse to get help/treatment, and if, how do your significant others, families etc. react?
[Rant/Rave] "Your weight is perfectly healthy"
/u/im-nobody-too [CW: 119lbs | GW: Maintain don't gain | 26f]
Created: Tue Jan 23 12:22:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sgx14/your_weight_is_perfectly_healthy/
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Said to me by my doctor.
Obviously supposed to be a good thing...but I'm feeling so depressed now. I don't want to be perfectly healthy. I want to be perfectly skinny. And I hate myself for even thinking that because I know there are people out there who would love to have a body like mine.But instead I just wish I was smaller. I used to be underweight, and every time I had an appointment, she'd tell me that she was concerned about my weight, and I just miss that.
(doesn't help that they weighed me in my shoes and jeans and so I was nearly 2 pounds over what my scale said this morning. 2 pounds doesn't really make a difference on my BMI but it makes a huge difference on my self-esteem).
[Rant/Rave] Been eating a lot and feeling disgusting
/u/skyofAuroras [5'10"| CW: 122.5| GW: 115|19F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 11:20:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sgfjm/been_eating_a_lot_and_feeling_disgusting/
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I've been eating so much the last few days, I feel disgusting. Last Thursday I completed a 24 hour fast and I felt great. Now I feel horrible. I haven't checked my weight yet and I'm scared to. I was depressed and binged so much on bread and candy yesterday. Feels bad. I plan to fast for the rest of today and do another full fast Thursday. For now I'm just going to feel disgusting. (Sorry for the self deprecating rant just needed to write this out)
[Help] How the fuck do I stop eating like an idiot
/u/dietingbear
Created: Tue Jan 23 11:15:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sge1t/how_the_fuck_do_i_stop_eating_like_an_idiot/
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I developed AN when I was 17/18. Used to b/p a bit but not much and also not on large amounts. Was underweight etc. Despite this I was kinda... idk, faux happy? I knew I was skinnier than than most other people and as narcissistic as it sounds it felt fucking good. I was doing a lot of exercise and running a lot at this point too.
Fast forward 2/3 years. I fell into binge eating. Since 2015 Iāve gained 35lbs. Iām so fucking depressed. I HATE this. All I do is eat. Eat eat eat. I want to lose so badly but I have no will power anymore. Iāll be over weight if I carry on like this. I want to ducking commit.
Has anyone been through this?? How did you stop?? Iām huge I hate myself so much
[Rant/Rave] Fuck Burger King
/u/cammie5
Created: Tue Jan 23 11:11:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sgczw/fuck_burger_king/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I still have weight to lose, stop telling me I donāt.
/u/AirmansGirl [5'5 | CW 123.4 | GW 110| 26F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 11:05:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sgb5i/i_still_have_weight_to_lose_stop_telling_me_i_dont/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Scared.
/u/napalmlife_ [5'6" | 101 | 16.37 | F21]
Created: Tue Jan 23 11:04:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sgarg/scared/
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In December, my boyfriend and parents talked to me individually about how I "needed to gain some weight" because they are worried about me. I was kinda on board at first because I felt frail and sort of ill. I binged for a few days and then freaked out. I just cant do it. I went home for winter break in December weighing 101 lbs and I came back to school at 103. Which was scary enough for me.
But this past weekend I drank a ton of vodka and beer and ate taco bell, fried chicken, mac and cheese, pasta, breadsticks, roast beef sandwiches, non diet pop, popcorn, and more. I weighed myself on monday and was 105!! I haven't been 105 since last summer. It freaks me out. I can't tell if it is water weight or not. My binge was mostly on saturday but now on Tuesday I still weigh like 104. I know the scale lies but I also FEEL bloated and bigger. I also feel insane because I know deep down that I'm freaking out over the tiniest thing. I don't know if I will ever be able to recover or even be slightly normal if this is my mindset. It scares me.
And I don't want to update my flair bc it makes me sad...lol
[Help] In recovery, really struggling with my body
/u/theonlyappiuseispeac
Created: Tue Jan 23 10:52:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sg7ic/in_recovery_really_struggling_with_my_body/
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I have BED and have been in recovery for about 10 months. It's been awesome for my mental health and I feel a lot better as a person, but I took a big hit this week when I weighed myself after not weighing myself since the summer. I knew I had lost weight and I thought I looked better and my clothes were looser, but when I finally weighed myself I had barely lost anything. I don't even know how that's possible because when I started recovery I was binging every single day, at least once a day and now I usually don't binge or overeat at all on a weekly basis, and if I do, it's one time that week (I had a period of 2 months with no symptom use, but I did a few times over the holidays, getting back to no symptom use again).
Anyway, it made me realize I'm not as "recovered" as I thought.
I have massive issues with my body and with my self-esteem and I thought that recovery just meant I would lose all my extra weight (and I still think I will, but I guess it's going to take a lot of years) and I'm so freaked out right now because I am realizing I have to accept my body the way it is now and it seems impossible.
When I look at people who are in good relationships I feel so sad. I've tried to put off finding someone to date seriously until I was recovered because I don't think anyone could be attracted to me and I don't think anyone deserves to have to deal with my issues. I am too scared to go to the doctor and have a panic attack because I feel so guilty and ashamed of being overweight. I thought I could go after I lost more weight, but now that seems too far away and I need to get a check-up.
I just... I feel like such a failure and like a monster and I don't know how anyone will ever love me. I go to therapy twice a week and one of the times all we talk about is how to feel better about body issues and I don't know if it's helping. Has anyone read anything that has helped them feel better about their body? Or found anything that's helpful?
[Other] So proud of myself
/u/-teaqueen- [5'3" | 115 | 20.37 | -20 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 10:10:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sfw0d/so_proud_of_myself/
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Sushi is my absolute favorite. I will eat three rolls and fried shrimp every time. BUT. I went to sushi two nights ago and got miso and a cucumber roll. And I was just as happy. Half of that happiness was just cause I said no to other things and stuck to my plan. And the cucumber roll was pretty good!
[Rant/Rave] Related to the cake post....how can someone just casually eat an entire PIZZA?!?!!?!?
/u/mina1200
Created: Tue Jan 23 09:59:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sfsvu/related_to_the_cake_posthow_can_someone_just/
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Sitting in the uni cafe when this girl comes in with a pizza box, sits down RIGHT in front of me and eats the. entire. thing. I just don't understand how people just casually eat an entire pizza like its no big deal!? The only time I eat pizza is when I'm hardcore binging, and end up eating the entire thing along with 13453 other things. One good thing out of all this is that watching her eat the entire thing not even a metre away from me made me feel full as well...
[Rant/Rave] Trying to recover but I'm so fucking fat...so torn
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Tue Jan 23 09:31:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sflfq/trying_to_recover_but_im_so_fucking_fatso_torn/
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I've been seeing a therapist who has been trying to help me get in a better mindset and eat like a normal person and i know that's what I wanted when I started, to get out of this hellish cycle of bingeing and restricting.
But it's so hard. I'm not losing any weight, I'm GAINING weight, and I was overweight to begin with. I've been trying to do what he suggests, eating like 1400 calories a day (somehow without counting calories?!) and not weighing myself, but it's killing me.
I don't trust the process. Today I'm so tempted to fast and start seeing those numbers move down again. My face is so round, I feel worthless. I'm trying to force myself to eat some breakfast but I'm just stuck. I don't know what to do. This fucking sucks.
I don't know what I'm hoping to get out of posting this, but I just needed to get it out there.
[Help] Short, sedentary people who restrict on the higher side (800+), how much do you lose a week?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 23 09:31:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sfldg/short_sedentary_people_who_restrict_on_the_higher/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sfldg/short_sedentary_people_who_restrict_on_the_higher/
[Help] Has anyone every been prescribed a prolactin test? Someone please share their story. Thanks
/u/beatrizpardo
Created: Tue Jan 23 08:20:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sf2rx/has_anyone_every_been_prescribed_a_prolactin_test/
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[Rant/Rave] Gaining weight while restricting
/u/somewhatsub [5'1" | CW 132 | BMI 25.1 | GW 100 | HW 142]
Created: Tue Jan 23 08:01:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sey4n/gaining_weight_while_restricting/
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Hi everyone, this is my first post on this sub so I hope Iām not messing anything up.
Iāve been restricting (like below 1000) every day, weighing my food, walking/working out daily and not slipping up at all for the past month.
Yet I just went up .7 of a pound! I know weighing myself everyday doesnāt help but itās so frustrating. Like I only ate 600 cals yesterday! Thereās no way I could have gained weight! It pisses me off so much, is this normal? I just feel like Iām somehow messing up.
[Discussion] Binging sucks....but sometimes weirdly helps?
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Tue Jan 23 07:55:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sewne/binging_sucksbut_sometimes_weirdly_helps/
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Does anyone else feel this way? Binged last night. About 1,000 cal over my TDEE. I feel gross and bloated and puffy....BUT
Sometimes binging is the ass-kick I need to feel so horrible that it motivates me to restrict super hard again when Iāve gotten lazy.
Now I feel like I have tunnel vision to get to my next goal weight and restrict harder than I have been.
[Rant/Rave] The Fat Bridesmaid
/u/china_doll [5'5.5 | CW150.6lbs | 24.87 | WL28.5lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 06:20:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sebqp/the_fat_bridesmaid/
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I knew it was a bad idea for me but I joined a weight loss competition with my soon-to-be sister in law (my boyfriend's sister) and her other bridesmaids. Everyone's set a goal weight to be by March 31st, her bachelorette party. Mine is 140lbs which is still embarrassingly high when I look at everyone else's. They all talk in a group chat about having healthy salad for dinner, and "no wine for me, I'm on a diet!" What did I do?
I ate 3 full size pastries in one sitting yesterday.
I don't know what to do. I can't stop sabotaging myself. Guess I'll forever be the fat bridesmaid.
[Discussion] January 23rd, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 05:46:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7se53o/january_23rd_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Do you need a break? From what?
From my constant life of being manipulative, immature, and selfish when it comes to relationships. Every time I move into a new environment, I tell myself Iām going to be better, to turn over a new leaf and finally grow up. But I never succeed. Thatās probably why Iāll never find true love or truly be happy (also because of my cold dead heart). Iāve never loved anyone romantically (Iāve lied) and I canāt see myself ever wanting to commit the rest of my life to someone unless it was for financial reasons. That kind of digressed, but itās something I need to talk about.
[Discussion] Does restricting really slow your metabolism?
/u/vitalogy95 [5'5" | CW: 155 | BMI: 25.79 | GW: 115 | HW: 176]
Created: Tue Jan 23 05:23:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7se0yh/does_restricting_really_slow_your_metabolism/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday January 23, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 23 05:10:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sdyr0/thinspo_tuesday_january_23_2018/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 23, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 23 05:10:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sdyq2/daily_food_diary_january_23_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 23, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Mirena IUD and weight gain? And acne?
/u/forestgreenyogi [5'2" | GW: 115CW: 126 | BMI: 24.0]
Created: Tue Jan 23 04:44:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sduht/mirena_iud_and_weight_gain_and_acne/
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Hi first post!
Yesterday, my doctor implanted a Mirena IUD... Unfortunately I didn't look it up before the procedure, and I just looked it up. Side effects include weight gain and acne. I am freaking out because I won't just get fat but also have ruined skin. Does anyone else have experience with Mirena? It's hard enough right now for me to lose weight, and now I have a medication preventing me as well.
I'm on mobile, but I need to flair it (discussion ?)
[Rant/Rave] Not necessarily ED related, but I need to talk about something and I don't feel comfortable anywhere else...
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | CW 115 | GW 100 | 26F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 04:19:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sdqn3/not_necessarily_ed_related_but_i_need_to_talk/
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i'm sorry this is about to be really long and kind of off topic for the subreddit but i literally have no one to talk to and don't feel comfortable in any other place... idec if no one reads this, i just need to type it out because if not i'm going to lose my mind.
i have mentioned this before but i'm an american living in europe until may as an english teacher in a non-english speaking country. i live with 3 people in a flat and, well i'll cut to the chase immediately, i'm constantly being sexually assaulted and harassed by 2 of my flatmates, one guy and one girl. at the beginning of our flatmate-ship, i mentioned that i'm bisexual and my female FM is too, and basically she took that as open season to start hitting on me and touching me and constantly suggesting we have a threesome with someone, either her friend, or our other FM, or any random person.
now first of all, i have a long-distance relationship with a guy in america that i love very very much. we have been together for over a year and we talk literally every single day and it's no secret that i'm not only not available, but i'm not interested. just because i find girls attractive doesn't mean i want to fuck every girl ever... idk. luckily she's the lesser of my two problems because i can easily avoid her. she works two jobs and isn't home for very long periods of time so i can dodge her advances, but when we spend any amount of time together, she makes a move on me without fail.
my male FM is going to be the literal death of me. he is home very often because he's a part-time student and i work basically part-time hours, so we end up spending a lot of time together. in the beginning it was cool, we have similar interests and tastes, we have a similar dry sense of humor, etc but things have really really gone downhill.
it all began a few months ago when we were all 4 drinking together in the flat, we were all drunk, and i passed out on the couch. i woke up to him kissing me on the mouth. i said "wtf do you think you're doing?!", and ran to my room crying. he texted me saying something like, i thought you wanted to but i guess i was wrong. he hasn't stopped assaulting me since. it's a constant barrage of derogatory comments, sexual propositions, him forcibly grabbing my face and pulling it in to kiss him... he grabs all my sexual parts, rubs his dick on me, he has pinned me down on the couch and basically dry humped me, all the while i'm saying NO. STOP. I DON'T WANT THIS. and his excuse is, "i can't help it, with an ass like that it's not fair." his aggressions toward me have made me cry in front of him multiple times, but it doesn't stop. it's never ending. he literally doesn't care. and the thing that sucks the most is that he's not some evil asshole creep personality wise. aside from him constantly harassing me, we get along well and are capable of having a good time together. he does things that almost redeem himself like the other day he went with me to a doctors appointment because i have a sprained ankle, to help me understand what the doctor was telling me because i don't have really good medical vocabulary in the language spoken here... but it's definitely not enough to excuse him for what he does to me.
i know the logical option would be to move out but it's not that simple. i don't have a lot of money and thinking about packing up all my shit and hitting the road at this point seems impossible both logistically and mentally. also i can't tell my boyfriend because he would lose his shit and he already has enough stress back home, i don't want to put this on him while we have thousands of miles between us... fuck. idk. i just needed to get it out there. if you read through this, thank you. that's all i have to say.
[Thinspo] Progress picture
/u/rhiannonwilliams
Created: Tue Jan 23 03:32:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sdjcc/progress_picture/
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https://i.redd.it/ld3xol8tosb01.jpg
[Discussion] Watching diet shows
/u/little-paws
Created: Tue Jan 23 03:20:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sdhns/watching_diet_shows/
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I'm watching a programme called 'Diet Secrets And How To Lose Weight' - it's an English show but I found it online.
Each week they have a celebrity who tries a different diet. This episode is about the 5:2 diet and I'm laughing so much.
"Frankie can ONLY have 800 calories on her 2 fasting days" And then they have loads of dieticians talking about what a big deal it is.
I just find it so interesting seeing how 'normal' people approach food, it's soo different to my attitude
[Rant/Rave] Why is it like this?
/u/sp_ceghost [5'7F | 129.6 | UGW 105 | -35lbs]
Created: Tue Jan 23 03:11:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sdg6q/why_is_it_like_this/
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I was 127 the other day and I was soooooooooo freaking happy. I haven't been that low since I started gaining weight from my natural weight (102 ish). I went a full day without eating, had a sugary fishbowl cocktail, a few bites of dinner and I woke up 3lbs smaller. The feeling when I saw it was....insane. Now I'm terrified I won't see that on the scale ever again (even though I've averaged <1000 net cals and only one meal every day since then) and I don't know what to do with myself. I looked in the mirror and I noticed that my stomach was becoming more concave and I panicked because I thought it looked gross (on me) and it isn't what I want. I'm only allowed to weigh myself on Saturdays and all I can think about is the scale going back up. I want to hurt myself. I'm so hungry, I'm scared to gain, I'm tired of this, I don't want to be 130 ever again and if I am I will cry so hard because it's just so freaking hard to get below 130 for whatever reason, I've been stuck here for so freaking long and I don't know what to do. I don't want to be like this anymore.
This was a gigantic mess, I'm sorry. I just needed to write it out.
Going to bed feeling perfectly satiated (not hungry but not full) and the anxiety is so bad
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Tue Jan 23 00:47:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7scvoo/going_to_bed_feeling_perfectly_satiated_not/
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I get this horrible physical anxiety, like a pit sinking feeling in my stomach and my heart races whenever Iām not overly full. Iāve been guessing thatās why Iām prone to constantly overeating, because it numbs/dulls that shitty anxious feeling when Iām not in pain/discomfort from being overly full.
I realized that in order to be at my goal weight (skinny but still in the healthy range) and goal lifestyleāwhich is just maintaining that weightāI have to really be able to heal this need to constantly be in pain from overeating.
Iām starting it today, and today my brain is cooperating (Iām not in āI donāt give a fuck about my goals just scarf everything downā mode), but this weird anxiety is so shitty.
Aside from being a little bloated from general digestion issues Iāve been having (side note has anyone ever tried a colon cleanse and liked it? I just started one hoping itāll help), my stomach feels great. I donāt feel hungry but I donāt feel too full. I know Iāll wake up in the morning with a nice about of hunger that will allow me to eat a proper sized breakfast without feeling too full again. But my heart is still thumping and Iām constantly trying not to think about food.
I think my body goes in panic mode if I feel any hungry at all. But I need to be able to learn how to make peace with this. I know logically that I will always have access to plenty of food and that I will never go dangerously hungry, and this panic has sabotaged me my whole life.
[Discussion] What's your story? When did your disorder begin?
/u/Ifukitallthetime
Created: Tue Jan 23 00:18:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7scrgt/whats_your_story_when_did_your_disorder_begin/
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I distinctly remember being around 8 years old, snacking on some crackers in my room. My dad opens my door to say goodnight, and sees me eating the crackers. Only thing he says is "no wonder I have such a big girl" and leaves. Didn't actually say goodnight.
Before that moment I didn't think about the fact that I was bigger than my sister's. I had always been a little heavier set than them, but it wasn't something I ever gave a lot of thought to.
Since then I started hiding what I would eat. I would sneak leftovers from the fridge after everyone had gone to bed. Would even steal candy from the store when we went shopping. One time I took some chicken wings from the dining room into the kitchen so nobody saw me eat it. My sister walked in and said "calories don't count if no one sees you eat it". It was supposed to be a joke. She wouldn't have said that if I wasn't fat though.
Once I got into middle school I started self harming, and hated my body . I still have a scar from carving "fat" into my stomache. In 7th grade I started restricting and binging. My weight dropped, but always went back up. In sophomore year I started getting help for my other mental issues, and never talked to anyone about my eating habits. Eventually I gained more confidence and was able to recover for the most part. But food and my weight are constantly still on my mind. I've gained a lot of weight and am now about 40 lbs overweight. I recently started trying to lose it again healthily, and started tracking my calories in MyFitnessPal. Seeing the actual numbers triggered something in me. Initially I set my goal at 1200 calories. Then I set it to 1000 but told myself I can't go above 800. I'm obsessed with calculating how much weight I'll lose in how long. Technically my BMI is placing me in the obese range and it's fucking with me. I gave in tonight and had a 200 cal dinner. Still didnt quite reach 800 for the day, which i was please about, but my stomache is full and i feel like garbage.
I'm a control freak by nature, and seeing the control I have over these numbers and my weight is so satisfying and addicting. It's not even about being skinny, its about being able to get the number lower. Knowing that I had the self control to do it.
[Other] my therapist ______
/u/101_honey [š¼5'1.5" / cw-2fat // wl-5bls// bmi-29 // gw-101]
Created: Tue Jan 23 00:11:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7scqcq/my_therapist/
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lets play a game! im trying to adjust to therapy/maybe group therapy ugh but!! what's the weirdest/funniest/maybe most nonsensical thing your therapist has said??????
[Thinspo] Bullet Journal Thinspo, does anyone else keep physical pics?
/u/Arcadian_Archangel [5ā9 | 136lbs | 19 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 23:56:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7scnve/bullet_journal_thinspo_does_anyone_else_keep/
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https://v.redd.it/99nwco15mrb01
[Other] Just discovered /r/1200isplenty ...
/u/Just-That-Other-Guy [5'11" | CW: 146 lbs | BMI: 20.4 | SW: 230 lbs | -84 lbs]
Created: Mon Jan 22 22:57:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7scdpf/just_discovered_r1200isplenty/
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...and I'm in love with it. So many low cal recipes and just looking at all the pictures is like food porn. Thought y'all might enjoy it too.
[Rant/Rave] A song that fuels my ED like no other...
/u/deadpetz [5'11"|CW: 159.2 lbs|BMI: 22.2|Weight Lost: -105.8 lbs|Male]
Created: Mon Jan 22 22:41:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7scawf/a_song_that_fuels_my_ed_like_no_other/
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The artist Lykke Li and her music is major restriction fuel for me, go listen to her song Time Flies and tell me that it doesn't make you picture the whole 'walking in the cold with a lit cigarette' aesthetic that I crave hahaha.
[Intro] I think I finally found people who think like I do (Intro)
/u/cakecakepiecake [5'3 |CW:117 lb| 20.73 | GW:95 lb| F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 22:27:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sc8ip/i_think_i_finally_found_people_who_think_like_i/
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TL;DR:
I'm hoping I belong here, I don't have a diagnosed eating disorder, but I've never had a healthy relationship with food.
It began at a young age. I used to throw up at least three times a week starting from around age 5. Went through a battery of tests and doctors could not figure out why. When I got older, I would binge eat, and then throw up because food made me sick. There are food I can't eat because I always throw them up (cheesecake, enchiladas, Halo Top).
I used to forgo food when I was in trouble. I felt like I didn't deserve to eat. I also didn't eat when I was dancing in high school, and my mom was worried about my weight. I was very sick my senior year and weighed 100 lbs. But I never saw a thin person in the mirror.
I went up to 140lbs when I was in a bad relationship at 22. My boyfriend made fun of my body and was critical about how much I was eating. Once I dumped him and started dating my new boyfriend (now husband), I got back into calorie counting. I was eating 1000 calories a day while riding my bike 8 miles a day, plus going to the gym 3 times a week.
Loosing the weight was awesome, even though I still felt fat. I felt like I was high. Everyone thought I looked great, and I was confident that I could get back down to 100 lbs. But I got stuck at 113 for weeks. I cut down my calories even more and started a second job, which meant I had to ride my bike more (didn't drive). Turns out I was pregnant. Found out at 12 weeks and I was still 113 pounds. I managed to gain weight slowly. I didn't show until I was 7 months and I didn't tell people I was pregnant (outside family and work). But then I was hit by a drunk driver and was on modified bedrest for the rest of my pregnancy. I ballooned up to 150. I didn't want people to see me, and I didn't want my picture taken.
I was diagnosed with OCD and Bipolar disorder last year. My psychiatrist is still figuring out which meds work for me. With all the craziness in my life, I've gone back to restricting. And I started purging.
I feel like I can't talk to anyone in real life about this. Most people in my life are overweight. I'm afraid to bring this up to my psychiatrist, because I feel like she doesn't really listen to me. I also don't want another diagnosis on top of everything.
[Other] I guess it was just a phase.
/u/unpollutedfantasy [š„]
Created: Mon Jan 22 22:25:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sc83s/i_guess_it_was_just_a_phase/
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So Iām back at school after nine months out of school. Iām living on campus and I have new roommates. Last year my roommate worked a lot and spent a lot of weekends with her boyfriend. So I was able to binge and purge dominos like every weekend
Now I have 3 roommates so thereās people coming in and out of the suite at random times. I donāt want to even be caught or heard purging, so I guess Iām not doing that anymore...
Like maybe Iāll purge next time I go home, idk. Iām still trying to restrict my calories, but Iām not successful, Iām eating the amount of calories one would eat if they were on a diet.
But this just shows me that I was just making it up the whole time. If I can just choose not to purge, then I chose to purge in the past. And I chose to binge because I could just purge it.
So I guess I had an eating disorder by choice?
[Other] New version of an old motive I posted on here a while ago
/u/psydorable
Created: Mon Jan 22 21:37:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sbyxa/new_version_of_an_old_motive_i_posted_on_here_a/
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https://i.redd.it/erry055lxqb01.jpg
Justifying my binges
/u/kaelidoscope [5'0 | CW 102.5 | GW: 90 | 20.87 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 21:34:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sby7e/justifying_my_binges/
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I ate way more than I planned to today because I am beginning to get sick (my immune system has always been garbage) and ate a lot of hearty high-cal soup to feel better.
I binged on Saturday because I reached my new lowest weight and wanted to treat myself.
I binge casually because I get bored.
Or when another bout of depression hits.
Or when I feel guilty for binging.
And I am so damn tired of feeling like trash when I don't even want food most of the times I start binging? Why am I like this?
Uh so I wrote a poem about hating myself
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 113 |19.4| GW:105 | -32 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 21:03:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sbrrb/uh_so_i_wrote_a_poem_about_hating_myself/
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Tw: suicide/selfharm/ed stuff ya'll know what it is
A padded coffin is not as grand as you may think
sometimes it's too dark and my thoughts come to me
I let the worries fill my body like a meal replacement
The coffin sucks me in, not like i had the energy to leave anyway
Is this because of my depression or because im eating muscle now?
At this point, is there really any difference?
I lose my memory at the same rate I lose fat or friends
Not fast enough to notice immediately,
until a year later I can't remember my childhood, or why I'm a size 3
Why can nobody stand to be around me?
Maybe it's because I can't recall their birthday or age or even the day
I drink water only so I can continue crying peacefully
Do I really not enjoy this? The most interesting thing about me
In this padded coffin I wait for my body to merge into the comforter,
for the comforter to melt into the beams, and for the beams
to decay into the ground and let me feed.
Let my body decompose into something useful
My nails are tired of scratching the lid to this coffin
I'm tired of realizing the walls are closing in and feeling dread
I wasn't good enough to die yet.
If I stay here long enough, maybe I'll even forget what good is
In my bed, I'll wait here until it happens.
[Discussion] Bruising and Periods
/u/Bleepbloopbroke [65|CW 106.4|GW 95|UGW 84|17.91| -26.6| F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 20:58:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sbqpy/bruising_and_periods/
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Okay I have 2 different things I want to ask everyone about but I'll just put them in the same post.
1. Do you guys bruise really easily after restricting/losing weight? I've been getting massive bruises on my legs and I don't know where they're from.
2. At what point did you lose your period? I'm actually kinda disappointed that I'm still getting mine and not only that, but the cramping and headaches are worse than before.
I'm really just curious what other peoples' experiences with these things are
[Rant/Rave] Oh the irony...
/u/EvilSheepUprising
Created: Mon Jan 22 20:27:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sbk6p/oh_the_irony/
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Iām part of a team that goes around to various canteens at a university campus and teaches healthy lifestyle choices to the store vendors and cleaners.
Itās only a temp job and my duty is mainly just mundane administrative work, but itās kinda funny and almost hypocritical how Iām over here restricting while my supervisors are teaching wholesome nutrition facts š
[Thinspo] Ugh...Imagine having hips like this. [thinspo]
/u/i-rate [5'5 | 120 | 20.63I | 21.2 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 20:20:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sbinv/ughimagine_having_hips_like_this_thinspo/
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https://i.imgur.com/SXiGeSS.jpg
[Help] Laxatives and school
/u/wolfcries
Created: Mon Jan 22 20:12:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sbgsu/laxatives_and_school/
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Backstory, I gave in on friday and binged (it wasnāt a full blown binge. It felt like one for me though) I ate a fuckton of toast on yogurt and other shit and I ended up taking 2 laxatives which kicked in Saturday afternoon. Iād never taken them before and they hurt so bad I promised myself I wouldnāt never put myself through that again but here we are.
After eating probably 2500+ calories yesterday, I promised myself I would fast for two days but today I ended up eating the rest of my safe foods (which are the only foods we have in the house thankfully) but it was a lot and I was going to throw up but I couldnāt get myself to so I panicked and took 3 laxatives and ended up slicing my leg up pretty bad. I have school tomorrow at 7:00 not to mention yoga (requirement for school) which is probably gonna end up opening my cuts and hurting like a bitch. The logical thing to do would be to stay home if the laxatives donāt kick in tonight but i have a test tomorrow and I just need someone to reassure me on what to do. I sound like a piss baby but I have nobody else to talk to about this someone talk to me please
[Rant/Rave] [RANT] Roommate life.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5" | CW š± | -25.6lbs]
Created: Mon Jan 22 20:01:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sbe8n/rant_roommate_life/
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I generally like my roommate. We have a lot of hobbies in common and she keeps to herself most of the time. At this very moment however I'm irrationally angry with her.
Why, you may ask?
She cooked herself dinner. We almost never share meals (great for me), but I have to smell the huge load of french fries she just cooked. The apartment smells like grease. I'm disgusted by it while also riding a painful wave of hunger.
Ugh, I'm going to light a scented candle and try to distract myself.
[Rant/Rave] Mom confronted me
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 97lbs | 14.59 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 19:56:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sbd3j/mom_confronted_me/
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My mom finally confronted me about my relapse. She told me I need to go back into treatment but I really don't want to. She's going to call my ED therapist but I have no idea what that will do. I know she's upset which always upsets me. She told me I'm going to ruin my semester because I'll get too sick and I'll ruin my GPA.
I knew she would find out somehow, I just thought she would have to be told by someone. She's always in denial about things, but this time she figured it out on her own.
Well hopefully this means she'll buy me diet coke and low cal foods and that she'll stop trying to fatten me up.
[Discussion] Psychiatrist evaluation?
/u/lostinitt
Created: Mon Jan 22 19:48:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sbbgm/psychiatrist_evaluation/
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Hi, I have been following along/lurking for a while but this is my first post! Anyways I went to therapy for the 2nd time today and my therapist wants me to see a Psychiatrist to get evaluated, anyone know what that is like? I haven't called yet cuz it makes me nervous, just curious what they ask, etc...also I have never been diagnosed (never really talked about my food relationship, etc until now..wasn't ready) but how long does it usually take to get a diagnosis? Sorry for all the questions lol!
[Rant/Rave] Bday cake Quest bars are amazingly good (+ a sort of progress pic).
/u/IndigoSeasons [5'9" | CW 138 | CGW 118 | BMI 20 | Female]
Created: Mon Jan 22 19:38:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sb948/bday_cake_quest_bars_are_amazingly_good_a_sort_of/
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https://i.redd.it/qq9we3f9cqb01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I was doing so good :(
/u/bbybluez
Created: Mon Jan 22 18:48:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7say6o/i_was_doing_so_good/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does this sound like disordered eating to you? Looking for opinions & possibly advice.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 22 17:55:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sam56/does_this_sound_like_disordered_eating_to_you/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone else get lowkey triggered by their SOās body type?
/u/InterchangeableMoon [Height 5'0" | CW 110 | GW 98 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 17:43:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sajd5/does_anyone_else_get_lowkey_triggered_by_their/
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In my particular experience, my SO has like 10% body fat without even trying and Iām over here EC stacking and eating <800 calories a day, and going to the gym 6 days a week. Itās really frustrating.
Of course Iām super super super attracted to them, but Iām like... why are you attracted to me at all????????? I donāt get it.
Accountability buddy?
/u/greentea08
Created: Mon Jan 22 17:30:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sagif/accountability_buddy/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Nothing makes me happier, but nothing makes me sadder, than food.
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Mon Jan 22 17:27:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7safla/nothing_makes_me_happier_but_nothing_makes_me/
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I love food. I love eating. I love the way the flavors burst on my tongue and feel inside my mouth and fill my belly with warmth. It makes me smile. It's comforting. The sensations are a way to escape the numbness I feel nearly all the time, and to silence the terrible things I think the remainder of the time.
But.
The weight of a meal in my stomach makes me feel sick and cumbersome. The feeling of grease on my skin makes me want a shower. I hate the sound of chewing. I hate being satiated. When i eat, I miss the pill and tug of hunger gnawing away at me. I love when my jeans get too loose. I love the concerned looks from people who know me. I love the burst of joy when I see the number on the scale drop.
It is paradoxical and exhausting for my favorite things to be so at odds.
[Rant/Rave] Found the cure
/u/janicat [5'9 | 107 | 15.52 | -18 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 17:06:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7saai3/found_the_cure/
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So found the cure to the purging part of my purging-type anorexia- poverty! I recently took a 50%+ pay cut to move into a new field i really wanted to get into with the indication I would likely be promoted within a few months to full-time and salaried. Well it hasnāt happened yet and Iāve burned through my savings in about 5 months. My side job has also over hired and itās nearly impossible to get shifts on the weekends.
But, this means no more binging and/or purging! In fact, I canāt even afford to eat! Breakfast/Lunch I had a bagel. For dinner, some white rice and soy sauce i found in my pantry. Tomorrow Iāll have oatmeal for breakfast/lunch and rice again for dinner. Essentially, Iāll be living on cheap carbs until payday on Friday.
Want to know the ironic part? The specialization for my 9-5 job is food security and economic development šš
[Rant/Rave] Need some positivity
/u/flowerxng [5'5.5''| cw: ugh | i just wanted to be happy]
Created: Mon Jan 22 17:01:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sa9c5/need_some_positivity/
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Got my first period ever yesterday and really broke down. Like, yeah, I'm 16, and I should be getting my period, but it's really pissing me off because it means I'm "healthy" even though I've been losing weight. So I restricted a lot. Didn't eat dinner last night, only ate 410 calories today (I usually eat around 1500 to avoid my mom nagging). Good/bad news: I finally broke out of the 17s for BMI, now I'm in the 16s. Bad news: My mom wants me to go to the hospital to get checked out. Also, I can't swim or do any school activities, obviously. I really hate that I'm throwing my life away for this stupid period thing but I just can't stop, I want to be skinny and even unhealthy so bad I don't know why. And honestly, restricting feels so good. It feels so good to have control back.
[Discussion] What is it about chocolate?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 131.2 | BMI: 25.7 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 16:37:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sa3iw/what_is_it_about_chocolate/
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I see a lot of people on here who constantly find themselves craving chocolate. I myself do not get these cravings- when I get binge cravings they are for savory things like cheeseburgers, tacos, pasta, etc... basically carbs and meat that Iād never in a million years eat. I like to have a dessert after dinner but I never find myself explicitly craving chocolate and I can have 1 piece without wanting to binge on it- salt is where I am weak. What do you guys think it is that draws you to it so much? I know everyone is different but I see it mentioned on here SO much that inquiring minds want to know.
[Help] Need some support rn
/u/Throwawaytortle
Created: Mon Jan 22 16:29:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7sa1n7/need_some_support_rn/
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This is my life right now: my ex boyfriends body was found washed up this morning on a local beach. He was found naked, wearing only socks and shoes, and his clothes and wallet were found washed up nearby.
Guys, this is fucked. Like make me spin out of control and binge and self destruct level of fucked. Iām not really sure how to react. Iām not crying at all. We broke up two years ago. He was a heroin addict when I kicked him out. And I blocked him on my phone and Facebook. I hadnāt talked to him at all. And now he is dead. Fuck. I want to eat everything but at the same time I canāt eat anything and Iām so many conflicting emotions rn. He was 24. I want to drink but I donāt want to drink at all. Fuckkk. I donāt even know why Iām writing this but I needed to vent somewhere that I could be anonymous, hence the throwaway.
I hope everyoneās day is a lot less shocking. I have no idea how to process. I donāt think I can go to the funeral; I havenāt seen his family in two years and I donāt want problems with his current gf, who obviously is going to be mourning hard. Ugh. Drugs are bad. He was a good person deep down, but the drugs changed him and I couldnāt deal with the addiction bullsht and kicked him out. Saw him at the gym a few months ago. Sorry this isnāt totally ED related, mods. Iām on mobile please tag as support. Ugh. Fuck heroin and Fuck feeling like I need to binge rn.
[Rant/Rave] Raised by narcissists/origin story
/u/144magnoliaskreet
Created: Mon Jan 22 15:23:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s9kv6/raised_by_narcissistsorigin_story/
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I was having trouble sleeping last night and went down a reddit wormhole that eventually led me to the subreddit r/raisedbynarcissists. After reading through a ton of the posts, I sort of had an epiphany about my disordered eating habits/terrible relationship with food and I'm curious if any of y'all have had similar experiences.
Disclaimer: I'm not sure my mom is a full-blown narcissist, and I will say that our relationship is 1000000% improved now that I am financially independent, have been to therapy, and live across the country. She is my mom and I love her despite her flaws. It's just that reading a lot of others' accounts with controlling/emotionally abusive parents that brought all this up in my mind.
So my mom has always been obsessed with dieting, and would always complain about being fat in front of me from as early as I can remember. She's an attractive woman, not fat by any means, but her side of the family are all overweight or obese. Weight has always been something she struggled to maintain (I know she is not as thin as she'd like to be) and from a young age was something I was taught to pay attention to.
My earliest memory of being shamed by her was 3rd or 4th grade when we were back to school shopping, I came out in an outfit I thought was cute. Lowrise jeans were in fashion back then, and I had tried some on at Old Navy. I came out of the fitting room and she goes "we are NOT getting that -- your gut's hanging out!" That became the fucking catch phrase of the next 2-3 years: "your gut's hanging out." Want a bikini instead of a one piece? Sure, if you want to walk around with your gut hanging out. Trying on clothes? You need a bigger size, your gut's hanging out. Keep in mind I was an 8 or 9 year old child at a healthy weight. Sure I had some adipose tissue, as many healthy children do, but I had no "gut" to speak of. Anyway, it was like a veil was ripped from my eyes and I became aware of all the squishy parts of my body that were undesirable.
In addition to less than kind comments, everything we ate was heavily controlled. For example, in middle school I was grounded for a month because my mom found starburst wrappers in my room hidden under my pillow (she snooped through my room daily.) I had received the candy in class for answering a question correctly and ate it in my room -- she went absolutely bezerk on me the second I got home from school the following day. I was walking up to our house with a friend and she came out holding the wrappers, screaming.
Anything deemed unhealthy was banned from being kept in the house, which basically caused me to develop a free-for-all relationship with junkfood; if you have access to it, better eat it all, and quick while you have the chance, and do it in secret so no one finds out. Sound familiar?
I soon developed restrictive habits followed w binge+purging around the time I started 6th grade. I would skip most meals until I couldn't stand it and then binge. I figured out how to purge after learning about bulimia in health class. They showed that movie where the girl pukes into ziplocks and measures it on a scale and I was like "oh, that's pretty smart!" Boom. I started purging all the time. I lost a lot of weight and was initially praised for it.
It got really bad in 8th grade when we moved across the state. Starting a new school with no friends was hard and drove me deeper into my disordered behavior. I eventually came to realize that what I was doing to myself wasn't ok or normal and I eventually sought help through our school nurse. Before I told her what had been going on, I asked if I could talk to her without her telling my parents and she assured me that I could talk to her confidentially. Well, that was a lie because a few days later she contacted my mom. I came home from school and found her waiting at the end of the driveway, livid. She started screaming about how I was an embarrassment and how mortified she was to have received a call like that from the school, etc. I honestly don't think she even considered that I was struggling/suffering, it was all about what *I* was doing to *her*.
My disordered behavior continued on through high school into college. High school was probably the worst time for me because I had little to no control over any aspect of my life, so I restricted heavily. I became good friends with another girl who had an eating disorder at my school and we fueled each other's disordered behaviors. It sucks, I don't see her much anymore due to living very far away, but to this day we are both still triggered when we are around one another. My mother became increasingly controlling and I began to rebel, desiring my own autonomy. College was easier as I was finally away from her control. She still attempted to manipulate me financially, but I was able to take out loans and receive scholarships that allowed me to finally be free. I have a better handle on things now but disordered thinking is something I still struggle with today at 25.
I could drone on and on about all the fucked up shit she did over the years but I've already written a small novel. It felt good to get this all out, so if you're still with me, thanks for reading.
Anyone else have fucked up parents? How has it contributed to your mental health as an adult?
[Discussion] where do you guys buy clothes/belts
/u/grape_fruits [5'3.5" | last i checked, 102 lbs | 19F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 14:45:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s9an4/where_do_you_guys_buy_clothesbelts/
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I've noticed that pretty much all my high waisted pants/shorts have extra room at the waist but all the belts I've seen are ~27 inches for the smallest hole. My waist isn't even that small and I'm not like, super skinny you know? So idk why it's so hard for me to find stuff that fits and I figured I might be looking in the wrong places, so who better to ask? Thanks in advance!
[Rant/Rave] āYouāre looking really healthyā
/u/spiNACHOcolate [Height:1m70 | CW:55.5kg | HW:69kg | GW:52kg | F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 14:31:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s96uh/youre_looking_really_healthy/
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Today I decided to visit the high school teachers who got me to university; nothing special - I visit them three times a year. These guys are incredible and genuinely care for me more than most ex-teachers do for ex-pupils.
They follow my social media accounts and know about my troubles with food and so have seen me as a 49kg zombie just over a year ago. When I showed up one of them exclaimed with absolute delight āWOW youāre looking extremely healthy!ā
Of course, this reaction was absolutely lovely because I have gained and yeah, Iām not underweight anymore. What this teacher doesnāt know is that Iāve relapsed and havenāt exceeded 800kCal per day for a few days and that I intend to drop 4kg at least. If he knew heād be beyond disappointed.
Idk what Iām wanting from this, I just needed a went because Iām letting him down.
[Rant/Rave] Idk if anyone remembers or cares
/u/Discountmein [5'6" | 148 | 23.9 | 77lbs down | Agender]
Created: Mon Jan 22 14:26:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s95fk/idk_if_anyone_remembers_or_cares/
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I posted awhile ago about getting married and feeling super super anxious about my body, my dress, photos, everything. I was successful at maintaining my weight (!!!) and I had a great time with the photographer even though I hate getting my photos taken. BUT of course something wild had to happen and it sure did: my dress came in at a size 14. I am a size 8. I ordered a size 8 and someone pulled the wrong fucking dress.
I rolled with it in the moment and truly enjoyed my wedding day and getting married to my amazing husband. But godDAMN it was like a nightmare the moment I put on the dress and it hung off me... that awful moment scared me more than I can say. It doesnāt help that I tried the dress on for the first time (outside the store) about five minutes before the ceremony.
Fuck you (well known Dress Store). Thank goodness for the best MOH ever ever ever and DBT therapy. Without them, my wedding would have been a disaster.
[Rant/Rave] My head (or stomach) doesn't know what it wants
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 205.4 | GW1 199 | UGW 130? | 35.6 | 25 F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 14:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s91s9/my_head_or_stomach_doesnt_know_what_it_wants/
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I've been mostly being good lately, only eating 1 meal a day with maybe 1 snack. I knew yesterday wasn't going to be a good one because I went to an event with samples to taste, but I was going to be good the rest of the day. Then a friend decided to buy me and someone else lunch so I just got my usual to not seem odd. The good news is that I was actually full before I was even done! Other times I'm still a bit hungry after so that's a win at least. While I was over on calories eaten, I burned off all but 600 of them, so I was semi-ok with that.
Now today, I have the chance at an all day fast and wanted to see if I could do it. I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday so I'm at 24 hrs now. I have a headache that's making everything difficult. I've thought about eating something that's under 300 cals, so I have enough left over in case my bf comes home tonight so he sees me eat. But I also am being really tempted by chocolate right now. A friend gave me some of my favorite chocolate and I want to have some, but I feel if I had one I'd eat them all and then a thousand other things.
I keep going round in circles in my mind about eating nothing, eating just a bit, or eating everything. My mind keeps arguing for and against every option. FML
Why can't I just be one of those skinny girls with a turbo metabolism that can eat everything without gaining anything. That seems like a dream come true to me!
[Rant/Rave] Becoming unhinged šššš
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 14:10:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s919l/becoming_unhinged/
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Yāall.
Through a series of unfortunate, very stupid (involving guys duh lmao kill me), and shitty medical events beyond my control,I feel myself kind of approaching the edge here.
All I can do is think that I donāt deserve good things, everything I have is by mistake and that I shouldnāt get anything nice or treat myself kindly.
All I want to do is restrict myself to eat jello (and a protein shake for a tiny bit of sustenance) for the test of my life until I look sickly and see what I think I deserve to look like.
Have people done this to me? Have I done this to myself? Am I just being paranoid or dramatic?
Itās just getting alarmingly close to when I really went off the deep end mentally a few years ago and Iām scared.
[Discussion] Can't recover cause of inadequacy
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 14:07:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s90jm/cant_recover_cause_of_inadequacy/
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I have done a lot of thinking lately, particularly given that lately I have been struggling even more than usual with keeping to recovery.
Something I realized is that I have only ever been good at two things in my life, school and starvation. Well I am out of school now, but per the terms of recovery I am not allowed to starve.
I have nothing I am competent at anymore. I am not good at my job or the few hobbies I have. And that is why I keep tending towards restricting, cause I was really fucking good at that. I was raised being told my value came from my ability to be competent and successful with my work and hobbies, and now that I don't have that anymore the only thing I know I can be good at is this fucking ED. No matter what I try I can't shake the feeling that I will feel good again once I can take pride in being fantastic at something.
Has anyone ever found a way to get around this sort of thinking?
[Rant/Rave] Finally did it!!
/u/emaxiii
Created: Mon Jan 22 13:59:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s8y7o/finally_did_it/
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Hello hello hello, yes I finally created a second account so I can comment and post without judgement from people on the other subs Iām in. Iāve been lurking for a while but I always held back from posting because I was scared my BF would see it or someone would dig through my post history and idk use it to shame me I guess?
I finally did another thing today tooā started meal prepping. I made all my food yesterday and now I have everything in exact amounts boxed out for the week. Breakfast is tea with a shot of rice milk (~10), lunch is a protein bar (~200), dinner is 2 cups of vegetarian chili (~300). Lunch is the only thing I will be changing throughout the week, itāll be various roasted veggies.
[Help] Joining a gym??? With my social anxiety????
/u/yssjfs [SW:160|LW:112|CW:130.8|GW:ā ]
Created: Mon Jan 22 13:42:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s8tg6/joining_a_gym_with_my_social_anxiety/
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Haha sorry if the title is a bit strange... I've decided I need to join a gym! Doing online research I think I've settled on one.
So like... how does one 'join a gym'? I'm an anxious wreck over this to be honest. I don't have any friends to go with and have never really even worked out before. I signed up for a trial membership online for a chain to give it a shot, now what? Do I just like... show up and hop on an elliptical? how does one operate an elliptical...
How do I handle anyone who's rude about my level of physical strength??
These are mainly all rhetorical, but if anyone could talk my panicking ass down that would be great!!! I love my anxiety!!!!
[Discussion] DAE have foods that they can only eat in private for whatever reason?
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | CW 115 | GW 100 | 26F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 13:35:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s8rl4/dae_have_foods_that_they_can_only_eat_in_private/
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Like today i was eating PB2 + water with a spoon and my roommate came home and basically scarfed it all down at once because i didn't want him to see me eating it? anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] Drank last night and didn't binge!
/u/SinfulCinnamon
Created: Mon Jan 22 13:33:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s8qvk/drank_last_night_and_didnt_binge/
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So I had a work party last night and wasn't self conscious about myself in the presence of other girls or worrying about a damn thing all night long. It was awesome. Proud of myself for not going psycho when I was drunk which I tend to do nowadays (haven't drank since NYE for that reason) and for not eating my body weight in cheese/crackers from the charcuterie plates that were out. I had one shrimp kabob and was very satisfied. Overall it was a solid night and I had a lot of fun. Now if I can do that every time I have an event to attend that would be nice. How was everyone else's weekend? :)
[Discussion] DAE love watching shows like Supersize vs Superskinny or my 600 lb life?
/u/flowersnpowers
Created: Mon Jan 22 13:27:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s8p5i/dae_love_watching_shows_like_supersize_vs/
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I see the skinny peeps and think they look beautiful, and seeing the fat people reminds me to stay on course so I don't end up looking like them.
I also love junk food so I watch them eat and live vicariously through them.
[Help] Is anyone happy with their face changes after losing weight?
/u/nordic_alien [167cm | 130lbs | 22 | 20lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 12:56:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s8grj/is_anyone_happy_with_their_face_changes_after/
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I naturally have a really full moon face... and I am wanting to get down to about 50kg. I am so worried my face is not going to lean out at all. Can anyone share their positive stories about face changes with weight loss?
I am so tired of having a fatty, bloated face (looks like carb face even though I primarily eat lean proteins (incl. dairy) and vegetables and fruit)... And I am feeling SUPER discouraged because I went up about 10 lbs from eating more than I usually do and being too depressed to exercise due to breakup. I cannot seem to break into the 120's right now. >:(
[Thinspo] Suzana Rodrigues
/u/Zurthrow [5'4| CW:128 | HW:150 | GW2:125 | 22F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 12:20:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s86rb/suzana_rodrigues/
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https://imgur.com/a/WfE6s
[Help] Good ED literature
/u/doggcatt613
Created: Mon Jan 22 11:59:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s80zr/good_ed_literature/
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Hi everyone!
I recently admitted I have anorexia and exercise bulimia to my mom. She has been nothing but supportive and is trying to learn as much as she can about it.
However, she always seems to say the wrong thing and doesn't understand a lot of what I'm feeling. Does anyone have any books or articles that are good that explain how to talk to someone with an ED or a "what not to say," I guess?
Thanks guys :)
[Other] I just need someone to hear me
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword
Created: Mon Jan 22 11:52:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s7z4r/i_just_need_someone_to_hear_me/
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Hey guys. I forgot my password to my old account. Formerly was CANT_CATCH_ME.
Iāve been struggling a lot lately and I wrote out my thoughts and I just need to know that someone out there hears me.
**Feelings. By me**
**Rage**
It comes and goes
Without direction
Without structure
Without reason
People I loved
Bother me
Why am I like this
Why donāt I give anymore?
I take
Take
Take
Take
Selfish piece of shit.
**Hurt**
The smallest thing
Can break me
Or am I already just broken?
I try so hard
To be good
To be a good soldier
But I am nothing
One mistake
Defines me
One remark
Crushes me
I am the remains
The leftovers
The shards
Of someone who was once happy.
**Numb**
I am nothing
I am no one
Where did I go?
Who am I anymore?
Is there anything left of me
for the army to take?
To destroy?
Where did the old me go?
**Mean**
I donāt give.
I donāt share.
I donāt smile.
I donāt interact.
I think one thing
Me
Me
Me
Me
**Disgust**
How can I be this way?
How can I be
So horrible
So useless
So annoying
Where did the old me go?
I used to be someone.
I used to have a personality
I used to be happy.
Now Iām pathetic and fat.
Stop eating
Stop eating
Stop eating
STOP. EATING.
**Sad**
I mourn the loss
Of the girl
The army killed.
I hate the stranger left in her place.
Why wonāt anybody notice
That the old me is dead
And the new me
Is in so much pain.
I just
Need help
And love
And maybe a hug.
Will someone please
Notice me?
Hear me?
Please?
I really need someone to hear me.
[Help] Scale help?
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [bulimiaayy lmao]
Created: Mon Jan 22 11:28:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s7sjk/scale_help/
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So I went to the doctor the other day. Their scale read 10lbs higher than mine. After freaking out all weekend, I tried recalibrating my scale by measuring some dumbbells with listed weights and... It was accurate? For 5, 10, and 20lb dumbbells, at least...
I'm so confused. Shouldn't the doctor's scale be more accurate? Which one should I trust?
[Rant/Rave] Irony
/u/delicatcerise [5'6 | 116.8 | 18.9 | GW: idk | 24F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 11:27:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s7s8o/irony/
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**Is being triggered into a relapse by someone who treats patients with eating disorders lmao.**
When I was 15, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. My way of coping was to starve myself and I went from 140-something lbs at 5'5 to at least 108lbs in a couple months. Idk after that because my mom took away the scale. Later our neighbor called her because she had seen me walking to school and said I looked "gaunt". So my mom took me to the doctor, who basically threatened to put in IP if I lost more weight. I'm fucking terrified of hospitals, so I started eating normally. I gained weight, freaked the fuck out, started restricting again. Which led to binges. And I suck at puking so I began over exercising to the point of physical exhaustion. RINSE AND REPEAT for like, 3 years.
My dad died when I was 18. That was also when I moved out on my own. Cue massive relapse. At some point, I started funneling that obsessiveness into fitness (honestly I think my ass was getting flabby and I was like "aw hell nah"). Got really fit and began to view food as fuel for my body and not the enemy.
I still had bad body image days, but I felt like my relationship with food was healthier. Until my SO and I went out with some friends a few weeks ago. We're at a bar and I'm eating fucking french fries when this girl, who is a dietitian/therapist who treats eating disordered patients, exclaims "Oh my god, look at that girl's legs!"
So I turn around with my fucking mouth full of fries and there is this perfect model-esque gothy girl wearing black skinny jeans on her perfect fucking legs. Her thighs were as big as my goddamn calves. Everyone else in our group is just clutching their pearls over how skinny she is. And I'm like, **fuck**.
I've amped up my workouts. I workout 6 days a week, an hour on the elliptical 3 times a week, jump roping the other days, donkey kicks until I can't feel my ass. I bought one of those under desk cycles and pedal for at least 1.5 hours Monday-Friday at work. I meal prep on Sundays for the week and I've subconsciously been calorie counting again. I want to be healthy, and I kind of *feel* healthy? I'm eating like 1000-1200 calories of healthy food and not working out to the point of death. I take supplements. My hair and nails are still healthy and my periods haven't been fucked at all.
But I feel obsessive. I've gone from 122lbs to 116.8lbs, which isn't a lot but I can tell I've put on some muscle. I look in the mirror and I simultaneously like what I see and hate it. How? How could one fucking comment derail fucking years of recovery???
I'm so bitter. I want off this shit train.
[Rant/Rave] Psychosis does not go well with an ED
/u/spaceepixiee
Created: Mon Jan 22 11:18:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s7pkj/psychosis_does_not_go_well_with_an_ed/
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Iāve got manic depressive psychosis and itās the WORST, especially with an ED. Iāve got voices telling me Iām fat along with my poor self esteem, and sometimes when Iām finally ok with eating, I get a delusion that my food is poisoned. Thatās just the beginning.
Iām sick of this life. All I am is a mess of disorders.
[Help] Hey proED, I need a favor. Help me create a list of reasons why I should choose recovery every day.
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Mon Jan 22 10:55:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s7ja1/hey_proed_i_need_a_favor_help_me_create_a_list_of/
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ETA I FORGOT TO BRAG THAT ITS BEEN 10 DAYS PURGE FREE WOOT
. . .
I keep hovering a pound above my LW, thinking, ānoooo, I need to be a pound *below* my low weight.ā
I keep doing stupid bargaining tactics with myself. The most dangerous(?) so far: āI can drink less at night if I take my alcohol with a little melatonin.ā Thatās been the past four nights for me.
Stupid me.
Iām making positive progress toward recognizing self-worth, so yay! But Iām still being a dumb-dumb.
Can you help me out?
[Help] Could someone who speaks Japanese please help me understand a nutrition label?
/u/questions_anonymous [5'6.5" | 114 | 18.1 | -50 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 10:47:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s7h69/could_someone_who_speaks_japanese_please_help_me/
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So I ordered this gum from Amazon, and I'm so used to gum being sugar free that I didn't even think to check... I noticed though that the package says something about 32kcal, so now I'm paranoid that it's super sugary. Help please and thanks!
[pic] (https://imgur.com/a/8XWst)
[Help] I have a psychiatrist appt in 2 days. Any advice?
/u/cacathrowaway
Created: Mon Jan 22 10:40:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s7f3o/i_have_a_psychiatrist_appt_in_2_days_any_advice/
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I just got off Abilify, and my appetite is basically nothing since I'm on Welbutrin and Pristiq. I love it. But I'm nervous that the psychiatrist will decrease my dosages, and then I won't be able to restrict anymore. I'm thinking of selectively telling the Psychiatrist the following true things:
* Welbutrin kept me stable for around a decade.
* Pristiq helped while I was on it individually.
* I struggle with binge eating and emotional eating.
All of those things are 100% true, just carefully selected. Are there any other things I can tell the Psych that would help keep me on my current meds?
I have a psychiatrist appt in 2 days. Any advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 22 10:38:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s7eq8/i_have_a_psychiatrist_appt_in_2_days_any_advice/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Nosebleeds from restricting?
/u/That_1bitch
Created: Mon Jan 22 10:24:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s7auo/nosebleeds_from_restricting/
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I've been restricting more and eating a lot less lately and this morning I woke up with a pretty bad nosebleed. I was wondering if the two are connected? Has anyone else had this? I almost never get nosebleeds normally. Is it from lack of a certain vitamin? Thanks in advance if anyone can help me!
[Discussion] Were any of ya'll oblivious to the fact what you were doing was actually considered an ED? [discussion]
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: Landwhale -18lb | GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 10:16:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s78yh/were_any_of_yall_oblivious_to_the_fact_what_you/
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I developed an ED in my late teens/ early 20's. I knew what anorexia and bulimia were. But I never really connected that to myself for the longest time.
I started out counting calories to lose weight I gained in college. I ate whatever calorie amount the app recommended. But I slowly became *obsessed* with food. Rearranging calories in my app, constantly thinking about when I was going to get to eat again, stressing whenever I had to eat something I didn't know the calories in. I started eating skipping meals. I started saving up my calories all day so I could eat boxes of lean cuisines, pints of frozen yogurt, trays full of 'healthy' avocado brownies I had made. Then I started not eating for 2 days so I could eat even more. But hey, it's healthy stuff so it's fine.
Through all this, I knew for sure it wasn't 'normal' but I never realized it was actually ED behavior because I wasn't heavily restricting (yet), was still either overweight or healthy BMI, and I didn't purge. This cycle continues for years yet I remained pretty oblivious.
It wasn't until my sister moved in a few months back that I fully began to realize how fucked up my eating habits are. Seeing her and what a normal relationship with food looks like has been such a tough reminder of how far I've fallen into this cycle.
Mpa is down
/u/aristocat2
Created: Mon Jan 22 10:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s77sd/mpa_is_down/
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[removed]
[Intro] [intro] relapsing back into Mia... again
/u/casualkiss
Created: Mon Jan 22 09:52:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s72b2/intro_relapsing_back_into_mia_again/
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Back in 2016 I used this sub while getting through a relapse of Bulimia, dealing with the expectations of my sorority and feeling inadequate for my boyfriend at the time. I lost about 60lbs within like 4 months... I still didn't think I looked good enough and this sub was very comforting and I knew I wasn't alone... I went to get treatment when it got scary, when I was panicking in the middle of the night and felt like my heart would stop any second.
A year later, I'm overweight and all my doctors were trying all these medications on me that were making me gain weight but it didn't matter because I was "happy".
I feel like a traitor for leaving this sub and I remember there were some really nice people on this sub when I last left. It's really sad that I think this is probably only place in this entire world that you won't feel judged for something that is so misunderstood and much more than just some eating problem.
[Help] I'm in a major downward spiral and don't know what to do :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 22 09:38:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s6ysk/im_in_a_major_downward_spiral_and_dont_know_what/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Getting Older with an ED and experiencing doublethink
/u/littlelumpi [5'1" | 150 | 28.3 | -41| F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 09:33:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s6xgu/getting_older_with_an_ed_and_experiencing/
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Iām about to be 30 next month. Fucking 30. Iām so mad at myself for not being healthy by now. I donāt know whatās more upsetting, still fat at 30 or still struggling with the same cycles and obsession. Still caring so much about my weight.
I feel I have this weird doublethink issue where on one hand I am growing! Im healing old wounds and accepting myself. Iām feeling so unapologetic about my weirdness, Iāve been rocking my natural hair and my eclectic style. Iāve even been more comfortable exposing my fat body, wearing dresses and cooler clothes.
I am walking around speaking and acting as if I have ascended to womanhood and found a sense of security along the way, but not once this entire time have I stopped obsessing about food or about my body. Not once during the months Iāve avoided this sub have I went any substantial amount of time being successfully recovered or whatever. Iāve been doing making my way through binge and restrict cycles this whole time while pretending Iām doing sooooo well. In reality Iām either ātaking care of myself and health (restricting)ā or ābeing kind to myself (binge eating and drinking).ā Im so disappointed that lie to myself, but how do I stop this? I feel like an idiot, honestly.
My friends inevitably age along side me and I see them becoming mothers and fathers and learning to love their bodies as we all start to mature, and I donāt even question it anymore. Iāve gotten better at not projecting my shit onto other people and it has allowed me to adore and support these friends. I stand beside them and I pretend we all love our bodies, and while I can see why our bodies deserve love and respect, I canāt feel that for myself.
Iām not sure if this is making any sense. Iām just bummed for getting back on peach today, for binging all weekend and subconsciously making plans to cut my calories way down. I guess I thought I was making so much progress in other areas of life, but I was really just avoiding this situation. Now 30 is coming and Iām still fat and suddenly desperate to lose before I lose my chance to be happy. This is when I realized Iāve been pretending to be healthy this whole time and it has all been a lie. Iām a role model to other people, Iāve been trying to be positive and strong and provide support and advice to my other friends my same age but I just lie! I tell them advice but itās nothing i apply to my life. I just say and act like what i think is the correct way, and then i wake up one morning and realize Iāve become that fake, ED stereotype. I never thought that was me.
Itās like I hold myself to an impossible standard and even as I grow to be kinder to other people, and even as I grow to understand why my friends shouldnāt stress about their weight or be so hard on themselves about something āso trivialā yet I cannot apply this empathy to myself.
Ugh omg. Iām pissed at myself.
I know there are other women above 28 here, how do you deal with this expectation that youāll age out of your ED? Is this just part of the standard denial? Does anyone else struggle with this.
I quit therapy a few months ago and now Iām just trying to deal with this. I wish I could act like Oh no Iām relapsing but if Iām honest at this point me āgetting betterā is just me lying to myself vs me owning my bad choices.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling stuck
/u/library-cat
Created: Mon Jan 22 09:27:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s6vwf/feeling_stuck/
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Sorry in advance for all the complaining I'm about to do.
So, I graduated from college this past December, a semester earlier than I initially expected to. College was a disaster for me - I don't want to go super into detail rn basically it's a relief to be done with that mess. here's the thing: I graduated with a 3.8 gpa, which I'm astounded by considering how much of a wreck I was the past few years. But I'm still convinced I'm an idiot - the impostor syndrome is REAL, you guys. I'm applying for Real Adult Lady jobs right now and I feel under-qualified for every single one of them. The only thing I feel okay about is restricting my food. Since I'm unemployed, I'm at the gym almost every day, just...passing the time by working out. I feel so stuck and scared. All I do is obsess over food, beat myself up for not applying to jobs, smoke weed, and go to the gym. I'm living with my parents right now and they're very supportive but I feel like if they really knew what was going on in my head they'd be so disappointed in me.
I was hoping to apply to law schools some time in the next year but I have absolutely no faith in my ability to get in. I just don't know where to go from here...there's really not much economic opportunity in my area, and I know if I'm going to be successful I need to move to Philly. but getting to that point seems so impossible. The only thing I feel capable of doing right now is losing weight, and I'm not even good at that. Anxiety has me paralyzed. I'm an adult but I feel like a clueless little kid.
....but hey, at least I'm down three pounds since I last weighed myself. that's something.
[Help] "gappy" leggings?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 22 08:53:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s6n14/gappy_leggings/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Hair loss
/u/daisyhands
Created: Mon Jan 22 08:21:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s6f1s/hair_loss/
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The other night i showered and washed my hair as i usually do. everything was normal until i looked down at my hands and saw a clump of my hair. i panicked and started to run my hands through my hair, which inevitably led to more of my hair coming out on my hands. I am stressed out with school as i have exams right now so i am wondering, could it be the stress, my ED or maybe both?
Working out with jitters?
/u/jholtz27
Created: Mon Jan 22 07:52:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s687k/working_out_with_jitters/
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[removed]
[Help] Date wants to go swimming at the beach????? Need a good excuse!
/u/skeletonne18
Created: Mon Jan 22 07:48:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s677n/date_wants_to_go_swimming_at_the_beach_need_a/
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So Iām in a pickle. Have a date that wants to go to the beach swimming and Iād rather die that have him see me in swimmers :)))) I donāt know what to say to him so I donāt have to go swimming with him, he knows Iām a bit of a beach bum (but I always go by myself so I donāt feel so insecure since itās just me) so he wouldnāt see a reason why I wouldnāt wanna go šš best I can say is I have a hearing test for a new job and donāt want to potentially get water in my ear (which is true) help me pls š
[Help] finally told someone about my ED and now itās worse????
/u/mermaidwithbananas
Created: Mon Jan 22 07:46:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s66va/finally_told_someone_about_my_ed_and_now_its_worse/
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iām extremely new to reddit and this subgroup...but it was recommended to me from facebook. i had a break down last night because i really wanted to binge. like really badly. i called my mom because it was starting to give me an anxiety attack and thatās what i do in that situation. iām on the phone with her telling her how much i want to get takeout, but how i just canāt. finally i break down and tell her that i canāt get it because i know after i eat, iāll want to purge and i just donāt want to do that. she was very supportive and helpful. now, to show my family that i can have it under control i want to eat normally (easier to say) but i know iāll start purging even more if i do. anyone deal with this??? my ED brain is going crazy right now.
[Rant/Rave] Just another Monday
/u/Paladinia [28/F | cbmi 18.31 -> gbmi 17.6 | career bulimic]
Created: Mon Jan 22 07:39:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s657a/just_another_monday/
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So, I've been really good about not bingeing and purging for the past few weeks. I almost felt like I'd broken the cycle, maybe. But then today happened.
See, I'm very particular about my food, which is nothing strange here. I have to plan my whole day ahead the night before, then have access to the planned out foods at the correct times in correct amounts yada, yada, you get it. Even the TINIEST disruptions to this system can cause a B/P episode, and I am talking *laughably minuscule things,* like not finding the correct size spoon to eat with. Makes no sense, but that's just how it is.
So today at first, the heating system in my apartment fails. Okay, okay, not so bad yet. I manage to not let it bother me too much, throw on some extra thermal layers, and go for a smoke.
...Shit, forgot my last cigs in my friend's car. Okay, no smoking then. Better just go kill this steadily building binge-urge with ridiculous amounts of water, and quickly.
Oh what's that? The water's been cut because the city is doing some maintenance to the pipes?? OH, WELL THAT'S JUST LOVELY. Don't mind, breathe, chill out, I can totally beat this binge. Better just go get some coke zero to chug.
Open cola bottle a little too hastily. Spray myself and the whole kitchen in sugarfree sticky sludge. Invent a few new cursewords. Wipe everything down, google if you can go blind from getting cola foam in the eye. Apologize profusely to my cat, who suffered collateral cola-spray-damage. Clean my kitchen. Realize that was my last cola. Contemplate just drinking the cola-water from my cleaning bucket. Realize I am not QUITE that far gone yet, and make a mental note to check myself into a hospital if I ever start drinking cola-water I cleaned off my own walls.
...So anyway, long story short, I'm pretty sure Haribo and the local pizzeria are somehow sabotaging me to keep my money flowing into their pockets. I'm just sat here laughing at myself and doing my best garbage disposal impression. How has YOUR week started?
[Rant/Rave] Iām garbage š
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 07:37:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s64t4/im_garbage/
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The past few months(holidays, my birthday, anniversary, etc) Iāve just been not caring about myself I guess. Eating and drinking too much, not being active. Iām going away on vacation for a few days with my boyfriend in two weeks and I know weāre going to be taking a ton of pictures. Iām not even technically overweight but my face just looks so round and my thighs are ginormous.
I need to hop back on this wagon. Iām going to eat only a salad today, and stick to water and diet Dr Pepper. Wish me luck ā¹ļø
[Discussion] any recommendations for lifestyle/food vloggers?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 102 | F š]
Created: Mon Jan 22 07:30:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s639e/any_recommendations_for_lifestylefood_vloggers/
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I want to watch more of those YouTube's who do "what I eat in a day" videos, or anything like that. tbh I just wanna watch people eat food, I don't care if it's a super healthy vegan vlogger or a protein packed lifter, or just one of those 10k calorie challenges. anything as long as it's got alright production value and a host that isn't awkward.
[Rant/Rave] About to hit my fake goal weight. Scared bc how do I justify my ED behaviors when I get there
/u/build-the-house [5'6" | 135 | -45]
Created: Mon Jan 22 06:51:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s5uxa/about_to_hit_my_fake_goal_weight_scared_bc_how_do/
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In 5 pounds I'll be 130, which is a 50 lb weight loss. My actual goal is 110, just under the normal weight range. I'm married and my husband kind of knows that I have ED but doesn't really get that I'm not in recovery. I only eat when he's around and I make healthy dinners for the family. But once I hit that weight, I have a feeling that he's going to expect things to change.
[Help] I can't look at my face
/u/babybadluck
Created: Mon Jan 22 06:44:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s5tnr/i_cant_look_at_my_face/
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hello everyone!
Maybe this is more of a dysmorphic thing, but I've kind of fallen into my old ed-type of behavior lately and it still has to do with my weight so...
I can't really look at my face anymore. It stresses/weirds me out. I gained 5kg and that has gotten me back into obsessing over losing weight/my body but I am used to that. I'm used to wanting to be skinnier, restricting, binging... But it upsets me so much that I can't look into the mirror and look at my own face.
My cheeks are rounder and my face just feels out of proportion. I have a double chin for gods sake?! When I need to get ready for something I cover up sections of my face so I don't have to look at it at once and do my makeup like that.
I've spent a lot of time at home lately, so it has been easy to avoid looking at myself. But man, I love doing my makeup and I want to look at my new nose piercing...
I hate this so much, have any of you felt this way before? Do you think it will go away once I lose the weight?
[Discussion] January 22nd, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 06:36:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s5rxv/january_22nd_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Are you seeking security or adventure?
Security. Someone hurt me and now I feel like worthless and not good enough. So might as well eat just jello as long as I can because if I see this guy again I want him to see what heās done to me (he always said he didnāt want me to lose weight).
[Help] Throat infection from purging?
/u/HeadSpace1
Created: Mon Jan 22 06:29:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s5qon/throat_infection_from_purging/
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Hey EDS, I saw a doctor last week and found out I have a throat infection. I didn't mention purging, and somehow its only now hitting me that I could be to blame.
I don't purge with dirty items (tmi but I don't for example use dirty toothbrushes to hit my gag) and I eat pretty clean. Did I cause my infection, and if I did, how do I avoid getting one again assuming I don't quit purging?
Thanks for any answers
[Help] Question about hair loss and coldness.
/u/Dietfuckingcoke [5'4'' | CW 108 lbs | BMI 18.5 | GW 105 lbs | 24F]
Created: Mon Jan 22 06:27:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s5qb8/question_about_hair_loss_and_coldness/
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Up until Christmas I'd been restricting for the past year mixed in with some occasionally binging but mostly my weight has been falling consistently for a year. The two worst aspects for me is my hair is falling out and I'm absolutely freezing all the time, my feet are like blocks off ice and I find it impossible to warm up if I get cold.
Once I've lost my Christmas weight I'm considering maintaining as my boyfriend has called me out on it. I'm wondering if the coldness and hair loss is a symptom of malnutrition or being underweight? I'd like to stay a few pounds underweight and eat at maintenance. Will they stop when I'm eating at my TDEE or will I just always be like this now.
Thank you xxxx
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! January 22, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 22 05:14:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s5d1v/weekly_stats_update_january_22_2018/
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This is the weekly status thread for January 22, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 22, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 22 05:14:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s5d0u/daily_food_diary_january_22_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 22, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I just binged at IHOP.
/u/pickles023
Created: Mon Jan 22 04:24:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s5521/i_just_binged_at_ihop/
---
[removed]
I just checked my weight for the first time after being on vacation for two weeks.
/u/fatandignored
Created: Mon Jan 22 03:23:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s4w09/i_just_checked_my_weight_for_the_first_time_after/
---
I gained almost 10 pounds. TEN!! I visited my boyfriend for a week and I thought my stomach was just bigger from not taking a shit for a long time (didnāt want to stink the bathroom up...), but it was still like that after flying to visit my dadās family too. I checked tonight and Iām honestly so shocked and disgusted at myself.
A part of me is excited to finally restrict again but Iām so scared Iām just gonna continue eating whatever I want.
I need to lose more weight before I visit my boyfriend again, I donāt like him grabbing my tummy :(
Hereās to restricting and exercising again ā”
[Help] Really need to hear some "It Gets Better" stories right now
/u/cityofstarlight
Created: Mon Jan 22 02:04:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s4kfg/really_need_to_hear_some_it_gets_better_stories/
---
Have you ever been to a point so low that you just want to die, that suicide suddenly starts to make sense, BUT you persevered and are now in a good place in life?
If so I'd love to hear your stories, I really NEED to hear them right now.
I never thought I'd post something like this but.. I need help. I'm a university student and a hard worker, I've pushed through many terrible things in my life but stayed strong. But now I want to give up. On everything. Ive never been so alone, I have always had no real family (addicts mostly), no serious relationships in a few years now, and the group of friends (that I consider family) that have kept me strong now all have other things going on in their lives like boyfriends/girlfriends/travelling etc and so I hardly see most of them anymore. I know that the last friends that I still see regularly will be gone soon too. And then I'll truly have no one. And I just cant muster up the self-love/worth, when I feel that no one else has ever truly put me first or loved me, not one parent or friend or anything.
Sorry for this sad post haha, I just had to get it out somehow. Please tell me that it gets better, please tell me how you've gone from being this alone to finding a life full of people and love.. I want to keep going but I don't see the point when there's no one that would even really notice that I'm gone. Any stories at all will be much loved and appreciated by me ā¤ļø
[Rant/Rave] Embarrassing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 22 01:34:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s4gfr/embarrassing/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s4gfr/embarrassing/
Endoscopy and Protein Powder
/u/heajasheraza
Created: Mon Jan 22 00:21:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s4653/endoscopy_and_protein_powder/
---
Iām getting an Endoscopy next month. I have GERD, esophagus problems, and ulcers. I take medicine to manage it but I have to stop taking it a week before the procedure. So, Iām going to eat a very bland diet for most of the next month to prepare and recover. Mostly soups.
I was thinking about protein shakes also since I have a very active job. I do about 20,000 steps a day and an awful lot of heavy lifting. Iāve never had any protein shakes.. just stuff like Ensure because I had a hard time keeping a healthy weight during pregnancies. I donāt know much about protein shakes so I asked my husband today in the store about it and he asked āWhy do you want to gain weight?ā He is used to the idea of drinking protein to gain weight but I explained my plan and he sort of just shrugged like he had no clue what I was talking about it.
I need something to keep my energy up while Iām at work without eating a big meal but I donāt want to gain or drastically lose a lot of weight. Losing weight sounds awesome to me but I know my doctor will say something because my last visit I lost a lot of weight and she was very curious.
So, do you guys do protein shakes? How much or what kind do you guys use?
[Rant/Rave] Losing as much weight as I can: my method of coping with aging
/u/keep__refrigerated
Created: Mon Jan 22 00:15:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s451y/losing_as_much_weight_as_i_can_my_method_of/
---
As I approach 30, I feel anxious because of what ultimately lays ahead: 40, 50, 60. Never mind death; most live to old age before that, which I find to be much scarier than death itself.
Aging is rough as friends used to come and go, but now they just go, and are much more difficult to come by. It's rough as more and more of your peers get married and the prospects of finding partners becomes harder, leaving one lonelier and lonelier if single but seeking companionship. It becomes more difficult to achieve shifting career goals as the world values and prioritizes young folks over older ones, unanimously.
A resulting unsettling depression ensues. Deep grief for the days when anything felt possible, opportunities seemed limitless, life was so much easier but being in the moment made that difficult to see life from a broader perspective.
Losing as much weight as possible (in a disordered way, sure, but I'm not fazed by this fact) gives me at least one aspect of control over my body when it is otherwise deteriorating. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and the possibility for continued accomplishment as everything else becomes increasingly more difficult to achieve. Dying with dignity is kind of how it feels.
[Help] New to Peach...
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 23:44:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s405v/new_to_peach/
---
I'm Pineppleprincessa on peach-- any other newbies???
I'm trying to find a bunch of posts to add all of ya but there are so many, add me! :)
Starting the week off right... lmao š¤¦š»āāļø
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 21 23:18:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s3vvz/starting_the_week_off_right_lmao/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Please help me.
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Sun Jan 21 22:47:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s3qfd/please_help_me/
---
I donāt even know what to do. This is going to be long so skip if you donāt want to read.
I always thought I am going to be living the fairy tale dream at this age. 13. The beginning of the best years of your life. In reality though, āThe fairy Tales Yearsā are more of a nightmare.
I want to die. Well not exactly. I am not suicidal, I just donāt really want to be alive. It would be selfish of me to die, because my mom said she would die without me. I live what I personally think is a very miserable life. Itās amazing - middle class parents, no really hardships- but miserable. My dad has horrible anger issues, so he and my mom divorced 3 years ago. Itās been a downward spiral since then.
After the divorce, my grandpa( who I was close to) died of lung cancer, then my dog died. Then my 2 best friends actually dumped me ( told the school I was a clingy pig) so yeah you can imagine the effects that one year did to a 10 year old. I used eating as a form of comfort, and gained 30 pounds. I was maybe 90 pounds and about 4ā6, and was mostly fat. Thatās when my body issues began to spiral. I didnāt have that many friends at the beginning of 6th grade, but by the end I had a lot. And with the friends came the weight. A lot of weight.
I shot up another 40 pounds by the end of the 6th grade. I was maybe 4ā10 and 135 pounds, and so unhappy with my body. Boys would look at me in disgust, and shopping was a nightmare. My nanny ( my second mother) told me if I could just lose 10 pounds it would be easier. And I tried. It would last for 2 days then I would end up back with the candy.
So, by January 21st, exactly a year ago, I decided to go on the diet that would change everything. I decided to cut calories. And boy did it work. 40 pounds gone in 2 months just by not eating. It fucked everything up- my friendships, family, and the way I saw myself. Thankfully I ārecovered ā for 6 months. But I relapsed. And this time it was different.
The last 4 months have been horrible. My cousin successfully committed suicide, and my great grandmother tried to. I realized I am bi, but I havenāt told anyone yet and I am terrified. My best friends replaced me, and I am binging and restricting every other day.
I am so worried. I know I canāt do this to my body while I am growing. I have to grow, or else life is going to be hard. I know the thoughts about suicide are normal, but I am scared of them. Please help me out of this shit hole. I am scared for my life.
[Discussion] Does anyone here often eat spicy high calorie foods?
/u/coffeepaysthebills
Created: Sun Jan 21 22:39:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s3p3u/does_anyone_here_often_eat_spicy_high_calorie/
---
I love snacking on foods like almonds and dried fruit which are healthy but also high calorie. I often cut them out of my diet in order to fit proper meals in. But recently, Iāve been allowing myself to snack on spicier version of these foods like jalapeƱo seasoned nuts and wasabi peas because I eat slower and am less tempted to binge on them.
[Rant/Rave] Why can't I stop
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 22:25:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s3mhc/why_cant_i_stop/
---
[removed]
yay poop story!
/u/yaogauiasaurus
Created: Sun Jan 21 22:18:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s3l9z/yay_poop_story/
---
Just a random thing that happened to me today. Sorry not sorry for the tmi....I literally couldn't tell this to anyone else.
So I've been restricting to less than 500 calories a day for like four months (300 on a good day) and I've gone from 155 to 128. Yay right?
Well yesterday was my birthday, and today my anniversary with my husband so I'm like...fuckit. I'm going to go out for Chinese with the family and IM GOING TO ACTUALLY EAT. Let's fucking do this.
I go. I eat like 1300 calories. Mostly of peanut butter chicken which is my all time favorite food ever. Jeez. For a normal person that not even that big a deal Tbh. Right? Especially cause I haven't eaten anything else (but of course I still dread looking at the scale tomorrow). Whatever.
10 minutes later husband is still eating. Kids are on to desserts. And it hits. My stomach cramps. It feels like there is a ball of lead in my stomach. And my stomach is cramping around that ball of lead and death.
I managed to make it home and then spent the next hour peeing out of my butt. Like. Niagara falls of half digested food and death. What in God's name is happening to my body?!
Final thoughts/wrap up: I may never eat again. Fml.
[Rant/Rave] I can't eat solid food without weed and my dealers are completely dry
/u/PunkHoyden [5'8. 107pounds. BMI 15.85 Lost:145pounds. Female.]
Created: Sun Jan 21 22:05:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s3ij1/i_cant_eat_solid_food_without_weed_and_my_dealers/
---
GUESS WHO IS AT THEIR LOWEST WEIGHT IN YEAAAAARS WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
48.7kgs bmi 15.85.
I've had one solid meal after being plied with alcohol last night (sunday night) since Friday. I'm am currently only able to tolerate soup and almond milk tea.
It's looking like it's gonna be a few more days before they get any so I have a decent shot at getting to my lowest ever weight (45kgsish)
[Help] I wanna cry
/u/katheriiiine
Created: Sun Jan 21 21:59:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s3hd0/i_wanna_cry/
---
I just went on holidays with my family and I got home today and before the holiday I was 51kg and now I am 54KG I WANNA CRY!
Idk what to do!
Like wtf I put omg so much weight and I feel and look so fat! And I feel like I wonāt be able to eat less and like ughh idk rip
Someone help me please!!!
[Other] Canāt get the feeling out of my mind
/u/dre-ezy [5ā4 | CW 101.2 | ftm ]
Created: Sun Jan 21 21:10:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s381p/cant_get_the_feeling_out_of_my_mind/
---
Iāve been lowkey on an mdma binge for the past week with my roommate (who also has an eating disorder) and the other night we did a little too much and we both ended up puking
Iāve never experienced anything like it before. Vomiting felt SO GOOD. I watched my roommate puke, and he looked up at me from the toilet with a big smile on his face. He described it as āan orgasm from the other sideā
I canāt get it out of my brain. It felt so amazing. All I wanna do is do
so much mdma that I puke again, I need to feel it again, I felt like I was getting rid of my sins, and because I was rolling so hard I didnāt feel any nausea or
pain at all.
Iām just wondering, is this a common thing? Did me and my friends eating disorders contribute to how amazing it felt or was it purely the drugs?
I just wanna do it again
I need to get high again
[Discussion] What are your goals for the summer and how are you gonna get there?
/u/sadanna [5'4 | CW: 120 | a 20 y/o gay girl]
Created: Sun Jan 21 20:45:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s32z4/what_are_your_goals_for_the_summer_and_how_are/
---
[removed]
~Ana butteflies~
/u/axanax_lattepls [5'4~ cw: 108~ gw: 95/85?]
Created: Sun Jan 21 20:45:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s32v8/ana_butteflies/
---
Ok I've been drinking and this is a total shot post but can we talk about the cringe that is ana butterfly/butterflies. Old me would have eaten that shit up but now I'm just like OMG. Have any of you seen Starving in Suburbia btw?
[Help] Whats a woosh?
/u/ThermalAnvil [15 lbs lost]
Created: Sun Jan 21 20:16:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s2wtx/whats_a_woosh/
---
So Monday-Friday I'm too busy/stressed to eat much so I'm "generally" under my tdee, great! (I'm at least consciously trying to not eat over 1,200) but then Saturday and Sunday it's binge city.
Just today I had roughly 2,300 calories (and the night isn't over!)
The issue is that the past two weeks I'll be around 221-224 pounds Monday-Friday but then Sunday I'll be 217 which is a pretty number cause I keep plateauing at 219 when I don't binge on the weekend but after 4 months of being stuck at 219 I just gave in to the weekend. Now this woosh gives me false hope. Whats up with it?? It doesnt seem like CICO.
[Rant/Rave] The guy I caught feels for called me "super skinny"
/u/lavenderbruises [5'10"|CW 115| GW 100| BMI 16.74| 19F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 20:16:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s2wtk/the_guy_i_caught_feels_for_called_me_super_skinny/
---
New semester, new me (sort of). I've been eating "normally" for some time now, and I'm also trying out other "normal" people things. I.e. dating.
I matched with this guy on Tinder a week ago. He's about my age and lives on the army base not far from my school. We started chatting everyday the past week. He would always send me cute snapchats and flirty messages and such. Finally, we arranged to meet.
We met at a coffee shop yesterday. He was so much more handsome in person. Tall, blond, olive eyes. Strong physique, cute accent. I immediately felt so plain and boring, but I tried not to show it. After, we went to my room, watched a TV episode, then somehow or rather we ended up kissing and cuddling.
I took off my shirt and he remarked at how skinny I was. He mentioned how much stronger he was than me and there was something about the way he said it that was just so sexy. Not to be TMI but he liked being a bit "rough" with me, i.e. pushing me down on the bed, squeezing my neck and shoulders, sitting himself on me so I couldn't move. He just did not give a fuck and it was so hot. He was also incredibly sweet at times too. Like, sometimes he'd trace my collarbones, ribs, spine with his fingers, and I felt so delicate and dainty (hard feat for someone who's 5'10).
The whole time I was self conscious about my face, yes, but I wasn't about my body. I mentioned how small my boobs were and he said, "Don't worry, I like small breasts". For the first time in a long time, I felt confident in my body. It comforted me knowing that my body made up for my face. He also said (twice!!) that he "liked" me. He never once called me beautiful or pretty or cute, but he did call me skinny and "hot"--so that's good enough or me.
Anyways, ended up catching the feels for the guy, but that's another story, lololol. Counting down the days when I can see him again š
[Other] This is what it means to me
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 115 | 19.7 | meh | 26F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 20:16:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s2wpe/this_is_what_it_means_to_me/
---
https://i.redd.it/ldffteg2ejb01.jpg
I failed and no I feel really really bad
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jan 21 20:03:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s2tyb/i_failed_and_no_i_feel_really_really_bad/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Nothing more depressing than looking back at old photos...
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5" | CW š± | -27.6lbs]
Created: Sun Jan 21 19:45:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s2puw/nothing_more_depressing_than_looking_back_at_old/
---
Looking at photos from seven years ago. I was so cute! I was also 60lb lighter than I am now. Now I'm disgusting. I've ruined my body.
I wish I had never met my ex. I wish I had never moved. I wish, I wish, I wish... ~~I could just die right now.~~
[Goal] MyFitnessPal Friends
/u/PsychoticPangolin [š | SW 150 | CW 102 | GW 90 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 19:44:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s2pk1/myfitnesspal_friends/
---
I would like to have more friends from here on MFP (open diaries are a plus). No one I'm friends with has said anything about my low calorie intake, but I feel self-conscious, I guess. I could always use more food ideas/inspiration and motivation!
Leave your names here :)
[Rant/Rave] Mirrors: A tale of two citites
/u/321Model [5'4| GW: 150 | 30's/F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 19:38:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s2o58/mirrors_a_tale_of_two_citites/
---
I went shopping this morning for work supplies and I passed through the clothing section and caught myself in the mirror. I was SHOCKED. I hadn't seen myself in a full length mirror in months. I don't have one at home because it's too triggering.
I looked like a mess: HUGE. Sloppy. Bloated. Nothing like I see myself. I thought I was pulling off the whole "casual" thing, but in reality I looked like a disheveled older woman in clothes too young for my age. I looked out of place in my own clothes.
I tried to look past it and tell myself "who cares?" but honestly I couldn't wait to get out of there, back in my car and safe in the walls of my home. Can I just lose 50 pounds overnight so I can leave the house with my head held high?
[Discussion] Do you guys over-estimate everything just to be safe? As in not just calories, but also other day to day life stuff?
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'7 | CW:115 | 17.9 | GW: 108| HW: 136|F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 19:22:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s2kk6/do_you_guys_overestimate_everything_just_to_be/
---
I don't know if these tendencies are connected, but I over-estimate absolutely everything.
People always tease me for being early to everything, and I like joke about being compulsively punctual, but it really is a quirk for me. If I'm going anywhere I overestimate the time I'll need to get there by a good thirty minutes at least.
I over-estimate how long it'll take me to finish some work by hours. Even if I know exactly how long it takes, the idea of not giving myself a good four hours to do a thirty minute task just freaks me out every time. And it's not like I'm super productive because of this. I'll give myself four hours to do a thirty minute task and when I finish in thirty minutes I'll just take the rest of that time off and just dick around on reddit or youtube or whatever until the next allotted working timeslot.
I do it with money for sure. I never want to buy anything, and I get very stressed if my savings dip below a certain number, even if it's unreasonable. If I'm planning a trip or a night out I'll stress out over not having enough money to do it, and imagine I'll need some exorbitantly over estimated amount of money to do the thing, when I know rationally how much it'll really cost and that I have more than enough to do it.
[Discussion] Has anyone successfully cut out sugar?
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 139.0 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 19:03:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s2gb0/has_anyone_successfully_cut_out_sugar/
---
Not fruit or anything, but any added sugars. I will be the first to admit candy is my drug. I'm typing this while chewing tootsie roll bites. I've tried to quit and I do well for a week or so and then I slip without realizing.
I do the shopping for 2 households, so I can't avoid the candy. It's at the checkouts so even if I avoid a candy aisle, it's in my face.
Sugar gives me the 5 minute rush while I eat it and then a severe headache the rest of the day. I never learn. It doesn't make me break out, but I know sugar is terrible for the skin and I'm hoping vanity can motivate me a bit.
I'd love to hear some success from recovering sugar addicts.
[Rant/Rave] Canāt believe how big I was
/u/sadveggiehead [5ā5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 17:40:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s1ybc/cant_believe_how_big_i_was/
---
Like I am wearing a pair of tights that I wore to the gym a few months back and they are so loose they are falling off me. Unbelievable that I ate my way up to being a size large in TIGHTS. Glad I am loosing.
[Discussion] ED community takeover of the app "Peach"
/u/histrionicbitch [5'2" | 95 | 17.3 | 45lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Jan 21 17:09:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s1qzp/ed_community_takeover_of_the_app_peach/
---
Over on myproana, a user discovered the dead social media app "Peach" and since it's inactive the ED community over there is trying to turn it into a cool place for ED people to chill. It's kinda like a cross between Facebook and twitter? If you're interested you should join! My user is @whatsuedidnext.
[Discussion] What do you consider the perfect hip + waist measurements
/u/katiecski
Created: Sun Jan 21 16:31:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s1igc/what_do_you_consider_the_perfect_hip_waist/
---
Safe foods?
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 16:31:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s1idk/safe_foods/
---
I'm sitting here sipping hot chicken broth while my cabbage boils on the stove. I cut up red peppers and onions today and roasted them with garlic. I'm trying to find things that are safe to have in tupperware in the fridge that aren't completely flavorless but low calorie. I'm struggling hard right now. What do you eat when you don't want to eat?
[Help] Can restricting stop your period even if youāre not underweight?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Sun Jan 21 16:18:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s1fcc/can_restricting_stop_your_period_even_if_youre/
---
My BMI is 24 but I havenāt had my period since I started restricting. Iāve never been regular, but this is the longest I have ever gone without a period.
Could it be the restricting or is it likely something else since Iām not underweight?
[Rant/Rave] Doctor tomorrow
/u/filthypit [23F ā¢ 5ā4ā ā¢ 99lbs]
Created: Sun Jan 21 15:51:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s18mw/doctor_tomorrow/
---
Last time i saw my GP was in October, the very first morning i saw 100.0 as an adult. I had an appointment early, so I put on boots, two pairs of leggings, a heavy sweatshirt, drank a bunch of water and put some junk in my pockets.
I weighed 108 and my doctor still made several comments about being careful. When i first started seeing him i was 125-130. Unfortunately for my progress i have been in the same 3 lb range lately as i was back then in October.
But I am also scared if i see below 108 tomorrow i will be taken off certain meds. I used it as an excuse to go freaking wild today and am resisting intense urges to feel empty. My symptoms lately probably have something to do with all of this and i feel like it is a major thing to hide but i am so worried there is something worse going on.
I guess theres not really a point to this post but needed somewhere to get it down. Thanks ā„ļø
[Rant/Rave] I don't know why I read the comments
/u/vulturepants [5'5 | SW: 175 | CW: too much | GW: 120]
Created: Sun Jan 21 15:21:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s11ht/i_dont_know_why_i_read_the_comments/
---
i just saw a post on r/pics of a girl recovering from an eating disorder and i decided to check out the comments because i hate myself and apparently love pain. most of the comments were supportive but there was one along the lines of "you look good, although that's coming from me; where i live all the girls are (INSERT VULTUREPANTS' EXACT HEIGHT AND WEIGHT) and they pretend that they're healthy"
as if i wasnt feeling horrible enough lmao, fucking kill me :-)))))))))))))))
I am uncomfortable in clothes that "fit", dysmorphia yay! Also feel stuck in restriction mode..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jan 21 15:16:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s10dq/i_am_uncomfortable_in_clothes_that_fit_dysmorphia/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
Last few days I've worn long sleeves to cover up self harm from this last week and weekend and I feel weird wearing clothes that are ridiculously big on me. I lost a few pounds after restricting now and I just want everything to be big. I feel really bothered when things fit.
I guess shoes and pants are sort of an exception but tops and jackets I need to swim in then and be able to hide all of myself. I wore a flannel yesterday and my coworker asked if it was a dress I just told him it was cozy and he should be jealous.
Another side rant. I don't know how to get out of restricting or if I want to. I lost 5 pounds in a week eating barely anything and not being hungry because I eat frequently but really low calorie things. I miss going out though, and bread. I want to eat some vegan chickn nuggets or pasta but no I can't and shouldn't it would lead to a binge.
I keep trying to plan little things to fit into a 500 calorie day. I want to gradually eat more and slow down loss so my family doesn't get suspicious and I feel like that means I need to slow down and eat more but I am totally terrified. I guess I could just eat slightly more than what I do but I'm scared of it turning back into binging and ultimately purging..
[Rant/Rave] Today I feel like a whale, everything is catching up to me.
/u/Ironicbanana14
Created: Sun Jan 21 14:52:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s0uff/today_i_feel_like_a_whale_everything_is_catching/
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I am a whale lol. But I had a Dr. Pepper today after 6 months of nothing but 0 cal drinks and now I want to die, I feel like all my effort was for nothing! And earlier this month, I went for a check up and only lost 3 lbs in 2 months. I went home and actually cried myself to sleep that day :/. I had thought I lost at least 10 more. Everything is hitting me like a ton of bricks today.
Sidenote, fuck loose skin.
[Help] Bulimia Treatment
/u/xox_morbid
Created: Sun Jan 21 14:42:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s0ry4/bulimia_treatment/
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I need to talk to my doctor about my bulimia. Itās gotten out of control.
What should I expect? Iām terrified and I donāt know how to bring it up to her.
[Discussion] Scale days
/u/PainlessMe [17F | 1.75 | CW: 63.6 | GW: 50 | SW: 70.1]
Created: Sun Jan 21 14:29:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s0oph/scale_days/
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I have one day a week (wednesday) where I log my weight in the morning after Iāve peed and before breakfast, not that I have breakfast often though. Apart from that I weigh myself at least twice every day and for example when I weigh myself on sunday evening I decide āwell thatās not low enough to see progress in the mfp weight log, better fast the next two daysā
DAE do this? Weighing yourself all the time but only logging it once a week so you can correct some gains etc?
[Other] Body Dysmorphia? Never heard of her
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW: uhhhhhhhhh scale broke]
Created: Sun Jan 21 14:22:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s0n5t/body_dysmorphia_never_heard_of_her/
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https://pigeonzboi.tumblr.com/post/169972324297/i-hate-how-all-my-body-confidence-disappears-as
[Discussion] Group chats
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 14:21:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s0mx9/group_chats/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I love being reminded of how gross I look...
/u/PlanetArkanis [5'8'' | CW ā¹ | -52.2lbs | F22]
Created: Sun Jan 21 14:11:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s0km1/i_love_being_reminded_of_how_gross_i_look/
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My birthday is coming up in about two weeks and my roommate/long-time friend came to ask me what my shirt size was for a gift. I told her a large, and she looked at me for a second before asking, "Like, comfortably?"
Like, wow! Thank you for reminding me how huge and disgusting I am that you don't even think I could reasonably fit into a large when I'm practically swimming in all of my old XL shirts now.
And I knooow she didn't mean it maliciously or whatever, but this friend kinda-sorta knows about my ED (though not the full extent of it), and she knows that I've been counting calories and trying to lose weight, so that comment really fucking struck a nerve. And now today is a fasting day for me. My petty ass has to make sure I fit into that large t-shirt """comfortably."""
I hate myself for gaining a stone but I can't stop :(
/u/peony62
Created: Sun Jan 21 14:11:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s0kj1/i_hate_myself_for_gaining_a_stone_but_i_cant_stop/
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So I've been B/P for 10 yr now I'm usually pretty good at controlling my weight I yo-yo but i stay around the same point. Recently i've lost control been B/P more than ever gained 1 stone - don't fit in my clothes and just hate myself I look disgusting, I'm so fat and my clothes just don't fit. I'm so insecure right now but can't get out of this cycle can any one give me some advice on a similar situation or how they get out of a cycle of self destruction or tips for restricting?
Sidenote; I've started to seek help, but i get the impression it'll take a while :( I just want to live a normal life...
[Discussion] DAE just go "I'll just make myself puke now then" when they feel sick?
/u/lilmissdisappearing [5'3" | 103.7 | 18.88 | 22F | š@lilmiss]
Created: Sun Jan 21 13:50:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s0f7s/dae_just_go_ill_just_make_myself_puke_now_then/
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I hate that awful nauseous pre-sick feeling. If I'm gonna puke anyways, I'd rather it be on my own terms. š¤·
Am I just a crazy person?
I remember this time camping one of the guys ate expired fish by accident, and just went and vomited somewhere in the forest. Everyone was basically like "wow that's so intense, what a survivalist." I feel I would not get that reception lol.
[Other] Iām too poor to be a binge queen
/u/ActuallyRubbish
Created: Sun Jan 21 13:39:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s0crv/im_too_poor_to_be_a_binge_queen/
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Yet here I am, walking home from dollar general with a bag full of brownie stuffed chips ahoy, a king size Reeseās peanut butter cup, and a box of cheddar whales to remind me of what I truly am while I lie in bed eating it all in front of my tv. š
Edit: Today will be better, thanks for the kind words. I didnāt realize dollar store binges were such a shared experience, itās nice to know Iām not alone lmao. I think itās really nice that this sub (as well as the meme sub) have a lot of support for people with binge eating problems.
Nervous seeing parents again
/u/Kinglens311
Created: Sun Jan 21 13:36:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s0byu/nervous_seeing_parents_again/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s0aw7/nervous_seeing_parents_again/?utm_source=ifttt
[Rant/Rave] I can't be sick
/u/flowerxng [5'5.5''| cw: ugh | i just wanted to be happy]
Created: Sun Jan 21 13:34:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s0bjh/i_cant_be_sick/
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I just feel like I can't be sick. Like, I eat only healthy foods and I try to exercise as much as I can and I'm supposedly at a healthy weight (albeit borderline underweight... which honestly makes me so happy). I'm not where I was at my lowest, I know that I was unhealthy back then, but I really want to get back there and my therapist says that means I'm still sick. I don't know why, I want to be sick enough for people to notice, but also not too sick that I'm forced back into treatment. I'm floating between this rational mindset and this weird ED-thought mindset. It's confusing me.
[Discussion] Nervous seeing parents again
/u/fitisthegoal [F21|5'5|CW130 |GW115]
Created: Sun Jan 21 13:32:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s0aw7/nervous_seeing_parents_again/
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So I have super awesome parents that I'm very thankful for, and it makes me sad that we don't live in the same country. When they came for holiday over christmas they were very complimentary about my weight loss (chubby->slim(ish)) but my mom was concerned and basically made me promise not to lose any more and only focus on working out if I wanted to keep going.
I'm worried because I'm going to visit for spring break for a week and by that time (roughly 2 months) I plan to be at my ultimate goal hopefully!
My ultimate goal is borderline healthy/unhealthy bmi and I tried telling my mom it was still healthy but she kept going on about how it's not suitable for my frame...
Anyone have any tips or experiences similar? I won't let them stop my goals and as long as I'm not literally fainting they shouldn't be able to get too mad, but I'm nervous how to combat their concern when they finally see me again.
Sorry for the rant š
[Discussion] January 21st, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 13:23:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s08vi/january_21st_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What are you looking forward to?
[Help] serious question
/u/hornyflannel [5'4" | CW 111 | BMI 18| UGW 100 | -34lbs |19F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 13:11:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s05qv/serious_question/
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does anyone else's hands shake literally all the time regardless of temperature or am i dying
[Discussion] ED and Pregnancy.
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 13:04:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7s03xn/ed_and_pregnancy/
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My DH and I have been making a timeline for kids and I wanted to know how you guys handled being pregnant and post pregnancy while also managing your ED?
[Help] How to counteract high sodium meal
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 115 and staying | BMI 18 | -17 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 12:16:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rzrgk/how_to_counteract_high_sodium_meal/
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SOS, I had to eat a hiiiiiigh salt meal and I don't want it to make me blow up. How to i counteract it? Diuretics make me retain waiter next day
[Intro] I used to post here
/u/SaigeisFun
Created: Sun Jan 21 11:50:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rzkpo/i_used_to_post_here/
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Hello,
I used to post here and then I started getting backlash from other subs when they would scroll through my post history. I make an account for this page only so other aholes wonāt judge me.
I started Nutrisystem. Itās alright. The food isnāt very good but it gets the job done. Before I started I was 153 and seriously struggling to lose anything. I would have bouts of success after restricting and then Iād have a yay me party and ruin it. Now Iām trying this to see what happens.
I also go to the gym every other day and I mentally canāt leave until Iāve burned at least 750 calories. Sometimes Iām there until 4Am lol. and yes I do a 10 hour shift the next day.
These last 3 days have been shit about I remembered this sub. I used to come here for encouragement, to vent, or to read other posts to know Iām not alone.
Anywho Iām glad to be back... without aholes judging me
[Rant/Rave] Maintenance seems like an impossible concept
/u/peridoti [5'0 | 130 lb | F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 11:48:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rzkel/maintenance_seems_like_an_impossible_concept/
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ED thought of the day. I'm overwhelmed by the thought of maintenance. How the HECK am I supposed to eat and move juuuuuust the right amount to create a perfect equilibrium without insane amounts of vigilance and tracking? It's an incredibly complex number of factors that have to zero each other out in order to 'maintain.'
And yet the rest of the world sees maintaining as the default state. I don't get it at all. I dont get how anyone maintains without endlessly detailed planning. It seems truly impossible.
[Intro] just a little intro
/u/flowerxng [5'5.5''| cw: ugh | i just wanted to be happy]
Created: Sun Jan 21 11:34:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rzgsh/just_a_little_intro/
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I've had anorexia for three years, and I've been kind of forced to recover. So currently I'm in the wasteland between being sick and recovering. Just wanted to join so I could let my feelings out since no one else really seems to understand.
[Help] Experts on EC Stacks - Would doing a stack 1x a week be sufficient in keeping my tolerance low/neutral?
/u/stupidminnow
Created: Sun Jan 21 11:22:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rzdyt/experts_on_ec_stacks_would_doing_a_stack_1x_a/
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[Help] I want to make an omelette, but cheese is freaking me out
/u/lunartalk [5'4 | HW:165 | CW:118 |F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 11:21:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rzdll/i_want_to_make_an_omelette_but_cheese_is_freaking/
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What could I put in there for less calories? Any weird but good solutions